#i saw a girl the other day who wanted to shift to the spn universe and she said ‘i have to fight the devil and god’ ???

[steviescrystals]

shifting content on tiktok is soooo funny to me like not even in an “omg this is so cringe” way it’s just genuinely fascinating… i see it on my fyp all the time and i’m not complaining bc i devour that shit every time

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

Sam Girl- Sam Winchester x Reader

Pairings: Sam x Reader, Dean, Castiel

Warnings: FLUFFY FLUFF, mentions of the last half of the final season of SPN and the emotional rollercoaster we’re all currently on (I know, I’m sorry!) lying, secrets, insecurities.

Word Count: 2,407

A/N: This imagine kind of plays off my series Crossing Parallel Lines but it’s totally separate! I came up with this imagine from this locket that I bought from Hot Topic. The Winchesters are always so uncomfortable with the idea of “the other world with the actors who play them on TV” and I love Changing Channels; one of my top favorite Supernatural episodes!

*Italics are flashbacks*

 “What?! No! What?! Oh, my Chuck, what the actual hell!” You yell at your phone and throw it across the room.

You huff in annoyance but you feel your heartbreak; you just watched the trailer for the last half of the final season of Supernatural.

“Y/N? Are you okay, I heard you yelling? What happened?” Sam asks, slowly stalking into your slightly ajar door. He knew you could get pretty expressive about your interests and sometimes, the best thing to do is to give you space.

You had been living at the Bunker for a few years since you had connections to the Winchester family. Not that you ever asked for it, but you grew up in the life as well, thanks to your Dad, who ended up getting killed during a hunt when you were sixteen. You had run on your own, doing your hunts, until you got in over your head, and ended up in front of the Bunker, needing the help of the Winchesters to defeat God. Yeah, he was after you too. Your family had more to do with him and had pissed him off, more times than not. It was your Dad who had discovered the lies Chuck had instilled into almost every hunter since the dawn of time, and that wasn’t okay. So, you had to pick up essentially where he left off.

You let out a heavy sigh, running your hands over your face. “Yeah, Sam, I’m okay. I just uh, watched something pretty, well I don’t know how I feel,” you look to him.

“What did you see?” He asks, coming to sit next to you on your bed, after getting the okay from you.

“Um, some animal got hurt and no one could save it,” you say as nonchalantly as possible, hoping Sam would still buy it.

“Oh no, yeah that would upset me too. I’m sorry you saw that baby; are you good now?” He asks as he wraps you up in his arm, pulling you into his side, and kissing your head. You hold onto the opposite side of him, nuzzling your head into his side and showing him the same affection as he was showing you, but also feeling guilty about your lie.

“Yeah, I am. I’m good now, thanks,” you kiss him quickly before you left the room. You hated lying to him but he could never know that side of you. He would dismiss you for sure.

Sam and you had been dating for roughly six months after he heard your discussion with Dean about a current crush you had. Names were never given but it wasn’t hard to figure out who you were referring to. The idea of being close to someone on that level of intimacy again scared him. He knew what the inevitable was for someone like him and it was unfair to the other and it hurt him with a pain he never felt with anything else. When he took interest in a woman, she becomes the center of his world the longer he is with her. Most of the time, however, they never stay too long. It could be a day or a night, or a few days if he was lucky, but the last long-term relationship he had, crushed his soul. Time went by and healed those wounds, but he couldn’t let anyone get too close, no matter how much he wanted to be invested. But when you came into his life, something shifted. He immediately took a liking to you but he wasn’t sure how far he could go. As time went on, and he knew you were sticking around, he allowed himself to go there. He allowed those feelings he knew too well, to flourish within his heart, and it was strange to him, but he liked it. When he found out the feelings were mutual, it did something in him he wasn’t used to; it made him happy. Sure, he’s been happy before, but he had a lot riding on a possibility and if he played his cards right, it could be extraordinary. And it has been. It all started slow, a snail’s pace really, but you couldn’t blame him. If you had been hurt and uncertain as often as he was, you would take everything slow too. That’s why lying to him now, was killing you on the inside. He didn’t deserve it but you knew what kind of man he was and you knew how he felt about certain things.

The library was quiet, so you could be alone with the screaming in your head. You fought with yourself constantly whether, to be honest, or not. Your biggest secret was a huge part of who you were. Adoration for the TV show, Supernatural, was an understatement; you LOVED it! But, hearing the stories from Sam and Dean about when they were stuck in another universe where there were people who act like them, you knew it was unmentionable. Social media was your avenue to let out all your thoughts and ideas with people who shared the same love. No one knew that you lived with the Winchesters, or that they were even real, but that made it more alluring to you. Sitting at the table with your laptop open, you scroll through different comments left by other fans of the show. They were seeing what you were living and that was the most rewarding secret you kept. Pulling the new locket out of your shirt, the words Sam Girl, engraved on the top. Opening it, the anti-possession symbol sat on one side, and a picture of Sam on the other. You run your thumb over the picture, knowing that he was yours, but kept it hidden from him. You owned a plethora of shirts, hats, jewelry, notebooks, and so many other merchandises, that you were quite proud of. You even had a successful blog that was dedicated to the show and the characters, and your imagination with fanfiction. All things you knew Sam would disapprove of. You began writing out your reactions to different videos or events that happened in, not just the Supernatural world, but other fandoms as well.

“Hey, there’s my girl. I was wondering what happened to you,” says Sam. He smiles his small, one-sided grin at you, and sits in a chair to your left.

“Hi, sorry, I got busy writing and I guess I lost track of time,” you admit, closing out your Internet tab and leaving your screen on the cute photo of you and him on your wallpaper.

“You always do,” he chuckles and takes one of your hands. Sam knew about your love of writing and only a few of the topics you wrote about. You laugh along with him, blushing at the fact he knew you so well.

“The life of a writer, baby!” You say, confident in your work, but seeing the look on Sam’s face, quickly changed the mood.

“Where did that come from?” He asks, looking at the chain that hung from your neck. Looking down, you noticed the locket had made its way out of your shirt.

“Oh, that’s nothing!” Grabbing at it and tucking it back in your shirt, you try to advert Sam’s curiosity but that fails.

“Oh, come on, Y/N, let me see it. It looked beautiful.” He comments but you deny him.

“Sorry, but it’s fallen into my bra now,” you say, hoping that would end the conversation but the Winchester Brothers were both very stubborn.

“Don’t think I’m afraid to go in there.” Slight darkness fogged over the normal brightness of his eyes, but it left just as fast as it showed.

“Honestly Sam, it’s nothing. Trust me, you don’t want to know what it is.”

“Trust me y/n, I do want to know. My girlfriend suddenly has a locket I’ve never seen before and won’t show me? I have to wonder if her other boyfriend gave it to her.

You deadpan to him, giving your best bitch face, and he just laughs.

“I’m kidding, but seriously, I want to see it.”

“You didn’t move at first, so he stood up and leaned over to reach in your shirt, but you backed away before he could get there.

“Fine,” you grumble, unclasping the necklace from the back and hand it over.

He seems satisfied that he won this battle, flipping the locket around in his larger than average hands. His eyebrows knitted together, in the cutest look of wonder, like he was a child with a new toy. He opened it, stared down at it for a minute, then handed it back to you.

“You have a locket with a picture of me, which I guess is normal in relationships, but why does it say Sam Girl on the top?” He looked at you quizzically, wanting to know more.

This was it, the time you were dreading the most, but you couldn’t do it anymore; you couldn’t keep lying to him. You prepared yourself for a long discussion and a lot of disgust from him, so you sat back in your chair.

“Sam, I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

“Oh, okay,” he sits back in his seat, eyes glossed with worry and locked on you.

“I’m a Sam girl. I watch that TV show about you and Dean and your lives; I’m a big fan of it. We have, the fans, what are called someone’s girl. Like me, I’m a Sam girl, so I tell other people how I feel about you , what you say and do, and I talk about my romantic feelings towards you. Well, you on this show; it’s a little different.”

Sam had kept quiet the whole time you explained your secret and he held no emotions. You didn’t know what was going through his head, but it couldn’t be good.

“You like that show about our lives from that other universe?” He asks, suddenly breaking the silence.

“Yes,” you answer, hoping he wouldn’t explode at any given point.

“And you didn’t want to tell me about it?” He then looks to you with his infamous puppy dog eyes, wondering why you kept something like this from him.

Taken aback by his calmness, you continue to explain. “Well, I heard the stories of when you went to that other world and how much it freaked you and Dean out, so I thought you would disown me or something if I was into it.”

“Why would I do that?” Sam asks, sadness now forming across his features.

“Because I like something you make fun of! I thought you would make fun of me for what I do. I’m in the whole fandom, Sam! The show, the merchandise, the fanfiction, the blogs; everything!”

That sparked his interest again. “You write fanfiction?” His tone got more questioningly, but you took it as he was going to lay on the mockery.

“Yes, but I swear it’s nothing like some of the stories people write about! It’s actually all clean and sweet. I write about our dates and my feelings, but play it off as fiction.”

Then, his face melted into a smile (GIF), that childlike wonder again. “You write about us?”

“Yeah, I do. And people like it.”

“They do?” He’s surprised now, telling by how high his eyebrows are raised on his face.

“Everyone thinks you’re romantic and that you’re the best boyfriend, but the best part about it, it’s all true,” you smile, but hide it from wandering eyes.

“That’s… sweet,” he comments, stunning you.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I love that you write about us. I think it’s great that you are proud of our relationship and it makes me proud of it too, especially considering other people think I’m pretty great.” He has a little smirk playing on his lips; he’s going to brag about this to Dean later.

“So, you’re okay with all this?” You start to creep a little further into his level of positivity from this topic.

“Surprisingly I am, and I love that you’re showing off that you’re mine,” he pecks your lips before asking another question.

“Wait, are there more of these lockets?”

“Yes, and there’s some that say Dean girl. The same concept,” you comment like it’s nothing but it’s a big deal to Sam.

“There are Dean girls, too?!”

“And there are Castiel girls too, and even some of the other people you guys have met in life, but mainly you three.”

“Oh my God, wait until Dean and Cas hear about this!” Sam was set on telling his brother and his friend; the worst thing you could think of.

“No, please don’t!” Panic set inside you. Telling Sam was one thing but Dean was another.

“Why not?”

“Because Dean won’t be so nice about this. He will mock and ridicule me so much for this. He’s way more opinionated and harsher than you are.”

He thought about it for a minute but knew you were right. Sometimes, his older brother would take things too far, to the point of hurting those he cared about, and Sam couldn’t let that happen to you.

“You’re right, he definitely will freak out over this. He’s way more headstrong about what he doesn’t like. Alright, I won’t tell him and Cas? Well, he’s gotten a lot better with human interactions but, we wouldn’t want to throw him for a loop again,” Sam laughed at confusing the angel with more human things, like when he first came to earth.

“Thank you, Sam,” You say, going to hug him.

“Of course, no one is going to hurt my girl, not even me. But uh, y/n, we need to get you another locket,” he says taking the locket in his fingers again.

“Why? I like it and I paid good money for it,” you take it back and drop it in your shirt.

“Well, there are more of these lockets out there so that means other girls are walking around with a picture of me around their necks. It’s not okay that yours is like everyone else’s, so I’m going to make a special one that I will have engraved with a message from me that’s just to you; my girl,” he whispers the last part right in your ear, electrifying chills through you.

“O-okay.” You stutter out as Sam goes fishing for your locket from the bottom up.

Second A/N: When I was looking for that GIF of Sam, ‘Sexy Back’ started playing; it was perfect!

Tag list: @fandom-princess-forevermore​  @tloveswriting​ @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams​ @simpleb00x​ @67-chevy-baby​ @grace15ella​ @marvelfansworld​ @austin-winchester67​ @pecu-1-iar-lester​ @irn-dad​ @trippin-over-my-fandoms​ @randomwriter23​ @cuddyclothes​ @meilynnotmailyn​ @lilulo-12​ @lillysilverus​ @mereka18​ @jackofalltrades1937​  @samfcknwin​ @thegirlwidabook​ @cutesymrsinuyashagamer​ @emowolf227​ @littlesunshinesammy​

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[mittensmorgul]

Plastic fantastic

I've put off doing this long enough, and spent the intervening days reading everyone else's interpretations, so there's gonna be a lot in here, but also a lot that I've probably not focused on too heavily because other folks have already said the things better than I could've. So this is just a recap of the things I personally feel are most significant and thematically cool going forward. It's... a lot... :'D

15.04 was infused with an element of surreality. Which I ended up referring to throughout this post as “plastic.” Hence the title. But this got super long, so here have a cut. :’D

Right from the THEN segment, we're reminded of Cas. Rowena's sacrifice, Cas's own suffering at Chuck's hands, and how this has affected Sam and Dean-- Sam miserable for having done what they had to do (right?) in sacrificing Rowena, and Dean PISSED but feeling like this was the only way to free them from what he sees as Chuck being a "fanboy" of them. It shifts directly into BECKY, who was described previously as a "fangirl" and involved in a supremely unhealthy relationship with both Chuck AND Sam (even if it was completely one-sided and creepy with Sam). And then shifts to Chuck being told-off by Amara in 15.02, in essentially a recap of all the best insults and condemnations she could fling at him... because he deserved it honestly, I mean HE LOCKED HER AWAY FROM THE DAWN OF CREATION TO SUFFER ALONE WHILE HE DID HIS THING TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL BIG.

Okay, sorry, I just really hate that guy and his hypocrisy sometimes (read: all the time).

Right. Where were we. At the beginning.

Gunfight in the bunker, with the Danger Lights activated. I've been waiting for this scene since we got BTS photos of Jensen all battered and ragged with the beard. This... isn't real. It's not SPN universe real anyway. Since the SPPT promo came out, I have been eager to see this episode just for this scene. I guessed it was a vision Sam was having/receiving because of the Equalizer Wound, the beginning of his glimpses into "Chuck's writing process." Is this an AU that Chuck actively created? Is it just the sort of thing Chuck daydreams about? Or in the style of Supernatural episodes past, is this some sort of window into the ending Chuck wants/intends to write for them, which obviously would be something they absolutely could not let stand?

Like Dean’s nightmare he awoke from in 10.09 where he saw himself slaughtering a room full of people at the beginning of the episode, which became reality by the end of the episode? Is Chuck’s horrific ending that Becky hated what we actually saw play out in Sam’s nightmare? The show has invited us to consider that as at least a possibility. Or, to at least assume Chuck’s horrifying ending was at least that awful.

There's so much in this scene that doesn't match up with what any of us might imagine Sam would even consider a nightmare of his own mind's creation, you know? And yet it's SAM who is plagued by these incongruous nightmares that don't even really connect up with things that are relevant to the things currently on his mind, you know? After recent events, one would think the things that would plague Sam's nightmares would be the loss of Jack, or his role in Rowena's apparent death and his guilt/depression over it, or even the fight against the ghostpocalypse and the people who lost their lives as a result of that. Instead, he's having "nightmares" about having gone full Boy King of Hell demon blood addict, which hasn't been a pressing personal fear of his for more than a decade. He's even talked specifically about how he's made his peace with that entire time in his life, such as his talk with Magda in 12.04. NOT coincidentally also written by Davy Perez.

That's because... this is NOT Sam's "nightmare." Why would Sam "dream" about Dean's regular gun having the power to spark out demons? Why would he "dream" about BENNY being a human (and alive!) ally of Dean's that Sam had sent his own army of demons to destroy? Why would Sam dream that his demonic-self would hunt down and kill his loved ones (Bobby! Jody! and nobody else mentioned! as if this was some weird time-travelling situation combined with Benny's human presence!), and then in the end hunt down and murder Dean in cold blood? This wasn't Sam-As-Lucifer (though I believe we will be seeing that particular nightmare in next week's episode), but SAM. HIMSELF. Turned into the demon he always feared he was "destined" to become before they learned how to tear up the story and make their own choices about their destiny.

The problem now is that they actually believe that Chuck has gone, and they're on their own now. Sam believes that this must be his own nightmare, and therefore he's just stuck with it, as his own mind and memories and fears come back to torment him. He's lost his power to fight against it, like Dean's lost his power to fight against his current experience. It's as if the only power Chuck retains over them is in the fact that they BELIEVE he's gone, you know? Magic's power is in the belief of the caster, Rowena has recently reminded us with her own life. And I think that's exactly what's leaving Sam and Dean so completely vulnerable to manipulation by Chuck, in ways they've never before been vulnerable to it. Because they've both staked their entire futures on the fact that they so firmly believe they're free of Chuck's story.

Sam is just... so confused by this nightmare, he can't even make sense of it at all. And the sleep deprivation isn't probably helping.

I think we've all covered the Meat Man conversation already, as well as all the Dean vs Food stuff, so I'll only add that commentary in here if I think of something I haven't already said on the subject.

Dean calls out Sam's assertion that he's fine, directly telling him "No, you're not," and expressing his understanding of what he's going through.

And here come the cheerleaders. And doesn't this (as I believe many of us have already said over the last two weeks) just smack of Sam's "fake case" Gadreel had him trapped researching inside his own mind in 9,10? Crowley had to convince Sam that what he was trapped inside wasn't real, that he was possessed by an angel who was forcing him to experience these things. And obviously the God Wound isn't direct possession, and I don't doubt that this is a real case, but how much of this case might have been "arranged" by Chuck, or how much of Sam's perception right now may be clouded or colored because of the effects of that Wound?

Not only that, but Dean is also a participant in this entire odd case, and he doesn't even HAVE a wound connecting him directly to Chuck, you know? But his judgment seems to be equally clouded by something, as well... I'm gonna call it Intense Denial. Dean is basing his entire life right now on the presumption that Chuck has stopped interfering in their lives, when I think the exact opposite is true. I think Chuck is now focused on them more directly and more intensely than he ever has been before, and their obliviousness to that fact is only strengthening his hold on them, and amplifying his power over them.

But back to the current point in the episode:

Sam interviews the vice principal of the school, and the girl who was killed was in the drama club, debate team, cheerleading, campus ministry, you name it. That's... an awful lot of potential friends, so Sam asks about BEST friends, and we're directed to Veronica "and the girls." Veronica is singled out, which makes her speech to the empty room later even more interesting...

This episode relies on a lot of the elements of the case they're investigating to seem rather... plastic. And Veronica stood out as one of these elements. She could've just been "one of the girls," but she was identified specifically here, and it's like that designation itself somehow altered reality just a little bit. Heck I think I'm gonna need to put this line of thought on hold until we get to the speech scene. Remind me to come back to this.. >.>

The Whitmans interrupt (oh those crazy parents from 1.08, at it in a completely different role), seemingly uncaring of the dead girl and demanding their son's future not be ruined by postponing the lacrosse game. (OH THE IRONY) Sam rightly calls them out on framing it as "the end of the world" if he doesn't get into his first choice college. These parents have already been established to be Those Kinds of Parents who will do anything for precious little Billy to get whatever he wants in the world. They'd probaly strangle kittens on live TV if it would guarantee their son's future, you know? We haven't even seen the full extent of what they were willing to do for their son, and they already feel like cartoonish villain types.

I need to take another aside here to talk about the boy’s name. BILLY. Which, considering how we left things in 14.20, we’ve all been wondering about what Billie is up to in the Empty, right? This boy that will, by the end of this episode, become a literal stand-in for Jack on a cosmic scale? Is called Billy. Just... consider that.

I can already hear Becky critiquing Chuck's Monster of the Week here... and in turn parts of the fandom cynically saying that this is the complaint on MotW episodes forever-- that they're boring or unimportant or skippable because the monsters are predictable and boring, and just... NO. YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY MISSED THE POINT.

I think the general assumption is that the case we watch Sam and Dean solve is being directly affected by Chuck's simple act of typing it out. In exactly the same way we believed Metatron influenced the events of s9 by the simple act of typing it out. Could he control the thoughts of the people he wrote about? Not exactly. Could he manipulate the situation via the power of the angel tablet-- the direct word of God-- to influence the scenario and events in improbable ways? Yes, I absolutely think he can. And I'll continue discussing this as we go along.

But we return to Dean leaning against the car eating pretzels. I've already written about his constant eating and drinking in this episode, but PRETZELS?! That's a new one for Dean. It's usually jerky, or chips, or candy, or... all sorts of other things. Where did he even get the pretzels from?

He'd apparently been at the morgue examining the body, and found a vampire tooth. So this case that seemed NOTHING like a vampire case based on how the body was found, suddenly there's irrefutable evidence that it's a vampire instead. Almost as if the facts of the case have shifted somehow, rather improbably and inexplicably. Just as inexplicably as Dean finding the beaver mascot riding a scooter "awesome."

The second girl to be abducted calls out Veronica as being "so fake" in her grief over Susie's death. And yet, improbably, after a long cheer practice, she's the only one alone in the school parking lot late at night. Where's the rest of the cheer team? The coach? Anyone? How was she there all alone? Yet she was, because the case needed her to be.

It's plastic.

Like the little square of crime scene tape left unattended in the woods. Weird, right? That after the scene was cleared and the original investigators left, it was still left there around an empty patch of dirt. And Sam and Dean... are just... standing there at the edge of the woods, boxed in by yellow crime scene tape and orange cones while they have their conversation about the fact the police have no idea what could've done this, and Sam laments the fact that it's THEIR job. THEY deal with the truth and carry the weight, while everyone else gets to go back to their blissfully unaware lives.

Dean busts out the flask while the two of them stand there in their own personal crime scene box, like their lives are the crime here. They ARE the victims of a cosmic crime. And the corpse of what their lives could've been, of what Sam had always thought he'd want of his own life, to live in a little town like this and just be NORMAL, is what they'll find on the autopsy here. And Sam is just beginning to realize he can't identify with those sorts of people at all.

And then we jump right from Sam lamenting the lost white picket fence to Becky's house-- where the front railing is white pickets, where she's built a real life for herself. Yet even something about it seems... off... just a little bit. That older kid seems way older than 7, which I assume would be the oldest any of her kids could be based on when we last saw her in canon, before she began to recover from her obsession and begin building a true happy life for herself. Heck maybe I'm talking myself into a problem that doesn't exist, and he's supposed to be just a really big 6-year-old, but okay. Or maybe he's adopted, or the kid of her husband from a previous relationship. GAH This is so not relevant to anything, why can't I let it go... >.>

Regardless, she clearly loves her family, and is invested in her life with them. Her husband is a man who truly appreciates and loves her in return. I'm really happy for her. Her husband at one point says, "Where would I be without you," and she jokingly replies "Covered in puke." And it's the same sort of cute exchange we saw between Sam and Jess in the pilot, where he asked, "What would I do without you?" and she jokingly replied, "Crash and burn." And considering that Sam himself will mention Jessica at the end of the episode, it seems worth pointing out the thematic similarity they're trying to set up here.

I wonder how much Becky has told her husband about the reality of the Supernatural books she's built her business and hobbies around, or her own part in the events of the books? More than Sam ever told Jess about the reality of his life? At this point, I'm gonna be glad her husband didn't end up pinned to the ceiling on fire.

Becky waves goodbye to her family as they leave for a day of fun, and Chuck waves back at her. He's inserted himself into her life again, and it's freaking creepy.

Chuck says he "wanted" to see her, and corrects himself to "needed." And here we have the laying out of the classic “NEED VS WANT” conundrum we’ve been yelling about for literal years. Funny that Chuck has it all wrong himself, you know? Becky makes herself clear that she neither wants nor needs him. He's not welcome there at all, and yet he presses on, past her assertion that his problems aren't her problem. I've already written a little bit about what Chuck apparently wanted from Becky, and what he actually got from her, so I'll try not to repeat myself, but to say that Becky was far kinder to him than he deserved.

So we learn about the second cheerleader's kidnapping, Dean makes an uncharacteristically flippant comment in front of the Vice Principal (somebody has a fetish), and kinda... blinks in shock at himself before professionally affirming they'll look into it and turning and walking away. Like he can't quite believe he actually said that. Which is weird, right? Because this is the sort of thing Dean has made flippant and kinda gross comments on in the past, right? But even when he's made comments about which cheerleaders are legal (4.13), or suggestive comments about even college students, he's rarely done so this blatantly directly TO the school principal, you know? This was... odd... like everything is just slightly out of sync.

I'm fascinated by the tiny models of Supernatural things that Chuck is prodding at in Becky's house. The first thing we see is Lil Levi's gas station. The only time we have EVER seen this gas station was in 10.03, when Hannah and Cas stopped there for gas, and yet Becky has the Impala parked by the pump, and what looks like a yellow classic car of some sort on the other side, hidden by the pumps so it's impossible to really see it there.

(I swear I will replace these Mittens Quality Screencaps™ as soon as HotN properly caps the episode... apologies for the photos of my tv in the meantime)

It was Cas's pimpmobile we've actually seen at this location in canon. And this was the gas station where Cas was losing his grace, desperately trying to get to Dean in time to save him, and Hannah kept getting them lost. He calls her out over her feelings-- dangerous temptations-- clouding her judgment and getting in the way. They're attacked by Adina, and Crowley arrives just in time to save them both from her, stealing her grace and force-feeding it to Cas, enabling him to power up again and save Dean. Aah, callbacks! And I mean, it might just be a visual callback to the fact that Jensen also directed that episode (and that gas station was named after his nephew), but it's still a reference that brings an awful lot of baggage with it, regardless of what prompted its appearance in miniature in Becky's house. Not to mention, this reference happened LONG after Chuck had supposedly stopped writing about the Winchesters' lives. And yet... Becky seems to know this reference, which had nothing to do with Sam and Dean and everything to do with Cas.

The second model we see looks incredibly like (or at least should all be having us THINKING of) the Carver crypt from the first three episodes of s15. And that's... super creepy, right? What is this building? Why did Becky have a model of it at all? This happened DAYS ago in canon.

And the third is Singer Salvage yard, with the Impala parked out front. How long has it been since we've seen it? In an episode that opened on Sam's "nightmare" that involved him strung out on demon blood having just killed Bobby and Jody in Sioux Falls? Interesting that Chuck expressed fascination with that particular model in this episode, isn't it?

He asks if Becky is still obsessed with his work, and she corrects him. She's obsessed with HER work. She'd essentially dismissed Chuck as the creator of Supernatural, and relegated him to the role of Recorder Of Events, as a prophet. It wasn't actually HIS story. But what she's made of it, what she's made her life's work, IS HER OWN CREATION, based on the same reality she believed that Chuck had been nothing more than a conduit for. And OUCH for a guy like Chuck to not even get credit for any of it now, because of the lie he'd told to insert himself into his own creation. It's incredible to me. He wants nothing more than recognition as the creator, as the writer, and Becky's far more interested in her OWN stories about the same characters. She saw herself as more than Chuck’s equal as a writer, she saw herself as his superior. He just recorded, she CREATES. She dismissed everything Chuck was most interested in, and writes the characters all having achieved a measure of peace and happiness, the same as she has. And Chuck... hates it. :'D

Remember, this is the guy who invented monsters before he invented anything else. Leviathans were his first creation, even before the archangels. But they had a nasty habit of eating everything else he tried to create, so he grudgingly locked them in Purgatory, and moved on to the next thing. And he's had a lot of similar failures over the years... like the original hellhound that Lucifer stole away (and that Sam killed in 12.15). Seems like this has always been the story Chuck wanted to tell, because he's always only ever had his original drama with Amara as a source for his creation. He's... obsessed... with his version of events, no matter how many times he's confronted with reality, he weasels out of personal responsibility for everything. Like he does in this scene with Becky, letting her believe he's just a poor dude who wants to keep writing and lost his writing mojo because his prophet powers dried up.

This is probably the first Becky's heard Chuck had a sister, who Chuck only explains rejected him because she "sucks." And... Chuck... you're leaving out the horrific things you've done to her as an explanation of why she refused to help you. He's still hiding behind the “super cute” Chuck Facade. And nothing he says is an out and out lie, but it's entirely a manipulation, a complete reframing of the cosmic scale of what's happened into something he expects Becky to be able to offer him sympathy over. And she's just not having it. And again, good for her.

Chuck admitting that he's lost and hates himself at least engages Becky enough to try something to get him moving forward (again, still thinking he's just a guy who's lost everything). And tells him if writing makes him happy, then he should write.

Meanwhile Dean's incongruously eating a hot dog (WHERE IS HE GETTING ALL THIS FOOD?!) and interviewing a beaver. Sam questions why, and Dean's not only gotten information about the case (mascots have access to cheerleaders), but information about the kid inside the suit (he's a smart kid, got a full ride to IU). Dean's been unusually productive while chewing that hot dog, apparently. But he’s basically a caricature of himself during this case, like he’s trying to wear a suit he hasn’t worn in 15 years, and is finding it really ill-fitting. (it’s probably all the snacks he’s eating, honestly)

Veronica hands Billy a black wristband printed SUSIEFOREVER, which... is probably how Billy's feeling at the moment (hello, she was his girlfriend and he accidentally killed her... this is gonna haunt him forever). Veronica (who we've already been told by the latest girl to disappear is "so fake" in her grief over Susie's death) seems to be coming on to Billy, or at least making her interest in him known. And we DON'T know how all of this will resolve yet, but there's an awful lot going on in this scene. Did Veronica actually kill Susie? Is she the vampire and is that the reason for this OTT "so fake" grief on her part? Did Billy's "anything for my kid" mother who interrupts the scene actually kill her and Billy know something about it? Why is everyone acting so... weird?

Because we're back to the plasticity of this entire case again. What's actually killing cheerleaders? What's really going on here? If this entire case is Chuck's machination, because he wrote it down, and therefore subtly affected the situation, is that why everything seems just slightly off? Slightly malleable, as if Chuck is only working out the details of the case as he's writing it all down?

Billy leaves with his mom, and Veronica is left in a dimly lit gym filled with empty chairs and programs for the memorial service. She's practicing her speech to this huge empty room, speaking into a microphone. And as she talks, she edits her speech.

We've seen Chuck do this. in 4.18, he had Dean push the doorbell with determination, and then went back and edited it to read "with forceful determination." Just before the doorbell rang, and it was a forcefully determined Dean doing the ringing... So Veronica's self-edit here seems almost like a Chuck self-edit.

Remember how I mentioned way back toward the beginning of this mess how Sam asked the VP for a clarification on who Susie's "BEST" friends were, and Veronica was singled out among a group of her close friends? And now Veronica stands alone not only as the sole person in the room here talking to empty chairs, but as the one with apparent motive to kill Susie, who's been accused of expressing a lot of over-the-top melodramatic "so fake" grief. And... she edits her relationship with Susie on the fly:

Veronica: We are here to celebrate the life of my friend Susie. No. *clears throat* *takes a breath* We are here to celebrate the life of my best friend Susie. My best friend Susie who I miss like... *sigh* like she was a part of me. And in many ways she's still a part of me. She'll always be a part of all of us. Susie Martin was as rare as a ghost orchid and as unique as a snowflake. So beautiful inside and out. But as Robert Frost tells us, nothing gold can stay. And that's what Susie was. Pure gold.

And during this entire speech, to the empty room, the music in the background is ominous, looming, tense. The musical cue is telling us to doubt her performance here, with the high strings picking up the tension just as she comes to a close and Dean shows up with his slow clap. I mean, it was a pretty OTT speech, delivered with an intensity that literally does feel rehearsed. Stilted. Plastic. Everything in the case so far has pointed the arrow at her being the monster. The framing of the narrative would support it if it had been true, but the background of the entire case feels exactly as Becky has described it. What if THIS was the original ending to the case that Becky had voiced her complaints about, as if THIS is the story that Chuck would've written.

But that's such weaksauce. MotW episodes are nothing if not thematically consistent. Vampires are about revenge cases, and this case is a very specifically pointed bit of revenge, of Chuck against the Winchesters. They ruined the last story he tried to tell, and the fact this started out looking like something OTHER than a vampire case (possibly a ghoul, based on the parallel to 9.10, and a dismembered body), and then seemingly remolded itself INTO a vampire case halfway through... it feels like that first fang Dean found at the morgue was Chuck sinking his teeth into their lives.

And Veronica, no matter how the case had painted her to this point, was completely innocent. A bit plastic, because she's a victim of this reality bend as much as Sam and Dean are, because the real monster of this case is Chuck-- only Sam and Dean don't have any idea yet.

Dean calls her on her fake emotions, and they directly accuse her of killing her friend. And get the proof that she was innocent because she HAS BRACES, which she's apparently self-conscious about, but it proved she wasn't a vampire. *SIGH*

Plastic.

So Sam and Dean look for video evidence from surveillance cam footage, which the police had apparently already looked at and found nothing, but now they find a car driving past immediately after the second girl's abduction. Did the police not see it? Or is this another bit of plastic?

Meanwhile back at Billy's house, his parents refuse to even hear him say Susie's name, and suspicion immediately shifts to their entire family. Billy's father washes blood off his hands, and nobody seems to find this strange. Are they all monsters? Did one of them slip up? What the heckeroo is actually going on here? Whatever it is, it feels like they're all complicit, and Billy seems to be having reservations. Except they've also got the latest victim tied up and blindfolded in their storage room. So... they're definitely guilty of something. But we're only halfway through the episode at this point, so there's clearly more to the story.

Chuck tells Becky he can't see what Sam and Dean are doing anymore, as he conveniently scratches at his left shoulder where his wound connecting him to Sam is. Which is wild, right? Because what little we know about the Equalizer gun was that it fired INTENT. And that it affects the person shot and the shooter identically. So what was Sam's intent when he shot Chuck? Dean had just told Chuck to "Go to Hell," but Sam didn't say anything out loud when he shot Chuck. Was his intent "stop fucking with our lives" or more vaguely grief-filled "go to hell" or something more? Because whatever intention Sam shot at Chuck seems to have directly caused both Chuck's loss of power AND his inability to see directly into their lives now. And after having watched the Sam and Dean show for their entire lives, Chuck is PISSED about not being able to see what they're up to.

And I wonder, incidentally, if this will be the same factor that's causing problems for the Winchesters, too... that Sam may have inadvertently severed whatever protective force had made their lives as hunters as... implausibly unproblematic as they've always been, you know? I think we'll be seeing that develop more in the next episode, but we saw hints of it happening in this episode too (like with Dean's comment about the killer having a cheerleader fetish). But regardless, I think this is why Sam is suffering these grief-fueled nightmares, his inability to breathe, and his general current mental state. He’s suffering from the same intent he’d fired at Chuck. Only it hit Chuck with a case of writer’s block, while it hit Sam with something he’s been unable to truly define or explain. Yet.

Becky tells Chuck to write about the Winchesters if he loves their story so much, because that's what SHE does. Her stories don't have to be based in reality for her to enjoy them, but Chuck's only metaphorically a writer. He doesn't just want to make up tales, he wants to literally create reality. During Becky's entire pep talk, Chuck's holding a little figurine of Sam pointing a gun, and ain't that just on the nose? She plucks Sam out of Chuck’s hands and puts him back on the mantle (and I admit to at first thinking it was the Cas doll from 5.06, because Dean did the same thing with Cas, putting him up on the mantle like that), but Chuck still expresses doubt in his ability to actually write.

And here's where the most incongruous stuff in the entire episode begins happening-- the family dynamics of a killer family. It's still unclear who the monster is among them, but like Dean, we are leaning toward the father. The thing is, none of it's actually plausible. That's the beauty of this entire case. It's plastic.

How did this single kid out of this entire town get turned by a vampire, and his parents just... completely accepted what happened immediately without question? How did they KNOW what to do for their son in this circumstance? They went out and killed animals for their blood for him. Where did they learn to do this for him? And then how could they so casually just... kidnap a whole human being just to feed their son? Why not go back to feeding him animal blood like he'd done before? They didn't see anything wrong with any of this, either. DID THESE PEOPLE NOT HAVE QUESTIONS?!

And what of the vampire that made him? Did that vampire just... turn him and run? Did he give the kid a pamphlet explaining vampire life to him or something? It's just utterly baffling that this whole family just... incorporated this development into their lives as if it was all an entirely normal thing to accept about their kid. The dad KIDNAPPED A WHOLE ENTIRE HUMAN BEING for him on his own initiative, the mom was ready to shoot Sam and Dean for interfering in their plans. LIKE HOW IS ANY OF THIS NORMAL?!

And perhaps most bizarre of all, Sam and Dean didn't see anything wrong with it in reflection later that night. But I'll get to that when we get there. Heck this note-writing thing is really hard when I already know everything that's gonna happen. I have enough trouble staying on point without the benefit of foresight. :'D

So these parents are insistent that they're doing all of this, sacrificing all of this, just for him. And when he tells them he doesn't want them to, they just beg him to tell them what he wants from them. And he's just so frustrated because they aren't listening to him. Like they don't even care about him despite professing they're doing all of this so he can be happy. And he's just... profoundly not happy.

So the father, when Sam and Dean show up, still thinks they're going to ARREST him. Which is a weird thing for a suspected vampire to believe, and he's horrified when Dean pulls out a machete instead of handcuffs. This is a totally shocking development for him, and yet he STILL holds it together enough to bargain for his wife and son's lives. And the wife is profoundly confused by this, and our suspicions shift to her. But that's still... not quite right. She's prepared to literally shoot what she believes to be two FBI agents to save her son, again, as if all of this was entirely normal. As if this is what normal people are willing to do for their monster children.

I've already written a bunch about Becky's critique of Chuck's writing, and how poorly Chuck takes her notes. Chuck... is really out of touch with fanfic culture. Becky's reading this story as if it was fic, not reality. She kudos'ed and commented, and expected Chuck to just accept that and move on, because that's how fic culture works. But he demanded a beta read level critique, and Becky gave it. And he shouldn't have asked for it if he didn't actually want it.

And here comes the revenge that justifies the Vampire Plot. Chuck... is the vampire. he's the monster that doomed Billy for no reason. Who drove the parents to such extreme lengths to protect their child. Because that's how CHUCK saw what TFW had done to protect Jack. He saw it as just that outrageous and unfounded, even though it was in no way the same. We just witnessed Chuck's critique of TFW's actions in 14.20, and it was scathing, mocking, and vindictive.

Plastic.

But I also suspect that Becky wasn't reading ~this case~ exactly, because she complained that Sam and Dean were tied up (they were never once tied up in this episode), and she complained about the villain monologue being stale (Dean does most of the monologuing here, and it's Sam who figures out what's actually going on). Just one more bit of plastic.

But Chuck somehow managed (even if he couldn't see it) to put Jack's 14.20 realizations about himself into Billy's mouth. As if Chuck's story had already been written, and through some power of its own it was brought into reality via these previously innocent people. The story itself is more powerful than the author.

Like Jack, Billy has been trying to accept responsibility for his actions. He couldn't control himself, he didn't know it would happen, but he's dangerous and needs to be stopped. And Billy's speech isn't a "villain monologue," but a painful confession of everything he'd done. So what story was Becky reading?

Sam angrily judges the parents' actions, and Dean expresses his shock that the father would've just let him cut off his head to save his son. And is taken aback at the comment that he must not have kids, if he doesn't think he wouldn't have done the same for his own child.

And Dean's like... well, no I wouldn't have done the same for my own child. It's a super messed up situation that I'd really been trying not to think too hard about, thanks. It's been less than a week and here you go bringing up the worst day of our lives, so thanks for that... but they carry on. The mother says they just wanted him to have a normal life, and that's something Jack never would've had regardless because of what he was. But he had *a* life, with the Winchesters. If Jack had been a vampire, they wouldn't have gone out hunting and kidnapping teenage girls for him to eat, you know? But they were willing to raid heaven and shout down God for Jack. But context matters. And this hastily assembled vampire family ready to play revenge/victim for Chuck's story lacked all context. They were plastic.

It's Billy who ends up dictating how his parents are to handle everything, calm as can be. And his parents finally listen to him. And he sacrifices himself to the Winchesters. And they just... go along with it, take him out to the woods, and Dean kills the boy kneeling at his feet, accepting his fate as he's clearly crying, while Sam watches on. It's what Chuck had wanted in 14.20, and Dean had refused to give him. And now this entire situation has been Dean, manipulated into providing that demanded sacrifice, one way or another. And the most interesting bit of it? Chuck... couldn't even see it playing out. He missed the whole show that played out in Chuck Puppet Theater despite the fact. Like whatever he actually wrote was irrelevant, because his intent is somehow still connecting through to the Winchesters in pantomime.

And Sam and Dean's reactions to all of this are also just weirdly plastic.

I've already written about Chuck and Becky enough I think, but Chuck's moved on from "Writers lie," to "I can do anything, I'm a writer." With some of the worst villain monologue we've ever gotten, with "There, see, it's making you feel something! That's good, right?" While Becky is outraged and heartbroken over Chuck's ending. The only thing I need to say about whatever Chuck's planned ending is, is that if the series ends the way CHUCK wants it to, it'll go down as the biggest intentional betrayal of a fandom in the history of television. The show has stated to us in this episode that Chuck is the final boss big bad, and that he cannot be allowed to win. He can't have the final word in this story.

In *our* world, the current writers have officially called out a good number of sins of their past and exposed them via Chuck. They wrote the Leviathans being a personal favorite of Chuck's despite being pretty universally hated by fandom... well... they're looking for redemption for themselves in s15. THEY can't allow the story to end horribly. They've staked their current writing cred on it, as well as the entire history of 15 years of building TFW into the heroes. Sure, they've joked that not all fans will be happy with the ending, but in serious comments they've also promised a "real" ending and not some advanced level deus ex machina that wipes everything clean, either. That's a lot to deliver, and Chuck's suggested ending of the Winchesters horrifically dead doesn't deliver any of it.

So... back to the denouement of the episode. To the Impala! The least plastic thing in the entire episode. But it's pretty plastic.

Sam suggests that what Henry did for his son, was something they would've done for Jack, given the chance. And no, he's not talking about kidnapping teenage girls to feed him, he's talking about offering himself as a sacrifice in his son's place. Because Dean literally did do that. He was willing to sacrifice himself to kill Jack before he could kill again. It's what Chuck had presented as the ONLY way to stop Jack from destroying the world, with the examples of Jack having accidentally killed Mary, and then the whole of society crumbling because Jack told everyone to stop lying. But Sam? He wasn't willing to sacrifice both of them. And then he learned the truth from Chuck, about the manipulations that forced them all to this point, how Chuck probably did have the power to make everything right, restore Jack's soul, everything... but he didn't want to because it was more entertaining for him to watch them act out his plots instead. He WANTED that drama, that horrible sacrifice. He ENJOYED it.

But given the choice, I think Sam and Dean both would've traded places with Jack. We actually *saw* Cas literally exchange himself for Jack in 14.08. But Chuck wasn't satisfied with that trade. He wanted more from them, and they decided they were done playing on his stage.

There's a bit of incongruity in the speech Dean gives Sam about his current state, as well. He's usually so much better at reading Sam, yet he's comparing Sam's current mental state to his own back in the crypt, after Chuck. And just... no? This is not it at all? When he told Sam he's felt like cashing in, *we* think of 13.05, where he literally DID think of cashing in, you know? That feels far more similar to how Sam's feeling right now than to Dean's ANGER and "we need a plan!" bossiness from the crypt after Chuck. It's jarring as a comparison, because IT'S THE WRONG THING ENTIRELY.

But it's wrong, because it's the glaring omission of Cas that's already been lampshaded in the episode. That Dean's current blind spot here is shining a violently bright light on what SHOULD be said. Just like the end of 13.05 when we all yelled "HELLO, DEAN" at the television when Cas didn't say the line to him. We've been talking FOR YEARS about how this show uses narrative negative space like this, how it expects us to shout HEY WHAT ABOUT CAS?! at the screen, or to see that even this driving scene in the dark, in the car, is a perfect inverse mirror of that scene in 13.05, where Sam had spent that entire episode feeding his favorite junk food that he criticized Dean for in this episode, Dean and dragging him out on a case in the hopes of making him feel like himself again and... that's what Dean's telling Sam he wanted to work this case for now, to show Sam exactly what Sam had tried (and failed spectacularly) to show Dean in 13.05.

Dean even quotes some of Cas's last words to him before he left, that he should "move on."

But they needed to walk around the giant Cas-shaped hole in the narrative. And they needed to do it this incongruously. And that's exactly why it works.

And it's why Sam CAN'T move on. He doesn't feel free. I've already written a bit about this, and how it's directly tied to Sam's wound, and what it's probably doing to him. And what IS it doing to him? Chuck wobbles his head side to side, and the Sam and Dean bobbleheads on the desk beside him follow suit.

[sleepywinchester]

Behind The Story S2 | Pt. 24

Summary: It’s time for Y/N to make some tough decisions. Will she make the right one for herself and her family?

Author: sleepywinchester (prev. deanwinchester-af)

Characters: Jensen, Reader, Jared, Gen and Cast Cameos.

Pairings: Single!Jensen x Actress!Reader (Nina Dobrev = Faceclaim)

Words: 2,295

Beta: N/A

Warnings: none really :)

Disclaimer: NO HATE TOWARDS DANNEEL! We wuv her in this acc but this is just for science lol

Visual Credit: @musemisha​

Note: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND SURPRISE! I’ve had this chapter in my docs for God knows how long... I kept telling myself I would upload when I felt it was ready (and the last chapters were done) but I just wanted to share. I really hope you guys like this.  ♥

Title: Though Decisions 

MASTERLIST

The air inside your hotel suite was chilly and pleasant.  Halsey’s songs filled your hotel suite as you packed everything into reusable boxes. Shooting season for Arrow was finally over and it was time to go back home for good. It was bittersweet to pack what you have been calling home for the past couple of months but you were more excited about going back to spending more time with your family. Working on two successful TV shows began to wear you off after a couple of months into shooting. It was a complete surprise when the part as Cat woman for CW’s superheroes universe was a total hit, making you stay extra months on the show. At the beginning when you took this gig, they only spoke about shooting for a couple of weeks, max a month but your character got so popular that the couple weeks turned into a couple of months.

The deep talk you had with Stephen a couple of months ago had left you thinking about your future. Months have passed but it still roamed through your mind. Being cat woman was a dream come true, being able to perform such a powerful and fun character was a milestone for your career but sometimes you asked yourself, is it all worth it?

Suddenly you heard the voice of your favorite man and all the weight from the worries drifted away. Jensen’s deep and beautiful voice sounded through the speaker. 

“Babe?” Jensen’s real-life voice. 

You spun at the sound of Jensen’s voice coming from the door. You’ve been waiting for Jensen all night to get here for SPN Convention in Toronto. You’ve also been waiting for him to help you move all your stuff back home in Austin.

“Jensen?!” You screamed giving in to the urge to jump on his arms. 

Jensen caught your body, holding your legs that were crossed around his body. He laughed loudly, taking a moment to kiss you. “Hey.”

“I’ve missed you so damn much,” you replied, still on his arms.

He looked down for a second. “I see,” he smirked.

You both chuckled before he put you down on your own feet. 

Jensen just had finished shooting week for Supernatural and took a flight to meet you in Toronto. When you just finished shooting for Arrow and was ready to move back home.

“Is everything already packed?” Jensen looked around as he took his jacket off. There was a surprise in his eyes and that made you chuckle. 

You shrugged shamelessly, “Yeah.”

“I thought I was going to help you,” he looked at you with an eyebrow perked up. 

“I know,” you grabbed his jacket, “but I got bored and… you know how I am.” You placed the jacket into the closet, where the only clothing items are three outfits that will last you through the convention weekend and moving day.

“In that case, whatcha’ think if we go down to SNS? Everyone is there, even Jared and Gen.” Jensen’s look and proposal were highly tempting, given the fact that you haven’t seen the gang or had fun in a long time. 

“You know what… Let’s go. Let’s have fun.” 

Jensen instantly hugged you and kissed you when you accepted. “That’s my girl.” Grabbing quickly his suitcase, murmuring that he was going to take a quick shower before. 

You smirked following his lead into the bathroom because you also needed a quick shower after so much packing. Once Jensen saw you walk into the bathroom he understood what it meant.

 He was shirtless, standing in front of the wide shower door, beginning to get wet from the shower, “I guess we can skip the first few songs.”

“I guess so,” you purred, kissing his lips with passion.

/ / / 

“Get your ass down here, ASAP!” Jensen shouted, “Says Rob and Jared.”

You chuckled walking into the living room, your husband turned his head towards your direction. Jensen’s jaw-dropping instantly the second he took a full look of you. 

“Damn,” he whispered to himself. “Babe-,” he said as he stood up from the couch. “You look-”

As he tried to speak his emotions you grabbed the leather jacket resting on the chair and put it on, making sure your hair was messy yet stylish at the same time. You were wearing a deep v neck black blouse and tight dark skinny jeans. Jensen sighed harshly, 

“smoking hot. Are those real leather?” He touched your thigh-high leather boots, pressing on your thighs and giving you a sexy look as he did so.

You smirked kissing his lips and saying, “Yes.”

“Mmm,” he licked his lips, “do we have to leave?”

“Yes! If we don’t appear now, I assure you, they will come looking for us.” You told him walking towards the door. 

“But you look so good!” He shouted following your steps into the elevator.

Once inside you grab him by the collar of his leather jacket. He was holding you closely and kissing your lips and neck. It was like you two were too horny teenagers that couldn’t stop touching each other. 

“Get a room you two!” Jared’s voice suddenly joined.

You and Jensen instantly groaned while still extremely close to each other. “Should I just hit the closing doors buttons?” Jensen asked you, completely ignoring Jared’s presence.

Looking at Jared standing in the middle of the doors you shake your head, shifting your eyes back to your favorite stud. 

“Na’, we said we were going to have fun,” you told Jensen.

“I have a lot of ways we could be having fun… Upstairs. In our bed. Naked.” Jensen replied. 

Listening to Jared’s annoyed sigh was extremely amusing. “Seriously guys?” He said. 

“What?” You and Jensen fake snapped at the same time.

“Everyone is waiting for you two horny assholes,” Jared replied. “Including Rob’s impatient ass.” 

Going back to Jensen you sighed, cleaning the red lipstick off his lips. “We can continue what we started later.”

“Promise?” He holds your hand. 

“Mhm,” you kissed his lips. 

“Oh my God,” Jared rolled his eyes and began walking towards the green room. 

You and Jensen laughed once again, it was truly amusing to see him annoyed at the extreme PDA you and Jensen were having. It’s been a while since you could annoy Jared. It’s also been a while since you’ve seen him. Walking into the green room, you and Jensen were greeted by everyone. They were all excited to finally see you after such a long time. 

“You look so hot!” Brianna said with excitement. 

You gave her a big smile, “You too, babe!” 

You two turned heads towards Jensen who cleared his throat. 

“You too, Jensen. You always look hot as fuck,” Brianna told him and he instantly laughed. “Honestly, you two look like rock stars. It’s so hot, I can’t stand it.”

“Yeah - These two look like horny rock stars. They were making out hard in the elevator.” Jared joined the conversation with Gen by his side. 

You winked at your best friend who looked gorgeous as always. 

“Let them be,” Gen said, “They haven’t seen each other in two weeks.”

“Exactly!” Jensen shouted, holding you closely by your waist. He looked at you in the eye, “Let us be.” Kissing you in the lips after finishing the sentence. 

“Where’s my husband?!” Brianna jokily shouted. 

“Home with your kid,” Kim joined. “So - switching this fuckery talk. What are you guys singing?” 

You rose both eyebrows, “Who said anything about singing?” 

Jensen slipped off your side and walked away for a second, leaving you alone with a glaring Kim. She raised her eyebrows at your response and shakes her head. 

“You’re telling me you both came downstairs to SNS and you are not performing?” Kim seriously glared at you and Jensen. “I call bull.”

You sighed, “Okay. I’ll sing but I need booze.” 

“I got you, babe,” Jensen he joined your side again with a cup of most likely to be whiskey and coke. “What song?” 

“Hmmm,” you thought for a second. 

You and Jensen were both wearing all black outfits with leather. It was obvious that both had highly flirtatious feelings that night. Yet above all that flirtatious sensations you both looked very badass and definitely like rock stars. 

“Wanted Dead or Alive?” You asked him with a smirk. 

Jensen returned the smirk, returning the look, “Let’s do it.” 

“Jensen you’re up! Whipping Post?” Rob strolled in from the stage.

“I’ll go first and then you join?” Jensen looked at you and you nodded as an answer. He kissed your cheek before walking out to the stage, making the fans went wild and scream. They were seriously not expecting him. 

“You guys look like two honeymooners,” Gen said.

You grinned, “I feel like a honeymooners. A lot of changes are going up and even though I feel bad for some of the decisions I’ve made, I know the future is going to be brighter.” 

Genevieve nodded agreeing with your words. “You’re doing it for your family and for yourself. I haven’t seen you this genuinely happy in a while.” 

“I haven’t seen myself this happy in a while,” you grinned again, having a sip of your whiskey. “It’s like everything is taking place since I decided to leave.” You looked around for a second, “Then at the same time, it feels bad that I won’t be part of this anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” Jared joined. “You are a big part of everything Supernatural is. You are still part of the cast of the Supernatural family, of our family. Your place in this family is never going to change. You are Y/N Ackles and that is never going to change.”

Jared’s words made you think that you may have been overreacting the consequences of your choices. He was right, it didn’t matter what happened or what decisions you made, you were still part of this family. 

“Thank you, guys.” You told them.

At that moment you heard Jensen finishing up Whipping Post. 

“Thanks, y’all,” he spoke through the mic, “I’m going to stick around and do one more…” 

You chuckled at the crowd screaming with excitement in response.

“I’m gonna ask to have some help from a friend  of mine…” Jensen said. “Honestly she’s more than a friend if you guys know what I mean.” At that moment everyone screamed even louder, it was obvious they were making assumptions it was you. “She’s the myth, the legend, Y/N Ackles everyone.” 

Jensen saying your name was a queue for you to walk out of the curtains with the microphone on hand. The camera flashes increased as your big smile did. You gave Rob a hug and waved at the band, followed by a kiss on Jensen’s lips and then glanced at the crowd. 

“Hey, y’all,” you spoke. 

The energy in that room was warming and filled with so much excitement. They were good vibes and you missed that. They were happy to have you that night and you were excited to be there with them. It’s been a long time since you attended an SNS concert. 

“Ain’t he a rockstar?” You pointed at Jensen smirking. 

At that moment the band began to play the intro of Wanted Dead or Alive.

“Can you feel it?!” Jensen shouted as he moved by the rhythm of the band. You and Jensen were doing the same movements and laughed at the moment you two realized it. 

“It's all the same, only the names will change

Every day, it seems we're wastin' away

Another place where the faces are so cold

I drive all night just to get back home,” Jensen looked at your eyes and winked.

“I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride. I'm wanted-,”

“Waaaanteeed,” you sang the melody. 

“Dead or alive…” Both of you sang together, “Wanted dead or alive”.

You prepped to sing the next verses.

“Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days

The people I meet always go their separate ways

Sometimes you tell the day

By the bottle that you drink

And times, when you're all alone all you do is think

I'm a cowgirl, on a steel horse I ride,” you moved your hips.

“I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

Wanted (wanted) dead or alive

Oh, and I ride

Oh, and I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride,” you and Jensen sang the chorus together.

“I'm wanted dead or alive

I walk these streets

A loaded six-string on my back

I play for keeps 'cause I might not make it back

I been everywhere, still, I'm standing tall

I've seen a million faces

And I've rocked them all,” Jensen sang the verses.

As he sang the verse you dance and backed him up with the melodies. It was one of those moments where you felt like a complete rockstar and sang your heart out in that stage. 

For the last chorus, you and Jensen stood face and sang.

“I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side

I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

And I ride, dead or alive

I still drive (I still drive) dead or alive

Dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive”

The feeling of ending a song was always electrifying. You much needed that after months of not performing in SNS. The song was over but the crowd wasn’t over, they were clapping and screaming. You laughed and smiled at them. 

“I’ve missed y’all,” you said, “see you guys tomorrow? Gold Panel?” 

You received more shouts and took that as a yes.

“Goodnight,” you said leaving the stage with Jensen. 

________________________________________________________________

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[mummybear]

The Visions Part Two, The Vampire Diaries

Authors note: This will be the second and final part on the visions and it will be TVD this time, although again it will only be main events, leading up to the sacrifice, not all the way as that would probably take me at least three really long chapters at best. But I have covered the beginning changes up to the return of Katherine as I have changed it to be now. Reviews are welcomed and encouraged, I would love to improve where I can, this is my first fanfiction so any advice that may help I'm all ears and I'd love to know what you guys think, anyway any questions feel free to ask. I do not own TVD or SPN though I would love to borrow Damon Salvatore and Dean Winchester ;) this one is very long sorry :) anyway Enjoy!

The Visions Part Two, The Vampire Diaries

Fading to black and slowly the scene brightens and focuses in on... A young Damon and Stefan at their mothers funeral, where Damon is comforting a crying Stefan, holding him close to his own chest as he sobs, at the loss of their mother weighing heavier on their hearts than they were allowed to show.

Damon was trying to comfort his little brother, the best way he possibly could without drawing to much attention to them, partly for fear of what their father would say of men/boys crying in public, but also Damon hates to see the happy little boy he knows and loves in such as state, while Damon tries to hold in his own tears, as the only woman he loves and that ever loved him is now dead.

Flashing forward a few years later, Damon is slightly older now, he's arguing with his father, he's wearing old-time clothing, as a scared Stefan who is also in older style clothing trembles, hides behind his protective older brother, Damon is shielding him from their father.

Flashing to Damon and Stefan playing football and laughing outside the Salvatore residence.

A plaque on the side of their house reads Salvatore Estate 1864 it appears relatively new. Katerina arrives at the Salvatore Estate, where she is promptly greeted by Damon, Stefan and Giuseppe their father, She claims to be an orphan, whose family died in the Atlanta fires, she is accompanied by her maid Emily, they both wear big beautiful dresses with many skirts.

The visions flash suddenly, to Damon in bed with Katherine, she appears to be biting him roughly, to Katherine in bed with Stefan in bed with her instead, he too appears to be being bitten, but in a lot more pain than his older brother, there wasn't much time between the two mating's either, going by appearances. Vampire is whispered in Sheila's voice in an echo around the room.

Katherine teaching Damon how to hunt humans, she is covered in blood, her mouth and her clothes, her fangs retracting back into her gums, Damon tries to wipe away the blood from her mouth with a napkin, but Katherine shakes her head, explaining that if he wants to be what she is then, he will need to get used to the taste, he nods tentatively, they're watching each other closely, as she grabs at the hair at the nape of his neck and pulls him into a passionate kiss.

Flash forward to Damon returning from fighting in the civil war, he is in his grey uniform, looking very handsome, smirking at his younger brother who is very happy to see he has returned, they're beaming at each other, he came back out of concern for Stefan. Regardless of the wrath of his father, but he didn't agree with the confederacies principles either, so that made it easier.

Stefan escorts Katherine to the first founder's ball at the Lockwood's Estate, later Stefan confesses his love to the brown-eyed beauty, she shares the sentiment wholeheartedly, Damon looks on, as he sees his brother proclaiming his love, to the love of his life.

Katherine is playing croquet with Guiseppi as Damon and Stefan watch on worriedly, worried that he will discover the truth about their love. Stefan tells Damon of his plan to go to their father and explain, that not all vampires are evil.

Damon then simply begs him not to mention this to their father, as he won't understand and will grow suspicious. After his father brings up vampires in Mystic Falls, Stefan goes to him and tries to persuade him that not all vampires are bad, even after Damon's warning, he thinks that he can trust him and that his father will understand, maybe even change his mind, however his father says that they're not all the same, that the vampires do not have souls.

Stefan goes to see Katherine, where she bites him after they make love and suddenly she jumps back, "Vervain" she gasps, in a pained hushed voice.

Just then Giuseppe and the sheriff burst through his bedroom door, along with some deputy's, his father explains how he had put Vervain in Stefan's drink because he knew that he was hiding something and maybe even protecting someone, he was disappointed in Stefan that he was right to be suspicious.

Damon is desperate and angry after finding out what happened with Katherine, all because of his stupid naive brother, he goes to Emily Bennett the witch to ask for her help to save Katherine, she was after all Katherine's maid, he finds her and he begins to bargain, she agrees but if she saves Katherine, then he must protect the Bennett line, he agrees without a second thought.

Suddenly the vision shifts to somewhere, in a dark wooded area, an old style sheriffs car had stopped in the woodland area, Stefan appears behind the car as he sends the men around it in other directions, Damon slips out from behind the trees to join his brother.

They pull Katherine out of the back, just as she hits the floor, they begin to take the mask from her face, when there is a loud gunshot, Damon gasps and falls down, "NO DAMON!"Stefan shouts as he picks up a gun to defend his brother and himself, he aims it into the distance, where the shot had come from, just then another loud gunshot sounds, Stefan falls down to the floor facing his brother gasping for air.

The next day, Damon and Stefan awake in transition at the quarry, Emily gives them both daylight rings, but both of them decide they are to die, as they believe Katherine is dead, that life is not worth being a vampire and having an eternity without her alone.

Stefan visits his father to say goodbye and tell him that he was going to die, his father immediately backs away from his youngest son, Stefan tries to explain that he has made the decision to not complete the transition, into a vampire and his choice is to die.

But his father tries to stake him, causing Stefan to act in self-defence, but not realizing his own strength he flings his father, hard into a wall, going to help him Stefan notices he is bleeding and loses any control he had, proceeding to feed on his father completing the transition.

Stefan returns to Damon, who is weak now barely standing, but he has made his decision and has come to peace with it, with dying.

Stefan begins to explain how glorious it is to be a vampire to his brother. Trying to convince his Damon to turn, as he is unable to spend an eternity without his brother. After trying and failing to convince Damon to drink willingly from the girl he has supplied, Stefan rips into the girls soft neck, presenting it to Damon, who is weak and unable to resist, he licks and sucks the girls blood off of her skin, right before he sinks his fangs into the voluptuous skin on her neck, completing the transition.

Damon is upset with his brother, believing he is the reason they lost Katherine and that he forced him to turn. He vows that he will cause Stefan an eternity of misery as that is what he will now live as well.

Emily reveals to Damon that Katherine is, in fact, alive, but doesn't explain where except she will tell him in time. That the reason she didn't tell them was she didn't want it to affect their decision, Damon decides that he won't tell Stefan, holding a grudge against his younger brother, who he was once so close to.

Stefan with Lexi where she tells him she wants to help him control his ripper side, just then Damon decides he must leave, he cannot watch his brother become more of a monster, he tells Lexi to look after his brother before he leaves Stefan behind for the first time doing something for himself.

He himself is not happy to be a vampire, he becomes depressed and disgusted at his brother and the way he is behaving, as he tries to remember the young boy he once knew, he burns all the vervain in Mystic Falls before leaving it behind him.

Flash forward many years as the focus comes and reveals... Ric meeting his wife Isabelle at Duke University, a young Jeremy Gilbert falls from a tree breaking his arm.

Bonnie, Caroline and Elena at Sheila's house, talking and laughing, Sheila walks in Bonnie's room at her house, to tell the girls lunch is ready.

Alaric is given a gaudy ring by his wife Isabelle, she tells him to wear it always, as it will protect him from things that go bump in the night.

Damon visits Isabelle at her home because she asks him to turn her, he feeds her his blood before draining her, he hears a noise the husband he thinks he scoops up her lifeless body disappearing from the window of their bedroom.

Ric knows what he saw, however unbelievable he begins to take her research more seriously. She is declared a missing person, a few weeks after her, "disappearance" although Ric and her family believed her to be dead, Ric begins to hunt vampires, in hopes of finding her.

Liz's husband Bill reveals he is gay and he leaves her and his daughter, to go and be with his lover.

Damon meets Elena for the first time, in the middle of a road, after they talk he compels her to forget their meeting, as he isn't ready for anyone to know that he's in town yet.

Stefan is next to meet her, after he spots a car going off of Wickery bridge, he decides to save the people in the sinking car, he tries to save the father, but he refuses his help, saying that he won't be taken by Stefan until his daughter is saved, he points to the back seat, Stefan agrees he saves her, but unfortunately her parents die shortly after he pulls her from the car, Stefan is stunned when he sees her face.

While waiting for their aunt Jenna to arrive home, Jeremy and Elena stayed with the sheriff Liz Forbes, along with Caroline her daughter and one of Elena's best friends.

Stefan is still shocked by how much Elena looks like Katherine, he realizes that he has to stay in Mystic Falls, he has to know her.

Damon was also observing this girl curiously, she may look like Katherine but she was nothing like her at all, but he couldn't understand the resemblance it had him stumped.

Flash forward and Jeremy and Elena are now living with their aunt Jenna, in their home, Stefan officially meets Elena at school and again the graveyard, after she ran from Damon. Unknowingly as he was in crow form while watching her.

Damon kills two campers and feeds from Matt's sister, Vicky Donovan before he leaves her in plain sight, to make sure someone discovers her body, there is a party in the distance, Jeremy finds her almost straight away as he was looking for her, to begin with.

Damon and Stefan finally reunite after 15 years, a crow flies into Stefan's bedroom window at the boarding house, he knows what is about to happen, or who more accurately. As Stefan turns around, he sees just who he expected "Damon" Stefan says begrudgingly, "Hello brother" Damon replies to Stefan with a smirk, those blue eyes full of mischief that was yet to come.

They talk about trivial things for a little while, until Damon brings up drinking Elena's blood, Stefan's inner vampire erupts to the surface and he lunges at Damon. Sending them both out of the second story window of the boarding house, glass flying everywhere, the brothers falling straight to the ground.

Stefan is in pain as they land, while Damon gets up and leans on the hedges, waiting for Stefan while he is taunting him, Stefan begs Damon to just end their feud and if he can't just to leave. Damon says he has no interest in making up or leaving, in fact, he quite likes it here, that he promised Stefan an eternity of misery and that's just what he's going to get.

Damon officially meets Elena again, this time he lets her remember their meeting, when she comes to the boarding house, even if to just rub it in Stefan's face.

Stefan and Elena kiss.

Damon and Caroline meet again for the second time, but they finally talk and he fakes his interest in her, eventually, they have sex and then he feeds on her. Caroline wakes up in a panic she sees Damon next to her naked and images flash through her mind, as she remembers last night, she makes it to her bedroom door she turns back to look at her bed.

She realizes he isn't there, as she turns back to the door and she jumps back because he is right in front of her. She panics using anything to hand to try and hurt this monster, but he dodges them all, or they just don't seem to faze him, she throws her pillow at him he catches it, the expression on his face may as well say are you serious, before he pounces on her, his face changing to its vampire form.

Bonnie continues to keep having her intense visions of three numbers but she has no idea why.

Anna arrives in mystic falls, she has missed her home she realizes almost immediately. While she is here, she will consider telling the Salvatore's about Katherine, not being in the tomb and she knows where she is, but she wants the vampires in the tomb to stay contained.

Damon spends the morning feeding from a compelled Caroline, causing her to be late for school.

Stefan joins the football team, being careful not to use his powers.

Elena invites Bonnie and Stefan over to her house, hoping they can set aside their differences for her, at least try to get along with one another.

Which they had begun to do with Stefan showing an interest in her lineage, especially the part about the salaam witches, but before they could get any further Damon and a compelled Caroline turn up at the front door, Elena invites them in, against Stefan's advice and annoyance.

Damon was talking to Elena in the kitchen, where he convinced her to quit cheer-leading, which she does the next day. Stefan gives Elena a necklace, which he has filled with Vervain, to protect her from Damon and any other vampire who might hurt her.

Jeremy is fighting with Tyler after a football game, when Stefan comes over and splits them up, much to Jeremy's anguish and he Gashes Stefan's hand on the glass Jeremy was wielding, as Jeremy swung at Tyler, Elena panics as she sees blood but Stefan convinces her its not his, as he rapidly heals unbeknownst to her.

Damon tries to compel Elena to kiss him, he doesn't know it didn't work until it's too late, he leans in and she slaps him, the necklace Stefan gave her had protected her from his brother's compulsion.

After Stefan confronts Damon and says he still believes he has humanity, at least inside him somewhere, no matter how deep down he will find it someday, Damon quickly jumps at the chance and proves his brother otherwise, when he rips coach Tanners throat out in front of him, just to prove he is void of humanity, then he just walks away with a swagger in his strides.

Bonnie's numbers repeating in her visions the last week begin to make sense, as she looks around the parking lot, where the police cars and ambulances are, she sees the numbers in a line and understands they were related to Tanner's death.

Damon visits Elena late at night, as she sleeps, he watches over her a while, before he caresses her face proving to only himself that he cares.

Damon covers his attacks and murders, with a story of a mountain lion.

Stefan takes Elena to the founder's ball, while Damon takes Caroline.

Sheriff Forbes sees her daughter arrive, with an older man no less, she confronts her and is shocked at the way her daughter talks to her, Damon leaves her to it saying he's going to grab a drink.

Damon disappears upstairs and finds what he is looking for, the crystal which Emily sealed the tomb with to keep Katherine safe way back when.

Elena sees Caroline's bite marks, which were inflicted by Damon, she doesn't need Caroline to tell her this she just knows, while they are in the bathroom together Caroline panics at her questioning and leaves the bathroom in a hurry, where she runs into an angry looking Damon.

Jeremy is at home when there is a knock at the door, it's Vicky, she kisses him and he leads her upstairs to his room to fool around.

Stefan is told about the bite marks on Caroline by Elena, luckily earlier that night he slipped Caroline Vervain, he tells Elena he is dealing with it before he leaves looking for Damon and Caroline. Stefan finds them both near a tree in the Lockwood garden, he scoops Damon up the vervain clearly in his system, he quickly leaves with his brother and leaves Caroline there, knowing Elena was probably following him.

when they get back to the Salvatore boarding house, Stefan quickly and haphazardly throws Damon into the cellar. Then he says he is leaving him to desiccate, so he can't hurt anyone else, then when he has fully desiccated he will throw Damon in the family crypt until Stefan decides that he can try to redeem himself.

Caroline comes to, with no sign of Damon, she picks up the forgotten crystal, Elena runs up to her and she cries on her best friends shoulder.

Jeremy awakes to a laughing Vicky, who claimed she had an awkward encounter with his sister this morning, in their joint bathroom he shares with his sister.

Stefan and Elena argue she is convinced he is hiding things from her and she wants to know what it is.

Damon manages to connect to Caroline physically, even in his very weak state due to the Vervain and lack of blood consumption. He calls for her and she eventually comes and lets him out, as Zack runs in throwing himself in front of the teen, holding the door shut the best he can tell her to run. When he breaks out of the cell, Damon breaks his neck straight away, knowing he is full of Vervain.

Damon goes to chase Caroline, but as he reaches the front door and runs as fast as she can, the sun burns him, as he puts a foot outside the door, he quickly looks down at his hand and shocked, when he notices that his ring is gone, Stefan, he growls angrily.

Bonnie sets a car on fire by accident, at the school car wash after she gets angry, with one of the girls there is just being plain horrible. Stefan is the one who breaks her from her trance. She thanks Stefan and asks him not to tell anyone, just before she leaves taking off towards her grams house, where Sheila explains about their family and the witches in the past up to now.

Damon feeds on Vicky again and after she still didn't die, he took her back to the boarding house to entertain himself, after he gets bored waiting for her to awake he gives her his blood to heal her. She wakes up they dance and drink, as the day wore on they slow danced, where she sobbed on his shoulder about the problems he proceeded to tell her how pathetic she was, then he snapped her neck killing her.

After Stefan discovers what Damon has done to Vicki, Stefan plans to kill his brother so he can cause no more harm, but as he is leaving the stake in hand, he almost walks into Elena when he opens the door. She said that she knew he wasn't human, but she wouldn't say what she believed him to be after she asked again what are you.

I think you no he said again, letting out a sigh he said, a vampire, she fled in her car not giving him a second to explain, forgetting about Damon, Stefan raced after her, he jumped in her bedroom window as she arrived home, begging her to understand and not tell anyone, that he would never hurt her, she broke up with him on the spot and asked him to leave, he reluctantly listened and left her house.

Liz was in a founders meeting with a small portion of the council, where Logan Fell explained he had acquired the Gilbert watch from their house.

Flash forward to Caroline and Matt start dating while Elena tells Stefan they should continue to just be friends.

Alaric Saltzman arrives in Mystic Falls, where he begins to befriend Jeremy and his aunt Jenna, after meeting him at school and meeting her in the Grill. Jeremy pleased that finally a teacher was taking an interest in helping him, rather than hindering him.

Stefan brother bonded with Damon, to try and discover his plans, Damon revealed that Katherine was still alive but she was desiccated in the tomb, that he planned to release her so they could be together again at last.

Bonnie told Caroline and Elena, what was happening with Emily and about the dreams, she was having. They had a seance which ended up with Emily taking over Bonnie's body, before rushing from the Gilbert residence.

Damon was the first to find Bonnie/Emily, they talked for a few moments before Stefan arrived, Emily Started to explain how all those years ago, she had to trap the other 25 vampires in the tomb as well, she had to save them in order to save Katherine, with one comes all she said.

So by releasing Katherine, you release the others, Stefan gaped at his brother shocked at this information "You cant do that Damon" he said.

"Another thing you may not know" Emily said, "Anna you remember her, right" they nodded "well she had to watch her mother staked in front of everyone by Johnathon Gilbert, while I hid with her in the bushes, because it was too late for her mother, he was angered by her betrayal and that she managed to convince him, she was human and he fell in love with her.

Now she was the closest thing that Katherine had to a best friend and she just watched and left her behind, only for her to be caught later. She doesn't deserve to be released for so many reasons, Damon merely shrugged, "I just want Katherine, I'll burn the rest" Emily shook her head, "I can't allow that Damon" and she threw the talisman in the air, "Incendio", and it shattered in a ball of light.

"NO" Damon shouted, as the fire went down Bonnie uttered "Damon," before he lunged at her ripping into her neck, Elena ran from nowhere and knelt by her best friend, "Bonnie no," she said sadly. "Stefan help please" Elena shouted to the vampire, he knelt beside her and ripped into his wrist, feeding Bonnie his blood.

Flash forward again to Ric, he kills a vampire, Logan Fell after he realizes he is stalking Jenna, Damon didn't manage to find out who Logan was working with before he was staked.

Stefan and Elena were hanging out more now, starting to get used to being friends, they were at the boarding house in his room, discussing people he had known and met in his lifetime.

Elena asked for a glass of water, of course, he said he could do with some blood anyway. Stefan returned to his room to find no sign of Elena, she had gone just left and then he noticed the picture he still had of Katherine, it was upside down on the floor, he knew what had happened she had seen it, panicked then ran.

Damon saw a car crash, as he approached he knew it was Elena's car, he saw a man or vampire getting to his feet, heading towards the upturned car, before Damon could react the vampire saw him and sped away, causing Damon to go up to Elena's car and he managed to get her out. "I look like her," she said before fainting.

Elena and Damon go to Georgia where he asks Brie if the tomb can be opened another way, she keeps to the same answer "I told you years ago sugar, that is the only way".

An irritated Damon and Elena stay a while at the bar, for something to eat they begin to get drunk, Damon is lured out by Lexi's would have been boyfriend kidnapping Elena, Elena manages to convince him not to kill Damon and he leaves.

Before they leave, Damon kills Brie for betraying him and almost getting Elena and he killed, but not before she confesses that the answers lie in Emily's grimoire, hoping he will spare her life, but of course, he doesn't, he's Damon freaking Salvatore.

Anna and Jeremy meet where she poses as a home-schooled student, she's glad to be home and is debating whether or not to tell the Salvatore's about Katherine, she has heard whispers of other vampires trying to break into the tomb, including Damon and some guy who was also turned by Katherine in 1864, he is trying to release his father and sister she has heard his name is Noah, but she needs and wants to find out more before disclosing this information.

Bonnie is struggling with her magic after being attacked by Damon, she scared, her grams Sheila tells her that she must face her fears in order to overcome them.

Damon and Elena return.

Flash forward to Damon surprising himself as he apologizes to Bonnie for almost killing her, he doesn't know why but he feels like he should and dare he say it slightly worse, there is just something about the little witch, he explains he saw red and he saw her as Emily, not as herself. She accepts this and is surprised by his apology, but accepts it, all the same, Bonnie is still pissed at him and doesn't want to talk to him for a while.

Stefan gives Elena the compass to help her identify vampires after it became clear that Noah was stalking her for her resemblance to his sire.

Elena told Stefan about the research for her mother, he told her to be careful and never meet anyone alone.

Ric asks Jeremy where he sourced his information for his paper, as he was very interested, Jeremy explained about the journal Ric asks to borrow it, explaining it's like porn to a history teacher, a first-person account of the civil war, they both laugh and Jeremy hands it over to him with a shrug, he needed to learn more about vampires, Ric found himself saying under his breath.

Noah tried to get to Elena at home, but he failed stopped by Stefan who he overpowered and left, shortly after he vamps out Damon arrives at the Gilbert household. Damon suggested going to the dance to lure him out and kill him, as he has been invited in, he can now enter whenever he wants.

Jeremy and Anna met again, at the dance where she wrote her number on his hand before leaving, she really liked him, if he needed time she got that she would give it to him, Jeremy smiled at Anna's retreating figure strange but hot he thought.

Stefan faked a truce with Damon and Damon asked Elena whether or not Stefan could be trusted, he trusted her and she wouldn't lie to him right.

Caroline kisses Matt for the first time in a while, but she could tell he was holding back, she knew deep down he still loved Elena.

Noah didn't turn up at the dance, he sent one of his lackeys in his place.

After his meeting with the younger Salvatore, just before they staked the random vampire, he said the reason Noah wanted in the tomb was to save his father and sister, Anna was watching from the hallway and quickly left before she was seen, Noah had one more vampire working for him, but wouldn't give a name.

Another flash forward, Elena screams Stefan, bolts up the stairs of the Gilbert house, followed by Anna. Stefan you, me and Damon need to talk now, I know who has Elena. reluctantly he follows her and they leave and flash to the boarding house, after calling Damon he is very disinterested but he shows up none the less, when they all arrive, Anna explains how Noah and his father and sister were turned by Katherine as well, they are in the tomb, she says mainly looking at Damon.

Damon, Katherine was never in the tomb, she escaped somehow, she was never inside and you deserve to know. Both Salvatore's looked at the young looking girl shocked, wait I can prove it, she says I saw her in New York, in the 50's and I have seen a dozen places since.

Before she can finish Damon huffs, "She wouldn't do that, I'm going to open that tomb even if it kills me, I'll prove it to all of you".

Anna sighs ready to leave as Stefan stops her, you know where Elena is right, Anna nodded.

"Right she said I'll take you but, Noah and Ben have Elena and Bonnie" An explained looking between the brothers, "Wait why do they have the witch" Damon pipped up at the mention of the witches name, "Well like I said, they need to get in the tomb, they need a Bennett witch and Bonnie is easier than her grandmother" Anna explained as if it were obvious, though it probably should have been.

"I guess I better come with you two then, so you don't cock it up, I need Bon-Bon", he says before adding, "Don't look at me like that, you no so I can get in the tomb" noticing the looks on their faces, although neither of them said anything.

Luckily no one noticed the way Damon lingered before adding that last part, the three vampires left, they arrive outside of a motel. When Anna points to a door "That one" she says. Damon and Stefan spring into action and burst through the door.

"Where are they, you weasel" Damon growls at the vampire in front of him, as Stefan throws open the curtains and Anna stands behind the Salvatore's.

"I assume your boss is out, so we're going to send him a little message, via you of course", Damon said looking at Anna and smirking, she got the hint and smirked back, waiting for him to say it, "Well you die, just because I don't like you and well, I like to kill the messenger, you know why?" he whispers his tone sinister, in the other guys ear sending shivers up the other mans spine. "It sends a message", Anna smirked at Damon unable to wait.

"Mr Salvatore may I partake," she said trying to hold in a laugh, "Why young miss, I would be insulted if you didn't," he said with a southern drawl, they laughed then in a very sinister way at each other before, they lunged at the terrified vampire.

Damon uttered "Stefan why don't you take the girls home, Anna and I have some business to take care of" Stefan merely nodded at his brother.

Stefan hauls an unconscious Bonnie up and troubled Elena as he uses his vampire speed to take them back to the boarding house. As he leaves the room he can't help but hear flesh tearing and screams, of the man he assumes, will be a bloody mess at the hands of the two older vampires, who are both growling angrily.

Bonnie and Sheila realized they would get no piece from the elder Salvatore, until they opened the tomb, so they reluctantly agreed to do so, but Sheila demanded that once Katherine was free that they burn the rest, Damon agreed to the terms straight away, he couldn't give a shit about any of the other vampires anyway.

Flash on a little and Jeremy discovers Anna's secret after she transforms by accident in front of him, but he was shocked but excited to discover this, and everything that was Anna, she was an amazing person anyway. Anna was excited to finally have someone who she cared about her, around who knew all about her, they decided to go back to the Gilbert residence and talk it out.

when Stefan arrived at the tomb, Noah is standing there "Stefan Salvatore" he says, "Noah I assume, you can either leave or die, that's up to you, but your not going in there" Stefan said challenging him,"No chance", Noah uttered before launching at Stefan, who was ready "Want to see my big toy" Stefan remarked and pointed the flamethrower at him. Noah gasped as Stefan set him ablaze.

All of a sudden, there was a rustling coming from the bushes Stop! Stefan yelled down to the tomb, causing everyone to stop in there tracks and come up from the tomb, Damon flew up and he was followed by Sheila and Bonnie and lastly Elena.

Stefan was standing opposite a smug looking Katherine, "lover" she said looking at Stefan. "Katherine", Damon said in an almost whisper, he felt all of his energy drained at an instant, realizing that Anna had told him the truth. She held out her hand to Damon to stop his movements.

"Damon I'm not here for you", she said turning her gaze back to Stefan, "I love you, Stefan, it's always been you" before Stefan could talk, Damon had thrown himself at Katherine, "You bitch", he said his vampire features showing.

"After everything I've done for you, risked for you, are you serious right now" he spat angrily, "You evil conniving bitch" he growled in her face their noses almost touching.

She spun around, getting a firm grip around his neck slamming him into a tree, "Don't you dare mess with me, little boy, let's not forget I made you, I can destroy you just as easy" she dropped him and he slumped to the ground looking broken.

She grabbed Stefan and sped them over to the boarding house, he ultimately told her to leave, more from loyalty to his brother. He still loved this evil woman somehow, but he just couldn't do this to his big brother.

Damon offered to take Elena home as he dropped her off, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and he turned, "I'm here if you if you ever need to talk" she said kindly, he nodded before leaving.

He couldn't look at her anymore she just reminded him of what he had lost tonight, indeed forever. He returned home to find Stefan alone, "Not now Stefan," he said and he just went to his room, to let the dark swallow him whole hopefully.

Bonnie and Sheila were talking at home about the events of the day, Bonnie couldn't help but feel bad for Damon, she just can't explain what she is feeling anymore why was she feeling anything for him.

End of Vision

Sorry guys I know that wasn't most of the story, but I didn't want to overdo it, but if you do have any questions, about how they have all come to where they are now, or anything else then please don't hesitate to ask

Thank you for reading!

[your-modern-shakespeare]

Never Forget You (23)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22

Summary:  It’s been over a year since Dean has gone to Hell. You used to date Dean, so what would it be like if you ran into him one day?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3131

A/N: So finally some SPN! Sorry...everyone was just sending in Bucky requests and writer’s block sucks, so I just wrote whatever came to mind. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this and I will most likely see you guys on Wednesday. (P.S. Mystery character is back, I wonder if any of you could guess who he is...)

Warnings: talk of pregnancy, angst, little bit of fluff, implied sexy time

Tags: @drunkwordsss, @fangirl1802, @beltz2016, @lust-for-pan, @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes

Y/N’S POV

I didn’t know exactly where I was going when I chose to leave Bobby’s house.I just remember feeling like I didn’t want to see Dean being disappointed in me or angry because when I thought about it, staying in that universe wouldn’t have been that bad. As soon as I got where I wanted to though, I knew exactly where I was and it wasn’t somewhere I could ever tell Dean about. Not because I was planning on doing anything to hurt him, but because he couldn’t know that this guy existed.

I walked into the house, knowing that my friend would know that it was me. I heard him in the kitchen and I walked over to the table, sitting in one of the many empty chairs.

“Want a sandwich?” He asked.

“Sure.”

“I would ask what brings you here, but I’ve never needed a reason before. I’m glad to see you though.”

“I just needed some balance.”

“Well at least I’m good for something.” He walked over to the table, handing me the sandwich that he had been making and turned to make a sandwich for himself.

“So you know?”

“It feels the same as the last time it happened, other than the fact that it was from another universe. You’re still sad though.”

“What happened…it just reminded me so much of what happened before. I mean, I knew that I couldn’t have stayed there, in that universe, but while I was there I was stupid enough to let myself love every second of it…being pregnant.”

“Well God hasn’t done much for either of us, let alone let us be happy.” He sat down next to me with his sandwich.

“You know when I said yes to him, I thought that I would be doing something good. And now I’m stuck with these powers that put a target on my back and he is nowhere to be seen. Didn’t even tell me what was supposed to happen next, just took our baby and told me to do his work.”

“Sounds like something he would do.”

“I just don’t know what I’m doing this for anymore. I don’t see an end ever coming for me, or at least a happy one.”

“I don’t think you’re worried about your end, don’t forget, you can’t die.”

“Yeah.”

“I know you’re worried about Dean.”

“I just don’t want to disappoint him anymore.”

“You think he’s disappointed? I usually don’t pull the we-used-to-sleep-together card but as far as I remember you were never disappointing.”

“We may have been sleeping together but you know just as much as I do that what we had wasn’t anything more than physical attraction and lust.”

“Yes, but never disappointing. I bet you that he’s more upset at God than anything. And of course you’re welcome to stay the night but if you love Dean you’ll go back to him in the morning and tell him why you’re so upset. It’s how you got through it the first time.”

“I don’t really want to go through it a second time.”

“I can’t imagine you would.” He put his hand over mine and stood up from his chair, placing his plate in the sink. “The guest room is yours, I would expect you for breakfast, but something tells me you won’t be here long.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m always here.”

So I headed up to the guest room and settled into the bed there, thinking about how I was going to bring up things with Dean. Before I fell asleep I grabbed my phone out of the pocket of my jacket, to see that I already had a few missed calls and texts from Dean.

I read the last one he had sent.

DEAN: I know that you’re upset, please just let me know you’re okay.

Y/N: I’m fine, I’ll see you in the morning.

I shut off my phone and placed it next to me on the bedside table. I curled up in the sheets and tried my hardest to fall asleep without thinking about everything that had happened in the past 24 hours.

That night, sleep was not easy, and when I thought of the reason why, I thought that maybe it had been a mistake coming here. As much as I loved seeing…my friend, it just trudged up a lot of mixed feelings and confusing emotions; not because I felt anything for him but because we had been together before. And even if I could tell Dean about him, which I couldn’t, I don’t think he would be okay with me just hanging out here…definitely if he knew the whole story.

So I tried my hardest to sleep and luckily enough I did, no matter how little it was. I woke up to the sound of my ringer going off and quickly moved to pick up the phone.

Y/N: Hello? I said groggily.

DEAN: Y/N, where are you? You’re not at the house.

Y/N: I went to Jordan’s.  I lied.

DEAN: Jordan’s?

I stooped down to pick up my shoes and looked around me to make sure I didn’t leave anything before but I moved myself back to my house, where Dean was.

“I’m so sorry, I just—” I started to say but Dean saw I was there and quickly pulled me into his arms, not leaving any room for words to be said. He just held me there, not letting his grip up for even a second.

“Please don’t do that again.” He whispered. I wrapped my arms around him, as best as I could, and relished in the feeling of him holding me, of the man I loved not trying to fix things or tell me that everything was going to be alright. It was simply just him comforting me, knowing that I needed him to let me know that I wasn’t alone. I took in a deep breath, finally being able to breath after a restless night. “I need you here.”

I don’t know how long he held me there but soon enough we found ourselves up in our room, holding each other much like before but more intimately and where we could talk more privately.

“What were you thinking running off like that? I was so scared that you had just disappeared.” He said.

“I’m so sorry I just…I felt like I was drowning…you know? We got back and after we dealt with Raphael it hit me that we were back home and when I moved to touch the baby…I didn’t feel her there.” I didn’t take much to make me start crying. “I just felt a hole of where she just to be. And yet I felt so heavy and like I couldn’t breath and I just remember him helping me, after he pulled me out of the river. I just thought that maybe he could make the drowning feeling stop, like he did before. I know that I shouldn’t have run away but I was just so panicked and I couldn’t bear to see the look on your face…that I lost another one.”

“Hey, look at me.” He moved my chin up so that I was looking at him. He used his fingers to wipe away the tears that stained my cheeks. “Losing our baby, that baby girl…was never your fault.” I could hear his voice start to crack a little. “But you can’t run away like that. You know when I saw you…pregnant, I thought about our baby and I was so mad at Jeff because he got to enjoy that with you, even if it was just for a little bit.” I saw a tear roll down his cheek. “I know that it hurts, believe me I know, but I want to help you, I don’t want you to go through this alone. Let me be here for you.”

I took in a deep breath and I let him hold me, trying my hardest to not let the thoughts over run everything. Because despite everything that was running through my head, Dean was the only thing that really mattered, he was the one who was holding me and getting me through everything. It was just one of the many things that I loved about him.

Over the next few weeks the three of us spent a lot of time at Bobby’s, helping him fix up his house…after we practically destroyed it. We also had the issue of Sam…who was VERY curious about the fact that Dean and I were engaged. So we spent a lot of time coming up with the best ways to make sure that the wall in Sam’s head didn’t collapse.

We also spent a lot of “alone” time together at our house…if you know what I mean. It was like there had been a shift when I had gotten back and Dean just could keep his hands off of me. Believe me, I had no objections and the best part was that the feeling I had when I first started seeing Dean was back.

I mean, it was so…hot. He would walk around Bobby’s house in a tight t-shirt with no layers, he would pull me off to the side, where no one could see us, and kiss me senseless, and he would just stare at me like he would have taken me on the spot if Sam and Bobby hadn’t been in the room. I don’t know what had gotten into him, but I full heartedly approved.

This afternoon we were finally doing finishing touches on the house and the boys had been working all morning so I decided to go to the store buy some beer and pick up some burgers for everyone. And of course, I couldn’t forget the pie.

The venture out was quick and easy and I was back home surprising the boys in no time. I walked through the living room into the kitchen, my arms full of bags and the boys trailing after me like I was holding a cure for some rare disease.

Sam and Bobby took their food and drinks out first, moving to the kitchen table. Dean stayed right by my side as I fished out our food, grabbing two beers and opening them for us.

“Thanks sweetheart.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before he grabbed his food and went to sit at the table. As soon as I sat down next to him the questions started flowing.

“You know I’ve been holding all of this in for some time but you guys are acting so strange now and I want to know why you didn’t tell me about the engagement or the baby.”

“You have enough on your plate Sam.” I started.

“Both of us decided that it would be better not to, especially after you brought us back in. It’s different if you remember something, but we don’t want to stress the wall.”

“You know, I’m not as fragile as you think I am. I don’t remember that case and I wish that I hadn’t brought you guys back but it doesn’t change the fact that I want you guys to be happy, to have a family.”

“Well you know now and the reason we didn’t tell you, doesn’t matter. It was never going to happen anyway. We’re engaged and childless and that is the reality of it all.” I said too angry, Dean put his hand over mine, calming me down.

“Sam we weren’t trying to keep things from you, the truth is this is really hard for us. Going through it once was hard enough let alone a second time. And I have been trying really hard to get both of us through this again. That’s why I didn’t say anything to you.” Dean said calmer, strangely being the voice of reason here. “I would love to have a life outside of this, but Chuck won’t let us, so we have given up on trying to fight the plan. So now we are just trying to deal with what we can and we’re trying to protect you because honestly the last thing we need is to lose you again. So you need to stop fighting us.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.”

“We understand that you’re confused but there’s a lot happening and we need all hands on deck. Right now wasn’t the time to run off together and once we figure out what’s happening and what Chuck wants from me the sooner we can think about stopping. But right now you need to focus on that wall staying up and we need to figure out what to do about this “mother” thing.” I commented.

“Right.”

“I may have something on that.I’ve been getting blasts from hunters all week.” Bobby left the table, grabbing a map and quickly returning to the table. “Nest of vamps. Werewolf dance party. Shifters, six of them. Two hunters died taking them out. Ghouls, ghouls. Ghoul-wraith smorgasbord.” He said pointing at different spots along I-80.

“Is it just me, or is that a straight kick-line down I-80?” Dean asked.

“Exactly.”

“Looks to me like it’s a Sherman march monster mash.”

“Yeah, but where are they marching to?” Sam asked and Bobby circled another spot on the map.

“What is it?”

“Guy bashes in his family’s heads.”

“Lovely and we know that all of these are hers?” I asked.

“As far as I can guess, yes.”

“We’re you able to find anything on her?” Dean asked.

“No, she’s still a mystery, I was kinda of hoping to get close enough to her that Y/N could sense what she was.”

“It’s not a bad idea.” Sam commented.

“Let me call around to some of the hunters I know, see if they have noticed anything weird.” I suggested and the boys started digging into the books before we would head to Ohio.

I dialed the only person I knew who would possibly know anything about this mother.

“Well hey there. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon. You usually go a couple of months without talking to me, sometimes longer.”

“I just—I wanted to thank you for letting me stay with you after the whole baby thing. You were right…about Dean.”

“Well I’m glad I could help but what do you need?”

“How did you know?”

“I think I know you pretty well by now.”

“What do you know about a ‘mother of all?’”

“That she was absolutely terrible on earth and banished to purgatory. She’s so powerful that angels stood defenseless against her and she created all the alpha species. Why?”

“Am I defenseless against her?”

“Yes. She older than angels…so yeah. God sent her to purgatory along with the leviathan for a reason and even he struggled. He was able to, but she’s ruthless. But the fact that we are having this conversation at all is indicating something that you’re not telling me.”

“Dragons may have released her.”

“Y/N do me a favor.”

“What?”

“Don’t fight her.”

“What?”

“There’s no way to kill her, not now.”

“What do you mean?”

“The weapon that you need to kill her doesn’t exist anymore. You need to—”

“If this is about the—”

“It’s not. Different weapon, but I’m telling you the last sighting of this thing was in the 1860’s and unless you have enough power to time travel I suggest you run if you come across her.”

“Okay, let’s say that I will but for curiosity’s sake how would I find her?”

“You said dragons brought her back?”

“Yeah.”

“Well that means that her vessel is a virgin. You’re looking for a young girl.”

“Right, one of the girls that the dragons took.”

“Yeah, but I’m serious Y/N do not fight her.”

“What’s the weapon?”

“Phoenix Ash.”

“Phoenix? Great and this may be a long shot but you don’t happen to have a specific date?”

“No.” I sensed the energy in the room shift as I felt Dean walk in.

“Well I got more than I thought.”

“Maybe just enough to save your life.”

“I’m going to be fine, like you said, I can’t die.”

“Yeah but everyone else can. I’ll talk to you later Y/N.”

“Yeah, thanks. Bye.”

He hung up and I turned around to see Dean staring at me.

“Anything?”

“A few things.” We started to walk back over to Sam and Bobby but I stopped him.

“Are you okay?” I asked. 

“Yeah why?”

“Well I felt you walk in and you seem…down?”

“I’m just…I’m upset that we couldn’t have taken more time, it was nice to relax again.”

“It was.” I reached up and kissed his lips softly, then I grabbed his hand and led him back to where Sam and Bobby were.

“So I mostly have bad news.”

“When is it ever good?” Bobby asked.

“Well, she was created before the angels and banished to purgatory by Chuck. She created the alphas, therefore the nickname mother, and angels are defenseless against her…as am I.”

“What?” Dean was the first to say.

“Yeah, she’s really old and very powerful. Oh and is most likely in the body of a teenager, you know the whole virgin thing. But going back to our plan, I won’t be able to sense her, because of how powerful she is.”

“Great, well there goes our only plan.”

“And there’s something else.”

“More bad news?” Sam asked.

“Kind of? I know a way to kill her.”

“Great!” Dean said.

“But it requires time travel.”

“Not great.”

“And I don’t have a specific date.”

“Double not great.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s the weapon?” Bobby asked. 

“Phoenix ash.”

“Sounds like something straight out of Harry Potter.” Dean said. 

“It actually was in Harry Potter.” Sam mumbled under his breath.

“We’ll figure this out.” I said.

“Who gave you all of this information?” Bobby asked.

“An old hunter friend of mine, he’s retired. He helped me out right after I got my powers, they were pretty hard to control and he lives out in the middle of nowhere…where I couldn’t hurt anyone. But he likes to remain anonymous because he doesn’t want to get roped back in. He’ll do a favor for me now and then.”

“And what he knows is reliable?”

“Yes.”

“So what we need to do now, is find a date for when a Phoenix existed and go back in time and kill it?”

“Basically.”

“Great.” He said sarcastically. With that, we packed up our things and headed off to Ohio not knowing what exactly we could do to help but knowing that we couldn’t just sit around while people got hurt.

PART TWENTY-FOUR (Coming soon) 

Let me know what you think

[durenjtmusings]

What if humans weren’t the only supernatural ‘hunters’?

Welcome to my first full story published online ever. It is meant to be an Introduction to a new type of 'hunter’ character in the SPN universe - one that will, eventually (hopefully), interact with Canon characters. She is drawn from ideas created by Seanan McGuire in the Incryptid and Sparrow Hill Road books*, but is wholly new - her own person, providing an alternative approach to addressing spiritual problems in the world of SPN.

2,657 words

No actual SPN characters or canon settings IN the story

Content notes: death, abuse, LGBT issues

I have a bunch of these stories outlined, with other ‘hunters’ of this type in the works as well. I would WELCOME anyone interested in writing fic in this AU, co-writing with me or beta reading future stories. Contact me @durenjtmusings​

Last Chance

“Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark. Begin at the beginning. Tell [me] a story. Make some light.” — Kate DiCamillo, The Tale of Despereaux

Southeast Tennessee Early summer, 2003

As usual, she began catching rides just after dawn, following the pull of the Road – this time south and west towards the Tennessee/Alabama border. She wore her hair blonde and short today, in a blunt cut just past the jawline. Given the accompanying snow white complexion, she decided that a low cut lacy tank with wedge sandals and tight faded jeans formed a believable compromise between suggestive and sun poisoning. She was thin, a natural result of abuse and self-neglect, but still attractive enough that travel was predictably swift. Her first ride, a refreshingly earnest elderly couple, helpfully provided a light scarf-like wrap, “…to protect your lovely shoulders from all those nasty UV-rays, dearie.” When she hit SR-64 around noon, however, traffic became scarce and she was forced to walk miles in the unrelenting rays of a clear blue summer sky.  As the scarf became glued to her skin, both the heels and the jeans were loudly and thoroughly cursed as phenomenally stupid decisions. Given all her years traveling the region, she certainly should have known better. Despite it all, of course, she still felt frigidly cold at her core. She was always cold – or almost always, anyway.

Twelve years ago, she had wished desperately for a better life. When she ran away, she hadn’t just been running from the abuse, she’d also been running towards something. With nothing but her purse and the clothes on her back, she’d been heading for California - the pacific coast – as FAR away as she could get by stolen car. Unlike many, she didn’t have a specific goal in mind. She didn’t want to be a star; she didn’t want to be famous or rich. I just wanted to see new things, go new places, do different work, and meet new...people.

When she realized where she was heading, however, she rolled her eyes and allowed herself a loud resigned sigh. Oh hell, it’s Freddie. Again. Well, Freddie  had been something new, she had to admit.

As her final ride dropped her off at the 97 junction, the Road’s level of anxiety filled her with dread. Goddammit! I’m too late, she cursed inwardly. Freddie’d always been odd, but he had recently taken to lying in the middle of the road in broad daylight, causing havoc with lunchtime traffic patterns. When it was just an occasional car run off the road at midnight, she’d let him go with a stern talking to and a fierce glare. He’d disappear and sulk for a few months and then be at it again. They’d kept this up for a couple of years …but she’d seen that he was getting worse. His horizontal antics had slowly slid from juvenile trick to depression to malice. Now, according to the Road, Freddie’s weird aggressive passivity had caused a fatality. Now, sadly, she’d have to do something more final.

As the ambulance passed by, red lights flashing and siren blaring, she slipped the scarf from her shoulders and slid off the pavement to search the late afternoon shadows. He turned out to be an easy find. Just standing by the edge of the cornfield, Freddie had his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his bell bottoms, with his face turned towards the ground. As she approached, his shoulders twitched defensively underneath his tattered Star Wars t-shirt. She knew he knew what was coming. She’d warned him, time and time again. Man, I HATE this part of the job, she thought. He didn’t look up as she stopped beside him.

“Freddie, dude…” she said sadly.

“I don’t wanna go, Susan.” He still wouldn’t look at her. His tone was flat, his body posture tense. She recognized all the red flags for resistance. Great, just great, and now on top of it, I have to fight a 14-year-old boy.  Around them swirled the lights and buzz and hum of the accident - police cars’ flashing lights, the EMTs rushing about, bystanders milling around making exclamations of horror, etc. Officers were busy directing traffic around the crash and, as always, rubberneckers were staring. Susan and Freddie ignored the chaos, focused only on each other.

She didn’t know a lot about Freddie’s background. She hadn’t been the one to meet him - to explain the options and help him through the transition. She’d only met him a couple of years ago when he’d started creating problems. She knew that he hadn’t grown up around here, that he had been a more urban boy transplanted to this rural life. She knew that he’d been gay - or questioning - before it happened and that he hadn’t been accepted here. And while she was certain this had something to do with his depression and self-destructive behaviors, she didn’t know his story. She didn’t know WHY he did what he did. She’d tried repeatedly to get him to sit down and tell her - to share his private anger and grief - but he always refused, making a joke, or just laughing... harshly. She didn’t have many failures on her record and it nearly broke her heart that Freddie would now be added to the list.

“Freddie, it’s time to go now. You have to say goodbye now. You know that.” She was careful to talk softly, trying one last time to convince him to take the easy way out.

“I don’t wanna go, Susan.” Threatening this time, clearly holding back anger - likely years upon years of carefully hoarded anger. “I didn’t WANT this. I didn’t ASK for this. I just wanted to live my life but they wouldn’t LET me.” Finally, he turned towards her, his good eye startlingly blue in the mangled mess of his face. “I want them to PAY for this.”

And there it is, the final nail in the coffin (so to speak). There in his voice was that shift to vengeance - to lash out at those responsible. And at this point, he saw anyone living as responsible. Susan sighed, knowing, just knowing that this was going to be a bad day. A very bad day. Thank the Powers that I’ve lost the sandals, she reflected. She took a tiny step forward, tentatively reaching for his hand.

“I can listen, Freddie. You know I can listen. I can listen and I can tell your story. I can make sure everyone knows what happened, so that, maybe, just maybe, it won’t happen again…for someone. Wouldn’t you like to try to SAVE someone?” She’d made this appeal to him every time. She was obligated to make it again, even though she had little hope of success.

“I SAID, I DON’T WANT TO GO!” Freddie exploded into action, lunging to grab at the collar of her jean jacket with both hands extended, his face further contorted by rage.

She had time to think, “Better at me than at them,” and then her years of experience took over. The fight took longer than she expected, for what Freddie lacked in skill, he more than made up for in power. He’d had years to build up that power – especially since he’d used so little of it when playing his tricks on the road. She was careful to keep the fight away from the crowds, as this kind of wild energy was highly likely to have negative effects on the human psyche. Particularly when they couldn’t see the cause.

“Stay DOWN, Freddie, give it up. You’re DONE.” Finally pinned, Freddie struggled in her hold as Susan began to say the words. She detested these words, the ones that summoned the Dark Takers. The ones who came to collect twisted and involuntary souls always leered at her, making her skin try to crawl off of her body. And they stank. They stank of decay and agony in horrid places and grim defeat. She gritted her teeth to hold back the tears. She hated the very idea of this young boy with those horrors but she had no choice. He’d made it clear that he wouldn’t stop and the Road was adamant that no more lives could be lost.

“STOP! Stop Susan, please…stop.” His body had stilled as he cried out, his words quickly turning into a plea. Freddie remained tense, but no longer fought her hold. Susan immediately halted her chant, but held herself ready to continue at the first sign of another of his tricks. “Please…I just want…” Freddie’s voice choked off, as he attempted to grapple with expressing an avalanche of pent up emotions and desires.

“Hey, hey...” Susan said soothingly. “Take it easy. It’s a lot, I know. There’s no rush, we have all the time we want.” She carefully began to relax her hold and let a bit of a smile creep into her voice. “I’ve got nowhere else I need to be. How about you?” Thankfully, she felt his body slump and then begin to jerk with sobs. “It’s ok, kid. It’s ok to mourn the life you wanted, the life you could have lived.”

He told her then, in between sobs, about the girl and the teasing and the misunderstandings. All perfectly normal teen angst until they found them - with him dressed in her borrowed clothes. How it escalated so quickly to ugliness and threats from peers and adults alike. Each day an almost unbearable new torment until her parents took her away – his only ally. They caught him alone soon after, took him into the woods far from prying eyes, and terrorized him for what seemed an eternity. Freddie was calmer by then, his voice stronger, the anger returning. “They were wrong. I was not a freak. I am not a freak.”

“Of course not, Freddie.” Her voice was firm, and matter of fact. “You were discovering who you wanted to be – simply exploring the facets of your soul. Not a damn thing wrong with that.” She was holding him in her arms by then, both of them curled up by the side of the road, Freddie with is head buried in her t-shirt.

“Sadly, they were too limited to accept anything beyond their own expectations.” Her voice softened. “They were afraid of you Freddie. You scared them, badly, and they…well, I can’t begin to explain or excuse their actions.” Susan sighed. So many people, so many stories, so full of hurt and sadness.

“But you got away, didn’t you Freddie?” Susan prompted. “You ran until you found a road – this road.”

Freddie looked up, his good eye wide with surprise. “Yes, how did you know? I was hurt...bleeding...and I just wanted it to stop. I ran and ran, trying to hide in the corn, but it wasn’t tall enough, and they just…they just kept coming. It was getting dark and I couldn’t see well without my glasses, but when I found the road…” His face, full of hope, crumpled as the memories found him. Whimpering, he curled up tighter within her arms.

“You thought for sure you were saved. And then someone did come, but they didn’t see you, did they, Freddie? And then you…” And then you died, Freddie. You died horribly, with your face smashed in and all your possibilities cut short. “And then you ended up like this.” Susan patted his shoulder soothingly. “I know about you finding this road, Freddie, because, like you, I belong to the Road. It tells me where there are troubles and I try to help solve them.” And you’ve been troubled for a long time Freddie. Twenty-four years is a long time to be stuck at 14 years old, holding on to all that anger and pain.

“What happens now, Susan?” Freddie pulled himself out of her embrace and turned to look into her face. “Do I still have to go?” His expression was a painful mix of hope and fear. She hated the answer she had to give.

“You took a life, Freddie – an innocent life. That’s where they draw the line. You can’t stay here anymore.” At his panicked look, she softened her expression, reaching out to take his hand. “They say you have to redeem yourself, Freddie. You know that, don’t you?” At his rebellious expression, she gripped his hand more tightly. “It’s better if you go voluntarily, kid, trust me on this.” The threat of the Takers skulked again through her thoughts. “If you choose to go, they say it can be a point in your favor – a step towards your eventual release.”

“My release? How long will that take? And who are they anyway?” Freddie’s voice was dangerously edged with both sarcasm and despair.

Susan struggled to find the right tone - the right words to convince him – and then gave up trying. “I don’t know, Freddie, sometimes I think the Road doesn’t tell me shit.” She sighed and found herself wondering, once again, why they had picked her for the job. Because someone has to do it or the world would be chaos. She knew the answer – sort of – but that wouldn’t be much help to Freddie.

Susan turned his hand over and watched her own fingers trace idle circles in his palm. “I guess…in my job I’ve talked with a lot of folks, Freddie. And from that, I know a lot of it is about chances. Chances and what you chose to do with them. And all that pain and anger you’re holding on to? It makes you powerful, but it doesn’t help much in thinking about your options.” She tipped his chin up, forcing him to look her in the eye. “You gotta let it go, hon, you just gotta.” Susan let go of his chin and brushed a bloodied lock of his hair from his forehead. Her voice softened even further, as her hand slid down to lightly cup his shattered jaw. “I’ll tell your story – you know I will, I promise you that. I’ll write it and put it out there on the net where god and everyone can see it.” She could see it in his face, he wasn’t convinced. Like so many his age, the reality of the internet was a thing beyond conception. He needed something more concrete – more real. “I’ll tell them, Freddie, I’ll tell all the others I meet. You won’t be forgotten, I promise.”

She had him then, she could feel it through his skin. It wasn’t easy, though. It took time to convince him to say the words – time and lots and lots of talking. If it was easy, Susie-Q, she reminded herself, they wouldn’t call it work. By the time the night was spent, Freddie was still resentful, but however grudgingly, he agreed to go. The road was clear of all human activity by the time she passed Freddie over to the solemn and solitary guide in the thinning shadows. She felt herself relax for the first time since sunset. She had not been too late; there had been one last chance. She waved a silent farewell as his image faded away, to wherever it was they sent him, for however long they decided it took.

She’d wanted a better life. What they’d given her was a different…existence. And that had provided new things, new places…certainly different work, and new…stories.

So, not so bad a day at that. Not exactly a win, really. I’ll call this one a draw, I guess. She eyed the sky, estimating the coming dawn. Sensible shoes this time, dammit, she thought. As always, she was cold - all the way through to her bones. Time to find a willing rube and a ride, she thought. And hopefully, a good meal at a high end truck stop with terminals and a free connection to the net.

She had a new story to share.

Notes:

*If you liked this, I recommend the following free online Seanan McGuire stories that helped inspire me:

Good Girls Go to Heaven  

The Ghosts of Bourbon Street (pdf)

Bury Me In Satin (pdf)

And, of course - you could always BUY Sparrow Hill Road

Image Sources:

Opening Road image: http://s3.favim.com/orig/46/alone-countryside-girl-road-sun-Favim.com-423773.jpg

Girl on Road image:  https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3713/11698693665_ef58987edb_o.jpg