#i spend almost 1 hour to repeated those song

[thranduilswifesblog]

It's almost midnight, and I used to listening to random songs 30 minutes before go to bed. And after a very long time, suddenly I'm in the mood to listening to this song again. I remember I listening this song when it came out and turned out this song is GOT's unused soundtrack.

But instead of GOT, why I feel this song really suit Turgon and the fall of gondolin. Like "Gloria Regali, peace and understanding. Forever may you reign" 😭 like it's just him!! This song made for him and Gondolin!! 😭

And then this one.... This one is literally suit for the house of Finwë and Fëanorean 😭

Please whoever will gonna bring the 1st age materials to the live action, can you just use this song? 😭

[wave2tyun]

apple cider | ☆

pairing: huening kai x reader

genre: fluff, childhood friends to lovers

summary: you were foolishly blind to the feelings you held for your best friend, huening kai, until one they, they started to bottle up like soda pop

warnings: slight injury?? nothing serious<3

word count: 3.5k

a/n: apple cider by beabadoobee has been ON REPEAT!!!! these past few days!!!!1!1! which is why i believed it might be the perfect time to bring this fic back!!😋 i love love love writing things based on songs, and this is (obviously asbdsjha) where the inspo for this fic came from, as well as the studio ghibli movie 'from up on poppy hill'!! :D also, is it just me or do 24 hours in a day simply not feel like enough anymore......?😖

☆ = repost from my old blog!!

huening kai was the definition of a sweetheart. grandmas loved him, animals adored him, he was the type of boy anybody's parents would be delighted to meet if you brought him home. and most importantly, he was your best friend.

you and kai met in kindergarten. your very first interaction happened when your parents were late to pick you up, so you, a sensitive child started crying a river. kai was even faster than the teacher to approach you, napkin in his hand and a sweet smile on his face. he patted your back until your parents arrived, sometimes cracking some pokemon impressions in an attempt to make you smile again like he saw you earlier that morning. during your arts and crafts session the next day, you made kai a sloppy drawing of his favorite pokemon character, which, to this day, he insists is the greatest gift he has ever received, the treasured piece of paper sitting in a frame on his nightstand to remain in pristine condition.

from that day on, you only ended up spending more and more time together. you switched seats so that you could sit next to each other during classes, played together during breaks and became lunch buddies, an unspoken promise which had been kept during primary school, middle school, and even now, as you were both high school students in your last year. kai grew up to be a piano prodigy, thus becoming the president of the school's music club. you, on the other hand, wasn't any interested in any extracurricular activities, preferring to stay in bed and sleep your day away on the days where your parents weren't attacking you with house chores. still, you and kai were stuck together like glue. you talked on the phone every day at midnight, rambling on about your day or about anything that crossed your mind; you tried your best to meet up outside of school whenever your schedules allowed, popping a cold bottle of your favorite sweet apple cider.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

your eyes scanned the tables for kai once again. he told you to meet up at the outside dining area, but 15 minutes had passed and he was nowhere to be seen. you huffed, placing your tray down at a table where some of your classmates sat. ‘can’t believe he’d ditch me today’ you angrily pierced the straw through your milk carton.

the sound of a loud horn startled you, making you almost choke on your drink. the highest windows of the school were opened with a bang, paper scrolls coming out of them, followed by the heads of some students as they were peeking out.

“are those the club leaders?” someone at your table asked.

“yeah...seems like so” yunjin answered “what are they up to now?”

you shielded your eyes with your hand, squinting as you tried to read the words written on the papers.

‘lack of freedom kills the people’

“they’re protesting” you broke the silence, making everyone’s head turn towards you “the principal has been wanting to shut down the clubs”

some students gathered around the dining area, they moved in sync and with fast movements, taking out the grate that was placed over the water basin outside. you shrugged, going back to your meal. you weren’t exactly sure what they were going to achieve with this. not even a minute later, yunjin gave you a tap on the shoulder, pointing towards the roof.

“isn’t that-“ she stopped midway, unable to finish her sentence. your face was instantly drained of color at the sight.

it was huening kai.

“what the hell is he doing up there” you mumbled, frowning. you didn’t have a good feeling about this- whatever this was.

huening kai had a bright smile plastered on his face, the whole school’s attention being on him. he coughed then cleared his throat before loudly speaking.

“if our words weren’t enough to reach principal Jung, then that means that it is time for us to turn to actions” he inched closer towards the edge of the roof. his voice remained confident, but his hands betrayed him, shaking as he held the mic close to his chest.

you gulped. you felt nauseous, an empty feeling was taking over your stomach despite the distance between the roof and the ground not being that high.

“if you don’t want to respect us- we will make ourselves heard” huening kai turned his head, looking back at the boys behind him, who gave him a short nod. then, he put the mic down, taking a deep breath before diving into the air, aiming for the water basin.

the plan was easier said than done, and kai stumbled into a bush before landing down on his knees in the shallow water. the members of the photography club were quick to capture the moment, just like you were quick to jump out of your seat and approach the boy. “are you okay-“ you reached your hand out to help him stand up. kai’s smile never faltered away, and once he was back on his feet, he gave you a wink as he clasped your hands together. the bright flashes of the cameras surrounded you in an instant, the photographers pushing through to get “the best shot”.

your cheeks turned a bright shade of red, and you let go of his hands, mumbling as you went back to your seat “stupid- so stupid” you continued to stuff your face with the sandwich you had packed in your lunch bag. why was your face burning that much anyway- you shook your head, trying to ignore the thoughts invading your mind, as well as the hushed whispers coming from all around you. you couldn’t let such foolish actions disturb your day.

kai, as usual, still called you that night. you, however, loved being stubborn. when you saw his name coming up on the screen of your phone, you contemplated for a few minutes, before swiping to deny the call. ‘that should teach him’ you thought. barely a minute later, you were already regretting your decision. you were still mad at him, yet, for some reason, you still wanted to hear his voice, just like every other night. it never mattered to you whether it was a proper conversation. you didn’t care what kai would be talking about- you just wanted to feel like you had him, in some way, close to you, though your pride didn’t allow you to be the one to initiate another call. why was it that you wished to hear him so badly? after all, you didn’t even like him...right? or at least- you didn’t even like him that much- right?

you tossed and turned in your bed, unable to let your eyelids close.

fuck.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

dark circles adored your eyes as a result of the poor sleep you had last night. you wished you could skip the first period and remain in bed for just a few minutes more, but your mom wasn’t having any of that. she took the blanket off your bed and opened your window, forcing you to get up and get ready for the day.

you stood in the hallway, head buried in the school’s newspaper, which teased ‘a revolution’ as well as ‘an endearing romance’ with a big image of you and kai holding hands on the front page.

“is there any way i could make it up to you?” you heard a voice near you.

you closed your locker’s door, kai’s face coming into sight, grinning as always. you wanted to ignore him for the day, pretending to be mad at him for the embarrassment that he had put you through the day before. but kai knew you too well- he had already anticipated your reaction to his stunt, and he wasn’t going to let you get rid of him so easily.

“depends. do you have anything in mind?” you crossed your arms, leaning on your side against the locker.

“apple cider, 10 pm at the playground. sounds good?”

you bit your lip to fight back the smile that was threatening to take over your face. looking down at the floor, you chuckled.

“i guess that would suffice. we’ll see”

the bell rang, signaling the end of your break. kai took the chance to quickly ruffle your hair before sprinting to his class. ‘dork’ you snorted, putting it back into place before going your own way.

you were quick to prepare dinner that day. both of your parents were taken aback by the stark change in your attitude compared to how you behaved in the morning, the sudden surge in energy being questionable. they chose not to bring it up though, afraid that they might ruin your mood. you arrived at the playground at 10 pm sharp and sat on one of the swings there, protecting the other vacant one from the kids that still lingered around until kai came. and soon enough, there he was, apple cider bottles in his hands (just like he promised) as he approached you. you smiled at the sight.

“are you that happy to see me?”

“you wish- i’m just happy to receive the apple cider” you joked, lying through your teeth.

“ah- i’m hurt” hueningkai frowned, dramatically putting a hand over his heart. you laughed at his cute antics. he took his place on the swing, handing you one bottle.

“that jumper looks pretty on you, i like it”

“t-thanks” you stuttered, looking down, failing to see the tips of his ears turning pink. you took a sip from the bottle, the taste so refreshing and all too familiar.

“so- did you manage to convince the principal not to shut down the clubs?”

kai chuckled, reminiscing the events “yeah-“ he stood up, putting his hands on his hips and clearing his throat before speaking again with an exaggerated lower voice “never in my 40 years in this field have i ever seen such- such outrageous actions” pinching the bridge of his nose, he continued “whatever, just do whatever you want. at this point it’s less of a pain to let you continue than to cancel everything”

you burst into laughter at his silly act. kai always had his imitations spot on, and to you, it was much more entertaining than any kind of comedy movie.

“i’m glad it wasn’t all in vain” your smile died down upon noticing the bandages wrapped around his hand “is your hand okay though?”

“oh- yeah, don’t worry about it, it’s just a scratch” he replied quickly, stuffing it in the pocket of his jacket before sitting back down. you sat in silence for a while after that, kicking around the pebbles underneath your feet.

“i’m sorry” kai whispered softly.

“hm? sorry for what?” you frowned.

“sorry for getting you involved in this, it wasn’t supposed to be like that- i told the other members of the club to remove the picture from the article but they didn’t listen”

“hey- it’s okay” you reassured him “it was out of your control, it wasn’t like you knew this whole fiasco was going to unfold”

“but-“ he tried to argue,

“no buts” you interrupted him, laughing “whatever happened, happened. plus- i got to drink some apple cider. even better since it was with you- so, it’s all good”

kai returned your smile, he seemed to be a bit more at ease after hearing those words. you wished that you could have found the strength to get up and give him a hug too, but you were too afraid that your heart would burst if you did that now.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“i’m home” you shouted as you stepped inside the house. leaving your bag on the floor in the hallway, you dragged your feet to the kitchen and put on the apron to get started on your dinner. your parents never got off work before your classes ended, meaning that the responsibility of preparing food for everybody always fell on you. you opened the cabinet underneath the sink to get some potatoes, but your hand reached out into nothingness. confused, you crouched down to have a better look. your face dropped as you realised that there was nothing left inside. that one vegetable was the whole star of the dish, meaning that there was simply no way to substitute it.

‘shit shit shit-‘ you stormed out the door, wanting to slap yourself in the face as you recalled the moment your mother asked you to stop by the farmer’s market in the morning. maybe, just this once, the traffic would be jammed and your parents wouldn’t be so quick to return home from work. you struggled to put on your jumper as you also held a basket in your hand, wanting to be as quick as possible. just as you were about to make your way down, you someone called out from behind you:

“need a ride?” kai was riding his bike to his grandparents, but stopped in his tracks upon seeing you in such a hurried and panicked state.

“god- yes, please” you fumbled over your words. the timing couldn’t have been any more perfect; you were so grateful to see him there, you could almost see a ray of light shining on him and a halo on top of his head.

“have a seat then” he laughed.

you quickly sat down in the back of kai’s bicycle. looking down at the steep path in front of you, you gulped “are you sure it’s okay for us to ride together?”

“just hold on tight” kai took hold of your hands and wrapped them around his torso before pressing on one pedal with his foot. you couldn’t even brace yourself properly for the impact as you went down the hill of doom; your head instantly hit kai’s muscular back, and you found yourself holding his body tighter. you closed your eyes, trying to shift your focus from the citizens passing by you in a blur, to the sweet scent of his fruit-punch shampoo invading your senses. kai swiftly took a turn to the left, effortlessly avoiding all the possible obstacles in his path. thankfully, you both made it to the farmer’s market in one piece.

sighing in relief, you lifted yourself up and walked to the nearest vegetable stall around. kai remained right next to you, making a purchase of his own. he munched on a freshly fried hashbrown as you did the necessary shopping, holding a second piece in his other hand.

“all done” your shoulders slumped down, the whole thing had drained you both physically and mentally. you quirked an eyebrow as you looked at kai eating.

“what?” he asked, throwing the last piece of food in his mouth “i need energy to go back”

“right” you sighed “thank you so much. i might live to see another day because of you” you tried to joke. in reality, the thought of your parents scolding you alone was enough to make your heart start beating faster.

“don’t worry about it” he chuckled “here- take this” he handed you the hashbrown he had been holding. you took it reluctantly, not having expected to receive something like this.

“eat it- it’s good. plus, you need energy too” kai grabbed his bicycle again, positioning himself on the leather seat “i have to go now, you should probably hurry too.” he smiled “take care, y/n” kai sent you a little wave before setting off. you stood on the side of the road for one more moment, smiling at the hashbrown in your hand. you took the first bite as you started to go up the hill again, the worries that were clouding your head quickly disappearing.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

somehow, soon enough, you found yourself in front of kai’s house. you wanted to thank him for his sweet gesture from a few days ago. if it weren’t for him, your parents would have probably kept you locked in the house. you didn’t know what you were going to say to him. staring at the box of cookies you brought with you, you tried to muster up the courage to knock on the door.

knock knock knock

you waited patiently, biting your lips.

‘maybe there’s still enough time to run-‘

“y/n- hi, come in” kai opened the door, greeting you.

“hi” you blurted out. stepping inside, you took off your shoes, then silently followed behind kai as he guided you towards his room. piano sheets were spread out everywhere- on the floor, on his desk, on his bed. you’ve never seen it look like such a mess.

“oh- sorry, were you practicing?”

“tried to- the music festival is just around the corner, but the song choices are killing me”

“can you show me?” you asked, it was always a pleasure to hear kai practicing, but this time, you were also using this as an excuse to organise your thoughts properly.

“yeah, come here” kai patted the empty space beside him on the piano bench. you hugged the cookie box close to your chest, the short distance between the two of you making you feel nervous.

kai’s fingers glided along the black and white tiles, wrist playfully flicking up as he changed up the speed with ease to create a flawless, harmonious symphony. it sounded perfect- it always did.

“that was great” you spoke softly as he finished up the piece.

“wanna try?” kai offered.

“s-sure” you stuttered, putting down the box. somehow, despite all those years that you’ve known each other, you had never given learning piano a try.

kai took hold of your right hand, placing it on the keys “you have to use the pad of your fingers” he put his hand over yours, gently pressing down to demonstrate. you prayed that he couldn’t hear the loud sound of your palpitating heart “then- move your wrist up before moving on to the next set of notes, then down, like a feather falling” you started to feel light-headed, the feeling of kai’s warm hands on yours making you unable to concentrate on the task at hand. you looked up at him, his face now much closer to you than when you first started practicing. kai’s hand stopped guiding yours, yet didn’t let go of it. he glanced at you, his gaze stopping on your plush, rosy lips.

“holding you closer right now- would that cross the line?” he spoke softly, in a daze.

“maybe i want you to cross the line” you whispered back.

kai stood still for a moment, letting your words sink in. then- with gentle movements, his hand came to rest on your jawline, thumb rubbing against your cheek. he seemed nervous- so nervous to not ruin all of your built-up relationship up until that point. but fuck it- you looked so pretty with that jumper he adored, sitting gingerly on his piano chair, inviting him to finally feel his lips on yours. how was he supposed to resist? and when kai closed the gap, his mouth meeting yours in a gentle peck, it felt so incredibly right, so good and sweet.

one more peck.

his body shifted even closer to you.

another one.

his hand came to rest on your lower back, yours grabbed hold of his soft black sweater.

and once more- but this time, you both let the touch last longer, melting into the feeling.

“can i kiss you more?” kai asked, voice barely above a whisper, his thumb was caressing your lips as he spoke. you nodded, eager to indulge yourself into the taste of his sweet kiss. you hummed as he pressed his lips on yours again, the butterflies in your heart unable to settle down. he grinned into the kiss at the sound, his heart felt warm knowing that you wanted this, and enjoyed this just as much as he did. you pulled away, giving the mole at the corner of his lips a kiss, then you left another on the one near his temple, ending with the one you adored most, the one on his nose. you cupped his face, the temperature of his cheeks rising against your fingertips. kai chuckled as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, the adoration you felt towards him becoming almost too much to handle.

“do you want to stay the night?” kai asked bashfully, his fingers playing with one of your sleeves “i have some apple cider left” he looked up at you, eyes gleaming with hope.

“of course i want to” you giggled, dipping down to leave another peck on his soft lips.

3 bottles of apple cider down, you and kai laid down on the bed, legs tangled with each other as he played with your hair and you braided his. you joked around, playing with the plushies on his bed, sometimes stealing kisses on the cheek from each other and falling into another fit of shy giggles yet again. and when you finally drifted off to sleep, hand in hand, you swore you had never felt your heart feel more at ease.

@huekalover3000 @maybabe00 @sunoooism @boba-beom

[exhuastedpigeon]

WAIT NO ONE ASKED YOU QUESTIONS!?

Okay. Every single odd number on that list.

I reblogged that post last night and fell asleep almost immediately after 😂😂! Thanks for asking Tanis!!

1. Share a song that makes you think of [fic title] Afraid of Heights by boygenius always makes me think about it hurts to hope for more. I listened to that song on repeat while writing it that no whenever I heart it I think about that fic.

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? That's like asking me for my favourite child (not that I have kids). I'm sticking with buddie fics here since I have almost 150 fics on Ao3 and that's way too many to think about.

Honestly, there ain't no turning back might be my favourite even though it isn't fully published!

Or I really love gold when you see me too.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write? Answered here :)

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now? Uhhh too many?? I have 5 'active' wips (meaning I'm actually working on them a little bit) and like 20 other ideas. I tend to get an idea, work on it like my hair is on fire, and then when I lose the beans half the time the wip goes to collect dust.

9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written! I try to write every day, even if it's just one sentence! Here's something I updated from the NHL AU today!

Buck’s much less self destructive now, thank you team mandated therapy and a bit of heartbreak, but he still has a big personality. He’s got the kind of personality that used to land him on Don Cherry’s shit list before he was finally kicked off Hockey Night in Canada for being a racist old fuck. But, that personality of his means he’s the kind of guy who the Kings marketing team loves because he’s down for basically anything they throw at him. 

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics? I tend to find a couple of songs that match the vibe I'm going for or that really inspire me and then listen to those on repeat.

13. How much planning do you do before writing? Answered here

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters? Usually song lyrics! Sometimes a title comes into my head out of nowhere, but usually I end up searching for a lyric that feels right.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic? I learned all about the best sunrise views at the southern rim of the Grand Canyon for there ain't no turning back! It made me really want to go to see the sunrise there, even more than I already wanted to before!

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs. This is from my NHL AU! In the fic Buck is Canadian and when they go to Canada on a road trip Buck has to scope out a Tim Hortons immediately.

It would be a lie to say that as soon as they landed in Ottawa Buck went to Tim Hortons, because they landed at 11:45, only a couple of hours after a win in Buffalo. It’s been a long and cold east coast trip - they’re on the road for almost 10 days for this one and Ottawa is the third to last stop.  It wouldn’t be a lie to say that the first thing Buck did when he woke up in their hotel was to jump out of bed, wake Eddie up in the bed next to him, and drag him to the Tim Hortons next to the hotel.  And listen, Buck knows that objectively Timmies is just fine. It isn’t bad, it’s just not actually good either. But he’s a Canadian boy, he grew up on Timbits after practice with Maddie and hanging out in the Tim Hortons parking lots during high school, at least for the couple years he was around before moving to Kitchner to play juniors. Tim Hortons will always have a special place in his heart.

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why? Yeah, it was a scene that I wrote really early in the writing process and by the time I finished the fic the scene just didn't fit the vibe. I ended up using bits of it in another fic though, so it wasn't all a waste!

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)? I try to find a natural stopping point, but typically I don't write chaptered fics. I think of my 149 on Ao3 only like 15 of them are chaptered, maybe less.

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing? I've made myself WEEP while writing and weep again while rereading later.

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why? I was a little nervous to share it hurts to hope for more because it was a really important fic to me (and really personal to me in some ways). I didn't want people to hate it because it felt so close to my heart.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.) I don't think I'll ever finish this fic so I'll share a bit here. When I saw on the fandom wiki that Eddie and Buck were actually probably the same age (1991/1992) I started a fic that's a snippet of each of their lives at the same time period. This is from the Eddie - 18 section.

There was a little plus sign on three separate pregnancy tests. Eddie rests his head on the bathroom counter, hunching over from where he’s sitting on the edge of the bathtub in Shannon’s bathroom. To her credit, Shannon looks like she’s holding it together more than he is. He was leaving for basic in a month and a half, she was supposed to be moving out of state for college in two.  Eddie took a deep breath, then another, before looking up at Shannon again. Her eyes were red rimmed, but otherwise she looked composed. He pushed down the fear that was threatening to crawl out of his chest, up his throat, and out of his mouth and instead said, “Whatever you want to do, I’ve got your back.” “I want to keep it,” Shannon said after a beat.  “Okay, then we keep it,” Eddie reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. “What do we do now?” “I have no fucking idea,” Shannon half laughed, half sobbed. Eddie stood up and wrapped her in a hug, holding her to his chest. 

Fan Fic Writer Asks

[nieithryn]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? These days, especially in this fandom, it's usually the relationships between either a friend's muse and the character, or another of my muses and a character. But looking at some of my main kiddos, or my OCs? I write characters that embody something that fascinates me. Frequently it's a new take on strength through adversity, or the reforging of the self after trauma. Sometimes it's something I identify with deeply, like Mace and Quinlan's struggle with the Dark from a young age. Or Yularen being willing to do bad things for the greater good as he sees it. Or Cody being a protective big brother who can't always protect his brothers. And sometimes, just because it seems fun, like with Zam!

is there anything you don’t like to write? There definitely are, though they're rare. Few and far between, aside from the obvious hard no's of various kinds. I'll write almost anything if a partner and I have enough chemistry. But some of the things I'm less comfortable with are crossovers (never been quite sure why, fandom AUs are fine, but crossovers I struggle with), true crack, and angst or smut without some kind of purpose or plot. I love me some angst, but I need the comfort after, unless I'm writing a symbolic unhappy ending for some reason. There's a few muses I have for whom that would be appropriate or canon compliant, but otherwise the angst needs a gentle comfort after or some reason.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? Basically anything else! I'm pretty flexible, if my partner is interested I'll do damn near anything tbh. I love hurt-comfort especially, but I love me some good canon divergent "what ifs" and alternate takes on how characters meet or even hook up. It's fun sometimes to see how a complicated relationship can go so many different ways, where along the forks they might have gone different directions. I love writing the inbetween moments canon never shows us, because there's never enough time to. The ways those inbetween scenes might affect entire relationships, or should have. Honestly, give me all those little bits inbetween.

how do you come up with headcanons? Usually headcanons develop from my analysis of whatever canon I accept for my muse, sometimes from small facial or body language tells during a panel/scene, sometimes by extrapolating from something they say or are described to do. But sometimes it's actually extrapolating from their relationships with other characters, both the muses of my partners and the people they interact with canonically. You can tell a lot about a character by how they interact with loved ones, for instance.

do you write in silence or do you play music? This depends on the ADHD mood of the day. Most days, I have 1-3 songs on repeat to become such a smooth background I can write without silence, but not get distracted by lyrics or the instrumentation. But some days, I need complete and absolute silence because any noise will distract me and the replies will never happen. Oh the joys lol.

do you plan your replies or wing them? Kinda both, and it usually depends on the muse the reply is for. Some I can plot out really well, or get so excited to write that I spend hours plotting the right reply. And some either flow so naturally I can wing it, or unexpectedly just decide the plotted reply isn't the vibe of the moment when I'm actually writing, and off we go to the races!

do you enjoy shipping? Oh hells yes, absolutely. Romantic, platonic, absolutely I love shipping. In the purely romantic sense, while many of my muses over my time RPing are demisexual, I am always down to give them partners, and in platonic senses, family and friends and found family are just. So wonderful.

what’s your alias/name? Liz or Argent

age?  25

birthday? April 2nd

favorite color?  Dark Blue, Silver, Gold

favorite song? 

last movie you watched? 

last show you watched?  Uhhh Family Feud I think lol.

last song you listened to? Will The Circle Be Unbroken by Peter Hollens & Malukah (Honorary shout out to Baba Yetu as well bc they've been on a two song repeat lol)

favorite food?  Oooh hard choice. Steamer clams or steamed artichokes.

favorite season?  Autumn

do you have a tumblr best friend? I used to have a really close friend group on Tumblr I would've tagged, but many have since disappeared. Now it's @strcngered and I against the world, lol. Though @valorums/@prodijedi and @mayxthexforce are very very swiftly making it into that same level of vibe, so I'm rebuilding slowly but surely.

TAGGED BY: @valorums

TAGGING: Ohhhh just steal it, Callie snagged most of you anyway lol.

[everythingsinred]

for the ask game: 3, 26, 30

thanks for the ask!!

3. three songs you were recently obsessed with

this one is amazing and i have been playing it on repeat for like a month without getting sick of it!

theres also this one

i've been realizing lately that i tend to rly like dominic fike's songs

and lastly this one

it's really beautiful and so enthralling that i never even realize how LONG it is. also i watched little miss sunshine recently (this song is in it) and was reminded of how GREAT a movie that is <3 just good vibes all around

26. three favourite non-English songs

i have serbian citizenship so i have to represent here! (although we'll just say ex-yugo for the sake of simplicity and accuracy... i prefer to identify that way anyway despite the confusion that sometimes brings.)

this one is a classic! it's so fun to listen to and even more fun to sing along to

AND YET ANOTHER CLASSIC

i have loved this song for a rly long time. the title translates to "my life is switzerland", which is a metaphor, and not literal. my aunt asked me why i like this song so much because it didn't make sense to her that i would like a song i couldnt personally relate to. she, for one, "related" to this song bc shes a serb who moved to germany (close to switzerland...?) and considered it "her song". i didnt rly know how to explain to her that 1. she misunderstood the song entirely and 2. almost none of the songs i love apply to me personally

and for female touch there's this:

which is a cute and upbeat song <3 i tend to prefer this era of yugo music... new songs are hit or miss for me. i wanna listen to more music from serbia (and all ex-yu) but its kinda hard to get into it when i live in the us and am constantly surrounded by songs in english

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

simple enough, there's this

i (thankfully) dont relate to this song and it's not aspirational or anything so it wouldn't fit in any category or be used by me in a ship playlist. i just LOVE it so much! one of my favorite songs by her <3

also this one

i really like this... i dont have a comment and thus it doesnt fit in a category.

moving on...

ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITES. it's originally a balkan romani song that's gained popularity throughout the former yugo-countries. it has a sad story of being sung out of defiance by prisoners on the train from sarajevo to the jasenovac concentration camp, where the ustase murdered many serbs, jews, and roma (the exact number of ppl killed under the ustasa is not known after a long period of it being significantly downplayed and is subject to debate). that particular incident gives the song an extra sad flavor, but it's still a really beautiful song i love listening to. (i also apologize to anybody who knows more than me about the history of the song. i'm sure my description is minimal and could be expanded on)

thank u for asking, again! this was really fun <3

feel free to ask any more. i spend 20 hours a day listening to music so...

[bluebudgie]

Yelling about the one single rat shipping song I got up my sleeves.

You have been warned.

So I may have been obsessed with the Deus Ex OST for the past months. (As mentioned on several occasions.)

And there's that one particular song.

And I don't have any hard proof because somehow this specific memory is wiped but I could swear this song was at least a partial catalyst (no pun intended) in the whole shipping saga. It's just so spot on.

Got it in Petthri's playlist because quite frankly the largest chunk of the song fits him better -- it's... not sure if I'd call it upbeat necessarily, but it's... groovy (has anyone on planet earth used that word in the past 10 years) and has a certain bounciness to it. It's got that bright tone.

But where things get real is that section right before the song loops.

That part kicking in at 1:39. (I am not normal about it.) Those low synths, and I don't know how to properly explain this to you, but they fit Lahpp so perfectly. Like the overall "groove" of the song doesn't change, it keeps going like before, but suddenly it feels more... subtle. Keeping it low you know. And then two repeats of that melody later (1:57) the bright synth string instruments that were kinda wobbling in the background earlier kick in again, sort of "dancing" all over the rest of the elements? Almost a little overshadowing but still so in harmory with everything. Like. You know. A certain rat. And I think what really ties the two (synths? rats? both) together is the bass line that plays through the whole thing. Somehow it has elements of both, it's bouncy but... not in your face. (I wish I had something to say about the percussion as well but... other than "something something driving force" I haven't really associated anything in particular with it.)

I did say that most of the song is mostly giving off Petthri energy but I feel like even that aspect in itself is so fitting. Plus, you know, the bass line is there almost all song long... :)

I don't know man, I can spend literal hours listening to this and trying to fake-deep overanalyize every single little sound in this, but even if i didn't do that, the overall vibe of the entire thing is just so spot on for these two. This song is the Kaineng City night walk, and the holographic whale watching, and the trying out all the food stalls. It's just it.

-

And this post, my friends, is a prime example of why I try to stay away from music ask games lmao.

[meikostan]

It is literally impossible for me to shut up about vocaloid songs i like so i'm going to list a couple of songs and talk about why I like them so much and why you should like them too (to be updated continuously because once again I'll never shut up)

HONORABLE MENTION: The 13 minute, 64-song My Favorite Vocaloid Medley. I have had the lyrics to this beast memorized since I was 12 years old. It warms my heart to know that people are still making covers with this specific medley. I'll link to some of my favorites. Original song version UTAU medley (the only part i dislike is homokure's part idk why but it enrages me) The funny version NEKSM cover Abandoned UTAU cover Bonus: my playlist of each song from the medley in order

Tokyo Teddy Bear - Neru

Literally the song that got me into vocaloid in 5th grade. I was already aware of vocaloid and generally had positive feelings towards it because i had seen the World is Mine concert years before (it had blown my little 7 year old brain btw) but this song is the game changer. If you're a vocaloid fan you have probably listened to this song before so I won't spend too much time trying to pitch the song and instead talk about its impact on me. This bad boy has been with me for at this point nearly half of my life. It's one of the few vocaloid songs I listened to before I ever started learning Japanese (side note remind me to make a post about this too so I can share my numerous resources). Also quick shoutout to JubyPhonic for the line "ends justify the seams" in their english cover, fucking amazing. Anyway, this was also the song that cemented Rin as my favorite vocaloid in middle school (1, she has the range, 2, she's just like me fr <---suffering).

Honorable mention: Alfakyun's cover

2. 3年C組14番窪園チヨコの入閣 (Year 3 Class C No. 14 Kubozono Chiyoko's Joining of the Cabinet)

I have mentioned this before. Books do not make me cry. Songs do not make me cry. Movies have made me cry exactly once when I was 6 years old, and after that never again. This song is one of the few things to have ever made me produce genuine tears. You can tell how much I like it cause both this blog and my main's pfps are from this song. It's the ending, it gets me every time. But it's also the buildup of the actual song that makes the moment. It's hard for me to word exactly why, I've retyped and reworded this sentence many times. There's something about the contrast between the goofy dancing cats and how quietly Rin is singing. But also how, save for the students and cats, there is a near total lack of color (with of couse the bright orange being exclusive to Chiyoko and the cats). And how the song still has a kind of energy to it. I almost don't want to 'spoil' the ending but it's such a big part of why this song has the impact it does on me. Go watch the MV if you haven't yet, I'll wait... 3... 2... 1... ...Now do you get it?

3. The Beast - Spectacle-P (original video, not on spectacle-p's channel; this 2021 remake is, however, on their official channel)

You already know i'm a certified beasthead. There was a time in my life (which went on for more than a few months) where I would spend hours listening to various covers of this song on repeat. She means everything to me. Brief overview of the story: Singer (the beast) isolates themself in a tower of their own loneliness, when a human comes along and breaks down those walls so to speak (and then dies, badly). But now the beast realizes they do actually need human connection, and the song ends with them returning to society, waiting for the day they'll meet their loved one again. I think on some level I relate to the beast. I don't know how much of my isolation is self inflicted and how much is just a natural part of who I am. Maybe even the "natural" part is something that I just incorporated into myself, like the beast (who was formerly human).

Aside from the emotional impact of the lyrics, another reason I love this song so much is because of the composition, even divorced from the lyrics. A not insignificant portion of the covers I repeatedly listen to are literally just piano covers. It's so captivating and well made. I don't know if this is just because I have the original lyrics engraved into my skull or what but somehow even without words the song imparts the same bittersweet feelings.

Honorable mentions: Hinami Mei's cover My The Beast playlist of every iteration of The Beast that I can find One time I remade The Beast with cat meows + oboe + piano

4. Monochrome Shangri-la - MASA Works DESIGN

Definitely not the first song you think of when Masa comes to mind. This song is less overtly dark as his other works, being based off of Kenji Miyazawa's 1934 novel Night on the Galactic Express (銀河鉄道の夜), a pretty widely known and loved novel. This isn't even the only vocaloid song to be based on it - sasakure.UK's "For Campanella" comes to mind. This is also the reason I actually read the book (well, read part of and then finished via audiobook for the daily listening challenge.) But yeah, no gore or necrophilia or anything, just fun times on the space train and then also Campanella dies.

To me the song at times feels intentionally overwhelming, veering from a fun bouncing energy to the sense that suddenly everything is happening at once. Or maybe just being overwhelmed by the "many colored sky", like through your journey in space you're just hit with sight after sparkling sight. It is, after all, "just you, our dreams, the stars, and me". The loss of Campanella (as implied through the lyrics, though he's never actually named) transforms this into a much more frantic feeling.

5. No One Likes a Wallflower - MonochroMenace

I need you to drop what you're doing and listen to this song right fucking now. I think it may be my favorite engloid song. Literally this rocks so hard, there was a point in time where I listened to it multiple times daily for a month straight. Which may be a little surprising considering it only came out like 4 months ago. It's catchy, has an awesome MV, and the lyrics are fun (and honestly kind of call me out x) ) Despite that it doesn't ever cross into being actually mean-spirited toward the people being described (ie, people who prefer to sit by the sidelines in a party, or people who feel forced into doing so). It hasn't been a long enough time for me to say that this is life changing like the other songs listed but genuinely I have been so obsessed with this song that if I don't recommend it here I'll explode. Badly.

[continuing-studies]

Go to Asia with your family: Today was a good day

Since departing with a baby and a toddler on a three month journey far away from home, a lot of people have been asking my partner and me what it's like to do all this traveling with two small kids. It's not just our friends asking. We've often gotten the same questions from people we've met while we're out and about wearing our kids on our bodies, carrying all their stuff, and doing whatever we've decided to do that day.

Like most aspects of having children, traveling with them is.... different. For a start, as two working people, neither of us is used to spending the whole day with our kids. As troubling as this may sound, that was actually what I was the most worried about before the trip. In Berlin we rely heavily on daycare to store positive parenting energy that can then be discharged in the afternoons and evenings when we see our daughter for the first time in 7 hours.

Turns out, spending every day together has mostly been really fun (phew). Looking after a 2 1/2 year-old and her baby brother all day is still a lot of work. The thing is, the hard parts really aren't that much different whether we're at home or somewhere else in the world. So while each day for us still typically includes its fair share of little kid problems, we've still been enjoying a lot of what travel typically has to offer. If you are the type of person who likes the experience of traveling (we both are, not everyone is and that's okay too!), doing it with your kids is just another thing about your life that changes when you have them.

This next post talks about the experience coming to terms with that realization while on a beautiful island in Thailand. Be sure to read until the end for the true story of what happened at the end of one of our beach days last month. I think it sums everything up quite nicely.

Sunday 12 February 2023

Koh Lanta

The great sage Ice Cube dedicated one of the most famous hip hop songs in history to the importance of appreciating when one has had a truly good day.  A lesson to live by — especially when one’s days consist of looking after small children and all of their attendant hopes, dreams, and physical needs.

Going on a beach vacation with kids has necessitated coming to a new understanding of the word “relaxation”.  To begin with, Zara and I aren’t really used to taking trips where the goal is do nothing.  Before kids, it was common for us to fill a weekend or 5 day or 10 day trip with as many highlights as we could comfortably (and sometimes not-so-comfortably) see during the time available.  Maya slowed us down a bit, but not that much if we are being honest.  On the trips we've taken since she was born, we were consistently going on some adventure or another almost every other day.  Partly out of circumstance, both of our trips back to the US with only one child have featured significant to-ing and fro-ing, as we try to pack in as much time with family and friends and other special people as possible.  And the first month of this trip was like the Pakistan version of those visits to the US.

So as much as we were looking forward by the end of January to the promise of our month on this very relaxing island, I think it took us a few days to really come down.  The same may well have been true for Maya and Camino.  What I can say is that few things feel less conventionally relaxing to an adult than feeling irritable while cajoling a misbehaving toddler through a succession of beautiful and interesting places where you can’t stop thinking about how you really should be having a better time.  For all the heroes out there who cast dirty looks at parents struggling to manage their kids in public situations, I can guarantee that no one is having a worse time than the parent who is the object of such foolish and undiscerning scorn.  

After a few days of feeling this frustrating dynamic repeat itself (minus the dirty looks — people here are nice), I think a few things happened.  First, I asked myself if I really wanted to be the person I was seeing myself become.  Toddlers need boundaries, but at the same time I knew that we had to find an outlet for Maya’s physical energy that would be more fun than getting annoyed over and over at her frequent testing of limits.  Second, I think we had to discover a good routine here.  We started doing some "yoga" on the beach in the morning, which involved some actual yoga and a lot of redirected toddler energy, but overall it set a good tone for the day.  Hanging out at the beach and doing yoga were two things that I was looking forward to about being on this island before we came here.  Each day spent without doing yoga and without enough beach time therefore made me feel as if I was missing out, further fueling my cycle of being a grumpy papa on vacation.  

Finally, I think it dawned on Zara and me that we had to accept the pace of this trip for what it is.  I spent the first few days here feeling various additional levels of FOMO from looking around at all the interesting places to see on this island that would be either impractical or impossible to explore with our children at their current age.  The best way to get around Koh Lanta is via motorbike, which plenty of families do but is not really something that we have a desire to try.  We needed to acknowledge that against all of our previous traveling impulses, we would have to be okay with not doing as much on this trip and just be a little bit more strategic about what we do want to see. 

Which brings me back to Ice Cube.  Since adjusting our expectations of what we will manage to see and do while we’re here, we’ve discovered more of the charms of Khong Klong than ever.  On Friday (maybe it was Friday?) we decided that our big adventure would be to walk slightly further down the beach to a slightly different beach bar with slightly different loungers and hammocks, affordably priced food and drinks, and all of the other key features of just about every beach bar in Koh Lanta.  Zara had spotted this one a few days earlier after yoga and noted that the abundance of umbrellas would make it a good place to try if we wanted to go for a full day at the beach.  So we left in the morning with all of our beach stuff in hand, and a plan to stay out as long as we were all still having a good time.  I brought Maya’s backpack so she would have a place to take her nap in the middle of the afternoon. We prepared as many things for both Maya and Camino as we could possibly think of.  And I gotta say it was a good day!

Maya is a lot of fun right now at the beach.  She’s really into her sand toys, and loves filling the bucket with anything from sand to rocks to water to, naturally, a combination of all three.  She also really likes going into the water with us, and so far it’s been a good place to teach her about some important boundaries.  It would be interesting if there were any scientific information on how many times various guidelines about safety must be repeated to a child between the ages of 2 and 4 for them to reliably internalize it.  But it’s been cute and reassuring to hear the way that Maya, who is repeating everything right now, repeats lessons like “watch out for rocks in the water!” and “only with mama and papa in the water!” to herself even when I am not putting her on the spot.  In all, the combination of perfect sea temperatures and Maya’s general willingness to take safety guidance has made going into the ocean together a great experience that we can share.  When I’m lucky, after we’ve been in the water for a while Maya will go play with her sand toys on her own and I can submerge my entire body in the waist-high shallows of the water while watching her from a distance.  I keep hearing that parenting does get easier.

We went on like this for the entirety of Friday (?) afternoon - me getting into the water with Maya, us playing in the sand together, me washing off again in the ocean and relaxing while she busies herself with sand, us going into the water together again, walking back eventually to Zara after I’ve had enough and then letting them repeat the process together after a while.  We had managed to score a great home base on two loungers underneath an overhang, where we were fully shaded until the sun started to dip over the western-facing sea in the mid-afternoon and gradually chased us back.  All day we ordered a succession of fruit shakes and pad Thai and had a nice view of the comings and goings of this interesting beach.  Camino, for his part, seemed to have an enjoyable day lying in the shade while playing with sensory toys and getting his bare body cooled off with water every hour or so.  He got to go in the ocean a couple of times too.  Like his sister, he seems to really enjoy water.

That night I brought Maya back from the beach far past her bedtime, carrying both her and the backpack (why?) and also pushing our stroller.  Zara had gone home earlier with Camino, wearing him home in the wrap after he’d had some trouble going to sleep.  Maya and I had stayed late at the place we had wandered to for dinner, running around with Nola and Juno and the nice Swedish-American kids that we met on the beach earlier that same day.  By the time we walked up the hill to Pinky it was almost 21:30 and I was tired physically from carrying Maya and the stuff home for almost 20 minutes, but lifted by the adrenaline of a day where almost everything went right.  We read books and had a nice bedtime together. 

The next morning we continued our beach routine and had another really lovely time under the shade of a banyan tree at Meeting Point, the closest beach spot to us at the opposite end of Klong Khong.  In the evening, we went back to the beach to get some barbecued tuna.  We let Maya roam naked on the beach for awhile as she played with her toys.  We ate at a table in the sand.

At some point I stood up and saw what looked to be a small brown turd.  I immediately thought the worst, but Zara confidently reassured me that it was not from Maya.  She pointed toward the three dogs from one of the beach bars that were running around.  Both of our stress levels were starting to rise with the sound of Camino fussing from again being overtired.  It must have been one of the dogs, she insisted.   Zara said she was sure Maya hadn’t pooped on the beach.  I thought it unwise to push back any further.  

Clearly not fully sure of herself, Zara went to ask Maya if she needed to make poo poo.  It was at this point that Maya pointed back in the direction of the turd and Zara’s adamant denial was overridden by the rapid realization that Maya really had pooped on the beach.  She came back and told me the news.  I tried not to gloat about being right.  I was busy soothing Camino, so she was the one who had to use Maya’s toys to clean the turd from the sand.

Parenting.  Sometimes you have a great day and sometimes your kid takes a poo on the beach.  Sometimes, these two things happen in the same 24 hours.

What better metaphor exists for the experience of having small children?

[j2memories]

TV Line article (April 13th 2022)

Jensen Ackles Talks Directing Jared Padalecki on Walker and the Episode's Many Supernatural Nods (Kansas!)

By Vlada Gelman / April 13 2022, 1:55 PM PDT

Having spent 15 seasons together on Supernatural, the men who used to go by Dean and Sam Winchester almost didn’t even need full sentences when Jensen Ackles stepped behind the camera of Jared Padalecki’s current CW series Walker.

“It was very nice to be back with someone who I’ve got such an incredible shorthand with, which we’ll always have,” Ackles tells TVLine. “You don’t lose something like that. Spending 15 years building that up, that’s never going to go away. So that was fun. And being able to direct him in such a quick way… I think some of the other cast were kind of like, ‘Wait, what was that note? Did you just reference a movie and you’re now changing your tone?’ So those kind of things were a lot of fun for he and I to play with.”

In addition to marking an off-screen reunion between the former castmates, the episode (airing this Thursday at 8/7c) also features a Kansas performance of “Carry On Wayward Son” (aka the unofficial Supernatural theme song), as well as plenty of other references to the pair’s long-running drama.

Below, Ackles discusses the nods to the Winchesters that he snuck into the hour, the prank he pulled on Padalecki and whether he’ll make an on-screen appearance on Walker.

TVLINE | What was it like working with Jared again, but for the first time on something where you aren’t in the world of Supernatural and he’s not playing Sam Winchester?

I feel like if I ever get on screen with Jared, we will instantly fall into those shoes. So it was a good thing that I wasn’t actually sharing the screen with him, allowing him his space to be this new character, which was a lot of fun to watch. Because not only do I know him as Sam, but I also know Jared very, very well, and I’ve probably had to stare at his face more than most people on this planet, and I’ve seen all the idiosyncrasies, the facial expressions and the reactions and everything that he does. So none of that was very new for me. It was just kind of a variation on a theme…

And we had some fun on set, probably more than I think the rest of the cast was used to having. And this is one thing that Jared and I kind of laughed about. I was like, “Man, it’s amazing that all the jokes that we repeated for 15 years are now landing on fresh ears. We have a whole new audience! This is amazing!” [Laughs]

TVLINE | When the show first premiered, it took me a minute to wrap my head around the fact that Jared was now playing a dad to two high schoolers. So I was curious if there was anything that surprised you or something new that you learned about Jared, seeing him as this new character, seeing him in this new capacity in a new show?

I mean, that’s the thing, I spent a lot of time with Sam Winchester, but I spent more time with Jared Padalecki. I know him as a father, I know him as a brother and as a son and a dear friend. So I’ve seen him play these roles in real life. So to see him just kind of translate that to on-screen stuff, it was no stretch for me. It was just another facet of the person that he is, and he’s really good at it. So seeing him bring that to the on-screen character just seemed very natural in my eyes.

TVLINE | I feel like there must be a story about filming the blindfolded obstacle course scene with Jared.

I mean, look, I could have really like brought out the big guns for that, but I do know the guy and I do love the guy, and I was like, “I don’t know that this is the kind of torture I want to put him through.” [Laughs] Honestly, I’d do a whole episode about just him trying to make it through an obstacle course. I’d watch that. But it was a hot day, Jared sweats like crazy, and it would have made for a miserable shoot. So I actually tried to make it as doable as possible and took it easy on him. I got him in other ways. I had a life-size bear come to life and attack him in one of the scenes.

TVLINE | How did the Kansas performance come to be a part of the episode? Was that a make-good from them not being able to be in the Supernatural series finale?

Yeah, the planets kind of aligned as they kind of fell apart at the end of Supernatural. But they kind of aligned for it to happen, and everybody kind of looked at each other like, “Wait, can we actually do this? Can we make this happen?” They asked if it was something that I’d be cool with, and I was like, “Absolutely! Let’s 100 percent do that! What we tried to do two years ago, let’s absolutely try and do that now.” Kansas was totally game and just totally great and awesome about it. The crew was super excited to be all of a sudden shooting a rock concert. I think I’ve got some behind the scenes footage of me literally dancing and singing at the top of my lungs behind the director’s monitors during one of the takes, so I’ll have to post that whenever the episode comes out.

TVLINE | Were there any other nods to the show that you included in the episode that maybe I missed or that were more subtle?

Some very subtle ones. I don’t know if you noticed, but I kind of opened up on a plate of bacon being slapped down. Very Dean Winchester. There’s also a very familiar green cooler that gets brought into a scene, and that was the actual cooler that Sam and Dean sat on and drank out of and sat in the back of the Impala for 15 years. I had to massage the dialogue a little bit. I think Mitch [Pileggi] looked at it and he was like, “What kind of heathens would…?” I don’t think that was in the script.

There was a few others. I have to go back and remind myself, but there was definitely some verbiage, too, that was thrown in. [For one scene], we needed a shadowy figure of some sort, and I said, “Hey, this is the perfect opportunity to slide myself into the episode.” [Laughs]

TVLINE | I know you’ve been very busy with The Boys and The Winchesters, but has there been any discussion about doing an on-screen role on Walker? And if so, what type of character would you like to play?

There has been some talk about it, but the possibility has been earmarked, we’ll say, until things kind of slow down with my schedule — if they do. I’m kind of over committed as it is right now. So we kind of just said, “Well, down the road, we’ll keep an eye out.” And if I was to ever do it, I don’t know if it makes sense to do something completely opposite of what he and I did for 15 years together, or if it makes sense to lean into that a little bit, have some familiarity there. I don’t know. We’ll see if we get to cross that path. I wouldn’t be surprised, also, if somebody comes knocking and says, “Hey, they want to do a Supernatural short-order reboot or movie or something,” and then that’s the next time you see Jared and I together.

TVLINE | I don’t think anyone will be complaining about that.

[Laughs] We’ll see.

Link to the article

[jdgo51]

Bountifully

Today's inspiration comes from:

Encouraging Words for a Discouraging Word

by Dr. David Jeremiah

"I will sing to the LORD, because He has dealt bountifully with me." — Psalm 13:6

"'Years ago, managers at a Houston airport noticed their customers had lodged many complaints about long waits at baggage claim. Their first solution was to hire more baggage handlers in order to make the loading and unloading process as efficient as possible. And it worked. The average wait time at each baggage claim was only eight minutes. Very fast for the industry. Yet the complaints persisted. People were still angry about waiting so long to receive their bags.

The managers then commissioned a study and realized the wait times at their airport were within industry norms; their customers were waiting a normal amount of time. Still, the number of complaints alarmed them.

Looking into the issue more deeply, the airport managers realized it took most flyers only a single minute to walk from their gates to baggage claim. Once they arrived, they spent an average of seven minutes waiting for their bags. Those seven minutes seemed to be the root of the problem.

As an experiment, the managers arranged things so that passengers had to walk a longer distance between their gates and baggage claim. After the change, most people walked eight to ten minutes and found their bags waiting when they arrived.

The complaints stopped.

As one researcher noted: “Americans spend roughly thirty-seven billion hours each year waiting in line. The dominant cost of waiting is an emotional one: stress, boredom, that nagging sensation that one’s life is slipping away. The last thing we want to do with our dwindling leisure time is squander it in stasis.”1

Or, as the old song says, “The waiting is the hardest part.”2

David knew much about the pain of waiting. He lived for almost ten years in the terrible tension between God’s promise to make him king and Saul’s desire to make him dead. David had killed a giant and become a hero — but he had to live the life of a fugitive. He was an anointed king — but he had to live like a beast of the fields. He was desperate.

Out of the pain in his heart, he cried out to the Lord. And out of that furnace of his desperation came the incredible words of Psalm 13:

How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart daily?

How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; Enlighten my eyes, Lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest my enemy say,

“I have prevailed against him”; Lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved.

But I have trusted in Your mercy; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

The waiting is the hardest part.

Our Struggle When God Delays

On those occasions when you struggle with God’s timing, it’s good to know these feelings didn’t originate with you. Not only did David express the feelings you’ve had, but he did so repeatedly. Read through the psalms, and you’ll find a number of them like the one we’re exploring in this chapter. So many of them begin with a sigh and end with a song.

But in life, you can’t take in the song without letting out the sigh.

Just as a song has a refrain, this psalm’s sigh has one — a recurring phrase that always comes back around. This time the chorus or refrain is repeated four times: “How long?”

That’s right, David was singing the blues. He was overwhelmed with a sense of the permanence of trouble. Trouble springs up when we want it least, seems to have no solution, seems to mock our most diligent efforts to lead a happy and peaceful life, and finally consumes our last ounce of patience. And David, much like you, finally lifts his eyes to heaven in exasperation and says, “How much longer, O God? How much longer?”

Aren’t you grateful for the psalms that are such remarkable illustrations of honest prayer? I don’t always pray with total honesty, and allow me to venture a guess that you don’t either. Your friend at work brushes by you at the copy machine. “How’s it going?” he asks with a smile. And you say, “I’m doing fine,” or you might even say, “Couldn’t be better.”

But wait a minute! Didn’t you have an argument with your spouse this morning? Didn’t you just now catch a lecture from your boss? So you just told your friend a whopper, and you don’t even think about it. How many times have you and I both done that?

Well, doing that causes damage to relationships with your friends because they have no idea what is really going on in your life. But we have much less success posturing before God. He is with you during the argument with your spouse. He is saddened by the confrontation with your boss. And when you force a smile into your prayers and say, “I couldn’t be better, Lord!” He is again saddened. He knows what you’re going through, and He has been looking forward to talking it over with you. He’d be much happier with an exasperated “How long, Lord?” than with your forced smile. "'

Continue reading on the blog…

Excerpted with permission from Encouraging Words for a Discouraging Word by Dr. David Jeremiah, copyright David P. Jeremiah.

[2ndstringloser]

Being Different and You're the Heart analysis

So like most bylers I am totally in awe of the paralellism found in the painting scene and mikes monologue scene that @causeineedu pointed out and analyzed recently. The key element that they had discovered was that by layering the two music tracks from these scenes on top of one another, it creates a full and complete sounding song. However while listening to the layered tracks for literally hours I managed to come up with my own interpretation for specifically the way that these two scores, both separately and together, manage to paint the story of Mike and his feelings for Will and El over the years.

Separately, the two tracks are present in the two most climactic moments of Mike's story in Volume 2. They are the peaks of his two most meaningful relationships, they represent Will and El respectively. Being Different is longer, more consistent, and much more calming in the sounds that are used. While You're the Heart is incredibly quiet for most of its duration, slowly building to a climax before quickly disipating as a synth track creates a sense of anxiety as it builds in the background.

Here's a picture of the sound map for both songs (being different on the top and You're the Heart on bottom) so you can sort of see what i mean when i say those two descriptions instead of just trusting me.

But when you listen to the songs layered on top of one another with the idea that each song represents their respective relationships, you can sort of envision a storyline taking place as the song progresses.

First, when you layer the songs by aligning the endings (which is the way that op of the original theory did), Being Different plays for almost a full minute before You're the Heart starts. Wills song plays for longer in the beginning because it's true to real life, Mike knew Will for many many years before El came into his life. This song is longer because this relationship has more history.

Then, when You're the Heart finally does begin to play it remains almost totally unnoticeable for another forty seconds before the musical elements of this track start to peek through the consistent white noise that finds itself behind Being Different. El comes into Mikes life and is not suddenly the most important thing to him. (despite what a certain monologue would like us to think ahem) It is shown repeated thoroughly in season one that Mike's first and only goal is getting Will back. Will is at the forefront of his mind so even though El is present, Mike's focus remains on Will and the song we hear most is Being Different.

Around 1:45 the music of El's track finally becomes noticeable, but still relatively quiet compared to the way Will's track overwhelms. In season two Mike, as he always does, has one storyline concerning El, and another Will. While it's important to him that he gets El back and he is constantly making an effort to find her, once Will is in danger he does not hesitate to spend all hours of every day making sure Will is okay. Mike is now learning just how fond he is of both of these people, two people he really wants in his life, but overall most of his time in this season is spent with Will, keeping Will safe. Will's track overpowers this section of the music, but El is still here. El matters to Mike now, and it is not unnoticed.

At 2:56 an ominous synth track starts to play a few layers deep in Youre the Heart. It's a track that comes on slowly but honestly feels out of place within the rest of the otherwise calming music. It's sort of a new division between the songs, pushing its way in to show that they shouldn't be able to coexist. Mike feels as though his relationships with these two people cannot coexist, he pushes Will away in season three because that's what he believes to be necessary in order to keep his new teenage relationship working and stable.

But obviously this is not sustainable for Mike, because the two people he tries to keep separate end up closer to each other than he is with either of them, Will and El are states away together and Mike can't very well keep them in two different worlds anymore. The dissonance created by this synth track starts to become more and more until its all very disorienting. Both El and Will's tracks are quite loud at this point. Both people mean so much to Mike, he cannot and will not choose between them because he needs them both. However, with the way he has them configured in his life right now something isnt right, there is a dissonance happening, something is out of place. To be straight forward with the metaphor: there's synth music playing where synth music doesn't belong. Mikes romantic feelings for El are the synth music.

If you were to remove that slowly building synth track from You're the Heart suddenly it blends with Being Different so much better. Suddenly Mike can have both of these people in his life without it feeling overwhelming or scary.

And finally, the two songs come to a beautiful close simultaniously becuase Mike has lived a life with Will but no El, and he has also lived a life with El but no Will, but he never wants to live without either of them ever again, because they are the most important relationships in his life no matter how they exist.

Thank you for reading.

(also hey disclaimer dont come at me saying im reaching or that this probably isnt real uhhhhhh i dont fuckin care im the one who just spent three hours listening to a four minute song over and over again so shut up and let me be bonkers)

[quackiseok]

— sweet dreams

feral boys x gn! reader || headcanons

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing

summary : the feral boys' reaction to you falling asleep in their embrace or on them!

a/n : AYY HELLO!! i'm so sorry for the lack of content these last three days OTL but here's something i wrote, hope you guys liked it! ♡

song to listen to while reading :

— DREAM

let's say dream has just finished recording for his upcoming manhunt video and it was a chilly night

well, the solution? a gun CUDDLES!!! ♡

he's a sucker for cuddles and you love cuddling with him too, so why not?

the two of you plopped yourselves on the bed, warm blankets wrapping the two of you together

the first plan was to watch a movie, but the two of you ended up talking to each other and leaving the movie unwatched

he share many stories with you, letting you rest your head on his chest whilst listening to him. he would also put an arm around your shoulders to keep you warm and close to him 🥺

as time passes by, it was getting late. you felt really safe around dream, especially if you were in his embrace

your eyelids grew heavier each time you tried fighting it off and focus on dream's voice, which leads to you unconsciously falling asleep on his chest

after a few seconds talking, dream would realize your sleeping figure in his embrace and OHMYGOD

HE WANTS TO FREAK OUT SO BAD BECAUSE HOW CUTE YOU WERE—

lowkey scared that he might somehow crush you or something because you're the tiny little spoon in the current situation

man, he had to refrain himself from taking a picture of you sleeping in his embrace

and the fact that you felt safe enough to fall asleep in his arms makes him tear up (in a positive way!) 🥺

would slowly move you to a more comfortable position and carefully pull you closer to his chest, making sure that he doesn't wake you up

[hugs you tightly]

ALSO just like any other times, mans would secretly mark the date in his phone's calendar because OHMYGOD????? this date better be stamped on history books

after getting into a slightly more comfortable position, dream would just adore you— even only from looking at you, his serotonin level will always go 📈📈

would 100% whisper i love you's or other sweet words while looking at you

mans just smiling to himself, thinking about how much he loves you and adores you— and how lucky he is to have you in his embrace 🥺💞

after some time, he would start to drift away too and ending up sleeping while hugging you tightly in his arms 🥺

— GEORGE

the two of you were sleepyheads

like at the weekends? both you and george would just lazily lay on the bed and fall asleep together regardless what time it was

even at noon? NAP TIME

and today was one of those lazy days

you were laying your head on his lap, which leads to him to his habit of playing with your hair while joking around with you and talk about random things

he just absolutely adores your fluffy hair 🥺

he'd also learn how to braid hairs from youtube just so he could braid yours 🥺

AND SURPRISINGLY HE'S SO GOOD AT BRAIDING HAIRS 💞💞

the way he caressed your head was so comforting, which leads you to feel sleepy. you still wanted to talk with george so you tried fighting off the sleepiness but ended up falling asleep anyways

after not hearing a respond from you, he realized you fell asleep.

WAIT, YOU FELL ASLEEP ON HIS LAP AND THE WAY YOU LOOKED SO ADORABLE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL—

a blush crept up on his cheeks as he looked at your sleeping figure on his lap

ohmygod he absolutely adores this and 100% would plan more sleepy days with you just to see you fall alseep on his lap again

george would admire you shyly, his fingers still softly caressing your hair while making sure not to do it too hard since he doesn't want to wake you up 🥺

he looks at you > gets shy from how adorable you are and how much he loves you > look away > missing looking at you > back to the first step (put this cycle on repeat)

GOSH he just wants to pull you close to his embrace now but that's not possible to do since he doesn't want to wake you up ;(

as he secretly admires you, he would slowly feel sleepy too but he doesn't want to move you away from his lap

so this man right here decided to just sleep in a sitting position which he didn't mind too much since he could still lean his back on the stacked pillows

come on— he doesn't wanna ruin this adorable moment :( it's worth the back pain according to him 👍

and so with that, the two of you fell alseep peacefully 🥺💞

— SAPNAP

mans a whole ass tease @ you

mf would browse through hundreds of websites and collect the cheesiest jokes he can find to use them on you later 😳

also won't stop clinging on you for 24/7 but you don't mind since he's so adorable 🥺💞

and today was just the same like any other days, he clung on you and begged you to cuddle with him

how can you refuse such a sweet offer????

so here you are now laying on the bed with his arms around your shoulders, holding you close to him

the two of you would just joke and laugh at many things, just havin' a wholesome fun time 🥺

don't forget the fluffy blankets around the two of you (you adore soft blankets so sapnap bought you at least 3 blankets and you absolutely loved all three of them 🥺)

until at one point everything felt so comfortable that you didn't even realize you were drifting yourself to sleep

and the moment sapnap realized you fell asleep sweetly in his embrace?

[!(-?#?2@&&????? SCREAMS???? —NO, MAKE THE SCREAM SILENT SO IT WON'T WAKE YOU UP]

he can't help but let out a soft chuckle when saw your sleeping figure

oh man, he was gripping on the pillow tightly so that he doesn't lose control and pull you closer to him which could wake you up

100% gonna make you cuddle with him everyday until you fall asleep on him (mans just making it a routine now)

he would also have to refrain himself from squishing your cheeks while looking at you in awe 🥺💞

even though he's growing sleepy too, he won't give in so easily

like— hello??? a cutie pie just fell asleep in my arms, sleep can wait 🖐🖐

but then eventually he'll fall asleep anyways, but he swore he tried his best keeping his eyelids up and that's sweet 🥺

((would 100% unconsciously pull you closer and just hug you tightly in his sleep ♡))

— QUACKITY

we all know how much alex LOVES driving and mans really good at it (he knows what he's doing fellas)

especially with you 😳😳

the two of you would blast banger songs together while enjoying the road and the pretty view from the window 🥺

it was one of those afternoons again where the two of you went for a stroll with his car

both you and alex planned on only going for a short stroll, but ended up strolling around for almost 3 hours now

but neither of you cared, alex loves spending lots of time with you and same goes with you 🥺💞

the two of you wanted to get some fresh air for a bit after such a long drive, so you stopped by at the nearest field before driving back home

and man, the view was indeed beautiful

the two of you had moved to the back seat so he can get closer to you

as the two of you talked while watching the sun setting down, you started feeling a little bit sleepy

you shrugged it off at first and continued to talk with alex, but then you couldn't help but fall asleep with your head leaned on his shoulders eventually

and when he realized you has fallen asleep on his shoulders?

OH MY— HIS HEART WENT BRRRRRR BECAUSE OF HOW CUTE YOU ARE

definitely will plan on doing this in the furture but at home so he can just adore your sleeping figure for as long as he wants to

he has to drive back home but this moment is very important so he chose to stay there for at least the next 1 more hour 🥺💞

he just wants to kiss you on the forehead so bad but he's scared that he might wake you up :[

but then again, it was getting really late and he has to drive the two of you back home so he would carefully make you lay down on the back seat and he would put his jacket underneath your head as a pillow 🥺💞

and when the two of you arrived back home, he would carefully carry you back in and just cuddle you up for the rest of the night until he falls asleep too ♡

— KARL

karl jacobs has 2 moods : the wholesome mood and the cursed mood, no in betweens

he can either be very wholesome and send you the cutest hamster pics ever or just send you cursed, unexplainable images like macaronis boiled in gatorade

but even though he's in the cursed mood, his clinginess for you will stay the same ♡ (which you absolutely loved)

you loved both of his moods anyways since it's sweet and funny 🥺💞

today, he was feeling extra wholesome so he would just chill with you on the sofa in your matching frog hoodies and your head on his lap

((yes, he bought matching frog hoodies with you at christmas to wear them together 🥺👉👈))

the two of you would be watching cartoons, especially adventure time!! (it's superior cartoon, you can't change my mind)

then as time passes by, you felt your eyelids grew heavy but you tried fighting it back

yeah, you ended up falling asleep at the end 😔

karl noticed how you grew silent and when he checked on you only to see you sleeping on his lap?

yeah karl's never gonna leave his seat, 100%

mans just smiling to himself from looking at how cute you are in your oversized frog hoodie, asleep on his lap 🥺

GOSH this better happen frequently in the future because if not? he'll commit ARSON

he would try softly play with your hair, making sure his touches were soft so he doesn't wake you up

the cartoon is now long forgotten, his focus is just full on the sweetheart sleeping on his lap 🥺💞

he would constantly check on you and pull the blanket back up to your body if it moves back down, and make sure that he doesn't shift his legs too much because it might wake you up :(

will also try his best to not fall asleep because MAN, HE CAN'T JUST SKIP THIS HISTORICAL MOMENT

but he fell asleep anyways after holding back for around 40 minutes, which is impressive 😳

just like george, he doesn't mind falling asleep in a sitting position 👍 backpain = worth it

[quizzyisdone]

Ya'aburnee (يقبرني) | Russell Adler Oneshot

A/N: Hi, so I've been working on this little fic for awhile now, and I personally love it but it's also a bit dark. This was based around the lyrics of the song Ya'aburnee by Halsey. The word "Ya'aburnee" or يقبرني is from the Arabic language, which roughly translates to "May you bury me" and is meant to denote that you hope to die before a certain person because the thought of living without them is unbearable. I found the word while listening to that song and thought it was absolutely beautiful. (1.6k words)

Thank you to @gurlbye-1 for helping me out with the meaning of يقبرني. She's awesome and you should totally follow her <3

Warnings: Strong language, mentions of needles, hospitals, cancer, and children with cancer.

I get undertones of sadness When I think about the moments That I never got to spend with you I can't decide If I love you more at morning Or I love you more at night

Adler glanced up towards the clock that hung above his son's hospital bed. December 31st, 11:58. Just minutes away from 1974, and his son was sobbing, screaming and writhing in what must have been ceaseless, unbearable pain for the four year old. Adler's glanced down at his hand, the glow of the bedside lamp illuminating the small, delicate hand of his son, dripping with sweat and grabbing his own hand with a death grip. The contrast between their hands slightly amused, yet saddened Adler.

His hands were small, sickly, and fragile and the only scars to be found were from the many times his poor little hand had been poked and abused with an IV needle, whereas Adler's was heavily scarred, calloused, yet unmistakably healthy. These were the hands of a mindless killing machine who had managed to be domesticated somehow, and his poor little boy's were just so innocent. Those hands could do no wrong. There wasn't a mean bone in his frail body. Yet it was his life being siphoned from existence, not Adler's.

It's not fair.

His hands have killed more people than he can count and hurt countless more, but he doesn't have to suffer the way his son does. Adler's only punishment was the jagged scar etched into his cheeks, and that only brought on the occasional stares from people who didn't know him or his old job.

It should be me.

This has been their routine every night for the past few months, ever since the chemo stopped working and James entered end-stage. He spent most of the days asleep, barely able to open his eyes, but every night from about midnight to three in the morning he'd start screaming, the pain would finally wake him up long enough for three miserable hours. It seemed to have only been getting worse with each passing night.

Adler would hold his hand, occasionally offer words of encouragement, which at this point, felt empty. James wouldn't say much in reply, too engulfed in the tides of pain to utter more than a few words. But, whenever Adler came to the verge of tears, watching his only son slip away from the world in front of his eyes, James would always say the thing that would always make him burst into tears:

"I'm okay, daddy."

He wasn't okay, and it felt like no one in the world cared except for Adler. Not even the boy's own mother seemed to care, in Adler's eyes.

His mother, Farah, almost never saw their son nowadays. Too consumed in grief to help their son through his last days. He hated his wife for that. But Farah, ever the planner, had kept discussing funereal arrangements for their boy, which only led to a screaming match today when he had enough of it. Adler, ever the stubborn mule, still maintained that their son could get through this, unable to process the thought of his son dying. He was delusional, though, the cancer had already spread to his son's brain. Any day could be the last.

"Daddy." James grimaced, looking over to his dad.

"What's up, sport?" Adler smiled sadly, ruffling his boy's hair.

"Book." He whispered. Adler hummed, beckoning James to repeat what he said. "Book." He sniffled through tears.

"Which one?"

"Chawlotte's Web." The four year old gave a pained smile.

"I'm sorry, big guy, but mommy had to return that to the library last night."

"Oh." James quietly resigned. Silence rang through the room for a minute, only interrupted by his occasional sniffles and movement, until Adler glanced over, practically seeing the lightbulb light in his son's head. "Yellew?"

'Yellew' was a juvenile mispronunciation of 'Yeller' which was how code for his favorite movie to watch and favorite book to read, "Old Yeller". Why a four year-old would be obsessed with a story where the dog dies because he contracted rabies and his human companion shoots him dead because of it, Adler couldn't tell you.

Perhaps James, as young and innocent as he was, carried a certain fascination towards death, seeing as how he was on the brink of it. Unlike most four year-olds, perhaps he understood the finality of it, given his situation, maybe he accepted it, even if his own father couldn't.

"Okay." He smiled, standing up from where he sat and scooping James in his arms. Light. Like a fucking feather. Adler grimaced at how little effort it took to carry his son, a few weeks ago he was heavier than this. God, how quickly his boy was deteriorating.

He glanced at the clock, 12:03 AM.

"Happy New Year, pal." Adler whispered, kissing his son's forehead, to which James offered no response.

Sitting down in that beat up, stiff and uncomfortable hospital arm chair with his son cradled on his lap like an infant, Adler reached for the book that sat splayed across a mess of other children's book on the adjacent night stand.

Even before James was diagnosed, ever since he was born, Adler would read to his son before bed. It was a favorite routine of his, one that had led the boy to become as much of a book nerd as one could be at his age. Prior to the diagnosis, this was just a simple way to put James to sleep, one that Adler had liked for the gentle love such a routine had built. Nowadays, it was meant as a temporary escape for James, one that Adler loved and desperately clung on to, if to relive those days of simplicity for even a moment.

"We left at the beginning of chapter fifteen." Adler said. Great. He knew this book front to back -- this was the chapter where the dog died.

He began reading aloud, speaking the narration in his usual deep and rough voice but the dialogue in an accent and pitch that would match that of the character who was speaking, a little touch that James seemed to like. For this book, he'd put on a boyish western drawl for the main character, who was a young Texan boy named Travis.

James settled down quietly, only with the occasional little squirm. It was strange, normally he'd still be writhing around in Adler's arms, but perhaps he had experienced a brief moment of reprieve, or maybe the boy was just so enthralled in his father reading the book that he forgot his own pain.

Either way, Adler decided to think nothing of it and instead enjoyed the feeling of his son laying his head in the crook of his neck. He missed James' cuddles.

Within ten minutes and only two pages into the chapter, the boy had fallen dead asleep.

"Out like a light." Adler quietly chuckled, wrapping his arms around his son's back to pull him closer and quickly falling asleep, getting some much needed rest.

And I think we could live forever In each other's faces 'cause I Always see my youth in you And if we don't live forever Maybe one day we'll trade places Darling, you will bury me Before I bury you

~~~~~~~~~~

For the first time since the diagnosis, Adler slept soundly and without a single nightmare. For once, he finally woke up feeling rested and was only woken by the sound of Sims' voice.

"Mornin' sunshine." He whispered, laughing at the sight of Adler and James all tangled up in each other. How his battle-hardened and gruff best friend turned into such a kind father was beyond him. "Late night again?"

"Yeah." Adler said groggily as he stretched, his son still remained remarkably unbothered on his chest. "What're you here for?"

"Diane made you some breakfast this morning. Some sausage, hash browns and a few biscuits." Sims began unpacking some of the food, and Adler grimaced as he noticed how there were three portions, two adult sized and one child sized. "We thought Farah would be here."

"She doesn't visit anymore." He grumbled.

"Oh. Okay. Well, wake him up and I'll just have a second breakfast."

Adler nodded and lightly prodded James. whispering "Wake up."

No response.

His brows furrowed and he tried again, shaking his son a bit harder this time. Maybe he was sleeping really hard at the moment. "Come on, son."

No response.

"James. Wake up." Adler said, a bit sterner and louder this time.

No response.

"James, please." His voice cracked and he shook him harder now, nearly yelling. Sims quietly strode to the telephone, paging a nurse.

No response.

"James fucking wake up." Now Adler was yelling. He quickly rose from his seat, laying him down and feeling for his pulse, coming to the horrific realization that his son was unnaturally stiff and he could not feel the beating of his heart.

No response.

"James!" He screamed, gripping the corpse of his son for dear life. "Please wake up." Adler sobbed, holding his son in his arms, rocking himself back and forth as Sims grabbed his shoulder.

"He's gone, Russ."

"No he's fucking not." Adler slapped Sims' hand away, screaming. He held onto the corpse of his son, silently pleading to whatever higher power to bring him back. It wasn't fair. "I love him too much."

Take me instead.

"Russell!" Sims shouted back, such a display damn near moving himself to tears. When his friend glanced backwards, he lowered his voice, his tone much more sympathetic and kind. "He's gone."

And the loving leads to bleeding And your beauty is a blessing And I never got to tell you how I loved the way my eyes make yours look blue too

[lostinthewiind]

Piss Off Your Parents - Part 2

Ukai Keishin - Haikyuu

Synopsis: freshly turned 18, you want to prove to your parents that you aren’t a child for them to push around anymore. First, get a job at the local corner store. Second, use the store owner’s 26-year-old son with piercings and a cigarette addiction to piss your parents off. Third, accidentally fall in love.

Rating: Mature

Warnings: heavy/shameless flirting, provocative actions, dirty talk, aggressive-ish sexual advances, female!reader

Song → 18 by Anarbor

Previous →Part 1

Next →Part 3

“Too old for you, sweetheart.” 

Those words repeated in your head over and over again, pissing you off more than they probably should have. Even though Keishin had yet to explicitly tell you how old he was, you were already well aware that he was probably a good four or five years older than you at least. Him pointing out that simple fact was not what was grinding your gears—it was the way he had said it.

With that devilish smirk on his face, he had practically said it as if he were taunting you with it. The way he had shut down your question was like he was holding his superiority over you; he might as well have just laughed in your face and said, “You couldn’t have me even if you wanted to.”

It was awfully bold of him to assume something like that with his tone of voice, because you didn’t even want him . . . well, back then you hadn’t wanted him. Now was a different story, and even though you knew it probably wasn’t the best idea in the world, the blatant ‘you can’t do it’ that screamed at you in his dark brown eyes was more than enough to make you change your perspective. 

So now your mission was to wrap Ukai Keishin around your finger just to prove that you could. 

At first, you hadn’t been sure how to go about accomplishing said mission because Keishin was rarely at the shop at all, which was how you landed the job in the first place—to take over for him. So, you really only had a short window at the beginning of the day when he was leaving and in the evening when he was coming home, but he was usually in too much of a rush or too exhausted to even look in your direction, let alone give you the time of day to make him fall for you.

Nevertheless, you used the few minutes you were graced with each day to the fullest. 

Leaning against the counter, your eyes kept flickering to the clock above the counter and to the door that led to the back room and, in turn, the stairs up to Keishin’s apartment. After working at the store for a few weeks by now, you had come to learn Mrs. Sakanoshita’s and Keishin’s schedules pretty well and knew that Keishin was due to come down the stairs, grumbling about how he was running late, any second now.

Right then, almost as if on cue, you heard heavy footsteps stomping down the stairs and got ready for your morning routine. When the door opened and Keishin emerged with a granola bar stuffed in his mouth and a cup of coffee in hand, you were quick to greet him.

“Good morning.” You smiled as you perked up. 

“Goog morngnan,” his speech was mumbled over the entire granola bar in his mouth, but you caught the gist anyway. He barely paused to acknowledge your presence, his mind completely focused on getting out the door.

A smirk playing at the corners of your mouth, you leaned over the counter, cleavage on full display from your tank top and apron, which hung low on you, and gently grabbed his arm. “Will you be back later tonight or should I wait for you before locking up?” you asked.

Keishin just rolled his eyes at you. You asked him this every day, and every day he gave you the same answer. “Just leave when you’re done. I have keys to the store . . . just like I did yesterday . . . and the day before that.”

“Just checking.” You let go of him, but not before you let your fingertips ghost over his forearm. “Have a good day, Keishin.”

“Yeah, you too.” He never returned the sentiment by using your name as well, but you still persisted, hoping that he might change his mind one day. 

As he turned his back to you and headed out the door, you watched him leave. Although men who pretty much wore track suits exclusively were not usually your type, there was just something about the way Keishin’s ass looked in track pants that did it for you. As you wondered whether he was as nicely sculpted everywhere else—and whether it came from volleyball or if he worked out sometimes in secret—he had disappeared from sight. 

With your short-lived window of opportunity having come and gone, resulting in the same pathetic outcome as always, you sighed heavily and got back to work. As much as ogling the boss’ son was entertaining, you still wanted to keep your job because you did really like it, so you still had to actually get the job done. 

Like every other day, you spend your shift helping out customers, manning the front counter, and cleaning when cleaning needed to be done. The days were usually more or less the same, so by now you could predict when a heavy customer flow would hit—like around lunchtime and after work/school hours—and when the store would be dead, giving you time to take a break, eat some lunch, and get some chores done. 

Sometimes the days went by in the blink of an eye and sometimes they dragged on painfully slowly. Today was the former, probably because it was a Friday and the store tended to see a higher than normal customer rush in the afternoon when people stopped by on their way home to grab snacks and drinks for the weekend. 

Today, however, ended up being unusually busy, even for a Friday, and before you knew it, it was almost time for your shift to end and you still had quite a bit of shelves to restock. You were a little bummed about having to stay late on a Friday night, but you knew that if you went home you would just end up eating some leftovers in the fridge, taking a shower, and lying in bed, scrolling on your phone, until you passed out. Unfortunately, you didn’t have any exciting plans for the evening, so it wasn’t a hard decision to choose to stay later to get the work done instead of having to come in earlier on Saturday morning. 

With the radio playing in the background, like it always was in the evenings when the customer flow was practically nonexistent, you locked the front doors and worked through box after box, restocking the shelves and doing some of the remaining cleaning that you hadn’t been able to get done during the day.

Half an hour or so later, you heard a slight commotion from the front doors and instinctively looked up at the clock, noting the time. It was well past closing time by now, but this also wouldn’t be the first time you would have needed to deal with someone who couldn’t tell time and send them on their way empty-handed. 

Just as you stood up from where you were kneeling in front of one of the back shelves, the familiar sound of the front doors sliding open filled the store. Confused and a little on-edge, you approached the noise. Ever since your first day, you refused to be snuck up on again and always had your ears sharp and listening for people. 

Rounding the shelf, you spotted a figure with its back turned to you. However, you recognized that ass and poorly dyed blonde hair instantly and calmed down. It was only Keishin.

“You’re back late,” you commented. Sure, he always reminded you that he had a set of keys for the store, but he had never returned after you had locked up and actually had to use them before. 

When Keishin turned around after locking the doors behind himself, you noticed he was a little wobbly on his feet and couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh, so that’s why you’re late.” You stood back and gave him a wide birth as he slowly stumbled over to the counter and sat down on the stool behind it. 

Keishin narrowed his brown brows at you. “What’s that mean?” he inquired, his speech completely unaffected despite the fact that he was moving like he was tipsy, which he seemed to be.

“Oh, nothing.” You shrugged, brushing off his inquiry. “At least one of us had a good night.”

“Mmm . . . very good,” he sighed before folding his arms on the counter top and resting his head on them. 

You watched him for a minute or so, watching his back for rising and falling to prove he was still breathing when he went silent and still. “You should probably go to bed,” you told him, afraid he might pass out right there on the counter, leaving you to deal with his unconscious body. 

“Yeah . . .” He paused for a while before continuing. “Just rest here for a little bit first.”

“Okay.” You nodded slowly before turning back toward the shelves you had been stocking. “Well, I’ve still got some stuff to finish up so just call if you need anything.”

“Kay.”

Normally, you would be using this time to try to seduce him some more in whatever subtle way you could think of, but since he was pretty drunk, you decided against it for tonight. Besides, you were a little too exhausted to try anything anyway. Maybe this had all worked out for the best; a night off to just be in the same room as him and maybe you could gather some information to aid your pursuit that would resume the following day.

As the radio continued to play softly throughout the store and Keishin rested on the counter top, you quickly finished up stocking the shelves, noting that you would need to do some sweeping the next morning due to how dusty the tile was in the back corner. 

Standing up, you dusted off your hands and began patting your black pants off as you strolled back to the front. Surprisingly, Keishin was sitting up now, leaning back against the wall and typing something on his phone. In about twenty minutes, he seemed to have sobered up quite a bit.

“Damn, you bounce back fast,” you said, eyeing him and the nimble movements of his fingers while he typed. When he didn’t respond at first, you just went back to dusting off your pants.

“You missed a spot,” he finally spoke, his fingers ceasing movement while his eyes flickered over his phone at you.

Trying to inspect the back of your pants and failing miserably, you huffed. “Where?” You patted a few more spots, starting to wonder if you had actually missed a spot or if he was just messing with you.

“No, not there. On the side-” He tried to point out the spot he meant, but when you kept turning and twisting, it was impossible for him to pinpoint the area for you. “Oh, for fuck sake.” He set his phone down, stood up, and approached you. 

Right as he extended his hand to wipe away the smudge of dust on the side of your thigh, you turned again and he ended up brushed his hand across your ass. You both froze immediately, and when you looked up at him, you noticed a light dusting of pink across his cheeks.

Out of all the fruitless plans and days you had spent trying to get any reaction out of him, in the end, all it had taken was a few drinks on his part, an accidental encounter, and a misunderstanding to see any sort of progress.

“S-sorry,” he stuttered slightly, but you knew it wasn’t from the alcohol . . . or, at least, it wasn’t just from the alcohol. 

“It’s okay,” you told him, shrugging it off right away. It really wasn’t that big of a deal and you were slightly surprised to see such a reaction from him after something as trivial as an accidental butt touch. 

“I-I was trying to brush your thigh but you turned and then-”

You giggled. “Really, it’s okay.” You found his embarrassment endearing. “I think I’ll survive.”

“It’s not about that.” He groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “Workplace harassment is taken pretty seriously these days. Not to mention . . . sexual harassment.”

This time your giggle turned into a full blown belly laugh. “Do you honestly think I’m going to report you for an accident like that?” you questioned. “Besides, who am I going to report you to? You and your mom own this place, right?”

Furrowing his brows, Keishin seemed pretty disgruntled about what had happened. “You’re sure you’re not upset about it?”

“You’re really bent out of shape over this, aren’t you?” You rolled your eyes playfully. “Okay, how about we make it even?”

“What are you-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you had reached around and gently planted your hand on his ass. It took every ounce of self restraint you possessed not to give it a squeeze and test to see if it truly felt as great as it looked, but in the end you just left it at a light touch like he had done to you.

“Now we’re even,” you told him softly. “You gonna be okay now?”

Just like before, there was a faint blush on Keishin’s cheeks. But this time, in addition to the pink hue, there was a hungry look in his eyes, and you truly couldn’t tell if he was actually hungry after drinking so much or if he was hungry for something else . . . for you.

The two of you fell into silence for a few moments, breathing heavy and eyes locked. The way he was staring at you, you were ready for him to lunge at you at any second, but he never did. His hand twitched slightly by his side and his tongue ran over his bottom lip, but he never stepped closer.

Since this seemed like your best chance, you were forced to make the first move. If he didn’t want this, you would stop right away . . . but you were half convinced he did want this.

“You work so much . . . has it been a while since someone has touched you like this?” you asked in a hushed whisper, slowly removing your hand from his behind and moving your fingers to toy with the hem of his shirt. 

Keishin, whose face and neck were bright red at this point, didn’t answer. Instead, he swallowed hard and wrapped his hands around your arms. Then, he stepped backward, sat back down on the stool, and pulled you to stand between his legs. 

“Do you want me to touch you?” Your hands began travelling up under his shirt, nails lightly scratching over his lower stomach. “Say the word and I can make you feel good.”

Keishin’s lips parted and it looked like he was seconds away from practically begging for it, but before he did, something flashed in his eyes and he came to his senses. Running his hands down your arms, he snatched your wrists, pulled your hands out from under his shirt, and held you at arms-length. 

“I know that you think this is all fun and games, sweetheart, but you’re seriously biting off more than you can chew here,” he warned, eyes dark and serious.

You were taken aback. How had he done a 180 so quickly?  “How do you know how much I can fit in my mouth?” you teased, choosing your words carefully. “You haven’t even let me show you yet.”

He just shook his head. “26.”

You cocked a brow, unsure if you had heard him correctly or not. “What?”

“You asked me how old I was,” he elaborated. “I’m 26. You’re 18. That’s an eight year age gap. Eight years is a lot when you’re 18.”

You felt your blood begin to boil in your veins. “Why does everyone think they know what I can and cannot handle?”

“Why are you so adamant on refusing to acknowledge that people older than you might have some useful advice?” he said plainly. “I’ve been 18 before. I know what it’s like to feel like no one is taking you seriously, but making stupid choices in order to pass as independent is not the way to go about rectifying that situation”

Groaning in frustration, you pulled your hands out of his grasp. “I’m not trying to ‘pass as independent’. I am independent! I can make my own decisions and if I want to have meaningless sex with a 26-year-old I should be able to do that!”

“Why is this the hill you want to die on?” he inquired.

“Because it’s the only hill I have!” 

Untying your apron from around your waist, you yanked it over your head and threw it harshly onto the counter. After grabbing your belongings from the back room, you headed for the door, ready to be as far away from Keishin and the store as possible.

“Just my luck that I stumble across the only morally-responsible 26-year-old burnout in the fucking world,” you spat at him on your way past him to the front door. “I’m going home.”

“Okay, goodnight,” Keishin responded calmly, definitely completely sober by this point. He watched as you struggled with unlocking the front doors, waiting a reasonable about of time before offering his help. “You have to turn it the other way.”

Taking his advice without a word in response, you shot a glare at him over your shoulder as you pushed the doors open. You wanted to hurl one last insult his way, but by then, you were too emotionally exhausted and mentally flustered to think of anything appropriate . . . and if you were being honest with yourself, his words were sinking too deep for your liking and you needed to be away from him before you did something truly horrible . . .

. . . like admitting he might be right. 

[themayforce]

Pretty in Pink - Part 2

Link to part 1

Summary: After the events down on the planet, you're not sure how to talk to Rex about it. But luckily, Fives and Echo are here to help.

Description: Things get steamy again in this one. Afab!Reader (no gendered language), foursome, double (or i guess triple) penetration (in both holes), unprotected sex (wrap it up fellas), some degradation, and a little bit of spanking

Rating: 18+ explicit

Pairings: Rex+Fives+Echo/Reader

Words: 7481 (literally i only just found out about this word count and uhhhh i don't know how this happened)

There aren’t enough hours in a day for all the work you have to get done. Since getting back to Coruscant, it's like you've been stuck in an endless meeting with every possible senator, advisor, administrator, or whatever title these politicians had chosen to use. The first few meetings had been important, but soon you had no real part in the discussions anymore and you just watched from the back of the room, exhausted.

It doesn't help that events from a certain planet keep replaying in your mind like a holovid stuck on a loop, glitching and catching on moments and phrases you should not be thinking about in the middle of a meeting room. The heat in your face and your anxiety about it make you even more tired, and after a week of these negotiations you're very glad when you can finally get home before dark for once.

The lights in your apartment automatically switch on when you open the door. The soft pink and orange hues from the sunset outside drape over your living room like a blanket and you spend a few minutes just looking out the window, admiring the view over the city, something you didn’t take as much time for as you should.

No matter how hard you try, it’s impossible to empty your mind these days. Your little … adventure with your three clone friends left its marks on you, both emotionally and physically. They’re fading now, but every time you see yourself in the mirror before showering they jump out at you: two rows of bruises on either side of your hips, unmistakably finger shaped. Rex’s handiwork. And the worst part is that it turns you on more than you’d ever care to admit.

You haven’t spoken to Rex at all since flying back on the shuttle. He had been in two of the same meetings as you, sure, but only awkward glances were exchanged, no words. It bothers you, having these feelings fester inside you, but you have no idea how to approach the subject. If you send him a comlink message, what are you even supposed to say? ‘Hey Captain, I think we should discuss how you fucked my kriffing brains out and then pretended it never happened?’

The day after you got back, Fives and Echo had been waiting for you after your checkup in the medbay, bless their hearts. You had all agreed to leave out the specifics of what had happened in your official reports, but a warning had been attached to that planet’s datalog. Avoid the pink flowers: toxic to most humanoids. With those two guys, you can laugh about it now, and you’re grateful for it. Fives seems more relaxed around you, more open. You haven’t forgotten that he called you beautiful, that he held your hand and brushed the hair out of your face. You see the way he looks at you, and it melts you, the way a hot cup of caf on a cold day does. But you just can’t seem to examine your feelings about Fives, not while Rex’s fire burns inside you so vigorously.

If you don’t talk to him soon, you probably never will, and you’re not sure you can take that. You get a glass of water from the kitchen and down it in one go before laying down on your couch, comlink in hand.

Should you call him? Leave him a holo message? Or just a text message? He’s probably very busy, probably doesn’t even have time to meet with you, but there’s no way you can talk it out over the com. The little device feels heavy in your hand as you type out the message ‘Can we talk?’, and your thumb hovers over the send button. What if he says no? Or just doesn’t reply? What if he’s trying to forget what happened, and bringing it up will just anger him? But he’d called you perfect, had fucked you like a man possessed. You look like such a good little whore. Those words won’t stop echoing in your mind.

You press your face into a throw pillow and groan. “Stupid clones,” you mutter to yourself. “Stupid, sexy clones.”

It’s only when the buzzer to your front door wakes you up that you notice you had dozed off in the first place. Quickly, you smooth out your clothes and flip the throw pillow over with the drool-stained side down. You're not expecting any guests -- you were too tired to make plans this week -- so you're frowning when you open the door.

Your frown turns into a surprised smile when you see Fives and Echo standing in front of you. Their helmets are tucked under their arm, and Fives is holding a bottle of something that looks like alcohol, while Echo has a plain white box in his hands.

"Hey there, sunshine," Fives says with a sheepish grin that nestles itself in your heart.

"Guys! What's all this?"

“Hope this isn’t a bad time,” Fives starts, but Echo interrupts him.

“Fives wanted to-” A sharp look from his friend makes him rephrase his sentence. “Fives and I wanted to check up on you.”

“We saw you in one of the meeting rooms today, and you looked tired, so- oh, not that you look bad, you still look great, just-” You laugh, and that puts Fives at ease. He smiles back at you.

“You’re really too sweet. Please, come in.”

You step aside to let your friends into your home, both of them still wearing their armor. They must have come here right after their shift, and it warms your heart that they chose to see you instead of getting their well-earned rest.

“Brought you something,” Fives says, handing you the bottle he’s holding. “Thought you might like a drink.” It‘s a familiar bottle to you, the most common type of Corellian Red on the market, and one of your favorites, which Fives remembered.

“Aw, you shouldn’t have. But you’re absolutely right. I could really use a drink.”

Echo’s white box happens to be the best kind of box: a cake box, and time flies by while the three of you eat cake and empty the wine bottle. It’s nice, really nice, to just hang out like this. Despite the unspoken truth between you and Fives, it doesn’t feel awkward -- instead it draws something giddy and flirtatious out of you, though that may be in part due to the wine. One third of a bottle isn’t enough to get you drunk, but it’s definitely enough to get you tipsy, and soon enough you have your legs in Fives’ lap on the couch. He rubs circles on your calves with his thumb. He blushes. Echo laughs. The whole thing is adorable.

For the second time tonight, the buzzer of the front door interrupts you. This time, aided by the buzz of alcohol, you’re a lot more relaxed as you make your way across the room, glass in hand. There’s music playing from a concert on your holoscreen -- you don’t know the song or the singer, but the rhythm puts a spring in your step and there’s a smile on your face when you open the door.

Your expression shifts to one of open-mouthed confusion when you are met with another set of blue and white plastoid armor, worn by the man you so desperately wanted to talk to earlier today. And that's not all -- clutched in Rex's hands is a beautiful bouquet of yellow and white flowers, perfectly arranged like it's come straight out of a holo-ad for one of those high-end florists from Naboo.

You're speechless. Absolutely floored. Not just by the fact that Captain Rex brought you flowers, but that he decided to do this now, tonight, after ignoring you for over a week and- oh no. Did you accidentally send that comlink message? Is that why he's here? You would never even have considered sending it if you knew you'd have company tonight, but Rex doesn't know that and now he's here and so are Fives and Echo and every possible explanation you can give will bring trouble.

Blood rushes to your head as you try to think of something to say, but Fives and Echo beat you to it.

"Captain!" they exclaim in almost perfect unison while they jump up from their seats.

"Captain…" you repeat, at a loss for any other words. "I- I wasn't expecting-" You can't finish your sentence. Rex looks like he's going through all stages of grief simultaneously -- jaw tightening, brows furrowing, while his gaze darts between you and the clones behind you.

"I'll come back another time."

“No!” you say before you can stop yourself, “I mean, you’re welcome to come have a drink?” It’s embarrassing, the sheepish way you’re smiling at him, but he did just bring you flowers.

“Are those for me?” you ask, gesturing at the bouquet. Rex looks at the flowers like he had temporarily forgotten he was holding them, then hands them over to you.

“Yes. I hope you uh,” he hesitates, “are feeling better.”

“I am, thank you.”

This is unbearable. You want to scream, to either pull him inside or slam the door in his face, anything to make this painful situation end. You can feel Fives’ eyes burn into you from behind you, knowing that you have to explain why his kriffing Captain is bringing you flowers, when you can’t even explain it to yourself.

“So do you w-” you begin to invite Rex inside, pointing your thumb towards the living room, but he starts speaking at the same time.

“I’ll talk to you later. Goodnight. Troopers.”

With a curt nod and a sharp turn, he marches down the walkway, away from you.

You rush over to the low table next to your couch where you left your comlink and after you lay the bouquet down you check your message history. The words ‘Can we talk’ are still blinking up at you from the bottom of the display, unsent. The whole thing was a kriffing coincidence.

“So,” Echo says, pressing a button on the holoscreen to mute it, “what just happened?”

You groan as you let yourself drop down on the couch. Fives sits back down next to you, but his posture isn’t as relaxed as it was a few minutes ago.

“I don’t know if I should talk about it,” you say softly, burying your face in your hands.

"He …" Fives sighs deeply and turns his body towards you. "He also got involved back on that planet, didn't he?"

You nod without looking up. No point in lying about it now, and besides, it was Rex who decided to be weird about the whole thing.

"Said so, didn't I?" Echo says.

"Kriff, yeah, you were right. I really must've slept through it."

Now you sit up, bouncing your gaze between the two of them. “You knew?” you ask, confused.

“Not for sure,” Echo replies, “I stepped away for half an hour or so to fix the transmitter. But something was different about the Captain when I got back.”

Yeah, you could say that. It would’ve been a lot easier if he hadn’t been so secretive about the whole thing.

"I wanted to talk to him about it, but I thought he was avoiding me… Well, until-"

"Until he showed up unannounced at your apartment with flowers," Fives interrupts. There’s a small grin on his face as he shakes his head. "Stars, he's hopeless. We should give him some pointers."

Pointers? He wants Rex to be, what? Better at courting you?

“Wait… I thought-”

“I’d be jealous? Eh, a little, I can’t deny that. But one thing you need to know about clones,” Fives says with a knowing look to Echo, “is that we’re very good at sharing.”

His words make your face burn, your cheeks feel like the twin suns of Tatooine with how hot they are, and your breath hitches in your throat.

Echo chuckles at your reaction and moves to sit down on the couch as well. Stars, why was it making you so flustered to be sandwiched between the two of them?

“Fives was right. You really are cute when you get nervous.”

“I’m always right,” Fives jokes in return, “but more importantly…” He leans over and gently presses his thumb and index finger against your chin, turning your head to look at him. “Would you like that, sunshine? The three of us sharing you?” His thumb now grazes over your bottom lip. If he keeps this up, you might forget how to speak. Or forget your own kriffing name.

“Y-yes,” you whisper.

“Good.” He holds your gaze lovingly, his eyes darting down to your bottom lip. You’re hoping he might kiss you, but then he takes his hand away and smiles slightly.

“Better ask the Captain to come back, then.”

You fumble with your comlink and almost drop it while you type your new message to Rex. ‘Please come back. We want to talk to you.’ That’s the line you all agreed upon.

“While we wait…” Echo leans closer to you and lowers his voice. “Fives here never shuts up about wanting to kiss you.”

“Echo!” Fives hisses, embarrassed.

“Sooo,” you say, turning to him with a bashful grin, “what are you waiting for, then?”

Fives blinks a few times, and then with one swooping motion he pulls you into his lap, and puts his mouth to yours. His lips are sweet from the cake and the wine, his hands warm as he holds onto your waist. He’s firm and soft at the same time and it’s perfect -- until you move slightly and part of his armor pinches your skin, making you wince.

“Okay, you better take this off now,” you say, tapping one of his thigh plates with your fingernail, “or someone’s gonna get hurt.”

“That a promise?” Fives mutters against your cheek, making you giggle.

It’s touching how much care they put in taking off their armor. Just by watching them undress you can tell how important it is to them, almost sacred. They put every piece neatly on top of the other in the same way, like they were taught precisely how. Soon they stand before you in their tight black underclothes, still completely covered, but softer to the touch. The stretchy fabric doesn’t hide much. In fact, it accentuates the shape of their muscles and, well, other parts. You chew on your lip while you watch them move closer to you.

“Your turn, sunshine,” Fives states. “Let’s give the Captain a little surprise when we open the door for him.”

A small whine escapes your lips when you process his words, but you gladly oblige. As soon as you stand up from the couch, they’re on either side of you, so close it’s almost dizzying. They help you undo the clasps on your outfit and soon enough, you’re left only in your underclothes. Nothing fancy -- it was supposed to just be a regular work day when you got dressed this morning -- but at least it was a matching pair. Fives can’t seem to help himself and nuzzles his face into your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses that send shivers down your spine and he makes his way back up past your jaw, until he captures your mouth again. His second kiss is more intense, deeper, hotter, and as his tongue moves against yours, you feel the wetness between your thighs increasing. While Fives kisses you, Echo runs his fingers down your breastbone softly, before brushing them over your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra. He’s gentle, like he doesn’t want to distract you from Fives’ kiss, but it still makes you shiver, the hairs on your arms standing up with the thrill of it.

And then, the buzzer again. When Echo goes to open the door, you instinctively want to turn around, too shy to face Rex in your state of undress, but Fives holds you with your back to his chest and his hands on your shoulders, rubbing them softly. He presses a kiss to your temple.

When the door swings open, your eyes meet Rex’s almost instantly.

"What's going on?" Rex asks, but his voice isn't demanding. Quite the opposite, there's almost a quiver in it as his gaze moves over your body, then quickly away again.

Echo leads him into the room by the back of his arm and smirks.

"Well, Captain, Fives and I have a little … gift for you, if you want to join us."

"We know you got involved, sir. With the toxin situation. No need to be ashamed. In fact, I think we can all benefit from this situation." Fives’ mouth comes up right next to your ear and you can feel the tickle of his goatee. "Why don't you tell him what you told us?" Fives whispers to you. Kriff, he wants you to proposition Rex? Out loud?

"I-I… well…" Alright, breathe, you can do this. You know what you want.

"I want… I want all three of you."

Rex’s eyes seem to darken, his posture heavy when he walks over to you. Fives lets go of you now, taking a step back to give the two of you more space.

"Stars," Rex breathes, "y-you're sure?"

"I'm sure." To help ease his doubts, you trace a path up his armor with your hands, resting your arms around his neck, and kiss him. He seems frozen for a second against your lips, but then he returns your kiss eagerly, warm hands grazing over your hips. When he touches you, his breath hitches, remembering you are near-naked in front of him. He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against yours.

“I felt- I thought I had taken advantage of you. You were so vulnerable, and I was- I couldn’t control myself, I was too rough-”

"Look," you say softly, turning around to show him the remnants of your bruises.

"Is that- did I do that? Kriff, I didn't intend to-"

You interrupt him. "You can do it again, if you want. Keep doing it, so they never fade.”

Rex swallows, but before he can reply you come up with a new idea.

"I want to thank the three of you for saving my life," you say, and you can't help the shy smile that graces your face as you unclasp your bra, shaking it off and revealing your breasts. You take Fives and Rex by the hand and look Echo in the eye sweetly as you lead the three of them to your bedroom.

"There's no need-" Fives interrupts, but you shush him with a finger to his lips.

"I'm going to thank you," you say more firmly this time. You press a quick kiss to his lips before sinking to your knees before him, your eyes lining up with the visible hard-on under his clothes. Your fingers find the waistband of his black compression pants and his briefs below them.

"Oh, stars, sunshine-" His words catch in his throat when you peel the fabric down, revealing his bare cock to you, exactly the way you remembered it. Fuck, you'd fantasized about this late at night, pushing your own fingers into your mouth, imagining how much their cocks might fill you. You can't help but lick your lips before gently wrapping your hand around the base, drawing soft curses from Fives' lips. Your tongue finds the head of his cock, giving it a few kitten licks before letting your lips wrap around it. You hum contentedly as you let him enter further into your mouth, gently licking and sucking and reeling with pride whenever you draw a noise out of him. When you take him in as far as you can go without gagging, you feel his hand coming to rest on top of your head and you let him guide your pace.

"Fuck, your mouth feels amazing, sweetheart. You- you wanna show the other guys what you can do too?"

You whine when he takes his cock out of your mouth, but then you realize he meant show them right now, at the same time, because both Rex and Echo have taken their compression pants off (and Rex his armor, too) and you're greeted by two more of their cocks, hard and leaking and so close to your face.

"My lucky day," you joke, but your heart is beating fast with the knowledge you haven't exactly done this before. You just hope you can give all of them the attention they deserve.

Rex stands closest to you, and his cock twitches as you reach to hold it. His hips jerk forward when you press your tongue flat against the underside, tracing a vein that runs all the way along it. Just like Fives, he reaches for your head -- when you take one of his balls into your mouth and suckle on it softly, his fingers tighten their grip into your hair, his breath hitching with every stroke of your hand along his cock. After you give the other ball some attention, you move back to his cock, bobbing your head along it gently until he suddenly thrusts forward, hitting the back of your throat, making you gag.

"Kriff, sorry-"

But you persevere, spurred on to try and take him even deeper even with tears forming in your eyes. The sounds of you struggling to take him down your throat are joined with the sounds of Fives and Echo stroking their own cocks lazily on either side of you. It's lewd, but deliciously so, and your cunt throbs knowing that it's the sight of you that's turning them on.

You swallow around Rex's cock and he curses again, pulling himself out of your mouth.

"I won't l-last long if you keep that up, beautiful," he says, wiping some saliva mixed with precum away from your chin. Your stomach flutters at the pet name, a silly youngling feeling that feels unfitting to the current situation, but you find yourself wanting to hear it again and again.

Instead you turn again to take care of Echo, who seems to be enjoying himself -- his hand is wrapped tightly around the base of his cock and he smiles down at you.

"Your turn, mister," you tease, and a small chuckle escapes his throat.

"Stars, baby, you’re so cute."

Smiling, you lick up the sizable drop of precum that has formed at the head of his cock, drawing small circles around the opening with your tongue. Then much like before, you try to fit as much of him inside you as possible until you gag again -- the unpleasant feeling is somehow unbearably arousing to you, just knowing that his cock is so big, knowing your throat and jaw will hurt after, it sends lightning straight down between your legs.

"Look at me, baby," Echo coos fondly, "that's right, you like my cock, don't you, pretty eyes?"

You nod weakly, turning your attention back to the rhythm you had found while hollowing out your cheeks, when he pulls out of your mouth.

"Gotta keep it fair," he says with a grin while you feel a pair of hands turning you around again.

You service the three of them like this for a while, switching between their cocks while using your hands on the others. You must be an obscene sight, lips swollen and plump, saliva dribbling down your chin, and with every passing minute you're grinding your hips more and more, rubbing your legs together to find pleasure.

"Getting needy, aren't you, sunshine?" Fives teases, his voice raspy as you stroke his cock which is now slippery and shiny with precum and your spit. You hum around Rex, who has gotten to the point where he's thrusting shallowly into your mouth. Your gag reflex seems to have been conquered for the time being. They do say practise makes perfect.

It's Rex who comes first with a groan, his cum filling your throat while he holds your head in place, your nose grazing the hairs around the base of his cock.

"Fuck," Fives says, his hand finding the back of your head, "open your mouth, sweetheart, that's it." You swallow as much of Rex's cum as you can in one go, then open your mouth wide, tongue sticking out. Rex lines himself up with your tongue, pumping his own cock in quick hard motions. He cums with a low, rumbling sigh and his release ends up mostly on your tongue, with some of it on your nose and cheek. Before you realize it, you hear Echo curse beside you and he also finishes, his cum landing on your face and chest, like a marking you're all too happy to wear.

The three of them seem pretty out of breath, and Rex sits down on your bed with a sigh. "Stars," he breathes, pulling the high collar of his shirt away from his neck to let in some cool air. "That was some kind of thank you."

It makes you giggle. He seems more at ease now, having been convinced by the benefits of this arrangement.

Seeing the three of them panting and sweating in your bedroom sends another molten shot of arousal straight to your cunt and you realize your underwear must be soaked by now.

Fives must have realized you were rubbing your legs together, a teasing edge appearing in his voice. "I think you enjoyed that just as much as we did, didn't you? Did that get you wet?"

"Mhm," you admit coyly, "very."

"I think we should do something about that."

With a yelp from you, Fives pulls you up off the floor with ease and you crash into his chest with his nose pressed into your hair.

"Why don't you lie down and let us take care of you?"

Your face turns hot and your cunt throbs with anticipation at his words. But there's one thing that needs to happen first. All of them are still a lot more dressed than you are.

"Shirts off first, all of you," you say with a grin, which they all return.

"Yes, general," Echo jokes, peeling his sweat-soaked undershirt over his head. Now all of them are naked before you, and you can see the differences in their bodies. Echo, despite being the lithest of the three, has the most defined musculature. Fives is slightly broader in the shoulders but narrower at the hips, and seemed to have a little bit of an edge in the body hair department. Rex is the broadest overall, and also the most scarred, with gashes and blaster burns all over his chest, arms, and back. All three of them are beautiful, perfect, and somehow in your bed.

You get comfortable on the mattress, back propped up against a pillow. Surprisingly, it's Rex who finds his way over to you first, the mattress dipping under his knees. He puts his hands (big, warm, calloused) on your knees and spreads your legs so he can get between them.

"B-been wanting to taste you for so long," he says, his voice a dark rumble that strikes you in your core.

"You better take what you want then, Captain." You're not sure where the daring edge in your tone comes from, but after just making three men come with just your hands and mouth, some confidence has gathered in your chest.

Rex slides your underwear off and spreads your lower lips with his thumbs, and you can hear him suck in a breath. Fives sits down on the bed next to you and chuckles.

"Naughty, so wet from sucking dick." You give him a playful nudge which turns into a desperate grasp the moment Rex starts licking your slit in long lines, his tongue putting pressure on your clit repeatedly.

"Oh, fuckkkk-" you moan, your head falling back onto Fives' shoulder. Echo has now sat down on the other side of you and has taken it upon himself to lazily stroke and pinch at your nipples, the small licks of pain making you whine louder. Rex's pace is relentless, not gentle at all, and you find yourself on the edge much sooner than expected. Your nails dig into Fives' arm when Rex adds his fingers into the mix, pumping them in and out and curving them to hit the perfect spot while he sucks hard on your clit until you see-

"Stars!" you cry out, your hips lifting themselves off the bed as you buck into his tongue, your first orgasm of the night hitting you hard and deep. Rex keeps his tongue pushed against you for a while longer, until you come down from your high, slumping back down into the mattress with your breathing heavy and your skin shiny.

"Didn't know you knew how to do that, Captain," Echo jokes, still playing with your tits almost absentmindedly.

Rex wipes some of your slick off his face with the back of his hand and grins. "There's a lot you don't know about me."

When he sits back up, you can't help but notice he's well on his way to being hard again -- so are the others. There's a glimmer of pride in your chest at the moan Fives lets out when you wrap your hands around his cock again. You roll over, knees tucked under you, and bend down to wrap your lips around him again. In this position, you realize your ass is up in the air at an inviting angle, and you spread your knees a little further apart to give the man behind you a good view. It works, because it only takes a few seconds for Rex to grab your ass roughly with both his hands. His fingers line up with the bruises he left there before, and you hope he remembered your plea for their renewal.

"Look at you… you need a cock to fill you up, don't you, sweetheart?”

You hum around Fives’ cock in response, who fists his hand in your hair.

“Or maybe…” Rex’s voice is dark and rumbling, a sound that goes straight to your cunt, but that’s not where he touches you next. His thumb brushes over your exposed asshole and you stop moving your hips instantly in surprise. "... more than one? Think you could do that for us?"

You let Fives' cock slide out of your mouth to reply, spit and precum leaving a stringy trail between you. "Yes, please, I'll be so good for you," you whine, wanting nothing more than precisely that, to be good, to be of use to them, to make them feel good because they deserve it, and you're giddy and proud that they want this from you and no one else.

There's a bottle of oil in your nightstand for occasions like these -- a gift from a friend months ago who swears by this brand, but you hadn't gotten much use out of it yet. After all his nervousness earlier, you were surprised Rex took charge now, although you suppose he had just needed some time to settle into this commanding role that seemed to come so naturally to him in everyday life. The three of them briefly discuss among themselves how they should take you, but you have a hard time paying attention to the specifics. You bite your lip at the thought of the three of them filling all of you, and you can't help but sneak your hand between your legs to put some pressure onto your throbbing clit.

"Uh-uh," Fives tuts at you with a crooked smile, "none of that, now." He grabs the offending hand first and then the other so you can't touch yourself anymore. He laughs when you pout, and it makes you want to kiss the corners of his mouth. "C'mere," he says, pulling you forward to straddle his lap, his erection pressed between your bellies. It feels good, being this close to him, your skin against his. His smirk is still there and so you do steal a kiss, softly rutting against him just to feel him moan into your mouth. "How about the two of us stay like this," he says in your ear, pulling you tighter towards him with a hand on your lower back, "and I get to see your pretty little face while the other guys fuck your ass, hm?" Oh stars above, nothing coherent can leave your mouth in response to that. You press your face into the crook of Fives' neck and whine a breathy please that makes him chuckle. "Alright then sunshine, up you get." His strong hands lift you upwards so you can position yourself over his cock. Like it's the best thing he's ever felt, his eyes flutter closed when you sink down onto him, giving an experimental roll of your hips that tightens his grip on your waist.

"Fuck, I forgot how fucking hot your pussy is," he groans, and you can tell he's exerting some self control not to start fucking your brains out right away. You feel another warm hand on your back and turn to catch a glimpse of Echo.

"Yeah, Fives, you do know how to pick 'em," he jokes softly, but there's something different about him -- out of the three of them, you keep feeling like Echo might not have been attracted to you as much, like he might be happier with some girl from 79's, but now… You wonder if he reeled his feelings in so he wouldn't hurt his friend-- no, maybe that was just your vanity talking. Regardless, you pull Echo in for a short kiss while slowly starting to move with Fives inside you.

The sound of the glass bottle opening behind you gives you goosebumps. Rex's silence feels like the calm before the storm, and you hold your breath in anticipation. The liquid is a little cold when it trickles onto your skin, and you notice Rex also put a generous amount on his hand as he spreads it out, circling your little hole with his thumb. He works one finger into you gently, but you can feel the stretch and you cling onto Fives' shoulders.

"You alright, sunshine?" he asks and you nod, soothed by his voice and the circles Echo is rubbing on your back. Rex works you open gradually with his fingers, adding more oil when needed while Fives whispers words of encouragement into your ear. He keeps his hips painfully still -- your cunt throbs around him and you know he can feel it, too, but he doesn't budge, not yet.

“You’re doing so well, sunshine. Do you think you’re ready?”

“Mmhm,” you murmur against the skin of his shoulder.

“Ask Captain Rex nicely, then.”

You tilt your head up to look at him in slight bewilderment, only to find a playful smirk on his face. Before you can think of what to say, Rex starts slowly pulling his fingers out, grazing them along the sensitive skin in and around your ass, and you whine as you bury your face in Rex’s neck again.

“P-please, captain,” you cry, “please, please.”

His hands firmly dig into your asscheeks, rough and purposeful.

“Please what?”

Your words come out stifled and choked, both held back by your embarrassment to say something so filthy out loud, and shaken up by desire.

“Please fuck my a-ass, I need your cock, Rex, please!”

“Well done, sweetheart,” he says in that low voice that makes you quiver. He lines his cock up with your ass and you can’t help but buck your hips back slightly. His hands take hold of your sides and he starts pushing himself in, splitting you open easily with the help of the oil.

You’re full, so very full, and it’s so much, on the edge of being painful but not quite. Every part of your skin that touches one of your lovers is on fire, burning with arousal like it did when you had those toxins in your body, but better, now that your mind is sound. Whenever you think he can’t go any deeper, he does, and all you can do is hold onto Fives, digging your nails into his skin in the process.

“Fuck, stars, you take me so well,” Rex says behind you.

Echo pets your hair softly. “How’s it feel, baby?”

“F-feels good,” you respond, your words slurring together. Now both Fives and Rex are holding still with you in between them. The waiting is unbearable, like when the ocean pulls back before its biggest waves, and you are waiting for the water to crash.

The smallest roll of your hips is all it takes -- Rex groans as he pulls out about halfway, then thrusts back into you. From below you, Fives starts tilting his hips upwards, and you feel your cunt getting wetter around his cock. With the way you’re lying forwards on his chest, your clit rubs against him every time Rex slams his hips forwards. They move faster and faster, their skin slapping against yours and all you can do is sob, warm tears of pleasure mixing with sweat as they roll down your cheeks.

You can take more. You want to take more, and you look up at Echo through your wet lashes, reaching out for him, trying to find your words.

“Echo,” you whine softly, “my mouth, you can-”

You don’t have to tell him twice. He shifts so his cock is directly in front of your face instantly, unbearably hard and leaking. Your mouth opens almost instinctively, tongue lolling out to taste as much of him as possible.

Rex chuckles behind you as each thrust of his hips forces Echo’s cock further down your throat as you moan around him.

“Seems I was right the first time,” he says, not halting his speed even a little bit, “you really are a good little whore, aren’t you?”

Fuck, why do those words turn you on so much? Being called names was never something you wanted, but the way he said it, in that fucking delicious voice of his, it set you on fire and makes your cunt clench eagerly.

“Kriff, you liked that, didn’t you? Got all tight around me.”

Your mouth is too full of Echo’s cock to answer, but your throat lets out a noise that Echo clearly likes, because he moans and his strong hand finds purchase on your scalp. They fuck you mercilessly, all three of them pounding and thrusting into your body while you bounce on Fives’ cock and grind your clit against him. There is a deep focus to it, this steady rhythm while holding Echo’s cock into your mouth, but it feels so good and so complete, all of you moving together, thinking of nothing else but chasing the pleasure building in your cunt, and once you start slamming your hips down at the same moment Fives thrusts his up, it’s like the ocean wave crashing into the shore with full force, dragging you along with it. You come hard, a white-hot orgasm that shakes you to your core. You let Echo’s cock slip out of your mouth the moment you scream, and Five holds you against his chest where you can hear the pounding of his heart.

Fives halts the relentless thrusting of his hips for a moment, but not Rex -- he gives you not a moment of rest as he uses your ass with the same ferocity he used your cunt back on that planet.

“Fuck, fuck,” he swears behind you, “I’m gonna fucking- gonna cum, gonna fill this t-tight little ass up, would you like that? You wanna take my cum like a g-good little whore?”

“Yes, please, Rex,” you sob in reply.

He buries his cock deep inside your ass, his grip on your hips so tight it hurts, and then suddenly you feel a hand in your hair at the back of your head. Rex grabs a handful of hair and pulls, lifting your head up and back. He keeps you there while he coats your insides with his release, swearing throughout it, before letting you fall back onto Fives’ chest.

Echo stands up from the bed the second Rex pulls out of you and switches places with him.

“You can take a little more, can’t you, baby?” Echo says, lining his cock up with your ass. Some incoherent noise comes out of you as an answer, and Echo pushes in. Rex has opened you up enough for him to enter you easily, but knowing he’s fucking Rex’s cum back inside of you fans the flames in your belly and you can’t help but start bucking your hips back to feel it more, while Fives’ cock is still hot and throbbing in your cunt.

“Look at you,” you hear Rex say, “you can’t get enough of it, can you? Fucking yourself on two cocks at the same time, and looking so pretty doing it.”

“Mmm,” Fives agrees, and you can hear he’s trying to keep his composure but his breathing is ragged as he comes closer to his own release, “such a pretty little cockslut.”

The way they talk to you spurs you on, which they probably intended, and you start riding Fives like your life depends on it, pushing your upper body up a little straighter so you can look at him. He’s beautiful like this, face flushed, beads of sweat between his knitted brows while he intensely chases his pleasure. As soon as you look him in the eye he grabs the back of your head to pull you down, your forehead to his forehead, your nose to his nose, his eyes closed.

“You’re so f-fucking perfect,” he mutters, then lets out a long groan while he spills inside you, his head crashing backwards into the pillow. Echo’s thrusts get shorter and faster now and you buck back against him, wanting to give everything you still have left inside you. Rex’s hand sneaks up between your body and Fives’ to find your clit.

“Cum one more time, sweetheart, I know you can, with two cocks inside you.”

It’s too much -- you want to, but you don’t know if you can, don’t you if you’re even capable.

“I-I can’t, I-” you try to plead, but he rubs your clit roughly and you sob, hot tears wetting your cheeks. Echo tenses up behind you and you know he’s going to finish soon but-

Slap.

Rex’s hand comes down and strikes your asscheek so hard you squeal.

“I said cum.”

You do. You can’t explain it, but you do, an almost painful orgasm coursing through you while the sting of the strike lingers. A curse leaves your mouth but is caught by Fives’ lips pressing to yours and his tongue in your mouth. Echo spills his release into your ass with a moan, and with all three of their loads inside you, you have never felt so full.

After Echo pulls out, you climb off of Fives and let yourself fall backwards onto the mattress, every inch of you covered in sweat. Rex leans over to move some hair out of your face.

“Was that too much?” he asks, and the gentleness in his voice is almost heartbreaking.

“No,” you answer, a blissful smile on your face from how unbelievably good you’ve been fucked, “that was just right.” He leans over to press a kiss to your forehead, and you feel an ever so slight trace of stubble on his jaw, less than a day’s growth. You’ve never thought about him shaving, but you’d like to watch him do it, some day. Fives sits up, grabs your hand and puts it to his lips, pressing a firm kiss to your knuckles. Moments later, Echo appears with a towel from your closet and starts cleaning you up, dabbing the cloth between your thighs where their cum has started trickling out of you.

“So,” you start, grinning playfully “are we even, now?”

Rex chuckles and gets up off the bed to find his underclothes -- no doubt duty will call for him again soon. You feel so, so lucky, that these three men have chosen to spend what little free time they have with you, and a warmth spreads through your chest as you look at them, eyes half-lidded from drowsiness.

“Not a chance,” he jokes, stepping into his briefs.

Fives lets go of your hand and strokes your cheek with his thumb, grinning down at you, and Echo, too, has a smile on his face. Rex kisses your forehead one more time.

“You won’t get rid of us that easily.”

[lavendermin]

constellation 1 | xiao

pairing | xiao/reader

part of | if all stars fell at once

word count | 1.5k

genre | soft, domestic fluff

It dawned on you as you were out on your usual business— tomorrow was Xiao’s birthday. And as you arrived home that day, the adeptus in question appeared before you.

“It’s just another passing day. There’s no greater significance,” he had casually dismissed it when you brought it up.

You couldn’t help but pout a bit. “But… it would only be us. I know you aren’t one for large gatherings, so— I just thought we could…”

Though you knew he wouldn’t be too keen on the idea, part of you hoped he would still give it a chance. His expression was unreadable, remaining neutral with a slight crease of his brows as he intently watched your shifts in demeanor. Eyes averted towards the ground, fingers anxiously fiddling with the tassel on your amulet, lips drawn into a small pout— you were a little disheartened by his refusal, that much he could tell.

Xiao sighed quietly, loud enough for your eyes to perk up with a newfound glimmer of hope. Gods, he was so weak for you it was almost embarrassing how easily he caved.

“Fine. Just— keep it simple. I only wish to spend it with you,” he relented, arms crossed in feigned admonishment.

The way your face immediately lit up with uncontainable elation had his heart skipping a beat.

“Simple, got it,” you beamed. “Usually for birthdays the gifts you get are surprises but… how about you choose what gift you’d like?”

“A gift I would like…” he repeated quietly to himself, almost as if processing the foreign idea.

Rare was the time he would flat out ask you for something but since you seemed so enthralled by having him partake in this mortal celebration with him, Xiao would indulge you.

You peered at him with hopeful eyes, a small smile patiently waiting for him. If he was avoiding your gaze purposefully, you didn’t bring it up. The teasing could wait, as you found Xiao was sometimes easily embarrassed. Pointing out how cute it was only made him hide his quickly reddening face even quicker, sometimes disappearing into shadowy mist altogether— much to your amusement.

You poked his arm lightly, gaining his attention. “So…?”

“I’ll think about it.”

It was left at that. As the sun finished hiding behind the mountains surrounding Qingce Village, the yaksha also announced his departure. He descended into the busy night ahead of him, working against malevolent forces well past the first hours of his birthday.

He would come back eventually, you hoped. His word was his bond, after all. The moon rose into the sky, dusted by scattered clouds that framed its pale blue glow. It peered at you curiously from your window as you awaited sleep, and kept you wondering what Xiao’s answer would be. Anticipation filled your dreams with sweet nothings that you came to forget in the morning.

Though part of you wasn’t surprised, you were a little disheartened to awake to an empty room. There were a few select mornings where you peered one eye open to find Xiao resting next to you, partially curled up into your form. This wasn’t one of those mornings, though you silently held onto the possibility when the mourning doves began their morning melodies.

In fact, Xiao was nowhere to be seen all afternoon as well. Defending all of Liyue was no easy feat, and so you pushed yourself to continue your day as usual to squash the tiny seed of worry that weighed on your heart. You trusted him to be okay. Though you could call out to him, it somehow sat wrong with you to bother him today of all days.

Perhaps it was the anticipation that increased your worry over the prolonged absence of the adeptus today, despite the fact that he has seen longer periods of not showing up for his own personal reasons. Evening settled into the sky with orange and pink hues, his absence still clear as the sky.

Time inched by rather quickly as you busied yourself with colorful threads and a bit of evening reading to some of the village children as they waited for their parents to return from work at the harbor. You ran a bath to keep you occupied once settled back in the comforts of home, indulging in the calming aroma of the flowers and bath essences you always neglected to use. The cool of night was subtly falling into place as you let the warmth of the healing waters wash away the week’s lingering stresses.

Still, as you soaked surrounded by therapeutic aromas and warm vapors, the quiet patter of droplets cascading off the hand that gathered delicate petals did little to comfort you. Their melodic ripples breaking the surface echoed off the walls of the bathroom in a comfortless song. It became increasingly hard to ignore the absence of the reserved adeptus.

Your person.

It was only an hour until midnight. The gentle feeling of a foreign object placed in your hair subtly startled you as you entered your room.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Xiao apologized, a small smile softening his usual serious expression. “Something kept me busy.”

You were quick to melt into mirthful laughter, fingertips brushing the familiar object that now decorated your hair.

“Crystalflies?”

There was a light pink that dusted his cheekbones, but he continued adorning your hair with the subtly glowing cores. It was unexpectedly romantic of him and had your chest tight with overbearing fondness.

His voice was laced with uncertainty— a tone he took on when he was unsure if he was conveying his affection properly. “I thought they would look nice on you.”

The breathy laugh you let out as he placed a small pile of extra cores into your hand reassured him that the feelings got across.

“Is that what kept you busy?” you asked teasingly, voice melodic and light with endearment. “Crystalfly catching?”

He fell silent, momentarily flustered as he turned his gaze elsewhere.

“...Yes.”

Not a lie, but not the truth in its entirety. However, the adeptus chose to not tell you that he had just spent the better half of the day building up the courage to approach you about the gift he decided upon. Even now his heart was still hammering harshly in his chest. No, he would take that knowledge to his grave.

“I decided on the gift already. The one you told me to choose,” Xiao added, his amber eyes shifting back to you.

You hummed, sitting on the edge of your bed after tucking the precious cores away in a desk drawer. “Mhm, so what did you choose?”

Instead of answering you right away, he leaned down to rest his head on your shoulder, his arms on either side of you supporting most of his weight. Confused, you rubbed your hand soothingly on his back.

“Everything alright?” you asked tentatively when you were met with no response.

There was a muffled reply you couldn’t understand. You ran your fingers through his hair, coaxing him to lift his face to meet your eyes. And slowly but surely, he did. The heat was high on his cheekbones, his golden irises glowing subtly under the warm light of your lamp.

“...Kiss.”

“Kiss?”

He nodded, and you couldn’t help the wide grin on your face as your heart burst with newfound endearment. You were more than happy to oblige, cupping his face in both hands to press tender kisses to his forehead, his nose, and both his rose-dusted cheeks.

But he wasn’t satisfied.

Xiao‘s face was warm with impatience and the overwhelming emotions that drummed in his chest. He let out a quick exasperated huff, “No—This.”

The way his lips were fervently on yours without a moment’s hesitation left you winded, unable to ask anything further as his actions resonated clearly. This was needy, insistent— like an insatiable hunger to have you melted against him. Your taste, the feeling of your soft, plush lips against his, the cute little whines that he was quick to swallow— it all had Xiao’s mind in a dizzied state.

He pulled away, mind in a haze as you both were left panting during the brief pause, a thin string of saliva connecting you both briefly. There was a bright red that dusted your cheeks and he drank in your appearance. Your lips were a little swollen from his relentless nibbling and tugging, chest rising and falling as you caught your breath, eyes a little stunned yet shining with a love-drunk glimmer— he wanted to burn it into his memory.

“Again.”

You half-laughed in disbelief, “Again?”

With a quick nod, he wasted no time in finding comfort back on your lips. It was a little slower-paced now, the yaksha regaining some control over himself to timidly explore and prod within your mouth. He drank in all your quiet moans and silent gasps, gloved hand moving to tangle into your hair.

Over and over again he worshipped you with kisses peppered all over your face, your neck, your shoulders. This went on well past midnight, Xiao’s golden eyes glowing with adoration. And when he looked at you the way he did, with such ardent devotion, you just couldn’t help but indulge him.

Who were you to refuse?