#i showed this to my brother and it fried his brain. understandably

[impish-baby]

Ummm, a lot of my asks have been eaten lately, but I figured that typing this out again probably won't hurt. Sorry if you got it and I'm being annoying, but what if we went grocery shopping and met the twins by accident. The thing is, we don't see it as us running away. From our POV, we were distancing ourselves from our toxic family, so we're just like "Hey, wassup?" And the twins are like "wtf, where have you been asshole?!"

And then we just get pulled into a bone crushing hug and shoved into their car while we're just shocked bc literally when was the last time they showed us affection? Physical affection at that? And (small fact about myself) we don't like being touched bc we didn't grow up with it, so we're struggling in the backseat as one twin practically suffocates us and the other twin drives home.

-🏹

Hihi! I am pretty sure I've gotten that ask, although it didn't have a sign off, it was this premise. (Don't worry about being annoying! I understand the anxiety about tumblr eating asks ^^)

Don't you know it's fight or fly, little wolf - how the twins react to seeing reader out shopping

'It's just groceries, you're fine..' It's repeated like a mantra as you wonder down the aisles, anxiety pooling in your gut and making you queasy. Too bright, too much noise, too many people, every single thing is grating on your already fried nerves. You're constantly reminding yourself that you can do this, that you're just buying what Pam needs, and then leaving. It's simple, you're an adult, you're not having an anxiety attack just because you're shopping and it's crowded-

If you weren't already having a horrible enough time, there's a sudden hand on your back, tightly gripping your hoodie and pressing you up against the aisle you where browsing. "So you are in one piece... Jack has been worrying himself sick, you know?" You have to crane your neck to the side to see your older sibling, Theo standing as close as humanly possible. There's a cold look on their face, frowning disapprovingly at you when they turn you around to be face to face with them. "I think he was starting to go gray, honesty.."

You can't even get a word out between the panic you were already feeling and their sudden presence, momentarily stunned. Theo is too busy checking you over to pay attention to your reaction, scrutizing your form for any injuries before your hoodie is released, vice like grip holding onto your hand instead. You don't even do anything when they start dragging you through the store, only stumbling helplessly behind your older sibling.

When Jack eventually catches sight of you both, you're immediately crushed into a hug that knocks the wind out of you, squirming once you can feel him start to press kisses to the crown of your head, is... is he crying?? He is crying, tears tricking down the man's cheeks as he holds you like you're the most precious thing on the planet. Since when...

"God, where have you been? Are you ok? You're not hurt, right? T- Theo, they aren't hurt?"

"They're fine." Theo huffs, still holding onto you even though Jack has you in a suffacating embrace. "...stop making a scene."

"Ok.. ok.." Your older brother sighs, taking a few breaths to calm himself down. He doesn't let you go however, swinging an arm over your shoulder as they both begin to leave the store with you in tow. "You.. you can come to the apartment, alright? We'll call dad and then-"

That gets your brain to start working again at least, starting to drag your feet and cause Theo to curse as you begin to struggle. "I'm not going anywhere with either of you! Do you seriously think-" Your breath hitches in your throat as a hand wraps around your neck and squeezes.

"He wasn't asking your opinion, he was telling you that's what's happening." Jack has let you go now, standing off to the side as he nervously wrings his hands. It's Theo's intimidating figure standing over you, clutching your neck with a warning glare. "You're not a toddler, but if you don't walk, I'm carrying you out of the store."

Theo sighs when you stubbornly make no move to be cooperative, now carrying you out to the parking lot, uncaring that you're still trying to squirm out of their grip. "Jack, you have to drive.."

The older boy startles when he's addressed, having been trailing you both like a lost puppy until now. "Y- Yeah.." Jack hums meekly, fumbling for the keys in his pocket. He's shaking so bad you're unsure if he'll even be able to pull out from the parking spot, almost dropping the keys as he tries to unlock the doors.

He gets it eventually though, and you're dumped into the backseat, theo caging you back into their arms before you can even try to reach for the handle, the sound of the door slamming shut and locking only sealing your fate.

(a/n: theo would not care if you bite them :> they'll only scoff and use it as evidence against you. You're how old and biting people still?)

[spotaus]

YOU!!! YOU UNDERSTAND!!!! I have been grinning about this since I read it omg...

I'm thinking the dynamics here are that: Night and Dream grew up as twin princes. They always knew one of them would hold the mantle of this great prophecy on their shoulders (eating the apple instead of protecting the tree). Parent situation... probably Nim? Maybe the prophecy required her death to form the apple. Yeah we'll go w/ that. But anyways, Dream and Night were super close, but Dream was always off training with the nights and visiting the village while Night was studying and learning the politics in the castle. Dream would be the hero, the King of Prophecy, and Nightmare was to be his advisor. Dream would take the spotlight and Night would be the brain helping to guide him with the menial tasks. And... they were fine with that! Some people thought Night was jealous or secretly an evil twin, but they adored the idea of ruling like that.

But... Nightmare was reading up one day, studying the prophecy, and... things just didn't line up. The words seemed to imply a sacrifice, one beyond the body of their mother, and death. Lots of it. Hidden beneath flowery language that any commoner wouldn't blink twice at. And Night realized that the only one who could stop this tragedy was the one who ate the apple. Someone not blinded by the falsehoods. And when he went to his mother, the Queen, she pretty much told him he was being crazy and to hush up. It was treason to talk like that.

So he didn't tell Dream. He didn't tell *anyone*. At least, not until later. Not until years later, a month before Dream's coronation and when he'd accept the apple. He was having night terrors and made regular trips to the kitchen for snacks. Ccino was always the one working late, feeding the night-guards coming in from their rounds. He was there when Nightmare whispered his ideas to him in the quiet kitchen, scrolls and books in his arms filled with all the reasons and signs and hints in their past. And it was Ccino who stared at him in a way that Night *knew* he made sense. That he was right.

It was when Night told Dream the next morning, that Dream told him that he had to eat the apple. Their mother had told him that if Night ate it, he'd turn evil. He couldn't be king, because Dream didn't want to lose him. So... Nightmare swore to Dream he wouldn't speak of it again.

On the day of Dream's ceremony, Nightmare was stood beside him as their mother gave her blessing. The prince to eat the apple she created was rightful heir and would hold the power in the prophecy. Her power extended into it as she handed it off to Dream's awaiting hands. ...And when it was formed? When Dream turned towards the crowd for his speech before he bit into it? Nightmare snatched it and took a huge bite. It echoed in the silent hall, and everyone watched in shock as Nightmare was enveloped in the magic. A dark, sloppy, mass of black magic that radiated hatred and fury and fear. All the anxieties Nightmare had had up until this moment washed over everyone. And he announced he, by the law of the land, was now King.

He didn't banish Dream on the spot, no, it was later that day, when Nightmare tried to talk to him in private, when he explained himself again. Dream had been so overwhelmed with fury and betrayal that he'd slammed a nearby candelabra over Nightmare's head. He didn't think it was his brother in there anymore. He was too tall, too well-spoken, too... unfamiliar. The bad energy he radiated made Dream act rashly. And Nightmare, now injured and emotionally drained, realized Dream wouldn't understand. He didn't want his twin to think of him as the villain, but he would, so he left, and declared it that Dream was banished from the kingdom. The act that solidified for everyone that the darker twin was corrupt. Whether he always had been or if his jealous fit had doomed him, he was not the little prince they knew.

And just... idk. His paranoia kicks in once Dream leaves, Ccino helping him, it all piles up after that point! Long enough that Dream has time to grow up and become a man himself!

Night totally just picks his guys in a similar way a kid picks theur favorite superhero or smth, you're so right lol! He sees these people and is like, 'okay, I know they're mean and scary but I think they're cool sooooo.' And then his adult magic justifies it more thoroughly, but God honestly he's putting in blind faith here most of the time. (Plus as Scary Night he has enough power to defend himself so he has some leeway-)

And Dream w/ him like... they were all fine and dandy until a month before his coronation, so he's 100% convinced someone managed to get the ideas into his head during his studies or while he was alone. Night replaces most of the council and servants though, and a lot of nobility is straight up removed, so he keeps trying to narrow down who it was. But then Night hires on violent people to do his work and is sure by then that Night's magic has plans all its own, like a Demon. That he's gathering like, 4 horsemen or smth.

It also hurts Dream a lot when Cross changes sides. There's no word from him, just one day he doesn't come back from his scouting, and Dream is sure Night killed him. Then the next time they get news, Cross is just as loyally by Night's side as he was at Ink's or Dream's. Brainwashing or just loose loyalties he can't tell, but it disheartens him a lot.

And fir the silly bits: YES- Error definitely has that moment of 'Dude, the King is really really cool and- ohhhh wait. Ohh noooo.' And then has like, a very short-lived crisis before deciding it's all or nothing until the confession that I think happens after they get Night back from Dream. Then Night doesn't realize it until even after the confession. Like, one of those, "Now is NOT the time, can we PLEASE go home???" Moments and he is unaware that's usually a rejection. He talks it over with Ccino and Ccino is like, 'M'lord, no disrespect, but Error is probably avoiding you because you basically rejected him.' And Night like. Rips out of the lounge they're in and straight towards Error's tower in a flustered mess because !!! they were overwhelmed !!! of course he likes Error!!! Abd so he clears it up after the fact lmao-

And the Geno and Fresh stuff!! Geno definitely bonds w/ Reaper over the treaty attempts, because Reaper would notice a steep decline in Geno's work and general wellbeing after he gets the letters from people saying Error is missing. He can't abandon his work, of course, but Reaper would confront him and Geno would spill that his hazard of a little brother ran away. Reaper would sympathize and offer to search like u said. And just. Geno decides he likes Reaper a bit more when he does actually start handling business, and Reaper though Geno was stunning and very enjoyable to be around the moment he met him so like... slow burn while having other stuff going on.

And exactly! Fresh was supposed to watch Error, but Error was living at the academy when Geno left so Fresh was on a trip for his own stuff. Completely unaware that Error got expelled, and completely unaware he left the house empty for him to cone back to. Geno is 100% furious with him and Fresh is also regularly looking for Error or word of him while he's out, but he loses the trail in one city and doesn't hear anything again. (City where the hiring of the Wizard went on.) So Fresh thinks Error is dead, and feels guilty af all the time, but has to roll with the punches.

And... hmm. Yeah. Ccino is definitely like the guardian of pretty much everyone in the castle at this point, but especially Night. (He's also a big part of Nightmare's recovery from Dream too, because Dream doesn't remember the faces of any servants (spoiled kid raised that way) so Ccino is like... a perfect operative to help sneak around and gather info.) Ccino would die for his little friend, and I do think it's an insanely sweet friendship between them. Ccino is also in charge of all the cats that live across the castle grounds. He doesn't own them, but they keep out mice and he gives them treats so they tend to end up flocking to him 🙏

Bad wip of that au I was talking about 🙏

(It's MY au so I get to put Error in a stupid wizard fit!!!)

[becauseimanicequeen]

I have similar feelings about YakDee's kiss, it seemed to me that it shouldn't have been in that episode, idk. That line Wandee threw at Yak was painful: "Why are you all about violence?". (understanding that Yak is a boxer and it's a family thing, what he's done all his life), Dee is literally criticizing what he does for a living and considers him violent bc of it. And they didn't talk about it before the kiss, ugh. For you, what would have been the "perfect" moment for their first kiss?

Hi, Anon.

I haven't thought about what my ideal moment for their kiss would look like. But I will take the opportunity now with your ask. So...

In my ideal Wandee Goodday world, Dee would've comforted Yak about losing the match with words first and then apologized for his outburst. Yak, in his vulnerable state, would've said he wanted Dee back because he likes him and Dee would've realized he's not the only one feeling stuff in this situationship/relationship/fwb thing.

Then Dee would kiss Yak to show his own feelings. Yak might've said something like "But I lost the game." because he's dumb (and I love him dearly for it), and Dee would've said it had nothing to do with the bet.

Then kisses galore, and I don't care that it was in a public space with other people around, lol.

All of that didn't have to be in the same episode, btw. They could've ended this episode with Yak and Oyei's fight and begun the next one with Dee looking for Yak (maybe even showing up a the gym and finding out the brothers had a fight). And then, when he found Yak, that whole scene could have played out. That way it could've felt less rushed as well.

And for the love of everything holy, the title song would not play during the moment! Like I wrote in the other post, I like the title track, but not during their first kissing scene (or any other kissing scene, for that matter). Just... no.

Maybe there should've been a talk about Taem and Ter somewhere in there before the kiss as well, but my brain is fried after only getting 3 hours of sleep last night, so I don't know...

Thank you for your ask.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 2: Race, Disability, and Class. The films in Unit 2 are: The Way He Looks (2014), Being 17 (2016), Naz and Maalik (2015), The Obituary of Tunde Johnson (2019), Margarita With a Straw (2014), My Beautiful Laundrette (1985), Brother to Brother (2004), and Beautiful Thing (1996)

Today I will be writing about

My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) dir. Stephen Frears

[Run Time: 1:37, Available- Amazon, Hulu, Language: English]

Summary: “An ambitious Pakistani Briton and his white boyfriend strive for success and hope when they open a glamorous laundromat.” (from IMDB)

Cast: * Daniel Day-Lewis as Johnny * Gordon Warnecke as Omar

___

Hmm. Okay so, before I get too far in to this, I feel like this film was the hardest one for me to follow from a plot standpoint (so far). There were a lot of little things happening that took a bit for me to really understand, and that caused some challenges in how I engaged with this film. I will admit at this point that this was a movie I probably need more historical context for (ie some of the political commentary in the film, the state of Britain at the point in which this film was made, etc.) but my brain is fried from life stuff, and I do not have the energy to do that research right now. 

gif by @itsmyfriendisaac

Fundamentally, I do think there is something extremely interesting in the role reversals here of the Pakistani immigrant family being the richer, more successful characters, compared to the white people in the film. And this makes sense because what I was able to get through the movie is the racism that came out of Pakistani immigrants moving to Britain, establishing lives, and then becoming the scapegoats for the suffering of poor white people (when obviously they are not the actual problem). 

Omar comes alive at the thought of getting to make something out of his life, rather than just be a caretaker for his father. A father who has become a victim to the racism and vitriol he has witnessed in Britain. A man who gave compassion, advice, care to young white boys only to see them march against him when they grew up. 

I loved the visual commentary about how women can be forgotten, every time that Nasser’s wife walked by a room, quiet, unnoticed, and soaking in all this information about Omar, Tania, and Nasser’s affair. 

I did love the visual commentary around ever looming danger. This standstill that Johnny’s old crew came to with Johnny, Omar, and the laundrette. A show of numbers, a threat of violence, that never triggered because there was no reason to do so. Johnny still had power and influence over his white friends, and that kept them quiet. But they loom. They are an ever present danger that Omar just ignores. Omar and Johnny continue to live their lives, build out the laundrette, try to achieve success despite the ever present danger. Which is as strong as a visual metaphor you can get towards existing as a part of one or more oppressed groups. 

I like that fundamentally, Omar did all of this to show his Dad that he could be successful. Because he wanted to show his father that everything he’d heard said about him by the white boys he went to school with, and by Britain were wrong. That he was successful, and he had white people working for him. And how that is only revealed when Omar and Johnny have done the work of selling coke, refurbishing the entire place, and then opening it. I like that Omar’s father does not consider his son opening this laundrette as a success, because he wants Omar to be educated. Because he understands the importance of education, and how a lack of education makes people susceptible to propaganda. I also appreciate that Omar was spared from hearing that. 

I love that Omar and Johnny’s feelings for eachother are never really disguised. Like, if you are queer, you can see from the second they are reunited that those two have almost certainly fucked before. But that good old fashioned heteronormativity is what really seems to shield them from suspicion by most people (besides Tania it seems). 

And for as brutal of a beating as it was, I did genuinely enjoy the scene both for the commentary around how no one really is ever safe. That once your former in-group decides you are now part of the out-group, you are no longer safe. And further, that Omar very adamantly, casually, and happily took care of Johnny and treated his wounds and did not let him leave because he does love Johnny. I love that the film ends with the two of them in the laundrette, with Omar kissing the back of Johnny’s neck, in front of a couple shattered windows. Why? Because for me, it speaks volumes about how Omar views his relationship to Johnny and the world. He treats Johnny rather than worrying about his laundrette, because he loves Johnny, and Johnny is hurt. The windows can be replaced. 

gif by @oscarskirt

For/By/About 

By and About 

The writer of the film is bisexual, and the main characters are queer, which puts it in a By and About Queers category. I am on the fence about the For Queer people, because again, with most of the films in Unit 2, I feel like the Race, Disability, and Class aspects of the film are more of the central voice. For My Beautiful Laundrette, the race and class aspects seem like the heavier hitters, but the reason I’m on the fence is because there are some aspects of Johnny and Omar’s relationship that aren’t verbalized that I feel like may only be picked up on (easily) by a queer audience. 

Favorite Scene 

gif by @eriklehnsherryes

I really loved the scene where Johnny and Omar are fucking in the back room while Nessan and Rachel are dancing inside the laundrette. I appreciated that it felt like it was used to highlight the legitimacy of both of their relationships/love for one another. And that both fucking (and spitting champagne in to Omar’s mouth) could be presented in a way that felt romantic because it was paralleled to a couple dancing lovingly together. 

Favorite Quote

“We must all have knowledge if we are to see what is being done to whom in this country” 

A quote said by Omar’s dad to Johnny. I like it because it addresses what I think is the core of this film. And it shows in very few words, why he ended up this way, why he wants Omar to go to college, and where his ideology and life experience lies. 

Score

8/10 

I think this film falls to the classic blunder of trying to say too many things in too short of a time. As a result, we only get glimpses in to characters, and it is harder for me to see and understand their motivations.

[ioannemos]

tagged by @dangerously-human a week ago... thank you 🧡

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs (or, you know, as many as you feel like, but keep in mind Tumblr only lets tags stick anymore for the first five people mentioned in a post).

i have sooooooo many wips. so many. here are the ten most recent

(i'm adding the first line(s) of each (ignoring the numerous epigraphs) for reasons)

01. the buzz of a saw

> csi au, the setting for which that only my sister would understand without extensive explanation (sandstorm, babey)

Time falls in yellow-white sparks, reopening potholes as they skitter across the streets, turning trees back into saplings, and reversing the years on roofs.

02. Victors

> prospect

Banging against the ladder. Rhythmic, insistent. Maybe trying to get her attention.

03. certain kinds of deaths

> ...the bear au. no i have never watched the show

It’s around midnight in the middle of the week when the guy shows up.

04. so tell me you're still here

> national treasure

He’s opened the phone and put it to his ear before his eyes are even open.

05. Manifest

> is this an au of an au? is this basically original fiction with names that belong to an au of a video game i've never played? all i know is it's 8k words of weird post-apocalypse world building and making a guy Come to Terms with Being Perceived

I swore in surprise and dismay as I pulled Trooper to an abrupt halt at the top of the hill; he sidled and snorted, picking up on my unease.

06. Interlinked

> blade runner 2049

The thin layer of white compacts under his boots.

07. those who keep silent

> pacific rim au

They say you stumbled out of the surf, bleeding and whispering your brother’s name.

08. monster

> grimm au

You learn fast. You have to, when they could be around every corner.

09. silence like darkness

> stargate: atlantis

“Keep- k-keep-”

Words fly overhead before being diced to pieces by radio interference, the tread of boots, the smack of leaves, the calls of birds; pressure and heat and friction scrape over his skin like shark teeth, and flickering light bears down on his closed eyes like a heavy weight.

10. Naissance

> detroit: become human

“I’m sorry,” the woman says. “They- It sounds so- is racist the proper word? -but honestly, they do all look alike.”

tagging uhhh anyone who's been writing who wants to talk about their wips... idk who's writing rn. @morfinwen ? @sunheart ? i'm so tired and my brain is fried

[smuglilbro]

after spending the night learning how a real dom acts, big sis plans a date with her new boyfriend, ready to use everything her little brother taught her

but, when big sis starts to use what she was taught, all she can think about is her little brother. every difference between the two boys, how her brother whines differently, how he demands differently, everything.

of course, big sis still loves her boyfriend, but... her little brother is always near her, readily available, and hes so... perfect for her.

thats when she introduces chastity to her boyfriend. its all part of a bigger plan. she gets him all locked up, but, she still needs to have some fun, right? so she mentions a threesome, and how she knows the perfect boy for it.

imagine the look of surpise and arousal on her boyfriends face when he goes to her house, and opens the door to find her fucking her little brothers face...

"god he just feels so good... such a good puppy for me! good puppies deserve treats!" so she makes her boyfriend rim her little brother, but, big sis quickly becomes bored...

so, as thanks for making all of this happen, she gifts her little brother a new hole to fuck! her boyfriend!

"i do love you, really babe, but... my little brother is just... so much better than you. his cock is bigger than yours, hes a more stupid puppy than you... hes always ready to fuck me or get fucked by me... im sure you understand, right? call me a cheater if you want, hes what im doing when i say im busy."

~🩷👑

I taught you how to dom, but after that we both know most of the time was spent with me on top of you and making sure you know you're allowed allowed to dom when I say you are.

But your poor boyfriend? He has no idea what a cuck he'd become. You spent every night that week canceling plans just to bounce on my dick or bend over my bed!

So, when you offered the threesome? I couldn't refuse. After all, your boyfriend was a pretty cute guy, and once he started doing as you said? It was all over for him.

I mount him like the studpuppy you know I am, making him squeal and whimper and moan as I pump my thick cock in and out of his poor hole over and over. By the time I finish he's left full of cum, legs twitching, and poor little brain practically fried.

Can't let him ruin the fun, though. I tell you to bend over, show him how a real buttslut takes a cock like mine~

[mojaves]

🤥💥🍟🌺☀️🙉🏊✂️ 💚 for luci :3 (i wanted to send more but. that's a lot skdkfkfkfk u don't have to answer all if u don't want to!)

LUCI MY SWEET BABY BOY LUCI. i am linking eveyrone to this post. you will look at him again.

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

oh he is a Very bad liar. but in the way where like, if you weren't looking at him, it would be fine. but. the second you look at his face. he's like this. so. he's not doing very well.

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

literally any emotion if it's strong enough, it can get too overwhelming too fast to the point where he physically Cannot stop wriggling around or rocking or whatever and just has to go and lie down until his brain stops vibrating and screaming. usually he can stop it before it gets to that point, but it requires a lot of energy and sometimes he's just Too Tired for it. which makes him worse. and even More tired. and then he just wants to be held for the rest of the day.

🍟 FRIES - do they order food often? or they prefer to cook their own food?

prefers to cook his own food 1000% bc there are So many things he cant eat or they will kill him dead on the ground in one way or another. he does try out a lot of new recipes so he's not restricted to just a Few safe foods, he just knows how to adjust things in a way that wont have him on the bathroom floor for the next three days AND still taste good

🌺 HIBISCUS - do they have any allergies?

no allergies necessarily but. a few food intolerences. i have to let him enjoy Something WEHJDGGHJS

☀️ SUN - are they a morning person? what is the first thing they do in the morning?

DEFINITELY a morning person. he always does a few stretches then has a shower and Then makes himself breakfast. always has to be in that exact order and has been for YEARS. and if he does it wrong or misses a step he is very thrown off for the rest of the day, which luckily very very rarely happens. even if he's gonna be late for work and is in a rush to leave he will simply speedrun everything

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

ohfgyduhgdhsg being called childish or naive or immature. like Yes he can be very loud sometimes and can have meltdowns very easily. sometimes he does Not understand things people are saying to him, or he cant put things into words or even Speak somedays. yes he still likes playing with toys sometimes and running around in circles at the park. but that doesnt mean he's incapable of holding down a job and being professional. he is a security guard and he is Very good at what he does!!! he even becomes a music teacher part time later on in the story [: basically anyone underestimating him bc of how he acts WILL make him cry. oh and also anyone calling his brother a monster. theres a lot to unpack there that i shant get into here but he will tear you apart with his teeth if you talk about his brother like that

🏊 SWIMMING - can they swim? or are they afraid of water? how well do they swim? how do they feel about swimming in the ocean?

he LOOOOVES swimming. so much. very fun summer activity and it's also very relaxing for him. it helps him clear his head and burn off any extra AHFDZKJFHJFGSDG!!!! energy he still has in him so he can Relax later. he does like swimming in the ocean but is a liiiittle bit scared of getting swept out to sea somehow so he always sticks VERY close to the beach. would much rather swim in a lake.

✂️ SCISSORS - what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

it took him Years to finally get the confidence to cut people off, bc people generally took advantage of how kind and caring he was. he would give people So many chances, bc he wanted them to like him and Not think he was a freak [which he had been bullied for a LOT!!! growing up] so he was desperately clinging onto literally any bit of attention his 'friends' would give him. eventually, after starting a new job that he Likes, and working with so many good people, AND finding his brother again, he managed to build up enough confidence to just. completely shut down a conversation if someone isn't treating him with the respect he deserves. if theyre being an asshole to him for literally No reason, he will walk away. he doesnt need that. he doesnt have time for that anymore!!! he's got better things to do. like kissing his boyfriend.

idk what the last straw would be necessarily but you would have to fuck up SEVERELY. for him to never want to speak to you again.

💚 GREEN HEART - what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?

HUGS AND KISSES 100000000% it's about the closeness and the pressure and having someone's whole weight on top of him. works better than a weighted blanket. it makes him calm down SO fast every time. i cannot explain this but it makes sense in my brain. sometimes he just wants to be in a coccoon and i think he should be allowed.

[cas-coding]

My brother in christ...your post about trans Jack was so real fr fr.... like, cas not understanding the minutia of gender and the trans experience for humans but understanding that Jack is a boy and just leaving it at that. I got it as (forgive me if I'm wrong) Cas learning everything he knows about the topic from Dean who is pretty cagey about it and uses as few words as possible when he has to discuss it. Cas knowing that its a human taboo to discuss things like this without the person briging it up themselves and jack not knowing it was something he had to ask about, not knowing how humans understabd it. Cas knowing that Jack being a boy is indisputable but not knowing that Jack himself doesn't know this in the sense that he doesn't know anything about gender and everything, he just knows he's a boy. God, something about trans dean being a dad to trans Jack is just so gkdigstsotsots.

Sorry if this was impossible to understand, my brain is fried from uni exams but your trans dean makes my brain go bzz bzzzzz

oh my god thank you so much i literally love reading your comments,,,, strap in for my long analysis where i share every detail of my thought process with you akdfjdalgj

i've been absolutely devouring trans!jack fics lately and i felt like the thing they always get wrong is that cas doesn't understand human gender and i really don't think he ever will. i'm so glad the detail that he learned everything from dean and realized how essential gender is to some people from dean came across, because that's exactly what i intended!! cas just knows that it's really important to dean that he's a man and dean hates talking about how important it is that he's a man, so cas applies the same rules to his conversation with jack

obviously biology is weird for jack because he's half angel but the general thing that kind of went on with him (and i didnt find a way to fit this in the first draft but it might go in the ao3 version of this story, but who knows when i'll get that up) is that he feels like a boy but got his concept of gender completely from his bond with cas, so he molded himself after cas. the bits of cas he can't see... well he assumed he and cas had the same bits. they do not. but jack's grace starts to fade and he gets his period and ugh,,,,

usually i dont like writing sam because he always feels kind of awkward to me (chalk it up to jarpad's bad acting, because sam really is a cool character) but here he felt like he had a purpose??? he is essentially pulling jack back to earth and being kind of a mediator for it all, knowing dean is the better option for something like this because sam is the one who helped dean through his trans discovery, and just knowing that it's not his place to speak on it because he doesn't understand. i eat up trans!sam fics but he's written as cis here for a reason,,,,,,, and it kind of pained me but he was doing the actual intelligent ally thing: he called a trans person and was like hey! you're gonna be better at this than me, and i care about this person, so i'm calling on better help than i can give,,, and honestly i adore him for that

finally dean??? where do i start with dean.,,,,,, he is so repressed. deeply. and i tried to write it so that was obvious, the way he kind of stumbles his way through the biology lesson and says that it's awkward and tries to wiggle his way out of it but he also knows it's not about him. he understands that jack needs him, and he isn't forced to come out to jack, isn't forced to tell him anything personal, but he does, because he knows it will help jack. selfless!dean for the win,,,,,, because at his core, dean is a caretaker and im so mad that they didnt do that in the show between jack and dean. i feel like dean is meant to nurture and raise and take care of and coach jack and i took my opportunity here. dean kept the conversation light and i just loved the silly scene where jack is like "im not a real boy" and dean is like "well am i a real boy" and jack is like "yes of course!!" and dean is like "haha checkmate" obviously thats not the dialogue but i feel like that is peak dean and jack and i hate that the show didnt give that to us. anyway

tldr everyone in the show is trans even tho sam was cis ally here, cas will never understand gender, jack is going thru it, and dean is a caretaker at heart

also i love you have a wonderful day i loved answering this <33

[sebrrari]

Hi! If it's okay to ask, what's the context behind the tags you have (honeycomb; dandelion) for certain drivers? They're really nice!!

hi omg this is so nice! also there's another anon in my inbox about this - if it was you sorry i took longer to answer!!! i wanted to be on my computer for this so i could type this all out! and if it wasn't you hi other anon, thanks for being so patient!!!

ok so basically - it's a hold over from being on tumblr in like 2010. [insert "back in my day" anecdote here]. the tagging system was waaaay different back then, and if you didn't want your posts (even reblogs) to show up in the main tag (that antis combed to reblog and hate on stuff, or maybe you just wanted some goddamn privacy), people made their own tags so that they could search just that.

also, it's fun.

here's what mine mean to me - i’m the kind of person that operates very much off of vibes, so some of these are more literal and some of these are just absolute bullshit that i came up with in my soup brain. 

lewis hamilton: #dandelion - something that can grow even in the toughest of conditions. people often treat these like weeds, but they're some of the most nutritious (for humans and for other plants), easy to cultivate, and beautiful flowers in the northern hemisphere. in flower symbology, they're a symbol of hope, growth, and healing. their little seeds can travel for over a kilometer to bring life to more than just themselves. maybe you can see where i'm going with this.

sebastian vettel: #honeycomb - a marvel of nature. bees created something that took man thousands of years to understand. symbolically, beehives represent cooperation - and the fact that a hive of bees can create such a flawless, useful structure on their own and for their use just amazes me. obviously, seb and bees. but more than that, the way that bees are remarkably adaptable. and a wonder of the natural world. and that honeycomb structures are physically hardy and able to be scaled up and up without losing the core that it began with. something like that. 

daniel ricciardo: #sweet and sour - this one is a little silly. sweet and sour is my favorite type of dipping sauce (thai sweet chili, honey fermented garlic, plum sauce, etc.). it goes with anything. sometimes it seems out of place, but it can make or break a taste profile (yeah i’m going with the tasting notes for something you dip french fries in sue me). it’s a rare combination in nature, but when you find it it’s an absolute treat. think kiwis, key limes, meyer lemons. little gems of their own that don’t always get enough credit. 

charles leclerc: #the taste of paradise - lyrics from “sad child” by brother leo and sandro cavazza which is on pierre’s f1 spotify playlist. charles is like a character you wish you wrote. he’s born from greatness, in a place that lots of people consider a paradise of excess. he’s gifted from the start. his nickname is literally something out of a YA fantasy coming of age book. but when you’ve had the taste of paradise and then have bad luck and struggles and loss like he has, does it taste bitter? does he resent the thing he’s experienced and the places he’s come from? is all worth the chase of his paradise (the championship)? i love my little depression, angst, and burdened by destiny mouse. mwah

nico rosberg: #crown prince - he’s racing royalty. he was in line to be the next crowned since the day he put his ass in a kart seat. but his life is forever intertwined with a challenger for his throne. the befriend each other and they are at each other’s throats. he gets his crown, but then quits the sport entirely. he just needed to catch the golden ring. but did the then get to let go? or is he still sagging under the weight of greatness? 

lewis/nico: #violent delights - they have violent ends, bro. like fire and powder which as they kiss consume, bro!

max/daniel: #equinox - when i first joined f1 there was a beautiful series of art pieces going around of drivers as tarot cards, and the artist cast max as the moon and daniel as the sun. i was obsessed with it. i love the idea of them as polar opposites, traveling on the track over and over again, day after day, and it’s not clear who is chasing who. and an equinox is the day in a year where they’re perfectly balanced when day and night are of equal(ish) length. they are equals on those days, neither of them winning or losing the chase. 

seb/mark: #whether the medicine is enough - i was writing analytics and found this bonkers quote from mark that he gave after the 2013 malaysian grand prix. he says he’s going to go surfing as medicine to soothe the wound of multi-21. and he doesn’t know if it will be enough to let it go. i think “whether x is enough” is a theme in the way i dissect martian. is their love enough, their raw attraction enough, their manners, their forgiveness, their history enough to see them through to a place where they can stay together? i say yes, because they’re down so fucking bad for each other. but i love to pull at the threads that they’ve woven together to grow close and see which one might be loose. 

daniel/charles: #true blues - the saying means “the real thing.” the fall out boy song ginasfs twists it to mean true blues as in true sadness, true longing, blue eyes, nostalgia, going out with a bang, not being able to let go of something that was just a flash in the pan for someone else. i love taking their vegas trip and projecting on it, basically. see: there is a ghost at the end of this song.

thank you so much for asking and sorry this is a fucking essay!!!! and if there's a driver or ship that i blog about but haven't made a tag for yet, it's because inspiration hasn't struck. my smick and my sebastidan and my michael schumacher tags are desperate for a personal touch but i just haven't found the ones.

[himbos-hotline]

*drops in here*

You're into 9-1-1 too?!

(also I feel you on the memory issue my brain is currently fried)

*picks you up cuz ya shouldnt just be dropped thats MEAN! who dropped my friend?!*

I LOVE 9-1-1- !! Where dya think I got the name Evan from! I used to use Buck as a shorterning of the name Buckley for,,,,reasons. Now its Buck short for Buckshot, But evan is one of my favourite names that I use! The new series has already made me cry and we're only two episodes in. I keep seeing everyone getting really upset about coma!Buck and I dont understand it, I think it was done correctly and so personally. People really focus on love like its a one-sided romantic thing and 9-1-1 taking the twist on that to focus on the fact that Buck saved Bobby because in all honesty, Buck showed Bobby what it was like to love again and not only love himself again but to love a child who never had that father figure.

Buck figuring out to be happy. He just has to be buck. and Buck will always BE ENOUGH BECAUSE HE IS HIM! Is so fucking important. Being told something youre entire life/something that alters you entire life, like how buck was nothing but spare parts that screwed up, has so affect on a person. Buck started to believe that, the villian of his coma dream being his own anxiousness/inability to accept that he's enough and that he doesnt have to fix everything and that he didnt fail his brother or his family, he was just a child.

I have to rewatch the episode to get like a GOOD grasp on it because I spent half the time sobbing over it. But I am kinda glad we didnt get Buddie this episode. We got the fire fam mourning someone who now is such an intergral part of it, it doesn't feel whole. Sure eddie was the one who outwardly mourned the most [not counting bobby here because god I have never wanted to just cry more] Maube ill do a breakdown on the episode and see the hate fill my inbox because Im happy that they focused on fathers and on familys and on moving on.

The entire theme of closure in that episode and closure not being like a one and done thing- its omething that takes time and is gonna hurt and youre gonna feel like youre pulling teeth and its gonna feel hopeless and useless and terrified but at the same time its gonna be so rewarding at least a little bit, small things like bucks mother measuring the floor for a counch so her son is comfortable NOT so his house looks complete mean so much to people who have had parents/caregivers not care or not outwardly show them love. Chim lettign his father stay a few more days because he knows that the relationship the two of them have is shattered, he doesnt wanna pass that onto Jee. He may be her father but that doesn't mean that she has to get his rage in her bloodstream. Trauma shouldnt be passed down through generations, but it is. But its also possible to stop that cycle.

as someone whose had a relationship with his mother much like chim and his father. Seeing the "I dont forgive you but im not going to make my daughter hate you the way I do. She isn't me, I am not her." is so heartbreakingly calming. Moving on isn't always accceptance. Sometimes its just, getting used to their presence again.

[drzootsuit]

I need you all to understand I was showing my brother a funny comment on one of the derpibooru uploads of my work, and I got curious about the various other booru uploads of this stuff... And someone on one of the weird pony booru forks had commented on this with "Leftists: wordswordswords" which like... I think I might have gone crosseyed laughing. This guy saw a single paragraph of text and, regardless of literally any context, leapt immediately to "wtf why is leftist comedy so wordy" This motherfucker's fried-ass gorilla brain looks at the menu at burger king and goes "man fucking leftoids cant make a joke". He's reading the nutritional brick on the back of his shampoo bottle and going "the left cant meme". Like it's already fucking braindead, but the fact that he commented it on something that has literally nothing to do with his point whatsoever is fucking killing me. He saw text and his brain got mad???

[ajdrawshq]

Yo I've been really out of the loop with KH stuff but I took a look at some of the official localizations cause I was curious about the changes and NOW I'm curious if the community like raised an eyebrow at all at the whole 'world where unversed come from thing'??? The wording about it on Terra and Vanitas' files still make me go?? I wanna know if the theory people closed in on that cause I only barely speculate and I'm lowkey losing my mind that it wasn't a mistranslation actually

Omg ok so first off i read this like 3 times and went "wAIT WHAT DO U MEAN THEY MENTION AN UNVERSED WORLD" despite Terra's and Vanitas' stories being the ones i read the most (other than Repli's,,) so that tells u exactly how much info i retain from anything ever,

SECONDLY this is actually interesting to me and despite following quite a few kh theorists i have Not seen anyone even blink at this at all - tho i hadnt looked on twitter much when they first came out so i could be wrong. Either way, first time im hearing it so thanks for that n props for being the first to say anything abt it to my knowledge! Also wanna mention that i never actually read most of the chara files before the official translation (i think i read Repliku, Riku n Demyx n just. Never went to the rest) so by ur wording that was a thing even before this stuff was released??? How am i just now finding this out ,, BUT YEAH GETTING TO THE STUFF IN THE CHARACTER FILES BC IM VERY INTRIGUED.. i'll include whatever may or may not be relevant to this topic

From Terra's character file: "If the Realm of Darkness was what Aqua had fallen into, where was I? . . . Maybe that place wasn't even darkness, but the realm of nothingness. A realm with neither light nor darkness. . . I wasn't in the world of sleep, in a dream, but rather a world of nothing, and yet it existed. Because of this, pain, sadness, and hatred became nothingness and attacked me. . . Maybe this place resembled the world of the Unversed. A void that swallowed even sadness and pain. A world where hope and joy had never existed to begin with."

And from Vanitas': "Unversed--meaning ones who aren't well versed with life. What the heck does that actually mean? . . . This monster was both me and not me. . . I dont need to know which is light and which is darkness. Not just light, not just darkness. . . I came from the void and am returning to it. What's the void? It's neither darkness nor light, more like an abyss. Good night, Ventus."

... good god is there a lot to unpack here. Like a Lot a lot. Im gonna try to stay on topic here but no guarentees bc we are talking about Terra and Vanitas and the biggest coolest parallel tie thing that i never even thought about before, both between them and between two kh monsters that i didnt think would be linked and the relationships between different worlds and realms and nmmmmmmmm yeah im just gonna write down every observation i have from this sorry in advance for length

Ok. The most obvious connection between the two is both mentioning the void. This, according to what u pointed out and being backed up by Terra's observation, is or is similar to the world where Unversed originate, or where they reside. Now at first I thought that would be a weird thought bc like, dont the Unversed come from Vanitas?? But Vanitas talks about how he also came from that void, so the idea of it being the world of Unversed isnt out of the picture. But also, Vanitas is supposed to come from Darkness, right? Did Darkness come from this void as well? Or is it the void itself? But that would be weird, because the void isnt darkness nor light - and they make a point to say that mulitple times, which is interesting. What the fuck even is this void?

Thing is, the way they - especially Terra - talk about it (and bc i recently played thru kh2's ending again as if id somehow known it would come in handy) reminded me of this:

A place of neither dark nor light, an abyss, where emotions never existed, with creatures that embody nothingness. Plus the fact that Terra has ties to Xemnas, whom you fight here (was Terra here too, somewhere?). Theres gotta be a connection. I have no doubts about this. My only question would be just.. why?? With Unversed being the literal embodiments of emotions while Nobodies completely lack those, its kind of weird to think that their origins might be connected in some way. Or maybe not their origins, but theres.. something. We think of Heartless and Nobodies as counterparts, but Unversed might have bigger a place in there than we know. I might even argue that Nobodies and Unversed have a more distinct tie than the previous duo according to these files. Whether theyre also counterparts, polar opposites, or possibly even of similar nature..

Oh, on a related note, I included Vanitas' "both me and not me" quote for a number of reasons - one being the above. Im not saying the Unversed and Nobodies are actually the same thing (probably. Probably) but the way Terra described emotions turning into nothingness which then attacked him, adding on Unversed being described as those who arent well versed with life (which even Vanitas doesnt really understand, and those things come from him) like. Theres something here. The other reason i included the quote was i think it actually seems like a cool parallel to Terra, Xemnas, and Xehanort, which felt relevant enough to add here

Also noting the reason for why i included Vanitas' last line there, i couldnt help but be reminded of something from re:com:

I also think its interesting that Terra knows of the sleeping worlds, which makes me wonder if he ever had experience with them since hes aware that he isnt among those (outside of what he may know/remember from Xemnas..? Im not sure how strong their connection is)

But back to the Unversed world itself, why does Vanitas say hes going back to a place without darkness or light when hes supposed to Be Darkness (or part of it, at least)? Thats like one of the main things thats really getting me here. Is the void, the world of nothingness, where everything came from or came to be? Cuz if THE Darkness came from the place, its gotta go way back.

Ohhhhhh no im thinking way too much abt this but. A world of nothingness. It shouldnt exist, but it does. Yknow what else shouldnt and technically doesnt exist but somehow also does? Unreality. Fiction. Where MoM, who has been at war with Darkness (who has relation to Vanitas) for the past fuck knows how many centuries, was last seen. (Wheres that one pic of the dude with the corkboard going nuts thats exactly what i feel like rn.)

The void is related to nothingness, but are those related to the worlds of fiction? Do light and dark exist in unreality? If so, do they have the same relationship as within reality? Is any of this stuff related? I dont fucking know!!!!!!!!! Im going to lay facedown on my bed and contemplate this for the rest of my life

[wildelydawn]

Porchay/Kim Thoughts

Looking for some meta discussion here, so feel free to hijack, respond, or tag me in a similar post/discussion:

Now that I’ve cleared my head, I can’t help but notice the parallels between Vegas gifting Porsche with a bike and Kim gifting Porchay with the guitar. What do we think? A part of me is thinking this is love bombing on both Vegas and Kim’s part. And I guess its pretty obvious from the previous episodes and this one that Vegas is trying to buy (or maybe force is the better word) Porsche through this constant affection. I mean, they didn’t even finish the mission, and the man goes and buys him a bike.

But I’d be hypocritical to say that Kim isn’t doing the same, no? Yeah, Porchay has some talent, and I think in episode 5, Kim is like, moderately surprised by that talent, but to show up, unannounced, with a brand new guitar?? Hmm, seems like the same energy to me.

Where I believe there is a divergence between the two is after Kim finds out about the parents’ deaths and the shrine: especially the shrine because he looks kind of guilty. 

This is the second time he’s interacted with Porchay with a clear mission in mind and then subsequently abandoned that mission (from our understanding at least.) Vegas never forgets the mission: to take everything away from Kinn. Kim, on the other hand, seems to question his mission all the damn time (which tbh I still don’t know what it is??)

But then the scene of Kim asking Porchay to write a love song seems like another moment of lovebombing/manipulation. Yeah, it’s sweet as hell, but I’m so wary. He did violate Porchay’s privacy and now has information about Porchay’s affections towards him. 

But, I think Kim asking Porchay to write about someone he loves is a genuine moment because they were previously working on a song about Porsche, and it seems like that’s been completely abandoned (god, Kim, what is the MISSION.) Instead, Kim wants Porchay to write about someone he’s in love with. And Kim’s encouraging him to do that. If Kim was more manipulative, wouldn’t he continue to press Porchay to write about his brother some more?

It’s tearing me apart because like, is it love bombing, is it not??? idk homies, my brain is fried. I am so so invested in that cafe scene and I wonder if that’s when Kim is going to come clean because he does not seem like he can keep up this ruse any longer.

[xx-lemon-drop-xx]

A handful of the demon brothers w/reader on her period. Includes Lucifer, Mammon, Satan, and Asmodeus.

Warnings: probably ooc as fuck. This is my first time writing for things, and I'm not all too far in the game yet. Sorry if it's short, too. I'm trying my best-

Lucifer

This man is Prepared.

Fat chance he'll let you stay home from RAD, though.

You have cramps? He has heating pad.

You have muscle aches? He has human world pain killers.

Bloating? Come sit on his lap while he does paperwork, he'll rub your stomach.

Out of pads or tampons? He ain't shy, Lucifer will go and grab some more for you if you don't want too.

Bled out? Lucifer has spare bed sheets, no need to worry.

Bled out in public? Lucifer is already handing his big coat over to you, ushering you to hide your bloodied bottom from prying eyes.

Mood swings? Err... At least he's kinda patient?

"(Name), don't use that language with me." -Sigh- "Come, sit on my lap.. There you go. Here, take these. They'll help your cramps."

Mammon

Unprepared. Very very reckless. But, you love him anyways.

He's learning. Mammon will let you sit in his car with him and cuddle you if that's what you need. (Although he'll act huffy about it first, he needs to show off his toughness.)

Will reluctantly get you pads or tampons. Waits until no one's in the aisle and usually comes back with the wrong size.

Mammon's brain fries the first time you bleed out. He isn't angry you bled all over his treasured car- he's terrified at how much blood your loosing.

You will need to remind him it's normal to loose this much blood.

Carries around a bottle of aspirin after the first time you got cramps.

Will steal food from Beel if your having some sort of cravings. Mammon will deal with the consequences later.

"Oiii!! Human, I got yer coochie cushions- ehh?? Whattya mean they're the wrong size??"

Satan

He's a prepared one.

Satan already knows basic human biology.

He already is more than aware of your warning signs, not to mention he can smell your blood already.

Another brother that goes everywhere with painkillers on him.

Sitting on his lap while he reads and massages your stomach is a normality.

While he's wrathful- Satan always makes sure to remind himself during this state your hormonal. He always apologizes if he accidentally snaps at you.

Will run to the store for pads and tampons. In fact, he'll even ask another girl in the aisle for help choosing.

He keeps some chocolates and other snacks for you in a box next to his bed.

"(Name), come here. This blanket is nice and warm- I'll read to you a bit. Did you take the Tylenol I gave you?..Good girl."

Asmodeus

He knows a bit about periods.

Not the type to carry around pain relievers, but he'll massage you if your having muscle aches.

Asmo knows just how to relax you. He'll draw you a warm bath and add in some soothing fragrances.

He'll pamper you when your on your period more than he already does.

You don't need to ask, he's already getting you what you want.

Will go to the store for pads and tampons. Doesn't care who sees him, he's already chatting on the phone with you about what sizes you need.

He'll hold you close at night, though he will get huffy if you bleed out on his bedsheets or clothes. Asmo understands its not your fault, though.

"Oh (Name), these ones are so cute!... It says they're scented as well. Do you want scented pads or do you prefer tampons? I can pick you up both. After this we should go clothes shopping."

[bokunowtv]

This post is interesting and well-researched, so thank you for putting in the effort to try and understand the character.

That said, I disagree with several points. I hope you're open to discussion? If you're not feel free to ignore this reply.

First of all, I think you might be confusing the tumblr echo-chamber (sorry to put it like that but I do think it's a problem with this site) with western culture. For example, you say stuff like this:

"In the west many feel Enji did nothing for Touya or did too little because the little he did is a given in the west"

I've lived almost my entire life in a western country with western values, and I really disagree that what Enji is doing for Touya would be "a given" anywhere in the world.

Touya is not some kind of petty criminal. He's a mass-murderer and serial-killer who was in cahoots with quirk-supremacists and human traffickers. He sent a suicidal madman after his own family, attempted multiple times to kill his little brother, and succeeded in destroying his father's career and body.

99% of fathers would have dropped his ass. Renounced him. You cannot tell me that you really think that in the west, a guy can gleefully try and murder his brother then put his father in wheelchair, without showing an ounce of remorse, and that it is "a given" that said father will react not with anger, but with love and commitment like Enji did. Idk I remember checking lists of serial killers and it seems like you might have an idealized view of western dads because they're not that forgiving.

Enji is promising to drag his disabled body every day to talk to Touya. He doesn't feel sorry for himself. He doesn't blame Touya. He's praising him. He's trying to comfort him. He's willing to take his poison every day if that's what would make his son happy. He doesn't see him as a monster, in spite what Dabi did to him and the absolutely atrocious crimes he committed. He sees only the boy he wronged. He's giving him a love that is truly unconditional (because there's literally no way Touya could make himself a worse human being than that, and Enji still loves him), when by law, and even by most cultural mores, Enji doesn't owe Dabi anything at this point. Dabi took his own revenge, he made his father suffer. Nobody owes love and kindness to someone who took so much satisfaction from torturing them to this extend (including by attempting to murder their kids, it's fucked up). This would be considered beyond even parental duty.

Second, to me and I believe most people in the western fandom, it was absolutely not "crazy" that Enji "gave up" on saving Touya???? I've honestly only seen this opinion from Dabi fans (same ones who are always trying to blame every single thing he does on his father).

The thing is, the story is just not written like Enji had another out there. He had none. Touya was saved because of miraculous (and to be honest, extremely contrived) circumstances. Touya turned himself into a nuke. He was going to die and take a shitload of people with him. His brain was so fried he couldn't understand what Enji was saying to him. These are just the facts of the story. Enji had no means at his disposal to reverse the effects. Nothing. His only options were to try and explode Touya from a distance or die with him, and as a father he chose the second option. It was an enormous coincidence that Rei, Fuyumi and Natsuo's underground car was sabotaged, it was an unpredictable spur-of-the-moment decision from Rei to jump into the fire, it was an extraordinary feat that Shouto managed to catch up to them just in time.

It seems like you're arguing that Enji had a better choice here, when the author went out of his way to show he didn't. The overwhelming majority of the western fandom understood that this was a father moment for Enji, that he was showing love for his son and atoning in the only way he could. It worked for most people. It didn't work for the small subsection that seems to think the heroes not coming up with magical solutions to save the villains is their fault. *shrug*

(To be clear, I do not love this conclusion for the Todoroki. They were all driven into a corner and succeeded because the "masterpiece" overpowered the "failure", twice. Meh.)

As for Enji's decision to visit Touya everyday... I'm really sorry but I can't for the life of me take the complaining about this seriously. I just can't. People who criticize Enji for this are just not making any effort at his point. They don't want to understand the story, they're haters who want to rage at a character. I'm sorry, I understand that you may think I'm being a jerk or overly aggressive here. But I swear, I'm just being honest. I do not think it's possible to misread that moment to this extend in good faith:

Enji is obviously, very explicitly doing this FOR Touya because it's what TOUYA WANTS. Touya made it abundantly clear that he wants his dad to watch him???? Like he couldn't have been more clear???? And why do people act like Touya has no choice but to accept his presence? Touya had no problem acting sassy just moments earlier. If he didn't to see his dad everyday, he'd have just said so???? And Enji has made it very clear with Natsuo that he would accept that graciously, that it was his kids' right to choose not to be in his life anymore. But that's not what Touya wants. Touya wants Enji to visit him. Touya's heartbeat started acting up the moment Enji said he'd come back because he was so touched.

The problem is not that the story wasn't written for westerners, it's that some people just don't read the same manga as everyone else at this point.

And at the end of the day, I think this is the crux of the problem. The difference between your part of the fandom and mine. It's not a matter of western vs Japanese culture. For me it's first and foremost a matter of sympathy:

From what I saw, plenty of western readers thought Enji was punished enough, felt sorry for what he had to go through, everything he lost, and the hell he is promised. And there are Japanese fans who hate Enji and thought he got off easy (though not as many as in the west). For me, it feels like the fans who dislike Enji's arc often dehumanize him, project their own abusers on him, see him as just a vehicle for atonement for their favs, do not regard him with any sympathy. For these people, his arc is not satisfying because 1) they didn't want it in the first place, and/or 2) they only care about results. But Hori wrote Enji's arc to be about Enji - his struggle, his change, his failures, his internal resolutions. It doesn't matter if he succeeds externally, what's important is the endeavor: that he tries and keeps trying even after he's been beaten down. It's consistent, dynamic, real, mature and so very human that it resonated with loads of fans from Western, Middle-eastern and Asian countries. I'm always seeing western fans (not even primarily Endeavor fans) say that his arc is one of the best they've read in Shonen. All that in spite of the cultural divide, because the themes his character carries are universal.

So, for many of us, it was touching to show that he won't be alone in his suffering - that his good deeds, efforts and sacrifices are seen and appreciated. Hori gave Enji the harsher ending out of all his heroes (main characters), so to me that touch of compassion even felt essential to uphold the BNHA message. I do not think it was necessary to show him still atoning, because tbh we've been told over and over for 100s of chapters that he will. The whole of 426 was about stating that he'll keep atoning to his family. We know.

For the fans that don't enjoy his arc - a lot of them hold contradictory positions. Untenable positions tbh. It's honestly more than fine to dislike Enji and love the villains. And it's ok to be sad, disappointed and hurt when characters we love don't get happy endings. But I personally think that if they want to write valid criticism of the story (as opposed to just ranting to friends who already agree anyway), you need to be able to first view your own positions from a critical point of view.

This last part isn't directed at you specifically. The reason I replied to your post is because I do recognize a genuine effort to try and understand, even if I personally disagree with some of the premise (that understanding Japanese culture is essential to appreciating Enji's arc).

Did Enji atone to Touya (and his family) and stepped up on his role as a father?

Boku no Hero Academia has a grave 'flaw'. The fact that's strongly tied to Japanese culture and Buddhism makes it a very interesting work but also makes it a hardly international work because way too many cultural things are left unexplained because they're assumed to be a given. Only they're not when the work is read by foreign readers. And this lead to confusion.

The Todoroki plotline is an example of this.

In the west many feel Enji did nothing for Touya or did too little because the little he did is a given in the west. The point is... it's not a given in Japan. In Japan is a BIG DEAL. So let's go though it.

First, the fact that he doesn't want to kill Touya even though he's a criminal

Todoroki Enji ‘Ore wa ikinobite mo... ENDEAVOR wa shinda. Tairyō satsujinsha (read: musuko) to tatakaenai.’ 轟炎司「俺は生き延びても...エンデヴァーは死んだ。大量殺人者（むすこ）と戦えない。」 Todoroki Enji “Even if I survived... Endeavor is dead. I can't fight against a mass murderer (read: my son).”

Let's compare it to these two scenes of "Death Note" and see how Yagami Soichiro, a policeman, is taking the idea his son might be a killer and how, although Misa protests, the story doesn't present it as him being crazy but as it being his duty.

That's why Hawks doesn't want to send Enji, who's on an atonement path, to face Dabi, because Enji might end up in a situation in which he would have to kill his son and he would refuse... which is more or less what happens.

Second, Enji acknowledges that what Touya said is true, Touya is his son and Enji did what he did. In such a situation many would lie. Dabi's video proves nothing. He is a Villain, they had a doctor in the team who could create Nomu, the paternity test could be fake, even if Dabi were to provide a sample of his blood or skin they could insist that's fake.

Society didn't want the truth, they don't want Enji to confess, they wanted him to reassure them, they even commented he should have lied because yes, that's what's done often.

Basically he put his honor on the chopping block. A public apology like this one is a BIG DEAL in Japan. It's much more serious than in western countries and he does it when he could have spared himself and say Dabi lied but that would have meant to deny his son.

Third, it connects to the first in a way. While Enji is unwilling to kill Touya, he's willing to die with him. It's ‘shinjū’ (心中 Lit. “Mind/heart center/inside” but more likely means “oneness of hearts”, probably reflecting a psychological link between the participants) and it’s a word used in common parlance to refer to any group suicide of two or more individuals bound by love, typically lovers, parents and children, and even whole families. People who commit shinjū believe that they would be united again in heaven, a view supported by feudal teaching in Edo period Japan, which taught that the bond between loved ones would continue into the next world, and by the teaching of Pure Land Buddhism wherein it is believed that through shinjū, one can approach rebirth in the Pure Land. By volunteering to die with him, Enji is basically agreeing to remain with him in their next reincarnation.

For us it's crazy, it's Enji giving up on saving him. In Japan it sounds like 'I love you and I want to be with you'.

Forth, he'll apologize to Touya. As said before it's a BIG DEAL, especially since Enji is the family head and, although for us most of what he did is wrong, in Japan most of what he did is well within what he can do. Marrying a woman you don't love in a combined marriage to expect the child who'll be born from it will fulfill your ambitions and not really bothering to raise it because that's a mother job, well, things are changing in Japan but none of the above is a crime. In a not so distant past it was actually the norm. Yet Enji apologizes even though normally a family head wouldn't.

Fifth it's a bit in the first point and in the second but it'll drag on through all the story, Enji won't reject Touya. He's the only one (except Fuyumi who however doesn't get to say much) who never calls him Dabi after the reveal, and he won't strike him out of the family register but will keep on considering him his son.

Look at the Tobitas instead and at how they kick their son out.

Don't think Hawks is cutting strings with his parents solely because they were abusive, the Tobitas show us how you should just cut strings with a criminal. Same as the Togas.

Have "Theseus no fune" in which a man accused to be a murderer, send a birthday gift to his son and watch the reaction of his wife.

They don't want to keep contact with a criminal. It's scary because they'll be mistreated if they are discovered to be related to him.

And, in this vein, the fact he wants to go see him, that he'll keep on seeing him till the end instead than turning his back on him, is seen as important. It's seen as him being his father.

To many of us it seems as if he's forcing his presence upon Touya. Actually, from a Japanese perspective he's instead not abandoning him like many others would.

And since Touya is dying, very likely the talking will be the talking that's done in a Buddhist culture when someone is dying. Death should occur in a calm and peaceful environment, with close friends and family in attendance. Together they should reflect on the good deeds the dying person has done throughout their life, in the hopes it will help them in their next reincarnation. Additionally, family and friends can perform good deeds on behalf of them, which they believe will be of merit to the deceased.

So, since Touya is dying he won't get a scolding like Chisaki, they'll all only tell him nice and soothing things so he'll die peacefully.

Now... in the west all this is absolutely way too little, and in some points even feels wrong. Dying together instead than insisting in trying to save him? Deciding unilaterally to show up every day? Not our thing...

We can totally say 'thanks, I hate it' because we grew up with Darth Vader who instead gave his life to SAVE his son. All this accepting that Touya instead is going to die so Enji can at best die with him or keep him company until he does... well, it's mostly not our cup of cultural tea.

In in Japan though, all Enji does is important. Enji is doing something for Touya as a father, something important many fathers wouln't do for their sons.

Does it would satisfy a Japanese audience? They'll get the message better than us... but things are changing and anyway it can still feel too little. "Death Note" is dated 2005/2006 and back in it Misa was already questioning the idea of a father killing his son and then killing himself. BNHA is more innovative as Enji doesn't think to kill Touya but he still goes for the 'let's die together' route... and Horikoshi subtly criticizes it by having the rest of the family decising they'll try to stop the fire before just giving up. They're willing to die, but not before trying.

Enji represents plenty of old theories after all, which Horikoshi acknowledges were moved out of wrong beliefs, not moved by mean intents... which, is possible, would still not be enough for Japanese readers either because among teenagers, the target audience, there's an increasing number of teen who, in Japan, are forced to leave home (the Toyoko Kids) and often ends up committing crimes to survive and the league seems to be based on all the kind of homeless people Japan has.

While for a kid at home with a loving family being told that your father will die with him if he messes up instead than just dumping him might be comforting... for a kid that was abused and forced to leave home this might feel not enough.

People want to be saved, being told it's too late to save them, might be a lesson for those who hadn't done anything wrong yet so that they won't do it, but it's surely not a hopeful message for who instead got himself into troubles.

But well, that's something for the Japanese audience to ponder.

There's also to point out that, even though the message is not hopeful, Horikoshi is seeing the homeless people and acknowledging they should be helped.

Japan in regard to the Toyoko kids is mostly like the old woman who pretended not to see Tenko but that, in the end, helps that new boy.

I think Horikoshi's message desperately wants to be hopeful even for them, that he wants BNHA be like Midoriya's final stand, something that will push people to acknowledge they exist and reach out to help them.

It just that... it gets lost in what I'll call the 'litteral translation'.

No one explains us how we should jusge the scenes and, since we lack the cultural background, to us they are perceived differently because to us things work differently.

And, personally, even when I think I figured out the author's intent and can see the positivity of it, the cultural filter is still too tick and the picture gets blurried.

It's like being beginner at speaking a foreign language and having to constantly translate it in your head. The message loses its natural beauty, get simplified and not fully grasped.

I think I understand how Enji's atonement work in regard to Touya... it still doesn't feel fulfilling to me. But enough about Touya.

'Now,' you might rightfully say, 'fine, I'll bite, let's assume what Enji has is an atonement arc for Touya. It doesn't work at all in the west but let's give it a pass. What about his other kids?'

Natsuo and Fuyumi's wishes are in conflict.

Fuyumi wants the five of them to be a family (at the time she doesn't know Touya is alive), Natsuo doesn't want to be part of a family with Enji.

Enji's solution is giving Fuyumi a house in which she can welcome her mother and live with Natsuo (and Shouto when he comes home), while he removes himself from the equation. The solution fulfills Natsuo's wish of not seeing Enji because it makes him feel bad. It only partly fulfil Fuyumi's wish because it'll allow her to have her mother back (Rei couldn't bear meeting Enji either) and to stay with her siblings... but Enji takes responsibility for it, he doesn't tell her it's due to Natsuo that he can't live with them, so, in theory, it won't be Natsuo the one who's stressed to be at home when Enji is there and the one who has to leave home because he can't stand the sight of Enji.

There are many things I can say on how this is not a good solution (it doesn't make Natsuo feel better, it just stops him from feeling worse), but there are two points to consider. The first is that Enji is getting old and it would be his children's duty, due to filial pity, to take care of him, instead he's basically giving them the means to leave and take his wife with them.

Actually, since Natsuo is now the oldest MALE, it should fall on him specifically. Yes, Enji always intended to have Shouto inherit his mantle but this doesn't free Natsuo from his duties. Instead Enji is letting all his children free.

Even with Shouto, he doesn't insist anymore for Shouto to learn Flashfire Fist as his heir but just as an intern.

I take this is big in Japan.

Here again, not so much, especially in the countries in the west that think kids should leave their parents' home as soon as possible and we don't think our children are obliged to inherit our mantles.

Note how the story implies that this was meant to be the end for the Natsuo/Enji arc.

Natsuo made clear he didn't want to meet Enji again, he does it solely because they've to stop Touya and, once they've stopped Touya, he makes clear he doesn't want to see him again.

If we want though, the fact he's leaving the family can be seen as a concession in a way.

Since apparently Rei wants to stay with Enji (and likely their old house was devasted because that's what happens to relative of criminals) Enji can now move with Fuyumi and Rei and Natsuo won't have to see him because he'll leave home... to make his own home.

As for Shouto... Horikoshi answered his request by basically showing him Enji being a father for Touya and then promising he would protect them from the fiery fallout, which Horikoshi doesn't show at all because it's another thing that's a given in Japanese culture, it'll be hell for Enji to protect them, but not for us.

Just to get an idea of the fiery fallout here are some images from "Theseus no fune" again showing you how bad is this sort of thing.

Back to Enji, Horikoshi gives us verbal confirmation that Enji is now being a father by being willing to do this, by having Natsuo, who never called him as such, calling him father for the first time.

For Horikoshi that's Enji being a father.

Again, we've no idea of which hell Enji will suffer because that's not part of our culture. I've posted above screencaps of "Theseus no fune", that's how the fallout should be so not pretty at all.

So the fact that Enji will try to protect them from it is, again, BIG.

So yeah, Enji did do BIG things to atone and keeps on doing them and if he'll ultimately get forgiven by Natsuo (the rest of his family wanted to forgive him way before he were to do something), that's up to Natsuo... Horikoshi likely left this as open ending because he wanted to let it up to readers so as not to make them feel they were forced to forgive Enji.

In the general hopeful theme of the manga and with Natsuo acknowledging him as a cool father I guess his idea is that Natsuo too will eventually forgive him because he's kind.

I don't want to say that Natsuo forgiving Enji would be a culture clash because there's people even here that forgive their horrible parents and that's valid. Forgiving is a personal choice and one has the right to make it even if said horrible parent did nothing to deserve it.

It's up to you.

But sure is, if again we take the story at face value and not in its cultural contest, we can't see what Enji does to atone, because for us is nothing big.

It's even made worse by how Horikoshi doesn't show at all the hell Enji will go through (as for him is a given) so for us IT DOESN'T EXIST. We see Enji as having it easy, talking big but not having to face anything at all.

Honestly though... I think this is a bit of a flaw of the manga as a whole.

Way too often it prefers to focus on the good than on the bad so that the bad gets sidelined to much to the point people forget it.

There were horrible Heroes who committed crimes and had no intention to repent or stop... and we never met them. Nagant killed them off but we never met them.

Mountain Lady, who became a Hero for money and fame, then sticks to the job even when it's bad. Desugoro, who left the job when it turned bad, then came back to help. Enji is on an atonement path and, anyway, on work he was always a good Hero.

In the same way Horikoshi prefers not to show Enji's hardship but focus on how he'll have the support of his sidekicks, driver and Hawks... partly also because it ties in so well with the general message of everyone reaching out.

The result is that the Midoriya plotline of everyone reaching out becomes more important of the Enji atonement arc and overshadows it.

Enji's atonement arc ends in 426, chap 430 doesn't feel the need to tell us if Enji is keeping up with it despite the hardship, nor how his family is doing. It feels the need to reassure us that people will reach out for him even if he's in hell, that even if he had to give up on his family, he now as a new found family.

It's thematically consistent with the theme of reaching out but... the fact it overwrites the atonement arc honestly FOR ME doesn't work so great.

I think it's an overall problem of the 'reaching out message'.

While in itself is beautiful... it saves nothing I was lead to care about.

In Enji's case I was interested in his atonement arc, in how he could help his kids. I wanted more of that, partly because his atonement arc is so far from my culture, partly because it touched characters I cared about, I wanted to be reassured he would keep on working on it and that his family would be well.

Yes, he should be in hell, but the story didn't really work hard on trying to make me worry for him as it established already a support network for him. The story made me worry for the kids, for Touya, who was dying, for Fuyumi, who wanted back her family and won't have it, for Natsuo, who's marrying an unknown character so young, for Shouto, who has to cope with the loss of the brother with whom he wanted to connect.

I don't really care Burnin, Onima, Kido and Hawks are willing to continue to protect Enji, to reach out to help him, I knew they would, I wanted to be reassured Enji's kids are safe, well and protected. I wanted to see ENJI reach out and help them.

In this vein I don't really care the old grandmother saved a nameless abused kid, or, at least, not as much as I cared for Tomura to be saved. It's nice she saved him, it's nice he gets to live the life Tomura was denied but honestly, he's a mob character with a super tragic backstory created deliberately to force us to emotionally connect to him.

The message he now will be saved is good, but my emotional investment to him is too little.

The same applies to Uraraka's Quirk counsueling program, we knew next to nothing about the Quirk consueling previous program beyond that it didn't work (a real problem in Japan as they have a school consueling program that didn't work... and changes are in progress) and that now it supposedly does.

To how Shouji now solves peacefully plenty of conflicts caused by Heteromorph discrimination, which Horikoshi tossed in later and never really showed how to solve (and, don't take me wrong, it's not solved even by Shouji, he just solves peacefully the conflicts, how is up to everyone's speculation).

Long story short, I think Horikoshi worked really hard for BNHA to have an optimist, hopeful message... but part of it goes lost in cultural differences and part of it goes lost in how the story didn't try to get me invested in the things it's now saving.

So yeah, I'm still sad for this little panel in chap 430

I guess I'll eventually get over it. Today though, it's not that day.

On a positive note... if we count the pages of all the chapters that should go in vol 42 they're only 132. The chapters that were meant to go into Vol 39 had 165 (which yes, Horikoshi further expanded once the volume was released).

So yeah, unless Vol 42 will be slimmer than usual or that he'll add to it some sidestory or extra story, it's possible we'll get more plot in terms of epilogue. We'll see.

(also yes, I'm not touching Rei in this post. Rei is another can of worm entirely and one, I fear, Horikoshi doesn't care about. The poor woman doesn't even get a profile while Ikoma Komari does. And really, I do think Rei is much more important than Ikoma Komari)

[princessbeebee]

Squishmallow Scare and Peter Bucky Barnes x regressed!reader

I have been obsessed with squishmallows lol so I decided to write this. If anyone has any suggestions my asks are open ♡

word count: 1.7k 

Mute!regressed!reader 

Y/N had accumulated a bunch of squishmallows since Bucky loved spoiling his baby. Almost every time he’d go to the store he would actively search for any squishmallows. Steve has also looked for them before when the store opens just to get the one she wanted even though she would rarely ask for them. 

Bucky would hear her talk about new ones that come out and so he would try and get them, even with Steve's help. Y/N woke up from a scary nightmare and Bucky was gone. Bucky had left for an emergency in Canada of all places and was arriving that morning. She wanted to wake up peacefully but obviously, her brain chose violence. 

She turned over in their shared bed and reached for the squishmallow that fell onto the floor when she was sleeping. The sun shone through the window causing her to strain her just closed eyes. She was sweaty and just did not want to be an adult today. So she headed to the living room where the other half of her many squishes were located. She also had a designated room that was next to Bucky’s office that was her playroom. She went up to the ten squishes and gathered them up to put them back into the playroom. 

She placed ten of them on their couch since she was home alone and needed company. The playroom had a light pink wall with a bookshelf filled with coloring books and children's books, a small comfortable couch, a bean bag, a small table, and of course all her squishes and other toys. The squishmallows were in the corner of the room and piled up. She dumped them on top of each other carefully and stared at them. She sleepily bent down and moved some over to make a hole. She then crawled into it and laid down on the fluffy carpet and had all the squishes cover her body. 

She hugged one to her chest and heard the front door open and her Bucky shout out “drăguță!” Y/N stayed quiet while Bucky searched each room for her. She decided to scare him when he called for her. Bucky walked inside the playroom, where she usually was when regressed, and looked around for her. She heard his footsteps approach where the squish pile was. When it got quiet she rose suddenly which made Bucky jump and scream. “Oh my god you scared me so bad Y/N” Bucky exclaimed. She chuckled as Bucky gave her his hand so she could stand up. She still held her favorite squish as Bucky pecked her lips. He had noticed that something was off. Usually, she was talking his ear off, but she was quiet. He had experienced this a couple of times with her, she went mute when she hadn’t regressed in a while. His absence had caused her to not be able to regress since she had become accustomed to him aiding her in her regression. 

He looked at her fondly and asked “Do you need my care honey?” She just nodded and he put his arms around her waist and commanded a quiet “up”. He held her in his arms and spun her around which caused her to smile. “Is that your baby? They are very cute.” He patted the squishes head with one hand as he balanced her on his hip. “I know you’re regressed Y/N, but I will just tell you about my flight back because oh was it eventful,” Bucky said as he sat down on the playroom couch. “So I was heading to the airport and saw one of the stores that sell squishmallows and I saw that they had the mystery ones you wanted so I had to get you a couple of bags!” She squealed with joy as Bucky sat her down on the couch and walked out into the living room to grab the bag he got. She hopped on her butt in excitement as he walked back in with the colorful reusable bag. He had bought her six of the mystery bags each of them 8 inches.

She bit her lip and did grabby hands to the bag. Bucky just chuckled and placed the bag next to your lap. She dumped the bag onto the couch and a couple fell off of it. Bucky just placed the fallen ones with the others as she adamantly opened one of them. “These are not like any of the ones I have gotten you before, they are scented, but I am not sure if all of them smell like marshmallows or if they all have different smells. The bag doesn’t say but I am sure your nose will figure it out huh baby” Bucky explained. She struggled with opening the bag so she grunted and held it out towards Bucky. He smiled and dug in his pocket to grab his abalone shell pocket knife to cut it open. “Here honey you’re too small let me do it.” “And remember to never touch a sharp object, only me ok?” He asked while giving her a wink. 

She blushed as he handed her one bag. “Ooooo which one did you get princess!” He exclaimed. The scent of chocolate was overwhelming but comforting as she pulled out the green dragon. She beamed as she hugged the small green creature. Bucky continued cutting the tops open and handing them to her. She just squealed in joy as she pulled out each stuffie giving each a kiss and hug. Surprisingly Bucky had gotten each squish in the series, so Y/N was happy. He would grab one and smell it to attempt to figure out each scent. He’d hold out the stuffie for her to sniff also as he listed off his guesses of each scent, which she’d either respond with shaking her head yes or no. He would list off weird guesses like “grass” or “slime scent”, which would just make her laugh. Her favorite had to be the unicorn since she smelled like flowers.

 “So how about a snack, you know Peter is coming over today right?” Her head shot up and looked towards Bucky. She hadn’t played with Peter in so long since he was moving into the tower and preparing to work as a full-time avenger. Y/N and Peter were regressors, but the only issue is that Tony was his caregiver and had passed away the year before. This caused him to struggle to regress, which would affect his crime-fighting. Luckily, Y/N, Bucky, and Steve had helped him get back to his old self, but being an Avenger was hard. Bucky and Y/N walked into their shared kitchen to have a quick snack before Steve and Peter came over. 

She sat at the table and watched her caregiver cut fresh strawberries into tiny pieces for her. She eventually ate all her strawberries and patiently waited for Peter to arrive so she could play with her. She had never been mute when Peter came over to play, so Bucky knew to explain to Peter why she isn’t talking to him and how she is not being rude to him. Thankfully, Steve texted Bucky and told him that Peter was about 8 years old today. Bucky had completely forgotten to ask Y/N what age she was today, so he asked and she held up four fingers. “Aw such a good baby thank you for showing me four fingers, you’re so smart,” He cooed. 

Steve came in with Peter rushing inside to find his friend Y/N. She got a little frightened by the rush and cowered and hid her face with the purple unicorn. Bucky placed a soothing hand on her arm as Steve reprimanded Peter for not keeping his composure. “Peter I told you she is younger than you right now. I know you are excited to see her but you need to apologize for giving her a scare,” Steve said. Peter walked up with his green plastic dinosaur with a sad look and apologized to her. Peter sat directly in front of her on the floor as she sat on the couch rubbing her unicorns fur. “Hey! I said I was sorry Y/N! Why are you ignoring me,” Peter whined. Steve quickly told him to lower his voice since the whining made her cower. 

Bucky then explained why Y/N was acting the way she was. Peter seemed to understand that it was not his fault at all and seemed to get embarrassed. However, this made Peter even more caring of her. He felt the need to be protective of her now, to be her big brother. He quickly placed his favorite big green T-Rex next to her thigh as Peter ran to her playroom. Steve just sat and let Peter do what he wanted to do. Peter then came rushing back in taking all the squishes he could grab in his hands and bringing them inside the living room. He then placed them all on the couch which made her smile at Peter. He knew your dolls were like a security blanket to you. 

You two played together for the whole day. Peter mostly would tell you stories he made up in his brain about dinosaurs and robots which would make you smile. He also helped you eat dinner, which was dino nuggets, french fries, and a Capri sun. He’d even give you an extra nugget just because he felt bad. Dessert was a pudding cup with sprinkles in it. Eventually, it was 8 pm which was your bedtime, Peter did not want to leave and pleaded that he stay the night. So Steve agreed and left him there with Bucky.

Both Y/N and Peter slept in the playroom on foldable beds that could be turned into chairs. A night light was turned on near the door as Bucky set up their beds. He opened the closet and pulled out two fuzzy princess and robot blankets for the two. Y/N walked up to her squish pile and handed Peter a dog squishmallow to sleep with. He ruffled her hair and said thanks as they both cuddled in their beds. Bucky stood by the door and smiled at the two. Y/N hugged two of her new squishes and wished that she had more to cuddle.

Drăguță -  Cutie in Romanian

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