#i shouldve tdone all the things i wanted
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#i wish i hadnt been so shy and scared#i wish that i in the beginning had liked all his posts and pics and complimented him#and just showed him how much i liked him#i wish i had replied to his posts and appreciated when he did so with my stuff#i wish i wouldve tagged him in stuff and sent him posts that reminded me of us#i wish i hadsnt been scared to do all of these things#bc the thing is... i KNOW my feelings werent unrequited and he has never said he didnt feel that way for me#i was too scared and pulled away#he is the first i've ever loved and wanted#he is the first one ive talked to like that and been close to#i didnt know how to accept it or receive it....#so instead i pulled away and made him think i didnt care#i kept posting abt how sad and miserable and whiny i sm#.... made him think that he doesnt matter to me#made him think hes not important or the cenyter of my world#what the fuck did i do#how could i have been so fucking cowardly#i shouldve tdone all the things i wanted#instead i really did make him feel like i didnt like him#god i hate myself i wish i couldve done differently#bc its so sad bc i want him and he wanted me but i was too fkn scared to act on it
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