#i slept for like 20 hours yesterday

[duck-era-lexi]

wait LOL i didnt even know mccr was today

[stillagoodwitch]

i was wondering why i’m sleeping like 15 hours a day i was fully convinced i’m like sick and dying or something but then i realized that probably happens when you laid on a couch without moving for 2 months and now go outside everyday,,,,

[buffabby]

finally having time to myself since 3pm yesterday (it’s 11pm rn) and i want to stay up and relax and watch stuff so i can have a nice time by myself before having to work tomorrow but i am EXHAUSTED and also want to sleep so bad😭😭😭

[thinkingabouttimdrake]

at some point of running deadlines you question if you’d really be dead beyond the damn lines i swear

[llycaons]

even well-meaning people telling me to do something for myself piss me off lmao. don't tell me to eat or shower or sleep or whatever I can HANDLE it!!!

[bunnyb34r]

What the actual hell is wrong with customers 😭 Why did they tear UP the fucking Chamagedon sweats (they haven't yet found the shirts and I'm hoping to god they don't) Like ??? They have literally been here since like September, they've been at that price since we got em, they are fucking basic as hell. WHY?? WHY NOW?

Idk if it was bc I was gone for a week and no one and I mean NO ONE recovered my fucking area in that time. If it is bc it was an event weekend and even though clothing had absolutely 0 sale items, people were shopping. Or if people are just feral here. Like this isn't new, people being absolutely horrible to clothing sections in stores, but what caused them to specifically destroy this one table?? (And the stupid t-shirts, crewnecks, and leggings, next to them were collateral fucking damage)

I have to keep reminding myself that this is how this section looked before I started, and has always been a MESS. That if it took a week to mess up, it's gonna take at least that long to get back into the groove. That it's not personal that no one recovered MY area (everyone else's was recovered except the men's sports apparel). That I'm there for half the time my coworkers are so I am not expected to do 8hrs of work in 4. And that it's not a reflection on ME if the area looks like shit.

But god is it hard.

[connormoving]

ok gn everyone much love

[ellcrys]

I think this is the first time my hands and forearms are actually sore after driving for an extended period of time...

[leislibrary]

[skz] how they accidentally reveal your relationship

pairing: hyung line x reader maknae line here! genre: fluff, angst (if you squint) wc: 2.2k, between 400 - 700 each

Chan - on a live stream

Chan's eyelids droop as he reads more comments on his live stream. He could not count the amount of hours that passed since he last slept. Yesterday? Two days ago? He lost track. Still, he sits in front of the blinking red light, recording live content for STAY before he finally goes to sleep. 

“Someone said ‘nice bracelet’,” he reads aloud from his phone screen - having to pause to stifle a yawn. The comment makes him grin, remembering how you recently gifted it to him when he was trying to spoil you. “Thank you, you know, Y/N got it for me on our last trip.” 

His blood freezes the second the words leave his lips. He fucked up. 

Your relationship is not public. Well, rather, it was not public. You both wish to keep that part of your lives private, seeing as so much is already exposed to his fanbase. 

Any triage he can do falls short on his lips as he reads comments pouring in, asking who Y/N is, demanding an explanation, and already speculating that Chan has a partner. Chan’s heartbeat quickens and his mind races. He tries to think of something that would make him still appear cool, and like he wasn’t currently freaking out over saying your name so intimately for everyone to hear. If he spoke, anything he said would just be over-analyzed and posted everywhere. So, he did quite possibly the worst thing he could do. 

He ends the live without saying another word. 

His shaking hands open his phone app to call you, but you beat him to it. Your name appears on his screen. You must have been watching. You must have also seen the comments afterwards. He takes a deep breath and presses Accept. 

You’re silent on the other end. “Do you think anyone heard?” He tries to lighten the mood, believing you’re upset with him for exposing your relationship so carelessly. 

Instead, you surprise him. “Are you okay?” Your voice is full of concern. “You looked like you aged about 20 years in four seconds. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your eyes that wide before.” 

“You’re not mad? I mean everyone knows now, it’s just a matter of time before they find out it’s you, I pretty much just ruined whatever privacy we ha-”

“Hey,” you cut him off, “none of that. No talking badly about yourself. Yes, I’m sure we’ll have to address it soon, but there’s nothing we can do to change what’s already happened. Whatever happens from now on, we will still have each other. Honestly, I’m kind of glad the secret’s out. We can go on real dates now, instead of practically wearing costumes just to grab coffee.” 

Chan knows he is incredibly lucky to have you. One of many reasons he loves you is for your ability to talk him down when he overthinks. He eventually falls asleep on the phone with you, listening to you reassure him that you guys will figure out whatever tomorrow brings. 

Minho - on stage

Management expressed concerns about Stray Kids collaborating with you on your newest single. The higher-ups claimed that with your smaller fan base, the release might not be worth the time taken away from the group working on their own comeback. Of course, they were actually concerned about fans uncovering yours and Minho’s relationship, but they could not officially say that seeing as you have not officially told them anything. It’s an open secret within JYPE, but you two still deny it any time the subject comes up. 

The single reached the highest number of pre-orders you’d ever had. Downloads of all your songs, not just the collaboration, skyrocketed on release day. It seemed like your boyfriend’s group almost did more for your career than JYPE, your own label. 

Currently, the nine of you are at your third promotion event together. This is an informal performance/Q&A session (mainly for Stray Kids, let’s be honest) held near the label’s building, but your heart still swells at seeing everyone who came out to support the song. 

You stand in front of a small sea of audience members, taking a moment to admire their reactions to the performance. Behind you, Felix kicks off the Q&A portion of the event, calling on a fan with their hand raised and passing them a microphone. “Hi, I was wondering, what was the songwriting process like?” They ask, nerves evident in their voice. 

A presence approaches. Minho strides over to your location on stage, ultimately positioning to brush his shoulder against yours. It’s the kind of casual affection nobody would ever think twice about - if this was one of his concerts, and if you were one of his members. 

“Be careful,” you whisper to him, trying not to let the audience catch on to the fact that there’s anything to catch on to. 

He smirks in return. “Always.” 

Four questions pass, and you finally get one aimed for you specifically. You are describing the creative vision for your upcoming album. At some point Minho gravitates over to you again. As you speak, growing excitement radiates off the crowd, “ - I’m so proud of this one and I cannot wait for you to hear it!” 

Your smile widens as resulting cheers ensue. You worked so hard for this moment, and to finally start to see the fruits of your labor fills you with joy. Minho’s gentle hand on your back causes you to meet his eyes. He is already staring at you as if you are the only person in the world. 

Minho did, in fact, forget that you two are on stage. His love for you overwhelms him - he is so honored that you let him share this moment with you. Without thinking, he caresses your cheek, pulls you in, and kisses you. 

Your breath hitches. 

Maybe nobody noticed. Maybe not a single person in the crowd was looking at you or Minho right at that moment. 

The hush that sweeps the audience slashes your delusions. The overwhelming noise a moment later shoots straight into your heart. Yet, you don’t regret it. Minho’s expression mirrors your emotions. Shocked yet happy. 

Han notices what just happened and tries his best to get the crowd under control. Unfortunately, his idea was to sweep past it by continuing with the Q&A. “Alright! Does anyone else have a question for us?” The crowd goes crazy for the second time in five minutes.

Changbin - SKZ-Talker

A strong knock reverberates through yours and Changbin’s hotel room. 

“Mgrhnmm,” Changbin so eloquently mumbles, still 80% asleep after his post-concert adrenaline crash. The urgent knock sounds again. You peel yourself away from him and pad over to the door, adjusting your pajama set so you don’t look as rumpled when you swing it open. 

Chan stands there, staring at his laptop screen, eyebrows furled in either annoyance or concern. Or both. 

“Is Changbin here?” he asks. 

“Chan, I respect the creative process, but it’s three in the morning. Your work will still be there in the morning. Please let him sleep,” you respond, your usual wariness to speak to Chan like that replaced by actual weariness. 

A flicker of confusion drifts through his eyes. “No, that’s not it. You haven’t seen?” He steps into the room and shuts the door behind him. Changbin’s eyes flutter open at the sound of your conversation. You waste no time falling back into the cozy bedding.

Chan takes a seat at the desk, angling the laptop so you two can see it from your positions. The latest SKZ-Talker is paused on screen, Seungmin’s face frozen as he talks to the camera lens. 

“What’s this about hyung?” Changbin asks, finally sitting up now that it’s evident Chan will be staying a while. 

“Yeah, I mean I know Seungmin’s pretty,” you chime in, choosing to ignore Changbin’s nod of agreement, “but why are you showing us this?”

“Look.” Chan points to a spot over Seungmin’s shoulder. “Is that or is that not you two kissing?” 

Oh. Oh no. 

He’s right. With the angle Seungmin’s holding the camera, viewers can see straight down the hallway Changbin was using to warm up. And there’s you, pressing a kiss to his lips as encouragement before he goes on stage. Your stomach drops. 

You barely process Chan’s continued talking. “It’s not as bad as it could be. It’s a split second, the editors must have missed it. I’ll show you,” he rewinds the video a couple seconds and presses play. You two aren’t even on screen anymore. Seungmin’s voice fills the room as he walks through the venue’s hallways. Then, there it is. He shifts his hand, and over his shoulder, the camera captures Changbin leaning into you, smiling as you kiss him. The scene disappears behind a wall as Seungmin keeps walking. 

“Most people haven’t even noticed it. But -” Chan pauses. “But there are already some comments recognizing Changbin. They don’t know who you are,” he looks at you. The “yet” remains unspoken. 

Changbin curses. “Can we delete the video? Edit that part out? Something?”

Your vision tunnels on the screen. How could you be so careless? You knew they were filming a SKZ-Talker that day. You know how easily idols have dating rumors, you should have been more careful. Changbin’s going to have a scandal once Dispatch gets their hands on this. 

Changbin’s hands on your shoulders bring you back to reality. “You okay, princess?”

Your stunned nod tells him you’re not okay. 

“Look at me. Nobody’s mad at you for kissing me,” he brushes some hair out of your face, “I’m especially not mad at you for kissing me. In fact, I think you should do it more often.” His smile mirrors your small grin at his words.

“Yeah. But -” Chan pauses for the second time that night. “Our manager does want to get ahead of this. He’s requesting to discuss it with you now.” Chan notices your shoulders slump. “He doesn’t seem upset. Just stressed.” 

“Okay. Yeah. We’ll head over there,” Changbin replies. Chan nods and quietly slips out of the room. 

Changbin pulls you into him. “I’ve got you,” he whispers, the sound slightly muffled by where his mouth meets the top of your head. “Let me do most of the talking, yeah? We’ll be okay.”

You pull away, his arms dropping to still rest on your waist. “We should probably get going.” Your legs slightly shake as you stand to walk towards the exit. Changbin grabs your hand, his strong grip anchoring you into him. 

Hyunjin - through an Instagram post

Hyunjin fills his house with artwork scattered everywhere. It adorns his walls, his tables, his life. He makes sure no pictures of the two of you are visible through any mirror selfies - your own fans would recognize you, and he’d have a hard time explaining why a photostrip of him kissing you exists. 

Hyunjin’s most recent photo dump is doing unusually well. He smiles as he recalls the memories attached to each picture. He reviewed each photo before posting, but for the first time, he notices that one of your paintings is in the background of one of his selfies. 

The painting that you had posted on your story two days ago when you finished it.

The painting that detail-oriented STAYS and fans of yours are now asking questions about. 

Does the art in the third slide look similar to Y/N’s from a couple days ago??  omg that’s Y/N’s painting!!!!! she said she loved that painting and now it’s in hyunjin’s room?? are they together?? 

Hyunjin’s thumb scrolls down the comments, nitpicking anything mentioning you. You two don’t even follow each other to dissuade any notion of familiarity. Now, it’s snowballing, more and more people catching on when they read previous comments. 

wait whos Y/N???? his gf apparently!!

Hyunjin deletes the whole post. His notifications show an uptick of comments on his previous photo. Fuck. Your Instagram is the same: a growing number of comments asking about your relationship status under pictures of a completely unrelated photoshoot. Fuck. 

He needs to tell you himself before you are bombarded on social media. He texts So we might have to come forward about us sooner than planned. Like right now. 

Your name lights up his phone screen. Fuck. He accepts the call, and immediately launches into a not-dramatic-at-all explanation of how his love for his favorite artist in the whole world exposed your relationship, and really this is your fault if you think about it, because you created the painting in the first place, and you should have known he would love it so much.  

You’re silent until he finally pauses to take a breath. Then, your quiet laughter fills his ears. “I mean, I figured something like this would happen eventually, pabo.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No, love.” 

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Hyunjin can finally breathe again. An idea springs to his mind. “We NEED to have the best official launch photos!! Can I paint us?”

[cosmic-dust-poltergeist]

Pt2 of Tim Drake having Joker Junior PTSD and scaring people with his laugh

[Click Here For Part 1: Titans]

Part 2: Bats

Tim hadn't slept more than 20 minutes in 4 days. He's been running around non-stop between cases and his CEO duties, and it's taking its toll. His hallucinations started flickering to life a day ago; shadowy figures at the edge of his vision and noise/voices yelling in his ears. It's all very annoying, but unfortunately, he still has to make it through the family dinner before he can barricade himself in his room for the next 24 hours. He plans to sleep 20 of them.

He's literally praying the idiots he calls siblings are too distracted by each other to bother him And that Joker isn't a topic for once. He's one Jason whining about the Joker needing to die away from letting himself from having a breakdown and stabbing himself to get out of this stupid dinner. He's so fucking tired.

Luckily, he must look as dead as he feels because they mostly leave him alone and easily accept his demands of letting him have his mini coma tomorrow. Even gave some backhanded compliments about taking care of himself, as if he isn't the only reason the lights are still on in the manor. He doesn't see any of them pitching in. Maybe they think Bruce is still paying? Man dumped his job on a 15 year old. At this point, Tim is this family's sugar daddy, which is actually really awful now that he thinks about it...

He's off topic. Just have to make it thro-

"Well, if you would just kill him!!"

'Gods fucking damnit!'

The room goes eerily silent as Tim just starts unhinged laughing. He's choking on it as he tries to breathe.

"T-Tim?"

"Re-replacement?"

"I'll grab the antidote for Joker venom. Drake should have told us if-"

Tim holds up a hand, silencing them again, as he forces his breathing to calm a fraction. It's not enough to stop the laughter, but it is enough to get words out.

"The an- HAHA- antidote isn't going- HAHAHA- going to work f-Ha-for this! HAHAHA"

"Tim. I thought these attacks stopped."

"The fuck are you talking about, old man!?"

"They ne- HAHA- never stopped! HAHAHAHA- Juss-st became less- HAHA- often. Only HAHAHA- only if I get tri- HAHA- triggered ss-sssomehow HA"

"Wh-what triggered you, Timmy?"

Tim moves his plate and drink out of the wait before slamming his head onto the table twice with probably more force than necessary or is health. He feels his family jump up to stop him from doing more damage, but he's done, he just keeps his face pressed to the table while STILL Joker laughing. He has a massive headache, and it's not just from the brain damage he just gave himself.

"Wh- I mean, what happened to make Tim have these episodes?" Duke sounds petrified. Tim feels a little bad about it.

"I'll tell you if Tim gives-" Tim gives a thumbs up in Dick's direction. "Oh! Um! Okay, Okay, cool. So I only know what Tim and Barbara told me in the aftermath, but, um, the Joker and Harley Quinn kidnapped Tim. They tortured him for nearly a month to make him into "Joker Junior"."

"Di- HAHAHA- Didn't work! The Bitches! HAHAHA"

"It kinda sounds like it did-" Tim throws a fork at Jason without lifting his head. "Hey!!"

"Asshole. HAHaHa"

"Jason, stop antagonizing your brother." Bruce lightly scolds.

"Hey, Tim? Is there any way we can help?" Duke sounds like he moved a bit closer.

"N-Ha-no" Tim morosely says. "I HaHa just have to HaHaHa wait it out HaHa"

"Man, that must suck." Jason sounds genuinely apologetic.

"Tim, do you know what triggered this episode?" That Batman, not Bruce speaking, and Tim hates it. He throws a spoon at him. Demon Brat makes a squawk of offense, but Tim can't care.

"It's a valid question, Tim." Tim sits up just to glare at Dick.

"It was probably HaHa the fact I started hallucinating yesterday from HaHaHaHa lack of sleep. I haven't been HaHa able HaHa to sleep because I've been running a HaHa HaHa HaHa multi billion dollar company while working on cases for you, HaHa Jason, Bruce, and Barbara HaHaHa as well as 3 of my own cases. THEN, we can't HAHAHA can't even have ONE STUPID DINNER WITHOUT JASON WHINING HAHAHA ABOUT DEAR OL' PAPA JOKER!" Tim runs a hand through his messy hair, trying to self sooth. "I'm so fucking tired. Hahaha I'm just so tired.."

"Okay, okay, have you eaten enough?" Dick asks with a pained look on his face. Tim glances at his half eaten meal and decides it's good enough. He gives a nod, shoving himself to his feet.

"Yeah, haha I'm going to boil myself alive hahaha with a shower and going to bed. Hahaha Don't ask me for anything hahaha for at least 24."

He ignores them bursting into conversation, 100% about him, once he shuffles out. Cass slips out into the hall and catches up with him before he can even get to the stairs.

"Hug?"

"I would haha love a hug ha" Cass gives him a strong hug. It lasts a few minutes, which is abnormally long for a hug, but Tim loves it. It helps his nerves. "Thanks, haha Cass."

She simply smiles at him as she pulls away before pointing him up the stairs with a mock sternness. He giggles his real laugh between the Joker laughter and complies with the "demand".

He knows he'll regret his outburst after he's gotten some sleep, but for now, he doesn't care. He has an overdue date with his bed and he refuses to reschedule.

[purpdrawsthings]

HIT YOU WITH THE PUNK TACTICS 👊💥

@tiredsmashbros @strange0-0storm @libbytwq @rr3d2y @its-a-me-mango @cookiepopcat

No way it took me 5 months to get back my motivation?? 😭😭😭

Hihi everybody.

So I started this project.. As said in the picture. Apparently after the first 4 finished/rendered pictures of TSB and SMG8, I lost the motivation and left it alone for 5 months.. UNTIL YESTERDAY.

Yes you heard me, YESTERDAY. "Wait Purp so what you're meaning to tell us is that after that part and so on was all finished in 1 DAY??"

.... Yeah =D

I WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF OKAY I LEFT IT FOR LONG ENOUGH. Don't want it to be like my Plug Me In animation tho... [Speaking of which why did that one take me like 8 months?]

Speedran the last image for TSB and SMG8's part, did Lore and Ako's part [this includes drawing + animating + editing some of TSB's part] in about I think 1-2 hours, took a break cuz my phone was on like 20% [I had literal homework so I finished my ONE BIG AHH PAPER PRESENTATION COMIC in about 3 hours..] After that I immediately went straight back to my phone and finished the first 4 rendered parts for Mango and Cookie's part [ this also included drawing + animating ]

During this time I was in my fathers siblings house because we were going to break our fast there. So yesterday was the day we went back home cuz both me and my sister had school. While in the car I FINISHED. Mango and Cookie's final part. This did NOT include animating. I felt tired and went to sleep.

Back home I went straight into my room and onto my phone 😭 I finished animating THE LAST PART. So all's left is editing the final product and polishing.

I use alight motion but after 10 minutes or so of TRYING to find if alight motion had a reverse effect, the app didn't have that. So I had to waste 5 MINUTES just to install capcut for that effect. During this also I was on my last 15 minutes on the phone so I was kinda stressed and begging it would go faster.

Did the reverse and exported it alight motion. But during this my phone shut off so I couldn't finish it. I sighed and waited for the next day.

[Funny thing but I did 3 homeworks last minute before sleeping and I slept at 12 lmao]

CUT TO TODAY!

As I got back from school and in my mom's car going to her office, I saved my phone in the car and immediately picked it up.

You'd THINK I would go straight to editing seeing my past pattern right? Nah I went to YouTube shorts for whatever apparent reason sisgisvdixgidbdodbxib 😭

Anyways I went into my mom's office and immediately edited in alight motion. This took me for about 30 minutes or so because I was trying to find the perfect rewind overlay for the animation. Couldn't find the one that would fit my need so I just picked one that seemed just fine for me. Edited some more.. Checked the timings... Put my watermark and some lil drawing and.... Done! The animation was all done and ready to go!

I first sent the thing in discord. [Apparently discord this time actually could load my animation in there so I was quite happy to say the least.] And now we're here to me writing this as I'm talking to myself! Hi me!... I'm going crazy.

Anyways I'm glad I finished that. Looking back at it I think I got so tired at the last part that I almost gave up on Cookie's and Mango's part. It's a bit low effort on that one. Overall, I'm kinda satisfied and it's nice to play the animation a couple of times.

Final stuff.

Ibis paint : 6 hours, thumb 💜

Flipaclip : 12fps, 337 frames

Alight motion : 30fps

Capcut : reverse thing sudhdudhud

Hope y'all enjoyed my rambling IAHSISHDIHDODHDO I should be crowned queen of yapping wait somebody else has that tittle oh well.

Yeetus chat =3

[pastafossa]

MENTAL HEALTH, DEPRESSION, AND MEDICATION TW.

An update, since I don't want to leave anyone worried.

So I'm back on a low dose of my old med and ok now, just after a truly horrible morning yesterday, to put it mildly.

Thanks to fam and my friends helping me and walking me through how my reactions were NOT normal levels of 'medication withdrawal' and were in fact 'extreme case of antidepressant withdrawal resulting in both severe physical symptoms and a massive mental health spiral', yesterday morning didn't end in a trip to the ER (though that was discussed and was on the table). That's because it led to REALLY pushing the doctor's office - namely calling repeatedly, once they opened, until I FINALLY got someone to TALK TO ME that morning. I explained again how bad it was, and got told we should go back on my old med for now (duh???). It didn't help that I hadn't been able to take the cymbalta after going off the amitriptyline, which meant my brain was suddenly, after 20 years, riding on ZEROOOOO antidepressant after a too rapid 4 week taper and shift to a new med.

The call in wasn't fast, but fortunately I had some leftovers from tapering, so I called the pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist, who quickly and urgently told me which dose of my old med to take while waiting for the script to get called in (good call, since my script wasn't ready until today).

I took the 10mg at 11am. My physical symptoms eased in 20 minutes. I took a nap. And when I came back down 3 hours later, I felt... me again. My friends noticed. My fam noticed. I was talking like I used to. I was no longer spiraling and crying over my entire life and existence feeling pointless. I laughed at a joke. I understood again that my friends loved me.

And last night, I slept way more normally. No wakeup at 3am with anxiety attacks. No depressive waves keeping me awake. No crying for hours because I felt like I was completely alone.

I still feel a bit sick today. Tired, weird hunger pangs, mood not at its usual level obviously. But it's miles and miles and miles better than yesterday, and I'm told that will get better as the medication levels me back out. And I'm going to keep on it until I find a specialist who can work with me on a med switch PROPERLY (and very slowly). Not like... this.

So for now. Lots of rest. Comfort shows. Soft things. Fam is taking care of me, so I don't have to worry about that. And I'm really really grateful for them, for my friends, and for all ya'll that told me what I was experiencing was NOT normal or right. So thank you. I love you all tons.

[darknebula85]

23/11/2024, Log of DARKNEBULA85, 1:16 PM...

SPOILERS: Special Edition, Arcane Season 2, Episodes 7-8-9...

As I’m writing this, it’s 4:20 in the morning. I’m on a 24-hour shift, but here I am, watching the new episodes as they’ve just come out. The hype I’m feeling is so intense that I’m not even a little bit sleepy. Episode 7 is both the most beautiful and the most heartbreaking thing I’ve seen in this series. I spent the entire episode thinking, "If only everything had gone right, this is how it all could have ended…” Seeing all the characters together and alive (except Vi) made me so happy, yet it was killing me inside because, in our reality, it’s the complete opposite.Can we all agree that Ekko is the hero of this series??? A guy who had everything taken from him, suddenly gets it all back, and then has to give it up again to save his people. He succeeds in the end, but it’s still so tragic, he accomplished his mission but was left alone, without his family, friends, or the girl he loved. It’s devastating.I was absolutely crushed by the death of my favorite psychotic blue-haired girl because I held onto hope until the very last second that she would survive… But alas, it seems that in both universes, the sisters can’t be happy together. One of them always has to die. Still, I’m glad they each had someone to lean on as they mourned their lost sister (Vi with Cait, Powder with Ekko). And Heimerdinger? My poor little guy died, and no one even noticed. At least he went out happy, knowing he gave someone else the chance to achieve what he couldn’t. And Jayce… I always had faith in him. I’ve supported him since the first season, and I held back from criticizing him in earlier episodes because I knew there was a reason behind his actions. And, oh boy, there sure was. By the way, Ambessa’s design is hands down my favorite, what an absolutely spectacular character design. And the ending… It’s perfect. Everything about this series is perfect. I’ve tried to think of a single bad thing about it, and I just can’t. I don’t think we’ll see another show this perfect for a long time, it’s a true masterpiece in every sense of the word.I really hope the creators expand this universe. There’s still so much left to explore and so many storylines to wrap up, like the Black Rose. If you’ll excuse me, I’m now going to cry myself to sleep, considering I haven’t slept since 8 a.m. yesterday.

Yo seguiré en negación creyendo para mi mismo que Jinx sigue viva

Edit 10:53 PM... DUDE I’m at a party, and there’s literally a guy who looks EXACTLY like Vander. Same clothes, same hair, same beard, same size… I feel like crying and I want to die 😭

[teonyjackson017]

sapnap boxing stream notes

He slept 14 hours, which is why the stream started late

Tony is the cameraman

18 hours of valo yesterday, but he got his Immortal back, and that's all that matters

We are not boxing anyone, no sparring or fighting anyone, no opponent today

~95% of his boxing training is at the house, all non-sparring

They have a home gym, Sap's equipment, and Dream's garage. They have weightlifting stuff, but he does not rn because he gains too much muscle mass. Boxing section with a ring he bought bc he figured that would be better. It has a water punching bag bc he prefers it, and he does not hurt his hands.

His boxing coach! Tony Blaco from Orlando Boxing Club. They have been training for 6/7 months.

What they do on a day-to-day basis (non-sparring) bc they don't want to possibly show his flaws.

(he feels cringe but he is doing it for us 🐼🧡)

Every day, he has an energy drink (he has blue Monster) and 2 Rice Krispies (cheats?) while he puts on his shoes and clothes. Instant energy.

(something about not training on a full stomach?? stream lag, he feels heavy, and he does not like it. Everyone has their own preferences.)

He trains when he wakes up (right away or 30 mins- 1 h after waking up), he does not know if that's ideal.

He lies to his coach that he was up late working, but he was really playing Valorant. He streamed it, so technically it is work. 🤣

His boxing shoes are red Nike HyperKO shoes - he thought they looked cool.

Dream and George would die if he boxed them, especially gnf, Sap would go to jail if he boxed George.

He texted Blake to come, but he did not respond

He was weight training, but his weight was not going down the way he wanted it to. He was losing fat but gaining muscle mass. They had to cut it out to drop weight

Basic leg stretches before he Jump ropes (he is lazy and swings his legs around x10 each leg)

Jump rope (2 rounds), he has HIS jump rope. Each round is 3 minutes. Usually, he does more like 4-6 rounds. He messes up (a lot) and is not very good. He does this upwards of 20-24 mins. The jump rope is to jump-start his heart and get it warmed up. Boring, but a good form of conditioning.

He runs every day (also boring). He is supposed to run every day and he obviously does it yes yes. He wishes valo counted as conditioning.

Coach Tony: You can't box if you don't run.

Coach comes over almost every day to train sapnap. If not, he is at the coach's gym sparring. Rarely will they bring someone to the house to spar sap.

He has some break days, and he plays a lot of Valorant on them.

Coach: Especially with his travel, he needs to work out in the hotel gyms, and he can take the jump rope anywhere. Sap: I hate this thing! It hits me and it hurts! Coach: I think he messes up the jump rope just so he can stop. Sap: That's not true! x3 Coach: It's tougher than it looks.

Shadowboxing in the ring! (2 rounds with weights, 2 without, sometimes more/less) The ring has ropes, so he is forced to move his head and body under it and use the whole ring. He boxes an imaginary opponent, jabs, combos, and ducks. He makes little sounds. It feels cringe with the camera. Coach watches and comments. It is tiring.

Chat: He is fighting his demons!

Coach Tony: The benefit of shadowboxing is that it is where you perfect your form and technique and visualize a fight. It's everything! Sap: It's boring!

If it were up to Sap, he would spar every day, but the coach says no! You need your brain! Sap: Fighting is more fun. This is tiring and boring; you don't get bored sparring.

Pool Noodles (2 rounds). He can hit them with his bare hands. The coach calls sequences of moves. Sometimes the combos are too long to remember.

Sap goes to get his gloves. Coach brought tape for his wrists.

So, how’s it been working with Sapnap? Coach: oh it’s been great, i’m really really proud of his progress, a lotta times u see a lot of youtubers trying to fight but they don’t train like a fighter […] if u wanna train boxing u gotta do it like u love it, u gotta do it for real. (he praises Sap for his commitment, and Sap can't take the praise, it's so cute.) Coach is super proud of him!

Sap wraps his hands with tape. Everyone does it differently.

(Yapping about valorant, Coach: What's the game about? Sap: Killing people! Coach: Oh sweet! my kinda game!)

What gloves are you running today? Sapnap: These are Winning gloves. These are nice gloves.

Paddle Work (4 rounds?). Just like noodles, except with gloves and 2 paddles. They make a louder, satisfying noise. Sap says he feels like he is cheating because they make you sound loud and strong, even with soft hits. He prefers pads.

Sap never drinks water. He could do a 1-2 hour workout, and he never drinks water. He gets tired and takes rest breaks. He does not want to train with a full stomach. (Later, he drinks a little bit after the paddles.)

Sapnap's Spanish has improved so much! They can almost have a full conversation (Sap denies this lol). He listens to Spanish music all the time and can sing the lyrics word for word.

Water Punching Bag (2 rounds). He likes the water bag because it always stays soft. It is shaped like a torso. Stikes, combos, body shots. The most exhaustive bc the bag does not get tired. (Tony says that it can't fight back either.) He hits it hard; the others are not as hard hits.

Coach occasionally spars with Sap, and Sap wins, Coach says he is 52 and Sap is young.

It's hot, and Sap wants to turn the fans bc he no longer cares about the sound on stream.

The only time he hits as hard as he can is if he gets under (the arm of the opponent) and can hit the body because the body can take it, while the face cannot. A lot of people quit when hit on the body. Blake got hit in the body and quit. Soft shots to the face can also KO if placed right (chin, jaw), it does not take much if hit perfectly.

Liver shots are really impactful and painful.

He has to keep his hands up or he could get knocked out.

They always finish with a 3-minute plank, maybe more (Sap will do this off-stream)

They are keeping it short for stream; they often do 4-6 rounds of each.

Sapnap: disclaimer i’m not an actual fighter, so please don’t cook me, i’m a noob, i’m not even an amateur. Coach: he’s training like a fighter so to me he’s a fighter, cause he’s training like one Sapnap: he’s setting my ass up. He will take constructive criticism and wants the fight to happen.

END - The stream was 1 hour long. Sorry for any mistakes!

[karshown]

literally this is js abt how Choso would more than likely act if he was Y/N's bf/husband.

Choso's personality: calm, chill, doesn't like attention nor does he crave it, likes to be more in the shadows, clingy, honestly inlove with you & refuses to notice any other woman thats not you.

hes a homebody

fempoc reader x choso

-----------------------------------------------------

Scenario #1:

Out of you two, you were the one that was outgoing, extroverted & loved being the center of attention around crowds of people. You were always the spotlight in any circumstance, whether you liked it or not (which you always did.)

Choso on the other hand simply hated it, he hated the thought of having all eyes on him or being around more than 2-3 people, or people in general. Anyone who wasn't you simply didn't have his attention, nor did he want to indulge in any conversation with them.

Anytime you two went to a party it was strictly him following you around like a lost puppy, & you jumping from place to place to at least have a small conversation with almost everyone at the large gatherings.

So today when you mentioned you two having to attend a party with more people than the last, he was truly sick to his stomach as much as he wanted to vomit he held it in.

His stomach churned as he wanted to curl into a ball, all he wanted to do was stay home with you, only you.

"Choso comeee onnn!! lets see the light in this one thing!" you encouraged as you tugged on his arm, he wouldnt budge, not even a little. He slouched into the couch beneath him, manspreading in a desperate attempt to make you change your mind without actually telling you to change your decision.

"So stubborn," you blurted out as he huffed and puffed, you two were truthfully opposites. Moving closer to him, relaxing into the couch you begged and pleaded, clasping your hands together while doing so.

"Just this one time, baby, pleaseee.." you whispered into his ear, sending a slight shiver down his spine as the small hairs on his neck rose. the word 'baby' did something to him, made him feel some type of way that he'd never felt before, made him want to beg to be called 'baby,'

Made him act out.

"I don't want to." Chosos rough voice echoed throughout the house, spooking you as you almost forgot the sound of his voice. Despite that, this only made you frustrated, now thinking of it though, you two go out almost all of the time? maybe you could stay in the house this one time.

"Okayyy fine!!" Choso was more than relieved at this point he took this moment as a miracle, in the blink of an eye he swiftly pulled you closer, you sat in between his spread legs as he wrapped his arms around your waist, snuggling into your bare shoulder, although his actions took you by surprise, you were satisfied.

Maybe staying at home wasn't too bad.

-----------------------------------------------------

Scenario #2

You had your phone turned off for a few hours, all you wanted was to finally get sleep, even if it was just for a little over 4 hours, you barely slept yesterday or the day before that. Your body was starting to feel like you were floating, as if you were naturally high.

Choso had been blowing up your phone for the past few hours, naturally you didn't know that, you felt at peace until..

BOOM.

My door swung open aggressively as it hit the wall behind it, my red, lowlided eyes shot openas I jerked awake immediately.

"fuck.." I whined to myself as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, barely processing that someone was towering over my figure from behind. The second I noticed the bigger shadow that ate mine up alive, I stiffened.

I barely could force any words out of my mouth, I couldn't even pry my lips apart. I soon felt a strong hand putting its entire weight on my shoulder, I swallowed the lump in my throat as my legs went limp. Was he going to kill me? were they even a he?

"I called you 79 times, facetimed you 20, and texted you at least 60, i even went as far as to check your social media account for any activity. I thought you were DEAD." Choso tightened his grip on my shoulder as despite the situation I was in, I felt relieved that I wasn't near death.

Until I took a moment of realization, that's not normal.

"m-my phone was turned off.." I stuttered as I tried to finally form an actual sentence, It was like I had to remember how to speak. Choso loosened his grip on my shoulder and eventually his hand dropped. At that point I hadn't realized that I had been holding my breath the entire time until I let out a loud sigh.

Soon Choso grasped onto the fact that he probably looked like a psychopath right now, especially after saying his actions outloud in the open which allowed him to register everything. Understanding how bad this situation might've seemed.

"O-oh well um, I realized that I might've acted out." He lowly said as he directed his attention elsewhere, to the floor beneath him clearly disappointed in himself. I shifted around as I turned to face him, the vulnerability was clear.

This side of Choso was a rare sight. I let out another sigh, this time a little louder than the last.

"Choso, I don't blame you, I completely understand, my love." I stood on my toes as I cupped the side of Chosos face in my hand, gently grazing my lips onto his. Completely unfazed by him acting like a literal crazy person.

-----------------------------------------------------

Scenario #3

You had been crying silently for a good hour and a half now, not because something major happened to make you completely bawl your eyes out but because you felt like you needed this.

During your crying session your phone began to vibrate from under your curled up position, lazily searching for your phone as it rung back to back, assuming it wouldn't stop until you decided to answer you finally found it, the caller ID flashed the screen as it was Choso.

Your face instantly lit up, but he couldn't see you like this, in such a spot, such a negative position. Using the little bit of power that you had left, you wiped away your excess tears, leaving your face slightly damp but that was fine.

You repeatedly rubbed your puffy red eyes, trying to get rid of as much evidence of you crying as possible. Once you were fully sure that he wouldn't notice you answered the phone, plastering a gentle smile on your face.

"Hii my heart, hows the trip?" your voice slightly cracked, not enough for it to be too obvious but you naturally noticed it. You tilted the phone up to face you as you noticed how alarmed he seemed.

"Have you been crying? whats going on?!" he was extremely concerned, and more importantly confused, what had happened during the few hours that he had been gone?

"N-no, I mean no I haven't!" you quickly resorted to calming him down, he was usually a calm person until it came to you, until something involved you.

"I'm coming over, the plane is delayed regardless." before you could stop him and beg for him to go on the trip he had been waiting for, he hung up. With barely enough energy to rapidly type your phone slipped out of your loose grip, you fell back onto the bed as you stared at the ceiling.

A little over thirty minutes passed until you heard the sound of the front door unlocking and forcefully shutting. Your room was upstairs and one of the first rooms that you encountered once you started walking down the long hallway.

Before you knew it Choso came barging in, with chocolates in one hand and your favorite flowers in the other.

"Sorry I took too long, I just needed to make a few stops." he said it like it was a normal thing, a normal thing for him to leave the airport, he'd been boasting about the trip for 2 months straight, even when you dreaded hearing about it you still listened to every detail.

"Choso I said im fi-" just when you thought the chocolates and bouquet were the only thing he'd brought, he had also bought a small brown teddybear, you stared in awe as he brought it to the side of the bed you were on.

"You were clearly crying, i wasn't born yesterday." his tone was stern, as he wasn't taking no or anything of that nature for an answer.

You were his first priority before anything.

He began to open the box of chocolates as he gently grabbed you, wrapping one arm around your waist as he held you close, he shifted his figure on the bed just so you were comfortable, the back of your head rested against his solid chest.

"Open." he commanded as you opened your mouth slowly, he stuffed a small piece of chocolate into your mouth, you soon chewed on the little bit of white chocolate.

"What about your trip?" you asked with a hint of concern in your tone, about something he completely disregarded, completely forgot about all for your wellbeing.

"I mean, fuck it."

He said with a slight shrug, resuming to feeding you more of the delicious chocolate.

-----------------------------------------------------

ugh i love choso // I own none of the artwork used, credits to the artists of any piece of art used.

[stardustrebels]

More of You- Chapter 6

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

WC: 4.2k

Rating: 18+ for eventual smut, MDNI Series Masterlist | Blog Masterlist Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tags: No outbreak!AU. Coffee shop meet-cute with a slow-ish burn. Sickly sweet fluff, some angst and eventual smut. Joel is 42, reader is mid 30s. Sarah is 19. No use of Y/N, minimal descriptions of reader. She has hair long enough to tie back, wears skirts and dresses and wears makeup. No warnings apply for this chapter.

A/N: If you are following along with this story, I am so unbelievably grateful- thank you a million times, you are so wonderful! This chapter is a couple of days later than I had planned because I spent the last week prepping for a job interview. Now that it’s over I’m celebrating by posting! This is a long one, but I hope you like Joel’s POV. It gets a touch angsty in places, but the man’s default setting is saddy daddy. I cannot wait to keep telling their little love story. Enjoy! 

Joel Miller didn’t believe in fate. 

It had always been too depressing a concept for him. If fate existed, then it meant that every bad thing that had ever happened to him was preordained, every mistake set in stone before he made it; that he had just been served the shitty end of the stick. No, Joel preferred to think of life as a long chain of cause and effect, that you got back what you put in to the world, and if good or bad things happened then you deserved them.

But now, as he watched you take a sip of your coffee a few tables away, exactly as you had been the day before, he couldn’t think of a single thing he might have done to have earned it. 

Yesterday, Joel had been reluctant to admit that you were the reason for his… well he wasn’t sure what to call it. By lunchtime he’d told himself it was something else entirely. The long hours and late nights weren’t as easy to recover from as they had been in his 20s, and it was all just catching up with him. 

But that night in bed, watching the red glowing numbers on his alarm clock tick from one late hour to the next, he couldn’t get you out of his mind. Thinking of the sight of you made his heart pound against his ribcage and his stomach flip. By the time 2am rolled around, he knew he couldn’t explain the source of the feelings as anything else. 

When he dragged himself out of bed in the morning having slept in fits and starts and gone to make a coffee, he’d glared at the empty spot in the cupboard where the coffee tin should be. The coffee tin he’d forgotten to replace. Again. 

He slammed the cabinet door shut, letting out a long string of curses. In the middle of his kitchen, fingers pinched hard around the bridge of his nose, somewhere between deep breath four and five, he figured he could just get coffee on his way to work. He could visit that coffee shop. Maybe you would be there again. The thought had made his heart flutter. 

He’d brought a book with him that morning- something to do with his hands and a half-baked excuse to linger for a while- but when he realised he’d forgotten his glasses he rolled his eyes and murmured a curse at his own forgetfulness. It didn’t matter, he was hardly able to focus on the words on the pages anyway. Every time his eyes flicked toward you, his chest tightened. It felt like he was straddling the line between anticipation and outright panic. 

And then you looked at him. 

When your eyes met his, something inside of him shifted. The tension in his chest unraveled, replaced by a warmth that spread through him like a shot of his favourite whiskey. A sense of grounding calm followed, smoothing out the jagged edges of his nerves; unfamiliar but not unwelcome. His lips curved in to a smile that came more naturally than he expected, and he held your gaze just a second longer than he probably should have. 

You smiled back. A small, shy grin- fleeting and lovely- before you looked away. The way your tongue darted out to wet your lips, the way your eyes caught the sunlight shining through the window, that same sunlight reflecting the highlights of your hair. It was like someone had bottled the dawn on a crisp spring time morning and put it in a person. God, you were the sweetest thing he’d ever seen. 

Joel forced his eyes from you and stared back down at the pages of his book. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you stealing another glance at him. It was quick, barely a turn of your head, but it was enough to send another wave of heat down his spine, and ignite a burning desire to drink you in. This time when his eyes snapped to you, he let them linger. 

He wondered what you were working on so intently, whether you came in here every day, what you did for work. Most importantly, he wondered if he came back here tomorrow, would he find you in the same spot again?

He watched as you chewed your lip in thought, brow furrowed in concentration, your fingers dancing over the keyboard. And when you looked up again, catching him mid-stare, all he could do was manage a sheepish smile at getting caught. He swore he saw the faintest hint of a smile tug at your lips again too. 

The shout of an order from behind the counter broke the moment and made him jump. With a huff of laughter at his own skittishness, he figured now was as good a time as any to head to the office. 

Joel pulled on his jacket, shoving his book in his back pocket. He checked the time and checked for his wallet and keys. He carried his empty cup to the counter and hesitated for the briefest moment at the door, resisting the urge to take one last look at you. He already knew he would be back tomorrow morning, and he hoped you would too. 

When he arrived at Harrison’s on the third morning earlier than he had the previous days, he told himself that the traffic hadn’t been as bad that morning, or maybe he was just managing his time a little better. It wasn’t because he was excited, and it definitely wasn’t to figure out what time in the morning you got there.

The barista winked at him when he ordered his coffee, and when she brought it over to him, there was a biscotti on his saucer he hadn’t asked for. 'On the house,' she’d said with a bat of her eyelashes, sliding the saucer toward him. He’d given her an awkward smile and a muttered thanks. 

He’d remembered his glasses today, but they weren’t improving his ability to read. He’d been staring at the same paragraph for fifteen minutes, rereading the words without really taking in any of them. He’d had to dig out his old canvas bag from the back of the closet this morning, realising he was going to run out of pockets if he kept carrying more and more things around every morning. 

He glanced at the time, and began to wonder if you would show at all. His coffee had gone lukewarm and he’d managed to make it to the next page when someone brushed past his table. The faint scent of perfume hit him and his heart stuttered when his eyes flicked up and watched you pass by and settle in to your usual spot. Your usual spot. He smirked to himself. He wondered how long it took to become a regular here. Did they have to know your name? Your order? He glanced at the uneaten biscotti on his saucer. Maybe he already was one.

Joel let his eyes flick up over to you as he took a sip of coffee before refocussing on the page in front of him, but he wasn’t even trying to read the words any more, too caught up in how his chest tightened at the lingering smell of perfume in the air around him, how his stomach flipped now that you were there. A little voice at the back of his mind toyed with the idea of speaking to you and his fingers twitched against the cover of his paperback at the thought. What would he say to you? “Come here often”?

Christ, Miller, he cringed. He wasn’t sure what was worse- the sheer cliché of it or the fact that it made him realise how old and out of practice he was. You deserved better than some lame pick-up line.

When his eyes darted up again and you were looking right at him, Joel felt that warm honey-like feeling spread through him again, soothing the harsh spike of self doubt that had begun to coil in his stomach. Before he could stop himself, he shot you the smallest smile. The way you blushed and looked away made Joel’s heart swell. It was cute- beyond cute- the way you seemed all flustered when he smiled at you. He wondered if you realised how endearing it was, how much it made him want to get your attention and say something. Anything. 

His fingers brushed the corner of the page as he wrestled with the idea. He may not be smooth these days, he was starting to worry he never had been, but maybe that didn’t matter. Maybe he could just introduce himself, ask what you were working on and see where the conversation went. Yeah, he thought, that didn’t sound too bad. 

Just as he decided his nerve had been sufficiently gathered, his phone buzzed loudly against the table. Joel flinched, muttering a quiet curse under his breath as he snatched it up and answered without looking at the screen. It was Tommy, sounding slightly harried. ‘It’s the Johnstone account’, he said, ‘they’re threatening to pull the whole thing unless they talk to you in person. You gotta get down here, Joel.’

“Yeah okay, I’ll be there soon,” was all he said in response before hanging up. He downed the last of his coffee and gathered up his things, disappointed that he had to leave so quickly after you arrived. It seemed things had gone a bit sideways at the office that morning and he didn’t want to leave his little brother to face the brunt of it alone. He considered trying to talk to you before he left, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to give you the time you were worthy of. He placed his cup and uneaten biscotti on the counter, ignoring the disappointed look from the barista. He was frustrated- at the account, sure, but mainly at himself for letting an opportunity to talk to you slip through his fingers because he was overthinking it. 

He promised himself that if you were there again tomorrow, he’d talk to you

The Johnstone account had spiralled in to a full-blown disaster that, apparently, only Joel could fix. Meetings had run on late last night and started early the next day, leaving him no time to do anything else. By mid-morning, his patience was wearing dangerously thin. He needed air. He needed coffee. He needed to know if you were still sitting in your usual spot at Harrison’s. 

When Tommy asked where he was going as Joel grabbed his jacket from the back of the conference room chair he’d been stuck in since 7am, “out” was the only response he had offered, his tone brooking no argument. 

Today was the day, he told himself as he dashed by people on the sidewalk. No more second-guessing, no more missed chances. If you were there today, he was going to speak to you. He had to. The thought of not doing it was worse than anything else at this point. He needed to know your name. He needed to hear how his name sounded when you said it. 

The sense of relief Joel felt when he walked in to Harrison’s and you were still there was palpable, despite the fact that his phone was pinging notifications at him. His forehead hurt from frowning so much and he responded to a message from Tommy as he ordered, frowning down at the screen. He felt a strange pang of guilt for not being able to get there earlier that morning, and the feeling multiplied tenfold when he spun round and you caught his eye, offering him a sweet little smile from across the room. He ran his hand through his hair for what felt like the millionth time that morning and fixed his face so he definitely wasn’t frowning at you. He took a beat when he reached his table, draped his jacket over the back of the seat, then took a couple of steps toward you. 

Only for someone to brush past him and head straight for you, a blur of brown curls and waving arms, her handbag bumping him in the side as she passed. He cleared his throat, turned around and sat down in his chair with a thud, feeling more than a little awkward. But then he heard your voice- soft, warm and lilting as you greeted the woman striding towards you. It felt like his heart missed a beat, then you smiled and it felt like it had stopped altogether. It wasn’t a shy, fleeting grin he’d caught glimpses of before, but a full, radiant smile that made everything around you shine- pure unguarded joy.

Joel had to remind himself to breathe. For a moment, he forgot where he was. Forgot about the Johnstone account and just about everything else. All he could think was that he wanted to be the reason you smiled like that. 

His reverie was broken by the barista bringing over his coffee. He muttered a thanks and took out his phone and opened his emails, thinking he should at least do something productive while he was there. After a few minutes, he became acutely aware of eyes on him and when he looked up it wasn’t you that was looking at him, it was your friend. She was fully turned in her seat staring straight at him. Joel’s stomach lurched- were you talking about him? When she twisted back around with a shrug, he had to swallow down a laugh at the expression on your face; you looked absolutely mortified.

He watched over the rim of his coffee cup as you both leaned in across the table to one another conspiratorially and felt suddenly guilty- like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. When he heard you cry out with a panicked ‘no!’, he jolted, his head snapping up to look at you. He watched as your friend held her hands up in surrender and decided it was time for him to head back to the office, if only to stop your friend teasing you. 

He chuckled to himself before he knocked back the rest of his coffee, shrugged on his jacket and made to leave, feeling the weight of two sets of eyes following him as he placed his empty cup on the counter and left the shop. 

By the time Joel made it to Harrison’s the next morning, he was resigned to the fact that they were going to lose the Johnstone account and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He figured he might as well stop in for a coffee before another long day of meetings. His phone still buzzed incessantly with emails and messages, each one more infuriating than the last, so he was distracted when he walked through the door and up to the counter. It wasn’t until he realised he couldn’t hear the barista confirm his order over the din of conversation that he looked up and realised it was busy. Busier than usual. So busy that there were no free tables. 

He sighed, turned back to the barista and changed his order to go, having to almost yell his name at her over the noise. The barista called out to her colleague as she scribbled the change of the order on his receipt. He leaned against the counter, phone in hand, scrolling through his schedule for the day. The sight of it made him wince. So this is how today’s gonna go, he thought.

He chanced a glimpse in your direction, flicked his eyes to the empty seat opposite you and was halfway through wondering whether he should try and talk to you again, when you raised your hand and waved. It was such a reserved gesture that he thought he’d imagined it at first. He blinked and checked to see if you were waving to someone else behind him, but when he turned back around, you nodded and beckoned him over.

Joel’s feet moved before his brain caught up, heart stuttering and a heat creeping up the back of his neck as he closed the distance between you. 

“Hi, uh…” you started. You faltered slightly, but your voice was like music to his ears. 

“You can sit here, if you like,” you said, gesturing to the chair opposite you. “Sorry your usual table’s taken.”

The warmth that spread through him this time wasn’t just like a shot of whiskey, it felt like he’d gulped down the whole damn bottle. It seeped down in to his core, soothing a chill he hadn’t known was there. A small flicker of nervousness crossed your face and he loosened up to try and put you at ease. 

“That’s awfully kind, Miss,” he said, managing to hide his nervousness well, “Thank you.” 

As he settled across from you, the heat rose up the back of his neck and in to his ears. He swallowed and gave you a small smile, reaching his hand out across the table.

“I’m Joel.” His voice may have been steady, but his pulse wasn’t, and he hoped you couldn’t feel how fast his heart was racing as you shook his hand and gave him your name. He repeated it, almost instinctively, savouring the way it rolled off his tongue. 

“It’s real nice to meet you,” 

He’d never meant anything more in his entire life.

Talking to you was easier than Joel could have ever imagined. You were bright, funny, interesting. He admired you- your bravery at leaving New York to come to Austin without a safety net, carving out a place for yourself in a city that didn’t know you. You hadn’t just survived; you were thriving. That much was clear in the way you talked about your life here. You weren’t bragging- you didn’t even seem to realise how impressive it all was. It took strength to start over like that, and he respected the hell out of it. 

He appreciated the way your eyes lit up when he answered your questions, like you were drinking him in. He could have talked to you all day. He could talk to you forever. 

When he’d looked at the time it felt as if his stomach had dropped through the floor. The morning had passed and he’d barely noticed. He panicked. He’d missed three meetings and had twelve missed calls. Tommy was going to have his head. 

When you looked up at him with a nervous smile and said ‘I’ll see you around, maybe?’,  he paused, reluctant to just run off and leave you. He wanted to hug you, hell, he wanted to kiss you. He settled for a touch on your arm and the promise of ‘same place, same time tomorrow.’ 

He was half way to the office before he realised that tomorrow was Saturday. 

Tommy had gone through him as soon as he’d stepped foot in his office, and Joel knew he deserved every second of it. 

“Just got caught up in somethin’,” Joel had muttered when he had asked where the hell he’d been.

“Told them you were sick and that’s why you missed their meeting. They rescheduled everything for Monday. You owe me.” Tommy said, not waiting for a response before stomping out the door.

He struggled to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the afternoon. He huffed a laugh when he realised he might as well have taken the day off sick- he wasn’t much use to anyone. His mind replayed your nervous smile, the way your voice had wavered when you’d said “I’ll see you around, maybe?”. The look in your eye when he’d touched your arm. 

He groaned and pressed his fingers against his brow bone. He’d panicked and run off and not even asked for your number. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. You hadn’t asked for his either, although he realised with a sinking feeling that he hadn’t really given you much of a chance to. 

He told himself he’d have a chance to rectify his stupid mistake the next morning. Sure, it was Saturday and he had no other reason to travel in to the city, but you’d agreed to ‘same place, same time tomorrow’ enthusiastically and he wasn’t going to risk the chance of you sitting there waiting for him. He spent the rest of the night trying not to overthink it. It would be fine. 

Except it wasn’t fine. When he got there on Saturday morning, you weren’t there. Joel had lingered in the coffee shop longer than usual, sitting in the seat at your table he’d occupied the day before, sipping his coffee, glancing round to the door every time it opened, but you didn’t appear.

No big deal, he told himself as he left, I’ll come back again tomorrow. She might just be busy, have other plans she forgot about.

When Sunday came and went the same way, Joel tried to stay positive. He sat in your seat to feel a little closer to you; figured if you turned up and told him he was in your spot he could make a cute joke about it. But you didn’t. 

By Monday, Joel was a mess. When you weren’t there, he ordered his coffee to go, unable to sit in the space without you another day. He thought about asking the barista if she’d seen you, but he didn’t want to be a creep. 

He watched forlornly as a couple sat down at your table and held hands across it. That could have been you if you weren’t such an idiot, Miller, he thought.

He convinced himself that he’d done something wrong, that he’d absolutely blown his chance and you wanted nothing more to do with him. He spent the rest of the morning replaying his conversation with you over in his head, dissecting every word, every expression. Had he come on too strong? Not strong enough? Were you insulted that he’d left so quickly? Insulted that he didn’t ask for your number? 

“Joel,” Tommy said that afternoon, leaning against the door frame of his office. “You alright?” 

“‘M’fine.” He muttered, not looking up from the papers on his desk. 

“Don’t seem fine to me,” Tommy said, raising an eyebrow, “Did somethin’ happen? You wanna talk about it?” 

Joel glared at him. “Don’t you have work to do?” 

Tommy held up his hands in surrender. “Alright. Just askin’. Whatever it is, maybe you oughta deal with it before you scare off the entire work force.” 

Joel watched his brother leave and took a deep breath. Tommy was right, he’d been stalking the office like a bear with a sore head, but he couldn’t help it. He’d had a chance at something amazing and immediately ruined it.

By the time he got home that night, he’d reconciled with the fact that if you weren’t there tomorrow, he’d take the hint. He’d accept that what he’d felt with you had been fleeting; something he was allowed to hold but not keep. He’d buy his usual store-bought coffee and drink it at home by himself, go back to his old routine and try not to think of you any more. 

Joel pushed open the door to Harrison’s the next morning with the depressing thought that this was probably the last time he’d visit it. His chest felt tight; he forced his face in to a neutral expression and walked up to the counter without a sideways glance, steeling himself for the horrible possibility that you weren’t there. 

“Joel!”

He snapped his head towards the sound and froze. For a moment, his brain struggled to catch up with his eyes. There you were, at your usual table, as if you’d never been away. You waved at him and your joyful expression shifted in to something more sheepish. There were two coffees on the table in front of you and it took him a long moment to realise that one of them was for him. 

Shock battled against the rush of relief that hit him as he crossed the room. You gave him a little smile as he sat down across from you and he suddenly worried that wasn’t sure what expression was on his face.

“Hey. I, uh… I wasn’t sure if you’d be here, but…” you gestured to the cup in front of him. “I thought I’d try and make up for the days I missed if you were. I realised after you left that I didn’t ask for your number and I felt like such an idiot. I had to fly back to New York last minute for… A family thing and I-”

“Hey, darlin’, don’t worry about it,” he let out a soft laugh, the tension that had been coiled in his chest for days unfurled itself, transforming in to a blooming warmth once more. “I’m just real glad to see you again.” 

He decided then, as he watched your face break in to a beautiful smile that maybe fate wasn’t such a hard thing to believe in after all. 

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