#i see a himbosexual

[tendou-satori-chocolatier]

Akaashi: I think I might learn mandarin

Bokuto: how do you learn a small orange? It's a small orange

Akaashi:

Akaashi: marry me

[kamen20ghost]

Arc prank at its fines

Where in vacuo as we see Ruby, Nora and Weiss hanging out and then jaune walks up to them.

Jaune: Ruby I have a present.

Ruby: Dope what is it?

Jaune: *Hands her a potato.* here

Ruby: *holding the potato* oh oh what?

Jaune: *waves and leaves them* bye

Ruby: *worried* oh no guys he did it again!

Nora: Monty oum what is it this time?

Ruby: he gave me a potato.

Nora: *Confused* why did he give you a potato?

Ruby: *more worried* would I be this close to tears if I knew? I mean had it bin somewhere? Did he do something to it?

Weiss: everyone calm down he’s thrown random clownery at us before we can figure this out. We just need to thing about this rationally.

Nora: for jaune?

Weiss: That’s a good point. we need to think himbosexually.

Ruby: *Looking at the potato.* guys I’m getting really hungry.

Nora: no just just just drop it

Ruby: Are you psychotic? What if it explodes?

Nora: why would it explode?

Ruby: *A bit scared* why wouldn’t it explode

Nora: *very confused* I don’t know!

Ruby: *shakes the potato* Then what good are you to me!

Weiss: He’s not evil he wouldn’t try to kill us.

Ruby: *Tears forming in her eyes.* you don’t know that.

Weiss: Another good point. Why must every male friend I have be some version of a dick.

Ruby: *Panicking.* Guys are my hands sweaty or was this potato always this wet.

Nora: Oh gods! It’s wet now

Ruby: Maybe it was always wet! I don’t know!

Weiss: good bi gods in heaven. You don’t think he?

Ruby: don’t say it whatever your opinion is I don’t want to know it.

Nora: *Faning her self.* guys I can do this. I I gotta go.

Ruby: Nora don’t you leave me here with the suspicious vegetable!

Nora: *Backing away quickly.* I love you guys I’m sorry.

Ruby: your straight inside Nora it would never work!

Nora:*Flips Ruby the finger.* fuck off!

Weiss: it’s alright Ruby I won’t abandon you.

Ruby: weiss this the fourth most terrifying potato I’ve ever held.

Weiss: *Confused* I can’t even begin to understand what that means

Ruby: Warm!!! Why is it warm now!!!

Weiss: *Backs away form Ruby.* I’ll always remember you Ruby.

Ruby: *chases after Weiss.* Weiss get your flat chested ass back here. This was not on my mod board for 2024!

Jaune: *Watching from a distance.*sometimes they do it to themselves.

[innytoes]

"Sure I'm a little stupid, but that's like 80% of my charm!" Is such a Reggie line

Everyone knew that Reggie was a huge flirt. It was fun! There were a lot of cool and pretty people in the world, and he enjoyed letting them know that. He gave fans T-shirts 'size beautiful', he complimented cool haircuts, he made people at parties giggle with his cheesy pick-up lines.

It never really went anywhere, of course. Sure, sometimes the handsome barista would give him extra whipped cream, or they'd get some new follows on social media for the band, or he'd make out with a cute girl for half an hour before they never saw one another again.

But that did mean he was the only single person in their group. Alex and Willie had the most romcom meet-cute ever, literally crashing into one another. Luke and Julie were basically soulmates, anyone could see that. Hell, even Flynn and Carrie finally figured themselves out, going from friends to enemies to lovers.

And then there was Reggie. Goofy, flirty, fun Reggie, who was great for a one night stand but not much more, apparently. He tried to let his friends set him up. (Kayla was great but came out as a lesbian the following week, which was... something.) He tried the apps, even the shady kinky one. He tried going to cool events, concerts, nerdy meet ups. Nothing stuck. Or should he say, nobody stuck around.

He tried not to let it get him down, but after the umpteenth time of getting ghosted, he was wallowing on Alex and Willie's couch, feeling sorry for himself.

"I mean, I'm not hideous or anything!" he ranted, playing with one of the dozens of fidget toys Willie had lying around. "Sure I'm a little stupid, but that's like 80% of my charm!"

"Plenty of people in LA who are himbosexual," Willie nodded sagely, as if he wasn't one of them.

"I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. That girl from the club we played last week, she seemed to really like me. She even asked what I played as in my current D&D campaign. And then knew what I meant!" he whined, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. "A pretty D&D playing punk rock girl gave me her number and then didn't respond to any of my four texts. Not even the puppy gif! And if I send any more I'm a creep!"

"Oh for..." Alex said, annoyed. "Do you think maybe she hasn't texted back because the second you even thought Julie said your name you turned to her like a lovesick puppy?"

"Alex," Willie warned.

"Or maybe because you talk about Luke and Julie like they hung the moon, the stars, and invented pizza?"

"I don't... I talk about the whole band," Reggie said, even as he thought back. Okay, maybe he had mentioned Luke and Julie more often, but only because they wrote the songs. And yeah, when Julie said his name, of course he checked in with them. Maybe it was time to go.

And yeah, maybe he thought Julie was the prettiest girl in the entire universe, but she was dating Luke. (The hottest dude in the entire universe.) They were happy together, so Reggie tried to be happy for them. He just needed to find someone that made him that happy, too.

Right?

"Reggie," Alex said, grabbing his hand. He looked serious. "The reason you can't keep a date is because you're totally in love with Luke and Julie. And they look at you the same way."

"What?" he stared at Alex. "Like, for real?"

"Yes!" Alex said, looking a little fed up, but mostly very soft. Because he cared about Reggie. Even if he was like 80% a himbo.

He thought back to all the times Luke and Julie had invited him along with them on dates, on how they always plopped next to him (or even better, on either side of him) for movie nights. How they never passed up an opportunity to share a mic with him, giving him a head nod to come over, or holding it out to him.

How every time they sang together, sparks flew.

"Oh. Oh!"

"Finally," Alex groaned.

"Wait, why did you try to stop him?" Reggie asked Willie, betrayed.

"I had five bucks riding on you figuring it out yourself," Willie said, unrepentant.

"I'll make it up to you," Alex said, rolling his eyes. To Reggie, he said: "Now get off my couch and go get 'em, tiger."

[gatesofember]

a while ago I made a post saying that the real reason Nico got over Percy is because he’s himbosexual and he realized Percy isn’t actually an idiot. and uh. glad to see this book confirmed that.

[musickool]

thank you for the tag @moonshapedbox <3

january: kiss it better - rihanna (dang what a sombre way to start this year.... how most very accurate)

february: magnolia - playboi carti (standing on bidness wbk 💯)

march: super freaky girl - nicki minaj (slutty cunt month, we popping pussy ladies. happy women's month)

april: my love mine all mine - mitski (oh ffs, dont you start)

may: see you again - tyler the creator, kali uchis

june: bad girls - M.I.A (villian era GRRAHHHH)

july: go/xytayalive 2 - kanii, 9lives (what a full circle, this song was literally on repeat last year july lol)

august: who's that chick - david guetta, rihanna

september: telephone - lady gaga, beyonce (starting academic year with a corporate cunty era! how most delightful)

october: xtayalive - jnhygs, 9lives

november: body party - ciara (goddamn how many months am i being a whore???? 2024 aint playin lmfao)

december: drunk in love - beyonce, jay-z (im dead, this whole year is ending with me being a slut, goodfuckingnight-)

i'm tagging @hannatox @chloebff @worldsgreatestsinner @tedsbogusworld @gea-chan96 @sunnythebunny7 @himbosexuality and anyone who wants to join <3

i wanna start a tag game so: let your spotify predict your 2024!

shuffle your on repeat playlist, and the first twelve songs represent your 2024

january- guns and ships- hamilton (idek what this could represent but okay)

february- we fell in love in october- girl in red (PLEASE)

march- say no to this- hamilton (…i have nothing to say about this)

april- castles crumbling- taylor swift ft hayley williams (damnit sad month then?)

may- you’re losing me- taylor swift (FUCK TWO SAD MONTHS?? breakup songs are even worse now that im actually in a relationship. please. better not be accurate)

june- astronomy- conan gray (please stop why am i having so many sad songs)

july- stoned- ed sheeran (oh fuck this)

august- new year’s day- taylor swift (hm okay. idk what to say about this)

september- heather- conan gray (i consider heather to be a happy song AND it’s mine and my partners song so i’m taking this as a good one)

october- 18- one direction (yessss we’re going okay now)

november- king of my heart- taylor swift (YESSS)

december- all too well (ten minute version)- taylor swift (i take it back ugh)

no pressure tags!!- @autumnleavesforwinter @weeping-in-the-willows @swiftieannah @felizusnavidad @jittyjames @anixknowsnothin (please help me get this off the ground, but also if this flops you saw nothing)

[bird-seed27]

hoo hee hahaha

tagged by @lankyledlights tf thank you homie

: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people

AIR

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers (online) / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio spotify is always playing

WATER

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / i am a valued advisor to my friends / my humor is very cheerful / i believe in true love / i love the chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

I tag @zwiezraczek @troiloka @homosexuality @himbosexuality @fagphobe @venusplexus @mackaylashitposting

[recollectician]

celine vc; are you himbosexual bc i see the way you look at lord chrom

Him running away because HE ISN’T READY TO REVEAL THAT YET- 

[space-beanz]

i was tagged by @lankyledlights !

1. name: AJ!

2. nickname: also AJ!

3. zodiac: taurus sun, cancer moon, and leo rising

4. height: 5’7?? 5’8??? i don’t remember

5. languages: english and im learnin spanish!

6. nationality: lesbian (i thought u were american?)

7. favorite season: fall!

8. favorite flowers: forget me nots, poppies, azaleas, carnations, bluebells, daisies, dahlias, daffodils, and geraniums!! i like a lot ok

9. favorite scent: fresh linen or pine

10. favorite color: lavender or a golden vibrant yellow or a pastel pink I CANT CHOOSE

11. favorite animal: ferret but it changes a lot

12. favorite fictional character: nico di angelo (been that since seventh grade don’t @ me)

13. coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: green tea but hhnggg hot chocolate is so yummy,,

14. average sleep hours: 6-7

15. dog or cat person: both!!!!!!!

16. number of blankets u sleep with: 1 blanket and 5 pillows

17. dream trip: japan (i’m actually going to europe super soon to see paris, england, and switzerland!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

18. blog established: idk lmao like 2019

19. followers: 40 im baby

20. random fact: if u want i can ramble to u about space for many many hours. also i like stardew valley.

i tag @charbes , @himbo-ted , @himbosexuality , and @homosexuality !!!

[innytoes]

6+67 for Juke for the mashup prompts, please?

Bookshop AU + Character in Peril

Julie wasn't sure what she was expecting when her aunt said she hired a boy to help at the bookshop and that he came highly recommended by Cheryl from the book club that met there every first Saturday of the month to argue about what book they were going to read.

Okay, that was a lie. She'd been expecting some weedy dork in glasses and a cardigan. She hadn't been expecting a surprisingly buff dork in a shirt with the sleeves cut off. She'd never been more upset and pleased that her tía's bookshop didn't have a dresscode, just brightly coloured name tags.

Luke was bouncy, and enthusiastic, and at first glance, you wouldn’t think he belonged in a bookshop at all. More like a record store, or somewhere that only sold vintage guitars or something. He’d admitted to Julie he’d mostly taken the job because he was saving up with his band to record a demo, but that he also really liked to read. 

Julie had found him more than once, crying over a book of poetry or a sad novel during his break. He seemed to read everything, from the latest YA to the classics to whatever Cheryl’s book club was reading. 

So not only was Luke, as Flynn put it, ‘Quality Work Eyecandy’, he was also well-read, and sensitiive, and musical. He jokingly called her ‘Boss’ when they worked together, because technically Julie had seniority. (A whole four months of it.) It would almost be too much, if it weren’t for the fact that he was also profoundly stupid. 

Except it turned out Julie found Stupid kind of endearing. Julie, Flynn had told her, gently taking her hand, was a himbosexual. She liked strong, pretty, polite, and dumb.

And Luke was just... such a himbo. And he proved it often.

Like the time she’d walked in on him trying to get his toaster waffle out of the toaster with a fork. And the time she’d found him balancing on a stool stacked with six wobbly books to get something of the top shelf of the storage in the back. 

Like today, when she had to tackle him out of the way before a whole bunch of books came crashing down on him. He’d stared at her, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, where she was sprawled half on top of him, hanging over him. They were so close their noses almost touched. Up close, she could see all the different colours in his eyes, rings of blue-gray and green and amber. 

“You saved me,” he breathed out, staring at her in awe. 

“You should be more careful,” she said, feeling her entire face heat up. She hoped it wasn’t too noticeable, but from the way his pretty pink lips curled into a smile, she was pretty sure it was.

“You got it, boss,” he said. “But to thank you for saving my life, what do you say I buy you a milkshake after work?”

“That depends,” Julie said, stalling. She was still on top of him. She kind of didn’t want to move, even though she knew she should. Luke bit his lip. “If you promise to look both ways before crossing the street, then yes.”

The grin reappeared. “Promise. I’ll even let you hold my hand, just in case.”

[bird-seed27]

Thanks for the tag @doctorqueensanatomy :))

Rules: answer 15 questions about yourself and then tag 15 people

Nick/Name: Shannon

Zodiac: sag

Height: I've graduated to 5′4 now

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Last thing I googled? Updates on SpaceX rocket launch

Song stuck in my head: Tell Me Why by The Beatless

Following and Followers: 440/ 173

Amount of sleep I get? 8 to 12 hours

Lucky number: 7

Dream Job: I don't dream of working

Favorite song? lets go with “Wild World” by Cat Stevens (Jschluts know)

Fave instruments? to listen to: guitar to play: piano

Random fact? I used to do competitive ski racing! like what you see in the Olympics. (I also play tennis and volleyball)

Fave authors: I don't read

Fave animal noises: HEE HAW HEE HAW

I tag @generaldarneron  @internet-resident @lankyledlights @troiloka @homosexuality @himbosexuality @bluehairedspidey @zwiezraczek @mackaylashitposting whoops not 15 but idrc