#i say yes oxford comma

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

(also maybe put what generation you are in the tags?)

[awritingotaku]

Perviously unreleased panel of Tim and Jason’s fight fr fr.

Headcanon that instead of signing his threats Red Hood uses semicolons liberally (and correctly) because nobody up to their eyeballs in crime in his part of Gotham uses semicolons. ‘Don’t even try to run; I know all of your hideouts’ is a Certified Red Hood Threat. ‘I’m always watching; every minute every second’ is someone impersonating Red Hood.

[tododeku-or-bust]

I think we've all had enough of homie lmao

And what's funny is I'll probably get this reported or removed real quick, but this guy is continually allowed to make new accounts on this site and harass Palestinians, Black people, queer people, trans people, if it's a type of person with any decency he has probably showed up to harass you (and if he hasn't, if he agrees with you, you may wanna check your beliefs). Like bruh. I swear we're on account 15 with this dude.

[whatthefishh]

Sativa

Rydal Keener x f!reader

Part of the Oxford Comma series

Warnings: drug use (weed), studying excessively, oral (f receiving), mentions of p in v sex, baby cow eyes.

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: this took me way longer than I intended to write, it’s been a really difficult time in my mind for me and to those who are waiting for requests / chapters of other fics ily for being patient with me ❤️ huge thanks to my lovely mutuals who helped me, especially @xbellaxcarolinax for reading it over several times 🌹 love you

The room was slowly filling with the distinct smell of marijuana, little puffs of air spilling from Rydal’s lips as he took yet another drag of his joint before he tried to proposition you again.

“Wanna take a break now? It’s not like you can absorb the information by just staring at the textbook. Doesn’t work that way.”

You only sigh in response.

“A little smoke might make all those theories seem a little less… theoretical, yknow?” He laughs at the end of his quip like he finds himself extremely amusing.

“Oh, you think me finally giving in to your bad influence will help me pass this exam? You really think that’s the best way to study right now? Really?”

“Not a bad influence, princess, just wanna help you relax,” Rydal says while pushing your hair over your shoulder from where he was lying on his side next to you.

Smacking his hand away, you huff in annoyance. This wasn’t the first time he’s offered it to you, and it was never pressuring. He offered because he offered everything to you, and this was just another one of those things. You didn’t mind the smell. It was just irritating when you were trying to study and were very clearly stressed.

Rydal had learned these concepts from childhood, the topics of discussion in class were the same ones he’d have with his family at dinner, with his father over drinks at the early age of 14 back when he was obsessed with being just like him. The books on the syllabus were his summer readings as a child, the younger version of him desperate to impress with big words and bigger ideas, learning the hows and why’s of socialism when all his peers were riding their bicycles around the neighborhood. He didn’t have to focus as much as you did at this moment. And right now? Your brain was at its limit, barely digesting the words on the pages in front of you.

You lowered the textbook into your lap, turning to look down at him. His head was on the pillow next to you, eyes boring into yours calmly.

You felt your resolve slipping.

“None of this makes sense anymore.”

“What doesn’t?” He asked quietly, changing his teasing tone to match your somber one.

“It’s like, it’s like I’m reading the same thing over and over but I know—“

“You already know everything, you’re overthinking—“

“No, that’s what you think, but the last time I talked to your dad and he full-on tested me—“

“—wasn’t testing you, it came up organically so that doesn’t count—“

“Yes! Yes, he was! Who casually asks someone what their opinion on direct versus indirect democracies is over lunch? Like, what the fuck was I supposed to say?” Your voice is bordering on shrill, the memory of Lawrence’s unimpressed gaze and your face heating up in embarrassment as you struggled for words flashing through your mind.

“I’m sure he’d love hearing your rehearsed opinion next time. For now, though, I’d love to hear your opinion on something else.”

“Does it have to do with our actual reading material or does it have something to do with getting lost in a cloud of smoke with you?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“I just wanna make you feel better, baby, is that so wrong?” Rydal is looking up at you, unwavering, moving to finger the edge of the sweater you had on before dipping his hand underneath to rest on your back.

Looking at him with those eyes, the intense deep stare he held; his pink lips and their slight upturn, gentle and playful all at once —you made up your mind.

Propping your hand to take the joint from him, he doesn’t give it but instead, he sits up to guide it to your lips himself, his other hand clutching your waist. Rydal rests the tip of it against your lips, his eyes watching the way you wrap them around it delicately and you swear you could see his pupils dilate and hear his breathing slow down.

“Take it nice and slow, deep breath,” he murmurs, eyes locked on your mouth as you inhale, “hold it, that’s it. Good girl. Now slowly exhale.”

You did as you were told, feeling the smoke fill up your lungs and burn slightly as you held it, and then exhaled straight into Rydal’s face.

“Oh god, sorry I didn’t realize how close—“

Before you could finish speaking, he took a deep drag of the joint and hungrily pressed his lips against yours, inadvertently blowing the smoke into your mouth while doing so. You could feel his warm breath mixing with yours, your hearts beating in unison as his lips worked yours. The almost sweet and earthy taste of the weed seeps into your lungs as his tongue claims your mouth. Everything was overwhelming and thrilling and arousing and beautiful and he felt so good right then that you wanted to claw your way into his lap and stay there, burrow into his chest until you were warm and safe.

Rydal would keep you safe, with him. He would.

Pulling apart for air, you don’t remember who moved first but he was tossing your textbook on the floor while you were peeling your sweater off, the room becoming instantly warmer, the need to be closer to him making you antsy. Needy.

The effects of the smoke kicked in sometime between kissing Rydal stupid and him taking off your bottoms, his eyes stripping you faster than his hands could. You were clutching his shoulders, desperate to keep him close especially once the weight settled over you and your limbs felt heavier.

He had to stay close, you couldn’t let him leave you at this moment. Your arousal mixed with the slight paranoia that came with the high resulted in a very strong desire to stay as close as you could to Rydal, needing him more than you could put into words. You hoped he understood from how tight you were holding him, from how much you were whining when he dragged a finger down your soaked panties.

You flopped back against his pillows and despite being naked, you didn’t feel cold, your eyes and nipples pointed to the ceiling as he kissed his way down your tummy. He already laved your breasts with his mouth, the traces of saliva he left behind from wrapping his mouth around your peaks now making them pebble in the evening air. Rydal’s hands were everywhere, his tongue dipping out every few seconds to taste your skin. The effects of the high made you hypersensitive to the maelstrom of sensations, his touches feeling ten times more powerful and intimate than usual.

You didn’t realize it, but you were making all the pretty and perfect noises for him, breathy moans louder than usual while he explored your soft skin, harshly panting and voice wavering on little moans. You were driving him up the wall, his hips softly grinding into his blanket for some relief while he mouthed over the top of your underwear.

Rydal’s mouth wrapped around your clothed clit, letting his drool soak the material until he could suck it and hear your shocked squeal of pleasure. You buried your hands in his soft hair, strands slipping through like gossamer.

He lifted his mouth an inch just to hook a finger around the gusset and plant an open mouth kiss on the very core of you. He was sweet like that.

Apparently, your panties were too much of an obstruction for him as they were ripped from your legs a moment later so that he could spread you open with his fingers. Licking a stripe up your dripping cunt, Rydal dived in, eyes closed, his nose gently nudging your clit while he tongued at your opening. He continued to tongue fuck you, slowly moving in and out of your little hole leaving you gasping and moaning lowly, tugging on his hair. He continued this little routine; licking up your peeled-back core, tonguing inside your cunt, and then to rile you up that much more, he would let his teeth graze your clit.

Rydal’s fingers were stuck gripping your thighs, leaving indents from how tight he had to hold you down just so you’d stop squirming. You were so restless from him edging you, almost cumming several times but he’d pull back, blowing cool air on your core just to take you all the way again. Occasionally, he would moan into you, swirling his tongue around your clit just to suckle on it sweetly as if it were honey he was drinking on. You were whining pathetically as you buck your hips up into his mouth, the synthetic dose of dopamine only serving to heighten your pleasure. Your limbs felt heavy, you could’ve been 10 feet underground, plunged deep within the earth itself, body like lead, and the only thing you could focus on was the way Rydal’s mouth lapped at you, slurping obscenely as he made you choke on a moan.

This time around, he didn’t let up, his tongue working double time as he stared up at you, his hands pushing your thighs further apart to give him the space to fuck you with his tongue with purpose. He was intent on making you cum, fucking finally. You tried to ask, tried to form the words to beg him – maybe you did, maybe you were begging him more than you usually did, maybe that’s why he was finally giving in to you, you really couldn’t remember what you were saying – but it seemed he wasn’t stopping. Reaching up with one hand to entwine his fingers with yours and resting it on your tummy, he groaned, almost as if giving you the permission you were waiting for to let go, that it was okay, that he’d take care of you, catch you when you inevitably fall.

And fall you did. Hard.

Eyes shutting, head thrown back, floating and sinking simultaneously, his mattress was soaked not only with your release but with sweat, your body feeling seven different emotions at once as you finally came into his eagerly awaiting mouth. Rydal was there just as he promised, made you feel good – brilliant, intoxicated, euphoric – true to his word.

The comedown was… interesting.

Rydal was still holding your hand, thumb rubbing the back of your palm while he nuzzled your thigh, resting his head and blinking up at you while you caught your breath. He was a sight to behold, his gorgeous hair mussed from your restless hands, lips shiny and swollen from use and his eyes, so fucking deep and loving and still hungry.

The giggling started, hazy thoughts from the high making it hard to stop, taking the weight off your chest as it continued. Thinking about how you were aggressively pushing his hands away from you just moments before letting you wreck his comforter had you covering your face, releasing another peal of laughter. Rydal’s lazy half-smile while watching you only made it worse, knowing he thought you were a lightweight and would definitely tease you about it later. Kissing his way back up your body, pressing his mouth lovingly on your soft parts, he met you at his pillow, smiling down at you prettily. You sigh after the last little laugh leaves your chest, eyes sparkling up at him and suddenly feeling bashful.

“Never heard you beg so nicely before,” he says, smiling, kissing the corner of your mouth before snickering at your embarrassed groan. “‘Pleasepleaseplease, oh GOD–’”

“Ssshhhhhhutthefuckup oh my god, I did not sound like that,” you shoved your hands on his face, hastily trying to cover his mouth from speaking and imitating you again. Your cheeks burned. You didn’t sound like that, right?

“Mmmph, yeah actually, you’re right. It was much worse,” he managed, despite your fingers slipping into (his?) mouth. After gently removing them, he held them down against the bed before leaning forward to hover right above your lips, “it’s okay, baby, I liked it. Can you do it again for me?”

And then he held your gaze, like a fucking siren, knowing exactly the effect he had on you and your now achingly empty pussy, the muscles clenching around nothing as he let his breath mingle with yours. Rydal didn’t kiss you, just stared at you with his eyelids low waiting for you to beg him.

“Are you gonna let me take care of you? Gonna ask me nicely?” He was so close but kept himself away until the only thing you could focus on was syncing up the movement of your lungs. His denial only made you want him more, desperation bleeding out from you.

“Mhmm,” you whimpered.

“Yeah? That the best you can do?”

“P-please.”

“There it is,” he mumbled, gripping his length in one hand, lining himself up to slowly push himself in, the fat tip of him stealing your breath.

Rydal never got enough of the way your sweet pussy gripped him, and made sure to pull as many soft pleas out of you as he could for the rest of the night.

[romanarose]

Fic Recs

I'll admit I've been slacking. A lot. It was a high anxiety summer as you know, and I've finally been able to pretty much cut ties with an abusive friend who was causing a LOT of those anxiety and panic attacks. BUT I want to rec some of my fav writers and fav stories.

To keep the presure low on myself I am only linking ONE story per writer, whatever story that speaks to me. I do hope if you like the story you'll check out more from them!

Please remember to reblog their stories if you read them, and if you feel inclinded, leave a kind comment! Big comments are fantastic but even a short "Great story!" Means the world!

Dead Dove Do Not Eat and all dark fics will be in red. Might make a whole other dddne tag list on my dark blog on of these days lmfao

Moon Knight

Fractured Moon by @melodygatesauthor : DDDNE Yandere Moon boys x reader, non con, extreme violence but such good interpretations of the boys

Friendly Favors by @runa-falls best friend steven, friends with benefits??? friends to lovers??? yes plzzz

Rydal Keener

Oxford Comma by @whatthefishh : Collage AU, Rydall is cunty, serves cunt, and eats cunt. What can I say.

TLOU (Most of what I'm reading rn if im being honest)

Linger On by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin : Pre-outbreak!Joel, angst, yummy smut, ft. my boyfriend, Tommy (Angela said I can be Tommy's gf)

Caught by @toxicanonymity : Inspired Keep Cry'n, Joel catches you when you try to run, masterbates onto your face. part 2 has TOMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Maintainence Man series by @gracieispunk : Joel is a, well, Maintenace man in our building! He is married but that doesn't stop him from fucking you

Hungry Hearts @atinylittlepain : If ya'll know me, you know I love Bruce Springsteen. I have 2 fics named after springsteen songs, one joel one javi/santi/reader. I've fallen behind on the series but loved it enough to make fan art! terrible fan art but still! Pre-outbreak, takes place in two timelines- college age and then the 2000'. Joel has Sarah, reader is ellies mom which I think is fun.

Exit Wounds by @strang3lov3 : No fic masterlist so I tagged the main masterlist. Now listen. I love Tommy Y'all know I love tommy... but cheating on tommy? Im so sorry baby. But ur also an asshole lol. Had it coming.

Creep by @theywhowriteandknowthings : I- ugh just read it. darkish but nothing insane like the wrong way lmfao. pretty mild comparatively but use discression but THAT TWISTTTTTTTT

Only Daddy That'll Walk the Line by @millerscoffee Yellow istead of red bc its not like. dark but Joel's pretty mean

Not A Survialist Girl by @tightjeansjavi again yellow bc joel's a dick lol but THE DIRTY TALK?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Miguel O'Hara

Halo by @missdictatorme : Miguel O'Hara goes full Nathan Bateman and fucks his ai. Whore.

Only You Only Me by @astroboots : so im behind on this one too. What about it! Im terrible I know but like Hungry Hearts above I may be a slow reader but I didn't forget and also did stupid fan art of this great fic too. lol. Anyway plz read this, I cant give a great summary bc im only a few chapters in but if youre in the oscar fandon you know cici writes only bangers

No One But Me by @koshkamartell : You try to break things off with Joel and begin spending time with the hot librrian in Jackson. Joel does not like thi

Triple Frontier

Under Neon Lights by @campingwiththecharmings : sexy drunk sex with my baby boi, santi <3

Through the Scope by @ssuperficialspacecadett : Reader works for Benny and falls for frankie. Great relationships with all the boys, reader has sexual trauma so you knoooooooow i eat these fics up!!!! lovely to see all them be appriciated with special focus on FRANKIE my precious lol guy

Shared Breathes by @frenchiereading : DAD FRANKIE x teacher reader. Triple frontier may have forgotten Frankie has a baby (he deserved the money for her) BUT WE DID NOT!!!!!

The Story of Us by @pimosworld : You served in the military with the boys but they made a deal not to sleep with you. Years later after helping you escape abuse, one by one they begin to waver aka you fuck them all. FishBen as a bonus!!

Goddamn have I really only been reading TLOU XD lmfao makes sense bc thats mostly what Im writing. That and the Javier pena x reader x santi and then the will fic but im soooooooooo much of a TLOU whore rn its insane.

Im sure ill remeber some more amazing TF fics soon but for now here we are!

Gonna plug real quick my latest one shot tho bc it's a holiday and I can self promo if I want! Shana Tova, moon boys x non jewish!reader where the moon boys share a part of their jewish identity with you!

THANK YOU TO ALL WRITERS FOR YOUR HARD WORK, I APPRICIATE YOU!

If you ever seen my like and not reblog know its just bc I forgot and im sorry. If you ever tagged me in a tag game and i never responded its bc I forgot and again IM SORRY

If I didnt tag anyone and you think i didt think your fic was worthy THATS NOT IT im simply overwhelmed with how much ive read and how this summer was and i just havnt organized it all. Im sorry!!

[harry-trumans-dishwasher]

Sure!

I figured it might be like how Palm Trees and Orchids are technically Grasses, even though they aren't ⭐True Grasses⭐ (poaceae)...

But I guess Palm Trees are only considered "Almost Kinda Grass" because they're Monocots -- like all these plants here you can find in the Monocot aisle of your local supermarket:

But what's a Monocot? Here's what Wikipedia says:

Now I don't know nothing about no Bot'ny, but as a psychology major, I *am* qualified to count to 3. I'll do some extensive research by Googling "Flower Pokemon" and giving up when I get bored:

Venusaur was the only flowering pokemon I could find who fit the bill? So I guess whoever was coming up the with the English names for pokemon types only looked at the first dozen-or-so pokemon, saw Venusaur, and declared,

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5... yup! Grass it is!"

can we talk about how stupid “grass” type is. no offense but why couldn’t it just be “plant.” why specifically poaceae

[duckprintspress]

Round Table Discussion: Grammar Pet Peeves

Today, March 4th, is National Grammar Day! Last year, we celebrated with six of our favorite grammar quirks. This year, we’re going to the other end of the spectrum: we had a conversation with our editors and blog contributors about grammar things we hate. They may be technically correct, but that doesn’t mean they don’t make us crazy. Eighteen people, many anonymous, contributed to this discussion.

Dangling Modifiers

boneturtle: Dangling modifiers, hands down. Even when I can decipher what the writer meant based on context, it viscerally hurts me every time. When I am editing I have to stand up and take a lap around my apartment when I hit a dangling modifier. Remind myself that I am here to help. Learn more about dangling modifiers.

Commas

anonymous: Commas are not difficult! Commas end phrases. Full stop. That’s all they do. Is a phrase necessary to the grammatical coherence of the sentence? if the answer is yes, no commas because that phrase hasn’t ended. If the answer is no, commas! comma hug that bish if it’s the middle of a sentence. The difference between grammatical and informational is whether or not the sentence makes sense without the phrase. 

Examples: 

The man who ordered the six double anchovy pizzas claims to have a dolphin in his pool. 

You need “who ordered the six double anchovy pizzas” because you need to identify which man you’re talking about. The world is full of many men. 

The ancient Buick, which Madeleine purchased via Craigslist, belched black smoke whenever she pressed the accelerator. 

We don’t need to know how Madeleine purchased the car for the sentence to make sense. You don’t even meed “Madeleine” for the grammar to make sense. Therefore, hug that phrase! 

(a comma on each side of the phrase) or give it a dramatic send off with a comma and an end punctuation. (i could go into conjunctions, too, but those are a little more complex, and if you were taught them properly, i understand not getting the comma use 😂 ) 

Prepositions at the End of Sentences

Tris Lawrence: There was a dictionary (Merriam-Webster? Oxford? idek) that posted recently on social media about how the rule about not ending a sentence with a preposition came from English scholars trying to make English line up with Latin, and that it’s totally okay to do it… and I’m just wanting to point to it to yell THIS because uhhh trying to rework sentences to not end in a preposition often creates clunky awkward things (my opinion, I recognize this).

D. V. Morse: Ending sentences/clauses with a preposition. Well, not doing that is supposed to be the rule, but depending on the sentence, it can be a convoluted mess to try and avoid it. Winston Churchill famously told someone off after they “caught” him breaking that rule, saying, “This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put.” (Yes, I had to look that up.)

Pronoun Confusion

anonymous: I hate playing the pronoun game when reading. I hate it in life when someone comes up to me and tells me a story involving 2 people of the same pronouns and stops using names halfway through, and I hate it while reading too. Nothing makes me fall out of scene more if I don’t know who just did/said what. Use names. That’s why we have them.

Nina Waters: epithets. If I know the characters name…why? Also, when people use “you” in third person writing. There are times I’ll allow it as an editor/times when I do think it’s at least acceptable but not gonna lie, I absolutely hate it.

anonymous: My pet peeve … I read hundreds of essays in a given month for work, plus a whole lot of fanfic for fun. A rising issue that I have noticed in both places is incomplete sentences (lacking subjects, typically). I think it’s because people rely on Google’s grammar checker to tell them if something is wrong and…Google doesn’t check for that apparently. I’m increasingly convinced that my high schoolers simply weren’t taught sentence structure, because when I ask them to fix it they almost universally say some variant of “I don’t understand what you’re asking me to do.” Therefore, it might be punching down a little to complain about it. I’m not sure. It does drive me nuts though. Lol

“Would Of”

Neo Scarlett: Not quite sure if that falls under grammar, but I hate hate hate when people use “should of” instead of should’ve. Or “would of.” It just makes my toe nails curl up because it may sound right, but it looks wrong and is wrong.

Semi-Colons

Shea Sullivan: I saw a list punctuated by semicolons recently and that made me froth at the mouth a bit.

anonymous: I think any editor who’s worked with me knows that I have a pet peeve about using colons or semi-colons in dialogue. Or really, any punctuation mark that I don’t think people can actually pronounce. Semicolons can live anywhere that I don’t have to imagine a character actually pronouncing them.

English isn’t Dumb!

theirprofoundbond: As a former linguistics student, it bugs me a lot when people say that English is a dumb or stupid language because it has borrowed from so many languages. What people mean when they say this is, “English can be really difficult (even for native speakers).” But I wish people would say that, instead of “it’s dumb/stupid.” Languages are living things. Like other living things, they adapt and evolve. English is basically a beautiful, delightful platypus. Let it be a platypus.

Dei Walker: I remember seeing somewhere that English has four types of rules (I’m trying to find the citation today) and everyone conflates them. And I guess my pet peeve is that everyone treats them equally when they’re NOT. There are rules but not all of them are the same – there’s a difference between “adjectives precede nouns” (big truck, not *truck big) and “don’t split infinitives” (which is arbitrary).

And, because we couldn’t resist, here are some of our favorite things, because when we asked for pet peeves…some people still shared things they loved instead of things they hated.

Oxford Comma

Terra P. Waters: I really really love the Oxford comma.

boneturtle: me: [in kindergarten, using oxford comma]

teacher: no, we don’t add a comma between the last two objects in a list.

me: that’s illogical and incorrect.

anonymous: I will forever appreciate my second grade teacher’s explanation of Oxford comma use: Some sentences are harder to understand if you don’t use it, but no sentence will ever be harder to understand because you do use it. Preach, Mrs. D

anonymous: I am definitely Team Oxford Comma. I even have a bumper sticker which says so

Other Favorites

Shea Sullivan: I adore the emdash, to every editor’s chagrin.

Shadaras: zeugmas! I think they’re super cool!

Shea Sullivan and Hermit: I use sentence fragments a lot. Fragments my beloved.

English Grammar vs. Grammar in Other Languages

anonymous: so in English my favourite thing is the parallel Latin and Saxon registers because of how that affects grammar, but in Japanese my favourite grammatical thing is the use of an actual sound at the end of the sentence to denote a question, as opposed to how in English we use intonation? Also how in Japanese the sentence structure requires reasoning first and action second in terms of clauses. So rather than go “let’s go to the cinema because it’s raining and I’m cold,” you’d go “because it’s raining and I’m cold, let’s go to the cinema.” (My least favourite thing is the lack of spaces between words in the written form but that’s purely because I find that level of continuous letters intimidating to translate.)

I also love how Japanglish in the foreign communities in Japan starts to develop its own grammatical structure as a way of situating yourself in this space between the two languages. It’s used as a call-sign of belonging to that specific community, because in order to make some of the jokes and consciously break the rules of English or Japanese grammar and/or choose to obey one or the other, you’re basically displaying your control over both/knowledge of them. Like, the foreign community in Japan is often a disparate group of people with multiple different native languages who are relying on their knowledge of at least one non-native language but often two to signify their status in the group as Also An Outsider and I think that’s really interesting.

Nina Waters: Chinese and Japanese both drop subjects, and Chinese doesn’t have like… a/the… Japanese doesn’t have a future tense… Chinese kinda sorta doesn’t have tenses at all… (these are not pet peeves, btw, I love how learning a language with such different ways of approaching these things reshapes my brain). Chinese also doesn’t really have yes or no.

There’s a joke somewhere on Tumblr about that, though I actually think it’s about using “a” versus “the,” like, someone was giving a Russian speaker a hard time after they said “get in car” and they were like “only you English speakers are dumb enough to feel this is essential why would I be talking about getting into any random car of course I mean our car wtf.”

anonymous: on the subject of other languages, epithets are also something that happen differently in other languages. In French repeating a word (names included, and sometimes even pronouns) is considered bad writing. As in, way more than in English. Going by how grating the English translation of the Witcher books was to me when the French one was fine, I’d say it’s the same with Polish, at least. It’s also very interesting how brains adapt to writing styles in other languages.

What are some of your favorite and least favorite grammar quirks, in English or in the language of your choice?

[thearcherprentiss]

Criminal Minds as things my friends have said pt. 3

Emily: "Look, the webcam makes me look so much worse than I really do! It makes me look ugly!"

Morgan: "I don’t see a difference."

Emily: "HEY!"

Morgan: "They should make pencils in other colors. They would make a lot of money off of those."

JJ: "They already do?"

Morgan: "Wait what?"

JJ: "You didn’t have colored pencils as a kid?"

Morgan, with attitude: “We were poor, Jennifer."

Hotch: "Jack and I are going to see family this weekend."

Emily: "It is so hard for me to grasp the idea that you have family that I've never seen. The same goes for Reid. I can't imagine him having a family."

Reid: "That's because I don't have one."

*stunned silence*

Reid: "You son of a snickerdoodle! You flat-footed son of a gummy bear! You meanie zucchini!"

Emily: "Reid's insults are supposed to be alternatives to cussing, but they're actually the serotonin that gets me through the day."

Reid: "This is boring."

Morgan: "You voluntarily wrote an essay about semicolons. You're not allowed to say anything is boring."

Reid: "There's actually a lot of controversy surrounding semicolons-"

Morgan: "Reid, the Oxford comma thing you were saying the other day wasn't real controversy, and this isn't real controversy either."

Reid, under his breath: "The oxford comma is a HUGE controversy."

Luke: “My type usually isn’t murderous women who stab people.”

Emily: “Good, mine is. More for me.”

Emily: “It’s toxic homosexuality.”

Morgan: “What’s that?”

Emily: “It’s like toxic masculinity, but yassified.”

Luke: “I hate English. Just looking at the word lettuce makes me mad. It should be pronounced letoosay!”

Reid: “Don't let the children of Mount Hellen steal your eyelashes for sacrificing to their ethereal snake gods.”

The team collectively: “The fuck?????”

Reid: “Just making sure you were paying attention.”

Rossi: “And that’s what you came up with? You need help Spencer.”

Morgan: “Do you like Reese’s cups?”

Emily: “Yes.”

Morgan: “Sucks to be you then, because I bought you some and you’re eating them!”

Emily: “I literally said yes?”

Morgan: “Oh… sorry. I wasn’t expecting you to say something normal like that.”

Emily: "That sweater goes good with your eyeballs."

JJ: "It scares me that that is your idea of a normal compliment."

Emily: “Please, you’ve never done anything even remotely illegal.”

Garcia: “Actually, I committed arson in my hometown. Twice.”

Emily: “You WHAT? …Is it bad that I like you even more now that you’re an arsonist?”

Rossi: “I like to wear gym clothes out in public to give people the impression that I work out. I don’t, but how would they know that?”

*Reid and Jack playing chess*

Jack: “The little one is moving back behind the horse, he’s scared!”

Reid: “It’s a chunk of wood, it doesn’t have feelings.”

Hotch: “Reid… why do I keep letting you be around him?”

Reid: “Honestly I don’t know either.”

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi! I feel like I over use commas or use them in places that don't need them, sometimes I just generally struggle to know where to place them. It looks both right AND wrong with a comma sometimes. I struggle with this especially when writing anything outside of dialog. I guess how do I know if I am using comma's correctly, or how do I use them correctly? I'm not entirely sure how to word my question lol. TYIA

Proper Use of Commas

Unnecessary commas can slip into the oddest places. Even seasoned writers can struggle with them sometimes. First, a couple of quick notes... Comma Rules Can Vary: There are some variations in comma use rules between British English and American English, and I'd imagine that's true in any language, so be sure to look up the rules specific to the dialect or language you're writing in. The Oxford Comma: When a comma is used to separate items in a list, in British English, the last two items are not separated by a comma unless it would be confusing otherwise. So... American English = I need to buy bread, milk, and butter.

British English = I need to buy bread, milk and butter.

But, let's say you're going to the store with cousins and your friends Sarah and Ted. In this case, not using the Oxford comma for the last two items would be confusing:

I'm going to the store with my cousins, Sarah and Ted.

That makes it sound like Sarah and Ted are the cousins, so using the Oxford comma would clear that up:

I'm going to the store with my cousins, Sarah, and Ted. When to Use Commas in American English

1 - To separate items in a list: I have been to Idaho, Maine, Texas, and Vermont.

2 - To separate a series of phrases: I need to buy a loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.

3 - To separate two independent clauses (complete statements): It's two-hundred years old, but it's a beautiful house.

4 - To separate an introductory clause from the rest of the sentence: By the time we got to the hotel, the rooms were already booked.

5 - After introductory interjections and conjunctive adverbs:

Yes, we arrived late. But, we couldn't have left earlier. Yet, we could have stopped fewer times. However, we enjoyed the stops.

6 - Before a question of confirmation: You set the alarm clock, didn't you? 7 - To separate coordinate adjectives: The dress was long, blue, and made of silk.

8 - To introduce quoted dialogue:

The speaker stepped up to the podium and said, "Welcome to our annual meeting."

9 - To separate places, dates, etc:

The train arrived in Washington, D.C., in the afternoon of January 10th, 1887.

10 - And finally... when NOT to use commas:

After the last item in a list: I bought bread, milk, and butter, at the store.

When there are only two items in a list: I bought bread, milk at the store.

Between two related actions: I laid in the snow, and made a snow angel.

I hope that helps!

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[daeranilen]

I'm inviting fights I don't want to have, but I absolutely have to say: if you are out here arguing for prescriptivist, rules-oriented English education in 2023, I need you to seriously contemplate the assumptions you're bringing to the table about the nature of English and the goals of education.

Look. I get it. In undergrad, I worked in my college's writing center, and I helped a lot of students with their grammar. When I applied to my grad program in composition & rhetoric, my personal essay was about how teaching sentence diagramming to my tutees empowered them to become better editors of their own writing, and how I felt that kind of "building blocks" grammar instruction was meaningful, necessary, and missing from a lot of people's education. But then I got to grad school and I learned that grammar instruction in general and sentence diagramming in specific has been discredited for OVER A CENTURY. There are MANY studies about this! We've known that the primary function of traditional grammar instruction is to make students hate the English language for, again, OVER A CENTURY. And then we kept doing it! It's literally the one instance of every bad faith critique you've ever heard about public school curricula being objectively correct.

You know why sentence diagramming worked with my tutees at the writing center? Because I was delivering one-on-one, personalized instruction. Most things work when that's your mode of teaching. But when I was teaching classes, even small ones, it quickly became clear to me that focused grammar instruction took time away from more important lessons, and that students overvalued it - that they cared more about whether their essays were correct than whether their essays were good.

And I don't blame them. I'd had those teachers who docked points for misplaced commas and run-on sentences. I knew some of my colleagues were still teaching like that at the time. I'm sure many are still teaching that way to this day.

But that doesn't make it right.

The tricky thing about English education is that there is no objectively correct set of rules to learn or teach (and you don't even have to be a descriptivist to know that this is true - just go refresh yourself on the Oxford comma debate), but there will always be people who believe there is, and who will judge you when you don't adhere to it. Some of them will be your teachers. Many more will hold other positions of power. All of them are collectively creating the rules you are being judged against.

Are those the people you want to align yourself with? Is the system they've built the one you want to uphold, even begrudgingly? Is temporary and conditional access to power worth it?

It's fine to answer yes.

Just make sure you understand what you're saying yes to.

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Weird questions — 12, 16, 32, 34, 38

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

I don't know what it says about my that I am so skeptical of Genies an Witches but I would ask for the following:

Wish One: For any WIPs and plot bunnies outstanding upon my death to be teleported instantly into the brain of the person who could make the most use of it. And for me to somehow get to read the completed stories.

Wish Two: To be able to write in Japanese because then I could translate all my sailor moon fics into the language they were first created in. (With my luck this would not come with the bonus of being able to read Japanese. I know how magic caveats work.

Wish Three: That every time I get an idea for a non-canon-breaking fanfic, a notification gets sent to every canon-controlling Publisher or TV Exec with a relevant query letter about the idea and my contact info.

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

Coffee sleeve. Or a feather. Possibly a sock.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

It's actually from a manga series. I read it when I was 10 and it's been burned into my brain ever since.

Thank god for Miss Dream having all these on the internet. Here: my eternal brain rot.

Background: 900 year old lonely little girl (don't think too hard about it) gets brainwashed by a world ending time-traveling enemy who promises her what she wants most: to be grown up and not need anybody. What saves her: Not her parents love (the anime fucked this up) not true loves kiss. Not her mom's super powerful god-tier magic powers. Nope... Grief. Grief breaks through the brainwashing. Grief awakens her own god-tier magic. Grief breaks the curse. Grief for her one single friend in the whole universe.

It's been 20 years and I'm still not normal about this.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

Ohboiohboiohboi.

So the Oxford comma - otherwise known as the serial comma, where you place a comma after every item in a list - is the correct and logical way to do list comma placement.

The newspaper comma - where you as a general rule leave the comma out of the the last spot in the list - is a contrived invention who's sole purpose is to save publishers a few cents per character, or to ensure that the body of the article can fit in the cramped little column alotted to it on page 4.

Oh but regional differences - no. hush. what region do you speak of? Is their major industry a news organization? That's what I thought.

But work's style guide says - Don't care. Work's style guide is based on it's press release office for convenience then. It is wrong. I will die on this hill.

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

What is really weird about my writing process: I make spreadsheets and powerpoint slide decks to organize my thoughts. Yes including formula based columns. They have gradient color coding based on how close to my self imposed deadline and how many estimated words i have left. The slide decks get fancy i'm a weird little nerd like this.

[mackmp3]

Oxford comma. Yes or no?

i always forget what oxford comma even does lol i had to google it - i'd say no you don't need it but i'm unlikely to notice if it's there

[avocado-writing]

HEY AVOOOOOOOOO guess ,, guess what time it is ,,,,,,,,, ITS ASK GAME TIME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oki this is gonna b a lot n rapid fire so get ready

10, 7, 31, 41, 44, 51, AND how do u feel abt the oxford comma ,,,,,,,,, and also maybe share a bit abt mr avo w the class ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, [u dont gotta, if u or he doesnt want that then ur good !!!!!!] - fruit fic anon ^_^

AAAAA ok

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

absolutely not. I am an open book. If there is something wrong you’ll know it. Which is good! It’s good to talk about your feelings!!

7. what was your life like last year?

up and down tbh. I did some things that were a lot of fun, and some shit happened in my personal and professional life that sucked. But it was better than 2021 lol.

31. 3 random facts

Im answering these before I go to work. It’s 6:10am

im currently watching/listening to dimension20’s The Seven

Im sending a parcel to my friend M today (yes I know you read everything I post and I love you)

41. relationship status

happily taken!

44. age you get mistaken for

Usually a lot younger. I get ID’d all the time for booze (not that I buy it much). I have a baby face unfortunately.

51. starsign

Aries ♈️ 🐏

the Oxford comma is my lawfully wedded wife

And I asked mr avo what he’s be comfortable with me sharing and he said, “say, in all caps: YOU DONT KNOW HIM HE DOESNT GO TO THIS SCHOOL HE’S A FRIEND OF MY COUSIN HE BELIEVES IN THE HEART OF THE CARDS” and then just started listing anime stuff. more broadly, we’ve been together for over 9 years, he’s one of my best mates and he makes me laugh a lot. I love him very very much. 🩷

MWAH thank you for asking! Hope you’re doing well, anon!

Ask game

[ambiguouspuzuma]

The Mimic

"I started out as a ghost writer," Loretta began. "Well, I was a baby, first of all - something smaller, even earlier, you might argue. A zygote? But, yes, professionally speaking, ghost writing was my first real job. That's what you're after, right?"

"Yes - by all means, let's speak professionally." Rosalba said coldly, her pen still poised and ready to begin, her notepad not yet troubled by its nib. "But that doesn't answer the question."

"Last night, I know, I know," her subject replied; clearly used to being paid by the word. "I'm just giving some background - a bit of flavour, you know? I'm sure in medias res is all the rage when it comes to writing an engaging article, but I'm a novelist in speech as much as type, and there's nothing wrong with a bit of chronology. I'd always want to start at the start, with the origin story, rather than saving it for a prequel that might never come. Now, if you wouldn't mind humouring me for just a minute-"

"Sorry," Rosalba interrupted, without a hint of apology on her lips, "but what exactly do you think this is?"

"You said you wanted an interview?"

"Yes, in connection with the death of Mr Angus McIntyre."

"Oh, yes, such a a tragedy, I adored The Death List." Realising the shift in tone, Loretta paused, confused as to her interviewer's aim. "So wait, was all of that not true? Why else would you be here?"

"I'm here to interview you with the police." Detective Rosalba Gutiérrez paused, already exhausted. "Are you saying you thought that would make a magazine want to profile you? About someone else's death?"

"Well, sorry if that comes across as narcissistic," Loretta said. "I don't get much publicity, you see. I'm used to working in the shadows."

Rosalba nodded. Many murderers were.

"It's just likely that the sequels will come to me. Everything else does, right? It's a famous series, unfinished, and obviously the publishers would like to keep it going. I've worked with them before. There's no deal in place yet, of course, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone asked me about it."

That was the rest of her backstory. Loretta had started out as a ghost-writer, knocking out autobiographies for a handful of minor celebrities, where 'auto' meant they sometimes briefed her in the car. She'd learnt to write a simile in another woman's shoes, talk in her voice, consider how her upbringing might impact her use of this word or that. She knew the weight of birthplace, class and education, Oxford commas and Newcastle full stops.

She'd been very good at it. After the first few attempts, Loretta had made quite a name for herself within the industry, even if she always used another nom de plume. It transpired that she had a spectacular gift for mimicry. Most budding writers worked until they found their own style, but Loretta had soon discovered that she none: instead, she bore an uncanny ability to imitate others. She was an impressionist, a mould, a mirror. A lexical chameleon.

But when imitating living writers, for all her talent as vernacular ventriloquist, Loretta's role was limited. Her skills served only to write on their behalf; or, when they turned her down, she won her revenge in producing knock-off versions in their style, or cutting parodies which captured them in their entirety. But even that felt like a poor part to play, when she could just wait to take over the whole thing.

It had been a publisher's idea. She had been ghost-writing a series for a TV actor turned 'author', who had turned their hand to writing for one-and-a-half novels before growing bored and moving on, when they'd suddenly passed away in a freak golfing accident. They'd suggested she finish the manuscript she'd been working on at the time, to be published posthumously, and she'd tried to wrap up the series as best she could.

But it had done incredibly well, and had fans weeping in the knowledge there were no sequels to come, no resolution of this arc or that, the death of a series inspiring as many mourners as the passing of the man whose name was on the cover. The publishing house had taken one look at such an untapped well of raw demand, and decided it would be a shame to close up shop just yet: they'd suggested she 'take over' the books as an up-and-coming author, as others had done for bestselling series before.

The rest was history. Those who'd worked with Loretta on other projects knew her way with other people's words, and she started to be hired to finish series she'd never worked on before, with the ability to write them in exactly the style of the original. She was the one they turned to when an author died, to keep the ink and the revenue flowing. To take up their pen, and sometimes their mantle, at the appropriate juncture, after a suitable pause to grieve - and sometimes not even that.

In literature, as in film, it was seen that the show must always go on - the studios weren't above recasting the lead with a lookalike to finish the job, and now publishing houses could do the same. Loretta was still a ghost writer, in a way, but now in the sense that the author whose characters she wore, whose flourishes she took up as her own, were the ghosts; and she the living vessel, channelling their spirit, her typewriter guided as fingers tracing on a Ouija board.

She became them like never before; Loretta trained herself to be a method actor, to read only her subject's words, to write only her facsimiles. She learnt all that she could about their lives, their influences - her works had to capture some part of their departed essence, every line a eulogy, a final testament. It was more pressured, this way. Not only were they not around to proof-read the result, to correct any mis-steps, but she bore the weight of their souls on her conscience. She had to do them justice.

Sometimes the families helped her with fidelity, able to share that precious background, other correspondence, and read through her first draft. Sometimes, to Loretta's surprise, she found herself able to help them in return: they read her books and heard their loved one's voice beyond the grave, a sense of humour they'd forgotten, all of those little remarks and idiosyncrasies that brought them for a moment back to life.

A grief-stricken few had asked for more - farewell letters in a husband's hand, a father's missed wedding speech - but Loretta always turned them down. It was one thing keeping the deceased's memory alive, but another to try to replace them, to put words into their mouths beyond the realm of fiction. She could supplant the things they wrote that weren't real, to entwine her lies into theirs, but she would never seek to overwrite their truth.

Her adopted series were widely successful - sometimes more so than the author had been in life - but the fame and fortune increased Loretta's sense of guilt. If she sold more copies than others, she knew, it was only because she scavenged from the shoulder bones of giants. She sometimes felt a sort of graveyard ghoul, leeching the remaining warmth from one host before she moved onto the next. But this was all that she could do. This was what she was best at.

"Exactly," Rosalba said. It wasn't often that a suspect freely admitted their own motive. "That's why I'm here. It strikes me that you had the most to gain from Mr McInytre's death."

"Wait, what? You think he was killed?"

"His car was found at the bottom of a lake near to his home, with his body suspended inside of it. Drowned. The coroner has not yet ruled out suicide, or death by misadventure, but we are treating it as suspicious, yes. Enquiries are ongoing."

"And you came straight to me?"

"Almost," Rosalba said. "We spoke to his publishers first - they were upset at losing their golden goose, and seemingly had no motive to wish Mr McIntyre dead. We asked them for a list of potential alternatives, and your name came up. On top of the list, as it happens. Shall I ask the question again?"

"Sorry," Loretta said, feeling her way into the detective's exhausted, matter-of-fact tone, as if trying a new jacket on for size. "But I'm going to need a little more information. You've only spoken to the publishers, who you think have the all clear, before me? Other than the coroner, and your colleagues, is there anybody else who is aware of Mr McIntyre's death?"

"Well, the killer, presumably." Rosalba shifted in her seat, clearly discomfited by the shift in her suspect's tone, like the distorted echo from the bottom of a well. People didn't tend to like to hear their own reflection. "Unless you're including them in that group of people, in which case I'm interested to know where."

"Are you sure about that?" Loretta continued. "I mean, think about it. A car pushed into a lake. If one of your other suspects did that, could they really know for sure that he had drowned? A miraculous escape is possible, right? Even if they stayed to make sure, he could have held his breath, found a pocket of air, until the rescue arrived. Unlikely, sure, but possible."

"What exactly are you arguing here? That it couldn't be you, because you'd have murdered him more thoroughly?"

"No, it wasn't me. But if you've got your list of suspects, I'd be happy to help you bait out the real killer, if you can keep the death quiet for a few hours more. Just pass me a copy of one of his books, and I'll find a pen and paper."

"Wait - you're going to pretend to be him, and write to each of them, to say what? I know it was you? You won't get away with this?" Rosalba was long since out of her depth. This interview had slipped away from her from the moment she'd stepped foot inside this house. "And hope that they'll believe it's really him?"

"That's right," Loretta said, already searching for her pen. "Haven't you ever resurrected anyone before?"

[scholarlypidgeot]

This is going to sound horrible but.. is God.. is God really any better than that Oxford comma degenerate.. There are parts of the Bible where He says “because you have sinned, I will cause horrors to fall upon you” including death and sexual violence (Deuteronomy 28, Isaiah 13). Now on one hand we can say “God can kill people and punish cultures for their sin by allowing bad things to happen to them, He’s God”, but.. is that mental gymnastics? This is a genuine question. This is not a “gotcha” or a “troll”. I have legitimately been discerning conversion for many years I just.. become troubled.. sometimes..

God bless

Okay so. I don't think the Bible ever condones sexual violence. Not in the places you describe nor anywhere else. In fact if anything he punishes sexual sin above many others -- including rape, as seen in the story of Lot and that one husband from Benjamin who had to give up his wife to save the rest of his family.

So the lines from Deuteronomy you're describing - I think 28: 15 to the end of the chapter? Aside from the curse of getting cuckolded in verse 30 I'm not seeing anything sexual at all in the Douay-Rheims version that I use. The same version also explains this curse:

[15] "All these curses": Thus God dealt with the transgressors of his law in the Old Testament: but now he often suffers sinners to prosper in this world, rewarding them for some little good they have done, and reserving their punishment for the other world.

We see in the book of Hosea that he wishes to forgive sinners and despite Israel's disloyalty, wishes to see her return to him rather than destroyed. She is destroyed, as we see in the Babylonian Captivity, when she fails to place her trust in Him.

Now I do see your point in Isaiah 13:16 especially, but given what I know about Babylon at the time (and especially at the time Isaiah was foreseeing) this seems to be a cry for vengeance against wrongs already done against Israel. This is the list of crimes committed against Jerusalem turned back against her aggressor. This reversal and vengeance against those who sin against Israel is a common theme in prophesy, and while it's described as something the Lord would bring down it's more of something the Lord permitted, as Babylon herself was sacked in the late B.C. era. This is a curse, yes, but it's also a vision of things that would come which were not brought about at the hand of the Israelites.

I think I rambled there at the end and I apologize for that. I am not personally a biblical theologian but I have studied some biblical theology, so I'm open to other sources that might indicate otherwise and polite debate. Anyway I hope I made my point clear, at least. God bless and thank you for the ask!

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

4. Lambasted. It's such a vibe. You hear it and you go hell yea that word means heavily criticized. It just feels so violent. Also it's fun to say, and since it sounds like that it's a lot of fun to be overdramatic with it.

31. I absolutely adore you guys. Sometimes I write down really nice comments and stick them in a jar I have, and when I feel down I pull one out and read it. It really helps with my mood. You guys have no idea how much I cherish each and every one of you. <3

34. Absolute necessity. Haven't you ever seen those examples of how terribly things can go without them? Simple example: I can say I have experiences with the Pope, a man and a woman. Yes, the correct way of saying that is that I have experiences with three different people, but it could also be read that the Pope is both a man and a woman. Which is probably blasphemy or something.

Also, I'm an author. I like commas.