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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 6 months ago

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All In 10

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power imbalance, low self esteem, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: you meet a mysterious man on a night out with your sister. (petite!reader)

based on the winning option for this poll

Characters: casino owner!Bucky Barnes

Note: who's a tired bitch?

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Bucky drives you home. Just him. No Merv. You have your books and the pajamas but it feels like so much more.

His fingers tap on the shifter. You’re overly aware of his every move. You try to shrink yourself in the seat, feeling crowded with only him in the car. His hand slips and he reaches over to rest it on your thigh. He rubs you through your pants.

“You alright?” He asks in a grit.

“Yeah,” you squeak, fixating on his touch. “Fine.”

“You don’t gotta be so nervous. You know I like you,” his fingers continue to move, sending ripples through you, “not much you can do to change that either.”

You press yourself into the seat and flick your eyes up to the windshield. You recognise that house. Your thoughts rush over you and you grab his hand, squeezing it.

“Stop,” you say.

He hits the brake and you flutter your lashes, looking at him, “just drop me here. I can walk.”

“What? Doll? What’s wrong?”

“I... well... what if someone sees you?” You ask, “my mom, my sister... they’d wanna know why you were driving me home if I’m just working at the hotel, wouldn’t they?”

He considers you and tilts his head, “hm, you’re clever too, doll. Suppose they would.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not--”

You keep your hand on his but don’t try to move him. Nor does he pull away. Instead, he squeezes your leg and lets out a purr.

“I’ll make you a deal, doll, you give me a kiss and I’ll do what you say. You can go, enjoy your books, try on your jammies,” his blues eyes blaze at you, “and I’ll be patient. I’ll wait for you. Until tomorrow.” He makes a pained expression, “you know a man can only take so much when it comes to pretty women.”

You giggle, overwhelmed by his words. No one ever calls you pretty, only your mom. In fact, Roxie always said it was good you have a brain because your looks won’t get you very far, and she wasn’t proven wrong. Not until him.

“Okay, uh,” you gulp and look down at his hand, slowly peeling yours off of him, “I just...”

You touch the seat belt and follow it down to the buckle. You click the button and let it repel behind the seat. You swallow again, trying to wet your dry mouth. If it gets you home without any extra questions, you can give him a kiss. It wasn’t so bad earlier, was it. It made you feel... a lot.

You shift and lean towards him. His hand crawls up your leg to your hip as he urges you close, himself angling over the space between your seats. Your gaze meet his sapphire irises and you squeeze your eyelids shut. He’s so handsome you could melt. And he want a kiss. From you!

You press your lips to his. He growls and his other hand comes up to the back of your head, holding you there before you can pull away. His tongue glides along your lips and delves past them. Like earlier, he invades your mouth eagerly, drawing you into him as he groans. You grasp the front of his shirt and squeak.

The smell of his rich cologne seeps into your nose and his warmth swirls around you. You’re trapped by more than his strength; you’re completely swept up in his need. You’ve never felt anything like that. No one has ever wanted you as much as he has. Even if you’re scared, it’s nice to feel that.

He leaves you breathless as he parts his lips from yours, hovering just before you as his pants shallowly. His tongue pokes out and traces his lips. He purrs and his eyes threaten to swallow you up. He’s even more handsome up close; ever line is like a paint stroke in a masterpiece, every hair is placed perfectly, and his features are sculpted just so.

You blink and feel your chest crush. He's so much better than you; more attractive, richer, older, smarter... Your eyes gloss over just a little with the reminder and his hand slips down to your neck, his grip on your slackening. A divot forms between his brows in disappointment.

“What’s the matter, doll?” He rasps.

You shake your head and force a smile, “nothing,” you eke between taut cheeks, “I just... I don’t want to let you down.”

“Doll, you can’t do that,” he chuckles, “you gotta trust yourself. Trust me. I mean every word I say.” He exhales and looks you up and down, “I want you so bad...” His fingers curl into your neck and you feel him shake, “you...” He closes his eyes, his lips slightly open, and he pulls his hand off of you. He recoils and sits back in his seat. “You should go before I just gotta show ya.”

Is it a threat? It sounds like one. Your blood runs cold as he balls his hand to a fist. He puffs through his nostrils, eyes still closed as if he’s fighting himself. You reach back to grab the bag from behind the seat and pull it into your lap.

“Thank you, Bucky, for the drive home,” you say, “and for everything else. It’s all so nice.”

“Doll,” he dips his head down, “anything...” His fist tightens, “have a good night.”

“You too,” you chirp and pull on the door handle.

It doesn't open. Panic pricks in your chest as you search for the lock. You hear a pop and glance over as Bucky presses a button. The door unlocks and you nearly fall out of the car.

You right yourself and close the door gently with a sheepish look in his direction. He watches you, reaching to grip the steering wheel. You give a tiny wave and slowly turn away. There’s a giddiness in you. Even if you’re entirely out of your element and can’t quite believe any of it, you feel special. You’ve never really felt that. Just forgotten.

You start down the street. You don’t look back until you get to the corner and look back. Bucky sits still in the car, just where he stopped. You can’t see through the tinted windows. His headlights flash, a signal but for what, you’re not sure.

You turn and continue onto your mother’s street. You stop just at the threshold and look down at the bag in your hand. You don’t like to lie but you need one. You walk up to the front door and onto the small porch. You enter quietly, hoping maybe you won’t be heard. You’ve never struggled very much before going unnoticed.

Your sister lays on the couch in the breadth of the oscillation fan. It’s hot. The news said there’s a heat wave. You’re feeling it now. You almost feel bad that you’d been too busy to notice before. That you’d been in nice places where every detail, including the temperature, is perfect.

“Finally home,” Roxie sneers without looking over the back of the couch, “long shifts at the casino, huh?”

“Uh, yeah,” you do your best to keep the bag from crinkling. “Busy.”

“That’s what a job is. Try a night at the club. That shit is chaos.”

“Sure, uh, I can’t imagine,” you shuffle into the kitchen.

You expect to find your mom waiting for you but it’s empty. You go to your room and hide the bag on the other side of your dresser. You close your door and come back out. She’s there, in her robe with a bonnet on her head.

“Mom,” you croak, “hi, uh--”

“How was it? First day!” She chimes.

“Uh, yeah it...” your voice trails off as your jaw locks and you fear the truth spilling out. The day flows through your mind; the kissing, the books, the food, and more kissing. “...was a lot.”

“Oh, yes, well, a casino,” she chuckles, “that can’t be anything but hectic. So what do they got you doing? Dealer? That’s exciting.”

“No, er, no, just... cleaning,” you stammer.

“Right, yes, I forgot. You said before. I’m sure people make a mess there too,” she scrunches her nose, “so, what do you feel like for dinner? We’ve been waiting on you. Tacos? Spaghetti?”

“Oh, I’m not very hungry,” you say, “sorry, but I’ll help you cook.”

“You should eat, honey,” she insists.

“I now, it’s just...” you look up at the ceiling and think. You scour your mind for your brief recollection of the casino, “they have a buffet at work. Employees eat free and... I got carried away.”

“Ah, lucky. Wish my work had a buffet,” she trills, “guess I should just be thankful for the health insurance.”

“Mm, yeah,” you try to smile, “so, I can help cook--”

“No, no, you just had your first day. You just relax. I’ll leave a bit extra for you, just in case,” she squeezes your shoulder then caresses your arm gently, “I hope you know how proud I am of you.”

“Oh yeah,” Roxie blusters as she appears behind you, “because scrubbing toilets is so amazing.”

She shoulders past and your mom moves out of her path. You frown and your mom gives her a sardonic look, “hey, I’m proud of you too. I’ve told you that.”

“Why? I hand out flyers to desperate men looking for one-night stands?”

“Don’t say it like that,” your mom rebukes.

“Well, it’s the truth,” she snickers, “half the night, I don’t even hand out the things. I just hang out by the hot dog seller. He gives me free food.” Roxie looks at your archly, “see, not the only one with perks.”

“Mm, I like hot dogs,” you say, “um, I’m gonna... lay down.”

“Sure thing, honey, let me know if you need anything. Oh, chamomile? I could put the kettle on.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” you assure her as you back up. “Promise I’m fine. I, er... tomorrow, I start in the afternoon so I’m gonna sleep in.”

“Oo, that will be nice. But be careful, if you’re working late, I’m sure there’ll be some unruly people hangin’ around,” her forehead lines with concern, “I’ll give you some extra money for a cab. I don’t want you on the bus that late.”

“Oh, alright,” you agree, just wanting to hide. You don’t like lying and with each word, it’s harder to hold yourself together. You don’t think you can do this. “Thanks.”

“Course, hon, whatever you need.”

You retreat to your room. You sit on the bed and stare at the wall. It’s not just today, but tomorrow, and the next day. How long until Bucky moves on to the next thing? You googled him, you’re not that naive. At least you don’t think you are.

It feels rotten. You don’t like not telling your mom the truth. You tell her everything. She’s the one person who listened to you. Well, until Bucky. You can feel his gaze just thinking of it. How intent he is on every word, how he focuses on your lips as they outline every syllable.

You’re an adult. It’s not a lie. It’s a secret. And you don’t have a lot of options. It’s about time you help out and Burger King isn’t calling you back to scrape grills.

No matter how many times you justify it, it still feels wrong. Even if the way Bucky looks at you makes you all wiggly inside, it’s still lying. Even if you really need the money, it doesn’t change what you’re doing. And you are doing it. You have to.

You don’t want to see another red notice in the mailbox, you don’t want to hear your mom crying through the wall. You want to be able to give her a day off, more than that. She’s taken care of you for so long, this is just what you need to do to take care of her.

That’s what you’ll keep telling yourself.

You get up and go to the dresser and take the bag from behind it. You slide out a book and lay down with it. That’s how you cope. You read, you go to a world that doesn’t exist, just until you’re forced back to reality.

You shiver at what awaits you at the end of the first chapter. You know what Bucky expects and you know he won’t forget. The thought of the pajamas, the little top and the tiny shorts...

Don’t think of it. Open the book. Things will be normal for just a little longer.

#bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #au #all in #mcu #casino au #marvel #winter soldier #captain america #avengers

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 2 months ago

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Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part 7

Summary: Your friend "date" with Jungkook is interesting but thankfully the events from this morning don't prevent you from having a good time. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 3.8K (I'm sorry it's short but I wanted to get it out since it's been way too long) Warnings: No real warnings other than slightly jealous and possessive Jungkook (but we all know that's a good warning 🤭) a/n: It's been fucking four months I'm so sorry 😭 It's been so hard for me to update my series recently since my attention span literally sucks right now so one shots have been a lot easier to get out but hopefully some of you guys are still around to read this story 🥲 p.s. the last third of this isn't edited at all so please ignore any nonsense 😅

After Jungkook and I finally agree on an outfit for me to wear we head off to whatever mysterious location he's taking us to.

"You gonna pout all the way there?" he teases, pointing out my crossed arms and legs and the fact that I haven't spoken to him since we left. "I told you I hate surprises" I grumble, the feeling of the unknown making me uncomfortable.

"You've gotta live a little Darling" he teases and goes back to driving. He hands me his phone that's plugged into the aux as a sign for me to put on a playlist and that brings up my mood right away. He chuckles when he sees me put on my favorite song since he knows that music always lifts my spirits.

"You're never gonna get tired of this song are you?" he sighs, this being the twelfth time he's asked. "Nope" I answer, popping the 'p' at the end. "This song came out when you were two years old" he chuckles, trying to clue me in but I don't pay any mind to it. "All the more reason to like it!" I argue back and he shakes his head.

"Perfect Man by Shinhwa is a masterpiece and I will accept no arguments" I say, making my statement on the matter final.

There's a quiet air that's hung between us for a couple moments before when both bust out laughing. "I swear we never fail to have the same conversation every time I play this song" I point out and he smiles.

"That's because I love watching you defend something with your whole being. It's cute" he says and my throat gets dry.

This being the first semi flirty comment he's thrown at me since everything happened. Well, besides commenting on how I look because who wants to be told nothing after putting on a cute outfit, even when he's the one who's chosen it.

His comments have been nothing but respectful so there's no harm in letting him do as he pleases but it's just making this whole friends ordeal a lot harder.

~~~~~~

As we pull up to the place he had kept a secret from me I realize why he had me wear this specific outfit since from the looks of it we've come to some sort of ropes course.

"I've never been to one of these" I say, marveling at the zip lines, ropes, ladders and pulley systems that are strewn about this forested area.

"Do you wanna give it a try? We can always just go to the restaurant they have here but I thought I would still offer it since I told you I had something fun planned for us" he offers, leaving the choice up to me but I nod my head immediately, really wanting to try it out.

"Yeah?" he chuckles when he sees my excitement grow. "Yes! Come on let's go!" I say, grabbing his hand and trying to drag him along.

"Wait a second Bunny" he chuckles, holding me back and I watch him as he opens the trunk and grabs a big hoodie for me to wear. "So we don't mess up that pretty little top you're wearing" he says and the playfulness around the statement making my heart skip a beat.

"I could've brought my own" I say but he shakes his head in protest. "It's easier this way so you don't have to worry about it getting dirty, now arms up" he says and I furrow my brow. "Jungkook I can put it on myself" I laugh but he doesn't find it amusing. "I know, arms up" he orders and I do as he says, laughing at the no doubt comical sight of him struggling with it.

"You know now that I think about it it's a lot easier to take your clothes off than it is to put them on" he casually says, making me wack him in the arm once the hoodie is on properly. "Friends Jungkook. Or I can go back to calling you Mr. Jeon" I say with an arched brow and he chuckles. "Friends" he agrees and closes the trunk.

"So can we go now?" I ask, glancing over at the course before looking back to him for approval. "Yes Bunny go ahead" he says, giving me the go ahead and following after me as I make a bee line for the equipment room.

"Hi!" I say excitedly to the guy at the counter when it's my turn to check us in. "Hey, first time?" he chuckles, me looking around at everything with a childlike wonder in my eyes. "Yeah! I honestly didn't even know a place like this existed around here" I admit, Jungkook again taking me to a place I had never been before.

I guess he really is determined to take all of my firsts.

"Well I hope you'll come around more often then, there's a whole lot more to experience than just these ropes" he says and in my awestruck state I don't notice the suggestive tone behind his wording.

"You find something you like?" he asks, my sight going past him and looking at all the harnesses. "I have a friend that's coming in a second so do you think you could get us two?" I ask while pointing at them.

"Sure, is your friend as pretty as you are?" he asks and before I can even think of a response someone is interrupting our conversation. "I would think so" I hear a deep voice say behind me, his hand placed on my hip in a slight possessive manner making my breath hitch.

The boy's eyes widen a bit, looking at the dynamic between the two of us and doesn't exactly know what to make of it and decides to go find harnesses for the both of us.

"What was that?" I ask, whipping around and glaring up at him. "What? We agree to be friends for a little while and suddenly you're ready to jump ship?" Jungkook says, crossing his arms and watching as the boy not so casually glances over at us.

"He was just being friendly" I scoff, knowing for a fact that he wasn't but playing into this oblivious act I had accidentally fallen into. "Right...friendly" he says in a monotone, not wanting to get into a senseless argument and taking the high road. I don't miss the way his hand balls into a fist for a second before relaxing it once I've decided to drag him over to look at the little souvenirs they have in the shop.

"Alright here's a harness for you, and one for you sir." the employee says, a flirtatious tone in his voice when he addresses me and a more strict and professional voice when he addresses Jungkook.

"Did you want some help putting that on?" the boy asks, clearly just taking it as a chance to get closer to me since Jungkook's slight display of possessiveness of me wasn't a big enough clue that we may...or may not be together. "Oh no that's okay, I'm sure you've got other things to do" I deny, stepping into it on my own and in true y/n fashion I end up tripping over one of the straps.

"Careful Darling" Jungkook says, steadying me on my feet and when I look back over at the boy he's awkwardly frozen with his arms out, having intended to help me but decided against it since he was smart enough to realize that it might not be the smartest idea.

I look between the boy and Jungkook and see how Jungkook hasn't stopped glaring at him no matter how uncomfortable the boy is. "Looks like you've got other customers to help" Jungkook says, nodding towards the people at the counter, clearly looking to check in just as we did.

"Right, well let me know if you need anything" he responds, his focus completely on me as he relays his message. "I will" Jungkook jumps in and the boy nervously glances between the two of us before heading over to the counter and helping the group of four that just came in.

"Was that really necessary?" I ask, my arms crossed over my chest as Jungkook tightens the harness on me, making sure I won't need any 'help' with it later. "He was trying way too hard and he clearly couldn't get a clue about us" he says, his glare still prevalent in his direction.

"Jungkook there isn't an 'us' right now okay" I say and he sighs. "Keep on telling yourself that" he mumbles quite enough that I couldn't make it out when another crowd comes in. "What was that?" I ask but he quickly brushes it off and herds me out of the store before it gets even more crowded.

As we wait for the group to now gather in the waiting area outside neither of us have spoken a word to each other, stealing glances every so often since we just can't help it. We're attracted to each other and from my point of view I don't think that's gonna change anytime soon.

"Alright everyone can I get you all gathered over here?" that same guy from inside the shop calls out and we all do as he says with Jungkook cursing under his breath. "Fucking fantastic, he's our leader" he grumbles but I grab him by the arm and drag him so we can catch up with the group.

"Come on I thought you said this was supposed to be fun" I say and he sighs, collecting himself and slowly changing his attitude. "Alright I'm sorry Darling" he says, not dragging his feet or sulking anymore and putting that nonsensical jealously out of his head...at least for right now.

"Alright welcome welcome everyone to BranchBound Adventures! How's everyone doing today?" he asks and we all let out cheers of excitement but what I don't notice is the way that Jungkook looks at me with a soft smile when he realizes again how much I'm loving this already. He takes a mental note to bring me here again soon so he can watch that same childlike excitement bloom again.

"Excellent, looks like we've got a fun group here today! Well my name is Jayson and this is Kimberly and we're gonna be your BranchBound Buddies, sound good?" he says and I can't ignore the way Jungkook snorts at the title they've been given but it's only loud enough for me to hear thankfully.

"Behave!" I scold, not wanting to turn this into some sort of immaturity contest when he knows damn well he's a grown ass adult and he should not be acting like this. He holds his hands up in surrender when he sees my glare but can't help but smirk at the fact that Jayson as we've recently found out his name is watching our exchange.

As the day goes by and we're close to the end of our little ropes course adventure Jayson decides it's now or never and decides to make another move.

"You've done a great job today! Didn't know you would be so good with ropes" he says, not hiding the fact that he's probably imagining using these ropes on me in a completely different context. "Yeah I didn't know I would be either" I chuckle and look over and see Jungkook glaring daggers into Jayson's forehead while he hooks me up to the zip line.

"Did you want to go nice and slow or fast?" he asks, his eyes drinking me in but I don't pay him any mind as I just watch the way that Jungkook is reacting to our exchange. "Y/n?" Jayson asks, breaking me out of the trance I had been lost in, thinking about what Jungkook would do to me after this if we were together.

"Sorry what?" I ask and I can tell that he's pretty much starting to get the memo at this point. "Nothing, just tuck your legs in close to you if you want to go faster" he explains and I nod my head and wait while Jungkook gets hooked up to the other line thats parallel to mine.

"Wanna race?" I challenge him since I know he would never back down from one. "What do I get if I win?" he says with a smirk.

"Whatever you want..." I say nervously and I have a feeling I'm going to regret that. "...but I want ice cream if I win!" I say to wipe away the tension but he brings it right back with his claim if he wins.

"I want a kiss" he says and when he clearly sees the way that I'm gearing up to protest a simple cock of his brow silences that. "You said that I could have anything I want right?" he asks I sigh and nod, my energy to go back on my word dissipating.

It's just one kiss right?

"Deal" I agree and he can't hold back the smile and vote of confidence it gives him. "Get ready to lose" he says and before I have a chance to argue back Kimberly is counting us off and in my semi scattered state Jungkook takes off before me giving him a ten second head-start.

"No fair!" I call after him when I'm finally able to catch up and he let's out a hearty laugh. "You're the one who proposed this whole race Bunny" he says making me look away, 'his timing with that nickname is always impeccable', I think to myself as I hide my blush.

"Hurry up!" I hear him call out as he is suddenly a lot further down the line than I am. "Hey!" I laugh, deciding to put that thought away to not sour my mood and just focus on there here and now.

Once I finally get to the end Jungkook has already gotten unhooked from the zip line and is standing victorious waiting to claim his prize.

"You only won because you're taller than me" I grumble as if I'm actually upset that he won when in fact the thought of him putting in effort just to kiss me make my heart beat faster. "I thought smaller things were supposed to be more aerodynamic" he teases in response but I huff and stand in front of him, clearly waiting for him to claim his reward.

"I didn't say when I was going to kiss you" he teases and walks away and back toward the shop where we had first come from since our time is up. "Hey!" I protest again, not liking the slight embarrassment he caused me.

"Oh come on you'll be okay" he teases as he takes his harness off and then helps me out of mine after. "Whatever" I huff and something behind me catches his eye and before I'm able to turn around he's knocking me off my feet and giving me a rather over exaggerated kiss if you ask me to the point that people are whistling and hyping us up.

I hit on his chest when I'm finally running out of air and he carefully puts me back on my feet and when I catch the sight of Jayson staring at us with an unreadable expression on his face I know now why he did that.

"You're insufferable" I huff and fix my rumbled clothes from his breathless kiss but he doesn't seem bothered in the slightest. "Interesting response after receiving a kiss that made you blush but I'll take it" he shrugs and we both head back into the gift shop for the last time so Jungkook can no doubt flaunt the fact that from Jayson's point of view we're together.

Honestly I could care less and I won't deny that it was hot as fuck watching him get angry with the very minimal interactions Jayson and I had but I won't let him have that satisfaction. "Didn't realize you were so insecure" I taunt and make sure his eyes are on me before I look over to where Jayson is still clearly watching us and give him a flirty wave goodbye with Jungkook hurrying to usher me out.

"I wouldn't be insecure if you were mine already so until then you'll have to be patient with me" he says through gritted teeth, a reaction I was hoping for from that little stunt I pulled. "I can manage" I say and walk off towards the only restaurant here where I'm sure he was planning on taking me and when he follows me and has a hand placed low on my waist to guide me there my suspicions are confirmed.

"Reservation for Jeon" he says to the host at the front desk and while he looks for it Jungkook's demeanor is a little softer, that soft maturity coming back from having us in a controlled and relaxed environment. "Right this way Mr and Mrs. Jeon" the host says and I practically choke on air at that, the title mistakenly given to me sending my heart into overdrive.

"Don't worry she's fine, come on Honey" Jungkook reassures the waiter as Jungkook encourages me along to follow him to our table.

Once we're seated our waiter comes by immediately to bring us water since I had clearly caused enough of a spectacle to garner a hurried solution for my coughing fit. He gives us our menus as well soon after and leaves us be, allowing me some more space to compose myself.

Jungkook can't hide the smile he's had since my reaction had started and has turn slightly smug at seeing the blush it had caused me. "Shut up" I grumble and take another gulp of water having traded his glass for mind since I had practically drank mine in one go after that.

"I didn't say anything" he chuckles leaving me glaring at him. "But your face did" I say after having put my almost empty glass back down on the table. "Oh yeah? And what is it saying now?" he asks, leaning forward as if he was giving me a better look at it.

"It's saying that you're enjoying the fact that I'm still squirming over the thought of being called Mrs. Jeon" I say and he sits back, proud of my intuition. "Impressive Bunny. Better get used to it though" he says cockily and I narrow my eye at him and scoff.

"You're pretty confident for someone I technically haven't agreed to date" I say but his smirk widens before throwing out a playful 'Yet' and our waiter is back at our table before I have a chance to argue back.

After the waiter has taken our order and a little while after is bringing out our food our conversations have gone back to what had been seen as normal for us. A slight flirty edge to his words which I not so subtly glare at in response always making him chuckle but it's getting harder and harder for me to want to do that.

Why should I scold him? It's not like I don't want him too...

As we finish up the day with the ice cream I technically did not earn we start to make our way back to his car where he opens the door for me and make it a point to put on my seatbelt so I can still enjoy the cone I'm almost finished with.

"Thanks Dad" I tease after he's buckled me in like a child and I'm granted a sarcastic smile in return only making me smile harder. He closes the door and gets in on his side and soon we're on our way back to the house...

~~~~~

The ride back is quiet, comfortable but quiet with the only sound being the hum of my playlist coming through the speaker and the gusts of cool air coming through the vents but it's soon broken by the question he's been wanting to ask.

"Did you have fun?" it's a simple question but I know thoughts of what had happened earlier today are coming back to him as we get closer and closer to the house. "I did, a lot actually. You're not too shabby at planning dates" I confirm and he glances over with a smirk.

"I thought this wasn't a date?" he counters and I chuckle. "It wasn't until you kissed me" I say and he shakes his head. "A kiss equals a date, got it" he says quietly, tucking that information into his back pocket and I can't help but smile as I see a soft one still rests on his lips.

~~~~

When we finally pull into the driveway and he turns off the engine I hold onto his arm for a second, asking him to stay in the car for a second so he does and sits back and keeps his eyes on me, waiting for what I have to say.

The thing is is that I don't know what to say, I don't even know why I asked him to stay in here but he just watches me fondly, not rushing anything and waiting patiently for me.

"I don't think we can be friends" I say, looking down at my lap so I can't see the expression he has on his face. "What do you mean by that Bunny?" he asks, that nickname making my heart skip a beat like it does every time and I shake my head, still looking down at my lap. "I mean, I don't wanna be friends" I say hoping he'll understand and when he lifts my chin I expect him to ask me to explain what I mean but instead I'm met with his lips on mine.

They're not full of passion or lust or anything of the sort. Just pure longing and understanding, understanding of the want to go about things at my own pace, an understanding that he's okay with going slow and that's all I need.

"We can go slow" he says after we've broken the kiss, audibly confirming what he had physically displayed and I bite back a smile and nod before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"Thank you" I whisper and he pulls away to get a better look at me. "Whatever for?" he asks in such a cute way I can't help but laugh. "For not forcing me or making me feel bad about my indecision" I say and he smiles and cups my face, brushing his thumb along my cheekbone, a sad smile on his face at the thought of what I might've gone through with Jared that would require that sense of relief from his actions.

"I'm sorry about this morning" I say even softer this time and he nods, "I know" and those two words bring me comfort in ways that he couldn't understand even if I told him.

I was scared shitless that I had messed things up, that I had done something that could've damaged us beyond repair but his words and actions from today told me nothing of the sort.

His maturity shows that he knows what he wants and I want to open up and show him that in return...but I just hope I won't regret it.

prev / next Series Masterlist

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater Taglist continued in the reblogs 💜

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook #fanfiction #fanfic #kpop #jeon jungkook #bts #bts jungkook #kpop fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook and oc #jungkook and reader #jungkook and you #jungkook x original character #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #just take it #jti

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toxicanonymity · 2 years ago

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Left in Lincoln - Master List (ongoing)

softdark dads' best friend!Joel x virgin f!Reader

mood board by gracieispunk

series masterlist here, a reblog won't stay updated.

official playlist 🍑 bonus playlist by readers PREMISE: After you were orphaned by the outbreak, Bill and Frank raised you, sheltered in their closed community. Now 21+, you're still inexperienced. They leave to get treatment for Frank and ask Joel to look in on you while they're gone. The town begins to creep you out, but Joel is glad to provide comfort, protection, and education. WARNINGS: I8+ Big, girthy age gap. Joel is very dark and toxic but acts sweet with reader. Angst. Loss of virginity. Manipulation. Slow-burn horror: no gore, no violence toward reader, but this story has given people nightmares. NO USE OF Y/N.

Floorplan

PLEASE STOP PUTTING THIS FIC INTO AI. It's been made into chat bots at least 3x since August and they all sucked. It hurts my writing and gives me a mental block. Do not copy, translate, re-upload, use AI on, or make bots of any of my work.

Part 1 - This Protector (3k) - He lowered his voice and said, "Feelin' this against you, knowin' it's there." His hips lifted gently, and it swelled harder against you. "It's s'posed to feel good. Nothin' to be ashamed of"

Part 2 - The Dirty Ground (5k) - “Ever had an orgasm, darlin'?” He slowed his hips to talk. . . . “Only in my sleep," you said.” Good, that’s your body takin’ care of you. It’s good for you. . .Gonna take this belt off, k?”

Part 3 - The Cold, Cold Night (7k) - He looked from your eyes to your mouth and back then murmured, "Nap really all ya want?" "Just wanna be with you," you answered quietly. His deep voice became nearly a whisper. "Love hearin' that, baby."

Part 4 - Apple Blossom (7.5k) - “Gonna take time ‘fore you’re ready for this,” he said with a roll of his hips. . . You asked, “You want it too, don’t you?” “Course I do, baby,” he panted. “Gotta feel good for both of us, though. Gotta do it right.”

Part 5 - Black Math (8.6k) - “God, if you only knew . . .” There wasn't even a hint of shame in his voice. “We’re almost there, I promise.” He tucked in his shirt and adjusted himself while he was at it. “God damn,” he exhaled. “Turns me on, thinkin’ about it.”

Part 6 - As Ugly as He Seems (8.4k) - You would've given anything for Joel to wake up and ravage you. “s’what I mean, baby,” he murmured sleepily into your hair. "Can't trust myself." He groaned softly as his palm brought you tighter against him. You began to reach behind you, but he intercepted your hand. . .

Part 7 - Forever for her (10k) - [loss of virginity] You looked at his clothes and didn't say anything, but he replied to your silent question with a smile and hushed voice. "no, I don't have to be so dressed..."

I would love to write a part 8 but I've been through a lot in this fandom that people don't see because I don't address it publicly. I don't have an ETA or guarantee, so please don't ask.

-----

Art, etc.

HOT fan art by @bonezone44

Ch 1 mood board by @neverwheremoonchild

Ch 1-6 mood board by gracieispunk

Collage by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Chapter-specific posters

Hot ominous edit by swagxgarfunkle tiktok

Haunting edit by @iamasaddie

If yours is missing PLEASE let me know I probably tagged improperly & couldn't find.

#lincoln!joel #toxic masterlist #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #dark!joel miller #creepy!joel miller #cw age gap

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ice-cream-writes-stuff · 2 years ago

Text

☆There's No Place Like Home☆

《You are new to this... Neighborhood? Where the hell are you?》

Episode 2: Get To Know Know Your Neighbors

[Pilot] [1]

《Warnings: the subject matter this ARG has are potentially disturbing. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. Welcome Home was created by Clown @ partycoffin 》

Sick.

You felt sick after eating that cake. It tasted like pure sugar cane mixed with coffee creamer. The taste was sweeter than any treat you had eaten before.

Yet you don't utter a word about it to your plucky, so-called, "neighbors".

"Well, would you look at the time? It looks like it's late... Er. I think, but I gotta keep.. Unpacking? And I'm sure you all have plans of your own tomorrow."

You pick up the plates quickly, but some of the slices were barely picked at. Other plates are not even a spec of crumbs.

"Yes, of course!" Poppy said, hurriedly fluffing up her feathers in case of any stray pieces of dessert on her.

"Mhm, the post office isn't gonna' run itself." "Nor the bodega!" Howdy and Eddie laugh, Frank, chuckling off to the side.

"Yes, I gotta get some beauty sleep if I wanna dream big!" Sally agreed, pushing out her chair.

"Then I guess it's settled, we'll see you tomorrow, right neighbor?" Wally asks you. Dropping the plates in the sink, a few break on impact. Your hands try to pick up the broken pieces. But recoiled at the sight of your blood staining the fine china.

"Ye-yeah... Absolutely."

"Wonderful!" Julie cheers, coming up to your side by the sink.

"You must join me tomorrow! Your clothes are so odd! I've never seen a style quite like it. I would love it if we could dress up together!" The puppet chattered.

You nodded uncaringly, more focused on the cut on your palm.

"Groovy-..!"

A sharp gasp escapes Julie as Frank comes to her side.

"What... What is that?" Julie questioned you.

"Oh-... it's a cut. I hurt myself..."

"H-HURT! Who said hurt!?" Poppy stumbles near your side, her gaze softening as she asks if you were okay.

The other puppets now standing behind her, awkwardly trying to see your cut.

You hesitantly show the bird-puppet your palm, albeit shaken up by her. You thought she would bite your arm off with her beak.

Instead, she holds out her feathers, tenderly holding your arm.

Her expression turns into one of confusion. "That's odd..?"

"Wh-what??"

"There's only paint, I don't see any stuffing. Are you sure you are hurt?"

You, in turn, give her a puzzled look.

Had... Had these puppets never seen a human before? Much less a human being bleeding?

You take this as a good sign. Glad that these "puppets" didn't eat or have an appetite for humans or blood.

"Paint you say?" Frank bumps in, carefully analyzing your cut. He hums in thought, "Would you mind if I poked your cut?"

"No...Can I have a band-aid or something to close it up please?"

Frank nodded and backs off as Eddie hands you needle and a thread spool. "Here, found it by some of the boxes."

"Thanks..." You said, disregarding the puppets staring at you attentively as you place the items down. Saying you'll clean it up first.

You reassure them you'll be fine as you usher your "neighbors" to the door. Gladly holding the door open for them as they say their good byes and farewells.

Wally was the last one to leave, he smiles sleepily at you. You smile back at the tiniest puppet, feeling your mouth muscles twitch when keeping up the charade.

"I'll tell Home you said 'hello', good night. Neighbor."

[Taglist closed]

@tearjerker666 @trzppyghxuls @cookieswithay @luna-charlie @isometimeswritestuff @kazi-pop @lightspectre-universe @jjowithastar @smilingfox22-blog @jayysnotjoyful @cadaverous-coop @heather-hutchcroft @camilo-uwu @sweetheartturtle2007 @welcomehome102 @pretty-please-just-let-me-sleep @wally-darling-hyperfixation @q1bli @rainingdandelion @anima-chara @tearjerker666 @aceduchessdragoness @sleepy-planet @pauldanosbandonedirection222 @thelittlexd11 @luna-charlie

[Dun-dun-dun!!! Sorry I took so long to update! I've been writing a lot of Welcome Home Oneshots. Comments, art, always help! Thanks for reading!]

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mazzystar24 · 7 months ago

Note

I totally get I just finished my exam week (I had to do a math test at 8am Sat😭). Wish you luck tho!

Also do you have any good buddies fics? Destiel too?

Math test at 8am is BRUTAL

Thank you I will definitely need it😭😭

Unfortunately I only have buddie fics to offer😔:

(Warning I do like a fair amount of angst)

Right where you left me - by hyacinthusbloom ( @thebloomingheather on here) - when I say I might be as big a fan of this fic as I am of the show I MEAN IT, you do not even understand how much I love this fic or how obsessed I am with it, I have reread it so many times despite it still being in progress that I think I may genuinely qualify it as addictive, me and @estheticpotaeto legit wait for updates like a dog at the author’s door istg, like everything about this fic is flawless and written with so much love and emotion and the way the writer captures the effects of trauma is just amazing because it’s so rare to find this level of diving into ptsd and the more uncomfortable aspects of it that are more taboo or less understandable to people, like I can yap for an hour about this fic but I’ll just say READ IT

Any fic by daisies_and_briars ( @cal-daisies-and-briars on here) but one of my favourites of his is Both blade and branch and muscle memory and four can keep a secret and appetency and the two she’s writing right now (change the prophecy and steal my sunshine) -wow at that point I should’ve left it as any fic because that’s a lot of favourites😭😭

Any fic by @loserdiaz plus with them you get enough lighthearted fics to even out the angst

Ooo I’m not sure what their username on here is but lizzybizzyzz is also another writer who I just love their fics

Fractals by hobbitprincess - one of those fics that make you squeak at how much love these fictional characters have for each other

Beneath my mother tongue by archerincombat - the angst the writing the way they hit every single emotional beat? Amazing

Anything by this_is_moony_lovegood

Leave the light on (I’ll be coming home) by HMSLusitania - the presumed dead Eddie fic of your dreams, a constant reread for me it’s just 👌

Anchored by adorkable_buddie - sorry Chris you gotta be injured sometimes just for us to get our buddie dreams hope you understand and we appreciate your sacrifice 😔🫶

empty, broken, lonely, hoping by daniweb - when I tell you I love the presumed dead trope you best believe I’m telling the truth because the ANGST?? Yes please, LISTEN it’s the closest you can get to the emotional beats of killing off a character without ever killing them off because you love them and happy endings too much so TIM MINEAR TAKE NOTES I KNOW YOU SAID YOU LOVE THEM TOO MUCH TO KILL THEM, anyways back to to the point this fic again is just flawless execution by the writer like absolutely love it

every time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) by withmeornotatall - emotional destruction and I absolutely love it, divorce era 2.0 and it HITS

Home is where it hurts- by rileyblue2001 - can you tell I hate the Buckley parents because I HATE the Buckley parents

The one with the return of the sex addiction by buddiefication (pumpkincreamcoldbrew) - I’ve reccomended so much angst so have a funny little light hearted buddie fic with the father bobby vibes we all love❤️❤️

Okay back to the angst tho 😭😭- out of ashes by Ashavahishta - AHHHHHHH THIS FIC JUST AHHHHH STOP THE WAY I WOULD DIE FOR A FOLLOW UP FIC TO THIS AHHHH I LOVE IT SM AND ITS LEGIT A ONE SHOT I CRIED SO HARD

Falling Slowly; Sing Your Melody (I’ll Sing It Loud) by Princessfbi ( @princessfbi on here who I also love sm of their fics so highly suggest just going on their page and looking through all the fics) - absolutely love it, legit gave me brain rot and got me obsessed for a GOOD while

I'm comin' back, don't let me go by wikiangela ( @wikiangela on here also love love their fics again so check them out but this one is probably my favourite of theirs)

Okay this is looking more and more like a uni reading list so I’m gonna shut up now but I hope you enjoy these fics and that a few of them emotionally damage you like they did me because I love to spread the joy (see: pain and suffering) 🫶🫶

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dbnightingale24 · 8 months ago

Text

My Little Decoy

A StevexReaderxBucky Messy Triangle

Another story for Patreon! So, for this one, I'm a bit anxious (when am I not?), because this definitely took off in the complete opposite direction of what I initially planned. That being said, I hope you all enjoy it!

Thank you as always to @fuckingbye for the amazing moodboard, I love you to bits for literally everything you do! I was in the middle of updating three other stories when this idea came to me, so please just work with me! (I'm so sorry I'm like this.)

Anywho, here we go!

Word Count: 34,776 (I'm not even gonna apologize anymore)

Warnings: Honestly, this entire fucking story. SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY), Threesome, Lying, Infidelity, Emotional Cheating, Swearing, Drinking, Infertility, Family Drama, Angst, Lusting, Daddy Kink, Running Away, Tie Play, Cuff Play, Crying, Fluff, Best friends to lovers...that's all I can think of? They're honestly so many.

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Don't Look So Blue, You Should've Seen Right Thru, I'm Using You, My Little Decoy

Summary: You truly do have the best intentions when you try to move on and suppress your feelings for your best friend Steve, and try to move on with Bucky. Unfortunately, life doesn't give a damn about intentions. Neither does love.

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

You wonder how the hell it got to this point in the first place as you lay in Steve’s soft bed sheets. What feels like it should be a quiet moment of peace is juxtaposed with your current reality; Bucky pounding on the front door and you and Steve conspiring to think of some kind- any kind- of excuse.

You truly don’t understand how it got to this.

It all feels like it started so long ago. You didn’t even know 6 years could feel so fast, much less pass so quickly. You look around at where you are now, at Steve, as you listen to the shaking of the front door against Bucky’s fist as he continues thumping away. Fuck. What if memories lie? Maybe it is that long ago.

6 Years Earlier...

“Babe, you ever had a night out in the city?” Bucky asked as you took off your gear.

Training was brutal and everyone was looking for a way to relieve stress. You knew The Avengers were all planning to meet up at some club downtown, but you had other plans.

“I have, and as much fun as it can be, I have other plans,” you laugh as you take your hair out of the tightest ponytail you’d ever had it in.

“Oh? What are you getting into?” Natasha laughs, making her way over with Bruce holding onto her as if he’d lose her.

“My friend’s band is playing tonight. I promised her I’d go if we finished up early enough.”

“Oh, this I gotta see!” Bruce chimes in as you laugh and shake your head. “You never let us have a peak into your personal life!”

“God, I haven’t been to a show in forever,” Natasha chimes in with raised eyebrows.

He wasn’t wrong. You played everything so close to the chest; wanting to keep those you love and care for the most safe...wanting to keep yourself safe. Since none of them were relenting (not to mention they’re the damn Avengers), you finally agreed and told them to meet you outside of your room at the compound in about two hours.

“Is it too late for me to get in on this?” Steve asks just as the group was about to disperse.

“There you are!” Bucky interjects before anyone has a chance to say anything. “Y/N is giving us a peak into her personal life! We’re all meeting at her place in two hours and going from there,” he laughs patting his best friend on the back.

Steve looked at you with a cocked eyebrow and you just laugh and nod, giving him the ‘OK’ to tag along. Unbeknownst to the others, you and Steve hung out the most. No, he’d never been privy to your personal life, but you two spent a lot of time watching movies and listening to music together on the weekends. Occasionally, Bucky would get in on the action, but it was mainly you and Steve. You and Steve had a certain level of comfort that you didn’t have with the rest of them. It was more of an unspoken, private thing and that’s how the both of you preferred it. You both understood each other, and neither of you ever made the other feel sad or out of place for things that had gone wrong in each other’s past. You both had wounds you were still healing from, and you gave each other the space needed for that to happen.

You’d always had a thing for Steve. He kept himself at a distance, so it was difficult for you to tell if he ever felt the same. After a while, you’d stopped trying and just accepted him as a friend. He told you that he’d wanted to go back and stay with Peggy, but he was too afraid to leave Bucky on his own again, so he’d come back instead. He wasn’t even sure if Bucky would ever be okay with being alone; Steve just stayed without asking him. It seemed like the right thing to do, and he didn’t hate the current timeline too much.

Soon enough, everyone is in your small little complex, drinking and laughing as you put together the last bit of your outfit. The thought of Steve joining all of you had you more anxious than you cared to admit, so you chalked it up to the normal anxiety of inviting your work colleagues into your personal life.

Which was more than fair.

“I’m sure you look amazing, lets go! I’m too excited for this!” Natasha hollers as she makes her way into your bedroom.

“Nat!”

“Oh, they’re all in there drinking away! You’re fine,” she laughs, closing the door behind her. “Well shit!”

“I swear to God, I’ll change right now!”

“No! You look amazing!” she promised as her hands covered her mouth. “None of us have ever seen you out of work clothes, and babe...you look amazing,” she laughs in shock.

“Should I change? I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea-”

“If you’re comfortable, who cares. No one wants to interfere with your personal life. I think we’re all more afraid of pushing you away,” she laughs.

“You really think it’s okay?”

“I mean, I think you’re hot as fuck,” she laughed as you rolled your eyes, “but I think you look amazing.”

“You sure?”

“Get enough alcohol in them , they won’t even notice when you leave for the bathroom,” she laughed.

Even though you laughed along with her, you knew better. James Buchanan Barnes kept his attention on you��almost as well as Steve, but you never thought anything of it. It always had a more platonic feeling than with Steve, almost more familial.

When you came out, Steve was the first to look at you. His mouth slightly agape was enough to make you wanna go back, but Bucky was quick to chime in-

“Someone is ready for a night out,” he laughed.

That’s all it took.

Soon enough, you were taking shots and laughing with everyone else. Even Pepper and Tony were excited and joined you all. Your life was something so foreign to them, and you could tell that they all felt extremely excited that you trusted them enough.

In all honesty, you felt more comfortable because Steve was there. You knew he’d never let anything happen to you, and you’d never let anything happen to him. If you were being completely honest, you’d only wanted to invite him out. How it spiraled, you’re still not sure but it did. It The only thing that felt off was letting him see you dressed as you were. It was weird for all of them to see you dressed as you were, but Steve couldn’t take his eyes off you.

You were in red plaid crop top, with tight fighting black jeans that hugged your hips in just the right way, and black low top heels. You put your hair in loose curls, and finished it off with eyeliner and mascara. After a brutal day of training, you really didn’t wanna spend forever doing your makeup, because you knew you’d wanna come home after everything was over and go right back to sleep. Yeah, everything was hugging your body in just the right way, but you weren’t about to change.

You were introducing them to your life.

Before you all left, Thor filled three flasks with his mead from Asgard for himself, Steve, and Bucky and you laughed pretty damn hard.

“We wanna enjoy this night too,” he winked at you as you rolled your eyes.

The walk was easy enough, but it felt like it took forever. People kept asking for pictures with the OG Avengers, they had a million questions, and of course they were all happy to be as kind as possible. It’s not that you minded all that much, but you really missed your best friend. Work had been kicking your ass, she had been extremely busy, and was in the middle of planning her wedding. Nights off were extremely rare, but actually getting to see her and her friends perform? It had been forever.

“You made it!” she squealed once you were finally inside the club with everyone, almost knocking you over with how hard she hugged you.

“I told you I’d show! Even if I would’ve only caught the last song,” you laughed as you hugged her back just as tight. “We still on for drinks after?”

“Fuck yes! Your tits look amazing in this top, we’re definitely getting free drinks out of it,” she beamed with a wink and you burst out laughing. “Okay, I’ve seen all of you on TV, but I still wanna officially meet everyone,” she smiled at everyone. “I’m Meg.”

As everyone went around introduced themselves, you made your way to the bar, to grab your signature Jack and Coke.

“Hell yes! You made it!” Meg’s finance, Paul, beamed as he made your drink.

“Why is everyone so shocked that I’m here?!”

“You haven’t been to a show in years!”

“Blah, blah, blah,” you muttered as you reached behind the bar and grabbed his pack of cigarettes.

“You bring the Avengers with you and you dare to steal from me?” he sneered sarcastically as he handed you your drink.

You laughed as you reached across the bar and kissed his cheek, “I’m sure our friendship will survive it.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Dude, I had no idea the place would be so packed tonight.”

“I have a feeling everyone here had a long ass Friday.” “Yeah, well they better treat my baby right.” “You two!”

He rolled his eyes as he flipped you off, “enjoy the show!”

“Thank you, Paaauuullll,” you sang out as everyone joined you.

You looked up to see Steve staring at you intently, and he quickly turned towards the stage when he realized he was caught. Before you could allow yourself to think on it or feel flattered, you heard your best friend yell from the stage as she started to make her guitar scream.

“We’re ‘Flowers of Cinnamon’, and thanks for spending your Friday night with us!”

From that moment on, you were barely paying attention to your surroundings. With the exception of your drink, you didn’t focus on anything other than your best friend rocking the fuck out. It had always just been a hobby for her, but she had always been so damn good at it. You envied how effortlessly performing came to her. The band was a cross between Paramore, The Bangles, and All Time Low, and they were just as amazing as you remembered. You wouldn’t have been able to stay still even if you’d wanted to. You sang and danced along to every song, bouncing around, and screaming your head off. You had no clue that Steve had been watching you with the biggest grin on his face, Bucky had been watching your chest bounce up and down, or that Tony had been recording your reaction to your best friend’s music, smiling so hard at your happiness.

Every other song, your best friend made eye contact with you and laughed, and nothing else seemed to matter. Thinking back on it, you wished it had, because maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so fucked up, but you were just so damn happy. The more drinks got, the more you danced and sang around, finally feeling comfortable and happy, even with your new set of friends watching you.

“Okay, this is gonna be our last song for the night,” Meg smiled into the microphone and she laughed at amount of “boos” they received. “Listen, I wanna get fucked up too!” she joked, gaining laughs from the crowd. “Okay, so tonight is extremely special because my best friend on the entire planet is here and brought her friends with her! Thanks babe! So, our last song is gonna be a cover of one of her favorite songs ever,” she winked at you as you cocked an eyebrow.

As soon as you heard the first cord of ‘Decoy’ by Paramore hum out of the speakers, you screamed so loud that everyone in your group (and Paul) started laughing.

‘Close your eyes and make believe that this is where you wanna be

Forgetting all the memories, try to forget love cause love’s forgotten me

Well hey, hey baby, it’s never too late

Pretty soon you won’t remember a thing

All I’ll be distant, the stars reminiscing

Your heart’s been wasted on me’

You sang along so effortlessly as you started to jump up and down.

‘You’ve never been so used as I’m using you, abusing you

My little decoy

Don’t look so blue, you should’ve seen right through

I’m using you, my little decoy

My little decoy’

You linked arms with Nat, who clearly didn’t know the song, but was more than happy to sing and dance along with you. You glanced around and it made you so happy to see everyone else happy and having a good time. It’s not like you were a stick in the mud at work but, you never let loose. Even when it came to holiday and birthday parties, you were pretty damn reserved. The only person who can claim that they’ve seen you fucked up is Steve, and even then it was just you being wine drunk on the sofa while you two listened to albums and discussed work.

No, this was you letting lose and everyone accepting it. Accepting you. You looked over at Steve and he a look of pure love and adoration in his eyes, and it made your heart swell.

God, you wished you would’ve paid more attention to the way both he and Bucky looked at you that night, but you were just so damn happy and having so much fun.

If you could turn back time...

“Am I still okay at singing?” Meg asked once she finally made her way over to all of you.

“Dude, you’re still fucking amazing!” you beamed as you wrapped her in a tight hug and she laughed. “That was so good! Thank you for playing ‘Decoy’, almost making me cry!”

“Aha!” she teased before she looked at everyone else. “What about Earth’s mightiest heroes? Were you all able to tolerate it?”

“That was amazing,” Tony laughed, Pepper nodding in agreement.

“Why don’t you do this full time?” Nat asked as you waived Paul down and got another drink for both you and Meg.

“If I did this full time, I’d be so stressed all the damn time,” Meg laughed, “I’m much happier painting.”

“What do you paint? Do you have a studio?” Clint inquired and a smile came to your face.

Things were going better than you could have ever imagined.

As everyone got acquainted, you snuck to have a smoke. A few moments later, a smile came to your face when you saw Steve come out after you.

“You said you’re quitting those,” he nodded towards the cigarette in your hand.

“I stole Paul’s,” you laughed, standing a little further from him so as to not get the smoke in his face.

“I can handle it,” he laughed as he placed his black leather jacket on you. “You’re pretty...exposed and I don’t want you getting cold.”

“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest man?” you teased before you inhaled your cancer stick. “Who else knows about this? I’ll call the ‘New York Times’” He snickered as he shook his head, “quiet you.”

“Are you having fun tonight?”

“I am, I like you seeing like this.”

You scoffed, “crazy?” “Happy...content. Secure.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, and the look he gave you along with it, had butterflies appearing in your stomach.

“We should get back inside,” you smiled at up at him as you ashed the last of your cigarette and threw it in the nearby trash bin.

And maybe that’s when it started.

You just missed all the signs that night, because you were convinced Steve didn’t want you.

He convinced you he didn’t want you.

When the two of you got back inside, Paul had just finished up his shift and the guys had finished helping Meg back up her equipment which she had decided to lock up in the manager’s office for the night.

“Dancing! We need dancing!” she whined once her eyes landed on you.

“Hell yeah we do,” you laughed as you linked arms with both her and Nat.

Once again, you didn’t notice the way Bucky ogled you or the way Steve kept a close eye on you. When you all reached the next bar, you instantly ordered more drinks and pulled Nat and Meg onto the dance floor with you, still wearing Steve’s coat. He leaned against the bar, talking with Tony and Pepper, but still kept an eye on you. As Janet Jackson’s voiced filled the giant building, you danced around with the biggest smile on your face (at some point Meg had put her sunglasses on your face), smiling and waiving at Bucky when you saw his eyes glued to you.

Well, glues to your ass.

By the time everyone was ready to call it a night, you were drunk as shit.

“You’re not coming back to the compound?” Nat asked as she stumbled out after you.

“Nah, I wanna sleep in my own space tonight. It’s closer,” you giggled as you started giving out hugs.

“I can take you,” Bucky offered with a slick grin.

“I can take her, she’s on the way to my house,” Steve countered, and Meg cocked an eyebrow at you.

You just started dancing and walking.

“Goodnight everyone! Get home safe! I love you all!”

You were drunk, tired, and in no mood to figure out whatever that was about. You just wanted to go home and get in your bed. You honestly don’t know why you didn’t go back to the compound that night, but it just felt right to go to your own home. You already spent so little time there to begin with. A few moments later, you heard the hurried footsteps of someone behind you, but you kept looking ahead.

“You’re impatient when you’re drunk,” Steve laughed as he came up beside you.

A small smile came to your face at the fact that Steve was the one to walk you home.

You giggled as you leaned into him, “my feet hurt.”

No sooner than you said it, he scooped you up.

“Steve!”

“You weigh nothing, don’t worry about it, darlin.” “It’s a 30 minute walk!”

“I’m very well aware of where your apartment is.” “Steve-”

“Hush.”

You pouted but did as you were told, leaned into him, and took in the scent that was all his own. Something between woodsy and fresh cut grass. In your drunken state, he felt like home.

“Why didn’t you want Bucky to take me home?” you asked after a few moments, not missing the way he stiffened a bit.

“He’s a little buzzed and he gets a little handsy and flirty at times. I didn’t want him to bother you.” You giggled as you took in more of his scent, “you’re literally carrying me, Steve.” “You said your feet hurt.” “Are you a little buzzed?”

“I definitely don’t feel sober,” he chuckled softly and you softly sighed at the comfort of rumble in his chest.

“Do you wanna sleepover?”

“I’ll order a car service once I drop you off.”

“Why not order one now?”

“It was weird...everyone hanging out tonight. I feel like we haven’t hung out alone together in a while.” “Then why not sleepover?”

“Cause I should go home. I don’t wanna accidentally wake you up or something. You worked hard today and you need rest.” “So did you.” “Y/N.” “You’re so weird sometimes, Steve,” you huffed as you laced your hand with his.

“What are you doing?”

“Holding your hand like I’ve done a million times before. What’s wrong?” “Nothing.”

You rolled your eyes and mumbled, “alright weirdo.” “I’m not being weird.”

“You’re not being normal.”

He let out a frustrated huff, “did you have fun tonight?”

“So much fun, I’m so happy you came out.”

“I’ve missed you, darlin.” “I’ve missed you too. Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“Sleepover.”

“Y/N-” “See? You are being weird. You’ve slept over my place a ton before, in my bed, and it wasn’t weird. What’s so different about tonight?”

He muttered, “so many things.” “Like what?”

“It’s just been a long night.”

“Fine, whatever. Go home, see if I give a fuck.” “Hey!”

“You’re being weird and you won’t tell me why. You know I hate when you do that shit.”

“I just think I should sleep in my own bed, darlin’. I’m not trying to be weird or make you upset.”

He sounded so strained and you couldn’t read his facial expression, so you couldn’t see how torn up he was. You couldn’t tell how much he was at war with himself.

You couldn’t tell how much he wanted you.

He chuckled when you didn’t say anything, “don’t get quiet on me now.”

“Can you at least stay until I fall asleep? It won’t take long.” “Everything okay, darlin’?”

“Yeah Steve, I just miss you,” you confessed softly.

“We’ll do a sleepover tomorrow, alright? We’ll have it at my house.” “Fine.” “Don’t be upset.” “I don’t care.” “You’re also a giant brat when you’re drunk.” “You’re saying that you miss me, but won’t spend time with me!”

God, you sounded like a brat to your own ears. That was a huge part as to why you’d never let him see you so inebriated. It’s why you never wanted anyone from The Avengers (or S.H.I.E.L.D for that matter) to see you so drunk. It became harder for you to suppress your feelings for Steve, and he’s all you wanted when you were drunk. For reasons unknown to you (at the time), Steve wanted to go home. That should’ve been enough, but your drunk wanted to hold him all night.

You were going out of your way to start an argument.

He let out a heavy sigh as he reached your complex, “I’ll stay-”

“Don’t do me any fucking favors-” “Will stop arguing with me? And stop with swearing, you know I hate it.” “Well maybe I hate you.”

He scoffed hard at that, “no you don’t.”

“You don’t know that-”

“Yes I do, so stop saying it. I’ll stay, okay?”

“And you’ll sleep next to me?”

“Yes darlin’, I will sleep next to you.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his neck and you felt his grip on you get tighter, “thank you, Steve!”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

That night, he was good to his word and slept next to you, letting use his chest as a pillow and you were asleep almost instantly. The next day, he was back to normal and you didn’t think anything of his behavior from the previous night. You had no reason to. However, from that day on, things did slowly start to change more.

It started with Bucky coming around more, especially when Steve was with you. You couldn’t sense it, because has always been entirely too good at hiding his emotions, but he slowly became frustrated. So much that he basically stopped coming around all together.

“Hey, are you busy?” you asked timidly as you approached his office one day.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” “Oh...okay then-”

“What’s wrong?”

“No, you’re busy and I don’t wanna take up your time...”

You could feel your eyes welling up and didn’t know why. Steve always had a way of making you so damn soft and vulnerable, and you truly hated it.

You still hate it.

“Darlin’-” “Please stop calling me that. The guy who started calling me that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. If he does, he’s making sure to stay away from me.”

“He still exists-” “Then what’s going on? Why are you staying away from me?”

He sighed as he threw down his pen, “nothing-”

“Alright, if you’re just gonna lie to me-” “I’m not lying!”

“Steve, you saw me walking with Bucky yesterday and literally turned in the other direction and walked away.” “You guys are just hanging out a lot now and I don’t wanna third wheel-” “You wouldn’t third wheeling! We’re just friends!”

“Y/N...” “Steve, why are you just abandoning me? You’re the one I’m closest to and you know that. You’ve always known that,” you sobbed as you closed the door behind you.

“Please don’t cry-” “Then why are you abandoning me?! What did I do wrong?!”

“Nothing-”

“Then what the fuck?! You’ve been acting so strange, but you’re saying I haven’t done anything! If I didn’t do anything, what the fuck is going on with you?!”

He let out another frustrated sigh and just stared at you, clearly at war with himself.

“Fuck this and fuck you, I give up,” you sobbed as you dried your eyes.

“Darlin’”

“Stop calling me that! I’m just Y/N and you’re just Steve. I can’t do this with you anymore!”

After you stormed out, things only got worse, because you’d never felt so low and alone in your life. Unless it had to do with a mission or training, you barely even looked his way. The farther you got away from Steve, the more Bucky swooped in. In fact, the more you look at how everything happened, you realize that things wouldn’t have gotten so bad if you’d just shut things down with the both of them.

However, it’s not as if thinking with a broken heart ever lead to a good thing.

You cried a lot and Bucky was just there for you. He was sweet, he listened, and let you keep your secrets. Sure, he asked what happened between you and Steve (everyone was), but he dropped it when you told him you wouldn’t be talking about it.

You can’t explain what you don’t know.

“Hey doll, we’re goin’ out tonight. You wanna come? Invite Meg!” Bucky asked one night after you let him in your apartment on the compound.

“Nah, I’ve got a hot date with a black and white French film and a few glasses of wine,” you smiled weakly.

“You can’t stay in here forever.”

“I don’t. Sometimes I go home.” “Babe-”

“I just wanna stay in, Buck,” you sighed as someone else knocked on your door. “I guess I’m just the most popular girl in the world.”

When you opened it the second time, Steve stood there looking just as upset as you felt. Instead of even trying to attempt to hear him out, a rage flared up inside you and you had to force yourself to not shove him. As far as you were concerned, he had a lot of fucking nerve to show up at your place after all the shit that happened in his office.

“What?”

“I wanted to know if you’re coming out tonight-”

“No.”

“Well, can I come in and we can talk? I know I owe you an explanation-”

“I don’t want an explanation anymore, Steve,” you lied harshly, “I just want you to leave me alone. I stood in your office and cried like a fucking dumbass...that was a month ago. Now you wanna talk? Just leave things as they are.”

You truly wish you hadn’t spoken out of anger because none of it was true. You cried over him whenever you were alone, you missed hanging out with him, you missed falling asleep next to him...you missed Steve. Your Steve.

You’ve always been a hot head.

“Darlin-” “What have I told you about that?” “Y/N, just give me a few minutes-”

“No, go away. Unless it has to do with work, we don’t have anything to talk about.” “You don’t mean that,” he more pleaded than told you.

“I’ve never meant it more!”

“Y/N-”

Bucky sighed as he came up behind you, “she just needs to cool off, Pal.”

If you hadn’t been so upset and hurt you would’ve laughed at how wide Steve’s eyes got.

“We’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“I thought you were coming out. It was your idea in the first damn place,” Steve snapped.

“I don’t wanna leave Y/N while she’s this upset. She shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but all that happened was he clenched his jaw and looked away before he stormed off, punching the wall on his way out.

You should’ve spoken to him. You should’ve gone after him. Instead you pushed past Bucky and made yourself your first glass of wine of the night.

“Babe-”

“Buck, if you’re gonna stay here tonight, please no lectures. I just wanna be upset, okay?”

He just nodded solemnly, “I get it. No lectures, just drinks and weird French movies,” he smirked and you quietly laughed.

Here’s the thing: it’s not that you never found Bucky attractive, you just never thought about him. You were always thinking about Steve. However, at that time, thinking about Steve brought you too much pain and you didn’t want to feel anymore pain for a while. You just wanted to feel numb. You’d rather have nothing, the void, than hold onto the pain Steve’s brought on.

You rested your legs on him when he sat next to you, not thinking anything of it. When he started stroking your leg after the third glass of wine, you still didn’t think anything of it. You only started to pick up on his actions when he squeezed your thigh a little.

“Buck?”

“Yeah doll?” “What are you doing?”

“Trying to help you relax and feel better.”

“Buck-”

“I’ve never seen you this upset, babe. I just wanna help.”

The thought and the offer were tempting. You couldn’t remember the last time you had gotten off to something other than your vibrator. Of course you’d made subtle advances towards Steve, but he’d clearly turned you down. Plus, the women around the compound did talk. While Bucky had a reputation for being a skirt chaser, he also had a reputation for wearing women out in the best way.

It’s not like you were looking for anything. You just wanted to forget for awhile.

He tested the waters a bit more by sliding his hand further up your leg, waiting to see how you’d respond.

You placed your wine glass on the ground and opened your legs for him a bit, “you just wanna make me feel better?”

“So fuckin’ good, doll,” he husked, as he reached between your legs and easily ripped your panties off, “just lay back and enjoy, baby.”

His movements were slow, but his kisses were desperate. It felt good, but off. Not to mention you felt more guilty with every kiss he gave you, like you were betraying Steve.

‘Fuck Steve,’ you told yourself mentally, ‘he had his chance and he clearly didn’t want it.’

You closed your eyes in a vain attempt to shut out any thoughts of Steve, but that only made his face come to mind. You let out a sound between a moan and a frustrated grunt as you pulled Bucky’s hair.

“Please!”

“Tell me how bad you want it,” he smirked, his hot breath lapped at your pussy.

“So fucking bad, please! Need it!”

“Love seeing you like this,” he cooed, before he dipped down and dove in and his lewd moans filled the room.

This was the moment Bucky became your “decoy”. You didn’t want him in the same way he wanted you, but part of you felt like he didn’t actually give a shit. Since he’d lost Nat to Bruce, Bucky wasn’t ever really looking for a relationship. He liked to play around, entertain a woman (or two) for a few months, then he’d move on. As far as you were concerned, that night was only supposed to be a one time thing.

“F-fuck!” you moaned, doing your best to be in the moment as you lulled your head back while he fucked you with his tongue and massaged your clit with his thumb. “Feels so good, Buck!”

You weren’t lying completely. It’s not as if Bucky was bad at eating you out, he just wasn’t the one you wanted doing it.

You felt him smirk against your folds, and started to grind your pussy against his face, forcing yourself to focus on all the pleasure you felt instead of everything else.

‘Steve doesn’t want you. Steve doesn’t want you. Stop thinking about Steve!’ you told yourself mentally.

When he switched up and started sucking on your clit, he easily pressed two fingers into your soaked folds. You felt the knot in your core tighten and snap.

“FUCK!” you cried out as you came hard and a few tears escaped your eyes.

You hated how the tears weren’t from pleasure, but you masked it well enough as he fucked you through your high.

“Take off that fuckin’ shirt, baby. Let me fuckin’ see you,” he husked as he took off his own shirt and started to undo his jeans.

You were quick to do as he said, taking all of him as you ignored how uncomfortable you felt being so bare beneath him as his mouth glistened with your juices.

You were doing this to feel better, so why weren’t you feeling any better?

“Waited so fuckin’ long, baby,” he groaned as he dipped down and worshiped each of your breasts while his thumb made little circles on your clit.

“Bucky!”

“I know baby, I’m gonna take care of you, gonna take such good care of you,” he moaned before you felt his tongue on the side of your neck, licking up little beads of sweat.

You took a deep breath and told yourself you wanted it as you felt him at your entrance. You wanted Bucky. You just needed to let yourself relax.

“Jesus, you’re fuckin’ tight!” he grunted as he pushed into you.

“Oh fuck!”

“I know you can take me, baby! Your wet little pussy is squeezing me so tight, baby!” “Please don’t stop,” you whimpered as you wrapped a leg around his waist, trying to hang on to him as he fucked into you hard and fast.

You wanted this. You agreed to this.

He pushed himself up with his metal arm and looked down at you adoringly, “wanted you for so long, doll. Waited for...ah fuck!”

To avoid feeling anymore guilt, you wrapped an arm around him to pull him close and kissed him passionately, moaning into his mouth when you felt him fill you to the brim. He rode out both your highs before he rested his forehead against yours.

“So good, baby. You tired?” he asked, breath still coming heavy.

You just closed your eyes and shook your head no.

“Good girl.”

Bucky kept at it for a while, not feeling any real pleasure until he brought you off (which you had to fake half the time). There was nothing wrong with him. You found him attractive, and you knew that he wanted you, but it just wasn’t what you wanted. All of it felt so hollow and emotionless on your end. You felt like you were acting and Bucky was working his ass off to please you; to make matters worse, your phone kept going off and you knew who it was.

Steve would’ve hated you if he knew what you were doing and who with, but a part of you felt like he already did. When you both were done, Bucky was a gentleman. He pulled your shirt over your head, carried you to bed, and held you close until you both fell asleep.

You didn’t cry until the next day when you woke up alone in an empty apartment. You ignored calls from both Bucky and Steve, and eventually Bucky was the only one texting you.

Something in you knew that Bucky had confirmed his suspicions, and you just knew he was furious. You and Steve both knew Bucky wasn’t a bad guy, he was just a player and Steve never wanted that for you.

Eventually you cracked and called Meg, and cried while you told her everything.

“Well...fuck,” she muttered once you finally got everything out. “Are you sure Steve knows?”

“His calls and texts were incessant until they weren’t. He hasn’t done either in the last 3 hours.”

“Oh yeah no, he definitely fucking knows. Bucky?”

“Bucky went from every 30 minutes to every other hour.”

“Well, what’s wrong with him?” “Nothing...”

“Except?”

“He’s not Steve.”

“Yeah, but Steve passed up on you, and he was kind of a dick about it. He waited a month until after the office situation? You’ve been showing him your available for how many years? I know you love him, but-”

“I don’t love him.”

“Yeah, cause that’s you’re crying to me about him instead of the skirt chaser that fucked your brains out?”

“Meg.”

“I’m not being insensitive, I’m being honest. Bucky was there last night, clearly wanted you, was with you all night, and all you could think about was Steve. Today, even though Bucky is still texting you, you’re more upset that Steve isn’t because you know he knows. If I were you, I’d be more worried about the guy that’s used to fucking around breaking my heart, than the guy who isn’t,” she sighed.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Steve had his chance, I need to let him go. I’ve been in my room crying all day...I have to stop.”

“Can you?”

“I don’t have much of a choice do I?”

“Babe, if you could end up with Steve, I’d prefer that, but that’s not really an option. Even if he came back, he gave you the run around for a bit. Just focus on you for now and what you want. You always want to make others happy, and you need to focus on you.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right.”

“Do you need me to come over?”

“No, being alone is good for me right now.”

“Alright, I love you, Y/N. It’s gonna be okay.”

You let out a heavy sigh as you sobbed, “I love you,” and hung up.

You ignored Bucky for the rest of the day, feeling guilty about it, but knowing it was for the best. You’d done enough wrong and you truly did need to focus on you and what you wanted.

However, before you fell asleep, you broke down and checked all your texts from Steve.

O Captain, My Captain: Darlin, please just talk to me. I’m so sorry.

O Captain, My Captain: I’m not going out tonight, please just answer me.

O Captain, My Captain: Don’t do anything with Bucky. He’s my best friend, but he’s not worthy of you. He won’t treat you right and you know that.

O Captain, My Captain: Please just answer me.

O Captain, My Captain: If I could take back my actions, I would. I’m so sorry. If you’d just talk to me, I’d be able to make you understand.

O Captain, My Captain: Please talk to me. I miss you so much.

O Captain, My Captain: I’m going to sleep, but give me a call whenever.

O Captain, My Captain: Seriously? All night and you’re still not talking to me?

O Captain, My Captain: Baby, please just talk to me. We’ve never gone this long without talking, and I fucking hate it.

O Captain, My Captain: Y/N...please.

O Captain, My Captain: Bucky just left. You’ve made yourself loud and clear, and fine. I got it.

O Captain, My Captain: Do whatever the fuck you want.

When you woke up the following day, you had the biggest headache from crying, and the last thing you felt like doing was facing either of them. You had a job to do though, and criminals didn’t stop being criminals just because you had a broken heart. Even though you were slower to dress than usual, you were still on time for training, and God, it was brutal.

Bucky kept looking at you, Steve wouldn’t even look your way, and you couldn’t focus. You’d never had a day so bad, and all you wanted was to crawl back into bed. During the meeting after, you just leaned against the wall, barely listening to anything Nick had to say. The one time you bothered to look up, you looked over at Steve and was glaring at you.

God, you really fucking hated yourself.

“Doll, wait up!” Bucky called after you once the meeting was over.

You’d practically run out of the room.

“Bucky, I really just want-”

“What did I do wrong?” he breathed once he caught up to you. “Everything seemed fine on Saturday, I thought we both enjoyed it.”

You didn’t miss the way Steve quietly scoffed as he walked past the both of you.

“Bucky, I just-”

“Did I hurt you? What...I really like you, Y/N. I have for a while and I just...was I too eager?”

You honestly hadn’t expected that.

“Wait...what?”

“I never said anything, because I thought you and Steve had a thing going, but that’s clearly not happening. You were just so upset on Saturday and I wanted to make you happy, and I’ve wanted you for so long...what did I do?”

Trash. You felt like absolute trash.

“I need to get to my room.” “Y/N-”

“Just...I’ll talk to you later, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I just have a lot going on in my head. I just need to be by myself for a while.”

“Please just-”

“I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m sorry.”

You can read the rest here.

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crazyunsexycool · 2 years ago

Text

My little love

Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

Warning: mentions of death, implied child abuse, slow burns, idiots in love- if i forgot something please let me know.

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: AAAHHHHH!!!!! so here is chapter one to this new series. It really wasn’t my intention to start this series yet but when inspiration hits you just gotta go with it. Permanent and series tag list open

Series Masterlist

The hydra detention center had been the biggest the Avengers had come across. The area you were in was a prison block. There were three floors of cells and it was currently crawling with Shield agents. It was clear from the moment the team entered that the place was used to keep their ‘experiments’. It was too easy to identify prisoners from hydra scum. Anyone would be sick to their stomach just seeing the filth all of the detainees were being kept in. Most of them seemed to have been used and abused beyond reason.

The crackling sound of your earpiece gave way to the voices of your team and friends. They each checked in as they cleared the area they had been assigned. Although you were enhanced and trained for combat, your main job was to be the team’s on site medic. So many times during missions you would be the one running from one place to another. Currently you were standing in a cell checking in on someone.

“They’re gone.” You say to Steve as you hear him approach the cell door.

“Let’s keep moving.”

You give a curt nod as you stand and start to walk out of the cell but Steve puts his hand up.

“If this gets to be too much for you, let me know.”

“I will Cap. Come on, we have a lot more cells to check.”

Steve moves his hand to his right ear and presses down on the earpiece. “Any updates?”

A chorus of all clears rings through but one voice is missing. You look up at Steve worriedly before the last person checks in.

“I found another lab in the basement. I really need a medic down here.”

“Y/L/N is headed your way Buck.” Steve says as he watches you jog toward the elevators.

The elevator doors slide open and you’re greeted by Bucky. The hallway is dimly lit but you can still see his panicked expression. He grabs your hand and pulls you down the hallway.

“I wasn’t sure what to do, I thought it would be better for you to take a look.” He says as you follow him into a viewing room. The huge windows are facing an operating room. In the center there’s a heart monitor that’s beeping steadily and all sorts of abandoned equipment. It seems that when the team stormed the facility they were in the middle of an experiment. But it wasn’t the place that gave you chills, it was the test subject.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“Most likely. That seems to be the only entrance.” Bucky points at a door at the other end of the room and you run towards it.

Bucky is right behind you. It feels like it takes ages for the first door to close and the second to open. Once it does you rush to the operating table and have your worst fears confirmed.

Unconscious on the table is a child. They look no older than two year old but considering how malnourished they look they could be older. You run over a few quick checks to make sure you’re able to move the baby.

“It’s a girl.” You say softly after lifting the sheet that covered the lower half of her body to check for other injuries.

Bucky stands by feeling angry and helpless. It was one thing to use and torture adults but what had this innocent life done to deserve such treatment. It took you calling his name a few times before he snapped out of it. You ask him to relay information for what you’ll need once you’re on the jet and begin to remove everything that had been attached to the child.

As carefully as you could, you wrap up the little girl in the sheet that had been covering her and then you take her in your arms. You look at Bucky and nod to let him know you’re ready. He leads the way back out to the viewing room and then to the hallway, his gun up and ready to fire if needed. Once you’re in the elevator you take a moment to look down at the child in your arms to make sure she’s still breathing.

“What could they want with her? She’s a baby.” Bucky asks, his back to you.

“Knowing hydra, a lot of things. I just hope we weren’t too late.”

“She’s in great hands I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

You can’t help the small smile that appears on your lips. The elevator doors open and Steve heads over to you. He opens his mouth to say something but the words are lost on the tip of his tongue when he sees the little bundle that you’re holding. You don’t wait for him to say anything, instead you rush past him and toward the main entrance where you see Bruce with the supplies you needed. The others kept their eyes on you as you rushed by, unaware of what’s happening.

“What’s going on Barnes?” Nat asked as she and some of the others approached the pair of super soldiers.

“Hydra was experimenting on a child, a little girl. Hopefully Y/N and Bruce can save her.”

You and Bruce rushed off of the jet and onto the medical area of the helicarrier. It was a fight against time to be able to stabilize your small patient. In a comfortable silence you both work alongside each other, only speaking when necessary.

There’s a small whimper that comes from the child and it stops you in your tracks. You look up at Bruce and he also stopped what he was doing.

“That’s good. She’s responsive, we still have a chance to save her, right?”

“Absolutely.” He responds with a hopeful smile.

For the next few hours you work together until you're able to keep her stable. Once you’re done you head out of the small room to find the rest of the team waiting. Bucky and Steve walk towards you first.

“How is she doing?”

“Bruce and I are confident that she’s going to pull through. She’s a fighter.”

“Told you she was in good hands.” Bucky says proudly, making you smile.

Steve stands beside you both and rolls his eyes, amused at how oblivious you both were. He clears his throat to get your attention.

“Do we know what they were testing on her?”

You shake your head. “No, we were stabilizing her. Once we are able to push some fluids and she’s able to stay stable for a longer period of time we’ll start doing an in-depth physical. Bruce is doing some x-rays and we’ll go from there.”

“Ok good, Tony is looking through the files to see what we find on her. Keep us updated.”

“Sure thing.” You watch as Steve informs the others before they disappear into other parts of the helicarrier.

“Do you need me to get you anything?”

Your eyes moved from the hallway back to Bucky. He looked tired but as handsome as ever as he stood there waiting for an answer.

“Yeah, if it’s not too much trouble could you get my go bag. I want to change out of this.” You motioned towards your uniform. “I wouldn’t want to scare her if she wakes up.”

“You got it. I’ll be right back.”

You returned back to the room where Bruce was busy reviewing something on the computer. When he heard your footsteps he turned.

“Come take a look at this.”

You come to stand beside him as he pulls up the scans he’d done while you were talking with the others. Bruce begins to point out multiple healed fractures on her arms, legs and ribs. As you both tried to figure out how old the fractures were there was a knock on the door. Bucky popped his head in and opened the door more once you waved him in.

“Here you go.” He hands you your bag and you excuse yourself to go change. Bucky takes a moment to look around the space before his eyes stop on the girl. “Do you know if she has a name?”

“Not yet, Tony’s looking through the files though. I’m going to meet up with him now. Can you let Y/N know?”

Bucky nods and Bruce excuses himself. He gets slightly closer to the stretcher, taking in the tiny body wrapped up in clean sheets. They had shaved her head, it was evident by the tiny scars on her scalp from where they used a razor. She was incredibly pale and malnourished. If he wanted to, Bucky could count her ribs.

He takes his gloves off and grabs one of her hands in his right one. Bucky smiled slightly at the huge difference in size. Although she wasn’t awake her little fingers wrapped around one of his. He was so focused on her that he didn’t hear you walk back in. You observed the scene before you with a small smile.

“Where’s Bruce?” You asked quietly.

“He went to meet up with Tony.”

You hum in acknowledgement as you grab the chair Bruce had been using and move it towards the stretcher, sitting down in the process. There were no words exchanged for a few minutes, just the two of you watching over the little girl.

“What’s going to happen to her?”

“I’m not sure. I’m going to talk with Fury and ask to keep her under my care until we’re at least able to determine what hydra was planning. After that I’m not sure.”

“Well if he objects I’m sure the team will back you up, myself included.”

“Good.” You smiled and you were about to say something else when Jarvis announced that you were a few minutes away from Shield’s headquarters. So you get up and start preparing some of the equipment and your little patient for transport.

When it was time to move Bruce and Steve appeared at the entrance of the room. Both men along with Bucky escorted you out and into a jet so that you could fly directly to the compound while the others handled the other people they had taken into custody.

It was turning into a long night. Once you’d set foot into the compound you were relieved to find that some of the nurses had been appointed to help you with your patient, Angel, as they had nicknamed her. One of them even had previous experience in working with kids. You weren’t surprised when you walked into the medbay room that had been assigned to her and found a crib along with the medical equipment needed for someone so small and other necessities such as diapers and clothes.

The nurses had insisted you go get some rest but you weren’t ready to leave Angel alone just yet. You took some time to clean her up and get her dressed. Jenna, one of the nurses, stepped in and helped with the diaper. After that you did finally go to your living quarters, took a shower, changed into some pajamas and finally took a nap.

About two hours later you wake up to the smell of food and you make your way out to your kitchen to find Bucky at the stove. He turns his head to look over his shoulder and smiles.

“I went by the medical wing and Jenna said you came to rest. Thought I’d make you some food.”

“Thanks,” you say as you sit on one of the barstools that line the kitchen island. There were two plates and coffee cups. “What is the chef preparing this evening?”

Bucky turns with the pan in one hand and a spatula in the other. “French toast. I know it’s your favorite. And some coffee because I’m pretty sure you’re going back down to see Angel.” He says as he places a few pieces on your plate and then a few on his. Then he moves to fill your coffee cup and sets some sugar and creamer. Finally he sits down next to you.

“Thank you.”

“You are very welcome.”

“Are the others back yet?”

He shakes his head. “Nat called to check in, said they were still dealing with all the detainees and Stark was in a meeting with Fury. Steve headed back there to join them.”

“Is it about the baby?”

“Yeah, but Steve said not to worry about it. He isn’t going to allow her to leave anytime soon.”

Hum as you flick your wrist, your fork and knife begin to work on cutting up your French toast while you add cream and sugar to your coffee. Bucky shakes his head while he chuckles.

“What’s so funny?”

“Your little party trick.”

“You’re just mad you can’t do it.” You say before taking a sip of your hot drink. Bucky hides his smirk behind his own coffee cup.

You both sit in silence as you start to eat. It’s easy for both of you, not needing to fill every single minute with conversation. Once in a while you look at Bucky out of the corner of your eye. It still amazes you that he felt so comfortable with you, how much he had changed from the first time he came to the compound. How at ease he was around you. Even after all he’d been through he had shown you that he could trust you and you trusted him too. It’s why you didn’t mind when he just came into your apartment and vice versa. There was nothing hidden between the two of you.

You stood and grabbed your now empty mug and plate, taking them to the sink.

“I’ll wash the dishes if you want to go down and check on her.”

“But you already made food.”

Bucky waved you off before walking towards the sink with his own dirty dishes. “I know you want to check on her, go. Really.”

You reached up and kissed his cheek before thanking him. He stood there with a pleased smile as he watched you go.

There wasn’t much for you to really do down in the medical wing. But you went anyway. Normally when you helped someone on the field, you would help get them on the jet and once you arrived at the compound you’d tell the medical team what happened and what you did so they knew what they were dealing with. Now you have a feeling that you’ll be spending a lot of time here, or at least as long as it takes for the sweet Angel to recover. The nurses had informed you that there was no change in her condition and she was still unconscious which was starting to worry you. But still you dragged a chair and sat by her crib. There wasn’t much to do but you wanted to keep an eye on her. You grabbed your phone and searched for fairytale stories, once you found one you liked you began to read to her.

Every once in a while there would be a small whine or whimper coming from the crib. In those instances you’d stop reading and stand up to get a better look at her. You’d grab her hand gently and tell her that it was ok that she was safe.

“And they all lived happily ever after. The end.” You finished softly and you looked up to the crib. A small gasp leaves your lips as you realize that not only is your patient awake but she’s looking right at you.

You get up slowly and you move to stand by the crib. She follows every move you make. The closer you get though her bottom lip begins to wobble and her eyes close.

“It’s ok sweet girl, I’m not going to hurt you.” You coo softly as you try to grab her hand. She flinches at your touch as she begins to cry. Without many options you carefully pick her up and bring her to your chest, letting her head rest over your heart. You do what you’ve seen your mom do with your younger siblings which is to sway slowly and hum a lullaby.

Once the crying dies down you turn your head to look at the baby in your arms and find her looking up at you. Stunning bright blue eyes. Eyes that you’ve looked into before. You move to the other side of the room and open a few drawers until you find a sealed off q-tip.

“Ok sweet Angel, I’m going to get a sample from you just to check something ok?” You said as you sat her on the counter. She wobbled a little before settling down, blinking slowly as she looked up at you. You rip open the package and take a sample of her saliva. When one of the nurses comes by to check in on both of you, you hand her over and head towards the lab.

With some help from Friday you manage to run the sample and compare it to everyone in the Avenger’s database. You sit back as the monitor mocks you by displaying the result you were almost sure you’d see.

Hydra’s newest test subject was Bucky Barnes’ daughter.

Ch. 2

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sp00kymulderr · 1 year ago

Text

part 3 - Afterburn

series masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x afab reader (no pronouns)

Warnings: 18+, cursing, details of grief, survivors guilt, dealing with emotions badly, reader is dealing with death of a loved one, general sadness, kissing, m masturbation, premature ejaculation, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving). Please let me know if I missed any.

Word Count: 5.6k

Summary: “Do you remember what it’s like to be happy?”

A/N: I'm sorry it's taken so long to post. I'm really proud of this one. If you like it please please comment and/or reblog. To follow for fic updates only go to @sp00kyupdates or see taglist details on my masterlist. Credit to banner/divider maker.

Joel is not the same after you return from your short shower. Your packs are waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs as he stands by the door scanning the horizon, an impatient tut leaves him.

“We gotta go, you ready?” He grunts, not even bothering to look at you.

“Joel c’mon…” You respond, your voice a little hoarse.

“Just-” Joel snaps and then sighs, finishing the rest of the sentence in a slightly softer tone “Grab your stuff. Put on your boots”

He shoulders his pack and walks out the door, waiting on the porch. You mutter your frustration. He isn’t being fair and you’re pretty sure he knows it too. You want to understand why this is such a bad thing - the two of you - but he doesn’t seem to want to even acknowledge what happened.

You sit on the sagging couch and look once more around the old house. It’s always difficult to come to these places, but somehow it’s also difficult to leave them. Someone lived here, someone loved here, someone was happy here once – you hope at least. You look around the dusty living room once more and contemplate, as you always do. What has this place seen, what kind of people called it a home? What secrets does it keep?

Those thoughts bring you to your own home too, where you’d been until the outbreak. You’d never gone back but you’d often thought of returning, seeing if anything of your old life still existed. Since you’d lost your last connection to your past.

You shake your head and pull on the new boots lacing them tight, ready to put them to the test at least. Joel is waiting for you outside when you finally make your way to him and he’s already walking, apparently sure of the direction.

You follow in silence for a while. Your feet don’t hurt as bad as before and you’re grateful for that.

“Did you ever go home, Joel?” You ask eventually, hesitant.

“Huh?” he’s only half listening to you, looking around for any signs of imminent threat.

“You ever go back to your old home?”

“No” is all he says.

You leave it at that.

The last thing Joel wants to think about is home. Home is where his broken heart is. He’d never go back there, he’d pull the memory completely from his head if he could.

There’s a lot of memories he wishes he didn’t have to have.

And now he has a new one; his head feels so all over the place because of you and your lips, your warmth, the disquieting solace he found in you. He knows he shouldn’t punish you for any of it; for what happened, for how he feels, for how he doesn’t understand his feelings. But he’s already punishing himself for everything else that’s ever happened, so you’ll have to take the brunt of this mistake.

And it was a mistake, he knows that. You don’t want him the way you think you do. He’s sure of it. It’s not about anything more than forgetting for you, for finding some distraction from your pain. He knows it too well. He’s been there. He’s still there in a way but at least after all these years he knows better than to chase that feeling. He has to keep away, help you know better too.

“Keep up” He mutters as he looks back at you, and he knows he sounds harsh but he can’t stop himself.

That deceitful monster in him wants more. He feels it. He won’t give in to it.

When you were younger you used to run free and happy in the green garden outside your house. You would spend all your time outside, climbing trees, scaling rocks, swimming in the lake by the forest. You had a treehouse in the garden and you'd climb up to it every summer night and watch the world from up there, free and happy and something more.

Alive in more ways than just surviving.

She'd been with you even then, you'd share secrets and tell stories cuddled up in your sleeping bags in the treehouse at night together. You lived for those moments when you and your best friend would live in your own world and everything else was just background noise.

Now you're climbing trees and scaling rocks but not for the same reasons the innocent child of your past would. You have to scope out the land, find a good place to stop. Joel helps boost you up to a branch so you can climb, to check out some noise in the distance of the forest, and when you snag your shirt on a twig you have this pang of gut-wrenching muscle memory of that time she fell from the treehouse and you thought for a moment of blind panic that you'd lost her.

You hate that every single thing reminds you of her. You despise the memories for making you misty eyed and weak. The more Joel ignores you as the time goes on, the worse it gets. The more you remember, the more everything reminds you of your dead best friend and the lives you'd lost to this world of horrors. Your life next, you know. That’s all there is now.

Just you.

And Joel.

Joel, who was pulling away more and more with every passing second. His hesitant gaze on you lands regretful and forlorn.

Eventually up in the tree you're able to see far enough to know there's a camp of people further down the forest, so when you’re back down Joel decides on a detour that leads you both far in the opposite direction not wanting to take any risks. Your new boots are finally starting to rub after hours and hours of walking - nothing good lasts forever. You wonder if the person they belonged to before you ever got to wear them, if you shared the pain of blisters from the same shoes. If the people in that house used to go hiking in this vast forest every weekend. You wonder if they are dead now too, or just trying desperately to survive. Are they trying to make it back to their home, to find the memories they’d left behind?

You'd go home. You would. If you ever could. It's too far now, too dangerous and too much to ever think you could make it there. Besides, what would you do when you got there? Hope you had anything of yours left? Let yourself drown in the pain of distant memories, of things you knew you’d never get back? But there were things, all these trinkets you wanted to hold to your heart now you have nothing else. Photos; pictures printed and framed or posted on your walls with sticky tack since you were a teenager. Family and friends and pets and all the things you have lost. The things you’d never, ever get back.

The silence consumes you and you think you’d rather wallow in your grief and misery back at the place where you were once happy, instead of being here where your longing and guilt are driving you to insanity with every ticking second. You miss talking, you miss having a friend. She was everything you ever needed in life, she was the only thing that had made you happy in the years since the world ended. You need that, and you know Joel won’t give you any of the things you need. He doesn’t want to know you any more than he has now. You can’t see past his actions back at the house and he can’t see you in any way other than shamefully anymore.

You don’t even know what to say to him now. So you just walk, and ignore the aching and misery consuming you whole.

It’s a few hours later and your feet are starting to bleed through your socks, because all good things must come to an end in this empty horror of a world. Joel finally decides it’s time to stop and make camp. It’s getting dark after all and there’s the opportunity for cover while you’re still under the protection of the vast forest - you’re nearly at the edge now.

“This should work” he mutters more to himself than you as he looks over the spot you’ve stopped at.

He briefly glances at you and it’s nothing but it’s more than he’s given you in hours so it makes you feel a little glint of that spark from before again. What if you just kissed him again, the way he let you before? Would he stop you? You know he likely would, but it doesn’t stop you wanting to try.

Like he knows, he’s stepping further from you acting like he’s inspecting the site he’s picked. There’s nothing to inspect - it’s a patch of mossy forest floor with a large rock on one side and what looks like an ancient tree on the other. You watch him momentarily and feel that misery all over. Touch would solve it all. His touch would solve everything just like it did before. The darkness above the trees could hold a secret if he could just give you something, a tiny thing to keep your sadness at bay.

And yet you are both wordless as you set up the small camp; no fire - that would potentially draw attention and the woods are never an entirely safe place to be - just your sleeping bags set up with an arm's length between the two like he’s worried you’ll somehow get the wrong idea if he gives you even the possibility of touching him again.

“Here” He mutters when you’re both sitting down and you almost laugh with the ridiculousness of how hard he’s trying to not even give you his gaze anymore. He hands you some of the jerky that’s been wrapped in his pack for a while. It’s dry and hard.

“We got all that stuff from the house”

“Gonna split it, when we…” He mutters without finishing his sentence.

“Oh”

When we go our separate ways. That’s what he meant and he doesn’t have to say it. He’s gonna leave you. Leave you completely alone.

“You know where you’re gonna go?” Joel asks and maybe there’s the hint of guilt in his voice but more likely you’re imagining it.

Tears prick hot in your eyes and you try to blink them away. All this time you’d done so well at not letting him see you cry; the tears from your loss and your grief had only once fallen in his sight and now you were feeling them fall down your cheeks right in front of him all because he was finally sending you on your way.

Stupid. You’re so stupid. It was only ever temporary and he’d made it so clear he didn’t want anything from you. He was just doing a sad, lost person a momentary favor but you’d lost sight of that completely after these last couple days. The way he had kissed you…the way you know it would’ve gone further yesterday if there hadn’t been an interruption…but none of it means a thing in the wake of his words.

He’s looking at you now. Of course this would be the moment he finally decides to turn those beautiful eyes back on you - you can feel the weight of his gaze on your face and you want it to be dark and lustful like before but when you look over at him he’s frowning. You sniffle and clear your throat, and finally give him an answer.

“I- I want to go home” You say so sadly and his brow knits in confusion for a moment before he understands.

“You think that’s a good idea?” Joel sounds more judgemental than he probably means to. He’s still watching you, but he never addresses the tears that are silently falling from your sad eyes.

You shake your head and sigh. Chewing on the last of the jerky for a bit and it makes you feel sick. His gaze burns you now, like it’s melting through the cold of him ignoring you all day and scorching at your flesh. Why won’t he stop staring? Why suddenly is he so intent on giving you all this attention? Does he just pity you that much?

He’s still eating slowly when you lie down on your sleeping bag, staring up at the trees and the night sky just above them. You’d spent nights like this watching the stars before - your heart pangs at the memory and you feel bile rise up in your throat for a moment before you screw your eyes shut tight enough to see the dance of colourful light behind your lids.

“Do you remember what it’s like to be happy?” Your voice is a whisper, it shakes as you shove that memory back down.

You open your eyes and turn your head in time to see Joel's sudden pained look and the shake of his head. You can feel the misery around him like it’s an aura. That only makes your heart hurt more. Damn it, why does he have to make you feel more? It’s always those eyes; he can make himself as hard and distant as he wants but his beautiful brown eyes betray him every single time

“Yeah. Well, I do. I remember. I remember living” If it wasn’t clear you were crying before it’s obvious you are now, you sniffle and wipe tears that race from the corners of your eyes into your hair.

Joel remains quiet for a while after that. Perhaps he just doesn’t know what to say, or perhaps he’s trying not to comfort you. The trees above the two of you wave gently in a breeze that rushes quietly through the forest, and the stars above them shine like they always have - unchanged by the death of this world and the screaming of your souls. Between you and Joel there is a blanket of grief and despair and both of you seem to be wrapping yourselves tighter in it at every turn.

Eventually he clears his throat and there’s a slight shift in Joel’s body, angling more towards you. It makes you bolder - like before - and you reach your hand between your two sleeping bags. Just lay it there between the two of you.

“I don’t want to remember, Joel. Not right now. I just want to feel something else”

He rubs his watering eyes and sighs deeply. He is wavering, you can tell. He’s holding back but there’s the twitch of his hands as he looks at you lying there and he slowly reaches out - rough, calloused and warm hand encompassing yours slowly. He lets out a long breath.

“It’s not gonna help. I- I’m not gonna help you like you need. Nothing’s that simple. I should know…”

“You’re scared”

“Maybe” Joel shrugs.

His hand holds yours a little tighter. You’re still crying silent tears that glisten on your face in the starlight.

“Don’t you feel alone? Don’t you just feel so fucking alone all the time? Why do we have to feel alone, when we’re here together?” You’re actually pleading now. It’s pathetic really but you just need the incessant heartache to stop for even a moment.

Joel hums low and gives you a long stare. His eyes soften more. There’s a shred more sympathy than there has been and it’s enough for your body to ignite with that burning hope just like last time.

“Fuck” He mutters, and then “Come here” and he is letting go of your hand and laying on his side on the sleeping bag, it seems reluctant but he’s inviting you to him and you’re almost embarrassed when you move in a heartbeat and close that gap between you and him.

Your breath catches when you lie beside him on your side and his body curls around yours, his arm over you and he holds your hand again. He’s warm like a comforting blanket - it feels almost like he’s protecting you the way he holds you close. It’s the closest you’ve ever been; even when he’d kissed you, when he’d touched you he’d kept a distance. You had never gotten to feel all of his body against you like this. Only in your hopeless dreaming. His breath tickles on the back of your neck and the warmth of it lingers, his heart beating steady where his chest presses against your back. He lets out a nearly silent sigh that makes you think he’s feeling the same thing as you.

You are not alone.

For a while it’s nothing, and Joel starts to think you’re sleeping. Your breathing is steady just like his and those sweet little sighs could just be the slumber taking hold. You don’t move and he’s so afraid to make even the slightest change to the position lest he starts you on that downward spiral again.

He knows it’s a mistake. Such a big mistake to let you feel close to him. It is only going to make everything worse in the long run but your words ring so true in his mind - he has been so damn alone. Ever since…for too long. He’s been alone. You draw him in like a magnet; a strange and shameful comfort that he’s denied himself all these years.

Maybe it’ll be fine. Maybe it’ll just be this, nothing more and nothing less. No guilt. No attachment. Maybe you’ll leave willingly and he’ll never once think about this moment again and neither will you. Maybe.

He murmurs your name softly and buries his face against your neck. He just wants to feel. Something. It’s wrong. He’s leading you on. But he wants to escape his loneliness just as much as you want to escape your pain.

He hears the smallest moan escape you like a breath and it makes him tighten his arm around you a little, because it brings him back to what happened before. How he’d touched you, how he’d felt you. There’s a stirring in him at the memory. You both feel it.

Joel knows you’re not asleep now, your breathing is less steady and your hand squeezes his a little.

“Don’t let me feel alone” You murmur and fuck Joel wants to let that base part of himself take control all over again.

He hesitates but only for a second.

“I won’t”

And then he’s turning your head, and he’s kissing you.

There’s a moment of guilt that rises from your chest slowly, but it’s gone again the moment your lips meet his.

It's not like the first kiss. It's not even like the kisses in the kitchen when he'd pressed you up against the fridge and touched you. It's not like any kiss you've ever felt; it's urgent and desperate but not forceful or rough - there's a subtle tenderness behind it like he's really genuinely trying to give you that feeling of togetherness you crave so much.

It makes your mind go blank after a moment, when you feel his tongue and he’s asking for a permission which you grant without a moment of hesitation. It makes you forget where you are, who you are, what you've been through.

He's good at that. Making you forget.

He's good at it all.

He kisses you harder when you open your mouth to him and it turns from tender to intense. It becomes more. More and more of him and you and it's what you've thought about all day. Like he really wants you. You're still on your side with your head turned and him over you, your back pressed against his chest and his subtle shift of hips against your ass makes your breath hitch.

Oh, he wants you. And you want him.

And what else matters?

“Joel…” you whimper. Sickly sweet and full of urgency.

“Yeah, I know,” He says.

There’s something else there, something you don’t want to hear. Something he doesn’t want to share. He shakes it away in a moment of a blink. He’s well versed in brushing away those moments. You need to learn it from him.

“I know” He says again, and he kisses you once more. Your lips lock in a moment that fans the flames that have been burning all this time; these weeks the two of you have been traveling together, these moments you have been sharing that are more than just moments. He stokes the coals of your desire with his mouth on yours and then down, down. To your cheek, your jaw, he’s over you and pressing you on to your back half on the cold ground as his lips meet your neck and you keen in some kind of desperation to be alight with his touch again.

Your hands traverse the broad expanse of his chest, clinging to the rough fabric of his shirt as he kisses the spot right under your ear that makes your soul leave you for a moment.

“You won’t stop this time?” You ponder, looking for a promise

“No”.

Simple, straight. Joel. He needs it. You know it’s been a while, you can tell by the way his hot mouth latches on to your soft flesh as he ruts against you like he’s already chasing a release he’s waited too long for.

“Doesn’t mean anythin’, right?”

“Doesn’t mean anything,” you repeat.

He means it. Do you?

“Fuck” He groans, deep and guttural when your wandering hands reach lower. It’s all so urgent. There’s no moment for softness. It’s lustful and intentional and greedy. Teeth and nails and need. No moment to waste as your nimble fingers find the opening of his faded jeans and make their way inside.

He’s still exploring with demanding grunts of appreciation at the taste of your skin. He’d liked it before. He likes it more now, after the long day of toil. You’re intoxicating in all the ways he never knew how to resist.

You think he feels the same as you. It’s been so long. You can’t remember the last time you felt such intimate touch, before Joel. It’s more addicting now than it ever was back then as his fingertips dance with burning brushes against the skin under your shirt.

There are no memories. No pain. No distant threat. No trees. No breeze. No stars. Just him and you in this blank space you have created for yourselves - outside of time and reality. It is a kiss that takes away life, that takes away loneliness. His touch breathes hope into you that you’d only ever felt with…no. It’s just him and you and nothing else.

Just that.

Your fingers trace down, past where buttons are undone and the zipper is open. You touch him, a slight squeeze that makes his breath hitch so damn gorgeously you feel it in your core.

He’s big. God, he’s big and he’s hard and it’s for you. It’s for you.

He breathes out and grits his teeth as you feel him, he has to stop kissing you for a moment as you ease his pants down and free his hardened length from its confines. He’s not gonna tell you to stop. Neither of you are going to end this until it has to be ended, you know that when you look in his eyes and they are dazed with lust and desire that he’s been holding back for too long.

There’s no call for modesty here in this darkened patch of forest floor where the only sounds are the rustle of leaves and your panting breaths. He watches you with a knitted brow trying so goddamn hard to hold on to at least a bit of himself when you lewdly spit into your hand and wrap it around his thick length.

“Shit” Joel grits his teeth, pressing his forehead against your shoulder. He murmurs your name. It’s never sounded as good as it does when spoken by him like that. Your hand moves, thumb swiping his leaking tip to smear on him. He feels good in your hand, heavy and smooth and he’s already shaking.

“I…sweetheart, I can’t…”

“Yeah, you can” You shush him with your lips against his, oddly soft and caring in this moment of heady lust.

“No I mean it’s…fuck” Joel pants out, his voice a gruff whisper that tickles your skin and makes you clench “Haven’t had- I can’t fu-” words tumble from his lips to the side of your neck as he devolves into mumbles you can’t quite make out. He trembles and bites back a loud groan, before spilling warm and sticky onto your fingers.

“Sorry” He murmurs with heavy breath and it’s the sweetest fucking thing in the world from this man who has been pushing you away for what feels like eternity.

Ah, you make sense of the words now.

“Haven’t had anyone touch you in a while?” You say, biting your lip as you look at him - he takes your breath away as the moonlight catches on the glint of his eyes, the trickle of sweat down his brow. His eyes are big and brown and there’s an apology in them that you don’t need.

“It’s okay. It’s okay” You assure with a soft smile. You kiss him, a sweet peck on the lips which he returns with another. It feels almost too intimate and you know you’re falling to somewhere you can’t crawl out of.

For a beat there’s a silence; Joel zips his fly and is catching his breath after his release whilst you drag your lips from his and down to his chin then his jaw. Drowning in the scent and taste of him. He is like nothing you’ve ever known and you want to be devoured by his presence.

You’re making do with wiping your hand off on your trousers when he moves you, pressing you down on to your back fully. There’s a hunger in him. He is starved and he craves. You shiver at that; he can slip from one moment to another like a changeling. His demeanour seems to shift with the wind.

“Gonna make it up to you, darlin’” He whispers with a dark desire as he goes back to kissing your neck and his hand moves down your body and to the button of your pants. Your mind flashes back to before - the way he’d made you shake back in the house - and your cunt throbs with need for that again. For him to take away your mind and your breath and your sanity if he wants.

You need him in ways you cannot fathom.

“Oh god” You moan as he cups you through your underwear, mouth still attacking the curve where your neck meets your shoulder.

You’re ready to feel that way again. And you’re about to beg him not to tease you when he pulls his hand away and detaches from your neck.

“Joel” the whine is so needy you should be embarrassed but you’re not capable of feeling that at the moment.

He shushes you softly and finishes unfastening your jeans, as he kneels between your legs. And then he’s taking them off; your jeans and underwear pulled down to your ankles and off, tossed to the side. He’s a man on a mission, and he licks his lips as he nudges your legs apart further and looks down at you.

Fuck. You might come from the sight alone. God…is he going to…

Joels calloused hands slide up your thighs and to your lower stomach and he settles himself right between your spread legs. You can’t look at him down there like that.

“This okay?” He asks, holding on to your thigh with one large hand while the other slips up under your shirt to palm at your warm skin.

You have to let out a huffed laugh at that. It’s definitely okay. It’s more than okay.

“Mhm” You answer, lips pressed together and you look up at the stars instead of the beautiful man currently kissing your inner thigh. Before he had wanted nothing to do with you and now he seems to want everything with you, you’d have whiplash if your brain wasn’t slowly melting out of your ear at the feel of his lips dragging higher.

He’s taking it so. So slow. Palming your breast now and kissing the other thigh You’re going to combust and be left nothing but a pile of embers if he keeps this up. You need so deeply that it hurts.

You card your fingers through his hair. It’s surprisingly soft and the sensation adds to the tension in you. He grunts as you give a little tug, but you think he gets the message without you having to use your words, your words probably wouldn’t make sense in this moment.

“Oh!” you gasp.

Yes, he proves that he got the message loud and clear as he’s parting you with his tongue and licking a stripe that ends at your clit and makes your eyes roll back. He’s good.

He tastes you and moans deep at it. His tongue swipes again against your clit and your grip in his hair tightens a bit again but he doesn’t seem to mind or even notice as he explores and delves deeper. He swirls against your entrance, and then presses in for a moment and you’re going to lose it completely.

The noise of your whines and whimpers increase, a muffled cry against your hand as he moves up again and sucks against your clit with a softness which quickly becomes much more fervent when you respond well. You buck your hips against his face, so he holds one strong arm across you as he continues to alternate between using his tongue and his mouth to bring you closer.

Your mind is all but scrambled with the way you feel. You haven’t had anything like this in so long and he’s fulfilling needs you had almost forgotten you had. He’s not just giving you pleasure, he’s giving you back something you thought you’d lost. He’s making you feel on fire in every way possible; burning skin on burning skin, scorching heat between your legs and deep in your belly.

You're winding, tightening, as he continues. He delves a thick finger in to you and then another as he focuses his mouth on your sensitive bud, listening to the sounds of your heavy breath and knowing he’s doing right.

“Joel…Joel you’re…yes, like that…” You moan too loud, Joel grunts against you with a light slap to the thigh. Keep it down. Even now he’s aware, does he ever really let himself go fully?

Right, you’re out in the open. It feels like you’re in a world of just you and him…you have to try and keep some kind of sanity as he makes you see the stars behind your lids. It’s almost impossible, biting your lip to try and quiet yourself.

It’s…it’s incredible. The way his tongue moves. The crook of his fingers inside you. The pressure in you when he purses his lips around your clit. Your body is too hot, alive, more alive than you’ve felt in weeks. Too alive, all at once.

“Oh god…I’m…it’s….please…” babbles of incoherence which earn you a pinch to your skin, but he doesn’t let up on his ministrations. He doesn’t give you a chance to calm down.

Suddenly, your body ignites as the tight coil in your stomach snaps and it’s like there’s no yesterday, no tomorrow. You writhe, hips bucking, Joel holding you down and continuing until the very last moment of your orgasm. You’ve come before, of course, even if not with a partner in a while you’ve known this feeling many times and yet it’s like something you’ve never fully had before. He’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

Fuck, your eyes are shut tight as you ride out the waves. Little aftershocks that make your body shiver. You can feel him - a final kiss to your clit, another to your inner right thigh and then he’s raising up, moving away from you and you can hear him catching his own breath like he nearly drowned in you.

“Jesus” You groan, limp and a mess. He breathes out a quiet, pleased laugh and you finally open your eyes and try to adjust them to see his face again.

He’s looking at you. He’s all lines and splotches and coloured lights but he’s looking at you with something like a smile.

Everything is blurred.

The lines are blurred. What does it mean? What does that soft kiss he places against your lips now actually mean? You feel sluggish from the climax but somehow your mind is racing still despite it. The lines are so damn blurred and it’s going to make you crazy, it’s going to make you lose it all.

“Alright?” He asks softly as he helps you put on your underwear and jeans again. Where did all his uncaring gruffness go? When will it come back and how will you live when it does?

“y-yeah…I think…yeah” You mutter dumbly. “Joel, I-”

Whatever you were going to say is cut off. He lays beside you again, arm going right around you pulling you flush against his chest. Your heart won't stop racing.

“You still feel alone?” Joel whispers in a deep grumble against your ear. You can feel it come from his chest. You shudder helplessly.

You shake your head. There’s a feeling of exhaustion from the day's movement settling in and you succumb to it swiftly, resting your head down on him and letting your breathing match to his. Letting him take you over completely.

No, you’re not lonely.

This fate is worse than loneliness.

#Joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #pedro pascal character fiction #pedrostories #our house of flames #this is actually the longest fic I've written which is know is pathetic but uh wow go me #gideon writes

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withered-blossoms · 3 months ago

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Obey me scenario...

WARNING: this is a very long ramble so if y'all don't like rambles, skip this uhh post. Also it's quite self-indulgent. Actual ramble under the cut. Also this is not proofread so there may or may not be typos.

Where the MC goes by a different name depending on who they're introducing themself to.

Like for example, the MC obviously has a birth name right? (Like one assigned to them by their parents and is used by family and human classmates). But what if they chose to use a nickname/alternate name to introduce themself to future/current acquaintances?

Like if I were to use myself as an example, let's say that my "actual/parent assigned name" is Blossom. And so my human realm classmates and family call me "Blossom". But for online friends and acquaintances/friends I make in future, I go by "Bloss"? (It could also be because they don't speak my language and usually pronounce it slightly inaccurately which IS NOT their fault but it would make their lives easier to have them refer to me as "Bloss").

And MC gets so used to using their "other/nickname" that when they get kidnap transported into the Devildom and they gotta state their name, by habit their nickname slips out of their mouth? And technically speaking it is indeed a name they go by? Maybe because they feel more comfortable using this nickname instead of their "actual/real name"?

Now we know that Diavolo hates being lied to and has the power to tell lies from truth to back it up, so do you think he'll think the human is lying deliberately? Or would his aura turn more threatening and serious and ask for their real name? I personally feel like I'll piss all of them off if I were to meet them for the first time. Why? Take a look below to see how the convo would've gone:

Diavolo: Welcome to the Devildom. I am Diavolo, the Crown Prince. How should we address you?

MC: Please call me (insert nickname) (absolutely natural but debating whether or not it would count as a valid answer)

Lucifer and Barbatos: ...

Diavolo: ... That is not your real name now is it? It would not do you any good to lie. (Aura probably turns threatening but his customer service smile is still present, most likely assuming that MC has a dishonest purpose for concealing their "real name" aka name given by parents)

MC: Your Highness, with all due respect, that is indeed a name. I have fulfilled your request, and it is indeed one that I go by and have gone by for quite a while now. ("You only asked for a name to refer to me by, you never asked for the one I was given since childhood." Would probably be added in their head. It would not do for them to spit something so...snarky and potentially rude out. They are in unknown territory and an unfamiliar environment after all. Holding their tongue here would be more advantageous)

Now assuming that they accepted, should MC decide to reveal their name.later, would it bring a lot of trouble paperwork-wise? They've been writing this name on all of their assignments, their Devildom ID displays their nickname, and all of the official documents are signed with this alias. Or perhaps when they've grown fond of the sacrificial little lamb, they will allow them to suddenly change their names via a short notice to all academic lecturers? As for their Identification Card and personal documents, the card will be updated/changed (either via magic or by getting a replacement) and the documents will have a note/update stating their real name?

Of course, if the MC is comfortable with only their newfound family (the constituent characters are naturally chosen by you, my dear reader) using their real name, then those with said honour will guard it with their lives. For those that are prone to slipping up, they will perhaps flounder a little and give the excuse of confusing the sheep with someone else (yes Mams my darling I'm looking at you). For Levi I think he'll continue to refer to MC as Henry anyways but then again it depends on your personal HCs.

For those in the cast but are not chosen to be the MC's super close ones, perhaps they'll be a little confused should anyone slip up while they are around. Cue more floundering until perhaps it gets out, but you know the cast's mouths are shut, so tightly they'll put gorilla glue to shame.

So worry not, your real name won't be slipping out to the RAD public. Despite what I mentioned about Mams earlier, you know he will guard your precious name like dragons with treasure. And he'll do admittedly one of the best jobs out of the cast.

Now assuming that they do not accept that reasoning, it could go two (for what I can think of now) ways.

1) MC continues debating.

Given Lucifer's displeasure, he would most likely chide the MC for their rudeness and Barbatos would, with a chilly smile, advise them not to use up all their chances. The brothers on the sidelines may whisper a bit between themselves but will not interfere since it's not like they'll save a random human stranger from their Prince and risk being on the receiving end of the wrath of the Fantastic Trio (if you know where this is from, you know *wink wonk* sorry, couldn't resist using this .... Interesting group name.)

When it gets to a very bad point where MC is perhaps dishing out their reasoning with possibly an annoyed tone by now, they will have to bet or hope. Hope that Diavolo would be magnanimous enough to allow them to use their alias down here and accept their alias as the name they go by since he can confirm the genuine discomfort they have with using their "actual name" and spot nearly no lies in the reasons they offered.

But if Lucifer and Barbatos happen to get a little iffy before their Prince gets mad, MC will have to bet that they would not jeopardise this exchange program by hurting them in any way or exchanging them for another human.

Or for those beyond the fourth wall, get rid of this exchange student they've selected, either out of rage or annoyance or for convenience and success, reset the timeline or make another timeline the sole reality and pick another exchange student. Basically MC will have to bet on their value and importance to the exchange program and bet that Diavolo would care enough about having stains or guilt/reminders on what he had done to the MC (if he were to smite them or wipe them out for the safety of his kingdom cuz he suspects that they have ulterior motives for hiding their name) because most royals don't.

But then again they have magic so should things come down to it they may just erase MC's memories and send them back to the human realm unsuspectingly, choose another human and move on.

Also, who's to say that Diavolo didn't have Barbatos look through the timelines and pick the one which goes most successfully before bringing MC down? (Yes, fanfictions expanding on the aftermath of Lesson 16 have been getting to my head and giving me a lot of ideas and scenarios)

Diavolo is the Crown Prince. Acting ruler of a whole kingdom. There is no way he would be willing to toss an uncertain factor into the equation without knowing the future. If I had the power / someone with the power to look into the future freely without much repercussions (on my kingdom that is and preferably the person but the priority is on the kingdom), I would use those powers to see how my plans go, especially since my citizens and my kingdom, my responsibility and the burden I have to shoulder alone, albeit sparingly.

But ultimately as a ruler, one's responsibilities come before one's emotions. It's the price they have to pay for the immense wealth and safety they were born with. With so many lives resting on his hands, there is no way a ruler as benevolent but also smart, intelligent (terrifyingly so), cunning and manipulative (I mean that as a compliment cuz those are what a ruler should have, to use it for good ofc don't get me wrong) as Diavolo would not take "cheat a little" and look at the answer to the question (like those reference/practice question books that yall's parents buy for you when huge examinations are near. Just me? Aight then—)

Anyways, the route honestly depends on what y'all choose/think/headcanon. I'm just adding a drop into the ocean in hopes that any writers will write a piece on this or perhaps expand on my idea or something. I would do it but I don't trust myself to serve or deliver, not when I know some in the fandom have repeatedly left absolutely no crumbs. (Yes I'm a Gen Z I just don't use slangs often don't @ me—)

2) MC begrudgingly accepts the use of their real name.

That's all for now, may add more/ a Part 2 of inspiration decides to pull a Truck-kun and isekai me somehow.

#obey me #obey me thoughts #obey me scenario #obey me prompt #obey me shall we date #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me barbatos #obey me mc #OMSHD #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #withered blossoms #withered blossoms rambles #obey me scenarios

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silentglassbreak · 10 months ago

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Anonymous

Noah Sebastian x OFC

I'm so sorry it took me a little longer to update. I've got a gnarly head cold, but I'm in bed, and hoping to get the next part started after this one is posted. We’re getting to the meat of the story here now folks. There’s lots of fluffy cheesy fluff in this chapter, because it’s going to get real heavy later. Remember to let me know if you want to be tagged! 🖤

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, overall abuse, mild violence (ie. bar fights), smut, swearing, and altogether just a lot of fuckery. ++ chapter warning for consensual choking***

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Part 7 — Concrete Jungle

The days were passing slower than molasses. I found myself working overtime nearly every day to give me something to do outside of being at home, AA, or waiting for Noah to call. Being a hermit was much easier when the only person I had to look forward to seeing was my dog.

We were so close to the end of the first leg of the tour, Noah only having two shows left before he came home for nearly three months.

I dreamt of how wonderful those three months would be. We talked about it often. He swore he was coming over the day he got home from Witchita, and we weren’t leaving my house for a solid week. As unrealistic as that was, I still looked forward to it, and scheduled vacation to have that entire week off.

I was soaking in the tub, music pumping through my earbuds when the sound of a familiar ringtone sang through my ears. I smiled and tapped my phone screen, answering the call.

“Hey babe.” I sank back down into the water, inhaling the lavender scent of the epsom salts I had added.

“Hey sweetheart, how was your day?” His voice was relaxed, calm and cool.

“Not the worst. Sam wasn’t there today, so I actually didn’t hate it.”

He chuckled. “That guy’s a real dick, huh?”

I snorted. “The worst.”

“Well, if he ever makes another pass at you, just tell him your big scary boyfriend will kick his ass.”

My eyes were closed, just relaxing at the sound of his voice. “My boyfriend?”

“Is that a problem?”

“I thought I said I didn’t want anything official?”

I could hear the smirk in his voice. “Yeah, well that was before big meathead dudes were hitting on you.”

��Mm,” I pulled my arm out of the water to readjust my towel under my head. “I’ll tell him my big scary boyfriend said so.”

“What is that noise? Are you doing dishes?”

“In the tub.”

He didn’t respond, but I heard my phone’s twinkling ringtone, indicating I was getting a FaceTime call. I snickered and ignored it.

“No way. You gotta wait to see it in person.”

I heard him groan on the other end of the line. “Not fucking fair! You’re all wet and bubbly.”

“No bubbles today.”

“So I can see through the water?!”

The jingling came again and I ignored it, laughing loudly.

“Shouldn’t you be in soundcheck?”

“That ended hours ago. I’m relaxing in my room before the show.” His voice lowered. “I��m so lonely.”

“See if Nick’s around.” I said nonchalantly.

He hissed. “Babe, I’m in a mood here, help me out.”

I giggled. “Say please.”

“You know I don’t fucking ask.” His tone was deadly now. I shivered at the sound, spreading my thighs a little.

“Fine, but no video. Last time I nearly dropped my phone in the tub.”

“Deal.”

It was silent for a beat. “You okay?” I looked over to the phone to make sure the call hadn’t disconnected.

“I’ll be better once I know you’re touching yourself.” My stomach dropped, a small moan leaving my mouth. His words were always so maddening, getting me hot so quickly.

I adjusted myself, spreading my thighs and letting my hands fall lazily over my slit, running my fingers gently over my sensitive spot.

“I am.”

“Good girl.” I pressed a little harder against my clit, rubbing slow circles around it. “Now, tell me how bad you miss my cock. How bad do you miss me, baby.”

I moaned louder now, bringing my left hand up to pinch my nipples. My undulations on my core increasing speed by the second.

“Ugh I miss you so much Noah.” I let my head fall back, eyes closed, picturing him in the tub with me.

“That’s right. You miss me touching you, baby?”

My voice was just breaths. “Yes.”

“You miss me eating that sweet pussy? Making you fucking scream?” His breaths were coming quicker now.

“Yes, Noah.” I answered louder, my hips buckling slightly at the thought.

“When I get home, you going to let me fucking destroy you, baby? Fuck you until you can’t even move?”

“Oh, fuck, yes...” I was so fucking close.

“I’m going to come just fucking thinking about it baby. Always thinking about you. That pretty, tight pussy. So fucking wet.” I could hear movement on the other end, I could tell he was as close as I was.

“Noah I need you so bad. Please come home. Please come home and fuck me. I need you so so bad.”

I heard him gasp hard on the other end. “Fuck!” His voice was sharp. He came.

I wasn’t far behind, letting out a small scream.

There was no words exchanged for at least five minutes while we both worked on getting our breathing under control.

After a moment, I heard him make a sound of disapproval. “I made a mess.”

This caused me to burst out laughing, him joining me only a second later.

“Fucking hell, Noah. I can’t wait to see you.”

He sighed heavy. “I know.” I could tell he was thinking, he only got completely silent when he was.

“Fuck it, come to Witchita! Catch a flight tomorrow and you can make the show. Then you can ride home with us.” I paused myself, now toweling off while the water drained from the tub.

“Excuse me?”

“You took the week off, right? I’ll book you a ticket right now.”

“Noah, you aren’t coming home until Thursday. I can’t leave Angel that long. And I can’t bring him on the bus.”

“Can Laura watch him for a few days?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, Noah. I’d miss two days of group.”

He huffed, obviously defeated. “Alright. I’m sorry, it was a dumb idea.”

“No, it wasn’t. I just need more time to plan something like that.”

He had to go, ending the call quickly to shower and head back down to the venue. With a promise of calling me after, we hung up.

I called Laura that night, telling her about Noah’s promise to keep me in bed for a week.

“I’m so fucking jealous of you.” I laughed heartily.

“You’re married!”

“I know! But you’re literally dating a rockstar, Leena. I’m jealous.”

I chewed on my thumb nail.

“He called himself my boyfriend, Laura.”

“Isn’t he?”

I flopped back on my bed. “I don’t know. It feels like it.”

“Is that so bad?”

I contemplated this. “I’m scared, Laura.” My arm covered my eyes. “You know how long it’s been.”

“I know, LeeLee.” Her childhood nickname for me brought me some comfort. “But Noah isn’t him.”

“I know he isn’t.”

“So don’t hold yourself back. Have you even told Noah about him? About any of your trauma?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should.”

I could feel hot tears brewing. “I’m scared to love him, Lo.” My childhood nickname for her.

“Babes, if you’re scared to, then I think you already do.”

Well, that’s a lot to unpack.

I sniffled hard, wiping my tears. “Ugh.” I sat up. “He also asked me to fly to Kansas tomorrow. Go to the show and ride back with them on the bus.”

“That’s cute as fuck. Are you going to? You know I’ll watch Angel.” I rolled my eyes.

“I know, but that’s insane! I would have to leave in like 12 hours.”

“…and?” I didn’t respond, which told her how I felt. “Leena, you don’t do spontaneous, fun stuff anymore. Did you already tell him no?”

“Thank you for that.” I sighed. “And yeah, told him I couldn’t miss group.”

“Abel can handle group for one week.” I stayed quiet. My mind was actually considering it. “You could surprise him!”

“What?”

“Yeah! Show up without telling him, and hold up a sign that says LH hearts NS or some shit! He’s sappy, he’d love it!”

“I can’t exactly get in without him knowing. The show is sold out.”

“Can’t you call Nick or Folio?”

With that, my brain kicked into place and the plan all formed in my head.

“Laura, I’ll drop Angel off in the morning.”

She laughed. “See, you love him!”

I hung up without another word.

I dug through my contacts and found Nick’s number. The show should have ended at least an hour ago, so I guessed they were still in the green room, shaking off the energy.

“C’mon, pick up Nick, pick up.”

“Hey!” The voice was loud, a ton of background noise. “Is everything okay? Do you need to talk to Noah!”

“No!” I yelled into the phone. “No, Nick I’m fine, but I need to talk to you privately.”

Having filled Nick in on my plan, he was on board from the moment I said the word ‘surprise’. He thought it was a great idea. He told me Noah had been homesick, and he was sure me coming would perk him right up.

I booked the earliest flight to Witchita that I could, leaving at 5AM. Laura cursed at me when she opened the door to bring Angel inside at 3AM. I dropped a quick kiss on his snout and promised to text Laura the moment I landed.

I then drove to LAX, running through the terminal to my gate, barely making it on the plane in time.

My adrenaline was on high, my backpack filled to the brim with clothes, random toiletries I may need, my wallet, and my phone charger. Everything else would just have to do without.

I understood now why Noah takes a panic day before traveling, because this was anxiety-inducing to do. I hated flying, so my heart raced the entire nearly eight hours.

Once I touched down, I grabbed an Uber to the hotel, the same one I knew they stayed at. I had four hours until the doors opened. I asked Nick for a regular GA ticket, no VIP. I needed to be the first one there so I was in the very front. He needed to see me.

Checked into my room, I slipped in a quick shower to wash the flight off of me, shivering when I got out. I stared down at my bag and realized what I had forgotten.

“Oh shit!”

I picked up my phone and dialed Nick. He answered on the first ring.

“Hey, you here yet?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m in my room. Dude! I have nothing to make a sign out of!”

“Erm…what do you need?”

I ran my hands over my forehead feverishly.

“Poster board and a big sharpie?”

He was quiet for a moment. “Okay, give me 15, let me see what I can find. Text me your room number.”

He hung up and I quickly slipped my clothes on.

My phone rang, Noah’s face flashing.

“Hey you.” I even sounded suspicious, what the fuck? I’m so bad at this.

“Hey gorgeous, you alright?”

My blood ran cold. “Yeah, why?”

“Oh, just because you went to bed early last night and then said you were busy all day. I haven’t heard much from you.”

I laughed, relieved. “Oh yeah, just hung out with Laura all day. I just got home.”

“Ah, okay. I can’t talk long, I’ve got to get ready soon. But I just wanted to check in.”

“Oh, sure! I miss you.” I sat down on the bed.

“I miss you too, baby. Only a couple more days.”

I gritted my teeth. “Yup. Home stretch.”

We said our goodbyes and as I clicked ‘End’, there was a knock at the door.

Nick stood on the other side, 5-pack of poster boards and 3-pack of giant markers in his hands. He was sweating and absolutely out of breath.

“Hi…Leena…” he said in between breaths. “I ran to the corner store and got these. I hope they work.”

I took the items from him, taking note of the color of the posters.

“Neon green?” He nodded, putting his hands on his knees.

“Yeah. Trust me. He can see it way better on stage.”

I smiled brightly. “This is perfect, Nick. Thank you!”

He smiled back. “Anytime. Now look, we take a break between Death of Peace of Mind and Just Pretend where Noah talks to the crowd and gives his little monologue. It gives him time to get his voice ready for the song.”

I listened intently.

“That’s when you hold it up. He’ll have them turn on the lights so he can look at the crowd, and that’s when you hold it up.”

“But what if he sees me before then? Won’t it be obvious if I’m in the front?”

He shook his head. “Don’t let him bullshit you. When the lights are down, we can’t see shit up there.”

I was the second person in line, behind a red-headed girl who looked positively irritated. She was dressed in full Bad Omens merch, reminding me that I should have worn the shirt he gave me. Instead, I wore a black tank top, black jeans, and combat boots.

When the doors opened, I walked up to the rail in front of the stage, my sign tightly wrapped in my hands, and turned my back. I didn’t want to risk him seeing me from the back.

I pulled my phone out and shot him a quick message.

Me: Have a great show tonight, babe!

His response was quick.

Noah: Yep, last one till I’m home with you.

Noah: Call you after.

The show was so long, by the time the guys actually made it on stage, I was wiped. ERRA and Invent Animate had put on great sets, but I was here for Bad Omens.

When I heard the opening chords to Death of Peace of Mind, I felt my heart jump into my throat. I sunk low by the railing, listening to Noah’s enchanting voice sing the melody.

“You come and go in waves. Leaving me in your wake.”

I swallowed hard.

“You come and go in waves. Swallowing everything.”

The guitars and drums pounded out the last verse of the song, leaving the venue dark when the lights went out.

I began unraveling the sign, questioning my entire life. This was so corny. Is this how I really wanted to do this? Make such a strong confession to him? In a fucking sign? Like a prom-posal?!

My gut twisted. I couldn’t do this. But I had to. I came all this way. Nick nearly gave himself an asthma attack getting the supplies.

And there was my guy, sauntering around the stage, monologuing, right on schedule.

He would turn the lights up any second. It’s now or never.

I lifted the sign as high as my 5’1 frame would allow, closing my eyes to the rest of the world, internally cringing at how ridiculous this was.

“Woah, we got a sign over here!” His voice was boisterous. And he saw me, or my sign, rather, as I was hiding my face behind it.

I heard him walk toward where I stood.

“Let’s see what it says.” I peeked around the side for only a second, seeing he was bent over, squinting to read the sign.

“‘I love you Noah S’, awe, thank you, that’s so sweet.” He hadn’t walked away though. “What does that say underneath?”

He was quiet for a second. He was reading my name. ‘Leena R.’

The room fell silent, or for me it did. I heard nothing but the shuffling of the microphone being put on the stand. I lowered the sign to see what was happening just as he fixed his mic on the stage.

“Give me just a second, guys.”

The crowd screamed, and he jogged over to the area of the stage directly above where I stood. With no warning, he jumped down, causing the security guard to scramble over to him. He was unfazed, walking straight up to the railing in front of me.

His eyes were wide, a giant grin nearly breaking his cheekbones.

I was sheepishly smiling back, trying hard to maintain my composure.

“You love me?” I almost couldn’t hear him over the crowd. I just nodded wildly, moisture prickling behind my eyes.

Before anything else could happen, he reached up and hooked my neck, pulling me toward the railing and crashing his lips on mine.

All I felt was vibrations, likely from the crowd exploding. His lips tasted like mint and sweat, his gloved hand rough against the back of my neck.

When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead to mine for a second.

“I fucking love you, Leena.”

I was still shaking, my hands tucked firmly in my jean pockets while the security guard walked me to the green room as instructed by Noah.

I could hear the concert continue, only two songs left. Noah had jumped back onstage and continued as if nothing had happened, able to breeze right past it like the professional he is.

“Okay, you can wait in here. They’ll be back here once they finish up.” I smiled at the security guard and walked past him into the room.

“Hey,” I turned to look at him. “that was a ballsy move out there. Good for you.”

I blushed hard, looking anywhere but at him. “Yeah? It felt kind of insane.”

He laughed. “It was fucking psychotic.” This wasn’t helping. “But to be honest, I never see shit like that happen. It was cool as fuck.”

He left before I could say anything else.

It wasn’t long before Folio burst through the door, obviously still hyper from the performance. Jolly and Nick followed, already chatting.

“I swear to you my rig was out of tune, dude! It kept giving me sour notes during Limits, and then Dethrone was a fucking mess.” Nick’s eyes scanned the room and found me sitting on the couch, waiting patiently. “Leena!”

I jumped up. “Hey!”

“Perfect fucking execution dude! Exactly how I pictured it.”

“Yeah? How embarrassing was it? Be honest.”

Jolly laughed, pulling his long hair back into a low ponytail. “Oh, it was adorable. I loved it.”

“It was fucking cringe, dude!” Folio’s voice called from the table that had snacks on it. He looked over, open water bottle in his hand. “It was rad as fuck!”

I relaxed my shoulders.

Noah came skipping into the room after a moment, pulling the gloves off of his hands.

“Hey!” He bound up to me, his arms coming to grab me by the hips, pulling me down to another kiss.

“I thought you couldn’t make it!”

I smirked. “I changed my mind.”

“So you didn’t spend the entire day with Laura, I gather?”

I shook my head. “Nope. I spent the day traveling.”

He had disbelief on his face. “How did you pull it off?”

“Called Nick. Booked a flight. Easy stuff.”

“I risked my life for that sign, by the way!” Nick hollered from the couch.

“Is that why you ran out of the room earlier?”

Nick just nodded in response. “I came through. Pulled the wool over your eyes.”

Noah lifted his brows at me, his expression was unreadable.

“You both are insufferable, you know that?”

I had brought my things to Noah’s room, not much need for my own. My legs were feeling heavy, so the walk off the elevator and down the hallway with him was my time to find the strength. Noah was a very…active…individual, and I assumed that he was going to be looking for some time together.

When we entered the room, he walked past me, immediately pulling his shirt off and sitting in the bed. Rather than looking at me with his usual hunger, his eyes looked exhausted when they met mine.

It occurred to me, Noah had been on tour for a couple of months. He was playing shows nearly every night while traveling, sometimes without even time to sleep in a hotel room. He needed rest.

“Noah?” He only tipped his chin up in response. “I think I know what you need.”

He raised his brow, the playful expression shadowing his face. “Yeah, and what’s that?”

“A shower.” It took him a second to process, but once he did, his shoulders relaxed forward and he huffed out an amused sigh.

“Yep, you’re right about that.” He ran his hand over the back of his neck.

I stepped over to him, putting my arms around his shoulders and pulling him in close. He pressed the side of his face into my chest in a comforting gesture, wrapping his own arms around my waist.

“Then, you need some sleep. Nick said we leave at 6AM.”

I could only feel him nod. I pulled back so he could look up at me.

“Why don’t we pick up on the fun stuff when we get home? And just work on recovering for now?”

I felt his body go slack.

“Oh thank God.” I shook with laughter. “I’m so fucking tired, Leena. I didn’t want to disappoint you, though.”

“You want to know a secret?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m fucking dead, dude. I’m so tired I could fall asleep standing up.”

He laughed into my chest, caging me in just a little tighter.

“Didn’t you sleep on the plane?”

“No, I uh…I’m not a great flyer.”

“Me neither, why do you think we still take a tour bus?” His voice was muffled by my shirt and he sighed heavily.

“You, mister, go get in a hot shower. Scrub off all that sweat. I will order us some food, and get a movie on.”

He groaned approvingly. “Today is the best day ever.”

He sounded small, which tugged on my heart. “I’m glad I came.”

“Me too.”

After a solid five hours of sleep, a morning shower (that may have included some touching), and a third cup of coffee, Noah and I were standing at the hotel check-in desk turning in his room key, and my completely useless one as well. We had fallen asleep not twenty-minutes into the horror movie I had put on after devouring a pizza. We fell asleep spooning, but he eventually rolled onto his back, and I woke up half-laying on him, sweat covering both of us.

Noah was always so chipper in the mornings, which was painful for me, as I was a creature of the night. Even after all of the caffeine, I was still wearing sweatpants, one of Noah's sweatshirts, no bra, flip-flops, and my sunglasses. My hair was hanging loose over my shoulders, not brushed out after the shower. I looked absolutely dreadful.

Still, he held my hand as we walked out to the bus, and helped my backpack off of me and let me on first. The bus was about what I expected, large, loungers lining both sides, a table near a somewhat kitchenette with a refrigerator and table. In the 'hallway' area were the bunks, a bathroom that was smaller than the one on the airplane, and in the very back was a couch with two large televisions, a couple of various gaming consoles, and some cabinets that Noah showed me were filled with snacks.

I had set myself up on one of the lounge couches while the rest of the guys loaded onto the bus. I was waving to each of them lazily as they stepped on, dropping things off in their respective bunks. Folio laid on the lounger across from me, immediately letting his eyes fall closed. I felt my own lids get heavy.

"Are we ready? Ron says we aren't stopping for at least six hours." Jolly called from the front of the bus. He received several yelps of approval in the back from Noah and Nick, who were putting their things away in the back cabinets. No response from the now comatose Folio, and just a thumbs up from me.

As the bus began to move, the vibrations had me lulled, pulling me closer to falling back asleep as my eyes watched the sun slowly rising from the window. An arm reached over me, pulling a shade closed and blocking the light, which was lovely.

I heard Noah's voice above me, so I angled my head to look up. "Going to take a nap, love?" The word made me turn my lips up tiredly.

"Mm, it's not even a nap. It's just going back to bed."

He laughed, shaking his head. "You want to lay in my bunk? The pillows smell like me." He winked, making me roll my eyes playfully.

"I'm too claustrophobic for those things." I sunk down into the cushions. "Besides, I'm so comfy."

He walked to the back, returning only a moment later with a large green blanket that was plush and warm, flinging it over me.

He bent down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "Get some sleep. I'm going to go kick the shit out of Nick at Warzone."

"Fuck you, dude! I'm going to wipe the fucking floor with you." Nick's voice carried through the bus.

Noah was only gone for a moment before my eyes slipped closed and the movement from the bus had me in a nice, deep slumber.

The drive back home was long. Longer than I had exactly anticipated. It was now about 11PM, and Noah and I were snuggled on the couch in the back, watching through The Conjuring 2, under the same blanket I had napped under earlier. I was going to sleep back here tonight, and I had this pulling feeling that Noah was too.

I was laying sideways, pressed against his side and chest as he laid flat, legs crossed and spread long on the couch. He had one arm wrapped around me, and the other folded under his head.

I wasn't so much watching the movie, having seen it many times, but I was mostly studying him. My fingers traced the tattoos on his shirtless chest, taking note of freckles that were barely visible between the lines of ink.

After a while, I glanced up at him, seeing his eyes beginning to flutter closed. I reached my face up, and pressed a kiss to his jaw, catching his attention. His arm tightened around me, and he breathed heavy.

"I'm fighting for my life to stay awake here." His voice was deep and thick, sleepy.

I smiled. "Why not go to bed, babe? This couch is a little small for two of us."

"Cause you're wide awake, and I'm not going to leave you alone."

"I'm a big girl, Noah. I can put on something to watch and lay here until I get drowsy"

He just shook his head and cleared his throat. "I'll be okay."

I shrugged and began sitting up, needing to stretch. He followed suit.

His eyes watched me as I lifted my arms over my head, my crop top pulling and exposing the underside of my breasts. I saw his tongue slide over his bottom lip.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

He smirked, reaching out to press his palm into my side, making me shiver. His hands were freezing.

"Actually..." He pulled, nearly causing me to topple into his lap.

I let out a squeal, clapping a hand over my mouth. Jolly and Nick were passed out, their snores carrying through the bus. Folio was in his bunk, watching something on his tablet with headphones in. Noah had closed the door to the back of the bus when we first came back here, but I didn't want to be a nuisance, and wake everyone.

He quietly laughed, pulling my legs on either side of him, bringing my face down to his with a hand in my hair.

Our mouths connected softly, his hands coming to rest on my sides.

I pulled back slightly, my eyes glancing over at the door.

"It's locked."

I raised my brows at him, hands resting on his shoulders. "Yeah? Had ideas of how this night was going to go?"

I tried to keep my face even, but I was struggling not to crack a smile.

"I'm not as tired tonight." His voice was low, serious.

He pressed his lips to mine again, steady but not eager. We had time. We were only halfway back to LA, most everyone was asleep, and, most importantly, we were in love.

This moment together just felt different. There was a barrier that had been up, completely fallen now, leaving us bare to each other and vulnerable.

Slowly, he lifted my shirt over my head, drinking in the sight in front of him. His mouth came down on my chest, teeth leaving soft bites as he worked toward my left nipple slowly, painfully. His lips locked onto my nipple, and my head fell back. His hands pulled my hips down, only the fabrics of our sweats between us. The hard bulge ground against my core, making me moan softly.

We stayed this way for a long time, writhing together, his mouth moving from my nipples to my neck, to my mouth. I tugged on his shirt, pulling it over his head. For a second, I stood off of him, and intentionally pulled my pants down as slowly as possible, causing him to groan.

Once I had kicked them off, I reached down and grabbed onto his, only pulling them down enough to let his erection free. I then regained my spot straddling him, sliding myself over him, our mouths hot on each other. When I felt the head of his cock bump my entrance, we both froze for a second. His eyes latched onto me.

We both stared for longer than a moment, trying to decide what we do here. I wasn't on birth control. I knew I was clean. I trusted him to tell me if he wasn't. As stupid as it was, it didn't bother me. Nothing bothered me here. Nothing.

I sunk down, letting him slide into me, and I watched as his mouth fell open, eyes wide. This wasn't just us having sex on the back of a tour bus where someone could hear or see. This was more. This was something else entirely.

I felt every inch of him, all the way to the hilt, and my eyes fluttered closed, my bottom lip caught in my teeth. I was adjusting to the size, having only felt it the one time before, months ago.

"Look at me." His voice was nothing more than a breath.

I opened my eyes, staring at him, tears stinging the corners of my eyes. I couldn't say if it was from the slight pain of the penetration, or the sheer emotion I had for Noah.

His hands held me in place by my sides, keeping me from moving an inch.

"I love you, Leena."

A tear spilled down my face, and I sucked in a hard breath.

"I love you, Noah. So fucking much."

I felt his fingers release me ever so gently, and I bucked my hips, causing the most delicious friction that pulled a moan out of both of us. Again, I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep myself from giving us away, and began a slow rhythm of bouncing up and down, each thrust pushing me toward a finish line I so desperately wanted.

He leaned his head back against the cabinet, his breathing so heavy I thought his chest might burst.

"Jesus Christ, baby. Don't fucking stop." He was too loud, he would have the entire bus knowing what we were doing.

I reached my hand up to cover his mouth too, but he snatched my wrist in his hand, reaching up and grabbing the other from over my mouth. He held both wrists in one hand, and pinned them between us, not letting me free while his hips bucked, pressing him deeper and deeper each time I landed on top of him.

He leaned his head in to whisper in my ear. "Stay quiet baby, wouldn't want anyone to know."

Small squeaks escaped with nearly every thrust, my eyes beginning to roll back. I grit my teeth to keep the sound from escaping.

"That's it. Good job, baby." His eyes were half-masked when he spoke, one hand gripping my wrists in a deadly tight grasp, the other lifting my hips for leverage. "You're trying so hard to keep quiet. So good, princess."

His words were giving me a familiar tingling sensation in my belly, my climax coming closer the more he spoke.

"Look so fucking pretty when you ride my cock. Missed that tight pussy so much."

I let a small whine out and his body stilled instantly. My eyes snapped open, and he narrowed his eyes at me. The irises were black, his expression was serious.

"What did I say? You need to keep quiet."

My eyes widened, but my head nodded frantically. The lack of friction was becoming painful.

"I'm sorry."

He released my wrists, my hands falling lifelessly to my side. Both of his hands snaked up my chest, reaching my shoulders. His right hand reached up, wrapping his fingers gently around my throat and slowly adding pressure until I felt my windpipe compressing ever so slightly.

The sensation was sickeningly delicious and my legs naturally jerked in an attempt to gain sensation.

"You will do as I say, is that understood?" I nodded. He reached a hand around me and grabbed a fist full of skin from my ass, pulling me forward. His hand tightened on my throat.

"Now, ask nicely for me to fuck you."

I gasped, his hand loosening to let air through.

"Please, Noah. Please...fuck me."

His hand released my neck, coming down to grab my ass and began bucking up into me violently. I fell forward against him. His arms then wrapped around my chest as I felt the coil in my body pull tighter and tighter. I pulled back to look him in the eyes, his expression wild.

I leaned down and bit into his neck hard, causing a strangled sound to come from his throat as I felt him slow his thrusts. I used the opportunity to grind myself harder against him, the contact pushing me over the edge, my orgasm tearing out of me.

I rode down onto him hard, slowing with each thrust, until we were both panting against each other.

"Are you okay?" He breathed out after a moment, having calmed to nearly normal.

I only nodded in response.

"I've never done...that before." His voice was entirely different now, sounding nearly nervous.

"What?" I expected him to be referring to the choking. It wasn't my first time, but any other time had been pretty dissatisfying, to say the least.

"Having sex...without a condom."

I pulled back to look at him, my brows raised in disbelief.

"Really?"

He was chewing on his lip. "I trust you. I just..." He trailed off, his mind clearly racing. "I'm clean, I swear I am."

I only chuckled at this, rolling off of him and snatching my pants off of the floor. He pulled his up as well.

"I am, too. However," I slipped my shirt over my head. "I'm not on the pill, so we'll need to grab a Plan B when we get back to civilization."

His eyes widened. "I didn't even fucking think of that."

I stood up, stretching. "Luckily for you, I did."

We turned the movie off, as we had missed most of it already anyway. We sat facing each other, cross-legged on the couch, eating snacks out of our respective bags; I had Cheez-Its and he had Reese's Pieces.

"Are you from LA, originally?"

I shook my head. "No, I was born in Washington, but only lived there until I was about five. When my mom died, my Dad moved us to LA. Him and Mom lives there before I was born, and she was buried in East Los Angeles. He said it only made sense.”

"What does he do?" He popped a candy into his mouth.

"He's has a wood-working business. Builds furniture and does art pieces. He doesn't do much of the actual labor stuff anymore, at his age, but he still loves to carve. He has six stores in LA County, two in San Bernardino, and one up in Alameda."

Noah looked thoroughly impressed. "Fucking nice!"

"Yeah, he's my best friend. Best Dad ever." I smiled thinking about my Dad. I would be calling him the moment I got home to update him on my trip.

I looked up at Noah, my turn to ask questions.

"Why go to an AA group in Orange County when you live all the way in Calabasas?"

He twirled a candy in his fingers, shrugging. "Well, when I google searched AA meetings, I didn't want to risk anyone seeing me, so I didn't want to be too close by. I also didn't want to travel too far so I wouldn't have an excuse not to go. Then I narrowed it down to meeting not associated with any churches or religious groups. That's how I found yours."

"What made you decide it was time for AA?"

He was looking down into his bag, and I saw the expression on his face change. I had hit a nerve somewhere, but I wasn't sure where.

"It's like I said before, I had some downtime and figured it was time."

"I don't believe that."

His head snapped up to look at me. "What?"

"Well, maybe in general that's true, but there's usually something. One thing that leads you to AA. It's rare when you just wake up one day, realize you have a problem, and then walk into a meeting."

His eyes narrowed. "Well, that's what happened to me."

He didn't want to keep talking about this, I could tell, but something was there that he wasn't saying. I elected to let it go. I'm no longer his sponsor, maybe I'm not entitled to that information anymore.

Maybe.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian fic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens #fanfic

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 6 months ago

Text

End Game 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: get ready for the hate.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

The tunnel lights up ahead of you, revealing the cubic rock walls as you plant torches in your stead. The eerie soundtrack of night time and the ominous groan of zombies looming somewhere in the cave have you uptight. Silently, you press on, digging and mining mindlessly, fingers mashing the buttons on your controller.

“Hey, where are you?” Jacob’s voice startles you.

You nearly forgot you’re playing co-op. You sniff and shake your head, cursing aloud as your shock has you succumbing to the arrow of a sneaky skeleton. You sigh as your possessions scatter and you spawn back in your bed.

“Back home,” you say glumly, “just ate it.”

“Ah, damn,” his deep voice rolls in your noise-cancelling headset, “sorry, hope that wasn’t me.”

“No, I wasn’t paying attention,” you hum and sigh.

“Ah,” he accepts and lets silence linger before he clicks his tongue, “what’s going on? Everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you put the controller down, your avatar sitting on the geometric bed, “I just...” you stretch your neck and massage your scalp around the thick band of the headset, “got a lot on my mind.”

“Right. I thought you were all done exams,” he says.

“I am, but... packing. Going home. I called my old boss and turns out I’m not gonna have a job this summer. Gotta start over,” you yawn and rub your eyes, “what about you? Final exam tomorrow?”

“Uh... yeah,” he hesitates as if he forgot. You do wonder why he isn’t cramming right now. You could never play minecraft all night the day before a final. “Easy stuff. I’m not worried.”

You scoff. You wish you could say the same. All you’ve done is worry those last two weeks. Exams, getting home, getting a job. Your grandmother won’t very happy to find out you’ll be slumming it for a while. At least you tucked away some money through the semester.

“Hey, if you need a few bucks...” Jacob offers.

“What? Are you crazy? No way,” you exclaim, “really, no, I couldn’t. I’ll be fine. I just... I hate looking for jobs. You know how it is. Friggin awkward.”

“It’s not a big deal. My dad sent me my birthday money so...”

“Uh uh,” you deny him again, “that’s way too much. I couldn’t-- we haven’t even met.”

“Mm, yeah, about that,” he exhales into his microphone, “I, uh, got an extra ticket to this Con. I figured out that’s it like the midway point between us so...”

“A con? Oh, wow--”

“Yeah, but I get that it would be expensive so maybe I could pay for your trip?”

“Jacob,” you wiggle the controller restlessly, “I can't accept that. It’s so nice but... it’s a lot.”

“I wouldn’t offer it was too much,” his voice is soft, meek, and defeated. You feel bad but you would feel worse taking advantage of his kindness. “We’ve been talking all year. I just figured it would be a good chance to meet up. It would be in public and something we both like so...”

You scratch your neck as it speckles with heat. You don’t know what’s more insulting; yes or no.

“Can I think about it?” You ask thinly.

The line is quiet. You look at the screen and it goes dim from your idling. You hit the analog stick and fix your headphones.

“Jacob?” You murmur.

“Sure, think about it,” he says, his voice raspy and rocky. It’s strange. You’ve seen him in pictures and his voice doesn’t really match his appearance. He sounds a lot older than he looks. “It’s next month so lots of time.”

“I’m sorry,” you cringe. “I just wouldn’t want to waste your money.”

“Trust me, it wouldn’t be a waste,” he insists, “this last year has sucked. So much. You got me through it all.” His microphone scuffs, “studying, exams, all that stuff. It’s tough making new friends. Seems like everyone here knows each other from high school.”

“Yeah, totally,” you agree.

You’re not exactly the most popular person. You have people you know in each class but not too many friends you hang out with outside the lecture hall or library. So far, not too many people want to spend hours mining digital gold or racing cartoon characters around a rainbow track.

“Well, you should probably get some sleep,” you yawn, “you got your big exam and... I gotta keep packing. Gotta catch the greyhound tomorrow night.”

“Sure, uh, yeah, right,” his disappointment is potent, “hey, will you text me when you get home? Just so I know you made it.” He snorts, “god, I sound like my dad right now.”

“Oh, of course,” you chirp back, “I’ll try to remember. Might be late.”

“That’s fine. Just as long as you let me know.”

“Don’t worry about me,” you assure him, “not ‘til I have to face my grandma. Ha.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” he says, “well... er...”

“Good night,” you finish for him, “let me know how the exam goes too.”

“Will do,” his timbre gets even lower, “night.”

You sign off and shut down the console. Another yawn flows through you and waters in your eyes. You should sleep, you got a long day waiting for you, but you know it won’t be easy. Not with so much on your mind, not least of all, Jacob’s invitation.

🎮

You text Jacob as you get on the bus, to make sure he doesn’t worry. It’s so sweet that he does, even some of your girlfriends don’t bother that much. Not that you mind the ‘hey, bitch’ Janet sends you every now and again to make sure you’re still alive.

You fall asleep on the bus. You’ve never been one to sleep while travelling but you’re exhausted from a night of anxious tossing and turning. After spending all day packing up the last of your things and scouring your dorm room, you’re beat to hell.

It’s midnight as you get to your grandmother’s house. She’s up reading another Stephen King classic in her rocking chair. She’s always been a night owl and a voracious book hound. She grumbles at you but doesn’t bother to ask how your trip was.

“Hey, grandma,” you hike up your bag and smile.

She growls again, eyes not leaving the page. You should know better by now not to interrupt her. You shoulder on and head down to the spare room where you spent most of your high-school career. You shut the door gently as the old hardwood floors creak with your weight and you drop your bag on the squeaky bed.

You fish out your phone and plug it in as the battery flashes red with only two percent left. You leave it on the night table and stretch out, not bothering to change out of your hoodie and jeans. It’s not long before you descend back into the same dreams that marked your journey home.

You wake up to buzzing. Your phone shakes the nightstand, rattling it against the bed frame. You groan and roll onto your side, reaching blindly for offending object. You hit the side button to dismiss the call.

You blink away the bleariness and focus on the screen. Along with the missed call are several text messages. You squint as you expand the notifications. Jacob! You forgot to message.

‘Hey, you home?’

‘Checking in. Must be busy getting settled in. Just let me know when you’re safe.’

‘Not meaning to be weird but everything okay?’

‘Please answer me. I’m worried.’

You drag your thumb around the keyboard, letting it predict your words; ‘sorry! I was so tired. Home now and safe 😊'

Three dots pop up then swoop away. You frown as the same thing happens several times before a response appears.

‘Was really worried. Thanks for finally answering. Been up all night.’

You’re stunned by the terse response. Yeah, you forgot to answer but he doesn’t need to worry that much. You frown and shift onto your side.

‘Srry again. Tired. Talk in morning. Night.’

You turn your phone on silent and plug it back into the cord. You do feel bad but you’re too exhausted to let it keep you up. Besides, you need your sleep. You have lots of job hunting to do in the morning. Not to mention, your grandmother to face.

🎮

You let Jacob cool down after your return home. Rather, he doesn’t text and you’re too distracted to do the same. As much as you’d like to sit around and game, your grandmother was as disappointed as you expected with your employment status, even when you gave her the money you had left in your emergency fund.

After a week, you finally get a bite. It’s nothing special. There’s a seasonal ice cream shop in a booth shaped like a vanilla cone that needs a cashier on weeknights. It’s less than full time hours but it’s better than nothing. It will be strange working with high school juniors but you can’t afford to be picky.

‘Game tonight?’ The text interrupts your first shift. You don’t have a chance to answer as a family approaches the window to order.

You get them the soft serve and take their payment, bidding them a good evening with their vanilla points already drooping in the summer heat. You glance around at the mostly empty picnic tables. Soccer practice will end soon and you’ll be overloaded with eight-year-olds.

‘Srry. New job. 1st shift. Maybe tmrw.’

‘New job? Congrats. Why didn’t you tell me?’

You sigh.

‘Time got ahead of me.’

‘Same. Catch up tomorrow then. Minecraft?’

‘Sure. Tmrw.’

You slip your phone away. A mother and daughter approach and ask for a sundae and a banana split. As much as you love ice cream, working with it hasn’t tested your cravings very much. In fact, you might be falling out of love with it. The smell of vanilla and overly sweetened strawberries is kind of gross when it’s all you breathe.

As you watch the happy customers walk away, you smile. Maybe it will be good to get some mining done. It will take your mind off of everything else. Hell, it might even make you feel like you’re doing something useful.

🎮

“Shit, oh, sorry,” Jacob corrects himself. You always think it's kind of funny how he doesn’t like to swear. “My diamond armor.”

“Oh no,” you utter, “where are you? I’ll grab your stuff.”

He gives his coordinates and you turn around, leaping over the green blocks to make your way there. Despite your reticence at the beginning, you’re feeling better about the session. He wasn’t as tense as he seemed in his texts.

“So, uh, did you think about the con?” Jacob asks.

“The con? I almost forgot. When is it?”

He gives the dates and you hum. Your chest flutters at the thought still. You’re not stupid. Meeting people IRL is not like online, no matter how many hours you’ve mined together. As much as you enjoy chatting with Jacob, you don’t know about meeting up.

“I get it if you can’t get the time off but my offer still stands to cover the trip. If you wanna stay the night, I’ll even get an airBnB.”

“Oh, wow, that’s a lot. I’m working now. I could put in,” you offer.

“Is that a yes?” He asks hopefully.

“I don’t know... I mean, I’ll have to look into it,” you say evasively. “Talk to my boss and grandma and all that.”

“Right, right,” he tries to sound unbothered, “makes sense. Of course, no pressure. How about I send you the ticket either way? Haven’t got anyone else to bite.”

“Oh, well, hold off, I wouldn’t want to take it and not use it,” you collect his weapons and armor from the ground in the game.

It’s silent as you focus on getting every little thing.

“Sorry, did I freak you out?” He asks, “I’m really not trying to pressure you, just got excited thinking about it.”

“I know, Jacob, it’s not that, it’s just... a lot.”

“Totally get it,” he intones, “let me know whenever you got an answer. Uh, where are you? I’m tryna find you.”

“Just stay there, I'll come back to the house,” you assure him, happy to focus on the game instead.

Still, you can’t entirely lose yourself in it. You’re sure he’s a nice guy. From pictures, he’s less than scary, and he’s never been anything but friendly. It’s not like the other dudes you meet online who jump to asking about your bra size and all that. It just isn’t smart.

Well, maybe if you don’t show up alone. You know what con he’s talking about and Kara from Econ lives near there. You could probably convince her to meet up. Hm, that might work.

Just like you told him, you’ll have to think about it.

#andy barber #dark andy barber #dark!andy barber #andy barber x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #end game #series #defending jacob

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jaysficarchive · 7 months ago

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Villain's Wife Support Group

Chapter 1: Initiation

Synopsis: The wives of some of the most infamous villains in the world meet every Wednesday to share stories, give updates, and talk about love on the wrong side of the law.

Relationship(s): Various

Warning(s): Mention of SA, mention of child murder

Tag list: @floof-ghostie @calciumcryptid @mayameanderings

"Hello, ladies, and thank you all for coming."

A group of women exchanged "Hello"s either taking or adjusting their seats. Most of them were older, a few young faces in the crowd. One could tell a bit of their personalities just from looking at the choices in decor.

People from all different parts of the country gathered in front of their computers for one purpose: a common type of spouse.

"Welcome, everyone," a small, round woman with dark brown skin and short black hair spoke. Dressed in a silky robe lined with fur, it was easily to tell she was relaxing after a long day at work. "My name is Christine. I'm the founder of this group."

Some of the others waved at her while others said hellos. The positive reception pleased Christine.

"This is initiation day where we basically introduce ourselves, talk about what we do for a living, maybe a little bit about ourselves then introduce costumed criminal we're married to."

A simple enough task. These people were just getting to know each other, after all. Making a good first impression was highly encouraged to most, critical to some.

"I'll go first. My name is Christine Chapel. I work as a cabaret performer under the name Belle Holiday, my favorite gemstones are amethysts and pearls, and my husband is the Music Meister."

Another woman with copper brown skin and the same jet black hair spoke next. "I'm Brandice Bivolo. I'm an elementary school teacher and my husband is the Rainbow Raider. A few of my hobbies are metalworking, playing instruments, and calligraphy."

Both her style and the background behind her could easily be described as bohemian, hipster. With all the crystal necklaces and bright, earthy colors of her clothes, it wasn't hard to see why someone like him fell for her.

The other members took turns introducing themselves. A notable face was Marina Lulit, a prominent Floridian socialite and wife of one K'an of Tenochtitlan. If what she said about him being the ruler of an underwater kingdom was true, she probably had lots of stories to tell.

Eve, an older Black woman from the Deep South, was the wife of Hollow, phantom of the railroads. Christine was a big fan of the ostrich feather lamp behind her; and of the overall vibes of her room in general. She must've had some truly wild stories--probably even moreso than her own with Music Meister.

Who could forget the ever gracious Mona Lisa Beauvais. It was for the better she be in this group since her fiance Riddler was still in Arkham. Her room was another's Christine admired--with its mix of old Hollywood and urban aesthetics.

Christine clapped her hands together. "Now that that's done, I'm gonna cut to the chase. This is a support group for all women and femmes who are either married or engaged to villains."

"Let's go over a few ground rules. First, when I say all women and femmes, I mean it. I will not tolerate any bullshit. Second, no child murderers or rapists. Made that very clear in the rules on Facebook. Lastly, be respectful about each other's tastes. We already deal with enough shaming from the media."

The other members nodded along in agreement, some even mumbling their support of Christine's ground rules.

"Anymore questions?" Christine looked around.

"When do we meet?" Brandice asked.

"We meet every Wednesday," Christine replied. "Make sure to let me know if you can't make it to a meeting ahead of time."

"What are we gonna do in this group?" Marina asked. "I mean, I know this ain't a club but we gotta do something fun every once in a while."

She's right, Christine said to herself. No one would want to spend the whole time moping and telling stories. "I do plan on having some events including a girls trip. Nothing concrete yet, of course."

After a few more questions and another run down of things, the members all exchanged goodbyes before going their separate ways.

Alone, Christine gently closed the computer. It was just her in a large, luxurious house. Sighing, she headed to the kitchen for a drink. Usually the house would be filled with the sounds of Music Meister playing his piano or singing to his favorite songs. Christine would join in, maybe even dance along to his voice.

Today, only silence. Just a few hours ago, Christine went through the worst moment of her life since the car accident--the trial of her husband. It wasn't being alone that distressed her; rather the amount of attention she got. In the span of a few hours, she went from a private citizen to having cameras and microphones in her face as she left the Gotham City Courthouse.

Heaven knows what they'd say about her and her relationship. All the wrongful insinuations, false narratives, invasive questions.

These were about to be the longest three years ever.

#fic: villain's wife support group

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drabbles-mc · 2 years ago

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Welcome Home (pt. 2)

Steve Murphy x F!Reader

You can find Part 1 Here

Warnings: 18+, alcohol

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: I wrote the first part of this way back in August as part of a fic-a-day challenge and I have been thinking about it on-and-off ever since. I'm finally getting around to adding a little bit to it. You know me, I cannot guarantee regular updates but I just love me some fic for Steve so I couldn't not write some more for it. I have a lot of feelings about Miami Steve and now he has a Miami Raeder to go with him. This chapter and the first are a little more Steve-centered but as the story goes on there will be more of his whole dynamic with Reader as well. Anyway! Hope you enjoy!

Narcos Taglist: @garbinge @meadowofsinfulthoughts @winchestershiresauce @sizzlingcloudmentality @alm0501 @panagiasikelia @616wilsons @hauntedforsst @mirabee @buckybarneshairpullingkink @boomclapxox @nessamc @southotheborder @supersanelyromantic @padbrookcottage @mysun-n-stars @raincoffeeandfandoms @bport76 @marrianena @ashlingnarcos @passionatewrites @artemiseamoon (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

The two of you ended up standing and chatting, muddling your way through a few minutes of small talk that maybe should’ve felt more awkward than it was. It wasn’t lost on you that you were dressed for your daily run while he was dressed like someone who had a meeting to get to. He didn’t come off as stuffy, despite the polo and the khakis. He seemed nice enough, if not a little exhausted. The drawl in his voice didn’t go unnoticed by you as the two of you chatted. It was different—he might’ve been coming back to Miami but he definitely didn’t start here. You liked it, though. Honestly, he was even kind of cute in a lanky, dorky sort of way.

He still hadn’t said where he was coming home from, and you still hadn’t asked, but something told you that wherever he was coming from, it was a tiring flight if not a tiring stay altogether. You were sure that he had places to be, and you wanted to make it back home before traffic got bad and finishing your run became more of a health hazard than a health benefit.

“Sorry.” You shook your head. “I won’t keep you.” You wrangled your laugh just enough to say, “Just didn’t want the birds taking off with your socks.”

He smiled, shaking his head as he spoke, “Don’t gotta apologize, I appreciate it.”

The words see you around were on the tip of your tongue, but you actually had no idea if that was true. The beach was within jogging distance from your house, that was how you ended up there in the first place as you took your daily run. But for all you knew Steve lived on the opposite end of the city.

You knew that asking where he lived would be strange, so instead you opted to just be honest. “I’d say ‘see you ‘round’ but I don’t actually know if that’s true.” You shrugged, smiling as you said, “But either way, welcome home.”

He chuckled, “Thanks.” He looked back over your shoulder, the words tumbling out and continuing the conversation before he even thought about it, “Used to come here all the time back when the little shack was open.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Oh, so you’ve been gone awhile.”

His face scrunched for a moment. “What do you mean?”

You’d made the statement with such confidence, which threw him a little bit. He hadn’t told you how long he’d been gone. Maybe it would’ve gotten under his skin a little more if you hadn’t had a bit of a smile on your face as you said it. He had to remind himself that he didn’t have to be on the defensive all the time. Things were okay. Really, things could be a hell of a lot worse than standing on the beach with a pretty girl who had taken time out of her day to try and help him out a little bit.

He was reined back into the conversation as you explained yourself. “She retired a little over a year ago.” You sighed sadly, just as bummed as he was about the loss of the establishment. “No one has stepped up to buy the property, though. So it’s just been sitting there.” You shrugged. “Almost like it better that way, honestly. Nothing that moves in is gonna be as good.”

He chuckled. “That’s true.”

“Alright, local boy,” you laughed more to yourself than to him, “I’m gonna try and finish my run. Maybe I will see you ‘round.”

He smiled at you. “See you.”

Steve waited and watched for a moment as you took off at a quick clip to wherever you were off to next. It wasn’t until he turned back to his luggage that he realized that he never got your name. He was so thrown by you taking the time to stop and talk that he completely forgot to ask, and now it was too late. He shook his head at himself, partially for forgetting, but also partially because it wasn’t as though it was likely that he was going to be seeing you again anytime soon. There were plenty of people in Miami, the probability of the two of you just so happening to run into each other again was slim to none.

He sat down on the bench next to his suitcases, hoping he would be enough of a deterrent for the birds. He watched as the waves lapped at the shore and realized that the tide was going out. He used to know the timing of it almost perfectly, not that it ever really mattered for him. It was just part of his old routine. He wondered if it would become part of his new one, too.

He lost track of how long he had been sitting there, but the sidewalk and streets started to get busier, telling him that maybe it was time to think about finally heading back. He could only put it all off for so long. With a deep sigh, he grabbed his bags and went to wait and flag down the next taxi that he saw.

This drive was shorter than the one from the airport to the beach. For the actual distance of it, it shouldn’t have taken quite as long, but traffic didn’t move quickly no matter where he was, Bogotá or Miami. At least some things were consistent.

The sky was just starting to turn color as Steve pulled his suitcases out of the back seat of the cab. He thanked the man before shutting the door and turning back to the house that he hadn’t set foot in for a long time. He knew that everything was going to be just as he left it, hopefully, just with dust collected on top of it. He still couldn’t help wondering if it was actually going to feel like home, or if it was just going to seem like another place he would stay for a few years before getting rotated out again. Leaving Miami had been difficult, saying see you later to a life that he had known so well— but coming back felt harder. Or maybe it wasn’t coming back to Miami, necessarily, maybe it was the fact that he was really, finally, done in Colombia.

He toyed with the keys in his hand, letting them jingle against each other as he procrastinated on opening the door. With a shake of his head, he slipped the key into the lock and turned it, not letting himself pause against as he pushed the door open and walked inside.

The air felt stale, stifling. He walked deeper into the house, leaving his suitcases in the open doorway as he made his way deeper into the house. He opened all the windows as he went, hoping to get air flowing through the small house as quickly as possible. He noticed that he had been right—everything was just a dustier version of what it had been when he left. All the picture frames were still perfectly in place, books neat and orderly on the shelves in the living room and his bedroom.

Sliding open the door that led into his small, fenced-in back yard, he couldn’t help but to smile at the fact that his neighbor must’ve been taking the time to mow it periodically while he was gone. It was just as much an act of kindness as it was self-serving so they didn’t have an eyesore to look at every time they went into their own back yard. He would have to make a point to thank them.

It also made him think that maybe he should’ve hired someone to stop in every couple of months to dust the place down, or even just have someone stop in once a few days prior to him getting home. But he didn’t really know when that was going to end up being until it happened. That was the reason that a lot of his belongings from his Colombia apartment were still in some phase of the shipping process. He wondered when they’d make it home.

He slowly made his way back towards his front door. It was so different, feeling like he didn’t need to immediately shut and lock all of the doors the second he got home. He wasn’t the type to periodically leave his doors unlocked even when he lived in Miami before, but in Colombia, flipping the locks was habitual and necessary if you wanted to ensure the safety of yourself and your things. He looked out at the small patch of grass that passed for his front yard before looking up and down the road at all the neighboring houses. It crossed his mind that he didn’t really remember exactly what all of them had looked like before, if any of them had gotten paint-jobs in the time that he’d been gone. He had to assume that some of the houses had been bought and sold in the time he was away. He wondered who his new neighbors were. The irony of it struck him and made him smile when he realized that technically he would be the new neighbor—that’s what he gets for leaving and coming back.

Finally shutting the front door, he did lock it. He unlaced and left his shoes by the front door before dragging his luggage to his bedroom. Standing just inside the doorway, he couldn’t help but to sigh at the sad state of it all. He’d stripped the mattress and pillows of their covers before he left, and almost his entire closet was empty because he’d packed it up and taken it with him. The emptiness was a bit depressing even though he knew that as he got the rest of his things over the next few weeks it wouldn’t be empty much longer.

The first thing he did was dig a set of sheets and a comforter out of the closet. Even though the sheets were just plain white, and the blanket was navy blue with white stripes, it still made the room feel a little more inviting.

Steve hefted his suitcase onto the bed, unzipping it and flipping the top open. He knew that he should unpack all of it, but he didn’t. He had plenty of time to get around to that. For now, he just grabbed his toiletries and made his way towards the bathroom, pulling a towel from the linen closet on the way. Even though it didn’t quite feel like he’d come home yet, there was some comfort in still knowing where everything was without having to think about it.

He stayed under the showerhead until the water ran cold. It took a lot longer than it did in Colombia, and he was glad for that. When he finally shut the water off and peeled the curtain back, he was almost suffocated by the thick layer of steam that had taken over the bathroom. Even with the small window open, it still wasn’t enough to mediate it. He chuckled quietly to himself as he grabbed the towel, quickly drying himself off before wrapping it around his waist and heading back to his room to change into a set of clothes that didn’t smell like the airplane he’d spent far too many hours on.

Walking back to the kitchen, he saw that it was almost completely dark out. He wondered if he should just call it an early night and go to bed, because he was exhausted. Just as he was about to start shutting off all the lights, his stomach growled. That’s when it hit him that he hadn’t ended up getting anything to eat since his disappointing discovery earlier about his old go-to spot.

Opening one of the small drawers next to the fridge, he pulled out a stack of takeout menus. He leafed through, looking for a place that was hopefully still in business and would deliver so he wouldn’t have to leave the house. He would worry about grocery shopping tomorrow. Dialing the number of the pizza place, he opened the fridge as he rattled off his simple order to the kid on the other end of the line, and he tried not to laugh at the fact that after so many years, there were still two beer bottles sitting at the back of the fridge. He knew that they weren’t good anymore. He knew that, but it still crossed his mind for a split second to drink them before he shut the fridge and grabbed a glass out of the cabinet instead.

He was almost asleep on the couch when the doorbell rang. Sitting up, he shook his head, trying to wake himself up a little bit. Pulling the money out of his pocket, he reached for the door with his other hand. It was a quick exchange with the kid who was holding the pizza box in his hand, a kid who, to Steve, barely looked like he was old enough to be driving the car he was delivering pizzas with. He was polite, though, thanking Steve for the tip and wishing him a good night before taking back off towards the car again. Steve lingered in the doorway for a moment before shutting and locking it again.

When he woke up the next morning, he was still on the couch. He huffed out a tired laugh as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Put the effort in to make the bed and he still slept on the sofa. That felt just like life in Colombia. He cleaned up the little bit of a mess left from the night before, then proceeding to get dressed and ready for the day. He figured that he’d grab coffee on his way to the store since he had none at the house.

By some miracle, his car started up. It sputtered and took a moment, and Steve really did think that it was going to be another thing that he had to add to the list of stuff to deal with while he tried to get his feet back under him, but it pulled through.

His first full day back was so ordinary that it almost felt wrong. The part of his day that took the longest was waiting in line at the coffee shop. He just pulled into the lot of the first one that he saw, not caring about the wait. It wasn’t as though he was on a time-crunch of any kind. He meandered through the store, list in his hand but he wasn’t really paying attention to it. The shopping cart was filled with a lot of things that weren’t written down beforehand. He quickly realized that shopping with an empty house was very similar to shopping on an empty stomach. At least now he had a fresh case of beer to put in the fridge.

He spent the rest of his afternoon after getting back to the house unpacking and trying to clean up a bit. Luckily he had never really been one to hoard things, to accumulate clutter. Decorating in general had never been a priority which left the places he left looking a bit bare but at least there weren’t a lot of extra things to dust off or wash.

He was unpacking the last bag that had stayed with him on the plane. His duffle bag had turned into a bit of a catch-all for the little items that he didn’t want to ship separately but couldn’t be easily packed into his real luggage. Reaching down into the bag, he pulled out the smaller bag that housed his camera. A weary smile crossed his face as he brought it out to the living room, setting it in one of the open spaces on the bookshelf there. He wondered when his box from Colombia with all the photos was going to arrive. He took pictures of more than just the atrocities of it all—he captured the beautiful parts of Colombia as he went along as well. He was hoping to frame some of those and maybe actually have some semblance of décor scattered around his house now.

It was well into the afternoon when he hit a bit of a lull of things to do. Because of how intensive, and eventually successful, his stint in Colombia had been, the DEA gave him a bit of paid leave time before he had to get back to working full-time again. When he first heard that, it sounded like one of the best things that he’d ever heard. Years of nonstop exhaustion and stress and fear had left him drained, so a few weeks to just loaf around before submerging himself into it all again sounded perfect. He hadn’t accounted for the fact that he no longer really knew how to operate outside of his work. A lot of his buddies that had been in Miami when he left, had transferred or moved. Javi was the closest thing that he had to a friend stateside these days, and he had been pulled back to Colombia. Even if he hadn’t, it wasn’t as though Laredo was a short road trip away from Miami. If he didn’t start finding new, better ways to fill his time, he was going to end up cutting his leave short.

#narcos netflix #narcos #steve murphy x you #steve murphy #steve murphy x reader #narcos netflix fanfiction #narcos fanfiction #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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