#i should look into this because tumblr has new options for this stuff

[enbyfication]

ok morning asks are done !! friendly reminder that ppl can block #flusterasks if they don't wanna have their dashes swamped, i lov answering asks and it's sm fun chatting to u all but im aware that it might be a bit much for ppl who have just followed me for exclusive hornyposting so yea:)))

[asleepinawell]

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[marvelouslizzie]

unconventional methods - chapter 1

Summary: Bucky Barnes has a big problem: he is too anxious to date and too old school to enjoy porn. But he needs some kind of relief, and he needs it right now.

After getting an accidental boner during a mission, Natasha suggests him an application that seems to be exactly what he needs.

Will your content solve the problem for him? Or will it create new problems?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator Reader)

Word Count: 5.7K

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, sex deprivation, adult content creation, sexy lingerie, sexy photos and videos, male masturbation, self-doubt, overthinking, flirting, sexting, sending explicit content to each other, pet names, mutual masturbation, jealousy, feeling possessive (nothing toxic), hiding the real identity, no mention of y/n.

A/N: This was such a random idea but as I started to think about it, more details came to me. After a point, it became impossible not to write.

In this story, Bunny is the reader but we view most of the story from Bucky’s side so there’s no use of you during the story. We don’t know what the reader is up to, how she feels about stuff. Only as much as Bucky knows or sees. That’s why the reader is mentioned as she mostly.

>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.

This story is not exactly how it seems but I don’t want to spoil it by revealing things too soon. Just stick around, if you wanna know how things will turn out to be.

Again, a big thank you to @notafunkiller for helping me every step of the way. She helped me the moment I felt stuck or something felt off, beta read the whole story and turned this into a readable piece. Thanking her won’t be enough. I would literally add her as a co-writer if that was possible on Tumblr.

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Every like, comment and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message me or send me a question regarding the stories I write. I would love to talk about it and no, it would never bother me as long as it’s not a hate comment. They are never welcome.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

Bucky wasn’t sure if he should do this. He looked at the paper Natasha handed him and then back at the screen again. The internet browser was open for a while, but he couldn’t decide what to do. It felt weird to be in this position. It didn’t feel right… but why was it wrong again? She was sharing her own content: whatever she was comfortable with. They were all there for people to see if they wanted to, right? He took a deep breath, started to type the link Natasha wrote down for him, and pushed enter quickly before he changed his mind.

The page loaded quickly, but all he could see was her profile picture and the header. There was a huge subscribe button and under it, he could see how many posts she had, different subscription options, etc. He scrolled back up to look at her photos. They were not clickable, but her profile picture was her in blue lingerie and cute bunny ears, which made him smile for a second. Then he looked at the header. She was on all fours, staring directly into the camera. It was a different look. Not that “I’m trying to look sexy” look that usually turned him off when it came to porn. It felt genuine somehow. How genuine it could be under these circumstances…

He looked at her profile picture for a while, thinking what could go wrong? A lot of people were doing this, weren't they? Some people were making money, some were paying for it. It wasn't that different from buying a dirty magazine. No, actually this was better because she had all the creative control over her own content. She was the one putting it out there. If that was not consent, then what was? He quickly created an account for himself, using a new email account like Natasha suggested. He didn’t need anyone to find out about this.

The next part felt like falling into a rabbit hole because dear god… She looked gorgeous! She had some free content that didn’t show much. Different poses in different lingerie. The photos were serving their purpose, making you want to subscribe and see more… of her. So he kept looking for a while.

There was something about her that made her so much more attractive, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He clicked next, looking at her pic in front of the mirror, with her legs wide open, but not actually showing anything. The slight smile on her face was warm and inviting. He knew he had no other option than to subscribe and see all of her content. He needed to see more.

The process didn't take long. After unlocking the special content, he just stared at the screen. How can she be real? He palmed his face, feeling nervous like he was on a first date with this attractive woman. He knew he wasn't. She was way out of his league, but he still felt nervous and intrigued while checking out all the content. There were so many different options and he didn’t know where to start.

At first, he decided to go slow and just check a couple of nude photos. The pics were in order, showing her getting rid of one piece of clothing with each new shot. It started with her fully dressed, looking super sexy: short skirt, modest cleavage, looking all cute. First, the skirt was gone, then her top, and she was left standing in her pastel pink lingerie that covered her chest completely, but it was lacy and see-through. It was fitting her like it was custom-made. He couldn’t stop himself and kept swiping, finding different concepts. His cock was pressed against his pants, aching for attention as he was unable to look away.

After spending god knows how long on her profile, Bucky finally couldn’t take it anymore. This was the point of all this, wasn’t it? Creating the need at the right time to please himself, so he wouldn’t get random erections during the missions… He unzipped himself and finally freed his cock. Still, his hands didn’t go there directly. He kept looking at her profile, discovering other features: like videos she uploaded while getting off!

“Dear god…” He gulped after seeing the thumbnail. She had a dildo in her hand. There was no way he was not going to click on this. No way!

He watched her taking her sweet time, teasing herself and, of course, the viewers, then getting really wet and adding lube on top of it before she pushed the dildo inside. The moan she let out sent a powerful jolt through his whole body. It was so beautiful and felt so fucking authentic, nothing like those fake, unrealistic porn moans. They were always a huge turn-off. This, on the other hand, was too much to handle. His cock was dripping so much precum, begging him for some attention. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this turned on. Either it never happened or it was so long ago, it doesn’t matter anymore.

He finally reached for the lube, poured a generous amount into his flesh hand, and quickly grabbed his cock. 

“Fuck.” It felt so sensitive. Like he had been edged for the last hour. Maybe he had been… after all the content he went through.

His fingers were loose, moving up and down slowly while the most beautiful girl he ever laid eyes on was pleasing herself on the screen. He didn’t want this to end too soon. He wanted to take his sweet time and maybe imagine she was the one doing this to him. That was a nice image: her between his legs, looking up at him with those big eyes while she moved her hand up and down slowly, torturing him, not letting him come until she said so.

His breath shuttered at the thought, his fingers moving faster than before, like they have their own mind. His cock was grateful, but no, he didn’t want to come before the video was done. Somehow it felt like disappointing your date during your first sex.

Luckily, she started to shatter, moaning as she came on the dildo she was riding. And the noises she made immediately sent him over the edge. 

“F-f-fuck,” he slurred as he started to come. It felt good, really good. He lost himself in pleasure and kept stroking until he emptied himself. Until he felt that overstimulation creeping in. That was when he noticed he closed his eyes. When he opened them back up, the video was done and the black screen with a play again button welcomed him. 

Disappointment washed over him. She wasn't there with him. Even if he came before the video was done, she wouldn’t know. There was no one to disappoint. He was alone in his bedroom, jerking off to a computer screen, but in his defense, the girl was hot. Really hot.

He took a deep breath, letting himself enjoy the afterglow. That was the point of all this: enjoying small stuff like satisfaction without going through the tedious process of meeting new people. He reached for the wet wipes and cleaned himself quickly. As he clicked the exit button on the video, he saw another one. It must be old because she looked a bit younger, and her hair was a little lighter. Also, it looked like a short one so he clicked on it.

“Hey. Thank you so much for subscribing.” This was the first time he heard her voice. It was soft and calm. “I know this isn’t conventional, but I enjoy sharing content like this. Don’t judge me if you don’t wanna be judged, okay?” She winked and god, it was adorable. “I'll try to share new content every Wednesday. I hope to see you here. Feel free to message me if you like. Take care.”

If he hadn’t come thirty seconds ago, he would have gotten hard again after hearing her voice. He was glad even the super soldier serum had some limits. Before his body could recover from his intense orgasm, he closed the window and decided to go take a shower.

-------

The next week passed in a blur. There were missions, briefings, and someone’s birthday… He didn’t care whose. It was not someone from the main team, that was all he knew. He was eating his cake in the corner, minding his own business when Natasha sat next to him.

“Hey.” She tried to sound as casual as possible.

“Hey.”

“You look better.”

Bucky looked at her confused.

“Does that supposed to be a compliment, Romanoff?”

“It’s a simple statement, Barnes. It looks like you took my advice and gave yourself a break.” Bucky averted his gaze from her. “No accidental erections during missions, congrats.”

“It was one time, Natasha. One time. When will you let it go?”

“Whenever you tell me about your… experience.”

“My experience?” He looked back at her, with the same confused expression all over again.

“I wanna know if you liked her or not. I don’t need details.”

“Why do you care so much about it? She’s just a random girl.” He lied to her. She wasn’t. At least not to him. He had been checking her account anytime he got a chance. This whole week, he had been masturbating more than he ever did before. Sometimes even the thought of her was turning him on so randomly, he was starting to get worried, but at the same time, he couldn’t stop himself from checking for updates.

She was sharing content very regularly. Sometimes they were new photoshoots, and sometimes just random cute photos in pajamas. He didn’t know which content he was looking forward to the most. All he knew was he loved how genuine it felt she was.

“I’m just noisy. So tell me…”

“Yes, Natasha, I like her. She’s cute and hot, exactly what I was looking for. What do you want, a thank you?”

Bucky really had no idea how Natasha managed to hit the bull's eye when she suggested this girl to him. She was absolutely his type, so he could say thank you for this, but nothing more.

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“Thank you.” It was Natasha’s turn to feel confused because in all the time they spent together with Barnes, he never once thanked her. This was a first.

“Wow. You really like her.” She sounded proud of herself.

“Hey, Buck!” The moment Bucky heard Sam’s voice, he jumped off the couch. He didn’t want to spend another minute talking about his irrational crush with Natasha. It was pointless.

-------

As the time passed, Bucky felt like he was addicted to her content. He was checking his phone much more often than before, just to see if she shared something. He didn’t notice it until Sam pointed it out and asked if he got a girlfriend or something. He quickly denied that possibility, finding a lame excuse. He wasn’t sure if Sam bought it or not, but he definitely needed to check his phone less often. 

When he came back home, he felt so tired. The whole day was full of meetings and he let himself be consumed by the details just not to think about her. It was Wednesday, which meant new content,  yet he still tried to stay away from his phone. 

He literally consumed every content she ever shared. There was no photo or video on her profile he didn't see. There were some he masturbated to more than once. He just wanted to take a step back and if he could manage this, he would feel less of a creep. The problem was he was home and he had nothing to do.

He tried to distract himself with food at first, and it only worked for 15 minutes. Then he took a shower, which took even less. Watching television didn’t even last more than 5 minutes, so he decided to go to sleep, but his mind kept wandering to her. He wanted to know what she shared and how she looked. Finally, he gave in and opened her profile… to see nothing. Since yesterday she shared literally nothing. That was so unlike her. She shared something every day and she never missed Wednesdays. He didn’t care about the lack of new content. It worried him that he doesn’t know if she was alright. Why wouldn’t she be? Maybe she was busy. He tried to calm himself down but falling asleep was impossible.

Then he made a promise to himself: if she won't share anything by noon the next day, he would message her. That thought calmed him down a little.

-------

The next day, Bucky forgot that he was trying to avoid checking his phone in public. His body was at work, but his mind was stuck on… her. He kept looking at her profile to see something, anything to assure himself you’re alright, but there was literally nothing. Complete silence. When it was finally noon, he had no patience left. Normally, he wouldn’t even consider sending a message, but he was just worried. And it didn’t occur to him that it was not his place to be concerned about this woman. 

He opened her profile and clicked on the direct messages feature. His mind was completely blank. He had no idea what to say, looking at the screen for a couple of seconds as he trying to collect his thoughts.

“Hey.” That’s all he could come up with. How to say you are worried about someone who has no idea you even exist? It was ridiculous, but there was no way he could just wait and do nothing. “I’m sorry for bothering you. I hope you are alright. You have been absent lately. It could be something totally personal, I know that, but you never miss Wednesdays. So I wanted to check in to see if you are fine. I really hope you are.”

He took a deep breath after he pressed send. It was a long shot for sure. He didn’t really expect an answer. Maybe a seen. And that would be more than enough.

-------

An unfamiliar chime got Bucky’s attention. It surely came from his phone, but he never heard that sound before. When he took his phone out and saw the notification, his heart skipped a beat, just for a second. It was a message from her. The nervous feeling spread through his body like poison, sweat pooling on his forehead before he even clicked on it.

>> Hey, handsome. Thank you for checking in. I have been a bit busy and sick at the same time. Not the best combo. Sorry for missing the content day. I will make it up next Wednesday.

Bucky looked at the message, a bit confused. He wasn’t interested when the new content was gonna drop. He just wanted to know if she was okay. Being busy and sick at the same time didn’t look so. Content should have been the last thing she should be worried about.

<< I’m not worried about the content, darling. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

He definitely didn’t expect her to respond this quickly, it didn’t even take a minute.

>> Really? I thought you’d miss me.

She was talking like she knew him personally. Like they have chatted before. It was weird and comforting at the same time.

<< I did miss seeing your cute little face, I’m not gonna lie, but I didn’t message you for that. Content can wait until you feel better.

>> My cute little face is a little bit unpresentable and I appreciate your concern. It’s refreshing to see someone actually cares how I am feeling instead of why I did not share anything lately.

<< I’m sure your cute little face is still the cutest thing on the face of the earth. I wouldn’t worry about being presentable.

>> Get ready for a jumpscare. 

He had no idea what that meant, but the text was followed by a selfie: her, in bed, looking rather exhausted, with a messy bun, cute pajamas, and a cup of tea in her hand. Bucky quickly googled what jumpscare means and came back to the messaging screen.

<< You clearly don’t know what jumpscare means. It would be me, in a dark hallway or an alley. That’s real jumpscare. This is a cute lady who needs a bit of time to recover.

>> First darling, now cute lady. Are you sure you aren’t 60 years old?

<< Why, do you have an age limit?

>> For my content? No. << And for other stuff?

>> The answer is still no, but are you?

<< 60? No. I’m 107.

>> How do you know how to use the app at 107? 

That question made Bucky laugh a little, but he chose to be honest.

<< If I don’t know something I just google it.

>> Shouldn't you be semi-dead at 107?

<< I should be fully dead yet I’m still here.

>> Your profile says 33. Why are you lying handsome?

<< Believe me, my body and soul are older than 33.

>> I kinda believe that because you are talking differently.

<< Is it why you are answering my messages?

>> That and I feel a bit lonely. Your message sounded cute. I usually end the conversation before it gets too far.

<< What’s too far for you?

>> When they start demanding private pictures or try to sext.

Bucky had to google once again what sext means, just to be sure, and it was exactly what he thought it would be.

<< But you sent them to me.

>> Just one picture. A sick selfie and you didn’t ask for it. I thought it would turn you off really badly and you would say take care and end the convo.

<< I still think you look cute.

>> I am starting to believe you might be cute as well.

-------

Bucky had no idea how things got this far with her. After that message, they were literally sending texting each other daily. Just checking in, asking random stuff, or getting to know each other. It was not the same every day. Sometimes it was just a couple of messages and dead silence. Sometimes they communicated all day, non-stop, but Bucky didn’t mind. He didn’t mind not talking to her every day. Knowing that she was okay gave him a bit of peace. Just a good morning or a good night message was enough to ease his anxiety. 

>> Good morning, handsome.

That was the text he woke up to, that made him smile almost all day. Every time he remembered her calling him handsome or taking time to send a message to him, it made him happy. It made him feel different than others. He knew that was not the case. Maybe she kept talking to him because he didn’t make her uncomfortable. Maybe she talked to others too. He had no idea, but whenever he thought about her messaging someone else, he felt a faint pain in his stomach. He knew this feeling was irrational, so he avoidedto think about it as much as possible.

<< Good morning, bunny.

<< Is your favorite color pink? He randomly asked as he had been doing all week. The question came to him because he noticed she wore that color a lot.

>> No, it’s light blue. Why?

<< You wear pink a lot, that’s why I asked.

>> That’s what they like. Most men still think blue is a manly color.

<< You look divine in blue. It’s their loss really.

Her answer was a picture of her in blue lingerie. It surprised him because that photo was not on her profile. He remembered seeing this set, but not this exact photo. He kept looking at the pic for much longer than he should have. Another message woke him up from his trance.

<< I take that as you like it.

>> This photo is not on your profile.

<< No, it’s not.

>> But you feel fine sending it to me.

<< You said I look divine in blue. 

>> You do. I’m just surprised you sent me a photo you didn’t share before. I’m glad you feel comfortable.

<< I’m pretty comfortable talking to you. Otherwise, I wouldn’t talk to someone whose name I don’t know.

>> I don’t know your name either, bunny.

<< You are a smart man. Most assume this is my real name.

>> Using your real name would be an unnecessary risk.

<< Is that why you don’t call me Viv?

>> Maybe. I wasn’t doing it on purpose. Why are you calling me handsome?

<< I don’t know, I never really thought about it.

>> Yeah, exactly. You don’t know what I look like but you are calling me handsome.

<< I would love to see what you look like, but I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable.

>> I’m sure what you are imagining is much better than the reality, bunny.

<< Why do you call me bunny?

>> Because of your profile photo. The bunny ears. You look really cute.

-------

Bucky was in the middle of debriefing. After a really long mission, he was finally back in New York. He wondered if Bunny messaged him. That was what he’d been calling her in his mind for a while and suddenly, he realized it might be too weird. Was he getting too creepy? Too comfortable? They didn’t even know each other properly. The last time they talked, she asked him why he didn’t use Viv. Maybe that was a signal for him to go for the fake name instead of his nickname.

“Barnes.” Fury’s voice brought him back to reality.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked if you want to add anything else.” His voice was firm.

“No, no. Romanoff covered it well.”

“Good. Rest for a couple of days. We will be going back to finish what we started.”

When Bucky finally reached out for his phone, Natasha was smiling in the corner.

“Does he have a secret girlfriend?” Sam asked.

“Maybe. I have no idea.” She lied.

-------

>> Good morning, old man.

>> Busy day?

>> I got a funny story to tell you, but you aren’t around.

>> Please tell me I didn’t offend you with the nickname.

>> I am messaging you a lot, aren’t I? I should leave you alone.

>> I’m sorry…

Bucky’s heart was racing as he read the messages. He should’ve warned her about not being online for a while. Instead, she thought she did something wrong. He looked at the message screen, trying tocome up with a good response to assure her that he wasn’t offended. He was an old man after all. What was there to get offended?

<< Hey. I’m sorry. I was away for work. There was no signal. I did not see your messages before. 

<< Just know that you never bother me. You can message me as much as you want. Whenever you want and I will answer when I can.

<< And you know I should be the one to worry if I’m bothering you or creeping you out. Not you.

<< If you still wanna tell me that funny story, I’m here to listen, Viv.

Bucky wasn’t sure if she would reply. After all, she didn’t get a message from him for a while. Maybe he’d already lost his chance… But then his phone chimed.

>> Viv? Where did Bunny go?

>> 🐰

<< You want me to call you Bunny?

>> I got used to it.

<< Okay, Bunny. If that’s what you want.

This made him feel better. Maybe he was just overthinking. She didn’t seem to mind half of the things he was thinking about.

<< Should I get used to being called old man?

>> Does it bother you?

<< It doesn’t. I am an old man.

>> You are 33 if you didn’t lie while creating your profile.

<< Biologically, yes.

>> But you feel older, so you don’t mind.

>> I’m glad you are back.

<< I’m sorry that I didn’t warn you about work.

>> It’s okay. You don’t owe me anything.

That last message broke his heart. He knew she was right. He didn’t owe her anything, but that wasn’t the reason why he was explaining himself. He was doing it because he wanted to, and a small part of him wanted to owe her an explanation. He also wanted her to owe him an explanation. Yet he knew that wasn’t the case.

<< Is that how you feel?

>> Isn’t that how I should feel? I don’t know who you are. I don’t even know what you look like. I just know I like talking to you. If that’s the only thing you are willing to do, then it’s fine by me. I mean you could be married or engaged and I wouldn’t know. So it’s fine, you don’t have to explain yourself.

Bucky looked at the message for a while, digesting what she was saying. She was right. She had no information about who he was while he had access to her all of her content and now private messages. She was completely exposed, and he didn’t even share his name with her. Why would she trust him? Why would she owe him any explanation at all?

<< It’s James.

>> Nice to meet you, James 🐰

>> You have such a beautiful name. 

-------

After he shared his name with her, something changed between them. Something subtle, but it meant a lot to Bucky. It felt like she was more open, and more curious now. 

>> What are you wearing?

Bunny’s question caught him off guard. He looked at himself in panic. He was sitting on the floor, only with his boxers on, so there was no way he could tell her the truth.

<< Pajamas, you?

>> What kind of pajamas? I’m guessing old man pajamas but…I never saw an old man in old-school pajamas. Maybe you can show me.

Shit, shit, shit.

Lying to her was a huge mistake. He had no pajamas to put on. He only had a couple of pants, and henleys, and maybe three jackets. Natasha always made fun of him for wearing the same stuff over and over again. She was trying to hit a nerve so he would go buy something new, but it didn’t work, of course. Now, he wished it did.

He started to panic a little, looking around to find a solution. I could cover my body, a voice in his head said. And that’s what he did. He laid down, covered himself with his blanket, and took the picture. His face wasn’t in the frame, just the tip of his chin. Since he shaved this morning, his dimple was showing. He used his vibranium hand to take the selfie, and in this way, it looked like a normal photo.

It was too late when he noticed the fact that he laying on the floor, not in bed was visible. He cursed to himself while waiting for her answer. There was no way she wasn’t going to comment about the absence of the bed. No way.

>>  I am not seeing any pajamas or your body, old man. It is that bad?

Bucky took a breath of relief. Maybe she did not even notice. After all, she wanted to see him. Maybe she didn’t even pay attention to his surroundings.

Or maybe she just didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. That thought changed his mind. He literally saw every part of her body. Sending a picture back in his boxers shouldn’t be a big deal, right? He stood up and extended his vibranium arm. The new selfie was quite similar except this time he was showing a lot of skin. Starting from the tip of his chin, he showed his upper body only. He looked at the photo before sending it: upper body and black boxers. No bare legs and no face.

>> I see no pajamas. And this body doesn't belong to an old man at all. Are you lying to me, James?🤨

He might have made a mistake by sending this picture. There was no way he could prove to her this is actually him. Especially after all that old man talk. While he was thinking about what he’s gonna do next, he got another message.

>> Cat got your tongue?

<< A bunny did actually.

>> You look good, James. Really good, but you don’t seem excited.

Her response confused him. 

<< Excited?

>> Maybe you need a photo to get excited.

Before he could ask what that means, she sent him a pic of her. Definitely not professionally taken. It’s her in front of the mirror, wearing only shorts and covering her naked breasts with one of her hands while taking the picture with the other. 

>> Hope this helps.

>> But if you wanna see more, you gotta share more.

<< You're very beautiful, bunny, but I hope you know this was not my intention. I was waiting for you to tell me that funny story.

Her response was another photo: a close up on her covered breasts. She looked like she was about to drop her hand and reveal it like he did not see them before.

>> I know.

>> So does this mean you're not excited? I was trying something here…

>> I can tell you the story if that’s what you’d rather do.

“Fuck…” Bucky cursed out loud. He was really good at this before. Flirting and finding the best possible response were easy back in the 40s, but it didn’t feel like that anymore. He was constantly worried about doing something wrong or creeping her out. He wanted to hear the story, but he really wanted to see her breasts too.

<< What do I have to do to see more?

>> I’ve just told you. Share more to get more.

Oh, so she wanted more photos of him, and he literally had no idea how to take flattering pictures.

>> Maybe start by showing me if the photos worked or not.

He looked down at himself and saw his rock-hard cock. How is he supposed to show her? Maybe I should mimic her photos. He touched the outline of his dick, making it a little more visible before taking a picture.

<< Is it clear enough?

>> Oh, you got really excited, didn’t you Jamie?

>> Not an old man after all.

He loudly groaned when he saw what she called him. Jamie. God! He felt a jolt of arousal the moment he read the nickname. He was sure he got even a little harder if that’s possible. 

Before he could find an answer, Bunny sent him another photo. This time her palm was stretched on her breasts, fingers not hiding much anymore, but still, her tits weren’t completely visible. Yet he could see how erect her nipple was. He already had a lot of dirty thoughts: like taking her nipple into his mouth and torturing her before giving in. He just didn’t know if he should voice them or not.

<< Oh, that nipple…

>> What about it?

<< You wanna hear what I am thinking about?

>> Well, since I’m trying to tempt you here… What do you think?

<< Fuck, Bunny. You have no idea what you are doing to me.

>> I am dying to hear it though.

Instead of telling her, Bucky decided to show her. He tried to position himself in front of the camera and take a good photo of his erection. He tried a couple of different angles, but it was a dick after all. Nothing he tried seemed to make it seem more appealing in his view. When he finally sent the picture, he added a small text.

<< How about I show you instead?

>> Oh my god!

>> You were hiding that from me all this time?

>> Damn, I feel robbed.

<< Does this mean you like it, doll?

>> Oh, that’s new.

>> And I like it.

>> Maybe even better than Bunny.

>> And yes, I am actually drooling right now even with that horrible angle. 

<< Horrible angle? How should I do this then? I never...

>> Do you want me to teach you, old man? Because I can.

<< I’m always open to learning new stuff. That’s the only thing you can always rely on.

>> Ohh, I love that. Open-minded, doesn’t mind taking criticism, no fragile masculinity. All very hot. 

>> Try taking a picture in front of the mirror maybe. Don’t take the picture from above or too down. Try to use eye level if you aren’t particularly doing something. That works better.

Using a mirror wasn’t a good idea for him. He could imagine the photos looking better like that, but there was no way he could hide his metal arm.

So instead of positionin his camera above, he tried to level it down, showing his full length and thickness. A photo didn’t seem to work so he decided to record a short video of him playing with himself: his flesh hand going up and down slowly on his full length. He couldn’t help but let a low moan when his hand brushed against the head. Fuck, imagining her seeing this… The idea turned him on even more. He got so excited that he forgot to check the video before sending it.

>> Fuck, James.

>> Fuck fuck fuck.

>> Your voice is so fucking hot.

>> And you are so aroused. Is it all for me?

<< It’s all for you, doll.

<< This is what you do to me. All the time. 

<< God, I wish you were here.

Bunny or Doll, he had no idea which one suits her better, sent a video as the response: her fingers, two of them, going in and out inside her. She was going pretty fast, indicating she had been doing this for a while, and there was a faint moaning in the background, which Bucky couldn’t get enough of. He watched the video twice before answering.

>> You are gonna be the death of me.

>> Are those fingers enough? Do you want a third one or maybe you would rather have a big dildo inside?

<< I would rather have you inside me.

After this point, everything felt like a blur. Things got out of hand, they kept exchanging photos and videos until they both got pretty powerful orgasms. Yet James found himself wanting more. So much more than she probably wanted to offer.

>>> Next Chapter

[itpemod]

SIGN UP POST

It's late September and that means #ITPE sign-ups are OPEN 🎉🎉🎉 Links will be at the end, so please read through the post as we have a lot of new information/procedures this year!

This is the FOURTEENTH year of the exchange, but the FIRST year we will be hosting it on Tumblr, which was far and away the winner in our platform move survey. Happily, this means we get to keep our acronym and branding!

What is #ITPE?

#ITPE is a low-pressure, no-minimums podfic exchange that originated on Twitter. We are now on Tumblr because of Twitter’s…everything, since it was bought by the Muskrat. Everything–sign-ups, communication, assignment/gift distribution–used to be run entirely on Twitter, but as the exchange has grown, we’ve incorporated other platforms to help make our lives as mods easier. Consequently, sign-ups will be on AO3 and submissions of your finished gifts (when it comes time for them) will be via Google form. Otherwise all communication, including announcements, questions, assignment and gift delivery, will be conducted over Tumblr and instant messaging. 

Who are the mods?

Our mod line-up is @blackestglass (blackglass) & @knight-tracer, with flowersforgraves assisting on the backend with data management. 

What is the schedule?

The dates for #ITPE 2024 are:

Sign-ups: SEPTEMBER 21 - SEPTEMBER 29

Assignments go out: No later than OCTOBER 8

Projects due: DECEMBER 17

Distribution: DECEMBER 24

So long as it's still September 29 somewhere in the world, you can still sign-up.

How do I sign up?

We are continuing to run sign-ups through AO3 (without a nominations process, so just write in your fandoms). We are asking for a minimum of 3 unique fandoms and if you want to sign-up to give or receive more than 20 fandoms, pick your TOP 20 for the AO3 and put the rest in your Dear Podficcer Letter. If you have less than 20 fandoms, we encourage you to list all of your primary and secondary fandoms in the sign up form so we have options for matching!

Note: We consider certain RPF fandoms as “umbrella” fandoms. We know we have K-Pop podficcers and sports RPF podficcers who often sign up for our exchange. Individual K-Pop bands and individual sports/sports teams do not count as “unique” fandoms (so for instance, only listing SHINee, BTS, and A-Teez would not count as having 3 unique fandoms for sign-up purposes; for our purposes, they would all fall under the K-Pop umbrella). In addition to listing your favorite bands/sports/teams in the fandom field, we do ask you to help us out for matching by thinking of at least 2 other fandoms which you might be happy to give and receive in. The RPF podficcing pool is small and we try not to repeat matches within a 5-year period, so giving us more fandom options will help us find you a match. 

What is a Dear Podficcer letter?

Your Dear Podficcer letter should include stuff like squicks, triggers, ship and trope preferences, and anything else you think we & your gift giver should know regarding your fandom tastes. Letters are mandatory. They don't have to be long! But if you have extremely specific tastes, it’s better that you let us know upfront in your letter so that we can ensure that you receive a gift you’re happy with. Please don’t worry about seeming “difficult”! We want you to love the gift you receive! Also, do feel free to request your small, obscure fandoms! Just help us out by also including some more popular or “mainstream” fandoms among your options. 

If you’re still uncertain what a letter should look like, here are some examples from 2020: blackglass’s 2020 letter & knight_tracer’s 2020 letter. You can also check out linked letters in the “Requests Summary” on AO3 to see what other people’s letters look like!  

Letters should be hosted on a publicly viewable platform, such as on Dreamwidth, tumblr, carrd, GDrive, Dropbox, etc. 

Please put your Tumblr and AO3 handles (if they don’t already match) in your Dear Podficcer letter. For our sake, ideally somewhere in the title field. Toss a coin to your mod team. 

Also please be kind to your mods & avoid using smushnames or cute fandom ship names in your letter. We're not always in your fandom & sometimes people will use different names to refer to the same pairing & we mistakenly believe you're requesting different pairings (see: the Zimbits/JackBitty/etc. debacle of 2020). Using Char A/Char B(/Char C) would help us out a lot! You don't have to use AO3 levels of disambiguation – just provide us with enough information to figure out who the characters involved in the ship are. 

If you have specific tastes in what you want to RECEIVE in a fandom, but you’re willing to CREATE outside of those preferences (for instance, wanting to receive podfic about a specific pairing, but willing to podfic for other pairings in a fandom), please indicate that in your letter! If you want to offer or receive fandoms that aren’t currently on the AO3, or you’re one of those gutsy people that is willing to offer and create in “any fandom”, message this account and we’ll make sure it’s all recorded. 

In addition, if you’re an adventurous listener who is open to RECEIVING podfic for “any fandom” please ALSO message us so that we’re aware! We still need a minimum of 3 fandoms for your sign up so that it can go through.

If you have any DNWs (“do not wants”)  that you don’t want to post publicly in a letter, concerns about matching, or anything else you’d like to privately let the mods know, there’s a section in the sign up this year that you can fill out. Or you can send us a message!

How should we be communicating with you over Tumblr? We will primarily be using the instant messaging function. Therefore you will need a Tumblr account to sign up, because that’s where all communication and assignment/gift delivery will take place. It’s totally fine to use a placeholder account you only use for this exchange. (We do recommend adding a userpic, filling out your bio, and maybe reblogging a few posts so that you don’t seem like a bot.) All participants should be following the mod account, especially if you have restricted settings so that only people you follow can message you. The instant messaging system, unlike the ask system, allows us to maintain a record of our communications, and is the best way to share information you want to keep private between us or have extended conversations. You may use asks if you have a one-off question or questions you don’t mind getting public answers to. 

(Notifications for new Tumblr messages can be finicky so try to check out the messaging tab semi-regularly throughout the duration of the exchange instead of relying on the blue dot to let you know there’s a new message.) 

In an attempt to avoid tripping spam filters and hitting the Tumblr limit on sending messages to new people, we are asking you to help us out by sending us an instant message to let us know you’ve signed up, rather than us trying to reach out to dozens upon dozens of people (prime spambot behavior)! 

What happens if you get marked as spam?

If we get shadowbanned/tossed in potential spambot purgatory, the mods will reach out to you from our personal accounts/mod sideblogs or via email. During the sign up period, we will reach out to you via messaging to ask you for a reliable email address to reach you at in case all of our attempts to not get flagged as spam fail.

If we are marked as spam, we’ll still be able to post on our own blog and we should still appear on your dash, but we won’t be appearing in the tags most likely, which is another reason why it’s important for you to be following us!

How does matching work? How will I get my assignment?

The mods do hand-matching, meaning rather than just letting the AO3 algorithm run and make arbitrary matches based on fandom, we read all your letters and try to match you with someone with similar tastes and interests. We’ll only be relying on the AO3 algorithm to help us spot tricky matches. 

Another of the ways Tumblr combats spam is to shadowban anyone sending multiple similarly worded messages. We’re going to make an attempt to deliver extremely pared down assignment messages so that we’re mostly sending unique information. If we do get marked as spam, as mentioned earlier, we may reach out to you on sideblogs or via email. 

What kind and how many gifts should I make? Do you really mean “no minimums”? 

Yes, ITPE gifts have NO LENGTH MINIMUMS. Make something as big or as small as you want to commit to! We truly do mean it. This is meant to be a low pressure exchange! Accordingly, please set your expectations that you may receive a short gift. In the past, we have had participants who’ve been extremely generous and made a prolific amount of gifts for their giftee, but they are outliers and there is certainly no expectation that anyone else should strive to those heights. 

I have more questions about making gifts!

We’re sure you do, but we’re not there yet! We will update this FAQ with more information about submitting gifts and treats once assignments go out, so check back!

I’m ready to sign up! What are the next steps? 1. Fill out the sign up form on AO3 here.

2. Follow us @itpemod if you haven’t yet!

3. Send us a message over the chat letting us know you’ve signed up!

4. Optional (but encouraged if you want to talk to people!): join the Tumblr Podfic Community to participate in the friending/following meme!

5. Optional: Track/follow the #itpe or #informal tumblr podfic exchange tags! 

[wingwaver]

A few tips for new Tumblr users wanting to write here

Yo if you're here from Reddit or Twitter or some other site and just wanted to give this a shot you may have seen some blogs that are dedicated to writing headcanons or short fics or even original works for their own OCs and you may be thinking "hey I wanna give that a shot! I like to write!" then I have some tips to make it easier on you and people who see your content.

1. First off, if you're writing a pretty long piece the you should probably put it under a read more, it'll look like this on mobile

and this on desktop

or you can write :readmore: on a line by itself and press enter.

2. Now if you're gonna write for a whole bunch of different fandoms and you wanna make a master list then I suggest making an actual list with the fandoms you write for and then making more lists with the actual content as a you go along because you can only have 100 links in one post (I know that sounds like a lot but as someone who has around 300 Transformers things written trust me you fill up a post quicker than you expect, especially if you take requests from other people). The way I typically do it is like this

The first pic is the MASTER master list that lists everything I write for and when they're underlined like that it means they're links. The second pic is after clicking the G1 link, it's a separate post that has the actual fics and headcanon links. Note the 6/100 in the tags, this is how I keep up with how many things I've added. You can of course just use the numbers options from here

or just number them manually from your keyboard like I'm doing with this post. Adding links has no barring on what else you add to the post so you can add yourself some fancy header or divider pics if you want.

3. Adding links! Links can look like this https://www.tumblr.com/wingwaver/721887224846778368/test-post-for-reasons?source=share or like this https://wingwaver.tumblr.com/post/721887224846778368/test-post-for-reasons depending on whether you're linking from mobile or desktop/browser Just highlight the text you wanna add a link to and a the little chain will move to the end, click it and paste your url you want to link to and press add link, then press post/save draft/save (whatever the blue button says)

Now you've successfully linked a post to another post!

4. Tagging! To get your fics and headcanons seen to build an audience you usually wanna tag the stuff correctly. If you're posting a fic about Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney then you'll tag it with #Ace Attorney, #Miles Edgeworth, and #Phoenix Wright in the tags area. But it's also a good idea to mention if it's a ship or general fic in the tags too. If so then putting ship names and #Miles Edgeworth x Phoenix Wright and #Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright in the tags will help everyone know this is a ship fic. Tagging with characters or fandoms that aren't apart of the fic just clogs the tags for people looking for content of said characters and fandoms so it's very looked down on here and will likely get some of your stuff reported for spam so only use the relevant tags. Also tagging for triggers can be tricky here because of how fucky tumblr is but please don't tag censor tags. Tagging things like #a**** or #a*use or even #abu$e doesn't work here because people who have #abuse blacklisted will be able to see this content because it wasn't tagged properly. Also if you're writing for OCs or reader inserts it's common courtesy to tag those appropriately too. Someone looking for a reader insert may not want to read an OC and vice versa. Also many people filter those out so try to add tags like #x reader, #*fandom name* x reader, and #*character name* x reader for easier filtering. Also people cruise those tags too so it'll help people who fo want to read that content find your stuff!

[torialefay]

That previous anon ask had me thinking and this is a thought I've had for awhile but im nervous to share it but I'm going to do it-

1. He for sure has a tumblr account- he said he used to have one as a teen and the 'babygirl' images on his camera roll is only cementing that as a fact.

2. I wonder if he'd be into hentai porn

3. My biggest thought if I wonder if he does get off on the bubble messages and live comments at times where his ego is all high and he gets excited and hard over the reaction he receives.

4. Look- I think nearly every babygirl here knows Chris has read the smut on here and he knows about the 'daddy' persona for sure because he leans into it big-time.

I honest to god would not be surprised at all if he discovered his own fantasies through reading smut on here.

Just scrolling through all the comments about how Chris loves to call himself 'daddy' in the 🛏️-

And then he goes deeper into the smut and reads all the fics and the he gets a bit hot and sweaty afterwards and thinking.

'Fuck- it does sound hot calling myself daddy with a babe'

Could totally fucking see it.

yasssss coming in with the FACTS.

1. we need someone to steal his phone for real. like i get it that maybe we'd go to prison but what is one sacrifice for the good of the community? like i just wanna know WHAT is on there???? bc if he still has tumblr, i'm actually gonna lose my ever loving mind.

2. i have no clue if he'd be into it but probably 😭😭 i dont think i'm the right person to ask bc i'm pretty sure it's cartoon/anime-ish, neither of which i watch 😭 but pretty sure chris is into it tho??!?!

3. i def think he could get hard at some of them.... he sends a lot at night as well. like right before bed. kinda fishing around a little bit if you know what i mean. like i'm sure he gets worked up a lil, but my question is: has he ever seen something so over the top that it reallllly gets him ya know

4. tumblr should be an optional substitute for sex education in the school systems, and i believe that christopher would violently agree. i'm sure he's found lotttttts of stuff. and tbh, he seems like the type thats down to at least TRY new things anyways.

all i'm gonna add to that tho... imagine he really is finding out what he likes through reading all of our smut.... daddy kink.... soft dom.... getting tied up.... and then BOOM- he realizes he's actually like gay/straight/bi/pan etc etc. like ✨tumblr did that ✨

[mrfancyfoot]

Plots & Prosody: Prompts

Raphael x Evie (f!OC)

.

- Bite of Cold -

"Just because Raphael must dispose of the many enemies standing between him and his rule of the Hells doesn’t mean he needs to be wasteful.

Or: Raphael presents Evie with some nice, new hides of his enemies furs to fight off the chill of winter that has come to Baldur’s Gate."

Prompt: Warming the Chill

Happy Solstice! I’ve been ill (again) and wanted to write something warm and seasonal between some other stuff.  This installment swings kinda wildly from dark power fantasy to cute fluff to dark/very suggestive romance. :)

.

Rating: M / NSFW

Word Count: ~2k

Timeline: Plots & Prosody, Part II - Canon

Tags: POV Raphael; Evie (She/Her Pronouns Used; Has Fox Features); Hellhounds; Dark Romance; Fluff; Indulgent Schmoop; Date Night; Story Time; ❄️ Seasonal Gift Giving 🎁; Raphael’s Theatrics; Raphael Has a Praise Kink if You Look Close; Raphael's Thinly Disguised Size Kink; Devil is Smitten; Only Soft For Her; Devil Courtship

Warnings: Violence & Gore (Skinning an Animal); Murder; Possessive Raphael; Voyeurism; Highly Suggestive Sexual Content (Referenced PiV and Oral - No Sex "On Screen," but Raphael's gratuitous in his language)

Main Fic (Rated E/Varied): AO3 + Tumblr | Master List (contains related prompts)

[Quick Context: After being isekai'd by the nautiloid, Evie spends most of Plots & Prosody Part I (Game Events) “befriending the devil,” yet denying him her soul.  Once things settle after game events, Evie goes about her new life kick-starting her business and re-inventing modern-day things. As somewhat of a demi-ro cinnamon bun, she remains oblivious to Raphael's attempts at courting her and chalks many of his more questionable behaviors up to cultural differences.]

Part of my devil courtship series.

❤️ Thanks for reading! :3 ❤️

It wasn’t often that he fouled his own claws with the mind-numbing task of dispatching pitiful devils but a pair in particular had caught his eye as they skulked about through the shadows, searching for weaknesses and information among his forces to take back to their master.

Winter was blanketing the City of Baldur’s Gate and through the strife and ruinnous magics, a brutal cold had descended upon it.  He recalled the frequent shivers and complaints of the chill from his little fox. Until it was safe to do so with Avernus fully under his reign, he could not move her more permanently into the heat of his home and embrace.

But…

Being a provider of warmth in another manner was the next best option as he continued to woo her.

“You should feel honored.  Your pathetic hide shall now grace another - a gift for the future Archduchess!”

Snapping jaws and sharp claws were no match for him.

He admired the dense, rippling fur of the hellhound within his grip, its toothy maw wide and long tongue lolling about in a manner belying more life than its owner.  Its brethren lie broken and motionless at his feet.

With a surgically careful claw, he sliced and rent the hides from pungent, bloody flesh, uncaring of what became of the mass of slaughtered carcasses dropped to the dirt.  Thrilling, though, it may have been, to skin them alive and shrieking, he decided against chancing anything less than perfect for his gift through their struggles.  Raphael now thought only of how best he should present them to her.

The only challenge due him in this battle had been in avoiding unduly marring the hounds as he struck them down.  A successful endeavor for the hunter!

He had his spoils delivered to a skilled furrier.  After three days' time, he paid them a visit to inspect and collect the final products.

What awaited him were two glossy, soft pelts of midnight black fashioned into a pair of blankets and a scarf that retained their hellish heat and would repel even the harshest of winter chills.

He ran a hand over the finished furs.

Magnificent.

.

.

Wishing to bypass the tedium of being made to wait in her receiving room by her housekeeper, yet still invoke that mystique of a courtly suitor, he arrived, instead, just beyond her balcony doors.  With the curtains drawn open, he was able to silently spy inside her bedroom.

Evie was seated at her vanity readying herself with her back to him.  For their evening out, she had donned a conservative, green, velvet dress and blackened, sheer stockings.  The sash around her slender waist was bowed above the dense fur of her tail, the tip of which swayed just above the floor.  Her fingers worked quickly to thread strands of curling auburn hair into a braid, pinning it behind her ear with a matching bow.  

She did like her pretty collection of hair bows and clips and combs.  

They lent to the air of flirtatiously chaste innocence that he knew merely guised the seductive vixen beneath.  He would look forward to peeling away the layers like gift wrap to reveal the pale flesh beneath later.

Now, as practiced…

He rapped sharply on the glass causing her to whip around in surprise.  The fox lept from her stool and rounded her bed, unlocking the bolt and twisting one of the knobs to push open the door.

She looked up at him with a bright smile and waggle of her tail.  “Hi, there!  Come in, come in.”

“Good evening, my dear,” he returned as he took the door from her and closed out the chill behind himself as he entered her room.  

“A bit early today, yeah?” she teased as she returned to her vanity and prised open a small tin.  “I was just finishing up, though.”  Her finger rubbed a balm into her lips.

A quiet sound directed his attention to an odd contraption sat upon her bedside table that hadn’t been there when he visited the prior tenday.  A large glass container was filled with gently gurgling water and misting it into the room at intervals.  “A new apparatus of yours?”

“A humidifier!” she exclaimed with pride.  “My skin’s gotten so dry with the cold, and I picked up a bit of a morning cough from the dry night air.  It’s helped quite a bit!  Keeps the plants happy, too.  Since I don’t have a giant pool in my bedroom and all.”

He smiled at the ribbing but frowned as another thought occurred to him.  Avernus was inhospitably dry and his pool of restoration served multiple purposes to create comfort within his home, but her bedroom provided there was isolated from it.  His hospitality could not be found wanting by his intended.

“It is a clever thing.  Next you visit my House, let us devise a solution for your quarters.”  Though he could merely provide himself, he did love listening to the unique ways her mind worked.  And allowing her to aid in such decisions bonded her closer to all that would soon be hers.

“It is pretty dry there, too.  I can just make another,” she shrugged.

“I believe we can do better for a more permanent fixture.”  He regathered himself and straightened.  “But that is a distraction for another time - I did arrive early for a reason.”

“Oh?”  Evie canted her head, curiosity piqued.

With a grin, Raphael strode to stand in front of her fireplace, closing her curtains with a snap to set the desired atmosphere.

He heard her quiet gasp, “Story time!”  She picked up her vanity stool and moved it closer to watch raptly.

“As the Avernal sun cast shadows about the desolate land, sneaking from between the depths of ruddy mountain and cliffside, I did spy a pair that moved,” he began his captivating tale.  “Hellhounds!  Intelligence gatherers working fleet on their feet for Archdevil Zariel.  Monstrous canid devils with coats of blackest pitch and glowing maws that spit and drool fire.”  The fire behind him sparked forth embers with his words and she jumped, her eyes wide.

“I, of course, could not allow such beasts to cross the line of battle and weasel their way around my forces!  Away, I lured them, to an outlying crag, whereupon I descended in ambush from the very shadows through which they moved.”  He dimmed the fire and drew forth a clutch of flaming embers into his fist held up in mimicry of one of the hounds’ flaming mouths.

“Though they howled and thrashed their claws about, neither was any match for my might.  But!  As I fought, I took the utmost care to preserve them whole.”  He dropped the embers from his hand and they fell glowing to the floor as they extinguished.  “My enemies were soon crumpled - dead at my feet with nary a scratch upon them thanks to my diligence.”  Arms spread wide, he dipped into a brief bow to signify the end of his short performance and heard her begin to clap.  He then held a finger aloft to pose his question that halted her applause, “And whyever should I have bothered to expend such effort, you may ask?”

He approached Evie, falling to one knee as he brought forth one of the furs with a flourish.  Her lips parted in shock as he draped it about her shoulders.

Dainty hands rose to clutch and pet along the fur in wonder.

“For you, my dear, to chase away the bite of the harsh winter chill that has befallen this city.”

She looked from him to it, appearing unsure.  “For me?  This is…them?”  Torn on the gift?

Smirking at her form swallowed within the dark fur, he replied, “It is, indeed!  Hellhound hides retain their magical properties to produce heat.”  His hand rose again and the rest appeared neatly folded upon her bed.

“Better than letting them go to waste, I suppose,” Evie reasoned to herself as she eyed them, a means to justify acceptance of the gift.  Silly woman, were animals not routinely hunted for their furs and hides and any other parts deemed of use?  These curs should be honored to be repurposed thusly! She brought the fur to her nose and inhaled contentedly.  “It smells like you.”

Inwardly, he thrilled at her obvious approval.

With the fur cloaked around herself, she stood and walked to the bed.  Standing in front of the other furs, Raphael watched as she pitched forward and planted her face into them.  “So warm!” she crooned happily as she rubbed her cheeks against the furs.  “We should go before I fall asleep like this,” Evie warned.

With reluctance, she stood and shook her head.  Pivoting on her heel, she marched to him and threw her arms wide.

Though he was becoming used to her affectionate mannerisms, her sudden embrace was still unexpected.  But not unwelcome.

“Thank-you for the gift and thinking of me, Raphael,” she said into his chest.

“But seriously, we need to go before I doze off.”

He pushed the pelt down from her head. “Mm, should you look closer, there is a scarf atop that pile, so you may still enjoy it when we step out.”

“A scarf!”  Evie pulled away and bounded back to her bed to properly inspect the others.  She unfurled the hound fur from herself and laid it out on the bed.  Picking up the scarf, it was quickly wound around her neck.  “You thought of everything!”

Brimming over with fiery pride and ego, his eyes followed her as she flitted about her room adding rings to her fingers, a bracelet to her wrist, grabbing this and that to shove into her purse - all the while continuing to be very vocal with her praise.  If they did not soon depart, there would be another reason they would not be leaving this room.

.

.

Raphael tipped his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying the crackle of the fire and the quiet of a city blanketed by snow.

Beneath the warmth of pillowy covers and new furs, the softness of her bared body pressed against his.  He yet felt the phantom touches of her lips upon his neck and the scrape of her claws across his scalp; heard the echoes of her whimpers and cries; tasted her essence on his tongue.

Impatient was he for her to rouse once more.  His hunger and thirst for her had not yet been sated.

This had been an eventful night of dining, music, and coaxing the fox into the lively steps of a dance.  How he had revelled in the surreptitious glances of envy, lustful stares, and covetous glowers that his date drew.  He commanded her attentions; those bright, glittering eyes ever upon him.  Did she know the desires and appetites she stirred within others?  That every giddy shake of her tail, twirl of her skirts, and murmured moan of delight around the fork passing her lips hardened another member, wetted another sheath?

He could hardly restrain himself to wait until they had returned to this room to lay his claim to her body.

Evie slept soundly at his side, ignorant to the growing number that approached him for her favor, for her access - to use and abuse.  Ah, the wicked and craven fantasies that deluged their tiny minds!

His fingers slid absently through the mussed curls of her hair as he mused personally acting on some of the inspiration gleaned.

They would never know the aroused blush of her heaving bosom, the prick of her fangs, nor the pulsing squeeze of her quim. It was his name she called as she writhed impaled.  It was his seed that now painted the walls of her sacred vault and soaked the sheets beneath them.  None but he would know her softness.

For he was a possessive devil.

[ilikekidsshows]

Do you think there's anything prior to s4 that foreshadowing Adrien status as senti?

---

To put it simply, Anon: fuck no. I think there are a couple of coincidences the people who liked the theory latched onto and that they used to retroactively justify the writers’ lies that it was the intention all along. All of this stuff has another explanation. Adrien is allergic to feathers? No other Sentimonster is. Adrien and Sentibug both get called “perfect”? “Perfect” is a perfectly common word that suits a lot of situations perfectly. Adrien ads use a lot of feathers? They’re fucking white, Adrien has a recurring angel motif and anyone claiming otherwise is blind to patterns. Adrien does what Gabriel tells him to even when he doesn’t want to? HE’S BEING ABUSED BY THAT MAN. Why else would Emilie use the Peacock Miraculous when it killed her? Because she's an entitled rich asshole who thought she was above consequences. If Miraculous wanted to make “eat the rich” commentary, that's what they should have done. SentiAdrien also required reworking the Sentimonster lore to make the heroes killing them en masse okay.

What is far more compelling than the defenses of SentiAdrien is the fact that, after the long hiatus between seasons 3 and 4, Gabriel's body language changed completely, just like if something about his character had been changed. Gabriel used to hold tightly clenched fists behind his back, symbolizing his tight grasp on things he wants to control, especially his emotions. From the first episode of season four onward, almost like the writers couldn't contain themselves from including a new, fresh idea they’d had, Gabriel is suddenly constantly toying with this wedding ring, twisting it around like he's a neurodivergent kid and that ring is his favorite fidget toy.

Look, I know Miraculous gets a lot of flack for inconsistencies, but, like, some stuff is consistent. All the main characters used to have their own ways of moving. Adrien would pat people's shoulders, Marinette would wave her arms around, Gabriel would very rarely sit if he could get away with standing and he would clench his fists. These were simple, easy to remember ticks that strengthened the characterization. Adrien longs for human connections, Marinette is anxious and hyperactive and Gabriel never lets down his guard. In season 4, Gabriel's body language is suddenly: “Is Adrien a Sentimonster controlled by this ring? Come on, theorists, post about the theory a lot and do our marketing for us!”

The only explanation for Gabriel’s sudden change in body language is one of the writers had a tumblr when the theory got popular and got super excited to include this new idea as quickly and obviously as possible.

There’s also the fact to consider that the Miraculous crew has a very particular way of writing mysteries: they don’t. A mystery is a compelling question and “is” is not a compelling question. Basically the same rules apply as when picking a driving question for your essay: who, what, how, why and when are all good questions that will give you plenty to chew over while building your thesis. Yes or no questions, on the other hand, should be avoided at all costs, because the act of asking a yes or no question often already reveals the answer and ignores anything actually interesting about the phenomenon being studied.

I’m gonna be honest: when I first watched Miraculous, I had no idea Hawk Moth’s identity was supposed to be a mystery. I thought the answer was obvious on purpose because we were meant to wonder about the how and why. But, no, the why gets revealed as soon as the show confirms Gabriel is, indeed, Hawk Moth, because there’s so much focus on Emilie. There is only one possible thing Gabriel could want with the Miraculous, with no other options being presented to keep things interesting. Similarly, the show never asks: “Who is Hawk Moth?” because only one option is ever seriously presented with no other options being presented to keep things interesting. The question is: “Is Gabriel Hawk Moth?” and the answer is: “Yes, of course, because it couldn’t be anyone else.”

When you look at it in hindsight, this is also how the “Sentipeople” mystery gets presented to us. The only question the show asks about Sentimonsters and it asks it instantly at the start of season 4 is: “Is Adrien a Sentimonster?” and, like, the only answer is yes, because otherwise it wouldn’t get asked. However, the question is presented in a way that's only grasped by people already thinking along those lines, like Gabriel playing with his ring because it's now all of a sudden an Amok, which is why many people who weren't already convinced by the fan theory dismissed it. There are also no red herrings in this “mystery”, because every character to get any hint at them being a Sentimonster is revealed to be one. The Miraculous crew can’t write mysteries, so the existence of human Sentimonsters became obvious for the people already thinking along those lines as soon as they decided to include it.

This means, that, if this plotline was written for people who already thought SentiAdrien was a thing, the writers knew there were people thinking SentiAdrien was a thing. I'm saying the idea totally got taken from the fandom. And it's not surprising that the idea is stolen; Astruc's main character is a poor man's copy of the protagonist of the Dork Diaries book series, after all.

[cyle]

I'm guessing the new Original Post implementation will strictly capture posts where the blog owner is the OP.

Has the team considered adding in an option where you can also see all the posts the blog owner has added to?

A lot of Tumblr's charm is the collaborative aspects of posts and I know most of my top bangers were made in conversation with other users.

I've actually been working on a little project to scrape all the meta I've posted on a blog into a single document and have run into trouble achieving this. It would've been easy if I'd tagged everything consistently but over the years my tags changed 😔

The Tumblr API doesn't have an explicit method to get purely original posts, so I used a 3rd party tool (Jet Black Code) to pull my original posts. To try to get my "added on" comments, I downloaded my blog backup file, hoping to write up some quick code to pick out posts where the last blog with content on the chain was mine.

Unfortunately, it's less obvious than I thought it would be because in those cases my contribution isn't actually marked with my username like it is for everyone else in the reblog chain. 🤔 I'll need to dig into it more to see if I can rely on the formatting of the final block for these cases.

i don't know if we've thought of that specific case, but that does sound neat. i know there are a lot of capabilities we're looking to add to search, like including reblogs in search results (which should be coming soon i hope), and improving in-blog search. in general, i'd love to spend a lot of time making our API better for the special things people want to do like that, but i just do not have the time. but maybe we'll be able to open up stuff like this as our capabilities improve.

[yanxidarlings]

QUOTEV UPDATE

I'm honestly really proud of the q community people have come together and are working on alternatives, so for those of you who are wondering in general what's going on, here's a little rundown of discord servers quotevians have created, what happened, and what's next.

What Happened?

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like the Q mods are going to change their decision to remove the group, feed and message functions. These changes will come into effect July 1st, so there is time to archive and save what you need to.

There is a lot of discourse and theories going around as to what caused this, a common one is that a user threatened to attack the white house, and caused the feed to go down, but Q mods have confirmed that the changes have been in the works for months.

Why are these changes being made? No one really knows why the Q mods are making this decision, from the official news statement on Quotev, it said the group, feed and message features are being removed due to no one using them, but I'm calling bullshit because the vast majority of it's active userbase was either on there to socialise and roleplay.

According to the Q update announcement, there will soon be the option to download groups and messages, however the mods have not given us an exact date as to when this feature will be available, so if you have stuff to save, start doing so now.

What's Next

For the time being, many Q users are beginning to save and archive roleplays, messages, plots, ect. There are a few sites they're doing this on.

Discord

Discord has many features that make it convenient to save work, however on discord only text can be saved. If you are going to use discord to save, I would suggest creating your own personal server, and sorting stuff into different categories, and then placing things relavent to each category in channels.

Tumblr

Tumblr users are allowed to have various blogs which makes it a good option for anyone looking to preserve things like roleplay groups. However to my understanding there are daily post and blog limits, which might drastically slow down the archiving process. If you are going with tumblr as your option, then you are permitted up to 10 secondary blogs per day, and 250 posts per day per blog. Creating a blog is as simple as going to accounts and clicking the new blog option.

Google Docs

For those of us who roleplay on Q, this update is going to hit particularly hard. There hasn't been any official confirmation of journals being removed, however I and many other Quotevians are not trusting the mods, and are backing up journals. Google Docs is the best place to do this if you want to maintain any aesthetic layouts. Whilst it won't accommodate every layout, it does provide an easy and quick space to save journals. If you have a google account then docs should be available to you.

Archiving aside, there are talented Q users looking into creating a website similar to Q, which may be where Q survivors will migrate to. I don't know when the site will be up as of now, but I will post updates when they are available.

Discord Servers

If you were on when the first plane hit then you would have seen the link I posted to the initial survivours group. Since then various servers have been created, so here's a rundown of them and the links to join.

Luneris

This is where the Q user who is looking into creating an alternative site is taking suggestions. I believe it's the largest server so far. On it there will be updates and there are many Q survivours congregating together. https://discord.gg/U6spt44E

Quotev Hub

This is the server that Q users on discord are using as a makeshift Quotev. It's basically the Discord Quotev server. It's the largest Q server I've found. https://discord.gg/ZJFDNE67

Quotev Survivors

This is the original server I shared. It's gained quite a few members and is being set up as another Discord Quotev. https://discord.gg/5qK7REz2

Qcord

This is one of the smaller servers, but I'm including it incase you want to make sure you're in every server like I am. https://discord.gg/SbYkaD4D

Quotev Roleplayers

This is where roleplayers are gathering. If you want to advertise roleplays or discuss them, I would go here since it's aimed for that purpose in particular. https://discord.gg/jNp9D9Ma

That's all the updates I have for now. I know alot of us are freaking out and panicking, but just know you're not alone, and us Quotevians are going to get through this together.

Rest in Piss, Quotev (2010 - 2024)

[kitkat-the-muffin]

Late screenshot dump/review for Cloutchase Vol 4!

Here are the previous three installments: [1][2][3]

Hey everybody! It's been a while, about 7 months since I've last been remotely active in this fanbase, but this past weekend I played Vol 4 with my friends and I am here to share my favorite screenshots! I will of course start this post off with some spoiler-free teasers to encourage others to play the game themselves!

And now it's time for the rambles!

This session was quite unique since I had two friends with me this time!

"Homestuck is too problematic lets to Danganronpa" oh I just know you guys put that in on purpose. I only ever saw the Danganronpa anime once but my friend immediately knew who they were going to dress up as and she was right haha

Honestly I love how Snapchat has a permanent dog filter on. My other friend who joined us today gave him the most perfect voice that I can barely attempt to describe. I called it "Irish-Canadian stoner" if that helps you imagine it

Backrooms reference *airhorns*!!!! It was kinda funny when TikTok just abandons the player in favor of egg theft, but what I think desperately needs to be talked about is the alleged missing lion man. Who is he? Where did he go? I have to know!

I spent a good 5 minutes rambling about Musical.ly's character design before I realized they're TikTok pre-transition. They look so fashionable tho! Can I get the raw files of these photos?

YOOOO VINE GETS NEW SPRITES!!!! I like how he's behind the times because he's been dead for a while haha

This is the best possible timeline I think

Tumblr looks FANTASTIC heck yeah

What did they mean by this?

Kinda love how Threads is a character and also kinda not a character. Design is peak tho

Get Gatsby'd! If I had a nickel for every time I was Gatsby'd this year I'd have two nickels-

Congrats on the gender! Genuinely though why did Twitter start looking infinitely more attractive to me after coming out as transfem? Like... she's so pretty now... but also exactly the same? Gender is a construct but holy cheese

I was literally trying to read the option choices and she cut me off ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff anyway hi Reddit. My friend had a surprisingly good Reddit voice (I'd describe it as incel meets gamer but less embarrassing somehow)

Old man Facebook! My friend had the WORST voice for Facebook... Imagine the creepiest old man asmr of your life

Kinda interesting that the Magical Girl sequence is part of the Bad Ending. My friends and I agreed that it was more of a Neutral End than a bad one. She looks great tho, I love the art in Instagram's route

Caught in 4k! This frame only appears for a split second haha

I really like how they characterized the creepy tracking of meta software this way. Instagram looks pleasant on the outside but underneath that top layer is a completely fake personality that covers another layer of invasive curiosity that covers another layer of genuine artistic enjoyment. That's so interesting! Anyway my friends and I started theorizing what the multicolored strings mean and we're stumped on the white bit between Amino and Kik-

I love Insta's photos, I like how they're physical polaroids. The logo on her bag is also the old Instagram logo! I need to see that full sized photo of Tumblr and Twitter tho-

Honestly didn't expect this ending but it's cute and I love it! Genuinely we should all be encouraged to post about our favorite simple pleasures rather than trying to appeal to the masses

Anyway before calling it a night we looked at some of the new bonus content (some of which is just stuff from the tumblr blog lol) and dang is Wikipedia so pretty in this screenshot

Actually my friend saw this next photo and said "he's just like me fr why don't I have that?" Honestly I can't wait for the Wikipedia route hahah

ANYWAY GET GATSBY'D FOR A THIRD TIME-

Or a second time if you aren't a Gravity Falls fan lol

Anyway, this volume was a lot of fun and I greatly enjoyed playing it! I like how TikTok's route had multiple activity choices and endings. It's kind of reminiscent of how much time you can accidentally waste on TikTok haha

Instagram's route being based on trying to maintain a level of perfection was interesting, as well as the Great Gatsby motifs. I laughed out loud when Waltz of the Flowers played because I'm hyperfixating on Princess Tutu rn and my friend is obsessed with Tchaikovsky so that was fun

Here's to the next volume! I can't wait to play it!

[olderthannetfic]

Sometimes I just have to laugh at how a lot of people nowadays just don't really get (or don't seem to even stop to consider) the scale of certain things, even when they really, really should look into them because they're relevant for their points. There was this person doing this Threads post on Stardew Valley for not having pronoun options in the game and how he didn't answer or acknowledge this change.org petition asking for those pronoun options. And I do agree that pronoun options would be nice and I do hope that they are included in the base game across the many platforms. But the change.org petition got 2.3k signatures in the first 10 days and now (3 months later) is sitting at around 6.3k signatures. There are extremely good odds that he's just not aware of the petition at all. Like, those are good numbers for spreading something across a university or your bubble on Tumblr but like, that's nowhere near viral enough for "This guy has to know about it and just chose not to acknowledge it" And then there's the reality that Stardew is localized in 12 languages, 6 of which have grammatical gender, so adding pronouns isn't actually just adding pronouns, it's also hiring native speaker consultants and translators and figuring out a way to reword some of your adjectives or to insert neogenders and communicating those options to the user, etc. That's a non-trivial amount of work, far more than the "Just add a pronoun box and replace the he/hims and she/hers" approach that could have worked in English. And parallel to all he announced that a major free update with new content to the 7 year old game is under development a few days before the petition, and he's working on a new project as well. I do think the author of the post meant well, and didn't want to cancel ConcernedApe or something, but like, the situation isn't as simple as it might seem either. i18n is just hard in general even when there are clear guidelines to follow, when you're dealing with stuff that there isn't even a clear consensus in the community (like neogenders in languages like French or Portuguese)?

--

Oh? There's going to be new Stardew content? Or was this Ginger Island?

[ask-commander-arild]

OOC Post:

Hi, there! I'm @jnix-2006 and welcome to my ask blog, ask-commander-arild!! I made this blog for @pkmoth's @motherbound-askapalooza, and I plan on participating the entire month of August, but if it does well, I may continue it!! But, bear with me, because I don't use tumblr much, so this is all very new to me, haha. Before we start, I feel I should give a little bit of introduction to what exactly this is. So, firstly, what exactly is an Arild? Well, Arild is an OC I created for the game Mother 3 (Heavy spoilers btw)! He can be seen below!

Art done by @pinkalliums!!! Go check them out!!

Say hello to Arild Eskildsen! A young Norwegian lad of 15 years old who, through a series of unfortunate events, was once a pigmask. I know his design may look a little... 2015, but the design quite literally came to me in a dream, and I would've been stupid not to use it. Now, as much as I'd love to go into detail about his backstory, I wanna save most of it for the asks. I guess the most basic gist is that he was taken from our time, currently in the 2010's but may change later, from a very young age, and made to be a pigmask. Yippee, child soldier! He goes on to be promoted to captain. But after yet another unfortunate event, he ends up being chimera-ified and he gets promoted to commander, but not of the pigmasks... Of what, you ask? Well, we'll get there. For now, here's him as a captain!

Art also by @pinkalliums!! Seriously, go check them out! >:)

Few things to keep in mind for this blog:

1. I don't have many artistic abilities, unfortunately, so this will be a text only blog. Some friends have kindly made a few pieces for Arild, and I will show them off, but for the most part, there won't be much in the way of visuals. If you feel like making art of him, feel free! I would actually love to see it!!

2. Quite a lot of the stuff here is going to involve my own headcanons for the Mother series, especially post-game Mother 3. For example, in my headcanon, Claus survives and becomes the leader of the army, rebranding it in the name of peace, and that is why Arild is a commander. Basically, since everyone has unique headcanons for the series, you can just consider this an AU.

3. There will be mention of a couple real life places that will have Mother-ified names. With any mention of Norway, the name will changed to Fjordland, on account of its many... fjords. Canada is also an important place within the story, and that I have decided to call Mapleland. Creative, I know. I figured I would bring it up to avoid confusion

4. Feel free to ask whatever! Though, obviously, just make sure it's on topic, of course. Silly questions are easy to answer and will usually be answered quickest! Lore relevant questions are a little trickier and may take me just a bit longer to respond to, but I will be happy to get to them!! Also, RP is okay with me, if you want to!!

5. When it comes to asking questions, please don't be weird or anything. Like... being a former pigmask, Arild is a plus-sized character, so a comment about his weight would not be great. More importantly, absolutely NO NSFW. This character is a minor, and that stuff is not okay to ask. I don't think any of this will be an issue, but it's good to mention just in case

6. I do not speak Norwegian, so if I want to sprinkle it in a little bit, I have only on option. Google Translate. I know, I know... it's not the best, but I will try my best to avoid mistranslations or misuse of phrases. I wouldn't want to be the new version of that one post about the Norwegian Butter Crisis, haha.

If you're still here, thank you for reading until the end!! As said, I've never done something like this before, so this intro is probably super chaotic in comparison to other blogs, haha. I am really excited to get started here! I've always wanted to do an ask blog, and I really needed an excuse to flesh out my OC, so I'd say this is perfect! I'd like to give thanks to all the friends, and my bf, who helped me out on this!! Thank you to Moth for setting this event up! Thank you to Hal and a few others for the art! And also thank you so much to my friend Red who helped me create this character in the first place! He didn't tell me what his tumblr was, but he is @/Doc_Glowstick on Twitter!! Alright, I think I've rambled enough now. I'll probably go through this and change it later, but for now, let the blog begin!!!

[teecupangel]

IDEA

Disclaimer: Fantasy Life (a 3ds game) is relatively unknown and I doubt that you know it. If you do, tell me please I have put 164 hours into this game and have no friends who know it. If you don’t, just ignore this ask, the story and game are complicated and don’t waste your time trying to figure it out for a tumblr ask. Backup question: what’s your favorite dinosaur?

Now, Fantasy Life idea:

Desmond AND Altair, Ezio, and Ratonhnhaké:ton all wake up in Fantasy Life in the place of the pov main character.

I think Altaïr would go for an Alchemist life before pivoting to do all the crafting ones. Get level 15 dagger skill so fast tho.

Ratonhnhaké:ton i think would initially go for Hunter life but mayyyybe the Wizard life would draw him in. He’d also be the most well rounded in terms of weapons even if he thinks it’s bullshit he can’t use a high level sword and shield.

Ezio im honestly not sure about. He might go for Paladin for the weapon style but I could honestly see him wanting to be a gatherer life instead. Or maybe a crafter.

Next to Ezio, Desmond would still probably switch the most. I have zero clue what he’d choose first he’d probably choose something out of panic at first and end up an Angler or smth lol.

During the story: Ezio tries and fails repeatedly to woo Yuelia, you can’t change my mind. Desmond finds it hilarious that he died due to problems with the Sun and now he’s having problems with the Moon. Altaïr is somehow the one keeping them all on track but also is the highest leveled in any and all of the skills he’s focusing on. Somehow, some way, impossibly, Altair makes a philosophers stone before they even make it to Al Maajik. Ezio is thrilled when he sees the Azure Rose and Rose Shield and uses them even if he has access to better weaponry. Ratonhnhaké:ton gets a dog from all three regions. Desmond immediately realizes they need the home in the Shopping District to hold all their stuff. Desmond unlocks the majority of the Bliss. Desmond at some point becomes a Cook. At least for a little bit.

I’ve got more but I think that’s enough.

I did not know about this but, considering it’s a Level 5 game, I am not surprised. Level 5 games tend to go under the radar with word of mouth being their best source of publicity (unless you get a super hit like Ni no Kuni).

It does remind me of Rune Factory a bit though. I would have tried it but the 3DS shop is already down. Oh, there’s going to be a new game for the Switch though, apparently, so we’ll see XD

I think you’re spot on with their life choices, especially Altaïr. He looks like the type of person who would craft lots of bombs and chuck them all to the enemies with his team wondering if this is Altaïr’s way of destressing and if they should be worried? Altaïr would probably try out Blacksmith too considering he did reworked the Hidden Blade and created the Hidden Gun. Did he recreate them in this world as well? Yeah, probably. It’s Altaïr.

No notes for Ratonhnhaké:ton, could totally see him going for Hunter first before branching out to check the other lives just to get a feel if any of them would be interesting in his eyes.

Ezio would go for Paladin at the start until he realized that he didn’t have to focus on fighting anymore. Sure there was the whole ‘the world is in trouble’ plot going on but he’s not alone in this and they have allies they can rely on. Ezio would change to something more chill like a Woodcutter, Angler or Tailor. He’s trying out the more chill lives to see which one he would enjoy and he’s happy that being a Farmer isn’t an option because he believes farming would just remind him of how much he misses his family.

Desmond would pick Mercenary first because Ezio had already picked Paladin and Ratonhnhaké:ton picked Hunter so he thought he’d pick the last remaining combat class. He doesn’t know magic so he didn’t pick Wizard. Also, he expected Altaïr to pick Wizard and Altaïr picking Alchemist is what made Desmond slowly start to realize the same as Ezio, that he doesn’t have to pick a ‘combat’ life. Sure, the first time he started to cook was when Altaïr invented protein bars (wtf) and Desmond needed to put his foot down because he is not going to eat protein bars for the rest of his life (Ezio was still in his Paladin phase). The reason why Ezio didn’t pick Cook is because Desmond eventually settled on a Cook life because he enjoyed cooking. There’s a kind of control in it that he didn’t have before and, also, this way, he can be sure his ancestors actually eat (especially Altaïr who tend to forget he needs to eat when he’s in a middle of experimenting).

I feel like in the end of this entire thing, Altaïr would have managed to recreate an Apple of Eden (which he just throws at Desmond because Desmond is a cook. Desmond is offended and wanted to hit Altaïr with his frying pan) and the Armor of Altaïr (which he gives to both Ratonhnhaké:ton and Ezio).

(Feel free to add more. I read TvTropes for this one hahahaha)

(I think it would be Archaeopteryx mainly because they’re supposedly around the size of a magpie and looks like the midway point of a dinosaur and bird looks like.)

[stvrdrops]

star like you pt 1 | pt 2 ☆ shuri x fem!reader (fame au)

you’re a superstar and she’s your producer. when you collide together again for the first time in a while since your listening party the two of you feel a spark. 

warnings : i don’t think there are any!

word count : 2.9k+

note : hi !! this is basically my return to tumblr. i took such a long break because honestly my fixation on shuri ended and i lost a lot of my motivation. i also was figuring out a lot of college stuff and working on larger projects for my career. i didn’t want to push out mediocre content just to keep up with my posting, y'all don’t deserve that! this will be a series i plan on completing. it has a playlist attached in my masterlist but the song popular by the weeknd kinda sets up for how the story is gonna play out. so i would suggest listening to that one as you read. i hope you enjoy this ! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

“so.. what’s your name?” the man who approached you says with a nervous grin spreading across his face. it had been covered in sweat which made you guess two things. either he felt really hot in his navy blue suit, or he was entirely too nervous to be approaching you right now. you presumed it was the second option. this was only because just a few moments earlier you saw him chatting with his friends and how they would always look back at you.

you chuckle, “i’d rather you just ask me for the picture already, rather than play dumb about not knowing who i am.”

you turn your body to him, giving him your full attention. you watch as his eyes grow wide and he begins to play with his collar, as if it’s suffocating him. his sweat droplets glide down his forehead and absorb into his full eyebrows. you think it’s amusing, because you know he doesn’t just want a photo. he wants something much more.

“i’m sorry.”

“it’s fine.” you set your glass down, “so do you want the picture or not?”

“uh, yeah sure. i guess.” he says while fumbling to pull out his phone. you glance over to his buddies to see them with wide grins, so you decide to play along. you take his phone, brushing ever so slightly against his rough hands with your soft fingers. it leaves a trail of goosebumps rising against his skin that is hidden underneath the suit. 

“get in the frame.” you say as you focus the camera mainly on you. that was just how you liked it, having all the attention on you. you weren’t sure how you would’ve lived any other lifestyle than the one you’re living right now. best selling new album, grammy nomination number three with one win already under your belt, sold out tour for next year, and all while you were just twenty. should you have been drinking a martini? not legally. however, the bartender was more than willing to move around the rules a little bit if he heard who track seven was written about.

he shuffles closer to you, the only thing keeping him from moving any closer is the aura you omit. he knew you weren’t on his level, especially because he was just some niche internet celebrity that only the incels of twitter knew about. you weren’t even sure how he made it into this exclusive bar.

the camera from the phone clicks and your toothy smile turns into one that shows annoyance. you hand the phone back and watch as his face is stuck in embarrassment. you soooo got off on that.

“hope you have a nice night.”

“y-yeah, you too...”

he shuffles away and you watch as he keeps his head held down low. he passes by his friends who all try to congratulate him upon his arrival back, thinking something entirely different took place during the interaction. he just walks right past them and towards the exit of the bar. 

you turn your body back towards the bar and look back down at your glass. your acrylic nails play around with the olives at the bottom of the near empty drink. you hadn’t had a real motive for going to the bar. really you just wanted to escape your manager for a second and have a night out to yourself for once. living the socialite lifestyle meant you were hardly ever alone. your assistant stayed up your ass constantly and even lived in your guest house back at home in L.A.. you had to go out to places almost every night whether it be restaurants or brand launches with friends to keep up with the life that young girls only dreamt of. which, you loved it, but you also liked your own company a lot more than anyone else’s.

“here you are.” the bartender says, winking as he slides you another martini.

“who bought me this one?” you ask, considering you’ve been receiving drinks all night. to be specific, this was your seventh one. usually guys would send over fruity shots, which is what they expected you to drink. luckily you had a group of girls celebrating a bachelorette party right beside you. you had been giving them all of your drinks which they greatly appreciated. 

this time the drink had been a martini. the exact same way you had been getting them all night. how thoughtful.

“cutie at the end of the bar. she said she knew you.”

your eyes glance over in the direction of where the bartender’s hand subtly points to. sure enough you saw the girl he had been referring to. she knew you, and you did know her. she was one of the producers on your new album. she’s up and coming and you knew you had to be one of the first to brag about working with her. sure enough the song was a hit and even one of the tracks off the album being put up for grammy nominations. 

despite all that, you two had never actually met until your album release party. every conversation before that had been done on the phone since she wasn’t living in the U.S. at the time. it was safe to say you were surprised she was here in new york. even more surprised that she ended up at the same bar as you, on the same night, at the same time. you would say it’s fate. she would say she saw the paparazzi pictures of you entering the bar and she just happened to be in a hotel a couple blocks down. nothing an uber ride couldn’t fix.

she waves to you and flashes a smile. her pearly white teeth sparkle against her darker skin. you smile back, giving a little wave as well. she looked cute in her sleeveless shirt and dark green dress pants. Which you only saw due to her standing against the wall near the bar. the rest of the seats were taken, so she waited the long game and decided to stand until she made her move. her hair had been freshly faded and she had added a few more tattoos onto herself since the last time you two were together. you were unsure how you saw them despite the dim lighting, but you were just staring too hard to not notice. 

you felt a bit overdressed in your vivienne westwood dress that accentuated your chest and sat high on your thighs. it wasn’t anything too fancy, but the black kiki marc jacobs boots you were wearing were anything but casual. 

“oh yeah? tell her to come over.” you say back to him, and he gives you a look. “don’t worry i’ll tip you well.”

he smiles and walks away from you to the other side of the bar. you can’t see his lips moving, but you can tell they are because now she’s looking at him instead of you. then she looks at you, as if wanting you to say the words yourself. so you do, in a glance and a quick nod. her white teeth flash again when she smiles. she grabs her glass from the counter, filled with some type of expensive scotch. she had actually been old enough to drink, her being two years your senior.

your eyes trailed her as she made her way around. people crowded your vision of her every so often as they conversed with those around them, swiveling in their bar chairs. 

“hi.” she finally says when she’s standing in front of you, looking even better up close.

“hi.” you say back as you take her in.

“mind if i sit?”

“not at all.”

share slides so easily into the seat with this energy that makes your stomach suddenly feel fuzzy.

“how’ve you been?” she asks.

“good, yourself?” you ask in return, your fingers trailing themselves around the rim of her glass. she glances at the action out of the corner of her eye.

“i mean, a lot has changed. good change though, all thanks to your album. let’s just say i won't be out of a job anytime soon.”

you laugh, “so is this drink a thank you?”

“you could say that. it’s also just a kind gesture. i saw that guy bothering you earlier.”

“bothering isn’t the right word choice. he was harmless really.” you take a sip of the martini, “besides, i know how to handle myself.”

shuri stares at you for a moment, entranced by your being. her hands are resting on her lap but they ache to reach out for your exposed skin. ever since the album party she couldn’t help but think about you. work crushes were extremely unprofessional and she prided herself on never mixing pleasure with business. you were just that one exception for her and it made her head spin.

that night at the party you had barely even talked to her, but she watched everything you did. which, she would be surprised if anyone had not been watching you that night. the party was all about you. granted, it was partly about shuri too considering she had collaborated on it. she was nice to the people who came up to her and congratulated her work. she watched as you did the same thing.

she barely got the chance to talk to you, so the fact she was talking to you now made her feel like it may be one of the last convenient chances she gets. 

“do you turn down everyone who tries to flirt with you?”

“i’m not turning you down am i?” you ask her, moving your eyes from your glass to her. “why do you ask?”

shuri felt like she was caught, “i saw you do it at the party. i saw you do it tonight. i never see any media covering any dating stories with you so i’m just tryna see what the deal is.”

you raise your eyebrow, “so you’re trying to see if i’m fair game.”

shuri smiles again, this time it looks shy and innocent. it makes you swoon a little.

“yeah i guess you could say that.”

you can’t help but cling onto every word that she says because of her wakandan accent. it was so sexy the way she made every word sound so much more special than it really was. it had been sexy when you heard it over the phone and at the party, but it felt somewhat different this time. 

“what time is it?” you ask her, which catches shuri by surprise.

“um,” she quickly pulls her phone out of her back pocket and opens it, “eleven fifty-six.”

you sit and think for a moment. you had to be back up at five in the morning for a photoshoot but you figured it was still early enough in the night to have some fun. lucky shuri.

“okay. let’s go to wherever you’re staying at.”

shuri was shocked by your response. she knew she was attractive and had some game. however, you were a task she couldn’t even begin to imagine tackling. you were on this pedestal to the entire world that almost made it impossible to see you as a fellow human being. with your millions of followers and “i’m the shit” mentality it made you intimidating. you were the prize and shuri had her eyes on you.

“okay, yeah. i’ll get us an uber.” shuri says while searching through her phone for the app. “it says it will be here in ten minutes.” 

“cool, we can wait by the entrance.”

you get up from your chair and throw down a couple fifties. your drinks didn’t cost much but you did say you’d tip well.

shuri follows behind you like a lost puppy which makes her feel some kind of way. she wasn’t used to being the follower or the less dominant one. all you ever oozed was dominance and control. she was desperate to break that wall down and see what you were really like beneath it all. no one is ever that composed. 

“so,” shuri starts as she leans against the wall next to the entrance, “what have you been up to since the album release?”

you can’t help but laugh, “everything i’ve been up to is posted on my socials.”

“oh, i know.” shuri checks her phone, “aren’t you going to ask what i’ve been up to?”

you hum, “shuri, what have you been up to?”

“nothing much. just done a lot of work producing wise. i’ve been attending a lot of events of my own recently.”

 “i saw on your insta. i’m glad you were able to find a free night.” you stare into her dark brown eyes.

“yeah, me too.”

a silence consumes the two of you despite all the talking and low music filling the room. you’d never quite felt like this with anyone before. this feeling of being okay with being around someone other than yourself. shuri could sense you weren’t a person who let their exterior down easily. not your real one anyway. the wakandan knew she had a huge task ahead of her, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to do it all in one night. however, she knew you were feeling her, and that was good enough.

everything was going great as she continued to get closer to you with every slight step. she figured it was good for her to get closer since you weren’t telling her to stop. it wasn’t like she made the distance closing unobvious. then, of course, her phone went off.

“the uber is here.” shuri says while turning her phone off and looking back up at you.

“are you ready?” you ask her.

“yeah?” shuri says with curiosity. why wouldn’t she be?

“no, i mean are you ready?” you ask again while looking outside of the window closest to you both. shuri follows your gaze and notices all of the people outside readying their large cameras. now she knows what you meant. once pictures hit the media of you two in date outfits and getting into the same car meant all hell would break loose. 

“are you ready?” shuri can’t help but ask. she was concerned about how much you’d have to deal with when the morning came. you were the shooting star and she was simply the sky that surrounded you. the attention would be on you, not her.

“i’m always ready.” you say while smiling and grabbing her hand. it made her eyes widen and she could feel the heat spreading across her soft face.

your feet pick up sooner than her own, so for the first couple steps you’re practically dragging her along. shuri eventually picks up the pace at the right time. she can see the paparazzi positioning their cameras on you and her before you’ve even exited the building. 

“open the door for me.” you say under your breath as you finally make it to the big glass doors. shuri very quickly follows your command and it makes you smile.

voices begin to flood the entire entrance area, and they're all shouting for you. 

“put your arm around my waist.”

shuri nods and does just that, confused by your motives.

you both begin walking down the sidewalk to the uber that seemingly couldn’t park any closer. clicks and flashes of light cloud your vision and ears but you were used to it. you hardly ever blinked anymore when one of them went right off in your face. however, shuri was struggling to make her way through it all. she wasn’t used to so many photos begin taken of her at once. she was someone who stayed in the background, never front and center.

“y/n, are you two an item?”

“maybe!” you answer with a soft, girl next door smile. you had been practicing it since you first got big.

“shuri! was this a date?” one of them asks as they shove a camera into her face. it was none other than tmz.

“well, um...” she fumbles to find the right words, afraid she may say the wrong thing and ruin her chances with you.

“it was a catch up. shuri produced one of the singles on my new album. you should def go and stream it!” you say, quickly recovering the conversation and making sure the camera grabs your good side. shuri is impressed by how good you were at giving the media not what they want, but just what they need.

“is her arm not around your waist? seems pretty romantic to me.”

“she’s making sure i don’t get lost in the crowds. besides, i don’t mind a cute girl on my hip.”

that part made her catch her breath a little. it was as if her heart stopped beating for a second and then continued on. especially when you looked up at her with sparkling eyes.

“sorry guys, we’ve gotta go.” shuri says when she realizes that you’ve both finally reached the car.

the paparazzi continued to take photos of the two of you as you hop into the car together. the driver doesn’t say a word. living in new york as an uber driver meant you picked quite a few celebrities. the less you talked meant a better tip.

shuri simply puts her hand on your leg, wanting to squeeze the skin beneath her fingertips. you lay your head on her shoulder, content with the touching. this was sure to be an interesting night as the two of you ached to touch one another in other ways. 

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙✧⋆｡°✩☼⋆｡°✩☽︎

[arielmagicesi]

Why am I leaving Tumblr?

OK, I'm done with all the stuff I was planning to do on here, and I said I would make a longer post explaining why I'm leaving. I don't owe anyone an explanation but I figured I would give a brief one (it turned out not so brief though).

I'm putting it under a read-more and giving the trigger warning now that I'm discussing bullying, suicide, self-harm, descriptions of mass violence, war, and various forms of bigotry.

It's very long. If your thought is "hell no I'm not reading all that shit" then you have one of two options: you can put me out of your mind and accept that you will never fully understand me and as such cannot really make judgments on who I am, or you can go apologize to your English teachers for being unable to read. (Or you can simply not read it but just, like, don't be a dick about what you assume I may have written.)

Tumblr is not good for my mental health. No social media is. I left Twitter years ago, and then Instagram, and then Tumblr. The only social media I really use is that I watch YouTube and I check Facebook for my handful of IRL friends and family on there.

I'm a member of the LGBT+ community and I have generally leftist politics. This means I was involved in the LGBT and leftist online communities on social media websites. They were probably the worst possible thing for my development as a lesbian and as an actually effective force for progressive change, and as a person with what is likely OCD, and who survived bullying (which, yes, is a serious issue and traumatic, fuck off). This website, combined with my own issues, and the community at Sarah Lawrence College, is what led me down a very dark path in college with trying to "prove I was a real lesbian and not a cringe freak who deserved bullying". The same for "trying to atone for my toxic, evil, problematic existence as a privileged person". Instead of embracing the beautiful complexities of queer identity and life, I made a new version of the closet to torture myself within. Instead of working to help my community with positive change, I stayed inside self-harming and planning suicide and refusing to seek help because I didn't deserve it because I was inherently marked with evil as a sinful member of the bourgeoisie, etc. etc.

I already, as a result of so many things, have issues where I am terrified to make mistakes, terrified to be seen as annoying or "bad". The culture on social media has made me so much more terrified to make any mistake, because mistakes = proof of Intentional Evil and apologies are just fake attempts to win back brownie points that I don't deserve. This attitude has hindered my recovery process so much. I think of it as like Statler and Waldorf, the hecklers from the Muppet Show, only instead of two old guys, it's two college students that I call Sarah and Lawrence (after my delightful fucking alma mater) who tell me that I should be first in line to the guillotine because I'm a teacher and teachers are "child cops" (I once read a post on here saying that "in a world with any real justice, teachers would be shot and dumped in mass graves", and I'd love to say that that was just one crazy outlier of a post) or that my food sensitivities are proof that I'm a toxic privileged demon because some people can't afford food so I should just die or whatever. Being on this website feeds Sarah and Lawrence with a thousand new hot takes they can use to torture me. And you know what, I don't deserve that. And if you think I deserve that, then you're wrong, and I don't care.

I do not like the form of leftism on this website. If this is what real leftism looks like- romanticizing gulags and guillotines, trying to figure out who the "Bad People" are and then sending them to those gulags and guillotines, carceral logic, cult-like communities- then feel free to call me a pathetic, spineless, centric, milquetoast liberal. My form of social justice looks like getting up every morning, driving to my job at a public high school, and teaching literacy and critical thinking to teenagers who need it. And when I come home, I rest and work on myself so I can learn more about the world I live in (about which I know woefully little, since I spent years educating myself on goddamn tumblr.edu instead of out of books and reputable news sources), and gain the energy to make my school community and larger community a safer, more inclusive place for everyone. If that's too fucking liberal for you, then I'll see you at the guillotine when the revolution comes and you're chopping my head off. Until then, leave me the fuck alone.

Now let's get to the actual part that may alienate me even from my friends. I hope this isn't the end of our friendships, and I hope you have the patience to read all of this before deciding to cut me off, and if you do decide to cut me off, I wish you all the best.

I am a Jew. Both my parents are Jewish. My mother is an Ashkenazi Jew whose parents narrowly escaped the Holocaust in Poland. My father is an Iranian Jew whose family had to escape Iran when he was eight because of the Revolution. Both sides of my family had been in those countries for as many centuries back as it is possible to trace. They were forced to escape or die. My maternal grandparents were both babies during the Holocaust, and their families took them to Russia. My maternal grandfather was shipped to a displaced persons camp and his family had no choice where they were taken. My maternal grandmother's family went back to Poland after the war, where they were treated so horrifically, due to being Jewish, that they chose to leave. My father's family, on the other hand, had been relatively prosperous in Iran (notwithstanding every couple of decades when a new regime would force them to go underground with their Judaism or be killed), but realized that the revolutionary government would likely mean death for them.

My maternal grandmother's family, my maternal grandfather's family, and my father's family all fled their countries of origin and went to the recently formed state of Israel. My mother and father grew up there. They met there, married, and moved to the United States, where I was born. They raised us as Jews. Many of my relatives on both sides, however, stayed in Israel and still live there.

As an adult, I do not think I am anywhere close to an expert on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, but I have studied it a bit (I recommend Rashid Khalidi's The Hundred Years War on Palestine especially, and the work of Benny Morris). I certainly think I have more knowledge about it, based on what I've seen, than 95% of the fucking assholes on here posting about it. I'm not an expert on public policy or war, but my general opinion is that Israel was formed using settler-colonial tactics (which, to be clear, is bad), that the Palestinian refugee crisis never should have happened and that in a just world it would end and Palestinians would have right of return and right to safe and equal citizenship in their homeland, and that the current government of Israel is, I don't like saying the word evil (because I'm not a child watching a superhero cartoon) but they should be taken down, and their actions in Gaza are despicable.

HOWEVER. I do not think that every citizen of Israel is responsible for the crimes of its government. (Kind of like America is a settler colony but I don't think every single American citizen should be killed?) I do NOT fucking think that Israeli civilians deserve to be killed, bombed, tortured, or raped, because I do not think that any human deserves that, even "evil" ones, even if those actions are "resistance". I do not think that Jews in the diaspora deserve to be considered suspicious, to be interrogated for potential Zionism lurking beneath our skin, to be cast aside as problematic if we so much as suggest that we are frightened of antisemitism, to be told to shut up and suck it up if our synagogues and cultural centers are vandalized, threatened, shot up, because we deserve it for sharing heritage with Benjamin Netanyahu, and anyway it's sending a message and that's what revolution looks like, so maybe stop whining. That we need to stop whining about the Holocaust and that if any of us supports Israel or Zionism (which apparently means not wanting our family- our relatives who escaped MENA countries that no longer allow their Jewish citizens to live- to die horribly- apparently not cheering for the painful deaths of my family makes me a Zionist?), then maybe we deserve another Holocaust, and Hitler was right. That idk maybe there's something suspicious about the fact that Jews keep getting kicked out of countries, like maybe there's just something inherently vermin-like about us like idk if *I* kept getting oppressed I'd wonder if something was wrong with me, but idk I'm just a leftist who supports revolution and punch Nazis or whatever... That "NO ONE IS EVEN SAYING THAT, STOP WHINING" even though I have seen every one of those posts on this website, from nearly everyone I follow. (And the people who harassed my sister, who has been less frightened than I am over the past 7 months to admit she's Jewish on social media, and was told some truly vile personal things). (Oh, and the ten-year-old children I used to teach in Hebrew school, who got told "Hitler was right" on their TikTok accounts and got swastikas painted in their middle school in liberal New Jersey).

I am not just angry and frightened as a Jew, but as a teacher. Even those who don't spout antisemitism have not seemed to bother to educate themselves about the conflict before running to hit the reblog button because the post said that posting is the most important thing you can do, and I see y'all who don't reblog and that's really suspicious and if you don't reblog you must support genocide. If you studied the history of this conflict for five fucking seconds, you would not be saying shit like "We stand with Hamas", at least not if you give a shit about Palestinian rights. I was gonna write up a whole explanation of that but to be honest, while I hate the old Tumblr axiom "it's not my job to educate you! Google is free!" I honestly do stand by it in this case- I'm not gonna word these explanations well. I'll point you instead to the two authors I recommended above- Rashid Khalidi and Benny Morris. Khalidi is a Palestinian scholar and Morris is one of the Israeli "New Historians" who believes in telling the truth, not Israeli propaganda. I, on the other hand, am just some idiot who cares about things like Palestinian lives, Palestinian autonomy, Jewish lives, Jewish autonomy, Arab independence, fighting antisemitism, fighting Islamophobia, education, and the stupidest thing of all, according to this god-awful website: peace. So don't listen to me. But don't just listen to whatever Internet user is angriest.

And stop advocating for mass deaths and tortures. And stop just hitting the reblog button because you're being guilted into it. I am not saying that posting CAN'T be helpful. In my week of being back on this website briefly, I've seen people sharing verified links to sources to donate to Gazans in need, or support for solidarity movements between Israelis and Palestinians.* That's a great example of posting being helpful. And despite my personal distaste for political discussion on social media, I know there are people capable of doing it well- sharing news thoughtfully, discussing the best methods of dealing with it, etc. But seeing my own people being tossed into the fucking machine of "There's A Certain Heritage That Are All Either Oppressors Or On Thin Ice, and We Need To Guillotine Them, Or Else We're Oppressors Too And Should Die" has shown me even more clearly than before that something is deeply wrong about the way we approach social justice on social media.

(*yes, solidarity between Israelis and Palestinians. Israelis are not a monolithic oppressor block, and Palestinians are not required to lie down and just take their oppression until Americans save them with posting. They are all human beings and are allowed to work together to stop what I think is the true problem, the governments treating their lives as pawns.)

I don't know enough about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. (Or quite honestly, a lot of the real-world issues I used to "just reblog" about). Chances are, neither do you. But I at least know that I will never give in to hatred and prejudice and thirst for violence. I will never sit back and be fine with the acts of the Israeli government and military simply because they share my heritage, and even with the terrible burden of knowing with more and more clarity every day how viciously the world, even my friends and allies, view my people. That will never excuse what Israel is doing, and I know that I disagree with many of my fellow Jews on this point. But I will also not be bullied into giving up my values- kindness, equality, peace, love for humanity- by somebody telling me that if I value nonviolence, if I don't believe in the dichotomy of "enemy race vs. good race", I must be a secret Zionist/neoliberal/etc, and thus an oppressor. I know who I really am and I know what my values are. If you don't like that, and we used to be friends, please do me the justice of at least letting me know before blocking me or whatnot.

I'm sorry this post was so long. I tend to ramble. I plan to log off. If you would like to contact me about this post, I suggest you don't unless we were already mutuals/friends and I gave you my contact anyway. If you aren't my mutual/friend but you truly must tell me something, I've created a blog called arielmagicesi.blogspot.com and there's one post on there and you can comment there.

FINAL THING:

Most of this post is me appealing as a leftist, a Jew, a human being. I'd like to appeal as a friend. I have been terrified, like constant-nightmares-and-panic-attacks-for-months terrified, of my friends turning on me if they found out all of this. I'm pretty sure there's at least one or two old friends of mine who, because they know that my parents grew up in Israel and I haven't disowned my parents, probably no longer want to be friends, and maybe even think of me as an enemy. If you do want to stop being friends with me because of this, please be direct. If you don't, just keep it in mind- not in a "develop an anxiety complex about Ariel's hurt feelings" way but in a "be careful how you talk about Jews on social media, if possible" way.