#i shouldnt HAVE to say youre talking about autistic people for it to be mean to hate someone for being boring or lame w such vigor

[smileymoth]

Im being mentally ill sorry chat

I need to kill myself at this point because I'm never going to get better in any way shape or form. I cant eat healthy because I get fucking weird about it. And I'd be okay with it because frankly I don't care if I make myself sick but at the same time I'm scared I'll die at 40 from heart failure because starvation kills your organs and your heart. But I'd not eat healthy in the first place so would it even matter. I hate that I can't say that I wish I was skinny because that means I'm scum of the earth bc i hate fat people even though I dont I just hate myself and everything to do with me because I'll never be enough for myself because I have crippling dysmorphia that makes me want to kill myself. I can'tlook at myself in the mirror i cant look at photos of myself because i hate my body so bad but i cant change it because i keep fucking eating i need to stop fucking eating i need to start counting calories again if i ever want to be skinny and get surgey god its such a long way to go to be skinny i wish i was underweight i wish i hhadnt gained 25kilos over the span of 3 years i need to kill myself because its all my fault its my fault i cant eat or work out properly or be healthy about it because im too depressed to cook for myself and im addicted to sugar and i have no energy or motivation to do things ever. What if its my fuckibg meds that raise my weight so much what if i went off them what if i stop taking them and eventually kill myself because being dead is bettef than being fat right thats what rhe doctors probably want you to beliebe. I look soooo normal on the outside im like smiling and laughing and i looknormal and happy to other people because i have nothing to prove to them for me beung sick beside them knowing i take meds and me joking about being suicidal. I dont have lost weight nor any scars to show them . God i wish i had the courage to cut my arm up so bad i had to get stitches but i cant because i lovr my mom and my mom loves me toi much and i dont want to worry her i already am terrifued of her seeing the small scars on my thighs . I cant even tell if cutting helps because it gives a nice adrenaline rush but then itd over and i feel guilty bc itll leavw scars that people can see i wish people didnt care aboyt scars i wish they healed and disappeared faster so i wouldnt havw to hide them but i also want them to see because i feel like its the only way i could prove to them that im ill and not just joking about it. I need to starve mtself and get skinny because theb maybe someobe will tell me im pretty because ill finally wear pretty clothes and i need to get rid of my tits and i need ro lose the weight for that abd im so scared i wont be able to . Its only 10 kilos it shouldnt be so scary to lose but i lost 5 in dec/january so before i even went to thw gym and now ibe lost nothing in 2 montjs and its so scary i hatw it i hate that im mentally il i hate that ik not ill enough for anyone to care . Im so pathetic it hurts really i need to kill myself but i cant because of my mom and it sucks . Im never going to get better and im never going to feel pretty enough or good enough in my life im always going to feel like a failure so why am i even trying anymore . I want to die but i dont i just want to be happy but i cant do that so i want to kill myself instead but i cant kill myself soim just stuck in this limbo of wishing i was a better person that im never going to be. I wish i had the self control to just not fucking eatif i cant make proper healthy food for myself i dont deserve it i dont deserve good thibgs i need to get beat up on the street by someone i dont deserve good rhings because i havent earned them im always gking to be a little freak thafs not enough for herself or the world because shes a depressed fat probably autistic freak whose only wish is to be happy and find love that i wont get becayse i cant talk to people. I also need to stop posting my mental breakdowns on tumnlr bc its not helping anyone but here we are. Im not a good person am i

[eyelessfog]

HELLO. hello. the infodump post was half about kathlizzie and half about eswap gem ans you already know about eswap gem so have a kathlizzie infodump

lizzie fell from the sky dropped into the ocean and doesnt know a whole lot and doesn't remember a whole lot

her only clear memory is a drained ocean and the prisma palace and she doesnt know what the fuck that means so

also so far hasnt found a lot of other fish or axolotl people like her and has found the hard way that they arent very common in this world so shes kind of an ocean hermit

shes mostly watching people form afar, hunting other fish to survive and following schools of cod or axolotls

and she's heard tell of merfolk like her luring sailors with songs and drowning them and eating them

from most sailors she's seen they're usually not very appetising looking so she doesn't have much of a craving for human flesh unfortunately

that is until she finds a sailor with a familiar face and what she's familiar with she is drawn to

but she figures she's drawn to pirate kath because shes a sailor and hey maybe sailors actually make a good meal i guess we'll find out!

she tries luring her in with song at first but kath doesn't even get a chance to turn and look at her because the moment she hears random singing she sails away

lizzie figures she isnt very good at singing and resorts to good ol charm and charisma and decides to approach her little boat directly

kath is immediately startled, she's never seen sirens like lizzie

and mind you lizzie is not actually that good at that convincing and charming kath. like she does this like shes scamming someone yk? but instead she plans to drown them and eat them

kath doesnt know whats up with this weird siren but shes funny she looks her funny words she laughs at her funny words

and before you know it they're just a pirate girl and a siren girl bantering and joking with each other in the middle of the ocean and lizzies completely forgotten to eat her

she says it Out Loud too like "oh wait you have to go? dang i didnt get a chance yo eat you yet"

kath is again startled and reminded oh fuck yeah this is a siren sirens dangerous

and lizzies just "awe this is why i shouldnt talk to my food for too long now im attached i dont wanna eat you now youre so nice and pretty!"

!???!?!!

anyways at some point it becomes sort of an arrangement, kath going out on a bit of a fishing trip, lizzie meeting up with her

lizzie also hunts some fish for her too almost like a. dog bringing you back a stick or a frisbee.

kath is endeared by this

oh and btw lizzie has at least One Instance of bringing kath a pufferfish and getting stung ?? puffed ?? pufferfish did the pufferfish thing

and kath had to help her out

they are just two dummies two idiots taking care of each other and also they're autistic thats all ty

REAL REAL REAL REAL. SNIFFLES. lizzie’s little “:( ur really nice and funny and pretty how the hell am i supposed 2 eat u :/“ yeah girlie…… get attached to someone u were planning to eat

god and the bringing fish back…. woman who has gift giving as a love language …. remind me 2 draw them later

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

edit this person apologized to me it all good please don’t attack them

[id: tag of previous person am reblogging from. “#+ the autistic people who CAN sometimes are not always capable of doing it ALL THE TIME you fucking casuals (nts) #autistic people shouldnt have to be able to communicate perfectly to deserve your support advocacy and respect #they shouldn't even have to strive for it or want it let autistic people communicate in our natural ways #i hate expending energy for neurotypicals and people who uphold neurotypical standards. its what i was forced into as a kid #and i am FORCEFULLY THROWINGIT AWAY. if im having a nonverbal day you're doing the damn guesswork i've done ENOUGH for you #sorry i didnt mean to rant in the tags. i feel verstrongly about this.” end id]

@barmecidebiohazard none of this appropriate addition.

1) cannot go nonverbal. cannot have nonverbal day. multiple multiple so fucking many nonverbal people here have said this over and over and over and over and over again. you have verbal shutdown, you lose speech. stop take away our terms stop misuse our terms.

2) would say decenter your own experience & listen to actual nonverbal people but not sure if you able do that either, consider you just have to add something about your own temporary lose experience to me clearly talk about people who never ever & never will learn never will have ability experience.

this post not about you. not about people like you. will never ever be people like you. it selfish and self centered and arrogant and ableist to make it about you.

if want talk about temporary lose, make own post. stop make everything about you. not everything about you.

and by the way temporary lose something not same as never have that ability or permanent lose. you lose speech experience not not not same as nonverbal experience.

and you have ABILITY even if super hard but still have ABILITY do something very very not same as someone who am talk about in original post who did not or do not or will not have ability. and you NEED decenter self

if make post about permanent all time nonverbal, literally do not fucking care about temporary lose whatever

some autistic people will never ever learn how reliable & functionally communicate with words & able freely say what they want

don’t care if you a high support need autistic who can communicate

don’t care you also have intellectual disability and able learn

don’t care if you nonspeaking nonverbal from birth and learn communicate

don’t care if you nonspeaking nonverbal from birth and be lock in body for 10 20 30 years or longer and finally able through hard work communicate

just because you can not mean everyone can

some autistic people will never ever learn how reliable & functionally & freely communicate with words

in advocate for nonverbal nonspeaking people & AAC, do not erase them

[everything-i-wish-to-say]

The way npd, at least here on tumblr, is talked about is actually pretty harmful too. ive seen at least a couple blogs say the "people with npd aren't abusers and they arent evil, you've just fallen for bullshit" and like yeah, people with npd aren't inherently evil nor are they destined to be abusers... but some of them are. yes the word narcissist is overused. yes npd is heavily stigmatiszed. yes, it's basically called self-centered asshole disorder. and yeah, those issues shouldnt exist. but denying the behaviors associated with the disorder and the effects of those behaviors helps no one. the denial, usually framed as clarification around here, hurts those with npd that do exhibit negative behaviors related to the disorder because it can be invalidating and isolating. because like, imagine finally getting a diagnoses as to why you struggle in relationships due to your behavior. just to have people saying "uhm actually no, people with npd dont do that and they arent abusers, you wrong and mean" and it hurts people that have faced trauma and abuse because someone with npd hurt them through their disordered behavior. To have all your hurt invalidated bc "people with npd are NOT abusers and they aren't evil" like, some of them are. there is no single monolith for npd. or any disorder. idk i just feel like personality disorders, especially npd, are likened to autism in the sense that people say the behaviors associated with the disorder are "just how it is" and act as if behavior cannot be changed with time and effort. like, autistic behavior, such as stimming (not exclusive), can be supressed and changed. but it's harmful to the autistic person because most behaviors related to autism are forms of self-regulation. but behavior associated with npd is not. behaviors associated with npd are typically behaviors that intend to regulate the actions of *other people*. so treating npd-related behavior the same as asd-related behavior is not really... effective? because the intent and effect of the behaviors is not comparable.

[sobachyakukla]

how are people "removed from your internet" like why did ian say that between israel & him i would nmver have to worry about michael again because they removed him from my internet. every time i look him up it generates a page not found image & im wondering if henry had anything to do with this because he would do shit like that, instagating my behavior & then calling me dangerous. its like, a very well known tactic & my therapist told me young men do this when they want to feel vindicated as a victim without being willing to share that title so they start pushing you when they know youre mentally ill & then call you dangerous. i shouldnt be worried about what that type of male thinks of me because i honestly feel really scared of what hes capable of pushing me towards & then acting so innocent. especially since he is thin & reserved. that automatically would make any male cop feel like a million bucks for defending him.

i cant believe my life turned into me talking myself down from hanging myself at the park across the street because a toxic mysoginist wont answer my calls.

yes i made a fucking attempt to look you up every new account i made because the alternative is that your friends are literally on my shit controlling the page returns & controlling what i do & do not have access to. that is scary as fuck. not to mention im the second autistic person that toxic ass dude has done this to, making his unchecked ableism just even more dangerous to the next person like me he unwittingly targets.

i hope he never recieves romantic satisfaction or feels loved ever again. may we suffer as one forever get him out of my head & let me feel my coffee high please

not to mention the worst part thus far is i'd put it down 99% on his friends, i mean i would fuck the everliving christ out of jon its NOT OKAY FOR HIS BULLSHIT VICTIMHOOD TO TAKE MY HORNY ASS & BENCH HER????? also israel mullinex? if that boy is controlling me ID LET IT HAPPEN THEYRE HOT AS FUCK??!??!?!?!?!?!?!? stop all this nonsense im hood rich i travel on public transport bc die hard leftist contributing to public transportation also fear of operating a vehicle with my chronic suicidality but im very attracted to these people & michaels feelings getting hurt (pretty sure he doesnt ever suffer) over me railing the fucking dogshit out of his bandmates is his problem not mine. its not okay. im mad about that the most. but i felt like i had to tell jon who i was. but that was kind of sexy tbh being denied even though i know how attracted we are to each other. id sit on him & wail i mean it. like maybe i just want access to his friends so bad bc they all fall under the category of "traumatised, suicidal, & hot musicians" & that happens to be the very one that makes me tweak my nipples & wipe my upper thigh of p*ssy juice. im disgusting im evil im full of lust & it shouldnt be reciprocated or held to a high standard.

i need to pray & cut myself so i can get the demon out but when i cut for the black blood it takes nearly all of my self control to keep from hitting major areas because i have to get the demon out cut it deep enough for the love to lead it out & the lust to make it leave anything to bleed

bleeding heart jesus chapter zoophile crazy girl let the lamb of god take me of my milk

[skeletalsepulchre]

hai :3 what actually is the deal with amegaotaku i feel like i missed a bunch of lore here

haiiiii

to be quite frank im also missing most of the lore but

to give you a rundown of what i DO know:

at some point a few years ago amegaotaku (fandom blogger?) got into beef with some people younger than them and got pretty severely clowned on for it, one of those people being user nonbinaryjew (who seems pretty chill honestly). no idea what this og drama is or was.

after this, amegaotaku picked up the habit of sending people asks saying that nonbinaryjew (and anyone else who talked about her) were just trying to smear her and were ableist, ageist, and biphobic, because she happens to be autistic, in her thirties, and bisexual. this also would lead to asks that clearly showed she didnt even really check who she was sending these asks to other than that they were vaguely associated in circles near her nemesis because shed send things like "make sure you have in your bio info on whether or not youre in your 30s, bisexual, or disabled" to people like me, who make that stuff pretty apparent

the asks vary in nature but almost all of them are copy-pasted and sent en masse. i thought she was botting honestly but tonight she was responding to peoples responses so it seems she may just do this???

a lot of times she'll throw out really bizarre accusations. tonight she accused @mdq of being a biphobic ableist and they havent even...interacted

these asks arent really constant-- instead of being the occasional message to a blog over time, a lot of blogs (usually people who are mutuals with each other) will get them all within a few days or a week of each other, and then things will go silent on the amegaotaku front. she just sorta pops back up, and i think she may name search for when people talk about it? honestly i dont even know what the original drama was it had to have been a few years ago she just has continued this weird little cycle. if you see her send one to a mutual of yours she'll probably end up sending one to you OR it becomes really easy to bait her into sending one just by joking about it with her name mentioned (see: a mutual saying her name 3 times with candle emojis as a play on bloody mary and her responding) or interacting with the og post. this has not helped her lolcow-esque status

she also appears to make throwaway blogs to message/rb from people or at the very least did so tonight and then immediately deactivates them? which is a little strange given everyone knows who it is. maybe its just more convenient

anyway if you get an ask that has any of the characteristics of the above you shouldnt take it personally because its probably just a copypasta being sent without real regard for who its being sent to lol, which means most people just think of the whole thing as kinda a joke

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

I need to share soft sign language buddies ninogami headcanon because they’re taking over my brain always:

(This got so long, so youre welcome if youre also starved for ninogami content)

Nino’s mom is Deaf , so he grew up signing as much as speaking. When he was younger he always signed as he talked.

It turned out he’s also Hard of Hearing, so sign language is way easier for him to understand most of the time.

However, though he’s great at making friends, he’s very awkward when it comes to talking about himself. So never comes up in conversation.

It’s not a self-deprication issue. It’s just a “thinking of things to say is hard and I’d rather have someone else do the talking” thing. He’d rather talk about anyone except himself.

Additionally! He’s great at helping other people, but he’s terrible at asking for help. He does not EVER want to be like “hey i cant understand what you’re saying, my ears dont work great,” its his worst nightmare

And it doesnt help that there have been a few cases of people being rude about it when he doesnt hear them after they repeat themselves. And possibly worse, there have been even more cases of people giving over-the-top apologies instead of just,, telling him what they said. So it’s not worth the trouble in his mind

with his few close friends who still dont know, it feels like its too late and it’d be awkward to bring it up, so he just… doesnt. He’s procrastinating on telling them he cant hear them

He stopped signing as much as he talked in middle school because strangers would always be like “woah thats so cool, how do you know sign language” and he’d just panic because he was an awkward tween, and he didnt know if he was comfortable telling them he was HoH, but ALSO just saying his mom was Deaf and not mentioning himself felt like directly lying by hiding information, so he just took the “lazy” way out and signed less in public.

Sometimes fighting the anxiety was not worth it so he just let it win in that case.

Nino is so nice and energetic and loves people, but he is way more introverted and anxious than his friends think.

But when they start to get closer, Kagami who is ever-observant, notices him signing a little bit, (not ever to her, not ever on purpose, but he’d sometimes sign a word he needed to remember while speaking or sign along to emphasize something)

and she luckily for his anxiety, she doesnt know how to have a normal conversation either.

Her (platonic as well as romantic) love language is studying and research, and Nino seems very cool and she likes him, even if she is awful at holding a conversation with him or doing anything to show it.

She thinks he’s so cool and such an amazing talented kind friend. She has so much love for him that she doesnt know what to do with it. So she channels that energy into learning to sign through the internet and whatever tools she can find

And then after a while of this, she’s like “oh no, he’s gonna think that’s so creepy, I cant tell him I know sign language or he’ll be so uncomfortable”

So, like a whole idiot, she hides that she’s learning sign language from anyone. Because OBVIOUSLY if word got back to Nino, he’d assume it was because of him and that she was a weirdo he shouldn’t be friends with

But also Kagami accidentally falls in love with sign language because she has undiagnosed autism. She always assumed that communicating was just going to be impossible no matter what, but as she gets proficient in sign language she’s like,,, oh,,, OH,, this is very nice

Even just signing while she talks makes it so much easier to keep words and sentances straight, but she only does it when she’s alone with her mother, who is literally blind and would never know.

They become closer friends in late high school, and by that time a lot of Nino’s anxiety has worn off and he’s become completely comfortable letting teachers know when he needs to hear somthing, and middle school feels like a distant dream

At some point, Nino invites Kagami to his house a few times, and he signs with his mom. Nino is like “I can interpret for you,” and Kagami is like “wow thanks, I’m so lucky, because I obviously do not know any sign language, why would I have learned it, and also for the record it is brand new information to me that you can sign,” and Nino is like “cool? Its not a secret but im glad i told you if you somehow didnt already know,” and Kagami is like, “yep :)”

But then eventually as they become really close, they are texting one night, (Kagami can still barely get out of her house, so they need to communicate remotely. And both of then HATE phone calls bc its so hard to understand whats happening, but neither of them have admitted this to anyone)

Nino admits that he likes using sign language better than talking, and he wishes he could use it with his friends, but he’d feel so guilty asking them to learn an entire language just to make him slightly more comfortable. He can talk and hear OKAY so he shouldnt put the pressure on them.

and Kagami is like “you could always ask, worst case scenerio they say no, and i dont think thats an unreasonable demand” and nino is like “it is though,” and kagami’s like “ok so haha funny story, please dont hate me” and nino is like, “…what.” And kagami confesses everything and nino is like “why… why would i hate you for that?” And Kagami is like “oh wait youre right im stupid,”

And then Nino’s also like “hey if YOURE more comfortable signing too, then why dont YOU ask your friends to sign for you. Do you see what i mean? It’s hard to ask-” and kagami is like, “as your friend i will prove it is not.”

So then Kagami ends up confronting Adrien and Marinette the next day and is like “Hi. This is a sign language dictionary. Learn from it.” And they’re both like “what?” And she’s like “oh wait sorry. Backing up. I’m autistic. I decided like three years ago. Forgot to tell you. And I need you to learn to sign a little bit so you can understand if i sign something at you. If you want, of course. Please :D.” And theyre like “ok sure yeah i can do that.”

(Theyve already learned and accepted that shes extremely direct in asking for things)

So then she texts nino and is like “i did it. Youre welcome.”

But anyway both of them are uncomfortable in crowds and parties: Nino cant hear anyone and Kagami tends to get sensory overload, so they start signing mostly in those situations, and then it starts to sink in that they’re allowed to sign whenever and that the other really IS also comfortable with it.

(Both of them are much more willing to make sacrifices for others than to try something new and intimidating for themself, so this is the perfect situation to trick them into getting out of their comfort zone, ironically by trying to be more comfortable in the long run)

so they will just sit together and hang out and have long conversations while just chilling somewhere in a park or at cafes or whatever. Both of them become chattier than they’ve ever been because talking and understanding is so much easier, and its addicting

And their close friends all become proficient enough in sign language to have simple conversations.

But also Nino and Kagami start sitting together automatically even in group hangouts, and they start hanging out more with just the two of them, and soon neither of them feel bad about asking to hang out in quieter places, because they can justify it knowing that it will also help the other one, and together that makes both of them also more comfortable asking for little accomodations from other friends, if only to prove to the other that they can do it too.

And Kagami has the lesser-known autism side effect where she makes WAY TOO MUCH eye contact. She’s aware of it but that doesnt make it go away. Normally she feels so awkward about it, and overthinks her gaze because she doesnt want to scare people away. But when signing, you literally HAVE to be watching the other person constantly, so she has an excuse to just be herself, and its so relieving

(and also its kind of fun to look at Nino anyway because he can get so animated and his smile is really nice and oh no she is in love a little bit)

And Nino always struggles because he emotionally ALWAYS needs to be the nice polite one. His anxiety sometimes gets the better of him and he’s constantly worried about sending the wrong signals to his friends and coming off as rude somehow. But with Kagami, he can literally just ask?? And she will tell him her honest opinion without making it weird. And its so comfy and so good and he really loves hearing her unfiltered opinions on so many things because she sees the world in such a unique way and she gets so passionate about such little things and then oh no, he is fallen for her before he can realize it

And they also learn that they’re both artists, they both love to just observe the world because even if they;re awkward, people are actually pretty great most of the time, and its fun to observe them and try to capture the world, and they just sit together and sketch, or they watch each other sketch, and the thing is, both of them draw ONLY FOR THEMSELVES, its not a ‘skill,’ and they don;t want it to be, its just private art for relaxation. Somehow, though, its okay if they share their art with each other. They can just sit in comfortable silence for hours while one of them sketches something and the other watches patiently

And they start to get more comfortable with one of their heads resting on the other’s shoulder as they watch them doodle, and sitting so close their legs press together, and soon enough their hands start brushing against each other’s as they walk next to each other and then all of a sudden they’re casually holding hands whenever they’re not signing because it’s nice

They try to share headphones so Nino can share some of his favorite songs and his compositions with Kagami. But try as she might, Kagami can not handle the sensory of only having one earbud in. Nino knows her tells by that point, and he’s not about to let her suffer for a stupid reason, but she REALLY does want to hear his music. They somehow end up with Kagami putting a pair of headphones around her neck and turning up the volume a little bit so she can hear, while Nino rests his head on her shoulder so he can hear just enough to know where she is in the song

And then he has to sit up and scootch away just enough to see her hands so they can talk about it, and they both pretend not to notice how nice it was to snuggle as they sign. Its fine, though, because now they get the excuse to just look at each other again and sign overdramatically with exaggerated facial expressions, and no one else around can overhear their conversation, and Nino likes to go a little over the top when signing onomatopoeia and acting out particular parts of the song rhythm that he likes, and Kagami laughs, and they both mentally save the image of each other in this moment the same way that they look at reference images for artwork, memorizing the lines of each movement and the things that make each smile unique,

and Nino also shows up at every single one of her fencing tournaments, and he sits as close as he can and signs encouraging messages to her from the crowd whenever she’s not actively competing, (that her blind mom can never catch, which is somewhat of a bonus to Kagami, because every element of their friendship that her mother cant interact with makes this more personal and special and HERS). Every little sign she sends back at him, even a simple thank you, always feels so good and rebellious and free because shes supposed to be focusing on fencing but shes deciding to care more about friendship. And even if she’s expected to leave immediately afterword, she’ll find every excuse possible to find him and give him a hug, which he’ll always accept even though she jokingly warns him shes sweaty and gross

And eventually they are special best friends and it brings them instant joy to see each other and theyre able to interact for no reason other than that they want to and like each other

(And then they kiss)

[doberbutts]

i saw someone talking about using ‘force-free’ training, and saying that use of tools (meaning everything excluding leash and harness) is abusive to the dog. they were talking about ethics in service dog training, and saying that a lot of the techniques used to train service dogs is abusive. tbh i thought it was a bit sketch, especially as they were saying that having a service dog to deal with autistic meltdowns and ‘emotional outbursts’ is wrong and that SDs shouldnt be used for that, however i thought i’d ask you since youre an authority on the subject? thank you, and have a lovely day!

I wouldn't really call myself a SD authority. I'm Just Some Guy.

A lot of people take really extreme stances in training and a lot of people consider working dogs to be inherently abusive. And I think those people are stupid, so.

[ms-demeanor]

So are you saying we shouldnt judge trumpers? Are you saying we should befriend them? Are you saying we should learn the difference between conciously decided organized yt supremacists and complacent/uninformed ones? Are you saying that theyl uninformed ones/complacent etc arent dangerous? Im not trying to be aggressive/argumentative, however im autistic and not understanding the point youre trying to make but like i want to understand.

This is a really good excuse for me to break this down in simple terms, so thank you for this ask.

I think we should be cautious about labeling the 70 million americans who voted for the incumbent republican president as white supremacists.

Being a (noun) White Supremacist is different than being complicit in a white supremacist system. (noun) White Supremacists are extremely dangerous and are typically that way intentionally, most of the people who are complicit in a white supremacist system are more likely to be unaware of the fact that they’re benefiting from white supremacy.

The second group (i like your term, uninformed ones), the Uninformed White Supremacists aren’t *not* dangerous but they may be able to be informed of the system they’re participating in and choose to reject it if they are approached cautiously and educated over time. They absolutely CAN be dangerous and but I don’t think that they’re completely unreachable in political discussions. Basically I think that if you approach the uninformed white supremacists in a friendly manner and slowly make them informed about thing they can become less white supremacist and less dangerous.

I don’t honestly think that you should befriend republicans if you don’t have to. This controversy has popped up because I said my neighbor, who voted for trump, is attractive and has sympathetic qualities and that I would lend him tools if he asks. That doesn’t, in my opinion, make him my friend, but it does put me in a better position to talk about my political beliefs around him and make him take me more seriously than he might take a random person who shares my political beliefs that he ran into on the street.

I do think that if you are safe enough to do so you should try to do outreach for your political beliefs whenever you can. For instance I am a sex worker who is much safer and less threatened by that work than many other sex workers I know so I talk to a lot of anti-sex work people about why sex work isn’t inherently bad and should be decriminalized. That doesn’t mean that I think that sex workers should become friends with SWERFs or that I think we should unilaterally forgive anti-sex work people for voting on bills and ordinances that hurt sex workers.

I personally don’t find “judgement” to be a useful or actionable term. I am critical of trump voters, I will denounce their beliefs and work against their desires. I will prevent their policies from going into place wherever I can. I don’t want to hang out with them and I usually don’t get along with them on anything beyond an extremely superficial level. But if you don’t give people room to grow they don’t grow. If you permanently label them “republican white supremacist trump voter for ever and always” they can’t learn to NOT be that.

And. Like “Cool motive, still murder.” I recognize that while people may have different and complicated reasons for voting republican they are still doing something harmful and I acknowledge that - that is precisely why I think it’s important to provide them with alternatives to the conclusions they’ve arrived at.

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

as an autistic person who used to stress out a LOT about my tone online I just want to say: you don’t have to use tone indicators if you don’t want to

i spent a lot of my time online as a kid worrying about how i came across, and if i sounded excited enough, or sincere enough, and trying to compensate for that  just made me more exhausted and stressed, and at the end of the day, most of the time it didn’t really matter. if you’re talking to a friend, they’re going to know you’re happy for them even if you don’t put a /pos at the end of it. and if you’re worried they won’t, it might not be your tone you’re worried about, but the person you’re talking to. if someone’s naturally argumentative, you’re more likely to want to use a method of conversation that helps you avoid fights, but sometimes, you can just stop talking to someone if they stress you out

sometimes its not the other persons fault. a lot of the times when i was hyper-aware of my own texting, it was because i was new to a group, and i wanted to make sure i came across as friendly, but all it did was remind me that i was an outsider in that group, and that i had to try to fit in. and the thing is, if you’re using indicators in a situation like that, it doesn’t actually mean you’re coming across the way you intend to. what happens when someone takes your /nm as sarcastic or rude, because they don’t understand why else you’d tag your message like that? you cant prevent all misunderstandings by stating your feelings, and expecting you can is just going to lead to disappointment or frustration.

thats not to say you shouldnt try to avoid miscommunication. if you know a friend has a problem with sarcasm, it’s not a bad idea to tell them when you’re being sarcastic, and a tone indicator usually doesn’t take that much extra effort, and yeah, its probably a good idea to practice being clear on your tones when talking to strangers, but a lot of people will give you the benefit of the doubt with or without a tone tag.

and sure, maybe this sounds obvious, but if you’re sending messages like “OMG CONGRATS! /POS” you’ve definitely thought too much about this. and its okay to stop

[leafcabbage]

i am going to elaborate i have decided

so. you may ask. “cabbage you have never seemed like someone who has boundaries you seem like you would give your social security number to someone for laughs.” and i would say “thats not a question”

despite that, i will elaborate. yeah, i do overshare, but im pretty careful about what i say, so none of y’all actually know me. maybe it shouldnt bother me that people assume they know things about me or how i “should” act, but like, i am a real person, and i suppose i dont have to justify those feelings. it genuinely wasnt one thing that one person did or whatever, it’s been some commenters, a few posts ive seen, some askers, several anons- all of it led up to yesterdays choice. also, i shouldn’t be anxious or upset by things on this dumbass blog. its supposed to be fun. ive put too much weight into this. literally all of my reactions are my problem because i let myself put too much of my time and energy into being cabbage leafcabbage. what can i say, recognition feels good at the end of the day. 

now youre like “okay but what the fuck does that actually mean???”

yeah thats fair. it means i do want to focus more on writing on here and i probably(?) will be less active, but i genuinely dont want to stop interacting with you guys other than that all together. i’d like the main focus of this blog to be writing. i’d like the majority of my content on here to be about my fic. but i do like the funny little interactions we have and the asks for the most part. so... things. i guess. that should be kept in mind. questions for yourself, perhaps. “should i send this to a friend instead of a fanfic author?”, “is this something i should say to a 20 year old i dont know on the internet?”, “am i trying to get validation from someone who i see as “cool” (ahaha thanks) in a way that won’t actually help me?” and other stuff like that. 

examples of things besides fic questions i am happy to answer: give insight on things i have experience with (writing, student gov, college, being aroace/trans/autistic/etc), talk about dsmp/mcyt, talk about other media i like, give media recs, give opinions, etc

examples of things i am not going to answer: stuff i just... cant play off of? like if i cant give an answer thats gonna add to things i wont answer. it doesnt mean you did something wrong, im just gonna filter through more. i wont talk about trauma, not gonna answer asks about how your day went, i wont answer asks with any personal info in them... just generally if you wouldn’t talk to an acquaintance youre at a cafe with about it, dont send it to me. 

also, i appreciate that you care about me, but dont tell me to sleep/drink water/ take a break/ etc. im not upset with you if youve done that of course, but im 20. i know how to take care of myself. i know to drink water and sleep and eat. 

one more thing- if you would say it to a dog, don’t say it to me. so weird that i have to say that. 

“cabbage you seem to be thinking about one more big important thing that you hope people will read even if they skipped the rest of this do you want to talk about that?”

oh boy do i!

you guys terrify me. specifically the minors who follow this blog. please, please be careful of who you are sharing things with on the internet. things that seem harmless can give adults who want to hurt you leverage, an in, something they can talk to you about to try to gain your trust. i can tell you “i care about your safety” and you still don’t know if i am telling the truth! im sure you’ve gotten the “be safe on the internet” lecture from adults who dont even know what happens on here nowadays, and yeah that shits hella outdated, but i am someone who grew up on tumblr, so please at least think about what im saying.

 when you tell people on the internet about your mental health/triggers/any personal or identifying information, you are providing them with information they can use against you. i do not at all mean this in a victim blaming way, if something happens that is not your fault, but i am asking you to be careful now.  using my cafe analogy again, if an adult comes and sits at your table, your first reaction shouldn’t be to tell them personal information. adults should not be reaching out to you (there’s a reason i only message y’all if its for permission to print your artwork. it would be hella weird for me to try to strike up a conversation). no adults should be telling you youre different or mature or whatever. please just be careful with who you’re trusting and who you’re talking to. good interactions =\= good intent. a person with a platform =\= a good person.

“are you finally done?”

yeah i am. all that to say im sticking with fanfic related asks rn but if you stick to what ive said i may answer others in the future. thanks for reading this and thank you for being such a wonderful community (cough, for the most part, cough). im probably gonna be more harsh going forward on things that cross boundaries because im shit at setting them. that doesnt mean im upset with you as a person i just need to make things clear. i hope you guys are doing well and thank you again

[stone-butch-blue]

sorry but a socially inept person whos "excruciatingly painful" to talk to because they have one (special?) interest and need to heavily script social encounters+always a have a security blanket (coping device) is probably autistic. sorry we suck so much to be around ig??

like for me that script is heavily influenced by what other people want me to say but thats an incredibly painful isolating way to live. sorry some autistic people wanna actually be happy and comfortable in their day to day lives and have found coping mechanisms that make you slightly uncomfortable because you cant be assed to SAY youre uncomfortable with the conversation or say you need a topic change.

because chances are they have no idea it makes you uncomfortable. maybe take control of your own destiny there instead of leaving it up to your conversational partner to monitor your mood and respond accordingly.

like i went to highschools that were primarily for autistic kids throughout highschool, 3 different ones. 95% of autistic people match those patterns and if it isnt fandom ita trains or yarn or art or movie direction or math or fuck i dunno. welding? it doesnt matter what it is and its always different. but a lot of them do choose fandom spaces. literally everything here can be chalked up to being bad at stuff or annoying. cannot tell you how many times ive been told im bad at stuff or annoying. you can find it annoying,you can reblog this. autistic people arent safe from criticism i guess but if knowing the people youre talking about are often autistic (or emotionally neglected.... the fucking overlap there is wild i see you guys too and all the other people w trauma or intellectual disabilities who end up being that guy too) makes this feel a little pointless and mean and youd rather talk about gatekeeping fandom spaces from "fakes" or "casuals" (or poc, queer people, etc), inappropriate interaction with others thats actually harmful like suibating randos online for having a non gross/harmdul opinion (or anyone ever), or sexualizing minors, or sexually harassing irl actors or some shit maybe dont reblog it when you think its about "normal" people or whatever, because if it IS actually harmless and not malicious... its harmless and not malicious thats all i can say.

Roger Ebert just destroying some specific kind of nerd(s). 

[compassionatereminders]

thank you so much! you seem really cool too, and like i said i definitely have my own qualms about the autistic community and how it feels like it takes center stage (along with ADHD) in nd spaces. as an adhd-autistic person with a plethora of other disorders it makes it difficult for me to feel comfortable talking about my less-accepted disorders like ptsd, derealisation disorder and such or like my partner who has an undiagnosed dissociative disorder (we believe osdd) and feels the need to keep it hidden from most people.

i wish the nd community wasnt so divided and that more people would uplift the voices of those with less well-known and more demonised disabilities. it really makes me sad to see people promoting neurodivergency acceptance, uplifting autistic people and then go and call anyone they dont like a narcissist or a ps*cho. neurodivergency acceptance shouldnt just mean autism and adhd, it should mean all forms of neurodivergency and discussions like this are ones we should be having as a communuty!! that no matter the labels that a majority of disorders are all incredibly similar and we all have similar experiences and struggles, we shouldnt fight over whats worse or try and stuff each other in these hard and fast boxes. we are all neurodivergent, we all deal with ableism, and we should all stand in solidarity with one another!

i feel like i cant say this enough but i love your blog, you seem like an incredibly sweet and caring person and ive really loved talking to you. your posts cheer me up when im at my lowest and remind me that life cant always be so bad. i struggle really badly with dealing with my neurodivergencies and its really really so validating and uplifting seeing your posts. ive always wanted to reach out and thank you for posting what you do and im suuper glad i can do it while having an awesome discussion with you! <3

Yeah if you didn't know any better you'd think that autism and ADHD were the only neurodivergencies. Back when I was blogging about my schizophrenia, I never felt welcomed let alone included in the neurodivergent community despite literally belonging there. There were no steps being taken to include people like me with disorders like schizophrenia. It was all autism this and ADHD that and we were only a handful of people sitting in a small corner talking about schizophrenia. That experience stuck with me and that's why I made the post I made. It wasn't my intention to shit on autistic people, I just wanted to make them aware that their general lack of solidarity with anything beyond ADHD has been frequently noted by me and others - and I wanted to start a discussion about that, not just a conflict.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

Rant/vent under the cut; talk about ableism and disabilities. Read at your own risk.

The word disabled has always felt a bit taboo for me to use, because it’s so often associated with physical disability. And honestly, I’m glad that there’s been an upswing in recognition for physical disabilities, even if many of them are still underdiagnosed and underaccommodated. I want to work towards a world where physical disabilities are accommodated without blinking. Where its just normal to have those accommodations there, and there isn’t an ever-growing list of skeezy people trying to circumvent even bare minimum ADA requirements.

I’d also like it if mental disorders were more recognized as disabilities, and accommodated without stigma, just as physical disabilities ought to be. I would like to be able to say I’m disabled and not get a rush of family members trying to reassure me that “no, honey, don’t worry, it’s all in your head, you’re not that messed up!” (which is ableist in several ways). I’d like to ask for accommodations and not have to fight tooth and nail because “can’t you technically deal with it? Shouldnt you just put up with the pain?” And no! I shouldn’t! But I’m not obviously disabled, so unless I act a certain way, people don’t see a thing. Being autistic is a fun quirk that lets me wear earplugs at the greeter stand. Having ADHD makes me funny in bio class.

tbh I’m mostly thinking about this because I was remeasuring myself for my actual bra size, and just thinking about going shopping for a new bra made my anxiety spike so high that I had to have Calm Down Time before I had a meltdown. And thinking about how hard it is just to keep up with school and work and clubs and medical appointments. i haven’t scheduled a meeting with my therapist in months, I waited three weeks too long to get my ADHD meds refilled by my doctor, and I need help to clean my room. And I’m lucky, because my symptoms are mild enough that I can technically mask them for a bit. I can walk into an interview and not have them figure out I’m autistic and ADHD until my first day at work. I can hold a job and do school at the same time, even if it takes up so much of my executive function that I only do laundry on holidays. I can take a shower once a week on average, I’ve picked at my hair so much that there’s a bald strip down my scalp, cleaning my room overwhelms me so much that I just want to collapse on my bed and sleep for a year, but I’m lucky because I can keep my grades up and therefore keep my scholarship money.

and I just- I keep struggling to accept that this might be as much as I can do. I see most of my classmates joining tons of clubs and applying for research labs, and I’m lucky if I make it to chemistry class. And I know my resume will be worse for it, but at this point, I genuinely think trying to add something else to my schedule would burn me out in a few weeks. I want to have a future in medicine, but if I’m scraping by as it is, I genuinely don’t know if I can survive med school.

I had a girl ask me last month, completely well-meaning, what “superpowers” my autism gave me, and I felt embarrassed that my only “genius” trait was my reading speed. I wanted to make something up. Something that would make me look good, something that says “hey look, I’m autistic, but it’s okay, I make up for it.” I wonder how she’d feel if I told her my ADHD didn’t make me suddenly good at problem solving. Or that my main reason for pursuing an autism evaluation is because my sensory issues keep interrupting my quality of life. That my actual goshdang disabilities usually make my academic performance worse, not better.

*sigh*. I need to email my advisor for the third time about class registration. I’m weeks behind; I’ll be lucky if class slots aren’t full already. And I need to go to the pharmacy after work tomorrow. I also need to finish designing the survey for our research project; it needs to be rolled out as soon as possible. My room’s an eternal mess, my laundry pile grows stronger every day, but Hey. I took a shower today. Small victories.

im so tired.

[sortagaysortahigh]

hi bae i have a questionnnnnnnnn

it’s not at all meant to sound disrespectful. i genuinely want to learn and if u answer me with “idc i’m still gatekeeping it” i will legit leave, accept it and not bring it up again

so brown people (people from india) obv haven’t received any representation from disney either but when i watched encanto for the first time i honestly felt really good about it. i hope this isn’t offensive but i feel like there are at least a few similarities between the issues that latinx and indian people faced at the hands of white people in terms of imperialism and colonization and such SO (this is SUCH A BAD WAY TO PHRASE IT AND IM SORRY IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY) i was wondering if u could talk a little more about why you prefer encanto being something specifically for the latinx community? i’m still totally fine with it! just curious

Hi bby, its not a bad question at all!!! When i talk ab gatekeeping and specify latinx people being the ones to talk ab it specifically is because a lot of white people and even other bipoc dont really understand the movie or the cultural depictions of traditions and trauma overall bc they dont come from a latinx background. Thats not to say other bipoc like yourself wont get it bc theres always gonna be similarities between certain cultures literally bc of imperialism and colonization but its more like the people who dont get the movie and its cultural highlights or the literal generational trauma the movie zones in on shouldnt be running thwir mouths ab the movie or shit talking abuela or making headcannons like omg isabella is a lesbian, omg brunos autistic or xyz bc he knocks on the wood and throws salt over his shoulder, or even the luisas a masculine lesbian thing like bro shut that shit down cause yall dont even see wtf youre doing. Its overshadowing the movie and its purpose and its meaning and people needa gtf w that. Thats what i mean when im like gatekeep that hoe cuase im tired of the headcannons and the shit talking of characters

[la5t-res0rt]

fun fact fucko no one cares that he’s trans, gnc, or autistic. all they care about is that he said someone wasn’t bisexual all because they hate them. thats fucked up no matter who you are. being austistic isn’t an excuse to be an utter dick hole.

alrighty folks strap in because we are in for a long one today

to start off i will begin by saying that i care about the identities of people i like and call friends i care enough to listen and learn from them because they have different perspectives on issues that i as a person who is none of the things that this person is will ever understand

it is important to listen to people and learn from them not just shine a light out of your ass for someone out of a weird place of blind worship thats honestly so cringey but that isnt what this is about this about you and likely others harassing ad sending death threats my friend and comrade betel bitches

i will now be going under a readmore to spare the dashboard

so lets recap what exactly is he being harassed for

as you all are no doubt aware there is a blog called nether receipts where a certain user we shall not name catalogs instances where members of the beetlejuice fandom are harassed correction its a blog where this person catalogs instances where flaws in their character as well as the characters of the people around her are highlighted and critiqued with the occaisional off color remark and threat which i obviously do not approve of who would

anyway following reading some ill-informed and not-so-well-phrased comments from a certain narcissistic user about their sexuality my friend had this to say

this was the post that got them put on this receipts blog which really exists as a source of people for a certain cluster of the beetlebabe fandom to harass and try to drag or cancel 

this is the post that has made people call him biphobic and here is why thats wrong and stupid

you said in your ask that he only is saying that this icky person is not bisexual because there is malice between them and while yes its true that there is malice orion never once said that this person wasnt bisexual

i took the liberty of sifting through the harassment asks he received yesterday because you all love receipts so much i took the liberty of grabbing a few and adding some highlights so you dont miss the important bits

orion never once said this person isnt bisexual he stated that equating doing femme on femme  pornography to bisexuality is a biphobic statement and is in fact a problematic thing to say

there may be crossover between bisexual people and people who do femme on femme but they are far from the same thing doing pornography is a choice you actively make and you do it for compensation however being bisexual is simply part of who you are it is something you dont choose 

although this person would perhaps disagree

and before you come for me this person posted these for the world to see and obviously i have as many receipts as my drive can carry furthermore how does this argument make sense why would you care so much about heterophobia if youre not heterosexual why are you so pressed oh wait is it perhaps

because this person is using the split attraction model for woke points like this screams that this person sees women as sex objects or perhaps this person is comphet and is denying themselves because heteronormativity is so deeply ingrained in their being that they wish to cling to heterosexuality to keep up their squeaky clean white feminist woman persona or maybe theyre just not well informed on lgbt+ issues

editors note the editor is an ace person who considers using the split attraction model is situations like this isnt exactly helpful like i cant stop you from doing it but you shouldnt have to say im a bisexual heteromantic person you can just be a  bisexual woman and keep dating men you dating men doesnt erase your bisexuality saying that you would have sex with a woman but not romantically be involved with them makes the editor think woman = sex object and as a feminist the editor has to say thats fucked up

i will reiterate implying that doing pronography of any kind is equitable to a human sexualty is harmful to bisexual people and if youre like uhhh im bi and i think its okay guess what you do not speak for every single bi person so you should try harder to be compassionate for other peoples level of comfort

in any case statements like these are hurtful to bi people equating voluntary sex work to a sexuality isnt okay and its something that person should maybe address and consider apologizing for but since this person only listens to people in their inner circle and they dont even really listen to them its unlikely that this person will ever make amends for past biphobic tendencies because as everyone has been so quick to point out being bi doesnt excuse biphobia or homophobia or anything of the sort editors note heterophobia is not a legitimate issue im sorry if you feel oppressed for your straightness but really thats a you issue 

here is one more screenshot where my friend basically covers what i have just said as well as reminding the world that the owner of nether receipts is a narcissist 

being a bisexual person does not excuse you from saying biphobic things and there is literally no identifier you can use for yourself that exempts you from criticism for your actions and it doesnt mean that people cant demand that you address the wrongs youve done or said

you dont have to listen you dont have to do anything but dont be surprised if you say something shitty to a group of people and they get mad at you

also all that being said what orion said was not biphobic if anything he is raephobic but lets be honest who isnt ok there thats my one funny haha for you

we have every right to criticize someone who creates simulated cp and shares it with minors in 18+ servers or someone who equated bisexuality to voluntary sex work or someone who accuses people who disagree with them of being fascists or nazis or someone who goes out of their way to repost and edit art in a mocking manner or someone who actively claims to own a fandom like these are all critique worthy behaviors that all come from the same person who never explains their actions never holds themselves accountable for the shit they cause like we as people who share the same space as this person have every write to call bull roar when we see it

it is no secret that i dislike his person and it is also no secret that i will not hesitate to the the opportunity to drag them for being a shitty person whenever the opportunity arises and since their most recent beef with me was about how i was a bad friend i guess i figured this would be a good time to come forward for one of my friends who received dozens of harassment messages and several death threats over his commentary on the actions of this one vile individual

and i am addressing them now if they ever end up reading this or when it is inevitably sent to this person 

if youve got a problem with the way he and i or other antis critique you maybe come out from behind your wall of dipshit cronies and talk to us your damn self i am very sick of having to deal with nasti or morgan or that one minor or suz or that person that runs the rp blog or any of the others in your little hoard im tired of them trying to be slick like we see you we see all of you

all of your simulated cp aside youve said some really shitty things that you could easily amend since youve likely learned more about what it means to be lgbt+ since it is now a community you see yourself being a part of 

part of being human is learning from your past and making a better version of yourself for tomorrow and although i think you are a really awful person i dont think youre above self betterment and self reflection and self awareness 

also you dont seem to care at all when threats are being tossed around by your buddies but no matter how much me or orion or any of the others dislike what you do no person in their right mind would be okay with sending death threats and you shouldnt either you should at the very least extend that courtesy 

anyway

fuck you asker youre full of trash garbage and i hope you have a not so good day like i hope it rains or something invalidate my friends identity and ill yell at clouds