#i scrolled through the comments and all the top comments are people saying her music got them through their battles with cancer

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Just experienced the worst bout of nausea ive had in years legit thought it was over for me i was writhing and gasping in pain my mouth was filling w saliva like when its bout To Happen, until, i had a olllld old memory come up, a memory of how my mom would play enya for me when i was nauseous as a child and it always made it go away. so i tried it i put on the enya and within 20 minutes ive completely regained equilibrium and all pain vanished. Kind of shocking honestly. What frequencies does she embue into her lovely melodies what tones im convinced she has the codes..

[bi-writes]

Your MOB au gives me so many butterflies 🥴 I hear the key to a long and happy marriage is to be with someone you think is funny. How do you think Simon and his wife make each other laugh? I can see them being the couple that gossips while people watching or MOB wrangles Simon in bed to show him funny cat videos on her phone.

mail-order bride

simon likes spending time with you without screens. he does love watching a movie with you, but one of his favorite ways to spend time with you is to open a little closet of board games and play one of them with you. he'll put on a little music, spread out the game, and you usually spend the evening sitting in his lap and playing either on the couch or on the floor using the coffee table or at the dining table.

"simon, what would you do if i was a worm?"

simon raises a brow, fitting a corner piece of the puzzle into place. he snorts a bit.

"wot are y'on, love?"

"i'm serious!" you laugh. "what would you do if i was a worm?"

"step on you, baby. you'd be a fuckin' worm. gross."

you pout a little, dramatically, and simon winks at you.

"olright, love. i'd put ya in a little box and cherish ya foreva. tha' wot y'wanna hear?"

you giggle, settling in his lap, picking up an edge piece and putting it in its spot.

"yeah. that's what i wanna hear."

"simon, look."

you hold out your phone in bed, shoving it in his face. he grunts a little, squinting at the bright screen, and he raises a brow as he watches a compilation of orange cat videos put together. he chuckles a little when he sees it, leaning over the bed and planting a kiss on your cheek. he rolls over onto his side, curling a big arm around your waist and pulling you back into his chest. he tucks his face over your shoulder, leaning over you, and you spend the better part of an hour giggling to yourself as you show simon the collection of videos on your feed.

the next morning, your phone pings while simon is away on base. you hurry out of the kitchen, wiping your floury hands on the apron you wear before seeing a request for a new follower.

you open the app, raising a brow when you look at the account without a profile picture asking to follow your private account.

pumpkin__eater141 wants to follow you.

you click on the profile, rolling your eyes when you see the only picture on the account a very grainy, filtered photo of two sergeants sticking their tongues out and holding up bunny ears behind each other. in the background, very blurry, you can see a glimpse of a skeleton-bone painted glove holding up a middle finger. the caption reads wankerzzz!!!!

the account has 1 follower (sudz_n_budz141), and it follows none, and you can't help but smile when you see the profile has nothing but a cherry emoji as the description.

you accept the follow request, and you follow them back. the whole day, every so often, you get a new video as a direct message. when you finish with the sourdough and leave it to rise, you start to scroll through the intermittent messages you've already gotten.

more cat videos. crazy dashcam footage with the comment "fuckin' mad." some woman who makes crockpot meals with every kind of bagged cheese you can get at the store on high for five hours.

you can't stop smiling. and when you pull out a pot to make dinner later, you and simon make eye contact before laughing.

"olright, baby, which one ya want?" simon murmurs, nuzzling his mask against your cheek. you giggle, looking up at the display. there's stuffed bears, big squishmallows, pillows. you reach a hand up behind you and caress the back of his neck, biting your lip until you point up at the big cherry squishmallow hanging by the top.

"gotta hit all the glasses to get that one, mate," the attendant says, and you look over your shoulder up at him.

"ooooo...not sure if you can hit all your targets, lieutenant riley?" you ask, and simon snorts, kissing your jaw through the mask before making his way towards the game counter. he picks up the toy rifle, adjusting it in his grip before holding the sight up and taking his stance. you bite your lip watching him. he looks incredibly sexy with that thing in his arms, even if its a fake. it's even sexier hearing the bell ring and watching your husband with terrifying precision knock every glass bottle down. one after the other, each glass falls, and you squeeze your legs together slightly as he goes for a bonus round and knocks them all over again, even quicker.

he turns around when he has your prize in his hands, a big fluffy cherry with a little smile and a little green leaf hat. you squeeze it to your chest before standing on your toes, and simon leans down to peck your lips through the mask. he wraps a big arm around your waist, and when you both pull back, you can't help your big smile, the laughter, that sweet, pretty shine in your eyes.

simon laughs, too.

it's easy when you're this happy.

[earlysunshines]

lights, camera, action!

danielle marsh x actress!reader ; fluff

synopsis: you passed your media training classes but that doesn’t stop you after a couple of drinks from leaking that you’re very much attracted to danielle marsh on live

warnings: alcohol ; soobin from txt but he's actually an actor (idk why i use him in my fics sm) and also other idols that are actors instead of... idols ; discovering sexuality ; reader is whipped for danielle ; danielle is whipped for reader ; gay gay gay they're so in love i hate myself ; anyhting else not mentioned ; not proofread

a/n: hi i need her so bad like sooo bad like she’s so. like. like hey. hi hai. hi.

@/ynln is live!

the viewers catch a little glimpse of your flushed cheeks, slow blinks, and lazy smile.

you’re not drunk, not at all, you’re just naturally an idiot and even more of one after a few after-party drinks. the remnants of laughter and lively conversation from the after-party of your premiere still lingering in your ears. the giddiness hadn’t left your body at all.

“heyyy guys.” you fail to set up the camera on your hotel desk, so you resort to flopping onto the bed and holding it yourself. “i hope you all are well.”

the screen was filled with comments almost immediately—fans were sending love, compliments, and congratulating you on the new movie, and praising your looks during the premiere. your smile grew wider, your cheeks burned a little warmer than before.

@/lnloverrr: you looked so good at the event

@/yourstruly84: a look for the books

@/ynloops: so excited for the movie! can’t wait to see more action roles from you!

@/tokkilvrr: celine queen!!! you rocked the top

“aww you guys are so cute,” you say, a little more giggly than usual. the only thing illuminating you at the moment is the city glow filtering through the curtains, so you turn on a lamp in order for your fans to see you better. “i’m so happy you guys are excited about the movie. it means a looot, really.”

you scrolled through the comments, answering a few questions about your favorite scenes to shoot and what the cast was like. you went on a whole ramble about your male co-star soobin and how you almost beat him in an arm wrestling battle after two shots, which led to another ramble about how rigorous the process of working out to achieve your physique was for this film. it was fun talking about all the fun behind-the-scenes moments, one of them being how you have a video of soobin tripping over the props, one which you will definitely be posting once the movie is out.

after skimming the comments a bit more, most of them being “can i get an i love you?” or various compliments which keep a smile plastered on your face. but then one catches your eye, making you raise a brow: do you have a celebrity crush?

“oh, a celebrity crush? well i don’t know if i have a crush, but more of a friend crush if you get what i mean.” you laughed, the sound light and loose. you pause, thinking it over as more comments pop up with heart emojis and people begging for an answer. you sigh playfully, leaning against the bedframe and blinking slowly again. “okay, this is going to sound so cheesy. you know how i like newjeans? i’ve mentioned it before… but i’ve been such a fan of newjeans since their debut. like, seriously, their music is always on repeat. i’ve made soobin and the rest of the cast listen to them — soyeon loves them actually. ugh i loved their debut ep so much and then they dropped ditto and–”

@/koalaln: okay so… it’s someone from newjeans?

@/minjiplsmarrymepls: not my fav actor being a tokki

@/phammipham: girl if you don’t tell us rn…

“oh yeah, celebrity crush, right.” you chuckle after reading the comments again. you bit your lip before continuing, “well, aside from newjeans being one of my favorite groups… they’re all talented and beautiful, of course, but oh my god. danielle?”

your voice dropped to a more earnest tone as you looked right at the camera again, shaking your head and blushing a little. you could blame it on the alcohol.

“danielle is probably one of the prettiest people i’ve ever seen. her visuals are like, insane. like, she has this elegance to her, she’s glowing, but she’s also just really cute. i’ve seen some of their interviews and she’s so bright and bubbly and i just think she’s so adorable and— yeah. i love her energy.” you let out a small, tipsy laugh, not realizing how much you were rambling—again.

“and the thing is, we’re both ambassadors for celine too, so i’ve seen her from afar at events and stuff. i’ve never actually met her, which is crazy, right? i mean i've met park bogum but not her! you’d think we would have bumped into each other by now, but nope. i kind of just admire from afar, like her pictures don’t do her justice but they… do? she’s stunning in person, at least from afar.”

the comments started blowing up with people freaking out, sending a variety of emojis that you couldn’t even count on both hands. they were saying things like “omg you’re totally fangirling right now,” “okay purr y/n is danielle biased she has taste,” and even “you and danielle interacting or collaborating would be iconic.”

you blinked at the screen, noticing the way the chat kept mentioning her name. you rubbed your face with your hand, blinking hard again. “oh my god, am i talking too much? anyway!” you waved your hand, laughing as you tried to shake off the embarrassment creeping up your neck. “next question, next question.”

you spent a few more minutes answering questions about your movie, sharing more stories of what happens on set (making sure to include how many times jaehyun fell asleep on set — which was far too often and in the most questionable positions. you wonder how someone falls asleep leaning against a wall). by the end, your eyelids were starting to droop, and the comments were still buzzing with your confession from earlier. you blinked again, then thanked the fans for their support once more to wrap up the livesteam.

“alright, i’m about to pass out,” you say tiredly, smile turning soft. “thank you for putting up with me. love you all so much.”

the phone in your hand dropped onto the bed after ending the livestream. your head lands on the pillows and you sigh, a grin still on your face. before you knew it, you were out like a light, blissfully unaware of what you’ve just started.

—

the sun filtered through the hotel curtains, which warmed up the room. you stirred, eyes fluttering open as a ray hit you right in the eye, making you roll around the other way. 

unfortunately for you, this wasn’t the only thing trying to wake you up. your phone buzzed insistently next to you, and you reached for it blindly, squinting at the screen as your manager’s name flashed across it. you crinkled your brows, confused to say the least.

“hello? mark?” your voice was hoarse with sleep, tinged with last nights events.

“morning sleepyhead,” mark’s voice was calm and a little playful as always, but there was an unmistakable edge that meant business. “do you want to tell me why you’re trending on every social media platform? and you even made it onto some entertainment sites.”

a groan slips from you as you sit up all too quickly. the memories of your late-night live stream start to flood back. “shit.”

“‘shit’ is right. you do know that gushing about a girl in a kpop group — not to mention a very popular one — might get you a good amount of attention? and don’t make a pun.” you hear his signature sigh from the other end of the line. “your fans and her fans are going wild, and some press outlets are running with ‘actor y/n’s crush on danielle from newjeans’ headlines.”

shifting yourself to the edge of your bed so your feet can dangle off, you groan into the phone. “i’m so, so sorry. i must’ve fucked up my image like crazy, god i’m so sorry for—”

“hey, wait.” he says calmly. “it’s actually not doing anything harmful. if anything people are into how much you admire the group, considering you’re quite the celebrity.”

“oh thank god–”

“it’s just not low-profile.”

heat crept up your neck, and you covered your face with one hand, your back meeting the mattress again. “i— yeah, i was tipsy. soobin is a terrible influence, and weren’t you—”

“i’m just your manager, i just work here y/n.”

you scoff playfully at his remark, then continue, “i guess i didn’t notice how much i talked about her. but it’s not—i mean, it’s not untrue, but still…” you trailed off, cringing at yourself as you placed a hand over your eyes.

mark lets out a sigh, softening a bit. “look, it’s not the end of the world. just be prepared for questions, and try not to fan the flames further if you don’t want this to become a bigger deal. but, you might want at least to have a statement or some kind of response ready.”

you nodded, even if he couldn’t see you. “yeah, okay. thank you for the heads-up. sorry.”

“and next time, maybe don’t go live after an after-party. don’t think i didn’t see you downing somaek with jennie.” he adds, the hint of amusement in his voice making you relax a bit. 

“noted. very much noted.”

after ending the call, you drop the phone beside you, your heart still thudding. with a deep breath, you opened twitter up, and just from your burner account you could see that you were trending. the timeline was overflowing: fans reacting to your confession, edits already circulating with your quotes—they even managed to find every clip of you mentioning or listening to newjeans, putting it in slideshows and edited videos. you can’t even lie, the effort is amazing. and even worse, or better? there were articles with headlines like “actor y/n admits to crushing on danielle from newjeans” and “actor y/n confirms she’s a hardcore newjeans fan.”

okay, hardcore might be a stretch.

(or maybe not.)

despite all this chaos, you couldn’t help but smile a little. you tap a quick text to your manager again: sorry again. i’ll be ready for whatever comes. 

and another, more impulsive, and raw message to your group chat with your best friends and  co-stars: i think i should just die. never going live again. someone needs to take my phone and burn it.

but as you scrolled and saw fans posting supportive, teasing comments like “we love an honest crush!” “y/n is lowk so cute for this” “it’s so refreshing to see celebrities being transparent about who they admire” and even a “y/n and danielle when??? y/nelle??”, you couldn’t suppress the slight flutter in your chest.

—

in contrast to your morning, danielle’s wasn’t all that stressful. maybe a little, but it didn’t have her laying in bed for an hour and pondering over every life decision she’s made. not like you did. 

danielle had been making eggs for her members — sunny side up for hanni, boiled for minji, and scrambled for the haerin and hyein — humming quietly to herself. the morning was relatively peaceful until hanni burst into the kitchen, phone in her hand with a mischievous grin on her face.

“dani, you won’t believe this.” hanni plops down on a stool at the kitchen island, turning the phone over. “you’re gonna want to see it.”

danielle raises an eyebrow, turning down the heat. “what is it?”

minji and haerin joined, peeking over hanni’s shoulder as she played the video clip. “y/n, you know, the one from that one coming of age movie you like? what was it… the one with— it doesn’t even matter. just look.”

danielle’s brows furrowed with confusion until hanni hits play. the room fills with the sound of your slurred, soft voice as you gush with genuine excitement. 

“oh yeah, celebrity crush, right. well, aside from newjeans being one of my favorite groups… they’re all talented and beautiful, of course, but oh my god. danielle?”

even minji and haerin gasp, looking at danielle in surprise. danielle’s jaw drops open slightly as she takes in the information: you, l/n y/n, are mentioning her. danielle marsh. but it gets even better.

“danielle is probably one of the prettiest people i’ve ever seen. her visuals are like, insane. like, she has this elegance to her, she’s glowing, but she’s also just really cute. i’ve seen some of their interviews and she’s so bright and bubbly and i just think she’s so adorable and— yeah. i love her energy.” 

the spoon danielle had been holding slips from her hand and onto the counter, clattering agains the marble as she stared at the screen. “wait— what?” her voice was barely above a whisper, her cheeks heating up.

 “look at you,” minji laughs, nudging her. “one of your admirers is an actor—a really popular actor, dani.”

“i—” danielle’s mind raced as she watched you on the screen, your eyes bright, cheeks flushed as you rambled on. the admiration in your tone made her heart skip a beat. it was one thing to know that you were at the same events as her, and another ot hear that you’d been paying attention to her. that you think she’s pretty. 

hyein seemed to pop out of nowhere, her arrival probably unnoticed from what was currently unfolding. “dani… someone who was in a marvel movie has a crush on you.”

danielle blinked. a smile broke out as she looked at her members. “you’re all ridiculous.” but even as she laughed, the warmth in her chest lingered. the fact that you, the actress she’d admired form afar and whose movies she’s watched with her family, thought of her like that—it was surreal.

minji raised an eyebrow knowingly. “come on dani, don’t act like you haven’t been wanting to talk to her at those events.”

“yeah dude,” hanni nudged her younger member. “she popped up in doctor strange and you started rambling about her.”

danielle’s smile turned shy as she rolled her eyes and turned back to the stove, her mind still replaying your words. 

maybe she’d muster up the courage to talk to you, just maybe.

—

you’ve been busy, to say the least.

the past week you’ve been interviewed a handful of times everyday. your movie starred the choi soobin and jeong jaehyun, which earned a lot of attention. what surprised you was just how much attention you’d receive. there were various edits of you being made, some even showed up on your social media and unfortunately your group chat. 

people had dug up scenes of you from your other projects, editing them and helping them resurface. it was safe to say you were growing as an actor, as if confessing your ‘love’ for danielle marsh didn’t already do enough. but who were you to complain? this was great. you were rising in popularity for not only your looks, but also your talents and personality. it was endearing — flattering you beyond comprehension.

the rise in popularity even led to you having to hop on a flight to japan, not only to be interviewed further, but also for an event for the brand you ambassador.

the celine event had an air of sophistication and elegance. it was a sort of luxurious haven where celebrities and models mingled under the crystal chandeliers, surrounded by other “fancy stuff” as you would say. soft music played, mixing in with the sound of conversations and clicks of cameras. attendees were showcasing the brand’s newest pieces for the season, with handbags being paraded, their metallic accents catching the light.

you fit quite well into the scene, it would be a lie to say you weren’t one of the main events. there was an effortless style exuded from you, clad in tailored slacks that were held perfectly by a leather celine belt. draped over your frame was a crewneck sweater with the brand’s logo, and to finish off the look you had another leather piece on your shoulder: a matching handbag to go with your belt. 

the first hour was spent smiling for the cameras and eavesdropping on the whispers about your recent rise in popularity. more cameras flashed, and journalists angled for a glimpse, but your focus soon shifted when an all too familiar figure stepped into view. maybe you’re overwhelmed, maybe it’s not her, there so many people here. at least that’s what you told yourself.

once you got a breather, taking the time to roam around the area, you barely had a moment to process before a gentle bump jolted you out of your thoughts.

a woman, draped in a stunning beige dress accented with a sleek grey blazer, stumbled slightly. instinct kicked in, and your hand shot out to catch her arm, steadying her. wide yes met yours, surprise softening into a shy, grateful smile as she regained her balance.

“oh my, i’m so sorry!” she breaths out, her cheeks tinting a faint pink. “i didn’t see you there.”

“are you okay?” you ask, your mind catching up to the moment. your gaze lingered as recognition fell over you 

danielle.

the feel of her arm in your grasp made your heart stutter, but you forced yourself to stay composed. 

“yes, i’m fine, thanks,” danielle says, straightening up and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “i never expected to bump into you. not like this—not literally.”

your smile turns sheepish. “i— i guess i made quite an impression,” you joke lightly, withdrawing your hand slowly.

her eyes light up with recogniition. “well, the live from last week was more of one,” she teases, her tone warm and playful. the mention of the live made your face heat up, and a laugh bubbled out as you glanced at the floor for a second.

“you saw…?” you ask, rubbing the back of your neck. 

“i think everyone did,” she giggled, her smile softening as she added, “it was... really sweet.”

the initial nervousness faded as the two of you fell into conversation, friendly and hesitant at first, but your words quickly became more confident as you both exchanged stories and thoughts on the celine events. compliments flowed naturally, and you found yourself surprised at how easy it was to talk to her beyond the admiration you held at a distance. danielle, on the other hand, grew noticeably more flustered as you threw in subtle flirtations—quick grins, playful remarks about how she looked so much better up close and in person.

“wow, it wasn’t the drinks that make you so… charming, huh?” she says with a small laugh, eyes shining as she tried to regain composure.

“well, i’m finally getting the chance to talk to someone i’ve been wanting to meet for a whike,” you admitted, voice soft and genuine. “i just wanted to be transparent, is that alright with you?”

“of course.” her smile turns bashful, and for a moment, silence settled between you two, comfy and warm. the lights dimmed as the models prepared for the runway, but neither of you paid it much attention even after being separated again.

after the showcase, you two found each other again, wanting to exchange numbers. 

“this is the first time i’ve given a fan my number.” danielle admits jokingly as you type in your contact information. you look up from the phone and smirk, sending a weird shiver down danielle’s spine.

“really? i’m honored.” you say, handing the phone back. “let’s talk soon, okay? i’d really love to be friends, and i’m really sorry for the whole livestream incident by the way. sorry again.”

she laughs, smiling at you and it’s really strange how it makes you feel all tingly. 

“it’s alright y/n. would you like to hangout when we’re back in korea? if that’s alright.”

“oh, yes, of course.” you smile at her once more before looking at the text from your manager: ride’s here, you ready? the notification earns a small sigh from you. you glance back at danielle and bite your lip to prevent a frown. “well, i’ll see you.”

“wonderful.”

—

when you think you’ve had your peak of attention, it just seems to grow more and more.

the morning after the celine event your phone buzzed against the nightstand of your hotel, waking you up. squinting, you reached for it, the device cool against your fingers. notifications flooded your screen, but at this point that’s nothing new. at the top, there was a teasing text from mark:

“looks like you made quite the impression last night. maybe your live wasn’t so bad for your social life, huh?”

curiosity piqued, you scrolled through social media, your eyes widening as countless photos of the event filled your feed. comments from fans were overwhelmingly supportive, celebrating the unexpected dynamic between you and danielle. 

most of the photos were candid shots—the two of you caught in conversation, eyes bright with amusement, smiles soft and natural. the internet had already begun to label you as friends (which you didn’t mind at all), though some comments and posts weren’t so subtle as they implied something more, playfully shipping you two as a potential couple.

you rolled your eyes — it was ridiculous — you weren’t even sure whether or not she liked girls like that. even if she did, the whole livestream™ probably weirded her out. what you sought was friendship, but the ship posts did make you smile to yourself. maybe you’re just weird. you figured you needed to snap out of it.

unfortunately for you, more photos entertained the idea of something more than friends. in them, you were gently holding danielle’s wrist, steadying her as she’d momentarily lost her balance that night. the angle caught the way her expression softened as she looked at you, an unguarded moment that felt oddly intimate, almost cinematic. 

you’ve acted in various romance scenes, but none of them were real. neither did any of them look as… jaw-dropping as this.

the caption on one post read: “the way they look at each other… could this be the start of something?” the reactions were a mix of heart emojis, enthusiastic comments, and threads analyzing your body language and every nuance of the pictures. your cheeks warmed as you scrolled through, noticing how even the simplest gestures were being magnified and dissected as if this were an advanced art course.

you reread the text from your mark, smiling as you typed back a short light-hearted response:

“maybe i should go live more often? haha”

even as you set your phone down, your mind replayed the moments from the night before—her laugh, the way conversation flowed effortlessly, and that brief touch that started to flood your mind. 

you simply had a friend crush on her, nothing more, right? probably, you hope,

—

danielle pushes open the front door of the dorm, the familiar warmth and laughter of her members greeting her as she set down her bags. before she could make it further into the living room, hanni glanced up from her phone and smirked knowingly.

“look who’s back! how was the celine event?” hanni’s tone was casual, but her eyes glimmered with mischief.

danielle’s brows furrowed slightly, but before she could answer, hyein popped up from the couch, waving her phone in the air. “more importantly, how was this?” she tapped on the screen, and a slideshow of photo’s appeared—the ones that had been trending online. danielle, dressed up elgantly, smiling up at you as your hand was on her wrist, both your expressions open and genuine.

“oh, that…” danielle felt her cheeks warm. “it was nice. we talked a bit actually, y/n is really cool!”

“really cool?” minji echoes from the kitchen, “that’s a new one.”

“she’s just a new friend i made who happens to be an actor,” danielle rushed out, even as a small uncertain flutter stirred in her chest. the words felt like they were only said to cover something up, but danielle couldn’t pinpoint what it was that she was trying to hide. she’d made new friends before, but none of them left her thinking about them the whole flight back home. she felt kind of restless in a way, but maybe that’s because you had a different kind of charm and aspect to you.

“a new friend and actor who also has a celebrity crush on you?” minji asks.

“people have celebrity crushes and that doesn’t mean anything, minji. besides, i’m not much of a celebrity to her anymore, am i? i mean we’ve met properly now.”

hanni raises a brow at danielle’s comeback, exchanging a look with hyein, who giggles. “right, just an actor who has expressed her admiration for you in great depth. okay.” hanni draws out the last word, amused. danielle crosses her arms, feigning annoyance but feeling a heat creeping up her neck.

the group finally eases off, shrugging and returning to their own chatter, but danielle couldn’t shake the lingering awareness. maybe it was just the newness of it all, you’re an actor, a very famous one now at least. 

her eyes dart to the pictures on hyein’s phone again. the moment you had caught her from stumbling was simple, just an instinctive touch, but there was something about it that replayed in her mind. it was confusing—this new, unfamiliar feeling. she hadn’t considered herself someone who might fall for a girl, and there’s nothing wrong with girl’s liking… girls. but you’re not a girl that she likes, at least not romantically. you’re just really pretty and nice, and besides, she hasn’t even gotten to know you on a deeper level.

still, she’s spiralling a little.

–

y/n: hey :-) i just got back to my apartment it was nice bumping into you! let me know when you’re free? if you’d like to grab a bite or something of course you’re really pretty in person sorry, i’m fangirling haha

soobin’s top half of his face is on the top right corner of your phone as you stare at the screen. you sigh, cringing at each text you’ve sent. soobin raises a brow at the sudden change in expression, plus the small pout on your face now.

“what now?” he questions.

“am i doing too much? what if she blocks me. what if i just die—”

danielle: hi! i was watching a movie with the members hehe it was really nice meeting you! i’ve been a fan of your projects i really liked your scene in doctor strange as well and in your recent film  you’re a very good actor!

you literally drop your phone, earning a confused noise from soobin. when you pick it up again, he’s making a face that asks for more answers, but you’re too busy waiting for texts to pop up after her little typing bubble forms.

danielle: i’m booked tomorrow, how about the day after?  you can pick the time and place 😁

y/n: i’m busy tomorrow and the day after unfortunately 😞 how about in three days?

danielle: i’m free in the evening 👍

y/n: that’s perfect! can’t wait

danielle: me neither ☺️ i really enjoyed talking to you at the event

y/n: aw, thanks you’re really cute  and sweet, danielle

danielle: im blushing stop!! hahaha i’ll text you in the morning y/n 😊❤️

y/n: okay! 

soobin is still on call with you when you drop the phone on your bed again. he hears a the sound of your feet kicking against the bed and a small squeal.

“what?” he squints at the screen as you pick your phone up again.

“danielle and i are hanging out on friday.”

he looks surprised as he says, “really?”

“why do you sound so baffled… i can make friends soobin…” you huff, pouting at him.

—

you exhale deeply as you look at yourself in the mirror. there’s a green, long-sleeve comme des garcon top that you spent way too much money on hugging you just right, accentuating the build of your arms that you worked very hard for due to the new movie. custom-tailored denim fits your legs loosely, held by the same celine belt you wore at the thrilling event.

to hide your identity a bit more, you wore a beanie and a zip-up hoodie on top (another piece of clothing you spent way too much money on. you need to stop buying vintage exclusively), as well as some sunglasses.

you head out of your apartment, slip a mask on, and take the elevator down. 

it’s been a while since you’ve walked around and enjoyed the area you lived in, so you decided to walk to where you agreed to meet danielle: your favorite cafe.

it was a fifteen-minute walk, a quick five-minute bus ride, then five more minutes of walking until you reached your destination. when you get there, danielle is already sat at a table. you catch her checking her phone and smile to yourself.

“hey,” you greet, sitting in front of her. “did you wait long?”

“not at all,” she shakes her head, then looks down at her drink. “i just got a latte actually, i was going to text you earlier. ah! i should’ve waited to buy–”

“no– no, it’s fine.” you assure, grinning. “i’ll buy one myself and meet you back here, give me a minute.”

“right, of course.” 

you give her another small grin before ordering something simple: an almond latte. you waited only two minutes for it before heading back to danielle. after placing down your mug, danielle looks amazed at the tulip design, pulling out her phone and taking a picture. it’s cute, the gesture, and her—but that’s for you to keep to yourself.

you meet back with danielle, who’s in the same booth by the window. the cafe was quaint and tucked into a quiet street corner, so there wasn’t usually much attention or people. you really liked that aspect, considering your status, so it easily became your favorite spot. 

and because there wasn’t much going on, it was easy for danielle to be under some sort of spotlight—in this case it’s the autumn afternoon glow hitting her features. you remind yourself that this is just a platonic hangout, obviously. it’s not exactly a date, maybe a friend date—but the closer you got to her the more you started to question the “friendly meet-up.”

“this place is so cozy,” danielle says, glancing around as she took a sip of her latte. “thanks for suggesting it! i’ve been so cooped up and busy, haven’t had much time to go around. plus, it’s nice to be somewhere new.”

“i um, thought you would like it…” you reply, stirring your coffee absentmindedly. “i mean i like it a lot. it’s my go-to spot, a little hidden gem when i first got to korea. it’s also really quiet at this time, so no chance of anyone recognizing us.”

danielle smiled at that, her cheeks warming. “i can’t tell if that’s comforting or more nerve-warcking.”

“is that so?” you tease, “afraid you’ll be stuck with me if no one interrupts?”

she laughs, shaking her head. “not exactly… i actually really like being here with you.”

you grin—a bit bashfully. “aw, i’m glad im here with you too. i still can’t get over the fact that i’m with newjeans’ danielle.” 

she shakes her head, absentmindedly stirring her straw in her iced latte as she looks at you. " well, i hope that now… between us... i can just be danielle, even dani, if you prefer that.”

she gives you a shy smile before dropping her gaze to her coffee, and for a second you swear you saw a faint blush on her cheeks. maybe it’s the light. 

“so,” she says, changing the subject, “is your schedule hectic these days? with what i’ve seen—you know, your promotions—shooting for movies and events; i don’t know how you do it.”

“sometimes i don’t know either,” you chuckle, shrugging. “it’s worth it though. its kind of surreal—i used to watch your performances before i was this… known… and think, ‘wow, she must be busy,’ but now i get it.”

“”really?” danielle raises an eyebrow, looking genuinely intrigued.

“uh—yeah. not just you! i hope i don’t sound weird… you know i used to watch all those celebrity interviews, korean and western artists, and i thought about my future being like that. um, anyways, yeah—you and your members are super talented. i mean, obviously you’re killing it in every way possible” 

danielle’s smile grows upon seeing the visible blush and how evidently flustered you are.

you sig heavily, “i’m not beating the fangirl allegations… sorry.”

she looks at you with a softness in her eyes, giggling before sipping on her drink. you noticed her cheeks were definitely tinged pink now. 

“that’s… really sweet. and, um, mutual. i’ve been a fan of your acting for a while now, actually. so this is all still kinda unreal.” she admits.

you both fall into comfortable conversation, sharing stories about work and laughing about awkward encounters with fans and strange industry moments. you felt completely at ease, and danielle’s laughter was contagious, filling the air with something warm. the feeling lingered even as you two left the cafe together.

the walk back was leisurely, your voices blending as the city got louder.

“do you get nervous though?” danielle asks after a while, pulling her jacket tighter against the breeze of the evening. “with acting, i mean. especially with bigger roles. i hope it’s not awkward to ask but… you know, with romance films too.”

“i get that question a lot, it’s not weird at all dani.” you nod as danielle hides the growing smile after hearing her nickname slip from your lips. “i’m always nervous. but i think i’d worry more if i didn’t feel like that, you know? it kind of keeps me on my feet, makes it feel real.”

she nods in understanding. “that makes sense.”

“you get it.”

as you neared her dorm building, a sense of bittersweetness crept in. the evening had gone by too fast, and you weren’t quite ready for it to end. you stopped a few feet from the entrance, scanning the area to make sure no one was around.

“right, i guess we’re here,” you muttered under your breath, looking back at her with a nervous expression.

she gives you a forced smile, something bittersweet. “yeah.”

“i’ll let you go now, i had a lot of fun.”

“me too.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.” danielle breathes out, her smile much more shy than before now. you catch her biting the inside of her lip just barely 

her eyes sparkle a bit, the streetlight reflecting off her pupils. you gaze at her for a few seconds more before nodding. before you can start to walk away, she steps forward and wraps her arms around you in a warm, gentle hug. your breath catches, but you quickly relax and reciprocate. it seems natural, like you were meant to be this close.

“thank you for today,” she murmurs, voice barely audible.

“thank you for agreeing to hangout despite my… unorthodox impression.” you reply with a giggle, your voice just as soft. “i’m glad we did this.”

when she pulls back, you meet her gaze, faces just inches apart. she looks at your almost dazed expression, with your cheeks flushed and lips slightly parted. you quickly caught herself and laughed, trying to play it cool.

“alright, well, i guess i’ll see you soon?” you say, shifting a little on your feet.

“yes,” she says, feeling her heart pounding a bit. “i hope we can do this again.”

danielle is a touchy person, this is visible on camera and to everyone she loves. still, it surprises you when she leaps back onto you, hugging you once more before slipping inside the building. 

you waited until she was out of sight before turning away, unable to keep the grin off your face.

—

the next day, more specifically the next evening, you have an interview at six.

you, your costars soobin and jaehyun, are all caught in an interview. there’s a white backdrop behind you all, with makeup artists adding final touches and shifting your hair. soobin’s in a simple cardigan and jeans, while jaehyun is wearing a sweater that compliments what soobin is wearing. you, on the other hand, are clad in something that makes you stand out more: metal frames, a blazer, and slacks. 

the camera’s start to roll, then the director gives you the green light.

the interviewer smiled warmly, leaning forward as he kicked off with, “so, congratulations on the movie! it’s been getting amazing reviews, and your performance as a supporting lead has been a major highlight. how does it feel to finally see it out in the world?”

you smiled, shifting in your seat. “honestly, it’s surreal. we put so much work into this film, and seeing people connect with it—it’s the best feeling. i’m really grateful.”

“let’s talk about filming,” he continues, glancing between the three of you. “what were the hardest and most fun parts of being on set?”

soobin jumped in first, grinning. “hardest part? probably the weather during those outdoor scenes. we were freezing half the time.”

you nod in agreement. “oh, definitely. there was this one night shoot where we were all layered up between takes, but as soon as the cameras started rolling, we had to act like it was summer. my teeth were literally chattering.”

“and the most fun?” the interviewer asks, tilting his head.

“the cast,” you said immediately, glancing at soobin and jaehyun. “we had such a good time together, even during the long hours. there were so many inside jokes and random moments that just made everything easier. it really felt like a family. they’re idiots, but i love them to death.”

“jaehyun, what about you?” the interviewer asked.

he chuckles. “for me, it was watching these two try to improvise during that one diner scene. they were so into it, and the director was loving it, but the rest of us were just trying not to laugh.”

you groan playfully. “don’t remind me! that scene was so… chaotic.”

the interviewer laughs, clearly enjoying the dynamic between the three of you. “speaking of scenes, do you have a favorite?”

“hmm,” you say, thinking. “i really loved the quieter moments, like the scene where my character finally opens up to soobin’s. it was just... really emotional and rewarding to film. looking over it really surprised how well acted-out it was.”

“and you two had such great chemistry,” he adds, raising an eyebrow knowingly. “fans are already talking about it. do you think that dynamic came naturally?”

you and soobin exchanged a look, and he smirked. “well, you know, y/n and i are professionals.”

“oh, stop,” you push him lightly, rolling your eyes with a laugh. “soobin’s great to work with, though. he made it really easy.”

“is that why you’re so good at teasing her?” jaehyun chimed in, earning a laugh from the room.

the interviewer leaned forward, suddenly switching gears. “speaking of fans, y/n, people have been buzzing about your recent live stream. you mentioned being a fan of danielle from newjeans, right?”

you felt your cheeks warm, but you nod. “yeah, i’ve been a fan of their music since debut. they’re insanely talented.”

soobin, your wrost enemy, grins. “she left out the part where she called danielle one of the prettiest people she’s ever seen.”

“soobin!” you protest, laughing but clearly embarrassed. “he’s just jealous that i talk to her more than he talks to bebe rexha.” you retort, earning a pout from soobin.

“she’s not wrong,” jaehyun chimes with a teasing smile. “every time her name comes up, y/n turns into a total fangirl.”

“okay, that’s enough,” you said, trying to shut them down but laughing too hard to be serious. “look, danielle is really sweet. we’ve texted a bit, even met in person, and she’s just as nice as she seems.”

the interviewer didn’t miss a beat. “so, what’s it like talking to someone you’ve admired for so long?”

you hesitate for a moment, then smile. “it’s honestly been really cool. she’s interesting and kind and just... really easy to talk to. and yeah, she’s absolutely gorgeous, but that’s probably not news to anyone. she’s everything i ranted about in my infamous livestream…”

the room erupted in laughter, and soobin locked eyes with the camera. “did you hear that, danielle? she thinks you’re gorgeous.”

you buried your face in your hands, groaning. “why did i agree to this interview?”

the interviewer grinned, clearly loving every second. “well, it sounds like you’ve made a great new friend. and who knows? maybe we’ll see her at one of your premieres and not just the celine event someday.”

“maybe,” you said with a shy smile, trying to brush it off. but deep down, the thought made your heart race.

the cast laughs, and so do you. the interviewer continues on, teasing soobin about his bloopers and viral photos. you tease him even more, considering it karma for him doing the same to you. and when you think you can’t laugh anymore, they bring up jaehyun’s old films and roles, embarassing him just a bit as well.

—

the city lights blurred outside your taxi window as you leaned back, phone pressed to your ear. danielle’s soft laugh came through the line, making your stomach flip for reasons you didn’t want to admit.

danielle decided to call you after your interview. when you asked why, she simply responded with a ‘why? do i need a reason to want to talk to you?’ which only made your stomach twist more.

“so,” she began, voice playful, “you survived the interview, huh? did your costars expose your secrets?”

you groaned dramatically. “they did. they kept teasing me about… well, you.” 

“about me?” her tone was teasing, but you could hear the hint of curiousity hidden in it.

“they’re relentless dani,” you mutter, though the smile on your face was obvious in your voice. “next time, i’m dragging them into a live stream and making them go through public humiliation.”

she laughs again, light and airy. you lean against the window and smile harder. “you’re quite dramatic, y/n. maybe they jus like pointing out the obvious~”

“the obvious?” you ask, feigning innocence.

“you know, ho wmuch you like me,” she teased, her words carrying something playful.

“oh shut up,” you groan again, laughing despite yourself. “i’m never live streaming again. you’ve ruined me.”

“you’re the one who brought me up in the first place,” she counters, tone smug. “don’t blame me for how smitten you are.”

“smitten? right…” you shoot back. “someone’s confident.”

“only because you keep giving me reasons to,” she quipped, but there was a slight softness in her voice now, like the banter was more of a cover. 

you’re impossible,” you say, shaking your head, your your smile only widened. you bite your bottom lip, twirling your hair ever so slightly. “but you’re also probably exhausted. you should get some rest.”

“aren’t you exhausted from the interview? i only had practice—you’re telling me to rest?” she teases, though her tone had softened further.

“i’m serious,” you say, voice queter now. “sleep tight, danielle.”

there was a pause on the other end, not awkward but lingering. “you two,” she said eventually, her voice just as soft.

you both stayed on the line a moment longer, neither of you wanting to hang up. finall, you broke the silence. 

“goodnight.”

“goodnight,” she echoed before the call ended, “stay safe.”

leaning your head back, you sigh, letting the giddiness settle in your chest. as the taxi pulled closer to your place, you decided to send her a picture—your post interview outfit, slightly rumpled, hair a bit messy, and a tired peace sign held up for the camera.

a moment later, her response popped up:

danielle:  cute

your heart skipped, and then another text followed.

danielle:  goodnight :-)

you stared at your screen for a long moment, grinning like an idiot, before typing back a quick ‘night.’ you tucked your phone away, feeling like you could float the rest of the way home.

—

“morning?” you respond tiredly, leaning against your counter. “something up?”

he huffs, great. 

“morning? try good afternoon,” your manager’s voice came through, laced with exasperation. “we have a situation.”

you already dreaded whatever was coming next. “are you serious?”

“i don’t know how you do it.”

“what?”

“how have you managed to go viral again? you and soobin this time: dating rumors.” he says. 

“what?” you respond in disbelief, “me and— me and that bitc— me and soobin? there’s absolutely no way.”

“there are pictures from the interview yesterday going viral,” your manager explained. “people are assuming that you and soobin might have something going on.”

mark hears you make a disgusted noise through the phone. “why the hell would they think that?”

“apparently, you two were standing close, there’s one of you leaning on him, and another where you’re laughing while nudging him. they’re harmless, bit fans are running with it. despite your whole danielle thing, fans are running with this. boy and girl, girl and boy—you know the gist, things run around faster and easier.

you groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. “that’s so gross—he’s soobin. he’s like… a brother to me. and i’m a lesbian.”

“i know that, trust me. but the internet doesn’t,” mark says dryly. “just be careful. maybe you two can talk to each other, clear the air?”

“okay, okay. i’ll talk to you later.” you muttered before hanging up.

you check out social media for a bit, looking at the pictures going around and furrow your brows at how platonic they look. a girl can’t lean on her guy friend anymore? okay… right.

immediately, you pull up your contacts, scrolling to soobin’s name.

y/n: we have heterosexual allegations

not even a minute later, your phone buzzed with an incoming call. you answered, alreadying rolling your eyes. “soob.”

“we have straight allegations?” he questions, voice filed with disbelief, even despair. “god, no. absolutely not… not you, especially.”

“thanks,” you deadpanned.

“you’re welcome,” he quips, “but seriously, what do we do? should we post something?”

“definitely. let’s make this clear before is spirals. people are already clipping us from other interviews and our scenes.” you say, standing up right. “i’ll post something on my instagram: the pictures we took yesterday. i’ll caption it something normal and you can just reply normally. simple fix, right?”

“perfect,” soobin agrees. “you post it, and i’ll repost. we’ll just step on the fire.”

within minutes, you were typing out the caption, attaching a candid picture from the event of you two laughing together. once the post was live, you refreshed your feed, watching as likes and comments poured in. soobin reposted it immediately with a laughing emoji, and soon enough, the narrative started shifting.

you couldn’t help but smile in relief as you saw comments like: “okay, but their friendship is so cute,” and “best friends of the industry!”

you texted soobin one last time: crisis = over. lunch sometime this week?

his reply was instant: only if you’re paying.

—

danielle scrolled through her phone, her face buried in the pillow as she lay on her stomach. the soft glow of the screen illuminated the quiet room, the only sounds being her occasional sighs and the muffled hum of her members beyond her closed door. 

twitter was like a battlefield, one she didn’t fully understand. the pictures of you and soobin, paired with captions like “new favorite couple?” and “look at their chemistry!” made her chest feel heavy in a way she couldn’t explain.

you’re just friends, she thought to herself. why do i even care?

yet, despite trying to brush it off, her fingers kept scrolling. she stared at the photos for longer than she wanted to admit, her stomach twisting uncomfortably. why did it feel like this? you weren’t hers, you’re your own person.

you two have only gone out together once, spent time with each other maybe twice, and haven’t really indulged in anything deeper. if anything it felt right that you and soobin were a thing, considering the chemistry she noticed in interviews and whatnot. still, she frowned, thinking there was something different between the two of you. especially the way you noticed and looked at her like no one had before.

a knock on the door broke her from her spiraling thoughts. before she could answer, haerin poked her head in.

“danielle? are you okay? you haven’t come out all morning.”

danielle quickly locked her phone, shoving it under her pillow. “i’m fine,” she lied, her voice muffled against the pillow.

haerin frowned, stepping inside and sitting at the edge of the bed. “you don’t seem fine.” she gently tugged at danielle’s arm. “what’s going on?”

danielle groaned but didn’t resist when haerin pulled the pillow away. “it’s stupid,” she muttered.

“stupid or not, you’re clearly upset. tell me,” haerin pressed, her tone soft but firm.

danielle hesitated before finally mumbling, “i saw the rumors about y/n and soobin.”

haerin raised an eyebrow, confused. “okay? why does that bother you?”

“i don’t know!” danielle sat up abruptly, running a hand through her hair. “it shouldn’t. but seeing those pictures… it just… it made me feel weird. i don’t like it, ugh!”

haerin tilted her head, studying danielle carefully. “weird how?”

danielle hugged her knees to her chest, avoiding haerin’s gaze. “like... sad. but that doesn’t make sense, right? i mean, she can date whoever she wants.”

realization dawned on haerin’s face, and she leaned closer. “danielle... do you like y/n?”

danielle froze, her cheeks flushing. “what? no! i mean…” she trailed off, her heart racing. did she?

haerin waited patiently, her expression calm.

“i don’t know,” danielle admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “i’ve never felt like this before. and if i do… isn’t it weird? liking a girl? i’ve never done that before, i’ve never really liked anyone period… but if i did i figured it’d be a guy. i mean i kind of always noticed the female celebrities more and— oh my god, am i gay? i like girls… i think i’ve always liked girls. why am i realizing so late—”

haerin’s eyes softened. she reached out, placing a reassuring hand on danielle’s shoulder. “it’s not weird, danielle. it’s normal. liking someone—boy or girl—doesn’t make you any different. it just makes you human. it’s fine, it’s no big deal. like who you like.”

danielle looked at haerin, her eyes wide and uncertain. “but what if it’s not okay? what if i ruin things by feeling this way?”

haerin shook her head. “you’re not ruining anything. feelings can be scary, especially when they’re new. but you don’t have to figure everything out right now. take your time, okay? and no matter what, i’m here for you. i’ve been there, i think there are two others in the dorm that have been too.”

danielle nodded slowly, the weight in her chest lifting slightly. “thanks, haerin. i think… i just need some time to think.”

“of course, i understand,” haerin said with a small smile. “but for now, let’s get you out of bed. you’re not going to figure anything out by hiding under the covers. maybe you’ll think clearly after a bit of breakfast–brunch.”

danielle chuckled softly, letting haerin pull her to her feet. though her heart still felt heavy, haerin’s words gave her a small sense of comfort. maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.

 —

“no way am i spending that much on something i’ll only wear once,” he said, putting a jacket back on the rack.

you two were in some pop-up store downtown, meandering through racks of high-end clothing. the smell of fresh leather and faint hints of something floral lingered in the air. music hummed in the air, some type of house playlist. 

“you could always expensive it as a ‘costume piece’ for another project.” you laugh, fingers brushing idly against the fabric of a blazer nearby.

“if only it worked like that,” he snorted, glancing at you. “speaking of work, when’s the next press event? aren’t we supposed to fly out soon? there’s too much on my plate… but it’s worse for jaehyun.”

“next week,” you replied absentmindedly, your attention more on your phone than the clothes. the screen buzzed in your hand, and you glanced down immediately, eyes scanning the notification. it wasn’t from danielle. you frowned slightly and slipped the phone back into your pocket.

“that’s the third time you’ve done that in five minutes,” soobin noted, a small grin on his lips. “let me guess—waiting for a certain someone to text? a certain singer~?”

your ears burned. “what? no. i’m just—i don’t know, checking stuff. my um,” you cough, “my mom…”

“checking stuff…” he repeated, his smirk growing. “you are not slick. it’s danielle, isn’t it? waiting for her?”

he laughs when you roll your eyes at him, then raises a brow when you don’t deny it.

“you’re so obvious.” he teases, nuding your shoulder. “it’s cute though. fangirl crush to… whatever this is—’text flirtation’?”

“oh my god, you don’t shut up do you?” you say, though the corner of your mouth twitches into a smile. before you could retort further, your phone buzzed again—when you check it this time, danielle’s name lit up on the screen. without hesitation, you step away and hold up a hand to soobin.

“hold that thought,” you say, walking a few feet away for some privacy.

“hey,” you greet, trying to keep your voice casual, though you couldn’t stop the slight hint of excitement.

“hi,” her voice is soft through the phone, and you could hear the faint sound of city traffic in the background. “are you busy?”

“no, not at all,” you assure her. “i’m shopping with soobin. what’s up?”

there was a brief pause on her end before she says, “i was wondering if you’d want to go on a walk tonight? it’s been a long day, and i though it’d be nice to… you know, just talk. ah! i hope you don’t mind… i just… missed you. i know we’ve hangout only a few times, but i really like your energy! oh god, i’m rambling aren’t i—”

“i’d love that.” you smile into the phone, balancing your weight on one foot then the other. “that’s perfect, yeah of course. don’t worry about rambling… don’t ever.”

“okay,” her tone lighter now. “well, i have a shoot. i’ll text you more details, okay?”

“perfect. i’ll see you.” you say, feeling a little giddy as you hang up. 

when you walked back over to soobin, he was leaning against a rack of coats, eyebrows raised knowingly. 

“someone looks happy,” he teases, “let me guess—date?”

“not a date,” you correct him, though the hear rising to your cheeks betrayed you. “just a walk, you know.”

“that’s gay.” he mutters, earning a shove. he smirks at you, then adds, “well whatever helps you sleep at night—even if that’s a ‘walk.’”

you shoved his shoulder again, but the smile lingered on your face. even as you tried to focus on the clothes in front of you, your thoughts were already elsewhere counting down the hours until tonight.

—

the riverside was serene, the water reflecting the city lights in the rippled patterns. the air was crisp but not biting, just how you like it. you spot danielle standing by the railing, her arms wrapped around herself as she gazed out over the water. her hair caught the light, framing her face in soft waves—her natural hair always left you in awe—and for a moment, you just stood there taking in the sight.

“hey,” you call, breaking her reverie.

she turned, her face lighting up with a warm smile. “you made it! hi.”

“of course. why would i miss it?” you say, stepping closer until you were side by side.

the two of you started walking, the rhythm of your steps syncing naturally. conversation came easily, as it always did with her. danielle talked about her schedule, how she’d been trying to find a balance between work and rest. you shared bits about your own projects, the highs and lows of the past week and even something you might audition for.

“it’s a lot sometimes,” she admits, glancing at you. “but i guess it’s just part of it, you know? the good things outweigh whatever is bad.”

you nod. “for sure. but it’s okay to feel overwhelmed too. you’re doing amazing, though. seriously.”

she looks down, a shy smile tugging at her lips. “thanks. that means a lot.”

as the conversation flowed further, the distance between the two of you shrank until your shoulders brushed with each step. the contact was subtle, but it was the only thing you could think about. you were hyper-aware of the space—or lack thereof—between you. danielle didn’t pull away, and neither did you.

a light breeze swept by, and you noticed her ears twitch. without thinking, you pulled your beanie off and held it out to her. 

“here,” you say, “it’s not much, but i think it’ll help.”

“oh, no, it’s okay,” she starts, but you were already placing it gently over her head, adjusting it so it fit snugly.

“looks good on you,” you admit, stepping back to admire her. “actually, you look better in it than i do. i might have to let you keep it.” 

she laughs softly, her cheeks pink from more than just the cold. “you’re just saying that.”

“i’m not,” you reply, voice light but sincere. “trust me.”

she looks at you for a moment, her eyes warm and searching before breaking into a smile. “thanks.”

you resumed walking, the easy conversation picking up again, but the air between you felt different now—warmer, closer. 

as the night wore on, the city seemed to fade away, which left the two of you. your steps were in rhythm and your hearts quietly beat at the same time, to another rhythm that neither of you wanted to name.

the sound of leaves rustling fills the spaces between your conversation as you and danielle continued to walk along the riverside. the path was lit by lampposts, casting a soft light that made everything seem dreamlike. danielle, however, seemed distracted, her steps just a fraction slower than before.

“soooo,” she begins, voice tentative. “i saw something earlier.” 

you turned your head to look at her, curious. “yeah? what was it?”

“pictures of you and soobin had been going around on twitter,” she says, glancing sideways at you. “people were… assuming things.”

it took you a second to realize what she meant, but when you did, you let out a short laugh. “oh, that. again?”

she nods. her expression remained the same as normal, but her hands fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater. “yeah. you two seem close.”

“we’re realy close.” you say easily, not noticing the slight edge of hesitation in her tone. “but not like that. soobin’s like… my brother? maybe a favorite cousin. it’s very platonic.”

her eyes darted up to meet yours, flickering with something unreadable. “oh,” she says softly, her voice a little brighter. “i guess that makes sense.”

you tilt your head, catching the faint shift in her demeanor. “besides,” you added, a small smirk tugging at your lips, “i’m one hundred percent gay. women only.”

danielle’s steps faltered for a brief moment again, and you noticed the way her cheeks flushed under the streetlights. she recovered quickly though, and let out a small laugh. “oh. that’s good to know.”

“yeah,” you nod and shove your hands into your pockets. “soobin’s great, but absolutely not my type. not even close.” 

danielle chuckles, her gaze fixed ahead now. “when did you figure that out? you know, about being gay?”

you thought for a moment, the question catching you a little off guard but not unwelcome. “probably when i was in high school,” you admitted. “i mean, i always kind of knew, but it really hit me when i found myself completely zoning out over this one girl in my art class. she was kind of like you, pretty and nice and sweet and—” you stopped yourself, “yeah…”

danielle smiels, her curiosity evident now. “was it hard? like, coming to terms with it?”

“it had its moments,” you say honestly. “i was scared at first, like, what people would think or how my family would react. but once i told myself it was okay to just... be myself, it got easier. and i’ve been lucky—my friends and family have been super supportive. it’s normal anyway… being infatuated, finding girls attractive, and,” you look at her a little closer now, “having crushes on girls.”

danielle nods, her gaze lingering on you a beat too long before she looks away. there was something… softer in her expression now, a quiet kind of admiration mixed with something else. you noticed the shift but didn’t comment, not wanting to break the moment.

“that’s nice,” she says finally, her voice quieter than before. “i think it’s brave.”

you shrugged, trying to play it off, but the sincerity in her tone made your chest tighten. “just being honest, i guess.”

the conversation pauses, but the air between you felt warmer now, more intimate. danielle’s eyes flicker to you again, her expression thoughtful, and you couldn’t help but feel like you were walking closer—not just in steps, but in something unspoken between you two.

“why do you ask, anyway?” you question.

“ah, well—” she completely short circuits, trying to find the right words. “there’s, well, i think i um, i like someone. i don’t know, well, i do.”

you raise a brow, looking at her confusingly.

and then it hits.

she’s avoiding your gaze, fidgeting with her fingers, and the blush on her cheeks is apparent. it’s all apparent: she’s asking you about liking girls, calling you when she can, texting you, complimenting you—it all makes sense now, everything leading up to it. and you’ve been dropping hints too, but you never noticed hers.

“and what’s this girl like? is she nice?”

“ah– well, it’s— i don’t know. she’s really sweet, but anyway,” she tries to shift the conversation, but you butt in.

“i’ve been kind of into this girl actually.” you admit, kicking a rock on the ground nervously. 

“really?”

you hum.

“what is she like?” danielle asks, glancing at you shyly now.

“well,” you start, sucking in the courage to continue on. “she’s really pretty, and i managed to get closer with her in just two months. i always had a little friend crush on her, but even so i always thought she was gorgeous.”

“is that so?” danielle’s cheeks flush a bit as the realization starts to hit. “what else?”

“well, the more we got to know each other the more i found myself thinking of her late at night. she’s easy to talk to and i really like that about her. i’m pretty into her, and i think a lot of people know it despite how much i try to deny it.” you shrug, looking at the ground. “um, w-what is your girl like? the girl you like.”

there’s a smile on her face, one that would be impossible to wipe off.

“she’s… she’s really cute.” danielle says bashfully. “she’s kind, funny, caring, and i kind of grew to like everything about her. i can’t stop thinking about her and talking about her to my members, and when she posts or something about her goes viral i can’t help but go a little crazy. she accidentally revealed her crush on me to a lot of people and i couldn’t believe it, even now i’m unsure…”

“well i think she likes you a lot.”

“do you?”

“mhm.” you stop in your tracks, watching danielle take a few steps before stopping. you two stare at each other for a bit, struggling to maintain eye contact. “i think she’s been trying to ignore the fact that she’s in love with you, but can’t because you’re impossibly easy to fall in love with.”

danielle blushes, stepping closer and pushing your shoulder as she tries to compose herself.

“okay,” she mutters quietly, looking down at the ground. “do you think she could close her eyes?”

“maybe.” you nervously say as you close your eyes, huffing shakily. 

danielle stares at you, features a little tense—really all of you is tense—before leaning up a bit and pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek. 

she pulls away, blushing furiously. 

you open your eyes, blinking twice to make sure none of it is a dream. danielle stands in front of you, biting down on her teeth to try to keep herself from going insane. she looks away, scared and flustered all at the same time.

“do you think she… do you think she liked that?”

you nod, “yeah, but she thinks you missed.”

“what—”

you cut her off, tilting her chin up and pressing a quick peck to her lips. 

danielle gasps, then looks at you with widened eyes. seconds later she leans forward, meeting you in a longer kiss. 

she melts a bit, your bottom lip trapped between hers as she slides her hand over to your neck. and when she pulls away, she hides her face near your ear. 

“did she, did she think that was okay? i’ve never um, kissed a girl before—i haven’t kissed anyone before.”

“i think she wants to kiss you again.”

danielle laughs, pulling away and cupping one of your cheeks with her hand. it’s small and soft and warm all at the same time against your burning skin. you smile as she brushes her thumb over, nodding.

“i think i want to kiss her again too.”

[luvacookie]

mr steal ur girl.

eren notices an unfamiliar face at one of his frat parties…

❥ warnings : reiner bein a dick, unprotected sex (wrap before u tap), nicknames, squirting, porn w a plot, intended use of lower case, mildly proof read, shy-ish reader, black fem coded.

❥ cookie for ur thoughts ? : my first post, my first aot idea >~< ! idk how people will respond to this. i need to write a lil sum sum for con, i will work on it…

“pleaseee ! you never come out with me! plus you get to be around reiner.”

pieck stared at you through the floor length mirror, adjusting her black skin tight dress as you ignored her and continued to scroll through your phone. as per usual, she was going to one of her parties hosted by her friends and as per usual she was asking you to join her.

normally you declined, opting to stay wrapped up in bed, catching up on one of your hour long k-dramas episodes or looking over work you did in a lecture.

parties were not your scene and they never had been.

“pieck… i don’t know…” you responded sceptically, curling the end of your braid around your finger.

“i can set you up with reiner, he talks about you all the time you know,” pieck said walking over to your bed.

you sighed, you knew she was just using your delusional crush on reiner to lure you in and unfortunately it was working.

you pushed your glasses up, exhaling defeatedly. pieck smiled and clapped her hands together, jumping up from the bed.

“we have to make sure you look cute as fuck so shower, skincare, makeup, whatever you need to do and by time you get out i’ll have a cute fit for you!” she said happily, digging through your clothes.

you hauled yourself out of bed, grabbing your towel and headed to the shower. you cleaned up nicely, freshening yourself up for the party. you put your braids into a half-up half-down with a side parting, laying your edges with a decorative heart.

pieck had picked out a two piece pink set for you with white string heels, you matched your accessories accordingly with pink hair clips and white glasses.

she smiled at you in awe. “you look so fuckin’ good right now! you seriously need to get out more.”

you looked down shyly, “are you sure pie’? this is so out of my zone.”

“oh my god, of course i’m sure, now come on. reiner won’t wait all night,” she giggled.

she grabbed you by the hand and dragged you to her convertible, making sure to let the top down so the warm night air hit your faces. the ride there was filled with vibes and giggles, your nerves slowly disappearing.

soon enough you arrived at the frat house, the musics blaring through all the open doors and windows. people were dancing on the lawn, cars pulled up in every direction. pieck dragged you through the crowd, stopping for a couple seconds at a time to say hi to her mutuals.

soon enough you found your way into the kitchen with her where the rest of your friend group was.

“hey guys!” pieck called out over the music and they all greeted her back.

“no fuckin’ way you brought y/n,” connie said, licking his paper and putting the blunt behind his ear.

you waved at him, smiling lightly.

“well damn, who woulda thought,” annie said from beside him, holding a red solo cup.

“she finally managed to convince me soooo…” you trailed off leaning against the counter.

“you look hot though,” sasha commented, a lazy smile on her face as if she was already high.

“mmm, cheers to that,” reiner said from behind you.

you turned around, looking him up and down. he had a simple white tee on that hugged his arms perfectly, a pair of black cargo’s with a silver chain. he handed you a cup and knocked it with yours, tipping the contents of it back.

you stared at him briefly, watching his throat move as he swallowed. you followed shortly after, pulling a face as the liquor burned your throat.

everyone spoke amongst themselves, pieck catching up on all the lost drinks, leaving you and reiner to have a sweet conversation.

“why don’t i see you out enough?” he asked, looking down at you.

you turned your head to the side, the eye contact making your stomach flip, “not really my thing.”

“they should be,” he followed up quickly, “you’re too pretty to be kept hostage in your dorm.”

you looked at him, smiling. “thanks.”

“no problem sweetheart,” he poured himself another drink, refilling yours too.

“you drink a lot?” he asked, sipping on his mix.

“not really, only when i come to these things, which is basically never,” you chuckled lightly, tasting your drink.

“i’m gonna have to force pieck to bring you out more, you’re too fuckin’ pretty darling.”

“rei, stop you’re making me feel shy,” you sighed, looking at him with obvious heart eyes.

he made a noise in his throat, a cocky smirk on his face. “dance with me?”

you stared, your brain slowly registering before you nodded. you turned to pieck, gesturing that you were going with reiner and she gave you a massive thumbs up in encouragement.

reiner took your hand in his and lead you to where the music was the loudest, putting your hands around his neck as his met your waist. he stayed with you like that for the majority of the song, his eyes holding yours.

your acrylics danced at the nape of his neck, as the grip on your waist slowly became tighter. he pulled you close enough for your chests to be touching, forcing you to look up at his height.

“are you even listening ? hellooo?”

“yeah..yeah, who’s that?” eren asked, ignoring whatever armin was saying.

armin looked around, “who?”

“her,” eren said, nodding in your direction.

“oh, y/n l/n. she’s in my english major,” armin said dismissively.

eren nodded, watching how you were slowly grinding on reiner, or realistically how your tits were moving in your dress. he had never seen you before, so how did you know reiner of all people?

as the song ended you pulled reiner down to your height, muttering something to him in which he nodded. you left the room, leaving reiner to join one of his other group of friends, though he didn’t see where you left to as porco joined him and armin.

you returned to the kitchen where connie was left on his own, tapping the ash off his blunt into the sink.

“you and reiner?” he asked, his words slightly slowed.

you poured a shot, smiling to yourself. “maybe. i don’t know.”

you tipped it back as he continued talking to you. “he likes you, you know that right?”

you reapplied your lipgloss, “does he?”

“for real, he talks about you all the time,” he inhaled slowly.

“that’s cute. i like him too,” you smiled at connie.

he exhaled and turned the roll to you, “you smoke?”

“no… i’ve only hit once before,” you admitted, staring at it.

“you don’t wanna hit that shit, probably laced,” came a deep voice from behind you.

you turned to see eren leaning on the door frame, staring at you. he was wearing simple grey sweats and a white tee, his hair pulled back into a messy bun.

“fuck off yaeger,” connie muttered, rolling his eyes, smoke exhaling his mouth with a string of cusses following.

he ignored connie, focusing his attention on you. “you’ve never been to one of these before have you?”

“do i stand out that bad?” you shook your head, the sound of your acrylic tapping the glass following.

eren walked round the counter, pouring himself straight whiskey. “oh you stand out… would’ve remembered your face.”

you tip your head to the side and glance back at connie who stares at you blankly. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“means your cute, your boyfriend is lucky,” he comments swiftly.

“my boyfriend ?” you question, toying with the curly end of your braid.

“reiner. i would think so anyways after the way you were dancing with him,” he responds, a glint in his eye as if he was digging for information.

you look up and make eye contact with him. “he’s not my boyfriend—”

“not yet anyways,” connie interrupts.

you felt your face flush, unsure if you had turned a shade of red or not. you shook your head and had another shaky shot, the alcohol seeping it’s way into your bloodstream.

“what’s your name ?” eren asks, sipping vodka straight from the bottle that was left on the counter.

“y/n,” you responded. “don’t worry, i know who you are eren.”

he tipped his head to the side slightly, he liked the way you said his name.

he hummed, continuing his drink when his friend armin entered the room.

“are reiner and annie fucking or something ?” he asks, a twinge of annoyance in his tone.

you turned to look at armin, your heart slightly dropping. “what do you mean ?”

armin looks at you as if he hadn’t registered you were in the room, “n-nothing. just the way they were talkin’ and dancing and shit..”

you were sure you felt your heart drop this time. annie and reiner ? they had never gave an indication that they liked each other.

you looked off to the side, your throat slowly going dry.

connie noticed and sighed. “they like siblings, don’t stress it.”

you nodded, “y-yeah of course, i just need some air or something.”

you used that as your cue to leave, eren’s eyes following your figure as you walked past him towards the back garden.

you were slightly embarrassed, choking up in front of three boys, two of them you barley knew. you sat on a chair in the corner, taking a shallow breath and texting pieck.

y/n : i think i’m ready to cut pie

pie 🙇🏾‍♀️💓 : y ? e oksy?

you looked at her message and knew she was drunk, yet she still tried her best to check in on you.

y/n : yh dw abt me imma jus take an uber or smthin

pie 🙇🏾‍♀️💓 : olay

pie 🙇🏾‍♀️💓 : grt home sfe iky <3333

you sighed and turned your phone off, looking at the people in the garden. you heard giggling and saw reiner and annie trip over one another, clearly having a good time with themselves.

you turned your phone on and scrolled through your missed texts when you felt a person stood behind you. you looked up and saw eren’s green eyes looking at annie and reiner.

“what a prick,” eren sighed, looking down to meet your eyes.

“it’s cool. annie’s better than me by like tenfold so i’m not really shocked,” you responded, dropping your phone in your lap.

“don’t be fuckin’ dumb, reiner’s a blind asshole. he always has been,” he comforted you. “here.”

he handed you his lit joint and you took a hesitant hit, careful not to get lipgloss all over the paper.

eren watched you as you exhaled into the air, swallowing nothing. “you good?”

you nodded, “ ‘m good.”

you guys stayed like that for a while, exchanging useless comments and smoking. eren was glad that your mood had been lifted. at some point you had ended up back in the kitchen with your group of friends, high and definitely drunk.

pieck had everyone do body shots off of her stomach and made you dance round the counter like an idiot, something you were too drunk to question.

“where’d you go?” reiner’s voice said from behind you, his arms wrapping around your shoulders.

you tensed uncomfortably, though reiner was far too gone to notice. you wriggled out of his grasp, turning around to look at him. “s-sorry, i ended up getting distracted by eren and connie.”

eren nodded at whatever words mikasa was saying, his eyes focusing on the way reiner was forcing a conversation after abandoning you to fuck around with annie.

“yaeger? what were you doing with that bastard ?” reiner said, ignoring the way you rubbed your arm rather nervously.

“n-nothing, we was jus’ talking and shi—”

“fuck that, don’t hang around with that kid,” reiner cut you off, staring at you rather annoyed.

“reiner, i’m sorry he just—”

“why shouldn’t she hang around with me ? i’d say i’m a pretty fun time,” eren said lazily, sitting on the counter beside you.

reiner glared at him, “don’t start your bullshit with me yaeger.”

“i’d say you’re starting problems with me braun, tellin’ pretty girls they should steer clear,” he responded.

eren looked unbothered whereas reiner had become rather agitated.

he ignored reiner, turning to you, “wanna go some where else ?”

you looked at reiner then at eren before nodding, following his lead and taking his hand as he lead you somewhere else.

“fuckin’ hell. rei just got his bitch stolen by yaeger,” porco muttered, reiner still heard it.

“you good princess?” eren mumbled, the sound of his door clicking shut.

“mhm, thank you,” you responded from his desk, untying your heels as he pushed himself up on his bed.

“for what?” he asked pointedly, his eyes locking with yours.

“the reiner thing—”

“anybody with working brain cells could see that you were uncomfortable, i was just helping out,” he dismissed, his hands resting behind his head.

you nodded, holding eye contact with him. the room went silent, the only sound being the tapping of your acrylics against the wood of his desk.

eren sighed, patting the cover of his bedsheets. “c’mere, you too far away.”

you let out a little laugh, hopping off his desk and standing in front of him. he grabbed you by your hands and pulled you on top of him, settling yourself on his hips. he was less than bother by the sudden added weight of your own body, his hands meeting the side of your thighs.

“you really are mad pretty,” he mumbled, squeezing the fat of your thighs that was closer to your ass.

you exhaled, turning your head to try and hide your smile. he grabbed your face and turned it back to him, his eyes hooded with lust.

you stared at him and your eyes dropped to his lips and unfortunately for you, he didn’t miss it. you took a deep breath and leaned forward, encasing eren’s lips in yours.

his hands instantly moved to your ass, squeezing roughly. he kissed you back hard, pushing his hips upwards.

your hands travelled to the back of his hair, your acrylics burying themselves in the nape of his neck. he sat up properly so he could flip you over, a shear display of his strength.

he bit at the bottom of your lip, taking advantage of the whine you let out to slip his tongue into your mouth. his hands wondered down the front of your top, though he pulled away, inspecting your face.

“why’d you stop ?” you mumbled, your eyes darting towards his swollen lips.

“nothin’, just checking to see if you’re actually sober. you alright with this though ?” he asked and you nodded eagerly, tugging at his hoodie.

he laughed. “you’re a desperate thing aren’t you.”

“eren, please,” you mumbled, pulling him forwards with more force.

“fuck. whatever you want princess,” he groaned, grabbing you by the neck and pulling you into a deeper kiss than before.

you moaned quietly as he untied the front of your shirt, revealing your lacy white bra.

“please tell me you weren’t wearing this for reiner,” he begged, rubbing on your tits.

you shook your head. “thank fuck for that.”

he pulled your skirt off, revealing your matching set, throwing the skirt somewhere in his room.

“fuck sake, y/n,” he muttered, eyes trailing the whole of your body.

you tugged at his zipper, “off, i want it off.”

he unzipped his hoodie with a chuckle, removing his shirt too, revealing his muscles. “makin’ demands now ?”

you rolled your eyes and pulled him back in for another heated kiss, your hands trailing down his body and palming his dick through his grey bottoms. he groaned, kissing you harder as you continued to stroke his growing hard-on through the material.

he pulled away and began kissing down your neck, leaving deep hickies as he went down, kissing all the way down your stomach till he got to the top of your lace thong.

he made eye contact with you as he placed a light kiss on your cover clit, watching as your mouth slightly dropped open. he pulled your panties down, stuffing them in his pocket whilst he rubbed on your clit with slow circles.

“you’re so fuckin’ wet for me right now angel. did you know that?” he asked, continuing with his agonisingly slow circles.

“mm fuck, eren, please—” you whined, your hands gripping his sheets.

“please what princess?” he teased, watching your body squirm under his touch.

you whined even louder. “fuck, i want more—” you cut yourself off with a shallow moan as he dipped his middle finger inside of you briefly before pulling it out.

“more what?” he teased.

you looked at him with round glossy eyes, “please eat me out.”

“that’s all you had to say princess,” he laughed, finally giving you what you wanted.

his tongue made contact with your clit and he licked eagerly, making his middle and ring finger stretch you out nicely.

“gotta make sure this pretty pussy is ready for my dick hm,” he mumbled on your clit, sucking on it roughly.

you babbled incoherent sentences, scratching as far as your hands could reach down his shoulders. your moans gradually increased in volume as his slender fingers worked your insides deliciously, finding that soft spot your own couldn’t reach with ease.

“f-fuck eren— feels so fuckin’ good,” you moaned gripping on his sheets harder.

just as you could feel your orgasm approaching, you could feel your phone vibrate beside you.

pieck was calling you, your thighs began to close but eren forced them back open. “answer it.”

“b-but—”

“i said answer it and be quiet.”

you looked at him before doing as he said, his fingers working harder than before.

“y/nnnn! where did you gooooo?” pieck shouted down the phone.

“i-i went with— mm-fuck, eren—” you struggled, pulling at eren’s hand.

“to do whatttt? you guys are missing the party” she yelled, giggling shortly after.

you struggled to hold back a moan as eren sucked more feverishly on your clit, “ ‘m s-sorry pie’, w-we’ll be — fuckfuck— we’ll be b-back soon.”

pieck stayed silent on the other side for a moment. “ohmygodyouanderenarefucking?!”

eren laughed, the vibrations on your clit causing you to let a loud whine slip past your mouth, one pieck definitely heard.

“OHMYGOD YOU ARE! GUYSGUYS EREN AND Y/N ARE—”

you hung up on her and threw your phone on the floor some where, focusing back on eren. “that is y-your fault.”

he pulled up and looked at you, the lower half of his face covered in your slick. “i told you to be quiet princess.”

you rolled your eyes as he continued finger fucking you, his tongue slipping to your hole every now and again.

a strange feeling built up in your stomach, making you push him away by his shoulders. “mm— eren wait, f-feels like ‘m gonna—”

his dick twitched at the thought of you squirting from him eating your pussy, so he pushed your hands away. “stop, let me finish.”

“no— eren—”

he grabbed your arms with his free hand and held them to your side, licking at your clit more needly as he could feel your cunt clenching around his fingers. “i got you princess.”

you moaned loudly and the clear liquid drenched your thighs and his sheets, eren’s fingers still working you through your orgasm.

“f-fuck, eren— please—” you moaned desperately, tears sliding down the side of your face as you tried to squeeze your thighs shut.

“give me one more, i know you can y/n,” he mumbled, pulling your thighs open as his fingers working faster, grazing your soft spot every time.

you shook your head, feeling your second orgasm approaching harder than the first one.

“fuckfuckfuck, eren please—” you came around his fingers a second time, moaning loudly.

“there you fucking go,” eren smirked, feeling your cunt squeeze him. he slipped his fingers out and kissed your clit gently before coming back up to kiss you.

“you okay princess?” he asked quietly, looking you in your eyes.

you nodded lazily, fucked out from the two orgasms he gave you. “ ‘m good.”

“good cause i’m not done with you yet,” he exhaled, kissing you again.

he pulled his bottoms down, revealing his white calvin klein boxers that hugged his straining dick.

“this is your fault,” he said mimicking the words you said to him earlier.

you ignored him and palmed at his dick, feeling it twitch under the contact. you pulled his boxers down and let it free, continuing to rub it bare.

“fuckk—” he groaned, “shit, let me get a condom—”

“i’m clean,” you interjected, “and on birth control.”

eren looked slightly taken back. “are you sure ?”

you nodded desperately, “i need you please—”

“well shit. i’m clean too don’t worry,” he reassured you.

you nodded and continued rubbing his dick.

he moaned lowly before grabbing your face, “open.”

you opened your mouth and he stuck his fingers down your throat, the same ones that had been inside you.

he pulled them out and rubbed them on his dick, mixing your spit and his pre-cum.

next time i’ll have to get head, he thinks to himself before lining his dick up with your cunt. you moan loudly as the tip slowly pushed past your pillowy walls, hugging eren tightly.

“shit—” eren cussed as he felt your nails dig into his bicep, “you’re never fuckin’ getting rid of me princess.”

he bottomed out, making you whimper. he stilled, allowing you to adjust to his length. he watched your face for any signs of discomfort before slowly moving in and out of your cunt.

“fuck eren— you feel- so good—” you babbled incoherently, clawing deep marks down his back.

he nodded, lifting your leg to put it over his shoulder to get a better angle. he increased his speed, rubbing at your clit, making you squeeze his cock.

his hips stuttered. “stop doing that, gonna make me cum.”

“i want you to cum in me though,” you said, looking at him through your lashes.

eren scoffed and went deeper, thanks to the angle his tip kept assaulting your sweet spot.

you whimpered, “fuck eren— gonna cum—”

“no you’re not. hold it,” he grunted, gripping your hips and pulling you down to meet his base.

“eren,” you whined.

his pacing slowed down, his thrusts becoming sloppier as he neared his high.

“fuck— princess, i’m gonna cum—” he muttered into your ankle, nibbling slightly.

you squeezed around him at the sensations. he let out a deep moan, his cum painting the insides of your pussy white.

you came as you felt him empty inside of you, digging a crescent shape into his back.

“f-fuck,” you mumbled, watching him pull his dick out.

you whined at the empty feeling, though eren chose to ignore it. “imma be back.”

he picked his boxers up from the floor and pulled them on, walking to his bathroom. he walked out with a warm cloth, gently wiping the insides of your thigh.

“is your back okay? i noticed all the scratches and some were kinda bleeding…” you said sympathetically.

“don’t worry about me, i’ve had worse,” he smiled.

when he finished he put it on his desk and walked back over to you, kissing you gently.

“you good princess?”

you nodded dazed, causing eren to chuckle. he pulled you up and helped you get dressed, allowing you to fix your makeup and hair.

when you left his bedroom the party was still full swing, people dancing and drinking.

“ayeee ! there they are,” porco called out, clapping eren on the back when he sat next to him.

you were about to walk off to sit with pieck and sasha when eren grabbed your hand and pulled you into his lap.

you looked at him confused when he muttered in your ear. “didn’t i tell you you’re never getting rid of me ?”

you were sure this time you were blushing, especially when he kissed the dark hickey on your neck.

“alright, we get it, you fucked, get a room,” sasha fake gagged, giggling after.

eren made eye contact with reiner. “she won’t be able to walk next time we get a room.”

[goldfades]

★ YOU AND ME, WE'D BE A BIG CONVERSATION─── PB⁵ (part 1/3)

❪ requested -> "paige x famous!reader (singer, actress, up to u) inspired by endgame by ts where p reveals that r is her celeb crush in an interview and a few days later theres a vid of r responding to it saying shes been obsessed w paige lately / its such a big deal bc r has been involved in a lot of romantic drama lately so everyone is kinda iffy abt her rn, causing her to put up a tough guard. but p sees thru the facade when they start talking and allows her to be herself, making r fall even harder 🥹 " ❫ for my disco nonnie!

─ warnings | gossip, a lot of drama and random ass names (sorry i get confused when i don't name them), mention of panic attacks, hurt to comfort, pretty sure nothing else?

⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!

"Y/N L/N, ONE OF the biggest names right now in the music industry has found herself at the center of yet another romantic scandal involving her ex and now, reportedly a new lover."

The 22-year-old pop sensation, who recently topped the charts with her latest single, was spotted last night leaving an upscale Los Angeles restaurant with actress and heartthrob, Camilla Harrison. The two were seen getting into the same car, sparking rumors of a budding romance.

This sighting comes just weeks after Y/N's highly publicized breakup with fellow musician Lauren Marie, with whom she had a tumultuous on-again, off-again relationship for over two years. The split was reportedly mutual, with both parties citing busy schedules and the pressures of their careers as contributing factors. However, sources close to the couple suggest that Marie was unhappy about Y/N's close friendship with Harrison, which began on the set of her recent music video where Marie made a cameo appearance.

"Y/N and Cam have undeniable chemistry," says an insider. "They've been spending a lot of time together, and it's more than just a professional connection. They're trying to keep things low-key, but it's clear there's something more than friendship between them."

Despite the drama, Y/N continues to thrive professionally. Her upcoming album set to release in the next couple month, is already generating significant buzz. Critics are calling it her most mature work yet, with deeply personal lyrics that reflect her recent experiences.

Meanwhile, Harrison, 26, known for her roles in blockbuster films and her good looks, has remained tight-lipped about the rumors. Her publicist declined to comment, stating that Marie is concentrating on her upcoming film projects.

──

"Okay, next question," the reporter smiled as she scrolled through her phone as Paige gave a tight-lipped smile toward the camera. "Oh! Found a good one, okay. Who is your celebrity crush right now."

"That's easy!" Paige laughed as she glanced toward the reporter. "Y/N L/N, she's beautiful and insanely talented,"

The room filled with laughter as the reporter raised an eyebrow, clearly delighted by the response. "Y/N L/N, huh? That's a popular choice these days, a lot of people are big fans. Have you met her?"

Paige shook her head, her cheeks slightly flushing. "Nah, I wish. But I'm a huge fan of her music. Every song is a masterpiece and I'm not usually into pop,"

"Interesting," the reporter leaned forward, intrigued. "You know, there are rumors about Y/N's love life all the time. How do you feel about all the speculation surrounding her personal life?"

Paige shrugged, maintaining her relaxed demeanor despite the stupid question. "I think it's tough being in the spotlight like that. People forget that celebrities are human too. Everyone deserves a bit of privacy, I'm more interested in her work and what she brings to the music industry rather than whoever she's dating."

The reporter nodded, appreciating Paige's perspective. "Absolutely. It's refreshing to hear someone focus on the artistry rather than the gossip!"

──

"Okay, quick. Who's your celeb crush right now, other than Cam," Bowen Yang, grinned at you, raising an eyebrow as the audience laughed, eagerly awaiting your response.

You laugh (and decide to ignore the comment about Cam), feeling a slight blush creep up your cheeks. "Oh, come on, Bowen, you can't put me on the spot like that!"

Bowen leaned in, his grin widening. "Come on, Y/N, the people want to know!" He pointed to the crowd as they cheered, causing you to put your face in yours hands.

You then take a deep breath, pretending to think hard. "Fine, if I have to choose... I'd say Paige Bueckers. She's incredible on the court, and I've seen some interviews with her ─ she seems like such a cool person."

The audience erupts with loud cheers, causing both you and Bowen to laugh. Bowen's eyes widen, clearly delighted by your answer as he clapped. "Ooh, scandalous! Paige Bueckers, I love that! Have you met her?"

You shake your head, smiling. "No, not yet. But I did see a clip of her saying some really nice things about me recently. It was super sweet."

Bowen's face lights up with excitement. "She was practically gushing over you, this is perfect, we need to make this happen. Maybe you could collab, I don't know how but uh, if anyone could make it happen, it's you."

"Thank you, I think?" You laugh, nodding. "Totally, we'll see what happens."

Bowen turns to the camera, his enthusiasm infectious. "You heard it here first, folks! Y/N and Paige Bueckers, the crossover we never knew we needed but now desperately want!"

The audience erupts in applause and cheers, and you can't help but smile at the idea. Bowen turns back to you, his tone shifting slightly more serious. "Alright, before we wrap up, I have to ask ─ how do you deal with all the attention and rumors about your personal life? It seems like you're constantly in the spotlight."

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, caught off guard by the serious question. "It's um, definitely challenging at times, but I try to focus on the positive aspects. I love making music and my fans. As for the rumors, I just remind myself that I can't control what people say or think. I stay true to myself and the people who really know me, and that's what matters most."

Bowen nods appreciatively. "Wise words, Y/N. And that's why we love you so. Thank you so much for being here tonight."

"Thank you for having me," you reply, genuinely touched by the support.

"And that's Y/N L/N!"

The crowd erupts in cheers as you genuinely smile, happy for the support, waving toward the audience.

──

"Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast I'm Lila, and today we've got a lot to talk about. Y/N L/N is at the center of yet another romantic scandal, and there's even a new twist involving basketball star Paige Bueckers. Let's dive in!" Lila said, her enthusiasm palpable.

"Yaya, so excited," Maya chimed in, adjusting her headphones. "So, Y/N was spotted last night leaving an upscale LA restaurant with actress Cam Harrison. They got into the same car, which has everyone buzzing about a possible new romance."

"Yeah, and this is just weeks after her very public breakup with Lauren, I think that's her name? It's been a whirlwind, to say the least. But honestly, I think Y/N is handling it all pretty well. She's focused on her music, and she's just living her life. What's your take, My?" Lila asked, leaning in slightly.

Maya sighed, her skepticism evident. "I don't know, Lila. I get that she's young and living her life or whatever, but it feels like there's always some new drama with her. First Lauren, now Cam Harrison? It's starting to look like a pattern."

"But that's thing, with being in your early twenties. Figuring out what you want, who you want to be with? I mean, she's also incredibly talented and driven. Her new album is generating a ton of buzz and it hasn't even been released yet," Lila countered, her voice full of admiration.

"Sure, but it seems like she's always entangled in some romantic drama. Maybe it's just the nature of fame or whatever, but it can also come off as messy. And now, with Paige Bueckers gushing about her in that interview, it adds another layer. I just hope she’s not stringing people along," Maya replied, her tone annoyed.

Lila nodded, annoyed at Maya's words but maintaining her supportive stance. "I get where you're coming from, but did you see Paige's reaction? She was genuinely excited about Y/N. It was sweet. Plus, Y/N responded so positively on the SNL interview. I think it shows she's got a good heart and she's just navigating her way through a complicated life!"

Maya hesitated for a moment as she glanced at the camera, then continued. "I mean, look at Taylor Swift. She's known for her string of high-profile relationships and breakups, and it hasn't always been received positively. It feels like Y/N is heading down a similar path- What?"

"Come on, Maya!" Lila glared at her, clearly displeased. "Comparing Y/N to Taylor Swift isn't fair. Taylor's faced a lot of unfair criticism for just living her life and expressing herself through her music. Y/N is her own person, with her own journey. She's navigating her twenties in the spotlight, and that's not easy."

Maya just shrugged as she glanced toward the camera, before adjusting her mic. "Well that got awkward, moving on..."

──── COMMENTS

sela 🐾 | is she wrong though... love her music but why'd paige gotta get involved too? ♡ 108

↳ l/nslover | cause they like each other???

↳ 🦕 | has bro ever heard of a pr relationship 😭

↳ ari! | THEYRE NOT EVEN TOGETHER YET BROOO😭😭😭

sarah™️ | LILA GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE BROOOO 😭😭 i never liked maya tbh this is just a weird ass take ♡ 1.7k

kayla 🎀 | listen as a y/n girly i also understand maya's point of view cause.... shes kinda for the streets ♡ 879

↳ ™️ | dont call yourself a """"" y/n girly """""" if ur gonna say she's for the streets??? the fuck??

⭐️ | i was understanding maya's pov up until she started saying all that taylor swift bullshit, they're two separate artists LET US LIVEEEEEEE ♡ 2k

josie may | hardest watch of the day 🥲 maya u let us down with that dumb ass take

──

"I just kinda... wanna disappear for awhile," you confessed, your voice quiet as you pressed the phone to your ear. "Don't know why this keeps happening, you're the only that can... help me through it. Sorry if I woke you up-"

It happened again ─ over the last couple of months (ever since you'd broken up with Lauren) you'd gotten pretty severe panic attacks. You were told by everyone on your team to just stay off social media and what had you done... exactly the opposite of that.

"No, no, I was awake anyway, promise," Paige's voice echoed through the phone. You heard shuffling through the phone as you sniffled, sighing. "And I don't mind, like at all. I meant what I said, I'm always here for you,"

Your heart swelled as you managed a smile, as tears began to build in your eyes. You and Paige had only been talking a month and she already understood you more than anyone had in what felt like forever. Her steady presence was like an anchor in the storm of your life.

The constant media scrutiny and the aftermath of your breakup with Lauren had left you feeling alone, but Paige’s calming influence was slowly becoming your safe haven.

"I just... I don't know how to deal with all of it. The rumors, the pressure, it's all so overwhelming," you admitted, wiping away the tears that had started to fall. "Half of it, it isn't even true."

"Hey, it's okay, I know, I believe you," Paige's voice was soothing, almost like a warm embrace over the phone. Even the smallest affirmation from Paige made you feel all okay again, even if it was just for the moment.

"You're not alone in this. We can figure it out together, step by step."

That part made your lips twitch up in a smile, feeling yourself relax again. You took a deep breath, feeling a bit of the tension ease from your shoulders. "I just feel like I can't breathe sometimes. Like the walls are closing in, y'know?"

"I get it," Paige replied softly. She'd know about it all too well, she'd been through it herself plenty of times. "Sometimes it helps to focus on the small things. One step at a time, remember? Have you tried any of those breathing exercises I taught you?"

You nodded, even though she couldn't see you. "Yeah, a little. They help, but it’s hard to remember in the moment."

"Next time you feel a panic attack coming on, call me. Anytime, okay? We'll get through it together," Paige's voice was firm, reassuring. "You don't deserve the shit they give you, like at all."

"Thank you," you whispered, feeling a surge of gratitude. "I don't know what I'd do without you, P."

"You don't have to thank me. I care about you, and I wanna help. Plus, I like hearing your voice," Paige added with a light chuckle, trying to lift your spirits.

You couldn't help but smile at that. "Me too, especially your cute tired voice."

"Cute, really?" Paige laughed through the phone and you swore you felt like your whole world felt even again. "But uh, if you do really wanna disappear you can always come to Connecticut."

The thought of escaping the relentless spotlight, even for a little while, sounded like a dream. "Really?"

"Yeah, you can stay with me for a bit, if that's uh... what you want." Paige explained through the phone. "My friends are super chill and it's always a fun time, if you ever wanna come. Think about it?"

The idea of spending time with the basketball player you'd quickly become enthralled with, seemed almost like a dream. And getting away from LA and all the madness that came with it sounded heavenly, you were going to give Connecticut a thought.

You sighed, feeling a warmth spread through you that had been absent for far too long. "Yeah, I will. And Paige?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. Really."

"Anytime, Y/N. Sweet dreams."

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[saintslewis]

Graduation

pairing: lewis hamilton x black fem reader

summary: in which you celebrate your graduation day with your husband and family/friends

saint’s notes: in honour of graduation season, here’s a fic for y’all 🫶🏽 first f1 fic let’s gaurrrrrrr

social media + real life au

taglist: @thisismeracing (i really love your acc so this is to just say 🫶🏽)

ynhamilton

liked by lewishamilton, bellahadid and 7,838,839 others

ynhamilton i’ve successfully served cunt academically

view comments

user she is mother and no one can say otherwise

landonoriss mom finally graduated 🥹

ynhamilton not even gonna say anything anymore-

lewishamilton congratulations my love! i’m extremely proud of you and i love you

ynhamilton i love you more 🥹 thank you for the gift btw 🤭

lewishamilton i love you way more but okay 🩷

user what degree did you get???

ynhamilton a masters in English Literature 😋

user oh so you smart smart?

ynhamilton pretty much

pierregasly10 so no more doing homework in the wrong motor homes? (alpine misses your frantic typing)

ynhamilton it was one time and i’m a mercedes girly so pls

mercedesamgf1 i know that’s right! 🤭

charles_leclerc congratulations y/n! making me feel like a proud parent

maxverstappen1 weren’t you crying when she got on stage? 😭

carlossainz55 he was and it was the funniest thing ever

user damn, so the whole grid was at her graduation? 😧

user basically yeah 😭, i was graduating as an undergraduate and when they called her name, they cheered so loud

user and when lewis yelled ‘that’s my wife!’ I shed a couple of tears

bellahadid babe omg!!!!! congrats, so excited to see you omg

gigihadid bella shhhhh

sza you guys aren’t good at this 😭

danielricciardo you did serve cunt

ynhamilton thanks Danny 🥳

susiewolff what do you guys say? you ate them up!

ynhamilton that’s the spirit Susie!!

youryoungersister CONGRATS

ynhamilton thanks stupid

youryoungersister since you got your degree and yk everything fucking thing-

ynhamilton degrees*

youryoungersister celcius bitch

sophiarichiegrainge i literally love you so much

ynhamilton you’re too sweet, i love you too

The traffic of getting out of the campus was tough, the occasional fan coming up to the car to either take videos of it for social media or to interact with both you, Lewis or the other drivers. Having the top down for the fans to have better access to the both of you resulted in paparazzi at the gate of the university, trying to grab pictures of you mainly.

“Babe look! They’re calling it the Paddock Grad party.” You chuckled as you chuckled at the tweets you were scrolling through as you found out that you were trending on the app. The wind wasn’t too harsh on your faces as he cruised down the streets, constantly congratulating you and doing an amazing job at distracting you from the fact that the rest of the grid that attended your graduation had driven past you.

Reaching the infamous Hidden Hills gates, you were greeted with balloons from the guards, already putting the biggest smile on your face. Driving towards your LA home, you noticed all the super cars, hyper cars and luxury vehicles leading up to your driveway with each car having a gold balloon strapped around the mirror. You were absolutely stunned by everything you were taking in and Lewis looked at you as if you hung up all the stars in the night sky, extremely proud of your achievements.

With him helping you out of the car, you noticed the white rose petals scattered around the front yard and the music blaring from your backyard. The thought of all your favourite people coming together to celebrate your newest achievement was bringing tears of joy to your eyes, refusing to cry and ruining your lashes. Walking into your home, you noticed the incredibly large table of gifts as you walked into your foyer and Lewis just following behind you as you marvelled at everything in your home.

“Y/n,” He called out as you were a few feet away from the door leading to your backyard. Looking back at your husband, you held his hand. “Don’t you want to change your shoes?” He asked, noticing your discomfort from your heels after the graduation ceremony had ended. You nodded with the most love sick smile on your face as he brought out your favourite Gucci platform sandals from behind his back. He let out a little giggle at the look on your face and got on his knees to undo your shoes for you. Sighing of relief as your bare feet hit the cool ground, you slipped your feet into the sandals, noticing the height change between you and Lewis as he was taller than you. He placed a kiss on your forehead then your lips, repeatedly kissing your lips until your giggle stopped him.

As you walked into the kitchen which had access to the patio door, you noticed all the food and dessert beautifully decorated with white and gold, the one thing catching your attention the most was the doughnut stand in the middle of your island. You gasped and immediately went for the stand, grabbing a white chocolate doughnut that wrote ‘congratulations, y/n!’. You split it into two pieces and offered to Lewis knowing he would definitely decline it but he surprised you by taking the other half. “What? I can’t say no to a celebration.” He winked at you as he took a bite out of it.

Almost forgetting about the party he quite literally planned to happen in his backyard, he held your hand once again and led you to the party outside with all the guests waiting for you. As he opened the door, the sounds of Kaytranada were heard and people talking as they turned their attention to the door you were walking out from. The cheers started as you fully walked into the yard with Lewis squeezing your hand and letting it go, stepping to the side to let people celebrate you.

The first person to approach you was your mother, embracing you in a loving hug as tears threatened to fall. The next being your younger sister, trying her hardest to stay cool as she looked at you so proudly. Your immediate family had come up to congratulate you before letting your friends celebrate you.

After receiving hugs and congratulatory messages from everyone, taking many photos from the Photo Booth that was rented and a little bit of dancing, it was soon time to eat as the sun was setting beautifully as the hues of pink and orange hit your skin. Placing your graduation cap on the hook of your chair, you faced everyone as you sat at the head of the table. During your meal, you decided to make a speech to say thank you to everyone.

“Hey everyone,” You greeted as all eyes turned to you when you stood up. “Um, sorry for interrupting your eating. Just wanted to say a speech to you guys.” You began and you heard Daniel Ric’s iconic ‘Ki ki’ noises that you’ve had the honour of hearing live many times. “Thank you Daniel for that, gratefully appreciated.” You smiled, causing the whole table to laugh.

“I would like to start off by saying thank you, truly. To my family for supporting me through everything, to myself for getting these degrees, to my friends that i have met along the way and to my loving husband for sticking with me and loving me.” You expressed, seeing smiles from everyone around you. “I remember leaving home, just graduated with my undergrad and i wanted to spoil myself and I took a solo trip to the Monaco gp with an extremely limited budget and i didn’t know what i was going to eat for that week but my younger delusional self knew that I wasn’t going to struggle because a driver will see me on the stand and instantly fall for me and well, that’s exactly what happened except now I’m the designated paddock mom.” You chuckled, reminiscing on that life changing week.

“Years later, I’m married to the love of my life with my master’s degree on lock, just hitting the millionaire status from my career and the best people by my side supporting me through and through. I truly love all of you so much and lemme stop before i ruin this makeup.” You laughed, grabbing a serviette and dabbing your eyes before tears fell.

The night had carried on beautifully as your friends had made speeches about how it was when you’d complain about your work load to them or the iconic moments you’d take your homework along with you to a few races. Having your favourite desserts and dancing with your friends until late had made you feel happy about everything that you’ve accomplished for yourself.

[daisyblog]

Chapter One: Evie

Show Me Love Summary

Trigger warnings:  18+, anxiety, strong language, emotional abuse, alcohol use, undiagnosed/struggling with learning difficulty. 

Chapter 2 >

Evie:

Note to myself: always set an alarm the night before a class, especially a 9am start.

Stretching over to the nightstand that stood beside my bed, tapping my phone screen 8:12 it read. Rubbing my eyes as the light shined through at my slightly opened curtains. Despite already running late, I couldn't help but scroll through my socials before I sat up and my feet touched the wooden floor of my room as I walked into the en-suite bathroom.

Jumping into the shower quickly to freshen up, before walking to the wardrobe sat in the corner of the room and pulling out a pair of black leggings and an oversized green sweatshirt, paired with my trusty old black converse. I threw them onto my body quickly, before deciding to rock the bare face look today and pulling my hair back with a claw clip.

Grabbing my bag from the floor near my bed, I made my way into the shared kitchen space where Lily was sat by the small table drinking from her mug as she scrolled through her phone. I was lucky when assigned flatmates at the start of our first year, Lily, Bella, and I instantly clicked. It was like we had known each other for years and not just since September.

"Morning, I thought you had a class this morning?" Lily greeted as she looked down at her phone, I assumed checking the time as I had said last night; I had an early class. 

I rummaged around, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge "It's me Lils, it wouldn't be right if I was on time", before making my way towards the front door.

Lily let out a giggle "You're something else Eve" before we said our goodbyes. 

Putting my earphones in while I walked and pressing play on a playlist. Music filling my ears, my type of therapy. Campus was only a short walk but once again, I was late. It was hard to explain, I've always found it difficult to manage my time and even waking up extra early I'd still be late. Distraction and lack of attention was my weakness. 

I entered the building and climbed the stairs, taking my earphones out and making my way to the class. I hated this class as it was. I wasn't failing but apparently averaging a 65 wasn't good enough in my parents eyes. In the words of my father "you could be doing better". It was safe to say, my parents were the type of people that I could have achieved 99 on an assignment but they would focus on the one mark I missed.

I tried to quietly open the door, aware that most students were already inside and listening to the lecturer that stood up front. I spotted Niall and Harry sitting at the back. We'd met on the first week of classes and instantly I bonded with both boys. I'd learnt that Niall and I both played guitar and Harry and I shared the love for Fleetwood Mac and The Beatles. 

Niall and I were were often shot glares from the other students for laughing and whispering a bit too loudly in class. Harry was a tad quieter than us, not allowing himself to get distracted. He'd keep his focus as he typed away on his laptop making notes. 

"Ah nice of you to join us Miss Green" I heard the deep sarcastic voice of the lecturer who Niall and I had nicknamed Cactus because he was prick. His voice and comment, caused all eyes to land on me. I fought the urge to roll my eyes and continued walking towards the back and sat next to Niall.

"Nice of you to join me Miss Green" Niall mocked  him, with a chuckle. As I pulled out my laptop in front of me to attempt to write some notes. Prime word: attempt. I'd spend a lot of time in classes looking around, envious of others typing out pages and pages of words, wondering how they made it look so easy. Harry being one. 

I took him in as he sat opposite, a grey hoodie covering his body and his curls sitting on top of his head so effortlessly. His eyes focused on the screen in front of him, his tongue poking out slightly as he concentrated.  

"You're drooling" Niall whispered in my ear and nudged my shoulder, making me break my stare and send him a scowl and mouth 'fuck off'. I mean I couldn't deny that Harry was attractive, but Niall loved to stir and joke around, especially when it included Harry and I. 

"Are you still coming over to ours later for the party?" His strong Irish accent asked as he continued to type and glance up at the large screen that hung high on the wall, displaying bits of text that the lecturer was reading from. 

Niall, Harry and their flatmates were hosting a party this evening, and Bella and, one of their friends, Zayn had a little thing going on. So of course, Lily and I were being dragged along. Not that I was complaining, a party was a party. "Bella's making us, you better have some good food and lots of drink" I playfully warned.

"Please, you know I have" Niall held a hand to his chest, pretending to act hurt. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. I glanced up noticing Harry was still focusing on his work. Almost like he could feel my stare, his eyes met mine and his eyebrows raised as he caught me staring, but sending me a cheeky wink. It wasn't unusual for Harry to be a tad flirty or show me some sort of affection. It was like it was in his nature to be kind and loving but it didn't stop the heat rising up my cheeks. 

Once the class had been dismissed, I walked slightly in front of the two as Niall was showing Harry something on his phone about football. Not wanting to interrupt their conversation, I checked my own phone noticing a couple of notifications from Bella and Lily in our group chat, talking about what they were wearing tonight. 

As we exited the building, the boys announced they were walking the opposite way as they going to meet their friends. I waved goodbye and explained I'd see them later. Walking back to the flat was quick as I listened to some music. Entering I could hear music playing from under Lily's bedroom door meaning she was usually doing some work. 

After making a quick chicken pasta dish for lunch and putting the leftovers in the fridge, I headed to my room. Opening the door, I saw the clothes thrown on the floor where I rushed to get ready this morning, picking them I placed them into the laundry basket in the corner as my phone began to ring.

Mum.

"Hey Mum!" I answered, taking a seat on my unmade bed and began to subconsciously pick at the skin around my nail, a habit that I done from a young age.

"Oh Evie, I'm glad you answered. You're never going to guess what?" My mother's enthusiastic voice could be heard through the phone, before I had the chance to answer, she continued "Your sisters had a promotion, isn't that amazing?".

It was amazing, how could anyone disagree. But I'd always been jealous of my older sister, Megan. She was popular, smart, never did anything wrong, always seemed to do everything right. Pushing down my thoughts I politely answered "That is amazing, tell her I said congratulations".

"Honestly we are so proud of her, your father and I are thinking of throwing her a party or something to celebrate". She rambled on. Another thing, Megan was never told no to anything. Megan asked for money, she got it. Megan asked to stay up longer, she got it. Megan asked for a new car, she got it. I remember when I was 8, I had asked for a sleepover for my birthday because that's what all my friends were doing but despite it being my birthday, I was told "No, Megan's having some friends over that day". 

"Megan would love that I'm sure!" The sarcasm evident in my voice, despite the feeling of anger building up inside of me. I felt trapped in this never ending cycle of not being good enough. Always comparing myself to others. Always trying to push my feelings down and put on a brave face. But it was getting harder each time. 

"I'm going to start planning it straight away!" she explained. "How's your classes going, I hope you're trying hard, I know it doesn't come easy to you like your sister, she's such a clever girl!". I could feel the lump in my throat start to rise and I tried hard to swallow it. Trying my hardest to keep the tears from spilling. 

"Yeah they're going well, I've actually got to go because I'm about to go into another, bye Mum!"I quickly made up the excuse before ending the phone call. Laying down, I allowed the tears to run down my cheeks as my body curled up. After laying there for some time, thoughts swimming around in my head, I decided it was time to get ready for tonight, not wanting to dwell on the situation anymore, it was never going to change was it?

Getting in the shower, I allowed the hot water run down my body. After washing my hair, the smell of strawberries surrounding me from the shampoo. I got out and wrapped my towel around me before walking over to my wardrobe to decide what I was going to wear. After pulling a few options out, I picked a white cropped top, ripped black mom jeans and paired them with my white converse. 

As I finished drying my hair, Lily entered with her make-up bag in her hand "Thought we could get ready together, Bella's already there because she stayed with Zayn".

"We're losing her Lils" I joked whilst I applied some foundation onto my bare face. As we both curled our hair, we chatted about different things. Lily even admitted that there was a girl who she liked was going to the party tonight and she was hoping that maybe she would see her. She was a sweet girl and I always admired how she was always herself regardless of who she was around. 

Once we were both ready, we made our way over the party that was in the next building to ours. I was excited to relax tonight and just enjoy. After the conversation with my mother earlier, I needed it even more. As we entered the flat, it wasn't full but it was definitely a bit more than a gathering. 

Bella, who was standing next to Zayn, snuggled under his arm and a few others gathered around them that I didn't recognise, called us over. Pulling us both into a hug "Aw girls I've missed ya".

"I'm surprised your stuff is still in the flat" I joked about how she's been staying over with Zayn a lot recently. It was nice to see her so happy and content, it must be nice to feel that wanted and loved. 

"Sorry girls, I just miss her when she's not here" Zayn wrapped his arm around her shoulder pulling her closer to him. They looked good together I'll admit that, both had a unique style and both absolutely beautiful. 

"Evie Green" An Irish accent was heard, making us all look behind me. Niall was seen making his way through the groups of people to join us, Harry trailing behind him. Louis and Liam, their two other roommates, still yet to be seen. 

"Niall Horan" I called back as they got closer and Harry swung his arm around my shoulder, letting it rest there as Niall passed Lily and I a bottle of cider each. "I see you're giving us the hard stuff 'ey Ni".

"Don't want you getting into a state again do we Green?" Niall brought up the time we were all out a few months ago celebrating Bella's birthday, and I drank way too many shots and couldn't put one foot in front of the other and had to be taken home early.

As I took a sip, the taste of strawberry and lime hit my tongue, I rolled my eyes. "It was one time Niall, one time. Just let it go". The group around us, laughing at our usual banter. Little to their knowledge Niall and I had shared many drunken conversations. Some were funny, some were serious but for some reason I'd let him on my family dynamic. He sat and listened, no judgement, just being a true friend and I loved him it for it.

As the night went on, so the drinks flowed and I could feel it take effect on me. I wasn't drunk but definitely tipsy. I was now dancing in the middle of the living room with Bella and Lily, the three of us mimicking each other and trying our best not to stumble. I felt free, just me being myself with a group of people who accepted me. 

"Oh, I'll be right back" Lily spoke quickly, interrupting our dancing bubble, before she walked away from us and made her way over to a girl in the corner. I assumed she was the one who she told me about earlier. I watched on as the two smiled and spoke quietly in the corner. Not wanting to stare, I turned back to Bella. 

"C'mon, let's go and find some food, I'm starving" Bella suggested, taking my hand and pulling me into the direction of kitchen. As we entered, Harry and Zayn was standing in the corner talking to each other, both turning as Bella pulled us through the crowd. "Zayn!" Bella's called out, causing Zayn to cringe when he realised how drunk his girlfriend now was. "Can we have food please?". 

As Zayn made his way over to help Bella, immediately pulling her closer to him and guiding her over to where the food was, my legs took me to where Harry was still standing. He was leaning against the counter, a plain white t-shirt covering his chest and black ripped jeans long on his legs.

"Hey stranger!" he joked, continuing to hold his drink in his ring clad hands. "Started to think you'd left". His bicep showing more through his t-shirt as he brought the bottle up to his lips.

"Can't get rid of me that easily" my lips turning up into a genuine smile as I realised he'd obviously been thinking about me tonight. "Bella's a bit tipsy and is now looking for food".

"Yeah, I heard her before I saw her" Harry continued to make jokes. Bella was known by the group for being the loud drunk. If you couldn't see her, you would definitely hear her. "I've been meaning to ask-".

"Shots! Shots! Shots!" a voice interrupted our conversation, pushing their way between us. "C'mon, everyone else is being boring and won't do any with me" Niall handed us both a shot glass. "Can always rely on you two..ready...three..two..one". Three of us lifting the glasses to our lips and letting the liquid run down our throats, making me shiver at the sharp taste. 

"What happened to not wanting me to get into a drunken state?" I raised my eyebrows at the brunette, as he gave me another bottle of cider. 

"Harry here will look after you, so I know you're in safe hands" he explained as he pulled Harry by his neck, trying to mess up his hair. Harry gave him a playful shove before Niall walked away flipping us both off, his contagious laugh following him. 

"What were you going to ask me?" I asked Harry, remembering he was about to ask me something before Niall and his shots interrupted. 

Harry looked slightly nervous. Something I'd never seen before. "Oh uh, I was..uh..there's like a bands night down the pub tomorrow night, I've got two tickets and was going to ask if you wanted to come?".

"Are you sure you don't want Niall or Zayn to go?" I asked, slightly aware that Harry and I hadn't spent time alone. This would be the first.

"No, they're going to be doing covers and stuff and I know we like the same music so I thought of you straight away when I saw the poster" he confessed, a nervous shadow covering his face. My heart and stomach fluttered at his words. He really was the sweetest. 

"I'd love to come, thank you" I gave him a genuine and grateful smile "What time?" I questioned. Wanting to make sure I was ready on time and didn't keep him waiting. Another thing I was always lectured about by my parents was my time keeping, well lack of. 

Harry reached for his phone in his back pocket, scrolling for a few seconds. I assumed he was checking the tickets for time. "It starts at 8, so I'll pick you up around 7:30?".

"Yeah sounds good, I'll try to be ready" I laughed at my own joke, knowing he had witnessed my lack of punctuality many of times throughout this first year of university.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, his dimples appearing as he smiled "It's fine, it wouldn't feel right if you were on time would it?". He didn't criticise but accepted that this was my personality and it wasn't necessarily a negative thing. 

I didn't get the chance to answer as my phone buzzed in my pocket. As I pulled it out, noticing it was a text notification. Reading it, my whole mood changed. I should have known it was too good to be true that I would remain happy the entire night.

Megan:  Hey! Just letting you know I've been promoted in work, one step closer to the top. Mum said you're having low marks in your classes. I know it can be hard for you but It's probably best if you work harder, you don't want to disappoint Mum and Dad again! 

The reason I decided to apply for Manchester university in the first place was to escape this reality. I was ecstatic when I was accepted, naively I saw it as a way that they couldn't hurt me anymore, but apparently being almost four hours away in London, they still could. Here I was standing in a party full of people feeling worthless and once again lonely.

Harry must have noticed the change in my mood. He tried to pull me closer to him, his hand reaching for mine as he spoke "Hey, what's wrong, everything alright?". But I didn't want comfort, I wasn't worthy of it. Megan was right, I was a disappointment. All I had done my entire life was let people down. 

I pushed Harry's hand away gently, the one that was trying to pull me into him. "Nothing, it's just...nothing". I looked around, noticing Niall in the other room still trying to encourage people to take shots. Walking over to him, leaving Harry's side, I took one from his grasp. The liquid burnt my throat as it left the glass but at this point I didn't care.

"Go on Evie" Niall encouraged, only making me take another one and repeating the action. "We like to drink with Evie cause Evie is our mate! And when we drink with Evie, she finishes in 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!".

After a hour of weakness, continuing to drink anything I could get my hands on. The party had gradually become quieter, only a few of us left. I hadn't seen Harry for a while, I had left him in the kitchen whilst I went to find Niall to do more shots. I found myself trying to make my way to find somewhere to lie down, holding onto the wall for support. My legs struggled to carry my heavy body as I stumbled down the corridor. 

"Fuck" I heard a deep voice behind me. "Eves, how much have you had?" the voice full of concern. Their body now in front of me their hands holding onto mine, my body continuing to sway causing me to let out a childish giggle. "You're wasted". 

"Harry?".

"Yeah it's me, where are you trying to go?" his voice still full of concern, as I tried to move from his grip. My legs failing me as they give way, making me fall. Two strong arms circle my stomach, catching me before I hit the ground. A loud laugh leaving me, as the room spins around me. "Evie, can you tell me where you're going and I'll help you".

"Sleep...I sleep...tired" I stutter over my words, the alcohol deep into my system. Harry effortlessly picked me back up, still holding onto my waist. Afraid I would fall again. 

"Alright, do you think you can walk?" he attempted to help me walk down the corridor but once again my legs fell from beneath me. "I guess not, come on clumsy I'll carry you". 

As Harry lifted me into his arms, I felt a whole weight lift off me. I'd never felt safe, ever, but the warmth feeling was unusual. The moment my head felt the soft cotton of the pillow beneath my head, my eyes could no longer stay awake.

"Sweet dreams Eves".

---

Taglist:

[smolwritingchick]

Just Another Smol Preview :)

Author's Note: Literally a smol preview of the beginning of the MAMA Awards 2016 chapter. Always brainstorming and switching it up so the final product may vary.

I have been thinking a lot of this idea that I have for the MAMA Awards chapter and I'm excited to write about it and see it come to life.

Like I addressed before after MAMA Awards 2016 in the story, this should be the last time I write about Hyuna. This idea came up recently and I rolled with it. I also find myself getting this chapter done faster than anticipated so I am aiming to try to get it out in June and not later than that along with the 3rd Muster chapter. Hopefully not late June.

-----------

'BREAKING! MAMA 2016 Collaboration with Cube's Hyuna and Big Hit's Jennie scrapped!'

Jennie frowned at the article as she sat by her desk in the Smartie Factory. It was crazy how things abruptly changed. Lately, Jennie and Hyuna weren't on speaking terms and issues have been occurring for a while.

It all started with the sneak dissing that Jennie had found out on her Tumblr. She loved scrolling through the tag of her name and came across a fairly popular post regarding Hyuna attending a few variety shows and interviews.

Statements such as, "Unlike the others, I don't need to repeatedly say I'm the best from head to toe. You already see it," which ARMY thought about Jennie's War of Hormone lyrics.

"Some rookies can be a bit much and try to overshine a veteran,"

"Some girls in this industry are a bit too fragile. I don't need to call myself bulletproof,"

"You mean the original version of How's This,"

Were just a handful of statements and ARMY immediately speculated she was throwing shade at Jennie.

'Uhhhh did Hyuna just sneak diss, Jennie? Am I freaking out over nothing? That bulletproof and glass line was SUS,' one comment said.

ARMY went on to do more research and they immediately figured out that there was some sort of animosity in Hyuna's words and it caused confusion in the fandom.

"The hell...?" Miss Bangtan murmured as she read about it and even saw her and Hyuna trending on Twitter.

Her stomach dropped and she felt hurt by the words. It confused her as to why she would say these things. Deciding to go straight to the source, she messaged Hyuna on KakaoTalk.

Jen: Ummmm what's going on sis? We got a problem or something? If so let's address it now. Call me when you're free

But hours later, still no reply. What officially solidified the fact there was an issue going on was when Jennie facetimed Hayoon about it.

"I'm trying to contact her so we can settle this shit now instead of over the internet. But I haven't gotten a response. I don't know how this happened. I didn't even do anything. I know we haven't talked in a while, but damn,"

And that was when Hayoon informed her what was going on from what she heard. She and other people have been overhearing her talking about how upset she was that she would be sharing the stage with Jennie for How's This. She wanted to perform it alone and on top of that felt bothered by the fact that the duet music video with Jennie started to get way more views than the original video.

"I mean it got more views because ARMY loves to support every member of Bangtan. They were bound to have the views boost," Jennie exclaimed on Facetime while Hayoon nodded. "That's one of the amazing things about them. They watched that video for me and I'm grateful but damn, is it that deep? So, she doesn't want to share the stage with me and is feeling some type of the way that her original music video didn't have that many views? Ma'am, if that was a problem, instead of throwing shots, why not talk to me face to face and express yourself? All this childishness for what?"

"I know. It's ridiculous," Hayoon said with a frown. "I had to distance myself from her. I didn't like the things she was saying. And I even talked to her about it but she blew me off and said she didn't care,"

Jennie sighed and shook her head. "Annoying...thanks for telling me...wow...the switch up is crazy...I just don't understand,"

"Of course. Still no reply?"

Jennie went to check back on the app and scoffed. "Did this bitch block me?!"

"What?! No way!"

"Wowwww. So, it's like that? Okay. I can't even contact her anymore...this is making me start to have trust issues a little bit. Like we were so close and would hang out and talk often and I trusted her with a lot of shit...I hope she doesn't spill anything personal. Because now I'm thinking about my relationship,"

"As much as I dislike her attitude, I don't think she'll spill anything especially when she is dating E'Dawn privately,"

"Yeah...I'm not going to air her dirty laundry and talk about how she got a rookie boyfriend and shit. That's unfair to E'dawn and his future career as an idol,"

"Agreed. No need to get him involved. I believe she won't involve Jungkook as well, so no need to worry,"

Jennie sighed. "When I see her at one of these award shows I'll confront her. This is ridiculous,"

"Some kind of girl's girl she is. So close to award season, too? She should not be trying to paint you as this bad person,"

"Yeah...I just don't know how long it's going to take for the public to understand how grimy she is,"

As the news of her performance with Hyuna wasn't happening anymore, Cube Entertainment and even Mnet made the excuse that they felt like Jennie was not ready to perform with Hyuna and was a bit difficult to work with. Which was a load of bull and lots of fans saw through the BS. However, Big Hit responded in defense to her saying that she was ready, she was very easy to work with and it was their loss on the collaboration.

It warmed her heart to see the company come to her defense and say she would prove doubters wrong on BTS' stage at the MAMA Awards. Hearing the news that the collaboration was scrapped made her feel down since she had been so excited to perform with someone she looked up to for many years. G-Dragon's words still rang through her mind that not everyone is your friend in the industry and the switch ups be crazy.

Now back to reality, Jennie continued to sit by her desk, deep in thought about the situation. All she wanted to do was speak to her like an adult and squash whatever issue she had with her. But with her being blocked, it was clear she wanted nothing to do with Jennie.

It had been days since the first set of disses, along with lyric changes to throw shots at her and the lack of response from Jennie had everyone talking.

People commented:

'Unbothered. I like that,'

'Hyuna cooked you!'

'Everything she said about Jennie was true,'

'Rookie! Hyuna is better than you!'

'So, are you going to respond to HyunA?'

'Damn, still no response?'

'Jennie is known for her impressive stage presence at MAMA. They could have been a powerful duo if egos didn't get in the way. Something ain't right,'

'LOL Hyuna won by default. She is taking forever to respond. Is she scared?'

'Get in the booth, Jennie. Or are you taking the L?'

'So, you just gonna let her talk shit about you like that?'

'Jennie doesn't have to respond to anything.'

'I hate how you guys are instigating this drama.'

'No response is a response, Jennie!'

'Does Miss Bangtan need her bulletproof boy scouts to help her with this one?'

'I bet Jennie is the problem. Because she and Hyuna were great friends and she must have done something wrong...'

'Time to stop hiding behind your boys, woman up and respond to your senior.'

'Respect queen Hyuna!'

'You should be lucky she even asked you to collaborate.'

'ARMY gets on my nerves. They like to spam and stream everything for bragging rights. That music video didn't deserve to get higher views than the OG!'

'Yikes...going after one of the chillest people in the K-Pop industry is not wise because if Jennie responds I bet not hear shit that she was disrespectful when Hyuna started this first. And don't try to say respect your seniors.'

'Y'all are a little too comfortable being rude to Jennie on her page...'

'Hyuna started it and Jen will finish it. Watch!'

'Hyuna is being a bit too bold running her mouth.'

'Of all people when you have Bangtan backing her? And other idols who are close friends with her? I don't understand the logic.'

'Hyuna is untouchable in the industry, no idols will come to her aid,'

'I doubt any idol will defend Jennie from Hyuna. She should handle this herself.'

'Bangtan shouldn't always have to fight her battles. She should handle this by herself,'

'Jennie handles business. She'll respond,'

Still, on social media, she saw herself getting tagged in a lot of Hyuna stuff. Come to find out she was still sneak dissing and her stans were eating it up and defending her. However, ARMY was not too happy about the abrupt attitude change and shade thrown at Miss Bangtan.

"Do you want me to say something?" Yoongi asked, who sat next to her, ready to defend her honor.

"Yoongi...no," she firmly said as she turned to him.

"The situation is so grimy. Like damn, the bitch can't share the stage with you on her song that she wanted you to be on in the first place? Why bother asking to collab?" Angelina spoke up, sitting on the couch with Namjoon. "Did she think it wasn't going to go well? She underestimated the power of ARMY's support and your talent as an artist. Those comments on that YouTube video were mainly about you, Jennie. You outshined her in the music video and she was mad about it and has been holding it in for a while. The bitch is jealous,"

"I'm just confused and thrown off by everything. Like I thought we were friends—"

"Well, she's not your friend," Angelina firmly cut Jennie off, getting upset about Hyuna. "A friend doesn't sneak diss. Fuck her,"

"Are you going to let her just bash your name like this in public?" Namjoon asked.

"She is South Korea's IT girl. Everyone loves her. And if I respond...I have a feeling I'll be public enemy number one. You know how the media is gonna twist this and make me the bad guy," Jennie reminded.

"Jen, I love your calmness, right now because you know I'll be ready to fight somebody," Angelina added. "I wish I had your calmness. But stop being nice,"

"I'm not trying to be! I'm not! I'm getting annoyed, now..." she sighed out of frustration.

"Good. Write about it,"

"Listen, I shouldn't cause Bangtan any drama. Award season is coming up...I can't be taking the attention off of us at the award shows. Like I don't even want to be involved in this drama...why can't I just have some genuine celebrity friends, that won't get mad over petty shit, like this? I'm getting PTSD from Hailey and that took a while to heal from,"

"Munchkin, you're not causing drama for us," Hobi spoke up as he leaned against the wall, next to the couch. "I know you're thinking of the negatives but the positives outweigh it. You should respond,"

"And you know that people love you, too. She is not the only beloved K-Pop idol, in the world. You've been making a positive name for yourself with us as BTS. ARMY and us will not stand for the slander. I want you to write about it all," Yoongi affirmed.

"Turn this negative into a positive," Namjoon reminded.

"Diss track incoming?" Angelina smiled.

Jennie let the rappers' words sink in as she glanced at all of them. They had a point. She couldn't just let her bash her name like this out of nowhere. On top of that, she didn't want to hear anything about being respectful to her seniors when she was getting disrespected unprovoked. It bothered her how people think they can talk to younger people in any type of way. Respect should be a mutual thing.

"For now, don't bother engaging in the drama on social media. Don't respond to any of it online. Continue to go about your day like normal," Namjoon suggested.

"Yeah...okay. You're right. All of you," she replied. "I really can't let her just get away with talking shit and not saying it directly to my face. Especially when she didn't even want to respond to my messages and blocked me. She needs to get checked,"

"Good. I'm looking forward to this," Hobi smiled.

"You and I both," Yoongi revealed his gummy smile.

Jennie chuckled and turned to Namjoon. "This reminds me a little bit of the Bobby situation and your diss at MAMA 2014. But yours was more of entertainment. Unlike this,"

The leader chuckled at that and nodded. "Yeah. Well, what are you going to do, now?"

"Handle it," she firmly responded and grabbed her notebook.

"Best news I've heard all day. Get writing," Angelina broke out into a big smile, as the others agreed.

"Mama Awards 2016. Speak your truth, there. Let's talk to the staff later about everything," Namjoon recommended.

"Okay," Jennie nodded, liking that idea. "I'll show you what I have when I'm done. Can I be alone, please? To work?"

The boys respected her decision and left her to work while Angelina stayed behind with Namjoon waiting for her outside the studio.

"Word of advice? Try the 8 Mile method. The stealing thunder strategy. You remember the movie and the final rap battle with Eminem?" Angelina asked as she got off the couch.

"Yeah. I've watched it a few times. That's not a bad idea. I'll work on it,"

[thatesqcrush]

In Another Time: Finals Fun

AN: To the tune of Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) OMG I’m back again! I missed Prof. Kneef. Enjoy! 

Bryan Kneef x f! reader. CW: NSFW language, finger fucking. WC: 2377.  

The end of semester was a few days away. 

You and your friends decided to have a last hurrah at the local pub. And apparently the entire school also had the same idea. The pub was running a special, $5 pitchers, $2.50 “beer of the day,” and half off apps. To say it was packed was an understatement. Fortunately you and your friends arrived early enough to snag the last booth. You held the booth while your friends, Elody, Diego and Teresa ordered food and pitchers.

You scrolled through your phone, waiting for your friends. You debated texting Bryan but you knew with finals, he had been busier than ever. Your friends made their way through the crowd, walking carefully with overflowing pitchers in hand along with some appetizers. You reached up to help take things off their full hands. 

Music was pumping, the baseball game was on. It felt nice to relax and unwind after all the hard work you had been putting in - the endless hours, the grueling exams, the way law school prepared you for the Bar, not actual law practice. You plucked a loaded nacho chip from the red plastic basket in front of you before refilling your glass. The four of you chit-chatted as you people watched. 

Teresa let out a low whistle. “Professor Hottie is here.”

“Huh?” You questioned, turning your head. When you saw who it was, you nearly choked on your beer. “Oh, Professor Kneef.” 

Bryan was at the bar, his attention on the bartender. You felt yourself grow warm as you drank him in. He was dressed casually, dark jeans and a button down, the sleeves rolled up, top button undone. 

“That’s all you have to say?” Teresa teased. “Oh?”

“What do you want me to say?” You questioned as you plucked another chip. “He’s here. And?”

“You worked with him right? At his firm?” Diego  asked. “I heard he was a real ball buster. In and out of the office.”

You nodded and took another sip of your beer, hoping against hope that the subject would soon change. 

 “What was he like?” Teresa questioned wistfully. “I wouldn’t be able to get anything done at all. I’d be on my knees, serving him in more ways than one.”

“Right? I would let him teach me a thing or two after hours,” Elody laughed in agreement.

You bristled at the idea. “I guess I can kind of see the attraction. Asshole fired me—“

“Kind of? He is gorgeous! We should invite him to sit with us.” 

“What?” You nearly screeched. All eyes at the table turned to you and you felt yourself flush again, but this time out of embarrassment. “It’s weird,” you clarified. “He’s a teacher, we’re students…”

Being in a secret relationship was tough.

None of your friends knew of the explicit relationship you were engaged in with Bryan - or as they knew him, Professor Kneef.

“And he’s an adult. We are adults. I wanted to order mozzarella sticks anyway,” Elody replied, ignoring your comment. “I’ll ask- worse, he says no.”

You watched as Elody made her way through the crowd and to the bar. She tapped Bryan on the shoulder and you saw her ask him. She pointed back to the table and when Bryan’s eyes met yours, you turned your face, focusing on your drink once more.

You knew you couldn’t come clean and admit to people that you and him were in a relationship. At least not yet. No, that was not the part that you struggled with.

You wanted no more than to stay in bed all day with Bryan - just fucking and cuddling, rest and repeat. School got in the way of that.

In class, you’d catch Bryan staring at you from his desk during exams. You would purposefully try nibbling the end of the pen, in an attempt to act seductive. If it worked, he didn’t let on. If you ran into Bryan on campus with classmates, he would deliberately brush against you, causing you to jump in response. Other times in class or during office hours, you would purposefully wear something a bit more revealing and bend forward ever so slightly, squeezing your cleavage together as you sat down, giving Bryan an even better view. And when he rolled up his sleeves in class or came in just slightly more causal than usual, you knew he had done for it you.

Moments later, you heard Elody’s cheerful voice through the loud music. “Look who wants to join us!”

You looked up at Bryan and he gave a friendly smile to all. When he turned to you, his demeanor was downright smug. “Hope you don’t mind.” He was eating the whole situation up.

“Not at all, Professor Kneef,” someone replied. You turned back to stare at your beer, wanting nothing more than the ground to open and swallow you whole. 

Bryan slid into the booth, sitting next to you. There you were - smack in the middle between Bryan and the wall. You couldn’t go anywhere. The scent of his cologne did things to you and you squirmed in your seat. Bryan squeezed your knee.

“What’s your poison, professor?” Diego questioned. 

“Scotch, neat,” Bryan replied. He raised his glass. “To the end of the semester.”

Everyone cheered and clinked their glasses.

Your breath hitched as you felt Bryan’s hand brush against your thigh. As if that wasn’t enough, you decided to take a sip of your beer at the exact moment his hand made its way to your crotch, cupping through the denim of your pants. 

You coughed, spewing some beer. You apologized to the table as you grabbed a handful of napkins.  As you cleaned up, you glanced in his direction. If Bryan noticed, he didn’t let on. Rather he was engaged in a conversation with Diego. You found yourself inwardly panicking but also incredibly turned on by Bryan’s secret touches. 

“I need to use the restroom,” you announced loudly to no one in particular. “Excuse me. 

“Actually, I have to get going myself,” Bryan replied. “I am meeting a colleague here and she should be here soon.”

Your head whipped at him at the comment. “Oh?”

“You remember Nancy Crozier.” 

You squinted your eyes and racked your brain. Nancy was blonde, blue eyed, too thin, too pretty and very charming. 

“Yeah, I do,” you replied quickly, grabbing your purse. “Excuse me, I do really need to go.”

Apparently Bryan wasn’t as busy as he told you. At least, not for Nancy.

You turned into the crowd, pushing your way through. You were upset that you were upset - jealous, really. Nancy was a formidable attorney who went toe to toe with STR frequently. She used her looks and feigned naivety to gain sympathy from the judge and have them rule in her favor. 

And deep down, if you had to admit it, you always compared yourself to the bevy of women Bryan had on rotation back when you both worked together. And it wasn’t as if your friends were the only ones who noticed Bryan’s handsomeness. You heard the whispers from others on campus as well. And there was always a line for office hours. Many times you felt as if you were living out that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where all the female students fawned over Dr. Jones. 

You could feel Bryan’s eyes boring on you as you walked away. Your throat tightened and tears threatened to spill. Instead of turning left towards the bathroom, you kept true until you hit the back entrance which led out to the bar’s courtyard. You took a deep breath as you stepped out into the cool fresh air. To your surprise, no one was outside. You leaned against the exposed brick and closed your eyes. You chewed your lip and tried to think of reasons as to why you had to go home. You figured you could just text the group when you realized that there was no back exit. The fence was a bit too high but you debated hopping over it anyway. 

You let out an irritated sigh as you turned around, and walked right into a solid chest. 

You began to apologize when you realized it was Bryan.

“This doesn’t look like the bathroom.”

“I— um, what are you doing here?” You scanned behind him, hoping no one was watching.

Bryan grabbed your wrist and dragged you into one of the covered cabanas. There was a small sign hanging on the cabana and Bryan flipped it around to indicate it was ‘reserved.’

“Wha—“ you began, but Bryan interrupted you by pulling you tightly against him and capturing your mouth with his. You instantly sagged in his arms, as his lips pressed against yours, his tongue rolling against yours. You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him even closer, if that was at all possible. His mouth moved to your neck, nipping and sucking. You couldn’t hold back the moan that bubbled from within.

“So glad this semester is over. I’ve missed you so much,” Bryan growled as his hands roamed over each and every curve and plane of your body. He pressed into you and his length was hard against your stomach. “Can’t you tell?”

“Here?” You ask, the word broken up by the hitch in your breathing as his hands keep moving. Thoughts of Nancy and the other women faded away. 

“Of course here,” Bryan growled. “Are you worried someone might see?”

You moaned, a surprising sound that caught you off guard. Weren’t you worried about someone seeing you only a moment ago? Bryan’s hands are on the waistband of your jeans and your pussy throbbed in response.  Weren't you just thinking it wouldn’t matter at all if anyone saw?

“I—“

There was a fleeting thought that perhaps you’d want them to see. Show everyone and then some who Bryan Kneef really wanted. 

“I don’t care,” Bryan growled. That comment alone made your heart flutter. His hands made way to the front of your jeans and he nimbly undid the button and fly before shoving his large hand down your panties. 

Bryan let out a dark chuckle. “So wet for me. Is this turning you on?”

It was torture, plain as day, having Bryan’s skilled fingers down your jeans and in between your thighs. You let out a whimper as he turned his wrist so that the heel of his hand was pressed against your clit.

Bryan sensed you holding back, desperate not to make a sound. He slid two fingers deep inside of you. You keened wordlessly into his shoulder, biting down on his shoulder to suppress a moan. You can hear the mingling sounds of other patrons who had made their way outside. They were chatting away, blissfully unaware that you were getting finger-fucked. 

And anyone could walk in at that moment.

Bryan pushed the heel of his palm flush against your clit and ground it hard. 

“You really are beautiful,” Bryan murmured in your ear. “Making you come is my favorite thing to do.”

You jolted your head, staring at him with wide eyes. Your chest was heaving, your lips swollen from kissing. A small sweat had broken along your skin. 

Bryan ducked his head once more. But he didn’t kiss you, instead just breathing against your mouth, lips barely brushing. Every nerve in your body was electric. You felt warmth bloom throughout your body as the pressure caused you to explode, coming against his hand, your arousal dripping down his hand. Bryan swallowed your sounds with another kiss as he massaged the last ebbs of your climax with the tips of his fingers against your clit and you can’t help but come again. “Just like that,” he cooed. “Such a good, good girl.” 

You remained all starry eyed and in a daze as he removed his hand. With his other hand he tilted your chin up to meet his gaze as he took his fingers and placed them in his mouth, sucking them quickly. His eyes were twinkling as he pulled them out with a satisfying pop.

“Delicious.”

You watched silently as he fixed your jeans, re-buttoning and zipping the fly. His fingers, still wet with his saliva, traced the dark mark he had left on your neck. 

“Beautiful,” Bryan murmured. He pulled you into an embrace once more, his lips pressing gently against yours. The hairs of his beard tickled you ever so slightly. Your brain was empty, completely blissed out. 

There was a buzzing sound and Bryan looked at his phone “Oh, Nancy is here. I have to go back in. Tell your friends I covered their tab. I’ll text you later sweetheart.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but Bryan had already made his way out. After a moment, you collected yourself again and made your way back into the bar.

As you sat back down, your friends looked at your curiously.

“You okay? You look flush and you were gone for awhile,” Elody questioned, her brows furrowed. Her face was etched with concern.

You shook your head and waved your hand. “There was a line, like usual. But on my way back, I ran into Professor Kneef and he said he paid our tab.”

“Is that a hickey on your neck?”

“What?” you asked alarmed, slapping your hand over your neck.

“Yeah, did you have that before?” 

“Uh, you’re seeing things,” you sputtered. “You’ve had too much to drink.”

There was a cacophony of glass shattering sounds - followed by raucous cheering and applause. You took advantage of the opportunity to slide out of your seat. 

“Catch you later,” you shouted to no one in particular. 

You made your way through the crowd, and as soon as you got closer to the door, you spotted Bryan and Nancy. Your eyes met his and you felt your cheeks burn as he winked at you. 

Outside, you took out your phone, and ordered a cab. As you waited,  you texted Bryan. “I don’t want to go home all by myself. I’ll be all by my lonesome.”

The car hadn’t even left the parking lot when you got a message from Bryan.

“On my way - leave your door unlocked.”

FIN. 

AN2: I tried tagging folks but tumblr is being dumb.

Tags: @madpanda75 @beccabarba @melk917 @averyhotchner @qvid-pro-qvo @sass-and-suspenders @detective-giggles @detectivebarba @ottosuricato @plaidbooks @witches-unruly-heart @wanniiieeee @tintinxtintin @mrsrafaelbarba @mrsraulesparza @i-justreally-like-cats-okay @glimmerglittergirl @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindos @storiesofsvu @madamsnape921 @zoeykaytesmom @greeneyedblondie44 @alwaysachorusgirl @amelia-song-pond @annabelleb49 @gibbs274 @glimmerglittergirl @imjustreallynosy

[write-now-ggs]

IU (Soloist)

Wc - 19,200 Video

"Love Poem"

"Love Poem"

As the quiet buzz from the air conditioner hummed in the background you were lost in complete thought as your lovely girlfriend delicately traced her finger tips over your inked skin. The two of you were enjoying each other's presence before you had to leave in a few hours for her work schedule. While you were lost in your mind enjoying the feeling of her on your skin, she was scrolling through her phone. You didn’t even have to look over to know that she was reading comments on your shared social media page. 

When it came to said shared social media page, it was all Jieun’s idea. It felt strange considering she was probably one of the most recognizable figures in the entertainment industry but when it came to something she wanted you just couldn’t say no to her. She had proposed the idea of starting the account over two years ago because as she stated, she wanted a place to record the moments of your relationship. At first when she initially brought the idea up you were completely against it, you were worried that someone would find out who she was and that her public image would be ruined because she was dating you. 

Luckily throughout the lifespan of the account no one has figured out who she was thanks to how surprisingly well she was at disguising herself. You yourself had nothing to hide from the public so you were now unofficially officially the face of the account meanwhile Jieun was the real mastermind behind it. With every picture she took and uploaded she wrote a loving caption to go along with it, all the words that were posted all came from her heart and from the feelings she strongly felt about you. Anyone that stumbled across the account could quickly understand how much this woman loved you and how much she loved to write about you. Oh but just what would happen if those same people realized that the same woman that wrote these loving paragraphs about her girlfriend on social media was the same woman, that dedicated many songs to the same girl, had many hit songs that were constantly reaching the top of the music charts all over the country..? 

The account had managed to amass a pretty huge following for it just being a couple’s public love diary, the attention you had garnered from the account had made you feel a bit uneasy. Your experience with social media before meeting Jieun was that it was a place to keep up with family and friends who you hadn’t seen in a while. You never expected to have thousands of people all over the world waiting on the newest picture from your girlfriend. 

When you first started dating Jieun she had tried her best to explain everything about her lifestyle and career to you but that was much different than living it yourself. You were fine at first with supporting your girlfriend  being in the spotlight, but now that you were thrown under one as well, albeit a much smaller spotlight, you couldn't help but feel some uneasiness in life. You were fine with living an ordinary life and working an ordinary job but now you had to deal with the whole new territory that came with social media. You didn’t consider yourself a social media figure in the slightest but you did have to deal with occasionally getting offers from different companies to sign a contract under them. While you hadn’t done that, you, well more like jieun, had accepted a few small gigs for some modeling content. Your most recent gig was for an online shopping mall that Jieun had often frequented, she had snatched that deal for you in an instant. 

But well I guess all this came with dating the woman that made your heart leap out of your chest everytime she looked at you. You would do anything for her and if that meant having to deal with random fangirls commenting about their favorite imaginary “ships” under your post then so be it. It didn’t seem to bother Jieun so you just rolled with it, even when people would comment big names in the industry as being the second half of the relationship in the pictures. You had felt almost flattered that these random people thought you could be in a relationship with all the names in the comments but still, no one was more perfect for you than Jieun. She was the only person that existed in your eyes. 

It wasn’t until Jieun had started uploading videos of you a few months ago that the comments really started to ramp up on the guessing game of who Jieun was. The videos usually just consisted of her poking or annoying you in some sort of fashion throughout the day with your account's signature black and white filter slapped over it. The videos were really nothing extraordinary that would reveal who Jieun was. Well that was up until she uploaded a video where she was laughing in the background. Soon the comments were filled with people saying she laughed just like “Iu”. When you saw that you instantly panicked and you told her to take the video down. Jieun being the voice of reason had told you that taking the video down would only seem more suspicious and to just give it time, people would soon forget about it. You hated to admit defeat but she was right, soon the comments were filled with other people’s names.

Luckily for the both of you, Jieun’s entertainment company already knew about the account and they were completely behind Jieun. If anything were to happen they were prepared with statements for that situation.

“Don’t move…” Her voice was quiet as it broke into your deep thoughts.

“Hmm, okay..” You hummed in response as you did what she said, which was nothing. You stayed still for her.

You heard her phone’s camera make a noise followed by a satisfied hum from her.

“Am I good to move now..?” You spoke without moving your mouth to emphasize your dedication to not moving for her.

She let out a soft laugh, “Yeah you’re free to move now, silly.” She planted a kiss on your cheek before moving back to finish whatever it was she was doing on her phone.

You leaned over to look at what was keeping her occupied, “What are you up to..?” You saw a picture of your new tattoo on her phone as she typed in a caption. 

“I just thought it would be nice to update everyone on your new art piece.” She looked up at you with the sweetest smile. 

“Ahh I see, you better add in there that you helped me settle on this design.” You looked down at your left wrist where your newest addition to your tattoos sat. It was nothing crazy, just a simple outline of all the continents. 

“I did, and…. Posted.” She smiled as she waited for the influx of comments to hit. 

You watched her from where you were sitting, just adoring the way the light of her phone settled on her face, accentuating all the features you loved about her.

“Oh wow, they really like it. Told you it went really well with your other wrist.” She looked over at you before pointing at the tattoo you had on said wrist, it was a heart that had a simple airplane completing the outline of the heart on the right side. 

“Yeah, you’re always right.” You smiled as you thought about both tattoos. You had gotten the heart a few years before meeting her and now with the irony of dating someone who traveled all over the world to perform sold out shows it couldn’t have been any more perfect. You had originally gotten it because when you were a bit younger, you had a job that had you traveling to different countries all the time. 

Jieun let out a small sigh as she leaned her head on your shoulder, “I want one so bad.”

“Easy, then get one.” You leaned your head against hers. 

“No, you know it’s not that easy for me to just go out and get one.” 

“Hmm, why not..? Plenty of people in the music industry have them.” You spoke in genuine confusion.

“But those artists are different than I am. I have a certain image to uphold. You know this.” She closed her eyes as she spoke to you.

“I know that Jieun, but that shouldn’t stop you from doing something you want. You could always just get a small one somewhere people won't see it.” You paused for a minute before smiling, “Well not too small to where it would look like a little mole.” 

Jieun let out a small chuckle before lightly hitting your arm, “I hate you.” 

“Haha I love you too.”

The two of you sat in comfortable silence before Jieun checked the time on her phone. “Hmm we should start getting ready now, he’ll be here soon.” 

“Oh, sounds good.” 

_

“Are you finished getting dressed..?” You heard her ask as soon as the shower turned off. 

“Yeah, I’m good to go.” You sat on your bed as you waited for her to finish up in the bathroom. 

A few seconds later she walked out with a towel wrapped around herself and another one wrapped around her hair. She stared at what you were wearing before humming to herself.

“What’s wrong..? Do I look bad..?”

“No, far from that. It’s just I have something else I want you to wear.” She walked over to your shared closet and you followed right behind her. She looked around for a bit before finding what it was that she had in mind. “Here it is, try this on instead.” She handed you the piece of clothing before walking out and back to the bathroom.

You did as she said, slipping your other shirt off and putting on the one she gave you. “Oh wow..” You looked at yourself in the mirror and noted the way this shirt exposed your shoulders. 

After a few more minutes Jieun had walked back out of the bathroom in her sweatpants and a random sweater she probably stole from your side of the closet. “Nice, that looks way better than I expected.” She smiled happily like a little girl with a crush. 

“It’s nice, where’d you get it from..?” 

“Oh, you remember that photoshoot you had last week for my favorite online mall..?” 

“Uhm, yeah. Why?” You tilted your head to the side when you couldn’t figure out why she brought that up since she couldn’t go with you to the shoot.

“Well you remember how you took Hanteo with you?” (Her manager) 

“Yeah, you didn’t want me going by myself.” You looked to the side as you tried remembering everything. 

“Well while you were in the middle of shooting, I video called him and he took me on a virtual tour of the set. Then in the back I saw this shirt and I knew it would look beautiful on you. So I had him ask around to see if he could buy the shirt from them. We kept it a secret haha.” She ran her fingers on the fabric of the shirt.

“Oh wow.” You looked down with a lovestruck smile, “Hmm, well why this shirt specifically for today..? You could’ve kept this hidden until we had dinner out together.” 

“Well if you must know, it's because I want to be able to see this whenever I look into the audience today.” She pointed to the tattoo of a paper plane you had on your right shoulder. 

“Oh, I see. Well if it makes my princess happy then I love it. Thank you for the shirt.” You planted a gentle kiss on her lips before pulling away to smile at her. 

Her face immediately flushed red, “Okay let’s go before you make it impossible for me to leave.” She grabbed your hand before pulling you around to the front door. 

You were giggling the entire time she was dragging you to the front door. You put your shoes on then helped her with hers. You both walked out once you had everything you needed. 

Her manager had greeted the both of you when you got into the car.

“Are you ready for today..?” He asked Jieun as he pulled out of your driveway.

“Of course, I always am.” Jieun smiled when you reached to hold her hand in her lap.

“Okay good, well get comfortable the traffic is going to make it a headache to get there.” Hanteo gave the two of you one last smile before looking ahead as he pulled into the road.

The ride to the venue did indeed take longer than you were expecting, luckily you spent the whole trip joking around with Jieun. She kept taking pictures of you from the most random angles while you kept trying to snatch her phone from her hands to take some of her as well. 

After pulling into the back of the venue her manager turned around to tell the two of you that you made it.

“Thank you Hanteo, we appreciate the ride.” You told him before opening your door and holding it so Jieun could step out.

“Of course, that’s what I’m here for.” He stepped out of his own door before walking around the front of the car to take a stack of papers he had in the passenger seat. “I have to go hand these out real quick but you two feel free to head inside.”

“Okay, we’ll see you later then!” Jieun smiled at him before grabbing your hand so you could walk inside together.

“What were those for..?” You asked Jieun about the papers Hanteo had.

“Oh it’s about today's schedule for the show, he has to hand them out to everyone. His email wasn’t working all week so he just decided to physically hand them out. You know how hard headed he is when things don’t work like normal.” 

“Ah I see,” You reached out to open the door to the venue, “After you.” Jieun stepped through the door first and you quickly followed behind her. 

You both walked towards her dressing room, hand in hand, as she told you what she looked forward to the most tonight.

When you both made it to her dressing room she sat in the chair left out for her in front of her makeup station, and you went and sat on the counter near her. You took a few seconds to admire the way she looked at herself in the mirror. When she finally noticed you looking at her in silence she couldn’t help but smile. 

“Why are you looking at me like that..?” She asked you as she looked to see if anyone was around. 

“Like what..?” You smiled at her as your head tilted to the side. 

Her face completely flushed red as she used her hands to cover it. “Like that, stop it.” 

You couldn’t help the laugh that her actions gave you. “Jieun, my love, you’re going to have hundreds of people staring at you in a few hours, what’s the big deal with me just admiring you for a few seconds..?”

“Okay but that’s different, all those eyes don’t even come close in comparison to yours.” She peeked through her fingers to look at you before squealing and closing her eyes shut when she saw you moved to stand near her. 

“Haha so cute…” You leaned down to whisper in her ear, “These eyes have also seen more of you than all those people combined.” You kissed the top of her head before moving to sit back on the counter you were originally relaxing on. 

Jieun removed her hands from her face to look at you in complete shock, her face was as red as a ruby as she stumbled over her words, “Huh.. wha- why would you say that…?” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction, “What’s wrong..?” You plastered an innocent look on your face as you watched the way she reacted to your actions. 

She was unable to say anything else as her crew walked into the dressing room, all of them engulfed in their own conversations. 

“Oh,” The lead make-up artist looked at Jieun’s face in confusion before turning to look over at you. “Are we interrupting something here..?”

You couldn’t help but laugh as Jieun’s face only got more red with embarrassment. “Haha no no, you didn’t. We were just talking.” Your head tilted to the side as you thought about your actions, “Hmm well more like I was admiring my beautiful girlfriend from all the way over here and she was getting flustered by my amazing compliments.” You plastered that same innocent face from earlier as all Jieun could do was shoot daggers at you with her eyes. Oh those beautiful eyes of hers. 

“Ahh I see, well sadly I’m going to have to ask you to refrain from making her flustered. The red on her face is not going to make this easy on us.” The lead make-up artist joked with you, she often worked with Jieun on many projects so the three of you were pretty well acquainted. 

“My bad, my bad, I’ll try to hold myself back. It’s not my fault that this woman gets easily embarrassed when it comes to me complimenting her even though we’ve been dating for almost five years now.” You rolled your eyes in a playful manner at her. 

Jieun was still glaring at you as she crossed her arms over her chest, “Mmm compliments… sure if that’s what you want to call that…” She mumbled to herself as she held her own little huff and puff party. 

“Oh, is that a new piece..?” The lead make-up artist asked when she walked up to where you were sitting to get some of her equipment, referencing your new tattoo. 

“Oh this,” You held your wrist out to her so she could get a better look at the artwork on it, “It is new, Jieun helped me pick it out.” 

“ooh she did..?” She examined the tattoo before looking over at Jieun, “Well she certainly has a good eye haha.” 

Jieun’s eyes darkened as she looked you in the eyes, “Yeah I do have great taste, thanks for noticing.” 

You met her eyes before laughing to yourself, “Anyways, I’m going to go see what outfit they have prepared for you.” You hopped off the counter and walked over to where she was sitting, “I’ll be back in a little bit.” You planted a soft kiss on her cheek, “You look so beautiful.” You walked away so she could get her makeup done. 

“Ugh the two of you are so perfect for each other it makes me sick.” Jieun’s lead make-up artist said as she placed everything she needed in front of her. 

“Haha, thank you for the compliment I suppose..?” Jieun spoke her response in a questioning tone as she didn’t know if she meant what she said as a compliment. 

“It is a compliment, I promise.” She started to pull Jieun’s hair out of her face before she got started on her perfected craft, “When are the two of you going to finally tie the knot..?” She asked as she finished clipping Jieun’s hair back.

“What..? Well uh, I’m not sure haha.” Jieun once again couldn’t help but get flustered at the question. 

“Wait, she still hasn’t asked the question yet??” She asked Jieun in shock.

“No she hasn’t, why has she said anything about it..?” Jieun looked up at her with all the concentration in the world. 

“Hmm no she hasn't, but I just figured she would have proposed already. I mean the two of you act like you’re already married anyways haha.” 

Jieun looked down at her ring finger on her left hand, “Maybe someday…” 

With Jieun thinking about your future together, you were busy bothering her main stylist about the outfit she was supposed to wear for the event. 

“This is what she’s wearing..? Wow, are you trying to give everyone in the crowd a nosebleed..?” You looked at the beautiful sundress that was hanging on the clothing rack in front of you. 

“You know not everyone in that crowd has as big of a crush on your girlfriend as you do, right..?” Jieun’s main stylist grabbed the dress off of the clothing rack so she could bring it to Jieun’s dressing room, with you following right behind her. 

“Well that doesn’t matter, Jieun herself is just too beautiful for this world so putting that dress on her would give just about anyone a nosebleed.” You answered in a “matter of fact” tone as you tried to keep up with her pace. 

“Listen, all that matters is that this dress fits the theme of her album so we’re sticking with it. If she causes a national uproar in reported nose bleeds then that will be PR’s problem, not mine.” She opened up the door to Jieun’s dressing room so she could walk over and show her what the outfit choice for the event was. 

And with her response you were silenced as you shuffled into Jieun’s dressing room passing by all the new interns working with the hair and makeup crew. 

Jieun was engulfed in conversation with her main stylist as she showed her the dress while Jieun was getting her makeup done. You just observed them all from the back of her dressing room as you didn’t want to get in the way. 

“Oh, excuse me, can I just grab that real quick.” One of the interns you passed by earlier was standing in front of you with a nervous look on her face. 

“Hmm? Oh I’m sorry.” You quickly moved out of the way when you could see how overwhelmed the young girl looked. “Are you okay..?”

“What..?” The young girl looked up at you once she finally grabbed what it was that she needed. “Oh yeah I’m fine haha, I just have to hurry or I’ll get in trouble.” The girl waved the object in her hand at you before scurrying on. 

You stared at where the girl was standing before deciding to go and find her, stopping to grab a water bottle along the way. You hadn’t realized that Jieun had watched your entire interaction through the mirror as all you had in mind was helping out the poor brand new intern. 

It didn’t take long before you saw the young girl scurrying back towards Jieun’s dressing room with a new object in hand. You moved in front of her to get her to stop walking. 

“Oh sorry, excuse me.” She stepped to the side to walk past you but then she looked up at you in shock when you moved over as well to stop her again.

“Hey, stop.” You smiled at the young girl, “Take a break.” You reached for the object in her hand before replacing it with the water bottle you had in your hand. “Slow down young one, don’t overwork yourself. I can take this for you, please catch your breath and relax for a little bit.”

“Huh..?” The girl looked up at you with the biggest eyes that quickly seemed to water up. 

“I’m assuming you were bringing this to Yeonha..?” You were able to assume that this was going to Jieun’s make-up artist given the items. 

“Oh yes, she had asked me to hurry with those brushes.” The young girl answered you with reddened cheeks. 

“Okay well I can take them to her for you, please go catch your breath and relax, there’s plenty of time.” You had been to many of Jieun’s work events to know that Yeonha was a rusher when it came to getting everything done even when she would have plenty of time. 

“Thank you so much.” The young girl slightly bowed her head at you before blinking away at the tears that began to form in her eyes. 

“Haha it’s no problem, I know how Yeonha can be, trust me you won’t be this stressed out all the time.” You smiled at the girl before turning away, you held the object in the air waving it slightly. “I’ll get this to her, enjoy your break.” 

The young girl just stared at you in amusement as you disappeared down the hall. 

You walked up to Jieun and her make-up artist, handing her the object you had in hand. 

“Hey, Yeonha, you need to go easier on the interns.” 

“Huh?” She looked at what you had in your hands in shock, “Where did you get that..?” 

“I got it from that poor girl you have running in laps down the hallway, she looked burnt out so I told her I would bring this to you and that she could take a well deserved break.” You shrugged your shoulders before placing the object down in front of Jieun on the make up counter. 

“Oh uh, thank you.” She looked between you and Jieun, unsure of what to say.

“It’s all good, just try to take it easy on her, interns aren’t used to everything yet, just try and ease them into it.” You gave her a small smile before looking down at Jieun. “I’m going to go ahead and walk out to my seat so you can finish getting ready.”

“Huh? Wait..” Jieun held onto your hand so she could get up from her seat, “Don’t forget this.” She walked away to grab something before coming back with one of her albums. “Gotta fit the part.” She smiled at you before placing it in your hands. 

“Ah right, is this one of your special editions..?” You asked with a joking smile since you knew that Jieun loved writing you random messages and doodles in the albums that she gave you.

“Of course it is.” She let out a small giggle before pulling you into a small kiss. “I’ll see you out there in a bit, just try not to look like you’re too in love with me.” 

It was your turn to laugh at her before leaning in to whisper into her ear, “Why, do I make it hard for you to hold back..?” 

Jieun pulled away to glare at you, “Shut up before I kick you out.” 

You let out a bigger laugh, “Haha well I didn’t hear a no.” You gave her lips a small peck, where you would’ve opted for her cheek but due to her make-up being done you wanted to be nice to Yeonha, “Well, I’ll see you out there Miss IU.” You sent her a wink as you said her stage name before walking out of her dressing room. 

“Ugh that girl…” Jieun stared at you as you walked away with a dumb grin on her face. 

“Okay love bird get over here so we can finish your make-up.” Yeonha put her hands on Jieun’s shoulders so she could turn her towards her seat. 

_

You walked around the venue for a bit to see if anyone needed a hand with setting anything up before walking to the seat that Jieun picked out for you. You had just gotten done helping the stage crew bring out some decorations for her first performance so now you sat down bored as you waited for the doors to open to the public. 

You figured now was as good a time as ever to look through her new album. You had seen everything from a behind the scene’s perspective so being able to see the final product in front of you was awesome. No matter how many releases you’ve been by Jieun’s side for, you would never get tired of unboxing the newest product of her hard work. You flipped through every single page slowly to admire all the pictures of her and all of her scribbled notes directed towards you. The smile on your face looked like it would never disappear as you flipped through the pages. 

“Oh,” You got to the end of the pages and were now reading her album’s dedication section. “This is a note to the person who is there for me everyday and night no matter what. Whenever I feel lost they’re always there to reassure me that I am on the correct path. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, even the things you don’t know that you helped me with, I hope to one day properly repay your kindness.”

You didn’t notice the way your eyes welled up with tears until you blinked. “This girl.” You smiled as you ran your finger down the page before closing the photobook. 

A few moments later you could hear the sound of people walking in and talking, you looked up to see a line of fans walking into the venue, many of which were carrying huge cameras. You were able to pick up on some familiar faces in the crowd since they would frequent many of your girlfriends events. The rows began to fill up and soon so was your own row. The seat next to you was now occupied by a talkative fan who hadn’t stopped talking about Jieun’s latest album to the girl next to her. 

“Hey, I like your tattoos, they’re pretty.” 

It took you a minute to register the fact that the hyper fan was talking to you, “Oh thank you so much.” You sent the girl a small smile before looking at your phone. 

Jieun had sent you a message so you quickly checked it and made sure no one around could see the contents. “I’ll see you in five minutes.” She attached a photo of her in the dress you saw earlier and you swore that she was the most beautiful woman in the world. 

“Oh, that dress is dangerous.” You replied to her message before putting your phone away.

After a while of waiting in silence a very familiar figure appeared on the stage in front of you and the once quiet room was now filled with loud cheers. After waving at everyone in the crowd she began to perform the first song on her short set-list. 

Unlike everyone else in the crowd you enjoyed her performance without recording anything and you just made yourself comfortable in your seat as Jieun sang to the crowded room. Before meeting Jieun you had only been to a small handful of concerts but none to any artist you were really into, just some random pop up events that your friends would drag you to, but now here you were at what felt like your millionth performance of Jieun’s. You enjoyed every single one of her performances like it was your first time watching her sing. 

She made it through the rest of her set-list without a problem and then everyone watched as the staff brought out a table and a chair. Jieun had her microphone in her hand so she talked to the crowd as she stood at the edge of the stage. 

“Haha did you all like the songs..?” She listened to the crowd cheer in response, “Well I am glad, I’ve been working on this album for the better part of a year now.” The crowd cheered again and everyone watched as she went to take a seat in the chair behind the table. 

The staff of tonight's event soon started to direct the different rows into a line so they could walk up and get their albums signed. You watched in amusement at how she smiled at everyone that stood across from her and the way she easily made small talk with everyone. 

The first two rows on the right side of the room were nearing the end of their turn on stage so now it was your row’s turn to line up. You were always surprised by how well behaved her fans were when it came to events like this. When she first told you about her career and work events you expected everything to be hectic, but to your surprise it was quite the opposite.

You couldn’t hide the smile on your face as you heard the girl in front of you fangirl to her friend ahead of her. You enjoyed hearing the different things all of her fans had to say about her every time you were near them, it was like you were learning a new fun fact about her every event.  

It was now your turn to get your album signed so you walked past all the familiar faces of her staff before placing your previously vandalized album on the table in front of Jieun. 

“Hey stranger,” You sent her a soft smile as your eyes took in her beautiful appearance from up close, “You look gorgeous.”

Jieun’s cheeks flushed a light shade of pink as she listened to your compliment, “Thank you.” She avoided looking you in the eyes as she opted to look down at your album so she could sign it. 

“A lot of people showed up today, were you nervous..?” You asked as you watched her flick through the pages to find an empty one to write a note.

Jieun shook her head before landing on the one page she left free from her graffiti, “Not really, most of the faces in the crowd are pretty familiar by now.” She closed up your album before sliding it across the table to you with a beautiful smile. 

“Ahh I see.” You picked up the album and you returned her an identical smile, “Well I have to go back to my seat now but just a quick tip. Try no to look too in love with me, you’re making it pretty obvious.” 

Jieun rolled her eyes at the cocky grin on your face before plastering a fake smile on her face, “You’re so lucky I love you.” She spoke through her teeth as she waved at you like you were any other fan in the crowd.

You let out a small chuckle, “Hell yeah I am.” You gave her one last smile before walking along the stage. You could feel her eyes on you as you made your way to your seat. Well what you didn’t know was that there were other eyes on you as your familiar face started to make sense to some of the people in the crowd. 

You sat down with your girlfriend's album in your lap and a dumb smile on your face as you watched her from your seat. 

You were zoned out, lost in your own thoughts, up until you felt someone lightly tap on your shoulder. You looked down in surprise when you were met with the eyes of the girl who was seated next to you. 

“Oh, yes..?” You straightened your posture as you waited for the girl to speak to you.

“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you but I just had a quick question to ask you. Would you mind..?” The young girl asked you for permission as her friend peeked over her shoulder. 

“Huh..? Oh sure, go ahead.” You didn’t take any concern with her request as you figured she was probably going to ask you to take a picture of her and her friend. You got these requests pretty often at Jieun’s events. 

“Okay well my friend and I couldn’t help but notice how familiar your tattoos looked so we just wanted to ask if this was you..? You don’t have to answer if you’re uncomfortable, it’s just that both of us are fans of your account.” The girl was holding her phone out towards you with a picture of you and Jieun in it, well your face was the only one anyone could see anyways. 

“Oh uh,” You looked at her phone then back up at the girl's face before looking over at Jieun on stage then back at the phone. You were racking your brain for answers to give the girl, what would Jieun do in your place..? “Yeah that’s me.” You rubbed the back of your neck as you didn’t know what to expect next. 

The two girls looked at each other and shared a gasp once you admitted to being the one in the picture. 

“Oh my god that’s so awesome, can we please get a picture with you..?” The girl's friend asked you.

“Huh..?” You were super confused as to what you were supposed to do, you had never been recognized in public before so for this to happen at one of Jieun’s events was mind numbing. 

“You know, like a picture..?” The first girl said as she made a picture taking motion with her hand. “I’m telling you we’re both big fans of your account.” 

“Oh uhm, sure. Sorry I’m not used to this.” You admitted to the two girls as you let out a shy laugh, “And for the record that account is all my girlfriends work, I don’t want to take any of the credit for it.” 

“Oh my god that’s so cute, I can’t.” The girl opened up the camera app on her phone and then you were standing with each girl on either side of you. “Smile.” The girl said as she took a few pictures. 

“Are they okay..?” You asked her as she checked the pictures. 

“Yes they’re great, thank you so much.” The girl showed her friend the pictures before they both moved to sit back down in their seats. 

You followed along, sitting back down in your own seat, with a bright blush of embarrassment on your cheeks. You let out a small breath as you thought they were done talking to you, but you were quickly mistaken.

“So where is your girlfriend..? Is she here with you..?” The girl asked you as she looked around the venue. 

“Uh well something like that..” You mumbled quietly before shaking your head, “Oh no actually, she’s working today. Uhm she’s a big fan of Ji-” You paused and blinked a few times, “IU, she’s a big IU fan.” You smiled in a way to convince not only the girls but also yourself of your little white lie.

“Awe so you’re here to get her a signed album from her favorite artist..? That’s so cute, the two of you are such couple goals.” The girl and her friend shared a squeal. 

“Haha yeah…” You wiped away some sweat that had built up on your forehead. 

“I know this is going to sound like we’re crossing a line, but can you show us what she looks like..? You don’t know how curious we are.” The girl’s friend asked you. “The two of you just make the cutest couple, even if we’ve never seen her face, just from the words she writes about you we can tell that she is beautiful.” 

“Oh I’m sorry.” You slightly bowed your head to the two girls, “I can’t do that. My uh girlfriend is just really private.” 

“Oh but you said she runs the account, no..?”

“She does, it’s just that if her workplace see’s that she’s dating a woman uhm she can get fired.” That sounded believable right? You asked yourself. 

“Ohhhh.” Both the girl and her friend said at the same time. 

“That makes so much sense, I’m sorry for bugging you over that.” The girl offered you a sincere apology, “Well thank you for taking the time out of your day to talk to us.” The girl smiled at you before the both of them went back to talking to each other. 

“Oh my god..” You buried your face in your hands as you tried to calm yourself down from having a panic attack. 

Once you had managed to calm your breathing down you lifted your head to look up at the ceiling, counting to ten slowly as you breathed in and out. When you finally looked forward, your worried face quickly caught Jieun’s attention. 

“Are you okay..?” She mouthed to you in a subtle way. 

You gave her a slight nod before mouthing back to her, “Later..”

She sent you back a small but subtle nod before turning her attention back to her fans on stage. 

The rest of the event went on fine, but you felt like you couldn’t enjoy it with the big knot that your stomach was now in. You kept catching the girls next to you glancing over so you tried your best to just act like any other fan of your girlfriend but it was just so weird to you. You were sure they could see right through the act. “They know, they know, they know.” Those words repeated over and over in your head. 

Soon the venue began to empty out as Jieun had just finished performing two encore songs and she finished saying her goodbye’s to everyone. Your row was one of the last one’s to empty out as you stayed seated with your head spinning. 

The two girls that were sat next to you had thanked you once again for the picture before walking out. 

Once everyone had made their way out of the venue, you and the cleaning crew were the only people left in the empty room. You finally stood up after your many minutes of pondering thoughts. You then heard small but quick footsteps running up behind you and then you suddenly felt someone’s weight on your back. The quiet giggles quickly gave up the person’s identity. 

You couldn’t hold back your smile as you quickly put your arms around Jieun’s legs to hold her in place on your back. 

Jieun reached over to plant a small kiss on your cheek, “How was it..? How did I do tonight..?” 

You turned your head to look at her, “You did amazing, like always. Everyone in the crowd loved your songs.” 

Jieun let out a small giggle before reaching for her phone, she held it out in front of you as she captured a few pictures. She hid her face behind your hair but her beautiful smile was still visible. Once she felt like she took enough pictures, she jumped off your back and you turned around to face her. She gave you a small kiss before holding your hand in both of hers. 

“You look tired, are you okay..?” Jieun moved one of her hands to place it on your cheek. 

You leaned into her touch as you gave her a small nod, “I’m okay now.” You turned your head to plant a soft kiss on her hand. 

Jieun’s eyes were still filled with concern even after hearing your words of reassurance. “Okay well do you want to head to the back so you can tell me about what had made you look so stressed out earlier..?”

“Yeah, let me just grab my stuff.” You walked away from Jieun to grab your album and then the two of you interlocked fingers as you made your way through the venue and into the many hallways of the back.

On your walk to her dressing room you gave her a rundown of your interaction with the two girls. 

As you made it to the door of her dressing room she suddenly fell very quiet. The two of you just stood by the door in silence as it looked like Jieun was going through an internal conflict. 

Jieun finally looked back up at you, “I think I’m ready to tell everyone about us.” Her voice was very soft and quiet so it took you a minute to understand what she said. 

“What?” You looked at her in complete shock as your body froze. 

Shock, yes such a strange and bizarre emotion but your body was enveloped in it. But then a wave of relief rode over your body as you thought about how you wouldn’t have to hide the biggest secret of your life. But then fear quickly took over every inch of your body. Jieun was the love of your life. What if this decision was a huge mistake..?

_

“Oh, you dropped this.” You had picked up a phone that had slid on the floor of the bus and then proceeded to hit your shoe. You were handing it back to the girl in the seat behind you since she was the only one it could’ve belonged to. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so clumsy how could I have dropped this.” The smaller girl laughed before reaching for her phone. “Thank you so much, uhm..?” She raised her eyebrow as she gave you the hint to introduce yourself. And so you did, “Well it’s nice to meet you, my name is Jieun.” The smaller girl introduced herself as well. 

“Oh well, it’s nice to meet you, Jieun.” You held your hand out for the girl to take. 

“The feeling is mutual.” The girl gave you the brightest smile as she returned your handshake. 

You finally pulled your eyes away from her mesmerizing ones as the bus came to a stop. You looked out the window and quickly jumped up. “Oh I’m sorry, this is my stop.” You sent her an apologetic smile before grabbing your stuff to rush off the bus. 

The girl smiled before standing up as well, “Well looks like it’s mine now too.” 

_

“So I’ve given it a lot of thought since we’ve been friends for a while now but uhm.” You paused as you had to look away from her eyes, “But, did you like want to maybe, like you know..?” You made an awkward hand motion as you couldn’t figure out how to put your thoughts into words. 

“Hmm..? Like uhm what..?” Jieun teased the flustered girl that stood in front of her. 

You took a deep breath before speaking your next sentence, “Do you want to be my girlfriend..? It’s okay to say no but somewhere along our friendship I started to get romantic feelings for you and I was just hoping that they would be mutual.” Your face was completely flushed red as you tried to avoid looking Jieun in the eyes. 

Before she responded she let out a little giggle that caused you to look at her, and to your surprise she was nodding her head. “I would be honored to be your girlfriend.” 

You couldn’t believe your ears, you thought you had mistaken what you heard. Jieun then swiftly pulled you into the softest kiss of your life. There was no mistaking what she meant now. 

“Finally, it took you long enough.” Jieun said once she pulled away from your first official couple kiss. 

_

“Oh my gosh, why do you own so much crap? This is so heavy.” Jieun whined as she carried one of your boxes into her neat apartment.

“Hey to be fair you’re the one who bought me most of this stuff.” You smiled at her antics as you walked in with the heavier boxes. 

Jieun placed your box on the ground in the living room before moving to flop on the couch with a loud grunt. “Oh my,” She let out a small huff, “I don’t think I’ve ever had to…” 

Before she could continue to complain you leaned down over her on the couch and you planted a small kiss on her lips. You felt her smile before she moved her hands to hold your face in a sign of defeat. You pulled away far enough for your noses to still be touching as the both of you smiled. 

“Okay, okay I get the message loud and clear.” Jieun moved her head side to side to rub your noses together before she moved to give you another kiss. This time pulling you on top of her on the couch.

The two of you shared a sweet moment together before you moved to lay next to her on the couch. Your arm was wrapped around her waist and your face lay nuzzled in the crook of her neck. 

“Finally, I’ve had to listen to you complain since we got on the elevator.” You smiled against her neck as you heard her groan in annoyance. 

“Ugh I hate you.” She turned her body so she could face you. 

You let out a small gasp, “You hate me..? Oh no, it looks like I’m going to have to move out before I even got the chance to finish moving in.” You moved to try and get up from the couch but you were soon stopped by Jieun. 

“Don’t you dare leave me yet. At least wake me up with some breakfast in bed or something.” She wrapped her arms around you so you could lay in place with her on the couch. 

You let out a soft chuckle as you surrendered to her touch, “Okay, okay, I won’t leave.” 

_

“Hey, wake up.” You whispered in Jieun’s ear, “Jieun get up.” You placed down a plate of food on her night stand before moving your hand up to her forehead to play with her bangs.

“Hmm…” Jieun mumbled tiredly as she leaned into your touch.

“Wake up baby.” You planted a soft kiss on her forehead. 

“I love you, but if the building isn’t on fire then don’t wa- wait.” Jieun’s tired voice came to a halt, “Do I smell food.” She opened one of her eyes to peek out at you. 

You couldn’t hold back your smile at how cute she was, “Yes, I made you some breakfast. So hurry and get up to eat before it gets cold.” 

She let out a small groan and then you helped her sit up. “Thank you.” She smiled at you tiredly as you placed the plate of food in her lap. 

“Mhm.” You hummed happily as she began to dig into the food. You couldn’t help but stare at the woman you were deeply in love with.

_

In what felt like an instant, all of your favorite memories with Jieun replayed in your head as you stared at her with blank eyes. 

“Baby, hey, are you okay..?” You began to hear her voice break through the fog in your mind. She grabbed both of your hands to pull you towards the end of the hallway where no one was around. 

Jieun placed both hands on your cheeks. She held your face in her hands as she looked at you with all the concern she could muster. “Why are you crying..?” She asked you softly. 

“Huh..?” You asked in confusion, “Crying..?” You couldn’t even feel the tears that streamed their way down your cheeks. “Jieun..” Your eyes began to water up even worse as you moved to pull her into a hug. 

“What’s wrong, hmm..?” Jieun hummed against your body as she hugged you. 

You pulled away to look at her, “These are tears of joy, I promise.” You grabbed one of her hands so you could plant a small kiss on her knuckles, “I can’t believe this is happening. My heart, it can’t handle this.” You let out a small sigh, “It only ever beats like this because of you.” You placed her hand over your chest so she could feel the rapid beating of your heart. “You’re the only person that can make me like this.” 

Jieun smiled gently, “So then what are these tears about..? Hmm..?” She tilted her head to the side as she waited for your answer. 

“It’s just, it feels like this is a big step forward for us. It feels unreal.” Your shoulders dropped as you looked down at the ground. “Wow..” You shook your head before continuing, "I've waited for what feels like an eternity to be able to let everyone know we are together. Not because you are 'IU the famous celebrity' but because you're 'Jieun the one girl who can make me feel like no one has before'. I want people to know how much of a beautiful person you are inside and out, how happy you make me, how you take care of me when I'm not feeling the best, how you always reassure me everything will be okay and most of all, I want people to know of the love I hold for you in my heart."

When you looked back up at Jieun you weren’t expecting to be met with her tear stained cheeks. It was your turn to dry her face, your thumb delicately tracing over the small streaks on her cheeks. 

“Are you okay..?” You leaned your forehead against hers as she closed her eyes. 

“Mhm,” She hummed as she took in a deep breath, “I’m fine, it's just you always catch me off guard with your words.” 

You pulled away from her so you could look her in the eyes, “Well they’re not just empty words, they’re my true feelings put into word format. I mean everything that I say when it comes to you. I seriously do love you Jieun, and I’m willing to do any and everything you need me to do.” 

Jieun looked at you for a few seconds as she thought about what to do next. She let out a small breath before smiling at you, “Okay then, let me talk to Hanteo real quick so I can see what we can do.” 

Jieun tried to walk away but you grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving, “Wait.” 

Jieun looked at you in shock but then she decided to let you say whatever it was that you needed to say. “What’s wrong..?” 

“Jieun, I know I’m okay with people knowing about us, but are you one hundred percent sure you’re okay with this..? We live two separate lives, this news coming out wouldn’t hurt me as much as it would your career. Are you sure you’re willing to risk everything for us..?” Jieun had spent her entire lifetime building up her successful career that could quickly fall in ruins at the mention of any news that the public would disagree with. You wanted her to be super sure about her decision. 

Jieun held your hand in both of hers, “Yes, I’m sure.” Three words. It was that simple to her. There was no contemplation on her part, she was ready for everyone to know about your relationship. She didn’t care about anything else, much less the public’s opinion about her relationship. “Whatever happens to my career could never come as close as us not being able to be together. I would choose you over everything else in this world every chance that I get.” Jieun’s tone was as sincere as it’s ever been, she wanted you to know she was serious. “If no one accepts me for who I am and who I love, then what's the point of keeping this career up if I can't be happy.” 

And with that final statement from her, you knew there was no changing her mind now. “Okay then.” You matched the expression she wore on her face, “So we’re doing this..?” 

“Mhm.” Jieun hummed in response. 

“Wow, we’re doing this..?” You repeated your sentence as more of an exclamation as the situation finally resonated in your head. “We’re doing this!” This time it wasn’t even a question, it was more of a cheer. You pulled your hand away from her grip so you could jump up and down in celebration. “We’re doing it!!” You continued to cheer, putting a smile on Jieun’s face, until you felt all the extra energy in your body dissipate. 

“Haha are you okay now..?” Jieun asked once you settled back down from your impromptu cheer performance. 

“Ooh yeah, just a little dizzy.” You placed a hand on your head, your current state being a result from you jumping up and down while spinning in a circle. 

Jieun couldn’t help but laugh at your current state of being. “You’re so cute.” 

It was now your turn to blush as Jieun’s words made their way into your heart. You were used to being the cheesy one in the relationship so you being in this state was a rare sight to Jieun. 

“Ahh so cute.” Jieun couldn’t help the small squeal of excitement she let out when she saw you in your flustered state. “Oh the way I love you is insane.” Jieun wrapped you up in her arms so she could squeeze you. The cuteness aggression she was feeling was serious. 

“Jieun stop…” You couldn’t handle her teasing you like this, so pulling away with a smile you turned away from her. You buried your face in your hands, the warmth on your face was a surprise to your now warm hands. 

Jieun’s eyes widened in adoration, she loved seeing you being so flustered by her actions. She considered this moment as payback for how you were teasing her earlier. She beat you at your own game essentially. 

“Cute.” Jieun mumbled as she moved to hug you from behind. “Come on, let’s walk to my dressing room, I still have to find Hanteo so I can talk to him about all this.” 

It took you a few more deep breaths before you pulled your face away from your hands, “Okay.” You nodded before turning in Jieun’s embrace. “You lead the way?” You asked her as you looked into her eyes. 

Jieun couldn’t hide her smile when she noticed just how vulnerable you looked in that moment. “Mhm.” Jieun released her arms from your waist so she could hold your hand. She led you down the hallway and to her dressing room. The both of you walked in as everyone was packing up all their items. “Wait for me here..?” 

“Okay, but don’t take too long.” Your voice was quiet as you were still feeling shy from her actions earlier. You loved to tease her but when it came to being the one being teased you just couldn’t handle it. 

Jieun’s smile widened, “Mmm okay, I’ll try to hurry.” Jieun spoke with a pout as her voice sounded like she was speaking to a lost child. Jieun cupped your face so she could give you a kiss before walking away. 

You walked to the back corner of her dressing room so you could sit in one of the empty seats. You slowly spun in the chair you were sitting in as you looked up at the ceiling, mind racing about all the possible outcomes of your relationship going public. 

After what felt like an eternity, but was really just thirty minutes, a familiar hand stopped your chair from spinning. You instantly smiled as soon as your eyes landed on the familiar beauty in front of you. 

“Having fun..?” Jieun asked you in a light hearted tone as she moved to sit in your lap. 

You had a small pout on your face as you shook your head, “About as much fun as I can have when you’re not around.” You paused to let out a sigh, ”Which is not much at all.” You responded as you gently wrapped your arms around her while she got comfortable against your body.

Jieun giggled quietly before letting out a small breath, “Hmm well I have some good,” She paused before tilting her head up to look at you, “And some bad news.” She reached up with her hand to place it behind your head, gently tilting your head down so you could look at her. 

“Okay,” You looked her in the eyes as your hand gently traced up and down her side, “What’s the news..?” 

“Oh wait,” She moved her hand away from your head so she could dig her phone out of her pocket. She called over someone in the room, when you looked up you noticed it was the overworked intern from earlier. “Hi, sorry to bother you but would you mind taking some pictures for me..?” Jieun asked the now flustered girl. 

The young girl looked at you and then at Jieun with shock written all over her face, “Oh sure.” The girl grabbed Jieun’s phone from her hand. 

You looked at Jieun while the young girl fumbled with the phone, “You never miss the opportunity for a picture, do you..?” The dumb smile on your face was met with the proud one on Jieun’s face. 

“Of course not babe, you should know this by now.” Jieun moved her face to hide it in the crook of your neck, using your hair to cloak her face. 

You readjusted your hands before looking up at the camera, the intern had been snapping pictures of the two of you since she managed to open the camera application. When you smiled at her she froze before accidentally dropping Jieun’s phone. 

“Oh my I’m so sorry.” The girl quickly reached down to pick up Jieun’s phone before being stopped by Jieun placing her hand on the girl's arm. 

“Hey don’t apologize, it’s okay. Thank you for taking time out of your day to do that for me.” Jieun moved off of your lap so she could pick up her phone. 

The girl quickly bowed her head at you and Jieun. “Sorry.” 

“Hey it’s okay, really.” This time you spoke to the young girl, “Sorry if she held you up from doing what you needed to do.” You gestured to Jieun who was now looking through the pictures that the girl had taken. “She gets tunnel vision when it comes to a photo opportunity.” 

“Oh, okay.” The girl stared at you with big eyes. “I didn’t mind.” 

“Haha okay, well we’ll leave you alone now.” You bowed your head at the girl before placing your hand on Jieun’s back so you could make her bow to the young girl as well. 

“Oh right, thank you so much.” Jieun smiled at the girl once she was upright. 

The girl scrambled off after that so then the two of you moved back to sitting in the chair together. 

“Okay well you got your pictures, are you going to tell me the news now..?” 

“Mhm but wait, look at this one…” Jieun held her phone up to your face to show you a picture. 

“Oh.” Your eyes widened in surprise by how good the picture actually was. You were smiling at the camera but the photo was snapped right at the moment the intern lost her grip on it so it was a little blurry but just in the right way. 

“Right..? It’s my favorite one.” Jieun giggled before putting her phone away. Jieun cleared her throat before speaking again, “Okay so I talked to my company and they told me that as long as I’m one hundred percent sure about my decision then they would stand behind me for everything. They only have one condition, and that’s for us to announce our relationship through a live broadcast.” 

“Oh, so I’m assuming the broadcast is the bad news..?” You asked Jieun after what she said weighed in your mind. 

“Yeah, I just wasn’t sure how you would feel about it. If you don’t feel comfortable about it then we can just cancel this whole thing.” 

“Oh no Jieun, don’t worry. I want to do this just as much as you do.” You smiled at her, “As long as you’re with me I’ll be okay.” 

Jieun admired you for a minute before responding. She knew making that decision was hard for someone in your position. You never cared about being in the public’s eye but now you were essentially being thrown into it because of her career. She would be lying if she said she didn’t feel super selfish for making you make this decision and also super guilty for all the sacrifices you had to make when it came to dating her. She often wondered if you would be happier with just having a normal relationship with anyone not in a public position such as hers. 

“Jieun, are you okay..?” You moved a hand up to hold her face when you saw her having an internal battle. 

Jieun nodded her head as she avoided looking you in the eyes, “Yeah, I'm sorry. I just can’t help but feel like I'm forcing you to do this. I’m sorry for putting you in this position.”

“Jieun, no, you’re not forcing me to do anything. Don’t say that, okay..? I want to do this. I promise.” You leaned down so you could plant a soft kiss on her forehead. 

Jieun finally looked up at you, “Okay, then when do you want to do the broadcast..?”

You shrugged your shoulders in response, “It doesn’t matter to me. Talk to Hanteo and your company, whatever works for them will work with me.” 

“Alright then,” Jieun let out a heavy sigh, “I’m nervous.” She admitted to you in a hesitant tone. 

“It’ll be okay. If anything were to happen I’ll be right by your side.” 

Jieun leaned her head against you before closing her eyes, “I know love, thank you.” 

“Of course baby.” Your voice was gentle when you noticed just how tired she was

_

Everyone had soon cleared out of the room and only you and Jieun were left alone, a few staff members filtered in and out of the room occasionally. Hanteo had walked up to you to let you know the car was ready for you outside. 

You looked down at Jieun, who had fallen asleep on you a while ago, you slid your arms underneath her so you could slowly pick her up so as to not wake her. You carefully made your way out of the room and towards the car outside. On your journey to the car she had wrapped her arms around your neck as she mumbled something in her sleep. 

You and Hanteo walked to the car together as you discussed Jieun’s decision. He told you he was genuinely surprised it took her this long to come to this decision since he always knew her as someone who always wanted to get everything done as soon as possible, not caring about any of the negativity when it came to something she truly believed in. 

Once you made it to the car, Hanteo opened the door for you so you could slide Jieun into the back seat. You quickly got in so you could lean her head onto your shoulder so she could continue sleeping. Hanteo moved to get into the driver's seat so he could get the two of you home as soon as possible. 

_

In what seemed like a flash, a week had passed since Jieun had settled on her decision for your relationship to go public. After a lot of back and forth of planning, her and her management team had come up with a fairly simple but effective plan. 

The day after her fan meeting she had uploaded the pictures she had taken when it ended, (The one she took while on your back and then the one where she was in your lap) and in the caption of the pictures she had mentioned that the two of you would be having a broadcast. Then on her own personal account she started following your couple’s account and then she liked the post about the broadcast. These two simple steps led to a huge whirlwind of events. 

Many people in the comments started to speculate about how it was Jieun in all the photos, well for once these delusional guessing comments would be right, and by just having her personal account following your couple’s account the followers completely blew up. Now you weren’t someone who cared about any of the numbers on anything as this page was mostly like a public diary about your relationship, but even you were impressed by how huge the numbers grew. Your account went from where it sat before to having almost half of what her personal account had. Plus a few of her fellow celebrity friends started following it as well which also caused a huge movement of people discovering your account, well Jieun’s account. 

Continuing on with the plan, Jieun had posted a countdown with the numbers sort of being blended in on the pictures she would post to her story. Some people had quickly caught on but the rest had to find out about it through fan accounts on different social media pages. It soon became like a treasure hunt to find the ticking numbers embedded in her photos. Only those ticking numbers matched up with the scheduled live broadcast for your couple’s account. 

It didn’t take long for your own personal account to be found by her fans and the people who followed your couple’s account. You quickly had to move to delete many of your embarrassing pictures from your teenage years as you had barely used the account nowadays. Jieun took it upon herself to help you update everything on it. The theme of your couple’s account soon took over your personal account. 

_

“You okay, are you nervous..?” 

You looked up when you heard Jieun enter your bedroom, “Uhm, hmm.” You shook your head before speaking again, “Not really.”

“Are you sure..?” Jieun asked as she moved to sit next to you on the bed. 

“Yeah I’m sure Jieun, we’ve been together for nearly five years now, I think it’s time for people to finally know the truth.” You moved to lay your head in her lap, your eyes shined as you looked up at the woman who made your life better every second she was in it. 

Jieun let out a small laugh before placing a hand on your cheek, staring down into the eyes she loved very much. “I think you’re right. It’s time to let everyone know.”

“Just a few more hours to go and we will finally have nothing to hide anymore.” You couldn’t help but melt in her touch as her thumb lightly grazed over your cheek.

“Ugh, I seriously don’t know how I was able to keep us hidden this entire time.” Jieun leaned down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead. 

“Hmm, well I’m seriously surprised no one has ever figured it out yet, especially with the way you look at me in public events.” You had a little laugh at the look she sent you.

“Shut up, I hate you.” Jieun pulled her hand away from you so she could place both hands behind her so she could lean back. 

You wrapped your arms around her waist and moved to nuzzle your head into her stomach, “Oh come on, don’t say that. You love me.” You had a smile on your face as you could feel her laugh. 

“You’re so annoying.” Jieun let out a long sigh, “But I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t true. I think I might even love you a little too much, you turd.”

“Ha, that’s impossible.” You stopped moving your head to look back up at her. “Because I love you way more than you love me.” 

“Oh do you really?” Jieun’s head tilted to the side. 

“Mhm, I do.” Your arms tightened around her waist so you could give her a gentle squeeze. 

“Prove it.” 

“Hmm?” You let go of her waist so you could use your arms to lift your upper body up so your face would be even with hers. “And how do you want me to do that..?” You would be lying if you said the look on her face didn’t give you butterflies. 

“Do you really need me to spell it out for you?” Jieun leaned closer towards you. 

“Not really, but I just want to hear you say it.” Your head tilted to the side as a confident smile took over your features, completely ignoring the warmth that enveloped your entire body. 

“Oh really..?” Jieun raised an eyebrow at your answer. “How long do we have until our broadcast..?” 

“Uhm,” You broke eye contact with Jieun so you could look at the clock on the nightstand behind her. “About three hours or so.” Your eyes locked back onto her now darkened ones. 

“Good, that’s plenty of time.” Before your brain could register anything, Jieun had pulled you down onto the bed with her. 

Ahh Lee Jieun, the only woman who could turn a silly little joke into a crazy competition. Not that you were complaining or anything but jeez this woman drove you insane. 

_

“Oh, I definitely won here.” More than an hour had passed since your antics earlier and now you were hovering over Jieun’s reddened face. 

“Unfair.” Jieun mumbled before looking away from you.

“What..? Unfair?? How..?” You placed a hand on her warm cheek to tilt her head so she could face you. But before she could answer you let out a small chuckle, “Oh you look so pretty like this, Jieun.” You whispered in her ear before planting a kiss on her now sweaty temple. 

Your voice had sent a shiver down Jieun’s back, she tried her best to conceal it from you but she was very unsuccessful. “You’re unbelievable, you didn’t even give me a chance.” Jieun rolled her eyes at you. 

“It’s okay love, I enjoy loving you more.” You finally moved to untangle your body from hers so you could lay next to her. “I’m going to hop in the shower, you coming with..?” You turned your body so you could face her. 

“Of course I am, just give me a second to lay here for a bit.” Jieun sighed before placing her arm over her eyes, “I need to realign my chakras.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at how random your girlfriend was. “Oh you’re so cute, I love you.” You leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll go get the water started, feel free to join once your chakras are done aligning.” You moved to get off the bed. 

“Wait…” Jieun whined as she threw her arms around your body.

“What’s wrong..?” You turned to look over at your girlfriend. 

All she did was whine before sticking her lips out to you. 

Once again you couldn’t help but laugh at her, “Why are you so cute..?” You gave in to her request as you leaned in to gently kiss her lips before moving on to peppering little kisses all over her face. “Insane Jieun, you drive me insane and I love it.” You smiled as you spoke to her in the softest voice you could muster. 

Jieun’s eyes were filled with all of the adoration in the world as she stared into your own love struck eyes. You finally pulled away from her after what seemed like a lifetime of staring into the others eyes. 

“Okay I have to get up now, we don’t have much time left baby. We gotta wash up, so hurry up with your chakras.” You had a goofy smile on your face as you moved away from your bed and into the bathroom. “Don’t take too long now or else I won’t help you scrub your back.” That was the last thing you said before turning on the water to the shower. 

_

“I still can’t believe you’re still this bad at drying your hair after all these years.” Jieun complained as she sat next to you on the couch in your living room, towel in hand as she gently dried strands of your hair, 

“Well why would I try to get better at it when I can just have you do it..?” You lifted your hand to place it on hers, stopping her from drying your hair. “It should be okay now, we only have a few more minutes left.” You tried pulling the towel out of her hand.

“Ugh fine, but if you get sick later from your hair being damp I don’t want to hear it.” Jieun let go so you could take the towel from her. 

Once you pulled the towel away you turned to face her, “Well whose fault is it that I needed to take a shower right before the broadcast..? Hmm..?” 

Jieun turned her head to look away as she shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know. Crazy mystery.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at the scene in front of you, “Yeah, mhm, mystery indeed.” You shook your head at Jieun before getting up with the towel in your hand. 

“Go put that away, I’ll set everything up for the broadcast.” Jieun finally looked back over at you. “And stop looking at me like that before I kick you.” Jieun grabbed her phone that she placed on the coffee table in front of her. 

“Okay okay, I’m going.” Jieun had placed her foot on your leg so she could lightly push you along. 

Once you put the towel away you walked back into the living room, the sight in front of you instantly making you laugh. You sped up so you could jump over the back of the couch and sit next to Jieun. 

“What’s happening babe, I thought you were the expert in this stuff..?” When you had walked back into the living room you had seen Jieun struggling with something on her phone so you had to take this opportunity to tease her. 

Jieun let out a small huff before looking over at you in annoyance. “It’s not like you would do any better.” Jieun had the phone up to her face. “Oh, ahh!!” Jieun threw her phone on the coffee table in front of you. 

“Huh, what’s wrong..?” You looked at the phone then back over at Jieun. 

Jieun pointed to the phone before whispering, “I accidentally pressed start, go stop it.” 

“Oh, hold on.” You reached for the phone then you were soon greeted with your own face on the screen in front of you. You froze for a second before looking around to screen for a button to end the accidental live stream. “Oh, I found it.” You clicked on the red button up in the corner of the screen then you gave the phone back to Jieun. 

Jieun let out a huge breath as she placed her hand over her heart, “My goodness that scared the mess out of me.” 

“Did they see your face..?” You moved closer to her, putting your hand on her arms to try and calm her down. 

“I don’t know, I was trying to swipe out of the app but I accidentally hit the button and then I just threw the phone. I don’t know if anyone saw anything.” Jieun sighed before shaking her head. “I’m sorry, this might have been a bad idea.” She let go of her phone, letting it fall onto the couch so she could place her hands on her head.

“Jieun, it's okay.” You slipped your hands underneath her so you could turn her to face you. “Breathe baby, it’s going to be okay.” You moved her hands away from her face so she could look at you. “Breathe.” You whispered to her. 

Jieun nodded her head before struggling to calmly intake air. 

You moved her hair behind her ears so you could look at her face, “It's okay, just breathe.” 

You worked with Jieun for a few more minutes until she was finally able to calm down. You hated seeing her panic like this but it also wasn’t something new to you. 

“Better..?” You spoke to her in a gentle voice when she finally looked you in the eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m okay now.” Jieun’s voice wavered as she answered you with a nod. 

“Hey, everything is going to be okay. Don’t be too hard on yourself for a simple mistake. It happens, at least now we know it works.” You spoke the last sentence in a light hearted tone so she would know it was supposed to be a joke. 

“Mmm well I guess you’re right.” Jieun finally cracked a smile. 

“There we go, all better.” You ran your fingers through her hair before giving her a soft kiss on the forehead. 

Jieun’s smile lingered on her face as she watched you, “Did you still want to do it..?” 

“Hmm, what..?” Your head tilted to the side as you questioned what she meant. 

“The broadcast, do you still want to do it..?” Jieun clarified what she meant as she looked into your eyes. 

“Oh the broadcast.” You couldn’t help the smile on your face, “Of course, as long as you’re okay to do it.” 

“Yeah I’m fine now, I’ll just leave this to you.” She placed her phone in your lap. 

“Okay love, we’ll start it whenever you’re ready then.” You took her phone from her to examine the screen. 

Jieun stood up from the couch so she could grab a glass of water from the kitchen. She didn’t want to admit it to you but she was very nervous about this whole situation. She didn’t want you to get hurt because of her and she knew people would be ruthless to whoever she was in a relationship with. As she stood at the edge of the kitchen with her glass in hand, she watched you sitting on the couch scrolling through her phone. 

“Hey Jieun, uhm people are starting to comment about us saying we’re past the ten minute timestamp you posted about on the story thing.” You were scrolling through all the recent comments on the post Jieun had uploaded a bit ago talking about what time you two would begin the broadcast.

Jieun looked over at the clock on the stove and saw that the two of you were indeed behind schedule. Jieun took a small breath in before walking back over to sit next to you on the couch. “You can start it whenever you want, no pressure.”

You looked between Jieun and her phone, “No pressure.” You repeated what she said. “Okay, just a few more seconds then. I think that I’m now the one who needs her chakras realigned.” You flashed her a smile when you referenced what she had said earlier that evening. 

“Oh, it’s actually kind of quiet in here, isn’t it..?” Jieun looked around the living room before standing back up. 

You just watched as she walked over to the smart speaker you had in the living room then she asked the speaker to play some music. You couldn’t help the laugh you let out when she jumped in surprise at how high the volume was at first. 

“Oh, found it.” Jieun whispered as she turned the volume down to a reasonable level. 

Once Jieun sat back down next to you you looked at her phone, finger hovering over the “Start Live” button. 

“It’s okay baby, whenever you’re ready.” Jieun whispered to you before gently placing a kiss on the side of your head. 

You looked over at her with a small smile, “Okay then, this could either be the beginning of paradise or hell, but for you it is worth it.” 

Jieun leaned against the armrest of the couch so she could get out of her phone's camera frame and she watched you with so much love in her eyes it was crazy. “Let’s hope it’s paradise, because that’s how these past few years have felt.” 

You gave her a small nod before focusing on the screen in front of you. “Here we go, 1.. 2.. 3.” You spoke to yourself before finally clicking on the button that you’d been staring at for what felt like forever. All you could do was stare at the screen for the first few moments as you watched people continuously join the broadcast. The number grew way faster than you expected, the shock was evident on your face. You finally began to introduce yourself once Jieun nudged you with her leg to snap you out of your trance. You looked over at her then back at the phone, clearing your throat, you began to speak. “Oh wow, hi.” You smiled shyly at the camera as comments went flying by on the screen. “There sure are a lot of people here tonight haha.” Your head tilted to the side as you read some of the comments. “Okay well let me get started then.” You cleared your throat again before looking at the camera lens instead of the screen. 

“Hello, thank you all for joining in tonight as we have some crazy news to share with everyone, but before we get to all that I just want to say a few words. I apologize in advance if I come off as incoherent or scattered brained, my girlfriend is actually the professional in all this public speaking stuff so please cut me some slack. But here we go, I want to first of all thank you all for being so supportive of this account and our relationship. I know a lot of you have been following this account for a long time and some of you even since the beginning. We both never expected this account to get the attention it got, it kinda just started off as a way for my girlfriend to record our relationship. She’s a very busy person so she loves to record any moments of us together when she can so that’s how this whole account started off. This was entirely her idea so I don’t want to take any credit for it, I’m just grateful that about a third of our relationship is always available for us to look back on.” You looked over at Jieun with a heartfelt smile before looking back at the camera. “Now, I guess I shouldn’t delay this topic any further so let’s get to it. One of the hottest topics about our account is who my girlfriend is and why she doesn’t show her face. Well she’s here to introduce herself to all of you out there, but I just want to give you all a small warning.” You pulled the phone closer to yourself so you could whisper, “My girlfriend is very very beautiful so just be prepared.” You moved the phone back to its original distance from your face. 

Jieun laughed at your antics as she watched you in amusement. 

You looked over and locked eyes with her, “Ready..?” 

Jieun admired you for a few seconds before nodding her head, “Mhm.” 

Your smile grew even bigger then you looked back over at the camera. “Okay, well I’m going to hand this off to her now, she’s kinda the professional in all of this so yeah. Here you go love.” You handed the phone to Jieun. 

She continued to keep her face out of frame until she was ready. Then slowly she moved closer to you, moving the camera to capture both of your faces in frame. Jieun didn’t say anything as all she could do was stare at the way the comments flew by faster than she could read them.

“Gosh Jieun, how do you manage to look even more beautiful on screen.” You spoke your genuine compliment as you looked between the Jieun next to you and the one on the screen in front of you. “Crazy.” You shook your head in disbelief at her beauty.

Jieun began to blush like crazy when she heard your compliment. “I guess it’s my turn to introduce myself, no..?” Jieun whispered to you.

“Mhm, go ahead baby.” You reached for her hand that wasn’t holding the camera. “You got this.” You reassured her with a gentle squeeze of her hand. 

Jieun looked between you and the camera as she built the courage to speak. Then finally she introduced herself. “Hello everyone, it’s nice to finally meet you all on this account. My name is Lee Jieun but a few of you may know that I also go by another name. And that name is IU.” Jieun’s eyes on screen reflected the comments that were speeding by on screen. “I know this may seem crazy, but yes, that has been me in all these pictures on this account. What do you think, did I do a good job at hiding my identity..?” Jieun asked the viewers as she had a small smile on her face. “I just hope that you all now understand the reason behind me being secretive about my identity on this account for the past two years.” 

The two of you sat in silence after her last sentence while you both tried reading some of the comments. You finally decided to speak up to help break the silence. 

“See, I told all of you that she was very beautiful.” You looked away from the screen so you could look at Jieun’s profile, “Very, very beautiful.” 

Jieun placed the phone in your hand so she could move to hide her face in the crook of your neck. “Stop that, you’re making me shy.” She whispered to you which caused you to laugh.

You held the camera up to show everyone watching the scene that was happening between the two of you. “Haha, did you hear that..?” You asked the viewers watching. “She’s shy.” 

After a small while the comments began to slow down and you were finally able to fully read them. You nudged Jieun so she could look at you. “Look, they’re all pretty much positive.” You gestured to the phone in front of you. 

Jieun finally pulled away from you so she could read the comments as well. “Oh wow…” She mumbled as she stared at the screen. 

“Yeah wow.” You agreed with her statement of shock. “I guess everything is going to be okay now, hmm..?” 

“Hopefully.” Jieun spoke in a quiet voice. 

“Hmm,” You looked between Jieun and the screen. “Well, I feel like we should tell them about ourselves, shouldn’t we..?” 

“Mhm, we should.” Jieun nodded as all she could do was stare at you in admiration at how you were able to lead the livestream even though this was your first time doing anything like this. 

Your eyes grazed the comments that were flying by, filled with questions. You read them outloud to yourself before finding one that you wanted to answer. 

“How did the two of you meet..?” You read the comment out loud then you looked over at Jieun, who was still just staring at you. “Do you want to tell the story or do you want me to..?” 

“You can do it…” Jieun answered as she avoided looking you in the eyes. 

“Okay,” You planted a gentle kiss on her forehead before clearing your throat and looking back at the camera. “It was about seven years ago now, and believe it or not we first met on the bus. Crazy right..?” You smiled as memories started to flood your mind. “I was in my first year of university here and I was heading to a study group at a cafe near my campus. I was still fairly new to the area so I had gotten on the wrong bus at first so when I boarded the one Jieun was on, I was already running late. And Jieun, well actually where were you headed to..? You never told me.” You looked over at Jieun.

“Oh, it was my day off so I was just visiting a bunch of different bakeries and cafes around town.” Jieun answered as she moved to lean her head on your shoulder so she could look at you through the screen in front of her. 

“Oh, interesting.” You smiled when you felt her lean on you. “Continuing, she was in the seat behind me and she had suddenly dropped her phone which slid forward, hitting my shoe, so like any other sane person in the world, I picked it up to hand it to her. But man, when I was handing her her phone, the look on her face was unbelievable. The way she looked at me in that moment still gives me butterflies to this day.” You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you continued to tell the story of your first meeting. 

Jieun happily sat with you, occasionally chiming in to help with some of the story telling, she didn’t know if it was the huge amount of weight that was no longer on her shoulders that made her feel even more comfortable leaning on you. You were her happy place and she would never deny that. You had then given the phone to Jieun so you could explain this part of the story with your hands.

“And yeah, all that has led up to here. I can’t believe I’ve had to deal with your crazy self for this long.” You laughed as you looked at Jieun.

“Ha, you’re the crazy one here, not me.” She playfully slapped your shoulder. 

“Sure, as if that’s not a lie.” You had a sly smirk on your face as you watched Jieun.

Jieun glared at you before breaking out in a bright smile, “It’s insane that I love you so much that I can’t even pretend to be mad at you.” 

You let out a joyful laugh before moving to quickly wrap her up in a hug, knocking her phone out of her hand in the process. “Oh, oops.” You leaned over to pick her phone up from the ground, “I’m sorry about that, are you all okay..?” 

While you were talking to the camera Jieun stared at you from behind, “Dummy…” She mumbled in a not so subtle way. 

You turned away from the camera to look at her, “What did you just call me..?” 

Jieun had a mischievous smirk on her face as she answered you, “Dummy.” This time she spoke with way more haughtiness.

“Oh really..?” You stuck your tongue to the side of your cheek as you nodded slowly. “This is how it’s going to be huh..” You had a small smile on your face as you moved forward to lean her phone against a candle you had on the coffee table. “Okay then.” Once you had the camera set up you turned around to face Jieun. “Dummy, is it..?” You asked before moving to jump on top of her. “Say sorry.” You laughed as you began to tickle the squirming girl beneath you. 

“Hahaha, n-no, n-, hahaha, never!” She laughed loudly, barely letting the words out. 

“Say it,” You couldn't help but laugh at how infectious Jieun’s laugh was. 

“No!” She yelled as her laugh got even louder. 

“Say it.”

“No!”

Say i- woah!” Before you were able to even realize it, Jieun had wrapped her legs around your waist, quickly moving to flip the two of you over. Uh-oh, now she was the one on top. 

“J-jieun,” You let out a giggle, “Stop!! You’re going to make me pee myself!”

“Ha ha, Karma punk.” Jieun now sported that same mischievous smirk from earlier as she tickled. 

By now you had completely forgotten about the camera and broadcast as all your focus was now on getting revenge. 

Somewhere in between your squirming around you were able to grab her arms to stop her from tickling you, you quickly moved to tackle her back down underneath you. “Ha! Got you.” You quickly stood up from the couch and moved to pick her up and throw her over your shoulder, once you had her where you needed her, you began to spin around. 

Jieun was laughing so hard tears began to stream down her face. 

Once you stopped spinning her around, you carefully dropped her back onto the couch, proceeding to throw a pillow at her. Jieun quickly scrambled to sit up so she could throw the pillow back at you.

You caught the pillow as it flew towards you, “Haha loser, I caught it!” You teased, sticking your tongue out at her. You turned around to look for a bigger pillow but then that soon became a big mistake as Jieun took that opportunity to jump on your back.

The two of you continued to play around like children for a while until you finally remembered about the broadcast that was still live streaming your whole play fight. Jieun was currently on top of you on the couch, attempting to do some wrestling moves when you reminded her about the camera. 

“Huh?” She paused in the middle of one of her moves, “Oh no.” She cleared her throat then she rolled off of you to sit down, trying her best to seem normal.

You couldn’t help the huge belt of laughter at the sight of her, “Oh you’re so cute.” You wrapped your arms around her and peppered her in kisses all over. 

Jieun was laughing while trying to free herself from you, “S-stop, haha, the, the, the broadcast.” She managed to get out in between her laughter. 

You finally pulled away from her with the biggest smile on your face. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I can’t help myself. You’re just too cute.” You planted one last kiss on her lips before grabbing her phone off of the coffee table. “Oh wow.” As you sat back down you looked at the number of people watching, it had more than doubled since the moment the two of you started playing around. 

_

It was now time for the broadcast to end and Jieun was the one who was in charge of that as you now sat asleep hugging her from behind. Your head was leaning on her back as your arms were wrapped around her waist. 

Jieun couldn’t help the smile on her face as she watched you from the screen, man was this girl in love. 

Jieun looked back up at the camera to begin speaking again in a hushed tone as to not wake you up. “Well I hope this wasn’t too much of a shock to my longtime supporters but I don’t regret this decision. This relationship is a huge part of who I am and I just hope that you can all continue to support me for who I am and not because of who or how I love. And I mean that with all the sincerity in the world.” Jieun paused to turn her head to look at you, “I love her a lot, she makes me so happy it’s hard to even put it into words.” Jieun looked back over at the camera, eyes looking over the comments, “She’s someone very special to me. She makes me feel things that I didn’t even know were possible. There’s no one out there more perfect for me than her and she has never made me feel anything less than special.” Jieun didn’t notice how a tear had escaped from her eye as she spoke her truth, “I have to go now, thank you for all of your support. Bye.” Jieun waved at the camera then she cut the broadcast off. 

_

“Jieun, I’m not sure about this. I’m nervous.” You whispered as you followed her into the dressing room you were now sharing. Yes sharing, not her dressing room, but one for the two of you. 

After the news about your relationship went viral everything quickly changed for you. You had to resign from your job due to people constantly pestering you about your relationship with one of the biggest artists in your time. Then outside of that people with huge cameras began hunting the two of you down everywhere you went and you were constantly getting bombarded by reporters trying to reach out to you. 

The day after the news came out Jieun decided to take the two of you on a vacation to a small village in a secluded part of the country so you could have some form of peace together. Your couple's account was the hot topic of every news outlet in the country so you went from barely being in a light to being on everyone’s phone in the country. 

Once the two of you came back from your impromptu vacation, Jieun’s manager had requested for you at her company. When the two of you showed up both Hanteo and the CEO of her company were waiting for you in one of the meeting rooms with a contract. After a lot of discussion you and Jieun figured this was the direction you were meant to go in, Jieun couldn’t have been happier for you as you signed the contract. Jieun admired your beauty more than anyone else in the world and now you would have an even bigger opportunity to share it with the world. This definitely wasn’t the way you expected your life to go but for Jieun, all of this was definitely worth it. 

So all of that leads to this moment, the producers of the show “Happy Together,” had reached out to Jieun’s manager to ask if the two of you were willing to appear for a special episode they were planning on shooting. You had left the decision up to Jieun and she agreed to it once the two of you had talked about it for a while. 

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. Just be yourself, there’s absolutely nothing to worry about, okay? I’ll be right next to you the entire time.” Jieun reassured you by placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles. 

“Okay…” You nodded in response before letting go of her hand so she could get her makeup done. You sat on the couch in the dressing room as you watched her through the mirror. 

Then soon it was your turn to sit where she was. You definitely weren’t used to the feeling of someone doing your makeup but you had seen Jieun do this a million times so you tried your best to sit still.

After the two of you were made up you sat in the dressing room together just talking. Jieun had begun to post old pictures of the two of you together on both your couple’s account and on her personal account so that was the topic the two of you were talking about.

There was a knock at the door then one of the producers you had introduced yourself to earlier walked in. He informed the two of you that he was going to give you a rundown of today's episode. He walked the two of you through the set as he explained what to do. “So when this door opens the two of you will just walk through and introduce yourselves, then you can walk towards the couch and sit down. If you begin to feel overwhelmed just let us know, this isn’t being broadcasted live.” He spoke the last sentence more towards you.  

It was almost laughable at how opposite both you and Jieun were at the current moment. She was cool, calm and collected as she smiled at everyone around, meanwhile you were on the brink of freaking out and looking like you could vomit any moment now.

Once the producer walked away, Jieun turned to face you. “Hey look at me, it’s going to be okay. Take a deep breath.” She rubbed your arm as you did what she said. “It’s going to be fine, okay..? If you need me to, I can talk for the both of us.” 

“That would honestly probably be the best choice here, I don’t want to embarrass the both of us.” You gave her a small smile. 

Jieun moved in to hug you tightly and you soon felt yourself relaxing in her embrace. 

“You know I love you, right..?” Jieun whispered in your ear. 

You nodded before whispering back, “Mhm, and I love you too.” 

Jieun continued to talk to you in an attempt to calm you down as they began to film. 

After a couple of minutes the door the producer mentioned earlier opened and it was now time for the two of you to walk onto set. Jieun held your hand tightly as she led the way. 

You felt super nervous but Jieun never once let go of your hand, soon all the introductions were over and the two of you sat down on the couch designated for you. 

As the show progressed you were finally able to calm down as you soon noticed how friendly everyone was on set. This was honestly one of your favorite shows to watch in your free time so actually being able to be on set was super awesome. 

At one point Jae-suk had motioned towards you and Jieun while smiling, “The two of you haven’t let go of each other's hand since you walked in.” 

Instead of Jieun you spoke up, looking down at your interlocked fingers, “Yeah I guess we haven’t.” 

You looked up to look at Jieun, her eyes immediately locking onto your own, a proud smile on her face. 

The two of you then shared a laugh when Myungsoo told a dumb dad joke about your situation. 

Towards the end of the show Jae-suk had brought up the topic of the public's response to your relationship. Not in a way that was invasive but more as setting up the discussion for normalizing queer relationships in the country and in the Media. 

“Well,” Jieun began, “There was a huge amount of support from people outside of our country and by people from the younger generations. I ignored many of the unpleasant responses as I know that our relationship is just as valid as anyone else’s relationship, so to anyone out there saying that we’re setting a bad example for their kids then I’m sorry but I have to disagree. If two people in a healthy and loving relationship is a bad example for kids then I’d hate to see what a ‘good’ example would be for your kids.” Jieun spoke in such an eloquent way that helped disguise the disgust she felt to the people who spoke ill of your relationship. 

You just had to take a moment to admire how she sounded so professional to the camera but yet she was essentially telling people to screw off.

The smile on your face wasn’t missed by Jae-suk as he soon asked you for any input you wanted to add. 

You looked over at him and nodded, “Well just like Jieun said, we both care for each other very deeply and this was a huge decision we both agreed on after years of being together. I knew this choice was going to hurt her career in some form or another but I am glad to know that we can show young people that it eventually gets better. That they are normal and there is definitely not something wrong with them. I know if a celebrity I looked up to as a kid had this in common with me then it would’ve made life a lot easier on me. Not saying that my parents didn’t support me, cause they definitely do, it just would've made everything that was going on in my head make more sense. But now I get to wake up to this beautiful face everyday and I couldn’t be happier.” You looked at Jieun. “And as a bonus, Jieun isn’t as stressed anymore about hiding such a big part of herself from her fans. So I want to thank all of her fans that decided to stick by her side. I thank all of you so much for accepting me and our relationship. I promise to take care of Jieun and to always be there for her.” 

Jieun’s eyes began to water as she listened to you, then Jae-suk asked her if she wanted to add on to what you said. 

“Oh sorry, just give me a minute.” Jieun smiled as she turned her face away from the camera. With the hand that wasn’t holding yours, she patted her finger around her eyes. “Sorry.” She apologized to the cast and crew. 

“No, no, don’t apologize.” Jae-suk reassured Jieun with words of encouragement.

“Okay well,” Jieun started once she was able to collect herself, “We really do hope to become a beacon of hope for young people everywhere so that they know they will always be loved and accepted by us. We both know how it feels so trust us when we say we love everyone out there who may feel like they don’t fit in with society's normalized standards. You will all become happy in the future, I wish things didn’t take such a long time but in the end I promise it will be worth it.” 

Everyone on set couldn’t help but get emotional at what the two of you were saying and Jieun wasn’t helping once she said that she was starting an outreach organization to help give young kids resources to help process their feelings. She stated that she had wished that this was something she had around as a kid so instead she wanted to be the one to establish this organization. Jae-suk even chimed in saying that he would also like to help out sometime. You couldn’t have been prouder of the woman sitting next to you. Always so caring to everyone. 

Overall your experience on the show was amazing, everyone from the cast to the crew was incredibly nice to the both of you. You were glad that you were both given the space to share more about your relationship to people out there who still doubted that relationship was anything more than a publicity stunt.

After the cameras stopped rolling you thanked everyone for allowing the two of you on the show and then it was time for you to leave.

You and Jieun walked outside hand in hand following behind Hanteo. 

“I knew you would do an amazing job, I’m so proud of you.” Jieun said once the two of you were seated in the car. 

“Well I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, but you being there with me really helped out.” You had a small smile on your face as you talked to her. 

“Then I’m just glad you didn’t have a panic attack.” Jieun kissed your cheek, causing you to look at her, “I’m seriously so proud of you.” She planted a soft kiss on your lips before putting her seat belt on. 

_

Once you had made it home you had asked Jieun if she wanted to go on a walk to see the sunset. 

Of course she agreed so as she waited for you by the door you ran into your shared bedroom to slip something into your pocket. You quickly rushed out to meet her at the front door, and even though she didn’t say anything, Jieun knew there was something up with you. 

The two of you walked along the scenic pathway you frequented on her days off, hand in hand, talking about everything and anything that came to mind. Jieun would pause occasionally to take pictures, as always, and you couldn’t help the smile on your face as you admired her. 

You had stopped walking once you made it to what you considered the most beautiful spot on the path. 

“What’s wrong..? Are you thirsty..?” Jieun asked in concern when you pulled her aside. 

You couldn’t help the small smile on your face as you shook your head, “No, I’m fine. I just wanted to ask you something.” 

Jieun raised an eyebrow at your strange behavior, “You know you can ask me anything right..? You don’t have to ask for permission.” 

“I know love, but I think I might need at least some permission for this question.” Before Jieun could say anything else you moved to get on one knee. You pulled out a little black box from your pocket, opening it up towards her and it revealed a simple yet beautiful ring. It had both of your initials engraved onto it, and it was topped off with a beautiful but appropriate diamond. “Lee Jieun, will you marry me..?” Your voice wavered with a bit of nervousness as you asked her the big question.

“You can’t be serious??” Jieun’s face was riddled with shock as her eyes began to water up. “Yes, yes of course! A million times yes!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as your own eyes began to tear up, you slid the ring onto her ring finger then you moved to envelope her in a big hug. 

“Finally…” Jieun mumbled before pulling away from the hug so she could kiss you. “You took your precious time with this love.”  

“I know baby, and I’m sorry it took this long. I just didn’t want to ask you before we went public, I didn’t want to pressure you into feeling like we had to go public. I was happy waiting until you were ready.” You held Jieun’s face in your hands as you admired her eyes. “I love you.” 

Jieun’s eyes continued to water, “I love you too.” 

_

“She’s my fiance, yay! She’s my fiance, yay! She’s my fianc-” 

“Are you okay..?”

“Oh my, Jieun, you scared me!” You had jumped up in surprise when you heard Jieun’s voice behind you. 

It was later that night and you were washing the dishes from dinner as Jieun showered, you didn’t expect her to finish up this fast… so yeah she might have caught you celebrating to yourself. 

“Are you that excited to be engaged with me..?” Jieun wrapped her arms around your neck once you turned around to face her. 

“Are you joking..? Of course I’m this excited Jieun. I’m sure I’m probably the happiest woman on earth right now.” You placed your hands on either side of her waist. 

Jieun had a smile on her face as her eyes looked back and forth from your eyes to your lips, “Well I think there’s probably one woman on earth who is happier.”

“Oh really..?” You raised an eyebrow at her. “And who would that be..?” 

Jieun leaned in closer, “Me.” She whispered to you before leaning in to envelope you in a loving kiss. 

_

“Oh they’re loving this picture babe.” Jieun smiled as she showed you her phone screen.

“I told you, it’s my favorite one.” The photo on her phone was one of her in frame while holding your hand on up to the camera. You interlocked fingers showing the newly found rings on both of your ring fingers. This was the first picture on your couple’s account that featured just Jieun’s face. 

“I liked the one with both of us in it, but you insisted on this one.” Jieun opened up her gallery to show you the picture she was referencing. 

“Baby you can just post that on your account, no one’s stopping you.” 

Jieun gasped, she stared at you with the widest eyes. “You’re so right, I forgot I could do that.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at her antics, “You’re so cute baby, don’t ever change.” You planted a kiss on her cheek before laying your head on her lap. You looked up at the woman you loved the most and your heart was super content, there was no better feeling than this. 

[bellysoupset]

oh dude i just realised there’s not many fics with sick vince and caretaker lucas. could you write something fluffy like that? maybe vince is a little emotional in this one and luke has to be the calm one. no scat please :)

Your wish is my command anon. Loads of cuddly emotional guys, fluff, emeto and no scat, the chef's favourite.

-------

"You look like death," Leo told Lucas as he entered the bus, passing the blonde by as he kissed Jonah goodbye.

"I'm fine," Luke lied through his teeth. In truth he hadn't been sleeping much and he felt absolutely wretched, not physically, but emotionally. No excuse to miss the game next state. He entered the bus and immediately found Vince in the further back, promptly walking to him and sitting down.

"Uhm, Mikey-" Vince tried to say, trailing off.

Lucas frowned, Michael could find another seat, not his. Vince rolled his eyes and leaned against the window, headphones on.

"What's wrong?" Luke asked, poking his arm. He knew why he was feeling like death, but had no idea why Vince was looking like that too.

The bus started and Vince groaned, pressing his forehead to the glass, "nothing."

"Uhm, Luke- That's my... My place..." Mikey pouted as he walked to the back, holding on the seats to keep himself steady. Lucas looked to the side, grabbing Mikey's backpack and handing it to him.

"Not anymore," then completely ignoring the guy he poked Vince again, "are you pissed? What's going on?"

"I'm not pissed," Vince scoffed, although his tone betrayed him. He sighed, moving uncomfortably, "I just wanna be left alone."

It was very uncanny for Vin to act like this, but Lucas decided to shut up. They still had three hours ahead and the whole night at the motel to talk over whatever was bothering his friend.

He leaned back, turning his cap forward and sliding down the seat, scrolling through instagram. It was his newest obsession, most people thought Bella didn't have social media because of how withdrawn she was, but Lucas knew she actually had an account pretty much dedicated to her favorite band.

"What are you doing?" Vince asked roughly forty minutes later, while Lucas read the caption of post completely unrelated to Bell.

"Uhm, stalking."

"How?" Vince leaned closer and then all but planted his head on Lucas' shoulder. Luke bit down a smile, this tactile overgrown dog behavior was much more like the Vince he knew.

"So Bella posted this, three days ago," he clicked back quickly, showing Vince a black vinyl with a red skull on the front, three naked pinup girls sitting under it, all holding devil tridents.

"Spooky."

"Eh, that's the music she likes," Lucas shrugged, "so I clicked on it and turns out its their newest album. Bella commented on their picture-" he flicked through the screens, opening the account of the band, "here. She says can't wait."

"Okay?" Vince frowned, "for the album, yeah? When it's coming out?"

"It came out yesterday," Lucas shook his head, "they're playing in the next town to ours. Friday night."

"Oh- So you think Bella's going...?"

"I do-" Lucas frowned as his cheek met Vince's forehead, "dude, you're burning up."

"Am I?" Vince pouted, "that explains the headache."

"You have a headache?" Luke turned to get a good look at him, "what else?"

"Nothing else mother hen, it's just an annoying headache. Get back here, you're comfy."

Lucas scoffed, settling back down so Vince could use his shoulder as a pillow, "how's your stomach?" he asked, digging through his own backpack and fishing out a water bottle. Vince grunted, raising his own.

"It's fine, a little bleh, but not like I'm gonna be sick," he sighed, "so you're planning on stalking Bella?"

"No," Lucas glared at the top of his head, "I'm planning on giving her the tickets, I know she loves music concerts... Were you feeling bad this morning already? You could've skipped it, it's not that important."

"Since when a game isn't important to you?" Vince huffed, "I don't think that's a smart idea, Bell is going to send the tickets back to you, probably with a bomb."

"At least then she'd know I haven't given up," Lucas rolled his eyes, "a game isn't as important as you are, Vin... Really, is it just the headache? Did you take anything?"

Vince's cheeks turned bright red, but he only nodded, "I took some tylenol before getting in the bus, kinda starting to regret it though."

"Stomach?"

"Just aching," he shrugged, burying his nose further in Lucas' jacket, "Imma try to nap."

"Okay..." Lucas settled back down, "do you want something to eat? Could help with the stomachache..."

"Luke," Vince sighed heavily, "shut up."

"Okay," he bit down on his tongue, pulling his phone back up and returning to the previous endeavor, even if only half hearted now that he was aware Vince wasn't feeling his best.

Twenty minutes later he felt Vince fully slump against him, followed by his breathing turning deep, little snores mixed in. Lucas rolled his eyes, checking his forehead again. It didn't seem any warmer, at least.

They made pretty much the rest of the drive without any accidents, Vince was out until the next ten minutes and Lucas ended up catching a short nap, seeing it was impossible not to feel sleepy when he had a space heater slumped over him.

"We're stopping?" Vince groaned, rubbing his neck as the bus started to slow down, the change of terrain clear by the jumping around.

"Yeah, think we're here-" Lucas yawned in his hand, then frowned as he got a clear look of Vince's face. The sun had already set when they left, but it had been clear out still. Now it was pitch dark and the only lights were from overhead, dim and yellow... "dude, you're green."

"Uhm," Vince grunted, sitting up straight, "how much more?"

"I'm going to check," Lucas got up, grabbing on the seats to walk to the front. Leo, sitting right on the front seat, was completely passed out, headphones on, face glued to the window. Luke snorted, he knew this was a side effect of the heavy motion sickness meds, but it was still amusing to see the blonde who was normally so put together practically drooling. He snapped a picture, then poked the coach.

"Hey coach."

"No," coach Eric shook his head, "get back to your seat, don't come tell me anyone is carsick."

Lucas snorted, "sorry."

The man groaned, clearly already tired of this, "who is it this time? Is it you-"

"Vince."

"Vince doesn't get carsick," coach rolled his eyes, now opening a relieved smile.

"Yeah, no, I think he's actually sick. We're gonna have to put Ryan in his position- How much longer until we stop?"

"Fifteen minutes," Coach Eric frowned, "are you being serious? Vincenzo never gets sick, are you pranking me?"

"Nope, he's got a fever," Lucas shrugged, "okay, gonna get back to my seat-"

"You're switching with me. I'll sleep with Vince, you get the other-"

"No way," Luke scoffed, "I always share with Vince!"

"And he's sick, you're not, we have a game tomorrow."

"I'm not switching rooms," Lucas glared at him, "even if he infects me, I'm not gonna be sick by tomorrow afternoon, it's fine."

"Atwood-"

"I'm not switching rooms," Lucas repeated, "I have to go back to my seat."

"goddammit Lucas!" Coach Eric exclaimed behind him, but Lucas ignored him, once more moving to the back. Vince's eyes were closed and he was leaning back, breathing deeply through his nose.

"Fifteen minutes," Lucas sat down next to him, already grabbing his and Vince's backpack, "can you hold?"

"I'm fine," Vince groaned, although his voice had that horrible thickness of queasiness.

"Yeah, you're fine," Lucas agreed without paying attention, digging through his backpack to find a bag. The guys often made fun of him, for bringing first aid, bags, extra water... But he didn't care. He liked making sure his team was looked after and without fail at least one of the guys got carsick when they went in long trips. More often than not Leo.

"Where did you get it anyway?" Vince asked, probably trying to get his mind off of the way his stomach was sloshing around. Lucas frowned, successfully retrieving a thick plastic bag from under his uniform and holding it out in case it was needed.

"The bag? My backpack-"

"The ring," Vince corrected, "like the rest of the story I get. The restaurant, the fight-"

"I was there, I remember," Lucas said sourly, but he couldn't be too aggressive when he could clearly tell his friend was feeling shitty.

"and I even understand you not telling me about the breakup or the proposal after it happened, because she said no-"

"Vince," Lucas winced, heart aching, "I really don't wanna-"

"But a ring you can't get last minute," Vince frowned, opened his eyes only to immediately close them again as nausea washed over him, "so?"

Lucas knew exactly what his friend was implying: that he had thought of the proposal with enough forethought to order a ring. That was probably the part that stung the most.

"When my mom died I got all of her inheritance," Lucas explained, pushing the words, his lips felt numb. He couldn't remember the last time he had spoken about his mother, "before she got sick... She was really into jewelry, she liked fine arts, operas, you know... Culture and arts, it was a big part of her campaign."

Vince nodded, breathing shallowly through his mouth, "so it was her wedding ring?"

"No," Lucas shook his head, "couldn't bring myself to use the actual wedding ring, it's just- Too many memories. It was just one of the rings. I keep all the pieces in my room's safe, so I actually just compared all the rings until I found one that matched Bella's ring size."

"You're stupid," Vince groaned, then wiped the cold sweat that had collected over his brow, pushing the hair back, "has it been fifteen minutes?"

"Nope, try drinking some water-"

"You got a bag?"

"Yeah, I got one. You're good," he squeezed his friend's arm, "deep breath."

"I'm not in labor," Vince groaned, then reached out blindly, taking the bag. He didn't open it, only kept it tightly between his fingers, "I can taste my lunch."

"Ew," Lucas winced, "try the wat-"

Vince ignored him, opening the bag and holding it close to his mouth, hunched over it with shallow breath. Lucas held his shoulder tightly, just in case he had to leap for the bag.

He heard a small, breathy burp and could hear perfectly as Vince's stomach complained, growling, "that sounds nasty."

"Feels nasty," Vin agreed, spitting inside the bag, "please tell me we're almost stopping."

"We're almost stopping," Luke lied, "really, just hang in there for a second."

Another wet belch answered him and Vince panted, bringing up even more spit, "I'm never eating duck again."

"It's not the poor duck's fault," Lucas teased, glancing nervously out of the window, "you're probably just carsick on top of the fever."

"Or the flu."

"You had the flu last month," Luke frowned, "seems bizarre you'd get it again."

"You tell me," Vince gagged suddenly and then his back arched with a loud heave, loud enough some of the guys turned on their seats to look at him. Lucas cringed in sympathy, but again nothing came up.

"God," Vin groaned, letting go of the bag and squeezing an arm around his belly. He burped once more, then again, then again and Lucas leaped for the bag, holding it open just in time to catch a very thin stream of vomit.

"Breathe, dude, you're okay..." Lucas said helplessly, holding the bag with one hand, the other in Vince's shoulder. Much to his relief, the bus came to a stop moments after.

They got rid of the bag in the parking lot, Vince taking deep measured breaths, but seeming to be feeling at least a little bit better now that they were no longer in a stuffy moving bus.

"I think you need meds again," Luke declared as they finally got the keys to their room. It wasn't an expensive hotel, far from it, but it had two queen beds and its own bathroom, which was all they needed.

"Not gonna stay down," Vince shook his head, falling on the bed face first and kicking off his shoes. He rolled to his side when lying on his stomach proved to be a bad idea, pushing up another sick burp, "my head is throbbing."

"Fever," Luke sighed, grabbing a water bottle in the mini bar and cracking it open, "bottoms up."

"Gonna come back up," Vince glared at it, but Lucas was unrelenting.

"Yeah and your head will hurt a lot more when you're dehydrated. Take small sips."

"Is there a bin?" Vince undid his pants, kicking them down and crawling back up in the bed, managing to sit against the headboard.

"Put these on," Lucas rummaged through Vince's bag, grabbing a pair of sweatpants, "you're gonna freeze your balls."

"Lovely vision, Luke," Vince rolled his eyes, planting a hand under his hoodie, "seriously, get me a bin, the water's not settling."

"Already?" Lucas pouted with concern, grabbing the waste basket and handing it to him. He sat on the edge of the bed too and took the water bottle that Vince passed him back.

"Uhm..." Vince leaned over the basket, gagging softly, nothing like his normal violent retches, and then all the water made it back up, practically untouched. He coughed, squeezing the basket to his chest, "kill me now."

"Can't kill my best friend, ask someone else," Lucas rolled his eyes, "okay bud, plan of attack. Symptoms?"

"Really Luke, kill me," Vince ignored him, resting his forehead on the edge of the bin.

"Nausea, clearly," Lucas ignored him right back, "headache, fever."

"Stomachache," Vince added, "sore throat."

"So not the stomach flu," Luke said brightly, "see, that's a win."

"Doesn't fucking feel like a win," Vince grimaced and gagged again, but brought up nothing, "I'm tired."

"Normal tired or gonna-pass-out tired?"

"Luke," Vince squeezed the basket, "shut up, please."

"Okay..." he chewed on his bottom lip, "I'm gonna find you some medicine. Put on the sweats, seriously, it's like thirty degrees here."

Leo, thankfully, had medicine. His was just for motion sickness, but Lucas grabbed a handful of pills, then got fever medication next door with Spencer, even if the guy refused to look him in the eye ever since Lucas' had nearly broken his nose by accident.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought of how glad he was that college was ending. He'd miss all of this, but clearly, things were running their course.

He opened the door to find all the lights out, Vince curled up on his side. Now with the sweats on.

"Got the meds, how are you feeling?"

"I don't think..." Vince bent over the side of the bed, spitting up another weak stream of vomit, "I can play tomorrow."

The admission was more scary than anything. Lucas nodded worriedly, "yeah, I don't think so either... " he sat on the edge of the bed, planting a hand on Vince's forehead, "I think your fever's settled down, though. For now."

"Thanks, doc" Vince grumbled sarcastically, then let out a small whimper, "can you... Can you get in here?"

"Where?" Lucas frowned, planting the medicine on the bedside table, "Vin?"

"I just don't wanna be alone right now, I feel fucking awful."

"Oh..." Lucas' cheeks burned. It wasn't the first time they had shared a bed, but rarely did Vince ever actively invite him into cuddles, "sure. Let me just clean this bin out. Please try the water again?"

"Water's not magic, you know?" Vince scoffed, but did take a small sip. Lucas stripped down his own shoes and clothes, changing into the old hoodie and turning up the heat just a little bit, though he was pretty sure he wouldn't need it since Vince was a furnace.

"So how do you-" he didn't get to ask how Vince wanted to cuddle, the big guy rolled over and then mushed his face on Luke's chest, letting out a painful groan.

Against his hip, Luke could feel Vince's stomach gurgle sickeningly, "that cannot be comfortable."

"It is," Vince moved slightly, breathing out, "you're actually really comfy."

Luke's heart ached a little more and he lowered his arm, resting it around Vince's back, "yeah?"

"Stop sounding smug, I will throw up on you."

"I think you're gonna do that regardless, dude," Luke chuckled, closing his eyes, "you're overheating me."

"Deal with it," Vince sighed, yawning, "thanks, Luke."

"Uhm, anytime," Lucas shrugged, yawning himself.

[anightskiss]

ACT 1: FATE

On June 19, 2023, I finally fell in love for the first time.

BANG. A bullet erupts into thin air, briskly. I find myself, dovetailing the crowd, horror struck of seeing children wail in terror as their Mother’s held onto their delicate, decorated souls, frightened by the sound. Daylight, squeals into a burning film reel. Tears, bleeding over the concrete, with fallen angels, asleep with no armor.

BANG. Another bullet erupts, in fear of my own life, I open a canvas of broken pastels on the floor, bleeding the Da Vinci Code. The announcement bleeds through the speakers:

“How can we all move forward as a people, if we are walking ten steps back every-time?”

The crowd, drowning within the dreadful terror of their own creation, like a soldiers song scuffling to save fate. I eventually find myself by a grocery store, with my throat drier than the Sun-Saharan, with my demeanor on the surface.

“What would my family do if they found me, brutally murdered by those of mine on Television?” I pondered. Hope deflated, I find myself at the till.

“That’ll be $5 Sir.” I open my wallet, give her $10, and leave the store, leaving my change in her pocket, because the change I wanted was in society.

I find a beautiful Columbian woman with red hair wearing a Columbian crop top with AirPods on. I think to myself:

“She must love music as much as I do.”

Like a montage, my mind sequences a paradise of my desire to learn her name, lying down in my own fear of rejection. I imagined, emptying out a floral boutique, so I could kiss her hand and tell her she’s mine. But, time moved far too slow, I didn’t want her to pass, without awareness of me… but, i found myself, shy, cloaked within the mirror of my own sanity.

Finally, a man approaches by calling her: knowing she couldn’t hear, I approach her and tell her the man is calling her. The man asks:

“Do you know how I can get to a bowling alley? I’m trynna go out with my lady tonight.”

He then points at both of us:

“Are y’all together?”

She replied:

“No, we just met.”

With an infectious smile.

The woman the man was with then comments on her tshirt.

“You’re Columbian?”

She nods her head, I think to myself:

“I’ll relegate the rest of my life in that woman’s hands. “

I say this every-time i meet a new woman. I baffle myself with the recollected silence of awe, as my jaws grace the floor.

“But this time, she’s different.”

I’ve said this before. I know. But, haven’t pursued any of those relationships to the fullest degree. It usually feels like my mental re-wiring takes place once I drown myself in infatuation.

But, the foreboding entrapment of reality reminded me I wasn’t even talking to her.

The ice was finally broken. I had to continue this conversation, after the man got her number.

“I should of gotten her number.” I thought to myself.

We speak. Briefly.

“So what you doing tonight?”

I could tell she had to leave somewhere, it was communicated through her eyes. But, still adamant on communicating with her.

“Probably gonna get to my apartment in DTLA & chill, what about you?”

My mind didn’t want to accept the idea that she was interested in me.

“Probably gonna go home and write, we should probably join them at the alley, and talk more.”

My heart races, with my eyes deflating. She smirks at me.

“I would go, but ain’t got a ride.”

My mind, at this height, startled.

“I could take you, it’d be a pleasure.”

She rejects the regard, as we’ve just met, I thought.

“I’m sorry, I gotta get back home to my boyfriend. He might have plans.”

Pretending to be unconcerned. I reply:

“I respect that.”

Knowing her response would haunt me, worse than the gun fire that brushed the air.

“Well, since he got your number, can I have your number too?”

I give her my phone.

“I’ll give you my Instagram instead.”

Wishing to cry right there and there, feeling like a failure once more. She then prepares to head off.

“It was great meeting you, but I gotta go.”

I saw her instagram, scrolled through there and there. Gawking at masterpieces created by this woman. I find myself in love, on the most tragic day. Originally I was supposed to meet with another woman, but the grace of the heavens didn’t see fit.

Months later, she posts a video of her singing on her story. I heart it, repost, dumbfounded. Eventually, I draw the courage to ask her out on Instagram, as she tells me she wants to feature on someone’s record. I imagine her vocals collaborating with mine, like a roulette. I make sure to take my time to reply, so I look cool. Finally I draw my courage to ask her out. Deleting every single attempt of the message, time and time again, as I’ve already engulfed upon the future we could share.

“Hey, I’m hoping you stay safe during this whole ass hurricane & have yourself a marvelous week filled with internal bliss. I get back to LA, on Sunday, and it’s my friends birthday & a celebration that I’m coming back after everything I went through, but I’d love to see you sometime next week, if you free :)”

She replies,

“Thank you, what’d you have in mind?”

I romanticize the meet up. I find myself thinking of the perfect reply.

“Well, I was hoping maybe you could join my friends and I one day, at my place… watching movies on the rooftop with the projector. I was hoping maybe, I could cook up some seafood, and have some ice cream after, do you have a preference?”

She didn’t reply.

ACT 2, The frustration of Patience.

FALLEN ANGELS ‘墮落天使’ dir. Wong Kar-wai

[miraculouscontent]

After reading that, I think it's safe to say that Miraculous Ladybug is more of a horror/psychological thriller than romance/comedy. And now I want an AU where Marinette takes the earrings off and realizes that they're messing with head

Marinette felt strange, and after getting used to the feeling of being on the Startrain, she knew it wasn't the cause. She felt lighter - less restricted - somehow, and while a part of her had expected that due to handing off the ladybug miraculous, it wasn't in the way she'd expected.

Once she was done sending Alya all the Ladybug tips, Marinette had figured they'd start talking about Adrien or what their next scheme would be once she got back, but she ended up finding the idea tiring. It was odd in the way that finding something in her room just slightly out of place would be (at least before the kwami began living there).

Everything she'd thought she might feel - anxiety over what could go wrong while she was gone, concern over how the kwami were doing in her absence, and longing for who she'd pictured as the love of her life - wasn't there. It felt completely unlike her, just as it felt unlike Alya to not reply to her messages considering how much she liked to be on her phone.

Abandoning the idea of texting Alya for now, she closed their conversation and idly started browsing her phone. Even still, the weird feeling didn't cease and her hero senses were going off.

Something was wrong, or... maybe right? It wasn't as if she was feeling anything bad, but she felt entirely different than when she was in Paris. It was hard to get a gauge on exactly how she should take it.

Marinette glanced at her parents, catching herself frowning before they could glance back. She looked at her phone, acting like nothing was wrong and idly scrolling through her various apps so as to look busy. In the process, she stumbled upon her gallery, finding her mass of Adrien images inside. It took up a majority of her pictures, and she found herself blushing in embarrassment rather than fondness.

Did she really have this many normally? How much time had she taken getting them?

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, thrown off by just how different she felt. The reaction to seeing Adrien that she'd normally have where she'd lose all focus had virtually disappeared, and the only reason she'd missed it at all was because it gave her an absurd amount of mental clarity concerning how she'd be acting otherwise.

Clarity...

The word brought a particular face to her mind: pink lips, blue eyes, and black hair highlighted blue at the tips. Marinette ran her fingers through her own hair, ruffling it as she tried to piece out how she was feeling. All she knew was that - whatever it was - it was significant and she didn't have Tikki to vent to.

Though perhaps she wouldn’t had much to provide anyway.

A mix of trepidation and curiosity filling her. Switching away from her gallery, she went back to her conversations and pulled up her texts with Luka. Despite her confusion over whatever was happening to her at the moment, she managed a smile at Luka's contact image staring fondly at her.

After a moment of consideration, she typed out:

Hey. Sorry if you're busy. Thought we could talk?

That done, she navigated back to her gallery to look at all her Adrien pictures. She shifted in her seat again, as if it would change things or help her mind adjust to the unfamiliar sensation. It wasn't like looking at Adrien didn't make her feel anything at all, but that feeling could only be described as "normal," like the way she saw him before he'd given her that umbrella.

Before she officially became a ladybug holder who agreed to protect the people of Paris...

Her lips twitched in hesitant thought, her thumb brushing against her screen as she skimmed through the assortment of Adrien pictures. Her brain registered a feeling - or rather, lack thereof - and the foreign emotions encouraged her to act.

She tapped the garbage can icon experimentally, a notification popping up accordingly and asking her if she'd like to delete the picture. She brought the phone closer to her chest, like she felt she was doing something wrong, yet there was only a second of pause before she confirmed the decision.

She watched as Adrien disappeared, a message indicating that the picture had been trashed.

Marinette blinked at the message until it had timed out, bringing her back to the gallery. She was frozen in place, her fingers twitching against the side of the phone as she processed what she'd just done.

Then, she did it again. She tapped on another picture of Adrien, a weird mix of eagerness and interest urging her thumb along as she pressed the garbage can icon again, confirming the decision just as quickly.

Just before the image disappeared, a stray thought said aloud in her mind: black hair and blue eyes would've worked better for an outfit like that.

This time, her body finally moved, a shudder going up her spine as she took in a breath. Her eyes darted over to her parents, knowing how strange this must look to them, but they weren't watching her anyway, meaning the moment was kept firmly in her own personal bubble. It was so odd; normally, someone would've seen her acting off, or laughed and made muttering comments about it.

But nothing was happening, and she didn't know whether to question it or not.

Marinette glanced back at her phone, almost challenging herself as she started to run through the assorted Adrien pictures. She could've thrown them in the metaphorical bin all at once, but instead, she went one-by-one. She waited for something to break, either a sense of regret to settle in over the deletion or for her heart to start fawning over the face on screen, but neither happened.

She was in control, and it felt good. Really, really good.

Part of her felt like she was being ridiculous. The idea of getting some kind of emotional high out of deleting a few pictures sounded stupid, and yet she felt powerful. It was like a veil had been lifted and suddenly she had choices.

If her parents saw her visibly vibrating in her seat, she didn't hear them make mention of it.

The only thing that made her snap out of her rapid thumb movements was a text notification at the top of her screen, and only due to the flash of black, blue, and white. Her lips curved into a smile, originally being pressed together in focus, and she clicked to open her text messages with Luka.

Hey, Marinette. I'm not busy at all. What's up?

She felt warm, knowing that the guy who always made her feel comfortable and happy was on the other line. it was such a shame that they hadn't been able to work it out because of Adrien.

Marinette paused just as she went to reply, those thoughts catching up to her as she remembered that day with Luka underneath the bridge. She'd been so sure that she'd had to break up with him because of Adrien, but as she purposefully tried to recall the memory, something registered like a mental fog clearing in her mind.

Hadn't it actually been her responsibilities as Ladybug that had done it? In fact, that added up alongside all of the other memories of his akumatization; she hadn't been ditching him during their dates out of discomfort or her crush on Adrien, but because of akuma and sentimonsters.

How could she have forgotten? Or rather, how could she have remembered otherwise?

Marinette just barely managed to snap herself out of her trance, her phone having dimmed from inactivity and the sight of her furrowed brows and worried frown staring back at her from the blackened screen. She blinked rapidly, then shook her head to clear herself of the unnerving thoughts.

Lighting her phone back up, she hurriedly typed back as she realized she'd left Luka on read, trying to ignore the way her thumbs shook.

Nothing much.

She hesitated, already seeing him typing back. Guilt burrowed around in her stomach, knowing very well that it was not "nothing" but being unable to properly convey what was going on to him when she didn't even understand it herself.

She typed again, his own typing ceasing to let her add to her comment.

Actually, I've been thinking a bit lately. I'm going to be in London for a while and I'm on the train ride there right now. It's given me some time to myself and it's... weird.

I'm sorry, I know that doesn't make sense.

Even though he hadn't replied, she knew he was taking her seriously as he was typing back.

It makes sense. Background music doesn't work for everyone.

Marinette realized that her shoulders had been tense when they relaxed at his message. She pressed her lips together, feeling vaguely like she didn't deserve him and pushing down the thoughts just as quickly. He'd never approve of that kind of talk.

My head's just been a bit of a mess. Or... not a mess? Things were really foggy but I didn't realize that they were? It's like I'm thinking clearer but I don't know if I like everything that came with that.

What was the phrase? Ignorance is bliss? She had no idea where these changes were coming from, but something had indeed changed and she didn't know the significance of it. She was indeed happy that she felt so in control now over her thoughts on Adrien, but why now? What caused it, and what about her memories?

Would it go away?

Marinette shuddered at the idea, but tried to focus on her conversation with Luka. Having a crisis wasn't going to do her any good, and he was there with her, even if only through text.

I can't know what you're going through, but I think I get it.

-

You do?

-

Yeah. Do you remember my birthday, when everyone heard about my dad being Jagged Stone?

He already continued typing, so she just nodded even if he couldn't see it. She'd only been with Juleka when the reveal had happened, but she imagined it'd been just as much of a shock for her as it'd been for them. She couldn't even imagine when Luka could've learned about it.

Wait--no, she'd already known, actually, hadn't she? He'd been akumatized and had gone after Jagged, and she'd been there when he forced Jagged to tell him the truth about being his father.

Marinette winced at the filling of a gap in her memory that she hadn't realized had been there. Once again, she'd remembered something that she couldn't fathom having forgotten or misremembered, even with how spotty her memory could be under normal circumstances.

She turned towards the back of her seat and the window, trying to isolate herself so it felt like just her, her phone, and Luka. She desperately needed his texts as a distraction.

I'd wanted to know who my dad was for so long, but learning that it was my favorite musician all this time was a lot. I had to redo all the notes I’ve ever written about him, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it for a while.

He kept typing after that, and she merely stroked the side of the phone with her thumb as some form of support, even knowing that he couldn't know about it.

But I'm glad I knew in the end. He's doing his best to make up for all the lost time, and I don't have to go on never knowing what that song would've sounded like.

Their situations weren't exactly the same, but it was enough to reach her deep down. Whatever her situation was, if it really did mean something, she'd rather know it was there than go on never knowing. She hated the idea of being left in the dark, just as she hated being lied to.

As she took a calming breath, she found it in herself to type back.

I'm glad you know too. You deserve people who make you happy, Luka.

-

Thank you, Marinette. You do too, and I hope that whatever you're going through goes at least as well as it did for me.

-

Thanks.

She bit her lower lip at her reply, which felt clipped in tone even though she hadn't meant it that way. She just had too much on her mind and it was hard to think about what emotion was coming across when she was typing to him.

She tapped away at the on-screen keyboard, hopefully before he could think anything in particular about it.

Sorry.

Though she wanted to explain further, she wavered, her legs bending as she curled further in on herself. The conversation had already been so deep and she didn't want to make it worse.

But just as she debated on dismissing her feelings and insisting that he not worry about her, the memories that had been cleared up from before came back to her, reminding her of a warm hug on top of a bridge.

"When you're ready, I'll be here, Marinette."

She inhaled shakily, but steadied herself immediately afterwards, letting the warmth of the words calm her. Luka was there for her and she trusted him.

She was ready.

...I'm scared, Luka. I thought I had my clarity, but I don't. Something's wrong.

Then, almost on cue, the train screeched to a halt, jostling her out of her seat as the lights went off. The simultaneous sound of phones ringing followed soon after.

—————

Marinette held her breath, crouched down in the restroom while she listened closely for the sound of her parents' footsteps. Her throat let out a whine, but she managed to keep it silent enough to where she was sure that no one on the other side of the door would hear it. She'd have to leave eventually or risk being cornered, courtesy of the power being off and the restroom's lock being electronic, but she felt safe enough to pull out her phone.

She also set it on vibrate just in case.

There was a reasonable concern at first that Luka's texts would indicate that he'd fallen victim to the akuma, but what she found when she checked their conversation reassured her.

Marinette!

Is everything okay?

Did the akuma's power reach you? Did they call you too?

Marinette?

The panic in simple letters on a screen made her feel noticed and loved. Keeping enough of her focus on potential footsteps approaching outside the door, she typed out a reply:

Sorry. I had to run from my parents.

I'm okay. What about you?

-

You're alright. I'm so glad.

I'm okay too. I hid somewhere and I doubt anyone can find me.

-

That's good. Be careful.

-

You too.

She took another breath, certain she'd be captured soon if the akuma wasn't taken care of. The train was limited and there weren't many places to go, so unless she could find a blunt object to smash her parents' phones, she was at a loss.

Regardless, Luka was there, her phone vibrating as he added onto his previous text:

I know this isn't the time, and I hate that the akuma cut into the song we were writing, but I'm here for you, Marinette. Whatever's going on, I'll help you figure it out as long as you want me with you.

Her heart fluttered pleasantly, a pink blush even tinting her cheeks. She welcomed it, unlike the fear that'd come with the changed memories. Feeling the way she did for Luka was too natural to be afraid in any way.

Thank you, so much. You're the only one I could trust with something like this.

She meant it. She'd trusted Alya with her identity in a moment of weakness, and even passed the ladybug earrings to her, yet that somehow paled in comparison to the emotions she was choosing to share. Luka would take her seriously, she was sure, even if she came up with the craziest theory in the world for why her feelings and memories were the way they were. He wouldn't doubt her, or laugh, or dismiss her as "Marinette being Marinette."

And as she sat there, completely without a miraculous or any way to get back to Paris without help, she reached up with her free hand and tugged at her earlobe, processing what she could with the information she had as one such theory started to form in her head. The fear from before never quite went away, but the idea of figuring things out with Luka brought her a sense of comfort.

Though perhaps, when she got back to Paris, she would take back her miraculous with a sense of hesitance that she hadn't had before, and there would be some testing that followed after the fact, because there were two things she refused to give up from her experience on the train.

Her sense of freedom and choice, and the feelings for Luka that she can't believe she ever questioned.

Or, if her working theory was correct, that her miraculous had her question.

[illicitlimerence-writes]

close friends | t. holland

pairing: tom holland x fem!reader word count: 3.1k warnings: some language, some angst if u squint. otherwise it's just fluff and tom being tom. didn't proofread this. a/n: so tumblr decided to be a little bitch and deleted this t w i c e. so i had to write this t h r e e times. this came up in my head after i got like three notifications that tom posted something on his ig story, and then it turned out he deleted them. as always, english isn't my first language so i'm sorry if this gets confusing bye. also, i was listening to cardigan by taylor swift as i wrote this.

my masterlist

so we all know tom sucks at instagram. that's a surprise to literally no one. no matter how many times you tried to teach him he still doesn't get it, and it was only a matter of time before he finally posted something he shouldn't have.

it was just one of those days, you missed him like hell. he was away filming the third spiderman, and you had to stay behind because of work.

naturally, you relied on face time and texts to survive and fill the void he left behind. you loved talking to him, listening as he rambled on and on about his adventures on set. a love-struck look on your face as you tried your hardest to stay awake despite the urge to close your eyes.

eventually, sleep took over you, and you drifted off with the sound of his voice lulling you to sleep. he stopped talking abruptly when he didn't hear your soft chuckling in reply to the story he was telling.

instead, he saw your sleeping figure, long steady breaths moving your chest up and down. and he cursed himself for making you stay up so late for him. he took one last look at you, taking a screenshot of your sleeping form.

he quickly hung up the video call and opened instagram instead, uploading the screenshot to his story,

'missing my favorite girl, thank you so much for everything you do for me. x @yourusername'

the next morning you woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. at first, thought someone had died as one notification after another filled your screen. most of them came from instagram, so you opened that app first.

thousands upon thousands of mentions, tags and new followers. you frowned, and suddenly a text from your friend popped up at the top of your screen.

'omg just saw his story. so happy for u both'

who's story? what was going on?

you refreshed your timeline, and tom's icon appeared, a colorful circle around it. an odd feeling sank in your stomach. you tapped his icon and suddenly your screen was full of... you.

a picture of you, sleeping. tom's smiling form in a small rectangle on the bottom right corner.

oh god. you read the words he wrote, over and over again. your heart pounding in your chest, and a sudden wave of fear ran through your body. but then you read his words once more, and all you could feel was love. pure, unconditional affection.

sure, your families and closest friends knew about you, but you hadn't talked about making your relationship public yet, but there was nothing you could do now.

you sighed, leaning back on your pillows. a small chuckle left your throat.

you grabbed your phone once again, quickly facetiming tom. you knew he had an early call today, and you hoped you could catch him while he was still in his hotel.

it ran once, twice, and then you saw him, hair all over the place, bare chest. hands rubbing sleep off of his face.

"mornin', darling." he said, his raspy morning voice making you smile.

"hi, baby. did i wake you?" you asked, sitting up and crossing your legs.

"yeah but it's fine, princess. i did keep you up last night so it's only fair."

"i'm sorry about falling asleep on you, that was a really nice picture you took last night," you lifted one eyebrow, and watched as he smiled at you sheepishly.

"i thought you looked really pretty, you always look pretty," he said, grabbing the water bottle on his nightstand and taking a swing.

"thanks, i hope the whole world thinks so, too," you declared. leaning your chin on your fist, watching him expectantly.

he did not react like you had expected him to.

his breath hitched as he sipped his water, and suddenly all you could see was the cream-colored ceiling, as you heard him spitting out and coughing.

"tom! oh, my god! are you okay?" you asked, getting on your knees and holding your phone up to your face, "tommy?" you repeated when he finally stopped coughing, you could now hear his heavy breaths.

at last, you saw his curls appear from the bottom of the screen.

"wh-what did you just say?" his voice was rough, his chest heaving.

"are you okay?" you asked again.

"ye-yeah i'm fine. babe, what did you mean by 'the whole world'? did something happen?" he asked, frowning. you echoed his expression, watching him for a second.

“you posted a picture to your story,” you repeated, and he nodded.

“yeah, i posted it to my close friends, i-” he stopped mid-sentence, eyes growing comically wide. “oh shit, did i-” he caught himself off as he threw the phone to one side, you heard him fumbling around for his laptop and you snorted. “shit, baby, don’t tell me i posted it… fuck!” you couldn’t keep it in any longer, you broke out laughing.

“of course this is how the world finds out about us!” you continued giggling until your stomach hurt.

“fuck, princess i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to, i swear i- why are you laughing!?”

“tommy, tommy! it’s okay, baby, don’t worry. i’m not mad,” you stopped once you noticed his pouting. “it’s fine, my love, i don’t mind. sure it’s unexpected, and a little sudden but i wouldn’t have it any other way. i knew what i was getting into when we started dating,” you told him honestly, wishing you were there to give him a hug and kiss him all over.

“darling, i’m really, really sorry. i swear i thought i tapped the green button like you told me to” he continued his sulking, nervous eyes glancing back and forth from his laptop screen to you.

“i know, baby, i know this is not your forte, and i really appreciate the sweet gesture, honestly. i love you so much,” you told him as you bit your lip. folding your legs to your chest, wrapping one around them.

“god, i love you. i swear i’ll make it up to you,” he ran his hand through his hair, giving you a quick peek of his bare chest.

“i’ll hold you to it,” you chuckled, you glanced to the clock on your nightstand, sighing when you saw the time. “i’ve gotta go,” you said as you stood up and stretched. a wicked idea ran through you head. “i’ve got like five meetings today, so i’ll probably be busy most of the day. just in case i don’t reply or something,” you made up you lie quickly. grabbing your laptop and opening a new tab.

“oh, okay. i’ll be on set until like 1 am, so we’ll talk tomorrow?” he asked, eyes bright. you nodded, biting your lip.

“definitely. i love you,” you blew him a kiss. he smiled, and you felt your heart swelling.

“i love you, too. good luck today!” he said as you reluctantly hung up the call.

you immediately got to work, calling your assistant and telling her you were taking a few personal weeks, and to email you in case of emergencies. next, you texted harry, asking him to call you once tom was busy on set.

you waited for the page to load, and once you had bought your one-way ticket to atlanta you hurriedly threw some pre-planned outfits into two suitcases, just in case. your phone rang and harry’s face popped up on your screen. you quickly answered the call, and let him know of your out-of-the-blue plan. he agreed to meet you at the airport and drive you to set. and because of your recent and sudden rise to fame, he suggested you wear all black and a cap. you followed his advice, throwing on some sunglasses as well, as you had seen tom do many times before.

once you reached the airport and checked-in, you bought some coffee and breakfast, as well as some food for the flight. you opened instagram, seeing all the messages and comments. you had seen how the fans reacted when their favorite celebrities announced a relationship, and you knew to expect the meanest comments, and even death threats. for your own sake and peace of mind, you allowed yourself to scroll until you read three of those, and closed the app.

once the plane took off, you tried to catch some sleep, preparing for the inevitable jet lag, but your mind kept buzzing from one scenario to another. so you took out your book and tried to read some chapters, putting in your earbuds, music playing quietly.

when you finally, finally landed, you stretched your legs and grabbed your bags, putting on the cap and sunglasses again, you spotted a familiar head of wild curls. you quickly approached harry.

“what happened to all black and a cap to go unnoticed?” you asked as he took one of your bags in his hands.

“think about it, two kids wearing black, a cap and sunglasses? people would think we’re up to no good.” he gave you a tight hug, you’d missed him almost as much as you’d missed tom.

he caught you up on everything he and tom had been doing these past months, you shifted in your seat in excitement, the sleep that was slowly taking over you on the plane had now disappeared from your body.

in what was probably a 15 -but to you felt like five- minute drive, you got to the hotel to leave your bags and take a quick shower. harry left you alone in tom’s room, making his way to his own room next door. he said he’d order something for you to eat whilst you got ready to see tom.

you took the quickest shower ever known to humankind, and when you walked out of the bathroom after using tom’s shampoo and conditioner, -you’d missed his smell all over you. the few forgotten hoodies and shirts that were once drenched in the smell of his soap and cologne, were now very faint.- you wrapped a bathrobe around your body, rummaging through tom’s clothes until you found one of his shirts.

you pulled it close to your face, sighing at the familiar scent you’d missed so much. you got dressed quickly, grabbing your now fully-charged phone and the key to tom’s room that harry had left on a coffee table. you knocked on harry’s door and he let you in.

“i just texted tom, he says they’ve got like three hours left.” you sat next to him on the couch, the table in front of you filled with food waiting to be devoured.

“my poor baby, they overwork him,” you pouted, reaching for one of the plates.

“it was his idea, said he’ll do anything that helps finish filming sooner.” you stopped chewing your food.

“wait, really?” you asked in disbelief, you knew tom loved his job, and you found it odd that he wanted to cut his time on set short.

“yeah, it’s been rough for him. not having you around, i mean, after he spent months with you. he’s been pretty distracted lately. messing up lines, he’s been waking up late and missing early calls...” your heart sank at the words. you ate the rest of your food with a knot in your stomach, cursing yourself for not getting there sooner. soon enough, you were back in the car, your leg bouncing up and down. you fell asleep on your way to set, waking up when harry parked the car and nudged your shoulder.

you stepped out carefully, your head turning back every few steps you took, in fear that tom might catch you. once you reached the stage where tom was filming, you flashed the visitor badge harry had given you to the guard and he let you both in. you walked in as you leaned down, your forehead against harry’s back, shielding you from the curious stares. harry told you to hide behind a giant box where they kept some lights whilst he spoke to the director.

although the box was big and tall enough to cover you completely, you crouched down, straining your ears for nearing footsteps. you heard two sets of feet approaching, your heartbeat racing.

you were met with your accomplice, a friendly-looking man behind him. you stood up as they approached you.

“this the girl?” the man asked, and harry nodded, “nice to meetcha, i’m jon.” you shook his hand, “okay, so we’ve cleared tom’s schedule for one week, we’ll need him back fully recharged and ready to work like it’s his first day on set, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, if it means he’ll work better if you’re here you can stay until we're done. i really don’t mind, i just need my guy back.” you blinked at his words, nodding slowly. “we’ve got a couple hours left tonight, i’m all up for some cheesy reunion, but it’ll have to be when we’re finished, i can barely keep him focused as it is.”

with that he left, and harry led you to tom’s trailer, where you caught some sleep while you waited. like that morning, you woke up to your phone buzzing. you reached for it, sleep leaving your body as you read the text.

‘just finished filming for the night, i’m exhausted. miss u, love you. x.’

all rational thoughts left your head, you opened the door to tom’s trailer and sprinted out of there until you reached the set. your eyes finally, finally met his figure, and tears filled your eyes.

your legs moved on their own accord, you mumbled apologies as you crashed into people, but you didn’t care. tom had his back to you, and even though he wasn’t wearing the spiderman costume, you’d recognize that ass anywhere.

“tom!” you called out, stopping a few feet away from him. you saw him whipping his head around, eyes scanning the sea of people. you made your way up to him, “tommy!” you repeated, and he finally turned around.

his mouth wide opened in disbelief, arms twitching, feet running towards you as you did the same. you crashed into each other, your legs wrapping around him, arms around his neck, fingers curling on his soft hair. his hands running all over your back, your hair. pulling you as close as humanly possible.

whispers of ‘i love you’, ‘god, i missed you’, ‘never leave me again’, and ‘i promise’ were exchanged. you tightened your hold on his hair, pulling back to look at him.

“hi,” you whispered, your nose brushing his.

“hey,” he replied, burying his face on your neck again, pressing small kisses anywhere he could reach. his hands settled on the back of your thighs as he spun you two. you giggled, sniffling as a few tears escaped your eyes.

you could not care less about the people around you, all you could think about was the boy wrapped all over you, your favorite boy. tom led you back to his trailer, where you finally untangled yourself from him. he settled you down and you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him close to you again.

you had been starved of his touch for so long, there was no way you were letting him go anytime soon.

after many kisses, touches, tears, promises and more kisses, you left for the hotel. harry had already left, getting a ride from another cast member to leave you two alone. at that moment you swore you’d make him godfather of your firstborn child.

as you waited for tom to step out of the shower -you would’ve joined him, but three showers in a day seemed kind of excessive-, you laid down on the bed, throwing the covers over your body, tom's scent engulfing you. you breathed in happily. you tapped on your phone, replying to some work emails when you received a text from harry.

‘i believe the ball is in your court. you’re welcome.’

next, you received a picture of you and tom. harry must’ve taken the picture when you and tom were too lost in each other to even notice anyone around you. in the picture, your legs are around tom, bodies pressed closed together, your noses touching as you stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. it was a beautiful picture. and the black and white filter harry had applied to it made it seem like one of those old pictures of wives reuniting with their spouses after the war.

you smiled, heart swelling with emotion as you contemplated your options. you hummed quietly, tapping the instagram logo and waiting for the app to load.

you quickly uploaded the picture harry sent you tagging both him and tom and adding a quick caption before you shut down your phone. you were drifting off to sleep when you felt familiar arms around you.

you leaned into tom’s touch, your back resting against his chest, legs tangling with his as he interlocked his fingers with your own.

“thank you so much for being here, my love. i love you,” tom whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“i’ll be here whenever you need me. i’ll always come back to you.” you turned around, facing him. you kissed the corner of his lips, and he cupped your cheek, his lips meeting yours in a slow kiss, filled with emotion. your fingers played with his fingers as you moved to straddle his waist. “i love you,” you broke the kiss reluctantly. as much as you both wanted to make love that night, you’d made it your top priority that tom took his time off to rest as much as he could, and that included that first night.

you gave him one last kiss, going back to your previous position. the familiar and comfortable weight of his arms around you, the feeling of his lips on your neck, his chest rising and falling against your back, you couldn’t ask for anything better.

the peaceful environment you had created suddenly burst like a bubble as tom’s phone pinged over and over again. you heard him grunting, arms reluctantly leaving you.

tom chuckled, putting his phone on do-not-disturb and throwing it somewhere on the bed.

“you’re perfect for me, my favorite girl.” you smiled, leaning into his touch as he kissed you all over. sleep quickly taking over both of you.

tom swore his heart stopped when he’d seen the picture you posted. you’d never looked more beautiful than when you were staring up at him, your bottom lip between your teeth. the words you wrote as a caption were the last thing on his brain as he finally succumbed to sleep.

‘i said, “i bet you can’t keep this a secret for five months.” he said, “darling, i won’t make it past three.” @ tomholland2013 it’s been 10 months, who won?’

edit: i just saw henry cavill's ig post and omg what is my life. pls respect celebrities' privacy and relationships.

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

Online shipping, the fetishisation of gay men, and the romanticisation of queer trauma

An essay by me!

Word count: 2.8k

A link to the Google Doc version of this essay.

A big thank you to my friends Nathan @themeerkatnate, Mav @not-mavv , and Duke @dukedark-ness for reading this essay and giving me their thoughts as mlms on the topic. Make sure to check out their blogs and give them a follow!

So I was on a lovely website by the name of Twitter.com yesterday, just scrolling through while having my afternoon cup of coffee, when I saw that viral post of a girl reading a Larry fanfic through a classroom projector. I'm sure most of you have seen it. It's gone viral on Instagram, TikTok, and likely Tumblr too, and if you haven't come across it I'm positive you will soon.

Now, after getting through my initial reaction to that post which was, holy fuck, that's so embarrassing, I had a second reaction of... wait, this ship is still around?

And after I had some thoughts on the incredible permanence of some online ships and the weird obsolescence of others, I did get to thinking of how lots of these popular ships seem to stem from the same types of perceived relationship dynamics and homophobic stereotypes.

These online fandoms often seem to have an obsession with objects of queer trauma, such as having to hide a relationship, lying about sexuality for self-preservation, and even social rejection. So, after some opinions from my followers and the great archive that is the internet, I've decided to discuss some of the most popular examples of online shipping and the particular nuances they came with.

NOTE: Out of respect for all these people, I won't be sharing viral images or videos of them in perceived romantic proximity (or even kissing, as is applicable for some examples), but I will be describing certain moments I deem to be relevant. So even if you're unfamiliar with them, you won't be confused as to what I'm talking about.

NOTE 2: Although not all people within these fandoms were/are toxic, this essay is focused on the overall toxicity of the fandoms, and how they are toxic more so as a "hive" than as a group of individuals. When I refer to a fandom I don't mean every person involved in the fandom, but rather the collective impact of the group.

 1. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson 

This is arguably the most popular example of online shipping. The absolute permanence of this ship, and how its fandom never seems to fully die off even beyond the lifespan of One Direction as it once stood, is downright impressive.  

I'm going to be the first to admit I was never in the loop with this fandom. My childhood best friend was actually a massive Larry shipper and asked me to beta read one of her fics, but that was before I even knew who tf Harry and Louis were! Not because I avoided the fandom or even because I rejected the online shipping, but just by coincidence, I delved into the world of pop punk music right when One Direction began gaining its popularity. I bought my first ever album, Riot by Paramore, in 2011- only a year after One Direction made their X-Factor debut. So, this fandom just bypassed me by a sort of weird coincidence.

But I don't need to be in the loop with this fandom to know the astronomical obsession with these two men, no, these two BOYS, was extremely toxic. In 2010, when One Direction made their debut, Harry Styles was only 16 years old. And Louis Tomlinson wasn't much older at 19! This made the two of them incredibly young when this unprecedented wave of shipping hit the internet, and although that must be traumatising for anyone, I cannot even fathom how overwhelming it must've been for two boys that young.  

I'm 18, almost 19 now, and I cannot begin to imagine how scary it was for the two of them to have their every interaction nitpicked within an inch of its life by thousands upon thousands of people online. I do not know this myself, but from numerous recounts by some of my followers, this massively impacted Harry's and Louis' nondescript relationship in real life, seemingly driving the two previously close friends apart. 

Now, before we move on, there's something we need to talk about. And that is the obsession with the dominance/submission dynamic within the world of gay shipping. 

With almost every popular mlm (an acronym meaning man-loving-man) ship based on real people, it seems that fandoms have a particular fascination with power imbalances in these relationships. You don't even need to look at the insane amount of fanfictions based on BDSM to figure this out. In almost all of the examples I'll be citing today, there is an age gap within the perceived relationship and a person the fandom has seemingly decided to be the top/dominant figure. 

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are 3 years apart in age. Although it isn't all that relevant now, an age gap of 3 years when you're in your late teens is a lot more significant. In 2012, for example, when this shipping really started gaining traction, Harry Styles was 18 and Louis Tomlinson was 21. That power imbalance, albeit not that significant, is enough for a fandom to latch on to. We'll see this a lot more in the coming example with Dan and Phil.

 2. Dan Howell and Phil Lester

It's impossible to have a discussion about internet shipping without talking about Dan and Phil.

 Dan Howell and Phil Lester, although being popular YouTubers individually, are arguably one of the internet's most iconic duos. The two creators published their first videos together in 2009, and while their relationship was already a motive of speculation back then, the peak of the "Phan" shipping definitely came in the 2013-2016 era of Tumblr.

Now, I'm going to admit… I was actually on Tumblr when that happened. 

The 2013-2016 period perfectly aligns with my middle school days (I started middle school in 2013 and high school in 2016), and I was not only on Tumblr back then, but I was on Wattpad too! Again, this wasn't a fandom I had much contact with as I had a huge anime phase in middle school and I was on Tumblr posting mainly photography and Soul Eater content more than anything. 

But I did watch some of Dan and Phil's videos! And the occasional "Phan" content did not completely evade me as one of my closest friends in middle school had a fanchat for them. I wasn't involved in the fandom myself but they were actually one of the few English-speaking YouTubers I watched once in a blue moon (back then I watched mainly Brazilian YouTubers). One thing I did in fact notice over the years, around 2014ish perhaps, was that the two of them seemed to grow increasingly "awkward" around each other, in a way that many folks on the internet thought was reminiscent to Markiplier/Jacksepticeye, two YouTubers who also dealt with extraordinary amounts of shipping.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. The change in Dan and Phil's relationship, at least to the outside world, was clear to almost anyone who watched their videos for a while. I cannot blame them at all. The shipping was nuts. Between the countless fan videos, speculative comments, and insurmountable number of fanfics, there's no way the two of them didn't feel the weight of the shipping. The term "demon phannie" made its way into internet vernacular and there it stayed for years. Even Shane Dawson, who was one of the largest creators on the platform at the time, made several videos speculating on the nature of Dan and Phil's relationship and their sexual orientations. 

There was even porn made in which actors with similar appearances to the creators were made to have sex on camera. 

Now, this is actually a rare example where the two people involved in the ship actually came out as gay once the shipping seemed to die down. I'm incredibly happy Dan and Phil both reached a point where they were comfortable being publicly out, but I hate to say I'm shocked this day ever came. If I'd gone through what the two of them did, I don't know if I'd ever trust the internet. 

And again, this ship's fandom definitely had an obsession with the power dynamics they thought existed between the people within the ship. Dan Howell is 4 years younger than Phil Lester, and was only 18 in 2009, when they started making videos together. From my personal understanding, the shipping was often quite focused on this dominant/submissive dynamic especially in discussions from their early relationship. And this is in no way exclusive to Dan and Phil.

This general fascination with the older man/younger man dynamic, in my opinion, plays into the homophobic stereotype that gay men are predators. The idea that gay men usually seek younger men, and somehow "convince" them to engage in homosexual relationships, is popular homophobic rhetoric. The popularisation, exaggeration, and fetishisation of these power imbalances, in age and/or in relationship dynamics, is directly harmful to the mlm community. 

Not only that, but the romanticisation of a "hidden/forbidden relationship" is also detrimental not only to gay men and the mlm community, but to queer people as a whole. Queer people face huge trauma having to hide their relationships; queer attraction is already a societal taboo. And acting like this is good, or even desirable, is harmful to queer people as a whole, regardless of whether or not it's actually applicable to the people being shipped. It normalises this trauma not only to cisgender, heterosexual people, but to impressionable queer youth who grow to believe this type of trauma is to be expected. 

3. Frank Iero and Gerard Way

This is another example where the perceived power imbalances between the two subjects of the shipping were directly exploited online. Now, this ship did precede the others mentioned above. If we're looking at this topic chronologically, this particular ship did come first in the shipping timeline. It's closer to the origin of the shipping extended universe, if you will.

In case you aren't familiar with them, Frank Iero and Gerard Way are both members of the American emo band My Chemical Romance. This ship is the first one here of which I don't recall the full popularity. It really peaked in popularity around the late 2000s, circa 2008. And I don't remember this moment online as in 2008, I was only 6 years old and believe it or not, I wasn't really all that concerned with rumoured homoeroticism as a first grader. 

However, the popularity of this ship did carry over into the 2013-2015 Tumblr shipping boom. The emo fandom (or "bandom" as it was called) involving not only My Chemical Romance but other similar bands such as Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Pierce the Veil, found its hub on Tumblr. 

During this time, I did in fact listen to this style of music, but was focused a lot more on the anime side of Tumblr as mentioned earlier. Of course, I wasn't 13 years old like, "hey, this type of content might be harmful and can inadvertently perpetuate homophobic stereotypes," I just happened to care more about my silly little anime and ended up not getting involved. 

This ship does involve a discussion that the others don't, however. With Frank Iero and Gerard Way, there is quite often a certain sentiment of, "Oh, they brought this upon themselves!" as the two band members very famously kissed during a show in 2007. In my opinion, though, this doesn't really justify all the obsessive shipping. If you look at Green Day, a band often grouped in with MCR as another famous pop punk group, the members don't follow too different of a trajectory. Billie Joe Armstrong has, on numerous occasions, kissed both of his fellow band members onstage- particularly Tré Cool, the drummer. And Billie Joe Armstrong is openly bisexual, which none of the members of MCR seem to be but some, or even all of Billie's bandmates, are too. 

You'd think Green Day would face a lot more shipping as the more persistent onstage homoeroticism and Billie Joe's openness about his sexuality would warrant more "substantiated" speculation. However, Green Day faces nowhere near as much shipping as My Chemical Romance. Why is this? I actually don't know. It might've been because Green Day has been around for over a decade longer and generally has an older fandom, but I really am not that sure. 

 It could also be because of the lower lack of potential for forced relationship dynamics. The members of Green Day are all less than a year apart in age and are even similar in height. However, Frank Iero is 4 years younger than Gerard Way, who is not only the frontman of My Chemical Romance, but also considered to be the group's intellectual and creative "leader". Even beyond that, Gerard Way is quite visibly taller, and the perceived power difference between the two of them definitely did not elude their fans. 

This difference could even be partly due to the lack of a "mystery" with Green Day. There's not as much to speculate as, well… the members of Green Day are already open about their sexual orientations. It might be that shipping in the Green Day fandom has less of a forbidden appeal for most people. 

Of course, I won't just keep repeating myself, but my previous points about forced relationship dynamics still stand.

4. Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch

Better known for their roles in BBC Sherlock as Sherlock and Watson, Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch unfortunately had their roles follow them well into real life. This is the example I know least about, so have these thoughts from a follower by the name of @indubitably-a-goblin, who had the following to say:

"the main issues i had with it were:

a) they were both married at the time, freeman to amanda abbington and cumberbatch to sophie hunter (in which both had children)

b) the main reasoning for it was their chemistry in the many projects they've done together. which is, shockingly, their Whole Job. They're actors! That's what they're supposed to do! if they weren't good at interacting then they wouldn't be good actors! i don't know how people can't understand this.

c) they're real people. we don't know them. we aren't friends with them. we aren't their family members. we have zero right to be pushing this onto them and ruining their friendship by doing so. (this one relates to most of the ships you've mentioned though)

d) healthy friendships between two men are ignored so plainly in most medias and in fandom. its obvious that these two men have a relationship, but that doesn't mean it's a romantic one.

e) its fine to ship their characters, but actors shouldn't be treated as less-than-human or some sort of prop. they're doing a job, and once they are off-screen, they aren't here for your entertainment."

I believe she did a great job of summing it up on her own, and for the sake of avoiding redundancy, I'll leave it at that!

5. Corpse Husband and Sykkuno- an emerging yet subtle example

I am absolutely positive you remember how popular the game Among Us was a couple of months ago. And with the popularity of this game, some of its most prominent content creators became the targets of online shipping- as is the case with YouTubers and streamers Corpse Husband and Sykkuno. 

Although the shipping involving these two creators is nowhere near as strong as it was/is with the examples above, I do think there is once again a reemergence of a common theme here. Whilst Sykkuno is known for his happy-go-lucky, almost "innocent" persona, Corpse Husband is the antithesis of this, known for his much darker and moodier personality. 

Do I even have to mention what the common theme seems to be?

Again, although the popularity of shipping - at least with real people - seems to have died down a bit since the Tumblr shipping boom of the early to mid 2010s, I do believe this example is worth mentioning. Even though the creators are still close, they have in fact expressed discomfort regarding the shipping, and I can only hope the internet as a whole lets their friendship blossom and exist naturally without obsessive speculation. 

My final thoughts

As explored in the essay:

The romanticisation of objects of queer trauma as a part of online shipping normalises queer trauma to both cishet and queer youth. 

Online shipping, especially at a high intensity, can end up negatively impacting the very relationships they pine over. 

The relationship dynamics often forced on mlm ships perpetuate homophobic stereotypes about non-heterosexual men. 

If anyone else has thoughts on this matter, do share! This essay is moreso an opinionated observational piece and isn't meant to be taken as fact but rather just as my thoughts on the matter. I hope it was useful as a reflective piece regardless!

Date of posting: June 16th 2021

[youngbloodslut]

celebrity crush | 2/??

a/n: the first interview is mostly based off of dove cameron and ava max’s interviews with popbuzz

summary: actress! reader somehow manages to bring up her crush on calum hood in every interview

pairing(s): calum hood x reader, platonic! reader x tom holland

warning(s): swearing? slight mentions of kinks

“She’s at it again mate,” Ashton smirked as he carried his laptop over to Calum who was sat on the sofa. He flipped open the computer and hit play on y/n y/l/n’s newest interview.

“C’mon, I don’t wanna-” Calum rubbed his hand over is face and shook his head.

Ashton ignored him and turned up the volume to drown out his protest. “Shhh.. watch.”

“Hey guys, I’m y/n y/l/n and this is the Pop Buzz Tower of Truth.” You spoke as the title popped up on screen.

“I think I’m gonna end up tipping it before I can even get one block out,” You said as you tried to carefully pull of a wooden block. 

“That will never work,” Calum heard a voice from off camera say and recognized it as Tom Holland. He tried not to frown as you laughed and mocked him.

“Y’know what, we’re leaving that one.” You laughed, leaving the original block alone and easily pulling out another block.

“There we go. Okay, what was the last movie or tv show that make you cry? Dead Poets Society. I love Dead Poets Society so much and Tom had never seen it so we watched it after finishing yesterdays interviews.” You placed the block on top of the tower. “And he cried.”

The camera crew laughed as Tom shouted a, “Hey!”

“Tell us one thing about you that we don’t know. Um, this is hard because I’m always saying stuff that I shouldn’t be. Um, I’m an Oxford comma worshiper.” You said, unsure whether or not that’s interesting enough.

“Oxford comma?” A crew member behind the camera questioned.

“Yeah, y’know, the comma that comes before ‘and’ when making a list. I hate that people don’t use it because then I get all confused. Like if I were to write ‘Lizzie, Tom, and Robert are going to the party’ and I don’t add a comma before ‘and’ then it seems like Tom and Robert would be arriving at the party together. But some people who don’t use the Oxford comma could mean that all three people were showing up separately so I never know. Y’know what I mean?”

The camera crew were all silent after her rant and Calum chuckled a bit to himself. He thought it was cute that you were so passionate about the smallest things. Ashton looked over to him as Calum admired you through the screen. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew Calum secretly liked how much you talked about him.

“No,” Tom responded honestly

“Ugh,” You rolled your eyes dramatically and looked into the camera, “See, these are the type of guys you got to look out for: Un-grammarly men.” You joked.

“Un-grammarly isn’t a thing.” Tom laughed.

“Well if it were a thing, you��d be one.” You fired back at Tom.

“Anyway, who is your favorite artist right now? Um, probably Wallows, I love them and their music.”

“I was really expecting Calum Hood to be honest.” Tom shouted from across the room.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I just forgot about him like that. I love you Calum Hood. I love 5sos.” You held up your hands into a heart shape and moved your hands from side to side. 

You then dropped them and grabbed another block. “Sorry, I keep forgetting that people are actually going to see these interviews. Like, he could literally see this. Dude, I hope he doesn’t.” You paused, “Oh god, do you think he knows about my crush on him?” You had been mentioning him for years and it had never once occurred to you that he could actually see these. 

Calum laughed at the irony of the situation. Here he was watching a video of you saying you hoped he’d never see said video.

“This is humiliating.” You mumbled though you didn’t seem to actually care, “Who was your first celebrity crush? Oh uh, definitely Andrew Garfield. I remember when I first watched the Social Network and I was like obsessed. My friend and I both watched it over 10 times within like two months. And then would continuously make Mark Zuckerberg jokes. But of course, Calum Hood now owns my heart.” You put the block on top of the tower. “I’m actually doing really good, I thought I’d knock it down by now.”

“Describe in detail the worst date you’ve ever been on. Okay so I was like fifteen right, and, well I’m not even sure if this counts as a date. I think he considered it a date so I guess it was but basically we were in the car, he was sixteen so he could drive. We were in the drive through, we had already ordered, and he started feeling around in is pockets and I was like oh god, cause I knew what was about to happen. He was like, ‘oh no i think i lost my wallet’, and I was like its fine I’ll pay. I really didn’t mind. I ended up paying, we got our drinks and without missing a beat, we hadn’t even pulled out of the drive through, he was like’oh here’s my wallet.’ I really didn’t mind paying for my coffee, I wouldn’t mind paying for both of our coffees. But him going out of his way to lie, and then not even lie well, was so irritating.” She placed the block on the top and picked up a new one.

“What is the most useless idem you’ve ever purchased? Um, I bought a seven foot giraffe while I saw drunk once.” The block was added to the top, the tower now taller than you. “He’s in my living room if you wanted to know.”

You grabbed the next block carelessly, immediately regretting it when the tower fell behind you, “Oh shit, well I guess we’re done then.” You said nonchalantly, looking at the blocks on the floor. “I don’t think I’ll be playing this again anytime soon. Love you guys,” You held up your hands, “Love you Calum Hood.” You winked before the outro began to play.

“She must really love you, Cal.” Ashton poked Calum’s cheek annoyingly, “She’s got no shame.”

Calum wouldn’t admit it, but as soon as he got home he looked you up again. He clicked on the same video Ashton showed him and scrolled through the comments. 

y/nscalumhoodkink: MOMOMOMOMOMOM

datemey/n: Queen of Jenga

ashtonfletchersbitch: Y/N LITERALLY IS ME

5esohes: no because y/n y/l/n and calum hood together is my kink

noemptywalletshere: not only does y/n own this fandom, but my ass too

He couldn’t help but laugh at the comments no matter how interesting they were. But something in the back of his head kept yelling at him. She doesn’t acting like you. Shes just likes your music, nothing more. He sighed and clicked out of the video and was about the close his laptop when his cursor handed on a video. 

Y/n Y/l/n foaming at the mouth while talking about Calum Hood for 5 minutes straight.

He clicked on it a little too quickly and waited for it too load. 

“Calum Hood choke me challenge.” You stuck out your tongue and threw up a peace sign with an innocent look plastered on here face. 

“Bro imagine if Calum Hood saw this?” “Oh he would definitely fall for you after this video”

The third thing to pop up was a tweet from 2015 just saying: #marrymecalumhood

“Calum Hood send me hand pics. This is a demand, not a request.”

Calum continued to watch the entire video. Normally, the thirsty comments would have made him uncomfortable, but them coming from you made his heart race and cheeks flush.

God, what was happening to him?