#i realy want him to have a dog

[gettingwormed]

that creepy boy and his unsettling dog

[just-some-random-blogger]

Losing Dogs

Neither you or Aegon wanted to get married. Neither you or Aegon wanted to marry each other. But at some point, you figured you should make the most of what you had, and so you offer your husband a deal he cannot refuse.

Aegon Targaryen x Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, wife!reader, arranged marriage/loveless marriage, smut (piv, virginity loss, rough/loveless sex) DD:DNE, alcoholism, violence, suicide/suicidal thoughts & ideation, mentions of domestic/child abuse, death, pregnancy/miscarriage, aegon's mommy issues, insecurities, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: ... i had something to say about this fic but i forgot... maybe ill remember later???? edit: i did not remember. i thought of mitski while entitling this so go play i bet on losing dogs ig?

Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @deniixlovezelda @azperja @sloanexx @risefallrise

You don't know what you have until it's gone.

Aegon only truly understood what this meant the day he was married and he was forbidden to drink a drop of alcohol.

As if it wasn't painful enough that he was going to be married to a complete stranger from some house he's never fucking heard of, he was erratic and uneasy the whole day because of the withdrawal. He loathes the preparation, the ceremony, the fucking pageantry of it all.

He thinks it was worse that you seemed to be so chipper the entire time. You smiled with a halo, skin shining with the light. You also seemingly did no wrong, judging by the praises you received from his mother and grandfather. But, who was he kidding, of course they fucking loved you, they chose you to be his prison keeper.

You did not press him once, not when you were preparing for the ceremony, not when you were at the feast, not even after the Queen encouraged you to dance.

Anyone with eyes could see from how he slumped on his chair during dinner that Aegon would rather die than circle around the room to this grating noise echoing in the chamber.

The band begins to play another song and another round of dancing ensues.

He stares at the food on the table. Oh, to be a suckling pig.

The relief that coursed through him when he could finally leave was enough to knock him out. Except, he really wanted, no, needed a drink.

He crashes on his bed, belly down, and reaches for the cabinet door on his bedside table. He feels for his bottle, hand knocking into the corners of the compartment, but he sits up when he finds nothing.

He growls in frustration upon realizing this was definitely his mother's doing. Thief!

"I managed a cup."

Aegon struggles to look over his shoulder from his position. He rolls on his back as you walk to the side of the bed.

He stares at you. You offer a glass holding burgundy liquid. Your voice is soft and kind as you explain, "your mother would suspect me if I took a whole bottle."

Aegon pushes himself up and sits on the edge of the bed, facing you. He gulps at the wine you were offering.

Sure, he may not be the brightest, but anyone could tell this scene was the epitome of ulterior motives. Aegon leans on his thighs, "why are you doing this?"

You stare a moment. You clutch the cup in both hands and examine it. Again, your voice is gentle, "you are clearly in torment. It hurts my heart."

His eye twitches.

I see. It seems you were a fucking saint.

Aegon rips the glass out of your hands, some of the wine spills over. He downs the contents in one go, then chucks the glass across the room once he finished.

He looks back at you, glaring with watery eyes. He was exhausted, he was angry, and he wanted you to know it. But you don't flinch at the sound of the glass breaking. You didn't flinch at all when he showed aggression. Why didn't you flinch?

You press your lips and sigh. You step towards him and reach out.

He nervously straightens up and tilts his head back as you approach. His breath hitches when your warm hand touches his cheek. He blinks rapidly.

"It's been a long day. Would you like me to help you change?"

Again, his eye twitches.

And then he realizes what you mean.

Ah. So, this is what you wanted?

He releases a breath, eyes lowering. Your face falls into a slight frown.

He thinks about it for a moment. I mean, sex was sex and he was game. It didn't matter how he performed, his completion was all that mattered, really. And you were pretty enough, albeit irritatingly good.

When you stroke his hair, Aegon pulls at your skirts, causing you to squeak and topple, hands flying to his shoulders for support. Your faces are inches apart. He pulls you down until you have no other choice than to sit on his lap.

You can smell the remnants of the wine he just drank on his breath. Aegon brings his face closer to yours, and you let out a soft 'hmp'. You mutter, "I gather you don't want to change, but want to get out of your clothes."

He narrows his eyes as you shift on his lap and undo the buttons by his chest. He mutters dumbly, "this is what you wanted."

With knit brows, you retort, "I've not yet told you what I wanted." You shift on his lap again as you peel his top off. Amidst it, he asks, "what do you want?"

You grunt after ridding him of his top. You fold it in your arms then set it aside on the bed. You turn back to him. Aegon's breath hitches when you fondle with strings of his undershirt. He watches your lips as you mumble, "I want you to give me a ride on your dragon."

He furrows his brows. But that's what he just said.

You stand, only to lift your skirt and take your place back on his lap. This time, you straddle him.

Aegon gulps, hands coming to your hips like a magnet. He feels you grind on him; shaky breaths leave his lips in response. His hands scratch up your back and a moan escapes him when your nails trace his collarbones.

"Allow me one trip on Sunfyre, and in return, I'll be your magic lamp," you whisper, taking one of his hands, bringing it to the side of your ribs, "you may rub me where you like-"

His heart skips when you kiss his cheek.

"-and I will grant you all your wishes."

Aegon ticks.

The next moment, he pushes you down on the bed. He doesn't bother getting either of you naked, nor does he prepare you at all in fact. Thankfully, you were already wet.

You don't have the opportunity to ask him to be gentle, to explain you were a bride after all, and it was your wedding night.

Aegon grips your skirts as he fucks you like he means to prove a point. He snaps his hips roughly into you to assert dominance, to exemplify control. Sure, you offered yourself to him, but he was the one doing the work, and you were the one beneath him.

In truth, the pace he set gave you more pain rather than pleasure. And with how pent up he was, the rough tempo he set burnt him out way too quickly before it could make any of you feel good. And when he begins to lag, you start to feel good.

You notice this change and rub your nose against his. He recoils, unused to affection when fucking. It snaps him back into an aggressive trance.

You yelp. Aegon convinced himself it was a sound of bliss.

You kiss his jaw and work your way to his ear, hoping to calm him down. He tenses at the feel of your tongue on his lobe. It stokes flames in his belly and makes him involuntarily roll his hips slower to focus on the attention you're giving. In return, his pace is just enough for him to hit that spot that makes you throw your head back.

Aegon is startled by the scratchy groan that leaves your throat. He finds himself lifting his head to spectate, but you pull him into you by the nape and groan, "like that. Please- gods - that feels good."

His brows tense and he rolls his hips again, finding the same reaction.

You wrap your arms and legs around him, uncaring of how hot and sweaty you were getting. In the heat of the moment, you reach for his lips, needing them, needing something to wrap your own on.

Aegon kisses you. He kisses you with a strange twinge in his chest. He kisses you until he has to pull away and reposition himself to catch his building climax.

In a second, he's back to his fuck-loving self, only self-serving and lustful. As he gazes upon your writhing body, catching the beads of sweat on your skin, the concentration on your face, and the way you chant his name as you part your legs for him, he's overcome by another spirit. To watch you break, to watch you coil and collapse around him felt just as urgent as his need to come.

And so Aegon rubs your clit and forces you to peak first; you do it so well he curses loudly and comes after.

He lays on top of you for a moment, the overwhelming need to be held ripples through his body. He recalls how his whores shoo him away after he's done fucking them though. Before you can cradle him in your arms, he rolls off you.

You close your legs and and watch him strip himself and sequentially change. You watch him get back in bed and bring himself underneath the covers. He goes to sleep.

He fucking goes to sleep.

You feel hollow after this, but tell yourself it's nothing personal. You repeat this as you, yourself, get up and change, sequentially sleeping too. Or at least you try. You have fight the urge to cry for hours before you do.

The next morning, you bring up dragon riding to Aegon, and disappointed as you are, you are unsurprised to find that he was unwilling to give you such a thing.

It was a plain thing you were asking for, you explain. And it's exactly why he doesn't want to do it. It's clearly some trick, something to trap him, something he's going to regret. It was probably some ploy orchestrated by his mother.

Oh gods, he thinks, it's worse. It's a bonding experience so you can make him into your puppet. Fuck. No.

So, he does what he does best, and makes an excuse, "I don't feel like riding today. I'm still exhausted from the festivities."

You purse your lips and nod, "that's understandable. Would you like for me to get you something?"

Wait. You weren't going to argue about him not keeping his end of the deal?

You seem to catch this, considering your response and the way you take his hand. You place his palm on your chest. He can feel your pulse quicken as you mutter, "I am your magic lamp, husband. I wish to please you. I will prove this until you trust me enough to grant me a ride on dragonback."

He narrows his eyes, "you would grant me wishes, all in return for a ride on Sunfyre?"

You smile softly at him, "in return for respite, yes."

He doesn't trust your smile.

"I want to visit the Grey Cliffs. I have for a years now. I went there once as a child and long to go again."

"Why?" he knits his brows at your explanation, "what's there?"

You lower his hand and rub his skin, "respite, my prince."

Aegon pulls his hand away.

Very well. If that is what you want, then he will wear your wishes dry until you find it no longer worth the trouble.

Aegon wishes on his lamp everyday, and his wife sequentially plays entertainer, jester, servant, and slave.

He makes you bring a bottle of wine with you everywhere, and pour him a cup when he wishes. He loathes how you seem unbothered by it. He loathes how you don't even correct a visiting Lord who mistakes you for a cupbearer and simply serve him some wine. The Lord is mortified when he realizes you are his wife, a fucking princess. Aegon hates how you tell the man you were unbothered because you spent your whole life being a cupbearer to your father anyway.

He makes you do trivial tasks as well, sometimes tasks meant for more than one person at a time, and yet you still manage to do them, annoyingly better than the maids. When he demanded you cook him a full course meal, you did so all by yourself, and had the servants looking at you like you were some goddess.

He ripped a hole in his clothes then made you mend it. You covered the hole so seamlessly that he poked a bigger one right in front of you. And even then you don't give him the satisfaction of getting angry. You tell him you will embroider something on top of the hole and he storms off. He overhears you telling the servants, who applaud your level-headedness, that you were used to angry men, because your father was just the same.

You use each of these moments to somehow tell him you were the perfect wife and he had to oblige your stupid request at some point.

But then he found your flaw.

Aegon asked you to play the harpsichord for him, and you told him you did not know how. The woman who knew all did not know something? He would then proceed to hang this over your head. When he asked you for food, he'd tell you how much better it'd taste if he had entertainment. If he asked you to do something physically taxing for him, he's say that he wouldn't have asked you to do it, had you known how to play his 'favorite' instrument. He would use this as the reason why he could never bring you to Grey Cliffs.

It was all fun and games, but then you had to snitch, hadn't you?

"What are you doing to that poor girl!" Queen Alicent barked, making his ears ring.

Aegon groans from where he lies in bed. His mother rips the blankets off him, making him wake in a sour mood.

"She is your wife!" Alicent yells, "not your slave! Fine, you wish her to do tasks for you, tasks for your betterment. But to insult her standing by treating her like a maid is beneath a prince, Aegon!"

Aegon feels his throat tighten at the sight of his angry mother's face, "she is my wife," he growls, "I do with her as I please."

She strikes his cheek.

Aegon's head whips to the side. He doesn't have the energy to look back at her.

"You will no longer parade her as a cupbearer. I will have it decreed you are not ever served a drop of wine if you don't."

Alicent leaves after this. Aegon's anger explodes when the door closes.

He screams and rips at his hair. He kicks furniture around and eventually drops to the floor, exhausted, furious, and hurt. This was all your fault.

He screams again and claws the tears on his face. He slowly exhales through tight lips. His cheek is hot with saltwater. Who was he joking, this was all him.

This was all Aegon's doing.

His breathing is impeded by snot. He walks over to his window and stares at the ground below. If he jumps head first, not even the best maester in Westeros could fix him.

Before he can lean on the ledge, he is paralyzed in his spot by the sound of the door opening.

"I did not know she would be angry with you," you say.

Aegon looks back.

You see his red eyes and wet skin. He is a mirror to your younger self. You feel sick to your stomach. You try to explain, "I only asked if she could find a harpsichord teacher. I did not realize she would take offense in wanting to learn to play for you."

Aegon's heart aches at your naïve response. You were a stupid, perfect wife, and he, a stupid, petulant husband.

"I'm better off dead," he mumbles, looking back out the window. The call of the fall felt inviting, "want to push me, wife?"

You don't respond.

Aegon looks back at you, and suddenly you're only inches away. He tries to evade you, but you manage to catch his hand.

"We could jump together."

"What?"

Your face is blank. You part your lips, and for a moment, your eyes seem desperate, but then it's gone. You sigh, "dying is quite lonely," looking down, "I could keep you company."

Aegon stares at you. Tears stream down his face. "You're mad," he sniffles, yanking his hand away.

He walks over to his bed and collapses on it. He wraps himself in a blanket and feels sorry for himself, and angry at you for suggesting such a thing. Even now you want to be perfect by dying with him?

"I am," you mutter.

Aegon watches as you walk over to him. You sit on the floor beside his bed and look at your hands as you rub them.

"I cannot play the harpsichord, because my father does not like noise," you explain, "I was not allowed to make a sound or else I would be punished."

Aegon covers his head with a blanket but keeps his face visible, "he beat you, didn't he?"

You look at him, eyes melancholy, but still, he is the only one crying, "he beat everyone."

Aegon does not respond.

"I can sing though."

His brow raises, "how can you sing?"

"I would practice whenever he was gone, and sing for my mother in secret. It made her happy... happy enough."

He knew there was more to this confession, but he was too tired to ask about it, too tired to shed more tears.

"Would you like me to sing for you?"

"No."

"..."

"..."

"Would you like me to hold you?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

You stand from where you sat and get on the edge of the bed. Aegon watches as you slowly lie beside him. You bring an arm over him and pull him close. Aegon closes his eyes as you bring him into your chest.

You hold him until he falls asleep. Later that night, he asks you to hold him again. He also asks you to sing to him.

Aegon nestles his face in the crook of your neck. He wraps his arms around your torso, digging his fingers between your flesh and the bed. Your hushed voice reverberates in the bedroom, the song you sing is haunting and soothing. The vibrations from your chest lull him to sleep. You feel wetness pool by your clavicle but you make no note of it.

Aegon asks you to hold him the next morning after breaking fast. He asks you to stay with him in bed and to sing to him some more. When you have to leave his side, he asks to join you and waits until he can have you in his arms again.

Aegon becomes your shadow, and follows you around, under the promise of getting to share in your embrace. As you read and review letters or ledgers, your seat becomes Aegon's lap. He sleeps against you while you work without a fuss, cheek pressed against your back, arms fastened around your waist.

Sometimes, he notices the line that forms between your brows while you read and at some point, asks about it. You explain what causes it, and he is unmoved, as he is uninterested in politics that stress you. But when you read out to him, he finds comfort in your voice and asks you to read some. He falls asleep to your calm droning of circumstances he could not care less about. He groans and groggily awakens when you stop. He mumbles against your skin that you continue, pleadingly so.

When you had to leave the Keep for business, Aegon insisted that he joined you. When you brushed his cheek and explained to him why he could not go and that you would not be long, Aegon pushed you away and stormed off. You left without him anyway, and the treachery he felt was so great, he realized then how he could no longer go day to day without you. What was there to do, if you were not there?

And so Aegon desperately rubs his magic lamp and wishes upon you.

He wishes that you never leave without him again once you return.

He wishes that you promise to no longer make plans without him.

He traps you beneath him on your shared bed and wishes to be inside you. He kisses you and wishes to see you completely bared to him.

Aegon's mind is dizzy as he gazes upon the glory of your skin. He kisses your thighs, your hips, your breast, your lips.

Aegon wishes to surrender to you. He wishes that you undress him. He wishes to pull you on his body like a blanket. He wishes to see you take control. He wishes to see you cast your eyes upon him and lay your weight on his body.

He wishes to see you use him, to take what you need from him, to pleasure yourself, and to make him yours. He squeezes your thighs desperately when you moan out his name. This was much more maddening that what he imagined it would be.

He wishes to feel you come undone around him. He wishes he could forever feel the pleasure he did when he comes right after you do.

He wishes to hold you after. And when he holds you, when you lay on his chest and kiss him there, he wishes to never leave this moment ever again. He wishes to sing to you like you've sung to him.

"What are your plans tomorrow," Aegon asks as he draws nothings on your back.

You lift your head from his chest. He looks at you. You smile, "whatever you wish them to be."

He rubs your back and smiles, "I wish to take you to the Grey Cliffs."

Your expression drops, "what?"

He raises a brow at your reaction. You shift on your place. You straddle him again.

He looks up at you, noticing the line between your brows. He rubs your thighs, "you've granted me all my wishes. It's time I grant you yours." He shifts on his elbows and sits himself up, "it's time you meet my mount and-"

"We don't have to," you cut him off, placing your hands on his shoulders.

Aegon examines your expression. He listens to you sigh.

"I'd like to keep you-- wish to keep you..." you correct yourself, pushing him back down.

He looks up at you, feeling your hands rake up his body.

"...just like this," you finish, eyes solemn, lips curving into a soft smile, "I've not felt a thing like this in my entire life."

Aegon takes one of your hands and places it on his cheek. He whispers it like a secret, "neither have I."

You lean down to kiss him, "I wish to keep like this."

He kisses you back.

He is blindsided by how his wishes came to bite him in the arse. It's all crashing down on him. Suddenly, he wishes he didn't actually do any of those things with you.

He most of all wishes he heard you wrong. He wishes you didn't repeat yourself when he stupidly said, "what?"

"I'm with child," you speak slower, less excited yet excited still.

Aegon wishes you didn't look so excited. He wishes he fucking pulled out, but gods, you felt so good-- you feel so good around him, he felt so good inside you.

He realized the next moment, it couldn't be helped. You were going to have to bear his spawn at one point or another. He wishes you didn't have to. He wishes his seed wouldn't take completely. He wishes you don't take it to term. He wishes he won't have to be a father. Fuck.

He realizes he's been too quiet and you were waiting for a response from him. Your face began to twist. Your smile fades.

"Congratulations," Aegon musters. He feels like he swallowed a metal ball. His eyes wander to your belly. He mumbles mindlessly, "I suppose."

Your face falls.

Aegon looks back at you. Your face is devoid of any semblance of the glow it normally holds. You look sick. You feel sick.

"I see," you say, unintentionally allowing him to hear your voice break. Aegon's brows furrow at it.

He shakes his head, "you will be a great mother," he chuckles dryly, "you mother me so well."

You offer him a smile, but Aegon can see how disconnected it was from your eyes. You say, "thank you."

When you leave him after this, he wishes he hadn't said a word. He wishes he just left it at congratulations. He wishes he just pretended like the idea of having a child didn't mortify him and make him sick to his stomach. He wishes he wasn't so ill-suited to be a father.

Ageon no longer wishes for anything after this.

He no longer wishes to hold you, though he so badly wanted to. He no longer wishes to hear you sing, nor does he wish to hear you read to him. He no longer wishes to be around you, though his body urged him to follow you around like the lost soul he was.

He wishes he didn't wonder what you were doing at every moment of the day. He so desperately wishes to rid you from his mind completely that he drowns himself in his first and only true love, alcohol.

Fuck. He wishes he hadn't taken this route to his room. He wishes you hadn't taken this route to wherever it was you were going. He wishes he just turned around and fled like the coward he was, because then, you wouldn't have spoken to him.

"Husband," you curtsey.

Aegon stiffens and uncomfortably avoids your eyes.

You catch it, feeling your chest tighten painfully. You clear your throat and take a deep breath to steel yourself, "I thought you should know that I will be travelling."

Aegon looks at you.

"I have a ship ready and I'll be visiting the Grey Cliffs. Do not wait up for me."

His face falls. He opens his mouth, but doesn't have an opportunity to speak.

"I thought you should also know that I am no longer carrying."

His eyes widen.

"It's not an uncommon occurrence the first few months," you say simply, "I suppose the gods do not wish me to be a mother."

Aegon feels like a murderer. He wants to say something, to apologize, to comfort you, but he can't. He's too taken aback to do a single thing.

He turns into stone when you take his hand. You step forward and place his palm on your chest. Your heart is slow as you speak, "you won't have to worry about anything anymore, Aegon. Today is the end of our shared torment."

Aegon's stomach drops when you kiss him.

His eyes are glassy. You pull away before he can kiss you back. He wants to hold you, but the sadness in your eyes reminds him he is undeserving. You kiss his wrist, "goodbye, my love. I love you."

His heart thumps as you walk away.

Aegon is manic. He basks in the mess he's made and feels crushed by it all.

He finally acts after wasting so much time feeling sorry for himself. You were long out of his sight by the time he started running. This is why he headed to the dragonpit and got on Sunfyre.

"WAIT!" he screams, just as your boat leaves the dock.

Aegon watches as you run to the edge of the boat. He lands Sunfyre and runs as far to the edge of the docks as he could.

"Aegon-"

"Take me with you!" he pleads, "let me be the one to take you to where you must go!"

You look back. The ship stops. The crew brings down a boat and on it, you are rowed back to the dock.

He crushes you in his arms once he reaches you.

"Aegon," you mutter.

"Forgive me," he shudders, "I... I wish you let me do this for you."

"Aegon," your voice croaks. You push him away, "go home."

His heart drops. He breaks away to look at you. Your words feel like a stab at his thorax. It was presumptuous of him to assume you'd want him back, but it doesn't kill him inside any less.

"I've come to realize this is a trip I must go on myself," you mutter.

He shakes his head, "no. Please." He motions an arm out to his mount, "one wish. That I grant you one wish before you throw me away forever is... is--"

Your throat constricts at his words. Tears rush down your eyes, "I'm not throwing you away--"

"Please," he squeezes both your hands in his, "please, let me do this for you."

The flight to the Grey Cliffs is quiet, save for the whoosh of winds and the roars of the golden dragon you both rode. You always imagined it would be freeing, but only now did you know how it freeing it truly felt to fly. You knew now you'd forever chase the euphoric crush of air against your skin.

Aegon, who sat behind you, looks at your form as you outstretch your arms and close your eyes. Your body presses against him, and in this moment, he is unable to hold back from wrapping an arm around you and sparing a kiss on your shoulder. You are snapped out of your trance because of this.

The Grey Cliffs are dark and gloomy when you get there. Aegon realizes when you land that it got its name from the weather conditions.

He helps you down and surveys the area, trying to make out which part of this drear land was so special to you that you wished to go here.

You catch his expression and squeeze his hand.

Aegon turns to you.

You give a solemn look, "the view is better on the edge."

Aegon strokes Sunfyre's cheek, commanding him to stay before you lead him by the hand to the edge of the cliff. Once you get there, he feels queasy looking down at the crashing waves far beneath him. In contrast, you seem comforted by the view. His brows furrow at the deep breath you give out.

When you look at him, his stomach feels it, the comfort you felt upon witnessing the violent waves. Whatever it was that compelled you to this place was the same force that compelled him to kiss you.

He reaches out for your cheek, his other hand coming to you back. He pulls you close. His heart twinges when you stop him from kissing you.

"Aegon-"

"Forgive me," he cuts, "I beg."

You gawk at him. He brushes your hair which was wildly flinging with the breeze.

"You must know by now that I am craven. I lack the spine and the wit to be of any use to you."

Your eyes water. Your lips quiver.

"I would be a hopeless father, worse than my own, no doubt."

"Aegon," you babble as sobs overtake you.

Aegon, himself, succumbs to tears. He wipes the ones streaming down your face before taking a breath, "but you made me feel a love I do not deserve."

You swallow a heavy lump in your throat.

"I love you," he confesses.

"No," you pierce his heart. You shake your head in disagreement, "Aegon, this is a mistake. Bringing you here was a mistake."

"No!" he blurts louder than needed, "this was a choice," he looks down, "I choose to rip my insides out for you to devour. I am miserable, much more in the heat of your hate, but most of all without you."

His downturned eyes land on your face when you grab his wrists. You croak, "I do not hate you."

Aegon is not relieved by the admission, but he chooses to believe you mean it. He smiles softly, "good."

"But I do hate this life I live."

He clenches his jaw. Of course you do.

"You saved me," you press a hand on his cheek, taking your turn to wipe his tears, "even if for a moment."

"I made you miserable."

You chuckle. The sound makes his heart skip.

"You filled my life with purpose," you smile softly, "even when you did not mean to."

Aegon knits his brows deeply and takes your hands. He brings them to his lips and kisses them.

"But accidents happen. You must remember that accidents happen all the time."

Aegon shakes his head, "this is not an accident. Believe me when I say I chose to do this, I- ... I choose to love you."

You sob and turn to your feet.

"Please... believe me."

You sniffle and nod, slowly looking up at him, "I believe you."

You lunge into his arms and seal him into a tight hug. He hugs you back like it's his only way of surviving.

A crack of thunder startles Sunfyre. He becomes restless and steals away Aegon's attention, panicked that he might flee and leave them here.

He pulls away and takes a step towards her. He holds your hand, urging you to follow, "we should go before it rains."

You hug him from behind and press your face into his back, "thank you for taking me on Sunfyre."

"It was a long time coming."

"I've always wondered what it would be like to fly. And now that I know how peaceful it is, I'm ready to fly one last time."

He turns to you as you slowly come to his side. You hold his hand. He looks at you as you turn to Sunfyre. He promises, "I will take you on dragonback as many times as you wish."

You smile, but your eyes are fixed on his dragon. You release his hand and wrap your arms around yourself, "he is beautiful. You must never tire looking at him."

Aegon gazes upon Sunfyre. He takes in his golden scales and has newfound appreciation.

You take a step back.

"He is. To be honest, it's been long since I, myself, took him out of the pit. He must enjoy this day as much as you do."

"Aegon, you must understand that what I have to say has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me."

Aegon turns to you. He watches you tighten your arms around yourself. You must be cold. He rubs your shoulders.

You shake your head and turn him back to his dragon, "look at Sunfyre."

He knits his brows, "I'm looking."

"For so long," you release him, "I've wanted to fly free, to find my peace here in the cliffs. This was before I even met you." You point at the golden dragon, "I choose to love you too, but accidents happen, like if Sunfyre were to fly away, and you were to be left here alone."

Aegon stares at his ride for a moment as you lower your hand. He tries to makes sense of your words, but he cannot for the life of him understand.

He sighs, "what accident? Why do you keep-"

Aegon is flooded by confusion when he turns and finds you nowhere behind him. A split second later, he lets a horrified scream and the fear that claws into him makes his knees buckle. He crumbles to the ground and crawls to the edge of the cliff. He screams so loud that Sunfyre roars back and comes towards him.

Aegon watches as the red seafoam bubbles at the foot of the cliff. He watches as the crimson waves slowly slosh back into its original tint.

Rain begins to pour, and his tears taste no longer salty.

Was this the flying you ached for? Was this the relief you sought?

When he returns to King's Landing, dripping wet, he breaks down in front of his mother, weeping as he clutched his skirts.

Queen Alicent is obviously disturbed. She instructs her servants to get his son a change of clothes and some towels. She looks down at him, "what's happened? What's wrong, Aegon?"

"An accident-" he barely manages to say, "there's been an accident."

"An accident?!"

Aegon's mind goes blank. A bitter taste

You don't know what you have until it's gone.

[orionremastered]

hi! I was wondering how the bats would be with a reader who is disabled or has prosthetics? they're all just very protective of people they care about since...everything, and how maybe that could start to feel sufacating at some point? Or something, idk dude

(also-the way you write is realy cute and sweet for all of them, makes them feel a lot less heavy when they have someone to hold them <33)

Masterlist

Batboys with a Disabled S/O

Dick Grayson [Fully Deaf]

A gentle touch on your shoulder prompts you to slowly turn around, a smile stretching across your face when you realise your boyfriend's back from work.

You pull him into your arms, threading your fingers through his hair. Pulling away reluctantly, you give him a kiss on the tip of his nose.

But he's not smiling; only a sad smile that makes you tilt your head in a silent question.

Don't worry about it, he signs. Have a good day?

You nod, though your frown remains when he moves to the kitchen, always adamant that he cooks whenever he's home. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, frowning at the caller ID and puts the phone on speaker as he begins cooking.

Dick gets more and more angry as the conversation goes on, his hands waving wildly around the small kitchen, only stopping to return to the cooking.

Finally, he hangs up. You tap him on the shoulder and he turns, watching as you sign;

Who was that?

Dick's shoulders raise and drop. A case I'm working on. I'll figure it out.

You nod slowly, satisfied with his response.

Jason Todd [Fully Blind]

Mornings with Jason always start like this. They always start with you gently running your fingers across his face, mapping it out and imagining it in your head. Over his nose, his lips, his stubble.

"Did you clean the apartment?" you ask, lying on top of him as your guide dog sits next to you on the mattress. "I almost knocked one of your guns off the counter yesterday."

"I did," he murmurs. You rest your fingers on his lips and feel that they're stretched into a smile. "I'm sorry for letting it get messy."

"That's okay," you reply quietly, "Ollie picked it up before it hit the floor."

Ollie, your guide dog, makes a huffing sound beside you, causing you both to chuckle.

"Good boy," Jason says proudly, feeling him shift underneath you, mostly likely to pat Ollie.

"You're both good. Too good, maybe."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jason asks.

"Hmm."

Tim Drake [Classical Ehlers-Danlos syndrome]

"Love? Can we go for a camping trip on the weekend with my friends?"

Tim turns his head slowly as he sits in his study chair. He taps the pen he's holding against his lips. "What happens if you get exhausted?"

"We can go back to the tent and rest."

"You can get bruises. A lot of bruises," he frowns, gesturing for you to walk to him. You comply.

"That's fine, they're just bruises," you respond, sitting on his lap. He begins gently drawing shapes on the bare skin of your thighs.

"You could dislocate something," he says to you, quieter now.

"You know how to put it back. You do it for me all the time."

Tim's brow furrows at the reminder of having to put back in dislocated joints more often than he'd like. "Fine. But if you even start to get a little tired, you tell me. Okay?"

You rest your forehead against his and murmur, "Okay."

Damian Wayne [Prosthetic Arm]

"I'll take those—"

"Damian, I love you, but I can put shopping bags into the car just fine." This and many similar conversations have been going on practically since the start of your relationship. And while you do find it endearing that he cares, sometimes you just want him to treat you like you didn't lose your right arm in an accident.

The man scowls. "But—"

"I'm not going to hurt myself, really."

He watches you warily, weighing the outcomes of the situation. "Fine. Only the lighter ones."

You suppose it's better than not being able to do any of them. Still, he watches you like a hawk as you put the lighter ones in the back of the car he bought you (you protested but that man has the most selective hearing).

He closes the trunk/boot after the bags are inside.

"Can I drive?" you ask, hoping you'll get luck there too.

"No."

"I know how."

"No."

[billk4ulitzsecretlvr]

☆ |` There's A First

For Everything... `| ☆

By billk4ulitzsecretlvr

☆THIS FIC CONTAINS : 2012!Tom x 2008!Bill . Fluff / slight smut .not realy . ,mainly fluff .

AUTHORS NOTE ☆; Hi :] I have not written in so long but ,I am back now . I wanted to write this as a cute fluff to write ,after I spoke with a anonymous about favorite eras ,and I just think this is cute idea . Also !I am using Bills viva comet 2008 look for this:)

Enjoy ,! Or don't ;) .

Bill and Tom had just gotten back from dinner, a nice restaurant. It was a Friday, nothing out of the ordinary for the brothers.

It was a quiet night, calm and collect.. which Bill was always a fan of. Sure, he liked parties and high energy, but with Tom, he liked the quiet and sensual feelings of their presences together.

Tom was driving, fitting evenly in the Cadillac. One hand was on the steering wheel whereas the other was on the arm rest. He flicked his tongue over his lip ring, the man's long dreads fell over his shoulders. Toms body was adorned in baggy jeans of course, and a V-neck shirt that seemed especially tight around his chest.

It didn't go without notice by Bill, but after all.. nothing really seemed to. Bill loved Tom, he'd give the man the moon if he could. It was only natural that Bill spent all the time he could with Tom to just ogle him and admire his older brother.

Speaking of Bill, he sat small in the Cadillac seat. His knees were to his chest as he averted his eyes out the window, the bright city lights of Berlin reflected saturatedly in his pupils.

He was small, Tom had a lot of muscle mass.. whereas Bill was thin, boney, Tom loved touch him. He was so easy to squeeze, to coddle.. he was so much smaller than Tom. It made him feel in charge, to know his physique was enough to intimidate Bill.

Bill had a decent length of black hair, it framed his face nicely and softly. His clothes didn't sit uncomfortable tight on his body, but it definitely showed off his form. He leaned against the car door.

Once Bill and Tom pulled into the drive way, each of them slugged themselves out of the car and into the house.

Bill had moved in with Tom just a few months back, living with their parents had become a little too much for him and Tom had offered anyhow.

Bill greeted their dog, Scotty. He crouched down and pet the dog, smiling softly yet tiredly.

Tom smirked, petting Bill's hair in a teasing way as Bill stood up. The man kissed Bill's soft lips, a long and appreciating kiss.. which Bill reciprocated. He felt Tom touch his lower back and pat it a couple times to let him know to let go, and once Bill did.. he grabbed Bill's hand and took the boy upstairs.

When they were upstairs, in the master bedroom doorway, they began to kiss again.. a bit more passionately.

Their tongues touched repetitively, Tom's tongue grazing Bill's tongue ring as they both fought for some sort of control. Tom's hands ran down Bill's dainty waist.. touching the back of his thighs as the boy tripped back over the bed.

Tom smirked again, pushing Bill back and kneeling between the youngers legs. One knee on the bed, the other foot keeping him planted on the ground.

Toms long locks fell over his shoulders and dangled between their chests, tickling Bills neck enough to make him recoil a bit and smile.

He touched Tom's muscular arms, feeling his warm skin where the T-shirt sleeves ended. He sighed softly, feeling Tom break the kiss to tickle his neck with his tongue.

"Tom," he giggled quietly.

Tom snickered, trailing his kisses up to Bill's ear and nibbling on his earlobe.

Bill bit his lower lip softly, looking up at Tom, who was still cornering him against the bed. Tom had eventually pushed Bill up on the bed, enough so that he could crawl between bills knees and smother the boy in affection.

The boy kept his hand on Tom's head, keeping his mouth against his neck.. Bill felt the soft stubble of toms facial hair, which he was always strangely fond about?

He felt Tom press his body into his own a little bit, causing the boy to tighten his knees on toms waist.

Tom grabbed Bills legs and pulled him tighter around his own waist, pressing their groins together as the boys focused on making out.

Bill felt slight pressure in his groin region, frightening him just a bit before he realized it was Tom pressing on him. He bit toms lower lip and looked down at their bodies after pulling away, feeling himself grind slightly against Tom.

"So pretty," Tom muttered, "So small." He said softly.

Bill looked down at his thin body in comparison to Tom's more muscular one, finding he enjoyed the physique difference quite a bit.

"I could break you like a stick," he joked, pinching Bill's tummy.

Bill giggled, swatting toms hand away. Tom soon replaced that hand near Bills face, pushing his bangs out of his face. Tom kissed Bill's cheek, but eventually bent down to push Bill's shirt off to kiss his stomach, Bill cupping his face. He quietly gasped when Tom kissed his stomach, arching his back slightly.

Tom held his arms around Bill's waist tightly, keeping him in place.

He licked Bill's star tattoo, sucking on the skin and leaving a small hickey. The man brought his face down to Bills jeans, licking up the tight fabric which put Bills head in a haze.

Bill closed his eyes; he felt butterflies in his stomach as Tom did so.. since Tom's face had never been so close to Bills lower region before. Bill caressed Tom's hair as the man worked.. but he wasn't sure if he was completely fine with this.

He zoned out until he felt the cool air on his lap, Tom had pulled his pants down enough to show his briefs.. the thin, stretchy fabric leaving his lower body just slightly colder than the rest due to the decrease of coverage.

Bill pushed Tom's hands away, his eyes a bit wide.

"Tom-" he paused. The man stopped in his tracks, looking up at Bill.

They had never quite gotten this far.. as weird as that seems, they'd been living together for all their lives.. but since they moved into Tom's flat, you would have thought that the boys would have gotten up to things.. but it seemed like the recency of their relationship was being taken slow.

Theyd made out plenty, kissed plenty.. but other than simply getting quite comfortable with each other's torsos.. nothing really took place.

"Yeah? Are you alright?" Tom asked, his expression tender as he looked down at Bill.

Bill nodded, "I'm just.. not sure if I want to take things far like that yet." He clarified.

Tom smiled softly, "We don't have to," he mumbled.

Bill nodded, looking up at Tom. He stayed quiet against the bed, watching Tom move up to kiss his tummy again.. the familiar sensation was one of Bill's favorites and he knew that.

"Why don't we just lay down?" Tom asked quietly, Bill's sleepy eyes agreed. He nodded again.

Tom moved from between Bill's knees, propping himself up to lay next to the boy. Bill couldn't be bothered to rebutton his pants.. so he just kicked them off along with his shoes, laying on his side as he faced Tom.

Tom reached his hand out to play with Bill's hair, which the younger always enjoyed.. Tom had inevitably pulled the boy close, pressing their bodies together as he littered Bill's neck with kisses.

"You're so cute," he whispered, combing a hand through the boys hair.

Bill smiled, biting his lip as he put a hand on Tom's hair, rubbing his locks.

Bill had ended up on his back again, Tom laying between his legs as the man sucked dark spots onto his neck.. he held toms head close as they just relaxed.. letting the night soothe their stress as the brothers calmly enjoyed each other's presence.

[morverenmaybewrites]

Hi babes, long time no see....? (Not realy, not truly. But i'm bored and in need of the weight your words press evenly onto my lungs. And i also want to poke you, maybe)

What would be the prise and/or compliments Jason could be fine with? To you, with our delivery girl. Because anything phisical feels dependent on the day, how Aware and squeezy it'll make him. (Like how you suddenly remember that there's clothes on your skin and that your organs move inside of you. That you're Breathing and that it pulls at your muscles, the tissue that's marbled in tapestried along his ribs.)

What would Not do that? (Less so atleast. See: Like skin growing over a splinter istead of rejecting it.)

Also!

This. Made me feel the sudden ache of my heart durring that time in my life. 'S cool. Thanks. 👍

Always so good to hear from you, @thebluespacecow. First off, The Shape of Water is one of my comfort watches/reads. The book, in particular, encapsulates the feeling of isolation from society and the suffocating loneliness that comes from it so well. The quote (said to the Asset by the scientist studying him) so perfectly portrays their relationship and the tragedy of what could have been. The text often refers to (and eventually confirms) that the Asset is a god. It often calls him beautiful and magical and wondrous. Can you imagine finding god, in all his grace and savage beauty, and being told that you must study him like an insect pinned to a corkboard? Can you imagine finding proof of the divine, only to be told to burn it down so that the charcoal of its bones can help fuel a war? It's so tragic. One day that Bucky Barnes Shape of Water!AU WILL come into existence. ONE DAY. Anyway. Your question. What would be the prise and/or compliments Jason could be fine with?

I actually think that Jason would be fairly receptive to praise, actually! It doesn't immediately put him on the defensive the way physical forms of affection would. And for most of his life, Jason didn't get much of either. He craves it, however unknowingly, like a man dying of thirst would crave rainwater.

I think the first time you praise him, however small, however innocuous, would always come as a surprise. He's just not that used to it. Maybe he opens a jar for you or point out, where, exactly you had put the spices. (He is, at least, somewhat aware of how much he pays attention to you.). "Thanks, Jason, you're always so helpful." The words scatter from you like birdseed, there and gone again. It barely disturbs the still air of the kitchen. But Jason freezes, and slowly turns to look at you. You're not even looking at him anymore. Instead, you are focused on the recipe you're reading, mumbling to yourself. (In his experience, praise does not come so easily. It comes from long hours of training to perfect his aim, from endless nights of study, it comes from a grueling patrol, done perfectly, to Batman's exacting standards.) (In his experience, he barely does anything praise-worthy at all. He is, after all, the Robin who failed.) The moment passes, and he is able to brush it off. But your words linger in his mind like a thorn, only the sensation is not so unpleasant. The next time you do it, Jason is a little more prepared. Maybe he comes up with a clever solution to a problem, taken down a villain in an unconventional way. And you say it in between fits of laughter (and even the sound of that warms him like a fire in winter). "That was smart. I never would have thought of that." Jason pauses, has to catch his breath. And he mumbles out an answer so low that it's unlikely that you heard it. "Thanks." After that, it gets easier. After that, he seeks it out like a cat seeking out a beam of sunlight (or perhaps, more accurately: like a starved dog seeks out scraps). "You never told me you were such a good cook." "It's nice having you around. You make me feel safe." "You look good today." The last one though, hits like a punch to the gut. It knocks the wind out of Jason, and he has to take several seconds before he can answer.

"What?" You look up from the book you are reading. (It is raining the way it always is in Gotham, and you had chosen to spend the afternoon inside. Curled up with a thick blanket on your lap, in a sweater that is big enough for you to drown in—he would not question it if the compliment had been directed at you. He would have taken it as your due.) "Hm? I said you look good today." Again, he does not answer. Instead, he looks down, as if expecting to find himself wearing someone else's skin. But he is wearing his outfit, it is the Red Hood's helmet in his hands. For the first time, you seem to have realized the effect your words have on him. "Well, don't get a stroke," you say with a grin. "I don't want you coming back here and saying you're leaving me for a supermodel or something." He lets out a strangled laugh, and tries to brush it off the way he did in the kitchen, all those months ago. He turns away and tries to pretend like your words don't haunt him like a ghost. You said he looked good. You said he looked good. (And after all, what reason would he have to doubt you? He trusts you more than he trusts himself.) He finds that he has to put on his helmet to hide his grin.

[daydreamgoddess14]

Here she is! 🎉

Ella Cole - the only reject at Slough House to view her banishment as a fresh start and a chance to change her life for the better. Ella never again wants to draw attention to herself the way she did at the Park, but the past has a nasty habit of catching up with even the most cautious of people, and Ella is about to find out that keeping herself distanced from everyone is no guarantee she can keep them safe.

Taglist: @theskytraveler @moonmaiden1996 @acrackintheteacup @succulentthief

Masterlist

Warnings: *I want to be super clear on warnings so this might give away a handful of spoilers* Mentions & depictions of DV (not graphic or laboured), minor mentions of SV (not dubcon or rape, more like coercion and 'feeling obligated'), stalking, impact of all of this shit on a child, OFC is a single mother so there are depictions of motherhood. My inbox is open if you have any questions or want to talk 😘

The Escape Artist - Chapter 1

Six months. For Ella Cole, it had been six months of living hand to mouth, trying to pay for flats, bedsits or house shares with mould on the walls and mushrooms growing out of the carpet. Drug dealers on the stairs, unlicensed dogs barking night after night, bits of kids more than half her age with flick knives and vapes. She didn't bother them, and they didn't bother her. She knew this world and understood the ecosystem and flashpoints. She leaned against the front door and wiggled the key, the only way to get it to lock properly. It was still early, quiet in the stairwell bar one other person who kept his hood up and his hands deep in his pockets. 

“Lend us a tenner, El?” 

“I'm skint Dozzer, sorry.”

“Just till tomorrow?”

“No, Doz. Get down the clinic when they open, they can get you something to get you through the day.”

“Ain't allowed in there this week. ‘Ad a row with the security gaffer.” He sniffed.

“They'll kick you out for good if you keep that shit up. I've got to go, ask Mike.”

“Thanks anyway, bab.” She didn't see anyone else on the way out. The girls would still be sleeping, false lashes caked in mascara and lipstick stains bleeding into the soft lines around their mouths. She had to get out of this block, she'd only accepted it out of desperation. The black mould on the walls of the last place stank and it was wreaking havoc with her lungs. Putting her foot on a mushroom growing out of the carpet was the last straw, but after two months she'd also had enough of bumping into addicts and sex workers in the corridors, and she was sick of the girls pimp trying to enlist her. The fellas would love ya, you could make a killin’ babe he told her. Despite the early hour, the smell of weed in the building entrance was overwhelming. 

“Ugh.” A small voice next to her complained. She'd stayed quiet so far. She wasn't always keen on Dozzer, even less so when he was after money. 

“I know, baby, it's gross.” Ella wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders and guided her out into the street. “It's cold, zip your coat up.” If there was ever a reason to get out of their current accommodation situation, she was it. 

“Can we go to the cafe?”

“Not today, you're in breakfast club.” They navigated the street, avoiding puddles from the never-ending rain and bags of uncollected rubbish. Ella checked her watch, late again. She only had half an hour to get to the school and then on to Slough House. Lamb never said anything if she was late, just an arched eyebrow and withering stare. She still had no idea how much he knew - or didn't know - about her. She'd certainly not told him anything. She hadn't told any of them, six months of polite-ish conversation and pointed silence. Grabbing the girl's hand, Ella dashed out onto the pedestrian crossing outside the school. An approaching car slammed on its brakes and sounded the horn. Ella spun around to face the driver.

“It's a fucking crossing, you twat!” She yelled. The driver glared at her. The driver she recognised glared at her, and then quickly realised that they knew her. “Fucking hell, Cartwright, you trying to kill us?” She raised her middle finger and continued across the road and into the school gates. She waited at reception for the breakfast club staff and said her goodbyes. As she walked back towards the road, she saw his car parked up across from the school. He beeped the horn once and gestured for her to get in. 

“Sorry, I was miles away.” He said as she got into the passenger seat. 

“My own fault. I shouldn't have rushed us out.” She muttered. “We were running late.” He didn't say anything. He merged with the traffic and drove in silence to Slough House. “I didn't mean to call you a twat,” she said as he went to open his door once he'd parked up. 

“Yeah you did. You gave me the finger after you'd recognised me.”

“Yeah I did,” she replied sheepishly. “Can you umm… can you not tell anyone?”

“About giving me the finger?”

“About her.” 

“Sure.” He shrugged. “Does she… does she have a name? Am I allowed to know?”

“Thanks for the lift.” She ignored the question and slammed the car door, trudging up the death stairs of Slough House. 

“Oh, on time I see? Just about.” Lamb sneered. He perched on the edge of Ho's desk. 

“Just about is still on time,” she told him on her way past. 

“Fucking hell, a Cartwright on time as well. You pair are spoiling me today, am I dying?” He jeered as River shoved the heavy door open. 

“God I hope so.” River muttered, dragging himself up the stairs behind Ella. By the time he'd stopped off to see Louisa, Ella had made a cup of tea for herself only, and pulled on noise cancelling headphones. “Make my own then, shall I?” He dropped into his wobbly, missing-a-wheel office chair and got stuck into the files Catherine had left on his desk. An hour later, Ella looked up from her files to fingers clicking in her face. She frowned and pulled off the headphones. 

“Yes?”

“You haven't said anything for like, an hour.”

“I'm working?”

“Well, yeah but -”

“Did you want something?”

“Can I ask a question?” She didn't reply so he went ahead. “What's her name? How old is she?”

“That's two questions.” He waited, expectantly. “She's eight.” Ella sighed. 

“And?”

“You'll take the piss out of her name so I'm not telling you.”

“You really think I'm in a position to take the piss out of someone's name?” She pursed her lips to hide the small smile. 

“Her name is Clover.” She braced for laughter, or a derogatory sneer which didn't come. 

“It's nice.”

“Nice?”

“Yeah, cute. Very hippy, I don’t envy teenage Clover. Did you choose it?”

“I did. I thought… I hoped she'd bring me luck.”

“Is that why you're here? Bad luck?” She shook her head slightly and put the headphones back on. End of conversation. “Right. Good chat, at least twenty more words than usual so that's progress.” Her head had dipped again, back to the files. 

“Are you talking to yourself?” Shirley asked from the doorway. 

“No, I'm talking to… her,” he trailed off miserably when it was clear Ella wasn't listening at all. 

“Twat. Lamb wants you.”

“Two twats in one day. I am a lucky boy,” he sighed, leaving Ella alone. 

*

As much as Ella appreciated Clover's preference for the sex workers over the drug addicts in the small block of flats, it made it somewhat trickier to explain why she wasn't allowed to pop and show them her freshly painted nails - which they always loved to see - or why she couldn't hang out at their flat for any longer than it took to say hello in the corridor.

“Why do they always have visitors?” She grumbled, admiring the purple glitter polish Ella had let her have on for the weekend. 

“Because that's their job lovey, their visitors pay to come and… play games together.”

“Like monopoly?”

“Something like that.” Ella mumbled, head halfway in the oven which wouldn't light. She idly wondered how long the gas would take to kill her, then she remembered she hadn't paid the bill. “Shit.”

“What's up?”

“McDonald's for tea. Get your shoes on.” Ella sat back on the kitchen floor, stained with god knows what, and always sticky no matter what miracle cleaning products she brought. It had to get better than this. Surely it had to get better than this. She gritted her teeth, breathing in short huffs to try and keep the tears at bay. She'd felt a pang of terror after giving away Clover's name to Cartwright. For six months she'd been so careful, not daring to speak about her to anyone just in case, just in case, it somehow reached other ears. She had no way of knowing who Cartwright was in with. He appeared above board, but didn't they all? In sleep deprived delirium, she'd even researched how to change Clover's name via deed poll. She hadn't slept properly for nearly a week, hadn't paid the gas bill, but she had a fiver in her pocket and a handful of change - enough for a kids meal and maybe something for herself if she was lucky. She leaned into the door and wiggled the key, and led Clover out, passed the congregation of kids on the stairs and straight into the girl's pimp.

“Alright, El? Still got a job for you if you want it?”

“No thank you Pav, payday on Monday. I'm sure I'll get by til then.”

“A loan then? You don't even have to pay me back in cash,” Pawel Wójcik leered at Ella, a rolled cigarette caught between his teeth. 

“Nope.”

“They love a milf ya know? Could get you forty quid a go?” Forty quid sounded like a lottery win but Ella stood fast. She held Clover's hand tightly.

“Bye, Pav.” She kept it polite, always kept it polite. He wasn't a man she wanted to upset or demean, she didn't have to work for him, he still had the ability to make her life miserable. She hadn't realised how much of a sliding scale ‘miserable’ was. She'd been miserable before but at least they'd been warm and well fed. She hadn't had pimps offering her work or addicts asking for cash. Bills were paid, and Clover had her own room. It wasn't going to be for long, she soothed. She was fighting hand over fist to get back the security deposit from the flat before. The letting company were trying to lay the blame for the mould on her and were holding onto the deposit to pay for the flat to be cleaned. Another call on Monday to get them to pay up and once they did she'd be back on her feet again. Assuming she made it to Monday. They huddled in bed together, even with the lack of sleep Ella finally felt peace. Her baby in her arms, too old really to be sleeping in her mother’s bed but when there was only one bed the options were limited. Ella thought it funny how Clo proclaimed to be a big girl who wanted her own room back, her own bed back, but who suddenly became so small again when it came to bedtime. Her stomach rumbled, the small burger she’d managed to scrape together the change for wasn’t really enough. She hoped the girls down the hall would be up in the morning, they usually had plenty of bread for toast. Pawel wouldn’t allow them to go hungry, it was bad for business when the sounds of hunger got in the way of the blow jobs. 

“Fuck me, you look like shit.” Sofia told her the next morning through a cloud of cigarette smoke.

“Can we borrow some bread til tomorrow?”

“Sofia, look at my nails!”

“Oh Clo, they look beautiful! Why don’t you ladies come in for a cuppa.”

“You don’t have any visitors?”

“Nah, we’re free til lunchtime. Don't expect to see Lulu though, she's sleeping off a big night.” Clo raced through the flat to the plush pink velvet sofa and flicked on the TV. Sofia put a gentle hand on Ella’s arm. “Rough week?”

“Awful. I need to call that letting agent again tomorrow, if I had that money back we’d have a safety net. I wouldn’t be hunting for fucking change to take to McDonalds.”

“Can you even pay cash there anymore?” Sofia put a huge mug of tea down on the table. Ella cleared her throat, nodding over at the draining board which was laden with dildos. “Sorry, washing up. I’ll hide these.”

“Please don’t make me explain to an eight year old what a dildo is.” Ella grimaced. With the dildos away, a plate piled high with buttered toast made its way to the table. Ella ate until she felt sick.

“Better?”

“Thank you. I’m sorry we had to come to you.”

“Don’t be. I’d rather look after you two than a fifty year old on viagra,” she shuddered. “Heart attack waiting to happen - and my first aid at work is not up to date.”

“You haven’t heard anything?”

“If he’s out, everyone’s keeping it quiet. I’ll tell you if I hear otherwise.” As Ella left, Sofia pushed a twenty pound note into her hand. 

“I can't take -”

“You can, you will.”

“I'll pay you back.”

“You won't. I've been there babe, I promise it'll be worth it.”

*

“Cole, with me.” Lamb ordered as lunchtime drew near on Monday. Ella's face fell, she'd planned a Subway payday treat before her wages were swallowed by bills and school clubs. She glanced over at River who shrugged and then followed Lamb outside, down the stairs and round the corner into the Chinese restaurant. His usual order was on the table already. “Whatever the girl wants.” He told the staff.

“Oh, no I'm fine.”

“You ain't paying, I know you’re broke.” Ella blushed. “Saw you nicking biscuits from Ho's desk for breakfast last week.” 

“Chow mein please.” She mumbled, eyes tracing the red gingham tablecloth.

“Get her some other bits as well, will ya? Put it on my tab. Now, what I'm trying to work out is why you're so broke. It's not the old fizzy lifting powder, you're not as twitchy as Dander. Longridge is the resident gambler -”

“Just had a few big bills this month.”

“Why are you here?”

“Why are you asking me? You could just find out from the Park. Or Ho.”

“I'm asking you,” he said sternly. After a few sloppy bites of noodles, he softened. “Look, you don't seem as brain dead as the rest of the idiots upstairs. You've done everything I've asked for six months, and stuff I haven't asked for, you haven't complained, you've had your head down and got it done. Some people far more stupid than me might actually think you were enjoying it.”

“Believe it or not, I am.”

“But why?” She pushed the chow mein around her plate. 

“I was married. I am married, actually. He's a big deal in organised crime, moves things around, makes things disappear. Money, drugs, people, gold, you name it. The Park were watching the gang, he made me doctor some images and change some tracking details to throw them off. Taverner found out it was me.”

“Did they get him?”

“Only on a lesser charge. A few of the lads went down for him on the big stuff.”

“He’s a bully then. Must be if he got his underlings to go down for him?” Ella swallowed thickly. 

“Yeah. He doesn't like… disobedience.” 

“Where is he now?”

“Serving a year, but he might be out by now.”

“And Taverner sent you to me. Why didn't she have you charged?”

“My dad is a copper. Between them they made it go away.”

“Bet daddy dearest was happy about that.”

“I wouldn't know, I haven't seen him for years.”

“Disowned and yet he still saved you from the clink, eh?”

“Something like that.”

“What a pickle you're in. A fallen woman, pushed from a life of luxury into squalor. You should write a book. Make sure there's lots of pictures though, otherwise Cartwright won't be able to read it.” He laughed loudly at his own joke and followed it up with a belch. “C'mon eat up. Will he come after you?” 

“I've been staying low, I know a few people who are listening out for me,” Ella thought of Sofia and Lulu, teasing any snippets of information from clients they knew of who had links to him. Lamb nodded, seemingly happy enough with her response. 

“We'll see, shall we? And the money?”

“I ran away with nothing. I've had to get deposits and advance rent together, it's just been a bit hard that's all.”

“Let's call this your six month probationary review, eh? Congratulations, you've passed and it comes with a payrise effective right now.” He pulled a battered wallet from his pocket and handed her a wad of notes.

“No, that's not right -”

“You're on less than the others, even Dander and she's only about twelve. Someone fucked up on payroll. Accept it and say thank you, Lamb.”

“Thank you, Lamb.”

“You're welcome, now this ain't a fucking charity so that's your lot. Sort your shit out and don't bring it to my door.” Ella hesitated, feeling like she should acknowledge Clover somehow. 

“Just so you know, if everything did go to shit -”

“Oh fuck off, Standish can keep your fucking cat if the ex offs you.”

“I have a daughter.” Lamb stared. 

“What do you want? A medal?” His cutlery clattered onto the empty plate. “Alright. Say no more.”

“Thank you.” 

“Don't get all fucking weepy, you're better than that. Pull yourself together and get back to work.” Ella nodded and got up from the table, leaving Lamb alone with the leftovers and his thoughts. 

*

Feeling  buoyed by her conversation with Lamb, Ella took advantage of Cartwright going to get a coffee and called the letting agent. She was halfway through giving them an earful when he returned. She knew he was eavesdropping, the page he was reading hadn't turned despite only having a handful of text on it. Unless Lamb had been right and he couldn't read. 

“Look, you owe me that money, that flat was not fit to be lived in. I have photos from the day I moved in, I have my hospital records which show I had three successive chest infections caused by black mould and I have a solicitor who specialises in getting deposits back from fraudulent landlords. I will put those pictures on every single platform I can and tell everyone that you're putting children at risk.” She kept her voice low but it dripped with anger. The monotonous voice on the end of the phone barely registered her threats. Ella balled her hand into a fist and bit down on it to keep from shouting. She didn't notice River get up from his desk until he was leaning over hers to pluck the phone from her ear. 

“Pay her the fucking money back or I'll be down your office in an hour with the police.” Ella stared, River listened to the response. “I don't give a shit how long it's supposed to take, it's taken long enough.” There was silence again while he waited, tapping his long fingers on her desk. She watched his hand, not daring to look up at him. “Thank you.” He handed her the phone. “Check your account,” he left the call connected while Ella opened her banking app. Her jaw dropped, confirming the payment had been received. He took the phone back again, “That's come through. See how easy it was? Don't let it happen again.” When he passed her the phone again, she flinched. “Sorry, I shouldn't have interfered.”

“It's fine. Thank you.”

“You should go and get the cash out, hang on to it.” Ella frowned. Her new cash is king world was still taking some adjustment. She'd been so used to waving a platinum credit card, her phone, her watch, at a pin machine. She was amazed at how quickly she'd become frugal. The watch and her latest model phone - traded in for a basic handset - had been sold to buy a bed.

“Yeah, you're probably right.” She sighed heavily, an odd feeling settling in her chest that she couldn't quite place. Relief. For the first time in months she felt relieved. 

 

She didn't abandon her vigilance entirely, but between telling Lamb and Cartwright - a duo she never envisaged being remotely trustworthy - the bare minimum, she relaxed enough to be able to sleep at night. She ensured that her private life remained completely private. No one but Lamb knew of her ex, and no one else other than Lamb and Cartwright knew about Clover, and she intended to keep it that way. But she found herself drawn to swapping book recommendations with Catherine, and even the constant arguments between Marcus and Shirley occasionally raised a smile. And then of course, there was Lamb. 

“Turnock’s fucking teacakes?”

“They were out of jaffa cakes.”

“And you see me eatin’ marshmallow do ya?”

“Don’t turn your nose up. What’s the suitable alternative?”

“I dunno Cole, use your brain. Knew I shouldn't have told you you had half an extra brain cell than the others.”

“Hobnobs. Shall I get you some hobnobs?”

“Fucking hobnobs,” Lamb grumbled, pouring a scotch from the fresh bottle he pulled out from the bag. “Least you got the scotch.”

“As if I'd leave you hanging there.” Ella put her hand on the box of teacakes, intent on taking them back downstairs to have one with a cup of tea.

“Leave the teacakes.” He eyed her though the bottom of the glass.

“Thought so.”

“Jaffa cakes tomorrow or you’re out of here. Got it?”

“Jaffa cakes tomorrow.” She agreed. He ripped open the box.

“Oi here y’are.” She caught the airborne red and silver wrapped teacake he threw at her and beamed.

“Cheers, Lamb.”

“Off you fuck, work to do.” Ella slipped through his office door and gave Catherine a wave on her way down the stairs. She managed to find two reasonably clean mugs and made tea, popping one on the desk next to hers and one on her own desk. Headphones on, she unwrapped the chocolate covered marshmallow and took a bite.

“Bit early isn’t it?” 

“Cartwright, there is no early when chocolate is involved.” She dragged off the headset and let it hang around her neck.

“Did you get me one?” 

“Nope.” 

“So that’s how it is?”

“I made you tea.” She popped the last bite into her mouth and nodded at his desk. Next to the mug of tea was a packet of hobnobs. He smiled, small, but a smile nonetheless.

“Thanks, Cole. Still sucking up to Lamb?”

“It’s not sucking up, he actually likes me. You’ll never know what that feels like.” She put her hand to her heart and pouted. “Sucks to be you.”

“See all you've done there is lure yourself into a false sense of security,” he opened the packet and snapped a biscuit in half, dunking it in the tea, “he doesn’t like anyone.” Catherine made her way through the maze of offices with a pile of files. 

“Morning you two. Thank you for the book, Ella, very enjoyable. These are tax returns from the early 90s relating to the Havilland job.”

“Love a dodgy tax return,” Ella gratefully received her half. “I'll bring you the next in the series if you like?”

“Lovely, I've passed the first one onto Louisa.”

“That's great, I told her she'd love it.” Ella smiled. River frowned. 

“Since when is anyone actually nice to each other around here?” He muttered holding the second half of his biscuit in the tea for a fraction too long. It broke off with a solemn plop into the liquid. “Bollocks.” Since Lamb had taken a chance, Ella thought to herself. Since she'd allowed herself to feel the tiniest modicum of joy that she'd managed to escape from hell and had survived. It was far better than the self-flagellation she'd gone for originally, there might be a mountain to climb but she had to celebrate the achievement of making it to base camp. That evening, come 5pm, there was a mass exodus from Slough House and after six shit months and one less shit, almost verging on normal month, Ella felt able to actually smile at her colleagues as they departed. She walked down the slippery stairs with River, into the evening rain. 

“See you Monday,” she said, opening her umbrella. He was looking past her at the bus stop. “Oi, dickhead, see you Monday?”

“Yeah, Monday.” His brow furrowed as he looked not quite at her, his attention still on the bus stop.

“Cartwright?”

“Do you need a lift to the school? It's pissing down.”

“No thanks, I'll live. You're going to the pub with Louisa anyway.”

“You should come next time.” He said, finally looking directly at her. 

“We'll see. I should go.” 

“Have a good one.”

“You too.” He watched her leave, walking in the opposite direction of the bus stop where the figure he'd been watching had vanished. 

Chapter 2

[obitobi-simp]

Jonin obito Au but obito is still a freak

Imagen obito manages to free himself from madara by going inbetween that chidori and being there earlyer he get's coma but he lives

Memory ussus and a lot of CPTSD he's fine anyone woud think he's normal now but he isn't

He's legaly still dead cuz no one ABSOLUTLY NO ONE wants to deal with the absurd amount if paiper work so he legaly is still dead and he abuses the heck out of it and will bring it up every opertunaty he gets

Ppl don't notice he's a freak untill he starts open his mouth and say some wierd fucked up shit like as if he's talking about the waether

Obito: Yaeh the uchiha massacer was wild i got there in time to watch that shit go dowen i was so glad to always have popcorn in kamui

Sasuke : so you didn't nothing while this happned

Obito: sasuke pls i'd never and I didn't do nothing i sat there and watched it while eating popcorn and thinking ' damm didn't know bodys coud move like that'

Sasuke: WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD INSTAD

Obito : many reson ig ? I mean legaly speaking i actuly am dead alrady Oh also i can phase through things and can't realy kill what can't be hit yk

He has nughtmares about " an ugly stinky old witch very ugly and stinky"

Whoever thought giving him 3 genin kids to look after is just as mentaly deranged as obito but dw kakashi us there too cuz legaly it's his team and oh damage controll cuz obito get's urges to be an unhinged problem if he doesn't take his meds and therapy( his therapists need therapists and or are scared of this sweetie with 42 underling mental issus cuz ge's tottaly normal most of the time exept when he isn't)

He's very sweet happy and still a stalker but he has a heart of gold an wierd 10 tailed mini dog thing with 1 eye and a spiral thingy that showes up from time to time obito doesn't know what these things are or where they are from but since they pass the vibe cheack they can stay

Wierd shit happnes to him atlest once a week

Imagen this obito meets the other obitos somehow the convo they have in my head

They all magicly aper on the battlefiel of the 4th shinobi war

Jonin obito on the 4GNWW with other obito variation : WHAT THE HECK WHY DIES THIS WIERD SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME I PROB STARTED A WAR IN MY PREV LIFE OR SOMTHING

White haired (unhinged completly lost it and gave up on sainaty) obito : uhh abt that So who wants to tell him ? 🙂

Tobi: ughh-

All obitos : SHUT THE FUCK UP TOBI NO ONE CARES

(Any obito): not only that (casuly lists all massacers and acts of terrorisem he comitted and or was involved in) 😐

Jonin obito : yaeh sounds like somthing i woud do in theses situations🤔 what why are you all I all ? staring

War arc obito : i fucking hate you go kill yourself or somthing 😠

Jonin obito : Hey what the heck did i do ? ALSO I'M YOU LIKE WTF ?!

White haired obito that got more sane after the war: well we coud just blame everything on trauma but thanx to you fucking asshole we now gotta face the realaty with the fact we are just inhersntly insane with or without being manipulated into it thank

Tobi : wow they hate you more then me

Silance...

Madara finaly : WHAT IN THE EORLD IS GOING ON ?! I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS?!

Jonin obito jumping on his AU kakashi shoulders : AGAAAAAA THE UGLY WITCH FROM MY NIGHTMEARS

The obito thst actuly was in the muddelvifxthe war he started (maby canon obito idk) : yaeh i have a question. My wuestion no 1 is why is other mes hair white ?

Anyone tbh but in my head it's either naruto or kakashi: THAT'S THE QUESTION YOU CHOSE TO ASK IN THIS SITUATION ? There are a lot of things that need answers and you chose to ask /focus on about your fucking haircolour ?! And not like why there are multiple diffret versions of you (and maby kakashi idk kamui shenanigans ig?)

Obito : hey that's a resonoble question cuz last time i cheacked my hair is black

Kakashi: AND LAST TIME I CHAECKED YOU WHERE DEAD

Jonin obito : if it helps i'm legaly speaking still dead

Any obito : that's on you honestly i'm suprised at the shit i got away with

kakashi : TFYM?

Any obito: wait so you actuly never noticed me sitting 3 meters behind you in a bush?

Another obito: or in your Apartment?

Anther obito : oh funny story i'm pretty shure he tottaly saw me that 1 time baised on eye contact but he prob thought i was a hallucination idk (was feeling bored and daering that day/night)

another kakashi apering and smaking one of the white haired obitos in the head with porn: WHAT THE HELL OBITO I LEFT YOU ALONE FOR 5 MIN ?!

That obito : i got bored okay

Kk eye twitching: realy ? You did ? WHEN I SAY DON'T COMMIT TERRORISEM ON THIS PLANET IT WASN'T AN INVITATION FOR YOU TO BECOME A SPACE PIRATE AND BULLY SOME ALIAN GODS (otsosuki) AND EHEN U SAY STOP BULLING ALIAN GODS IT ISN'T AN INVITATION FOR YOU TO DO THIS WHOLE TIMLINE MESSY THINGY LIKE HOW TF DID YOU EVEN DO THIS ? I WAS JUST ON THE TOILETTE FOR 5 MIN ?

That obito : in my defense your instructions weren't very clear and i was bored and i don't like boering why'the heck you think i started a war ? I was bored and wanted shit to finnaly happen

kakashi: DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL consequences?

Obito: . In all honesty you want to know a secret ?most of the shit i do is for keeping me intertained of cuz being " normal " is boering and i don't like boreing i only do the shit i know i get away with anyways it's no big deal but to answer you question it's C O N S E N T

Kks: WRONG that's how you spell consent but i'll let it slid cuz that's importaint too

Ob: realy ? I was messing up on purpose iym a genius

Kk: ...yaeh for that and not like idk inventing time travle but who cares clean that shit up and bring everyone of you back where you shoud be

Ob: i coud do that or Or hear me out i do it completly random and we are gonna watch what happened next ?

Kks: is this gonna affect or timeline in any way shape or form ?

Ob: no not all why ?

Kk okay fine 2 days then you have to make everything normal agin

Ob : only if you buy me dango

Kk: fine let's go get this done with

Litterly everyone completly baffled exepf obito

War arc obito : what ? I've seen wierder shit happen

N: LIKE WHAT COUD PSSABLY BE WIERDER THEN THIS SHIT THAT JUST HAPPEEN ?

obito ignores everything related to that trying to gaslight everyone that was just a filler episide

[fairer-tales]

In Memoriam Headcanons!!

cus i’m still insane about them and want nothing but happiness for our boys

~spoilers for the book ahead-

• In Brazil, Gaunt and Ellwood almost always wear coordinating ties and handkerchiefs (either wearing the same pattern in different colours, or vice versa, or by swapping so that one has the kerchief to go with the others tie)

• Gaunt tried to write a poem about Ellwood once. He got four lines in and got embarrassed with himself and went to box instead. he left the page in her desk drawer and never found it again.

• Contrary to popular belief, Gaunt is a riot at embassy events in Brazil (when he actually joins in conversation). He just makes blunt, usually unwittingly witty comments that make the tipsy embassy blokes roar with laughter (that tism humour fr).

• Ellwood loves to host. in the beginning, it’s to fill the void of living in brazil and the aftermath of the war, but he finds that he really enjoys it. utter peacock.

• Ellwood loves the flowers in Brazil, but he can’t often find some of ones that align with the victorian flower language. So, he invents a new flower language just for him and Gaunt.

• Ellwood, ever spiteful, used to step on the toes of young women who flirted with Gaunt at balls when it was his turn to dance with them. Despite how much it pained him to risk damaging his reputation as an excellent dancer.

• They used to have snowball fights at Thornycrpft when they spent Christmas hols there together.

• Gaunt rarely speaks german, but when he’s particularly drunk, he starts whispering german terms of endearment into Ellwood’s ear. Ellwood doesn’t have a clue what he’s saying but he’s not complaining.

• Having baths together (partly as an inside joke, partly cus <3 )

• I’m sure they would have a pet, but can decide on what animal. i can picture ellwood getting an exotic bird for parlour tricks when he’s hosting, giving it an eccentric name (like Benedict or Florian) but actually getting super attached. Or, Gaunt having a realy pampered cat (probably a white long haired breed). ORRR Gaunt finds a dog that reminds him of his old dog at home and has a ‘can we keep him’ moment

• Gaunt publishes his translations. perhaps he makes them more accessible for people who aren’t getting that upper class public school education, with english translation accompanying the original greek (inspired by his friendship with Hayes). Maybe Hayes reads them and resolves that they’re just ‘decent’

• If they return to england, Ellwood brings his hosting reputation with him, and holds a party upon his return to england and before their departure back to brazil or wherever their travels take them every time. unwittingly attracts a LOT of upper-class queers.

• they get (fake) married one day. they get matching wedding bands in whatever metal matches the other’s undertones (cus this is the type of thing at least one of them knows). they get to cal each other ‘husband’ in the comfort of their own home.

[moonsoupstar-ao3]

How Team Soo's messages are

Kim Rok Soo.

Perfect grammar almost all the time

Formal speech

Specific when joke (but is quite obvious bc he change the speech style and use more "banal" words)

You suck.

(This, above, is a joke. In case I wasn't clear enough.)

Use what CJS called "big textbook nerdy" words

He's just really proud of how many words he knows and want to show off

Send the ALT every time he send photos

Use certain words with different people thinking about the fields they're specialist

Have someone with a master in chemistry, speak almost only in elements with them when posible.

Please bring some CO², if possible.

LSH thinks is adorable, CJS is extremely confused most of the time

All of this bc CJS enjoy taking his phone and text the rest of the Team pretending to be him

It fail almost all the time for a very long time

Does Rok Soo-yah knows that you have his phone?

Please never contact to me again from here unless death or live situation.

Hi, Jung Soo-yah, I hope Rok Soo-yah doesn't kill you for take his phone.

Were the most common responses

Luckily for him, KRS found mess with people (specifically, their team members) the most funny shit ever, so he takes the time to teach CJS super big and unnecessary "only applied to this context" words

CJS is also the one who teach him lots of slang, and make people lives a bit worse

(more than one think about kill him but then realized they would have to fight KRS and LSH)

Get drunk as fuck once and send this to the Team group:

I luv yo all im realy fund find fod FOND to yal tzh fr fir fur FOR be ecsisting

Delete the next day, first and only time he send a text with so many mistakes

Didn't talk to anyone for two days after it

ㅤㅤ

Choi Jung Soo.

Slang.

So many slang, even the oldest in the company feel young again after talk with him

Bunch of text one after another

Looks like the kind of person who doesn't know what the heck is a comma

Random text at 3am

Mess a lot with people

Cryptid messages when bored

Can talk with emojis and make himself understandable

🖐️🧍👆🗣️🚫🏧🆗👍❔

He's also the reason why KRS start using emojis, but he keeps them at minimum and only to make his jokes more obvious

A normal text from him is like:

U knwo

Hyung's gonna do

The dinner 🍽️

Sososososo

He said go take 🥛

In your way back 🏠

Thx 🫂

ㅤㅤ

Lee Soo Hyuk.

Read message one or two seconds after received it, don't answer in like seven hours unless important or from his team

Normal person with randoms and higher ranks in the company

But a totally unhinged bastard with his friends

So. Many. Dad. Jokes

Something even him found them terrible but the idea to make someone regret talk to him is hilarious

He's the one who convinced KRS to let CJS use his phone

Never regret it

He can be intentionally suggestive but only for fun

Everyone knows better than take him seriously

When drunk, he is super straight forward and lewd

Someone try to approach him once in this state and end being persecuted by two rabid dogs

No one try to flirt back with him, even when sober

[blushft]

i showed this one lady a photo of my dog and i was like giggling about my dog like ahhahh dogs are so dumb she has one brain and it is SMALL!!! and then she was like haha so true !! . what is his name ? :) and i was like haha oh her name is cali :))))))))) because that is her name and then the lady was like eerrmrmmm i dont really think dogs have any concept of gender, so it doesnt really matterrrr and i looked at her really awkwardly like i didn't "ccorrect" her or anything before that idk i just call my dog she/her because the vet said she and her and my dog does not give a shit infact that dumb ass eats bird shit off the ground and pukes it up on the couch which is pretty gnarly but not in the good way. gnarly in the icky nasty way . i thnk that we shoul call all dogs and othar animals by whatevar we want to . for example, like i had a rat named tony and he was a "female" rat but it was funny as hell to say TONY BALONEY in a panicked voice when he crawled on my neck and the rat did not give a shit. plus that one actually got rat tumors LATER than the cisgender rat who was named candace like (can this dick joke ) so if anything being trans is pretty fucking cool and heatlhey 1000% better more heatlh. maybe the hamstar that pisses on peopel and bites my father can be a woman if she wants to be one and it makes sense because my fathur is transphobic so if like. if i was a trans animal i think i would bite him too because if he got rabies they would probaly not charge me four murdr in the US court system on account of me being a hamtper and that would be epic. any way my dog cali is NON BINAry because of this altercation and no one can realy tell me other wizse because i dont fuckng care what they say about Cali. she is a dog and she likes to be pet but Do Not pick her up unless you are holding her baby style or she will get angrey and bark at you. she vomited on the coughch last week after eating chicken shit and bugs in the grass outsid e .

this image is my dog that is NON BINARY stay woke, liubareals! 🫶🫶🫶🫶🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️‼️‼️‼️💥🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈👍👍🫶🫡🫡🫡

[whydoibe]

What if jay was working with ras in season 2, part 1 of dragons rising so basic outline jay and jordana relationship is like unwilling friends and bickering siblings? jay is volatile and destructive. jay fights with purpose and intent and ras has taught him to use his words he is nearly as great as manipulator as ras often pocking the bear with a stick that quickly becomes a sword aka jay will bully you till no end. So, to the story.

Arin and sora stood watching the shop until sparks and a bright flash a figure in a dark navy and black with yellow lighting detailing stood his hands waved and suddenly all the lights of the cross roads went out as he walked to the store lighting sparking and shattering the glass and grabbing what looked like a mallet.

Arin and sora drop down blades drawn, ready to fight. The figure turned eyes glowing blue, taking note of their stance correcting his to better counter thiers hands flickered with yellow.

"I suggest you run," he spoke vioce full of venom, "or the power won't be the only things dying tonight." he finished pulling black nunchucks eltricty running along the chain

"What the that's an element?" sora murmed, eyes wide arin nodded they charged at the figure

"You want to dance little kids, let's dance." his yellow detailing started to glow, charging at them blades meeting the chain he was gaing the upper hand until a green glow stricken his side he turned to face the green ninja the ninja turned to sora and arin.

"You guys ok?" Lloyd asked

"Yeah I think so" arin muttered standing up

"Me too," sora added hair hand slightly standing on end.

"Oh, realy 3 on 1 that's not fair Lloyd," the figure snarled, eyes glowing a deeper blue. His hands glowed a bright blue, sparking his nunchucks, taking it in the dragon eyes on each end, glowing a bright yellow as it took in his power.

Lloyd eyes widened. "No, no," Lloyd cried "run" he commanded, grabbing arin and sora riyu following them. The figure cackled and disappeared.

----'

As they returned to the monstary, nya met them seeing Lloyd looking pained.

"What happened Lloyd are you hurt?" nya asked Zane and kai, meeting them

"No, I'm not hurt, but" Lloyd stopped processing what he saw lighting either that was jay, but jay wouldn't.

"But what?" Zane questioned.

"The elemental master was the master of lightning," Lloyd finally admitted the others' eyes widened. "It couldn't be jay he was evil"

--------

The ninjas were fighting Lloyd hyperventilating. That's when the figure in blue smircked under his mask, fighting kai fire and lighting striking each other.

"Your predstor would be very disappointed in you," kai roared fire, striking the figure shacking it off.

"Realy, I'm sure every master of fire would wish it all away to make sure you don't get it," he snarled, lighting stricking kai

"I'll admit it, you have better aim then jay," kai cried fire, blasting the figure dogging.

"Use the mask," ras called the ninja stared as he placed the mask over his hood. ras struck the gong red, growing around the red figure. Suddenly, his hood was visable again. Sharp amour stood on his shoulders, his eyes glowing an eye patch over one eye a smirck his aurburn hair curly and messy the ninja caught thier breath as they wittnsed the man staring at them intent with rage eyes glowing red his hand glow blue he charges at kai preforming shatterspin nocking kai to the ground grabbing him by the throat.

"Let him go" nya called jays hand tightened he walked to the edge of the cliff smirking.

"Fine," he dropped kai. The ninjas' eyes widened as they all ran to catch kai he was falling off the cloud kingdom.

-------

The administration surrounded them. Cole indicated for bonzal to go down into the cave.

Bonzal was scared the golden light showing her way forward until she saw a red glowing eye and the blue gi wearing, lighting wielder stood before her his nunchucks chain clacking as he moved a scyth drawn lighting emanating through it chrono steel he looked to bonzal she could feel his evil hate rage but also good thiers good in this person.

"Oh well, well, well, what do we have here?" he sneared in a mocking tone, lighting sparking over his body. Bonzal stood scared he cracked his neck. "Let's not make this difficult give up"

"Uhhh, no," bonzal replied. The figure looked at her with the most confused look

"It wasn't a question," the figure sneared, vioce sounding almost concerned.

"Uhmm, no, thank you." The figure looked at her with pure confusion. He shook off the feelings of concern, running and picking her up bonzal, attempting to break free, but the figure restrained her with chains.

The figure ran up to the monstary getting up he turned to see 2 ninjas and one socceres.

"Uhh, realy, the tin can," he sneared, grabbing his scyth.

"Wait, what realy the administration and this asshole," Cole complained, grabbing his hammer Zane, drawing his katana gandloria activating her crystal ball. The figures eyes widened with fear.

"T-t-the administration,"he stuttered, dropping bonzal "No no I need to escape, but ras will kill me if I don't. The administration is scarier than ras." Paused, turning to bonzal release the chains confusing Cole and Zane."I have a deal you help me take these administration monsters down, and I say to ras I never found the spell got it"

"Her names bonzal Cole corrected" the figure blinked blankly

"Bonzal for letting me kill some agents deal"

Zane didn't need to think they lose nothing or the very person they need to protect "fine"

Lighting sparks around the figure as barges down the door and the ninja watched with pure. Horror as they herd pleas for mercy and screams but for not because after they saw lighting rain down. "This is what you get for hurting me and taking my past," he cried. Blood fell the the agent slowly moved in as one came into his reach he grabbed thier neck and started pushing it waiting for that sweet crack they fell still blood faling form thier mouths more tried to escape jay insured they could not run soon it went from a fight to a masscure hundreds of agents layed dead unmoving broken. The figure turned to the ninja buy agent, ran up, and pulled his hood down. The agent died less than a second latter, but it had been dun, and his face was exposed. Cole moved forward, eyes widened at the sight of the figures face. One bright red eye stared back at him, lighting shaped burns covered one half of his face, his other eye concealed by an eye patch his teeth had blood stains and unusauly sharp canines but what made Cole want to cry was the fact of who it was jay stood thier. Zane walked up and turned to pure fear and confusion as he saw jay

"Gandloria, you get bonzal somewhere safe. Well, stay here"

Gandloria nodded her and bonzal disappearing

"Jay," Cole began the figure, tiring to them rage I his eyes. "Jay brother, why don't you know why would u"

"Cole I don't think that's our jay" Jay smircked

"Well, you have to die now, sorry." Red gatherered Cole realised he won't survive

[pansyfilia]

welcome to my blog!!

COMMS ARE NOW... OPEN!

you can call me pansy or rina (she/her)

fandom list

greek mythology/epic the musical (save me penelope save me)

the marauders

dungeon meshi my beloveds

tma (currently on s2 so NO SPOILERS)

X MEN i love you jean and ororo and rogue and mystique pls marry me + jubilee can tag along too

i have like one thg post so yk... it was for an au who am i kidding

ON A NOTE!!!! PLEASE DO TALK TO ME, MESSAGE ME, @ ME IF YOU WANT. WE DON'T NEED TO BE MOOTS TO INTERACT OR ANYTHING its bc i need friends :((

my ao3 is @green_starss, where i have a few odypen fics brewing

and ive got a bit of an organising system which is pretty ridiculous soooo

"the little white maggot tag" is just generally rosier twins/ pandora/ evan, whatever really

"the wild hyena at the door tag" is all things barty crouch jr, gay twink and mcr enjoyer

"the scarlet fox tag" is the woman, the MILF, the legend lily evans (she ate btw)

"the magician's rabbit tag" is mary macdonald <333333

"my weaver wife" is PENELOPE OF SPARTA yes i do know she is ody's wife and i would never dream of taking her from him (im stealing her from him respectfully as we speak)

"the green mamba that bites" is dorcas meadowes (we love a mean queen)

"the black cat that haunts" is regulus black, wet dog man and also brother's best friend survivor

"the lovegood moths tag" is essentially the lovegood family, pandora, xeno and luna

"the island and his freshwater pearl" is just odypen, pretty much the only straight pairing on here

" the two rabid beasts" is bartylily (essentially emo/preppy at core)

"the rotting hyena tag" is rosekiller (tee hee)

"the bunny corpse" is my marydora stuff

"pansy's aus" is what it says on the can

"ask pansy anything" basic comprehension skills yall

"pansy rambles" essentially the same vein, see above, etc

I think???? i have an au list somewhere in here so ill put it on here as well

odyssey thg au, where ody and polites go into a war-torn arena and only one returns home (alr a wip)

odyssey modern au, where ody is enlisted in the war and needs to get OUT. dio actually pops in and checks in on him from time to time and calypso is just a super weird flight attendant

odyssey lotr au, following the whole arawen/odypen parallels that have me gripped atm (and also penelopes half divine side as well because the POTENTIAL aghh) jsyk legolas and gimli are perimedes and elpenor :))))))

idk why but like odyssey roleswap au, where eury and ody stay at home while their wives are away on pilgrimage or wtv the equiv is in ancient greece and circe and calypso r just super hot evil minor gods. OMG WAIT tiresias is the same but its his cursed-by-hera woman form (long story, will explain in a later post)

iliad/odyssey college au where theyre all just here and there and also everyone who dies either gets sent away or yk runs away from the shitty ass ilium university (helen is the art major queen and calypso stalks ody which we love/hate)

THE ILIAD/ODYSSEY RENAISSANCE COURT AU which isnt realy plot,,, its just fluff and fake dating and secret dating and also lady thetis who hates her sons prince consort patroclus and theres rlly just a lot of love and drama

[self-indulgent one comin in hot] single parent ody with calypso's kids nausithous and nausinous who has penelope as his kids' babysitter (not canon timeline-complicit bc who needs that shitfaced angst blast)

and ofc a hogwarts au just for funzies

just tag me on either ao3 or on here if u use these!

anyways,,, have fun! pls enjoy my half-asleep crazes

[deadstoats]

more old drawings today! even if no one realy interesed in it

so! as i am really into clowns and jesters, today's hot take is my clown gang!!! they all from the same circus and working together

sweet popcorn (they/she/it)

they're like a boss for whole gang, but actually she doesn't appear at the circus very often because they have other work to do! like... save the world! or destroy it! because they're friends/enemies/rivals with some local detective and always trying to stop them or help them. but of course she still loves circuis and everyone there. popcorn is a true trickster of them all.

sour candy and salty caramel (they/it)

a duo that you'll never see apart. they're always together, not only at the stage but in a daily life too! candy is a calm, lazy and positive; and caramel is just a small weepie and crybaby. and candy is the only one who can calm caramel down! but at the other hand, caramel also a little scared by candy because they have this hidden risky nature, loves scary things, and their pranks sometimes are too much. but candy don't want to offend caramel or hurt them! they do really love them, it's just their strange nature

cherry bomb (they/it)

the youngest one and the craziest one, not in an evil way tho, just for fun! their hunger for fun, tricks and pranks is immeasurable. they don't fear ANYTHING and will do anything to make audience or their friends laugh. and yeah, sometimes it's too much, like for sour candy. don't blame them, they have a brain of 6 years old. and a cannon! a giant cannon that no one else can lift up and that can shoot anything from ballons with water to a real lions.

minty (she/they/it)

a dog. not in a furry way, it's LITERALLY a dog. a dog that can talk, but a real dog. someone just threw her away, and clowns were the ones to find her. they taught her to walk on two legs and even made her a costume! and a little hat!!! she's a shy doggy, but kind and curious, she likes to talk to people and learn things. she knows some tricks and really really wants to learn magic ones!

liquorice (he/they/it)

a cat, but in a furry way now. he's a mime and also a magician. he never talks, usually using sign language, pantomime, writing and any other way to communicate, and everyone just. understand him. but minty says that he CAN talk, it's just others can't hear him. he has this typical cat nature for sure, and he's also a big cheese lover. liquorice is actually a 100% white cat, he just paints his ears, nose and tail with black. he also has an assistant named meringue, but she's my friend's character so i can't show her here

and that's all for today

[trickscourse]

'I want to keep being a well adjusted person so I'm not going to fucking do that.' you still published that ask so other people can do the dirty work for you, that is realy not cool. also you keep insisting sunny has a crush on you that is really thirsty on your part, she ain't interested in you that way also she is in a relationship. and you've got a boyfriend, that's disrespectful to him too. keep your crush posts in your brain please, maybe try to post more about your boyfriend than your victim, it'll be good for you and you'll move on from her

Sunny is not my victim. She will never be my victim and calling her that is an insult to abuse victims everywhere.

I published that ask because I realized that probably every other blog associated with me will probably receive and publish it anyways, which a lot of my friends and mutuals did. I even got it on my other socials.

One thing I don't think you understand is that I can say pretty much anything in the situation and no one will listen to me. I've told people to not call her the wrong name, contact her friends or members of her group or whatever but no one will listen to me.

The bit about her having a crush on me is 100% a joke. I am very much MLM and Sunny's a girl. The funny thing is, Hi-C posts about his boyfriend daily. I have no need to do it on this blog since it's basically a meat shield for my other accounts.

It is very, very clear that Sunny has some sort of crush on me based on the fact she cannot shut up about me for more than two days max before she insists on showing that shes obsessed with me. It's bad when people outside the situation messaged me asking if I'm okay because of the shit she's done and how much she acts like Martha Scott more than anything else.

This shouldn't be repeating, but that deranged, obsessive stalker is not a victim of mine. I am not a victim of hers, I wouldn't call myself a survivor but calling her my abuser gives her way too much power that I don't want her to have. She stopped being a candidate for a victim years ago, probably when this started when she started lying about my dog.

Sunny is a victim of the consequences of her actions and whenever the fuck is wrong with her.

[phoenixkaptain]

Was rereading some of my old Qui-Gon - Luke parallel posts and I had the abrupt realization:

Luke is technically on the same level as Qui-Gon in terms of diplomatic ability.

Granted, this is mostly extrapolated from external works, the novels and comics and such, because the Original Trilogy doesn’t put Luke in any realy situations where he needs to act diplomatically (aside from the scene with Jabba, but I will come back to that) and, as we all know, Luke Skywalker was only ever portrayed as a baby in the prequel trilogy and then he was never portrayed ever again outside of that instance that the Original Trilogy, there were no other major motion pictures with Luke in them, unfortunately, and as we all know and accept with sadness in our hearts, the next time we saw Luke in live-action was in the Mandalorian. It’s wild, they never put him in anything else ever, never ever, not once, not twice, it was OT, PT, then Mandalorian S2, wild-

Let’s begin with the movies.

We see Qui-Gon’s diplomatic prowess in the Phantom Menace, when the diplomatic talks with the Neimoidians go south almost immediately and he has to fight his way out.

We see Luke’s diplomatic prowess in the Return of the Jedi, when the diplomatic talks (thinly veiled threats) with Jabba go south almost immediately and he has to fight his way out.

(Leia and Obi-Wan are my parallels in these scenes. Not because I think they actually are supposed to parallel each other in the text, but because they both are part of the action while being cute, so like-)

Already, we can see that they’re both prime examples of Jedi Diplomacy. Something goes south and they have to fight their way out of it. The Jedi way :) (look at Mace’s attempt to rescue Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padme, my guy started by pulling out his lightsaber. At the very least, Qui-Gon and Luke both waited a bit longer to start beheading people.)

But, what I actually want to draw reference to is that Luke is skilled at de-escalating situations. In the 2015 comics, he is one of the only reasons Leia and Han don’t start wrestling each other like feral dogs. In the novels, specifically in the Thrawn Trilogy, there’s a scene where Luke handles a diplomatic situation by being as polite and fair as he can be. Also, he is a Jedi, which means that he is polite, fair, and nobody really wants to go against him because he’s the man who blew up the Death Star and can kill literally anybody in the room without lifting a finger.

We know from the text that Qui-Gon’s diplomacy was probably similar. Because, Obi-Wan learned negotiating from Qui-Gon, so if we look at how Obi-Wan deals with tense political situations, we can make an educated guess as to how Qui-Gon did so.

We know from Tales of the Jedi that Qui-Gon’s go-to in tense situations was de-escalation. Because if he didn’t de-escalate that shit really fast, his Master would kill literally everybody. He also seems to try and take the polite and fair road. Of course, he also is a Jedi, plus he has his Jedi Master growling at everyone from over his shoulder, only held back from committing senseless murder because Qui-Gon told him to please not to, so nobody really wants to go against him.

I don’t know. The parallels, the strange, strange parallels, are certainly present in the text. Which could mean a few things. We have options.

Option 1: Luke learned really, really fast from Obi-Wan. An option that, theoretically, does make sense. After all, we know that Luke knew Ben Kenobi before learning he was a Jedi Master, which means he could have mimicked the behaviour he witnessed. And we can reasonably assume that Ben Kenobi, crazy old desert wizard, was probably more talking his way out of trouble in the desert than fighting his way out.

Option 2: Luke and Qui-Gon really are just narratively mirrored. They act similar even if they don’t seem like they should, so Qui-Gon’s talent in political talks is based off of Luke’s inexplicable ability to make everyone in the room either begrudgingly accept what he says or be too terrified of him to argue. This would make sense, since they do parallel each other in quite a few ways anyway. One more parallel isn’t too strange to think about.

Option 3: I’m looking way too deeply into the theoretical political power of two fictional characters whose prowess in debates we know of only through sources of questionable canonicity, both of which are considered unskilled in this particular field by the fanbase at large, which for some reason rubs me the wrong way enough that I feel it necessary to make an incredibly long text post detailing my thoughts.

It could go any way ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯

[mailb0xbunii]

empires x hc members and the mlp species i think they are ! some have extremely detailed reasoning and others are just from vibes alone , but get ready bc it is a semi-long post (also yes i Will be drawing all of these ideas)

Shelby: water kelpie . where kelpies come from , ponies don't directly use magic and instead use potions ! i felt it fits since she focuses on potions . and water kelpie bc . Swamp Frog Witch

Jimmy: earth pony , but here's the kicker . lore potions turn him into a teeny tiny breezie

Katherine: unicorn crystal pony . her horn/magic is corrupted similarly to King Sombra's , and on bad days her eyes go all Evil Sombra Eyes y'know ?

Scott: also a unicorn crystal pony , but he is a crystal pony in the same sense the mane six were Technically crystal ponies for a period of time when the crystal magic hit them . he went all crystal-y after the whole Gem Skull Eye situation went down

Sausage: earth pony . come on . he's a big , strong lumberjack .

Joel: griffon . this one is entirely vibes

Hermes: gargoyle

Lizzie: catfolk but shhhhh don't tell anyone

Pix: unicorn

Joey: hippogriff/seapony

fWhip: diamond dog , bc they're little creatures that live underground and love shiny things

Oli: it would be funny if he was also an earth pony considering all the crazy stuff that happens to him . the local Just Some Guy

Gem: okay sit down for this one it is a doozy . she is a changeling , but she didn't really stick to a species that actually exists in Either server . in empires she's like a breezie , but normal pony size with more butterfly-oriented features . over in hermitcraft she is is a deer , but she is like . an oddly mystical deer ? look up the great seedling , she's kinda like That Thing

Grian: also a changeling ! but most of the time he is in the form of a hippogriff with more pony-like features (to distinguish him from Joey) . also i think it would be funny if Gem and Grian have no idea the other is a changeling

False: I had to make Someone an avian and she's the one !

Pearl: a pegasus , but Saint Pearl is an alicorn . i like to think when pearl travels through the rift she grows taller and her wings get bigger , but she doesn't Fully become an alicorn

Xisuma: dragon

Cub and Scar: bat ponies bc vexes ^_^

Impulse: minotaur but like . more imp like ? different horns , maybe slap some wings on him . you get the picture

Doc: also a minotaur . but mix in a little bit of minecraft creeper and some storm creature and boom u got a whole new Guy

Tango: kirin . bc they have funny tails like the tails most fanartists give him and they burst into flames when angry

Jevin: half smooze-half skeleton pony

Keralis: earth pony

Joe: okay Hear Me Out . draconequus . i swear it makes sense

Ren: timberwolf but bipedal . i considered a diamond dog but they don't realy fit his overall Vibe so now he's made of sticks and magic :-)

Cleo: i wanted to make her a chimera , but it felt a bit over the top ? so i settled on a zombie pony with like 2 or 3 other creature limbs stitched on .

Bdubs: this man has completely stumped me . he just fits So Many pony creatures , so for now im saying earth pony ? but adaba would also be cool and so would a dragon or even griffon or