#i should just go and do some physics for tomorrow's tests

[mars-ipan]

i have my first infusion tomorrow and the Anxiety is kicking in and i am trying so so hard to keep it calm

[thursdayg1rl]

was so ready to slay absolute penis tomorrow but realised i forgor my lunch

[waitimcomingtoo]

Just to Learn That You Never Cared

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Synopsis: always leaving class together to go fight crime leads people to think you’re dating when in reality you’re barely even friends. That is, until you agree to fake a relationship to keep your secret life a secret

requested/idea by @usoppsstar

Masterlist

“Oh, hey. Your girlfriend left this in class.” One of Peter’s classmates said as he tossed Peter a hoodie.

“Oh. Thanks.” Peter said before realizing what the person had said. He turned the hoodie over in his hands and recognized it as yours. His face warmed up in a blush when he realized you had just been mistaken for his girlfriend. He shoved the hoodie into his bag and wondered if he should tell you or not.

Peter saw you later that night on a rooftop you frequented often. You were in your suit, as was he, but had your mask sitting beside you. You were munching on a bag of chips and wordlessly extended them to him when he landed on the rooftop beside you. He smiled graciously and took a few before sitting down next to you. Your knees were touching but neither of you moved away.

“You left this in physics, dingus.” Peter said and handed you your hoodie.

“Oh, thanks. We had to run out of there so fast to save that lady. I must’ve left it behind.” You smiled gratefully and pulled it over your head. Peter felt bad that his high tech suit had built in heaters and your homemade suit was probably leaving you freezing every night. He wanted to suggest sharing his warmth, but he didn’t want to overstep.

“I know. Thank God she called the police on those kids for selling lemonade without a permit. I’m really glad we left a test to go witness that heinous crime.”

“It’s not all bad. We did get to see the cops arrest her for wasting their time by making a fake police report, which is always satisfying. And the kids gave us free lemonade. But I think calling it “homemade” was bullshit. I know Minute Maid when I taste it.” You replied, making Peter chuckle.

“You’re right. Both those things were enjoyable.” Peter agreed. “But I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I feel like we have to leave class every other day.”

“I know. Why did we have to pick a college in such a Karen ridden neighborhood?” You sighed.

“Because we wanted to go to the good school with the good science program. We should’ve known the neighborhood would be full of bored housewives who call the police whenever they have a minor complaint. It was our own hubris.”

“It was.” You chuckled and said looked over at him. You exchanged soft smiles before you looked over at the city horizon. Peters eyes never left you and he cleared his throat to get your attention.

“So, uh, my aunt and I were gonna get Chinese food later. At the place that got shut down for being a front for money laundering but that was really just a front for a second Chinese food chain.”

“Oh, I love that place.”

“Yeah. It’s great.” He nodded. “Anyways, you should totally come-“

Peter was cut off by the police radio he wired to his phone going off. He rolled his eyes and checked what the alert was.

“Damn it. Robbery at the bakery on 9th.” He told you.

“Lowkey, I’d do the same. Their cream puffs made me cream.” You said as you put your mask back on.

“Haha, yeah.” Peter chuckled. “Wait, what?”

“You should get some sleep. I’ll handle the robbery. But I’ll catch you tomorrow, Parker. Get home safe.” You saluted him before falling backwards off the building.

“I love you too.” Peter sighed.

“Did you say something?” You asked and popped back up.

“No.” Peter quickly lied.

“Okay. Well, see you tomorrow.” You waved to him and disappeared again. Peter let out another sigh before swinging home.

The next day, you ran after one of your classmates once class was let out.

“Hey, Carly. I emailed you my notes from the class you missed.” You told her.

“Thank you so much. You’re a life saver.” She replied. “Oh, and could you tell your boyfriend that band practice is in the gym today?”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.” You agreed. She was about to walk away when you realized what she had said.

“Wait, what am I saying?” You wondered. “Who’s my boyfriend?”

“You know. That guy with the prescription shoes.” Carly answered. You tilted your head in confusion until you realized you knew exactly who she was talking about.

“Wait, Peter?” You laughed in surprise. You expected her to laugh too and reveal she was just kidding but she looked completely serious.

“Oh, right. Peter. Why do I always think his name is Timmy?” Carly wondered.

“Because he looks like a Timmy. He gets it all the time.” You waved your hand. “And his shoes are not prescription. He just bought women’s platform shoes because he wanted to be taller and didn’t think anyone could tell.”

“We can.” Carly mumbled.

“I know.” You agreed. “But, I’m getting off topic. Timmy is not my boyfriend. I mean, Peter is not my boyfriend.”

“Whatever label you guys use, can you tell him that wind ensemble is meeting in the gym instead of the choir room? The sopranos kicked us out again to practice or do drugs or something.” Carly explained. You furrowed your eyebrows at her and tried to figure out if she was joking or not.

“The label? I’m so lost. Who told you that Peter’s my boyfriend?”

“Nobody told me.” She shrugged. “Everyone just knows that you guys are a couple.”

“Well how would they know something that isn’t true?” You asked and folded your arms.

“I mean, it’s not like you guys try to keep it a secret. Between all the whispering and staying close by each other. Plus you’re always sneaking out of class together or showing up late. And if one of you is absent, the other always is too. It’s been like that since high school. People just put two and two together I guess. Why, did you want to to be secret?”

“I didn’t want it to be anything. We’re not even dating.” You insisted and felt like you were going crazy.

“You don’t have to deny it.” Carly laughed. “I know feelings are weird and gross and stuff and you’ve never been the relationship type, but I think this guy is good for you. He brings something out in you. I don’t know. But you guys are cute. I love seeing the nice loser and assertive pretty girl troupe in real life.”

“Oh. Well, thank you.” You calmed down momentarily and smiled a little. Carly walked away and your smile quickly faded when you remembered what she had said. You looked around the hallway and saw another student holding an instrument.

“Hey. Band nerd.” You called out to him.

“Me?” He asked and pointed to himself.

“Yes, you. You had to let go of your saxophone case to point to yourself. Have you seen my boyfriend today?” You asked him.

“Peter? I haven’t seen him since yesterday in-“

“That sentence better not end with “wind ensemble” or I’m gonna lose it.”

“It was wind ensemble.” He said quickly.

“I’m leaving.” You shook your head and walked away from him. You pulled out your phone and went straight to your schools “campus sweethearts” page on instagram. Sure enough, there was a picture of you and Peter sitting next to each other right at the top of the page. You had your head thrown back laughing at something he was saying and he was looking at you fondly. You let out a shocked gasp and before walking out into the courtyard to look for Peter. You spotted him on a bench and smiled.

“Yes. Thank you, small campus”. You pumped your fist and went to sit next to him.

“Oh, hi. I was just thinking about you-“

“Someone is spreading a horrible rumor about you.” You cut him off.

“Oh no.” Peter frowned. “What is it? Is it bad?”

“Horrible.” You shook your head. “Peter, they’re saying you’re in wind ensemble.”

“Oh, I am.” Peter shrugged.

“Huh?”

“I play the clarinet . See. Clarinet.” Peter said and lifted up his little black clarinet case.

“Huh?” You said louder.

“I used to play in high school, pre-bite but post 9/11. I saw a flyer for orchestra on campus so I joined.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” You practically shouted. Peter knew you weren’t happy but felt strangely honored that you were so upset over him not telling you something about her personal life.

“Because I know how you feel about band nerds.” He replied. “And you and I don’t really talk about non-work related things. I didn’t think you’d care.”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I care.” You insisted. “My rumored boyfriend has been in wind ensemble this whole time and I didn’t even know?”

“Wait, rumored boyfriend? Who, me?” Peter asked in surprised.

“So you didn’t know about this either?”

“No. I mean, someone did refer to you as my girlfriend the other day but I thought it was just an accident. People think you and me are dating?” Peter asked and tried not to look as pleased as he felt.

“Apparently. I’ve had multiple people refer to you as my boyfriend today. And look. We’re on the campus couples Instagram page.” You said and held up your phone.

“Ew. We have one of those?” Peter grimaced and took your phone to see the picture better.

“Yeah. I honestly think the principle runs it.” You replied. Peter was quiet as he stared at the picture for a while.

“What?” You wondered.

“Nothing. This just a cute picture of us. And I think the only picture of us.” He said with a shy smile. You frowned and looked at the picture again before realizing he was right.

“Carly said people think we’re dating since we’re always sneaking off together.” You told him. Peter thought out this for a minute and then made another connection.

“Ohhhh.” He said and nodded his head.

“What?”

“This explains why the boys congratulated me on the bus back to New York after the Washington monument trip for losing my virginity at a historic landmark.”

“You lost your virginity on that trip? To who?” You whispered harshly and felt jealousy burning through your veins.

“You, apparently.” He laughed. “You and I disappeared to get the glowy alien egg bomb thing back and I guess everyone assumed we were off desecrating a national monument.”

“Oh my God. That was like 3 years ago.” You realized. “People have thought we were dating this whole time? We need to put a stop to this.”

“Yeah. You’re right. Or…” Peter trailed off and gave you a look.

“Or?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Or, we lean into it.” He suggested. “We let people think it. We encourage it, even.”

“Why would we do that?”

“People have been suspicious about where we go and what we’re doing since high school. We can only fake so many illnesses and I ran out of grandparents to lie about the death of by junior year. So if people already made up a reason, maybe we should let them think that. We don’t have to go out of our way to confirm it but we can keep the assumption going to keep them from finding out what we’re really doing.”

“So you think we should let people think we’re dating so they stop wondering about what we’re always off doing?”

“That’s exactly what I just said, yes.” Peter nodded.

“Hey. Be nicer to your fake girlfriend.” You said and smacked his arm.

“I’m sorry. I will.” Peter blushed and rubbed his arm. You felt bad for hitting him and wrapped both arms around him to rub them up and down. He smiled softly at you and you sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

“You play the clarinet?” You asked after a minute.

“Squidward made it look so cool.” Peter shrugged.

“Did he?” You asked, making Peter laugh.

“No.” He admitted.

The next day, you and Peter walked to school together with the understanding that from then on out, you were going to play the part of a happy couple. You weren’t going to go around announcing it to everyone or anything. You just needed to convince the few that didn’t already believe the rumor and confirm things for the ones who did believe it.

“You ready for this?” You asked Peter as you stepped into campus.

“I think so. Maybe we should hold hands or something. You know, since people think we’re dating.” Peter suggested and tried to make it sound like it didn’t matter to him.

“I guess so.” You shrugged and held out your hand. Peter eagerly took your hand and took note of the way it fit in his like it was made for him.

“This is weird.” You whispered to him, popping his bubble.

“Why? Are my hands sweaty?” He panicked.

“No. Just really, really hot.” You told him. “It’s just weird that nobody seems to care that we’re holding hands right now.”

“I mean, we are just two random people with almost no social presence.”

“That’s true. I guess I just thought people would care more.” You admitted as you looked around the campus. No one was phased by you and Peter, but he was too busy enjoying the moment to realize it.

“Are you disappointed?” He asked you.

“Yeah. I wore my best bra because I thought I’d be getting more attention today.” You frowned and adjusted the strap of your bra.

“It’s okay. I’ll take one for the team and stare at your boobs.” Peter assured you.

“Aw. Thank you.” You gushed and gave his hand a squeeze.

You got to your physics class and sat together at your usual lab table. Peter looked around the classroom while you carried on as usual.

“Maybe I should put my arm around you. You know, to really convince people.” Peter suggested with a shy blush on his face.

“Is that really something people do?” You genuinely wondered. “I feel like I never see couples with their arms around each other.”

“Actually, I don’t think I have either. But let’s try it anyway.” He said and wrapped an arm around you. You scooted closer to him so that you could comfortably lean into him. You quickly realized you didn’t hate it and let out a content sigh.

“Hm.” Peter made a little noise at the back of his throat.

“What?” You asked him.

“Our height difference makes this hurt my shoulder.” He leaned over to whisper in your ear.

“Then move your arm.” You whispered back.

“I can’t. I just wrapped it around you. It’ll look weird if I immediately take it off.” Peter said as he covered behind him to see who was looking.

“Or, consider this. Nobody in this entire city, and dare I say world, cares where your arm is right now.” You whispered harshly.

“Fine. I’ll remove it. But I have to give a reason.” He told you before loudly clearing his throat.

“Ah. Sorry, babe. I can’t cuddle you right now. My arm is sore from band practice.” Peter said loud enough for everyone in the classroom to hear him. You hung your head in shame and heard people murmuring about his strange comment.

“Oh God.” Peter gulped. “People are looking. They’re gonna know something is up. I have to put it back.”

He went to put his arm back around you but you stopped him before he could draw any more attention to the two of you.

“Just do this.” You whispered to him and pulled his stool closer to you and turned towards him a little. Your knees and were touching and you were now facing each other.

“That’s it? No one can even see this.” Peter said in disappointment. He thought being your fake boyfriend would bring you guys closer but you were sitting the way you always sat in class.

“It’s not about what people can see. It’s about proximity.” You explained. “We’re sitting closer together than anyone else is without being egregious about it. It’s a simple touch. If we’ve been together as long as people think we have, we don’t need to be wrapped around each other all the time. A simple touch to let the other know we’re there is all we need.”

Peter was silent as he stared at you following your explanation. He stared for so long that you felt yourself blush under the eye contact.

“What?” You asked him.

“I like the way you explain things.” Peter said simply. You quickly looked down so he wouldn’t see the effect that comment had on you and took a moment to collect yourself.

“It’s just something I thought of.” You shrugged.

“I know. But I never would have thought of that. Especially not as naturally as it did for you. You’re so quick.”

“Thank you.” You laughed shyly and found yourself unable to look away from him. Peter opened his mouth to say something to keep the momentum rolling but his phone interrupted him.

“Shoot. Sus-tivity on the b bridge.” He whispered.

“What the hell does that mean?” You asked at full volume.

“It means there’s suspicious activity on the Brooklyn bridge.” He rolled his eyes. “We have to act fast so I didn’t have time to say the whole thing.”

“But you just said the whole thing. And the abridged version. So it took twice as long.”

“Shh.” He waved his hand. “We gotta go.”

You reluctantly collected your things and took Peter’s hand to pull him out of his seat. Peter followed you out the classroom but the teacher cleared her throat when you walked by.

“And where are you two going?” She asked. You and Peter exchanged looks as the class snickered and murmured their theories about what exactly you were heading off to do.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Pepper. My girlfriend and I have to leave class unexpectedly. Please excuse us. It’s urgent.” Peter’s said politely.

“I bet it’s urgent, Parker.” A boy snickered, making serval classmates laugh.

“Gross.” You wrinkled your noses and looked at the boys in disdain.

“Fine.” The teacher sighed. “The only reason I don’t write you two up for skipping so often is because you somehow have the best grades in the class. Go on. Just get the homework done.”

“We will.” You assured her before leaving the room with Peter. Peter noticed that you didn’t drop his hand even when you were alone in the hallway.

“Hey, you know that teachers name is Dr. Zhang and not Dr. Pepper, right?” You asked him.

“Oh my God.” Peter gasped. “Is it really? I’ve emailed her so many times and said “Dear Dr. Pepper”. We have to drop out.”

You laughed and held his hand the rest of the way out of the building.

That night, Peter laid in his bed with his phone held close to his face. He had been trying to figure out what to text you to let you know he had been thinking of you.

“I had fun fighting crime with you today” He wrote out. He read it over before scrunching his nose.

“No. Too cringe. She is not gonna fall in love with someone that says “fighting crime”. I’m not Paw Patrol.” He said like it was obvious. He deleted his text and thought of another one.

“I had a good time today, we make a good team” He wrote out instead. He read it a few times until he found issue with it.

“Oh, you had a good time stopping those break dancers that were obstructing that Sbarro? That’ll catch her attention.” Peter said sarcastically and deleted the text.

“have a goodnight :)” He typed out and then shook his head.

“No. Wayyyy too horny.” He sighed and deleted it again.

“night” He wrote out and read it a few times.

“This is good. I can work with this.” He nodded. He was about to workshop it when a text from you popped up.

“pick a color” It said. Peters heart skipped a beat at the vague message and replied with the first color that popped into his head.

“blue”

“thank u” You wrote back within seconds. Peters heart stopped pounded and the disappointment that the conversation was over settled in. After all these years of fighting crime together, you two never really managed to make it past the coworkers stage. He was desperate for more but never knew how to get there.

“no homo but I had fun fighting crime with you today” You suddenly texted again. A smile tugged at Peter’s lips and he touched his as if it were your face.

“ok paw patrol” He wrote back. Back in your room, you were laughing at his text and trying to think of a witty reply.

“ur mad bc you know I’m the chase 🐶” You texted him.

“if ur the Chase then who am I?”

“plssss ur such a marshall” You wrote back.

“but that’s the third most important dog :(“ Peter replied.

“well yes but he’s cute and wears red so the little paw patrol shoe fits” You answered. A blush painted Peters cheeks over you calling him cute but he didn’t want to read too much into it.

“Im wearing red right now😳” He texted back.

“oh I bet you are” You answered, making him laugh. He kept the conversation going for about an hour before duty called once again. Peter groaned and put his suit on before swinging to the scene of the crime. He met you there and stopped the crime before stopping on a nearby rooftop to rest.

“These burglars aren’t very considerate of our sleep schedules. Who robs a Jersey Mikes after midnight? Or, like, ever?” Peter huffed as he tugged his mask off.

“I know. They’re always at inconvenient times. I was in the middle of painting my nails.”

“Can I see?” He asked in a soft voice. You pulled your gloves off and held out your hand for him to see.

“Look. Blue. But I only got half way through before Mike’s was targeted.”

“It’s okay. They still look pretty.” Peter complimented you with a soft smile.

“Thanks. You picked a good color.” You replied.

“What do you mean?” He frowned.

“I told you to pick a color. This is why.” You explained and held out your hand again. His eyes lit up at this new information and he took your hand to see your nails closer.

“You let me chose your nail color?” He smiled fondly.

“Well I didn’t know what to chose so I thought I’d ask the audience.” You shrugged and felt shy all of the sudden.

“Oh. And I’m the target audience, huh?” Peter smirked and turned towards you.

“I never said target.” You teased him and shoved him shoulder.

“I must be hearing things, then.” He shrugged as you both smiled.

“Yeah. Must be.” You said in a soft voice as you stared into his eyes. Peter gulped before making a bold move and taking your hand again under the guise of looking at your nails.

“Look at you. You even got my favorite shade.” He noted.

“You like “Eating For Blue”?” You pretended to gasp.

“Is that really the name of the color?” He laughed.

“Uh huh. It was apart of Essie’s baby fever collection. I almost chose “All In Blue Time” but that’s one tends to get little air bubbles and they give me agida. And I used to have “A Dream Come Blue” but it rolled under the sink so it belongs to the dust bunnies now.” You shrugged as you checked out your nails.

“Wow. This is all new information to me. So, are all nail polish colors named after puns and wordplay?” He asked as he stared into your eyes. He didn’t really care, but he was finally getting somewhere with you and didn’t want it to end.

“In my experience, yes. Not always color related wordplay but always something that makes you go yeah, I guess this shade of beige is what the word “ladylike” would be as a color.”

“This is blowing my mind right now.” Peter chuckled.

“You mean blue-ing your mind.” You corrected and tapped the side of your head.

“I think you inhaled too many of those fumes. Because that was not funny.” Peter said through a laugh.

“What?” You pretended to be offended. “You’re literally laughing right now. I’m so funny.”

“You are.” Peter admitted when his laughter died down. You stared into eyes for a minute before smiling.

“Is that what you rumored saw in me?” You asked him.

“Probably.” He chuckled. “I also heard a rumor that I think you’re really pretty. Like, the prettiest girl I was ever rumored to have allegedly seen.”

��Now you’re the one who’s looney from the fumes because that’s a straight up lie. I know you’ve seen prettier girls because I was standing right next to you when Anne Hathaway left that diner.” You said without making eye contact with him. Things were moving a little too fast and you needed it hit the brakes for a second.

“Oh, yeah. You’re right.” Peter forced a laugh and awkwardly looked over at the cityscape when he realized you were politely telling him to pull back.

“But I appreciate it.” You said after a beat of silence.

“Of course. Sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking saying that.” He laughed nervously. “I was just getting caught up in the fake dating. We’ve been doing it for so long that it felt real.”

“We only started this morning.” You reminded him.

“Right. Well, it’s late. I’m gonna go home.” He said quickly and stood up. He had just blown that and needed to leave as quickly as possible.

“Okay. Goodnight. See you at school.” You called after him. Peter swung home with tears in his eyes and went straight to bed, missing your text about having fun fighting another crime.

The next day at school, Peter decided to start over and push last night from his mind. He played the part of your boyfriend to the best of his abilities and opened every door, pulled out every seat, and carried ever book for you all day long. Then he did it the next day, and the day after that. He kept his mouth shut about his feelings day in and day out no matter how painful it was getting. You and Peter had finally moved past the coworker stage and become real friends so he didn’t want to sabotage it all by telling you that he spent his days wishing for more.

“What are your plans tonight?” You asked him one day as you walked out of class together.

“My aunt is going out with her friends so I was probably gonna watch a movie on my couch. But on my laptop with my earbuds in. Likely in my boxers. Likely with an entire package of Twizzlers. Why?”

“Well I was gonna suggest that we hang out but you sound booked.”

“Really? You want to hang out?” Peter asked with much more enthusiasm than he intended.

“If you want. I’m not doing anything as exciting as boxers and Twizzlers.”

“I would love to. I’ll put on pants for you. I promise.”

“Sounds good.” You laughed. “Text me your address, okay?”

“Sure. Or you could walk with me now. Unless you’re tired of me and need a break before we hang out.” Peter suggested as you left campus together.

“It’s funny you say that. I was just telling my mom the other day that I never get tired of you.” You said casually.

“You..you don’t?” Peter’s face heated up as he followed you down the sidewalk.

“I don’t. I usually need a break from other people if we’ve been together awhile but it’s different with you. It doesn’t feel like I’m using my social battery if that makes sense.“

“It makes sense.” He smiled shyly as your hands bumped against each others. He was about to make a bold move and take your hand despite no one being around but you suddenly moved it to hit the crosswalk button.

Back at Peter’s apartment, he awkwardly gave you a tour and wished he had picked up his clothes before leaving the house that morning. You didn’t seem to mind the socks and boxers strewn across his room because you were too focused on all the little things he kept on his shelves. You picked up a picture frame of your freshman year high school class that had you and Peter seated right next to each other. Your friendship had only just begun so you often forgot how long you knew him for.

“So this is your room.” You smiled and put the picture back.

“Yup. This is where the magic happens.” Peter said and immediately cringed at himself.

“Oh really?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. This is where I practice magic. Wanna see?” He asked and picked up a deck of cards. You laughed and went over to take one.

“Is your card the ace of spades?” He asked.

“Queen of hearts.” You snorted and turned the card around.

“You’re the queen of my heart.” He whispered.

“Did you say something?” You asked as you looked at all his Legos.

“I asked what you wanted to do tonight.” He lied.

“I don’t know. We have the place to ourselves. We could do something rated R.” You said with a coy smile.

“Like what?” Peter gulped.

“Watch an R rated movie, you perv. Your aunt isn’t here to stop you.”

“You remember me telling you that I’m not allowed to watch R rated movies in the living room anymore?” Peter blushed at you remembering something he had randomly told you long ago.

“Are you referring to the time you watched Tusk at full volume while she had her friends from work over for the first time? How could I forget?”

“In my defense, I didn’t know what the movie was about. And I didn’t think her friends were gonna come into the living room and see that guy getting turned into a walrus.”

“Yeah, the title and cover art gave no indication that the movie would end that way. But that’s not a bad idea actually. Let’s watch something scary.”

“Okay.” Peter agreed and followed you out into the living room. He turned off the lights and got some snacks while you picked a movie. He hated scary movies but he was not about to tell you that. Instead, he sat on the couch beside you as a respectful distance and handed you a bag of chips. As the movie went on, you got closer and closer to each other. Peter had never really seen you scared before but you were practically in his lap just 40 minutes into the movie. You reached into the bag of chips at the same time as Peter and your fingers touched. You both froze and looked at each other as your faces heated up.

“Shit. I’m not wearing a condom.” Peter sighed, making you yank your hand out and laugh.

“You’re stupid.” You laughed and turned back to the movie just as a jump-scare happened. You screamed and jumped closer to Peter.

“This is so scary. Why did I pick this movie?” You asked as you drew your knees up and leaned into his side.

“Yeah, same.” He replied, not even listening. He couldn’t hear anything over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. You were cuddled into his side with your head on his shoulder and knees in his lap with a blanket drawn up to your nose. He knew you were only cuddling him because you were scared but it didn’t even matter at that point. The movie went quiet for a minute and then made a loud sound, sending you to burry your face into Peter’s neck.

“Tell me when it’s safe to come out.” You whispered into his ear. Peter gulped and wrapped an arm around you to fully protect you from the movie.

“I will.” He said in a soft voice. You peaked your head out a few minutes later but stayed nestled into Peter’s side. You realized his arm was around you and smiled a little.

“Oh, this isn’t so bad.” You shrugged as the main character got eaten alive.

“I don’t understand you.” Peter chuckled and looked down at you. You laughed as well as you looked into his eyes. He was about to say something when another sharp sound from the movie caused you to jump.

“Hold my hand.” You blurted and grabbed his hand. Peter happily accepted and clasped your hand before holding it under his chin. You stayed in that position for a long time and watched the movie. You were both so focused on the screen that you didn’t hear May opening the front door and coming in.

“Hey. I’m home.” She said, making you both scream.

“Oh, hi May.” Peter greeted while he realized it was just her.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Parker. I’m-“

“I know.” She smirked. “I’ll just be in my room. But, Peter?”

“Yeah?”

“No going in your room with the door closed, okay? I’m home. And we have thin walls. Just keep that in mind.” She said, making Peter turn bright red.

“Got it, May.” He mumbled. She winked at you and disappeared into her bedroom.

“You told your aunt we were dating?” You whispered to Peter in confusion.

“No.” Peter answered honestly. “I guess she just assumed we were.”

“Wow. She’s just like the kids at school.” You shook your head. “I don’t get it. Why does everyone think we’re dating?”

“I mean…” Peter trailed off and looked down at your clasped hands. You hadn’t realized you were still cuddling and quickly jumped off of him. Peters heart sank and the longer he sat in the absence of your body heat, the more upset he felt.

“You just jumped off of me like I was sharp.” He said without looking at you.

“I didn’t want your aunt to see us cuddling and think-“

“And think what?” He snapped, cutting you off. You gutted your head back in surprise and let out a nervous laugh.

“Woah. What’s going on with you? She already knows about your secret life. We don’t have any reason to pretend we’re dating in front of her.”

Peter stared at you for a long time as the word “pretend” cut into him like a knife. Every time he thought you were going somewhere, he was reminded that it didn’t actually mean anything to you.

“Yeah. You’re right.” He mumbled and looked at the movie again. You kept your eyes on him and felt guilty. You had so much to say to him but you felt unable to speak.

“Peter-“

“I don’t think we should pretend to date anymore.” He blurted, cutting you off once again. Your eyebrows went up in surprise and you got a sick feeling in your tummy that you had just ruined something really important.

“What? Why not?”

“It’s stupid. No one even cares anymore.” He shrugged. “We don’t have to fake a breakup or anything but I don’t want to hold hands or play along anymore. I’m done.”

“What changed?” You asked in a soft voice. He was still looking at the movie while you were fully turned to face him.

“Nothing changed. That’s the problem.” He said and angrily got off the couch. You quickly caught his hand and he stopped. He looked down at the ground and let out a sigh. He knew it wasn’t fair to be mad at you if he hadn’t told you what was wrong. He slowly turned around and looked at you.

“Five years ago, you showed up to the same robbery at an all night CVS that I was at and I realized we knew each other from AP Spanish class because I had asked you earlier that day how to conjugate “poner” and you said “pusiste” and I laughed because I thought you were joking but you weren’t and then that night you heard me tell the burglar that he better“pusiste” the money back into the register.“ Peter began.

“Okay. Wow. That was a really long sentence.” You laughed softly. “But I remember that. I laughed and told you that you better remember that for the test.”

“You did. That’s how I knew it was you.” He smiled at the memory. “I failed that test, by the way. I still can’t conjugate “poner.” And I still think it means “boner” even though I know it’s a verb. But anyway, that night, I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited to have met you. Even though we technically already knew each other, that night put us in each others radars. I could not believe that I had met my match. You’re into science like me and sarcastic like me and you understand this side of my life because you have the same side. But despite running into each other on patrol almost nightly and seeing each other around school, I barely got you to notice me. I don’t think you even knew my name until we ended up going the same college. You called me “Timmy” all throughout high school.”

“You seriously look like one. It’s uncanny. I don’t know what it is.”

“I thought things would change when I found out we were going to the same college. The campus is so small I figured there’s no way we wouldn’t become friends. But even then, we hardly ever talked and when we did it was always about work. I didn’t even know where you lived until last semester.”

“I remember that too. The first night we really bonded was when you fell off that roof because you were trying to show me how to do a backflip.”

“Yeah, I’ve never been able to do a backflip.” He admitted. “I only said I could because you said you always wanted to learn how to do one and I assumed given my abilities I’d be able to do one if I just followed my body. But I busted my ass and you were kind enough to sneak me through your window and patch me up with some Scooby Doo bandaids.”

“It was all I had.” You shrugged.

“And you gave it to me anyway. Because you’re kind and compassionate and I’m just…I’m crazy about you.” Peter finally admitted. “I was so excited when we started hanging out more this semester but it always ended up crushing me when I remembered that we just doing it to keep people from finding out the truth. I really, really love our friendship and if I’m ruining it all by saying all this then at least I can die with it off my chest.”

“Wait, now I’m confused. Are you dying?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “It feels like I am every time you and I start to get close and then I remember this is all pretend for you.”

“So it’s not pretend for you?” You asked quietly. Peter stared into your heads for a minute and then shook his head.

“No. I was never pretending. I like you.” He told you. Your facial expression didn’t change as you stared back at him. Peter was really starting to panic until a smile tugged at your lips.

“Sit back down.” You told him.

“I’m sat.” He said and rushed it sit down. You nestled back into his side and laid your head down on his shoulder. Peter smiled and rested his head on top of yours, finally pleased with the way a conversation with you went. You both turned your attention back to the movie just in time for it to end.

“Hm.” You huffed. “That was supposed to be us symbolically finishing the movie as a real couple but it appears we’ve already arrived at the credits. Now what?”

“We could watch Tusk.” Peter suggested at the same time you said “We could make out.”

“I never actually saw Tusk but I always wanted to.” You gasped and hit his arm with excitement.

“Or we could do your thing.” Peter forced a laugh and tried not to sound as desperate as he felt.

“Let me see if I can find it.” You said as you scrolled through the streaming services on his TV.

“Or we could do your thing.”

Tag List 🏷️

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[avatar-anna]

I was thinking you could do a “5 times y/n told Harry she was pregnant” for the young!dad series !! That would be so interesting especially since in the last piece you mentioned that Harry already had a feeling she was pregnant before she even told him

The Thing About Having Six Kids

so i got this ask and a couple others that were kind of about the kids' birth/pregnancy a while ago, and went with five different instances about each kid in the youngdadrry universe. it's all surrounding their birth, finding out about pregnancies, etc. enjoy!

Young Dad! Harry x Young Mom! Reader

Simone

(a text conversation between Harry and Y/n)

Y/n: i'm pregnant

(one day later)

Y/n: Harry?

Harry: Are you sure?

Y/n: i'm sure

Y/n: i have four different pregnancy tests to prove it

Harry: I don't know what to say.

Y/n: the 24 hours it took you to respond kind of told me that

Harry: I'm sorry about that. It's just...a lot

Y/n: it's fine i guess. at least you finally responded.

Harry: Did you think I wouldn't?

Y/n: honestly? yeah. it's not like we're married or in love or anything. you don't even live in the same country as me

Harry: What are you going to do?

Harry: I know but I wouldn't just like disappear on you

Harry: I was just shocked that's all

Y/n: idk. i'm still trying to figure out a way to tell my parents

Harry: Shit my parents!

Y/n: that's kinda where i'm at right now

Y/n: but i think i want to keep it

Y/n: the baby

Y/n: fuck that sounds crazy to say. i have physics homework due tomorrow but let me stop and make a life altering decision really quick about whether i want to have a baby or not

Harry: I'm sorry. You know...

Y/n: for getting me pregnant? knocking me up? putting a bun in the oven?

Harry: It seems too early to joke about this

Y/n: it's keeping me from freaking the fuck out at the moment

(ten minutes later)

Harry: I want to talk about this properly and figure this whole thing out but I have to go

Y/n: please don't feel obligated or anything. this was just a courtesy

Y/n: i don't expect anything from you. i get it if your management wants you to delete my number and never see me again. i just thought you should know.

Harry: What are you talking about?

Harry: Y/n?

3 missed calls from Him <3

Collette

"Let's have another baby."

Y/n was close to nodding off, so it was very possible that she was dreaming. She looked behind her. It was dark in the bedroom, but Harry was close enough that she could see him, could see that his head was propped on his elbow so he could look down at her.

"What did you say?" she asked, because she needed to be sure.

"I...I want another baby," he said, voice soft even though they were the only two people in the room. Simone was fast asleep in her own bedroom, tuckered out after a long day of playing at the park and eating ice cream and fingerpainting with Harry. Now that One Direction was officially on hiatus, it was just the three of them—Y/n, Harry, and Simone. Y/n thought it would take some getting used to, living a relatively normal life. But their little family actually fell into it quite easily.

Perhaps a little too easily.

"Say something."

Y/n hadn't realized she failed to respond, but to be fair, that was a pretty big bomb her husband just dropped. Her husband. They'd been married for a few months now, but it still felt surreal, which was probably why the idea of having another baby felt too far from reality to comprehend.

"I just...I don't know what to say," Y/n said honestly. "I—I'm not sure we're ready for that."

"We weren't ready the first time," Harry said when Y/n finally flipped on her other side to face him. This seemed like a conversation he really wanted to have, so she thought facing him would probably be best. "I just think this might be the time, you know? I don't have an insane schedule anymore, there's no more management to say that we can't, and I've always thought about giving Simone a sibling. Don't tell me you've never thought about it."

"I...I have," Y/n said.

She did think about more kids. As young as she and Harry were and as impossible as their relationship seemed at times, Y/n couldn't help but think about wanting more. She loved Harry, and she'd been loving these moments they'd been able to share as a proper family recently. Harry was right, if they wanted to have another baby, now would be the time.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he said as she felt more than saw his hand push some hair away from her face.

"What happens when you start working again?" Y/n asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you, H," she said. "And I love you. Everything about you. And one of the parts that make you who you are is the music. This...this little bubble we're in, I love it too, but I know you'll want to go back to it someday. And then you'll go on tour for ten months, and I'll be alone to raise two kids by myself for a majority of the year."

It was harsh, but she trusted him enough to take it. This was the thought that always held her back. Y/n thought about the possibility of expanding their family on more than one occasion, especially in recent weeks when things have been practically perfect. But the reality was that Harry would want to go back to work. She knew, maybe better than anyone, the desire he had to make his own music, to create and write in ways he couldn't while in the band. And perform. Harry loved to perform live. Y/n knew that this time spent with just their family was fleeting, and she cherished every minute of it, the same way she knew Harry did. It was only a matter of time before he went back to work, and she wasn't sure she could raise Simone and a newborn without him.

"That's...That's all over now," Harry said. When Y/n tried to protest, he continued on. "What I meant to say was, the ridiculous schedules, the strict rules about when we can and can't spend time together, the separate hotel rooms. Mama, things can be different now."

"But management—"

"I bought out my contract," he said. "I haven't really given it much thought in a while because I just want to be present with you and Simone, but I've got a few people in mind for new managers. People who will prioritize our family."

This was certainly news to Y/n. It was hard to talk about Harry's management or the harsh thumb they pinned him under, so oftentimes it was a topic they avoided. Hearing him say this now, knowing how much money it would've taken to buy out his contract...that was a huge deal. As far as she knew, the other boys were just sticking with it until the contracts were finished. But Harry went and did what Y/n didn't even think was possible.

"Our family," Y/n repeated, and for a moment, she could see it. The three of them becoming four. It was crazy to think about, to think so far ahead into the future, but Y/n wasn't scared by it.

"Let's have another baby," Harry said again.

Looking at him, Y/n's heart squeezed in her chest. He'd been growing his hair out for a while now, and it was long enough that it reached just passed his shoulders. She loved it, thought it made him look older, more mature. And okay, hot. And Simone loved it too. She loved braiding it and putting bows and flowers in it or just twisting it around her finger. His shoulders were broad and lean, though he'd put on a little muscle in his arms from doing handiwork around the house, something he claimed he loved to do even though Y/n had heard him curse from another room while he worked on his latest project.

She looked at his face, the one that looked so different yet so similar to the one she'd met when she was seventeen. She wondered what those teenagers would think of the people they'd become, of the things they'd seen and experienced.

She thought about it. The baby-to-be. It would have Harry's eyes and smile, her nose and hair color. If it was a girl, she could wear matching outfits with Simone, if it was a boy...Well, they could maybe still match. Y/n thought about all the baby clothes—the adorable little onesies and shoes and mittens to keep the baby from scratching their face while they slept. She didn't let herself think of the late nights and sore boobs and dirty diapers. In this moment, she just thought about all the good feelings, every perfect moment that could be.

"You promise things will be different? I can't—I can't do it alone," she said, needing to hear him say it again.

Harry didn't try to kiss her, he didn't put his hands on her waist or pull her to his chest—all tactics he would normally use to distract her. This conversation was too serious, too important, and she loved him all the more for understanding that.

"I promise, Y/n," he said, taking her hand in his and squeezing it. "I will never make you regret living this life with me."

"That's not what I—"

"I know, but I just...I needed to say it."

He needed to make that promise to her, to himself. Life had not been easy, and Y/n knew Harry blamed himself for a lot of the hardships they faced.

"I don't," she said, kissing their joined hands. "And I won't. Ever. "

Harry grinned, and Y/n could tell even in the dark that his gaze was a little watery. Still, he inched forward and said, "So...?"

Y/n leaned forward and kissed him, her leg slotting between his. "Let's have another baby."

Maeve and Jules

"I'm sorry, did you just say twins?"

"I did. I'm seeing two heartbeats here. See?" The doctor said, pointing at the monitor she'd been observing closely the last five minutes.

Y/n couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. It was one thing to be pregnant (again), but an entirely different one to be pregnant with twins. "That's—"

"Amazing," Harry breathed.

Y/n turned her head away from the monitor to look at her husband, whose eyes were glued to the screen with a look of wonder in them. As she'd begun to process her own feelings about housing not one but two babies in her belly for nine months, she hadn't really considered how he might feel about it.

Looking at him now, she could tell he was ecstatic.

Y/n was still panicking a little, but seeing the elation on Harry's face was comforting. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it hard, needing to feel the warmth of his palm to ground her.

"Hey," he said softly, bending down to kiss the top of her head. "This is a good thing. Unexpected, but good."

"I know," Y/n said, letting out a shaky breath. "I know it's just...a lot. I mean...twins?"

"Nothing we can't handle," Harry said, kissing her cheek.

His confidence was reassuring. Maybe he was freaking out on the inside and not letting it show for her sake, but Y/n felt better about the situation at hand and was ready to continue with the appointment.

To the doctor, she said, "Are they healthy?"

The doctor smiled warmly. "They are. It looks like one of them is about a week behind, but that's nothing to worry about."

"Really? They're twins. That doesn't seem possible," Harry said, his brow furrowing adorably.

"It's rare, but it is possible. Fraternal twins can be conceived as much as twenty-four days apart," the doctor said.

Y/n understood perhaps a split-second before Harry, but when he did, he turned as beet red as she felt. The doctor didn't seem to mind their embarrassment, though she'd probably seen all sorts of couples and situations. Y/n imagined there wasn't much that the doctor hadn't seen before.

The appointment wrapped up pretty quickly after that. Harry snuck out of the hospital through a separate door while Y/n set up her next appointment. She met him in the staff parking lot, where he was standing by the passenger door to help her in. Harry gave her a quick kiss before closing her in and walking around to the driver's side. As he drove, Y/n was thinking about a number of things—twice the amount of clothes, twice the amount of crying, twice the amount of diaper changes. She was excited at the prospect of having a baby. It was a conversation she and Harry had before they started trying, but the idea of twins was a lot to wrap her head around.

She looked at Harry, wanting to ask how he felt now that they were alone, but she stopped herself.

Harry had one hand on the steering wheel, the other covering a wide grin. He was blushing a little too, and Y/n couldn't help but ask what had him smiling like an idiot.

"I'm trying to figure out which times," he said.

"What do you mean which—Are you kidding? Which times we conceived the twins?"

"Aren't you curious?" Harry asked. "Twice, babe. I put a baby in you twice. I mean, one of them had to be when we were on the yacht, right? I always feel good after we have sex, but I feel like we really outdid ourselves there. Clearly."

Y/n just looked at her husband in shock. "You are..."

"What? It's cool!" Harry insisted, but he was laughing too. "And it takes the edge off a little. Come on, you try."

So he was more nervous than he was letting on. That was comforting in its own way too, but Y/n appreciated his attempts to lighten the mood. They could have a serious conversation later, but for now it was fun to just forget all of that. Just for a moment.

Y/n gave him a dry look, trying to appear like she wasn't impressed until she eventually rolled her eyes and smiled. "Mm...I agree with the yacht, and...when you came back from London."

"Really?" Harry asked, more curious than surprised.

"Yeah," Y/n said with a little sigh as she remembered the night in question. "That was a good night."

It was one of those rare occurrences where Simone was in her own bed and Collette managed to sleep for more than a couple hours. They'd spent the whole night catching up and giggling like idiots and kissing and enjoying the pleasure of being truly alone with each other. Y/n loved those moments with Harry, where everything was just so simple and easy and it was just them having a little fun. They definitely should've been catching up on sleep while they could, but neither of them wanted to, so they stayed up with tired smiles and slurred movements until they heard Collette's cries through the baby monitor.

"It was. We should do that again sometime," Harry said. Taking Y/n's hand, he kissed the tops of her knuckles.

"You just want to go for triplets," Y/n teased, even though she knew that wasn't what he meant.

"I'm not that crazy," he said, but his smile told her he was thinking about the possibility. Maybe just a little. "I'm excited for this."

"Yeah? What do you think? Boys? Girls? A boy and a girl?"

Harry shrugged. "Our track record would suggest girls, but..."

"You never know," Y/n finished for him.

Geneva

"We have some pretty big news to share."

Once a month, the Styles family held a Zoom call with their friends and family who were scattered across the globe. Since lockdown began, there was a lot of adjusting—online school, not being able to go to the park to play, being at home all day. It was a lot for everyone, but Harry and Y/n did their best to make the adjustments smoother. And when they needed a break, they set up the monthly Zoom calls.

They were mostly just to catch up. Once all the children went to sleep, Harry and Y/n stayed up late talking to other adults about everything and nothing, maybe even played a different drinking game or two to round out the night before they went back to being parents. Tonight was a special night, though.

Multiple faces looked at Harry and Y/n expectantly through their computer screen. Both of them were sporting big smiles as Y/n leaned on Harry's side, one of his older sweatshirts covering her body and the almost imperceptible bump that was beginning to show now. Today was the first day she'd begun to show, and Harry nearly lost his mind with excitement. Finding out Y/n was pregnant had been somewhat of a surprise, but when she told him, he was over the moon. He's started to suspect, having recognized some of his wife's symptoms by now, but they'd been waiting for the right time to tell their families and friends, and tonight was the night.

"What's going on, darling?" Anne asked.

Neither Harry nor Y/n could barely contain their excitement, which probably gave away the news before they actually said anything. However, in their own eagerness to share the news, neither of them saw a few people on the call sporting knowing looks.

"We're having a baby!"

Cheers went all around as everyone congratulated the couple. Questions were asked about due dates and how far along they were and what they were going to do about the lockdown situation. Everything was just as Harry had hoped it would be.

And then things took an interesting turn.

"Who won?" Jeff asked.

"Won? What do you mean—"

"If my math is correct, which I'm pretty sure it is, I believe it goes to Gem," Sarah said, looking down at her phone. "She went with three and a half months. Glenne narrowly missed with three. No one had four so it goes to Gemma."

A collective groan went throughout the Zoom, leaving Harry and Y/n very confused.

"Did you place bets on us?" Y/n asked, sounding more astonished than offended.

"When lockdown became permanent, we knew it was a matter of when not if we would be getting the announcement," Jeff explained. "Someone has a physical copy of the pool somewhere."

"And all of you did this? Mum?" Harry said, brows raised higher than Y/n had ever seen them. When Anne nodded sheepishly, Y/n had to stifle a laugh. "So none of you were surprised?"

"I love you, dear, and I'm so so happy for you, but since you were seventeen, anytime you've come to me with big news, it's been about having a baby. For my own sanity, I've just come to expect it."

Harry looked down at Y/n, who was grinning behind her hand. For her husband's sake, her gaze softened as she reached up to kiss his cheek. "I mean, they have a point. Even you guessed it before I told you."

As the shock finally wore off, Harry smiled. He supposed it wasn't the worst thing in the world. So, he and Y/n were predictable, even though they hadn't really been trying this time around. They were in love and had a lot more time together currently. Things were finally back on track for them and their relationship troubles seemed behind them now. They were happy, and as long as his family was happy, some light teasing and bet placing seemed harmless.

He did pin everyone on the screen with a mock glare before moving on, though. "You guys made a whole pool. Really?"

"Yeah. Can you believe Jeff thought it would take eight months for you to get pregnant?"

"It was for the adjustment to lockdown period!"

"Eight months?"

And on and on it went. Harry just smiled and rested his hand over Y/n's belly, thinking about how much it would grow in just a few short weeks.

Natalia

"I want Mommy!"

Harry sighed and pulled his only son into his lap, pushing the curls away from his face and wiping the tears from his cheeks. "I know you do, JuJu."

Harry and the kids were waiting to hear from Y/n's mother, but he hadn't gotten so much as a text. He was anxious, worried that something was wrong, but Julian's crying served as a good distraction for the time being.

Julian continued to cry, still not understanding why he couldn't see his mother when he'd become so used to seeing her everyday. Harry would've been with Y/n had it not been for the little boy's crying, and he made the split-second decision to stay home while Y/n delivered the baby with her mother as support. He'd never missed any of his children's births, but for this, he could stay behind.

"She'll be back soon, bubba, I promise," Harry said, kissing Julian's cheeks and holding him close. "Should we go play with your Lego set? I know you've been excited to build it. Maybe we can build something to show Mummy when she gets home."

Julian shook his head and continued to cry into Harry's neck. Realizing his son was content to be miserable, Harry didn't ask again. He sat with Jules for a while, holding the boy to his chest and running a hand through his hair until his sobs turned into sniffles, and the sniffles into long, slow breaths. He waited a few extra minutes before taking Julian up to his room and setting him on his bed, making sure to place his favorite stuffed animal in his arms before leaving him to sleep off his troubles. As he walked away, Harry sort of wished he could do the same.

Every birth had been different. When Y/n had Simone, it hadn't been extraordinarily long, but it was extraordinarily stressful due to their young age. Collette was a fairly quick birth, perhaps a little too quick, seeing as Y/n barely made it to a hospital bed before the baby started crowning. The twins came early, which was apparently common for twins, but that didn't make it any less surprising to Harry and Y/n, especially because Harry was at the grocery store and Y/n was at the park with Simone and Collette and a nanny who was also there had to call an ambulance. Even still, Geneva's birth was probably the scariest, only because of all the rules and regulations brought on by Covid. Y/n's mother quarantined for two weeks so she could stay at the house while Harry and Y/n went to the hospital, as Y/n could only have one person in the room with her.

And now a year later, they were doing it all over again. Harry had been confident that this birth would go off without a hitch, that everything would be just fine, but the lack of word from his wife or mother-in-law made him nervous.

Later that day, Harry was still waiting. He'd gotten a text from Y/n's mother, which let him know that Y/n still wasn't ready to push but that they were getting close. That was an hour ago, and Harry had to believe that it was all happening now.

And he was missing it.

He knew being here with the rest of his children was important. That they were worried about their mother and probably found Harry's presence comforting. He just wished they could all be there in the waiting room instead of at home and fifteen minutes from the hospital. The not-knowing was killing him, and he was pretty sure his kids could sense it.

"Daddy?"

Harry's eyes flicked to where Collette was standing in the doorway of his bedroom. She was in her pajamas, a shirt and matching pair of bottoms with her favorite cartoon on them. Harry had been pacing around his room, his phone gripped tightly in his hand as he waited for someone to call him, but seeing his second daughter standing there, squinting at the light from his bedside table lamp told him he was up a little later than normal.

"Hi, peanut. What are you doing out of bed?" he asked.

Collette shrugged, her hair catching the light. She wiped at her nose and stepped further into the room until she stood in front of him. "Mommy always braids my hair before I go to sleep."

"She does, doesn't she?" Harry agreed. "She's kind of the best, huh?"

Nodding, Collette turned toward his bed and climbed up on it, looking at him expectantly. Even after having four daughters, Harry wasn't an expert at braiding hair. The girls always went to Y/n before school, and she did each of their braids or ponytails or pigtails happily. Harry always made sure to watch with a keen eye, and practiced on Y/n when she let him. He supposed now it was time to put all his practice to work.

The braiding didn't take long, and Harry didn't do half bad, in his humble opinion. Collette was just going to sleep in it anyway, so he wasn't too bummed by the few loose strands that he'd somehow missed.

He'd finished rather quickly, though Collette didn't slide off the bed to go back to her room. In fact, she nestled under the covers on Y/n's side of the bed, mumbling, "Night Daddy," before falling asleep. Harry didn't really mind. It wasn't the first time one of the kids stayed in his and Y/n's bed, and tonight, he figured he could use some company.

What he wasn't expecting was all of his children to stumble into his room. First it was Maeve, then Jules, then Simone, and finally Harry went to get Geneva, just so it was a proper sleepover. No one fought for space—which was a first. All the kids just found their spot and went back to sleep as if they were in their own rooms. Harry resisted the urge to take a picture so as not to wake anyone up with the flash of his phone's camera.

He hadn't planned on falling asleep. One moment he'd been watching a football game with the volume off, and the next he was blinking his eyes open as the sun began to stream in through the curtains. All of his little ones were still fast asleep, though Harry knew that would change soon. Maeve and Simone woke up early to watch morning cartoons, and Geneva would want her bottle within the hour.

Harry began to shuffle around and prepare for the usual morning routine—brush teeth, ok prepare the bottle, make breakfast for the early risers—when his phone rang. Startled, Harry rushed over to where his phone was plugged in, a huge grin splitting his face when he realized it was a video call from Y/n.

"Hi," Harry whispered, careful not to wake anyone up. "How are you? How's the baby? Is everything—"

"I'm fine, H. Everything's fine. Everything's perfect," Y/n said, a sleepy smile on her face.

Hearing that helped his heart stop racing, but only a little, as excitement flooded his veins. Y/n called him, which could only mean that—

"Wanna meet your daughter?" Y/n said, and even through the phone, Harry could see tears line her eyes.

Harry nodded, too overwhelmed with love and anticipation to form words. Quickly, he found an unoccupied spot on his bed and carefully sat down.

Y/n passed the phone to her mother who angled the phone so that Harry could see the baby, whose face was just barely visible through a pink blanket. He immediately felt tears well in his eyes, his throat going dry as he looked down at his daughter. Even through the phone, he felt every emotion he'd ever experienced when meeting his children for the first time. It was the most unique experience, Harry always thought. He'd seen and done so much, yet he still thought there was nothing like looking down at his newborn baby for the first time.

"Is that baby sister?"

Harry looked behind him to find Julian peering over his shoulder. Jules looked at the sleeping baby curiously, taking in his sister's little nose and tiny fingers and pouted lips. Then, he said, "Is Mommy there too?"

The camera panned up to Y/n, who was smiling and blowing kisses to Julian. "Hi JuJu, my love. I've missed you!"

"Mommy!"

"Mommy?"

"Mommy's home?"

Now everyone was up and crowding around Harry, taking turns talking to Y/n and baby sister, who had yet to be given a name. No one seemed to mind, though. If anything, they were more concerned about when Y/n and the baby would be coming home so they could have a party.

"Soon, my loves. The doctor wants me and the baby to stay one more night to make sure we're healthy. You think you can be good for Daddy?"

There was a chorus of yeses before everyone said their goodbyes, the novelty of a new baby sister wearing off when there were cartoons to be watched downstairs. Harry kept Y/n on the phone while he got Geneva's bottle ready, wanting to stay on the phone as long as possible.

"I know you must be tired," Harry said an hour later. He was in GiGi's nursery and watching her toddle around and play with her toys while talking to his wife.

"I'll hang up soon. I want you to get as much screen time as possible before I go," she said, turning the camera to where the baby was sleeping in the bassinet beside her hospital bed.

"Have you given her a name yet?" he asked.

Y/n shook her head. "I know we decided on one, but I wanted you to be with me when I said it for the first time."

"I love you," Harry said as his heart melted to mush.

"I love you too," Y/n said. She lifted the baby out of the bassinet, cradling her head with the expertise of someone who'd done it for years. Looking at Harry through the phone she said, "You wanna do the honors?"

Laughing out of pure bliss, he nodded. With all the tenderness and care he would've used if he'd been there in person, he said, "Welcome to this crazy, crazy world, Natalia Styles."

[rayshippouuchiha]

The Lone Wolf Dies

End-Class Princess: the Other Assassin

In which Takeshi looses the plot, Kurokawa Hana ends up dragging him along with it anyway, and a dog starts to revert to a wolf.

—

The first day of middle school, Takeshi hears some classmates sniggering about a prank they played on Sawada-Chan. They seem so pleased with themselves, at the reaction that Hibari-Senpai will have when she makes it to school tomorrow. Takeshi frowns slightly. Sawada-Chan is nice. She didn’t deserve that. He resolved to try and be extra nice to her when she came back.

—

Takeshi is restless. Sawada-Chan hasn’t been at school all week. They’d had a test already, and everyone had laughed about his low scores, saying that at least he had baseball. It stung worse than usual, turning his head slightly and not seeing a distressed pair of brown eyes and wringing hands. He hadn’t realized that he kept an eye out for her, or noticed that she worried about his grades. It’s been a week, surely she’s not sick? Hibari-Senpai has been rougher than usual too.

—

It’s a month into the new school year, and it feels like he’s the only one who’s noticed that Sawada-Chan hasn’t shown up. Everyone else seems to be forgetting about her altogether, except Kurokawa-San. She occasionally glances at a particular empty desk and frowns.

—

Takeshi squints his eyes shut to hide his irritation, flashing a toothy grin. To be honest, it feels more like he’s baring his teeth. The baseball team is getting on his nerves. Before, he’d been able to work it out on the diamond, the sheer physicality and camaraderie of the team pulling together soothing him. But as the weeks drag on, it works less and less. The team favors him as a star player, but they seem to be pulling less of their own weight.

He tells himself he’s just being overly sensitive. This year has just been unusually stressful. Once he adjusts to middle school, it’ll get better.

(He glances at an empty desk, than away. He accidentally locks eyes with Kurokawa-San doing the same. Maybe he should see if she wants to talk.)

—-

Kurokawa-San seems to be the only other person who’s noticed that Sawada-Chan hasn’t been to school once. Even Sasagawa-Chan just brushes it off with a vague, “who? Oh, Dame-Tsuna! Do you think she had to go to another school for extra tutoring?” She’s nice about it, at least.

Kurokawa-San is surprised when he points out no one has seen her in town either.

“I didn’t think you paid her that much attention,” she stated. “Huh. I suppose even a monkey like you can tell what would happen if you asked her out.”

It’s not that. It’s just. He didn’t realize how much the glimpses of her had settled him down before. Right now it just feels someone is rubbing sandpaper on the inside of his skin. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling, it always happens over the summer. Usually it goes away when school starts up and he can play baseball. But baseball isn’t working like it usually does. Sawada-chan’s mysterious disappearance gives him something to focus on so he doesn’t use his bat like a shinai and makes the second string players run faster.

His dad would be upset if he did that.

—-

Takeshi realizes intellectually that he should be proud to be playing an away game in his first year of middle school, even with his less than stellar grades. He’s more distracted by imaging all the ways he could really hurt people. Kurokawa is helping, a little, ever since she noticed his struggle to keep his smile up.

“Stop pushing yourself around me, like some sort of stupid monkey,” she said bluntly. “I know you’re a wolf, try not to go rabid.”

He’s pretty sure people are starting to think they’re dating, the way he seeks her out. She mostly doesn’t care, and uses it as an excuse to get away with physically grounding him. The desperate rasping inside him is growing worse.

If this keeps up, they’re both worried he’s going to kill someone. And not even Hibari-senpai is paying enough attention to notice.

(She would have.)

—-

Takeshi whips his head around as they’re escorted to the sports field. Had that been, Sawada-Chan? What would she be doing here?

—

After the game, the coach lets them wander around the market a bit, as a reward for winning. Takeshi takes him up on it, managing to shed the usual hangers-on that he has after a game. The sandpaper and chisels that have been steadily working away inside his skin are joined by anxious jangling bells. He can’t figure out what’s wrong with him.

“Yamamoto-kun?” A familiar voice rings out, puzzled.

He turns and the bells go silent, the chisels drop away from his bones, and the sandpaper pauses. Sawada-Chan is staring at him, pale amber eyes meeting his properly for once, a cloth bag slung over her shoulder. Takeshi beams at her. Oh. So this is why Kurokawa called him a wolf.

“Sawada-Chan! How have you been? Kurokawa and I have missed you,” he comes up to talk to her without hesitation. He’s almost dizzy as whatever has been clawing at him finally quiets down.

—

Eventually, he manages to convince her invite him back her place. She leads him to an apartment, tossing him concerned looks from the corner of her eye. Takeshi feels something in him preen in pleasure. He’d never noticed her do that before, but the feeling is very familiar. She has worried about him, and not because of his baseball skills.

She looks good, her shoulders held back and her gaze steady. He had never noticed her eyes were so light before, almost the same shade as fossilized amber. She’d always had her head down before. Takeshi likes it.

“I texted Rika-Chan, she said it was alright to lend you her slippers,” Sawada-Chan pulled out a pair of guest shoes for him.

They were still a little stiff, but he was too distracted by how many pairs of shoes were tidily tucked into the shelves of cubbies by the door. While she’d been gone, she’d become close enough to a lot of people, close enough to have guest slippers. He ruthlessly suppressed the urge to mess them up. What if she got mad at him and threw him out? He wasn’t ready to face the noise yet.

—

Her apartment was small, but cozy. There was a beat up old kotatsu where she was putting some tea for him, and a faded couch. There were little touches everywhere that called to mind comfort. (He liked the amateur ink painting of a puppy of some kind, tripping over its paws chasing a ball.) Takeshi was seized by the desire to roll around the whole place and never leave. A plate of dumplings, lopsided and mismatched, found themselves next to the tea.

—

Eventually, he has to go, but he managed to spend several hours talking to Sawada-Chan. She’s bolder than she used to be, but still doesn’t say much. Takeshi is pleased with himself when he manages to get her to forget to be wary and snark back at him. She even let him take a nap on her couch while she did homework leaning against it.

No wonder she’s in Kunugigaoka now. He doesn’t even know where to start, and she’s flying through the worksheets.

—-

There’s a slim hand nudging his shoulder. It’s not Kurokawa, and it’s not his otusan. His hand snaps up, snake quick, to latch onto the wrist. He misses. It’s so unusual, that he actually pauses before remembering where he was.

“Oh, sorry, Sawada-Chan!” He grins desperately. “I didn’t recognize you!” Please don’t send him away. He doesn’t want to have her shrink away from him again. He doesn’t know what he’d do if she flinched from him. Kurokawa is getting better at genuinely not flinching, even when she gets cut by the edges he can’t hide anymore.

“It’s fine,” he almost collapses as she waves it off. “But the buses are going to stop running for the night, your otousan has already called you.”

—

He gets her number before he lets himself be ushered out the door, nearly running into her neighbor who eyes him suspiciously. Not even Takeshi’s best sheepish grin erases the unfriendly look in the man’s eyes. It, probably didn’t help that he was disheveled, and still smelled a bit sweaty from the baseball game earlier. It didn’t look good, a teenage boy walking out of girl’s apartment looking like that.

Takeshi avoided his gaze and hurried to the bus depot. His otousan had been pleased that the reason he’d gone missing was running into a friend and loosing track of time, and not something, else. But he’s heard the warning to make it back tonight, and so had Sawada-Chan. She’d all but thrown him out the door, tugging on a worn pair of running shoes to lead him to the bus depot in time to catch the last bus to Namimori.

As the bus tumbled into the night, he wonders when he can make time to come back again, and how many times it will take before his shoes have a space in her entrance.

[tiny-pun]

On writing pain

Okay so for once this isn’t an actual prompt but more so a tip:

If your character is supposedly in pain that lasts more than a couple of days or even weeks and months, eg. Because of a bigger wound or of a (new) disability… you most likely should show this in more ways than just the occasional “gasp and clutching the wound”!

Having such constant pain will have at least some kind of emotional impact: the stress of constantly being in pain, the constant push and pull between just succumbing to the pain and laying down until it goes away or just ignoring it and powering through. The balancing act of not overdoing it and being hypervigilant to the point you just hunch down to avoid worsening it.

Additionally you have to think about how to treat all of the different pains. How connected are they really? How much sense does it actually make to take pain meds ? Are there enough? Do I trust my doctor/s, to actually listen to me and take my pain seriously? Am I over exaggerating my pain? Am I underselling it? Am I annoying my doctor? Should I just wait and hope it goes away? It’s probably nothing anyway. But what if it’s so much worse ? What if this pain is just covering up something truly awful? But what if I’m making such a fuss now and tomorrow I can jump around like always? How unnecessary it would be to get so many people involved. Right ? This is especially hindered by poor use of words aka incapability to communicate. ( My head is just … kinda fuzzy?/Everything hurts?)

Another factor is how much they want to openly tell others about it. And whom they could possibly even tell and all the whys and hows surrounding it. And how hard it would be aka how long they’ve know each other and how much time they spent together. The hiding and lying adds more emotional stress and also possibly leads to neglect of any medical help. The “overt” complaining about the pain/situation can be exhausting and thus a different kind of stress. Especially if they’re feeling childish/unheard or otherwise ashamed about voicing anything but positive emotions but the pain is just too much and too consistent.

This can also lead to a constant comparison of how far into their recovery they “statistically already should be” or just the plain old “I could do xyz SO EASILY before”. Or worse: they’re comparing themselves to another (equally) wounded/disabled character. Wether it’s an internal belief or externally expected: if the character believes, that their wound/pain is comparably minor or should be easily overcome by themselves; and especially if they have a certain goal in mind, by which they should be back to their regular power and it’s not look in good … well then you certainly have a nice cocktail of stress and anxiety.

And if during the time of their supposed recovery, they end up getting some minor but more common sickness, eg. A cold or a stomach bug, it might not be their first thought. In fact they might do any and every test possible BUT think of the common cold. Not bc they’re necessarily stupid but bc of the fear, things might go to hell after all. Especially if the symptoms of both illnesses are similar enough. Anything else will just not be in their radar.

Also how would they like to be taken care of ? How much of that is a facade to please others ? Do they actually want to be hugged right now or are they just trying to please someone yet feeling suffocated? Do they just want their dead siblings soup and is a companionable silence enough to know they’re gonna be fine? How honest are they towards not only themselves but to others? And how much can the people and the situation itself even give that to them right now? (Do they need silence but they’re currently lying low in the city’s biggest hotel next to the market place?)

For all of this it doesn’t matter how big or small the pain actually is. What matters is that it is seemingly constant and only very slowly going away. The combination of constant physical pain with so much emotional turmoil and back and forth between opposing ideals aka stress can translate to even more physical pain aka psychosomatic pain. Headaches, breathlessness and even bigger issues such as literal heartaches can be the result.

This all can lead to spiralling and in the worst case a (temporary) depression. I dont think I have to explain how that could look like.

And one last thing: If the character is used to being in life or death situations, no matter if it’s due to multiple fights or an already existing disability: the common cold might be worse to deal with. They could be so used to dealing with the possibility of death that anything less than that is ironically unbearable. During a basically fatal stabbing they might just say a cheeky joke but freak out during the common cold.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. If you have the same pain for more than 6 week pls get it checked out if you can! And get well soon. These are just possible ways to write, what kind of thoughts and issues any type of constant pain (fatal or not) could cause.

[abilouwrites]

THE LOOK OF LOVE

THE RUSH OF BLOOD

I don’t believe in love at first sight, I think it’s stupid- or a myth. Something like that. When I met Bakugo Katsuki it was during his winter internship with Endeavor. I was working as an intern to grasp the ropes of managing a top hero Agency. I was also testing the waters on media management while I was there. I remember it very distinctly, his angry being stalking into the building. Boots chunking off snow as he stomps his feet against the carpeting, “this is y/l/n y/n, she’s also interning here for general management. Same school” Endeavor introduced me and I waved hello. A familiar greeting to Shoto, him and I have grown comfortable with each other, spending many nights eating a late dinner or catching up on homework.

“This is Midoriya, and Bakugo, they’re both interning with me this period”

“Yeah I’d assumed so, would you like me to set them up? Or should I resume work on the billing and media information on the last villain you captured?” I ask, shifting slightly to peek at the blonde.

“Resume work on the media. You can do billing tomorrow” He informs me, the fires of his beard flare slightly as he waves me off.

The second time we met is at dinner, only a few days later placed into the home of Endeavor and Shoto. The three interns and myself all invited to dinner.

“It feels so awkward.. like I shouldn’t be here yannow?” I pitch over to Midoriya, “it’s not like I’m training to be a hero..”

“Uh. I can see what you mean, but you’ve been working with him for a while know haven’t you? I was doing some reading about you online, you’re very talented at pulling to younger audiences with your media style. Is that a hobby or quirk related?” He asks as we walk in and slip our shoes off.

“It’s mostly a hobby, my quirk is really just time warping but I can’t travel through time, it’s just physically impossible. I’d have to literally blend into a beam of light going light speed or faster than the speed of light. So it’s relatively useless. And I’ve got a bum knee so it’s not physically wise for me to be doing all that stuff.. I’d probably have to retire a year into being an official hero” I respond

“Thank you for dropping by with your busy schedules! I’m Fuyumi, Shotos older sister. It’s nice to meet you!” She cheers excitedly, eagerly introducing herself. She’s in a turtleneck, a soft lilac color with an apron around herself. Midoriya is also as eager to introduce himself to her— extremely appreciative to have been invited.

“I’m y/l/n, it’s a pleasure to meet you, thank you for the invite”

Midoriya apologizes for his attacks against Shoto during the sports festival and Shoto makes it known that Fuyumi is aware it was all in good fun.

Once we’re all seated Fuyumi introduces herself and Shotos older brother, “I teach at an elementary school nearby, and this is Shotos older brother Natsuo, he’s in college”

“Hey, what’s up?” He doesn’t smile and looks awfully uncomfortable to be in this situation. I’ve head of the tensions in the Todoroki household, but seeing it truly play out makes me feel out of place.

“Shoto, this is where you introduce us to your friends” Fuyumi reminds

“Right. These are two of my classmates in the hero course Midoriya and Bakugo. And this is y/l/n, she is in the business course and hero management”

“Uh! It’s nice to meet you” Midoriya remarks, squaring his shoulders as he introduces himself nervously.

It’s a tense dinner, and I’m more than happy to be on my train ride home, mostly because I don’t stay weekends, I have no need to head back.

“Whoah! An attack on the way home, is Natsuo alright?” I ask Bakugo, mostly because he’s the first face I see as I enter the building.

“Uh.. yeah he’s alright. Probably shaken up. What’s it to you?” He goes on the defense, “you said last night you have no interest in being a hero.”

“You didn’t listen, or maybe you did but not that well. I did want to be a hero, very briefly. I was great at the physical side, the quirk needed time yes. And then I took a bad step during a volleyball game. I shattered my knee so badly they gave me a metal one. I can’t be a hero with that” I shrug, “and I have to keep updated. Media management” I point to the lanyard around my neck.

He just stares at me, this tense expression on his face, “ok.. whatever” he scurries off, eager to find himself at the need of Endeavor.

Seeing him around the halls has me smitten, this fuzzy feeling of a crush overwhelms me. He gifts me a singular wave, each morning. We wave to each-other. Sometimes he talks to me, sometimes I talk back, “how are you? I heard you were involved in an attack” he asks, taking a notice at the scar on my arm. One that should fade in a few weeks

“Oh, I’m alright.. it was pretty scary out there. It happened when I was walking home, he just came out of nowhere it took me completely by surprise. I’m thankful there was a hero there that’s for sure” I grin a little, shifting my hair from in front of my face to behind my shoulder.

“Do you walk through a bad neighborhood?” He inquires, I furrow my eyebrows and nod slowly.

“It’s not terrible, or like bad bad but yeah it’s a little sketch. But if I go around it it takes me an extra twenty minutes.. so it’s a little worth it”

“Jesus Christ.. you’ll get yourself killed” he rolls his eyes slightly, “meet me here after school alright?”

“Uh.. ok?” I shrug, somehow unphazed by his sudden interest in me. Although it stirs my curiosity just slightly.

It stirs through my mind in my classes all until I walk past him in the halls. He calls me out, and I wait until he catches up to me, “good day?” I ask as we walk next to each other, “and don’t you live at the dorms?”

“I do. And yeah.. it was good. The damn nerd keeps talking and stupid chargebolt fried himself stupid” he speaks a little softer, although I do notice the frustration in his voice and in his brow.

“So then.. why are you walking with me? I don’t live on campus- it’s so much easier for you” I bring to his attention

“Yeah why don’t you. Live on campus I mean. The commute for you would be so much easier”

“My parents are divorced, uh so I go to my moms after school and then two to three times a week she brings me to my dads but he lives an hour away by car” I admit, “it’s not embarrassing.. I just never really talk about it”

He nods slowly, I make a left turn and he follows, “what?” He asks when I turn at him.

“Uh.. you’re following me?” I tilt my head slightly and he pushes a hand through his spiky hair

“Yeah, dipshit. I’m walking you home” He says it so matter of factly I’m startled. I open my mouth, “stop asking stupid questions and just accept that I’m doing this! God!” He shakes his head and continues following me.

“If you’re gonna follow me don’t be a creepo, walk next to me” I murmur, just enough so he can hear me. Just enough for him to walk next to me, “Bakugo, so you like.. what?”

“Drums. Uh being a hero”

“Have you always wanted to be a hero?” I ask, he nods and takes a moment to think

“Yeah, I mean hasn’t everyone? I was born with this amazing quirk. Why wouldn’t I want to be one?”

“Were you an All Might fan? Or are you?” I ask, “no shame I’m just asking”

His face flushes and he stares down at his toes, “yeah. I mean who isn’t?”

I smile, a wide beaming smile as I grin at him, “what! I’m sure you were obsessed with him or some other hero”

“I was always a really big fan of Eraserhead. Dunno why, I just really liked him growing up, he reminds me of my dad”

“Oh, yeah he’s a good hero. An even better teacher”

“Yeah. That makes sense.. uh only a little while longer”

“This is.. a neighborhood” he notices, looking over at the overgrown lawns and boarded up houses. Upset dogs chained to wooden posts or chain link fences, “you walk through this place?”

“Yeah, on days where I don’t take public transports. At my dads I walk twenty and then there’s a train then I have to walk a little more so it’s not all bad”

“Huh..”

He looks around as I turn and then again into a brighter neighborhood. Sleek modern houses with low fences, “this is me” I say, at the house with the flowers and big pomegranate tree.

“You garden?”

“Yeah. Yeah I do.. uh.. I’ll see you tomorrow”

“Yeah..”

For the first time in a long time I wonder if love at first sight really does exist, I lay at my bed. Staring at my phone. Giggling a little when I see notifications from him.

[y/nnnn!!]BKUGKATS just followed you

[y/l/nMEDIA]BKUGKATS just followed you

[spammyy/n]BKUGKATS just requested to follow you

[y/nnnn!!]BKUGKATS sent you a message

Hi so this actually went thru three phases… uhhh…. I hope you liked it!! My apologies if it lwk sucked also yes I’m alive I was js a lil depressed

[nonotnolan]

The Ends Justify The Means

As always, this February story is dedicated to my valentine, @mergeman

"Okay, but did we have to add him to the Hivemind?" Jordan said, looking at his unconscious boss with a look of resigned disappointment. "If I end up with an old man's vocabulary because of him, I'm gonna be so upset. This body looks too good to sound like a geezer." He tossed his shirt to the ground and gave me a flex. "See what I mean?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Some humans stress-tested my 40% Free Will rule, and Jordan was definitely one of them. "One, bringing him into the Collective is the only way to bend his authority to our will. Two, the symbiote doesn't change our speech, it just enhances our knowledge. And three, the eventual goal is to overtake most of humanity anyway. We were gonna have to add Shaun sooner or later."

Jordan nodded, though I doubted he was paying any attention me. He was one of the part-time workers I had converted within the past two hours, and so his symbiote half was still checking out his new body. I can't blame it, I suppose.

I wasn't sure this plan was even going to work, so I was glad we managed to succeed. Capturing the part-time college students who worked here had been easy-- a bit of flirting from a tempting body, a kiss to introduce the symbiote, rinse and repeat. Shaun had been much more difficult. We had to resort to ambushing him in the bathroom where there we no cameras. Jordan's strength held him in place while I pried open his jaw to insert the new symbiote. It was far from elegant-- Shaun was stronger than he looked-- but at least it worked.

Shaun finally opened his eyes, and looked at me with a wry grin. "Alright, sir. I know we have a lot to talk about, but let's retreat somewhere else, shall we? It's cramped in here, and I think Jordan is a few moments away from whipping his dick out."

"You're not wrong," I said, shaking my head. "We should probably leave him to it. If nothing else, it will be nice to talk things over someplace a bit... less pungent. I assume you know what is going to be expected of you?"

"I do," Shaun says, crossing his arms. "Although I was hoping to talk to you about that one. I scheduled Darren to work Valentine's Day because I haven't had that day off for the past three years. This body's wife is threatening to make life miserable if I still have to work the holiday despite my recent promotion. I have a proposal for you."

I smiled at the audacity of this symbiote. Clearly its host body had a lot of confidence.

"Darren will still get the day off, of course," Shaun said. "But instead of working the day myself, I'll just tell Jenn that she's going to have to handle the shift solo. We don't need two store managers tomorrow night-- no one goes furniture shopping on Valentine's."

----------------------------------------------

"You'll never guess what happened today!" Darren said, greeting me when I arrived home. He and I had been dating for a few weeks now, ever since I was granted control over this host body. Unlike the symbiotes who were mostly extensions of my mind and my personality, I had full control and full autonomy over my decisions. Coming out of the closet was one of the first changes I made to this host's former life.

"Your store is actually closing for a holiday?" I guessed, walking up to him and hugging him from behind. I held him close, feeling the heat of his body against my borrowed chest. Humans were very big on physical contact, and it was a ritual I was more than happy to join.

Darren chuckled as he turned around for a quick kiss. "Okay, so it wasn't a miracle. But it was still pretty crazy! Shaun texted me, and approved my vacation time for tomorrow. Can you believe that? I've never known him to change his mind like that before."

I just smiled at him. "Maybe your District Manager yelled at him about it? You did submit that request a few months ago." As much as I hated feeding white lies and omitted facts to my boyfriend, I couldn't justify telling him my full truth this early in the relationship. Anyway, the only way I'd be filling him with a symbiote would be if we broke up and he posed a risk to my secret. I wanted a relationship with an equal, not a masturbatory fling with a clone of myself. Anyway, what was the phrase? The ends justify the means.

"Well, maybe." He paused a few minutes to consider this possibility before shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know, and I'm not going to question it. I'm just glad you kept those dinner reservations! I'm looking forward to tomorrow's date!" He smiled, and I could feel my heart melting. I would do anything in my power to make him happy.

[lostbookmark]

MDNI 18+

WHISPERED SECRETS Masterlist

Summary: A series of quick flashbacks of your early years with Yoongi. 

Pairing: Sister's Boyfriend Yoongi x F. Reader

Warnings: Toxic Parent and sister relationship, underage drinking, swearing, light making out, crying. 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦   ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

You want to pull out your hair as you reread the question in the booklet that you have laid out on your desk. Right turns: When making a right turn onto a two-way street from another two-way street, which lane should you end up in? 

“AHHH!” You actually scream and bang your head on the desk in your bedroom. “Ow.”

“What are you doing?” Your sister asks from your doorway. 

“Studying for my permit,” you answer her while not bothering to turn around and look at her. You think you gave yourself a bump on the head.  You bring your hand up to check and see.

“Why are you stressing out? It's not like it's even that hard and it's multiple choice. Anyway, I wanted to introduce you to my boyfriend.” she tells you. 

You turn around in your chair and see a boy standing next to your sister.  He's just a bit taller than her, dark hair, pale skin, he's cute. Oh, shit. There’s a cute boy in your room. Your eyes quickly scan your bedroom floor, hoping that you don't have anything embarrassing out…like underwear. 

“I'm Yoongi,” he says. You gulp, his voice is deep.

“Y/N,” you say softly and give him a small smile. 

“Anyway, let's go. We actually have stuff to do. Calm down, or you will make yourself fail by freaking out.” your sister is such a bitch. 

“You should encourage her,” Yoongi said, but she just rolled her eyes and lightly pushed him out of your doorway. You sigh. This is going to be a long night.  Your test is tomorrow. You're screwed. She's right. You're going to fail. 

Yoongi had stayed for dinner. Your mom was bombarding him with questions the whole time. What were you majoring in?  Do you stay in the dorms? Do you have a job?  Since your sister started college, your mother seems to think she needs to know every single detail about her life when she is not home, and you guess it includes her boyfriend's life too, apparently. You sneak a peek at Yoongi and smirk. You can tell that he is annoyed. Welcome to the club, dude. You get up from the table with your study booklet and leave for the backyard. No one even says anything to you. They never do. You settle down on a white wicker couch to reread it for the hundredth time. You've been reading it over and over again, but everything is just running together now. 

“Are you okay?” A deep voice asked. You physically jumped in shock and might have let out a squeak. “Sorry, sorry I didn't mean to scare you.”

“It's okay,” you tell Yoongi while fiddling with your booklet, your heart still racing. “What are you doing out here?” 

“They started talking about pageant dresses or something,” he sighed and sat next to you on the wicker couch. “You need some help? I can quiz you?” 

“Oh, um…I…I don't want to bother you,” you mumble. Yoongi held out his hand, and you gave him the booklet after a moment of hesitation.

“Okay, school buses,” he starts. You wonder why he wants to help you. He doesn't even know you, but you're happy. You're happy your sister found someone who seems like he might be great. He'll be good for her.

You smile, looking at the permit in your hands. You can not believe that you had actually passed. Your sister was actually right. The test wasn't that hard, and you were panicking for nothing. Your best friends Jisoo and Lisa met you at the DMV to take their test as well. Jisoo passed, and Lisa well…she tried her best. You and Jisoo try not to laugh, but Lisa is pissed and it's kind of funny. 

“Yeah, that great Y/N,” your mom says half-heartedly. “Have you seen my sewing kit?” 

“Mom I did it,” you exclaim, waving your permit in the air as soon as you get back home. Yoongi and your sister were sitting on the couch. He looked at you and gave a bright, gummy smile. 

“When can you take me driving?” You ask him. 

Your smile falls, and you look back at Yoongi. Something crosses his face, but you're not too sure what it was. As your dad walks through the door, you turn your attention toward him instead.

“Your mom will have to,” he tells you as he walks by. “I don't have time right now. I need to get back to the office.” 

“Oh, okay,” you whisper. You still feel Yoongi's eyes still on you. They feel like they are burning straight into your soul. You feel embarrassed. You feel defeated.

“I'll take you,” he says, getting up. “Give me your phone. I'll give you my number, just let me know when you want to start.” 

“Really?” You ask him excitedly. You hear your sister scoff. “Thank you.”

“Don't laugh. I hit all the cones, Yoongi. Every single one…I flattened them.” You want to cry, and he's just laughing. 

He's laughing at you. His shoulders are shaking, and he’s doubled over laughing in the passenger seat. Your hands grip the steering wheel as you glare at him. This is the second time that he has taken you to practice.  Your sister came the first time, but her criticism made you too nervous, and you started to cry before you could actually do anything. Yoongi told her that she couldn't come anymore.

“I'm sorry,” he said, clearing his throat, and he started laughing again. “I'm sorry. Listen, you have to get through learning how to park first before I take you on the road. I will go and pop the cones back up, and you're going to just breathe and calm down. We will go out to eat out after if you can do it this time.” 

“Okay,” you say. “Can we get chicken from Chic 'n’ Wings?”

“Sure,” he agrees.  You smile and try your luck.

“..... and extra rolls?” He rolls his eyes with a smile and gets out of the car. He fixes the cones, and you take a deep breath. You can do this, you do this for the rolls….and you do.

______________________________________________________________

Math. You hate math, it's boring and your teacher kind of smells like cheese. You're good at math, but you hate it. Numbers never intimidated you like a lot of other kids, you know. Lisa says it makes you a geek. You've seen her test scores. She's just as good as you are, but she lies about it. You wonder why she always lies about her grades. Is she afraid that the popular boys won't like her? Do boys not want to date geeks? Great, you'll never have a boyfriend. 

“Hey,” Yoongi says, snapping his finger in front of your face. 

“What?” you answer, looking at him. 

“Do you need help? I suck at math, but I think we can figure it out,” he tells you, looking over your shoulder at your math book. 

He's nice, too nice to you. You don't understand how your sister found someone like him. That's a lie you do. She's beautiful and smart, what boy wouldn't want her? You..you look like a potato. Not just a regular potato but one that has those things growing out of them. 

“Yoongi, let’s go, I'm hungry,” your sister whines. “She's 16. You can't baby her.”

“We can wait until she's done,” Yoongi tells her, and she huffs.

“I'm fine, Yoongi.” You tell him with a smile. “Go ahead. If I don't finish, I can always copy off Wonwoo.”  He stares at you for a second before getting up. You turn and look at them. “Where are you going? Can you bring me back something?” 

“NO! My boyfriend isn't going to pay for you,” your sister snaps.

“I have money,” you tell her. “I can use my birthday money.”

“No,” she says and walks to the door. 

“Go to the car. It's unlocked. I forgot my wallet upstairs,” Yoongi tells her. Once she's out the door, he turns to you. “What do you want?” You beam at him. 

“Anything that can fit in your coat pocket,” you whisper conspire with him.  He pursed his lips in thought and gave you a nod. He walks out, and you turn back to your homework. Yeah, copying Wonwoo sounds like a better option. 

A few hours later, Yoongi snuck into your room and handed you mozzerella sticks and a slider. He wouldn't take your money.

______________________________________________________________

The light in your closet isn't the best for drawing, but it's better than your mom coming in and seeing you do it. She hates it, and you never understood why. She says that you need to spend more time studying, going outdoors, and being with friends. She tells you how art is just a dream and that it won't actually get you anywhere. You laugh to yourself, your grades are near perfect, and your friends…Lisa is always grounded, and Jisoo is so sheltered. She can barely go anywhere without her parents. Your closet is quiet. It's just you and Marilyn in here. You can't get her left eye right.  This is pathetic. You're spending your 17th birthday in a closet…talking to your drawing. 

“Y/N?” You hear Yoongi call out for you.

“I'm here,” you answer back, not bothering to leave your sanctuary.  

“Where are you?” He asks with a chuckle. 

“Closet,” you answer back. You're going to wear a hole in the paper if you keep erasing. The closet door opens, and Yoongi gives you a bright smile.  “Hi,” you say and look back at Marilyn.

“You draw? I didn't know that,” he said and knelt down to you sitting on his knees. “It's really good.”

“Don't tell anyone. Please?” You ask, and he tilts his head at you in contemplation. 

“I won't,” he promises and digs into a bag he brought in with him. In his hand, he produces a cupcake with blue and pink icing. He places a yellow striped candle in the middle and proceeds to light it.  “Make a wish,” he holds it for you in front of your face. 

You close your eyes and wonder what to wish for. To get better in art, to finally get a boyfriend, maybe one like Yoongi. Maybe you should wish for your parents' love and attention. Taking a breath, you blow out your candle…you don't wish for anything. 

“Happy birthday,” Yoongi whispers and kisses your cheek. 

Shit! There’s butterflies in your stomach, and you try not to blush. You can't like him. He is not yours to like.

______________________________________________________________

“What are you all dressed up for?” Your sister asks you.  Your turn to look at her. Yoongi is beside her like always, except he looks at you like….. you're not sure, but it feels different. 

You thrifted your dress. Not really, Lisa let you borrow it. You told your mom about getting a date for homecoming. She said she would take you dress shopping and out to lunch…she must have forgotten. The dress is a light pink and might be a little tight….okay it's very tight, but it looks fine…in fact, your boobs look amazing. You just might not be able to breathe all night. Lisa told you just to take shallow breaths, and you'll be fine. You shouldn't pass out. You trust her. She wears tight clothes all the time. You're happy your parents weren't home tonight. Your dads company dinner was supposedly more important. There was no way your mom would let you out in this dress if she saw it. You know she wouldn't deem it as ladylike. 

You head downstairs to wait for your date. You couldn't believe Wooseok had asked you. You blushed and stuttered through your acceptance, embarrassing yourself. You think he only asked because Lisa is going with his friend Kino. It's fine because you're going to have fun even if it's a pity date. 

“Homecoming,” you answer her. “I'm waiting for my date.” 

“Date?” she questions. “Did you pay him?” She chuckles at her own joke.

“Don't say that,” Yoongi told her. He looked mad. “Anyone would be lucky to go with her. You look beautiful. “  

“Don't lie to her,” your sister says, rolling her eyes. You think one day they might get stuck back there. 

The ringing of the doorbell breaks the tension in the room. Yoongi looks at you and smirks. He bolts to the door. You try to cut him off but stumble in the damn heels that you're wearing. He laughs, dodging your reach, and opens the door with a glare on his face.

“Can I help you?” he tried his best to sound bored. 

“Uhhh, is Y/N here?” Wooseok asks. You try to shove Yoongi out of the way, but he holds onto the door jamb. 

“Yoongi, move,” you demand.

“What time is the dance over?” Yoongi asks Wooseok.

“Ummm….11 I think,” Wooseok answers.

“Okay, have her home by 9:30,” Yoongi tells him, and you hit his arm. You finally manage to move him. 

“Don't listen to him. Let's go,” you say and look back at Yoongi when you get outside. You want to flip him off. You almost do it, but you don't. 

“Who was that?” Wooseok asks as he opens the car door for you.

“That’s just Yoongi.”

                                                           

Woosoek shoves his tongue in your mouth. His hands are pawing at you in that tight ass dress. Is this what kissing is supposed to be like, so much…..spit? You're not gonna lie. It's kind of gross. Lisa and Kino are right next to you behind the equipment shed on the football field in a similar position. You go along with it, not wanting to ruin the little party you were invited to. Wooseok pulls back and reaches into his jacket. He pulls out a slim bottle with dark liquid. You've never drank before. 

“Whiskey,” he tells you and kisses you again.  He moves to attach his lips to your neck and sucks pretty hard…it kind of hurts. 

Kino pulls away from Lisa and takes the bottle from him. Taking the first drink, he hands it to Lisa. She looks at you but doesn't hesitate and takes a drink as well. She coughs and rubs her chest. They guys laugh at her, and she joins in the laughter with them. Wooseok goes next, then you. 

“It's okay, sweets,” Lisa whispers. “It wasn't that bad.” 

Taking a drink of the dark liquid was awful, and it burned. You start coughing, and Wooseok claps your back. It was... it was that bad. Kino takes the bottle from you, and it gets passed around again and again.  Wooseok kisses you again, way, way more spit this time. You wish Jisoo were here. She wouldn't have let this happen. You don't feel so good.

“Fuck, sweets. What do we do?” Lisa slurs at you. Your dates are passed out.

“I'll call Yoongi,” you tell her. Your vision can barely focus on your phone screen. “He'll get us.” 

“Noooooo, he haaaattteeesss meeeee,” she whines. You don't listen and make the call. 

“Y/N?” Yoongi answers the phone. 

“Yoongi, don't be mad.”you try to plead with him. 

“Heeee haaaatttteeeesssss meeee,” Lisa wails in the background, and you start crying.

“What the hell is going on?” he asks.

“We’ve been drinking,” you cry. “I don't feel good.” 

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks. “Where are you?” 

It didn't take him that long to find you. You can hear bickering, and your heart stops. He brought your sister with him. Their argument is getting louder the closer they approach. Lisa passed out not long ago, your stomach is turning, dates still snoring.

“Grab Lisa,” Yoongi tells your sister. 

“Why can't you grab Lisa?” she hisses at him. 

“Can you just not fight me for once,” he hissed back.

Your body gets picked up off the ground. You moan, and your stomach flips. Yoongi pulls you closer to him as you rest your head against him and walks quickly as he can to the car. He doesn't say anything. He just carries you. He places you in the back seat and rolls the window down for you. 

“I have to go and help with Lisa. If you throw up…aim for the window,” Yoongi tells you and surries off to help your sister. You can hear her bitching at him again.  A cool breeze comes through the opened window, you breathe it in,  You're causing problems and you hate yourself for it.

The sunlight streaming through your windows hurts your head. You spent most of the night on the floor in your bathroom. The cool tiles felt good against your pounding head. You hear the garage door open. Your parents must have left for the farmers market, which means it's still early. You drag yourself out of bed and head downstairs. You hope maybe some water will help. 

“Still alive?” You jump in shock and gasp. Fuck, you hand goes to your head, it really freaking hurts. “Do you know how worried I was when I heard you crying?” Yoongi asked.  

“I'm sorry,” you whisper. “My sister is mad at you for helping…”

“No, don't worry about that,” he cuts you off and walks up to you. He grabs your head gently and turns it ever so slightly to the side and hums. 

“What?” you ask. He brings up his phone camera, and you look. “Oh.”  A huge ugly purplish mark on the skin of your neck. 

“Did it go any further than that?” he asks, and you shake your head no. “Go back to sleep.” he tells you and walks off. 

You think he's disappointed in you, and that hurts.

______________________________________________________________

It's finally into your senior year. You turned 18 not too long ago. When you walked into your room, you saw a single cupcake with a candle stuck in the middle. A note, with a match sitting by it on your bed. Picking up the note, you smile to yourself.

Make a wish, MYG. 

Yoongi didn't forget. It's been so long since you have seen him or your sister. He moved out of the dorms at college last winter and into his own apartment. Your sister pretty much pretty much lives with him. They don’t come home that often, but you don't blame them. This place sucks.  But he didn't forget.

Your mom, who had been a stay at home mom for as long as you can remember, decided to go back to work. She said she found it hard to stay home in such an empty house. Thanks! She must have forgotten that you still lived there. She, of course, had been too busy to do anything for you. Jisoo's family had made you a birthday dinner that night. You were happy to have friends who actually had caring parents.  This birthday, however, you did make a wish as you blew out your candle. You wished to get the hell out of here. 

______________________________________________________________

Christmas break flew by, and you go back to school tomorrow. You are screwed, you have become very lazy this year and you didn't finish your science homework. Strike that, you didn't even start and it's already 10:30 at night. You walk quietly to your sister's room, where she and Yoongi are staying. They were just there for the weekend. You listen for a second before you slowly open the door. Your sister was sound asleep, and Yoongi was typing away at his phone. The bright light illuminated his face. 

“Psss,” you say quietly. Yoongi's eyes fly to you, then to your sister's sleeping form. You wave him over to you. 

“Don't you have school tomorrow? You should be sleeping,” he lightly scolds you.

“I need help on a science project. I need a diorama of the solar system,” you explain.

“How much have you done?” He crosses his arms, waiting for you to answer. 

“None,” you answer, and his eyes narrow.

“When's it due?” he's suspicious.

“Tomorrow,” you say quietly, and his eyes widen. “Please, please, please.”  He sighs in defeat.

“I can't get this fucking sun to stay up,” his growls and his eyes look to you. “Sorry, don't swear, it's not a good habit.” 

“I have a hot glue gun,” you tell him.

“I don't think that will work,” he says. “ I think it might be too heavy.”

You two have been working on this for hours now. You look at your alarm clock and see it's well past midnight. You hadn't been completely unprepared,  you had all the supplies. You just needed help with painting the foam balls….and attaching the strings to rods….attaching the actual rods. Shit, you're screwed. 

“What's going on?” Your mom asks as she opens the door. “Why are you in her room?” 

“She needed help,” Yoongi told her, going back to fiddle with the rod holding sun.

“Y/N, I told you to do that a week ago. You are so irresponsible. How the hell are you going to get through college and all the work that comes with that? Did you even apply yet?”  She is mad. 

“Yoongi, come back to bed,” your sister says, tiredly walking into the room. 

“We are almost done,” he told them. 

“Go, Yoongi,” your mom demands. “If she fails….she can fail alone.”

“THAT'S NOT FAIR,” he yells, he never yells. Your sister walks in and grabs his arm. He tries to pull out of her grasp, but she doesn't let him. She pulls him out of the room. He looks at you. It seems like he wants to say something, but the door shuts in his face. 

“You need to stay away from him.  Your sister needs his attention, not you. Tomorrow after school, we will fill out applications.  You'll go for accounting ... .you don't have a choice anymore.” With that, your mom left your room, and you cried yourself to sleep to the sounds of Yoongi and your sister arguing. 

The damn sun still won't stay up. You lug the diorama into your science class by yourself. You are just happy that the rest of it is still standing. 

“Your sun fell,” Lisa points out the obvious while smacking her gum. 

“Yoongi, couldn't get it to stay up,” you tell her, and she bursts out laughing at the insinuation, but you don't find it funny at all. 

“Sorry, ummm, let me think,” she takes a look around and blows a bubble. “Oh, try this.” She shoves a piece of gum in your mouth. You chew it as fast as you can as she grabs Chan and does the same to him. “Chew, Chan, Chew!” Poor Chan, he looked scared of her but did as he was told.

The three of you chew away and she holds out her hand. She spits her gum into it and motions for the two of you to do the same…gross….but you do it. She pieces the used gum together and molds it around the rod to stick it to the side of your cardboard.  It sticks….kind of.  You hope your teacher will get to you quickly. He eventually does, you get B….it's a good day. 

______________________________________________________________

You had listened to your mom and just stopped hanging around the house if Yoongi or your sister were there. Lisa's house became your new sanctuary.  Her parents were awesome and loved you.  

“Did you see Jackson slip and fall at assembly today,” Lisa laughed as you guys walked around the park after dinner. 

“It's not funny,” you laugh. “He's sweet.”

“Y/N,” you heard a voice shout your name. A deep voice, you knew who it belonged to. 

You look around and spot Yoongi at the basketball courts with a group of guys. You don't see your sister anywhere. Lisa nudges you forward to continue to walk, and unfortunately, you have to walk by him to get out of the park. You quickly wave as you pass by, but that was it.

“Wait,” he called out and chased after you. “Where have you been?” 

“She’s just doing what she was told,” Lisa answers . 

“What does that mean?” he asks, looking right at you.

“I was told to leave you alone,” you tell him.  You watch him crack his neck and then look back at his friends. They start calling him to come back. 

“Come hang out,” he said. “We could use a little cheering.”

“Are they cute?” Lisa asks, Yoongi ignores her and continues to look at you.

“Come on,” he said and grabbed your hand. He threaded his fingers through yours and guided you to sit on the metal bleachers overlooking the court. He tosses the ball back to his friends before turning back to you. “Cheer for me?” he asks.

“Fine,” you grumble and he runs back onto the court. Lisa nudges you several times. 

You do cheer for him. You have never seen him play before, and damn he was good. He looked so free, so happy out there playing. You're not sure if you have ever seen him like this.  Lisa was too busy flirting with the other players to really pay attention. You almost feel embarrassed to be by her right then. You wish you had her confidence, though. Yoongi heads to the benches after a little while to get some water. 

“Lisa and I need to get back,” you tell him. “It was nice seeing you.” 

“Wait,” he said, stopping you from turning around. “Who told you to stay away from me?”  You don't answer.

“Her mom,” Lisa answered. “We really have to go.” 

Lisa grabs your hand, and the two of you run to her car. You turn back and see Yoongi still standing there playing with his water bottle, still watching you.  You really miss him.  

______________________________________________________________

“Should I wear my red dress or black dress for my date with Mark tomorrow?” Lisa asks  as you two chat away on the phone. 

You lie on your bed. The end of winter was here, and the spring air moving in was nice and cool, so you had your bedroom window cracked open. The cool breeze felt good in your stuffy room. The curtains were gently moving  and you huddled down in your blankets. 

“Black,” you tell her noncommittally. “You will look fine, no matter….” Voices in the back yard cut you off. It was more than just voices. Your sister was yelling. “Lisa, I have to go.” 

You hung up the phone before she could say anything. Dropping onto the floor, you crawled to your window and slowly peeked out. Yoongi and your sister were back by the swing set.  They were definitely having some sort of argument.

“Just tell me, Yoongi,” she yells. He crosses his arms and just stares at her. “You have feelings for her, don't you? Have you been with her?” 

“Stop,” he tells her. 

“See, you can't even deny it. I can't believe you. Rose said she saw you at the courts with her. Tell me I'm wrong,” she snaps at him. Holy, shit you thought. Who the hell showed up after you left? Yoongi just crosses his arms and stares at her. He doesn't say anything at all. “I don't believe you,” she growls and storms off into the house. 

Who the hell were they talking about? You honestly didn't think Yooongi was the type to cheat. Why would your sister even think that? You watch as Yoongi runs a hand through his hair and suddenly looks at your window. You drop down and quickly army crawl back to your bed. Something is changing, and you can feel it.

______________________________________________________________

You sit in the bay window by the front door. Eyes scanning the street, keeping a lookout for the mailman. You applied to an art school months ago and now await what you hope is an acceptance letter. You have to get to it before your parents. You know there was actually no chance of you going. You just wanted the validation that you could possibly get in. 

“What's up?” Yoongi says, looking out the window with you as he peeks over your shoulder. “What are we looking for?”

“I'm waiting for the mail,” you explain. “You told me I should think about applying, and I did.” 

“Seriously,” he smiles at you.  He moves some hair out of his face. It's getting longer. “Let me know when you get it. I want to be there when you get in.”  You turn and hug him. His arms immediately wrap themselves around you as well. This hug seems a little tighter than normal, lingers just a little longer. You're not sure, but you think you feel his lips brush your shoulder. No, you must have imagined it. 

It came a few days later. You texted him but you knew he was busy with school and his job. He probably wouldn't show up and you couldn't blame him for that. You were going to give him 20 minutes before you open it. You climbed the ladder up to your old tree house, large envelope in hand. You take that as a good sign. Why would a denial come in such a big envelope?   

“I'm here, I'm here,” he says as he struggles climbing in. You can't help but snicker at him. “Shut up.”  You open the flap carefully, slowly not wanting to face the fact you could have failed at this. 

“I don't think I can do this?” You whisper and look at him with glassy eyes. 

“You can,” he tells you softly. “You got in…I know it.”

“Oh,” you say as you scan the paper you finally pulled out. 

“You did it!” Yoongi exclaims.  “I'm so proud of you. You got in! You're going to get out of here….have the life you deserve.” 

You're laughing, bouncing a little bit, and crying a lot. You reread it just to make sure and start to cry harder. You hold the acceptance letter close to your chest. You got in! Not only did you get in, but you got a partial scholarship. Maybe, just maybe you can do this.  Yoongi pulls you close and wipes your tears on his shirt. Bringing up his phone, you lean all the way into him, his arm going around you as he snaps the picture. You smile. 

______________________________________________________________

“What are you doing?” You ask her. Your backpack slides off your shoulder and down to the floor. 

Coming home from school is a time you dread. Your mom won't let you stay at Lisa's full time even though her parents wouldn't have minded. Yoongi and your sister were at home today. Come to think about it, she's been home a lot more. You wonder if they are fighting again. You send him a very small wave as you make your way to your room. Your door that you always keep shut is open. You see your mom going through your drawings.

“Art school?” she asks while snatching your acceptance letter off your desk. “Do you think I'm going to pay for this?  Imagine my surprise when I tried to help you clean your room and find this.” 

“You were snooping,” you tell her. “I didn't have that out.” 

You watch as your mom picks up your drawings off your bed. She had been in your closet. She had found your secret stash of drawings. You had hidden them on your shelf, under clothes. She's holding Marilyn up and looks at her with a sour look on her face. 

“This is what you're wasting time on?” she asks. 

“I'm not wasting my time,’” you shout. “You had no right to go through my things like that!” You hear footsteps come up the stairs. 

“It's my house, it's my things,” your mom places both hands on top of Marilyn and tears her apart. Her eye, her left eye that took you months to perfect….gone.

You want to scream, but nothing comes out. You collapse onto your knees as they give in and bring your hands to your chest. A sob finally escapes you as your mom tears into your other pieces.  You're hysterical. You can't stop. She finally took away the last thing that made you happy. The only thing that helped you get through the day living at the house.  

“I can't stop you from going to that school. Just know that if you do, you can fend for yourself and live on the street if you have to. Dreams don't get you anywhere, Y/N.” With that, your mom walked out of the room.

Gentle hands came down on your shoulders. You crawl away , grab your drawings, and hold the ruined pieces close to you.  Your shoulders shake as your body fully collapses on the floor. The remnants of your happiness soaking up your tears. 

“Y/N,” Yoongi says quietly. You say nothing. You don't react to his voice. Yoongi leans over you and scoops you up. He places you on your bed as he sits beside you, stroking your hair.  “I don't think I can fix this one.” More silent tears fall, and they keep falling. You don't even realize that you ended up falling asleep. You fell asleep with Yoongi stroking your hair as his deep voice hummed an unknown song. Not realizing that would be the last time you would see him for the next four years. Not until your 22nd birthday where everything will change. 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦    ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Tagged Readers: @marimarvelfan, @unicornbabylover,@minghaosimp, @iheartsvt, @seoullove96, @babyitscoldoutside

[petrichor-idyllic]

Hellooo how about a Minho x she/her reader where Minho has been hit by the lightning and hs the scars and one day Reader walks on Minho being half naked and she traces his scars and theres tension building up ;) THANK YOU

I love lightning scars Minho so absolutely.

This is a relatively new request, but I'm trying to get some of the easier ones done since I'm currently away.

And I just liked this idea.

SPARKS

MASTERLIST | MINHO MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. After TDC in the Safe Haven. You're a Right Arm member because I just like the idea.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, spice, typical dumb horny teenage bullshit. That's it, really.

You're a member of the Right Arm.

You're not high-ranking or necessarily special. You just ended up tagging along after Vince came through the refugee camp you were staying at.

But that doesn't mean you don't do anything. You're bold and forward, and you went through life-risking measures to help WICKED's Subjects escape.

Because, well, everyone did.

That doesn't matter now, though. They're safe, you're safe - everyone is safe and everything is okay.

Well, kind of.

Trauma doesn't just vanish. But, people are getting on with their lives.

And so are you.

You've ended up befriending some of the Gladers. Originally, you were friends with Harriet and Sonya since they'd been around a while - and they introduced you to the boys. So, you've got your own little friendship group now.

You're particularly close to Frypan and have some friendly competition with Gally. But you like them all the same.

Well...

Almost.

You don't know what it is about Minho that has you in such a chokehold. Sure, maybe if you were some innocent girl from a Maze who didn't know how to act around boys, it would make sense. But you're not.

You've survived the Scorch and the land outside of the remainder of society. It's not like Minho is the first person you've ever been attracted to either. So, why does he make you feel like this?

Apart from the fact he is undeniably attractive.

You figure it's just dumb surface level physical attraction. And with nothing else better to do, you decide to test the waters a bit.

Glancing at him across the table as the bonfire dances and his friends chat, often meeting each other's gaze. He holds it longer than he should. He always does.

Always standing or sitting next to him; your arms or your knees brushing as neither of you make any effort to grow the distance between you.

Playful inside jokes that often have subtle suggestive undertones. Normally, in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it style that the other Gladers brush off or don't notice. This results in Minho smirking into his chosen beverage, drinking up your figure out of the corner of his eye.

It goes on like this for a while; just being in the same friend group with some subtle flirtations going on. It's actually kind of fun and a much needed way to relax.

But it doesn't actually go much further than that. And you're fine with that.

For a while.

The jokes start becoming more explicit. The eye contact becoming less subtle. The closeness becoming drunken dancing instead of just standing together.

People are starting to notice.

The dumb attraction is starting to become actual feelings. He's brave and strong and funny and everything you want - and it's just making the sexual tension thicker.

God - it's getting bad. Anyone and everyone in a room with you two would be able to feel it.

The Gladers often tease Minho about it, talking about how he's one wrong move away from ripping your clothes off and cracking where he stands.

It's taking a lot of resilience from the both of you. Especially since you're both stubborn - it's become a silent game of who will crumble first.

"Hey, (Y/N)!" You're currently sorting out bedding and hauling different types of sleeping arrangements around camp. With Gally being put in charge of the Builders now, the huts are being thrown up like there's no tomorrow.

The Gladers and other Maze Subjects got the first available buildings, along with high up Right Arm members. You don't really mind, to be fair, you enjoy the hammocks and are happy to help the Gladers.

But as Thomas shouts you, you groan, turning around, blankets threatening to spill out of your hold. "Hey, Thomas. You good?"

"Yeah," something seems off about him as he fiddles with the hem of his shirt, "I know you're already busy, but could you check on Minho for me?"

"Huh?" You tilt your head, concern immediately setting in. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"Uh," Thomas did not think this far ahead of his dumb plan. "Well, we just haven't seen him all day - seems kinda down. Figured you'd be the best person to speak to him."

This perplexes you. "Why me? You guys are closer."

And you could've sworn you'd seen Gally and Minho shoving each other about earlier today. Though, maybe you're just mixing up your days.

"Yeah, but he likes you, so..." You pause, farrowing your brows. He likes you? In what context? Like you know that he likes you. But... like, more than just the dumb flirting?

You shake it off. "Alright, gimme a second."

You dump the bedding off where it needs to be and make a beeline for Minho's hut.

Little do you know that Minho has just gotten out of the shower - and is completely fine. Thomas and Frypan decided they'd had enough of enduring the tension between you and this is the result that.

Reaching the door, it's slightly ajar, and in your concerned state, you, for some reason, decide not to knock.

"Hey, Minho, are you-?" You push open the door and immediately freeze.

Well, shit.

Minho stands with his back to you, loose sweatpants hanging off of his hips and he's without a shirt. He rubs his hair with a towel, freezing at your voice and turning slightly to look at you.

Which would be less awkward if you weren't in some kind of trance.

Minho is tall and muscular, and he doesn't have to be half naked for you to be aware of that. But, that's not what's stands out.

All over his upper body, mainly populating his back, are pinkish lines. They travel down his spine and split like webs across his back, some whisps creeping across his sides and grazing his front.

"You just gonna stare or ask me about it?" Minho says after a good few seconds pass.

What do you even ask?

"Uh, what... why..?" You trail off and Minho raises his eyebrow before scoffing.

"I got hit by lightning." He states matter-of-factly. "Ended up giving me some scars."

"When did that happen?"

"Out in the Scorch, just before we met Brenda and Jorge."

"And you never mentioned this?"

"Well, it didn't seem like a big deal," he smirks. "And I'm kinda enjoying the look on your face."

This kind of snaps you back into reality. You're here for a reason.

You clear you throat, closing the door behind you for more privacy just in case the ex-Runner is on the verge of a meltdown. "Are you... alright?"

"Uh, yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Minho is growing more concerned by the second. What is happening here?

"Well, Thomas said that something was wrong and asked me to talk to you."

Minho scoffs, putting the dots together and slowly nodding his head before rubbing his face with his hands. "Did he, now? Shuckin' slinthead. I knew they were up to something."

"Huh?"

"They're messing with you - us, even."

"Huh? Why would- oh! Oh."

Ah. That makes more sense. And is mildly mortifying.

"Yeah." Minho shakes his head, turning away from you again as he mumbles to himself. "Sorry, my friends are dicks."

"It's uh, fine. It's fine."

Your gaze falls back on Minho's chiselled form. He's practically mouth-watering.

And it's not like this is weird. You've been pushing each other's boundaries since day one. This could be another opportunity to see how far you can take things. I mean, he would if this were the other way around. So, with a sudden peak in confidence, you walk over.

Minho chucks his towel on his bed. "So, are you-?"

Minho doesn't even get the chance to finish his question as electricity sparks through him. Again. This time, not because he's nearly dying, but because your fingers graze his back.

His entire body stills, his mind immediately becoming foggy, and the hair on his arms stands on end.

"Do they still hurt?" You ask, your gaze focused on his skin and your voice low.

You're gentle in your moments, letting your fingertips barely tickle his flesh. But with the immediate and tense reaction, you're reminded that Minho is about as touch-straved as someone can get.

He's just good at hiding it.

"Uh, no, not really. They kinda feel weird sometimes, and I was really buggin' out about them when I first noticed them. But I guess I had bigger klunk on my plate." He tries to maintain his composure, but his voice wavers at several points.

You bring your hand higher, dancing across his spine and between his shoulder blades.

"Why were you buggin' out?" You've grown somewhat used to the Glader way of speaking.

He hesitates for a second, physically jumping when your other hand joins in, using your thumb to rub circles and pull at the scars threating to escape to his middrift.

"Well, I uh- shit," he mumbles the cuss word, stepping back more and into your touch, letting his head fall back. "I just... they just look weird, yanno?"

"I think they look hot."

Okay, you're becoming very bold.

"Hm? You think I look hot?" He asks, half-looking over his shoulder at you, not wanting to fully turn around and lose the feeling.

"That's not what I said."

"That's what I'm askin'."

You blink at him, watching his lopsided smile creep across his face.

In a game of confidence - Minho will always win.

Which means trying to play it cool.

"I just think scars are interesting, they tell a story."

"Do you go around touching everyone's scars, then?" He cracks a wicked grin you can't see as he turns his head away again. "That might get you in a bit of trouble around here."

"Yeah, but not with you." It actually is genuinely fun tracing the patterns in his skin. You have one hand following one path and the other following a different one.

"Oh, yeah? How do you know that?"

"Because you like it."

He peers at you again, his face suddenly serious and his tone lower than before. "You're really starting to push it, yanno that?"

"Push what?" You tilt your head, pretending to play innocent.

"You know what."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"So, you're just feeling me up because you think my scars are hot?" He scoffs. "That's what's happening here?"

You think for a second. Fuck it. "Yep."

"Well, there's more scars if you wanna touch them?"

Your eyes flicker to his face, letting your arms fall from his skin. He turns around, holding his hands behind his back, he rocks on his heels.

From his back, travelling to his front are smaller webs of the scarring. At first glance, you thought they only reached around his sides, but now you're realising there's thinner, less noticeable branches trailing across his abs.

He presses his lips into a thin line, almost like he's calling your bluff. Because this is the game you've been playing. Pushing each other. And you've pushed him so he's pushing you.

Though, this very well might end up being the breaking point.

Too stubborn to back down, your hand connects with his stomach area. He flinches, but very quickly relaxes again. You gently run your fingers across the lines and the curves of not only the remains of the electricity, but of just his body.

Your eyes flicker to his face as you expect him to make some cocky comment about how that's not a scar. But he doesn't. His eyes are fixated on your hand.

It's a feeling he's never really experienced before - watching someone enjoy him. Someone touch him with such care. With such want. Someone touching him like this at all is new.

And it's you.

You're the one touching him.

You.

And that's making it so much worse.

He doesn't make any effort to hide or stop the tightening sensation in his pants or the way his chest is rising and falling. His mind is falling into complete fog; he feels like he's taken something he probably shouldn't have.

You notice it, too.

"Minho-?"

"Shut up," he says almost immediately, eyes finally meeting yours. His pupils are wide and his eyelids heavy. "This... this isn't fair. You can't..."

He seems a strange mix of stressed and turned on.

"Okay, I'll stop," you pull your hand away, but he immediately grabs it, laying it flat against his middrift. "Minho?"

"Don't," he mumbles. "Don't stop." He can't look at you properly.

God, what's happening to him?

"Look," he continues, trying to gain some sort of clarity for a second. "If you're just messing around, that's fine, but leave now, okay? 'Cause this is getting cruel."

His words and the way he's acting is sending heat straight to your core. You step towards him, your faces inches apart.

"Are you caving, Minho?" Your voice is sultry as your hand slides further down his front.

"Are you?" He responds, leaning in further, your noses brush and you can feel his breath on your face.

"We can't keep doing this, yanno? One of us has to break eventually." You mumble, practically into his lips.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips.

"Shuck it," his hands come to your waist, yanking you closer as he finally kisses you. You squeak from the force behind it as you throw you arms around his neck, clawing into his back to try and steady yourself.

It takes a matter of seconds for Minho to spin you around, pushing you onto the bed, both of you tangling together. Desperation sets in fairly quickly.

Minho's hands under your shirt as you try to pull it over your head. His lips on your neck and chest as he slips a hand under you, trying to yank your jeans down. You leave stains on his skin from your nails.

It's a blur of emotion and hormones.

Then Minho hesitates as he sits back. At first, you think he's just admiring you as you lay in your underwear, but there's something else.

"You good?" You ask, becoming concerned.

"You know we're not gonna be friends anymore if we do this, right? Like the flirting and klunk is fun, but this is different. We can't take this back. A-and I've never done this before. I don't wanna shuck up our friendship or make things weird."

You blink at him before sitting up. He watches you as you move onto your knees and kiss him again.

"I don't wanna be your damn friend, Minho. Take the hint."

It's like there's a light behind his eyes, a smile creeping across his face, but unlike his usual cocky smirk, it's soft and warm and genuine.

He pecks your lips. It's sweet and unusual for him. "You wanna be more than friends, then?"

"Yeah," you chuckle, "but I'm sure we can worry about that later. We're a bit busy right now." You wrap your arms around his neck again, lightly touching the scars on his back. He grins at you, connecting your lips again as he pushes you down.

He pulls away, his teeth brushing your ear lobe as he lets out a low chuckle.

Here ya go, another spicey Minho piece for y'all.

"Sounds like a good plan."

I hope you enjoyed :))

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

ten weeks left, five to go… two thirds of the way there! i am, indeed, le tired…. but it’s gonna be okay… this week is pretty full throttle but next week i’ll get at least one day off for thanksgiving, so that’s… something…

i had a major work win this week in that a kid i had been pulling my hair out over did WAY the fuck better than i thought he would on his first test sitting. it’s looking like he’s still going to take it again even though he has scores that are perfectly adequate for the schools he’s looking at, so… i am holding on to my most work-intensive client… but a) his sessions will no longer bum me out and b) i can finally feel confident that the 1 billion hours i have put into writing or compiling from various sources follow up problems because none of the one-stop-shop ones felt good enough have actually served a purpose and therefore i can feel less conflicted about my regrettably unkillable sense of professional integrity. two other kids also tested, one landing at “so close but not totally quite” and the other at honestly a little worse than i would have expected? but her next test date pretty far out so i’m not too stressed. (i am learning over time that the first couple times they take a test straight through, practice or real, it goes bad… sometimes they don’t improve despite my best efforts but even the ones that do wind up doing well almost always do worse than i expect for a while and then somehow pull it together through a process that remains mysterious even to me….)

i think i am going to try something this week which is to plan to work approximately 35 hours spread out approximately evenly. based on recent weeks this should be enough (and if it’s not enough i’ll know that soon enough to course correct) and i think going into the week with this intention will help with the part where like… there almost always is theoretically work i could be doing which is an annoying psychological cloud to have hovering around me. i feel like maybe aiming for “about 5 hours a day, including any sessions” will help me feel more balanced and hopefully more able to sort of compartmentalize and think occasionally of other matters lol. the trick with this kind of thing is not to let it oppress me under a rule of my own devising - it has often happened in the past that i find myself feeling totally insane about my struggle to live up to completely self-imposed expectations that don’y matter at all - but i feel like perhaps i am finally beginning to outgrow that tendency, because of how i have finally learned what it is like to feel actually pretty chill most of the time and how much i enjoy and cherish that feeling.

the other work related insight i have recently had is that i really do fucking hate getting up and having to do work before a set time (session) later that day, with the exception of just kind of gathering my materials digitally or physically for any sessions. updating the homework docs the morning after is both unavoidable sometimes and tolerable but it’s amazing how much worse it feels to prep a practice test i’m doing in 4 hours than one i’m doing even just as far away as tomorrow. i AM for the first time in a while going into this week going into monday fully prepped for all of tomorrow’s tutoring and ALSO caught up on admin work and it feels really nice and i hope that having a certain regular allotment of Work Time will make it easier for me to keep that up while also, like, doing laundry and stuff. (i find it hard to do multiple types of things a day so if i’m in a Chores Day then usually i’ll work as little as possible and then suddenly i have to prep a whole ACT by tomorrow… anyway)

the kitchen remains… acceptable! although i should at some point probably purchase “groceries.” room still very bad, is what it is. i only worked out a measly three times this week but at least one of them was full body day & another day was a hiit day that honestly was very fun but still has my calves knotted up three days later. i did not text g. bc i am a terrible friend. i did see the apprentice and it was not good and i did not mind bc jerbear ate as i knew he would and honestly sebstan was p. good too! i have started rereading jonathan strange & mr norrell primarily as a bedtime book bc it is a good inducement away from bedtime scrolling which has been a Problem, my sleep has NOT been great. actually that reminds me that i might start doing little mini versions of these nightly because i have come to really like this little sunday night ritual and the sense of closure it gives me on the week as well as optimism or at least fortitude for the week ahead, and i feel like it may be the case that doing a little “and this was the day that was” post may offer a helpful transition in moving into Bedtime Mode. (part of me is like, could i just do that in a journal…. but… the thing is i actually don’t think i could…. journal is very good for some things but it is not good in all the same ways as Blogging……… for me, an insane person)

[ashen-vulture]

A Vulture In Therapy #3

The Appointment (Well, In A Few Months)

ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:15 AM

Hey so guess who just heard back from Doctor Erian's clinic after a month of waiting in the dark. I'm not scheduled until November, though Probably was too hopeful of me to think I'd have an appointment before my birthday

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:17 AM Nice! Do you have an appointment then? Oh, heck, that's a ways off ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:18 AM November 14th, yeah But I guess it gives me time to prepare So… what should I expect going in? I've heard mixed things about Doctor Erian… tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:19 AM Oh boy that's the big question isn't it So for me, and I think for a lot of other people, he went right into the gatekeepy "one letter from a physician, two letters from psychologists, live as your preferred species for however many months" ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:21 AM He can't be too bad right? Oh yeah I've heard about the "live as preferred species" thing. Not sure he'll accept my response but that's one of the few things I am prepared for. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:22 AM The thing is, I'm pretty sure it's all a secret test of your resolve and how well you match what you want He started hesitating once I got up in his face about how someone is supposed to live as a dragon for an entire year And he folded like a towel once I threatened to bite him But I saw him smirk, I think it was that I said 'bite' specifically ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:26 AM Huh. I guess I have some respect for that. Maybe a bitter respect but… uhg, I dunno, it's complicated. Like there are some things I certainly cannot physically do with my human body and that's the whole reason I want what I want. I really don't like arguing. This is gonna feel like my gallery capstone all over again. "No seriously I do know what I'm talking about, see it from this perspective" (strangling the Imposter Syndrome demon in the back of my head)

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:27 AM Yeah I don't know if he would have approved it if I'd shown any kind of doubt But maybe it's different for non-predator theriotypes idk ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM Maybe. I wonder how they'll handle a scavenger. I guess there's only one way to know. Oh, do you know when you'll get your first prescription fill? Does it take a long time? tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM I'm supposed to get it in September, apparently if you're on gender hormones you have to wait for the one year mark, something about being 'biologically receptive' But you won't have that issue so you might get yours a lot sooner ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM I suspect part of the wait is having to formulate each therian's medicine individually. Giving me cat HRT probably isn't gonna turn me into a bird. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM Yeah I guess this isn't One Size Fits Most like normal estrogen and testosterone are ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:36 AM Well. Nothing to do but wait now. Maybe getting on some of the Therian HRT support groups and hearing some more people's stories will help. Thanks for your input, hope your new therapy medicine arrives on time I might pester you with more questions in the future tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:37 AM Anytime! I'd be glad to help you along on this one ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM ^v^ (I've started using bird emoticons more, it's fun!) tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM I mean, you know how long I've been using cat emotes =3 So I get that

ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM

FIRST CONSULTATION APPOINTMENT TOMORROW WISH ME LUCK AAAAAAA- It's actually happening! It's actually happening!

tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM Gee I can't tell, are you excited? =3 ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:04 PM I am Anxcited Question: would it be considered too much if I came in with a folder of vulture facts outlining how similar humans and vultures are to each other, and how I've techincally been "living like a vulture" basically my entire life understanding that the parameters I need to fulfill exclude things that would literally kill me Because I already have the folder but now I'm second guessing myself and I can FEEL THE ANXIOUS INFODUMP INSTINCT I am either gonna say nothing at all or way too much HELP tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:07 PM Do it. Slap that gatekeepy doctor with every Cool Vulture Fact in your birb cranium Might improve your odds tbh ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You are a cool and awesome friend and I am glad I have you to encourage me when I am a scattered anxious mess Thank you Alexis tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You've got this Ash I believe in you =3

(featuring my long time friend and the person who acted as my gate into therian HRT, @tigergirltail)

[elis-blawg222]

November 8 - Friday

Whew! Caught up at last!! (took me long enough)

Today was actually pretty good. I called Angel before school which made me really happy!! (I love him sm ill sob rn actually). My class wasn't toooo bad. The teacher talked sooo much ugh, but I drew the whole time so it was fine. I made my oc thinnn n pretty, love him. Also we had to go around the room and talk to people for like 30 minutes. 30. (did yk you have 30 minutes??)

It was so nerve wracking, especially because I was unprepared lol. I bet I looked like such a total weirdo with the lack of eye contact I was making, but at the time I was just trying not to break a nervous sweat LMAO.

Then, after my class I went to the library (on call w/Ange) and did an assignment. I went home afterwards because my phone was gonna die, and I needed my charger.

After a bit at home, I went to my next class, and I had a test in this one. It went good I think! We studied beforehand which I'm really grateful for.

We had a break in this class, so I went to walk around for a minute, and during this my mom texted me with:

"Eli

What did u eat today"

...

nothing. So, I said "I had some chicken nuggetss after my class hehe"

to which she responded "No fries no pop. How many nuggets"

GURL. So i was like "I did get some fries lol? and i got 10 why?"

and she just CONVENIENTLY NEVER RESPONDED. UGH.

(but wait theres more.)

After my class ended I went home and got ready for work. I was otp w/Angel (because seriously when am I not?) and he was playing minecraft. It was so peaceful and entertaining to watch and listen to him play- I loved every bit of it. Then, we talked about how we should play together (I ltrly will do anything to idc).

Work was actually ehh, not toooo bad. My dad and friend and her mom stopped by which was nice, and also my hairdresser LOL. They both tipped really well (obviously my dad did but yk).

I went home after what felt like one billion years, I was so so so happy. When I got home I just said a few things about my day like I usually do, and made sure to slip in the fact that I got a free meal at work. Which isn't wrong, I did, but I didn't get anything. I actually am just gonna let my friend get something tomorrow. but they don't have to know all that shhhhhhhh.

Then my mom stopped in front of me and was like what did you eat? and so i repeated myself bc no one listens to me <3

(I told her fried chicken tenders, fries, mac and cheese for context, a very 'me' meal tbh or at least it was)

Then, she was like "how many chicken tenders?" "no drink?" "did you finish it? all of it?" "so then you ate 2 full meals today?"

oh. my god. like. genuinely.

why. is. she. interrogating. me. pls. fucking. leave. me. alone. IM GENUINELY MORTIFIED AND HONESTLY IM SO AGGRIVATED. LET ME STARVE IN PEACE HOLY FUCK.

I tried to act like a normal person and be like ??? why are you interrogating me? BC WHY ARE YOU (as if I'm not literally starving myself)

She was just like "because I need to make sure you're getting nutrients." ok girl.

Then, I went to my room and she went to bed. I cleaned my room a bit and did a homework assignment, so I'm pretty proud of myself.

Also if you couldn't tell by now I fasted today. I was gonna either 48 hr fast or do 2 24 hr fasts back to back, but I think I'm just gonna do around 36 hrs. I wanna eat in front of my mom tomorrow so maybe she'll start leaving me alone (I seriously doubt it).

It just gets really frustrating when every meal I have she thinks isn't enough, even when I'm genuinely full. I can't eat like I used to like I physically cannot, she has to get that.

Anywho, I was thinking of making some cucumber boats tomorrow, I think it'll be fun.

Total Steps: 6.7k

Look at me meeting my step goal for once. I'm gonna start really making an effort at meeting it!

'Til tomorrow :)

(P.S. actually getting activity on these makes me so nervous but haiii)

[bonny-kookoo]

Okay a drabble request for W.D.Y.W.F.M where the mc tries to just test Jungkook's patience to see if he was really telling the truth or just bluffing? Like misplacing things or trying to ignore him when he's talking to see if he gets angry or not?

He knows exactly what you're doing.

It's clear that you're misbehaving on purpose, always looking for his reaction every time you do something you're definitely not supposed to. From eating his snacks, chewing on things, to hiding in the house and not responding when called by your name.

You're testing his limits. You're trying to see what it takes for him to snap.

But he doesn't ever do that. He does scold you, and corrects your behavior by explaining what you should do differently next time, and yes he occasionally physically puts you in your place again, but he doesn't ever hurt you, or yell. He doesn't hit, or lock you in your room, or do anything similar to that. He's calm about it, removes himself from the situation for a moment if he deems himself too emotional to immediately react.

It's odd. You're not sure what to think.

Right now, he's standing by himself in the park you've both visited, arms crossed. You know he's most likely waiting for you, after you'd run off without looking back, ignoring him and his calls of your name. Now, you've returned, but he's not reacting to you, even closing his eyes once you're in front of him before he turns his head to look at something else other than you.

Is he mad? Probably.

It takes almost half an hour for him to do anything again, sighing, making you raise your head from where you've sat down near his feet, to watch other hybrids and pets run around and play.

"I'm upset with you." He voices out, and at that, your ears immediately droop down, almost flat towards the ground. The way he says it just makes you feel awful, way worse than any physical punishment would make you feel. "I know what you're doing, and I understand that- but I can't have you running away like that." He shakes his head, arms still crossed.

"...m' sorry." You mumble, but he doesn't respond to that.

"Lets go home." He instead says, walking away from you, hands in his pockets. It's a silent way of telling you that he won't be holding your hand, that you don't deserve that right now, and you feel terrible as you walk closely behind him, staying near him at all times the entire way back home.

Inside the apartment, he simply quietly warms up some food for you, puts it down before he leaves the kitchen. You never ate by yourself all alone since moving in with him. But today, you do, feeling not much of an appetite but also being unable to throw any of it away, so you somehow force yourself to finish your plate.

When you walk into the living room, he's on the couch, watching TV with a serious expression.

You slowly walk closer, sitting down on the couch with some distance, before slowly inching closer. Have you overdone it? Does he hate you now? He might, considering how silent he is with you. Maybe he will bring you back tomorrow. Maybe he's realized that he doesn't want you after all.

But you don't want to go. He's done so much for you, and you do like him- you just don't know what to do about it.

You want to trust him, maybe even let yourself fall for him, but you don't know if that's a good decision to make. Having been burned by other people's touch, you're wary of anyone at this point. You're not sure why you should trust him of all people. After all, he's an Idol- trained to lure people in with charme and smiles.

But it feels like his kindness is honest. And maybe that's the best you'll get.

Maybe even if he's lying it'll be the best you'll ever get.

You whine as you push yourself closer to him, trying to sneak your arms around his middle despite his own being crossed over his chest- when he seems to finally open up again, accepting you willingly and letting you even crawl onto his lap to cling onto him.

"There's no need to be such a brat with me, you know?" He says, a hand on your back. "I won't ever hurt you, or do something someone else might've done before." He explains, and you nod quietly into his chest, hands gripping the fabric of his shirt. "But running away is a no-go. You could've gotten seriously hurt, and I would've never forgiven myself for that." He sighs.

"I won't.. do it again." You mumble into his chest. "I'll be good.. just-" you cling a bit tighter to him. "-let me stay?" You ask, and he chuckles.

"I wasn't planning on giving you away anyways." He tells you, patting your back. "Not now, not ever." He reassures you, a hand patting your back playfully.

"And I don't wanna leave." You finally confess to him. "Not now... not ever." You tell him-

And he smiles warmly, holding you a bit closer.

[ferallove-for-tx2]

Teacher Sanemi x Teacher Reader

You were the theater teacher at the Kimetsu high school and it was a long day. The kids were wild and not listening so when the bell finally rang and signaled the end of the day, you were relieved. You entered the teachers lounge and saw Mrs. Kocho, Mr. Rengoku, and Mr. Shinazugawa.

“Hello Y/n!”

Kanae said as she set down her recently brewed coffee and Rengoku gave you a bright smile.

“Hello Y/n! How are you doing today?”

“I’m exhausted, the kids didn’t listen to my directions and nearly ruined the props, and then this one boy who was running around, tripped and knocked over one of the lights and it broke.”

You said as you plopped down on the couch next to Sanemi. Kanae giggled and Rengoku chuckled.

“Well, they might be teenagers, but they still appear to have childish behavior.”

Kanae said and sipped some more coffee, Sanemi glanced at you but then looked away and went on his phone. Rengoku peeked at his watch and decided that it was his time to leave.

“Well, I should get home and grade these tests, they aren’t going to grade themselves.”

He chuckled as he grabbed a couple folders and stood up from his chair and walked to the door.

“Farewell! I hope you three have a great rest of your day and get lots of rest! I’ll see you all tomorrow!”

You and Kanae smiled and waved to him, Sanemi nodded at him but remained silent. You and Kanae continued talking about the students and Sanemi sat there staring at his phone while scrolling but in the corner of your eye, you were able to tell that his phone was turned off. You were puzzled but decided to ignore it, maybe he was trying to look busy so that no one would talk to him. 

However, this was not his entire motive, he was acting busy so he could listen to the soft sound of your voice. He wanted to talk to you but he couldn’t, he was nervous because you were outgoing and confident and he was hot-headed and arrogant. He didn’t see himself worthy of you so he always tried to ignore and get rid of his feelings but he always failed. Kanae glanced at Sanemi and she got an idea so she got up. 

“I’m sorry that I have to cut this short but I need to go take the girls home, bye bye Y/n and Sanemi.”

She knew about Sanemi’s feelings towards you and she found it adorable and a little shocking. A grumpy angry person such as Sanemi capable of love and affection? She found it intriguing but she also wanted to see the two of you matched up so she would do anything to help that. 

“Aww okay, bye Kanae!”

You replied and Sanemi just huffed although his face appeared to be a bit red. She smiled before she exited the room, leaving you and Sanemi alone in the room. 

“So, how was your day? I didn’t get a chance to talk to you today.”

You said and he waited a beat before turning away from you and replying.

“It was fine.”

Sanemi didn’t really waste his time with words since most of the time he didn’t really care but with you, he cared a lot and tried his best to pick out his words carefully so as to not hurt you. 

“I like your…skirt…a lot.”

He managed to get out and you smiled. 

“Aw thank you, I was worried that it was too short and that people wouldn’t like it or think of me as an attention seeker.”

‘I would kill anyone who dared to hurt you whether it was physically or mentally.’ He thought to himself and just nodded. He had no clue what to say to keep the conversation afloat so he started looking around for objects that might provoke a conversation to start up again. You watched him with a hint of confusion on why he was looking anywhere but you. He spotted the fridge and turned back to you.

“What’s your favorite food or snack or dessert or whatever.”

He asked as he forced himself to stare into your eyes to not appear disrespectful. 

“I personally enjoy (favorite thing to eat), it’s delicious!”

Sanemi made sure to imprint that into his memory so he could get it for special occasions. He didn’t realize how much he was enjoying this time with you and this made him wonder how close he could get to you. 

“You said you and your students were preparing for an upcoming play?”

You nodded.

“Could you tell me about it and maybe even show me the set?”

He watched your eyes sparkle with excitement, he heard from the others about how passionate you were about theatre, he found it quite adorable. You got up and grabbed his arm before dragging him to your classroom which was also known as the theater. He watched you climb up the stage and pull the curtains to reveal the set of props. There was painted sceneries, costumes, plastic trees and plants and even a sound board. 

“What’s the play about?”

“It’s a romantic drama that circles around two teenagers who are forced to marry other people and since they are friends, they talk about how they relate to each other and as the friendship progresses, they eventually find themselves in love with each other.”

“Oh wow, so how do they find out they have feelings for each other?”

You smiled and held out your hand towards him which he took and you helped him on the stage and led him to the middle.

“When they learn that they have to slow dance with their fiancés, they want to practice and since they were in the same situation, they decided to practice with each other and as they danced, like this.”

You grab Sanemi’s arms and put them around your waist which caused him to blush like crazy, and you put your arms around his neck.

“They danced as they stared into each other's eyes and the sunlight dimmed and was soon replaced by the glow of the moon.”

You explained to him and he stared into your eyes, taking in all the details of your skin, your lashes, your lips. His heart pounded to the beat of your steps and he took a deep breath before saying.

“F*ck it.”

And he pulled you towards him and connected your lips to his. You turned into a blushing mess but soon melted into the kiss. A couple seconds later, he broke the kiss and looked away.

“I’m feeling brave right now so I’ll ask, will you go on a date with me, I’ll buy you your favorite food and we can do whatever you want whether it’s a movie night or a walk through the park, I don’t care. I just want to be with you no matter what, I already wasted enough time.”

The speed of your heart rapidly picked up and you smiled at him

“Of course, I would love to go on a date with you.”

He let out a big sigh of relief and hugged you.

“Thank you…I’ll never let you down, I promise.”

[yesbutmakeitgay]

Once Upon A Time I Used To Know A Girl

Chapter 20

Carol Danvers x Reader

Masterlist | This work's masterlist | AO3

Summary: You have news for Carol and Carol has news for you.

Angst, Slow Burn, Amnesia.

Word count: 1078

A/N: It's the final chapter, let's goooooo!!!!

These Stars Defy Love

"You got this, keep going," Fury encourages you, looking at his stopwatch. You’re performing a physical test to see if you’re ready to get back to work, "Just a little longer," you let go of the weights and exhale heavily, "that was pretty good, still six seconds short though, you’re almost there."

After resting for a few minutes, you go up to Valkyrie’s room to tell her about your progress, secretly hoping Carol would be around to hear it too. You knock on the door and are met with The Captain, "Hey, is Val around?" You try to play it cool.

"She went out."

"Oh, okay." You remain standing in the doorway.

"You’re looking good," Carol remarks.

"Thanks, I've been working really hard to get my job back."

"I’m glad."

You bite the inside of your cheek for a moment, "Can I talk to you for a minute."

"Come in." She steps aside so you can enter the room. As you walk in you see her bags half packed.

"You’re leaving?" You ask, slightly disappointed.

She looks at you apologetically, "Duty calls."

"When?"

"First thing in the morning."

"Without saying goodbye?" You’re offended.

"I was gonna tell you, I just wanted it to last longer."

"You’re leaving alone?"

"I don't really have a willing partner this time," she responds tentatively, her words drive right through you, it breaks your heart to see her go.

"I realized we never broke up," you blurt out, making her look at you in confusion, "I should do that now."

"Okay," is all she can say, there is no tension in the room, it almost feels like a joke.

"Carol Danvers, I think we should break up, it's for the best." You reach out your hand and Carol giggles before shaking it.

"For the best," she repeats after you.

"Now that you're single, maybe I can take you out on a date sometime?" She looks at you amused, but your features turn serious.

"For real?"

"For real." You smile again.

She’s a little skeptical, "I’m still leaving tomorrow."

"Then I’ll pick you up at 8." You wink at her before exiting.

That night you go to her room to pick her up, you take her hand and start walking her down the hall, "The stairs are that way," she notes suspiciously, pointing in the opposite direction.

"We’re not going down, angel, we’re going up," you exaggerate the pet name.

You arrive at the rooftop of the compound where you have carefully set up a picnic full of her favorite snacks and some drinks, all adorned with candles and surrounded by strings of fairy lights. Carol is in awe, "You did all this for me?"

"That’s right, I can be charming sometimes." You’re wearing a satisfied smile as you guide her to sit and settle beside her.

"This is my favorite spot in the compound," she whispers, still admiring your work.

"I know." You bite your lip.

Carol tries not to get her hopes up, "You remember?"

"I asked around." That somehow makes it even sweeter, she thinks. You both eat and have some drinks and eventually end up cuddling together under a blanket, stargazing.

"Don’t go yet," you murmur after a while, still staring at the sky.

"I have to." Her tone is gentle, almost like an apology. She turns around and places a soft kiss on your cheek, to her it's almost an afterthought, but to you it's like fireworks going off in your chest. You turn to her, feeling your entire body flutter and your faces come impossibly close.

You stay like that for a moment, neither of you daring to move, "Do you have a gym on your ship?" you whisper, she snorts and hums in response. You slowly move away from her and sit up, "I have to go."

She bolts up, "Already? I thought we were having a nice time." She starts to panic.

"I have to go pack my bags," you say coyly.

"Where are you going?"

"You tell me." With that, you stand up, and leave. She watches you go with a huge grin on her face.

It’s the next morning and you’re taking all your stuff into Carol’s ship, you see Valkyrie walking to her own ship, parked right next to Carol’s, "Leaving so soon, Princess?"

"Yeah," you respond in a dopey state.

"Oh, don’t be so sad about it," she teases you.

"Shut up," you chuckle, she walks towards you, looking unimpressed by how smitten you are, "Thank you, for everything."

"Any time," The King holds your hands in hers and leaves a cordial kiss on your cheek, "may our next meeting be joyful." You lower your head almost like a bow.

"And thank you for the ring," you add.

"Better give it to her this time."

"We’ll see." Valkyrie says her goodbyes to Carol, and retires to her ship.

Kamala approaches you with the last of your things, "Is that all?" you ask her.

"Yes," she sighs.

"Thank you, little Marv," Kamala giggles at Valkyrie’s pet name coming out of your mouth.

"Of course."

"I mean it," you reiterate, in a more serious tone, "thank you for looking after me, even when I was a pain in the ass, I owe you my life."

"Are you gonna become my knight in shining armor?" she mocks, you roll your eyes and pull her into a hug that doesn’t last long enough to your liking, but you don’t have three hours to spare.

Carol comes out to the back of the ship looking for you, "It’s time." The smile on her face could light up a whole galaxy, you hum in response. She instinctively opens her arms as she walks towards Kamala and the girl accepts the embrace.

"Are you sure I can’t come with?" Kamala pleads with her eyes looking up at The Captain.

"You have to protect the Earth while we’re away and you have to finish high school." Carol quips, "You can call anytime, day or night," Kamala opens her mouth, but Carol responds faster, "I promise to pick up, every time."

The Captain turns to you as she lets go of the girl, "You ready, angel?"

"Right behind you, Captain." You both enter the ship while Kamala stands outside watching the ship’s entrance retract with a bittersweet tear escaping her eyes.

You still have a long way to go in your recovery, but you know you are on the right track.

That is the end of this story, thank you so much for sticking around and going through this journey with me. I appreciate every single one of you, thank you for the love and I hope to see you in the next one :)

Let me know if you wanna be tagged in my next Carol adventure, maybe? It's coming out very soon, I pinky promise!

Tags: @graniairish @carols-photonblast @thelittleliars @unicorniusfallapatorius @prplepeony @eringranola @cordeliasdarling