#i should be working on MY store
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coping by trying to be a good little guy @ work i made us a new webpage and no one cares!!!!!
#sniffle but i did so good#i should be working on MY store#ugh#im so fucking sad#i should put a little fella somewhere on the site as a treat for myself#a little eye fella
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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there's something so poetic about coyote vs acme being the thing that causes wb's 'the producers' ass scheme of shitcanning movies for tax breaks to blow up in their face and cause them to turn to the camera, blink twice, and dissolve into a little pile of ash that their eyes fall down into with a little bounce
#to be honest. my partner keeps saying that movies that were canned for tax breaks should be public domain and i agree#we literally paid for them? they're ours now????#anyway i really hope it makes it out into theatres/streaming and i'm glad that the backlash worked#but also like. why shitcan a nearly finished movie that made it to test screenings when the industry's been at a standstill for a year?#where's you buy your intelligence? at the stupid store?
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It was Maid Day today yesterday a week ago so I got struck by inspiration to draw the worsties, and it ran away from me into a whole AU where they’re coworkers at a maid cafe. She’s a med student & this is just a part time job, and this is his depression job while he gets his life back together. He needs something he can be workaholic about to forget what it’s like having a personal life and personal issues. He’s actually the accountant, but the new hire janitor (Izutsumi) doesn’t show up for half her shifts and is a sloppy worker, so he gets the extra work of doing her job on top of his because he’s undervalued and overworked. Of course, janitors also have an uniform to keep the aesthetic cohesion as they go about cleaning the place, of course.
Senshi’s the part time cook you only see slivers off, he’s kind and warm when you do see him and have a chat but most shifts he’s in and out the kitchen without a trace. Laios and Falin are regulars because Falin and Marcille are besties & in the same med school, Laios accompanies Falin as she visits her friend at work and gets hooked on the food. Chilchuck has to remind Marcille to work instead of chatting with Falin for an hour, and next thing he knows she’s distracting him from work too. That’s it that’s the AU. Inspired by this idol AU fanart a bit <3
This was not meant to be birthday gift but well…… Happy bday Chil!!!
Read from left to right
#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Chilchuck tims#marcille donato#spoilers#dunmeshi au#Maid cafe au#Marchil#Workwife marchil save me. Kabuholm in the background bc i said so lmao#i think people forget marci n chil are coworker worsties first and foremost. Ppl should capitalize on it more#The orange hair swag that makes him look like a marketable idol more#You can tell idk how to draw maid outfits. I hate those hats sm I will miku miku beam them out of existence#Marcille does change her hairstyle everyday btw#they don’t get back together btw she goes you haven’t talked to me in 4 years and he immediately goes YOU haven’t talked to ME in 4–#i mean ehem i’m sorry haha… while Marcille is like 4 years?! 4 years…#Mei only did it bc Fler has been getting jittery again kept sighing#I wanted to draw Chil with a car key at his belt but it wasn’t meant to be#idk if marchil ever gets together in this one it’s an eternal summer coworker with tension situationship au#romance is when you slowly deteriorate his work ethics so he starts skipping on his worktime to spend it at the front messing around w you#once he’s blessedly in the office and he hears this huge crash and the Marci just goes ‘…… Chiiiiiil?’ cue sigh and having to repair#the coffee machine. So many lil comics i couldn’t indulge myself to draw save me#shoutout to the time as a cashier in training at a convenience store I was left by my coworker who was supposed to wash the greasy chicken#oven but didn’t so I had to clean it for the first time myself while I was alone in the store and was also supposed to man the front#Shoutout to my convenience store’s accountant helping us with cashier duties often when there was less job to do ty ty#Understaffed struggles are so real#People also call Chil a manager because the boss is most often away so he just does everything#There’s no union but maybe one day he’ll get to overthrow the boss idk#The pay IS good at least#Modern au
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more pictures of my favorite guy ever 🖤
I really wanna make that keychain..
#aa#ace attorney#simon blackquill#fanart#the first image actually I made a while ago when the cleaniing machine broke at work and they made me mop up the entire stupid store#and it made my back really hurt so i put simon in a similar situation bc he should suffer every misery on earth#it was gonna be a bigger picture with a proper bg but i hated it and i got sick of looking at it so i just truned up the colors and called#it a day
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THEY’RE HERE!!!!!
#BIG DAY BIG DAY!!!!#dealt w my first store down on my own at work today!! fucked up a little but learned a lot!!!#books arrived!!!! quality checked 3/4 of them and oh my god guys theyre BEAUTIFUL i have no words!!!#AND IM OFFICIALLY AN IRISH CITIZEN AS OF TODAY!!!!! YIPPEEEEE!!!!!!#BIG DAY FOR MISS CARTOONS#i move on monday so i should be able to begin shipping rly shortly after!!! :D hope yall are excited!!
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#rough day#my dad is having a terrible time and I can't really help much without someone to help ME#so that's scary and sad#and the Christmas thing im making for my bf looks beautiful but i made a really really bad mistake#that means it is incredibly delicate to the point it will ultimately not be able to withstand things like dusting or being stored#so it has to go in a bell jar or something similar#and i will redo it completely after that#and i feel bad for making a mistake i was warned about because i badly misjudged what other artists meant by 'light layers'#i should have tried a more thorough test run but i thought there probably wasn't time and i turned out to be super right about that#i know the longevity thing doesn't matter much as long as i have it ready for my boyfriend#and everything else can get sorted later#but i am doing absolutely beautiful work on something i know won't survive and the context of the piece makes that unutterably sad#and the situation with my dad is awful and upsetting and i don't know what to do#i'm not a very good grownup i really am not and so much of what is being asked of me is crap i cannot do#or what is going to be asked of me#my boyfriend is here for me but doesn't know any more than i do and i feel very alone#anyway the thing im making may be fragile but it's still so beautiful and i think you'll love it when i share it
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For the Spirits— Chapter VII: Take Me South
Take me south when it's the time
Pour me away like golden wine
I'll form a splash and it will dry
But in the shape of you
—Pure You by Nothing But Thieves
.
Yume placed her hands on her hips and took a step forward. “That I do, yet I can't help but wonder about the timing. Heading South, seeking information on the Tribes…it's all very sudden, don't you think?”
The folded parchment hidden under his vest suddenly seemed to hold the weight of the world. Zuko placed a hand on his chest, where the sketch rested just above his heart. He stared thoughtfully at the floor.
Why now, indeed?
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#prince zuko#zutara au#for the spirits#new gods au#spirit touched zuko#atla fic#atla fanfic#zuko fanfic#atla oc#lu ten#lu ten atla#zuko's crew#For the Spirits Chapter VII: Take Me South#AKA In Which Lu Ten Is A Little Shit And Zuko Is Done™ (He Is Also Having An Existential Crisis But That's Just The Usual)#Ten Ten comes back! After six chapters he comes back!!!#I missed my baby boy SO much#It's time for him to annoy Zuko with his well-intentioned yet somewhat-disturbing chatter#Lu Ten is in his own little bubble. Ghosts have a...certain way of looking at things and it bleeds into his dialogue and antics#He is always such a delight to work with. Exploring his perception of the world and his interactions with Zuko is incredibly fun#Hopefully we'll see more of Lu Ten in the future... Or will we?#I'm so excited for the Southern arc you have NO IDEA#It's pretty short but so intense and I can't wait to see your reactions to what I have in store#I hope to surprise you all#Just how will the Crew react to Zuko's rather out-of-nowhere decision to head South? Will anyone reach out to him?#Stay tuned for more emotional damage and spirit shenanigans!#The art for this chapter should be posted soon. It's one of my absolute faves so far.
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i meant to post this yesterday but when i saw my sister yesterday she was wearing the shirt i made her in 2019 for her college graduation present !!!! here’s a pic from when i finished it
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its this cute little windowpane check linen tunic with a contrast light green patch pocket & i matched the bias tape…. i always forget i can sew! and the top stitching on the pocket was so neat when i looked at it yesterday too! i’m so touched that she still has it & it’s holding up & looking good. i should make more clothes
#it’s the only garment i’ve EVER finished so it’s nice that she still wears it#i made a bag for her as part of the gift too i wonder if she still has that#that was an oilcloth with leather straps. rivets & brass hardware and everything#i did it in like four hours because i was fucking PRESSED for time. that was a merchant & mills pattern iirc#not the tunic that was somebody else. can’t remember rn it was a long time ago#this was when i worked at the fabric store so it was very easy to both use their space and have a handle on things#i’m out of the loop now#photo record#chatpost#um. should i put it in my art tag. i did make this#don’t i have a crafts tag too? idk#crafts tag
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Kaneki Goes on a Trip Part 4 - finally back at accomodation! Despite his exhaustion, he makes time for reading before bed…
#kaneki ken#my art#tokyo ghoul#ken kaneki#kaneki adventure#guy who is so tired from his day that he falls asleep on the cable car but still stays up to read a book#had to give him reading glasses too today#my faulty eyes bbg 🫶#I think it’s very important for him to take a holiday every once in a while#he works so hard killing people and abandoning his friends he deserves a rest#who else is excited for his endeavours in the tourist town!?#at some point he’ll visit a hot spring and potentially attend a festival depending on how motivated I am#and go shopping for a souvenir (at the thrift store)#he should also attend a meal for ghouls but plated delicately like a human meal#I hope he has fun
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Haha I love that face Ochako makes 😂😂 We’ve all logged a brush in some knotted hair, but to loose it entirely 😭 Love this kid, she’s got so much potential
She loves to store things away in her nest(hair).
(ask context)
#kacchako#myart#anon ask#ask#answered#kacchako family au#who knows how much is stored in there??#her hair has Mary Poppins' bag logic#*she pulls out a whole floor lamp*#ty for enjoying my silly doodles anon!!~ I LOVE seeing all your messagessss!! I live for theeemmm#i should be working on other things but this idea wouldnt leave me lol#back to work for me :P#Also- Im doing well anon! Thank you!!#just been busy with projects x.x#trying to get things done before the holiday season but uhhh#idk if i can make the deadlines i set#criess#mini comic#quick doodle
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they are going to mehnahnaroo
#my art#mission to zyxx#C-53#pleck decksetter#dar mtz#ok time for some of my appearance headcanons#i was just gonna give c little dot eyes but i was goofing around with the doodle#and i was like. oh actually little light up ocular sensors that look like 👁️👁️ are kinda funny#i'm kinda trying to hit the space where the juck bot frame could conceivably have the same inner workings as the c frame#but it's got more like. idk plating and synthetic skin and stuff#i also think that ideally this type of frame is supposed to be more fully covered? with skin. less visible joints#and is supposed to have a cooler better looking face#but they got it at a discount store that sorta refurbished it juuuuuuust well enough to sell#they also mention in the show that the eyes glow and the jaw comes off#if there were any other details i forgot about them#i like tellurians to be Pretty Much Human#but I do like the pointy ears interpretation for one main reason:#i can put perfect little pointy ones on tellurians that are the Standard for good looks (rolphus etc.)#and give pleck ones that are slightly larger and a little bent. i just think that's fun#i'm also a short pleck truther and do not believe he is skinny. that man is at least midsized. actually probably just midsized#cause if he were too big he would be too cool#ohh and first time drawing the k'hekk eye yayyyy. it should probably be nastier but i can only do so much#dar i really imagine round cause it's like the classic Big Guy shape and they have no bones in their head so it can't be that structured#bodywise my design is def inspired by tikkitronictonic and snuffysbox's designs#i was at a total loss on how to interpret the talons and chutes and flaps when I was listening and this is easy and smooth#maybe the only major difference is that i imagine dar is pretty hygienic and furry scales feel like they'd be hard to keep clean#with all the uh. goings on#so i've got those across the chest and arms and then the torso is smoother in my mind#also ik dar is supposed to be like twice pleck's size but it's hard to stand these people next to each other#my brother said they made up a thing called mass shifting in transformers g1 to excuse the scale issues. so i'll do it too. get off my case
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markers #21
Happy Birthday, Ayumu! 🥳🥳
While I was in in Tokyo earlier this year, I passed by a crafts store and found lots of pretty paper flowers. I thought they'd make really pretty shikishis... 😊
I've been drawing Nijigasaki for 4 years and this would be the 3rd Ayumu birthday I've drawn for... Wow! 😅😅
Ayumu's my favourite by far - so much that it's kind of hard to word why but I'd hope that adoration comes across in my art. There was originally a comic I was making for her, but I couldn't finish it in time. I hope I can make one in time next year!
WIPs
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#this shikishi was especially so fun to work on!#i experimented more with colour glows (eg. yellow blue green) and it really adds to it!#Also when gluing the flowers i realised i should pay a lot of attention to the angles so i can indicate a third dimension#(eg the falling petals as opposed to gluing flat)#it's cool!!!#i bought tons of stuff from stationary and craft stores when i was in japan#so im excitedf to use them!!!!#i hope i can make better and better shikishis...!#i feel like my skills are still very mediocre but the growth from the first ones is pretty dramatic#lets keep working hard!#love live#love live njiigasaki#ayumu uehara#copic markers#myon's markers training arc
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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they don’t want you to know that you can cold brew tea that right now before bed you can put a bag of tea in cold water in the fridge and wake up to a beautiful cold beverage with zero risk of harsh tannin flavor and you can do this for ANY tea black oolong hibiscus spearmint it’s all within your power
#my after work cold brew oolong today 💪🏻#I have been saving glass pasta sauce jars specifically for cold brewing and storing purposes so I can keep a rotating cast around me#you should put it in the fridge for bacteria reasons. sorry sun tea#obviously also works for loose leaf before anyone comes at me I just have a lot of tea bags to use at the moment
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i love bringing anti-establishment vibes into the establishment
#im radicalizing my coworkers#but also im like why are yall not as antiestablishment for me when the corporation we work for is obviously horrible#the pharmacist literally got yelled at (not even hyperbolic) for taking off around christmas#luckily the store was closed on christmas day itself#but like bruh#then we literally have severe understaffing making unsafe working conditions for the patients#and we are all running around like a chicken w our heads cut off all shift#im like guys we are all slaves to the corporation#and theyre all making even less money than i am and i dont even make that much#except the pharmacist of course#idk how everyone doesnt have my very anti-establishment mindset#but anyway#i hope my pharmacist didnt take what i said as an insult#i just said that the corporation is forcing one pharmacist to check 8 million prescriptions in 5 seconds#and when you work faster than you should it causes more mistakes#but that was after my one coworker said but (pharmacist name#) does it#so i hope she didnt take that as a dig at her#bc shes writing my recommendations LMAO#and also just bc i like her#bc shes just doing the best in a system that has set her up to fail#its not her fault#she's a good pharmacist#but in this environment safety or patient care is not the priority profit is#and they literally just cut the store hours again#so theyre just making it even worse
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