#i should. i accidentally made myself super invested

[superrainbow06]

Does anyone else take those pieces of media that you like a lot but hate the creator to the point where you don't interact with the media anymore and just start taking what you remember of the media and making it your own? Like adding characters and concepts and removing things you don't like until what you end up with is almost entirely different? But like not in a normal writing fanfic way, like in a way where you simultaneously called cps on them, are cps, and got custody of the child

Honestly. Best way to disrespect a creator you hate imo. Just take something they made and be like 'nah this is better (turns your queerphobic story into a story about queer people being extremely queer and found family)' and then completely ignore the original in favor of this random story you like so much more that you made in your brain in like 2 months

This is still good to do for a story that you think would be better if it was altered or want to tamper with or experiment. But it is made infinitely better if you do it out of spite and then end up adoring your version way more than you ever liked the original.

[suffarustuffaru]

If you don't mind me asking but when did you first get into re:zero

yeah i dont mind at all :o ig yallre gonna hear my full origin story now haah. its my—my… ok id say tragic backstory but i dont think this is really that tragic LMAO. my humorous backstory? silly backstory?

anyway i got into rezero in summer of 2020!! this was months before s2 started airing and by around this time there was just s1, s1 directors cut may or may not have been out?? i forgor :<, but then s2’s first teaser came out right about now.

it was quarantine…. i was bored one day and wanted smth new to watch… and by then id only really briefly seen rezero—like you know that s1 promo poster with subaru standing there while surrounded by some of the main girls in s1 (beatrice felt emilia rem ram)?? yeah id seen that. in the back of my mind i kinda assumed the show was just another one of those abt a dude surrounded by his harem of girls or smth?? :< but then i learned the Real Premise is the time travel. via death!!!! and ive always loveddd angst and whump so i was like “NO FUCKING WAY I HIT THE JACKPOT” and eagerly looked into rezero some more to see if it was worth watching. and then i saw all the shit reviews on rz that never seemed to agree on if it was good or not…… and then gigguk’s video…… and then i saw mother’s basement on youtube make a defense of rezero s1 and i was like!!! ok fuck it im watching this show. i want the angst i want the complex time travel shit. i think id spoiled myself on a couple of subarus deaths by this point trying to decide if i should commit to rezero and then i started binge watching s1!! esp when i was like ok this is a good time to get into it s2 was announced right??

anyway i got hooked on rezero fr 👍👍 the first s1 emisuba lap pillow had me quaking in my boots ;-;;; and i was already invested from ep1 bc i liked the characters a lot already!!! i am simply BUILT DIFFERENT i loved subaru from day one!!! by the royal selection episodes ofc i was dying of secondhand embarrassment but tbh i grew even more invested in rezero after that!! i was and still am super impressed that the narrative had the balls to have subaru fuck up sooo so so bad there. like seeing that emisuba argument and the julisuba duel for the first time was crazyyy. the conflict was really good and the latter s1 development…. woagh.

and then you know i finish s1 and i immediately get to researching how to read, i read arc 4’s wn and bawl my eyes out from the sheer amount of rollercoaster both the emotions and Long Ass Novel gave me (yes i was bawling my eyes out at parent and child) (yes i was bawling my eyes out at choose me) (yes i was bawling my eyes out for all the suffering loops) (yes i was bawling) (i have no clue how i read all those pages fr like that arc is massive), i speedrun arc 5, i accidentally spoil certain bits for myself (arc 6 stuff), i read most of arc 6 in spurts, tune in every week for s2 (and bawled my eyes out seeing the s2 part 1 op for the first time) etc etc!! one thing lead to another and now i am here…….. three yrs in this fandom… nearly (?) a yr being active on rezero tumblr… HAH

also i made a reddit account back inn…. 2020 or 2021 bc i wanted to be a tinyyy bit active in rezero reddit (this was half a mistake btw. i think i have more balls of steel now but my younger self was sooooo naive. shaking them by the shoulders. this is an anime fandom!!!!!! and this is reddit!!! whatre u expecting???? i am less shy now on the internet thats for sure!!). anyway im still a tiny bit active on rz reddit now after not touching it for like a year. now i use my reddit account for spreading otto propaganda and slander /lh …../hj

but anyway ive never been active in fandoms until rezero and thats bc id usually lurk and a lot of my past hyperfixation medias were :< big fandoms :<<< but then. ok im a fanfic enjoyer and i didnt write much fanfic or publish fic at all before this fandom but then in 2020 after watching s1 i checked rezero’s ao3 page and *sniffles* *sobs* thERE WAS ONLY LIKE 2 PAGES ON THERE MAN….. A WHOLE DESERT…. yes and then one thing lead to another and now there is more fic and also ig id be considered an english fic writer elder maybe…… i started posting in like fall/winter 2020? and maaaan im one of the only ppl from that era whos still posting i think!!! ive seen the entire english fanfic scene pop up!! ive participated in a bunch of community events… sooo wild to think about. i feel old guys!!!

but now i have gotten more and more active in the rz fandom yes :3 its been fun!! rezero is very important media to me and ive met lots of cool people in my time here :) when october 2024 rolls around itll be s3 time (AAAAA HYPE HYPE HYPE) and like four yrs of me being in this fandom?? its wild but my lifes genuinely changed a lot bc of me getting into rezero!! met lots of cool people… made pals… gotten my writing and art out there and improved on it via. large amounts of rezero fanart HAH.. became more unhinged.. etc etc :D even got to meet one of my buddies i met via rezero irl 👍👍 more irl crossover events will happen i swear.

also gigguk in my eyes redeemed himself for his old rezero skit vid by making a glowing review for rezero s2 with his pals. i can forgive him i suppose :<<<

in conclusion: idk if i count as a fandom elder but i sure have a lot of my own fandom lore pfft :<<<

[1caru]

Hello 1caru I was wondering if you had a moment for me to ask, what brand of sketch book do you use and what type of art supplies like colored pencils, marker, etc also I love your art some much it is amazing I hope you have a wonderful day. :) sincerely shyflower-artz

Hello!

My main tools of the trade are: mechanical pencils, ballpoint pens, colored pencils, and PaintTool SAI. I also keep both blank and lined paper on hand.

That being said, my preferences have changed over the years. I used to buy fancier stuff like Blick brand paper and colored pencils, but just like many other artists I struggled to bring myself to use such nice supplies. I tried buying super cheap composition notebooks and office pens instead, and that alone made me much more excited to draw and helped me improve far faster. Now I buy the cheapest option for everything except my blank paper, Blick drawing pads are really nice so I still get those. Crayola colored pencils are also pretty cool. I will say I should invest in some nicer pens, the ones I currently use take a while to dry and I keep accidentally smudging the ink. It's not hard to find good affordable pens, I just got unlucky.

Currently, a lot of my art is made by doing a pencil sketch on drawing paper, doing the line art over that with any ballpoint pen, taking a photo of the art with my phone, and coloring that photo in PaintTool SAI by setting the layer with the photo to "multiply" and putting all my color layers under the photo layer. There are no physical markers involved, I refuse to waste any more money on a single one of those pathetic little wallet-draining demons.

Anyway thanks for the ask! I hope you have a great day too <3

[missingn000]

so i finally worked out the details of my jjk-sxf crossover au

-it's a no-curse modern au

-first fic in the series is a toji & yor oneshot where they meet in a dog park playing with bond and divine dogs. yor shows some feat of insane strength and toji realizes they're alike; they discuss the pros and cons of their similarities and it ends with them setting up a playdate for their kids. megumi has beef with anya already

-next story is loid & nanami bonding over their pink problem children. this one is a yuuji and sukuna are twins au. sukuna is still a little demon who shouts "unhand me, you mortal!!!" when nanami tries to get him to listen. nanami sighs & goes along with it like "not until his highness finishes his vegetables"

-i have this mental image of master henderson sighing at the itadori twins & anya being like "why is it whenever something happens, it's always you three?"

-can y'all even imagine the volleyball episode with itadori twins, megumi, and anya? rip bill watkins

LOTS more below cut

-all the jjk kids (itadori twins, megumi, etc) come to eden in anya's second year. can you even apply to eden after first grade? who knows, but in this au i'm deciding they can. they're all in the same hall

-don't ask me how yuuji got into eden, i don't know either. i like to think that despite being the most troublesome, sukuna is the first to become an imperial scholar. it does NOT help with his ego

-i got myself accidentally invested in partners in crime sukuna & anya??? after overhearing his classmates call anya creepy and violent for something she did a year ago on her first day of school, sukuna gets pissed they're being superficial and judgmental towards her, so he beats up some random kid to take the heat off her

-they become best friends after that. sukuna only gets one toni bolt too because henderson realizes he did it to protect anya

-sukuna doesn't approve of damian & scares the shit out of him. he gives damian the most terrifying shovel talk of all time when anya and damian finally get together

-wouldn't it be so cool if yor and toji went on a mission together? that could be an epic story in itself

-i think mamaguro still dies in this au (though she's still alive in the first story). toji doesn't go completely off the rails though since he has friends to support him. yor especially helps a lot since they're quite close by now

-that said, megumi still needs two parents to get into eden. yor does him a "favor" and gets loid to convince nightfall to pretend to be megumi's mother for the interview

-yeah, i accidentally made myself ship them. toji could fix her i think. imagine how awkward and adorable fiona bonding with megumi would be. also, trope of found family + melting the ice princess?? i am HERE for it. also fiona fushiguro just sounds really good

-gojo needs to be a dad in all stories of mine, so he'd be the adoptive papa of nanako and mimiko ofc, but also he needs zen'in kids so he takes in maki and mai. god what a household

-gojo and getou are married. gojo is a famous genius astrophysicist and getou is a (former?) concert violinist who cracked under the pressure and is mostly a stay at home dad now

-nanami is married to shoko. she's a surgeon and a total enabler of her sons' mischief

-still working on everyones' backstories, but i'm thinking the itadori twins' mom (kaori or kenjaku?? she couldn't have been possessed in a no curse au, but...i'll figure something out) was a serial killer who murdered jin, hence the boys needing to be adopted. still deciding whether or not kaori was caught or is on the loose

-the boys were first taken by a lab similar to anya's, which is how they got super-strength, but it was shut down

-took the boys a while to find a good home, since many potential adoptive parents had a stigma towards them because of who their mother was. nanami and shoko thought it absurd that children should be cast aside solely because of their parentage

-sukuna saw kaori kill jin and it scarred him pretty badly, hence why he's way more jaded and a problem child than yuuji. he kinda blames himself for not being able to save his father, despite being literally four at the time. his greatest fear is turning out like his mother

this is all still developing, but i'm really excited to work on it!! it def won't be a linear multichap like tpg, probably more like a series of oneshots as i get new ideas. hopefully i'll have the first part published soon!

[dokidokitsuna]

GREAT NEWS

I BEAT MR. GRIZZ :D (i.e. I finally finished Splatoon 3′s story mode)

...The final section (ascending the launchpad + multistage boss fight) really wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be; I shouldn’t have put it off for so long. ^^; It was more annoying than anything, tbh...

Originally when I was watching playthroughs of Return of the Mammalians my biggest criticism was that this story mode felt like busywork, and unfortunately after having played through it myself it still feels that way. :/ Of course, that’s probably why I actually got through it-- having so little investment in the story took the pressure off-- but that doesn’t mean I can’t find fault with it...

Every level feels more like a random challenge than a part of a larger journey that actually means something, and even the setup for the story that’s there feels superficial. For example, O.R.C.A.: I can buy that there’s an AI living in Alterna that acts as a lore-keeper for its long-dead civilization. I can even buy that accomplishments *of some sort* should earn you the right to read the lore that it’s keeping. But why does it specifically give the Agent physical challenges (did the people of Alterna have to go through these...? Why would they??) Why are these challenges populated by the fuzzy Octarians that are supposedly under Mr. Grizz’s control? Why do we spend 90% of the story mode with this random A.I. that really has nothing to do with the plot...???

Its constant inclusion in the story makes you think it’s working together with Mr. Grizz (that’s what I initially suspected...) but in the end it turns out that’s not the case? As of now, O.R.C.A. is a neutral party and I don’t think Grizz ever even acknowledges its existence...despite the fact that it provides the infrastructure for every single level from Octo Canyon’s collapse to the rocket launch. You’d really think such an integral aspect of the gameplay would be equally integral to the story...but instead it’s just kind of there...

It feels like the devs just handed us a CQ clone that accidentally lacked any justification for its actions or existence in the story...and then stapled Deep Cut and Mr. Grizz’s backstory onto that concept and called it a day. All these things feel so disconnected, and there’s not enough camp to cement it all together. Which worries me a bit, because the Splatoon series usually oozes camp...it’s like they saw the success of Octo Expansion and took the wrong lesson from it. 

Tartar’s antics, the psychedelic visuals, and Agent 8′s subtle characterization were what made that DLC fun; the added lore didn’t really matter that much. On the flipside, Return of the Mammalians has a fairly grounded setting where you spend most of your time marching around the snow earning lore...as a blank-slate MC who’s friends with (I hate to say it...) a Deus ex Machina. :/

All that is to say, I hope this is just an isolated mild disappointment, and not the beginning of a trend. I won’t mind RotM being the way it is if Side Order, for instance, is a super-impressive return to form. ^^;

[stutterfly]

Swipe Right 04 | Patch Notes | JJK (M)

Rating: M (Explicit 18+)

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, brot7 x friendship

Genre: E2L, fluff, angst, humor, [eventual] smut, PersonalTrainer!Jungkook, fuckboy!Jungkook, Nerd!Jungkook, Nerd/IT!Reader

Word Count: 15.1K

Last time on SR03: You joined a gym to increase your confidence and things progressed the way you want with your tinder match. You ended up in an unlikely competition with your friends when you went new bar together, leading to some unexpected conversations and shenanigans.

CW & Other Tags: Drinking, anxiety/panic attack mentions, muscle tearing injury mention, fuckboy Jungkook, pining, flirting, pick-up lines, sexual tension, Joonie is still Y/N’s best boi, soft Jungkook

Series: Activate your SIMCard

Fic: Swipe Right (4/?- Ongoing)

Do not repost.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

When’s the last time you felt as good as you do right now? Jungkook has pretty much stopped bothering you since that night at Seesaw, your date with Jason went well, and you’ve been sticking to your early morning workouts. You definitely don’t push yourself as much as trainer Hwasa, and you know you should really take advantage of the free trial, but it was overwhelming to take in so much at once and the session made you sore all over for days.

At least your stamina seems to be improving and you’ve discovered post-workout endorphins are real. Tonight is your second date with Jason, a date you’ve uncharacteristically elected to host at your apartment. You can place some blame on those endorphins for your boldness, with pining and disappointment composing the rest of it.

While your first date ended without a kiss, there was enough flirting to keep you hopeful. Neither of you were brave enough to do anything about it then, but you’ve mentally coached yourself into pretending like you have an unbreakable spine with nerves of steel. Meeting him only solidified your attraction, and you’ve resolved to take the lead, even though you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing.

It’s not like you often make the first move, but your confidence in him to do so has waned. You’ve been talking and playing games together online for months without any physical touch. Despite how he’s said he likes you and wants to see you again, you’d still be waiting if you didn’t suggest today.

You’re determined to show him what he’s missing by being a recluse. That’s why you’ve picked out the sluttiest clothes and the strappiest heels you own, decorated your face with expensive makeup, and even styled your hair instead of just letting it do whatever it wants for the day. You check yourself out in the full-length mirror on your bedroom door for the millionth time and pull down on the hem of your dress like it will somehow magically grow longer.

You don’t need the heels; no part of the night calls for them. You’re going to be sitting on the couch with him. If you’re lucky you’ll even move it to the bedroom you spent so much time cleaning. But they’re cute and they make you feel sexy, so you’re going to keep them on until he’s peeling you out of your dress.

Nerves bubble in your stomach, but you have to pretend like they’re not there or you’ll fixate on how hard you’re trying to be confident and cool. You’ll fall apart when it’s obvious to Jason how hard you’re pretending to be everything you aren’t. Checking your phone doesn’t help; it’s almost time.

Taking a deep breath, you pace through the confines of your apartment as you wait, and answer group texts from Jennie and Namjoon. You offer up a selfie, hoping any compliments will build your confidence enough to stave off the anxiety in your gut. A few devil emojis later, some keysmashing, and more than a couple hamfisted compliments from Namjoon, your ego is adequately inflated but you can always use more hyping. Maybe you should send it to Jimin to fish for more compliments? He’d indulge you for sure.

Instead you flop on the couch and open Tinder. According to Jennie, Jason is stringing you along; it’s been months, but you hate to admit that she has a point. So you don’t. She’s been telling you for a while now that she thinks you should pursue other suitors. While you object to her assumptions, she has more experience with this kind of stuff. It’s not exactly something you want to believe, not when you’ve put in so much effort for literal months.

You want to believe in Jason being awkward and dorky and that’s why it’s taken so long for the two of you to hook up. He’s shy and super introverted, but so are you. So why are you the only one trying to make things happen? You want to believe, but at this point you’re uncertain enough to heed Jennie’s advice and keep swiping any time you find yourself in a situation where you’re waiting on him. Like now.

You have your reservations about swiping while you wait for your date to begin, but you can practically hear Jennie cheering you on. He’s late anyway, and it will keep you busy until he arrives. You open the discovery tab and swipe left on a couple incomplete profiles. Most of the guys on here don’t put in any effort. How are you supposed to want to give any of them a chance when you don’t even get a tiny snapshot of who they are?

When you pass on yet another fish pic profile, a blue frame appears around the next guy in line. It takes a moment for your brain to register the name along with the duck-faced photo as someone familiar.

[Jungkook said: Your legs remind me of oreos 🥴 wanna know why?]

How fucking dare he? You match with the intent to ream him out and leave.

You: I told you not to fucking find me on here

It takes only a few seconds before you see the dots move on his end, like he was waiting for the moment you would answer, and it keeps you tethered to the conversation.

Jungkook: Princess!! I couldn’t help myself how are you

Jungkook: Surprised you didn’t block me

You: Don’t worry I’m gonna

Jungkook: it’s bc you wanna know huh

You: ???

Jungkook: Your legs

Jungkook: Like oreos

Jungkook: I wanna split them n lick the cream from the center 😜

Electricity rumbles in your gut, carrying heat and a surge of excitement to your cunt that threatens to flood your panties. You swallow hard and squeeze your thighs together as you stare at the screen. Embarrassed by the response his antics elicit, you scramble to formulate a coherent thought.

You: I wish I could unread 🤢

Jungkook: Aw but that’s one of my favorites

Jungkook: Just like you 😘

You: 🙄

You: I hate you so much

Jungkook: So much that you matched with me?

You stare at the message like a clever response will come to you and when it doesn’t you bite your lip. He’s got a point. Haven’t you learned your lesson not to encourage him? Your eyes scan the top of your phone for any notifications from Jason. Nothing. At least this is keeping you distracted. That’s what you tell yourself.

Jungkook: You’re still here which means 👀

You: It means I’m tired

Jungkook: Of?

You pause for a moment. Namjoon and Jennie can’t know how anxious you are about Jason. It’s the guy’s last strike with them and he hasn’t even met them yet. Jungkook, an impartial third party, might be able to lend an ear. As much as you don’t care what he thinks, you need an outlet for the anxiety in your chest. You start to draft a word-vomit. Jason has been so hesitant to see you in person again and now he’s late. Maybe if you just put it out there to someone you’ll feel better.

Jungkook: If you need to sleep how about a massage?

Jungkook: I’m good with my fingers 🥴

Stupid. In what universe could you confide in Jungkook? Deleting your word-vomit before you can send it, you start to type something else, but your thumb accidentally taps enter at the exact wrong moment.

You: You know what? I want you

FUCK. Goddamn you, sausage fingers.

You scramble to rewrite the sentence but Jungkook is quicker. He has to know it was an accident, but you’re still fucking mortified.

Jungkook: 😈

Jungkook: My place

Jungkook: Ten minutes

You: *to stay off my profile

Jungkook: 👉👌?

You: YOU KNOW I DIDN’T MEAN THAT

You: 🤢🤢🤢

Jungkook: 😩

Jungkook: Now you’re just playing games with me princess

Jungkook: Can’t say I mind just fuck me up 🥴

You: Don’t you have a princess to fuck in another castle? Maybe she can stroke your tiny ego

Jungkook: Ouch felt that from here

He goes quiet and you close the conversation out. Setting the phone down on the cushion beside you lasts all of two seconds. When your phone buzzes twice, you know better than to answer, yet you feel compelled to look.

Jungkook: Hey quick question

Jungkook: Is this the most you’ve used the app to talk with someone you like? 👻

Just like that you unmatch with him and take a moment to seethe. Distraction or no, he’s not worth the mental energy. He always seems to draw you in like a pretty little thirst trap and drain you of your sanity. Not engaging is the safest option so why do you always end up doing so? Maybe it’s that shitty little part of you that gets excited any time he shows you attention.

There’s a gullible girl within you; she sets your pulse on fire when he feigns even the slightest interest, fills your head with wind when he brushes against you, and floods your eyes with tears when he walks away. Still, she wants him to look at you, even if it means he’s really looking through you. You hate her. Why can’t she learn that you deserve better?

You check the time again and wince. Jason is really late now. Not even a text. Or a phone call. Maybe it’s traffic?

Try to relax. Nothing bad is going to happen. You’re going to have fun tonight.

You start up a game to take your mind off the options available to explain his absence. When you’re invested in a game you often lose track of time, but tonight you’re hyper-aware of every minute that passes. You bite at your freshly painted nails during loading screens, chipping the red from their edges. Sounding casual is difficult when you’re worried, but you attempt it anyway via text. It’s ten more agonizing minutes of waiting before your phone buzzes with an answer.

The controller drops to your lap and immediately tears begin to sprinkle your thighs with the manifestation of your heartache.

He forgot.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

An earthy scent fills Namjoon’s apartment as he carefully transfers the last of his plants to a bigger pot, filling in the edges of its roots with fresh soil and patting the edges down with care. His plants have needed this, maybe even more than he needs the mini hangout that will soon follow. The kitchen table is covered in dirt, but at least he’s almost done.

It’s not his fault Jungkook showed up earlier than expected. At least he’s quiet now. It’s been a while, but he’s finally stopped asking about how much longer it will take, so he must either be invested in the show he put on or asleep on the couch.

“Almost done,” Namjoon loudly announces. “Can you text Tae?”

“Kay.” Jungkook yawns as he stands and heads towards the bathroom. “Jin was already cooking when I left so it should be ready soon.”

“Good. I’m hungry,” Namjoon says, carefully transporting the plant to the desk in his bedroom.

As he’s on his way to clean up the mess on the table there’s a soft rapid knock at the front door. The moment he opens it and finds you standing before him, he knows something is wrong. Even the ratty hoodie covering your shoulders can’t hide the effort you’ve obviously put into your appearance tonight. While your makeup seems to have fared rather well, your eyes are red and your cheeks are puffy. His mind automatically assumes the worst about your second date and his jaw tightens.

“What happened? Did he hurt you?”

“He never showed.” You throw your arms around him and openly sob.

“Oh, Y/N…” His arms are around you in an instant, hugging you close while keeping his dirty fingers at bay.

You press your cheek against his chest, letting the tears fall freely. “I’m sorry. I know you probably have plans tonight, but I wanted to stop here—” You choke out a loud sob and wipe your nose with your sleeve as you look down at the floor. “I didn’t want to drive upset but you weren’t answering and I just—”

“Shit. Exam today. I left it on silent.” He pats his pocket to make sure it’s still there, wiping as much dirt as he can on his jeans before placing his hands on your shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. Deep breaths.”

Jungkook emerges from the bathroom quietly with a furrowed brow and pursed lips. Did he hear your voice or is it his imagination? Unsure if you’re some wishful remnant of earlier texts, he peeks around the corner.

Heels: black, strappy heels with a velvety smooth red undersole. Has he ever seen you in heels? If he has, it’s never been something as flashy as these. His gaze travels up the smooth, exposed skin of your legs until it hits the hem of a skirt. The dark fabric seems a little short; it clings to your thighs, riding up as you embrace his friend. It’s hard not to notice how well it accents the curve of your hips and more importantly: your ass. He’s definitely never seen you in something so revealing, not even on nights where you’ve joined them for dancing.

He pauses for a fraction of a second, eyes trained on the swell of your ass before moving up to find the disappointing sight of your favorite hoodie barring much else from view. Namjoon’s arms outline your shape, but the places his hands rest are far too respectable to glean much else other than simple blueprints.

With his dick leading his steps, Jungkook opens his mouth to announce his presence with a joke. He means to selfishly steal a glimpse of your entire ensemble with some snarky comment but you choke out a sob and his stomach lurches to form a whirlpool of apprehension. His mouth remains open, but his words are swallowed back into the dark swirling pit that now wrenches his gut in circles.

Namjoon looks up just in time to read the confusion and shock on his features. He shakes his head and cups yours against his chest, wordlessly signaling Jungkook to keep quiet.

“Is there anything I can do? Do you wanna talk about it?” Namjoon asks, hoping you don’t see the man behind you slowly backing away like he’s just approached a rabid animal.

You’re sobbing. Why are you sobbing? What happened? Was it what he said before you unmatched? Jungkook tiptoes back into the kitchen without a word. He leans against the counter and shoves his hands in his coat pockets, trying to piece everything together. Did he cause this?

You screw your eyes shut to try to keep the tears inside. It’s no use. They always seem to find a way out. “He didn’t show up and when I texted him, he… he said he forgot."

“What?"

“I thought it would be good after the arcade date, you know? Like, good chemistry. He’s weird. I like him! He seemed interested and we made these plans and he just—” you choke out another loud sob. “God. Am I really so fucking forgettable?”

You wanted your friends to be wrong so badly that you ignored the fact that it’s been like pulling teeth trying to get Jason to meet up again. For him to forget completely is like a kick to the face that leaves all the teeth intact, maybe a little bloody, but stubbornly intact.

“Y/N, no. It’s not your fault. You deserve better than this fucking guy.”

Jungkook swallows hard. This definitely doesn’t feel like a conversation he should be hearing, but it’s loud enough to carry through the entire apartment. Kitchen, bedroom, or bathroom: his options are limited, but he knows there’s nowhere to go to pretend like he can’t hear it. It’s not like he can just walk out the front door now.

“Do I? It’s seems like a fucking pattern, Joon. I fall for people so easily and they always make me feel like an idiot for trying. Donghyun. Seojun. Jason. Jungkook… It doesn’t matter. No one fucking wants me.”

Jungkook tenses. He may not know all the names on your list, but his is among them all the same. Has he really hurt you so much?

“Hey… Don’t think like that,” Namjoon says, his voice soft as he rubs your back. “You know your worth, and it’s not measured by how well someone else can see it.”

Every time you think you’re done crying, fresh tears begin to roll down your cheeks. “I’m tired, Joonie.”

“I know. I’m sorry. We'll get you home."

As you step back to look at him your ankle rolls, and you begin to fall. Hearing the scuffle, Jungkook winces and peeks around the corner. Namjoon has a good enough grip to stop you from fully tumbling to the floor, but you’re definitely not stable by any means.

Although you now face Jungkook, you’re too distracted by your ankle to notice the extra pair of eyes on you. He allows himself to stupidly linger within your line of sight, raking his gaze across your form to take in the details of your attire, right down to your choice of earrings. Even with a red nose and puffy, smudged eyes, the time you’ve spent on your appearance remains evident.

You did all that for some guy who didn’t even show? If that’s how you dress for your dates then his innocent perception of you is completely wrong. What kind of moron would pass up the opportunity to peel you out of that dress and dive into your cunt? You look incredible. What the fuck.

"God. Shit. Fuck! Fucking stupid heels!” You huff out your exasperation and let a small pitiful laugh pass your lips as you right your stance with Namjoon’s help. “You know, I spent hours getting ready and now I just look stupid. I feel stupid.”

“You don’t. You’re not,” Namjoon insists, his palm squeezing your shoulder.

“Namjoon, I shaved my entire body. Do you know how long that took?”

Jungkook forces himself to withdraw into the kitchen. If you see him now you might murder him. He purses his lips into a thin line and tightens his grip around his arms. In an instant he imagines hiking your dress above your hips and parting your legs so he might brush his cheek against the smooth expanse of your thigh all the way to your core. Are your panties as slutty as your dress? Are they cute? Lacy? Plain?

“Geeksquad…” Namjoon sighs loudly. “I really don’t need to know— Hold up. Wasn’t this the second date?”

“Are you slutshaming me?” The tired laugh that follows sounds more like you, but it still hurts his heart. “I’m stepping up my game.”

“Nah. You do you,” he says, a soft smile on his lips that’s obviously full of pity. “You want to stay and get some food? I think I have some sweats you can change into.”

Tires screech in Jungkook’s mind. Is he going to be trapped here for the night? Without dinner? What kind of karmic torture is the universe putting him through?

“No, I’m sorry,” you sniffle, wiping your face with the sleeves of your sweater. “Jennie wants me to come over but I—I didn’t think I could make it with having a full meltdown. You were on the way.”

“No need to apologize.” He pulls you into another tight hug. “Do you want me to walk you back to your car?”

“No, no it’s fine. I’m right in front. Thanks, Joonie.” Your phone begins to buzz in your hoodie pocket. You pull back and wave it at him, already on your way to the door. “It’s like she knew. I’ll talk to her on the way. Thank you for listening to me cry for the millionth time.”

“Always. Text me when you get there, okay?”

“Will do, mom,” you tease with a soft laugh.

“Zip up your hoodie.”

You grimace at him with narrowed eyes but heed his advice on your way out. You also pull your skirt down as far down your thighs as it will reach. Men are gross and you trust virtually none of them.

Jungkook waits until he hears the click of the lock on the door to breathe a loud sigh of relief. Namjoon rubs the back of his neck and stares at the door. He worries about you.

“Yikes. That Jason guy is a dick huh?”

Namjoon swivels on his heels and rounds on his friend. “Like you were so much better to her?”

Jungkook casts his gaze to the floor. “I didn’t stand her up.”

Even he knows that argument is flimsy.

“Guk.”

“It was always just a joke.”

“It’s not though. She really liked you, man. I asked you not to mess with her.”

Memories have warped Jungkook into a jaded man: untrusting although not uncaring. Guilt is the only thing churning in his stomach as he thinks of you. He never expected to genuinely hurt you. Somehow things twisted into a gnarled mess that never really felt like more than a playful game of tug-of-war. But these kinds of games only work when the people involved know that they’re playing. It’s shitty when one pulls another into the mud when they’ve never agreed to participate.

Faced with the reality of how you consider him now, it dawns on him that he’s dragged you into the mud face-first without even the slightest resistance. You’ve stood up and you’ve even yanked the rope in retaliation, but you never should’ve been in the mud in the first place. Regardless of his own emotional ineptitude, he knows you never deserved that humiliation. No one does. The weight of his actions sits heavy in his gut.

Still he tries to justify himself. “All I do now is make pass after pass and she’s the one who turns me down.”

“You said it earlier yourself,” Namjoon sneers, irritated by his friend’s immaturity. “It’s always a joke. You’re never serious and she knows it. Look, you don’t have to like her back. She’s my friend and so are you. Just don’t lead her on and stop with the mind games. Be honest with her. The least you can do is apologize for being a dick.”

“That’s— I feel like… I don’t know how.”

Jungkook can’t bring himself to tell him of your conversation earlier tonight. It just adds to the guilt piling on his conscience. Namjoon used his own words against him and the worst part is it makes sense. It’s so much easier when it’s a stranger at a bar or a random encounter at a club, but you’re neither of those things. He lumped you into that category all the same.

Namjoon clicks his tongue and puts an arm around Jungkook’s back. “Starting with ‘I’m sorry’ can go a long way. She’s a good person and I know you guys can get along. Things were going well until you made that bet, right?”

Jungkook opens his mouth to speak and then closes it. “Mmm.”

“Not every girl is a Jiseo, Jungkook.”

“Yeah.”

“I think…” Namjoon sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t know. Can you try to just... tone it down? Maybe try to patch things up?”

“Okay.” Jungkook’s brow furrows and he chews his lip as he mulls over Namjoon’s words. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out his keys. “You ready?”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Your head dips forward as your fingers glide across the keys. It's hard to concentrate on your task when you're this distracted by your own thoughts. You stare at the monitor with furrowed brows. Namjoon grabs the back of your chair and leans forward to tower over you.

"Went that well, huh? Did he blow the second chance he didn’t deserve?"

The motion jerks you backwards and you grip the armrests of the chair to steady yourself. Despite your best attempt to curb the irritation in your expression, your frustration remains apparent. You sit back and tilt your head up to look at him, trying to think of something to say, some excuse to not reinforce the "told you so" waiting in your future, not after you showed up at his apartment sounding like a dying whale a few days before. When no ideas come to your immediate aid, you click your tongue and let out a heavy sigh as you turn your attention back to the screen.

"Geeksquad," he presses. "Talk to me."

You exhale through your nose and briefly purse your lips before obliging his plea. The words are quick and quiet so you don't run the risk of bawling your eyes out again. "He canceled.”

Namjoon steps back and the pressure on your seat is gone. He places a large palm on your shoulder. "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

Despite wanting to give the opposite answer, you shake your head. You don't trust yourself to speak, but you'd like to tell him. He's clever and you know he'll likely find a way to get it out of you with minimal effort anyway. Still, you don’t think you can manage the words without crying like a baby and you don’t want to do that when the morning has only just begun. Silence falls between the two of you as he gives you time to decide if you want to open up.

After a moment of tapping away you finally give in. You know you’ll feel better after you cry.

"He said he had to stay behind and help do clean-up for the party he was at. And that’s nice and all, but we had plans. I feel crazy. I should be glad that he’s so kind, right? Like that shows he’s a good person, right?” Your voice has cracked but it hasn’t quite broken.

He sighs and flops in the chair on the other side of his desk. “Y/N… I think you’re asking me for answers you already know.”

“But tell me anyway,” you press, tears welling in your eyes. “Our first date went so well. So why-y-” Your voice breaks.

“Hey.” He reaches across the desk and brushes his fingers against your arm. “I know you want me to help you make excuses for him... But you deserve someone who values your time. Clearly he’s just looking to waste it.”

“But—”

“Y/N, you don’t need someone like that. If this is what he’s like before you’re even together, then what kind of effort is he really going to put into a potential relationship? Not enough. There are so many people out there, people that would trip over themselves just to have the chance to be with you. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I think it’s a mistake that you even gave him another shot. He blew it. Twice. Delete his number. Forget him.”

“I know,” you croak. Tears fall from your eyes and you quickly swipe them away, focusing on the task at hand.

Namjoon is right and you know it, but you’re kind of irritated about it. You know it’s not really him you’re mad at, but Namjoon is a good enough placeholder while you try to sort through your hurt feelings.

You muster your most monotone voice as you stand. “I updated your drivers and deleted any cached files that might have been causing issues. Is that all?”

“Don’t be mad at me,” he pleads, rising to block your path as you step towards the door. “You have a big heart and I hate seeing it stepped on.”

In a matter of seconds you melt into his embrace and bury your face into his shirt. “I hate how fast I like people.”

“I know.” He pets the back of your head softly and squishes you against his chest. “It’s gonna be okay. How about udon later? My treat?”

“With beef?” you ask with a sniffle.

“With beef,” he agrees.

“Gyoza?”

“Mhm.”

“And takoyaki?”

“...You’re pushing it.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You slide the appetizer tray across the table towards Namjoon. “Here.”

He shovels a dumping into his mouth right before he speaks. “I could eat this every day for the rest of my life.”

“Could you afford it though?” you tease, taking a sip from the bottle of saké and crinkling your nose at it before passing it to him.

“Not if you’re joining me,” he snorts. “You’re supposed to pour it.”

“No, thanks.” You push the tiny glass full of liquid back towards him.

"Wow. Are you guys on a date?"

You know the source of the voice before you even crane your neck to see Jungkook.

"Pfft." Namjoon waves the question off with a deep laugh.

Despite finding the scenario of ever dating Namjoon absolutely absurd, you can’t help but feel a little insulted by the volume of his laughter. Namjoon’s hangout night was supposed to take your mind off of how unwanted Jason made you feel. Instead, the pit of insecurity within your stomach grows into a thick, tangled brush of hostility. Is being seen with you really so laughable?

“Why would we be?” you snap, turning your attention back to your bowl.

Heat settles in your face and you purse your lips, not daring to look at either of them. You try to wrangle some noodles to shovel in your mouth before you can say something stupid. Their eyes are on you. Jungkook is definitely confused but not alarmed by your hostility. It’s something he’s grown accustomed to. But Namjoon knows when he hurts your feelings, every time, and it’s easy enough to disarm your irritability.

“She’s way too good for a mess like me,” Namjoon says with a light laugh.

“Why are you here?” you ask, tone already softer than before.

"Post-work snackie," he answers, all too cheery for your sour mood. “Came for the noods. Mind if I join?”

He looks to the rosy-cheeked Namjoon for his answer, as you set your hoodie and purse down in the space beside you to give him yours. Namjoon betrays you by scooting over to make room on his side of the booth. You’d mentioned to him before that you’d eventually like to fix things with Jungkook, to somehow make steps for peace. But you only have so much mental energy left to give today.

“Not tonight, Jungkook,” you plead with a sigh.

The frustration in that puff of breath is enough to make Jungkook hesitate. He blinks a few times, wide-eyed. “What?”

“I just… can’t handle your bullshit tonight.”

Jungkook tries to break the uncomfortable tension with a grin. “No bullshit tonight. Promise.”

“No.” Your answer is firm and somehow so fragile that it makes both men worry their brows in the same fashion. “Please, just go away.”

He shoves his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and takes a few steps back. He doesn’t know what to make of your demeanor, but he can put enough together to know the basics. You’re upset, maybe not at him for once. However unlikely, that’d be a blessing. Maybe you’re still upset about that guy that stood you up a few days ago. If that’s the case, he probably shouldn’t stick around and risk letting on how much he knows about that.

He tongues the side of his cheek and nods, forcing a smile to his face. “Alright. I’ll just order it to go. Planned on that anyway. Catch you later.”

Guilt wracks your nerves as he walks away. The moment you look back at Namjoon, you’re faced with a wall of disappointment that threatens to topple the scale of decision-making in Jungkook’s favor.

“You’re judging me for that,” you mumble. The noodles between your chopsticks slip back into the broth.

“Little bit,” Namjoon admits, watching his friend sulk over to the entrance waitstaff. “You know he told me he’s trying to be nicer to you.”

“What? When?”

“The other day. We hung out.”

He keeps his answers short and ambiguous, hoping your curiosity has been piqued. Maybe this is the golden opportunity he’s been hoping for to patch your friendship.

“Was this before or after he harassed me on Tinder?”

Namjoon’s heart sinks into his butt. Of course Jungkook would make reconciliation harder than it needs to be. “When did he do that?”

“That night I showed up at your apartment like a big crybaby.”

“I went over his place for dinner after you left. Jin wanted to try a new recipe out on us.” That seems to at least make you pause.

“You guys talked about me?”

“Yup.” He goes back to chewing his food, knowing he’s got you hooked.

Your incredulous stare does nothing to pull information past his lips. “Joonie. What did you say about me? What did he say?”

“Mmm?” He slurps up a long noodle. “A lot of things. But they’re not really my words to tell.”

“No one likes clickbait, Joon.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that he told me that he wants to fix things. If you want specifics, maybe we can invite him to come eat with us. It might be easier for the both of you to talk about it over good food.”

You sigh, seriously considering his words even as you shake your head. “Joon, I’m already emotionally compromised. I really don’t want to cry in front of Jungkook tonight.”

“Why would you cry? This is a night for good things only. Namjoon-approved and protected. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to... I just thought it might be nice to make some good memories with good friends.”

You roll your eyes but hold your pinky out for him. “Fine. But this is Joonie-Y/N time. You’re cutting into that allotted time slot, you know that right?”

Namjoon rests his elbow on the table, preparing to pinky swear to whatever you’re about to suggest. “Conditions?”

“He sits next to you, he doesn’t make fun of me if I cry, and…. he doesn’t get to talk.”

“Y/N.”

“Fiiiiine. He can talk. But he better be as nice as you say he’s trying to be.”

“We allowed to talk about Jason?”

“If it comes up…” you sigh. “You know, if he’s mean to me and I cry then you have to deal with it.”

He clasps his long pinky around yours. “Deal. But with how all that just went down, you gotta go tell him to come back. He won’t believe me if I do it.”

“Don’t let him be mean to me,” you plead, tightening your grip on his pinky and locking eyes with him. “Good vibes only.”

“He won’t be mean. Good vibes only.” Namjoon nods with a soft smile. “He really is a good person where it counts, Y/N.”

You push your things aside and force yourself to find Jungkook. He’s leaning against a wall near the entrance, scrolling through his phone while he waits for his order. You quietly request to your waitress that you’d like his food brought to your table. She’s nice enough about it, but your stomach churns regardless. It’s the anxiety.

You gingerly poke a finger against his shoulder as you approach. “Um. Hey.”

He seems startled at first, but smiles when he realizes it’s you. “Hmm?”

You take a deep quiet inhale, trying your best not to get lost in the butterflies his charming smile conjures in your gut. You try to tell yourself it’s anxiety and nothing more. Apologies are hard and scary. That’s all.

“I’m… sorry for being rude. I’ve had a rough week but I shouldn’t take it out on you. Come eat with us, please. Namjoon’s buying anyway.”

His eyes seem to light up with surprise and a warm smile deepens the creases around his eyes and mouth. The hope that these feelings of attraction would evaporate with time is a flame swiftly snuffed out and replaced with a burning heartache that deems denial useless. Even now, pangs of infatuation lurk below your feelings of disdain, breaking the tension of its surface with each beat of your heart.

“It’s okay,” he reassures you. “I shouldn’t have invited myself when I saw you guys. I should really get home and shower anyway.”

He looks so clean that you’d assumed he’d already showered. It’s not like you can smell him from where you stand. Maybe he’s lying, but at least you get the sense it’s coming from a place of politeness.

“Jungkook, I want you to come eat with us. Besides Namjoon wants someone to drink saké with him and I cannot keep doing it.”

“I see.” He offers a small laugh and rubs the back of his neck. “Are you sure? You seemed pretty against it before. What changed?”

“Namjoon told me you’re trying to be less of an asshole to me.”

“Did he?” he licks his lips and tries to hide his pleased smile. “I’m surprised you believe him.”

“He also promised me I could punch you in the dick if you make me cry,” you lie, completely stone-faced.

If he knows that’s a falsified statement, he doesn’t say anything. He looks past your shoulder to quirk a brow at Namjoon, who appears to be furiously texting at the table. Jungkook’s phone buzzes a few times against his palm and he’s fairly sure he already knows who it is.

“Come on. I already asked them to bring your food to the table.”

He reads Namjoon’s messages as he trails behind you.

NAMJOON: If you seriously want to apologize stick around, make her laugh, just listen when you need to

JUNGKOOK: Don’t worry

JUNGKOOK: I got u

Before Namjoon can send a text saying that Jungkook's response has the opposite effect, you’re peeking across the table, trying to get a glance at the screen.

“Who’s that?” you wonder. Namjoon’s not usually one to be so secretive with his texts.

“Hmm?” he raises his eyebrows at you and pours you a shot. “Stupid. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ha. Haha. Ha.” You gesture at your face. “You say to the girl with anxiety.”

Crinkling your nose at the glass he offers, you slide it across to Jungkook as he settles in next to Namjoon. “Here. I’m done drinking that stuff tonight.”

He regards it with a quirked brow. Something about your demeanor really has changed, but looking between you and Namjoon does nothing to answer the question of what that may be.

“Okay, so on reddit this guy was reaching. He’s going on about the symbolism in the red scarf—”

Your eyes gloss over the moment he mentions reddit. Is there anything you care less about than Joon’s favorite modern literary discussion threads?

“Got it. Not worrying about it,” you interrupt, bringing your bowl to your lips to slurp some of the broth.

Jungkook hides his smirk by throwing his head back to drink his shot. Namjoon is a genius. It might be scary if he ever decided to use his intellect for nefarious purposes. Lucky for the universe he uses it to protect others, like a real superhero would.

As the three of you dine together, you’re surprised to find that Jungkook isn’t being as annoying as he usually is. In fact, it seems the more he drinks outside of any competitive setting, the more affable he becomes. Maybe there’s something to Namjoon’s clickbaity words. He’s almost the person you remember meeting before the Halloween Party, maybe even more pleasant.

You’re grateful when the two of them start telling embarrassing stories so you can listen and laugh at the way they slur their words and interrupt each other. Laughter makes your heart feel light and full, and brave enough to take the last step to prove to yourself you’re done chasing Jason. As the two men fight over the last piece of gyoza and distract themselves over dessert, you quietly decide to clear your text messages from Jason. Your finger hovers over the delete icon for a second before purging his contact information from your device entirely.

It’s freeing to not have to worry about what you should send him. It’s frustrating to have tried so hard for so long and have nothing to show for it, but at least there will be no conversation history to pick apart anymore. It should feel perfect. That will definitely show him, right? You don’t have to reflect for more than a couple seconds to reinforce the memory of how little he actually reached out on his own.

He still has your number. The only time he ever called was on your first date. He never texted you unless you spoke first. He probably won’t even notice you’re gone. He’s probably relieved he won’t have to answer you anymore. He probably thinks you’re desperate for trying for so long. You don’t realize how well you wear your anxiety.

When you look up Jungkook is watching you while he chews with his mouth wide open. “Hey, why do-” He hiccups and swallows. “Why do you look so sad? You should have some ice cream.”

He scans the table for something to offer you, but he can’t seem to find what he’s looking for in his drunken stupor. After a few seconds his eyes finally land on his own plate where the other half of his red-bean cake sits.

“Do you want my taiyaki?” He holds the tail end of the fish-shaped cake out to you. “It’s really good!”

You can’t help but laugh at the unexpected sweet absurdity of the night. “Jungkook, I don’t want your half-eaten cake.”

He frowns and looks at the pastry. “Is it because I bit it? I’ll break off that part for you if you don’t want your mouth to touch that.”

Although Jungkook definitely is more drunk than Namjoon right now, the older man can’t help but be amazed by how well this is going. He loads up on green tea ice cream and digs his spoon in it. He shouldn’t have been so worried. Jungkook can put away the act when he wants to, especially once alcohol is involved and there’s nothing to prove. You guys are actually getting along. What a relief.

“No, really it’s okay.” You laugh.

Jungkook is already breaking the pastry apart in his hand, watching as it crumbles to pieces on his plate. He blinks a couple times and closes his mouth in a frown.

“I thought that would work.” He sounds utterly defeated.

The waitress walks over just in time to watch Namjoon stick a heaping spoonful of wasabi in his mouth. You're too busy laughing at Jungkook's forlorn expression to notice the way Namjoon's eyes water. His eyes drop to the ice cream he thought he shoveled into his mouth. Right next to the pristine, untouched scoop of green tea ice cream, he finds his spoon resting in the hunk of wasabi adjacent to it. He should really pay attention more. He pushes against Jungkook's side and motions that he needs to get up. The younger man spares a glance his way but Namjoon waves him off while mumbling something about the bathroom.

The waitress tries to keep her composure and looks between the pair of you. "How is everything?"

"Great! Could you please bring us some water?" you ask in your sweetest voice, realizing the two men with you should at least try to start sobering up.

You expected to have Namjoon crashing on your couch on a Friday night, or at least be dropping him off down the hall at Hobi’s place. Jungkook was not part of the plan, but you can’t exactly let him drive home inebriated. You know he’s not your responsibility but you’d feel guilty making him call for a ride home when you’re perfectly capable.

Although you hate to admit it, you’ve had fun tonight. If you’re being honest with yourself you’d like to see what he’s like without Namjoon nearby to police his moves. He’s been nice enough, but you want to know for sure this isn’t an act. You want to ask him if he’s made another bet, or playing some game since he hasn’t hit on you all night. Before you can get your line of questions in order, Jungkook turns to the server with large, pleading eyes.

"Oh! Can you bring some more dessert, please?"

He may be a grown ass man capable of charming the pants off of women everywhere, but right now he is little more than a child begging for seconds. Regardless of everything he's done, your heart softens, endeared and embarrassed by his drunken request to your server.

The waitress nods. "Sure, what would you like?"

His eyes fall to you for an answer. "What do you like?"

You blink at him. "Me? I thought this was for you."

He nods. "Mm. We can split it."

"Um, how about... tempura?"

"Banana?"

Jungkook’s voice is full of anticipation and his upturned eyebrows seem to bargain for agreement. It’s so hard to believe this is the same man who has been so cold to you for so long when he seems so open and warm now. You remind yourself it’s probably the alcohol. It’s probably some secret promise to Namjoon. Some bet with Hobi. Some game he’s playing. It’s probably anything other than what your dumb crush-stupefied heart wants it to be.

The waitress looks to you for approval and you give a nod. "Sure. Banana tempura."

The waitress awkwardly smiles as she gathers the empty platters and gives you a chance to break away from his endearingly drunken face. He smiles across the table at you and wrings his hands while you pick up your phone to check on those nonexistent messages. Maybe if you distract yourself enough you can ignore the feelings that are catching up to you tonight.

“Thank you for inviting me back over,” he says, reaching to the nearly empty bottle of saké to pour himself another shot. “I’ve... been wanting to talk to you."

"I’m surprised you didn’t blow up my phone.” It’s supposed to be a joke, but there’s a harshness in your tone that exposes a venomous bite beneath it.

He downs the shot and plants his elbows on the table, leaning forward on them. "I wanted to say it to your face."

“Oh, really?”

You don’t allow yourself to entertain the idea that he’s about to say anything groundbreaking, but you look away from your phone to meet those dark, twinkling eyes. Suddenly there’s hope in your gut. You’re desperate to put some distance between the feelings jumping to the surface.

“I’ve been a dick.”

“No shit.”

Though the fog of alcohol consumes his apology, his eyes focus on you with clarity. “I’m sorry.”

How long have you waited to hear those words? You never really thought about what you might say in response. His apology sits in the air between you for a moment before he speaks again.

“I’m really sorry. Namjoon is right. I am trying to be less of an asshole to you. We don’t…” he catches himself, “I don’t have a lot of close friends who are women.”

“You don’t say.”

That seems to cut through the fog. He hangs his head and focuses his gaze on the table.

“I never wanted to hurt your feelings.”

“Well, you did,” you mumble.

“I know... I’m sorry.” It’s like now that he’s said it once, he can’t stop saying it. He’s not sure how to make you understand. Maybe you do understand and you just won’t forgive him. Can he really blame you for that?

“Why?” you question; it’s the last barrier protecting your heart, the only thing keeping you from caving. “Why do you care now?”

Jungkook’s head lolls to one side as he sits back against his seat and stares at the nearly empty bottle of saké. “I don’t know. I guess I was thinking… I wish I had a save to reload. Before I messed up.”

It seems that’s the best you’re going to get out of him right now. The waitress sets down a beautiful platter of banana tempura meticulously arranged around a simple mound of ice cream, topped with a single cherry and drizzled with decorative chocolate. She places three waters on the table and you both take a moment to politely force smiles and pause your conversation.

He licks his lips and stares down at the plate and then back up at you. “Can we start over?”

“Depends. Are you gonna go back to being a dick when you’re not drunk anymore?”

“No, no. I mean it. I wanna try to be friends.”

“For real?” You swipe the cherry, pop it in your mouth and tilt your head to regard him. You can’t let yourself fully believe him. You want to. The earnestness in his drunken features charms you, but you hold onto a shred of disbelief as a crutch. You’ll wait for the moment he reverts. Hopefully this time you’ll be prepared for the whiplash that comes along with it.

“For real.”

You reflect on his apology as the pair of you dig into the dessert. “Maybe. Prove it.”

He perks up. He’ll take a maybe. Maybe means the damage he’s done might not be irreparable. The guilt weighing on his conscience feels lighter. It’s a start.

“I will. I’ll find some way to make it up to you.”

You roll your eyes, unwilling to put stock in his words. “Is this another bet with Hobi? About how quickly you can make me forgive you?”

Jungkook shakes his head furiously, wisps of wild black hair whipping his cheeks. “No, I mean it. I promise.”

You drag your lip through your teeth as you teeter on the line of acceptance. “What is a promise from a liar worth?”

He drops the flat of his palm to the table and he pouts. “Hey. I mean it…. Hm. If I break my promise…” His eyes scan the table for anything he can use to change your mind. He looks at his arm pressed against the table and then back at you. “You can choose my next tattoo.”

Your eyebrows rise into your hairline. “Really.”

He eagerly nods. “I’ll get whatever you want wherever you want. Just. Not my face.”

“I want that in writing,” you snort.

Jungkook glances around the table and pulls a napkin from under the plate of tempura. “Do you have a pen?”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to—”

“I’m serious.” He’s not taking no for an answer.

You shake your head and rummage through your purse to supply him with a pen. He smooths out the napkin he’s chosen to use as a conduit for his promise. When he’s finished writing he slides it towards you.

Princess

I’m sorry. I can make it right.

I promise. Please give me another chance.

If I blow it you can choose what & where my next tattoo goes.

As long as it’s not my face. Let’s be friends? #promise.com ♡ Jungkook

Of course he signed it with a heart. Despite his inebriation, his handwriting is still neat. Well, that’s one hell of a promise.

“Okay.” You fold the note and drop it into your purse. “We can try.”

His face lights up as he stuffs a piece of tempura into his mouth, happily chomping with his mouth wide open. He reaches for the saké but you slide a water in front of him instead.

“Friends don’t let friends get totally shitfaced at Hajime.”

He frowns at you but seems to accept your answer with a pout.

“Speaking of which… Where is Namjoon?” You crane your neck to look around the restaurant.

“Friday noodle nights common for you guys?” Jungkook asks, digging into the dessert between massive gulps of water.

“No, not really. We’re usually watching movies at my place or hanging with Hobi. But Namjoon wanted to take me out because I was sad,” you say, finally catching sight of your friend on the other side of the bar.

Jungkook’s chewing slows and he regards you with furrowed brows. “Sad?”

Before you can decide how you want to answer, Namjoon is scooting into the booth next to Jungkook and reaching for a piece of tempura. “Mmmm. What did I miss?”

“Y/N was telling me why she’s sad.”

Namjoon nods like he understands exactly what you’ve been talking about. “He’s a dick, right? Like how do you even stand someone up, not once, but twice? Makes no sense.”

“Joonie—”

“And I know what you’re gonna say, but I disagree. It has nothing to do with you or how you look, Y/N. You don’t need to workout like a maniac to try to change anything. Especially not for someone like Jason. I can’t even imagine—”

“Joon.” You click your tongue and slide a glass of water in front of him. “Please, shut the fuck up.”

As you glare at him, he looks at you with raised brows and wide eyes. Unsure what to do now that he’s obviously fubared the conversation, he casts his guilty gaze to his cup and brings it to his lips.

Jungkook stares at you with furrowed brows, trying to wait to let you fill in the blanks even though he’s itching to ask about everything. He picks another piece of tempura and stuffs it into his mouth, but when you remain silent the impulse to pry takes over. “Jason?”

“He stood me up…” you start, but you close your mouth when you realize you’re going to try to defend him. Your throat feels full, like you can’t get enough air through with a giant knot in it like this. You have to whisper so your voice doesn’t crack. “Twice.”

The couple drinking at the table nearby becomes a much more interesting place to rest your eyes than the two men across from you. Tightening your jaw doesn’t prevent the gloss from coating your eyes. Thinking about it makes you feel so stupid and desperate. Bending over backwards a thousand different ways to accommodate him couldn’t convince him to put in even a minimal amount of effort one time.

Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up in genuine surprise. “Twice?”

The hurt you feel in your chest scorches your cheeks until anger is filling your head like a teakettle ready to release an unhealthy amount of steam right in Jungkook’s face.

“That’s what I get for giving people second chances,” you snap as you focus back on him.

Joon says your name like it’s a warning but you don’t need it. You feel guilty enough for projecting your anger onto Jungkook with a petty one-liner.

“Sorry. It’s not your fault. I just…” Your throat closes around the rest of the words.

Before an uncomfortable silence can settle over the table, Namjoon inches the bottle of saké with his fingertips until it’s in front of him. “Dating is tricky. Jason sucks. It sucks that he hurt you. But you don’t have to twist yourself into whatever you think he wants anymore. And that…” He pours the pitiful remainder of alcohol into a shot glass and slides it towards you.“...is worth celebrating.”

Jungkook silently nods his head in agreement. It’s obvious you’re on the verge of tears and he doesn’t want to be the thing that pushes you over the edge.

A soft smile curls the corners of your mouth. “That’s true, but…” you slide the glass back towards him and steal the last of the banana tempura. “I can celebrate back at my apartment. Finish your water so you’ll be awake enough to join me. Both of you.”

Jungkook perks up and happily reaches for his water while Namjoon gives you a proud, yet confused look. It seems like a new start to something. What that is remains to be seen.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook watches intently as the colors of the city shine through the windows. He runs his fingers over the soft blanket you keep in the backseat, mouthing the words to the song softly playing from your dashboard. Namjoon has been talking nonstop from the passenger seat, which is fine with Jungkook since he’s feeling a little tired. The last session of the day was a bit more intense than intended, but the client left happy and covered in sweat. A success. But Jungkook is sore and exhausted. Physically and socially.

A sense of relief floods him at the memory of his conversation with you. Things may actually be okay from here. Who would have thought crashing your noodle night with Namjoon could have yielded such results?

His head bobs to the music as his eyes wander across the scenery outside until he grows bored and they drift to the interior of your car. A graduation tassel swings from your rearview mirror as you turn. He follows the movement of the tassel when it swings towards you and his eyes land on your face, or at least what he can see of it from this angle.

You look focused and calm while conversing with Namjoon but your posture is a bit rigid and your hands remain planted on the steering wheel in complete control. There’s something about this candid snapshot of your persona that puts him at ease. Your voice is a soft contrast to Namjoon’s, but equally enthusiastic.

He tilts his head as he leans back in his seat, pulling the blanket over his lap and twisting the fabric around his palm. Your eyes flicker in the rearview mirror, catching his. He gives a tiny wave and rests his head against the cushion, fighting the temptation to close his eyelids for longer than a second. The more he listens to you laugh, the more he finds himself smiling. It’s goofy.

It’s also kind of cute.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook is surprised when Yoongi answers your knock; he thought he would be asleep. He’s even more surprised when you make yourself at home on his couch and guilt him with a puppy dog pout to make you a drink, and he complies. When Jungkook asks the same, Yoongi tells him there’s beer in the fridge while measuring out the ingredients for your cocktail. The suspicious sour ache of jealousy stabs his gut as he moseys to the fridge but he quickly shakes it off, settling on the floor in front of the tv with a beer in hand.

After a couple hours of drinking, laughing, and playing Jackbox games with the three men, you’re feeling much better about everything. Life is good. Friends are good. Alcohol is very good.

It doesn’t take much to get you drunk. You’re about as much of a lightweight as Hobi and for better or worse everyone has come to know that fact. What’s nice about drinking in Yoongi’s apartment is that you don’t have to walk very far to get home. Things don’t get awkward with the three of them together; it’s actually kind of nice, like a mini Saturday night pregame.

Soon Namjoon and Yoongi are snoring on the couch with a movie playing in the background while you stand in the kitchen with Jungkook. He pours another drink for himself, though he knows it will mostly likely remain unfinished. Tomorrow may bring a massive hangover, but tonight has been surprisingly pleasant. He feels like he’s finally on okay footing with you, maybe even on the road to serious repair. Amazing how well you get along when inhibitions are replaced by inebriation. If that’s what it takes, he’s determined to keep it up.

As he turns his back to place the liquor bottle in the cabinet by the fridge, you swipe a sip of the drink he’s concocted. He spins around in time to see you wrinkle your nose and stick your tongue out.

“Hey, that’s mine!” he pouts.

“Blegh. You can have it. Yuck!” Your face screws up again at the aftertaste.

He drunkenly giggles as he slides the drink closer to him. “What, don’t like sour?”

“Too sour!” You reach for the water bottle Yoongi gave you hours ago and attempt to rinse the puckering sensation from your mouth.

Amused, he tilts his head and watches you take gulp after gulp. He purses his lips and holds back the comment itching to escape, deciding to enjoy a sip of his drink instead. You shimmy out of your hoodie and tie it around your waist and his eyes lazily follow the motion of your arms, noting a slight difference in their musculature. Some errant thought about their shape leads him back to an earlier unaddressed comment that he’s finally comfortable enough to prod you about.

“What kind of workouts are you doing?” he blurts.

Suddenly you feel very exposed. You straighten in your seat and suck in your gut, hyper aware of every imperfection of your body on display to someone so in shape. You immediately begin to fidget with the sleeves of the hoodie you just tied around your waist.

“You don’t have to tell me. I just—” he pauses, exhaling a small breath and looking down at his drink as though he’s wary of continuing the thought.

“No, no it’s fine,” you assure him, too curious to say otherwise. “What is it?”

“When Namjoon said…” he sighs and takes a sip, smacking his lips and licking them before looking back to you. “I thought maybe I can prove myself to you by helping you come up with a plan.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You plant an elbow on the counter and lean on it.

“I want to,” he insists, reaching out for your arm.

His hand is like fire engulfing your skin and your eyelids flutter at the sensation. Instinctively you place a hand over his and rub your thumb anxiously over it. He looks down to where your thumb grazes his knuckles and then back up to your face with a surprised smile.

“Um… Everything,” you say, trying to sound as vague and nonchalant as possible so he doesn’t judge you for your lack of knowledge.

“Like, full body?”

“Uh...” You’ve managed to make a habit of going to his gym a few days a week while successfully avoiding him, but it seems that time is coming to an end. “I… machine.”

“Oh. Like at a gym? Did you join one?” He seems genuinely curious.

“Um, yeah.” Suddenly you pull your hand back when you realize the speed at which your thumb is moving.

“Which one?”

The more you say, the more suspicious you seem, but is saying less any better? Jungkook rests his elbow on the counter and simply looks at you but you don’t look back. A slow smile spreads his lips as the possibility dawns on him.

“Princess… Did you join Iron Kingdom?”

You puff your cheeks and force the air through the tiny opening of your mouth. You don’t offer any sort of confirmation and continue to avoid his gaze.

“And you didn’t tell me?” he playfully prods, drumming his fingers against your forearm.

“I… Yeah,” you admit, your voice small as you stare at the counter. “I didn’t want you to know.

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because?”

“I don’t want to give you another thing to make fun of me for.”

“I’m not gonna make fun of you.” When you don’t respond he tugs on your arm. The motion is enough to angle you towards him. “Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.”

“What?” you grumble, staring at your lap even as you face him.

He takes your hands in his and drunkenly waves them around. “Heeeeeeeey. Look at me.”

He pouts until you reluctantly drag your eyes to meet his. “What?”

“Everyone starts somewhere,” he says softly. “Even me.”

The shift in his demeanor catches you off guard and you subconsciously lean forward as you relax. “Well I started with Hwasa, but I was too sore to ask for another session with her.”

He nods sympathetically, clapping his hand over yours. “You should try again.”

You shake your head. “I don’t know. I feel like…”

“Like?” he prods when you let the silence trail for a bit too long.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” you sigh. “I feel like I don’t belong there. I look so stupid reading the instructions on the machines. I don’t even think I’m doing it right.”

“What?” He makes a sound between a laugh and a grunt. “There’s nothing wrong with making sure you don’t hurt yourself. Nobody knows how to instantly do things. If they tell you they do, they’re lying.”

“Or they’re Namjoon,” you say with a roll of your eyes, glancing over at your snoring friend.

He smiles and clicks his tongue against his teeth in thought. “I didn’t know what I was doing when I started.”

“Really.”

You’re skeptical. It’s always seemed like he was born in a gym. Or maybe hatched. He’s kind of inhumanly gorgeous. Maybe he sprouted from a flower like a mythical god.

“For real. First time doing squats. I think it was gym class? Yeah, I was like twelve or thirteen. I was… not very athletic. Didn’t play sports or anything. Kind of shy. Didn’t really have a lot of friends either…”

The way he trails off makes your heart hurt. Puberty isn’t nice to most people. It’s hard to imagine a world where someone like Jungkook isn’t instantly popular and naturally fit. While you’re not exactly the same person you were at twelve, a lot of your interests and personality quirks have remained the same. You’re still painfully awkward at times. How did he manage to overcome something like that? Is it not ingrained in him like it is you?

“Just a big dork, you know?” He laughs. “I see this girl I had a crush on, Amber. She’s looking at me. I think I have to impress her. So I’m stacking up weight and I think I’m hot shit and go too fast. Know what happened?”

“Please don’t tell me you dropped it on your foot or something,” you plead, squeezing his palms at the way he’s building up the story. The secondhand embarrassment is too real.

“I hear a pop.”

“No!” you gasp, bringing your hands to your face as if you can stop the past from happening.

“And pain. So much pain. I don’t remember putting the weights down but I remember ending up on my back, staring up at the ceiling.”

“Oh no. Knees?”

“Worse.” He points down to his crotch. “Pulled a muscle in my groin. Had to sit the rest of the day with an ice pack on my junk. Was not fun. My point is: don’t give up. You learn more as you go. Give Hwasa another shot.”

His anecdote gives you pause but you’re desperate to cling to the comfort of your anxiety. “My free trial with her is almost up and I don’t think I’ll be able to afford to keep at it.”

“More excuses,” he teases, taking a sip of his drink. “At this point I should just—” His eyes widen, a lightbulb practically forming above his head as he puts his cup down. “I’ll be your personal trainer!”

“Uhh…”

“No, no. It’s perfect. We’re friends now.” He smiles, proud of himself for finding a way to prove himself to you. “I can teach you everything you need to know about working out. I can set up a plan for you and figure out the best way to help you achieve your goals. Oh, man we’re gonna have to figure out your goals. What do you—”

“Hold on. Hold on,” you interrupt with a nervous laugh. “You’re missing the part where I still can’t afford it.”

He rolls his eyes and grabs your glass, holding it under the sink to refill it. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll cover it.”

You’re stunned into silence as you observe the expanse of his back, searching the black fabric of his t-shirt for the definition of his muscles. He sets the cup in front of you, waiting for your agreement. When it doesn’t come, he second guesses himself. Did he overstep?

“I mean if you’re okay with that. Would-would you want to do that?”

The innocent drunken sparkle in his eyes makes your stomach do a flip. When you woke up this morning you hardly thought the day would include getting sloshed with Jungkook and having him offer to take you on as a fitness trainee. It’s like he’s opened himself up just enough for you to see the soft mess beneath. You like it. You like it a lot and you kind of hate yourself for it. While you don’t know if you can trust him past the evening, you find yourself hoping you can.

“You won’t make fun of me?” you ask timidly before bringing the cup of water to your lips.

“It’s my job not to make fun of you. We start where you’re at and go from there. And like I said, I’ll cover the fees for as long as you want. No pressure.” He smiles at you. “What do you think?”

“...Okay,” you murmur with a nod of your head. “If you’re serious, then I’m… I’m in!”

His lips part to expose his teeth as his grin spreads. “Yes!”

As he brings his hand up in a sign of victory, his knuckles knock against his glass. You reach for the cup with impaired reflexes, hands fumbling over the slippery surface in conjunction with his. The sour contents spill across the counter as the pair of you struggle to right the glass. While he’s quicker at getting the glass upright, your brain is faster at processing what to do next and you already have a paper towel in hand, wiping up the liquid as fast as possible.

Your eyes follow the spill to the edge of the counter where it’s flooded over the side. Acting on instinct rather than rational thought, you quickly press down where the liquid has begun to pool in his lap. As you fold the paper towel over, you rub frantically as if the action will keep the stain from setting into the fabric. He shifts in his seat and squeaks out a sound so small that you can’t actually tell whether it came from him or the chair.

It only dawns on you how inappropriate your actions are when you glance towards his face and find his wide eyes gazing back at you. His cheeks, already flushed from inebriation, seem twice as vivid and his mouth is parted slightly as though he means to speak, but he doesn’t. Maybe he doesn’t want to embarrass you, but it’s too late for that.

Your palm stills against his crotch as the shape beneath becomes clear in your mind. For a second you’re frozen, but your lips work quickly to mumble an apology. It feels like an eternity before you will your drunken fingers to release the paper towel. The clearing of Jungkook’s throat is followed by a tiny giggle, then a full on snort. A grin spreads across your lips and you soon follow him into a fit of laughter. You thank the universe for the small mercy of being drunk enough to push your embarrassment to the side for the time being.

“I wasn’t thinking!” you wheeze, tears in your eyes from laughing so hard. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’ll dry.” He laughs, dabbing his pants and shirt in the absence of your hand. As he stands he pulls the hem of his shirt away from his torso and looks down at it. “Really. It’s my fault I’m so…”

“Sticky?” You quirk an eyebrow at him, a blatant flirtatious action thinly disguised as a joke as you eye the blot of liquor staining the lower half of his shirt.

Both of his eyebrows raise and a mischievous smile curls the corner of his lips. “...Wet.”

You consider his answer with a pleased hum and turn back to the counter to polish off the last of your water. You’re friends now, right? It can’t be that easy. But it kind of is. So what’s wrong with a little harmless flirting between friends?

Drunk brain, who happens to be a notorious hoe, assures you it’s great. Rational brain might disagree, but she’s taking a well-deserved nap. You’ve at least had a good night. You’re not sure it matters at this point who is giving you the attention you crave. It feels good. So good, in fact, you’re sure you can indulge drunk brain a little more.

You’re drawn to the inky shapes swirling around Jungkook’s bicep as he wipes the counter down. Every time your eyes begin to focus on an object marking his skin with some kind of meaning, he moves and you lose it. It’s brush strokes, isn’t it? You’ve definitely seen a paintbrush and mountains and a knife surrounded by roses. A swathe of grey and purple connects to each one you’ve seen, but you know there are more.

Before you can blurt that you’re dying to know how many he has and how bad it hurt to get them, he turns toward the sink and begins to work his t-shirt up his torso. You watch in awe as the toned muscles of his back are exposed. The image of the bright phoenix does little to hide their definition.

Trying to will yourself to look away is of no use; he’s hot and you’re drunk enough to acknowledge that fact. Of course he peeks at you just as the shirt slips over his head to find you open-mouthed and dazed, ogling him as though there isn’t any shame in the world that could pull your gaze from him. He turns to the fridge to give you a moment to compose yourself, nabbing a water bottle from the shelf in the process. You’re clearly not ready for the way he quickly spins on the balls of his feet to face you.

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

Your fingers hang in the air suspiciously until you lazily drop them. But Jungkook dons a toothy grin and has the audacity to look shy. He mockingly shields his chest from you with the shirt clutched in his hands.

“Princess! Are you… checking me out?”

Somehow you don’t let the fire in your face turn your brain to ash.“Pfft, no.”

“What’re you doing, then?” he teases with a laugh as he sits, scooting his chair closer to yours.

“Counting,” you reply simply, brow furrowed in concentration. To drive the point home, you poke at his flesh everywhere you can make out an object drawn into its surface.

“How many?” he wonders, watching with cloudy, amused eyes.

“Mmm…” You trail your finger down his arm and back up, following the curve of the brushstroke around his shoulder. “Can’t tell if this counts as one.”

He shrugs and rests his head on his palm as he leans against the counter. “What do you think?”

You hesitate when he quickly quirks a brow.

“I think… A lot.”

“Definitely accurate,” he says with a grin.

Awkward laughter steers the pair of you towards your waters. The TV in the background provides enough noise to steal your focus; you’re grateful for the distraction from the attractive man beside you. Drunk brain is telling you to touch him again, to grab his hand, to feel the touch of someone just for the night, to ruin every good thing this night has started to rebuild between you. Anything to stave off the emptiness of your bed, the 2AM thoughts of failure, and the drunken desperation to find someone, anyone, who will fall in love with whatever image you happen to project on your dating profile.

Heart pounding wildly in your chest and blood rushing through your ears, your fingertips tap against the countertop as they inch closer to where his arm rests. Luckily your futile attempts at nonchalance go unnoticed. Jungkook anxiously turns his water bottle over in his hands, trying to gather words in his brain before freeing them from his mouth.

“So…” he begins.

You jump at the sudden sound and retract your hand while he’s not paying you any mind.

“I was thinking. About that guy…”

You wish you could at least pretend you don’t know who he’s talking about. You’ve vented plenty tonight, but still your heart sinks. Deleting Jason’s digital footprint from your life was simple and quick, but the feelings of rejection and disappointment that swirl in the back of your mind spill forward the longer his pause continues.

“I know this probably means nothing coming from me. But I just— I know you liked him, but you can do better.“

Your posture stiffens at his reassurance and you find yourself grateful he’s not looking at you. Do you deserve better?

“You deserve better,” he affirms, as if somehow aware of your internal struggle.

“Thanks,” you murmur with a distinct lack of enthusiasm as you stare down your glass.

It's cry hours, isn’t it?

Realizing you don’t believe him, he takes a deep breath and nudges you with his elbow. “Hey.”

“What.” You refuse to look up because you know you’re on the verge of an irrational stream of tears over some guy you hardly knew. It’s stupid and you know it. But the wet warmth coating your eyes tells you it’s coming regardless.

“I’m... sorry that you don’t feel like you do. Some people can’t get over the weight of their own shit. But that doesn’t mean it’s on you to pick it up for them. If they can’t even bother to carry themselves to meet you halfway, then they’re not worth the effort.”

It’s a perfect time for your heart to seize up and it takes the opportunity to do so. The advice he offers doesn’t stave off the tears, but it resonates deep within you. Namjoon said something similar. It makes you ache to hear it again from someone else. It just leads you back to the same questions you keep asking yourself. What’s so wrong with you that people don’t even want to try? Is it your personality? Physicality? Is it a lack of confidence? What is it?

‘I can’t even get a shitty guy to like me. Maybe I’m the one not worth the effort.’ You don’t dare say those words out loud. Pity isn’t something you’re looking for. A warm body to fill your bed maybe, but not pity.

“Sounds easy when you say it like that,” you murmur, trying in vain to will the tears not to fall. You’re quick to swipe at them and force a smile. “I guess I have trouble giving up on people. It’s not that I’m naive. I try to be realistic. But no matter how many times I get fucked over I just... hope for the best in people. I can’t help it.”

He pats your arm reassuringly. “That’s why you deserve better.”

If only it was as simple as hearing those words and magically being able to believe it. A big chunk of your confidence has crumbled away and there’s no clear path to restoration. As the warmth of his palm comes to rest against your arm, you place your hand over his and squeeze.

“I don’t know if I believe it,” you pause and thoughtfully add, “but thanks for saying it.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise and he offers a tiny, “You’re welcome.”

A shaky chuckle passes your lips. All of his features seem to soften the more you look at them. Maybe it’s the drunken gloss coating his big brown eyes or the way his lips slightly part as he looks back at you. The tightly coiled nerves in your belly urge you to unravel.

Although it's a subtle gesture, he licks his lips as he smiles and it practically seals your fate. If you don't leave now you're bound to do something you'll regret.

"It's late. I should sleep."

Or masturbate.

The speed at which you launch yourself from the seat is unpleasant. You're not sure what's worse: the dizzying vertigo or waves nausea sloshing in your gut. Jungkook's reflexes may be delayed but he's a steady mass of muscle the moment you reach out to steady yourself.

"Whoa. You okay?"

"Maybe," you mumble, finding yourself drawn to the heat radiating from his skin. Instead of walking away, slump down to rest your cheek against his shoulder and sling an arm around him. You might be drunker than you thought. "I don't know."

"Hmm. What do you need, princess?"

"Just wanna stop spinning."

His stance shifts to better accommodate the additional weight you press against him.

"How about you take over Yoongi's bed tonight," he suggests softly. "He's passed out anyway."

"No, I should go home." You peel your cheek from the warmth of his skin.

“You gonna make it there?”

“Yes,” you say indignantly. The world may be a bit wobbly right now, but you’re certain you can handle the short stroll down the hall.

"Okay.” He smiles, loosening his hold. As you step back your foot catches on the leg of the chair and it drags loudly against the floor.

Despite Jungkook’s attempt to keep you standing by grabbing at your arms, he loses his balance and he drops to his knees. The chair clatters to the floor before your ass does. Luckily his grip keeps your back and head far from impact, but you’re too cramped to be comfortable.

“Are you okay?” he asks. Those big, dark doe eyes of his are frozen in fear and a frown adorns his face. He looks so serious it’s ridiculous.

You can’t help but laugh, wiggling backwards to make space between his body and the heat steadily building between your legs. “I’m fine. Stop making that face.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” He sits back on his feet and tilts his head to the side in confusion.

He breaks into a fit of giggles when you dramatically mimic his expression. You roll back onto your elbows, making another ridiculous face to further mock him.

“No, no. It’s more like…” Jungkook takes the opportunity to lean over you, reaching with one hand to squeeze your cheeks to pucker your lips. You blow a disjointed raspberry at him before pulling his hand off to the side.

While the clamor of the fallen chair did nothing to rouse the men on the couch, the sound of Jungkook’s hearty laughter is loud enough to disturb the rhythmic snores of Namjoon.

Jungkook sits back on his heels and peeks over the countertop. He seems miles away, even as you sit up and scoot in to bring yourself closer. Laughter fades into a quiet hum as Namjoon’s snoring resumes.

You're lost in the abyss of his gaze as he turns his head to look back at you. All that remains in your brain at this point is a foggy desire to tug on the silky spirals of his ebony hair until he presses himself against you one more time.

Your hand settles for following the curves of his bicep instead, wondering how it might feel to be wrapped within his embrace. Some might say liquor makes you bold and stupid, and they're right. They should say it. But it also makes you feel invincible, like a goddamn glowing Mario star power-up.

"Princess?"

Enraptured, his eyes follow the motion of your hand as it slithers around his arm and squeezes. Unable to ignore the prompt, he answers with a flex against your palm. His ego swells when you shiver and noticeably hold your breath.

You know it's a mistake. You know it goes against all of your sober judgement, but you find yourself doing it anyway. It doesn't matter that you still harbor a grudge that holds your heart hostage. Drunk hoe vibes are taking the wheel. You’re tired, drunk as hell, and just want to feel wanted. And he's here.

Every fiber of your inebriated being is singing in unison: Why the fuck not?

Heartbeat pounding against your eardrums, you attempt to gauge his reaction as you lean towards him. It's hard to tell from beneath half-lidded eyes, but you think he's leaning towards you too. If he isn't you suppose you can always play it off like you're just a mess. It's not far from the truth. Focusing on the tiny freckle below his lip, you allow yourself to finally close your eyes and go for it.

But the universe isn’t here for your dumb boozy bitch mistakes.

The front door swings open with the sound of jingling keys dropping to the floor. It snaps you back to reality and you freeze, realizing there's no defense that will save you. Jungkook is quick to disengage, poking his head above the counter to acknowledge Hoseok’s presence with a wave. But his friend is completely enamored with the company he’s ushering towards his bedroom.

“Yeah, baby? How bad?” Hoseok whispers to the giggling girl wrapped around his arm.

He pins the stranger against the door to drag his tongue across her neck. Their bodies move rhythmically in a slow grind, a precursor for what’s likely to come. Jungkook purses his lips. How long until one of them notices him watching? It’s not until the girl moans Hoseok’s name softly that Jungkook spares a panicked look towards you.

Oh shit.

You gesture for him to get down before he draws their attention. The last thing you want to explain is why you’re on your knees in Hoseok’s kitchen with a very shirtless Jungkook standing close by. He obliges your silent request, squatting down beside you.

“Feel how hard you made me?” Hobi chuckles quietly.

The girl giggles, her voice growing closer. “You gonna fuck me right here or what?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Naughty girl. What if my roommate wakes up? Looks like he has a friend over too. You really want them to see what a dirty slut you are?”

You can hear her giggle as he directs her where to go, failing to keep his voice down so you hear every filthy thing he says after. Your hands fly to cover your mouth. Is your skin made of lava? You want to blame it on the close proximity to Jungkook, but the only thing you can imagine is Hoseok’s dick and the eager mystery woman about to be impaled by it. Can you scrub your brain of this memory? How are you supposed to look at him after this?

Jungkook watches your face carefully, trying his hardest not to laugh. Your eyes look so big he’s pretty sure they could roll out of your skull any second. Are you really so innocent? The way you cover your mouth says you are, but maybe it’s just the shock. Maybe you’re just trying to not laugh. Or scream. Or breathe? It kind of looks like you might pass out.

Are you gonna make it, princess? he wonders.

Once you hear Hoseok's bedroom door close, you fuss your hands over your hair and scramble to your feet, releasing a big exhale. The hushed words fall from your lips while you scurry away like a timid mouse. "I should go."

Despite being too far to make contact, he reaches out as you round the counter. "Wait—"

As soon as the word leaves his mouth he struggles to come up with the rest of his statement. There’s no reason to keep you here, except to maybe laugh a little about what just happened to smooth over any second-hand embarrassment. So why doesn’t he want you to go?

He swallows down the blank space caught in his throat and searches every last crevice of his brain for something of import to say. Guilt weighs his gut down, though there isn’t a clear cause. He’s probably screwed something up again without realizing it.

“Thanks for giving me another shot,” he says softly.

You breathe a sigh of relief and offer a tiny smile as you half turn, your hand already on the door handle. “Don’t blow it.”

He nods with a smile. “I won’t. Goodnight.”

“‘Night,” you mumble.

As soon as the door is closed you practically sprint down the hall to lock yourself within your apartment. Maybe it will also lock out all the mistakes your brain has made tonight.

The world feels colder now that you’re not pressed against the human-shaped heater that is Jeon Jungkook. Thinking about him makes your heart swell and ache at the same time. Regardless of how badly you wish you'd asked him to bed, you know loneliness is fleeting and guilt would be a far worse feeling to be saddled with.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook picks up the fallen chair, finding your soft, worn hoodie draped over it. Rubbing a thumb over the material, he considers running it back to you, but he can't remember which door is yours. It's not like he's been here often enough to know. Instead he slips his arms through the sleeves before flipping the hood over his head.

He settles on the floor in the space he previously claimed for the night, pulling a blanket out from under Yoongi's ass. Yoongi rolls his head up, a scowl on his features though his eyes remain closed. He grumbles but lies down, facing the couch.

Jungkook regards his friend for a moment before deciding to drape the blanket over him instead of claiming it for himself. Jungkook rolls onto his side and fluffs the throw pillow under his head. As he watches the credits roll on the TV, he nuzzles into your sweater.

He closes his eyes, thinking of you. He knows he shouldn't linger on the little occurrences of the night, especially with how foggy his brain is. He can't trust anything about his memory.

Still he thinks of the way your fingers trailed along his arm and curled tightly around his bicep. He lets himself dwell on the tiny sound you made, the involuntary tremble of your body, and the subsequent hitch in your breath.

He smiles and inhales the subtle scent you've left behind. A new spark of adrenaline fans flames that inflate his ego, spreading warmth from his stomach up into his chest. The world may wobble around him right now, but the little magical warmth within his gut helps him comfortably drift off to dreamland like he's the world's most immovable object.

[just-an-aussie-fandom-hermit]

Some #Only in Gotham posts because I’m stressed and this is my coping mechanism

Guys guys guys

So I was in Central City today visiting some friends earlier this morning, and then the city gets attacked by these... aliens? Weird reptillian cryptids?? Who knows, but they were not happy nor friendly. We were all at this nice cafe just vibing in the outdoor area when this bipedal, green-gray reptile thing pops out of the manhole outside the cafe and goes absolutely feral. He was super close to my group so I grab my croc repellant (for non gothamites, its’ basically pepper spray but really bad-smelling to ward off croc if he ever shows up) out in an instant and I sprayed it right in the face.

Then I grabbed the nearest thing—some poor old guy’s metal walking frame—and whacked the reptile in the back of the head and it crumpled basically instantly.

And after the JL had stepped in to deal with the rest of them (not many, from what I’ve heard, but better safe than sorry I guess), heaps of people were freaking out about it because, well, this is Central City, they don’t get this kind of crime, they’re not prepared for this, yada yada.

Then that manhole pops up and everyone freaks out again because “oh god they’re back” but it’s just Batman dragging a bunch of tied up reptiles out of the sewers using some kind of winch set-up. It was almost comical—a daisy chain of reptiles being lifted out of this manhole in Central City by our favourite Goth Cryptid.

The cops were completely floored. The civilians didn’t know whether to be more scared of Bats or the reptiles. I mean, it was literally the middle of the day, and it’s rare to see Batman in daytime in Gotham but I guess this was an extenuating circumstance, so I guess I see why they were scared.

Batman just looks down at me standing over an unconscious reptilian holding the can of croc repellant and he’s just like “I’m guessing you’re from Gotham.”

I was like “yeah. Can’t escape the damn cryptids wherever I am.”

And tHEN he LAUGHS. Like, it was a small and quiet snort but it happened and I’m still shook. I have officially joined the “I made Batman laugh” squad. I can ascend peacefully now.

He seemed super embarrassed but asked if my friends and I were okay before he turned on his heel and stalked over to Flash and Woner Woman, a daisy-chain of reptiles in tow.

#lmao #onlyingotham #Batman #IMadeBatmanLaugh #ITookDownAReptileCryptid #GothamIsWeirdOkay #WeGottaBePreparedForAnything

———

I just heard this Metropolis guy try and trash Bruce Wayne to his friend at this diner and like five seperate people (myself included) turned around to roast the hell outta him. Like, yeah, he’s a billionaire, which is a whole can of worms I don’t wanna open right now, but he’s basically the only reason this city’s still standing and functioning (especially after the quakes and the no-man’s-land bs). His kids—most are poc and would not have thrived in the system—are all successful and work with their communities to better other people’s lives. Bruce Wayne is basically the only reason I got through high school (and am now in college); a scholarship is the only reason most of my friends have enough money to make rent. He “accidentally” spilled wine on Lex Luthor when he made a sexist remark. Also, didn’t it come out recently that he’s basically been funding the JL o at least is a major financial backer? An icon. You can shut your mouth, Jeremy.

One girl Instagram lived the whole exchange (she was filming beforehand I think) and it was magical.

Later on, Robin (the newest one, with the swords) shows up and he’s like “thank you for defending the honour of Mr Wayne”. I was like “kid,,,, you don’t need to thank me but you’re welcome”. he just kinda looks at me for a second and says “you eat free tonight” and chucks a bunch of dollar notes at me and disappears into the wilderness (ie. an alleyway). It was so surreal.

#GiveWayneABreak #BruceWayne #LetTheManLiveHisLife #GothamitesProtectTheirOwn #EvenTheBatkidsAreProtectiveOfHim

———

Yeah so....... I just saw some of Two-Face’s goons about to enter a bank, weapons drawn, and I’m scared because their boss is in Arkham, and the Rogues’ most loyal people always get antsy and trigger-happy when their bosses are off the board. I’d dialed 911 when I first saw them and ducked into an alley.

But then I see one of them stop dead in their tracks—Goon A we’ll call him—and says “hey, Wayne’s in there”.

Goon B: “Oh, we’re not meant to go after Wayne. Pack it in fellas.”

Goon C: “Huh? why not?”

Goon A: “Boss-man said so. Wayne used to be his best bud. Helped him campaign to be DA and stuff. Went to college together. Nice man.”

Goon B: “Got no problem wth that. Wayne’s the only reason my boys got through school. Besides, we mess with Wayne, the boss and Harley will be on our asses.”

Goon C: “Huh. Fair enough. We’ll go to the other location then.”

And then they just,,,, left.

#EvenTheRoguesWannaProtectHim #BruceWayne #HarveyDent #TheGuysGotCaughtAfter #IToldDetectiveMontoya #AndSheJustSighedForAReallyLongTime #OnlyInGotham #GothamIsWeird

———

Today I was in a Zoom call with some of my coworkers on the other side of the world, sitting in the kitchen facing the living room, when Red Robin comes crashing through my window. I just kinda turned around to see if he was badly injured (he wasn’t, couldn’t even see any blood) so I just continued on with what I was saying and he sheepishly left through the same window.

My coworkers are looking at me like “Jacob are you okay??” And I’m like, “yeah man, that was just Red Robin, he has unfortunate luck with windows. Soon enough one of the other Bats will come knocking with a replacement or a cash refund. Though, I should probably just invest in plexi-glass.”

One of my coworkers went on a bit of a rant about “vigilantes causing property damage and disrupting the peace” and i’m like “Mark I’d rather Batman crashing through my door or window once a month to getting buried in my twenties in his abscence,” and he was like “yeah, fair enough” so we just continued with our call.

After my call, Blonde Batgirl shows up and apologises for the window. I ask about plexi-glass and if Red Robin is alright.

She’s like “yeah he’s fine but he’s getting Bat-Lectured for being reckless which is why I’m here. Also from what Oracle can tell you should be able to get plex-glass installed within the week.”

#OnlyInGotham #GettingBatLecturedDoesNotSoundFun #ThanksOracle #BatmanDontBeTooHardOnTheKid #Gothamite #MeanwhileInGothamCity #GothamCity #RedRobin

———

So, Red Hood piggy-backed me up to my apartment yesterday because my heel broke when I was fleeing from these guys trying to mug me (or worse) and I sprained my ankle. He carried me up four flights of stairs and helped me get into my apartment and wrap my foot properly.

I told him to take some of my nana’s lasagna (because our local vigilante needs to keep his strength up! Man’s gotta eat, and from what I hear he’s not swimming in cash) and he got real quiet for a while before saying “yeah, sure”.

So he ate some lasagna while I called in sick to work (who were very understanding, surprisingly).

Then after a little while he’s like “bye” and jumps outta my window.

An icon.

#RedHood #OnyInGotham #WeStanALegend #IHopeYouLikedTheLasagna #MyNanaSaysSheWillMakeMoreForYou #GrowingUpInCrimeAlley

[inkofamethyst]

September 29, 2022

Effects of Critical Role on my Daily Life

audibly saying “big money no whammies” as I submit the answers to an online quiz and then describing my reaction to the grade with an amount of money or a number of whammies or both

inserting the phrase “critical role” in every essay I write

I accidentally became super invested in the Ned Tryguy Tries Infidelity drama that burst onto yesterday’s tiktok scene (like,,,, and this has never happened to me before, but every single tiktok on my fyp was about this dude) and this was a problem because I had two exams today and while they ended up being fairly straightforward (I think) only time will tell whether spending two hours on my phone instead of memorizing sea urchin embryonic cleavage was worth it.  It has significantly subsided today and I’m greeted with the chess-player-uses-anal-beads-to-cheat scandal and lil jokey jokes (including the suggestion that the supposed cheater should play naked) about it.  I haven’t watched Buzzfeed or TryGuys in years but whew boy I was itching for information like there was no tomorrow.  I learned so much about these men and so much about Buzzfeed (I never watched any of the “why I left Buzzfeed” videos bc I figured they were all just going to talk about a draining work environment) and just,,,,, I don’t know if I can ever trust a man who waxes poetic about loving his wife ever again (I’m joking but still).

I find it funny that I’ve coincidentally been getting back into Good Mythical Morning a little more recently, you know, another YouTube sensation from back in the mid-2010s.  

There is.. a pressure which I am placing on myself to receive admission to a graduate school which is better than or at the very least equal to the quality of the school which I am attending for undergrad.  So, a few places I intend to apply do not fit that description, and it bums me out a little to think about it.  Like, my entire goal here is to climb upward.  Or at least to not go downward.  And as intelligent as these people at these universities may be, it makes me feel a little sad at the prospect that “hey maybe I won’t end up in a cool place for grad school” you know?

I suppose I felt that way about the school I’m attending now, though.  It was at the bottom of my list, but I am thankful that I chose to attend this place.  I made the best out of the hand I was given, and that’s okay.  It might just be that I’d have to do it again.

Today I’m thankful that my two exams went better than expected (I think).

[cosmiclatte28]

I was wondering if you could have yuta comfort a fan during a panic attack? I really love cute nicknames too if you can add them in. If it doesn't apply to your rules I understand. I personally love kpop idols comforting fan scenarios

this is my first request after a long time, and I enjoy this :D

thank you for sending the request !!!

trigger warning : panic attack, strict and controlling family

@unadulteratedmusiciansrockalien thank you for sending this, hope you like this :D

nets @superm-net @multifandomnet

Another day of the life you never wished or dreamed of. The beep from the microwave brings you back to reality, you bend over to take a cup of hot water and drop in a bag of tea. While your hand plays with the tea bag, bouncing it up and down as you calm yourself by watching the brown color fusing into the water, your eyes catch the shadow of your most feared man.

“Good morning, dad.” you greet him and try to hide your face from him. This man who has raised you, is not your biological father. Your mother remarried a man who is so successful in his land and properties business. You detest him though because he forced you to earn a marketing degree when all you wanted to do was be a pediatrician. Words were exchanged back then and his words were unchangeable, he made you take a marketing degree and he’d been controlling your life until now.

“Ready to meet our biggest client? Lord Hyuck from the Lee family is planning to buy and invest money on our newest property area. They are going to make a factory for silicones and if their business is doing well, they might take over the neighboring land too.” he stirs his morning coffee with glint of hopes in his eyes.

Your body stiffens, why does he have to give the most important project to you? You will just mess it up and you won’t be able to convince him to buy the land. Even worse, what if the lee would never buy land or properties from your dad anymore? Will you be a disgrace?

You pause your bouncing activity and clear your throat “I’m sorry but why should you assign me on this big project?”

Your dad raises a brow “Well, of course because you are my daughter and I don’t trust the other employees. They might make a deal behind my back, adding some prices or make a secret deal that could backstab our company. I know, you won’t do that right?” he pulls his “family is who you can trust” card and your finger cannot stop drumming your cup. You’re nervous! Despite being the daughter of the chairman, you’ve always taken the smaller projects because you cannot deal with the nerves of sitting and bargaining to big people.

“I don’t know if I can, dad. Can’t you send Mr Seo instead? He’s your loyal senior marketing agent.” you sip on your cup, your dad not noticing the tremble in your hand.

He shakes his head “I want to give you a big project now and I know you won’t mess it up for me. Right (y/n)? Show me that you are worthy and show me what you’ve learned from the most prestigious school here! Now chop chop, Yuta will be responsible to drive you there at eleven.” with a pat on the back, he leaves you there.

“You got this,” a co-worker who accidentally heard your talk reassures you.

“Thank you Taeyong, I hope so. Well, let me just prepare myself then.” you giggle nervously, stomach already churning and ready to just run to the closest restroom and throw your breakfast out.

You’re super nervous. Meeting new people is not your comfort zone, talking to new people makes you sweat and you are tired of being controlled.

---

“Big project ahead, but I know you will be okay.” your loyal caretaker and personal driver whispers when he opens the door to help you inside and takes over your stuffs.

You sigh “Yuta, you’re only making me feel more nervous.”

He ruffles your hair and gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze “No worries my little angel, I will be here. Do you feel suffocated in this car?” you flash a small smile and take a deep breath. “Yes/ I don’t feel like sitting in a closed room, Yuta do we have another option?”

Yuta smirks and steps out of the driver seat, “Well, yes of course I have, my lady. Please step out and we will be on the road soon.”

You wait for him in the lobby, your head keeps on repeating the breathing exercise Yuta taught you.

He returns with a pair of helmet and a motorcycle on his side. Yuta calmly puts it over your head and you keep fidgeting with your fingers.

Breathing still feels hard, you know you’re almost having a panic attack but you keep hypnotizing yourself that “I am experiencing a panic attack. It feels scary but it will not cause physical harm.”

The loyal man takes your hands and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Breathe with me darling, slowly but deep.” he coaxes you in with his deep soothing voice.

When he sees no objection from you, Yuta pulls you closer into his embrace and runs a hand on your back. “This feels awful sweetie, I know. but it’s not going to hurt you”

You close your eyes and limp yourself into his hug, “Breathe, breathe.. I am okay, I can breathe. There is nothing stopping me from breathing.” you chant to yourself and Yuta just keeps stroking your back. Calming you down with all his warmth, lovely touches, and white noises in your ear. His warm hand makes his way to your neck, he touches you there and just keeps your body standing. You melt deeper into his body, really loving how he can sooth your panic attack.

He hums soft tunes into your ear, he breathes calmly by your side so you can follow him and he keeps praising you for being a good girl in calming yourself down.

“Yoshi-yoshi, there my good girl. Breathe with me okay, you’re doing so great.” he giggles when he feels you tense a little from his japanese words.

When you calm down and stop shaking, Yuta cups your face and stares into your eyes with his soft amber ones.

“I am always here for you okay my sweetheart. I won’t leave you ever.” his thumb caresses your cheek and you blush.

“Thank you Yuta. I think I’m ready to go.” You play with your hair. He presses a quick kiss on your forehead and one more on your cheek. “Good girl.”

He takes a seat on the motorcycle and you jump behind him. Yuta smiles when he sees your face less pale. “Keep breathing my dear, I know you can do that. Hold on tight,” he grabs your hand and hugs it over his waist. “Do what’s comfortable darling. You are safe here with me.” he winks and soon after takes off to the busy street.

You close your eyes and press your cheek to his back, your arms still hugging Yuta tightly from the back. His musky cologne calms your nerves down and hearing Yuta’s heartbeat also makes you feel safe.

Both of you make it to the meeting place. You step down from the vehicle and Yuta helps you take off the helmet. He runs his finger slowly to fix your hair and when you want to open your mouth asking if you look good he already beats you into it. “You look stunning. Now, I know you will do amazing. Mr. Lee is kind, don’t be scared. I will be on the table next to yours, if you need anything I will always be there.” Yuta plants a quick kiss again on your cheek and touches them slowly. You lean your cheek into his palm and take his other free hand, lace it with yours and squeeze it “Thank you Yuta! I love you.” you blush as you plant a quick kiss on his lips and then run away to step into the café before your client comes.

Yuta still stands next to his motorcycle, eyes wide open, cheeks red. He shakes his head to regain his composure and smirks “That little angel, she woke up the devil inside me.”

end

[chalkrevelations]

Huh.

Well, this is not the next episode reaction you were expecting, but a while back, in the middle of the night, while I was ready to cry from working on a pharmacology paper, out of nowhere, Youtube threw up Street Dance of China S3 Ep1 at me. And yeah. I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show. (There are enough SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal that I feel there’s no point denying this.)

So – no, actually, wait. FIRST of all, I do NOT believe the “towel vote” we ended up being given for the opening routines from the four captains. That was the most blatant bit of bullshit chicanery I’ve seen in my LIFE, and I say this as a person with a ton of SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal, and I also say this not because Wang Yibo ended up last (well, not entirely), but because I saw Wallace Chung’s routine. As someone closer in age to him than to the other three captains, I have to give him props for trying, but come on, man. The critique that Yibo got from random contestants – if the subtitles are to be believed, so I realize this needs a grain of salt - basically boiled down to “it was too good for the stage lighting.” :hands: Also, I saw your face at the reveal, Wallace, and you were as shocked as I was. No way you got more towels/votes than Wang Yibo. Not unless there’s some super wild undercurrent of nostalgia propping you up, which, I guess could happen, because literally all I know about pop culture in China, current or otherwise, is filtered through Tumblr and Youtube, both notoriously suspect, but … anyway. There’s got to be a TON of behind-the-scenes manipulation going on for Yibo to be rock-bottom with last pick of teams but then also to end up with THAT pool of possibles. Are you kidding me with this?

ANYWAY, what I wanted to say is that I actually really like Wang Yibo here, and it’s not just because he’s the only captain I have even a sliver of familiarity with, and it’s not just because Lan Wangji was banging Wei Wuxian. I do realize all of this is influenced by whatever edit they’ve decided to give a particular captain or contestant, but I’m impressed with the way Yibo immediately starts team building by getting his group into a warmup, getting them dancing together, getting them dancing with him before they have to worry about dancing for him. (I mean, come on, Jackson Wang. The way to get people to stop being nervous is not to say “Stop being nervous! It will make you fuck up!”) The way Yibo immediately recognized and responded to his group’s concerns about that one dude copying someone else’s routine probably also bought him a lot of return investment. He’s dressed to work it, in his sweats and his flannel (what IS that fake-leather TAC vest and random leg holster-looking thing, Jackson Wang?). He’s convincing me he really loves to dance, he can’t hold still while he watches the contestants, he’s wandering over into other captains’ turf when it sounds like there’s a dancer performing who he might like to see, he’s being the best Yibo he can be, and I’m grooving along, wind in my hair, totally down for this ride. He’s also adorable at the beginning when all the other captains are like, my goal for this season is to slaughter the competition and dance on their graves! And he’s like, well, I’d like to … make some friends? And learn some new stuff? I don’t know if the perpetual Humble Student schtick is natural or persona, or whether it’s general or specific to dancing, but it’s working for you, my dude. This is also made better (read: ironic), by the fact that it’s immediately before the towel reveal, when he flips over to utter disbelief and gets all sulky for a while over the “fact” that his dance routine got the least votes.

Also, OH WAIT. This is where that clip of Yibo dancing with his crew ALL OVER HIM came from that I saw floating around a few months ago, isn’t it? You’re telling me those guys had never danced together before and had like, three minutes to throw together that routine? I’m even more impressed than before. Meanwhile, the towels symbolize courage and challenge, Mr. Emcee? OK, fine, cheesy reality show blah blah whatever. Can we get to the dancing now?

I’m going to put the rest of this behind a cut, because it got super long, because it turns out, when you watch in 5-minute increments, it takes two and a half weeks to get through a single episode, but you actually can see and have opinions on all 5,328 contestants, plus every single one of the captains’ battles. Meanwhile, I’m trying to convince myself this is not going to be another series of episode reactions, but 1) I do have the benefit of not having a ton of hometown media giving me a next-day play-by-play, so even though this is six months old, everything’s a surprise; 2) I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show; and 3) it’s easy to watch in 5-minute increments between researching drug interactions in hypothetical hypertensive patients with stable ischemic heart disease, erectile dysfunction, and seasonal allergies. So, I guess we’ll see. It’ll be slow going, though, because I don’t ever have two and half hours to sit down and watch an ep cover-to-cover – if it happens, it will likely keep happening in 5-minute increments. Meanwhile, there is a metric shit-ton of nattering below the cut, so caveat lector. No, seriously, I kept adding to this little by little until it became a monster. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

OK, I am generally out of my depth here, as this is not at all my area of dance not-really-expertise, but some reactions:

Team Wang Yibo: I can see why he didn’t want to choose between Colin and Dian Men – Colin might have been a touch better technically and a better showman, but Dian Men didn’t seem to have a single wasted move – but, also, my dude. Yibo. You maybe should look a little bit less stunned and overwhelmed by the mere presence of Colin, it’s giving me ideas about your taste in men. Continuing with the powerhouses, I probably shouldn’t even attempt to critique Klash, but I did feel like he was a bit stiff in some of his footwork; that final V kick, though, shit, that’s what having that kind of upper-body strength is for. Bouboo … I mean, excellent flexibility and control, of course, but mainly I’m just terribly amused that Yibo got last pick of teams but somehow ended up with the guy who’s literal world champion, and who’s just as useful for getting into the other captains’ heads – without even trying – as he is for his talent. And then there’s a montage of Yibo giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you cannot keep up this pace. There are still too many dancers to see, and you don’t have that many towels. AAANNNND Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Jackson Wang: I do like Gai Gai, although that may be influenced by the fact she’s working in the twilight area between hip-hop and contemporary that I have more familiarity with - but also, I suspect she’s pretty good in her genre. I thought Xiao Jie was inconsistent and didn’t stick the landing on his initial attempt, so I have to give you that hesitation, Jackson, even though you’ve somehow ended up the villain in my inner narrative for this show, for no particular reason I can yet discern. Maybe it’s that you’re the direct competition for Yibo’s team in the towel battles. Good enough. Anyway, Xiao Jie definitely stepped up his game for the battle with Bingo, so I can kind of see why both of them got a towel, but we’re not even halfway through this, and most of y’all are giving away towels like you have an endless supply. Yang Kai is a fucking menace with fantastic musicality, and I’m just gonna say it and take the fallout - I think he gave a better performance first time out of the gate than any of Yibo’s powerhouses did. Whatever power Klash has got, whatever skill Bouboo has got, Yang Kai feels more explosive and engaging, at least in these initial showings. He’s going to be one to beat, I’d hug him too, if he was on my team and was going to help me WIN. Yibo’s probably lucky that happened during his little stroll over to check out the competition, so that he can see they’re definitely competitive and be prepared for it. Also, Jackson, I have to admit - that face you made when Chao really kicked in? That was the same face I made, because wt actual f, you have a literal secret weapon – secret because he CAME FROM NOWHERE and NO ONE EVEN KNOWS him, how is that even possible, how did he get that good – fluid, creative, controlled, incredible musicality - without anyone having any idea who he even is? And then there’s a montage of Jackson just giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you need to slow down. You can’t just be like, “THEY LOVE DANCE WITH ALL OF THEIR WHOLE HEARTS!!!!1111!!!!11!” I get it, but everyone there loves dance with all of their whole hearts, and there are not enough towels to send all of them on to the next round. ANNNND, Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Lay Zhang: lol at how diplomatic you’re being, Lay Zhang – your team’s fierce roar startled you, OK. At this point, I suspect you’re the street most likely to have a knife fight break out before this is all over. I do like Alex, I think he’s got a lot of interesting, super-clean details in his moves, and he’s engaging - I cannot BELIEVE you made him battle that dude whose moves were so mushy, Lay Zhang, it leaves me doubting your ability to judge this thing. At first I thought maybe you were just looking for an excuse because you wanted to see Alex freestyle, but then you actually said something about both dancers being equal, and my estimation of you plummeted, and also sadly, my sound dropped out for the actual battle, including the part where the clearly inferior dancer fell over and then accidentally POPPED ALEX ONE IN THE EYE, and I TOLD YOU SO. I do agree it’s a good idea to make dancers in the same genre do some battling, so you can kind of plan out your towels and put together a team with broad strengths, instead of giving out towels like you’re making it rain for the first 20 contestants, and then you have 1,375 more people to get through, with 3 towels left, as EVERYONE ELSE seems to be doing, so it’s nice that at least one of you guys is thinking – if not actually acting - strategically. That was clearly not even a contest, though, GIVE ALEX HIS TOWEL and send him to the next round. Xiao Bao is hilarious, with his concern that his team captain, who’s into krump, which is “beating,” isn’t going to appreciate his waacking, which is “slapping.” I also don’t know a whole lot about waacking, so thanks for the primer, Xiao Bao, and don’t worry, your performance is just as engaging for those of us who don’t know what we’re watching as you are generally. You deserve that towel for your ability to interact with and engage your audience, alone. Lingo is a good solid performance, although he’s got his team captain strategizing edited over some of it, and here’s the thing: we are 1:56:00 into this, at this point, with another half hour to go, and all of you are starting to disappear into the sea of dancers who are very good at what you do, but at generally the same level? Anyway, Lingo, I approve of your ability to interact with your audience (read: your captain) to ensure engagement, too, so keep that up. Annnd, we actually haven’t seen that much of you guys, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

Team Wallace Chung: I’m glad Su Lian Ya insisted on performing, I thought she started off slow but warmed up, and that ending was creepily fantastic and had me spontaneously grinning at the screen in delight. Then we lose sight of this group for a really long time, actually. We go back to find Wallace putting through a couple of urban dancers who we barely see, but who apparently claim to have some choreography experience, and he really likes that. TI shows up, and they’re solid, but honestly, not as good in this performance as they were in some of the stock footage the show threw up to introduce them, but Wallace remains super-excited about the idea of choreography and sends at least choreographer Zhang Jiang Peng through to the next round. And then, we really haven’t seen that much of you guys, either, which maybe doesn’t bode well, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

FOOTNOTE 1, aka TOWEL BATTLE ONE, Team Yibo vs. Team Jackson, 3V3 freestyle: First of all, I have to say, I love Yibo - Mr. I Just Wanna Make Some Friends And Have Some Fun - being all, “I have three crappy white towels I’m stuck with for coming in last place that I can’t use to send dancers to the next round and that I DO NOT DESERVE, and I am getting BACK the colorful towels that ARE RIGHTFULLY MINE. I am coming for whoever is in my way.” Team Yibo is Bouboo, Klash, Dian Men, and OK, given what we’ve seen so far, that’s the safe choice, but honestly, I think we’re just taking some things for granted right now, and I’m not sure they actually have given the best performances so far. Yeah, I said it. Team Jackson is Yang Kai, Chao, and Xiao Jie, and … ok, on that last one, I think you probably could have substituted Bingo, but all right. Yang Kai is a definite yes. Chao will be great if he can stay out of his own head and not psych himself out, but given what we’ve seen so far, he’s an obvious pick. First round, Yang Kai vs. Klash, and Yang Kai is still a fucking menace, with super lines. Klash definitely stepped up his game for the battle, and I can’t get over the upper body strength he’s got, to get that kind of airy bounce in his moves, but to be honest, I can’t even be mad the first round went to Yang Kai and Team Jackson. Second round, Yang Kai is still … y’all, the beautiful lines from this guy in his poses, I can’t get over them, but I think he doesn’t have the stamina, his footwork is getting sloppy. Bouboo also steps up his game for an actual battle, his fluidity and control is amazing, and yeah, round to Team Yibo. Round three, Xiao Jie gives it a decent effort, but the polish isn’t there; meanwhile Bouboo is still in champion mode, and I was kind of surprised this was a split vote and went to another round. Xiao Jie absolutely surprised me, coming back stronger on his second try, although I suppose a more familiar genre helped, but Bouboo continues in champion mode. Round four, Chao looks like he’s going to throw up right before he steps out there, and then as soon as the music starts, it’s like, he doesn’t even think. The music just moves him. I feel like his dance vocabulary is more limited than Bouboo’s, though, and Bouboo’s flow is amazing at this point, so I feel like the judges just want to drag this out and see more dancing when we go to one more round. Strong effort all around, but yeah, round four and two towels to Team Yibo. I can’t really complain about that. I do feel like Yibo’s powerhouses have been holding back until now, though, and I’m not sure how I feel about THAT.

FOOTNOTE 2, aka TOWEL BATTLE TWO, Team Zhang vs. Team Wallace, 3V3 w/ captain: lol, Team Zhang really wants someone to pick the Sailor Moon song because they know Xiao Bao and his waacking will tear it up. Anyway, Team Zhang includes Lingo and Xiao Bao, who does not get his Sailor Moon song and continues to be hilarious in his disbelief about being chosen to participate in this battle, when he’s not looking almost as sick as Chao from Team Jackson before HIS performance. Team Wallace includes Su Lian Ya – and honestly, despite how I’m getting ready to bag on him for the entire rest of this battle recap, I like that Wallace put one of his female dancers up there for the battle - and some dude named Ba that they haven’t given us any footage of, up ‘til now, at least that I can remember and who I … don’t even know has been formally given a towel and sent on to the next round, yet? Oh wait, he must have, because there’s talk in the pause for choreography about somehow using the towels during the battle. Wallace relies on Su Lian Ya and Zhang Jiang Peng to choose Ba, and then Ba ends up choreographing a lot of the performance, at least from the edit we see. I continue to feel you may be in over your head, Wallace. This feeling … is not assuaged by your performance in the first round, which is fine, but not really up to the level of almost anyone whose name I’ve bolded so far in this entire recap. Also, using the towels was a cute idea, but it doesn’t translate well, and Team Wallace has a lot of wasted time throwing the towels around instead of actually. You know. Dancing. Lingo gets a credible solo during Team Zhang’s performance, and even though Xiao Bao is clearly lost during a good bit of his backup dancer duties, he manages not to throw up, which – given this team’s general skill level – should be enough to give them the first round, EXCEPT SOMEHOW Team Wallace gets the point from the judges, who then try to justify this inexplicable decision by saying Team Wallace had better interaction, I guess because of the hot mess with throwing the towels around, but adding that Team Zhang was more scattered, which what? More scattered than the hot mess with the towels? I’m not buying this. I can’t tell if they’re propping up Wallace or fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, but I’m having bad acid flashbacks to the many and varied ways dance show judges will try to gaslight you, telling you that things you just saw with your very own eyes did not actually happen when it’s right there! On camera! Visible, despite whatever edit bs you’re pulling! ANYWAY, they’re definitely managing to fuck with not only Lay Zhang’s head, but Xiao Bao’s, and Xiao Bao still doesn’t seem to have his choreography down, but they manage to pull it together enough to take the second round, which to be honest is kind of a muddled mess on everyone’s part. The only one who really stands out to me on this go’round is Su Lian Ya, but OK, Team Zhang might have had it slightly more together as a unit. And then, yeah, OK, I think they were fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, because we then find out that, holy shit, the song the show powers-that-be chose for the tie-breaking third round is that gd Sailor Moon song, and we can all see the writing on the wall. Poor Team Wallace is no match for Xiao Bao, who frankly, carries this entire round on his shoulders without breaking a sweat and barely needs any backup dancers to do it. There’s some ridiculously dramatic reveal of scoring, with the judges dragging out their decisions like this was any actual contest - I’m beginning to suspect that some of them grew up with Wallace Chung posters on their bedroom walls - but finally, round and towel to Team Zhang.

Cut to a little bit of Next Time On, and wow, the first two-and-a-half-hour episode is over, and we aren’t finished with the initial round yet. It’s gonna be Christmas before I make it halfway through this season.

[itsarealshitshow]

Stray Kids’ reaction to falling in love with a fan secretly

Requested by anon

Pairing: Stray Kids x reader

Warnings: None

Author: Admin Wiki 

Scenario: Each member has a secret fan account to keep up with their fans and to secretly interact with them. Eventually they make friends with a fan online who thinks they’re just another fan. However, now that the members have fallen in love with you, what will they do?

Bang Chan (Bang Chan or Bang Chris)

Chris already knew that stays knew about him having a secret twitter account. He started it as a way to stay connected with his fans and to see what they thought about recent comebacks or what concepts they want to see. But now he mainly uses it to talk to a special fan that captured his heart. You’d messaged him first wanting to become friends and mememates. At the beginning of the friendship, both of you agreed to keep your identities anonymous. However, it wasn’t too long before Chan was head over heels for you. 

To be honest his first reaction is just staring at a wall thinking about the situation he got himself into. It seems unreal that he’s fallen for a fan he’s never even seen or met in person. He’ll want to come clean about his feelings but because you guys are anonymous he thinks it’d be weird. Chan will slowly start hinting that you guys should video call or show each others photos of yourselves. Eventually when you reveal your face, he will too. 

He’s all like “let’s go on skype to see each other for the first time. It’ll make it special” and bam his face is on the screen. You were so confused and when it finally hit it was over for you. He’ll confess his feelings to you that same night and hopes that you like him too. 

i mean if chan appeared on my screen i’d piss myself and be so flustered. i would definitely say yes to him. y/n is always living the life i want ���� 

Lee Know (Lee Minho)

He’s literally only ever on his secret accounts once a month. He probably never remembers about them until Felix sends him something and is like hyung please look at this. However this one time, Minho noticed he had a DM from someone other than his members. This intrigued him and made him look at it. He quickly becomes more invested in the platform that his secret account is on. 

He’s literally only on that certain platform for you. He hasn’t seen your face but your personality and mannerisms definitely ensnared him. Which is also something his members quickly realized. Felix teases the hell out of him about the fact that he only ever checks the app to see if you sent him something. 

This also makes him realize that he likes you. Someone who he’s never seen, never met, never spoken to. It makes him question himself and his feelings for a little bit. bc to be honest with you guys talking to someone online is way different than talking to them in person. especially if you like them Without a doubt he tries to keep it secret from the members, but Chan figures it out way too fast. Chan being the absolute dad that he is, encourages Minho to confess to you. Chan’s encouraging works because Minho plans on confessing to you as soon as you know his real identity. 

Seo Changbin

He’s both the person who never goes on his secret account and the person who’s always on the app. It stays the same even when you guys start talking. He can be on it for a week straight or he won’t be on it for a month. But of course when he’s on it he’ll take the time to actually respond to your texts. You always text him theories that you’ve seen and funny memes that other stays have made. 

It’s before one of their comebacks when he’s writing songs that he realizes that he’s fallen for you. It’s something that helps inspire him during his slumps and that makes him happy to feel. He’ll keep it to himself for a long time but after his realization he’s definitely going to go on his secret account a lot more than usual. He won’t disappear for a month and will start to talk to you consistently. He can’t believe that he’s fallen for a fan. To him it seems like something that rarely happens and that he should appreciate. 

Huang Hyunjin

He definitely has like a tiktok or instagram account to see what the fans are up to. I feel like he’s really good at blending in with his account, not making it too obvious it’s him. Cause Felix or Jisung would accidentally confess their real identities. He’s the one who started to talk to you first, wondering how you felt about their recent comeback and what you think their next one would be. You’d send each other memes, crack videos and so much random shit. 

Eventually you’d be the one to ask if you could send each other photos of each other or maybe go on a video call because you’ve been talking for a while. You’re just curious and if he’s okay with it you want to see each other. He’ll send a photo of himself and be like ‘I don’t think you’ll believe that this is actually me’. So of course you’re like ‘Send a photo of yourself with Chan and the both of you with toothbrushes and teddy bears’. Something specific like that and he’s like 😐  girl I’ll just video call you. 

He already had a crush on you before seeing you, but after being on video call together he quickly realizes that he needs to tell you how he feels before someone else snatches you up. He doesn’t care that you’re a fan because in reality you’re just a regular person who idolizes him. A while after you guys started to video call more frequently and he’s certain you’re good and the one for him, he’ll confess his feelings.  

Han (Han Jisung)

He’s not as bad as Felix but seeing as they were literally born a day apart, they’re pretty much the same. He’s definitely got a secret twitter, instagram and tiktok. He’s on them as much as he can because they’re all really fun but we all know that he’s also writing songs and in the studio all the time. 

When he starts talking to you it’s both of you clowning stays. You’re all like “hii I know we haven’t talked before but I like the stuff you post so here’s something I think you’ll like.” AND NO CAP HE’S PROBABLY ALREADY FALLEN FOR YOU. You guys talk a lot after that and there’s multiple times where he’s revealed his identity and that you just sit there all confused. He’ll quickly be like “haha I’m joking.” 

Finally there’s a time where he suggests you two do a video call and you accept. But mans forgot that you’ve never seen each other and he answers your call both of you just sit and stare at the screen like 👁 👄 👁 . He’s “ahaha yeah um, hi. I’m Jisung, what’s your name.” He kinda panics about liking a fan but soon after that video call you two organize to meet. And when you finally visit him he’ll confess. 

Lee Felix (Lee Felix or Lee Yongbok)

Felix knows that we know he has a secret twitter and tiktok account. It’s so painfully obvious. Of course none of us have found it yet so maybe we’ve already unintentionally interacted with him. 

In not so new news, there’s a clown right here. When he first started his account he started talking to a select few people and quickly became friends with you. On multiple occasions he’s accidentally said things like ‘What did you think of my comeback?’ or ‘What do you think of my new hair colour?’ and send a photo of himself that hasn’t been posted yet. He quickly realizes his mistakes and covers them up by changing the sentence and posting the photo to the Stray Kids instagram. 

It takes him a long time to realize that he likes you. It’s Chan who makes him realize it by asking questions about you and seeing Felix’s reaction. Every single time Felix immediately smiles which makes Chan tell him that he should confess. This causes Felix to panic. You were a fan and he was the idol you adored. Would you be with him because you genuinely liked him? or just because he was an idol? 

He decides that he has to confess either way or else he might start drowning in his feelings. 

Kim Seungmin

He doesn’t seem like one of the members who has a secret stan account. Like Chan or Felix stole his phone and downloaded it so they could scroll on it if they didn’t have their phones. One day he gets a notification from one of the apps Chan and Felix downloaded onto his phone. Curious, he opens it and sees that it’s you sending a meme and are like “Your comments are super funny here’s a meme I think you’re gonna like.” Seugmin was like “Oh uh sorry it’s my friend who uses this account I’ll show it to him for you though.” Quickly though, Seungmin starts using the account for himself and starts to befriend you. 

It’s not until Felix accidentally looks at the texts you guys have been sending each other that he realizes just how he feels. He realizes after he gets mad at Felix and telling him it’s an invasion of privacy to just read these intimate texts. i mean it is but i’m more relaxed with people reading some of the texts that my friends and i have sent. He’ll want to confess to you pretty soon after that incident. To him it doesn’t matter if you’re a fan or not because he likes you for you. 

I.N. (Yang Jeongin)

He’s like Felix and Jisung. He’s on his secret account all the time but no one really notices because he doesn’t make references all the time. He loves being on his secret accounts and talking to fans secretly. It makes him feel closer to fans when comebacks are close. 

You direct messaged him first which is what made the friendship blossom. You two send each other memes of his members and of just random things, like shows you two watch. It takes Chan talking to Jeongin about you to make him realize how he feels about you. He gets super nervous about the fact that he likes you. This insecurity comes from the fact he feels like if he were to reveal his identity you’d like him because he’s an idol you like and not for him. He’s not going to want to confess anytime soon sadly because of his worries. 

[positively-penguin]

Random fantasy-royalty AU I thought of with close to no plot and little bits and pieces I just came up with:

- Kageyama, rather unexpectedly, is a Prince

- Tsukishima is the second prince

- Hinata is training to be a knight but lives with his family in the town

- Kageyama sneaks out of the palace and meets Hinata in town, accidentally and they get off to a famously bad start

- At this point of time, Kageyama is a prideful, self-centred prince who honestly only sneaked out of the palace because he was sick and tired of Tsukki and no longer wanted to see him

- Anyway, they bicker and argue and it somehow leads to a sword fight between the two

- Kageyama wins

- Just like in the original, there’s the whole “what have you been doing for the past three years?” Scene, as well as this scene where Hinata is losing but does this super quick attack where he quickly escapes Kageyama’s hold and picks up his sword after Kageyama had disarmed him and managed to attack him, then there’s also the thing where Hinata vows to defeat Kageyama one day

- But Kageyama does something and as a punishment, is sent on temporary banishment, essentially where he’s sent out on a diplomatic mission to accompany Sugawara and Daichi, Suga who is a diplomat and Daichi who is Suga’s bodyguard and also the person sent to keep him in line. This is for him to learn stuff from the two of them

- Tsukishima is also sent there as well, largely against his will

- Hinata was also brought along at Daichi’s request and assigned to chaperone Kageyama at all times

- That introduction goes as well as you can imagine (“you’re leaving me with a babysitter?!” “He’s... a bodyguard” “he can’t even defeat me!” “Fine he’s a babysitter, but you need it”)

- I’m going to go straight to the point and say that they eventually grow to get used to each other and they frequently wander around town of that other nation, there’s a ball scene and Hinata eventually gets Kageyama to be an essentially better person, yeah that roughly sums it up

- Then there’s Tsukki who meets Yamaguchi, a magician apprentice trying to figure out what type of magic he should specialise in

- Yams’s an apprentice under the official court mage (Shimada)

- To explain more of the “figure out which type of magic to specialise in”, every mage has a speciality and they find it relatively young. Most mages do and in here, magic is innate

- Yams’s magic appeared pretty late as compared to most other mages. His magic also flickered between what it could do and rather quickly and unreliably too. Most other mages’ magic worked best with a certain type of magic, like they just naturally better and more at ease with that type of magic and that ended up being their speciality. Yams didn’t have that

- But he wanted to help people with his magic (he tried. It didn’t exactly work very well and most instances of him “helping” ended up in more chaos)

- Shimada was called in to deal with a particularly disastrous result of Yams trying to help someone else with his magic which resulted in a large portion of this small town being overrun with mushrooms. Yams repeatedly apologised for causing so much trouble and sorta explained what happened, more apologising and Shimada well, reverses the damage.

- Yams sees it and starts to look up to him, wanting to do what he does. After a while, he decides to try writing in to Shimada asking if he could possibly teach him a bit of magic (I was originally going to write that Shimada offered to take him up as an apprentice but decided against it)

- Shimada remembers him and remembered how earnest he was and asks him to the palace and it sorta becomes an apprentice thing though Yams sometimes feels bad for “taking up the apprentice slot” since he’s only allowed to have one apprentice at one time but it works as more fuel to work even harder and prove himself “worthy”. He’s gained a better control over his magic under Shimada’s guidance though as usual, he’s incredibly hard working

- And as for how Tsukki meets Yams, well, Yams accidentally crashes into Tsukki and dumps wax and oil all over him (from candles) Tsukki acts incredibly Tsukki like with that face and Yams apologises a lot and lowkey pulls a Yachi with his overthinking and worrying that he’s going to be executed for dumping wax and oil on the prince of a kingdom they were settling diplomatic matters with

- Tsukki looks him up and down and asks “you’re a mage, aren’t you? Can’t you get rid of (gestures to his whole body)” cue yams freaking out and trying to tell him that he’d rather not be charged with accidental murder of a prince. And a somewhat explanation saying how bad he is with controlling his magic and how it can get out of hand. “I can tell, there are sparks on your hands” “ugh, screw me, just, stay here, or don’t, I’ll find you either way, take off your shirt, I will be back with some fresh clothes... or something. Just, stay here please. I am so so sorry!” And he runs off

- Tsukki ends up staying there. Yams rushes back and ends up herding Tsukki back to his room where he’s set up a warm bath and some fresh clothes and there’s more apologising. Then Yams runs off again once Tsukki’s in his room. I’m going somewhere with this, trust me

- Yams returns after a while with a slice of strawberry shortcake (side note, I love strawberry shortcakes too, ...great, I just made myself hungry) as an apology and Yams says that Hinata told him that he likes strawberry shortcakes and they end up talking a bit and sort of end up forming a sort of friendship and they start talking a bit more almost daily after they bump into each other at the library

- Tsukki sees how hardworking and how dedicated Yams is and slowly starts falling. Yams gets to know more about Tsukki and also starts falling. It’s... a little complicated, mutual pining, denial, all that stuff

That’s honestly all I’ve got so far and this has been sitting in my drafts for a bit and I am now way too emotionally invested in this AU too and I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be all that surprising if this pops up again too so yup

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Thin Ice Pt6 || Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Y/N gets some advice from a friendly face and decides she needs to make things right. 

Word Count: 3.8k

Author’s Note: I’ll be real, the reason this took so long was because of everything going on in the news about the virus. Hearing about so many people dying from the virus and other Asian Americans being attacked because of their race isn’t the best inspiration for writing about a romantic skiing trip. Nonetheless, I pulled myself together and finished this. Thank you for being patient and I want all of you guys to please stay safe and stay inside during these difficult times. 

Warning: None except a steamy kiss

Part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || to be continued 

You wanted nothing more than to just pack up all of your things and fly back to Queens to escape all this drama. It was exhausting fighting and yelling at someone you cared about but you couldn’t help yourself. You had never been that upset before and you hated the feeling.

As much as you wanted to go back home, deep down you knew that you wanted to stay. You had been saving up for this trip since you even joined the team and just because you went back to New York didn’t mean your troubles wouldn’t follow you days later when Brad and Peter came back. 

You just needed to clear your head and at the time, the best place to do it was to go to Edgewater Cafe. The same hot cocoa spot you had taken Peter when you both proposed a friendship. 

Even though it was just a few days ago, you felt like so much had happened in that short time span. 

After you picked up your drink, you gazed over at the same couch Peter and you had sat just days prior. 

You knew you could’ve sat anywhere else since there was so much attached to it but then you thought at the end of the day, it’s just a couch. If you wanted to try and move on from feeling mad, you needed to get over yourself. 

You sat down on the side you were on previously and shifted awkwardly in your seat. 

Now that time had passed, you thought heavily on what had just happened, even though you promised you would think about anything else. 

You knew Peter was only trying to help but that didn’t stop you from being angry at him. While Brad definitely deserved that punch, it still felt wrong coming from somebody else. 

It was the same effect of it being okay when you and your brother called each other names but if anyone else did it, you would throw hands. You didn’t condone violence and you regret fighting Brad but at the same time, he did a shitty thing. 

Just because you two were friends for as long as you could remember doesn’t mean you can just easily forgive him and forget the kiss never happened. 

“ Penny for your thoughts?” 

You looked up and out of all the people you thought would come up to you, you never expected it to be him. 

“ Mr. Harrington? I didn’t think I would see you here.” You said as he sat down across from you in a leather chair that was double his size. 

You were close with most of your teachers but Mr. Harrington was always an oddball. Besides sharing the same fear of getting killed by your doppelgangers and a love for science, you two had nothing else in common. 

“ I needed some peace and quiet. Believe it or not I just ran into my ex-wife…..you know, the one-”

“ That pretended to blip, yeah,” You said awkwardly as Mr. Harrington looked out the window, completely zoned out,” are you uh, okay?”

He nodded but he didn’t even look at you,” Love isn’t what it’s cracked out to be kiddo. One day, you’re walking down the aisle to a cover of Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream and the next, your wife leaves you for her hiking instructor.” 

You looked at him and until this moment,  you had never truly felt pity for a person. As awkward as the conversation was, you felt obligated to stay. 

“ I want to suffer so that I may love,” You quoted as he finally turned to you,” Dostoevsky. It takes time to learn how to love and how to get over it….plus she sounded like a real bitc- jerk.” 

“ Dostoevsky doesn’t live during a time where Tindr exists,” Mr. Harrington said plainly as you shifted awkwardly in your seat,” enjoy being young and in love. Make mistakes now so that way you don’t make those same mistakes when you’re older.” 

You thought back to Peter and sure, you weren’t madly in love with him but he made you happy. You knew relationships were hard, you weren’t that naive. At the same time, you thought that maybe you and Peter were the exception. 

You couldn’t be with someone who didn’t trust you or your feelings and Peter was one of those people. If it was already rocky now, why would you assume it would get better? 

Because you really like him. 

You cleared your throat before tapping your fingers against your cup,” Even if a certain mistake ruins everything?” 

Mr. Harrington almost snapped out of his daze and turned to you, laughing,” Okay, is someone going to die?” 

You hesitated as you thought about Peter knocking out Brad cold but shook your head,” I might lose one of my best friends that I really care about because of something I really want but the thing that I want could either ruin everything or be the right choice.” 

“ If they were really your friend, they would want you to be happy,” Mr. Harrington said as if it was obvious,” and if you were really their friend, you both wouldn’t let a stupid fight get in the way.” 

“ But what if the friend really messed up? Like they did something to break your trust in them and it would change everything?” You countered as Mr. Harrington took a sip of his drink, chuckling. 

“ Then don’t be friends with them. Forget that they ever existed.”

“ But I still want to be friends with them!” 

Mr. Harrington nodded and pointed towards you as if a lightbulb shined above his head,” There it is! I offered you a choice and you decided against it so when I offered you an alternative choice that contradicts the first, you still decided against it. It doesn’t have to be one or the other, have both. You clearly still want to be friends with this said person but you just need to build up that trust again, right?” 

You leaned back into the couch and looked at your drink as you thought about your relationship with Brad. 

Mr. Harrington was right, you didn’t want to get rid of Brad but it would take time to make things work. You nodded as Mr. Harrington gave a small smile. 

“ Again, you’re young and you’ll make mistakes that’s what life is all about. As long as this choice doesn’t kill you or kill others, everything will work itself out.” 

“ Thanks, Mr. Harrington, I think I know what I need to do now,” You said as you gathered your things and stood up,” also, you should ask out Ms. Fletcher when we get back. She’s been wanting to talk to you since you two chaperoned homecoming together.” 

You didn’t wait to see his reason but as walked past him, you felt him stand up straighter, almost happier. 

You opened the door and made your way back to the hotel when you saw Brad standing in the middle of the path. He held a small blue shopping bag at his side and his other hand was stuffed into his pocket. 

You felt your breath hitch inside your throat as the two of you locked eyes but you decided to walk over to him. He walked a few steps towards you before stopping in front of you. 

His nose was covered in a large bandage but for the most part, he looked like he didn’t have any other injuries. 

“ Is it broken?” You asked after a moment as Brad shook his head. 

“ No, it’s just bruised. Between your busted lip and my purple nose, our moms are going to freak out huh?” Brad said lightheartedly as you let out a puff of air. 

You moved your hand to your bottom lip and ran a quick finger over it before looking back up to Brad. 

You weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him but he took a deep breath and beat you to it. 

“ I’m sorry for everything Y/N. I know I’m an asshole for kissing you and I’m a bigger asshole for accidentally sending it to everyone,” Brad sighed as he stepped out of the way for a family carrying skies,” I only meant to send it to Peter but that still wasn’t right.”

“ Why did you even do it in the first place?” You asked as the two of you stepped to the side and sat on an empty bench a few yards from the hotel entrance. 

Brad put the shopping bag to the side and shook his head,” I was being protective. I saw how MJ and Peter broke up and how messy things got and sure, they’re fine now but I don’t want you to get hurt. I guess I just wanted you to myself.” 

MJ and Peter had dated briefly for a couple of months but as quickly as it started, it had ended just before school had begun. She hardly ever talked about it but according to Ned, they were both completely over each other. 

“ Oh come on Brad. We’ve been friends since we were in diapers, do you really think I would forget about you just like that?” You asked as you crossed your legs and turned to face him,” I’m turning eighteen this year and that means I’m old enough to make my own decisions without you getting insecure. Do you think I’m going to jump off a cliff just because some dude breaks my heart?” 

“ You get emotionally invested in things-”

“ Because I care!” You shouted as you drew in a few onlookers,” aren’t you supposed to be emotionally invested in a relationship- do you even realize your reasoning? That doesn’t make me weak Brad.”

“ I never said it did,” Brad sighed as he fixed his beanie,” I know it sounds super toxic or whatever but I really was just trying to protect you. I’m sorry for kissing you and sending the picture and fighting with Peter. I take full responsibility for everything, especially getting socked in the face cause I definitely deserved that. I just want you to be happy and I’ll do anything for you to forgive me.”

You and Brad had been friends for years and yet, as sad as it was to admit, this was the first time he ever took responsibility for his actions. 

Do you forgive him? Not completely especially since the damage was already done but you weren’t as angry as you were from the start.

Was it the best apology in the world? Of course not but it was a start and you believed in second chances. 

“ You’re lucky I’m such a good friend...of course I forgive you,” You said as Brad’s face lit up,” but one two conditions. You have to forever buy pizza on movie nights and you need to apologize to Peter.” 

Brad smiled sweetly and handed the small shopping bag over to you,” This will cover the pizza for sure.”

You raised your eyebrow at him before turning over to the shopping bag. You reached in and pulled out the pair of special edition Olympic goggles you were admiring on the second day of the trip. 

“ Shut the fuck up, are you serious!” You shrieked as you held them up to show him,” these were the ones I was looking at, remember? Wait- I can’t take this, it's so expensive like movie theatre snack expensive.” 

You put the goggles back into the bag and gave it back to Brad but he pushed it back to you,” No returns nerd. Guess you gotta keep it huh?” 

You clutched the shopping bag close to your chest,” I can’t believe you got this for me...I guess I don’t hate you that much but you still have to apologize to Peter.”

Brad leaned back in his seat and sighed,” I did once I was conscious. He said he forgave me and we actually had a long talk about the whole thing but something is still bothering him. Maybe you should talk to him.” 

You bit the bottom of your lip and nodded. You knew your conversation wouldn’t be as easy as it was with Brad but it had to be done. 

“ Do you think he’s mad at me?” 

Brad exhaled and shrugged,” I guess you gotta find out.” 

                                              --------------------

After you showered, you decided to go to Peter’s room to try and talk to him since he didn’t show up for lunch and dinner. Ned lied and said Peter caught a stomach bug but you knew he was just avoiding you. 

Peter needed time to himself to think and you wanted to give him space but at the same time, you wanted to resolve everything between the two of you. 

You knocked against the door to the boys room again and waited patiently since it was already so late. You heard someone get off of the bed and their footsteps got louder as they approached the door. 

“ Y/N? What are you doing here?” Ned asked as he opened the door.

You shifted awkwardly and tried to peep around him,” Is Peter here? I wanted to just say hi.” 

Ned gave a quick glance behind him before shaking his head,” He’s showering.”

Before you could respond, the bathroom door swung open and out stepped Brad with a towel around his waist. 

“ Hey Y/N, whatcha need?” Brad asked as he used another smaller towel to dry his hair. 

You dropped your gaze to Ned and raised your eyebrows,” Really Ned?” 

You looked back up to Brad and leaned your side against the doorframe,” Hey Brad, by any chance is Peter in there with you?” 

Brad laughed and turned back to the bathroom, shaking his head,” I would hope not. I thought he said he was going to the jacuzzi for a bit?” 

You hummed as you looked back to Ned who was avoiding your eye contact,” Thanks for your help.”

You turned away but Brad called after you. You turned around as a ball of heavy fabric hit you in the face. 

“ It’s cold, put that on,” Brad said before closing the door on you. 

You huffed under your breath but put the robe on anyway since you knew it would be freezing outside. 

You went down the elevator and tapped your fingers against the side of your thigh nervously. You made it pretty clear to Peter that you didn’t need him but that was because you were in the heat of the moment. 

You got out of the elevator and headed toward the back courtyard where the hot tubs were. You stopped at the double doors and took a peek outside and sure enough, Peter was in the farthest hot tub with his head rested all the way back. 

You took in a deep breath and opened the door slowly, still thinking about how you should approach it. 

The frigid air flew past you and up your legs as you wrapped the robe tighter around your body. 

You could act totally chill and see what he says first so he can have the upper hand or you could just suck it up and own up to your mistake. 

A part of you made you second guess yourself. 

Obviously he was avoiding you if he had Ned lie to your face and in hindsight, maybe bombarding Peter wasn’t the right thing to do. If Peter needed hours to think things over with you, it only meant things weren’t going to work out. 

Before you could step back and walk away, Peter lifted his head up and made eye contact with you. 

“ Y/N? Hey! What are you doing out here?” Peter asked as he sat up from his spot. 

Fuck. 

You let go of the door but it hit you in your side awkwardly as it shut behind you. You couldn’t just leave now that he saw you so you gave a small wave as you waddled across the patio towards him. 

“ I was just gonna try out the hot tub,” You lied awkwardly as you stood in front of Peter as you tried to keep your eyes off his bare chest” cause it’s uh hot.”

Peter looked you up and down and gave a small unsure smile,” Okay, get in then. There’s enough room for both of us.”

You looked down at your striped pajama shorts and your robotics club tank top as you let out a nervous laugh. You didn’t think he would call your bluff but nonetheless, you decided to play along. 

You took off Brad’s robe and folded it to the side before slowly submerging yourself in the hot tub, fully clothed. 

No matter how warm the water felt, the feeling of wearing clothes in the hot tub felt like it should be against the law. 

Peter sat up straighter as you sat across from him with your knees touching his. He never thought you would actually get in but now that you were, the inside of his mouth began to feel dry. 

“ Y/N, w-what are you actually doing here?” Peter asked again as you bit the inside of your cheek. 

Now that he was right in front of you, you didn’t know the right words to say without embarrassing yourself any further. 

“ I wanted to say sorry about earlier, I know I said some pretty mean stuff that I didn’t mean at all,” You looked at Peter as he kept his gaze on you,” I know you were just looking out for me and I was being stupid. I would’ve apologized sooner but you kinda were avoiding me.”

Peter watched your face for a moment before turning his attention to the bubbling water. He knew you were right, he was too scared to have this conversation with you only because he was afraid of how it would end. 

He needed time to think about everything. With Liz, there were problems with her dad and with MJ, it was stupid fights yet with you, there was just more drama like Brad that he wasn’t ready for. 

Any second now, he thought you would tell him that you really did have feelings for Brad and that it was nothing personal. He was used to it at this point; always being someone’s second choice and never the first. 

“I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn’t have punched him in the face and I shouldn’t have said that I didn’t trust you, I’m sorry,” Peter sighed as he rubbed his face with his hands,” but you and Brad have so much history Y/N I can’t compete with him.”

“ I’m not asking you to compete, Peter- there is no competition. How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t have feelings for him? I like you and only you but if you don’t believe me then what else am I supposed to do?” You asked in a frustrated tone as you tried to keep yourself together.

Peter looked back up at you sadly before taking a breath,” I don’t know! I don’t know...I just really like you Y/N. You know, I’ve liked you ever since senior year started. It was the day in BioChem when I forgot my project and it was worth 60% of our class grade. We weren’t even friends at the time and yet, you made a smoke bomb from the leftover lab and the whole school had to be evacuated just because of me.”

You shook your head from embarrassment,” Brad and Tao had an asthma attack so that’s nothing to be proud of….but I could tell that you were about to cry and I wasn’t going to let the smartest guy in the class fail over a stupid mistake.”

Peter opened his mouth but nothing came out of his mouth. You caught this and titled your head to the side,” What is it?” 

Peter cleared his throat,” When did you know that you liked me?” 

You shifted in your spot as you tried to remember. In all honesty, you admitted to yourself that you had liked Peter after Brad had kissed you but maybe that wasn’t the best thing to tell Peter. 

“ I think this trip really made me see you differently. I always thought you were really sweet and cute but I guess it wasn’t until we were on the ski lift that I really saw myself being with you. I mean, I told you about my brother and I haven’t told anyone about that, not even Brad. I just instantly trusted you,” You said truthfully,” do you trust me?”

Peter’s heart was beating a million times per second. He trusted you about everything you said about Brad and how the kiss meant nothing yet he didn’t understand why he was still so nervous. 

Deep down, Peter knew that he didn’t trust himself. One way or another, it always felt like any relationship he was in was ruined because of his mistakes. 

“ I trust you and of course, I want to be with you but If I’m being honest, I’m scared we’re moving too fast. I don’t want us to break up over something stupid-”

“Peter, I’m not saying we have to jump into a relationship at this very second,” You interrupted,” and yeah I agree, I’ve never been so quick to find myself falling for a guy but there’s nothing wrong with slowing this down. All I know is that I like you and I want to see where this goes if you’re up for it.”

Peter could feel how flushed his face was and his chest felt heavy. He had pined over you for months and from what you were saying, it was music to his ears. 

His heart pounded in his throat as he nodded before reaching over to grab your hand. He gently pulled you across the water into his arms as you naturally straddled him. 

“ I thought we were taking things slow,” You said softly as Peter tucked away a stand of your hair behind your ear. 

You could feel how nervous the two of you were in this moment as if it was a chess game. Who would make the first move and what would the other person do. 

This gave Peter time to catch his own breath because even he caught himself off guard. His hands lingered on the side of your hips as you shifted ever so slightly. 

“ We are,” Peter finally said before leaning in slowly to brush his lips against yours. He only meant to test the waters but for him, one-touch and it was over. 

He pulled you in closer as he pressed his lips against yours but harder. You moved your hand to the back of his neck and deepened the kiss, both of your lips moving in perfect sync. 

The movies could never do the kiss justice; there was no fireworks or sparks, but pure warmth. It filled Peter up and spilled out of his heart and through every inch of his body like a drug and he was addicted.

As much as you didn’t want to, you pulled away after a moment to catch your breath. Peter looked back up at you almost offended but he had realized he had been holding his breath the entire time. 

“ You know, for someone who wants to take things slow, you really like to go fast,” You teased as Peter rubbed his fingers against the small of your back. 

“ I’m sorry,” Peter bit the bottom of his lip as he took in the moment of you so close to him,” I just couldn’t help myself.”

@spaghetittiesbcimgay​ @holland-in-disguise​ @yeahimcrying​ @greatpizzascissorstaco​  @mysticalbanshee​ @weyheyavengers​ @infinityflamesworld​ @fandom-fangirl22​ @peterparkoure​ @crumpets-are-better-with-jam​ @marvel4geeks​ @sad-sagita​ @juliebean247​ @quitepointless​  @bannanasz​ @spideyyeet​ @cherrysruin​ @illwritetomorrow​  selintugmen  potter-head-phanatic @ justrepostandlove  @melrosaeparker​  @drunklili​ 

[thelastspeecher]

Stanuary ‘21 - Week Three: Crime

I decided to go with one of my favorite AUs, my Superhero/villain AU, and write a scene that I should have written a while ago, to be honest.  Namely, Ford convincing Stan to give up a life of crime and become a hero like he always wanted.

Shout-out to the ficlet “Farmer’s Market”, by @mythomagically-delicious, which takes place in an AU of the Superhero/villain AU.  I drew some heavy inspiration from it.  ;)

Enjoy.

———————————————————————————————————–

              Stan made a mad dash for safety.  He ducked into an alley just before the police following him rounded the corner and crouched behind a dumpster.

              “Think he went in there?” one of the cops asked, nodding at the alley Stan was hiding in.

              Shit!  Stan took a deep breath, trying to steady his breath.  No, stay calm, Stan.  It’s fine. You have a backup plan, remember? As if on cue, said backup plan went into effect.  There was a loud bang in the distance.  Stan didn’t want to look and risk being spotted, but he knew from experience that his distraction was producing enormous plumes of ash-colored smoke.

              “He’s a pyro, that’s gotta be him!” the other cop said.  The two rushed off towards the planted smoke bomb and away from Stan.  Still, Stan waited a few minutes to be sure.  Once he was positive the coast was clear, he emerged from his hiding spot.

              “Damn,” he breathed.  His smoke bomb was still billowing, filling the sky with gray.  “I mighta souped that one up a bit more than I needed to.”

              Not long ago, Stan had discovered he could use his pyrokinesis to enhance the effects of smoke bombs.  That discovery led to him learning how to make his own. Unfortunately, the method he’d used to improve store-bought smoke bombs didn’t work for his homemade ones, so he had to develop a new one.  All in all, he’d invested a lot more time than he’d care to admit into his smoke bomb research.

              At least it’s paying off now.  The smoke bomb showed no sign of slowing down.  Damn, I might have accidentally caused more smoke damage than fire damage.  Stan shook his head, dispelling those thoughts.  Get back to your car, get outta dodge before the cops come back and get a look at your face.  Stan trudged out of the alley.  He seamlessly joined the crowds that had gathered to stare at his latest disturbance.

              As he mingled with the rubberneckers, Stan’s ears picked up on a nearby conversation that, for some reason, stood out more than the background muttering.

              “What could cause that amount of smoke?”

              “A fire.”

              “Well, yes, but they put out the fire already! And the smoke isn’t coming from where the fire was.”

              “My lil brother used to prank our older brother with smoke bombs…”

              “Could a smoke bomb be responsible for this?”

              “Only if there’s a pyro behind it.”

              Stan ducked his head and picked up his pace, hoping to get far away from the two men and their eerily accurate discussion.  He quickly arrived at the Stanleymobile and got in.  But not until the town had faded into the distance, did he allow himself to relax.

              Okay.  Back to the drawing board.  Can’t use a smoke bomb that attracts that much attention.

-----

              Stan finally straightened his back, stretching to dispel the kinks that came from hunching over a desk for hours on end. He was back in his crappy motel room, trying to do something about his overeager smoke bombs.  So far, he hadn’t had much luck.

              The news blared on the TV.  After a lot of trial and error, Stan had found that the news was just loud enough to provide background sound, but just boring enough to avoid being a distraction.

              “In another blow to peace in the Middle East-” the newswoman began.  Stan grabbed the remote.

              “Nope,” he said, turning off the TV.  He stood and stretched.  “I’ve got my own problems, lady, I don’t need to hear about other peoples’.”  His stomach rumbled.

              …I could use a snack.  Just as Stan was heading for the place he’d stashed his bags of chips, he felt a tingling sensation akin to feet falling asleep spread throughout his body, starting at his toes and gradually reaching his head. Though it felt familiar, it took him a moment to place it.  He blinked, and he wasn’t in the motel room anymore.  But the dorm room he was in now looked just as bad.

              “Oh, thank goodness, you’re not nude,” said the man standing in front of Stan.  “It’s been some time since I summoned a person, and I was worried I might accidentally leave your clothes behind.”  Stan crossed his arms.  He raised an eyebrow.

              “You say ‘thank goodness’ now, Ford?” he asked dryly.  Ford looked away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

              “I might have picked it up from my roommate.”

              “Good for you.  Now, tell me where the hell I am so that I can go back to where I was,” Stan said.  Ford blinked.

              “You’re not curious as to why I summoned you after all this time?”

              “Nope.”

              “Why not?”

              “Look, Sixer, if you wanted a nice, brotherly chat, you would’ve summoned me back when Pops first kicked me out,” Stan snapped. He fought down the small amount of happiness he felt at seeing his twin again.  “But it’s been years.  Which means either someone’s dead or you want something from me.  And whichever one it is, I don’t care.”  Stan turned on his heel and stormed for the door.  As he put his hand on the doorknob, Ford spoke.

              “I know,” Ford said softly.  “You don’t care about me, about yourself, or anyone else.” Stan paused.

              “Why do you think I don’t care about myself?” he asked.

              “Because you’ve given up.”  Ford interpreted Stan’s continued silence as permission to continue.  “You’ve given up on the thing that gave you drive our entire lives.”

              “What?”

              “Being a hero,” Ford said simply.  Stan’s hand fell away from the door.  His heart pounded in his ears.  “I saw your latest arson on the news.  Actually, I saw it in person.  My roommate and I were shopping in the store next to the one you set on fire.” Stan looked over his shoulder.

              “You’re not gonna snitch on me, are you?” he asked.

              “No.”

              “Good.”  Stan fully turned around.  He let his hands burst into flames.  “It wouldn’t end well for you if you did.”  Ford didn’t react to the threat.  At least, not in the way Stan expected.  Rather than blowing up at him or scoffing, Ford just stared at Stan, evidently sorrowful.

              “Have you really gone that far astray?” Ford asked. Stan’s mouth went dry.  “Would you hurt your own twin?”

              “Where’s all this coming from, huh?” Stan demanded. “What, I set a building on fire and suddenly you’re worried about me?  After spending all this time pissed at me?”  He threw his hands, still aflame, up in the air.  “That was the secret all along!  I shoulda committed a crime in front of you years ago!” That got the reaction Stan expected. Ford’s worried frown twisted into a snarl.

              “I despise what you did to me, but that doesn’t mean I’ll allow you to throw your life away!” Ford snapped.  “Ever since we were kids, you wanted to be a hero.  You worked hard to follow in Mom’s footsteps. But now?  You’re perfectly fine with burning down stores and setting off smoke bombs?”

              “Why do you care?!” Stan roared.

              “Because I’m the reason you’re letting all your potential go to waste!” Ford shouted.  Stan stared at him in shock, the fire around his hands finally smothered. Ford’s eyes widened.  He looked away.  Stan stepped forward.

              “What do you-”

              “You heard me,” Ford said tartly.  He looked down at his feet.  “I- I hate what you did to me.  But I can’t deny my role in your current situation.”  Stan opened his mouth.  “And the reason why I summoned you now…”  Ford took a steadying breath.  “I started feeling guilty the moment Mom kicked out Pops for what he did. But I’ve been able to stifle that guilt under anger.”

              “Until today.”

              “Until today,” Ford repeated.  He took another breath.  “When I realized you had committed that arson, I knew you had given up on your dream of being a hero, and I couldn’t ignore the guilt any longer.”

              “Why?”

              “Honestly?”  Ford looked up at Stan.  He managed a weak smile.  “Because you’d be a damn good superhero, Stanley.  You could do so much, help so many people, save lives!  And that’s been your goal since we were children.”

              “Because I could help other people.”

              “Because it’s what you were meant to do.  Mom saw that in you, even before your powers manifested.  I saw that in you.  Hell, Pops saw it in you, too.”  Stan raised an eyebrow doubtfully.  “He saw it in you,” Ford insisted.  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “He just didn’t care about supers.”

              “You’re right about that,” Stan said.  He cleared his throat.  “And you might be right about the other things, too.”  Ford perked up.  “Everything’s not suddenly hunky-dory, just so you know.”

              “I know.  I have negative feelings towards you that have yet to be resolved.”

              “Yeah.  Same for me, but in a less nerdy way,” Stan said.  Ford rolled his eyes.  “But…” Stan trailed off.  He sighed.  “I turned to a life of crime ‘cause I didn’t have a choice.  But I never felt that great about it.”  A faint smile quirked the corners of Stan’s mouth.  “Call it Mom’s influence.  I couldn’t quite shake the feeling I was meant to follow in her footsteps.”

              “Of course not.  You were meant to become a hero,” Ford said.  Stan’s smile grew stronger.  “We both have issues to work out, between the two of us, but I don’t want you to give up on your destiny.”  Stan let out a bark of laughter.

              “Destiny, huh?”  He grinned at Ford.  “Well, when you say it like that, I can’t really say you’re wrong, can I?” Ford smiled back.

              “So you’ll give up crime?”

              “Yeah.”  Stan cocked his head thoughtfully.  “Not until after I fill up the Stanleymobile one more time, though.  She’s running low on gas.  Once that’s done, I’ll go back on the straight and narrow.  Just gotta figure out how to join the Defenders or whatever.”

              “There’s a newer team on the West Coast that I think you have a better chance at joining,” Ford said.  Stan shoved his hands into his pockets.

              “I’ll look into ‘em.”  Ford nodded in relief.  “Oh, by the way, remember our deal?”

              “Deal?”

              “Every time you summon me without warning, you owe me food,” Stan said.

              “Wh- we made that agreement when we were children!”

              “And I’m holding you to it,” Stan said.  “I’m guessing you brought me back into town when you summoned me?”

              “Yes.”

              “My motel isn’t too far away, so I’ll be back at 6 for dinner.”  Ford sighed.

              “Very well.”

              “See you then.”  Stan opened the dorm room door and strolled out, whistling.  As he walked out, Ford’s roommate Fiddleford walked in.  Fiddleford looked curiously at Ford.

              “Ya had a visitor while I was out?”

              “Yes.”

              “Was it a good visit?”

              “Yes.  It was.”

              “That’s nice.”  Fiddleford walked over to his bed and set his bag down.  “I found what I wanted at the library.”

              “What were you looking for, again?”

              “Blueprints.”

              “For?” Ford pried.  A devious twinkle appeared in Fiddleford’s eyes.

              “Haywood Hall.”

              “The building that all our school records are kept in?”

              “Yessir!” Fiddleford chirped.  He began to dig around in his bag.  “Surprisingly easy to get.”

              “I’m shocked that they even allowed you to check them out of the library,” Ford said.  Fiddleford hummed noncommittally.  Ford’s eyes widened.

              Wait, Stan doesn’t have the Stanleymobile.  How is he going to get back to his motel? Ford closed his eyes and focused. A surge of power flowed through him. There was a shout from outside.

              “What the fuck?!”  Ford walked over to the window and looked out.  Stan stood in the parking lot, staring at his red El Diablo. He looked up at the dorm.  After a moment, he lifted his middle finger.

              Ford snickered.

[cyndalyssa]

Oh, Look, Another Darkwing Drabble

This one’s a snippet of a bigger story in my head, based on the idea of Bushroot going massive mindless monstrosity. 

I dunno if I’ll ever write the rest of the story down, my life tends to get a little busy and I already have a lot of ideas I want to make in my free time, but I at least wanted to exercise the writing muscles. 

All was quiet at the Museum of Failed Experiments. The dark of night gave the appearance of rest to each polished display, even those that were still lit. Though dignified it looked, the place was home to quite a bit of failure, hence the name. Each wing, covering branches of science and engineering, was a hall of shame, showing off embarrassments, tragedies, and unfinished projects to the citizens of St. Canard.

It was at this scene that the night guards present had unfortunate encounters. A flower that sprayed sleeping gas, a stun gun, a joy buzzer that ended in instant knockout, being washed into a closet by water from the drinking fountain, and just getting hit by a mallet were their fates, and they were swiftly locked up by the intruders.  

The Fearsome Five then had the place to themselves. 

As they met up in the lobby, Megavolt couldn’t help but look up, in awe of the enormity of it. “Wowza, they really went all out on this place!” He glanced back at the corridor from whence he came and smiled. “They’ve got gizmos and gadgets aplenty!”

Quackerjack bounced to his side. “And whozits and whatzits galore!”

“They got thingamabobs?”

“Psht, at least twenty!”

Megavolt laughed. “I can’t believe they gave up on some of these! I oughta grab ‘em and show everyone how it’s done!” 

Quackerjack grinned. “Oh, I feel you, Sparky! In fact, I’m getting quite a bit of inspiration myself from doodads like the fruit-flavored fireworks! Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo, can you just imagine a literal explosion of fruity goodness?”

Megavolt narrowed his eyes, his plug hat sparking and an irritated growl in his voice. “How many times have I told you not to call me Sparky?”

“Not like you can remember.”

Cutting between them, the Liquidator piped in, “Fruit-flavored fireworks? The phenomenon of the century, guaranteed to sweeten up your 4th of July celebrations! Comes in apple, cherry, grape, and blue raspberry.”

Bushroot scratched his head. “I’m just wondering how the inventor expected that to work. What kind of chemistry was involved?”

Negaduck rolled his eyes. “Blegh, of course you dweebs get hopped up on exploding fruit snacks. Now remember, children, we’re not here for the fireworks, we’re here for the portal gun that’s supposed to be displayed here… and I expect you to be looking for it!” 

The other four silently stared at him for a moment, glanced at each other, and then back to him. Then, Megavolt asked, “Well, what does it look like?”

“It’s red and vaguely gun-shaped, with a spinny thing at the end,” Negaduck answered in baby-talk. Then he snapped, “I’m sure you could figure it out from the display name! Now, get to searching!”

Negaduck stormed upstairs. Quackerjack and Megavolt rushed to the technology wing--partially running from Negaduck, partially rushing to see what kind of doodads they could see. Perhaps even take some and modify them for later mischief. 

Liquidator was about to flow down another hall when he noticed Bushroot at the directory. The plant duck glanced the direction of the hall that Quackerjack and Megavolt rushed down, and then up the stairs that Negaduck had descended. Then, almost sneakily, he went in the opposite direction and toward the natural science and chemistry wing. 

Curious, Liquidator decided to follow him, and had caught up in a second. “One in ten customers would say that this portal gun is not in this wing, Bushroot.”

Bushroot flinched at the sudden voice, but quickly regained his composure. “Well, uh… when studying the map earlier, I recall that the storage room was somewhere in this direction. It could be in there.”

Liquidator raised a watery eyebrow. “You want an excuse to look around, huh?”

Bushroot glanced away. “Well… it couldn’t hurt. I mean, I’m curious and I don’t know when I’ll be able to have another opportunity for a museum visit.” He looked back to see Liquidator still staring like a disappointed parent. “But I do think storage is in this wing, honest!”

“Hm. Well, if it’s in this direction, why not treat yourself to this once-in-a-lifetime super private tour? Just don’t get too distracted, and it’ll be between you and me.”

“O-oh, that’s no problem. I’m a pretty fast reader.”

The two mutants wandered around the natural science and chemistry wing, looking for a door or hall or basement staircase that led to that storage room. However, Liquidator was doing most of the looking, sweeping around the rooms quickly, while Bushroot, though still looking at the walls in hopes of spotting the passage they were looking for, was circling displays in fascination. There were models and pictures of odd creatures or monstrosities, as well as deformed skeletons of unfortunate souls. He read about attempts to clone prehistoric plants and even animals, a tale of a man who accidentally fused himself with a fly, and the horror of radioactive moss. On occasion, he’d stumble on a display involving water, and invite Likki to take a look. 

Every so often, Liquidator would look to see what Bushroot was doing. There were moments that Bushroot seemed to be genuinely looking for that storage room--such as now, when walking along the wall of glass cases full of more experiments, he paused at a gap in the wall, looking at a door, but saw that it was an emergency exit and then moved on. Otherwise, the plant duck was more invested in the science that surrounded him, which Likki had a little trouble relating to. While some of the stuff involving water was interesting, he otherwise didn’t care for the biological stuff that Bushroot was so entranced by. 

Meanwhile, so far, the only doors they had found were emergency exits, but nothing leading to any storage or basement at some point. Liquidator was almost of the mind that Bushroot duped him, but Bushy wasn’t like that.

At some point, when Liquidator finally found a hallway that looked promising, Bushroot suddenly cried, “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!”

Alarmed, Likki splashed his way to where Bushroot stood, at a display in the corner about biological chemical disasters. The plant duck was looking quite offended, glaring at one particular shelf where a green substance, surrounded by plant models and photos of a strange machine, sat. Likki took a closer look at the label, which read:

Chloroplast Infusion Solution, Dr. Reginald Bushroot, Ph.D

Skimming over the description of the substance, what it was supposed to do, and how it backfired, Likki just glanced over to Bushroot, who held his head in his leafy hands. 

“How humiliating! I can’t believe I made it into the Hall of Shame!”

Likki patted him on the back. “Aw, Bushy, do not fret! After all, you’ve gotten an upgrade! Who needs a normal sad sap scientist when you can have a super plant that can grow a forest with just a thought?” 

A sharp glare arose from Bushroot’s palms. “I just wanted to alleviate world hunger… and, uh, maybe get a little respect…”

“Respect, huh?” Likki shook his head. “I’m sure with your power, you can easily command it.”

“There is a difference between respect and fear.”

“Hm. Well, as Bud Flud, I was just a salesman trying to keep my business afloat; but as the Liquidator, I became master of all liquids, one with the water, and a force to be reckoned with!” A sphere of water detached from Likki’s hand and revolved around it. “I know my power, and I revel in it.” 

He grabbed the sphere, reabsorbing it. “As for you… well, you’ve got potential, but you lack nerve. Someday, I’d like to see you cut loose, show them what Bushroot is really capable of.”

Bushroot glanced at him, pondering on whether he should remind Liquidator of Negaduck and their shared fear of him, but decided against it. He crossed his arms. “Fine, whatever you say.”

He went back to glaring at the display of his fateful project. “If those two ignoramuses had just minded their own business and not made me look bad in front of the dean, then I would’ve still had the funding to test on the lab rats instead of myself. You know, catch the kinks and find a way to iron them out. But… here I am now.”

“I’d say that career change was for the better.”

“But I liked being a scientist… sure, I hated my coworkers--except one--but I love science.”

Likki shrugged. “Life sucks and we just gotta roll with the punches.” He turned around and marched toward that one hallway. “Now, come on, there’s a storage room calling our names, and who knows when the purple menace will pop in.”

Bushroot sighed, taking one last look at his experiment’s exhibit. “All right, I’ll stop wasting ti--”

He stopped when he caught a name on the display right next to his. Eyes boggling, he grabbed the bottle from that shelf and shouted, “Goodness grapevines! He has one here too?”

Likki stopped and turned around. “Inquiring minds must know… who’s he?” 

Bushroot gestured to the name on the display, which, when Likki took a closer look, read ‘Dr. Arthur Bones’. “He was my rival back in college, and he was one of the meanest, most condescending jerks that I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing. I don’t know what I ever did to him, but sometimes it felt like it was his life’s mission just to convince me that everything I do is stupid and dangerous. Hmph, at least my buddy Andrew had my back.”

Liquidator rubbed his chin. “You just have a way of attracting bullies, don’t you? At the very least, you can take some joy that Dr. Bones is also in the Hall of Shame!”

“Yeah, I guess I could.” Bushroot looked at the label on the bottle, brow furrowed in confusion. “Although I do wonder what he was doing making fertilizer. Last I remember, he was into genetics--especially studies on mutations and defects.”

“For more information, check the description--it’s right there.”

Bushroot turned to the description and read aloud, “‘In 1990, a miracle growth formula invented by Dr. Bones took several western states by storm. With a natural sweet scent and potent power, it improved the lives of gardeners everywhere by making plants healthier, stronger, and sturdier against disease and pests, and helping them to grow faster than normal’.” He scratched his chin and nodded. “Well, now I’m tempted to bring it home with me and see what my plants think.”

Liquidator chuckled. “Oh, I bet they’d love it! The amazing miracle fertilizer, guaranteed to create a happy and hearty garden!”

“Ee-hee, it does sound great.” Bushroot’s smile fell into a frown as he turned back to the description. “But this is a Museum of Failed Experiments, so there is a catch here... ‘While at first it seemed to be a blessing, it soon proved to be dangerous for people, as proven with the Mallard High School Football Team during the fall of 1990. Reports of--’”

“I am the terror that flaps in the night!”

The sudden voice from nowhere made them jump. Bushroot even ended up tossing the bottle of fertilizer into the air. He didn’t even hear the second part of the introduction, too distracted by gravity smashing the bottle onto his head. The glass shattered, and fertilizer splashed everywhere on him and the floor, leaving him a dripping mess. His roots started lapping up the puddle that remained. 

“I am… Darkwing Duck!”

[marksinn]

Passion Project: Inspiration

I don’t think I’m starting at the beginning with this post. Keep your eyes peeled for later posts that explain what I’m doing and why.

After a month of thinking about, sketching and painting designs, I have finally done something. Essentially, recently watching two films has pushed me into action, and a part of me is ashamed to admit it. There isn’t a word count or any typesetting to curtail my thoughts here, so strap in.

When I created this brief I figured I’d draw a million wee skateboards, colour a few of them in, then fling my favourites into Adobe illustrator and make them look good. From there I would take the 5 best up to the skatepark and ask some of the patrons there which designs stood out to them. Next, I would adapt the three front-runners and create sweet PhotoShop mockups that would show what my designs would look like as skateboards. If I had the time, inclination or money by the end of the project, I would have the design laid onto a real skateboard (I’ve been looking to buy a new one for some time) and then be proud of myself.

So I’ve drawn some wee skateboards. Then I started upscaling the designs onto the floorboards of my loft:

This was an exercise to let me see how small things need to be adapted to be blown up. Skateboards can have any level of detail that you like on them, I hadn’t considered this until I was trying to draw a semi-perfect triangle for the traffic cone, or until I was using chalk to recreate four cubes. It’s also been fun to work with different media on chipboard - I have learned that most kinds of pencil, paint, chalk and charcoal do not like being used on chipboard. Decorating paint, however, has no such issues. Thanks, Dulux!

And so, with a few of these under my belt, I decided to try some digital designs. So I jumped into Illustrator and totally ignored my sketchbook, coming up with three designs that were all inspired by the day I had just had. The top design, I’ll focus on last, for reasons that will become apparent (unless you follow me on Instagram, where you’ll already know that it’s an absolute hit, with over 19 likes already!). I was told by a guy at the skatepark that he likes decks with very basic designs, just a colour or two, nothing overly detailed. Another skater told me that he often likes the basic wood background with one small emblem or sticker just beside the wheels.

The duo-tone design felt nice, I’m usually one for over-complicating things. I definitely have an attitude of “If there’s more in it, there’s a greater chance someone will find something they like”. The first colour choice put my girlfriend in the mind of a hand-bag she had seen photographed in the arms of Carrie Fisher - it was designed to look like a Prozac pill. So I changed the colours up, and added the separating black lines and textures to give it some subtle character. I then went full meta with the Minimal design. And, if I’m being honest, I’m incredibly happy with how it looks like a wee character. Expect to see that making a comeback in the very near future. But the top design is what really got me going. 

I’ve recently been watching...

...Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, and have been loving Miles Morales’ multiple hobbies of graffiti, mixing beats and saving his neighbourhood from a variety of dangers. 

I then went to the cinema to see In The Heights, telling the tale of the Latin community during a blackout in North Manhattan. I found myself wrapped up in the romance, tribulations and music of the cast, and was felt oddly proud of Lin Manuel Miranda - who wrote this as a stage-musical while he was in college, had a modicum of success with it, then went on to create Hamilton, one of the most important musicals of our time. With the success of that particular show taking the entire world by storm, he was given the opportunity to make his old, relatively only semi-popular play into a blockbuster film. You can’t help but be inspired by someone like that.

I often find towards the end of a film I’m inspired by the characters’ journeys: be that from zero to hero, from lonely to loved or from rags to riches. Then I walk out and carry on with my normal life doing normal things. And as the hero of the story’s dreams all came true in the closing minutes (sorry for the spoiler, but it’s a musical, they rarely end in despair), a thought floated across my mind:

I’m utterly sick of being inspired

Now, to my credit, I did figure out in the car home that ‘tired’ would be a far more fitting and rhythmic word to use in this sentence, but this was a mentality that I found resonated really strongly with me. I’m very good at being inspired, I think most people are. We hear stories of people starting their own business, achieving some sporting brilliance or overcoming a personal hurdle and we say “Wow, isn’t that inspiring?” or

“It really inspires you to go out and make a difference!” or

“They are such an inspirational speaker!”

Then we go off about our day, not acting on the inspiration, and, for the most part, remaining uninspired. So I decided to act. 

I did some very quick research (/acquiring of images of graffiti) in order to get the right shapes and textures to create a spray paint effect in Illustrator. I did some very quick research (/confirming the colours) of South American flags, taking the blue and red used in flags of the home nations of Miles Morales from Spider-Man and Usnavi from In The Heights. And I created the top design.

YES! I had been inspired and I had drawn a wee picture to show that - I had acted on my inspirations!

Then I looked to my left and spotted three, blank skate decks that I had bought on a whim from Re:Ply (a wonderful wee company who do a great deal of charity work supplying boards to people who need them, selling boards to people who can afford them, and for a very reasonable fee, providing unusable decks to people who want to use them for artistic purposes). I realised I hadn’t acted on my inspiration, I had just drawn a few pictures of skateboards with the eventual aim of PhotoShopping them onto other pictures of skateboards.

So I took myself...

... into the city centre with a shoddily prepared speech: “I’m looking for some cheap, small cans of spray paint. I’ve no idea what I’m doing, or if I’ll be good at it, so don’t want to invest too much into this.” Hiding behind this self-deprecating shield I barged into multiple art-, pound- and model-shops and pleaded with the staff to help a young idiot out. Amazingly, a very kind shop assistant pointed me in the direction of Fat Buddha, a clothes shop I’d always ignored as it seemed a bit to “...” for me. I don’t know what it seemed, but I knew it wasn't my kind of shop. Happy to prove me wrong, the guys in there were super helpful and they helped me buy my first cans of spray paint. 

Now I’d spent money...

... and as a skinflint, that meant I had to get use out of my purchases. I had tricked myself into being inspired. Inspiration led me to the drawing, inspiration had led me to buy decks and the paint, now inspiration had to make me spray paint.

I’ll stop yammering on now. Essentially, I had planned on creating some analogue designs then digitising them (I’m guessing I should do a post on my brief, yeah? Might just upload the PDF to save me talking more), but then I found that I was doing the complete opposite. Genuinely accidentally. I had played with a few typefaces from various websites to get fonts that represented the ideas I wanted. The top one was semi-stolen (I can’t use the word ‘inspired’ any more in this post) from the end credits of In The Heights. The larger font is something of a nod to inspirational quotes you see on Facebook or on glittery frames in B&M.

I printed those out and cut them into stencils (very impressed that my digital boards have been drawn to a workable scale, thanks Maths). And after putting down a tack-layer (GRAFFITI JARGON (I think)) I sprayed the whole lot in blue.

Next, I tried to get a little fancy. Using cardboard blockers to create straight lines I added stars* (borrowed from the Puerto Rican flag) and made the bottom stripes vaguely reminiscent of America’s Old Glory.

I peeled the lettering off, and I’d done it. I may have to explain the overtly-negative inspirational quote to people, but to me it’s a clear sign that there’s no point in just being inspired, and that’s all I wanted.

A weight I didn’t know I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders. The plan was to possibly end up with a self-designed skateboard. And now I have one.

*Yes, I know they’re crosses.