#i should rewatch it again god FUCK
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taron egerton as elton john in Rocketman (2019) because that movie fundamentally altered my brain chemistry when i first watched it. i've been listening to elton john since i was a little kid and i think i watched the movie at least 3 times in theatres lmao
the first time i watched it it had been dubbed in spanish and i was still getting used to the language so i missed some of the most gut-wrenching moments like when elton's mother mocked him and said "you'll never be loved properly" just because he was gay. when i finally watched it in english it was like AUGH
anyways i love this movie. i love the songs i love the outfits i love the cinematography i love taron egerton and jamie bell so so so much
#yes he's a filthy rich celebrity but i'm allowed to have character flaws ❤️#shoutout to the movie for also being the first by a major studio to feature a gay male sex scene btw#now im thinking of the elton john and rina sawayama song Chosen Family... very cheesy but very comforting song for queer people#oh! and jamie bell was also in bong joon-ho's Snowpiercer (2013) which i fucking LOVED. excellent movie#i should rewatch it again god FUCK#jun.log
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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would maki harukawa fw red guy dhmis
#i should rewatch dhmis again... web episodes and tv episodes#especially with the sort of meta horror aspect of it all... i can see it.....#dont hug me im danganronpa. v3#i had the love song stuck in my head ajd at first i was a little like haha this is a bit like the student council. cuz of. y'know. cult#but god now im thinking it relates WAY better to tsumugi and v3 and the whole idea that they signed up for this#''and this is your chance to start anew and all we're asking you to do is change your name and clean your brain''#''and forget about everything you ever knew. and your heart will find its home'' etc etc#could work really fucking well with tsumugi and the pregame cast
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So guess who finished rewatching Trigun stampede and cried the whole time ✋
#trigun#trigun stampede#vash#vash the stampede#trigun stampede spoilers#trigun stampede season 2 predictions!#so yeah I cried so much during this rewatch oh my#after reading Trimax everything hurts that much more#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE ERIKS ARC YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA#once stampede Erik’s is here I am going to lose my godamn mind#can you tell which character is my favorite…Vash. it’s fucking Vash the stampede#god…I miss him so much already my sweet boy#just in general tristamp is so beautiful and I really can’t wait for final phase to come out#maybe I should draw season 2 wolfwood? that’d be fun I think#I drew Vash once again as my coping mechanism#what is wrong with me lol
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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a very unfortunate series of events has lead me to thinking about lucids again
don't worry ill be normal* by morning by ohhhhh man ohhhh jeez
*as normal as I can physically get about lucids
#first i saw an animation with the accident audio#which for those of you who dont know is from the series lucids#(which you should watch)#and so it was in my brain again#and then a while later i heard a clip of god is really real by ajr right#and so i was just kind of like absent mindedly singing the song to myself a little bit later#and out of nowhere my brain goes “god is really real lucids animation”#and then i was like oh. OH. OH FUCK.#specifically for oliver's situation#UGH AND LIKE MS HILLS AND ARTHUR TOO#and then like just the gang generally freaking the fuck out#as is a lot of the plot#GRRR#CHAT THEYRE MY SILLIES DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND#god and the benjamin proposal scene has been in my head for like weeks now#i love that monolouge. so much.#i have to physically restrain myself from going and rewatching the entire thing just so i can see that scene again#im so insane chat#sleep will fix me i promise but chat i am insane
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You know I actually never realized this before-- so you remember how tri. retconned Original Chosen fighting and defeating Apocalymon into them fighting the Dark Masters instead? (To be fair it is possible they could've ALSO fought Apocalymon afterwards but that isn't the Epic Final Showdown tri. decided to depict so it's borderline a retcon)
If the Original 5 Chosen fought and defeated the Dark Masters once in the distant past, doesn't that mean that
A) They survived and hid for just a few thousand years until they came back for a Round 2 at conquering the world
B) They died, were reborn, and THEN went for the Round 2
You know I've just DYING with curiosity, desperately wanting to know if any of the villians in Adventure would ever be reborn after Adventure, right. Because according to the lore they should, right (unless their data was like somehow absorbed by Apocalymon and destroyed along with him (though that would still leave Piemon as an exception (and Vamdemon but we all know what happened to him) and the sole survivor))
And what tri. has essentially done is confirm that most of them should, in fact, be reborn sooner or later
But that just raises the question of if Apocalymon was lowkey driving the Dark Masters nuts (as suggested by the novels), and if tri. was kind of about destroying the last remnants of Apocalymon's data (within Meicoomon), if they were reborn this time would they be free of Apocalymon's influence
If so, would their third (?) lives then turn out different? Would they still try to take over the world all over again for funsies (this time just without Apocalymon giving them power etc), or were they just the same as Ken was in Zero Two? I mean Apocalymon was supposed to be a spawn of Milleniummon and Ken was infected with Mille's malice directly, so while it may have been a bit filtered it was still the same source of malice and corruption, right
And like regardless of how their next lives would turn out, shouldn't the kids (OR AT THE VERY FUCKING LEAST GENNAI) like realize that this is going to happen eventually and like. Go and see if they can find them (either as their pre-Ultimate forms or even when they're still in their Eggs) and try to figure out what to do BEFORE shit hits the fan
I JUST
#Sorry I'm rewatching the second half of Adventure while working (it improves my focus actually) and#Oh the brainworms are real#Text post#I'm sorry I'm just thinking about Pinocchimon. My sweet poor murder child just needed friends 😭#But even if he was reborn without the craving for blood- who would be friends with him. After all he did in his past life#Who would want to be friends with him. Who would forgive him#IS HE GONNA BE DOOMED TO BE ALONE FOREVER. I'M 😭😭😭#Meanwhile for all we know Piemon is still stuck in that other dimension 10 years later lmao#Depending on if tri.'s reboot ever affected him at all or not because god fucking knows we'll never find out#(Or if he even COULD be affected by the reboot to begin with. God knows Wizarmon seemed to be fucking IMMUNE to it)#(Even though it was supposed to reset EVERYBODY)#But also that could have horrifying implications too if Piemon was just left to cook overnight with a part of Apocalymon#Like Apocalymon is just a collection of grudge and hate from Digimon who've gone extinct right#What's stopping that part of Apocalymon from just restarting the collection of hatred and grudge all over again#This time using Piemon as a vessel to just contain it#Like Apocalymon came from beyond the Wall of Fire to begin with so it's not like dimensional barriers should stop him either#I mean the good news is that there probably haven't been that many Digimon species that've gone extinct after Adventure#But still kids. Y'all might have a timebomb on your hands#Edited to remove some of excessive cursing lmao. I was feeling very intense when writing this sorry lmao
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cant believe how oblivious i was as a child to how messed up lizzie's childhood was
#crunchyposts#mcyt#ldshadowlady#rewatched a couple of old lizzie and joel vids for nostalgia and i was like i should watch the draw my life. and oh my god#i only realized like when i got into the life series and got more into mcyt again#how fucked up it was and i went to the comments and everyone was going through the same thing#anyways now im watching her imp and skizz pod episode#rewatching that draw my life did heal me a little bit now that im closer to the age she was when she filmed this#im assuming????? i was a Small Child when i first watched it i dont remember how old i was dont think about my age#i was posting about being in high school last year im young#but i also did go through a pretty. fucked time and her saying like you can get better#because of the bad things that happened or in spite of it????? who knows but i love doing stuff out of spite so either works
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Yknow, the fact that Matsushige looks like a knock-off Sohei Dojima probably really didn’t help matters did it
#smol speaks#akira nishikiyama#yes he's getting tagged because I Am Once Again Thinking About Him#specifically I'm trying to write a dumb lil fic and I'm rewatching his downfall to remind myself what his fuckin office looks like#it's here i must be honest: i made a 'smash or pass' style tierlist when i was only like halfway through playing 0#so i Did Not Recognise Dojima On The List. i honest to god thought it was Matsushige at first glance#i was like 'ah fuck guess he's in 0 too at some point?' and because the tier list had EVERY Yakuza character they were all very small#but also it's just a sea of faces most of which I Don't Recognise. so i think Dojima isn't even on that list gvbhnjkmvfgbhnjkm#he's not even on the I Am Going To Beat You To Death tier cause i didnt know who he was!!!! fuck you Dojima!!!#THAT'S your impact on me i couldnt even RECOGNISE you!!!! fucker!!!! but yeah that is my confession#i should redo that tier list when i play more of these games but i dont think many will end up on the 'would' tiers. theyre all just kinda#...eh. yknow? anyway yeah uhhhhh hey Matsushige what do you mean 'the boss knows what kind of earner [you] are'?#you mean a bitch? a big bastard who throws his weight around and doesnt respect his superiors? and he gave you to Nishiki?#he knew you were like this and gave you to Nishiki? am i hearing that right? is that correct?#god i fucking hate Kazama. Nishiki shoulda shot him twice.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOO
#personal#no fucking no NO come on man FUCK!!!!!!!!#god pls be an overexaggeration pls i do not want to fucking DEAL WITH THIS AGAIN#what is his fucking problem why is he so into this!!!!!!!#why is he so determined that a man should fuck his best friend's daughter who is also his SON'S EX GIRLFRIEND#why why god why#please please please please let this user just be hyperbolic or smth i want to like this show i want to enjoy watching this show#i don't WANT to watch more of barbara/bruce it already made the killing joke movie absolutely unbearably#it makes even b:tas and tnba hard to rewatch at times#fucking CHRIST if this man can just get out of his own way please god please let this not be
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self punishment via turning on the main flickering & frankly searing bedroom light.
#r.txt#don't think too hard abt the self punishment aspect of this el oh el that's irrelevant. really.#anyway. maybe now i'll continue reading the book that i actually literally need to read for my exams. and if not the stupid light stays on.#or i'll just try and find a good dutch movie 2 watch which MAN. it rlly seems like dutch ppl are just incapable of making a good movie or#something i tried watching one that ppl said was a pretty good oldie 2day but like. jesus. it was Bad. and also rlly fucking racist n sexis#worst movie i've started in a long time and that was only ten minutes in like wow. can't imagine what the other two hours were like.#maybe i should just rewatch jongens again.. or de boskampi's god i should rewatch de boskampi's i'm in the mood for smth kinda stupid tbh.#but the book comes first. so i can turn this ugly too bright light the hell OFFFFFF
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sorry im thinking about it again the nocturne cast is so gooooood - love them so much
chiaki and isamu are just kids trapped in a really shit world that either rewards them for their worst impulses or isolates them completely and tortures them
being forced to watch them get more and more fucked up as time goes on cause you can't really help?? soo gooooood at setting the mood for everything
#kickguyreply#my bf always asks why i didnt go true luficer route but also#i feel so bad for isamu man#i want to get chiaki out of that situation#none of the reasons are good so i get true lucifer being the best fuck you to the god who set up the situation#but also like damn#the reason endings hurt so much hahaaaaa#i should rewatch it all again#im not playing it again though im back on that smt imagine private server grind lmao
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...
#the closer i get to moving the more i dont wanna do annnnnnything#i just wanna pack everything and then leave. ive packed half my stuff. tsken down all my posters#but i still have like 10 days left ugh. time needs to move faster 😩#i dont wanna work tho bleh. and i fucking agreed to do some extra stuff#so now i have to fucking get all my data together. analyze a million pictures with this weird software and upload a million pics from like#at least 2 or 3 past projects. and i have to name those. except i dont want to name them all fuck that#i am not going to have time. it will take literally days. get a fucking undergrad to do it i have better things to do with my time#ugh. im just mad bc its hot and my joints r swollen and my abductor is irritated so i have to take it easy#fuck that. i hate it. bleh i wanna draw. but there r other things i should do#im such a slacker now. and by slacker i mean im working normal hours and goofing off the rest of the time#and by goofing off i mean drawing and packing and reading#god. when the semester starts its gonna b insane bc theres no way ill b done with work stuff so ill have to start my phd while double timin#on paper writing. its gonna fucking suck. which is y i shoulf b working rn so i dont have to do that so much#but again. i dont wanna work. i just wanna lay here and track my heart palpitations. its fine. im just in transition which is really#fucking annoying >:-(#unrelated#also i wanna rewatch p4cific rim but its not on any of my streaming services anymore >:-(((
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just thinking about a S4 of the football show is exhausting....
#fuck it im only getting dragged back into this stupid football show written by basic comedy men for rebecca and the others and not-#-expecting anything out of it#if anything im prepared for it to get worse#if they are trying to fix s3 well they should've done all that with s3#it was such a mess#s1 was gold and had someone else in charge so ofc#then s2 it went downhill when they decided rebecca should get with her 21 year old player#so yeah i will probably watch (i dont want to subscribe to 🍎 again though) but for rebecca + co#but if it's not a fix it don't expect me to still want to rewatch the seasons because i cba anymore#ill watch it out of professional responsibility but not with enthusiasm#they hurt me with that numb stupid finally#im not falling for any sh*t#god it's probably because people rightfully trashed it online and didn't get awards#also js was one of the idiots who signed that letter#so im not exactly liking him for other big reasons#im not getting up at like 2am or 5am again ill just probably wait
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I JUST REALIZED S2 OF HUNTERS CAME OUT LAST FUCKING YEAR IN JANUARY AND I STILL HAVENT WATCHED IT
keeling over in a puddle of my own tears. fawking hell
#it's gonna emotionally destroy me i know itttttttt#i should rewatch s1 actually. first. but#god. godddd. episode 10? 11? whichever. the one where u know who dies. im not ready to see that again#every fucking time i watch it it emotionally destroys me for like an entire week#summer's text tag
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also saying this is so earnest that it makes me wanna vom but i like,,,, miss being in a fandom where people like my ocs as much as i do wwweehhh
#silver jelly#i'm 90000000% talking about arch*r and honestly i need to just rewatch and get back into it full swing y'all are so supportive and kind <3#like idk i don't want to sound ungrateful for the people who Do like/are interested in my op oc i just...........#okay. i really enjoy hearing about people's ocs i really really honestly do; it is for real one of my favorite things.#i'm a storyteller and i LOVE stories; i would be dead without stories.#and i really enjoy when people infodump about the lore!! but i dooooooo notice when i've asked like a dozen questions about Their Guy and#they haven't said one word to me about mine. and that's happening;;;;;;; kind of a lot with these new op people .#i just feel like theeee world's biggest tool being like 'so what do u think about my guy/this plot thing/etc' idk maybe i'm being silly.#and i should probably noooooooottttt be venting about that Here ashdjbfubh i don't think anyone's trying to be mean or doing it#on purpose i guess i just. i thought there'd be like a;;; click? maybe? putting this into words feels so stupid lmao it's fucking crazy how#much of my ego i put on other people caring about my guy. my therapist is nooooot gonna like that jfmbjgbkgm#anyway !! i might spend some time developing my guy and figure out if there's something else that might give me the feeling i want#i've worked so hard making a story that i think is cool and frankly;;; i deserve attention for it jmbjfgkbmg#maybe there's somewhere else that has better rapport like op is popular there's gotta be some somewhere for ocs .#god don't make me take up rp again i won't fucking do it .#anyway maybe tomorrow i'll watch arch*r and do some research (and think about how funny an op crossover would be <3)
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