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venusindelusion · 2 months ago

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Giving In (to the Love): Too Sweet

3rd chapter

SUMMARY: Being in charge of someone's education was heavier than you thought, but tonight doesn't have to be all about books and notes. PAIRING: Vi (Arcane) x Fem!Reader WK: 4K WARNINGS: bit of angst, mentions of alcohol, cursing A/N: slow slow slow burn Previous chapter

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After that encounter in the cafeteria you're left feeling nervous and mad, how could she make fun of you so lightly? Didn't her sister told her you weren't the one giving her booze?

You decide to skip your next lesson and head straight home. Once you're inside the elevator, you look for your phone inside your bag and send a text to Caitlyn asking her what time is she coming over.

The elevator stops at your floor and while you're searching for your keys, you see Caitlyn standing in front of your apartment door, carrying some bags on one hand and the other one typing on her phone.

"I didn't know you were here." you say as you approach her, smiling and looking curiously at her bags.

"I wanted to surprise you but I forgot to bring the spare keys you gave me." she says as you turn the key around and open the door.

Once inside, Caitlyn leaves the bags on the table and takes out the fast food she had bought, preparing everything for both of you to eat lunch together. You get into the bathroom and wash your hands and face, then look into the mirror; you felt like shit, and you could feel your mind spinning a thousand miles a second— guilt was cursing through your veins and you couldn't help but wonder what it was about.

Except you did know.

You grab a towel and dry both your hands and face, feeling like cold water didn't do much to your anxiety so you get out of the bathroom and sit in front of your best friend at the table. Both of you start chatting about your day; she tells you that her boss, Marcus, had been driving her crazy all day long until she finally found those papers he was asking for and then let her off for the day. You told her about all the exams you had to grade and then mentioned that Violet's was in that pile too.

"So you took revenge, huh." she says jokingly and chuckles.

"In my defense, it was a mess anyway and," you feel your stomach tied up in a knot, thinking if it was really okay for you to tell her— no, to do it entirely, "now I have to tutor her, so the universe punished me for it already."

You can't decipher what her expression means while she's looking at you but she keeps chewing on her food and laughes lightly. The awkwardness doesn't leave your body and you start thinking you may be going insane, why did you think so much of it? It was just tutoring.

"If it makes you feel any better, she's smarter than she gives on."

What was supposed to make you feel relieved just had the opposite effect. You didn't know they were that close, Caitlyn never mentioned her before that night and now it felt like she was keeping more from you than she might be telling. She is supposed to be your best friend, why wouldn't she tell you she was seeing someone if they were that close?

Food already eaten, you get off your seat and clean the table, grabbing the remaining leftovers and putting them in the fridge for later. You felt a bit sad, and maybe jealous. There was a part of Caitlyn's life you weren't aware of and, for some reason, now you were afraid to ask.

Working after classes sucked, but what sucked even more was having to look for someone who could cover her at work; it couldn't be just anyone. She wouldn't care if the place belonged to someone else and her life didn't literally depend on it, but "The Last Drop" was hers to take care of now. Well, almost.

"Can't pick you up today, Powder." she says, holding her phone on her ear with one hand and organizing bottles on the shelf with the other. "Come straight home, okay? I don't want you messing around again."

Violet could hear her younger sister complaining on the phone about how controlling she was and what plans she already had that night with her friends. It was always the same argument so she let Powder vent about it while she was rearranging the expensive bottles' shelf, hoping that the old wood would resist the weight and not make her lose thousands of dollars. She needed to replace those shelves.

"Look, Pow-pow," holding her phone between her neck and shoulder, Vi kept on trying to convince her sister, "bring Ekko if you want, I could use his help anyway."

With her little sister convinced, Violet put down the phone on the bar and looked over the place; everything needed to be done and she was already feeling tired, both physically and mentally.

All day she had been going around, signing papers and then attending classes. The only time in the day she could actually relax— or unleash some stress, was in the ring; throwing punches, sweating, analyzing her opponent's movements just to finally bring them down. She felt capable, strong and even good at it.

But this? Going to college, watching over her sister, working and barely sleeping; that was hard. It felt impossible at times.

"You've got a good heart," she remembered her father saying, "don't ever lose it. No matter how the world tries to break you."

Those words were like fuel for her, that memory has kept her going for years and it still worked now. She had to bear, just a bit longer.

Violet grabbed her phone again and sent a text to Caitlyn, letting her know that she'd probably be busy the rest of the week because she needed to study. Hard. She got an instant reply, "We'll meet as soon as you can."

Feeling relieved, Vi sighed and continued cleaning and organizing everything at the bar. She was thankful for meeting Caitlyn, it was not long ago and she was already changing her entire life— is this how hope felt? It's been years since she had something to look forward to.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, The Last Drop was ready to be opened but still no one could cover for her. Hearing the keys from the backdoor alerted Violet that her sister was finally home, so she went to greet both Powder and her friend.

"I brought some donuts from work." said Powder, leaving the box on the table. "Although they're dry, that's why I got to bring them."

Violet grabbed one and muttered something about the donuts being dry indeed, but she shrugged it off and ate one anyway. She started her way back to the bar, Ekko following behind her and eating his own dry donut.

"Powder told me about your tutoring lessons," he said as he was chewing, "I can cover for you here, you know."

"I didn't ask."

"I'm offering." he replied as soon as he saw his friend's expression, she was clearly uncomfortable and unexperienced when it came to receiving some extra hands. "C'mon, Vi. I know how the business works and I can handle tough costumers."

Violet had to think about it for a bit; it's true that he knew how the bar worked and handling drunken men wouldn't be a problem for him— if anything, God help the idiot who dared to mess with him, but she had never left anyone to run the place without supervision, not even her sister. However, she didn't really have any other option, she couldn't afford to close for even one night. Those debts wouldn't pay themselves.

"Be puntual, no drinking while working and no letting Powder steal any booze, got it?"

"Got it."

She gave him a nod and finished her donut, then went to the back to let Powder know that she was going to be busy the rest of the night. After a short speech about being responsible, helping Ekko and making her swear that if anything came up she would call her immediately, Violet made her way upstairs and into the apartment.

It was strange having some free time on her hands, she was used to running around and work all night until late, but she figured it was a well deserved break; although she was worried about leaving Ekko and Powder in charge of the place.

"She's ready," Violet thought to herself, it was about time to give her sister more credit. She deserved it, after all; Powder was way smarter than most people, only lacking in concentration but that's normal for a teenager, and Vi wouldn't want her little sister feeling like she had to behave like an adult so soon.

Headed towards the bathroom, Violet decided she could use a hot shower and got inside the bathtub, filled it up with water and added her sister's bath salts into it. She had never tried them, but Powder was always telling her about how relaxed she would feel after if she tried them, so she did. And maybe it was because she was completely drained of energy, but it felt like they were working.

She could feel her body relaxing, her shoulders no longer tense and her eyes blinking heavily— these salts were like magic.

Once she finished cleaning and drying her body, she walked into her bedroom and chose some comfortable pants and a big sized T-shirt, then some bandages for her knuckles; today's training had been more intense than usual and she had forgotten to clean her wounds and covering them.

Back into the living room, Violet turned on the TV and laid down on the couch. This was the whole day off experience, now she just had to wait for her new tutor to text her so she could let her in.

Except, she didn't ask nor she gave her number, but there was no time to think about that as her eyes started closing on their own until she fell profoundly asleep.

The sun was already going down and Caitlyn had already left your place, wishing you good luck and telling you to let her know once you were back safe and sound. After taking a shower, you go to your room and decide what to wear; you weren't sure if you were supposed to dress comfortable or as if you were going out— it was a bar, after all. You remember Violet saying she would close the place so you could study at peace and decide to wear some casual but cute clothes, then grab your bag and turn off all the lights. Once you're out of your apartment, you grab your phone and attempt to send her a text, but she never gave you her number, and you didn't gave her yours. You shrug it off and think that she must surely remember you were going over and call the elevator.

You decide you would walk to the bar instead of calling a cab, it was a beautiful night and you were still going to arrive earlier than expected, hoping the walk would calm your nerves even a little. It was the first time you had to tutor someone, you were used to grading exams and doing other academic work but being in charge of someone's education felt heavier than that, specially when you were asked to do it by Viktor; he was more than a professor to you, you looked up to him and you wanted to be as smart and dedicated as he was. It was clear you didn't want to let him down, that's the only reason you accepted in the first place.

The Last Drop was near now and you could see all the lightning coming out from the inside, strong neon colorful lights illuminating even its surroundings outside, the big shiny sign spelling its name and announcing the beggining of your night with your new student. Sighing heavily, you open the door and let the loud music penetrate your ears, you could smell the scent of cigars and sweat, people sitting in different tables chatting and drinking. You were confused now, this seemed far from being closed and you couldn't see Violet anywhere. Walking over to the bar counter, you can see the barman working hard as he was preparing two drinks simultaneously while receiving more orders from group of girls who were clearly going to keep him busy.

"Excuse me—" you say lifting up your finger in an attempt to get his attention, but he doesn't even flinch. "Excuse me!" you yell a bit louder and he turns around to look at you.

"Hey, what are you having?" he asks now looking at you.

"I'm looking for Violet. She works here, right?"

"Oh, you must be her tutor." he says while smiling, you give him a small nod. "That door back there," you follow his finger pointing to an old wooden door, "go upstairs and knock on your left."

Thanking him, you walk over to the door he pointed and read its sign "Personal Only", feeling a bit odd about crossing a forbidden door, you twist the knob and walk upstairs; it was a small place, you could feel the humidity on your skin and the lightbulb over your head twinkling like begging to be retired, the stairs were squeaking under your steps until you were finally facing the left door the barman had mentioned. You knock on it twice and wait, although a few minutes pass by and no one answers, so you knock three times and yell Violet's name. Still no answer. You hear some steps coming from the stairs and turn your head around.

"No answer?" moving her blue haired braids behind her shoulders, she shoves her hand inside her pockets and takes out a key. You greet her as she opens the door and lets you in first, chuckling for no apparent reason to you and leaves her keys on the table. You leave your bag on the same spot, feeling a bit uncomfortable being at someone else's house, someone you don't know that didn't even open the door for you. Maybe she forgot you were coming. "Vi, wake up!" you heard Jinx yelling.

Peaking to where the yelling came from, you see Violet laying on the couch with one leg spreaded and her feet touching the floor. She shuffles while her sister keeps yelling at her and then opens her eyes, looks at Jinx and then at you. Her eyes open wide and she sits straight on the couch, rubbing her eyes and murmurring, "I fell asleep."

"Yeah, no shit." her sister answers while she opens the fridge and takes out a bottle. "I'll be downstairs, bye." she opens the door and leaves both of you alone.

"Sorry, I wasn't planning on sleeping," she says now looking at you.

"Well, we should begin." you sit down at the table and watch her sitting in front of you. She handles you a glass of water and you softly thank her, taking a sip and feeling your throat was more drier than you noticed, your hands were shaking as you grabbed everything you brought from your bag; some books, your own notes and her failed exam.

"Cait said you're good at this," she says, "so please enlighten me." the smirk she gives you makes you both furious and nervous, you couldn't figure if she was really taking this seriously.

You decide to be the bigger person and ignore all her snarky comments so the lesson could begin. To your surprise, she took in everything you told her and she was a quick learner as well; listening carefully to your explanations and even taking her own notes, asking questions about the book and what she lacked in the exam. You tell her she should focus more on certain chapters and the logical part of the subject because, even though Viktor appreciated debates on his classes, his exams put emphasis on the scientific part and not so much on the student's interpretations.

As you continue the lesson, you start to think Caitlyn was right— Violet was way smarter than you thought.

Both of you decide to take a little break from studying and she brings snacks, putting the books and notes aside, she asks, "So how do you know Cait?"

"We've been friends since highschool, " you answer, "she was running some sort of campaign so each class could vote for a delegate or something. She convinced me to sign and we're inseparable since then." Violet laughs at that and makes you smile.

"Sounds like her." Curiosity got the best out of you and you ask her the same question. "Well, we—" someone opens the door, it was the barman. He starts telling Violet he needed her help with a drunk costumer, saying he was getting violent and couldn't calm him down. "Be right back." she says and leaves with him.

You sit there eating chips and waiting for her to be back, but then half an hour passed and you were feeling like a soldier's wife. Worry grows in the back of your head, what if something happened to her? Violet looked strong but that drunk violent customer could be stronger, and she didn't seem like the type of girl to walk out of a fight.

Unable to deal with your own head, you get off your seat and walk to the door. Just when you were about to twist its knob, the door suddenly slides wide open, startling you. It was Violet, standing in front of you, a bit sweaty but generally unharmed; she was so close to you, the air leaving out of her mouth when she apologized for taking so long felt like a fresh breeze against your face and you couldn't stop starring at her little scar on her upper lip. You wonder how she got that one and if she had any other somewhere on her body.

Before you could shake that thought off, you realised she might have noticed your stare because she licked her lip, just where the scar was, and smirked. Blood rushing to your cheeks, you turn your gaze somewhere else and say, "It's okay, I was just worried..."

"Come." she says and starts walking downstairs. You follow her steps into the bar, still feeling embarrassed, and at the end of the stairs you notice the overwhelming silence compared to the loudness of music when you first arrived. The bar was now closed and empty, just the two of you there. She goes behind the counter and grabs a bottle of whisky, pouring it into two glasses while you walk around to take a better look at the place. Warm lighting was on now that the neon lights were off, beautifully illuminating the decorated walls; pictures with different people on it hanged on them, most had a very muscular and tough looking man smiling with someone— you couldn't recognize anyone, but you could tell they were close to each other and that moment was definitely worth immortalizing on a frame. There were also drawings clearly made by a child, full of colours and love and joy, and you see one with two girls in it; a pink haired one with boxing gloves on her hands, fighting some sort of wolf while the blue haired one was cheering on her, a little toy monkey by her side. It made you smile.

"Powder made them." Violet says behind you, scaring you off a bit. She approaches you and hands you a drink, standing beside you now.

"Is it Jinx or Powder?" you ask sipping a bit of your whisky, you can feel it burning your throat and your nose scrunches making Violet chuckle.

"Powder, but everyone calls her Jinx." she answers, "Stupid nickname."

You hummed and watched her going behind the bar counter again, so you decide to sit in one of those fancy tall seats in front of her. You put your glass down and she refills it then her own.

"What happened to the violent costumer?" you ask.

"Kicked his ass and sent him home." she sips her whisky like it's juice, meanwhile you're already feeling dizzy. Strong liquor shouldn't be near you but you couldn't refuse when she refilled your glass again. You had to admit, her presence was strong; she was someone you couldn't ignore if she walked into a room, it's like her confidence drawn you in, clouding your senses and making you want more. It didn't exactly help that she was hot as hell. Still, you couldn't get out of your head the fact that the night you met her, she had been locked up in the bathroom with your best friend.

Both of you keep drinking and chatting, your curiosity growing stronger as you ask her if she runs this place all on her own, feeling pity when she answers, "Yes, been on it since my dad died."

Doubting a little but feeling the booze cancelling your inhibitions, you ask her, "What happened to him?"

"He got sick, " her expression changes, her jaw clenches and she takes another long sip at her glass, you watch the liquor going down her throat and then she speaks again, "it was a few years ago, Powder was still a child."

"And you?" you could feel your stomach tied up in a knot.

"Someone had to take care of things." she says while looking to the wall filled with pictures and drawings, her face seemed calmed like she was already used to this kind of life but you couldn't stop the sadness. "When he was in bed, he used to do these animal-like groans because of the pain, " surprisingly she smiles at that, "Powder used to say he sounded like a wolf."

You couldn't take it anymore and started sobbing, Violet looked at you surprised and then laughed, which made you feel embarrassed.

"Don't laugh, I'm already drunk." you tell her, rubbing your eyes and looking at her with your eyes furrowed.

She walks out from behind the counter and keeps laughing, standing beside you and helping you off your seat, she says, "Can't take strong booze, cupcake?"

That dumb nickname made your face go on fire, it didn't help that she was grabbing your waist to help you keep your balance and you could smell her scent, a mix of whisky and perfume, the warmth of her body next to yours as she was guiding you upstairs again.

"You'd know that, " you tell her, trying so hard to put one feet in front of the other, "you took a pic of it."

Violet opens the door to her place and helps you inside, she walks you to her bedroom and watches you sitting down on her bed. She leaves you there and you take a look at the room, it was tidy and well organized; her night stand had a frame of Powder, herself and their father. She comes back with a cup of coffee and hands it to you, looking at you expectantly. You take a sip of the coffee and make a face of disgust.

"I don't drink coffee."

"Yeah, I can tell." you answer her, still drinking that disgusting liquid she dares to call coffee. You can feel her gaze burning on you, the concern in her eyes even if she was making fun of you, it made your heart soften.

"Stay here tonight, I'll sleep on the couch." she says and puts her hand on your shoulder.

You inhale heavily, trying to ignore the sensation of her touch, even something as small as a reassuring hand is clouding your senses now. It wasn't just the booze anymore.

"Can't you sleep in your sister's room?" you ask her, trying to put your mind somewhere else.

"That's a rat nest," she chuckles and crunches her nose, "sleeping outside is safer." You hand her the empty cup and lay down, covering your legs with the sheets, her scent was impregnated in the pillow. Violet was still looking at you, her face inexpressive.

"I never gave your sister booze, " you say and she looks at you confused, "the other night, at the party, it wasn't me."

"I know," she closes her eyes and sighs, "that's just Powder testing my patience."

"An apology would be good," you say jokingly and she chuckles.

"You know what?" she smirks and raises one eyebrow, "If your tutoring is that good and I pass my exams, I'll take it down." You laugh and tell her that you shouldn't be punished for her stupidity, so she pretends to be offended and punches you softly. She watches you blinking heavily and stands up, turning the lights off and stopping at the door frame, "Good night, cupcake."

Humming in response, you close your eyes and let sleep take over you, ignoring the vibrations coming from your phone.

TAGS: @pokiiks

#vi league of legends #vi arcane #arcane vi #arcane #arcane fic #arcane series #fanfic #slow burn #arcane powder #arcane jinx #caitlyn kiramman #viktor arcane #caitlyn arcane #vi x reader #reader insert #vi x fem!reader #venuswrites

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noiriarti · 4 months ago

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The Winner Takes it All: Anakin Skywalker x Reader (Enemies-to-Lovers Modern AU) | Chapter 6

NSFW! Minors DNI!!! Summary: The moment the thesis competition was announced, you knew your biggest threat. Anakin Skywalker, golden boy of the engineering department. He's the only other person smart enough to beat you, and the only other person insane enough to stay in the lab until midnight every night. He's also an asshole, but you're starting to think maybe he's not as bad as you thought he was... Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Fem!Reader CW: a lot of jerking off WC: 8.4k AN: thank you all for your patience!! i started grad school so i got a bit busy, but now i will update about once a week! thank you all for the love :) also i am so sorry about all the angst

Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, Ch. 5, [Ch. 6], Ch. 7, Ch. 8

Chapter 6: Tearing

The afternoon sun filtered through his window shade and cast his room in its warm glow, but Anakin was too busy with his notes on his desk to notice. He needed something to do with his hands, just to keep himself focused, to keep his thoughts from wandering to you. To answer a practice problem, he was trying to find a specific case of heat diffusion the class had discussed--somewhere in October, he thought, but he wasn't quite sure. His desk was already messy before he began studying, but he was making it even worse with a paper thrown here, a staple there.

His eyes scanned the paper this way and that, trying to absorb any iota of information, but the words were slippery, wily things that wriggled out of his grasp. In the end, it turned out he had flipped past the page several times without seeing what he needed, and he finally found it on his fifth pass. Subconsciously, he dug his nails into his palms in frustration. Why couldn't he work? Why were you doing this to him?

His phone chimed, a text from his mom. Hey, how are finals? Doing okay?

For a few days, he'd been ducking questions about whether he was sleeping or eating enough, because he knew she'd be disappointed with his answers. He was running out of ways to change the subject in phone calls, and he knew she was catching on. Anakin decided he should probably respond.

yeah, really stressed about one of them, rest are fine. thesis going ok.

A second later, his phone lit up again.

Good luck. I'm so proud of you, Anakin, no matter what. As soon as he read it, he dropped his head into his hands. His forehead was clammy under his fingers. Of course she was proud of him unconditionally. He knew that. But he knew that he would be even prouder if he won. If he got a 4.0 this semester. Once, after he said something like that to Ahsoka, she looked at him with that knowing expression only she could produce, and asked him if his mom had ever said anything like that. Technically, no, he conceded, but he couldn't let her down.

He just felt so stupid right now, looking at the pages blanketing his desk. He'd been sitting over them for too long, but he couldn't bring himself to get up and stretch or take a break. He couldn't bring himself to do anything, really, let alone focus. So he was trapped. All he could do was just sit there, drink his Red Bull, and kind of review until he could destroy this exam next week.

Anakin decided to try another practice problem. Maybe that would make it click.

The surface tension of liquid argon is given by--

His phone buzzed against the desk. Putting it on loud was a bad idea, and he knew it. Maybe he was just looking for an excuse. It was probably his mom, saying something else. Or, he hoped as his heart jumped, maybe you were coming from the lab early and wanted to meet and study. Or hook up. Or just talk. Whatever, as long as it didn't involve his textbook. His phone buzzed again. And again.

He gave in and opened it. It was you, he found, and he grinned like a lunatic, but caught himself. Then again, he was alone, so it didn't matter, really.

But then he read your texts.

Where are you We need to talk Now

He typed back immediately, his fingers flying faster than he thought they could.

in my room is everything ok?

He looked at the screen, saw the bubbles pop up that meant you were typing, then watched as they disappeared. Anakin was frozen, his phone in his hand. We need to talk could just have been a poor phrasing on your part, right? It didn't mean what he thought it did, right? He could deny it only for about five more seconds, when the little bubbles didn't return.

Fuck. Anakin let loose a string of curses and dropped his phone on his desk. He couldn't think of a single thing that would warrant ending… whatever the two of you had. But maybe you'd realized that he was doing a lot more than what fuckbuddies (fuckenemies?) should do, that he was an absolute wreck for you, and had been for a long time.

The caffeine was getting to him, and his leg was bouncing so quickly that he swore his downstairs neighbor would submit a noise complaint. His mind started racing with all the things he never would have told you, the things that would go unsaid if you ended what the two of you were doing. He'd never tell you that he had two dogs growing up, strays, or that his least favorite flavor of Skittles was orange. He'd never tell you that he was pretty sure that he hadn't felt this way about anyone, ever, and that he had laid awake for the past two nights thinking about how, if at all, he would tell you.

Ahsoka's voice echoed in his ears, wisps of sound urging him to just say something. His mind was racing, a million trains of thought all colliding at once. He should just tell you. He'd never learn your favorite kind of cereal. He hadn't responded to his mom, fuck. He regretted having that Red Bull. He'd never tell you that he called you baby during sex because he wanted to say it other times, too. The answer to that thermo question was probably 36 Joules. He'd never tell you that if you called him a pet name he'd melt and let you win any competition because nothing would matter anymore.

But that was precisely why he hadn't told you how he felt. Because if you felt the same way about him, that would be so much better than any amount of money or award. And that wasn't the kind of person he could be.

He'd spent so long training to control that wild hurricane of emotions that pulled him through everyday life. Anakin channeled it into perfectly neat parallelized circuits and technically exquisite poomsae, but around you it all let loose, angry and passionate and just so much.

It was terrifying. You were terrifying. And there was a selfish part of him that said that he deserved to let all those feelings loose for once. To feel as much as he wanted to feel because, goddammit, he was so tired of control.

But Anakin was a lot. A handful, his teachers always said. It was what ended his previous relationship, what drove Padme away. Would it drive you away, too?

If you walked up to him in two minutes and asked him what the two of you were, if it was just casual or something more, would he have the self-control not to blurt out exactly what he was thinking? His stomach flipped at the idea of you leaving the room, leaving his life, without knowing how he felt.

You walking away from him and disappearing into another part of the country after graduation would kill him. He was pretty sure that seeing you at a reunion in five years with someone on your arm, some beautiful person who you had never hated, would smite him on the spot.

He imagined himself six months from now, when the thesis was over. What would that Anakin want for himself? Would he let himself say something? Fuck it all, he would say. And he was right.

If you were going to end things, he was going to get this off his chest. He had to. He wasn't sure he could live with himself if he didn't.

The sound of knuckles on wood cut through the silent room like a dagger through his heart. One, two, three seconds passed as he sat in his desk chair, mind totally blank. He tried to produce a coherent feeling or, if he was lucky, an entire thought, but he came up empty.

Before, it was all something nebulous, something he could just worry about. Something he could stress about. Now, it was real. You were behind that door, and you needed to talk. And there was no escaping that. With heavy legs, he dragged himself to the door.

Anakin pretended not to notice that his hand was shaking when he wrapped it around the doorknob.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

The bus ride back to your dorm had been uneventful, other than the way you were staring daggers into the skull of some poor guy in front of you. He had the good sense to not turn around.

Anakin Skywalker is a thief. You clenched your fists, and you could barely feel the sting of your nails in your palms. Barriss wasn't one to lie, based on the past three years you'd spent with her. She told you the facts right after: she overheard one of the graduate students--probably Obi-Wan, but she didn't know who, just some vaguely hot older guy, she said--telling Anakin his idea for a thesis. And then Anakin ran with it.

If she was right, that changed everything. If Anakin really didn't come up with his own idea, that meant he had rigged the competition. He had a leg up this whole time. He really was exactly what you had thought for years. The golden boy of the department who had everything handed to him. And while you'd labored over choosing the perfect, most viable but impressive idea, he had just skipped right over that step. You'd cried over how hard it was to find a good idea, struggled for weeks on end last year, just trying to make something good, let alone great. And he was already weeks ahead of you in the competition.

All of his sweet gestures--staying with you in bed, holding hands in the library, getting you drinks--were suddenly less sweet. Last year, he was in the thesis lab with you, when he was working on his proposal, watching you go through ideas and get upset when they didn't work, and he knew that. And he never told you about where his idea came from, even when you were getting closer. He probably knew it would piss you off, and he still didn't tell you. He'd hidden it from you.

You didn't know if that hurt more or less than the unfairness of his advantage.

The bus slowed to a stop in front of your dorm, and you hopped off, then dashed to the elevator.

You just wanted him to tell you that Barriss was crazy, or misheard. Or anything. Anything to make it not true.

The elevator ride was agony as it whizzed up to his floor.

At his door, you hesitated. If you entered and fought, that made this real. So, so real. The second you walked through that door, everything between the two of you might change.

But you were too furious not to knock. Silence hung for a few seconds before you could hear the door unlock.

Anakin opened it to you, looking unfairly hot. Rage ripped through you as he looked at you with open affection, gesturing to enter his room, like nothing had changed. Like he wasn't lying to you all this time. You stormed in quickly.

"Anakin, I need you to be honest with me." Your voice came out tighter than you wanted as you searched his face for a reaction. He closed the door, then came to stand in front of you.

"I'm always honest with you," Anakin replied earnestly, keeping his gaze locked on yours as he forced a small smile.

You didn't smile back. "How did you come up with the idea for your project?"

"What?" Anakin blinked, caught off guard. He let out a breathy chuckle. "That--that's what you wanted to talk about?"

"Well?" You pressed, crossing your arms. The edge in your voice was obvious, cutting. You could see Anakin go through the stages of realizing what you might mean, and your stomach started to sink even deeper.

Anakin sighed, ruffling his hair in frustration. "I--Really? Okay, fine. There aren't currently any microsurgery tools that mimic human hands. They're all pincers. So I wanted to make one." Your gaze narrowed.

"And you're saying Obi-Wan had nothing to do with it?"

"What are you talking about?" It was probably supposed to sound confused, but it came out more scared. You knew him well enough to tell. God, he was infuriating.

"Did you or did you not get your idea from Obi-Wan?" The words came out like tiny daggers, sharpened steel that you spat at him. His face fell, and you could see the moment that he knew you knew.

"Look, it's not like that," Anakin said, his arms falling to his sides. His eyes were suddenly avoiding yours, like his desk suddenly contained some information he desperately needed, or, preferably an escape hatch.

"Then what is it like?" You shot back, your heart racing. You stepped closer, trying to find an answer in his furrowed eyebrows. "Why can't you just say no?"

Anakin's jaw clenched, and he was obviously searching for the right words. Words that wouldn't piss you off, probably. "Because Obi-Wan helped, I guess."

"You guess?!" Your voice cracked, incredulous.

"I mean--look." Anakin raised his hands defensively. "Sure, Obi-Wan put me on the path to it. But every second in the lab since then has been me. My design, my coding."

"What do you mean put you on the path? You mean he gave you the idea, don't you?" Your frustration with him was boiling over. Even now, he was defending himself, trying to evade this. Justifying. It drove you crazy.

Anakin hesitated, his words faltering. "I--It's not--"

"Are you seriously about to say that it's not that simple or something?" You interrupted, your voice shaking. You threw your hands up, your fury finally reaching its peak. "Because, from here, it looks simple. Like you stole your whole fucking thesis idea!"

"That's not true!" Anakin snapped, his voice louder now. It wasn't the same kind of anger you were used to seeing from him, it was defensive, almost panicked. "Obi-Wan, he just, he suggested I look at applying an old project of mine to microsurgery. And he was right. So, I guess, technically, if you're looking at it like that--sure. He gave me the idea."

You stared at him, his words sinking in. His admission hung between you like a guillotine, its rope finally snapped. The air felt tight, like you were ten thousand miles above sea level and there wasn't enough oxygen to keep you afloat.

Anakin shifted again, his anger gone, his voice softer, pleading. "It's like… I don't know. I guess I feel guilty about it. But I really needed to submit something that day, or I couldn't enter into the competition at all. It was the rules. If I don't do a thesis… I--I don't know. I just had to. And I figured I'd just use that temporarily, and pivot as soon as it was approved, It was in the end of junior spring, and I just couldn't find a topic that worked. That idea I had about hand prosthetics didn't pan out, and I was telling Obi-Wan about it in the lab, and he told me I should look at microsurgery, 'cause they have a lot of the same issues--calibrating movement to user input, holding up to wear and tear, dealing with friction and joint movement--and that I should do my thesis on it."

His eyes finally met yours again, so deep and blue that it almost made you reconsider. Almost. He was pleading, begging you to understand. "So, yeah, I submitted an early version of the idea Obi-Wan gave me. But every second of design, build, everything was me. It's my work."

You stood frozen, silent. After a few long beats, Anakin started to fidget, his hands wringing so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"If I could go back, I'd do something else. Anything else." Anakin's voice wavered, and his shoulders slumped under the weight of his guilt. "I just--I didn't know what else to do. I needed to submit something, anything. I need to win this," he finished, his voice trailing off.

The anguish over being proven right was something you didn't expect. You should have felt vindicated, that you were actually right all along about him. You should have hated him. But instead, you could feel your heart breaking, like a marionette with its strings cut, slumped over and lifeless. If he had just admitted it to you himself, maybe you could get over this. Maybe. But the fact that he hid it from you cut like a knife. Tears welled in your eyes, and your throat was drier than you'd ever felt it. The words fell from your lips softly, like you could barely get them out.

"How could you?" You felt like you'd never known him, like the person in front of you was a stranger. How could he be both this person, and the one who would keep you warm at night?

Anakin noticed the coldness of your gaze, and it gutted him. Anakin's breath caught, and you could see him shatter in real time. His cheek twitched, right under his scar, and you could swear you saw his eyes start to fill with tears. His hands were shaking where they were clasped together, and you were sure he was leaving indents with his nails. His shoulders shook under his panicked breaths.

He didn't speak for several long seconds, his mouth tugging this way and that as he tried to think of something, anything, to say.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" He asked as he stepped toward you, trying to seek reassurance to keep him from falling apart. But you couldn't give it. You didn't even know him anymore.

"I--" you opened your mouth, hesitating, before you restarted, "I don't know." Your voice cracked, but you hardened it. "I didn't before, but now I'm not so sure."

Anakin took another step closer, reaching out with his shaking hands as if to touch you, but you backed away. His face flushed even more, hurt and frustration jumping across his features. It made you even more angry. "This is so fucking unfair, and you just--you just let it happen."

He said your name, trying to jump in, but your anger surged, and it drowned him out.

"I spent weeks getting my idea just right." Each words was more brutal than the last. "Weeks. And you got everything spoon-fed to you. Everything I worked for--and you just took it from someone."

Anakin flinched like you had struck him, but you were far from done.

"I thought I knew you, I thought I was wrong about you this whole time," you spat, your fists clenching at your sides, "But I was right all along. You're just a fucking cheater."

A tear slipped down the side of his cheek as you continued. Your voice shook as you admitted to him, and to yourself, what the worst part really was. "And you didn't even have the decency to tell me. And that makes you a fucking asshole."

He shook his head, his eyes stinging as he started to speak. "No, please, it's not--"

"Stop it!" You shouted, your voice cracking with emotion. Anakin stood frozen, his outstretched hand falling limply to his side. Your breath rushed through your nose and your pulse beat in your ears. You couldn't even see him anymore through the tears, but you refused to let them fall. To let him see you cry.

He said your name one more time, begging, pleading. For a moment, you were tempted, but the hurt was too big to ignore.

Your voice was cold, distant. "Get away from me," you ordered. Your back was rigid with anger and hurt. "And leave me the fuck alone."

Without waiting for him to respond, you stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind you.

You stalked down the hall as quickly as you could, ignoring the buzzing in your pocket as the tears you were holding back finally poured down your cheeks. You didn't even have the energy to wipe them away, you just let them fall while you punched the button for the elevator.

Only when the door closed, and you pulled out your phone to call Ahsoka, did you see his messages.

please come back we can talk this out please give me another chance

They were all sent minutes apart. You could hear his voice reading them, desperate and thick with tears. Even though you were angry, angrier than you had ever been at him, the idea of him crying still made your chest ache. And then it made you feel vindicated. But then it made you feel horrible again.

You arrived back to the lobby, then crossed the building to the other elevator bank, trying to avoid the awkward gazes the students passing by gave you. You sniffled wetly, wiping away your tears, as you ran up the two flights of steps that brought you to your room. You unlocked the door as quickly as you could, then hid inside.

Your phone buzzed again.

i understand that you don't want to talk, but the second you're ready, i'll be here. i'll always be here.

The words made you sob loudly, and you were thankful for a moment that Ahsoka wasn't home. Until you saw the text, it hadn't hit you that this was the last time you'd talk for a while. You couldn't even remember the last kiss you two had shared. The library? Was that the kiss you wanted this to end on? You'd never see his half-lidded eyes as he worshipped you, never hear him call you baby again.

Why did he have to go and fuck it all up? You asked yourself, sobs wracking your body as you slid down the door. You couldn't tell if you were more sad or angry, but you were definitely heartbroken. Lately, his casual touches, his affection, the way you slept together every night, it was starting to feel like more. But it was all gone now.

You had been numbed with caffeine and stress, but the past week, you felt like you were soaring every time he touched you. Every time he gave you that intense look he always did.

But the two of you were just hooking up. It wasn't supposed to be anything more, and you never thought you'd feel the pull to be with him when you weren't fucking, but it was like gravity. Even now, you wanted him to comfort you. Not someone, but him.

The realization that you had feelings for him hit you like a truck. All the breath was gone from your lungs, gone to some other dimension.

You liked Anakin Skywalker. Even though he was an asshole. Even though he'd hurt you. But those feelings didn't end just because whatever you were had ended, they didn't leave you alone.

You could have been his girlfriend if he hadn't hidden this from you. And that was the last nail in the coffin that made you break down fully.

You sat there, crying, sobbing, wailing, for at least another half hour before you dragged yourself to the shower. It made you feel the tiniest bit better to have your hair clean, your tears scrubbed off your face until the skin went sensitive and ruddy. When the water turned off, it was cold, and you relished the shock to your system.

And then, you started the process of getting over him. You knew you had to do it eventually, and you only had to get through finals before you could go home and forget all about him. Come January, when you next saw him in the lab, it'd be like seeing any other classmate.

That thought was enough to make you start crying again while you stood in the towel you stole from your house. Your tears mingled with the water from the shower, and it was enough to let you pretend that you weren't crying, that becoming strangers with Anakin didn't kill you inside.

You promised yourself that this would be the last time you cried this semester. That night, if you felt the threat of tears, you just threw yourself harder into whatever you were studying. There was nothing else you could do.

At the thermo exam two days later, you walked in later than you usually would for a final that was this important. When you slipped into the class, two minutes before they started passing out test papers, you spotted Anakin in the corner. Because of course you did. Your eyes hadn't stopped finding him in every photo, in every room. He had always been magnetic, and, just because you weren't together anymore didn't mean that stopped. And he was looking right at you.

His gaze ripped through you with some mix of desperation, affection, and sorrow. Anakin looked, in one word, horrible. His eyes were sunken in, red and swollen from crying. Most people would not have noticed, but you knew him too well. His dark circles had come back with a vengeance, like fresh bruises on his otherwise smooth and clear skin. His mouth twitched when he looked at you, like he was going to say something, but he stayed silent as his eyes followed your path.

Throughout the exam, you could feel his eyes on you a couple of times, but you didn't allow yourself to turn around and look. You let the calm of equations and math wash over you, and soon there was nothing but the test. The questions and the precise way you wrote Greek letters in the blue book lulled you into a state of calm you desperately needed.

When you handed in your exam, you allowed yourself another look at Anakin, and then you left the building. You didn't see him before you went on break two days later.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Two days before break, he saw you again. He hadn't changed his habits, still studied in the dining hall and had meals there, sometimes went to the library, and he secretly hoped, thrummed with anticipation, that maybe, just maybe, you'd be there too. That maybe you'd see him and realize you wanted to talk it out. That, obviously, did not happen. He spent an embarrassing amount of time awake, because you haunted his dreams whenever they came. The disgusted look on your face and the words I was right all along, you're a fucking asshole echoed in the back of his eyelids and his mind's eye whenever he laid down. So, he stayed up. More time to study, right?

He spent most of those 48 hours trying not to cry and failing miserably. Even when he broke up with Padme, it wasn't like this. He was angry, indignant, and, of course, sad, but it was the kind of sadness that settled deep on his shoulders and dulled the world around him. It wasn't the kind of sadness that wrenched sobs from his chest whenever he wasn't careful. It wasn't the kind of sadness that made him regret ever going to this college, ever meeting you.

Ahsoka cast him a funny look at him one night, when he fell asleep in a common room. She gently shook him awake, and noticed the redness rimming his eyes, and the way his hands shook from too much caffeine. She gave him a hug and made him promise to sleep tonight.

He did, and that was the night before the test. Every muscle and joint screamed in protest as he dragged himself from his bed. He arrived fifteen minutes early, just to make sure he got a good seat, and then his head kept swiveling like an owl. Every time the click of the doors opening echoed through the nearly empty lecture hall, he locked onto the person entering. He was pretty sure he'd accidentally given glares to at least four poor souls before you finally entered.

He resigned himself to the fact that he'd probably failed the exam right then.

You were even prettier than he remembered, and the depth of your eyes when you stared at him was enough to make him shudder. Even now, he'd give anything to be with you again. When you sat down and didn't look at him again for the next three hours, he felt bits of his heart break off and get trampled under equations about heat diffusion and air pressure. You turned in your test, and then left, and he looked after you longingly. His eyes snapped back to his paper when he got a weird look from the TA.

He turned in his exam paper, rushed home, and promptly passed out on his bed. You came to him in his dreams, of course. Naked in his arms, lips pliant and wanting under him. The way your tongue peeked out when you were too hard at work, or the shimmer of your eyes when he made you laugh. The betrayal on your face. Get away from me.

He spent the rest of finals in a fugue state, doing tasks and exams because he was supposed to. Then, finally, the last one passed, and he was finally released to go home. He hadn't seen you since the exam, and that was probably better for him, he reasoned.

On day 1 of break, Anakin drove the whole day and listened to absolutely depressing music the whole time. He pulled over once and, in a fit of rage, smacked the steering wheel a few times. How could he be so stupid? How was he this much of an idiot? He sat at the rest stop for another fifteen minutes, his sweaty forehead on the steering wheel. Five hours later, when he arrived home late in the evening, he hugged his mom. Everything felt a little bit better after that. He had dinner with Shmi and Cliegg, even though all he wanted to do was lay in bed and sulk. He fell asleep quickly--he was too exhausted to stay up torturing himself with what could have been.

On day 2 of break, he lay in bed and just generally moped around. He could never be still for long, so that meant getting up to eat snacks, flicking through TV shows listlessly, and trying not to look at the texts you two had exchanged. He only cried twice, once at the thought that you'd never meet his mom, and the other at the memory of your body in his arms as he fell asleep. Both reduced him to hot, silent tears.

On day 3 of break, he did yard work and drove by his old dojang to say hi to his high school coach. He ended up agreeing to teach some lessons over break to avoid having to sit at home alone with his thoughts for three entire weeks. Plus, the money was good. He was pretty sure he wouldn't be getting that thesis prize at all, at this rate. He only cried once, at night, when he thought about having to watch you work in the thesis lab without speaking to you. He wouldn't cross that boundary. You already knew he wanted to talk, and you hadn't texted him back.

On days 4-9, he taught three hours of lessons a day. It was calming, familiar. He only had to splash cold water in his face to avoid getting too upset two or three times per day, but the undercurrent of wondering what you were doing never stopped torturing him. He hadn't touched himself in at least two weeks, and he regularly had to stop his thoughts from drifting away to the last time he was inside you. Every time it happened at home, in bed, he got up and took a cold shower. It served him right. At the end of the week, he went to the mall and bought his mom a Christmas present with the money he earned. Just because he knew his mom wanted to blend their family better, he picked out something small he could afford for Cliegg, Owen, and Beru, too.

On day 10, it was Christmas Eve, so everything was closed. There was nothing to do, so he answered a few emails from Professor Jinn, cleaned the oven, and helped his mom prepare for Christmas dinner. There were files on his device he had prepared specifically to work on his thesis over break, but his project made him nauseous. He'd give it all back for a chance to start over. He'd get a B on his thesis if it would make this pain stop. He didn't touch the files, and, that night, when he finally gave in to the temptation to see if you'd posted anything on social media, he didn't touch his cock, either, even though just an image of you was enough to drive him wild at that point.

On day 11, it was Christmas, and he woke up at 4am in his bed, as hard as a rock. Anakin spent an hour tossing and turning and begging his body to just let him sleep, but, eventually he gave in. It was Christmas, right? He deserved a present. When he closed his eyes, he didn't even try to think of someone else. It was you. It had been for a while. Your little noises as he kissed up your neck, the scrunch of your eyebrows right as you came, and the tight grip of your pussy around him when he buried himself to the hilt inside you were enough to make him cum all over his hand within a minute. He found it embarrassing, honestly, that you had this effect on him. Anakin fell asleep quickly and tried not to feel too gross about what he'd done.

On day 11, attempt 2, he woke up around 11, right before lunch, and came down to wish his mother and Cliegg a merry Christmas. Beru and Owen were supposed to come for dinner, but, this morning, it was just the three of them. Anakin had no particular yearning for Cliegg to be a father figure, he just wanted his mom to be happy. If Cliegg did that, then he'd watch endless movies with the two of them, or get Cliegg a present. But if she didn't want to be with him anymore, Anakin wasn't sure he'd miss him. Their second anniversary was in three weeks, and it was a shock that it had been that much time already. When dinner rolled around, and he greeted Owen and Beru awkwardly, not sure what a person is supposed to say to a newly-acquired sibling. He'd seen them a sum total of maybe ten times, almost all of which had to do with the wedding, so they were in how-was-school and how's-the-new-job and gosh-the-winter-has-been-brutal territory. When Anakin gave them their presents, they seemed overjoyed. He'd gotten them matching scarves, each with their first initial embroidered onto it. It was a miracle they had them in stock at the mall, he thought, but the present seemed to hit the right spot. Cliegg got the aforementioned fishing pole, something his mom had told him he was prattling on about, and he got his mom a beautiful new winter coat. She had been mending hers for years, and water and snow would soak right through it, but when he saw the beautiful down puffer coat in the store window, he knew she'd love it. He was right.

Cliegg got him a Laser Distance Measure, which must have cost a pretty penny, and Owen and Beru got him various engineering gadgets (a nice mechanical pencil for technical drawings and a cable carrying case, respectively). His mother's gift, though, was something he'd never be able to forgive. She had bought him a beautiful, fresh Raspberry Pi set, with 8 GB of RAM. It wasn't the most expensive thing in the world, but the $150 or $200 that it did cost her was enough to make him tear up. He'd mentioned months ago that he was thinking of getting one for some personal projects, something for his portfolio, and she bought it. He had the good sense not to say anything like You aren't supposed to get me presents for Christmas and crushed her in a hug, the kind that whispered I know how much this is worth, and I'm so lucky you're my mom. For a second, he was worried he would cry when he saw the crow's feet appear by her eyes, and he felt how thin the skin on her hands had gotten. When had she gotten so much older? For a terrifying moment, he realized he'd have to live without her one day, but then Cliegg made some comment about how he'd made hot cocoa, and they all gathered around the living room to chat. As the last tendrils of sunlight fell beneath the swath of trees in their backyard, he laughed at something Owen had said, and he felt the tiniest bit less alone. Like maybe it didn't matter if he got an A in thermo or had the best thesis in his year. The notion left him quickly.

On days 12-17, the warm feeling had subsided, and all he could think about was what you were doing. Whether you were moving on, or if you still felt the same way he did. If you wanted him again. The fantasy of you seeing him again and realizing that, oh, actually, you wanted to work it out, and also kiss him, inevitably ended with his hand on his cock and cum on his stomach, then regret and shame for about an hour afterward. Once the studio had reopened, he kept teaching there, but with more hours this time. Also, Anakin could finally open the folder on his computer named Thesis without cringing at it, but barely. His heart still skipped about four beats when he thought about how he'd have to see you practically every day. He pushed thoughts like that from his mind as much as he could. No point in torturing himself more than the actual semester would.

Day 18 was New Year's Eve. He went to a party hosted by some of his high school friends, some rager at a frat house. He just wanted to get drunk, honestly, and this seemed like a great excuse. It was sticky and hot even right outside the door, but the sweaty blast of steam that hit him when someone opened it turned his stomach. But the beer was free, so he wouldn't complain too much. A couple of times, he noticed a girl checking him out over the bone-shaking bass. He might have made a move, if he were a different person. If any one of them was you, or had your smile, or your eyes. As soon as he noticed something that was too different from you, he averted his gaze. They were all cute, he supposed, but that didn't matter. They weren't you. When the countdown started, Anakin retreated, not interested in being pulled into some kiss that stunk of beer. Instead, despite knowing he'd regret it, he sent you a text. happy new year, it read. He blamed the tequila, and went back into the fray of cheering people.

From days 19-24, Anakin kept on keeping. Dishes, teaching, occasional progress on his thesis. He submitted over 20 job applications. Sometime in the week, in his daily rehashing of all your messages, he noticed the read receipt had popped up on his text from New Year's Eve, and he cursed himself. He was cursing himself a lot lately. Especially when he promised he wouldn't jerk off over you, but it always ended up happening. The subtle rock of his hips against the mattress when he thought of you, grinding the hard flesh against the soft material, then the sticky warmth of release and the rush of regret that always came with it. The heat of the shower made him hard when he thought about how he'd always wanted to try fucking in the shower, more specifically, fucking you in the shower. He really shouldn't, he reasoned while his hand pumped his dick.

Day 25 was spent driving again, after he gave his mom a big hug and threw his suitcase in the car. Despite himself, he realized that he was no more over you than he had been on his drive to his house. The fact that he would see you tomorrow still made him perk up and wilt at the same time. In a short twenty-four hours, you'd be real, three-dimensional in front of him again. He wasn't sure what would happen--would you kiss him? Slap him? Combust? He could never tell with you. He wondered if you'd cut your hair over break, or if you'd talked to Ahsoka about him. Whatever fantasies he'd been nursing, they were all going to be proven or disproven tomorrow. So he had to use the hour before he arrived on campus to imagine, as hard as he could, that you were in the passenger seat. That you were his girlfriend. That you had just come from meeting his mom, who had shown you a bunch of truly humiliating baby pictures and had whispered to him that she liked you when you had gone to the bathroom. For the rest of the night, that was the reality he lived in.

You had compared schedules last semester, before things got weird, and you shared only two classes, both of which were on Mondays and Wednesdays. At 10:30, you'd both be in Unsupervised Learning, then at 2:30, you'd both take Dynamic Systems and Controls. When he woke up at 8:30, he showered, then tried to wipe the tiredness from his eyes. He put on a shirt he knew you loved (you'd remarked on how well it fit him, and he didn't see it, but you did, and that was all that mattered) and his most comfortable jeans and hoodie. He secretly hoped you were doing the same kind of preening at home, trying to look good for him, but he didn't let the thought take up too much room in his mind.

At 10:25, when he walked into the lecture hall, he saw you instantly. Time stopped as he felt like someone had just gotten a particularly good hit to his solar plexus, and his whole body was responding, out of breath and weak and dizzy all at the same time. You were in the third row, to the left-hand side of the seats, and you looked more gorgeous than he remembered. How didn't he spend the whole break fantasizing about the way your hair shone or the curve of your neck? Seconds started ticking by again when he realized he was blocking the path to the seats, much to the anger of the group of people behind him. He walked down the steps to the second row like everything was normal, then positioned himself on the other side of the lecture hall. He kept his eyes firmly not trained on you for as long as he could, and, when the professor started droning, he turned to look at you, really look at you.

You had put on just a touch of makeup, something he'd noticed years ago that you always did on the first day of class. It suited you, and you looked well-rested and happy. Like you didn't miss him at all. It gutted him like a fish on the chopping block. What was wrong with him? How could he let you get away?

He turned back to the professor, pretending to be interested in the syllabus. When class ended, by the time he packed up his things, you had gone.

The second class was a repeat of the first, only in a smaller lecture hall. He tried to keep his cool, he really did, but he snuck glances. He was only human.

He didn't go into the lab for the week, mainly because he was almost done with build and was spending most of his time on securing materials for testing. They had their first practice that Monday, so he got dressed and headed over to the Athletic Center, where he grounded himself in the ritual, the calming power of it all. It was amazing to see Rex and Ahsoka again. They always made him smile, something he'd been missing over the break.

Later that week, Ahsoka invited him to your room to talk about that semester's competitions. He hesitated the appropriate amount of time before he accepted. The hallway to your room was achingly familiar, just like he'd seen it in his dreams. Only Ahsoka was home, so she wasted no time before interrogating him about what happened with the two of you.

When he told her the general gist, she had the good decency to be honest and tell him that he was kind of being an asshole by not mentioning it, but that it was normal to get advice from professors and other students. It wasn't ideal for it to be as explicitly grabbed, sure, but the point still stood.

By the time the door opened and you came in (his mind raced--from a date? from class? from some other part of your life that he would never come to know?), Anakin and Ahsoka were discussing taekwondo logistics. You looked gorgeous in the cozy cable-knit sweater you had on, and he hoped against all hope that he wasn't staring the way he thought he was.

You looked shocked for a good second before smiling awkwardly with a little "hey." You retreated to your room almost instantly, and Anakin felt a pit open up, wondering if he'd made you uncomfortable. It wasn't his fault, honestly, but he still felt guilty. He left an hour afterward.

Was this his fate? To watch you from a middle distance as you lived your life? He was trapped, pinned down like a bug, reading into everything he saw. If you were in a four-block radius, his eyes would find you. They always would. In class, he had to stop himself from turning toward you, from studying your features and trying to read anything from them. He never could.

Anakin was still fucking haunted by you, especially now that he was on campus. Everything reminded him of you. The boba place, every inch of your dorm, the emptiness in his mattress. He knew he was hallucinating when he thought he spied you at practice one day, just a wisp of hair in the corner of the room, but, by the time he did a double take, there was only empty floor there.

On Thursday, he got a text from Ahsoka.

Party tomorrow at Cody's. You should come, she had written. He didn't really, actually feel like partying. But he went anyway. Maybe he could spend enough time with his friends to forget about you.

He threw on a nice shirt, some kind of button-up his mom had gotten him, cuffed the sleeves, and set off.

It was a standard-issue party. He'd been to plenty of them, so he figured was ready and prepared for what he'd see and feel. Bass in his eardrums so loud it shook the blood in his veins. Having to scream basic conversation over music. Cheap beer and a sticky floor. Enough heat that his hair would start curling more.

It felt like home. He entered, found Cody and Ahsoka quickly, promising to return after he grabbed a drink. Anakin made his way to the folding table crammed full of bottles, as well as some kind of vile jungle juice, and took two shots. Just enough to stop thinking about you, he hoped.

By the time he fought his way back to Cody and Ahsoka, he was feeling it. Rex had joined them in the meantime, and Anakin joined the little huddle. They were talking (read: yelling "what did you say?" over the music) about one of Cody's dates that week, and Anakin let himself slip into the familiar rhythm of his friends. It was nice, honestly. He only thought of you five or six times, which was a record low.

Then Ahsoka suggested they go get another drink, and, as the four of them pushed back toward the drinks station, he saw you.

You were fucking radiant, and the breath stalled in his chest. You had always been the only thing he ever wanted to look at in a room, even from sophomore year, when you began to piss him off more than anything, but right now, you were a supernova. And he was a moth. He felt his wings get burned off as he traced the curve of your jaw and acknowledged to himself that, yeah, he probably wasn't going to get over you until you were across state lines.

You were wearing some sinfully short, tight dress, which crept higher and higher up your thighs. He could tell you weren't wearing a bra, and something stirred inside of him.

But then he saw the guy standing next to you, leaning in to tell something to your ear. Anakin hated himself for the thought, but he instantly started comparing himself to the guy. What was Mr. Boat Shoes saying to you that made you tip your head back and laugh like that? He remembered when he used to do that, when he would make you throw your head back to do more than just laugh.

Anakin felt his jaw clench and his body start to shake with the same energy that he always had before competitions, coiled like a snake about to strike.

He knew it was a bad idea, he really did. But he was never one to resist bad ideas. He blamed the alcohol. It wasn't that you were his, or some misguided attempt at owning you, but he just couldn't watch this. He couldn't let this feeling tear him apart anymore. When you swatted the guy's chest playfully, Anakin felt his eye twitch, right under his scar. Oh hell no. But he shouldn't. It was your business.

Fuck it.

Anakin started pushing through the crowd, and then he saw the guy lean in, and he saw red.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Tag list (lmk if you'd like to be added!):

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#anakin skywalker #star wars anakin #anakin x reader #anakin smut #anakin x you #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker/you #anakin/you #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #star wars prequels #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen imagine

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rileyglas · 9 months ago

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The List ~Pt. 4 - Corruption~

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader

Summary: An intense evening with Alastor starts to corrupt your judgment. Your list and morals are put into question as you start to uncover his intentions with you and the full scope of your abilities.

Themes: The usual angst, mystery (Alastor), Smut (oral and fingers), brief mentions of blood and bodily harm, cursing, fluff, actual plot, slow burn, and of course 18+ MDNI

3.3k Words (Ya'll wanted longer chapters so here ya go)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (You're on it!) Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader

Had someone told you two months ago that you’d be sitting in an Overlord’s bed with his head in your hands, you’d have called them insane. Tonight though, it was your reality. Just try to keep a clear head. You pull away from the grip Alastor has on your wrists but keep your body close to his. “I don’t understand. Why do you feel like you need to protect me? I’m just some sinner here for a chance at –"

Apparently, that was the wrong answer.

The Radio Demon’s antlers grow and his eyes flash to dials. Before you can register what’s happening he has you pinned into the bed by your shoulders, placing all his weight down as he climbs on top of your body. I’m so fucked. “Why do you insist on lying to me my dear? Do you consider me a fool? I could sense your power the second I walked into that meeting, and I felt your presence as soon as you crossed the hotel doors. Oh-ho no, you’re no ordinary,” he leans closer, “ - filthy sinner.”

His tone was taunting, nearly playful, contrasting with his agitated demon form. Two minutes ago he was pressing kisses into your skin saying he would never hurt you and now he’s trying to intimidate you? He might know more than you had initially thought, but this ‘almighty/all knowing’ attitude is starting to test your patience. You’ve tried being the sweet, helpless sinner long enough. I’ve always enjoyed playing with fire, Radio Demon – two can play your game.

A giggle bubbles out of your chest. “Oh, you sense my power? Then it is quite laughable you’d think I’d ask for someone to protect me. Especially…someone like you.” The lights in the room flicker violently causing all the bulbs to burst. Alastor disappears into his shadow as the room dims. Finally free from his weight you jump up from the bed, pausing to allow your eyes to adjust. The room was dark, but the faint light from the bayou granted some visibility. “I know you’re still here Alastor. Don’t waste your energy trying to scare me. I’ve faced far mor---” a force slams into your shoulder, pushing you to the other side of the room.

With a solid thud your body hits the wall but your head is braced by a hand. You can feel Alastor’s warm breath once again on your face. He towers over you, holding the back of your head while caging you in with his other arm. His lips find your ear, “Continue to question my competence or my power and I will have to remind you who…I…am.” You shudder from the rush of adrenaline surging through your body. He pulls back to study your face, awaiting your next move. Rule #4̷͈̔.̸̹̋ ̵̣̆N̴̤͘e̸̼̎v̸̥̂e̴̫̿r̴̤̆ ̶̲̑ĺ̶̖ē̷̖t̵̞̅ ̴̮̿y̴̘͊õ̵̬u̴̻̓r̶̥͌ ̷͙̿w̴̨̒e̸̺̎a̶̻̿k̸̮͋n̶̢͝e̵͇͛ṣ̶̏s̶͕͘è̸ͅs̸̬̔ ̶͎̈s̵̺̿ȟ̵͚ő̴͖w̵͔͝

I might regret this later but fuck it. “Remind me then.” You breathily tease. The demon’s pupils grow, and his smile widens, “As you wish, ma chère.”

Alastor’s lips crash into yours with a hungry passion - his tongue immediately begging to taste your mouth. The hand behind your head was now entwined in hair, gripping the base of your skull. The other hand forcefully pushed on your lower back to make your body flush with his. You throw your arms around his neck to deepen your kiss and feel - Oh my God…he’s completely hard. Did my defiance give him that much of a thrill? This was not how I thought tonight would play out. A warmth starts between your legs from his kiss alone. The initial plan to push the demon to his breaking point is being rapidly replaced with the desire to break him in other ways.

Your head is abruptly ripped back, making you cry out in pain and frustration. His fingers hold your hair tight as he moves your head to look up at him. “I tried to be gentle with you darling, but it seems like you prefer to make things more…. interesting.” Alastor uses his grip on your hair to drag you across the room, tossing you onto the bed.

The force of his hand reignites your initial rage, “What the fuck is your ---" his lips press back into yours. Pulling himself on top of you he pushes a knee between your legs, putting pressure on your clothed heat and making you push into him. A smug laugh rumbles in his chest. You grasp his vest to pull him closer, but he breaks away yet again to grab your hands - pinning them to either side of your head.

“Quite a position you’ve gotten yourself in dear. What was that about not needing my protection?” he leans over and drags his long tongue up your jawline forcing a whimper out of your throat. “Ah it seems your body betrays you. It’s crying out for me, isn’t it?” Letting go of your hands he snaps his fingers, queuing for his shadow to slide your pants down. The sudden rush of cold sends chills over your bare skin. Show SOME restraint. Don’t just lay here and let him think he’s in charge.

“I might be slightly unraveled but from what I see, you aren’t as in control as you think.” Your hand palms the prominent bulge behind his zipper. He freezes, having not expected you to touch him so aggressively. Using one hand to undo his belt and pants button, you use the other to continue to tease him through his clothes. “Seems like you’re the one who needs me.” you say slipping your hand under his boxers, starting to rub up and down his length. Alastor’s eyes roll back, and a deep growl settles in his chest. Got him.

To your surprise, Alastor is (for once) at a complete loss for words. He hangs his head as he grinds against your hand. You drink in the beautiful moans dripping from his lips with every stroke your hand delivers. The breathy sounds of his pleasure make you squirm under him.

You swear you hear a husky “no” when you pull away. Looking up, his eyes darken and his voice rumbles like gravel, “Mmmm, that’s it.”

Oh shit…

Alastor gets up and grabs your hips, ripping them to the edge of the bed. You hiss when his nails dig into your skin, creating red droplets around each of his fingers. He lowers himself to his knees and traces the cuts with his mouth – eagerly drinking up what little blood had spilled. Uhg – Cannibals.

There’s no time to process the stinging on your skin before you feel his teeth at your thighs, making a trail of bite marks and kisses up to your heat. He pauses to look at your now soaked slit, flashing you a wicked smile as hooks one of your legs on his shoulder and kisses just around where you needed him to be. You buck slightly, giving him all the permission he needs to begin devouring you, flicking his tongue and suckling like it was his last meal.

Your hand slides into his hair, being mindful not to grab his ears or antlers. You tighten your grip, pulling a groan from Alastor before you start to grind into the warmth of his mouth. Feeling your body plead for more, he hastily thrusts in two of his fingers, massaging in and out while your walls spasm around him. You feel him hum in amusement as his tongue continues to lap at your heat, your breathless whines fueling his hunger.

Tears begin to sting your eyes. The tension was too much, “Wait – no - not yet!“ you try to push away but he hooks onto your thigh, forcing you down onto his mouth. Looking down you meet his eyes, his stare silently begging you to surrender to him. You give in as your head and eyes roll back in sheer bliss. “F-fuck - Alastor!“ you call out to him as an unfamiliar blaze ripples through your body. You reach a point of no return – no logical thoughts, no background noise. Your only focus is to ride out your own resolve.

Alastor gently works you through the high. As your spasms ease up, he pulls away completely. You watch him remove his fingers and put them to his lips - licking each one clean. You can’t help but be in awe of the erotic view – hair disheveled, shirt mostly unbuttoned, and the glow of the bayou casting over his face as he savors the mess you’ve become, the mess he’s made of you. “Is this all it takes to make you beg for me, ma chère?”

A cheeky smile spreads across your face while you set yourself up on your elbows “Beg? I don’t beg for any man.”

“Oh darling…” he crawls over you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “You’ll soon find out I’m far greater than any man. Let’s pick up this little conversation tomorrow, shall we?” Before you can respond, he snaps his fingers, making the world around you quickly fade out and back in. Just like that you were back in your room and on your own bed.

What in the actual fuck just happened? You stand up from your bed, still completely bare from the waist down. Could have at least sent me back with my pants, asshole.

As if hearing your thoughts you see a shadow slip under your door delivering your neatly folded slacks then bolting right back out. How the - you know what, no. I’m too tired for this shit.

Any other night you would have stared at the ceiling, mentally preparing for the next day, but not tonight. Your eyes close before your head hits the pillow.

Between helping Angel then Alastor throwing you around, you wake up feeling like you got hit by a train as expected. You drag yourself out of bed and head into the bathroom, hoping a hot shower will help wash away some of the tension. Removing your shirt you begin to examine your naked body in the mirror. Your shoulder was turning an ugly shade of green and smaller bluish-purple bruises riddled your arms, hips, and thighs, reminding you of every place his fingers touched. Guess he was rougher than I thought. You shake your head and laugh – realizing the twisted satisfaction you feel seeing the aftermath of the night’s events.

Your body welcomes the sting of the hot water as you step inside the shower. Closing your eyes, you begin to relax while your mind wanders.

Alastor was quite an enigma. He said he could ‘sense’ your power which surprisingly didn’t worry you as much as you thought. Oddly enough it felt like a small weight off your chest having someone in the hotel finally know some truth, though you would have preferred it to be someone, anyone, other than Alastor. What truly troubled you was the lengths he seemed prepared to go to earn your trust. He was a powerful demon Overlord; he had an arsenal of ways to get what he wanted – fear, torture, bribery, death etc. Hell, with his reputation you were half expecting him to offer up a deal – but he didn’t. Why bother kissing me? Why be so vulnerable? Was he just trying to get a rise out of me? Trick me? Of course he was. Did he really think I would magically trust him just because he made me -

Three loud knocks at the door jolt you out of your thoughts. “What’s up!?”

“Just checking in! You missed breakfast and the usual afternoon activities. Everything okay?” Charlie’s sweet voice called back to you. Damn I slept through the day?

“Oh sorry to worry you, just not feeling – I have a bad headache. Could you please send Nifty up with some tea? Thank you!” You really didn’t feel like leaving your room today anyway. If Alastor wanted to pick up your little chat so badly, he knew where to find you.

Finding out the day was already halfway over; you finish up your shower and get dressed in comfortable clothes - sweatpants and a large off the shoulder tee. No use dressing up when you have zero intentions on leaving your room or seeing anyone, other than Nifty of course. Unfortunately, the hot shower only temporarily relaxed your sore body – the pain in your back and shoulders once again begin to throb. You decide to kick back in bed with a book while awaiting tea.

You don’t even look up from your book when someone knocks at your door, “Come on in Niff – just set it on the dresser, please and thank you.” The door opens and your ears ring. Of course. I should have guessed.

“Well good evening my dear. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to hide away from me. Did we not agree that we’d continue our conversation today?” Alastor hums as he walks into the room. He might not have been who you expected but at least brought the tea you asked for.

“Good thing you know better.” You jeer. Although you’re apprehensive of his illusively true intentions, you can’t help but smile at him looking so affable, pouring two cups of tea, and sitting himself on the side of your bed. “I’m just not feeling great, that is all. I’m tired and achy.” Reaching for the cup, your shirt moves to expose your bruised shoulder.

His eyes immediately lock onto your discolored skin. “And that wouldn’t be because of our little…altercation…would it?” his gaze wonders to see the marks speckled down your arms. His usually harsh stare softens as he sees what he did. Is that remorse?

“You didn’t hurt me if that’s what you’re asking. I usually feel like this after…” Stop stop STOP TALKING. Rule #2̷̦͒.̶̛͚ ̷̠͌N̶̰̄e̵̞͗v̸̹͝e̶̘̾r̶̜͋ ̵͉̌t̷̤̑e̶̹͒l̸̮̇ĺ̵͔ ̵͙̇á̴̠ ̷̦̅s̷̰̓ǫ̷̔u̵̺̅l̶̼͐ ̸̜̿w̶̪̆h̷͇̽a̶̡͠t̸̙́ ̷̖͠(̵̪̐o̶͖̾ȑ̴̨ ̶͓̊h̵̻͗o̸͎͠ẅ̵̢ ̶̝̕m̸̧̈́ṵ̵̔c̴̳̉h̵̡̀)̶̖̌ ̴̓͜p̵̡͐ö̴̡w̷͈̏ȅ̵̫ŕ̷͚ ̴̗͛y̷̳̔ó̴͙ư̷̞ ̶͔͘h̵̥̍a̴͍͘v̶̬̚é̵͈

He tilts his head, raising an eyebrow in curiosity, “After - what exactly? Wouldn’t have anything to do with why you fainted last night, would it?”

He obviously knows something.

You avoid his question, “You said last night you can sense me. What exactly does that mean?” Alastor sighs as he sets his cup down. He reaches for your hands like he did the night before, only this time he held them tightly in his, “Close your eyes.”

“Uhm - Excuse me?”

He huffs, “Have I not made it clear that I have no intention in hurting you?”

“I mean – “ you motion towards your bruises.

“Just close your damn eyes.”

You reluctantly close your eyes and listen to his instruction, “Concentrate on what you feel, and I mean really dig deep into the feeling your power gives you.” Okay fine I’ll play along, what’s the worst that can happen? You take a deep breath and focus on the flutters your stomach usually felt when you made a contract with a sinner. Of course you could feel the power each one gave you. The human soul was like pure energy, it was no wonder their collection was used to feed the Overlord hierarchy.

Feeling a pull, Alastor puts your palms flush to his chest. Your small flutters explode into full body vibrations - an intense static floods your veins and your hands begin to glow the soft pink you so often had to hide. The feeling makes you pull back in a panic. Damn him! How?

He responds to your look of shock with a breathy chuckle as stands up from the bed. Running his fingers through his hair, he looked all too pleased with himself. The arrogant reaction snaps what little patience you had left with him. You heatedly stand up as pink flames burst from your body and eyes while two small black horns crack through your skull. “What the HELL are you trying to get at Alastor? Why toy with me if you know so much already!? What the fuck do you want from me?” your voice was fierce but low. I don’t need Charlie or anyone else to hear me.

A smile crosses Alastor’s face, wider than you’ve seen before. His face would probably split if it went any wider. “Oh my dear, your demon form is beautiful.” He says coolly, placing a hand on your arm and hooking the other under your chin. His touch quickly brings you back to normal form. “Please sit, I can explain everything.”

“I don’t trust you,” you say as you both sit back down on the edge of the bed. His brows furrow at your statement, “Just hear me out?” You nod for him to continue.

“I took a…. sabbatical…seven years ago. When I returned, I felt drawn somewhere. My body began to ache from the pull. I could never figure out where I needed to go - until I walked into that meeting and felt you.”

“I’m…not following.”

“You know how magnets work? A negative charge and positive charge attract, or rather, are drawn to each other. Once together they create a force that can be unbreakable. The power we both possess does exactly that.” He grabs your hands again, flashing you a look of…is that excitement?

You’re skeptical of his idea, it sounded insane. Stupid even. But it made sense. You also felt the pull and ringing whenever he was around. As for opposites attract, that couldn’t be truer to the two of you. He rose to power by causing pain and carnage, abusing the souls he collected for his own gain. Meanwhile you were doing the exact opposite - protecting, healing, doing good for damned lesser souls.

“Okay say I believe all this - Seems like you would only want to use me and keep me around to feed your own power-hungry needs. I will not be some pet, locked away and only played with when it is convenient for you!” Your words come out involuntarily tearful. A pain burns in your chest at the realization that you wanted him to want you. Rule #3̸̭͗.̴̠̇ ̴͔̉N̷̙̉e̷̞͌v̶̪̾e̶̼̽r̶͍̈́ ̶̜̏b̷͈́ȓ̸͈ì̶̲n̶͚̍g̶̣̕ ̸̙̀a̷̼̚n̷̠̆y̶̺̕ö̶̫́n̷̯̈́e̶̤̅ ̷̯̽ť̷̪o̴̻̾o̵̱̚ ̷͙̃c̵͙̽l̴̞̋o̷̦̓s̵̪̎e̸̦̚

Seeing the worry flash across your face, Alastor grabs you with both hands and presses his lips into yours. Last night his kiss felt lustful and hungry. Not tonight. Right now, he kissed you like he would lose everything if he couldn’t have you.

He breaks the embrace, resting his forehead on yours, “I was never a good man. I will never be redeemed, nor do I want that for myself. I am selfish and possessive over the things I want. I will not lie to you, I want power. But I also want you. Not as a pet. Not as a tool. As an equal. Working together, not even the King of Hell can stand against us.” His words were calculated, voice smooth like whiskey – and you were drinking in every drop.

The list. Stick to the list. This has death written all over it. You can’t help anyone if you’re (more) dead, come on use the LIST! Rule #1̷̨͠.̷̗̓ ̴̡͝N̴͙̒e̶͐ͅṽ̷̬ẽ̴̲r̶̖͗ ̵̟́t̸̥̕ṛ̵̃ȗ̴̢s̶̙̃t̵̠̕ ̸̛̜à̶̭ǹ̷̫ọ̶͂ṯ̵̃h̸̢̒e̶̜̋r̶̳̒ ̸̯̓O̴̳̓v̷̖͑e̴͎̅r̸̮̀l̴̼͐o̶͚̕ȑ̴͕d̸̝̎

You pull his hands away, holding them between your fingers as you draw nervous little circles in his palms. “Alastor this is…a lot to take in. Your words are striking, but I need more. Prove I can trust you. Prove you want me by your side. Then maybe, maybe, I will consider your offer. Until then, I think it’s best we don’t speak about this to anyone. Deal?”

Alastor’s smile was soft with half-lidded eyes. “Consider it, a deal.” He leans into you as green and pink light flashes around the room. Your first deal with the Radio Demon, sealed with a kiss.

Tag List (Let me know if you would like to be added!)

@rl800 @fairyv-ice @looking1016 @martinys-world @sirens-and-moonflowers

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mylovelies-docx · 1 year ago

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Sorry, I Love You - Part 9

Oh wow, a new chapter? Who'd have thunk it.

My posting schedule is all off and I honestly don't know if I can get it back under control. I have no idea when I'll get time to sit down and write and when inspiration will strike, so I can't assure weekly updates. But I'll try my hardest to get this story out! I have future chapters written, it's just that I have no way of connecting them right now :/ Oops.

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: Ah shit, here we go again. Angst, arguments, jealousy

Word Count: 2,250

Tag List: NOW CLOSED! If you'd like to keep up with this story, please follow my blog and turn on notifications! ❤️ you :)

[Prologue][Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4][Part 5][Part 6][Part 7][Part 8]

Some moments are easier than others. Sometimes you feel like you’re not pining like a love-sick teenager enough to think that you can actually do this – you can actually be friends with the man you love.

But then there are moments like tonight.

A few weeks have passed since community get-together, and you and Bucky are the new kids in town. Everyone drops by to say hello, leave you with enough food to last the winter, and invite you both back to their homes for dinner. It’s all very sweet, and you would appreciate the hospitality in any other situation.

But the amount of mothers trying to marry their daughters off to Bucky is insane.

Several have not-so-subtley seated Bucky next to daughters of marriageable age, while everyone else is silently discouraged from interrupting their conversations. It skeezes you out when the girls are barely out of their teens, but most of the girls are around your age or older. Morality-wise, that’s a whole lot more appropriate. Internal monologue-wise, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh doesn’t even begin to cover it. What you feel whenever he laughs at something they say, or looks at them with his intense blue eyes – it hurts. That’s how he used to look at you, once upon a time. Like his life wouldn’t be the same without you in it, like you’re one of the most important people in his world.

To be fair to Bucky, you probably read waaaay more into it than he ever meant. And you only ever really saw that look come out when you were straddling his waist and grinding hard on his cock, skin mottled with his teeth marks and wearing his metal hand as a necklace.

Stop, stop, stop, stop!

Anyway,

You’re usually placed next to older, widowed relatives, as most of the young men in the town have already settled down and popped out a few kids with their spouses except for Petre. Tessa foists the two of you together at every possible opportunity, hoping you’ll hit it off and decide to get married in the near future.

Petre is nice, smart, cute, but not really your type. You’re convinced that you’ve only ever had one type and he’s off-limits. But Petre’s company is much more enjoyable than the sad, lonely older men they try to pair you with – it never feels great to be compared to someone’s long lost love – so you don’t mind having someone around your age to talk during these things.

Speaking of.

“It’s a nice night, yeah?” Petre comments. The night is warmer than expected, but you and Petre are still bundled up in your coats as you stroll through the dead copse of trees near the latest dinner party. The sun had set only minutes ago and the stars are making their presence known. There’s next to no light pollution in this area, so you always take the time to admire the night sky when you have the chance.

You often take walks with Bucky up and down your street as a way to decompress after your shifts at the HYDRA facility. After the first week or so of being everyone’s errand-runner, they’ve slowly built up your workload to include calculations and deductions based on redacted data – it’s not as much information as you’d like, but it’s enough to build a foundational understanding of what the experiment was about.

You hum in agreement and continue walking. It’s about time to turn around and head back, but you can’t bring yourself to return only to watch Bucky flirt with the pretty girls that were also invited.

“Is something the matter?” Petre asks you.

You startle out of your petty, jealous thoughts. “Hm? Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong,” you reply with a smile.

“It’s just that you seem very distracted tonight,” he responds.

With your hands in your pocket, the only thing you can do is shrug your shoulders. “Just tired, is all. It’s been a long week at the office.”

“Ah, I know the feeling,” Petre commiserates.

All of the sudden, a wailing, piercing shriek ricochets between the tree trunks and reverberates in your ears. Tensing with adrenaline, you take two steps forward, ready to intervene in whatever events are unfolding in the darkness.

Before you get much further, Petre reaches out and takes hold of your elbow. Turning you around, he starts leading the way back. You try to tug your arm from his grip, but he holds firm.

“The cry of a vixen who is looking to mate. They’re rather vicious creatures this time of year, foxes. We don’t want to get in her way,” Petre deters.

“But…” you begin, looking back over your shoulders and watching for unexpected movement among the swaying branches. “It sounds so real.”

“Terrifying, really. I was just as concerned when they began, as well.” Petre gives you a tight smile and relaxes his grip slightly when you stop trying to pull away.

“What do you mean?” you question.

“What?” Petre’s eyes flash around quickly, looking through the woods that surround you.

“‘When they began’. What do you mean by that?”

“Ah,” Petre replies. “When mating season began.”

There’s no more discussion on the eerily accurate sound of a woman in distress. You can only trust that Petre would know the local fauna and their habits better than you, since you’ve never spent an extended period of time in areas such as this.

***

The neighbor’s house finally comes into view. A lone figure stands silhouetted against the porch as they lean against the railings, their arms braced against the banister and posture rigid. When you get closer, you realize that the figure is Bucky.

You can’t see his face, but you can feel his eyes on you. And apparently Petre can as well.

“He doesn’t like me?” Petre asks.

“Why do you say that?” The question puzzles you because Bucky has no reason to dislike Petre. He’s been incredibly helpful so far, allowing you to ask as many questions as you want about himself and others and he doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. In fact, you feel as if you and Petre have become friends.

“It just seems like he’s never happy to see me.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that – James just has RBF,” you reply nonchalantly.

“RBF?” Petre replies.

You laugh as you and Petre climb the stairs, only now realizing that he still has a hand on your arm. You’d forgotten all about it, but you miss the slight warmth that permeated through your jacket when he removes his touch. You turn to look at him, but Petre is looking away, his hands now deep in his pockets. Turning your focus onto Bucky, you see him watching Petre, his eyes squinted.

A large smile returns to your face as you reach up and grab Bucky’s chin, squishing his cheeks and making his lips pucker from the pressure. “This –” you say triumphantly, “is an RBF.”

Bucky glares down at you and swats your hand away. You cackle at the perfect example of Resting Bitch Face™ in front of you, throwing your head back in joy. When you right your posture again, you can see a small smile on Bucky’s face as he laughs along with you.

“Whatever,” he murmurs. He shakes his head in exasperation before circling his arm around your shoulders. Bucky begins dragging you back down the steps you had just ascended and you grunt in protest. “It’s time to go,” he says simply.

“Ugh, you’re so rude,” you say to him. Craning your neck as much as possible, you look back towards Petre who remains on the porch. “I’ll see you later!” you call backwards with a wave. Petre raises a hand in return, face hidden in shadow as Bucky’s had been.

Focusing back on the road in front of you, you can practically feel what little mirth Bucky had drains away. Looking up, you notice that his jaw is clenched and a hard look has entered his eye.

“What’s wrong?” Now you’re worried that something happened to Bucky while you were gone that has put him in a bad mood. Did someone say something to him? Did one of the women reject his advances? You can’t see who in their right mind would turn him down, but not everyone feels the same way about him as you do. But if it’s the latter, the guilt you feel only slightly outweighs the relief.

“You don’t think you’re spendin’ too much time with him?” Bucky says between clenched teeth.

A frown appears between your eyebrows as you continue to look up at him. “No?” you respond. “He doesn’t seem to mind.”

“Ofcoursehedoesn’t,” Bucky mutters under his breath, but you can still hear him.

You slide out from under Bucky’s hold, his agitation sparking flames of your own. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t think you’re leadin’ him on a bit, Y/N?” Bucky asks you.

You scoff. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You’re always hangin’ around him!” Bucky quips back. “You’re flirting with him and walking out of parties together. All these people, Petre included, are going to think you’re pitching for an engagement.”

The hurt and pitiful feelings from earlier tonight come flooding back. Only this time, instead of feeling them for what they are, you combine them with the anger his comment brings. How dare he accuse you of leading Petre on? As if he isn’t doing the same thing to all those girls?!

“And what about you?!” you yell, the last word ripping its way between your lips and setting your tongue ablaze. “You don’t think you’re stringing all these girls along behind you? You don’t have any intention of getting into a relationship with any of them, either, do you?”

As the words escape, you remember how Bucky sat you down and asked for a friends-with-benefits situation. Said he wasn’t ready for a real relationship, but tired of one night stands. How the two of you could help each other out since you weren’t seeing anyone either. The old resentment towards yourself and how you let yourself fall for someone wholly unavailable whiplashes back into your mind after months of repressing it.

If he could ask that of you, does that mean he’s asked someone else? You usually arrive home later than him, but on some occasions that you are released early, he’s not there. Instead of asking where he’s been, you had just let it slide since it could have been construed as possessiveness. Like your feelings – that Bucky believes to be long gone – entitle you to his life. You hadn’t wanted to risk anything at the time, but now your mind can’t help running wild at the possibilities.

“It’s not like I’m screwing his brains out every time we’re gone!” You shout at Bucky. You had been walking down the road away from the house party which was on a street with few homes, so there’s nobody around to hear your fight. “We’re not in the bathrooms having quickies, he’s not fucking me against a wall, or bending me over his motorcycle! He hasn’t proposed we fuck around with each other until someone better comes along!”

Your chest heaves with the effort of expelling these vicious words from deep within your heart, and you can feel a burning beginning to creep behind your eyes. You hate getting angry – hate that any strong emotion makes your eyes well with tears and makes you look weak. And in this situation, you are weak – weak against Bucky, weak against yourself, weak against the knowledge that the one man you’ve ever loved never felt the same way and never will. Your inability to keep yourself from falling for someone you knew you could never have? Your jealousy that he is probably sleeping with one or more of the women in town? That makes you weak.

And you can’t stand to be weak in front of Bucky again.

“Newsflash, Buck: I know how it feels to be lead on by you and it fucking sucks!” You lower your voice slightly and take another step away from him. “I know that wasn’t your intention, and I didn’t feel that way at first, but that’s how I feel now.”

“You were my best friend, Y/N – I didn’t want to lose that!” Bucky exclaims. “And I genuinely thought we were on the same page!” He takes a deep breath and clasps his hands over his eyes before saying, “And seeing you run off with Petre all the time just reminds me of us – how we’d always sneak away to get some time alone. It’s just –” He drops his hands and sighs heavily, looking up at the star-studded sky and then back down to you. “I’m jealous.”

“You’re jealous?” You ask incredulously. “Why?”

“Because –” You can tell that he’s struggling to get this out, and if he hadn’t started this argument and accused you of wronging Petre, you might have been more receptive to what he’s saying. More understanding. But right now, your anger swallows all empathy and hope that his words would usually supply. “Because that could have been us,” he breathes. Bucky takes a tentative step in your direction, but freezes solid at the icy glare you send his way.

“No,” you say flatly, “No, it couldn’t have. You made that abundantly clear when I asked.”

You turn your back on him and start running, ignoring the sound of your name as you leave Bucky behind.

Part 10

Taglist: @jackiehollanderr @rabbitrabbit12321 @12345sebby @blackwood-bodecker-housewifeife @lauraashley93 @themorningsunshinee @happinessinthebeingg @nash-dara @calwitch @stany0url0calwh0res111 @pono-pura-vida @learisa @introverbatim @kentokaze @marvelogic @kaz11283

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #sorry i love you

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andsoigotabutterfly · 11 months ago

Text

-Save me from her - chapter 6

Tara Carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: Madness, feelings and blood.

a/n: I feel like I'm making this a habbit, but sorry for making you wait for this long again. I don't know why, but there isn't much time when I feel motivated enough to write. I'm trying to make a schedule for myself right now to improve on my time management, so maybe that'll help?

warnings: amateur writing, blood, graphic descriptions of murder, awkward conversation, swearing, canon-typical violance, multiple POV's, mixed POV's, insanity, going mad, ANGST

Everything seemed futile. There was no light at the end of the tunnel and even if there would've been (which again; there was none), there was no hope to get there. On knees, which barely even responded to commands anymore. No hope for healing. Yet she crawled onwards.

Why was she crawling again? She didn't know. She couldn't remember... She couldn't remember who she was. And so, the dark was even more welcoming.

“My name is Annabelle!” She reminded herself “I have a family. Ma, Lolly, Da, Nicks. I love them.”

But do they love me?

She... couldn't remember. Why would she? She wanted to forget. She couldn't even remember why she was trying to forget. Yet she did...

“No!” She screamed. What was she screaming into? Did it matter? “My name is Annabelle. I have a family. Ma, Lolly, Da, Nicks. I love them.”

She would crawl. She would try to remember. She would scream.

Crawl so she reaches the light. Try to remember, so she wouldn't lose herself. Scream so she lets the world know of her pain.

But the light just went further away. The memories would fade into oblivion. The world would ignore her. It wasn't fair.

“Yes, it is.” She would hear her own voice. “It fair in every way possible. Ma is dying and here you are, crawling towards something that's unreachable. Towards your own selfish freedom. Is it worth it?”

She would crawl. She would try to remember. She would scream.

As she took in her own words, a new light appeared to her left. It was so beautiful. A blue light, that lit up her hopes.

“We can save Ma.” She heard herself again. “We just need to be quick with it. Or Lolly kills her.”

The thought passed through her mind. As it did, all those red lights that were layed down with the help of Ma all screamed. They screamed of danger. They screamed so she wouldn't cave in. But it was so alluring...

“No!” She said to herself. “My name is Annabelle. Ma, Lolly, Nicks. I love them.” -She would crawl...

“Remember that movie we watched together?” She heard herself again. “The one with the ghostlike killer?” The mask suddenly shot itself into her mind, engraining itself into her. “Ah, so you do! I also remember. I remember sitting in your lap whilst Lolly tried to hide herself in your neck.” The image flashed through her mind just like the mask. “But she has always been easy to scare, hasn't she? “- ...she would try to... to forget...

“She leeched off us and didn't even care about OUR state!” Her voice was raised now, dripping with hatred. “And now” she heard herself scoff “now she's laying limp, helpless and dying and wants to kill Ma so she can live? Is that something you can call fair?” -...she would wail.

No, it's not” she said and turned towards the blue light. It was so much easier to approach it. The only thing she needed to do was ignore the red lights. Had they any meaning anyways?

Finally, we can agree on something! What do you say, should we save her? Should we butcher the doctors who are trying to kill her? Even as she screams, shouts, and begs for mercy! Lolly betrayed us! Why are they trying to save her? It makes no sense! She said we would find a solution together but what does she do instead? She kills Ma and gets on with her life like nothing happened. So, funnily enough, we come back to the same question again; Is. That. Fair.”

“No, it's not... My name is Anna... Ma... Lolly...”

As she got closer and closer to the light, she could stand up again. Walk again. It felt liberating.

“Ma won’t have to scream anymore. Won’t have to shout and beg anymore!”

She would run. She would forget. She would laugh.

“My name... Our name... it doesn’t matter...”

She would cry. She would rip. She would kill.

“Lolly...”

We hate her.

----------------------------

"So let me get this straight; you believe a doll will stop her?" Mindy's voice was filled with doubt. Rightfully so, Tara thought. It was a ridiculous statement. Yet when she saw your face and the utter sincerity it displayed, her doubts and worries faded. You looked cute. And beautiful. "I mean, you have to admit, it's a pretty wild claim..."

After finally convincing you to lay back a little and rest more, Tara and you were cuddled up to each other on your bed whilst the others somewhat shifted in their positions. Anika was sitting in Mindy’s lap on one of the two chairs inside the room, whilst Chad occupied the other. Sam was still standing in the corner, watchful and aware like a guardsman on duty.

"Did I stutter?" you asked, on a voice far more raised than it needed to be. Everybody was looking at you, except for Anika, who was shaking her head, the smallest of smiles appearing on her face. The same one you also had. That small smile made butterflies erupt in her stomach. God, the things she would do to keep in there for the rest of your lives.

You awkwardly cleared your throat and continued little more shyly. "Yes, I believe it will stop her. Or at least make her pause. That's all we need. A little stumble, brake in her assault. At the police station she was brutal, relentless, and precise. Even the least amount of time could help us. Also, you haven't seen how obsessed she was with that doll. Even before..." your trailed off, as you searched for the right words.

"Before going mental" Chad finished for you. The second he saw the hurt on your face, regret washed over his. "Sorry" he mumbled.

"Ma always said that Dolly was a bad influence on her, but whenever we wanted clarification, she only waved it off." Anika took over. "Only later would Da tell us that she got it from her childhood best friend, Dolores, seconds before getting run over by a bus."

At their pained reaction you said. "Yeah, we had the same reaction. Anna started thinking about the doll as the friend that passed, even if only subconsciously. Hence, Dolly. Later, any time Anna would do something bad, she blamed it on Dolly, that she was the one that convinced her to do it. Sometimes it would even be entertaining. I mean, the ridiculous statement that her doll could convince her of something." you scoffed. "Well, at least back then it was."

"So, she lost both her best friend and her mom" Chad cut in. "No wonders she went crazy."

"You think she still believes her doll to be her friend?" Sam asked doubtfully. Why was everybody doubting you, Tara wondered. It's not like you were saying the craziest... Okay, yes you were.

"Back in the asylum she wouldn't talk to anyone, just Dolly. The doctors said whenever they took it away from her, she would just stare at a wall, sometimes even hitting her head against it until they gave it back to her."

"That's fucked up man..." Chad said softly.

"Yes, it was" Anika said matter-of-factly. "Y/N went there every week for two years until the place burned down. They tried every treatment, yet she showed no sign of getting any better. So, I believe Y/N is right; Dolly might give us a fighting chance."

"And where is Dolly exactly?"

"At Da's old place. We stashed it there, with a couple more old gadgets."

At Sam's nod, the conversation quickly changed subject. After a time, the familiar calming buzz of the Meeks' arguing, and Anika's and Sam's voice set in. Tara leant more into you in the hospital bed, still being careful not to hurt you in any way. You rested your head against hers, whilst silently enjoying each-other's company, numbly listening to whatever the group was talking about. You put your hand around her and pulled her even closer. Your scent encompassed her and made her feel at peace. You felt like home.

"You know I always wanted to piece that quote perfectly into a conversation" you said quietly, so no one else would hear you but her.

"What quote?" she asked back just as softly.

"The Office one."

"Well, if you were going for perfect, you need to do better than that" she laughed.

"C'mon. It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"It was."

You mumbled something inaudible, probably cursing her entire bloodline for all she knew, but pulled Tara even closer to you and hid your face in the crook of her neck. She gently took your hands and intertwined her fingers with yours. She thought back to your first kiss. Then the one in the car. It filled her chest with warmth. Almost as if she could still feel your lips against hers. Maybe if she bent back enough, she could... wait. The car kisses. The audacity! She looked around for something suitable, then she took the pillow you weren't using, and threw it at Mindy with full force. As it landed with a satisfying thud, she smiled to herself.

"Who was th-" Mindy started but cut herself short when she saw the look on Tara's face. "What was that for?!" she all but shrieked.

At the sudden movement and raised voice, Tara could feel you look up to the others.

"That, you traitor, was for telling Anika what I shared with you over our first coffee at Timmy's!"

"What are you-. Oh!" Mindy's eyes widened even more, as another 'oh' left her mouth, her eyes darting between you, Tara, and Anika. Tara could almost hear the cogs turning in her brain, as she was trying to connect the dots. After some very awkward silence in the room, Mindy threw her a wide, cocky, toothy grin. "You're welcome."

"Tars, it still wasn't her faul-" you started, but got shut up by one of her pointed looks. "Okay, it was -partly- hers, but come on! You can't expect her to keep something that valuable fro-" you gulped at her stare. "Okay, I guess you can."

Anika and Mindy giggled but shut up the moment you threw them a hateful look.

"What are you guys talking about?" Chad asked.

"Just the fact that Mindy told me that Tara told her that she had a little-wittle crush on Y/N."

"I did not" Tara huffed silently.

"Oh, so you let anyone take you in their arms and kiss you then?" you asked her, just as quietly, so no one could hear you. She rolled her eyes but rested her head against yours again.

"Wait, Mindy you cheated!?" Chad revolted.

"Chea-, what are you talking about?" you asked.

"Oh, darling they betted when we would get together."

"They did what?!" Oh, you looked adorable when angry, Tara decided. She pressed a small kiss to the top of your head, which clearly caught you off-guard, an immediate blush forming on your cheeks, that you desperately were trying to conceal. Unsuccessfully, of course.

"Oh, you made the payments already?" Anika joined in.

Chaos unraveled in the room, as the Meeks' started shouting again, and Anika tried to collect her rewards. Tara laughed as your eyes widened when you saw how much money traded hands. But then you smiled, proudly at Anika. After Tara did a short count, she also felt impressed by your sister. She was undoubtedly the winner of this bet. "I teached her well" you whispered to Tara, which she could only laugh at.

-----------------

You couldn’t really focus on the conversation that was going on inside the room. You knew Tara felt your brain cogs turning, yet there was nothing you could do about it. Your thoughts just kept on relaying towards what you felt like an executioner’s axe hanging over your head, Anna. You still couldn’t quite believe she was back. It shouldn’t have been possible. You saw her burnt body with your own eyes. Just like her body had, the sight burnt itself into your brain, and was now showing itself.

Yet every single clue you could think of when it came to Ghostface pointed in her direction. The way she only targeted you at your apartment. The note on the homeless guy’s dead body. Her familiarity with you at the station. Her voice. You’d swear you could hear her voice underneath that damned modulator. And if it was indeed really her, then you were doomed. You weren’t ready to face her. Not after not giving up on her for two whole years, even after her first attack. Not after you cared for her every time you were at the asylum. Not after burying her.

You couldn’t shake off the thought that she could heal back when she was being watched, never giving up even for a second. You couldn’t shake of the hope that started growing inside you now. Thinking how she would ruffle your hair again after something you said, how she would hug you again when you were hurt. Thinking and remembering all the times she would whisper soothing words after one of the many injuries you had gotten, or when you got into a serious fight with your best friend. Even though she was just three years older than you, she still never acted like it. No. She always acted like the big sister, who had to protect you, who had to show you the things she had learnt before you.

Oh, how fun it was when she taught you something.

“Lolly!” her voice was filled with excitement as she barged into your room. “Look!”

She was holding some kind of dark rock in her hand. It looked funny. The light danced on it as if it were some kind of crystal. Maybe it was! Was this a gift?

“No” she chided you, as you stretched your tiny hands towards her to grab it. “It’s messy. When you touch it, it turns you black as well. See my hand? It’s black because of it. Da called it ‘coal’ and said it is used to make fires. But you can draw with it as well! Come, let me show you what I drew!”

You couldn’t even tell when you teared up. Has it been hours or seconds? You didn’t know and couldn’t really care. The more you replayed memories in your mind, the more possible it became to have her back. But why were you crying then?

Because she would never be back.

It didn’t matter how much you loved her; she was gone. Either dead, or so broken she couldn’t remember her own real feelings. You didn’t know which was worse.

And so, hope has let you down again, bringing only sadness in its wake.

“We should probably get going” you said quickly before bursting out in tears in front of all your friends, trying your best to keep a straight voice. After realizing that might have already happened, you wiped the small salty water trails of your face. “The sooner we get Dolly, the better.”

“Are you sure you’re ready to leave?” Tara asked. She sounded so soft, careful. It broke your heart even more.

“You need to rest more Kay” Anika said just as softly. Why are they treating you like this? “Me and the Meeks’ can grab her and be back-”

“What I need, is to get out of here” you interrupted her as you slowly crawled out of Tara’s arms. Somehow you managed to stand up without groaning. Progress. That’s what I like.

You shoved that thought away.

“Now let’s call the doctor and ask them for my things” you said as you quickly composed yourself. “I know I look lavishing in white robes, but I don’t think its street appropriate.”

--------------

The doctors, of course, wouldn’t let you go. Your insistence on you already being better did nothing to sway them. Fucking brats. They wouldn’t even give you back your clothes. Might as well let them keep it. They were all bloody anyway. You didn’t need them.

Mindy, Anika, and Chad left not long after Tara finally convinced you to go back to bed. It took a long time of planning and talking of what exact route they will be taking before you caved in. They promised they’ll be back in at least three hours. You still didn’t like how this was turning out. You felt helpless and as if you were and inconvenience. You probably are. For Sam’s insistence, Anika called Vasco and asked for some more men before leaving, and he said he’ll ask Bailey. They never arrived. He’s in on it too.

Sam kept pacing around the room like there was no tomorrow. Tara felt tense too under your arms. You couldn’t help but feel anxious as well. Who wouldn’t? Anna was loose, reinforcements haven’t arrived and the group split. Nothing was ideal. Everything was in fact, wrong. This last day shook your world completely and it could and would not feel real.

As time passed, so did the Carpenters nerve settle. Tara felt more at ease, leaning into you. Her smell was very distracting, which you were grateful for. You needed something that could anchor to the real world, and she was just that. You looked down at her, the dim light of the room dancing on her face. She is perfect.

You must have stared for a long time now as she spoke up.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

You couldn’t help but smile and look away sheepishly. “Sorry” you croaked quietly.

“No, no, it’s okay” she said quickly, smiling at your reaction. “I like it when you look at me.”

“I’m going to give you two the room” Sam stated, breaking both of you out of the little conversation for a few seconds until she left the room. At Tara’s worried look, she added “Don’t worry, I’m just gonna be outside the door.” With that she was gone. Good.

You awkwardly cleared your throat. “So, you like me looking at you?”

She scoffed and tried to hide her blush, realizing she won’t ever live this down. “Don’t flatter yourself, dork.”

“Well, I like looking at you. You are beautiful Tars.”

You could see her getting ten shades of red darker than she already was. If you blushed too, you would never notice. All your senses were filled by her. Her smile was blinding, her rapid heartbeat deafening. Her scent filled your nostrils, and a second later you felt her lips against yours as well, so you could taste her. In that moment nothing else mattered. Just her tender touch, her feel as she slowly started to move against you, her hand caressing your face. Heaven didn’t feel enough to describe where you felt at that moment. You could swear you would never need anything else, but her.

You never made any relationship you were in last because of the fear of vulnerability. You were too afraid to open up, as if anyone got that close to you, they could ruin you and there would be nothing you could do about it. Nothing to save you from annihilation. Falling was scary. Scarier than most experiences that you ever had.

Yet now, you knew it was okay to fall. It was okay because she was there to catch you. Here with her body pressing against yours, you weren’t afraid to crumble if she was the one who crashed you. There would be noone to save you from her. And it was more than acceptable.

You trust too easily.

As you came up for air, you looked deep in her eyes, and that thought faded like breath in the air on a cold day. Her shiny brown eyes radiated with love and care. Her hair was a bit messy, but she has never looked more beautiful than at that moment, in your arms.

“I thought you were beautiful since I lay eyes on you Tars” you breathed out shakily.

“You really think so?”

“Yes” you answered without hesitation.

She shifted a little, her hands awkwardly rubbing each other. You squinted your eyes in confusion before noticing what was really going on; she was rubbing the scar on her left hand. You smiled at her and gently took her hands in yours, stopping her motions.

“Nothing is going to change that Tars” you said softly and raised her left hand to kiss it. “Not this, not anything.”

She simply nodded at that, leaning into you. You could only hope she understood how you saw her, because you knew how conscious she was about her scars. Mindy told you she had more, but nobody ever spoke about it. You still couldn’t wrap your head around how someone who is supposed to be an other’s partner can do something like this.

You suppressed the anger that was building up inside you at the thought. You had the girl of your dreams in your arms. You couldn’t allow yourself to be angry.

You just sat in the bed in quiet for some time. The calming presence of each other was welcomed by both of you.

After a while Tara carefully moved off you and went to the night table, starting to swipe through her phone.

“What is it?” you asked.

“Mindy and the others should be back by now.”

Your heart clenched in instant, and you looked at the time on your phone. They should have arrived ten minutes ago, yet you couldn’t hear their voice from outside, and they hadn’t texted any-.

A gunshot soared through the air, followed by shouting and screaming from outside the room.

Tara and you looked at each other, horrified and ran to the door. When you tore it open you knew wherever Anika and the others were, they would either come too late, or never make it. Ghostface was standing over two of the four officers’ bodies that were here to protect you, their throats cut open. They were gasping desperately for air, with the only result of ultimately inhaling their own blood. Sam was facing you, right next to the door. She was probably on her way to warn you both. She was bleeding from a deep wound in her shoulder, holding some white and red stripes of clothing in her hand.

Time seemed to freeze as light dawned on you. Ghostface’s mask had been damaged. Two small pieces of it were missing, revealing not much of her face. But that was all enough for you. You could see her dark green eyes. You could see her grin. Nobody else had that grin and she only had it when she was having the time of her life.

Annabelle charged towards you.

#my stuff #fanfiction #scream fanfic #scream fanfiction #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #tara x reader #tara carpenter imagine #Jenna Ortega #Jenna x reader #tara carpenter x you #fanfic #Scream #Anika Kayoko #Mindy Meeks #Chad Meeks #Sam Carpenter #Save me from Her

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ageofbajabule · 9 months ago

Text

Dawn of Love | Chapter 5

Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Word Count: 6.7k

Warnings: Fluff, Talks of Death, Talks of Cancer/Cancer treatment, Angst, Oral Sex (M! Receiving), Fingering (F! Receiving), Car Sex, Unprotected Sex, Arguing, Crying, Talks of Doubt, Talks of Abandonment, Death, Sad!Josh (I apologize in advance), Heartbreak.

Author’s Note: We have officially entered frat boy era Josh🤩 And I’m sad to say this will be the only chapter of Frat boy/rat tail Josh :( But trust the process and the vision I have for this series. We’re halfway through it🥹

May 2016

Sophomore year of college was completed, you somehow managed to maintain your GPA. Even after finding out everything last fall. Josh was really your rock through it all, he helped push you through the year. You were absolutely terrified that you would flunk out from the assignments you had missed out on, but Josh was more than helpful to assist you in getting them done.

The guys had managed to start playing more bars, they even were starting to work on an EP with a label. They were more than thrilled as you were. Josh had assured you over the last few months that he was happy about his decision and that it wasn’t because of Jake. He wanted to do it too.

Your father’s treatments were going well, or at least better for most. Your relationship had gotten better, it was sad how the idea of death brought the two of you together. But it was better now than never. Your weeks consisted of photo clientele, and making your dad’s treatment appointments. He kept telling you that you didn’t have to go, but you insisted on being there every step of the way to fight it with him.

Josh and your dad had even gotten closer themselves, which you were thrilled about. You wanted them to have a good relationship, considering you saw a future with Josh. The two of them would go fishing together with Jake and Kelly, to help get your dad’s mind off of things for a while.

Your sister Oliva and yourself dedicated every Sunday to be a spa day for the two of you to debrief and relax after a long week. It was much needed for the two of you, your sister was going into her senior year now and preparing to send applications to college’s. Her and Sam had even been spending more time together, a little more than usual. But you and Josh had encouraged them to be with one another. Although your sister kept on telling you that it wasn’t like that… But you knew it was exactly that.

Even with all of that going on, Josh made sure after every practice the guys had or anytime they went to record at the studio that he would spend much needed time with you. He prioritized your relationship just as much as he did his and his brother’s career. You were excited for them, especially being able to hear the raw uncut work before it’s finalized.

You had gotten offered a great program to jumpstart your filming and directing career especially only going into your junior year. You had been working on extra side projects to earn this program, and finally got accepted into to hopefully graduate a year earlier.

“Sunny.” Josh called out to you.

“What’s up?” You smiled softly.

“So, the guys and I have to go to Nashville in July for some recording sessions…”

“That’s awesome.” You smiled weakly.

“I was kind of hoping you would join us. Well me at least anyways.” He scratched the back of his head. His freshly cut hair, he let go of the length and went short. With an undercut. He looked absolutely hot.

“You want me to come along?”

“I mean of course. It's going to be a week-long trip, and I figured you would like to tag along.” He smiled sitting beside you.

“I’d love to come. Will the guys be okay with it?” You worried about crashing the trip.

“Jake actually suggested you join. To make sure we didn’t drive each other insane.” He chuckled.

You laughed softly, nodding in agreement with him. “Yeah, you guys can get pretty heated.”

“I also figured you needed a break too though. From everything you’ve been going through.” He sat beside you, holding your hand.

“They say he’s getting better, but he looks worse now than he did before…” You felt tears threatening your eyes thinking about your father’s current state. “What if he doesn’t make it Josh? What am I supposed to do?”

“Sunny…” His voice softened, “Your dad is strong. I believe he’ll win this battle. He’s got a great team of doctors and an amazing support system.” He rubbed your shoulders. “If something were to happen, and I hope nothing does… You just remember him. Remember him healthy, remember the good times, remember him happy.”

Tears started to stream down your face. “I’m so scared Josh… I don’t want him to go…” You wrapped your arms around him sobbing into his chest.

“I know baby… I know.” He consoled you, rubbing your back as he hugged you tightly.

“If something were to happen, you’ll be there, right?” You sniffled looking at him.

“Of course, Y/N. You call me and I will be right there.” He cupped your cheek in his hands, kissing your lips softly.

“I love you.” He smiled resting his forehead against yours.

“I love you too.” You sighed softly as you felt yourself calm down.

After sitting there in a moment of silence you finally gathered yourself, becoming excited about joining them on their trip to Nashville.

“Sooo, do you have anything fun planned for us when we go down?” You smiled softly.

“I might have a few things up my sleeve…” He smirked softly.

“Not even a hint?” You tried your best puppy dog look.

“Nope. You’ll just have to wait and see.” He kissed your cheek.

You groaned getting up from your bed. “You’re no fun.”

“I can’t ruin any surprises!” He argued back jokingly.

July 2016

The guys and yourself flew into Nashville, the flight wasn’t that long which you were grateful for. The entire flight Sam kept talking about your sister Olivia. Which made you realize just how much the two of them liked each other. Although your sister would deny such a thing.

The guys had managed to get a nice cabin, a few miles out from the city. They felt it would be a nice change than staying in the busy city. And Josh always loves taking advantage of nature when he can. He loved being outdoors, just as much as Sammy did.

That was your first stop of the day, settling into your cabin. Josh and yourself found a room that had a nice view of the mountains, it was also the master suite. The guys made their jokes of course about the two of you which you just ignored as Josh lectured them all.

“When do you guys head to the studio?” You unpacked your bag as Josh does.

“We have to be there for 3. It's probably going to be a long night…” He gave a half smile.

“It’s only the first day. It’s okay, we have the rest of the week to do whatever you have planned.” You smiled at him softly.

“It’s just we have to try and get this EP done. Especially since they want to release our first single soon. Which we still haven’t even perfected.” He sighed softly.

“Hey, that’s why you guys have been coming down here. It will work out, don’t stress about it. I believe in you.” You cupped his face in your hands.

“It’s just. This is Jake’s dream… And I want to help him every step of the way.”

“You are helping him. I mean look at you guys… These past two years that I’ve known you. You’ve shown me how much you have helped him. You guys are literally here. Recording your first ever EP!” You kissed his lips softly.

He kissed you back softly. “Yeah… You’re right. I don’t know why I’m freaking.” He chuckled nervously.

“Well, it's not exactly an easy thing you guys are doing. You’re putting your heart and soul into this. All bands have to start out somewhere… But you guys, you have something that no other band has.” You caressed his cheek.

He smiled at you lovingly, “What would that be?”

“The love you have for one another. You guys are brothers. And there is no stronger bond than that, I mean Danny fits right in. He was the perfect puzzle piece for you all.”

“Yeah… I honestly don’t know how we would’ve made it this far.” He smiled softly. “Thank you for believing in me, believing in us Sunny.”

“Always and forever Josh.” You kissed his cheek softly.

“Are you guys almost finished unpacking? We want to head to some restaurant not too far from the studio before we’re there all night.” Sam yelled up.

“Jesus Samuel, give us 5 minutes!” Josh rolled his eyes, causing you to giggle.

“Come on, let’s finish and get out of here before they barge in here thinking we’re up to no good.”

“So what if we’re up to no good…” He smirks at you.

“Absolutely not, not right now Joshua.” You give him a stern look.

“Ouch. Joshua… Really Y/N.”

“I’m serious, let’s finish up and go.” You patted his chest continuing to finish unpacking.

The restaurant was really only two blocks away from their recording studio. Which was a nice advantage, the food was delicious and the portions were massive leaving mostly everyone with some sort of leftover.

Once arriving at the studio the guys started setting up some of their own gear while the studio had extra gear for them to use as well. You smiled softly as you watched Jake be completely mesmerized by the studio. This studio was a whole lot different than the one back in Michigan.

Josh was checking out the recording booth for himself to see what space he was working with. It wasn’t as small as the one back home. The rest of the guys got settled in and started to tune their instruments, while Danny tested the drum kit out.

You’ve heard some of their unrecorded songs, while there were many. They only were brought down to 4 choices. You absolutely loved ‘Flower Power’ although that was Jake’s song he had written for a certain someone that he wouldn’t disclose, so you never bothered him about it.

You had a feeling deep down their biggest hit would be ‘Highway Tune’. It was definitely a song that would reach a big crowd with Jake’s riff, Josh’s vocals, Danny’s drum skills and Sam’s bass skills. Honestly any song from the EP will blow people away.

“Sunny, they’re calling me into the booth.” Josh came over kissing your lips softly.

“Go kill it, rockstar.” You giggled softly, as you watched him go off into the booth. They played a backtrack from ‘Black Smoke Rising’ which the guys had been working on for Josh to sing.

You sat on the couch there, watching him sing his heart out in the booth smiling big as you were amazed by his vocal range only knowing it was going to be even better as the years went by.

After about two hours they were pretty much finished with the samples they needed from Josh for the day. While the rest of the guys recorded their samples for the rest of the night until they had to return back tomorrow.

Josh came sitting by you on the couch, wrapping an arm around your shoulder pulling you close to him. In which you snuggled into him.

“Are you feeling alright?” He spoke softly.

“A little tired, but it’s worth it.” You smiled softly.

“Me too, mama. I’m beat after today. I’m sure they are too, but luckily on Wednesday we’re going to the lake.” He kissed your cheek.

“Really?” You smiled softly.

“Mhm, just the two of us. A nice picnic with my beautiful girl.” He caressed your cheek kissing your forehead.

“God, can you two ever get a room?” Sam made a gagging noise.

“Sammy boy… You act as if you haven’t been affectionate with a lady before.” You gave him a questioning look.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His face was a little red.

“Oh but I think you do…” You giggled softly, knowing your sister and him have definitely been seeing each other more.

“Yeah, Sam… Smooching all up with Olivia…” Josh chimed in.

“Seriously guys.” He groaned walking away to finish up recording, as the two of you sat there laughing.

“I think it's cute. I’m glad they have one another.” You smiled at Josh.

“Yeah, it's kind of ironic though.” He chuckled.

“Honestly, I would've thought my sister would pick a jock over a musician. But she surprised me…” You giggle softly.

“I didn’t think you would fall for a theater kid.” Josh smiled at you.

“With my love for film… I’m glad I fell for a theater kid.”

Wednesday came quicker than expected, you guys had been in Nashville since Sunday and would be heading back home early Sunday morning. The last few days had been filled with exploring downtown Nashville while also going to the recording studio with the guys. They would have to come back down a few more times this year before they could actually wrap up the EP. As it still “needed word” as the label stated.

But today was a day off from the studio leaving you and Josh to go to the lake as planned, while the rest of the guys went kayaking.

You put on your favorite swim piece that you knew drove Josh crazy. Wearing your overalls over the top of it. You smiled to yourself as you slipped your sandals on and grabbed your bag with towels, blankets and sunscreen. While Josh had the cooler in his hand. The two of you took a short drive to where the lake was, as it wasn’t far from the cabin you were staying at.

“God it’s beautiful down here.” You sighed contently taking in the scenery

“Yeah, it is.” Josh smiles softly, looking over to you.

“I wouldn’t mind moving down here… In the future of course.” You giggled softly.

“Really?”

“I mean yeah. Winter’s aren’t as bad as Michigan. And the summer is obviously nice as well.” You started to walk toward the lake.

“Yeah, you’re not wrong.” He rubbed your back following behind you.

Once you found a spot the two of you placed the blanket down. While Josh set up the picnic he had for the two of you. You smiled sitting down on the blanket after helping him, then he sat next to you.

“Do you- god this is probably stupid…” Josh chuckled nervously.

“What is it?” You smiled pulling a water bottle out.

“Do you think we’ll get a home together one day?” He scratched the back of his neck.

You felt your cheeks flush, “Yeah… I think one day we will.”

He smiled brightly, setting up the little picnic of sandwiches, fruit and chips. As well as a bottle of wine.

“Trying to get me wine drunk in the daylight, Joshy?” You giggled softly.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” He raised an eyebrow laughing softly, as he pulled out solo cups to pour the wine into.

The two of you sat there talking about everything that was coming up later in the year. How the guys would have a few promotional things coming up, and. your projects you had with school coming up as well.

The weather was beautiful out, it wasn’t so hot out that it was unbearable. It was the perfect weather you could ask for. As you ate, you watched over the lake seeing the birds fly over, chirping away. You felt home, and free with Josh. The most at peace you’ve felt in a while.

After finishing up eating the two of you decided to swim in the lake, as the heat picked up a bit since you got there. But the water was perfect, the two of you swam for a while. Then decided to head back to the cabin to prepare dinner for the guys and yourselves.

Pulling up to the cabin you noticed the guys arrived not too long ago from their day out kayaking. Jake and Josh both shared a similar sun-kissed face from the long day out. Sam’s back was as red as a lobster causing you to giggle softly.

“Jeez Sammy, did you forget to reapply?”

“Daniel was supposed to remind me…” He winced in pain.

“Listen man, I was zoned out and totally blanked.” Danny tried defending himself.

Shaking your head laughing softly, you all tredge inside. “Sam there should be some Aloe in the bathroom upstairs. Danny can help you apply it, while Josh and I get dinner ready for everyone.”

Danny nods his head and runs upstairs grabbing that for Sam to help relieve the pain and reduce his skin from peeling.

Josh insisted on making pasta, with his signature sauce. In which you couldn’t argue as he was a good cook. You helped make a side of salad for everyone, while baking some garlic bread.

After finishing up making everything, you brought it to the dining table, calling everyone to eat. In which all the guys pretty much rushed in, Sam now a little more relaxed after Danny had helped apply aloe on his back. Jake couldn’t help but pile his plate with food right away.

“Thanks for letting me come along on this trip guys… I really needed it.” You smiled softly as you made your plate up.

“Of course! You’re always welcome to come and tag along.” Sam chimed in, as well as the other guys.

“Honestly Y/N, I think if you didn’t come we wouldn’t have lasted the whole week here.” Jake chuckled softly.

“Yeah, cause at least at home. Their mom is able to break up the fights.” Danny laughed softly, while the twins shook their heads.

“I’m really glad you joined us too for this… Whenever we tour the world… I want you to be there. Every step of the way.” Josh smiled rubbing his thumb over your cheek. As he plants a soft kiss to your lips. Earning groans and gagging noises from the rest.

“Oh shut up, just cause you don’t have girlfriends or your girlfriends aren’t here doesn’t mean I can’t show some PDA.” Josh argued with them.

“Alright, alright let’s just eat. Okay?” You giggled softly looking at everyone.

They all just nodded, and began to eat whatever was on the table for dinner. There were no complaints, just compliments and discussions of what was to come, and talking about childhood memories.

But, Josh truly did brighten your days, even after all the dark that has happened within the last year. And you couldn’t be more grateful to have him a part of your life, as well as the rest of the guys. They were your family, and you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

April 2017

The guys have officially released their EP this month, and you couldn’t be any more proud of them. Karen hosted a small gathering at their house with Danny’s family to join as well.

All of you were sitting in the basement, you were sitting on Josh’s lap. While your sister had been cozying up with Sam. They finally became official right around Christmas after the months of everyone piecing it together that were in fact together.

Danny and Jake strummed on their guitars as Jake has been teaching Danny more on how to play. You smiled to yourself knowing that these were your people, and you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“So what’s the plan now? A tour I’d presume?” You smiled at them.

“Some shows around cities. I think they have a few festivals lined up for us, which surprised us. And then we’re releasing a double-EP later this year.” Jake smiled softly.

“That’s exciting! I’m so happy for you guys, it’s all happening.”

“Couldn’t have done it without everyone.” Jake smiled softly.

You smiled softly, eventually getting up from Josh’s lap stretching your legs out. You put your hand out for him. “Come on.” You smiled softly.

“Where are we going?” He chuckled softly.

“For a drive.” You giggled softly, pulling him with you as you left the house getting into your Jeep that you got for yourself after your car practically died on you.

“Where are we going, Sunny?” He tried to pry it out of you.

“You’ll know once we get there.” You giggled softly.

You were taking him to the abandoned cabin he had taken you too, a few years ago. It had been awhile since the two of you have sat there to relax and clear your minds. It always brought you a sense of comfort when visiting there.

Surprisingly no one has bought it yet, you figured it was destiny’s way of telling you the two of you would own it one day.

After driving for a little while, you pulled up seeing Josh smiling softly out of your peripheral vision. You parked the car, opening the trunk to the back of the Jeep to sit in with Josh.

“We haven’t been here in a while…” He chuckled softly, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“I figured we needed a well deserved trip here.” You smiled taking in the view of the acres that swallowed the cabin. It was more than likely a very beautiful home years ago, but after being vacated it wasn’t taken care of and left to rot basically.

“You just wait… One day, I’m gonna buy this.” He kissed your cheek softly.

“Not if I beat you to it.” You giggled softly.

“You’re gonna be an amazing film director.” He rubbed your shoulder. “It’s crazy that you’re going to be graduating next year already… And I’m going to be touring and producing more music…”

“I couldn’t be more proud of you, Josh.”

“I’m undeniably more proud of you, Y/N.” He kissed your lips softly.

You smiled into the kiss, placing your hand on his chest softly.

Josh cupped your face with his one hand, deepening the kiss. Causing a quiet moan to tumble from your lips. He smirked against your lips, trailing kisses down your neck softly.

A breathy moan came from you, as you slid your hand over to his crotch, feeling him harden beneath your hand. You smiled softly as you palmed him slowly, earning a groan from him as he left wet kisses.

Luckily you were practically out in the middle of nowhere, so no one would catch the two of you like this. Taking matters into your hands, you gently pulled away and began to unbutton his pants.

“Come on… Let me be nice to her.” He mumbled.

“Ah, this is about you right now.” You shushed him as you kissed his lips softly, continuing to unbutton his pants and shift them down along with his boxers springing his hard cock free.

You wrapped your hand around the base pumping him slowly as you see the tip is flushed and leaking with pre cum, taking your tongue you lick the tip gently earning a groan from him.

He pulled your hair back with his hand, making a makeshift ponytail. You smiled softly, as your mouth sinks down over him. Using your hand to pump as you try to fit all of him into your mouth, relaxing your throat to not gag.

His grip on your hair tightens as he moans and praises you. Feeling the heat grow between your legs, you keep your pace up, not breaking it to keep him where you want him. Using your other hand you massage his balls, as he bucks his hips making you gag slightly.

“Fuck, Y/N…”

You hummed along his length, making him buck his hips again. You pulled your mouth off of him, pumping him still as he took your face kissing your lips roughly as your teeth clashed together.

You began to remove your leggings, as Josh dipped his hand past your lace panties, feeling how wet you were for him.

“You’re gonna be the death of me…” He chuckled softly, kissing your neck, as he slipped two fingers into you pumping them slowly curling them as he hit your spot.

Whining quietly, you kiss his neck softly while trailing behind marks.

“There’s no one out here baby. S’just us.” He smiles softly, as he continues to work his fingers. You let your moans slip more frequently as you were nearing your end.

“Josh, I-“

“I know mama, let go.” He worked you through your first orgasm as it washed over you, you tilted your head back as you saw stars.

Pulling his fingers, he sucks on them making sure to get every drop of you as he hums contently. He then removes your panties, as he places his hands on your waist letting you hover over his lap. You kissed his lips softly, as he fumbled around his pants pockets.

“Shit…” He groans quietly.

“What’s wrong?” You caress his face.

“I don’t have a condom with me…”

“If you want to continue, I’m on birth control. It’s only one time…” You smile softly, as you and Josh had always used protection just for the sake of avoiding the chances of a pregnancy scare.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you…” He grabbed your face gently.

You nodded, “I’m more than sure. It’s okay, I trust you.” You smiled, kissing his lips softly, feeling him line himself up with you.

Slowly you sink down, feeling him stretch you out. As the two of you gasp feeling each other for the very first time without a layer of latex. It felt different and so much better, but you knew this would be the only time for a while.

“God… I’m not sure I’ll last.” He moans underneath you, holding your waist firmly.

“Look at me…” You grabbed his face gently, as he locked eyes with you. “I know this feels different than normal, but we’ll make it last.” You kissed his lips softly as you kept a slow pace on rolling your hips.

Kissing you back, he moaned into your mouth as the two of you got lost in each other. He gripped your hips some more, before moving his hands down to your ass gripping firmly as he spread your cheeks earning moans from you as you continued to ride him.

After riding at a slow pace, you decided to pick the pace up a bit. Bouncing on his cock, earning a groan from him as he smacks your ass. Earning a yelp from you, placing your hands on his chest to help hold yourself. He grabbed your face, kissing you roughly.

After a few more rolls of your hips, he was thrusting up to meet your hips. He was starting to falter a bit, signaling he was closer than he thought.

“Baby, I… Where?” His hair was sticking to his forehead as sweat was beating down his face.

“Inside…” You whined, throwing your head back.

He held you close to him as he took over, using his feet to thrust into you using his free hand to rub circles onto your clit to bring you to your last orgasm.

“Fuck…” You felt your body go into overdrive as you orgasm crashed like a wave. And he wasn’t too far as he groaned thrusting two more times after he finally stilled inside of you, coating you inside with his release.

You rest your forehead against his, panting with him as he smiles softly kissing your lips. You kissed him back giggling softly, as he slipped out of you carefully, grabbing napkins to clean up your mess.

After cleaning yourselves up, you put your pants back on, deciding on sitting and watching the stars for the rest of the evening together.

June 2018

The guys released their double-EP back in November. They even toured in Europe for the Spring while doing some shows here in the states during the summer.

You graduated just a month ago, giving you the free time to go on the small leg of the tour with the guys, it was fun being on the road with them. But sharing a small van with 4 guys could be a bit much.

Josh and yourself had started considering getting an apartment in the city somewhere, or waiting to rent a home until the two of you could afford to buy a home. As your relationship was getting more serious. But you also weren’t sure if you wanted to stay in Michigan to pursue your film and photography career.

While being on the road with them, you always called home to check in on your dad. You felt a little guilty for not being there with him, but he assured you that it would be better if you went out and saw a little bit of the world with the guys.

On your way back home, Josh and yourself decided that he would stay over for the weekend while you guys looked over more listings and figured out where you wanted to live. As you had to get a head start on diving into your career.

After being dropped off, you guys said your goodbyes to the rest of the guys walking into your very empty and quiet house. Which threw you off guard, but you figured maybe your family went out to the lake for the day. And ventured upstairs to your bedroom with Josh.

“So I did get an offer for Nashville.” You smiled softly as you set your bags down.

“That’s amazing!” Josh smiles, kissing your cheek.

“It’s just, with everything with my dad… I don’t know if moving to Nashville is too sudden or selfish of me.” You sighed sitting on your bed.

“Sunny, it’s not selfish. I think it's great if you want to move to Nashville. The scene down there… I mean you saw it. It’s always busy, and I’m sure you would fit right in.” He rubbed your hand gently.

“And the guys and I have been talking about moving down there ourselves… With working on our first full album, we’re going to be traveling a lot there. And figured we would save ourselves.” He chuckled softly.

“It wouldn’t hurt I guess…” You smiled shyly. Then your phone started ringing, seeing your mom’s contact appear.

“Mom. Wait, I can barely understand you… I, it’s DAD! I’ll be there, just wait.” You hung up with her, looking at Josh frantically.

“We have to go, it's my dad.” You scattered around your room finding your car keys, as tears filled your eyes.

“Sunny, woah! Let me drive, you’re in no shape.” He grabbed the keys from you, helping you out of the car, opening the door for you. He hopped in the driver's side starting the car up and heading over to the hospital.

On the way over it felt like forever although Josh was practically blowing almost every stop sign to get you there as quickly as possible. You were crying and fidgeting your hands nervously not knowing what’s going on.

After a few minutes Josh snapped you out of your daze, and helped you rush inside the hospital asking the receptionist where he was located and immediately you were taken back with Josh following right behind you. When finding the room you walk in to see your mom sitting beside your father crying at his hand, while your sister sat in the corner crying.

This was it… His time has come. And there was no way of turning back…

“Hey… pumpkin.” He spoke softly, but tried to sound enthusiastic as he smiled weakly.

“Dad…” You rushed over to his other side, grabbing his hand kissing it softly as tears kept coming down your face.

“Hey now… No crying. We prepared for this.” He used his one hand to rub your cheek, you moved your hand on top of his.

“I’m not ready Dad…” You cried into his touch, as he kept rubbing your cheek.

“Yes you are Y/N. You’ve been ready… It’s time to make something of yourself and to make me proud.”

“I’m scared.” You whispered as you choked back tears.

“There’s no need, I’ll always be with you… And you have your mom, sister and Josh. Come on over here son…” He choked up.

Josh rushed over to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder rubbing circles reassuringly.

“Hi Sir…” He smiled weakly as tears filled his eyes.

“Treat her right, just like you always have… And whenever the time may come or be.” A few tears slipped from your dads eyes. “You have my blessing.”

Josh smiled softly, as a few tears slipped. “I’ll make sure she is always taken care of. You won’t ever have to worry.” He chuckled softly, as your dad nodded in agreement.

“Dad, I love you so so much…” You stifled back a sob.

“And I love you pumpkin, more than you’ll ever know. Come here.” He motioned for you, and you embraced him as best as you could hugging him tightly and he hugged you back as tight as his body would let him.

You pulled away, standing beside Josh while your sister came over to your mom, as you all stayed beside your dad for the last few minutes of his life.

After moments had passed and your father shared his last breath. You stood there in silence as your mother’s sobs soared the room as well as your sisters. Whereas you stood silent taking in everything. Feeling yourself close off, you backed away slowly feeling completely numb.

Josh’s grip on your hand stayed as he followed you out of the room. “Sunny…” He called to you, shaking your head slightly and you felt tears threatening again.

“No… This isn’t supposed to… It isn’t real.” You broke out, sliding down against the wall in the hallway.

“Baby…” He kneeled down to you, trying to pick you up as you pushed his hands away.

“This isn’t fair Josh! He deserved more.” You cried looking up at him. “He needed more time!”

Josh nodded, picking you up engulfing you in a hug as you wrapped yourself around him, crying into his chest.

“I’m here, let it out.” He rubbed your back softly. And you did, you stood there letting it all out, accepting your father was gone.

One Month Later

A week after your father’s passing your family held a funeral service and a burial. It was beautiful and the outcome was nice, seeing family from Florida and childhood friends from there too for support in these hard times.

Josh had been helping you through it, completely being by your side while attending to his duties with the band. You were grateful, but felt bad for taking him away from his responsibilities. You had been trying to get yourself busy with work, getting clients for photoshoots before making a decision on where you’ll be taking your career off.

Although Josh and yourself haven’t decided on where you would move too. In fact the conversation hasn’t been brought up since the night of your father’s death. You didn’t want your decision to depend on Josh, but you didn’t want to wait around much longer either and ruin your chances at jumpstarting your opportunity.

You were pretty set to move to Nashville especially with an offer you were given. There was a really nice apartment that you had set a deposit on, although there were other potential tenants that could beat you to it. But you were hopeful.

Lately you’ve felt a little out of place, with everything. You haven’t felt like the best partner to Josh lately, and have felt like you’ve been lacking at what you love to do. And a tour was coming up again for him in another few months. You had already started packing up most things in your room to prepare for whenever the day would come to pack up and go.

“Sunny! We are so freaking lucky for this next small tour! You get to come with us.” He smiled brightly, embracing you tightly.

You hugged him back, smiling weakly to yourself. Feeling a little nervous with what you’re about to say.

“Josh…”

“I know what you’re thinking, ‘I don’t want to intrude on your guys' time.’ And you wouldn’t be!” He pulled away smiling at you still.

“Josh it’s not that…” You chewed on your lip nervously.

“What’s the matter?” He looked at you concerned.

“I accepted an offer…”

“I thought you were going to take the year off?” He questioned.

“Josh I can’t just take a year off!” You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “I have to jumpstart my career, while I can. If I don’t start now, I never will… And I don’t want to be stuck here…”

“But you can come and be our personal photographer… And, what’s so bad about here?” He tried to reason with you.

“I could never bloom with my career here… There’s just no way, and I can’t be your personal photographer… Sure it would be nice. But I have to do this for myself Josh. You guys can’t always be the ones to help me out.” You smiled weakly, placing your hand on his cheek.

“I just don’t understand… We can work through it and get your career going.”

“Because I have to do this on my own!” You yelled, a little louder than you’d like to admit.

He stood back a bit, looking at you. “So what are we supposed to do?”

“I thought you would support me, and tell me to go. And hopefully you would move in with me so that you can be home when you’re not touring the world.” You looked at him with tears building in your eyes.

“I can’t just pack my things up and move Y/N… The band. And we just aren’t entirely ready to move to Nashville just yet…” He looked at you, with a look that was breaking your heart.

“So… You’ve just been lying to me for months…”

“It’s not like that Sunny!” He sounded frustrated, “It’s far from that. I love you so much. But I mean I can’t just pack up and go with where we are in our career with the band…”

“And you expected me to give up mine?” You felt the tears start to fall. “I thought we were, I thought this was…”

“This doesn’t have to end… You’re still my girl, and my love has never changed for you.” He caressed your cheek, wiping away the tears.

“No… Because I’m just going to hold you back… and we’re at completely different points of our life right now. It would just make things difficult.” You looked up at him, your heart breaking as you spoke.

“You wouldn’t hold me back.” He chuckled softly.

You pulled away, “Yes I would, and I already have… After my dad died, you’ve been making sure to be there for me all the time. Sometimes calling things off with the band, you can’t jeopardize your career for me.”

“I can manage how I handle things… Y/N don’t do this.” He looked to you with pleading eyes, tears building up as they began to fall.

“No. I can’t hold you back. I have to let you go and be you…” You choked on your words, caressing his cheek.

“This was supposed to be forever…” His voice broke, as he looked down at you. He ran his thumb over your lips.

“I just think with everything going on… We’re at completely different places in our lives right now. And it’s not fair to either one of us Josh.” You breathed through your broken sobs.

“I’m never going to stop loving you, you know that right?” He held your face in his hands.

You nodded looking at him, “I’ll never stop loving you…” You smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him one last time. His lips connected with yours as the two of you shared your last kiss together.

After pulling apart from one another you gave him a look. “Just don’t hold back because of me. If later on you find someone… Don’t be afraid to move on.” You gave him a half smile caressing his cheek.

“Don’t even go there… There won’t be anyone else. I’ll wait. Till you are ready.” He smiled softly, capturing you one final time.

To be continued

Taglist-

@fkfearandliveyourlegend @hi-hi-hello11 @gretnavannfleet @gvfmuse @meetingthestardust @myleftsock @twistedmelodies @thunderstomp-and-tequila @devilat-thedoor @vanillabear27 @dharma-divine33 @holybananafuck @thecoldwind @gretavanmoon @maren-gvf @itsafullmoon @gretasfallingsky @wagnerbrainrot @piratejakesgf @wetkleenex-gvf

(if you’re not tagged it’s because your tag didn’t work so i’m sorry in advance)

#greta van fleet #gvf #josh kiszka #josh gvf #josh kiszka x reader #greta van smut #gvf smut #josh kiszka series #josh greta van fleet #joshua kiszka #josh kiszka greta van fleet #josh kiszka fic #dawn of love josh #greta van fleet fluff #greta van fic #greta van fleet fan fiction

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ponyosmom35 · 1 year ago

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comfort

Simon Riley x reader

Liability series chapter twenty eight

Synopsis: reader gets into a massive fight about politics with her father, leaving her upset as she and Simon go up to her room to calm her down.

Warnings: fighting, angst, cursing, fluff, Simon is a sweetheart.

Liability series:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

she rushes up to her room with Simon hot on her trail. His heavy footsteps following hers as shes stomp to her childhood room. She slams the door open ignoring the loud yells from her father from downstairs. She paces back and forth as Simon gently closes the door.

“no he’s such a fucking idiot! I literally don’t understand how the fuck he can act this way?! Like he doesn’t fucking listen, he just waits for me to be done talking so he can push his idiotic views on me fuck it’s so goddamn stupid I hate being here!” she rants loudly

“baby” Simon says gently

She whip around to face him, her red and angry face finds him sitting on her bed scratching the back of his head. “am I wrong? I mean you can’t just pick and choose when you support trans rights, you can’t sit here and say that you don’t care what people do as long as their happy and then turn around and make all of those horrible points! what the fuck that is fucking insane and it makes me sick that he thinks that way! It doesn’t even make any fucking sense” she exclaims

“love-”

“Simon he just keep interrupting me without letting me get a single point out, like that isn’t how you have a fucking conversation let me speak, why don’t you respect me enough to hear what I have to say?”

“y/n-”

“I listen to him and once I start to speak about something that he doesn’t agree with- that's when he stops listening. Give me basic respect goddamn he has no idea how to talk to somebody then the fucking gaslighting starts, ‘oh I'm sorry I’m a terrible father who you can't stand I love you more than you'll ever know’ shut the fuck up with that I’m not gonna feel sorry for you and apologize this is a matter of human fucking rights-”

“baby stop, take a deep breath” Simon interrupts. She glares at him as she attempts to keep her anger at her father rather than shifting it to him. “do you agree with him or something?” she asks, crossing her arms.

Simon stands and places his hands on her shoulders, staring down at her lovingly. He knew that it took quite a lot to work her up to the point where she would actually fight. Once she reached that level she was not gonna back down. Though he didn’t like seeing her fight with her father, he coudln’t help but admire the way she stuck up for what she believed in. He smiles “no I’m so proud of you and how you fought for what's right. you are 100% correct with everything you said”

“its so fucking infuriating” She says as her lips begins to tremble. Her eyes gloss over and she tries to blink away the tears but they fall quickly. He pulls her into a hug instantly, rubbing her back comfortingly. “I know lovie”

“I’m not even upset it’s just…” She trials off “I get it” he responds

Simon pulls back slightly, pushing her hair behind her ears and wiping the tears. She sniffles and he lets her go, allowing her to take off her glasses and clean them off from the fresh tears. She stares at the wall as the voices of her parents arguing through the walls pierces her ears. Simon wraps himself around her, pulling ger into him as he holds his head on her shoulder. She holds onto his forearm as he begins rocking them back and forth. He starts kissing her neck, knowing how ticklish she was there.

She bursts out laughing at the song and allow him to turn her body, so they were facing each other. He pulls her into him, lifting her up in the air over his shoulder. She gasps as the air is taken from her lungs and wheezes loudly. “put me down” she laughs

“sorry love, I can’t control myself” he says in his thick british accent. She cackles as he spins us around three times. His hand slaps her ass as he allows her to slide down to his chest. He holds her body close and falls limp, smiling up at him. He clutches her tighter and she gasps as it begins to hurt. She wraps her arms around his neck and pull myself around him. Allowing him to hold her like a child.

“I love you so much” she said.

“I love you too darling”

a/n

this is based on a real fight I got into with my dad, I wish I had a Simon to calm me down ugh

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chloeangelic · 1 year ago

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😭Why am I crying in the club rn?😭

Listed by author in alphabetical order cause I'm an organized bitch, here are the fics that made me Sit And Think™️ (or cry) in 2023, or

✨ my top 5 gut wrenching authors selection ✨

featuring @atinylittlepain @cherubispunk @macfrog @netherfeildren and @5oh5 🤍🤍🤍

Everyone knows I love angst, I love terrible gut wrenching pain and suffering and then I love it when my tears are drying on my cheeks and they fuck nasty, hell yeah 😎

So if you're like me, here are some recommendations!!

💙 @atinylittlepain

Deliver Me From Nowhere

Read the whole thing in one night and cried repeatedly during. I had it looming in the back of my mind for weeks but didn't feel like I was in the right headspace until I suddenly was, and it hit differently. I love Dolores, I love Joel, I love how he sees her, their dynamic, the exploration of her emotions and headspace, her body language. Fantastic. Want to cry just thinking about it so I'm gonna STOP.

June

Sat and stared at the wall for a long time after this one, then worked up the courage to post TMWH which I seriously don't think I would've had the guts to post had it not been for June. I love how it handles a sensitive, painful, and very real subject, I love that it doesn't paint Joel as a fixer or savior but rather a realistic, kind partner. Again, his understanding of her and how he makes space for her is something I appreciate so much in DMFN and June.

💗 @cherubispunk

Cherub

This one is an excruciating Sit And Think - I didn't cry but I sat there paralyzed for 48 hrs with a thousand yard stare, just thinking intensely about it, after my second read through. Two chapters and I'm already messed tf up over it!! I read them in the middle of the night and then during the day and I have never been this messed up over something labeled PWP before. The passion, the ominous vibes, Cherub being so soft and Joel having this strange dark vibe... I literally just thought about it constantly for two days and I still can't fully put my finger on why. It just slithered into my brain and I still think about it often and go back to read bits and pieces like a little treat.

💚 @macfrog

All Three Dogs

Max posted this on my most depressed day of 2023 so like fuck you ??? I'm sorry like this is phenomenally written and stunning but like what the fuck is wrong with u i'm not even giving u any more compliments on this one bruv sorry you made me like a DBF series and that's a mortal sin so YOU'RE DONE !!! Fucking dead mackerel eyes speak into the mic bitch chicago sunroof 1 after magna carta i am not crazy squat cobbler jesus christ marie lookin ass

Sweet Child O' Mine - particularly pt ii

This one is so cute and yet it hurts so much. It's so real, the MC is so... I don't even know what to say, she's so on her own and she seems so kind and selfless and it just hurts to think about her cause you can feel her love for her child and for Joel and ugh. She tries so hard to be the best person she can be for everyone and it's one of those situations where nobody is doing anything wrong and yet everyone either is already hurt or gonna get hurt, and I think it's that oscillation between love and hurt that really gets me. I also read this in the middle of the night and all I had to say in my RB was like "thanks for making me cry asshole" (I'm known for my profound commentary).

💜 @netherfeildren

Fear of God - particularly the epilogue

Fear of God is my all-time fav Joel series, the best Joel characterization I've come across and it generally set the tone for my taste in fic. It was the second series I started reading on here when I came back to Tumblr, and it's the first piece of writing that has ever truly moved me. His character arc is absolutely INSANE !! I made the mistake of reading the epilogue while listening to Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish, and for months I couldn't listen to it without crying. The day before my graduation, I kept listening to it on repeat in some strange form of self-torture and I had to explain to my bf why I was sobbing. Try to explain all of FoG in a coherent way through tears, I dare u ! I can't say much without spoiling but basically when I think back on getting into fanfic, FoG is what marks the beginning for me and I will never ever forget this piece of writing ever in my life. (Shoutout to when I got caught getting a nut off to one of the FoG extras - I can't really talk about the series without mentioning that)

The Cassandra Complex - particularly ch I, ch IV, and ch VIII

I didn't give much of a fuck about Din before TCC cause i saw him as like a taller hotter R2D2 and now here I am... Eating my words like a ration pack. I have to do a big girthy throbbing TCC reblog cause I have a lot to say about my fav series in the world but basically I can't read ch 4 without crying and even though this is a Star Wars fic and it makes no sense for me to relate to it the most out of anything on Vic's ML, sith girly is the most relatable MC thanks to her constantly feeling haunted by her past, feeling like she's hiding, feeling unworthy, torpedoing herself, and seeing so much beauty in others but struggling to see it in herself. I'll save the rest of my thoughts for the big RB but basically I've even cried at the fucking SMUT in this series like I'm on another planet when I read it (haha get it?? cause Star Wars??)

🧡 @5oh5

From Eden

Staring At The Wall Saturdays again - I hate how much I see my younger self in little sunflower girlie, I hate that I recognize how trapped she feels in her marriage. It's such an accurate portrayal of feeling chained to a man who doesn't deserve you, and of how guilty you feel for not even acting on feelings for someone else yet but just recognizing within yourself that you deserve better, like that pain of accepting that you're not treated right and that visceral feeling of unfairness that comes with being in the wrong relationship. The guilt you feel for even just thinking it, you know? And having to recognize how you've been treated. Ugh. Also this Joel is... His mannerisms are... I.... I'll be right back-

And now, for the most important award ever. The winner of

🏆Biggest Chloe Tear Jerker 2023🏆 is...

🎉 @netherfeildren 🎉 and this is her 24/7

#chloe recs

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nessieart · 9 months ago

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tooth&claw chapter 2

Read TEETH first to catch up!

t&c masterlist

Previous Chapter

Wc: 3.2k

An: man this took a real long time to get out. I’m so sorrry!

Pairings: Tony Stark x Shifter!reader

Age of Ultron

Warning: canon typical violence, language!, blood, alcohol use, fluff, angst. No y/n used. Nicknames: Poppy/Flowers

"But there wasn't anyone else in the building,” Maria spoke up. You helped her sit, her bare feet littered with broken glass.

Tony had rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt, a few cuts and bruises along his forearms, and a split lip, “Yes there was.” Tony flicks his wrist. The StarkPhone in his hand pops the now-destroyed 3D image of JARVIS' consciousness.

Bruce paces to the holo-image, hands out wide and in disbelief, “This is insane.”

Steve hangs his head in defeat, “JARVIS was the first line of defense. He would've shut Ultron down, it makes sense.”

“No,” Bruce shakes his head, “Ultron could've assimilated Jarvis. This isn't strategy, this is...rage,” and Bruce would know all about rage. You put your hand on his arm, giving a gentle squeeze.

Thor suddenly barges in the lab, strides quick and long, as he makes his way to Tony, and grabs hold of him by his throat.

“Woah, woah, woah!”

“It's going around.”

Tony chokes out a reply, hands grasping Thor's forearm for purchase, “Come on. Use your words, buddy.”

“I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark,” he lifts him higher in the air.

You jumped to your feet, making a b line to Thor. Your eyes flash a bright blue, fur violently threatening to rip through your skin as your fangs extend.

“Let. Him. Go,” you say on a low growl. You've placed yourself between Thor and Tony, your claws come out as Thor regards you.

“Thor!” Steve stepped forward, “The Legionnaire.”

Thor lets him go, and when Tony lands on his feet, he staggers, and his hand comes up to your shoulder, giving you a reassuring pat. You don't back down from Thor as he eyes you again, his lip curling up on one side.

“Trail went cold about a hundred miles out, but it's headed north, and it has the scepter. Now we have to retrieve it. Again.”

Natasha crosses her arms in front of her chest, “The genie's out of that bottle. Clear and present is Ultron.”

Dr. Cho was across the room, examining the destroyed Ultron bot he took over. She hadn't noticed the altercation in the middle of the room, “I don't understand. You built this program. Why is it trying to kill us?”

Everyone had leaped into action, everyone diving out of the way from the incoming Legionnaire bots. Firing repulsors and missiles at you all.

Steve had flipped the coffee table up just in time to protect himself from a flying Legionnaire bot to the chest.

Natasha grabbed Bruce and made a run for the bar for protection.

You had grabbed Rhodey's arm to shove him down when a repulsor caught the both of you in the side and sent you flying through a glass pane, Rhodey's body flying right after yours and landing on top of you. You groan, and he rolls off you. You can feel the tiny cuts from the glass along your face, a few bruises forming where you landed.

“Poppy, oh God, are you ok?” Hands frantically roaming above your body. He stops, “not to freak you out, but there's a large chunk of glass sticking out of your leg.”

You look down, sure enough, there's a large shard of glass sticking out of your thigh. You twist your body and grab the shard with two hands, and yank it out, yelping a little at the pain.

“Are you crazy!?” Rhodey takes both of his hands and clamps them over the gushing wound. You put your hand over his and go to move, “Stay still! Or you're gonna bleed out. Tony!”

“I'm fine, Rhodey. Really,” he goes to protest again, but you're already moving from his grasp and limping to move back to the main room. Most of the chaos has died down by now.

Rhodey helps you up the stairs just as Thor throws his hammer at the Legionnaire bot across the room.

Your eyes scan the room and land on Tony, he's slumped over his knees on the stairs across from you, and then his eyes catch yours, he looks so lost and defeated he doesn't even try to hide it.

Tony paces away from you towards his desk, stopping next to Bruce. And he starts laughing, Bruce subtly shakes his head at him to get him to stop.

Thor takes a step toward Tony, and you place yourself between them again. He stops himself short, “You think this is funny?”

Tony's laughter dies down to giggles, “No. It's probably not, right? Is this very terrible? Is it so... is it so... it is. It's so terrible.”

“This could've been avoided if you hadn't played with something you don't understand,” Thor points a threatening finger at Tony, and you growl in response.

“No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It is funny. It's a hoot that you don't get why we need this.”

“Tony,” your low growl is a warning.

“Tony,” Bruce hedges cautiously, “maybe this might not be the time to–”

“Really?!” He spins to Bruce, “ That's it? You just roll over, show your belly, every time somebody snarls.”

Your hackles rise, and you whirl around to say something, but Tony already regrets his choice or words when he meets your eye, and then quickly avoids it.

“Only when I've created a murder bot,” Bruce pleads.

“We didn't. We weren't even close. Were we close to an interface?”

“Well, you did something right,” Steve's stance is wide, arms still crossed against his chest, “And you did it right here. The Avengers were supposed to be different than SHIELD.”

Tony scoffs, “Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole? Saved New York?

“Recall that? A hostile alien army came charging through a hole in space. We're standing three hundred feet below it. We're the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the livelong day, but that up there? That's... that's the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?”

You knew Tony worried about other possible invasions, things he couldn't prepare enough for. He wakes up most nights in a panic. Other nights, he just doesn't sleep. You've tried to soothe him, reassure Tony that everything would be ok, as long as you were together. Together, you could weather whatever alien, supernatural, or evil forces threw at you.

Steves brows lower, chest puffing out slightly, “Together.”

“We'll lose.”

Steve drops his hands, brows now drawn together, “Then we'll do that together, too.”

Tony looks at him for a moment before turning away. He can't seem to look you in the eye. And when you take a step towards him, he puts a hand up and backs away.

A small whine escapes you, eyes pleading with him to let you in.

***

The conference room was a mess of folders, papers, and storage boxes. Trying to rifle through hundreds of physical documents on the off chance of finding something that links Strucker with anyone else.

Steve's rifling through folders, handing you papers to skim through, “Known associates. Well, Strucker had a lot of friends.”

“Well, these people are all horrible,” Bruce mutters.

You were reading through your own pile of papers when you heard Thor stop and come up beside you.

“What's this?”

Tony's brows furrow, scanning the image of a man, “Uh, it's a tattoo. I don't think he had it…”

“No, those are tattoos. This is a brand,” Thor confirms.

Bruce's fingers tap along the keyboard. After a moment, he perks up, “Oh, yeah. It's a word in an African dialect, meaning thief, in a much less friendly way.”

“What dialect?” Steve asks, putting his folders down.

“Wakanada...?” Bruce adjusts his glasses.

“Wakanda,” you say, Bruce raises his eyes to you, and Tony shifts from foot to foot.

Tony turns to Steve, his voice quieter than before, “If this guy got out of Wakanda with some of their trade goods…”

Steve, in turn, lowers his voice, “I thought your father said he got the last of it?”

“I don't follow. What comes out of Wakanda?”

“The strongest metal on earth.”

“Where is this guy now?” Steve asks the room.

–

After everyone had filed out of the conference room to gear up to leave, Tony pulled you into a corner, hand gripping firmly at your elbow.

“How do you know about Wakanda?” He lowers his head to catch your eye.

When you avoid it, he says your name, making you look up at him. His brow is set in a frown as he studies your face.

“I've run into Shifters and Weres that have come from Wakanda and neighboring countries,” his hand on your elbow drifts up to your shoulder, pulling you in a little.

You fall into him willingly, hands coming up to rest on his chest as you press your nose under his chin.

“They keep to themselves,” you continue, “the Shifters that guard the Royal Family. I'm positive there's Were blood in that lineage somewhere.”

Tony hums, his hands rubbing up and down your spine.

“I thought you were angry with me,” you mumble into his neck. He stiffens slightly and pulls back enough to look you in the eyes.

He shakes his head, “never. I was angry at myself. For JARVIS. For Ultron, for letting it get so..” he sighs. “I want - I need - to protect you. Everyone. I thought making Ultron a reality would be one step closer to that. To -”

You cut him off with a kiss, his lips molding against yours, and his body relaxes. All the fight and stress rolling off his shoulders just for a moment as you both get lost in the kiss.

His hands grip and pull at your waist to bring you closer, and your hands snake their way up and over his shoulders and into the hair at his nap. You feel Tony shiver when your nails scratch the base of his skull, then lightly pull the hair.

You swallow the groan that fights its way out of his throat and into your waiting mouth. You part, and you both pant for breath, heated and mingling in the space between your bodies.

“Tony, I love you,” you say into his lips. A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

“Love you, too, Poppyfield.”

“Don't compare me with Stark! It's a thing with me. Stark is - he's a sickness!” The loud metallic voice of Ultron echoes.

Tony, Cap, you and Thor touch down across from Ultron and his companions. You are on the back of the Iron Man suit, and Thor is holding onto Cap.

Tony straightens after your feet touch the ground, “Ahh, Junior. You're gonna break your old man's heart.”

Ultron shrugs and takes a small step closer, “If I have to.”

“We don't have to break anything,” Thor's voice booms.

Ultron all but glares at Thor, “Clearly you've never made an omelet.”

“He beat me by one second.”

“Tony,” you scold.

You turn your gaze onto the twins. You learned a little about them on the quinjet ride over. They were young and fighting for something they believed in.

They reminded you of Leon and you, young and trying to take on the world. Only for it to never work out for you. Because your brother doesn't want anything to do with you now.

Ultron takes a step toward your group, his red eyes stare you down, and you try not to fidget under his gaze.

“You brought her here?” He hisses toward Tony. “What were you thinking?” His eyes shift back to you. He says your name, soft in his metallic voice, “it's not safe. You should go back while you still can.”

The hair along your arms and the back of your neck stand on end. His glowing red eyes bore into yours, the feeling like he can see through you, but sees everything you are at the same time. It sends a shiver down your spine.

You share a concerned look with the bright eyes of the Iron Man suit, and Tony shakes his head at you.

The boy, Pietro, you think his name is, steps closer, arms wide as he makes a show of all the weapons around the old ship. “Ah, this is funny, Mr. Stark. It's what, comfortable? Like old times?”

“This was never my life,” you can hear the sadness and regret in Tony's voice.

“You two can still walk away from this,” you plead.

“Oh, we will,” the girl, Wanda, says.

Steve takes a step forward, “I know you've suffered.”

“Captain America,” Ultron sneers, “God's righteous man, pretending you could live without a war. I can't physically throw up in my mouth, but…”

Thor takes a step forward, his hand resting on your shoulder to the right, “If you believe in peace, then let us keep it.”

“I think you're confusing peace with quiet.”

“Yuh-huh. What's the Vibranium for?”

The metallic lilt of Ultron's voice sounds amused. His mannerisms remind you an awful lot of Tony, and it gives you pause.

“I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan–”

Ultron goes to fly, and Tony, he meets him halfway, the two of them trading blows as they fly up and out of the wreckage.

It's never a good idea to split up. You said this as Steve and Thor ran off in different directions. No one bothers to hear your plea.

You were sure you heard someone come down this way, your claws at the ready to take down another body guard.

“Anyone have a visual on the twins?” You ask into your comms. There's no answer as you crouch a little lower in your prowl down another hallway.

“Here we are,” Wanda says, and before you could make a move, she waves her hands in the air. Red mist flows from her fingertips, swirling and mesmerizing as you try and wipe it clean from the air around you.

You can almost feel it as it digs into your eyes and ears under your skin. All you see is red. A snarl leaves your lips as you launch yourself at Wanda.

It's nice today, you think. The sun is warm on your back as you tend to the garden at your feet. Dirt clings to your hands and under your nails, but it's nice. It's peaceful.

There's small giggles around you in the garden. Every now and then, you get a glimpse of shiny charcoal hair above the vegetable plants. The giggling gets closer as you pretend you don't hear anything.

Suddenly, there's a weight in your back, tiny hands find your eyes as the giggles turn into fits of laughter.

“Guess who!” The little voice says in your ear.

You laugh, thinking real hard, “oh! Well, let's see, it can't be daddy. These hands are too small! Is iiiit,” you grab her around the waist and haul her around your body to the ground below, tickling sides as you do.

“Luna! I should have known!” The little girl shrieks in glee as your fingers find the soft spots of her sides, digging your fingers in as you both laugh together. Her odd eyes glisten with laughter and tears. One blue and one golden.

“Mama! No more!” she wheezes, little hands pushing into your face as you peck kisses around her freckled face. “Daddy help!”

You yelp in surprise as large hands find your waist and haul you up and away. As Tony sets you on your feet, his hands find the small bump of your belly.

“What are my two girls doing out here, huh? Causing a whole bunch of racket so the neighbors think something is wrong?”

“Tony, we don't have neighbors,” you chuckle.

Luna, with her dirt covered hands, tugs on Tony's hand, “was playin’! Scared momma good! Luna, good girl!”

Tony pats her charcoal locks, smiling fondly at her, “of course you are, Luna girl. So good.”

Tony spins you to face him, a pleased look on his face and sparkles in his warm honey eyes, “why don't you both clean up, and I'll order us some lunch, yeah?” His lips find your cheek, and you hum in agreement. You grab Luna by the hand as she skips next to you.

You turn toward the house. It's a nice little cottage in the middle of the woods. It was a wedding present from Tony, and it made you so happy.

It's dark outside, no moon in the sky, but the stars are out, and it's warm.

A little too warm, maybe. Your eyes turn to the cottage. There's a fire.

A fire?

Poppy

“Tony? Luna!” You cry into the night air. There's no response. Just the roar of the fire blazing the cottage to the ground. The hair on the back of your neck stands on end.

The feeling is too familiar, and you whirl around. The silver catches in the firelight, and you stumble back. No.

Those steel blue eyes cut to you on the ground, and the muzzle is back over the lower half of his face.

“Bucky, it's me. Please,” you bring a hand up to stop his prowl towards you. It doesn't stop him. “Where's my family?” Your hand comes to rest on the small bump, tears burning your eyes.

Poppy.

Silver fingers grip the front of your sundress, hauling you up to eye level. His eyes flash bright amber, and you feel your blood run cold. No, you were joking about the serum. Joking about him being part werewolf.

“Bucky, please,” a tear escapes and runs hot down your cheek.

You can hear him try to sniff at you, a growl in his voice, “you were meant to be mine, lepestok.”

Poppy

“What…?” it's whispered in the space between you. You see his eyes crinkle like he's smiling behind the mask.

Poppy!

Your cheek stings. There's a red fog clearing from your vision as you blink rapidly. You're breathing heavily as your surroundings come into view.

“Buck-” your voice is hoarse and throat dry. “where?”

“You're on the quinjet, honey. Hey, eyes here, you're ok.”

Tony. Oh.

“What the fuck just happened? Where,” your hand ghosts over the nonexistent bump of your stomach, and it hurts. It's a horrible ache you never thought you'd experience. “I was-” you choke back a sob as you look into Tony's concerned brown eyes.

He scoops you into his arms, running a hand over the back of your head as he shushes you.

The hum of the quinjet softens as you feel it land. Tony lets you go, and you sit hunched over in the chair. He moves to the front of the jet, conversing quietly with Clint.

Steve sits across from you. He looks better than the others. with their far-off looks in their eyes, it sends a shiver down your spine.

“Steve?” His eyes snap to you, jaw clenched so tight you think his teeth might crack. “Are you ok?” His eyes scan you from head to toe, lingering on your center where your hand is still clutched tight over your stomach.

He nods once, eyes snapping back up to yours. There's a question in his gaze, and you have to tear yours away. Because you might start crying.

For having something you've always wanted, right there at your fingertips, and it all went away in a haze of red mist.

The back of the quinjet door opens, and you spring to your feet, fleeing the confines of the small space and out into open air.

You can still hear the echoes of her laughter in your mind. The feel of the baby bump on your tummy. The daughter you'll never have.

It's heartbreaking and soul crushing. Because you can never have children.

***

#tony stark x reader #mcu fanfiction #shifter!reader #tony stark x shifter!reader #tony stark imagine #mcu imagine

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missvelvetsstuff · 2 years ago

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Guarded Heart

Bucky Barnes x Reader

MobAu

Summary: Y/N is the daughter of a powerful mob boss who only cares about her horses and making it to the Olympics but her father expects her to marry an equally powerful boss to help strengthen his business. Bucky is looking for a wife to help his business and give him an heir, something his long term girlfriend, Natasha can't do.

Warnings: swearing and angst. A smidge of violence

Last chapter,

"Goddammit Steve, she's gone! Y/N left with Pietro and Wanda." Then his phone dinged, a text with blueprints for her house including everything she had mentioned. Bucky showed his phone to Steve.

Chapter 20

Steve looked at Bucky, eyes wide "Fuck", then startled at a sound from behind him. Furrowing his brow he retreated into his room to grab his phone, whispering "Loki?"

He heard an annoyed breath "Obviously. Do tell me you're on your way."

Confused Steve replied "On my way?"

Loki huffed "Yes, Steven on your way. Have you suffered a stroke since last we spoke?"

Steve shook his head forgetting that Loki couldn't see him "No, but I am pretty confused right about now."

Loki scoffed "She didn't tell you? She told me you were all on board and she was sending the blueprints to you. Did one of you oafs get a message with the blueprints?"

Steve looked at Bucky "Uh, yeah, Buck has em."

"Well that's something I suppose. I'm almost at her house and would appreciate if you could rally Barnes and back us up before Zemo arrives. She told me 2-3 hours when I spoke to her 15 minutes ago. Best to err on the side of caution and have everyone in place within an hour. Can you manage, love?"

Steve started pulling on a black pair of jeans "Yeah, we'll be there. Be careful."

Loki chuckled "Don't get sentimental on me now, Rogers. See you soon."

Bucky was looking at Steve expectantly "So? What'd your boyfriend have to say?"

Steve glared "He's not my-. Nevermind that. He's on his way to Y/N's house. She told him we were down with this insanity and would meet them there."

Bucky shook his head "What the fuck is she playing at? Fuck!" He ran his hand through his hair "Get dressed. Stealth is probably best. Well armed" He looked over his shoulder "You too, Sam. Out the door in 15. Message everyone, including Fury."

Bucky woke his father and they dressed, armed up and piled into the SUV, pulling out 17 minutes later, with 2 more cars following them. Bucky and Steve sat in the back seat looking over the plans, arguing softly and trying to find a way to get in.

"Look, there's a tunnel we can access in the guest house that goes into the sunroom, which is just off of the living room where I'm assuming she would be. We need to get ourselves set up in these passages" Steve pointed on the blueprint "Where we can listen in and get to her quickly. She has Pietro so isn't completely defenseless."

Bucky scoffed "Yeah, he was shot a couple of days ago and left the hospital early, against doctors advice. Not sure he will be much use.

Call Loki and find out where they are and if we should start there or if there's another place."

Steve called Loki "Hey babe, we're almost there but where exactly do you want us to start?"

He listened and nodded for a couple of minutes. "Right. We'll see you soon." He put his phone in his pocket "Staging at the guest house then we move in to the various hiding places. Jesus, Y/N's father was more than prepared, this house is crazy. Secret passages, multiple weapons caches and booby traps that can be activated with an app. An app that also accesses security cameras all over the house and tracks movements. I'm downloading it and sending the link to you."

Bucky nodded "We need a place to park where Zemo won't see a bunch of cars and get suspicious. This only works if he buys her story and we don't want to fuck it up for her."

For the rest of the ride there, they were all quiet, each preparing themselves for battle but hoping it wouldn't get that far.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting in her fathers office, Y/N tried to calm her racing heart. Contrary to popular belief she didn't have a death wish, she was simply fed up with her lack of control in her own life. Dreykov, Natasha, Zemo, her father, fucking Bucky.

Her left shoulder was aching and carried a slight odor, like death rotting her flesh away. She was pretty sure she was running a fever as well, likely had an infection. She knew the dressing needed to be changed, she needed to get some sleep and take it easy for awhile but this had to be done. She couldn't rest while Zemo was still out there plotting against her. As she mumbled to herself, she didn't realize how unhinged she was becoming.

Y/N was at the point where she didn't really care anymore if she survived this mess as long as Zemo didn't. Dying would be better than living the rest of her life looking over her shoulder.

She needed pain meds but wasn't willing to chance them taking away her edge. Her mind didn't consider that concern when she lit up a joint in an effort to relax.

The doorbell rang and she jumped out of her seat. She took one last long drag off the joint and exhaled slowly, trying to blow out the anxiety she was feeling. After a couple more calming breaths she stood slowly and headed for the front door. As she walked she fidgeted with her dress, it was one Zemo had always liked as he tried to mold her into some depraved 50's housewife role. It didn't fit quite right due to her missing limb but Wanda did the best she could. Silk stockings were attached to her corset and pink pumps that matched her dress perfectly waited on the floor.

Her hair was styled with a ribbon that matched the trim on her dress. She quickly stepped into her shoes, wobbling the first few steps before gaining her balance.

Y/N didn't realize she had started off walking at a reasonable rate that was slowing as she moved closer to the door. She smoothed her skirt and checked to make sure her weapons were secure and out of sight.

Pietro stood by the fireplace giving her an encouraging nod. Wanda had been sent to the panic room to keep her safe. She was practically a mind reader when dealing with people but not much of a fighter.

The doorbell rang again making Y/N speed up until she was there. She silently said a short prayer and then made sure it was Zemo and one of his men, someone she didn't recognize, before she opened the door.

"Helmut, you look very handsome" she stuttered nervously and moved aside "Please, come in. I have your favorite scotch if you'd like a drink." She didn't mean for that to come out as a question but sounding nervous played into her game. "I made some of your favorite rolls, the ones with cheese and garlic. Come sit in the living room."

Zemo eyed her suspiciously, she had fought him too hard through their entire relationship, to just cave like this. "Thank you my dear. You look quite lovely, is this all for me?"

She tittered nervously "Of course. I contacted you to end this war but have realized that you're the one that I want to marry. It's always been you, I just needed to grow up about some parts of the business. They may be distasteful to me but it's all part of the game.

I don't want to be a boss and carry the weight of peoples lives. I want a simple life, taking care of the man that I love. I would be happy to let you handle business. All I need is you and my horses, not even competing just for pleasure."

Zemo looked her over, she really was delicious but this didn't sound right. "Are you sure my love? This is a huge turnaround for you."

"I know Helmut but the last few years, hell the last few weeks have taught me a lot and on top of the list is that I don't want this pressure, this responsibility."

He moved closer grabbing her hand and pulling her flush against him. His voice lowered "I could give you that life and anything else you want but I have to know I can trust you. Submit to me. Right now, on your knees and prove your devotion. Show me the whore you will be for me and me alone."

She followed his orders, smiling seductively when all she wanted was to kill him. She opened his pants and pulled them down to reveal his partially hard cock. Before she could wrap her mouth around him he stopped her and put himself away.

He smiled wickedly at her as he pulled her to her feet "Wait my love. I have something better. I know your friends are here but I'm not sure where. You'll help me find and kill every one of them. Then I will know you are sincere."

Y/N kept the seductive mask on her face afraid to look in his eyes, hoping he took it as submission. "Of course, Helmut. I'm not great at killing but I'll do what it takes."

Zemo chuckled "I saw the security footage of your confrontation with Natasha. You took her and Clint out, two shots and after your shoulder was hit. I'm sure Clint regretted training you so well, at least for a second, before he died."

She fiddled with her hands "I was angry, they took almost everything away from me. Bucky is an idiot but he-"

Zemo looked at her sadly "He refused to listen when you warned him about her. Refusing to consider your evidence. He even refused to listen to his own brother." He sighed "It's alright my dear, it will take much longer to repair our bond and ensure my trust in you but I'm happy to kill them."

"I'm so sorry, sir. I know I'm weak, that's why I need your strength. At the head of my family your power will be beyond your imagination." She kneeled in front of him, "Please, sir."

Zemo felt himself getting turned on, he had never been able to get her to submit to him like this before, she was too headstrong. He knew he should wait until Barnes and Loki were taken care of before taking his spoils but his cock was straining against his pants at the sight of her kneeling and submitting to him. He wanted Barnes to see her like this on her knees, make up ruined and face fucked out.

He cleared his throat.

She got his message and pulled him back out, straining to look anything besides disgusted as she worked him just how he loved.

Bucky and Steve were behind a bookcase in a passage off the living room. Bucky felt sick listening to her trying to convince Zemo that she wanted him. Words that he wanted to hear her say to him but for that dirtbag. Bucky wanted to shove the bookcase aside and kill him. He tried to ignore the meaning of silence coming from that room. Well, not quite silence he could hear her slurping and Zemos groans and words of praise.

Steve gave him a dirty look and pointed at his watch to give Bucky the message that they had to wait.

Zemo shouted when he finished in her mouth, touching her cheek gently until he grabbed her hair and pulled until she yelped. "Do you believe I'm stupid my love? That I wouldn't realize you set me up." He spat in her face then shrugged "Maybe if Barnes wasn't a mouth breather I wouldn't have been able to hear him" he pulled her up to her feet by her hair causing Y/N to shout in pain "Come on out Barnes before I kill your lady love. I know you're behind the bookcase." He shook his head.

"I'm disappointed, you all seem to have a very poor opinion of me. As though I would walk in to such an obvious trap unaware." He slapped Y/N's face with his free hand "Now face me Barnes before I pull my gun out."

Bucky looked at Steve in a panic, who shrugged and pushed him ahead. Bucky stumbled into the bookcase, making it turn and almost fell before straightening himself out. Steve walked behind him, smirking.

Y/N gasped "Helmut, you must believe me I didn't conspire with Barnes or any in his family. He has betrayed me too many times to trust him with my life."

Zemo shook his head "You think I can't see how he looks at you? You knew he would try to save you just as well as I did. Lucky me, I get to kill you both and take over your families."

"Please, Helmut, sir. I'll be a good wife for you, like you wanted."

Bucky started to object when Zemo reached up Y/N's skirt and pulled a knife out. "If you are sincere why are you armed? I doubt this is the only weapon you have hidden."

He brought the knife up against her throat "This is much better. I can hear your heart racing my sweet. Don't worry, I'm going to kill you last. Maybe take a bit more pleasure from you before I do. Unless you find a way to convince me to keep you."

He looked at Bucky as he stiffened and smirked "Barnes, put down your weapons and instruct your men to do the same or I'll kill her in front of you." He put a little pressure on the knife at her throat, creating a thin line of blood.

Feeling the trickle of blood on her neck brought Y/N out of her haze and made her realize she did want to live. She hoped it wasn't too late for her self preservation to be kicking in.

Bucky looked over at Steve in a panic to see that Steve and Sam were both putting their guns down so he did the same while his mind raced to find a way out.

Before any of them had the chance to come up with anything, a gunshot rang out and Y/N crumpled to the floor.

Chapter 21

@bigphattygyal @cjand10 @lokiandbuckysdoll

@kimomoraba @avery199 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @esposadomd

@sebsgirl71479 @calwitch @hhiggs

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #angst with a happy ending #mob!au #arranged marriage #guarded heart

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chaotic-on-main · 2 years ago

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Speak Now | ModernAU One-Shot

☾ Based on ➼ Speak Now by Taylor Swift

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!OC

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, angst, arranged marriage, expletives

☾ Author's note ➼ I heard this song come on while I was driving to work today and I had the biggest inspiration to write this little one-shot. I refused to do anything else. But worry not, I'm currently working on my January chapter for Unspoken Words. I hope y'all enjoy my cheesy thoughts! Also don't @ me I love Taylor Swift and you'll have to pry the entire album of Speak Now from my cold, dead hands for me to stop listening to it. (Also this is written in second person but for my sanity I named the character instead of using y/n because typing that drives me insane)

☾ Word Count ➼ ~2.2k

☾ Inspired by ➼

“Faye, this is a bad idea.” Your best friend, Hange, says from the driver's side.

“Pft, you’re the queen of bad ideas, I don’t wanna hear it.” You retort back.

You’re sitting in the passenger seat of Hange’s car which is parked across the street from a very ostentatious chapel. You eyeball the nauseatingly dressed invitees through binoculars as they make their way through large double doors. Knuckles turn white around the barrels as you consider your plan. Was it too much? Maybe. But you decide you don’t care.

“Well, yeah. But at least my ideas wield good results. This is just downright insane.” They shift in their seat to stare at you incredulously. You put down the binoculars to wave your hands at them dismissively. Pulling your hair up in a quick ponytail, you unbuckle yourself from your seat and tut at her.

“Who said this won’t? Just keep your phone out of your pocket, I’ll let you know if I need anything.” They just huff at you, exasperated. But they make no move to stop you, so you open the car door and pull yourself out, carefully shutting it behind you. Nervously you pull at your blouse, inspecting the entrances available to you. You spot a couple side doors that were unmanned so you opt for that route, heading to the one on the left. You duck your head to not be noticed as you shuffle past everyone else, your nose is permeated with repugnant perfumes and colognes. After you take a quick look over your shoulder to make sure no one is looking your way, you twist the doorknob to check if it’s locked.

Click

‘Oh, thank god.’ You think to yourself as you push on the door gently. Taking a quick glance inside as well as behind you one last time, you slip in and close it slowly behind you. You find yourself in a long, empty hallway with a couple of doors hanging off to the right. A long archway at the end opens up to who knows where. Faint chattering reverberates off the walls as it makes its way down to you. You sigh quietly and start stalking your way down but freeze when you hear loud shrieking coming from one the doors in front of you. It’s slightly ajar so you sneak a peek inside the crack to see a bride, his bride, wearing the most unpleasant gown that reminded you of a pastry. She’s roaring at a bridesmaid who was almost in tears. You see an older woman, her mom you think, is dressed in pastels to match the details of her wedding dress. The mom slaps a tiara out of the bridesmaid’s hand and the poor girl flinches back in surprise.

“I thought I told you to bring me my bouquet! Where is it!?”

“I-I’m sorry, I was told to bring you your t-tiara first. I’ll g-go get it n-now.” She stands up straight and starts heading to the door and your eyes widen as you whip against the wall, lying as flat and still as possible. The door flings open and the bridesmaid rushes down the hallway in front of you, not even noticing you. Releasing a breath you held the whole time, you sneak past the door while the bride and her mom are looking away, focused on putting on her sparkling head piece.

You wouldn’t have to do such a thing if she had not uninvited you in the first place. She had thought you a threat at the very beginning of her ‘relationship’ with him, which thinking back on it and your actions now, is understandable. But she was unbearable, and you thought ‘to hell with family legacies’ because seeing Levi with someone else that couldn’t care less about what kind of floor cleaner was the best brand hurt you more than you could stand. He’s your best friend, she did not deserve any part of him.

Creeping your way through the rest of the hallway, you pause every once in a while to take note of your surroundings. Every door slam and spoken word makes you freeze. Eventually, you get to the last door in the hallway; it sits partially open, and you glance in. You see him standing in front of a mirror, fixing his signature cravat to his neck with a cold expression across his face. Biting your lip, you slide in the door and shut it behind you carefully. Levi falters at the reflection of your sudden appearance but doesn’t turn around, instead he stares at you with dark, gray eyes and pursed lips.

“Tch. You shouldn’t be here.” he says dryly.

“Neither should you. I can’t believe you’re going along with this.” You fold your arms across your chest and stare hard at him. He just sighs, aggravated at this conversation yet again. But his voice is soft.

“Faye, listen. I don’t have a choice. It’s only business, our families ne-”

“Cut the shit, Levi. You have a choice, you always have a choice. I don’t care about their business, or even their happiness! I only care about yours. And you are not happy.” you cut him off, tone cold.

“You don’t know what I am.” His deep timbre turns sharp. He finally turns on you, his eyes flash to yours and you hesitate for a moment before straightening your back to stand your ground.

“We’ve been best friends since we were children, I know exactly what you are.” He narrows his eyes at you, a scowl framing his face with down-turned eyebrows. He takes a couple steps towards you in a challenge, but you refuse to budge.

“Oh yeah? Enlighten me then. What am I?”

“You’re a dick for starters. A complete asshole. You act all tough and mighty but you’re as soft as a marshmallow in there. And you’re loyal, which seems more like a curse than a blessing nowadays. You take orders from those above you even though you hate them. And boy do you hate them.” You take a deep breath and he’s just staring at you with icy eyes.

“Is that right?” He moves closer to you now, but you plant your feet and stare down at him, unwavering. He’s so close that you can feel his body heat radiating through his black suit.

“Yes, and you’re so stubborn. You refuse to let go of anything. You’re annoying and yes, you are such a brat sometimes! And you’re cold, you act like nothing bothers you, but I know it does. Because you’re my best friend. I know what you are. And you’re not happy.” You trail off, his eyes boring into yours as you take a shuddering breath.

“Are you done.” he snaps, his phrase more of a threat than a question. You nod your head and bite the inside of your cheek. As fast as lightning, he raises a hand at you as if to slap your cheek and you flinch back. But instead, he grabs you by your blouse collar and pulls your face down to his faster than you can acknowledge what’s even happening and suddenly his lips are on yours. They’re soft and warm and you find yourself melting into him. But as soon as it happened, it ended just as quickly.

“Why can’t you just choose what you want? Just be selfish for once.” You whisper down to him after a moment of silence. He lets go of your collar and turns on his heel to the door. He tears it open and then he’s gone without another word. You feel a wetness on your cheeks, and you go up to wipe it away with the back of your hand. When did you start crying?

Taking deep breaths, you attempt to console yourself. Was this anger or sadness? You couldn’t tell. You feel a vibration in your pocket, and you pull out your phone to see a message from Hange.

Everything okay?

No, everything was not okay. Everything hurt.

Levi was great at many things, hiding his emotions being one of them. But whenever you were around him, his eyes would never lie. And you knew you saw something in them that just screamed for help. And you were not about to back down, not now and not ever again. Levi was not a pawn in someone else’s game, and you were going to free him whatever it took. After sending Hange an ‘okay for now’, you wipe your tears away again and bolt out the door to the sounds of an organ playing a death march.

“First off, let me say thanks to everyone who has taken a moment out of their day to celebrate the unity between the Reiss and Ackerman families. We are here for the sake of ongoing prosperity and strength for generations to come. This contract is not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and seriously, with a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities. As well, we hope for not only success for both the future Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman, but also happiness and love. With that, if there are any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace.” The officiant looks around the room with beady eyes.

The silence is deafening, and it feels like everything is going in slow motion but too quickly at the same time. Standing up from your hiding spot in the back, you raise your trembling hand and clear your throat. Suddenly everyone in the room is staring back at you with horrified looks, including Levi and his bride-to-be. You used to say that you could never surprise Levi, because all of your attempts at jumping out of corners and one-upping him with gifts were futile. But the shock on Levi’s face now was palpable, and deep inside you thought it was delicious.

“Me, I object!” You pinch your lips together in a thin line, fighting the urge to curl up in a ball in embarrassment. You stare straight ahead at Levi as you make your way to the middle of the petal-filled aisle. Straightening your back, you embrace your resolve.

“I’m sorry, who may you be?” The officiant inquires, his voice sputtering.

“I am Faye Dresden, and I’m in love with you, Levi Ackerman.” You see him recoil a little bit, stunned at your boldness.

“You’re not supposed to be here! Someone throw her out!” The soon-to-be bride shrieks to anyone who will help. But you take a step forward, lick your dry lips, and yell out.

“Levi, I love you! I loved you when we were six, I love you now, and fuck! I’m going to fucking love you when we’re sixty!” A couple of burly bodyguards start making their way to you and you start to panic but you yell out anyways. “Stop being so selfless and do what you want! No one forces you to do anything, only you get to choose! Please!” A big hand grips your elbow and starts dragging you away, but you fight it anyways. His face is pained and takes a step forward towards you, but then he stops abruptly. You can tell he’s still stuck between his duties and his wishes, and it breaks your heart. You can’t help but howl in frustration as you’re pulled away through the doors.

“BE SELFISH!”

As they throw you out of the front doors, you trip over your own feet and fall flat on your ass into the gravel. You flip them off as they shut the doors behind them, hearing the click of a lock.

“ASSHOLES!” You scream. You hear the crunch of footsteps on rock, and you turn to see Hange walking up behind you, somber concern etched across their face. You stand up quickly and brush off the debris, making sure to wipe your eyes once more before facing your friend.

“Let’s go home, Faye.” They murmur to you, holding out their hand to you. Blinking back more hot tears, you take the hand and start walking back to the car with them.

“I tried, Hange. I really did.” You whimper to them as you plop yourself into the seat. Your heart aches, reeling from your failure. Hurting from his pain. They just squeeze your hand before taking it to turn the keys in the ignition. You lean back in the chair and close your eyes while you let your tears fall, streaking down your face and onto your shirt.

Not even 15 seconds after Hange started driving, she hits the brakes with a jolt, and you’re being choked by your seatbelt.

“Hange?!” You blink your eyes and look at them, but they’re just staring wide-eyed through the front windshield. Following their gaze, you see a very disheveled Levi. He’s stripped of his black blazer now, white shirt and black slacks waving slightly in the wind. He’s out of breath with a determined look in his eyes. You see him mouth your name. You quickly unbuckle your seatbelt and stumble out of the car.

“What the fuck, Levi! We could have hit you!” He ignores your outburst and stomps up to you, his short stature almost comical.

“I don’t care, I’m being selfish.” He growls at you and then pulls you back down to him, his lips smashing into yours again.

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