#i saw someone talking about how ted gets done dirty and it pissed me off

[oncamelliastreet]

it’s not talked about enough how horrible of a father and husband ted wheeler is. like, i’ve always seen him as an asshole and a neglectful father and husband. he’s very distant with his family, and whenever his family is around, he doesn’t actually pay attention to them. the most personal we’ve seen him with any of his family is holly. it’s clear that karen feels unfulfilled in her relationship. she’s constantly changing up her looks and is rarely seen without a glass of wine, and whenever it’s brought to their attention that their kids are in trouble, ted is consistently focused on how this is going to affect him and karen has to tell him off for being so self-absorbed.

hopper is more of a father figure to mike than his own father, as seen by the amount of times he has to give him a damn hug in the show because nobody else will. and while I think nancy has relationship issues for other reasons (such as her association between barb’s death and steve), it’s clear that both she and mike have similar issues being emotionally vulnerable in relationships (neither of them being honest about their feelings and having difficulties saying ‘i love you’ to their partners (though in Mike’s case this is definitely also because he’s literally in love with will)) and i don’t doubt that those issues stem from growing up seeing a poor relationship between their parents, and ted being emotionally neglectful. I don’t like him at all, I find even the lines he’s given that are meant to be jokes to be very telling about who he is as a person and a father, and that’s not somebody I would be happy to be married to.

[gillian-greenwood]

My Episode 7 Predictions!

Mother of God! How have these weeks passed by so fast?! I've decided to share what I think will be answered tomorrow night and some of the fates of our beloved characters! The series has gotten off to an even bigger success than it's predecessor and EVERYONE'S talking about it! Without further ado, let's see what I'm predicting!

Who's H/fourth man (or woman) and will we find out?

The question that's on the nation's minds. That has been boggling us since 2017... My personal prediction still stands as CC Philip Osborne, however... I think he's purely sitting on his arse and pulling the strings, whilst others are doing his dirty work. Those people are Patricia Carmichael: who in all honesty I'm manifesting isn't actually bent but is so career driven and a bit of a lick arse that she's just taking orders and not questioning anything, plus she doesn't think much of Ted either... I have joked that she's been shagging Osborne on the side which would be quite funny. I also believe Buckells has been Osborne's true scape goat for years. Someone as laid-back and unpassionate as Buckells is easily manipulated - I mean how the hell has he become a super? As Steve rightfully says, he couldn't order a piss up in a brewery. Seeing the connections go well back into the early noughties whilst Buckells was part of an oasis tribute band, it's an easy conclusion to make. Lastly I will mention Thurwell, now I think Thurwell may have been more involved on his own doing anyway but I think he'd still been pretty busy doing things on behalf of Osborne up until his alleged death in sunny Spain (Belfast but shh). I know a lot of people still think Buckells, some reckon pas-agg Pat is the top woman... and a few still think our beloved Kate is 'H'.

Now the other part of my point is actually finding out... I think us as viewers will certainly know the identity of this mysterious individual. But, I think we'll find out in the very last few seconds and poor AC12 won't be any the wiser which will open up the foundations for a possible series 7. I think a lot of things will be answered for us viewers but not everything for the characters. I know that if they had a series 7 there would be an other primary focus but I just think it would be clever. Just like how we found out as viewers at the end of series 1 that Dot was a wrong'un.

Is Thurwell really dead?

I'm still very amazed by the whole induction of Jimmy Nesbitt as a series of photos. I know we were supposed to have a secretive guest actor appearance and I believe it was Robert Carlyle's name floating about which would have been insane! But that moment we saw Jimmy, I yelled at the screen. So, this answers the question of seeing a character that had only been mentioned previously - which has been very much hiding in plain sight. Even with a rewatch, I had forgotten about Thurwell and therefore hadn't even considered him. But, I did mention the list from series 3 which did loosely tie in. Anyway, when we learned that Thurwell and his Mrs were now dead and clearly had been for a while - it was cleverly shot so we didn't see who it was, only the Spanish Police's word. You know, I think if we were to get a series 7, Thurwell could appear and he's in fact not dead. It's very rare you get a very well known actor in for something so small without it leading to bigger things. Although, they got Andi Osho, a very much loved comedian in purely for archival photos and videos... I do feel that Thurwell could have easily been on the other end of the fake MSN, and doing Osborne's dirty work - especially with the Spanish connection. In a BTS photo we have seen a clue to a piece of paperwork regarding a time share (Spain mentioned) in front of Kate which will likely have a connection to Thurwell and Spain. I think he's possibly still alive but we'll see...

Joanne Davidson

Kelly Macdonald has been welcomed with a very warm reception. Wow, her connection to Tommy Hunter (albeit disturbing, homozygous DNA... nasty business) was not something I ever expected although I guessed very much so when we learned of the DNA match with a nominal. Would I define her as bent? I mean in layman's terms, yes she is. However each guest star has had a very complicated relationship with the definition - all have done dodgy things and usually for good reason... But I do sympathise with her because of her background, born into trouble, it was very hard to escape - even if her mum took her to Scotland for a life away from it all. From the very start of her career she was doing the OCG's bidding and it transpires she was in the police on Tommy's orders - so very much another caddy. I do feel Jo had always wanted to be a good person and do right and in some ways she did - however she's in too deep. Next I'll mention her relationship with Kate and it's something I'd never have predicted. A lot of suggestive and sapphic behaviour from the off. Now, I do think Jo cares deeply for Kate and has developed strong feelings - and I think Kate deep down has also but I don't think anything will happen sadly. And that's more for the fact that they had run out of track before they could even get going as so much has happened. Kate's gonna save Jo when her transport gets ambushed, that's a given... but I don't think we'll see anything happen that we want to happen. I hope I'm very wrong and we get something but with the hour we've got I don't think it'll be the case. And as for her fate? I think she'll survive. Guest leads usually die, eventually... with the exception of Roz who's serving time with one arm in Brentiss. Giving how unfortunate her life has been from her conception, I think it'll do her justice to escape with her life. Witness protection? Hmm perhaps... Although I think she's done enough dodgy stuff to warrant a prison stretch. Will she be instrumental in revealing who the fourth dot is? Well yeah actually, I think she grew up thinking Thurwell was her dad... and of course having connections to both Osborne and Buckells. Jo joined the force just before the turn of the millennium so would have been a copper when the Lawrence Christopher case occurred in 2003. Even though not directly working with them, I'm sure she knew what was going on and would have come across Osborne and Buckells at that time. I have a strong inkling that she knows exactly who she's been talking to and has been under their wing since the start. If she dies I will be gutted.

Kate

Where are we going with Kate? Well she's just killed Ryan (lawfully) and has gotten away with it. But Carmichael isn't thick... and nor is Steve and Ted. They all know but I think that'll be that for now. For ages I thought she was gonna D word but I think she's gonna be alright now. I hope that somehow she gets back into anti-corruption permanently because that's where she's best suited. I'm shocked that she hasn't had a glass box spectacular - my predictions for her to be accused of being bent and all that were way off the mark... and not a single mention of the two dying declarations... With only an hour tomorrow and so much to deal with, I guess that's not going to be mentioned. And Kate ain't gonna be sanctioned either. But, there's always opportunity with a series 7... She'll definitely be back in AC12, interviewing... I can't see all the BTS photos being Jed Herrings. But we'll see tomorrow!

Steve

Poor Steve eh? He's not had an easy time of it. Addicted to painkillers as I rightfully predicted, unable to trust his gaffer, torn on a transfer and a up and down friendship with his 'mate'. Oh and the car, actually let's not talk about the Mazda... Anyhow I believe that Steve will talk about his back and recent struggles with meds after a lot of emails from occupational health. Will he get pulled off the job at the last second because he didn't book an appointment... yeah I think that might happen and Kate takes his place or something. But there is a counsellor or something credited so I'm pretty certain on that. Will he lose his long overdue promotion? It's possible! I don't think the test was going to come back as a fail but more of a cause for concern - just that the levels of codeine etc in his system was higher than it should and it would be best advised to talk to someone. We haven't seen much pill taking going on since the drugs test so has Steve been going cold turkey? Or have they just veered away from that part of the story? In all fairness he's appeared fine with his back since the Windermere convoy - he ran across an industrial estate... I mean. I hope Steve gets a glimmer of hope and happiness because he rightfully deserves it. Ever since the start he's had his fair sharing of aggro and he deserves a break. I do think however he may be partly responsible for nailing the final nails into Ted's coffin - especially after he discovered the 50K up Merseyside and the truth from Lee Banks. I think he could be potentially happy with Steph, it would be nice for something to happen with them but we'll see. Steve needs a big hug.

Ted

This is going to pain me saying it. But, I don't think Ted is going to make it to the end. His retirement is inevitable. I can see the argument of the retirement being rescinded if they unmask the fourth dot etc and solve stuff but realistically, he's past retirement age. He's so focused on getting to the end of this marathon that I don't think he will see it through and know who it is - because he'll... yeah I don't need to say it. How? I've been saying his heart is gonna pack in. He's going to be in deep trouble over that 50k because Steve and Kate know the truth. But why would the likes of Carmichael find out... Well we've seen a clue of 'definate' on some paperwork - I reckon Ted by coincidence also makes this spelling mistake often as it is one of the most commonly misspelt words and therefore will be in the 'H' running again - he wont be 'H' as I reckon Osborne makes the same mistake... He alleges he misspelt it cos he studied the texts carefully but I think he spelt it how he usually would. They'll all go down the wrong path and accuse him which will lead to his ultimate downfall. Another little teaser is Steve appearing to listen to Ted's 2019 glass box spectacular however notably Carmichael says AC12 interview and not AC3... so mixing two different interviews to tease us? Maybe Ted might feel he has no choice but to sacrifice his career for the truth. However it all gets too much. Lies cost lives... I can't see Ted going on from beyond here and Ted was always supposed to be a minor character until he was very well received by the audience and he was made a main character. Realistically, his story is told and he's at his endgame. I hope he survives, by god I do... He's one of the most loved fictional characters at present. But I have a really bad feeling and I'm worried! It seems a total Jed thing to do for Ted to meet his end without ever finding the truth... seeing that's what his heart has been set on for about four years... I'm sorry to even be going there but it's what I think will happen. And I want to be wrong.

Miscellaneous Predictions

I want to round this all off with other little points. Carmichael won't be bent, maybe still involved with anti-corruption, you love to hate her, there's so much more they could do with her character. I don't think Steph's dodgy at all, she's just a widow whose been helped out by Ted in an unlawful way. I think her and Steve would be well suited. I hope Chloe will get to the end and continue on in anti-corruption, she's got a lot of potential. If Osborne isn't sussed, I reckon he'll still be CC. DCC Wise isn't bent either, just getting on with her job. But if Osborne does get caught and I'm wrong, there will be a lot of chaos for both him and Wise. Farida gets out of jail and starts afresh. Buckells I reckon will get out but won't be apart of the police force anymore. Lomax isn't bent, just a regular cop trying to get the work done. The rest of Jackie's remains will be found under the workshop floor, maybe with someone else? God knows who. Or maybe with some evidence that helps lead AC12 on the right track. Steve will still be an officer and Kate will be back where she belongs. There's probably more but my head hurts.

Will there be a series 7?

Yes.

Thank you all for reading my jumbled thoughts all packed into a text post. I'm nervous but excited for tomorrow night's finale. Let's see if I get anything right... probably not...

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yes. I took this adulthood and aging psychology class and I forget what it was exactly the documentary we had to watch was about, but I remember being on the verge of tears because it reminded me of my grandpa who passed away. 

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? Uhh, I don’t know? Just whenever I fall asleep.

What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Turkey, salami, and bologna.

What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summertime. 

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? Ew, no. 

What is your favorite color to wear? Black.

Are you an overachiever? No. Especially not these past few years where I haven’t done anything at all and put like no effort into anything. :/ At least when I was in school and things were better than how they’ve been the past few years I was productive in school and put effort into things and into myself. I’ve just given up. 

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Perfect teeth.

What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry? Uh, I definitely don’t want to marry Bambi... anyway, I’d say one of the characters Alexander Skarsgard has played.

How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? I don’t know, a couple weeks or so.

Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? Ha, yeah, when I was like 16 during my emo days. They’re so cringe.

What is your favorite thing about your life? My family.

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? No.

How many real bfs/gfs have you had? I honestly haven’t had a real, serious relationship.

Did you enjoy your past relationships? With Joseph I did.

Name a comedy that you like. Bridesmaids.

Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah, but I don’t plan on getting married.

What’s the best Nirvana song? Lithium.

What was the last thing that impressed you? Hmm. I don’t recall.

When was the last time you were in a pet store? It’s been awhile.

What nationality is your last name? Irish, I think.

What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Wavy Lay’s chips with ranch and French onion dip.

Who was the last boy that you saw cry? My brother.

Does your mom know you do surveys? I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a serious injury? Yeah, the one that made me a paraplegic.

What was the last thing you achieved? Uhhh.

Would you enjoy being famous? I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be famous.

What’s under your bed? Some medical supplies.

Do you enjoy travelling? Yes.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? I was in a couple clubs in high school and the psych club in community college.

When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? It’s been a very long time.

Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? Hmm, I don’t recall. I might have.

Do you have a clock in your room? Yes, apart from the ones on my laptop, TV and phone, I have an actual wall clock as well.

Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? I didn’t take driver’s ed.

Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Hmm. Probably Toxic, Slave 4 U, Boys, and Lucky.

Does mind over matter work for you? Sometimes.

Are you paranoid? I definitely can be.

What is the best thing about winter? Christmastime and the weather. I love that time of year.

Have you ever been truly in love? I think so.

Are you currently planning a trip? No, I wish.

How many plants are in your home? Zero.

What is your favorite possession? All my stuff.

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? Yeah. I’ve been used and taken advantage of back in the day for being too nice.

What movies have tripped you out? There’s been a few.

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? No.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? I’d like to say no, but I allowed Joseph to use and play me for 3 years, so. I knew deep down he didn’t feel the same way as I did and he didn’t want to be in a committed relationship with me, but I didn’t want to admit it. I liked the attention and the good times we had and I didn’t want to give that up. I would hope that now that I’m older and have experienced that I wouldn’t allow it to happen again. And yes, I had a friend who put up with a whole lot worse for that reason.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that. I don’t want that floating around or existing at all out there.

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No.

What summertime treats do you love? Milkshakes and ice cream.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I mean, I have to be interested in the person and feel comfortable doing so.

What do you hate most about moving? The packing and unloading.

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? I wouldn’t know.

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? Just the Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Has anyone ever whistled at you? Not that I know of.

Do you like scarves? No. I don’t like things around my neck like that, it drives me nuts.

Is your father homophobic? No.

Do you take gummy vitamins? No. I don’t take vitamins at all, currently, although I really should.

Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? No.

Who would you like to meet before you die? I mean, I certainly wouldn’t mind meeting Alexander Skarsgard.

If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? I don’t feel comfortable being nude when I’m just by myself, I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so publicly. Absolutely not.

What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? There’s been a lot, but of course I’m blanking at the moment. Most are pretty crazy, though.

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die? I hope that  go to heaven.

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My loved ones. 

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? Ugh, seems like just about anything can. I’m so irritable and moody all the time.

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? Yeah, me.

Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I loved Decode and Super Massive Blackhole. 

How old was the first person you kissed? He was 15 and I was 16.

Will you be a strict parent one day? I don’t want to have kids.

Last person to stand up for you? I don’t recall the last time I needed to be stood up for.

Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, I’ve been to a few.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My mom and brother to see Candyman.

What’s your favorite high school memory? I liked the rallies and some of the assemblies.

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? Being single is best for me.

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? I don’t know. I’m such a scardy cat.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math.

Italian food or Chinese food? Italian.

Do you like to make flash cards when you study? That wasn’t my usual study method, no. I preferred taking notes.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Ha, uh no.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? I only watched those when they were shown in some of my college classes or was assigned to for homework. I’ve never watched any on my own.

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. I don’t feel that way about anyone.

What do you think about Marilyn Manson? I have nothing to say about him tbh. <<<

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? I didn’t get into trouble.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? No.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? I don’t care.

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Yeah, I got all 4.

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No.

Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loved jalapenos back when I could eat spicy food. Jalapeno poppers were bomb.

Did you ever play Minecraft? No.

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? Yeah.

Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Ha, yeah. 

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? I’m the victim of gun violence that made me a paraplegic at just 7 months old.

What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people and sick, perverted assholes.

If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? There’s a lot I’d like to change. 

Describe your first relationship? It wasn’t much of one but we had the title, ha. It also only lasted a few months.

Describe your last relationship? He used and played me and then kicked me to the curb when he was done.

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? I’m a virgin, but I absolutely would practice safe sex. That’s very important. 

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? You just really feel, connect, and relate to certain things, like the characters and/or plot line and it has some kind of effect on you.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? Hopefully something good.

Do you feel protective over someone? My loved ones.

What perfume/cologne do you wear? I’ve been wearing this beachy scented body spray. I need to get a new one for fall.

Where did your vehicle come from? I don’t have my own car, I don’t drive.

What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? I’m totally blanking.

What is your favorite way to eat chicken? Boneless chicken wings and chicken tenders.

It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: White with buttercream frosting.

What do you wear to bed? What I wear during the day, which is either lounge shorts or leggings and an oversized tee or t-shirt dress.

What were you doing at 8pm last night? I was eating dinner and watching Gilmore Girls.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #441

“all alone, he turns to stone while holding his breath after death  /  terrified of what’s inside, to save his life he crawls like a worm from a bird”

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yep, a few. What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? If I'm having a really bad day, I can tolerate as early as 7:00. :x What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Honey ham, probably. What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summer is disgusting. It's too hot, too humid, too many bugs, and I just hate it. Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? No, that sounds gross. What is your favorite color to wear? b l a c k Are you an overachiever? Oh, hunny. What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Maybe uhhhh big eyes. What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'hara) would you marry? Darkiplier bc he is merely a misunderstood soft boi. How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? Legs: It's been nearly a year. Pits: not that long, considering I shave them every time I get in the shower. What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else? I'm sure it would be something in one of the letters I sent Jason. Or Dad. Idk. Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? The phase never ended lmao. What is your favorite thing about your life? My loved ones. Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire? Sorry, but I'm picking the animals. Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? Yes. How many real bfs/gfs have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Yes. Except for when I was with Tyler. Name a comedy that you like. White Chicks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. What’s the best Nirvana song? I'm not sure, really... Maybe "Drain You?" What was the last thing that impressed you? No clue. When was the last time you were in a pet store? Several months ago when I went in to get more rats for Venus. What nationality is your last name? Irish. What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Plain, rippled Lays in French onion dip. Who was the last boy that you saw cry? I don't know, actually. It may have been Sara's dad, which was years ago. Does your mom know you do surveys? I mean no, it's not like it's come up in conversation. Have you ever had a serious injury? When I was a kid, there was this one time I was running down the road with my friend, and I tripped; I was a fast runner, so I skinned the everliving FUCK out of my knees to the point there was even pus. I was SOBBING, and it took weeks to heal; I had the scars for years. What was the last thing you achieved? Losing weight at the gymmmm. Staying dedicated to going. Would you enjoy being famous? No. I couldn't take all the eyes on me and even ONE person's negative judgment. What’s under your bed? A big box of my art supplies. Do you enjoy travelling? Yeah. I wish I could do it more. Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? No. When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? Not since I first tried it at elementary school. It was absolutely disgusting. Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? I doubt it. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? No. If I'd listened to him while driving, I could've gotten myself killed while merging onto the highway. People are assholes and didn't want to move over. Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Probably "Freakshow." Does mind over matter work for you? Not usually, no. Are you paranoid? Oh yes. What is the best thing about winter? Everything!!! Literally the only BAD thing about winter is the dry skin/lips. I love the cold, Christmas and all that comes with it, the decor, hot chocolate, snow, getting all cuddly... Everything. :') Have you ever been truly in love? Absolutely. Are you currently planning a trip? No. A trip to Illinois is just a wish right now. How many plants are in your home? None, I think? What is your favorite possession? Excluding my pets (because I don't like calling them "possessions"), probably my laptop. Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? I have before, yes. What movies have tripped you out? Off the top of my head, the only entertainment media in general that has ever truly "tripped me out" was the first time I played the Silent Hill game. The movie didn't affect me to that level because I already understood the concept. When I watched Jason play it for the first time, I was SO confused and just blown away by the concept that I did loads of research and just thinking about it all. That franchise is just cool as shit, okay. Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? I LOVED rollerblading. I haven't done it in years, though. Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? NO. I will NOT settle. Being genuinely in love with my partner is too important to me for me to ever do so. I don't know if any of my friends are in that situation. Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? With my current body? FUCK no. If I was happy with my body, the answer is still probably no. I'm too self-conscious and awkward with that kind of stuff, and besides, I really don't think I want a picture like that to exist of myself to avoid potential trouble. Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No. What summertime treats do you love? We have this local slushy place that is FUCKING BOMB. It may sound basic, but they have SUCH a vast variety of flavors and goodies you can top it with that it's truly just so amazing. How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am VERY picky. I have to be really interested in you. Save for how things were with Tyler... I just felt like I was supposed to. What do you hate most about moving? I. Hate. The process. Of moving. It is just so, so stressful to me. I have a very hard time confronting big tasks, and that's exactly what packing and unpacking entails. Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? Not necessarily. Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? No. Has anyone ever whistled at you? I don't think so. Do you like scarves? No. Is your father homophobic? Possibly. I don't actually know. I honestly don't think he took Sara's and my relationship seriously, so that may be a sign. Do you take gummy vitamins? The only vitamin I take now is vitamin D, which isn't a gummy. Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? Ha, yeah. I gave Jason a makeover once. Who would you like to meet before you die? MARK. I am so determined, alsdjfkaj;wek;rj. I just want to hug him and say thank you and ugly-cry. If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? No. Even if I had the body of a model. What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The fuckin' flat earth theory, probably. If Heaven and Hell exists, where you going when you die? Well, considering I have an, uh, very negative opinion of the Christian god... Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My mom. The day she passes is a day I am inexplicably horrified of. What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? My life. If there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? My mom really could use it. Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I love "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse, but idk if it was actually written for the movie. How old was the first person you kissed? He was 18 when we first kissed. Will you be a strict parent one day? I never want to be a parent. If I hypothetically became one, I don't think I'd be strict, necessarily, but very protective. Last person to stand up for you? Probably Mom, idk. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, a few. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My dad. What’s your favorite high school memory? Just... a lot with Jason. Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? I prefer being in a (healthy) relationship, but I won't get into one just for the sake of having one. What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? Hmmm... scuba-dive, maybe? What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math. Italian food or Chinese food? Italian. I don't really like (most) Chinese food. Do you like to make flash cards when you study? I rarely did that. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Yes, somehow. Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No. I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. Ashley. What do you think about Marilyn Manson? He's one of my favorite musical artists, but he's a disgusting dick personally. Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? Nothing, really. I was a very well-behaved kid. Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? Yeah, I have a Canon. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? No. Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Not every year, but most. Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No. Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loooove them. Did you ever play Minecraft? Nah. My niece is getting into it. Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I did have one. I wasn't one of those premium members or anything like that; I just had a basic account. Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Bitch me. It's extremely embarrassing. I 100% got it from my dad. What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? The manner through which Jason broke up with me. It left me traumatized. What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people that think only they matter and have no consideration for how their actions affect other people. If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? I'd lose a shitload of weight, for one. My teeth would be whiter, my eyes bigger and bluer, I'd want my hair colored/able to hold color far better, I'd lighten and lessen my body hair, make my skin clearer, thin my eyebrows... I'd change a lot. What are your feelings on feminism? MANDATORY. Absolutely necessary in a misogynistic society. However, I do believe some people take it way too far to a point it is anti-man and puts women on a holy pedestal. It is about equality. Describe your first relationship? Perfect, until it wasn't. Describe your last relationship? Wonderful and healthy, but distance and our health were issues at the time. Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? My history with sex is confusing and complicated and I really don't know. Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? Thinking about it... it's probably because of how Simba runs from his problems and bad memories, but returns to confront them and is victorious. That's how I want to be. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I'm nice and clearly sincerely cared about them and their feelings. Do you feel protective over someone? My sisters, nieces and nephews, Sara... What perfume/cologne do you wear? It's called "Blush." Where did your vehicle come from? I don't have my own, but Mom's came from a girl at the dance studio. She ran into a deer, and the front got fucked up, but the sweetheart paid to fix it up to being operable so Mom had her own car. The front bumper is kept intact with zip ties and duct tape, but hey... it works and has for many, many years now, lol. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? Ummmm... I actually don't remember. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? As tenders, probably. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: Red velvet. This year for my bday, our controlling-as-fuck family friend bought me my birthday cake without consulting ANYBODY, and I was so fucking annoyed. It was a very kind gesture, yes, but um, can I have a say, please? What do you wear to bed? Usually men's pj pants and a tank top. What were you doing at 8pm last night? Sleeping, actually. I was extremely tired and went to bed early.

[gothamstreetcat]

Please share your thoughts based of the bingo cards below because I wanna know 👀

i am absolutely going to be talking about all things controversial below the cut: ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃ ᶠᵃⁿ ᵒᶠ ᵇᵃʳᵇᵃʳᵃ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗᵃᵇᶦᵗʰᵃ 

season one

there isn't much I think is super controversial in season one, but I will definitely be talking about selina, the batcat kiss, and the overall season itself

on selina i have to say i was a little nervous before the show aired. it’s silly but also understandable for me because i always find myself getting nervous whenever someone new takes on a character I love. but honestly, i think camren is the best selina kyle we could have asked for. there is just always something about each catwoman/selina kyle i didn’t like, but with camren i think we get the most true and genuine portrayal because gotham shows her childhood—a obviously important part to selina’s character. it’s a side of her we never get to see much of in the comics or in films, and i just find it a very important part to her character. 

sometimes I think people are too drawn into making selina something more (holy tim burton, batman! she’s got cat powers!). and I hate to throw tim  under the bus with this, but over time the whole cat powers thing really pissed me off because part of what I loved about selina was how she was a regular person. she didn’t need cat powers to be great or special. it also kinda makes me sad when people compare cam’s selina so much to pfeiffer’s because a. camren is her own selina and shouldn’t be put under that kind of pressure and b. I really can’t see someone as tough as camren’s selina becoming some old man’s assistant with “corndogs” as a (cat)chprase(?) 

i know it’s silly, but another thing about cam’s selina is how much i just love her. i just grew up wanting to be her and be like her. i wanted to be hardened by city streets and i know it’s dumb but i don’t think i have to explain why i feel such a strong way about her. we all have our favorite characters. **more of this hot mess in the tags

moving into the batcat kiss i was initially really uncomfortable and disappointed with it. david and cam were young at the time, therefore, so were bruce and selina, and i just honestly feel like it was too soon. however, i know in an interview they talked about it and were okay with it—cam saying how she was able to separate herself from the character—so I have grown to be more tolerant of it (is it dumb to say i was a little embarrassed for them because that’s how i would feel if it was me?) i am also not innocent because i did make a gifset of the kiss but it was also paired with selina asking for bruce’s consent, and i only made it because i liked the parallels (queue a young me making gifs on makeagif.com) Now, I will highly advocate for that gifset because to me it really shows how much selina went to get bruce’s ‘okay’ before she kissed him. i feel as though we are always advocating so much when it comes to a woman’s consent but never when it is a man’s and both are equally as important but we’ll get into that later in this post. 

another thing i want to add, is how i’d like to believe i have some idea as to why they did the kiss in the first place. i want to believe it had something to do with the trauma of the day, or the fact that bruce is a boy who showed selina genuine kindness when she is clearly someone who has gone without. god forbid it only to be seen as ‘cute’ but perhaps, because selina wanted to know what it felt like to be touched in that sort of way. by someone like Bruce (who was innocent and had never been kissed) maybe it was some sort of way to thank him or a parting gift, to which i’m sure people would say that’s wrong but i feel with selina’s background it makes sense. as if it was a way for bruce to remember her by. now, i personally wouldn’t know what any of that feels like so maybe that throws all my credibility out the window but these are just my ideas.

the season overall i hold onto dear, i know we all have our favorites and this isn’t controversial, but you can’t beat the first. sometimes, i do feel like shows lose their way and loose that little spark when they first got started. and to be honest, i did feel that a little with gotham. not only that (and i’ve said this before so i’m sorry if i’m a broken record) but with gotham it gaves us these characters we are so used to seeing a certain way. the show took these seeming monsters and turned them human and we as watchers related to them. edward nygma was a nerd working at the gcpd. oswald was a guy holding an umbrella, turned dishwasher who then became the king of gotham. poison ivy was just a kid. everything was so new and fresh and exciting. so yeah, i think that’s a wrap on season one

season two

the only thing i am really going to talk about from this season was ‘babitha.’ again, i am sorry for anyone who follows me, is reading this and is a fan of them but in all seriousness: their relationship was toxic as hell. first off, i really didn’t like barbara nor tabitha before hand. barbara always felt whiny and needy while tabitha was played like some ditzy woman for her brother. together they were highly annoying, and i almost hate say that because independently tabitha was a really strong character. i still didn’t like her but i see and appreciate her without her brother. 

going into that i really think there where times barbara dragged her down. times where barbara was unstable, power-hungry and it just seemed like tabitha was not enough unless she had more. barbara also didn’t seem to like the idea that butch had a special place in tabitha’s heart (and then later killed him). i mean this is a funny way, but barbara can come off like that kid who was never told ‘no’ in her life.

not to mention when tabitha died and barbara went and fucked jim for the sake it of, i guess. i know everyone grieves differently and holy batgirl, batman! but it doesn’t seem right.

i wish i had more to say on them with better examples, but i honestly have way more to say regarding the sirens so i’m gonna let you read that instead.

honorable mentions include: bridgit pike deserving better because that girl could never catch a break. and the true ending of herself and karen jennings meeting, falling in love, and leaving gotham together. it honestly makes me sad i made up this ship and it feels like i’m the only one keeping it afloat. 

season three

again, i have my issues regarding the siren’s team up, so i was unhappy when they decided to make tabitha galavan selina’s mentor. i personally would not want to pair someone as vulnerable as selina with someone who physically and mentally abused her, but okay gotham. so that is where my ted grant comment came in, i assume you’ve read the comics and know that ted was one of the few who originally trained selina before becoming catwoman. therefore, i was disappointed they didn’t use him as i find him a better canidate for a mentor but also such an important person in her story. he would have been a great addition to the show. 

of course my first honorable mention must go to the batman returns scene because you’re only hip if piggy-back off of tim burton. as i mentioned above i don’t like how much cam’s selina is compared to pfieffer’s. i don’t understand why they had to re-create something i already think is over hyped when gotham is already a great show on it’s own, it would have been redeeming if they had not done the ‘cat power’ thing in season five but thankfully they didn’t really use it.it really pisses me off how much they really tried to make that scene frame for frame. 

my second honorable mention is going to be given to selina not knowing five was bruce because of his scars & alfred and maria respectively. i could talk a lot about why i love maria and alfred--i understand why people don’t like her and they’re right to do so, however, i do think they are right for one another. they both have jaded pasts, and yeah, the show was teasing love-interests for alfred a here and there but how can you not be happy for him when he saw selina’s mom? i think people should be redeemed and i honestly think maria was at least changed by her time at wayne manor and if you want i wrote a fic about alfred and maria but it’s totally bad writing wise so don’t read it. also. i’m sorry it’s dirty and i couldn’t go through with it. it’s kinda bad

as for selina and five i think there is something imamate about selina knowing bruce’s scars (not gonna lie,i was honestly going to talk about this but i’m too tired and don’t think i have anything meaningful to have)

season four

this is probably going to be the hardest season for me to talk about. and the only two things i’m going to cover are the toxic manipulation and abuse between the sirens team-up, as well as the sexual abuse bruce endured.

on the sirens i just wanna say i hopefully plan in the future to make a master-post involving this trio. i want to be as clear as possible and include the episodes but in case i don’t i’m just going to try my best. keep in mind i made this post regarding this topic a long time ago if you want the quick version. if you do check it out it’s been a while since i read it so it is probably messy and ugly. i also want to point out i’m going to try and talk about how much of the adults in selina’s life failed her. barbara and tabitha hit this mark pretty hard since at least barbara was there in the beginning stages of her life, and the trio themselves were made to appear as some sort of strong power-house.

i get on a surface level why fans like the barabra/tabitha + selina team-up (because girl power i guess), but i honestly can’t get over the abuse selina endured to even get to the point of being in a group. much of their relationship seemed more about tabitha and barbara loving to have her rather then love her, period. there were times during their involvement that it was clear selina was not an equal, and times where being with them made selina weaker (speaking about when she called upon them for help in that one episode where she was trapped, yet you’re telling me this is the same girl who took out that guy’s eyes from season one?) several times, selina appeared to be talked down to and treated as though she couldn’t handle tasks, yet has been homeless her whole life and has broken in and out of prison. 

the interaction between barbara and selina from season one haunts me a great deal for the way barbara spoke to selina and was objectifying her. i made a long-post/ask about it here which i encourage you to look at. this is particularly hard for me to talk about for the simple fact of selina being a child of the streets and barbara speaking to her like she’s trying to pimp her out *for lack of a better way of saying it* i just don’t think this is something an adult should be saying to selina because the truth is that barabara is the adult and should do better. her and tabitha even dressed her up for that club commercial (in which selina was clearly unhappy) and had her running a club full of underage kids developing a drinking problem and one very small boy being taken advantage of. 

people hate it when alfred slapped selina but when tabitha punched selina unconscious and kidnaped her for barbara it’s no big deal

and the episode “to our deaths and beyond” hits deepest and is a clean sign of manipulation when they both tricked selina into bringing bruce so they could mutilate him for his blood. even when he was crying and panicking barbara help him down and tabitha held selina back from helping him. 

here is a gifset about the scene and *lex i’m sorry for using your set if you happen to see this (but please don’t see this because i don’t wanna make anyone feel bad and i just want to speak freely about what i believe) 

again, not treating selina with respect, and when she straight told them she would have not brought bruce BECAUSE HE IS HER FRIEND, tabitha got defense and questioned her loyalty. first off, you are an adult and should know how to act better. she knew selina wouldn’t have brought bruce otherwise because they knew what they were doing was wrong. they knew how much bruce meant to selina and for them to try to guilt her is awful in itself. tricking and manipulating bruce is awful. mutilating him is awful. and holding selina back from helping her friend after you lied to her is awful--this is honestly one of the most sickening things for me to watch *not to mention why you would not want selina to be friends with bruce when he’s clearly a great guy* (but the gifset is pretty no question. shout-out to lex for being so talented)

in addition to this, the entire selina getting shot storyline is right up there too. i understand the writer’s didn’t have enough time to flesh everything out but it wasn’t even mentioned once that barbara and tabitha went to visit her. i believe tabitha might have mentioned it but it was only to get revenge over jeremiah, but they never visited her or checked on her, and she tried to kill herself and still nothing. 

now, i’m not trying to be all biased for bruce wayne because he was there for her every singe day and never left her side. nor would i ever mention that idea of bruce physically helping selina care for her own body when she couldn’t. how he got her that medicine to heal her pain and held her while she screamed that she wanted to die. all the while doing everything he could to help her not feel that way again.

you can say a lot of things about bruce wayne. people love to talk shit about him. but at the end of the day you can never say he was a bad friend, because he was the best. and you can’t say that for barbara and tabitha (not only to add how all the abuse was never brought up nor apologized for)

now, onto something that i am a big advocate for and particularly boils my blood. bruce’s alcohol problem and constant physical abuse by the adults in the show. 

i am mainly speaking about ivy (peyton list) however, while reading a reddit thread someone said that grace’s actress as twenty-one years of age, also kissing david (who i believe was sixteen at the time). someone else, also said that it wasn’t really illegal but i honestly do not care. if the roles were reversed and it was a young girl vs an older man, people would be in outrage and i don’t think that should change be it david.

the scene with peyton particularly bothers me because she is substantially older, and while you could argue it might not be david based off how the scene was shot, i highly doubt it. it’s wrong no matter how you slice it and it particularly bothers me because the abuse surrounding men/boys is taken so lightly. i’m not trying to put presidency over female abuse, as i believe both are equal in how awful they are, but there is evidence behind males being mocked. something that is at a higher volume, and it makes me wonder the number of rapes that go unreported or those who can’t talk about it because they won’t be believed. i’ve already seen it but i would be lying if i said i wasn’t worried for david to be conditioned to think what happened to him was fun or cool.

on top of all the kissing in the club scene followed by waking up in bed with the two girls--i would not hesitate to think he was taken advantage of in some way. i also can’t even think of his drinking days and not think of all the people who potentially abused him.

i obviously can’t speak for david and perhaps i’m grasping at straws but this is something that bother me and no one talks about enough.

season five

nothing to add here except while i did miss cam in the final and it wasn’t complete without here, i very much respect her for her choice to walk away. i think it shows a high level of intelligence and integrity (something i wish i had). and i most admire her for passing on the torch when she felt she wasn’t ready, which i think speaks volumes of her and her character. again, selina one selina will always be my favorite so i love the idea of my favorite staying a young girl before she was ready. i don’t think the show was ready. and as much as i would have loved for her to have a cameo like david did, it isn’t here or there and she said she favorite scene was on the staircase. so as far as i’m concerned, that’s the best place to leave on (even though that wasn’t the last scene but we’re ignoring that)

i hope this wasn’t too wordy or long!

[adecila]

Game of Thrones – 8x04 “The Last of the Starks” episode analysis – or who the fuck ever let D&D write stuff

You know I am pretty much like this dude here –

so I will be the woman to lead this ship or so help me all the old gods and the new.

Spoilers, d’uhh.

Aftermath - but everyone has their wardrobe on fleek, hair looking fab and they even had time to clean the entire field of Winterfell

The episode starts with the funeral pyre and how DARE you make me love Jorah even more and twist the knife in my heart. And did you have to show me Theon, Beric, Edd’s and Lyanna’s bodies??? 

RUDE.

Jon is doing a big speech and it is nice and drove the sobbing further, but I get it this is Jon’s turf so he has to be the one making the big speech. That is such a Dany thing though, and I can’t help to think, when put into perspective with the rest of the episode, that it’s yet again a thing Dany has lost. But more on that later. 

The pyres are lit, sad music, more sobbing from me. OOOPS BUT DID YOU CATCH THAT JONERYS EXCHANGE OF LOOKS? Because I did! I can’t help but think how he looks at her for reassurance and she feels it and she turns and she is just.so.broken. And then she cries and I cry again. 

A feast for crows the survivors 

And then we get a feast and suddenly everyone is happy and stuff… ok, I guess life goes on. Maybe Sandor’s crass remark, under the guise of a funny moment, was meant to make us think on it. But maybe that’s too deep for D&D who the fuck knows. 

Let’s talk about Gendry’s legitimisation. 

Dany does it quite publicly, and small exchange between her and Tyrion makes sense. Honestly, if she hadn’t done it herself then and there, it would have come up at a later point, but with 2 episodes left there’s no time. S.ansa does her shady looks because she throws shade and Bran just stares into the void smh. 

In which I am the Hound unimpressed and eating his chicken. 

Davos x Tyrion

The Lord of Light fucked off into the sunset when he saw D&D’s piss poor writing and honestly same. He probably fucked off when he saw Melisandre was still getting his prophecies wrong. 

Every time S.ansa comes into frame my soul leaves my body a bit more because whY THO. 

Tyrion x Bran the 3ER

Cool beans Bran, that’s how you use you abilities? OMG JOJEN FUCKING DIED FOR YOU–

“I mostly live in the past now” - to me this means Bran has become this empty shell of a man and he just visits the past and checks out cool shit. It’s like a kid who gets access to YouTube for the first time. Heck he can even see his dad or whoever else he misses if he feels anything at all now. Because if he doesn’t even have “wants” then? What was the point of it all? God I swear the writers will not rest until they will have reduced all characters to tropes and empty shells of their former selves.

Tormund and the gang around Jon; Tyrion with Jaime ; Dany alone

This scene right here was the beginning of the end. Remember when Tormund was a dude who was in awe by strong women? D&D don’t. He suddenly is so far up Jon’s ass nothing could take him out. Guess it pays off for him in the end since Jon just gifts him Ghost.

S.ansa just fucking stop OMG PLEASE STOP WITH THE FUCKING LOOKS JFC.

But where was Missandei??? Why was Dany alone? And what the fuck was that look, VArYs?? Someone give Dany a hug because my god the isolation is real. Fuck. STOP. TAKING. EVERYTHING. FROM HER.

Never have I ever… thought the writers would stoop so low but here we are

So it’s all fun and games until it isn’t. 

Poor Tormund. Jaime never deserved Brienne and that’s a fact. 

And the mystery of Willa, the sassy Northern girl has been solved! Bless!!!

SanSan, but with more misogynistic undertones than you ever thought

Yeah you know what, I am not touching this scene. Fuck D&D for daring to say that.

Gendrya - or the moment Gendry decided to pull a Ted Mosby 

I feel so bad OMG they did this ship so dirty. However. Arya saying that was expected. But I call bullshit on her never rethinking her decision. Girl’s got a list and she just can’t NOT try to finish it, I mean, wouldn’t you? After you killed such a big boss as the NK? 

At the same time, they would be trying for faux feminism, pulling a Arya doesn’t need a man to be happy. Guess the sex was just to try it? Wow can you believe they cheapened this ship and that beautiful moment like that? 

I’m so sorry babies, you deserved much better. Guess Gendry was always meant to have his heart broken by a Stark girl once he became a Baratheon. Wow. 

Weirdly enough!!! And spoiler maybe?? Leak? Idk. But I feel like Gendrya will prevail (also because she looks heartbroken to reject him like that…). When asked if Gendrya will rule the 7K, Friki said no, these two aren’t made for ruling anything. For what’s worth, Friki mentioned he does know Arya’s endgame and shebis confirmed alive in the Dragon Pit in 8x06 :)

Oathsex

Uff yeah I did not like that. It felt wrong in the context and it felt cheap and I…. yeah IDK. And then Jaime leaves. He could have at least told Brienne that he is he only one who can kill Cersei or IDK, but not leave her like that. Jeesh dude my poor Knight, she is gutted by him. 

Jonerys makeout and chat and hey who wanted angst? Turn on your location I just wanna chat. 

Sooo flip side: I somehow, for the second time, predicted a thing in my fic. HOWEVER D&D keep only getting half my fics because GURL DID YOU NOT GET THE SMUT MEMO? AND THE FLUFF MEMO?

So Dany goes to find Jon, again, who is tipsy, and Jon suddenly remembers to give Dany some comfort for having lost Jorah… 

The set up for Dany saying ILY it’s a bit .. ehh. But her actual words: “He loved me, but I couldn’t love him back, not the way he wanted it. Not the way I love you. Is that alright?” 

A+ scene. I love how he can’t help himself and as soon as she is in his arms’ range he just pulls her into him, BEFORE she asks “Is that alright?”. 

Uff emo side note here, this scene and this phrase reminded me of this song. Listen and sob. you’re welcome.

On that depressive note, wow that make out tho. Two things I learned from this scene: 1 - Jon is horny drunk, which same; and 2 - Jon is a tiddies guy like he dove in and went for the tiddies, which also same. Am I Jon? Is this why I keep guessing his fucking reactions but D&D won’t give me the rest????? We’ll never know.

And… then Jon stops and pulls back. And I KNOW that in the BTS we are told he is disgusted or whatever along those lines, but to me?? That look means he is CONFLICTED. And listen, if y’all wanted it to make it to mean "disgusted" then you should have made Kit do it differently since YOU KNOW HE WAS FAKE GAGGING TO EMILIA EVERY OTHER MINUTE. YOU CAN’T KEEP ADDING SHIT LATER YOU FUCKING DUMBASSES YOU EITHER PUT IT IN THE ACTUAL  SHOW AND THE ACTUAL ACTING OR STFU.

But I guess to me that rejection was more for the general audience than for us. C’mon he clearly loves her, his dick was so hard he was about to nut then and there. Stop bringing your 21st century considerations into a feudalistic fantasy where you have Royals and dragons. Also FUCK YOU VARYS BECAUSE EVEN IN THE NORTH AUNT AND NEPHEW MARRIED SO FUCK YOU BALDIE.

I digress. Then Dany echoes what Jon himself thinks/said - wishing she would have never known. And then we get something that I felt when she was alone and sad at the feast. “I saw the way they looked at you. I know that look; the same way people looked at me, but never on this side of the sea” - yeah so I need a break.

This here - cemented for me what I think the show is doing: stripping everything away from Dany: her armies, her children, her people and the love her people have for her… then Jon. And I don’t mean that as in the sense of some bullshit fleak. No, I mean it in the context of this episode. Because Jon never says I love you back (and maybe @normalisjustafairytale is right and Jon is afraid to say it after Ygritte), and he rejects her, and he says he can’t NOT tell his sisters, even if Dany begs him not to. So in a sense, for now at least, Jon is being taken away from her. So you have all this isolation and losing and losing and then what does she have left? The only constant in her life? The fucking Iron Throne. Because at the moment there is nothing else for her and she probably feels like she will be nothing without it. Hence why she presses to go and take Cersei down. I won’t lie to you, it is cheap writing and very lame and honestly I have read fics a million times better than this bullshit, but they will, at one point, hit us with the boatie reveal, and when that happens, and when Jon fucking finally pulls through and stands by her side, she will have something else, a different constant in life. Moreover, because she realises that the people here in Westeros will never love her, she will have even more of a reason to bow out, say a big fuck you, take her boatie and her hubs and get to her house with the red door. 

This is not just wishful thinking, it is very much D&D, and they will of course “humble the powerful woman” (I puked in my mouth by writing that). But also, my consolation is that with this episode, heck even the people who weren’t necessarily her fans, are on her side and asking her to burn KL down. Which I don’t think she would, but more on that in a different post. God this post is already long.

*bathroom break*

BAck. Then Dany echoes what I also said in my fic ugh I hate myself what we all know and are thinking: it doesn’t matter if Jon doesn’t want it; it matter that there are people out there (fucking S.ansa jfc this fucking UGGHDGugduzdahidfg) who don’t like Dany and will support Jon immediately over her. She is right and he is stupid for not seeing it. 

I guess I also got my bending the knee from my fic. Kinda. FUCK.ME.

I cannot believe that my Queen had to BEG him and Jon had to be so naive. BOY DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE LESSON FROM YOUR FATHER? Two can keep a secret is one of them is dead, Jonno. Did you not watch Pretty Little Liars??? Why the fuck do you think Ned Stark didn’t tell his wife?? LMAO she would have sold him just like S.asnsa blabbed on you, guess the J___sas were right, it was a bit of a Ned x Cat parallel, probably Cat would have sold Ned also in a fucking instant. Dany is absolutely right. This shit cannot be contained because you don’t know how people would react to it. 

“She’s not the girl you grew up with” … BOOM.

I love how he cradles her face into his hands MY FUCKING HEART MY HEART.

Pause. The part where she begs remind me of this traumatic moment:

… fuuuuck. Anyway.

And I love how she turns the tables on him. But Jon… is still Jon for plot reasons I guess. Maybe he didn’t understand why Ned had to keep the secret for so many years. 

The end of the Northern plot - BYE NO ONE WILL MISS YOU

The Starks can choke. They are cancelled. 

Yeah no. Bye. Fuck S.ansa or Sandra, who the fuck this OOC shitty ass character is. Fuck every single one of them. Wow, emotional manipulation at its finest. I just love how they basically called this episode the last of the Starks because they just character assassinated all of them. Edit: LMAO you know what this is? The shitty family that pulls over one member and tries to break him up with his wife, for the sole reason they don't like her. Because fuck their brother's happiness. Because they are fucking selfish people.  

Jaime x Tyrion x my headache

Let’s add to the list of cancelled people Jaime and Tyrion just for that fucking chat.

“I will pay you double” ex machina, and that’s how the Bronn issue is solved. Just as Friki said, btw. 

Arya x The Hound

So I guess Arya just fucking lies through her teeth now smh, since she was guilt trippig JON JUST MOMENTS AGO and she just up and leaves BECAUSE FUCK FAMILY I GUESS 

Tyrion is suddenly afraid of Dany so I guess we are supposed to excuse Sandra’s petty shady jealous ass 

Sandra is fucking jealous and insane. Littlefinger will be proud. Her face though. This fucking bitch doesn’t like that he is a Targaryen LMFAO she is scheming so hard bahahahahah

She is fucking cancelled. They murdered her character the moment they took her out of the Vale. FIGHT ME ON THIS I FUCKING DARE YOU.

Jon x Tormund x Ghost - say your goodbyes

Hey hey hey so that line where Jon belongs in the North? The real North, which for Tormund is North of the Wall since he calls Winterfell the South? Guess where those waterfalls from 8x01 are?

Jon is the worst dog owner KILL ME.

Fucking Sam Tarly

Jon was like yeah no don’t name your kid after me. Interesting how he could tell from a hug that Gilly was pregnant. Hope Dany starts showing soon *wink wink boatie is still coming*

The IT or Southern plot

Tyrion x Varys

I cannot wait for Varys to die. Like, he is spewing inaccurate information and then, he is suddenly against Dany and suddenly only Jon is a war hero. Just because he has a dick. Fuck D&D and their sexist asses Also VArys keeps talking about the realm LMAO YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE? I see kings dying all around you, and the only constant it’s you. Who is the problem, I wonder? 

Euron ex machina

Makes no fucking sense. But I guess nobody cares anymore.

Yeah I screamed when Rhaegal died. And I screamed again with Dany.

I guess Dany couldn’t just fly behind Euron’s ship and roast them all for plot reasons. 

Dragonstone mess

Fuck you, Varys. And fuck you, Tyrion. Not you, Greyworm, ILY *hugs tightly*

BONUS: FUCK YOU JAIME FUUUUUCK YOU FOR LEAVING BRIENNE LIKE THAT. BYE BITCH GOOD RIDDANCE.

King’s Landing mess & the shitty ass parley that even Captain Sparrow could have organised better

Ew how much time has it passed since Cersei is already claiming to be preggers? 

“So much for the breaker of chains” - is again, a sign they are trying to strip Dany of everything she has and is. 

Tyrion and Qyburn - ew, but also Qyburn has a point, why would Cersei surrender? Oh and I think the point to save Rhaegal from the NK only for him to die at the hands of Euron is to further handicap Dany and make the Cersei threat real, and have a reason to keep Drogon away from KL - HAVE YOU ALL SEEN THE SCORPIONS EVERYWHERE?

Ugh Tyrion stop trying to get Cersei to love you LMFAO she doesn’t. But I know, it is hard to break from toxic relationships and abusers. Tyrion told Cersei “you are not a monster” and she literally went “HOLD MY BEER”.

Missandei’s death made me sick to my stomach and traumatised me for life. We should all collectively agree to NEVER give D&D our attention again and never let them write anything again. 

Missandei hatefully spewing DRACARYS as her last words was so strong it made me start crying because holy shit this was a peaceful person, and for her to show this much hate and rage was so gutting…  fuck me. I am crying again. I think she also meant, besides from the obvious, “there is no reasoning with these people, so why bother. Might as well blow it the fuck up.”

And Grey’s reaction wow - again, I was about to puke, despite the scene not being the most gorey on GoT, but it was so intrinsically and viscerally wrong my mind could not deal. 

In conclusion

Poor Dany, she has lost everything. EVERYTHING. She is literally at her lowest. After the discussion with Jon, she slipped back the Queen mask - like you can pinpoint the moment she does so! And she keeps it on in front of everyone else but her dragons.

I am expecting a very very cold (but very fragile inside) Dany in 8x05. I am expecting her to push Jon away. Oh and at the ending of 8x04 she totally just gets up on Drogon and goes back to Dragonstone. No way she does anything yet so soon.

I haven’t watched any of the BTS and Making of videos, nor have I watched the 8x05 promo. Will do soon.

Stay strong, jonerys is still going strong. I am here until the very end and I still think this will end with jonerys together. Will it be good writing? Nope. But it will end well. As I keep saying. We’re missing the “sweet” in this fucking “bittersweet” shit show. Stop saying it ends badly because of 8x03.

If you need me, you know where to find me. Image of me in the fandom. Except I charge nothing.

Oh and PS: FUCK D&D.

[a-winged-dreamer]

Game of Thrones Rant S8

*surprise surprise there’s spoilers below*

Alrighty everyone let’s talk about tonight’s bullshit episode 👏🏻

I’m feeling like a numbered list suites tonight best so we can keep track of all the fuck ups (that I can remember cause there’s bound to be more than what I noticed).

[1] Varys died-We all saw this coming because the Red woman mentioned that neither of them would live but damn I did not expect Dani to use the infamous ‘death by Drogon’. Tyrion...their friendship made him being honest with Dani about the betrayal feel so wrong. Varys trusted Tyrion with his honest opinion since the two had grown so damn close and he just died in a snap after calling Tyrion an “old friend” and all he got was a weak ass arm hold and no words???? Granted Tyrion was on thin ice but cmon, that friendship deserved more.

[2] Jaime and (I refuse to say his name) horny fish man fight and JAIME gets THAT injured?!?! Fish man is meant for the sea, and while he is at least a decent fighter and Jaime has to use his non-dominant hand they didn’t give Jaime a whole lot of credit for his skills there. Fish man made it look way too easy to beat Jaime who fought WHITE WALKERS and lived to tell the story about it. But fish man managed to nearly kill him...doesn’t add up to me.

[3] Dani Dani Dani, D&D did you so dirty. First off there’s no way her ONE dragon managed to do all that damage NO INJURIES while the last one was killed so easily by the spears. That was so far fetched. No consistency there. But they finally showed the real ass Dani has gone Mad Queen card. I think a lot of us thought she’d murder innocents but hoped she wouldn’t and if she did then she wouldn’t to the extent she did. The Queen we came to love went against her own character ideals. She killed innocent people, which she always wished to protect, instead of just going straight for the castle where Cersie would be. Dani would NEVER, especially with the spear threat gone, there was literally no reason to kill all those people and put her own troops at risk. She’s going through grief and anger but I still stand by the belief that her character wouldn’t do that and it was purely done for shock value &/or plot convenience. Yes Dani has made questionable moves and had a hard time but NOTHING justifies how off color her character was in this episode.

[4] They really made Sandors brother THAT invincible :/ I figured the fight would end in a mutual death but I’d hoped they’d be more evenly matched and it wasn’t even close. Sandor did not get the revenge he fucking deserved and I’m pissed he had to jump into FIRE of all things just to kill his brother. The knife to the head should’ve done SOMETHING at least. You can’t make someone that OP 🤦‍♀️ But I’m so glad he convinced Arya to leave, the only good thing tbh cause he’s the only one who could even hope to talk her out of it. It’s kinda like he knew he could get her to leave but wanted her to be with him until his end.

[5] Jaime’s character development was flushed down the 🚽. I really hate that he went back for Cersie and they alluded to them dying together getting crushed by rocks. There was speculation that Jaime would possibly kill or help kill Cersie and that he left Brienne the shitty way he did to make sure she didn’t follow while he went to kill the queen but NOPE! The ship got to fuck and then he broke Brienne’s heart to go back to the woman he finally got to detach himself from. IT MAKES NO SENSE! Brienne brought out the best in him, Cersie brought out the worst. He acted like he’d moved on and I’m just so mad they made him default back to a version of his old self. All that hard work on his arc for nothing just like Dani.

[6] Jon, my son, you’re smarter than this. I know he’s blinded by love and by the fear of being king but seriously how could he not try to stand up to Dani before things went to shit. He’s been a puppet who can only mutter “she’s my queen” and in regards to the throne “I don’t want it”. At the end of the episode you can tell he’s changing his mind about Dani (how tf could he not at that point) but it’s crazy to me that he couldn’t face it before seeing the massive consequences.

[7] They really let all the non-white people go head first into battle AGAIN! Again I repeat. Both against the white walkers and Cersie all the white folk went in comfortably after the characters of color and were painted in a more calm state of mind (minus the unsullied because..well..they’re always ‘calm’). Writers..we aren’t gonna let that slide 🙃 especially since the Dothraki were the ones seen on horseback murdering innocents running around and raping people, meanwhile Grey Worm is depicted as leading the charge against the soldiers who surrendered cause they knew they lost. MAKING EVERYONE WHO ISNT WHITE AN ASSHOLE. Then they show Jon (who, if you didn’t know-is a white male) stabbing a soldier and saving a woman from being raped (no one else is shown doing this, just the goody two shoes white boy-Who yes I know he has a golden heart and his character WOULD do that but it would’ve been nice to see OTHER people saying Fuck This to Dani’s rampage since it was clearly insane and wrong).

And thats it folks, this has been my TED talk. I’m POSITIVE I missed some shit and I’ll be mad about it later but peace out for now, I’m gonna go be upset in a corner somewhere rewriting GoT in a fanfic doing all the characters and their arcs justice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[survey--s]

212.

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about?   I’m more than happy to go to sleep at 7pm if I’m tired enough, haha. I was fast asleep by 9.30pm last night and slept for ten hours so clearly I needed it.

What time of the year do you dislike the most?   January/February - it’s grey, cold, wet and windy and nothing fun happens.

What is your favorite color to wear?   Black, grey, burgundy, purple and teal.

Are you an overachiever?   Not as an adult, but I was when I was younger and it destroyed my mental health.

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)?   Straight hair and perfect vision please and thank you.

How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)?   When I was severely depressed, months - but nowadays I do my underarms and private bits every day, and my legs maybe once a week or so - they don’t need doing anywhere near as often as they used to.

What is your favorite thing about your life?   Being an adult and not having to “answer” to anyone else, really.

Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire?   It depends on the person, I suppose.

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody?   Yeah, when we had to do stuff like that in art class.

Did you enjoy your past relationships?   Sure, otherwise I wouldn’t have been in them.

When was the last time you were in a pet store?   Maybe six months ago? I tend to get all our stuff online as it’s significantly cheaper than it is in store, and with four animals I need to save money where we can, hahah.

Who was the last boy that you saw cry?   Mike when his dad was taken to hospital with blood clots.

Does your mom know you do surveys?   Nope.

Are you currently planning a trip?   Not at the moment but I hope we can manage to go away somewhere in August, even if it’s just for a few days.

How many plants are in your home?   Zero - we have cats and so many plants are toxic to them that it’s just not worth the risk, especially as Toby is still so young and like to climb everything and chew, lol.

What movies have tripped you out?   Inception is the one that stands out to me.

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade?   I used to go loads, but then my parents’ car was broken into on their drive and my rollerblades were stolen out of the boot lol. I never got another pair but I don’t really remember why.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating?   No, just because I don’t trust where they’d end up. 

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep?   I don’t use anything to help me sleep. Being aware that I’ve put something on just distracts me and does the opposite of helping me fall asleep, if that makes sense.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss?   I mean, the only person I want to kiss is my husband.

Has anyone ever whistled at you?   Yeah.

Do you like scarves?   I love the idea of them and I love how they look, but they make me all hot and sweaty and I end up feeling a bit suffocated.

Is your father homophobic?   Not in the slightest.

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die?   I would like to think heaven - I don’t think I’ve done anything awful in my life.

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else?   My husband and my parents.

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday?   Drivers who don’t use their indicators.

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy?   My dad definitely needs a therapist, lol.

Do you like any of the songs on Twlight, or the actual movie/saga itself?   Some of the music was good but the films were spectacularly awful, lol.

How old was the first person you kissed?   We were both eleven.

Last person to stand up for you?   I don’t remember the last time I needed someone to stand up for me.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer?   Nope. Because I’m not, lol.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online?   Nope.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? Not at all. I mean, technology 

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother?   We only got yearbooks in our final year but I never bothered.

Jalapeños: yay or nay?   Nay. Spicy foods make me really unwell unfortunately - I will vomit lol.

Did you ever play Minecraft?   I tried it once and it made me feel sick, lol. I can’t play first player games like that as it’s like motion sickness to me.

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member?   I had one but I don’t remember playing it all that much.

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you?   I don’t really know, my life has been pretty good for the most part.

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex?   I don’t need to now I’m married, but I always did when I was younger.

Do you feel protective over someone?   Nope.

What is your favorite way to eat chicken?   I’m not actually a huge fan of chicken unless it’s in nuggets or tenders.

Are you a fan of seals?   Sure, they’re pretty cute.

Do you have a favorite pet?   Nope, I love them all equally but they’re just all different.

Have you ever played with toy cars before?   Sure, as a little kid, and also with my cousins when they were younger as they were both obsessed with cars and trains.

When was the last time you cried?   I honestly don’t remember.

Have you ever touched a caterpillar?   Yeah, we used to see loads of black and yellow caterpillars when I was younger and we always used to handle them.

Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch?   I just use YouTube to watch TV shows rather than anything else.

Have you ever won a game of chess?   Yeah, I used to be quite good at it when I was younger.

Do you enjoy staying at hotels? Sure, I love staying overnight in hotels.

How often do you bike ride?   I haven’t been on my bike in about five years, lol.

Are you any good at Ping-Pong?   Nope. I used to love playing it as a teenager but I was always beaten, haha.

Does your best friend have any piercings?   He does but he doesn’t wear any jewellery in them anymore.

Why did you last laugh really hard?   Yesterday when Bailey was just being a complete idiot, lol.

How have you felt today?   SO chilled out. It’s the first day of my Easter break and it’s been much, much needed. I slept ten hours, got housework done, walked the dog and now it’s just MY time to do whatever I want with and it’s lovely, lol.

What’s the latest you went to bed this week?   Around 11pm or so.

Anyone told you a secret this week?   I don’t think so.

In the next 4 months, what are you looking forward to most?   Time off work for a much-needed break, then work getting manic as it always does over the summer months. I’m also really looking forward to my beach ride in June.

Do you have your driver's license?   I do indeed.

Who was your last text message from?   Mike.

Do you use teeth whitener?   My toothpaste is supposedly a whitening one, but I don’t do anything else.

Do you iron your clothes?   Nope. I’ve never ironed a thing in my life, hahah.

Do you live near any volcanoes?   No.

Tell me something about yourself that you don't normally tell people.   I am autistic.

Who were you last mad at and why?   I can’t remember.

Do you think tomorrow will be a good day for you?   Yeah, most definitely. I have a riding lesson in the morning and then hopefully we’re going out for lunch if Mike’s off work.

What is something that one of your family member collects?   None of them are really collectors.

If you were able to set up a stand, what would you sell?   Coffee, cake and ice-cream.

Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework?   I’m sure it’s happened at some point.

Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled?   Normally around here it’s due to snow, or occasionally because the heating isn’t working.

If you were given a certain amount of time to live, would you want to know?  I think it depends. If I had say, cancer or something then I’d want to know, but if I was healthy I wouldn’t want to know the date of my death.

Who is your favorite Disney Princess?   Belle or Anna.

When was the last time you did something that you’ve never done before? What was it?   I did a new move in riding on Tuesday which was figure of eights in trot - I actually surprised myself and did them really well, haha.

Now that you are an adult, which situations make you feel most like a grown-up? Which situations make you feel like you’re still a child?   Running my own business makes me feel like a grown-up. I don’t often feel like a child anymore - maybe when I’m out with my mum and she insists on paying for everything for me still, haha.

What are three things/interests you are currently into right now?   Horse riding, wax melts and... I don’t know, lol. I’m going through a bit of a Disney phase again actually.

What was the last small thing that really inspired you, that jumpstarted you to create or gave you a great idea?   I honestly have absolutely no idea.

What are some things that you enjoy but you have no practical use for in your own life (e.g., baby clothes for a non-parent or school supplies for a non-student)? Do you still browse these items at stores?   ----

Why did you move to where you’re living now?   Because I met my husband and he already owned our house, so it made more sense for me to move in here than for us to buy a new place, especially as we’d never lived together before.

Are any of your relatives musicians?   I mean, my dad can play guitar but he just does it as a hobby.

What color was the last swimsuit you wore?   The only one I own is black and white.

Can you remember the last song you listened to?   I was listening to the Frozen 2 soundtrack while I was out with the dog.

Are you more of a phone or a computer person?   I use both equally.

What months were you and your siblings born in?   I was born in December - I don’t have any siblings.

What did you have for dinner last night?   A cheese and salami sandwich.

Ever peed in the pool? Be honest!   Sure, as a little kid.

Ever had to take an inkblot test?   I have absolutely no idea what that is, so I’m going to go with no.

Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed?   No.

Have you ever seen a walrus?   Not in real life, but on documentaries and such, yeah.

Does your bathroom have a theme to it?   No.

What’s something you worked extremely hard to get? Happiness.

Are you nosy?   Yeah, I think it’s human nature to be nosy to an extent.

Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed?   My husband.

[bynkii]

How My Parents Kept Me Drug-Free…mostly

Two very imperfect people allowed what they saw to override what they were told

I was born in 1967, and graduated high school in 1984. I went to school in Miami, all of it. Miami, especially in the 1970s and 1980s was anything but drug-free. They were everywhere, and so was the war on drugs. So to say I was “aware” of drugs is a monstrous understatement. I knew who sold what, where, when, and for how much.

My parents were both children of the depression. Their drug of choice was alcohol. Both of them were, for a time, alcoholics. My dad never was able to stop, although smoking killed him before beer could. My mom, as she did with everything, eventually set it aside, because…well, I guess because she was done with it.

Neither of them were dysfunctional, although my dad came closest. They both got up and went to work, my mom more than my dad. (In my dad’s defense, he was mangled by a car accident in 1978. He never walked right after that, and was in a lot of pain. That may not excuse his behavior, but it does explain much of it.) My mom…Margaret Thatcher was called the Iron Lady, but my mom was fuckin’ steel. She was the terminator. In an era when women who worked were still looked down upon, she worked. In a city that almost required cars, she walked and took buses. Note: buses were only if the walk was over a mile each way. In Miami.

Every fucking day she got up and went to work.

My mom and I had an occasionally complex relationship, and we argued, oh we argued, but I always respected the hell out of her, because when a lot of people might have given up, she put one foot in front of the other and made sure her family was taken care of. If that meant occasional times on food stamps, then she did that. I asked her about that once, since she came from a generation not known for being comfortable with welfare, and she said “I never felt any shame. I wasn’t using food stamps because I was lazy. I was using them to feed my family. If anyone had a problem with that, fuck ‘em.”

(My mom was regularly profane. I get it from her. She even told me my first “dirty” joke. No, really:

What’s worse than necking with Dracula?

Getting fingered by Capt. Hook.

People think I can cuss? HA. She could peel the paint off a battleship on an off day.)

From her I think I get my lack of addictive behavior. A few years back, when I realized that any amount of alcohol gave me pissah hahtbuhrn, wicked pissah hahtbuhrn, I just stopped drinking. About as much effort as you’d turn off the lights. Been drinking since I was…what, 16? At 46 I stopped, because it had become inconvenient.

That’s kind of handy.

From my dad, and my mom, but lead by my dad, I learned to really see what’s going on around me, and to not let “common sense/wisdom/knowledge” override reality.

My dad was one of the 2–3 youngest of ten, and one of the last, maybe the last to marry and have a kid. So he spent a lot of time as the cool uncle, and a lot of time observing kids. Parents too, but kids mostly, and he realized some things about how they behaved and what motivated them, and so when I came around, he did things a little differently.

For one, while neither of them was hardly permissive, there wasn’t the “NO AND I HAVE SPOKEN” shit. There was more “No, because I am smarter and more experienced than you, and I may not explain it to you all the time, but there are reasons, and in time you will learn them.” For example, bad words. In pre-school, I rode a bus, (it was the 60s/70s, little kids did stuff like that) with Jr. High kids. Jr. High kids love, love, love teaching littler kids profanity, and I was an adept student. Also, my folks had no problem with casual invective around the house.

But when I’d pop off with it, instead of making a big deal about it, they’d calmly explain that was a word I wasn’t yet allowed to say, help me find an alternative and move on. The reason why was simple: power. My dad had realized that making A Big Deal over things with kids gave the things power. And if the thing had power, then the person using it also had power. It’s why little kids will force their mouths to learn how to say “Brachiosaurus” in short order but mangle “Spaghetti” for months. “Brachiosaurus” has power. “Spaghetti”, not so much.

Before the reader scoffs at this, I can tell you it works better than you might think. My son grew up in a house full of casual profanity and yet, the only time he used it was “appropriate” for the situation. Someone cut us off in traffic. He dropped a trophy on his foot. Some kid punched him in the face. That sort of thing. Never the “wait until it’s the worst possible moment and COCCCCCCKSUCCCCCKERRRRRR!!!!!” shit.

Same thing with porn. Once my folks caught me hiding various magazines full of the wonders of boobies and vagina, and as I understand it, my mom rolled her eyes, my dad chuckled, they threw it out and got me a subscription to Playboy.

Yes, that was their solution to illicit porn. Playboy. The result? About six months after the subscription kicked in, (and let me tell you, when you’re in high school, parents who get you a sub to Playboy are INSTANTLY cooler than hell), I come in from the mailbox with the latest issue, reading…the interview. My dad sees this and asks “Whatcha reading J.C.?”

I respond with “Interview with Patty Hearst. It’s the first one she’s given since the whole SLA thing, and she’s talking about her life inside it, it’s really interesting.” “Who’s the centerfold?” “Beats me, haven’t even looked…yet…you son of a bitch…” and he is laughing. My mom was also home, and she is laughing. They are both laughing, almost howling, because they had taken one of the most forbidden fruits and turned it into something less exciting than an apple.

I had picked up an issue of Playboy and immediately dumped to the most interesting part: the interview. That crafty fucker had known that would happen, he’d known it. Because he’d realized that it was the forbidden aspect of it that made it cool. I mean, yeah, boobies, but that had become secondary.

He had even told me the theory once. “It’s like this: if you want your kid to eat popcorn like a fiend, ban it. Ban it from the house, ban it from conversation, ban the word, hell, make corn sinful. By the end of the month, you’ll open a closet door and drown in an avalanche of Orville Redenbacher’s best product. But if you make things no big deal, if you make them just well, normal then there’s no forbidden aspect to make it cool and pretty soon, it’s no more interesting than anything else.”

He had told me what was going to happen, and I still fell for it. Now, it helped my Aunt had worked for Playboy in Chicago, and my dad and mom used to go to the Chicago Playboy Club on dates, so they had a more expansive view of Playboy than most, but still…goddamnit, they pwned me. Wasn’t the last time.

Right around that time, I come home drunk for the first time. Maybe before. I was 14. My friend had just turned 19, and at the time in Fl, that was the drinking age and…his parents were out of town. Fucking epic. Garbage can punch. I was so wasted I walked around in his above-ground pool for two hours. Didn’t even realize it until someone told me:

JOHN!

WHAT!

WHY ARE YOU IN THE POOL!

I’M IN THE POOL?

YEAH! WHY ARE YOU IN THE POOL?

OH THANK GOD, I THOUGHT I’D PISSED MYSELF!

Was-TED. That was also the night I discovered you can indeed puke through your nose. That hurts, by the way. Also smells awful, simply awful.

So I get a ride home, and in some amount of time get from the street to the apartment we lived in. And from there, I tried to play it smooth. It might have worked except:

I wore no shirt

I had one shoe and one sock on

Not on the same feet

I was missing my glasses

I was blind as a bat without them

I was still soaking wet

I smelled of vomit

I took god knows how long to get the key in the lock, bounced off the door frame six times just walking in, and yet still thought I had them all fooled. In my head, I said “Well, that was quite the soiree, boy am I tired, I’m off to bed, cheers!” (for some reason, I thought being “british” would make me sound “sober”.

According to my folks, what came out of my mouth was “AABBTHFEEEEERS!!!” and I barely made it to the bed. They said it was all really funny as hell.

I was smooooove y’all.

The next day, after they woke me with metal spoons on pans and worked me like hell all day, my dad said “Look, I get it, you want to drink sometimes. That’s fine. But, I want you to be safe, so if you want to drink, let us know, we’ll buy some extra and you can do it here, where we can keep an eye on things.”

Coolest parents ever, right?

Hah.

At first it was cool. Then the novelty wore off, (HINT), and I kind of stopped. My Senior Year, in a minor miracle, I get invited to a party. I tell my parents where I’m going, party, don’t wait up, etc., and off I go. While I’m there, someone comes in and says we all need to go into the woods in back of the house, <someone> had just scored a keg of Bud. My response? “Nah, I’ll stay here, Bud’s shit, and I can drink it whenever…I…want…at…..home………I need to use your phone.”

Dial, dial, ring, ring, <click>…”Yeahhhlow” “You ASSHOLE” Cue braying laughter, because the old bastard knew, somehow he knew what had happened. “Let me guess, someone scored some beer and it’s not that exciting is it?” “YOU’VE RUINED PARTYING AND PORN, WHAT KIND OF DEMON ARE YOU?” “The kind that’s way smarter than you are.” “….I hate you so much right now.” “I win” <click>

But that was just it. By not hiding behind “just say no” or the rest, instead being somewhat sensible about it, my parents avoided the binge drinking shit that so many other parents don’t, because I had no reason to hide it. It wasn’t forbidden fruit, or even particularly interesting fruit. It was just booze. It was just beer. About as interesting as the hamburger one would drink it with.

When it came to talking about drugs, instead of trying to scare me, they talked to me like an adult. They talked about what medicine/science knew about the effects of drugs, which ones were worse than others, and why needles were bad news. Based on reality, not hysteria.

My dad, as it turned out, had tried a lot of things while he was in the Army in Korea. He was unimpressed with most of it. Heroin especially, because that shit had made him sicker than hell. He didn’t know what the high was like, he was too busy vomiting. Probably doing his first ever hit of China White and then getting on a C-119 for the flight between Japan and Korea didn’t help.

That made far more of an impression on me than Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” idiocy. (Imagine thousands of stoners yelling “NO! NO!” at their bongs before every hit, and you have an idea of how effective that shit wasn’t.) They both hated that kind of thing because it was almost lying, and they knew that if they lied to me about it, the lie would be found out, and then I’d start wondering what else they had lied about.

The truth was, they told me, was that most people who use drugs don’t end up in a ditch. They manage their bad habits. But some do end up in a ditch, and you don’t know which category you’re in until it’s too late. So before you try something, fucking think a minute, and ask yourself why you’re trying it. If the only reason is to be “cool”, maybe that’s kind of stupid. I later found out that my mom held the opinion that 90% of my contact with drugs would be on a quest for sex, and to be honest, she was right. The only reason I tried crack, for example, was because a really hot girl I knew was into it, and she offered to let me try via shotgunning it. Making out with really hot girls was way high on my list of things to automatically say “yes” to, and so I did.

As I was really drunk at the time, all it did was make me sober for 45 minutes. That sucked. The making out part was all right though. Making out is always all right.

According to popular wisdom, as a child of alcoholics, I should have some serious booze problems myself.

Yet, I don’t, nor did I really ever. I’d drink to excess here and there, but not as a “Tuesday” kind of thing. At parties and shit, sure, but just because I could? Nah, not so much, and I honestly think my parents’ approach to all of this was a big part. It seems to have worked well, my son didn’t even try booze until his 21st birthday, and I had told him years before that if he ever wanted to at home, he was welcome to do so.

That’s how his mom and I approached drugs in general. Don’t lie. Give him accurate facts. Don’t over- or downplay the reality of getting high. Be honest in an adult fashion, not some bullshit “it’s all the devil’s dick” kind of stupidity. Seems to have worked.

Look, I’m not saying that my way or my parents way is foolproof. But, as a society, we’ve been trying this EEEEEVIL! EEEEEEVIL I TELLS YAH! shit for decades now, and it’s been a pretty massive failure. Maybe, just maybe, instead of trying to scare our kids and failing because we’re both lying to them and treating them like they are stupid, maybe we should treat them like they are the smart people they actually are, and just talk to them honestly and openly about alcohol and other drugs. Fear and lying are a pretty shitty way to teach anyone about anything if you think about it. Maybe we should stop doing that?