#i say 'the cousins' as if this is all of them but nah there's like ten others

[gothamite-rambler]

Kite-Man, the main villain he was working with, and that guy's cousin all spoke over each other, their voices rising in an annoying cacophony as the usually stoic Batman slowly started to lose his composure.

Batman (voice booming): SHUT UP!

The three men fell silent, fear evident in their eyes, while Spoiler strolled back over, unfazed.

Spoiler (cheerfully): The building is cleared, and I found this cool back scratcher!

She held up a back scratcher designed to look like a skeleton arm—don’t worry, it wasn’t a real one.

Drug Dealer (shouting): That's mine!

Spoiler (casually walking past the three men and scratching her back with her new tool): Mine now.

Kite-Man (tilting his head, confused): Spoiler?

Spoiler (squinting her eyes as if trying to place him): Yes… Kite-Man? Hey dude, good to see you again! How long has it been?

Kite-Man (nodding): Three weeks.

Batman (interrupting, bewildered): What? Wait, you know him?

Kite-Man (grinning): Spoiler and I go way back. She let—well, I mean, I’ve gotten away when fighting her.

Kite-Man winked, causing Spoiler to chuckle, relieved he didn't disclose that she had let him escape. She hadn’t taken him seriously, after all.

Spoiler (grinning): Yeah, he's good people.

Batman (frustrated): No, he’s not! He’s a vill—he's a goon! I don’t respect him enough to call him a villain.

Kite-Man and Spoiler (in unison, indignant): Rude!

Spoiler (playfully): KM, I heard you and your last girl didn’t work out?

Kite-Man (sighing): Yeah, nah. She left me for her tattoo artist, which hurt way more. So I'm a bachelor, but there's this girl—

Batman (cutting in, exasperated): I hate to interrupt your conversation, but I have to talk to the three stooges about the warehouse they were using to cook crystal meth!

Kite-Man: …Am I Moe?

Batman groaned, covering his eyes in frustration.

Spoiler (smirking): You're Kramer from Seinfeld.

Kite-Man (beaming): That is so sweet of you to say! Batman, keep her around; she's got good energy.

Batman growled, walking past the three men and shoving the drug dealer to the ground, his irritation palpable.

Batman (sternly): The cops have arrived and I can't be around any of you. I'll talk to them. Spoiler, don’t let him escape this time!

Spoiler (confidently): I gotcha, Batman!

Batman strode off while Spoiler remained with the three stooges.

Spoiler (playfully): Crystal meth, huh? Bit old school.

Kite-Man (nodding, earnest): It’s supposed to be a stronger strain.

Drug Dealer (frustrated): Can you stop talking to her?!

Kite-Man: Nah, she’s cool. Hey Spoiler, do you think you can let me 'escape' by 'accident' this time?

Spoiler (tossing the back scratcher in the air and catching it expertly): Sorry, man. You're going to prison this time around. Sorry to you—not the douche canoes next to you; I don't know them.

Kite-Man (chuckling): Probably for the best; they're awful.

Spoiler laughed, nodding in agreement, while the two men next to them looked utterly insulted but too shocked to respond.

Spoiler: You usually cause me headaches, but I enjoy your energy. Very demure, very mindful.

Kite-Man (puffing his chest in pride): I’m demure? Hell yeah!

Batman (from a distance, voice booming): STOP BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER!