#i scream and whisper just depends on the day

[glitterghost]

Sometimes, fic appreciation is screaming incoherently in comments of a work, or tags of a post, but it's also quietly knocking on the door of an author and confessing to them how much you enjoyed a piece and how it helped you get through the day. Like a secret love letter for them alone. 💌

[caramelkoo]

before we shatter — jjk [two]

genre : established relationship, idol!jungkook

word count : 5.1k

summary : dating an idol is fun, they said. having a family with one is fun, they said. Until you're falling face forward because of your reality. A reality where Jungkook dreams of a future and a reality where your own future is collapsed.

chapter warnings : ANGST, eventual fluff, mentions death of a loved one, mentions of Alzheimer's disease, strong language, mature, cheating (not by the main characters), jungkook will piss you off but he's deserving of love too :((, slight making out but nothing else. i think that's it, please mention if i missed anything.

a/n : OH MY GOD IT TOOK ME FOREVER !!!! here it is my pookies <333 i hope this will heal the past trauma that part one caused yall omfg. i love you so much and send an ask if you want to. You're so so cherished.

Jungkook’s fingers press on the digital lock before it beeps, indicating the door has been unlocked. 

“Babe, I’m home” 

He expects his girlfriend, Nicole to say anything in response but, on the contrary, all he gets is pure silence. Not a single person breathing the same air as him inside the house. His eyebrows crease in utter confusion and he wonders if he she went outside in order to run any errands.

Nicole is a fashion designer who he met when she was appointed to design his concert outfits for the group’s previous world tour. At first, there were some stolen glances, eye contacts, and innocent touches but when he found himself looking for her in the room full of people, it had to be more than that. 

At the risk of sounding like a nervous wreck with zero experience with women, Jungkook had walked back and forth approximately 46 times before he took up the hatchet to ask her on a date, to which she’d smirked and whispered a yes in response.

Listen, Jungkook is a confident man. Add a confident yet adorably shy woman beside him and you have got yourself the perfect mix of charisma and charm. Not to say that he was not totally enthralled by her. He genuinely wanted to get to know her better and that’s not only because she was confident, of course. 

Ordinarily, he’d find her on the couch going through her designs or making herself the 50th cup of coffee. It all really depends, but tonight the eerie silence surrounding him makes his stomach hurt. A nagging feeling arises in his chest and he hopes everything is okay. 

He releases a breath and walks further in towards the bedroom. Who knows, she got tired of working all day and went in there to take a nap. 

Much to his disappointment, just as his hands grip the doorknob, a moan comes from the other side of the wall and he freezes. 

“You’re so good to mommy, aren’t you?” 

He can’t mistake the voice even if he tries to. He hears it all day, every night by his side. 

Nicole has complemented him in every spectrum of their relationship. She’d been equally successful, equally fun and adventurous, and matched every desire and aspirations of his.

Tow bodies, one soul if you will.

Turns out, she lagged behind on the spectrum of honesty. 

Knowing he can’t be just standing there and not find out who she’s been fucking behind his back, he twists the knob and pushes the door open. The moan which earlier caused his heart to momentarily stop now turning into a full blown scream. 

“What the fuck?” 

You might prefer to think that Jungkook was the one to exclaim that, but no. Sitting on the bed with wide eyes and no clothes is his manager, Tae moo. Next to him is Nicole, trying to cover herself up with the help of the duvet as if she’d not spent the majority of nights sleeping beside Jungkook in the very same state after he’d made love to her. 

“Jungkook, baby. I can explain” 

His jaw goes tight, voice turning shaky. “Get out of my house.” 

Fierce eyes are pointed at the manager the whole time and he doesn’t even bother to look at Nicole. As if someone had set his non-existent pants on fire,Tae moo hurries and plucks whatever fabric he can from the floor and rushes outside. 

When Jungkook finally glances at Nicole, she’s got the same look on her face which she does when she wants something from him but can’t get herself to form the words. Desperate and pleading. 

He pinches the bridge of his nose, tone acidic when he asks, “Why are you still here?” 

“What?” 

“Why? Did he fuck the common sense out of you?” 

She blanches at his words, clearly not expecting him to talk like that. “Please don’t talk to me like that. I told you I can explain.”

Jungkook can’t help but let out a chuckle infused with bitterness and disbelief, “What could possibly justify you fucking my manager, Nicole. Were you lonely? Did I not give you enough love and attention? Was my dick not enough for you that you just had to jump on another one?” 

Every word that comes out of his mouth has an intention of hurting the woman in front of him. Standing there when Jungkook tries to figure out any possible cause of this betrayal, he registers something.

While Jungkook was thriving because of the fact that he has a woman who supports him and keeps him on his toes, holds him when the world gets mean to him, the said woman was using him to feed her ego. He had been indispensable for her to gain the popularity that was left for her. The truth that he'd been a ladder all along for her in order to climb till success hits him like a torrent and an ache throbs through his chest. 

“Why would you need another designer when I’m here?”

“Jungkook c’mon, all my friends are gonna be there. Don’t be a spoilsport.” 

“Do they not let you post your girlfriends on your official instagram profile?” 

Everything falls into place like a missing piece of puzzle fitting into space. Additionally, Nicole had not even gotten close with any of Jungkook’s friends’ girlfriends and he’d decided not to dwell on the fact for his own peace.

Arguably, some people just don’t click and that’s fine. Except, those people don’t denounce other women behind their back. Her adulterated personality was oozing out of her and he managed to miss it. 

“I don’t know, babe. Her dress was too revealing. Take it from a fashion designer when I tell you she was not fit for that dress” 

“Isn’t she too touchy with her boyfriend in public? I mean I understand you’re in love but jeez” 

It is often said that when you’re in love, you’re unable to see your lover’s flaws because you get blinded. Blinded by their beauty, their charm, and their affection towards you. Safe to say, Jungkook can relate. 

“Get out”

‘Please just liste-”

His pitch goes higher. “RIGHT.NOW” 

Subsequently, he had been off the market for two whole years. Unfortunately, though, he couldn’t escape the endless amount of impolite and not to mention personal questions about his relationship during the interviews. 

“Jungkook, you were seen coming out of several restaurants and clubs with a woman a few years back, but we’ve not seen her for a while now. Is there something you’d like your fans to know?”  

“The ladies out there are having a field day because it seems our favourite superstar, Jeon Jungkook is single again” 

“Is there any chance of us getting to see the mysterious woman again?” 

Fucking exhausting. 

Then, one fine day, he met you.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

Maybe, the trust issues made home inside of him after he found his ex-girlfriend naked and sweaty on his bed with his manager. Maybe, you can blame it on the fact that he had still not gotten over the agony caused by his past relationship.

It’s almost like the words that come out of his mouth throw him two years back to the very same room where he tasted the vile taste of betrayal. 

“Tell me, honey. Is it the important thing you wanted to talk about but held back just to get a good fuck out of me?” 

The sentence is so absurd and disgusting that you can’t stop your hands from connecting with his face with a hard force. His face turns sideways as his skin stings because of the slap.

“Watch your tone with me, Jeon Jungkook.” The words are barely a whisper as you gulp, flying into a rage and hoping he eats his own words. 

You’re half naked, your hair's a damn mess and you probably have a swollen face with boogers in your eyes, but at this moment, you have to stand up for yourself without caring about any of that. You can’t be the person to take first hand beating of something you haven’t even thought of doing.

When he looks back at you, you wish someone was holding you because your legs feel weak. The look of betrayal and anger is long gone and now the only thing that exists behind those big doe eyes is hurt. A pain which makes you want to disintegrate. 

“Baby, I didn’t mean-”

“You know what, _____? I would have seen this coming. I was a fucking fool to even wish for a normal bond with someone without some shit happening to us.” 

You watch him storm out the door, slamming it so hard it rattles on its hinges after throwing the blue file on the bed. Your feet remain frozen to the wooden floor and you hope he comes running back in, says he’s sorry and he wants to talk it out. 

“Some shit”. He just called the whole situation shit.

A terrible labyrinth of anger, guilt and grief traps you as you find yourself wishing that a tight hug could fix the scattered pieces and mould your relationship back into one beautiful piece.

The words on the report stare back at you as they somehow feel more painful now that your boyfriend is aware of them. He knows he’s got into something he hasn’t signed up for and the thought that before you could even explain everything to him, before you could even tell him that you would rather die but hide anything let alone information as huge as this, he’d walked out. 

Placing the file on the nightstand, you go through your usual morning routine. Take a shower, change into fresh clothes and take your supplements.

Everything is blurry to you, the feeling of loss lingering deep in your chest, slightly aware of the fact that physically, Jungkook is nearby, mentally? You’re not so sure.

Despite your better judgement, you walk towards the kitchen with the motive of making your breakfast and you find Jungkook looking for something under the couch with two suitcases standing in front of the door. Was he gonna leave without letting you know? When did he even pack?

You take a deep breath and release, knowing exactly what he is looking for, “Are you looking for your glasses?” 

He straightens back up and holds your gaze. There’s a bit of delay before his answer reaches your ears. “Yeah um, I can’t seem to find them anywhere” 

A minuscule smile forms on your face, “They’re inside the bedside drawer. I kept them there cause you know, you tend to lose them” 

He doesn’t share the humor as you feel a pang in your chest intensifying. It’s suddenly so quiet that you can hear your as well as his breathing. And it’s uneven. Has your home always been this quiet? 

You clear your throat, eyes finding the suitcases behind him, “Heading somewhere?” 

He does the same and looks back at you. “Yeah uh, you remember Jimin calling me yesterday when we-,” he pauses, “Well, I have to go overseas to promote the album and get done with some other formalities” 

You flash him an understanding smile, feeling utterly shattered inside and not sure if you should ask him as to why he didn't bother to let you know or just let it slide. The question is right at the tip of your tongue but thinking better of it, you gulp it back down. 

“Of course. How long will you be gone?” 

He slides his hands inside his front pockets and sighs, “Probably a week. You can’t be precise when it comes to promotions.” 

“Alright,” you halt, “Uh.. do you want me to get the glasses for yo-” 

“No, I've got it.” He says as he excuses himself. When he comes back, the glasses are resting on his nose making him look even more beautiful than he already is in your eyes. 

A faint memory of you wiping his glasses for him with your slip dress comes to the surface and you hide a smile.

You watch him round the kitchen counter and pick up his jacket. As he grips the suitcases with both of his hands, the gleaming bracelet catches your attention. 

What are the odds of him preparing to live without it on his wrist? What are the odds of him preparing to live without you? 

You’re not surprised when he begins walking out the front door without saying a word. But you know you have to. You have to let him know that you don’t have any intention of giving up on him. 

With your palms turning clammy, you speak and prepare yourself for whatever comes back as a response, “Wait” 

His feet come to a stop, but him not bothering to turn around does nothing to ease your ache if not adds to it.

Swallowing, you continue, “Whe-when you come back, I want to talk it out. I want you to know that you mean too much to me for me to hide such a major information from you and one that has to do with both of us at that. Yes, I held back for a while but that’s just because I wanted to forget,” the damn tears are threatening to fall yet again, “I wanted to feel for the last time what it's like to be in your arms, your warmth before I break your heart and mine in the process,” Your fastening heartbeat causes you to grip your cardigan in a tight fist, 

“Can I at least get a hug?” 

His shoulders visibly go tensed as he admits over his shoulders, “I’m afraid if I so much as look at you for more than a second, I will break.” 

With that the front door opens and closes, leaving you with nothing but warm tears. You try your fucking hardest not to take his statement as face value but god you want to curl up and die. Although, you know none of this is your fault. If only you could see what the future holds, everything could have been much more bearable. 

You’re scared you’ll lose everything— him, your happiness, your future together. 

You’re scared you’ll burn.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

For as long as he can remember, Jungkook’s childhood had been filled with vivid memories of his parents’ kisses, them being madly in love with each other, dancing in the kitchen, planning picnic dates and thousands of giggles. He had been blessed with a mother who loved his father more than Jungkook has ever seen someone loving the other person, and his father reciprocated the love tenfold. 

Along with the love he also had another emotion wrapped around his heart in a tight grip. Fear. Fear that all of that would dissipate. You know, how sometimes when you’re too happy, there’s just a fucking voice inside of you screaming, “It won’t last long”? 

That’s exactly what he used to feel. The root of the fear was a mystery to him and he even tried to forget about it, thinking it might be just a pipe dream.

Except, it was not. 

And then one day, like a bolt from the blue, Jungkook’s dad was gone.

He still remembers the day very clearly when he saw his dad’s body being carried away on a stretcher, heavy and cold. Meanwhile, he just stood there with fat tears streaming down his cheeks, his mom arms stopping him from running behind his father.

Then, if that was not enough to break him, he lost his mom. Not physically but mentally when her mental state started to deteriorate over the next few years. Before he knew it, his mother totally forgot about his identity as well as his father’s. Apparently, that left a scar far too deep.

What’s it like to forget the ones you love?

Even though Jungkook had made peace with the fact that his mother will never return the same way he’d known her for, a small part of him still hopes. After all, what’s so wrong in hoping? 

His feet drag him down the long hallway filled with wooden brown doors until he stops and stands before one. He clears his throat as he watches the woman just lie there and stare into nothing in particular. 

When he gains her attention, a smile breaks out from her lips, “There you are. I knew you would come, Jimin.” 

Jungkook runs a palm over his chest, a futile effort to soothe the ache.

“It’s Jungkook, mom. Your son” 

“My son? How do you know my son?” The vivaciousness long gone from his mom’s voice.

He swallows and gets further inside the room. He doesn’t try to push it because he knows for a fact that even if she recognizes him today, if tomorrow he comes back he’ll be either Jimin or Namjoon or some random man he’s never heard of. 

“How are you doing?” 

His mom sighs, a pout on her lips as she looks down, “Still the same. I asked the nurse for a cup of tea hours back but she seems to have forgotten about it. That witch.” 

He chuckles, sitting himself on the stool. “I’m sure she’s bringing it in for you.” 

Her eyes move over to the window and settle on the maple tree outside. Just watching it. Jungkook ponders if she remembers chasing him under the maple tree when he was a child. It’s his favorite memory.

“A kind woman stopped by a few days back. God knows what her name was but she had this.. sad look in her eyes, as if someone had snatched something away from her and she’s broken over it. I wonder if people look at me and feel the same amount of sympathy that I did towards her that day. I’m not a fool, I know I’m sick. I could be dead by tomorrow for all you know,” she releases a small sigh as Jungkook waits for her to continue. 

Except she doesn’t and in that moment, Jungkook just…. knows. 

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

Jungkook’s eyes have not left the silver bracelet on his wrist for a while now, brushing it with his fingers lightly as if that would help him rectify his mistakes. He wants to slap himself whenever he remembers the look on your face when those cursed words left him. You looked so broken, so tired.

The woman his mother mentioned is you, it’s so obvious. Something about the way she told him about you made him want to swallow a fistful of iron nails. Fuck even that would hurt less. For a second he saw himself at her place and that made his insides twist in such a way that he didn’t understand. 

What if one day he just wakes up and doesn’t remember you? What if it all just disappears? Her memories, your smile, your sweet giggles, your moans, your touch. 

The thought itself makes him want to rip something into pieces not to mention rip his own heart into pieces. 

Jungkook can hardly walk through the veil of darkness which fills the hall. He holds his phone screen up for light, calling out for you.

“Honey, you home?” 

No response. With his heart in his throat he starts moving towards the bedroom. Gripping the doorknob, he twists it as the door clicks open. Before he can start panicking because of the empty room with nothing but his own stuff scattered around, a cough reaches his ears. 

His brows crease into a frown, confused. “_____, I’m starting to worry.” 

Another cough follows, making his breath pick up its pace. Following the sound, he finds himself standing outside the guest room’s door. Wasting no time he pushes the door open as he watches you on the bed covered in layers of blanket with sweat all over your forehead.

He rushes to you in a quick second, heart beating fast. “Hey, hey baby,” voice coming out as gently as possible, “You okay? Why are you here?” 

Your eyes land on his face as you sniff. “This is what happens when you eat your weight in a bucket full of ice cream on a Sunday night.” 

Jungkook’s expression flashes with relief, grateful that it’s nothing more than an unfortunate cold. 

“You should leave.”

He blinks, “What?” 

“You're more contagious to the cold than anyone I know, baby. Go. I’ll be fine” 

To be honest, he could give zero fucks about catching a cold right now. He holds your gaze for a long moment before standing up. 

A quick look of hurt passes through your eyes, but you recover just as quickly. 

“If you think I’m gonna leave you here in this state then you underestimate my love for you, honey. I don’t know if you remember, but you wanted us to talk once I come back and I want you to get better and get talking, alright? God knows how I managed to have survived two weeks without you by my side, but now that I’m here, you’re going nowhere out of my sight.” 

“Jungkoo-”

He interrupts, “As for those reports, I don’t give a fuck. I don’t care if we can’t have kids normally as most people do,” he runs his hands through his black locks, messing them up as he continues,

“In every sense of the word, I just want you. I want you right here with me, holding my hand and making me the happiest motherfucker ever. We’ll try something else. We’ll adopt, we’ll go with IVF, we’ll-” 

“Jungkook” 

“Yeah?” 

“Breathe, baby” 

So he does as he fills his chest with air, taking a moment to relax. Reaching over, you take his hands in your soft and warm ones, caressing his knuckle tattoo.

“Do I have the permission to be selfish just for one more time?” 

He offers you a weak smile, “You were never selfish to begin with, my love.” 

Your hands pull him towards you until he’s lying down by your side. He wraps his arms around you, holding you so close you’re almost one.  

Jungkook presses a kiss on your clammy forehead followed by one on the tip of your nose, “You okay?” 

“I am now” you whisper, letting your head drop weakly forward to pepper kisses across his hoodie clad chest. 

“I’m gonna speak now and I want you to listen, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Your fingers clutch his hoodie in a small fist as you begin, “I lied about babysitting Coco and I’m sorry about that since I know we promised to never lie to each other, but I had a reason for that. I was at the hospital when you called. I knew you would be at the studio and I didn’t want to put you through that when you’re working,” 

You look up at him, eyes full of love and affection, “When I was young, my mom showed me an orange butterfly which I immediately fell in love with. I played with it for hours before I went back inside the house. I let it go, wishing it would visit me again. I had to let that butterfly go, Jungkook. Because I knew I couldn’t keep holding onto it. I was gonna do the same with you that night. I had it all planned out, I was gonna let you know about my infertility and then I was going to ask you for a breakup. Thankfully, I didn’t. Do you know why?”

Resigned, Jungkook shakes his head as a teardrop falls. 

“Because some things and some people are worth staying for. You’re worth staying for. I was stupid enough to think that I would survive without you, that I would be able to weather the storm without you by my side.” 

You’re sobbing now, sniffing as your fingers wipe Jungkook’s tears away. 

He cups your cheek, his fingers brushing featherlight on your skin as the most tantalizing caress. “You don’t have to. I’ll never leave you, baby. You’re it for me. I can’t breathe without you, _____. Do I want a family one day? Of course, Do I want it without you in it? Over my dead body. You’re my present and I very much have the intention of making you my future too. With all due respect, but something as trivial as that report is not gonna stop me from doing that.” 

A heavy moment of silence hangs in the air as he just stares at the love of his life, he didn’t even realize when the power came back, illuminating the whole guest room.

You are the first one to say, “I love you.” 

“I love you the most.” he declares as his lips brush with yours with immense gentleness and love. 

“Jungkook?” 

“Yeah honey?” 

“What do you think about calling our daughter, Ji woo? If we ever have one?” your voice comes out muffled because of the way you’re snuggled against his chest. 

His lips stretch into the biggest grin ever, chest filling with pride because the woman who he loves the most in his life asked to name the girl he’d love the most in his life after a woman who loves him the most in her life. Even if she doesn’t know it. 

“I’d love that.” 

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

Few years later 

“What-” you gasp as your body goes tense for a quick second before relaxing against Jungkook’s chest. His arms circling around your waist, making you feel cozy and at home. 

“You really need to stop scaring me like this.” 

“Why? I can’t hug my wife now? I know you secretly like back hugs.” 

Wife. The word still holds the same love and power as it did the first time he asked “Will you be my wife and make me the happiest man in the world, honey?” 

You let your head fall back against his chest and look up at him, “You know what? I do.” 

“I know you like the back of my hand, wifey.” he says, leaning down to drop a light kiss on your forehead. 

“I love it when you call me that, but right now you’re distracting me.” Your hands start running over his forearms, caressing. It’s like a habit for you. You need to touch him whenever you can, feel him close to you as much as possible. He’s always so warm and soft, it makes you all fuzzy on the inside. 

His mouth nibbles on your ear, making you shudder. “I don’t think so. Besides I barely get to have you for myself these days.” 

You sigh and just let yourself relax in his hold. The past few days have been hectic to say the least and nothing can heal you better than being in your husband’s arms. “How was practice, baby?”

Jungkook has been working on a new album resulting in him spending most of his time in the studio. You miss him, of course, it’s only normal, but you’re also beyond proud. He took a momentous break from his work the same year you guys were facing issues and he didn’t so much as leave your side, promising to always stick around. Through thick and thin as he said in the wedding vows. 

He ignores your question and sucks on your neck, making you groan. 

“Jungkook” His lips find yours and he steals a kiss, hands pushing under your sundress as he caresses the back of your thigh. Goosebumps break out all over your body and you curse at the fact that he still holds so much power over you. Your legs go weak and your clutch onto his shoulder for support. 

As he lets your lips go with a loud pop, you open your eyes and look at him. 

“What are the chances of me getting lucky tonight?” he asks, hands still under your dress, now grazing your ass. 

“It-”

Before you could answer him, the sound of tiny footsteps running towards you both reached you. And there she is, your prettiest five year old letting out the biggest shriek after she sees her daddy all but falling down from enthusiasm.

“Da!” her feet pick up the pace as she runs towards him with arms wide open. 

You detangle yourself from your husband’s hold and he takes a step back.

He crouches down and catches your little girl, Ji woo, in his arms. Groaning as she crashes into him. “Ooff” 

“Da, I missed you. You’re coming to the picnic with us, right? Mommy says you are.” 

You watch him laugh and peck her chubby cheek. “Of course, sunshine. Nice daddies never miss picnics with their daughters, do they?” 

As they talk like their goofy selves, you just take a moment and watch. By the grace of all things good, you’ve had the chance to visit almost everywhere in the world, but this right here is the best view. After musing about it, you and Jungkook decided to go with IVF and you’ve not regretted it ever since. Hands down the best decision of your life. 

Waking up and seeing your husband with your daughter sprawled on his chest as she lets out tiny little snores, watching her fall in love with the same eyes as you did, going on family dates, going to his concerts wearing the same outfits and whatnot. It’s more than enough for you to thank your lucky stars that you stayed. 

“Mommy, daddy says he’ll not steal my strawberry this time.” 

You offer her a gentle smile. “Daddy is a little liar, baby” 

She lets out the cutest gasp ever, cupping Jungkook’s face with her tiny hands. His face is so big in her hands it’s almost chucklesome.

“Is that right, daddy?” 

He playfully narrows his eyes at you as you stick your tongue out. “Mommy’s just jealous because you love daddy more. Now, what do you think of making those bracelets together?”

Ji woo’s face lights up like the fourth of July and she starts squirming like a little butterfly in his arms, flapping her arms. She’s been asking for her own bracelet after seeing the silver one on Jungkook’s wrist for years now. He suggested custom making one and she got so excited one would think he got her a pet dog or something. Although, he’s considering that too. Nothing surprising there.

When it comes to Ji woo, Jungkook is a loser in love. You’ve never seen him looking at another girl the same way he looks at his daughter. Besides you, of course. It’s innocent, pure and all things perfect. 

Before they both leave, she gives you a kiss on the cheek, covering her eyes when your husband pecks your lips.

Your eyes find the butterfly tattoo on your wrist, sometimes seeing it in your daughter. Excited, lively and someone who makes you want to wish it never disappears, the only difference?

Jungkook’s not afraid that everyone will let him go and you’re not uneasy about how you will have no reason to not let go. 

You’re healed.

He’s healed. 

taglist (ilusm guys) : @woodarevil-blog @kookooquette @busanbby-jjk @chaelvrx @kaiparkerwifes @elithenium @vixensph @carriereadsbooks @mageprincess7 @queenbloody @hinatsu @parkinglot-nights @kookiescutie @ggukieskookie @jimineepaboya @cuteipat @dolligguk @bookstoread199 @chokoopie @lovingkoalaface

[bunny-1111]

Eyes dont miss - Theo Nott x reader

Description: When you try to hide your anxiety from your observant boyfriend Theodore, it comes in crashing on you in the middle of the night, and you can't run from it any longer.

TW: anxiety attack

Word count: 1.3k

Fluff, unedited

...

There was little that Theodore missed.

In his eyes, he carried a loaded gun.

Ammo full of meticulous attention to detail.

He had you studied, fluent in you as if you were a language, the twitches in your eyes a verb, the tone in your voice an adjective.

You thought you hid yourself well, well enough to go unnoticed.

But he watched, even when you insisted on being ok.

He was demanding, a trait both good and bad, his stern demeanour insisting on answers, meeting your same stubborn answer, you were okay. Liar.

When it came to you, Theodore wouldn't allow himself to leave the slightest detail unscathed.

He watched and observed as you drew on your arms during class.

How you picked at the skin around your nails under the table of the great hall during dinner, your twitching hands fiddling as if your fingers depended on it.

How would you chew the gums at the side of your mouth

How he felt your fingers claw a little deeper into his shoulder when he suggested you both turn in for bed.

To Theodore, these things were concerning, though, when he would approach and accuse you of being undeniably going through it, you would deny, deny, deny.

Until you both hit the worst of it, in a cold winter night when you couldn't run away from it anymore. In the still and quiet hour of three am, you pant, in a hot sweat, string in a nightmare until Theo woke, immediately halting you up much to your fright.

As you sat up, the heavy rise and fall of your chest began to set him off too, his own breath hitched watching you fall apart for reasons above him.

His heavy hand polished up and down your back, he meant to be gentle, but he couldn't stop his mind to remember to be tender.

"What's going on" his voice echos through your ears

"Why are you yelling?!" you scream, your hands glued to your head, you wanted to rip your hair out there and then.

"What? Darling, talk to me," he quietly softly. He wasn't yelling, though to you. To you, his voice boomed with volume; just focus, you reminded yourself, come on idiot, stop this, stop it, focus, focus, focus.

Your hands fall in front of your face as you dig your nails into your skin time and time over.

When Theodore's hands take hold of your own, realise the almost bloody palms spread out, lacing his palms into yours.

"Feel my hand, hear my voice, c'mon" he whispered out.

His words cut through the fog like a lifeline, grounding you in their gentleness. Your head spun, reality blurred at the edges, but the steady warmth of his hands kept you tethered.

"Look at me," Theo urged softly, voice barely a murmur, as if afraid to startle you. He didn’t pull you out of the moment harshly, didn’t demand you shake it off. No, he anchored you, the pad of his thumb brushing along the back of your knuckles, each slow pass soothing, steadying.

He kept as much distance as he could, as if you were roadkill like he was gently aiding you off the road.

"Feel that, love?" he whispered, his dark eyes locked on yours with an intensity that was grounding in its calmness. "That’s me. I’m right here. I’ve got you."

You nodded, though the tremor in your hands betrayed you. Theo’s gaze remained unwavering, watching every flicker in your expression, the tiny cracks forming in your armour. You felt his hand drift to your cheek, warm and solid, the weight of it reassuring.

"I—" you started, words tangling in your throat, the shame of it making you flinch. The anxiety had been building for days, creeping up on you like a shadow. You'd convinced yourself you could manage, that you didn't need anyone, but Teddy wouldn't have that.

You weren't clueless. You brushed off his attempts of interrogation, but at this point, you were defenceless.

“You don’t have to explain it all, you know,” he murmured, his voice carrying the hint of a smile, as if he already understood without needing your words. "Just breathe. With me."

He guided you, slow and rhythmic, his own breathing soft and even. You mirrored him, matching his inhales and exhales, feeling the wild storm inside begin to quiet.

“Better?” he asked after a moment, not rushing, just waiting for you. His hand didn’t leave yours, fingers laced like he wouldn’t dare let go. And somehow, that small gesture made you feel safer than you’d felt in days.

You nodded again, feeling your heartbeat slow, the panic that had gripped you loosening, dissolving under his patient watch.

“Theo…” your voice broke a little, shaky and raw, but he just shook his head, his lips quirking up in that way that made you feel seen. Not judged. Not pitied. Just seen.

“Don’t worry about it,” he whispered, brushing a stray tear from your cheek with the back of his hand. “I’ll always be here, yeah? I've got eyes on you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

And in that moment, you knew he meant it.

Theo's gaze softened even further, though his grip on your hand remained firm, grounding. The quiet between you both was filled with his silent assurances, a warmth that felt like a promise of safety. Your heart felt exposed, raw, but under Theo’s watchful eyes, vulnerability didn’t feel like a weakness. It felt like trust.

He shifted closer, closing the small gap between you, his knees brushing against yours as he sat across from you on the bed. “This… whatever it is you’re carrying,” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper, “you don’t have to carry it alone.”

You hesitated, your mind flickering back to the countless times you’d brushed off his concern with a casual smile or a quick change of subject. You’d thought you were sparing him, protecting him from the weight of it all. But Theo was persistent, as if each little gesture you’d thought went unnoticed only made him more determined to understand.

He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, bringing you back from the haze of your thoughts. “You don’t have to be okay all the time, you know?” His voice was calm, unwavering. “Not with me. I’d rather have your truth than your silence.”

A shiver ran down your spine, the walls you’d built up crumbling in the quiet of his words. Slowly, almost hesitantly, you nodded, feeling a strange sort of relief wash over you, like a weight finally lifted.

"I… I didn’t want you to worry,” you whispered, your voice so soft it almost felt like a confession. “Didn’t want you to think I couldn’t handle it.”

Theo tilted his head, an understanding smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Love, if handling it means suffering alone, I’d rather you not handle it at all.” His tone was gentle, but the conviction in his words was unyielding. "You’re not alone in this. Not anymore.”

The sincerity in his voice sent a sense of warmth through your chest, leaving you feeling exposed yet comforted in a way you hadn’t felt in so long. Slowly, he reached up, his hand brushing the hair back from your face, his touch feather-light but grounding.

You took a shaky breath, letting yourself lean into his touch, allowing the weight of the moment to settle. For the first time, you felt like maybe, just maybe, it was okay to not be okay. Because Theo wasn’t going anywhere. And for him, your honesty mattered more than anything you could hide.

The panic and the anxiety might not be going anytime soon, but you knew neither was Theo.

“Thank you,” you breathed, the words barely audible, but Theo heard. He always did. He listened, and watched and understood, he loved with all his senses. He never missed.

...

A/N, my darlings, I'm back writing again. Requests are open, and if any of you suffer from anxiety, my inbox is always a safe place for you to come and talk about it, or anything in general.

Peace and love,

B.

[fatecantstopme]

What I'd Give

Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader

Summary: When Dean is gravely injured on a hunt, (Y/N) makes a deal to save him--a deal that might just cost her everything.

Warnings: canon violence, swearing, mentions of death/dying. SMUT, dom/sub vibes, choking kink, overstimulation, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)

You screamed helplessly as you watched your best friend and fellow hunter be thrown from the window across the room. You'd just managed to stab the demon you were fighting a mere second before you heard the breaking of glass.

You yanked the angel blade out of the demon's chest and ran straight towards the demon who'd just tossed your friend out the window. You stabbed the demon in the back, bringing an end to the fight.

You looked out the window and saw the horrific scene three stories down. Your heart clenched in your chest as you raced to the stairs, making it outside in record time.

"Dean!" you cried as you reached his broken body. "No, no, no, no..."

You were almost afraid to touch him--afraid to search for a pulse and not find one. You exhaled sharply and pulled yourself together, placing a firm hand against his neck. You could feel a very weak pulse beneath your fingertips and you knew he was in trouble.

The fall had certainly broken some bones and he likely had internal injuries of some kind. The glass from the window had sliced his skin in a million places, and you were worried he would have severe head trauma as well.

Normally, you would call out to Castiel and he would come running to save Dean, but this wasn't a normal day. Cas had been missing in action for weeks, and neither you nor the Winchesters knew where he was.

Dean's safety--his survival--depended solely on you. The two of you had been hunting alone, while Sam was out helping Garth on a different hunt. You'd hunted together countless times, but neither of you had ever been this seriously injured.

You knew he was dying--as surely as if there was a neon sign screaming "death!" above his head. You couldn't stand the thought of losing him, so you made a decision that would change your life.

"Anyone who's listening, I need your help," you called out. "Please...I will do anything...just save him."

You waited in silence for a few moments, hoping against hope someone would hear your call and take pity on you. You weren't exactly on good terms with most angels, but you couldn't help but hope at least one of them would care.

You heard the soft flap of wings that always signaled the arrival of an angel and you looked up hopefully. You inhaled sharply when your eyes met the glowing red eyes of the man who had come to rescue you--or should you say, archangel.

"Well hello, (Y/N). It's nice to see you again."

"Lucifer," you hissed lowly.

"In the flesh!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard your call," he said simply. "And well, let's be honest, no one else is coming to help you."

"Did you come here to gloat?"

"Of course not. Even I'm not cruel enough to find joy in the death of Dean Winchester."

"Then why did you come?"

"To save him, obviously."

Surprise lit up your face. Out of all the responses you'd expected, that hadn't been on the list. "Pardon?"

Lucifer smiled darkly. "For a small fee, of course."

"Ahh," you acknowledged. "That sounds more like it. What do you want?"

"Nothing too extravagant."

"Lucifer..." you growled.

"As you can see, this vessel isn't doing so well." He gestured to himself and you had to admit, he looked like absolute shit. "In fact, it's dying...which means I'm in need of a new one."

"Absolutely not," you said instantly. "He would never say yes to you."

Lucifer smirked. "I wasn't referring to him."

Your eyes widened. "I'm not an archangel vessel," you whispered.

"No, but you are a vessel. And I think you're strong enough to contain me long enough to find me a better one."

You swallowed thickly. There was no way you were going to agree to this...you knew what being an archangel's vessel would do to you and you weren't exactly interested in being strapped to a nuclear bomb.

"No," you said firmly.

"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug. "But just remember, Dean's death will be on your hands now."

You exhaled in defeat as you looked down at the man in your arms. You knew he was close to death--no hospital would be able to save him. Lucifer was your only option.

"Save him first," you whispered.

Lucifer smirked, knowing he'd won. "I would, (Y/N), but this vessel is simply too weak. I would need your body in order to save him."

You looked up into his dark eyes and considered his words. "I don't trust you."

"You would be a fool to trust me after all we've been through. However, I need you...and I need Dean alive and well to help me find an archangel vessel. Possessing you is a good motivator for him."

You clenched your jaw as you thought about your options. It took you mere moments to realize you didn't have any. You would rather die than allow Dean to...so your decision was made in an instant.

"Fine," you murmured softly. You looked up at the monster standing before you and exhaled slowly. "Yes," you breathed.

Lucifer wasted no time--immediately exiting his vessel and entering your body, taking over in an instant.

It was painful, feeling his energy within you, and you knew with absolute certainty you wouldn't be surviving this--no way in hell.

To your surprise, you were fully aware of everything happening around you. You could still see and hear--but you had no control over your body in any way.

Lucifer--you--reached out to Dean and touched him. Your palms began to glow and you watched the various wounds on his body heal quickly. His bright green eyes slowly blinked open and he looked up at you in surprise and confusion.

"What happened?" he groaned.

"You got tossed out a window," your voice said, though it was not you speaking.

Dean sat up and rubbed at his head. He looked down at himself, clearly surprised by his lack of serious injuries. "I fell three stories down..."

You nodded.

"How am I not dead?"

You felt your lips curl into a smile--a slightly cruel smile you knew was not your own. "You're welcome."

Dean's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What?"

Unbeknownst to you, your eyes began to glow red, alerting Dean to the presence of someone else in your body--and there was only one creature you knew whose eyes glowed red.

"Lucifer?" Dean yelled angrily.

"The one and only," he replied.

"How the hell...why are you...where's (Y/N)?"

"Oh she's right here," he said with a smile, tapping the side of your head. "Watching and listening like a little creep."

"Well it is my head, you asshole," you mumbled.

"Doesn't mean it's not creepy," Lucifer's voice hissed inside your mind.

You didn't like the idea that Lucifer could hear your thoughts and speak to you like that...and it made you wonder what else he could see within your mind.

"Everything," he teased darkly.

"Fuck."

"Get the hell out of her body," Dean growled.

"Not a chance, buck-o. (Y/N) was kind enough to invite me in, so I think I'll stay a while."

Dean pulled an angel blade out of his back pocket and pointed it at you. You knew he would never use it if it meant killing you too. It was an idle threat and Lucifer knew it.

Lucifer simply laughed. "You're not going to use that, so put it away."

"Get out of her and I won't have to."

"Oh please, you won't kill her."

Dean's expression remained impassive, but you could see his resolve waning. You knew him too well to miss the small tells. Unfortunately, that meant Lucifer knew him just as well.

"Let's make this easy on ourselves," he began. "Everything (Y/N) knows, I know. Every memory, every thought, every feeling, everything. So put the damn blade down before I have to break your arm."

You could see the anger on Dean's face, but he lowered the blade and slipped it back inside his jacket. "Why the hell did she invite you in?"

"You were about 5 minutes from death and she couldn't save you."

"So what, she called out to you?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"She called out to everyone...I'm just the only one who responded." You felt your eyes glance around in slight concern. "Speaking of, we should probably get out of here, just in case."

Dean nodded and lead the way to the Impala, which was parked a short distance away. You got into the passenger seat like usual and you saw Dean tense up at your proximity. He clearly didn't like the idea of the Devil riding shotgun.

"So why did you heal me?"

"I need your help," Lucifer admitted.

"What makes you think I'd ever help you?"

"I knew you wouldn't, which is why I convinced (Y/N) to let me have her body for a little while."

"Convinced?"

"I may have told her a little white lie--that my old vessel was too weak for me to save you. She didn't exactly offer herself up, but she didn't fight very hard when she realized I was her only option."

"You slimy son of a bitch," you growled.

"I'm the devil, (Y/N). What did you expect?"

"You son of a bitch," Dean mumbled, echoing your sentiments. "What exactly do you want from me?"

"I need to find an actual archangel vessel. I'm getting tired of jumping from vessel to vessel...they keep burning out. It's rather tiresome."

"Well you're not touching Sam, or me for that matter."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he insisted. "I know there are others out there, but I need someone with your connections to help me locate one."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "My connections?"

"Well, Bobby Singer's connections, really...but the best way to him is through you, and the best way to you is through her."

Dean exhaled angrily. You knew he was mad at you just as much as he was mad at Lucifer. You were surprised he hadn't given you an earful yet, even with Lucifer listening in.

"Fine," Dean grumbled. "But the moment we find you a vessel, I want you out of her body. Do you understand me?"

"Perfectly," Lucifer answered.

"Now just sit there quietly until we get to Bobby's, understand? I want absolute silence."

"Well that's boring--"

"I can't stand hearing you speak with her voice, okay? So shut up."

Lucifer smirked, but fell silent, deciding instead to annoy you.

"He's mad at you, isn't he?"

"I said yes to you...of course he's mad."

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"How you feel about him?"

"I would really like you to shut the hell up now, Lucifer," you hissed.

"But I'm so bored," he whined.

"I don't give a damn and neither does Dean. It's about 2 hours to Bobby's place...can you be silent for 2 hours?"

"Fine," he grumbled. "It'll give me more time to dig around in your brain anyway..."

"Shit--no!"

You tried to shut him out of your mind as best as you could, but you could still feel him rooting around in your head...making himself at home and digging into memories and thoughts and feelings that were never meant to be shared with another soul.

**********

"What an unsightly place," Lucifer grumbled as he--you--followed Dean up the stairs to Bobby's door.

Dean shot an annoyed glare in your direction, but didn't comment.

"Bobby!" he called as he entered the house.

Bobby came into view and offered you both a tired smile. "Hey you two. What brings you to Sioux Falls?"

"We were close by on a hunt and now we need your help," Dean answered.

"Sure. Come on in."

Neither you, nor Lucifer, had said a word of greeting to Bobby, which struck the older man as odd.

"You alright, (Y/N)?"

"Oh I'm just peachy," your voice answered.

Bobby's eyes narrowed at you, immediately noticing your voice was off. Besides, you didn't tend to talk to Bobby like that.

Before Bobby could question you, Dean spoke up. "We need to find an archangel vessel...as fast as possible."

Bobby stared at him for a moment. "Dean, you are an archangel vessel."

"Yeah, well I need one to house the devil--and it ain't gonna be me or Sam."

"Why the hell do you need a vessel for Lucifer?"

Your hand reached out and tapped Bobby on the shoulder. Judging by Bobby's shocked expression, you assumed your eyes were once again glowing red. Bobby quickly took a step back, looking between you and Dean in confusion.

"It's a long story," Dean muttered. "But I don't want him riding shotgun in (Y/N)'s head any longer than necessary, so we need to find him another vessel."

"Preferably before this current one starts to rot from the inside out," Lucifer added.

"Seriously, Lucifer?"

"Well that is essentially what happens, you know. I wouldn't want to damage such a pretty face."

"Oh fuck off," you grumbled.

"Why in god's name would she say yes to you?" Bobby asked angrily.

"To save my life, okay?" Dean snapped. "Look--we don't have time for this. I need your help to find another vessel. Please."

Bobby sighed and crossed the room to his desk, which was covered in books and papers--an organizational system only Bobby understood. He eyed you warily, but he didn't comment on the situation further.

"I assume you know how to find an archangel vessel," Lucifer commented.

"Perhaps you could enlighten me," Bobby responded.

Lucifer sighed and began to tell Bobby what he needed to look for. You ignored the words coming from our own mouth, instead focusing on Dean. You could see how upset he was and it made you feel incredibly foolish. You hated seeing him like this, but you didn't regret your decision. The mere fact he was alive to be angry made this whole thing worth it.

"How long do you think it'll take?" Dean asked, interrupting your thoughts.

"A week or two--maybe a little more," Bobby answered.

Dean looked in your direction, eyeing you with concern. "Will (Y/N) last that long?"

"Might wanna keep it closer to two weeks," Lucifer replied.

"You're lying, aren't you?" you asked quietly.

"Do you want me to tell them the truth?"

You sighed internally. "I think Dean deserves to know."

"A week would be even better," Lucifer said aloud.

Dean stared at you, worry deepening the lines on his face. His gaze traced your face, searching for any signs of deception--or maybe signs of damage.

"Well then," Bobby muttered. "Better get started."

**********

You sat in the corner, feet up on another chair as you watched Dean and Bobby. You could tell both of them were extremely worried, but their focus was on finding another vessel. They didn't have time to dive into their fears for your life.

Lucifer, on the other hand, seemed to think he had all the time in the world. He was quite happy to torture you instead of providing the two hunters with any assistance.

"Why haven't you told Dean?" he asked for what had to be the 1,000th time.

"There's nothing to tell, Lucifer. Would you just back off?"

"You're really no fun, you know that?"

"Good. This isn't supposed to be fun for you."

"I can make it fun."

"I'd really rather you not."

"Too late!" he said gleefully.

You could feel him poking around inside your head again, searching for something he could use to hurt you with--or hurt Dean with. You tried to keep him away from your darkest secrets, from the things you'd never shared with another soul, not even Dean. But you noticed it was getting harder and harder to resist him. You weren't sure if it was because he was so strong or if you were becoming weaker. Either way, it was only a matter of time before Lucifer found something he shouldn't.

Unfortunately for you, that moment came much sooner than you'd anticipated.

"(Y/N)--fuck, I mean Lucifer...can I talk to you outside for a moment?" Dean asked suddenly, rising from his chair and heading outside without waiting for a reply.

"Well this should be fun," you mumbled internally.

"I assure you," Lucifer mocked. "It will be."

You felt your body moving, feet heading after Dean whether you wanted to or not.

Once outside, Dean turned to face you, eyes filled with a multitude of emotions you couldn't stand to see. "I want to talk to (Y/N)."

"Oh come now," Lucifer said. "You know that's not how it works."

"I know you can shut up and take a backseat. So that's what I want."

"Hmm..." Lucifer hummed thoughtfully. "You know, I'd rather not. Besides, (Y/N) doesn't really feel like talking to you right now."

"Fuck you, Lucifer. Let me talk to him!"

"Sorry, sweetheart. Ain't happening."

"Somehow I doubt that," Dean grumbled angrily.

"You can doubt it all you want, but I'm the one physically inside her head. I know what she's thinking and let me tell you, it's not very complimentary of you."

"What?" Dean asked in surprised confusion.

"You have no idea what she really thinks of you, do you?"

"Lucifer, what the hell are you doing?" you growled.

He ignored you, instead focusing on his conversation with Dean.

"She's my best friend," Dean responded. "What more do I need to know?"

Lucifer laughed cruelly. "I'm sorry, that's just too funny. You think she's your best friend?"

You could see the look of hurt cross Dean's face for a moment, but he quickly covered it up.

"Sorry," Lucifer said, laughter subsiding. "It's just hilarious that you think she cares about you that much."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"She's tired of you, Dean. She's tired of your stubbornness, your self-loathing, your reckless behavior. She's tired of everything to do with you. She doesn't care about you--not really, anyway. You annoy the shit out of her, but she puts up with you because she feels like she has to."

You fought with everything you had to overpower Lucifer and take control of your mind and body. Not a single word Lucifer was uttering was true and you desperately wanted to tell Dean the truth.

"Stop fighting, (Y/N). You can't win," Lucifer whispered.

"Stop lying to him and I'll stop fighting," you insisted.

"No. I'm simply having too much fun."

Dean's face was impassive to the average person, but you saw through the mask on his face, and so did Lucifer. "I don't believe you," Dean said softly.

"You don't have to believe me. They're not my words. I'm simply relaying (Y/N)'s thoughts," Lucifer said with a shrug. "Haven't you ever wondered how she puts up with all your shit? You're not exactly walking sunshine, Dean. You're one of the most damaged humans I've ever met."

Dean inhaled deeply. "If she hates me so much, why does she stay?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Neither you nor Dean knew what Lucifer was going to say next...and his words cut deeper than you'd expected them to.

"She's in love with your brother," Lucifer sneered.

"Lucifer, no!" you screamed.

Dean's eyes widened and shock settled onto his face. He turned around, his back to you in an attempt to collect himself.

You fought even harder...you needed to get this son of a bitch out of your body. It felt like you were locked inside your own mind with no way out. Lucifer was too strong and the harder you fought, the weaker you became. You quickly realized the more energy you expended, the stronger he became...there was no use in fighting him.

"You're a monster," you whispered.

"They call me the devil for a reason.'"

You didn't bother responding to him. Your heart was aching for Dean and all you wanted was to comfort him. You knew exactly where his head would be at right now and it was killing you.

He'd always compared himself to Sam--at least as long as you'd known him. He seemed to think Sam was better than him in a lot of ways and certainly more lovable. The mere idea that you agreed with that sentiment...that you loved Sam...it would break him and you knew it.

"Sam is better than you in every way," Lucifer added, stoking the fire. "Why would anyone love you when they could have Sam? He's everything you're not...sure of himself, confident, open and honest. Sam is better for (Y/N) than you could ever be."

Dean turned back around, face a mask of impassiveness once again. "Let's find you a vessel so you can get the hell out of our lives," he said in a low voice. "Besides, I wouldn't want to get in the way of Sam and (Y/N)'s love."

If you'd been capable of crying, you knew the tears would be streaming down your face in that moment. Your heart ached in a way you were unfamiliar with and you hoped Lucifer could feel the pain the same way you did.

"Why?" you whispered.

"Why what?"

"Why'd you say that to him?"

Lucifer laughed. "Simple...I knew it would hurt both of you. You're in love with him and if his reaction was anything to go by, it looks like he feels the same."

"We're both helping you right now. Why can't you just be grateful for 10 fucking minutes?" you hissed.

"Where's the fun in that?"

You knew the question was rhetorical, so you didn't bother responding. Instead, you quietly watched Dean walk away and you knew he was going to lose his shit. You could feel it as clearly as your own emotions.

"Let's follow him," Lucifer said happily.

"Let him take his anger out without an audience," you snapped.

Lucifer ignored you and quietly followed after Dean, keeping a distance to avoid being noticed.

Once Dean was farther away from the house and seemingly alone, he grabbed a crowbar from a nearby bench and began to beat the ever-loving-shit out of a junker car.

If you'd wondered about Dean's feelings for you before (and you had), you didn't wonder anymore. It was clear he cared about you in the same way you cared about him and you hated seeing him in such pain.

You wanted nothing more than to go to him, but Lucifer was much happier standing to the side and watching Dean suffer alone.

"Please," you whispered.

"You can tell him I'm a lying bastard if you manage to survive this."

"You and I both know that's not likely," you sighed quietly. "I don't want him to suffer and I don't want to die with him thinking I hate him."

"Pity. Guess you should have told him sooner..."

"Oh fuck off, Lucifer," you growled.

Lucifer's laughter echoed in your head and you hated him in that moment more than you could even begin to express.

**********

"You alright kid?" Bobby asked Dean when he returned to the house an hour or so later.

Lucifer, and therefore you, had returned shortly after watching Dean fall apart. When he'd dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face, Lucifer had gotten bored and left.

"I'm fine," Dean lied. "Do you have any leads?"

"I've put out my feelers to every person I could think of. I'm sure someone will have something for me soon."

"Did you call Sam?"

Bobby shook his head. "I assumed you did."

"Call him and let him know what's going on. I'm going out."

"Where are you going?"

"Yeah, Dean," Lucifer chimed in, "where are you going?"

"The nearest bar. Don't wait up."

You tried to say his name, but your mouth refused to form the word.

As soon as Dean was out of earshot, Bobby turned his attention to you. "What the hell did you say to him?"

"Me?" Lucifer asked, feigning innocence. "Why would you think I did something?"

"Maybe because you're the devil?" Bobby answered sarcastically.

Lucifer smirked darkly. "I may have poked at all of his insecurities."

Bobby groaned. "You're a son of a bitch, you know that?"

"That's not a nice thing to say about my Father."

Bobby just glared at you and rolled his eyes. He got up and left the room and you assumed he was going to call Sam.

"I second Bobby's comment."

"I wear it like a badge of honor."

You knew exactly what Dean was going to do and it was killing you. He was going to drink until he couldn't feel a thing, pick up some random girl, and fuck her senseless--anything to feel something other than the ache in his chest. You knew him better than he knew himself...but in this moment, you desperately wished you didn't. You would give anything to not know what he was going to do.

**********

Three days later, one of Bobby's sources had a lead on a potential archangel vessel.

Dean hadn't spoken to you or Lucifer unless he absolutely had to. It was too hard to even look at your face and hearing your voice was a thousand times worse.

Sam was still out on a hunt with Garth, but he promised to be there to help as soon as he could.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Bobby asked Dean as the two of you were preparing to leave.

"The less people involved, the better. Stay here in case we need more intel," Dean responded.

"I don't like the idea of you traveling alone with Lucifer."

"I'll be fine."

Bobby didn't believe him anymore than you did, but neither of you commented on it--not that you could have if you'd wanted to.

As you/Lucifer and Dean climbed into the Impala, Dean didn't spare a glance in your direction.

"Isn't this fun?" Lucifer asked. "I've always wanted to go on a roadtrip."

Dean groaned. "What are the chances you'll be quiet during this drive?"

"Slim to none," Lucifer said with a smirk.

The response almost made Dean smile. It sounded like something you would say and technically it was your voice. He had to remind himself you weren't really talking to him--every word out of your mouth was Lucifer.

Dean took off without another word and you silently prayed this lead would pan out. You were extremely tired and it had only been about four days since Lucifer had possessed you.

By this point, you were having a hard time focusing on what was happening in the real world. You were in pain and you could feel your body weakening...you were dying and you knew it. You just hoped Dean didn't notice.

**********

By the time the three of you arrived at your destination, you were feeling terrible. You weren't even sure how much time had passed since you'd left Bobby's. In fact, you were pretty sure you'd fallen asleep very early on.

"It's been about 12 hours," Lucifer told you.

"I slept for 12 hours?"

"You're dying," he said nonchalantly. "So you're going to have a harder time staying awake."

"Great," you whispered sarcastically.

"Lucifer!" Dean growled. "You coming?"

"Of course."

Lucifer followed Dean into a building you assumed was an apartment complex. Sometime during the elevator ride, you must have fallen unconscious again, because when you opened your eyes again, you found yourself standing in a nice apartment.

Dean was talking calmly to a young man who looked moderately terrified.

"Is he the vessel?" you mumbled.

"Yes. I can feel it," Lucifer responded.

"Thank god..."

"I'm sorry, you want me to allow the literal devil to possess me?" the young man practically yelled at Dean. "That's assuming I even believe in the devil."

"Look man," Dean said with surprising calmness. "I know I sound insane, but it's all real. We need an archangel vessel and like it or not, that's you."

"What if I don't want to say yes?"

Dean grabbed him by his collar. "Then the woman he's currently wearing will die...and I will do anything to prevent that." His voice was low, barely above a growl.

The young man looked terrified, eyes wide with fear. "Are you threatening me?" he whispered.

Dean straightened out the guy's shirt and gave him a dark smile. "Of course not."

"So I have a choice?"

Lucifer chuckled. "Don't think for a moment he'll give you an option, kid."

The guy looked at you and you felt terrible for him. You understood his fear and apprehension...and it felt wrong to force Lucifer onto him. This kid didn't deserve it.

"We shouldn't be doing this," you mumbled.

"Too late, (Y/N). Dean knows he's an archangel vessel. There's no way he's going to leave without getting him to say yes."

You wanted to respond--to fight, but you couldn't. You were too weak...too tired. Everything hurt too much.

"What's it like?" the guy asked softly.

"Like being strapped to a rocket," Lucifer said snidely.

Dean shot him an annoyed glance. "You'll be fine. You were meant for this."

The guy's gaze remained fixated on you. "She looks like shit...am I going to look like that?"

Dean finally focused his gaze on your face and you saw the fear flash in his eyes. He could see you were dying. Your skin was pale, your eyes bloodshot, dark circles adorning them...your lips were cracked and there were slight lacerations appearing around your forehead and jawline.

"She wasn't meant to house the power of an archangel," Lucifer responded. "She's dying, but the same won't happen to you."

"Will she be okay if I say yes?"

"Yes," Lucifer lied smoothly.

The guy looked like he was contemplating what to do, so Dean spoke up again.

"Look, kid. She's important to me...more important to me than pretty much anyone else in this fucked up world. I would do anything to save her...she's--she's my brother's girl."

You wanted to tell him that wasn't true, but you knew it was fruitless to even try. Even still, your heart ached at his words.

"How long?" the guy asked, directing his question at Lucifer.

"As long as I want. You'll never age, never die, as long as I'm with you."

The guy nodded. "Alright. I'll do it." He stood up. "What do I need to do?"

"Just say 'yes'," Lucifer answered.

"Yes."

A bright white light filled the room and Dean had to shield his eyes. When the light faded, you were lying on the floor and Lucifer was now clearly possessing the young man they'd come to find.

"(Y/N)!" Dean yelled as he raced to your side.

Your pulse was faint and you looked even worse than you had moments before.

"Heal her," Dean demanded.

Lucifer's lips curled up in a cruel smile. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no," he repeated. "I'm not interested in saving her."

"You wouldn't have a vessel without us. You owe her!"

"I'm the devil, Dean. What makes you think I give a damn about debts?"

Dean stared at him, anger and terror fighting for control in equal measure. He stood up and went to lunge at Lucifer, but the archangel simply disappeared, leaving you and Dean completely helpless and alone.

**********

Dean had rushed you to the hospital and was currently sitting in the waiting room, hoping to hear something about your condition.

Sam rushed into the room, eyes scanning for his brother. When he saw him, Sam crossed the distance and wrapped Dean in a tight hug.

"How is she?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Dean said quietly. "But it doesn't look good."

"She's strong, Dean."

"I don't think that matters...her body was never meant to house an archangel and she managed to do it for almost a week. She's dying, Sammy."

Sam's eyes filled with tears, but he blinked rapidly to keep them from falling.

Dean's heart ached, seeing his brother look so upset. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a broken emptiness in his soul--a space you used to occupy. But he needed to push past his own pain for his brother's sake. After all...you weren't his.

"For (Y/N)?" a doctor called into the waiting room.

Dean and Sam practically ran in her direction. Dean's heart clenched in his chest as he took in the doctor's sad expression.

"Are you (Y/N)'s family?"

Both men nodded.

"Come with me, please," the doctor said quietly.

They followed her to a private waiting area and Dean's dread increased significantly. "What's going on?" he asked worriedly.

"Please have a seat," the doctor asked, gesturing toward the chairs against the wall. She closed the door before taking her seat across from them.

"My name's Dr. Murphy. I'm (Y/N)'s treating physician."

"I'm Sam and this is my brother Dean."

"There's no easy way to say this," Dr. Murphy said gently. "(Y/N)'s injuries are quite severe and she's in critical condition."

"But she's going to be okay, right?" Dean asked hopefully.

Dr. Murphy frowned and shook her head. "Her organs have begun to shut down...it's only a matter of time now. The best I can do is try to keep her comfortable."

"No," Dean whispered. "No, she can't--"

Sam placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, trying to comfort his brother.

"I'm very sorry," Dr. Murphy murmured.

Dean suddenly stood up. "I can't do this. I need--I need air."

He practically ran from the room and Sam got up to follow him, but Dr. Murphy placed a gentle hand on his arm. "I think it's best to give him a moment."

Sam nodded as he desperately tried to push his own emotions away. He adored you, but he knew exactly how much Dean loved you...so he knew how much pain his brother was in right now. It hurt him almost as much as losing you.

***********

Once Dean was outside, he ran around to the side of the building, desperate to be alone for a moment. He collapsed onto the ground, back against the hard stone of the hospital exterior. All of the tears he'd been pushing back for days finally poured out.

He found himself falling apart in public--something he couldn't recall doing before. He couldn't bring himself to care. You were dying and it was killing him. It was all his fault. If he hadn't been so careless, he wouldn't have gotten injured and you never would have had to beg Lucifer to save him.

He knew it wasn't a rational way of thinking, but in that moment, it didn't matter. You were about to become just another name on a never ending list of people who died because of him. He couldn't take it--it was too much.

"I know I'm not exactly on good terms with any of you and I probably don't deserve your help, but I'm not asking for myself. (Y/N) is dying and I can't save her. I'm not normally the kind of man to beg, but I'm on my knees right now...begging for just one of you to find it in yourself to give a damn. She doesn't deserve this. She's the best person I've ever known...so please. Please someone answer me. Please..." His voice was broken by the end of his short speech.

He was desperate and there was nothing he wouldn't do to save her. If no angel would help him...he wasn't above making a deal with a demon. He'd been to hell once before, and he'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant you could live.

"Hello, Dean Winchester," a soft female voice said from beside him.

He jumped up quickly, ready to fight if need be. He hadn't even heard the woman arrive, which meant she likely wasn't human.

"Don't worry," she said gently. "I'm not here to hurt you. My name is Aliraphael."

"Aliraphael?" Dean repeated. "I've never heard of you."

She smiled. "You don't need to know my name to know what I am."

Dean swallowed thickly. "Why did you come?"

"You prayed for help. I answered."

"But why? We don't know you...what would make you wanna help us?"

Aliraphael smiled. "You, your brother, and (Y/N) have sacrificed much for this world and all of the people in it. I think you deserve a miracle."

Normally Dean wouldn't believe her, but there was something in her eyes that made him feel safe. He was inclined to trust her, but he had to be sure. "What do you want in return?"

"Nothing. This is my gift to you."

"Nothing is free."

"I understand why you may be jaded, but sometimes a gift is simply a gift. This is one of those times."

Dean nodded. "I'm choosing to trust you, but just know if you betray me, I will kill you."

She smiled. "I would expect nothing less of the great Dean Winchester."

Dean led Aliraphael into the hospital and his eyes scanned the waiting area for Sam. He wasn't there, so Dean assumed he'd gone to your room.

"Excuse me. Can you tell me what room (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is in?" Dean asked the receptionist.

The woman typed on her computer without looking up and muttered, "Room 212."

"Thanks," Dean replied. He tried to walk slowly--normally--to room 212, but every instinct in his body was screaming for him to get to you as quickly as possible.

When Dean entered the room, he saw Sam standing beside your bed, his hand wrapped tightly around yours. He was speaking softly to you and Dean felt that ache in his chest intensify.

"Sam," Dean said softly.

Sam turned towards the door, eyes red from his tears. He looked between Dean and Aliraphael in confusion. "Who's she?"

"I am Aliraphael," the angel responded. "I am here to heal (Y/N)."

Sam cut Dean a look. "What did you do?"

Dean shrugged. "I prayed. She came."

"Okay, but what did you promise her in exchange?"

"Your brother has promised me nothing. I am doing this because I wish to. I have no ulterior motive."

Sam still looked worried, but he stepped back to allow Aliraphael access to your bed. Aliraphael gently placed her hand against your forehead and closed her eyes. A soft white glow began to envelop your body and your skin began to return to normal.

After several moments, Aliraphael dropped her hand from your head and turned to Sam and Dean. "It is finished."

You started to stir in the bed and Dean's heart beat faster.

"She will awaken in a moment," Aliraphael assured them.

"Thank you," Dean whispered, unable to take his eyes off your face.

Sam echoed his brother's statement and Aliraphael smiled.

"You are all very welcome." With that, the angel disappeared as if she had never been there.

You groaned softly and your eyes slowly opened. You blinked rapidly trying to clear them and focus on the room around you.

"I have to go," Dean muttered.

"What?" Sam asked in surprise, but Dean had already exited the room.

"Sam?" you asked softly, hearing the younger Winchester's voice.

"Hey, (Y/N/N)," he murmured. "I'm here."

Your bright (y/e/c) eyes focused on his face. "What happened?"

"What do you remember?"

You thought about it for a moment and the memories of the past few days came flooding back. "Lucifer..." you whispered.

Sam sighed and nodded. "Yeah."

"I was dying, Sam--I felt it. Why am I not dead?"

"Dean prayed...and some angel we'd never met before came to save you."

Your eyes widened. "Dean...where is he? I need to talk to him."

"He was just here, but when you started to wake up, he bolted."

"Shit," you murmured. "We need to go after him."

You started to sit up and tug at the IV in your arm, but Sam stopped you.

"Woah! Woah! Slow down, (Y/N). You were almost dead not even five minutes ago."

"And now I'm not, so we need to get the hell out of here Sam," you insisted.

Sam sighed. He knew better than to fight you, so he simply helped you remove your IV and untangle you from the web of other tubes and wires. He handed you your clothes and turned around so you could get dressed in privacy.

"Alright, let's go," you said as soon as you were dressed.

*********

When Dean left the hospital, he'd taken the Impala and started the long drive back to Lawrence. He just wanted to get home before you and figure out what his next move was. If you and Sam were going to be together...he didn't want to be there to witness it. He couldn't.

Dean's phone had rang several times, but he hadn't answered. Most of the calls were from you and a few were from Sam, but he couldn't handle hearing your voice right now. Especially if you were going to tell him everything Lucifer had said was true.

"He's still not answering his damn phone," you muttered, throwing the phone onto the dash angrily.

"I just don't get why he'd leave like that," Sam said for the fifth time.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. "Lucifer said some things to him, Sam...things that hurt him deeply. None of it was true, but Dean doesn't know that."

"What kind of things?"

"Things about me...about how I feel. And about you," you admitted quietly.

"(Y/N), just tell me."

"Lucifer told Dean I couldn't stand him and the only reason I hung around was because I'm in love with you."

Sam scoffed. "And Dean believed him?"

"You didn't see his face, Sam...he believed every word. I wanted to tell him the truth, but I couldn't overpower Lucifer."

"Shit," Sam mumbled. "He's a goddamn idiot if he thinks you love me more than him."

You laughed dryly. "Lucifer played on Dean's insecurities and unfortunately, it worked."

Sam sighed. "Where do you think he'd go?"

"I have to hope he went home."

"Then let's get there before he does." Sam sped up, flooring the stolen car like he'd--well, like he'd stolen it.

You were about five hours from Lawrence and Dean had a head start. You knew it was unlikely you'd get there first, but you had to hope you could get there before he left.

**********

When Sam pulled into the Bunker's garage four and a half hours later, you were relieved to see the Impala parked where it should be. Dean would never leave without his beloved car, which meant he was still there.

Both you and Sam practically ran into the Bunker, calling Dean's name.

The green eyed hunter heard your voices, but he ignored both you and Sam. He couldn't face you...he just couldn't.

"Dean? Where are you?" you called again.

"Come on, Dean. We know you're here," Sam said in annoyance.

You headed into the kitchen and Sam went down towards Dean's bedroom. Both of you hoped to find him before he managed to sneak his way out.

Sam entered his brother's room without knocking and sighed in relief. "Dean. There you are."

"Sam," he said curtly.

"Why the hell did you leave? And why didn't you answer our calls?"

"I just needed to get out of there."

"What, before (Y/N) woke up?" Sam's tone made it clear exactly how stupid he thought his brother's actions were.

"Look man, I'm glad she's okay, but I can't face her. I don't want to have that conversation."

Sam decided to play dumb. "What conversation, Dean? The one where she thanks you for saving her life? Or where you yell at her for saying yes to Lucifer in the first place? Cuz trust me, we had that conversation already."

"That's not what I'm talking about, Sam," Dean said quietly as he started to pack his duffle. "But it doesn't matter. I'm leaving."

"Why the hell are you leaving?"

"I can't stay here. I can't--I can't see the two of you together," he whispered.

"Together?" Sam asked incredulously. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's fine, Sam. I know."

"There's nothing to know!"

Dean glared at his brother and shook his head. "I saw you at the hospital...you clearly feel the same as she does."

"Yeah I do!" Sam yelled. "She's my friend--she's family!"

Dean was about to snap back another retort, but Sam cut him off.

"Just talk to (Y/N), Dean. Let her explain...you owe her that much."

"I don't want to talk to her."

"I'm not going to give you a choice," you said from the bedroom doorway.

Both men turned to look at you in surprise. You crossed your arms and stood firm.

"I don't want to talk," Dean said quietly.

"Good. I don't want you to talk, Dean. I want you to listen." You turned your gaze to Sam and gestured with your head for him to leave the room.

He gladly exited, not wanting to be a part of this particular conversation.

You closed the door behind him and continued to stand in front of it, afraid Dean would try to leave if you moved.

"Lucifer is a liar, Dean. I shouldn't even have to say that. He's the devil, for crying out loud. He's kinda known for his lies."

"But he's also been honest with us before," Dean countered.

"Only when it benefited him. Just like he lies when it benefits him. Hurting you? Hurting me? That shit brought him joy."

"Really? Did it hurt you to hear him tell me how you really feel about me?"

"No," you said angrily. "It hurt me to hear him lie to you about how I feel! The things he said were cruel and terrible, but more importantly, they weren't true!"

Dean stared at you silently, clearly not believing a word you said.

"Do you really think I'm capable of lying to you for years? Think of every moment we've spent together, Dean...do you really think I pretended to care about you? Pretended to enjoy spending time with you? Think about all the times we've laughed together, the times we've had each other's backs, the small glances, the whispers in the dark when one of us had a nightmare. Think about all of those moments and then look me in the eye and tell me it was all a lie."

Tears filled his beautiful green eyes and you knew the same expression was reflected in your own. You took a step towards him, desperately wanting to touch him, but afraid it be unwelcome.

"You're my favorite person in the world, Dean Winchester. You. Not Sam, not Bobby, not Jodi...you. You hold my whole heart in your hands...you always have. If you don't want it, then I understand, but don't for a second think I love anyone but you."

His lips parted in surprise. "But what about Sam?" he whispered.

You sighed loudly. "Weren't you listening? Sam is my friend, Dean, but nothing more than that. I love him like a brother." You took another step towards him. "He doesn't compare to you--he couldn't compare to you. I love you, Dean...and I don't mean like a brother."

Dean inhaled deeply. "I want to believe you, (Y/N/N)..."

"Then believe me," you begged him. "I love you."

Dean thought about what Lucifer had said and he realized why he'd believed it so easily. They were all things Dean was afraid of...he knew he wasn't good enough for you and he was terrified you knew it too.

"Talk to me, Dean," you whispered, taking a final step towards him.

He looked deep into your eyes and found nothing but love there. The same love he held in his soul for you. "I've always been afraid to tell you how I feel because I know I'm not good enough for you," he admitted. "That's why it was so easy for me to believe Lucifer's lies...it was almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I couldn't believe you'd ever want me, so it was easier to believe you wanted Sam. He's better for you in every way."

"Stop," you whispered, pressing a finger to his lips. "I decide who is best for me and I choose you. I will always choose you."

"(Y/N)," he whispered.

You pressed your lips against his, trying to infuse it with all of the love in your soul. Dean's arms wrapped around your thick waist, pulling you closer to him. He deepened the kiss, lips hungrily devouring yours.

You stayed locked in each other's embrace for what felt like an eternity. Your tongues fought for dominance and your hands caressed any part of each other they could reach.

When the kiss inevitably broke so the two of you could breathe, Dean laid his forehead against yours. "This might go without saying, but I love you too, (Y/N). So goddamn much."

You chuckled breathlessly. "After a kiss like that, I'd sure as hell hope so."

He grinned and tugged you even closer to him. His lips pressed against yours again and he found himself wanting to feel every part of your soft body. He needed it, just as much as needed air to breathe.

"Let me show you how much, baby," he whispered against your lips.

"Please," you moaned softly.

“Strip for me, pretty girl,” he commanded.

You gently pushed against his chest, forcing him back against the bed. He dropped down onto the mattress, eyes never leaving your body.

You slowly began to remove your clothing, taking much longer than you needed to. You were teasing him and he was eating it up.

You finally got down to just your bra and panties, nothing fancy as you obviously weren’t planning on this happening, but Dean didn’t seem to care. In fact, you were about to be very glad you didn’t wear anything nice.

“You are so damn beautiful, baby,” he whispered.

You offered him a warm smile, appreciative of the affection in his gaze. He thought you were a goddess among humans, a treasure to behold.

“I think you’re a bit overdressed, Dean,” you teased softly.

“You know, babe, I think you’re right.” He stood up and shed his layers significantly faster than you had. He was extremely impatient, as he was dying to get his hands on you.

You admired his broad chest, thick arms, and sculpted form. He looked incredible, scars and all. You felt the strong urge to kiss every single one of them, if he would allow you.

He now stood before you in nothing but his boxers, his large erection straining against the thin fabric.

“Let’s get this off you,” he muttered, reaching behind your back to unhook your bra.

The moment your breasts were exposed to his gaze, he let out a low groan. “Fuck, baby. These are even better than I’d imagined.”

“You imagined my—“ your question was cut off by the feeling of his lips wrapped around your nipple and his hands caressing your breasts gently.

The gentle movements quickly turned more intense, and he began to truly knead and nip at your flesh. You moaned softly and gently ran your fingers through his soft hair.

You pressed yourself even closer to him, feeling his bulge press against your abdomen. He lifted his head with a small smirk.

“Impatient, are we?”

You nodded quickly.

“Oh come on now, sweetheart. Use those words for me. Tell me what you want.”

“You,” you whimpered. “I want you.”

His smirk widened. “I figured that much out on my own, darlin'. I want you to tell me what you need.”

You weren’t exactly accustomed to expressing yourself verbally in the bedroom. To be honest, a lot of your past experiences weren’t that great anyway. A lot of one night stands with men who only cared about their own pleasure.

You found yourself feeling kind of excited at the prospect of a man listening to you and what you wanted…even more so because that man was Dean.

“I want you on your knees, handsome,” you said firmly.

Dean’s eyes widened slightly, but he dropped to his knees obediently. His normally bright green eyes were dark with lust as he locked eyes with you.

You loved the powerful feeling you had as you stood over him. The great Dean Winchester, on his knees for you.

You touched his face sweetly and he leaned into your palm, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “Do you wanna eat my pussy, Dean?” you whispered.

His eyes shot back open, a hungry expression on his face. “Yes,” he breathed lowly.

“Then get to work,” you commanded softly.

Dean was used to being in charge in the bedroom and it wasn’t often he found himself submitting to a woman. You were different than any woman he’d ever been with before—after all, he loved you. If you told him to do a damn handstand naked, lick your feet, and call you “your majesty”, he would have done it in a heartbeat.

His calloused hands slowly slid up your thighs, squeezing the supple flesh. His mouth followed, leaving sloppy kisses as he worked his way closer to your core.

“Baby?” he asked softly, glancing up at you.

“Hmm?”

“Do you have any particular attachment to these panties?”

“No, why��Dean!” you gasped as he ripped your underwear in half, tossing the remains to the floor.

He grinned and made a happy little noise deep in his throat before kissing your mound. He grabbed your right leg and tugged it up over his shoulder, giving him better access to you.

“Lean on me for support, beautiful. I got you.”

The moment you laid a hand on his shoulder and he was sure you were stable, he dove into your pussy with a deep growl.

Your head fell back in ecstasy and a series of moans left your lips. The hand not holding onto his shoulder immediately wound itself in his hair, holding on for dear life.

“Dean—feels so good,” you moaned.

His hands dug into your ass cheeks in response, tugging you even closer to him. He never wanted to stop—hearing those sweet sounds you made mixed with the heady taste of your sweetness was more intoxicating than any drink he’d ever had.

Your legs had begun to tremble and Dean’s grip on you tightened. He wasn’t willing to stop his ministrations, but he wouldn’t let you fall either.

Your nails scraped against his scalp and his shoulder as you clung to him. The pleasure was almost too much and not enough all at once, and you felt your orgasm approaching.

“Dean,” you gasped. “I’m so close.”

He smiled against your core and shifted his focus more heavily to your clit. You cried out and cursed softly, and he knew he’d made the right move.

“I—oh god,” you cried as your orgasm washed over you.

Dean lapped up everything you had to offer, his grip on your body never loosening. As you began to come down from your high, he slipped his hands up to your hips to ensure he didn’t drop you.

He gave your pussy one last lick before allowing you to pull him up by his hair. To his surprise, you mashed your lips against his hungrily, not giving a damn that he tasted like you.

One hand tangled into your hair and the other held you tightly. “What do you want me to do now, sweetheart?” He murmured against your skin.

“Take control, Dean,” you begged. “Make my legs shake. Make me scream. I don’t wanna be able to move for hours.”

“Holy fuck,” he groaned. “Who taught you to talk like that, baby?”

You smirked. “It comes naturally with you.”

"Well it's the sexiest thing I've ever heard," he murmured.

His strong arms wrapped around your waist and gripped you tightly. He spun you both around so your back was to the bed. He pulled you up into his arms and tossed you onto the bed.

You gasped in surprise, not used to being manhandled in such a manner. You sat up slightly, resting on your elbows as you looked at the gorgeous man in front of you. You curled one finger and beckoned him towards you with a smirk.

He quickly discarded his boxers and dropped onto the bed, crawling slowly up your body. He dropped kisses onto your skin as he moved, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

When he reached your mouth, you reached up and grabbed the hair at the base of his neck, tugging him down to you. Your kiss was hungry and needy, leaving no question as to what you wanted.

As the kiss deepened, Dean shifted his body to touch your soft curves. In doing so, the tip of his cock brushed against your pussy, eliciting soft moans from both of you.

Dean's hands traced softly up and down your sides, relishing the feeling of your skin against his. "I love touching you," he murmured in your ear. "You're so damn soft."

You smiled and turned your head to nip at his jaw. He groaned and turned his attention back to your soft lips, sucking the bottom one between his teeth and biting down gently.

Much like Dean, you loved touching his body, but you reveled in the firmness of his body beneath your hands. Every time he moved, you could feel his muscles tense and shift. His body was powerful and beautiful--a vessel carrying the most incredible soul you'd ever known.

Dean shifted again, nudging your head to the side so he could suck at your neck, leaving love marks on the sensitive skin. You lifted your hips up slightly, seeking some kind of friction to relieve the ache between your legs. Once again, his cock brushed against your core and you gasped lightly. Dean, on the other hand, bit gently into your neck to suppress a loud moan.

"I can't wait any longer, baby," he groaned.

"Take me. I'm yours," you whispered.

He sighed softly, kissing you sweetly before pulling away. "Roll over for me, sweetness. Hands and knees."

Your eyes widened in surprise, but you rolled over immediately. You lowered your upper body to lay flat against the mattress, ass high in the air.

"Holy shit," Dean murmured as his hands grasped your large, round ass. "Who said you could have an ass this incredible? I can't wait to watch it jiggle while I fuck you senseless."

Before you could respond, he smacked your ass with an open palm, causing you to gasp slightly.

He seemed to realize belatedly that he should have asked if you were okay with that before doing it, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't imagined smacking your ass for years. "Is that okay, baby?"

"More, please," you begged softly.

He smacked your ass again with a grin. "You like that?"

"Harder, Dean," you moaned. "Like you mean it."

"Fuck," he groaned, hand coming down against your cheek again.

Each time you moaned loudly, reaffirming your enjoyment of the action. Your pussy clenched around nothing and you were beyond desperate for him to just fuck you already.

"Dean, I need you--please," you cried desperately.

"Where do you need me, baby?"

"Inside me," you whimpered.

Without warning, you felt one of Dean's thick fingers enter your pussy. "Like this?"

You shook your head rapidly.

"Words, babe," he said firmly.

"I want your cock, Dean."

"Yeah? Tell me where."

You turned your head to look at him as best as you could from your current position. "I want you to fuck my pussy with your big, thick cock...please," you pleaded softly.

Dean blinked rapidly and licked his lips. He pulled his finger out from inside of you and sucked your juices from it. "Yes ma'am," he murmured.

He leaned forward and kissed your cheek where he'd left a red mark from his slaps. You turned your head back around, forehead against the mattress, preparing yourself for what would come next.

Dean gripped his cock tightly, stroking it a few times before lining himself up with your entrance. He started to enter you and you gasped at the stretch. It was painful given his larger than average size.

"I've got you, baby," he whispered, running his hands up and down your back in a soothing manner. "Just relax for me."

You took a deep breath and tried to relax your body as much as you could. When he felt the tension leave you, he continued to push forward.

You'd never felt so full before and the pain had begun to subside into pleasure. "You're so big," you mumbled.

Dean smirked and chuckled softly. "I'm not all the way in yet, sweetheart."

"What?!" you gasped in surprise.

He pushed the rest of the way in, bottoming out so deep inside you, you swore you could feel him against your cervix. "Fuck!" you yelped.

Dean continued his soothing hand motions on your hips as he allowed you the time you needed to adjust to his size.

While you appreciated his gentleness, you desperately needed him to fuck you. Instead of telling him what you wanted, you moved your hips forward slightly before slamming back against him so your ass pressed firmly against his lower abdomen.

Dean's blunt nails dug into your hips and he growled lowly. "Fuck, baby."

His hips snapped forward and he held you in place by your hips. He set a brutal pace, unable to move slowly--it felt way too damn good.

Dean was completely mesmerized by your ass, watching it jiggle as he fucked into you forcefully. He slapped the opposite cheek from the one he'd hit earlier and you cried out in pleasure, pussy clenching around him.

"You feel so fuckin' good, sweetness," he moaned. "Tightest pussy I've ever had."

You couldn't formulate a good response to his words as you were already too far gone. His cock slammed into your g-spot with each thrust, making your legs shake and your head fog up.

"Made for me, weren't you baby?"

"Mhmm," you hummed.

Dean smiled, knowing you were overwhelmed with pleasure and unable to respond properly. He leaned forward and grabbed a handful of your hair at the base of your neck. He tugged back slightly--just enough to cause a little pain without truly hurting you.

His thrusts were almost violent, they were so fast and hard. He wanted to feel you come apart on his cock and he knew you were close.

"You gonna cum for me, baby?" he whispered.

You simply whined desperately.

"What do you need, sweetheart? Tell me what you need."

"More," you begged.

"Hmm," Dean hummed. He slipped an arm around your waist and tugged you back against him so you were sitting up as he continued to thrust into you.

One hand slid up to your neck, wrapping around your throat and applying just a tiny bit of pressure to gauge your reaction. His other hand moved slowly towards your core, seeking your clit for added stimulation.

"Dean!" you cried.

He bit into your shoulder. "I'm here, baby. I want you to fall apart for me."

He rubbed at your clit quickly, thrusts slower due to the new position, but nevertheless pleasurable.

You needed just a little more to push yourself over the edge, so you gripped his hand around your neck and put more pressure on it, indicating what you needed.

Dean got the hint and tightened his grip on your throat, just enough to push you over the edge. He didn't want to hurt you--he would never hurt you.

"Cum for me, sweet girl," he murmured in your ear.

You cried out as your second orgasm crashed against you and your pussy tightened almost painfully around Dean's cock. He helped you ride out your high before lowering you back to the bed and rolling you over onto your back.

He was immediately on top of you, thrusting into you more slowly. He put one arm on either side of your head to support himself, effectively trapping you beneath him.

He rolled his hips against you, the motion pressing his pelvis against your clit, causing you to whimper in pained pleasure. Your hands found purchase in his upper back, nails digging in as he repeated the action.

"I love your body, baby," he whispered. "So fucking perfect."

You smiled up at him, pulling him down for a heated kiss. "I like it too," you mumbled. "Yours isn't bad either."

He chuckled lightly, kissing you lovingly. "I wanna see you come apart for me, (Y/N). Can you give me one more?"

Your eyes widened. "I don't think I can..."

"I bet you can, sweetness." He grabbed your hips and pulled your legs up so your legs were wrapped around his waist. He began to thrust in earnest again and your head fell back, a moan escaping your lips.

Dean closed his eyes, focusing on pulling at least one more orgasm from you and keeping his own at bay. The way you were squeezing him made it a hell of a lot harder than he would like.

The harder his thrusts, the tighter you seemed to grip him, and the deeper your nails dug into his back. He knew he was going to have some serious gashes on his back, but he intended to wear them with pride.

"Come apart for me, baby. Let me feel you soak my cock," he begged.

"Dean," you groaned.

"Come on, my love--let go."

Your eyes fluttered closed and your body began to shake as waves of pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. You came for the third time that night, cries of pleasure mixing with Dean's moans of encouragement.

You started to come down from your high, body overly sensitive from the onslaught of pleasure that continued. "Dean, too much!" you gasped.

"Just one more," he begged.

"I can't!" you whimpered.

"Please baby--one more. Need it," he continued to beg.

You didn't think it was possible for you to cum again, but you began to feel a new sensation in your abdomen. It felt similar to the familiar tightening coil that signified an oncoming orgasm, but it was infinitely more intense. You weren't even sure if it was pleasure or pain--the feeling was simply too overwhelming to comprehend.

"Dean--I can't--" you gasped in confusion.

His hand slid between your bodies to gently massage your clit and you suddenly couldn't breathe. You began to writhe beneath him, hands gripping at the sheets to try and ground yourself.

Dean knew you were about to come undone again, so he didn't slow any of his motions. "Look at me, baby."

Your eyes met his for no more than a moment before your vision became blurry. You screamed his name as you came for a fourth and final time. The feeling was so incredible, you couldn't even begin to describe it.

Your vision began to return to normal as you desperately tried to catch your breath. You were practically limp beneath him as Dean began to chase his own orgasm.

He tucked his head into the crook of your neck and murmured soft words of praise against your skin. "Feels so good--squeezing me perfectly."

He kissed your neck as his thrusts became more erratic. "I'm gonna fill up this pretty little pussy, sweetness. Gonna cum for you."

You managed to press a kiss into his shoulder and wrap your arms around him, hands clutching his back. "Fill me up, Dean," you whispered encouragingly.

Dean groaned lowly. "This pussy is mine, baby. You hear me? Mine."

"Yours, Dean. Only yours."

"Oh--fuck--" he groaned. "(Y/N)!"

His hips began to stutter, thrusts faltering as he filled you up with his seed. He whispered your name like a prayer as his movements began to slow to a halt. You clung to him tightly as he came down from his high.

He finally collapsed on top of you, completely spent and breathless.

You rubbed his back soothingly, lips pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder and neck. As the two of you laid there quietly, you began to notice the bedding beneath you was particularly wet--more so than you had expected it to be.

"I love you so much," Dean whispered, lips pressed softly against your jaw.

"I love you too, baby," you said sweetly.

Dean began to lift himself up, each movement making you gasp--body too overstimulated to handle any motion.

"Sorry, sweetheart," he murmured softly.

"I'm not complaining," you assured him.

He grinned slightly as he pulled himself up completely, softened member sliding out of your excessively wet pussy.

He looked down at the bed and his grin widened. "We made quite the mess, baby."

"Yeah, it feels a little...wetter than normal."

He chuckled softly. "That's probably because you squirted, (Y/N/N)."

You gasped, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. You realized that must have been the result of the most intense orgasm of your life. "I did?!"

Dean noticed your discomfort and immediately reassured you. "Yeah, sweetness--and it was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen."

You bit your lip and looked up at him. "Really?"

He grinned. "Really."

"I've--uh--well...I've never squirted before," you admitted.

His chest puffed up with pride. "I'm honored to have been the first--and the last." He added a wink for emphasis.

You smiled softly. "Maybe don't make it a regular thing...I literally can't move."

Dean laughed. "Don't worry, babe. I'll take care of you."

You watched the handsome man cross the room and go into the bathroom, emerging several minutes later with two washcloths. He gently picked you up, moving you to the other side of the bed where it was dry. From there, he very gently began to clean you up with the warm washcloths.

You were moved by the loving way he took care of you, making sure you were clean and comfortable before leaving the room in search of another set of sheets.

When he returned, you found you still couldn't move, but Dean didn't seem to mind. "I can change the sheets with you in them, (Y/N)."

"But--"

"Hush," he insisted as he pressed a kiss to your lips.

He made quick work of removing the sheets on the other half of the bed and putting the clean sheets on that side. He then scooped you up again and moved you to the clean, crisp sheets. He removed the rest of the soiled sheets and finished making the bed.

As soon as he was finished, he crawled into the bed beside you. He reached out to grab your soft body and tugged you against his warm chest.

You nuzzled into him and sighed softly. "I could get used to this."

He smiled and kissed the top of your head. "I'll always take care of you, baby...so you might as well get used to it. I'm not going anywhere."

You smiled and pressed a soft kiss onto his chest. "I love you, Dean."

Dean tightened his grip on you and smiled. "I love you more, (Y/N/N). Always."

[heart4caitlin]

Y’all are freakkkyyyy (I js know caits the jealous type. Second you get home she’s pushing all up on you whispering how bad she needs you and how horny you made her. She wouldn’t stop until your legs were shaking and she had to hold you down. Afterwards she’d tell you how much she loves you but hates that you made her jealous. Obvi you think the opposite bc a jealous caity means a great night for you.)

i feel like yall are reading my mind because i was just talking to my irl a few days ago about jealous/angry caitlin? especially after that lost against washington?

seeing you talk to anyone, especially someone from the other team, after the game gets her so heated towards you. doesn't even want to speak to you on the way home, just keeping her hand on your thigh while she drives back to yalls place.

the second yall walk into the house, she's all over you. pushing you against the wall as she sucks marks down your neck and eventually your chest just to show everyone else that you're all hers.

like you said, she would not stop until your legs are shaking i swear. she loves hearing you gasp and whine for her as she flicks her tongue against your clit. loves having your hand in her hair, pulling her close in you or trying to push her away because "it's too much," but she knows you can take more than this. she loves to suck on your clit because it makes your hips jerk against her face, her hands holding you down by your thighs, making sure you can't move away from her.

maybe she uses her strap on you, depending on how she's feeling at the time. if she does, then she'll make you cum at least two times on her fingers, sliding against your g spot every time just to hear you whine and push against her. she whispers constantly "you can give me one more, can't you baby?" she wants your back arching as you scream her name while tears are running down your face.

her aftercare is amazing! gently bringing you down from your last orgasm, making sure to not overstimulate too much as she moves away from you. crawling back up to you and pressing her lips against yours, brushing your hair out your face. "did so good, baby, you know that?" she'll whisper sweet praises to you as she helps you out of bed and towards the bathroom to clean you up.

[dollfacefantasy]

Since your request are open :) and I’m literally a slut for Wolverine can you feed us some sfw and some nsfw alphabet head canon for our dilf??? I’m literally screaming ( without an s) for himmmmmm😩

eeeeee yes!!! of course i can, thanks for the ask bb <3 i'm gonna split these into two so the post won't be too long i wrote these with X2 in mind cause he's my favorite, but imagine whichever version calls to you. mdni (18+) !!

logan howlett x fem!reader nsfw alphabet ♡

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Logan is good with aftercare. Like the man fucks you into oblivion but then he'll clean you up and grab you some water afterwards. He talks to you too. Tells you how good you did and how pretty you looked for him. He's touchy, not overly clingy, but he likes how you curl up to his side and rest your head on him. He'll hold you too and rub your back.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Your pussy. Like he's obsessed. Stares at it before he eats you out, just running his thumb up and down your slit. Loves to toy with your clit and hear you whine. Always tells you how "she's" crying for him. "She" loves him so much, squeezes him so tight.

On himself, I think it'd be his abs. He knows he's hot shit. He can see how you look at them, and it strokes his ego so much. He has his shirt off a lot when it's just the two of you, and he acts so innocent about it. Loves to tease you when he catches you staring.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He loves cumming inside you. He can't explain why, but it's just this deep, innate satisfaction he gets when he fills you up. Also, on a separate note, he licks his fingers clean when he makes you cum all over them. Does not let a single drop go to waste.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He'll whine if you pull his hair. It'll be the most pathetic, needy sound you've ever heard in your entire life. It'll be utterly humiliating for him, but that just makes him fuck you harder so it's worth it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Ok ok. Hear me out. Logan wants everyone to think he's a slut, but in reality, I don't think he is. I think he's had a decent amount of experience, but it's more so his dedication to the person he's with that makes him a good lover. He does what pleases you not just what he's found to work on others.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Basic, but his favorite is missionary. He wants to be able to have a clear view of your face while he's making you fall apart. He likes marking up your neck too which he can easily do in this position. That's not to say he won't mix it up and do other positions, but his favorite is always gonna be the classic.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Overall, he's serious. He loves to tease, but in the heat of the moment, it's only to make you whine or beg. Laughter is not the sound he's aiming for when he's balls deep in you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's got BUSH. A huge bush. Listen. This man has all that hair on his head. Hairy forearms, hairy chest, hairy abs. He has a massive bush down there too. And that's beautiful.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Depends. He can be pretty gentle and romantic if he chooses. He can also be cocky and just run on pure lust in the moment. Most of the time, it's the latter. He fucks with the intention of pleasure. But if you've had a hard day or he's feeling vulnerable himself, the sex is much more soft. Lots of kisses, his face buried in your neck, whispering how much he needs you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He limits his jerking off to the shower. He doesn't wanna deal with the mess, and if he's that horny, he'll just come find you. Though when he does jerk off, he can get into it. Grunting, groaning, mumbling your name. Cause of course, he's thinking of you while he does it. Thinking of how cute you looked when you bent over to pick up something you dropped. Recalling the soft purr in your voice when you said his name yesterday. Imagining how good it would feel if your cunt was wrapped around him instead of his fist.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He doesn't know it yet, but this man is into pet play. He's not gonna dive right in with the ears and tail. It starts small. He calls you 'pup' sometimes without thinking too much about it. He nearly cums in his pants watching you hump his thigh like you're in heat. He's super possessive so seeing you in a collar for him would drive him up the wall.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom cause he doesn't want anyone else walking in and interrupting. Even though he jerks off in the shower, he doesn't like to fuck in there. One time the two of you were getting down in there and he slipped and it sounded like a group of metal pipes falling. It was truly tragic. Totally humiliating. Never again. You're not even allowed to speak of the incident. From then on, he keeps your escapades solely between the walls of your bedroom, but it's not always on the bed. He'll bounce you on his lap while sitting in the chair you guys have in the corner, bend you over the dresser, or maybe press you against the window.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Logan's a natural tease, so if you try teasing him back, that really revs his engine. It's just so cute that you think you can outdo him. He'll just have to show you otherwise and fuck you till the only words you can speak are his name and "please more."

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Won't do anything with the claws. He has enough anxiety about waking up from a nightmare and impaling you by accident. Anything reminding him of that possibility has his dick soft in seconds.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Logan is a lover boy through and through, so that man would have no problem eating you out. He enjoys making you feel so good, and he loves having to hold you in place by your thighs cause you're squirming around so much. He also loves having his hair pulled, so do that and he'll grind himself against the mattress a few times.

As for receiving, Logan thinks it's so cute when you offer to blow him. He's never gonna say no. He loves watching you go to work on him, bobbing your head with such dedication and making yourself gag when you try to take too much.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

90% of the time he's fast, but that doesn't always mean rough; though he can do that too. You just feel so so good, it's hard for him to take his time. He can if he's in the mood or is tired and just wants something lazy. But usually he's bucking into without holding back.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He has no problem with quickies. If you're living at the mansion, you gotta seize the opportunity when it presents itself. As established, he's fast anyways. He will get you and himself there in a matter of minutes. Plus, it presents the bonus of knowing his cum is leaking out of you for the rest of the day.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

If you came to Logan with something you wanted to try in bed, he'd most likely be down. There isn't much that's going to be a hard no for him. Even if he's not super into it personally, he'd still be willing to play with it if it was something that got you going. Plus the fact that you asked at all shows you trust him which means a lot to him.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

In his prime, he can last for a while and go multiple rounds. He's got that uncharted regenerative capability. He can get hard again pretty fast, and he will put that ability to use if you're feeling needy. He'll tease you about being insatiable even though he wants it just as much.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Does not own any toys. He doesn't feel the need. If you wanted to try using toys in the bedroom, he would, but he's never going to suggest that on his own. He prefers just pleasuring you without aid.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Logan is nothing if not a tease. Since the day you met him, he can't seem to go too long without trying to get a reaction out of you. And that extends to the bedroom. He loves edging you and then teasing you for how you whine. Gets you near tears by overstimulating you and then coos at you "What's wrong, sweetheart? Doesn't it feel good?"

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's not loud, but he's vocal. He growls and grunts right next to your ear, letting you hear every little sound he makes. He talks you through it too. "Ohhh, look at that face, that's my baby. Feels so good, doesn't it? That's my girl."

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

One of the hottest things Logan's seen is when he caught you having a dream about him. The way your moans were all soft and hazy with sleep and your thighs were pressing against each other as you squirmed. It got him all riled up knowing he was on your mind even when you were unconscious.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's got a big cock. It's a good length, and it's pretty thick. There's a pretty vein that goes up the shaft. His balls are heavy too. Nice and big to go with his dick.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Yearner is Logan's middle name. He pined for you, and now that he has you, he's not gonna waste that. He's got a high sex drive and you guys are doing it most days of the week at least once.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He takes a while to fall asleep afterwards. He just likes to make sure you've settled. He'll watch you sleep for a little bit and be alone with his thoughts before finally conking out.

[silverskyeline]

logan howlett - nsfw alphabet / 18+

oneshot (request) - the letters 'LOGAN' for the NSFW alphabet! (800 words) pairing - logan howlett (xmen) x gn!reader tags: public sex, voyeurism, car sex, oral (reader receiving), collar, leash, praising a/n: tysm for the request! i was so excited to do this one - i hope it's okay for you anon! i just kept it to nsfw ones for now but i'm definitely coming back and doing one for his second name for the sfw one! tw: smut! minors dni 18+ only

ੈ♡˳ L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

oh logan will do you anywhere, any time he can get his paws on you. those rough, calloused experienced hands trailing across your thigh while he drives. watching him eagerly as he pulls over on the side of the road and pulls you desperately into his lap, his cock already hard and ready beneath you, straining through his denim jeans.

or maybe you're at the bar, watching as he knocks back drink after drink, his eyes suggestively drifting towards the bathroom. it's not long before he has you pressed up against the cool tiled wall, in contrast to the heat from his hips as he connects with you over and over. . . filling the small public bathroom with lewd slapping noises while his cock pistons in and out of you, whispering for you to 'shut your fucking mouth'. but in reality, he'd love it if someone heard the two of you.

but most of all, he loves having you at home, in his bed. then he can really make you scream, really make you whimper and beg and plead him to make you cum over and over and over. . . and he will, fuck, you know he will.

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

ੈ♡˳ O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

as much as he loves seeing your pretty little mouth take his cock, he loves using his mouth on you way more. he's messy, sloppy, using that tongue like it was made to make you cum. he sucks and fucks and moans against you, eyes locked up on yours all the while as he watches you writhe under his deliberate and focused licks.

god, he loves watching you - could watch you all day, in fact. his stubble pricks against your thighs, leaving your skin red and raw. if you're lucky, he'll kiss his way along those delicate marks later, depends if you'll be good and cum when he tells you to.

ੈ♡˳ G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

honestly, logan isn't the type to get too goofy. but if he's close with you, if you've been together a while? he'll let his guard down. he'll chuckle instead of growl when his belt gets caught in his jeans when you're trying to take them off. he'll smirk instead of snarl when you tease him a little too much. and he'll banter with you as he offers you a puff from his cigar after he's had his way with you.

a draw of his cigar? wow, you are special.

ੈ♡˳ A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

usually, you're too fucked out to offer him any kind of aftercare. he's often like an animal, greedy, ready to go again and again as you lay there gasping for breath. logan, on the other hand, is more than happy to provide. he knows how rough he can be, knows that he needs to be careful with you.

he spends his time slowly kissing up along your ankle, calf, thigh, watching with keen interest and a smug, proud smirk as his cum slowly leaks out of you. when he reaches your waist, his hands grip it tightly, massaging the soft skin before lowering himself beside you, curling against the shape of your body and nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck with a soft growl.

logan would watch as your breathing slows to a normal pace, brown eyes flitting from your chest to your face, simply watching you. "that's it. . ." he'd whisper, pressing a soft kiss to the sensitive skin of your neck, cooing compliments as you come down from your high.

you'd fall asleep in his arms, relaxed, safe - but you'd certainly feel the effects of just how hard he fucked you the next day.

ੈ♡˳ N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there's not much he hasn't tried, he's been around for a long time after all. if he's in a good mood, he's open to suggestions, he'll fuck you like an animal, make you wear a collar, pull on your leash. . . but turn offs?

at first, he'd be absolutely against pet names and praise. it's not until it slips from your lips for a third time after he's scolded you that he realises how much he actually likes it.

it's not often that he behaves well enough to be called a 'good boy', though.

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

[smutinlove]

ᴊᴀꜱᴏɴ ᴛᴏᴅᴅ—ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ

—You know what this is. For my fellow Jason Todd lovers, this is for you.

✯A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

This man can either be rough or soft. But most of the time, he is rough. But he also loves taking care of you. After sex, he'd run a bath for you or give you a well-deserved massage while whispering something along the lines of, "You did so good, love."

✯B = Body part (His favorite body part of yours)

He is a total thigh man. He loves your thighs. Jason loves seeing you wear short shorts that show off your thighs. He also loves it when you sit down and your thighs quadruple in size. It always gets him in the mood.

✯C = Consent (He's a gentleman)

He will NEVER do anything to you without asking first. Jason would hate to see you hurt, especially if he hurt you. He couldn't live with himself if he were the one that hurt you.

✯D = Dirty secret (Very obvious)

Whenever you're out or not around, he'll raid your closet and masturbate using a piece of your clothing. (He is a major horndog)

✯E = Experience (How experienced is he?)

He's had a few flings and hookups before he died. He's experimented with a few things. (Toys etc..) He's a very experienced person. Jason's a quick learner when it comes to you as well. He knows what you feel uncomfortable and comfortable with.

He's occasionally asked Dick or Bruce for advice as well. (Bruce would probably avoid the question and say he needs to go on patrol or something. But Dick would definitely answer and questions from Jason.)

✯F = Favorite position

Missionary. He loves seeing you squirm and moan beneath him while he fucks you until you can't walk straight. And if he's in an extra special mood (jealous/angry) his hands suddenly find their way to your neck, giving you a rough squeeze and ramming into you like it's his last day on earth.

✯G = Goofy (Is Jason more serious or just goofy?)

It depends on Jason's mood. Sometimes he'll make jokes and tease you. But mostly, he's serious and into the moment. And when he's angry or frustrated, he always feels better when he hears you scream his name and moan.

✯H = Hair (Does the carpet match the drapes?)

Jason keeps himself neat. He occasionally has a bit of facial stubble. And he may or may not have a bush down there. But if you want him to shave, he will. He's good like that.

✯I = Intimacy (How is he during the moment? Romantic aspect)

I feel like Jason would get a bit uncomfortable when he feels vulnerable. But during sex, he's definitely more rough and does his best to ask how you are.

Jason struggles with showing his emotions and expressing his feelings, but it's something he's working on.

But when you're not having sex, he knows you. Jason is great at reading your feelings. He knows what you want and don't want. He will always want to make you happy and remind you that you're loved.

✯J = Jacking off

(Mentioned in dirty secrets) He really only does it when you're not around. Most of the time, you are the number one thing on Jason's mind, causing him to get hard and have to do something about it.

✯K = Kinks

Size kink - He has a major size kink. He's around 6 feet and he loves the feeling of being bigger than you. He loves towering over you and randomly picking you up, feeling your figure against his chest.

Choking - After he was thrown into the lazarus pit, his grew. A lot. He became stronger as well. He loves the feeling of having control over you. The way you squirm under his grasp makes him feel powerful.

Orgasm denial - He loves to see you beg. Jason wants you begging for even the slightest bit of release. It makes him

✯L = Location (Fav place)

He isn't picky. He will bend you over a sink at your local Arby's if it meant he could fuck you. But Jason loves fucking you in the shower. Him seeing you squirming and moaning under him as he fucks you in a tight secluded space does something to him in so many ways.

✯ M = Motivation (What turns him on)

Jealousy. He absolutely hates it when you talk to other men. He's very possessive over you. The idea of you even taking a small liking to ANYONE pisses him off.

Arguing/bickering. This man loves chaos. It's his natural home. And whenever you two fight, it gets him hard. And that leads to angry makeup sex.

✯N = No (Turns offs)

Gun/knife play - NEVER. He would hate to put you under that kind of thing. Jason would never dream of hurting you. And he grew up in one of Gotham's crime alleys. He knows all the disgusting things that happen.

Threesomes are a no. He hates sharing, especially when it comes to you. The slightest thought of it angers him. He also does not want anyone else to look at you.

✯O = Oral (Preferences in giving receiving, skill, etc..)

This man knows how to eat pussy. He'd eat you out like it's his last meal. He's good at it. He knows what makes you scream. But Jason also doesn't mind being given head. He teases you, calling you a "good girl" and he praises you when you swallow his come.

✯P = Pace (is he fast and rough? slow and gentle?)

It'd depend on his mode really. But he likes to fuck you hard, but he knows how much you can take. He'll definitely hold your hand. And later on, he'll run you a bath and take care of you.

✯Q = Quickie (his opinion, how often etc..)

He'll never say no to a quickie if you two are down bad. But Jason prefers to take his time with you. He wants you screaming and begging for release. He just loves to tease and make fun of you.

✯R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's not much of a risk-taker. (He def can't be an entrepreneur.) If you want him to try something new, you'd have to beg. And it would take a long time for him to actually warm up to it. He'd be okay to use restraints if it's okay with you. But he would never put himself in a submissive position.

✯S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go? how long?)

It would depend on his mood, really. He could definitely go for a round or two if it's just casual sex. But if he's angry or jealous? You will not be able to walk for a few days minimum.

✯T = Toy (do they own toys? do they use them? do they use them on their partner?)

Jason would NEVER use them on himself. He hates feeling submissive and losing control. But on you? Definitely. I feel like he would definitely use handcuffs on you just to stop you from moving your hands so much when he's devouring your cunt.

✯U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jason motherfucking Todd is the biggest tease ever. He will touch you everywhere but where you want him too. He wants you begging for him. Jason wants you screaming his name, begging him to touch you where you want him too.

✯V = Volume (how loud they are, etc...)

Jason isn't really loud. You'll hear an occasional grunt or low moan coming from him. But he will definitely pull your hair and give you an occasional reminder that HE is the one pounding into you.

✯W = Wild card (random headcanon for character)

Jason wants to dominate you. Period.

✯X = X-ray (what's happening under those clothes?)

his cock is def 8-9 inches. no explanation needed.

✯Y = Yearning (sex drive)

Jason definitely has a high sex drive. He would definitely fuck you all day.

✯Z = Zzz (sleep)

He doesn't fall asleep until you do. He wants to make you feel comfortable and protected. He's a gentleman (most of the time) frr.

»»————<3———-««

im def going back into my jason todd phase. maybe i'll do one for dick and bruce. <3

anyway this took so long to write and im tired. VERY TIRED. maybe jason can tuck me into bed and give me a kiss?

[starlostseungmin]

husband!hyunjin

✰ notes: here concludes my husband!skz series with hyunjin. i hope you enjoyed this as much as i enjoyed writing everyone! not proofread and not edited. DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS! thank you <33

seungmin , chan , lee know , jeongin , han , changbin , felix（ hyunjin ）

ꔛ

Husband Hyunjin whom everyone expected to make a grand proposal, prepared a simple candlelight dinner in your shared apartment and cooked your favorite meals. You thought it was just a usual dinner date at home which you’d do sometimes. He suddenly got down on one knee and opened a small box with a diamond ring, “Will you be my everlasting muse? The one who would love to spend the rest of their life with me?” 

Husband Hyunjin who cried and hugged you tightly as he thanked you for saying yes. 

Husband Hyunjin who was the happiest and got emotional during the weddingーmentally screaming, hair-ripping, toe-curling, exaggerated excitement (sincere), and deeply in thought about how he would spend an eternity with you. 

Husband Hyunjin who loves to stare at you while talking, especially on your lips thinking how much he wants to kiss you. His kisses start with innocent, soft, and warm then later change into intimate, hot, and intoxicating which makes you get addicted to them. 

Husband Hyunjin who loves to be babied and cuddled when he’s tired or just wants to be a small spoon whenever he feels like it. He’d refuse to go to work just to stay in bed all day with you. 

Husband Hyunjin whose dates consist of visiting art museums, picnics, watching musicals or movies, evening strolls, and road trips. Sometimes it gets over the moon when he decides to take you to (country) because you’ve been dying to visit the place. He giggled nonstop when he surprised you that he bought the tickets. 

Husband Hyunjin who would always bring his sketchbook and camera on dates just to take a picture of you or make his hand busy sketching a portrait of you just because he finds you beautiful every time. He will show them to you when he’s done. The pictures or sketches will be hung on your shared apartment's wall for safekeeping and memories. 

Husband Hyunjin who drives you crazy when he’s just doing normal things like simply unbuttoning his polo, rolling up his sleeves, taking off his jacket showing his bodybuild especially when he wears a tanktop inside, brushing his bangs upward, dancing? It would add fuel to the fire when he kisses you like a man starved from your touch. 

Husband Hyunjin who brings you food and medicine when you get sick. He will probably take his day off from work depending on how fast your recovery is that it would take days for him to sit there and take care of you. The type to make sure that you won’t die since he would end up grieving so hard. “It’s just a mild flu, Hyunjin.” “Are you sure?” 

Husband Hyunjin who is loud and dramatic whenever he realizes he got betrayed, lost a game, or is just being dumb (lovingly). He and Jisung are a perfect match and you’re the one who actually gets in between. 

Husband Hyunjin who gets shy whenever you compliment him but sometimes he would feel a blast of confidence that he gives you a wink as a response and becomes flirty.

Husband Hyunjin who loves to make a fool of himself, vocabulary just consists of memes (you can blame Han and Felix for that) cringes at his own cuteness and regrets it later just to make you laugh. 

Husband Hyunjin who lets you play with his long hair. He loves it when you do pigtails. You often tease him that he looks like Boo from Monsters Inc. 

Husband Hyunjin whom Kkami wants to disown. 

Husband Hyunjin who tries his hardest to comfort you as best as he can whenever he sees you being vulnerable in trying times. Promised not to leave you alone until you feel better, crack a dad joke he got from Chan to lift the atmosphere (which is effective by the way) and take you to his arms, whispering how he is proud of you. 

Husband Hyunjin who made a playlist filled with songs that make him think about you, scream your vibe, and the ones that would portray his exact feelings. Sometimes he would write down lyrics about how lovesick and hopeless romantic he is. All songs and melodies are heavily inspired by you. 

Husband Hyunjin who loves to send you selfies, videos of him taken by the members that serve husband material, and voice messages whenever he’s abroad because he misses you so much that he cries himself to sleep and can’t wait to go home. It’s also necessary to send you short vlogs and pictures of sceneries of the places he went without you because of work and leave messages like, “This reminds me of you.” “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Let’s visit this place together soon!” “I’m sure you’d like these souvenirs I got you!” “The food out here is great! Treat me here soon!” 

Husband Hyunjin whose love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, gift-giving, quality time, and acts of service. 

Husband Hyunjin who loves to spoil you even if you tell him not to spend a lot of money on you but he won’t listen and insists on accepting them. 

Husband Hyunjin who doesn’t admit his mistakes during the first few minutes of the argument but later apologizes over and over again and promises never to do it again. He’s also the type that is hard to make up with but he can’t keep it up for hours and just cuddles you whispering “I’m sorry, I’ll do better.” 

Husband Hyunjin who gets jealous easily and is possessive whenever he sees you having a good time with his members. “I’m yours, Hyunjin. Don’t worry.” You’d say but you know that is not enough for him so he’d show you to whom you belong (affectionately, or depending on how you both want it).

Husband Hyunjin who refused to get a divorce when you felt that your marriage was falling apart because he couldn’t imagine his life without you. He won’t let go of you easily and you didn’t even make any attempts to leave him. 

Husband Hyunjin who is careful whenever in talks of having kids because your decision matters in this relationship but he would reassure you that if you ever wanted to have one, he will be the best dad your kid could ask for. 

Husband Hyunjin who is the most precious, kind, and pure to your heart that you wouldn’t even want to live a life without him. He is the moon and stars to your night, the sunshine after the rain, the rose amongst the thorns, and the pretty shells you find on a beach where no one knows. 

Husband Hyunjin who holds your hand and intertwines your fingers as he kisses your knuckles saying, “I love you.” 

Husband Hyunjin whose wedding vows are not enough to show how much he would love to spend his entire life with you. “I fucking love you so fucking much and we’re married, you can’t leave. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not!” 

✰ taglist: @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji , @starseungs , @midsoulz , @oddracha , @armystay89 , @lashaemorow

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[signedkoko]

Heyo! I return!!!!

Could I get a mammon, blitzø and alastor (separate) with a wife reader who’s really oblivious and ditzy? Sorta like a bimbo?

🦷 anon! <33333

Alastor | Blitzo | Mammon [Romantic]

In which their partner is extremely oblivious and ditzy.

Well, that's what he was here for, isn't it?

To make it look like you know what you're doing, to be the reason or you little 'show'

According to the public eye, if you're his partner then theres no way it's not a character, Alastor would NEVER date a clutz, let alone have the patience for one

Alastor found these little whispers amusing

Everyone thought they had some idea of what he was, but they were always throwing darts at the wrong board

All the better for him, he gets the joy of you making every day new and exciting as well as the strange rumours people came up with about the two of you

Everyone else was just so boring, so pitiful to the overlord

Either kneeling to his every wish, or putting on a face until he left them alone, or the rare run away screaming

But when you bumped into him on the street, you asked him if he was that 'one guy who tortured people and put it online' before you even apologized

Then you asked if he would kill you, and when he said yes, you asked if he could not

Oh yes, that made him laugh alright, you were such a cracking star

Anytime you might ask something stupid, he turns it into a joke and explain it to you later behind closed doors

Falling? tripping over yourself? He catches you and makes it look like a romantic dip, or a small dance

To him, you're cluelessness has its charm, because you've always been so honest and forward about everything that he doesn't ever feel like he has to pull secrets from you

You also amuse his every little quirk, which everyone else just finds weird, so that's a major plus

Oh my god he is so stupid

But you make him look so smart it's insane, just add you to the room and suddenly he's a genius

At first, it was just by comparison, but now in order to compensate for you he is always trying his best to be the smartest he can be

Especially in his line of work, Blitzo doesn't like the idea of making a mistake that could cost your life

So instead he trains to make sure he can save you when you need it

You guys are very damsel in distress/knight in shining armour

Except this kind of backfires because him being so serious starts to get him caught a lot...and you always manage to get him out (usually by mistake)

Like that one time you busted into a room full of 20 armed demons and dropped your gun when they came at you, but it went off and landed in a crate of explosives

I mean both of you were very injured but you both got out soooo

" You really are the dumbest slut I know, my sweetie-pie. "

He gets really defensive about you, though

Sure, he’s your husband so he can make fun of you

But if anyone else calls you anything along the lines of stupid or useless he blows up on them

Sure, you're a bit oblivious, but they don't know your talents, and all the things you teach him behind closed doors

He won't let anyone get away with being cruel to you

A little bit of a roger rabbit and jessica rabbit duo

Honestly exactly his type

Extremely wealthy husband and his bimbo wife?

The newspaper headlines go crazy for you guys and your strange duo, and a lot of photos of the two of you together are popular

Sort of funny looking tree man and his dolled up wifey

He's not really the brightest either, not when it comes to simple things that don't have to do with money or his status

So you are both very oblivious to things that aren't entirely straightforward and always have to whisper back and forth about a topic until you can figure it out

Two idiots in love

Nevertheless, he loves your dependance on him

He likes that you are always by his side in case you need help, so you are safe and sound

He's just as clingy as you are, he always has one arm around your waist

Calls you all sorts of sort of derogatory pet names but in a loving way

Dolly, sweetheart, gorgeous, legs, etc etc

Honestly though you are also probably explaining as much to him as he is you, just in different topics

But he has the confidence to go with his lack of knowledge and obliviousness

And confidence gets you far

" Yeah, like, the moon is full once a week or some shit "

" Isn't it once a month? "

" No doll, that's how often a blue moon occurs. "

" Ohh! Like once in a blue moon? "

Anyone overhearing this shit is fucking rolling in their grave 

Author's Note - Hiii welcome back tooth anon!!! Sorry this took a hot min, for some reaosn this prompt was so hard for me but I REFUSED to give up (Never sleep never what!?!?!) Thank you for requesting, and I hope you enjoy!

[caitified]

i luv ur fics omg 😭 could u do paige x reader who loves horror where paige is scared of horror and they go to halloween horror nights (a haunted house theme park event thing) or watch a horror movie together 💜

haunt

paige bueckers x reader

warnings: none! as someone who gets scared easily i basically wrote myself here as paige..happy late halloween.

you and paige had been planning halloween night for weeks, and tonight was finally the night. there was a haunted house in town everyone had been talking about. at first, paige had acted super confident, teasing you about how you’d be clinging to her the whole time. but as the days passed and halloween night got closer, you noticed a slight shift—her teasing softened, and she started hinting that maybe haunted houses weren’t really her thing. you had your suspicions, but you knew she’d never admit she was scared.

as the five of you arrived at the haunted house with azzi, jana, and aubrey, paige tried her best to play it cool. “just so you know, i’ll protect you all,” she said, winking at you while gripping your hand just a bit tighter than usual.

aubrey raised an eyebrow, giving her a skeptical smile. “sure, paige. we’ll all depend on you.”

azzi and jana exchanged amused glances, both of them a bit more excited than scared, though you could tell they were gearing up for the jump-scares. the entrance to the haunted house loomed ahead, dark and eerie, with creepy music and distant screams filtering out through the walls. you felt paige shift beside you, her fingers trembling slightly as she glanced nervously at the darkened doorway.

“you good, paige?” you teased, leaning close and squeezing her hand.

“me? scared?” she scoffed, sounding a bit too quick to dismiss the idea. “nah, i’m just… mentally preparing.” her voice was confident, but her eyes kept flicking back to the entrance.

you just laughed, finding her bravado adorable. “right, you’ll keep us all safe from the monsters.”

“obviously,” she shot back, puffing up a little. “but, uh, don’t let go of my hand, just in case.”

as you all stepped inside, the door slammed shut with a loud bang, and paige jumped, squeezing your hand even tighter. azzi and aubrey snickered, giving her playful nudges as you walked further into the dimly lit, twisting hallways. shadows seemed to move on their own, and every corner held another actor ready to jump out. with every lunge or sudden scream, you felt paige tense, inching closer and closer to you.

“you sure you’re okay?” you whispered, catching the way her eyes darted around at every little noise.

“totally fine,” she whispered back, trying to sound casual, though her grip on your hand was practically a death grip.

the first jump-scare came from a figure dressed as a ghoul, who leaped out from behind a doorway, and paige let out a yelp, practically leaping into your arms. azzi burst out laughing, clapping her hands, while aubrey teased, “our fearless leader, everyone!”

paige shot them both a glare, mumbling, “it just… caught me off guard.”

jana gave her a knowing smile, shrugging. “if you say so, paige.”

moving on, you came into a foggy room filled with eerie mannequins, some posed in twisted, unnatural shapes. the group hesitated, glancing around, when suddenly one of the “mannequins” came to life, lunging toward you all with a guttural scream. everyone screamed and scrambled, with paige clutching you even closer, burying her face against your shoulder for a moment before peeking out to see if the coast was clear.

“that wasn’t… that bad,” she mumbled, cheeks pink.

“not at all,” you teased, leaning in close. “want me to hold your hand through the rest?”

she rolled her eyes but didn’t let go. “don’t act like you’re not a little scared too,” she murmured, though her voice softened as her fingers laced with yours, grounding herself with your presence.

as the group continued, azzi and jana took the lead, laughing as they bravely navigated the dark hallways, while aubrey stayed closer to you and paige, occasionally tossing a smirk your way when paige shrieked at another scare. when you entered a pitch-black room with only faint, echoing whispers, paige’s breath caught, and she leaned even closer, her hand warm and steady in yours.

“i can’t see anything,” she whispered, her voice a mix of fear and excitement.

you leaned into her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “i’ve got you, paige.”

by the time you made it out to the exit, paige let out a long, relieved breath, still holding your hand as if she didn’t want to let go.

“so… not scary, huh?” you grinned, looking up at her.

paige finally laughed, letting go of your hand just to wrap an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “fine, you win,” she said, grinning down at you. “but next year, we’re carving pumpkins or something.”

sorry for the lack of fics, i’ve been really busy but i’ll be writing more now. requests are STILL open!! thanks for reading

[giamee]

𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘!

╭─────────────────────── ( 🫀 )

there's a certain beauty and pain in being with someone carnally, and nothing more than that

› 〉 📂 .ೃ | friends with benefits, more angst than smut, like this is basically all angst no smut lol, kinda short too mb

header art (left to right) by pcrow ; artsquirre ; _sekidesu

╰─➤ 💌 ₍₁₎ being in a situationship is all fun and games until u catch feelings fr 😕. anyways. let's go thru that pain in this. lowkey i wanna make a part 2 to this with a happy ending cos im SOFT lmaooo

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 ALHAITHAM.

BEING IN... WHATEVER THIS RELATIONSHIP COULD BE CLASSIFIED AS was not good for your mental health. in the past weeks that you and alhaitham had started sleeping together, you had been plunged into one of the worst emotional rollercoasters that you had ever been on.

what didn't help was the way he treated you so differently depending on the setting. you understood not wanting people to know, but did he have to ignore you entirely in public?

he wouldn't even spare you a glance as you walk past each other in the halls, eyes stubbornly trained ahead, leaving you steamrolled in his icy trail. and if you dare to try and talk to him- he'd look at you like you've grown a second head, completely shunning you and walking away as quickly as possible.

but it's a different story behind closed doors- in private, he's the sweetest man alive.

he'll whisper such sweet nothings into your ear, wipe your tears so tenderly with his thumbs like a lover would. he'd prop himself up with an elbow just so that he can gaze into your eyes as he pushes into you, even smiling at you as he watches the way your expression changes.

and the way he kisses you is what really throws you- always with such desperation and urgency, like he needs you in order to breathe when it's quite the opposite. he kisses you like he loves you, and the sensation is dizzying, perplexing when those fantasies are ripped from you in favour of reality.

but you know that you won't ever be his. not properly.

if it was meant to be, he'd at least smile at you as he passed. the more rational parts of your brain screamed at you to call it quits before you're sucked in too deep, but some part of you still held onto the hope that one day he would see you then smile.

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 THOMA.

IT TRULY HURT TO REMEMBER THAT you weren't actually dating thoma. it was easy to get fooled- he was a gentleman, making sure to treat you right even when you weren't fucking. he'd make sure that you were okay, and he never kicked you out as soon as it was over.

he'd ask about your day, take interest in you and what you're doing. and arguably, worst of all, he wasn't afraid to be seen with you. the details that blurred the lines defining your relationship seemed like an afterthought, if the way his arm wrapped around your shoulders indicated anything.

you were his, unofficially or not. it only took a glance to be able to tell.

you liked to think that he was yours, too. that you meant something to him- more than just a pastime and a stress reliever.

there were moments where it was easier to believe it- with the way his eyes remain transfixed on you as you writhe in pleasure, cries of his name leaving your lips- his little coos and reassurances buttering you up, having you right in his palm, so pliant and willing for him.

maybe he got off on knowing that he makes you feel good in every sense of the word. seeing you happy acting as some sort of foreplay, all so he can claim you as his in every way except the one that you wanted most.

the urge to tell him how you feel, those three little words that dangle on the tip of your tongue and fight to be freed, are a constant struggle. but something inside you, some sick gut instinct, stopped you from blurting it out every time.

the fear of his reaction- disgust? confusion? kept you uncertain. a part of you would die if he didn't reciprocate your feelings. it was better not to know, and keep living in the make-belief of being his without the label.

you could only hope that you would be proved wrong one day.

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 WRIOTHESLEY.

DESPITE EVERYTHING, YOU COULDN'T HELP BUT crawl back to him every single time. a never-ending cycle- one that you couldn't escape even if you wanted to.

both of you knew how it goes. you unblock him, play coy for a few messages before he's telling you to come over. you fuck like it's the last time you ever will- it never is- and then you spend the night.

he'll hold you, play with your hair, even kiss you, and you pretend that it's enough. if you're lucky, he'll even lend you a shirt that smells of him to sleep in.

and this facade is fine- while it lasts. but then you remember why you blocked him in the first place- the forced indifference, his refusal to open up. the way it hurt your heart to be pushed aside.

and then you go and ask him what you mean to him. he'll smile at you without mirth, the both of you knowing how this conversation goes. he doesn't want anything serious. you want more.

and then it's tears, you ripping off his shirt and throwing it back at him, storming out of his place and blocking his number with shaking fingers.

you cry yourself to sleep in your cold and empty bed- already sorely missing the warmth of his body as he holds you close to him in his sleep, whether he's aware of that or not.

and you're fine, you tell yourself. you can live without him. and you do, for a little while. honestly, he's the last thing on your mind as you distract yourself with work or seeing your friends.

but then a lonely night gets the best of you, abd you find your finger hovering over the call button next to his name. and you press it, cursing yourself for doing it.

he picks up at the third ring, voice smug as if he knew you couldn't go much longer without him.

and he's right, unfortunately.

you're already out the door, on the way to his apartment.

𝜗𝜚 genshin impact masterlist

[makeitmingi]

Let Me In

Genre: Romance, Angst, Fantasy

Pairing: Seonghwa x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Normal!Reader, Vampire!Seonghwa

Summary: He's the second in command of the most powerful, feared coven. But he hides a secret, a human that made his dead heart feel love. For the rest of her life, he promises to protect her from harm, never wanting her to face the consequences of being his lover. Until one day, his hand is forced.

Word count: 8.3K

[Story warning(s): Reader questions herself and her life, descriptions of violence, gore, blood shed, all things vampire. ATEEZ coven members have horrible pasts, experiences with humans and with each other. Please read at your own discretion.]

The moment you entered your bedroom, you let out a tired sigh and leaned against the closed door, your tired body slumping down slightly. The weight of the day was starting to sink into your bones and the aches in your joints were screaming at you.

Today, after a long day at university, you took a double shift at your work place because you knew the later shifts got paid slightly more for closing up the store.

"Never again." You told yourself. Looking at the clock by your desk, you straightened up and went to your window sill.

Pulling back the curtains, you pushed open the windows. You shivered, it was a chilly cloudy night, the moon barely visible.

"I need a shower." You walked to the drawers to pull out some comfy clothes. Although you just wanted to rest, a part of you knew that a warm shower will help relieve some ache in your muscles.

'Maybe I should just quit now.' You thought, leaning against the tiles. You were working so hard to put yourself through university, for what?

"Argh!" You let out a small shout of frustration. Closing your eyes, you grounded yourself and took a deep breath before exiting the shower and getting changed. You tried to towel dry your hair as you shuffled into your bedroom again to do your night time routine.

"Are you okay? Why did you shout? I thought something happened to you in the shower."

"It's nothing..." You mumbled, putting moisturiser on your arms and legs. Once you were done, you gathered your dirty clothes in your arms to do laundry.

"Sorry, I forgot. Come in, Hwa." You said before walking out into the hallway. You heard the heels of his shoes lightly knock on the floor.

"My love, what's wrong?" The male, having removed his shoes, walked over to where you were.

"Nothing. I'm just tired." You shook your head as you poured soap into the washing machine and started a cycle. When you straightened up, you saw the worried frown on his face.

"I'm fine, Hwa. Really." You placed a hand on his arm. His cold hand came up to cup your cheek, making you shiver slightly.

"Look at me." He said. You looked up, meeting his eyes. His own dark orbs searched yours, seemingly trying to find out if you were telling the truth or not. You felt him wrap an arm around you to pull you to his body. His body was cold but sturdy, letting you rest your entire weight on him.

"My love..." He stroked the back of your head to soothe you while your forehead rested against his chest. You closed your eyes for a second, savouring his familiar scent and how much it comforted you.

Seonghwa came to your window ledge every night, waiting for you to let him in. After all, that's the rule of vampires. He couldn't come in unless you let him.

"Let's get you to bed, hmm?" The moment he felt you nod against him, you were in his arms as he carried you to bed.

"Rest, my love. You must be tired." He whispered, keeping you protectively in his hold.

Never in his life time did Seonghwa think that he would be here, holding a human like his life depended on it. But when he met you, something blossomed in him, he's never felt it before.

All he wanted to do was to have you, protects you and love you. Was it really love? Seonghwa wouldn't know, he's never experienced it.

It took him a long time to convince you that he seriously loves you and wouldn't hurt you ever, never in a million years. He gave you space, showed you kindness, patience and support. Along the way, he gave you a purpose, even if you knew you would outlive him.

But you were a secret. Seonghwa's coven was the most powerful and he was the second in command. He couldn't be with a human, he knew his enemies would use you against him.

If his coven faced a downfall, it would be his fault. Because he knew, he would give everything up to ensure your safety.

Would his coven hate him? Kick him out? Seonghwa prays that he never finds out.

But just how did you meet?

Seonghwa was being chased by a vampire hunter after saving one of his coven brothers. He wasn't healing well and he thought that was it, the vampire hunter would end his life.

Until you found him. At first, you didn't know he was a vampire so you brought him into your house. When you realised, you nearly ran for the hills but Seonghwa said he was too weak to even hurt you.

"Will drinking my blood help you heal faster?" You winced as you asked, already fearing the repurcussions of your question. Why were you determined to save this vampire? He's probably killed many humans before to take their blood, he probably doesn't deserve to live and you should just let him die.

"Human blood does help my healing abilities." Seonghwa winced in real pain.

"But... How will you know when to stop?" You asked timidly. What if you let him drink from you and he can't stop until he's drained you entirely? You will be responsible for your own death.

"I won't." He admitted. Right, that totally convinced you more.

"Okay, you know what. Just do it." You sighed in defeat. Whatever fate has in store for you, you're resigned to it. What did you have to live for anyway?

"Are you sure? You could die." He touched your cheek. Was dying sending him into a delirium? Usually, Seonghwa wouldn't think twice if a delicious smelling human was offering herself up to him.

But a part him was hesitant. Looking at you, he didn't want to hurt you or worse, kill you.

"I already said yes, Mr Vampire. Stop stalling or you're making me doubt my decision. Just do it, okay?" You frowned. What was with this guy? Aren't vampire blood thirsty and would readily jump a human for a taste of their blood?

"Okay, come closer. And my name is Seonghwa." He hissed in pain.

"Right because I totally want to know my killer's name." You sighed, inching yourself closer to him.

"Do you have to drink from my neck though? It feels... a little intimate..." You squirmed. If Seonghwa wasn't in such agony, he would have found you a peculiar little human with your questions.

"It's better." He said. Wrapping an arm around his waist, you helped him sit up properly on the couch.

"Now, turn your body towards me and drape your legs over my lap." He instructed. You did as you were told, steadying yourself with an arm around his shoulders.

You pursed your lips at the close proximity, feeling your face heat up. Gosh, he was definitely good looking. Great, have a big crush on the thing that might kill you. You consoled yourself that at least if you died, the last thing you'll see is a handsome face.

"Please be gentle?" You let out a nervous laugh. You shivered as you felt his breath on your neck when he leaned in.

"Thank you." Was all he said before you felt a little prick on your neck and you were out like a light.

You woke up a day later, surprisingly alive. There was a bandage on your neck, covering the 2 small holes. That cemented the fact that it wasn't a dream and you really had an encounter with a vampire.

But you didn't expect him to appear at your window two nights later. Not to take your blood but to thank you properly.

He accompanied you that night, telling you more about himself, minus the gory backstories and details, and learning more about you.

As your relationship bloomed, Seonghwa told you that will be the first and last time he ever took blood from you. He was serious about never hurting you again.

"What's going on in there?" Seonghwa felt you lightly tap his forehead. He grasped your hand, kissing your fingertips.

"Thinking about you." He chuckled. You scoffed, you knew he was always thinking about how the two of you met. Well, you didn't blame him, you didn't think you would by lying here with a vampire by your side either. And somehow, that vampire would be the only source of happiness in your life.

"Hwa, can I asked you, how have you... lived... for so long?" You asked.

"Well, I don't exactly have a choice, love." He let out another small laugh of amusement. You rolled your eyes, knowing he was just teasing you.

"You know what I mean... At some point, have you wanted to just... give it all up? After all, you've lived through everything." You said.

"Of course, after a few hundred years, humans get a little boring." He shrugged.

"Seonghwa! I'm being serious here." You slapped his chest with a small pout. Seonghwa laughed and wrapped his arms around you, kissing your head.

"Alright, alright. Let's put it this way, love. If I did give it all up, thinking I've already done everything there is to life, I wouldn't have met you." He looked into your eyes, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"I wouldn't know what love is, what love feels like. I wouldn't know what it's like to love and protect something so much to the point where you'd willing give up everything for." He said softly, bringing you close to press his lips against yours.

"I love you, Hwa." You hugged him.

"I love you too. So, don't give up just yet." He said, resting his cheek against the crown of your head.

"It's tiring. What am I even working so hard for? I work to put myself through university to get a degree, just to go out and work again." You sighed.

"If you'd just let me help, you wouldn't have to work. Could just focus on university." He pointed out. You lifted your head to glare at him.

"Okay, I know. Bad idea, stupid Hwa. I'll shut up now." He said just as you opened your mouth to scold him.

It wasn't a secret that Seonghwa, as a result of his coven, is loaded. Typical, right? He has always offered to support you financially or just loan you the money but you've always declined it.

"You know that I'll never take your money, even if it's just a loan. If I want to do something, it's gotta come from me. I don't take handouts." You chewed on your bottom lip. Seonghwa looked at you fondly, you were such a resilient human. But he hated how you tire yourself out and work yourself to the bone.

"Love, it's not handout. I'm your boyfriend. Not some sponsor or loan shark. I just want to help you, see you less stressed or burnt out." He said.

"I'll be fine. It's just one of those moments... I'll get over it soon." You groaned.

"You're not alone, alright? I'm here now." He said. Sometimes, it hurt to think that Seonghwa will out live you. He says that he'll be with you forever but what about when you're old and frail?

"Thanks, Hwa. I'm glad I have you." You gave him a peck.

You grew up with your grandmother, never knowing what happened to your birth parents. After your grandmother died, you were left alone to fend for yourself.

You spent your entire life just going with the flow. It was mundane but you never really sought to venture out of your ordinary routine, until you met Seonghwa. Now, your routine is still the same with school and work but Seonghwa visits every night.

"Seonghwa, are you sure you can visit every night? Isn't night time when vampires are the most active?" You asked.

"That's tradition but no. As long as I do my tasks, the coven doesn't really question me." Seonghwa replied. Or rather, they wouldn't dare question the second in command.

"You never told me what your special power is." You said.

"What special power? Where are all these questions coming from?" He chuckled.

"On my way home, I passed by the bookstore and saw someone buying a copy of 'Twilight'." You said. Seonghwa let out a loud groan of annoyance while you snickered, he hates that book.

"In the story, they all have an individual power, besides the speed, super strength and healing abilities." You reasoned.

"I've told you countless times, that book is trash. It's so fictional. Vampires may prefer to work at night because it's less exhausting but I don't sparkle like a diamond when I'm in sunlight." Seonghwa rolled his eyes. You remember how he threw away your entire box collection when he saw it.

"Your hate of the Twilight saga aside. Back to the point, do you have a special power? And what is it?" You asked, an excited twinkle in your eye. Seonghwa cast you a flat look.

"It's late. Can you go to sleep? I'll tell you another time, alright?" He rolled his eyes.

"Come on." You whined.

"Love, you have to wake up for class tomorrow." Seonghwa argued. You pouted but sighed in defeat, giving him a dirty look before laying down to go to sleep.

Seonghwa didn't sleep but he still liked to stay with you for as long as he could.

Your question scared him a little. He didn't want you to know that his leader made him the second in command because of how strong his powers are.

When you woke up the next day, you were alone in bed. Seonghwa never stayed the whole night, you were fine with it. Exiting your bathroom, you found the clothes that you put in the wash last night were hung out to dry.

"Thanks, Hwa." You smiled softly and went to wash up to get ready for the day.

"Don't give up just yet."

His words from last night were fresh in your head. Seonghwa has lived for so long and hasn't given up, your years were measly compared to his. Who were you to give up?

"Let's do this." Slinging your book bag over your shoulder, you headed out the door to go to your university.

-

"Hyung? What are you doing out there?" Wooyoung asked from the confines of the house.

"Just thinking..." Seonghwa sighed. Unlike Wooyoung, Seonghwa has been a vampire a lot longer and has grown accustomed to being in the sun for longer periods of time without feeling the exhaustion or sensitivity. Opening his eyes, he turned around and headed into the house, closing the door behind him.

"What's up, Wooyoung?" Seonghwa questioned.

"Hongjoong hyung is looking for you." Wooyoung informed. Seonghwa nodded and headed down to the basement of the house. He knocked on the double doors before entering.

"Hongjoong, you were looking for me?" Seonghwa greeted the coven leader with a bow.

"Yunho said there are more trespassers coming into our area. I think we should increase the patrol with the smaller covens." He said.

"I agree. When you say trespassers, new vampires? Or-"

"Hunters. Some of them don't really trust the peace treaty we have with the humans. They haven't done anything but I don't want them coming too close." Hongjoong sighed, rubbing his temples.

"I understand, I'll let the other covens know." Seonghwa bowed his head.

Although Seonghwa and Hongjoong have known each other and been best friends for hundreds of years, Seonghwa still threaded lightly when it came to treating Hongjoong like a friend more than a leader. To vampires, ranking was important.

"You okay?" Hongjoong tilted his head, genuinely worried.

"Yeah. Just thinking about the hunters. We can protect ourselves, no doubt. But the smaller covens may struggle." Seonghwa lied.

"They'll definitely use the smaller covens to try and get us. But we'll manage. Can you go with San for tonight's stake out? We could use you." Hongjoong asked.

"You know I don't work with the brawn." Seonghwa chuckled, trying to joke with Hongjoong.

"Would you prefer to go with Wooyoung then?" Hongjoong asked, an understanding smile on his face.

Seonghwa knew that Hongjoong really did care for him and his opinion, which he was grateful for. They had supported each other for so long and grew their coven together.

The 8 members were split into 2 groups, the brains and the brawn. Seonghwa and Hongjoong alongside 2 other members; Wooyoung and Yunho, were the brains. The other 4 members were the brawn, utilised more for their brute strength. That's how they worked so well together as a coven.

"Sometimes I wonder, if we'll truly, ever be able to exist peacefully alongside humans." Hongjoong said, going to stand by his window.

"Human's have literature that paint us as the enemy. That's never going to end." Seonghwa shrugged, trying to suppress the smile as he remembered the Twilight conversation with you.

The coven got their blood mainly from blood banks and human suicides now. Last time, it was different.

"I know it doesn't pardon us from what we've done in the past." Hongjoong smiled bitterly.

When vampires were forced to hunt humans a long time ago, it was truly a war. Yes, some members of their coven have hunted before, for survival.

"There are still rogues, Hongjoong. No matter how much we try to stop them and hunt them. New ones pop up." Seonghwa said.

"Mmm, Jongho caught one going after a child two nights ago." Hongjoong sighed. Seonghwa had a grim look on his face. Even when they hunted humans, their coven never went after children.

"I'll go on a stake out with Wooyoung tonight. We'll keep the border clear." Seonghwa said, patting Hongjoong on the shoulder. He knew that Hongjoong had a lot to deal with, a big burden to carry as the leader of such a powerful coven.

"Thanks, Hwa." Hongjoong smiled. Seonghwa bowed his head before leaving the leader's quarters.

Even though their coven tried to maintain the peace with humans, some coven members didn't particularly like humans after their run in with vampire hunters. That's why Seonghwa keeps you a secret.

"Oh, hyung." San smiled when he saw the blonde emerge from the basement.

"Hey, San." Seonghwa's eyes trailed to the scar over the younger's eyebrow. Just one of the scars left by vampire hunters.

"You spoke to Hongjoong hyung?" San blinked.

"Yeah, he updated me on the trespassers and border issues recently. I'll be heading out with Wooyoung tonight to assess and control the situation." Seonghwa informed.

"Okay. I'll see you tonight then." San bowed and went upstairs to his room.

Once Seonghwa was in his own room, he took his phone out to drop you a text, letting you know that he may not come tonight. Even if he did, he'll be late. It did hurt him slightly, Seonghwa didn't want you to think that he put the coven before you. But that's the sacrifice he had to make to keep you a secret.

'Of course, Hwa. I understand, your coven needs you. You shouldn't neglect your duties. Don't worry about me, I'll be okay. I'll just see you tomorrow night <3 - (y/n)'

He didn't expect anything less, of course you were understanding and told him to focus on his coven's needs instead.

'I love you. Rest well. - Hwa'

'I love you too. Stay safe, alright? And thanks for handling my laundry for me this morning. - (y/n)'

Smiling to himself, Seonghwa put his phone aside. Since he doesn't sleep, he always got out of bed before you woke up and helped you do your morning chores like laundry and cleaning.

Just to give you one less thing to do in your already busy day.

He entered his bathroom to shower. After his shower, he stared at himself in the mirror.

The coven mark right under his right eye. You didn't know that it was there, another thing Seonghwa hid from you. But no one questioned it, it was normal for him to hide it when he's amongst humans.

Seonghwa knew you would ask him why he got it in such an obvious spot. But he didn't want to lie to you again, the truth was that Hongjoong held him down and forced him to get it when he was on a rampage a long time ago.

At that time, Hongjoong was a ticking time bomb. Questioning everything when his own brother was murdered by a vampire hunter. He wanted Seonghwa to prove his loyalty this way.

"I'm going out to visit to meet our neighbouring covens." Seonghwa said as he came back downstairs.

"Want us to come with?" Yunho offered, looking up from his cereal bowl.

Vampires don't gain nutritional value from human food but they always had some laying around to snack on for fun. Some ate it to reminisce the taste of when they enjoyed it as humans.

"It's alright, I'd rather walk on my own." Seonghwa pulled his hood up and left the house.

Just as he exited the house, a truck pulled up. It was the group that supplied their coven with blood.

"Boys, our supply is here." Seonghwa announced. Yunho and Jongho were there in a few seconds, helping carry the boxes of blood packs into the house. Seeing that everything was in order, Seonghwa grabbed a blood pack from one of the boxes and left to finish his duties for the day.

As he walked, he used his fang to pierce a corner of the bag to drink it. Nothing compared to the taste of your blood, the best that Seonghwa's ever had in his entire life time.

But as soon as the memory entered his head, he shook it away before the temptation hit. He swore he would never take blood from you again.

When he drank from you, he knew he was a goner. For the first time in a long time, he felt himself lose all self control.

That was, until you grew limp against him. The sinking weight of your head and body on his own jolted him out of his blood trance.

It took so much will power to pull away from you. He was scared that he had killed you but when he felt your weak pulse, he was relieved. He sat there for a while with you in his lap as he healed.

Then he carried you to bed, tended to your wound and left for the night.

No, Seonghwa didn't love you because of the taste of your blood. That was a separate thing and he didn't let that desire for your blood cloud his feelings. That's why Seonghwa promised to never take your blood again, even if you did offer it to him to satiate his hunger.

Tossing the now empty blood pack aside, Seonghwa looked at the sky, seeing the dark clouds roll in. He was suddenly hit with a heavy feeling in his chest.

Hopefully everything will be okay.

-

"There's been another mysterious killing. The bodies of 3 men, armed with weapons, have been found viciously mutilated. Police suspect that this could be due to gang activity..."

You looked at the television that was left on while you and your colleague closed up the shop for the day.

"Did you see this, (y/n)?" She gasped. You looked up at the television of the crime scene. Although they were blurred out, the weapons found on the 3 dead bodies made it clear to you that they were vampire hunters. From the looks of it, the vampire or vampires made it out alive.

Seonghwa always told you that vampire hunters carry silver as they can seriously injure vampires. It was one of the only things those vampire fantasy books were accurate about.

"Are you done? We can lock up." She smiled, turning off the television. You nodded and grabbed your bag.

"Get home safe." You wished.

"You too." She giggled and waved to you before you parted ways. As you headed home, you thought about Seonghwa. You didn't see him last night.

'I saw the news about the 3 bodies. They're vampire hunters, aren't they? Are you safe? - (y/n)'

'You're right, my love. Yes, don't worry. It wasn't us, one of the smaller covens but they managed to get away safely. - Hwa'

'That's good, I hope they're okay. I didn't see you last night so I wanted to make sure you were not one of the ones that were fighting the hunters. - (y/n)'

'My love, you're probably the only human that is worried that the vampires are okay, not the humans. And you may not have seen me but I, for sure, saw you. Of course I have to make sure you're safe in bed, even if I'm not there to accompany you. - Hwa'

'You dropped by? - (y/n)'

'For a bit, just to see if you were asleep and safe. - Hwa'

'You should have knocked or woken me up. I would have let you in. - (y/n)'

'You know I would never do that. I would not risk waking you, no matter how much I miss you. - Hwa'

'Unfortunately, I cannot come tonight. With the vampire hunters' attack, my leader needs me to help scout out our area and visit the attacked covens to make sure they're okay. I'm sorry. - Hwa'

'No need to apologise. This is for your safety and the coven's, which is more important. And the attacked covens need all the help and support they can get, I'd rather sacrifice my time with you than to know they're struggling on their own. I'll be fine, I'm headed home now anyway. - (y/n)'

'You're such a peculiar kind human, love. - Hwa'

'I'm going to ignore the fact that you just called me weird and focus on the 'kind' only. - (y/n)'

'Of course, you are very kind, that's why I love you. I love you so much, my love. - Hwa'

'I love you too, Hwa. Please be careful and take care when you're facing those hunters. If you drop by tonight, please wake me up. I'll let you in. - (y/n)'

When you arrived at home, you went straight to take a shower, not bothering to open your windows since Seonghwa wasn't coming.

"Laundry..." You were standing in your kitchen when you heard an ear piercing scream, making you jump.

"What was that?" Your apartment building was small and old, you stay on the top floor, which was the third floor. The scream sounded like it came from your downstairs neighbour. As much as you wanted to see what happened, something in you told you to stay away.

*BANG*

Then a shot rang out through the building. It was almost deafeaning. Quickly, you went to lock your door and grabbed your phone.

"Love? What's wrong?" Seonghwa already knew something was up. You never call him because that would risk his coven brothers finding out about you. For you to do, something was definitely wrong.

"H-Hwa, there's a shooting in my building... I don't know what's going on... Something is wrong, Hwa..." You panted, feeling the fear creep up in your throat.

"Seonghwa hyung?" Yeosang frowned in confusion.

"Love, speak to me." Seonghwa ignore the younger as he felt a chill wash over him. You were in trouble.

"Hwa, I think they're coming." You whimpered. Seonghwa's mind raced as he tried to figure out what to do. How did the vampire hunters find you?

"Hold on, my love. I'm coming." Seonghwa promised.

"Brothers, I know I have a lot to explain but right now, I need your help. Please." Seonghwa said to his 7 brothers. Hongjoong, at the other end of the meeting table, raised a questioning eyebrow. In the centuries he has known Seonghwa, he has never seen Seonghwa beg so desperately.

*BANG BANG BANG*

There was a pounding on your door. You left your phone on, sliding it under the bed so Seonghwa could hear what was going on. You hid in your room as you heard the main door get busted down.

"Hello?" You heard a gruff voice as a few footsteps entered your house. Your heart was racing.

"There you are." The bedroom door was forced open and you were cornered, facing 5 burly men, armoured and armed.

"W-Who are you?"

"I'm sure you know who we are, sweetheart. Someone in this building is harbouring vampires. And I'm pretty certain that it's you." One of the males smiled at you.

"Vampires? Are you kidding? Vampires aren't real! You busted down my door just for that?" You lied, trying to keep your cool.

"Lying doesn't help your case. If you really don't know what we're talking about, I'm sure your vampire wouldn't mind us sticking around, huh?" The man chuckled. You closed your eyes as you braced yourself for impact.

"A HUMAN?!" San roared, almost stopping in his tracks when he heard Seonghwa tell the group that you're a human.

"Yes, I'm in love with a human. And she needs me right now. I'm the reason she's getting hurt." Seonghwa said as they ran from their home to your house, following Seonghwa's guide.

"Seonghwa-"

"I promise to explain myself later. You can kick me out, banish me, whatever. I just need your help, I need her to be okay. Please, Joong." Seonghwa begged.

"Okay, you owe us that." Hongjoong frowned. He wasn't happy either, feeling betrayal bubble within him.

"Wooyoung, whatever happens. I want you to take her out of there. Make sure she's safe. Please, I trust you." Seonghwa said.

"Alright, hyung. I promise, I'll protect her." Wooyoung agreed, albeit reluctantly. He was here because of Seonghwa. He hated that Seonghwa was reduced to such a state, the one that took him in. But it was what he owed the older, even if this human might be the reason that Seonghwa has to leave the coven.

"Third floor." Seonghwa pointed. Instead of using the window, Seonghwa knew the 8 of them couldn't fit and used the door. Seonghwa stood at the threshold where the door was knocked down.

Seonghwa's eyes turned red as his eyes fell on you, barely conscious, bloodied and bruised, in the hands of the vampire hunter. You were losing consciousness.

"(y/n)!" Seonghwa shouted.

"There you are." The 5 hunters turned to the 8 vampires standing there. You weakly turned your head.

Seonghwa was almost unrecognisable, in a fur hood with a mark beneath his glowing red eyes. You couldn't make the rest out, you guessed they were his coven brothers.

"Love, let me in!" Seonghwa screamed. You looked at how the hunters were aiming their weapons at the 8 vampires. With Seonghwa standing right in front, you didn't want to let him and his brothers in, they could get hurt.

"Love, please! I'm begging you, let me in! PLEASE!" Seonghwa screamed for you, tears falling down his cheeks.

"Let's fight this fair and square." Hongjoong said to the hunters. He exuded so much dominance and power, you automatically knew he was the coven leader.

"Sure. If you can come in." The hunters shrugged and dropped your body to the floor like you were nothing.

"(y/n). If you die now, I'm killing myself right now!" He threatened you.

"Alright... Come in." You breathed painfully. The 8 hooded vampires entered your tiny apartment, bringing their powers with them.

"Seonghwa, don't kill all of them. We need 1 for information." Hongjoong said but Seonghwa couldn't hear anything. All he wanted to do was kill them. But the hunters weren't going to back down.

"Hwa..." You called out but your words came out in a whisper. Your body felt heavy, you couldn't seem to control it.

"Wooyoung, get her out of here." Seonghwa grunted as he dodged a silver bullet. Seonghwa couldn't use his power with you around, he didn't want you to see how he can use his powers on others. You felt yourself get lifted up, meeting the fox-like eyes of one of Seonghwa's coven brothers.

"No... Hwa..." You whimpered.

"Seonghwa hyung will manage. I need to take you to safety. Sleep now." His voice was so calming you slipped into unconsciousness.

"Wake up."

A voice spoke to you, making you open your eyes. You gasped and sat up, finding yourself surrounded by 7 vampires that honestly looked upset with you.

"Human, you've not recovered. But we woke you up because we need you to heal Seonghwa." You remembered his name, Hongjoong, said.

"Don't try anything funny." One of them with an eyebrow scar flashed his fangs at you.

"San, go to your room. You're not needed here." Hongjoong waved the aggressive vampire off, making him storm out of the room. He then turned back to you.

"What happened to Seonghwa?" You asked.

"He was hit bad and we removed the silver but his healing is compromised and slow. He needs fresh blood to heal or he'll die. Considering you're the reason he's in that situation, you should be the one of give him blood." Hongjoong spoke.

"O-Of course." You said. Hongjoong's words cut deep but they held nothing but the truth. You knew his relationship with Seonghwa goes way back, they've known each other forever.

"Mingi, carry her to my room." Hongjoong ordered. A tall male came forward, his face expressionless as he easily lifted you up.

"Hwa!" You nearly leapt out of his arms when you saw the state Seonghwa was in.

"My... love... You're... okay..." Seonghwa smiled weakly as Mingi sat you down in the chair beside Hongjoong's bed. You leaned forward to hold his hand, pressing it against his cheek.

"Thanks to you and your brothers. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, Hwa." You cried against his hand.

"Silly girl... What's there... to be sorry about...? I told you... I'll always p-protect... you..." He winced. You heard Hongjoong clear his throat from behind you, reminding you why you were here in the first place.

"Hwa, you're dying. Drink from me, it's the only way you'll heal properly." You said.

"No." He didn't even hesitate or wait to answer.

"Hwa, please. You're here because of me. You have to!" You sobbed. Now, it was your turn to beg him. Seonghwa swallowed, resting his hand on your head as you cried. He met Hongjoong's eyes, knowing he must be the one that convinced you to do this, telling you that it was your fault that Seonghwa's dying.

"It's not... your fault..." He said.

"I can't let you die, Hwa. You hear me? You cannot die before me. If you don't drink from me, I'll forcefully make you drink from me." You shouted at him.

"You're also recovering... human bodies are fragile... You can't handle me... taking from you..." He told you.

"I may kill you." He looked into your eyes.

"Hongjoong will stop you before you kill me. You can, right?" You turned to Hongjoong, who shrugged but nodded his head. If that will convince Seonghwa to drink from you, he'll agree.

"Please, hyung! You can leave the coven and be with a human, for all I care, but you cannot die." Wooyoung begged.

Suddenly, you grabbed the dagger from the holster of the person closest to you, pointing it at yourself. All the vampires in the room, including Seonghwa was shocked, unsure of what they should do. Seonghwa stared at you with wide eyes.

"My love... What are you... doing? Don't... be rash..." Seonghwa coughed as he didn't have the strength to stop you now.

"Hwa, you begged me to let you in... You said you'll kill yourself if I die. I'll kill myself too if you die." You threatened, bringing the dagger closer to your neck.

"Fine. Just put the dagger down." Seonghwa frowned.

"All those who won't control yourselves, leave now." Hongjoong ordered. A few of them left the room.

"Yeosang, help her up." Hongjoong instructed. You were lifted up again. The best position without Seonghwa having to move much was for you straddle him and lean down.

"You can hug me... I'm... not that... fragile... It's okay to be afraid... But don't be, my love... It's just me, your Hwa... Hmm?" Seonghwa chuckled, weakly reaching a hand up to stroke your cheek. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your body was now just laid over his. His own arms moved to drape over your lower back.

"I'm sorry." Seonghwa pressed a light kiss to your cheek. You tilted your head away, presenting your neck to him.

When Seonghwa bit down, you squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to let any sounds of pain and discomfort out, anything that'll deter him from drinking.

"I love you..." You forced out before your world faded to black.

-

"My love." Seonghwa entered his room. You have been unconscious, laying in Seonghwa's bed, for a week already.

As he feared, Seonghwa took too much from you and needed Hongjoong and Yeosang to tear him away from you and knock him unconscious so he wouldn't kill you.

But even so, the toll was too much on your already injured body so right now, you needed to rest.

"It's been a week. Are you resting well?" He whispered, kissing the back of your hand. You were always warm compared to how cold he was. He smiled softly, reaching over to make sure your hair was not bothering you.

"Take all the time you need, my love. I'll be here." He kissed your forehead. He ignored the sting he felt, he was the reason you were laying there.

After Seonghwa recovered, they sat down to talk. They didn't want to kick Seonghwa out of the coven but some members were uncertain about having a human coexist with them within the same space.

San, Mingi and Yunho were the ones that avoided Seonghwa for now. The decision was left up to them.

And safe to say, Hongjoong still hasn't spoken directly to Seonghwa too. The only time was to tell Seonghwa that no matter the decision, you and he can stay in the house until you have recovered.

"Hyung. Is she okay?" Jongho came in. He was the one with the contact for a doctor that was a vampire, to come check on you.

"Still the same." Seonghwa sighed, his eyes not leaving you.

"What's your plan, hyung?" Jongho asked as he crossed the room and took a seat by the desk that Seonghwa had in the room. It kept a distance between the two of you.

"I don't have the right to ask any of you to live with a human, knowing what some of you have been through with hunters. So I'll do what's best for the coven. But no matter what, I can't leave her. I cannot continue to exist without her." Seonghwa smiled softly as he looked at your peaceful face.

"But she'll die, hyung. Maybe not now but she's human. At some point, she'll die." Jongho stated.

"Then I'll be by her side when the time comes." He said firmly.

"You really love her?" Jongho sat up.

"I thought I experienced everything there is to life, seen all there is to see. But when I met her, everything I experience with her was so new. So yes, I love her more than life." Seonghwa replied.

"You love her so much that you're willing to leave us?" There it was. The stabbing question.

"Jongho, you know this decision isn't easy. I love all of you, you've been my family for so long, especially Hongjoong. But I can't, I can't leave her. I don't want to have to decide between all of you and her."

Not saying another word, Jongho stood up and left the room. Seonghwa moved to lay beside you, carefully moving your body so that you laid on his shoulder and he cradled your body. He buried his face in your hair.

"I'll take care of you forever, my love. As long as you're with me, everything else doesn't matter." He held you to his body.

With how half the coven avoided him, Seonghwa mostly kept to his room. He guarded you, not that he didn't trust his brothers, but he just felt the need to make sure you were safe.

So when you woke up another week, Seonghwa was there. He nearly cried as he showered you in kisses.

"I thought you left me." He said, his forehead pressed to yours.

"I would never." You giggled. He wrapped his arms around you, hugging you to his chest. When you pulled away, you reached out to touch his cheek, specifically the mark under his eye.

"You've hid this." You said but your voice held no anger. Seonghwa placed his hand on top of yours.

"It happened a long time ago. It's the mark of the coven." He explained with a soft smile. You nodded, rubbing your thumb over it gently. You and Seonghwa shared that moment together in silence, emotionally connecting and healing after everything the two of you have been through together.

"You looked so different when you came to the apartment. When you pulled down your hood and your eyes were glowing red, I've never see them like that before." You said to him.

"I didn't scare you, did I?" He frowned in worry.

"Was I scared? A little. But I knew you would never hurt me." You smiled softly.

"That's right." He kissed your knuckles. Seonghwa seemed to be thinking about something but you didn't point it out, not wanting to pressure him into telling you more.

"Love, I think I should tell you about my power. But I need you to promise me that you won't hide from me. Anything, any doubt, you'll ask me, can you do that?" He spoke gently. You nodded your head.

"The reason I'm second in command... is that I can control and manipulate minds." Seonghwa said.

"What does that mean?" You tilted your head.

"I can control the minds of those around me. I can manipulate them to make them think differently, see differently, act differently without them even knowing. There's no way of stopping me from entering their minds." He revealed.

"So... you can like... make people kill each other...? Take over their minds and control them?"

"Yes, in the worst possible way. I can do anything to them as long as they are within my reach. Humans, especially, are more fragile with their minds so they're easier to manipulate." He explained.

"H-Have you ever..." You didn't even want to ask that, it sounded wrong coming out of your mouth.

"My love, I swear on my life, I have never used my power on you. Not once." Seonghwa shook his head frantically, knowing you would ask.

"Okay, I believe you, Hwa." You nodded with a loving smile.

"But what's going to happen to you, Hwa? Your coven knows about me now. I'm so sorry." That was what you were mainly worried about. Seonghwa lifted you to sit on his lap.

"Hey, nothing for you to apologise for. This is my fault, I'm the reason you were targeted in the first place. I told them to decide if I should stay or go. But no matter what, I'm keeping you with me." He informed.

"Hwa, maybe-"

"I don't even want you to finish that sentence, don't even have such a thought in your head. You should know that I'm never leaving you. If they're fine with me staying, you're staying with me. If they're not comfortable, I'll leave and take you with me." He wrapped his arms around your waist.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"Seonghwa hyung, we all need to talk... When you're ready... Downstairs... You may bring her." Yeosang's voice sounded on the other side of the door before you heard his retreating footsteps.

"Hey, hey. It's alright. They won't hurt you, hmm? I won't let them." Seonghwa held your cheeks, planting a kiss on your lips.

"Okay." You whispered. Seonghwa helped you out of bed. He slipped his arm under you to help you down.

All 7 heads whipped around to you the moment you stepped out, your scent filling the whole room. You shrunk back slightly but Seonghwa squeezed your hand reassuringly.

Seonghwa pulled a chair out for you to sit by his side. The other 7 coven members sat at the other end of the table.

This was the first time you were face to face with Seonghwa's coven brothers. You gulped, you felt like your heart was pounding in your ears. You squeezed Seonghwa's hand under the table. Everyone stared at you except Hongjoong, who stared at Seonghwa.

"I'm guessing this is to discuss the coven's decision." Seonghwa broke the silence first.

"Hyung, you can't leave. We need you." Yeosang blurted out.

"Yeosang, you know if I stay, she stays with me. I need you all too. But I also need her." Seonghwa said. You grew conflicted, hearing the coven member's words.

You loved Seonghwa more than life but they needed him. Seonghwa can't leave them, eventually you'll die and he'll be alone. If he stayed with them, they'll accompany him for as long as he lived.

"You sure are self sacrifical, human. Not many humans are like you." Hongjoong spoke, having read your mind.

"What?" Seonghwa frowned.

"She'll die and she doesn't want to leave you alone. She wants you to stay with us. She knows and understands the reality, Hwa. Something you don't seem to get!" Hongjoong slammed his palms down on the table, causing you and the other 6 vampires to flinch. But Seonghwa didn't react.

"When I spoke about coexisting with humans, I didn't mean go out and love one. Betray your family. The ones who have been here." Hongjoong glared.

"Hongjoong, you know I didn't do it to intentionally betray you. Any of you." Seonghwa sighed.

"Can't you turn her?" Wooyoung asked.

"No. Not now... Not yet... It's too soon... I-I can't do that to her. It's too much, all of you should know that." Seonghwa looked all of them in the eye. Seonghwa couldn't just turn you, it wasn't fair to you.

"She saved me when I was saving Mingi from the hunters. She's not like the other humans." Seonghwa revealed.

Mingi flinched at the memory, remembering all the lives lost that night and how Seonghwa sacrificed himself so that Mingi could escape the hunters.

"Give her medal of honour then." San said sarcastically.

"San... I know this isn't fair on any of you. Especially after what many of you have been through with hunters. That's why I left the decision on whether I stay with the coven up to you. The only thing that doesn't change is that (y/n)'s with me." Seonghwa still spoke calmly.

"Enough. I've spoken with all the coven members separately. Many of them have... reservations but left the final decision up to me." Hongjoong told Seonghwa.

"Really?" Seonghwa looked at San, Mingi and Yunho.

"It's too big a decision. Hongjoong hyung has been the leader for centuries, we trust his decision. Even if it's not favourable." Yunho said.

For a few seconds, the room fell into silence again as they waited for Hongjoong to speak again. You swear you were going to pass out from this. You felt like time had just stopped.

How would you live with yourself if you were the reason Seonghwa leaves his coven or that it gets broken up?

"Hwa, I-" You were about to pull your hand away from Seonghwa's but he just gripped it tighter. No, he wasn't going to let you go.

"Seonghwa, you've been with me the longest, even before we had this coven. And we've been through a lot together, everything. And yet, I've never seen you more concerned, to the point where you'll beg us, over anything... I'd never expect it to be a over a human." Hongjoong said.

"I know you're loyal, Seonghwa. You've proven it time and time again. I know you wouldn't put us in danger." Hongjoong continued. Seonghwa reached up to touch the coven mark under his eye.

"This will be like a probation period. You and her can both stay. But she'll stay in the guest house, not here." Hongjoong said.

"That's fair." Seonghwa replied. Hongjoong stood up and the other 6 vampires moved to give their leader space. Casting you one last side glance, Hongjoong walked away.

"Come. You should rest more." Seonghwa turned to you.

"I-I..." You stuttered, not sure what to say or how to react. Yunho led San out of there.

"Sleep."

Soon, you fell against Seonghwa's chest. Seonghwa's eyes widened as he turned to Wooyoung, the other mind controller in the group. Although, not as powerful as Seonghwa. Hongjoong wasn't a mind controller but one of his powers let him read minds.

"I'm sorry, hyung. She's been anxious and stressed the entire time. It was deafening." Wooyoung apologised. Surprisingly, with the help of Jongho, Seonghwa was able to move your body to lift you.

"Thank you, Wooyoung. But please don't do that again." Seonghwa brought you up to the room.

"Hyung." Mingi stopped Seonghwa in his tracks.

"You really love her that much?" Mingi asked, the strain in his voice indicated how hard it was for him to ask that. A part of him in denial.

"I do." The older replied and continued his way up the stairs and into his bedroom. Soon, he'll have to prepare to move to the guesthouse behind their main house.

But for now, Seonghwa didn't want to think about what your future would be, what happens after Hongjoong's 'probation period'. He's just content that he still has you and can protect you properly. Hopefully, his coven will soon be more accepting of you, that they'll see how different you are from the other humans.

And you'll be able to be together for the rest of your mortal life.

~

Masterlist

[sherewrytes]

Love and Gunshots, Eren x Black Reader

Gang member Eren x Introvert black reader

Summary: In a dangerous urban landscape, y/n, an introverted Criminal Law student, finds herself drawn into the violent world of the Sixx Gang through her protective cousin, Onyankopon. When she locks eyes with Eren Yeager, a hot-headed gang member, a twisted game of desire and danger begins.

As Eren becomes obsessed with y/n, he threatens to unravel the fragile balance Ony has maintained to shield her from their brutal lifestyle. With loyalty tested and violence lurking at every turn, the lines between love and danger blur, leading to a dark climax where the heart proves just as lethal as a gun.

Genre: Dark Romance/Crime Modern au

Warnings: Graphic violence, drug use, smut, obsession

I’ll re edit this when I’m better, in the mean time happy reading

Taglist: @topshotdivaa @prettypink-princesss @burpzz @niaizzy1623 @jcoleisbetter @msjaeger @hidd3nbimbo @vampimilikis @nova2kss honeydrzzldpeaches

Chapter 4: After Dark

The room was dead silent except for the faint hum of the city outside. My leg throbbed with every beat of my heart, and the sharp, searing pain made it impossible to sit still. I was gripping the couch cushion like my life depended on it, trying to focus on anything but the bullet lodged in my thigh.

Ony sat across from me, his face cold, unreadable. His AR-15 rested against his leg, but it was his eyes that held the real threat. He was always calculated, but tonight? He was on a different level.

I scoffed, leaning back against the couch despite the pain. 

“You really shot me, huh? All this over a girl?” 

I laughed bitterly, shaking my head. 

“Guess I must’ve hit a nerve.”

Ony didn’t say a word. Instead, he stood, walked over, and leaned down. For a second, I thought he might say something, maybe even offer some twisted apology.

But then his hand shot out, and his fingers pressed into the wound in my thigh.

“FUCK!” 

I screamed, the pain ripping through me like fire. My hands flew up, trying to shove him off, but Ony was solid, unmoving.

He didn’t let up, his face inches from mine, his eyes dead and cold.

 “You think this is a game, huh?” 

he said, his voice low, almost a whisper. 

“You think you’re untouchable?”

I clenched my teeth, my breath coming in ragged gasps. The room swam in and out of focus, and the only thing I could see was Ony’s face, calm and collected, like he wasn’t driving me to the brink.

Finally, he pulled his hand back, wiping the blood off his fingers onto my face.

“There. Now you look the part,” he said, straightening up and walking back to his chair. He sat down, his AR-15 resting on his lap like a king on his throne.

The door burst open, and Hange strolled in, a large duffel bag slung over their shoulder. They took one look at the scene and sighed. “The hell did I walk into this time?”

Connie, still perched on the edge of the counter, shrugged. “Bad mission.”

Hange narrowed their eyes, setting the bag down and pulling out supplies. “Yeah? Looks more like bad decisions.”

They knelt in front of me, pulling out a pair of scissors and cutting through the fabric around the wound. I hissed as the cold air hit the exposed skin, but Hange was already in work mode, muttering to themselves as they cleaned the area.

“You idiots better keep this under wraps,” they said, glancing up briefly. “You know Levi’s a crash-out. He finds out about this, and he’s lighting the block upland then some, no questions asked.”

Connie chuckled, taking another drag from his joint. “Levi lives for that shit. Ain’t no way we’re letting him in on this.”

Hange sighed, focusing back on my leg. “Good. Now sit still, Jaeger. This is gonna suck.”

Jean, who had been sitting silently on the other side of the room, finally spoke up. “Yo, Connie, play that track you were on about the other day.”

Connie grinned, pulling out his phone and connecting it to the Bluetooth speaker. Within moments, the heavy, dark beat of Black Rain by Kman 6ixx filled the room, the bass vibrating through the walls.

The music set the tone, dark and brooding, fitting for the blood-stained floor and the tension still lingering in the air.

As Hange worked, I leaned back, letting the music drown out the pain and the anger bubbling under the surface. Ony sat across from me, his gaze never leaving mine, his gun still in his lap.

The heavy bass of Black Rain pulsed through the room, and despite the searing pain in my thigh, I found myself nodding to the beat. It was gritty, raw—exactly the kind of energy that matched the night.

“Yo, Connie,” I said, tilting my head toward him, “who’s this?”

Connie grinned, tapping ash from his joint into a tray. “Some TriniBad artist,” he said. “Kman 6ixx. Got that underground heat.”

Ony, still lounging in his chair with his AR-15 resting across his lap, chuckled darkly. “Man’s got some heat, alright. But he ain’t just some artist.” His tone carried weight, like he knew something the rest of us didn’t.

I pulled out my phone, opened Shazam, and tagged the track. The app gave me the info, and I quickly added it to my Spotify playlist. This was the kind of music that hit when you were deep in it, when the life you lived wasn’t just survival but a statement.

Hange wiped the blood off their gloves as they packed up their tools, the sharp smell of antiseptic lingering in the air. They stood, stretching their back before turning to Ony, their face tight with irritation.

“So,” Hange said, hands on their hips, “is there a reason you shot him, or are we just playing ‘spin the bullet’ for fun now?”

Ony didn’t even blink. He leaned forward slightly, his eyes locked on mine. “Oops,” he said simply, his voice cold and detached.

Hange sighed, muttering something under their breath. “Oops, my ass. Y’all need therapy.”

Connie laughed, passing the blunt to Jean, who had been leaning against the wall, watching everything unfold. “Therapy don’t pay the bills,” Connie said, his tone light, but his eyes carried that knowing look. “Besides, who’s got time for a therapist when you’re dodging bullets?”

Jean smirked but stayed quiet, taking a slow drag and blowing the smoke toward the ceiling.

As Hange packed up their supplies, I stared at Ony, the weight of his earlier actions still sitting heavy in the room. He had made his point clear without saying much. This wasn’t just about me stepping out of line. It was about power, control, and the constant reminder that in this world, loyalty was everything—and mistakes were paid for in blood.

“We good now?” I asked, my voice low, but there was no mistaking the edge in my tone.

Ony leaned back, his gun still in his lap, and gave a small, almost imperceptible nod. “For now.”

That was Ony for you—always leaving things open-ended. Always keeping you guessing.

I leaned back, feeling the throbbing ache in my thigh as the room buzzed with tension. Ony’s calm demeanor pissed me off more than the pain. I had to know why he kept trying to keep me away from Y/N, like he had some moral high ground.

“So, Ony,” I said, my voice low, laced with sarcasm, “is there a real reason you don’t want me around your cousin? Or is this just about you flexing?”

Ony didn’t even look up from his gun, calmly checking the chamber. “Rest my case, please,” he said smoothly, like that was supposed to explain everything.

Jean, who had been nursing his blunt in the corner, snorted. “What the fuck kinda English is that?”

Without missing a beat, Ony and I answered in unison, “It’s Trini slang.”

Jean threw his hands up, shaking his head. “Man, y’all always talking in riddles. Can’t keep up.”

Ony finally looked up, his eyes narrowing slightly. “I’m a second-gen immigrant. Picked it up from my parents. You wouldn’t get it.”

The conversation shifted, but my mind was elsewhere. My thoughts circled back to Y/N, her quiet voice, the way she always avoided eye contact when she was nervous. Ony might think he’s protecting her, but he didn’t see what I did. She didn’t need saving—from me, at least.

I pulled out my phone, ignoring the dull ache in my leg as I opened our chat.

“You good?” I typed, staring at the screen for a second before hitting send.

The message went through, and I waited. The seconds dragged on as I watched the little "read" notification pop up. She’d seen it. But no reply.

My jaw clenched, and I felt that familiar surge of frustration. She left me on read.

I stared at our text thread for a long moment, my mind racing. She wasn’t going to ignore me forever. I’d make sure of that.

Ony might think he could warn me off, but he didn’t understand. Y/N was mine. She didn’t know it yet, but she would. I’d make her see.

The longer I stared at my phone, the tighter my grip got, my knuckles turning white. The thought of Y/N sitting in her room, probably thinking about Ony’s bullshit warnings, made my blood boil. She was letting him get in her head.

I shoved the phone back in my pocket and ran a hand through my hair, trying to push down the rising possessiveness threatening to spill over. But it wasn’t going anywhere. I could feel it crawling under my skin, coiling in my chest like a snake ready to strike.

Ony thought he was protecting her, but all he was doing was pissing me off. Y/N needed someone who understood her, someone who saw past her shy, introverted walls. That was me. Not Ony. Not anyone else.

I glanced at Ony, who was now cleaning his gun like nothing had happened, and a dark smirk crept onto my face. “You think ignoring me is gonna work?” I muttered under my breath. “You don’t know me, Y/N.”

Jean’s voice cut through my thoughts. “Yo, Eren, you good? You look like you’re about to murder someone.”

I snapped out of it and gave him a half-smirk. “Nah, just thinking.”

Jean raised an eyebrow but didn’t press. Connie passed him the blunt, and the room filled with smoke and the low thrum of bass from the speakers. But my mind was far from here.

I pulled out my phone again, this time scrolling through my contacts until I landed on Y/N’s number. My thumb hovered over the call button. I knew she wouldn’t pick up, not after leaving me on read. But that didn’t matter.

I hit the button anyway, letting it ring once before hanging up. I wasn’t trying to get her to answer. I just wanted her to know I was thinking about her, that I wasn’t going anywhere.

Because if she thought she could ghost me, she had another thing coming. Y/N was mine, and I wasn’t about to let Ony or anyone else get in the way of that.

I leaned back, letting the music wash over me as I plotted my next move. Y/N could run, she could hide behind Ony’s warnings, but she’d learn soon enough—when it came to me, there was no escaping.

Three days. Three long, agonizing days since Y/N left me on read. My patience was wearing thin, and I was itching to see her. But instead of dragging her out of her house like I wanted, I was stuck in this freezing warehouse, listening to Levi drone on about territory and some gang we were clashing with.

His voice was sharp, cutting through the cold air as he paced back and forth. “They’ve been moving product on our block. That’s a problem. We need to send a message.”

I wasn’t paying attention, though. My mind kept circling back to Y/N. What was she doing? Was she thinking about me? Probably sitting in her room, replaying Ony’s words. That thought made my chest tighten. Ony didn’t get to control her life—or mine.

I shifted my weight, leaning against a rusted metal beam, trying to focus, but it wasn’t working. All I could think about was pulling her into my arms, making her look me in the eyes, and telling her exactly how this was going to go.

Before I could sink any deeper into my thoughts, a sharp blow landed on my calf, and my leg buckled. “Fuck!” I hissed, hitting the cold concrete floor.

Levi stood over me, his usual deadpan expression tinged with irritation. “Daydreaming again, Jaeger? You think this is a fucking joke?”

I glared up at him, my teeth clenched. Big mistake. His boot connected with my jaw in a flash, and my head snapped to the side. Pain exploded in my skull, and for a moment, everything blurred. I saw stars, bright and mocking.

Levi crouched down next to me, his voice calm but laced with menace. “You’re lucky you’re good at your shit, Jaeger. Otherwise, I’d put a bullet in your head and piss on your grave.”

I spit out a bit of blood, my jaw throbbing. My pride was wounded, but I didn’t dare say a word. Levi didn’t need much of a reason to end someone, and I wasn’t stupid enough to push him further.

He stood and turned back to the group, continuing like nothing had happened. “Now, as I was saying, we need to send a message. Eren, you’re with Jean and Reiner on this one. No screw-ups.”

I nodded, wiping the blood from my mouth as I slowly got back to my feet. My jaw ached, and my head was spinning, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was Y/N.

Levi could beat the hell out of me for all I cared, but he couldn’t stop me from getting what I wanted. And what I wanted was her.

As soon as this mission was over, I was going to make sure Y/N understood that she couldn’t ignore me. Not anymore.

I reluctantly dragged myself off the cold concrete floor, wincing at the dull ache in my jaw. The last thing I wanted to do right now was focus on Levi’s bullshit, but the mission wasn’t going to sort itself out. So, I swallowed my pride and strolled over to Jean and Reiner, the two of them already chatting about the job ahead. “Let’s go sort shit out,” I muttered, my voice low.

Reiner couldn’t resist, his stupid laugh echoing in the warehouse as he looked at me. “Yo, Levi really rocked your shit, huh?” He grinned, clearly amused. I wanted to smack the taste out of his mouth, but he was part of the crew. For now.

Jean shot me a quick glance, his face serious. “You good, man? You look like you’ve been through hell.”

“I’m fine,” I said through gritted teeth, forcing the pain back. My mind was still on Y/N. I couldn’t afford to focus on the bruising in my mouth when I had a more important mission in mind.

I made my way to my Hellcat, the rumble of the engine filling the air as I popped the trunk. I stared at the freshly customized Bushmaster I had just acquired, my fingers tracing over the cold metal. The gun wasn’t just a tool—it was a statement.

As I carefully examined the engraving on the barrel, my eyes locked onto the words carved into the side. Y/N. I had her name etched there, just so I could see it every time I held it. Every time I committed, every time I did my job. I wanted her with me, even when she didn’t understand why.

I closed the trunk with a satisfying thud and slid into the driver’s seat. Reiner and Jean piled into the Jeep Wrangler behind me, their faces already set in that grim expression we all wore when we were heading into a mission.

I gripped the steering wheel, my thoughts still tangled with Y/N. I knew she was playing hard to get, probably listening to Ony and the rest of the people who didn’t know the first thing about us. But she didn’t know how far I was willing to go for her. And tonight, after this job, I’d remind her.

“Let’s go handle this,” I muttered, revving the engine.

Reiner leaned forward from the backseat. “You good to drive?”

I barely spared him a glance, my focus sharp now. “I’m fine. Just keep your head in the game.”

The city lights flashed by as I accelerated down the street, the adrenaline of the mission kicking in, but that nagging thought of Y/N never left. I had to remind her that she was mine—and no one, not even Ony, could tell me otherwise.

The streets blurred past me as I gripped the steering wheel, my mind focused on the mission, but it was hard to ignore the rage simmering beneath the surface. The feeling of blood pumping through my veins, the adrenaline coursing through me as I prepared for another round of chaos. Levi’s orders echoed in my ears, but honestly, I didn’t need much pushing. I loved these moments—this was where I thrived. This is where I could be the unhinged, cold-blooded monster I needed to be to survive in this world.

We were headed into enemy territory now, a rival gang that had the audacity to step onto turf we controlled. Their mistake. Their stupid, reckless mistake. They took what wasn’t theirs. Now we’re going to remind them why they should’ve stayed in their own fucking lane.

As we arrived, the weight of the situation hit me. The area had the usual gritty feel of a war zone. Graffiti-covered walls, abandoned buildings, and cars stripped down to their frames scattered the streets. But this time, there was something different in the air—something thick with tension. We were deep in their turf now.

I pulled up near an alley, the engine of the Hellcat purring as I shifted the car into park. “Alright, we move fast,” I said, my voice low but commanding.

Jean and Reiner both nodded, already reaching for their weapons. But me? I wasn’t grabbing just any weapon. I reached into the compartment under the seat, pulling out my twin Berettas. I called them The Butchers, because that’s what they did—they sliced through whatever stood in front of them. I’m about to put these fuckers to work.

Jean raised an eyebrow at me. “You really gotta name them?”

I didn’t answer him. I just cocked the guns with a satisfying click. “Let’s make sure they know who runs this fucking city.”

We moved in silence, slipping through the shadows like predators hunting their prey. We were on their turf now, and I could already feel the heat rising in me. This is where I was at my best—dark, savage, unhinged. This is when I could show out, remind them all what happens when you cross the wrong people.

“You ready for this?” Reiner asked, his voice tense, but his eyes betraying the calm confidence of someone who had been in this situation countless times before.

I turned to him, my eyes cold and calculating, “You better believe it.”

We crept up to their hideout, a run-down building that had clearly been repurposed into their base of operations. I could hear voices coming from inside—low murmurs of gang members who thought they were untouchable. They didn’t even know we were here yet.

I signaled to Jean and Reiner. “On my count. We go in.”

I kicked open the door with a violent force, the wood splintering under my boot. The Butchers were already in my hands, the weight of them perfect in my palms.

“Hey! What the fuck—” The words were barely out of the guy’s mouth when I slammed the first Beretta into his chest, dropping him instantly with a spray of blood. The second one followed in quick succession, hitting another guy who tried to pull his piece on me. He didn’t even get a chance to fire.

“No talking, no mercy,” I muttered to myself, my blood pumping harder, the heat in me rising to a fever pitch.

Jean and Reiner were behind me, both handling their own targets, but I was lost in the moment. I loved this feeling—the chaos, the violence, the rush of power that came with knowing I controlled everything in this space. These men, these weaklings, they didn’t matter. They were just bodies in my way, obstacles to be removed.

“Fuckin’ pussies.” The words slipped from my lips like a growl as I moved deeper into the building, clearing rooms with brutal efficiency.

I rounded a corner, slamming into a guy who tried to tackle me, but I was too fast. I twisted his arm behind his back and shoved my knee into his spine, hearing a satisfying crack as I slammed his face into the concrete floor. “You think you own this block? You don’t own shit.”

Reiner came up behind me, clearing out the last of the goons, while Jean kicked open the final door. “Eren, we’re done here. The place is clear.”

But I wasn’t done. Not yet.

I stormed into the room, seeing the head honcho of this little operation trying to scramble for his gun. “You’re gonna regret this,” he spat, but his fear was evident. He knew exactly what was coming.

I grabbed him by the throat, lifting him off the ground with ease. “You’re the one who’s gonna regret this.” I slammed his back into the wall, pinning him there. The Butchers were still in my hands, and this guy’s fate was sealed.

Jean called out, “Eren, don’t waste time. Let’s get out of here.”

But I couldn’t resist. I pressed the barrel of my Beretta into the guy’s forehead, a sick smile pulling at the corners of my lips. “You wanted to take our turf, huh? Here’s your message.”

I squeezed the trigger. His body went limp, a final breath escaping his lips as his blood splattered across the walls.

“Done.” I turned to Jean and Reiner, the rush still surging through me.

Reiner gave me a smirk. “You’re fucking crazy, man.”

I chuckled darkly, wiping the blood from my face with the back of my hand. “Maybe. But that’s why they respect me.”

As another body hit the floor, I didn’t feel the usual rush of satisfaction. Not yet. There was one more thing to take care of. I was done with the shooting for now, but I needed answers—needed to send a message to anyone else who might think they could just step on our turf without consequences.

I walked over to the head honcho, who was still gasping for air, trying to lift his hands in defense but failing miserably. He was weak. Pathetic. A useless leader. A foolish man who had the audacity to think he could challenge us.

I grabbed him by the collar, dragging him across the floor and tossing him into a chair. His head snapped back against the wood with a sickening thud, but I didn’t care. I pulled a set of zip ties from my pocket, expertly securing his wrists to the arms of the chair, making sure he couldn’t move, couldn’t run. His fear was palpable as he stared at me, eyes wide, probably wondering if I was about to end him right here.

“What’s your name?” I asked, my voice low and dangerous.

He swallowed hard, looking at me like I was a monster. “You think you’re gonna get away with this?”

I leaned in close, my breath hot against his ear as I whispered, “I think you’re the one who’s about to answer some questions.”

His eyes flickered to the Beretta in my hand, and I couldn’t help but smirk. It was just a reminder of who was in control. The guy’s breath was shaky now, sweat trickling down his forehead. He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off with a sharp command. “Name. Now.”

His mouth tightened, and for a moment, I thought he might not speak at all. But after a few tense seconds, he relented. “Leon. My name’s Leon.”

“Good,” I muttered. Then, I straightened up, taking a step back and giving him some space to think—though I wasn’t about to make this easy on him. “Now, Leon, I have a few questions for you. You listen, and you answer. Real simple. First one—who’s running your shit now?”

He swallowed again, his throat visibly tightening. “I—We’re not with the Vipers anymore. We’re under new leadership. Darius... He’s the one you should be talking to.”

I grinned, a dark, twisted smile stretching across my face. “Darius, huh? That’s funny, because I thought your guys were the Vipers.”

He hesitated, but I could see the fear in his eyes now, knowing he was digging a deeper hole for himself with every word he spoke. “We were. But not anymore. Darius—he made some moves, took out the old crew, and now he runs the whole east side.”

I laughed softly, the sound cold and menacing. “Darius, huh? So this is how it’s going down now, huh? You think you’re gonna come onto my block, run it like it’s some new kingdom, huh? Darius doesn’t control shit. This is still my city, Leon. My fucking city.”

His gaze darted around the room, like he was trying to find a way out—some way to escape the reality that he was caught in a trap. But there was no escape. Not for him. Not for any of them.

“Darius thinks he can just come in here and take over, huh?” I said, mostly to myself, as I paced in front of him, my fingers trailing over the grip of the Beretta.

I knelt down in front of him, leaning in close again, so close I could feel the heat from his breath on my skin. “I’m gonna give you a choice, Leon,” I said softly, my voice dripping with menace. “You’re gonna tell me everything about Darius’s operation. Where he’s hiding, who’s with him, all of it. Or I’ll make sure you never get a chance to run that mouth of yours again.”

He shook his head, trying to plead. “I don’t know! I swear, I—”

I cut him off, pressing the barrel of the Beretta to his kneecap. He yelped in pain, his body tensing in terror. “You don’t know? You better know, because if you don’t, I’ll start with the fingers. Let’s see if you remember where you put all that information then.”

He blanched, his eyes going wide as he realized the kind of hell he was about to endure. “Alright! Alright! I’ll tell you everything! Just don’t—don’t hurt me, please.”

I smiled again, pulling the gun away from his knee and setting it down on the table in front of him, giving him just enough space to breathe. But not enough to get comfortable. “Good. That’s what I like to hear.”

“Darius... He’s got a stash house just outside the city, up by the old docks. He’s been dealing with some... some big names. He’s working with other gangs and shit man. It’s not just the Eastside anymore. He’s got muscle from all over.”

I nodded slowly, taking in everything he said. This was exactly what I needed. Darius had moved in fast, taking advantage of the gap in the market left by the Vipers. But he wasn’t going to keep it for long. “You know, Leon,” I said, my voice cold as I leaned in close to his ear, “You just made a real smart decision. You gave me everything I need. But that doesn’t mean you’re gonna walk away from this clean.”

His eyes widened in fear again, but I didn’t give him a chance to speak. I stood up, pulling a knife from my belt and flipping it open. “You think we’re done here? Nah.”

The blade flashed, and in one swift motion, I slashed through the zip ties holding his wrists. “I don’t want you to forget who did this to you. And the next time someone from your crew comes sniffing around here, you tell them to keep their hands off my turf.”

I turned my back on him, walking toward the exit. I was done with him.

“And Leon?” I called over my shoulder, stopping in the doorway.

He looked up, terrified. “W-what?”

“Tell Darius I’m coming for him. And when I find him, I’m taking his head. Don’t make me look for him.”

As I was walking to leave the room, a flicker of movement caught my eye. Leon, desperate and panicked, was trying to crawl away, dragging his broken body toward the door. He thought he could escape—thought maybe I’d let him run off with his life. Big mistake.

I didn’t even hesitate. I pulled the Beretta from my waistband, aiming at his back. BANG! The shot rang out, the bullet piercing his spine, sending him crashing to the floor with a scream. Blood pooled beneath him, his body twitching from the shock of the impact.

I laughed. It was a dark, twisted laugh, one that felt almost alive inside me. I skipped over to him, my footsteps light and fast, like a predator closing in on its prey.

“Opps,” I mocked, bending down next to him. His face was contorted in pain, eyes wide, tears mixing with the blood on his face. I could see the fear in his eyes as he tried to drag himself forward, but his body refused to cooperate.

I leaned in close, my voice dropping to a sickening whisper. “That was for your ankle.”

Without another word, I aimed the Beretta at his ankle and pulled the trigger again.

BANG!

This time, the shot was so precise, the bullet shattered through the joint, and I watched with twisted satisfaction as his body jerked violently on the floor, unable to move much. The scream he let out was the final cry of a man who knew he wasn’t getting out of this alive.

He was done. There was no more begging, no more running. Just a broken body on the floor, his life fading away with every second.

I stood there for a moment, savoring the sound of his labored breathing, feeling the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

“Don’t forget who runs this,” I muttered, a dark grin spreading across my face as I turned and walked out, leaving him to bleed out in that empty room.

Jean and Reiner were looking at me crazy but who the fuck really cares. then Jean said "I see why Ony wants you away from his cousin.."

Jean’s words hit me like a slap, and the moment he said her name, my mind went dark. "I see why Ony wants you away from his cousin..."

That was all it took. Every ounce of control I’d been holding onto snapped. I wasn’t thinking anymore—I was reacting, my body moving before my brain could catch up. I was on him in an instant, fingers wrapping around his collar, yanking him toward me as my fist swung.

But Jean, quick as ever, dodged. Just barely.

He smirked, but I could see the flicker of caution in his eyes as he backed away, positioning himself defensively.

"Yo, chill, Eren," Reiner’s voice came from behind, but I wasn’t hearing him. My mind was only on one thing: her. Jean had spoken her name like it was nothing, like he could just throw it around without consequences. That shit was unforgivable.

“Don't fucking talk about her,” I growled through gritted teeth, my knuckles tight on Jean’s shirt, ready to drag him into the dirt if he even dared to finish his sentence.

Jean's smirk faltered as he raised his hands in mock surrender, though his eyes were still full of challenge. He wasn’t scared of me, not like some of the others. But that’s why I hated him—he had a way of getting under my skin, like he was always poking the beast, daring me to lash out.

"Relax, man," he said, trying to step back, but I wasn’t about to let him get away that easily. I wanted him to understand that there were lines you didn’t cross.

But before I could move again, Reiner stepped between us, pushing me back with his arm. "That's enough, Eren. Don't make us deal with your shit again."

I gritted my teeth, but he had a point. If I went any further, I’d make everything worse—not just for myself, but for the crew. And I hated when Jean was right, but in this moment, he was right. I needed to focus.

Still, the words were there, gnawing at the back of my mind—her name, and the thought of anyone disrespecting her, anyone mentioning her like that, made my blood boil.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Next time, don’t mention her name," I spat, voice low but dripping with menace. "Or I’ll make sure you don’t walk straight for a week."

Jean just rolled his eyes, but I could see the flicker of uncertainty in his face as he glanced at Reiner. He knew I wasn’t joking.

Reiner shook his head and muttered, "You’re too damn impulsive."

I didn’t care. Jean needed to learn. Everyone needed to learn. She was mine.

And I would kill anyone who thought they could touch what was mine.

I sat in my car parked across the street, the low rumble of the engine barely audible in the quiet night. The darkness cloaked me, but my eyes were locked on her house. Her house. The only place that felt like a beacon in this fucked-up world. I was supposed to be back at the warehouse, standing in front of Levi, giving him the rundown with Jean and Reiner. But screw that. I didn’t care about Levi’s glares or his threats.

This? This was more important.

The window was cracked just enough for me to hear their voices drifting out. Ony’s deep, pissed-off tone echoed into the night, laced with frustration and anger. He was arguing with her, and I knew exactly what it was about.

Me.

I leaned back in my seat, lighting a cigarette, the flame briefly illuminating my face before darkness swallowed me again. I smirked as I took a long drag. Fucking idiot. He thought he could keep me away. Thought he could scare her into staying clear of me.

He didn’t know her like I did. Doesn’t know how much she needed someone like me.

The argument grew louder, Ony’s voice sharp and commanding. “I’m serious, Y/N! Stay away from him. He’s dangerous. He’ll ruin you.”

I chuckled under my breath, blowing out a cloud of smoke. Dangerous? Yeah, maybe. But ruin her? Not a chance. I’d protect her from everyone else, even if I had to be the monster in the shadows to do it. She didn’t need protection from me; she needed protection from them. From people who didn’t understand her. People like Ony.

Her voice rose next, defiant and fierce, cutting through the night air. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do! You think you’re any better? You’ve been in that life longer than him!”

I felt a strange mix of pride and amusement bubble up. That’s my girl. Standing her ground even against someone like Ony. She wasn’t as fragile as everyone thought. She had fire, and that fire burned for me, even if she didn’t fully realize it yet.

Ony’s reply was muffled, but his frustration was clear. The argument continued, and I couldn’t help but relish the chaos. He was losing control, and he knew it.

I ashed the cigarette out on the side of the car, flicking the butt onto the pavement. My patience was wearing thin. Hearing her defend me, knowing she was willing to fight for me—it made my blood hum.

I glanced at my phone, her name glowing on the screen in my messages. Still on read. My jaw clenched. She was trying to make me sweat, but two could play that game. If she thought ignoring me would keep me away, she was wrong.

I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, debating whether to text her again or just walk up to her door. Make Ony regret ever thinking he could keep me at arm’s length.

But for now, I waited. Watched. Because soon enough, she’d come to me. They always did.

Ony’s footsteps were heavy, his expression stormy as he slammed the front door behind him. He spotted my car immediately, his eyes narrowing like a predator locking onto its prey. His hand went to his waistband, and I caught the glint of steel under the streetlight as he stormed across the street.

I rolled my eyes but kept my cool, letting my hand rest lazily on the wheel. I knew what was coming. Sure enough, Ony stalked right up to the driver’s side, his gun already cocked, and pointed it directly at my head.

I didn’t flinch.

Rolling down the window, I came face-to-face with the barrel, a calm smirk tugging at my lips. "The fuck you doing outside my crib, E?" Ony growled, his voice low and dangerous. His finger twitched on the trigger, but I could see the restraint in his eyes. He wasn’t ready to pull it—not yet.

I leaned back slightly, resting my arm on the open window, completely unfazed. “Relax, big guy,” I drawled, my tone smooth, almost mocking. “Just enjoying the night air. Didn’t know I needed an invite to park on a public street.”

Ony’s jaw tightened, his grip on the gun firm. “Don’t play games with me. You’re here for her, aren’t you? You don’t know when to quit.”

I chuckled softly, my eyes never leaving his. “Quit? Nah. I don’t do that. Especially not when it comes to Y/N.”

His expression darkened further, and I could feel the tension rolling off him in waves. “You’re a sick bastard, Eren,” he spat. “You’re gonna drag her down with you, and you don’t even care.”

I shrugged, still grinning. “Maybe. But you and I both know she doesn’t want out. She’s got a taste for this now, and you can’t scare her away. You’re just pissed you can’t control her anymore.”

That hit a nerve. Ony pressed the barrel harder against my forehead, his eyes blazing with fury. “You don’t get it, do you? I’ll put you in the ground before I let you ruin her life.”

I tilted my head slightly, my smirk never wavering. “Go ahead,” I taunted, my voice a low murmur. “Pull the trigger, Ony. Let’s see how that plays out. But we both know you won’t. ‘Cause if you do, you’ll lose her for good. And you can’t handle that, can you?”

For a moment, the world seemed to stand still. His finger hovered over the trigger, his breathing heavy. But then, slowly, he pulled the gun back, his hands trembling slightly. He was furious, but he wasn’t stupid.

“You’re a dead man walking, Eren,” Ony muttered, shoving the gun back into his waistband. “Stay the hell away from my cousin.”

I leaned forward slightly, my smirk widening. “Can’t promise that, Ony,” I said quietly, my tone dripping with defiance. “She’s already mine.”

Ony stared at me for a long moment, his fists clenched at his sides. Then, without another word, he turned and stormed off down the street, leaving me sitting there, my heart pounding with adrenaline.

I watched Ony storm off toward the house, his shoulders tense, his fists clenched. I let out a low chuckle, thinking the storm had passed. But then he stopped, just a few steps from his front door, and turned back around. His face was a mask of rage, and before I could even register what was happening—

BANG.

The sharp crack of the gun echoed through the quiet street, followed almost immediately by another. BANG.

I didn’t flinch, but my heart raced for a split second, instinctively bracing for the searing burn of a bullet. Except it didn’t come. Instead, the sound of glass shattering and metal crunching reached my ears.

I glanced to my side and saw the spiderweb cracks spreading across my passenger-side window. The second shot had ripped right through the rear quarter panel. Ony had shot my car.

“Crazy bastard,” I muttered under my breath, half-impressed, half-pissed.

The neighborhood stayed eerily silent; no one dared peek through their curtains. Everyone knew better than to get involved. That’s the kind of respect Ony commanded around here. But me? I wasn’t scared. This was a game we’d been playing for a while now, and I wasn’t about to back down.

I leaned out the window slightly, my voice carrying across the empty street. “Nice aim, Ony! You miss me already?”

He stood there for a second longer, his gun still raised as if he was contemplating whether to send a third bullet my way. Finally, he lowered it, shaking his head before disappearing into the house without another word.

I exhaled slowly, a smirk creeping back onto my face. “Cute,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair. My car was a mess, but I didn’t care. This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

Pulling my phone out again, I shot Y/N another text. Me: You’re not answering me, baby. I don’t like being ignored.Then, after a pause, I added: Me: See you soon.

I tossed the phone onto the passenger seat, my eyes flicking back to the house. Ony thought this was a warning. But all he did was fuel the fire.

I watched him go, then glanced back at the house. My smirk faded slightly as I pulled my phone out, my thumb hovering over Y/N’s contact. She hadn’t responded yet, but that didn’t matter. I’d see her soon enough.

I watched Ony who was glaring at me with a smile and it pissed me off he shot up my fucking green hellcat…he smirked then started walking back to his house again…. Fucking psycho.

My fingers itched, the weight of my Glock sitting snug in my lap. I let him get a few more steps ahead, then— BANG.

The shot rang out, slicing through the quiet night. Ony stumbled forward, his hand clutching at his arm as blood began to seep through his shirt.

“Ah, shit!” he growled, spinning around to face me, murder in his eyes.

I leaned out the window, my laugh echoing down the block like it was the punchline to some sick joke. “Missed your heart,” I called out, my grin wide and unrepentant. “Next time, maybe?”

Before Ony could say a word, the front door slammed open, and Y/N came storming out, her eyes blazing with fury. She was still in her house slippers, her arms crossed over her chest, but the fire in her eyes made me sit up a little straighter.

“Eren!” she snapped, her voice cutting through the night. “What the hell is wrong with you?! You’re insane!”

I shrugged, still grinning. “Only for you, baby.”

“Don’t call me that,” she shot back, her glare sharp enough to cut glass. She turned to Ony, who was still clutching his arm. “And you,” she pointed, her voice softer but still filled with irritation, “get in the house before you bleed out on the porch.”

Ony shook his head, his jaw clenched as he locked eyes with me one more time. “This ain’t over,” he growled, backing toward the door.

“It never is,” I called after him, watching as he disappeared inside.

Y/N was still standing on the porch, arms crossed, staring daggers at me. “Go home, Eren,” she said firmly. “You’re not helping anything.”

I chuckled, resting my arm on the window. “You really think I’m just gonna walk away after that?”

Her glare didn’t waver. “If you have even a shred of decency left, you will.”

I leaned back in my seat, giving her a long, slow once-over. “You know I can’t stay away from you,” I said, my voice low. “Not now, not ever.”

She rolled her eyes, spinning on her heel. “You’re impossible,” she muttered, slamming the door behind her.

I smirked, starting the car. “Yeah, but you love it.”

Your POV. 

I slammed the door shut behind us, locking it as Ony staggered toward the couch. His hand was still pressed against his arm, blood seeping through his fingers. My heart was pounding so loud it felt like it might burst out of my chest.

“I can’t believe you and Eren were shooting at each other!” I snapped, grabbing a towel from the kitchen and tossing it to him. “Isn’t that against some gang code or something? Like I’d even know.”

Ony grimaced as he pressed the towel to his arm. “Ain’t about codes right now,” he muttered. “Just text Hange and give them the house address.”

I hesitated for a second. “Hange? Who’s Hange?”

“Just do it, Y/N,” he said through gritted teeth. “They’re the crew’s medic.”

I grabbed his phone off the coffee table, my fingers fumbling slightly as I unlocked it and scrolled through his contacts. Hange’s name popped up immediately. I typed out a quick text, adding the house address before hitting send.

“They’ll be here in a few,” I said, dropping the phone onto the table.

Ony leaned back, his face twisted in pain. “That idiot,” he muttered. “Eren doesn’t think. He acts.”

I folded my arms, pacing back and forth. “You’re not exactly the poster boy for rational behavior either. You both could’ve killed each other out there!”

Ony shot me a look, his expression dark. “And you think he wouldn’t kill for you? That man’s already got one foot in hell, Y/N. Don’t let him drag you in with him.”

I stopped pacing, my stomach churning. “I didn’t ask for this, Ony. You’re both acting like I’m some prize to be fought over.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “It’s not about that. Eren… he’s dangerous. You think you’ve seen the worst of him, but you haven’t. Not even close.”

I swallowed hard, my mind flashing back to Eren’s wild grin, the gleam in his eyes when he shot at Ony. “He wouldn’t hurt me,” I said quietly, more to convince myself than anything.

Ony gave a bitter laugh. “He wouldn’t mean to, but that’s the thing about men like him. The chaos follows, and sooner or later, it’ll swallow you whole.”

Before I could respond, there was a sharp knock at the door. I rushed to open it, and there stood Hange, a medical bag slung over their shoulder, their eyes scanning the room with a mix of amusement and exasperation.

“Well,” Hange said, stepping inside, “looks like someone’s been busy tonight.”

[arachine]

*slides a big fat twenty your way* uh how about a part two of that non traditional family dynamics with gojo

dinner and a disaster . . .

synopsis :: when your oldest daughter is at that age where boys are starting to become the focal point of her universe, you bring out the big guns — which in this case, unfortunately happens to be her father (who is not exactly the best when it comes to disciplining his little girls).

or, in other words, you and gojo play good cop bad cop.

genre :: fluff

contents :: co-parent!gojo, mentions of alcohol, heavy dialogue, time skip (the girls are 14 and 12 respectively), gojo is in distress !!!!

note :: link to part 1 + link to part 3

it's 10 pm when you text gojo about the latest happenings going on in your household.

it's also 10:01 pm when you answer his incoming face time call.

he's wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket, laying down on his bed with a pillow under his chin and a hand propped up to support his head—he's comfortable, to say the least, and 100% tuned in to hear about whatever it is that you just texted him.

"is this what you've been doing all day?" you query with a laugh. there's a brief look of confusion etched onto his face before he picks up on what you were implying. rolling his eyes, he scoffs.

"it was my day off," he pouts, "can't a man relax in his fuzzy blanket?"

you squint teasingly at the screen, then nod slowly before mouthing an 'uh-huh'.

"i didn't call you to get berated about my choice of blanket!"

"okay, okay! i'm sorry," you grab a napkin from your nightstand, waving it like a white flag of surrender. "such a baby..."

"says the one who could never take...you know what, i won't finish that."

"smart man," you smile. "i want to be mad at you sometimes but it's almost kinda impressive how easily you can change the atmosphere...i mean, wow! it's record-breaking, truly."

"ha...ha. alright. i overstepped my bounds, i get it. can we just...can we just get back to our daughter? i'm starting to regret calling you on my day off—which, by the way, was going so great."

"great, love that we're on the same page," you give him a thumbs up through the screen. before you can get into the nitty-gritty of the situation, you take a brief pause to prepare yourself for the dramatics about to ensue—because if you know anything about gojo satoru, you know he's definitely one for the dramatics.

"when i tell you this...i want you to stay calm, keep a level head, and most importantly, i want you not to scream," you say, opening your mouth again to emphasize the last part, "and it's important that you especially won't scream, okay?"

gojo mulls it over before committing, "i don't know...it depends on what you're gonna tell m-"

"just—just promise, gojo," you interrupt, clearly agitated.

"alright, i promise."

"okay, so there's a boy..."

you're mid-sentence when gojo's eye starts to twitch.

"and she's expressed to me that she wants to go on a date with him." when you finish, you're half expecting him to yell, and half expecting him to end the call. but he doesn't.

in fact, he's so still, you're almost convinced he's frozen, but then he begins to smile. slow at first, and then all at once. it's creepy, you think, something straight out of a horror film.

"i know this was a lot of information to process, are you...okay?"

"pfttt, what? of course, why wouldn't i be?"

"well, you look scary. maybe i shouldn't have told yo-"

"SHE WANTS TO WHAT?"

and there it is. gojo satoru, king of dramatics.

"my little girl, my baby, my princess. she's only 10!-"

"she's 14."

"same thing, how could you let this happen?!"

"what happened to not yelling?! you promised!"

"oh be serious, i made a vow to you 14 years ago and look where we are now," he whisper-yells, trying (and failing) to contain his voice.

"dammit, you're right...well, at least we're on the same page! we both don't want this date to happen." when you take another glance at the screen, gojo's no longer laying down on his bed, but up and pacing around his room like a mad man.

you watch him for awhile, and when he doesn't seem to be coming back any time you soon, you call his name, "satoru."

"what?!" he turns to the phone. glaring at him, you wait for him to check his tone. "sorry, what?"

"i was thinking tomorrow you could come over for dinner? it'd give us a chance to talk to her about it...so that it's not just me telling her no."

"so, what i'm hearing is that you want her to hate me too?"

"no, i'm saying i want us to be a team. so, can you come over tomorrow? can you do that?" you ask, raising a brow.

"yeah, i'll be there."

at the same time the oven alarm goes off, gojo arrives. you can see his car pull into the drive way from where you are in the kitchen, and you mentally curse yourself for not getting ready sooner.

"fuck, uh okay," you throw your oven mitts, "hon, can you get the door for your dad? i need to go upstairs and get changed."

the youngest gets up from her place on the couch, "sure, wait...dad's staying for dinner? what's the occasion?"

you're halfway up the stairs before you stop, "enough questions, please. just open the door, thank youuuu."

ambling from the living room to the foyer, she opens the front door. gojo smiles, and immediately lifts her up into a bone-crushing hug that only a dad could give.

"hey bug, missed you," he squeezes her, much to her behest.

"ugh, dadddd, put me down," she drawls, pawing at his chest. gojo frowns and puts her down, putting a hand over his heart as if he were shot.

"you used to love that, you know."

"yeah, when i was like five."

"are you not?" he teases, but she's not amused. he nudges her arm annoyingly until she begins to smile. "there we go, punk. now can i have a real hug? you're hurting my feelings."

like a true pre-teen, she rolls her eyes and reluctantly trudges over to him, then opens her arms up for a hug. at this stage, you've noticed that hugs are okay, but only when it's on their own terms—and you especially can't initiate them when their friends are around (you learned that the hard way).

when they pull away, gojo takes his shoes off and wanders through the house. "where's the other brat at?"

"upstairs."

gojo nods, "uh-huh...where's your mom at?"

"right here." gojo hears you before he sees you, and then he lifts his head up to see you at the top of the stairs standing behind the banister. before you make your way downstairs, you waltz over to your daughter's room and knock on the door.

"hey, dinner's ready. come on downstairs. somebody's here to see you." as you begin turning around, the door flies open and out comes your moody teenage daughter.

"who is it?" she queries, following behind you like a duckling.

from where he stands at the bottom of the staircase, gojo raises a hand and waves.

"hey, scrub."

"dad? what are you doing here?" your oldest questions, but still goes in for a hug.

"your mom invited me over for dinner, that cool with you?"

she nods, then turns to her sister. they exchange a knowing look that, if translated, would be: something's definitely up. they wait for you and gojo to head to the kitchen before having a quick debrief.

"you definitely did something," the youngest side eyes.

"wha-why would you think i did something? you're the one failing a class," she rebuttals.

"ok well...this isn't about me! they only get together when one of us does something. don't you see? they're teaming up...this is an intervention."

the oldest pinches the space between her brows, "i can see why you're failing english now, because the way you just jumped to conclusions like that is actually insane."

dinner goes by without a hitch. for majority of it, you spend the time talking about work, school (which seems like a sensitive subject because the youngest wouldn't look either of you in the eye), and the plot of this hbo show with adult kids who're trying to take over their father's company.

gojo brings it up, of course, and jokingly says that the show was written with him in mind. he asks the girls if they'll fight over who'll inherit the company when he dies, and it turns into a i'm the better daughter debate.

when it gets a little too rowdy, you have to remind them that this is all hypothetical and that their father is a menace who likes to cause chaos whenever possible. gojo pouts and says you're no fun, but quickly fixes his face when he sees your pointed glare.

"come help me with the dishes," you say, and then disappear into the kitchen.

the two of you fall back into old habits. you wash the dishes, he dries and sets them on the rack. it feels like it did in the beginning, only this time, he'll be leaving when the two of you set out to do what you originally intended.

"dinner was nice," he says after about 10 minutes of comfortable silence. he doesn't look up, doesn't even make a joke about your cooking (which, you were totally expecting him to do). instead, he just continues drying the plate you handed to him.

"you know, you're welcomed to come again. you don't always have to be away in that apartment all by yourself," you start, choosing your words carefully, gently. "the girls like eating with their dad."

"i like eating with them too. i guess i'll start coming by more often then."

you almost miss it but there's a smile on his face, and it's genuine. instead of pointing it out, you savor the moment.

your reasoning for his coming here was to talk to your daughter, but it was also to get him out of the apartment. see, you were sneaky like him too, and what he didn't know wouldn't kill him. to you, this was just hitting two birds with one stone.

when you finish up, the two of you discuss the plan over for what seems like the 100th time.

"so, we're gonna go in there and be cool about it, okay? we won't hound her. we're just gonna tell her like it is, and then let her down gently. got it?"

"got it."

"after you," gojo extends his arm.

"wha-ugh, fine."

as you lead the way, gojo has to keep a hand on your back to keep you from turning back around. so far, you've attempted to retreat five times—you're two feet away from the kitchen entrance.

"will you just go?" there's irritation laced in his tone.

"okay, just stop pushing me."

"no promises, keep walking."

you sigh, but heed his request. with a hand still on your back, he guides you all the way to the living room. the girls are watching tv but quickly avert their focus when they notice you standing next to the couch with a freakish smile plastered on your face. gojo whispers in your ear to be cool and you immediately gather your wits.

"mom...your face...dad what's wrong with her face she's scaring me," the youngest pauses the tv.

"sweetie, will you go upstairs for a minute? your dad and i have to talk to your sister."

seeming to be catching on, she gets up from the couch and says a 'told you' to her sister before running upstairs. you and gojo share a look.

"what's up?" she asks, still weirded out.

"you see, well...we've been talking and..." you start, "your father has something he wants to tell you!"

gojo snaps his head towards you, gasping in the same motion. "hey, what the hell happened to being cool?"

"no promises, remember?"

"oh, you litt-"

"dad."

"sorry, uh, shit. i wasn't prepared for this. this wasn't the plan," he begins, "so, i heard there's a boy...and...you're at that age where boys are cute..."

she looks at the two of you in abhor and groans. gojo pauses briefly, but you encourage him to continue.

"and i've come to understand that you're interested in one and want to go on a date?"

"yeah."

"oh...okay well, i—we just don't think that's a good idea. you're 14, in school, and honey, you're so young...you have your whole life to be interested in boys."

"wait, what do you mean 'we'?"

"your mom and i talked about it and-"

"mom said she was fine with it."

gojo smiles in shock and then blinks, once, twice, three times.

"we'll be back," he announces, pulling you by the arm to the kitchen.

when you get to the kitchen, he releases your arm and pinches the skin between his brows. it takes all of about five seconds before he erupts.

"'we're a team, satoru', 'we're in this together', bullshit! you wanted me to be the bad cop, didn't you?"

"not initial-"

"didn't you!"

"okay, sorry! i may have...gave in when she asked, but i figured you'd be able to tell her no!"

"why would you think that!? she's my little girl!"

"she's my little girl too!"

gojo walks over to the cabinet and pulls out a glass. "i can't right now, i need a drink. what do you have?"

opening another cabinet, you pull out a bottle of pink whitney. gojo sucks his teeth. it was such a girl drink, but it was all you had so beggars couldn't be choosers. shrugging, he raises his glass for you to pour the drink into.

grabbing another glass, you sit down and join him.

"we've been had, huh?"

"how is that?"

"because we both can't say no to her."

gojo raises his glass to his lips and swallows it all down in a few gulps.

your daughter goes on a date the following week, and gojo starts looking into trackers.

© arachine 2023

[stevesbipanic]

Steve's only 25 when it all catches up to him.

It starts off small, things people wouldn't even be able to tell is an early sign of something wrong. Misplacing keys, forgetting which day he has his shifts, what time he's supposed to get Robin. Robin notices though.

Robin knows Steve always keeps his keys on the hook next to Eddie's by the front door, that's where he always finds them, he's not misplacing the keys, he's forgetting the hook exists.

Robin knows Steve has the same shifts every week, they never change because they line up with Eddie's at the record store nearby. Robin knows Steve isn't forgetting what time he's supposed to pick Robin up, he's forgetting Robin moved away a few months ago after she graduated college.

Robin keeps noticing when the kids start calling her because the little things are becoming big things.

Robin notices when Dustin calls and tells her Steve thought he and Suzie were back together, "Like how crazy is that we broke up two years ago, I don't think I've even mentioned her lately."

Robin notices when Lucas calls and tells her Steve asked when his next game was, "The season ended months ago, he came to the finals."

Robin notices when Max calls and whispers softly, "He asked to take me to the skatepark, Robin, I told him I had to help mum. He's forgotten I'm blind Robin."

Robin wished she'd noticed sooner, maybe years ago when Steve was getting knocked around a lot. She wished she'd screamed in the face of those Russians to take her instead. She wished a lot of things when Eddie called her.

"He's in hospital, Birdie, he collapsed at work."

Robin is back in Chicago for the first time since she graduated. She wished she'd visited sooner.

"Do you think the feds are gonna let me go soon, Robbie? I mean it usually doesn't take this long for them to bring me the NDAs."

Robin hopes Steve doesn't notice her eyes going glossy as she runs her fingers through his hair, "Don't worry Stevie, I'm sure they'll be in soon, Dusty is probs just arguing over something in his."

"At least he isn't having to explain he raised a demodog. Did I ever tell you about that Robbie?"

Robin smiles softly, "Yeah but tell me again, don't want to forget any of it."

Eddie gives Robin the gist of what the doctors said, Eddie didn't understand much, a lot of technical words and shit. Too many concussions, more than they knew about most likely. They say it'll probably get worse with no timeframe of how quickly it'll happen, there might be good days, there will be a lot of bad days.

The first bad day comes a week later. Steve barely remembers Eddie, trapped in a time when Eddie was just the kids DM. Eddie sobs in the corridor in Robin's arms. The next day it's like nothing happened and Steve gets discharged. They tell Steve, this time Eddie is the one to comfort him.

"I don't want to forget you Eds."

"It's okay if you do, sweetheart, I'll still be here."

It's Robins idea to start writing everything down. Eddie, Nancy and the kids all help. Filling journals upon journals of stories and pictures of Steve's life to help on the bad days. Steve has to quit his job, Robin moves back to Chicago, they make it work.

On bad days depending on how far back Steve is Dustin or Robin or Eddie will read through the books with him, filling in the gaps of what he needs. On the worst days, Eddie leaves the pile of journals on the bed with a note and waits downstairs to see if Steve will join him later.

They make it work for a few years. Steve celebrates his 30th birthday with perfect clarity. He writes himself an entry in the journal next to a big group picture with Steve and Eddie's matching rings showing.

That July, over a decade since Starcourt, Steve is in hospital again. He'd collapsed at breakfast. Eddie had thought it was going to be one of their good days, Steve had woken up fine, all his memories in tact if a little fuzzy. He'd made them coffee and giggled at Eddie's singing while he made them eggs and just like that it all came crashing down.

Steve's brain is shutting down. They don't know if he'll make it past Christmas. There's more bad days after that. More days with books left on the bed. Most days Steve doesn't even come downstairs. On the good days, Eddie always calls off work. He'd rather be fired than miss a single second of Steve smiling at him like he does, so full of love.

They have Christmas, the whole family comes, they have to bring every chair from around the house and squish in around the table just to fit but it's perfect. Steve sits between Robin and Eddie, face bright and full of love and life. Everyone gives him the tightest hug as the night closes, all lingering, afraid of letting go.

"I love you, dingus."

"I love you too, Robbie."

Later, upstairs in their room, Steve and Eddie go through all the journals, laughing softly at each little note the kids have left. Steve writes his little journal entry, a tradition of good days, and curls into Eddie's arm whispering soft loving words to each other before falling asleep.

Steve never wakes up.

The funeral happens shortly after, all of the family is still in town. Robin holds Eddie afterwards as they go through the journals together. When they get to the last page, they struggle not to smudge the ink with their tears.

Dear Eds and Robbie,

I don't know how many more good days I'm going to get so I'm leaving this here for you now. I love you both so much, you're equally my soulmates and I want you two to look after each other while I'm gone.

Robs, go travelling with Nancy, ok? Thank you for looking after me all these years but it's time for you to go look after yourself. Go see the world for me, tell me all about it wherever I am when you get back.

Eddie, I'm sorry we didn't get as much time as we hoped, I hope you know that even just a day with you has been worth a lifetime with anyone else. Go follow your dreams, write music, perform, show the world how amazing I know you are. I give you full permission to fall in love with whoever you meet along the way, I don't want either of you guys to be alone.

Thank you for giving me a life worth remembering.

Your Dingus,

Stevie