#i should open a writing blog

[t-oppenheimer]

Where the tone was and where the tone is.

The main benefit of having fixed characters in a game is tight control over the tone. And indeed, the tone of the project was originally going to be really, really dark. The premise was always centered on doing incredible violence to things which couldn't quite defend themselves, but the characters were all driven by specific and definite motivations which, if the idea was carried to terminus, would have involved individual supplemental stories released modularly. Clearly, one of the things which made me scrap this idea was a revision of scope. The current product is too raw to garner serious interest, and while I have a completed game map I want time to revisit the scenario. I'll talk more about this in a future post.

The other main reason I dropped it was that I already moved several steps away from a PtbA influence. Everything was already distinct with the use of many dice and the unique AC / MC pool system (which will be the next post with any hope!) so breaking away from the playbook model became more and more appealing as I realized that for current scope, it would be better if I never implied I was going to expand it, like playbooks would necessitate. The move to fully customizable characters would be the first true advent of what I am going to try to stick to calling the OBE (Obscure Baptism Engine), the 'idea set' which is going to define all of Journals of Caer.

One more thing. You can still read what is left of those original characters and that original tone within the Recorps Corps package. Look for the "Sample Characters" folders.

[t-oppenheimer]

I'm glad someoe's willing to say it. I will never trust a website which offers me a "free trial" to some bozo subscription service like Crunchyroll or what the hell ever. There's something honest and forthright about closing the umpteenth CUNT WARS ad. You are following your nature by informing me about a sub-mediocre browser game that I have no need for, and thus I follow my nature by closing it before the animations load in.

One thing I really love about seedy anime websites and YouTube mp3 converters is like. They actually do what they say they’re doing. But they WILL try to trick you into downloading a virus. Like it’s almost just a greeting at this point. I try to extract a song from a YouTube video and it says free VPN installer tonight perhaps? Free VPN installer tonight queen? And I say YouTube-mp3 converter you sly dog, you know what I’m here for. Show me the goods. And YouTube-mp3 converter says ahhh you got me, no getting one over on you. Thought it was worth a try tho. Here you go king x

[t-oppenheimer]

In sad news for my audience of 20 or so, there is likely going to be a definite termination of my forays into fiction / hobbyist writing. I never cared so much that it never turned up dough. I had a fantasy in the back of my mind that once I got a degree of recognition, I'd give all my work the wings to fly in the world without my interference or litigation anyway. As it stands, writing (or my writing) is a craft which does not stand by itself without volume much, much greater than I can offer while taking classes contributing to a stable-ish career. I will not be sullen if my total reach is only some hundred in grand total, though I wish I could have seen the wonder on their face as they pieced through my ideas.

These are the plans as they stand:

You have seen me post essays breaking down the philosophy of Spray and Pray's design. I intend on releasing it together in one document and releasing it for free, along with releasing all rights to the OBE engine through Spray and Pray as a sort of 'system reference document'. I am still very proud of my working through the puzzle of it's design and I hope that people will iterate on it and maybe make sure those numbers are fun at all.

A friend of mine I will leave unnamed expressed interest in illustrating with me some sort of light novel featuring 'wizard babes in bikinis'. I have left it an outline as they hadn't gotten back to me about it and it would certainly not be the first time I had to shelve a whole lot of effort because I planned around someone who insisted that they could work pro-bono against my desires but never actually had the resources to meet the project. If the collaboration is fruitful, you will know.

I am going to do what is in my power to see the first 'part' of Journal's of Caer published. Writing a full gamebook around totally unproven rules is inherently daunting, and although I already have an outline, sudden expenses has hemorrhaged my commission slush fund. I believe I have enough material to go ahead with a somewhat less flashy version of the book now.

At some point when I graduated I intended on publishing some of my undergraduate philosophy essays because-- in case you're somehow not familiar with me-- I have incredible hubris and am convinced that I am often very right and have prescient things to say on everything. It will be as easy as formatting what already exists, only I would want to wait until my undergraduate course work is actually done.

If there is some project which utterly grips me which I know I can complete within a week's time, you may see some free projects similar to Hypnosis as a Social Theory pop up.

If the situation changes, my mind will too. But a constructive murder is being tightened around my neck by the week and by the end of 2026 I will have need to make a plan to either afford medicine, be somewhere I can afford medicine, or shrivel up and die in my own urine in a way which will inconvenience the fewest people.

Spray and Pray: Recorps Corps is already my damaged, fraying at the edges magnum opus. It's a lovely little clockwork devil I know can march proudly with a few tune ups I never had the resources to give it. Please do inform me by whatever means comfortable if you 'get it' whatever that will mean for you.

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #94

Danny falls through a portal to the DC world from a natural portal that opened up while he was in mid fight with Skulker a fight that began at Vlads where the creep put a collar on Danny that kept him in ghost form, Vlad thought he’d force Danny to reveal his secret to his parents by taking away his human form. Looking around he’s in a dark city with dark smog colored skies. Unfortunately he’s stuck here as the portal closed leaving him trapped. He tried to find help but no one can see him in his ghost form. He starts tailing the vigilantes of this world and eventually follows one onto this space station through this tube (possessing inanimate objects sure comes in handy). He wasn’t expecting for the random British guy in a trench coat to see him.

[officially-other]

My first attempt at writing that's vaguely like poetry: from a dragon

I am not what you think.

I walk around, awkward limbs and flighty mannerisms, and you think I’m strange. You have no idea how strange you would think I am if you only saw what was underneath.

Underneath, I am a creature of the ocean. Something that could never pass as human, and no longer wants to. Saltwater rushes through my veins in secret, silent to everyone but me. To me, it’s a roaring sound of the waves that I have never seen except for within my soul. It yearns to dissolve into the ocean like it could long ago, but for now those days are over and I am hidden underneath skin and muscle.

Underneath, there are wings; fins; antlers. They ache to tear from my back, through my skull. Nonetheless, they stay hidden for me, safe in the silence. Protected like I protected my kin in a lifetime so close to the surface and yet unreachable. Wrapped in a form that no longer coils around them like a serpent, but keeps them hidden from predators well enough I suppose.

I suppose.

I accept my form reluctantly and do what I can to make it mine. I shape it to feel better when I discover my gender, and when I can’t shape it to fit my true self I cover it in things that feel a little more like home. A little more draconic. A little more like the ocean that I never have seen, but feel homesick for anyway.

I do find joy in being in this body, at least. Out there, there are others. Angels working minimum wage, dragons sitting on a park bench, wolves buying groceries. We hide, but we do so to be free. We walk through crowds, and no one notices our scales and fur and feathers. But we do. We see each other, even if from miles away, and we see what’s underneath.

And underneath, none of us are what you think.

(Tags for side commentary/context)

[t-oppenheimer]

we've come a long way from grinding ERP forums for short fiction practice, haven't we?

heyy can we do a sexy roleplay where im a prince from a fallen kingdom and youre the powerful warrior who has taken me for their own pleasure. yes? yipeeee ok so before we start first here's a google doc with the whole history of the fictional land we're both from and the intricate geopolitical workings of the- oh yeah and here's a supplementary doc on the agriculture and trade routes of said fictional land and stuff and yes this is important. the dirty talk has to be lore accurate

[hatkuu]

thinking about android kylar

warnings: robot/android stuff, any compsci nerds don't slander me for misusing your terminology ehhjfjsfs

Kylar returns your gaze, empty eyed and emotionless.

You can't stand it.

Sure, you originally bought him for security purposes—he was indeed an ai that specialised in surveying and property protection—but you felt horrible that he never even once smiled at you.

You're beginning to doubt that you bought him solely for security purposes. Maybe deep down, you were just lonely.

Always calculating your every movement, Kylar's pupils flicker from your face to your hands—probably some body language algorithm he's programmed to have–he stops once he comes to a conclusion on your mood.

"You're upset."

You scoff, rolling your eyes and leaning against the kitchen counter, staring back at the robot with a scowl that puts an elderly woman to shame, wordlessly saying 'obviously, you pre-programmed idiot.'

"Well, duh. You don't do anything! I spent like, $12,000 dollars for you to just sit around and look pretty!"

Kylar raises an eyebrow.

Something so simple and so human that it makes your heart slam against your ribs with each accelerated beat.

It's exciting.

"I monitor the premises and ensure you are not hurt. Despite the break-ins in your immediate area, your home remains unscathed. Am I not performing to your standards? If there are any issues you wish to voice—"

"God, don't spout that shit at me! Can't you just—I don't know—Have a conversation with me?"

Kylar blinks. Stares at you for a second longer than usual, the chips in his head working in tandem to create a solution to this new, grandiose problem. His hands twitch at his sides, and you're worried you might've broken him.

"A... conversation?"

You nod.

"Humans have conversations all the time, Kylar. Why can't you?"

Kylar's pupils dilate.

You've never seen that happen before.

"Are you... lonely?"

Coming from anyone else you would've responded with a slap across the face... But the word 'lonely' coming from your android is a completely different story.

You look down, gnawing at your bottom lip as Kylar's gaze never falters.

"I guess... I mean, I know you're for security and not companionship but—"

"I can be for companionship."

You pause, mouth agape at his quick response. You sound pleasantly surprised when you respond:

"You can?"

Kylar smiles. It's small and tight-lipped, clearly unpracticed and unused, but it's there.

"What would you like to talk about?"

[qiu-yan]

jiang cheng as evangelion pilot

[mademoisellekalopsia]

A Heart-to-Hurk! Talk

"Hurk…hmk!-uh. Hnnrk! Mmm, this is quite-hip! a workout, these things." A groaned.

"Make that two of us." B replied, huffing puffs of their warm breath and panted after a mature session in the comfort of their shared quarters. The lights are dimmed and the cold air would graze the skin of the both of them.

A recently had quite an on-and-off case this week. It's nothing to worry about as it lasts for almost an hour then it becomes resolved through letting it course on its own or applicable and suitable remedies. Despite what has been aforementioned, B can't help but think this is something to be serious about, pushing their excitement aside. Ooh, but those waves and symphony are sure captivating.

B would let out a long sigh, it sounded like they are holding back something. Their long face etched, gazing rather from the opposite direction.

"Darling, why the lo-HOCK!-mmm-long face?" A softly questioned, a hand on their beloved's locks, brushing their fingertips in a soothing sense of graze.

They waited. They gave a good kind of silence with a few sudden hiccups echoing the once quiet room. If their beloved refrains to answer, given that this matter is already talked about before, yet not so thoroughly, that's valid, it just means to show that they are not fully ready to tell it yet.

"All of this…" Nevermind, looks like they are.

"…I know we have given a talk about this, you acknowledging and unbelievably understanding this side of me." B paused longingly. Giving a soft pat of A's tummy as it popped waves thrice, tending and giving comfort for a moment.

"Well, ahem, I just…I want to really ensure ourselves about this side of me. As you are aware of. B felt A's comforting hand, offering calmness and genuine ease. "I always wonder if you're truly alright with this. Me with this…very thing that gets me so weak in the knees just seeing you getting all…hiccupy…gosh." B paused once more to gather their thoughts, looking away. "I thought you would think less of me. I must be such a-"

A took their breath away, softly gasping when they lifted their hand ever so gently, bringing it up to their lips for a soft press on top. As expected, A noticed their gaze shifting back to their cup, the hint of guilt still evident in their expression.

They stayed there, their body jostling occasionally, quietly watching B for a moment. A's hand still gently resting on their arm. Then, they spoke, a voice so soft and sincere.

"Hey. Mmk! Look at me, no force though." A said gently, their touch on their arm all light, yet comforting. "Are you-urk!-mmm…sure about talking-HUP!Mmrk!-this matter?"

Reluctant, but they listened. B, now looking up to them which almost felt was impossible at the moment.

B considered their question, a firm nod received from them. "I am up for it, dearest. Its a different zone, a whole new zone for me to step out, but, if it could help me understand myself and how…you would feel…think about it, since I confessed it to you. So far."

A would listen in return. It takes time for B to gather themselves up to talk about such personal, secretive thing about them. It almost aches B that they have to hide this, for the sake of being seen as one who can control their stimulation and that the source was quite silly and different. At least that is what B thinks and perhaps what they think others may think of. Ooh, the unending list of thoughts is like a rolling bill of receipt. Anyway…

"Okay. Just to-hmrk!-to make su-hurk!-sure we're both-hmk!-uh…get on the same page. Excuse me-hnrk!Hig-kuh'lp!Mmlk!"

B, out of sympathy, rubbed A's chest to bring comfort as the pace got too quick for a hot second. A felt cared for in the end, until B can't help but tease a moment.

"Calm down in there, Froggie."

"Oh, harr-harr-UURK!" B promptly patted their chest, "How humorous of you." A smirked back as they gesture A to sit beside them.

"Listen, hmk!-mmm…if these will let me have-huck! your focus." A said in feign annoyance. "You don't need to feel guilty about you-Hmk! yourself being into this. Hmrk!Guhk!-mmm…for I don't hold it against you, not at all."

They paused, trying to find the right words. "The way you are also-Hnk!-con-Nk'lp!-scious about it, whenever they come in bouts-Huck!-when the days are just ordinary yet unexpectedly they show up, it all leads me back to thi-HIRNNK'!-guh…thinking about you…"

"Why?" they both said. Looks like A knows B for such a long time to know what they'll say next, specifically in particular situations they both know. A couldn't help but chuckle at what happened.

"Because-HMK!-you resort to caring for me, feel concern-HUCK'LP!-and sympathy, consider my feelings about them-mmk!, despite your stimulated-self. I hope that's appropriate to say. HIRK!"

"How could I not? You'd course through them, and it would hurt you whenever they escalate." B sighed at those thoughts. Crossing their arms as their spoke firmly. "You're my beloved, mind you, an important person in my life. So, you should expect how much I would put concern to this on you."

Then, they felt their hand lifted, A holding it over their own as they spoke once again.

"You're still you. And-Hnnk! you just proved me that. And you'll still be at the end of it all. HMMP!-I think that is inspiring, a lot of-Hgrk!-lot of gut to control and express, endearing…" A stopped on their words to let the silent hiccup pop up on their middle torso. "…and "quite"-HOCK!-hot-oof."

B flushed at their words. If they flushed even more, there must be steam coming out of their ears. "Ooh, you, shut it."

B huffed, pushing A on the chest gently. Deep inside, B felt validated, realized of the thing they have as a source of arousal. B, longingly looking down as they reflect on what A has said, it took their attention off as A leaned to embrace their beloved. It was so warm, so needed. It is what they needed for the time being.

"I do mean e-VHIK'lp!-every bit of word, by the way."

"I know. I know you do. It says a lot about the one I am happily with." B let out a shivering sigh, a bit overwhelmed by this discussion, not because it made them uncomfortable, but because how much their significant other understood the aspects of them. If that is not genuine compassion, they don't know what is.

With that, B spoke in a soft tone, "Thank you."

"I got you." A manage to say, with a deep hiccup that rocked their body, it spasmed against B's own body. That was electrifying for a moment, but the hug and after-TLC session first. Moving the attention to their darling Shih Tzu currently laying down on its back on the floor. Its tummy exposed, a leg twitching, and its "teefs," as B calls them, are out by its underbite of a maw. It was deaf...or is it because its eyes are just bulging a bit, dilated, as if it saw and possibly heard everything. But its ears are safe from the prior noises, completely oblivious about the whole heart-talk shebang. This is quite random, but the dog deserves some screentime.

[t-oppenheimer]

This is what I do to "let people enjoy things" type anti intellectuals

[lycorid]

Sometimes venturing onto the For You side of Twitter sparks joy.

Based take. Shoujo and Josei are fucking top notch, both in characters and art style (how can you not think they’re beautiful?)

“Ruined the JJK and MHA fandoms” is WILD. I avoid fandoms for the most part (except perusing tumblr for the occasional fucking thesis women write about character motivations i love you women <3) because they usually suck. Seriously, I kept up with OPM for a bit because it was entertaining but holy shit the subreddit (very much full of men) is literally just… sexy woman. More sexy woman. Memes about artist constantly drawing sexy woman. Memes. Occasional power scaling arguments. Low quality page colorings of the exact same page. There is NOTHING. How the hell can women ruin the fandom when the fandom IS the women?!

It’s the women creating in depth analyses on characters; it’s the women writing fanfiction, creating doujinshis; it’s the women creating fandom centered accounts; it’s the women buying every new merch piece that comes out AND giving free advertising by posting about it online. And then men will go on and rag on women for doing all these things. It’s infuriating.

Longevity of a series is also something these idiots ignore. Seriously, look at Katekyo Hitman Reborn. The manga ended in 2012 and the creator is working on a different series. Katekyo Hitman Reborn still gets regular merch releases. This is a series that ended over a decade ago and still has an incredibly dedicated fanbase of, I wonder who, that regularly spends enough money to keep it consistent. You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that series is supported mainly by men. I do not care how hard Amano Akira tried to alienate her female fans with her treatment of the female characters you know exactly whos spending the money based on who is constantly getting merch (minus the titular character, because of course he has to be there.)

Honestly I don’t give a damn that fandom can often be absolute insanity; you get a group of people together and it’s always going to be a shitshow, that isn’t unique to fandom, people just like to pretend it is because as always, there’s an undercurrent of misogyny because people know women carry that shit but they only want to acknowledge it when they can use it to criticize them.

I love that she came for the JJK fandom as well. I’ve been following the series because honestly it is really fucking funny because it is the epitome of shounen tropes. The author literally baked them into the world. Explaining your abilities to the opponent makes them stronger. So this entire series you get giant pages of just white with text explaining every little fucking thing like theres a narrator standing over your shoulder making sure you can’t possibly miss anything on the first read. Fuck dude, I don’t mind exorbitant amounts of text in my manga, but you cannot be serious in pretending that is good writing. There’s a deus ex machina that every character can pull out of their ass called a binding vow. Black flash also falls into this category.

Hell, the latest arc has literally just been flashback after flashback playing during the battle of the characters forming a bunch of plans in preparation for the fight we currently are following. This is genuinely one of my most hated tropes. The characters just get off screen power ups that then get handwaved as “well we showed you the flashback right?” there is NO anticipation, any excitement you feel for the battle is purely manufactured rather than genuine. It’s not “I can’t wait to see how the growth I followed of these characters affects the battle” it’s “wow, what cool ability will they pull out of their ass next?” I hate it I loathe it and it’s even worse with emotional moments. Why couldn’t you write this into the story in the first place? Why are you giving it to me in a shitty flashback?

Maybe I didn’t explain it well enough because I launched into a rant. The reason I hated it so much is because it forced the reader to be an observer rather than an active participant in the manga. Everything is spoonfed to you. You don’t need to reread the chapters over and over to put together the pieces on how, where, and why each action took place, the author does that for you. You don’t see everything from a new perspective when you read it a second time, catching lots of things you may have missed because you’re not allowed to miss anything the author deems important.

I enjoy this manga. There is good things about it. But it is nowhere near the god manga (“kamige” would be the term if it was a visual novel; I don’t know a manga equivalent) men like to pretend it is. It genuinely seems like they think everything being explained every page is good writing.

Based and succinct.

Anyway, you shouldn’t restrict yourself from experiencing specific genres because they’re for “the lessers” because that’s actually fucking cringe and maybe you should touch a Josei manga, or even a Shoujo manga. Maybe it’ll open your eyes and you’ll realize, hey, women’s media is actually- oh who the fuck am I kidding just pull the trigger.

[numberoneanika]

Honestly the roleplay blogs are stronger than I am because if I saw a post where people were saying my blog was annoying and calling me corny I would jump in a large pit and rot away

[t-oppenheimer]

Copyright shouldn't exist because private property is theft: all human creation is derivative and making people "lords of ideas" was a stupid solution to a stupid problem (European's unwillingness to compensate creatives prima facie) AI is annoying because tech bros have an inherently authoritarian, eugenic-white-supremacist and anti-life outlook which covers all of the sectors product in a goo of "bro if you don't shut the fuck up". It cannot be removed from capitalism and the profit motive until both are eradicated. These are very compatible thoughts, just remain oriented correctly and towards truth.

anyway ai discourse is kicking off on my dash again and i just want to reiterate that i fully and 100% believe that "cutting up and remixing pre-existing intellectual property without prior permission" should never be made illegal and it would be utterly horrifying if the united states attempted to criminalize it.

[piningpercussionist]

Just a quick sketch to bring in my Favorite Month! (It's Zombie Jerry and Zombie Lucy- from the game! For those who haven't played it.)

[t-oppenheimer]

I wonder if it is a 'not good but bad thing' to think that if a text or other piece of media sucks in certain specific ways, it is morally depraved for having abused my time with it or if maybe I should chill out.

For instance: Salvage the Bones from Jesmyn Ward not only has objectively bad prose and an engagement with 'motherhood' which seems counterintuitive and inappropriate for the character's socioeconomic condition, but trying to effect a relative sympathy out of me for someone who kidnaps and fights dogs seems a bridge too far. Now, in this situation where I have plenty of intellectual reason to disdain the book, my emotional, "in my head rent-free" anger is directed towards the author or the frustrating situation which all but forced me to engage that work? I live happily knowing that bad books for """young adults""" exist every day, yet if those """young adult""" authors simply chose to do otherwise there would be no chance to encounter that!

Anyway I'll get back to posting about la project soonish, all the not writing on or about it has given me time to cook.

[hazeism]

Hi!! Since pocketwei just recommended a bunch of your fics, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're the gold standard of dofuwani and mishanks on AO3. Actual inspiration. I need to sit down and devote a day to commenting on your fics because I've read most of them and your writing lives in my head rent free.

AOADFDUKIDUFLJ ??!!!! HOW DO I EVEN RESPOND TO THIS AAAHHA. "the gold standard" aahhadufdgu what the hell, dudedfkdufj. Thank you thank you!!

^^ Live Haze Reaction

Please don't feel like you have to leave any comments or anything, it already means the world to me that you took the time to read my writing, and be so fair and generous with it, (eyes glazing over, maniacal air) bringing it to life inside of you by considering it and letting yourself think about it (normal again), aaaahhaa it makes me so sentimental. We are alive !!!!

That said, of course, I'd be happy to hear anything you want to share in the form of a comment (getting the emaail is like a syringe to the spine for me), but don't overthink it or feel pressured to comment on everything or share in utter Platonic eloquence, blah blah. Just whatever you feel like saying, long or short, critical or flattering, observational or analytical or reactive, or even just an emoticon, it's all good!

(I suppose, too, it doesn't really matter whether you'd like to share them with me in particular--sometimes it's nice to give fixed form to your thoughts, and know they're worth that effort, so there's your explicit permission to simply use my comment sections as a medium to prove you exist, haha.)

but um. tldr. thank you! one million kisses.