#i saw the video its just some guy going 'people who order gf in a restaurant are liars'

[cables-and-wires]

chat can we kill this guy

[bugsinshoes]

ok so i just watched @fordtato and @hkthatgffan 's respective videos about their interview with THE alex hirsch and i wanna just say OH MY GOD like SERIOUSLY

im gonna put my thoughts under the cut so theres no spoilers if you havent seen it already (BUT GO WATCH THEM NOW PLEASE !!!) + its gonna be LONG so BEAR WITH ME

ok, so i have MANY thoughts so sorry if none of this is coherent 😭 (this is not in chronological order of when the questions were asked, just me spewing out my totally normal thoughts about this interview so apologies for that)

starting off:

THE BABY IS SHERMIE?!?!?!? IM SO SO GLAD WE FINALLY HAVE CONFIRMATION WE CAN FINALLY LEAVE THIS TO REST !! I WAS RIGHT THOUGH SO HA !!! ACTUALLY SCREAMING !! TIMELINE BE DAMNED (also another thanks to hana, your timeline video is genuinely awesome. i never shut up about it. ever. any time i talk to my friends abt gf and i need to refer to the timeline i go: "IN HANA'S VIDEO-") anyways, i do understand it was a last minute decision on the writer's part of "oh. dipper and mabel need a grandfather, its not ford, and its sure as FUCK not gonna be stan sooo... third brother?" and i do understand alex being like, "oh, this is about ford and stan only having eachother" so i think making shermie younger was a GOOD THING? like, stan and ford had 18 years of just them so shermie wasnt in the picture, so stan and ford technically grew up on their own so ig it works? also, when stan got kicked out, he never got to see shermie grow up, probably only saw him at events when he had to pretend to be ford (post-1983) and as for ford himself, he was too busy in college and gravity falls to really visit the family so... it works! (despite everything)

that aside, lets talk about THE CRUMBS??? like i have some quotes here because i have a LOT to say:

"theyre both so damaged and they desperately need each other" - alex hirsch (talking about stan and ford)

LIKE SUIUHUSHUSH i HATE these brothers SO MUCH (LIES) i cant actually properly express my thoughts because WOW like its clear that they both have their own trauma and they NEED to address it but theyre both too STUBBORN to do so. theyve both been alone for 40ish years so of course they need each other. they grew up by the hip, so theres no surprise that they both need each other (whether they like it or not)

"[ford's] grateful for the forgiveness he thinks he doesnt deserve" -alex hirsch

ford thinks so lowly of himself at times it HURTS. like the lines in the journal about "only then would the freak return a hero" or about his guilt with bill and everything its just so important to his character im so glad we got so much ford content in this interview. like i am EATING ALL THIS UP RN

"[ford] has to always have a mission in front of him, because if he doesnt have a mission in front of him, hes thinking how have i treated people in my life?" - alex hirsch

ford distracting himself with things instead of facing his problems. probably something he had to do a lot, especially with his time in the multiverse. but it really hurts because i can imagine in the 60s, they never had any great coping mechanisms? so i can assume ford was just conditioned to distract himself from stuff so he never learned how to deal with things. and i KNOW in the journal hes like "i meditate!" and im sure that does help somewhat, but it doesnt address the issue itself soooo... sorry ford, but you cant just breathe your way out of everything

ALSO alex calling ford and fiddlefords falling out a "BREAKUP" (air quotes used) BUT A BREAKUP??? this is just adding fuel to my fiddauthor-infested brain rn. i CANT

and alex saying mcgucket is thinking like, "oh i gotta be a better partner" is HEART SHATTERING like the whole talk about fiddleford being "the building guy" who is kind of just there to make machines and please ford. its honestly so heartbreaking because fiddleford loves ford so much he'd leave his wife and child to go to absolute nowhere, oregon and the fact ford is too arrogant to see fiddlefords admiration and overall love for him its just IUIUAHHAS

and i do wanna say, i KNOW bill played a big part in this, by stroking fords ego and buttering him up with his kind words because he knew exactly what ford wanted to hear and that really affected how ford and fidds' relationship was like but THATS A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER TIME. all i know is that ford isnt entirely to blame, but he still is a massive arrogant asshole and he wasnt the best person to fidds at times (love him tho <3)

but im actually so happy because this interview sheds SO much light onto FORD bcs we BARELY got to know him, and hearing it from MR HIRSCH HIMSELF is just so good because we KNOW its a reliable source because its coming from ALEX YK??? like he wrote ford so he probably knows "oh yeah, that man is guilt-ridden as FUCK" and im so glad we get some crumbs of this guy i cant get enough of him !!! (impatiently waiting for the book of bill)

ANNNDD THE TALK ABOUT MAYBE GETTING A SEA GRUNKS SPINOFF/MINISERIES??? I WOULD EXPLODE GENUINELY ANYTHING WITH MY FAVOURITE OLD MEN PLEASE !! i would genuinely love to see more of their dynamic and how everything is after weirdmaggeddon and like dealing with trauma and UGHHH i would kill for stan/ford content PLEASE

also...

hippie ford.

hippie. ford.

i am never getting over this (im internally SCREECHING)

ANYWAYS THAT WAS MY RANT ABT MY FAV THINGS FROM THE INTERVIEW THAT WAS A LOT GODDAMN

im genuinely so happy with all the questions that got answered, as well as getting some deeper insight into characters and stuff. IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE AMOUNT OF FIDDAUTHOR CRUMBS YOU GUYS

im gonna end this by saying another MASSIVE thank you to hana and hk !! you both put so much effort into your respective videos and it was super super cool !! this was totally worth the wait !!! :D

[httpiastri]

also omg spill the tea on meeting the drivers in spa!!! (only if you want to ofc, ignore this if you don’t 🙏)

aaaaaa okay its time!!!!!! dont grill me if my opinions don't match someone else's, i tried to be as kind as i can 🙏 gonna divide this into categories bcs i met some ppl who are not currently on the f2/f3 grids aaaaa but yeah here we go 🤭

(i saw and was close to pretty much all drivers, but im only including the ones that stood out to me in certain ways here 😊 in order of their racing numbers !!)

f3 !!!

dino beganovic - okayyy soooo. this and paul's will go kinda in the same direction… like i was not surprised to see him act not like super happily lol. i understand! when around fans or just people he doesn't know too well, he was not very excited. but when he was talking to jamie (ollie's... idk what he is? manager ish?), he was that cute happy self he can be! but most of the time, it was the dino we get to see in most prema videos from this year (like the "how well do you know your teammates" one) where he's just…. idk :/ dont blame him tho, im sure he's a great guy once you get to know him!!

gabriele mini - honestly i feel like i barely saw him, except when he and his gf were leaving 😭 welp. but he seemed happy to carry around his trophy!!

arvid lindblad - saw him already on thursday and was shocked both because i couldn't believe my eyes (it's him!! he actually exists!!!!!) and bcs he was much shorter than i had anticipated 😭 sorry arvid

sami meguetounif - i didn't see him around a lot but i saw him on the friday helping his team pack up the tent (carrying big things and such), while all other drivers seemed to not really care (from what i could see)(not just trident, but all teams). respect !!!!!!

tim tramnitz - i knew he was tall but he looked even taller irl!!!! i was so shocked, i felt so tiny

ollie goethe - seemed really happy and lowkey surprised when fans wanted to take pics with him 🥺 had a terrible haircut tho lmao i felt so bad for him... but he seemed so sweet all weekend!!! rlly wish i had talked to him aaaaaa

sebastian montoya - saw him around a lot talking to all kinds of drivers, seems very social butterfly-y :) he seemed very happy after the feature, and he seemed to definitely bring up pepe's mood too because they were talking and joking around for a long time 🥺 his sister (paulina) is also even more gorgeous irl omfg i didn't even think that would be possible…. like we always talk about how amazing she looks in pics but she was so so gorgeous irl (sadly didn't get to see her interact with nikita but 💔 i'll live ig)

luke browning - saw him tons and !! why is he so handsome ?!?!?!! genuinely fell in love all over again. what even. like i keep constantly thinking back to the eye contact we shared and im just. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 seemed sweet with fans too, not super energetic but agreed to pics and such. wish i had shown him my browning bracelet or asked him to sign my sm shirt but i was too shy 💔

christian mansell - saw him get really happy when fans recognized and talked to him, i wanted to show him my mewsell bracelet but didn't have the courage 💔 but sweet and happy as usual!! no surprises there

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f2 !!!

victor martins - actually dont think i saw him all weekend 😭 idk how i managed that

zak o'sullivan - i saw him a few times, he seemed like a bit down ?? very understandable considering how he had glandular fever ?!?!?!?!!! poor boy :( but god did he look good despite it lmao

ollie bearman - very tall and definitely very popular, always ppl waiting to take pics with him lol! didnt speak to him and wasnt very close to him either but he seemed smiley and happy :) tbh i think i saw jamie more than i saw ollie himself ?? lmao

kimi antonelli - tiny!! and the hair is so so curly!!!! he was actually cuter irl, dont understand how he can do that but yeah. also very popular, and was very happy and kind when fans wanted pics hehe

zane maloney - think this guy had like a magnet attached to me or something because i saw him everywhere all the time 😭 like even when there were no other f2 drivers left, he was there… seemed sweet, his freckles are really cute irl too :)

jak crawford - so so tall!!! and the hair looked even better irl oh my god

juan manuel correa - was a second away from asking him for an autograph but he started talking on the phone at that exact moment 😶 seemed so sweet tho!

gabriel bortoleto - aka bortolotti as the commentators said 😐 saw him chatting with a bunch of different drivers, very much a social butterfly like sebas (or is it just because he's very liked in the paddock? likely both). wanted to go up to him when he was talking to luke (they stood outside their hospitality for a long time just talking) and ask for autographs on my sm tshirt (and to tell them that i loved their appearances on the pod) but was too nervous shdjdhdj

enzo fittipaldi - he had the cutest interaction ever with his gf, i nearly melted at the sight of them 🥺 and big bro was there supporting him all weekend too which was cute lol

paul aron - the driver i think most ppl are gonna read and ignore all other drivers lol. i only saw him on the friday and… well….. i wasnt surprised because i had not expected him to be the most open and excited etc. 🤷‍♀️ like he did agree to take pics and such! he put on a little smile for the fans! but there was nothing extra, which i understand. i think we all know the kind of expression he puts on and how "neutral" he looks at most times? like, when he's not around a close friend etc then he seems a little cold. to me, i feel like it just makes his smiles much more valuable in some way!! he wasnt very smiley even with karl or ralf, ig maybe he was focused on qualifying, but he didnt give anything extra and i dont blame him for that. still owns my heart !!!! <33 and i think that the difference from dino is that he seemed more focused and more ig neutral than cold like dino. paul didnt seem neither happy nor mad etc, just blank. 😌 (but god did he look SO GOOD, his hair was so light and my heart wanted to jump out of my chest istg. he looked so so good that i was too shy to even look too much at him 😭)

is*ck h*djar - pls i dont wanna say what i actually think but. his mom was so sweet 😭 my dad (who, for context, does hobby photography) held his camera aimed to the campos truck door in case pepe would come out, but she came out instead and like apologized and stuff for being in the way? so cute :((

pepe marti - 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 how do i even begin to describe him? when there aren't enough words in the entire world? the most gentle and sweet person ever actually, he seemed so tired and just done with the weekend when i talked to him but he still made time for me and tried to stay optimistic. sweetest boy ever <33333333 (i actually still cant really believe i met him and talked to him. like my brain still short-circuits a bit when i think about it. he was just truly an angel and i miss him so much <//3 i also cried a ton after that lol but he didn't see it so that's okay)(also his hands look even bigger irl 😁 sorry gtg)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

former drivers/others !!!

fred vesti - like 10 minutes after the gp had finished, i just happened to accidentally run into him? like he was just heading out of the gate i was going into and so i stopped and gasped and just!!!!! and no one around me even looked at him (we were walking around general admission yk, just a big crowd all heading out on the track) which made me really sad but it was so cool to see him irl!!! he was taller than i had expected awww and so pretty

ralf aron - the only sentence that's still swirling around in my head: "is it possible to fall in love at first sight if you're already a fan?"....... because i think i fell in love 🫠🫠 when i tell you he was gorgeous, i mean it on a NEW LEVEL. like im obsessed. i was obsessed before but now im obsessed^2. actually insane. and he has the exact same voice as paul omg i would not be able to tell them apart irl. i love him so much, please help

adrian campos (jr) - sorry for including two team principals but 😭 idk where i get my shyness and social anxiety from because my dad has some kind of talent with people. he talks to everyone and everyone like him ??? anyways so he just randomly went up to the campos team principal and asked about pepe and they had a short but very friendly discussion 😭 and then he even came up to my dad later for new pepe updates lmao so he was a really sweet guy!!!

rene rosin - i didnt speak to him, saw him around a lot tho, but pt 2 of "my dad collecting team principals"…. my dad went to the f3 paddock and came back to tell me that he talked to "some prema dude" about dino's car… the convo went my dad: "is dino's car perfect now?". prema dude: "perfect for what?!". dad: "perfect for winning, of course!". prema dude: "yes, of course!!" and they had laughed and joked around and what not. i thought it was a funny interaction but didnt think more about that. until a while later, my dad pointed at rene and went "there's my friend from before!!" and i just ?!? you asked RENE if dino's car was good????? so yeah thumbs up to rene for being a funny dude 😁

sacha fouquet - sorry for including this but he also looked very good irl 😶 alsoooo like when i was hurrying to the f3 feature (i was running very late and wanted to be there for the start), i had to go under this tunnel to get from the paddock to the grandstands?? like a pretty narrow tunnel, only like 2-3 ppl width... and guess tho were heading to the paddock right when i was rushing away? all of the prema performance/race engineers! lovely timing! because they're all so so cool and made me so so so nervous 😭 (and the way i was just having to pretend like i haven't seen them all in 100 vids and even made gifs of them lmao what)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

gold star to anyone who made it this far ⭐️ sorry for the random yapping lol and for saying everyone looked better irl but it is true!!!! this isnt proofread so i apologize for any mistakes etc, pls feel free to ask if anyone has any questions... <3<3

[angelblumes]

food ment. Helllooooooo ugh would you like me to beat her up perhaps end up like her namesake, og mischa?(jk im not a (cannibal)) time to bust out the therapy voice tho , you will find your people and they will love you. Ok. ok wtf is happening? are we like the same person or something? wellbutrin buddies ❤ my room needs to be clean and moved the whole sha bang but I cant😔 life needs to be lived and such. I hope you arrived safely and happily and that everything is slightly better for you than it was last message and that you didn't get too carsick. my power went out today for like 3 seconds everything turned off everything , it usually takes alot for that to happen for my house just because its old and other reasons that I dont actually know. I've had a jam out session yesterday, it was so relaxing 😌 🙌 danced my little heart out to them guys I told you about. There's something abt the murders in hannibal that just does it for me... the artistry of it all. I love it when we talk outside of the 5 daily things too!!! hey, did you get that 'you're so mature for your age' as a kid or 'you've got an old soul' ? whats ur thoughts on that? I personally cant really imagine saying that to a kid maybe its a generational thing? ok 🙄😁 I like commentary ive been watching reactions? on youtube its a guilty pleasure, also I've been getting into some reality tv. Wife swap is crazy I love it alot and then the dating ones because ofc. whats one of the 1st reality show you remember watching and not hating? Honey Boo Boo and I Am Jaz (I think?) were my top two choices of reality. maybe a rewatch is in order for me. ok daily things um a guitar got brought into my house today i... its very.. it made me weirdly happy I love music and its instruments. thank goodness tbh my med were just a little later than usual, the pharmacy gave me emergency 3 days for they can figure out whats up because this is the second time we are having the same problem 😅 I had the best brownie of my life, it was store bought but like from the bakery fav dessert. I got this "new" shirt on so comfy, its tie dyed splattered different blues with an astronaut and nasa logo in white, its cute but also like 3? sizes too big (its a hand me down) dont worry abt the guy if a next time happens ill be ready for it 💪 it will go down, I personally know the man's family I will ruin his life if it comes down to it (we live in a town idk if it's small)or realistically just sic my family onto him. I found out my cousin has a gf now and is apparently very much happier than she was with her ex man (who made awesome cheesecake btw off topic tho) gay people stay winning, I did not know she was not straight tho so happy little surprise 😁 jeez its a lot of words uh I hope you're doing good and you had a good sleep and other nice stuff happen to you and you had a good trip🌷🤟🤙❤

HELPPP u are an angel. thank u❤️. and right exactly. normalize thinking fictional murders are artistic or something . thinkin abt how i used to think criminal minds murders were interesting but never had the right words so i'd just be like "woah he *kills them weirdly*? cool"😭. BUT YEAH i did get that all the time omfg "ur so mature for ur age!!" like thanks it's because i have issues and problems 💀....hmm i hate reality tv HAHA. this gc i'm in was just talking abt wife swap the other day how crazy !! idk if i've EVER liked reality tv .... i like watching commentary abt it (like uhh cody ko's stuff) but watching it myself... nope😭. daily things lets see!!! i went to the baltimore aquarium:) i was exhausted tho. saw that a tiktoker i like (hello fem will graham cosplayers...) went there a few days before me. how funny! i wish we had met and fallen in love or something. i went to bed at 5pm yesterday and slept til 3am. then went back to sleep from 6am to 10am. i think my new adhd/anxiety meds are the cause. sadly. cuz they work! but by making me too tired to be nervous or start thinking too much🥲. i'm tired 24/7 already and thats not helping LOL! i had this fancy meal ok multiple fancy meals and it was really nice. i got chesapeake chicken (haha like chesapeake ripper am i right?!?) and it had crab but i'm crazy i'm crazy i didn't eat the crab. the texture was soooo bad. anyway at another place i got a burger bc i'm lame i don't eat seafood (besides shrimp. which i am allergic to.) and i ate almost the whole thing and my friends mom said she was proud of me😭❤️. i always feel so guilty after eating a lot and that made me feel good. i've started watching more vampire video game play throughs. what can i say. vampire masquerade: bloodlines did something to my brain where i like vampire games now. it's the same guy which is cool. i dont like finding new youtubers becuz i've never kept up w whose problematic or not... like what if i get really into someone and mention it and someone's like oh yeah he preys on women. wtf. like umm cry? is he a youtuber? is he evil? cuz i was looking for a pathologic gameplay and he had one and i was like hmm... he sounds familiar. he has probably done something ? maybe? mm lastly.... i read this hunger games hannibal crossover WEEKS AGO but it's just still on my mind. i don't particularly love the hunger games but it's only bc i don't really know a lot abt it. i enjoy it but i've only seen the movies and read the first book (until rue died. never picked it up again after that! i cried a lottttt) and there's like an absurd amount of hannibal crossovers. i guess bc hannibal would totally rule in the hunger games. like come on a CANNIBAL? the uh.. capitol? they'd go crazyyyy for that. the fic itself wasn't even that groundbreaking or anything i have a lot of criticism for it tbh but it opened my brain to the concept. i have another one opened in a tab but it's super long so i haven't made much headway. i want one where it's like.... the one where the old winners come back for a game! and then they escape😈. but in the one i read will and hannibal sort of just escape anyway in a normal hunger game. like ok cool but i don't think that's plausible. but then how would it work ? like could will win a game on his own? maybe i should write my own fic. but then i'd have to understand what happens in the hunger games /j. ugh ok i was thinking abt that one scene where idk they do the little hand signal thing and drag katniss away and go to shut the door like right as they shoot that guy in the head. THAT WAS SO CRAZY. or when katniss shoots the lady instead of president snow and then everyone just descends on him💀 i feel like there's a level of nuance and understanding that i just don't have so i say "woah! cool :)" i hope ur doing well too ily❤️❤️💗

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 3x05 recap

Aka the one where all my sons are idiots and all my daughters are precious angels who deserve all the hugs.

Late again, because when am I not? Again, I blame the travelling.

So I’m kinda intrigued by this pair; the bleeding, accented woman and the young guy with an American accent in what seems to be a  super-dingy bathroom? What is going on here??

Patterson has been doing some fancy analysing of the adoption records and yeppp, Jane definitely had a kid. And ugh Patterson is so sweet and gentle about it and has done so much research so she could give Jane ALL the info and Jane is just Not Dealing. But hmmm Patterson tells her there’s no way to test if she’s had a child and lbr that’s not exactly true? A good ObGyn could generally tell just by looking at the cervix. Not a perfect measure, but it’s definitely an option. But anyhow Jane is too busy flipping out anyway, and ugh she mentions the Taylor Shaw thing and already having everything ripped away from her multiple times and man my heart just hurts for her rn. And Weller’s so at a loss for what to do or how to comfort her ugh my poor babies

Lol Reade and Zapata and their little Wizardville rivalry is super cute. And then she’s completely open with him and asks him directly about the State Department Guy thing and wow Reade just harshly shuts her down. I’m glad Patterson interrupts this little moment because it was definitely going nowhere good. But speaking of things that ARE good,  omg I love her pun about the ‘backbone’ of the case and Weller being all killjoy about it haha. That’s right, honey, just ignore him. Your humour is too good for him anyway. And so anyhow the tatt leads to a NYPD evidence log number, though Zapata notes that the code is different to what the NYPD uses now, and Reade gets super snarky at her for it. Geez son, learn some manners! Patterson backs Zapata up tho (yaaassss my girls), showing that the code is like 20 years old. Jeller go to check out the warehouse it points to while Zapata is given paperwork by Reade (wow, petty), though tbh Zapata ends up with the better deal since Jeller have to fight some bad guys and literally put out a fire. Ugh the way Jane yells for him as she tries to fight the fire alone-- it’s only when its the two of them together that they manage to extinguish it. Symbolism, much? Patterson calls right at that moment to warn them to get out, and it’s a little late, but well, it’s the thought that counts haha. Other warehouses have been burned, which means someone is trying super hard to destroy evidence but doesn’t know where it is. Jane, because she’s amazing, finds the box they nee-- and in it is a whole bunch of untested rape kits going back 20 years. I love the conversation the guys have about the low priority assigned to sexual assault testing-- it’s some good commentary from the writers about the state of the real world. 

Meanwhile, Stuart’s phone has been found in the river, and both Patterson and Zapata are very suspicious of the way Reade basically tells her to leave it alone. Looking super suss rn, bro, and I do not like it at allll.

However, I really DO like listening to Jane speak in other languages. So damn cool. And as someone who is currently staying in a foreign country and communicating solely in the local tongue, I have a renewed respect for her fluency lol.  Their Russian suspect conveniently elects to speak English though haha. How handy. He’s a bit of a tough guy but through a sneaky move on Jeller’s part, he gives them the info they need-- how he got paid, which gives them a lead on the people hiring him. Patterson also drops another pun, which is three so far this ep and I’m so proud. She also figures out that the the victim was likely linked to Kazarus, which as far as I’m aware is a fake place though tbh my geography is not super great. But anyhow, that narrows their search to two sexual assault survivors. 

And then aww Patterson pulls Weller aside and tries to support him about the whole surprise-kid thing, and ugh she’s just so sweet and wants to help both him and Jane as best she can. But he’s upset bc he knows he can’t fix this; no one can. I guess it all just takes time, right? Meanwhile Jane’s in the locker room, getting a call from Roman, and dude he really knew the whole time??  And ugh if she was sixteen when she had the baby (to her high school sweetheart aww) then he was probably about 14 at the time, just a kid himself who had suddenly become an uncle, and man I’m so sad for them both?? But lol she gets to the bullpen and covers the phone while practically yelling for them to trace the call. Not super subtle, Jane. And he tells her she initially fought Shepherd on giving the baby away and then she just ran away? I’m confused.  I guess we now understand a bit more about why Remi joined the army though I guess. Not sure how she ever went back to working for Shepherd, though, but maybe she saw the memory wipe as a way out? And Beardy was meant to fill her in on everything including the kid.  Idk. Jane’s now having a small breakdown in the locker room and decides she has to go see Shepherd, but Weller’s right when he says that Shepherd would just mess with her head. Don’t give her the satisfaction, Jane! And oh look, a mention of Bethany, haven’t had one of those in a while. And tbh that’s the way I like it, show, so keep ignoring her existence please haha.

In the lab, Patterson admits defeat about Stuart’s phone-- it’s as dead as he is. (Too soon??) But Zapata didn’t spend all that time at the CIA without gaining a few skills in the realms of deception and deviousness, and so they hatch a plan to bluff and lure out the possible mole. And then a lab tech in a headscarf calls them to see something, and the panning shot of the lab also shows another tech in a turban. Firstly, I approve of some diversity happening here, and secondly, I hope that this casting choice was deliberate so there would be people that looked at those characters and went “the traitor has to be one of them” so that when it’s shown that the traitor is someone else, the people watching have to examine just why it was that they thought either of these two background characters were guilty. (Hint: it’s racism!). Anyhow, the rape kit in question has been tested, and it turns out the rapist is the king of Kazarus. Or, the former king, since he died and his brother has assumed the throne. The only spanner in the works being that the rape resulted in a child, who, as per the Kazarussian monarchy, is the rightful heir to the throne. Which naturally means that Scar’s gotta have him taken out. Now we know who we saw at the start of the ep-- the kid and his mother, who was clearly attacked by the assassins but escaped. Now it’s a race for the team to find them before the Kazarussians do. 

And then who appears but Weitz, who is now a congressman, and conveniently an expert on Kazarus. I love that everyone looks at Hirst and she’s all “Don’t look at me, Darlins” and how is someone using ‘darling’ in plural like that so damn endearing??? The accent is what truly makes it though, obviously. But nope, it was Reade who called him, which is just another in the list of things Reade has done lately that we do not like. Weitz manages to make everyone hate him even more within mere seconds of showing up, and tbh I love to hate him. His antagonism towards Zapata is hilarious.  I like that even Hirst gives him some shit lol. Atta girl. Anyhow Weitz informs them that the ex-king’s brother Cyrus is a Bad Dude and there’s a bunch of american soldiers in Kazarus that are now at risk, and yep the stakes have just been raised

Reade gets called into the principal’s office to discuss his little spat with Zapata. How exactly does Hirst know about that, though? Though I guess if she’s paid attention to any of their interactions today then she probably could have figured it out. I’m offended that he calls Zapata a busybody?? But then he does at least say that she’s nothing to worry about and that she’s a friend. What do you two have to hide though??? Meanwhile in the lab, Patterson has found the kid by examining the curtains in a video that the kid sent to his gf. That’s my lil genius. Of course it’s super convenient that this type of curtain is only made for a specific motel chain, but whatevs, I’ll let it slide as I do with many things in this show haha. I love Zapata teasing Weitz though, suggesting that it was all too smart for him and went over his head haha

Jane’s clearly taking this case pretty personally-- and tbh it does seem veeeeeeeery convenient that there’s a case that resonates so closely with her current situation, until you remember that this time around, all the tattoos are specifically designed by Roman to be revealed in a certain order, so it makes total sense that the case matches stuff going on in their personal lives. More sense than when it happened in the last two seasons, so touche, writers. You win this round. Anyway they get to the hotel, and the kid immediately pulls a gun on them. His mom’s not looking too good though, kinda bleeding out a little on the bed, and ugh Jane does her frightened-animal whisperer thing and convinces the kid to let her help his mom. Naturally he chooses to trust her bc lbr wouldn’t you?? They get his mom to the hospital where she’s super well guarded, and he tells them about only learning at 18 about his mother’s attack. And he only learned yesterday about the whole king thing, and tells them he’ll never go to Kazarus. You just know that Jane is thinking about her baby and how the kid probably wouldn’t want to know her as they must think she abandoned them, and ugh it hurts. Why must you do this, show?

Back in the lab Patterson and Zapata have set their trap, and are waiting to see who falls into it-- only they don’t like the answer. According to her computer, Reade logged into the system to delete the files. Patterson is grim; she doesn’t like it, but she’s ready to believe it. When Zapata tries to insist that Reade wouldn’t do it, that he’s family, Patterson just reminds her: Borden was family too. And ugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I do not like this at all. I am so done with leaks and moles and traitors and all of it ugh.  I do appreciate Weitz for making me smile here; Zapata is back at her desk and he throws a paper airplane at her, then feigns confusion, looking around for who could have done it. Tbh I actually do ship these two a little bit. All the bickering just does it for me lol. She gives him shit about probably not going to be re-elected, but he says he’s doing great in the polls. She says polls have been wrong before-- and is that some political commentary I hear? Man who was the writer of this ep because they are not pulling punches today. Reade comes over and tries to mend bridges, which tbh tastes a little sour after he was such an asshole this morning... give him nothing, Zapata!

Looks like Yasmine is gonna live, which is nice. She and Jane bond a little over protecting kids etc while Weller and the kid go to get something from the vending machine--- and ugh when they’re coming back Wller notices their guard from the door is gone and pushes the kid behind him. I love protective Weller. I also love Weller throwing an injured woman over his shoulder and carrying her to safety. Damn. He also proved pretty smart-- when they realised that the baddies were on their FBI comms, he bluffed and reported that they were headed for the roof while they escaped out the front door instead. Nice. Though why do I feel like that escape was too easy?

Patterson has figured out that it’s not Reade that’s tampering with their evidence, but someone else using his login. She confesses to Zapata about the backdoor that Wizardville gives her into people’s phones, and says she’s never used it before, which isn’t true though right?? Didn’t she use it on that Lowie guy’s lawyer a few eps ago? Anyway Zapata doesn’t care about the illegal biz, she just wants to hear her best(?) friend’s name cleared.  Turns out he wasn’t even in the building when someone used an FBI computer to access their files, so that’s at least looking good for him, even if it is bad for them as a whole

Weller reports in, and the team tracks their phones and immediately sends backup-- but too late, considering that the baddies have laid out a trap for them. Was this why it was so easy for them to get away?? Jeller manage to take out several bad dudes on their own, but not before one of them manages to molotov-cocktail their car, which blows up moments later. Dude that’s one potent cocktail… but ugh they all make it to safety, with Weller again literally carrying Yasmine, and ugh the mother and son hug and the husband and wife hug and it’s just a very poignant moment okay?? Also there’s just something really beautiful about the way Jane hugs, I can’t even really describe it. Anyhow they all make it back to the NYO, where the rest of the team (plus Weitz, in his own way) are super glad to see them alive. After a minute Zapata and Patterson sneak off, because Patterson needs to tell her the news-- the person using Reade’s login was Hirst. She’s sure because of biometric software that she runs on all of their computers, and again, man I’m super glad that these powers are in the hands of someone trustworthy like Patterson haha. But ugh this means my honey-accented cool aunt is a baddie?? She even knew that Lowie guy from a few eps ago. Well, bummer. Still holding out for the possibility that there’s more to it, but things aren’t looking great...

Oh dear, King Cyrus was murdered, and the Kazarussians are demanding their heir. Which really sucks for the kid, and Jane and Weller try to protect him, but he’s determined to go and to make things better for his fellow Kazarussians. And lbr, to have to go become king is not the worst thing??  

Wow Patterson and Zapata actually went to Reade to warn him about Hirst. I don’t know why that surprises me, but it does. I would have done some more surveillance or something first? But anyway he is really not taking it well, and kinda attacks both of them a bit over it. And wait he’s known Hirst since he was in Quantico??? That’s news to me.  And not good news, either. Please don’t be dirty, Reade. Please…

Jeller are recovering at home after a pretty damn rough day. Jane has changed her mind about finding her daughter-- she wants her just to have a happy, stable life, and that willl be far easier if she never knows Jane exists. And he just hugs her bc what can you do to make that pain better? Nothing, that’s what. She’s going to mourn her connection with her daughter for the rest of her life and ugh it just really sucks

Oh no a time jump, nothing good ever follows a time jump. And oh shit it’s Berlin. Weller’s having no luck with a rude hotel employee, which I find super unbelievable because a) he’s front desk staff at a fancy hotel, b) the person asking him for help is a man clearly traumatised about his missing wife, and c) he’s German. Him being rude makes no sense. But it does give this girl a cool opening to come help Weller out, and man I am jealous of her German speaking skills. Like I said earlier, it’s not easy!! But wait, there’s more. The girl is not only American, but she’s looking for Jane. Her mother, Jane. And oh Weller, you stupid, stupid boy. You foolish, well-meaning idiot. I am sure that your reasons for not telling Jane about this are all purely to protect her (although I also suspect you’re trying to protect yourself from her leaving you again) but dude. DUDE. This is not the kind of secret you should ever keep, and honestly if Jane leaves your ass when she finds out the truth I’m gonna be on her side of the split. Ugh, my stupid son when will you ever LEARN

[exofluffstuff]

BTS reaction when their GF is upset that P.R didn't win the WBC

Request said: Can I get a reaction to EXO (& if possible BTS) to their girlfriend crying because P.R (her home country) didn't win the WBC and when they asked them why she's crying she said "I'm just so proud of my country, of my people, of my boys, for making it this far. I love them so much and we wanted it more than anything, but it's ok, because they may have not won the championship but they won my heart. Yo soy boricua, pa' que tu lo sepas" (I'm Puerto Rican, just letting you know) Thank you *hugs*

Reactions: 

Jin: “Jin are you going to watch the game with me?” you would ask him. He would agree. Every now and then you would get up and clap and scream “Puerto Rico yo voy a ti *clap* *clap*” Jin being a little confused on what you said but the second time around he tried to repeat it but failed but still you smiled at him for trying. But when the game was over, you felt sad but still proud of your home country for coming this far. 

Suga: “Jagiya, could you keep it down a little bit. I am trying to nap” he would complain. “OH, I am so sorry” you would respond. “What are you watching you seem and sound so excited”. he would ask. “I am watching WBC and my home country is in the finals, so right now I am watching the final game supporting my home country” you said very but very excited. “Oh” is all that he could say. “Okay, well I am going to nap a little bit” he would say. After a hour or so you would scream “QUE PORQUERIA FUE ESTE JUEGO!” with a disappointed voice tone. Suga would wake up and storm off to where were. “Y/N what did I...” he started to say but once he saw your sad expression he cold down a little bit and said “Let’s go to bed” he would say turning off the TV and grabbing your hand. 

J-Hope: “WOOOOHOOO, Puerto Rico eso es!! WOOOHOOO” you would happily scream.  Hoseok would also follow along with you. But when in the middle of the game you kind of figured that your home country was about to lose but still you decided to watch until the very end. You felt very sad once the results were revealed, USA won and your home country lost, tears flowed down your eyes, a worrying Hoseok would ask “Y/N why are you crying?” “Because I feel so proud of those representing my country. I know they worked very hard to get to where they where but they lost” you explained. He would just nod his head(But also feeling what you’re feeling)  and hug you until you felt better.

 Rap Monster: “Y/N...what are you doing?” he would ask confused as you put your Puerto Rico red shirt on that you bought on the internet because in Korea you could not find it. “What do you think I am doing, Namjoon” you would respond. “Ummm... I don’t know you tell me” he would say. “ I am supporting my home country” you would explain. “Oh so the game is today?” he would ask you would just nod “Then lets go and start watching it”he would say. After the game was over, Namjoon can’t help but noticed you’re disappointed/sad/depressed look on your face. “Y/N why are you like this? This was just a..” he started to say. “Just a game, huh? well I do take more seriously than that..have you thought of the sacrifice that these guys had to do in order to appear there and win the matches to get the to finals” you said. “yeah, but..” he started to say. “But what!?” you would ask. “They did their best and even though is not my home country I also feel very proud of them” he would say making your heart melt. 

Jimin: “Puerto Rico!!! Vamos pa’ lante!” you would scream. Jimin would smile at you for being a very supportive girl for your home country. He loved to see you in action (by action I mean being passionate about something). He smiled every now ,(and also filmed you),  then for your sudden reactions. He also sometimes joined in but when the game was over you couldn’t help but be sad because your home country lost. He would go to your side and hug and say “Jagiya, I am pretty sure that the next one, they are going to win”. 

Taehyung (V): You two were happily watching the game when suddenly you were about to scream but V screamed it first “PUERTO RICO....VAMOS” he would say (like the gif) with such a cute but deep accent that melted your heart and made you smile a bit.  But once the game was over you two got super sad that Puerto Rico didn’t win but then you guys decided to forget about the sadness and eat some ice cream. 

JungKook: He would be watching the game with you and every now and then you would scream and that would startle him but also made him smile because you’re reactions were so cute. But then you went to the bathroom, and it was when it revealed that USA has won. Him fearing that I could make you sad he changed the channel. You came back “SO, who won?” you ask curiously. “Ummm...Puerto Rico” he lied. “YES!! I KNEW IT..but how, though?” you would ask. He ignored your question. “Do you want to play a video game” he would ask trying to get your thoughts on another matter. Put your phone started ringing and its was your mom calling probably to give you the news that Jung Kook just gave you. “Hola Ma, bendiciones...QUE??..pero si mi novio me dijo otra cosa. Te llamo en 5 minutos” you said and hang up. “Why did you lied?” you would ask him calmly “Because I didn’t want you to be sad” he would sincerely respond. “But you didn’t had to lie, next time just say it how it is, okay?” you would say as you gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

Exo’s Version (Reaction)

~Reactions Requests Are Temporarily closed. 

[etcetezine-blog]

TV Shows That Scarred Me As A Child

LIL_STEPHANIE21

Hey crew, Lil_Stephanie21 here, and this month I thought I’d do something a bit different. Instead of just analyzing 1 piece of media, I’m gonna make a list (sort of) of some things that scared the hell out of me, and ended up scarring me as a child. These aren’t gonna really be in order, so without further ado, let’s get to it!

Magic School Bus Lost in Space

When I was little (like ages 3-7) I LOVED Magic School Bus. Like, that was my s***. I used to pretend to be Arnold, Ralphie, and Keesha (Not sure why just those guys) and would not answer to any other name except the one of the character I chose that day (Magic School Bus kin?). I would watch that show religiously, and none of the episodes really scared me that much, that is, except for the episode titled Lost In Space. The basic rundown of the episode is Arnold decided to bring his annoying cousin from another school along for the class’s field trip into outer space. She's floored by the fact that they're actually in space, so with each planet they go to, she collects tons of rocks. When they finally got to pluto at the end of the episode (Which was still a planet when this episode aired in ’94) The Frizz is like “lol the bus is too heavy to go back to earth unless we get rid of those rocks, we’ll be stuck here :/“ But STUPID JANET (lmao now I know why I hate that name so much) doesn't wanna leave her rocks. Now, this is the part that scared me, you ready? Janet refuses to get on the bus, she's like “I’m gonna stay” but Arnold's like “Hell no! This is what will happen if you stay on Pluto” AND HE TAKES OFF HIS HELMET AND FREEZES!!! TO DEATH!!!! Ok ok, technically Arnold didn’t freeze to death, but I was 4, what did I know? The entire class gets Arnold back on the bus, and at the end of the episode we see he’s perfectly fine, just has a slight cold. Not only did that episode scar little innocent Lil_Stephanie21 for life, it gave me unrealistic expectations on what would happen if I took my helmet off in space. Way to go MSB, you could've killed me if I ever became an astronaut.

Scooby Doo Zombie Island

Something else I loved when I was little (let’s say 4-10 age range) was Scooby Doo. I was in LOVE with that show What’s New Scooby Doo, the two live action movies,  Witch’s Ghost, Alien Invaders, and Zombie Island being my favorite. I’m only gonna talk about Zombie Island today though, because of all of them, that one terrified me the most. For those not aware of the plot, screw you that’s what Wikipedia’s for. But I’ll still tell you. The gang has been separated for I think like a year when they decide to reunite and go on a cross country ghost hunting trip (which I’d love to do irl) where they discover that, as per usual w these guys, all the ghosts and stuff they see are fake. When they get to New Orleans however, they’re invited to this creepy house where, not only are there real ghosts, there are also real zombies, and REAL WERECATS!!! WHAT!?!?! Now, the first time I watched this, I don’t really remember being that scared until the last 20 or so minutes when it’s revealed that the owners of the house they’re staying at have not only been dead for like, 200 years, but are also werecats.I remember sitting there as the credits rolled, being scared out of my mind. I think the part to me that was really scary was the fact that they weren’t just people in masks or something like that, they were seriously real! And they almost killed the gang! I didn’t watch that movie for years afterwards, and to be honest, those werecats still scare me to this day.

Disneyland Sing Along Songs Grim Grinning Ghosts

I’ve always loved Disney and Disneyland, even as a child I attribute this to me watching this VHS tape of the 1990 Disney Sing Along Songs that was taped at Disneyland. I always thought this was super cool because it was like I could go to Disneyland at any time I wanted! I loved this tape, and I remember watching it nonstop. I’m sure all of you know what a Disneyland Sing Along Songs tape is, so I’m not gonna get into it. Just know that it’s just like a regular SALS, except for at Disneyland, so it’s like you’re singing these Disney songs, at Disneyland, with the characters (And a ton of random early 90s kids). So it was super child friendly, except for one of the songs. That song was Grim Grinning Ghosts. I remember the title song for the song coming up on screen and me high tailing it out of the room before I caught even a glimpse of the horror. Even watching it today it’s still scary. It’s basically just the costumed characters of the Big Bad Wolf, Evil Queen from Sleeping Beauty, the old Evil Queen from Snow White, Captain Hook, and, for some reason, Donald Duck in a ghost costume dancing around on the lawn of the Haunted Mansion at night with the spooky trees from Snow White dancing with them and a couple interior shots of the Haunted Mansion. Never failed to scare the hell out of me. I still get goosebumps when I see that title card.

Doctor Who Blink

Alright if you know me in real life, I know you’re thinking “Lil_Stephanie21 you loser! You were in middle school when you were into that show!” And to that I say two things. One, screw you, and two, I was actually in 5th grade when I started watching the show, it just wasn’t till middle school that I got super into it. So I was in fifth grade watching the ending of an episode of Doctor Who, minding my own business, when the credits begin to roll. Doctor Who does this thing where it shows a little preview of the next episode in the credits of the episode you’re watching. When I saw the Weeping Angels, I screamed. I IMMEDIATELY ran to turn off the TV, started crying, and absolutely refused to watch any episodes (there were 3 at the time) containing those horrible creatures. Even now I can barely look at them. I’m not even gonna begin to try and explain the plot of the episode, it’s super unnecessarily complex, but I will explain those guys to you. Ok so the weeping angels are stone angel statues with a twist. They’re normal statues when you first see them, but the second you blink, close your eyes, or turn around, they turn into a horrifying looking angel. At that point they’ll do one of two things. They’ll either send you back in time to any random location with no way to get back to the present, or just snap your neck. Either way you’re pretty much screwed, cause there’s no WAY you can stare at them forever, you know. Also, you’re not supposed to look at them in the eyes, because if you do, they’ll get into eyes and you’ll turn into a weeping angel. The only way to defeat them is by getting two or more to look at each other so they turn to stone permanently. This episode, and others containing the angels, MESSED. ME. UP. If I ever accidentally stumbled onto an image or video of the angels, I’d scroll down as fast as I could so I didn’t accidentally blink. Yeah, it didn’t help that at the end of Blink, the main protagonist of the show, The Doctor, turned directly at the screen to tell you, the viewer, that every single statue in the world was a weeping angel and that no one was safe. What the hell.

Wizards of Waverly Place Wizards Vs Werewolves

WOWP has always been one of my favorite kid shows (I wrote a whole article on it for Pete’s sake!) But there was one episode of it that shook me to my very core. I was 9, almost 10 years old when this episode came out, and I remember watching it on its air date. Man I was pumped. I didn’t get to finish the episode though. Why, you may ask? Because I turned off the tv and started crying. Mason turning into a werewolf was the SCARIEST thing ever to me at the time! And to be honest, it’s still frightening. You’ve got this mild, tame, British kid who suddenly goes beast mode on his gf and his gfs best friend, like? He grows fangs too, and long nails! He growls, he yells, it’s scary. I really don’t have much to say about this episode because it’s part of an arc I don’t really have the time to talk about, but man. I remember laying in bed that night, being scared out of my mind that Mason would somehow get onto my roof, come through my bedroom window, and maul me. To this day, the thought remains in the back of my mind.

[mjeoppa]

a story i told my friends

it’s long so. also contains malay words, if need translation dont use google, ask me. Quick summary: im actually happy (???questionable) but its all rather bittersweet

Maybe a quick intro to the characters of the drama

Me:awkward but living Raja: someone i kinda grew close through wanting to go to the same places together, a smart girl who's understanding and talks a lot, went to an agama school so she has that conservative part of her Afiq: a guy who lives in my neighborhood who's like probably the good samaritan of our malaysian organization, hobbies include playing video games, watching anime and cooking Hakim: afiq's housemate, doesnt really talk to people much but likes to get involved, hobbies include creating short films

So, i met all 3 separately; raja, since she's in my batch, earlier on, in fact she actually flew to michigan with me halfway, then we had different flights. Afiq i met when he came over to my house once, then later he came by bc my housemates said he could help me put my table together, and even then we were chatting comfortably. Hakim i met on a bus home after orientation, and i recognized him immediately; the guys from damansara i saw in the malaysian organization yearbook. But i didnt say anything bc how would i know he's malaysian lol

So after awhile i became friends w raja and afiq, progressing quite well in the friendship statuses, both of them having common interests w me. Then i found out that they were close w each other too. By the end of the semester, it was pretty obvious that afiq has a thing for raja, by the way he treats her.

Hakim on the other hand i kept having accidental meet ups w on the bus, n i could only officially say i know him after the first mso (malaysian student organization) meeting, but after that i didnt have a chance to say a thing to him. But after that meeting, i could also officially say that i have a crush on this guy. Afiq had talked about him, my friend's housemate talked about him, n from what i learned this guy has a weird charm where he does the most unexpected things, or maybe bc hes so quiet no one really knows what hes thinking

Im close to one of my housemates (who has graduated last semester), kak tipah whom i confessed i have a thing for hakim, and she told me that he has a girlfriend 🙃this was rather early in the semester, so i ended up shuffling crushes a lot throughout, but ofc hakim was still my first crush, also my first heartbreak in michigan

Another one of my housemates, kak su, recruited me to join her for her winter break trip, and when she asked whom i think would wanna join, i suggested raja. Another person who was already in on the plan w kak su was a guy named mirza. At this point i knew nothing about him. There was a phase where i would continuously confirm w my housemates whom mirza is through pictures until i could officially recognize him myself

It was thanksgiving, or maybe a few days before when mirza finally confirmed that the fifth and final member of our trip is hakim (jeng jeng jeng). I was happy, but i had to remain calm. He has a girlfriend, after all.

Okay so winter trip. That was so freaking fun. Funny thing is that we were 5 random people w different backgrounds, and yet we managed to make it work. It was awkward in the beginning, but later we learned how each other worked and after a few forum sessions we were more open w each other. Yes i did get to know hakim, but i also got to know so much more about raja, and mirza is a person that i didnt expect when i first came here to be someone that would be cool w being friends w me.

The ridiculous thing is that it was very early in the trip that we established that both kak su and hakim werent available. I didnt know when it started, but hakim started to talk more, and i liked that he didnt mind sitting around me, he was comfortable w stuff like giving me food he couldnt finish and asking what i wanted to order (dinner is usually the time we could talk, otherwise we'd be in the car and we cant really have a one on one conversation)

Raja on the other hand couldnt stop talking

She asked weird questions, and at first it was just to me, but later i fell asleep a lot so she started asking mirza, and so it became a thing that when theyre bored they would be listening to raja's epiphanies about life

Somewhere in between the first and second week of the trip i was texting afiq a lot n he said "aku susah nak rapat dengan perempuan" so to prove to him how bad i am at making friends w guys i told him that he's the closest guy friend i ever had, so ever since that i guess we had this agreement that we were somewhat close friends and we can kinda tell each other stuff

And believe me, i tell afiq stuff i dont even tell raja

So anyway at first i was kinda happy, and we had fun talking bout stuff, but later i saw that he was chatting w raja, so i felt a bit suckish bc he said he was bad at making friends w girls, so was he just saying it for the sake of it?

So there was a time where we were staying at separate houses, the girls and boys, so we decided to go out to eat, and there wasnt anything else to do in tulsa anyway, so we sat and ate and talked for 3 hours. So i asked mirza when did he finally recognized me as "elyna" and he said actually the first time he heard of me was from afiq who told him that i knew a bunch of animes, and yea actually this was before i told him hes my closest guy friend but i just realized that this was when hakim started to talk to me more than usual

Hmm there were times when he says stuff that i was thinking, n i think i say stuff that hes thinking as well bc when it happens he kinda glanced at me weirdly in the beginning, later when weve talked to each other more we finally say things like "hey i was about to say the same thing" or something like that. Example: we were eating at a thai restaurant n the menu was kinda simple, and i was thinking to myself "ape lagi. Pad thai jela." Then mirza asked hakim what he was gonna order, and he literally said the exact same thing i was thinking. Once mirza asked for an extra bowl of rice (also a thai restaurant, but this was a lot later) and he was saying "mahal doh, 2 ringgit" then hakim asked "brape?" "2 ringgit" then i glanced at him and he glanced at me and i said "murah gak tu. 2 ringgit kalau dollar 50cent." Then we laughed and he said he was about to say the same thing.

Theres this thing during dinners that he does, starting from this gyro place, where he would want me to sit somewhere near him, like either across or next to him, probably so that he can crack jokes w me, but after awhile we ran out of things to say. So sometimes we kinda order similar things just bc. Im not sure. Sometimes he follows my lead, sometimes i follow his, then when what i wanna order is too far from what he wants he just orders wtv he wants. I guess later he realizes that im really bad at first orders haha my food always turns out not that good a dish.

Okay so if i go on and on about the trip this story will never end. Basically we had fun, for a bunch of awkwardly matched 5-some. Raja really liked opening forums and asked weird questions and one of em was what were their first thoughts of us, and hakim said that i came to his house several times to play video games so he thought he'd have that to talk about w me. Raja, he said talked way too much for his liking in the beginning, he said he would like his peace lmao. Both of them knew kak su beforehand so they didnt really think of anything. Thing is, raja actually felt hurt at hakim's comment, even tho it was evident that even if he didnt like all her talking, he wouldnt actually stop her from talking. Except there was a time we wanted to play a game in the car n he said "jom main game senyap, siape paling lama diam die menang" n we all laughed n we asked whats the prize n he said that person can get to talk for an hour n kak su said lets let hakim win so that he has to talk for an hour. I take too much time explaining details ugh.

So for the next day after that confession by hakim raja didnt talk to hakim at all. She literally asked everyone what their glasses power were except hakim. I laughed at him quietly in sympathy. But later she was okay w him again. Just that whenever he talked to her she would complain to me.

She also complained that hakim took a long time to follow raja back on instagram but for me it was on the same night. I said it was bc i followed him when i saw that he was on ig, but she said she saw him going on ig after she requested to follow him but he hadnt approved.

Also both raja and kak su knows i like hakim since before the trip.

It was in new orleans that i really felt like he was making me expect too much from him. He wanted to buy a hot dog for himself, but kak su n raja were sharing, n i didnt want one whole hot dog, so he ended up sharing w me, n he even followed me to the counter when i ordered, n it really made me happy, my heart was bursting, thats the only way i can explain it.

So after that everything was rather mediocre. I theorized a pattern in his ig picture liking in which he would like pictures i post that did not include myself in it, except one. After we got home i kinda felt that feeling of "so thats it?"

But it wasnt. My housemates were saying i couldnt move on, but it really wasnt something to move on from. 3 weeks of just them gave me a lifetime of memories. So when I went out w raja on the sunday before classes start, i guess i shouldnt have been surprised whem raja confessed that she has a crush on mirza.

She went on and on about how they had been talking ever since the morning after we arrived home, and all i could talk about was how i felt like hakim treated me like something more than just another girl, n raja said she saw it too, n i couldnt hold on to those feelings bc he has a gf.

Talking about his gf, throwback to new orleans, second night, 1am. It was just me, mirza and raja, n before mirza had mentioned that hakim's gf went to mirza's mrsm before he got there, so he kinda knew who she was, n he told us that night that the girl's previous boyfriend wasnt like hakim at all, so he was surprised. So me n raja were making all kinds of conclusions. Maybe hakim came into the picture right after mimi, the gf just broke up w her prev bf so she was more accepting of him. Maybe mirza didnt really like the girl. Maybe the circumstances of their relationship is not as it appears, but theyve been together for 3 years, and for 2 of those years hakim was in the states n she's back home, so who r we to say if their relationship is good or not? Speculation wasnt even decent, but we speculated anyway.

But yea semester started n in the first week the only time i saw hakim was through a snap of him sleeping in between classes. Raja was moving into our apartment, bc 2 of my housemates were graduating, so she was taking over one of the leases. When hakim found out he was like "alaa nnti jumpa raja dalam bas." N raja was half kidding when she said "okay la kalau jumpa dalam bas aku tak tegur kau".

On that sunday afiq was being real weird. He's close to one of my housemates, one that i havent revealed until now, kak sj, n i dont know if it has anything to do w her graduating. she was the one who told me to ask him to help w the table n she invited him over several times to cook w her. But he was asking me if i had classes he could join in n in the first week, i saw him every week day. We talked a lot about mso n classes n common interests. One day i was saying youre old afiq, and you havent even confessed to ur crush, whatre u gonna do? Then he told me that hes actually confessed to her, a month ago. I was so surprised. I mean, if it really was a month ago, it had to be someone from my batch, probably, n it couldnt have been anyone but raja? But i didnt wanna assume, so i offered a trade - my crush for yours. So he told me about confessing to raja, n i told him about hakim.

That night we talked on the phone for almost 2 hours about feelings and shit. I was pretty dumbfounded. He confessed to raja before the trip, and she kept that from me all the while, i know its probably not my business, but i wonder if she thought it was better that i didnt know? Bc she tells me almost everything about her life, n i tell her almost everything about mine, so why this secret?

I couldnt keep all this to myself. The night before kak tipah's flight home, i told her everything. She said that she shipped mirza w raja, n me w afiq. I told her that me n afiq cant be more than friends, especially not now. And imagine, im actually one of the last ones to know about this confession. Both of them must know that i felt left out? Kak tipah asked, if afiq suddenly told me he likes me, what would i do? I said i probably wouldnt accept him, bc i feel like im just the second option. Then she asked, what if he confessed to me, not raja? Then i said i probably wouldnt accept him immediately, but eventually.

I also felt that afiq's confession was off in timing- it was way too early. We hadnt been here for even 6 months, we barely know everyone in mso, u really couldnt expect her to have accepted him immediately. But later afiq did say that he didnt expect anything from her, he just wanted to know that he likes her. One of the things that we mentioned during the 2 hour talk was what was his previous girlfriends like, n he said him n his friends concluded that there were 3 main components in the girls he liked; 1. Wears glasses 2. Is introverted and 3. Has common interests w him. I was being so slick at not pointing out that all these descriptions fit me, but instead i avoided it by comparing it to raja, n she only wears glasses at night, is extremely extroverted, n common interests w her is very general.

But yea, he dropped out of the classes he was planning to take w me, but we still talked a lot about stuff, n two wednesdays ago i went to his house for fun, n it was hakim's turn to cook, n i think that was the third time this semester i saw him, n he invited me to eat and said "makanla, aku masak untuk kau kot" n it was a happy moment, even if i knew he was just kidding. Later all his housemates left me n afiq to our geeking out session.

The first time i saw him in the semester was during an mso gathering. We didnt talk. The second time i saw him, i didnt actually see him, altho he probably saw me. Raja had been complaining about meeting hakim on buses n being awkward about it, so one day I was helping raja move her stuff, n we were carrying big plastic bags of pillows onto a bus. Raja mentioned beforehand that she hopes she doesnt see any malaysians, n especially not hakim. The bus we got on was rather crowded, so me n raja had to sit separately. I wanted to sit at the back, but it was too much effort to squeeze in, so i just sat somewhere in the middle. When we were almost home, raja kept giving me signals, but i didnt get it. As soon as we got off, raja went all "DAH CAKAP DAH. MULUT AKU NI MASIN SANGAT." So hakim was on that bus, n i didnt even notice him, even after all my previous efforts to get on a bus w him, when i finally did i didnt even see him. I probably did, but i didnt recognize it was him. Raja kept complaining about it but i was just frustrated, so she ended up pissing me off.

Okay so one day i told him that i had a theory for why he likes raja, a girl who doesnt fit the usual description, n it was bc he didnt want to get broken hearted by girls who are as such again, so he opted for someone who's different, bc srsly his exgf treats him like they never came around to broke his heart so thats mean, but it was also a hint i was giving that he should probably stick to being friends w me so that he wont get broken hearted again, but he was all "hahahah you just made my day" and it was bittersweet

This whole thing is bittersweet- liking hakim is, too. Bc i feel like he's someone who treats me better than he treats raja, n that feels so good, even if it sounds mean, but when was the last time i ever felt like i was someone who was preferred over another girl?

Back to the story, things kinda got lost in between my own life of working and classes and doing design stuff for mso n never doing what they want me to do, so when raja suggested we made a batch gathering in our new house, i thought it was an awesome idea bc i havent hung out w kids in my batch for awhile now, n after having a short lunch w one of em the other day i realized that theyve been spending their time living their lives awesomely as well, n i kinda wanna hear all about it.

So yeaa after many discussions on when we should do it n whos free when we finally decided to do it last friday night. Thing is, that morning was my first shift ever, so right after i had to go buy stuff to replenish the household resources. when i was on my bus home, i saw afiq somewhere near the bus driver. I waved at him, hating to sit in front bc those r usually reserved seats n i dont like hesitating to stand up to offer an older person the seat, so i went all the way to the back w my bags of groceries n there he was, abdul hakim bin zazli.

When he saw me he asked "pegi meijer ke?" And i said yea and our conversation stopped there. I was wearing earphones, but he wasnt, but he was looking at his phone. Afiq messaged me "have fun" n i hated him. After awhile i noticed he wasnt really on his phone, he was just bored n that was his escapade, as usual, a habit of his ive noticed since the trip. So I wanted to make conversation, but when i called out "kim" he wasnt responding so i looked away, but suddenly he turned to me but i was already looking somewhere else, so he didnt say anything. He didnt say bye, but after walking a bit i noticed afiq turning around n grinning at the bus. I still hate him.

So that night was pretty awesome. Even most of the guys came. All the girls came. It was tiring having to make sure there was always food for the guests n that they werent bored, but everyone was pretty chill n i loved it. My batch is pretty awesome. I think one of the best feelings after thinking that u suck at befriending guys is having guys laugh at your jokes. intec guys sucked. period.

Saturday night. I was supposed to be studying for a monday exam. Suddenly afiq asked if i wanted to play left4dead2, which is a game we casually play together w sal, a chill sarawak girl who i have a friend crush on (she loves video games too n owns a ps4). We also managed to get mirza to play w us. After losing one round too many times, mirza quit n the cpu sort of saved our ass. It was 2am n we were still talking while doing our own shit. I have a feeling us 3 would make a pretty awesome trio.

Anyway i ended up being the last one sleeping bc i was editing jongup's bday video, but they all said they'd wanna come over to the ceramics studio to play clay from my wheel throwing class. So the next morning i told them it was pretty empty, so sal came n made an awesome mug for a first timer. She had fun. Afiq had a meeting so we met up w him for pizza after, then he came back to the studio w me bc he wanted to play w clay too. He told me that hakim brought the car to campus, so if i still had a lot of work to do n would probably miss the last bus at 5.30 i could ask him. So i did. He said he was going back at 10, n afiq didnt wanna go back that late, so he ended up have someone pick him up at 7. At 9, hakim was in front of the art building.

I keep forgetting to tell u guys that raja has met hakim on buses several times but he wouldnt talk to her, or like, he ignored her, which was something he did even to me before the trip, which is why when he talked to me first on friday, it felt great really. But raja hated it. She questioned it - why does hakim talk to me but not her? Why is he the only person she knows who wouldnt talk to her? I guess what she hated was his ego, but it also made it sound like she wants everyone on earth to love her, n i couldnt really stand that. But i didnt say a thing.

So when he initiates conversation during that what felt so short trip home, i was happy. As i described it to raja, it was a give n take. He would ask a question then talk n I would ask a question then talk n we were still cracking jokes when we were at the front door of my apartment. Unlike afiq who likes long goodbye n attachment, hakim's goodbyes were short n sweet, n i wonder why he's so chill w me, n some parts of me says that he probably thinks i have something going on w afiq, n i kinda hate that.

-tbc-

[wittynshitty-blog]

CH 7-An UN-FAVORITE Mistake!

Every mistake is a lesson…………………..is that so!

Can a mistake be so big that it can change a person to his soul and by soul I really mean SOUL.

So there he was looking at the land of Korea on the brink of the ocean,he was excited as for the first time in 8 months he will be going out of his ship, the feeling of land touching his feet,the people yes the people which he will be meeting after so many months, and yes not to forget the call cards which he will be getting by which he can talk to his parents and with her for as long as he may like,he was just so excited only by the thought of it.

He reached Korea in the following afternoon,he got his call card and dialed her number 7838____70! he knows it by heart with a smile on his face he pressed the call button.

he-hi

she-hey

he-i m Geeta speaking

she-i know,i know your voice

he-really i wish i could say the same to you but it seems like i m talking to a man!

she-Ha ha! very funny! tonsils!

he- you and your tonsils!

she-hmm….

they kept on talking for hours about everything they can think of like how much they miss each other,how they are just living life by counting days,how her coaching is going,how one guy have sang a song for her “muskurane ki wajah tum ho”, then all her other new friends in her coaching class etc etc.

After 2 to 3 hours of talking to each other,he said aacha i have to call my parents too and after that will talk to you tomorrow as you are busy in studies too!

he called his parents talked and then it was it! he got carried away in the call so much that he forgot the timings to go out,so didn’t went out to see Korea and went back to his work.

The  next day 04/07/2014

he got up and called his parents it was his mom…..

mom-wait a min,you said your call card have talk time of 4 hours,you only talked to us for half an hour what happened to the rest? what was the need to buy new call card?

he-yeah but friends bhi toh hai! he said laughing!

mom-friends? only one i can think of!

he-correct! usi se baat kar tha!

mom-okay but…………anyway aur tell whats going on?

he-nothing much just some pending work! and ermm but…….? kya?

mom-nothing its just i have seen her roaming with other guys near our house!just that i thought you both don’t talk that’s all.

he-aaray it nothing we do talk and the guy you are talking about is her cousin brother who is there,she did told me about him!

mom-okay but no brother roam around in green belt with her sister.

he-mom? its okay! forget it so where is dad?

then he talked to his dad then his sister about everything, how are they doing etc etc!

when he cut the phone the 1st thing on his mind was guy? roaming? green belt?

He thought of calling her but realized its too early for her i mean 8am and she will be up impossible he smiled and opened his Facebook.

he went to her profile and started looking at her pics,she looks cute in each of them miss photogenic he said to himself he did saw some pics of her with some guy but she have already told him about it. its okay he said he did felt jealous of him being near her but hey its 21st century not medieval period.

He went out in Korea roaming here there, buying stuffs and then in the end he was forced by his colleague to go inside a bar and by bar I mean it was a strip bar which was common in Korea.

suddenly he had an idea!

he called her

he-hey beautiful

she-hi and why so romantic?

he-aise he,aacha im out in korea streets and need your full attention now!

she-ermm okay! tell?

he-I am outside a strip bar and i promise i wont go inside if you say “no need to go inside come back and you can have your own show” he started laughing!

she-NO! (she said firmly)

he-really no? (he got a bit disappointed and angry at the same time,he shouldn’t be angry as he asked her that in a funny sense but that straight no was not expected by him)

she-yeah no! ain’t gonna happen!

he-(wanted to scream, have a great walk with whosoever you are roaming with but instead…….) okay im going then!

she-enjoy (frustrated)!

he was frustrated too, he was thinking why he is getting upset and angry?, he meant that in a funny way surely she would have said no but the tone of her voice that firmity, that was just what made him angry,he started thinking she would have at-least said  something funny or smart, but NO ,okay he said to himself “no after 3 years, and also for doing exactly what she said all this time,okay what was the last thing she said “enjoy”,okay lets not disappoint her now…………..and started walking towards the strip bar.

Back in India she was thinking what just happen? why he was asking all this all so sudden? is he okay? is he sad or is he just so excited? I might have used or said something else as he did sound angry by the end………….!

Back in the bar!

Strip bar of Korea was a complete disappointment for him,it was a dim lit hall where on one side there was a stage for singing karaoke, the middle part have chairs where you can order food and drinks, on the other side there was a bar where you can drink and on the far end there was a door for private shows and the girls who are serving should be paid well enough to get a private show from them,and not to forget the private shows means a 20 min lap dance if you can last that long and if you are lucky enough then you might have a kiss or two!

He-“what?” his first reaction after hearing all the terms and conditions of the bar, which was told to him by his senior officer.

He-“so what are we going to do here sir?”

senior-“I am going to have drinks and wait for the guys you can tag along,and you sure you didn’t wanna go inside?” (he said with a wink)

he-“No,having kind of a rough day got up in fight with my gf”

senior-“women’s god’s mystique” (he sounded totally drunk after finishing up his 2nd bottle of corona)

he- “right”

senior-“you want anything to drink, no issue bill is on me”

he-“no thank you sir,you know i don’t drink”

senior-“yeah but they do serve cold drinks too if you like to have it”

he-“okay i might like coke sir”

so after that they waited for there remaining members,talking about all the time they have spent together,talking about home,how much they miss it etc etc

suddenly he was disturbed by a female voice

she-hey Mr. Cold drinker?

he-Ermm excuse me? are you talking to me? (he noticed a girl from the bar)

She-yeah I am talking to you only, so if you don’t drink then why are you inside the bar?

he- I am waiting for my friends that’s all.

she- oh i see, so from where you have come to Korea?

he-India

then they kept on talking about each other what they do, why they do it, he literally asked her “so why do you work in a place like this? she replied with a faint smile “i have a son and need money for him as his father have left them both” he “oh i see i am sorry,i don’t know what to say”

after that they again talked and talked…….he was happy because after so long someone out of the ship was actually talking to him, understanding him etc etc,they end up being friends and exchanged there emails.

she-so since you don’t drink, i might have to pay for my own drink just to talk to you more!

he-yeah maybe but if you want you can go and talk to someone else, its okay i understand its your job!

she-(with a smile) no i prefer to sit and lets have a bet!

he-bet? (seeming excited)

she-okay i am going to order a drink and you wont be paying for that if you can undo the hook of my corset with one hand? (she said with a wink)

he-(he remembered the video he have seen in school where Zac efron undo the hook of girls corset on a TV show) you know i know the trick!

she-okay lets see! (she said by bringing her back to him)

he did it and was really surprised by himself that he can actually do that, and for the readers (the girl didn’t got naked she was holding the front part so nothing came off and logically i think its not possible too, okay and he did put the hook back on and surely this time he used both his hands)

so after that they bid good bye to each other he did kissed the girl goodbye and went on with his group!

While coming back he remembered how he forgot the issue he had with his gf due to all that what happened after that! he did made a good friend he was happy about it!

he opened his Facebook to text her sorry but……………..his senior have already posted the pic of him and the girl from the bar on his wall!

Shit!-he screamed!

and texted to his gf-“jealous?”

she-“little bit but there was no need to go that far?”

he-” I didn’t went far,actually my senior posted it and i will tell you everything what happened! once i reach the ship over the call!

she-okay!

he got back and told her everything and by everything he meant everything including the girl,the bar,the talk,the bet,the goodbye kiss. (he thought she would have done the same as that’s the way it was suppose to be)

she sounded a bit angry and said “kya zarrurat thi jaane ki”? (what was the need to go inside the bar?)

he couldn’t help his frustration and cut the phone and typed on fb!

“What do you think,how i feel?

Missing you for all these months,every time i think about touching you,hugging you,i miss you so very much and because of that i asked about the show,but no you think i asked that out of lust and now you think i did something with her too isn’t it?

Am i angry or not we will see! but till now i am okay! And if you think i am mean and i don’t care for you, i am there for you just out of lust,well its okay,maybe you deserve someone better!”(THE MISTAKE)

he went offline with tear in his eyes, he was hurt cause she was the one who understood him so much and why she is unable to understand him now,why she thinks he is a lewd person.

she on the other hand was shocked after reading his texts and texted him back, but there was no reply from his side to her apologies………….!

[saintkimora]

ooh a lot happened on thursday and friday. my fave part was when my sociology prof literally gave up in class bc we “looked bored”

so on thursday my first class was sociology and for some reason the topic of the lecture was nyc? i literally have no idea what that has to do w sociology esp when he spent so much time teaching us about his “alternative plan” for how nyc should be run. his plan was that there would be no cars allowed. anyways it was super boring obv and he ended class like 20 min earlier than when its supposed to end which he literally NEVER does. he was like “folks i just cant take looking at all of your bored faces, it makes me feel like im failing as a professor. idk maybe ive just lost my touch. class dismissed” like hes always so sensitive asfjadgnadf like last time when someone accidentally made a sound while yawning in class he went OFF he was like “youre lucky i dont know which one of you just yawned so im just gonna say whoever did it youre a fucking asshole and your parents must have done a bad job raising you for you to have no fucking manners. asshole” like...its a 9am class ofc people are gonna yawn LMAO hes so dramatic and he was like “if whoever did it doesnt come forward by the end of class and apologize im done trying with you guys” like this is the most cracked prof ive ever had

then psych was pretty uneventful except for this one part where i saw the 2nd hottest guy in the class (vikram is first obv) he came in wearing shorts even though it was still cold out and he had such nice hairy legs AND he had ass i was smitten. his name is hassan and hes so cute and has like cute dark brown eyes and he has nice facial hair

then in anatomy we watched the best video in like...the history of man. we are currently doing the heart so i guess this has to do with it bc its about heart attacks. so the prof pulled up this video from extreme pigouts about the “heart attack grill” and it was the FUNNIEST video i was literally crying in class while we were watching it. it was the most ive laughed in like...a year. like its called the heart attack grill bc its so unhealthy and they serve like quadruple burgers and stuff and the funny part is that all the waitresses have to dress up as “sexy” nurses and they refer to customers as patients and orders as prescriptions and they like check the patients vitals before taking their order ASFNAKFENGSK and the person who started the restaurant is a DOCTOR and they showed him on the grill pressing the burgers with a stethoscope lmao and they use so much lard and instead of like a salad bar they have a fry bar like it is just the messiest restaurant and my new dream is to work there as one of the nurses. and it was even funnier bc my classmates were so grossed out and confused 

after it ended my anatomy prof looked at me and he was like “i think perry enjoyed that a little too much...lets all pitch in and get him a gift certificate for it” ooh my man noticed how much i was laughing

then on friday the first thing i had was this budget training for the treasurers of the clubs. theres like 4 dif dates for it since they wouldnt be able to fit all of the treasurers in one session so i went to the first one and it was just 2 people including me (the last training thing was 3 people including me) and the guy doing the presentation was the same guy from the last training and he is like... literally THE cutest. his name is claudio and he is a grad student i think and i usually dont care for guys w/o facial hair but it works for him bc he is just so good looking! like he has nice hair and lips and the cutest smile and he has some of those mole/beauty mark (?) things on his face and he has like gay voice (but he has a gf rip) and he has a nice ass too and his mannerisms while talking are so cute too like...i love him. anyways the actual presentation was whatever but im gonna have to write out the gsa budget for next semester soon and it is stressing me out

then i had a little over an hour until my next thing so instead of going home i decided to go to the library and work on my orgo lab stuff! i only went bc it was a friday so i knew it wouldnt be too crowded. so ya it was nice i was able to do like half of my next mini report 

then at 3 i had to go participate in a psych study bc we if you take gen psych you have to participate in studies. and it was iconic bc we had to complete an online personality survey beforehand and then i came in and she gave me a print out of my results and then she went to go print out the debriefing forms while i read my results and it said for future problems i was at risk for having a “socially avoidant personality” or something and this analysis DRAGGED me it was like “you will most likely end up alone you will lose all of your friendships and relationships by your mid 20s and any marriages you have will not last” i was bald then a while later she came back in and i had to fill out a form for how i was feeling rn and then i realized it was a trick lol and she was like yeah we give everyone that analysis and it was a test to see if people use their phone to escape stressful situations and we’ve been videotaping you this whole time and it was true i guess bc after reading it i did go on my phone while waiting for her! but idk if it was really applicable to me bc i wasnt really stressed i was laughing about it bc i know not to take these kinds of personality tests too seriously but yeah that was a fun little trick they tried to pull on me

also i reinstalled grindr and kyle started messaging me but he wasnt free at all this weekend bc his mom came to visit smh but after that we are going to start seeing each other. he is fine w either a relationship or just hooking up but i told him i wasnt ~emotionally available~ for a relationship when actually i am just not with him bc once freddy has time for me in his life again im gonna go back to him