#i rise from the ashes to say i forgot about something

[rcdfcxr]

deadass forgot I made these banners... which I have not yet used.  (:  remember when I used to joke about me being an actual snail?

[midnightsslut]

Since you’re so good at connecting songs (I’m still in awe about how you made me realize that atw and illicit affairs are about the same subject), what is your most big brain/audacious/out there theory/connection about Taylor’s songs?

first of all, thank you! i have to say, I’m not the first one to get the idea that there are parallels between those two songs, but I’d never really sat down with them line by line. this ask really got me wondering because i feel like there are a lot of parallels I can think of but idk how out there they are. here is one that i don’t see people talking about a lot:

coney island feels like the other perspective of the story in you’re losing me, especially when you consider that taylor asked matt berninger about writing songs that deal with their own relationship issues with his wife. of course, coney island and you’re losing me were written at different points in their relationship, but the sentiment appears to be the same.

this got long, so I’m putting a cut here.

first of all, here is how taylor described coney island in her evermore interview with zane lowe (around the 37-minute mark)

The perspective I was coming from was like a male perspective of regret or guilt after a lifetime of apattern of behavior, and i've been kind of touching on sort of things like that on the song tolerate it where there's this person one side of the relationship who's felt like they've just… Their partner's been there, but they haven't *been* there. They've been there, but they're just sitting next to each other, eating breakfast, but they haven't they haven't been there […] I really loved writing, ‘we were like the mall before the internet / it was the one place to be.’ I was trying to reflect on the coney island visual of a place where thrills were once sought, you know, a place where once it was all electricity and magic, and now the lights are out, and you're looking at it, thinking ‘what did I do?’

‘break my soul in two, looking for you, but you’re right here’ —> ‘you say “I don’t understand,” I say “I know you don’t”’

‘and if this is the long haul, how’d we get here so soon?’ —> ‘how long could we be a sad song before we’re too far gone to bring back to life?’

‘did I close my fist around something delicate? did I shatter you?’ —> ‘my face was gray, but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick.’

‘over and over, lost again with no surprises / disappointments, close your eyes / and it gets colder and colder when the sun goes down’ —> ‘i’m getting tired even for a phoenix / always rising from the ashes, mending all her gashes’

‘what’s a lifetime of achievement if I pushed you to the edge, but you were too polite to leave me?’ —> ‘fighting in only your army, frontlines, don’t you ignore me / I’m the best thing at this party’

‘do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?’ —> ‘and the air is thick with loss and indecision’

‘will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?’ —> ‘now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time’

‘the mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams’ —> ‘remember looking at this room? we loved it cause of the light’

‘sorry for not winning you an arcade ring’ —> ‘choose something, babe, I got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me’

‘did I leave you hanging every single day?’ —> ‘every morning, I glared at you with storms in my eyes’

‘did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray a universe away?’ —> ‘my face was gray, but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick’

‘and when I got into the accident, the sight that flashed before me was your face’ —> ‘now you’re running down the hallway / and you know what they all say / you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’

‘but when I walked up to the podium, i think that i forgot to say your name’ —> ‘don’t you ignore me, I’m the best thing at this party’

you’re losing me is key to the entirety of ttpd, really, so this gives us the ability to draw parallels to sooo many songs on the album. coney island is a goldmine actually. no wonder she’s mashed it up with so many songs on tour.

my next post will be connecting right where you left me and chloe et al whenever I get around to it (to be clear, I don’t think they’re about the same person).

[a-dreamersjournal]

In My Death, I'll finally Live.

I hold my breath, still as stone, hoping to vanish into the shadows of the room— an object, unnoticed, unasked for, left behind. And to every question about why I linger here, my only answer is, “I’m nothing. Someone set me down and forgot me. Pay no mind; I only take space because I must.”

I am like a ghost’s breath on a winter window—there, and gone in the same heartbeat. I am the whisper of a song you can’t quite recall, lingering only in fragments of a forgotten melody.

If I could, I’d give myself to earth. I’d dissolve into rain, seeping into thirsty roots, coaxing life from cracked earth.

If I could—if only I could—I’d make myself useful in my death. I’d become the morning mist, rising to greet the dawn and kissing the hills goodbye. I’d be the last ember of a dying fire, holding on long enough to warm someone’s hands before fading to ash.

I would offer every last fragment of myself, letting time and the earth dissolve me completely, so that in my death, I might become something greater than I ever was in life. Perhaps then, even if I lived as though I were already gone, in the end, I could say that in my death, I was finally alive.

[robinregulus]

The truth about ASC Scorpio

is that you are only a mystery to others because you are a mystery to yourself. You write Tumblr posts (public journal entries) in the second person. The Scorpio question is emotionally, what is mine and what is yours? Everyone experiences this question somewhere in their charts, but for you, it is in the very way you are perceived.

Personally I don’t like being perceived.

(Mind you I have Neptune in 3h Aquarius square ASC. All words should be enjoyed with a grain of salt.)

To your peers you are a subconscious threat. Or maybe you made that up because you have become so jaded. There is something dark, twisty, and subterranean about you — and people fear the unknown. In their posture, Scorpio risings are described as “hook-like”: tall, a prominent nose, hunched shoulders, and oh the eyes… what lies in their depths? In most lights, mine are pools of black. But at golden hour they glow golden-brown. I am learning to stare unabated.

Aquarius rules the IC, your roots and your very core. Mommy Cancer, the fourth sign, is the traditional ruler here but I think the fourth is distinctly not-maternal: it’s the home and foundation you inherit from your ancestry, ie your forefathers. In contrast we are nurtured (mothered) into the people we become, ie the legacy you leave behind, ie the tenth house traditionally ruled by Daddy Capricorn. Your MC is in Leo. You are, in fact, meant to be perceived.

All this to say—

something is fundamentally different about you and from where you come. Among your peers, you exist on the periphery. 3h Capricorn: in childhood you are silenced in someway, either by your siblings or classmates or culture. Within your family you are the Aquarian outsider: the black sheep forced to be impartial. Belief in common good becomes your coping mechanism.

With 8h Gemini (home of my Saturn) transformation is found in expression; I, you, we, me. How do you feel? That feeling… is it even yours or did you borrow it? More often than not someone projected it onto you. In you, people see what they most dislike about themselves. Remember: their inner alchemical gold is not yours to give. They must learn to get it back themselves.

6h Aries: the sex planet rules your self and your routine. Your daily life is warfare. Where is Mars? — his burden is a heavy one. Find him and take note of what aspects afflict him. His energy is going to be in your life one way or another and it is better used constructively. 12h Libra: peace is your undoing. For you it is a foregone conclusion that you will never achieve it. Try anyway.

I am actually in the bath as I write this. I fucking love bathtime. I float, I wash, I am baptised.

Anecdote

When I was very young I remember waiting for my mother to come wash my hair. I waited and waited until I was shivering, listening to the sound of her vacuuming, knowing she would come eventually. After maybe an hour she finally walked in and said, “oh, Juju! I am so sorry! I completely forgot!”

All-knowing I am hidden but always watching. I am a snake, a scorpion, a butterfly, an eagle, a phoenix. I am earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I am fixed water, autumn at its height, death in bloom. Can the child in my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well I have been afraid of changing. Nowadays I am just tired.

What is left but to lay down your arms?

[bibibbon]

Hello!

I've seen you like JJK and was wondering if you've seen this Sukuna meta it's pretty interesting.

https://www.tumblr.com/zuzu-draws/748361728295927808/so-after-the-spoilers-for-chap-257-dropped-i-saw?source=share

Hi anon 👋

Thank you so much for recommending this meta for me it was really eye opening. I have always noticed that gege used this idea of hunger and consumption as an extended metaphor for sukuna throughout the story but that meta highlighted and explained it so beautifully.

Sukuna's habits are his flaws and also the whole hunger and consumption metaphor is Hella ironic and contradicts sukunas character in an interesting way. Sukuna has long given up on the idea of wanting to be human or trying to mimick them. However, during his fight with jogo in shibuya he did admit that he saw and understood the appeal, however he came to the conclusion that strength and true power can only be gained through solidarity. Sukuna believed that he can only grow by burning everything that opposes him or he doesn't like but that doesn't mean that sukuna doesn't crave human interaction. Oh he totally does but he receives human interaction in odd ways like torturing and eating them.

I find it very interesting how one thing sukuna cant get really bored of us humans. They always manage to suprise him from the way they act to the way they taste. Sukuna has stated that every human tastes different. Gege again using the extended metaphor of hunger and consumption makes sukuna say this to show sukunas quite unhealthy way of interacting with things and how he honestly has come to mirror the childhood he lived. In all honesty sukuna may see consuming a human as the most merciful thing he could do to someone and it may be true considering that he doesn't actually hate his twin (he has never expressed dislike to him).

However, what really caught my eye was the op's talk about how sukuna probably experienced what true starvation and powerlessness is so every time he talks to yuji about giving up and powerlessness it's almost as if something in him is being irritated without him knowing why. This could be because he has genuinely forgot his powerlessness by burning it all away so the feeling has become foreign to him until he ended up sharing a body with yuji that is.

Also the idea of sukuna rising from ashes and becoming a fully extinguished monster that has abandoned love kind of reminds me of maki.

[jeminy3]

AA/Narumitsu Love Potion AU Outline

Wanted to finish this ages ago, was gonna be a fic, friendships fell apart, I forgot, no one cares anyway, yadda yadda.

AA/Narumitsu Love Potion AU Outline

Very loosely based on the movie Strange Magic

-Opens with Mia and Maya as children being told a fairy tale about Love Potions by their mother.

OR: Maya recounting this fairy tale to Phoenix sometime during AA1, either out of boredom or because of an episode of Steel Samurai she was watching that mentioned some kind of magical Love-themed item. Phoenix is strangely prickly about it, as he usually is when the subject of Love Potions is brought up. Maya thinks he’s just being a stick in the mud with no romantic imagination.

This fairy tale summarizes the events of the film Strange Magic and justifies the existence of Primrose petals in the real world, and how they can be brewed into Love Potions. They are usually found in remote, less developed areas, like the Fey village and Eagle Mountain.

+ Love Potions are semi-magical concoctions that recreate intense feelings of infatuation for hours at a time with regular dosage. There is no known cure besides waiting for the effects to wear off – or, according to Maya, “real love – if you fall in love for real, they won’t work at all.”

Legally, they are recognized as an illegal form of psychoactive, nonlethal poison. Love Potions and Primrose petals are implied to be coveted black market items.

–

- A summary of the events of AA1, introducing Phoenix, Miles, Maya, and their relationships with each other. Puts focus on the complicated relationship between Phoenix and Miles, especially during Turnabout Goodbyes and Rise from the Ashes.

- They seemed to be on the verge of reviving their childhood friendship, despite the years of separation and trauma. But by the end of these stressful cases, a rift forms between them again, leading to Miles’ sudden departure.

+ Maybe: this part features the first mention of Love Potions being used to manipulate people during Rise from the Ashes.

As Phoenix and Ema look into how and why Gant is keeping Lana under his thumb, Phoenix has a strange thought, and searches their desks for bottled fluids of some kind. He finds nothing of the sort, and he lets out a frustrated sigh. Ema asks him what he was looking for, but Phoenix blows her off, saying it was nothing. He tries to shake off the cold, sick feeling in his gut that had formed as he thought of this theory.

–

- Summary of AA2’s events, focusing on Miles’ departure and the devastating effect it had on Phoenix. Phoenix tries not to dwell on his feelings and focus on helping his clients, but it’s hard on him.

- Gumshoe and Franziska mentioning Miles are sore spots for Phoenix, but he is dodgy about it, as usual.

- Leads into Goodbye My Turnabout and the sudden return of Miles. Phoenix is justifiably angry with him, and Miles is slightly bewildered, then ashamed at this reaction. They eventually set aside their personal feelings to work on the case at hand and rescue Maya.

–

- A summary of the Engarde case so far, leading into Phoenix and Miles now investigating Adrien’s office/quarters for evidence that will help indict Engarde. Phoenix finds a cup of coffee left behind on her desk and notices something strange about it. Giving into impulse, he takes it and smells it, sensing something familiar enough to send a chill down his spine, and a sick feeling into his stomach.

He states his surprise out loud, getting Miles’ attention. When Miles asks, Phoenix says he might have a crazy theory right now. He thinks Adrien is being poisoned – specifically with Love Potion.

Miles is momentarily shocked – Phoenix explains his theory by talking about her strangely obsessive, dependent behavior about Engarde and how she defends/defended him. Engarde might be keeping her in his thrall with more than just his manipulative charms. Phoenix knows this is a wild theory, but he can’t explain how or why he knows about this right now and just asks for Miles’ trust on this. They need to hand the coffee to Gumshoe and the police for lab testing.

Miles processes this, and to Phoenix’s surprise, he not only accepts this theory, but takes the coffee for himself, stating there is no need for police involvement, Miles can test this theory here and now. Then, to Phoenix’s utter shock, he sips the coffee.

After tasting it, Miles scowls and confirms that yes, there is Love Potion in Adrien’s coffee. At Phoenix’s shocked expression, Miles tells him to relax – Miles says he is immune to Love Potions. Phoenix is only further confused by this, so Miles shakes his head and mimics what Phoenix said earlier – there’s no time to explain how or why, he only needs Phoenix to trust him right now.

Phoenix processes this, then nods and agrees. They can both talk about this later – rescuing Maya and getting Engarde in jail is the highest priority right now. They set off to take the coffee to Gumshoe.

+ Aside: as they continue this investigation, Miles feels strangely flustered and concerned around Phoenix for a while after this event, but he ignores this, blaming it on a random bout of sickness probably brought on from his immunity/aversion to Love Potion. (In reality this is an effect of the Potion he drank from the coffee, slightly amplifying his existing feelings for Phoenix).

–

- Summary of the ending of Goodbye My Turnabout, with Maya safe and reunited with Pearl, and Phoenix and Miles reconciling.

After reconciling with Franziska and seeing her off at the airport, Miles returns to Phoenix’s office, surprising him. Maya and Pearl have already retired to bed for the evening, so Phoenix meets him alone, correctly guessing that Miles is here for that “talk” they owe each other. Miles confirms this.

The two settle in and awkwardly begin talking about how and why they both know about Love Potions.

Phoenix says that unfortunately, he was a lot like Adrien, once upon a time. Which includes being poisoned with doses of Love Potion, specifically via his cold medication by his murderous college girlfriend, “Dollie”. He avoids specifics because this is a painful subject for him.

He talks in broad strokes about how “Dollie” used Love Potion to make him head over heels in love with her, manipulating him into unknowingly holding important evidence for her, then take the fall when he was framed for a murder she committed. It was only through Mia’s dogged determination to defend his innocence and uncover the truth that he was shown the extent that he had been manipulated. (He pointedly casts a sad, but proud glance at Mia’s former office around them). It’s clear it was a very difficult and traumatizing time in Phoenix’s life, and to this day there are still a lot of unanswered questions surrounding it.

Miles is appropriately shocked and disgusted by this, and gives his sympathies. He can’t imagine the pain Phoenix went through, though he supposed he can at least empathize with being betrayed by someone you once trusted.

Phoenix carefully guesses he is talking about Manfred von Karma. Miles nods solemnly, his brows furrowed. He speaks broadly about his time as Manfred’s ward, how much he had respected and trusted the man without realizing that most of the time, Miles was nothing more than a target of abuse and twisted revenge for Manfred.

And when Phoenix asks, yes, it seems Manfred treated his own daughter Franziska similarly poorly. Miles is visibly tense about it, after seeing the results of that pain in her crying face just earlier that day.

But, Miles continues, at least there were some times when Manfred seemed to make an effort to be a decent guardian, however feeble the efforts were. During Miles’ youth, when he was still studying to become a prosecutor, Manfred sometimes brought him to social gatherings within the world of law to encourage him to socialize with his peers – especially those of the opposite sex.

...Mostly those of the opposite sex. (Miles looks visibly uncomfortable about this, and even Phoenix cringes a little). Yes, unfortunately, Manfred and his equally-conservative colleagues attempted to set up Miles with their daughters / female wards in arranged dates, hoping they would strike up a relationship. These only resulted in forced meetings that were mostly boring, awkward and in Miles’ eyes, a complete waste of time.

But, Miles adds, looking even more uncomfortable by the second, there was more to it than that. Painfully, he recounts an evening where Manfred took him aside just before the start of one of these arranged dates and discreetly gave him a bottle filled with a strange liquid, and instructed him to add its contents to his own drinks. He claimed it would make him more… ‘agreeable’ to the lady, more comfortable.

Phoenix, after a moment, guesses if that was a Love Potion. Miles nods somberly. Manfred was apparently so ashamed of Miles’ lack of romantic interest in these young women, and so desperate to save face with his colleagues, that he had (illegally) procured a bottle of the stuff to give to Miles and instruct him to, essentially, poison himself to make him fall in love with one of these young women.

“...But you’re immune, you said,” Phoenix says, and Miles confirms with a grave nod. He painfully recounts that no matter how many times he dosed himself, or how much he poured into his drinks, he didn’t feel any kind of heightened affection or fondness for any of the women, not even enough to fake it. At most the only kind of reaction he got out of the stuff was dizziness in his head and a sick feeling in his stomach, likely side effects from the large doses.

Needless to say, even Manfred had to give up on these efforts. Eventually he quietly stopped inviting Miles to these dates, or to any social gatherings at all, instructing him to focus solely on his studies, since it seemed like the only thing he would be useful at.

When Manfred did attend gatherings after that, he only brought Franziska with him, telling Miles to watch over the manor in their absence and keep it tidy. Manfred had a maid in his employ. Miles wasn’t needed for something like that.

Miles sighs deeply as he finishes his story, and Phoenix stews over this silently, eventually extending his sympathies. Though he still finds it a bit strange that someone could just be completely immune to a Love Potion.

Miles shrugs sadly, saying that he’s figured he is simply incapable of falling in love at all. Phoenix is sad about this, but attempts to comfort Miles, saying that there’s nothing wrong or broken about him even if he can’t feel love. Aromantics exist, after all. And they have just as fulfilling relationship with friends – at least, Phoenix still considers Miles a good friend.

Miles is touched by this, that Phoenix still considers him a good friend even after the hurt he caused with his sudden sabbatical. Phoenix flusters, saying yeah, guess he just can’t stay mad at him. He still treasures their friendship, especially after all they’ve been through.

Miles is the one to start flustering now, and he coughs and pointedly changes the subject. The point is, it seems they’ve both had bad experiences with Love Potions, manipulated and heartbroken in different ways, and it’s likely that many other people have been hurt in similar ways by their existence. They’re already an illegal substance, but they should take greater pains to crack down on criminals who keep getting their hands on them.

Phoenix, eagerly following the change of subject to escape the awkwardness, agrees wholeheartedly. Love is a silly thing in general anyway, especially if it can be so easily manipulated by weird magical drugs. They mutually agree to work harder to be more wary of Love Potions and one day, stamp them out of the world altogether. Miles concurs, and they shake on it, ending the night on a good note.

- Miles decides to go back home shortly after this, but not before Phoenix awkwardly asks him if he’ll be very busy now that he’s back. He wanted to properly catch up with Miles in a more casual setting sometime. Miles awkwardly says he’s still figuring things out, and has even been considering traveling again, since he found it quite agreeable on his sabbatical and could learn a lot from international legal systems… But for now, yes, he could arrange to join Phoenix for a casual outing or two. He owes it to him, after all.

Phoenix flusters again, but is happy and grateful, and they exchange phone numbers to stay in contact. They share warm goodbyes and goodnights, and Miles steps out the door and into the night.

+ Despite all their cynicism, Phoenix and Miles, ironically, are unaware of the feelings developing between them.

–

- AA3’s events are summarized, with more focus put on the offscreen relationship between Phoenix and Miles during this time. They’ve spent several months keeping in contact through calls and text, occasionally joining each other for lunches/dinners to talk and catch up. Shortly before the start of AA3’s first case (in the present timeline), Miles left the country to study international legal systems like he hinted at before. Phoenix is okay with this and happy for Miles as he takes control of the direction of his life, and it’s implied that he’s still staying in contact with him via texting.

- Somewhere in case 3-2 or 3-3, Love Potions come up again, either used in a minor way or simply mentioned in passing. Phoenix is set on edge even more than usual, between Godot’s seemingly-baseless hatred for him and the uncomfortable themes of lovers, betrayal and poison that keep coming up in these cases. Phoenix thinks of Miles and holds fast to the promise they made about stamping out all Love Potions.

- Case 3-5 begins

- Hospital scene. Phoenix is moved by Miles visiting him so suddenly. He gives Miles his badge and has him defend Iris.

- After Phoenix recovers, they investigate together. Primroses grow on the mountain. Nick hates the sight of them and Miles does too. They wonder if love potions are being used to influence the case.

Eventually – Dahlia, via possessing Iris/Maya, reveals she has been trying to poison everyone with Love Potion, but for some reason it hasn’t had any effects on Phoenix or Miles.

+Hasn't worked on Godot either because his love, Mia, is dead and Godot is too careful about his coffee to be poisoned again.

- Dahlia is defeated, Iris is saved, and both she and Godot go to jail.

Later, they wonder about the poisonings. Maya says the only way to be immune to love potion is to fall in love for real. So Phoenix and Miles have fallen in love already with someone. But who?

They are deeply confused until they look at each other and begin to wonder. Phoenix feels absolute trust in miles, and Miles feels the same for Phoenix. They fluster and dodge the issue

- Later, before Miles goes back to Europe, he meets with Phoenix privately. Miles says he is leaving again but would not be opposed to dinner together before he goes. Phoenix agrees, it’d be nice to unwind and rekindle their childhood friendship. Internally he wonders if they’ll explore something more between them as well, after remembering the Love Potion incidents.

Both silently think that maybe love isn’t so bad after all.

END

[blackjackkent]

OK, resuming Rakha's circus adventures!

So far the circus has been a very mixed bag of an experience for her. She had one of the nicest experiences in recent memory in interacting with one of the show's bards, and made a bit of a new friend in Popper, but she also had a deeply intimate and vulnerable moment with Wyll get interrupted by Orin, who it turns out is a shapeshifter and could be watching them out of the eyes of literally anyone around them.

So her mood is, to put it mildly, unstable at present. Nevertheless - she has gotten deeply fixated on the idea of letting Wyll get to see his favorite clown Dribbles, and she is NOT LETTING ANYTHING MESS THAT UP.

Wyll, who is also very unsettled by the experience with Orin in the guise of the dryad, would frankly be all right with moving on without the clown show at this point. But he is quietly touched by how invested Rakha is in giving him this experience.

On the way to the pavilion where the clown is performing, they stop to look at the animals kept in cages waiting for their part in the show.

Rakha has generally good associations with animals after her time with Scratch and Buddy has proved to be generally therapeutic, so she looks with great interest at the displacer beast inside the larger cage.

(A/N: I forgot we still had the speak with animals potion up from talking to the Strange Ox. Normally I'm holding off on speaking with animals to save it as new content for my stream playthrough, but it's mildly interesting here for Rakha so we'll stick with it.)

The creature resembles, to a degree, Jaheira's black panther form - but it most certainly is not. The undulating tentacles on its back make a significant difference, as does the very different air of magic that surrounds it. There is something strained and stretched about the Weave along its skin, a drawn bowstring ready to fire. It is capable, Rakha realizes, of teleportation, although something about the cage holds it in place, preventing the magic from snapping free.

It meets her eyes and draws its lips back, revealing long razor-sharp fangs not unlike Rakha's own tusks. "Another..." it whispers. "Good..."

Rakha blinks curiously. "Why good?" she asks.

"My time comes," hisses the animal. Its voice is female, contralto, a low growl full of barely-restrained rage. "I will show you. All of you."

Rakha's eyebrows furrow tightly together as her eyes narrow. [PERSUASION] "Show me what?"(*) she demands.

The cat's nostrils flare angrily. "Look," it snaps. "See. The crowd - they laugh. They shine with innocence. But it is a lie. Everyone of you is vicious! Cruel! You kill my mate. Steal my cubs! I roar. Break my cage. And then you die. You all die!"

Rakha's skin prickles. The beast in her head squirms eagerly at these words. Yes. Kill them all. Let the blood of them run red through this place, hear the screams as their joy turns to ash...

When the beast is excited, it is usually a sign of something that is very wrong. And yet she can understand this creature's rage, if what it says is true. Its mate, its cubs... Rakha has enacted revenge for less...

Should she let it free? Perhaps this would be a killing with purpose, in spite of the way her own darkness rises to think of it...

No. Perhaps there are those who should be punished for what has been done to the cat... but these around her are innocents. No purpose in their death, just cruelty and blood. Wyll would say it was wrong.

[INVESTIGATION] Examine the cage.

Narrator: While the cage is sturdy, the lock is old. It could be jammed shut, so not even a key could open it.

Break the lock, ensuring the cage can't be opened.

With a short, sharp motion, she stabs a lockpick from her pack into the lock, feels the crunching click of its internal workings breaking.

At once, the displacer beast rears up and roars with renewed fury. "NOOOO!" it screams. "COWARD!"

Inside Rakha's head, the beast echoes with its own screams, its bloodlust frustrated, denied. She turns away, her fists clenched at her sides, trembling with the effort the moment took, unknown to any around her.

-----

If she hopes for something more calming at the other cage, she's disappointed.

"THE HUNGER. My stomach SCREAMS! Press your FLESH through BARS! A hand. A HEAD! BLOOD. MEAT!"

She has never seen a creature quite like this before. It has no fur like Scratch or feathers like Buddy, but leathery, knobbled skin. Its eyes, pale violet, are strained in its skull, bugging out with agitation.

And its words of hunger sound like the internal monologue of her own darkness, brought out into the world. For a moment, a stab of pain goes through her head and she staggers.

Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood...

"It is starving," Jaheira mutters behind her. "The gums pale. The flesh tight upon the bones. This circus treats it with cruelty."

The calm appraisal breaks through Rakha's agitation just slightly; her head clears enough to think. Starving. Yes. She has meat in her pack. The creature need not be fed in blood.

She fumbles for a scrap of jerky in the pack at her hip, rips it free. "Here," she mutters unsteadily. "I have... something else you can eat..."

As the meat hits the floor of the cage, the lizard falls upon it with eager desperation. Ripping, tearing, consuming... calming. The strained muscles ease and the fury settles out of its eyes. And Rakha feels herself calm in answer, relaxing, relieved to see the change.

Minthara snorts. "Perhaps this is the secret to your bad days as well?" she suggests. "A cage and a fistful of meat."

Rakha grunts noncommittally. There seems little point in arguing that she is no animal like these creatures. When the beast takes over, there is very little distinction, and Minthara knows this perfectly well. "Perhaps," she says with a shrug.

-----

(*) Shortened the line here to fit Rakha's speech better. "Show me what? Come on - your secret is safe with me."

[bish-plz-haha]

I need to vent; another tangent

I'm watching a video that is making me cry.

So there's a video I just found that was made after Dan Howell came out - back in 2019 or whenever it was - and there's a lot of videos online of Dan answering fan questions on live videos between 2013 and 2017 or whatever where people were constantly like "are you gay?". He used to get those a lot. There's also one video from a live where he is talking about how much he didn't like himself - if you know you know. His story when he came out really hit home for me - still does - but my mind completely forgot about the "I hate everything about myself, ask anyone who knows me" thing until I watched this video. Just, thinking back on a lot of that stuff, a lot of shit Dan has said has really hit home for me.

And I would like to say that Dan is a very aesthetically pleasing person to look at. Like he is a very gorgeous human being. And I'm not sure why but it's just really hitting home and just full on punching me in the face that Dan hated himself so much for so long and a lot of it was because of this thing that he had no control over. And through his childhood, he was told that this thing is a bad thing. As a person who has gone through the fear of questioning one's self, I'm thankful that I never dealt with that. I had people who supported me for who I was and never told me that I couldn't be this thing because it was bad. And to see this guy come out of nowhere - just sort of rise out of the ashes - and be like, "I'm here." But still hate himself so much and try to supress a part of himself and yet have all these people just hounding him and pointing out this thing he hates about himself.

As a part of the phandom, I was never one of those people. I will say that with confidence. I just kind of kept to the shadows, as I do today. I didn't care if he was gay, straight, an alien, a worm - my point is it never mattered to me. And it still doesn't matter to me someone's sexuality. But it just hit me tonight, hard, that the incredible Daniel Howell hated himself for so long over something he couldn't control. And people were constantly hounding him about this thing he was trying to hide about himself... and now he's happy. I mean, happy enough to be who he really is. He's been dealing with depression for a long time, I know, but he's able to be here and be queer.

The recent gaming channel videos have been getting me. Dan has been laughing - genuinely laughing. And just being himself. And it brings me a lot of joy. I just really fucking love Dan.

If I ever get a chance to meet @danielhowell I just wanna tell him how proud of him I am. I've been watching Dan and Phil for, god, 10 years now and I remember a lot of these moments that Dan has had on his livestreams. I was there. And it's only now just hitting me. It's been 4, almost 5, years since Dan came out. And as a fan of his: I'm proud.

I'm so very proud of him and his journey to self acceptance. I love Dan so much, and maybe it's because I've related to him a lot in my life, but I absolutely love Dan - and I will say this as many times as I need to. He's an inspiration. And I wish I could tell him.

[ibunyang]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TONTON HCS ANON AGAIN YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY WRITE ??!?!?!???!!?!?! giggling and kicking my feet reading your answer and I Demand More Please!!!!!!!!!! either more about general hcs or more about your fav skinships...... modern au...... ANYTHING.........

HELLO AGAIN ANOONNN!!!!!!!!!!!! AHDJASHDAKJ THANK YOU for letting me yap!!! i used to write, but i orphaned all the fics i made on ao3 when i was 18 or smth when i wrote them now its hard to look at it without feeling shy.. HAHAHJDHAD embarrassed i might take another shot at writing for this ship again tho HEHE

BUT ANYWAY my favorite skin ships… oh.. my favorite skinship is moleswift (soo normal about them definitely.. )

I wanna blab about them here..

< norton just got out of the mines accident and mike also just survived the fire of his circus is what i like to think for moleswift to happen, except they didnt get invited to the manor and instead found each other to somehow lift each other up.

mike who basically had nothing but the clothes on his back and the shit ton of money that Bernards untimely death gave him, hes still actively looking for the other survivors, but he found Murro and he's the one that somewhat convinced mike to give up on his quest for revenge and live life to the fullest, essentially telling him to rise from the ashes. (nod) and with this resolve he gets to doing it.

it was hard for him to give up on searching for the person he thinks is responsible for the fire, so he still has that one guy (i forgot his name rn) to search every possible corner, but at some point they did lose natalies tail. he doesnt want to say hes given up but he has no choice but to look towards the future of his own circus.

i see him as someone who always wanted to be the ringleader, and while he was already the main star of his previous one i dont think it was the same as having his own circus to run, having this chance given to him even though it was through dire circumstances was a god sent gift. so i know he gets to work finding all the acts hiring all the people, and finally his mole.

HIS MOLEE AUGDHAHGDHAD

norton has been looking for a job, sees the advert looking to hire an assistant for the circus (he probably thought of it like man power, or smth) but he takes the job he needs money, he knows how to follow the scent of money. his resume doesnt look as good as the other people being interviewed but the moment he stepped in the tent mike knew found the other half of his act.

Everyone he was interviewing didn't seem to mesh well with him, and he would like someone he could have fun with. Personal preference.

norton obviously wasnt as sure anymore at this point, since the job description was far form the work he was used to doing (and he did think it was mostly manpower for a job) but YOU KNOW he convinces him with the riches that mike already has, "i can give you more than this you know, I see you eyeing it… and Its clear to me that your greed has no filter Mr.Campbell" WITH A SMILE.

Initially Norton doesnt like how Mike is, hes bold, brazen, and thinks that everything that he wants should be fulfilled at the drop of a hat, like??? does he think he has super powers to magic up the fund for something that he wants so out of the blue? But of course Norton is as stubborn as a mole, he can and will do whatever it is thats asked of him. Hes willing to do whatever it takes to be able to prove him wrong and even sometimes surprise Swift with what he can accomplish.

"What we accomplished together." Swift would say.

Norton ignores the throb in his heart as he looks at Mike who was looking around in awe at the decorations in the main tent, thankfully with his connections from doing VARIOUS odd jobs all his life apart from mining, he has a pretty good network.

Its safe to say that I think these guys are literally two halves of a whole OTL there can never be a Swift without his Mole and vice versa !!!!!!!

Mole whos admiration turns to worship, even if he doesnt know it and Swift who cherishes him, and never wishes to part. They both helped each other reach the best outcome of their lives !!!!!!!!!! Norton having a stable job and never having to fear when he gets to eat again and Mike back in the circus where he belongs under the spotlight.

TLDR THIS IS MY FAVORITE SKINSHIP EVER.

< i joke about them being divorced husbands but honestly its more like the old married couple vibes in the long run, they banter and they yell sometimes they pull at each others hair but its all in good fun. they have a drink together with swift on moles lap as they run through the circus expenses together. (a love language) < i dont know WHEN exactly they would have gotten together. bc to me they were married from the start??? i dont know how to explain it it just happened. <mike probably just casually mentions he loves him at one point.. or something along the lines of "i want to keep you forever. I wouldnt know what to do without you by my side." and mole just assumed this was when they start dating seriously because HE is NOT leaving. EVER. < "then keep me forever" < cue MAKE OUT MUSIC. < they have a little two man act sometimes on stage, mole usually prefers to be off the stage because he doesnt want to steal swifts spotlight (where he thinks he shines brightest) < "but i shine the brightest when im with you" referring to his head light. but mole just dies on the inside i think TEEHEE

[savebatsfromscratch]

Hockey Watching - Palletshipping Week 1 (Roommates)

Summary:

Gary and Ash watch a hockey game together. (Au notes in final note in ao3 version, I put them at the top in this one.)

Notes:

Prompt: Roommates Note: The first thing I went to was watching a Hockey game together. …for some reason. I kinda made up my own Pokemon world teams, but feel free to imagine your favorite team I guess. (Though if it’s not the Sabers I don’t want you here. /light hearted) Also, for the record, they’re kind of American coded in this one. Whoops. I apologize for this look into my mind. Cws: Surprise kiss, sort of nonsensical writing Words: 1,791

End Notes:

…dude this is such a mess. (<- did not even try to edit it.)   Here’s a fun secret, I headcannon Blake (from Pokemon Adventures) as a Hockey player, and I made his number his dexholder number! :D I also headcannon Jun (from Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Adventure) as a Hockey player, and I made his number “3” because he has three total pokemon lol. I also put Hareta (from the same series) on his team and made him number “1” because that’s the number of my favorite Sabers goalie. :3 I also Headcannon Barry and Jun as triplets (the third being Pearl from Pokemon Adventures.) I also had to make up a last name for both Jun and Blake. For Jun I gave him “Aemilius,” because I went the roman route and it “was originally derived from the Latin word aemulus, which referred to equal or rival.” (iGENEA) And I gave Blake Rasmussen because it starts with an “r” sound and so does his Japanese name AND Rasmussen would look SICK on a Hockey jersey.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54803911

Prompts from here: @/shigerussato

Fic under the cut!

Gary plopped down on the couch in front of the already flickering TV, one hand clutched around a large can of some gross thing that Delia had bought them, and the other clinging desperately to an overfilled bowl of chicken wings. Already on the couch, Ash laughed and turned up the volume on the TV with the remote that he had apparently located. (Last time Gary had checked in, the two of them had been pretty sure that that thing was gone for good.)

“Is the game on yet?” He asked, setting the huge cup down on the coffee table (and releasing a short prayer that it wouldn’t spill) as he looked up at the current rush of ads across the television screen, “Who’s winning?”

Ash giggled and got halfway through a, “Not yet Oak,” before stopping and realizing that something was still missing from their Hockey watching spree. “Um, you did get us napkins, right?”

Gary looked around himself, and though he saw Ash’s fingerless glove clad hand already covered in Buffalo sauce, hovering unsurely about the rest of the chicken wings, he saw no napkins. “Oh dang it,” He let out an exasperated cry and smacked a hand to his forehead, “I forgot them in the other room, here, I’ll get them-,”

He went to stand, but all of a sudden the announcer sprang to life before them.

“Welcome to today’s game of Hockey,” he was saying, voice strong and accented like an old radio star, and speaking just as fast, “We’ve got a very interesting match up today,”

The second announcer interrupted, sounding just as excited as the first, “Thankfully for the Snowpoint Legends, it seems that number 3, Jun Aemilius, is back on the ice, after his injury on Wednesday we were getting worried that he might not be able to make it to the next game, but it seems the medics came through!”

“And based on today’s lineup for the Icirrus Truths, the Legends may have really needed the return. I mean, ever since number 16, Blake Rasmussen, was traded into the team from the Castelia Ideals, the Truths have been rising in power across the league,”

“However, the new goalie for the Legends, number 1, Hareta Rowan, might be able to match Rasmussen’s intensity,”

“Do you know who they’re talking about?” Gary whispered to Ash, who seemed to have given up on napkins and was instead licking his fingers clean. (Seeing this, he quickly flushed red and looked back to the screen, pretending to be looking for clues there, though he hoped Ash would not guess the true reason for his newfound focus. …though it wouldn’t have been a problem if he had known.)

“Number three for the Legends is triplets with one of my rivals from when I was in Sinnoh,” Ash commented, watching as the camera tracked after a very attractive blond offensive player as if it was a totally normal comment to make to his current rival.

Gary suddenly reached for a can on the table, suddenly realizing that his throat felt dry. 

“None of that,” Ash waved his hands back and forth, flinging a speck or two of leftover sauce into Gary’s face, “I still love you the most,” he looked down at the cans, “Plus, those are non-alcoholic,”

Gary put his head in his hands, laughing. Had Ash assumed he had been trying to get drunk? “I’m just thirsty Ash,” he said, “and you reminded me of what your mom bought us,”

Ash made a face, studying the cans critically, “I wouldn’t suggest trying those, they’re probably flavored, like, pumpkin pie or crayons or something,”

Gary studied the can in the brightness of the ice from the screen. “The first one,” he told Ash, making a face, “Pumpkin pie seltzer, are you kidding me? Where does she even get them?”

“The Viridian Pokemart I think,” Ash said, snuggling a bit closer to Gary under the guise of checking out the ingredients of the strange drink.

“Why would she go all the way to Viridian to get-,” Gary cut himself off as the game suddenly kicked into action on the screen in front of them. Ash too sat up, suddenly on the edge of his seat as the puck rushed from player to player, currently held by the Truths. Gary glanced over at Ash’s face, noticing that he didn’t look super happy about that fact. 

“Soo…” Gary tried, now his turn to scoot closer, “Are we rooting for the Legends?”

“Would you want to root for a team from Unova?”

“Fair point,”

The two sat together, watching as the action moved from player to player, occasional crashes and shrieks coming up from the players as they crashed together and into various metal walls. Gary found himself leaning forward and hissing in anticipation as the puck shot towards the goal on their side, but joined Ash in whooping when the (apparently not-so-rookie) goalie expertly blocked the shot, catching it under his glove and sending up cheers among the crowd on his side of the stadium.

Ash grabbed Gary’s arm and shook him, as if Gary had watched more than a couple of games before to understand quite what that meant for his team. “Did you see that?!” He asked, sounding almost as excited as he always had before their battles, “That was so cool!”

The fact that Gary didn’t quite understand the game did not stop him from sharing Ash’s excitement. (Though he suspected that was more due to the fact that his rival was all but climbing into his lap in nervous joy about the game.)

“Yeah,” Gary said, watching somewhat in awe as the players sped from side to side in the advertisement lined rink.

They continued to watch like that, whooping as number three on their team managed a goal and hissing as 16, Blake, on the other side finally managed one of his own. At one point, their hands met in the chicken wing bowl, and of course Ash couldn’t help but joke that it was the most affectionate they’d been since getting back to Pallet together. (Gary shoved him off his shoulder and laughed it off, but the entire next period passed before he was done blushing about it.)

Advertisements passed as Gary left to refill the snacks, and he found himself grinning with the draw to watch the game as he saw it starting up again.

“You have to admit that this is just as interesting as watching a Pokemon battle,” Ash said, between bites of chicken wing, looking expectantly up at Gary.

“And nowhere near as irritating,” Gary added, breaking off in the middle of his sentence to take a large sip of pumpkin pie seltzer. (Which was honestly even more interesting than Delia had advertised it as being.) “I’m not there picking through every mistake they make,”

They both cringed as, number three, the forward on the team they had decided to root for just barely missed an easy shot.

“For the most part anyway,” Gary corrected

“For the most part anyway,” Ash laughed, agreeing with him.

They looked forward, and the game went back into that comfortable blur as the announcers led the cheers (or boos) as players entered and left the ice. (Though Gary found himself realizing that the two rivals were getting oddly close again as the final period began to wrap up. Even if the “close together” in question was more like, “just about falling off the couch with how focused they were on the flashing screen,”)

They cheered as their goalie blocked yet another would-have-been goal, and then cheered even louder as their team managed to actually complete a goal of their own. They were back in the lead by one, and with only a couple of seconds remaining on the clock, and a major player of the Truths out for misconduct earlier in the match, it was looking good.

“Comeon comeon,” Ash muttered, his fingers digging into Gary’s shoulders as he leaned even further forward, “Just hold the goal for one more-,”

“No!” They both shrieked, watching as their goalie, the one named like his region’s professor, was knocked to the ground by an opposing player, allowing the puck to sail cleanly into the net behind him.

Making the game tied, and sending it into overtime as Ash jolted to his feet, taking two large steps forward and echoing the announcer as he yelped. “How was that not an illegal move!”

Gary stood and walked to meet him, but found his eyes similarly glued to the screen as the teams reset for the tie breaking move. In his still lacking understanding of the game, he couldn’t quite tell what was happening, but the energy in the crowd (and in Ash), was enough to tell him that, whatever it was, it was seriously interesting.

He squinted at the glowing ice, and then found himself jumping up and down as he spotted number three dragging the puck forward and towards the opposing goal. He was moving like lightning, skirting around nearly every other player as he raced for the win.

Ash and Gary watched in slow motion as 16, Blake, from the other team fought to catch up with Jun, and cheered as he crashed into a defenseman from his own team, clearly still at least a little shaken up from his apparent injury on Wednesday as the two skidded across the ice together, their balance lost.

It happened so fast that Gary almost missed it, but the puck banged against the net and the stadium exploded. Even with the TV on low volume, Gary truly felt like he was among the screaming fans as Ash jumped up and down beside him. Clapping his hands together and shivering in excitement. To Gary, the sight was almost funny, but as he opened his mouth to say something about it, he found himself the one taken aback as Ash jumped up and kissed him.

They hung that way for a moment, Gary feeling like he was floating in sudden joy as Ash’s arms wrapped briefly around his shoulders, only to be dragged back away again as his friend suddenly pulled back, face bright red.

“Oh I-,” he tried to explain himself, “I didn’t mean to-,”

Gary’s face was definitely bright red, but he didn’t care. “Well,” he said, grabbing Ash’s hands and leaning forward, “Do it again and I might think about coming back for the next game,” 

He smirked as Ash stuttered out a sudden, “I love you,” right before Gary pulled them back into a kiss as the cheers of the crowd echoed through the dark room. 

(Even if their mouths tasted like buffalo chicken wings and pumpkin pie seltzer.)

[themculibrary]

Tony Stark Pairings Masterlist

a master’s treat. a pet’s game (ao3) - meowrails tony/stephen E, 7k

Summary: Stephen grows ears and a tail, and gives himself a magically induced heat.

Tony sees a long night ahead of them.

And The World Moves On… It Has To (ao3) - Teamironmanforever natasha/tony T, 157k

Summary: This fic is set Five Years after the events of Civil War.

———

The New Avengers, headed by Tony Stark, have finally established themselves in the world, working closely alongside the UN to maintain public trust. The team has managed to create a close-knit bond, working together to forget the past. However, when Thanos comes to threaten the earth, the Avengers will be forced to face some old ghosts when Steve Rogers and his team of renegades are called in to work with Tony’s team.

The two teams will be forced to face their pasts to work together to save Earth.

Anew. (ao3) - IViv tony/stephen M, 130k

Summary: In death, there was no glory, no redemption, no salvation.

Only darkness and ice—or that was what Tony thought. He closed his eyes in a Siberian bunker and opened them again on his 41st birthday, with War Machine flying into the distance.

Asgard’s Throne (ao3) - The_Winter_Writer tony/thor N/R, 3k

Summary: There was a first time for everything. Tony had fantasized about this, imagined it when Thor had first started courting him, but he’d never believed he would find himself seated on Asgard’s throne in such a way.

darkness will be rewritten (ao3) - princessironspider natasha/tony N/R, 109k

Summary: Peter is Tony’s biological child.

Natasha Romanoff has been married to Tony Stark secretly for years.

What would the movies be like if this were the case?

Debts (ao3) - d_aia tony/t’challa M, 59k

Summary: In which Tony saves T'Chaka, T'Challa is grateful, and they both are all the better for it.

Falling Into You (ao3) - sabrecmc steve/tony M, 53k

Summary: Tony and Steve end up as fuck buddies after the events of The Winter Soldier until Steve calls it off. When Loki’s spell wipes all of Steve’s memories since the last time Loki was in town, Tony decides it will be so much easier to just not tell Steve they had something of a relationship. Spoiler: It isn’t.

Or, how Steve fell in love with Tony and forgot about it, and how Tony fell in love with Steve and realized it.

Five Times Bruce Knew Exactly What to Say (ao3) - storiesfortravellers bruce/steve/tony T, 6k

Summary: “When Steve was a kid, he hated being rescued….”

Eventual Steve/Bruce/Tony.

five times pepper potts took care of tony stark (and one time tony stark took care of her) (ao3) - zauberer_sirin pepper/tony T, 5k

Summary: In Pepper’s defense she really did try to keep things professional.

Have I Changed? (ao3) - katling tony/stephen T, 141k

Summary: I liked you more before you met the Avengers.

It’s an offhand comment that Tony wasn’t sure he was actually meant to hear. But he did and he doesn’t know what it means. Lucky for him, Rhodey’s got an answer for him.

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful (ao3) - Takara_Phoenix loki/tony E, 105k

Summary: Post Civil War, Tony has to build a new team of Avengers.

Aside from new recruits, there are also two well-known Avengers that return to Earth – with a ship full of refugees. New and more functional Avengers rise from the ashes of the old and new alliances, new friendships and even new relationships are formed.

Though the biggest wild-card proves to be Loki, not entirely unexpected.

However Sweetly It May Storm (ao3) - KimchiKitty7 bucky/steve/tony E, 30k

Summary: After Civil War, Tony Stark is trying to pull his life together and deal with the betrayal and abandonment of his team. One night he goes upstairs to find Steve Rogers in his penthouse, and is ready to try his hand at throwing him out the window. But things aren’t always what they seem. Can they get it right this time?

love is like a stubborn youth (ao3) - owlvsdove pepper/tony T, 9k

Summary: The long-winded story of the meeting, hiring, working relationship, courting, and comedy goldmine that is Tony Stark’s relationship with Pepper Potts.

Natural Talent (ao3) - 27dragons, tisfan bucky/tony E, 47k

Summary: Bucky is Boss of the Commando territory, carved out of Hydra’s territory with blood, tears, and sweat - mostly his own. He has a reputation in other territories for being hard and ruthless, but his own people know him as a generous, considerate leader. He protects his land and his people, but otherwise keeps his head down. He has no intention of getting embroiled in any of the other territories’ disputes. That is, until Bucky finds himself in possession of a beautiful companion and learns that the man is far more than he appears.

one hell of a show (ao3) - MillyVeil pepper/tony E, 44k

Summary: Tony gets kidnapped for ransom and Clint gets nabbed with him. It’s rough for them both.

Perfect Soldier (ao3) - orphan_account steve/tony, bucky/steve/tony E, 5k

Summary: Immediately after Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve enlists Tony to help him fuck a mind-wiped and perfectly compliant Bucky Barnes.

Sharpen Your Teeth (ao3) - STARSdidathing loki/tony M, 369k

Summary: A betrayed Tony Stark leaves the Avengers. He’s angry and bitter but he’s not about to stop being a hero. The problem is that not everyone is happy with his decision.

spit your tongue out (ao3) - deathsweetqueen tony/sam E, 5k

Summary: Sam is the last to come out of the Quinjet when it lands, and he looks just as handsome as he was the last time Tony saw him, a little thinner, a little wearier, more lines in his face that comes from exile.

His lungs are in his throat the entire time, and when Sam finally looks at him, his face hollowed out, he’s absolutely terrified of what he might say.

Sam doesn’t say anything.

stress relief (ao3) - romanoff steve/tony E, 84k

Summary: They don’t love each other. They barely even like each other.

The Guardians (ao3) - GremlinSR peter quill/tony M, 35k

Summary: Tony is pulled out of his funk after the Civil War by actual space aliens when they come to warn him of an impending attack. Now he’s building a new team, going on adventures with his new space friends, and generally just moving on.

When Team Cap comes back, they’ll find things are different than how they left them.

A salty ‘Tony doesn’t need the team back’ post Civil War fic.

Wrecking Balls (ao3) - Bourneblack bucky/tony E, 87k

Summary: Bucky Barnes is trying to make enough money as an escort to take care of his sister after she loses an arm in the war, and Tony just wants to feel a semblance of control after aliens try to attack New York. They happen to find each other and strike up a mutually beneficial arrangement (sugar, sugar), but is their chance meeting really just coincidence?

[bonesandthebees]

So overall thoughts. Damn what a painful chapter. It dragged a lot to the surface. There’s a lot of shifting. The toxicity and co-dependency is really starting to rear it’s head. Someone save these boys it not healthy.

I’m not sure how to feel about Tommy right now. Like as a character he’s a lot of fun to analyse. He’s beautifully morally complex and a little fucked up. Probably the most fucked up Tommy of yours I’ve read. Which is starting to make me worried. I’m not sure if Wilbur needed to be pushed as far as Tommy pushed him this chapter. Definitely not as soon. Then again who knows when she might make progress otherwise. It’s the age-old struggle of making progress, not how you are supposed to do it to be healthy, but in a way that somehow still seems to work. Though there will be consequences.

Wilbur is a lot of fun too. I really need to start paying more attention to the name shifts because I keep missing most of them on my first read. Also, I’m very much neglecting analysis the bird metaphor, but I do love it. It’s a very good representation of Wilbur’s emotions as something he doesn’t really control but can’t fully repress. It’s essentially his subconscious or inner self screaming at it. It’s ‘Wilbur’ trying to communicate and get out. It’s a Phoenix getting stoked to live again and trying to rise from its own ashes. Reawakening the embers after all these years.

Once more question, cuz I just realised I forgot to put it in the actual ask. Did Wilbur realise Tommy’s tendency to make decisions for other people beforehand or was it more the pieces snapping into place because of how hard Tommy was pushing him?

That is all, for now. Banger chapter as always, Bee. I had a blast, and a decent chunk of energy and free time this time around (as you can tell by my truckload of asks). Have a great day everyone! I’m going to bed.

(10/10)

-🌲

honestly I think glass!tommy might be my favorite iteration of tommy i've written yet (at least in wilbur pov fics) precisely bc of how fucked up he is. he's so flawed and it's so fun to dig into. one of my favorite character traits of c!tommy that I don't think gets explored in c!crime often enough is how possessive he is of c!wilbur. so I'm having a really fun time diving into the ugly aspects of that with glass.

would wilbur have gotten to that point on his own? possibly. but ever since tommy forcibly began calling wilbur by his name, he set up a dynamic between them where he pushes and wilbur will listen, even if he doesn't want to. wilbur is getting to a point where he doesn't know how to make progress on his own without tommy pushing him forward, and that's DEFINITELY not healthy. but glass isn't about healthy relationships lmao

the bird is such a fun metaphor tool for me to write with. it's hard though because I'm trying not to overuse it, but also how tf else am I supposed to describe wilbur's emotions when he can't accept them as his own? it's a balancing act for sure

I'd say wilbur was somewhat aware of tommy's tendency to make choices for other people before, but what really snapped it into focus was jack actually. when he saw it through the lens of tommy doing that to someone else instead of just doing it to him, he was finally able to recognize it and realize how often tommy's done that to him as well.

ty for your thoughts as always spruce!! sorry i was so late answering this and ik you've already sent me one ask about ch 17 so I can't wait to go read that :)

[noodleodoodleo]

Wonder Magical Showtime! Event Story

Chapter 1 The brothers are also sentimental and want to keep the image of the park as is but welp it's business. It appears as though Shousuke is the more emotional one out of the two brothers or something...

make this the park that emu's grandpa envisioned... i forgot what was that exactly...? Was that ever said or is the idea just "the original ideal and image" vs "change and whatnot"... i wonder. Ah nvm the idea was "a place where guests of all ages can smile and laugh"... but that is not completely opposed to change/newer attractions though, I don't understand...

Chapter 2 The people are such meanies T-T... but honestly can't blame them for not believing in the plan

Sakurako is such a tsundere, of course she's gonna agree.

Chapter 3 they talk about young people as if they're not part of that demographic. YOU'RE 16!! Ah I see the problem the change is specifically tailored towards teens and stuff so no children or adults or whatnot. Yey they're all helping. Wonderhoy☆

wait... do wonderland x showtime just not talk with their co-workers... Seiryuin thank you for helping these socially inept teens. actually yeah... nene has social anxiety, rui is rui, emu is like the weird CEO-daughter and... well Tsukasa has no excuse but it actually makes a lot of sense that they don't talk to the cast members of other stages.

WHAT WAS THAT ANIMATION?! D-did Seiryuin just... how would you even describe that? Weird flash eyebrow thing :/

Chapter 4 Wonderful introduction Tsukasa I am moved to tears, you're doing great sweetie. Even Seiryuin looks baffled, like "this is the guy we trusted". There we go, this is the future star Tenma Tsukasa. Hehe pxl rising from the ashes like a phoenix, that's a cute metaphor.

Emu's eyes are sparkling. She does not regret scouting Tsukasa. Gaedjawksfhie that's so sweet.

What do you mean some people left your shows NOT SMILING. You're definitely doing smth wrong there buddy.

Tsukasa be like uwu. Pompous Tsukasa surprising everyone with his inspirational impact. Surprising because he has such a keen lack of situational awareness, like how the heck is this dude so motivational.

It's really nice seeing everyone work together on this and showing off their strengths.

... emu doesn't like it when the sun sets...? ah right... fear of change and the fun and happiness ending/fear of growing up I guess...

Chapter 5 The virtual singers in the real world. That reminds me... why exactly can't they reveal their SEKAI to other people? like yes they'd sound insane but still... if someone were to just see the hologram of the VS they'd be convinced of it being a little real. SO why can't they show others? would the SEKAI just explode or smth? Speaking of, can they bring outsiders into their SEKAI? We know that people other than the creator of said SEKAI can enter it, see Tsukasa and Mafuyu but what about people completely unrelated? What about the other units? pls sega make them have that spiderman meme moment. Anyway now that my rant is over back to the story.

huh Tsukasa is sad... that doesn't seem right...

The Otoris are so confused. Amazing.

Chapter 6 That's not just any robot Shosuke its Robo-nene. It's all part of the plan Riley, it's all part of the plan Shousuke says as he is internally panicking.

burned field, It used to be so vibrant, and I even came to visit pretty often... yep they're talking about pxl.

RUI'S VOICE?!

Tsukasa is like the grandfather... huh interesting

Chapter 7 Ok so either Rui hacked pxl or the staff member 'helping' shousuke is in on it.

Otori dad knows exactly what this play is about.

pxl absolutely does not have the rights to use the virtual singers but whatever we're gonna ignore copyright.

Chapter 8 wait... how ARE the VS being projected? can they be projected from any electronic device? or is it just any device that can play music and has the SEKAI song on it? can N25's pcs project the VS? Or do WxS just have their phones lying on the ground? So many questions and no answers

They streamed it. THIS is why tech savvy/ social media savvy kids are useful for your business. But there is still one problem remaining.... the in-game Crypton can sue pxl for using the VS without a license. I know they are real people in-universe but wouldn't it just be so funny for sega to create a story where an in-universe character gets sued for using the Vocaloid characters. (Maybe there are some nuances about vocaloids and copyright law that I don't quite understand but the idea is still funny nonetheless)

"Emu, do you know what you've done...!" for one boosted the sales and popularity of your business.

Otori dad isn't that bad. Like from the very beginning he gave her the wonderstage that meant so much to her (well until it actually cost them too much money to upkeep). And he does care for his father's park. Otori dad isn't a bad guy

SHOUSUKE YOU PARTY POOPER! DO THE WONDERHOY!

roll credits

[wingedblooms]

midnights, an elriel story in lyrics

the great war - you came for me

We can plant a memory garden

Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair

And we will never go back

-

To that bloodshed, crimson clover

Uh-huh, the worst was over

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

Always remember

bigger than the whole sky - this was a mistake

Did some bird flap its wings ovеr in Asia?

Did some force take you bеcause I didn't pray?

Every single thing to come has turned into ashes

'Cause it's all over, it's not meant to be

So I'll say words I don't believe

-

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

And I've got a lot to pine about

I've got a lot to live without

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

vigilante shit - a different side

Draw the cat eye, sharp enough to kill a man

You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them

Sometimes I wonder which one'll be your last lie

They say looks can kill and I might try

I don't dress for women

I don't dress for men

Lately I've been dressin' for revenge

-

Ladies always rise above

Ladies know what people want

Someone sweet and kind and fun

The lady simply had enough

-

I don't start shit, but I can tell you how it ends

Don't get sad, get even

So on the weekends

I don't dress for friends

Lately I've been dressin' for revenge

sweet nothing - we almost forgot it

I spy with my little tired eye

Tiny as a firefly, a pebble

That we picked up last July

Down deep inside your pocket

We almost forgot it

-

They said the end is coming

Everyone's up to something

I found myself a-running home to your sweet nothings

Outside they’re push and shoving

You're in the kitchen hummin'

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

mastermind - you’re mine

Once upon a time, the planets and the fates

And all the stars aligned

You and I ended up in the same room

At the same time

-

And the touch of a hand lit the fuse

Of a chain reaction of countermoves

To assess the equation of you

Checkmate, I couldn't lose

-

You see, all the wisеst women

Had to do it this way

'Cause we were born to be the pawn

In every lover's game

-

No one wanted to play with me as a little kid

So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since

To make them love me and make it seem effortless

This is the first time I've felt the need to confess

And I swear

I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian

'Cause I care

-

So I told you none of it was accidental

And the first night that you saw me

Nothing was gonna stop me

I laid the groundwork, and then

Saw a wide smirk on your face

You knew the entire time

You knew that I'm a mastermind

And now you're mine

[all excerpts are lyrics from Taylor Swift’s album, Midnights]

[juicenet]

top 10 gayest h2o episodes: a definitive ranking

i'm back with another ranking, but this time it's a little different! today, i'll be ranking the top 10 gayest episodes of h2o: just add water. (in MY opinion. i realize that this show has no canonically LGBT+ characters, but come on, the subtext. also, i write sapphic h2o fanfiction, what did you expect?) anyway, please don't take this too seriously, it's just for fun.

ranking below the cut!

honorable mention: 1x05 "something fishy"

i'm just going to link this post and let it speak for itself.

10. 1x26 "a twist in the tail"

the episode where the girls are "outed" (the official h2o jaw youtube channel uses this term, no joke) to dr. denman, zane, his father, and nearly the world. thankfully they're able to avert exposure with advice from their gay mermaid mentor/queer elder, miss chatham. however, they begrudgingly have to give up their tails (temporarily, though they don't know this). even with the challenges that being gay a mermaid poses, they've still come to love what they are.

9. 2x11 "in over our heads"

rikki almost dies trying to retrieve a deep-sea treasure and emma cradles rikki's head in her arms while trying to save her. so... yeah. emma also shows hostility towards rikki's boyfriend, zane... and i get that he was a mermaid hunter last season, but this also reads like emma is jealous of his relationship with rikki. but on the flipside, zikki is kind of like a het relationship for gay people. idk. there's a lot going on here.

8. 3x21 "the jewel thief"

rikki and bella's moon crystal necklaces gravitate towards each other and cause a city-wide electrical blackout. this is gay, please don't make me explain. oh, cleo also gets a matching crystal necklace in this episode and the girls all wear them to symbolize their "friendship" (or are they just in a throuple? nobody knows).

7. 1x18 "bad moon rising"

mainly put this episode here because of emma's iconic line to rikki: "if we're going somewhere we're going together" and then their smoldering gazes that follow. but, generally, the subtext is off-the-wall. when rikki loses control of her powers, she thinks she's a danger to society and tries to isolate herself—just like how gay people have been told for thousands of years that we're destructive to society. this one is kinda sad actually :(

6. 1x07 "moon spell"

not only are we introduced to camp gay miss chatham, but there's something really queercoded about embarrassing your family at a party (as emma does in this episode). she also calls rikki "rikki baby" and now i'm realizing that this ranking is pretty much a love letter to rikma.

5. 2x04 "fire and ice"

sometimes i think the writers just forgot who rikki's canon love interest was at the time?? half of these season 2 episodes frame rikki and emma as girlfriends. anyway, emma's desire to be rebellious and wild reads like a baby gay trying to be something they're not after coming out. in the b plot, nate tells lewis he's not "manly" enough and the latter struggles with this. maybe it was unintentional, but some lines make it seem like the show is queercoding lewis. i'm here for it, either way.

4. 2x17 "moonstruck"

a moonstruck rikki and cleo try to expose emma as a mermaid to ash, but without context, you'd think they're trying to tell him that emma's a lesbian and that's why she's been so secretive and distant with him. another mermaid=gay allegory? no one knows for sure, but sources (me) say yes!

3. 2x06 "pressure cooker"

ah, yes... another episode where the writers forgot that rikki and emma weren't dating, included multiple scenes of them on an actual date, and hoped we wouldn't notice. plus, we see that rikki is emma's phone wallpaper. cleo and charlotte also could've had an enemies-to-lovers moment here, but what do i know?

2. 1x01 "metamorphosis"

three teenage girls discover something life-altering about themselves and must stay closeted keep the secret from the rest of society. in the process, they become much closer to one another but also feel isolated from their families and other girls their age. are we reeeally certain that this isn't an allegory? sure, a lot of this applies to the rest of the show, but "metamorphosis" is the episode that started it all, so...

1. 2x18 "the heat is on"

this episode is actually the reason i made this ranking. not only does rikma's homoerotic feud cause a thunderstorm, but they (+ cleo) ditch their boyfriends at the juicenet to celebrate their "anniversary" of becoming mermaids. okay, straighties! bonus points for zane and ash's UST during that game of pool.

end notes

it doesn't surprise me that this list consists mostly of season 2 episodes, because rikma was probably at its peak (imo) in the first half of season 2. it also doesn't surprise me that only a single season 3 episode is here. i'm not sure why that is—maybe it's emma's absence, maybe it's the way the tone of the show shifted considerably from the end of season 2 to the beginning of season 3. anyway, hope you enjoyed this :-)

[fallout-fucker]

For fanfic: Travis, isolation, whatever setting you want. Thanks!

Travis Miles - Isolation

Note: Hey! I know it's not very original to just use the Confidence Man quest, but I truly know nothing of Travis outside of that. I understand the companions better and wasn't expecting a request about a different NPC. Sorry if you were expecting something more original but I hope you enjoy this regardless. Also, sorry it took a while to get this out. Uni, ya know?

Travis didn’t know what drowning felt like. If he had to guess, he would say it felt like this.

The burning, sickening sensation spreading throughout his body. He imagines this is what it feels like when water- Seemingly thick as tar in those moments of panic when someone tries to thrash towards the surface- makes its way into their respiratory system. Forcing its way into their nose, leaving it scorching with a metallic taste flooding into its victim’s mouth, scratching its way down their trachea. Filling their lungs. Drowning them. He couldn’t breathe. Couldn't speak. Not that there was anyone to speak to.

Aside from the burning of loneliness came the numbness of isolation.

Travis Miles thought he was used to isolation. The static of the radio. The same twenty-something songs scavenged as some of the last remaining pieces of evidence of a bygone era that had long since been buried in ash. Speaking into a microphone, essentially to one’s self, and never receiving an answer back, as if his words only ever found themselves echoing into an abyss of sorts. Travis Miles had thought he knew how isolation felt; tucked away in a forgotten part of Diamond City, in a trailer he assumed everyone forgot was there, the creeks of its metal paneling his only company. Now, he knew differently.

He thought he had been brave. He thought he was finally putting himself out there, getting an edge towards being a confident man. He sees now that he was just foolish. Foolish and naive. Naive enough to think that a radio host, who barely even had the courage to have a voice, could actually step his foot towards that edge.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Travis barely processes the words that Sole is saying to him. In his response, he feels the promise rush from his lips before he even knows what he’s truly promising. “I’ll get a gun-” He didn’t even have a gun. Who doesn’t have a gun? He was always too afraid he would mess up with one. God, he was hopeless.

Foolish.

Naive.

Scared.

“I’ll meet you there-” He thinks he sees concern flicker through the rising General's eyes. Even they don’t believe he can make it there by himself, and he can’t blame them. It’s because of him that Vadim was taken. It’s his fault. He let someone who is arguably his best friend be taken all because he wanted to be more confident. 

Drowning.

Lonely.

Numb.

“We’ll settle this.” There’s the promise. The promise he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to keep. Regardless, he leaves the Dugout.

The gun he buys is cold against his still burning fingertips. The breath he takes is shaky and turns to mist in the chilly November air. It only adds an icy burn to the already fiery one inside of his tar-sick lungs. The radio equipment gets switched off. The trailer gets locked up.

Travis makes his way to the edge of the city, where the gate opens for him. There it is again, the edge. He doesn’t think he can step over it again, not when he knows the consequences this time. This wasn’t about him this time, though. Even if it means speaking out into that staticy-abyss alone once more. He prays he gets a response this time.

He glances up at the gate as he crosses under it. A part of him cries out to stay in the city, surrounded by walls and safe. The rest of him knows he can’t hide this time, even if it's the first time he actually did wish he was as unnoticeable as he had always felt.

Travis Miles steps over the edge and into the Commonwealth with nothing but a single gun. All alone.

Isolated.