#i saw him and went ‘CAL KESTIS?!’

[something-tofightfor]

One quick thing while I’m typing some other thoughts:

there were a bunch of random celebrities in attendance tonight and I got to meet Malin Akerman and Cameron Monaghan along with the TLOU cast so like… what a friggin DAY.

[goosewriting]

I have an inq!cal thought!

Reader and cal both having a crush on the other when they were both on the mantis and just when they finally admit it to the other and get together something happens and cal is presumed to be dead but actually he’s been captured by the empire and turned into an inquisitor and then during a mission reader is on she runs into cal 👀

And like it could be a good ending OR Cal’s conditioning wins and he kisses reader as he runs them through after reader says they can’t fight him and like uh I am very partial to the angst ending

The Bad Ending

summary: years after thinking Cal is dead, reader meets him again as an Inquisitor. 

relationship: inquisitor!Cal Kestis x gn!reader

warnings: mention of character death, also actual character death (ahem, you, ahem), yummy angst

word count: 3k

A/N: i too, am very partial to the angst ending so, bon appetit 😌 no but seriously this has been sitting in my wips for FAR too long, i really loved this idea so i hope i made it justice! thank you sm for requesting and the patience dearest anon<3

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

Somewhere in the Outer Rim, it’s early dawn on a small, often overlooked planet. The first rays of sun hit your face as you’re helping a fellow resistance fighter in loading a truck with some supplies, and it makes you squint. You stop your motions to block the light with your hand held to your forehead, and for a split second, you see a head of red hair in the corner of your eye. Your body reacts on its own, immediately turning and craning your neck to find him. But it’s a false alarm, obviously. The ginger human gives you a weird look as you’re staring, then shrugs their shoulders and keeps walking. 

Heaving a sigh, you load the last of the crates, shaking your head at yourself in embarrassment. It’s already been years since you last saw him. Since you saw any of them. The crew of the Stinger Mantis.

You can’t help the small smile on your face when you think back to everything that you went through together. All the adventures, the missions…the sneaking out. Stolen glances here and there, lingering touches that may have meant something more, making the most of every moment because you knew it could be the last. Except that you didn’t actually believe that. All of you knew how risky the missions were, aware of the dangers that seemed to loom around every corner. But you hoped to, wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. None of you was invincible, you knew that. But to think that he would just be… gone. It still stings. 

When retrieving the Holocron on Bogano, the Second Sister confronted Cal in the vault, except that you never saw him come out. By then, the Stormtroopers had overrun the place, so you had to leave. But you came back, multiple times, searching for him. Every time unsuccessful. 

At some point, you came to terms with the fact that she had probably killed him in the vault, a place you couldn’t access as you’re not Force sensitive. The thought of Cal being in there, bleeding out, alone, BD probably also dismantled by the Imperials… The thought makes you shiver to this day.

Losing Cal took a toll on everyone, and it didn’t take long for the Mantis crew to split up after that. Cere took it particularly badly, blaming herself for the failures, both with Trilla and Cal. Ever since then, you’ve never seen or heard of either Cere or Greez again. So you were on your own. 

You’ve been lying low, helping out more from behind the scenes instead of getting into the action like back then. But you can’t deny the fact that you miss Cal every single day. Despite knowing that you’ll never see him again, you can’t help but wonder “what if”. Back then, you two had something going on. You were actually planning on confessing to him after you safely got off Bogano with the Holocron. But those plans were cut short by one very grumpy Inquisitor. You still regret not having told him sooner, as you were fairly certain he felt the same way. To this day, you still dream with Cal at night, picturing what life would be like if he was there with you.

Shaking your head to focus on the task at hand, you look down at the fruit you’ve been holding in your hand. You were so lost in thought, you didn’t even notice that the loaded truck was long gone, and your feet brought you to the city market. The vendor at the stall you’re standing at looks at you suspiciously, so you shoot them a quick smile and put the fruit back into the basket, then stroll to the next stand.

Focusing back on the task at hand, you force yourself to shove the painful memories aside to make room for a mental plan. The rebellion is growing every day, and that means the amount of mouths to feed is increasing as well, so you’re to get provisions at the market. Other supplies like tools and machinery parts were sent off just earlier. The food you’d bring yourself to a hidden spot where your contact told you they’d pick it up. You just have to find a way to smuggle it all out of there unseen by the imperial troops, who walk around the place in regular patrols.

You actually have your suspicions that your contact is either a Jedi themselves, or someone who’s working closely with one, as there’s been rumours here and there about someone with mystic powers having arrived in the village. No matter if they’re true or not, you really hope the rumours will settle down quickly, as it will undoubtedly attract unwanted attention.

After you’re done with your shopping spree, you look at your haul, which occupies several large crates. You grimace slightly, as it’s more than you anticipated. Maybe you can ask that one farmer who owes you a favour if you can borrow his cart, since you can’t carry all of this on your speeder. Getting your holopad out of your satchel, you double-check the drop-off place, and conclude that hiding the crates there will be quick work. The problem is the cart itself; hopefully with enough hay you’ll be able to cover them all to go by unnoticed. 

So that’s exactly what you do. The farmer is more than happy to help, and you feel a little bad knowing that you’re about to leave his cart at the pick-up spot, then tell him that there was an accident and it broke down, getting swept away by the river which conveniently ends in a waterfall not far away. You’ll pay him for the cart of course, but even so… you’re essentially lying to his face. While in this case, the end does justify the means, this part of the job still doesn’t get any easier for you. 

It’s the same afternoon when you’re loading up the cart. The animal pulling it is tame and knows you, so you bring some extra treats for her. Once you’re done putting on the harness and hiding your crates, you head out. It’s a sunny day, and except for the occasional bleating, the clicking of your tongue and the clinking of the reins, there's not much else. 

The air is calm, and you allow yourself to hum a little tune to yourself. As you arrive at a narrow passage between two walls of stone that leads into the valley, the path turns a sharp corner and you can’t really see ahead. Only once you fully turn are you able to take in the image before you, and your blood runs cold in your veins. Not far in front of you, there’s a shuttle parked on the road, blocking your way, and half a dozen Stormtroopers stand with their loaded weapons. You pull on the reins, wanting to turn her around, but as you look behind you, you see more troopers blocking the other way as well.

You bring the cart to a halt instead and turn back to the front, reaching for the blaster under your seat, when from behind the shuttle you see two dark figures appear: an Inquisitor, followed by a Purge Trooper. The latter approaches you in quick strides, pointing one of the two electrobatons at you.

“Get down,” comes his modulated but demanding voice through the helmet.

You hesitate for a second, unsure of what to do. Biting the inside of your cheek, you quickly analyse the situation, concluding that while you certainly can't take on all troopers alone, let alone an Inquisitor, maybe you can make a run for it towards the thicker vegetation. You just have to make it back past the narrow passage you just came from.

“I said get down!” the Purge Trooper barks, clearly annoyed. 

“Alright, alright,” you finally respond.

You motion to stand up, as if you’re pushing yourself off your seat with your hands, but instead get your rifle from underneath and, from your elevated position, you shoot the trooper right between the shoulder and chest plates of is armour. 

He falls down to the ground with a groan, and you jump off the wagon, making a run for it. You know your rifle can penetrate the normal Stormtrooper armour, so you shoot the ones that had appeared behind you, hitting each one twice, and push past them.

You don’t look back despite hearing the other troopers closing in on you, and you duck as they shoot at you. But you know their aim is not the best, so you keep going, your lungs burning at the sudden effort. You’re just passing the treeline when something knocks you over; you seem to trip over air as you fall face first to the ground, hard. You barely manage to let go of your rifle to brace yourself, and you roll a couple of times from the speed you were coming at.

Everything spins for a moment, and you reach out to grab your weapon and keep going, but an invisible force keeps you pinned to the ground on your back. You groan in frustration and confusion, looking up to see the troopers now gathered around you aiming their blasters at you, yet not firing. They all take a step back to let the Inquisitor walk through, and you give them the best glare you can muster.

The red visor glistens, the sun reflecting on it, as they tilt their head to the side while looking at you. Then comes the modulated voice, calling your name. Not just your name, but your nickname, the one only one person ever used for you. One that you were certain you’d never hear again.

You let out a shuddering breath as you watch in horror how the Inquisitor takes off the helmet, dislodging it with a hiss, to reveal the face underneath. 

“So we meet again, after all these years,” Cal says, running his free hand through his hair, looking down at you with a sour face. “After you left me for dead.”

Your mind is reeling, unable to comprehend the situation.

“I- You-” you stumble over your words. “We didn’t leave you. We thought you were dead. We looked for you!”

He gives you a half-hearted chuckle.

“Not well enough, it seems…” he retorts. “Yeah, well, the crew never was much anyway. I work better, alone, after all.”

“You know that’s not true”, you say in a small voice, your body finally catching up to the situation, starting to shiver.

He extends his hand towards you, and you find yourself being lifted off the ground and to your feet, but slowly pushed backwards into the forest.

“Leave us,” he orders without breaking eye contact with you, and the troopers obey, putting some distance between you and them. For every step Cal walks towards you, you take one back, and after a few moments you’re surrounded by vegetation, out of sight and earshot from the others. Only then does he let go of you, and you stand there for a second, looking at each other. 

Then the quiet tension becomes almost unbearable. There's so much you want to tell him, ask him. What happened in the vault? Did he ever come looking for you? Even if you never got to tell him yourself, does he know how you felt about him?

“I don’t know if it means anything to you anymore,” you finally break the silence. “But I missed you.”

He doesn’t answer, instead continuing to look at you with this unreadable, almost bored expression.

“Are you going to kill me?” you decide to ask instead, fearing the answer. 

“If you stand in my way, I might have to,” he replies, and your heart drops. “You’re not my target, though.”

“Then who is?” Your gaze falls to the ground.

“There’s been reports of a Jedi in the village,” Cal says, taking a careful step towards you. Your eyes snap back up to his, stopping him in his tracks.

“So that’s what you do now? Hunt Jedis?” You don’t try to hide the hurt in your voice.

He merely raises a brow at you, as if the answer to that is obvious. It is. 

“And you're okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You were a Jedi once, too.”

“Technically, I never got knighted, so no,” he retorts with a hint of a sadistic smile.

You scoff.

“But Cere would have done it sooner or later, I’m sure…”

At the mention of the name, Cal frowns.

“Yet she didn’t,” he states coldly. He looks up into the trees with a deep breath, then picks some imaginary lint off his uniform, his face relaxing back into the nothingness from before. His eyes snap back up to meet yours as he stands still. “And she won’t.”

“W-what do you mean by that,” you ask, horrified. “Is she…”

Again, he doesn’t answer.

“D-did you…”

You see his jaw tense up, and your body runs cold, colder.

“Cal, what have you done,” you breathe, barely audible, and bring your hands up to hide your face. You can feel the tears prickling at the back of your eyes, and you try your best to hold them back.

“I only did what must be done,” he answers matter-of-factly, then takes a step towards you, but you take a quick one back. He stops again. “So what were you planning on doing, exactly? Run away?”

You shift uncomfortably.

“I would have found you either way, just like I did now.”

“I thought I wasn’t your target,” you retort. 

“And you aren’t,” he assures you. “But after finding out you’re here, I just wanted… to see you.”

“Why,” you mutter, not really meant as a question. “After all this time. Not like this.”

He takes another slow step towards you, and this time you don't have it in you to back away. Your tears are running freely now, rolling down your cheeks as you hold back a sob. Now standing right in front of you, Cal lets go of his helmet, which falls onto the grass with a soft thud. His gloved hands come up to cup your face, his thumb swiping away a tear over your cheekbone.

“I missed you,” he says in a small voice that doesn’t really fit with his current image.

“And I missed you,” you choke out, placing your hands over his. “So, so much.”

You look into his eyes, now a fiery yellow, and the sight is so unfamiliar, so cold, that you can’t hold his gaze for long, and it falls back down, but you don’t want to look at his black armour either, so you look to the side instead. Your hands still hold his in place, though.

“I really thought you were dead, Cal, but this…” you manage to say after taking several shaky breaths. “An Inquisitor… This is no way to live. It’s not you. We can escape together. Start over. Whatever they did to you, we’ll undo it layer by layer. Please.”

“I’m afraid that's not possible,” he says, dropping one hand while the other moves from your cheek to your chin, making you look at him, and he studies your face for a moment. “But I can’t let you go either. You're working with the resistance fighters, aren't you.”

“I- I’m continuing where we left off, just in a different way.”

“So you are working with the Jedi, and as such against the Empire.”

His hand goes to the back of your neck, holding you in place, and a strange panic starts to settle in your limbs as you realise you can’t move away from his hold. Cal is so close now that you can feel his breath fanning over your cheek.

“If I let you go, will you shoot me?” he asks in a low voice.

You want to scoff, but it’s more of a teary-eyed huff.

“I could never, Cal. I- I loved you,” you tilt up your face to properly look him in the eyes. “I never stopped loving you. I still do.”

He tilts his head ever so slightly to the side, his brows furrowing, then scrunching upwards in the middle, as if he just remembered something painful.

“So do I,” he whispers. 

You let out a sob, broken-hearted. All this time. All this time and he felt the same, was alive. But now he’s… an Inquisitor. A killing machine, fed by his own pain and anger, a tool used by the Empire to eradicate any remaining traces of hopefulness that people still might harbour.

“I can’t fight you,” he finally says.

“Neither can I,” you assure him.

Then he leans in, kissing you hard, and your mind is reeling. He holds you in place with the hand at your nape, your own coming up to hold his face. He kisses you like he’s making up for lost time, pouring his very being into it, and you reciprocate.

Somewhere in your mind, the metallic clink and the pressure against your side got registered, but with the kiss, it’s too much input to make sense of anything else. 

Cal breaks the kiss and pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes, and you see a single tear rolling down his cheek.

“But I can’t let you go either,” he whispers against your lips, voice breaking, and before you can ask what he means, you not only hear his lightsabre igniting, you feel it. 

Your mouth opens in a silent scream. Within a split second, your upper body feels on fire, and a sharp, unbearable pain prevents you from breathing or thinking straight. You hear your own flesh sizzle as Cal retracts his weapon after running it through you. Even though your legs give in, he holds your full weight, embracing you, and slowly kneels down, bringing you down with him gently.

“C-Cal,” you gasp for air as your lungs burn quite literally, everything around you getting blurry.

“I’m sorry,” he says over and over, caressing your cheek softly as he kisses you again. 

With your last effort, your hand comes up to hold his, but it goes limp before it can do so, falling onto the ground. Cal cries into your shoulder, holding your limp body for a long time, until it turns cold.

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [link to join in my pinned post!] @dybynyght, @galaxtic-writings, @kalea-bane, @soka-writes-things, @padawancat97, @riddikulus-obsessions, @optimisticprime3, @starilicious, @ivelostmyabilitytoeven, @alternatescififandomelover, @lovelyygirl8, @cathyket, @wildefire, @ghostkestis

[grievedeeply]

I saw you want requests after playing Survivor

👁👄👁

One shot of Cal running across fem reader that he knew when he was a padiwan (assumed dead)? And realizing why he was always so flustered and agitated by her 🤭🤭

this is so cute i loooove these reunion prompts i'm getting!!

fem!reader (no pronouns used) | tws/tags: death, sorta in depth order 66, use of y/n

JOIN MY NEW TAGLIST!!

they never left — cal kestis

you remembered the day clear in your mind as though it had happened yesterday. the purge. the clones tore through your master as though they were never even there. their last words to you ring true in your mind even ten years later, "run," and you did. you ran, using the force to reach into places they couldn't. you snuck past those who used to be your friends. you thought they cared for you. why had they all had a sudden change of heart? whatever the reason was, you knew you couldn't dwell. it wouldn't do you any good to be miserable.. even if that's all you wanted to do, sometimes.

over the years, you hid your abilities and tucked away your lightsaber for good. you swore to never use the force ever again. your family was gone. the order was gone, your master was gone.. and you couldn't reach out into the force to attempt to sense anyone. it was too risky.

cal. was he gone, too? he was another padawan under the tutelage of jedi master jaro tapal, a kind but intimidating lasat who you had met a few times. but cal.. cal was warm. he was inviting, he was friendly. he was everything an introverted child like yourself needed in a friend. the two of you quickly became rule breakers, sneaking out past curfews and past the temple guards who— looking back on it now— definitely saw you. you snuck out so often to spend time together, knowing that the likelihood of being assigned together on a mission was slim to none, it was the next best thing. maybe even better. at least there wasn't a risk of death, now.

you managed to get on each others nerves often, too. disagreeing and arguing and avoiding each other until you both forgot what happened. though, as you grew older, cal found himself getting more and more.. flustered.. when you were around. his face was constantly red, his palms were sweaty, his chest so tight it practically hurt to breath, and it irritated him. you irritated him. was it your fault? he didn't know. it only happened around you, so it had to be your fault, so he tried to avoid you.

it wasn't as though he treated you poorly. he could never do that. his heart and soul were too kind, too gentle. he didn't have a mean bone in his body.. but he wished you would just go away sometimes, to get that sinking feeling in his stomach to fade as it always did when you left.

now, cal knows what that feeling was. it was the beginnings of a crush. attachment and relationships were forbidden in the order. attachment made you selfish. it lead to jealousy, anger and resentment. a path to the dark side of the force. but now.. the jedi order was no more. it was destroyed years ago, but you hadn't lived to see it.

he heard your name. whispered in hushed voices by people on every planet he visited. your name, and the names of plenty of other jedi. plo koon, aayla secura.. anakin skywalker. but he focused on solely on you. you were killed alongside your master during the purge. you died, and he wasn't there to protect you. he reached into the force over and over, desperately trying to find a trace of you throughout it as time went on, but he found nothing. your death was confirmed, and there was nothing he could do about it.

you were glad word of your death spread fast. it was much easier to hide, and you had to move less often. your life proved more relaxed.. or as relaxed as it could be. despite your supposed death, your world would never be safe as long as you were force sensitive.

this time, kohbo was the world of choice. it was a nice, relatively backwater world in the outer rim. imperial presence, but as long as you kept your head down, you would fit in well. people from all sorts of backgrounds flocked to it. it wasn't like you would be out of place, and that fact was a relief. you'd stick to yourself as you always did, and everything would be well.

you stood, back pressed against the cold stone of the wall as you stared up towards the landing platform. a ship, a S-161 'stinger' XL, sat on the dock. you'd heard that it'd crashed out in the gorge a little ways away from rambler's reach. whoever piloted it knew greez in some way or another, and he'd managed to fix it, along with someone else you didn't know the name of. you didn't much care for their name, anyway. keeping your head down, staying out of trouble, that was the main goal.

until turgle fell off of the platform, screaming as he hurtled towards the ground. before you could even think, you reached out your hand and looked deep into the force, watching as he floated to the ground. his eyes were still closed and he yelped as you caught him, but other than that, he looked confused until his eyes landed on you, your hand extended out in his direction. he might be clumsy, but he wasn't exactly stupid.

you cringed, awkwardly sinking in on yourself as you turned around, ready to go back to your ship and leave koboh and everyone else on this planet behind.. until you heard turgle's voice call out your name.

"you," you heard him come up behind you, out of breath and looking red in the face, "you saved me!" he exclaimed, "with your.. your force magic." he said, eyes wide in disbelief. he stared you down, and you pursed your lips as you stared right back at him. "you're a jedi, aren't you?" he spoke up again, and all you could do was roll your eyes. "ha, of course not. you're just seeing things." you insisted to him with a simple shrug of your shoulders, turning on your heel to leave once again. by now, greez was hot on turgle's tail, his expression wide eyed and excited.

"oh, come on! i saw you," he retorted, "you saved me from imminent death.. and i am in your debt." he told you with a nod of his head, and you sighed. "you don't owe me anything, okay? just keep this quiet and we're even." you responded, and he nodded once again, eagerly. he stood there for a few moments until you raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to leave. finally taking the hint, he skipped away from you and into the cantina.

you let out a groan. turgle could barely be trusted. he would blabber about you eventually, and you didn't want to be around when he did. this place wasn't safe anymore. once more, you turned to leave, but heard the sound of greez clearing his throat. you weren't out of the woods, yet.

you shut your eyes, but glanced over your shoulder at him. his arms were crossed over his chest, but he wore a smile.

"there's someone i think you should meet, kid."

you furrowed your brow. you couldn't exactly say no, could you?

greez led you into the cantina through the back entrance, clambering up the steps through heavy breaths. who could he possibly want you to meet? a million questions ran through your mind as you came out into the main area of the cantina, and he gestured for you to take a seat next to him at the bar. you did so after a moment's hesitation, and you sat there, hunched over in your seat, feeling completely exposed. still, no one looked at you any differently as they did before.

"what am i doing here?" you asked, letting your elbow rest uncomfortably against the bar. greez spared you a glance, but kept at his drink. "someone i want you to meet, s'all." he reassured you, finally turning his chair to face you. you blinked a few times. his words did nothing to reassure you, for all you knew, he could be turning you in to the raiders or even the empire. you sighed, but decided to keep your mouth shut.

you watched the door as people entered and exited, waving goodbye to moran as he left for the night. over the few months you'd been staying on koboh, he was the only one you spoke to regularly. he came off as prickly, but the truth was, he was a sad, lonely man who needed a friend. even if making connections, getting attached, wad a bad idea.. moran was there for you when you needed someone, even if he didn't know it. he returned your wave with a smile, and the door slid shut behind him.

"it's been hours, who am i waiting for?" you spoke up again for the first time since you'd arrived. "any minute now," he reassured you, a knowing grin spread across his lips. what was he even talking abou-

the door slid open.. red hair. you froze in your seat, your hands suddenly felt sweaty and your heart fell into your stomach. the boy you once knew was now a man, but you would recognize his face anywhere. cal. he was alive. you practically jumped out of your seat and rushed into him without thinking, arms wrapped around his midsection in a tight hug. "cal.." you muttered his name under your breath, finally finding your voice as you pulled away to get a better look at him.

he had matured, grown into his features. he carried a newly fashioned saber on his belt, and on his shoulders was a cute BD unit. his cheeks were covered in freckles, his eyes still that same beautiful green, splattered with specks of blue.

"i thought.. i thought you were-" cal said, his voice barely a whisper. "i'm sorry," you told him, "i.. wish i knew you were alive." you continued after a pause, still taking in his new look. he looked.. handsome.

"i tried to find you," he swallowed, "through the force."

that feeling was back. the feeling from ten years ago. his palms were sweaty, and his heart pounded against his ribcage. a crush that never faded, that only grew once he saw how you'd grown. you were incredible then.. but now? you were stunning. his breath hitched in his throat, but he lifted his hand to your face. "i.. i'm so glad you're okay." he whispered to you, and you nodded, a small smile on your lips.

"okay, kids. break it up. you can.. make out later, or whatever." greez cut into the moment, his grating voice ringing unpleasantly in cal's ears. he chuckled awkwardly under his breath but took a few steps away from you. still, his eyes never left your face.

"we aren't.. we weren't-" you said, cheeks flushed in embarrassment at his suggestion. "uhuh.. whatever." he responded, eyes flickering back and forth between the two of you, and you felt as though he saw right through you. for a man as strange as he was, he read people incredibly well. "figured you'd get along. glad i was right." he continued before you had the chance to dig yourself further into the hole in your mind you were forming.

"i'll leave you two alone," he laughed, glancing knowingly between you and cal, a smirk on his face. still, he stayed true to his word and climbed out of his chair, walking out of the front entrance with a skip in his step.

you watched as he left, only turning back to cal once the door closed behind him. your mouth felt dry, and you licked your lips. "you.. um, you have a new lightsaber?" you asked, glancing down at the weapon hanging from his hip. he nodded, "my.. my first one, i lost it during the purge." you didn't reply to his words verbally, but sat your hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"and who's this?" you asked, a smile on your features as you glanced at the BD unit. "oh," cal said, matching your expression even though it seemed as though he forgot the droid was there at all. "this is BD-1," he told you, and you directed your grin at him, "you've been taking care of cal while i've been gone?" you teased, but the droid replied in completely serious beeps, much to his dismay.

"how long have you been here?" cal asked you after a pause, and you glanced around at your surroundings. the cantina needed some work.. and a deep cleaning. you turned your attention back to him, but a sigh fell from your lips. "a couple of months now." his gaze was soft as he stared into your eyes, and he took your hands into his own, grounding himself into this moment. "i heard you were dead, y/n." he muttered. "i.. i know." you spoke, your heart aching at the thought of him mourning for you. "the force.. i couldn't.. i couldn't feel you." he told you, and you said nothing in response, averting your gaze to his hands in your own.

this.. this moment reminded you of your childhood, running around the gardens of the temple with your hands entwined, completely ignoring your assigned training to play for awhile. except now, cal's hands were rough, and so were yours.

"i cut myself off from the force." you explained to him, "i had to hide. i've been hiding.. up until today." you could hear his breathing through the silence of the empty cantina, and he didn't say anything else. instead, he dropped your hands and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

"i love you." cal whispered into your neck, and you swore your breathing stopped. "what?" your arms fell to your sides, but he didn't pull away. "i love you." he repeated himself, pulling away to look into your eyes. his face was red, but the expression he wore was serious. "how could you.. how could you say that?" you asked, brows furrowed. his hands gripped your shoulders, and he let out a breathless chuckle.

"i've known it for years. when we were kids.. i had the biggest crush on you, and it bothered me. it bothered me how flustered i'd get around you even when you did.. absolutely nothing but smile." he explained, a growing smile forming across his face. "and irritated me. so i stayed away from you, thinking you were the one who bothered me all along." he said.

"but now the order doesn't exist anymore. the code is gone. but my.. my feelings for you- they never left." cal's voice fell to a whisper, "and seeing you now, it just makes me realize it all.. all over again." he took in a deep breath, but kept his eyes trained on your face. "so.."

"cal," you shut your eyes, shaking your head, "you actually felt that way that entire time when i thought you just started hating me for no reason?" you sighed, his lack of response telling you everything you needed to know.

you took a step closer to him, pressing your lips to his for a few seconds before pulling away. to cal, it wasn't nearly long enough. he leaned after your lips, eyes already completely closed as he'd relaxed into your touch. "i love you too. i always have." you told him, the feeling of his lips burned into your memory. they were chapped and dry.. but they fit against yours perfectly.

"really?"

"really."

he grinned, and kissed you again.

tags: @starwalkerwriting @war-in-time

[layla4567]

May the force be with you

Cal Kestis x GN reader

Summary: Y/N has started to have feelings for Cal but doesn't know how to confess, maybe a love letter will help.

Warnings: Fluff time 😎

A/N: Hello, I apologize for not having included the "readmore" before (in fact I don't know if I did it correctly because they had never asked me before) and another apology if the story is not very accurate to the Star Wars universe (I'm not into it )

• • • • • • •

Maybe you always had those feelings for your friend. From the first minute you saw that red head and freckles like a strawberry. Yes, that must have been it. These feelings were not new, but even so in recent times they have intensified. Oh, yes indeed.

It all started in the last most recent mission. They were on the Mantis trying to look for the tombs of the three wise men. The map already had the exact coordinates, the destination was Dathomir. They got off the ship and headed towards some dark caves. It was wet and Cal had to light the way with his saber. You were lagging behind and the shadows were wrapping around you like a thin gauze, you ran in fear to his side and squeezed his hand, Cal turned his head towards you in surprise but then gave you a warm smile. He knew you were scared of the dark.

The faithful BD1 was clinging to Cal's shoulder. We went deeper and in a moment the place seemed more illuminated, the walls were no longer rocks but fat roots that rose from the floor to the ceiling. BD1 made a beep and quickly got off the redhead's shoulder and ran towards some kind of climbing wall and stopped looking at both of you.

"Looks like here is". Said the freckled boy with his hands on his hips looking up.

The white droid made an affirmative metallic noise, Cal smiled widely.

"Okay little one, hop on"

The boy stretched out his arm and the small droid climbed up to him to cling to his back. Then he saw you without stopping smiling

"Ladies first"

Cal extended his arm like a gentleman inviting you in as you bowed briefly, laughing. You held on tightly to the wall and started climbing it with Cal underneath you. He tried not to look up, blushing slightly. When you reached the top you saw him climb and with each step the muscles in his arms flexed and bulged, you had to shake your head to concentrate on something else.

Unfortunately the route did not end there, they had to cross to the other side and climb a wall that reached another rock. You approached the edge, you thought about whether you could jump but the gap was very long, you swallowed worriedly. Cal came to your side, reassuring you.

"Hey don't worry, I'm here with you"

His closeness and his affectionate squeeze on your arm made your cheeks redden and a chill ran down your neck. Of course he had no idea about all these sensations that were going through your body.

"I'll cross first, so you can see how I did it, okay?"

He offered generously and you nodded. For him it was easy, he was much more agile and flexible than you. Even when he was a simple worker he could jump and do pirouettes, you can't. With the grace and ease of a monkey he arrived at the other side in a second, then he looked at you with a nod of head inviting you to cross. You were still afraid, you tried to see how he did it but it had been so fast. Seeing that you were hesitant, Cal shouted at you, encouraging you.

"Nothing will happen to you, trust me, if you fall I'll catch you."

Those words, that simple phrase melted your heart. Now you were sure, you were in love with him. The tenderness with which he said that made you want Cal in your life more than ever so he could protect you. A little calmer you approached the wall and after steadying your feet you began to move to the right, always concentrating on not looking down. Don'tlookdowndon'tlookdown. Cal followed your every movement with religious attention, prepared for any possible fall. When you were about a meter from the edge of the other rock Cal advised you to try to push yourself to the right and jump. Your face contorted into a mask of terror, jump? Was he crazy or what?

"Just trust me!"

Of course you trusted him, you would even trust him with the most powerful weapon because you knew he wouldn't hurt you with it. You took a deep breath and followed his advice. You took a clean and jerk with your entire body flexed and jumped to the right, stretching your entire body and your arms trying to grab the edge of the rock. With horror you saw how your fingers barely touched the surface and you began to fall. An anguished scream calling your friend's name came from your throat, tearing the silence of the place. The freckled man quickly positioned himself at the edge of the rock as if his life depended on it and held you firmly by the wrists. The two of you looked at each other for a few seconds while your body hung and swung in the air. You were scared, but Cal was frowning with effort and huffing, but he couldn't stop a mocking smile from appearing at the corner of his lips.

"I promised you I'd catch you didn't I?"

A nervous smile appeared on your face. Very carefully he lifted you up and placed a hand on your back so you could sit up. Being so close to him created revolutions in your head and hormones. His gaze inspecting you up and down for possible injuries as he asked you over and over again if you were okay made you feel weak, your legs felt weak as if at any moment they could shake and fall with your knees hitting the cold, hard floor as you hugged his waist and you gave him looks with the eyes of a lost puppy, drunk, needy, desirous and burning with love saying "I am yours"

As your breathing quickened slightly Cal seemed satisfied with his inspection and they continued on their way with BD1 in the lead. You were still a little distracted by all your intoxicating and somewhat lewd thoughts about your friend that you didn't realize he was walking away so you shook your head and trotted after him.

The second time Cal gave you butterflies in your stomach (without him even knowing) was in Kashyyyk. A holocron had guided us there for the same reason, to find information about the Zaffo. Already on the ship we were preparing to land, Cal put on some of his ponchos because that day was cooler, you didn't want to be a weirdo who spies on people but you couldn't help but look askance when he put on his poncho in front of you. It looked so cute on him. They jumped off the Mantis that had already boarded and landed on the ground. It was a quite jungle place full of bushes and wild plants. You headed again to a kind of cave but this time illuminated because it had no roof, Cal and BD1 never left your side. You could see that there was a giant spider web on the ground, how disgusting.

"Be careful, there may be giant spiders here." Cal said, pointing to the spider web that you had seen and a look of concern tried to appear on your face but you suppressed it.

Another time you had to climb a wall, by this time you had already practiced jumping and climbing so you could handle this. When they reached the top they saw a kind of machine that Cal touched with his hand and a long rope was deployed above you, a zip line.

"BD1 would you do the honors?"

Cal looked at the droid that was on the ground, when it did a small cartwheel and then jumped on the redhead, Cal laughed amused.

"Wait, wait, do the honors for what?" You asked suspiciously and confused.

"Oh right, I hadn't told you. We will cross to the other side with the help of BD1"

The freckled redhead pointed to his little droid friend and he jumped up to grab the cable. BD1 beeped letting them know it was ready and waiting for them to grab onto it. You stepped back, if there was something that scared you more than the darkness it was heights, you had a lot of vertigo. Cal turned to look at you and saw you so serious and scared that he approached you worriedly to take your hand. And there the butterflies began to flutter in your stomach. He guided you towards the zip line slowly with tenderness, love and patience as if you were a child.

"Come, hold on to me." Cal raised your arms to put them behind his shoulders. My God, you felt like you were going to faint. You shyly wrapped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his strong arm around your waist, pressing you closer to him, you gasped in surprise.

"I'm sorry". He said modestly

"No!, I mean, It-It's ok"

Your head was on the opposite side of his, looking back and although you couldn't see his face you felt him smile in amusement.

"Alright, are you ready?"

Resting your head in the crook of his neck you nodded wordlessly. He affirmed his grip and when he told BD1 that they were ready you closed your eyes squeezing them. BD1 moved quickly and soon you felt that your feet were no longer touching the ground, you screamed scared but you knew that nothing would happen to you having Cal by your side. You opened your eyes a little and adrenaline invaded you, your hair was shaking from the speed and your breathing was short, you felt a rollercoaster in your stomach. When they reached the other side you felt a little dizzy as you got out of Cal's arms, you staggered a little still in shock and he quickly grabbed you by the shoulders.

"all in order?"

Cal looked at you attentively looking for any sign of discomfort but you were smiling almost laughing, the zip line ride had been more exciting than you thought and soon fear gave way to excitement. You looked at him and nodded, your hair was messy. He laughed and gently smoothed your rebellious locks that were sticking to your face, gently brushing them aside. The soft touch of his fingertips on your face and forehead sent an electric current again, this time throughout your spine. And damn, he didn't even know it and maybe he never will.

And here you were now, sitting at the desk in your room with BD1 staring at you sitting on the table to one side and with an old paper like a papyrus and a pencil in your hand and your mind blank. You sighed frustrated, you thought it was time to confess to Cal but you weren't good at talking, expressing your feelings. When you wanted to speak to him you couldn't find the right words. But you were better at writing than talking, a love letter would be an easier way to put your feelings in order without the pressure of seeing Cal face to face. Or so you thought. You still didn't know how to start the letter.

Dearest Cal

You huffed in annoyance, it was too formal. After all, he was your friend, not a stranger. You tapped the tip of your pencil against your head, thinking of new ideas. BD1 next to you had no idea what you were doing, you certainly didn't understand his language but it wasn't difficult to figure out what he was saying since the white droid looked with his head tilted at the paper and then looked at you.

"I'm writing a letter to Cal." BD1 looked at you as if waiting for an explanation.

"Yes, to Cal. A...love letter". The little droid jumped excitedly, you laughed.

"It's been a while since I had to confess my feelings to him but I didn't feel up to it, so I thought a letter would be easier. But don't tell him anything, promise."

BD1 nodded his head standing firm which made you smile tenderly. You closed your eyes and exhaled air through your mouth. You decided you wouldn't think so much and just let the pencil guide your hand. After letting your emotions and thoughts flow, the letter looked more or less like this

Cal I hope this letter reaches you on time and is not too late. I can no longer hide what I feel for you, I think I like you. And not as a friend, I really like you. I don't intend for you to feel the same way about me, I just wanted to let out what I feel and clear my mind and heart. Your always friend, Y/N

You put your pencil down shakily as you folded the paper into four. With your heart pounding in your chest like a drum, you could only hope that Cal wouldn't take it the wrong way, and even better, if he also felt the same as you. Suddenly you heard footsteps behind you and your friend's voice calling for his company droid. Pale, you quickly and clumsily shoved the paper into your pocket just before Cal entered your room.

"Hey here you are, I looked for you all over the ship!". He came up behind you as you turned around in your seat with a forced smile, dying of nerves inside. On the other hand the droid gave a happy beep. Cal noticed you and added, smiling.

"And it's good to see you too, we'll wait for you for dinner"

You responded that you would be there with an awkward laugh. Cal walked away from your room and you breathed a sigh of relief again, BD1 was still attentive to you.

"Here, take this to Cal, leave it in his room where he can see it please. I'm counting on you."

You handed him the folded letter and as if he were an agent on a special mission, the little robot ran towards the freckled man's room without being seen. You stood up laughing but then the smile faded from your face. What if Cal didn't feel the same way? You tried to push away those harmful thoughts. You took a deep breath to calm yourself and bravely left your room. And may the force be with you

The dinner was exquisite, the atmosphere was warm and familiar. It really felt like a united family. Cal couldn't stop making jokes and you laughed at everything he said or did with dreamy eyes. This did not escape Cere's attention, of course. After dinner you offered to wash the dishes with her.

"It seems like you and Cal get along well." She said casually

You stood looking at her confused with a plate in her hand and the sponge in the other dripping soapy water.

"Cal gets along with everyone, he's like that.". You said downplaying it

"Yes, but I could notice that he spends more time with you or looks at you in a peculiar way. Mmh, I wonder why that is?"

"What? Seriously?"

You couldn't help the astonishment that formed all over your face and voice. Cere had made you fall into her trap.

"Ah, I knew it! You like him, kid!"

"Whaaat? Me? pftt, I don't think so"

You cleared your throat and forced a strangely high-pitched voice that wanted to sound disinterested. But Cere wasn't stupid and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"I meant it. I've seen how Cal gets closer to you than the rest. Talk to him, I think the feeling could be mutual"

This fanned the flame of hope within your heart. You thanked him and went outside to practice with your cane. Cal was already in his room. You remembered the letter. You trembled nervously and ran out of the ship.

The sky was a beautiful twilight orange color. The afternoon breeze made your hair wave. You firmly gripped your staff and began to swing it in your hand, attacking and blocking an invisible opponent. Meanwhile Cal was sitting on his bed thinking about resting for a while when he saw a paper on his nightstand. He took it and unfolded it, when he began to read his heart began to accelerate. He quickly searched the entire ship looking for you, seeing you practicing outside he decided to approach. You were trying to spin your cane in front of you and wave it at the sides of your body but you were hitting yourself or dropping the cane.

"You're doing it wrong"

His deep voice behind you made you jump and throw the cane onto the grass. Laughing, he approached you and with the Force he attracted the cane that you dropped to his hand. He always boasted about his gift. Cal stood behind you, pressing his body against your back. Your breath hitched for a moment. He placed the cane in your hands, taking you by the elbow and guiding your arms forward. His head was close to your neck and tilted forward a little so he could see your hands. His chest pressed against your back made your ears turn red.

"Hold the cane firmly and do it like this"

His breath tickled your neck and shoulder and made you feel electricity. Cal guided your hands by placing his on top of yours. His hands larger than yours maintained firm but gentle contact and together they moved as if they were a single wave, as if they were practicing a dance learned by heart. When you were finally able to do the maneuver you wanted to do with your cane, he congratulated you without leaving you and you turned your head to look at him happily. When you turned to look ahead he took advantage of this and got closer to your ear.

"I already read your letter"

His whispered voice near your ear made your mind go blank and you worriedly bit your bottom lip hard. You turned to face him with your eyes lowered.

"Yeah about that, I-"

Cal grabbed your cheek forcing you to look at him, you could feel your cheeks burning as you opened your eyes enormously.

"Shh, You don't have to say anything. Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I was afraid, afraid that it wouldn't be reciprocated. You are the sweetest being in the galaxy and when I'm with you I feel complete and I didn't want to-"

You started talking so fast and you were getting so nervous that Cal closed the distance by grabbing your cheeks with both hands and crashing his lips against yours. It was a tender kiss, his shy lips barely touched yours for fear that you would reject him. He broke the kiss, looking at you expectantly.

"Don't stop." You exalted with drunken love eyes and his lips

Cal placed his hands on your hips and you moved your hands up to the collar of his shirt, deepening the kiss. Now his mouth covered much of yours with more confidence, but it was still delicate like everything about him. From the ship Cere looked mischievously from the window

• • • • • • •

[chloe-skywalker]

It's Over - Cal Kestis

Cal x Fem!reader

Warnings: none that I know of 

Word count: 488

Summary: Cal seeing you having a nightmare. 

Authors Note: Sidenote I’m so pissed that I have to get a new xbox system just to play the second part of the game that came out. Thinking of getting the playstation 5 instead.

Masterlist

STARWARS Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It’s late kid.” Greez spoke up seeing the redheaded Jeid walk into the communal part of the Mantis.

“Just getting a drink.” Cal smiled at the pestering.

On his way back towards his room he passed Y/n’s room and he heard whimpering. Cal stopped in his tracks and listened. As he heard her continue to whimper in what sounded like pain, Cal decided to enter her room.

When he entered he saw Y/n in the midst of a nightmare. Cal walked over to her and sat on the bed, Cal placed a hand on her back. “Hey Y/n.”

Cal shook her lightly but when she didn’t wake up he tryed again. This time shaking her harder. “Hey, hey, hey wake up. Come on, wake up Y/n.” He pleaded as her whimpering got louder.

Y/n jolted awake breathing heavily, once she was able to focus she focused in on Cal. “Cal?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just me.” Cal nodded trying to reassure her it’s just him and she is safe with him.

“What are you doing up?” She furrowed her brow in confusion hoping she didn’t wake him up. Not with nonsense. It’s for her to deal with and get over.

“I was getting a drink, when I passed I heard you having a nightmare. Are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it?” Cal asked her, worried about her. Her dream had her so upset in it and when she first woke from it, he knew it had to be bad.

“It was more a memory than just a bad dream.” Y/n tells him with a sigh and then she scoffs hating that it still affected her so much. Looking towards Cal with a grim expression. “Order 66.”

“You know I still get nightmares about it to.” Cal scoot’s closer to her it was true that kind of experience scar’s a person.

“You do?”

Cal nodded, reaching out for her hand and clasped them together. “Yeah. How can we not after what we saw and went through.”

Y/n shook her head exhausted mentally and emotionally. “I hate reliving it. I just want to forget about it or at least not have to think about it.”

“Me too. Maybe we can help distract each other.” Cal gestures to lay down next to her.

“I’d like that.” Y/n nodded moving over so there’s room for him to have some space to stay the night.

After both of them got comfortable, Y/n spoke up. “Hey Cal.”

“Hmmm.” Cal hummed, looking to her for her to continue.

“Can you stay?” Y/n really hoped he’d stay for the night so she didn’t have to be alone.

“Yeah, I can.” Cal smiled leaning back. Cal decided to pull Y/n on top of him and as close as possible. “You can fall asleep Y/n. I’ll be right here. It’s over, Order 66 is over.”

Taglist:

@gruffle1 @padawancat97

[geekywritings]

“You took everything from me”

Trying my best at a request from @christinaatyourservice92​

I changed it a little and hope it’s still fine!

Reader and Cal are together, but when Cal fails to return after a mission, reader’s world breaks down. And she is willing to go to the extreme.

No worries, there will be fluff!

_________________

For years, all had seemed lost. You had managed to escape the massacre on Dathomir thanks to one of your sisters, but she had died shortly after you had landed on a planet you had never heard of before.

You were a child, alone, scared and orphaned. You had no clue how to survive outside the sisterhood, but you had to learn. To honor their sacrifice and to take revenge one day. You started as a thief, using the magick talents you had been taught for as long as you could remember. And while your control wasn’t perfect, it grew every day. Soon, you could steal from the shadows, items floating into your hands with ease before you disappeared in a flash of green.

Eventually, you had earned quite the reputation on the planet and decided it was safer to leave. Especially when the Imperial presence began to intensify. To your horror, it was the same on every other planet you went to. People being oppressed, abused or even slaughtered. What had happened to Dathomir was happening everywhere else in a way. It made you want to do something about it.

That’s how you ended up crossing paths with the rebellion and ultimately with the Mantis Crew. To your delight, you discovered one of your fellow sisters alive as well! Merrin helped you settle into life in the group and soon, they were your family. But one member had stood out from the start: Cal Kestis. A survivor like you, a victim of the Empire’s endless thirst for blood. And soon, your strongest driving force and brightest hope for a better future.

You admired his fighting spirit, while still showing kindess and mercy where appropriate. He was soft and gentle, but also determined and firm. He was balanced, you realized one day and it helped you find your center as well. The desire for revenge would never extinguish, but thanks to Cal, you learned to channel it into doing good.

For years, you fought side by side, dealing the Empire damage in various ways, until your little group split up. Merrin wanted to see the galaxy, as you had done, to learn her own lessons. Cere had put her heart into a new mission and Greeze decided to settle down for a while. It left Cal and you to continue the fight alone…

During that time, you became more than allies. More than friends and even more than lovers. There was a spiritual connection that went beyond normal love, you thought. He was your everything, as you were his. Yet every moment together was overshadowed by the horrible chance of either of you being taken or killed by the Empire. At the same time, neither of you even considered abandoning the mission. It was all you knew at this point.

And then the day you had feared came. The two of you were doing a job for Saw Guerrera on Coruscant when Cal didn’t show up at the secret meeting point. You waited, thinking he might have been delayed, but hours passed and there was no sign of him. At that point you realized that something must have gone horribly wrong. No signal over the com link, the connection completely dead.

You focused on your magick, trying to feel his presence somewhere. It had worked in the past, but not this day. Panic rose in your throat, as you gripped your staff tightly. The wave of sorrow that followed a moment later was strong enough to bring you to your knees. You didn’t want to cry, hated doing so in any situation, but right then the tears would not be stopped.

You had lost Cal. The one person that had kept you moving forward. That had made you believe that things weren’t hopeless. You would never see his smile again. Feel the warmth of his embrace. Hear him moan your name during long cold nights. He would never again hold your hand when you felt lost.

The feeling of utter loss was threatening to overwhelm and cripple you, but you couldn’t allow it to. Instead, you channelled it all into anger and determination. They would pay for it.

Your eyes fell onto the senate building. Cal’s part of the mission had been to retrieve some information from there. You didn’t care about the weaponry details. You would turn the entire place into ashes. You had the power to level the entire structure, you knew it. Felt it in every fibre of your being.

Using your special powers, you went in mostly undetected. You did re-appear here and there to take down guards and destroy security measures, as well as protected doors. A trail of death and destruction behind you, you finally made it to the Sentor, sitting at his desk, staring at Cal’s lightsaber on his table.

Your appearance in his office had obviously surprised him, as he jumped up with a gasp.

“Who are you? What do you want from me?”

“To kill you.”, you replied, green light forming around your hands, spreading like toxic clouds. “You took everything from me. Everything. So I will take everything from you.”

“I don’t even know who you are!”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care who you are either.”

The ground began to shake as you called more and more from your power from deep inside.

“You are going to get yourself killed as well!”, the man yelled.

“And you think I care?” You didn’t at this point. You would bring this entire place down and if you died in the process, so be it.

“I care, though.”

The voice had you freezing instantly. No, it couldn’t be!

Slowly you turned, coming face to face with Cal. He was holding his injured arm and a trickle of blood was making it’s way down his face from his temple, but he was alive! Breathing! Real! And he was there!

“Sorry, love, I got held up a little.”, he apologized, as you tried to blink away tears of relief.

The green glow began to vanish, as you felt the anger seep away. This was no time for a proper reunion however, as suddenly the Senator reached for a gun, aiming it at you. Cal was quick to act however, calling his lightsaber into his hand and easily moving in front of you to deflect the laser right back at the Senator. The politician’s reflexes weren’t so good and so he had no means of escaping the deadly shot he had fired.

“What happened to you?”, you asked, managing nothing more than a whisper. Cal meanwhile moved to the Senator’s desk, asking BD to download all important files.

“You know, the usual. Imperials, Inquisitors and such. I hate to admit it, but a detonator managed to knock me out for a while…” He was trying to be non-chalant about it, but you could hear the fatigue in his voice. He was gritting his teeth, forcing his body to keep working to finish the mission.

BD-1 beeped, signalling that he had all the data and the Jedi turned to you. “Can you get us back to the ship?” Instantly you nodded and moved to reach for his hand before the three of you were enveloped by the green light.

A while later, you were back on the ship, tending to Cal’s wounds.

“Would you have really brought the entire building down?”, he asked after a long stretch of silence.

“Yes.”, you replied without hesitation, tying the knot on the bandages around his left arm.

His right hand went to reach for yours and you looked up at him, trying to discern his expression. There was an ocean of emotions in those green eyes. Fear, relief, love, determination and maybe even a speck of anger.

“I am glad you didn’t.”, he said. “Don’t ever do anything stupid like that. Not because of me.”

“I can’t give a promise like that.”, you admitted. “When I thought you were dead… Nothing else made sense anymore. Nothing else mattered.”

His hand had moved from yours to your cheek, stroking the markings on your skin with so much gentleness. “I want you to live, Y/N. For me.”

“I will live with you Cal. That I can promise.”

Realizing there was no arguing with you on that one, Cal just leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. “You are impossible.”, he exhaled with a sigh.

“So are you.”

A ghost of a chuckle escaped him, as he closed his eyes. “We do this together Cal. Till the end.”, you added.

“Together. Till the end.”, he repeated and suddenly his lips were on yours. Soft, slow, full of devotion. You would do this with him or not at all. But for now, you were just grateful that he was still there, holding you, kissing you. Your story was not finished yet.

[luckyjak]

headcanons about merrin x cal children

Cal and Merrin deserve to have like, 6 kids. Here are my headcanons about said babies:

Kata Akuna: First born daughter, adopted, human, Jedi. Never actually gets formally adopted by Cal and Merrin, nor does she call them Mom or Dad, but when she introduces people to them she says they are her parents. Does NOT sit still. Adrenaline junkie--always jumping off of walls (literally) and climbing things that shouldn't be climbable--much like her adopted father. The number 1 cause of Cal's gray hairs.

Cere Kestis: Second born daughter, biological, human/zabrak. Red hair, brown eyes. A FOUNTAIN of anxiety, always trying to balance being a Nightsister and being a Jedi. Eventually decides not to do either of them and, to the surprise of everyone, becomes a Senator in the New Republic. She and Leia are in the same political party but butt heads literally every day of their lives.

Llyana Kestis: third born daughter, biological, human/zabrak. Red hair, green eyes. Studies to be both a Nightsister and a Jedi, but actually works more as an academic. Does not think running around with a laser sword is all that impressive, really, but does use the Force to bring herself a cup of caffa when she's feeling lazy. Will one day be THE foremost scholar about Dathomir and the history of the Nightsisters. Wants to go to university so bad, and is the 2nd most cause of Cal's gray hairs after Kata.

Asana Kestis: fourth born daughter, biological, human/zabrak. Red hair, brown eyes. Autistic. Merrin wanted to name her Asaaj after Ventress; Cal didn't want to name her after a Separatist general; Asana was the name compromise. Studies to be a Jedi/nightsister but honestly prefers piloting and tinkering with droids. Gets SO MAD when Luke Skywalker blows up the Death Star because that should have been her, damnit! She could have made that shot! (even though she is like...10 at the time) Has made BDs 2 - 27.

Tanichka Kestis: fifth born daughter, adopted, torgruta. She's red, white, and gray. Merrin was on a mission to Nar Shaddaa and saw an orphaned three year old child, and went, "whelp, she's coming home with me, then." Doesn't talk about it with Cal at all: just shows up with an extra kid. He pulls an Arthur Weasley and wakes up one more and counts the heads at breakfast and goes "wait this one doesn't have red hair." Technically Tanichka is older than Asana, but not by much. She has the force sensitivity of a spoon; takes after Grandpa Greez instead and LOVES to cook. Opens a restaurant on Tanzalorr. Her second husband asks her "Was it hard? Growing up around so many people who were so special?" Tanichka rolls her eyes at him. "Was it hard having parents who loved me and provided for me even though I wasn't biologically theirs? Oh no, what a hardship," she hits him with a pillow. "It just meant I had to be very good at getting revenge, especially because I have four psychic sisters."

Jaro Kestis: first born son, last born biological child, human/zabrak. Silver hair, green eyes, tiniest little horns. Full on Jedi, uses a little bit of magic but is just so very in tune with the Force it's a little scary. Technically Kata's padawan, due to age difference. Gets murdered as a teenager by Kylo Ren when he destroys the Jedi Temple.

[namjoon-koya]

Chapter One: A new hope.

Summary: You grew up on Mandalore with your adoptive parent, you accepted the creed and lived the way as a Mandalorian as your buir taught you. Until the Great Purged happened that night you witnessed your entire home being destroyed, your buir laid down their life to save yours. You managed to get away from Mandalore and you wandered alone for a few years until you met Cere and Greez, Cere told you her plan about rebuilding the jedi order and taking down the empire. You wanted to avenge your family, your home so you agreed to help them. The last thing you expected was to fall for a jedi and follow him wherever he went.

Pairing: Cal Kestis X Mandalorian fem!reader. (I won’t be using Y/N as I will be mostly using you or she/her pronouns.)

Word count: 4.7k

Author notes: I’ve played through Jedi: The Fallen Order and wanted to write a series for it, hope you guys enjoy it! This series will follow the gameplay (with a few different dialogues so the whole reader fits in)

Warnings: violence, language, mentions of injuries.

You took the rag that was on the table and began to clean your blaster, you looked over at Greez who was currently cooking dinner for you and Cere. Greez would always cook whenever a big job was coming up, you assumed it was to calm his nerves about going headfirst into a fight with the empire. You couldn’t blame him though the empire has destroyed everything they deemed a threat to their empire, you still remember those di’kut coming to Mandalore and murdering anyone in their sight.

“Buir! We must go!” you shout as you go to grab their arm, even while you were never allowed to remove your helmet. Your Buir knew you were afraid; they couldn’t blame you though you were still only a foundling. “You have to be brave now adiik, you must run and get away from Mandalore.” “What about you?” Your buir didn’t answer you instead they gently bumped their forehead against yours, “This is the way.”

“Hey kid!” Greez’s voice was quick to snap you out of your memory “Yes Greez?” You said as you went back to cleaning your blaster, “I’ll leave your plate here so you can eat later.” You nodded; you never took off your helmet even after Mandalore. Even when you met Cere and Greez you told them it was part of your creed and it was the one thing that you were still able to hold onto, Cere understood and thankfully so did Greez. “We’re approaching Bracca.” You heard Cere’s voice from the cockpit, you place your blaster in your holster and move over to where Cere was.

“Remember we’re here to find a Jedi named Cal Kestis” She said informing Greez and you, “and what makes you so sure he’s special?” You asked Cere she gives you a small smile “You do believe in hope, right?” She asked, you were glad for your helmet because she would’ve seen the doubt on your face when she asked you that. You haven’t believed in hope ever since the Great Purge on Mandalore, you didn’t want to get your hopes up only to lose it again like you did when you were alone. As you were lost in your thoughts you heard a loud sound erupt from outside.

You quickly look out the window and noticed a few empire starfighters “Shit! Cere they must’ve found him!” You shout, “Look there!” Cere shouts, you look and see a starfighter getting ready to blast at someone, Greez was quick to shoot at the starfighter you rush to the opening of the ship and press the door open “Hey what are you doing?!” Greez shouts, you decide to ignore him. As the ship door opens you saw him quickly look over at you, “keep moving!” You shout at him.

“And who are you?” You roll your eyes, was this really the time to be asking that? “Just keep moving forward! We’ll find a place to get you on the ship!” He only nodded and Greez pulled away quickly, “another starfighter is after us!” He shouts as he flies the Mantis away quickly, you place your hand on the wall to keep you from falling.

“Shit! They shot the train! Get ready to help Cal!” Cere shouts, you nod. Greez positions the Mantis and you watch as Cal comes sliding down the train, you hold your hand out “You have to jump!” You shout and Cal did what you said, but he was barely able to grab onto the edge of the platform. “Hold on!” You shout as you try sliding towards Cal as he’s about to reach for your hand a sudden blast hits the mantis, “Fuck!” You shout as Cal’s hand slips making him fall. “Cere he’s falling!” You shout “Greez try following him!” Greez nodded and tried following Cal, shit you didn’t think he would survive a fall like that. You’d be surprised if he did “He’ll be fine, relax.” You heard Cere say from the cockpit, even with your helmet on Cere often could read your emotions.

“I see him, get the door ready.” Greez says, when you look out the window you see Cal fighting against an inquisitor. You knew it was the second sister you rushed towards the door and open it; you see Cal on the ground rubbing his head “Get on!” You shout getting his attention, Cal was quick to get on his feet and limp his way over to the Mantis. That’s when you saw her the second sister with her red lightsaber glowing, she tilts her head to the side as she stares at you. “Funny I thought Mandalorians were extinct, I guess the empire didn’t wipe all of you out.” You didn’t say anything, instead you pushed Cal inside and pulled out your blaster and began to shoot at her.

She managed to dodge it and even use her lightsaber to deflect them back to you, you weren’t worried about it hitting you. Your armor protected you well enough, but when you saw her running towards the Mantis you knew she wanted to strike you down with her lightsaber. You press a button to get the door to close “Cere, Greez! We have to leave now!” You shout, as she gets close the door finally closes protecting you from her lightsaber. You and Cal rush to the front and see the second sister jump on the ship, she tried getting control of the ship. The mantis starts to spin around you hold onto anything, so you didn’t end up falling. Cere was quick to help Greez get control back on the ship making the second sister fall off from the mantis, Greez quickly sent the four of you into hyperspace and away from Bracca.

You let out a sigh of relief as you go sit down, “okay, shut that thing off and grab a seat.” You hear Greez say from the cockpit, Cal shut off his lightsaber “thanks for the help, but who are you people?” Cal asked as he and Cere joined you, “My name is Cere Junda, and this is my captain Greez Dritus.” Cal looked over at you waiting for you to introduce yourself, you crossed your arms and only stared at him back. Cere cleared her throat “She’s a close friend of mine, she’s a Mandalorian.” Cere said and Cal only managed a small nod “Who was that back there?” he asked Cere, “An imperial inquisitor she’s a force user hunting down Jedi survivors and now that she knows who you are, she will not stop until she destroys you.”

“How do you know so much?” Cal asked, “And why’d you help me?” Cere stared at Greez and you “We track imperial communications; we heard the inquisitors were heading to Bracca so we made our move.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s the bounty on Jedi these days anyway?” Cal said as he crossed his arms, “Hey di’kut you’re allowed to leave anytime nobody is stopping you.” You said to him, Cere and Greez risked their lives to save him and that’s the thanks he has for them? You didn’t want to listen to their conversation anymore, you decided to get up and leave to your room. As you close the door you finally take off your helmet Maker you were exhausted from today, you lay in your bed and slowly began to close your eyes.

“Adiik?” You open your eyes and see your buir near the door “Buir? You’re home late.” You said rubbing your eyes, they nod “I was in a meeting with the others, we were discussing the ceremony for you to accept the creed.” Your buir saw the way your eyes light up in excitement, they chuckled “are you excited?” “Yup! That way I can finally go with you to different planets! I want to see different parts of the galaxy.” You didn’t know that the incoming days would be the last with your buir, you wished that the both of you weren’t on Mandalore when the Great Purge happened.

You suddenly woke up when you heard a soft knock at your door, you quickly put on your helmet and walked over to your door to open it. When you did you saw Cal standing there, he awkwardly rubbed the back on his neck “Cere is calling for us.” “I’ll be there.” Cal continues to stand there, before you could ask him what’s wrong, he quickly apologizes to you “Listen, I’m sorry about before… I was just being caution.” You sighed “Cal don’t worry about it I understand, trust me Mandalorian beskar goes for a high price too.” He smiles “we should get going before Cere becomes inpatient.”

You follow Cal out and see Cere standing near the hologram “You two are finally up.” She said looking at Cal and you, you already knew she smiling at the sight of seeing you and Cal getting along. “We’ll be landing in Bogano, I’m sure you remember it right?” she asked you “Oh how could I forget the adorable bonglings.” You say to Cere, “You thought those things were cute?” Greez asked, “Hey don’t be jealous just because one of them let me touch it while they kept running away from you.” You teased Greez grumbles and Cere just chuckles, as Greez lands the ship you follow Cere and Cal outside.

“A Jedi I knew discovered this place before the Purge, you won’t find it on any maps.” Cere explained. “The empire doesn’t know this place exist?” “No.” “So what’s the plan...We hide out here?” Cal asked. “We’re done hiding Cal. See that structure over there?” She pointed towards a direction where it seemed to be a tall tower, “I believe that vault holds the key to rebuilding the Jedi order, but it requires someone strong in the force to pass its test.” Cere said to Cal, “and since you’re not a Jedi anymore that’s why you need me.” “I know you don’t trust me and I’m not really sure I trust you, but we have a common enemy and a common cause I’ll share more of plan after you reach the Vault, but until then there’s someone here, I think you should meet.” Cere begins to walk towards the Mantis “May the force be with you both.” When Cere said that you quickly looked over at her, she wanted you to go with Cal? Before you could even ask her, she was already inside the Mantis, “Guess we’re looking for a Jedi then?” he asked you.

You could only tilt your head “I’m assuming so, but I can’t entire the vault with you.” Cal only nods “Then I hope you can keep up.” He teases. You rolled your eyes as you start following him, you noticed a few bonglings jumping from one hole to another. “Have you been here before?” he asked, “Yeah, but I’ve never ventured far it was only Cere.” You hear Cal hum in response, as you follow Cal he comes to a stop “This looks like a safe space to meditate.” You didn’t respond you watched as he sits down on the ground and closes his eyes, you made sure to remain quite as you didn’t want to disturb him.

Suddenly though you heard a small noise coming from somewhere, you placed your hand on your blaster getting ready to protect Cal until a small droid jumped down in front of you almost startling you a bit. “Maker you scared me little guy.” You said taking your hand away from your blaster and placing it on your hip, the small droid beeped again and looked at Cal. He was still meditating “he’s a little busy just give him a few minutes.” You say to the little droid he places himself in front of Cal patiently waiting for him, you hear Cal suddenly let out a sigh before looking down at the droid in front of him “Hey, BD-1 I’m Cal.” BD-1 responses back to him, “uhm yeah I’m okay, we’re just looking for someone.” BD-1 beeps again “No, not you. We’re searching for a Jedi or something like that.” Suddenly BD-1 jumps in excitement almost like BD-1 is telling you both to follow.

“Hold on, you know the Jedi? What do you know?” BD-1 doesn’t explain instead telling you both to follow again “wait! Hold on.” You watch as BD-1 slices a platform allowing a small bridge to pull out making it easier for Cal and you to climb the vines “maybe BD-1 could lead us to the vault?” You asked as you follow Cal “Hopefully it would make it easier to get there.” You hummed in agreement, as the both of you follow BD you noticed BD going into a cave-like home. You suddenly saw a creature attacking one of the bonglings BD quickly rushed to save it, but the creature only ended up attacking BD in the process. “Hold on BD-1, I’m coming.” Cal says as he lets go out the pole and rushing the creature with his lightsaber.

As Cal took care of the creatures you picked up BD-1 and examined him “Shit Cal?” “What’s up?” you showed Cal the damage that happened to BD-1, “That was pretty brave of you to protect the bongling.” Cal said to BD-1, BD sadly beeped back at Cal “wait I think I can fix him.” You tilt your head as you follow Cal, he uses the force to slow down a giant fan-like object. As you follow Cal inside you see a workbench, “Here give me BD.” You gently pass BD to Cal and that’s when Cal gets to work on fixing BD’s leg, “okay how’s that?” BD jumps on one leg to the other to test it out, he beeps happily at Cal before beeping at you.

“Nice job.” You said nudging gently at Cal’s shoulder. “Hm, I didn’t expect to get a compliment from a Mandalorian.” Cal said smirking at you. “Don’t get used to it.” As you and Cal start to find your way out of the cave you saw an area that looked like it leads outside, “Oh hey you found a way out.” Cal took out his lightsaber and was getting ready to cut the wires away, you barely noticed that it was electrocuted “Wait Cal!” it was too late to warn him, Cal flies backwards as his lightsaber connects with the wires. “Dank farrik!” you rush to Cal and gently help him sit up “I’m alright.” Cal said letting out a painful groan “No you’re not, Cal that could’ve killed you.” You’re not sure what you could give Cal for his pain, you forgot to bring your bacta.

You heard BD-1 let out a beep as he rushed to your side and Cal’s suddenly BD-1 popped something out “a healing stim?’ BD beeped happily “Nice BD.” You gently patted his head, Cal used the stim “that’s better, thanks little droid.” Cal said as he starts getting up “Okay, let’s try this again.” Cal goes to cut the wires again until he felt a tug on his leg, “Cal it looks like someone’s attached to you.” You said gently nudging his side “okay then, hop on board.” Cal said placing BD on his shoulders, “so how’d you get here?” Cal asked BD, BD responded “Don’t remember? I’ve never known a forgetful droid.” BD responded back “Well I can’t argue with that.”

As you followed Cal out you noticed at times, he would spot an area and hold out his hand, it confused you was there something that you didn’t, “Cal?” “Yeah?” “Do you see something I don’t?” You asked, Cal came to stop. “I can feel the force, it’s almost like an echo if that makes sense. It’s almost like I can read someone’s stories and emotions through it.” You titled your head “Can every Jedi do that?” You asked, “I’m not sure, I think it’s rare I was just born with it I guess.” You hum.

“That’s neat.” “Is it?” “You can connect to someone’s story; I think that’s neat.” You said to him, “I thought you told me not to get used to getting compliments from you.” You were about to make a remark at him back, until you saw how close you two were getting to the vault. “Here I think we just have to zipline down.” Cal said, you nodded in agreement “I’ll go first.” You waited your turn as Cal zipped line down to a cliff, you followed after. As you got to the cliff BD let out a few chirps, “I don’t think we can go that way BD.” Cal said to him, “I think I can get to that cliff using my jetpack, but I’m not sure if I would be able to carry you.” You told Cal.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll find my way up there. I’ll meet you there?” You were hesitating about it, Cere told you both to stick together, but Cal did have a lightsaber and BD with him. “Okay be careful.” You told him “Are you starting to warm up to me? I feel safer now being on good terms with a Mandalorian.” Cal teased again “CAL!” You got ready to punch his shoulder, but Cal quickly jumped down dodging your attack. You sighed as you flew onto the edge of the cliff, as you slowly walked towards the vault you realized it didn’t have an opening.

“How the heck is Cal going to get inside?” You mumbled. You decided to take off your helmet, Cal wasn’t here, and you were positive nobody was here besides you guys. The wind felt nice and so did the sun against your skin, as you looked out you started to realize how peaceful Bogano was besides the creatures who resided on Bogano. Maybe that’s why cordova decided to live here? You wondered what you would’ve been doing now if the empire didn’t take over, would you have traveled the universe to different planets or stayed on Mandalore? You heard a sudden noise and quickly you put on your helmet, that’s when you saw Cal and BD. “Hey! How’d it go?’ you asked as BD and Cal jogged up to you, “I… actually reconnected with the force.”

“Cal, what do you mean?” You three made your way to the vault as Cal started to explain to you what he meant, “after the purge and… the death of my master I lost my connection with the force, so I forgot a few of my training. Somehow, I was able to reconnect to the force and I picked up a trick.” Before you could ask what, he remembered the three of you were finally at the top of the vault. Cal placed his hand on what seemed to be a gold-like wall, you watched as he closed his eyes almost like he was focusing on it. Suddenly you saw the wall slide up, both you and Cal looked at each other.

“I should probably stay out here.” You told him, he only nodded “Be careful in there.” “You too.” You watched as Cal disappear inside the vault, as you patiently wait for Cal you noticed something moving in the water in front of the vault. You decided to go see what it was, you knew there were creatures on Bogano. Yet you haven’t encountered much of them or had to shoot at one, as you got closer a large creature emerged from the water and it did not look friendly at all. “Shit!” you shouted as you dodged out of the way as the creature tried attacking you, what in the maker was it?! You said to yourself as you focused on not getting crushed by that thing.

You took out your blaster and began to shoot at it, you’re not sure how many times you would have to continue to attack it before it finally left you alone. As you tried dodging its attack again it was able to graze your leg, you let out a painful grunt. You heard someone running behind you, it was Cal he quickly turned on his lightsaber and attacked the creature. “Are you alright?” he asked as he stood in front of you guarding you in case the creature tried attacking you again, “I’m fine, it was just able to graze my leg a bit.” You said as you stood up, “I can still fight if that’s what you’re asking.” You pointed your blaster at the creature and that’s when you two began to attack it, thankfully with Cal at your side the fight didn’t last too long.

“Do you need a stim?” Cal asked as he turned off his lightsaber, you notice his eyes scan down to your leg. “I have bacta back at my room, I’ll be fine. What did you find out?” You asked as you place your blaster away, “There’s a holocron that contains the future for force-sensitive children.” When Cal told you that you could see the way his eyes light up in happiness “Cal, that’s great.” You said as you both made the journey back to the Mantis, once arriving back you saw Cere outside waiting.

“You passed the test.” “So, you knew about BD-1?” “C’mon board, we’ll take inside.”

You and Cal made your way inside the Mantis, once inside BD-1 jumped off Cal’s shoulder “Oh, BD-1 this is Greez. Hey, Greez.” Cal said, BD-1 quickly jumped on the sofa “what is that?” BD-1 chirped “Get off my sofa! Get… Get off my sofa! Go! Get outta there, Get out!” Greez said as he chased BD-1. BD-1 quickly took cover on your shoulder instead of Cal’s, almost like he was telling Greez that he has a Mandalorian to protect him. “That’s BD-1.” Cal said look over at you both, “He’s with us.”

“I don’t care who’s he with. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get oil stains out of potolli-weave fabric?” “Not really.” Cal said as he walked away from Greez and stood near you and BD-1, “Oh, I hope you found something better out there than this droid.” Greez complained, “Oh calm down greez he did.” Cere said.

“Tell us Cal.” “The vault was built by an ancient civilization called the Zeffo, A Jedi named Eno Cordova hide something inside of it.” “What did he hide inside?” Cere asked. “A holocron from the archives, it contains a list of force-sensitive children.” “The next generation of Jedi. I knew it! Ah Cordova you old fool.”

“You knew him?” Cal asked, “Yes, a long time ago. I was his apprentice. Cordova was a loner, that little droid and I are probably the only ones that know about Bogona.” Cere said. “Hold on, wait a minute, wait a minute. A holo-what?” Greez asked. “A holocron, it stores information, but only accessible to Jedi. Hang on I think I have one around here.” Cere said as she left to go grab it, the four you follow behind. Cere holds what seems to be a small box, she hands it to Cal “Use the force.” As Cal focuses on it, the box begins to open.

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen…”

The box closes ending the message, “with that list of force-sensitives, we could rebuild the Jedi Order and defeat the empire.” “Okay no problem. Let’s get it.” Greez says as he starts walking towards the cockpit, “Expect the holocron is hidden deep inside the Vault and to get it we have to follow Cordova’s path, he mentioned something about the planet Dathomir and a Zeffo homeworld.” Cal explained “Alright, well where are we going? I’m just asking, ‘cause I was thinking of maybe making some food.” Greez said.

“Look, before we do anything. I need to know something.” Cal sat as he looked over at Cere “How come you’re no longer a Jedi?” You watched as Cere casted her eyes down “I had an experience that… changed my perspective, So I cut myself off from the force.”

“But you still want to rebuild the order?”

“I believe that rebuilding the order is the best chance we have against the Empire, what do you believe?” Cere asked Cal, you saw he hesitated to answer before saying “I believe I can’t keep hiding from the Empire. So, I really don’t have a choice.” “Cal as long as you’re alive you will always have a choice, are you with us?” Cere asked, Cal looked over at you then to BD-1 who was still perched on your shoulder. “We’re in.” he said as BD-1 chirped happily “Dathomir or Zeffo? It’s your choice.” Cal walked over to the Holotable and picked Zeffo for the next destination “Hey kid, what happened to your leg?” Greez asked, shit you forgot all about that “some creature, I’m going to go clean it up.” You say as you leave to your room, you placed BD-1 down on your bed. You go to take off your helmet until you realize BD was with you, but… it wouldn’t count right? He’s not a living thing technically. BD-1 beeped curiously, you slowly take off your helmet and place it down on your bed, you watch as BD-1 starts scanning it.

“Do you have a thing for studying things?” you asked, and BD-1 chirped, “I’ll take that as a yes.” You say as you find the bacta and start cleaning your leg, “Maker I didn’t realize that it got me that badly.” You say to BD, you heard a knock on your door “Busy come again later.” “It’s Cal is BD with you?” he asked from the other side of the door, you picked up your helmet and put it back on before opening the door for Cal.

“Sorry I couldn’t find BD anywhere.” “No worries he was just watching me try to clean up my leg, apparently he likes scanning things.” “I’ve noticed.” Cal said as he walked inside your room, “Hey I can help put the bacta on your leg.” He said as he starts kneeling to where your leg was “Don’t worry I can do it.” For some reason though Cal didn’t get up instead he held his hand out waiting for you to hand him the bacta, “Cal… you’re so stubborn.” You said as you handed him the bacta, Cal is careful to extend your leg a bit towards him. He starts to gently clean at the wound, as Cal was focused on your leg, he didn’t notice you staring at him.

Usually whenever you got an injury you never really allowed someone to help you, but why did you allow Cal to help you? Maybe it was because he insisted on helping you while others would allow you to do it yourself? Who knows you decided to look over at BD who was staring at Cal, “done.” You heard Cal say, “nice work on the bandages.” You said as you lifted your leg onto your bed “I think I did a pretty good job.” “You did, thanks for helping me.” You say to him, “you’re going to rest for a bit?” he asked.

“Yeah, the trip to Bogona tired me a bit.” Cal nodded “I’ll let you know when we get to Zeffo.” “Thanks Cal.” You heard your door open and the close, you made sure to lock it before removing your helmet and placing it on your workbench. Your eyes start to slowly close and you start to dream of your childhood on Mandalore.

[dexthtoyounglings]

Definition of Peace

Cal Kestis x Reader

(Chapter Five of Defintion)

Summary: Definition of Peace: freedom from disturbance; tranquility.

Warnings: none!!

•--•

You didn't know if it was the atmosphere or the planet itself, but Cal had told Greez and Cere that we would rest on the planet for a day longer before leaving to our next destination. It didn't take anything for you to be on board with that plan. Before boarding The Mantis after returning, you swiftly removed the folded paper and tucked it into the waistband of your pants, handing back the satchel filled with goodies.

It itched your brain the whole night; the anxiety, the curiosity.

The overwhelming feeling that you had just grabbed the puzzle piece of a different puzzle. Or a piece you simply didn't want to use in the first place.

Of course you wanted to know who you were. But you felt a shock jog through you along with the anticipation - what if you didn't want to be who you were meant to What if you wanted to be the girl with her new crew that never knew her full name? The girl that would make her own when the time came. The girl that was finding herself, even if she was finding the version the universe hadn't originally intended.

You took a seat on the curved couch farthest from the opening of the ship, watching Cere come out from her respective room to see what Cal had picked up. Meanwhile, Greez had only been interested in what Cal had bought from the fruit and meat stands.

"You know how rare this stuff is? You can hardly find a nice batch of jogan fruit anywhere in Corusant! They always price it at so high," Greez grumbled, grabbing the clear cannister of jogan fruit and making towards the kitchen.

Cere took out a cloth of scrap metal Cal had salvaged from some trinkets that were laid out in an alley, looking at some of the parts with an interest that you couldn't say you reciprocated. A few loose bolts that she separated into her hand she used to pick at the scraps, curling her fingers around the parts loosely.

"Maybe you can use these to repair BD's scomp link. Would be worth a shot," Cere suggested.

"I'll check in the morning, if I start now I may never get to sleep," Cal said with a chuckle. He looked over at you, "Oh, that reminds me."

His freckled hands both dipped into the string bag that he carried on his back through the markets and pushed around some items he had purchased before pulling out a black utility belt. It seemed to clip on the side, and the opposite side had a large gun holster and few sewn-on pockets. It was brand new, all clean and untattered, making your eyes sparkle as you looked back up at Cal. You hadn't even remembered him buying it, but you remembered when he left you alone to scout. In that time, he must've seen it and quickly purchased it.

He stood in front of you with the belt in his hands. You tipped your head back, looking at the way his features were softer in the shadows away from main lights. He pushed his arms out, presenting the utility belt. Up close, there were a few loops in the front of it, allowing for things to be hung and attached.

"It's yours," Cal said, "I saw it, and I knew immediately it was yours."

You hesitantly reached both your hands out, one picking it up as if it was a fragile piece of glass. As you moved it to rest in the other palm, you ran your thumb over the rough material. Picking it up almost made you feel loved, realizing that this hadn't been something you had asked to have. Looking back up at Cal, you could only feel your body begin to go rigid and your face became wet.

Crying. You were crying again, involuntarily. "Why," your voice shook at the first word, "Why am I crying?"

You went to look over to see if Cere had any input on your emotions, but her and Greez were gone, as if they noticed your tears and left. Cal reached a hand out and touched your face, "Look at me."

You turned your head and followed his words. Cal smiled at you, rubbing away the tears with a thumb, "It happens, I think you've just been overwhelmed recently. How about we go outside for a little, there's something I want to show you."

Cal took the belt out of your hand and set it down on the cushion. Taking the cue, your body stood up straight, waiting for his next move. Your crying stopped, as if his touch and recognition of what was happening was enough to make you feel more in control. Maybe he was really what had been holding you together since you had finally started interacting with other sentients. Cal seemed to piece in the parts of the world that you didn't seem to always catch.

Taking you by the hand, Cal led you down the gangplank. You had left the ship just as the blue was draining from the sky, and replacing that was a new range of color. You watched how they danced across the horizon while waving the sun a goodbye. The sight was new, one you had never caught while lounging on Bogano. The paper felt heavy in your waistband now, but you weren't exactly ready to share it with Cal.

He sat down, pulling your arm gently to sit with him. His legs came to a criss-cross. Your own were pulled up, knees pressing to your chest as you allowed arm to hug your legs together. You kept your left arm extended to keep a grasp on Cal's hand. You didn't feel like you should let go, and Cal was making no movements to release you.

A peach color blended into a yellow, which faded into the pale blue of the sky. It was a view like no other, the fluffy clouds dusted with the reflections of pink and yellow, and orange starting to creep up on the other colors with it's intense hue. You never realized that the sky did that when the sun was setting. There was a word for what you were witnessing, but the more you begged for that word, the further away TeeZee seemed.

The silence that grew between you didn't feel as if it was filled by a thick fog, but instead was thin and content. You didn't need to speak, nor did you always want to. You felt Cal's presence through the way he watched the same sunset that you currently did. You were the first to break when it was time.

"I saw two people today," you noted.

You saw his head turn out of the corner of your eye, but you kept your watch on the sky. He was waiting for you to elaborate.

"It was two women. They were both holding hands, one of them was talking, and the other was watching her. They looked... they looked so happy. But not in..." you turned to look at him, both sharing the same gap that was once between your bodies, "not in a friend way. Not in a blood relation way. They were..."

"-in love?" Cal completed my sentence.

Your lips parted, like he had found the word but it felt foreign.

"Love?" you asked.

Cal's eyebrows ticked up slightly with the forest in his eyes deepening, like they were continuing to watch the path that was yourself. You only knew that you were getting lost in those countless trails.

"Do you know what love is?"

You paused, your eyes panning over his figure. Light-brown dots pressed into his skin and smeared across his hands a little. You mentally noted the way his nose would darken before the tips of his cheeks did, or the way his lips would go dry before his nose darkened.

You shook your head, and that rich forest suddenly got shallow, like Cal had found the right path to follow. And you were always following close behind. A blanket of silence fell over the both of you. It was like time had paused and it was just... you and Cal. You couldn't tell if the world had stopped spinning for him as well, but you hoped you weren't alone in that moment.

When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "It's a... difficult thing to describe. Love is when you care about someone a lot, but usually you know when you feel it."

"Have you ever been in love, Cal?"

He shifted his jaw, chewing at the skin on his bottom lip. "No. Being in love is different from loving someone."

The end of his sentence told you that he didn't know enough to answer all the questions that floated in your mind. You never put together how close in age the both of you were, young and human, still new to the universe.

A call of Cal's name made him finally look at you, seeing the way you intently stared at him. You thought maybe it would make him feel uneasy but it only pulled a smile from him. You returned it. He stood up and wiped off the back of his pants, "You can sleep in my bunk if the nightmares come back, okay?"

Your voice barely spoke up to his volume, a tiny confirmation to his question as he walked back towards The Mantis. The disappearance of his form into the ship allowed your hand to reach under your poncho and into your waistband, pulling out the crinkled paper.

They were still looking for me. They had to be looking for me. You barely convinced yourself. Unfolding the paper felt like edging yourself towards a steep cliff, trying to knock your legs out from underneath you. The name underneath the photo made you feel nauseous. The photo of your toothless grin, the first name, the ship, it all make the poster so much more real.

And there is was at last, a last name that fit you like shoes 10 sizes too big. It might have made sense at one point, but now it had no meaning, no correlation, it made no sense. You folded up the paper and shoved it back in the waistband of your pants, giving the sky your attention once more.

Maybe it made no sense to you, maybe you couldn't relate that name to anything but who you were meant to be. But you could relate it back to two people.

Your parents.

•--•

[multi-fandom-imagine]

As requested lol a “Force mate” au with our favorite red headed Jedi Cal Kestis. I low key love the “soulmate” au

A/n: I’m such a sucker for Soulmate AU’s

Also let me know if you want a part 2 of this fic.

You’ve heard it from your mother, these Force bonds. The bonds between two people, that they could communicate to each other between a great distance, speak to each other through their minds, touch each other, feel what they feel, see what they see through the Force, that you would know. It was something you wanted, something you expected when you were little, your soulmate.

That was until all the Jedi users, people that even showed signs of Force sensitivity were killed. That’s when you lost hope and when you went into hiding but then for you things can never be so simple can they.

It happened one day, you were trying to get off a planet. That Imperial Solider was getting to close to you for your liking but that’s when you felt it, it started out as a tickle in the back of your mind but then it became stronger.

A pull now, something was drawing you on and you knew you should be scared but you weren’t. It felt nice, good, you wanted to see the cause of this. You didn’t even notice until you saw him.

Mate.

Something whispered in the back of your mind and then he was standing in front of you. “Do I know you.”

You did your best to look at the man, he was taller than you but appeared to be the same age give or take a year though it was his red hair and green eyes that drew you in. You wanted to say something, say anything but nothing would come out.

Biting your lip you slowly rose your hand, him mirroring your actions.You could feel it, the electricity, the connection between the two of you. Your head titling to the side seeing a faint glow between your finger tips. You didn’t even notice him leaning in, capturing your lips then everything exploded.

You saw your future; your life with him. Moments of barley escaping the Empire, your wedding, his finger tips running along your spine. Whispers of a better future, a promise and children, they looked like you but they also looked so much like him.

Then it all came crashing down once you realized what had happened. Force pushing him, you didn’t think twice before you took off running.

Not looking back.

Your mind screaming, begging you to go back to your mate! To go back to him! But you didn’t, you just ran until you were far away from that village and far away from him.

+•+

Cal tries to calm his racing heart, his mind was running a thousand miles a minute.He couldn’t believe what he did but seeing you, it felt like you were meant to be his. He couldn’t figure out why he didn’t sense you sooner but now it was all he could feel.

He could still taste your lips on his, your body pressed into was imprinted on his mind. Memories? Flashes of the future still fresh, he did not know why he started to chase you but he did know that he had to find you.

For both your sakes.

[hannibalzero]

my brain went blank when I saw female bun buns have two uteri

huh...

It all becomes clear, how Leia and Luke could be twins and Cal Kestis be their brother and the same age! This is great knowledge you have blessed me with!

Geez Obi-Wan would be so mad, having to go through labor twice…depending on conception of corse? Maybe Healer Che knows a way to help the baby buns come all at once? (Space) c-section, twins normally come early so the force blessed Obi-wan with having Cal Kestis ready to come?

Possibilities are endless honestly.

Omg, rabbits tend to hide when their are ill, act like nothing is happening to keep safe.

Obi-Wan is very pregnant but the robes hide his large bump. Anakin has been on his own campaign since they’ve conceived. Such news should be told in person! It is the stewjoni way.

Anakin finally boards Obi-Wan’s ship, the force screaming at him about something. Like there was a damper on it. Busting into Obi-wan’s room to find the rabbit in his closet, an improvised nesting box. Ears and tail out, legs wide as he labors.

��️🐰❤️🐰❤️

[classicanalyzer]

Jedi Survivor Retrospective - Coruscant/A Hopeless Fight

"Someday when your children see this, they'll know the Jedi never stopped fighting for them." Cal Kestis

After an optional cinematic recap with amazing music, we begin the game with Cal seemingly captured as he sees the former Jedi Temple now the Imperial Palace of the Empire. Outside of LEGO SW media, I think this is the first time we saw the Imperial Palace in visual media. The opening of this game serves as a foil to the first game's intro where Cal is hiding and unsure of himself, now Cal is more confident and mostly in control of the situation.

Coruscant is as oppressive as ever as Sejan forcibly removes people who are already living in poor conditions to benefit himself. It's quickly made apparent that the Senator is way over his head as Cal quickly turned the tables on him. I really like the bond between Cal and Bode..however in hindsight, we know why Bode made sure to tell Cal that he's providing for his daughter. And I love Cal turning the Senator's quote against him into a defiant statement.

After Gab is killed, we see a glimpse of Cal Ketstis' inner darkness emerging as he approaches the Ninth Sister with Lightsaber in hand ignoring Bode and Bravo's calls to him. Even the music fades as Cal's intent on avenging his comrades is all he can think about. Cal even uses the same Force trick that Trilla used in opening Fallen Order on a gunship to achieve more successful results as Cal takes the controls.

Senator Sejan represents the corrupt politicians who traded democracy for "security" at the end of ROTS. Despite him claiming to do this for his people, it's clear with his lavish lifestyle and corrupt nature that he's really doing this for himself. I do find it funny how he was placed in the first trailer of this game as a major antagonist...when he was quickly dispatched by the Ninth Sister.

The Ninth Sister is revealed to be still alive after an ambiguous end to her fight in Fallen Order. Since then, she has become even more unhinged and rage-fueled, no doubt thanks to her humiliating loss at Cal's hands. A major theme for this game's villains is obsession. The Ninth Sister is our first look into that theme. It's clear she's been obsessed with killing Cal and it's all she wants to do. By the end, even when Cal tries calling out to Massana Tide (the Ninth Sister's true name), she can't break out of her obsession and what the Empire made her.

"It's time to set you free." Cal Kestis

Cal's growth is clearly shown as compared to the last game, he can better handle the Purge Troopers (interestingly wearing their Clone armor despite the game taking place in the same year as the Kenobi show) and even the Ninth Sister who went from being a major boss to the starter boss of this game. His dual blade stance now became a proper stance rather than just a few special moves.

Cal would also get along with Ezra on how the Empire uses their old photos for their wanted posters.

By the end, despite getting the intel, Cal feels hopeless about the impact he's making and has just lost his new family. With the Mantis now in dire need of repair, Cal has to seek out the original owner of the Mantis, Greez Dritus, who is now on the world Koboh. Little does he know that he will reunite with his old family in time.

I really love this section for capturing that bombastic SW opening action sequence. We also get to see how Cal is starting to feel the weight of the seemingly hopeless situation against the Empire.

[goosewriting]

Wherever you go, I go

summary: after reader and Cal are rescued from Bracca, reader questions whether they know him at all.

relationship: Cal Kestisx GN reader

warnings: none!, a tiny bit of angst sprinkled in there but mainly fluff

word count: 4.4k

A/N: i have the Cal Kestis Brain WormsTM and they will not leave me alone sdfsdfd this follows the first part of the game on Bogano pretty closely but not to 100% 

Navigation: Part 1 (you're here) | Part 2 | Part 3

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

You breathe in Bogano’s humid air deeply into your lungs as you stretch your back, stepping out of the ship onto the soft grass. The last 24 hours have been wild.

Around two years ago, you had ended up on Bracca, where you met Cal. You were both around the same age and Prauf had taken a liking to you both, so he had ended up introducing you to the redhead when you were new. They showed you the ropes of the place, how to properly use the machinery and tools, and pretty much everything you needed to know to be a scrapper. 

You had been dealt a bad hand early in life; it wasn’t without reason that you ended up on a planet like Bracca after all. You were on your own, needed a job, and the bounty on your head didn’t make it easy to hide, so you had to disappear. 

And yet, after everything that happened, you can’t help but think that it wasn’t all so bad, in hindsight at least. Because after leaving behind everything you knew, adopting a new name and taking the first ship to “as far as way as possible” from your homeplanet, it was like the universe dropped you right into Cal’s arms. Or at least that’s how you liked to think about it.

Ever since then, Cal and you became pretty much inseparable. In each other you found the friend and peer you needed right then. You were both pretty secretive about your lives thus far, but you knew that if there was anyone you’d trust on that heap of scraps, it was Cal for sure.

As time went on, you grew ever closer. You ended up telling him about how you had been on the run and needed to lay low for some time. Even if he didn’t tell you much about where he was from, you knew that if he wanted to tell you, he would, on his own time. And you were okay with that. You tried not to make up your own stories about him in your head, yet sometimes you couldn’t help but wonder. Whatever backstory your mind came up with though, never in a thousand years would you have believed the truth if he had told you, which you learned later and saw with your own eyes.

You think back to how that day had started and gone by normally, everyone working on their own thing. It was only on the train ride home that you noticed how weird Prauf was acting, and he and Cal were having a talk in hushed whispers, looking around nervously. You had made a mental note then to ask the readhead what happened later on, but you’d never get to that. 

From the moment the train stopped and Stormtroopers escorted you all out to line up, everything happened so fast; the Inquisitors talking about a Jedi traitor in your rows, Cal suddenly taking out a lightsaber, Prauf being killed, the whole train chase… Your memories are foggy, and you’re not sure if it’s because you’re having a hard time wrapping your mind around everything that’s happened, or if it’s because you understand exactly what trespassed, but are unwilling to accept it. For now, at least.

Cal had somehow managed to get you out of there, falling onto moving wagons, and ushering you to go on. He fought off the scary Inquisitor lady while you cowered away. Then a mysterious ship came to your aid, bringing Cal and you to safety. 

And now it turns out this Cere person needs Cal to go to a… vault of sorts? Because he is actually a Jedi, and needs to pass a test to help her on a mission.

Truly, what a wild 24 hours it has been.

Now on the swampy planet, you somehow convinced Cal to let you tag along. You really don’t want to leave him on his own right now, and to be honest, you also don’t want to be left alone with Cere and the Latero. You aren’t even sure yet if you can trust them. This whole situation is just… too much right now.

So off you go with Cal, making your way towards the first cliff in silence, breathing in the clean air and taking in the sight. Little creatures with big eyes hop around and out of your way, looking at you curiously. As you reach a drop, Cal jumps first, helping you down. 

When your feet meet the ground, you don’t let go of his gloved hand just yet. He gives you a questioning look.

“It’s the first time in a while that I’ve been off-planet,” you remark with a smile. “It’s so silent out here. I had almost forgotten what that’s like.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while for me too,” Cal says. “It’s nice out here.”

You two just look at each other for a moment, suddenly aware that it’s the first time in a long time that you’re alone, hidden from prying eyes. And there’s also the bantha in the room of Cal being a Jedi. 

“Thank you, by the way,” you speak genuinely. “For… taking me with you, and not leaving me behind.”

“I already lost a friend,” Cal says, and you see the hurt cross his face for a moment. “I wasn’t gonna let them take you too.”

‘Friend,’ you think, and bitterly smile to yourself as Cal turns and keeps walking, without letting go of your hand though. You look at where he holds you, heat starting to spread on your cheeks. You’re painfully aware that your feelings for him have developed into more. You’re not quite sure when it started, but they were solid. And as strange as it was, Cal being a Jedi suddenly seems like the last piece to a puzzle. Everything falls into place, finally making sense. It actually suits him, somehow. And you understand why he didn’t tell you. The memory comes back of how he fought with his lightsaber, and how good he looked while doing that. You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of those thoughts. You were actually planning on confessing at some point, but that just got pushed way further into the future. There’s more pressing matters right now.

You don’t want to force Cal to talk about his past or his abilities, but you do have to talk about what your plan is. Not entirely sure how to approach the subject, you start formulating some questions in your mind, trying to find the best way to word them. You don’t get to ask him though because Cal stops at the base of another cliff, removing his hand from yours, which you miss immediately. 

“This seems like a good place to meditate,” he remarks, more to himself than to him.

“Meditate?” you ask.

“Ah, yeah,” Cal says and kneels down onto the ground. “To, you know, connect with the Force. It’ll take just a minute.” 

And with that, he closes his eyes and starts evening out his breathing. You look at him for a moment, then decide to sit on a rock a couple steps to the side. It doesn't take long and Cal’s face starts twitching lightly, his brows furrowing. Wherever he is, you hope he’s alright. 

You watch him a little longer, then avert your gaze as you realise you’re just shamelessly staring at this point. Taking in your surroundings a little better, you take note of the rocks and their curious colouration, with several shades of reds and browns between the white layers.

Suddenly you hear little, mechanical steps approaching, so you stand up and turn around, your body getting tense in a fight or flight moment. But you immediately relax as you see a curious little droid approaching the two of you. It looks at you, then at Cal, and stands in front of him, seemingly waiting for the redhead to come out of his meditation.

Cal’s breathing starts growing shallow, with the slightest of whimpers, and you want to reach out to him, asking if he’s okay, but you’re not sure if it’s safe to interrupt his meditation. So you just sit next to the droid, who gives you a look and a beep you can’t quite understand; you’ve never been fluent in binary. 

With one last pant Cal finally opens his eyes and is met with your worried gaze and the droid. 

“You good?” you ask him.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he answers, and gestures to the droid with his chin. “Who’s that?”

“Oh, he joined in earlier. Looks like he was waiting for you to react,” you explain and the beeps sound like agreement to you.

“He says his name is BD-1,” Cal translates, then introduces you both to the little droid. BD gives another series of beep-boops.

“We’re looking for someone,” Cal answers, and BD beeps excitedly. “No, not you,” Cal says with a chuckle. “We’re searching for a Jedi. I think.”

BD jumps with a series of quick beeps, and hurries off.

“Hold on, you know the Jedi?” Cal asks and stands up. “Hold on!” he calls after the droid who is running ahead, and tells you to follow him.

You two navigate through the landscape of floating rocks and cliffs, following BD. He brings you to what seems to be a long abandoned hiding place. As you have to walk over a big pipe to get there, BD arrives first, and gets attacked by a rather ugly, maggot looking creature that was burrowing underground, and you see some sparks fly. Cal rushes to his help, getting rid of the creature and its friends with his lightsaber.

“BD! Are you okay?” you ask the droid, picking him up to inspect his leg, which is pretty busted. He beeps sadly. 

Cal joins you, taking a look at the droid to check out the damage, and you can’t help your heart skipping a beat at how he’s standing behind you, looking over your shoulder, and you feel the warmth radiating off of him. BD tilts his head at you for a second but you choose to ignore it, trying to convince yourself that droids can’t pick up on that kinda thing. 

“That was pretty brave,” Cal says to BD as he takes the droid from your arms. “And hey, I can help you with that…”

He brings BD over to a workbench, quickly fixing up the mechanical leg. BD seems to run some damage analysis as he stares straight ahead, then beeps at Cal.

“The vault?” he asks. “Yeah, that’s where we’re headed, too. Let’s go.”

“Uhm, what’s happening?” you ask, following behind the other two.

“BD says we have to go to the vault. He said he knows a Jedi, so, I’m guessing that’s where we’ll find them.”

“So… BD is a friend, yes?” you question further, lowering your voice so the droid doesn’t hear you.

“Yeah,” Cal answers, looking after BD that is rushing ahead to show the way. “I hope so…”

Trying to find a way out of the place, you two squeeze through a barely open door. There’s a hallway that could be your exit, but it’s blocked by some thick cables. You’re too late to notice Cal swinging his lightsaber at them; they’re clearly sparking. Before you’re able to stop him, he gets zapped and thrown back. You rush to his side.

“By the Maker, Cal, are you okay?” you ask, checking him for injuries. 

“I- I’m okay,” he groans, as he sits up. 

You’re about to give him an earful about being reckless when BD rushes to Cal’s side, offering a healing stim canister from a little slot on his cubic head. 

“A stim?” Cal asks as he inspects the vial. Looking up at you, he offers you the object with a lopsided smile; you’ve always been the one to patch him up. 

You playfully roll your eyes at him, taking the stim and stabbing it into his upper arm. 

“That’s better,” Cal sighs, and you help him get back to his feet.

“Thanks, little droid,” you say to BD, and he beeps happily.

“Let’s try that again,” Cal mutters, and you give his shoulder a squeeze.

“Without getting hurt this time, please,” you instruct, to which he chuckles, and you let him go. But BD is now holding onto his leg, beeping. Cal lifts him up and swings him over his shoulder, where the droid settles, and you see the happy little shimmy, which internally makes you go “aaw”. It really is an adorable sight. 

The three of you continue your journey to the vault mainly in silence. Cal makes a little conversation with the droid from time to time. You can’t understand everything but it seems that BD doesn’t remember how he got here.

At one point you get to what seems to be the last stretch towards the vault. You wonder how you will get across that narrow space, which essentially is just vertical, rough walls, in mid-air. You turn to Cal, about to voice your concerns, when you see that he touches the wall, and his eyes glaze over, staring beyond the walls into nothingness.

Is he… meditating again? 

You wait a couple of seconds, but he remains unmoving. Reaching up, you give his arm a gentle squeeze. 

“With persistence…” he mumbles, shaking his head slightly, seemingly coming back from wherever he was.

“Hey, you okay?” you ask him, stepping in front of him to have him meet your eyes.

“Yeah, all good. Just remembering old tricks…” he replies.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I just saw my… my old Master,” Cal explains with a slight shudder. “I was remembering my training, as a Padawan.”

Padawans. Jedi Masters. The Force. Those are all names you’ve heard growing up, but you never got to see one for yourself. You were too young to understand what was going on when the Clone Wars ended, but you did hear the stories. Some fantastical, others straight out of a horror holomovie.  

“Listen,” Cal speaks softly, taking both your hands in his, and your heart flutters as you look up at him. “I know this must be all so weird to you, and I promise I will explain everything. Just… I have to do this.”

“Do you though?” you counter. “What happened was awful but it was our ticket off of Bracca.” ‘We can start over again. Together’ is what you want to say, but it doesn’t seem like the appropriate time. “Why are you listening to a stranger?”

Cal hesitates for a second.

“It’s hard to explain,” he starts. “There’s just something coming from that vault, it’s like it’s calling out to me. I know you probably don’t understand, but please, trust me on this,” he almost pleads. “If anything is off, we’re leaving, I promise. But if there’s another Jedi… I need to know.”

You don’t trust Cere, or Greez. Maybe even BD, not yet at least. But you trust Cal. So you nod. 

“Just promise me one thing,” you insist. “Warn me when you’re about to meditate or think about your old Master. It’s a bit scary when you’re just… gone like that.”

“I will,” he promises with a smile, giving your hands one last squeeze before letting go.

“So,” you say after a while, looking at the vault which is so close, yet so far. “How are we getting there?”

Cal gives BD a sly glance, then looks back at you with that stupid grin you’ve grown to love so much. 

“Heads-up: you won’t like this,” he says and suddenly leans in, and you freeze. His arms snake around your back and under your legs, lifting you off the ground like you weigh nothing. “Hold on!” he quips. 

And with that he runs towards the cliff end, and you do hold on, for dear life. Cal skillfully runs along the walls, jumping from one side to the other, until he reaches the far end and hops onto safe ground once more.

He chuckles as he sets you back onto the grass, but you have to hold onto his shoulders a little longer until you feel safe on your legs again.

“Please never do that again,” you mutter under your breath, and Cal laughs. 

“C’mon, we’re almost there,” he remarks, gesturing towards the large structure with his chin. BD beeps happily. 

You walk next to Cal as you climb the rather steep mud path towards the vault. Up close, it is much taller than what it looked like from a distance. Still, you’re not sure what you expected it to be, but there really isn’t much… It’s just a giant tower surrounding a smaller column. That’s it.

“Huh, such a fuss over this?” you ask no one in particular.

“Hold on, I think I can get it open,” Cal says, and reaches up to touch the front panel. Closing his eyes, he focuses, and you can feel a shift around you as well as under you, as the ground shakes slightly, and the panel opens, revealing a dark and narrow passage. 

You inspect the passage, but you can’t see anything through it; it’s just a black void, and it’s rather unsettling. 

“I think you should wait here,” Cal states, giving you a reassuring smile. “I’ll be right back.”

“But–” 

Cal walks into the void, BD still on his shoulders, and you circle around the column to catch him coming back on the other side to make fun of him thinking that would lead anywhere, but he doesn’t come out.

“Cal?” you call, but there isn’t even an echo of your own voice to answer you. 

With a sigh, you walk back to the side where the redhead left in, and you lean onto the opposite wall, waiting for him to come back. The wait grows longer and your patience thinner, and for a second, you think that you just got ditched on this swamp planet, and you hug yourself. No, you tell yourself, Cal wouldn't do that.

…Right?

After what feels like an eternity, but probably was just a couple of minutes, Cal and BD finally emerge from the void again. You all but throw yourself onto him, hugging his torso. 

“What took you so long!” you say into his chest. 

“Sorry, I…” he hesitantly hugs you back, and you can feel he wants to say something but is holding back. So you look up at him.

“What is it?” you ask. “Did you meet the Jedi?” 

Cal just looks down at you, studying your face with an unreadable expression, and if you weren’t so worried by his silence, you would probably be very flustered by his gaze and how close his face is to yours. 

“Things just got a lot more complicated,” is all Cal offers as an explanation as he takes your hand, pulling you with him, out of the vault. “C’mon.”

“Wait, what?” you ask confused, trying to keep up with his hurried pace. “What happened in there?” 

“This is bigger than we could have imagined, I need to tell Cere immediately.”

That’s all you got out of him all the way back to the ship. BD kept looking back at you with questioning beeps, but Cal either didn’t hear or ignored him.

When you finally make it back to the Mantis, you’re out of breath. Cal’s pace was relentless when he was in a hurry, and he did carry you across some of the walls like before without warning, so you were looking forward to getting in there and sitting down for a moment.

“You passed the test,” Cere calls from the entrance of the ship as you approach it. 

You beeline for the corner bench behind the round table, where BD hops on as well, and is immediately scolded by Greez. Cal introduces everyone to BD, telling the other two that he’s “with us” now. 

Sitting down, Cal starts explaining what he learned in the vault. Some guy called Cordova hid a Holocron with a list of force sensitive children in the vault. The only way to get it though is by following his path, and the next leads are on the planets Zeffo and Dathomir. 

You’re still trying to wrap your head around this whole ordeal, when Cal asks Cere why she’s no longer a Jedi. She explains that an experience changed her perspective (vague much?) and she cut herself off from the Force. But she believes that with the holocron they can rebuild the Jedi Order, and in that way fight against the Empire.

When Cere asks Cal if he’s on board with the plan, he’s about to answer, but then looks at you, and you can see in his eyes that he wants to do this. So you give a short nod.

They come up with a plan, deciding what’s the next step, and Cere and Greeze disappear in the cockpit. You find an empty cot at the back of the ship and take a seat.

Your chest tightens at the realisation that Cal isn’t who you thought he was at all. That maybe you don’t know him at all, actually. But Jedi or not, he’s the guy you fell for. Behind whatever it was he’s been trying to hide all these years, there was a personality that was just unmistakably and often unapologetically Cal. And he’s become too important for you to lose. 

And now there’s this mission. A mission where, if you got things right, the weight of the universe will be placed on his shoulders. And it makes you angry, because that’s just not fair. There must be other Jedis out there that could do it, right? To make it worse, and you’re aware this might be a selfish thought, it makes you feel inadequate. Was Cal gonna drop you off on the next pit stop? You aren’t exactly an experienced fighter. You doubt they’d have a need for a thief on the run from the Empire. Would you be just a burden to him? 

Cal, who survived the Purge of the Jedis, and will now attempt to restore the Order. And you, helplessly in love with him, probably holding him back, because you’re too scared to lose him.

Just as there’s a voice echoing in your mind, telling you that you’re not enough, you feel a dip in the cot beside you. Looking up, you’re met with Cal’s worried gaze.

“You okay?” he asks softly. 

You slowly nod, but it quickly turns into a shake of your head instead. 

“I just…” You hope your voice doesn’t betray you, giving away the tears threatening to spill. “Everything happened so fast, so much all at once. And now I’m left feeling like I don’t know who you are.”

Cal is about to retort but you quickly add, “Wait, I didn’t word that right.”

So he waits for you to collect your thoughts.

“What I mean is, we’ve known each other for some time now. And I understand why you hid who you are. I just can’t help but wonder if the Cal I know is the real Cal or not?”

You dare bring your gaze up to meet his, and your chest tightens at the hurt look in his face.

“Because I like the Cal I know,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. “A lot.”

He gives you a smile, and you swear you can see the slightest shade of pink spreading on his ears and cheeks. 

“There’s only one Cal,” he says, leaning slightly to the side, softly bumping his shoulder into yours. “And he likes you too. A lot.”

For a second, you simply watch your hands in your lap, replaying his words in your mind. You see how his hand gets into your field of vision, folding over yours, and now your brain short-circuits for real. You look up to him, searching for regret or teasing in his eyes, yet you find nothing but affection and warmth. A warmth that spreads through your whole body, and has you taking a shuddering breath.

“So what’s the plan now?” you ask him after a while, giving his hand a squeeze that he returns. 

“Telling you the truth,” Cal answers. “And then you can decide if you want to actually be a part of this.”

“And if I say no, you’re just gonna ditch me?” you say with a playful scoff, but a slight panic still sneaks itself into your voice. 

“What? No, of course not,” he assures you. “I already talked to Greez. You can stay on the Mantis as long as you need. What I mean is… I want you to stay by my side. But I won’t force you to. We have a pretty ambitious mission, after all.”

“Fighting the Empire?” you ask rhetorically. “Been there, done that.”

“Wait, what?”

“Why do you think I have a bounty on my head, Master Jedi?” you say with a playful tone.

“What did you do?” he asks, genuinely curious. 

“Hmm,” you stroke your chin as if considering his question. “I’ll tell you after you tell me about your training and how you escaped.”

“Deal,” Cal says with a smile. “And I’m not a Master Jedi, actually. I only ever was a Padawan, an apprentice.” 

“Well you have some nice moves for an apprentice,” you chuckle. “And Master or not, you look good with a lightsaber.”

Cal lets out a strangled sound at your comment, face now several shades darker. 

You both turn when you hear steps approaching, seeing that it’s Greez. You instinctively want to remove your hand from Cal’s, feeling like you just got caught, but he doesn’t let you go. 

“Ah, I see you’ve found the bed,” Greez says. “It’s the only extra we have. We were counting with just one Jedi, after all.”

“Technically you’re not wrong,” you say, unable to meet anyone’s eyes and looking down at the floor instead. “We’ll figure it out.” 

“You’ll have to,” Greez answers with a smile as he doesn’t miss your joined hands, and turns to leave. “Come get some dinner, kids.”

Cal wants to stand up but you pull him back. He turns to look at you with a raised brow and you take the chance to plant a kiss on his cheek. You almost laugh at the surprise on his face.

“Wherever you go, I’ll go,” you tell him as you rise to your feet with a smile. “At least it won’t be boring, right?”

— — —

A/N: this may have the potential for a second part? if you'd like that let me know! ♥ // (screenshot is mine)

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [more info in my pinned post!] @dybynyght, @galaxtic-writings (sorry for the late tag!)

[grievedeeply]

Can I request a Cal x reader, where they were both working for Saw but got split up during the job on Coruscant. So we know that in rogue one Saw was hanging out on Jedha, so what if reader is out in the descent hearing to Saw’s place but runs into Cal instead? Idk I just need some Cal in my life. Thank you so much 💜

i'm loving all of these cal requests!!! this is such a cute idea :") hope you enjoy!

gn!reader | tws: death, SPOILERS FOR THE BEGINNING OF JEDI SURVIVOR + JOIN MY NEW TAGLIST!!!

you're here, we're here — cal kestis

you wondered if working for saw gererra was the right thing to do. of course, he fought for something bigger than himself, but you knew of the consequences of this sort of thing. if you were to be captured by the empire, you'd be killed. they'd keep it quiet, but you knew your death would come swift if the imperials were to get their hands on you.

you were scared of death. wasn't everyone, to some extent? you wondered what the afterlife would hold for you. was there even an afterlife at all? the act of dying wasn't what scared you, not really. it was mostly leaving those you loved behind. gabs, the twins, bravo. you met them all through saw gererra, and that was your favorite part about working for him. the people. their kindness and generosity, their determination to make the galaxy a better place. not just for themselves but for everyone around them. it was good to see something other than hate and cruelty remained.

they were your family.

until they weren't.

the job on coruscant had gone horribly wrong, in the end. what was supposed to be a simple extraction of information turned into a firefight.. and before you knew it, more than half of your squad was gone. in the confusion, you'd gotten split up from cal, bode and bravo, and you could only assume they were all dead, too.

lately, saw had been hanging out on jedha. even before your mission, he had started setting up some operations there despite the ever growing imperial presence.

so.. you returned to jedha completely empty handed, and down an entire team. your family. gabs, the twins.. you watched them die, struck down like they were nothing. they had names, they had lives and friends and they were loved. but no one understood that. all the empire saw was insurgency. all that inquisitor saw was cal, the one who had gotten away from her all those years ago.

you remembered the look on saw's face once you stepped inside. his grin immediately dropped and without a moment's hesitation, he took you by your shoulders and pulled you into his arms. you couldn't cry, not anymore. the entire time you were maneuvering through the streets of coruscant your eyes were welling with tears. the tie fighters shot at you as you escaped the planet and went into the stars.. and by the time you were in hyperspace, your face was soaked in tears. you sobbed the entire time, all the way up until your arrival at jedha, days later. you couldn't risk leading the empire back to saw, so you took a few rotations on some backwater planet to collect your thoughts— but what was left to think about?

you thought of gabs. her smile, her strange sense of humor that somehow always made you laugh. the twins and their insatiable appetite.. and the warm hugs they provided you when you were feeling down. bravo, who gave the best advice out of anyone on the crew. bode, your sparring partner. cal.. your best friend.

cal.. he was smart. 'he could've gotten out,' you told yourself. if he was captured he could've escaped. he was talented, he was brave. he was kind.. so kind. you remembered his hands on your arms, running them up and down your skin as a way to calm you, to ground you into the moment. it was a routine before you went out together. he would smile that same, big dumb grin, and reassure you that everything would be okay.

but that wasn't the case. not this time.

cal was gone. his beautiful.. gentle smile was gone. you would never see him again. he was dead or captured and you were the only one that made it out. he deserved to see the galaxy at a better state. he deserved to live. he deserved to grow old. thoughts of him and the rest plagued your mind like a curse, and no matter how many times you tried to push them and what happened away, they would come crawling back.

your work on jedha was light. saw was giving you time to recover, letting you decide if you even wanted to go back into the field in the first place. not only had his operation suffered a major loss.. but so had you. you had to watch it happen. until you made your choice, he had you doing whatever you needed or wanted. you could choose to sit around if you needed to. he had plenty of people to cover for everything. he knew you needed your space, so.. sit around you did.

you'd take walks occasionally, go to nearby cliffsides and listen to the stormtroopers beneath you chatter about whatever was going on in their lives. the familiar hum of their electro riot batons went in and out of your mind. they spoke of promotions, of their coworkers and their bosses, their plans, how much they hated jedha and wished they were stationed somewhere else.. but as they talked.. you envied them.

they were blinded to the empire's cruelty and injustices, but you? you had lost to them. these people knew nothing about the kindness your friends, your family, had shown. they would get what was coming to them.. but for now, you took solace in their stupidity.

this was one of those trips. you stood from your spot on the cliff, brushing off your pants with your hands, watching as dust fell from them back onto the sandy rocks underneath you. the stormtroopers were so oblivious to their surroundings, it almost made you laugh. you turned your back to them, ready to begin up the path you had come down before.

the trek was a decently long one. it was enough time away from base to clear your head and let your thoughts sit for awhile, and that was okay with you. you let yourself mourn through this walk.. and that was okay.

you groaned as you pushed yourself up onto the ledge, making steady progress towards base. you wondered if there was an easier way to get back.. but this distance was something you enjoyed. the silence was nice. it was good to be on your own sometimes, even if plenty of people had offered to come with you, you always turned them down. you knew they were concerned, but you needed time to be by yourself.

you brought yourself to your feet after climbing up, kicking a few of the rocks underneath your feet over the edge of the cliff. you looked down at the ground below you, wondering how far the drop was. you were surprised you hadn't slipped off, yet. you chuckled to yourself at the thought. you knew that, if cal were by your side, he would save you with his force magic. no matter how much strain it might put on him.. he would do it. there was no doubt in your mind.

but cal wasn't around.

a chirp in the distance, coming from the direction you were heading. you furrowed your brow. this path was supposed to be clear. who would saw send out at this time anyways? the sun was setting in the distance, the hues of pink and orange blending into the desert out beneath the cliffs. had he planned some sort of covert operation—

you stopped in your tracks. a droid..

cal's droid.

you'd recognize those colors anywhere. he stared up at you for a few moments before rushing towards you, climbing up your legs to rest on your shoulders. bd-1's head rubbed against your cheek almost as though he were some sort of animal. you grinned, leaning towards him as your hands reached for him. you took him off of your shoulder, holding him in front of you.

you frowned. how had he gotten here? did cal make it out? that wasn't possible. you would've heard something from him by now, anything—

"buddy, wait up!" you heard a voice call from down the canyon, and you froze, eyes wide. cal's voice. were you hallucinating? was this a dream or a nightmare? were you dead? why would bd-1 be here if you were dead?

before you could think on it any further, cal slid around the corner and turned to face you. his expression immediately softened as soon as he laid his eyes on you, and bd-1 slowly slinked out of your hands and back onto the ground, ready to watch your reunion.

he let out a shaky breath, one that even he could barely hear. his head felt so loud. after you'd gotten separated from the rest, he thought you were dead. he normally tried to stay as positive as possible.. you were clever, intelligent and knew just how to survive.. but it was a feeling in his gut that he couldn't shake that you didn't make it out.

he blinked a few times before he took a few hesitant steps towards you. your eyes filled with tears as you stared at him. he was real, he was in front of you. he was alive. before you knew it, cal's arms were wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest for a tight hug.

a soft sob escaped his lips, but he nuzzled his face into your neck, and all you could do was return the gesture. his crying pulled you back into reality. he was alive. he was okay.

it felt like an eternity, trapped in each others arms, soaking in the warmth that filled your chest as you reveled in his presence. you never wanted him to pull away, afraid that if he did he would disappear into the sunset behind him. but he pulled away, his hands resting on your shoulders as they always did.. and he stared deep into your eyes.

he pressed his forehead to yours, his fingers ran circles over your skin. what he always did to keep you calm.. and you couldn't help but cry. you let your eyes close, your hands reaching out for the fabric of his shirt. he was alive, and that was all you cared about. despite the insurmountable loss you'd faced that day, cal was alive and in front of you.

"i'm so happy to see you." you heard him say, and you nodded. his voice was coarse, rough against his throat. had he cried as much as you had? had he struggled with adapting to a life without you? without everyone? he'd mourned for you. you took his hands off of your shoulders, taking them in your own. this time, your thumbs ran over the back of his palms, caressing him as though he was about to break.

"cal.." you whispered out his name, your lips pressed into a thin line to prevent yourself from crying. his hands found your face, pulling you closer.

your heart ached in your chest, your breathing heavy. you let him touch you, both of you falling completely silent. finally, you opened your eyes, only to be met with his staring back at you.

he'd been looking at you all this time. desperation filled his vision, and his lips pressed to yours in a gentle, warm kiss. it didn't last for very long, and you resisted the urge to pull him back in as soon as his lips left yours. "i'm sorry," cal muttered, averting his gaze from you to look at the floor. "i don't know what came over me." he chuckled, breathless, feeling incredibly awkward as he sunk into himself. his cheeks were a bright red. he could feel the heat against his skin.

though, when he returned his eyes to you, you wore a smile. your face, still covered in tear stains, had a genuinely happy expression written on it for the first time in a long time.

you never thought you'd think of him in this way, but as you thought on it, you supposed you already had. you yearned for him in a way you did for no one else. you wanted him by your side. you swallowed, embarrassed.

"it's okay," you reassured him verbally before taking his hands in your own once more. they were rough, but surprisingly gentle. "i.. didn't exactly mind." you told him, glancing away from him as you spoke. it was strange to be this vulnerable, but you were glad it was with cal and no one else. he was so special.

he cared so much for people.. for you.

"really?" he asked without missing a beat, a youthfulness in his voice you had never heard before. you nodded, and he kissed your forehead, a sign of relief escaping his lips. he thought he had ruined everything between the two of you before even getting to talk to you.

"why.. why didn't you tell me?" you asked after a brief moments hesitation. of course, you were glad he was alive and in front of you, but you couldn't help but to ask. cal sighed, "i tried. comms were out. i tried to track you. i didn't find anything and i thought-" he paused, licking his lips. his throat suddenly felt dry. "i thought you were dead."

you couldn't even say anything, your mind focused only on the fact that he tried. he tried to reach out to you and that was all that mattered. you knew he would never leave you behind. "i had to.. find an old friend of mine. we had to fix up the ship." he swallowed, scratching at the back of his neck. "i'm sorry, i should've tried harder-"

"cal," you cut him off before he could say anything else, "all that matters now is that you're alive. you're here. we're here. you tried.. and that means more to me than you could ever know. believe me.. i tried to find you, too." you told him, eyes searching his face. "it's okay." you spoke up again, and his gaze finally met yours.

your breath hitched in your throat. he was beautiful. inside and out. he had a heart of pure gold. one that you hoped would never fade, that you knew would never fade.

bd-1 nudged at your foot before you could sink further into your daydream, and he climbed up onto his shoulders. you grinned at him, and then shifted your eyes to cal.

"come on," you murmured, taking his hand in yours. "i want to show you something."

the place you had mourned for him. yes.. but now, it was the place with a view you would share.

tags: @starwalkerwriting

[jinmukangwrites]

weep little lion man (3.5/14)

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Fandom: Jedi: Fallen Order | Survivor Rating: T Warnings: N/A Ao3 Notes: shameless plug, posted a very Cal whumpy one-shot and I'm very proud of it and I wanna promote it a little, consider giving it a try, anyways enjoy the new chapter.

Summary: After defeating Dagan Gera for a third and final time, the Compass ends up in Bode's hands without a scratch. He could go back to Jedha with Cal... but he's holding what he wants. He doesn't see the point in pretending any longer. He makes a split-second decision. Or: Bode's betrayal goes a bit differently.

~~~•~~~

The air is tight with tension. Not many have the chance, the honor of working directly under Darth Vader, but those who do have that honor also know it comes with great risks.

Lord Vader is angry. Every person in the Star-Destroyer can feel it.

Right now, he's standing at the front of the ship's cockpit, looking out the large windows that watch over Jerha's atmosphere. He's cleaned the broken and burnt parts of his suit with pristine replacements, making anyone who didn't know better think that he hadn't just walked out of a battle with a terrorist Jedi.

A Commander, some poor bastard everyone's already decided won't be alive much longer, walks into the cockpit with his chin held high. He stops a small distance from Darth Vader, looking all parts loyal and collected, but it's not hard to miss the tick in his jaw. He's nervous. Commanders after failed missions are always nervous.

"Any sightings on where their ship had gone?" Darth Vader suddenly asks, not turning toward the Commander quite yet.

The Commander swallows. "No, Lord Vader. They went into hyperspace before we could get a tracking beacon on them."

Silence filters around the cockpit, all except Darth Vader's intimidating and steady breathing, a few Lieutenants and pilots exchange tense looks.

"Cere Junda will not be so easy to find again," Darth Vader says. "She has proven herself capable of hiding where we cannot find her before. This failure must be corrected."

Not a single soul dares mention Darth Vader himself was the one who failed to kill her.

"Commander," Darth Vader says, turning finally to look at the tense man. "What of her Padawan?"

That throws everyone into a loop, though the Commander is more graceful at not showing it. "Her Padawan, my lord?"

"Cal Kestis. The ship they travel on was there, and sightings of most of the repeating crew. Except Kestis. What are his last sightings?"

A pilot quickly begins to search the Imperial databanks, it only takes a moment for him to stand up and solute Darth Vader before speaking. "His last confirmed sighting was on Coruscant, sir. He had infiltrated, posing as a prisoner, for known rebel leader Saw Gerrera."

"I am aware," Darth Vader says, tone darkening, and the pilot pales while others attempt to cringe away. The fiasco on Coruscant ended up with an Inquisitor getting killed. Darth Vader hadn't been happy about that one either. "What of unconfirmed sightings?"

"Um," the pilot clears his throat and returns to his computer before reporting, cautiously. "Koboh, sir. A backwater planet, there had been reports of a red haired Jedi with an orange lightsaber by troopers, but nothing any generals or commanders could confirm... As most of the troopers have died in the encounter..."

"How recent?"

"Days, sir."

More silence settles as five agonizingly timed mechanical breaths pass through the air.

"What is the bounty on Kestis now?"

Another pilot reads off a string of numbers. Most people in the cockpit can't help but be impressed by how many zeroes there are. "Though," the pilot continues, "the Haxion Brood has placed an independent bounty on Kestis that nearly doubles the Empire's."

"Triple that," Vader says, and the pilot's eyes widen in shock. "And make sure you specify I want him alive. I want every bounty hunter, every Imperial agent, looking for him, and I want him delivered to me in chains."

"But... but what of Cere Junda?" The Commander sputters.

"Junda has made mistakes with her previous Padawan," Vader says, "ones that she will not repeat with Kestis. He will be easier to find; his capture will bring her to us."

-o-o-o-o-

When the ping came that slicks bounty got updated, Caij was ecstatic at first.

She has just been thinking about the guy too, Sorc Tomo has sent more hunters after him right on their home base Koboh and she couldn't wait to tell him about them.

However, when she got on her datapad to see what the bounty had been raised to, she nearly fell out of the chair. Luckily, she has a reputation in the saloon and no one noticed, but at this point, she doesn't care if anyone walks by to see her currently leaning forward with her elbows on the table, eyes wide looking at the pad in her hands.

Yeah. Yeah, slicks bounty went up. Three times what it was before, and the Empire no less.

She sighs, leaning back on the bench while bringing a hand to her forehead. She sets the pad down.

Not only the Empire, but the contract was made under the Emperor's name himself.

Damn. Damn. What has slick gotten himself into?!

For once, she's stumped. She doesn't get stumped often, so that's saying something. Has her plan worked a bit too well? Has throwing the Jedi at hunter after hunter caused the Empire to notice how badly Sorc Tomo wanted the bastard and then want to get in on the action?

Haxion Brood bounty hunters are nothing compared to what can come from an official Imperial bounty. She can't believe her plan has backfired this royally.

She'll have to leave town. Leave planet. Give up on Kestis and leave him to his own fate. She can't be brought down with the guy. She knows the kinds of hunters that take bounties for the Empire. And with a bounty that high, she has no doubt that a certain one wearing Mandalorian armor has a pretty good chance of getting involved.

"Hey," she snaps at another frequenter of the saloon, that frog thing that doesn't shut up. "Get me a drink."

"Okay!" The frog thing says happily, shrugging and bee-lining for the bar.

She rubs her temples, trying to think. How much time does she have? Does the Empire know Koboh is a frequent spotting place for slick?

It's frustrating. The entire reason she wanted to hike up his bounty was so she can capture him herself and pay off her own Imperial bounty after getting the credits from Sorc Tomo. She can't believe she hasn't seen something like this coming, throwing everything out the damn window.

"Here ya go, miss!" the frog thing says.

She takes the drink. "Beat it."

"Okay!" the frog thing happily walks away.

She takes a big swig, not caring what's in it. So what's next? She doesn't think she can continue with her plan, not when she doesn't know where slick currently is. That ship he travels on left in a hurry a bit ago too, taking the saloon's owner with it. If he were here, she'd take him out now while there's no competition, but waiting for him to come back could end up being more trouble than it's worth.

She's in the middle of considering her options when the saloon entrance suddenly opens, revealing a frazzled looking Greez Dritus and that woman slick is so heart-eyes about.

She can't help but stare, looking behind them to see if there's a familiar bout of red hair, but she immediately discovers they're staring right back, and now walking toward her with purpose.

Hell.

"Caij Vanda?" The woman, skin as ashen as snow, eyes as hard as diamonds. They stop right at her table. Caij makes an effort to look as un-effort as possible, leaning back and crossing her ankles on the table.

"Who's askin'?"

"My name is Merrin, we have questions for you about Cal Kestis's bounty."

Caij dips her head slightly, allowing her to look for nearby exits without looking like she's lookin' for nearby exits. Her hand slowly goes to her hip where her blasters sit.

Hell. Did they find out about her plan? They couldn't have, she's not that careless.

"What about it?"

Merrin narrows her eyes, distrustful thing ain't she, but Greez steps in. "Look, all we need is one of his bounty pucks, and we'll be out'a your head tentacles."

Now that catches her off guard. Out of all conversations relating to Kestis's bounty, she wasn't expecting that.

"Now that's a request," she says carefully. "Mind letting me in on the juicy details before I decide if I'm gonna ignore you or not?"

Merrin's lips thin, but Greez quickly steps in. "Look, we know you've been helping the kid get a jump on those bounty hunters, and that you've been rewarding him for the pucks he brings back. We... lost track of him, and we think a bounty puck can help us find him. He might be in danger, surely you could let us use one to get him back. We can pay."

"What sort'a danger?"

Slick's friends stop and silently consider her question. She has'ta admit, she's genuinely curious. Slick couldn't have been captured already, his bounty had just gone up, and any dangerous hunters are sure to take a few days to get as far out as Koboh. However, even if he had be captured already, his friends working to find Kestis again could help her out, especially if they bring him back right into her hands.

Greez sighs. "Someone we trusted turned out to be someone we couldn't. He jumped Cal and took him captive."

"Empire? Brood? Raiders? Come on Dritus, I need the deets."

"None," Merrin snaps, looking frustrated. "He took Cal for his own personal goals. We think he took him into the Abyss above Koboh. We need the puck to be able to make sure."

Interesting.

Interesting. This could work for her.

She uncrosses her legs and stands up, startling them both to take a step back. She grins at them, showing her teeth. "Good news, I'm in."

"What?" Greez says dumbly.

"I'm in," she repeats. "I'm coming with. Pucks can be complicated to those first usin' them, and if you want it used effectively, I'm coming with. Don't even have'ta pay me. I like that Jedi, be a shame to see him stay missing cuz I didn't get involved."

"I do not understand," Merrin says. "You are not invited."

"Then you're not getting this puck," she says, patting her hip. "I'll go find him myself."

A lie. If they don't let her in, she'd much rather let slick stay in his situation while she skips out'a this side of the Galaxy.

Merrin and Greez exchange glances before Greez sighs in defeat. "A bounty hunter on the Mantis," he says, "what has the Galaxy come to."

-o-o-o-o-

"We got a puck," Greez announces as he enters the Mantis. "Came with a bounty hunter though."

Merrin watches Caij saunter into the Mantis. She moves her hips way too much, like she's constantly skating on ice. She bends at her hips and glances around the main room of the Mantis, peering down towards the cockpit and letting out a whistle.

Cere glances up from the holotable, Cordova at her side and BD-1 still connected to the system. Her eyes land distrustfully on Caij, but she gives a polite smile. "Thank you. However, we may not need you. BD-1 just picked up a signal from Cal's locator."

BD-1 boops happily as all sorts of data, coordinates, strings of numbers flash through the holo-projection.

Merrin approaches the table, though she keeps an eye on Caij, and watches as BD-1 finally pin-points the signal, but the air seems to be sucked out of the room as the location is revealed.

"That's an ISB base," Greez says, his voice disheartened.

"I thought you said the Empire wasn't involved," Caij said, placing her hands on her hips. Her voice has gone tight, her lips thin, eyes narrowed.

"We didn't think they were," Cere said. "The man who took Cal, he was a spy, but we assumed he abandoned the Empire to pursue his personal goals..."

BD-1 suddenly gives a string of beeps, and Cordova nods.

"It seems, Bode has a daughter."

Merrin considers the new information. He's never told her, or anyone, about this daughter to her knowledge, though Merrin knows Cal and Bode had gotten close during this adventure, often having private conversations with each other.

"What? You think he went back to Nova Garon to get his daughter?" Greez asks. "That could have been a lie, Cal could already be in one of their cells, waiting for the Inquisitorius."

"Perhaps not," Cordova says, pointing at a holomap BD-1 brings up. "His signal isn't coming from the holding cells, but from what appears to be on-base living quarters. He could be keeping Cal hidden while he gets his daughter prepared."

"Or," Merrin says, "it could be a trap to lure in the rest of us. Bode has already tried to kill us all by sending the Inquisitorius to Jedha, I wouldn't put it past him."

"Caij Vanda, yes?" Cere asks, and Caij nods her head slowly. "Could you show us the puck? If I'm correct, the puck should track Cal's DNA signature. The locator could have been taken from Cal's person."

Caij considers for a moment, then shrugs. She pulls out the puck and flicks on.

She frowns when nothing happens.

"Now that's odd," she says.

"No signal," Cere breathes.

"It's a trap," Merrin confirms.

"No signal means he's on Tanalor, right?" Greez asks, now sounding frantic. "How in the stars are we supposed to go there?!"

"Perhaps I can help," a new voice adds. Caij tactfully jumps out of the way as Zee daintily approaches the ship. Cere's eyebrows go up at the sight of her, and Cordova gives a thoughtful humm.

"You must be Cere Junda and Eno Cordova," Zee says happily. "It is a pleasure to meet you both, Cal has told me much about you. However... I could not help but overhear- or well, Monk could not help but overhear and then inform me. Cal is missing?"

She stops part-way within the ship, worry rolling off of her.

"Yes," Cere says. "Bode has stolen the Compass, and we believe he has taken Cal out of our reach to Tanalor."

Zee nods sadly. "How unfortunate. However, Cal is not completely out of our reach. After all, my former master and Dagan Gera had to have reached Tanalor before the Compass had been invented. Surely, if we look through Master Khri's research we are bound to find another way through."

"Fascinating," Cordova says, stepping towards Zee. "You are living history."

"Oh," Zee says, sounding a little flustered.

"Do you know where we can start to find this other way?" Cordova asks, stopping a few steps from her. She gives a sad sigh.

"No, Master Khri had wiped my memory banks before we parted ways. I'm afraid I do not know of any other way to cross the Abyss."

"But much appears to remain," Cordova says. "I have much experience with droids and programming their memory, would you allow me to search your memory banks?"

BD-1 hops off the table and rushes towards Cordova, climbing onto his shoulder and giving a string of encouraging boops.

Zee looks at BD-1 to Cordova, then shrugs. "Oh, why not. I am sure you will find nothing, but it doesn't hurt to try." She turns to Cere then. "I do not know of any way to cross the Abyss, however, there are many places within Koboh where Master Khri's research and teachings remain."

"Anything you have, Zee, would be very helpful," Cere says. "Merrin, would you join me in searching these locations?"

Merrin nods. "Of course."

"And what about me?" Caij butts in. She's leaning against the wall, looking entirely too bored. "Without a working puck I don't see the point in hanging around."

Merrin glares at her. "You said you want to help find Cal," she seethes. "You will help us find Cal, with or without the puck."

She opens her mouth to argue, but Cordova cuts in. "Actually, I was hoping to see if we could breach through the abyss to track young Cal. After searching Zee's memory, I will need your expertise. I am sure there's a way."

Caij looks unhappy about that, but doesn't argue.

Merrin doesn't trust her, but if they want the tracking fob, then there's no choice. She gives Caij a hard look, promising retribution if Cordova even has a single new scratch on him the next time they see each other. Caij looks back indifferently, but breaks into a grin. "Don't frown so much, sunshine, you'll get wrinkles that way."

Merrin glares at her. This is for Cal, she reminds herself as the party splits off, Cere and Merrin heading off to the closest accessible research location of Santari Khri's without needing the key that must be with Cal and Bode.

Once they have Cal back, safe and sound, it'll all be worth it.

[simpingwriter]

Cal Kestis x Kyra Yarmot

'In the Name of Love' pt.7

A/N: sorry for taking this long...but this has the length of nearly !4! Regular chapters of mine...so if we think that way, I have been posting relatively regularly...just not publicly 🤣

I decided to post everything at once, despite me going to be in obvious mental peril at the end of editing this doorstopper today next week (by writing this edit)💀

Let's hope I didn't fuck up too badly in the 2nd edit...

Enjoy! :)

Word Count: approx. 11.000 Words

(Pre-Edit me: Kill me now-)

(Post-Edit me: Great now I am crying again.)

___________________

It's only on your slow way back to the Mantis that you see the actually quite notable limp in Cal's step. How did you not see that sooner, what kind of horrible…person he seems to like…are you?!

"You're hurt!" You exclaimed shook, immediately putting an arm out to stop him from further walking away. The Town was still basically deserted with the shoot out just a few minutes old, the streets were quiet and only you two were left within the bodies of the Bounty Hunters. Clearly they did mess with the wrong people, not the other way around.

"It's fine, we got bacta cream and patches stocked up well last month, don't you remember? You had such fun with the fizzy drink stand!"

And even with his assuring tone, you didn't move from your spot, eyes trained intently on the wound you somehow only saw now. A blaster bolt had grazed his calf, searing through his pants way too easily. You felt terrible with the knowledge that you let him get hurt because of your awful need to get revenge, all because you tend to forget that others didn't have your armored scales. Most species didn't have them.

"Listen, this will be patched up in no time, you know Merrin is good at-" No. Not Merrin.

Always it was her fixing your wounds – mainly his due to previously mentioned reasons – because she insisted on doing it for you two, which your surprisingly lazy ass definitely wouldn't complain about in normal circumstances, but the thing you had with Cal was no normal circumstances! And then...then you always would have to watch her undress his Ponchos and shirts, even watch him take his pants off...for her…She got to touch him in ways even you hadn't yet and you couldn't even openly voice your – clearly not allowed – feelings!

But now you're alone with him for once, again.

"I want to take care of your wound…I was the reason you got hurt in the first place, so I should have to help you with it. N-not Merrin…please." Why did he even have to agree to her help? Couldn't he have just told her that you are wrapping his wounds? They weren't that many either, usually!

It must've been written all over your face, your sour, bitter thoughts – Which Merrin didn't even deserve in the long run, she became your only female friend! – doing rapid rounds through your head as he tilts his head, starting to grin, "Are you jealous of Merrin?" "What?! No! N-never! I…I just…" You dug your own hole deeper – metaphorical Claws making it even easier – with every failed try to explain your thoughts as he went to cup your face in one of his hands, circling his calloused thumb over your scaly skin gently, "It's alright if you are, Kyra…though there is nothing to be jealous about in the end, you know that, right?" You leaned into his impulsive gentle caress almost instantly by instinct, craving his touch like it kept you alive, a low, content growl showing your slowly easing worry.

"I do know…but, but she…she got to see you in ways not even I have yet, Cal…" you finally decided to spill your selfish reason, knowing it wasn't fair to Cal to just keep the reason to yourself while he has no idea why you were even acting jealous in the first place. What you didn't expect was for him to chuckle deeply at your – in your eyes – embarrassing confession, his former gentle caress turned into him slightly forcing you to look up at him.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look adorable when you're starting to go all green-eyed for me?" No. No one ever has, you never had anybody to even get jealous over like you seemed to get with Cal.

No one had ever made you feel any of these things like he did. Jealousy, a new kind of fear, a new kind of anger but most importantly…your most general happiness began to feel differently around him.

You quietly shook your head at him, his sudden change in demeanor silencing you as he closed the small height difference to lean down next to your flushed ear. "Then why don't you prove to me that you're better at patching me up, my sweet Dragonfly?" Shivers.

And yet, despite your mental whiplash, you slowly nod.

Without checking out the surroundings much, he led you two towards the back of one of the many sandstone houses, still limping badly until he finally got to lean against it, sighing out exhausted.

"Shit, I didn't even think to ask if you got some First Aid with you-" "I can use some parts of my shirt, it got a hole during the fight anyways…" you mumble quietly, partially still trying to make sense of the tone alone his former words held. They sounded so strange and different coming from him in particular. But you liked it. A lot. You knew you wouldn't be able to go to bed without thinking about this moment at least twice tonight, feeling your legs rub together subconsciously.

For a split second, you had been certain, he blushed at your comment, but he shook it off much quicker than usually, once again leaving you as the only one of the two of you that resembled a Camby Berry. You pulled a grimace at the wound, fortunately really just a graze shot. Meaning your emergency Bacta Spray would be more than enough for today if you covered it with a bandage of your shirt and afterwards ask BD to give him a stim from his compartment.

Using your claws ever so carefully, you slice his pants leg open at the side – though just high enough to get to his wound – hearing a slight murmur of complaint. You knew he had just bought those last week, but you would be able to fix them easily, you cut them at the seams and not dead in the middle of the fabric.

"This could sting for a second-" "Karking Hell!" He shouts out with the first layer of mist the spray hits the burnt wound with as you clearly lied a bit. Bacta spray hurts like bad ass, unlike regular Bacta Cream. But it was most reliable on wounds that needed quick patching up.

The second and third layer could no longer hurt, the first layer covering the exposed wound already fully. The others were there to simply reinforce the strength of the hardening healing mass, it's basically a spray-on bacta patch without the patch.

"This was more than a sting, Kyra!" "Didn't tell you what that sting would feel like, did I?" You return smugly now as well, raising the sharp tip of your tail for extra emphasis as he grunts.

"And there I thought you were going to be a good Dragonfly for me…" He states back similarly as you felt his eyes bore into your skull as he quietly watched you working on his leg.

Grabbing your already ripped shirt, you took a good part of it between your hands and your fangs, using your claws to rip further through it, a nice strip now left. And basically nothing to cover you up.

You could swear he heard your immediately following thoughts, a chuckle coming from above you, "Wanted to recover what we couldn't finish this morning, Kyra?" "S-shut up, I need to concentrate!" That was also a lie, all that was left was to wrap his calf to keep the still clearly wet-ish Bacta Spray from sticking to everything – S a n d . . . – he would touch in the next hours.

Like apparently you.

As soon as you were finished, you felt his hands at your upper arms, pulling you back to stand in front of him, "Maybe you're right." He muses with a grin still very unfamiliar to you, "Maybe I should let you patch me up much more often in future…"

That would be nice…that's all you wanted. To have him see your worth in all aspects.

You wanted to help him. Just like he wanted to help you.

You were pulled from your thoughts that were parading your win as you felt his hot breath on your lips, "You haven't been hurt as well, by any chance?" Before connecting his lips with yours in a heated kiss, starting out that way already by his choice for a chance. And again you felt it, whenever you kissed, you felt this unique connection between you two, tethering you two to each other for longer than you usually planned.

Something you hadn't felt with any other Force Sensitive, something no simple touch or even hug could even dream to simulate. They gave you this ultimate feeling of being at true ease, like everything would be alright eventually, even if just for these exact few moments.

They made it hard to think straight, intoxicated you and your usually clear view on things. They obscured the supposed rules, rules that could no longer be enforced by a council.

So when you once again felt his ever-curious hands travel downwards, all in the "privacy" of a desolate sand town, you didn't hesitate to encourage him to go on, to map you with his hands. No hushed warnings, no worries of being caught by the others for taking too long to do something in your room or being too loud…

"You're not…stopping me?" He also noticed, hand currently going under the rest of your shirt to feel how hot your skin currently was. Always has been a pretty good indicator of your own desire. "N-no. I don't want…to stop you…" you confess whenever he gives you two space to talk and breath between kisses, getting sloppy as both of you lost care about how you looked while sharing this intimate moment.

"Wasn't it you who...talked about a certain... set of rules many... many Rotations ago?" He teased, pulling at the clips that held your bra together with a too-innocent-to-be smile pressed against yours. That alone made you whine, silenced with another kiss, the anticipation alone having you on edge, pressing yourself closer to his own burning up body as you felt your panties grow damp.

"Makers, kark the damned rules…" you whine out, your own claws trying to pull his Poncho off and over his head, which he was as kind as to help you along. Soon, the poncho, his shirt and your shirt were disposed and forgotten about on the ground, collecting sand to be even further complained about later. "We're going to get sunburned because of you…" You groan as your eyes rake over his slightly scarred and freckled upper body. Nothing entirely new to you, since he slept in boxer shorts and he just liked it a lot to wake you up in nothing but them.

You smiled at the memory of the feeling his small – much more innocent – pecks on your still sleepy lips gave you in the morning.

Months ago you wouldn't have dreamed of such mornings, you would've been happy to simply not wake up drenched in rain water because a cave wasn't as dry as you had initially thought…

"Any sunburn is worth it if I get to spend such a special moment with you, little Dragonfly…" He promised as his hands returned to fumble with your pesky bra. That's where his and your inexperience clearly showed, but neither of you cared all that much about that, your hands brushing his away for a moment. You feel the heat continue rising in your cheeks when his bigger hands begin to rest at your now fully exposed hips, fingertips kneading into your soft skin after he slipped his glove off to feel you better.

"There." With that small – theoretically meaningless – word, the sides of your hips had been momentarily abandoned to strip you off that pesky little clothed cage, also getting thrown onto the growing heap of clothes behind him as he stopped for just a moment. "You're staring…"

"I'm not staring. I'm admiring what is mine."

Admiring.

Admiring what is…his.

It took everything in your strength to not throw yourself at him for this comment, the unfamiliar heat in your body starting to concentrate more and more in your lower abdomen. You knew what it actually meant, that...feeling, but never had it felt so breathtakingly real before. As if you could grasp it with your physical hands, knowing that is was as real as your strength in the Force.

"I am yours, Cal" you return, accepting him thoughtlessly, watching a satisfied look creep onto his face, hands slowly sliding towards your sensitive mounds. At the first contact, searing skin against even worse searing skin, you bite down on your lower lip, feeling your blood bead at the broken skin. If he made you feel like this with a mere touch in such a "simple" area…how would he make you feel if he…

"All in due time…" He whispers against the shell of your ear and now you are certain: he could somehow hear your thoughts. But why couldn't you hear his? "Because you shouldn't have to know what kind of...sinful...thoughts I have about you and me right now, Kyra…" He admits and he sounds noticeably ashamed, for these thoughts, you guess.

And you could think why, as well. Years and years, you're taught to not get attached. Certainly not to have a relationship with one another…and now you're on the brink of truly breaking any and every rule talking about this behavior. You would walk a wrong path…of a way that was about to break under your feet either way.

Staring up into his clouded green eyes, you tried to find the right words. And eventually you found them, finding them easier than you had expected, "Whatever you're thinking about wanting to do with or to me today, right now...and any day in the future…I want it too…there is nothing to be asha- Cal!"

You hadn't even managed to finish your sentence, when you started hearing the thoughts he worried about, currently running freely and wildly through his head as you talked to him and you knew was going over all the things that could happen...

His "bad intrusive thoughts" won...

In seconds, he had you pressed against the wall of the house now instead – causing you to shout his name in surprise – pinning you up against it. Both of you knew you could easily overpower him if need be, but you also both seemed to just know perfectly well that you wouldn't.

You wanted this. You wanted him to lead you.

"Are you really sure about this, Kyra? I don't know if I can stop myself once I let go…" He was at the brink of panting, sharply exhaling as his blown wide eyes wander back downwards to your exposed, heaving chest. And suddenly all you heard, was what he wanted to do to them.

How he wanted to knead them, feel them, taste them. He wanted to worship them and everything else about you. He wanted to since the beginning, the thoughts growing stronger and harder to resist with the time you spent together, in each other's arms and company.

"Then don't hold back, Cal. We held back for the longest time, so don't just tell me, show me how badly you want to make me yours...and yours alone, please…" You tried not to quiver almost pathetically with your voice, not from fear but from the anticipation. Was he going to be gentle? Would he take you for himself roughly even, like a dragon's mate once upon a time was supposed to?

Was he going to lose himself for his own pleasure as well…or would he only care about you?

You wanted him to feel good.

He deserves pleasure, he deserves happiness...

"Do I really though?" "Yes you do, Cal."

And his head dips down, his hands kept a tight lock on your hands, restraining you from touching him back as his lips first grazed the soft scaled skin of your chest. At first, they were unsure, gentle. Then he seemed to get ahold of himself, fully relishing in this sadly rare moment.

He bit into your gentle flesh, sucked small markings all over them, leaving trails of his saliva, all while he kept your squirming body in check. Your tail wildly swished around under you two, throwing around dirt and sand as you – for the first time in your life – felt the astonishing pleasure of another person touching one of your most sensitive places, especially with such concentration and devotion for it.

Your hands simply couldn't do the same magic he somehow naturally had, letting them limply hang against nothing as he switched into holding you with the Force alone now. You trusted him with your life, it came to you in that very moment. You would let him restrain you in the most dangerous places and situations…you would blindly trust him.

"M-more, Cal. Maker's please!" You moan into the arid desert air, pushing outwards to feel more of him on your touch starved body, obsecene mewls and moans rolling from your lips with surprising ease, even though they had been nearly unfamiliar to you up to this day. "Only if you let me hear your divine lips sing some more." And thankfully you didn't have to hold back all the way out here, free to give into whatever he wanted and asked from you.

No one would see you two break the rules. Just like at the start of everything.

"Right here?" He asks cautious, his slightly calloused hands now wandering your – for them still foreign – surface, the strange feeling your hardened but currently not sharp scales gave him only spurring him on. "Where else?" Your answer was just as short, unfortunately only able to view his body instead of touching it. But that didn't mean you couldn't catalog every. single. scar. he had to show.

You wondered where they all came from, if they all had their own stories? Which came from training, which came from actually dangerous combat? Are they still sensitive…did they maybe still hurt him?

"Do they still hurt?" "Some of them…but nothing I can die from. Not anymore." He knew immediately what you meant, this weird new connection you two had going keeping both of you from using too many words, relying on being able to hear each other's thoughts when the other let you.

Once he was done mapping your own little scars and different looking scales to his mind, humming at every new oddly placed scales he found, he went further down.

He felt the same way as you. He didn't expect to be here today, happier than he was months ago. And yet…you felt something odd and caged off swirling in his thoughts and feelings. He wasn't able to be as happy as he wanted to be for you.

Something had been bothering him greatly...

But you would ask him once you both had your fill of being horrible horrible Jedi.

"I didn't know your tail was this tied up in your pants, Kyra…" He mutters almost sheepishly, if it weren't for the fact that he doesn't sound much like the boyish Cal you know right now. Impatiently, you gently tug at his invisible grip, even if just to untie the laces at the back of your pants to help him out. But he didn't budge, his Force gripping you even harder to keep the message very clear. This was him in control today.

For once... you didn't have to be strong and demanding...

For once, you're getting guidance again.

Albeit quite different to what old you were used to.

"I got this, don't worry. I will even tie them back up for you afterwards…" As he said those words, you feel your pants already fall down to your knees. When you have a tail your size, the only thing holding everything up was whatever covered your tail as well, you basically wore reversed pants...

He helped you step out of them, pushing your heavy combat boots off right along to free your also clawed and scaly feet. The heat of the desert planet was slightly caught by the white-yellow wall you're being pushed against, but it didn't really help with the burning hot ground.

It didn't help shit.

While your feet – covered in special, more hardened scales – didn't pick up the full heat of the sand like the average human's feet, you definitely weren't comfortable either with standing on it as you wince out, trying to stand on your clawed toes instead and failing miserably when they just dug down, causing your unfortunate toes to get enveloped by nothing but almost scalding grains of sand. You never regretted a move quicker than that one.

"That hot?" You nod without much thought, the ability to talk leaving you with your head aimed at the realization that you were absolutely bare in front of him right now, in the middle of a desert.

Just like nature had made you.

____

"You're beautiful…" He remarks almost breathless, leaving you squirming on your padded feet for a moment, just to take a wide enough step back. He admired you as a whole now, took your strong, endlessly trained and yet still very feminine figure and exotic appearance in like you're one of these way too expensive paintings in the Museums in Coruscant…

"To me, those paintings are boring and utter garbage against you." He states quite bluntly before coming closer again, planting his chapped lips roughly on your equally dry lips – a simple feature that never really mattered to each of you – satisfying the building hunger of your lips on his within moments of his demand. Whatever went over him…over you…you enjoyed every forbidden second of it like it was the last time ever and you wished this moment would never have to end.

Until of course the uncomfortable situation at your feet had to return you to the current position you were caged into, just as he began to take off the belt of his own pants. Something that looks so innocent every "evening" you two went to your beds, the partition by now seen much less strict for you two, more decorative than anything now. But in this moment, it makes your face burn even brighter than ever before. Because now you were acutely aware of what would follow and it wasn't going to be these mostly innocent cuddles on his or your bed.

This would be much more. Today…today he would really show you how much he trusted you. And how much you trusted him.

Enough to bond with each other on a deeply physical level.

And not just physically, in the end, it was also an emotional bond, at least for your kind. No other "mate" would ever be like your first again…

"Then I'll have to make sure you won't regret your decision, my Dragonfly…" He throws the pants and shoes where everything else had gone in these hasty last moments, visibly enjoying your struggle of not immediately letting your hungry eyes wander below the belt. "I won't, Cal. I would never."

Your concentration on his eyes started to fail you more and more as your ears picked up the low groan from deep within his throat. His arm moved up and down as you could only take "a wild guess" what exactly he was doing further down, but of course you knew exactly what he was doing. He was preparing himself for you. So this was really happening…you only ever saw it on the HoloNet, when you dared to watch the various adult movies you could find with a detailed enough search. It always ended with your fingers carefully maneuvering deeply in your sleeping pants and even deeper within your most sensitive spot – feeling the effect you had on yourself via the wet pools afterwards – biting into your pillow to muffle your filthy moans. Your body was so incredibly sensitive, even to your own touch, so it was nearly impossible to keep it a secret from Cal during the nights you did touch yourself. Your reactive tail wasn't exactly helping with that either, having to pin it down with your feet to keep the tip from banging against the metal walls of the Mantis.

You remember theses special looks the actors gave each other, how they held such raw animalistic energy even though they were nothing but ordinary humans.

Now, as he slowly stroked himself and he kept his eyes trained on certain spots of your body, you found the exact same type of energy in them. He really wanted you, almost three months of him and you having to wait for enough privacy and the right moment did that to him and not only him.

Unfortunately, until now, these moments were rare and scarce, so you usually used them to find peace in the quiet and the other's comfort and presence instead even imagining exploring each other's bodies like this, both of you too embarrassed to find out if the other even felt the same taboo need inside of them.

And when you eventually naturally got to that point during some make outs, it was always interrupted, ending said moment of privacy immediately…

Often, these interruptions left you both feeling miserable, grumpy and on edge for the rest of the "day" and potential mission, something that didn't always slide past the rest of your team. Once Merrin even asked if you two had a fight, mentioning the raw "angry" eyes you threw at each other.

It never was anger.

It was raw lust that shortly after it dared to show in each of you, had to be forced back down, each interruption painfully reminded the two of you about how deeply wrong your attraction to each other was and for some perverted reason, it drew you two even closer.

And so with every interruption that followed the next, you felt something searing hot coil up more and more inside of you, something you thought was annoyance towards the interruption. It took a whole ass while for you to realize that it was a build up of literal need instead.

So finally, you got the courage to pan downwards, your lower lip immediately falling down at what you saw. Cal grunted prideful at your not so secret gasp, laughing airily until another aroused gasp forced said laugh into the background, "I take that you like what you see?"

Caught off guard, you just nod in innocent awe, a stray piece of your black hair falling into your face as you could only stare now. Precum long started running down the reddish tip of his cock, the rest being spread across his length as he got himself further hard. It didn't seem like such a feat, soon finding him removing his hand, leaving you to take him in without obstruction. He wasn't as big as those from the adult movies, but you were quite aware that they were usually artificially altered to be longer.

Cal's was as real as it could get, now that he no longer held it, twitching freely and eagerly in the open desert air. His cock was maybe…5 or 6 inches, looking pretty huge to inexperienced you, never having had anything beyond said artificially enhanced ones to compare to…

"Are you ready?"

From what you saw in some of these movies, something called foreplay was commonly supposed to come first…but that would take you two more time, time you didn't want to waste anymore. Who karking knew when they would comm the both of you to make sure you're not dead?

No matter that…you could no longer wait either way, you needed him.

You didn't want to wait even longer!

"Yes, yes I am, Cal. Please…please, I need you!" You beg shamelessly, the burning sand against and between your feet about to be pushed into the back of your mind, immediately rushing to memorize the pattern of his hands coming back down to your hips. His right one was really sticky now, the reason as obvious to you as the heat of the air around you. "Then jump…" What- "I'll catch you, there is absolutely no way I will drop you, Kyra…"

How did he know…does he also watch…

You decide to keep that question also for later on, instead not wanting to let him and you wait any longer by following his order without any further questions, jumping off the ground with enough airtime, relieved to no longer having to endure the hot ground underneath. Now the sweltering air was left as the only nuisance, the two suns high above you now burning right atop of you. The memories of today would hurt a bit more than a graze wound with bacta spray.

Cal times your jump perfectly, the hands on your hips swiftly going under your thighs, pulling your already sweaty bodies against each other in one fluid motion. He was almost a natural, you thought as he buried his head in your neck, nibbling on the scaled body part of yours. He couldn't exactly leave bite marks on them, that was your kind of luck. Only at your collarbone perhaps, if he worked on it for long enough.

But there was no time for him marking you, not today, probably not for a long time again afterwards. Every minute wasted was a minute less for him to finally feel all of you and other way around.

For him to ultimately claim you as his.

The first thing you felt of him was the tip as he began to rut against your by now wet with arousal entrance with an eagerness you only knew of him when he was karking hungry at breakfast till today. The friction alone felt like the most forbidden thing to do and yet still...your body reacts to his, rocking back just as needy, a small whine and some pants intermixed at this small but meaningful physical contact. There, held ever so tightly against his bare chest – for once absolutely nothing stuck between the two of you, no bothering bra, top or bedsheets – you felt his heartbeat, quick and strong. "Yours isn't any different…it almost feels like a gentle drum against my chest…"

The way he shared all the things he felt with or because of you…

"I can't wait any longer…Cal…I want- need to feel you!" When he had no smart comment about how you were feeling him already the whole time, you knew he was ready to give you what you requested, the tip of his cock twitching against your virgin folds at your unusually weak, trembling voice, begging him. He knew no other boy had heard you speak like that to them, never would, either. You showed your unguarded self only to him...

Clearly being done with teasing your entrance, not able to hold back himself as well, he shoves your not all too light body up in his grip as you feel him bare his clenched teeth against the same place he just bit at, groaning frustrated at just how long it really took both of you to get to this point today.

And by now, like an old routine, he whispers the same words you asked him months ago, "You know this is against the rules, right?", just to push himself into you without any more preparations or preemptive warnings, bottoming out for the very first time.

Although…this recurring question was you two's kind of warning by now, falling off either of your lips whenever you dreaded further and further down the path of broken rules, leaving the old teachings you both had been taught behind more and more. What even happened to promising to share only these chaste kisses like back then?

What did you two come to?

At the sudden, deep and extremely unfamiliar penetration, you loudly cry out his name, drawing out every vocal of his short name, no one stopping you apart from yourself a few seconds later. Feeling yourself instinctively clenching your fangs and teeth as tears dreaded to well up at this new intrusive feeling inside of you, it didn't feel bad, unlike one might think looking at your current unreadable expression, especially unlike many said on the Holonet. Everyone said the first time is supposed to hurt, even just a bit...but you felt no pain. Instead, a foreign version of bliss filled you.

And once again…this was nothing like your fingers touching yourself, this was…this was so much different! And he felt the same exact way, stilling inside of your clenching lower half as he pushed both of you against the wall to keep the wavering balance up, feeling his grip on your wrists falter more and more by the second. He just couldn't hold it up anymore, you felt so karking incredible around him!

"S-shit, Kyra…you're so karking tight! I never… I didn't expect it to feel so overwhelming!" His head fell back into the familiar crook of your neck, his entire grip on your body trembling as he held on just barely, overwhelmed just like he had told you. With his Force barely focused on enough anymore to be controlled and contain your arms over your head, you took the liberty of freeing yourself, immediately weaving them around his neck.

Finally you could close the last gaps your bodies had between each other, securing him before he even dared to move again, afraid of not being able to keep his promise and maybe dropping you after all.

Slow at first, experiencing your no longer pure tightness, never touched by someone else but perhaps you. It gave him a feeling of primal pride and he wondered if that's also how your species felt when they first bonded. Another feeling he wasn't supposed to have as a Jedi, but he long stopped caring once he saw you in all your naked glory in front of him, just for him and absolutely nobody else…

Daring to look down to where you two now connected, you failed to contain more of the newest addition of sounds you didn't even know you were capable off, unrestrained moans and mewls, getting louder and more evident at your eyes catching fresh, purplish streaks blood dripping off of his glistening cock, slowly disappearing and reappearing from inside of you. He had officially claimed you, in Dragon People's minds and rules at least...but just like with Jedi...there was nobody left to enforce them, other than you yourself and your body.

How was such a simple act able to make someone feel so…whole? No meditation in the world had the effect he had on you at this moment…

"Cal…" you pant, abandoning the view to finally really be able to let go. The first time in years…no…your whole life.

"Faster…oh makers, please, please go faster!" You beg wantonly, hearing the small pained hiss between moans from you accidentally digging your claws a bit too carefree into his back, forgetting he wasn't a half Dragon. But it's nothing bacta spray couldn't heal.

Before he though did as you asked him, he got another good look in from your current state, picking his head out from in between your shoulder and neck. "Kyra…" He whined and panted, but no more intelligent words managed to cross the gap of his lips when he crushed them hungrily against yours, even more need and passion in this than in every other before. He felt the same bond you did, how it reinforcedthe initial one, he knew he claimed you for himself.

Then he really followed your request and slowly began to speed up his thrusts. Until he lost track how fast he was really starting to get, ending with him stumbling once more against the wall with your weight all in his now fear-tight grip, hips rutting nearly on nothing but pure instinct roughly in and out of your wet hole with a completely different speed and feeling to it, leaving neither of you with much words to say verbally to each other.

You hadn't heard his thoughts this clear before this moment, not an ounce of a barrier as you head flooded with his warm, attractive voice, uttering nothing but compliments and praise. How you were doing so amazing for the both of you.

How amazing you made him feel.

That was everything you wanted but you got so so much more in this very moment, the increased and definitely much more rough pace sending you straight to Heaven with each and every thrust. His grip doesn't falter for even a second – no matter how shaky he was all over – never having had anything he wanted to hold more tightly and dear to himself like you, he came to realize.

All and every sound around you was muted, deemed as unnecessary for your shared and clearly – audibly – passionate pleasure, which left nothing but the unmoderated, surely deafening, moans, whines, cries and growls you gave to only each other right now, two sets of piercing yet glazed over green eyes staring into each other as you felt yet another unfamiliarity in the lower half of your body. And if it wasn't for the obscene noises your body and his together made – wet slapping of hips and thighs coming together and the squelching from your juices being pushed around inside of you whenever he pistons back out and into your tighter than tight eagerness – being absolutely foreign territory to you two, you wouldn't have a reason to blush and hide your head in his chest for your current acts, causing you to smell the manly scent the thin layer of sweat created.

As all you did, was act like normal people that had needs, no? Which Council thought it was their right to forbid this...this...incredible feeling of connectedness, while everything it did was make you feel better than you had ever thought was even possible!?

Everyonce in a while, one of the two of you would still let the other's name slip in the most pathetic way possible, clinging onto the body of the other while tears of joy fell down your face at the overabundance of pleasure thrown at your inexperienced bodies. It was a wonder how you both held on for this long, tears not the only thing rolling down your face as sweat continued beading on your bodies, making both of you sticky – though your scales didn't let you get as bad as Cal.

"I…I think I'm going to cum, Kyr-" You were about to say the same words as he suddenly stilled, his hands that had been holding onto you from the small of your back slid down to your hips at that moment.

His knuckles turned (even more) white at the instinctive grip he used to pull you firmly back down, flush against the base of his pulsing cock, feeling his hot balls twitching below you as he came inside of you without giving each one of you even another second to prepare or think about a different place for him to shoot his load. "Oh maker, Cal…you ohhh…oh my!" An almost strangled cry escapes you at the sudden burning hot feeling rushing inside your walls, the mere act of his own climax and how it ended so suddenly with his teeth back in your shoulders – which still wasn't enough to muffle his own shouts. It threw you over the cliff as well, joining in on the redhead's excited final chants of moans.

Clenching around his still draining cock, you pant and find some air to laugh, throwing your head back, only barely missing the house wall. You two actually just did that!

"You're still…kark…c-clenching me so tightly…" and even though you felt him shake all over his body, having obvious trouble staying on his two feet right now, you knew he still wouldn't ever drop you. He finally rested you two against the wall, staying pushed tightly and deeply into you though, not wanting to lose that one of a kind feeling just yet…he just needed you to give him a few minutes…

Two minutes pass.

Three minutes pass...

Four minutes pa-

"Ha…this…this was something…" He exhales, clearly exhausted and it reminded you of how handsome he looked whenever you two trained together on Bogano for hours and hours. Orange strands of his tousled hair sticking to his glistening forehead, some at the side of his face as well. He looked godlike, mouth hanging slightly open with a smile as he admired you back. And he thought the very same about you, the connection you two formed still intact even when you finished.

Something about that thought made you smile, knowing you now really had someone to share your thoughts with. Literally.

Carefully, he slips out from your now sore hole, swallowing hard at the various fluids that tried to roll and flow out along afterwards. "Should I clea- " "P-push it back in…p-please…" If he hadn't noticed it by the stutter in your voice already, he did once he looked back up to see it. You're again blushing, clouded green eyes settled on his cock and the pale hand that guided himself gently out of you. But mainly, you looked nearly enchanted at the amount of cum starting to leak from in between your legs.

____

"I-if you're okay with that, I mean…" your voice was quiet, meek, the awkwardness of the situation starting to settle in both of you when Cal shook his head with a gentle…a loving…smile, "...I have a question for you, Kyra, I…I was wondering if you ever wondered if it was possible to safe your kind's extinction?"

W-what?! What was he meaning? To let your species get taken off the extinction list, you would need live proof that you're not the last free one of your kin-...i-is he implying…

"We have a mission, Cal…My…my personal affairs, they have no place in all of this…" Trying to distract your own mind from going to the wrong places again, you suddenly become increasingly aware where you are right now.

You're right out in the open, in public. Bounty Hunter Corpses and some just knocked out – but starting to stir – all around your two naked, shaking, sticky and still intertwined bodies, sweat reflecting the two merciless suns high high up in the great Tatooine Sky.

You had your first time out in the open, of all places.

"We can find a place for it…i-if you really want it to have a place…" He slowly went to put you back onto your feet, your underwear – which was drenched in your arousal, you only realize now – being the first thing of the heap he went to pull back onto your body, probably to keep you stuffed with a memory of today. Kneeling on the ground, his touch was completely different from minutes ago.

All he did was touch your skin and scales like you're made of literal glass, like you might break at the wrong or too rough of a touch.

He is right…did you even want a place for such an utopian plan?

Was there even a chance of saving your people? Would it even be of use?

"For once, don't think about whether or not it is of use…what do you want?" He interrupts from below, warm and gentle hands pulling up to the last inches of your shaking legs, making you wonder how you're even still standing. Your legs hurt, they were numb. Sore.

What do you want?

You wanted to find something to look forward to in your future, no more hiding, no more running…but not less adventures, having to sit on some boring ass planet for the rest of your life. You wanted to jump from Planet to planet in the search for new, interesting places…not for a safer place to sleep, constantly having to worry about having shelter, warmth and water.

You wanted an actual future…not just these annoying 'what if's' from Cere…

"Then let me help you…" He begs, rising back to his full height, having already finished with your pants and shoes as well, continuing with his lower half now. And yet, he never let his attention leave you, even if he didn't look at you, his thoughts were nearly all about you.

Then there was that small piece in his head that you couldn't look at, something he kept off limits from even you for whatever reason.

You wanted to ask but not to pry…

"One day I will let you see…" He mumbles while pulling his shirt over his head, his tousled orange locks poofed up from the sudden friction the tight neck had on them. "But…but today…it simply isn't the right mood. I don't want to ruin this moment for both of us, Dragonfly." From the corner of your eyes, you had to realize the knocked out Bounty Hunters started coming back to reality fully now, groaning and rubbing their heads as they sat up.

He shouldn't have just knocked them out…it would've been less trouble now.

"Why do you want to help me with my…my wish, Cal? We're not only busy with a mission, aren't we also just…way, way too young for such a life changing decision yet…?" Cal's eyes also caught wind of the waking Bounty Hunters now, a sudden rush in the way his hands helped you back into the rest of your clothes and himself into his light fabric Poncho. Only then he managed to give you his physical attention once more, placing his still gloveless left hand against the side of your face. Even after all the times he had to look at your face in peace, he still found new features to wonder at.

The arcs some of your scales grew in, some slightly crooked in growth from a tumble in your childhood during training, their composition having still been soft enough to take form from outside impacts. Like falling off a tree and smashing your cheeks a bit too roughly against a Boulder below.

Almost nothing ever left permanent damage with your skin's natural resilience, even the roughest physical interactions you had as a Youngling usually just bouncing off of you. You were called 'Bouncy Ball' by one of your Clones for a good reason...

Sometimes you wished you had worked like that emotionally as well…just letting everything bounce off of you, like you're actually supposed to as Jedi.

But on the inside, you're carrying more scars than your actual body, restless nights being the best example. Something you had less with Cal around, until recently of course...

Cal gently squeezes your hip with his other free hand, pulling you away from your ever growing black hole of thoughts…what if someday even he couldn't pull you back out of it? When the poison in your head won you over?

"Do you really want to know why?" "Of course I do, Cal…this isn't something to be just taken lightly or for granted after all."

Giving the dazed bodies next to you two one last glance, he is back with you with a growing smile. It looked nearly carefree too, if it wasn't for the hint of sadness in his eyes, he could've almost made you think that everything was going to be alright soon…something you doubted more and more each time you went to bed with no results for looking for the Force Sensitive Children whatsoever and Cere acting more odd by the day.

"Because I thi- no. No, that isn't enough for you, you deserve a definitive answer. L-let me try again…"

Pushing his face close to yours, his lips mere inches from yours as your noses touched ever so slightly, he exhales deeply, the silence that came after deafening.

"Because I know that I love you, Kyra…I love you!" He confessed, pressing his lips against yours to seal it as the truth before exclaiming it a second time, his own green eyes squinting as he held back the tears. He never thought he would get to say these three words to anyone in his life, he got so used to never being allowed to have someone to say them towards that he couldn't believe himself with how at ease you were with breaking the rules for him. Him alone.

He loves you…

"Cal…I-" "Even if you can't say it back yet, I can wait…i will wait." But his eyes told the truth, he was thinking about that piece of thought again. Why did his confession feel so...ultimate? What…what did he know that you didn't?

If anything, that dreadful feeling made you shake your head at his thoughtfulness, thoughtfulness that seemed to hurt him more than he wanted to show.

"No, Cal…I…I want to love you too…I just, I just never thought I would even find someone to confide in in the first place. This is far more than I could ever deserve!"

All you ever did as a Padawan besides training to become a fullfledged Jedi was finding quite elaborate ways to break the rules, to bother and annoy the high council because you were very severely aware of the value your unusually high Force Sensitivity held for the Jedi, going as far as keeping your actual true power in the Force known to extremely few People. They were afraid of someone else trying to take your Powers for themselves.

You always knew they all hated you for the massive inconvenience your existence alome brought in, nevertheless, you just had to be born as non-human. Everyone except two Masters and your loyal till-death-do-you-part Clones.

Everyone else saw you as a monster. A freak of nature that should have just died like the rest of them. Simply as a menace...

And a monster didn't deserve to feel love or to be loved, especially not a Monster that was trained to become an entirely detached, almost robotic Jedi!

As you sensed the Bounty Hunters finally stand back up again, you went to show and put emphasis on the 'Monster' part, tear streaked, wide eyes snapping over to them before almost instantly exerting enough Force to push their bodies into the cracked sandstone nearly 20 Feet behind them, embedding their now once again – forever – limb bodies in rubble and dust.

But Cal didn't even bother looking at what you just did, the pain you just caused with not even a muscle showing a sign of struggle while doing so. The amount of Force you just used would need years and years and even more years of Force Meditation to strengthen and perfect their connection to it. It came natural to you.

But the display of your frightening power didn't deter him at all, it seemed so at least when he goes through his messy hair with nothing but a sigh, "I don't care what you think you are, a monster, a menace, not deserving of my love or anybody's for that matter…it won't change my mind."

Of course it wouldn't. Cal had been concerningly stubborn with you since you first met, still remembering the thrilling chase he gave you after you took care of the Stormtroopers for him.

How he had just tackled you without even a second thought passing through that thick – very thick – skull of his, ignoring the imminent and quite obvious threat you were for his life at that moment, the Force making the air crackle around you like lightning was seconds from striking you.

Kark…if you hadn't managed to keep yourself from further losing the control over the Force, he would've been dead that day.

Cut to ribbons, pulled apart at the seams of his body, fried by uncontrolled Pyrokinesis…

The list of most definitely painful deaths he dodged that day was endless in your worst thoughts.

You hated yourself for being so selfish to keep him close to that same just muted danger everyday, especially now that he bonded with you…now you wouldn't just hurt him if you continued to try and deny these feelings.

"I know that you won't hurt me…" He mumbles, his voice sounding more wounded by yours than you would've expected, an even more pained frown on his pale face, "I thought we promised to have faith in each other…and especially ourselves…"

You did, didn't you?

You promised to trust his senses, his direction and in his abilities, in a sense he replaced the inner compass that was coldly taken from you the night Master Tegra was taken from you as well. You both had been feeling lost in the Galaxy for so so long, never really having anybody to really connect to, with some who went through the same traumatic events.

Then you found each other. You saw the chance to heal, together. And you went with it. Now he wanted to make his trust in you official and there you were...still doubting yourself.

You were about to break your promise with the only Person in the Galaxy left that you really came to trust. What a karking idiot you were for that…

"I…no yeah, I am pretty karking stupid, aren't I? Getting everything I ever wanted and still hitting my head against the opposite wall, horns full force ahead…"

Just like he did before, you pull yourself together, sniffling away your fresh tears and slipped your rough hands into his rough hands, closing your eyes at the immediate ease you felt flowing through you by feeling his heartbeat dimly beat in them. He was on edge, positive or negative, you couldn't- didn't want to care about this a second time as you were done preparing your stupid self!

Sometimes, one had to rip a bacta patch off with the hair still under to continue on.

"I, Kyra Yarmot, ...Love you too, Cal Kestis…" His reaction, the giant immediate smile pulling across his face, the relief inside of him radiating off and onto you making you grab your fear and crush it to the ground. This was the last time you doubted yourself and your right to feel these types of feelings. The very last time!

So when he is about to speak up, to air the thoughts of praise you had already heard from his open thoughts, you squeeze his hands tightly, shutting him up instantly.

"...I love you so much, all of it nearly tore me apart on restless nights. Some nights, I hung sick over the toilet for hours, two sides inside of me that kept pulling and pulling at me, keeping me from making my choice!"

And both sides had made you equally sick, going closer to that one would make you physically sick, just as acknowledging the other one did. So for the first time in a month, you finally felt at ease.

You have made your decision, no one left to control your choices...

"Are you happy with your decision?" He asks innocently and curious, one last look reaching across the battlefield you two would leave behind, hand in hand – until you're in Mantis-sight of course – and apparently very heavy decisions having been finally lifted off of your shoulders.

His query on your feelings was thoughtful, just like you knew of him, one of the things you indeed love dearly about him

"Yes…yes I am." You answer, a final, determined tone to it as you squeeze his hand once more, after many back and forths for weeks returning the loving smile he sends your way now almost immediately, the hesitation having left you alone. "You don't know how happy it makes me…knowing you're really feeling the same way, despite the fact that it is forbidden to us…"

By this point, you were sure they would've kicked you out of the Order anyways. No matter if you loved him or not, the acts that came before usually had been enough to exile other strong Jedi Knights and Masters well before you two.

"Who gives a bogling-shit about the rules of dead people anyways…" you return with a carefree chuckle, trying to follow his slow path back to the Mantis, but a realization hits you already at the first wobbly step.

You couldn't walk anymore, you were frozen in your position for minutes now, so you didn't notice as much apart from the new feeling of soreness when you put your clothes back on.

"Kyra?" You slip your hand from his to hide your embarrassed face in your hands as you start to giggle in shame at your own situation, a fresh purplish blush contrasting the black scales once more. Any more times of your oddly colored blood rising to your head today and you would faint right then and there…

"I can't karking walk, Cal…"

And for the first time since your heart-rending confessions to each other, you hear a near howling laugh leave his mouth as he throws his head back, "I should take…I should take responsibility for that… shouldn't I?" He inquired in the middle of his rarely this strong and unrestrained laughter, the sound making your heart flutter and for the first time you also accepted that feeling as Love, acknowledged it fully for all it was worth.

It was worth everything, you would do anything to always remember his loud, unrestrained laughs, especially for their rarity – though you wished to make them less rare in the future...for both of you.

And all these other small things that made Cal your Cal. Now he was truly yours and you were his, officially – but still in secret.

"Well, maybe you should, Kesti- CALLLL!" You whine back but it turned just as quickly into you shouting his name in literal shock, feeling his arms wrap around your thighs and back before lifting you off the ground without a second question or warning. His grip on your small, quivering body wasn't faltering, feeling even tighter to you now than before. Now that he owned your cracked, but fixable, heart – something he now knew more than ever he had to protect with his life – he didn't dare to even potentially think about accidentally dropping you or tripping with you in his arms. Though the latter might at least make both of you laugh some more.

"C-cal, makers…warn me next time please!" He was just a bit stunned in his tracks when you didn't even tell him off for example not having to do that. You actually accepted his help, though still with that blush. Something he absolutely adored on you, a thought he wasn't afraid to share with you. Even if just to see your blush grow even worse for his more than vaguely mischievous mood.

"Hmmm, maybe." He replied curtly, but the tone was clearly held playful as he began to walk again. Every once in a few feet, he readjusted your position, once almost throwing you up a bit too much – unusually high energy letting him do that with your extra "weight" – that's at least what he took from your straight up wide open eyes as he caught you again.

He sure had a pep in his tired steps now.

You didn't hold it against him either, you would've too, if you were able to walk right now, of course.

Then, as you began your ascend to the small hill the Mantis was currently lying dormant behind, the town already further behind you two, you stop him, "Wait. Hold up, Cal. What are we telling them about you carrying me? You're the hurt one!"

He kicks some loose sand and pebbles down the descent as he also thought about it for a moment before grinning a bit darkly, "I mean...we could always give you a rea- " "No thanks! Next idea please…" You brush off his unexpectedly morbid fake-plan as soon as the words tried to leave his chapped lips – though that didn't stop you from quietly chuckling at his hidden darker humor, never having known he was even capable of joking about such themes.

He fake pouts before shaking his head, "Don't worry about it, leave everything to me for today."

And so you did.

You had your doubts though when you first stepped back onto the Mantis, Merrin the first one to rush to you two, her eyes wide with worry. "By the makers, what took you two so long?! We tried to comm you two but…why are you carrying Kyra? Is she hurt? If yes how ba-" "It's a long long story, Merrin. But no, she isn't exactly hurt, her…her legs just gave out. She exerted herself a bit much today…she just never knows when to slow down."

Says the boy who rutted into your quite poorly accustomed virgin cunt like he would straight up die if he didn't do any sooner…

But they couldn't know that, so you – difficult as it was – nod in agreement, "Yeah, we got ambushed…again…and were outnumbered. I had to run more than I am surprisingly used to." The noise you three made must've been enough to draw the other two from their rooms, Cere exhaling in relief. But nothing more at first. She never showed too much of her worry and sometimes you weren't so sure if she really ever truly had been worried.

___

"You're hurt, Kyra?" "No…just needlessly tired. Guess I shouldn't skip leg day just because I can fly."

Cal failed to hold back an obvious snort, which Merrin probably thankfully thought was for the wrong reason. You knew why he laughed though, he watched your solo training sessions every time he had the chance too. You did not skip leg day – that much was sure – and your thighs alone could kill a man if you so wished. He remembers the strength you had in them as he made you hold onto him with nothing but them at the start…of…of…y-yeah.

He quickly discarded the amazing memory, feeling your claws subtly caress the back of his neck with gentle scratches, not enough at all to cause damage. Only enough for a shiver that traveled down his whole body. You both were highly mischievous, that much is clear.

"All that matters is that you two returned safe…but…did you find it?" Surely she would be meaning your lightsaber and although it was definitely in dire need of a clean and a quick electrical fix here and there from the stupid karking sand on Tatooine – you were more than ready to leave this stupid rock of a planet behind you again – it was just like you remembered it.

It still reminded you of its old wielder…would he be ashamed if he saw your recent...acts with Cal? Would he be indifferent…or could he maybe actually have been happy that you were happy? After all, that was something he always wanted for you, especially since he knew how you felt with your nearly eradicated origins, having no memory of your earliest childhood or parents.

"Of course I did. I wouldn't have left this karking rock without it…"

Using the by now more wordless communication between you two, you ask Cal to be so kind as to let you stand on your own, even if just for a moment to show them all what made you this furious for losing it in the first place. When you slowly took the blue hued and heavy weapon from the finally reoccupied clip at your now dirty pants, even Greez's – who showed his relief of nobody getting hurt in his own quiet special way – interest was piqued. Until this day, he had seen only Cal's Lightsaber, with its orange Blade. And maybe Cere's, if she even had one anymore…

BD, still slightly stunned from what his innocent "eyes" were set to witness earlier, climbed onto Cal's Shoulder to get a better view this time as well, the first time having been hurried to be replaced with other matters at hand.

"Maybe don't stand there, Merrin…" you insist towards the Nightsister that unknowingly stood close enough to get pierced by the blade once you pressed the button. Grimacing at apparently the same image you suddenly saw in front of you, she nods apologetic before taking a few big steps back, as well as Greez and Cal.

Within a second, the pure white glow of your lightsaber illuminated the dimmed interior of the ship, the familiar humming of the blade filling your ears like a nostalgic song you hadn't heard in too long. Sorrowful eyes glanced down at the broken second blade on the other end, nothing but fizzles coming out when you pushed the button...it had been like this since the accident that took your old companions and friends away from you.

You remember how Master Tegra showed you different poses and stances with that same double blade, knowing how dangerous it was. It was hotter than most crystals due to its unique properties…it was a synthetic crystal that had been purified by your Master when he was younger and still just a Jedi Knight. From his stories about it, you knew the crystal once belonged to a former friend and fellow Jedi that lost the path.

He always wanted to keep a piece of not only his friend but also as a constant reminder of what could happen to a Jedi that got enticed to join the dark side. It kept him strong, determined...but not less enthusiastic about teaching you both sides' techniques.

"I have never seen an actually white Blade in person…" Merrin confesses amazed, watching you carefully twirl it – yourself imagining the second blade still in working condition – , your skill of handling it evident. Just like Cal, you spent most of your free time training either with the Lightsaber or your unique Physical Capabilities, only rarely the Force to stay undetected for longer, especially not in its full capacity. You were never allowed to, to keep you hidden, even when the Order still was existing.

But Cere wasn't as awestruck at you showing off, grimacing, "Do not do that in the ship, you're going to break something if you fling it around like that!"

Just like always, you swallow your own snippy comment directed at her for surprisingly being a prune again after being excited for you when you first sensed your Lightsaber this morning. You long gave up trying to see a pattern, since there clearly was none.

"And do not give me that look either, kid. We're flying to Zeffo while you're both resting up. You can train all you want as soon as you wake up, okay?" That did sound more like a plan. Agreeing quietly as you extinguish the blade once more to put it back on your clip, feeling exhaustion starting to rush in now that your Adrenaline Levels finally began to sink again.

With the first yawn coming from him, closely followed by a more guttural, growl like one from you, Greez tsked at you two, already making his way back to his seat at the cockpit to start the Mantis for a quick lift off, wanting to reach Zeffo before the next storm was planned on it. "You two already look like you rode a bantha horde across the mountains, don't you two dare fall asleep on the couch again! Go to bed!", were his last words before you heard the ship's door hiss shut and he became too concentrated on the controls for further bickering. Well, at least he seemed to care for your wellbeing by now, something you back then wouldn't have ever expected to happen.

Both Merrin and Cere nod at the blunt Latero's words, Merrin barely having the control to not laugh at you two unknowingly challenging each other to a yawning match, one louder and longer than the other until you both for a moment looked at the couch, squinting. It did look comfo- "Don't even think about it, Kyra. You too, Cal! Off to bed with you two, come on!"

Though grumbling at how quickly they wanted to get "rid" of you two all of the sudden, Cal nods for the both of you. Once again without warning, he effortlessly lifts you back into his arms, grinning without an ounce of shame when he notices the lack of complaint of him not warning you like he was supposed to now. Instead, another growling yawn follows, such an eccentric, bone rattling one that you bare your pristine fangs and sharp canines to the open room. "I can see now why Greez feared you for a good while, they look…terrifying." He exclaimed slowly, turning to the rest of the crew when he realized you probably wouldn't give any sensible answers anymore.

He really did a number on you…the, the Bounty Hunter he means, of course…

"Well, if you would at least answer me, Kyra, you're reacting less by each minute... He laughs awkwardly, subtly trying to keep the noise down for you though when he sees how small your eyes are really getting, clearly unfocused but still on him every once in a while, a tired smile everything you return at his question.

He just wished he had some more time to talk to you before tomorrow, when everything would have to work differently again.

Even if just for then.

"Truly a spectacle to see her be quiet for once, just like you, Cal…" Merrin looks over to your still blinking self, smiling when she notices you still fully witnessed everything around you, looking around – though tired – but you just decided to save yourself the energy you could waste by talking with anyone right now. "Though I know she would love to talk smack back right about now!" A small nod from your place against his warming shoulder and the sandy poncho agreed with her, a playful frown being the limited extent of visible emotions you went with.

"I'll be going with my package…then, we'll debrief the mission after training, so I'll…see you guys later…" It took two more yawns for him to make his actual way back to the engine room you shared, cursing a bit under his breath when he somehow only now remembers the ladder taking you two down to your beds, something so basic in your daily routine, he didn't know how he forgot about it...

You really did mess with that brain of his, didn't you? But who wouldn't fall head over heels for you…he was just incredibly lucky that he was the first to see the true beauty that was you.

"Gimme a word, can you still climb a ladder?" "Uh-huh…" "It's not exactly a word, but I'll still take it." He places you back on your wobbly two feet, making sure nobody's feet were caught between the gaps in the metal platform while BD took you as his choice of descend today, beeps sounding like a laugh when you couldn't follow him to the beds yourself.

'That's what happens when you're overeager!'

Did BD just laugh at you for having your first time in the middle of a desert town? Yeah, probably…but he had a point. Though, you had no privacy anywhere else-

"Stop thinking in a loop and especially stop these 'what we did is bad' thoughts. I don't regret it, do you?" He mutters a small 'See?' when you immediately shake your head in a vigorous no, eyes as wide as they could be with sleep trying to take over.

"Do you want me to...uhm... help undress you? It's going to be uncomfortable to sleep that way…"

A few minutes later, you're both finally bed ready, though he still idled a bit on your side, warming your now shivering body as sleep clawed at not just your thoughts. But something kept you awake.

While everything should be feeling right for once, you got your Lightsaber back, you jumped over your shadow and you confessed your love to the redhead next to you, a stupid little smile on him as he let his right hand glide through your hand, gently untangling them from the battle you had on Tatooine today. It would take weeks for all the stupid sand to get out from your scalp and other body parts, feeling the small particles grind under some particular scales on your body.

But then there was this nagging feeling at the back of your head. Something was….wrong. Not everything was fine and yet you had no idea what it was, you could'nt pinpoint it. What if you had another vision tonight…what if it showed Cal getting hurt because of you?

"Cal…is everything alright?" The question was asked without a previous thought being exchanged by the two of you to give him an immediate reason for your worry, but when he freezes for just a moment, you were certain something was wrong…

"You're just exhausted, Kyra…you know your senses get a bit funky then. Tomorrow is a new day and look at it that way: You can finally fight me in actual Lightsaber Combat! I can't wait to see what you're capable of with it!"

He was rambling on, words flowing almost too quickly for your current state to actually follow him mentally, so you just...nod. You didn't question the unusual pattern of speech he suddenly took to respond to your concern.

You didn't question the sudden speed he ended your warming interaction, or how he left your bed side like it burned him, some to you inaudible excuse leading him back so his bed.

You were too tired now, still slightly basking in the afterglow of your not so Jedi like acts earlier, so you didn't even file these actions for worrisome. Maybe he had been tired as well, he had to be, he exerted himself even more than you. He held onto you, made you feel all these fantastical things for the first time. Such a feat is tiring, especially after fighting 25 Bounty Hunters at your side…

"Hey Kyra?" You hear his bed creak a bit from him letting himself fall onto it with a heavy sigh, a hint of burden hidden in it.

"Yes, Cal?" Would he maybe tell you what is evidently wrong after all…? Did he not trust you as much as you promised each other in the end?

Silence, deafening silence...

"I-I love you…" He claims, voice heavy with something, a sniffle going right past your numbed senses by now as well as you could only smile at the black partition that hid his figure from you. He made you feel like a whole different person…a better version of yourself.

"And I love you too, Goodnight Cal…and I can't wait for Zeffo to train…"

Blissful and happy about today's events, you didn't hear the effect your true-to-the-core words had on him. Meanwhile you drifted off to a hopefully dreamless sleep quicker than you had since the fall of the Order, feeling mostly at ease for once, again.

"And nothing will ever change my feelings for you, my beautiful, breathtaking Dragonfly…I love you more…"

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