#i rlly want it.. ff means so much to me so. >.>
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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christmas break FINALLY YEAH 🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#i just woke up from a nap like an hour ago#technically still have the final paper to do but i can't do my part yet since it's the conclusion so i gotta wait for my grp 😭#gna go out this sunday to like monday though? ><#we were gna go to the beach n stuff like that iirc last october w our bday but bcs of the storms we cldn't so!!!!#hehe i'm excited#i'm hoping that somehow i cld hang out w some of my friends this break#or. idk even online is good enough for me i miss calling w them i only typically like call every now n then. i rarely do so#n even if i want to idk i'm not rlly the type to ask my friends for stuff n i'm especially shy to initiate but#i always try my best to be there for them wnvr they ask ><#that said i wna hesitate less bcs i notice a lot of stuff n i want to do a lot but.. i get anxious :<< not that it's anyone's fault i just#overthink that i'll fuck things up somehow but i'm working on that though! <33#oh man i miss my friends fr like. irl online just everyone#i'm gna try my best to be productive this break. i'm really gna have to fix my sleep though#i think i'll. HELP IDK WHAT TO DO FIRST MAYBE I'LL MAKE A SCHED#but i'll not sleep past 3 am. n hmmm#spontaneously i want to play ffxv or ff7r? n some other games too n#my dad was looking at ccr in steam like last night i think. it's expensive though 💀#i rlly want it.. ff means so much to me so. >.>#SOMEDAY! SOON. HOPEFULLY. idk i'm really. idk if this is the right word but i'm shy w using money for myself#yk i think i'll finish shadow of colossus rq since i have it in my ps4 rn n then. bcs i'm lacking storage space yeah i'll finish that up#then i think i want to step into ffxv again even for just a bit >//<#watch me i'll be reduced to just a simple dumbass when i see noctis again oh dear
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likeumeanit9497 · 6 months ago
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please baby | c. s. |
chris sturniolo x fem!reader
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summary: chris and y/n have always had what felt like a perfect relationship. that is, until a few weeks ago. chris had been treating y/n poorly, and after one especially hurtful conversation, she is forced to make a difficult decision. when chris comes to the realization that he is about to lose it all, will he swallow his pride and do what he needs to win her back?
warnings: established relationship; smut; angst; fighting; (relatively) toxic chris; crying; unprotected sex; fluff; 18+
notes: based on this request by 🎀. i've never rlly written an angsty fic before, so let me know what u all think! also wrote this super quick so i don't think it's my best work, but still i hope u enjoy <333
ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ
Through tears, I stared blankly at my phone. My eyes had been glued to my lit up screen for the past two minutes — unmoving, and unable to register what I was reading. Even with blurry vision, Chris’ last message to me was seared into my memory.
Chris: Ffs Y/n, just shut up. I said I’ll get there when i get there jesus.
Just as my brimmed tears finally spilled over, so did the water I was boiling on the stove. The immediate steam and sizzling noises pulled me from my phone, and frustrated for more than one reason, I raced over to the stove and shoved the pot off of the element; leaving the boiling pasta noodles to sit in the water. Just looking at my failed attempt at dinner brought on a new level of pain, as it was a reminder of what I hoped that the night could be.
Chris, my boyfriend of almost one year, was supposed to be coming over tonight. I had been super excited, because both of our schedules had been especially busy lately and we hadn’t been able to spend much time together over the past three weeks, plus I had some good news to share with him about my work. I had wanted to make the night special, so I had decided to cook one of Chris’ favourite meals — chicken alfredo — to surprise him with once he arrived.
He was currently stuck at the warehouse for a merch meeting with Nick, Matt, and his manager, and he had told me that he would come over and spend the night once he was done there. That was a few hours ago, and I had been patiently waiting for an update from him until about thirty minutes ago, when I sent him a simple message asking if he had any idea when he would be done at the warehouse. Little did I know, that singular message would cause a massive storm to erupt.
Y/n: hey babe! just wondering if you have an idea on when you can come over?
Chris: Not rlly sure
Y/n: okay…rough estimate maybe?
Y/n: just have some things i need to get done before u get here hehe
Chris: I’ll get there when I get there.
Y/n: uh..is something wrong?
Chris: No why
Y/n: ur being kinda mean???
Chris: No I’m not
Y/n: ok
Chris: My god Y/n I don’t have time for this rn
Y/n: i just said ok
Y/n: you go ahead and go back to your meeting
Y/n: i was just asking for an update, that’s all.
Y/n: didn’t realize that was such a horrible thing.
Chris: Ffs Y/n, just shut up. I said I’ll get there when i get there jesus.
Even though I hate to admit it, this wasn’t the first time that Chris had been an absolute asshole to me lately. Just last week, he had started a fight that ended with him hanging up the phone on me; only to call back a little while later to apologize. And then a few days before that, he had put zero effort into making time for me when I had tried to make plans for us to go to the movies. And during all of this, he has been incredibly dry over messages. It had been bothering me for a while now, because to me it was clear that he was losing interest. I knew that our relationship would be far from perfect going in to it, considering Chris had never been in a real relationship before me, but deep down I hoped that it would always be as perfect as it was at the beginning. Unfortunately for my hopes and dreams, his actions — or lack thereof — were shattering.
I wasn’t some oblivious girlfriend either; it was clear to me that Chris was going through something. I knew that for a fact, but every time I tried to get him to open up to me about it all, he shut me down with lame excuses: “Oh, I’m just tired,” or, “I’ve just been stressed lately”. I figured that he just needed time, and that eventually he would come to me and explain exactly what had been going on so that I could help him through it.
But now, after his hurtful words to me tonight, I was seriously considering my other options. I had been in far too many toxic relationships in the past, and had learned that I deserve more than what I had been accepting. I wouldn’t let myself be Chris’ punching bag anymore, and I knew right then and there that I had an incredibly painful task to do.
Allowing myself to be overtaken by my build up of tears, I slowly walked into my bedroom; turning off the lights and covering myself with my comforter. My shoulders heaved as I let the tears stream down my face; my brain accepting what I needed to do but my body rejecting it in every way possible. Through the tears, I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Chris — telling him that I was tired and that he might as well not come at all tonight, but we should talk tomorrow — before curling into a ball and wallowing in my own sorrows.
I stayed in the exact same position for what felt like ages; allowing myself to get all of the emotions out now so that when I had to do what I had to do tomorrow I could do so without breaking down so hard. Eventually, my tears slowed and I felt my burning eyes begin to grow heavy. Sleep was beginning to overtake me, and as I gave into my exhaustion my mind filled with scenes of the nightmare that I was going to have to face tomorrow.
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I was startled out of my sleep by the sound of keys jangling from the direction of my front door. Disoriented, it took me a moment to be overtaken by the feeling of dread that came from hearing that noise. The only person who had a key to my apartment was Chris. Before, hearing his keys at my door filled my stomach with undeniable excitement — now, my stomach did anxious flips knowing what had to be done.
As I heard the door open and close, I rolled over so that I was facing away from my bedroom door and glued my eyes shut; pretending to still be asleep. I heard his soft footsteps on the other side of the door as he wandered through my dark apartment, before a hushed “shit!” broke the silence. After a few moments, I listened as his footsteps grew closer and closer to my bedroom door, and as I heard it slowly creak open, I braced for impact.
The room stayed silent, though I couldn’t really say that for sure since I couldn’t hear anything above the sound of my own racing heart in my ears. I did my best to stay completely still, though it felt like every part of my body was vibrating; waiting for his next move. Suddenly, I felt a shift in my mattress as his body leaned against it, and physically jumped at the feeling of his hand on my shoulder; shaking it gently.
“Y/n, wake up.” He spoke in a faux whisper, and, even though I had been pretending, I felt my body grow hot in anger that he would have the audacity to wake me from my sleep after showing up to my apartment uninvited. However, my body still not understanding that it wouldn’t belong to him much longer, I shot up from my place on the bed and searched for his eyes. The room was pitch black, but I could sense exactly where he was in front of me.
Rubbing my eyes, I searched the bed for my phone, checking the time to find that it was already nearly 2 a.m. I felt the mattress shift once again and watched his faint outline as he sat on his side of my bed. “Y/n, you left the stove on.” He was still whispering, and his sentence ended in a slight chuckle; clearly oblivious to the decision that I had made on my own just hours before.
Too heartbroken to really care about the stove, I shrugged my shoulders. “Whoops.” Was all I said to the silent room. “What happened? You fall asleep in the middle of making dinner or something?” His voice was still light-hearted, and was far from a tone that matched his previous texts to me. It made it so difficult for me to remember what I had to do.
“Turn the lamp on please.” I said simply, using every ounce of strength in my body to keep my tone monotonous. Chris stayed still for a moment, clearly thrown off by my behaviour. “Uh, okay.” He finally said as he leaned toward the bedside table closest to him and switched on the warm-toned light. After allowing my eyes time to adjust to the sudden brightness, they immediately fell on him.
Oh, my Chris.
His beautiful blue eyes were so kind and bright, his long hair was wet and messily draped across his forehead, and his matching oversized sweat set made me want nothing more than to curl into him and breathe him in. He stared at me blankly for a moment, clearly beginning to register that I was upset, before finally speaking. “I’m really sorry about earlier, baby. I had been in the meeting for hours and was getting really stressed out.” I felt the lump in my throat begin to grow. Some variation of that exact sentence had been the same excuse he had given me each and every time he had hurt me over the past few weeks, and it had lost its sincerity long ago. So, instead of giving into his cheap apology, I sat up in my bed and faced him; taking a deep breath before speaking.
“I have to tell you something. And I need you to let me say this without interrupting, or else I’m scared I won’t be able to go through with it. I’ve had to say this for a while now, and now that we are where we are I know it has to be done. So please, let me say it, okay?” His light eyes were focused intensely on me, he was clearly trying to figure out where this conversation was going. But finally, he swallowed before tentatively nodding his head. “O-okay.”
I closed my eyes, feeling my lower lip quiver as I tried to find my footing on this conversation. After taking a shaky breath, I finally found my voice. “I can’t do this anymore, Chris.” Immediately, my attempt at getting all my tears out of the way earlier proved to be a failure; because as soon as the heavy words left my mouth I broke down into sobs.
Over my crying, I heard Chris’ disbelieving voice. “What do you mean you’re done with this? With what? Me?” His voice cracked slightly as he spoke, clearly being hit with the same emotions that I was. I stayed silent — my eyes screwed shut as I wrapped my arms around my torso; doing my best to comfort myself. “Y/n, please tell me what you’re talking about.” He pleaded, and I felt him scoot closer to me on the bed; placing a hesitant hand on my knee.
After catching my breath, I wiped my tears away and opened my eyes to find his frantically searching my face like an uncertain creature. “I know you’re going through something right now,” My voice was coming out nearly silent, but I continued, “And I tried so hard to be there for you, I really did Chris. But you won’t talk to me! Instead, you’ve been taking out all of your frustrations on me and treating me like absolute shit. Do you really think that’s okay?” I fought the lump in my throat as I got my words out, his shattered face no help in that department. Frantically, Chris shook his head. “No. No, it’s not okay, baby, and I’m really sorry. But please, please don’t do this.” His tone tugged at my heart strings as his desperation grew more and more transparent.
Shaking my head and closing my eyes, I shut him down. “Can you tell me why you’ve been acting the way you have?” I knew my question was pointless before I even asked it, but his silence confirmed it. Releasing an ironic chuckle, I continued. “I promised myself that I would never let another man treat me badly. I’ve put up with it far too many times, and no matter how much I love you, Chris, I can’t allow you to speak to me the way you have been lately.”
I opened my eyes and felt my heart sink at his ghostly expression, clearly on the verge of losing his shit. I brought a hand up to his cheek and stroked it for a moment, and as I did he closed his eyes and let a few tears fall. “I want you to get better, I really do. But I clearly can’t help you, so you need to do it on your own.” My own words felt like a stab in the chest, and I couldn’t help the tears as they streamed down my face. “Come to me when you’ve worked through your shit, and we can see if we can repair things. But for now, I need you to leave.”
At that, Chris’ eyes shot open in a panic and he immediately grabbed onto my leg. “No, Y/n, please. Don’t do this.” I turned my head away from him as his desperation became too much to bear. His hands traveled across my body in anguish, clearly losing all control of his emotions as the reality of our situation began to set in for him. His body slid off of the bed as he dissolved into tears against my comforter. Still having the instinct to comfort him, I scooted towards the edge of the bed, where I let my legs stretch out beside him as I ran my hands through his beautiful curls.
“Please, please baby, I swear to god I can’t do this shit without you.” He wretchedly pleaded with me, clutching my leg and trailing distressed kisses along it. I looked up at the sky, too pained by the scene that was playing out in front of me. “Chris, please, I need you to go.” I begged him, needing to put him out of his misery so that I could hurt in private. He maintained his grasp on my leg, sobbing inconsolably against it. I gave him a moment, in which he slowly began to regain control of his emotions. I watched as his sobbing grew quieter and his breathing slowed, before finally watching as he pulled himself up to his feet; the weight of our conversation evident in the way he held himself weakly.
He glanced down at me quickly, his blue eyes red and puffy, before turning away in what looked like shame. In utter silence, he turned and began walking slowly in the direction of my bedroom door. With his hand on the door knob, he paused for a moment. “I’m sorry.” His words were so quiet I could have easily missed them, but the sincerity cut through my heart like a knife. That sincerity hadn’t been present in any of the other apologies he gave me, and I was gutted that it appeared too late.
And then just like that, he was gone. I felt all the air leave my chest at the realization of what I had just done, and let my body fall back against my bed as tears once again poured down my cheeks. I couldn’t help but immediately question whether or not I had done the right thing. Was I a horrible person for abandoning the man I loved when he was so clearly dealing with something? Did I allow my fears of repeating my past distort my current reality? Were the things he said to me really that bad?
I was pulled out of my tormenting thoughts by a soft voice coming from my doorway.
“My meeting today wasn’t about merch.”
That was all that he said. That was all it took for my heart to begin to beat for him again. One small hint of vulnerability. Feeling humiliated internally, I sat up on my elbows and found him hovering in the doorway. “Talk to me about it Chris.” I sounded exacerbated even to my own ears, feeling frustrated from all of the overwhelming emotions that the evening held. Tentatively, he walked over to the bed and sat beside me on the edge, arms resting on his knees. After clearing his throat, he began to explain. “The meeting today wasn’t about merch, it wasn’t really about anything to be honest.” Confused, I waited in silence for him to continue.
“A few weeks ago, Laura brought up the idea of going on another tour. A European tour.” He paused for a moment. “Nick and Matt immediately agreed and wanted to start planning everything so that we could do it this summer, but I said I didn’t want to do it.” I watched the back of his head, slightly shocked by his words since I knew that he had enjoyed the previous tours so much. “We would be overseas for a month, and I didn’t want to be so far away from you for that long. So I told them I didn’t wanna do it.” He took a deep breath. “Now, Matt and Nick are super pissed at me. They’ve both been giving me the silent treatment for weeks outside of the few times when they’ve just tore me a new one. And sure, we’ve all fought before, but never this bad. It’s been going on for so long, and I feel like I’ve lost sight of everything without having them be there for me.” His voice grew thick with emotion, and I fought the urge to cry along with him.
“Things have gotten so bad between us, that Laura forced us all to come in tonight to basically have a supervised argument. We sat there for hours, Y/n, just screaming at each other. And we got nowhere. I stood firm in what I wanted and so did they, so that’s why it went on for so long. And that’s also why I have been treating you like a complete dick lately. Because even though you had no clue what was going on, I think a part of me was kinda blaming you for all this shit. And I know that wasn’t fair, I really do. I just didn’t know how to tell you all of this because I’ve never been in a situation like this before.”
He turned to look at me, grabbing at my hand that was lying dormant in the space between us. “And I’m so, so sorry that I treated you the way I did. You didn’t deserve it. At all. But please baby, please don’t leave me. Because if you do, I will be completely lost. You are my anchor, and I need you to be there for me.” Tears rolled down my face as his voice cracked in desperation. “And I swear, baby, I won’t treat you like shit ever again. If you can’t believe me, and if you’re really truly done, I’ll understand. But please, Y/n, if there’s any part of you that believes me, please don’t leave.” He dropped his head into my lap, wrapping his arm around my waist and gripping onto my oversized t-shirt. Out of instinct, I brought my hand to his face and began stroking it softly; wiping away his tears as I did.
We stayed that way for a long time, both of us sniffling, heaving messes. I couldn’t lie, his honesty truly impacted me. I knew that he had to have gone against every single one of his instincts to finally tell me what had been going on in his life, and the fact that he did meant so much to me. I knew that Chris was extremely reliant on his brothers being a constant in his life, and couldn’t even imagine how lost he must feel knowing that they’re against him. His problem was much more severe than I thought it would have been prior to him opening up, and I felt an overwhelming amount of empathy for him. I knew that his poor treatment of me — as wrong as it was — had been completely out of character, and as I sat there stroking his soft cheek, I decided that I would believe him.
“Come up here.” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Immediately, Chris lifted his head off of my thighs and sat up, his face inches from mine. Without a moment of hesitation, I leaned forward and engulfed his lips with my own. He immediately reciprocated, and both of our tongues worked in unison to lap up the salty taste of each other’s tears. Chris leaned forward, encouraging me to fall back against my pillows as he continued his passionate assault on my lips. His mouth travelled down my neck, where I shuddered as I felt him place sucks and nibbles sure to leave a trail of purple bruises. His body was warm on top of mine, and I had never before felt so present with him; so aware of his every movement.
He moved down my body, stopping briefly at my chest to remove my shirt, before continuing down below my waist. With his tongue, he created a path from just below my belly button to my right hip bone, where he left another purple bruise; causing my skin to break out in goose bumps. Lifting my hips, he wasted no time in pulling my boy shorts off of my body and leaving me completely bare. He continued to leave gentle kisses along each square inch of my body surrounding my core, but making sure to leave the place where I needed his mouth the most completely untouched.
I began to grow impatient, my body temperature increasing as my body filled with arousal. As he placed a kiss on my inner thigh, I bucked my hips up in frustration; practically begging for contact. Noticing my agitation, Chris almost immediately obliged, and I gasped out in pleasure as his tongue began working its magic against my clit. With each hand holding up my thighs, Chris swirled his tongue relentlessly against my bundle of nerves. I struggled to keep my body still as his movements continued, and failed miserably once he inserted two of his fingers into my core. “Fuck Chris, t-that’s so good.” I moaned out as his tongue and fingers worked my cunt in harmony. The wet sounds of my arousal grew louder and louder as I began to approach my orgasm, and in reflex my hands tangled in his hair; doing everything I could to keep him exactly where I needed him.
“Gonna cum, baby.” I cried out, and his encouraging hum against my clit was enough to get me there. My back arched off of the bed as my body began to convulse. To keep me in place, Chris took his free hand and placed it firmly on my lower stomach; causing me to scream out in pleasure. His mouth and fingers continued to push me through my orgasm, and didn’t stop even after my nerves became over sensitive. “C-Chris please. Can’t take anymore.” I struggled to get out the words, but he listened. Detaching his mouth from my core, he dragged his body back up my own and came face to face with me.
With the glean of my arousal still on his lips, he kissed me so deep I felt my lungs inflate. I could taste myself on his tongue, and my eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head from the intensity of the moment. I broke the kiss for only a moment to pull his hoodie over his head; relishing in the feeling of his bare chest against my own. Through his sweatpants, I could feel his bulging member press against my pelvis, and I reached in between our bodies and pulled his waistband down along with his boxers. Now completely free, his cock dribbled pre-cum down my stomach. With my hand still between us, I collected what was left of his fluid along his slit before slowly stroking my hand up and down his swollen shaft.
His breath hitched as I continued my movements, and he thoughtlessly bucked his hips into my hand to increase the friction along his trembling member. My hand twisted around his dick for a few more pumps, before I slowly guided it down toward my entrance. Once Chris felt the heat of my core at the tip of his cock, he looked down at me with darkened eyes — still slightly puffy from his previous tears — and dropped his jaw as he began to slide into me.
I gasped at the feeling of my walls stretching around his sizeable girth, and released a breathy moan as he bottomed out. Laying on top of me, he grabbed both sides of my face in between his hands and held it firmly as he began thrusting into me. His eyes never left mine as his hips rolled into me, and I watched in ecstasy at the pleasure visible on his face — as I’m sure he was doing to me. Our bodies smacked together in a steady rhythm and the wet sounds filled the room, adding an additional sensation to my arousal.
“I-I’m so sorry, baby.” Grunted Chris through deep thrusts. “It’s — oh fuck — it’s okay Chris.” I replied as I wrapped my legs around his waist. “Just please — please tell me you’re mine.” His voice sounded desperate and choppy, most likely caused by a combination of arousal and real distress. His choice of words and the tone at which he said them caused my stomach to do a flip, and I felt my second orgasm approach. Fighting the urge to give into the overwhelming feeling, I reached up and swiped his glistening lip with my thumb. “I’m yours baby, always.” I managed to respond through my cries of pleasure. Chris smiled down at me lazily before burying his face in my neck; leaving sloppy, breathy kisses along its thin skin.
My walls began to pulse and my skin started to feel like it was being lit on fire; both clear signs that I was extremely overstimulated as I was approaching my orgasm. “Shit, gonna cum again.” I blurted out just as I was hit with a tsunami of an orgasm. My legs tightened around his waist and my nails dug into his arms as I fought to keep my head above water, but my mind grew fuzzy as I spewed guttural profanities into the room as I came in waves.
It didn’t take long for Chris’ orgasm to follow, and that was made clear by his throaty grunts and sloppy pace before he stopped entirely; shouting breathless 'I love yous' into my neck as his cock shot its warm fluid deep inside of me. He eventually pulled out, before curling two fingers into me and shoving all of our conjoined juices up to my cervix. His eyes stayed glued to my cunt as he did so, seemingly in awe of the view.
“You’re all mine, and I’m all yours.” He said it so quiet that he might have just been saying it to himself, before he leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on the crest of my heat; earning a full-body flinch from me.
He came back up to the top of the bed where he laid down beside me, pulling me towards his chest and running a hand up and down my naked back. I felt so secure in his arms — his familiar smell filling my nostrils and calming my mind — that I nearly forgot everything that had happened prior to the past 15 minutes or so. That is, until he spoke.
“So, are we okay?” His voice was tentative, and he was very clearly afraid to hear my answer. I uncurled myself from his body so that I could look up at his lovely face, his desperate eyes scanning my poker face for any sort of hint.
“You will never, ever, speak to me like that again, no matter what.” I kept my voice firm, even when his face immediately relaxed into a grin. “I swear, I won’t baby.” He responded, trying to tuck me back into his chest, but I pushed back slightly. “And, I need you to talk to me about shit you’re going through, Chris. I’m your girlfriend. That’s my job. You need to promise me, you will come to me about anything, and I will do everything I can to help you through it.” He continued to gaze at me, though his wavering eyes and his chewing on his lower lip made it clear that the idea made him anxious. “Promise me, Chris.” I repeated, making it clear how serious I was.
Finally, Chris nodded his head. “I promise, baby. I’ll tell you everything.” I smiled, then, finally feeling secure in our relationship for the first time in weeks. “Then yes, we’re okay.” I responded before planting a soft kiss to his pink lips. “And you and your brothers are going to be okay, too.” His worried expression deepened at the reminder of his conflict with Nick and Matt. “We’ll talk about it more tomorrow once we get some rest, but we can make the tour work. You know, I’ve always wanted to visit Europe.” I watched as his lips began to turn up into a soft smile. “Plus,” I leaned forward to whisper in his ear, “I wouldn’t mind being your groupie.”
He dissolved into giggles at that. “But what about your job?” He asked tentatively. I shrugged. “I actually got promoted today. I was gonna tell you earlier, but y’know.” His face fell momentarily. “I got a raise, but more importantly I got more benefits. Including thirty vacation days.” His face lit up once again, and it was almost like I could see the weight lift off of his shoulders before he attacked my face with kisses. “So let’s have another meeting with Laura and your brothers tomorrow and work this all out. I can come, and we can fix this easily together.” Tears welled in his eyes, and he nodded his head before kissing me hard. “I love you, Y/n.”
I curled myself back into his chest and sighed, taking in the feeling of him mindlessly drawing random shapes on my back. This was the Chris that I knew and loved, and I knew that this is who he really was. He wasn’t perfect, but I never expected him to be. Problems come with every relationship, and of course there was never any guarantee, but I had a feeling that this night would vastly change our relationship for the better.
ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ
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onetoomanyfandomfixations · 9 months ago
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Hazbin Hotel Characters React to You Asking for a Hug (PART 1)
Y’all already KNEW this was coming
Charlie
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“Oh my goodness, of course you can have a hug!!!”
So excited omg
Her love language is physical touch, she told me herself
Her hugs are Aggressive
Like, the whole tackles you the ground if you’re not careful
Bone crushing hugs
Hugging Charlie is cheaper than chiro, and works just as well 🤷‍♀️
She is So Here for asking for what you need though
So proud of you, even if this is completely normal for you
Vaggie
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“I mean, fine, but does it have to be me?”
Will begrudgingly hug you
Tries her hardest to hand you off to her gf
Proud Chaggie enthusiast here
Gives a Solid hug
Firm and safe vibes
Lowkey happy to came to her though
Won’t hug you for a long period of time
BUT
Will happily let you trail after her for the rest of the day
Angel Dust
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MY BELOVED
“Ya sure ya don’t need nothin’ else babes?”
Honest to god shocked when you genuinely just want a hug
“Ah, shit. Um. Okay toots.”
Starts off as the awkwardest hugger omfg
Doesn’t rlly know what to do
Realises that he kinda needs this too after the first few seconds.
One set of arms hold you, while the other plays with your hair
“Yo, do ya just wanna cuddle or somethin’?”
Y’all become eachother’s designated comfort person after that
you’re one of the only people who’s touch makes angel feel safe and cared for
Husk
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“Shit, really? Ugh, c’m’ere.”
Pretends to hate it
Probs the only person to instantly pick up on whatever reason you need a hug
“You need to talk ‘bout it?”
Canonically good listener
Won’t offer solutions unless you ask for them
wing hugs, wing hugs, wing hugs, wing hugs
Like Vaggie, won’t Actively hold you for long
But will let you cling onto him for however long you need
Tries to stop you from hugging anyone he deems “too fucked up”
it’s literally just alastor ffs
Nifty
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“OhohohhoHOHOHHO of course!!”
Literally scales up your body like the little gremlin she is
Basically just rides on your shoulders
Probs tries to steal something from you (hair, etc) for her “friends shrine”
It’s a lil creepy, but well intentioned
If you’re (un)lucky she’ll make you a crown of dead bugs
Sir Pentious
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“From me?”
Babes is so confused
But not unwilling
“Of courssse my dear friend!”
Tbh really touched that you trust him that much
Gets the egg boiz in on it
Probs starts rambling to you about his newest inventions
Is the type to forget he’s hugging you, and just continue on as usual and get confused when his hands are full
Beloved dumb bitch
Alastor
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“No :)”
I’m sorry y’all but he just Won’t
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sociopathicartist · 5 months ago
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hii. I rlly love ur page! I was wondering if u could do some more romance headcanons with UT Sans? Could u include things such as making out/kisses, hugs/cuddles, etc! and some more fluff, js cute silly little things in the relationship <3
hey! thanks so much for requesting, of course i can add those in:3
Undertale Sans (random drabbles) romance headcanons.
Hugs & Cuddles -
Sans loooves cuddling. His favorite cuddles are always the standing-up ones, where he’s either behind you with his arms around your shoulders while you cook, or write, or vice versa. He just enjoys getting to be all wrapped up with you while one of you is just doing normal and daily tasks. Bonus points if you’re tall enough (he’s only 4’11, so…) and he can just dangle with his hands wrapped around your neck while you walk around the house to get stuff you need. He likes to give you company, and he likes having your company, even whenever neither of you is saying anything.
He also likes hugs, to him they’re pretty similar to cuddles, but just a bit shorter and are great for goodbyes or happy hellos. Sans isn’t a big fan of the short and quick hugs though. He always likes them to be tight, warm hugs that you both hold for a long time because both of you are just enjoying each other's embrace. He hadn’t hugged many people other than his brother, so getting to hug you all the time is always enjoyable.
-
Making out -
Despite having no lips, and giving you his little skeleton magical kisses that feel like warm and cozy bumps that send little sparks down your spine, Sans has always been a fan of making out. He just relishes feeling your warm, soft lips up against the large surface area of his teeth (chunk ass smile). While it doesn’t send magical twinges and little sparks throughout him (like his do to you) since you’re not a monster, he just enjoys the fact that you like kissing him. It’s also nice to get you so close and listen to you mumble words to him in broken sentences throughout your kisses. Sometimes he’ll peep a little ‘hey’ or will say something silly to make you laugh while you’re busy making out since he can talk through his teeth without having to open them up or anything (he only does that if he peeps out a tongue, but he rarely does that unless you ask since it’s a lot of work and it catches you off guard).
He’s just a really big fan of getting to kiss all over you, or vice versa. It’s also just funny to listen to your giggles or laughs whenever he leaves a little kiss somewhere ticklish, and he’ll very often just kiss you in the middle of your sentence or out of the blue since he couldn’t wait anymore. (poor boy, it’s been 5 seconds since his last kiss…) Sans likes to just constantly swoop you close to him for a kiss anywhere, and usually when you’re not expecting it. There’s nothing that he loves more than hearing your laughs and seeing your pretty smile.
-
Conversations -
I’ve mentioned and joked about this before, but this man never shuts up. I mean, ffs, in the game his dialogue is always coming one after the other, (which is good, ily sans), so when you both are alone together? He is always blabbering about something. Flowers he saw today after work, something he took a photo of because it reminded him of you, what videogames he’s been playing, what’s been on his mind recently. He’s always asking you questions too whenever he’s not storytelling. Just things to keep you entertained and engaged in the conversation, other easy questions whenever he’s already asked about your day.
‘baby, babe, look at this. i picked it up on the way home, let me tuck it into your hair.’
‘you know what that is right? lemme tell you really quick.’
‘we’re going over to toris later this week for a halloween party with the rest of our friends. what matching costumes didya want to do, babe?”
-
Hobbies / Routines -
Sans didn’t have too many hobbies before he went up to the surface. Other than work and occasionally reading his science books or talking to some of his friends, he was a bit too de-motivated to do anything. To him, there was no point in learning a new skill or fun hobby to occupy his time if his timeline theory was correct and all his progress would be set back to zero.
But holy shit did he eat up getting into a little routine with you. He loved it whenever he could just send you a text and you immediately would know that he wasn’t in the mood to cook and just wanted Grillbys. He loves getting to wake up whenever you do and eventually drag him out of bed, and getting ready for the day next to you in the bathroom, with a few odd or silly glimpses whenever you brush your teeth despite your lips making it harder since they’re in the way.
The simple routine of just getting ready together, eating breakfast while talking to each other (and lunch if you’re both off from work), and sharing about each other's days while one of you cooks dinner has become so easy for him. He used to not be a fan of falling into a routine, but he likes the comforting and domestic one with you.
Since his self-behaviors have been improving significantly with dating you, he’s taking back to some of the old hobbies he had before he gave up on them in frustration or negligence. Sometimes you’ll sneak on him and find him reading one of his old physics books on the couch, occasionally snickering at the puns he’s making up in his head while he reads. Other days you’ll find him in the kitchen cooking or baking, both things he did for Papyrus all the time whenever his brother was younger and he was raising him, and sometimes the two of you will sit down together and play silly card games or time-consuming board games.
He’s in love with you more and more every day, he just has to finally get rid of the nagging habit of keeping the ring he has for you tucked in his pockets, waiting its turn to rest on your finger.
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journey-to-the-attic · 8 months ago
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hello!!
i just finished reading chapter 50 of jtta and oh my gosh. i don’t even know where to start.
jtta is SUCH an amazing work of art that my words fall short.. it’s rlly the best fanfiction i have EVER read and i’m sure it’ll continue to be my Number One forever. your writing style is absolutely beautiful and your choice of words is IMMACULATE. the way you describe certain scenes truly baffles me everytime like,, there’s people out there who are really able to write like this?? they can magically plant a mental imagine w colors and all in my head from??? Words only??? u r so amazing omf
i also have to say that ur work has rlly helped me with expanding my own vocabulary — i had to look up a A LOT of words (though i’m sure i forgot them all by now..) but it was always so fun to learn new stuff!
your mind fascinates me sm bc?? when i was reading some scenes from jtta i rlly thought ‘man.. if i was the author i’d have no idea how to solve this..’ but u managed to surprise me every. single. time. u outdid urself each time and my jaw legit dropped at some scenes bc i could’ve NEVER EVER thought of that,,,
i only discovered jtta last summer bc i was looking for a platonic obey me ff (i can’t see the boys romantically to save my life 😔) and ur writing was rlly the best thing that ever happened to me.
i swear everytime i read another chapter i dived into this World bc ur writing is so????? Perfect??? i cant put it into words
idk how many times i repeated myself by now but i just wanna give u this BIG word of appreciation (even if im struggling w it LOL) for everything. your characterisation of all the characters was always SO on point and the pacing of the chapters always elevated the reading experience and and and i’m just so overwhelmed by the quality of your work 😭🫶
and when i found ur tumblr??? oh i was FLOORED. like. not only r u absolutely GIFTED at writing, ure also good at drawing???11!?1? the writer & illustrator combo is INSANEEEEE
jtta got me all wrapped up in this universe that whenever i went back to read other obey me work or play obey me itself, i got sad bc the newspaper club and ik weren’t there 😭
normally i’m sad about things ending, esp when i indulged in it over a course of time but with jtta all i felt was a warmth (oh and the tears…..) in my body, it rlly couldn’t have ended better!! jtta made me elict all sorts of emotions while reading and it was just such a wonderful experience!
i feel like i just want to say more to u and sing more praises for u and jtta but i’m just at a loss for words,, my mind is COMPLETELY blank :c
writing is definitely your superpower and i’m forever grateful that i found your work!!!!!! T__T <3 can’t wait to see more of your work in the future 🥹💝
i need you to know that i had to look away multiple times consecutively just to compose myself because aAAAggkj
from the bottom of my heart, thank you!! i don't know what else i can say, everything you've said means so much to me! messages like this make everything about creating so worth it, all i can do is thank you twice <33333
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odukora-lore · 14 hours ago
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Hi Mykz! I wanted to ask something about your story titles, what would you say is the meaning behind all of them? As in, what does it relate to in-universe, what's the irl inspiration, all that?
LMAOOOO okay this is rlly fun tbh, ngl this was something I was sortaaaa gonna ramble in a recording but then didn't end up, but this is honestly something I somewhattt keep track of in my blorbo notes draft so I somewhat remember them at the tip of my tongue
Either wayyyyy
The Eternal: Fallout - ngl TEF went through a shit fucking load of title changes ffs, veterans would know Egg™ (that's a story for another day) but the main predecessors before it would be A Fault in Time and Brotherhood, AFIT is basically like, hinting at Atch fucking up the time travel lmao that's pretty much it, my memory is kinda blurry on that one cuz it's been a shitass while, it remains as a title that I still rlly like til this day thou that's just unfortunately thrown into the outdated pile, Brotherhood was like, a hint towards it Rin and Jingle's bond (Rin was the protagonist lmao, but again this is another rant for another day), and some sprinkles of the Tree Fam conflict (the earliest version of it anyway) so mainly between Oak and Birch
TEF itself is funny af thou cuz like, I kinda don't recall the exact moment I even settled on it unlike POE??? I think I was just playing around titles and shit, I'm soooo sooo sure The Eternal as like, the tragedy™ is a thing for a while thou, and iirc it mainly stemmed from the concept of, okay yeah ppl keep disappearing for an infinite amount of time, an eternity, it's the eternal™, but hell I can't say for sure lol, I do vaguely remember me settling on fallout cuz one of it's meanings were *the aftermath*, so basically TEF is like, the Aftermath of Mountain Expedition Gone Wrong (in non lore terms lol)
Paradigm of Empyrean - THIS ONE is fun cuz I didn't even come up w the og titles lmaooo, the oldest ver is Mysteries of Naru (for a shit while it was called MON), but like, kinda meant as a series I think, but idr either cuz I didn't wrote crap lol, I do know it's supposedly a trilogy though, the pipeline going Paradigm of Immortality -> Sealed Fate -> Fortress of Time (almost forgot the last one wtf I had to dig my old blorbo drafts), and then as I won the custody war™ I figured I wanted it to just be the one story™ cuz there's too much unknown lore for me to make it into an expansive series, at first I just figured I'd combine it so Paradigm of Fate was the placeholder title for a while before the actual revamp™ last year where I expanded further on the constellation and afterlife shit, the empyrean as a place wasn't rlly a thing not until recently iirc,
But the most fun part abt all this is the unintentional lore connections, cuz paradigm can mean *pattern* and empyrean can mean *sky* so essentially Patterns of the Skies, aka constellations lmao
Again a lotta shit for my main stories are extremely lore heavy so the titles kinda don't make shit sense unless you know what's going on
Anyways onto the supporting stories™
Swan Feather - this one is relatively simple lol, EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU BLACK SWAN ORCHESTRAL VER FOR BIRTHING THE VERY CONCEPT OF DULCET anyways I've rambled abt this quite a lot on my ramblez acc but swan feather was made when I was basically lost™ on wtf to do w TEF tbh lmaoooo, TEF was basically in like heavy revamp era and I was kinda getting pissed and mildly losing passion over it so I just figured fuck it I'm gonna make a whole new story™ to focus on while that remains in shambles for the time being, and then at the time this miraculous mv was released around the same time and the rest is history
I can dissect everything even further but it'll take up half of this damn page atp lmao, but a lot of the swan feather concepts surrounded passion I suppose, Heron and Dulcet were basically reflections of that, w Tang initially wanting to become a warrior out of passion but eventually got obsessed w wanting to be acknowledged and climbing the ranks he just straight up lost who he is (quite literally even), the Eclipsis Empire is sorta a shorthand for trading yourself away to achieve an empty dream that you sought to achieve but losing your very initial drive to pursue it in the first place, Heron initially only fighting cuz he was put on a pedestal to fight but now he has to for the sake of his bloodline, he fights w passion of wanting to defend all he has ever known, that is what intrigued Dulcet, mf basically saw a coward but then a coward w the kinda effort and dedication that he has not seen since forever and purposefully does not kill him from the get go just to see how far this mf can go lmao
A lot of Duclet's graceful dance esque fighting style was inspired by the orchestral ver itself tbh (alongside the quote at the beginning of the mv), I'd be stuck in car rides and imagining an epic fight scene™ and then going hell I need to make a story of out this shit and then it happened lol, forever extremely extremely pissed there's no official release on Spotify, the amount of mfs I'd maul to get that on there to make the perfect SF playlist ever™, but tldr I lost passion but a song abt losing passion made me reignite passion to make a story about losing passion and gaining it back
Sundowner - this is again kindaaa the kinda shit I don't remember lmaooo but tbh sundowner wasn't even supposed to be a story anyway cuz it remained a joke for the longest time, but I still figured it deserved a title so I know wtf I am talking abt when I am talking abt the story lol, I think I just went digging up aesthetic sounding words that are fairly dark sounding and related to illegal things™ and found sundowner: "an alcoholic drink that is drunk at around the time the sun goes down", but then also "a tramp arriving at a sheep station in the evening under the pretence of seeking work, so as to obtain food and shelter" which somehow fit the whole tone of the story lol, esp the latter one cuz majority of ppl affiliated w Budgie are honestly just looking for a means to *survive* through the mess, in some sense its the Budgie Enokie dichotomy within a single title lmao
The Sun is a Star - I'm pretty sure I came up w this on a whim aswell tbh, TSIAS isn't as old as the other stories ngl, like TEF has roots in 2018, same w POE iirc, SF and SD are kinda 2020 esque things, TSIAS is like very late 2022 and early 2023 I think??? TOI has roots in 2018 too lol I'll rant abt that in that section, anyways for a while I didn't even bother expanding it into a full fledged story cuz I was just mainly toying around w the Skyble dynamic lol, in fact Cirrus and Vinca were from entirely separate stories (I don't talk abt them enough lol but they're in the main lineup if u check the site, it'll be a ramble for another day thou), before I decided I'd merge them cuz I wrote a joke esque snippet between Marble complaining to Vinca abt crushing on Skye over the phone lmao
Again it's one of those stories that almost became a tertiary story before I scrapped the notion altogether lol but it was lore heavy enough to be on the same lvl as SF and SD, the title is pretty much a hint towards how the team is mainly researching stars to be used as solar energy equivalents lol, basically the origins of stars as raw magic life forces plays into this, and I just wanted a simple catchphrase esque title that included the concept
Tales of Iridescence - this one is also rlly rllyyyyyy fun cuz the shit is like TOI has roots in 2018 for being a story I came up w a friend on Animal Jam lmao, initially it was called Friendship Tales™ (cliche af but can u tell the mlp influence), but then yeah that's the shit, it was abandoned for a rllyyyyyy long time tbh lmao like Tropiciana lvls of it's extremely unlikely I'll ever revamp this again but then suddenly Magical Girl Obsession™ and then I realize how much the concept fitted a magical girl one lol, figured I wanted to keep the Tales part of it as some way to preserve it's og vibes (like the way I did w POE), and then thought abt like shiny rainbowy things lol, Prism/Prismatic was so close to being in the title tbh but Iridescence rolled off the tongue better
Anyways onto side stories 🔥
Faldeigh Street - this is again another one w funny origins lmaooo okay so the og og og og ogggg ver of this was Where Time Meets, again roots in 2018 (damn I just kept writing shit back then), basically a cliche romcom esque story tbh, I've had so many instances of wanting it to become lore heavy but I just can't bother giving up the cheesy fluffy vibes it always had so I just left it be, Where Time Meets was a part of some trilogy esque thing thou (but then not rlly either they're meant to be sorta separate, the lineup was basically Where Time Meets, Stand by You, Wings of Dawn) but the characters eventually meet to go on this big glowlin origin adventure™ (obviously scrapped lol), this was gonna be the supposed tertiary story I kept ranting abt before TOI was a thing tbh, cuz I just wanted my old main cast to go somewhere (how TEF replaced my old main cast is another load of shenanigans lmao)
But eventually I found it too nostalgic to even make any major changes, for now it's kinda in development limbo cuz there's alotta shit I'm trying to settle, initial title rlly is just me attempting to sound poetic as a preteen tbh, like ohhh where time meets, where these ppl meet at a specific time and cross paths (aka why it was extended into where time meets destiny eventually), cuz the gist was like Maca (the protagonist lol) helped her dad run a cafeteria and then every evening around closing hour there would be this mysterious guy™ that would show up and buy coffee and coffee only lol (another ramble for another day) but again I felt like the title kept sounding rlly lengthy and lore heavy for something supposedly light hearted so I just renamed it into something simplistic like Faldeigh Street (aka where the story takes place lol), actually on second thought it'll be fun to name it Faldeigh Street: Where Time Meets Destiny as some call back anyway, like oh it's this place where ppl cross paths at a specific hour, hm I'm suddenly liking this lmaoooo
Cupid's Serenade - THIS ONE again its sorta like SD having the Budgie Enoki dichotomy this is basically between Angie and Azalea lol, Angie mainly has a cupid aesthetic and Azalea mainly has a siren aesthetic, I was 🤏 this close to naming it Cupid's Sirenade as some sorta pun but idk it looked more like a mispelled word from afar without the context lmao, again this is another one of those stories that didn't have a title for a shit while until I came up w it onna whim
Cabbage Peak - another one I came up onna whim lmaoooo so many of these titles are just me going I need a title what could work and then slap it on there as placeholder before okay this works, but then yeah cabbage peak is just me trying to find a funny ass farm land esque name, the kinda shit you'd name your stardew farm, it's intentionally reeking of stardew tbh just mildly sillier and more absurd for the vibes™
Weather Headquarters - this shit probably has roots in 2016 or even older lmaoooo but like, idk if I named it weather hq back then, I knew Cloud Island was a thing thou, iirc it was named Cloud Island lmaoooo and the weather hq was more so the actual organization (like OWL and ORCA) that did the weather bs, pretty straightforward one tbh
Homecoming - I haveeee dumped abt this so I won't ramble too much but tldr it was a TEF sequel esque thing and the concept hinged on the victims going home™ and then Lio's whole thing of going home and then Atch's whole thing of finding home among the mortal realm and Aichi returning to Naru after presumedly millenia, suddenly I realize the actual actual first ever usage before TEF was conceptualized was actually the Truffs alien AU when Corondale was on the fcking moon and it was essentially the story of Asteria attempting to bring the rockrifts back to earth LMAO that's a whole other shit for another day
All the Days had been Sunny in Tropiciana - again another rlllllyyyyy fun one, Tropiciana has always been a thing tbh like Friendship Tales lol (I think they're even from the same era), basically wanted a tropical island sounding name and my preteen ass was extremely creative™, it's basically the name of the island where the og cast had a summer camp on lol (current ver actually has them live there), anyways this one is interesting cuz again I've always wanted like, a rlly rlly long title for the absurd joke affect, it's just a funny trope I've seen around and I wanted to pull it off, and then I got reminded of like this one attempt at rewriting an old Tropiciana ch, iirc I was on my Good Omens spree™ at the point in time, and the book is known to start w "it was a nice day, all the days had been nice", so I think I started w it was a sunny day, all the days had been sunny, or something, I don't remember tbh lmao, but that's sorta the shit I eventually went w, ig there's also the indirect influence of it's always sunny in philadelphia but I've never seen the thing and only heard of the funny sitcom esque title and it reeked more like sundowner from the looks of it lmao
Anyways that's that, can't believe I ranted for like an hour straight lol worth it, first ever blorbo inquiry answer is fifty pages long 🔥🔥🔥
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kinjkihu-s · 2 years ago
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Spoilers for ep. 8 and cw warning for csa mention🚨
Random thought III. I’m definitely not the first one to be saying this or anything, but w/ David’s episode dropping last night i am once again obsessing over how tlou presents love through side character vignettes.
So far we’ve had:
Love in the form of a father doing everything he can to protect his daughter on zombie outbreak day.
Love in the form of an old gay couple finding peace in the mists of the apocalypse.
Love in the form of an older brother willing to kill a whole revolution to get medicine for his younger brother.
Love in the form of a sister willing to destroy herself and everything she’s built in pursuit of avenging her brother.
Love in the form of community.
Love in the form of two estranged brothers.
Love in the form of young crushes and puppylove
Then ep. 8 comes along and here's a guy whose whole stick is abt twisting love into something awful and vial to fuel the flames of his sadism. And Ellie — not Joel — is the one to face this head-on. Mind you, right off the heels of her flashback episode where the audience sees her at her most innocent and carefree.
So Ellie confronts it. She has to. Because she loves Joel, it’s love in the form of a not-daughter doing all she can to protect her not-dad.
This is the first time she’s been directly exposed to this kind of senseless violence and brutality. David wants her because he can have her, because he knows that he’s physically stronger than her and a hell of a lot crueler. Ellie was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
It’s “love” that he’s twisted into something so hideous and so unrecognizable and so terrifying and cruel — everything that love shouldn’t be.
And Ellie's loss of innocence at the hands of this "love" is enforced by Bella Ramsey's incredible acting (give them an Emmy for ffs). Even with David dead, she doesn't stop bashing his head in, she can't.
Cause I mean, yeah. It's the desperate, terrified actions of a little girl who's already been conflated violence with justice and safety being pushed to her absolute limits.
obv. she's totally in the right here. fuck david all my homies hate david. but, at the same time, it's showing what she's capable of when being pushed to that extreme. all that fear and anger and sadness and rage that's been festering in her since riley (and probably for much longer) absolutely has the potential to become destructive. it's a rlly good set up for season 2 me thinks.
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nxzz-skz · 10 months ago
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FIRST EVER FF
so im not rlly good at writing smut or anything like that saurrr im gonna try for the first time
Pls feel free to leave tips and stuff for me cuz like i need help 😭
SUNGHOON FF~
When he pretends to be ur bf in front of ur ex (this isn’t smut btw im not ready to write that yet 😢)
Reader has a crush on sunghoon
(I’ll be addressing the reader as y/n)( fem reader)
Btw i love Yeonjun sm i just thought he kinda seems hot being the playboy type ( no hate pls 😭)
Y/n pov:
~Ughh why can’t i get at least one day off from the mess that my life is. I want to just bury all my stress underground and keep it there so someone else can be buried in it one day. I hate school so much! 😭
But one thing i don’t hate about school is my love 😍 , the only person i would ever come to school for.
Well i mean the boy who doesn't know i exist, Park Sunghoon..
Ugh pull yourself together y/n I can’t believe you were actually thinking about him that way. You have school to focus on right now, so there’s no time to be thinking about your classmate like that!
As i was looking at my timetable to see which class i was off to next, someone harshly bumped into me from behind, stepping on the heel of my foot and I hissed in pain. I whipped my head around furiously to see who decided to dampen my already miserable mood.
“Who the h…”
I was at a loss for words when meeting eyes with the supposedly blind suspect who clearly didn’t see me walking in front of them.
I thought i was dreaming but then again nothing good ever happened to me and i realized that this was the beginning of my worst nightmare.
It was Yeonjun, the boy who had broken my heart after chasing after my best friend whilst still being together with me.
I despise him, and never wanted to face him again but clearly fate was very much against me today. I vowed that once i was dead i would fight whichever god or superior being that was making me deal with this bs.
Author POV:
Y/n was extremely shocked and taken aback when coming face to face with her ex. But as well as being shocked she was more so pissed off with that fact that she had to face him after two months of successfully ignoring and getting over him.
( Yeonjun and y/n has lasted for 1 year, and they were the schools hottest IT couple, but they had to eventually break up due to the fact that Yeonjun just couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. They unfortunately left it on some negative terms)
Yeonjun smirked, seeing his cute little ex looking enraged in front of him.
He was never actually interested in her, only playing with her feelings due to the fact that most guys wanted her, which wasn't surprising as she was marked as the ‘cutest girl on campus”. He had no regrets in toying with her, especially after he’s now got her ex-best friend trailing after him like a lost puppy.
He looked y/n up and down with a sexy smirk and let out a low whistle.
YJ: “Long time no see darling. Looks like you’ve matured quite a bit”
Y/n instantly felt sick and uncomfortable and backed away, knowing that he was just a playboy and didn’t mean anything he said.
Y/N “ What are you doing here? Why are you talking to me?” She spat out instantly.
More students were filing into the corridors and classes were about to start soon, so y/n just wanted a quick answer and to then dash over to her next class.
YJ “ Well, good news for you, you wont have to miss me anymore as im moving up into your class”
Y/N “ Stop lying, you’ve already done enough of that with me in the past”
Silence fell between the two and y/n widened her eyes, slowly realizing that he wasn’t taking the piss.
Y/N “ Well, g-good for you” she stuttered, trying to run off and pray that he gets moved back down as soon as possible
Y/n sighed in disappointment whilst walking to her locker. She just wanted to spend the next year focusing on her studies with no distractions but now she has her ex being the centre of her attention every day.
Wondering how long she had left till her next class, in dire need of a coffee, she looked at her watch and let out a loud gasp.
Y/N “ Shit! Theres only two minutes left and my class is on the other side of campus” she exclaimed with a cry, and started running to her next class. “ How am i going to get a seat next to him now 😭!”
She quickly held on to her books tight whilst running the 50 mile sprint all the way to her next class. She couldn’t miss the chance to grab a seat next to the love of her life!
Y/N POV:
Oh god, I’m late, where is he?
I scanned the room but Sunghoon wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I guess I should just get a seat before people try and sit next to me.
I bagged a window seat as i was in dire need of some fresh air. And settled down, leaning my head on my crossed arms.
‘I need to refresh, especially after that chaotic encounter with Yeonjun’
I-i…can’t be seen with him flirting with me, especially infront of Sunghoon.
I closed my eyes hoping to get some rest as for some reason the teacher still wasn’t here, when all of a sudden the girls sitting behind me started squealing with joy.
I guess ‘ The Great Ice Price Sunghoon’ has finally arrived.
Of course i wasn’t the only one who loved him. Girls were dying to be with him and boys were trying to be friends with him left, right and centre.
Sunghoon entered and one girl fell to the floor and started fake sobbing.
Damm that girl was sick.
Girl: “ Sunghoon.. help..please..someone pushed me! “
Sunghoon just walked right past her without batting an eyelid
Yep that’s my boy…
I was smiling at the scene when i felt someone’s gaze on me and i made eye contact with Sunghoon.
All of a sudden his eyes drift towards the vacant seat next to me and he strides towards me while maintaining eye-contact.
My breath was stuck in my throat and i was mentally repeating the mantra ‘y/n act cool, y/n act cool’
Fuck.
Y/N : “ Hey Sunghoon! I didn’t see you there!’
Shit why did i say that, he literally made EYECONTACT with me across the classroom.
Sunghoon smiled a tight-lipped smile and pointed at the chair beside me.
SH: “ Umm..hey y/n..is this seat taken?”
Hold up. Was he asking…to sit..next to..me??? Of all people???
Y/N: “ ohh y-yeah o-of course it’s totally empty!”
I was mentally cursing and screaming at my self for stuttering and praying that he hadn’t noticed.
SH “ okie thanks y/n”
And he sat down while taking his books out of his bag and laying then on the desk.
Oh god he is so gorgeous, i need to stop staring before he notices but it’s too difficult to tear my gaze away from his beautiful face.
Ugh stop staring y/n….
AUTHOR POV:
Y/n was continuously staring at Sunghoon, not realizing that he had eventually noticed…
He smiled knowing that she was admiring him and continued to pretend to read his book.
SH: “ Am i that good-looking?”
Y/n was startled as she was snapped out of her trance. Her cheeks flushed bright red from embarrassment and she attempted to hide her face by looking away
Sunghoon turned his head away from his book and turned towards the flustered y/n.
He chuckled at the fact that she had turned into a strawberry just because of him.
SH: “ So was something bothering you? Is there something on my face?”
She decided to ignore his smart comment and tried to change the subject.
Y/N: “ uhh…no….anyways have you finished the maths assignment?”
SH: “hmm not really..it’s half done but i still need to finish the research part.”
They made light conversation for a while, chatting about school work and their friends groups, when the teacher had finally arrived and the class started.
TIMESKIP
(Pretend that y/n is reading a very popular book)
Y/N POV:
Class had ended and i stayed behind for a while to finish up some work, but when i entered that cafeteria, Sunghoon was nowhere to be seen.
I grabbed my lunch tray and scanned the room in a search to find somewhere to sit. It wasn’t that the room was full, it was more like I was looking for him or for somewhere where he would sit next to me.
Finally my gaze landed on his table and all his friends. I started to make my way towards it and I noticed he was sitting with a few people I hadn’t seen him with before.
Y/N: “Hey Sunghoon!”
Sunghoon swiveled around to see who it was.
He beckoned me towards his table with a welcoming smile on his face
SH: “ Hey y/n, come take a seat!”
I suddenly stopped in my tracks when the person sitting next to him turned around and flashed me a wide Cheshire Cat grin.
It was Yeonjun.
I quickly sat down opposite them, and he gazed at me with a mischievous smirk. I had a gut feeling that something about this was very odd.
SH: “ Oh yeah, y/n, this is the new guy wh-“
Sunghoon was then rudely cut off by Yeonjun
YJ: “ Don’t worry we’ve met before..”
I hate this guy so fucking much.
Sunghoons eyes were darting between me and Yeonjun.
SH: “ oh so you guys know each other already?”
YJ: “Oh ye-“
I instantly cut him off, not wanting him to ruin everything for me.
Y/N: “Oh yes, babe! I remembered him from when we used to go elementary school together this morning!”
I knew exactly what i was doing and it was working. I saw Sunghoons eyes widen and Yeonjuns smile falter a little.
YJ: “ Babe??”
Y/N: “ Oh yeah! Meet Sunghoon, my boyfriend”
I scooted closer to Sunghoon and linked my arm through his, whilst smiling up at him and hoping he would understand what i was doing.
I was so in love with him that I was happy with fake dating him just to get rid of my ex who would be in the way of me making this real.
I could see that Sunghoon was still in shock and i tried to mentally send him an apology.
SH: “I-“
Y/N: “ Well i hope you can excuse us Yeonjun, but me and my boyfriend need to go out for work, so see you around i guess!”
I hoped that Yeonjun would finally get the message and leave me alone once and for all.
I took a hold of Sunghoons wrist and hurriedly dragged him outside with me. He was still in visible shock, especially after we had just left our lunches there.
We reached an empty classroom and i took a deep breath before apologizing to him.
Y/N: “Sunghoon, I am so,so sorry! If you would listen I promise I had my reasons!”
Sunghoon didn’t reply but instead slowly moved towards me until there was barely two inches between us.
SH: “ Care to explain your reasons?”
My palms were sweaty and my knees were on the verge of collapsing due to the intense closeness between us.
I gulped.
Y/N: “Well the thing is, he’s my ex and ever since he moved up into our class, he just wont leave me alone”
Y/N: “ We were together for quite a while but we were clearly never happy. I never liked how he would stare at other girls and flirt with everyone who ever spoke to him, and he was way too possessive over me. In the end, he ended up blaming it all on me since i was the one with a pretty best friend, whom he couldn’t take his eyes off”
Sunghoon calmly and attentively listened to me rant about my past toxic relationship.
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow and his eyes filled with concern
SH: “ So Yeonjun is your playboy ex? And he was with me just to get to you?”
Y/N: “ I-i dont know about that for sure, but im pretty sure he’s only talking to me just to make me relieve these horrible past memories.”
I looked down whilst have a visual representation of those horrible time filling my mind.
Y/N: “Please Sunghoon, just pretend to be my boyfriend when we’re in front of him, and i promise I’ll do whatever you want me to”
I was desperate to cut Yeonjun out of my life. I wanted to never have anything to do with him. Even if it meant having to try and hide my true feelings for Sunghoon.
Sunghoon took a moment to think about it as i was anxiously waiting for his reply.
SH: “You..you will do whatever i say??”
I nodded eagerly.
SH: “ How long would we have to pretend for?”
Y/N: “Hmmm..not long, i guess until he finally gets the message and decides to leave me alone for good”
SH: “Fine I’ll do it but im only telling you what i want after we are finished”
I was filled with joy after the fact that he agreed but i was still a bit nervous thinking about what his condition could be that he wouldn’t want to tell me now.
Besides, I shouldn’t be nervous since now that we had both agreed to it, I wouldn’t give up until i had forever gotten Yeonjun out of my life.
SH: “ We just have to pretend to be a couple right?”
Y/N: “Yup, and we have to make it believable. By the way, are you sure you dont have any problems with this?”
SH: “ No not really, i just want to get you out of this mess”
He then pecked my nose and i was left feeling very taken aback. I could feel the blood rushing toward my cheeks and my whole body filled with warmth.
Did he really just do that even though he already knew how nervous i was before???
I could feel my face turning red and i was in a desperate need to get out of there before he could see.
Y/N: “L-Let’s go..”
Sunghoon chuckled at my stuttering and followed behind me.
TIMESKIP
(Y/n and sunghoon have left the classroom)
AUTHOR POV:
After Sunghoon and y/n were done with their conversation, they headed towards the basketball court in order to spend their free period there.
Unfortunately, Yeonjun clearly had the same idea.
Yeonjun waved at Sunghoon, and y/n tried to make her escape when suddenly a strong pair of arm encircled her waist.
Sunghoon smirked and whispered in her ear.
SH: “What about our plan, babe?”
Y/n was blushing and Yeonjun started to walk towards the “couple”
YJ: “ Where did you two run off two after lunch? We couldn’t find you anywhere”
SH: “ Oh you know, just spending some quality time with my girlfriend”
Sunghoon then hugged her body firmly against his.
Y/n was a blushing mess and was mentally telling herself that there was nothing wrong about her “BOYFRIEND” touching her.
Yeonjun was clearly uncomfortable with the sight in front of him and excused himself whilst walking away with a sigh.
Y/n immediately removed herself from Sunghoons arms as she was about to mentally die.
Sunghoon also suddenly stood up straight now feeling flustered after not knowing what came over him during those few moments.
They both looked away from each other, not knowing that one of them was in love, but the other one was now falling even harder.
ENDING
Authors note:
I’m not really good at writing very romantic stuff but i am currently trying for anther story and I’ll see if i will release it. I’m going to end it here and ig u can use your imagination to see who confessed first!
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wonjns · 1 year ago
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helloo idk if you are the type of writer to do this but seeing how youve been posting ffs' since a while back now this makes me want to ask you hehe (cause of experience?)
so uh how do you plan out stories? like as a person myself ive never really find male reader stories that is in my style so i decided to make stories myself TT
i specifically want stories that are heavy in angst (thats why i said in the beginning if you are the correct writer for this). how are you able to plan out angsty stories? how long do you plan to write the introduction and when is a good time for the introduction to shift to the other parts? and when is the perfect time for the climax of the story?
you don't have to answer fully detailed if you don't really get what I mean TT but if you are able to include some few general tips then I'd appreciate that <3
and also sorry if this is kinda weird and time-consuming to ask 🥹🤞🏻
awhh hey there!! i feel so honored that you felt i was worthy to ask this LOL. im so happy to hear we’ll have another writing joining the ranks <3
im so sorry if i disappoint, but i rarely plan things out,, which is actually rlly bad if you plan on taking writing a little more seriously 😭
i’m not the best with the angst at all, i think i’ve only written it like once/twice and it was kinda bad each time — but i would say in terms of planning it out you would want to begin with identifying an inciting incident!! aka, figure out what you’d want your pain “problem/conflict” of the fic to be, and then decide how you want to introduce that problem, if that makes sense.
if we’re talking about timing, i would say my average fic follows a movie’s structure. i believe stories overall are received best when you use what i guess i call the “sandwich method” LMAO,, which is:
fluff > introduction of conflict > actual conflict > resolution > fluff
basically meaning i usually start my stories (the few that have plot 😭) off with good vibes, and then descend into the root of the issue, and then once your reader/character resolves the issue, it obviously ends in a happy ending lol.
however, every writer is different and every story is different which is what makes it so much fun!! considering you really like angst, you could start your story MID-conflict to be honest, which actually grabs the average reader’s attention much more often. whereas the climax of the story usually takes place near the ending. you could also explore sad endings!!
im not the most qualified to give this advice but i figured i’d just share my thought process a little bit!! i’ll have been writing for a year come the end of this month so i’m still pretty new & have lots to learn!!!
if anyone has any beneficial advice for our friend pls drop some comments :)) i wish you the best of luck writing and hope you fall in love with it <33
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akoyaxs · 1 year ago
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BLAZING TOUCH EXCERPT
Hey so I know I've been a little inactive with writing lately bc I've been having rlly bad writers block- but my need to respond to every single fucking comment on my wattpad has lead me to rereading a lot of my writing and I actually really like this chapter from Blazing Touch so I thought I might share it to help tie it over until I can finally post my new ff.
For a little Background: it's about Kiri's twin (an OC called Akoya) who goes w them to the reef and its a little enemies to lovers with Aonung. In this part, Kiri's gone into her seizure (the plot kind of follows twow) and Akoya's so worried for her twin. Also Khalo is their friend from the Omatikaya clan <3
It also switches POV
Hope you enjoy pookies and click the link on Blazing touch if you want to read more
━━━━⊱AKOYA POV⊰━━━━
"What?" I say, pulling out of the trance-like state I must have been in and looking back at my mom. 
Neytiri is crouched in front of me, worriedly studying my face, and I realise several tears are sliding down it.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes," I say quickly, which must just be a reflex at this point. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Mom moves closer to clasp my hand.
"My child, you can tell me. What is going on with you? Are you missing the forest? Is it Kiri? Is it Aonung?"
"No!" I say loudly. "I'm... yes. I'm just so worried about Kiri. She's my twin."
"Of course, Koy," Neytiri says, smoothing my hair. "Norm is on his way. Your father called him-"
"Norm?" I ask incredulously.
"Yes," my mother says, rolling her eyes.
"But what if he can't fix her?" I ask. "They're all just humans and they can't do anything. She needs to wake up Mom."
"Oh come here my child," Mom says, pulling me into a tight hug.
I let her embrace me for a few moments, but when I pull away, she speaks again.
"You have to go outside now. You've been cooped up in here this whole time, and people want to see you."
"Who?" I ask suspiciously.
"You know who," mom says, and she pushes me outside before I can say anything else. 
And of course, I have to run straight into Aonung. 
He must have been waiting outside, and he instantly reaches out to steady me. I push his hands off and move away quickly, careful to avoid eye contact.
In a hazy memory, I recall the last time I saw him I had cried horrifyingly embarrassingly and he had held me tight while I tried to fight my way to get to Kiri.
No one ever saw me cry, especially not annoying, infuriating, handsome skxawngs that make my life so hard and need me to protect them all the time.
"Akoya, wait!" He calls after me, but I tuck my hands and tail in so he can't grab anything as I move onto the beach.
"What, Aonung."
"Are you alright?"
"Why?" I say, turning to glare at him.
"What?" he says, and I'm a little shocked to see the hurt in his eyes as I wonder his intentions.
"Why do you care? What do you want?" I shout, hopefully far enough along the beach that it won't carry into the village.
"You know I care, Akoya," Aonung says, so softly I could almost imagine it.
Eywa, I hate when he does this, giving me the sweet, nervous look that makes everything melt and makes me not want to hate him anymore. But I do, because everything is too confusing and hatred is the only way I know how to cope.
"But why?" I ask desperately as he moves closer, trying to get me to look at him.
"Because it's you Akoya," he says.
What does that mean? 
And maybe he understands my confusion, because he keeps talking.
"Because I can't stand when you cry and I hated seeing you like that. But it was okay because it was just me. I told you, Akoya, you can't disappoint me."
His hands find mine, and I realise that as he was talking, they had relaxed out of their little fists and intertwined with his much larger ones. 
"I hate that you saw me cry," I whisper, staring down at our interlaced fingers. "No one ever does."
"I hated that you were crying," he whispers back, and I feel his eyes roaming all over me from his considerate height. Has he gotten ever taller? What is that sound?
There is a faint thrumming all around us, a familiar sound, and I gasp.
"Norm!"
"Uh, what?" Aonung asks, cocking a brow at my exclamation, but I pull away and grin up at the sky.
"What is that?" Aonung asks, staring at the helicopter. 
Dad is running towards it, where he guides it to land on the landing strip. Norm hops out as Aonung and I sprint towards it, when I recognise the other figure moving out of the helicopter.
"Khalo?"
Sure enough, he turns, my... friend from the forest. His smile is so familiar as it stretches across his face at the sight of me. I let out a squeal of joy and leap onto him, and he hugs me back just as fiercely as I wrap my arms and legs around him.
━━━━⊱AONUNG POV⊰━━━━
Something spills, all hot and blazing and scorching inside me as I watch Akoya light up with joy at the sight of the other guy. I study him.
He looks our age, only a few centimetres shorter than me. He isn't quite as thin as the Sully's, more muscular and solidly built, and I guess he's a warrior like Akoya and Neteyam. 
Then Akoya leaps to hug him, and it all explodes inside me.
The sight of her legs wrapping around him as she buries her face in his neck and laughs is sickening to me, and I can't bear another moment of this blazing feeling.
But I know it's jealousy, and it is impossible to overcome as the skxawng's arms encircle her waist and she whispers something unintelligible into his ear.
"Hey," Neteyam barks at his sister, and I feel some sick victory as they finally break apart. 
Neteyam moves over to do some sort of handshake with the guy like Jake did.
"Hey bro," Neteyam says.
"What are you doing here?" Akoya says, still smiling broadly. 
Why is she smiling? How come she smiles so much for him?
"I've been helping Norm and the other scientists lately, and I thought I'd help-"
"And you are?" I ask, glaring slightly at the guy as he turns to me.
"This is Khalo," Akoya says, flicking me with her tail as an indication to be nicer.
"Hey!" Jake barks at us, his expression fierce. "Help take some of this stuff up to the village!"
We move off, carrying the weird machines and gadgets that Norm and Khalo had brought with them. I help Akoya, taking a heavy machine out of her hands and walking beside her before Khalo can.
"Is that your boyfriend?" I ask, definitely not sullenly.
"No," she says, laughing and shaking her head. I study her for tells of lying, but I don't see any. "Why would you think that?"
"Because that's what Kiri said, the day of the party," I say, relieved as the memory comes suddenly flashing back to me. 
"When?" Akoya asks, cocking her head.
"Don't you remember?" I say, nudging her. "Kiri said 'you are such a maneater' and you said 'no I'm not'-"
"I don't sound like that!" Akoya snaps indignantly as I change my deep voice in imitation of her. 
"Anyway, Kiri said you were dating and you went hunting and sparring and cooking-"
"Oh shut up you skxawng," Akoya says, rolling her eyes. "I think you're just jealous."
"Jealous?"
"Yes, jealous," she smirks.
Eywa, how does she always manage to do this. To point out every exact emotion I feel and say it with such knowing, smirking grace that it makes me feel all nervous and blushy and not at all like how an Olo'Eyktan should feel.
"So what if I am?" I ask, and I can see that my change in direction takes her by surprise. 
She wasn't expecting this at all, but before she can say anything else, we reach the hut, and the somber, nervously expectant air around it instantly kills any conversation or any hopeful hint of flirting I might have accidentally let into my mind.
Eywa, when did I become so reliant on her?
I don't enter the hut with Akoya, Neteyam and Khalo. I wait outside with Rotxo, both intruders on the family grieving waiting. Nothing happens for a while, when I hear Akoya shout.
"It's not doing anything. Do something! HELP HER!"
"Akoya calm down," Jake is saying, and Neytiri is trying to pull her away from Kiri.
Without thinking, I run straight into the hut to her. She's kneeling beside Kiri, glaring around at everyone in the hut.
"HELP HER. Norm, do something."
"Akoya," I say, reaching for her, but not touching.
My heart aches for her as she stares blankly down at Kiri, and I crouch beside her. She turns slowly to me.
"She's not waking up," Akoya whispers, leaning in.
Without thinking, I wrap my arms around her, but surprisingly, she doesn't pull away or hiss at me. Instead, she buries her face in my neck and exhales shakily.
"I don't know what to do Aonung.
"Get my mother," I call to Rotxo outside. "She is Tsahik."
Mom takes her sweet time making it to our hut, and Akoya is verging on a nervous breakdown by the time she enters the hut. I see Ronal survey everything, and she speaks.
"I see that I am not needed here," she says, turning to leave.
"Please," Akoya says.
I think for a moment that my mom won't listen. Akoya isn't anyone to her, but maybe my mom knows what she is to me.
I see her eyes flick to Akoya and I on the floor, her tented comfortingly in my arms, our tails intertwined, even though I never remember how they got that way.
"Remove these things," Ronal says, gesturing to the weird machinery all over Kiri.
"Wait, I haven't finished taking her pulse," Norm protests, but Akoya opens her mouth.
"Out, you have done nothing!" she roars, and they all jump and scurry out.
"I should go too," I whisper, pulling away from Akoya.
I think for a moment that she'll protest, that she'll want me with her, or maybe I let myself be hopeful, but she nods and releases me.
I wait outside again. I can sense Rotxo's knowing smile from the way I had comforted Akoya.
"What bro," I say, when his smile still lingers.
"You really like her, don't you," Rotxo says, grinning at me.
"Why wouldn't I?" I ask, smiling stupidly, which I try my best to squash. Unsuccessfully.
"She's not like the other girls you've been with," Rotxo says. "I think she likes you back."
"Really?" I ask, and I can't help grinning like a little child. Why am I such an idiot when it comes to Akoya?
"Yeah," Rotxo says. "She always liked you, but she hid it a lot better than you did."
"Hey," I protest. "I hid it just fine."
"No, but she was just clueless. The rest of us knew, we aren't stupid."
"She is a bit clueless," I say, shrugging. "She doesn't know. I don't know why, but I just can't tell her. She won't listen to any hints, and she's just so incredibly stubborn."
"Exactly," Roxto says, smiling again. "You're perfect for each other."
I can hear cries of joy from inside the hut, and I recognise the small tinkling laugh of Akoya. It strikes the strange fluttery feeling in my gut when I hear it, and my own heart starts pounding fast.
Rotxo nudges me, and from the expression on his face, I know what he's about to say is important.
"You have to tell her bro, especially with that new guy back, Khalo or whatever his name is."
"You think she might like him?" I ask, scowling.
"I'm not saying he's a threat, but if you can show Akoya how you feel, the sooner the better. Trust me bro."
"Alright," I say, smiling. "What's your plan?"
"Tiwaìn is having a bonfire tonight. Invite her."
As I listen to Rotxo ramble on, my thoughts simply wander, yet stay stubbornly fixed on Akoya.
On the way her body curves and hair falls and face scrunches and crinkles all cutely and adorably and gorgeously when she laughs. On the way she buries her face in me, and how her breath felt against my neck and hands on my arm as she let me comfort her.
It's humiliating and strange and intoxicating, the way all I want is her. I just want to be near her and breathe her and touch her, and I would give anything, even my future clan position just to hold her like that again.
━━━━⊱A/N⊰━━━━
Okay hope u enjoyed my tumblr pookies and I'm so sorry that its taking me so long to write, I WILL get everything to you soon I've just been overrun lately <3
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ayyponine · 6 months ago
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much like last year i got to enjoy some studio visits this weekend B)
(commentary in addition to description linked to each photo individually)
started out fresh w an art gallery (1, 2, 3) w some cool, colourful, eclectic and playful pieces on display. made a quick stop at work to say hi to a colleague i hadn't seen in a while before making my way to
my second location and biggest must-see (4, 5). Had a nice chat w artist who saw me look at one of her canvases frm the side so she was like lol do you paint or smth. bc i recognise how you're viewing these works when i go to a museum i do the same exact thing. I loved getting her perspective and a glimpse into her work process even if it's so different from mine idk it was cool! There was a whole collective of lil art studios scattered about the building surrounding a courtyard so i also entered a diff place and look. they were all about making zines. a group of ppl was chatting and making em. so i entered and was like hi ja sorry i kom ff binnenvallen maar ik weet niet goed wat er..... te bezine valt. which instantly made me cringe so hard i was ready to leave but the girl leading the workshop seemed thrilled to have me and explain the setup even if internally i was still like oh god why am i like this rip. i think i missed out on some more ateliers but mostly bc a lot of the artists were gathered in the lil courtyard having drinks and chatting and i was too intimidated to ask fr info or be spotted looking lost like some IDIOT so on i went rip.
quick stop at kids clothing shop which always cheers me up it's so whimsical and i want their stuff fr
Then onto 6, 7 where they had some cool stuff fr sure but the location was such a cramped and cluttered old row house and i had already spent my whole day walkign around in a T-shirt so especially trying to navigate around other visitors this was just not it babes. i moved on before having seen it all despite being interested bc i just needed to get tf out.
Managed my good deed fr the day when i spotted a confused looking older couple w a wheeled suitcase and personally guided them to their hotel
THEN on to this hidden lil atelier where i also went last year + attended a grand total of 2 life drawing sessions in the months after. again while arriving i was faced w the distinct feeling of having barged in on a private party of artists all at a table sharing a leisurely drink on a dreamy sunday afternoon rip BUT. the artist i talked to last time/followed the drawing sessions with was there, still knew me by name and made some small talk to help me feel welcome what an absolute gem. he even proposed i sit w them at the table & hang out fr a bit, when i said like hmm thank you but to just join up w a group of friends who all know each other it's a lil daunting he even said like but i know them, and i know you so its all ok :) i was internally like cool. i would takea fucking bullet fr you btw this is totally fine and i can not believe you are still willingly talking to me, the single most embarrassing person to ever exist in the world
anyway i did not accept the offer to stay fr a while but did chat w some of the other artists which was again super cool, to get more info on the diff works on display. they seem like a rlly sweet and charming collective of people and i wish i didn't feel so ashamed of myself so i couldve spent more time with them all but aint that the way. debating atm whether i should sign up fr another life drawing class or if the guy was only being nice bc he felt obligated and would actually prefer i keep my flustered and off putting vibes tf away from his personal and professional work space idk.
anyway. i had the wrong address so almost missed out on my last visit but in the final hour it was still possible i did manage to find the last location (8, 9) w an exhibit on themes of europe, durability and the meaning of home. there was a really cool piece on trees & difficulty in their sap stream where you could touch a chunk of wood and feel clicks resonate through a speaker mounted on the back, a glass installation on koekhappen re: jumping through hoops fr resource accessibility & probably my fave: the audio of welcoming messages. esp smth about the french speaker was so warm idk there seemed to be genuine relief in the confession of "je suis tellement heureuse de te voir, que tu m'as manqué" which also btw. god ive always loved that expression. ive missed you you have been missing FROM me or smth more in that direction of semantics i. insane
then biked on to my moms again to get some got damn. peace and quiet. and a cinnamon roll w vanilla ice cream <3
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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NO THOUGHTS ONLY SHADOWBRINGERS HFALKDSJFASLKD
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#sorry my head is like . ffxiv. yes. empty. just ffxiv.#i love love love love themes w like. apocalypses? the world ending wtvr yk. HDLFKAJDLFKS.. SHADOWBRINGERS. IS. SO.#okay i cld ramble on n on about each of the expansions n they're all equally special to me but i want to ramble about shb rn#i started ffxiv during shadowbringers so the expansion is. yeah. YEAH 🥹#emet-selch.. he's srs my favorite antag ever. maybe hermes too if he counts idk but they're not necessarily cruel 'villains'#they're so human they're so goddamn human n it touches me so much i love them they own my heart#listening to ffxiv ost just gets me like this thank you soken thank you to the ffxiv team i love you guys so much thank you thank you#eulmore ost w. pain in pleasure & indulgence & masquerade. THE DEVELOPMENT FROM THE START OF THE GAME TO ENDGAME#IS SO GOOD. I LOVE IT. n then grr i love songs w yk the waltz yk or rlly just stuff like this so much it's just so pleasing to my ears#it sounds like heaven. n then. the scenarios it brings in my mind! i love fantasy worlds so much they mean so much to me#huh. realizing once more i rlly like a lot of charas that end up destroying the world one way or another. or wanted to or smth#sephiroth. lucilius. n yh emet-selch & hermes as i mentioned.#i cld ramble on so much abt emet-selch oh dear help me i'm still not over the 'angel of truth' thing n then. azemet T_T#azemet srs is like my otp. or uh. idk a lot of ff pairing r my otps#AZEMET. THE ANGST. hdfjasdlkf emet w azem n hyth hehe his friends r so. chaotic canonically. emet probably doesn't look the part w#idk bcs he looks so grumpy n old lol but he's rlly so kind at heart 🥺 i'm sorry i'm head over heels he's so ugly /lh i love him#ffxiv ost just has this. oh my god. it's so good. it fits so much w just every aspect in the whole game n i'm not exaggerating at all#when i say i know them all so well by heart. i could ramble for hours n days on each song in the whole game n what they mean to me#i love. ffxiv so much. the recurring themes n the way they tie stuff up together is just smth i've always loved nn#ffxiv's story was smth i looked for my whole life before finding out abt the game? idk the game rlly just means so much to me#one day. one day i'll create something of my own. smth like what ffxiv means to me but.. smth entirely my own.#goddamn i'm genuinely still very anxious n nervous abt the future. n like this year yh but. i'm even more excited.#i want to do a lot i. i want to reach out to tomorrow. i want to reach my dreams!!!! i'll reach. even further. forge ahead#help it's 1 am wnvr it's later into the night i usually end up rambling like this huh.#don't mine me i rlly just like writing n i talk to myself often 😭 i'm a bit tired for other stuff tonight but.#thinking of. stories or wtvr just refreshing my mind. i love ffxiv so much :<< all these stories mean so much to me..#yk what i'll just do more tmrrw i just want to take this time rn for myself#hdjfaklsdf i love music. n video games. n stories n idk just all of it just HDLFKAJSDLF.. i'm so in love w them all i just appreciate it sm
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wifiwuxians · 10 months ago
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quick aside for my moment of befuddlement because ive always misunderstood the idiom "like a house on fire" LOL. i always thought it was a passive aggressive way of saying "dude, we would destroy each other lets not talk" so when i first read that I was like ??? context??? doesnt match??? did they misunderstand the idiom? DID I? then i googled it and you're right lol its a nice thing. (tho now i wanna put that in a fic bc i think that would be a delightful misunderstanding for characters to have). IM SO GLAD I MADE UR FUNK SLIGHTLY LESS FUNKY THO. you're great and you're super sweet ;w; if i had more self-confidence, i would definitely jump at the opportunity to befriend. maybe when i get more gutsy
BACK TO THE SONG LAN HATE THO. im sorry, im still in shock. just HOW. also..... how is my interpretation of them not the common one??? again, i stay so strictly to my lane i didnt know other lanes existed and i definitely dont want to hear about it bc i think song lan hate would hurt my heart. it already hurts my heart sometimes when i see xue yang hate and XUE YANG DESERVES IT. literally i despair at media literacy sometimes. i absolutely cannot understand how anyone consumed the same content as we did and decided to be mean to song lan.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY A FAVORITE ARTIST, DUDE. have you fucking SEEN your stuff?!? like, are you as blind as xiao xingchen? (my sweetie, may he forever regain his sight). your art is GORGEOUS. absolutely worthy of being a fav artist and i am sure im not the only one. for starters, your pieces always have a depth to them that sets them in a scene so freaking beautifully EVEN WHEN THERES NO BG or even in your more simplified styles. when you come out with a "silly phone doodle of xue yang", i see the freaking SKILL needed to make THAT adorable lil gremlin as just a 'silly doodle'. like BRO, youre so skilled that i think youve lost depth of how good an artist you really are. i wish i was smarter with art words so i could tell you in color theory exactly why your colors are so beautiful but im dumb and all i know is "color pretty" BUT SINCE I CAN PORTRAY STUFF WITH WORDS SOMETIMES i'll try to just express how your colors alone can evoke emotion and tell a story, how you use the contrast to make your art pop off the page, the way that the colors caress a scene and show so much more inside. its beautiful, your art is beautiful, i can look at a piece for such a long time and still find interesting details that make me smile. oki i'll stop beng weird now but like NEVER DOUBT YOU'RE FREAKING SKILL BRO. (shit i didnt even get to how your animations just break my brain oeuihgo i love)
lolololol dw abt telling me about the cannibalisms piece, i look Specifically disrespectfully at that one. not big into cannibalism but damn dude, there is a Mood to that piece and frankly, something that messed up sort of suits them on their worst days euorhgioeurh i like me a fluff au or a fix-it fic but damn those two can get Dark.
My otps are often rarepairs ;A; i never do it on purpose, im normally jumping headfirst into a more popular ship but then i just See the potential in two other lil guys and im like.... holdup, wait is no one else seeing those two??? AM I THE ONLY ONE WITNESSING THIS? (yes, yes i am). And the hyperfixation begins and its just me alone at a bar with no bartenders so i make my own food. but im a weird lil guy so my cocktails are always strange and im alone at the bar lol. tbh songxue is one of my LESS rarepair rarepairs. like... theres actually fics that i didnt write for them LOL. (there was one fandom where there were 40 fics for a ship and i wrote all 40. i am a sad and lonely lil loser lol)
(scuse me one of my fav artists said they think i'd write my otp well, i can die happy oaierhgoeirh i actually do write ff for songxue but hahaha im still just a silly anon but its rlly good to know that the person i think characterizes them best in the fandom (that ive seen) thinks i would do a good job with them aoeghuihr thankyou for the high praise, i guarantee i dont deserve it)
(sometimes i've wondered if the reason you draw/write them so well is bc you dont ship them? weird take but like, shippers have shipping goggles right? we see what we wanna see a lot of the time. but since you just think they'd be neat standing next to each other (much agree), you actually put thought into their characterizations and personality instead of just "this is how they'd F*CK" or smth similar. and bc the personalities and stuff mean way more to me than sexy stuff (thats the whole reason i ship them! their personalities!) the fact that even your crack stuff has such a good basis in who they are as people makes your content just so good. whereas sometimes i see content by shippers (no disrespect meant, everyone ships in their own way), its very actively ooc, usually for a kink fill, and im just... but what abt their personalities? what abt the whole reason i think they'd be good together if given the chance?! WHAT ABOUT THEM? and then u come around drawing them like that and i just wish more people portrayed them the way you do. this isnt meant as like an anti-smut thing, i like smut, its just that sometimes pwp is just two strangers who happen to have the character names of my blorbos and literally nothing else in common and theyre my BLORBOS. more power to people who like that stuff, i will stay in my lane and bother this poor lovely person who doesnt even like the ship but is kind enough to see their potential to be pals cuz damn im in it for the emotions)
heh heh yeah it means we'd get along well but i like that interpretation too and think it would make a great story!! here's to you becoming more gutsy! (though again you're very free to use an alt or something!)
genuinely why i don't go looking lmao... song lan fans are so fucking strong to have to deal with the shit people have said BUT nowadays the climate seems to be a lot better :D i see lots of thirst for him at least KFHKDJ and my appreciation post of him has 800 notes so that's hopeful at least! but same i don't get it at all (though honestly i will say a lot of character hate stems from shipping. legit.) but yeah regarding xy hate for me it's gotta be for the "right" reasons LMAO
LJHLFHFD ALL THE COMPLIMENTS MY BRAIN CANT TAKE EM!!!! genuinely!!! THANK YOU!!!! i do often tell myself 'your stuff doesn't have to be perfect it just has to spark joy' to feel better about not rendering a piece to hell and back and mostly taking the lazy route, though this year i really wanna branch out and try more! but all of this has shot me in the heart... emotion to me is the most important part of art, and one of my favorite responses to get is laughter, and you don't need a 4K HD piece for that haha BUT LISTEN YOURE NOT WEIRD EVERY ARTIST I KNOW WOULD KILL TO HEAR THIS im gonna frame it. but after ive printed and eaten another copy like wow you think i set the scene ;_; will cry (agsjdhf sorry i really do read everything im just. PROCESSING!!!)
ahaha yeah for sure! i do love me some cannibalism (i am the cannibal friend) but absolutely that was just intended as a very dark place. song lan has Had it (the premise was xy thinking hey, he likes me, let me remove the nails i am sure everything will be fineOHNOOO)
oh dude i have chronic rarepair disease. most of what i ship is stuff i've come up with myself so any content is me + 2 souls maximum who i have managed to drag with me and make content KSGKFJ (case in point, xuechao) i just have this compulsion to do what nobody else has done
(you do deserve it! and dont go looking i wanna keep being the one who portrays them best :p)
and hey maybe because YES!!!! my work almost exclusively stems from personality oh my god thank you for acknowledging that i think that is the highest praise of all... how their personalities gel together is SUPER important for me, shipping or otherwise!! i'm telling you you and i would get along really well since we agree on the fundamentals i think! like yeah there's nothing wrong with some good old self indulgence but ooc takes me out of stuff a fair bit, and trust me i feel like most people would think MY stuff is ooc! but the thing about the strangers with blorbo names made me laugh so hard lhKDHJAfhsg i am so guilty of that in the past, i've read my old stuff and i'm just like damn. i just projected onto these dudes. NO MORE (it is bound to still happen privately but hey, ultimately, write what you want to read)
song lan and xue yang, in the 'if given the chance' realm, have exactly my favorite type of duo dynamism which is why i cannot stop drawing them lol like some funky spin on boke/tsukkomi... generally speaking ">:D -_-" is visually my favorite thing to draw haha and again! i wanna say it's not an all-out global dislike, i just a) understand most people are NOT coming at it from where i am so it doesn't interest me/makes me sad, and B) understand WHY people wouldn't be into it. because wow. um. ouch. that sure is some shit
i am gonna take a moment to plug an author i think you might really enjoy, pomegranites on ao3 (@pometogo on here!) ! i can't speak for Every flavor in there being to your tastes but there are definitely a fair few fics that made me bonkers, namely not easily let go, written for song lan love week :D
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lonesomedotmp3 · 2 years ago
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this is so embarrassing <3 but would you happen to maybe possibly have a merlin (2008) fic rec list beloved mutual..... not nearly enough fic writers get it like my beloved mutuals do
i can assure you that is absolutely not even close to as embarrassing as it is to have devoured any and everything the merlin fanfiction world has to offer. i have read aus that you would not believe. i have been subjected to characterisations and headcanons that would make anyone else instantly close the tab. i have read authors with such a poor clumsy grasp of british slang i could weep from embarrassment. yet i persevered. for MONTHS. and here is what me (and beth <3) have managed to scrounge up after all of that. please use everything i've just said as context that we were NOT in our right minds reading these. proceed with caution
tributes - the! hunger! games! fic!!!! iconic legendary spectacular THEE revolutionary turnaround for the merlin fanfiction game and for the horrors generally. do NOT go in overhyped tho me and beth went in like haha what a cool weird au and then it caught us off-guard that it wasn't written terribly. also good for something longer and about much more than just merlin and arthur. it's fr like watching the show again for better and for worse. it's got camp whimsy it's got our main duo acting like complete freaks it's got this constant suffocating sense of inevitable tragedy... slayed!
history books forgot about us and in dreams - by the hunger games writer so u know it's actually written well!! don't read their other stuff tho just trust me. my memory of the first one isn't great but i remember feeling with both that finally FINALLY someone Got the finale like me + beth did. short but just rlly solid satisfying follow-ups to the show.
the court of avalon - freya + arthur best friendism in avalon realest shit ever said!!! makes me go fucking crazy fr. YES this has way too much magic lore bullshit to it and i don't careeee they're my friends.... and FINALLY a proper post-finale fic where they don't just freeze arthur in time for 1500 years...
to the point of fear - slay little mordred character study!!!!
the world i built for you - the disir fix-it!! smth i have always wanted due to being sooooo Normal about that episode (arthur's matrix. if u even care). not perfect but worth a read for sure!!
long title and also long title - i rlly like established relationship fics. sorry for being cringe and boring some crimes can never b forgiven etc.
like clouds in starlight widely spread - ok the rest of these i'm going to copy/paste from my list for beth sorry <3 but if i've already written a little deseription for each one why give myself more work yk. anyway: sad and wistful and A Lot as someone who was about to move out of my hometown when i read this. if i said it chapter two vibes. actually that doesn't mean anything ignore that. at one point arthur goes "are you trying to tell me something?" and merlin responds with, "i'm always trying to tell you something." which uh. he really is huh. it's whatever though.
fundamental imperfection - merlin and arthur as writers, gets their first meeting right (arguing and being dicks, then immediately becoming obsessed with each other). don't remember much else except the sequel is unfinished heavy angst and i cried like three times. don't read that (+ HIGHLY positively peer reviewed by beth. tell us a story about love!!!)
as long as we have we - i know you've read that fake marriage christmas fic which i love a lot (maybe it has problems but it's just so endearing...) and this is the same vibe. or well it's christmas and it's sweet so
(and said xmas fic: no matter how far away you roam <3)
tintagel - i don't know how i feel abt merlin and arthur in this but the parallels made to ygraine and nimueh are just too insanity inducing to ignore. my price is my life yours is to bear witness.... they wrote that in 2009!!!! insane
ok that's a lot + it's the best merlin ff has to offer. which is still not that great but. enjoy!! + b thankful you do not have to go into the hellscape that is the merlin ao3 tag...
kingdoms - i have no memory of this tbh but i wrote 'yeah.' underneath the bookmark so it's gotta have something
sorry edit one more I forgot - merlin and arthur are exes and arthur is just soooo weird and sad and repressed about it. also peer reviewed 🫶 (X) and also check out beth's merlin fanfiction recs tag if for some insane reason u want more. ok bye 🫂
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yourgentlegirlfriend · 2 years ago
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hii,, pls dont let the hatenons get thru u and make urself doubt abt how u write. no one has the right to make someone feel sht for doing something that they want to the things that they do,, like how u write the characters in a story. and ffs if they think ur making someone ooc? then they havent seen any prompts in their entire life. no matter how goody or hell of a villain the character, therell always be prompts that makes the character(s) ooc. and like what? say all of the authors stay IN character, wouldn't that just be bland asf?? this place is a plothole for fanfictions, FANFICTIONS. so why not get wild with ur imagination?? go ham because u have the will and right to just do that. isnt it cool to see other self depiction and perspective of any characters that u fancy??? like, "oh no! what if santa was all seriousness and no laugh and blah blah blah" wouldn't that be fun to see and be explored and talked or whatever. and before that hatenon use this in retaliation, "that's santa not blah blah blah" god i hope that u have the brain to be able to analyze that its an example. dont they have any creative idea??? (i mean u can practically see the answer to that). and please, ure right when no one writes RE without going out of character, have they seen the domestic written fics FOR WESKER???? tell me anon, do u THINK that WESKER would be any like that??? or like that?? the closest thing he'll ever be to "domestic" is when involving with a woman in the sheets but then again, purely and only for his own benefits and nothing more (you'd be lucky if he doesnt kill u after all that). hes the most ooc out there in RE imo when written in fanfics bc people dont stay and write him in character bc people already see and know that and thats why and what makes him ooc here. hes literally the biggest example youll see,, my god. im not saying no one had written fics without going out of character, but they make it sound as if u did the most horrible thing by going ooc. and its literally easier to just not bother themself interacting with ur works if it doesnt sit right with them,, that easy. no need to be an ahole and spread sht just bc it doesnt cater u. go write one for urself then bc not all authors write only for us people out there, they also write here for themselves so naturally, youd see and read things out of ur taste. and tbh the og charm and personality of the characters arent lost and not that ooc to me yknow.... they're still them and just like what u said, not everything's to a T when it comes to writing someone,,,. i mean i just enjoy everything yall write bc thats how it should be done here. enjoy and reciprocate to the author
oooookkkay,, this is my piece of mind, and i need to calm down cuz holy sht i just literally woke up and seen this, u having hate anons again. i did not open this app just to see u be drag down. idk man, i feel protective of anyone who encounter this. bc why make someone as miserable as u?? im just tired seeing people being dckhead to someone minding their own business and life,, plus i rlly like u and ur works (⁠ ⁠´⁠◡⁠‿⁠ゝ⁠◡⁠`⁠)
sorry im anon too SHAKDISH but maybe i can be pancake anon eh? (im craving one rn 😋) fufufu, please have a good day and week and dont mind these kind of people. believe in u and ur capabilities as a writer and author here. we really appreciate you :))
hi pancake anon i love you and you stole the words right from my mouth.
Chris and leon have so much trauma i doubt they even have time to think about women it’s FAN FICTION. for a reason.
people get pissy at me for writing about the older men i head canon and i DONT GET IT
love u sm pancake anon thank you
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astrxealis · 2 years ago
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seeing ffxiv so popular makes me so incredibly happy but i'm still >:(( bcs damn the philippines has no taste at all /hj
#seeing exactly two or so people at the mall looking at the xiv shirt at uniqlo made me so giddy like hey look another knower / liker of the#critically acclaimed mmorpg im supet in love with !! and we've gone to like. 2 or 3 malls by now and visited uniqlo. still ... only them#in general tho i hate that the only shorts u'll find in person malls are 6 7 8 10 13 14 15 16#LIKE HELL YEAH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH but hey i love the others too okay :(#i dont want to live in the U.S. in the future but a part of me wants to knowing that ff is much more famous there#it just means a lot to me okayyyyyyy TvT#speaking of which everytime a friend who isnt super into final fantasy series tells me HEY IMA PLAY FF !! i honestly wonder oh my god which#/nm HELPFOWJWKFBAJJE but yeah that makes me happy happy bcs ff makes me happy hehe#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#rambling went off track but typical astria /pos WHEEZUEHWHFHAI#nah bro ppl can rlly do what they want its perfecrly okay nothing wrong w that /gen#i just rlly wish that i had friends my age who play xiv and maybe even from the philippines !!#i have. exactly 1 KRHEIAHDKSHDKA (sho u dont have tumblr but if u ever aee this ily bro /p)#i do know i have like uhhhh 3 other friends interested tho. HELPFOAHDKANS but sho rlly the goat bcs bro also actually got into gbf too#and we've only known each other since just ... march ?? feb ?? so damn. ✨ pog#help idk what im talking abt anymore but yeah#pls dont read this as like me subtly saying yall shld play ff /lh HEPLPJEKFNAK like damn fr thatd be super great but i just wanted to ramble#hehe#i def shld be more active in the community n all ... !! i have a static but theyre all adult guys . even if they all have female characters#LMAO like idm turning on my mic if ever but nah im shy and its. yeah. theyre funny n great tho /p#lowk miss twintaniaaaa TvT my friends there from eu r mostly not super active anymore except for 1 ?? and a few others again >:O but ye#timezones suck n all but i think its great we're mostly still able to yeah ... !! not to mention they checked up on us when w the elections#if anyone says online friends arent real fuck em honestly WHEEZE okay bye
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