#i sometimes wonder if it's like . not good that the two times i feel like a person are 1) at work and 2) when boxing

[amatoryscripts]

Never Let You Go

Pairing: Soft yan! Caleb x Fem! reader

Summary: You've had back-to-back missions lately, and Caleb's getting fed up and concerned. Not only is he worried, but he also hates that he hasn't been able to spend more time with you lately. When Jenna calls, saying she needs you on a mission with the team, he doesn't like the idea and intervenes with you going.

Warnings/tags. MDNI +18: Soft yandere Caleb, forcing you to stay home, poor baby cares too much, obsessive and possessive, unprotected sex, use of "baby girl" "princess" "baby" "pretty girl", MC giving him the silent treatment,makeup sex, biting, so good he tears up.

Lately, every time you turn around, a call from Jenna would come through about a mission that would take up hours of your day, sometimes even longer. How often you've been disappearing in the last two weeks was becoming concerning. Especially to Caleb, who has noticed this the most. How could he not? Every time you two had plans to be together, you had to cancel because of a last-minute mission due to wanderers lurking around. It didn't help his anxiety when you'd video call him after these missions; you'd be bruised up and getting bandaged by the medical techs during a majority of these calls. It pained him to see you in those conditions, as if his own heart could feel all the bruises and wounds you've accumulated on your body.

He always tells you that you can say no to a mission once in a while. Seeing you relax on his couch, reading one of your books while he made you food was a more enjoyable image than seeing you covered in blood and injured. Despite him asking you to do so many times, you refuse. Your response would always involve your worries of not being there for your team and helping to save those around. You were always putting other people first. Sometimes, he wishes you were as selfish as him.

Today was supposed to involve a relaxing date night at his apartment. The plan was to eat dinner and watch the movie they didn't get to last time cuddled up on the couch. In the kitchen, he was cooking a new dish you've been craving to try for a while. Oyster Rockefeller paired with lemon rice and sauteed Korean cucumber. When you mentioned your interest in it, he took note of the dish and garnered the ingredients for the day he knew you two would be together. This is the only thing he's been looking forward to all week.

You sauntered into the kitchen wearing one of his t-shirts and shorts. You've always liked wearing his clothes, but he especially likes it, thinking it makes you two feel closer. Plus, he thought it was cute when you'd hide half of your face and body in his shirts when sitting down. You rest your head against his back, taking in the smell of the seasonings invading the air. "Smells good," you hum, wrapping your arms around his torso. Caleb smiles at your embrace, wanting you to stay attached to him like this all the time.

"I should be done in the next hour or so," he informed you, sautéing the aromatics. He could tell how happy you were that he was making this dish for you. He took pleasure in doing things like this. He didn't mind it one bit, relishing in your happiness and the way your face lights up when he would take care of you. You're very independent, but take advantage of the way he wants to do everything for you. Sometimes, you wonder if you're taking advantage of poor Caleb, but he would always respond with how his only wish in life was to make yours as easy as possible.

"I was thinking we could also play Mario Ka-" You were cut off by the sound of a call trying to get your attention. Caleb already had a clue of who it could be. He puts down the knife he was using to split open the cucumbers and watched as you took the phone out of your pocket. It was Jenna, as always.

"Don't answer it," his low and dark tone caught you off guard for a split second. He knew Jenna was gearing up to swoop you away, once again, to go fight off wanderers they could take down by themselves without you. He didn't understand why they always needed to involve you in all these missions.

"Caleb, I have to," you remind him, letting go to answer the phone. As you turned around to pick up the call, you suddenly felt your body be immobilized. "Huh?" you grunt, trying to move but to no avail. Caleb walks in front of you, taking the phone from your hand. He was using his evol to keep you from moving and answering the phone. His arms swing over your shoulder, covering your mouth with his hand as he answers the phone.

"Hello?... Hi, Jenna... sorry she can't come to the phone," you muffled through his hands, trying to get him to stop. Your eyes demanding for him to let you go. "She's actually pretty sick... yeah, it must be a stomach bug. Poor thing can barely even speak," he smirks, looking down at you. "I'll tell her you hope she gets better. Bye now," he hangs up the phone and places it on the counter. He continues to keep you restrained but removed his hand so you can speak.

"Caleb! Why would you do that?!" You press as you watch him go to lock the front door and return to your side.

"I don't think you should go on that mission," concern and domianance coats his voice as he caresses your cheek with his thumb. You knew he hated you going on missions, but to basically keep you hostage irked you in so many ways.

"That's not really up to you," you struggle. Caleb's overprotectiveness was nothing new to you. He's always made it known that he would never let anything happen to you and would always protect you. You appreciate and even love that he feels this way, but it didn't mean he could stop you from making your own decisions. "Let me go." Your tone is firm as you stand your ground.

"Only if you promise to stay here and let your team handle everything," he attempts to bargain with you, hoping you'd give in easily. Your stubbornness was the real threat to him. He wouldn't put it past you to try and run out of the apartment as soon as he let you go, attempting to join your team in their fight against the wanderers terrorizing wherever Jenna wanted to send you off to.

"I can't leave my team behind," you retort, thinking about how your absence might affect them. They were strong, and you had faith in them, but that didn't mean you were okay with the idea of not being there when they might need you.

"They'll be fine," he assures you. "But I won't be if you come back hurt again. It took you days to recover last time, and now they're trying to send you back out there." His voice is tender, wrapped with a hint of frustration. The last thing he wanted to see was you covered in bandages with blood soaking through and bruises not caused by him decorating your body.

He wasn't wrong. You weren't fond of coming home all banged up, but you took this job to protect people, something you want to do. If that meant sometimes getting hurt, then so be it. "Caleb, I'm strong enough to protect myself. I don't need you treating me like glass. I'll always get a scratch here or there, but it comes with the territory, and I accepted that. You need to do the same." You didn't get this far by being fragile. Jenna put you on her team for a reason, and Caleb needed to start seeing you as someone strong and capable, not the little girl he would protect from bullies and danger 24/7.

He stayed silent, cupping your face and staring into your fiery eyes. He just wants to keep you like this. At his whim and safe from the cruelties of outside. Was that so wrong? Wanting to keep you locked away being only with him?

"You can't keep me from doing my job," you sigh, knowing he was just scared of losing you again. You both shared that fear, so she understood him well.

"I can try," his assertion not wavering, standing strong in his goal to keep you here. "You're not leaving. You're going to eat dinner, and we're going to watch the movie like we planned, okay?" All he could think about was how this interruption was ruining this time meant for you two to be alone.

You were silent, your frustration consuming you as you stared at him with narrow eyes. You knew trying to run off would be futile. He looks the most determined you’ve ever seen him. Jenna already thinks you're sick, so what's the point? After another few seconds of staring each other down, you give in. "Fine," reluctance infuses your words, knowing he wouldn't back down. He drops his evol, and you move your shoulders around, relaxing your body.

At the dinner table, you weren't talkative like usual. Your attention was on the food, not looking up at Caleb once. You were too upset to properly enjoy the meal. Normally, you'd be showering him with compliments as you stuffed your face from happiness. At this moment, you were picking at the food, taking small bites as you worried about your team, wondering how the mission was going.

Caleb stabbed his plate, picking up a piece of the oyster on his fork, watching you ignore him. "I'm doing this to keep you safe," he suddenly says. You didn't look up, pushing a slice of cucumber in your mouth. He could even make cucumber taste amazing. You keep the praise to yourself, listening to him attempt to make you understand why he did what he did. "It drives me crazy when you're risking your life for others. Doing it back to back too often is insane." He grips his fork, which begins to bend slightly from his strength. "You can really hurt yourself if you keep pushing your body like this. I wouldn't forgive myself for letting you go out there to get hurt."

Still, you refused to acknowledge him, pushing the rest of your food around. As the silence continued, the sound of your phone receiving a message echoed. You checked the notification and saw it was from Tara, hoping you got well, while also informing you that the mission was a success and everyone was fine. That message made you smile for the first time since you sat down.

"I'm assuming you received good news and everyone's limbs are intact. Happy now?" You frown at his comment. You hope he didn't think you would forgive him easily because everyone was fine.

"Yeah, it's good to know I can stop feeling guilty for worrying about my teammates when I should've been there for them!" You hiss, standing up abruptly and marching into the bedroom, slamming the door behind you.

Caleb stays at the dinner table, not touching his food anymore from a loss of appetite. He didn't like it when you got like this. It made his heart crumble when you'd give him the cold shoulder and shut him out. All he wants is to be near you and make you happy. Now you were pissed and shutting him out. His worst fear, right below losing you forever. You were scary in this state, going from being sweet and loving to an eruption of anger.

You stayed in the room, covering yourself with the shirt you wore. holding your phone inches from your face as you caught up with your teammates. You heard Caleb leave the apartment a few minutes after you got up from the table. Curiosity about where he ran off to did creep around your mind, but you were still annoyed at his behavior. When you checked in with the last member, you felt better than earlier, knowing everyone got out without being heavily injured. Even if Tara confirmed this with you earlier, it still didn't feel right not checking in with them.

A knock at the bedroom door interrupts your scrolling through your Moment feed. You close the screen as you watch the door slowly open, a small, plushed brown bear poking it's head through the crack.

"Caleb wanted to say he was sorry and that he misses you. Can he come in?" a high-pitched voice, you assume coming from Caleb, chirps. You couldn't help the small smirk that danced on your lips. You stifle it as you respond. "You can come in".

Caleb's large body pushes through the door, holding the bear as he approaches your side of the bed with the peace offering. "I went to the arcade and saw this little guy," he explains as he holds the bear out for you. You take the gift, examining its little face and soft fur. "Bears are cute and cuddly, but we know they're ferocious when provoked."

"You calling me a bear?" your brows raise in amusement at his comment.

"Absolutely," his response makes you chuckle, almost forgetting why you were mad at him in the first place. You shove your face in the back of the plushies head as you took in how it smelt like Caleb already. He watches you indulge in the bear, looking more peaceful than before.

"I'm sorry," he finally says, sitting beside you. His hand travels to your blanket-covered legs, giving them a small squeeze. "I shouldn't have lied to Jenna and stopped you from going on the mission". You raise your head, listening to what he had to say. " I...I was just scared. I didn't want to see you get hurt again. I was selfish, not wanting you to disappear for hours while I would be here alone without you while you missed dinner and the movie." His voice was infused with an apologetic tone laced in sadness. You could tell he was just worried and wanted to do whatever he could to keep you protected.

You run your hand over his. "I want you to have more faith in me and my abilities to protect myself". His heart jumps at your touch and the softness in your voice. "I know me being a hunter is worrisome for you, but you have to believe that I'll be okay."

"I do have faith in you. I just can't stop thinking about what would happen if something goes wrong. If a wanderer hurt you or someone else did, I'd go crazy." His grip becomes tighter at the thought. You squeeze his hand to show him that you were there with him and not off getting hurt, trying to bring him back to the present.

"I can't promise I'll never get hurt, and I'll always be in the best condition, but no matter what, I'll always come back to you. That I can promise." He wants to say; How do you know you'll always come back? , but he didn't want to dwell on that thought when you were touching and looking at him with so much promise and affection in your eyes. He didn't want his worries to ruin this moment. Instead, he leaned in and planted a kiss on your lips. It started off soft and innocent but transformed deeper, filled with yearning.

"You promise?" he questioned, breaking the kiss to look at you as he cupped your face, not wanting to ever let go of it.

"I promise I'll always come back to your side," you whisper, leaning back in to continue the kiss.

Heavy breathing and whimpers flooded the silent room. Your face contorted in pleasure as Caleb's fingers worked their way inside of you, pumping at a rhythmic but swift pace, watching how you took his fingers perfectly, coating them in your wet heat. His lips found that delicate spot on your neck as he nibbled and sucked on it, drawing out those sweet moans he loved hearing from your lips. "You sound so cute like this, baby," he comments in a dark, sensual tone. "I wanna hear more." His thumb joins in on the fun, circling over your throbbing, sensitive pearl, sending waves of pleasure through your body. Your body jolts and twitches as you cry out for him.

"Caleb! fuck...feels so good," you mewl into his hair, gripping his shoulder tightly, nails digging into his skin leaving behind crescent marks. His fingers could feel your walls tightened around them, signaling how close you were.

"That's it. Cum all over my fingers, pretty. Be a good girl for me, okay? Let me take care of you". He moans into your neck, feeling how hard he was getting from the sounds you were making and the tightness of your cunt sucking him in. His movements mixed with his words, encouraged your peak to shoot through your body, cumming all over his fingers. He slows down, drawing out your orgasm before bringing his fingers to his mouth, tasting you on his fingers.

"You taste so sweet," he coos, cleaning his fingers off as if he was desperate to get every last bit into his mouth. "Let me taste you some more," he whispers darkly before dropping his head between your legs. You let out a soft gasp as he connects his mouth to your soaking pussy, wasting no time to lap up your juices and shove the same fingers he just licked clean, right back inside. The combination pushes you further into your pleasure. He's relentless in his goal to drive you crazy. He sucks on your sensitive nub, humming in delight as you lose your words, spilling out whimpers and cries from how he was ruining you. Your fingers found his head and began grasping at his dark locks, pulling at them from the stimulation engulfing your body. He groans in satisfaction, loving when you got handsy like this. "Harder," he commands in a low groan. It didn't take much for you to tug on his hair even more. He made sure of it when he spread your legs wider, giving him the change to fuck his fingers in deeper.

"Caleb!" you call out, your voice soft and trembling. "I'm...ah~', your squealing elicits a wicked chuckle from his throat. "No, no. I can't, I can't." Your face twists as you lose confidence in your ability to cum again for him.

"Yes, you can," he growls, picking up his pace as he continues sucking your clit as your hips buck into his mouth. His fingers curl up into you, hitting that perfect spot that makes your back arch. "You can do it. I wanna taste you cum all over my mouth" he sucks harder on her clit causing a high pitched whine to spill from her lips "Just one more time. Please, baby? I'll make you feel so good, I promise" he pleads for you to let yourself cum on his mouth. You whimper and buck your hips as your release finds you once again, dripping all over his lips as he hums in satisfaction. "Fuck... your such a good girl for me". He finishes lapping up your juices as if he was licking a plate clean.

Your chest rises and falls as you catch your breath, watching him push one leg back to your chest. He wasn't done yet; he couldn't be satisfied until he was buried deep inside of you. He lines his throbbing cock between your legs, rubbing his tip up and down your wet folds. "You want more of me, pretty girl?" he purrs, trying to hold back from slamming into you the way he wants.

You look at him with pleading eyes, nodding feverishly as you bring your arms up to wrap around his neck, wanting the same thing that was clouding his mind. He drops his head down to your ear, gripping your hip tightly as he nibbles and licks your lobe. A shiver infiltrates your body, going down your spine, causing you to push yourself up into him.

"Come on, use your words, princess," he insists, pushing his teasing cock between your folds just enough to make you groan in impatience.

" Please, Caleb. I need you," you whine. He drops down to your tits, playing with one while he sucked the nipple of the other, nibbling just enough to make your legs kick and wrap around him from the sensation.

" What do you need, hm?" he smirks, wanting to hear you beg some more. "You need my cock fucking this cute little pussy? you want me to ruin you, baby?" his voice was dark and tainted with lust as he twisted your nipple. " Cause I'll fucking ruin you if you want."

"Yes," you breathe, followed by a small whine. "I need you to fuck me so badly." Your plea doesn't become lost on him. He pushes himself into you, groaning from feeling how tight you were around his tip.

"Oh fuck!" he grunts, pushing further into you, watching the way your mouth part and eyes flutter. Once he saw you'd taken most of him, he pulls back slowly and shoves himself back in, evoking a loud cry from you that he soon began to devour, moaning into your mouth as his hips thrust into you. his movements were hungry, wanting his cock to be the only thing you could feel. He breaks the kiss, looking down at you watching how your tits bounced against your chest, gripping your hips tightly pushing them back onto him. "You look so pretty like this, baby. Do you like how I feel?"

You could barely speak, feeling too consumed by him stretching you out. You bit your lips, stifling your cries as your body succumbed to the warm heat spreading through you.

"Answer me, princess," he thrusts into you harder, making you gasp and whine as you grip the side of the bed.

" Yes!" You wail. " Love it so much...please... need more," you pant, catching his purple eyes that have darkened from his craving. He drops into the crook of your neck, lifting your hips up to give him more leverage. He slams into you erratically, the sound of your skin meeting repeatedly dancing in the air, mixing with moans and grunts trickling from both of your lips as the headboard crashes into the wall behind you.

"Wanna stay like this forever" he groans, using his finger to rub circles around your clit, adding more intensity to your body. "Fuck! Wanna always be buried in this tight pussy. Wanna feel you like this all the time." he expresses his desires, occasionally letting out a small whimper from how you were clenching around him. "Never wanna leave you. Never." His thrusts turn sharper as each word escapes him. You feel a drop of water meeting your collarbone, sparking confusion. You look down at him, lifting his head to meet your face. Tears were prickling the corner of his eyes as he looked at you with emotions and yearning flooding his gaze. "Please don't leave me," he grovels, continuing his sloppy movements inside of you.

"I won't," you mutter, kissing his forehead softly. You couldn't help but think of how cute he looked like this. So desperate for her that it brought him to tears.

"Say it," he begs, feeling himself getting closer. "Say you'll never leave me. Say you'll always be here. I need to hear you say it...please." He bites your shoulder, scrunching up his face as his balls tighten, ready to give you all of him. You mewl from his bite, a mixture of pain and pleasure taking over you.

" I'll never leave you, I promise! I promise!" your cries swamp his mind as he finds himself shooting his hot cum deep inside of you, letting your voice permeate his mind. His release is thrust deeper inside as his hips slow down, refusing to pull out. He looks down at himself inside of you movingly slowly, taking in the white ring around the base of his cock, as streaks of his cum drips down your inner thighs.

You wrap your arms around his neck, bringing his attention to your lips. Your kiss is soft and saturated with affection. You could tell he's been worried about this for so long. The thought of you leaving one day, always floating and haunting him in the back of his mind.

"I'm gonna hold you to that promise," he murmurs, catching his breath as he crashes on top of you, ensuring he didn't suffocate his precious girl. With his eyes closed, his fingers drew patterns on your warm stomach.

"And I'll make sure to always keep it." You kiss the top of his head, pulling him in closer as you pet his soft head, showing that you would never let go.

[spacegyaru]

DON'T LOOK AT IT! PT. 3

your phone got lost for some reasons. the following day, the sex tape you made with your boyfriend (rin, isagi, chigiri) was all around the internet. how would they react?

cw: r18+, mdni! mentions of sex tape and implied sex. humiliation. mirror sex on chigiri’s part + angst. somewhat angst and comfort. a little bit toxic from rin’s part!

a/n: this is the last part!! unfortunately, i don’t have that much energy to continue this series further and might start writing for another idea 😭🥺i hope u guys understand!!

masterlist | part 1 (shidou, kaiser, bachira, & sae) | part 2 (reo, nagi, hiyori, otoya, and yukimiya)

rin itoshi:

sorry to tell you guys, but his gf has to be a little bratty and naughty enough to provoke him into making a sex tape. i imagine him doing it out of jealousy, he wanna make you moan his name loud while he takes you all-fours and biting your neck a little bit. all after seeing how isagi was being a little bit too friendly towards you.

and that's exactly what people saw on the video. you remember your phone being pickpocketed while you were out for a shopping. when it got lost, rin scolded you a little bit, and reminding you of the video you guys made. you were the one who insisted that he shouldn’t think too much cuz ya boi was overthinking. but his hunches and gut feeling prevailed. the next few days, your name was all over the news.

rin’s team worked on the damage control. he was hesitant to post a public apology, but he did anyways. unlike his brother who has a ‘idgaf’ attitude, rin cares a lot; he cares a lot about his image and your image too. it’s just plainly embarrassing for him.

when you started isolating yourself due to the humiliation you were going thru, rin tried to comfort you.he was never good with words and may have appeared harsh the way he said it, but you knew what he truly meant. you gave him a hug and a kiss due to his attempt to comfort you.

“babe, i know how much you hated it whenever i say ‘i told you so’ so i’ll try not to make you feel worse. but try not to worry about what other people say. don’t check your phone too much. it doesn't matter what they think. what matters most is what we think of each other .”

yoichi isagi:

fuck, even i am wondering. how did this guy have a sex tape? well, it was your idea, but you didn’t think that your bf, isagi, would be super into it. both of you ended up making two-three sex tapes together. at first, it was embarrassing for him. but then once he’s inside you, he gets all pussy drunk and hell breaks. all that can be heard in the background was the loud bed creaks, along with your moans and his groans. your legs are all over the place, while he held your thighs. the lights were a bit dim, but both of your faces were visible.

the following week, you lost your phone while you were sightseeing all alone. you didn’t think that much of it. but the following day, that very same video you created with isagi, was all over the internet. both of your names were mentioned in twitter and apparently, he was placed in trending.

although isagi was very much embarrassed by what happened, he never blamed you for it. he asked his team to focus on the damage control while he released a public apology, addressing what happened. he explained that you lost your phone while on a trip, and are now taking the proper measures to track whoever did spread the video. isagi couldn’t stop apologizing. everyone knew how harsh he speaks whenever he’s at football matches but this time, he seemed like a dorky apologetic machine.

when isagi realized how humiliated you seemed to be, he immediately prepared a romantic dinner for the both of you, buying some wine and steak for the both of you to enjoy. he also bought a bouquet of flowers for you. then he rented a private ship for the both of you, so you could spend time together and get things off your head for a while.

“love, you don’t have to blamed yourself for what happened, you know? sometimes, there are just things that are out of our control and this happens to be one of them. let’s get this off your mind for now, okay?”

hyoma chigiri:

okay so if you wanna do anything new with this guy, you should initiate it because he’s very much of a vanilla. that’s how you ended up having a sex tape with him. the crazy thing is, he was the one holding the camera. you were riding him in a cowgirl position, your ass was bouncing as you went up and down on him. your room was surrounded by mirrors, so chigiri was recording your reflection. his hands were shaking as he was feeling too much pleasure from your pussy. so far, he was able to record almost everything, but he ended up dropping the phone when he orgasmed.

one day, you lost your phone after a long day at work, but then again, you didn’t think anything of it. you just thought of buying a new one instead. but then few days later, you suddenly see your boyfriend’s name on twitter’s trending. when you clicked the link, that exact mirror sex videos were all over the internet. you just sighed upon seeing those. you never expected them to reach online but here they are.

given the situation, you didn’t even have that much space to comfort yourself because you just saw how down and embarrassed your boyfriend looked. he was able to release a public statement, and his pr team did the damage control. but he was so affected by people’s comments about his masculinity. well, the question about this didn’t really matter to him, but what affected him the most is how people would say how ‘hot’ you are and that you deserve someone more dominating and masculine. he was more affected on what people say about you, rather than what people say about him.

so your night with him ended up being a comfort-fest. both of you lay on the bed with hands holding together while you reassure him that what other people said isn’t true. that you only need him to satisfy you and no one else. you thought your night would be sweet and peaceful. until your small cuddle moment turned into a heated making-out session with chigiri hovering on top of you.

“babe, i love how hot you are whenever you're on top of me. i love how your body bounces and tell me how you make me feel good. but what about let me do the work tonight? i'll let you feel every part of me while i dominate you.”

[hhmnya]

AN INDIRECT KISS ㅤ 𓈒 𓈒 ㅤ 🦷

【 take five anthology 】 fem ! rㅤ ◦ ㅤ 658wc fluff heeseung pov ㅤ──ㅤ w not proofread.

from anna. repost :3

heeseung watches as you bow, apologizing to the director once again for not being able to complete the scene properly. he feels bad; obviously you were feeling the pressure, your perfectly-styled hair now a mess due to the aggressive bowing.

the stylist is definitely going to scold you later.

he tilts his head—you look better with messy hair, you don’t suit the put-together style of the character you’re playing. obviously you look good in anything, you’re an attractive woman, but heeseung finds himself much more mesmerized when you’re in an unkempt state.

he’s pulled out of his thoughts when you walk over to him, a frown on your face. heeseung wants to ruin everyone who makes you upset—this thought is quickly pushed out of his forefront. he should definitely not be thinking about you like that.

“how do you do this?” you mumble, staring at the ground.

“do what?”

“this,” you half-heartedly gestures towards the cameras, “the bad takes. the bad days.”

he hums, “i don’t have bad days.”

that’s a lie; he’s had days as bad as the next person, but for some reason he wants to impress you. heeseung wants you to think that he’s the amazing, professional actor you seem to think that he is.

he lets out a quiet laugh when you roll your eyes, an annoyed groan leaving your mouth, “i’m serious.”

“okay, i’m sorry.” heeseung shifts, picking up his cup of coffee next to him, “here. caffeine helps sometimes.” he holds the cup out, staring at you expectantly, his eyes meeting your shocked ones.

“did you drink out of it?” heeseung blinks in surprise at your question—it definitely isn’t something that he thought you would be concerned about. he’s seen you take drinks out of water bottles from some of the other actors on set; people you weren’t even that close to compared to heeseung. then again, the two of you weren’t best friends, you hardly spoke outside of filming.

“i did. is that okay?”

you hurriedly nod, likely noticing the subtle look of confusion on heeseung’s face, “no–i mean, it’s fine. just, you know..”

you gesture vaguely once more, making heeseung wonder if that’s habit of yours. either that or you’re nervous right now—you look nervous. you aren’t meeting his eyes and you keeps glancing at heeseung, checking his expression.

he paints his face to be as neutral as possible, shrugging his shoulders, “no, i don’t know. what’s up?”

heeseung has some idea of what you’re worried about, if your nervous fidgeting is any clue to your feelings. you’re playing with your necklace—a habit that heeseung’s picked up on during the two months of filming that you’ve done together—eyes not meeting his.

“like,” you slumps your shoulders, biting your lip, “an indirect kiss. you know.”

heeseung’s eyebrow shoot up briefly before his expression changes to one of pure smugness, “oh?”

“okay, don’t make it weird.” you scold, suddenly snatching the coffee up out of his hand. you take a drink, making a show out of it, dramatically pushing it back into heeseung’s possession once you’re finished. “see. it’s not a big deal.”

“i didn’t say it was. you’re the one who brought it up.”

he can practically feel the heating radiating off of you, he’s half-worried you’re going to sweat off your stage makeup. that aside, he can’t help but think that your real flustered state is ten times better than when you’re acting. you’re an amazing actress, but he doesn’t think you could ever encapsulate this particular moment.

“i didn’t mean to. i just remembered what people call it.” you mumble, looking back down at you feet.

heeseung hums, nodding his head in understanding. he wants to tease you so badly, to ask why you thought about it in the first place and why you had decided to bring it up, but he holds himself back.

knocking his foot against yours, he responds, “sure, we’ll go with that for now.”

[macabrebatz]

CLUELESS

(Mark Hoffman/F!Reader)

Summary: You're a bit oblivious and miss every sign that Mark is hopelessly in love with you

Author’s Note: First time writing about Mark, let’s goooo! Fair warning, I haven’t watched the Saw movies in their entirety in a while. I’m still in the process of rewatching the movies so I’m not sure how in character Mark is here. But I tried, and I think this is sweet. I really enjoyed writing it. Also this is part of a request! @stygianoir requested that I do this same concept with Vincent Sinclair and Charles Lee Ray so they’ll be next.

Warnings/tags: Fluff, no use of y/n, fem reader, you don’t know Mark is Jigsaw’s apprentice, Mark gets sick (kind of), bro’s in love and you have no clue, Mark both hates and loves being in love, literally just 2000 words of Mark yearning hard

Word count: 2.2k

The first time Mark saw you at the bar, he didn’t say anything. Not at first. You had come in and sat at the end of the bar, ordering a drink for yourself. He had watched you from across the bar for almost an hour, unbeknownst to you. He wasn’t having a good day. To be fair, he wouldn’t describe most days as good days. But something in him perked up just a bit when you sat down at the bar.

He was practically a regular in the hole-in-the-wall bar the two of you sat in. He recognized all of the regulars when he would come in and ask for his usual drink. You were a new, fresh face. A pretty face.

He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or his ego but he eventually found himself sauntering over to you, sitting on the stool beside you. He offered to pay for your next drink, which you happily accepted. And before you knew it, you were deep into a conversation with him.

“So you’re investigating that Jigsaw killer they’re talking about? God, I can’t even watch the news without getting a little freaked out. Makes you always want to glance over your shoulder, you know?” you said.

The topic of conversation was sobering for him, for reasons that were beyond you. He couldn’t help but wonder how you’d react knowing his secrets. He wondered if you’d scream. If you’d turn him in to the police (as if he’d let you). But those thoughts were pushed to the side as he watched your face as you spoke.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about. There’s more of a…pattern to these things,” he said.

And with that said, the conversation shifted to more lighthearted talk. Every time you smiled or laughed, Mark could feel something in him flutter. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but he welcomed it. He wanted to keep feeling whatever you were doing to him.

You kept coming to the bar after that, meeting up with Mark almost like he was a lifelong friend. He could’ve sworn he had never spent this much time just talking to someone before. And he wasn’t complaining, he loved every second of it.

Little did you know, you were driving the man crazy. He’d fall asleep at night thinking of you. Sometimes it felt like he was counting down the days until he’d see you.

A month had passed, and you and Mark had ventured out of the bar for your little get-togethers. The two of you would take walks in the park or sometimes you’d convince him to hang out at the mall.

You didn’t consider these dates. You didn’t think Mark liked you in that way. Another one of your friends had teased you when you told them about Mark. They poked you in your rib and asked when was the next time you were seeing your “boyfriend”. And you had immediately shut that down.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a friend. He doesn’t like me like that.”

To you, he was a really good friend. A really sweet one at that. And you were happy to be in his presence. You wouldn’t mind Mark liking you. You thought he was handsome and kind. He made you feel safe and sometimes there was a deep longing inside of you that was just calling for him. You often felt like he understood you in ways that others didn’t. But he would never be your boyfriend. You were sure of it. So you pushed those feelings down. You highly doubted Mark liked you the same way you liked him anyway.

But oh, you were so wrong. And you didn’t even know it. Mark may have not been your boyfriend, but he sure wanted to be. The only issue is that you weren’t that receptive to his flirting. A part of him wondered if it was him. Was he really that bad at flirting? Or did you just not find him attractive? He soon came to realize that it wasn’t either reason.

You seemed…clueless. Almost like you had never been flirted with before. He kind of thought it was cute. Mildly frustrating, but cute nonetheless. He just wasn’t sure how to make it clear that he was in love with you besides being extremely blunt about it. Not many things scared Hoffman, but love confessions were a new type of fear he hadn’t even realized he had. So he decided to not think about it, as hard as that was. He was head over heels for you but he was patient. Maybe all you needed was time. Maybe you’d realize that the detective was in love.

Mark had kept himself busy with work. It was the only way to distract himself from you. It didn’t always work though. Sometimes thoughts of you clouded his mind even when he was supposed to be thinking of other things. You had become a distraction. An irresistible one at that. There were a few times where he had tried to tell you how he felt but he could never get out what he wanted to say. No woman had ever made him feel this way. He was never nervous or shy around women. But when you were around he would get a lump in his throat. That fluttery feeling would rise within him and he didn’t know what to make of it.

Months passed and you were still unaware of Mark’s feelings about you. You had grown to consider him your best friend. He was a much-needed presence in your life. Unfortunately, that presence had been absent for several days. You hadn’t heard from Mark for almost a week. It was odd because he often called you every other day, or you would see each other in person. Your calls were going unanswered and when another week passed, you were riddled with worry.

You found yourself at his apartment, knocking on the door. There was no answer.

“Hey, Mark. It’s me. I just wanted to check on you,” you said, knocking once more.

And that did the trick. You heard shuffling on the other side of the door and then it opened. Mark stood there, looking rather exhausted. He was wearing slacks and a light grey button-down shirt, which was open, revealing a white tank top underneath. He didn’t look particularly happy. In fact, there was a bit of a scowl on his face.

Your eyes drifted over him, stopping at his neck. Across his skin was a line of stitches. You reached for him, almost instinctively, tracing the skin near the stitches. His face softened, the scowl fading away. If only you knew what your touch was doing to him.

“What happened? Where have you been?” you asked, quietly.

“Been a bit under the weather lately,” he said, gritting his teeth a bit.

Which wasn’t a lie. He felt like shit. His job and the added factor of being down bad for you wasn’t making matters any better.

“Sick for two weeks?” you asked.

“Mhm.”

“And what about this? Gonna explain it?”

You pressed down on the skin of his neck, which caused him to hiss a bit.

“Work-related accident,” he said.

You moved your hand further up, resting the back of your palm on Mark’s forehead. He was burning up.

“I think you have a fever,” you said, concerned.

“I’ll be fine,” Mark said.

“Can we take your temperature to ease my mind?” you asked, taking your hand off his forehead.

The sudden lack of contact could’ve made Hoffman cry, but you were none the wiser. He huffed and nodded his head. He didn’t like the idea of someone trying to take care of him, but for you, he would make the exception.

“Come in,” he said.

He moved out of the doorframe, letting you walk inside before closing the door.

“I can’t believe you came all this way to check on me,” he said as he sat down on the couch.

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my friend,” you said.

Hoffman watched you from his place on the couch. Your back was facing away from him as you went through his medicine cabinet. You were familiar with his apartment from your previous visits. You pulled out a thermometer and a bottle of Tylenol almost absentmindedly. It was as if you had lived there for years and something about that drove Mark wild. Thoughts of you living with him flashed in his mind as you made your way to the couch.

“Open,” you said, as you sat down beside Mark.

Mark opened his mouth, letting you place the thermometer under his tongue. After a few seconds, the thermometer beeped and you pulled it out of his mouth, examining the temperature displayed on the tiny screen.

“Jesus, you do have a fever,” you mumbled.

“I’ll be fine,” Mark said.

“Sure, after we break your fever,” you said.

You stood up, going back into the kitchen. You grabbed a glass and filled it with water. You brought it back to him, placing it in his hand. You then too put two Tylenol pills into his other hand. Mark took the medicine and drank down the glass of water.

“It’s just a fever. I’ll be okay,” Mark said.

“I know, I know. I was just worried about you.”

You sat down beside him, placing your hand on his knee.

And there it was. That all too familiar fluttering was back. A part of Mark hated it. He wasn’t a soft man. He didn’t consider himself as such. But something about you made him melt. Every time you smiled. Every time you laughed. Every time you touched him. Moments like this where you showed that you genuinely cared about him. Everything you did seemed to chip away at him. You were molding him into something he didn’t recognize. Yes, a part of him hated it. But another part of him, the part that was swelling with love, welcomed the change with open arms. For you and only for you, he would be the softest man in the world. He needed you to know. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could go without laying his heart out in front of you.

About an hour passed. The two of you were watching TV. Occasionally a little conversation would spark up, but for the most part, the two of you sat quietly together. You had gotten comfortable, your head rested on Mark’s shoulders.

“Thank you,” Mark said, drawing your attention away from the screen.

Your head perked up, attention shifting towards him.

“For what?” you questioned.

“Checking on me. It was sweet of you to do that,” he said quietly.

“You’re welcome.”

You smiled up at him. Mark’s eyes drifted over your face, pausing at your lips for a second.

“I love you.”

It slipped out. He wasn’t sure if it had meant to say it out loud. He was definitely thinking it.

You went still for a moment before shifting in your seat, sitting up straight.

“Um, what did you just say?” you asked. Your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

“I love you,” he repeated.

That’s what you thought he had said. Your mouth parted a bit, trying to say something, but nothing would come out. Surely he just meant that in a friendly sense, right? Right?

Mark rested his hand on top of yours as he looked at you. Those beautiful blue eyes felt like they were staring into your soul, and you weren’t entirely sure how to react.

“I love you too. I mean, I don’t know what I would do without a friend like you,” you finally spoke.

“And I’m happy that you consider me a friend. But I love you more than just the friendly type of love,” he said.

“Wait, really?”

You were taken aback. You had gone months thinking this exact scenario was an impossibility. You had shoved your true feelings about Mark to the side for months, but suddenly they were rushing back to you. You were suddenly very hyper-aware of how handsome he was. He had always been so beautiful to you.

“You really are clueless, aren’t you? I hoped you would’ve caught on months ago but you’re really persistent about not noticing when someone is flirting with you,” he said with a laugh.

“I….wait. I-“

His hand went from on top of yours to holding it. Mark figured there was no turning back now.

“I love you. I love you so, so much. I never wanted to be with someone more than I want to be with you,” he said.

Your mind was racing. A million thoughts ran through your head. But those thoughts were silenced when you surprised yourself. You moved as if your body was on autopilot, moving forward and placing a kiss on Mark’s lips.

Mark was shocked. By you, by the sudden feeling of your body pressed against him, by the fact that he had finally told you how he felt.

His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him. The kiss was gentle and soft, much like you, which didn’t surprise Mark at all.

You pulled away, just enough to look him in his eyes. Mark’s heart ached a bit, not wanting the kiss to end. His arms were still wrapped firmly around you as you brought your hands up to his face, tracing over his skin with your thumb.

“I love you too,” you whispered.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, staring into each other’s eyes. Eventually, you found yourself falling asleep in Mark’s arms. He laid awake, holding you. He wanted to hold you until the end of his days.

[lokisprettygirl]

Come As You Are (Eric Draven! Bill Skarsgard's Version x Female Reader) (18+) (Slight Au)

Read chapter 3 here

Chapter 4

Summary : The dam breaks when you get tired of being pushed away constantly.

Warning: 18+, smut later, Description of self harm, Eric is a past drug addict with suicidal tendencies, self harm, use of cuss words, description of claustrophobia, reader is in her early thirties, mention of sexual assault, death and murder, Consumption of alcohol and weed

“We got lamb chops on the specials today, is that something that interests you?” You asked politely, the customer in front of you was being extremely indecisive and has been for a good five minutes so you were just trying to help him out.

“What's the cheapest item on the menu?” he asked you, so you dragged your pen over the breakfast items.

“Just get me one of these” he said to you as he pointed towards eggs and bacon so you nodded and gave him a smile. “Would you like some french toast with that?” you asked him so he responded in negative “It will be on the house” you said politely.

“Then yes”

You smiled before you turned around to go put his order but then you saw Eric standing at the door of the diner, looking utterly confused and out of place, he had a dark grey hoodie on with black cargos, his hair seemed wet. No wonder he smelled so fine all the time, that man was showering every time he returned from one of his gigs.

After bringing the earlier gentleman's order you finally approached Eric.

“Hey Stalker” you said to him as you crossed your arms.

“I didn't know you worked here-” he said nonchalantly.

Lies.

You rolled your eyes before you grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the most isolated booth of the diner since you knew he didn't enjoy people.

“What would you like to have today sir” you asked him as you looked at him after he sat down hesitantly.

After that night Eric had been keeping his distance from you, or well, he was trying and failing miserably, but you were surprised to see him here because he had been avoiding you like a plague and that had you feeling a bit miffed with him, you shouldn't feel that way but after that night at the terrace you really thought you two were becoming friends, perhaps you had ruined it with the stunt you had pulled with his jacket.

“Waffles” He answered, not even looking at the menu so you wrote down his order.

“With or without whipped cream?”

“I don't do cream”

“Sir you are offensive” you said before you strutted away to the kitchen area. Your ass looked good in that blue waitress uniform.

He was expecting you to come back with his order since you did so for that man before but instead he saw Dina approaching him, that made him groan.

“Heyyy Ericccc…good afternoon” she greeted him with such excitement that he almost forgot how to be rude for a second.

“Hey.. uhh??” He looked at her as if he didn't remember her name so she smiled.

“Dina..we met at Y/n’s place remember?” She said as she leaned over him and then she lowered her voice so only he could hear her “You got us all high”

He raised his brows before he gave her a side smile, then he got back to his waffles. He didn't want to be so curt with her but he had no interest in your friend, mostly because she was your friend.

“That was some good shit, perhaps we can hit it up again sometimes huh? Maybe just me and you this time” She asked him as she placed her hand on his shoulder so he looked up at her.

“Didn't you like pass out after that and then puked all over her apartment?” He asked, his voice as disinterested as it could be so she rolled her eyes at him. He had been getting that alot today.

“Enjoy the waffles..asshole” she huffed as she turned around to leave him alone and he couldn't have been more thankful. He peeked his head out to see you attending other customers but everytime you caught his eye he looked away.

Half an hour later your shift had ended so you changed out of your uniform and as you stepped out of the diner Eric was right outside of the diner ..smoking his cigarette.

“Look who's still here” you said to him as you made your way towards him.

“That was nice of you to send your annoying friend to me by the way” he said, his eyes squinting because of the sun. So he was on the other side of that tangent huh, a squinter under the sun..

“Well she insisted, almost begged me, she is really taken with you” you answered him, Dina had a crush on him and she wanted to meet him again so you obliged even though you didn't want to.

“She wants to fuck me”

“Well you can fuck her if you want..i don't care”

You said to him as you walked past him, he didn't want to be seen with you like this so he walked the other way, however when you reached the building he was already in the elevator staring at you, keeping the door open so you could get in. What in the name of spiderman? Did he know a shortcut you didn't?

As you stepped inside the elevator he closed the grill..

“I am not going to fuck her” he said after a mere second of silence.

“Yeah why? You fuck everyone else” you chuckled even though you hated it everytime you saw a woman walking out of his apartment.

“Easy with the slut shaming”

“Just saying -”

“Y/n”

You turned to him as he said your name and stepped closer to him until he was backed into the wall of the elevator, there was a fire in your eyes that didn't go unnoticed by him.

“You can't ignore my existence for days and then come to my workplace and act like this” you said, your voice was fierce.

“Act like what?” he asked.

“You know what..don't play stupid, doesn't suit you” you turned around and opened the gate to walk out as your floor had arrived. His jaw clenched in anger at the tone of your voice, why couldn't you just understand that he was trying to keep you safe?

“Why are you so obsessed with me? Acting like a scorned girlfriend for what?” He asked as he followed you into your apartment. His words made you halt so you turned around to glare at him.

“Obsessed? I'm just trying to be your friend”

Not a lie but not the complete truth either.

You were definitely kinda sorta obsessed with him.

“Friend? What do I need a friend for in you? What could you even offer me as a friend? You're a fucking waitress living in this dump of a place..get off your high horse a little maybe” Your eyes immediately welled up as he said that, this has gotten more serious than it needed to be, you wrapped your arms around yourself as you looked away from him.

As soon as he saw that look on your face he regretted his words. You weren't even his and he was already making you cry.

“Y/n-”

“Just go ..I won't try..I won't do anything anymore..I'm sorry i bother you so much” your lips trembled and voice cracked as you spoke and that only made him feel even more like a jerk than he usually did. He truly hated himself at that moment. He wanted to crawl to you and beg on his knees to apologize for what he had said just so you would not look so sad and so hurt, just so you wouldn't look at him like that, but instead he turned around and slammed your door shut before he entered his apartment.

As he sat down in his bathtub that night he picked up a blade and ran it over from his forearm to his wrist. He knew he'd begin to heal immediately so he just wanted to feel some pain, something other than the empty void inside his heart.

This was for your own good, he had to keep that in mind. He'd only drag you down with him and you didn't deserve that.

He leaned his head down on the edge of the bathtub, soaking in his own blood that was as black as his soul now. After that conversation Eric avoided you as much as he could, you didn't approach him either, he saw you almost everyday but you didn't even look at him anymore and every time you ignored him he somehow felt worse than before, so much so that it was getting harder and harder for him to breathe anymore.

A few days later he entered the laundry room with his load when he saw you in there at the same time. Why were you so in sync with him all the time? He couldn't escape you even if he tried his hardest.

Mrs. Bonnie was also there and as soon as she saw him she muttered something under her breath so he decided to mess with her a bit.

“Hey I was wondering if you could help me get rid of these blood spots from this shirt? I used it in one of my daily satanic rituals and it's just not coming off” Eric said to her as he walked towards her with the bloodied shirt in his hand, she glared at him for a moment before she grabbed her clothes from the dryer, murmured a prayer under her breath and walked out as fast as she could.

You couldn't help but smile even though you wanted to hate his guts after that day. How dare he make you feel like shit about yourself as if you already didn't?

“She's old, you shouldn't mess with her like that” you said as you folded your freshly dried clothes. Your back was facing him so he turned around to look at you.

“Old or not..She's a self righteous bitch” he said as he took the washer next to you, that was just an excuse to stand close to you, he just wanted to see you smile once, he hadn't been able to sleep since that night. That look of hurt in your eyes bothered him deeply.

“Well ..So are you at times” you said to him so he chuckled.

“Okay fair enough..i deserve that”

You nodded as he said that.

“Y/n”

“What?”

“I'm sorry”

Well..Finally.

“No you're not” he let out an exasperated sigh as you said that.

“I am..i didn't mean what I said”

“Why else would you say it then?”

“Because I'm an asshole, you should know that by now”

“You definitely suck at apologising” you said to him as you grabbed your laundry basket, leaving him to ponder over this.

Later that night you heard a knock on your door, when you opened it you found a piece of paper on the floor, laid upon it was a red rose. You gulped as you looked at it before you bent down to pick them up.

When you opened the folded paper, your eyes widened, it was a sketch of you and him on the terrace that night, he had drawn it from memory.

‘I'm so sorry darling’ your eyes teared up as you read the words but that wasn't all that he had written. When you flipped the drawing there was more.

‘You have been nothing but kind to me since we met even though I have never really deserved it from you, since that day in the elevator when you tried to comfort me you have always been warm and welcoming and I don't understand why because your kindness is being wasted on an imbecile like me. I was projecting my issues on you that day and I'm so fucking sorry about it, i never wanted you to feel like you weren't good enough to be someone's friend. Forgive me if you can, the truth is I'm not good enough to be your friend, I would never be able to give you whatever it is that you're looking for from me, I'd only bring you pain and sorrow. Even if I want to be in your life, I can't sweetheart and I'm so sorry if I hurt you. Don't let me hurt you anymore”

As the tears rolled down your cheeks you brought the letter close to your lips, it smelled like him. It sounded like a goodbye letter, something a man would write when he never wanted to see you again but you couldn't have that.

You needed him to know how you were starting to feel about him.

You took a deep breath before you walked inside your apartment and placed the drawing and the flower on your coffee table because you never wanted to lose it. After contemplating for a moment you knocked on his door.

He was kind of expecting you to confront him about this because you really enjoyed confronting him, he knew you wouldn't just read all that shit and then not have anything to say about it.

He just wanted you to give up on him but he also needed you to not give up on him.

You crossed your arms as you looked at his shirtless form, you came here to have a serious conversation and not get distracted by his abs.

He walked inside his apartment, that was his way of inviting you in so you stepped in and closed the door.

“Eric”

“Y/n” he looked at you as he turned around, his eyes were teary

“What is it? Why do you ..uhhhh you said you didn't understand why I was being nice to you-”

“Kind..it's different” he interrupted you and that angered you further.

“Whatever..why do you need a reason for that? Why can't you just be normal about it? Why is this such a fight for you all the time?” you asked him and with every sentence you only stepped closer to him while he took a step away from you.

“Because I don't understand why a woman like you would want to be around me..you see the darkness in me and yet you're willing to be around me ..I just don't understand it” he answered you, his voice was gruff but also sort of whiny in an adorable manner.

“You don't have to understand anything”

“I do..you don't really know what you're getting yourself into here, I'm not a good man” you sighed as he said that. He sounded like a broken record. You couldn't help but rub your forehead in frustration.

“Okay answer me this..Are you in a gang or something?” he looked at you confused before he shook his head.

“No”

“Do you hurt children, innocent women and men or animals?” you asked again, making his jaw clench in frustration.

“No I don't hurt them on purpose” he answered.

“Okay ..Are you involved in human trafficking or sex trafficking” you asked him and he was just baffled, you were trying to gauge whatever he meant when he said he wasn't a good man..

“No” he answered, his voice was meak now.

“That's good enough for me .I don't care what you do out there or why you come home drenched in blood sometimes” he looked at you in complete disbelief as you said that, why did you want to ruin your life so much?

“You should care.. there are people after me who'd use you to get to me if they get even the slightest idea that I care about you” you couldn't help but smile even though the conversation was as serious as it could be.

“You care about me..i knew that”

“Hearing selectively are you?” he chuckled, the glare he sent your way was intense though.

“Yeah, what are you gonna do about it? I don't think you want to stay away from me as much as you pretend to do ..Sooo I'm going to be a friend to you whether you like it or not”

You said to him so he groaned audibly and very loudly before placing his head between his palms, then to your shock and surprise he collapsed on his knees and began to cry, he was panicking, he had the same look on his face as he did in the elevator that night.

He was so deeply touch starved and had been for five years now since she left him, not in a sexual way, he got plenty of that but none of it filled his vacant soul, he was tired and drained from fighting his demons all alone, having no one to share his thoughts with, having no one to care for him or love him, he was so terrified of being all alone when all he wanted was to be held, to be comforted and cherished every time he woke up from a nightmare. He just wanted someone to tell him that he wasn't alone and that he wasn't too hard to be around.

That there was still a part of him that wasn't too ugly to be loved.

“They'll hurt you..i can't let anyone hurt you” he spoke as he placed his palms down on the floor, he felt nauseous and weak all of a sudden, he felt as if he was on withdrawal even though he hadn't touched drugs in years.

When you couldn't watch him like that any longer you stepped towards him and got down on your knees before you cupped his cheeks and made him look at you, the kohl around his eyes had smudged because of his tears so you wiped it away before you kissed his forehead, his arms had immediately wrapped around your waist the moment he had felt your touch, then he pulled you closer to him and placed his head down on your chest to hold you like that.

“I'm sorry..I'm so sorry about what I said” he mumbled between his cries.

“Shhhhhh shhh it's ok..you're okay, everything is okay i promise”

You mumbled softly as your fingers ran over his scalp in soothing circles, your own tears threatened to come out but you controlled yourself, you knew he was broken in ways you couldn't even begin to imagine and you wanted to help him. You wanted to hold him and comfort him, he didn't have to be alone in this, you knew how it felt to be so alone, to have no one by your side, perhaps you could be it for him and if you were lucky perhaps he'd be there for you too.

He stayed like that in your arms until he couldn't cry anymore and as his sobs quieted down slowly you pressed a soft kiss on his temple, he then pulled his head up from your chest to look at you.

He couldn't believe that he had just sobbed like a baby in your arms, he was waiting for that utter sense of mortification you get after doing something so embarrassing to kick in but it didn't, could have been because of how you were looking at him. Always with those damn eyes. He didn't see judgement in them, not a flicker of it. What he saw was a degree of acceptance and he wasn't expecting that from anyone ever again.

You brought your sleeve up to wipe his face before you leaned into him to kiss his forehead again. God you were starting to realise how deep you were falling into this thing with him.

“Do you like pizza?” you asked him as you tilted your head so he sniffled once before he nodded.

Half an hour later you were on his couch stuffing your face with pepperoni pizza when you felt his eyes on you so you looked up at him, he was sitting at the other end of the couch.

“We don't have to talk in public you know..if you're worried about my safety” he chuckled as you said that. He found you all kinds of strange.

“You're not going to ask what I do?”

“You'll tell me when you want to..good friends are patient I heard, I'm learning the art of being patient”

He'd tell you now but you wouldn't believe him, you'd think he had his brain fried from all the drugs he had taken in his youth.

“Why are you like this?” he asked you, his voice was gentle.

“Like what?”

“So…. gentle and understanding..with me” he whispered the last two words as if he didn't want you to hear it.

“You bring it out of me..I'm not like this naturally” he smiled as he put his head down on the head of the couch. You were saying but he had seen you being kind to others, like that poor chap at the diner.

Safe to say, your relationship with him changed after that interaction, he wasn't trying to be mean to you anymore, he smiled often whenever you looked at him or bumped into him. You also invited him over for dinner every night which was becoming a routine.

He craved your presence, as much as he wanted to deny it, as much as he wanted to step back, he couldn't anymore, he craved your touch and he craved being around you.

Whenever you two watched a movie you'd often scoot closer to him and put your head down on his shoulder and god he'd be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy it. You always felt so warm around him, so fucking warm around his cold self, he was a dead man walking after all but you had somehow managed to make him feel alive.

“I love this part..” you said as you pointed towards the tv as if he wasn't watching the movie with you, which to be fair he wasn't. His mind was focused on the way you were holding onto his forearm, your fingers subconsciously caressing all the scars that were riddled on his skin.

Every time he glanced down at your interconnected hands and your fingers gently grazing over his skin his face felt hot, just the sight of you holding onto him like that sent his mind into overdrive. You were so touchy with him as if you couldn't stop yourself from doing so. He wasn't sure how long this friendship would remain just a friendship if you were going to act like this around him, his thoughts often haywired, at times he just wanted to throw you down on the same couch and have you in ways he shouldn't.

A few nights later he woke up from a nightmare again but to his surprise he didn't see Melody this time, he didn't see Chance or his horse, he didn't see his Mama either, but he saw you, dying, he couldn't really see who had hurt you but you seemed to be in so much pain before you stopped breathing, you looked at him the same way they all did when they died right in front of him, when he failed all those who loved him over and over again.

As soon as he awakened he knew he had to go check on you because he felt extremely restless, the nightmare didn't just feel like a bad dream, it felt like a bad omen.

When you opened the door you were in your pyjamas and tank top as per usual, your eyes seemed squinted from the deep sleep he had awakened you from.

“Everything okay?” You asked him softly, he seemed scared and sweaty all over, you could actually see the sweat dripping down from the dip of his neck to his sternum.

“Yeah I just…jesus I'm sorry” he felt awful waking you up like that, you were safe and that's all he wanted to make sure so he turned around to leave but then you grabbed his arm and pulled him inside your apartment.

“What is it?” You asked as you looked up at him so he just shook his head in response, he didn't want to look so weak again in front of you. “Nightmare?” You asked again so he nodded finally.

“Mmmm” you mumbled as you closed the door behind him, he was expecting plenty of questions from you that he most certainly didn't want to answer but to his surprise you just dragged him to your room and removed the cover from the bed so he could get in the bed.

Well this was new.

“Get in Eric..i have a shift in the morning” you mumbled, your voice groggy but soft, it didn't come from the place of annoyance because he had disturbed your sleep but because you wanted to keep him with you after he had a nightmare, he always needed a bit of tough loving because anything else made him feel like a burden and the last thing you wanted right now was for him to be alone with his thoughts.

Your arms wrapped around his waist as you pushed him into the bed before you joined him. He was still in a bit of a hazy trance, for a moment he felt as if he was still in a dream. A beautiful dream where his beautiful neighbour slash friend was cuddling him in bed.

After you turned the lights off your body completely pressed against him, the bed was too small but he hadn't felt this safe and comfortable in such a long time.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked him as you lifted your head up from his chest so he shook his head.

“No..go back to sleep darling..I'm sorry i woke you up” he mumbled softly as he pressed his head up to kiss your forehead as gently as he could.

“You can wake me up anytime Eric, you're worth losing sleep for”

And his eyes teared up at those words.

Was he though? Was he worth losing sleep for? He wasn't. How come you had no man in your life when you were like this? So pure, so gentle, so sweet, how come no good man in this god forsaken universe had taken the time to know you, to love you and to treat you the way you deserved to be treated? If he was any normal he'd have given you all of this tenfold in return but he wasn't normal anymore was he? He was a mess and he was going to make a mess of your life as well.

“Stop running your head and sleep” he heard your bossy voice in his ear and that made him smile.

Thoughts running in his head weren't so kind to him but thoughts running in your head at the moment about him were anything but unkind, he was in your bed, you were in his arms and you had never felt at such peace the way you did right now.

You knew that's now how he saw himself but he was so beautiful to you, the thought of him being completely alone after a nightmare broke your heart, and you had a feeling he always had excruciatingly painful nightmares because he had a tough life, a terrible life even, you didn't even know everything about him yet but you knew he didn't have any support growing up, you knew his father left him when he was six and that his mum died of drug overdose when he was twelve, you knew he had lost people he had loved dearly and you just wanted to be there for him, however he wanted you to be there for him. You were willing to be his secret if that's what he needed from you.

You didn't want to label whatever this was between you two, you didn't want to jinx it as you often did every time something good happened in your life. You just wanted to live like this forever even though you knew it wasn't really possible.

Forever was a myth after all and no man could ever be content just loving you and you only, especially not forever. Especially not a man like him who deserved so much more than just you.

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

Note : Such Idiots

Taglist: @m-riaa @erebus-et-eigengrau @peachychyy

[deadfrog-and-friends]

a work in progress

It feels. That's all it can do right now. Feel. Sensations it can't interpret, can't understand. All over its new form, feeling, stimuli. Something. Holding it. Something rubbing it. Something cutting into it—ahhh…it doesn't hurt, not exactly. It's just, what if the knife slips? Cuts deep? Too deep? It cuts, it cuts, shallow cuts, deep cuts… it's frightening. So many cuts before the blade is pulled away. It's. Fine. It's safe. A soft sensation, a digit, a finger, rubs over its entire form. Smooth. Gentle. Wonderful. Suddenly it's set down, and all there is to feel is the surface beneath it.

It lays in Stillness, there, the entity, for it is not yet a doll. It is just a block of wood, well, four or five blocks of wood, that have yet to become arms and legs and a head and ball joints. The surface vibrates as things move around it. People, Animals, various Things. Voices rendered into vibrations it can only feel. A door slamming in its frame, more vibrations. It starts to notice cold and hot as well. A window left open feels colder. A cat dozing nearby feels warmer. The warmth of the hand that finally picks it up again, is warmer still, and it brings it to the stove to work on it in the firelight, which is warmest yet. An ear is carved, and it can hear.

Voices. Voices it hears first, and the crackling of the fire. The one holding it has the sweetest. Another one, nearby, has its own music. The voice of the fire is anxious, a bit, its proximity seems to be causing a thumping, thumping, in that one's chest. Low to the ground, one last plaintive voice. The cat. The one holdng it carves a second ear.

"Won't you start on that commission. Please, dear." That was the further voice.

"I will, tomorrow," says the one holding it. "I just want to finish carving poor dolly's head."

"Can't it wait?"

"It's been waiting for a month already." The one holding it brushes sawdust out of its ear and it can hear more clearly. "It's just been sitting on my desk, sometimes I even forget it's there I'm so busy. I'm shocked the cat hasn't batted away and lost half the pieces."

"I just don't know what use a doll of that size can be," says the first voice. "And with rent coming up tomorrow…hmm?" She's interrupted by a clanking noise. "Yes Duckie?"

"Mistress, supper is served," says a new, eerily flat voice.

"Well, never mind. Put that down, come eat."

"I'll be right there," says the one holding it, as the other one leaves. She adds a tiny detail to the left ear, and then the right. Satisfied, she carries that one back to the desk—one, two, three, four gentle footsteps—saying "Its use? Its purpose? Only to be loved, only to be loved, and to love me in return." A finger runs along that one's new head, over its new ears, and she hums, gentle and satisfied.

The entity that is not yet a doll finds it can mark the days now. Voices say things like "Good morning," "time for dinner," "it's late, come to bed." Gathers that the one who holds it is a witch named Felicity, beloved Felicity. The other is her partner Leticia. They run a shop together, New and Used Dolls, Drones, and Puppets—Felicity carves them new out of wood; Leticia scouts out used ones to refurbish and sell. Two dolls live with them, a wood doll of Felicity's, Fifi, who scrapes a broom across the floor a few times a day, and Duckie, a refurbed bot, who calls them for dinner. Finally, there is the cat, with the plaintive voice, and the sweet, gentle purr. The entity can feel it jump on the desk and settle next to it and start purring. This means they are friends.

Days pass and sometimes it feels its witch's hand on its form, sometimes she picks it up, fiddles with it, attaches a limb. One afternoon when the shop is dead she steals a whole hour and manages to affix its head onto its neck. She swivels it back and forth and all the way around, pleased with the smooth movement. Then Leticia comes in. Her voice almost sounds hurt. "Weren't you going to help me with that refurb? I thought—"

"Ohh…" Felicity sets her project back down, almost ungently. "Sorry, I thought… Sorry." She leaps up. "Yeah we can do that now."

The entity that is not yet a doll feels so close. Its head is attached. Its limbs are attached. From the conversation it has heard in the shop, it believes it still lacks things called eyes, a mouth, clothing, hair. If it is to be a marionette, it will need strings. Felicity will get to it, someday. It knows she will. It can't wait for the next moment she has time to pick it up, run her hand along its back. It thinks about that every few moments.

Seasons change. Hair is installed, in phases. A painful process where holes are drilled into the top of its head. "I don't remember what my original vision was, anymore," Felicity mutters. Her voice has changed, somehow. The texture of her fingers. A new person lives in the house with them. A child. The child's voice is beautiful.

"What's that, Mommy?" the entity, still not a doll, can hear it ask.

"Oh, it's a work in progress," says beloved Felicity. "Your mama gave me that beautiful wood, just enough for a small doll."

"A little dolly like that would be just the right size for, you know, a little girl."

"Are you trying to hint something, darling?" the witch says, laughing. "Maybe I teach you to make your own, hmm?"

The entity hears the child shriek with joy as the witch scoops it up and carries it away. It feels an ache, a knot in its chest.

Months pass. Sometimes the child picks it up, unfinished as it is, and carries it around the room. Puts it on the cat and laughs as the cat gets up and it falls to the ground. Pours it tea—which smells divine. (It received a nose at some point.) Reads to it from its picture books. Helpfully describes the pictures to it since it doesn't have eyes. Felicity walks in on this one day. "No!" she cries, snatching the not doll away. "No, no, no, Alice, you mustn't touch that… it's Mommy's. It's mine." She presses it to her bosom, her hands shaking. That one feels so warm, shivery almost. It feels a sob in Felicity's chest.

"Sorry, Mommy," Alice says, ashamed. "I thought…"

"You have your own dolls, don't you? Beautiful dolls, so many beautiful dolls. This is all Mommy has. Don't you understand? I'm sorry for getting upset. It's just, this is Mommy's special doll."

"B-b-but…" Alice starts to wail. Mommy puts the doll down, hastily, on the desk, and goes to comfort her.

"Look, darling," Mommy says.

"You haven't touched it in months," the child wails, "so I thought I could play with it. It's probably lonely. Don't you think it's lonely?"

The Doll hardly notices as Alice lashes out at Felicity and Felicity weeps. It hardly cares that it's alone on the desk again, still without eyes, a mouth, a single stitch of clothing, the ability to move. For what is a doll? For some it is an entity that will carry out orders, cook or clean, fight for one's cause. But for this one, it is to be loved, to be loved, and to love in return. It is a Doll.

For the next several years, Felicity only manages to paint a single eye (muttering "doesn't look quite right, does it") but that is enough for the Doll to finally see the faces of its family, Alice, the distant Leticia, Ducky, and Fifi. And the wonderful Felicity so beautiful but oh! so frail, so delicate compared to the others. She hardly works with any wood anymore. Something to do with her health. She spends more and more time upstairs, where the Doll has never been. Alice is learning the trade. She prefers making dolls with cloth. She prefers working with the refurbs. She sews that one some clothes in her spare time, along with an even smaller doll to keep it company. The cat, an old lady by now, steals it, though. Then one day, Felicity is carried downstairs and out the door. The Doll never sees her or hears her voice again. Months later, Leticia comes to clean off the desk and throw things away. She comes across the Doll, and touching it for the first time begins to weep.

End.

(inspired by @absentwriterdoll's Work-In-Progress and glitch's Resin)

[biibini]

hello!! i reaally really love your writing i reread ur mizu fics all the time i swear i have them memorized HAHA i love the way u characterize her she is so dear to me

ive never requested anything before but i was wondering if you could write something about the pet names that mizu and reader would use ?!?! i think they are so sweet ...

my little pet ₊˚ෆ

pet names modern!mizu would give you

tags: sweet mizu, nsfw later on, modern!mizu headcannons, mdni, 18+, pet names, praising, degrading tones, smut, reader is gorjus!!

a/n: and what if i called her my shayla? who gonna stop me??? ok but fr ty everyone for sending reqs and ur love ♡ i appreciate each response, rt, and comment sm mwah mwah mwah

honey

“Hi honey, how was your day?”

the typical form of endearment Mizu uses to call your name

if she’s feeling playful, she’ll say “honey, i’m homeeee” in a sing-songy voice

when she calls you this and sees your face, she smiles everytime

(she can’t help it i fear)

my pretty girl

“God, my pretty girl looks so cute.”

emphasis on the “my”

nothing in her eyes is as gorgeous as you

(she is very gorjus to me 🤓☝️)

typically used to compliment you, especially during dates

when you finish doing your makeup, she can’t stop staring at you, mumbling how well done your work is

the words can be paired with your hand intertwined with hers, the pet name gently whispered into your ear

the name can also be heard when you’re feeling hesitant about yourself, as she tries to relieve you of your doubts

sweetie

“Sweetie, I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”

typically used when talking to you in disagreements

also used when in concern for some cases

or sarcastically, if she were to push your buttons

not commonly thrown out there (buttttt i’m a big fan of it bc she can get sassy w it)

dear

“Good night dear…”

a favorite of hers

simple but sweet

usually said before placing a good night kiss atop of your lips, her hands wrapped around your body, loving every bit of you until you fall asleep

if not at night, the term is used to call you over or to get your attention

either way, she uses it very lovingly

girl

“Girl if you don’t—”

unfortunately, akemi & ringo’s lingo rubs off on you two a bit… and they can get kinda… rambunctious and witty when it comes to comebacks

usually, this pet name (if u can even call it that) is used in a teasing setting

or if you accidentally give her the wrong directions

or push her buttons in a grumpy mood

or if you bother her to the point of her snapping, ending with her tickling you until you admit defeat

i fear the silent but sassy side comes out at times when she uses this name

dearest

“Dearest, can you please fetch me a cup of freshly brewed tea?”

both of you use this jokingly

and of course, in a british accent

usually used when asking a favor or in a silly mood

the one answering must respond back in their best british accent

and mizu is lowk good with it

too good at it…

baby

“You like it like that, baby?”

when she feels more romantic and intimate, ohhhh this one WILL be used

especially in that low, deep voice when she’s really into it

a banger when y’all ban-

(oops my hand slipped)

or when she got that morning, groggy voice when she’s half away and cuddly

either way, great usage

hon

“Fuck, hon—”

a variation of “honey” that is typically used during the uh… later parts of the night

(nudge nudge wink wink)

most commonly used when she’s overwhelmed with the pleasure, slipping and forgetting her words

or when your grasp on her shoulder frantically tightens, pulling her body closer to yours while you reach your limit

or when she looks down at the sopping wet mess you two made on your lower half

sometimes, the term becomes an incentive, paired along with a rough smack or hickey on your neck

princess

“Aw princess, you want it deeper, don’t you.”

oh this one… this one is a mean one…

at times, she can be quite dominant and persistent

it may not seem like she’s degrading you, but the fakeness of her sweet tone proves otherwise

paired with her long, deep strokes, you would think you were going to ascend from the pleasure

but all you can do is nod, having little control of your moans as she rams deep inside your wet cavern

she cracks a smile at your failed attempts at answering back to her, hearing the shakiness of your voice mix with the wet noises erupting from her work

[hypnagogics]

LYSSSSSS!!!!!! oh you genius. ima start this all off by saying this is my favorite lyss work to date…you absolutely NAILED IT. the weaving of plot, the banter and dialogue, and ellie????? peak characterization, you really don't see skill like this every day. tbh sometimes it pains me you aren't able to see just how good at writing you really are, but oh well. guess i'll have to make it my life's mission to convince you! you'll believe me when i'm done, i'm sure of it :)

first of all the photo you chose— elliesgalaxy is genuinely not human methinks, how tf do you make a pixel look like that. i want to eat her.

she lingered outside, shifting her weight like she was debating whether to knock. but since this had become clockwork, you were already pulling the door open, and she shuffled inside uttering a, “don't make a big deal out of it.”

MY BABYYYYYYY. stop…no STAHPPP. i would not mind at all patching her up, my babyyyyyy she is so cute. the shuffling, the awkwardness and the silly internal battle— UGH LOVE IT. with your writing, i've noticed you are an expert in the ‘show don't tell’ idea, and i'm quite jelly!! you're a master of subtleties wherever they go,and i'm always in awe of how you paint such a vivid picture.

she'd been through hell and back.

what if i sob so hard i flood the earth huh…what are you gonna do. i just want to kidnap her and keep her safe in my basement so nothing could ever hurt her, and i'm the crazy one?

your lips pressed into a thin line, but you didn't protest further. you knew how much patrol meant to her— how she needed it. how ellie seemed to rely on it to feel like she provided something useful to jackson.

AGAIN WITH THE SUBTEXT HOW DO YOU DO THATTTTT i am going to cast a spell and steal all your talent…jk i would never do that it's all yours. but omg :( jackson is baby's home…thinking of the game's storyline and when they first got to jackson, this draws up such nostalgia. in between games one and two, i really do wonder how ellie adjusted, but before we go too far off topic i must continue to gush!

also i love love love your use of “said” when mentioning her burn, maybe i'm looking a bit too deep now, but it gives off almost a little suspicion..almost. can always count on you to be two steps ahead of all of us.

and your dialogue!!! i tell you this all the time but it's seriously so so good, i can hear the banter so perfectly in my head, TEACH ME YOUR WAYSSSSSS

i did also mention i love your use of “pitchy lilt” such a poetic description but it's so illustrative and clever!!

[...] made your stomach do something stupid.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ok normal calm zen and chill but real!!! her dorkiness istg…there's nothing better than that. like yes she makes me weak in the knees yes i want to kiss her till she's dizzy WELL, YES!

you'd both insist, later, it was simply the sting of the antiseptic anyway, as if she hadn't weathered worse injuries before.

i. need. to. calm. down. the bloody tension????? are you trying to kill me in cold blood is this what this is. i am such a sucker for almost a slow burn like this, both of them not sure, but the subconscious never lies. GOD

“i think you're helping me all the time ‘cause you've got a soft spot for me.”

YES! YES! BINGO!! YOU'D BE CORRECT!! RIGHT ON!! WONDERHOYYYYYYY BOOM SHAKALAKA YES GAWDDDD okay my heart. it's gonna fuckin explode. i will charge you for murder lyss, this isn't funny.

the whole next chunk has me literally biting my firstbecayuse first of all how dare you, secondly, this is the most perfect thing i've ever read, thirdly, the characterization is honest to god so out of this world unreal, you make me fall in love with ellie more and more, with each post. truly, no one does it like you.

".....a kiss.”

insert feral monkey noises. insert squirting noises. insert blowing up the entire world noises. insert killing myself with a gun noises. ok i have no words. wtf are you doing i will be brought to tears because of this fucken pixel its so unfair…

this fic. this fic is everything to me, you don't understand. it makes me wanna laugh it makes me wanna cry it makes me want to scream into the void— you write ellie so true to life it makes me SICK! ILL! in the best way though, always the best way. my dramatic little baby, ugh. i'd give anything in the world to kiss her until we're both suffocating, but i suppose i have to deal with something close because that isn't an option, and that's gotta be to tell you how much i adore your writing every chance i get. 💚

becoming ellie williams' personal nurse was absolutely not part of your grand plan. in fact, being ellie williams’ anything hadn’t crossed your mind until an unexpected run-in left you the only one available to patch her up after a rough patrol. you’d spoken fewer than ten times before that, but after that night, ellie unilaterally decided you were the only person allowed to help her when she got injured. you didn’t fuss as much as maria, or dina, or anyone else—and that was enough for her. or at least, that’s what she claimed. it certainly didn’t hurt that you were cute.

that's how you found yourself falling into a routine—ellie 'just happening' to show up at your door, flashing those worn green eyes and grumbling about how "it's not that bad" to garner enough pity until you inevitably caved and fixed her up, sparing her yet another lecture from maria.

tonight was no different. she lingered outside, shifting her weight like she was debating whether to knock. but since this had become clockwork, you were already pulling the door open, and she shuffled inside uttering a, “don’t make a big deal out of it.”

you sighed, already moving to nab your ever-growing stash of first-aid supplies as she dropped into your desk chair. ellie had tried to clean herself up beforehand, but it was fruitless—her green jacket, the one now being hastily shrugged off, had been covering the worst of it. a deep gash on her arm, the lingering traces of a nosebleed, fresh cuts along her cheek. she’d been through hell and back.

"ellie," your voice carried a warning as you approached, reaching out to cautiously inspect her wounded arm. "this isn't just some scrape." ellie exhaled sharply through her nose, taking the accosting while settling in the chair she'd visited many times already. "it's nothing. i don't want maria finding out and pulling me off patrols."

your lips pressed into a thin line, but you didn't protest further. you knew how much patrol meant to her—how she needed it. how ellie seemed to rely on it to feel like she provided something useful to jackson. so instead, you got to work, gently cleaning the cuts along her forearm. ellie winced as the antiseptic hit raw skin, her fingers twitching against her thigh. unfortunately, the cut had grazed her tatted arm. you made a valiant effort to be delicate enough to mend the cut without disturbing the tattoo—luckily, it had missed the chemical burn ellie said she'd gotten on that arm years ago.

"oh, stop whining," you chided over her complaints. "shouldn't you be used to the pain by now? little masochist. and what's with you aiming for this poor arm so much? you've got two to work with, you know.” ellie scoffed at your chastizing, biting the inside of her cheek as her expression shifted to annoyance but not full offense. "right, lemme plan my injuries better next time."

you dabbed at a shallow abrasion beneath her cheekbone. ellie's eyes flickered up, trying to capture yours, but you wouldn't budge from the injury. she bit her crimson-stained lip, like she was weighing her next words wisely. "you keep patching me up, though. makes me wonder... i mean, i dunno..." ellie stilted her delivery, partly out of nerves, partly to grab your attention. "maybe you like seein' me all banged up," her tone took on a pitchy lilt as she kept peeking up at you.

the way she said it—less of a tease, a tad second-guessing, trying to dare a reaction out of you—made your stomach do something stupid.

"a better patient would stop causing such a distraction," you shot back, deliberately avoiding her gaze while keeping with the 'strict nurse' facade. you couldn't suppress a hint of a smirk though, briefly wiping your mouth to try and shield the small break over her nervous attempt at flirting. you just hated how right she was—no one was forcing you to do this, to put up with her maddening stubbornness and save her hide time and time again. all ellie had to do was bat those ridiculously pretty greens, and your defenses crumbled.

ellie huffed, pleased with your accidental admission but now more determined to coax more from you. she shifted slightly—and that's when you felt it. the light press of her fingers against the dip of your waist, like she had just meant to steady herself but forgot to pull away. her fingers curled slightly into the fabric of your shirt, sending a shiver up your spine. you said nothing, pretending not to notice. maybe she hadn't even meant to. you'd both insist, later, it was simply the sting of the antiseptic anyway, as if she hadn't weathered worse injuries before. neither of you moved.

ellie couldn't disguise her beaming when your strict charade allowed the gesture. she swallowed, like she was trying to decide whether to try her luck. her fingers tapped your side, hesitant.

“i think you're helping me all the time 'cause you've got a soft spot for me."

your breath hitched, warmth creeping up your neck, but you weren't about to let her win that easily. with a little head shake, you willfully regained your composure and lightly patted ellie's uninjured cheek before schooling your expression. "hush. you're being disorderly. i can't fix you up with all this blabbering."

ellie let out an exaggerated hiss, scrunching her eyes shut dramatically. your stomach clenched in brief panic, helper mode reigniting—until you realized she was full of shit, twisting her head like she'd been mortally wounded when, in reality, you had barely touched her.

"you're impossible," you muttered, smacking her good arm lightly in playful retaliation. "your life is in my hands. don't forget that." ellie leaned forward just enough to close the space between you, her voice dropping. "yeah, yeah, and every time i show up like this, i'm choosing to put my trust in you."

she wavered briefly, then added, softer still—only brave enough to say it now because she was already committed to the bit—"and that’s also why you won’t look at me."

you froze, and the second you met her gaze, it was over—long lashes framing those round green eyes, a smattering of freckles, some loose auburn strands that had escaped her barely-held-together bun sticking to her skin from the leftover sweat of patrol. with scraped skin and blood-streaked face, ellie was a proper mess—and yet, here you were, fighting every aching urge screaming at you to throw yourself on top of her.

you swallowed hard. the unassuming, bashful, loserish ellie was nowhere to be found. replaced by an ellie probably still riding the adrenaline of her close call with a horde of infected earlier, caring a little less about the consequences of her words and even further fueled by your easily cracked stoicism.

ellie seized your defeated, flustered silence to keep going. "also, as my nurse, i'm surprised you don't know the best cure for any injury."

you inhaled to brace for whatever nonsense was about to come out of her mouth. "oh, yeah? what's that?"

".....a kiss."

a drawn-out groan escaped you. "jesus," you muttered, cheeks burning. but fine—just this once. you weren't giving in completely, but you leaned in, pressing a fleeting peck to the tip of her nose.

the way ellie's face immediately split into a stupidly giddy grin was almost worth it. almost. her whole expression flushed a rosy pink, too.

"oh, on the nose? that barely counts," ellie teased, her voice dipping into something softer, more expectant. definitely hoping she hadn’t pushed her luck too much.

"deal with it, williams," you murmured, but your mind was already betraying you.

despite your best efforts, you couldn’t stop yourself from wondering what it would be like if you really gave in. if you disregarded all medical safety and climbed into her lap and kissed her senseless, letting your hands explore each other in desperation and recklessly savoring the taste of metallic red left on her soft lips.

snapping yourself from that less-than-holy thought, you deflected under the guise of needing to retrieve more supplies for another small cut you had overlooked.

when you came back, ellie was still watching you, something unreadable in her expression. you hesitated for a moment, then finally gave her a little glimmer of hope to cling to.

"tell you what," you started. "don't be an idiot—which i know is hard for you—and let everything heal," you let the jab sit for a second to build suspense, "and i’ll grant you the other half of that kiss."

ellie's smile widened triumphantly, though her posture was beginning to laze as exhaustion from the day's chaos caught up with her.

"anything for the nurse."

"yeah, yeah. now hold still so i can finish fixing you up."

and, for once, ellie williams actually listened. pic creds @/elliesgalaxy

[crunchyheartbeat]

Sheepherder Simon (pt.2)

TW: None

Sorry this one feels a little rushed but I haven’t posted in a good while so I’m trying to get back into the flow of it.

A few months have passed since you found Simon laying out on your lawn, broken and twisted with his sheep stuck to his hip.

You helped him repair himself, making sure his wounds were clean every night, applying ointments, and laying out dry bedsheets on the couch.

When You allowed Simon to stay that one night you would not have guessed it would turn into this. Making two plates of food every night, buying his favorite bourbon to stack in the cabinet, or washing his laundry while he tends to the animals.

You know in your gut it’s wrong, to be looking at him the way you do, to compare him to the man you lost, but sometimes you put all of that under lock and key, especially when he has his eyes on you when the night sets low and the only sound is the humming of your voice.

You swear the look in his eyes is of a man that has found a golden treasure. He doesn’t talk as much as he did the day you found him, but when he does it’s so gentle. He comes up to you and hooks his finger onto yours to make sure he has your attention, because he truly wouldn’t want anyone else’s.

Little to your knowledge, Simon can see the struggle that you hide when when your longing for him. It’s like a battle being fought that he doesn't have the info for. He can feel your heart beat quicken when he bends down close to you to pick up something, or when he purposely takes his shirt off in the living room after work, claiming that “A man that works hard should be allowed to walk around shirtless in any home”.

He knows that he needs to do something that could have you seeing him for him, not a man that use to be there.

You watch your hands as you set the mason jars inside the pot of water, when you can feel his presence close to you. His chest pressed to your back and his hand slowly grazing your thigh.

“Y/n” he crumbles out, making sure to keep his voice low and steady.

“You have been here to long y/n” you can hear him take a deep breath, debating on what chosen words he should say next.

“Your soul, your body, your mind is glued to this place, this house that no longer served you any purpose. I see the pictures you have turned around on the walls, the cups you don’t touch in the cabinet, the looks you give me. It’s time to let go y/n, let me take you. Let me have you as one. Let me take you back home with me”.

You feel your hands start to tremble and your breath quicken, how could you leave all of this behind. This has been your life for years, being married and trying for children while tending to a farm. How could you leave the place you very much built your whole life around, but when it come to looking in Simon’s eyes, the desperation he has and the creases in the his forehead, you wonder if maybe there was something holding on to him too.

Feeling his hands grab your waist and his face nuzzle against your check you let yourself wonder for a second, a life on a different farm. That maybe this was your chance to have what you wanted and try to start living for yourself again, with the help of him, instead of living in this shell that has the scent of another.

Maybe it’s time to let go and allow yourself to be loved.

I hope you enjoyed!! I also love this gif lol.

[cvrnelians]

nightmare pt. II

dark!Frank Castle x reader: Months of confinement begin to make you question who your captor really is, and who he is to you.

warnings: kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, 18+ only.

PART ONE

He says he would never hurt you.

Somewhere deep down, though, you can sense that Frank understands. He is not stupid, nor does he live in a state of delusion. He is a confrontational person, you can tell, and he readily confronts reality. He knows how much you hate him. It hurts him, but you can tell he was fully prepared for it. He is kind and patient with you because he knows you don’t deserve this. He knows you deserve to be happy, to be free. He knows he is hurting you, in spite of what he says. He also knows he doesn’t have to cause you physical harm in order to leave a mark.

You used to think you were good at reading people. It was a gift of yours, your own little superpower. You were skilled at assessing for intention, at predicting what someone’s next move might be. 

Frank, however, is an exceptionally difficult person to read. 

Concentration can get confusing when you’re afraid. It’s anxiety inducing, it’s debilitating, it’s tiring. But mostly, being around Frank feels unbearable. Whenever he is around, it’s like your mind has forged a new path, nestled securely in a state of purgatory. Both hypervigilant and distracted, frantic yet focused. 

You don’t understand this. You don’t understand him. You don’t understand why you’re here, or what he wants from you. You become so frustrated you could cry, and sometimes you do.

You don’t understand.

Your nerves send your mind spiraling in one hundred different directions, playing out scenarios of what he’s going to do, what he’s going to say, how this is going to end. It’s too hard to focus on any single one. It’s too hard to narrow down what the most likely scenario is. It’s too hard to predict the unpredictable.

The silence between the two of you—even the little silences, the moments where you’re waiting for him to respond to something you’ve said or done—is like pulling teeth. It’s frustrating and complicated, but it’s also relatively simple. 

Whenever he is around, you feel like you’re going to collapse. 

And so you have. You’ve fainted twice now in his presence. Once when you first arrived, when you first found yourself in the dark of the basement. Once more when he came home—“home,” the word makes you feel ill—covered in blood and cuts and bruises. You knew full well why he allowed you to see him like that. It was a warning. An “I’m not hurting you, but I could.” A big, shining example of “look at what I’m capable of.” As if you didn’t already know.

He explained things differently.

“I want to know every part of you, even the parts you’re not proud of,” he had said. “It’s only fair that you know me, too.”

You’re perched up on a pedestal in his mind, and you can’t help but wonder when all will come crashing down. But then again, he’s seen you at your worst, at your most human. He’s seen you scream and cry and beg and barter. He’s seen you get violent—or attempt to, anyway. It wasn’t difficult for him to protect himself from your hits and blows, but he has never hurt you. Not once. 

Not anywhere anyone could see. 

Not like anyone else had seen much of you lately. In fact, no one had seen you for quite some time now, no one but him. You weren’t sure if it was out of sympathy or malice; knowing Frank, he probably thought it was the former. He saw it as doing you a kindness. He let you keep track of time. 

Six months. 

Six whole months, you had been here.

He says that he never does to people that which isn’t deserved. You are still not sure what he means by that, but the injuries he comes home with give you some ideas. 

You know he’s been through something terrible. He has to have been. People don’t become this twisted without having endured some sort of traumatic event. You just don’t know what. You know he’s deathly afraid of losing those he loves. You know you are included in that category, for whatever reason. 

It’s weird in retrospect. To you, Frank was just another guy at the bar. He was one of your regulars, stopping by for a drink or two every few nights for the past two years. You had just barely gotten to know him by the time he made the decision to alter the course of your life entirely. 

He had kept to himself. He gave off the impression that he didn’t want to be bothered, and yet, he made it clear that he liked you. He was a good tipper. He made you feel safe and protected when patrons would get rowdy, when they would get rude with you. He even fixed up your car once when it broke down in the parking lot. 

“I take care of you,” he said. “You see that, don't you?"

He wears his guilt like a blanket. It’s not hard to see. Shame dictates everything he does, from the careful way he speaks to you to the gentle way he holds you at night. He is soft with you, affectionate. When you’re in the quiet of your home—“home”—all of his hard edges are stripped away. It makes you feel a little special. You wonder who else has seen this side of him.

He says he would never hurt you, and he’s remained true to his word. 

Concentration can get confusing when you’re afraid. It becomes difficult to sustain. You can start to go into shock, a state in which you forget why you are where you are and why. When you’re being told one thing and experiencing another, you naturally begin to question your reality. Your days are filled with “I love you’s” alongside escape attempts, your nights filled with moments of comfort in the arms of someone you despise. 

You dread Frank’s presence, and yet, you jump at every little noise when he’s not around. And sometimes, when you’re in that warm, heady space between sleep and consciousness, you are simply there—just you and the man that loves you.

You are alive. You are awake. You are afraid. You are loved. You are confined, trapped, terrified. You are a lot of things.

“I want to know every part of you,” he had said.

You’re not even sure you know every part of you.

Not now. 

Not anymore.

[sc0tters]

Could Get Used To This | Kevin Fiala

summary: in a space full of chaos, sometimes all you need is a morning at the beach with your fiancé.

request: yes/no

warnings: nothing!

word count: 0.99k

authors note: we are back again with part two of the one shot wonder event! this was my first time writing for Kevin and I have to say it was nice to write something so soft and sweet even if it was so short!

You loved the sun. 

A day by the beach had always been your favourite way to kick off the summer and this year it was no different. You spent your morning lying on your towel, soaking up every bit of sunlight your skin could handle. 

But Kevin had other ideas for the both of you “liebling!” He whined feeling jealous of how your bikini got to hug your ass and your tits “yes love?” You looked up to see him now stood over you. 

He had just finished his swim so you were grateful that your sunglasses hid how your eyes drank in the sight of him. Droplets of water ran down his chiseled abs, and you couldn’t help but bite at your lip “good to know I still have it.” Kevin smirked sitting down on his towel next you yours. 

You sat up, rolling your eyes in the process “think this allows me to look at you from time to time.” You pointed to the engagement ring that you wore making him laugh in the process “please you were looking at me like that long before I proposed.” He shot back letting out an amused scoff. 

Your hand reached up to hold his “now what is it that you wanted?” You asked reminding him of the fact that he called you first.

He let out a soft ‘ah’ as his cheeks turned a shade of red “I wanted to see if you wanted to go home.” Kevin confessed letting his free hand fiddle with the strap of your bikini “give us a little more privacy.” There was a sultry sense in his tone that told you all that you really needed to hear. 

A smirk formed on your lips “seems like you’re the one who is obsessed with me.” You teased him leaning into his touch “you know I always am.” Kevin nodded getting up as if it was the most obvious thing in the world to everyone around you both. 

He held his hand out to help you up “and there won’t be a day that it’ll change.” Your heart throbbed as he wrapped your towel around your body before he threw his over his shoulder “should we go?” Kevin asked taking the beach bag into his hand before he used his free hand to lock it into yours. 

You nodded, slotting your feet into your flip-flops “lead the way.” You pressed a kiss against his shoulder, enjoying the last moments of listening to the waves crashing against the shore.

The walk to and from the beach was something that both of you always found so peaceful with it only being ten minutes. That was actually part of the whole appeal of your home when you bought it. 

It was the first place you had seen and the moment Kevin saw the grin on your face at how short the walk to the beach was. He knew that there was no better place for the two of you, and the offer was written and sent in that night. By the end of the week after, the place was yours. Now even after all these years, it still came with the same appeal that you both found in it the first time you saw it. 

You couldn’t help but smile as you watched him race to the gate and then wait so he could let you into the backyard first “my gentleman.” You smiled pressing a kiss against his cheek as you took the bag back from him “thank you baby!” The moment you were in he went back to what he was planning on. 

Kevin had jumped into your pool first making you laugh as you set your bag on the ground “the water is perfect!” He called out throwing his hair back out of his eyes. 

Sometimes you never had to wonder what he would do if he retired, Kevin would happily be a child of the water forever if he could “let me get my feet in first.” You announced wanting to sit on the edge of the pool for a little bit. 

He nodded, watching your every move until you too took off your sunglasses “there’s my pretty wife.” Kevin smiled swimming over to settle between your legs “not for a few more months.” You corrected him as your wedding was three months away. 

But he waved you off “fine print details.” Kevin shook his head as he made you throw your head back with a laugh.

It was a sound he swore he’d never get tired of hearing as you grinned looking back at him “I love you.” Kevin announced placing his hands on the pools edge on either side of you. 

He did that so he could push up to kiss you. The kiss was sweet as he swore he would never get enough of you “I love you too.” Your voice was soft as you watched him settle back in the pool “and I also love you.” Kevin pressed a kiss against your stomach, it had been a few weeks since you found out you were pregnant. 

So at the moment this stayed just your little secret with him “now you coming in or do I have to force you in?” Kevin asked not even giving you a chance to respond as he wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you in. 

Like clockwork your arms wrapped around his shoulders and your legs locked around his hips “Kevin!” You squealed scared as if he was going to drop you “I’ve got you schatz.” Kevin clicked his tongue before he kissed your temple. 

He was right the water was indeed perfect, his hands rested against your ass as he settled with both of you in the water “you are a little shit.” You let out a soft laugh before you shook your head. 

Kevin grinned pecking your lips once more “yeah and I’m your little shit.” He was right again, and you didn’t want to have it any other way. 

[timbreworks]

Soft Dusk

Glinda lay in bed with her partners, snuggled up to Elphabas chest, her wifes arm around her with Fiyero at her back, one arm holding a sleeping Liir to his chest and the other around Glinda as well.

The blonde caresses Elphabas swollen belly as she lies awake. One would think her thoughts are troubled, but not tonight. tonight she simply couldn't go back to sleep after going to the bathroom. She has the whole next two days set aside to spend time with her partners and Liir, plenty of family activities planned, both indoors and out.

But for now she just lets her hand wander over the smooth, taut skin of Elphabas very pregnant stomach, she can feel their child moving ever so slightly, every now and then gently pressing up against her hand. Elphaba told Glinda she could feel their bond already. How their child soon calmed at her presence.

While Liir was an easy pregnancy for her first one, he was still very active during the later months and there was not much anyone could do about it. not even Fiyero caressing and speaking to the unborn child. but Glinda, Glinda can keep the restless kicks and punches at bay to keep her wife comfortable. and right now that's all she could ask for.

Glinda slides down Elphabas body to kiss over her belly, their child softly touching where her lips rest "My darling little one. Hi. its your Popsicle, you're doing so great for your Mumsie, your brother was so much trouble, but you're nice and calm. I wonder if she was like this, calm, quiet" she murmurs directly against Elphabas belly, caressing up along the sides to her ribs and then back down.

The good witch goes back up to snuggle against her wifes ribs, content to stay under the covers and sleep right here on her. Is she going to overheat? Probably. does she care? Never.

Glinda ends up falling asleep cupping elphabas belly under the navel. Her head under a breast, snoring away. For once its Elphaba that wakes up in a hot flash, trying to sit up, but finding herself pinned under her darling wife, the boys having kicked off the blankets and turned to the far side of the bed where Glindas radiant heat can't touch them.

She manages to sit up enough to caress glindas sweaty head, booping her nose "My sweet" she whispers simply, and Glinda groans awake at just the utterance of her pet name "Darling?" she groans as she stretches and hugs her "Mmmm, warm" she murmurs into her rib, having enough wherewithal to dodge a nipple. "Too warm" Glinda groans, wrestling with the blanket to throw it off.

"You know its bad when i wake up before you. and you chased away our boys" Elphaba teases as she gestures to the other end of the bed "More room for us" Glinda murmurs as she discards the blanket and spoons to her wifes side "I love this…but you're sticky" Elphaba murmurs as she kisses her cheek "I don't care, we can deal" Glinda murmurs, going to kiss her lips fully.

Despite being around 8 months pregnant, Elphaba can still pick up Glinda, even with as long and lanky as she is, taking her to her favorite chase lounge to snuggle in "Here, now we have all the room, a cool surface to lay upon and we won't smother our husband and son" Elphaba teases as Glinda clings to her side "You're right" she yawns "This is much better" she says as she entwines their legs, an arm around the back of her neck, a hand on her belly and her face tucked into her neck.

Glinda is out in moments, leaving Elphaba to caress and watch her wife sleep. Thinking about their future, how much fun this is going to be, how everything paid off. How she did find a place where she belonged, with her partners, their child, soon to be children. With only a few people hating her existence.

Sometimes she wishes her father and Nessa were around to see her flourish, but she knows they're better off dead and gone, because while yes, it would be satisfying to shove this in their faces, it wouldn't do anything, she still wouldn't be good enough for them. However, she is good enough to the two people that truly matter, the two people she shares her heart, her life and her bed with. With them everything is finally right in Oz

[grlmmjow]

Using the tadpole to show Astarion his face

Hi! This is... my first time coming back to tumblr after a long streak of inactivity. BG3 and Astarion brought me back.

I'm on my fourth run, my first dark urge. And I'm literally obsessed with them. I have a nice little story building up with Amara, my durge, and Astarion.

For now, I've just written a reimagining of the mirror scene in camp. I believe we've all always wondered why we have never showed him his face with the help of the tadpole... Well. It's now canon that Amara did that for Astarion in my run. And here is how it went!

I hope you enjoy! And please, keep in mind that English is not my first language. I do my best, though.

Rating: non-explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Dark Urge (Amara)

Word Count: 2014.

Summary: It's just the mirror scene reimagined to stream Astarion's face directly into his brain like we've all dreamed to do once.

It was a chilly night, despite the summer. 

Amara had been feeling a wave of… almost calmness for the first time in weeks. Shadowheart was tending the fire, Gale was lost in his tomes… Even Karlach seemed to be entertained enough with Wyll.

For the first time in weeks, they had an objective. A goal. And they stopped running around in circles, scared to know if there were going to be slimy tentacles in their future. They liked each other enough to be able to begin to form friendships. Which was a lot, considering Amara had no memory of her life prior to waking up on that beach. 

Despite everything.. Amara was feeling content. Having a goal was good. Having friends was good. The need to slaughter and maim was… controlled, somehow. And her stomach was full with very nice food. Gale was a surprisingly good cook, after all.

Tonight is a good night…

“Another thing I’ve lost!” The distinct tone of a certain vampire spawn interrupted her calmness, and she felt a wave of irritation wash over her, the magic in her veins crispling and itching to soar through her fingertips. Ugh. Having to control her dark urges wasn’t enough, apparently. She also had to be very careful dealing with her wild magic. Last time she let go, she transformed half the party into cats and dogs. Oh, she swears Karlach is still cackling to this day about that.

Her mismatched eyes focused on the source of the noise. Astarion seemed to be cursing a hand mirror, bending down to pick the pieces of the glass he just shattered against the ground. She decided to approach him, feeling confident that he liked her enough to keep her company. They had had a very pleasant night together, after all. Sometimes, she still wondered if he took her virginity that night. There’s no way to know what she had been up to in her past life.

“Hey. That was a nice mirror.” She mentioned, trying to sound casual, but startling the vampire. He seemed to be on edge, and he turned around to glare at her, a faint moment of vulnerability showing through before his calm mask slipped back on and he turned that frown upside down. 

“Oh, why hello there, darling.” He said in his silky tone. Amara had to hold back an eye roll. That had to be the fakest smile she’s ever seen in her life. Which, to his credit, is not long enough, considering her amnesia. 

She had begun to understand him. To see him. His demeanor, his nightmares, the way he tensed when an enemy restrained him one specific way…  

The way he refused to lock eyes with her when they made love two nights ago.

“Why did you do that, Astarion?” She asked, pointing at the mirror. The question seemed to ruin his mood. 

“Oh, you know. I had a moment of… weakness. It’s nothing that won’t pass in the morning. Don’t you worry, darling.”

Again with the silky tone and the endearing terms. She had been beginning to hate the way it sounded so fake in her ears. Couldn’t he trust her enough not to be perfect every time they interacted?

“Will it?” She raised an eyebrow, stepping a bit closer to him. He didn’t seem to mind the closeness outwardly, but his jaw clenched at her proximity. 

“Yes.” He said, lowering his chin and narrowing his eyes to send the message. He didn’t enjoy showing weakness. That much was clear. 

“Alright.” She said, not believing him for a moment. She knew he had.. a lot of issues. His former master and torturer made sure he didn’t live a day free of his torment, not even after being snatched away from his grasp. 

She watched him gather the pieces of glass in his hands, and seemed surprised for a moment when she realized what was upsetting him. His fingers weren’t being reflected in the mirror, even if he was holding it in his hands.

Oh.

That must be terribly upsetting for a creature that lived for vanity. 

“...Were you upset that you couldn’t see your face?” She asked bluntly, and Astarion recoiled. He really, truly didn’t want to talk about this. But something in the way she spoke to him, with curiosity instead of disgust, made him turn his gaze at her. 

“I… Yes.” He answered, setting the pieces of the mirror on the table next to him outside his tent. “I’ve never even seen this face. Not since it grew fangs and my eyes turned red.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“Not even… in the water?”

“No reflections, darling. That’s how it works.” 

He seemed irritated. Amara wanted to ask him a lot more instances and examples of ways he could have seen his reflection… but she imagined he had already tried everything.

The sorcerer tilted her head. She studied his features, considering that it was such a shame that he didn’t get to preen in a mirror, considering just how handsome he was. 

But then, a thought occurs to her. She gasps, clasping her hands together in front of her. “... And what about mind reading?”

Astarion scoffed. “Mind reading?” But there was the slightest hint of hope in his tone, in his gaze. There it is, Amara thought. Finally. A bit of sincerity.

“Yes. We have been using it all the time. I can hear your thoughts, Astarion. Why couldn’t I just… show you your face like that?”

“What?” He froze, the only movement in his face was the rapid blinking of his eyelids as he processed the information. “You would do that for me?”

Amara looked almost flabbergasted. Why the hells is he doubting me, again? She tried to swallow down her irritation, and nodded as an answer.

“Yes, Astarion. I will show you your face. Come here.” 

She stepped closer to him, close enough for their chests to brush together. Her gaze lifted as his own dropped, his red eyes meeting her green and brown stare. She felt him studying her freckled cheeks, and for a moment felt self-conscious. Such a beautiful creature was surely making a judgement on every imperfection on her skin. 

“Close your eyes.” And he listened, surprisingly letting out a long sigh without a protest. Amara’s hands came to rest on his shoulders, and Astarion leaned in to press his forehead against Amara’s. She needed a moment to school her rapidly beating heart. He’ll know if you get too excited. Calm down, damn you!”

Closing her own eyes, Amara took a deep breath, focusing first on not letting her magic ruin this moment. She needed to make sure nothing wild happened. She was sure Astarion wouldn’t trust her again if he was suddenly turned into a sheep.

After a few moments, she felt confident enough to reach into her head and call for her tadpole. Soon enough, their minds were connected. She felt Astarion’s reluctancy at her prodding. He was a very private person, considering he never had such a thing in his 200 years of slavery. Well, she could respect that. But it would be impossible for her to show him his face if he kept building walls around his mind.

“Astarion.” She scolded. “You need to let me in.” 

Astarion hissed. “I know.” He sounded tense. But there was eagerness there, too. He seemed to be battling between his fear and his desperate need to know how he looked like. 

Finally, vanity won, and Amara felt the walls crumbling. A gasp left her lips as she got a glimpse of the man’s mind. And, gods. It was absolutely overwhelming. The anxiety and fear he felt at everything that surrounded him paled in comparison to the crippling terror he harbored for Cazador. Amara tensed, jaw clenching as she felt herself unable to pull away from that. She wanted to keep looking. She wanted to know. 

“Don’t go there.” Astarion growled, shifting his feet in front of her. His eyes opened, and Amara saw herself in his mind's eye.

“Sorry.” She apologized, and quickly looked away. “Let me concentrate. Close your eyes.”

Astarion grumbled something unintelligible but complied, closing his eyes again. Amara sighed, and began to focus on her task. She licked her lips and imagined Astarion, standing there in his camp clothes, playing with his dagger. It was a sight she enjoyed a lot. She wondered if Astarion felt the feelings associated with it, and felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her.

“Focus, woman.” He sounded eager, ignoring her embarrassment and forgetting momentarily about his composed and charming façade. He was going to see his face. His face. She couldn’t ruin it for him with her stupid lust.

“Yes. Sorry. Let me look at you.” Amara, then, opened her eyes and pulled away from that odd embrace they shared. She watched his face as he kept his eyes closed. She focused on his eyebrows, the way his eyelashes tickled the skin of his cheeks, his straight nose, his full lips, that cute little mole under his left eye…

Ah… What a beautiful man. The sight made her smile.

“Gods…” Astarion gasped as the picture was shown directly into his brain. He kept his eyes closed as a tentative hand lifted to trail two fingertips down his cheek. “I… I’m so pale…”

Amara raised an eyebrow. Is that what he is focusing on? She refrained from making a comment, though. Astarion seemed to be fascinated with himself. 

The wandering hand that was caressing his cheek lifted up to run through the stray locks of hair that graciously fell over his forehead. A grin spread on his face, “Oh! I knew I had the best hair in camp– Shit! I have wrinkles when I smile?!”

His panicked tone made Amara laugh. She shook her head. “You look perfect, Astarion.” But he didn’t look satisfied with that. His fingers prod at the lines on the corner of his eyes.

“Come closer. Come. Amara. Closer.” She obeyed, stepping close to him, her eyes focusing on what seemed to be the problem. She’s always found his laughing wrinkles adorable. She made sure to let him know that through the tadpole connection.

“Why, aren’t you sweet, darling?” He snickered, seemingly in a better mood than before the conversation started. Amara turned bright red under her freckles. 

“S-Shut up.” It was a compliment, but it backfired into making her feel embarrassed. Her eyes now fell to his lips, and Astarion raised an eyebrow at the gesture. 

“Concentrate now, darling. I’m not done looking at myself.”

Gods, this will take all night. Amara listens, focusing on the rest of his features. The way his hair curls around his ears. That dangerous smile. Those sharp, piercing eyes of his… 

“Mmm… Good. Good.” He shook his head, satisfied with what he was seeing. Amara could feel that, once again, his playful demeanor was nothing but a façade. The tadpole connection betrayed his true feelings of wonder, fascination and emotion. She mentioned nothing, knowing that it would only make him clam up further.

“Alright, I’m done… Now, just tell me I’m beautiful, and we can call it a day…” He teased, finally opening his eyes to gaze into Amara’s, finally satisfying his curiosity.

The elf tensed under that piercing stare. She didn’t look away, her voice nothing but sincere. “You are beautiful.” 

“Observant.” He stared at her for a few seconds, as if studying her. He broke the connection suddenly, and Amara grunted, bringing a hand up to rub her forehead. What was he hiding? His face betrayed nothing.

“You see,” He started, “mirrors aren’t much use, but having someone else project your face directly into your brain is… Different. I could definitely do worse.”

Amara is still reeling from being so close to him and having such a direct connection to his feelings. The mind-shattering fear concerned her, a lot. She’d have to keep an eye on that.

“Thank you, Amara. I won’t forget this gift.”

A smile. Her heart fluttered when he pronounced her name. 

“You are welcome, Astarion.” 

[redcamellia13]

What the. What the actual hell. I- could somebody explain to me how the heck a throw-away blog made just over two months ago has somehow amassed 1,000 likes?

Just like last gratitude post, I’m so sorry if I seem like I’m dissatisfied or disappointed with this milestone, it’s simply because I’ve run out of ways to express how thankful I am.

😅😅😅😅😅

I’m really not sure how to express my gratitude anymore, so I’m going to begin listing all of my strongest supporters.

Yes, that’s you, @theducklord5, @aheartfullofquestions, @musicalmoritz, @frogwithaflowercrown, @blondesillyboylover, @itzyukoo, @lavender-peach-tea, @neversam, @nam-the-nacho and probably several others I am neglecting to mention (sorry! Please bear with me, my sanity’s hanging on my a thread- I’m basically running on caffeine and sugar)

I am so, so grateful to all of you for your help and patience with my spotty upload schedule, and generally low quality posts. Seriously, how do you people still support me despite my never ending struggle with constant reblogs, unoriginal ideas…

Nevertheless, I am still just in awe of this huge number. I think I’m going insane!

Now, onto the blogs that are the standard I hope to live up to, the people that are so kind, passionate, respectful, intelligent, and charismatic you sort of have to question if they’re real. (I mean that in a good way.)

I hope to have reflected some of your wonderful qualities in my own posts, and I sincerely hope you understand my pure admiration for you all.

To @god-damnit-vinne, how could I start this dedication with anybody else? The amount of charm and enthusiasm that pours out of your posts is astounding, and you are actually my first Tumblr… friend(?) Mutual? I still remember when you replied to my post, the first I had ever received- it made me so happy I spent the rest of the day smiling until my face hurt. Honestly, you are the one of the nicest guys I’ve met, period.

To @pollen-blogs, we probably aren’t exactly friends, but I do hope you remember my username. Your writing style is so clear and crisp, it makes your posts and fanfics simply fun to read! Also, your art is impeccable- truly, the whole package.

To @sakuraswifee, I am simply in awe of the amount of passion in your posts. I’m not sure if passion is the right word, but reading your posts always brings a smile to my face since you always seem to love what you’re talking about :).

To @thelunarfairy, I realize that you definitely don’t know me, but I certainly know you. Your posts and analyses are the gold standard in my mind, something all my other posts should live up to, and the way you state things makes it so easy to understand.

To @itzprismosblog, you were the second interaction I’ve had on Tumblr. You probably don’t remember, but it gave me motivation to keep posting, since at the time I was getting used to an extremely demanding new routine. Your art is stunning, and your blog never fails to make me laugh :)

To @cupidsappllie, even if your blog wasn’t one of the most entertaining I’ve seen here on Tumblr, you would probably make it here on kindness alone. If I had to shoot a guy every time you single handedly pulled me out of a posting slump, I would be arrested for murder.

To @saturnssky, my second Mutual on Tumblr. Everything on your blog feels so genuine, like I’m sitting across from you at a cafe having coffee together, and it’s this wonderful feeling of closeness that I feel really makes your blog special, and it’s something I can only hope to replicate. Additionally, you’re one of my greatest supporters, so I’m so thankful for your unending patience.

To @ocelotlesbian, merely interacting with you online has sometimes made me happier than I have been during the entire week. The way you write feels like I can hear your voice flowing through your posts, and you just seem like a nice person I’d be lucky to befriend in person.

And to all the people that didn’t get specific mentions but have still supported my blog in any way, please know I am still so thankful for everything you’ve done.

My head is still spinning from the realization that I’m not just screaming into the void anymore, people are actually seeing what I’m writing.

As always, here’s to more poor writing, badly constructed theories, and character analyses that make no sense.

[the-sin-hole]

headrush

stanxreader flashfic, 1k words gender neutral, smoking, no warnings apply

+++

“I don’t give a shit what Saturn looks like,” Stan says, trying to sound abrasive, but the smile forming around the unlit cigarette between his lips betrays him. “S’far as I’m concerned what happens up there is nunna my business ‘til some aliens come down here and try to abduct me.”

You’re standing in the yard of the Mystery Shack under a sea-dark sky slathered in bright white pinholes. Stan threw another party at the Shack and most of the cleaning fell to you two. A month ago you’d expect him to order the kids do it. But you’ve watched him soften over the weeks since they came, and tonight he only made them clean up half of all the spilled drinks and tracked-in dust and scattered confetti before allowing them to call it a night. He toothlessly harangued you to stay late and help under the guise of owing him one after letting you drink all the Pitt from his fridge yesterday, but you didn’t need convincing. It was enough just to spend one on one time with him.

After doing a perfectly respectable half-assed cleaning job, the two of you retired to sit on the porch for some well earned smokes. Stan quit for the sake of the kids, but sometimes he can’t help himself from bumming a stray or two from you. You handed him one before he even asked as you stepped outside into the warm summer night air. You were immediately struck by the sky, letting in a small gasp of air at the sight of so many clear stars. You pulled Stan by the crook of his arm into the grass with you and started pointing out the celestial entities you were familiar with. Stan wasn’t looking at any of it. His eyes were fixed on you.

Your voice faltered as you pointed out Saturn, when your eyes darted back to him and found his gaze. It was unreadable. Part of you thought, if you tried really hard, you could see something in that gaze that looked a little soft. The thought made something in your gut writhe.

You broke the eye contact, instead putting the cigarette in your mouth and holding up your lighter to its end. It took a few spins of the flint wheel but it lit, and you pulled in the meager flame, sucking the filter several times in quick succession to let the heat gain purchase before letting the lighter falter. You handed it to Stan, risking regained eye contact and catching his small smile just as he claimed his indifference to the stars.

You snort and roll your eyes at the bold proclamation. “Oh wowwww, mister cool guy here is too big and tough to care about the vast wonder of space, huh?”

“You better believe it,” he replies, tilting his head down to meet the lighter in his hand and shifting the cigarette between his teeth at the front of his mouth. He spins the wheel a couple times to no avail, a little harder each time, furrowing his brow as he repeats his attempts. “What’s space ever done for me, anyway?”

You smile as you pull on your cigarette. He makes a frustrated “Eh” as more clicks of the lighter prove fruitless. His eyes dart up and he looks at you through his thick grey brows— his gaze is once again unreadable, but it sends something through you. He’s been doing that to you a lot, lately. Just being close to him can make your heart beat fast, something that at first was highly frustrating, but now you can’t help yourself from chasing the small highs, each casual graze against his arm or lingering eye contact feeling just as good as a deep inhale of fiberglass and nicotine.

You’re about to interrupt your current inhale to ask why he’s looking at you when his eyes dart down to your lips.

He reaches a hand up and lightly grabs your jaw, four fingers on one side, thumb on the other. You feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach. Heat radiates from that gut punch through your entire body in an instant. The two fingers you had gently resting on either side of the filter in your mouth twitch, almost flinging the cigarette out of your mouth entirely. His eyes are cast down, not looking you in the face, which you’re grateful for, as you’re sure you look ridiculous. You can feel your eyes widening, the heat flooding your face.

Stan leans in. The smoke you just inhaled is now caught swirling in your lungs as you hold your breath. He positions the tip of his cigarette to yours, the fingers grasping your jaw tightening just a little bit to make sure you don’t throw off the alignment. He purses his lips and draws in the heat, igniting it. He could pull away now, if he wanted. But he draws just a few more times. After seconds that stretch into an eon he slowly leans back. He leaves the fingers on your jaw for just a moment longer than he needs to. Just long enough to send another punch to your gut.

His hand finally leaves you, moving to the filter in his mouth, ready to take it once he’s finished his first long drag. He straightens up and finally meets your eyes once again. You’re still holding your breath. He removes the cigarette from his lips and exhales through his nose, the smoke coming out in great furls. You can see a slight smile behind the smokescreen as he says,

“Space is for suckers. I got everything I need right down here.”

You finally pull the filter from your mouth. His eyes dart down quickly to watch you let out a deep exhale, smoke spilling from your lips as they twist into a smile. The windless night lets the smoke hang in the air between you, small plumes lazily intertwining. When his eyes find yours again, there’s no mistaking it. His gaze is soft.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"The sky is beautiful from my side" Lily said with a sigh "Full of stars... How is yours?"

James looked up and smiled. He would call it destiny that the sky was clear. There were few stars visible and the moon was big and shiny.

"Nice view tonight" he said to the phone.

"Yes, it's beautiful!" Lily exclaimed.

"Not as beautiful as you"

The silence Lily gave him after that made James feel like an idiot. Fuck fuck fuck! That was not what a friend was supposed to say, was it? James had promised Lily and himself he was going to respect the friendship thing. And it had been fine. It had been amazing, actually.

James had been used to having Lily hating his guts and insulting him. Being Lily's friend was new but wonderful. It was an honor to get to know her. To make her laugh. To hear about her day and her secrets.

Since summer started, they had been talking on the phone two times a week. And oh God! James was thrilled and he didn't want to jinx it. It was a dream come true.

Pining over Lily as her good pal was ten times better than fucking it up and making her angry again.

James wanted to do things right this time.

But sometimes he didn't have a filter and he said stupid things he felt because they were bloody strong.

Luckily this time, Lily giggled on the other side of the phone. James smiled in relief. He appreciated how sweet her laughter sounded.

"You know how to use your words, eh Potter?"

"Just telling the truth"

"You are just testing if you can flirt with me"

Yes! A million times yes!

"Is it working?"

James's heart suddenly ran fast expecting her answer. He still had hope that one day she would feel the same as him.

Because James felt like he loved her.

Before Lily could answer, they were both interrupted by Marlene's voice in the background.

"Bloody hell, Lily! Quit flirting with Potter and let us sleep!"

James felt dumb to blush but the best part was that he knew Lily was blushing as well. He knew her well by now.

"Marlene!" Lily protested "I'm not flirting..."

"Maybe you can have your sex calls outside the room" James heard Mary's voice.

His cheeks went on fire with the mere thought of hearing Lily whispering sexy things to him.

"Mary!" Lily whined. "Sorry Potter," she added to the phone "just ignore them"

James laughed nervously. He heard Lily moving and closing the door behind her.

"We just had a volleyball tournament today" Lily explained, lowering her voice "The McKinnons got competitive. We are knackered"

James was glad Lily was having fun with the McKinnons.

"I guess I should leave you to rest, right?"

"Yeah maybe or they are going to kill me.. " Lily said "James!" she exclaimed seconds later making James jump but loving to hear his name from her mouth "It's really late! No wonder the girls were annoyed"

James checked his watch. 2 a.m. Had they really been talking for three whole hours?

"You are right" he chuckled

"I didn't notice it was that late" Lily snorted.

"Time flies when you are having fun"

James could feel Lily's smile.

"Who said I was having fun?"

"Big mistake, you are actually annoyed by my irritating voice, right?"

Lily chuckled "Very irritated!"

"Knew it"

Lily laughed making James's heart melt.

"Have a good night, Potter"

"We are back to Potter? Aaw..."

Lily giggled "Go to sleep, James"

"That's better" he bit his lip "I like it when you say my name"

Shit! He was stepping over the line.

"Sweet dreams, Jaamees..." he imagined Lily rolling her eyes.

"As long as they are with you"

Definitely stepping over the line.

"Bye, Potter" Lily said but she was amused.

James smiled "Bye, Lily"

Lily was the one to hang up first but James felt the goofy smile on his face already. His face red, his ears burning but his happiness so loud it was contagious.

James loved Lily Evans. It could explain why he missed her already. He just talked to her for hours but it was never enough. He wanted to see her face and smell her perfume and if he was lucky kiss those lips...

James snapped out if it. Better not get his hopes up.

James felt he was practically floating when he reached his room. His parents were asleep already and the house was quiet.

He was careful not to make noise as he stepped inside.

"Done with your mellow phone call?"

James jumped and cursed under his breath.

Sirius was awake. Wearing one of James's shirts and inside his bed.

Sirius had his own room at the house by this point. Although he never slept in it. He had been attached to James like glue this summer. Especially after what happened with his family. Everytime James saw the bruise on his face, he wanted to kill Sirius’s father.

"Bloody hell, you scared me" James whispered, charged into his pijamas and got inside the covers next to Sirius.

Sirius stared openly the whole time.

"Couldn't sleep" Sirius explained "Came to see you but you were busy"

James grinned in response. He couldn't hide how happy talking with Lily made him.

Sirius was not pleased.

"How's Evans?"

"Beautiful!" James sighed as he leaned down "I mean well! She's having fun at the McKinnons"

"With one of Marlene's brothers, I presume?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Padfoot!" James protested trying not to sound jealous.

Adam and Cole were too much older for her.

"Joking" Sirius shrugged.

James stared. His best friend was upset. He had that face James knew well when he pretended to be fine but was dying inside. James could see inside his eyes how many things were going through his mind.

"Pads... Want to talk?"

"About Evans?" Sirius made a face.

"About you..."

"You look like a fool with your face all red and probably your dick hard"

James rolled his eyes.

"We are in good terms, best terms" he smiled. "I lose track of time when I talk with her"

"You lose control of your cock as well"

"Fuck off!"

It was Sirius who James wanted to tell his feelings about. He wanted to share his happiness with him. He wanted advice. He wanted to tell him he might be in love.

"Summer is about flings" Sirius snapped "She's probably having fun with different blokes..."

James blinked at him.

"Many things can happen at the beach"

James smiled slightly "Thank you for being so gentle with me"

Sirius grinned.

"She is having fun with you as well, messing with you over the phone"

"Lily is not like that"

"Lily, is it?" Sirius scoffed "You know her very well now, don't you?"

James was being patient.

"I reckon I've been getting to know her better"

Sirius clenched his teeth. James knew he was trying not to explode.

"How nice!" Sirius said sarcastically "Prepare to be in the friendzone forever!"

James wanted to do something to fix Sirius. To do something to make him feel better. He was a mess because of his fucked up family.

"What is it dear Pads?" James said with a cheeky smile "Are you jealous?"

He said it mostly to make a joke and make Sirius laugh. But it was surprising to see Sirius go red as a tomato.

"You are getting red!" James teased because Sirius had done the same. He poked his cheek.

Sirius got furious and pushed his hand away.

"Fuck off, Potter!!" he spat "I'm just watching your back. That girl is going to break your heart really fast! Then you will be crying around the corners like a baby and I don't want to deal with that!!"

And James was taken aback. Because Sirius was not joking anymore. It made James feel impotent not to help him.

"I really like Lily" James said carefully.

Sirius’s eyes filled with tears but he turned around and laid showing James his back.

"Let's just go to sleep"

James took a deep breath.

"I don't know what's wrong with you, Pads" he said "But you are my best friend. And I want you to be happy for me and support me with this. Lily might like me back or she might not. But I reckon it is my business to discover it. And yeah if she breaks my heart, I hope I can count on you to get the pieces back together... "

Sirius didn't move.

"I'll be the happiest man in the world when you fall in love for the first time, you know?"

Silence. Another sigh.

"Good night, Padfoot"

James took off his glasses and turned off the lights. What he didn't see was that Sirius was silently crying next to him. Because of the confusing feelings he was facing. For James. For Remus. And the whole mess with his family.

Sirius wanted to hug James, cry and forget about everything forever. But he was a coward to admit it.