#i skipped songs in my actual playlist that i see all the time

[mynameisalanwake]

ineffable - a good omens playlist

link to playlist on spotify

DEAR GOD - XTC

And if you're up there you perceive That my heart's here upon my sleeve If there's one thing I don't believe in It's you Dear God

PALE BLUE EYES - THE VELVET UNDERGROUND

Thought of you as my mountain top, Thought of you as my peak. Thought of you as everything, I've had but couldn't keep. I've had but couldn't keep.

US - REGINA SPEKTOR

They'll name a city after us And later say it's all our fault Then they'll give us a talking to

THE ONLY THING - SUFJAN STEVENS

The only reason why I continue at all Faith in reason, I wasted my life playing dumb Signs and wonders: sea lion caves in the dark Blind faith, God’s grace, nothing else left to impart

ANGEL, WON'T YOU CALL ME? - THE DECEMBERISTS

But, Angel, won't you call me? Could I be the only though I am a lost cause Angel, won't you call me?

A PEARL - MITSKI

But it's just that I fell in love with a war And nobody told me it ended

TO LOVE A BOY - MAYA HAWKE

Wish I was not afraid Of all I have that's broken I know I must behave To contain all my emotion

JUDAS - THE REVERENT MARIGOLD

Is it only counting silver now you ever think of me? I who dared to love unblinking the bright son of Galilee On the mountain he held all creation in his sight And saw the killing kiss we shared in Gethsemane that night

TWO BEST FRIENDS - BB BEAN

They put one foot in front of the other Two best friends in love with each other And yeah they know but they don't care

SAINT BERNARD - LINCOLN

I said make me love myself, so that I might love you Don't make me a liar, because I swear to God When I said it, I thought it was true

[ambswoso]

could’ve been ii - leah williamson

the weddings over. you have to return to barcelona but you didn’t think you’d be seeing leah again so soon and she’s determined to get her girl back, in any capacity.

5.9k words. somehow it's longer than the first part.

leah williamson x mead!reader

“right beth, pack it in. i’m gonna miss my flight.” you laughed as you pushed out of her tight hug.

“you sure you’re gonna be ok?” beth stroked your hair, tucking the hair that had fell from your ponytail behind your ear. “it’s a two-hour flight bethy, i’m sure i’ll be fine.”

“yeah, a two hour flight by yourself to a foreign country!” beth emphasised, ever the protective big sister. “i do live there beth.”

“i know and i hate it. i miss you already.”

“i miss you too, but i really do have to go.” you once again released yourself from beth’s grasp, leaning over to give you new sister-in-law an equally big hug.

you headed over to security and waved at beth and viv one last time. “call me when you land, or i’ll send lucy to your apartment.” you heard beth call as you went, giggling to yourself.

now you just had two hours to kill, by yourself, until you were due at your gate. you may as well get back up to date with paperwork having been away for just over a week. airpods in you started powering through your work, or at least you were until a song you’d long deleted from your playlist started playing in your ears.

your song. both of yours.

leah had a habit of calling everyone ‘my girl’, particularly you when you were together because once upon a time you actually were her girl. the first time she called you it was on your first date. she picked you up, took you for a picnic on an unusually warm february day and dropped you home like the charming woman she always was. as you left leah’s car she called after you, “see you soon for the next one, my girl.” and if you weren’t already smitten from the date then that certainly sealed the deal. the next time she picked you up, ‘my girl’ was playing through her car radio and you decided there and then that it was your song. you only let leah know about it after you’d made things official, but she was fine with it. 

the same song that used to fill you with love and remind you of the love of your life, now just made your heart sink. you weren’t her girl anymore and she wasn’t yours.

you gave yourself only 30 seconds to enjoy the song before you skipped to the next. your shoulders had been rid of a particularly heavy weight since yours and leahs blowout at the wedding and you didn’t really feel like having it back just yet. besides you had work to do and a flight to barcelona to catch. 

other than that one slip up at the airport, you barely had time to think about leah, being thrown straight back into your work had helped distract you.

“hola chica.” you heard a voice call from outside your office, “¿cómo estás?” (how are you?)

“simplemente perfecta” (simply perfect). you told the tattooed woman who’d since made herself comfortable on your other chair.

“i think that was sarcasm” mapi observed. “tell me all about the wedding.” she leant forward resting her chin in the palms of her hands, smiling at you so innocently.

you’d become very friendly with a lot of the girls that played for barca since starting there, having lucy and kiera introduce you to them had helped. they liked finally having a physio who was similar to them, that enjoyed football, that was around their ages. as of recent and thanks to a knee injury, you had a new number one fan by the name of maría pilar león. she was in your office most days for rehab so naturally you learned a lot about each other.

“nothing to tell, maps. my sister got married, i wore a nice outfit, got drunk, had an argument with my ex-girlfriend, drank some more and flew back.” you quickly explained whilst pulling her file up on your computer, only turning to glance at her once you’d finished talking. 

“perdone, repita eso.” (excuse me, repeat that.) mapi gasped. you talked in her physio sessions, a lot, but you’d never discussed you and leah deeming it not fair on her to spread her relationship history around barca femenis football team. 

“wore a nice outfit, got drunk.” you smiled.

“you argued with leah? leah williamson?” mapi exclaimed.

“woah, how’d you know it was leah?”

“lucia loves to talk, everyone knows. it’s sweet you didn’t want to tell anyone though.” she smirked at you. “so why the argument?”

“well we never discussed the breakup properly so, i guess it all just came out that night instead.” you told her, glad to have someone impartial to vent to. “hop up on the bed please, mapi. i need to check your still okay to get back on the grass today.”

“and how do you feel?” she probes as she lays back. you’d both gotten very used to talking about your personal lives during mapi’s appointments. the pair of you had spent so much time together that there was no way you could end up not being friends.

“i don’t really know. there’s like a weight lifted off my shoulder because i said everything i’d been dying to say for a while, but it hasn’t like helped. i still miss it, even after getting that bit of closure.”

“was she unkind?” mapi asked. 

“not at all.” you responded quickly. “i don’t think she really knew why it had ended to be honest. she seemed a bit shocked. we were both sat there crying for a while.”

“the leah williamson crying?” mapi’s head shot up from where it lay, leaning back on her elbows. “god you must have really done a number on her.”

“trust me she’s not as tough as she makes out, or she didn’t used to be anyway.” mapi took notice of how you fondly you still spoke about leah, of how you still held the memories of you and her close to your heart. 

“i don’t think she’s tough at all anymore based on what keira says.” you heard mapi mumble under her breath. “what do you mean? what did keira say?” your questions came at rapid speed in mapi’s direction, the concern and worry you held for leah would probably never go away. 

“i’m staying silent.” mapi held her hands up in defence as you gestured for her to sit up from the bed. “but i do think you should talk to keira for once, i can tell it’s been a little awkward between you two.”

“i mean she’s leahs best friend i don’t want to get in the middle so i just stay out of it completely.” you brushed mapi’s comment off. it wasn’t only keira you’d distanced yourself from after yours leahs split and you knew you’d lost a lot of friends in the process, probably through your own fault rather than anyone else’s. “right, you’re all clear. get your ass back out on the grass maria. i’ll come check in in a little bit.” sending her one final smile to send her off.

you thought mapi had left, thoughts of the team knowing about your previous relationship and what keira may have possibly said ran through your head as you began to wipe down the treatment table where mapi once lay. 

 “lo siento if i’m overstepping but i feel as if we’re good enough friends that i can say this to you.” mapi’s voice scared you from the doorway that she evidently hadn’t moved from yet. “i can see you still love her, i mean you’ve been here for over a year and you’ve not been with anyone else or even tried.” 

“well i-“ 

“don’t even try because i already know you haven’t, mi amiga.” she sent you a knowing look as you rolled your eyes. “you should fight for it, for her, if it’s something you really want because from what you’ve said and what i’ve heard it sounds like she wants to fight for you. i don’t know what happened at home between the two of you, but it must have hurt, but you said yourself you miss the relationship and i think you miss her as well. everything you get is meant for you, y/n/n, and i know you believe that too. just ask yourself if in 5 years, you’re still going to be wishing you’d never left because i think you will.” this time maria actually left the room and with it left you with a lot to mull over. 

“stupid footballers, always giving their stupid advice. idiota.” you scoffed.

“i heard that.”

you filled out the rest of mapi’s paperwork before you went out to see how she was doing back on the grass. it’s quite hard to fill in someone’s medical forms whilst simultaneously having thoughts of your ex-girlfriend spinning around your head but nevertheless you got it done and made your way outside. you were happy with what you saw from mapi, shooting her a quick thumbs up as she waved before trying to disappear back to your office as to not disturb the other girls.

“hola guapa.” (hi beautiful). alexia shouted to you from the pitch as she saw where mapi’s attention was momentarily diverted. 

“te hemos echado de menos.” (we’ve missed you). salma called out as she ran to where you were and pulled you in the hug, others following along in her footsteps.

“hola chicas, i’ve missed you too.” you smiled with salmas arm still wrapped around your shoulders. “vuelve y entrena por favor.” (go back and train, please.)

“tu español es tan bueno ahora, hermosa.” (your spanish is so good now, beautiful). alexia smiled at you as she was the next to pull you into a hug. most people who you met were surprised to hear how welcoming and friendly alexia had been to you. 

when you first moved to barcelona, it’s safe to say it wasn’t under the best circumstances. just coming off the back of a painful end to your relationship, you’d retreated inside yourself and in hindsight moving away from both your family and friends probably didn’t help but you knew you couldn’t stay where you were. keira and lucy were there who you of course knew through leah and beth, but the last thing you wanted to do was cause any friction for them and their national captain, so you kept to yourself and just got to work.

alexia was near the end of her acl recovery when you started your new position, immediately being put in charge of alexia’s rehab and care as you’d had more than enough acl experience working for arsenal. she was a lot sweeter than you’d imagined, her injury putting her in a vulnerable position and you were right there alongside her. you were both healing in your own ways, alexia physically and you emotionally, and your bond quickly formed through that. you didn’t just become alexia’s go to for her physical needs but also her emotional, supporting her through many ups and downs that came with her recovery, and she could never thank you enough for that. when the both of you had spare time, she’d take you around barcelona and had introduced you to her friends and family. you were right there on the side lines watching proudly as she made her comeback in the la liga match against sporting huelva and the friendship continued to blossom even after her recovery. 

“training is nearly finished. no te preocupes.” (don’t worry.) the famously hardworking and driven captain brushed off the end of training, knowing how excited the girls would be to see you again even if it had only been just over a week. “cenamos esta noche?” (dinner tonight?)

“sí, suena bien.” (yeah, sounds good.). alexia had also been a big help in you learning spanish, something you’d been determined to do since arriving in barcelona and you’d come a lot further than keira put it that way. 

“y/n, can i talk to you for a second?” speak of the devil, keira came over to grab you as the rest of the girls headed into the changing rooms.

“yeah, of course. everything okay?” you asked her, secretly hoping she’d be coming to talk to you about an injury rather than leah, but you had no such luck.

“i heard about the wedding.” keira starts and you let out a sigh. “i know this probably doesn’t help but she’s really torn up y/n.”

“yeah, me and her both.” you scoffed defensively. you weren’t really angry at leah anymore, so you weren’t sure why you were acting like this, especially towards keira, but after being pretty torn up yourself for nearing a year and a half you didn’t feel like hearing how it was only now affecting leah. “i’m sorry, it was just a lot that’s all.”

“she keeps asking about you. told me to keep an eye on you, check if you were doing okay.” kiera revealed, “even before this.”

“really?” eyebrows raised, you questioned keira, thinking that leah pretty much continued having the time of her life after you moved away. 

“all the time. she still cares about you and you were really good together. you were good for her.” 

“she was good for me too, until she wasn’t.” you recalled, a sad smile gracing your face which didn’t go unnoticed.

“and i’m sorry you lost the rest of us too. she’s not the only one that’s been missing you. i feel like we haven’t had a proper conversation in ages.” she laughed.

“yeah, probably not.” you laughed a long with her. “but that’s probably more so my fault, just didn’t want to cause any tension, you know? so i’m sorry.” 

“you really don’t have anything to apologise for, y/n.” she wrapped an arm around your shoulder and lead you inside so she could get showered and changed before the hot water was no more.

“i’ve done enough crying this week, don’t make me start again.” you joked as you parted ways, you heading back to your office to get back to work for the afternoon and keira to the changing room. “oh and heads up, she’s coming to the game on saturday, bye!”

brilliant. great. fuck.

you’d expected to have a little bit more time before having to see leah again, let alone speak to her. you and her hadn’t had to come face to face for a year and a half and now you were seeing her twice inside of a month. you’d hoped you could get over your meeting by doing the same thing as last time, avoiding her, but turns out the universe had different plans this time. stupid universe. 

you tried to distract yourself from the imminent encounter with leah and went to dinner with alexia, ingrid and maria, knowing that was a safe place where leah wouldn’t be bought up for a couple of hours. you always had a good time with those girls and were grateful that they’d took you under their wing even though they really didn’t have to, you weren’t even on the team. 

another story post of you and alexia looking particularly friendly at dinner. leah had seen enough of these over the last year and a half but this one for some reason stung her just a bit more than the rest. she used her secret instagram account enough to realise how close you were with certain members of the barca team. she was happy that you’d settled in over there and yet she felt a pang in her heart at the fact that used to be you and her and her teammates. it still should be. 

leah wasn’t sure whether you knew about her coming to the game. she wasn’t sure whether she should go at all really but she hadn’t seen keira in a while, having missed out on the last national camp due to her knee. you came first though, more so now than ever. after your intense conversation, if you can call it that, at beth’s wedding, leah realised how much she’d dropped the ball towards the end of your relationship. you weren’t coming first to her; you weren’t being prioritised and yet you still did that for her. perhaps she was a bit naïve to think that you’d simply fallen out of love with her and that you’d grown apart naturally. everyday she regretted the fact she just let you walk out the door without fighting for you. she truly didn’t realise what she had until it was gone. she used to come back to a warm home with candles lit, dinner prepared and a stupid cheesy film ready to watch. realising that the warm home she felt she had, that you made, felt the exact opposite to you elicited gut wrenching feelings for her. 

had she ever stopped loving you? absolutely not. had she stopped appreciating you? yes, which she now realises had been her fatal flaw. stuck in her own head coming off the back of the euros success, dealing with fame and recognition that she didn’t realise she’d ever have. everybody wanted a piece of the england captain but she forgot to save a vital part of herself for you. this realisation had triggered something in leah, she needed you more than you’d ever know and she knew you needed her too. she’d give you everything you ever wanted, she’d pull the sun out of the sky for you if you asked and she wanted to show you, in one way or another. if you shot her down, or if she was too late then so be it but leah would be damned if she didn’t try her very hardest.

getting lost in her own thoughts she hadn’t realised she’d liked the instagram story you’d posted of yourself at dinner. thanking god, she was on her second account, until she realised she wasn’t religious and she was most definitely on her actual public verified account. you’d definitely seen it. you were out to dinner with your new friends, potentially a new girlfriend, and she’d just liked your story. your ex-girlfriend had just liked your story. maybe it would make it less weird if she followed you again and then liked your story, so she did, and it was still weird. leah felt a little like a stalker and maybe she was doing a bit of stalking, but she thought it was safe. now she was definitely nervous about seeing you on saturday.

you’d long been home from dinner, only posting about it once you’d all left the restaurant. fans could be a little bit crazy sometimes and you knew both barca and arsenal fans followed you on social media with you being both beth’s little sister and heavily featured on the girl’s accounts at one point or another. the notification came through to your phone as you were mindlessly scrolling through tiktok having tried to fall asleep and failed, your mind running rampant with thoughts of seeing leah again. as if someone had read your mind a notification came through from that exact woman. oh god, she’d liked your story. why would she like your story? why would she like your story and then follow you? maybe she was trying to make it less weird before the weekend. well, if that was her aim she hadn’t succeeded. 

“pick up, pick up, pick up.” you mumbled under your breath, pacing back and forth across your bedroom. “hello?” a voice came from the other side of the line.

“hello? oh, thank god you answered.” a sigh of relief left your mouth as your best friend picked up the phone, albeit she didn’t sound very happy to be answering but, nonetheless. 

“what do you want? it’s like midnight, i’m trying to sleep.”

“well if i can’t sleep neither can you. leah just refollowed me on instagram.” you practically shouted at her down the phone.

“okay, and?”

“and liked my story.” you paused and she didn’t answer, only hearing a huff down the phone so you continued, “of me and the girls out to dinner, specifically a picture of me and alexia.”

“no, i meant and as in like ‘and what’s your point?’. she followed you, you also used to sit on her face until like a year ago.” she pointed out, crudely. 

“oh my god!” you grimaced, “she also stopped following me as soon as i stopped doing that so this is a big deal.” 

“y/n/n, i’m not being funny but it’s really not. i mean you saw her like last weekend. she’s probably just trying to make amends.” she points out, just wanting to go back to sleep at this point and trying to make you feel better before she goes. 

“but this just makes this weekend so much more awkward now. like-“

“wait hold on, the weekend? what about the weekend?” she cuts you off. you realise you may have failed to mention that you had an inevitable encounter with leah approaching, having been distracted since keira told you earlier in the day. 

you sighed, “she’s coming to the quarter final. to see keira.” 

“well why didn’t you lead with that?” she was definitely awake now. “you’re gonna see her. she’s gonna talk to you.”

“do you not think i know that? that’s why i’m freaking out even more.”

“no don’t freak out. it’s a good sign.” she reassured you. “she’ll probably try and speak to you and you didn’t leave things on a very good note, so the follow and the like is a good sign.”

“do you think?” you asked, biting down on your freshly manicured nails. another €40 down the drain now you’d have to get them done again. 

recalling the wedding your best friend tells you, “i know it’s a good sign. you didn’t see her after you argued at the wedding. you might’ve been crying in the bathroom, but she was in bits too. when i saw her, she was practicall shaking y/n, like really upset. i mean she made sure i knew where you were and went to you so it’s obvious, she still cares about you.”

“keira said the same thing.” you smiled to yourself.

“so, stop panicking. try and get some sleep, okay?” she tells you and you nod, forgetting she can’t actually see you, so you hum in response instead. “right, i have to go because i have a normal job that starts at 8am. not all of us can be a doctor to the stars.”

“i’m a physiotherapist.” you corrected her.

“you say tomato, i say tomato. goodnight, love you.”

“love you too.”

trying not to think about it, the next few days passed like a blur, filled with twinges of knees and possible injuries to which thankfully none were serious. with little anticipation, gameday rolled around. were you for sure going to see leah? no. was it a strong possibility? yes, especially with keira’s meddling. 

having a lovely view, thanks to alexia’s assurance, you watched from crowd as barca beat brann with a comfortable 3-1, earning themselves a place in the champions league semi-final. you applauded and cheered for the girls from your seat. frido soon noticed you though beckoning you to come join their celebrations on the pitch. as soon as the other girls noticed, it was clear that no one was taking no for an answer so you climbed over the barriers and with security reassured you weren’t a very dedicated fan, alexia helped you down to the pitch. 

you hadn’t seen leah yet today, beginning to think that maybe you’d come away unscathed, but she’d spotted you within the first 5 minutes of her arrival. maybe it was because she was actively looking for you but there was no proof of that so. she watched on from the pitch where keira had summoned her as the barca girls made you come down from the stands to celebrate with them. you never missed an opportunity to do that at arsenal either as leah’s girlfriend, beth’s sister or their physio. you were always there for the matches come rain or shine, win or lose and it was becoming increasingly more obvious that you weren’t there anymore. the conti cup final was happening in a couple of days and leah wished nothing more than for you to be in the stands where you belonged cheering her on, but instead you’d be here. 

“oi!” keira shoves leah out of her thoughts, “did you listen to a word i just said?” and looks around to see what had garnered leahs attention to which she found you in her sights. “stupid question, obviously not.”

“sorry.” leah mumbled, still yet to actually look away from you.

“you’re not sorry. you should go talk to her.” keira began her meddling. 

“yeah maybe in a bit.” leah smiled sadly at keira, the falseness of it not fooling her best friend for a second. 

you finally caught eyes with leah as alexia turned you in the direction of a funny sign that had her attention, but you found the blonde stood 15 metres from you a lot more interesting, especially the fact that she was already looking at you. so interesting that you hadn’t noticed alexia leaving until you felt her squeeze your arm and heard her tell you she’d be back in a minute. well now you were alone, the girls making their walk around the pitch to celebrate with the fans on the other side. you distracted yourself with a conversation with one of the medical staff that had been on the staff for today’s match, they informed you of the little niggles and twinges some of the girls had complained of during the game and half time. 

“muchas gracias. que pase buena noche.” (thank you so much, have a nice evening.) you thanked the woman with a smile as the rest of the medical team packed up to leave.

“de nada. buenas noches.” (you’re welcome. goodnight.)

pulling your phone out you made a note of what she’d told you. “hi.”

there she was. you wondered how long it would take between you seeing her and her approaching. 10 minutes apparently. “hi.”

“hello.” she said again, you giggling at the awkwardness she never seemed to grow out of. “wait i already said that.”

“yep, you did.”

leah was relieved that you were laughing, better yet that she was the one making you laugh, or even speaking to her after the way things had been left at beth and viv’s wedding. “can we talk?”

“ye-“ you were interrupted by a hold on your arm from a certain spanish midfielder. 

“estás bien?” (are you okay?) alexia asked, directing her attention to you not yet looking at leah. alexia knew all about your past relationship, you’d told her in one of your numerous physio sessions as she had told you about hers. well you hadn’t ever told her who it was only that said ex-girlfriend played alongside your sister but she’d figured it out with the small help of mapi telling her exactly who she was. 

“si, soy buena.”(yeah, i’m good.)  you smiled at her, not sure why she looked so worried for you. leah noticed your smile reached your eyes, a real genuine smile you were sending alexia. one she hadn’t coaxed out of you in some time, and she felt her heart sting once more. it was one thing seeing yours and alexia’s friendship or whatever it was through her phone screen but seeing it stand directly in front of her was worse than she thought.

“hola, leah.” once she saw that you were okay and seemingly unaffected (you were affected, just keeping it under wraps) by leahs approach, alexia turned her attention to her fellow blonde national captain. 

“hi. good game.” leah pulled alexia in for a handshake, trying not to let the jealousy that was bubbling inside her show on the outside. 

“oh, thank you. nice to see you.” alexia gave her a tight smile as she squeezed your hand and headed to follow the rest of the girls back inside. alexia was worried for her new friend, not wanting to see her return to the headspace she was in when she first arrived in barcelona. 

you and leah headed back towards the stands where coincidentally you’d only been sat a few rows apart. “how are you?” she asked as she gave you a hand to help you back over the barrier. 

“yeah, i’m good. how are you?”

“been better.” she sent you a sad smile. “i know you probably haven’t got much time but i just wanted to see if you’re up for getting a coffee or something before i go home on monday?” 

you were both surprised and not surprised at leah’s question. you’d expected to have a conversation with her but thought it might’ve happened today. mapi’s words of advice rang through your head. you did miss her a lot, you thought about her all the time. maybe having that closure without the arguing would help you process this. clearly, you’d been doing a pretty shitty job by yourself for the past year and a half if every time you saw her all the feeling came rushing back. 

“yeah actually, i’d like that. i’m free tomorrow morning?” you proposed.

“wait really? are you joking?” the smile appeared on her face. shed asked the question half expecting you to say no.

“obviously i’m not joking you idiot.” you laughed at her expression.

“tomorrows good. tomorrows so good.” she told you, still smiling widely. in reality, tomorrow wasn’t good. she had plans to go for breakfast with keira and her girlfriend tomorrow, but keira could wait. they’ll get lunch instead. 

should someone be this stressed to see their ex-girlfriend again? probably not. should they also be this stressed over what they look like to see their ex-girlfriend again? also, probably not.

you’d been up 2 hours before you were supposed to be after not sleeping much at all in the first place. you’d gotten your outfit ready last night, declining your invitation to the club with the team to celebrate to ensure that you had a fresh head in the morning. deciding that the outfit you’d chosen last night wasn’t good enough and you hated your entire wardrobe ended with about 4 outfit changes before you finally got in your car, 20 minutes after you were supposed to leave.

“i’m so sorry i’m late leah.” you rushed out as you sat across from her at the table shed been perched at for 25 45 minutes. 

“don’t worry, just had me thinking you weren’t going to show up.” she chuckled nervously, sliding the drink shed bough you over to you. “one iced latte with oat milk and one shot of vanilla and a shot of hazelnut.”

“you remembered.” you smiled at her. your coffee order had never changed in the years leah had known you and it hadn’t since. if you needed to be in work earlier than leah, there would be an iced latte on your desk promptly when she walked through the doors of the training centre. 

“hard not to remember when you probably consist of 90% iced latte.”

“so has keira shown you the barcelona sights?” 

“a few. found my favourite one yesterday at the game though.” she flirted. old habits die hard, i guess.

“i see you haven’t lost your charm miss williamson.” you laughed lightly. both of you dancing around the real reason leah asked you to meet.

“you seem really happy here, y/n/n.” leah pointed out. a bittersweet feeling to know that you were thriving somewhere else when she believed you should be in london, with her, but at least you were happy.

“yeah its been rough, i wont lie to you.” leah winced at your words, realising she’d been the reason for your move in the first place so she had no right to wish you were back in london. this was your home now. “you were a big part of my time in london so we said goodbye and then i had to say goodbye.”

“i know we left beth and viv’s on a sour note, but i really am genuinely sorry. for everything. the breakup, the neglect, the argument at the wedding. all of it.” she reaches across the small coffee table to grab your hand, something she always did to stop you biting at your painted nails. 

“you still have it?” you borderline gasped at the sparkle you noticed on leahs hand. as soon as you noticed she retracted her hand, as if moving it would somehow take back what you’d seen, but you held tightly.

“erm-“ she cleared her throat, not expecting you or anyone else to see that the ring you bought her still holds pride of place on her hand some days, today being one of them. “yeah, i just like to have it on sometimes. reminds me of a better time.” in reality, she was wearing it at the wedding and hadn’t taken it off since. how could she take the ring off if she hadn’t stopped thinking about the girl who gave it to her? 

“i didn’t mean to be so harsh towards you the other week, le.” you told her as you let go of her hand, falling back into your seat. “i think i just got overwhelmed. the whole day was a lot, you just got the brunt of it.”

“trust me i deserved it. if all i get of you these days is to be your punching bag, i’ll take it. it’s the least i can do.”

you chuckled sadly, knowing exactly what lead you and leah to this point but still wondering how you got here at the same time. “i miss you, y/n/n. i know i said it at the wedding, but it’s been a year and a half and some days i think i might be over it, that i might be ready to move on but i’m not and i’m really scared that i never will be.”

“i don’t want you to think that i don’t miss you because i do. all the time.” you confessed to her. “but that doesn’t change the fact that what happened and what you did really hurt me, leah. towards the end i was so afraid of you going to an event or a trip and leaving me that i didn’t realise i’d left myself behind already.”

leah hung her head. never in her life had she been so ashamed of how she’d treated someone, especially someone who loved and cared about her so deeply. you would have done anything for leah and a lot of the times you did. she always came first with you, and you did to her, until all of a sudden you didn’t. deep down you knew that it was partly to do with leah dealing with the sides of fame she never had to deal with before, becoming a household name within the space of a few weeks during the euros, but you also knew that you just weren’t her priority anymore whether she meant to do it or not. 

“but i’m really tired of being angry leah.” you continued, the word ‘but’ sending a slither of hope through leah as she looked back towards you. “and i do miss you, so id really like it if we could be friends again.”

“i’d really like that too. having you back in any capacity is more than i deserve and more than good enough for me.” leah smiled wider than you’d seen in a while. even on your stalks through instagram you knew that half those smiles were fake.  

“friends?”

“friends.”

the long awaited part 2! decided there will be at least 1-2 more parts of this just bare with me. enjoy🤍

[homesick4la]

complicated — hamzahthefantastic

2. with you all night

contains: 18+ content mdni! nsfw at all lol smut and a bit of fluff towards the end!

summary: your night gets much more interesting when you decide to go back to your ex’s apartment.

a/n: this starts exactly where the last part ended!

last part: pushing it down and praying

reentering the main room, you quickly find matthew still talking with his friends, completely oblivious. you force a smile and touch his arm lightly, “hey, i really don’t feel good— think i’m gonna head home and go to bed.”

his brows furrow, believing your act. “did you want me to give you a ride home?”

“no, no! i’ll just get an uber! i don’t want to take you away from your friends.” you give him a reassuring smile.

he nods, “alright, well text me when you get home.” he says before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.

with that, you make your way through the crowd once again. your heart racing as you grow closer to the front door.

you worry that hamzah has already left as you finally open the door. but there he was, leaning against a wall with his hands shoved in his pockets.

it was much darker outside, the empty street only illuminated by a few warm toned street lights.

“figured you’d ditch me.” he says, his tone teasing.

“thought about it.” you reply, smirking as you begin walking down the sidewalk.

he quickly falls into step beside you, so close that you can feel your hands brush every so often.

the tension crackles between the two of you, the quiet night air only heightening it.

“so, does ‘new guy’ know you’ve got terrible taste in music?” hamzah teases, tilting his head to the side, glancing over at you.

you roll your eyes, “he doesn’t have terrible taste- he actually listens to my playlists without skipping every other song”, you shoot back, unable to hide the grin on your face.

“ouch!” he presses a hand to his chest dramatically, “hey! i let you play your music in my car. that’s love, you know.”

you laugh, shaking your head. “yeah, well that is because you wouldn’t know good music if it hit you in the face.”

he chuckles, leaning in a little closer, “i knew a good thing when i saw it,” he says softly, allowing his words to linger in the crisp night air.

you roll your eyes, scoffing. “that line might work on your other hook-ups, but i know you too well for that.”

he grins, lifting his hands in a pretend surrender.

“alright, alright. so maybe i am laying it on thick. but you can’t blame me— you show up looking like that and expect me to just…behave?”

“mm maybe that was my plan all along, to see if you’ve learned to control yourself.”

he laughs lowly, shaking his head to himself. “you’re dangerous, you know that?”

“dangerous?”, you chuckle. “that’s rich coming from you.”

you’re almost at his building now, and the banter has done absolutely nothing to kill the tension between you. once you reach his door, he turns to you, eyes flickering over your face.

“you’ve still got time to change your mind.” he whispers, his tone sounding almost daring.

you sigh, “actually, i’m just here because i wanted to see if your apartment is still as messy as i remember.”

he chuckles as he unlocks the door, “guess you gotta come in then.”

as you walk inside, your heart is racing. after you hear the door click shut behind you, you feel his hands pull at your waist, turning you around so you’re face-to-face. he walks you backwards until your back meets the cold surface of the front door.

“seriously, y/n, you’re sure about this?” he questions, his dark eyes staring into yours.

all of your doubts has melted away with the warmth of his touch. you wanted him bad. you were sure about that.

“i’m a hundred-percent sure, hamzah.”

in half a second, his lips are connecting with yours. kissing you with an urgency that sent shivers down your body. his hands settle to your hips, pressing your body against the door as he quickly deepens the kiss, almost as if he was making up for lost time.

the familiarity of his warmth, his scent, the pressure of his body against yours— it’s all so undeniably comfortable and intoxicating. you felt like a missing piece of yourself was put back in place.

you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. his lips place slow kisses along your jaw to your neck as his hands steadily hold you in place.

you close your eyes, allowing yourself to indulge in the sensation.

he pulls away, resting his forehead to yours. “i don’t want to mess this up.” he says breathlessly.

you cradle his face between your hands, “then don’t.” you smile.

that’s all he needs to hear before he presses a quick kiss to your lips and slipping his hand into yours, leading you down the familiar hallway to bedroom.

he glances back at you every so often, making sure that you were real behind him— that this was all really happening.

as you reach his bedroom, the dim light of the hallway spills in. the air of the dark room is thick with anticipation.

he closes the door softly behind you. his gaze then meets yours- his eyes are filled with a certain longing, a certain hunger.

he walks towards you, his hands landing on your hips as he pulls you into another kiss. it’s heated. sloppy. urgent. his fingers press into the skin of your hips as if he simply can’t get enough of you.

he lifts you effortlessly by the hips, causing you to instinctively wrap your legs around him as he carries you to his bed.

he sits at the edge of the bed, holding you down in his lap. his lips crash into yours, his hands slipping under your shirt, wondering aimlessly upon your skin.

you pull away from the kiss and tug at the hem of his t-shirt. hamzah assists you in pulling it off and once it is off, you waste no time running your hands along his biceps, forearms, shoulders, peppering kisses along his jaw.

his head tilts back, “god, i’ve missed you.” he mutters breathlessly.

you lift your head, looking into his eyes, “you never stopped thinking about me, huh?” you tease.

“not for a fucking second.” he replies, a devilish smile plastered on his face as he begins pulling your shirt off of you.

he disregards your shirt, throwing it to the floor.

“lie down for me.” he demands, his voice soft. “wanna see all of you.”

you climb off of his lap, lying down in the middle of his bed. he promptly pulls your skirt down your legs, your underwear coming down with it. you feel vulnerable as you lie completely naked with him watching over you.

however your insecurities dissipate as he whispers, “you’re killing me, y/n. you’re so fucking beautiful and you don’t even know it.”

he gets rid of his jeans, his erection more prominent through just his boxers. he sits down beside you, back flat against his headboard. “c’mere”, he says, motioning you to his lap once again.

the second you straddle him, his mouth finds your nipple, sucking it into his mouth. his fingers splay against your back as you shamelessly rock your hips against his covered erection.

“lift up real quick”, he says patting one of your hips as he gives you the instructions.

you do as he says, going onto your knees.

he leaves a quick kiss to your ribcage before smoothly moving down the mattress, not stopping until his head was perfectly positioned between your thighs.

“sit, baby.” he says. as his hands go to your hips, guiding you to his face. you let out a sharp gasp as your heat reaches his mouth- his tongue instantly working against you.

“fuck, hamzah.” you cry out, your hands flying to the headboard in front of you, desperate to grip onto something.

he hums against you, continuing to eat you out in a way that left you seeing stars. he was absolutely starved for you. prideful, satisfied groans leaving the back of his throat each time you whimpered or moaned incoherent words.

his tongue pushes in and out of you, drags across your folds and circles your clit before sucking on the bundle of nerves.

you let out a loud cry as your pleasure reaches its peak. the orgasm especially intense as you hadn’t had one in a while- matthew’s focus was always on his own pleasure rather than yours.

hamzah’s fingers trace your lower back as you catch your breath. after a moment, he helps you lie back down on the bed beside him.

he hovers over you, “you need a second?”

you shake your head as you smirk, reaching your arms upward and linking your fingers at the nape of his neck. “nope, want you right now.”

he smiles excitedly. “arms above your head.”

you listen to him and watch as he reaches to his nightstand, grabbing his belt that laid on top of it.

“you trust me?” he questions. you nod eagerly.

“use your words, baby. are you okay with this?”

“yes, i want it hamzah.” you reply.

he took your wrists in one of his hands and brought them to the metal bar of his headboard. you felt your heart beat faster as he finished looping your wrists to the bar, restricting your movement.

he bends down, pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. then he starts kissing down your jaw, to your neck, your collarbone, between your breasts. you’re almost certain he’s leaving marks as he goes but it feels way too good for you to care.

he gets up for a second, removing his boxers. you bite your lower lip at the sight of his hard erection.

he climbs back over you, positioning one arm on the side of you while he stroke himself with the other.

he begins slowly running his cock up and down through your folds, a feeling that leaves you whimpering and arching your back.

“you’re such a tease.” you whine, causing him to give you a cocky grin as he pushes his erection inside of you.

you moan at the stretch of him inside of you, a pleasurable pain.

a load groan leaves his throat as soon as he’s fully inside of you, his head tilting back and his eyes shutting at the feeling of your warmth around him.

“fuck, you feel so good.” he says, slowly thrusting in and out of you.

all you can do is nod in agreement as your chest rises and falls rapidly, overwhelmed with pleasure.

as he increases his pace, he reaches under your right leg- throwing it over his shoulder so he can push even deeper inside.

your body is completely at his mercy and it turns you on more than you could ever imagine.

your lips part open in pleasure, a moan of his name escaping them every so often. his thrusts get rougher, leaving you feel as if you were literally floating.

gradually, you feel orgasm build once again, feeling even more intense than the last.

“i’m so close, hamzah.” you cry.

“i know, baby, let it all out.” he replies, keeping up his quick pace.

as you hit your peak, you arch your back more than you thought possible, making up for the lack of being able to grip onto anything with your hands. you whimper his name, repeating it as if it was a fucking prayer.

hamzah reaches his high with you, groaning loudly as you feel his warm release inside of you. the feeling was absolutely euphoric. how did you ever last that long without him?

after he pulls out of you, he reaches to the headboard- releasing your wrists from the restraint. then he plops down next to you on the bed, the both of you lying on your backs trying to catch your breaths after your highs.

after a few seconds, you break the silence.

“holy shit, hamzah.” you exclaim, still out of breath from the intensity of your orgasm.

he chuckles, “you gonna admit that you missed me now?” he teases.

“you’re an idiot.” you laugh.

“of course i missed you.” you continue, turning your head towards him.

he grins, putting his arm around you and kissing your temple.

you two lay there for a few minutes, soaking in the silence of the night, feeling comfortable in the dim lighting of his bedroom.

you reach for your phone on the ground, picking it up to check the time. 1:26 am.

“fuck- it’s late. i guess i should go.” you say, shimmying out of his hold and putting your underwear back on.

“just stay the night— i mean, if you want to. you can use my shower and borrow some clothes.” he suggests, seeming a bit nervous.

you consider it, thinking about how the longer you stay, the more painful it’s gonna feel when it’s all over.

but you are tired. and getting an uber at this time would be difficult so it made the most sense to stay, right?

if you were being honest with yourself, you really just wanted to stay a little longer in the place you felt was your second home for so long.

“you sure? i don’t want to intrude.” you look at him.

“you’re not intruding at all, y/n.” he responds quietly.

he throws on his boxers and leads you to the bathroom, grabbing you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers on the way.

he turns on the water for you as soon as the two of you enter the bathroom, letting the water warm up. he leaves the folded up clothes on the counter and pulls out a spare toothbrush from under his bathroom sink.

“alright- there’s a new toothbrush and all my skincare stuff is still in this drawer if you want to use it any of it, uh- need anything else?” he says, turning back around to you.

“no, this is good, thank you.” you smile softly.

he goes to leave, and then you stop him.

“hamzah, wait.” as nervous you are to ask, you simply crave more of his presence. “will you stay and shower with me?” you question, your voice quiet.

he nods. without a word he walks towards you, helping you take off you underwear. his touch soft and gentle.

after removing his boxers, he guides you into the shower. the two of you engulfed in the steam of the shower, facing one another.

you wash each other’s hair, a constant stream of smiles and giggles coming from both of you. there was such a sweet innocence to the moment. you felt as if you were in your own little world, just you and hamzah.

you completely let yourself forget that you were ex’s, that you were dating matthew, that this was gonna completely change things moving forward.

you just let yourself enjoy what was happening.

you two complete your night routines together. cracking jokes as you bump elbows in the small bathroom.

after, you curl up in his bed. the familiar scent of his sheets and the warmth of hamzah’s body next to yours bringing you immense comfort as you drift off into sleep.

…

you wake up to the soft morning light filtering through sheer curtains. looking to your side, you find blue curled up next to you. at the end of the bed, red lies sprawled out with his belly up.

“you two haven’t changed at all.” you laugh, reaching down to pet red.

at that moment, hamzah walks into the room carrying a tray with two coffees and a brown paper bag.

“hey sleepy girl. the cats already fighting over you?”

you laugh at his question, “they missed me.” you smile as blue crawls into your lap.

he hands you a coffee and pulls out a bagel from the paper bag.

“iced vanilla latte with oat milk. extra ice. everything bagel. extra cream cheese.” he recites proudly, waiting for your reaction.

“show off.” you tease, taking a bite of the bagel before thanking him.

you two sit on the bed, eating your bagels while playing with the cuddly kittens next to you.

you feel as if the two of you have slipped right back into routine, as if no time had ever passed at all.

but the truth was time had passed. and you two had ended things for a reason. and now, things were about to get even more complicated.

a/n: i never know when to stop lol hope u guys enjoyed it!!!!! the title is from this inhaler song eek k bye muah

[catssluvr]

holy cow that playlist one was perfect☹️☹️ seriously it was better than i imagined!! and i love all of the songs u used AND i loveeee stevie nicks ugh it was just perfect thank you sososo much!!!

also.. if you still want requests! i have too many ideas i fear, but i was thinking!! maybe like reader is an intern at the bau and emily meets her for the first time and its just fluff and pining perhaps?

thank u so much again!

-🐞

i’m sosososo glad you loved it 💌 your requests always make my day 🫶🏻 i’m always open for ur requests bug, show me all ur ideas 🤍 ILY

𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒆, emily prentiss

emily prentiss x fem!reader

emily meets you and is immediately enchanted <3

warnings: none<3

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

Emily scribbles down on the papers in front of her, chin resting on the palm of her hand. It's a pretty normal day at work, no current case going on, just loads of files to fill and meetings to attend. The bullpen is almost entirely quiet, the only sounds being of pens scribbling and hushed voices.

Her gaze snaps up when she hears Aaron's office door opening and closing, expecting him to tell the team to meet in the conference room. To her surprise, he's walking side by side with a girl she doesn't remember seeing before. You.

You smile politely as Hotch introduces you to almost everyone who passes, she wonders how much more beautiful your actual smile is. It feels impossible for it to get even prettier.

You're visibly nervous, hands rubbing against your blazer before going in for a handshake. Your suit looks like it's been ironed hundreds of times as it doesn't have one single wrinkle - you made sure it didn't.

She finally notices the internship card on your blazer and it all clicks. You're obviously nervous with reason, she remembers how hard she wanted to impress and prove herself when she first started working at the bau. But she can't help but think that the way you look around the bullpen in wonder is absolutely adorable.

Hotch suddenly starts approaching her desk, you following right behind. He also has a polite smile on his face, Emily's not surprised you can even get the biggest grump she knows to smile.

"This is SSA Prentiss," He proceeds to introduce you to her, she swears her heart skips a beat at you smiling directly at her now.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Agent Prentiss." You reach out to shake her hand, wide eyes starting at her in anticipation. Your skin feels even nicer than it looks, the gentle squeeze you give her before letting go making her knees go weak.

"The pleasure is all mine." She replies, feeling weirdly at a loss of words. It's not like she can say anything with Hotch standing right there, he'd notice her flustered behaviour way too quickly.

Before anything else can happen, he's pulling you to another table to introduce you to everyone else. You glance quickly over your shoulder to find her looking, a small smile escaping your lips before you can stop it.

Emily feels giddy just from the small interaction and she's not even sure why. She knows nothing more than your name yet it's like you've bewitched her in matter of seconds.

Later you find yourself grabbing a cup of coffee before leaving, not wanting to be half asleep while driving home. It was definitely a long day, a good one nevertheless. Hard work got you here and you feel proud of yourself.

Too lost in your own bubble, you turn around and head to the exit, not noticing the figure coming right in your direction. Your coffee spills all over the person's blazer, staining it in a way you know won't come off.

Lifting your eyes, you find hers already looking at you. Your cheeks feel hot in a heartbeat, embarrassment consuming you whole.

"Oh god- i'm so sorry, Agent Prentiss." You rush to get paper towels and start not very successfully cleaning her blazer.

"It's okay, it was an accident. And Emily is fine." She reassures, pulling your hands away gently and you shudder at her touch.

"I guess that wasn't a great first day impression." You scrunch your nose and signal to her blazer. You were very confident it had been a great first day moments before. Maybe you started celebrating way too soon.

"What? Just because you accidentally spilled your coffee?" Emily chuckles with raised eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm really sorry anyway. Is there anything i can do to make up for it?" You question hopefully, throwing the paper towels on the garbage.

"Well, there's this really nice new coffee shop in town. i wouldn't mind a free coffee. Promise i won't spill it on you as revenge." It doesn't sound like a bad idea, getting coffee with her.

"A free coffee it is." It's your turn to chuckle now, spilled coffee long forgotten. "And you better not, i don't have as many suits as you probably do."

Emily shakes her head with a smile, mentioning for you to follow as she walks to her table and grabs a paper with her number on it.

Not a bad first day at all.

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

love you,

cat 🤍

[reputationolivia]

try again?

would anyone be interested in this, i thought of this plot awhile back and started working on it recently but i feel like its just gotten long and idk i feel like it might be a bit boring? so idk if anyone would be up for reading this! but i put a little snippet of it here so if anyone sees this please share your thoughts! :)

18+ minors dni

warnings: none for this one yet.

summary: you and harry dated for almost 5 years but you ended things, only problem? you got a cat together three years ago that you co-parent.

wc: 1.8k

I glanced around in search for opal as I tied the laces on my shoes. She’s always been good at hiding when she sees her crate out and ready for her, but i was ready for her today with her favorite treat in hand. "Opal, where are you baby?” I called for her. pacing through the living room I heard a faint meow coming from the kitchen, and i sighed, already knowing where she would be - the narrow gap between the counter and the fridge. I bend down and waved her treat in front of her little face to get her interested in it. “Come on out sweetie,” i coaxed, slowly her fluffy face popped out of the gap and she began licking the treat. I took this as my opportunity and gently tugged her out and scooped her up, letting her have the entire treat now as I walked over to her crate.

As I helped opal get settles into her crate I tried not to think too much about the trip ahead and what’s to come. The keys jingled in my hands as i snatched them from there small side table near the front door creating a slight sound of normalcy between all of the craziness my life has been lately. I slung my headphones around my neck, and with opal securely inside her carrier i finally stepped out into the bright, sunlit street. I caught my reflection in a car window and felt a bit ridiculous - sunglasses on, headphones dangling, and cat in tow - i shrugged it off and began my journey to the subway station.

The subway ride was pretty uneventful, at least it was at first. Opal was sitting quietly in her crate beside me as she watched the window in front of us, watching the city blur through the window. I put my headphones on and mindlessly browsed through Apple Music, i eventually decided on just playing “my station” after not being able to settle on any of my existing playlists. I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular really, i mean besides the fact that I was currently on my way to meet my ex boyfriend of 4 1/2 years. As if my phone knew what was on my mind a familiar melody began playing, i felt my body tense as i recognized it immediately, my chest tightened and the air suddenly became too thick to breathe. I reached for my phone to skip to the next song. It was his song, of course it’d be my luck that’s the song that starts playing as I’m on my way to see him again. Of course, skipping it didn’t help, the damage was done.

Moving on has been hard, actually it’s been more than hard, it’s been hell, absolutely brutal. We were together for so long, four and a half years. That’s a long time to share a life with someone, it wasn’t just the memories that lingered though - it was our plans, the dreams we shared that we’d stay up all night talking about, when the world felt ours. Marriage, kids, a beautiful house with a garden, i thought it was all within reach, that it was just a matter of time. But now? Just the sound of his voice in a song sends me spiraling. It’s only been a couple months since we broke up, and seeing him as often as I do doesn’t exactly help with the whole “moving on” thing.

But now, all we have left is opal.

Opal. Our little baby. She wasn’t quite a child, but the closest thing we had. We adopted her when she was just a baby, three months old. After we broke up neither of us could bear to part with her. we had gotten her together so in the end we decided on co-parenting opal, which isn’t ideal but at the very least she had two people who loved her, and despite our failed relationship i knew she was safe with him. Even if seeing him every time i dropped her off still hurt.

The familiar ding of the subway pulled me out of my thoughts and i realized we were at our stop. I pulled my headphones back down to the back of my neck as i stood up, then grabbed opals crate and hopped off the subway. I felt like the subway ride ended far too quickly, and before i realized it i was walking up the now somewhat familiar street towards his apartment. as i got closer and closer each step i took felt heavier than the last. It felt like i was dragging the weight of everything we left unsaid, unresolved. I tightened my grip on opals crate, her quiet purring served as a reminder that despite everything, some things hadn’t changed.

But most things had.

I wasn’t the same person who used to walk the streets of New York with him by my side, laughing at the stupidest things, talking absentmindedly about everything, and nothing at all. Yet now it feels like that was a lifetime ago when in reality it was just a few short months ago. And now here i was, walking the streets of the city we once shared, alone. Having to act normal in front of the man i loved, love but trying not to as I’m about to hand over our cat like it was just some business transaction, something normal.

Ahead i spotted him standing in front of his building. He was leaning against the wall near the doors to the lobby, looking down at his phone, a casual stance that didn’t betray any of the turmoil i was feeling. Typical harry, i thought. Always composed, always calm. I wished i could say the same for myself. I reached up with my free hand to adjust my sunglasses, hoping they hid more than just the sun from my eyes. As i approached his eyes were still glues to his phone, did he even notice i was walking up to him? Now a few feet away from him, i clear my throat in hopes of catching his attention, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible.

He finally looks up, his green eyes meeting mine, and though he couldn’t see mine due to my sunglasses i swore i could see something flash in his - recognition? Annoyance? Regret? I couldn’t quite place it. Maybe I’m just imagining things. “Hey,” he said, finally pushing off the wall and sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Hey,” i replied, keeping my voice as steady as i could even though every bit of me felt like breaking and like my voice was shaking with the tension of being this close to him. We walk into the lobby and i crouch down to let opal out. Immediately, she dashed out of her crate, and toward him, brushing against him with a happy meow. I couldn’t help the slight pang of jealousy i felt at how easily she seemed to adjust to this life of back and forth we’d created for her. I wish it was that easy for me.

“It’s been a while, nice shoes by the way.” Harry said as he crouched down, scratching opal behind her ears. He didn’t look at me when. He said it, instead keeping his eyes on opal. I couldn’t tell if it was a statement or a subtle dig when he said it’s been a while. “Yeah works been a bit hectic, and thanks.” I responded as i stood there awkwardly and hugged my arms to myself. Suddenly the distance between us felt a lot larger than just a few feet.

He stood up slowly, his gaze finally meeting mine, and i just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. “How’ve you been?” He asked, for a moment i almost believed he actually wanted to know.

Good. You?”

“Same.” he said, glancing down at opal again.

The conversation stalled, i could feel the silence expanding between us, this is all we had now — awkward exchanges, empty words just to fill the space where something real used to be. I wanted so badly just to say something, anything that could break through the surface. I didn’t even know where to start, everything felt too different, too fragile and close to breaking. Opal meowed again, winding between our legs, completely oblivious to the tension hanging in the air between us.

I sighed, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “She’s been eating normally. Likes to hide under the bed more often lately but that’s probably because of all the travel recently.” Harrys eyes softened a little. “Yeah, she’s always liked her hiding spots huh.” He paused, then added, “I’ve missed her.” His words hung there, suspended in the air between us for a while and for a moment, I wasn’t sure if he was just talking about opal. I nodded at his words, something about the way he said it lingered longer than it should have, i tried to push it aside, maybe I’m just reading too much into his words. Looking down at opal again i sighed, “i’ll uh, see you later.” I mumbled, now just wanting to get out and as far away from this awkward situation as possible. I turned to walk away before he could say anything, i felt his eyes on me as i made my way towards the lobby door. His gaze was sticking with me more than i wanted it to.

As i exited the building, i felt my footsteps heavy on the ground again. I took a deep breath, taking in the fresh air and trying to clear my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the what-ifs. How i wish i could be done with all this. I couldn’t afford to keep dwelling on our past, especially not with everything going on. At least through all this change i still had my job, and im fortunate enough to really love my job. My job has always been my escape, allowing be to take a break from my real life and everything i had going on. I could create stories outside my own, i could be in control, or at the very least, i could pretend to be. But in moments like this, i was just me - and I couldn’t pretend to be anyone else. I had no script or direction, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

The months after the breakup have been such a blur, it’s like I’ve been moving on autopilot. Filming, press events, and trying to keep it together in front of the cameras. I was good at that. I’ve played so many different roles, performed rehearsed lines perfectly, but none of that could’ve prepared me for the messy reality of seeing him. Missing him.

[saltylemontears]

freely || dr3

summary: you think daniel's the most beautiful when he's happy warnings: none a/n: this work is insanely short and i wrote this in 20 minutes, but i saw the video and my brain decided to think about a road trip with danny

you sit behind the steering wheel and adjust your seat for you to be comfortable for the next few hours. you put on your sunglasses, the warm american summer making its way into the car.

you've always liked road trips - getting to stare out the window and explore places you usually wouldn't even glance at normally. so, when you met daniel, who was just as passionate about exploring, you knew you've found the one.

well, speaking of daniel, he sits next to you, cozying up in the passenger seat after driving for the previous three hours. the late afternoon summer shines on his face, lighting up his features behind his own sunglasses.

you start the car. it's a bit bigger than you're used to, but it's not too bad, and you actually quiite like it. especially the radio, which can connect to your phone.

he rolls the window down, filling the car with fresh air. the wind brushes through his curls and he's smiling so hard. you return the smile, caressing his thigh.

you know how hard the past weeks have been for him, resulting in heartwrenching nights and sad mornings. so, you decided to plan a long trip around the us - because seeing him smile after all that is truly worth it.

as you focus on the dusty road, daniel shifts in the other seat, fiddling with the radio buttons.

he likes music, you know that, and so do you, so him turning on the radio isn't a surprise. he skips through the songs, trying to find one he likes, and when he does, he turns the volume up. he leans out of the window, yelling out the lyrics passionately.

you unconsciously join him, humming the melody at first, before turning to full-on belting, voice disappearing in the wind.

the playlist only gets better and it gets harder to focus on the road, singing that old miley cyrus song with the strangest accent. daniel turns to you with a camera, capturing a scene of you singing behind the steering wheel, the sun setting behind you.

when a song you both really like plays, you lock eyes and sing together, pefectly in sync. perfectly free.

you stop at a gas station to switch and to buy a red bull. you sit back in the passenger seat. danny is much more of a natural at driving, of course.

the sun sets, illuminating your faces red, and he looks over at you, caressing your hand with his own. and when you look back at him, you know he's finally happy. you know he can spread his wings freely. and you'll be here every time.

[beeing1alive]

Cute headcanons with Tokyo Revengers boys Pt.3

f.t.: Mikey (Manjirō Sanō); Draken (Ken Ryūgūji); Mitsuya (Takashi Mitsuya); Chifuyu (Chifuyu Matsuno); Baji (Keisuke Baji); Takemichi (Takemichi Hanagaki); Angry (Souya Kawata), Smiley (Nahoya Kawata); Hakkai (Hakkai Shiba); Kazutora (Kazutora Hanemija)

Mikey's hands are always warm. No matter how warm or cold it is outside, his hands are always the same pleasant temperature. In winter you can always warm your hands on his. However, his hands are also warm in summer, which means that in summer you can just intertwine your little fingers.

Darken usually has to leave the house very early, which means he never really has time to talk to you in the morning. That's why he always sticks a note on the mirror in your bathroom. Every day it says something different, but usually something like: "Have a great day, be safe, I love you -Ken"

Mitsuya organises a photo shoot for the two of you every few months. One of these couple photo shoots, and it's always super fun, especially because he already knows all the photographers. The pictures that come out are always so cute, and he prints out the best of them and puts it in his wallet.

Chifuyu insists on showing and introducing you to every animal in the pet shop. After closing time, he walks through the shop with you hand in hand and enthusiastically shows you all the animals. After a few months, you know every animal by name and its characteristics. He just loves animals, but he loves you more, he just can't help it.

Baji has got it into his head that he wants to learn how to cook. That's why he suggested that you cook something together at least once a week. He would like to pursue this habit but sometimes he just can't make it, but at least one evening is always reserved (if he can't make it, he feels bad and brings you something from out of town)

Takemichi regularly puzzles with you. He just finds it super relaxing, he already enjoys doing puzzles on his own, but it's a thousand times better with you. You usually watch a film or listen to your favourite music on the side. He could spend hours doing it. Just not having to think about anything, with you close to him.

Angry has a playlist with you, which is full of your favourite songs. He always pays attention to what music you listen to and when he sees how much you enjoy a song, he will immediately add it to this playlist. When you listen to music together, he always puts this playlist on and seeing you enjoy every song makes his heart melt.

Smiley introduced you to his brother first. He just cares what Souya thinks of you because he knows that his brother has a much better sense for healthy relationships. His heart skips a beat when he sees Souya talking to you enthusiastically, his face relaxes a little and he nods to him, and even if Souya didn't like you, he would have loved you.

Hakkai always left one thing in your house when he was with you at the beginning of the meeting phase. Whether it was a hoodie or a packet of chewing gum, just to make sure you'd see each other again. He always made it look like it was accidental, but it never was. He just always wanted to see you again sometime.

Kazutora writes you poems. When he goes to class for you, he usually gets so bored that he starts scribbling sweet words for you on a random piece of paper. Sometimes his texts stretch over several sheets of paper, it's just so easy for him to write how he feels about you. Much easier than telling you, he prefers to show it.

Note: I hope you like it and my requests are open. If you want to read the other parts, here is P.t.1 and here is P.t.2 :3

Attention: The characters and the gif do not belong to me. All credits go to the actual owners. If you want anything to be changed or removed, please write to me.

[velvrei]

not so nonchalant (part 2)

pairing : hansumfella x famous! reader

summary : they finally go on their date!!

warnings: tooth rotting fluff

go read part 1 here

that night, tyler could barely sleep. call him stupid, but mans was freaking out for this date. two days ago, you were just his celebrity crush, and now he had the honor of taking you out on a date? he did not want to mess this up.

the next morning, tyler found himself up at 10am, somehow, trying to figure out what to wear. the date wasn’t for another 6+ hours, and he was still stressing about it early.

as time flew by, seemingly very slow for tyler, it was finally time for the date. fella checked himself in the mirror, he was wearing a sage green button up and tan dress pants. he figured it looked decently nice and after doing his research he found out that sage green was your favorite color. so he wore it.

tyler put on his shoes and finally made his way over to your place, blasting music on his way, trying to pump the nerves out of his bones.

he turned down the music as he pulled down your street, following the gps link you sent him, and finally arriving at your house. he grabbed his phone and got out to the car, walking up to your door, and knocking.

a few seconds later the door swung open, and his mouth fell slightly open at the sight of you. this was his first time meeting you, and not only did you look gorgeous, you were in a dress that was the same shade as his shirt. you guys were unintentionally matching, which made his heart melt.

you giggled when you noticed the matching clothes, stepping out with your purse in your hand and shutting the door behind you.

“hi tyler, it’s nice to finally meet you,” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing him in for a hug.

tyler, who was still at a loss for words, tried to focus and catch his breath. “i- yeah- oh my god-“ was all he could spit out, making you laugh as you pulled away from the hug.

he shook his head, trying to compose himself, “you look stunning, it’s nice meeting you, too.”

you both smiled, and you got into the passenger seat of his car, messing with the radio as fella drove out of your driveway. you played your playlist, fully believing in the “passenger gets aux” rule.

he couldn’t help but smile as he watched you scroll through your playlist, trying to find the right song that matched the mood.

the restaurant you both picked out was not too far from your house, so only a few songs had time to be played.

when you finally arrived at the restaurant, you grabbed your phone and you both walked inside, smiling as fella quickly walked fast and opened the door for you.

“thank you, tyler.” your voice was low and smooth and it made his heart melt as you said his name.

he smiled behind you and you both walked in, getting yourself a booth and sitting on opposite sides of each other, as people on dates do.

tyler put his phone far from him, clearly not intending to get on it anytime soon.

“so,” he cleared his throat, making you giggle at how nervous he was.

“tyler, you have no need to be nervous. regardless of how this date goes i already have a strong feeling i like the dynamic we have. even over text you matched my energy. don’t be nervous, just be yourself, cause i love your personality. okay?”

tyler felt his heart skip a beat at your words. you were able to see right through him and see how nervous he really was.

he nodded his head smiling, “you’re right. have you ever been to this restaurant before?”

you smiled, “yes i have, quite a few times actually, have you?”

the two of you continued to chat and ask each other questions, then you ordered your drinks and food. the more you guys talked, the less awkward it got.

there were various times that you caught fella gazing at you as you ordered, little did you know he was just admiring your beauty, and how the fact you were actually real, and not just something he was stalking on instagram.

as the bill came, tyler quickly put his card out, not even giving you the chance to think about paying, making you laugh at how serious he was about paying for you.

“you really didn’t have to do that,” you say, smiling at him.

“yes i did. i know how this works,” he says, his voice half joking making you both laugh. “i’m just kidding, love, its my pleasure. to have the honor of taking my celebrity crush out on a date, AND paying for her meal?”

you laughed at how dorky he sounded, watching his face as he talked, slowly realizing how cute he really was.

you smiled, wanting to fluster him a bit, so you didn’t wait for him to finish his words, you just interrupted him with- “you’re really cute, you know that?”

your eyes basically daggered into his and his breath hitched. “i- thank you,” he didn’t know how to respond to the random compliment, but he felt his body go warm at your comment.

“you- you’re very beautiful as well,” his flustered nature was not something he was used to, on the internet he pretended to be this carefree guy that was always nonchalant.

apparently he was not as nonchalant when it came to you.

“we should take a picture or video or something, to post and make the fans go crazy,” you say, giggling as he nods his head.

the two of you decide on making a tiktok on fella’s account, then getting pictures for your instagram. the tiktok you both decide to make is one stupid one, with the sound magic johnson, just sitting across from each other and lip syncing the lyrics.

usually, this moment would feel awkward. but it didn’t with him, and it didn’t with you. you guys felt completely normal around each other, and it was amazing.

he posted the tiktok and you posted your instagram story, a cute picture of him smiling on your story, then posting the tiktok to your story as well. you both giggled as you watched the comments and messages roll in.

the two of you decided to call it a night, and somehow you ended back on your doorstep, tyler walking you up to the door.

“i had a lot of fun with you tonight, y/n.” his words and his deep sleepy voice made you smile, turning around as you both stood on the porch.

“i had a lot of fun with you tonight as well, tyler. thank you for shooting your shot, i guess, if you never said what you did in that clip i probably would’ve been to scared to reach out to you. you’re an incredible guy, and i would love to go on another date with you, if you’ll have me.”

your words made him want to jump up and down, but he stopped himself and took a breath. you watched his internal decision to calm himself and held in a giggle.

“i would be honored to go on another date with you. i had so much fun tonight. you seriously look beautiful..”

you smiled. “i know, i noticed those times you were staring at me as i was ordering.”

his eyes widened and you laughed at his reaction to being called out.

“don’t stress about it tyler. i liked it. it was cute. you’re cute. i hope you have a good rest of your night.” you say.

you gently place a kiss to his cheek, leaving a red-lipstick stain, and his mouth fell slightly open. you walked inside with out another word, leaving tyler there, in his thoughts, completely stunned about what just happened, and trying to hide his burning pink face.

hope you enjoyed the 2nd part :) i won’t be writing anymore for this series but feel free to request for hansumfella as much as you want!!

taglist; @gallovzzii @minnielvr @val4him @its-jennarose

hope everyone loved it as much as i did writing it :)) keep the requests coming!!

[lemoncrushh]

Running on Empty

Summary: An unfortunate incident at the gym

Warnings: None, just a PSA - Never workout on an empty stomach.

Word Count: 1185

A/N: Harry x reader AU. Originally an OC but has been edited. From my 2017 collection.

Harry was a new guy at your gym. You hadn't been going as regularly as you should have, but once he started coming a few weeks ago, you made it a point to keep up with your workouts. He was gorgeous, to say the least. Not your typical buff, gym type guy. But really attractive with a killer smile.

So far your exchange had merely been a few hellos and nods of the head. But you were determined to get his attention. You can assure yourself however, what ended up happening was not your intent.

You'd skipped lunch that day, having only a bagel for breakfast and a handful of jellybeans that you'd grabbed from your co-worker's desk when your boss had asked if you could stay to help set up the conference room for an important meeting. You could have (and should have) easily gotten a sandwich at the deli before heading to the gym, but you only had an hour, and you knew Harry would most likely already be there. It was pathetic how you'd memorized his schedule, this man that you barely knew.

He was already at the weight bench when you left the locker room. Walking past him, you could see the beads of sweat forming on his upper lip and arms, his t-shirt nearly soaked through. He groaned low as he lifted the bar, his muscles flexing. Sighing deeply, but low enough you hoped that he didn't hear you, you took your usual place at the treadmill, popping your earbuds in and setting your water bottle in its cubby. Choosing one of your workout playlists, you began warming up at a steady walking pace. As the songs progressed into faster tempos, so did your walking and soon you was at a jogging pace, your heart rate up.

Lost in your music, you didn't notice Harry had gotten up from the bench until he was beside you, wiping his face with a towel, your eyes connecting.

"Hello," he grinned. Good grief, he had a great smile.

"Hi."

You watched as he took a stance on the treadmill next to yours. He said something else then that you couldn't quite make out with your music blaring, so you pulled out an earbud.

"Sorry?"

"I said, I've seen you here before a few times."

"Oh. Yeah." You didn't know what else to say. You'd rehearsed several scenarios in your head, but at the moment you were breathing too hard to make actual conversation.

"I'm Harry," he said.

"Y/N," you replied, though you was sure it sounded more like a breathy mess.

"Good to meet you," he smiled again, making your heart race more than it already was.

Grabbing your water bottle, you took a long drink, emptying almost half of it. The next song that came on was clocked at an even faster bpm, so you sped up the speed of the treadmill. Now at a running pace, you felt the sweat drip down the back of your neck and between your breasts. Your breaths were hard but steady as you made sure you could handle it. There had been days when running was a breeze, and you'd feel exhilarated from pushing yourself to the limit. But because you hadn't been keeping up with your usual routine, and probably because you hadn't eaten, you could already feel your body resisting. You felt like your heart was beating out of your chest. You slowed the speed just slightly as you felt yourself getting light-headed.

"Hey, you okay?" you heard to your left.

You turned your head to Harry to looked concerned. Unable to speak, you nodded.

"You might wanna slow down," he gestured to the treadmill console.

You nodded again and did as he suggested. When you found a slower, jogging pace, you started to feel a little better, your breathing even once again. You held on to the bar this time, something you didn't normally do in order to regain the feeling in your legs which had seemed to go numb. You weren't sure how you'd even managed to run at all. It was as though you had phantom limbs that moved at their own will.

Finally, your playlist came full circle, a U2 song finishing out what you knew was the end of your workout. You walked for the remaining time, guzzling the last of your water.

Stepping off the treadmill, you immediately felt woozy. Blinking hard, careful not to get sweat in your eyes, you reached for your towel and wiped them. That was when two things seemed to happen both simultaneously and in slow motion. You saw Harry step off his treadmill and walk towards you, and everything went black.

"Y/N!"

You could hear a voice calling your name, and it sounded familiar but far away. You were probably dreaming.

"Y/N!" he called again.

Ouch, you thought. That light was too bright.

"C'mon, love, open your eyes."

His honey-like voice soothed you and you blinked, allowing the irritating light to shine in your eyes. That was when you saw his face, hovering over you like a guardian angel. His chest fell as he let out a sigh of relief.

"She's coming to," he relayed to someone behind him.

"Um..." you swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry. "What happened?"

"You fainted, straight into my arms."

You groaned, lifting your hand to your head which you realized was throbbing.

"You know," he added with a smirk, "if you wanted my attention, you didn't have to go to such extremes."

"Oh God," you mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I just wanna make sure you're okay."

You stared at him for a moment before someone else appeared above your head and knelt down beside you.

"Miss, do you need a doctor?" the second man asked.

"No," you replied. "I think I just passed out. I'll be fine."

"Can you sit up?"

You realized then that Harry still had his arms around you. You nodded and allowed him to help you sit as you felt the blood rush to your head.

"Oh," you groaned again.

The other man handed you a bottle of what looked to be a sports drink. You took it from him and drank a large gulp, feeling it immediately run through your veins.

"You sure you don't need a doctor or an ambulance?"

You looked at him and shook your head. "No. It's fine."

The man nodded and patted your back. "Sit for as long as you need." Then he turned to Harry. "Don't let her make any sudden moves until she's ready."

"Yes, sir."

When the man walked away, Harry took your hand.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Not really, but I will be."

"Did you eat anything today?"

You let out a breath. "Very little."

"Are you diabetic?"

"No. Just overworked I suppose."

Harry shut his eyes and shook his head. "When you're ready, I'll help you stand," he offered. "Then I'm taking you to lunch."

You smiled gently. "You are?"

"Well...it wasn't how I was planning to ask you out. But it'll do."

If you enjoyed, please like, comment, reblog or send me a msg!

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[streamafterlaughter]

Soundtrack to Disaster

Chapter III: I Carry You Around

masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev

song(s) for this chapter: roam the room by citizen, drunk ii by mannequin pussy

a/n: i forgot how hard it was to get a new story going, but we’re movin!! please enjoy this lil chapter while i work on the new one :p also! thank you guys for 200 followers that’s kinda crazy for me on this site. 🥳🎉❤️

summary: you need some help recalling the events of last night

chapter tags: drinking/drug (weed) use, description of throwing up (reader), swearing, reader has a lot of nicknames (to avoid using y/n), slight angst, big game of telephone. | fic tags: Angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | This fic is rated 18+ MDNI

disclaimer: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, this is the only account that features and contains this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere. Reblog to support the author!

tag list: reply/message to be added! @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj

-

“Hey,” Robin pokes you, still snoring constantly next to her on the air mattress. “Hey, wake up! I’m starving!” she shakes you lightly, and you groan. “C’mon, Benny’s is never packed this late. I’m buyin’.” Your eyes flutter open at the mention of her treating you.

“Okay, okay. I’m awake.”

“Oh, good. I was beginning to think the last vodka sprite killed you.”

“It probably should’ve.” You squint, attempting not to let too much light in before you know the status of your hangover. You blink a few times, focusing solely on not sitting up too quickly. “Alright, I think we’re in the clear. Bacon sounds so good right now.”

“Is she up?” Steve calls from the kitchen, over the clatter of bottles being thrown into the recycling bin.

“Yeah, I’ve tempted her with free food.” Robin giggles, following your lead of slowly exiting the blow up bed. “Will the Insufferable Bard be joining us on the breakfast quest?” You regret the words after they leave your lips.

“Is the evil queen asking little ole me to tag along?” Eddie practically skips into the living room, way too chipper for your hungover brain to handle. Steve has the balls to snicker. “I’d be absolutely delighted to accompany you to dine for breakfast, Highness.” He curtsies for emphasis.

“Never mind, actually. I just remembered I’m needed somewhere that, um, not here.”

Eddie tsks at you. “Ah, no take backs. Shall I get your coat?”

-

Fluffy diner pancakes and greasy bacon can and do save you. You moan as you shove a bite full of syrup and pancake into your mouth, met with similar responses as your friends devour their food. You can feel Eddie staring at you from across the booth.

“So, did I sleep through all of the cleaning?” You ask after swallowing. “I promise that wasn’t the intention.”

Steve shakes his head, sipping his coffee. “Actually, you did most of it last night. You don’t remember?”

You squint, as if trying to see the blurry memories in front of you. You remember playing beer pong, and then losing beer pong. You remember bits and pieces of conversations with Robin and Steve. You remember Chrissy running out of Steve’s bedroom. Then nothing. “Huh. Guess not.” Usually you only black out when you’re angry, but you can’t remember anything viscerally upsetting happening to you. Not consciously.

Steve shrugs. “Weird. Nah, we let you sleep. It was hard enough getting you into bed.”

You feel your cheeks burn. “Sorry, Steve. Guess I can’t hold my liquor.”

“Nah, I didn’t do anything. Eddie pretty much took care of you.”

Your blood freezes in your veins, draining quickly from your face. “What?”

Steve places his mug down, and Robin throws her arms in the air in defeat and disappointment. “What? What did I say?”

“Seriously, dingus?”

Eddie’s gone silent, silverware long abandoned on his plate. “You promised you weren’t gonna bring that up.” The words are muffled behind his hand.

“I did?”

Robin slaps her palm to her forehead.

“What the hell is going on?” You look from Steve to a red cheeked Eddie.

He sighs. “Sorry, princess. Guess your knight in shining armor’s an ogre.”

You’re gaping. Not a single part of this makes sense to you. You and Eddie haven’t been that close in years. “Aren’t you already Chrissy’s ogre though?”

Eddie’s eyes narrow, irritated as he shoves a bite of toast into his mouth. “That’s none of your business.”

You raise your hands in surrender. “Okay, shit. Didn’t know you were so sensitive about it.”

“I think I’m lost here.” Steve interrupts, leaning over Robin to reach for the syrup.

“Can we move on, please? I don’t feel like talking about this.”

The response is an awkward silence.

“Thank you.” Eddie says, mouth full of bread. You surrender, for now. You make it a point in your head to find out more. It’s only fair, you reason, I was there too.

—

“Chris, you home?” You call your brother as you enter your apartment. Guitars are blaring from the back of your house, loud enough that he wouldn’t be able to hear you. You wander down the hall, checking the empty bathroom and kitchen on your way. “Chris?”

“Hey, Bug!” Chris calls from the spare-bedroom-turned-studio, turning his stereo down. “C’mere a sec, need your opinion on something.” You follow the sound of his voice into the room, taking in the sight in front of you. Chris has sprawled himself out on the floor, a skateboard deck dismantled in front of him. “Can I ask you something?” You lean against the doorframe, observing your brother.

“You just did.”

You scoff. “Can you remember anything from last night?”

Your question stops his movement. “Uh, maybe. Which part?”

“It’s spotty after midnight. What happened to me?”

Chris turns to face you, and you move to sit in the office chair across from him. “Well. You still can’t handle your liquor.”

“Oh, c’mon. I had, like, three drinks.”

“Yeah, and you got your ass beat in beer pong. I know you hate it, but beer still has alcohol in it.”

“Oh, shut up. Tell me what happened!”

“Okay, but you can’t get mad.”

“I will not be making any promises.”

-

Last night (as told by Chris)

You stumble into the kitchen, on your way for yet another refill, but you’re stopped short by the solid torso dawned in old leather, reeking of weed. “Man, roadblock.” You Look up to find Eddie looking down at you, eyes curious, joint in hand standing next to your brother, blocking the cooler. “Move aside, dweebs.”

“Hey, Bug. You okay?”

“Hm?” You try to focus on Chris’s face, squinting hard, as if you’re looking directly at the sun. “Yeah, ‘m cool. It’s bright in here.” The lights aren’t even on.

“No, she’s not.” Eddie’s eyes are fully trained on you, concern written plainly on his face. The kid likes to party, but he knows his limits. You, unfortunately, cannot say the same. You rest against the sticky counter, but immediately retract at the sensation, breathing shallowly through your nose. Eddie can see the panic in your eyes when they linger in space for a second too long.

“She’s gonna puke. Move, I got her.” Eddie sprints to your aid, leading you down the hall by the waist, draping your arm over his shoulder, and into the bathroom. “Eddie, ‘m fine.” You slur, completely unconvincing. The bathroom is empty, thankfully. The party’s been over for a while, but you’d slammed quite a few without hesitation tonight, and Eddie thinks, perhaps, he had something to do with it.

“Hey, I got you, c’mere.” Eddie holds your hair back as you crouch in front of the toilet, the only thought going through his head being “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”, while he reaches with his free hand to wet a washcloth. When his back is turned, you let it rip, and he rushes back to your side, placing the cool cloth against your clammy forehead. “Feel better?”

Your face screws tightly in concentration. “Gettin’ there.” You string the words together, like you’re too afraid to open your mouth any wider. “Thanks, Ed.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not like we’re friends.” You flinch after you say it.

“Maybe not, but I know too-drunk-to-stand when I see it. Wasn’t gonna let you try to find your own way here.”

“Or you’re secretly in love with me.” You tease, voice strained.

“Okay, now you’re talkin’ crazy. C’mon sweets, it’s bedtime.” He dodges your comment, eager to get out of there.

“Nooo,” You whine, and Eddie smiles dopily at you. “I’m not tired!”

“Doesn’t matter. You stay out here, you’re destined to give yourself alcohol poisoning. C’mon, we can go set up your bed downstairs.”

“You tryna suggest something, Munson?” You tease, wobbly as he helps you stand up.

“What would I be suggesting?” You shrug. You must not have a clue what you’re saying right now. “Did your brother tell you something?”

“What? No, I’m kidding, Eddie. We don’t like each other, remember?”

“No, you don’t like me.”

Your resolve seems to slip, but only a little. “I have my reasons.”

Eddie nods. “Yeah, I know.” He stands up, and offers his hand out for you. You grab it, using it to pull your weight up from the ground. “Okay, prince charming. Whisk me to bed.”

“As you wish, princess.” He helps you get back downstairs, and into the already prepared air mattress. “Your throne awaits.”

You giggle as he guides you down, staying parallel to your body in case you lose your balance. You make it unscathed though, and he brings the blanket up to your chin. “Here,” He pulls an unopened water bottle from his back pocket. “Lemme get you a bucket or something, I’ll be right back.”

“Wait,” You reach out and grab his hand. He looks at your face, the way your eyes are already half closed like your eyelids weigh a ton. “Can you take them off?”

“Excuse me?” He chokes.

“My boots. They’re hard to take off.” You point to your feet, sticking out of the blanket and clad in heavy leather.

“Oh, yeah. ‘Course.” He clears his throat nervously, busying his hands with the buckles of your shoes. By the time he slides the second one off, your head has hit the pillow, and you’re snoring peacefully.

—

Present day

You feel your stomach drop, much akin to the way it must have felt last night. “That did not happen.”

Chris shrugs, like it’s nothing. “Maybe I got some details wrong. After he got you to bed he was freaking out. I don’t get why you have such an issue with the guy.” He shrugs, turning back to his board.

You furrow your brow at him. “Are you being serious?” He whips his head back to you, confused. “Remember? He got you put in prison?!”

He stares back at you, blank faced. “What are you talking about?”

“He ratted you out, Chris! Testified against you! Snitched! I know I blacked out last night, but c'mon! You were in the room when it happened!”

“Oh, my god.”

“What?!” You’re beside yourself, absolutely at a loss. “Chris, don’t tell me you forgive him for that.”

“Beebs, my beautiful, innocent, cherub of a little sister. You have no idea what you’re talking about right now.” Somewhere in the distance, Chris’s phone is ringing, and your vision goes white.

“What does that even mean?!” Chris ignores you, picking up his cell. “Chris!”

“Yo,” You can’t hear the voice on the other line. “Hey, man. Relax. No, she’s good. Alive, thanks to you probably. Kinda pissed, though.” He looks to where you’re silently seething at your brother. “No, I didn’t say shit! I just filled in some blanks from last night.” You can hear Eddie on the other line, voice frantic, but you can’t make out what he’s saying. “Okay. No, I won’t. But you have to.” Long pause. “Yeah, you do. I thought she knew!” He waits. “I don’t care! She has every right to, actually! I would be pissed, too! Figure it out, dude.” He hangs up and looks back to you. “Eddie has some explaining to do.”

—

[hillbillyoracle]

How to Create Downtime Menus

As a lot of my posts are, this one was inspired by a conversation with my partner. She seemed to think some of my ideas were helpful so I thought I'd write them up and share them here.

I use a combination of these ideas to do two things - redirect myself when I get stuck doomscrolling/freezing/obsessing and redirect myself when I'm stuck on the "must be good, must be productive" hamster wheel and can't seem to stop doing chores until I'm fucking exhausted or have pushed/hurt myself. Knowing you need to stop is one thing - knowing what to do instead is another.

Not all of these will work for every person at every time. Pick one or two that seem interesting and give them a whirl.

Habit of the Month

This is a small habit I can do in about 5-10 minutes a day. These are sometimes habits that I want to audition for my lineup or just want to focus on as a way of rebooting a given area of my life. Physical habits have been things like stretching, a walk, putting on moisturizer, drinking water, making tea, etc. Emotional habits have been things like stream of consciousness journaling, bullet journaling, recording myself venting, etc. Spiritual habits have been things like meditating, altar work, reading sutras, tarot readings, etc.

If I'm stuck in a loop and I haven't done that task yet, it serves as an easy win that feels moderately meaningful to accomplish. This is easier to do than longer or less interesting tasks.

Side Quests

These are little challenges I'd like to accomplish that are 100% fun and completely optional. They are specific and can me completed within a given time frame - usually a month. They usually aren't the most meaningful to keep them more fun and so I'm not letting myself down if I don't opt to complete it.

They've been things like:

The Minor Expert Challenge - read three books in one subject

The Kanopy Critic Challenge - use up all of my Kanopy credits that month

The Regal Freegal Challenge - download all the albums/songs I can on Freegal that month

The Monthly Playlist Challenge - create a playlist of the month where each song represents something about each day of that month; like a playlist diary

The Reverse Tarot Draw Challenge - pick/list a tarot card you best think represents each day of a given month or other time period; like a tarot card diary

The 100 Words Challenge - learn 100 words in a foreign language

As you can see, I prefer things that are pretty low energy friendly so I can work on them on days I'm super tired. Just little chronic illness things.

Alphabet Lists

I use these for my cleaning routines actually but I also have been trying them with my downtime. The way it works is you list out the alphabet and choose one self care or hobby task you'd like to do for each. They don't have to start with the same letter, it just serves as an easy way to limit how many you pick and keep track of what you've done. It's satisfying to cross off the whole list.

Tasks I put on these are things like

A - paint my nails

B - crochet a charity hat

C - write 5 letters for Letters Against Isolation

D - send a letter to a friend

E - play a solo rpg

F - play a solo board game

G - complete a puzzle

etc

They're fun tasks I'm not currently doing as often as I'd like but chill enough that it doesn't matter when precisely I do them more often. I try to pick tasks that are roughly 30 minutes to an hour long though some definitely take longer. I like to complete these roughly monthly but I try to complete a whole list before I start it again. Anything I just did not feel like doing and kept skipping gets scratched out and I rewrite a new list with new item to replace those. And I start again.

Whenever I'm like ugh I don't know what to do with myself, I try to pick at least one thing on the list and give it a try for 5 minutes. If I don't like it after that I can just put it away and pick something else.

10x10

10x10 lists are a different take on a similar idea. It's a list of 10 things you'd like to do at least 10 times in a given time period. Mine tend to be on the seasonal or annual timescale but maybe you're intense and prefer a monthly one. If I don't complete them in a given time period, I just continue with it until I'm done. Better to complete it on an altered timeline than not at all.

For me these tend to be slightly bigger tasks that take a little more planning or energy. I'm not totally sure why I use them this way since you could definitely use them for smaller tasks but that's just the space they occupy for me.

So examples of what would be on my list would be things like:

Grab a hot chocolate from the coffee shop (x10)

Complete a PokemonGo event (x10)

Have a spa night and watch a movie (x10)

Do something extra nice for my partner (x10)

Try a new game (x10)

Find a geocache (x10)

etc

Filing up a little 10x10 grid is pretty satisfying. Much more so than anxietying myself into my bed for the equivalent amount of time.

Seasonal Bucket Lists

I really enjoy making these though I really struggle with the current season (Spring) given my allergies. There's this idea my partner has told me about in DBT where you try to recall positive moments to help "build a life worth living". I think seasonal bucket lists are really good at helping with this for me. I look back on the seasons I made these lists way more fondly than the ones I didn't.

They generally center on seasonal activities I don't want to miss out on. So for summer that's stuff like going for a night swim/skinny dip, getting 5-10 good cloud photos, playing a yard game (like cornhole), seeing a street concert, etc. I also try to take pictures of those (if they don't already involve them) so I can reflect on them later and enjoy the residual happiness.

Conclusion

The point of these isn't to overwhelm you with options. It's just to have enough ideas prepped that you can find something no matter your energy level or time you're working with.

Remember - rest and enjoying yourself is necessary for human health. Folks how get good rest and experience flow states more regularly tend to heal better. People who spend time on what they enjoy are often more enjoyable to be around.

It's never a waste of time to make yourself happy.

[mediocre-shark-tales]

The Debut

Masterlist

The news hit the F1 world like a thunderclap—a 20 year old American driver, a complete unknown, was stepping into the Aston Martin seat mid-season. One of the few rookies to join halfway through the season, she was brought in to cover for Lance Stroll, sidelined potentially indefinitely by a severe injury. Speculation about his replacement had run wild, but no one expected it to be someone with almost no public history, let alone a driver no one had ever seen outside their helmet and racing suit. Yet Aston Martin was now ready to unveil her to the world—a driver who had only been known by her number, 66, and the nickname “Daredevil.”

In the week leading up to her debut, Aston Martin teased fans with cryptic photos and voice-modulated videos. Finally, they dropped a fifteen-minute video titled Welcome to AMRTC Driver 66, capturing her first day with the team. It opened with clips of the team speculating about her skill, personality, and confidence, overlaid with shots of her walking through the building without truly showing more than her shoes. Then, as a black screen lingered, the opening chords of “Real Gone” from Cars filled the silence. The video cut to the mystery driver getting suited up, each layer adding to her mystique, until she finally took to the track in the new car. A montage of high-speed laps displayed her undeniable skill and poise until the song slowly faded, revealing her standing still, helmet off, with curled hair framing her face as she turned toward the camera for the first time. This was quickly followed by a long ‘get to know me’ interview.

From the moment she arrived, the paddock buzzed with whispers. Her face was unfamiliar to the veteran drivers, but rumors hinted at her racing roots from leagues around the world. The fans, media, and even her new teammate waited with bated breath, eager to see if this newcomer could hold her own against the sport’s giants.

Y/n pov

I stepped into the Aston Martin garage with Marcus, my manager, beside me. My headphones were on, the bass of my favorite race weekend hype playlist thumping as I took in the scene. Mechanics and engineers glanced up from their tasks, eyes darting over to me before resuming their work on the cars and equipment, all in preparation for Practice Day 1. I’d skipped the usual media day—Aston Martin had somehow managed to get the FIA’s approval for me to skip it, which suited me just fine.

Marcus guided me through the bustling garage, giving me a quick rundown of everything before leading me to my driver’s room in the Aston Martin hospitality suite. As I took a seat, nerves bubbled up—I still hadn’t met Fernando Alonso. As confident as I felt in the car, the idea of meeting a living legend, someone who’d been racing since before I was even born, was something else entirely.

For as long as I could remember, Fernando Alonso had been my idol. I’d spent years studying his every move on the track, even adopting his aggressive, calculated driving style until I’d eventually developed my own. But knowing that I’d be racing alongside him—that I’d actually get to learn from him first hand—felt surreal, like stepping into a dream I’d chased my entire life.

That all changed the moment I actually met him. As I walked into the garage, fully suited up in my fireproofs with my helmet tucked under my arm, I could feel the weight of the moment settling in. After a quick weigh-in, Marcus led me over to Alonso. For a few awkward seconds, he barely glanced my way, his focus elsewhere until someone pointed me out to him. Around us, everyone was smiling and looking expectant—everyone except him. I swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in my throat. I hadn’t expected him to be thrilled about my arrival, but his distant, unreadable expression stung in a way I hadn’t anticipated.

As I approached, He looked me up and down with the slightest hint of a frown.

"So, they think you're ready to jump into this mid-season?" he asked, crossing his arms. "I wonder if you actually understand what that means."

I blinked, taken aback by his bluntness. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't," I shot back, trying to keep my tone even.

He raised an eyebrow. "A lot of drivers think they’re ready," he replied, his voice cool. "But being ready means more than just showing up with confidence. Winning is a mindset, an instinct. It’s not just something you decide you have one day."

I felt my hands tighten around my helmet. "Maybe it’s not something you decide—but it is something you prove. I’m here to race, not get your approval, and I’ll show you on track that my style is nothing like what you've seen before."

A spark flashed in his eyes, though his expression remained unchanged. "We’ll see if your style is worth anything," he said, a hint of challenge in his voice. "Just remember that here, being good isn’t enough."

Without another word, I turned on my heel and headed toward my car, trying to shake off the sting of his words. As I disappeared around the corner, Fernando watched me go, the faintest smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Once my car was ready, I climbed in, settling into the seat as the engineers moved in to strap me down. Glancing up at the screen, I watched past race footage from this track with this very car. They wanted me to see what I’d be up against—what I needed to match and, ideally, surpass.

A moment later, Marcus crouched down into my line of sight, flanked by two guys—one older and serious, the other younger, with a bit of a wide-eyed look.

“Y/N, this is Ben,” Marcus began, gesturing to the older man. “He’ll be running your radio. But he’s also training Landon here,” he nodded toward the younger guy, “to be your personal radio engineer. Since there’s still a good part of the season left, you’ll need someone who gets you on and off the track. Landon’s been watching your last F2 season, studying up to learn your style. Today’s practice sessions will help you both adjust to your new roles together.”

I nodded and gave them a thumbs up—they wouldn’t hear me over the helmet or the noise of the garage anyway, but my excitement was clear.

It was finally time. My doorman stepped out, giving me the signal that I was clear to go. I eased the car forward, carefully navigating my way onto the main pit road. Aston Martin’s garage was positioned right at the front of the entrance, but it also meant the longest stretch before merging onto the track. As I rolled past each team’s garage, I felt eyes following my every move, curious and assessing. They’d all heard the buzz about the new “mystery driver,” and now here I was.

Once I hit the open track, becoming the first car out on the tarmac, my radio crackled to life with Landon’s voice. “Okay, Y/N, this session is all about finding your sweet spot with the car. If anything feels even slightly off, let me know immediately. For now, just get comfortable with the track. We’ll start gathering real data in the next session.”

I pressed the radio button and replied with a quick, “Yes, sir,” a grin hidden behind my helmet as I pushed down on the accelerator, ready to make my mark.

I took a deep breath, the roar of the engine and the blur of the pit wall filling my senses as I pushed down on the accelerator. The Italian GP track spread out before me in a symphony of curves and straightaways, each turn already embedded in my mind. I’d studied this circuit obsessively—every corner, every curb, every shift in gradient. But now, with the Aston Martin beneath me, I could finally feel it for myself, each bump and nuance translating through the car with perfect clarity.

As I took on the first few turns, my instincts kicked in—a mix of smooth control and split-second aggression. Where other drivers might ease off in preparation for a hairpin, I’d mastered the art of late braking, letting the car edge just to the point of losing grip before snapping it back with a calculated shift in weight. I slid through the Variante del Rettifilo, cutting a sharp angle through the chicane, my hands steady as I kept my foot down. Each move, each turn was a test, not just for me, but for the entire team watching my data back in the garage.

The name Franco Colapinto kept flashing in my mind. I knew he’d have an impressive debut mid-season, and I could feel a competitive drive swelling within me as I attacked the track, eager to match and even exceed his potential mark. Exiting the second Lesmo, I made a mental note of how much grip the car could hold, the feeling just right as I powered down the straight toward Ascari. I couldn’t afford a single misstep. If I was going to prove myself, this was my moment to do it—full control at breakneck speed.

“Looking good, Y/N,” Landon’s voice crackled through the radio, but I was already focused on the final corner. The Parabolica curved ahead, inviting me to test my limits, and I didn’t hesitate. I took it wide before tightening on the exit, feeling the car grip to the line as I pushed the throttle to the max, the car launching down the home straight. 

“Love you, Landon, but please don’t speak before I’m accelerating out of the corner,” I said quickly over the radio, just as I straightened out and hit the next curve.

There was a pause before his voice crackled back, a bit sheepishly. “Yes, ma’am. My apologies.”

I chuckled, the corners of my mouth lifting behind my helmet. “No worries, I’ll have you perfected in no time.”

With that, I settled back into my rhythm, feeling the weight of the car and every detail of the track imprinting itself in my mind. Soon enough, the first practice session came to an end, and I guided the car back to the pits. As I parked and the engineers moved in, I took a moment to pull off my helmet, still buzzing from the thrill of my first laps. This track, this team, and this car were quickly becoming home.

Time Skip -

Race day had arrived, bringing the tension and thrill of my F1 debut, but the sting of yesterday’s qualifying disaster still lingered. I’d ended up in P18, an unfortunate consequence of a poorly timed red flag that left the five of us at the back with no real shot at setting a solid lap time. I tried to brush it off as I prepared to join the rest of the grid for the drivers' parade.

Dressed in team gear, I wore one extra item that had become a part of my ritual. A few months ago, I lost my mother to cancer, and since then, I’d made sure to honor her at every race. Something on me, whether it was my gear or my helmet, would always bear a symbol of her favorite animal: the sea turtle. She had chosen it after learning the turtle’s symbolism of wisdom, endurance, and trusting one’s path, all qualities that described her so well. On each of my helmets, a small sea turtle was etched into the design. And when I wasn’t wearing the helmet, I kept a sea turtle necklace with me, its pendant filled with a touch of her ashes, as if she were here with me, watching over this pivotal moment.

I slipped on my headphones, tuning into my “reminiscing” playlist, letting myself reflect in the few quiet moments before the chaos. “How Do I Say Goodbye” by Dean Lewis filled my ears, a song that resonated now more than ever. My F2 team had given me the remainder of the season off after my mother’s passing, telling the media I was undergoing intense training for my reserve role. Nobody outside my close circle knew the truth, and it felt like a private thread of grief I carried alone, my mother’s memory grounding me as I faced the reality of my first F1 race without her.

I followed the line of drivers, hanging back, unnoticed by most. No one had approached me—not to chat, nor to dismiss me. They’d fallen naturally into their cliques, small pockets of friendships built over countless races together. The trailer pulled up, and I was the last to step aboard, taking a quiet corner near the back. My gaze drifted over the crowd as I toyed with the sea turtle pendant around my neck, a small comfort. If there was ever a moment I needed my mom, it was now. I imagined her smiling at my awkwardness, maybe even scolding the guys to show a bit of gentlemanly grace. Her humor and warmth were all I had left to keep close in this overwhelming moment.

Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts. I pulled off my headphones and turned to see a smiling Franco Colapinto standing there, his easy grin contagious. My smile mirrored his as I placed my headphones around my neck, grateful for the distraction.

“Hola! I’ve been waiting to get a chance to talk to you,” he said, his tone smooth and friendly.

“Hey! I didn’t think anyone would come over,” I replied, surprised but pleased. “It’s nice to finally meet you. How are you feeling about today?”

“Excited and a little nervous, to be honest. It’s not every day you get to race in Formula 1, right? I’m sure you feel the same way.”

I nodded, feeling a wave of camaraderie. “Definitely. It’s been a whirlwind, but I’m ready to show what I can do out there.”

Franco's eyes sparkled with encouragement. “You’ve got this! I saw your lap times from practice; you really have a gift. Just stay focused and trust your instincts. We’re in this together after all.”

“Thanks! That means a lot, especially coming from you. I know you’ve been making waves already too,” I said, my confidence growing.

“Just trying to keep up!” he laughed, his energy infectious. “How about we make a pact? Let’s push each other out there and see how far we can go. We might even surprise some people!”

“Deal!” I grinned, feeling the excitement of a budding friendship. “I’d love to have someone to share this experience with. After all, it’s always more fun with friends.”

Franco nodded enthusiastically. “Exactly! Let’s catch up after the race too—maybe grab a bite? I think we could both use a little downtime after all this craziness.” He blushed slightly, the nerves from the question filling him. 

“Sounds perfect,” I replied, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. As we exchanged a few more words, the nervous weight on my shoulders lifted, replaced by the warmth of a new friendship that made this moment feel just a little less daunting.

Time flew by, and before I knew it, we were dropped back at the paddock. With no distractions, I headed straight for my garage, ready to change and get my head in the game. As I pulled on each piece of my race gear, my heart thudded louder, like it was syncing up with the pulse of the race track. I pressed play on my go-to race day anthem, letting "Real Gone" by Sheryl Crow blast through my headphones on repeat. If this song didn’t put me in the zone, nothing would—it was basically my theme song at this point.

Finally dressed, I took out my helmet. Today, I’d be wearing something special. Up until now, I’d been using my usual helmet, but today was different. This one was for my mom. The design was everything she’d loved: a watercolor sea turtle on each side, painted in her honor. And the top? Like Max’s iconic lion, but this time, it was the face of a sea turtle, wise and serene, watching over me. I could almost hear her laugh as I ran my fingers over the shell details. This one’s for you, Mom.

Leaving the driver’s room, I headed towards the garage, spotting Fernando getting weighed, his usual intense focus evident even with all the last-minute prep happening around us. I gave him a nod, but he was too busy to notice. The team was buzzing, everyone moving with that pre-race electricity.

Before long, I was strapped into the car, staring down the rows of vehicles lined up before me. Silence filled my helmet as I mentally ran through my race strategy. My goal was clear: make it into the points. It wasn’t just about my debut anymore; it was about proving that I belonged here. I’d shut up the critics, the doubters, the ones who said I didn’t have what it took. One pass at a time, I’d show them exactly why I was here.

With just minutes left before the race began, the team pulled the last of the covers from my car and gave it one final check before stepping back off the track. A calm washed over me, the nerves melting into pure focus. It was time.

As the lights went out for the formation lap, I pressed the pedal, feeling the power beneath me roar to life. One by one, the cars in front began moving, and I eased into line, the vibrations of the track buzzing through my hands and up my arms. As I made my way around the circuit, I took in the crowds, fans pressed up against the barricades, flags waving, people cheering, everyone vying for a glimpse of the action before the real race even began. Some held banners and signs with drivers’ names, a few even with my number and the sea turtle logo—my symbol.

I could feel the weight of all those eyes, every fan, every camera trained on the car, and I let it sink in. This was it. For a split second, my mind flashed back to all the hard work, the sleepless nights, and every lap it took to reach this moment. I had something to prove to the fans, to the team, to everyone who’d doubted me. But right now, the only thing on my mind was to trust my path—just like the sea turtle my mom had loved so much.

As the formation lap came to an end, the tension in the air shifted into something electric. The cars lined up on the grid, engines rumbling in anticipation, and I felt a surge of adrenaline course through me. The lights began to sequence, and I focused on the start, visualizing my strategy for the race. This was my moment, and I was ready.

The lights went out, and with a roar, I launched off the line. The initial surge was exhilarating; I was quick on the throttle, feeling the car respond to my commands as I made my way into Turn 1. I immediately positioned myself on the inside line, expertly avoiding the chaos of the cars jostling for position. I could hear the crackle of the radio as Landon encouraged me, reminding me to stay calm and focused.

By the time I reached the first series of corners, I was already gaining ground. I overtook a struggling driver on the outside, timing my move perfectly as I accelerated past him, narrowly avoiding a collision. The thrill of passing my first competitor sent a rush of confidence through me. I could see Franco up ahead, holding steady in P15, and I set my sights on catching him.

As I maneuvered through the tighter sections of the track, I began to find my rhythm. I was in the zone, my mind clear, my instincts sharp. Every corner felt like an opportunity, and I seized each one with determination. The roar of the crowd grew louder with every pass I made, and I could feel the energy fueling my drive.

By the end of the first five laps, I had already climbed up to P15. The rush of adrenaline pushed me further as I entered the sixth lap, where I saw two cars ahead battling for position. I took advantage of their fight, threading my car between them at just the right moment. It felt like a dance, fluid and precise. I could hear Landon’s voice in my ear, excitement evident as I made my way to P12.

With each lap, I continued to push, my confidence growing as I settled into the flow of the race. I navigated through the midfield, expertly carving my way around each driver that stood in my path. Before I knew it, I was in P10, and the battle for the final point was heating up. I had Franco in my sights, and he was locked in a fierce duel with a driver ahead. I took a deep breath, my focus zeroing in on the track ahead.

As we approached the DRS zone, I positioned myself perfectly behind Franco, ready to capitalize on the situation. The moment the DRS activated, I unleashed the power of my car, speeding past him as I made my way into P9. A rush of exhilaration flooded over me—I was in the points! I could hardly believe it. The realization that I had come from P18 to P9 within 2/3s of the race filled me with a sense of accomplishment and the determination to keep pushing forward. With my mother’s spirit guiding me, I 2ould fight for better positions. 

The final laps flew by in a blur, each corner, each straight a chance to cement my place in this race. I held P9 fiercely, defending against anyone who dared to challenge me, pushing the car to its limits while staying calm under pressure. As I crossed the finish line, a wave of relief and triumph washed over me, the weight of the entire race lifting in an instant. My radio crackled with life, and suddenly the cheers of the team filled my helmet, their voices a symphony of celebration.

“P9! Absolutely incredible, y/n!” Landon’s voice shouted, brimming with pride. “You did it, you’re in the points on your debut!”

I could hear Marcus chiming in, his excitement nearly drowning out the others, “You’ve made history today. Unbelievable drive—everyone here is beyond proud!”

A smile broke across my face as I took a moment to let it all sink in. The crowd’s cheers blended with the voices in my ear, my heart racing with pure exhilaration. I lifted a hand in a quiet tribute to my mom, feeling her presence there on the track. This was just the beginning—I’d proven I belonged here. 

Pulling into parc fermé, I powered down the car, feeling the silence wrap around me as the engine’s roar faded. Just as I started climbing out, I heard someone shout my name over the buzz of the paddock. I turned and saw Franco charging toward me, a huge grin plastered on his face. Before I could react, he reached me, practically tackling me in a bear hug as he lifted me off my feet and spun me around.

“You raced beautifully, hermosa!” he yelled, his excitement infectious. I couldn’t help but laugh, caught up in his energy as he set me back down.

“And you! That defense was insane—I thought I’d never get around you!” I replied, still catching my breath. We grinned at each other, peeling off our helmets and balaclavas, both flushed and exhilarated.

“Seriously,” he said, eyes bright, “for a debut race? You were unstoppable. I knew you’d make waves, but that was something else.”

“Thanks, Franco,” I said, feeling the pride and relief mix with a new rush of excitement. “And I know that won’t be the last time I’m chasing you down.”

“Can’t wait for it,” he replied with a laugh. We shared a nod, silently acknowledging the start of something bigger between us. 

As we pulled away, someone called out for us. I turned, and to my surprise, racing legend Lewis Hamilton was walking over, looking exhausted but with a warm, genuine smile. "That was spectacular from both of you," he said, nodding at Franco and me. "I can’t wait to watch the highlights later. You both defended and overtook with skill today—I’m excited to see how you both keep improving."

Franco and I exchanged a quick look of shared amazement and thanked him, both of us a bit starstruck. Just then, Alex appeared, pulling Franco aside, leaving me with Lewis.

“So, y/n,” he began, his tone more serious now, “I actually wanted to have a word with you. I didn’t want to overwhelm you earlier, so I thought now might be the best time—when your spirits are high and you’ve got a bit of space to breathe.” I nodded, curious, as he continued.

“I know it can be tough to find real allies here,” he said gently. “Especially as someone who stands out in a sport that doesn’t have many like you.” His words hit home; I’d felt the isolation creeping in, even with the excitement of today’s race. “I went through a similar thing when I started. I want you to know, if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to, I’m here. Whether it’s for advice, venting, or just someone who gets it—don’t hesitate to find me.”

A wave of gratitude washed over me, and I managed a smile, feeling the pressure I hadn’t realized I’d been carrying start to lift. “Thank you, Lewis. That really means a lot,” I said, trying to convey how much his words reassured me. He gave a small, understanding nod, like he knew exactly what I was feeling.

“Anytime,” he said with a kind smile. “You’ve got a bright future ahead. Just keep your head up.” With a reassuring nod, Lewis turned and walked back toward his team, leaving me standing there with a sense of both calm and determination. I took a deep breath, letting his words sink in, feeling a surge of confidence. 

Gathering myself, I turned and headed back to my team’s garage, the noise of the paddock buzzing around me, but somehow, I felt more focused than ever. As I walked, a few crew members caught my eye, giving me nods and pats on the back, their own excitement mirroring my own. 

I saw Marcus waiting with a grin, surrounded by engineers who all looked just as thrilled. I knew I’d made a mark today—not just on the track but on the people who believed in me. And as I joined them, I couldn’t help but smile.

[goldfades]

ahh congrats on 2.5k lovely! can i request a 🍀 blurb for aubrey griffin where the reader makes a spotify playlist that they thought was private but it’s actually not, and it’s filled with songs dedicated to aubrey & their feelings? and aubrey sees it and fluff and confessions ensue 🤩

evangeline's 2.5k celebration !! [closed!]

─ warnings | a lot of teasing, banter and fluffiness. a singular kiss, friends to lovers

YOU AND AUBREY WERE in your dorm, music playing through your speaker as you two "studied." using the word studying very loosely, it was more of a hang-out than anything. over the last couple months, that's how it's been between the two of you ─ constantly together, constantly laughing, sharing stories, and occasionally glancing at textbooks or laptops in a token nod to productivity.

tonight, as the music filled the air, aubrey was sprawled on the floor with her back against the bed, scrolling on tiktok with half-hearted interest. meanwhile, you were perched on the edge of the desk chair, pretending to read a textbook while covertly scrolling through my phone.

"hey, pass me those chips," aubrey said, not bothering to look up from her phone.

you reached over to grab the bag from the desk, tossing it over to her with a grin. "coach's not gonna like us going through all these snacks like they're nothing,"

"hey, i'm bulking." aubrey laughed as she glanced up toward you.

"i'm gonna start using that, too," you joined in on her laughter as you popped another piece of candy in your mouth.

aubrey nodded, "no it's actually such a good excuse. not even coach can say anything back cause he's always telling us to hit the gym."

you both chuckled at the thought, the easy banter flowing between you as effortlessly as ever. aubrey leaned back against the bed, letting out a contented sigh as she crunched on a chip.

"hey pass me your phone so i can change the music," she said between bites.

you nodded and passed her your phone and she began scrolling. her face contorted into confusion as she glanced up at you then back at the phone.

"uh, what's this?"

your heart dropped when she turned your phone around, a playlist ─ no, the playlist ─ on the screen. oh shit, she saw it.

aubrey immediately tossed your phone back, clearing her throat as her lips turned upward into a smile. you felt a flush of heat rise to your cheeks as aubrey's eyes met yours, and for a moment, you were frozen, unsure of how to respond. but then her smile widened, and there was a hint of something in her gaze that you couldn't quite place.

you swallowed nervously, trying to gauge her reaction as she leaned back against the bed, her gaze never leaving yours. for a moment, there was silence between you, the weight of her discovery hanging in the air.

then, unexpectedly, aubrey burst into laughter, the sound rich and genuine (your heart skipped at beat at the warm sound, you couldn't help but smile). "wow, you really went all out with this, huh?"

relief flooded through you, mingling with a hint of embarrassment. you shrugged, trying to play it cool despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. "i figured you could use some new songs for your study sessions."

aubrey's laughter subsided into a soft chuckle, and she reached over to nudge you playfully. "well, i'll admit, it's a solid playlist. you have good taste, but we've known that,"

you couldn't help but smile at her words, the tension dissipating with each passing moment. you felt a blush creep up as she glanced up at you, the cocky expression morphing into a genuine smile.

"thanks," you said, grateful for her easy acceptance. "i'm glad you like it."

aubrey smirked, once again. "but next time, maybe just tell me you have a crush on me instead of making a playlist about it."

you both erupted into laughter as you shook your head, your face heating up immediately. "hey, well- you don't know that,"

"oh, yes i do," aubrey nodded as she looked up at you. she sighed and put her hand on your knee, a warm feeling spreading through your entire body. "well lucky for you, i have a crush on you too."

"crush," you repeated with laughter, trying to ignore the surprise you felt in the moment. "god i feel like i'm in high school again. haven't had a crush in couple years,"

"wow, i feel special," aubrey teased.

"yeah, well, you're not like anyone I've ever met before," you admitted, a genuine smile tugging at your lips. "i guess you just bring out the high schooler in me."

aubrey's smirk softened into a fond smile, and she squeezed your knee gently. "well, i'll take that as a compliment."

"it is," you leaned in closer, the space between you suddenly feeling charged with possibility. "so, does this mean we're, like, a thing now?"

aubrey chuckled, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "don't know, do you want us to be a thing?"

"yeah," you said, your voice steady with conviction. "yeah, i think i do."

aubrey's smile widened, and without hesitation, she leaned in to press a soft kiss to your lips. it was brief but electrifying, sending a jolt of excitement coursing through you.

"then i guess we're a thing," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

This will be more of a personal post sprinkled with some thoughts on AYS?!, so for those interested strictly in shipping content, you can skip this.

I couldn't help myself yesterday to wait until my work schedule was done. So I watched the first two episodes during lunch break and work, while using the keyboard from time to time to not appear offline.

And then a second time in the evening, without as many interruptions. I even texted my sister to remind her that the episodes have been released (she has JK's songs on her playlists and that's where it stops). My tone was very casual, as if I just remembered it was already up. As if I haven't actually been thinking and obsessing about that show for a year now. But that's because I can't let this online, fandom "life" seep through my other, "real" one. I've always struggled with my feelings of shame over being part of such spaces. Which is why I avoided them completely. Up until four years ago. I'm still dealing with it. I don't want to tell people that I have an interest in a kpop ship and that it's been ongoing for a few years now. It feels to foreign to the image I allow others to have of me and this kpop stuff is childish to say the least. I've fallen victim to the talking points I've argued against intellectually. But life doesn't work that way. My rational brain doesn't get along with my feelings.

So I keep my thoughts about shipping, fandoms, jikook here. And I share them with friends and people that have a connection to it. It's why I have a blog. So I can post a photo of jikook holding hands at the beginning of their journey and at least 10 people will understand it cause they like the same thing. I'm not a loser on my own here so the thought feels comforting.

I didn't have specific expectations about AYS?!, but I felt happy watching it. It was different, but a good different. Having the opporrtunity to witness them from morning till evening without any interruptions painted an interesting picture and it's the first time to see some parts of their dynamic.

They bicker, they flirt, they get lovingly annoyed, they get bored, they get silent, they get touchy. It feels more real than any 2-min clip from a Memories DVD could possibly show us. I don't want picture perfect jikook because it doesn't exist. Being in stan spaces, all I see everyday is worship, a mentality that is then transfered to the people surrounding the idol. But I don't want JK to worship Jimin 24/7 or vice versa. That's not a real relationship of any kind. I want to see them treat each other like they're just people. Which is what they did. Too bad that some have interpreted that as negative when in fact all we got were clear signs of actual closeness. And nothing beats it like Jungkook's attitude towards Jimin being sick. Shippers/supporters have clips and endless arguments on hand to explain the closeness between jikook, but honestly? That first evening in the cabin when JM was in the bathroom and subsequently the next morning should be the sole argument from now on. It can't be more obvious if it hit us in the head.

It's not about needing confirmation at every step of them being a couple. At least I don't need that. In the long run, it wouldn't even matter if they're not. What's noticeable is that they appear to be one and that doesn't come out of thin air.

Is my mood volatile these days? Yes. Actually these past few months. Do I need this show as one of those feel good series? Definitely, because there's nothing else out there to catch my attention in terms of tv content. I don't want to pick apart and poke holes and question every single line to make myself feel miserable. Everything else is too bad and I am too lame so I rely on this show for a short, temporary thing that improves my mood. I don't care about other things, doubts or worries. I really really just want to enjoy jikook doing whatever they want. I don't have high standards.

[cher-rei]

love song ♬– chapter 6 [ J.M ]

pairing: jamal musiala x fem!oc

summary [please read]

genre(s): strangers to lovers, football romance, fluff and angst [love song playlist]

[w.c: 3.7k] masterlist

notes: hold your applause! thank you, thank you 🤭 I fear, ya'll aren't ready for this

previous chapter | next chapter

as the sun rose over the quaint town, noelle settled into her cosy corner of the bnb, surrounded by stacks of books and notes for her thesis. the others— florian, aaliyah, sophia and kai had departed earlier that morning for some alone time for a few days, which left her to her studies.

a blessing in disguise. it was time to lock in without any distractions. just her and her laptop, trying time make sense of whatever was on her screen.

the chill in the air was refreshing, and noelle savoured the silence, sipping on some tea (yes tea, and not coffee) as she worked. her focus was interrupted by the occasional chirp of the birds outside, all thoughts of the tournament out the window as she remained focused.

there was about a week before the quarter final match against spain, and as highly anticipated as it was, noelle needed to get her priorities straight. but just as she was hitting her stride, the doorbell rang. her curiosity piqued, perhaps expecting an unexpected delivery.

instead, she found jamal standing on the porch, his hands shoved into his hoodie pockets accompanied by a warm smile. “hey, I hope I'm not interrupting anything,” he said, eyes crinkling at the corners.

her heart skipped a beat, flashes of their last encounter on the pitch at the denmark match replaying almost immediately. she could still feel the warmth of his body radiating so close to hers, his softened gaze looking down at her as they casually conversed.

her heart swelled but she was quick to regain her thoughts and mutter out a quick apology. “uh, no– definitely not,” she stumbled with a faint smile and absentmindedly fixed her hair. “what brings you here?”

jamal's lips tugged up ever so slightly at her flustered state, catching a glimpse of her hands tucking into the sleeves of her sweatshirt. he shrugged, his shoulders flexing underneath his hoodie. “I heard you were stuck here alone today. thought maybe you’d like some company?”

noelle's cheeks flushed— something that happened quite often when jamal was around, but she couldn't hide the smile spread on her face. “stuck here alone” didn't sound so bad when he phrased it that way.

“that's sweet of you,” she said and stepped aside to let him in. “but I'm actually on a deadline. this thesis isn't going to write itself, unfortunately.”

jamal nodded sympathetically, his eyes following her every move, his legs doing the same as she stepped into the kitchen and offered him some hot chocolate. “I know the feeling. coach has been breathing down my neck about strategy for this spain match.”

noelle laughed and put the kettle on. “I'm sure you'll handle it. you're practically a football genius. “

jamal's face scrunched as took off his hoodie, leaning against the counter to watch noelle. “genius is stretching it, but I'll take it.”

their conversation continued while noelle reached up to get two mugs from the cabinet but her fingers barely grazed the handles, which left her to stand on her tiptoes, straining to reach. see, normally this wouldn't be a problem.

because sophia and aaliyah would know to keep the mugs in the lower cabinets, but ever since she's been on her coffee ban they've done everything in their power to make sure that noelle had no way of getting any caffeine.

they went as far as hiding the coffee away from her, offering to make her tea in the evening just to keep her out of the kitchen. and now, she was left to look like an idiot.

jamal noticed her struggle and stepped closer, his chest brushing against her back. her muscles tensed immediately at the feeling of his body so close to hers… again. she couldn't shake the feeling, her knees begging to give in at his body towering over hers.

without saying anything his hands wrapped around hers, their fingers intertwining as he lifted the mugs down.

“thanks,” she muttered, trying to sound nonchalant despite her racing heart. she turned to face him and flashed a tight lipped smile, their body's still centimetres apart.

“you're welcome,” he said and placed the mugs on the counter behind her. “but next time ask for help, no need to strain those delicate muscles.” he teasingly and gave her upper arm a light squeeze.

she narrowed her eyes at him, her hands gripping onto the counter behind her. he was looking down at her so casually, standing this close to her as if it was normal for him. was it? she was well aware of their height difference but having him look down at her with that look in his eyes— her head barely reaching over his shoulder.

it was different.

“so what’s with the mug-hiding?” his question snapped her back to reality. “sophia and aaliyah trying to drive you crazy?” he asked, quirking a brow.

noelle swallowed. hard. “uhm… I'm on a caffeine ban.”

jamal's eyes widened and he took a few steps back to head back to where he was originally standing. when his back was turned, noelle let out the breath she was holding and tried to snap herself out of her thoughts. “that's harsh. what's the crime?”

noelle smiled wryly and continued with making the hot chocolate. “excessive caffeine consumption. they're trying to save me from myself.”

jamal grinned and took the mugs from her with a grateful smile and followed her into the living room to where she was previously sitting on the couch. as they settled in the living room, jamal handed noelle her mug and she covered his lap with the blanket she was previously sitting under.

somehow, their comfortable conversation drifted back to her thesis that jamal was extremely interested in for some reason. he believed that it was a strange topic to write on for a final assignment, because the feeling and overall idea of love was subjective.

the fact that she was focusing solely on romantic love was even more riveting that he couldn't help but ask her questions. and each time that he would, noelle would quirk a brow in silent approval and admiration.

“I've never thought of love as a phenomenon,” he said, his lips slightly pouted.

noelle grinned. “exactly! it's a complex and subjective experience. I'm trying to understand the commonalities and differences.”

jamal leaned in, his voice low and curious. “and what do you have so far?”

noelle's heart skipped a beat at his proximity, something that he never took into account when around her. it was in no way healthy for her to feel this way— she never dealt with with overwhelming foreign emotions.

“well,” she started just above a whisper, her eyes focused solely on his. “love seems to transcend rational explanation. it's often described as an intense emotional connection, a sense of belonging…”

the atmosphere was thick, the silence enveloping them in way that her lungs were constricting just at the sight of him. his eyes were shimmering underneath the warm lighting, the rain pattering against the windows comforting.

when she realised what was happening she hurriedly pulled back, clearing her throat and set her mug on the coffee table. jamal watched as she put some distance between them, something inside his chest aching slightly but he shook it off and leaned back into the cushion.

“okay then, what does love feel like to you?”

the question caught him off guard but a laugh still slipped from his lips. he took a moment to think, his brows furrowing as he concentrated on the question. “I'm not too familiar with the romance scene. my first and last proper girlfriend was sometime in high school.” he turned to look at noelle with a sheepishly smile.

“lasted about a month.” he laughed at the thought and noelle was in shock, something he said before sticking with her.

she pursed her lips, the question burning on her tongue. “proper girlfriend?” she repeated, her voice laced with curiosity.

jamal nodded. “well, you know, someone I actually took on dates, held hands with… the whole works.”

noelle raised her brow, that wasn't the question she asked. “implying that there were improper girlfriends?”

“yeah, I've had my share of spontaneous kisses and something more on a night out and but nothing else. never got that far.” he simply shrugged after that, making it clear to noelle that he wasn't the fling type.

she sat for a moment to let the information sink in, his behaviour and attitude towards relationships making her lick her lips in thought. “you're the date to marry type?”

jamal's eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled, the thought of marriage barely crossing his mind on any other occasion. “I don't think I'm lucky enough for that,” he stifled a laugh. “I just really value connection.”

noelle nodded slowly, it making sense for the type of person he was. he had a small circle of close friends and valued nothing superficial. private boy with a private life, his focus solely on those dear to him and his career. which was extremely attractive to her, his intentions were always so genuine with everything. it made her heart race.

“but to answer your question I could say that love is like the ultimate penalty shootout. sudden death. you're all in, there's no going back.”

noelle's laughter filled the room, and jamal couldn't help but stare in awe, his lips slightly parted. she went on about how she loved the analogy, perhaps she didn't understand it but it made sense. but jamal understood it. he was there right now. in the middle of that penalty shootout.

metres away from the goalkeeper and the net, the slight breeze in the air gentle and crisp as it hit his flushed face. he could hear his heart pounding, the chants from the supporters deafening but his focus was solely on her and the ball at his feet.

jamal's eyes never left noelle's as she laughed and spoke, her words weaving a spell around him.

“do you want to watch a movie?”

jamal froze for a second, a dazed and confused hum leaving his lips. he didn't hear a thing she said. noelle suppressed her laughter and reached for the remote beside her, waving it in the air. “do you want to watch a movie?”

obviously, he said yes, a bit too eager at first but he didn't care. noelle tossed him the remote with a smile and hopped off the couch to get some snacks, jamal's eyes following her.

“just scream if you can't reach,” he called out and she shot him a glare, causing him to let out a hearty laugh.

when she got back her jaw dropped at the sight of the movie on the screen, the title blaring at her and she immediately shook her head in protest. “no way. this is not happening.”

jamal on the other hand was adorning the biggest smile, opening up the blanket for her to sit. “we are most definitely about to have a scream marathon.”

he gestured to the clock on the wall. “it's not even past lunch yet, it won't be half as scary I promise.”

she blinked at him for a few seconds, the disbelief in her eyes shunned by the desperation and excitement in his as he looked up at her, his hand gently reaching for hers to settle her down beside him. the snacks were set down and he tucked her in with a smile but her eyes were still narrowed.

the opening scene started and noelle was comfortably warmed up with her back against the arm rest, her legs crossed so that they didn't quite reach jamal’s for a multitude of reasons. it was still light out, it at least as light as it could be out in herzogenaurach in the middle of a storm.

every light in the house was off, the curtains were drawn shut, the only source of light illuminating from the tv screen. the movie started off slow, noelle and jamal's commentary easing the atmosphere.

“yes, please carry on talking to the serial kil— oh shit, it's actually her boyfriend! that’s a lot of duct tape— and he's dead. that's just lovely.”

it was about halfway through the movie that her legs began to cramp, a silent curse leaving her lips as she knocked on her thigh to suppress the pain. unfortunately it didn't work because he noticed, his expression laced in confusion.

“are you okay?”

she smiled and threw her head to the back, the pain spiking up all the way to her thigh. “leg cramp,” she admitted and sat up to loosen the tension but jamal was quick to take both her legs and throw them over his lap.

her heart was caught in her throat, eyes wide in shock while his were on the tv, his hands working wonders as the year massaged her calves.

the pain was gone in a matter of seconds, and he looked at her with a smile. “better?”

her eyes widened, still surprised by the sudden intimacy and the concern that she was making hIm uncomfortable. “uh, yeah… thanks.”

noelle's eyes lingered on his hands, still wrapped around her calves, his fingers gently kneading her muscles. the warmth of his touch spread through her legs, soothing the lingering ache. her gaze drifted to his face, his expression relaxed, focused on the movie.

she felt a flutter in her chest, her heart racing with the sudden intimacy. his hands on her legs, his lap cradling her feet, his fingers gently tracing her skin, created a sense of vulnerability she hadn't anticipated.

noelle's cheeks flushed, her mind reeling with the implications. she hadn't expected jamal to be so... comfortable with physical contact. his hands, strong and gentle, seemed to know exactly how to ease her tension.

as she watched him, his eyes never leaving the screen, noelle realised he was genuinely unaware of the effect he had on her. his concern had been genuine, his actions instinctive.

the tension between them dissipated, replaced by a sense of tranquillity.

"comfortable now?" jamal asked, his voice low, without looking at her.

noelle nodded, her voice barely audible. "yeah..."

he smiled, his eyes still on the movie. "good."

the silence between them was no longer awkward, but companionable. noelle's gaze drifted to the tv, but her awareness remained focused on jamal's hands, still gently holding her legs.

as the movie continued, noelle's thoughts wandered. she couldn't remember the last time someone had touched her with such care. jamal's gentle massage had awakened a deep sense of longing within her.

the storm outside seemed to fade into the background, replaced by the warmth of his touch. noelle felt herself melting into the moment, her guard dropping.

after the first movie, which was surprisingly enjoyable, the second was immediately put on without any disturbance or protest. teasing comments were thrown at noelle about her liking towards the movie and her reluctance at first.

she threw her hands up into the air in defence. “whatever, say what you want but sidney is a badass. I'm just here for her.”

jamal titled his head to the side challengingly, his touch lingering on her bare skin. “oh, so I just happened to be here?”

noelle's eyes sparkled with amusement. “well, you're just the mandatory companion.”

he chuckled, loving the banter. “so that's all I am to you? mandatory?” his eyes sparkled with amusement, his hand creeping achingly higher when noelle nodded, her smile etched into his mind.

his hands drifted up her calves, sending a shiver up her spine. “mandatory? I think I can upgrade my status then.”

her smile faltered, her eyes locking on to his. the air thickened with tension, their banter taking on a flirtatious edge that always caught her off guard. “upgrade?” her voice was barely above a whisper, her attention and every nerve in her body focused on his fingers trailing on her thigh.

“to essential… vital even,” he prompted with a smirk, the knot that noelle was in on the verge unravelling.

the word hung in their air, heavy with implication. her heart raced, her mind reeling with sudden aching for the situation. their thoughts swirled with desire, and something more. noelle felt vulnerable, exposed, yet drawn to him like a magnet.

jamal’s touch seemed to burn her skin, leaving trails of sparks whenever he touched. his eyes sparking with amusement now held a deeper meaning.

as the movie's suspense built, their anticipation and unspoken words grew, but not for the plot twists. but for the moment that jamal's hand might brush higher, the moment their lips might meet. noelle's breath caught, her chest rising and falling with each ragged inhale.

then his eyes dropped to her lips— pink and plush and driving him insane. so why couldn't he take the shot? lessen the space?

suddenly, the moment was interrupted but the sound of noelle's phone ringing making her jump up in shock. it was faced down, and almost perfectly, the phone on the movie began to ring, sidney picking it up immediately with the infamous “what's your favourite scary movie?” sounding through the living room.

jamal burst into a fit of laughter and threw his head back at the coincidence, the warmth of his hands leaving noelle's upper thigh as it was now covering his face. her heart was pounding once again, her cheeks flushed but she got the phone and angrily answered only to hear sophia's voice on the other end.

“why are you breathing so hard? wait– who's laughing in the background?”

noelle’s face burned with embarrassment as she tried to compose herself. “I'm just watching a movie…”

sophia’s tone turned suspicious. “what movie?”

noelle glanced are jamal, still chuckling, his eyes shining with amusement. “scream.”

sophia's voice dropped to a whisper, noelle picturing her reaction perfectly. “with jamal?”

she hesitated, unsure if she wanted to out herself at a time like this, especially after what had just happened. she drew a hum, “yeah, he just dropped by to keep me company.”

that wasn't a lie.

“and that's why you're breathing like you've just run a marathon? noelle braun what the fuck!”

noelle was quick to try and interject but sophia was calling out to aaliyah at whatever place they were, the excitement, shock and desperation evident in her voice. jamal's laughter subsided but he held her gaze and mouthed “busted” at noelle, making her eyes roll.

the second she heard aaliyah yell her name she dropped the call. this was not happening today, she didn't have the mental capacity for the shit she was going to get.

their marathon continued shortly after, but this time with less conversation. it was after 6 in the evening and they'd just gotten their pizza and settled back into the living room, their silent glances and brushing knees adding to the ache in their stomachs.

the dim lighting of the living room amplified the tension between them. noelle's eyes fixed on the screen, but her awareness was consumed by jamal's presence.

his arm, slung casually over the couch, seemed to invite her closer. his fingers tapped a slow rhythm on the cushion, sending shivers down her spine.

her breaths came in short gasps, her chest rising and falling with each nervous inhale. she felt jamal's gaze on her, his eyes burning with an unspoken intensity.

as they watched, their knees touched, sending sparks through her entire body. her pulse quickened, her heart pounding in her ears.

the movie's suspense built, but noelle's anxiety stemmed from the proximity to him. every shift in his position made her hyper-aware of his body. his hand drifted closer, his fingers brushing against her shoulder. noelle's skin tingled.

she fought the urge to lean into his touch, her body screaming for contact. the ache in her core grew, a throbbing reminder of her desire. jamal's tapping slowed, his fingers hovering above her skin. noelle's voice trailed off, her eyes locked on jamal's. the air thickened, heavy with anticipation.

his gaze never wavered, his fingers inching closer to her skin. “you okay?"

noelle nodded, her pulse racing. "yeah..."

the movie continued, but they didn't notice. their focus was on each other.

jamal's hand drifted down, his fingers tracing the curve of her shoulder. their knees touched again, this time intentionally. jamal's leg pressed against hers, sending shivers through her entire body.

the moment balanced on a knife's edge, ready to tip into something more.

fuck it.

sucking up her pride and inevitable fear, noelle turned her head to the side to look at jamal, but he beat her to it. her eyes widened in surprise as jamal's lips claimed hers, the sudden contact sending a jolt of electricity through her entire body. she pulled away, her instincts momentarily taking over, but regret flooded her the instant their lips parted.

jamal's eyes, dark and intense, locked onto hers, his face inches from hers. noelle's heart pounded, her pulse racing with anticipation. without a thought, she leaned back in, her lips brushing against his. this time, she was ready.

their lips met in a tender, exploratory kiss, the tension between them igniting. noelle's hands drifted up, her fingers tracing the contours of Jamal's face.

jamal's arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer. the kiss deepened, their lips moving in perfect sync. noelle's legs shifted, her body gravitating toward his. she straddled his lap, their faces inches apart.

their lips parted, and namal's eyes blazed with desire. "noelle..."

her name was a whispered prayer, a plea for more. she couldn't believe was she was doing, never in a million years would she have thought that she's be taking the lead in a situation like this.

the world around them melted away, leaving only the thrumming tension between them. their tongues danced, the kiss growing more intense. noelle's body pressed against namal's, her breasts crushed against his chest.

jamal's hands roamed her back, his fingers tracing the curve of her spine. noelle's skin tingled, her senses on fire.

their lips parted, gasping for air. jamal's forehead rested against hers, their ragged breaths mingling.

"noelle..." he whispered again, his voice husky.

she smiled, her eyes locked on his. "yeah?"

his lips curved, still out of breath. "I am in no way normal about you."

she pulled away and covered her face with her hands, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment . “oh God, what just happened?”

jamal was breathless, unable to believe she was straddling his lap, his hands gripping at her waist. “I think you just ravished me.”

“shut up,” she said and jokingly slapped his chest. “you're not exactly helping me regret this less.”

his eyes crinkled in disbelief, a heavy scoff leaving his lips. “regret it? I'm framing this moment.” he titled his head to get a better look at her— hair undone, cheeks flushed, her shorts riding up, and her t-shirt sitting on her frame in the same way one of his would.

he wanted to frame her.

he continued to rub circles on her bare skin, his fingers relishing in the feeling of her body heat while she continued to ramble about how she messed up, spewing out apology after apology until jamal's lips met hers again, this time for a shorter tender kiss.

he pulled away with a smile and looked into her eyes, glossy and innocent. “I could get used to that.”

noelle playfully pushed him away, the heat returning to her cheeks and creeping up her neck. “for a guy who just got attacked— pounced on, you're pretty smug.”

he chuckled. “I loved the enthusiasm and the look in your eyes.”

a hum left noelle’s lips as she regained her confidence and became more comfortable with the situation. she lazily wrapped her arms around his shoulders, caressing the nape of his neck as they talked— the movie long forgotten.

“no seriously,” jamal said with a chuckle. “I've never seen anyone go from zero to sixty like that before.”

noelle buried her face in the crook of his neck in embarrassment, the replay of the scene in her mind making her excited. “I'm a fast learner I guess?”

her breath tickled his neck, another jolt of excitement. “I think you're a natural.”

she pulled away with a cute smile, and nodded. then she got the remote and spoke into it like a mic, the gimmick making jamal laugh. “how do you feel about having just taken my movie night virginity?”

jamal's laughter filled the room, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "oh, I feel utterly responsible," he said, playing along, his voice dripping with mock seriousness.

noelle's grin was mischievous, her voice husky as she continued her mock interview. "and what do you plan to do with this newfound power?”

his chuckle was low and seductive. "well, I think I'll just have to make sure you never watch movies with anyone else."

her eyes sparkled, her lips curling into a sly smile. "exclusive movie rights, huh?"

jamal nodded, his eyes locked on hers. "absolutely. I'll make sure to keep you entertained."

"I think that can be arranged."

as they continued their playful banter, jamal's fingers traced the curve of her spine, sending shivers down her back.

noelle's mock interview was forgotten, she leaned in, her lips brushing against his. "you're really good at this," she whispered.

his smile was soft, his eyes shining with affection. "good at what?"

her voice was barely audible. "making me feel... comfortable."

jamal's arms wrapped tighter around her, holding her close. "I could say the same about you."

their lips met again, the kiss tender and intimate, the connection between them palpable. as they broke apart, noelle's eyes sparkled. "we're keeping this on the down low right?"

“obviously!” he answered in shock. “have you met our friends?”

[arcane-vagabond]

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Eight

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Eight

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: Your best friend, Bob Floyd, had insisted you join him for the summer at his family's home along the Carolina coasts. You had been hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed to his request. Now, here you were in a new town with strange locals who spoke in hushed whispers and cryptic retellings about glistening scales, glowing eyes, and haunting songs that echoed from the sea. You didn't believe them at first, but when you wake up on the beach one morning after having fallen overboard the night before, you can't help but think that maybe you hadn't imagine the strong arms and deep, green eyes of the man that had saved you.

Trigger warnings: Language, Fluff, A smidgen of angst, Truths revealed, Kind of smut (heavy petting and making out), Magic, Supernatural elements.

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: It's been a hot minute since we've heard from Skipper and Jake! I hope you all enjoy this chapter because it was actually a real struggle to finish for some reason. As always, reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated! Asks/requests are always open! 18+ ONLY!! You can find me on AO3 under arcane_vagabond where I also post my updates!

Series Masterlist || Moodboards || Playlist

You had always loved mermaids. You had always wondered what it must be like to live as half human and half fish, swimming beneath the blue waves of the sea and singing beautiful songs for everyone to hear. You wondered what it would be like to coast your fingers across the rocks and corals, interacting with the creatures below. Were there cities like Atlantica down there that only the merpeople knew about? Or did they migrate like whales?

“You know mermaids aren’t real, honey, right?” Your mother had asked you one day, brow furrowed in concern. You had let out a sigh that only a thirteen-year-old beginning their journey into the reality of life could give.

“Yeah, Mom,” you had frowned, looking out the window and onto the waters of the lake below. “I know.”

“Have you thought about maybe redecorating your room?” She continued, picking up your porcelain mermaid and eyeing it with vague distaste. You glanced over at her, turning to face her slightly.

“I like my things,” you grumbled, pressing your lips into a thin line. “They’re my treasures. And what’s wrong with liking mermaids and the ocean?”

“Nothing, sweetie,” she had sighed, setting it down. “Maybe it’s just time for you to start thinking about more serious things, is all.”

She gave you one last smile before walking out of the room, leaving you to ponder over her words.

Weeks later, her words still floated in your head, and you had relayed the conversation to your grandmother, your mother’s mother, one day as you sat in her living room. She had scowled, shaking her head and fixing you with a fierce look.

“Now you listen to me, young lady,” she groused. “Your mother means well, but she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. There’s magic in this world, believe you me, and it’s a rare person who continues to believe and see it. You just keep doing what you’re doing, and one day you’ll see the truth.”

And one day had finally come.

The waves crashed against the shore with a deafening sound, the wind whipping your hair about your face where it rested atop your knees, and the rock beneath you was vaguely damp, causing goosebumps to run up and down your skin. You had been out there for hours, needing time to come to reconcile what you thought you knew with what you now knew.

The scene on the beach earlier that morning replayed in your mind. The song, falling into the water, Mandy. It was a wonder you hadn’t run for the hills.

You had stood on the beach, soaked to the bone as the rest of the group stared at you like some kind of wild animal, like you might lash out at them at the most sudden of movements.

“Skip,” Bradley had started slowly, taking a small step towards where you stood, feet planted as firmly as they could be in the shifting sand. Your shoulders were drawn back, attempting to make yourself seem more confident than you actually were. In truth, you were still terrified, the adrenaline from your near death experience still running through your veins as your eyes darted the small group gathered around. The sun had barely risen above the horizon, and it was an oddly cold, summer morning, and you fought the shiver that threatened to run up your spine. “Honey, it’s not that we don’t think you’re ready to know…”

He trailed off as you narrowed your eyes at him, anger starting to course through you. Bob cleared his throat, drawing your attention to him.

“It’s just that you’ve been through a lot in the past hour,” he explained with a grimace. “We don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Yeah!” Chirped Mickey. “Besides, you’re still wet, and we wouldn’t want you to get sick or anything.”

“Mickey is right,” Nat smiled gently, “you should get changed out of these clothes.”

She moved to grab your arm, but you shifted away, fixing her with a glare before your eyes once again shifted towards the other members.

“Stop trying to change the subject,” you hissed, your hands tightening into fists at your sides. “Stop treating me like I’m some child.”

Your eyes connected with familiar green ones, and your anger instantly dissipated into a sense of pleading. Jake stared back at you, face unreadable as he took you in. After a moment, he walked towards you, and you didn’t even think about stopping him as he stopped in front of you. He raised a hand, running his thumb lightly over the apple of your cheek, and you felt yourself relax into his touch.

“They’re right,” he said softly. You immediately stiffened, opening your mouth to say something, but he cut you off.

“I promise you, that we will tell you what you want to know. But for now,” he pauses, running his eyes up and down your form, grimacing at the sight of you. “For now, you need to go change into some dry clothes. We can talk more after, okay?”

You stared up at him for a moment, studying him. His eyes bore into yours, not a hint of deceit resting in them. Slowly, you nodded, and he let out a relieved sigh, squeezing your shoulders slightly.

“There’s my good girl,” he smiled, running his hands down your arms before releasing you. You preened at his words, feeling your cheeks warm as you glanced away.

“Okay,” Nat sighed, a relieved smile on her own face. “Now that that’s decided, let’s all head home to change and then we can regroup later.”

Bob had escorted you back home, leaving before you had finished your shower. So, you had walked, and you found yourself where you sat now, on the rocks just past Jake and Bradley’s house on the beach, the sky a dismal grey as the seagulls cried. No one was answering your texts, and while it annoyed you to no end to know that they were probably trying to come up with a way to get out of telling you, you remained secure in the fact that Jake had promised you they would tell you the truth. You let out a long sigh, trying to ease some of the tension out of your shoulders.

“Wasn’t expecting to find you right here.”

You jumped, whirling around to see the familiar green of Jake’s eyes as he gave you an apologetic smile.

“Sorry,” he murmured sheepishly, moving to sit next to you. His shoulder brushed yours in the process, and you inhaled a gasp, hoping he hadn’t heard you.

“It’s okay,” you assured him. “I was just lost in my thoughts, I guess.”

“Care to share?”

“As if you don’t already know what they were about,” you scoffed, a smile tugging on the corner of your lips. He chuckled, nodding slowly.

“You’re right.”

“What are you doing out here, Jake?” You asked. He let out a breath, rolling his shoulders back before answering.

“The others are still debating on what we should tell you, or what you can handle knowing right now. I snuck out to come and find you.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, listening to the different sounds around you. You chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating whether or not to break the calm between the two of you.

“I wasn’t dreaming,” you breathed, peering over at him. “Was I?”

Jake let out a sigh, leaning back against his arms as he continued to stare out into the ocean.

“You’ve heard the stories the older folks tell, right?” He asked finally, meeting your gaze. You nodded slowly, waiting for him to continue.

“Well,” he started, looking back out at the water. “They’re all true.”

A beat passed.

“All of them?” You questioned, looking down and fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. You thought back to all of the things Mrs. Cambroni had told you. “Even the frenzy?”

Jake’s eyes grew wide, and his cheeks turned a brilliant red. He cleared his throat, looking away as he muttered, “Yes, even the frenzy.”

“What’s it like?”

“What?” He blinked, eyes still wide but holding confusion instead of shock.

“What’s the frenzy like,” you pressed, leaning in closer to him. He stared at you for another second before answering.

“It feels like a constant itch underneath my skin. A heat that I can’t dampen no matter what I do. It drives me crazier the older I get.”

“Is it dangerous?” You whisper.

“It can be,” he admitted slowly. “If we don’t take a mate before a certain time, then the magic becomes stronger because there’s nothing to siphon it in to. Mates help with controlling the magic, and our magic grows the older we get. If we don’t take a mate, then the magic will drive us crazy.”

“When does that happen?”

“There’s no real set number of frenzies you go through before it happens. For some, they can’t make it through their third one before they go crazy. For others, it could be their fourth or fifth one.”

“What about you?”

The question hung in the air, and for a second you were worried that you had upset him with how still he was sitting.

“Me?” He chuckled humorlessly, drawing patterns on the rock beneath the two of you. “I can already feel my control slipping sometimes this go around, especially when I’m around you. It’s nothing I can’t handle though.”

“What do you mean?” You frowned, brow furrowing. “I cause your control to slip? Why?”

Jake stared at you, eyes widening once again when he realized what he had said. He shook his head.

“Nevermind. Forget I said anything.”

“No,” you snapped, glaring up at him. “You promised me that you would be honest and tell me what I wanted to know.”

He looked a little taken aback, but let out another sigh as he relented.

“Sea people have what they call ‘true mates,’” he began, “and they’re different from regular mates. True mates are an ideal pair, one the powers that be have ordained as a perfect match. Everyone can take a mate, sure, but very few ever find their true mate. They’re so rare, in fact, that some people think it’s just a myth.”

“Do you?” You asked. “Think it’s a myth, I mean.”

He stared at you for a beat.

“I used to,” he admitted. “I used to think that true mates were just some sappy fairytale that people clung to to make themselves feel better. I used to laugh at the idea, actually. It wasn’t until-”

He stopped, clamping his mouth closed as his cheeks tinged red once again. You furrowed your brow at him.

“Until what?” You pressed. He swallowed thickly, turning to look out at the water.

“Until I met you,” he said quietly, voice barely above a whisper. You let out a small gasp, but waited for him to continue.

“The first night I saw you in that bar, Skipper, I knew. I knew with everything in me that you were the one that I had been looking and waiting for my entire life. You were the one in my dreams growing up. You were the one I could feel in my chest, pulling me towards you. You were the one that made me realize that I could be happy, that I didn’t have to settle for a life that other people had decided for me.”

You stared at him, registering the look of vulnerability on his face, and you sucked in a deep breath.

“I dreamed about you too,” you admitted, causing him to look back at you. “Or, at least I think I did. And I always felt like something was incomplete, like a piece of me was always missing. But when I sit here with you, things just feel…right.”

“Right?” He pressed, leaning in so that your noses were practically brushing each other.

“Yeah,” you murmured, your heartbeat picking up at the close proximity. “Like things aren’t so hard when you’re around. Like I don’t even have to try. Things just feel easy around you, and if I’m being honest, that kind of scares me.”

He hummed, resting his forehead against yours, warm breath running over your face as he breathed out.

“It scares me too,” he said, closing his eyes, his hand reaching out to curl around yours where it rested atop the rock. “My whole life I thought I knew what would happen. I would marry Mandy, I would go work with my father at his business, we’d pop out a couple of kids, and then the rest of life would happen. I’d die in my bed of old age, surrounded by the people that I love having lived a life that anyone would be proud of.”

“And now?” You asked, squeezing his hand. He took a shuddering breath before opening his eyes. You were almost taken aback by how beautiful they were. Swirling shades of sea glass green mixed with darker emerald, a look of pure longing on his face as he stared at you.

“Now, I know that’s not what I want,” he murmured. “I don’t want to be with Mandy. I don’t want to have the pristine, picture perfect family you find in commercials or magazines. I just want you, Skipper. I want you in any way that you’ll have me.”

His eyes were glowing now, the mossy green standing out against the growing darkness of the storm clouds that were rolling in from the sea.

“Your eyes,” you breathed, raising your unoccupied hand to run your fingers across his cheek. “They’re glowing. I knew I wasn’t imagining it.”

Jake nuzzled into the palm of your hand, humming low in his throat as he breathed you in. His eyes fluttered closed as he pressed a chaste kiss in the center of your palm, and your breath hitched. You shifted, leaning in close enough that your lips hovered just over his. His eyes once again connected with yours, boring into you as if he could see every single part that you kept hidden. Your gaze dropped down to his lips for a brief second before darting back up. Eyes hooded, you leaned in, lips barely grazing his before jumping back as the rain started.

The drops came in a downpour, instantly soaking the two of you as you let out a startled laugh.

“Come on!” Jake grinned, gripping your hand and helping you off the rocks before the two of you sprinted towards his house. You trotted up the steps after him, letting out another peel of breathless laughter as the two of you caught your breath. You looked out at the beach as it continued to pour, a peel of thunder cracking through the roar of the rain. You turned back to look at Jake with a smile, shaking your head.

“The rain didn’t even build up to-”

Jake’s lips were soft on yours, pressing firmly as he cupped your cheek in his hand. You froze, taken by surprise. He pulled back after a second, eyes uncertain as they watched you.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment, eyes growing wide with panic. “I shouldn’t have done that. I just thought after the rocks and you were standing there looking so pretty, I just-”

You cut him off with a kiss of your own, and he stiffened for a second before returning it. His hands landed on your waist, backing you up against the pillar by the stairs as his lips moved against yours in a heated bid to feel every part of you. Your own hands moved to tangle in his hair, pulling on the still wet strands gently and earning a groan from him. His tongue traced your lower lip, and you instantly opened up to him, relishing in the feeling of the muscle against your own.

Jake’s grip tightened on your waist before moving his right hand up to grope at your breast, squeezing it with a low groan. You moaned into his mouth, one hand releasing his hair to slide down and grip at his shoulder as you pressed against him. He continued to lick languidly into your mouth, savoring the taste of you and every little sound you made. He pulled away to allow you to breathe, nipping at your bottom lip gently. As you sucked in a lungful of air, he busied himself with pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your jaw and down your neck. You tilted your head to the side to allow him better access, and you felt him smirk against you as his left hand grabbed your thigh to wrap your leg around him. You could feel the hard bulge press against you, and a tingle ran up your spine.

“Jake,” you breathed out, head thrown back as he nipped at your skin, running his tongue over the same spot to soothe the sting. His lips worked lower and lower as you began to roll your hips against his. You let out a strangled cry as his lips connected with the intention mark on your neck, pleasure rippling through your veins as you gripped onto him and ground down harder onto him. Jake nipped at the mark, causing you to let out another cry as your nails dug into the meat of his shoulders through his shirt. You could feel your arousal dripping from you as your mind grew heavy with lust.

Suddenly, Jake pushed away from you, practically throwing himself across the porch. You whined at the loss, brow furrowed in confusion as you took in the state of him. He was panting hard, almost crouched as he gripped the porch railing to steady himself. His eyes were still glowing, brighter than they were previously, but fading in and out as he calmed down.

“Jake,” you murmured, “are you okay?”

“Not like this,” he said, more to himself than to you. “I don’t want it to be like this.”

“What are you talking about? Jake, you’re worrying me.”

He looked at you then, taking in your disheveled state as he righted himself. A mixture of regret and longing adorned his face as he spoke.

“I gave that mark to you during a moment of frenzy,” he admitted, gesturing to the bite in question. “I was so scared that you weren’t going to make it, and the frenzy magic was already in overdrive. I gave it to you without thinking, and I’m sorry.”

“Jake,” you said slowly, taking small steps towards him as if you might scare him off otherwise. “I’m not mad about that at all, but why are you suddenly acting this way?”

“Because,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair, “because I already told you. I want you, Skipper, and I want you to want me back. I want to know that you want me for me and not because of some damn magic that tells us we’re supposed to be together.”

You stared at him for a moment, processing what he was telling you. It was true that you felt a pull towards him that could only be explained by the magic, but it felt so much more than that. Jake was sweet and kind, and he cared for you. He made sure that you were taken care of when you were vulnerable, and he wanted to hear your opinions on things. You did want Jake beyond the magic, but you were more than willing to take the time to prove that to him.

“Okay,” you agreed, nodding slowly. “So what do you suggest?”

“Can we,” he swallowed thickly, eyes hopeful as they searched you. “Can we take it a little slow? Maybe spend some time alone together?”

“You mean like on dates?” You smiled, standing in front of him now and batting your lashes at him. A grin tugged on the corner of his lips as he looked down at you, giving you a nod.

“Yeah. I want to take you out on a date.”

“Just the one?” You teased, and he rolled his eyes, a full-blown grin on his face now.

“Well, I was hoping you’d give me more than just that,” he teased back, leaning into you again. You tapped a finger on your chin thoughtfully.

“I dunno,” you hummed, fighting back the smile that threatened to overtake you. “I guess we’ll just have to see how the first one goes, won’t we?”

“I have full confidence in myself that I’ll be able to convince you of that second date.”

“Come on, Crooner,” you laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the front door. “Let’s get changed before we catch a cold or something.”

About a half hour later, you were dressed in a pair of oversized sweats and an old t-shirt - both belonging to Jake. The two of you were huddled up on the couch underneath a blanket, some random movie thrown on to fill the silence. Your legs were curled under you as you rested against Jake’s side, his arms wrapped around you as you played with his fingers.

“You bit him?” You huffed out a laugh as Jake chuckled. “Why?”

“Because Bradley gets a little big for his britches sometimes,” Jake defended. “He knew I had an interest in you and what we were, and he still pressed his luck. Even with the mark on your neck. ”

“Boys,” you exclaimed with a roll of your eyes. A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as the movie continued to drone on in the background.

“Jake,” you hummed thoughtfully, “do you regret giving me this mark?”

He stiffened against you, and you chanced a glance up at him. His lips were pressed into a firm line, brow furrowed as he looked at you.

“Absolutely not,” he bit out. “Why would you think that?”

“It’s just,” you hesitated, still fidgeting with his fingers as you looked down, “it’s just been one thing after the other since you gave it to me. Am I really worth the trouble?”

“Skipper,” he said firmly, cupping your jaw and making you look at him. “I will never regret you, okay? Even if you decide that this isn’t something you want, I will live the rest of my life knowing that I had the privilege of having you even for a moment.”

His eyes were sincere as they held your gaze, and you suddenly felt silly for doubting him. You nodded, willing the tears that prickled behind your eyes to go away. You sniffed before settling back down against him, basking in the feeling of him stroking a hand through your hair.

“Jake! We can’t find Skipper anywh-”

You jumped as the front door burst open to reveal your friends, Bob at the front of the pack. All of you stared at one another before you raised an eyebrow at them.

“Are you coming in or not?” You snapped, fixing them all with a glare. Jake turned the TV off as the squad filed in, taking seats wherever there was one available. Once everyone was settled, you continued.

“Finally decide on how you’re going to lie to me some more? Whatever you came up with, I sure hope it’s better than the ones you were telling me before.”

The group had the decency to look ashamed. Bob gave you an apologetic look as he faced you from where he sat in one of the recliners.

“We never wanted to lie to you, Y/n,” he explained. “But would you have believed the truth?”

“I might have,” you countered. “You could have at least tried.”

“Would you trust an outsider that you barely knew with a secret like this?” Javy chimed in. He made a good point, and your silence answered for you.

“I wanted to tell you, Skipper,” Bob continued, “but it wasn’t my secret to tell. And with all the stuff between you and Jake, it just seemed like it would be so much to throw at you.”

“I get that,” you conceded, nodding slowly. “But Jake’s already told me most of everything, so no more lying to me, okay? I need to know and be kept in the loop moving forward okay?”

Everyone looked at each other before nodding at you. You gave them a small smile before letting out a relieved breath.

“Good,” you chirped. “Now that that’s settled, let’s go get something to eat. I’m starved.”