#i really wrote multiple imagines about this movie and none of you thought to warn me about how much it would destroy me?

[bi-bard]

finally watched Adam (2009)

y'all really could've warned me about that one

[laurelleghuleh]

𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 | 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, one-shot

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 6.7k

𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐨𝐧: Ao3, Wattpad

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: post-time skip, aged-up characters, implied/referenced sex, sensitive topics(?)

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: This is a kind of “interactive” one-shot. At some point, you’ll find the link for the playlist I’ve created for the story. It’s not mandatory, of course. The songs are mentioned and their lyrics are quoted anyways.

I tried to keep the reader as gender-neutral as possible, I hope it works.

To be honest, I wrote the first half of this one-shot at 3 am after a very deep conversation with a friend of mine about struggling with self-love as “young adults”. It wasn’t meant to be public but I felt like sharing it. I hope this will help or at least cheer you up as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Lastly, italics when Daichi sings/for the lyrics and English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes!

Thanks for reading this, Laurelle.

---------------------------------

Taxes, laundry, rent, bills, grocery shopping, bank accounts, job interviews. These were just some of the things whose thought alone made you already shiver. Adulthood and the multiple responsibilities that had come with it scared the shit out of you, at times it completely fucked up your sleep schedule, and put your sanity at stake, but at least you weren’t alone in this. At least, you had Daichi.

You two had faced college together, one at each other’s side, and now you were again together in that new chapter of your life called adulthood.

By then, you two had been living in that little, yet cozy apartment for a few months. The Karasuno team had lent you a hand by making the move less hard, unpacking boxes and decorating the empty shelves with an unnecessary amount of frames, random objects, and souvenirs from their trips. All of this as Daichi was training at your hometown’s Police Department and as you were trying to find your place in the world, between part-time jobs and “real” job interviews.

The new routine was dull, draining, at times even overwhelming. The closer you were getting to make your dream life come true, the more your daily life felt like a nightmare. The more you felt tired, unmotivated, ultimately empty. And you couldn't help but wonder if that was really worth it anymore.

You started to slowly give up on your hobbies and passions, to spend your free time on the new couch, just spacing out, and to eventually forget about yourself. You didn’t want to sound too pathetic but life seemed to have lost its flavor. At that point, it just tasted like disinfectants and instant noodles.

Those fucking instant noodles … You thought as you looked at yourself in the mirror that evening. None of your planned outfits for that night fitted anymore, none, and at the sudden realization, that familiar smell of instant noodles rose inside your nostrils. But instant noodles weren’t really the point. Your outfits not fitting anymore wasn’t the point either. That you in that mirror was the point. That stranger. That empty shell.

The familiar boomy sound of keys twisting inside the front door’s lock, a click, and Daichi was finally home.

“I’m baaack” You heard him say - almost yell - and then saw him coming inside the kitchen to greet you.

“May I have a kiss?” He shyly asked, placing his hand on the small of your back, drawing little circles to get your attention.

“Sure,” You turned your head for a quick, soft peck on his lips, then got back to your chore.

“Still in your PJs, babe?” He commented, his voice small, clearly weakened by his long, draining day at work.

By that time, you were supposed to be ready to head out, but something in the process went wrong. On the other side of the city, a nice restaurant - highly suggested by Michimiya sometime before - was waiting for you and Daichi to arrive in twenty minutes.

“Yeah… I have to finish cooking these for tomorrow before we head out…” You murmured as your words fell down to the pot beneath you.

That wasn’t a lie, but in all fairness, you were only trying to avoid the truth. Little did you know you were about to experience what living with a future detective really meant.

Besides his professional deformation, when it came to you, Daichi never failed to sense when something was off. Even just from a slight change of your tone. He was so used to your voice that the most insignificant variation of its sound seemed to conceal a tiny, secret message only for him to decipher.

Anyways, you kept looking down, your mind somewhere else, your eyes still lost in the little fog coming from the pot. You still didn’t dare to look at him, which was rather unusual. Strange. Kind of suspicious.

Daichi rocked his head in your direction, trying to find other tangible clues for that particular case he wasn’t expecting to face once at home. Yet nothing was really out of place, except that gloomy aura all around you. Therefore, he decided to just play it cool for the moment and let you be.

Maybe he was overthinking. Maybe he was just being paranoid. The only thing that really mattered was that night to be perfect for both of you.

It wasn’t a special occasion or else, just Daichi’s first free evening after a whole month of night shifts. And in addition to that, that dinner had been meticulously planned the previous week. Nothing could have ruined it. Nothing.

Yeah, he was just being paranoid, for sure. Nothing to worry about.

Daichi moved away from you and walked towards the front door again. Then, he plugged his phone on the little speaker at the entrance and played the playlist you two loved to blast whenever you were at home, cleaning the house, or just swinging from a room to another.

And that was when everything got even more suspicious in Daichi’s perspective.

The first song came on (“Come Through and Chill” by Miguel, J.Cole, Salaam Remi ), the little bass drums slowly filling the room, vibrating from wall to wall, gradually reaching your feet through that old wooden pavement. And yet, you stayed completely still.

Suspicious .

“Everything ok?” He casually asked you from a distance, putting the phone back down on top of the speaker.

“Yeah, good, good. You?” You mumbled, trying to hide your words under the rhythm.

Even more suspicious .

It wasn’t only your voice, but your posture, your face, just your aura that seemed so… Different. Even though you two hadn’t been living together for long at that point, he could simply tell what looked ordinary and what not. You knew each other and dated since college, which at that point meant years of studying the other up close, not only as partners but firstly - and mainly -  as friends. Two best friends always looking out for one another. Those had been years of sincere trust and affection.

Funny thing was that neither of you could imagine that a casual encounter in a cafè would have taken that turn. But Suga knew. And Asahi too. Everybody knew, except you two.

One morning, the vending machine of your department was out of order, and that was just the tenth curveball of that day. It’s not even thirty past eight and I already want to go back to sleep , you sighed, walking outside the campus, looking for a cafè or something.

As fate would have it, the tiny, little-known coffee shop you found right behind the corner was Asahi’s workplace, which brought both Suga and Daichi to have their breakfast there every single morning.

Your first time there, your order was mistaken with Daichi’s, one thing led to another, and after a while, you two started hanging out frequently. Then even more consistently. Then no Asahi or Suga around. No coffee shop. Study sessions at his place. Then at your place. A movie night that actually looked and felt like a proper date. And eventually, that friendship blossomed into something else, something pretty serious.

You didn’t even realize when or how that happened, it just felt right. You two didn’t even have a real “date” for when your relationship had begun. For the sake of simplicity, you both used to count from your first kiss, both aware that whatever you two shared had started even before that, even that morning in that tiny, little-known coffee shop.

That was the type of love that comes easily, without warning, silently tiptoeing into your life.

Back in your apartment, once freed from his jacket, Daichi made again his appearance at your side, now wearing a playful look and about to hit his favorite line of the lyrics. He almost made you startle.

“Hello, stranger… It's been a minute since we last kicked it” He sang and swung around you, positioning himself right behind you to wrap you in a warm hug. Then, gingerly nestling his head in the curve of your neck, he breathed against your skin, “Now that I’m home, I’m all good… ”

Bear hugs were Daichi’s thing and also your not-so-secret Achilles’ heel, for sure. So, you just leaned in his embrace and welcomed his familiar, calming scent. But still, you didn’t have the courage to face him.

Very, very suspicious .

Your oddly detached behaviors made his brow pinch and his mind wander as he left soft pecks all over your jaw and neck. No reaction , Daichi thought, taking mental notes of your actions.

At that point, he gave you one last, gentle kiss, this time on your shoulder, right where the hem of your shirt met your skin, and then silently made a step back. Daichi’s first thought was to temporarily let you be. A quick shower and a change of clothes were very much needed after that long day. He thought he still got time to unravel your mood.

Still focused on the pot, you heard him tell you, before disappearing in your bedroom, “I’ve been thinking about tonight all day, love. I literally can’t wait to try this restaurant!”

You felt a knot in your stomach.

Why was it so hard for you to simply tell him? To simply put into words how you felt? You knew he would have understood, you knew how sensitive Daichi was, especially when it came to you. But to look so needy, so lost in his eyes made you feel just weak. Not vulnerable, not emotional, just a weak person in need. And the last thing you wanted was to look or feel like a burden to Daichi. You knew how stressed and overworked he was. That was a pretty tough period for you both and you felt like you had no right to complain. Daichi never did, and all you wanted was to be as strong as he was.

It didn’t take much for Daichi to be ready, all cleaned up and dressed for the occasion. Nothing too elegant or pretentious, he was a very casual type of guy even when it came to clothes, but that was still your night. A little more effort won’t hurt , he thought as he picked his outfit, preferring a classic, white, button-up shirt to his favorite sweater - his safe choice whenever he didn’t know what to wear.

He just wanted to look good that night, to look good for your eyes only.

Right when “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee started, Daichi’s unmistakable cologne stood above the food’s thick smell coming from the pot. You immediately turned around.

He looked handsome, as always. The view made your belly twitch again.

“Hey hon, remember that time we went to see Spiderman with Suga, Asahi, and Kyoko?” He started to speak, crossing the room with slow strides in your direction.

“You fell in love with this song on the spot. Oh my god, I think you blasted it in the car at least ten times on our way back...” He said wrapping his arms around your waist again, making you turn and trying to initiate a slow dance with you.

“I know you’re scared of the unknown, you don’t wanna be alone” He sang, “I know I always come and go,” The lyrics hitting way too close to home, “But it’s out of my control”

At that point, he held you tight, roaming his big, callous hands all over your back as he glanced at the pot from above your shoulder.

“That looks delicious, babe. Can’t wait to eat it tomorrow. I just know it tastes as good as it looks…”

There he was again, being all supportive and loving no matter what. So damn cheesy, he could have made someone sick. But not you.

You weren’t much of a chef yourself and you knew it, but you tried your best. And Daichi appreciated it a lot. He was so proud of you, always so blindly proud. He was undoubtedly a better chef than you were, but he still left you space to experiment and try out new things.

You never thought you could enjoy cooking that much, but probably Daichi being a foodie played a role in that. A foodie, well, possibly the biggest foodie you knew. The thought alone of food could make him insane, let’s say slightly irrational like he wasn’t functioning normally.

That was at the beginning when you both had all the time in the world to even plan a food competition and invite all your friends over to eat and vote for your plates. In the beginning, when that apartment’s walls were still white and bare, when the only furniture you owned was an old red couch and several boxes with all your things still packed inside. In the beginning, when there were way fewer things to care about in your daily routine.

“It’s ready, I guess. I should turn off the stove… ” You mumbled against his chest, then turned around still sweetly trapped in his embrace.

“Then you’re left in the dust… mhmhIdon’trememberthewordsmm” He kept singing behind your back, “ You’re the sunflower, I think your love would be too-”

When the little flame disappeared under the pot, a sharp sigh accidentally left your mouth.

“Daichi…” You breathed, squeezing his right hand still gently pressed on your belly.

Daichi .

You rarely called him by his first name. You’d usually go with “love” or “babe” or whatever sweet name came into your mind at that specific moment. Daichi . “Daichi” was something like a safeword, a code for “I’m dead serious right now”, “Your mum is calling” or, like this time, “Something is wrong”.

At that signal, the Karasuno’s former captain knew exactly what to do as if a ball had just flown past an invisible volleyball net right in front of him. That was just the confirmation he needed to make his move.

Living together, making a long-term relationship works, sticking together regardless, all of these for you both were based on the little things you started to learn about one another. Most of the time failing but never giving up on the other person. And this, this was one of those “little things”.

Daichi .

Wordlessly, he went straight to his phone and turned down the music at its lowest, the songs just a light, almost unperceivable background. You turned in his direction, watching him attentively, in silence, until he beckoned you to follow him.

You did as told and walked with him towards the living room, where he guided you to sit on the couch, your right hand gently secured in his.

He sat down on his heels, right in front of you, and waited, waited for you to say something, giving you all the time you needed to process your thoughts.

Minutes passed, the music still softly playing in the background.

Spendin' all my nights alone, waitin' for you to call me

You're the only one I want by my side when I fall asleep

Tell me what I'm waitin' for

Tell me what I'm waitin' for

I know it's hard but we need each other

(“SUGAR” by BROCKHAMPTON)

When you lifted your gaze to meet his sweet eyes, like two big, dark chocolate nuggets, you still didn’t know what to say. Automatically, his lips parted to catch your attention.

“Love,” His voice so tender it literally broke your heart to keep that facade any longer.

Your lips puckered, your nostrils widened, your eyes got unexpectedly watery until the first of many tears started to run down your face. When your head fell forwards, hiding between your hands, Daichi immediately got you. His arms circled your frame, welcoming you against his chest as you kept weeping noisily.

Daichi stayed silent, his head pressed against your shoulder, moving in sync with each of your sobs.

“Let it out, babe, don’t hold it back.”

At those words, your weeps only seemed to get worse to the point you didn’t know anymore why you were crying in the first place. Maybe you just needed to let it out, to rest, and let yourself get lost in Daichi’s embrace. His warmth felt like home and it was so comforting that after a while you finally cooled down. Nothing was wrong anymore, you were safe and sound.

“When you’re ready, I’m here to listen.” He whispered.

You nodded against his skin, then drew back, revealing your puffed and reddish face. He immediately stood up and walked towards the kitchen. Once back, he kneeled again in front of you and handed you tissues and a glass of water.

“Thanks,” You murmured and then blew your nose.

Daichi just stared at you, his eyes wandering all over your figure as you shrugged and sighed. You opened your mouth only to close it a second later. You didn’t even know where to start. Your bottom lip quivered, you felt like you’re about to cry again.

“What’s going on, love?” His voice small and tender.

You sighed again and gave a quick look to the clock behind him. It was almost time to leave. Actually, at that point, you were already late. Your eyes found his again and a thought occurred to you. He looked so happy until a moment before, singing and dancing, all dressed up, ready to leave and try that restaurant. But now there he was, all worried for you, down on his knees, not caring if that position was messing and creasing his shirt.

“It’s really nothing. Just had a bad day. I should go get-” You tried to stand up, but Daichi’s hands stopped you right there, pinning you down again.

“Are you sure, that’s just it?”

You couldn’t physically bring yourself to lie to Daichi. Not even for the smallest things. Not even for a white lie.

“To be honest, I don’t really feel like going out tonight…”

His eyebrows twitched. First clue unlocked.

“That’s fine. Let me just give them a call-”

“No, no. There’s no need. We should go anyway. It’s really nothing.”

Daichi was never really fond of you being difficult, he’d rather prefer you being straightforward. But sometimes, your pride overtook you. Nevertheless, that was not the right time to point out you were being too stubborn, so he just reassured you, saying,

“Listen, it’s up to you, babe. Your wish is my command, you know that, right?”

Daichi was always so kind. From time to time, you even believed he was way too good for you. Too good, it’s almost unfair , you thought.

“Really, it’s nothing… I’ve been thinking about tonight all day too. I couldn’t wait to finally spend some time with you…”

He giggled, your sweet tone instantly reassured him, “You know we can always stay at home and just watch a movie, right? Just tell me if you don’t feel like going out and I’ll call the restaurant right away.”

“Well, it’s not that… I… I…” You sighed. You really were being too difficult that time. “To be honest, I don’t know what-” Your voice cracked, “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Daichi leaned closer and kissed your forehead, then stood up and grabbed his phone. From a distance you clearly heard him talk to someone, apologizing and saying something else you didn’t quite catch. The restaurant , you thought. You instantly walked towards him and tried to oppose, but Daichi politely hushed you and just hung up.

“Why did you do that?” You asked him.

“Cause it seems like you can’t decide right now. The restaurant can wait, really, but whatever is going on with you cannot. And now, if you want to tell me more about it I’m here, if not I’ll just let you be, or if-”

You grabbed his hands, stopping him. Your head swung from side to side as you collected your thoughts.

“It’s just that… I don’t know where to start.” You said and plopped yourself down on the couch.

He softly asked you when that started, if you remembered what little event had possibly triggered your current mood, and suddenly the right words found their way out of your mouth.

It had just been one of those everything-goes-wrong kinds of days, no rest, and too many things to do that eventually you found yourself already in front of the closet without even realizing it. Your eyes were drained and unfocused after all those hours in front of your laptop, working, sending emails, and stuff like that. Your stomach was aching and bloating after eating the previous night’s leftovers. Your legs were sore. Your mind was blank, empty, and at the same time also full of imprecise thoughts about work, what you needed to do before heading out, the dinner, the clothes, that mirror right in front of you.

You described to him this confused overwhelming sensation you had been experiencing for the previous months and all along Daichi was carefully listening to you, nodding and humming. From time to time he tried to comfort you, saying that it was quite understandable since you both started a new, complicated chapter of your lives since there were so many things to be settled and done, etc. He even apologized if he had accidentally neglected you in some way. He was so stressed and focused on work, he barely noticed what was going on with you. But you didn’t seem to listen to his words. Every single time you just replied with the same anxious thoughts you had already said before.

At some point, Daichi interrupted you, saying, “Babe, look at me and be honest,” then grabbed your hands and looked straight into your still reddish eyes, “Do you want me to listen … Or do you want some advice ?”

That was a thing Daichi had learned with time, not only from you but also from his experience as a captain. Sometimes people just need to vent, some other times to be taken by the hand and helped, but there are also other times when people may even need both.

You sighed. “Both I guess?”

He hummed and kept listening at other incoherent stuff you mumbled next about yourself, your image, your perception of yourself, “And that damn outfit! I’ve been thinking about it all day! It was my only option and it didn’t work! I looked terrible, I could barely stand my reflection in the mirror… Why do I have to feel so miserable about a damn outfit?! And then I put my PJ back on and I thought I looked like a fucking cartoon! I wanted to hide under a blanket and just disappear… I must sound delusional right now…”

New clues unlocked.

“No, absolutely, you’re not delusional, love. But... Let me ask you this. What is really bothering you? How you look or how you feel ?”

You tilted your head and pondered his question. At that moment you realized you had never thought about it that way before. How I look or how I feel… , you kept thinking for a while.

However, you still weren’t able to unravel that truth, therefore you just kept rumbling about those stupid clothes not fitting you anymore for another solid couple of minutes.

Daichi chuckled.

“That just means you need to do more shopping, babe,” He pointed out and leaned in to pepper your neck with soft kisses. You couldn’t help but giggle as his kisses alternated with random names of your favorite shops where you two could have gone to the next day to buy something. But eventually, you lightly pushed him away, not because you really wanted to but... Something wasn’t still quite right and you didn’t know what it was. That made you feel ultimately uneasy.

Daichi drew back on his heels, his hands still on your sides, sweetly caressing your hips. He stayed there and just contemplated you as your mind spun around and other vague thoughts piled up in your head.

“So, is there something else?” He softly asked.

“I guess so… It’s not about the clothes. I think it’s me. I look so different and I feel so different, I can barely recognize myself.”

“Love, you have so many things to do, I know it’s hard to find time for you to eat clean or be active. Maybe I should propose less pizza and stuff—”

“No, no, babe, it’s not you... I just feel awful about myself.”

“You feel , but you’re definitely not. I guarantee you that.” Daichi immediately comforted you.

“You know the saying, love is blind…” You tried to joke around.

“It sure is. I could love you with my eyes closed, but even with my eyes wide open, I can’t see anything wrong with you.”

Daichi’s love confessions were sappy at their core, but his voice was always so direct and honest they always sounded like facts. And they never failed to catch you off guard. Daichi used to be shy and awkward in the beginning of your relationship. He was constantly blushing hard and messing with his sentences whenever it came to talk to you. However, with time, his affection and ways started to be so sincere and straightforward you didn’t even know how to contradict him or how to even say anything back.

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes…” His tone suddenly painted with melancholy, “Then you could see how beautiful you are, how precious, how…” He felt it too. He felt he was getting too emotional, so he tried to take the edge off, coming back to his goofy side. “No, no. Rewind. You might end up dumping me. Nah nah, not gonna happen!” He muffled, hiding his head against your belly, curling up with his torso over your lap.

You couldn’t help but laugh. You loved him so much.

“Jokes aside,” He said, lifting his head and looking up at you. “Tell me, babe, is this really such a big deal? Because if it bothers you to this point, you should think about it more carefully... Can I help you in some way?”

“Honestly, I-I don’t know how you could help me,” You confessed, “I feel like I’m not taking care of myself, but I also lack motivation to actually do something about it. It’s a dog chasing its own tail, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I get it… Well, I could encourage you, first. But then I could also help you and try to do things with you, like…” He thought about it for a couple of seconds. “What if I call Tanaka? He's a personal trainer but he also knows a lot about nutrition. He may suggest something delicious but fast and healthy for us to cook. It could be beneficial for both of us. We have been literally eating our stress away recently. You know what, I feel bloated too…” Daichi added and then proceeded to touch his tummy.

You lightly pushed him again and started to shower him with compliments. You couldn’t wrap your mind around the fact that Daichi could ever possibly be insecure about himself. He was… Daichi. He was just perfect.

He smirked at your reaction and got closer to shut your mouth with a sudden, deep kiss.

“Can I tell you a secret?” He whispered, just an inch away from your lips.

“Sure, what is it?” You said almost laughing. A secret?

“Ok, look at my pants,” Daichi said, drawing back until he stood up, right in front of you.

“Yeah, I’m looking at them and they look really good on you-” You started to say and tried to make him spin around to point out how good he looked in those dark pants. That was actually your favorite pair, you loved the way they highlighted his muscular legs, how- But he stopped you right there.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ok, thanks, but have you noticed that I’m not wearing any belt? And actually haven’t worn one in a while?”

You frowned. Where is he getting at?

“And you know why? I don’t really need one anymore. These pants stay up regardless,” Daichi confessed, giggling, “What I mean is… Look, you still like how they fit me. I still like how they fit me. I just know that you would like them even in another size. I would like them as well.”

You just stared at him, quietly pondering his words.

“Anyways, the pants are not the real point. These are just pants. Those things that didn’t fit you aren’t the real point either. You see what I’m trying to tell you?”

You did. You got what he meant, but you were still doubting yourself somehow. Because, in your mind, not fitting your old clothes was just the result of something that slipped out of your hands as you struggled to take care of anything else, except yourself. It wasn’t about your weight or the clothes, it was about losing track of yourself in the process.

“You think I’m perfect while I may, well, I am certainly not. Same goes for you. None of us is perfect, never been, never will. We are just us,” He got closer and sweetly brushed your hair behind your ears, “But for me, in my eyes, you are. And apparently, I’m too in yours. And that’s all that matters.”

Again, just straight facts.

Also, whenever he gave you one of his motivational speeches, he really looked like a captain. You could vividly picture the scene in your head, his teammates carefully listening to him, hanging off his words, right before an important match or even just a regular training session.

“I know it’s extremely cheesy to hear, but it’s also the truth. You’re perfect just the way you are and you’ll always be to me…” His voice small as he kneeled again in front of you. “Even now. Even if you feel lost. The you you’re looking for is still there, it’s not going anywhere. You just need some time and patience to find yourself again.”

You immediately cupped his face, about to tell him something, but before you could spell a single word, he whispered,

“But… But if this is a problem, something you want to change or improve, something you need some help with, then let’s do it, let’s do it together. No. Better. Let’s do it right now!”

Daichi immediately stood up and ran back to the kitchen, where you used to keep your little notebook. Once back, armed with a pen and unmovable willpower, he sat down again and opened the agenda on your lap. Going through your schedule, he noticed how packed it was, pages and pages filled with appointments and notes, but that didn’t scare him.

“Mmm… So, here’s the plan. Our lunch breaks on Monday and Friday look pretty long. We could… Meet at the park. You know, the one right after the supermarket, down the street-”

You nodded, showing him you were following him.

“We could jog a little and then eat something together! That way we’d see each other, have some fun and do something good for our health too… I know jogging doesn’t actually sound much fun, but I swear we’ll have a good time, babe. What do you think?”

Your lips curled upwards into a soft, little half-moon. You couldn’t say no to that.

“Sounds like a plan…” You simply commented.

He looked relieved and then added, “Also, remember that lunch at my mum’s next Sunday? Why don’t we just skip it and go somewhere fancy, like a spa-”

“But we promised-” You tried to object.

“Babe, I know, I know, but we can go some other time. She’ll understand.”

“Okay…”

“It’ll be beneficial for both of us, for real. To be honest, I think I’m this close to a breakdown too,” He laughed.

“You’re right, we should definitely go… You know, I was also thinking about joining some sort of club. I feel like I don't have a hobby or a passion anymore. It’s always work, work, work, the apartment, work, work, work. I feel so… Arid? Mentally. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah… Me too, I was thinking the same exact thing this morning actually… Maybe I should join a volleyball team again. Nothing serious but like a team to play with, just once in a while-”

Your eyes widened, “Oh God! Yes! Absolutely! You should definitely do that, love!”

Daichi nervously chuckled. He wasn’t expecting such an enthusiastic and energetic reaction from you, not after having seen you so blue and distant since he had come back home.

You loved seeing him playing volleyball. You still remembered vividly the times you used to sneak a peek at his practice and matches during college. The first time you saw him playing, all sweat and absorbed in the game, you did a double-take. He looked so hot.

“Alrighty, I’ll definitely think about it… Don’t worry, love, we’ll figure something out.”

“As we always did…” You added, shyly smiling at him.

That situation made you wonder. Life could be hard at times, but if you had the right people around you to rely on, to fight with, or simply talk to, it didn’t seem like that tough anymore.

“Yeah…” He smiled back and instinctively leaned forward to hug you tightly as you welcomed his frame against your chest.

After a few silent minutes, you muffled against his shoulder, “Thank you… I don’t even know how to tell you how thankful I am right now… ”

And in all fairness, there wasn’t much else to add.

“You could start by being less hard on yourself, love,” Daichi said, still pressed against you, “You’re doing so great…”

“You’re way too good to me.” You murmured back, your voice slightly above a whisper.

At your words, he brushed his head from side to side against your shoulder, silently disagreeing with your affirmation. He was just as good to you as you deserved.

Right at that moment, “Best Part” by Daniel Caesar and H.E.R. came on and Daichi thought that there couldn't have been a better time than that for that specific song to start.

He drew back from your hug and guided you to stand up with him, then walked backward to reach the center of the living room, his eyes still fixed on you.

“Siri, turn up the volume!” He ordered his phone to do as he took you in his arms.

You simply stared at him and followed his actions, like a puppet under his spell. His arms welcomed your figure and your fingers locked, your two bodies perfectly molded one against the other as you slow-danced to the rhythm, allowing yourself to utterly enjoy that moment.

A strange feeling warmed your belly, like an overwhelming wave of happiness was overtaking all your senses. Your mouth instinctively opened to shower Daichi with random compliments, words of gratitude, and all sorts of sweet nothings. He loved to be praised by you but after a while he tried to playfully hush you, holding you even tighter and whispered next to your ear a line of that song that seemed to be written right for you. Better, right for him to sing it for you.

“I just wanna see how beautiful you are, you know that I see it, I know you're a star.  Where you go I follow, no matter how far. If life is a movie, oh you're the best part…”

The music eventually faded and an hour later you and Daichi were once again in your bed, curled up in your sheets, as you leafed through Netflix’s catalog, fruitlessly. In the end, you just end up cuddling and ultimately dozing off. Nothing special had happened that night, but you felt so restored, at peace, as if everything was completely fine again.

When you woke up the morning after, Daichi was already gone. You were used to this too. No night shifts meant early shifts. But this also had its perks, like the tiny heart-shaped post-it notes he liked to leave in the bathroom for you to read them as you washed your face or brushed your teeth. The breakfast? Ready on the kitchen counter, another post-it note on top of it. And then another one, on the front door, “I can’t wait to see you at lunch <3”

At noon, you two met up at the park as planned. A little warm-up under Daichi’s careful instructions and then you were ready to start. Just a casual jog, nothing too demanding, as you enjoyed the fresh air and the good company of that day.

During the whole run, Daichi kept encouraging you like a real captain and a loyal partner would do, saying that you were doing great, that you looked very good in those leggings, that you were half done at that point, and then that you could do it, you were almost at the end at that point.

“The last lap, babe! We’re almost done!” Daichi shouted, turned his head in your direction, and gave you a wide, shining smile.

“I-I think I’m done for today…” You panted as you struggled to keep up with his pace.

“Six more minutes and we’re done! C’mon! Don’t give up!” He incited but you soon waved the white flag, signaling him your surrender.

Daichi halted and got closer to you. A strange, gloomy aura suddenly spread all around him. A mischievous grin appeared on his face right when he whispered, an inch away from your sweaty face,

“Quitters don’t get their prize, you know that?”

Your breath almost failed you, when you told him, “Yeah, yeah, you can eat my lunch, I don’t want it anymore…”

But apparently, Daichi had another prize in his mind, another type of meal .

“Mmmh, that’s not the reward I was planning to give you…” His voice sounded dangerously seductive for the location you two were at the moment. Your eyes widened at the sudden realization.

His hands slowly roamed from your hands to your shoulders, then cupped your cheeks. His tone got back to normal when he playfully squeezed your face and said, “Six minutes!”

Six minutes passed and the jog was finally over. A little picnic at the park, a quick shower together at home, and then you were good to go. Your afternoon’s tasks awaited you.

That evening Tanaka and Kyoko joined you for dinner. They were both more than happy to give you some advice, to recommend easy and healthy recipes, and to see how the apartment had changed since their last visit.

Later that night, you and Daichi were again in your bed, tired but definitely satisfied. Your back was pressed against his broad chest, your body secured in his warm embrace, your thoughts were quiet, both your body and mind at peace.

You had worked, you had jogged, you had had some fun with Daichi at the park, you had also found some time to finish that book you had forgotten on your desk. Well, actually, Daichi had been texting you during the whole afternoon to remind you to take some breaks from time to time, to have a snack or read something. The dinner with Tanaka and Kyoko had cheered you up more than planned and that full, yet satisfying day was finally over.

You were still lost in your thoughts when you felt Daichi snuggle up, holding you even tighter than before. His left arm was wrapped around your figure while the right one was on top of yours, his fingers gently rubbing your hand, then your wrist and forearm, drawing imaginary patterns all over your skin. As he got closer, ultimately closing that tiny gap between you two, his head found the crook of your neck and gently nestled in it. Then he asked you, his voice hoarse with weariness,

“So? About the jog, did you like it?”

“Weeeell, let’s say that I liked it but mainly because we did it together.” You confessed, “Would I do it alone? I don’t know… Maybe?”

“Fair enough,” He replied and placed a sloppy kiss on your shoulder, his fingers still loosely tracing your arm. Then there was silence, the room was from time to time filled only with the muffled sound of those soft pecks he kept on leaving on your skin.

“You know,” Daichi whispered at some point, between a kiss and another, “Jogging is not the only option…” He paused to clear his throat, “There are other types of activities that we could do…” Another kiss, his breath warm against your neck, his tone husky with desire when he added, “That we could do indoor…”

[oh-theatre]

Promissum

A/N: I started this awhile back and decided to finish it now, its bad and I have ABSOLUTELY no idea why I wrote it but uhh here and im so so sorry

summary: Roman looks for Patton on a quiet evening, a delighted smell guides his journey

pairings: Royality

warnings: none except some light angst

“Logan have you seen Patton?” Roman inquires peeking into the logicals sides study. He looks up from his book thinking if only for a moment, a sinking feeling as he shakes his head. “Rats!” Roman snaps his fingers. “Thanks anyway” He closes the door carefully, minimizing the creaking it causes.

“Hey Ro, whatcha doing?” Virgil asks from behind scaring the prince. Roman turns, glaring slightly at Virgil. “Sorry, what's got you so jumpy?”

“Im looking for Patton, have you seen him?” Roman tries his luck, if anyone knew where he was Virgil was his best bet.

“Mmm, he just checked in with everyone before bed...I think Remus was the last to see him” Virgil shrugs, cocking his head towards Romans lesser half. “Why? Whats up?” Roman sighs, fiddling with his sash, Virgil inches closer examining him. “Rooooooman” He stretches, prying his way through the defenses.

“I just need to talk to him ok?” Roman blurts, Virgil snickers patting him on the back as he walks away, presumably towards his room. “Ok, Remus...remus” Roman mumbles, hesitantly strolling down the hall towards his brothers room. Feeling less than confident he knock, the door swinging open a moment later.

“Haven't seen him, Dee might know” Remus yawns, Roman sighs, not an uncommon occurrence. When they try, they can keep their thoughts separate, when they don't care it melds into one. “Night” He shuts the door promptly, giving Roman no other option. Luckily, the mysterious side emerges from his room, giving Roman the perfect opportunity to inquire about the whereabouts of the moral side.

“Good evening Roman” Deceit greets, Roman smiles with his teeth, Deceit groans. “What do you need?” He offers

“Would you happen to know where Patton is?” He asks for what seems like the millionth time. Deceit nods, and finally Romans quest leads to something.

“He checked in on everyone, and when I asked him where he was going he told me-” Deceit coughs “I'm going to be in the imagination for a little bit if you need me” Deceit mimics in perfect tune, had Romans eyes been closed he would've thought it was Patton.

“Aha! Finally! Thank you! You are officially my favorite!” Roman exclaims, rushing a smushed kiss on Deceits cheek, striding away without a second thought.  Deceit rolls his eyes, using his glove to wipe away the remains.

“And suddenly, I miss being hated” Deceit states, obviously joking but maybe not.

Roman reaches the end of the hall, standing triumphantly in front of the entrance to what they label the ‘Imagination’. Roman has to wonder what Patton is doing. He looks to his left, a star studded door with his own name plastered across. The sides had agreed to put the twins next to the land of wonderment, seeing as they would use it the most. Patton and Virgil were next and then Logan and Deceit, who doesn't seem to need it as much.

Opening the door could be easy or very hard, depending on whos on the other side and what they were doing. For example, when Roman and Remus use the space for training or storytelling they tend to keep it shut to protect the others from danger. Surprisingly, Roman found it quite easy to pry open. Thankfully, ruling out any danger the moral side might be experiencing. However, that thought left his mind quickly as something else wafted through.

A heavily intoxicating smell, dripping with ambrosial sweetness, blessed Romans nostrils. You know those cartoons where the character will smell something and float to it, absolutely head over heels for the source? That's how Roman felt and he isn't even past the door. Taking another step he notices how different it looked, instead of a vast field of trees and mysterious towers, it was enclosed. A cozy atmosphere, warmth and comfort engulfing Roman as he walked further into the room. The wooden floors, padded with hazel walls, lined with shelves on shelves of candy.

“Hello?” Roman calls out, grasping to whatever realism he had left. The candies were labeled, each container filled perfectly to the top. Some knocking and tripping around turned Romans attention. “Patton?” He hopes. After a moment, the moral side appears,  his goofy trademarked smile plastered on his face. Roman first notices the container he holds in his hand, then slowly everything else. The apron full of stains and marks clearly sprouting from his candy fun, his hair is practically three different colors, and his glasses aren't even covering his eyes.

“Ro!” He identifies, readjusting a container before making his way to Roman. “What's up buttercup?” He asks, Roman fixes his crooked glasses. “Thanks” He grins.

“What is all of this?” Roman marvels, his eyes landing on a container labeled caramel.

“Candy!” Patton states quite obviously, Roman turns to him raising an eyebrow. “You knew that...got it” He claps his hands together, flour (Presumably, could be a plethora of candy making ingredients) puffs into the air. “Would you like a tour?” He offers, his sweet smile.

“Oh one hundred percent!” Roman agrees, Patton squeals taking the creative’s side hand, the chalky warmth grounding Roman. They begin walking around, starting at the front, Patton leads him through the kitchen. Multiple stations are set up, representing all the different kinds of sweet treats. Before they continue, Roman tugs slightly at Patton stopping in his tracks. “But...why? Pat...what is all this for?” He questions, hoping he doesn't sound negative.

“It's fun! And not to toot my horn, but I’m good at it!” Patton compliments, rare for the moral side. Roman looks at what used to be a battlefield of adventure “Oh! I promise Ill clean up, I know you and Remus have a fun adventure tomorrow. Logan wants to browse the library soon, and Virgil wants to try his hand at a haunted house and Dee-” Roman, struggling to keep up, stops him.

“Pat, take a breather” Roman suggests, Patton smiles apologetically. “Do you have all of our schedules memorized?” Roman checks, Patton nods quickly. The sweet smell, turning grim as it hits Roman. “And you take care of the mind palace, and our rooms, and the food and oh my god…” He trails off, growing increasingly guilty. Patton frowns, following Romans own sad expression. “You don't have time during the day, so you do it at night...when do you sleep?”  Roman waits, fearing the answer.

“No no! Don't worry, I only do this every once and awhile” Patton assures, he snaps, the scene shifts. Roman and Patton sit across from one another, the space is more open but Roman can see the factory and storage in the back. “Would you like to try some candy?” Roman nods unsure, the room is bustling but there's no one there. It's just the two of them. “I added some soft noise in the back so it would feel a little less...creepy” He admits “Alone, in a factory, at night-

“Horror movie recipe” They recite in unison, laughing it off after. Patton smiles, inducing more to appear. A cart with multiple plates all labeled with candy atop appear, candles and three different beverages take their place on the table.

“Bon appetit!” Patton places two plates in front of them, Roman practically bouncing out of his chair takes a bite, slowly the evening continues until the pair find themselves huddled around the fire, blankets and fresh hot cocoa.

“This was...really nice” Roman compliments, licking the marshmallow mustache away. “You're a pretty good chef Pat” Patton looks away, hoping the amber sparks from the fire cover his ever growing blush.

“I like to bake when Im sad” Patton admits, stirring away the adorable cat mallow he created.

“But you're always baking” Roman notes, a solemn look as he watches the reflection of fire ablaze in Patton's glasses.

“I just like to bake, not just when I'm sad...I promise!” Patton assures, Roman nods a soft sigh. He moves himself closer, connecting their blankets. “Ro?”

“Do something for me?” Roman hopes, Patton hums sweetly. “Come to me? Instead of disappearing, come find me ok?” Patton yawns allowing Roman to meet his hand. “Promise? We can bake together” Roman jokes, a proposition Pattons not opposed to. “Everything's better with a partner”

“A partner…” Patton marvels, he leans his head on Romans shoulder nodding as his eyes blink their way into the dark. “I promise” He finalizes, Roman smirks relieved, cuddling closer to the moral side. His arm wraps around Patton, a soft kiss on his forehead. “I...promise” As Roman fiddles with Patton's careful fingers in his own he thinks to himself, a satisfactory ending to the perfect night.

[fantastic-bby]

Protect Me, My Aurora

Pairing: Reader x Hongjoong

Word count: 2.3k

Genre: Angst, light angst, kinda fluff but not really 

Summary: Hongjoong struggles to move on without you 

Warning: Mentions of loss, grief, death

A/n: I cried writing this, edited it and cried more. Then I listened to Aurora and I cried again. I basically cried the entire time. Also bold = flashback.

He had spent so long trying to recover but it just wasn’t going to happen. Every night he thought about you, every night he wished you were by his side, every second that passed he wished he could spend it with you. Days passed, then weeks, then months, then a year. He had spent a year trying to forget you desperately. His mind would go blank when he saw something that reminded him of you, his heart would ache when he would think of you, his soul yearning for you whenever he remembered how it ended. 

He never imagined what his life would be like if you left, but now he had to face the pain with every passing moment. He missed your touch, your voice, your warmth; he missed you. But how was he supposed to get you back to him? He wondered every day what it would be like if you hadn't left. All he could do was replay the memories you shared together since that was what was left.

"Hongjoong-ah." You walked into the toilet in one of his sweaters that was too big for you. You wrapped your arms around his waist as he brushed his teeth. "Good morning." You sighed, pressing your cheek to his bare back. He washed his mouth and placed his toothbrush in the cup before turning to you,

"Good morning, (Y/n)." He smiled as he hugged you back, pressing a soft kiss on your head. "How are you feeling, jagiya?" He asked as he pulled away, inspecting the cut on your nose. You smiled as you moved your head away,

"I'm better now that you're here." You giggled. "You are my medicine." You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his nose, "You make me feel better. My aurora."

He was broken as he sat in his bedroom, forcing himself not to look through the old photos you shared together. He sat on the messy covers, his knees to his chest as he stared at the drawer of his dresser that held a box containing all that he had left of you. The sweater you would always wear sitting on his lap as he took in your scent. He needed to move on but he couldn't.

"Joongie-ah, which one is nicer?" You walked out of the bedroom in your robe, holding up two dresses. He looked at the navy blue one, then at the white one, 

"You're still gonna look beautiful in whichever." He shrugged but it wasn't the answer you were looking for. 

"Joong, I'm serious!" You pouted at him. You wanted to look nice since you were attending an awards show with Hongjoong, an awards show where ATEEZ were nominated and you were sure they were going to win.

"The navy blue one is lovely, Jagiya."

He reached into his bedside table and pulled out a notebook. He flipped through the pages, stopping at one of the songs he had written. Aurora. He remembered how excited you were when you first heard it. Despite writing it for ATINY, he knew he wrote it for you as well. He was struggling before he met you. Being the only trainee at KQ was hard enough, he had the pressure of leading his group members. When he accidentally bumped into you at a cafe, spilling coffee all over you he wondered now whether it was fate that brought you two together. You pulled him out of the darkness and surrounded him with light, keeping him safe from all his bad thoughts. 

“Shit!” He frantically tried to catch the falling cup but it was too late. Your crop top was covered in iced coffee, goosebumps forming on your skin from how cold it was. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” He quickly grabbed tissues and handed them to you. 

“I-It’s okay. Today’s not my day.” You let out a small laugh as you started to dab the coffee off of your white shirt. He was looking at his phone when he turned around, unaware of your presence right behind him and he ended up bumping right into you, spilling your coffee all over you. 

“I’m so sorry, I’ll buy you a new drink.” He quickly turned around before you could say anything and you just let him. 

“An iced mocha.” You spoke out at him, loudly enough that he would hear you and he nodded, heading straight to the cashier. 

His mind was suddenly being overwhelmed with all the times you spent together as he read through the messy, scribbled lyrics of Aurora in his notebook. His tears were dripping onto the page and onto the writing. 

“Joongie-ah, this is so nice! How did you come up with it?” You asked, your face showing pure awe and admiration as you listened to the new song he had come up with. 

“We were performing one day and I looked at the crowd. It looked like they had some kind of aurora surrounding them.” He smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you into him, “I also thought about you a lot while I was writing this song. You make me really happy, jagiya.” Your face was quick to blush, not knowing how to react. 

“You think of me as an aurora?” You asked. 

“I think of you as something that brought light to my darkness. Your light protects me from all my negative thoughts.” He smiled, bumping his nose to yours, “You protect me. You feel like an aurora.” 

His hand was running along the page before he couldn’t take it anymore. He shut the book and placed it on the bed, his head in his hands as he sobbed. It was too much. There was a hole in his chest and no one but you could fill it. His spark was being put out without you with him. He was losing himself without you. 

“(Y/n)? Jagiya?” He stepped into your shared apartment to see you wrapped in multiple blankets a mug of tea in your hands. 

“Joongie-ah!” You called and he quickly stepped out of his shoes and towards you. “It’s scary.” You pouted and pointed to the TV, showing a horror movie playing. He chuckled at you, 

“Why didn’t you wait for me to come home first?” He sat himself beside you and you immediately scrambled out of the blankets to cling onto him. 

“I thought I could prove to you that I don’t scare ea-” You cut yourself off with a scream when a jumpscare popped up and buried your face in his chest. 

“You definitely proved yourself, (Y/n).” He laughed as he held you.

He got up from his bed and grabbed his car keys, not sure of where he was going but he needed to get out of the apartment. He wiped his tears away, glad that none of his neighbours were in the lift with him. He quickly walked out of the lift and into his car, igniting the engine and driving out of the parking lot without hesitation. He was still unsure of where he was going as he cried, struggling to see through his tears as he drove. 

“Joongie, be careful.” You whined as he pretended to swerve the car playfully, making you squeal. “Im serious!” You slapped his arm lightly as he laughed. 

“I’m always careful when you’re here, (Y/n).” He poked his tongue out at you, giving you his free hand to hold while he drove. “I’ll stop now, okay?”

“Promise?” You held out your pinkie at him when he reached a traffic light. 

“I promise, my aurora.” He wrapped his pinkie around yours with a smile on his face. 

The car stopped at the side of the road, his head dropping to the steering wheel as he cried. He stepped out of the car and dragged his legs across the grass and up the hill. He wiped his tears with the back of his hand and fell to his knees in the grass. He looked up at the night sky, trying to stop his tears. He looked around the familiar spot, more memories flooding him

“Keep your eyes closed, jagiya.” He smiled as he guided you up the hill. 

“You’re responsible if I trip, Joongie.” You said as you kept your eyes closed, making a chuckle leave his lips as he stopped. He moved your hands off of your face to reveal a picnic mat neatly laid over the grass with plates and a pair of wine glasses. “Joongie,” You gasped at the sight. 

“Happy anniversary, (Y/n).” He sat you down, pulling out a wine bottle from the picnic basket, filling up the glass. He handed you one of the glasses and raised his own, clinking them together. “These two years have been amazing. I’m so glad that I bumped into you that day.”

“I am too.” You smiled as you sipped on the wine. 

He looked at the ground after he realised where he was; this was not where he wanted to be. He pulled himself off of the ground and stumbled into the car, starting the ignition and stepping on the pedal. He drove once again, his car halting in front of the cafe. His heart stopped, his breathing halted and he stared at the doors of the closed cafe. He remembers your meeting so well. All the dates that happened in this cafe, all of the surprise parties that happened at this cafe. But he knew this was not the right place. He stepped on the pedal, his mind still trying to figure out where his heart was taking him. 

His car halted for the last time that night and he looked at the sight of the location in front of him. He turned off his car and climbed out, walking into the place his heart wanted to be in. As he walked closer, it played in his head. 

“(Y/n)-ah?” He called for you when he stepped into the apartment. He pulled his phone out of the pocket at the sound of the ring and answered it without looking at the caller I.D. 

“Hyung,” Jongho’s voice ran through the speaker, “You need to come down here now.” He didn’t even listen to the rest of the what his younger member had to say and he was bolting to his car. He had never driven so fast before. He barely had enough sense to park his car properly as he barged into the building, pushing past all the people inside he found Jongho and Seonghwa sitting at the benches with their heads in their hands. 

“Where is she?” Hongjoong asked them. Both of their heads lifted up at the sound of his voice, 

“She’s in there. We can’t go in but we can look through the window.” Seonghwa stood up and brought Hongjoong to the window looking into the Intensive Care Unit that you were lying in. He felt his heart break at the sight of you on the other side, multiple tubes stuck into your mouth as the doctors were desperately trying to keep you alive. 

“No,” Hongjoong whimpered out, helpless as all he could do was watch. He didn’t move away from the window for the next four hours until the doctor came out, his legs were aching from standing but he didn’t care. 

“She’s awake. You can come in and see her if you like.” He opened the door to the ICU and Hongjoong ran inside. 

“(Y/n), jagiya,” He practically fell to the side of the bed as he took your hand in his. Your head slowly turned to him, 

“Joongie,” You whispered, your voice unable to get any louder with the tube that was pumping oxygen into your lungs stuck down your throat. 

“Jagiya, what happened?” He asked, standing up and brushing your messy hair. Your head instinctively leaned into his touch as a tear ran down your face. 

“Joongie,” Your hand shakily brought him closer to you. “Hongjoongie, I’m always going to protect you, okay?” You whispered into his ear. He pulled away and stared at you in disbelief, already knowing what was happening. 

“(Y/n), please, just hold on a little longer. Please. Jagiya, don’t let go just yet.” His tears were streaming onto your hand as he shakily pressed your hand to his lips. 

“I promise I will never let anything happen to you. Like you said, I’m your aurora.” You were crying yourself, the tears difficult to stop. “I love you so much, Kim Hongjoong. I’m sorry, but I have to leave now.” Hongjoong brought himself up, pressing one last kiss to your lips and pressing his forehead to yours as you drew your last breath. He shakily brought your knuckles to his lips once again, kissing your hand repeatedly as he held on to whatever of you he could.

“My aurora,” He sobbed into your hand, “My aurora.”

He fell to his knees on the ground, staring at your grave. Your name was engraved in the tombstone, the years you were alive written right under. He placed his hand on the tombstone, his heart finally being where it wanted to be. His hand shakily ran over the engravings, his lips parting but unable to form words as they trembled. His tears were watering the soil, his head hanging low as he cried. 

“Jagiya, it’s been a whole year.” He managed to make out, “I still miss you. Everyday I miss you more and everyday I wish I could’ve been there earlier to save you. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you when all you did was protect me.” His words were choked, his throat was hoarse from the crying and his face was swollen. His couldn’t stop the tears even if he actually tried. “My life feels like nothing without you, everyday I wonder about what it would be like if you were still here.” His hands moved to gently touch the wilting flowers that laid right atop your grave. “But I know you’re still here when you can be. I can feel your presence. Your aurora. I can only ask so much from you and you promised me.” He pulled his knees to his chest, lowering his head, 

“The one last thing that I ask of you. The only thing that I will forever ask of you,”

Protect me, my Aurora. 

나를 감싸줘, my Aurora

[m0etenchandon]

A game of beer pong (Reader x Ben Hardy x Joe Mazzello x Gwilym Lee)

Authors note: This concept came to me watching a youtube video and i have not been able to stop thinking about it since. Taking matters into my own hands, here is a smutty fic about it. Sorry its without Rami. Also, english is not my first language so sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. It has also been literally 7 years since i last wrote anything that wasnt for school. Smut is also not my strong suit. Sorry it sucks. I, however, once had a smutty one direction one shot series that had 50 K readers on onedirectionfancition.com woops thats embarrasing

Warning: SMUT, reader x Ben Hardy x Joe Mazzello x Gwilym Lee, some guy x guy action (blink and you miss it), drinking, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms

Word count: 4.2 K

Masterlist

Lounging on the sofa, your head in Joes lap and feet on Gwils, the night had taken a dull turn when someone had decided to put on a movie on Netflix. In fact, no one really paid attention to it, just mindlessly scrolling through their phones, occasionally showing each other funny pictures. Ben pulled out a rather unflattering picture of a woman clinging on to a pillow and said, “look this is Y/N right now”.

“Oh fuck off Hardy, you’re just jealous Joe is getting all the attention and not you”

“Maybe I’m more jealous that you’re the one getting to lay in his lap”, Ben teased back at you.

“I know you are”, you said cuddling further into Joes lap. His hand stroked you hair.

“Wow guys, there is more than enough of me to go around”, Joe laughed.

“Why am I always the one being left out of things like this”, Gwil said, faking being hurt as he clutched his chest over his heart.

The teasing continued back and forth, but eventually, it died down and the boys went back to their scrolling. You however, had had enough.

“Guys, let’s do something fun! It’s a Friday night and here we are, sober and almost falling asleep! You´re so boring” you said standing up.

“Well, what do you suggest, YN”, Gwil asked. You simply went over to the cupboard where you knew Joe kept his booze. After successfully finding a full bottle of vodka, you also pulled out a six-pack of beers from the fridge and some red cups from another cupboard.

“What are you even doing?”, Joe asked, stunned that you were raiding his flat like it was your own.

“Setting up beer pong, duh! Now, do you have any balls?”

“I´ll show you balls”, Ben snickered, earning a wicked grin and wink from you. Joe groaned but went to his spare bedroom, shortly emerging with a few table-tennis balls in his hands.

“Perfect! Now get up you guys! This will be fun I swear”, you beamed at their reluctant faces.

“Alright, what are the rules then YN” Gwil questioned, helping you set up two triangles of glasses.

“We will play in teams of two, and the aim is like always to get the ball into the opponents cup. If you do manage to get it into their cup, the person on the other team whose go is next, has to drink the contents of that cup” you started pouring beer into some cups, and vodka into others.

“After drinking, you have to do a dare set by the other team. If the person throwing misses the cup however, they have to answer a question from the other team”, you finished, going to stand on one side of the table. Ben immediately followed and stood next to you.

“I want to be on YNs team, you guys suck at beer pong” he laughed towards Joe and Gwil who went to stand on the opposite side.

“Your loss, YN” Joe smugly said.

The game started innocent, with Joe missing the first cup and had to answer who his celebrity crush was. Now, it was Bens turn. He missed by half an inch, earning a loud laugh from Gwil and Joe. Their question for Ben, however, had you gasping.

“Ok, this game is not going to be boring. Ben, where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex”, Joe said with a ´cool as a cat´ tone in his voice. Your eyes went wide, and you saw Ben shift uncomfortably next to you.

“Wow, okay, uhm.. I guess in a car. Im not that adventurous really”, he said, a blush creeping onto his gorgeous face. Both Gwil and Joe started singing “im in love with my car” on top of their lungs. Off key obviously. You on the other hand, felt a pit in your stomach. Of course, Ben was ridiculously hot, but you’ve never thought of him in that way. Until now. Fuck. You wanted him to fuck you in his car, slowly fogging up the windows. This was going to be a fun game, and damn you had every intention on getting them all flustered by the end of it.

Gwil was next, and the ball went straight into the cup like it was no biggie. The cup, of course, was one of the vodka ones. You whined but poured it down your throat, followed by a few coughs.

“What is the dare then”, you questioned already feeling the alcohol mix with your blood. Gwil turned to Joe and started whispering to him, a devilish smirk planted on their faces. Shit.

“We dare you to, in detail, act out your last wet dream”, Joe said eyeing you down. You could hardly believe your own ears. They wanted you to do what!?

“No way I’m doing that, that’s ridiculous”, you stated. How could you even begin to tell them that it included all of them, this table, and lots of orgasms.

“And besides, you won’t be able to contain yourself if I were to do it”

“Fine, but we need some sort of punishment if we don’t do the dares”, Ben stated. You all nodded.

“How about, we have to remove an article of clothing if we refuse”, you said, toying with the hem of your shirt. You could hear Ben doing a sharp intake of breath and muttering “bloody hell” under his breath. However, they all agreed saying it was a great idea, and you complied. Trying to not look like a dork while taking your pants off, you turned around and pulled them down your legs. When you finally turned around, which took like a year Gwil thought, you were met with three pairs of eyes studying you hungrily. Thank god you had put on a (slightly see through) lace set from fenty.

“Guys pick your jaws up of the floor! My turn”, you stated smugly. You were simply loving the effect you had on them, and boy were you only getting started.

Having played beer pong a fair few times, you hit the cup with ease. Joe groaned and downed the beer inside of it, before looking at you with a questioning look, waiting for his dare. Before you could even get a single word out, Ben blurted out:

“Suck a hickey onto YNs neck”. His eyes were dark as he looked between you and Joe. The latter looked like a deer caught in headlights, so you decided to make things easier for him and walked over to the other side of the table.

“Go on then, do your best”, you whispered in his ear and saw him visibly shiver before bringing his lips to your neck. The soft moans leaving your mouth as you tangled your hands in his hair had him feeling lightheaded. Gwil and Ben was watching with awe, uncomfortably shifting in their positions on either side of the table. This game had taken a turn which none of them had seen coming, but that they found themselves desperately wanting. Their pants growing tighter and tighter.  

Joes lips left your neck with a pop, and he studied his masterpiece with a smug look on his face. His confidence had suddenly shifted.

“My turn”, he whispered into your neck, this time you were the one shivering. He pulled apart from you and went to do his shot which he of course made.

The game went on for several rounds, leaving two cups left on Gwil and Joes side, and three left on yours and Bens side. The dares and questions were only getting more and more raunchy, hitting peak when you had to pretend to do oral on a cucumber. Gwil and Ben were stood only in their boxers after being too shy to answer some of you and Joes wild questions. However, you still had your t-shirt and underwear one, the same as Joe.

It was Gwils turn, and the ball went straight into the cup. His eyes were drilling holes into you as you finished the beer.

“I dare you to make out with me”, he said in a moment of bravery, surprising even himself. You did not need to be asked twice. He looked divine where he stood, only wearing boxers which left very little to the imagination. You walked over and put your arms around his neck before crashing your lips onto his. His tongue immediately swept over your lips asking for permission to enter, which you gladly granted. He pulled you close to your body and you could feel how hard he was against your stomach. You couldn’t help but moan into the kiss and pressing yourself harder against him, earning a groan back. Ben and Joe looked at the two of you with lust in their eyes, their own boners feeling almost painful against their boxers.

After what felt like just a few seconds, you pulled away from Gwil and immediately went back to your spot to throw the ball. Acting like you weren’t even faced by the moment of intimacy a few seconds ago, you threw the ball straight into the cup. This time, Joe was the one receiving the dare.

“I dare you, Joe, to make out with Ben”, you said and placing a hand on Bens naked back. To your surprise, neither boys even though about it twice before crashing their lips against each other. As the kiss grew more heated, their dicks rubbing against each other slightly, you groaned. Wetness had started to pool in your underwear ages ago, and you were sure the boys were clearly able to see through your lacy panties at this point

“Fuck that’s so hot”, you muttered under your breath as they pulled apart.

“We aim to please, YN”, Ben winked your way earning another groan from the depth of your throat. There was a very apparent wet spot on the front of his grey boxers, telling you that you weren’t the only one enjoying the game.

Joe was up next, and he missed.

“Describe the last time you jerked off, and what or who you thought about”, Ben asked him earning a protest from Joe.

“That’s not fair, that’s embarrassing as fuck”, he whined.

“Well I guess you will have to take off your shirt then handsome”, you said swirling your wine glass that you had poured yourself a few rounds ago. He whined again but pulled his shirt off and threw it at the other pile of clothes in the corner of the room. You now had all three boys in just their boxers, and man, were you enjoying the view. Ben obviously looked like a Greek god, and you almost couldn’t keep your eyes off the lines going into his straining boxers. Gwil had a toned stomach, nice and lean. You would run your fingers up and down his torso all day. Then there were Joe. His little tummy got you all giddy inside, but those arms had you clenching your thighs together for some sort of sweet relief.

“Hmm what a sight for sore eyes you all are, boys”, you flirted. They all blushed, growing even harder.

There was now only one cup left before you and Ben had cleared them all, and you were more than ready to end this game and move on to other activities.

“You got this babe” you whispered into Bens ear as he got ready to throw the ball. And lo and behold, he made it earning a sloppy kiss on the cheek from you with an exaggerated “muah” sound.

“We did it. Hah, suckers”, you teased at Joe and Gwil. However, they were far from sad. Pure evil and lust was all that was evident on their faces.

“We still have one final dare, YN”, Gwil said in a low voice which made you want to pounce him right then and there. Both him and Joe started to walk around the table, intensely staring you down like you were their prey. Ben somehow seemed to understand what they were getting at and stepped closer to start playing with your hair. You gulped.

“You see, all this teasing has gotten us all riled up. Do you see what you do to us, baby”, Joe questioned. Your head was yanked down, and you looked at their bulges threatening to rip through the fabrics of their boxers. You gulped and nodded. “I think it is time you did something about it, don’t you boys?” They all nodded at Joes statement.

“Wanna feel those lips on my cock YN”, Ben whispered into your ear, impossibly close. You could feel his hot breath on your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

“Bet you are a tight little slut, aren’t you”, Gwil continued. You nodded again, even more wetness pooling in your underwear.

“We dare you to get on your knees and suck us off. Now”, Joe growled pushing you to the ground.

With shaking hands, you pulled his boxers down. His thick dick almost slapped you in the face in the process. You quickly started to lick at the pre-cum oozing out of his tip, wanting nothing more than to please him at this point. Joe hissed and pulled your hair into a sloppy ponytail, guiding you towards his hard length. You wrapped your hands around his base and slowly put the tip in your mouth, sucking lightly. The moans that came from his mouth were animalistic and porn worthy, which encouraged you to take more of him into his mouth.  Ben and Gwil palmed themselves, the latter had even pulled out his dick and was shamelessly jerking it at the sight of you sucking Joe off.

You took Joes balls in your hand and started to play with them, earning another deep growl.

“Fuck you suck my dick so good baby. I’m not gonna last”, he moaned. You hummed around him and pulled off with a “pop”, wanting this to last longer.

“Who´s next then”, you asked looking up and the other men. Gwil were quick to literally shove you onto his dick, which you gladly accepted. His dick was thinner but longer, making him hit the back of your throat with ease. As you sucked him off, you barely noticed Joe moving your body and pulling your underwear down until you felt a pair of lips on your clit. Joe had maneuvered under you, and you were hovering just above his face. He lapped at your juices making you moan around Gwil who was still mindlessly fucking your mouth with his cock.

“Fuck you’re so wet for us baby. Taste so good too. Gonna make you cum like the little slut you are, edging us on all night”, Joe said against your heat, sending shivers down your back. You reached towards Ben and pulled him out of his boxers, feeling bad that he was missing out on all the fun. As soon as you started jerking his painfully hard length, he let out a guttural groan. That voice of his was literally going to be the death of you.

You kept up your tempo on the two boys until Joe stuck two fingers inside of you and attached your clit with his tongue. Gwils cock slipped out of your mouth and your hand that had jerking Ben off dropped to the ground trying to stabilize yourself.

“Holy shit Joe I’m gonna cum”, you said starting to feel a tightening in your lower stomach. You grabbed onto Joes head and started rocking your hips against your fingers and tongue.

“Who’s making you feel this good huh, angel?”, Ben growled, hands coming down to play with your nipples. At the same time Gwil started sucking on the sweet spot on your neck, just next to the hickey from Joe from earlier. You were unable to form sentences as this point, racing towards the point of no return.

“Fuck.. you Joe! Omg you guys! Shit… im gonna.. im gonna!”. You didn’t even get to finish your sentence before pleasure washed over you, making you clench your thighs over Joes head, not even caring at this point.

He let you ride out your orgasm before the lifted you off him. Completely spent, you collapsed on the floor trying to regain your breath.

“That is the hottest thing ive ever seen”, Gwil said, going to stand alongside Ben and Joe.

“Yeah same mate”, Ben agreed.

“She tastes so good, want to try”, Joe asked. His fingers traced along Bens lips who gladly took them into his mouth. Joe then put his fingers into Gwils mouth. He licked them clean while staring you down, which made you grow even wetter.

“Let’s bring her to my bed and finish the job”, Joe said helping you stand. You were still high on your last orgasm, but damn if you were going to pass up the opportunity of having them all in bed with you at once.

Ben easily picked you up bridal style and let Joe lead you all to his bedroom before throwing you down on the bed. He quickly followed, spreading your legs and lining up with your entrance.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I met you YN. You can’t believe how many times I’ve thought about you while jerking myself off alone in my hotel room” he whispered into your ear. Fuck that was the hottest thing you’ve ever heard. His voice making you try to rub your thighs together for some relief. Little did he know you had done the same about him.

“Are you going to take my cock like a good girl, angel?”, he continued, earning a nod from you in return.

“I need you to use your words angel”. He stroked your chin and forced you to make eye contact with him. Those light green eyes were filled with lust and you whimpered at the thought of him inside you.

“Please Ben, I need you”, you whined. Ben immediately thrusted into you, filling you up to the brim. His cock was a perfect medium between Joe and Gwil, and you gasped at the size. He, however, did not let you get used to him and started thrusting at a slow, but hard, pace. You clawed at his back and went to kiss him. His lips were soft against yours. You bit down on his bottom lip as he perfectly hit your G-spot.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum again, Ben”, you moaned, arching your back.

“Think you can do one for each of us, darling”, Gwil asked stroking your hair. The mere thought of having four orgasms in one night made you see stars.

“Omg I need you all, fuck please let me cum Ben”. He snaked a hand down and rubbed fast circles on your clit while keeping up his hard thrusting. Your orgasm was fast approaching, and you clenched around his length as you came. Hard. You screamed his name as he came as well, you clenching around him being too much to handle. Ben rode out his own orgasm before pulling out and slumping down onto the bed, totally spent. You could feel his seed slowly dripping out of your entrance and down your thighs. You were totally spent, but neither Gwil nor Joe had had their turn yet.

“Gonna take you doggystyle ok, darling”, Gwil whispered crawling over to you. He easily turned you around and propped you on all fours, facing the head board of Joes bed. You were so spent you were unable to form words. Instead, you wiggled your bum in front of Gwils crotch, earning a low growl from him before the poked at your entrance with his cock. Sliding himself in was easy, your juices mixed with Bens cum made an excellent lube.

Once he bottomed you out, you moaned into the pillow in front of you trying to not cause a noise complaint from Joes neighbors.

“Fuck, you’re so tight for me, darlin´. Taking my cock so good, aren’t you? Feels good doesn’t it?”, he asked before biting into your shoulder. God that accent was going to be the death of you.

“Yes, Gwil.. fuck me.., make me cum again please, Gwil”

“I think.. oh my god.. Joe over here is feeling a little bit left out, isn’t he”, Gwil asked. His hand went to snake around your neck, slightly choking your moans. Joe was suddenly ripped from his trance staring at where Gwils cock entered your pussy and looked up at Gwil with a sheepish grin on his face.

“Take him into your mouth like the slut you are”

You made grabby hands at Joe, suddenly feeling like having his cock in your mouth would fulfill all your needs. He didn’t need to be asked twice, positioning himself at your lips. Gwil continued to thrust into you while you took Joe into your mouth. With every thrust, a moan escaped your mouth which sent electric bolts up Joes cock. Gwil still had his hand on your throat, feeling how Joe was sliding down and you swallowing around him. He brought his free hand down to your clit while simultaneously hitting your g-spot over and over again.

“Shit I’m gonna cum”, you moaned letting Joe slip out of your mouth.

“Go on then, cum for me darling. Clench your cunt around my cock”, Gwil growled feeling his own orgasm approaching. Your fingers dug into Joes thighs who was still in front of you, coming closer and closer to the edge. With one final, perfectly angled thrust, Gwils name fell from your lips as you came along with him. Both your moans mixing as you fell forward into Joes lap. He brushed your hair with his fingers as you came down from your third orgasm.

“Can you take one more for me baby girl?”, he asked in a soft tone. Although you were completely spent, you really wanted to feel Joe. All of him. Therefore, you nodded looking into his eyes. He lent forward, his lips briefly meeting yours. They were gone way too quickly though.

“Gonna make it quick I promise baby”

He laid on his back and pulled you to straddle him. Just feeling his hard cock barely touching against your aching clit made you moan, which Joe of course heard.

“We don’t have to if you’re tired”. He brushed a strand hair behind your ear.

“No, I want to, Joe”, you answered finally lowering yourself onto him. Even though you were completely spent, the thickness of his cock stretched your falls perfectly. Muttering swear words combined with his name under your breath, you slowly started moving up and down his length. However, you had almost no energy left within you, so Joe held you up and started thrusting into you instead. His fingers immediately found your clit.

“One more orgasm for me baby girl, I know you can do it”.

His hips snapped faster and faster, and his fingers edged you towards your fourth orgasm of the night.

“Please YN, I’m gonna cum too soon. Need you to come for me, baby girl”

A few more thrusts and you were screaming at the top of your lungs. All the air was punched out of you and you didn’t even register that Joe came as well. You collapsed onto his chest and tried to regain your breath. Joe wrapped his arms around you, soothing you.

Ben had fetched a damp towel and cleaned himself up first. The sight of you letting his two best friends fuck you had made him hard again and he had to jerk himself off.

“Can I clean you up, angel”, he asked.

“Y.. Yeah. Tha-ank you Ben”, you barely managed to whisper. Joe slipped out of you earning a whine from the depth of your throat. You were so sensitive at this point. Ben tried to be careful cleaning his and the two others cum off of your pussy. You flinched even at the slightest touch. He apologized and pressed soft kisses to your lower back as he finished.

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced”, Gwil said. He laid next to you and Joe, looking at you with admiration in his eyes.

“Yeah, shit, I might have some new answer to those questions from earlier now”, Ben laughed. You chuckled slightly against Joes chest, still not having the energy to get off of him. That was a fun game.

“Sorry I’m smothering you”, you said to Joe. He smiled in return.

“You most certainly are not. I’m thoroughly enjoying this YN”

You fell asleep on his chest a few minutes later. Gwil and Ben also stayed the night and you woke up all cuddled in a heap in the middle of the bed. You could definitely get used to this, and this was not going the last time the four of you played a game of beer pong whenever you were bored (or horny)

@bowiequeen

Masterlist

[muertawrites]

An Unwanted Guest (Loki x Reader) [Part 1]

Summary: The house at the end of your street is supposedly empty, and it very much appears that way... That is, until one of the neighborhood kids comes to you claiming to have seen the monster that lives within it.

Word Count: 4,000

Author’s Note: I originally planned to write multiple fics over the month, but none of the ideas I came up with ended up working out, so I decided to devote the month to just writing one really good, long, suspenseful fic instead. I’m personally very proud of this one, especially since she’s so dummy thicc - part 2 comes tomorrow! Have a safe and spooky time this weekend, and don’t go exploring abandoned buildings without the proper equipment. Happy Halloween, freaks!!!

                                         ~ 🕸🎃💀Muerta💀🎃🕸

{ masterlist }

You had no reason to believe the house at the end of your street was haunted. It was simply empty; abandoned since anyone could remember. You assumed it was the mystery of the place, combined with the fact that you lived in a town so old that storied horrors were commonplace, that the rumors surrounding the house’s phantasmal residents began. Kids liked to scare other kids, and adults were unnerved by the unknown; the mystery and unease surrounding the ancient, empty house gave way to imaginings of what sort of terrible things could have happened inside for it to stand uninhabited for nearly a century. 

Murder was a common theme in many of the stories you heard:

“The man who built that house was having an affair, so he killed his wife and children and buried their bodies in the basement. When his new wife found out, he killed her and buried her down there, too.” 

“That house belonged to a serial killer. She used to kidnap kids and torture them, and she used their bodies for fertilizer in her garden.” 

“A mortician owned that house. He went crazy, and instead of burying the bodies like he was supposed to, he kept them in his house because he was lonely. He hid them in the walls. When people got suspicious, he left town, and all the bodies are still in there.” 

While all were creative and entertaining, you wrote most of the theories off as sensationalism - scary stories made up by children who wanted to scare their siblings, and parents who wanted to scare their children.

Still, sharing a street with the old property made you curious. From the front of your own house you could see it; perched atop a steep hill, its facade peeking through a threshold of dense trees. You often sat on your porch or by your front window and looked up at the house, watching the neighborhood cats slip in and out of its hidden porticoes. It did nothing that any other abandoned house didn’t do, its dark, vacant eyes looking sadly upon its livelier counterparts below.

And yet, there was something entirely wrong about the house that made you believe it wasn’t as empty as it seemed. Though you saw nothing in the motions of the day-to-day that suggested life within, the building itself seemed to be alive. It seemed to breathe, inhaling and exhaling in time with the wind. When your eyes met the windows in the second story, you felt as though they were looking back at you, watching you as intently  as you watched them. It seemed to observe everything around it, taking stock of each change in season and weather, its attitude shifting with their rhythm. The house had a soul - a soul that felt entirely as human as your own. 

When Halloween rolled around, the house was something of a main attraction for the kids living in your neighborhood. Kids who were too old for trick or treating would attempt to break in, only to find the task impossible due to how terribly rotted the decrepit building was; younger kids would get in on the action too, daring their friends to go up and try to knock on the door. You found that most of the kids scared themselves before the house could, amused every year watching them scatter in fear when they attempted to traverse the curtain of dense foliage that protected the house from their prying eyes. 

This Halloween was the same as any other; you stood on your porch and gave out candy, enjoying the liveliness the holiday brought to your sleepy little corner of the world. It had gotten late; most of the houses on your street had turned out their lights for the evening, and only a few groups of children old enough to be out without chaperones wandered about, searching for something to do that could delay the night coming to an end. You decided, looking down at your nearly empty cauldron, that the remaining candy would be your own treat, and began to gather up your decorations to shut down this year’s haunts. 

Not long after your decision to turn in, the peaceful din of nighttime around you was broken by the sound of someone shrieking your name. 

Jack, the twelve year old boy who lived beside you, sprinted up the street towards your house, his face twisted with panic. He was accompanied by one of his friends; they were dressed like Batman and Robin, their booted feet shaking the boards of your porch as they clambered up onto it. Their faces were red, their brows glazed with sweat, and their chests heaving, each breath they exhaled reeking with terror.

“Jack,” you cried, dropping everything you held and catching him as he skidded into your arms. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” 

“We’re fine,” Jack panted, “we didn’t let it get us.” 

“What?” you asked. “Didn’t let what get you?” 

“There’s something up there,” his partner explained. She pointed up the hill, your gaze falling on the shadow of the abandoned house against the haze of the night sky. 

“The house is actually haunted,” Jack told you, his voice pitching with fear. “There’s a monster in there and it tried to kill us.” 

You furrowed your brow, letting your eyes shift between the two shivering children at your doorstep. The horror on their faces was undeniably genuine, but you had a hard time believing that supernatural forces could have caused it. 

“Jack, there’s nothing in that house,” you said, reaching out and patting his shoulder in an attempt to calm him. “You and I see it every day, right? Have you ever seen anything up there before?”

“We went into the garden,” his friend interjected. “There was something in the window, and then when we started to leave it was right in front of us.” 

“Yeah, it blocked us from the road,” Jack added. “We ran through the woods and it chased us. It was going to kill us, I swear it was!” 

The poor boy was hysterical. You pursed your lips together, looking back up to the silhouette of the vacant house atop the hill. All was dark as usual; you couldn’t even see flashlight beams to indicate anyone snooping about the grounds. 

“Are your parents home?” you asked Jack. 

“They went to the cinema,” he replied. “I don’t think they’ll be home until late.” 

Deciding your decorations could wait, you ushered Jack and his friend inside. You sat them at the kitchen table and heated some cider for them, serving each cup with a plate of chocolate biscuits. You waited until the warmth returned to their bodies and a relative calm had set in, their biscuits and cider half gone, before inquiring any more about their ordeal.

“What did it look like? The thing you saw?” you prodded as you added fresh cider to the cooling cups on the table. 

“I didn’t really see it,” Jack admitted, clutching his mug close to his chest. “Emily saw more than I did.” 

Emily - Jack’s friend - nodded. 

“I thought it was a man at first,” she told you. “It looked like a man, but it was too tall, and it had glowing red eyes. I screamed when I saw it and grabbed Jack and we ran away through the forest. We could hear it chasing us and growling but it stopped when we got back to the road.” 

You hummed, pondering her words as you leaned back against the kitchen counter. You’d heard of teenagers playing some pretty mean tricks on younger kids that came around the house on Halloween, but such tricks were common enough to be expected. Jack wasn’t an anxious kid by any means; he’d never been easily scared, and was used to the older boys’ pranks to the point that he would often warn the really young kids in the neighborhood what to look for when they went exploring up on the hill. Someone - or something - was definitely up there, working with more malice than usual for a kid like Jack to come away terrified.

“The older kids have probably just gotten creative this year,” you assured the two of them. “We could call it in, but I’d rather go up and make sure they’re not hurting anyone so we don’t waste the the police’s time on a night like tonight.” 

“With all due respect, miss,” Emily said, “have you ever seen a scary movie? Nobody ever goes to check something out and comes back alive.”

“She’s right,” Jack agreed, nodding his head furiously as fear began to creep back into his expression. “What if it really is a monster?” 

You couldn’t help but smile at their concern as you pulled a flashlight down from one of the cupboards, slipping it into the pocket of your jacket. 

“I’ll have my phone with me,” you told them. “I’ll text you to let you know where I am at all times, and I’ll call the cops if anything goes wrong.”

You then went to the hall closet and retrieved a heavy crowbar, which you swung menacingly over your shoulder, grinning mirthfully at the kids as their eyes went wide. 

“And besides, no one who ever died in a horror movie had a very good weapon,” you said. “Michael Meyers wouldn’t have stood a chance against me if I’d run into him.”

Though Jack and Emily continued to protest your going to investigate, you assured them that everything would be fine; nothing truly dangerous had happened in your town for decades, and you promised that you wouldn’t be going too close to the house; just checking around the property for any kids causing trouble. You told them to stay inside, lock all the doors and windows if they needed to, and with a click of the switch on your flashlight, you were off. 

The climb up to the top of the hill was lonely and black, your path lined with dense forest on either side. Wind rustled angrily through the trees above, sending up a tempestuous din that drowned out the neighborhood’s quiet evening ambiance. Crows called to each other from either side of the road, and all you could see was what was illuminated by the dim beam of your torch. As you neared the top of the hill, the crunch of leaves beneath your feet began to fade into the churn of gravel, the pavement crumbling into dirt as it turned off into the rounded driveway of the old house. 

Upon a cursory glance around the front yard, nothing seemed amiss; no beams from other flashlights, no screams of stray trick-or-treaters, hardly even an animal to be found. All was silent, which unnerved you. 

You made your way closer to the house, shining your torch upon its face. It had been a nice home once; far grander than any of the other houses in the neighborhood, which had all been built after the end of the first World War. The abandoned house was much older; you guessed as old as the 1700s, or maybe even earlier. 

It was built of sturdy red brick, some of which had begun to come free from their holdings and tumble into the yard below. A large, pointed structure made up the center of the building, from which two separate wings stretched on each side. Each wing was two stories high, with the center of the home standing a story taller than its siblings. The house was preceded by a rounded driveway; one traditionally intended for horses and carriages. A grand stone porch stood hardly supported by a crumbling set of stairs, atop which were a set of large wooden doors. The lantern that had once lit the entryway lay shattered at their feet. Every window of the house that wasn’t broken was boarded up, and most of the roof’s shingles had either been blown away or were barely clinging on. Vines and moss covered the house’s brick facade, the vines creeping in and out of crevices in the masonry and making their home where they were least wanted. As you rounded the side of the house, overgrown grass and shrubbery grasped at your feet and ankles, threatening to trip you if you made a misstep. One of the trees lining the house’s north wing had reached its branches through a second story window, growing into the building as if it intended to move in. 

The back garden was in an even worse state than the front of the property. Herbs, flowers, and weeds overran the place, taking up every available inch of once neatly groomed land. The foliage reached all the way to the treeline, many hundred yards from where the garden began. Brick pathways that once brought order to the space were now in ruin, many of them buried beneath vines and shrubbery that had begun to strangle them decades ago. The house itself had almost completely fallen apart in the back, entire sections of its foundation missing and the steps leading to the back patio completely fallen away. You raised your flashlight up over the windows of the conservatory, its windows shattered and coated in a thick layer of grime. 

You circled around the other side of the house, peeking into the surrounding forest to try and catch anyone who might be hiding. By the time you came back to the front yard, you’d only managed to startle a few crows who were picking at a few bits of candy left behind by visitors earlier in the night. The house was just as lifeless as you’d said it was; the monster the children had seen must have been the work of a particularly twisted bully. Satisfied, you began to make your way back to the road. 

The metallic sound of splintering glass stopped you in your tracks. It was faint; not as if someone had thrown something through a window, but as if a shard of glass had been dislodged from its frame, shattering to the ground below. 

You turned back to the house, raising your flashlight to the lower story of the south wing, where you were certain the sound had come from. For a split second, something got caught in the beam. It slipped out of sight before you could make out much of what it was, but you managed to steal a glimpse of its face before it disappeared into the darkness; sharp, ghoulish features set into skin the color of a stormy sea, with bright crimson eyes that flashed under the glare from your torch. 

The thing was certainly not human. 

You made your way back up the front drive of the house, curiosity getting the better of your fears. The broken lantern on the porch was too massive to traverse, so you made your way again to the back garden, where a bit of crumbled foundation lay dislodged from the rest of the house below one of the conservatory windows. You easily scaled it, allowing you to access the room via the gap in the broken pane. 

You smashed what was left of the window with your crowbar and tossed the tool inside as discreetly as you could, holding your torch between your teeth so your hands were free. You swung one leg over the threshold, then the other, cursing as your knee scraped a stray shard of glass and was sliced open, causing you to lose your balance. In an attempt to grab hold of something and steady yourself, you cut your palms on the jagged edges of broken glass protruding from the window frame. You tumbled gracelessly to the conservatory floor, dropping your flashlight as the back of your head smacked against the tile, the impact vibrating through your skull.

For a few minutes, you lay where you fell, clutching your bloody knee with your equally bloody hands, eyes shut in agony. Of all the idiotic horror movie decisions you could have made, you chose what might have been the worst; you were injured, possibly concussed, writhing on the ground in a growing puddle of your own blood, and you’d dropped the only weapons at your disposal. You stood no chance if the monster lurking in the shadows (if it were a monster at all) happened to be hungry for human flesh.

Once your head stopped ringing from its collision with the floor, you slowly turned yourself onto your side, feeling around as far as your arm could reach for either the flashlight or the crowbar. As your fingers, wet and starting to become sticky with drying blood, roamed over the tile, however, you noticed something odd; the floor wasn’t cold. 

Being well into the midst of autumn, the air had been chilled and damp for weeks now; you would expect the conservatory of an abandoned house to be freezing. Instead, the tile below you met your skin with a comfortable coolness, like the underside of a pillow overturned on a hot night. The air around you was considerably warmer as well; you could feel the heat radiating from a fire that couldn’t have been more than a few dozen yards away. 

You opened your eyes to find the clawed foot of an ottoman’s leg staring resolutely back at you. The darkness you expected to find around you was instead a warm, gentle glow, flickering from an entryway at the side of the room and casting deep shadows on the furniture inside; furniture that looked well kept and frequently used. 

Slowly, as not to dizzy yourself or further upset your injuries, you sat up, turning your head carefully as you surveyed your surroundings. The tall, arched windows and glass ceiling of the conservatory still stood above you, but were replaced with glass and fixtures that were entirely intact, the only broken window being the one you entered through. Instead of a greenhouse, the room was fitted as a sitting room; the ottoman you were acquainted with stood between a loveseat and a set of living chairs, all intricately carved from fine, dark wood and upholstered in rich leather. Furs were draped over the backs of the chairs, and low shelves stacked with antique volumes lined the walls where the windows ended and the house’s foundation began. Velvet curtains hung partially open over each set of panes. 

You rolled, pressing your uninjured knee to the floor and hoisting yourself onto your feet. Once standing, you faced an archway that led to the rest of the house; the light that spilled through it emanated from a fire, which you could hear faintly crackling in the next room. You peered as far into the room as you could without taking a step, assuring that, as far as you knew, the creature you saw from the outside of the house didn’t lurk within. You found your crowbar at the foot of the window you broke and, wielding it over your shoulder as best you could with your lacerated hands, made your way cautiously forward. 

The next room over was the entrance hall. Again, instead of the dilapidated, decaying structure you expected to find, you were met with a space that was very much lived in, lit by a chandelier and warmed by a large fireplace at the foot of the stairs. These stairs led to the upper stories of the center building, as well as to the second floor of each wing, and split into two descending limbs which wrapped around the wall the fireplace was set into; its chimney climbed up into the ceiling, obscuring the second story landing and the stairs that led up to the building’s third floor. Corridors on either side of the room led into the north and south wings of the house, each guarded by a set of ornate wooden doors. A massive, intricately woven rug covered the expanse of the floor. You were baffled by the place, starting to become unsure where exactly you stood in terms of reality. 

Taking a deep breath to compose yourself, you ventured forward into the south wing, cautiously pushing its sentry doors inward. You were met by a long hallway, upon which one wall was lined with tall, arched windows shielded by more sets of velvet curtains. More sets of doors were laid into the opposite wall, each lit by a wall sconce glowing with orange flame. Upon the walls hung multiple detailed tapestries, each depicting scenes you could only guess came from myths; most of their imagery featured large beasts and various godlike deities. You examined these stories as you walked, only noticing you reached the end of the hall when the tapestries themselves came to an end. 

You stood in front of the last set of doors in the row, wondering if you should risk attempting to open them. Your head swam with confusion, and you felt the only way to clear it was to continue exploring. Had you fallen into some sort of time warp? Was this an alternate dimension where the house remained inhabited? Had you hit your head hard enough that you were hallucinating all of this? Maybe you’d wake up in a hospital bed and find that it was all some sort of vivid dream. Or maybe you were dead and this was purgatory. No matter what the case, something propelled you forward, desperate to find answers, and you reached for the handle of the door before you. 

You entered a library, one which spanned both the ground and upper floors of the south wing. Windows as high as the second story covered two walls, while the rest of the room was split by a balcony, each floor housing built-in bookcases filled to their brims with albums and artifacts. A fireplace beside the door you had just come through was beginning to die out, its embers flickering gold in the darkness, illuminating a set of leather sofas draped with furs; they were much like those you’d encountered in the sitting room, but much larger, plusher, and more welcoming. 

Beyond this area stood an ancient looking desk, its legs engraved with Celtic knots and its top littered with various scrolls and huge, leather bound books, each scrawling with characters in a language you’d never seen nor heard of. Further befuddled, you wandered upstairs, where, nestled between the bookshelves, were another set of doors. You eased them open, leaning forward to peer behind them before you stepped in. 

The connecting room was a bedroom, and a grand one at that. Though the only light came from a dim lantern placed upon a table in its center, you could still take in the room’s layout; a bed dressed in pelts and linens sat pressed against the wall to your left, its wooden headboard leaning between more sets of towering windows and curtains. At the foot of the bed was yet another sitting area and fireplace, furnished in the same fashion as the others you’d encountered. The ceilings were high and domed, coming together in a graceful point above the center of the room like the ceiling of a Gothic cathedral. Moving inside the bedroom, you caught sight of an archway leading to what you assumed was a bathroom, and two more pairs of double doors that must have led to other parts of the second story. 

You crossed the room, choosing one of the doorways and resting your fingers upon its handle. As soon as your skin grazed the cool metal, a broad, frigid hand landed firmly on your shoulder, digging its nails into your flesh and spinning you roughly around to face its owner.

Part 2

[wonwoosthetic]

Jealous Of The Winter Soldier || Jake Gyllenhaal

Firstly I want to say, that I’m really sorry, that I didn’t post this request yesterday, but my internet wasn’t working and I couldn’t post anything, not even without Wifi (no idea what happened). BUT I’m still happy with how this imagine turned out and I even got to edit it a bit more :)

I also feel like this one is quite long, do you like imagines at that length or would multiple parts be better?

A Masterlist is going to come soon, probably today - I’ve been wanting to make one, but I never thought that I would have so many requests and imagines, so THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Thank you for this request whoever you were, I hope you and everyone else enjoys it! :)

Request by Anonymous:  Can i get a jake gyllenhaal one where the reader and him have been dating fpr awhile but he gets jealous of readers friend sebastian stan since he’s around her all the time

Warning: none

Pairing: Jake Gyllenhaal x Reader, Friendship with Sebastian Stan

Word Count: 3,308 (My longest imagine EVER! :))

Jealous Of The Winter Soldier

You were slowly waking up with the sun shining very brightly through the window. The moment you opened your eyes you groaned and shut them immediately again. Assuming it was very early due to the light having an orangey colour, you got your left arm out from under the chunky blanket and reached out to your nightstand, where your phone should have been – but it wasn’t. You moved your hand around on the surface trying to find it, without opening your eyes, but that try failed – your phone was not there. You got annoyed thinking about having to get since your friend Sebastian Stan was coming over and you were still not sure about the actual time. Turning over onto your left side, you tried opening your eyes once more and got a good look at the sleeping figure of your boyfriend next to you.

A smile started to spread on your lips gazing at the peaceful look on his face. The small smile he held, made you even happier, but then you remembered you weren’t going to spend a lot of time together today because he had an audition for a new movie and you had a photoshoot for the Avengers: Infinity War poster, including a magazine cover and an interview with your co-star Sebastian Stan.

You turned around again onto your right side and slowly got up properly that time, trying not to wake Jake. You slid the covers to your left and stood up, turning around, you placed the blanket back, making it look somewhat neat. Next to your nightstand was the door which led to yours and Jake’s walk-in-closet – you opened it, got in and started looking for a comfortable sweater and deciding on taking one of your partner’s after only a couple of seconds. Men’s sweaters are just WAY comfier than women’s and that’s a fact. After putting it on, you exited your wardrobe and the bedroom, trying to close the door as quietly as possible. You went down the stairs and started to feel a bit chilly already. When you entered the kitchen you saw, that Jake had left one of the big windows ajar

“Of course, he did”, you mumbled under your breath. You got easily cold, but Jake loved the chilly feeling and tried to always leave a window or a door, that leads outside, open without you noticing and he got home a bit later the night before, so you hadn’t been able to check if they were all closed. You started looking around the room searching for your phone and found it on one of the counters, wondering why you had left it there. Turning it on, you saw it was only 6:30 a.m., but since you didn’t feel very tired you instantly decided to stay downstairs and maybe start a bit of cleaning. Starting with wiping the counters, to removing some of the soot on the stove, over to the dining room, cleaning the table. Lastly, you placed all the pillows on your sofa into the position, you wanted them in, making it look nice and homely, and quite a bit more.

After catching up to all those chores, the time was 7:50 and footsteps could be heard from upstairs, signalizing that Jake woke up and would be downstairs any minute, so you decided on starting to prepare breakfast. About ten minutes later the footsteps got louder, indicating your boyfriend was walking the stairs. While you were standing at the stove working on some scrambled eggs, strong arms wrapped around your hips and a kiss got placed on your shoulder

“Good morning, gorgeous”, Jake’s voice was still deep from his good night sleep.

“Good morning, handsome”, you smiled, moving your head into his direction over your left shoulder to place a kiss on his lips. He released his grip on your sides and looked at the stove

“What can I do?”, he proposed helping.

“Ehm…”, you started thinking, ”you could put some toast in the toaster and maybe roast some tomatoes?” He nodded “Thanks for that difficult task.” You started laughing and proposed something new, letting the sarcasm in your voice be heard “Alright, take the fish out of the freezer, start making some Blackened Bass, cook potatoes, turn them into a mash, go outside get some oranges in the freezing cold and press your own orange juice. Oh, and don’t forget to go the shop around the corner and get some dragon fruit from China.”

Jake’s hands flew up in a surrendering manner “OK, OK, I get it. Put some toast in the toaster.” The both of you were laughing at this point. That was one of the many moments you lived for – making breakfast with your significant other, laughing and making stupid jokes. You could do this every minute of the day, only to hear his laugh and see that bright smile.

You put the finished scrambled eggs on two separate plates and went to the dining room to place them on the table. When you got back into the kitchen, you saw Jake holding your phone and reading a message

“Found anything interesting?”, you asked playfully.

“Sebastian wrote you a text. Be ready at nine, I’m picking you up. X Seb”, his voice was deep and didn’t sound even a bit amused “Why is he sending you an X?”

You knew Jake was a bit jealous of your co-star and on-screen love-interest -  not because he told you, he probably never would, but because his mum told you, that he informed her about his concern. It did hurt you a bit to know that Jake thought you were cheating on him with Sebastian, even though you assured him every day how much you loved him, by telling him and every other time by showing him.

“Because it’s Sebastian and he thinks he’s funny”, you walked over to him, wrapping your hands around his waist and hugging him tightly, “You don’t have to worry about anything. Don’t be jealous.”  Jake scoffed and moved away from you “Pfft, I’m not jealous, are you kidding me? If he was Brad Pitt, maybe.” His comment made you laugh, yeah sure, he was NOT jealous. He put your phone back on the counter and got the rest ready for breakfast, taking the toast to the dining room. 

You snatched your phone back and sent Sebastian a quick reply “Very sweet of you, thank you – I’ll try my best 😉”, he always made fun of how long you took getting ready, so you decided to joke around with him a bit. After putting the phone back, not waiting for a reply, Jake came back to grab two glasses and some orange juice from the fridge. Before joining him, you got two mugs from one of the cupboards and filled them with coffee, which you brewed earlier and put a bit of milk in Jake’s – you drank yours black. 

You sat across from your boyfriend and tried to start another conversation

“What are you up to today?”, you already knew the answer, but he seemed very tense and you wanted to make him possibly think about something besides your co-star. Jake answered, not looking up from his breakfast 

“I have this audition for a new movie, but I’m not too sure about it. Evelyn and Kim say it’s gonna be something big – I doubt it.”

He had always been very careful with his choice of movie, but his manager and agent were pretty much always right about upcoming roles for him. You started eating 

“Oh yeah, that one set in the 1850s, right?”

Jake gave you a short and silent hum of a yes. Alright, you thought, he’s really mad and doesn’t want to talk to me – well done, (Y/N).

The both of you finished your breakfast in silent and cleaned everything up afterwards – you took your plates, and now empty coffee mugs and stayed at the sink, starting to wash them, while Jake went back and forth between your kitchen and dining room to put back everything you used to put on the toasts and your glasses, which had been filled with orange juice. When Jake was done and made sure everything was back in place, he walked up next to you, gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, and went back upstairs to get ready. 

Right after you finished cleaning, again, you shot a quick glance at the big clock on the wall behind your sofa in the living room – 8:38 – oh no, Seb will be here in twenty minutes, you thought and said out loud “Dang it!”

You rushed upstairs and quickly made your way to your shared bedroom to get dressed as quickly as possible, not really caring, what you picked out since you were going to get outfits to wear. Jake just got out of the bathroom through the door next to his nightstand, on the right side – you passed him and closed the door behind you. Walking over to your sink, you took your toothbrush and started brushing your teeth, right after being followed by putting on a bit of make-up, just to make you comfortable. After opening the door to walk back into the bedroom, your boyfriend wasn’t there to be seen anymore, but a knock on the front door from downstairs was able to be heard.

You ran down the stairs again, while hoping Jake wouldn’t get the door and would have to see Sebastian, but you were too late and he was already greeting the Winter Soldier that stood outside. You got to the middle of the stairs and shouted

“Good morning, Seb!”

He started smiling and Jake moved out of the way, positioning himself next to the door “Hey, how are you?”

You hugged him and gave him a little peck on the cheek as a welcoming and greeting manner, before moving towards your significant other, who stood next to the shoe rack, to quickly put on your shoes, but you realized that you had left your phone on the counter

“Babe, could you get me my phone from the kitchen”, you asked Jake, since you were ready to go and didn’t want to make a mess with your dirty shoes. He nodded “Sure”, and got your device within a couple of seconds, making it for Seb and you not possible to start a proper conversation. He handed it to you and you reached for it, but he pulled it away in a quick move while having a cheeky smile on his face – he was asking for a kiss and you knew it. You slightly got onto your tiptoes and placed a loving kiss on his lips, he was definitely in a better mood

“Have fun”, was the last thing he said to you before looking at Sebastian and nodding towards his direction “Good to see you, man.” 

Seb returned it with a “Good to see you too.” 

You were still smiling, whispering another “Bye” to Jake and closed the door after exiting your house. After reaching his car, he got in the driver’s seat, obviously not before opening the passenger door for you in a polite manner and you sat in the seat next to him. 

During the short drive, you laughed and joked about what was going to happen today, until he got curious as to why your boyfriend was acting a bit weird before

“What was going on with Jake today?”

You decided to tell him the truth, knowing he would totally understand, besides probably finding it a bit amusing

“I think he’s jealous of you”, you told him shyly. He started laughing

“Jealous of ME? Jake Gyllenhaal is jealous of me? Oh… wow.”

“Oh please, come on, you know, you’re not that bad looking”, you defended him because Sebastian was good -looking, but everyone knew, that you just didn’t have that kind of relationship with each other and never would have, including Seb and yourself.

The male actor next to you was then wearing a jokingly cocky smile on his face “Uuuuh, you think I’m good-looking? Maybe Jake should be jealous.” The both of you were laughing and you hit him playfully on his right arm. Him being Sebastian, he became the drama-queen he secretly was and acted as if you had just broken his arm.

A short bit later you arrived on the set, on which the photoshoot and the interviews were being held. After opening the door, you got up next to him and you started walking next to each other

“Remember, Seb. No spoilers”, you warned him beforehand, knowing very well how he, Tom Holland and Mark were just not able to shut their mouths. He tried defending himself and put his right hand on his chest, where his heart was

“I am in shock, how could you ever think about me like that, (Y/N).”

Not laughing pretty much all the time, was purely impossible when being co-stars with the Romanian actor and doing all the press junkets would be even harder. You got into the building very quickly and after entering, a woman was waiting for you to lead you around – to your dressing rooms and the actual set with all the cameras and backdrop. Seb and you got into your Infinity War costumes and met again in front of a white backdrop

“I’m so happy they’re making them more comfortable each year”, he said, talking about your characters outfits – and he was absolutely right.

“Yeah, I remember my first one being an absolute nightmare, I couldn’t even use the toilet.”

The photographer behind you started to laugh and told you and Sebastian to stand next to each other at first in poses he wanted us to and then in some, which we thought would be good. After that, we had to get pictures individually while each of us was trying to make the other one laugh behind the camera. 

The shoot was done very quickly, due to the rest of the staff members staying very professional and you soon got to take the costumes off and were handed slightly more comfortable clothes which still looked smart – yours being a navy blue suit with a white blouse underneath and his was a smart black buttoned-down shirt, a black leather jacket on top, a pair of jeans. Sebastian got to wear some sneakers, while you had to walk in heels, making him drop some comments

“Oh, how comfortable my shoes are. What about you (Y/N)?” or “I could run a mile and you?” and a lot more – all of them being funny.

The two interviews were sadly over faster than you thought – you were having a blast. They asked some very typical questions, like “Where do you think your characters are going?” and “How much Taylor and Bucky will we see in Infinity War?”

Some of the more random ones though, were a lot of fun to answer and you even played Would You Rather in the second interview:

(I: Interviewer, Y: You, S: Sebastian)

I: Alright, would you rather be able to fly or be invisible?

S: Oh, easy, invisible.

Y: Yeah, I’m gonna go with Seb. I have quite a big fear of heights.

I: OK, fair, fair. Ehm… would you rather be the biological child of Loki or Tony Stark?

S: That one’s more for you (Y/N).

Y: Haha, I guess. I mean… playing the biological daughter of Loki is quite fun, but I feel like being the daughter of Tony would be too.

I: Well, you kind of play that, don’t you?

Y: Yeah, of course! So, I don’t know… hm. To be honest, I enjoy being the adoptive daughter of Tony as well, because I think-I think, he doesn’t really care, whether you’re his biological daughter or adoptive, he would treat you the same. So… I’m gonna stay with Loki.

I: Very interesting, and you Sebastian?

S: Oh, I would go for Tony.

Y: Really?

S: Of course! What the heck would I do with a frost giant as a father?!

Y: The same Taylor does, enjoy her life being adopted by Tony Stark, AND being bad and having powers like Loki.

S: Yeah, no, that’s not something for me.

I: Is it not?

S: No, I’d much rather enjoy my life, knowing I’m a human and being a spoiled brat like a very specific girl in the movie.

Y: She is NOT a spoiled girl, are you kidding me? (laughing)

Sebastian nodded his head secretly, acting like you wouldn’t be able to see him, making the Interviewer laugh.

(!Quick Note!: I’m thinking about starting to write a fanfiction/multiple imagine series about what they just talked about, would you be interested in that? Or do you maybe want to know a bit more about the idea? Please let me know 😊)

The day went by fast and before you even knew it, you were back in Seb’s car driving back home. You reviewed the day and laughed at all the things that happened. When he pulled up at your house to drop you off, you turned body towards him

“Do you want to come inside?”, but he shook his head politely

“No, thank you. I think you should talk to Jake again and assure him, nothing’s going on between the two of us. And also… I’m the last person he would want to see right now.” 

That made you smile

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” You rose a bit from your seat to lean over and hug him “I’ll see you. Good night”

“Good night, (Y/N).”

After opening the door, getting out, and closing it again, you kept standing there to wave Goodbye. As soon as Sebastian’s car was out of sight, you started walking to the front door and since you forgot to take your keys, you had to knock, which you regretted the second you did it. Only a couple of seconds later, it got opened, revealing your boyfriend in only his sweats. While looking at him, a smile started to spread on your face

“What if I was a crazy fan?” That made him laugh as well

“Get in, it’s cold.”

“No way, Jake Gyllenhaal is cold. Wow, what happened while I was gone?”

He didn’t answer but walked upstairs to lay back down and try falling asleep again. You took your shoes off and decided to join him without eating dinner since you had already eaten something at the shoot. As you entered your bedroom, Jake was sitting on his side of the bed, waiting for you

(imagine him not having these wounds please (:)

“I’m sorry.”

You wanted to go to the bathroom, but stopped when you heard those words and slowly turned towards him

“What?”

He looked up into your eyes – they held a lot of grief and an apologetic look in them

“I’m sorry about earlier. About everything, everything I said… about Sebastian and thinking that there’s something possibly going on between the two of you.”

You couldn’t hide the smile on your lips – Jake was a very honest man, but he had never said sorry about something like that. Walking over to him, you placed both of your hands on either side of his face and made him look up to you

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s normal to feel jealous”, he rolled his eyes at your comment, “and yes, you are jealous – don’t try denying that.” You gave him an assuring smile “I just found it a bit disappointing, that you didn’t trust me.”

“I trust you”, he assured you. You nodded and placed a kiss on his forehead, which made him smile widely. As you turned away to take your make-up off and brush your teeth in the bathroom, Jake slapped your butt and smiled seductively at you

“Hurry up and join me in bed.”

You shook your head smiling and tried to hurry.

Wow, that was a long one :) did you enjoy it? How are the gifs? Too many? Not enough? Unnecessary?

Also, I’m really sorry for the delay, but I hope you still liked it!

Thank you for taking your time to read it! :)

I really hope you have/had a great day/night!

[thallencambricaltran]

The Golden Hour

September Gabriel Prompts

Title: The Golden Hour

Pairing: Sam/Gabriel

Rating: Teen

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Warnings/Tags:  

Words: 2039

Prompts Used:

-Statement: The rain fell around him, the water cold but gentle in its cascade down his face, and he couldn’t help the smile that spread across

-Dialogue: “Are you going to come in, or just be creepy in my doorway?”

Sneak peek: It was raining in soft droves, winter cold rain mixed with still warm summer air and whirled together by a fall breeze. The sun was just approaching the horizon, sinking down to be embraced by the rolling plains of Kansas and seeming to seep the world below it with the colors of old stained glass. The gold and silver lined bellies and rain filled clouds arched through the sky, casting shadows and blocks of light across the ground in a mosaic of earthy hues.

Gabriel, the trickster and the messenger, flew to his usual landing place just outside the bunker.

Authors Note: The first 3 pages wrote themselves, the last few took me until now to finish. This is for the Gabriel Monthly Challenge, and you can find that here! (http://gabriel-monthly-challenge.tumblr.com/) This is just a simple, cute bit of Sabriel fluff and snuggles because we all need more of that good stuff. Shout out to my lovely beta, @cloversage61, for fixing my spelling and grammar errors (and reminding me to finish writing this.)

@gabriel-monthly-challenge @archangelgabriellives @archangelsanonymous@revwinchester @ttttrickster @archangel-with-a-shotgun @warlockwriterr

The Golden Hour

It was raining in soft droves, winter cold rain mixed with still warm summer air and whirled together by a fall breeze. The sun was just approaching the horizon, sinking down to be embraced by the rolling plains of Kansas and seeming to seep the world below it with the colors of old stained glass. The gold and silver lined bellies and rain filled clouds arched through the sky, casting shadows and blocks of light across the ground in a mosaic of earthy hues.

Gabriel, the trickster and the messenger, flew to his usual landing place just outside the bunker. It was much simpler to teleport out here and simply walk inside than have to wrangle with the warding surrounding the building, even for him. It was a simple huddle of trees, providing some shielding from the view of unwanted eyes, but almost none from the weather.

The rain fell around him, the water cold but gentle in it’s cascade down his face, and he couldn’t help the smile that spread across. By the sun, he loved this weather. It was just perfect for roasting marshmallows, sipping thick mugs of cocoa piled with freshly whipped cream, munching on caramel apples, and...

With a twitch, Gabriel shook himself out of his daydreams, he’d have enough time for that later, but right now, he had an appointment to keep. He popped a lolly into existence and stuffed it into his mouth, candy apple flavored of course, no need to suffer needlessly, and began his trudge up to one of the lesser used of the bunker doors. Sam had altered the bunkers warding enough to let him, but Gabriel himself preferred to use one of the entrances in which he was less likely to run into, you guessed it, Dean. The man still held the tiniest of grudges against him, although he couldn’t imagine why. (Definitely not for killing him multiple times, faking his own death twice and tormenting his brother on occasion.) He himself quite liked Dean, even if he was emotionally stunted, caffeine addicted, and a bit trigger-happy, he was also very entertaining. By this point, Gabe had reached the bunker’s door and shifted inside, his eyes adjusting instantly to the dimmer lighting inside. Shifting his lollipop back into a pocket dimension for later, he quietly closed the door behind him and gave prerequisite glance around him for any others. He knew of course already that none was around, his angelic senses told him the locations of all 3 of the people currently residing in the bunker. And if two of those figures were currently a little closer together than they strictly needed to be, he wasn't going to say anything about it. Still, he kept quiet as he made his way to his predetermined destination. It wasn’t as if he really needed to be quiet, it was more out of principle, and like, tradition. If he was going to be creeping around, he was going to be doing it well, dammit. Even if he didn’t have anyone to hide from aside from Dean, who hardly counted. By the same way he knew the locations of the others in the bunker, Cas also could sense other living beings. His grace, as an archangel was considerably larger than a mere seraphs, especially since he wasn’t currently masking his presence.

He knows that his brother is aware of his presence in the bunker, now and every time in the past that he has come. And his brother knows that he knows. And he knows that his brother knows he knows. And that was a lot less complicated than it sounded.

Anyways. He followed the now familiar pathway to a now familiar room, footsteps softening instinctively as the sound of soft breathing fell upon his ears. The whispering of a delicate page being turned, the deep thud of a heart beating in a broad chest, red blood rushing through veins and the impossibly gentle sound of lashes brushing against silken cheeks in a soft blink. Gabriel smiled gently as he listened to the sounds that were Sam, that were just as a part of him as the deep timber of his voice, his long legs and powerful thighs, the waves to his hair, the stubble that crept up on his cheeks when he hadn’t shaven in a few days. In Gabriel's opinion, everything about that stupid moose-man was perfect.

Gabriel lingered in Sam’s bedroom doorway. The positively picturesque moment brought him to pause and gaze upon the scene before him. The old lamps of the bunker, (and Dad, in this moment he sure loved those lamps a lot) the light filtered through in strong amber hues, washing the room in yellows and high contrasts, much as the sinking sun had outside. The golden light of the lamps hit the caramel highlights in Sam’s hair perfectly. Sinking into each wave upon his scalp and clinging to each tendril that fell to caress his face and shoulders. The rays brushed across his face, highlighting cheekbones, and emphasising the cut of his jaw and the shape of his throat. Finally, wonderfully, impeccably, the light touched his mouth in the gentlest of kisses, (as Gabriel wished to be doing now) and gently, so gently, outlined the perfect curve of his lower lip.

“Are you going to come in, or are you just going to be creepy in my doorway?” Gabriel glanced up from Sam’s lips to meet his smiling gaze, and answered in a smile of his own.

“I’d love to come in if I was so invited.” Gabriel teased, still not crossing the doorway, but playfully wiggling fingers in Sam’s direction.

“You’re always invited, you dork, now get over here.” Sam grinned boldy at the archangel and gestured to the spot on the bed next to him, having already marked his place in his book and set it aside.

Gleefully, Gabriel scampered over to Sam and jumped up next to him on the bed, planting a kiss on his lips as he did so and wrapping his arms around the taller man’s shoulders. His hair is pulled back into a loose bun, (which, in Gabriel’s opinion, was completely hot) and for once he’s not wearing one of his usual flannels and is simply in a plain green t shirt. Pausing his kiss to admire the man before him, he admires the almost scandalous lack of clothing( a single t-shirt and jeans for this man was basically naked), and the way the green hue of his shirt brought out the green in his hazel eyes and highlighted their warmth.

“See something you like?” Sam said teasingly. As Gabriel belatedly realized that he’d been staring soppily at Sam for a number of minutes now. Snapping back into the present, Gabriel wrapped both arms around Sam’s waist to pull him into a tight hug.

“Always, Sam-a-lam.” He said with his best wink and a smirk, pulling a soft laugh from the other man. Gabriel bounced back to better be able to look up at his giant moose.

“So Sammy! What movie are we gonna be watching tonight?” Gabriel asked, clasping his hands together and beaming up at him. In all honesty, he’d seen a number of the movies Sam had shown him before, but, seeing it with Sam at his side gave him new eyes and new appreciation for each one. Although sometimes he thought he enjoyed watching Sam watching the movie more than he actually enjoyed watching the films.

“And we get candy this time!” Gabriel reminded the taller man, who simply rolled his eyes at his antics.

“Yes, but, please go easy on the stuff, for my sake Gabe.” Sam huffed playfully.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it, and don’t worry, I’ll make sure there’s like, carrots and raisins and stuff for ya.” Gabe said, knocking his should with Sam’s. Or least tried to, it was more like knocking his shoulder with Sam’s hip, but like, whatever.

“Besides,” Gabriel reminded him, “You get to pick the movie!”

Sam just snorted at that. “I pick the movie every time, weirdo, you hardly know any of their names.”

“That’s because I watch TV shows, not movies, Sam, they’re longer!”

“In shorter chunks over a longer period of time, but yeah, I guess they can be longer.” Sam conceded.

Satisfied that he’d won his end of the argument, Gabriel flopped himself down across Sam’s bed, where they usually chilled while watching movies on a TV Gabriel had summoned a few weeks, (or was it months now?) ago. He’d thought the one in Sam’s room was too small, so of course he’d had to make it bigger.

“So what movie are we watching, anyway?” Gabriel asked.

“It’s this really great film,” Sam gushed, “It never really hit a big audience, but man, does it make you think-…” Gabriel let Sam’s voice trail off in his mind as the hunter stretched to curl around him. Dad, he loved this dork.

“Hey Sam.”

“Yeah, Gabriel?”

“Doesn’t one of us actually need to be standing, to like, put the movie in?” He asked.

Groaning, Sam pulled himself back up to insert the disk, and snagging the remote on his way back to Gabriel, who welcomed him back to the bed with open arms.

“Hello, Sam.” He whispered.

“Hi, Gabe,” Sam chuckled, pulling the smaller man in for a soft kiss.

Turning from Sam, Gabriel snapped his fingers, starting the movie without a need for the remote, and skipping straight to the previews.

“They’re one of the best parts, Sam.” Gabriel insisted as he sensed rather than heard or felt, Sam’s intake of breath.

“But the previews are so old!”

“I don’t care Sam! They’re fun to watch, like little mini movies with cliffhanger endings!”

Sam just tugged his angel closer, and huffed a light laugh into his neck.

- - - - -

Gabriel gently ran his fingers through Sam’s hair in just the way he knew the taller man liked. Gently tugging at the scalp before his fingers continued on to slip through the lengthy strands like silk. Even with Sam’s half asleep as he was, Gabriel could feel the contentment rumble through him, a deep mix between a purr and a growl.

Gabriel sighed softly. He had a large hunter curled up halfway in his lap, (or at least as much of the hunter as he could fit in his lap), and he had a movie that he knew was good (he hadn’t told Sam, but this was one he’d watched already), and his belly was blissfully full of sweets and popcorn. He wasn’t sure he could ever be happier. If he had ever been happier, he was hard pressed to remember it. At least at this moment, while sugar and the musk of Sam’s familiar scent addled his brain. Fingers moving in a common pattern, Gabriel selected delicate bunches of hair from Sam’s head, and in the ancient patterns he had learned as Loki, among the Celts and Vikings of old, began an intricate braiding, one that would fit his beautiful moose warrior, and his hair was just so perfect for braiding...

Sam woke up the next morning cocooned around Gabriel. He could feel a certain tension along his scalp that let him know Gabriel had braided his hair. Again. He really only pretended to be mad for appearances at this point, and Gabriel knew it was all a ruse. Sam shifted gently to work his phone out of his back pocket without waking the sleeping archangel, before snapping a quick selfie of the two of them, for memories sake. Gabriel’s long amber lashes fluttered on his cheeks, and Sam idly wondered if he was dreaming before gently planting a kiss on the sleeping man’s hair. He dropped his phone on the side table, he didn’t need it anymore, and moved to loop an arm back around his angel. He didn’t need to go on his morning run, not quite yet.

[roccoreceipts-blog]

CALLOUT FOR MARS / BARON / ROCCO / MIMI / PIPPI / MARIA WHO CURRENTLY OWNS @VINYLBITCHIN + @HANDFUCKIING + @FLESHPRAY + @SHESCHISM + BUNKERKEPT . CONTENT WARNING FOR ABUSE, PEDOPHILIA, RAPE, RACEFAKING, ETC.
 


a quick introduction though i'm kinda uncomfortable, im 17 i run a few blogs on this hellsite and i have some concerns for people's safety. this isn't a petty post either, is genuinely fearful for myself and others she's abused in the past and will continue to do so and it's about time we all came out about this because it's gone on way too long and i blame myself more than anything for holding back. i just felt unsafe and i do more so now but it's worth other people's safety. and everybody knows i'm definitely not one to do something like this and i've had such a hard time coming out about this from guilt. i want to make this short and to the point. i don't wanna take up too much time because we could go off for hours about all of her drastic lies like how she supposedly got hypothermia in 45 degree weather or how she lied about being in a s.chool s.hooting ( one , two , three ) ironically she had sent me a fanfiction of the c.olumbine s.hooters in the past and guilt tripped me the moment i said it wasn't right. or the time she told me she was taken hostage which i might have stayed believing if it weren't for the fact she was roleplaying with a character from that movie on her @lleeta blog not too long ago ( one , two , three ) but anyway.

im never gonna be able to recover completely but i want to reach out and warn people. me and others have gone through her explicit / obsessive / rape roleplays but i can fucking guarantee no matter how many times i was ( or the others ) guilt tripped into saying YES despite how uncomfortable i was but couldn't tell her , she does still do them from what i know. she tends to warp characters ( other muns put in these scenarios have told me the same thing bc she did it to multiple people ) to make them far more obsessive / creepy then they are even meant to be. i'll start out by saying ive known rocco since the end of 2015 or so and we instantly became friends. we quickly made our ocs out to be affiliated, though they were SUPPOSED to be father and daughter (and often i would let her portray an oc i of mine who is supposed to be a love interest), she would always propose obsessive rape plots, and even an explicit plot of a forced marriage au between the father and daughter muses which was clear she wanted to lead to smut (warning for a graphic detail i can't get out of my fucking head was her saying she could imagine hannah / the daughter on her knees being forced to unbuckle his belt but said it as if it were almost ? something she got ? in a way , excited over ??) of course i don't have many screenshots of these things especially because i was isolated by her for about a year at the time , trusted her , and no matter how sick or anxious ive felt getting her messages i didn't really know i had the choice to come out about it , especially considering how hostile she would be when i had friends or even my ex .

( one , two , three , four , five ) we were actually dating at this time, which was a relationship i was basically forced / guilt tripped in after saying no countless times. she would often numb me down when i would say no to things, whether it was her asking to be in a relationship with me or even roleplay, in which at one point i've counted 20+ screenshots of her constantly begging even though i had just declined. at this time is when i was isolated so i don't the have exact proof because again, i didn't know about the abuse going on in front of my face and i didn't known what to do about it. she would constantly guilt trip me over these things and i felt very vulnerable though i do tend to play things off when i'm uncomfortable.

now i'll move on to some more recent -ish shit or at least things i haven't completely blocked out from my memory since that's most of what i have. we've been friends on and off because she had eventually set me off, our first fight being me angry that she couldn't handle when i declined her roleplays. so it's been a long cycle of me blocking her from discomfort, only for her to constantly make or log into old blogs to try and contact me to manipulate me into friendship again. and it worked. too many times. after all of that, she began to test boundaries which is something she usually does. this included throwing attitude for no reason ( i remember a time i was supposed to be making her icons and couldn't at the time and her response was "it's not that fucking hard" // she's even sent me a screenshot herself before of her in a groupchat where one of the participants had said something and told them "literally nobody cares" and expected me to comfort her after that ) + saying things she knows is wrong + stealing or making blatant rip offs of my original character ( one , two , of course there are far more instances like the time she ran @viirginblood but that's not the point of this post so i'm skipping over that ) + bringing up my past relationships / sometimes family or financial issues + constantly bringing up the fact we got in fights i was trying to move past or try to make me feel bad if i didn't reply right away ( one , two , three , four , five / she also acted very controlling to me any time i wouldn't answer so i would be forced to give an explaination and she would pretend it wasn't just her being "worried" ) + manipulating her into following her / bossing me into doing things she wanted ( one , two ). even some new information came to light that i was completely oblivious to; obviously any time i had a friend or a significant other she had no problem portraying blatant jealousy, i was also informed she was acting possessive of me even when i wasn't around, when i was actually NOT TALKING TO HER AT ALL ( one , two ) . which really freaked me the fuck out.

she would also constantly TRY to spite me when we weren't friends. she's admitted it. she's also admitted in a group call, that i still have contact with one of the participants, that she stalked me when we stopped talking and got her friends to "keep tabs on me" i was also informed of her stalking another minor not too long ago and going back to the spite stealing, it wasn't just one oc, it was concept ideas, urls, even going as far to LITERALLY flat out steal the oc i let her portray ( the one she obsessively wrote out rape roleplays with ) , lied by saying it was a "misunderstanding".

shes also is a rapist and pedophile apologist ! she roleplayed dolores of l.olita and a few people including myself can recall her literally posting / asking for a humbert to roleplay with. i don't know a lot about the film / book itself but i DO know humbert is the pedophile who abused dolores. here's some screenshots of her not only apologizing his actions burn theowing a pity party over it, claiming shen had a right to roleplay dolores getting, what i imagine must have been sexually abused ( one , two , three ).

her relationship with her ex, ( for those of you who don't know ollie you can probably easily find some information on him as a fill in on what he's done / warning for rape ) ,   she helped him catfish / fake his identity to hide what he did, shows hostility toward the rape victim and shows behavior of a rapist apologist again + talked some nasty transphobic shit about me , not to mention again , i'm underage so that's weird that it's focused on my body especially considering she's 18 here, not to mention she's not still obsessing over me when we aren't talking ( one , two ) + on her @roccospeaks blog she had a while back , she deleted the posts but i'm sure plenty of people saw that she and others were claiming that ollie was FAKING A TRANS IDENTITY ( and this isn't a kiss ass moment to him, i'm just pointing this out: this was after she made those transphobic remarks about me so i highly doubt she can blame her transphobia on being "drunk" here ) because he was wearing makeup and had a feminine appearance . i'm pretty sure the post is still floating about somewhere so if you can find it, it's all there . she continued to focus on me despite we weren't talking, blamed me for being the source of her suicidal tendencies that she's had since i've known her, ironically though she's also told me i'm the reason she says alive in the past — and something she thinks blocking her for comfort is a manipulation tactic or game to her ?? / that and here's some of her guilt tripping all because i soft blocked her ( one , two , three )

i had also recently ended a relationship with an ex of mine , which wasn't ANY of her business but she constantly brought her up plenty of times. as shown above, she's was insisting that my vague posts about ending my relationship were about her no matter what i said ( one , two , three ) + doing so either herself or i suspect getting ollie or his friends to send me anons about MY relationship because i didn't tell anybody else about it, but she sure as hell did ! all while putting blame on me ( one , two )

here are some messages i have of someone informing me she was actually racefaking ! and the funny thing about this is she's white. or at least from what i know? i know she has indeed sent me a link to a post before of a black mun venting about white people or smth like that which was NONE of my fucking business esp considering i wasn't following this person and she told me after sending me the link to the post "i thought i could trust them" where she tried tin get me to comfort her ?? this is also interesting, here she is talking about a minor, THREATENING THAT SAME MINOR, not to mention dissing sex workers and putting an input on reverse racism.

heres more of her obsessive / controlling behaviors over not letting people follow / interact with me out of sheer spite and not wanting them to be able to know what she has done ( one , two , three , four , five , six , though there's many more i lost ) here's more evidence of her interest in writing problematic issues / warning for rape ( one , two ) i have many more screenshots of her situations with ollie but chose not to post them; however if you would like to see them you can ask me, it's just her encouraging him to hack me plus some gaslighting aftermath shen sent me on mun personal when things didn't go her way.

she has also lied about her age to smut multiple times in the past , claimed to be of age here and on multiple blogs. she was at least sixteen at the time. also mentions shes underage here but then says she could LEGALLY portray sexual assault ?? and here's her saying she WILL have depictions of pedophilia on her blog. keep in mind we've known each other for a long time, though it was on and off; she knows very well i'm not 18. if told her before countless times AND it's all over my rules. BUT YET, she's persistent on sending me explicit content KNOWING IM A MINOR / ADMITTING SHE IS 18 after i had vagued about my discomfort ( one , two , three )

as i mentioned above she was always presenting nasty plots to me; i can't stress the fact that it DID make me uncomfortable whether i decided to play it off or not, but later on, when she was indeed of age, presented to me an old, incestous plot and then had the audacity to put the blame on ME, whenever i strictly recall her wanting to ship them / make the more brothers in the first place. my character had already had a brother, her oc she actually made back in 2016 was a spiral off of this canon character. so even afternoon she blamed me for it, we established that i said no, she still chose to focus on his childhood with romance. ( one , two , three , four )

again, im not the only person she's has abused like this. and compared to the things she put ALL OF US through, these have to be some of the lightest fucking examples. but i do hope it is enough to keep others safe or be a warning. i also haven't mentioned anybody for their safety, but if you think you would be willing to share your story you can add on or whatever to get it out their. i really hope you can take my word for or it as well, because it wasn't very hard for me to put myself out here but i think i did the right thing for others.

and last but not least, if she's seeing this, here's a big fat "fuck you" from all us, what you put us through, and blamed us for.

[writing-in-the-tiny-house]

Plotting, but Upside Down

Become patron today! Visit patreon.com/writinginthetinyhouse

  Be sure to check out the podcast Writing Roots, found wherever you listen to your podcasts!

  The following is a transcription to this episode. The complete transcription is on the show’s website.

  Devin Davis: Do you have the most awesome character in all of fiction and you have wonderful plans for this character, but you just don't dare to put those plans into action? Well, I am here to tell you to dare to dream. Well, in ways. Today on Writing in the Tiny House.  Hello, hello, hello! And welcome back to the show. Welcome back to Writing in the Tiny House. I am your host Devin Davis, and we are here together for another wonderful episode of writing in the tiny house. I am the guy living in a tiny house in Northern Utah, who is here to show you how to fit in writing a book, even in the most busy of schedules. So that's what we're doing.

[00:01:09] That's what we do here. Sometimes we have interviews of professionals in the field. Sometimes we have me talking about different writing advice. Last week, we talked about plotting from the inside out, from finding an event that would happen in your plot and in your book and finding ways to entangle that with all of the different subplots and then working backward so that you can find out how everybody got there.

[00:01:41] This week, we are going to be talking about characters and the awesome things we want them to do. So this is still plotting. This is still doing the plot structure stuff. But I warn you: what I'm about to talk about can be dangerous. But first I want to do a quick shout out. You know, that in these episodes I sometimes have announcements.

[00:02:06]  One of the podcasts that I just stumbled upon is called Writing Roots by Aspen House Publishing. They release episodes twice a week and they are great. And I highly recommend that you guys search them out and have a good time with that. It's been fun exploring some of these other writing podcasts and just building a community like that.

[00:02:27] So that's it for announcements. Let's just get in to the nitty gritty of this. Let me first share with you the warning. Let me first set the stage. This stage is: you have this wonderful character, and because I am a fantasy genre author, we're going to keep things kind of fantasy.

[00:02:50] If you do any other type of fiction though, this totally applies. So with fantasy, anything can happen. There's magic. I appreciate a really good magic system. I appreciate believable characters. I appreciate human characters that I can relate too. So we have this character who is becoming more and more powerful in magic, and we imagine this wonderful big finale or this wonderful big spell or this wonderful big situation that this character really should be put into.

[00:03:31] If the character were in that situation, the entire plot would be more exciting. And that particular scene that you are imagining would be fun to write. It would be fun to envision. It is fun to daydream about.  If it were a movie, you know all of the camera angles, you know all of the pictures, you know all of the special effects that it would have.

[00:03:54] And so we get to ask ourselves, "How did we get our character to do that? How do we get our character to get there?"  We need to include these exciting moments because it's fun. And that's what makes some of this literature really fun is really big magic, really big high stakes things.

[00:04:18] We like the fights. We like the battles, at least in fantasy we usually do. And so it's important to include those things. However, when it comes to this specific character, doing this specific thing or developing in this specific way or having this or that specific backstory, it is important to step back and ask yourself why.

[00:04:49]And this is the reason why I say things like this. If you do not step back and ask yourself why it can lead to problems with your writing. It can lead to problems with your story. When you have a character who needs, in your opinion-- and  it truly is in your opinion, none of this is real. And so you are in charge of everything in this writing process. But if you have this woman who needs to learn a specific spell or needs to do a specific fight, then you need to find a believable way to get her there. It is important to write down the different things that you want this character to have, and that you want this character to do.

[00:05:42] It's important to write all those things down for all of the main characters. But, you need to cross reference all of that with the previous stuff that I said in the previous episode. You need to make sure that you're getting your character from this stage to this other stage in a believable way. It needs to be something that is organic.

[00:06:10] It needs to be something that is real. It needs to be something that we can believe. And so what the pitfall is, is plot devices. Sometimes plot armor. If you're familiar with that term, that is when the character doesn't die or doesn't really get hurt just because they are the main character.

[00:06:32] Not because they are otherwise special in any other way. But just because they're the main character we protect them, or  we have our main character or our main crew of characters, and we need to get them from here to there, but we have written them into this corner. And so how do we get them out of this corner?

[00:06:53] Well, the problem is the unbelievable solution or the convenient thing that comes by. I spoke about plot conveniences earlier when I spoke about Santa Claus showing up in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe in the Chronicles of Narnia and Santa Claus brought deadly weapons, which the children would be needing at the end of the book, and that is all very convenient. And this way of plotting can lead to these plot conveniences. However, I'm going to tell you that if your character absolutely needs to do a specific thing, what I invite you to do is write down what that specific thing is, and then sit on it for a while.

[00:07:42]Have it in the back of your mind. If everything in the story already makes sense and leads up to that, and this would be just a natural progression along the way, then absolutely stick it into your story. If not, pay attention to your gut feeling. If it ends up being extra or stupid, or unbelievable, or just too much, or it ends up affecting the pacing-- like things get really slow and boring now that we have this thing in there-- then I invite you to step back and to perhaps revisit it or to throw it away entirely. There have been many wonderful ideas that I have thought of in my own stories that simply did not survive just because there was no organic way to include them in the story.

[00:08:40] So in instances like this, sometimes sometimes, and I absolutely give you every excuse to do this if you feel you need to. Sometimes you simply must sit down and write it anyway, knowing that it is going to be modified later. And you could write thousands of words just because you need to write that. You need this particular scene or event to exist for you, for you as the storyteller. In writing that scene, it brings you a little bit closer to your character. It lets you get to know the character and the dynamics of the environment that they're in, the stakes that they have and many more things. But it is okay to then turn around and rip it out of your manuscript.

[00:09:36]If you are the type of person who has heart failure over deleting things in their manuscript, it's okay to cut them from the manuscript that you are working on and paste them into another file that you can title your graveyard and to have those ideas continue on in the graveyard for either further inspiration or just reminiscing about what might've been. When I wrote my first book As Magic Shifts, the prologue was the longest chapter in the entire book by far, and it was the prologue. And if you do any type of Googling or  just a quick search in YouTube, you can discover that prologues are kind of on the hot plate right now.

[00:10:34] They're kind of a debatable subject. Do you need a prologue? Do you not need a prologue? And there are a million different things to say about that subject. But in my book As Magic Shifts, when I wrote that 13 years ago, I simply needed to write this battle scene. And in the prologue, I wrote the battle scene from start to finish.

[00:11:00] It was the entire battle. And it had characters in it that had not been introduced in any other aspect. It had events in it that were confusing. It had multiple points of view. It was a mess. It was also 45 pages long. Which is too long for a prologue. You want your prologue to be shorter than the average length of your chapters.

[00:11:26] And so it was a problem and I sat back and I recognize that. And so what I did instead was after I wrote the entire prologue, I took just a single scene from it, the most important scene, and I made that become the prologue. And had I not done it that way, at least that's how it became for the second draft.

[00:11:52] Had I not done it that way-- had I not sat down and written out this entire battle-- I wouldn't have arrived at that scene that worked for the second draft. And that's okay. What I did later was I had a way to understand the characters backstory, and as a way to understand just some of the magic and some of the effects that were happening in a really negative way. I had flashbacks of sorts to that war, to that battle that happened years and years ago, as a way to explain to the reader and to actually some of the other characters, what was actually going on and why it was happening in this way. And so I never forgot that battle.

[00:12:45]Again, this is the thing. If you have main characters that you really, really, really want them to do specific things or act in a specific way, make sure you reference your overall story and pay attention to your gut. It has also been my experience that if I let things marinate for long enough, I will be able to come to a very logical conclusion about those things, whether or not to put them in the book. Or I can find the absolute perfect way to include them. And sometimes that takes time. Sometimes that just takes that patience, that ability to sit back and allow the forces at work to just kind of figure out this aspect of the story that you didn't understand before.

[00:13:45] For me, I daydream about my books all day, every day. And so sometimes I get fixated on the really exciting things on the good things that I find in the storyline. And because I'm the storyteller and because I'm the author, they all make perfect sense to me. And then sometimes when I draft, I don't see that they don't make sense yet, or that they need more or that it's too much, whatever.

[00:14:15]But in the times that I do see that this doesn't work right now, or that this character doesn't get to act in this way right now, or this event doesn't get to happen right now, but I still allow myself to daydream and I still allow myself to think about it, I have found that for the really important events in my entire overall story, even though some of the context might change, I have found there is always a creative and beautiful way to approach those events every time. And that moment is so exciting when, when I come to realize, oh, it gets to happen this way. So the event is still there! And I still get to be excited about what is about to happen and the magic and the action, and you know, what the characters are going to learn and grow from or whatever, if that's even in the scene.

[00:15:17] And even though the context may be different and sometimes the secondary characters might be different or the setting might be a little different. I have found that there are creative ways to find the  perfect place for those exciting moments. And for those important moments, sometimes it requires a bit of ju from your manuscript, but it can happen.

[00:15:42] Sometimes you get to be prepared to put them on the back burner so that you can give it more time to marinate and let your creative brain find the most perfect way to include that important scene. 

[00:15:58] So that is it for today. Thank you so much for joining me. And a special thanks to my patrons: without my patrons, this podcast would not be possible. If you are interested in joining the patron gang, go to patreon.com/writinginthetinyhouse. You would be getting early access to these episodes. You would be getting an additional episode every month and an opportunity to spend private time with me.

[00:16:24] So again, that is patreon.com/writinginthetinyhouse. Also be sure to follow me on Instagram. My handle is @authordevindavis and on Twitter my handle is @authordevind. Again, thank you so much for joining me today and have fun writing. We will see you next time.

Check out this episode!

[xx-multi-fandom-fics]

The Way You Look Tonight

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Song: The Way You Look Tonight

Originally by: Frank Sinatra

Covered by: Maroon 5

Word Count: 2,139

Warnings: Language

Created for: @bookshido‘s 700 follower writing challenge

Summary: You and your boyfriend, Steve, go to a ball to try and find intel on HYDRA.

Lyrics are in bold.

Reader’s Outfit:   https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=225600830

A.N.: I wrote this entire thing before I saw the first Captain America movie. I based all of this on what I thought of Steve from Captain America: Civil War. All I knew about Steve and Peggy was that they had a romantic relationship. I finally watched the first movie last night, and I was so surprised at how well this aligned with Steve and Peggy’s love story.

“We have received intel from an anonymous source that some members of HYDRA will be gathering at an event tonight,” Nick Fury announced.

You looked around the table at each of the Avengers that were present. Natasha looked intently towards Nick with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised, silently encouraging him to give more information. Bruce looked bored waiting to hear how this involved him or any of the Avengers for that matter. Clint stared at his fingers which rested on the large clear table in front of him. He probably was thinking about his wife and kids. Steve was sitting up straight on the edge of his chair. He wanted to put away anyone who had hurt his best friend, Bucky, when they had turned him into the Winter Soldier. His hands were in fists on the table, and his knuckles turning were white. However, everything about his face seemed calm, except for his eyes. They were darting back and forth as he stared at Nick clearly giving away, along with his hands, that he was ready to go fight any member of HYDRA at this moment.

“Great! An anonymous source! How reliable! Also, why is Thor not here, and Y/N is here instead?” Tony asked with great annoyance as he rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair.

“Wow, thanks,” you said glaring coldly at him. You knew he was just stressed, or maybe he didn’t get enough sleep last night. However, none of that got rid of the sting left from his comment.

“I invited her,” Steve snapped at Tony. He quickly turned his attention back to Nick.

“I have powers too! I can mess with time, which may end up being useful in a mission. Just because I’m not an Avenger, it doesn’t mean I can’t help,” you fired towards Tony.

“Thor isn’t here, because he had to deal with his brother, Loki,” Clint added trying to change the subject.

“I need two people to go check out this event and collect intel about HYDRA. Does anyone want to go?” Nick asked happy to change the subject, and get everyone’s focus back on the task at hand.

“I will,” you volunteered while glaring at Tony.

“I will too,” Steve quickly said as he raised his hand.

“Great! The event is tonight at 6:30. I’ll send you the address later. Also, wear something nice. You’re going to a ball.”

“A ball? Like a dance?” you asked.

“Yes. That’s all for now. I may call some of you back later on for other things,” Nick stated, ending the conversation. Everyone got up. Steve walked over to you, while smiling.

“Imagine that. I get to spend my night with the most amazing girl I’ve ever met, and I get a chance to get back at HYDRA. It’s going to be great. But a ball? That’s pretty old fashioned.”

“Well, so are you,” you joked playfully shoving him. When you saw his fake hurt expression, you began laughing.

Steve began smiling, “That laugh wrinkles your nose. It touches my foolish heart.”

“You’re so cheesy, which is one of the many reasons why I love you.” You kissed his cheek and you both continued talking hand in hand as you walked down the hallway.

Later on that night, you began getting ready for the dance. You had went shopping with Natasha earlier in the day and picked out a dress, since you didn’t usually wear anything that fancy. You both had agreed on a red dress with a deep v-neck for you. There was a slit up the side of the dress, which went pretty high. You had also gotten some gold heels and a handbag. You wore a gold arrow shaped bracelet, which your older sister had gotten you before you came to join Marvel.

“Are you sure this will work? Is it too provocative?” you asked suddenly nervous messing with the dress while standing in front of the full length mirror. Steve had never seen you wear anything this fancy, and you wanted to make sure you looked good.

“You look amazing!” Natasha marveled at you. “Steve will love it!” It was as if she had read your mind. “Besides red is a patriotic color.” She winked at you with a mischievous grin spread across her face.

“Why are you winking? We are going to be distracted the entire time trying to get information.”

“Well, you’re going to a ball. In order to fit in, you’re going to have to dance… to a slow song. That means you getting close to your boyfriend,” she teased.

“Ugh. Shut up!” you joked and threw a pillow from your bed at her. “I still have to do my make up and my hair. What time is it?”

Natasha looked down at her watch, “It’s 5:45.”

“Shit! I have to hurry up!”

Once you had finished with your hair and makeup, you looked towards the clock in your room. It was 6:15. Great! We’re going to be late. You threw your shoes on and started running as fast as you could in heels. Natasha came after you and handed you your handbag, which you had forgotten.

“Thanks!”

Once you had gotten to the staircase, you slowed down, and grabbed onto the handrail for support. You looked down at your feet trying not to trip or rip the dress by stepping on it. You didn’t realize Steve was waiting there until you heard him slightly gasp. You looked towards him, his jaw was slightly dropped, and his eyes were wide. You stopped dead in your tracks.

“What?” you questioned fretting his answer.

“It’s just the way you look tonight,” Steve said softly.

“Do I look bad?”

A wave of anxiety quickly hit you. You instantly felt warmer, especially in your cheeks. Your palms had begun to sweat. You wiped them nervously on your dress. Thoughts were racing in your mind, and not a single one was a good thought. You were fighting the urge to go run up the stairs and hide in your room.

“No. You look beautiful tonight!” Steve mused. 

The anxiety that was balled up in your stomach now melted away.  You could feel the relief flowing through you body, and you loudly exhaled, not realizing that you were holding you breath. You smiled widely at him.

“Not that you don’t always look beautiful,” Steve quickly said. He looked around, and you could tell he was flustered. “I mean --”

“You’re as smooth as crunchy peanut butter sometimes, I swear,” you joked while laughing. Steve began laughing as well, which made him seem a little less nervous. After you had finished walking down the staircase and had held Steve’s hand, he seemed to calm down. All of the other Avengers, even Tony although he was stressed, had come down to see how you guys looked.

“Ready?” Nick Fury asked.

“Of course. We’ll let you know if we hear anything important,” Steve responded.

“Don’t forget, in order to fit in, you need to dance, as well,” Natasha added once again winking at you.

“Thanks for that,” you said now blushing. You and Steve walked out the door. As you walked to the car, Steve stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face you.

“You know, you’re tearing my fear apart,” he said out of nowhere staring deeply into your E/C eyes.

“Your fear of what?”

“My fear of falling in love again. After Peggy died, I never thought that I’d feel loved again or be able to love anyone else again. But you, you bring a new type of love into my life. A love that I never even felt with her,” Steve explained. Tears welled in your eyes.

“That has to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me,” you whispered.

“I’m not afraid to say it, ‘cause I love you. There’s nothing for me, but to love you,” Steve pulled you towards him and kissed you passionately. He pulled away once he lifted his hand to your face and felt tears on your face. “Why are you crying?”

“Cause I love you too, you cheese ball,” you pulled him back towards you and gently kissed him. You gasped and pulled away from Steve quickly realizing the time. “Oh my god, we’re going to be so late!”

As you predicted, you were about 45 minutes late. As you entered, everyone stared at you, as the gigantic entrance doors had creaked loudly when you opened them. A man in a formal suit approached the two of you.

“Names?” he asked haughtily.

“Y/N L/N and Steve Rogers,” Steve responded.

“SHIELD didn’t give us undercover names?” you whispered making sure that the stranger didn’t hear you.

“No. They thought we’d be fine, since HYDRA isn’t expecting us.”

The man motioned towards the ballroom, signaling that you could enter.

“Before we go, we wanted to check to see if our friends have arrived yet,” you mentioned. “Their names are Dmitri Ivanov, Eduard Egorov, and Augustus Hahn.”

“I’m sorry, Miss, but none of those names are on the list.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

You and Steve walked into the huge ballroom. There were multiple gold chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The room was shaped like a rectangle. The walls were white with gold accents dripping down the walls. The wooden ballroom floor itself took up most of the room, and was covered as many people waltzed on top of it in fancy ballgowns and tuxedos. There was a little section of the floor that was covered by a different type of wood where singles stood trying to muster up the courage to ask someone to dance with them.

“Dumb anonymous tips. Do you still want to stay even though no one from HYDRA is here?” you asked.

“Of course. You look too beautiful tonight not to stay,” Steve muttered.

“Thank you,” you blushed for what felt like the millionth time that night. “By the way, you look really good too.”

He was wearing a black suit with a long red tie to match your dress. Natasha had gotten it for him to match your dress, while you two were out shopping earlier.

“There is one thing I have to admit,” Steve said nervously. “I don’t really know how to dance. I mean, I know a little bit, but I’m still pretty bad.”

“What? Really?” you questioned with a smile on your face. “I thought you’d be great at dancing. Especially since it was so popular in the 40’s.”

“I never really got the chance to dance all that much.”

“That’s okay, because I can’t dance either. So we’ll both look ridiculous together,” you laughed.

Steve led you to the dance floor. He pulled you close to him, and you two began to sway in time with the music, mimicking what the other couples were doing.

Later on in the night after dancing for a while and not saying much, Steve interrupted the comfortable silence.

“You’re so lovely with your smile so warm and your cheeks so soft. I never want this moment to end.”

“Me neither.”

In truth, your heels were digging into your feet causing blisters to form, and bobby pins were stabbing your head giving you a headache. But you didn’t care because the moment was perfect. You could feel the love radiating from Steve. You’d never felt more safe than you had in his arms while dancing tonight.

Once the ball ended, you both got in the car and went back to Stark Tower.

“So how was it?” Natasha asked with a mischievous tone in her voice as soon as she saw the two of you.

“More importantly,” Nick slightly glared at Natasha, “did you get any information?”

“No. The HYDRA members weren’t even there, but we had fun,” you said winking towards Natasha and squeezing Steve’s hand.

“What did I say about anonymous tips?” Tony yelled as he walked out of the room.

Everyone walked off to do their own thing. Most walked off to bed, as you two had stayed out late. You turned to go to bed, but Steve gently grabbed your arm. You spun back into his warm arms.

“Someday, when I’m awfully low, when the world is awfully cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you and the way you look tonight. I love you, Y/N. Never, ever change. Keep that breathless charm.” He raised your hand up to his lips and gently kissed the back of your hand.

“I love you too,” you said blushing. “Good night.”

You walked up the staircase carefully with a lovesick smile plastered on your face. You loved him and all of the cheesy little moments you two shared. This had been one of the best nights of your life.

Thank you so much for reading! Requests are open.

[tweenw]

Sunrise-(Stuart Twombly)

Characters: OC, Billy, Neha, Nick, Yo-Yo, Lyle, Graham, Stuart and (Y/N).

Warnings: none

Pairing: Stuart x Reader

Word Count: 3718

Summary: just a mini fic about the movie The Internship I wrote for fun :)(some of you guys also requested it, so here it is, Teen Wolf imagine should be up tomorrow) Guys wooo this is finally up, I didn’t know if I should post it since I’m writing a Stuart fanfic on Wattpad anyway, but here it is :)

I watch with a sinking feeling in my stomach as everyone around me parts ways and joins up to form small groups they’ll be working with for the rest of this internship. My friends also disperse, not even bothering to call me into their group. I frown a little. They probably brought me here just to make fun of my lack of social skills and see how badly I’ll fail. Well, this internship is going amazing so far.

I came here to get a new job, yes, but also to make some new friends. And so far I’m all alone. 

I look around the room and notice a boy with a blue beanie and thick-rimmed glasses sitting alone on his phone. A thought passes through my mind, maybe he doesn’t have a team either? There’s only one way to find out.

I stand up and smooth my skirt down, before picking up my backpack and walking to sit down next to him with a small smile. He looks up from his phone with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey, I’m (Y/N). You don’t have a team either, I take it?” I ask and offer another smile. He looks really cute, there are a few moles littering his pale face which make his look cuter and unique. He’s unlike the other stuck-up guys here. Like that guy Graham, who I swear has a stick up his ass. 

“I’m Stuart, and no, I don’t.” He nods a little before looking back down at his phone. I furrow my eyebrows a little at how disinterested he looks. He’s the type who would spend him last dying moments checking Instagram probably. 

Well, okay then. I take my own phone out and mimic his position, one leg crossed over at the ankle and one hand on my lap. I scroll through Tumblr and watch him out of the corner of my eyes. He doesn’t notice.

“Take it you’re a phone type of guy.” I say, sarcasm evident. He just grunts and doesn’t even look up. With a sigh, I give up on small talk and go back to my phone. If we miraculously end up on a team together, I swear I will annoy him as much as possible until he cracks and has a conversation with me that lasts longer that 5 seconds and involves actual words instead of grunts.

“Okay, you two, you two, and you two, come here.” A young guy with glasses exclaims and points to me and Stuart, as well as four other people. Two guys who look like they could be the CEO’s of this place and another girl with long brown hair who’s with a guy who has oddly shaped eyebrows. They look a little confused before coming to stand next to us. ‘

Stuart look up from his phone and gives me a questioning look. I just shrug and look up at the guy who called them over. 

“Okay, so my name’s Lyle, and I’ll be your mentor of sorts. Your leader, your boss, your ring leader, your inciter, your top dog, your-” Lyle starts to act all hip, his body swaying like Snoop Dogg’s when he’s had a few spliffs. He gets interrupted by the older blond guy who looks creeped out. 

“Alright Lil Wayne, we get it. I’m Nick, and this is my friend since the medieval ages, Billy.” He introduces his friend, and looks at the other girl to pick up where he left from. 

She looks around with a small smile. “I’m Neha and you’re really weird. Also are you guys related?” The girl looks at Lyle witch wide eyes before pointing at Stuart and I. We’re both sitting the exact same way. Literally. Stuart looks at me with a ‘really?’ look before shaking his head at her. 

I roll my eyes. “I’m (Y/N), and this is Stuart. He doesn’t talk much, often communicates with grunts and inaudible noises. I’m sure he’s smart when he decides to talk though.” I smile at the group. They nod and look at the other guy. He’s Chinese and just replies with ‘Yo-Yo’ before looking at the rest of us expectantly. Like we know what to do. 

“Okay, I’ll take you to your pod, your nest, your studio, where you’ll be working while you’re here in the whack-o house. So follow me.” Lyle sways his whole body again before walking down a couple of hallways. Stuart and I both exchange a weird look at how our ‘mentor’ is acting. He’s definitely weird, but I guess weird is good. It’s much better than having a boring and dis-interested ‘boss’. 

As Stuart stands up, I grab a hold his beanie and run past him as a chorus of protests follows me. I dodge a few people as I try put his beanie on and run into the pod Lyle pointed to at the same time. I barely dodge the clear glass door before I make it in and collapse on a beanbag in the corner, slightly out of breath. God help my poor physique. I need to hit the gym instead of Pizza Hut.

I watch with a small smile as the group comes into the pod with grins on their faces at how annoyed Stuart looks. Speaking of him, he walks in next, a small pout in place. It’s quite adorable, actually. He looks like a child who got his ball taken from him. In this case, a child who got his phone taken away.

I pout back extra hard, and for a second I think he’s going to storm over and take his beanie back with a few of my hairs he might pull out in the process. But no, he just ruffles his hair and sits down in the beanbag next to me with an eye-roll and a huff, looking at his phone once again. 

A small smile of victory appears as I look at Stuart. Maybe we’ll end up being friends after all. 

“Watch out!” Stuart yells as I bump into him with my hot chocolate. Some of it spills onto his button-up and if looks could kill, I would have been gone the first day of this internship. 

I look at him apologetically and set my hot chocolate down before beginning to wipe his shirt down with the napkins I have with me. My hands shake a little, probably from the lack of sleep and amounts of stress this internship has brought along. I sigh in frustration and keep rubbing the stains in his shirt vigorously until I hear him hiss in pain and step back from me. 

I look up at him with wide eyes, realizing that I had probably hurt him. Oh god that was the least of my intentions. I back away a little and shake my head. “I’m so sorry.” I mumble before taking off in the opposite direction of the confused Stuart. 

The past few weeks have been so hectic and nerve-wrecking and just full of pent up emotion. We’ve had our asses handed to us by Graham’s team on multiple occasions, there’s been a lot of arguing between our group lately, and I’ve gotten a crush on the emotionally incompetent Stuart Twombly. So my emotional ass has had just about enough. 

I walk into our little pod and plop in the corner beanbag. It’s sort of became my beanbag since we came here. Luckily, the pod is empty so I don’t have to deal with questions on why I look like I’ve been run over by a bus. Truth be told, I stopped trying to look impressive and wearing dresses with heels to look presentable about a week into the internship. It was too tiring.

I rest my head against the glass wall and take in a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I mentally count to 10, before opening my eyes. I need to stop acting like I’m an 80 year old who’s tired of everything.

My eyes wander to the door of the pod where Stuart is leaning against the door frame with a slight frown. 

I offer him a light smile in attempts to ward him off. If he thinks I’m calm now he’ll leave me alone. Plus, he’s not good at dealing with people, only shutting them out from what I’ve found out.

Though as he makes his way into the pod and squats in front of me, my hopes vanish. He looks at me with a slight frown, before removing his blue beanie and putting it on my head. Once he adjusts it, he smiles slightly at his work. 

“Billy and Nick arranged a little outing tonight, and they told me to tell you the details” He smiles a little and sits cross-legged in front of me. I look at him curiously. He doesn’t seem bothered about the hot chocolate stains, or me running off, or us alone right now. He looks more relaxed than I’d ever seen him before. That sight alone relaxes me a little.

“I bet you by the end of their ‘outing’ Yo-Yo will have only 1 eyebrow left.” I chuckle a little and shake my head. The poor boy must have went through some seriously tough punishments incorporated by his strict mother. 

Stuart chuckles and nods. “Probably, yeah. Anyway, it’s just getting together for some food and maybe exploring the town. We’re all meeting here at 6.” He smiles, before standing up and offering his hand to help me up. I blush a little and take it. 

“Thanks for the beanie, and also I am extremely sorry for that shirt.” I smile sheepishly at him. That may or may not have been my brightest moment. But that’s what you get when you have slides at the workplace and people come at you out of nowhere.

“It’s okay, though let’s not make it a habit. But you could do with some relaxation.” He jokes, before rubbing the back of his head and walking out of the pod. A huge smile appears on my face.

When Nick and Billy said they wanted to have a little ‘outing’, I was expecting a buffet and maybe a cinema trip. But now that I’m surrounded by half-naked women and lap-dances, I don’t know why I’m not surprised. It’s Billy and Nick after all.

Our little group sits in the corner booth, shots covering the entire table. Yo-Yo’s probably seeing triple by now, poor guy. But it’s not like we pressured him into downing like 8 shots in a row, one after the other. It’s really a miracle that he’s not projectile vomiting yet. 

I myself have had quite a few shots of god knows what, but only enough to give me a buzz and make me all giddy and jumpy. That’s the type of drunk that’s the best.

“I’m going into that water tank!” I yell over at the group before grabbing Neha’s hands and dragging her with me. We both laugh at the absurd idea, but still go up to the girl in the tank and ask if she can let us in. For a second I think we’ll get rejected, but she just smiles at us before dragging us in and closing the door so no water gets out. 

I’m glad that the water is warm and not cold, because that would have made me regret my decision. Neha starts dancing like there’s no tomorrow, grinding on the glass and floor and anything she can get her hands on, including me. Okay, so maybe she’s had slightly more to drink than I did.

We both copy some of the moves the strippers are doing, and I’m surprised neither of us fall down. But I’m having fun, which is the most important thing. 

I take off my flannel which leaves me in a tank top and begin to sway my hips ‘Gimme Gimme’ by Britney. I flip my hair all over the place and for a second I truly feel like a stripper. I let that thought slide and grind against the girl who’s name I learned is Crystal.

Stuart’ P.O.V

(Y/N). The girl with a strange addiction to garlic bread and a smile which could melt Putin’s heart. (Y/N), the girl who looks more like a stripper in that water tank than the actual stripper. I can’t help but look over at her, the way her body’s moving is downright sinful. 

“The world looks much better 3 inches up, doesn’t it?” Nick slides next to me and points to (Y/N) and Neha who are grinding against each other.

I look at Nick with wide eyes, a feeling of dread seeping through me as I’ve been caught checking out the one girl who’s had my attention since the very first day. 

“I guess.” I mumble in response and take another shot from the table, mainly to give me courage to go and speak to her. Again, it doesn’t particularly work. 

Nick sighs and shakes his head at me. “Listen Stuart, you’ve had your eyes on her since she stole your beanie at the start of this internship. You stalk her on exchangeagram and that Thumble thing when the real thing is right in front of you.” I look over at her, now completely soaking wet, but smiling and having fun nonetheless. 

In a way, Nick is right, though I hate to admit it. Why am I wasting my time looking at her photos when she’s just across the room? Nick does have more experience though. So maybe listening to him for once won’t be a total waste of my attention. 

“You’re right. What can go wrong?.” I huff and stand up, sliding my phone into my pocket. The alcohol buzzes through me and for a second, everything goes black.

The sun is rising, and the view at the Golden Gate Bridge is simply magnificent. Just like the view of Stuart passed out on the bench next to me. 

When everyone was too busy fighting with a bunch of frat boys, I was putting my muscles to good use and carrying a passed-out Stuart out of the mess. But now that we’re all out here, safe and sound, I’m enjoying the moment. Thank god I’ve partially dried off and sobered up though. 

The boy next to stirs, groans and slowly sits up with agony written all over his face. Poor guy will have the worst hangover, right after Yo-Yo and Lyle who are still wasted.

“Morning sleeping beauty.” I chuckle as he sits up, head in his hands. There’s a chorus of groans before he sits up properly and looks around. He seems sobered up enough, which isn’t the case for Yo-Yo or Lyle. 

“I feel like shit.” He croaks and stands up to stretch. The corners of his shirt rise to reveal his happy trail, and I swear a part of me dies off right then and there. 

I look away to hide the blush, whilst Nick pulls Stuart away to probably fill him in on the events of the night. 

Looking over at Stuart, the way his glasses sit atop his cute nose, the way his fingers always hook into his belt hoops when he’s talking to someone and doesn’t have his phone on him, and the way he absentmindedly licks his lips cause a dull ache in my chest. God fucking damn it (Y/N) get a grip.

Instead of checking out my fellow intern, I turn to see Billy and Neha in a deep conversation. I won’t bother them, they look like they’re in a little ‘zone’. On the next bench over, Yo-Yo is laying face down and groaning in pain as the alcohol takes it’s toll on him. And I don’t bother looking for Lyle, he’s in the bushes somewhere. 

After a few minutes of blissful silence on my part, just staring at the beautiful sunrise, Stuart comes to sit next to me. He looks happy, almost.

“Tonight was fun, I mean you looked like you were having fun. I just wish I stopped after the 6th shot.” Stuart chuckles as he looks over at the sunrise. There’s something different about him. He doesn’t give off the vibe Stuart from 24 hours ago did. He’s not restrained, he’s free-spirited. I like it.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure Bonnie and Clyde over there will take us there again.” I smile as Stuart lets out a whole-hearted heart laugh. He shakes his head a little before looking at me with a small smile. A really cute smile, might I add. 

“You were good in the tank by the way, very good. Almost thought you were one of the girls.” Stuart grins a lopsided grin which makes me feel so many goddamn ways. I widen my eyes at him.

“I don’t know whether to be flattered or offended.” I place my hand over my chest and pretend to be offended by what he said. In reality though, I’m incredibly proud of my drunk self, and extremely proud that I was good enough to bring Stuart out of his phone bubble. 

His eyes widen like mines before he starts stuttering trying to explain it was just a compliment. This causes Nick and Billy both to laugh at how adorably flustered Stuart is. 

“It’s fine, I totally get it. What can I say, it’s a natural talent.” I giggle as Stuart takes a deep breath to recover from his stuttering rant. He’s totally flushed and looks like a tomato. I’m enjoying this.

Billy walks over to us two, phone out and a huge smile on his lips. He looks a little tipsy himself, but that’s to be expected. He did drink enough to put us all into shame. 

“Hey kids look at these.” Billy laughs and pushes us apart so he can sit in the middle and show us some photos on his phone. 

The first one is of me, Stuart and Neha posing with quidditch sticks. This was the day we all learned how addicted to 80′s references Billy and Nick are. It was also the day I hit Graham in the head with the ball. It was a good day.

 The second photo is of Yo-Yo and Billy sitting next to each other, both receiving lap-dances and high-fiving. 

“Oops.” Billy mutters before skipping over that one and onto the next one. 

That one is a close-up of me and Neha in the water tank with the stripper between the two of us. I laugh a little at that one, because a few seconds after this photo was taken, Neha slipped and fell into the big puddle. 

The next photo is of Stuart and I sitting next to each other on the bean bags on the very first day. Stuart’s looking over at me with a small smile and I’m looking over at Lyle. I remember that he was doing a really bad impression of 50 Cent and it was very disturbing. But I look at Stuart in that photo, the way he’s looking at me like I’m a bed after an extremely long day or something. A small smile comes to my face, and when Billy sees it, he immediately ups and leaves. 

Nick gives Stuart a thumbs up from what I can see, and it clicks. Billy wanted me to see it. Billy wanted me to see the way Stuart was looking at me.

“You know, I’ve never actually asked you this, but does your boyfriend not mind you being away for so long?” Stuart asks, moving closer so we’re in the same position we were before Billy came over. I fight the smile trying to break out at his bad technique of trying to find out if I’m single or not. But I play along anyway.

“Nope, I don’t have one sadly.” I pout a little to add to the effect. A small shiver passes through me as a gust of wind appears out of nowhere. My slightly damp hair doesn’t appreciate this. 

Stuart begins to take his button-up off so he’s left with his shirt and drapes it over my shoulders. I shyly smile at him, slowly dying inside. The flannel smells really nice, but also kind of like alcohol. I don’t mind though. It’s providing warmth.

I bite my lip in contemplation, before shuffling closer to him and setting my head on his shoulder. My heart’s strangely calm, like it’s content with the action I made. I am too. 

Stuart wraps his arm around my shoulders and rests his head on top of mine. I smile contently, like my soul has finally reached the rest it’s been looking for. Like everything in my life has fallen into place finally.

“Exchangeagram moment!” Billy yells out before running up to us, snapping a quick picture of us 3 and then running off again like a little child. The two of us look at each other and laugh at Billy and his idea of ‘exchangeagram”. He’s like a little kid on Christmas. I hate to break it to him, but ‘echangeagram’ will never exist.

Stuart furrows his brows for a second before reaching out and moving some hair behind my ear, and then takes a hold of my chin. He leans over to place a small kiss on my lips. At the exact moment our lips touch, a surge of happiness flows through me. I smile into the kiss and pull him a little closer by his shirt. His lips feel so soft against mine, and they taste like alcohol and mints. It’s a strange combination but I like it. I have to say, never in my dreams did I think that this would actually happen.

We pull apart and I laugh a little at how surreal that felt. It’s like all of my feelings since day 1 have surfaced and are out in the open now. Shit, they are.

“Is it bad that since the moment you took my beanie, I wanted this to happen?” He laughs a little, pulling me into the previous position we were in. A smile comes to my face when he says that. That’s what I wanted to hear.

I look up at him, place a small kiss on his cheeks and shake my head ‘no’. No, that is the opposite of a problem. 

Billy, Nick and Neha all cheer and clap their hands at us. I enjoy it. I enjoy their company, their words of encouragement, but most of all I enjoy the feeling of Stuart’s lips on mine.

[senatorrorgana]

A Sky Full Of Stardust - One

Summary: Jyn Erso is Hollywood royalty, both of her parents being more than successful in the business and Jyn following in their footsteps; Cassian is an up and coming actor who just got the role of a lifetime starring opposite of Jyn Erso in a new movie. There's an almost instant and undeniable connection between the two that feels a whole lot like love, thought they would never admit it. Life in the limelight, however, comes with it's fair share of consequences; such as people wanting to tear your life apart and causing you to question how you could even trust someone with your heart. Despite being put through the grinder that tears Cassian and Jyn ultimately apart - they can't deny they still have feelings for one another, and having to dance around that while promoting a movie together is more than difficult...especially when said movie is getting a sequel.

A/N: I have zero self control, none whatsoever. I literally was just looking at pics of Felicity Jones from the Oscars last night and came up with wanting to write another celebrity au, and here we are already. This is probably going to be a long one, I'm actually trying to plan it out since I know where I want to take this fic now, and it's going to be a long one, I might even focus on this one mostly for a bit so I can get through it and actually finish it, but I'll still be working on other chapters for my other fics of course. We'll see how it goes! Anyway, I hope you guys like this first chapter, I fully blame @wynonasrider for encouraging me to write this after my brain got the spark of the idea. Either way, enjoy! <3

Pairing: Rebelcaptain

Rating: M

Words: 2,044

AO3: (x)

Cassian still wasn’t sure that he was supposed to be here, it felt almost like an intrusion upon something that he should have had nothing to do with.

He was in a foreign country, having never traveled to the UK up until now, with no one or anything familiar around him, on a studio lot that was bigger than something he’d ever seen before. He felt like a trespasser, he wasn’t exactly used to being on sets and lots like these, he’d only been in the business for about two years and had stayed mostly in Mexico up until now. Somehow he’d got the part in this giant film, he wasn’t exactly sure how or why he’d gotten it over all the others he knew auditioned for it, but he did, and he was playing opposite of arguably one of the most renowned actresses of his generation - Jyn Erso - which didn’t help calming his nerves any. Cassian had met her before, back during the auditions months ago when he was chemistry tested with her, he was so nervous he wasn’t sure he’d be able to do it, but something about just falling into the moment with her had made things turn out the way he did, though he hadn’t seen her since.

Jyn Erso was practically royalty among the world they lived in; her mother having been a multiple Academy Award winning actress before her untimely passing, and her father winning his fair share of Academy Awards for acting as well before he started winning Academy Awards for the movies he directed and wrote. They had cast a large shadow for their only child, and Jyn managed to live up to it with a sort of grace that wasn’t seen very often; acting since she was just a child and winning two Academy Awards already at just the tender age of twenty. There were multiple other actors with far more experience and probably knowledge than Cassian could ever hope to have, but somehow things had clicked between him and Jyn, and now he was here, early and walking around the set just to take it all in, his first scene later today being with Jyn herself.

The directors, Baze Malbus and Chirrut Îmwe, a couple who had been making movies together for years, were doing a walk around of the set, making sure everything was where is was supposed to be - or rather Baze was describing how everything looked to his blind partner Chirrut. A scrawny looking young man who just so happened to also be the scriptwriter, Bodhi Rook, was following them around as well; it almost made Cassian feel better knowing that there was someone there just as inexperienced as he was in this fast paced world on the set.

“It’s pretty amazing, don’t you think?” A voice came up from behind Cassian, startling him slightly before he turned around and realized who it was - Jyn.

It seemed almost impossible for someone like her to be able to just sneak around, Cassian imagined that when she entered a room it’d be something to be announced, that the whole room would stop and stare for a moment and get slightly hypnotized by her bright green eyes that Cassian really needed to stop thinking about. She had a faint smile playing on her lips, another thing Cassian really needed to stop thinking about, and even with no makeup on, walking around the set in an oversized sweater and sweatpants with her hair pulled up, there was still a certain grace about her that he couldn’t really describe.

“Yeah, uh, it’s amazing...what they can build so, uh, quickly.” Cassian stumbled over his words, almost wincing at how idiotic he must have sounded to her in that moment. “Uhm, I’m Cassian.” He offered out his hand, introducing himself, doubting she remembered when they first met five months ago.

“I remember.” Her grin was broader now, some hint of a sparkle in her eyes while she shook his hand, more than likely pitying him for being so awkward and slightly pathetic, a hell of an impression to leave her with before they started working together and having to play people who fall in love in the midst of war in space. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Cassian was sure he was flushed, he could feel the embarrassment bubbling up in him under her gaze; he really needed to pull himself together before they started filming later.

“You excited to start filming later?” Jyn asked curiously.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Cassian answered quickly, trying to avoid stumbling over his words again.

“Great, well, if you want to run over some lines before that together I’ll be in my trailer.” Jyn replied and started to turn to leave before stopping in her tracks and turning to him again. “Oh, and by the way Cassian, take a few deep breaths, it’s fine, I’m not going to bite.” She laughed a bit, her hand on his arm briefly before she let go. “You got the job because you’re talented, relax a little, it’ll pay off later when we’re filming.”

“Right, yeah, relax.” Cassian nodded, definitely not yet relaxed causing Jyn to laugh again, not at him, just at the moment.

“You’ll do great, I know it.” She assured him before walking off and out the studio doors.

Cassian hadn’t even realized he’d been staring at the door she walked out of for a couple of minutes until someone called his name to go get him into wardrobe.

Jyn was used to always being on the move, though filming in London always brought her joy since she got to stay at home in her flat instead of always being somewhere that she would have to make feel like home. Usually she’d also get to see her father, but he was just as busy as she was, and this month he was off in Australia, though that never deterred him from checking in on her constantly, as he always had.

“There’s supposed to be snow this weekend for you, make sure to keep warm.” Galen had told her over their FaceTime chat they’d arranged, her father on set himself with the bright sun shining down on him and wearing that ridiculous straw hat Jyn had gotten him when she was ten.

“Papa, I’ve lived here my entire life, I know what to do when it snows.” Jyn laughed, sitting in her trailer and wrapped up in the blanket her father had gotten her when he was working in France three years ago.

“It’s my job to worry about you, Stardust.” He assured her with a smile on his face.

“I know papa, and it’s my job to worry about you too, are you even wearing sunscreen right now?” Jyn asked, she’d taken on the role of worrying about her papa after her mother had passed - someone needed to look after him and make sure he took care of himself.

There was a brief moment of silence before Galen finally answered. “I’ll go put it on now.” He mumbled.

“You better, you’ll be paying for it tonight if you don’t.” Jyn warned him, remembering the time he’d gotten horribly sunburned on their family vacation to Hawaii on the first day and was miserable the rest of the time there.

A knock on her trailer's door was enough to pull her away from the conversation for a moment, and more than enough to capture her papa’s full attention.  

“Getting ready to go to set?” He asked curiously.

“No, it’s still too early, it’s probably Cassian coming over to run lines, I better go papa.” Jyn replied.

“Cassian? Who’s that?” Galen asked, Jyn almost forgot that she never really mentioned him much, she felt like she had since they were tested together, but it might have been just her thinking about him more than actually talking about him.

“He’s my co-star, we’re playing opposite each other, he seemed a bit nervous so I invited him over to run lines. I should go let him in, I’ll talk to you later, I love you papa.” Jyn quickly explained.

“Love you too, Stardust.” Galen replied before Jyn ended the call, closing up her laptop before rushing over to the door.

Sure enough, when Jyn pulled open the door, Cassian was standing there, that nervous look still on his face as he clutched ahold of the script in his hands as if it he were afraid to lose it.

“Hey, sorry, I was talking to my papa.” Jyn explained.

“Oh, I can come back-”

“No, it’s fine, we hung up.” She assured him with a smile, stepping aside to allow him in. “Come on in, it’s warmer in here than it is out there.”

Cassian slowly walked inside, looking around after he entered, sort of reminding her of the cat she had when she was growing up that was always nervous when entering a room. Once Jyn closed the trailer door, he seemed a bit more comfortable with his surroundings, though not by much - she was hoping that going over the lines would help him relax a bit.

“So, uh, where do you want to start?” Cassian asked, standing still and seemingly afraid to sit down anywhere.

“We’ll start with the scene right before what we’re filming, might help us ease into it better.” Jyn suggested. “You can sit down if you want.”

“Right.” Cassian mumbled with a slight nod, sitting down on the sofa, still looking horribly stiff.

“You still nervous?” Jyn asked with a slight grin.

“Is it that obvious?” Cassian asked a bit hopelessly, his shoulders slouching slightly.

“A little.” Jyn admitted.

“Sorry, I just...it’s...it’s a lot to take in.” Cassian admitted.

“I know, I’ve been there.” Jyn sighed, taking a seat beside him and almost grateful that he didn’t tense up again at her presence. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, you’re incredibly talented, I saw your other films and you were great, just...pretend you’re at home, that’s what I do sometimes, makes me feel more comfortable.”

“You watched my other films?” Cassian asked curiously, studying her face almost as if he were searching for a lie.

“Yeah, after we auditioned together I sort of went ahead and had a movie marathon of them.” Jyn shrugged, slightly embarrassed that she was admitting this, he deserved the praise more than anyone else she ever had to play opposite of, but why did he have to be so attractive and make her feel like a damned teenager again with a crush? “You’re talented, you just need to relax.”

“...Okay.” Cassian nodded. “Okay.”

“You sure?” Jyn asked.

“Yeah.” He assured her, offering up a slight smile, she couldn’t help but smile back.

“Alright, let me go get my script and we’ll start.” Jyn grinned.

It must have been around two in the morning, Cassian felt tired enough for it to be two in the morning by the time they had wrapped on the set for the day and he’d gotten out of his wardrobe, more than ready to go to his new flat and go straight to sleep. He managed to get through the scene fairly well, he wasn’t quite as nervous in front of the camera, and rehearsing with Jyn had certainly helped ease his mind.

“Hey!” He heard Jyn’s voice call out to him, Cassian stopping in his tracks and turning to see her running up to him, her cheeks slightly flushed from the running once she got up to him, Cassian finding it strangely adorable when she looked up at him with a grin. “You were great out there today.”

“Thanks, you were amazing.” Cassian complemented her.

“It only works if you have a good partner out there with you.” Jyn assured him. “You need a ride? I know this city like the back of my hand.”

“Oh, uh, sure, thanks.” Cassian stuttered, cursing himself for it mentally. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” Jyn replied. “I’ll have to show you around the city when we get a free day.”

Cassian couldn’t help the feeling of his heart fluttering a bit at the thought of it; he really needed to pull himself together around her before he did something incredibly embarrassing.

[spiritinabody]

*pictured: me, August 2011* Trigger warning: suicide, sexual assault, sex, vulgar language, alcohol

I was sixteen years old. I remember because it was when Taylor Swift’s “Fifteen” was popular enough to be playing on the radio constantly. I have a memory of being in the car with both Nate (names changed to conceal their identities) and his mom, who was driving. She laughed at the irony of the song, since he was fifteen, a freshman in high school. “And then you’re on your very first date and he’s got a car, and you feel like you’re flying”. When his mom wasn’t driving us somewhere, I actually drove Nate around a lot. Picked him up. Took him to parties. Looking back, I’m sure it wasn’t a bad deal on his end.

As a sophomore in high school, I still was not far from the beginning of my existence as a sexual being. I shared my virginity with a boy during the summer between 8th and 9th grade. While that relationship had its own set of problematic experiences, we are on good terms now and have found ways to connect. After that relationship, it seemed like I bounced between guys, looking for someone to fill the kind of void that I felt being single. Part of it was an obsession with feeling powerful, knowing that I had what it was that guys were looking for. Compared to a lot of my schoolmates, I was more experienced, and willing to do more. For a lot of my life I felt unattractive, but having sex helped me feel both powerful and either beautiful, or at least that my looks didn’t matter. I did not have the capability to look deeper into what, or who, I was doing. Due to my experience and age, a lot of the guys I ended up being with were virgins themselves. Despite probably not being very good at what I was doing at the time, it felt good to “take” someone’s virginity.

Several short-lived, meaningless relationships brought me to February 2010. I don’t remember now how I actually met Nate, but we started dating shortly after meeting. Our relationship consisted of hanging out with his friends who were all guys that called me “Nate’s Girlfriend”, having sex while watching Disney movies at my parent’s house, playing with his dog, listening to music, sneaking out to see each other, going to parties, and fighting over shit that high schoolers fight over. Typical high school relationship. We broke up 2-3 times between February and August of that year. I specifically remember the last time we broke up being right around my seventeenth birthday due to a picture that exists of me holding my cake, with him standing in the background.

Despite the fact that I was the one who initiated the break up, I still have my journal from this time period. July 11th, 2010. “I’m dating an almost Sophomore, Nate. We’ve been dating over 5 months. It’s crazy… I love him so much.” The next four pages, un-dated, list bullet points of “Things I Remember About Us… So We Don’t Forget”. October 15th, 2010 is addressed to Nate, stating “I heard you speak for the first time in over two months a couple days ago. You finally hit puberty… And I missed it.” I continued to write about how I still think about Nate constantly, how I wished I could go back in time and “do everything right”, and how I basically attempted to stalk Nate at school just to see him or hear his voice. The next day, October 16th, 2010 I wrote about driving by his house and looking for him to come in while at work (I worked at Subway at the time). I ended it with saying that I would do anything for Nate, including kill myself if that is what he wanted.

The craziest part of this is not how madly in love I thought I was. The craziest part, to me, is that I thought I was madly in love with him months after he sexually coerced me multiple times throughout our relationship.

Sexual coercion, according to the website Love is Respect is “the act of using pressure, alcohol or drugs, or force to have sexual contact with someone against his or her will” and includes “persistent attempts to have sexual contact with someone who has already refused.”

You might be thinking that because I thought I loved him, and because I had said that I would do anything for him, that it wasn’t coercion and that I just changed my mind after we broke up. Not only is this the phenomena known as “victim blaming”, but it’s also false. This was something I recognized during our relationship and although I did think I loved him and wanted to do anything I could to make him happy, it was at my own personal cost. It was not something that I wanted.

At the time, I knew it was uncomfortable. I knew it was frustrating, trying to tell someone no, making up excuses, trying to find ways to divert their attention, just to have it end up happening anyways. I knew all of these things, but it wasn’t until years later, that I actually saw this for what it was -- sexual coercion. Due to being young, and not having a lot of experience, and never really having a conversation about sex let alone consensual sex with my parents, I thought this was normal. Really, I thought there was something wrong with me for ever not wanting to have sex. Nate was attractive, I thought I loved him at the time, but there were times where I just did not want to. What was wrong with me? How was I going to sabotage this “perfect” relationship just because of something minor? It took me I don’t know how long of experiencing this to tell him, finally, how much it upset me and that if he didn’t respect my right to say “no” again, that I was going to break up with him. You can guess what happened.

Now, as a semi-functioning adult, I can look back on experiences like this and really see them for what they are. I’m sure, as Nate was a virgin before we were together, he was just starting to learn what his sexuality meant to him as well. And because of his life and his experiences, thought it was normal and okay to continue to badger your partner into having sex after they’ve already said no. That’s the whole point of dating someone, right? To have sex whenever you want? This is what we, especially boys, are taught that relationships are supposed to be. You may have to struggle and argue and deal with “emotions”, but it’s all to make up and enjoy sex again. At this time, I wasn’t enjoying it. I was enduring it. Although Nate did sexually assault and coerce me, and we have our personality differences, I want you all to know that I do forgive him.

In November of this same year, 2010, I started dating Marty. He was older, not by a lot, but enough to shock even me, who was used to dating younger guys. Despite this fact, he too was a virgin when I met him. Due to a combination of my reputation and his own self doubt, Marty was already distrustful from the beginning. I think part of him didn’t want to look stupid, and the other part of him couldn’t believe that a girl like me (this was probably the peak of my attractiveness during my life -- I can say that being 23 at this point) was actually interested in him. He was extremely insecure about his image and his weight. I can tell you that none of that ever mattered to me, mostly because I still felt like the ugly little duckling I thought I was growing up. Inside, that’s how I still felt.

Dating off and on for a total of about 3 years, there were plenty of things that went on in our relationship that I could write an entire separate blog on. Maybe someday I will. But this part isn’t about Marty -- it’s actually about Wyatt.

I have known Wyatt since middle school when he was in a class of mine, and then I became good friends with his twin sister. We had a brief middle school-esque thing in 8th grade and then went our separate ways for a time. The guy who ended up being my first and Wyatt were really good friends at the time. Somehow we ended up “talking” (oh Lord do I hate that term) again during the summer, before Marty and I got together. We again went our separate ways, for whatever reason you could imagine.

The moral of this seemingly pointless background story is that Wyatt and I had some history. I knew his family, I was at one time a good friend of his sister, his mom loved me, and I spent a decent amount of time at his house in high school. In our Junior year of high school, his mom’s new house became the “party house” for our group of friends. It was a newly built house, huge, with a decent-sized basement that his mom never bothered to come down to. That was where I got drunk for the first time. It was where Marty pissed on the floor after a party. It was also where I was sexually assaulted.

Fast forward to June of 2011. The summer between my junior and senior years of high school. Do I remember what was really going through my head? No. I have no fucking clue. I wish seventeen-year-old me had the sense to write some of THAT shit in my diary, but no. For whatever reason, Wyatt and I started talking again. I remember one day I came over to get a Gameboy game of his because playing Pokemon on the old fashioned Gameboy was making a comeback. We talked, hung out. I liked talking to him because he made me laugh and reminded me of simpler times when we both were younger. It was something different. I had never really been with someone for as long as I had been with Marty, and I’m sure my mind was beginning to wander, realizing I was going to be dating a “college” guy while still in high school. Did I want to date Wyatt? Did I want to break up with Marty? No. That, I do remember.

One night, for whatever reason, I planned to stay over Wyatt’s house with him. Alone. I’m sure his sister was there, but in her room or doing her own thing. I told Marty that I was staying at a girlfriend’s house. By now, there are probably a million alarms going off in your head. “You went to his house ALONE? You LIED to your boyfriend?” Yes. All of this is true. In my head, I wasn’t expecting anything to happen, but I knew the situation would look bad. I was more concerned about how the situation would look to my boyfriend than my own safety. Let me repeat that: I was more concerned about covering up what I was doing from my boyfriend than my own physical and emotional safety. Whatever part of me, or whatever part of Wyatt that told me what I wanted to hear, let me go forward with it.

We spent the night in his basement, probably watching movies and definitely drinking Four Lokos. Back in those days which are pretty much when I started drinking, everyone drank Four Lokos. They were cheap, easy to get, and would get you fucked up. At times, half of a can of Four Loko could cause me to black out. On this particular night, I probably had between a half and a whole can of Four Loko. Why did I drink this much? At the time, that was normal. It was how we had fun on weekends. I would usually black out due to my extremely low tolerance, but if anyone else ever experienced them, I didn’t know. I thought that, too, was a normal part of drinking and getting drunk.

What I do remember, vividly, is waking up the next morning on the floor of that basement at 1:00 P.M. I think I woke up to the voice of Wyatt’s mom upstairs yelling. I jumped up in a panic. Where was I? What time was it? I grabbed my phone from wherever it was and saw the time, as well as missed calls and texts. One was from my friend, Mia, the friend whose house I was supposed to be spending the night at. She was worried because Marty had tried to contact her after failing to be able to contact me. Another text was from Marty, blatantly calling my bluff and telling me he knew I wasn’t at Mia’s. As the reality of everything set in, I’m sure I grabbed my stuff and got the hell out of dodge. That’s again where things become a little, blurry.

The story of what happened that night is something that formulated in my brain after the fact, pieces at a time. In different ways. And for different reasons. I didn’t tell Marty what happened until several months later. That, I did write about in my diary. About how he took the news surprisingly well. But I didn’t write about the event itself in my diary. In my mind, it was something that was my fault. I should have known better. I shouldn’t have put myself in the situation. I should have said no. I didn’t even want to admit to myself what had happened that night because I knew, at the end of the day, I was supposed to take responsibility for what happened. I cheated on my boyfriend. I made that mistake. To other people, and to society, my emotional and physical safety still were not the important details here. It was what I could have done differently, and instead what I did do.

After that evening of drinking, Wyatt and I both passed out together on the floor. I don’t remember if we were maybe cuddling to sleep, or just fell asleep next to each other. We were in spooning position, with him behind me. At some point, I woke up to Wyatt guiding my hand to what ended up being his penis. Although I don’t remember for sure, I assume there was some kind of foreplay on his part -- either over my pants, or inside of my pants. After some time, I helped guide his penis into my vagina for what was maybe 30 seconds worth of sex. We then both went back to sleep.

Between Marty and I, this was something that was a regular practice. While I look back and think about how problematic the concept was, it was consensual between Marty and I. I would stay over, or he would stay over, and when we were able to actually sleep together overnight it was a somewhat regular thing. I cannot tell you and I will never know exactly what was going through his head when this happened between Wyatt and I. Realistically, I can’t even tell you what was going through my head. Do I think he meant to violate me? No, not really. Do I think he knew what he was doing? Yes. I think he knew who I was, he knew I was drunk, but like many other men (especially at that age) did not realize that consent is a verbal, non-coerced and freely given “yes” compared to the lack of the word “no”. Did I “help” him do what he did? Technically, yes. I also believe that part of my half-drunk half-asleep mind believed that I was doing this with Marty, like we had so many times before. I also believe that if and when I may have realized that it wasn’t Marty, I was too afraid based on what I had already done to stop and say “no”. From my past relationships and past experiences, I had it so far ingrained in my head that sometimes it’s easier, quicker, less painful just to do it than to say “no”. In this regard, I don’t blame Wyatt for what he did. I try to believe that as a semi-functioning adult, he would now know better and be able to do better. I want to believe that he will not pass that mindset onto his son, or any future children he has. While I don’t blame him, what he did was not right. I had a right to feel violated.

From that day on, whether or not he actually said it or just implied it, Marty used what happened that night against me. He used it as an excuse as to why he couldn’t trust me, as well as why he couldn’t trust me around other guys. We ended up breaking up, for other reasons not related to what occurred with Wyatt. A few years later, we ended up getting back together. Although part of that relationship was the idea of starting fresh, realizing that we were both different people than we had been, Marty still held that against me. He used it as a trump card every time I tried to defend myself in a situation that I shouldn’t have even had to defend. The combination of that situation, along with a lot of other things that made Marty not trust me, caused me to really turn into myself during a lot of our relationship. In order to please him, I stopped going out as much or rarely ever. I stopped hanging out with friends, or making an effort to spend time with other people. I stopped doing things that I had previously enjoyed because of the worry of explaining myself to him. It was not until I felt like I had turned into a completely different person, and still did not really have Marty’s trust, that I realized how toxic that situation and our relationship was. Despite how much I knew I loved Marty in my heart, I couldn’t continue to make myself small in order to help Marty feel at ease and in control of me.

Consent, whether to sex or sexual acts or otherwise, is no longer a mystery to me. While it is something that is sometimes hard to navigate, it is not only crucial but necessary. In high school, part of me believed that I didn’t have the right to say no. My self esteem was so low, that I would do it just to feel better -- to not feel like that ugly duckling that was trapped inside of me for so long. To feel in control. But instead, I was taken advantage of. My control over my own body was taken from me, piece by piece, every time I caved and did it or kept my mouth closed and convinced myself this was something I wanted. This is not what sex should be. I want everyone reading this, young or old, male, female or transgender, gay or straight or in between, to know that your boundaries matter. YOU matter. You have the right to say “no”, or say “not now”, or say “I’m not comfortable can we take a breather?”. I treated my body like garbage, and years later, I am finally starting to heal and forgive myself. To see sex as a way to connect with someone, not as a weapon or as a trophy. I put myself in a lot of dangerous situations to try to satisfy that craving and am lucky enough that it never resulted in serious negative consequences. We are taught and conditioned to believe that sex leads to love and connection with a person to make us happy. It is the complete opposite. Someone who can respect you enough to wait until you are comfortable to do whatever sexual acts is someone who you can have a connection with, and maybe some type of love will form. But all of this first comes from respecting yourself, and loving the essence of who you are to keep yourself physically and emotionally safe.

‘’Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you You're gonna believe them And when you're fifteen, don't forget to love before you fall I've found time can heal most anything And you just might find who you're supposed to be I didn't know who I was supposed to be Fifteen’’

I wish I had known all of that at 15. But I’m Forgiving Myself.

Credit to:

http://www.loveisrespect.org/content/what-sexual-coercion/ http://www.metrolyrics.com/fifteen-lyrics-taylor-swift.html 

P.S. I changed the name of the individuals in this post because my goal was not to call them out. The purpose in writing this was to release myself from the chains that kept me from telling these stories for many years, as well as to help young women (or anyone for that matter) who may have experienced something similar and can benefit from knowing that they are not alone and that what happened to them isn’t right. 

[zdtclint01812909-blog]

young busty - Charlie Sheen's Guide To Young Busty

Two of them were of about my age while one guy was few years elder. I was a good looking fit girl by any standards. This happened couple of years ago while I was living in a new city while working at my first job ever after graduation. I was a horny girl at that time with a higher than normal sex drive. Now, everyone was staring at me in a particular way. The drunk guy called me a slut and I felt really humiliated. I was 22 and I was living in a house which had 4 bedrooms each being rented out to different people. Then there was a silence and other two also said that they had fucked me too. Over the next few days our relationships drastically changed. They no longer gave me that special respect which girls usually get. He stripped me without even closing the door. I was embarrassed and concerned that the other guys may see me like this if they walk through the corridor. This brought us closer together and we used to hang out together all the time, although none of them were aware that I had sex with other two guys too. He then took out his dick without removing his shorts and face fucked me. Then he made me stand in doggy position with my ass up and face down on the bed. Then he put his long thick cock into my pussy and fucked me in the roughest way I have ever been fucked. So, I had 3 room mates living in the adjacent rooms. I was taken aback but said yes as I wanted some attention. I had one night stand kinda things with all three of them over next six months. I felt humiliated and embarrassed when one of the other guys passed through the corridor and saw me like that. One night we were drunk and a guy foolishly uttered how he was attracted to me and how great the sex was. He kept on rough fucking me for like ten minutes, then slapped my ass calling me a bitch and then he came in my pussy without even giving me a warning. When I asked him to close the door, he just uttered shut the fuck up slut. They no longer considered me a girl they need to please, instead I was just their fuck toy which they can use whenever and however they want. This guy was fully clothed young busty except for his dick in my pussy, while I was getting fucked butt naked in such a submissive position. Then he stripped me without even asking me anything. One day I was browsing the internet when the eldest guy came to my room and asked me to come to the common hall. I felt really degraded but that also felt kinda sexually kinky. Couple of months passed, and I had completely became their free use slut whom they can fuck whenever they want except when I am on my periods. One day the eldest guy came to my room and directly asked if he can fuck me. I got tied in a spread eagle position on our sofa. It was evening time and we both were the only ones in the house at that time. Then he laughingly wrote free use above my breasts and slut in big letters on my stomach with an plumper porn arrow pointing towards my pussy using a marker. I was bit concerned getting tied up in our common room but I didnt object to it as doing whatever they want to do to me had become the standard over the past months. And my high sex drive made me comply with it fully even if I get mortally embarrassed. I looked something like this or this. He then said he want to try bondage and started tying my hands to the corners of the sofa. Over the next few weeks, I had such sexual encounters with all three of the guys. The kinkiest thing was when he slapped my pussy with his long cock and it made a particular noise. I had never had anal sex and I was totally nervous that he is going to do it and I had no power to stop him. Perhaps this is why he did bondage and mouth gagged me. Then he took some lotion and applied it on my asshole and put a finger in there. Again, he didnt even ask if I want to do it as he knew I was his free use slut. Once I was enough lubricated, he slowly pushed his cock inside my asshole. It felt really painful for the first time. He applied more lotion and started fingering my asshole. He then fucked me as long as he wanted in the roughest way possible. Then he ball gagged my mouth. That was the largest amount of cum I had seen someone cum. Then he said something to himself like that was fucking good several times and sat butt naked on the sofa opposite me. His cum was on my face, boobs, stomach, pussy and ass hole. Then, it started feeling little good. He rested there for few minutes while I was still tied up with all this cum on me. I made facial expressions asking him to untie me, but he just left me like that. He was slow and easy at first, but after some time he started rough fucking my virgin asshole. He had a laugh as he closed the door. Now it was silent and I was getting more and more nervous. Then he put more and more fingers until I was ready for him. He then went into shower, got clothed and came to the hall. I made that no face which I used young busty to do when he had tried it some weeks ago. After about twenty minutes I heard sound outside the door. I know they have seen me naked and even fucked me several times, but it is really really awkward to get caught in such positions even if you have had several sexual encounters. I was super jealous of her and I almost hated her. I had multiple orgasms in ways I couldnt even imagine. It was that girlfriend kinda girl of one of the guys. Then I heard a ladys sound along with them. I was tied butt naked on our common room in spread eagle position with cum all over me and my room mates could be back anytime. And, she also used to treat me like second-class-citizen. I hated her due to this. Last time while we were hanging out in the same hall, she had ordered me to make juice for her and the guys, and I had complied half heatedly. Then when I brought the juice, she said it was bad and ordered me to add more sugar to her juice. She looked at her boyfriend like what the hell is this, and he introduced me as a slut anyone can use however they want, and that the elder guy may have used her like this. She giggled at the explanation and looked at me in a certain way. I was mortally embarrassed and humiliated. She kept her hand on her mouth as she over dramatically showed her surprise. It was degrading to hear her call me a slut and how yucky the cum is on me. Now I was getting freaked out. And, now she is going to see me like this! Then she came near my hears and whispered who will make our drinks now. I thought they would untie me and end my humiliation but they were not even bothered about it. It was as degrading and humiliating as it gets. He looked at me with a weird smile and said something like he have some meeting to attend and that he will be back soon. She took her boyfriend to their room, while the other guy sat on the sofa and started watching the TV. Then he started playing some game on TV. She was treated like a princess by the guys while I was treated like a slave. She then had a sudden laugh pointing at my asshole, and over dramatically showed the cum oozing out to the guys saying that I was just anally fucked. Weirdly, it was more humiliating to get zero attention while in such embarrassing position than being in such position itself. He was fully occupied with their games and didnt give any attention to the spread eagle naked girl in the room. Sometime later they both came out of their bedroom, she talked something romantic to him, she looked at me in a certain way probably indicating the difference between her sex and mine. About half an hour passed. They were probably having romantic sensual sex. After few minutes, they untied me while making fun of me. I felt more degraded when they showed zero interest in fucking me, and instead just untied me and let me go to the bathroom. They opened the door, and the three of them came in and was surprised to see me like this. Few days later, that girl was in the house, and I was totally embarrassed to face her. I looked down in shame. Meanwhile, that girl and her boyfriend were in the bed. With all my courage I went to that hall where I was young busty humiliated and degraded few days ago. We hanged out for some time, watched a french softcore movie, had some food etc. She made few more comments about me and the guys kinda agreed. So, I didnt get out of my room. Some time later the guys came to my room and asked me to hangout with them. Everyone was bored and was just sitting on their sofas. Maybe they didnt like all the cum on me or maybe it was due to the respect to that lady. I could slightly hear their romantic talks. She then asked me to keep my hands on my head. She pulled down my skirt fully from my legs, and tried to separate my legs imitating the spread eagle I did few days ago. I had expected them to fuck me at some point. Then she suddenly pulled down my mini skirt along with the panties. That girl said something like lets play a game and asked me to stand infront of the sofa she was sitting on. I kept giggling and saying no, not again please but she was really strong and everyone was taking it playfully. I quickly picked up my skirt and wore it without panties which had gone under the sofa. I giggled and bend down to pick my skirt, when she kept her feet on my skirt in such a way that I cant pull it up. She then put one of her hands on my pussy and inserted two fingers in there fingering me, and asked the guys Does anyone wants to fuck this slut? Everyone laughed more as she released me. She asked what and made me say that I was not wearing any panties under my mini skirt. She said that is not needed and that we are only going to the nearby restaurant. She made sure I came with them, and while leaving the house, I wanted to go to my room and put a new panty, but she was holding my hand. To be continued based on your response. She slapped my ass and continued This slut will also do anal sex. This is the first story I am writing. I had really kinky life for some time and have young busty few such stories. We hanged out for some more time while I was embarrassed, and then someone suggested that we go to the nearest restaurant and have some food. I said to her that I want to go to my room to pick something. Then she pulled me backwards, and I fell on the sofa she was sitting. Sorry for my bad English. The guys also added that I am making them late and asked me to come as-is.