#i should go to bed now but ugh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

essektheylyss · 1 year ago

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I will be writing a whole post on near-future global crisis books and how the genre is just rough and everyone should stop trying to write it and promote some nonfiction instead (once I actually finish this damn book) but I will say, shout out to the one chapter with the kayaker in SGV. LA does suck and we should rip it out and try all over again, so true.

#i don't understand why the fuck they describe sierra madre as 'between Pasadena and Azusa ' tho #like. no one fucking knows where those are in relation to the mountains anyway #ALSO i do take offense to calling the San Gabriel mountains ugly! they are NOT #I'm a bit biased cuz they were the literal only snow i saw as a child BUT I'm still right #the thing with having grown up around socal is like yes LA as a whole is brown and butt ugly #BUT the mountains are pretty and don't insult them they're all we have #ESPECIALLY in LA. the beaches are trashed and packed and impossible to reach #but the mountains can be seen from anywhere and they are my guiding stars #ALSO there is a big telescope up there! and i love it.#i should go to bed now but ugh #megs is reading

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puppyeared · 1 year ago

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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

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tooies · 5 months ago

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it's not that i think i shouldn't have to work it's just that i want more time in the day for me to do other shit

#like unless i wanna lose sleep my current schedule offers me like 4 hours of free time #and that's just part time. if i went to full time then i would have like maybe 1 #i need days to be longer so i can have more time to myself #that or my family has to finish watching ds9 so i can stop watching shows with them as much #idk i just feel like the only time i have to do anything hobby related is late at night when i should be in bed #and that makes me unhappy #not to mention if i wanna do any chores or important life stuff those also take up my free time #leaving me with even less #ugh whatever i gotta go to work now. you get the idea

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spaghett-onaplate · 4 months ago

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i wasn't that sick but I took a couple days off and I am so frustrated with myself for doing absolutely nothing productive whenever I'm home. does that frustration lead me to change those behaviours, however? no!

#like ugh even after just two days back in the routine of lying in bed like a useless potato sack i feel awful #ashamed and frustrated and gross and unrested #still better than before bc i did spend two and a half years doing that 😄 which is awful #but man i picked out my subjects for my senior years and i know i need to make some serious improvements 😭#yet i have not studied at all. i definitely could have however the Rot #when im at home im absolutely useless just lying in bed #anyway its fine im omw to an evening shuft now so its not fully unproductive #but man yeah i get a bit overwhelmed when i have heaps of stuff on after school. but feek worse when i have nothing #the more things i do the more energy i have #i think having one free afternoon is nice. one later in the week too #but otherwise i feel like i waste those free afternoons so it's better to have work or friend plans #or yeah the library i should start going there after school #ugh. whatever it's fine just yeag

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indigodawns · 8 months ago

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#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised #or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna #make you deal with that #but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been #cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ???#idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed #my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1 #and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd #yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀#so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk #ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure #* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest #anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd #other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been #even longer since we could talk 1 on 1 #like 2 weeks rip #maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip

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sanchoyo · 3 months ago

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trying to do truly deranged new things I haven’t tried before with coding after not practicing for a while is so painful 😔

#not for the comic site but for my personal neocities #in theory I know how I should do it but my brain short circuited #I’ve had a very weird day in my defense lol #I’ve been trying to leash train my cat after work bc I miss walking my doggy but man does she HATE IT!!!#which makes me very sad. however she did do some barrel rolls in the dirt which meant I had to wash her when I took her in bc girl ur not #going to get dirt on my bed sorry but that’s not happening #and needless to say neither she or I had fun. we r chillin now but good lord. The Scratches #this is a very funny development tho bc she used to try to hop into the shower with me!! where is that energy during bath time suddenly #we hate the wet?? like what??#I also had a weird dream and it set a weird tone for the day that I can’t shake 😔 ugh #not even nessisarily a nightmare just weird enough to be unsettling #sanchoyorambles

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guinevereslancelot · 10 months ago

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job interview this morning! 🫠😭🙃😬🤢😐👍

#literally sick to my stomach for some reason and did not sleep at all last night 😌❤️#im not even that worried about the interview or the job itself why am i a train wreck lol #tried to go to bed early and everything but literally could NOT sleep ugh #anyway aaaaaa #i should have printed my resume out but its too late now #wish me luck tho #😅🙏#this has been a shitpost #hopefully once the interview is over i'll feel better and i can crash for a few hours when inget home or something lol

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goldensunset · 3 months ago

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neo bianca’s side sprite in weird lighting looks Odd i was like ???? who or what is that

#ugh i don’t wanna go through chargestone cave it was so difficult last time……#but i stay silly #i should probably go to bed now lol #goldie plays pokémon black… 2!!!

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willow-lark · 6 months ago

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social blunder made ‼️

#am going to bed rn #but ugh ugh ughhhhhh #the way i’ve been doing this for monthssss #but somehow didn’t add 2+2 like i SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT #and i should have shut my fucking yapper ‼️#lark girl come on now let’s have some SOCIAL AWARENESS #and now i feel awful 😣#dumb bitch ‼️

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crows-of-buckets · 5 months ago

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Sometimes all of my ocs decide they wanna do laps in my head all at the same time so I just end up sitting there like "I want to draw tyrian and Daeran, and Aviae and Morrigan, and Lucio and Anders, and Selene and Sera, and my other Hawkes and my other warden and-" and then none of it happens

#I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT DRAWING DAERAN AND TYRIAN. FOR WEEKS NOW #i still havent played the dlc <//3 #dragon age obsession hit and also im back into sdv so #i am in a yapping mood tonight (does not want to go to bed)#maybe ill reread some of my tyrian and daeran fics hm #i need to post more than just the one #but most of them are not even CLOSE to being publish worthy #im so nit picky about my fanfic #for fanart im just like 'here take it or leave it.' meanwhile for fanfics i get so nervous posting that i just geniuenly wont look at ao3 #for days on end #i think i have another Daeran and tyrian fic close enough to done that i couls wrap it up #but i feel like dae is slight ooc #ugh #i should go to bed #i wanna draw my first kc too #she romanced arue i love her #i just have like. no stuff for her sadly

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treecakes · 6 months ago

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also i feel slightly less insane now that i’ve actually eaten something.

#still exhausted head hurt really shaky right now though #but i SHOULD. work on this essay tonight. because i will not want to tomorrow #but i do not want to tonight either. ugh. i want to go to bed at 5pm

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stirdrawsandreblaws · 8 months ago

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i have so much fun with ffxiv bc like. me and my friends that play have a wol team and we roleplay tons when we're able to all be on at the same time

sure it takes forever to actually progress bc we're all having hours-long scenes after story events to work out the impact on everyone and, in some cases, who was impacted more than the others (like thorgeim being the one who got framed during that one incident, whereas the dragoon wol had a lot of specific stuff during heavensward, etc)

i'm told there's some shit later on that Complicates the wol-team idea but i don't want spoilers and i'm confident we can work it out when we get there so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#we basically all rp together bc we don't want to get story spoilers from randos...can't even visit venues without that being an issue :(#but it's nice having a static party for basically every story dungeon and fight #we're at....early-mid stormblood now i think? after like...two years lol though part of that is just not having time to play #so many maxed out sidequests and lore things tho...it's great #stirring up trouble #we have another friend who doesn't roleplay but does have some fun insights from time to time and has many helpful tips #and their character is thorgeim's wifey lmfao. they're both so grossly over-the-top affectionate lolol #and then one more friend who basically never plays with us these days but when they do it's like. Top Tier Roleplay. i love...#currently trying to convert other friends to ffxiv (though realistically we're not gonna be on much for a bit but still)...join us...#become part of the wol team....lets get a whole sentai group going lmfao #that or join our all-viera side group bc that is. definitely a Thing. massive tonal shift from the wol team lol i love them sm #the bundie brigade!! their whole gimmick is doing all their fighting in their skivvies basically to show how tough and/or agile they are #they started out as just being silly side characters and became MUCH more than that...oops we gave them lore and trauma #ugh ok i need to stop yelling abt this now. it is Bed Time and i have shit to do tomorrow.#i should draw and post them at some point tho...i love them sm....

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feral-anarchy · 2 years ago

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Just trying to finish up a thing I told myself I'd do.

#Aaravos #tdp #the dragon prince #sparkles #they did him dirty this last season #season 4 #s4 #startouch #wrong #gross #ugh #I could forgive everything else but this was my breaking point #just uploading it here now cuz I forgot to before and it wasnt time yet #aary #I hope it looks clear #it looks kinda pixelated in the upload screen #I should just go to bed now

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running-in-the-dark · 9 months ago

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I'm so desperately bored rn. can't do anything. because all I want to do is think about Dan or Jenkins. but I don't want to let myself do that because then I'll lie down and fall asleep and the day will be over and it'll feel like I didn't do anything.

can't even watch anything. nothing feels right. I'm. so bored. I tried drawing but. nope. head empty.

#.. except for him #which is NOT helping #I hate this feeling #someone stab me please #wanted to paint. it's been a few days. but can't.#baaad bad brain feelings #wish I could just stay in my stupid daydreams forever. it feels so much better there.#which is why I can't let myself go there right now. I can already feel myself going back to just. lying in bed daydreaming all day #like. I just. can't stop it. it's all I care about #i just want to be there #I want to be with them and I can't so everything feels pointless #how do you get over that #it keeps happening again and again even when everything's fine #idk I just feel so lost #existence is pointless #maybe I should become one of those horrible people who don't watch/read/interact with anything fictional #but then what would be left #of me I mean.#not much #ugh I'm insufferable right now #personal

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perigelion · 10 months ago

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sigh. fucking depressed

#spent most of the day in bed bc i didnt want/have the energy to do anything.... ugh #im gonna. get up now. Make some tea?#i want some fruit. I have some fruit. I will eat said fruit.#i should reallyyyy do the laundry but ugh thatll take Time....#and i have to go to work tomorrow.... again #but at least when i go to work i actually do things and dont feel like sludge... mostly #sigh. getting up now

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ningningkittie · 10 months ago

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#i havent been wanting to get out of bed in the morning at all lately :((#i just dont want to :((#today i should be going to the gym w my mom nd then stop by the store nd library #tmrw i have to go to school #but omg i rllyyyyy dont want to i wanna cry #i feel like skipping it today even if then i dont get the book i wanna read bc they'll send it back today #plus there r some things i'd like to get at the store. but ugh i just wanna stay in bed and stay in my room #and i had an unpleasant dream of my school years :/#i dream of that and my class all the time and it fills me w such anxiety :(#stuff like that. that anxiety most ppl fill me w. reminds me how badly i only want to be w him #but maybe it's ruined now. bc of miscommunication.... i havent even dared checking the app #bc im sooooooo scared to open it and be met w the unread sign. that he hasnt even seen my messages #that'll hurt me so much so i just dont even open the app. now i have no idea if he's seen it or not nd thats all i can deal with atm #it makes me so sad tho bc if he rlly wanted to he could have me. and i have such a big heart w sm love to give to someone :((((#he's like the one person i've met who fills me w calm instead of that anxiety #which is somewhat funny to say bc he also makes me so sad sometimes :(( nd frustrated #but ohhh even now all i can think abt is being w him nd having a future. even if idk if nd when we'll even simply talk again skskksksk #sighhhhhh i was so happy to have talked to him almost every day the past week... i have things i wanna share w him constantly!!!!! but then #i ofc made a mistake w i always do. i just wish ppl could come to me nd talk abt it instead of just getting upset and pulling away :((

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