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theonlygamergost · 3 years ago

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Friendship disguised as rivalry - Seaside!au

It isn’t Gost if she doesn’t think about something and the writes about it, so here I am, making an au and writing a fanfic about it.

I haven’t written in a while and this was beta-read by me, so sorry for any errors.

Seaside!Dspm au is a fanmade au by me where the members work at a sea housebath called, “Seaside”, here is the original concept, might wanna read it for context.

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Dream accidentally says that ‘He’s better than Techno’, so they hold a Sky surf race to see if he’s right.

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Warning! This contains swearing!

Enjoy~

It had been a windy day, no doubt, the sky had been coloured by the plastic Sky surf kites floating around, sometimes it blew Wilbur’s mind that at the end of each one, there was a person, surfing away. The sunset could be admired perfectly from the counter of the bar, and because they were so close to closing time, he had time to admire it slowly, “I’m happy Dream’s and Sapnap’s course is going well” Ranboo approached the counter and left off a tray with dirty glasses, Wilbur hummed in reply. The younger boy, leaned on the counter himself and had to cover his eyes from the blinding light, “Niki came by and told me they had to call Tommy and Karl to help because of how many people there were”. The musician sighed and stretched before placing what Ranboo had brought inside the dishwasher, “They got lucky that there was a lot of wind today, perfect to launch off the activity” a little breeze passed right at that moment, both of the boys smiled at the timing.

A ring of a bell snapped Ranboo out of his thoughts, “Whoops, that's for me!” and hurried to the kitchen. Just as he left, Wilbur realized that loud laughter was coming his way, and when he turned to see who it was, he was welcomed by the “Dream team”, Tommy, Karl and Technoblade, all of them had slightly damp shirts and a towel, “The best thing is that the wind was in his favour and still lost!” Karl exclaimed and the rest apart Dream started laughing, “I’m sorry Dream but he beat you faire and square” George placed a hand on the blondie’s shoulder who immediately shrugged it off, “I don’t need you to remind me” he rolled his eyes, Tommy laughed once again, “What Dream?” Sapnap hit him with his elbow, “Is the little piss baby too angry to admit defeat?” The rest of the boys laughed, “Guys please stop, it isn’t funny” he crossed his arms, Techno spoke up, “Yeah guys, give him a break, it isn’t nice to rub salt in the wound, he knows he’s a sore loser” a bright smile and mischievous eyes looked at Dream, “Oh fuck off Techno” the blondie surrendered and leaned on the counter, Wilbur welcomed him with a smile, “Let me guess, they’re making fun of you because you called yourself ‘Better than Techno’, ey?” Dream nodded, sitting in one of the high stools at the counter, everyone did the same, dropping off the backpacks at their feet. Tommy slammed his hand on the counter, “Will you should have been there! Techno was a disadvantage the WHOLE time and fucking killed it!” The pink-haired man cracked a little smile, flattered to see the little blondie so excited about his win.

Wilbur grabbed six glasses and placed them in front of each boy, pouring water in all of them, Sapnap and Tommy chugged them so he had to refill them instantly, “Well now I’m curious, tell me how the race went” George giggled just thinking about the events that went down not too long before, “I’ll tell him!” Karl exclaimed, and started narrating.

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On Phil’s recommendation, Dream and Sapnap, both Sky surf instructors, had put up an event where from two pm until five-thirty pm, with a small cost, you could Sky surf for thirty minutes with the establishment’s equipment, and if you didn’t know how to do it, they could teach you pretty easily. The idea was nice, both men were down to do so, and the day was pretty windy, they were expecting a maximum of six, seven people as soon as they opened, not twelve. Pretty early they called Karl to come help them with the event, an hour later they also had to call Tommy because they really had underestimated how many people would be interested. So the afternoon was going well, something about thirty people showed up in the end and everyone was tired, thank god the two helpers were around that day.

As everyone was getting back to shore, Techno, who had left Jack on lifeguard duty, dropped by to see how it was going, “I’m glad Phil’s idea took off” Dream was knelt folding the kites, he smiled at the pink-haired man, “Yeah, I mean when did Phil’s ideas not take off” Techno smiled, he was right, Phil always had the best ideas, “Are you tired yet?” The blondie got up and shook his head, “Nah, had to stay on land for most of the time, Sapnap and Tommy handled the sea part” he placed the kite in its respective backpack and grabbed the board and strings, “Would you be down for a race? Voices says that you’re better than me and I’d like to prove them wrong”.

Dream cringed, a couple of days ago, out of pure adrenaline from winning a race with the ‘Dream Team’ he had yelled that ‘He was better than Techno’, he didn’t mean it, Techno and he had was a mutual rivalry with a shared skill level, their only difference was Dream knew how to exploit the winds currents to go faster, Techno had more experience on surfing in general, so he had better balance, knowledge on how to control the kite and had an extreme precision when jumping, you couldn’t tell which one was better. “Ah… that… Yeah, s-sure! I’ll give you a chance” Dream stuttered, he was sure the pink-haired man knew he was the one who said that and yet, Techno smiled, as nothing happened. “I’ll go grab my equipment then, see you at the starting point” and so he turned around and headed off to the lifeguard chair. Dream sighed, “Oh what have I done...” he was already a little sore, mostly his arms, but Techno was ready to go and completely fresh, knowing the man, he was going to give it his all.

“Hey Dream what are you standing there for?! There are still things to put away!” Sapnap approached him, slapping his hand on Dream’s shoulder, he flinched, “I have done a mistake” he turned to look at the man with the black hair, he tilted his head in confusion, “What did you do?” Dream sighed once again, “I woke up the sleeping pig...”. Sapnap blinked, and upon realizing what Dream had said-

“Holy shit dude... KARL! TOMMY!” he immediately shouted back to the other two boys helping some people off their gear, running towards them, “TECHNO AND DREAM ARE HAVING A RACE!!!” at this point all he could do was sigh for the third time as yells of excitement came from behind him, he stared out at the sea, this was going to be a difficult one.

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After they inflated the kites, slipped into their suits and laid out the strings, they were ready to go, “Ladies and gentlemen! A race between the best Sky surfers of the Seaside bathhouse is about to begin!” George talked through the megaphone, gaining the attention of the bathers, Dream started to feel the familiar adrenaline of being the centre of attention. “Please stay clear of the start/arrival and the path of the race!” He spoke again, looking back at Techno, Tommy was childishly jumping around him, probably spouting encouragements, like Techno even needed them.

“Hey dude, good luck” Sapnap approached him and smiled, Karl also waved his hands around, giving him a thumb up, “YOU CAN DO IT DREAM!!!” He shouted from next to Niki, that happened to come and watch, he felt a little reassured by the positivity. Right before they started, George whispered him a “Good luck” and smiled before speaking back into the megaphone, “The contenders will have to get into the water, circle the buoy in the distance and get back to shore, the first one to complete the course will be the winner!” After a deep sigh, he signalled Karl to let go of his kite, Techno did the same to Tommy, “Dream, Technoblade, that the best may win, good luck to both” the contenders nodded to George’s wishes, “You scared Dream?” The pink-haired man had tied his long hair into a pigtail, Dream scoffed, “I should ask the same to you!” The other man smiled, “Good luck green man”, he nodded.

“On your marks… Ready… Set…GO!!!” George gave the go, both men ran into the waves and hopped on their boards, the race was on.

Techno started surfing first but Dream passed him quite early, calculating how the wind went, his usual competitive technique should have worked just fine, and it did, he was the first one to circle around the buoy, Techno had lost a lot of ground, they were both too far way too hear the people cheering on the shore.

The wind picked up, Dream took it as a good opportunity to increase his speed, and so he did, kneeling a little. He could feel the adrenaline rise as the people were becoming bigger and clearer to see.

Well, that was until his rival surpassed him with a long jump, the happiness disappeared and got replaced with fear: It was Techno’s speciality, jumping a very long distance even without a favourable wind.

As the man got further away from him, he started calculating how he could gain back some ground: Jumping was out of the question, the wind would have knocked him in the wrong direction, how the hell did Techno do it? The best option was to follow the wind as much as possible and correct the trajectory manually, it was all he could do.

But not long after a dozen of meters, Techno jumped again, and of course skipped a long distance, getting him an irrecoverable distance from Dream. It was over, no way he was getting this, the adrenaline started to decrease as Techno got on land, a loud cheer announced his defeat.

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“Ey! Good job Techno!” Wilbur shook the man a little, gaining a smile. “Dream did very well too, he had an impressive advantage at the start” George looked at the blondie, they both smiled, Dream felt lucky that his ‘Team’ had his back. “EWWW! Get a room you two!” Tommy yelled out, making everyone laugh,

“HEY GUYS!!!” They all turned to see Quackity wave at them from the other side of the bar, “We’re playing darts! Who doesn’t join is a pussy!” Tommy and Sapnap jumped off the stool immediately, “As if I wouldn’t join!” The one with the white bandana stated, George giggled and also hopped off, “Yeah sure, wait until I destroy you, then you wish you hadn’t joined” Quackity laughed, “Yeah, sure Gogy!” Karl followed the group, “I’ll cheer you all on!”.

As they got further away, Techno turned to Dream, “Thank you for the race by the way” Dream snapped his gaze at him, “Huh?” the man smiled, “You know there can’t be a better one between us, you have multiple recent gold medals and I have old gold medals. Plus, who cares? I just enjoy racing with someone of my skill level” Dream smiled, “Don’t get soft on me Techno” The pink-haired man smiled, “What, can’t handle compliments?” They both laughed, cheering at their rivalry-friendship.

Ranboo shook Wilbur’s shoulder and whispered, “Weren’t they supposed to be enemies?” the older one turned away from the small glass they were looking through, “Nah, Techno and Dream have always been great friends, they just don’t know how to express gratitude well, so they fight instead” Wilbur went on to help Fundy with the appetizer for the darts contest, Ranboo let out an “Oh…” and then followed Wilbur, leaving the two men alone to chat.

#fanfiction #my fanfiction #dreamspm #dreamsmp fanfiction #dreamsmp au #technoblade #wilbur soot #karl jacobs #georgenotfound #sapnap #tommyinnit #fanmade au #writing #my writing #Dreamsmp! Seaside au

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andrina-the-amazingsupergenius · 5 years ago

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When in Blackpool, the Las Vegas of England || Rowdy and Randy

Summary: Andrina gets the best idea for a joke she’s ever had.

@n0ttinghamshad0w

ANDRINA Andrina was in Blackpool, bitches! How did she get here? She didn’t know. It was one of those Andy-spirals that started off as a joke, then turned into a dare, then turned into a promise, then turned into a swear. She’d just been closing up shoppe in Whosits and Whatsits, checking on their stash. She’d just put on some music– Highway to Hell by AC/DC. She just pretended to play air guitar, just fell into Rob’s arms, just made out with him a little on top of Attina’s desk, when the words road trip fell out of her lips. Wouldn’t it be so funny? she’d said. And maybe Rob said something about there being a couple of buyers who might be interested in Cruella’s finest. And couldn’t they be there, and back again, before anyone knew it? And no she wasn’t drunk, when she started the trip, coasting along in the Whosits van. And she wasn’t drunk when they got to Blackpool either, after midnight, and found the downtown alive and throbbing, bleeding light like a wound. And she wasn’t drunk when she had sex with Rob in the loo of an old arcade, after completely kicking his arse at Pacman, his hair in one of her hands, her raffle tickets in the other. She was, actually, just polishing off a cocktail when they started playing Blackjack. She was, maybe, getting a little tipsy, and a little handsy, as she watched Rob count cards and get away with it. By the time they left, it was 3 in the morning and they were a few hundred quid richer. Andrina’s fingers were caressing the nape of Rob’s neck and she was thinking about fucking him again. That’s when the sweet voice of Freddie Mercury caught her pinball eyes. She turned her head to the sweet rock music of Don’t Stop Me Now, and out of nowhere, Andy started laughing. “Hey, you know what would be so funny?” Andy said, sliding her hand down Rob’s spine. She sipped at the vanilla milkshake she’d just bought cheap outta a McDonalds, and her eyes glinted when she met Rob’s own. “If we got married here.”

ROB This was the closest he’d been to home in ‘bout two years now. ‘Course they weren’t even that close, mind you. ‘Course Rob wasn’t supposed to be thinkin’ of Nottingham as home. ‘Course Rob was supposed to have left Swynlake soon as the Davis job was over, find Tuck and Martin and Jo once again. Funny how plans change. Here he was now, pockets full of money he’d won and he’d whispered in Andrina’s ear that maybe they should consider a career in gamblin’ instead — she’d make a mad good poker pro, if he had to guess. Briefly, he entertained travelin’ the world, goin’ to casinos in Monaco and Las Vegas, places glitzier and more glamorous than lil’ Blackpool — his head spinnin’ with possibilities, with thoughts of suave suits and sparkly dresses and then Andrina spoke. He let out a laugh. That was the furthest thing from what he was thinkin’ right now really and so amused was he that he near scooped her up and planted a kiss right on her mouth. “Imagine the two of us gettin’ married at all,” he said, leanin’ over to take a sip of her milkshake. And ‘cuz it was a dumb joke by Andrina, he went along with it, of course, ‘cuz that’s what the two of ‘em did. It was sorta like a game. Well it was really a game — sometimes against one another, sometimes on the same team. The only rule, really, was that they had fun. And Rob did like havin’ fun. “Here’s how it’ll go,” he said with a grin. “I’ll knock the rings off a vacationin’ couples hand — a rich one, mind you, only the best for my betrothed. And you’ll sweet talk a dress from a shop clerk who’s sweet on you, not even a dress maybe just a veil or somethin’. And we’d have to get married by that bloke over there — “ Rob pointed at the Freddie Mercury impersonator. “‘Cuz it’s not real love unless it’s sung by Freddie, you know.”

ANDRINA She loved this game. Andrina actually loved a lot of things. She once thought that wasn’t the case-- that she was sort of a heartless monster (lol) and the love gene had skipped her. But since she’d started stealing things, Andrina realized that her love gene was just different. Maybe she didn’t have one or two hobbies-- maybe she had a whole bucket-full, and that was okay. Maybe she didn’t want to go on dates or get a boyfriend and maybe she really was going to be Wine Aunt. But that wasn’t failure. She wasn’t heartless. Andrina loved nights that ended in a completely different place than they began. She loved the chaos of her room, its pieces always spread out like she was a magpie with her nest in constant creation. She hated working the counter at Whosits, but she loved sorting through the boxes of donations. She loved playing dress-up; she loved sex in public places; she loved getting in the Andrina-Zone between the hours of midnight and 4 in the morning, where the world was quiet and it zeroed in to whatever weirdo project she was working on. Those hours were Andrina at her most exhilarated, creative, blissed out. She stumbled into bed exhausted and happy as if she’d had the best sex in her life, though Andrina would tell you it was always better than sex. She didn’t understand the thrill her sisters got from crushing on this or that person or the dreams they had about husbands, wives, kids-- even empires. But she knew what it meant to love. She didn’t think she loved Rob, but she loved the type of life he gave her. She loved that he never pushed her into stupid boxes. She loved every night like this one. It was between the hours of midnight and 4. The Andrina-Zone. Her favourite hours. So maybe that’s what made that particular, stupid box appeal on that night. Because it wasn’t just a box, it was a story. Rob told it so well, Andrina’s heart was suddenly pounding, she wanted to know more. “Ooooo, the height of romance-- why, I do declare, Mr. Gardner, if I won’t just marry you right on the spot.” Andrina affected her voice into the buttery accent of a Hollywood movie star. She cooed. “I want a rock as big as the moon, Mr. Gardner! Will you steal me the moon?” She batted her eyelashes at him. She giggled but then her eyes flashed and she was Andrina again. “I dare you. Hey, whoever gets back to the chapel first wins a prize!”

ROB The game was on. Rob tugged Andrina’s hand to his lips, pressing a fresh milkshake sticky kiss to the back of her hand, and then dropped it, giving a two-fingered salute as he backed away. “Prize to be determined by winner — starting now!” And off he dashed. Sometimes, if he really wanted to get thinkin’ about things, Rob realized he was turnin’ 30 this year, which never seemed like an age he’d even get to, really. He figured he’d be caught by then, figured that like many of the blokes he’d grown up with, he’d be lost to drugs or to the cops ‘cuz of somethin’ else. But he was lucky — he was lucky and hey, he dinnit know the makeup of his DNA, but he looked enough like everyone else to get by. And he was very good at what he did and so here he was, almost 30, older than he thought he’d ever turn and still just as wild as he was at 18. Well, he was more careful now. Dinnit draw attention to himself. Dinnit get into fights. Instead, he slipped into crowded casinos and bars and he looked for couples sloshed outta their minds. Rings were tricky little buggers. Try a wrong hand, with someone whose ring was just tight enough, and you were easily caught. Rob waited a lil by the bar, orderin’ a drink and keepin’ an eye out for easy marks. For the bloke — he spotted an older fella, sittin’ with a girl who had to be at least half his age. On his left hand, a wedding band. Rob kept his eye trained on this fella, ‘cuz he knew at one point this man’d slip his ring into his pocket, feelin’ too guilty about flirting with the pretty young bird with the reminder of a wife at home. This happened quicker than Rob anticipated, which dinnit make him feel at all bad, as he brushed past and slipped his hand in the man’s jacket pocket and secured the gold ring. It was more varied with stealin’ a women’s ring. He could check the loo, see if anyone forget their ring as they washed their hands. He could hope that there was a gal who had a similar mindset as that old bloke. But really, the best bet in a place like this was to find a bird who was too skinny, too jittery, wearing fancy clothes and with pristine skin — someone drunk enough to say yes to a dance and not notice if in grabbin’ her hand, Rob slipped off her ring. He spotted a bird like that, and just his luck, it was someone at a Hen party — not the bride, but another gal and everyone at Hen parties, ‘specially Hen parties thrown by rich women, wanted to dance with fit scrappy blokes. The girl in question was blonde and had massive fake tits and plump fake lips and before Rob asked her to dance, he heard her talking loudly to her friends about sendin’ back her meals last night at dinner and how she had to fire her last chauffeur for takin’ time off to see his newborn baby. So yeah, he dinnit feel bad as he snagged the large diamond off her ring finger. She was so distracted by the fact he was whisperin’ some dumb sexy thing into her ear that she barely noticed. Rings secured, Rob bolted back out into the night, racing to the chapel as fast as he could. He saw Andrina right across from him, ‘bout the same distance away, and then grit his teeth and ran the remaining distance.

ANDRINA Andrina loved games, but she loved winning more. So as Rob pulled away, she was already laughing, her victory a bright spark in each eye. They hadn’t established any rules, which meant that Andrina could cheat if she wanted. And duh, she wanted. Cheating never cheapened a victory; it sweetened it, reminding Andrina that she was clever, and she loved being clever. And without Rob around to curb the worst of her impulses, she’d give into them. So Andrina didn’t bother to race off into the city, to find some shoppe with its lights still on. She knew how this worked. She’d seen movies and TV and stuff (wasn’t life just like movies and TV and stuff?) Andrina slurped at her milkshake and strided toward the very chapel they were supposed to meet at. She walked right in and up to the desk. “Hey, do you guys do, like, bridal veils and dress rentals and stuff?” she asked the man working at the counter. The man started at the desk, looking up from his phone. His eyes were bloodshot. Ooooooh he was high as fuck. “And by stuff, I also mean weed, you have any of that too?” “Wh--” “I’m kidding! Kind of. I am if you are,” Andrina flashed a smile and leaned over the desk, showing off her cleavage. “We...are a wedding chapel,” the man stated very slowly. He licked his lips. “We do have uh, tuxes and dresses available with some of our packages, listed here in the brochure…” “Here’s the thing,” Andrina said and she leaned in even closer. “I sort of have a bet with a friend. Can I like, just borrow it?” “Uh.” “I’ll give you the rest of my milkshake,” Andrina sang, giving it a shake. She tilted her head and grinned. “And I won’t tell your manager you groped me.” The man’s jaw went slack. Ten and a half minutes later, Andrina was outside, dressed in a cheap wedding dress, with a joint between her teeth for good measure. “I WIN!” she shouted toward Rob. “By all means, take your time! Maybe I’ll just marry my new friend, Earl!”

ROB “Ah, fuck,” said Rob, but he smiled and sprinted the last bit of the way. Reachin’ into his pocket, he pulled out the ring, and as he reached Andrina, he more or less crash landed onto one knee, holdin’ out that big, obnoxious rock that he’d swiped. “Andrina Genieve Triton,” said Rob, voice all serious, as he held out the ring. “Will you do me the honor of marryin’ me?” This was a grand game — a grand joke, yeah? Imagine scrappy Robin Hunt from Nottingham ever getin’ married. ‘Course it would be somewhere like this busted wedding chapel in Blackpool, with rings he stole. When he’d thought of marriage in the past, it seemed like somethin’ impossible: Rob was not a man who wore stuffy suits in a proper church and said bullshit lines in front of a priest. That’s what most girls wanted — maybe not a church, but a country club. Maybe not a priest, but a speech from their fathers, a best man and all that bullshit. Andrina dinnit though. Andrina had a bloody joint in her mouth now and the wedding dress she wore looked like a Halloween costume with its gaudy jewels and plunging neckline. She looked like the best goddamn thing he’d seen in his life. “Well whaddya say?” said Rob, still on one knee.

ANDRINA: The ring was gorgeous. Also, really ugly. It was both these things at the same time, and Andrina’s eyes widened at the sight of it, before she burst into laughter. Of all the ridiculous things that Andrina had ever done in her whole life-- this was the most ridiculous. A spontaneous trip to Blackpool! Gambling, sex in the bathroom, milkshakes, Earl, a costume wedding dress! And now she was looking at some kind of Kardashian mistake of a ring-- she had no idea if any of those stones were real, because they were the kind of thing that looked so shiny and over-the-top you had to second-guess, but also maybe it was real, and Rob held in his hand more money than any of them had ever had in their bank accounts combined (and that was saying something for Andrina, Daddy’s Little Princess). And here he was, offering it to her. And was he serious? Suddenly, Andrina didn’t know. Suddenly, she was looking down at the only boy who had never asked her to be anything that she wasn’t, and he was wearing that smile of his-- one that looked like he was always hiding the best part of an inside joke. She wanted to kiss that mouth. Andrina wondered if that meant she was in love with him. She wondered it, and nothing moved inside of her. No big firework moment-- but none of the cold, clammy fear either, that had always taken her by the neck and never let her go. She could marry this person and she didn’t think it would change anything, besides the fact that she’d have this massive, ugly ring to wave in people’s faces. Also, she could call herself Mrs. Gardner in an affected posh accent, which was always fun. Mrs. Andrina Gardner. Or Mrs. Andrina Hunt, or whatever. “I think I dared you first, that’s what I say,” Andrina declared. She grinned. She yanked up Rob by his collar, took the cigar out of her mouth, and planted a kiss on his lips, dirty and greedy and still tasting a little bit like milkshake. When it broke, she stuck the cigar in Rob’s mouth, took the ring, and slid it on her hand. She fanned it in front of her face. “I’ll do it if you’ll do it,” she said. And that was definitely a yes in Andrina-speak.

ROB Hell, they’d come this far and Rob wasn’t about to back out now. Did he want to get married? He dinnit know. Getting married was somethin’ he’d just never thought about. When Andrina kissed him though, hard and fast and sticky, he had the quick little thought that if somethin’ ever happened — if he couldn’t kiss her anymore — he’d be missin’ something more than just her lips. Not to say he wanted her to be the only person he kissed from here on out (or vice verse), but just that if he couldn’t kiss her well, then — Look, this was all some complicated stuff to be thinkin’ about when he was supposed to be havin’ the happiest day of his life, yeah? He didn’t answer her directly. Cigar still in his mouth, he grabbed her and lifted her up bridal style and spun around a little, before marching right into the chapel. “Oi!” he said to the greasy-lookin’ bloke at the counter. “We’re here to get married! Where do we do that at?” Determined not to put Andrina down till the moment they were in front of whatever sorta makeshift aisle they had in this horrendous lookin’ building. The greasy bloke grabbed some forms and led them through a door, down to a room dressed up in pink gawdy hearts and flowers and floatin’ lil naked babies. He plopped Andrina down then and extended his arm to her. “Ready?” he asked. There was still a teasin’ look in his eye, of course, but it was coupled with just a bit of seriousness. ‘Cuz here they were, here he was with Andrina wearin’ some trashy rental gown and ring he’d nicked at a nightclub, lookin’ at him like he was a prize she just won at a carnival. He looked at her and he felt… well happy. Ahem. He turned away, shouting at greasy fellow. “Can we get a wedding march here? Or something dancey? I wanna do this proper, mate. Only the best for the love of my life.”

ANDRINA: Rob lifted her up and Andrina squealed, instantly kicking her feet as if she was trying to escape. Rob’s grip was firm though. He had her locked in his arms. Locked down, some might say-- hardy har har, marriage is an oppressive institution that people still willingly entered despite a shitton of sexist comments and attitudes!!!!!!! But Andrina could escape if she wanted. Elbow Rob in the face and give the bugger a nosebleed and call the whole thing off. She’d even laugh it off and make it impossible for Rob to get mad at her. She knew how to play her cuteness as a shield like that. But she didn’t want to escape. She kind of wanted to get married. Why not? It wasn’t permanent. No matter what anyone said, marriage was a checkbox, and Andrina could check it off tonight, and erase it tomorrow. But she wanted to say, at least once, she’d been married. In Blackpool. On a whim. To the love of her life-- or maybe not-- but certainly to a lad she liked more than she’d ever liked any boy. So she struggled only to make this more fun, and if she was playing a part, she was playing damsel, for once. God knows she’d never play that part again. And then it was time, and she clicked down onto her boot heels and flipped her hair. She pretended to sniff snootily and tugged down at her sweater as though she was adjusting some kind of fancy bodice. Then she weaved her arm through Rob’s and waited for the music. The wedding march sounded and Andrina turned to Rob with her Serious (™) face on. “Race you down the aisle,” she said, Seriously. And then she darted down the aisle, yelping as she felt the veil stuck in her hair give way a little. She reached up to secure it, and nearly tripped over the cheap dress. Rob caught her, and then they were laughing again, spinning the rest of the way, to the intolling organs and a bored looking for-hire officiant at the other end. When they arrived, she was out of breath, but grinning. She flashed her ring at the officiant. “Pretty, innit?” “Beautiful,” deadpanned the very bored bloke. She wondered if this place paid more than McDonalds or Starbucks. Hmm, back-up options for a career… “Ahem. We are gathered here today--” “Wait! Rob, play my dad for a second. You gotta give me away.” She said and elbowed him in the side.

ROB “Right, o’course,” said Rob without a moment’s hesitation. He darted back down to the end of the aisle. The rent-a-preacher stared at the both of them. Rob extended his arm out to Andrina and did his very best JEFF Triton impression. “You look beautiful, darling,” he said, making his voice deeper which wasn’t necessarily how JEFF sounded, but it sounded vaguely what Rob imagined fathers to sound like. “I’m so happy that you’ve found someone for you.” He didn’t know what fathers said to daughters on their wedding days, but he imagined it went something like that. Puffing out his chest, he stomped down the aisle as the music played again. The bored pastor, preacher, random official person sighed. “Are you ready now?” he asked. Rob saluted, still pretending to be JEFF, and then took his place as Rob. He clasped his hands together like a groom in a movie, even though he was wearing a Dead Kennedys t-shirt and some old worn jeans, he pretended he was in some fancy tuxedo. “Ahem. So, like I said we are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony...did you wanna do your own vows or just do the ‘for better or worse’ bit?” “Nah I can do my own,” said Rob. He wasn’t about to say some church bullshit. He cleared his throat as the pastor bloke man person went about all the other “Andrina,” said Rob, clearing his throat. “You’re absolutely batshit and I say that as someone who’s too hard to handle for literally every person in the world I've met before. You’re sexy and fun, but you’re also my partner in crime.” A smirk here, ‘cuz that was literal eyooo. “And you know, “ Rob continued, a little more sincere now if you knew what to listen for, but you’d have to really know what to listen for in Rob’s voice. “I don’t think there’s been many girls in my life I’ve wanted to never stop kissin’ but I never wanna stop kissin’ you. I promise I’ll always be down to do something as wild as gettin’ married in this chapel and I promise we’ll never be bored. Or maybe we will be, but we’ll find somethin’. I love you — “ It slipped out and he couldn’t stop now, so he just grinned as he talked hopin’ she’d also find it like a joke (or hopin’, maybe that she didn’t). “And I’d steal a million pounds for you and you know it, babe.” “Lovely,” said the pastor, then turning to Andrina.

ANDRINA: It was a joke as they waltzed down the aisle the second time, Andrina taking long, serious strides, trying to remain smooth-faced. It was a joke as Robbie jumped to the front, smoothed a hand down his front, clasped his hands together. It was a joke as Andrina climbed up to meet him, lifting her chin before sticking out a tongue for a split second before the officiant finished his cliche, scripted speech. It was a joke as Robbie started his vows. But it wasn’t a joke for long. Andrina couldn’t trace where the slippage happened. But Rob’s smirk faded at some point and suddenly she was noticing the color of his eyes, which she’d never noticed before. She was not the type to note shit like that. That was for Tiny and Dell, even Lana to a point. Andrina only cared about how smart a boy was. If she was in the mood, she’d pick a stupid lad to get her off, finding the most embarrassing, neanderthal dirty talk a strange turn on-- like watching shitty porn on purpose. Other times, she picked someone a little wittier, who could keep up with her jabs-- good not just for the fuck, but for the foreplay. Rob was obviously the latter. She loved his mouth, kissed it plenty of times, felt it on her neck, her breasts, between her legs. She liked when he talked and when he didn’t-- when he chuckled, when he smirked, when he sucked on a lolly she nicked for him from the market. But now she was looking in his eyes and her stomach fluttered. Butterflies, for the first time, here on her wedding day. She could blame the wedding for them. Blame her veil and the fake stained glass behind Rob and the big rock on her finger. It was all just an illusion. She didn’t really feel… she didn’t actually… But maybe she did. And suddenly there was a before and an after. There was a split in Andrina’s roads. She saw it clearly, her life behind her-- a life of seven sisters, never enough space, and always drama she was obligated to participate in. She’d leave Blackpool and return to it. The idea crushed her. She was suffocating right here, right now, which is usually how she felt when a boy, any boy, looked her dead in the eye like this and told her that they liked her-- except Rob was doing that right now and all she wanted to do was fling her arms around his neck and beg him to steal her away next. Don’t make her go back to that fucking town, to all those sisters, to her shitty apartment and the dinners she had to show up to like reporting for the army, to her dead-end job, to Attina’s depression. Please, dear god, no. Her marriage was a getaway car. Rob was driving. Andrina was calling shotgun and hopping the fuck in. “I think vows are overrated,” she said. “But I promise that you are the best fucking thing that ever happened to me.” And she looked to the officiant. “Okay, say the thing.” “Oh-- that’s all--?” “Yeah. Chop chop buddy!” Andrina said with a hand wave. “This is the happiest day of my life, helloooooo!” “Er--right. I now pronounce you--” Andrina flung her arms around Rob’s neck and kissed him before he could finish.

ROB Rob kissed Andrina back, picking her up a little and swingin’ her around. And ‘cuz why do this if he didn’t do this the right way, he picked up Andrina’s legs and carried her in his arms, like they were somethin’ out of a movie or somethin’. Ha. Rob Hunt from Nottingham Orphanage never thought he’d be worthy of a movie. Not that this shitty chapel and these stolen rings and this rent-a-pastor were worthy of a movie. They were all shams, hacks, more reflective of Rob, really. But Andrina — Andrina was a real thing, better than any dumb movie endin’ because she had a wicked smile and sometimes in the morning her breath smelled and sometimes in the night she kicked, but she was smart and she never stopped, ever, and the mask Rob wore always somehow disppeared with her. Also she was sexy as fuck. He spun Andrina around a little, givin’ a bit of a woop, the gave her a proper snog. It was sticky and messy, the sort kiss that horny teenagers in the back of a car kissed. And what of it? He couldn’t wait to go back to the van and shag his wife. “Hey, uh, sorry but you’ve got to sign these forms and stuff,” said the rent-a-preacher, holding up some papers. “It’s real quick, I promise. Sorry shoulda done it before but — “ “Yeah, yeah, just bring it here,” said Rob, dropping Andrina down and grabbing the pen to quickly sign because, okay, the primary thing on his mind right now was sex.

ANDRINA: Andrina was also thinking about a car-shag-- a back-of-a-van shag, actually, was more accurate. Her thighs were already trembling, desire as hot as the rest of her blood. If she stepped back from herself, she’d maybe realize it was the adrenaline from what might have been some kind of mental breakdown or dissociative episode. Because, her! Andrina! A wife! Honesty, this was her most brilliant joke yet. Wait until she told her sisters. (This thought instantly led to a short-circuit, and the Nyan Cat Video played on repeat.) First though, right. Paperwork. This was another chance for Andrina to rewind this whole insane episode and decide she wasn’t going to be a wife after all. But Rob grabbed for the pen without hesitating, and fuck if she was going to prove to be a coward in the last ten seconds of the biggest Andrina-prank ever concocted. Plus, she got bragging rights, she supposed, being the first sister to ever marry. That was kind of a fucked up thing to think. But it’s true, went the little voice in her head. As Andrina signed her name with a flourish, something very pleased inside her stretched itself out and started purring. A smile slid across her face. No one thought it’d be you, Andrina. Yeah, maybe this is a mental breakdown. Or maybe you finally found out who you’re supposed to be. “Should I take your name?” Andrina said as she straightened up. She wiggled her veil off so she could plop it on Rob’s head instead, stepping forward to adjust it carefully. “Andrina Gardner. But that isn’t even your real name right? Well, that’s kind of hot. A fake-new last name. Or maybe you can take my last name-- it can be your new fake name. Or like, fake-real name. Rob Triton.” Her eyes moved from the veil down to his own. She smiled. It was her softest smile of the whole night. “What do you think?” ROB Rob had no attachment to his name. He slipped on and off his name like it was a scarf of some sort. Sometimes he forgot Robert Gardner wasn’t a real person; sometimes he forgot Robin Hunt was one. Sometimes, he forgot that once he went by Oliver and also that was his legal middle name. “Well, you can’t marry Robert Gardner ‘cuz he ennit real,” said Rob, cheerfully, tossing the veil over his shoulder. The rent-a-pastor looked massively confused, but Rob paid him no mind. It’s not like this bloke was gonna do a deep investigation into Robert Gardner. That name was so common, Rob had chosen it for a reason. Sometimes Robert Gardner felt more real to him than Robin Hunt. Robin Hunt was a name chosen by a system, a name written on paperwork and run through computers. A name he’d shed because the baggage of being Robin Hunt was too heavy for him to carry. A name he sometimes felt guilty about leaving behind. But he needed to pick up new ones. He had to keep evolving. Stay still and he’d die. He looked at Andrina now, his mouth cocking up into a smile. “But I can marry Andrina Triton. I’ve never had a real name of my own, so I might as well take yours, yeah? I don’t need to be Robert or Robin. Just Rob. Time to reinvent myself — “ He took the paper and signed Rob Triton with a flourish. “There we go — who’d thought you’d make a new, honest man outta me, eh?”

ANDRINA Andrina stared down at Rob Triton and felt something. That something didn’t have any name that she knew. It tickled, and if she thought about it too much, she suspected it might feel a little bit like heartburn. Here’s what she did know: that something made her want to take this piece of paper with Rob Triton written on it, tear it up into pieces, shove it into her mouth, and eat it. That’s how much she loved seeing it written out like that, the idea of not belonging to Rob at all-- but him belonging to her. Instead of giving into her weirdo, paper-cannibalistic desire, she swept up the paper, folded it neatly and then reached under her dress, hiking the whole thing up. She hadn’t taken off her jeans, see. So she could just slip the paper in the back pocket. She let the dress back down and then slipped her arm through Rob’s own. “Okay Mr. Triton. I think we need to consummate our marriage,” she winked at him. The officiant grimaced. “Chill out, we won’t do it here,” Andrina said and giggled. “We have a very on-brand sex van. Let’s make the most of it. Maestro, play the wedding march!” “We don’t really do that on the way down the aisle…” “Nevermind!” Andrina exclaimed and she tugged Rob down anyway-- and together they skipped their way back out into the early hours of a Blackpool morning.

#rowdy and randy #para

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queen-of-hearts92 · 6 years ago

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Revue Starlight 4: Where in Tokyo is Hikari Kagura?

BANANA, IN PAJAMAS, IS VERY BANA-NICE!

For the previous episode go here!

To go to the start of these posts, go to the Prelude!

Sup everyone, this week we have a what is known as a breather episode. It’s a break to get to know everyone more pretty much! But it was still a good time! Like wow, even the breather episodes are fascinating! Ok! Here we go!

Quick note: I discovered Claudine’s nickname is Kuro, given by Karen it sounds like, so I’ll probably use that from time to time. So Kuro=Claudine, now you know and won’t be confused when I call her that being like “who the fuck is Kuro?”. Odd her image color is orange but her nickname means black and theres no orange on her stage outfit. Eh, whatever.

>Guess who watched the stage play?

Recently I decided to go ahead and watch the stage play, it was a chinese sub (I’ll link ya to it if you like, just message me) so while I couldn’t gather a ton of info I did gather some interesting shit. First off, the stage play story and the anime story are quite different from each other as far as I could tell. So don’t worry too much about spoilers, the show is very quick and compressed pacing wise for example. Ok so first off, remember the mystery names in the cast list on the bottom of the fan translated website? In the stage show there are three teachers overseeing the fights, I only know one of their names so the other two I’ll call Red Jacket and Yellow Sweater.

Red Jacket seems to be a gym teacher of sorts, Yellow Sweater is a music teacher. Yellow Sweater dislikes the fights right away while Red Jacket gradually gets more and more uncomfortable with the kids fighting. The third teacher is the most important one, she’s in charge (might be the headmaster of the school) and orchestrating the whole thing. Her name is Souda Haseda, the girls call her “Souda-sensei”, and I really think its very likely she is going to be in the anime. So we are probably gonna get a face to the system! Good, this will be exciting!

Second thing here, in the stage version it seems like the audition duels magically jack up the girl’s aggression and worst possible traits A LOT. This way they fight each other and its, wild. You can break out of the influences but man does it hit hard! Examples being Maya being really bloodthirsty (my curiosity of the play started cause I saw a screenshot of her stabbing Claudine, don’t worry Claudine is fine its not really mentioned or has consequences as far as I can tell), Nana’s aggression is fuckin nuts, and Hikari starts taunting her opponents and during a fight with Mahiru she knocks Mahiru the fuck out! Like holyyy shit Hikari!

And they snap out of this blinding rage when the duel ends but the winners go right back into it once their next duel starts. Like when Maya beats Kuro she isn’t happy, no. She’s upset and has this look on her face that says “I won but at what cost?”. And then the next fight she’s right back into stabby time. I’m not describing everything cause you could see it for yourself but wow man. I actually don’t think any of this stuff about the auditions will be true in the anime but I think the underground stage is probably set up to egg everyone on into wanting to fight each other. Yikes.

-The word Kirin was used in the musical, and I think it was referring to the mythical animal. I’m thinking I’m right about my theory of what Giraffe is! But there's still a lingering question, if Kirins are supposed to be beings of good luck and fortune why is there one associated with a game of misery and conflict? Hm. The mystery continues.

--Also btw, I tried to see if Souda-sensei’s name meant anything but I couldn’t get anything to make any sense. All I know is her name involves running and feathers and maybe camels and gauze or something silky? I got running away/escaping, going fast. Idk, it’s this 走駝紗羽 (and I’m pretty positive her name is written this way) if anyone wants to give it a go themselves. I’m not an expert at all so maybe you’ll find something I missed.

Alrighty that’s all I gotta say on the play! Glad I watched it, still don’t know what’s gonna happen in the anime tho lol. Yay surprises!

>*Carmen Sandiago theme intensifies as the ep summary starts up*

The episode starts with baby! Hikari and Karen watching the Starlight play. The roles are filled by all the girls doing a repeat of the stairs from episode one. Teen! Hikari and Karen are playing the two goddesses, just like we saw Maya and Claudine do in the flashback last episode. The pink star shines brightly as it did last time we saw this play.

Y’ALL I ALREADY WARNED YOU ABOUT THOSE STAIRS!

After Hikari and Karen’s characters reach for the star, they are each on a raised platform. And then, THEN THE STAR BLASTS KAREN’S CHARACTER IN THE FACE AND SHE DIES. Yeah. Anyways Karen’s platform goes down while Hikari’s goes up and sand rains down from the sky onto Hikari’s character who is crying. Notably the tower that held the star is empty.

Twinkle twinkle little star, IT WILL UNLEASH THE WRATH OF GOD!

Now we are in the present, its the next day. Karen wakes up and notices Hikari isn’t there. So she proceeds to run around the dorm barging into all the rooms looking for Hikari. She wakes up Nana and Junna, looks around the bathing room while Maya is there, and startles Claudine into speaking French while she was looking at photos of Maya dancing on her tablet….Which is for researching Maya’s dancing of course, and for no other reason even though she hides her tablet screen so Karen can’t see the photos. Research purposes only!

After this show is done I might do a best screenshot compilation post. This will be one of them, it’s priceless.

We then go to the living room where we find out Karen woke up Futaba and Kaoruko and the two are on the couch looking very sleepy. Everyone else is also there and being like “God dammit Karen, she’s been doing this all morning!”. Karen runs into the living room, sad she didn’t find Hikari anywhere in the dorm. Nana asks if Karen tried calling her and Karen is like oooh yeah phones are a thing. She thanks Nana by combining her nickname with the word nice getting the amazing phrase “Bana-nice” and floofing Nana’s pigtails. Nana likes this.

Karen calls Hikari and asks where the fuck she is, Hikari doesn’t say anything but Karen can hear a train station and is like “wtf are you off campus?! You need a notice! Curfew is at 6!” but Hikari hangs up. Karen decides to go and find her. All the girls (including sleepy Kaoruko draped over her gf like a sloth) follow Karen to the door. Futaba is like uh are you gonna get a notice? Junna reminds Karen it's her turn to clean the hallways. Karen is like, sorry I gotta go find Hikari! Karen runs to the train station but no Hikari. She sends Hikari a text and Hikari response with the best emote known to man. And no translation needed honestly.

Hikari won’t hesitate bitch!

Eventually Hikari sends a picture of herself in front of a, blurry blob. Karen guesses a rock climbing wall, its wrong. Karen runs around and asks a little girl what she think it is and the girl thinks its jellyfish. Karen runs to a aquarium, its the wrong one. Hikari sends another jellyfish picture and Karen races out to the train. Btw Hikari has her roller suitcase with her the entire time. Anyways, Hikari is in another aquarium but Karen is tired so she sits in a train station. Hikari then finally texts words instead of jellyfish photos, she asks why did you lose. Karen replies saying that Maya and her aren’t on the same stage (as in she means Maya is much stronger than her), if you could even call it a stage that is. Hikari calls her an idiot. Karen then asks well what should she have done then?! Hikari responses with, I don’t know. She wonders what should they do. Karen decides to call her and this time Hikari picks up and responds! She asks if Karen remembers “their Starlight”.

Back on campus, Futaba and Kaoruko are chilling in a training room. Kaoruko complains about having to wear school uniforms/school wear while in the school building. She then brings up the audition duels, she is surprised Futaba is in them and didn’t talk to her about doing that. She wonders if the prize of being Top Star is real. Kaoruko says “aw man that means we gotta fight one day, but you’ll let me win right?”, Futaba doesn’t give an answer. Instead she slides Kaoruko off of her lap. This is fine. Just fine.

Anywho Kaoruko is then like, I got an idea! She starts skipping towards the teacher’s office with Futaba right behind her. Yeah she’s gonna go tattle on Karen and Hikari being off campus without permission cause then less rivals for Top Star, don’t ever trust the sleepy ones you guys. Luckily Mahiru stops them in their tracks saying she’s the goddess of the hallway while pointing with and spinning her baton. Mahiru says she senses wicked intent from them, and figures out Kaoruko’s plan right away and does a great impression of her. Kaoruko tries to be like “uhhh no we weren't gonna. Do anything like that.” Mahiru then aggressively spins her baton at them until they run away. Mahiru then dramatically laments that she’s jealous that Karen was chasing Hikari and not her.

ALL HAIL THE HALLWAY GODDESS! PROTECTOR OF THE IDIOTS!

Back with Karen and Hikari, Karen is like ofc I remember our promise! Then the two have a long much needed catching up talk while they individually wander around Tokyo for the rest of the day. Eventually Karen talks about how much she loves the stage and wants to go even higher, hence she’ll keep doing the audition duels. Finally, at night, the two meet in person at the lit up Tokyo Tower.

Meanwhile, we go to Claudine practicing dance. She’s been doing so for awhile. Maya then comes the fuck in and asks if she wanted to dance with her. They turn on sweet jazzy music and they dance. Maya comments that Claudine seems all psyched up again and Claudine says that Maya tends to fire her up and Maya is like “orly? Cool” (Maya don’t be coy you already knew that). Claudine asks “So, why the hell are you even IN the auditions in the first place? It’s not like you need em, you’re already take center stage with everything!” Maya playfully says she gets jealous is all. They finish their dance with Maya dipping Claudine, she says the idea of anyone having the Top Star besides herself makes her very jealous. What Maya is really saying is she wants Claudine to challenge her and try to take the Top Star, Claudine smiles and calls her greedy. Challenge accepted.

Maya is NOT subtle with her crush at all, it’s amazing.

Back with Karen and Hikari, they try to go to the aquarium that’s under the tower but sadly its closed for maintenance. The two sit in a park nearby the tower, Karen is like “its okay we can always come together here again!” Hikari then finally talks about the audition duels. She says if you lose too many times and get booted out, you will lose the most important thing to a Stage Girl. Damn.

Karen is like ooohh that's why you locked me in a shed, but she points out that not going to the duel meant she’d lose by default and Hikari very obviously didn’t think of that. Karen, running up a slide, is like Hikari don’t worry I won’t lose anymore! She’s gonna be shining! She will shine with Hikari! Hikari points out there's only one Top Star and Karen is like uh Giraffe never said there couldn’t be two! Not a bad point. Hikari is like dude thats not gonna happen but Karen is like let’s try anyways. Hikari is like, ok. And joins her on the top of the slide. They stand together holding hands, the tower glowing softly nearby.

They say if a couple witnesses the turning off of Tokyo Tower’s lights at night, they will stay together forever......uh. It’s still on. Uh oh.

Meanwhile at the dorms, their teacher is checking if all of them are there so the girls gotta cover for Karen and Hikari. When their teacher checks the room, Mahiru is like oh they tired so they went to bed early. Kaoruko and Futaba are being body doubles in Karen and Hikari’s bed. However because they didn’t use pillows like most kids in media do, now Kaoruko and Futaba’s room is being checked and they ain’t there. Everyone is thinking fffucck.

So, to allow the gfs to sneak back to their room, Maya and Claudine join in to help their dumbass friends/floormates. Claudine’s brilliant idea is to stage faint and start rambling random words in French, Maya catches her and is like “oh nooo. She fainted!” the teacher runs over asking what happened and Maya says, what's most likely the first thing that popped up in her head, “She’s got, stage fright!!” I’m. You guys.

Anyways, Futaba and Kaoruko sneaked back to their room door while the teacher’s back was turned. The teacher turns around and sees them by their door. Maya very quietly asks Claudine how long she was gonna lay there rambling in French, so Claudine springs up and is like “HEY I’M FINE NOW!” The teacher is like, well alrighty then. After she leaves, Nana is like “wow i’ve never done that before….but Bana-nice!” Junna is like let’s NEVER do this again.

This goes to show. Top of the class or not, teenagers are teenagers.

The next morning, Mahiru is waiting on the stairs in front of the dorm and sleeping. She wakes up and sees Karen and Hikari walking towards the dorm. She’s like YAY THEY’RE BACK! Junna and Nana come outside while everyone else looks out their windows. Junna is like “WTF What were you two thinking?!” Turns out they ran out of money so they couldn’t take the train back, oops. Karen is like, it’s cool we got back at 6. Junna groans and is like 6PM not AM! Junna scolds them and Nana says Junna did Karen’s cleaning duties for her, Junna blushes. Karen gets emotional, apologizes, and hugs Junna, much to Mahiru’s dismay.

Then, because these useless lesbians were outside shouting about covering for Karen and Hikari, the teacher rides by on her bike and is like Karen and Hikari come to the office later and bring all those who covered for you too. Yeah she found out, oops. She says they will get “the legendary punishment” and rides away. Junna is like fffffffffuck I’ve heard horrible things about that! Rumor has it that it has caused students to leave the school all together! Karen is like, fuck. Uh, it’s fine! We’re all in this together. Junna is dying squirtle.

But, she says she’s glad they are safe. Then all the girls tell them “Welcome back”! Hikari is obviously touched by this. The girls go back inside for breakfast. Hikari puts her new stuffed jellyfish next to her bear and the episode ends with the ending theme being sung by both Hikari and Karen.

Let’s face it, getting the jellyfish alone was worth going out for!

>Even the breather episodes have a lot going on!

-Odd to mention now I know, but I love how they draw bangs in the show! They so flippy and cute!

-Also fun fact, the white bear Hikari has everywhere is an in universe mascot character called Mr. White. Hikari loves this mascot so much its on her stage uniform!

-So Hikari straight up leaves the dorms this episode and I think the reason is this, she realized Karen only auditioned cause she was there. If she wasn’t there Karen would’ve never auditioned, so her quest was doomed from the get go. So she leaves hoping Karen would now stop dueling since she isn’t there. But what Hikari underestimated was how much Karen cares about her, she didn’t expect Karen to call her or go looking for her. Hikari at this point is at a loss of what to do, the reason why she came in the first place was a failure. Hence she wanders looking at jellyfish, avoiding Karen since she didn’t want to admit how she felt and that she fucked up. But Karen got it out of her via texting and they finally spoke extensively to each other. This was a good step for them! Looks like Karen convinced Hikari, for the time being, of getting Top Star together!

But is it really such a good idea?...Dunno yet.

-I love that sleepy Kaoruko just drapes herself onto Futaba like Futaba is a big old pillow and she is a sleepy sloth. Very cute girlfriends. Though, there was very strong foreshadowing here that their relationship will be strained thanks to the duels. Futaba isn’t going to just let her win, her silence after Kaoruko asks her that just proves it. Good luck dear lesbians.

-I can’t believe Claudine “I keep photos of Maya dancing on my tablet just for observing her dancing and not because I think she’s hot or anything. JUST FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES!” Saijo is fucking canon. I made a joke of that nature in my last post but then this really happened! I’m SO pleased. Also Karen startled her so much she reverts to speaking French lol. Kuro is the living embodiment of the “600 photos fly out of pockets” meme I swear. I really like her, she’s great!

-Nana’s reaction to Karen fluffing her pigtails was very cute. She is very cute.

-Junna with her hair down is very cute yes but oh man this screenshot of her being startled awake is the funniest fucking thing oh my god. I can’t decide if she was dreaming of titty or if she was ready scratch the face off of whoever came into her room lol.

-I love how comfortable the 8 girls are with each other? Like not all of them are best friends or anything they are just used to living with each other, I assume they’ve been living with each other since their 1st year. And yeah you just kinda get used to any weird shit your floor mates do. We got a good look at that this episode. Karen is running around looking for Hikari and she’s comfortable with everyone enough to barge into people’s rooms and any other room and be like “HAVEYOUSEENHIKARIISSHEINHERE?!”. Also it is funny seeing Karen burst into every room in the dorm like that. She even startled Maya lol. Karen pls.

It kinda gives me flashbacks to when I was in theater and summer camp lol, er not the running into the bathroom while someone was there part tho.

--Also Karen, why do you keep looking under places that Hikari can’t possibly fit or hide in? Unless Hikari is a cat, if she can get her head through she can get in. Maybe, she is a cat. *X Files music*.

-Being Mahiru is still suffering. Like damn it’s suffering! Karen didn’t even really talk to her getting back from the big city. She looks so sad when Karen hugs Junna and not her. OUCH. Currently I’m putting my bets on us losing Mahiru first, she’s the odd man out and that would hurt Karen greatly and up the stakes a lot. Either way it’s only a matter of time b4 she mcfreakin loses it now, and judging by some episode five screenshot teaser that might come soon. SPEAKING OF WHICH!

--THIS. OK. WHAT. IS. THAT. WHITE. THING?! IT HAS AN EYE?! AAAAA?! Is it a prop?! Is it real?! Is it a lovecraftian horror?! What?! Whatcha got in store for us episode 5?! I’m excited and scared at the same time.

-What’s very interesting is that Karen wasn’t sleepy or tired this episode even though it’s post duel. I’m thinking her drive to find Hikari overrode everything else, amazing. The power of gay love!

-When Claudine suddenly dropped to the ground, for a hot second I was like WHAT IS SHE OK but then I realized it was a distraction. Shout out to Maya for just going with it, catching her and everything. Also well well Kuro it looks like you trust Maya enough to catch ya when you stage faint. :3c

Anywho what cracked me up the most was how slapped together their distraction was, like you guys you’ve been actresses for awhile now and this is the best you can do? Guess they aren’t one for improv lol. I’m honestly glad it went this dumb cause it goes to show that even the top students are still teens, covering for their idiot friends/floormates. I am also happy they took part in this hairbrained scheme, I’ll say more about this later.

-Hikari says when you get booted out of the duels you “lose the most important thing to a stage girl”. Well that’s really vague Hikari. Either she is still withholding information OR that is all she knows. I got the impression in the stage play she was Souda-sensei’s spy/agent to get people to fight, can’t say if that’s true here though.

-Kaoruko omg. I knew she had a secret mean streak but wowww. The good news is she isn’t very sneaky about it, nor is her girlfriend, so Mahiru easily stopped that shit in its track. I still love her though, Sailor Neptune's spirit lives on and is as passive aggressive as ever!

-The Venus de Milo statue didn’t pop up this episode, but that’s likely cause we weren’t on campus very much this time. The pink light was still everywhere like usual though. Also we learned the school has free practice days! That’s neat.

-Hey Maya, I don’t think saying ominous things about the audition duels while dancing is how you flirt with a girl. Granted it looks like it worked? Weirdos. And I told ya guys, Maya really loves dancing with her. She went out her way to do so this episode! Also good to know Maya always smiles at her when they dance even if no one else is watching so her smiling isn’t performative. And man, I’ve noticed Maya seeks out Kuro and only Kuro instead of hanging out with anyone else. That girl has got it bad.

--Maya hun, did you learn all your flirting tactics from the theater? I think she did, amazing.

-Honestly I’m loving Kuro and Maya’s dynamic more and more each episode, they are actually really adorable? Kuro is in deep denial while Maya is like “That’s ok, take your time. :)”. In the meantime she’s here to impress and think “She’s so pretty when she fights and when she dances and when she-” and so on and so forth.

However like with everyone else’s relationships, their relationship is going to end up strained thanks to the audition duels. Right now, Maya very firmly believes that being a Top Star means being alone. Throwing everything and everyone away, no matter what. But that begs the question, how will she handle it when it’s Kuro’s time to get booted (I think Maya and Karen will be the last ones standing)? I don’t mean just losing, being kicked out of the duels all together.

If my theory on radiance aka ability to perform on the stage is the thing taken is correct, than that means Maya can’t dance with her or see her fiery passion for the theater anymore after she’s kicked out. When that time comes, will she really be ok with leaving Kuro with nothing and standing alone? Ha ha, what if Maya knows they have limited time together so she’s trying to have as much time as she can? Ahaha...oh I just made myself sad.

-Speaking of Maya and Kuro, those two are a lot different than I expected. Way nicer and for sure not so above it all. They are just teenagers like the rest of them. I really love how different Maya is off the stage, when fighting/on stage she is very intimidating and seems all powerful. But when not she is, very respected and talented yes, but she is just another girl in their class. Maya isn’t an asshole to her classmates like you’d expect most characters like her to do, and like I said she obviously enjoys dancing with Kuro even though they are rivals.

Kuro on the other hand could’ve been like your average rich bitch character but nope! She's actually very chill and playful with everyone not named Tendou Maya, hell she even has a nickname, all of her intensity goes towards Maya instead. And ofc her deep denial about how she feels about Maya. It's very fascinating and I love it, I love them. They could’ve easily been the stock popular snobs/jerks but they aren’t, they are much deeper than that. And that’s wonderful!

-How odd that Claudine is asking Maya why she’s even in the underground duels and says that Maya “doesn’t need them”. So does that mean these fights are for girls who are desperate to get to the top and feel there’s no other way? If so, then why is Maya there? Maya herself doesn’t give an actual answer. Hm.

-The curfew for the dorms is 6pm apparently but the duels obviously go way past that time and into the night. So there’s at least two possibilities here. One, the school is very much in on it so the curfew is null and void for the girls who fight that night. Or two, the dueling does indeed take place in a dream world or dreamlike world. The question is when do the girls enter it? How does the elevator work then? Do their real bodies go with them? Are they just teleported back into their beds afterwards? Or a mix of both, school is in on it and there’s some magic shit going on? Like the school knows but the audition duels are in a dreamlike place is what I mean. HM. There is so much we don’t know about the duels honestly. What are they hiding? And, how much do the Stage Girls really know?

--I’m thinking that it’s likely the duels are taking place in a dreamlike world, that would line up with Karen waking up in bed after them and line up with the girls being tired the next day. However I must point out that even if the audition duels do take place in a dreamlike world, it doesn’t make it less real. No the experience is very real it just takes place in a dreamlike reality (think like in the movies Inception or Paprika). The Stage Girls remember the duels and no these aren’t just normal auditions, we have zero evidence suggesting that still so I’d say get that idea outta yo head.

I’m also thinking any wounds or hell even dying would all be temporary, like you’d wake up and you are fine physically. However emotionally not so much, you’d remember the experience of either dying or killing someone and that will probably fuck you up a bit, shit. And I think there is a way to die but it maybe only the Revue itself can do that. I’m guessing losing will really scramble your brain in some way. Oh dear.

-We see more of the Starlight play, so the summary I got right now for the plot of this play is this. Once upon a time there were two goddesses, they loved each other very much. But they both wanted to reach for a light high up in the sky, a star. So together they leave their nymphs friends (Idk are they nymphs or what) behind, and they go to the star. Both goddesses reach for the star but, the star fired a laser beam and shot one of the goddesses out of the sky. The other was being pulled into the star, unable to go back for her lover. So she turned her into sand to spare her a horrible death. They were forever separated, their dream could never come true. The End! Soooo this foreshadowing makes me nervous for the girls, I’ll talk about it more in the speculation part.

--Quick note here, I learned that the names of the two goddesses in the play are Claire and Flora. Now Flora is a latin name that means flower and is the name of the Roman goddess of flowers and plants. Interestingly, the school’s symbol is a flower! Or looks like one to me at least. Claire is also a latin name and it means bright, clear, and….famous. Hm, I think I’m gonna assume Claire is the goddess who didn’t die. Could be wrong though.

>IMMA FIRING MY SPECULATIONS! RAWR!

(Is that meme considered old now?)

-So is the legendary punishment legit or was their teacher just fucking with them? I suspect if it is, and if we see it, the punishment isn’t as bad as it’s rumored to be. If it is, maybe it's like the stage play. In the stage play, because Karen was late to class too many times I think, the girls got thrown into the fighty Greek Chorus hell pit. Most of them without weapons, at least Maya and Kuro went for using their bare hands instead. Wow. Death by greek chorus, what a way to go.

-I’m thinking that starlight equals radiance aka talent. The starlight gatherers thing I pointed out last week would match up to this idea.

-The penalty of losing too much in the auditions is that something important to Stage Girls is lost. I strongly think what they lose is their radiance aka starlight. Basically all their abilities they can use to perform. Maybe even weakening their bodies? My current thought for the truth about being Top Star is that Top Star is given all the radiance of the girls who lost, maybe used as a battery by the tiara but even just being given all the radiance is painful too. You’d be alone at the top, all your friends are gone and you’ve literally taken away everything they had. Basically the winner doesn’t even win, the only winner is the cruel system.

So I got two ideas of where this could go, one is that the girls who lose become shells of their former selves after losing their starlight. Blank eyes, not very active, that kind of thing. And maybe the effect can be resisted for a little while but it will come for you in the end. And maybe it could even cause you to fade away into nothing but pink light....which is all over this anime. UM. OH GEEZ.

The other idea is that, the stage literally steals you away. If the idea is to give all the radiance at once to whoever the Top Star is, storing the losing girls would work too. Like the stage basically catches the losing girl, drags her under or upward (or even stage left or right) and then the girl is put in a deep sleep pretty much. They sleep in coffins or boxes until there is a Top Star, then they will be taken out and drained. This could be a good way for the school to not have to deal with zombie like girls, they can just say they are sick. Not like the other Stage Girls can tell anyone otherwise. What happens afterwards can’t say I know really. Could go with them fake joining the Starlight group like in my theory. Or they just bury whats left of the girls under the stage. Shit.

-Heres a theory that came to me while I was watching the stage version, the Starlight story isn’t made up. The myth is real. The goddess that lived is among them, maybe as the head teacher Souda-sensei? That would explain all the goddess symbolism, specially love goddesses because this one lost her lover and so did Inanna and Venus. It might also explain our Qilin, he is loyal to her.

So if the goddess is real why is she here? Well, I think she did indeed take the star and stored it away. However, this goddess has become cruel. She had seen other women with their best friends and their lovers and became angry. Why do they get to keep who they love the most and she had to lose hers? So maybe this is a recreation, she might just be a goddess who loves theater and sees it as a good way to lure girls. She puts the same number of girls as there were goddesses or goddesses and their nymphs idk. They fight for the Top Star, fighting friends and lovers alike. And the girl that wins gains the star powers, but now she’s alone and she lost everything else. Just like the goddess herself, another lonely star.

>Bana-nice!

This was a nice breather episode! Got to hang with the girls more, got some more foreshadowing, got some more gay, it was fun! And it gave the animators a break! It looks like episode 5 is gonna be a doozy though, oh boy.

See you on the stage for episode 5!

#shojo kageki revue starlight #revue starlight #moo watches revue starlight #shoujo kageki revue starlight

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yakumtsaki · 7 years ago

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There’s no easy way to say this so I’m just gonna come right out with it: welcome to the most morbid post in Union history. Half the family is getting wiped out in a single update and I don’t mean to point fingers, but it’s 100% Wyatt’s fault. I really need someone to blame so don’t dare try to take this away from me.

Back to the present and not the corpse-filled near future, we actually have some money to spend on our spawn for the first time ever, so Shajar gets a non-completely-depressing room. No more eating from the cat bowl for our kids!

..spoke too soon.

-Is it still there, is it still there??

-YES omg it just looked right at me! Vic! I’m scared!

-Don’t make eye contact with it you fool! Don’t you have any idea about how children work??

After not getting promoted for an eon, Jojo is suddenly killing it, two promotions in a row!

-I know, I was starting to fear I’d be one of those geniuses who are only recognized after death- UGH, what is that obnoxious sound?

That’s your infant child screaming because it was abandoned on the cold hard floor the entire night.

-Oh ok, so standard parenting. For a minute I thought something was wrong.

-There, there, you’re alright. Ok.. OK seriously, stop. God, have some dignity for once in your 12-hour life. Crying in public is so embarrassing.

-NEEEEEEO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yup. I’ve been so focused on feeding Victor and Alegra’s ancient asses from the bowl of life that I forgot Neo was an elder too, so he’s the first to go even though he’s way younger than them, great job @ me. Goodbye Neo 💔 You were such a good boy, our cat heir, and an integral part in achieving Komei’s life-ruining LTW. You will be sorely missed.

..Apparently by your archenemy Victor most of all. Vicky casually walked off the lot the minute Neo died with no notifications about running away, only to return on his own shortly after. Wtf is going on in this house.

-I had to contemplate the futility of hate.. All this time wasted trying to kill each other and for what.. It's a sunrise and a sunset from a cradle to a casket.

Yea or this lot is already glitched as fuck and it’s only generation 2. Good times.

I was very bummed out by Neo’s premature demise and not in the mood for another kid, but one peek at Jojo and Wyatt’s life bars convinced me to drop the mourning period and circle-of-life this bitch. They are extremely not getting any younger and who tf do I think I am? Someone who knows better than Mufasa?However since a) Jojo is nowhere near his 100k LTW and can’t be taking days off and b) and more importantly, I hate Wyatt, guess who’s carrying this time around!

OH COME ON

GODFUCKINGDAMMIT WYATT

-Huhu!

How the hell did this happen I DEMAND TO KNOW

-Check how your mods work in le futur, idiόt!

..well you got me there.

Jo you are ON FIRE, 3/3! Maybe we can actually complete this 100k bullshit before you’re on death’s doorstep. It’s gonna be close tho, but you know, you just HAD to get knocked up again, so that’s on you.

-No, it’s on YOU.

No, it’s ON WYATT. Let’s just not point fingers and move on, ok? Everyone is equally to blame.

-NO THEY’RE NOT

I’VE MOVED ON I CAN’T HEAR YOU

And now a section I like to call: What the entire fuck is happening. VICTORIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

-What?? I love babies :)

I legit went back and checked, can you guess how many times Victoria autonomously interacted with any of her kids when they were babies/toddlers? If you had EXACTLY ONE TIME you win..nothing. There are no winners here.

Oh. my. god.

-Stop hogging her already, I wanna feed her too!

-WELL WAIT YOUR TURN DICK. No, not you, baby bobo booboo..

We’ve had our fair share of plot twists around here but this is truly some fucked up shit. In case you don’t get what the big deal is, enjoy this little trip down memory lane aka the Victoria-Komei-parenting-hall-of-fame. Either the ‘age mellows people out’ thing applies to sims too or they got personality transplants when I wasn’t looking. Disturbing.

Of course SOME THINGS never change, no matter how life-ruining for all involved.

-Is this about my LTW, STILL? It’s been like 20 years, GET OVER IT

NEVER

Whachu doing Vic?

-Updating my will to include Komei now that I suddenly love him. Of course someone has to get cut to make that happen..

Well goodbye Daniel I guess!

-..Who the fuck is Daniel?

-I too am making preparations for when I leave this cruel world.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume they’re cat-related.

-NO, not everything is about cats! I have plenty of other interests and concerns.

Name one.

-My beloved son! I’m making sure he takes care of my cats.

Finally, this family’s excellence is starting to be recognized. It’s about time.

-Yea no, this is a recognition that you trainwrecks need all the help you can get.

UGH typical jealous hater bullshit, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

Ok, I’ve some idea what you’re talking about. Honestly what else has to happen for me to just. stop fucking throwing kid’s birthday parties? I’m pretty sure we’ve had..one that wasn’t a straight up disaster? God knows those glory days aren’t returning any time soon.

-I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m having a blast :D

Of course you are Gunther, you haven’t been sober since the third year of college.

AND SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT. ABSOLUTELY NOT. HALF ALIEN PROF ISTFG

-I’m legit fine with this :)

I legit don’t care, it’s not happening in our sacred home. Also BRIT IS RIGHT THERE JFC you’ve gotten stupid as shit.

You guys seriously, what sins am I paying for, why can’t we have ONE NORMAL NON-INCESTUOUS PARTY. JUST ONE. Daniel heartfarting over his ex, ok, not that weird. Komei heartfarting over his daughter-in-law..getting weird. Gunther heartfarting over Half Alien Prof..reaching for the chlorine to bleach my eyes and then immediately drink.

Nice, get in on that action Wyatt! We almost forgot about your long standing boner for your brother-in-law.

Happy birthday, Shajar! You’re welcome for this amazing party, pay me back by not being ugly.

..yea ok. You did your best with the tools you were given. And I mean the literal giant tools that are your parents. Hopefully Wyatt came through with his somewhat balanced personality???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN. 10 playful, 9 active and 1 nice? Literally sporting Jigsaw’s personality. I mean darling Jojo has 3 nice points and is..how he is, can’t even imagine what Shajar is gonna grow up to be like, but it’s good to know we’re moving in the exact opposite direction than intended.

-Enjoyed your kid’s birthday party, you cheating bastard? WELL PARTY’S OVER

-I may be a cheating bâtard-

-SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR SELECTIVE FRENCH ACCENT

AW Neo’s ghost making its first appearance and trying to kill Wyatt, what a sweetheart. Welcome to the party!

It was one for the history books!

-How on earth did this party suck, I had an exceptional time.

Yea that’s because you weren’t there, it’s easy to have an exceptional time away from this family. Of course I have never personally experienced it but the mind does race.

-AH at last, my article is published! Oh, editor’s pick too, ha, of course. No, wait, editor’s warning.. As requested by the legal department? Drama queens. “Horrifying views expressed.. Widely discredited.. Not endorsed in any way by this publication.. DERIVATIVE??!!” Well, I know what I’m doing this weekend.

Is it.. rewriting your article?

-Oh, I’ll rewrite it alright. IN BLOOD

Great. Speaking of blood-

-Victor’s thirst for it is back with a vengeance. We went an entire 4 days without a cat fight and I was all like ‘woo new record’ but one thing has become clear since then:

Victor didn’t go away to contemplate shit. He was waiting..plotting..training..and now the time has come for Victor 2: Reign of Blood.

-WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW??

Seems about right. Honestly Sophie is the wisest one among us because she got tfo just in time to miss THIS:

Yea, unsurprisingly fucking Damien here is one vicious screamer. WHAT DO YOU WANT

-YOUR SOULS

Good luck finding any in this house.

-Who’s my cute little spawn of satan? Who is? Come to grandma baby.

-ONE SMALL STEP FOR ME, ONE GIANT LEAP TOWARDS THE ANNIHILATION OF MANKIND

Wyatt continues to do nothing of use all day and is not even getting promoted anymore due to his tragic lack of skill points. Somehow that led me to deciding he should be the one to get the genie wishes, I honestly dk wtf my problem is.

-Greetings, mortal etc etc. I’m gonna skip over the intro, you know the deal with the dealio, 3 wishes, let’s hit it.

-I was expectànt more of an Aladdin flair but c’est bien I guess..

-DON’T DARE MENTION THAT MOVIE TO ME YOU FRENCH ASSHOLE

-Um, oui, your désir c’est my command..Huhu!

-Is one of your wishes the return of your brain, because you should throw that in there.

-Non, non. C’est but one wish in mon coeur, Genié. To nevér, evér have to interact with my bébés but still have beaucoup of them.. In case you can’t tell, I am sim de famille!

-Ugh yea, that much is obvious.

-Well, your wish is granted, mortal! Let me just flick your nose as hard as I can and we’re done here..

-Pourquoi?

-Oh no reason, just for my own pleasure. Buh-bye!

-And with that, he turned into la fumée, mon cheri! Incrediblé!

-I hate my life.

That makes two of us. As in I hate your life too, my life is pretty good.

KOMEI DO YOU MIND WITH YOUR DANGEROUS CURVES, Jojo has a grueling skilling schedule to keep up with.

-So this is it. Rock bottom.

I mean, you wanted to be heir boo, you got it. It’s a dirty job.

Finally one of the Mortal Kombat cats lives up to its name! GET FUCKED VICTOR

-K.O

Well, we all saw that coming. Victor seriously, you’re like 50yo, don’t do this.

-I’m outta here for the fourth time bitches, and this time I’m not coming back! No man is an island but this cat is.

Ok, see you soon.

Wyatt’s wish is definitely coming true, he has not touched Shajar a single time yet, autonomously or otherwise! What a guy.

-I HAVE NO USE FOR EARTHLY FATHERS, THE ONE I NEED AWAITS US ALL IN HELL

It’s gonna be a long fucking generation.

-WYATT. WYATT YOU DAMN MORON WAKE UP

-Ugh Jojό, I told you, my magique protects me from all bébé interactiόn.

-DOES IT PROTECT YOUR TORSO FROM MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS

It’s a girl! I’m like why stray from a proven formula, so I name her Cyneswith after another Crusader Kings character, who did not exist irl like Shajar but was still a fire emoji empress of Britannia. Welcome to the shitshow Cyneswith! No offense, it was great to meet you, but we have some important shit to do so..have fun on the floor?

FUCKING FINALLY. It’s promotions only from now on boo!

..Which is more than I can say for some people. Wyatt seriously, can you move your useless ass up the ladder already so we can avoid having this freak in our house EVERY SINGLE DAY.

-The boy’s just following his heart ;)

Half Alien Prof you are by far the biggest pervert I’ve ever had in this game and Jojo spent his entire teenagehood trying to start a bdsm relationship with Stephen Tinker.

Well, Victor predictably died off lot, which is so on brand for him I’m not even mad. An insufferable dick to the very end, he lived to eat and to start fights with every animal he ever came in contact with. He only ever really loved Victoria. I’m gonna miss him so much.

Victor may have died, but that’s not going to stop the police department from trying to return him to us. Just remember that that place is under Wyatt’s supervision and it all makes sense.

Can hardly wait, Professional Make-Up Cop.

-I want to play a game, Alegra.

Man is someone gunning to be put up for adoption!

-Papa’s birthday présent to you, Shajar, is us finally meeting! Breathe it in, mon favori, I’ll be seeing you again on your next anniversaire!

-Wyatt I swear to fucking god, I will stab you.

Can we get this going please, I’m in NO MOOD.

Not bad at all! A pretty even mix of Wyatt/Jojo and I see you def did not get the Komei jaw, which is pretty much angels singing.

-Angels singing makes my eyes roll in the back of my skull.

You make my eyes roll in the back of my skull.

-What?

What. I didn’t say anything. Love you Shaj!

-One more for the road babe? After 50 years?

Yea. Just pretend everything that follows has a broken heart emoji before and after each word.

I dress Vic up and have her wait for Death in the living room like a lady, none of those ‘dying in the bathroom in my underwear’ deaths, befitting people like Wyatt. However ideal the circumstances as far as death goes, my heart still broke in more pieces than cats Komei has petted.

-VICTORIA UNION

-Marisa? Is that you?

-NO, IT’S-wow cool armchair, where did you get-no, sorry, you’re dying and all, let me start over..

-VICTORIA UNION, YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR WRETCHED SOUL

-What? My soul is not wretched jerkoff, the fuck you talking about?

-THAT’S JUST A THING WE SAY BECAUSE IT SOUNDS COOL, PLEASE DON’T RUIN IT

-HERE’S YOUR COMPLIMENTARY VIRGIN MARGARITA

-Virgin??? Oh god, I’m going to hell aren’t I?

-YOU WERE, BUT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER MADE SOME CALLS ON YOUR BEHALF. WELCOME TO HEAVEN

-Yes, I can taste the alcohol in this! GOING GONE, BITCHES. LATES

The stacks of simoleons DID NOT EASE MY PAIN. I do love that Daniel got the most final version of ‘and none for Gretchen Weiners, bye’ possible.

Jojo is fucking devastated and immediately rolls the want to resurrect Vic. It’s bummy af, I’m not even gonna go for the obvious oedipal jokes, he was just crying for days and days and days..

Komei, on the other hand, WAS NOT.

-Eh, I’ll be seeing her soon enough, why waste the tears.

Now that I think about it Komei has never cried about any of the cats either, I think he’s just the type of person who deals with grief by suppressing it. Whatever works.

Jojo and Wyatt are always having these fashion talks whenever they’re eating which are hilarious because I can see Wyatt being into it, I mean he’s french, but in what world is fucking nerd Jojo interested in clothing. Not even that can cheer him up now 💔

Fucking Florence, bringer of doom, returns Sophie to us and the moment she does:

Tell me how am supposed to live without you, now that I've been loving you so long, how am I supposed to live without you, how am I supposed to carry on, when all that I've been living for.. is gone 💔

FUCK YOU FLORENCE

Jfc the blows just won’t stop coming. LEAVE US ALONE WE’RE IN MOURNING

Time for Cyneswith’s depressing ass birthday which I can’t give less of a fuck about, and apparently neither can Wyatt but then again he wouldn’t even if we weren’t ~back to black.

Loving the hairstyle but it does look ridic on a toddler. Good for you for committing to your british aristocracy character tho, very Downton Abbey.

Well the Komei jaw always knocks twice and apparently we let it in this time. Are you beautiful on the inside Cyneswith?

OH. MY. FUCK. BYE. CYNESWITH YOU FUCKING FREAK

-Huhu!

NO SHE GOT THE HUHU. GOD HELP US

Cyneswith dramatically enters the toddler stage by immediately going into aspiration failure.. You can all guess where this is going.

-KOMEI UNION YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR-

-Yea yea whatever, are my cats waiting for me? If you say no I will literally kill myself.

-I DON’T THINK YOU’RE GRASPING THE CORE CONCEPT OF DEATH, BUT YES THEY ARE WAITING.

-I’M OUT. TELL THE WOLF I LOVED HIM

KOMEI 💔 I’m sorry but we will not be delivering that message.

Apparently Jojo and Komei legit bonded at some point?? I was expecting like a half-hearted sigh but instead we got sobbing-

-and this sum that does not imply ‘least favorite kid’ AT ALL.

Well you know how the old saying goes: nothing will ever replace your parents but a helicopter will come close.

Also in mourning: this breakdancer npc that randomly appeared on our lot and stayed stuck there for 2 days before I finally batboxed her into oblivion. This lot is fuuuucked y’all.

And generation 1 is officially over. Rest in peace Komei and Victoria, legacy founders, horrible spouses and somehow even worse parents. You stuck it out and were fun to play till the very end. I’ll really miss you guys 💔

#ts2 #gen 2

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 7 years ago

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Michael After Midnight - Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

Star Wars… what a series. Since the late 70s, this series has been influencing and shaping the very face of science fiction. Do you know how many movies, video games, comics, and more owe a huge debt of gratitude to this franchise? A fuckton. And be it their best or their worse, the Star Wars movies always give you something interesting to talk about.

Tonight we’re at their worst. Main series-wise, anyway.

Yes, I’m going to be go over all seven main series Star Wars movies this week, and what better place to start than the most controversial, the most despised, most reviled film in the franchise… The Phantom Menace. So many people call it one of the absolute worst films of all time and a childhood raping moment of epic proportions, and these people are stupid and I hate them. Is this movie good? No. Not really. But is this seriously some sort of unholy affront to God Himself? Hell, I probably think its bad for totally different reasons than most people as is, but the sheer level of hate this movie gets is just… astounding. It kind of reminds me of the shitsotrm surrounding The Emoji Movie, where people act like this one mediocre movie is the end of cinema itself. So as much as I’m going to give this movie shit, I’m gonna defend it too, because lord knows this movie gets more shit than it deserves.

So, what’s the story? Well, instead of telling you myself, take a few minutes out of your time and let tonight’s special musical guest Weird Al explain the plot for you! Take it away, Al!

youtube

Let me just get this out of the way first: Jar Jar Binks. He’s a dumb character. Yeah, such a bold, shocking statement there, huh? Well, I’m going to say this: as dumb as he is, he’s not even cclose to being the worst character in cinematic history. He’s not Ludlow from Pixels or the titular character of Lucy or that bitchy obnoxious old neighbor lady from Rosemary’s Baby that some people treat like one of cinema’s greatest villains… he’s just an obnoxious kiddy comic relief character with a dumb voice. He’s the Scrappy-Doo of cinema, the character who, yeah, is annoying and dumb, but has such an overblown hatedom its not even funny. Much like Scrappy, he was also utilized much better in other media, such as in the Clone Wars TV series, where his kindness is played up as well as the fact everyone around him is annoyed by his klutziness. Funny what some better writers can do, eh George?

Before I move on, I need to address the elephant in the room, that elephant being ‘Jar Jar is a racist caricature of black people/Watto is an antisemitic caricature/the Trade Federation are Japanese caricatures.’ Look, if you see Jar Jar up on that screen, see how he looks and acts, and think to yourself “Huh… that’s a black person alright,” I just… I don’t even know what to say to that. Same if you look at Watto and see a Jew; what is it that makes you thinks he’s a Jew? What about this nasty space fly screams “Jew” to you? Is it the big nose you goddamn NATIONAL SOCIALIST? Like who the fuck actually believes this shit? Some people wanna convince you this is the sci-fi version of The Birth of a Nation, but no, it’s just people with deep-rooted prejudices seeing shit where there isn’t any, as per usual.

You know what IS offensive, though? The writing. The writing here is absolutely atrocious. It’s not like A New Hope was much better in the dialogue department, but in that movie there was at least a plot you could give a shit about. Here… not so much. In fact, that’s the true flaw of this film, and the thing that ultimately leads me to calling this a bad film: in the grand scheme of things, nothing that happens in this movie ultimately effects the overall saga in any meaningful way. Sure, we see where Anakin came from, but that’s about it. There’s not really anything interesting or insightful to be gleaned from this tale, which leads it to feel like the world’s most pointless spinoff movie. There’s a reason that there’s an entire suggested viewing process for the franchise that recommends you skip this movie; nothing in this movie isn’t explained better in another film. It’s just a bunch of shit you can’t bring yourself to care about onscreen the whole time, that ultimately adds nothing but annoyance and plot holes to the overarching mythos of the franchise.

So I’ve harped on this movie a lot… it must truly be devoid of value. Well hold your tauntauns there, sonny! This movie didn’t end up on Empire’s list of the 500 greatest films of all time for no reason! There really is a lot to admire here, despite the overall package being somewhat subpar. First and foremost, we have Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jin. Sure, I could nitpick this and say how Qui-Gon’s existence can open up plot holes or whatever, but… it’s Liam Neeson as a Jedi. I don’t fucking care about any lore shit, this is motherfucking Liam “Taken” Neeson swinging a lightsaber around! Even better than that, though, is Ewan McGregor beginning his take on Obi Wan and, I’m gonna be honest… he does a damn good job. While here he’s still young and learning, he’s still every bit as awesome as he’ll grow to be someday. We’ve also got the kickass track “Duel of Fates,” one of the best pieces of music in the franchise, we’ve got that pretty cool pod racing sequence, we have the awesome droidekas and the pretty cool droids, we have Darth Maul, who is easily one of the coolest and most badass characters in the franchise, what with his dual-bladed lightsaber and the fact he looks like the devil and who has a final battle that easily makes up for a good chunk of the earlier problems of the film… there really is plenty of stuff to enjoy here. The ultimate flaw of the arguments against this movie is that people act like there is absolutely nothing of value in this film. There is, and plenty of it, it just doesn’t in the end save this from being a hot, pointless mess of a movie.

Also, I’m sure you were expecting me to trash on Jake Lloyd’s performance. Well, I’m not going to do that. What kind of fuck trashes a kid’s performance for not being as good as James Earl Jones? Like fuck, you’d think people expected an Academy Award winner performance from the poor kid.

So yeah… this one’s bad. But I’d honestly say it leans more to the “So bad it’s good” side at worst. Like I said, there’s plenty of good stuff in here, if you can stomach the cringey dialogue and Jar Jar. Watching it with the mindset that it’s a spinoff and not necessary to really get the bigger picture of the franchise can kinda help, but in the end, this one is pretty easy to just skip. At the very least, I kind of admire George Lucas for doing something so wildly new and different with the series, even if it ended up being kinda bad. It’s not like he just blatantly retreaded A New Hope and tried to convince everyone it was the Big New Thing, this is most certainly an earnest film, one that showcases his true artistic vision for the series. It’s just a pretty dumb vision, is all.

Really, if you want a rewarding experience, just spend the six minutes watching Weird Al’s “The Saga Begins” and skip right to episode two; you’ll have a much better Star Wars experience that way.

#Michael After Midnight #Review #Movie review #Star Wars #The Phantom Menace #obi wan kenobi #qui-gon jinn #Darth Maul #Anakin Skywalker #Jar Jar Binks #George Lucas #Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

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doctorwhodunit · 8 years ago

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Bloody Venus

Gajevy Week Bonus Prompt: Alternate Universe

Summary: Gajeel Redfox studies to one day become the leader of the Second Division of the Police Department, the one that deals with cases of thefts and robberies. A particular thief piqued his interest, a quirky and arrogant one that managed to outsmart the police force too many times already. Cunning as he is, Gajeel decides to join in on the fun.

You can also read it on FFnet.

"Impenetrable fortress," Macao Conbolt, the head of the police squad, said with a smirk as he looked around the room.

"The walls are made of glass," Wakaba Mine, his best friend and right-hand man, retorted beside him. "I repeat," he quipped, miming a megaphone, "we're on the building's top floor at night and the walls are made of glass for 'fanciness reasons' according to the person in charge of the exhibition. There's nothing 'impenetrable' about this place."

The dozen police officers surrounding them sighed silently. 'Here we go again' and 'Always bickering' could be heard from some of them as they faked checking some of their equipment. "Bulletproof vest, okay," one of them coughed.

Macao rolled his eyes and glared back at Wakaba. "I know they're made of glass," he snapped, "but we," he yelled proudly, opening his arms wide, "the agents of Justice with a capital J, are what make this glass room impenetrable! We are the backbone of this nation! Bearing pride in our hearts, we have one and only goal! Protect the jewels from the filthy hands of this serial thief!"

A moment of silence passed and the police officers glanced at each other with a hint of a lopsided smile on their face. They all straightened their stance and looked intensely back at their leader.

"Yes, sir!"

Macao grinned a toothy grin, proud of his men's resolve. Beside him, Wakaba snorted. "You might sound cheesy but you sure know how to boost your squad's determination," he commented earnestly. However, he didn't let him have time to smile and promptly added, "she managed to escape from us twice already though."

Macao coughed as he unintentionally choked on a ball of bitterness thinking about how easily she outsmarted them without any bloodshed. If he were to be honest with himself, he would admit verbally that her thieving skills were out of this world. Stealing gems from right under their noses without using any lethal weapon against the police to do so was not an easy feat, and yet, she achieved her deeds with utmost brilliance. And arrogance. So much arrogance. Macao seethed inwardly just thinking about it.

"This time," he replied after regaining his composure, "she won't be able to steal anything." He considered the pedestal in front of him and smirked as he regarded the jewels in the glass case. "If you touch the glass, an alarm will ring and the trap door inside will open and close fast to protect the jewels." He glanced at Wakaba who clearly had his 'I already know about the security systems, stop repeating yourself' face on. Macao reached in his back pocket and whipped out with slight arrogance his ultimate weapon. "And I've got this!"

Jealousy could be read on Wakaba's eyebrows when he contemplated what looked like sunglasses from the future in Macao's hand.

"Glasses with Iris Recognition System!" he boasted. "When I put these on, they scan my irises and it activates a mechanism inside the pedestal that allows the glass case to open automatically!" He wished he could have wiggled his eyebrows at the annoyed and jealous Wakaba who clearly had enough of him repeating himself. "This means that only I, Macao Conbolt, can open the glass case to get the jewels!"

Wakaba clenched clenched his teeth and fist and rolled his eyes. He sounded even more arrogant than the thief itself, which had the tendency to piss him off more than anything. However, a quick look at his wristwatch made him realise that he had no time to deal with this prick.

“Anyway, Supreme Leader Macao Conballs, it's almost time.”

Macao ignored the tasteless nickname he gave him, put away the sunglasses in his front pocket, and cleared his throat. “Alright! She said she'll come to steal the jewels at 10:00 PM. Only two minutes left, get ready.”

His tone of voice sounded more serious, almost grave. He was determined to capture her this time. Close to the glass case containing the jewels, Macao and Wakaba regarded their men with confidence, knowing that their presence around them and the jewels would be more than enough to take the thief down. After all, they were the elite handpicked cautiously by the head of the police departm-

“From above!” a voice cried out.

Everyone's heart skipped a beat as they all instinctively shot their head upwards in order to neutralise their oncoming threat. Their eyebrows furrowed in confusion when not even the shadow of the thief could be seen.

“What's this?” one of the men said hastily, pointing at something falling under the moonlight.

Macao squinted to see that a small metallic object was falling, and it was only when it reached eye-level that his jaw dropped as he recognised what it was. Unfortunately, it had already reached the ground right in front of him before he could say anything.

“Flash grenade?!”

Like lightning descending from the skies in the middle of a storm, a blinding light suddenly illuminated the whole room, making it impossible to see anything. Their eyes couldn't handle the glow of the powerful light, and they instantly shut close in pain. The thudding sound of the explosion had Wakaba and the other men cover their ears, and they understood quickly that for a few seconds, they wouldn't be able to move as they pleased.

“I can't see shit! Damn thief!” Macao seethed.

“Conbolt-san! Here, the sunglasses!” a voice hurried.

Macao felt one of his men's fingers on his hands as he was handed the sunglasses. A sigh of relief in this confusing situation escaped his mouth.

“Thank you!” he yelled as he put them on.

He managed to open his eyes and his forehead grew a size when he saw what was happening. A blue light passed over his eyes and he could distinctly hear a sort of gas sound near him. He recognised the sound of the mechanism right away as he was the only one to have heard it in this room.

The glass case opened.

“Damn thief used the glasses with Iris Recognition System against me!” Macao cried out in horror. “Keep calm and get closer to me, the thief can't have escaped this quickly!”

Without ease and with their eyes still blinded, his men walked towards him. However, as seconds went by, their eyesight was slowly coming back to normal. They could spot Macao throwing his glasses and Wakaba rubbing his eyes. When all the officers reached their squad leader, their jaw dropped.

“The jewels disappeared,” Wakaba gasped at the open glass case.

Macao quickly examined the room, but there was no thief to be found. “Goddammit!” he cursed with gritted teeth.

“Look!” Wakaba exclaimed, snapping Macao out of his self-deprecating thoughts, pointing at the top of the pedestal.

A neat, laminated piece of paper was placed on the cushion that supported the jewels on the pedestal. Considering the neat penmanship, it was most likely a note written by a woman. Macao took a closer look at it and gritted his teeth, always so overwhelmed by this thief's arrogance.

How about a good ol' race, Conbolt-san?

The loser owes the winner Kinder Chocolate ice cream.

“This pretentious bastard,” he hissed. “Why would you choose Kinder Chocolate when you can have Oreo Cream?”

Before Wakaba could add a snide remark to his tasteless remark – and comment on his malfunctioning taste buds – they heard a screeching car noise coming from outside.

“Must be her,” Macao said curtly. “Oh, she wants a race, we're gonna give it to her. Guys! Let's get outta here, we're taking her down tonight!”

“Yes, sir!” they yelled back.

And in no time, they all rushed down the stairs to go after their enemy.

All except one.

Because of all this ruckus, none of the so-called elite of the police department realised that one of them had stayed behind. A whistle escaped the mouth of the member of the police force, only to be followed by a rather high-pitched chuckle. A smirk tugged at the corner of the officer's mouth as he brought his hands from behind his back up to his face – said hands holding what the elite of the police department was supposed to protect.

The object was round, and there wasn't anything much special about it. Cherry blossoms of different warm colours adorned the object, all seeming to converge to one point on the round-shaped jewel. It had all the characteristics of a… button. The officer raised an eyebrow, and his thumb naturally went over the button and pressed it. He almost made the ball-like object fall when it opened, as if it were a compartment someone would put a wedding ring into. But instead of a wedding ring, the eyes of the jewel bearer lit up, reflecting a magnificent display of shine and artistry.

Beauty was truly in the eyes of the beholder.

Falkor's Ashes. Peculiar name for this dragon-shaped diamond. As if frozen, the dragon stood tall on his tail, its nest appearing bigger on the inside. The craftsmanship of this masterpiece made the officer's hazel eyes glitter in awe.

His eyebrows furrowed suddenly, and he considered the dragon's nest once more. Ashes… Ash...

“Oooooh,” the officer exhaled, “it opens like a Poké Ball.”

“That's yer first comment, really? What a weirdo.”

Startled, the 'Poké Ball' almost dropped to the ground as the officer snapped his head in the direction of the foreign voice. It came from the staircase the other policemen had gotten out from. An ominous shadow was calmly making its way up, and step by step, it felt like its confidence was growing bigger, sharper.

A hand slowly dragged itself up the banister. The officer's heart beat faster and his blood started boiling as a long mane of hair appeared across the bars of the banister. He could feel the mischievous smile of an unexpected opponent.

How exciting.

“Yo,” the deep voice said, done walking up the stairs, “havin' a nice stroll?”

From where he was and because of the moonlight, all the officer could see was a tall figure with wild, long hair. At least, he could tell he was a man, judging by his deep and raspy voice.

“Who are you? How did you get here, kid?” the officer asked in an astonishingly deep voice.

A laugh that resembled a grunt escaped the tall figure's mouth. “Well, that clearly ain't yer real voice,” he snorted. “Let's get down to business,” he grunted then, “don't waste my time, thief.”

His last word echoed around the room with thunderous strength. The weight of the word as it burst out of his mouth was like no other, for some reason it felt like he deemed his enemy worthy of this battle, even though he had already won.

A long silence lingered in the air, both of them waiting for the other to whip out his next move, but the tall figure had already lost patience.

“This ain't no silent movie so how about I do the talk for ya?” he suggested. “First off,” he exclaimed, pointing his index finger upwards, “you've got the jewel in yer hands, that's already pretty suspicious if ya ask me.”

“Th-”

“Nah-uh, you had your chance, you wasted it,” he sniped. “Second off, give a close look at the bottom of the pedestal.”

The officer looked down carefully, still confused by the sudden turn of events. He blinked once or twice before seeing a white square stuck to the bottom of the pedestal.

“It's a wireless transmitter, also commonly known as a bug,” he bragged. “I've been listening to everything that was happening since the beginning.” A smirk tugged at his lips, foreseeing what the next question would be. “Why does it even matter that you listened to what was happening? Good question!” he blurted joyfully. “When Macao and Wakaba started bickering, one of the officers faked checking their equipment and referred to it as a bulletproof vest. What a newbie mistake,” he snorted, “the police force in this country mostly use stab vests, especially when they're up against someone who's known for not using firearms, like you.”

Who on Earth are you? the suspicious officer thought through gritted teeth. By the looks of it, he wasn't one of the policemen who had left. He wasn't a policeman, period. The wireless transmitter wasn't Macao's idea or else he would already have made a move. Whoever he is, he works alone, and he's good at it.

“Thief,” the tall figure spoke, “dunno how long yer gonna stay silent but I think there's something that'd make yer mouth work a little.” His mischievous smirk reeked of confidence, and he made it seem like his eyes could see right through the suspect's every move. “Whatcha have in your hands… it's a fake.”

The suspect's hands started trembling at once, and hazel eyes shivered over what was supposed to Falkor's Ashes. Fake?! The 'elite' of the police department wouldn't protect fake jewels, this didn't make sense. How could it be a fake? No matter how you looked at it, there was no way it could be a f-

“Eh?” came the culprit's confused inquiry.

“Finally seein' it?” he snorted. “Ya've been breathing on it this whole time, right? Diamonds have high thermal conductivity, which means condensation never stays on it, it vanishes immediately. But you can see it now, can't ya?” he asked provocatively. “The condensation from yer breath is still lingering.”

A blurry reflection of a lost-for-words culprit appeared on the fake diamond. Falkor's Ashes turned out to be an omen of bad luck in the end. The wrongdoer's lips started being bitten by short and sharp teeth. Frustration was building up inside. Should have come more prepared… oh well, makes my escape more exciting. A deep breath was taken then, and a shrill, almost snobbish laugh escaped her mouth.

“I guess I reached my limit,” she muttered wistfully.

The brilliant mind who found her out watched in confusion what followed. The fake officer started to undress, one piece of equipment after another. The fake bulletproof vest came off first, and as it reached the ground, it sounded like polystyrene covered the inside of the vest. It was probably to make her look chubbier because at first glance, even though from afar and without much light, he noticed that she instantly became much slimmer. Then, she unbuckled her helmet, from which puffed out a good amount of wild hair going more upwards and sideways than downwards. What struck him the most was when she took the shoes off, it looked as if she had dropped down from the first step of a ladder. Did she just lose 10 centimeters or what?

After she finished taking off the rest of her fake police equipment, she gently put the fake jewel on the floor, and promptly kicked it aside. He snorted at the angry-looking gesture, and the fact that she was ten centimeters now only added to the comedic effect.

“Finally turning yourself in, huh?” he boasted. “The only way out is the staircase right behind me,” he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder, “so ya'd have to go through me if ya wanna escape, but I don't think starting a fight with me would be a good idea, shorty.”

As though deliberately answering his threat, the thief started walking straight to him. There was a sluggish pattern to her pace, it was slow, but it felt like she was sauntering her way to him. The effortlessness – or the smugness – of her walk made him snort.

“I like your guts,” he grunted, “what's yer name?”

“What are you going to do with it, add me on Facebook?” she sniped in a rather haughty voice.

He rolled his eyes at her boldness. “No, smartass,” he retorted sharply. “I just wanna get the name of the person who's managed to outsmart the police force way too many times already.”

Still slowly sauntering her way to him, her lips drew a lopsided smile. “You're a stranger and we've only just met,” she said with disdain, “I'm not giving you my name like that.”

With that, there was one thing he understood. Nobody could have such a haughty, nasal voice, which meant that, yet again, it wasn't her real voice. Only one reason would make her act this way: she didn't plan on being arrested tonight. However, judging by the fact that she didn't use weapons and that he was fairly confident in his combat skills, the last slither of doubt that ghosted over his mind flew away.

“C'mon, gimme at least yer nickname,” he snickered.

She raised an eyebrow. “Nickname?”

“Nickname, code name, alias, whatever,” he groaned. “Every good story needs a good old-fashioned villain, right?” He brushed his nose with his thumb and grunted. “And this story ends tonight as I, Gajeel Redfox, am the man who will arrest you.”

“What a presumptuous man we've got here,” she promptly answered, “if you want me to have a nickname, find it yourself.”

And as she uttered her answer, three meters away from reaching him and with finally enough light for them to see one another, Gajeel Redfox waved his hands in horror in front of him, stopping her in her track.

“W-wait!” he startled, clearly trying to repress a laugh. “There are way too many things to make fun of here! Where do I even start?! The fact that ya have double roller skates instead of shoes?! That you're in yer pink pajamas?! That yer backpack makes ya look like yer going on a school trip?! Or that yer mask looks like what a brat would wear at Halloween?!”

“H-how rude!” she spluttered. Her cheeks suddenly became hotter, mimicking the apparent colour of Gajeel's eyes by the moonlight. She waited a few seconds to regain her composure, trying not to fumble over her words. “It's not my fault, okay?” How embarrassing. “I didn't have enough time to put on a decent outfit because I was in a hurry! I had decided to take a nap in the afternoon and I woke up late because… my alarm clock didn't ring.”

Gajeel blinked. And he blinked again. …One more time for good measure.

“You in middle school or sumthin'?”

“I'm telling the truth!”

“Right,” he quipped. He cleared his throat then, and took a voice even deeper than his normal one. An official voice. “If you had read the School Rules & Regulations, young Miss, you would have noticed that 'my alarm clock didn't ring' isn't an accepted excuse to miss class anymore.”

What a shithead, she thought vehemently through gritted teeth. She wanted to punch him in the face for this one, though she couldn't but think that she would have laughed if the context had been different. She would probably have hurt herself doing it though, there were quite a handful of piercings on his face.

A deep breath and an eye-roll later, Levy brushed off her violent needs. “How did you manage to replace the original with a fake?”

Again. This toothy smirk of his. Not many things could rile her up easily, but this, this was infuriating. His mouth was quality punching-ball material. She had never felt that drawn to a mouth before.

“Let's say I know a guy.”

His tone of voice was surprisingly curt, as sharp as his physical features. She considered him for a moment. His features were sharp indeed, she wanted to punch him earlier but she could cut herself hitting this jawline; it was tantalizing in a away. Even the sand colour of his skin reminded her of giant rocks in the middle of a desert – jagged, perilous and rough. The worn, black – with khaki undertones – leather jacket that hung from his broad and well-defined shoulders added to the feeling that he was towering over her. And the shallow curve to his spine as he looked down at her did not help.

Her face twitched as his hand brushed his belt and reached the full pocket of his blue jeans.

“Anyway,” Gajeel Redfox muttered, whipping a pair of handcuffs out of his pocket, “turn around, I'm draggin' ya to the police station.”

She gave a quick look at her wristwatch and bit her lip. “W-wait a minute,” she stammered.

Gajeel rolled his eyes. “What now?”

“Are you sure you don't want to let me go?” she asked vainly. “It's simple, I just have to walk past you and go down the stairs, and we'll have another showdown later,” she suggested cheerfully. “Don't you like a good challenge? The thrill of the chase, the blood pumping through your veins, this sensational feeling of achievement you get when you explain how you managed to outsmart me. Don't you want to feel that again?”

“Nah I'm good,” he casually answered, “pajama girl.”

His bad habit of giving her nicknames was really getting on her nerves. Maybe she wouldn't mind cutting herself slapping his jawline after all. But she managed to put away her killing intent far, far away in the back of her mind, glanced at her wristwatch again, and breathed heavily.

“No choice then,” she muttered as she whirled around, holding her own hands behind her back.

Gajeel Redfox smirked. “There's a good girl.”

From behind, he couldn't help but think that she really did look like a grade school girl with her backpack and roller skates. And the freaking pajamas. He took a few steady steps forward and readied the handcuffs.

His eyes shot open wide in surprise when her small figure jumped up and hit the heels of her roller skates against one another.

“What th-”

BOOM!

A bright flash of light and the cracking of glass shattering snapped his head up in direction of the explosion. Right in front of him, a part of the glass wall was no more. Shards of glass bounced and scattered on the floor.

“What did y-”

Gajeel Redfox gritted his teeth in fear and backed a shivering step away from her. From underneath her double roller skates, two mini jet engines seemed to have popped out on both sides in-between the rear and front wheels.

“See you later, alligator!”

She swiftly reached down her roller skates and pressed a button, and before Gajeel could even think about getting a hold of her, a burst of fire shot out of her jet engines. It was so abrupt that she almost lost balance as she thrust herself forward.

Gajeel's mouth and eyes opened wide, and his heart skipped a beat as understanding dawned on him. “Are ya gonna jump off the window through the crack in the glass wall?! The roof of the building in front of ya is twenty meters away from here!”

I know, she thought tensely, and this building is ten meters taller than the one in front of me.

“Fucking stop!” he yelled, now desperately running after her. “Yer not gonna make it!”

She couldn't hear him. She couldn't hear his irregular and hasty footsteps behind her. She was too focused to pay attention to her surroundings, she even glossed over the fact that shards of glass could bounce off the ground as she wheeled at high speed and land anywhere on her body.

Given the size of the room, she speculated inwardly, I'll be around 40 km/h by the time I jump off the window. She bit her bottom lip nervously as she, lightning fast, thought things through. Damn, including gravity and the fact that there's a ten meter height difference between the two buildings, I'd need to go at 14 meters per second, so 50 km/h.

I need a 10km/h boost!

Without a moment's hesitation, she opened her backpack side pocket and managed to grab what she was looking for. A quick with low-medium power will do. I've got 1.42 seconds in mid-air, I can do this.

Gajeel - who tried as hard he could to keep up with her alarming speed towards her impending fall – couldn't look away from what was happening. He hated the idea that he could lose someone this way again. He tried his hardest, but he knew he wouldn't be able to stop her.

“Yer just being arrested! Don't do this! It's not worth it!” he implored in vain. “You suicidal or what?!”

She flinched, but as she almost reached the huge crack in the glass wall, she pulled the ring off of what she was grabbing onto and smiled wistfully.

“Who knows…”

And after wheeling on a few other shards of glass, she jumped over the edge. For a tiny moment, she was distracted by the weightlessness of the experience, but she snapped out of it quickly enough. There was no time for awe.

Before Gajeel saw her leaving his line of sight as she was falling, she threw what was in her hand behind her. Gajeel wasn't good in maths but his instinct was as sharp as his jawline; at the speed she went, there was no way she could reach the next roo-

BOOM!

The shards of glass on the floor shook and the earth trembled under the weight of this other explosion. Gajeel noticed it was less powerful, but he decided to walk carefully towards the shattered glass window. Glass cracked under each one of his shaky footsteps. His eyebrows furrowed as he peered down at the other building.

His mouth opened slightly and, for a moment, he stopped breathing. He brought his fingers to his eyes and rubbed them. Hard. He blinked multiple times as the knowledge of the notion of breathing to stay alive kicked in again.

“Unscathed…”

A handful of seconds after her jump, twenty meters away and ten meters below him, the thief – with her roller skates off and backpack gone – stood proudly at the edge of the roof with a defying grin tugging at her lips.

He swallowed thickly at the impossible sight.

On the other roof, the impossible thief seemed to shiver, but after she revealed what was behind her back, Gajeel Redfox's face turned green as she burst into a manic laughter.

Sitting gloriously on the palm of her hand, the Poké Ball shaped object opened, revealing a diamond dragon sitting on its tail. Falkor's Ashes.

Gajeel frantically checked his pockets, and as he looked down at her again, he shut his eyes and ran a hand through his hair in defeat.

“I started as a pickpocket,” she explained from the other side, “and you reeked of arrogance, so you must have had the jewel on you. I'll let you connect the dots!”

Gajeel bit his lip. “You stole it when I was distracted by the first explosion,” he muttered.

She didn't hear him, but she guessed he understood how he was defeated. It was good enough for her. Without giving him time to react, with a quick bow, she stepped off the edge of the roof and ran to the staircase, leaving Gajeel Redfox alone with his thoughts.

His voice got caught in his throat. He wanted to say something – anything – before she left, but she was already gone. He scratched the pocket that was supposed to keep Falkor's Ashes safe, and he clenched his fists and teeth in frustration. This damn suicidal thief! H-how –

He thought back to what happened, and a tiny moment was enough for understanding to dawn on him. He remembered she had thrown something behind her back, and a second later, the explosion happened.

“A hand grenade… no way…” He shook his head hard with scared eyes, as though trying to shake off this impossible truth. “She used the power of the detonation as a boost to make up for the lack of enough speed she needed to jump from this roof to the other…”

He froze. He unconsciously tried to imagine what was going on in her mind when she thought about this escape route. She must have thought about it the moment she took off her fake police equipment, since it was the only time where she could have set whatever she set for the first explosion. The thought of it alone made him dizzy.

A nervous laugh escaped his mouth. “What the hell…”

When he looked down at the floor, trying to find some sense of balance, something caught his eye. He decided to sit down after kicking away all the shards of glass that could have bitten him in the ass. He picked up what caught his attention.

A note.

Until we meet again, Gajeel Redfox.

- * insert nickname here *

He frowned. “Nickname?”

“C'mon, gimme at least yer nickname. Every good story needs a good old-fashioned villain, right?”

“If you want me to have a nickname, find it yourself.”

With a shy lopsided smile, he remembered. They did talk about this, didn't they?

A nickname for this woman thief, huh? A woman way too flashy for her own good. She outsmarted the elite of the police force three times tonight, and at the third time, she outsmarted him, too. She disguised herself as a policeman and used a flash grenade to make her appearance; she sure knew how to put on a show.

She was also dangerous. She took a lot of risks tonight just not to be arrested. She risked her own life for this dragon. No way in hell would someone be willing to throw their life away for the sake of an expensive jewel. She was dangerous… and it was ridiculously tantalizing. Gajeel wanted to reach out and touch her, even though he knew he could burn himself doing so.

Her light was already blinding enough as it was, she also had to be dangerous. She was dangerous to him, but she was even more dangerous to herself. He couldn't explain it, but his instinct told him that she, too, was unconsciously reaching for something that could burn her. A sun more powerful than the light she emitted.

One day, blood would splash her hands, and it wouldn't be someone else's. It would be hers.

She was a flashy woman who tried her hardest not to reach for something greater and eventually deadlier than herself.

Gajeel snorted. It wasn't like him to think this much about something, but this time was special. He reached in the back pocket of his jeans and whisked out a pen. Finally, he placed the note on the palm of his hand, brought it closer to him, and scribbled over some words.

Until we meet again, Gajeel Redfox.

- BLOODY VENUS

He left the note on the floor and stood up, deep in thought. He heard the sound of police cars outside the building, which meant they heard about the explosion. Under the weight of his footsteps heading out of the building, shards of glass – reminding him of his most exciting showdown – bent and shattered, making the soundtrack of his exit more… metal, the way he liked it.

“Don't you like a good challenge? The thrill of the chase, the blood pumping through your veins, this sensational feeling of achievement you get when you explain how you managed to outsmart me. Don't you want to feel that again?”

His devilish smirk came back.

“I can't wait.”

#gajevyweek #ftfanfics #gajevy #gajeel redfox #levy mcgarden #gajevy fic #doctorwhowrites

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clashmodsz · 6 years ago

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How to Get Legendary Cards in Clash Royale: New Methods [2019]

Gaming is one of the best sources of entertainment nowadays. Every different person has a different choice of games. Some people like racing games many are interested in action and mysterious is also very popular. Millions of game and even billions of players are there in the world. Many games are there which are popular worldwide. Like the PUBG, Need for Speed, Clash Royale etc.

Many times the problem arises that in many amazing games you need to unlock something for moving to the next level. And to get many more features in your game too. Of course, those features enhance your gaming experience and even increase your interest in the games.

In the same way, the Legendary Cards works in the clash royale. After all the legendary card is the rarest card in the clash royale. I mean who wouldn’t like the princess who has the great power and ability to shoot from half-way across all over the map, or even the bandit who has the ability of this invulnerable dash. But these are not at all easy to get these troops for free. Gaming is nowadays a trend for everyone.

Billions of people play game and friends even compares their level of games with one another. And at that time, everyone wants to be on the top level of the particular game in their peer group. Same happens in clash royale, everyone wants to get the legendary card as well. And today in this article, I am going to tell you about both the methods through which you could get the legendary cards in Clash Royale.

Basically, 2 methods are there, one is the paid one and the other is the free one. So, let’s take an overview of both the methods. And then, you could select the most appropriate one for you.

Easy Method to Get Legendary Cards In Clash Royale

Method 1: Getting Legendary cards for free

Well, free is the word which is most attractive, and when you can get the legendary card for free then what is the need to spend money? So, let’s see how we could get the legendary cards in clash royale for free.

1: The Trophies Monster:

So, the first step is to get to the arena 10, Hog mountain. You need 3000 trophies to unlock it. And when you reach it, you could buy the legendary from the shop for 40,000 gold itself. Well, I know that this is quite a lot but what you are getting is even more than that and everyone knows that it is really very important.

2: Active Clan League:

The other thing you could do is to join the active clan. The leaders and the co-leaders of the particular clan can start the clan wars, and all those players can participate in it who is 8 level and above. And then, you get the chance to battle 3 times on the collection day. Then you have to use your own cards to get the clan card. Later those clan cards could be used to build the war deck for war day.

You get one battle to fight on the war day. Out of all the 5 clans, the clan with the maximum war days victory are termed as the winners of the war. And the top two teams means the 1st and the 2nd coming team gets the clan trophies which helps them to progress through the clan league. You’ll get the war chest at the end of the war season. That war chest will be based on your clan league as well as the highest ranked war in which you have participated in.

But do keep in mind, that you must have at least 10 participants to start the war. And the main motive of the war season is that if you reach the legendary 1st league. You are surely going to get the legendary card in your war chest.

3. Keep Rolling the Battle:

Another method to earn free legendary cards in clash royale is that you must keep battling. After every battle, you get the chest, and each chest you get is the part of the chest cycle. And total 240 chests in every cycle are there. And in every 2 cycles, you could get a chance to win the legendary chest. So, if I assume that you are never losing, then you could get the legendary chest in every 480 battles.

You could also play 2 versus 2 matches, and through it, you could win the chest without even having the fear of losing the trophies. And if taking my advice then it’s better to play a 2 versus 2 match with your friends and not getting the match by pressing the quick match button. As those who play quick matches are generally unskilled and trolled. And they many times leaves the battles in between, which could even spoil your fun.

4. Complete your quest:

The quests are located in the bar which is just the next one to your crown chest. Each quest on the completion provides you with a number of points. And on getting enough of points, you could unlock another chest. If you want you could also skip a quest in every 24 hours. So, if you find any quest impossible for you to complete. Then now you know what you have to do. And there is no opening time even. And the best part is that the extra point which you will earn will be carry forward to the next quest.

5. Compete in grand challenges:

You could also compete in the grand challenges, but it has a condition, that you must be at the 8th level to compete in grand challenges. And if you are skillful enough to compete with others and to secure at least 12 wins, then it is surely going to help you to get a very good chance of getting a legendary card and also 22,000 gold for you. But let me tell you that, in these challenges, you are going to face the expert players.

Some of which are going to be the players on the top with even 6,000 trophies and more. So, you have to be incredibly amazing to compete with them and to win even. And let me tell you that you have to invest some gems to get it. As the grand challenge will cost you a 100 gems and the classic challenge is going to cost you 10 gems for joining the challenge. And you could also win the significant amount of gold through the actual chest.

6. Getting lucky with other cards:

Well, you could even try to get lucky with the help of other cards even. Other cards like the gold, silver, crown, and the clan chest etc still have the possibility to get the legendary however they are the small cards. So, never give up the hopes just keep on playing, god knows maybe someday you could even get the electro wizard out.

Method 2: The Paid Method

In this method, you could get the legendary card by paying real cash. So, let’s take a look at the method through which you could get these cards by paying the real cash.

1. Buy legendary king chest from the shop:

So, the first step is that you must purchase the gems in the game, and after that, use them to buy the legendary card. And let me tell you that, It is unlocked at the arena 7. And you are going t have a full chance of pulling the main card that is the legendary card and some other cards too. So, in it, you have a choice so you can choose your legendary card like a draft chest. And there you will see a card on the right side, and the other one on the left side. And you could easily choose whichever card you want to choose.

Let me also tell you that, you can not buy the Super medical chest from the shop. As accordingly specified in the latest updates

2. Buy other chests:

The other thing you could do is to buy any other chest for the support. And one of the chests is the lightning chest. It helps you to get the strike card, and you can exchange it for something else. And the method is followed as the common cards are exchanged with the common ones. And the most rear is exchanged with the most rear ones and so on.

In this way, you get five strikes, and that help you to get a chance to choose the legendary card if the same comes out of your chest. And if you want a king card, then they are unlocked for you at the arena 1-6, but let me tell you they are very less legendary in terms of powers. And you could also go for the fortune chest. All of these cards have a chance to get you to the legendary cards. And the best part is that if you are purchasing them from the shop. You could purchase it irrespective of any level you are it. They have no opening time for purchasing from the shop.

3. Wait for the legendary card to appear on the shop:

This is the safest as well as the easiest method of getting the legendary chest. It will cost you 500 gems to get the card but the best part is that you are guaranteed to get the legendary card. This method is most popular because of its risk-free nature as you have 1000% chances of getting the legendary card for sure. And if you could save up enough gems in the game as well then you didn’t even have to pay any amount to get the gems or to get the legendary chest.

This is the best method when you already have a few legendary cards. As no card will be repeated in this method for sure. So, your hard work is surely going to pay you off. But let me tell you that the players who have great skills and are playing at a very higher level use the gems to play the challenges. As the challenges have better value if you have higher levels of winning but generally with less skilled peoples it is very difficult and getting a legendary chest becomes a little easy for them.

Video Tutorial

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Final Few Words About How To Get Legendary Cards In Clash Royale

So, these are some of the methods which you could use to get the legendary cards in clash royale. And it is better that you must not buy the cards rather you must play for it and win it. It keeps the fun on and also maintains your interest in the game. You could even buy it if you want. As many people have the urge to move further and further in the game. And let me tell you that buying it will not generally let you lose the interest from the game even.

As the game is some much interesting and has lots of different things and that helps you to keep your interest in the game. You are surely going to enjoy the game even with or without the legendary card. But with both of these above methods, the paid as well as the free one will surely going to help you to get the legendary card even. And with these amazing methods, you are surely going to enjoy this game to a better extent.

Well, playing games it the best source of entertainment and great pass time. So, I hope, now you could enjoy an interrupted and endless gaming experience.

I hope, you find this article beneficial and will try this method to get the legendary cards in clash royale game. And if you have any kind of doubt or something, you could ask it through the comment section. So, now you could enjoy your gaming even more.

The post How to Get Legendary Cards in Clash Royale: New Methods [2019] appeared first on TheClashMods.

source https://theclashmods.com/clash-royale-legendary-cards/

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trogersracing · 6 years ago

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Ironman Barcelona

Ironman Barcelona Race Report

When I finally allowed myself the reality that I wanted to undertake the challenge of my first full Ironman in fall of 2017 I started by looking at the race schedule. I had already signed up for London Marathon in April 2018 and wanted to run well there and knew that effort would both need a decent amount of recovery as well as take a bit away from cycling and swimming during the build up. I also knew that having just qualified for South Africa for 70.3 WC’s I wanted to perform well there and that build could work nicely with building to a full race a few weeks/months beyond. Additionally, and being a bit ahead of myself (or just wishful thinking) I knew that there was no way we would be able to swing a trip to Kona in the same summer so finding a race in late September/October really seemed to be the best option to give myself another year to focus on Kona if I should qualify. This quickly narrowed the race options down and on final review IM Barcelona seemed to be the winner. I approached the race with the idea that I wanted to limit the ‘complications’ as much a possible, travel, course difficulty, etc etc. Barcelona was a single, relatively inexpensive and limited air time travel race from London, winner for travel. The course is very fast, (usually) calm seas, flat, smooth, simple bike course and a flat, smooth and simple run. It wasn’t that I wanted an ‘easy’ race, but I’ve never competed in a race of this distance or time and adding in a huge amount of elevation gain at my first go seemed like a unnecessary complication. It also helped that it was Barcelona, so a few days on the beach afterward seemed like a fantastic way to end the season!

This brought back some bad memories….

The first two races I had on the calendar in 2018 were the IAAF Half Marathon Championships and London Marathon. This gave me a solid run focus through the spring and through April. I purchased a Tacx Neo smart last year which has been a great tool for training and has allowed for consistent bike training during the variable London weather. It also allowed me to make efficient use of my ‘other’ training time during the run block and retain some quality on the bike. Given that (at the time) I couldn’t mount the Dimond to the trainer had had an old roadie bike that I set up with the same gearing and fit to replicate my race setup. I was also using my daily bike commute (about 10k each way) to pad my weekly miles or use as a cool down for the mornings workouts.

By virtue of the 70.3 WC’s and Barcelona my season was very much focused on getting to September/October fit and healthy. Generally my weeks were in the 10-12 hour range with a few pushing up beyond that mark. As a note, I never counted my commuting time/mileage, it was always just ‘extra’. There were a few larger weeks built into the schedule with one 100 mile ride (done outdoors) and one 5 hour ride (on the turbo). Otherwise my longest ride was no more than 4 hours. My longest week was around 15-16 hours, before adding another 5 of commuting. I wanted to do well at the WC’s but my primary focus had always been Barcelona, so I was very happy to have take away a 9th in my Age Group performance at the race with about four weeks to go before the big race (I’ll write a separate post about that race).

Skipping a bit to Barcelona

Blending in.

Travel always means packing the Hen House. I’ve actually had the travel bag longer than I’ve had my Dimond and I used the bag to travel to Milwaukee and Chicago when I was living in the states for USAT National Champs and ITU worlds. I’ve always loved the ability to have the bike with me, and (knock on wood) never paid a bike/baggage fee. Since moving to London I’ve used the bag to travel to Australia, South Africa and Barcelona for races all without fees or hassle. With the Dimond I use the carrat case and have self reinforced the bag with custom cut lexan sides. I love that the bag is light enough to pick up and huff off from baggage claim without much fuss and allows us to rent whatever car we want as the bags aren’t bulky (another cost saver)!

Snug as a bug.

As mentioned, Barcelona caught my eye because it was flat and fast. After arriving at the race I was quick to set up my bike and see the course with my own eyes. The race is actually set a bit further north in the city of Calella. The transition area is right on the beach (they take over an astroturfed soccer pitch) so the transition zone is concise. However, that means that you need to get through the old part of the city to get out to the main road where the majority of the bike is held. This means no aero bars for the first 3k. However, once out on the main highway they road is smooth, clean and fast. There are a few slow rolling hills as you arrive or leave the small villages you ride through but primarily the course along the ocean is flat. Perhaps, in an effort to break up drafting, they updated the course with a small out and back about 1/3 of the way into the loop which went uphill and away from the sea. Looking at the course map it looked like the great pyramid of Giza but once you realized that it was only in comparison to the pancake flat remainder of the course it wasn’t bad at all.

Important race prep happening.

Pre-race jitters.

The majority of the few days leading up to the race were filled with the typical pre race shenanigans. Obsessing over your gear, obsessing over what you eat, significant other telling you to get a grip… you know the drill. However I do always enjoy bike racking. To me, it is really the first time to size up the race and who you might be racing against. Its always a great time to meet some new friends and chat about what brought you to whatever race you happen to be at. Living and racing in London and Europe I’ve only ever seen one other Dimond at a race. Combined with my American accent I do find myself the focus of some attention when racking the bike. Barcelona was no different in that I didn’t see any other Dimond’s but a few interested onlookers. Typically I find myself talking about how easy it is to travel with the bike. As I’ve not had a wealth of racing experience at the half or full distance before the bike I’m not one to say that its made me ‘’xx minutes faster’’. I’m more of one to talk about the bike as something that gets me excited to get out there and ride, to me it’s a part of a well rounded approach to racing, its not some magic bullet that will suddenly transform someone from an enthusiast to a champion.

Full race race setup.

Get some.

Finally race day was upon me. My general race plan was to survive the swim, pace myself into a good position on the bike and go for it on the run. I knew the marathon would be my strength so my goal was to put myself in a position to run into a Kona slot. The weather had been sunny and warm for the preceding days but come race day it was cool and raining. The sea, which had been calm, was in full swell. Generally the specific race conditions don’t put me in a better or worst mindset, being from New England I consider my a ‘tough’ guy and tend to power through most conditions. I always try and remember I’m racing with the same situation as everyone else so I try not to get concerned. However, not the strongest swimmer to begin with I was concerned that swimming in these rough conditions might hamper my race plan. But by that point, there was no turning back and after the normal pre race screwing around with the bike and double checking transition bags we were off.

fak.

I’m seriously reconsidering the race at this point.

But I don’t wanna!!!

I had lined up in the 1:00 area thinking that was going to be my goal time, however, soon some staff ushered me down to the AWA starting wave. I think it’s a bit odd to have a specific AWA wave, there is nothing saying that I’m going to be faster (or slower) just because I’m AWA. It seemed odd to cater a starting wave to the group. However, I knew that if it put me that much further in front of the ‘crowd’ I’d be setting myself up for a quieter bike. The swim was easily the roughest I’ve ever done. I felt like I drank a gallon of water by the time it was over and sighting was a complete nightmare. I had to time sighting with the top of the swells or you’d never see the next buoy. When you did look up to sight I’d see swimmers going straight up the next wave. This was a race!! Making the primary turn I glanced at my watch and saw 30:00 and was pleasantly surprised. I knew that the second half was going to be into the swell but to have paced right to where I want to be gave me confidence. Powering through the second part of the swim I exited the water at just over one hour and was very, very, pleased to have had that swim behind me!

Holy shit! I’m alive!!

Jumping on the bike I knew this was where the work (for me) really began, I had a target wattage (230-235) and worked out a good nutrition plan. The goal was to take down a half of a honey stinger waffle every 30 minutes and supplement with a mix of Precision Hydration and Honey Stinger gels. The idea was that as I worked through the pre mix hydration I would take course water and cycle that into my routine. Starting the bike you always get a few guys that seem to go out like they’re going to win the race in the first five miles. I resisted the temptation and stuck to my plan. My average power seemed to be tracking a bit lower than where I wanted but I was moving along at a good pace and this being my first race I didn’t want to overextend myself now. I stuck to my plan for fuel and hydration and covered the first lap without issue. By the end of the first lap I had found myself largely riding alone and had been able to put in a few blocks of consistent power. However, as I began the second lap I could sense riders behind me and was starting to encounter last of the riders that exited the water late. On the out and back hill I could see my that while there weren’t main people in front of me but I was definitely the start of the chase. By the end of the second lap between passing those still on their first lap and the people behind me putting on good pressure I had been caught. My power suffered drastically and its definitely one of those times that I should have put down a good effort to get some separation, but I played it safe and stuck to my plan of not burning matches on the bike. In retrospect I really feel this was a poor decision and really wished i had put down some watts. I don’t think my run would have suffered all that much in comparison to putting some solid time into my competition on the bike.

Still coughing up water at this point. Current aero situation: -10

I had a retul fit done over the winter in preparation for this race which had moved me a bit lower and longer which yielded great results. I’m sure I could fuss about with the fit more and find either some additional aero advantage or power output but it would be starting to split hairs. Overall I felt very comfortable and relaxed on the bike, no areas of unreasonable pain or discomfort. I think this speaks of both a quality fit as well as a comfortable and stable bike under saddle. For the race itself I used Continental Force and Attack tires with Latex tubes and Stans sealant wrapped around HED Jet 9 and Disc wheels. The only other modification I’ve made to the bike outside of the factory ‘race’ set-up is the SLF oversized pulley wheels. I use a Stages power meter as I find that to be the easiest meter to swap between my training and racing bike. I currently have the Gen 1 Left only meter but just upgraded to the gen 3 L/R meter, so looking forward to that. I use a profile design refillable BTA bottle and amount a second cage to my stem (TriRig Sigma). Additionally, I have my tube and repair kit behind the saddle with another bottle. This set up works well for 70.3 races as it allows me to not stop at aid stations and easily take on course water but have my own mix for the full distance. I’ve made a reasonable effort to clean up my front end with the Sigma stem but there are definitely some gains that I could make by reviewing my setup.

Race nutrition.

Its on.

Werk.

However, with all that said about my ride clear differentiator for my bike is the color scheme. As a graduate of Virginia Tech the Orange and Maroon paint scheme was a given. My time there in was formative and provided me with the tools that have allowed me practice architecture all around the world. When I’m running up to my bike in transition I can hear the Metallica’s Enter Sandman playing at Lane stadium and sixty-eight thousand fans jumping up and down. The bike and the paint scheme signify the work that has been done, and the work that needs to be done, this is my time, my effort. I always jump on that bike ready to rock.

After two laps along the scenic Barcelona coast it was back into Calella, through the old town and back to transition. A quick shoe change (and socks on for this race) later it was out on the run. Coming off the bike I felt energized, I had made it through the bike without a crash, technical issue or any penalties. At this point I knew, no matter how I might do it, I was going to finish the race, even if I had to crawl across that line.

Well frick… its time to run.

The first mile or two of the run felt amazing, being back on my feet, stretching my back a bit and opening the legs up was fantastic. It was also now I could hear Carly cheering which was a really nice pick up. We had run through a bit of what i’d like her to do in terms of split information so I was looking forward to getting an idea of where I stood in the race. From a pace perspective my goal was to run a 2:55, I felt I had that in me and was a good target to set. I started off at a brisk 6:40 pace and was holding it well for the first 3-4 miles before I saw Carly for the first time. She yelled something about 8th, or 8 minutes down… or something… I wasn’t really sure. Oh well, it is only a few miles in, I really need to run a bit and let the race settle to get a feel for the work I need to do.

The run course at Barcelona is three big loops with the finish at one end. Carly had positioned herself at basically the halfway point so I was able to see her both heading out and coming back of each loop. After the initial split where I didn’t really get where I was she had some solid information that I was sitting in 3rd and running the same pace as first but well above 2nd or anyone else around me. This was great news! Outside of finishing my goal was 3rd in my AG, I figured that would be a ‘safe’ position in my AG to secure a slot for Kona. Knowing I was running strong compared to others also gave me some confidence that if i slipped a bit I might have a bit of a buffer.

Your mind goes to some dark places.

I continued pushing and ended up running with a few groups during the first half or so. At one point I ran with who would turn out to be the second place female professional and grouped up a few times with some other runners. I went through the 21k mark at 1:27:33, pretty much perfectly on pace for a 2:55.

Carly continued to offer updates and I seemed to making ground on second but wasn’t past him just yet, no mention of where 4th was so I kept on grinding. However, shortly after the turn around on loop two I hit the wall. Mentally perhaps I had gotten too comfortable, and physically perhaps I had gone out a bit too fast. Either way, mile 15-19 were pretty rough. I had been taking water and coke regularly throughout the race and added in some gels and red bull. I’m not sure if it was the added fuel or the fact that I started what would be my last lap and knew that was it, 9 more miles, one more lap. I checked myself back in the game and really tried to push myself with what I had left. I knew second had to be super close to second and if I put in a solid effort here I might be able to pick him off. However, as by now people were pouring on to the run course from the bike I had little to no idea who was who and if someone was on the first lap or third.

Just trying to maintain.

I honestly can’t recall the last information Carly gave me, but I’m pretty sure I asked her how far off and she said something like 4 minutes down on first, 4 minutes back to third… I had made it into second!!! I knew I wouldn’t see Carly again till the finish so it was up to me to close this out. I was terrified that at any moment my body would just say ‘nope’ and start to shut down so my goal was to get across that finish line as quickly as humanly possible. I told myself to suck it up and you’ve only got 4….. 3……2…..1… miles to go. Running back towards town I knew that once I passed back by the transition tent I’d have only a mile to go and I had made that my last ‘carrot’ before the finish. As I was closing in on the transition I passed by one racer, he looked over at me and asked ”second or third?”. Not really thinking/having any idea what he was asking about I told him ‘I have no idea’ and kept on cranking.

Passing through the transition tent with only a mile to go it started to feel real to me, that I’d actually finish this race and be an Ironman. I started to skip the aid stations and just push towards the finish. The course tightens up a bit near the end and a couple of times I found myself wedging myself through some slower moving runners.

You know the difference between me and you? I make this look good.

However, as soon as I got to the last corner it was a sharp turn off and down on to the red carpet and I found myself running alone. It was down a quick hill and to the left with the finish chute all to myself. It all happened quite fast, I’m naturally one to race all the way through the line so in retrospect I do now get why people say to relax and enjoy the finish experience. I however, cruised through the line and promptly collapsed. It took me a few minutes to compose myself, I was totally drained…

A slow walk to the recovery area where I took my time to have a bit of food and drink. Looking around I saw a few male pro’s, one or two female pro’s and a few age groupers. It seemed like a pretty small group, but I really couldn’t tell. I hadn’t run one watch throughout the so I didn’t have an actual race time but I could piece it together knowing each of the disciplines and figured I was near 9:00, which had typically been where my age group’s third place finished. That, coupled with Carly’s encouragement, left me feeling good that I had secured a solid place.

After a bit of food and drink and chatting with a few of the other AG finishers and going around to congratulate everyone who had finished thus far I made my way out from the finish area to find Carly, she had been anxiously waiting for me and gave me a great big hug exclaiming ‘You won!!!’ I told her ‘No, you said I was second , but still I had a good day!” She replied, ”No, you caught first, you wont your age group!!’ Wow….. I made up four minutes in the final half of the last lap on first… I couldn’t believe it!!!

Still in a physical and emotional state of shock she handed over my gear and we slowly made our way back to the apartment. After some confirming glances at the Ironman tracker I finally did realize that yes, in fact I had won my age group, and in fact been the 6th Amateur across the line!! The next few hours were filled with a well deserved shower and a lot of food and drink. We went down to the finish line around 10:30 to cheer on those still working their way through the marathon. It was really exciting to see how jazzed everyone was to finish the race. Despite the fact that it was now pouring out there was a great crowd out cheering the last competitors across the line. It was really quite fun to watch everyone finish.

Monday’s award ceremony was certainly an experience. I had laid out some lofty goals for my first race, but to have placed first in my age group and 6th overall was really something I wasn’t expecting. I was really happy with my overall race plan and management and while I took a lot away from this race as learning experiences I feel like I put it all out there for my first race. I’m looking forward to racing Roth Germany next July which I hear is another fast course and then Kona in October!!!

It goes without saying but none of this would be possible without the unwavering support of Carly. Her ability to encourage me along this journey and be great partner is without measure. She is the reason I push myself to be better. Plus she’s pretty cute.

Ironman Barcelona was originally published on Rogers Racing

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thewritingartmature · 7 years ago

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Honor To Us All

Summary:

“This is your final chance, Shirogane.” Haxus began. “Sign the confession, with the arm you have left,” Haxus chuckled. “And allow me to give you the rites to put your spirit at ease.”

Shiro only glared.

or the Dishonored AU that no one asked for.

Chapter 1 - Honored

The sharp sound of the whistle signaled the end of the day’s work, mutters and sighs escaping the lips of dozens of workers crowded in the factory floor. Shiro smiled in relief, wiping away the oil from his hands against his apron as he followed his fellow workers out into the line. To see him among them was a sight all on its own, so young and inexperienced compared to grizzled worker who doubled him in age and height. He received many side glances and rolling eyes wherever he strolled. Yet Shiro didn’t mind. An orphaned street rat he stole to survive, being beaten and tossed around in the few times he was caught. Now finally at 14 years of age he managed to gain a job, a legitimate source of money that he could proudly show off and spend on whatever he needed with no worry of the consequences. It was enough. Well, almost. Putting away his apron and gloves he followed in line. The boss handed out the employees’ pays as they brought out their own bags, the boss throwing in the amount he saw them fit of earning. Once it was Shiro’s turn, for a mere second the man’s eyes softened.

“Here you go, Takashi.” The man hummed, handing Shiro is pay. Takashi pursed his lips as he watched the money inside the bag, counting with his eyes and making the math in his head. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s…less than what you said I would make.” Takashi said, his voice stern. The man scoffed slightly.

“We’re on a tight leash recently. It’s only until it gets better. Don’t worry about it.” The man insisted.

Liar. Takashi thought, but instead he simply nodded and moved along. Of course, he was lying. He had been doing the same thing since he started working here a few months ago. Shiro may be a street rat, but he wasn’t stupid. But then again…what more could he do? Speak up and lose the only stable job that he had managed to gain? He couldn’t take that risk. Even if it meant to accept a lower wage than what he should well receive. Because money was money, and besides…he had Keith to worry about too. So he played pretend, leaving the factory with his pay in his hand and his head high.

He went to the market, buying bread and cheese for dinner, before heading back home. Well, what to him was home. It was a shed on a hill. It used to belong to an elderly farmer that died long ago, leaving the place vacant until Shiro and Keith made it theirs. It wasn’t perfect, but it was just enough.

“Welcome back, Shiro!” Keith chimed, running out of the shed to hug him as he arrived. Shiro welcomed Keith with open arms.

“Hey Keith! I got paid today, so guess what I got?” Shiro asked, watching as Keith gasped and his eyes gleamed at the bag.

“Is that cheese?!”

“I think we have the right to spoil ourselves once in a while.” Shiro said, Keith throwing his arms in the air with a cheer. He had met Keith when he was barely 7 years of age. An orphan and street rat struggling on his own, he was quick to look up to Shiro like the brother he never had, and Shiro returned the sentiment tenfold. The two had been together ever since.

“How was work?” Keith asked, his mouth full with cheese and bread as he looked over at Shiro.

“Fine. Normal. The usual.” Shiro hummed, eating his share. “What about you, did anything interesting today?”

“Managed to pickpocket some nice stuff from a rich brat by the docks. I think I can sell them for a nice price.” Keith said with a smile. Shiro raised an eyebrow.

“Keith…”

“She won’t even notice it’s gone! She has more money to spend than the Emperor himself probably.” Keith insisted. He finished his share, before gasping in realization. “Wait, I did see something else.” He said, hurrying back into the shed to pick something up. He returned with a piece of paper, handing it over to Shiro. “Look!”

“…Blade Verbena?” Shiro smiled, looking over at Keith. “You want to go this year?”

“Actually,” Keith hummed. “I was thinking I could compete!” Shiro couldn’t contain his laughter, even when he didn’t mean to laugh as he did. “Shiro I’m serious!”

“I’m sorry.” Shiro said. “But you’re too young to participate, you know that.”

Keith pouted. “Well…but you can, right?”

“Well…yes, I did just turn 14 this year.”

“Then go for it!”

“Why?” Shiro rested back against the wall, closing his eyes. “I only have days off on holidays, and I could really use the break you know.”

Keith pouted. “But what about the prize money?”

Shiro opened one eye. “…Prize money?”

“Yeah!” Keith said, pointing down at the paper. “This year there’ll be a prize money! See?”

Shiro reread the section, his eyes widening slightly. “…5,000 Coin.” He could feel his heart skip a beat. That was…a lot. Enough for them to live on for the next five years or more if they used it right. Enough to buy new clothes that actually fit, buy more than just bread and cheese, buy medicine when they got sick instead of begging for scraps of it and hope for the best. 5,000 Coin could easily be life changing.

“With that much Coin, we can live as kings!” Keith cheered. Shiro gently nodded.

“Yeah.” He said, feeling his throat dry all of a sudden. He glanced over at Keith, seeing his eyes gleaming as he smiled back at Shiro. “(It could be life changing for the better.)” He thought. And all he had to do was something he was already good at? This was a chance he couldn’t let go of. “I’ll do it.” He said, setting the paper down. “I’ll sign up.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah. But you better be there to cheer me on, ok?”

“Of course!”

…

Shiro had always had a thing for swordsmanship. A hobby that made him dream of one day becoming a knight or a soldier to explore uncharted lands. Though he never used his weapon against anyone with ill-intentions, he knew he had some skill. He could finally put it to use at something. The Blade Verbena. An Annual dueling festival held all over the Empire, each city and providence hosting their own versions. People from all over Serkonos would come to compete, and Shiro had to make sure he beat every single one of them.

After the qualification rounds, Shiro stood with the 49 other competitors in the arena, looking up as the Chief of the Grand Serkonos Guard gave them words of encouragement. He could see Keith from his seat on the stands, waving at Shiro whenever he had the chance, Shiro waving back sheepishly.

“And so, we remind everyone, that the winner will not only be declared the champion of the annual festival, but will go home with the first ever award money; 5,000 Coin!” The Chief declared, everyone cheering in response. The brackets were listed up on a large board, hand written with chalk to keep count on the following fights. Shiro felt a soft nudge from the competitor next to him.

“You better back off now, kid, before you embarrass yourself.” He said, a smirk on his lips. Shiro couldn’t help but to smirk right back.

“I don’t know. You know what they say, sir, the bigger they are, the harder they fall…and I really want to see how quick I can make you fall.” Shiro responded, earning chuckles from the others around him.

The fight was on.

…

The first few suckers who got to fight against Shiro in the first few rounds were quick to realize that they shouldn’t have underestimated him. They charged in with confidence, and were quickly defeated before the smirk could be wiped off their faces. As Shiro went up the ranks, the challengers began to take their fights more seriously than the last, each fight lasting longer and becoming harsher, forcing Shiro to push his limits. Not that Shiro would’ve wanted it any other way. Every time he knocked a challenger down, the cheers became louder and louder, Keith being the loudest of them all. In the end, it was just Shiro versus a formidable competitor, much older and experienced than himself. Yet, he did not waver. Shiro dueled with prowess and determination, and with struggle, he defeated his opponent with a standing ovation.

“Shiro!!!” Keith screamed, snapping Shiro out of his daze as Keith ran into the arena, the guards not even stopping the young child from tackling at Shiro, hugging him tightly as the crowd cheered around them. “You did it! Shiro you did it you won you won!” Keith squealed, Shiro wincing only slightly as he gave Keith a confident smile.

“Told ya I could do it.” Shiro said.

“Ahem.”

Shiro looked up, seeing the opponent back on his feet as he turned to face him. Keith was quick to get ready to fight, though it would never come. Instead, the opponent offered his hand to Shiro.

“I have never seen such…a talented person at such a young age. You more than deserved that victory.” The opponent said. Shiro looked at him, smiling as he proceeded to shake his hand.

“Thanks. You did great too.” Shiro said. The opponent nodded, looking over at Keith with a smile.

“You have a very talented brother.” He said.

“I know!” Keith said, smiling as he hugged Shiro’s arm. The opponent simply nodded before backing away. The Chief proceeded to walk over to Shiro, a smile on his face.

“Congratulations, Champion. You have very well earned your place.” He said, gently setting the golden medal around Shiro’s neck. Shiro could barely keep his eyes off the beauty of the metal.

“Thank you, sir.” Shiro said, unable to stop smiling.

“And of course, your award money.” The Chief said, a fellow guard handing Shiro a large bag, heavy with coin. Shiro could barely hold it as it was handed it him, having it to settle it on the floor momentarily to admire the amount of coin inside. He had never seen this many coin in one place at the same time.

“I…I don’t know what to say…” Shiro said, feeling his heart race. Keith awed in amazement.

“Shiro, we can eat more than just bread and cheese with this!” Keith whispered, barely believing his eyes. This could change their lives drastically. Yet…they weren’t done yet.

“Actually, there is one more thing.” The Chief said. “Your talents are beyond extraordinary. I have seen children of your age from all walks of life who have been training all of their lives to become part of the Guard, and never have I ever seen someone with such potential. Therefore, I was wondering…if you would like to join us?”

Shiro.exe stopped working, the world around him going silent as Shiro looked at the Chief with wide eyes. “…what?”

“The Guard.” The Chief repeated. “I was wondering if you would like to work with us as a member of the Guard. Sure, you are young, but with such potential, you will be able to learn lots of invaluable skills to your disposal. We can offer you education and the preparation needed to fully do your job, as well, in exchange for your work and service You will even receive a very nice pay.” The Chief said. Shiro could barely breathe, he could barely think. A job with the guard? With pay? With education? Was this a dream? His skin had become pale, and it was noted, as the Chief gently got a hand on his shoulder to snap him out of his daze. “Stay with us, Takashi. Don’t go fainting on us.” Shiro shook his head, looking up as his mind rushed to form a response.

“I-I don’t know what to say, sir! I would be so honored-!” Shiro began, but just as suddenly he paused, feeling the grip of Keith’s small hand on his. Shiro looked down at Keith, and narrowed his eyes, before looking back up at the Chief. “But…what about Keith? I can’t leave him.”

I won’t leave him.

The Chief looked down at Keith, and then back at Shiro with a smile. “He can come live with you! In exchange for your work, he can study as well. Maybe he can even apply to become part of the force as he grows as well.” The Chief insisted. Keith looked up at Shiro with his jaw dropped, his eyes gleaming in awe.

“Shiro?” Keith asked. Shiro pursed his lips, a smile sneaking into his features as he forced himself from crying. He gently nodded, smiling at Keith.

“What do you think, Keith?” He finally asked. Keith looked at him before shaking him around.

“What do you mean?! Of course! Shiro you HAVE to take this!” Keith insisted. Shiro chuckled, looking up at the Chief.

“So…where do I start?”

…

Shiro always went back to that day, and whenever he did, he always thanked whatever gods were at work that day for granting him the opportunity when they did. In a matter of two years his life had already made a complete turn from what it once was. He gained a place to call his own among the barrack buildings of the Guard, living with Keith. Earning a steady and justful income for clothing and food. They were educated with some of the best, the only thing better being that of the nobles and royalty. That is, until the unexpected promotion was thrown at him. Well, promotion wasn’t the best word for it. It wasn’t something he was looking for, to begin with. A position had opened up all the way in the capital of Dunwall, and the Chief, insisting on his potential and praise, had set him up to take it. Now he was supposed to leave the only place he had ever known and begin a whole new job in a whole new place. It wasn’t him that was the angriest of them, though. Oh no. That was definitely Keith.

“You’re going to leave?!” Keith asked, looking up with worry in his eyes. It was a panic Shiro rarely saw in him, and it made his heart ache. “You’re going to leave me alone?!”

“There’s nothing I can do, Keith. I’m to leave for Dunwall in a few days. It’s already been ordered.” Shiro insisted. He struggled to keep his tears from escaping his eyes, even though Keith’s were already flowing freely.

“Take me with you! Please!” Keith insisted, grasping at Shiro’s uniform. “You can’t just leave! You can’t just leave me here! You can’t just…I can’t…” Keith sobbed, unable to speak the words he truly meant.

Don’t leave me too.

First his parents, and now Shiro. To Keith, the world was falling to pieces around him. Shiro stood with Keith, rubbing his back ever so softly as he allowed him to cry.

“I’m sorry, Keith.” Shiro whispered. Keith shook his head, resting his head against his chest.

“Will I ever even see you again?” Keith asked.

“Of course.” Shiro said, gently lifting Keith’s face so that they made eye contact. “We’ll write letters to each other, too. We’ll keep in contact.” Shiro said. Keith didn’t seem convinced, furrowing his brows as he buried his face against Shiro’s chest once more.

“I’m going to miss you.”

Shiro frowned. “Me too, Keith. Me too.”

…

It had been a week since his departure from Serkonos. To say goodbye to Keith was easily one of the hardest things he ever had to endure, and yet, he knew that he had a whole new set of challenges ahead of him. He had to be strong. He had come this far. He could not allow himself to fall back so easily. Dunwall was not what he expected, nor a place he would exactly call home. Compared to Serkonos, the city was too crowded and cramped and squished all together, only leaving enough space for alleys and the main street. It was overwhelming. But nowhere near as when he arrived at the Dunwall Tower. It stood out from the city, heavily guarded and filled with flora and structures seen nowhere else around. It was only when he was led into the royal gardens, escorted by the royal guards, that he realized what kind of position he had been brought into.

In the large gazebo standing among the garden, the royal family sat while surrounded by guards. They sat on garden chairs while with a clothed table, drinking tea and eating delicious treats ranging from cookies to small cakes.

“Your majesty, Takashi Shirogane has arrived.” The guard said. The emperor settled down his tea, smiling.

“Thank you. Let’s see to him.” He asked. The guard nodded as he signaled for Shiro to approach. Shiro stepped up, stopping a few feet away from the king before proceeding to bow.

“Your majesty, Emperor Alfor, it is an honor to meet you.” Shiro said, keeping his head down.

“The pleasure is all mine. Rise.” Alfor said, signaling him to come within the gazebo. Shiro followed, careful of his movements as Alfor turned to his daughter. “Allow me to introduce you to my daughter, Allura. If I am correct, you two are of the same age.” Alfor said, his cheerful tone never wavering. Shiro turned to face the princess, almost stunned the moment he saw her. Allura had always been mentioned to be the most beautiful woman of all the Empire, and many simply saw it that it was a title to go along with her status. But they were true. Allura was beautiful, her bright blue eyes with pink shades contrasting against her darkened skin, her white hair fluffy yet controlled in a standard fashion. Her smile could melt the coldest of hearts and possibly end wars. Then again, it could all be an overreaction from Shiro’s mind. But then again, he had never met such a beautiful woman. Not until now. He managed to snap out of his daze, bowing down as he offered his hand to her.

“An honor, princess Allura.” He said, feeling as the princess settled her hand on his for it to be kissed.

“An honor to meet you as well.” She said, her tone as cheerful as her father’s. Shiro was quick to peck her hand, a flush rushing to his cheeks as he let go and proceeded to stand once more.

“I have heard many good things about you, Takashi. An excellent leader and warrior, surpassing even some of your superiors, and you’re only 16 years of age.” Alfor said. Shiro bowed his head.

“Your words are beyond kind, your majesty.” He said.

“Maybe.” Alfor said. “But I wish to put it at the test. You see, my daughter is starting to become a woman, and is becoming independent. Such a rowdy young lady she is.” Alfor said, ignoring Allura’s groans of embarrassment from his words. “I do not trust simple guards to be able to keep up with her. Therefore, I have a request to ask of you.” Alfor said, turning to Shiro. “I wish to ask you to take the position of Lord Protector of the Future Empress. You will be with her, you shall protect her from any danger that arises, no matter how small.” Alfor said. Shiro could feel his heart beat against his chest to the point that it began to ache.

Lord protector.

To the princess.

…holy shit.

“Calm down, my boy, you look like you’ll faint.” Alfor joked, Shiro quickly snapping out of his panic, shaking his head and wiping his brow.

“Forgive me, your majesty. It is…just…a position of such importance. It’s not that I’m not grateful, but I am a mere student compared to so much more talented soldiers…” Shiro said, rambling as he could feel his face turned red. He only stopped when Alfor raised his hand to have him do so.

“You are a man of grand potential, and the same age as my daughter. I need someone who I can trust. Not just an old man following orders, but a soldier who will be able to keep up with her, one who she won’t outlive from age.” Alfor said, standing up as he gently got his hand on Shiro’s shoulders. “I appoint you because I can sense something special within you, Takashi, and that sense is telling me that if anyone can protect my daughter, it is you.” He insisted. Shiro could barely breathe as he analyzed his words, yet, his heart quickly set. He would do this. He would protect the princess. He would take this challenge.

Maybe this is for what I was born for.

Shiro gulped, bowing his head. “I…I would be honored to take the position, my emperor.” He said. His eyes suddenly turned to Allura, before returning to the floor. “If princess Allura would have me.” Alfor suddenly laughed, a bright smile on his features.

“I knew I had made a good decision!” He said, turning to Allura. “Well? What do you think?”

Allura hummed, crossing his arms. “I don’t think I need protection.” She said, but a smirk spread across her features just as quickly. “Let’s see if you can keep up, Shirogane.” Shiro could only smile. This was the beginning of something grand.

Something not even Shiro could have dreamt of.

| Next Chapter >

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jasonhaw · 7 years ago

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10 Shows to Binge in the Latest Golden Age of TV

.As someone obsessed with TV shows, I was pleased with the winners from last night’s 2017 Primetime Emmy Awards (full winner list here). With that, I have decided to come up with a list of 10 MUST-WATCH shows worth binging. Each show in the list comes with a binge clock from bingeclock.com, which is the site that tells you how many hours you need to binge a particular show.

Binge culture has brought us another golden age of TV. I had a hard time compiling this list because there are a ton of other shows that I have excluded, but if I had to recommend 10 shows that people should religiously watch, it would be these:

1. If you want a less depressing version of politics: Veep (HBO)

Binge Clock: 1 day 5 hours (Season 1 to 6, final season upcoming)

Even if you are not privy to Washington politics, you will love Veep because the jokes are on point. Julia Louis Dreyfus is a powerhouse comedienne, having won Emmys across three shows (Seinfeld, New Adventures for Old Christine, and Veep). Last night’s award set her a record for not only winning the most number of Best Actress trophies (Seven!), but also winning the most Emmys playing the same character (Six in a row!)

As one friend puts it, “Everyone thinks Washington politics is like House of Cards but really everyone over there is fumbling like Veep.” These days, it’s getting harder and harder to differentiate which is the parody of the other – Veep or Trump’s White House.

A bonus you might be interested in: Julia Louis Dreyfus and Joe Biden team up together for a short during the 2014 White House Correspondent’s Dinner.

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2. All-around feel good comedy: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Netflix)

Binge Clock: 18 hours 12 minutes (Season 1 to 3, Season 4 upcoming)

You probably have seen Titus gifs around the internet.

Co-creator Tina Fey originally planned to air the show on NBC as a successor to her critically-acclaimed hit 30 Rock (which you should totally binge by the way), but instead Netflix poached this show. Aside from the tons and tons of references, some of the actors were also from 30 Rock, such as Jane Krakowski (supporting actress) and Tituss Burgess (occasional guest star). Tina Fey herself shows up in some of the episodes as Kimmy’s therapist.

The title of the show explains it all – Kimmy Schmidt is unbreakable because she manages to live life in New York City even after being kidnapped by a cult leader and trapped in a bunk for 10 years. The opening sequence is one of my most favorite sequences of all time, and I never skip it.

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Personal favorite? Season 3 Episode 2. Titus doing Lemonade will make you forget all your problems.

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3. Show some Filipino-American pride: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (The CW)

Binge Clock: 1 day 7 hours (Season 1 and 2, Season 3 coming this fall)

Speaking of opening sequences, I also love both Season 1 and 2 opening sequences of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Again, the title of the show explains it all. Rebecca Bunch was a successful lawyer in NYC but decided to move to suburban California after serendipitously meeting her teen flame Josh Chan and spends the rest of the show obsessing over how to get him back. Given that this is California, Josh Chan is played by a Filipino-American actor (Vincent Rodriguez III). The opening sequence pretty much summarizes the premise:

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Because the head writer, Rene Gube, is also Filipino-American, the show is littered with Filipino cultural references. Personal favorite: Season 1 Episode 5. Rebecca is invited to a Filipino thanksgiving and she serves up some dinuguan (pork blood stewed in vinegar) to impress the family (video below). The show is a comedy musical – you will have LSS with songs like “The Sexy Getting Ready Song.” Season 1 finale also features Filipino Broadway pride Lea Salonga.

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4. All-around awesomeness: Master of None (Netflix)

Binge Clock: 10 hours (Season 1 and 2, hopefully Season 3 comes sooner!)

Speaking of Asian Americans, praise Aziz Anzari for this show. I was lukewarm to Aziz on Parks and Recreation (which you should totally binge by the way!) but I am obsessed with him on Master of None. Each episode is a standalone mini-movie: the title of the show is in reference to the phrase, “Jack of all trades, master of none.”

Personal favorites (and also both Emmy winners): Season 1 Episode 2 Parents and Season 2 Episode 8 Thanksgiving. In Parents, Aziz’s real life parents make a cameo as the parents of Dev Shah, Aziz’s character, as the episode discusses intergenerational issues in immigrant families. Thanksgiving features the coming out story of Denise, played by Lena Waithe, who is a black queer woman.

Aziz takes time writing these episodes. Season 2, which was released earlier this year, came two years after Season 1. Netflix greenlighted Season 3, but time can only tell when that is coming!

5. The meta-telenovela: Jane the Virgin (The CW)

Binge Clock: 2 days 16 hours (Season 1 to 3, Season 4 coming this fall)

This show is so popular in the Philippines that major network ABS-CBN dubbed the first two seasons and showed it on primetime. The show has this classic telenovela feel, but poignantly makes fun of all of the stereotypes while still coming up with a coherent romantic comedy.

The premise is Jane, who has never had sex in her life being raised strictly as a Catholic in a Hispanic immigrant family, gets accidentally artificially inseminated with Rafael’s sperm during a routine gynecology check-up. By the end of Season 1, you will choose sides, are you Team Baby Daddy (Team Rafael) or Team Boyfriend (Team Michael)?

(Photo source here)

But beyond the love triangle, this show is psychologically smart. It deals with heartbreak, and various levels of losses in a way that’s endearing while also very educational. My personal favorite episode is when Jane finally loses her virginity in Season 3 – I won’t tell which episode exactly!

6. The news explainer: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

Binge Clock: 2 days 8 hours (Season 1 to 3, Season 4 ongoing)

Jon Stewart has mentored a lot of correspondents on the Daily Show, and they have since starred in their own late night shows, such as Stephen Colbert (who starred in the highly successful Colbert Report on Comedy Central and now succeeds David Letterman on the Late Show at CBS) and Samantha Bee (her show Full Frontal is on TBS). Trevor Noah may have been Jon Stewart’s successor on The Daily Show (I also love Trevor Noah by the way), but the real successor to Jon Stewart is John Oliver.

Every Sunday on late night, John Oliver goes on a 20 or 30-minute rant about an issue that you might not be aware and you will care about it after. The monologues are available for free on the show’s YouTube channel (YAY!) which you can access here.

7. This is too real: Black Mirror (Channel 4, then moved to Netflix)

Binge Clock: 12 hours 21 minutes (Season 1 to 3, Season 4 upcoming)

Black Mirror is an allusion to the black mirrors of our smartphone/laptop/tablet screens. Each episode is a TV movie in itself, dealing with at least one ethical issue on the future of technology. It used to air on Channel 4 in the UK, where 7 episodes were successfully aired, but Netflix picked it up and ordered 6 episodes for Season 3, and another 6 coming soon.

My personal favorite is Season 3 Episode 4 San Junipero – I won’t even spoil you any details, just watch it please. I am so glad it won the two Emmy Awards it was nominated for.

8. The most underrated actress in my lifetime is in this show: Orphan Black (BBC America)

Binge Clock: 2 days 2 hours (5 Seasons, just ended over the summer)

Tatiana Maslany deserves far more recognition than what she is getting now. After getting snubbed at the Emmys for Best Drama Actress during the first three seasons, she got her due last year when she won the award, having only been nominated for the first time that year. She plays more than a dozen characters on the show, as the show revolves around life of clones under codename Project Leda.

The main 6 are shown above. Screengrab from BBC America YouTube channel. Watch the Meet The Clones video here.

The fifth and final season just ended over the summer, so for those who love to binge after the shows end, this is perfect for you.

9. Breakout comedy star: Atlanta (FX)

Binge Clock: 6 hours, 30 minutes (Season 1, Season 2 upcoming)

Donald Glover – I don’t even know where to begin explaining how awesome he is. You may love him as Childish Gambino, his musical alterego, or his character on Community (NBC, then later Yahoo! Screen). Atlanta is primarily Danny’s brainchild, where he stars, directs, and writes most of the episodes, similar to how Aziz Anzari is with Master of None.

The show revolves around Glover’s character, Alfred Miles, an up-and-coming rap artist trying to make his way into the music industry in Atlanta. I personally have not watched it yet as of date, but it is on top of my to-watch list. After winning multiple Emmy awards last night, I better make time for this.

10. Breakout drama star: The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu)

Binge clock: 10 hours (Season 1, Season 2 upcoming)

Digital platforms are getting more and more savvy when competing with traditional network and cable TV. Netflix has been investing hundreds and millions of dollars producing hundreds of original content (and a lot of good ones as you can see in my list), while Amazon Prime and Hulu are following the same suit. Amazon Prime has Transparent as its centerpiece (which you should totally binge also by the way), while Hulu has found theirs recently with The Handmaid’s Tale. The show bagged a lot of awards in the Emmys this year.

Photo source here.

The show is based on the Margaret Atwood novel of the same name. The premise is about a dystopian future where woman are subjected as a slaves in order to address the plummeting birth rate of the human race. Its main competition during the Emmys, Westworld (HBO), also talks about a dystopian future where the rich can live out their most disgusting and illegal desires on humanlike robots on a playground called Westworld (Yes, binge Westworld also please!)

As I have mentioned, there are a ton more shows, and I know a lot of you have them in mind. But these are my personal favorites, the last two of which I cannot wait to binge.

#TIL #binge #lifehack #TV shows

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