#i really wrote 1k words for this *stares into the abyss*

[yoakkemae-moved]

@hlyrlrs asked: Meta about how Spencer felt towards the BAU team members are first. Especially the OG season 1 team.

gideon, everyone knows, met spencer during a lecture gideon was having. spencer just finished his engineering degree and wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to go into physics or psychology next (psychology because it was different to all of the hard sciences he had been learning). he saw gideon lecture and thought he was interesting and wanted to speak more on the subject of profiling, and they talked for several hours until spencer realised he was potentially going to run late for a date and left. 

funnily enough, his date was with stephen gideon, and spencer found out about the relation during dinner when he talked about the interesting lecture he went to. they still went on a few dates, but when stephen found out that spencer was going to join the bau, he bounced because while his relationship with his dad was kind of getting better (or, at least, was evening out), he didn’t want to lose another person to that job. spencer wasn’t too upset about it because they weren’t that close yet. 

spencer knew things between gideon and stephen weren’t airtight, and knew that when gideon was trying to get him to join the team, it was both because spencer was an asset and also out of some bizarre quasi-replacement son thing, but spencer never really had a father figure and didn’t quite mind that either. in a way, they were both using each other, and both of them knew that (but one was twenty and one was fifty, and, on gideon’s part, it wasn’t always the most innocent). 

spencer didn’t think that gideon was perfect, of course, spencer knew better than to ever really believe in anyone like that (especially a quasi-father figure), but spencer ignored a lot of gideon flaws and tried to really focus on the positives. it wasn’t until gideon left the team, in a similar fashion to how his father did, that spencer really allowed himself to ruminate on the flaws that gideon had. so, his first impression of gideon was that he was wicked smart and interesting to learn from. 

despite how things sometimes were, spencer was thankful that gideon encouraged him to join the bau. he’s not sure what his life would have looked like, otherwise. 

with hotch and morgan, he was initially intimidated by both of them for different reasons. despite them both being alpha males, they both presented it very differently, and, in certain ways, hotch reminded spencer of his father and morgan reminded spencer of his high school bullies. it didn’t help that it took a while for morgan to truly warm up to spencer -- for what reason, spencer still isn’t quite sure, and will probably never know because he doesn’t want to know. 

(i’m not a morgan rper, but personally i headcanon that some of morgan’s uncomfortableness with spencer joining the team came from his age -- yes, spencer was an uncommonly smart twenty-two year old, but should he really be at the bau at that age? i feel like morgan was probably the only one on the team to really question that, at first.) 

despite being intimidated by both hotch and morgan, spencer tried not to really show it. used to hostility from bullies at any age, and knowing just how badly showing fear could go, spencer tried to show neutrality as much as he could. it took time for spencer to really get over his intimidation of morgan, and that happened at around the same time that morgan stopped treating spencer with any sort of hostility. 

with hotch, spencer didn’t really stop being intimidated by him until the ldsk case -- not because hotch was as hostile as morgan (because he wasn’t, and sometimes he was even nicer than gideon), but because hotch was the boss and spencer didn’t want to piss him off. however, you can’t be held hostage together and trust someone with a plan and not get a little bit more comfortable with each other. 

with j.j., spencer was also intimidated by her, in a similar fashion to morgan -- j.j. reminded him of the popular girls in his school, particularly alexa lisbon (as they shared similarities -- blonde, skinny, very very pretty, and seemingly nice). it took a while for spencer realised that j.j. was genuinely nice, and a lot of his worries about j.j. disappeared. personally speaking, i’m still unsure of whether or not my spencer did have a crush on j.j., but they did go on the date at the urging of gideon, and the two of them had a conversation and they remained platonic ever since. 

with garcia, spencer wasn’t intimidated of her; although, she was definitely a bigger personality than he was really used to. (both ethan and stephen, the only people he could really call “friends” at that point in his life, were rather calm). she went for a hug when they finally officially met, but spencer cited his discomfort with physical affection, and garcia made sure to remember that and either asked before she touched or made sure that it was always minimal, which really helped to endear her to spencer and spencer really appreciated. it also helped that they were both nerds, and they became really fast friends, faster than spencer had ever really been friends with anyone else. 

elle was always going to be a different story. she was hot, intelligent, and didn’t seem to fall into the same illusions as the others -- well, elle accepted spencer almost instantly, talked to him, and understood him in ways that surprised him. despite hanging out with penelope more outside of work and knowing gideon (and, technically, the rest of the team) for longer, spencer felt the closest to elle. (he was also very attracted to elle but pushed that down hard. not only did he think that elle would never be interested, but he didn’t need the complications of dating a teammate, especially a new one, and i say that even though i do headcanon that ashley seaver and spencer did go on a date together, but shhh). 

he really missed elle a lot when she left, and he did send her letters every four months, just to touch base (not talking about the team or their cases, but other things, like his research or just stories). once in a while, he would receive letters back that said “thanks”, and it’s all he needed to keep sending them. he’s pretty sure that the rest of the team doesn’t know he’s still in contact with elle (and, after a few years, they evolve from mostly one-sided letters to actual text conversations and then calls), and he’s not going to say anything about it either. 

his closeness with elle is what initially sparked his dislike of emily (well, and the drug problem), until emily, in a sense, kind of took elle’s place in a slightly different but similar way (and, clearly, spencer has a type for intelligent people who don’t mind him). 

this is all i’m doing for now, but maybe i’ll do one of these later with the entire cast. for now, here’s the entire season one line-up. 

[jadewritings]

Carry On, My Restless Warrior

PAIRING: Dean Winchester x Reader

WORD COUNT: 1k ish

WARNINGS: Angst, tw: suicide, tw: death, Sadness all around

AUTHOR’S NOTE: So the 500 follower thing has been a flop, lol no one has sent anything in so I’m probably gonna scrap it and we can celebrate at another milestone.

So I wrote this inspired by the song Carry You by Ruelle. It honestly gave me so much inspo at once at 3am -_- and honestly thinking of writing another to the song Surrender by Natalie Taylor for Sam....

The bottle sat on the edge of the sink, taunting you as you stared at it. Things didn’t get easier. Things weren’t better like you were led to believe. And now, you resorted to your last option.

I know it hurts

It's hard to breathe sometimes

These nights are long

You've lost the will to fight

That first moment that you opened your eyes felt like you were floating. That weightless feeling, the feeling of not having the world on your shoulders? That’s what you felt. And it was too good to let go of.

You heard a familiar voice shout your name. You looked around but it was endless white light. The voice echoed again and you recognized him. Dean.

Is anybody out there?

Can you lead me to the light

Is anybody out there?

Tell me it'll all be alright

He sounded so panicked, so.... sad. You felt a drip on your cheek. You wiped but nothing was there. A phantom feeling of his tears.

But then darkness spread around you and you felt like you were falling. Falling into an endless abyss. How long had you been falling now?

You are not alone

I've been here the whole time singing you a song

I will carry you, I will carry you

You settled and the darkness gave way to scenery. The bunker. His room. You were confused. No. You understood. Dean couldn’t let go and now you were stuck.

2 months later...

You were always there. For every tear, for every object thrown across the room. You were there for the restless nights and the unanswered prayers. You cried the nights he drowned his feelings in beer bottles and whiskey. The bright light he once had in his eyes now a distant memory.

I know you can't remember how to shine

Your heart's a bird without the wings to fly

You never meant for it to be like this. For him to be in this kind of state. You just wanted to be rid of the constant feeling of self hatred, guilt, pain and sorrow.

He wasn’t ready to let go no matter how much you were. If he had just gotten to you sooner. Now, the weight was on his shoulders.

Is anybody out there?

Can you take this weight of mine?

He sat on the edge of his bed, clutching the letter you had written long ago. Addressed to him, something personal to keep.

He tossed it to the ground, forcefully dragging from his 10th bottle of beer. He seemed to think that was the only way he could stop the feelings but in reality, it only intensified things. Until he drank so much he wouldn’t remember a thing in the morning.

You were there in the corner, watching him and Sam occasionally checked up on him.

You felt the call of heaven every now and then. You wanted to be there, you just couldn’t. Not until Dean moved on.

Is anybody out there?

Can you lead me to the light?

You flinched when a chair went through your body. Dean was angry again.

The tears bunches up in your eyes until they could no longer be held back.

“Dean...” you whispered. But he couldn’t hear you. He pushed the things off of his desk, yanked at his hair, shattered the mirror with his fist.

“DEAN!” You shouted. This time, he turned around. He stood there, staring at you. You stood there, crying because the man you loved wholeheartedly, more than anyone else, was broken beyond repair.

“Y/N?” He huffed a small laugh, a smile playing on his lips. He could no longer hold in his own tears. Two strides and he was in front of you.

“How... how are you here?” He asked. His hand came up to touch your cheek but he only hovered. A tingle where he should have touched spread through you like a firework.

“I’ve been here the whole time, Dean.”

You are not alone

I've been here the whole time singing you a song

I will carry you, I will carry you

Dean looked like he couldn’t believe it. He never felt you, never realized you were there. Then he got angry. Angry at you for leaving him. Angry for not coming to him. Most of all, he was angry at himself. For not seeing it from the start.

The way you slowly cut yourself off from them, from him. The light that he so adored and the smile that always somehow made his day slowly faded into emptiness. You felt alone and he didn’t even notice.

You are not alone

I've been here the whole time

You are not alone

I've been here the whole time singing you a song

“Dean.” You called his name. His eyes met your, the love he held for you more clear than he’s felt in a long time.

“You have to let me go.”

He understood. Really, he did. He knew what happens to ghosts who stay for too long. He’s killed many of them. But you were an exception.

“I-I can’t.”

“You have too, baby. I can’t stay, you know that.” He hated how right you were. “I will always be here with you. I will carry you when you can no longer walk. I’ll be there, no matter what.”

I will carry you, I will carry you

(Is anybody out there?)

I will carry you, I will carry you

(Is anybody out there?)

“I know it’s hard. It hurts like hell even. But I promise, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be right here.” You lifted your hand to his chest.

You stood up on your toes, your lips meeting his. Tears forced themselves from his eyes. He felt it. That last fleeting kiss that filled him yet left more holes than he started with.

“I love you, Dean.”

I know it hurts

It's hard to breathe sometimes

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[paladinwrites]

sunrise

Keith x reader

100 follower contest prize: second place (~1500 words one-shot) @rosewhore

[keith taking his fem!so to the beach to watch the sunrise on a first date after they get back to earth]

I misread this at first and thought it was supposed to take place in the first episode of season 8 (because sunrise --> sunset --> that one sunset scene in s8) and accidentally wrote 1k words on another idea, so whoops

also, we are pretending that allura never died and only just weakened to the point of near death

regardless, sorry about my mini disappearance! writer’s block & school hit me, but I’m partly back now!

word count: 1.4k

- mod asteria ✨

It was all over. Haggar had been defeated, every reality had been saved and the universe was safe from the Galra. After the years of fighting everyone had gone through, it was almost unbelievable that peace was finally achieved. Keith had been through so much, freeing planets, Blade of Marmora missions, the Quantum Abyss and even a few brushes with death.

So why on Earth (haha) was he so nervous for the date with [Name]?

Granted, as far as Keith knew, he was able to survive everything the war had thrown at him, but this was something emotional and something Keith wasn’t familiar with. The whole ‘asking someone out’ wasn’t his sort of style.

With a bit of help from Shiro (and Lance, regretfully), Keith had awkwardly asked [Name] (whom he had an interest in which he wasn’t even aware of until everyone else pointed it out) out on a date.

The problem?

Keith was a walking disaster and had managed to set it up at about 6 in the morning (Lance almost didn’t believe him, ”You were supposed to say pm, not am!”). Keith was also completely unsure of what he was to do. What did people even do on dates? Eat? Talk? In fact, what would they do if it was extremely early in the morning?

Operation “Make sure Keith doesn’t mess up” started soon afterwards and the paladins were forced to stuff themselves into an abandoned room inside the Garrison. Keith personally felt that everyone was overreacting. Why would they care that much about his date? After a few explanations from Lance and reassurances from Shiro, he begrudgingly agreed to join in on the meeting.

In fact, throughout the entire ‘meeting,’ it consisted of mainly Coran, Lance and Pidge throwing out ideas while one other would shoot it down. Whenever all three (mainly Lance and Pidge) agreed on an idea, it would then be shut down by Allura or Shiro, claiming it was too dangerous, inefficient or just plain impossible. 

Keith was glad those two were there to be the adults of the group, for the ideas being offered were definitely not something he would have wanted to try, especially after having gone through many dangerous situations in his lifetime.

It was only when Hunk spoke up with the simple idea of watching the sunset (how nobody ever mentioned that, Keith didn’t understand) when there was the approval of all everyone.

After that, it was just endless tips and tricks, what not to do, what to do and how not to make himself look plain weird in front of [Name]. One of Pidge and Allura’s advice was particular effective in convincing Keith not to mess up, with both of them smiling too much for his comfort, implying a small threat not to hurt [Name] or to pay the consequences.

And despite how nice Allura tended to be and how small Pidge was, both could be pretty darn terrifying they wanted to.

Standing outside the door, Keith could definitely feel the sweat building up on his hands. Butterflies tickled his stomach as he lightly tapped his foot against the ground. Keith was beyond nervous. His eyes glanced over to the clock in the distance. It was nearly time. He watched as the seconds hand ticked around and around. 

Until finally, a bit after it was six, the door opened.

Keith didn’t have any words. His jaw nearly dropped open in surprise.

[Name] was standing there, donning an [outfit of choice]. With a simple smile, whatever Keith was about to say completely disappeared and the two of them stood there in silence.

Keith brought a hand up to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly. Shifting his foot from side to side in, he quickly stuttered out his words. “S-so, do you want to go?”

“I’d love to.” [Name]’s soft smile was what relaxed Keith’s nerves.

The two of them soon found themselves wandering along the seashore. The beach was a bit of a walk away and the cool air nipped at their skin, but it was worth it. It was still dark by the time both had gotten there.

Both made their way onto the sand and started to walk. There was no specific destination in mind, but it was nice to just walk and not worry about a possible attack or prying eyes.

[Name] had long taken off her shoes and socks, holding them lightly in one hand and letting her feet feel the sand between her toes.

It was a simple matter and she was enjoying herself. Keith couldn’t help but let a small smile grow at the sight of the girl giggling as she ran about the sand. He made his way slowly behind her, avoiding strange large items that had been washed ashore by the waves.

The two walked along side by side for a little while, Keith watching [Name] with a soft, fond look on his face. Before everything, before he had gone up into space in the Blue Lion, he had known [Name] at the Garrison.

As cliche as it sounded, she was one of the only people who bothered with Keith. At first, he had only really interacted with Shiro, and ignored all of his classmates. But then, a girl his age, maybe younger, walked up to him, held out her hand and asked him if he had wanted to be friends.

He was young, reckless and a pure loner then. He had stared at the hand for a short while, then awkwardly ran off, not knowing how to react. It was only he had told Shiro when he realised that maybe, it was the better choice to accept.

Keith didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. [Name] had come back, day after day, sat next to him and just interacted with him in the best way she could. It was a hard and strange process, but the girl had slowly managed to peel away the walls around Keith’s interior.

That had been the start of their friendship and the tiny blossom of a crush in Keith’s heart.

Four years on (technically one and three for [Name] and Keith respectively), Keith wouldn’t have ever believed he had a chance with [Name]. She always seemed so friendly and so kind the pretty much everyone else, it seemed impossible that she didn’t have someone else.

“C’mon Keith!” Keith looked up and saw that [Name] had run ahead while he was caught up in his thoughts. She was a little further out, but the distance could be covered easily. [Name] waved her arms about, laughing uncontrollably. The wind had slightly picked up, blowing her air around. Keith smiled. How had he got lucky?

He picked up his pace and jogged over to [Name]. By then, she had sat down on the sand and was weaving her fingers between the grains as she waited for him. Realising that he had arrived, she patted the space next to her, urging him to sit down.

Keith did as so. [Name] leaned back and looked out towards the sea. It was dark then, most probably due to the fact that the sun was only just rising. Keith noticed this and followed her gaze.

The sun was bright, nearly forcing the both of them to look away, but the beauty that was unfolding in front of them was too good to miss. Slowly, the deep blue the sky was previously covered in was tinted with brilliant shades of red, pink and orange. In the sky, wisps of colour changed and swirled about as the sun slowly brought light into the sky.

Gradually, as the sun slowly rose, [Name] slowly, but catiously started to lean her head on Keith’s shoulders. The boy stiffened up at first, but gradually he relaxed, liking the contact. He brought an arm around to hold her. The embrace wasn’t tight, but they could both feel it and it was enough.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yeah. And it’ll be the first of many that we can see now that we’re back.” There was a small chuckle from [Name].

“So we’re going to wake up each day and five thirty and walk out here to watch the sunrise?” Keith’s cheeks immediately flared red at her words, remembering his small slip-up from the start.

“I-I-” He tried to stammer out a proper response, slightly embarrassed.

“Don’t worry about it Keith, I don’t mind trading the sunrise for the sunset some days.” 

[kimbiablue]

ridiculous ficlet after The Hug that I wrote to cope with my feels

Well this ended up 1k words lmao. Enjoy this crap I wrote today because I keep crying about the hug. Note: I love the way the scene went, and the scene where they talked after, and don’t wish for anything to have gone differently… plus I’m waiting for that sweet sweet garridebs confession in TFP. I just literally sat down and spit out my emotions into this. That’s why it’s extra dramatic and soppy and disjointed… and also why it’s not going on my AO3. XD

LMAO ENJOY

—

Sherlock holds him.

Even after his sobs subside, and he’s lowered his hand from his face to the back of that expensive blue dressing gown, Sherlock continues to hold him.

Nothing is okay. But this is comfortable.

Sherlock’s cheek pressed into his hair, pale hands strong and sure and gentle on his shoulder and his back. The fire warming them. The familiar scent of 221B, and of Sherlock.

Phrases echo in his head. Gone before you know it. Complete you as a human being. I still do. Get the hell on with it. It is what it is.

To John, standing here in Sherlock’s arms, it all feels like a precipice. There have been many in the years he’s known this man. All chances never taken.

This could be the one they don’t miss.

“Sherlock.” John says into Sherlock’s chest. He raises one foot over the edge, over the vast abyss.

“Yes, John.” Quiet, patient, tender, murmured into his hair.

He doesn’t respond at first. His foot hovers in the air. The drop from the edge is terrifying.

But it’s better than what he’s leaving behind. “I do still want more.”

Sherlock huffs a breath into his hair.

“But not with a woman on a bus. Not with just anyone.“

He extends his arms. He falls forward. “I wonder if Mary knew I was never hers. Not really.”

Flush against his chest, John can feel when Sherlock’s breathing stops, and when his heart picks up. He takes gasping breaths of the air whipping past him as he descends.

“Of course I never was. And of course it’s not the Woman.”

Sherlock’s arms wrap around John a little tighter. John doesn’t think someone watching would have even noticed. But he can feel it.

“I’ve just got one. It’s always you. Sherlock’s a girl’s name. It is what it is. Can’t you say what you really mean?"

The last few words might be a shout into Sherlock’s shirt.

There’s a soft, helpless sound, exhaled on the top of his head. “It was never the right time.”

John’s heart stutters. He’s left the mental abyss and he’s here.

“What about. Now?” He pulls back far enough to look at the man before him, the man who used to sneer at love and call it a defect. The man who has become more human than anyone John has ever known. The man John has loved for years.

Sherlock is silk and stubble and pain and fear and love.

“Are you ready to hear it?” His lips quiver. His fingers move to latch onto John’s arms.

John’s breath leaves him in what could be considered the quietest of laughs. “I don’t know. Am I even ready to say it myself?”

Sherlock doesn’t answer, just watches him with those silver eyes that seem to melt in the firelight. John has never loved anything as much.

“Right. It’s not okay. Not right now. But that doesn’t make this less true. There’s nothing else for me.”

He gestures at the flat. Sherlock’s arm moves with his.

“I’m not the same man who missed his chances before. I’m taking them now, but it won’t be as easy.”

But part of him knows that it will be easier, in a sense. They’re embracing by the fire at Baker Street. They’ve gone further than they ever have. It’s all been spoken in the ridiculous manner they have always had. And they understand each other perfectly.

“Will you wait, Sherlock?”

He’d waited. He wants to bring up the fall. He doesn’t.

“Oh, John.” Sherlock’s lips curve up, all softness and no angles. “I’ve been waiting my entire life. I think I’ll manage. As long as it’s you.”

John doesn’t see Mary now. Maybe he’ll never know what she really was. But he’s glad for what what his heart made her, in the absence of Sherlock, to push him back to where he belongs. He wants to kiss Sherlock, desperately.

“God, Sherlock. Who the hell knows what this is.” He laughs this time, a small, broken sound. “Please say I can kiss you.”

Sherlock’s expression doesn’t change, though John had expected it to. He simply blinks, eyes burning into John’s. He nods. John can feel their hearts racing alongside one another.

It’s tentative, and different, and laden with inexperience on Sherlock’s part. But it’s incredible, it’s healing, it’s home.

Sherlock doesn’t seem to know what to say as they face each other. John waits, staring at lips wet from his own.

“You taste like bergamot.”

John smiles at how, despite everything, Sherlock is still Sherlock.

“You never drank Earl Grey here.”

John shrugs. He’s still in awe. He thinks he’s smiling but he can’t be sure. It would feel so foreign now.

“You can drink it here.” Sherlock is suddenly shy, hopeful. Trembling. John can feel it. “I’ll buy some. I promise I will.”

It sounds like a promise to buy tea. John knows it’s a promise for so much more.

“I’d like that.” He pulls Sherlock back into an embrace. Nearly 7 years. They’ve never done this. They’re idiots, he thinks.

It’s not okay. It’s not now, and it won’t be, John doesn’t know for how long. But he has Sherlock. That’s all he’s ever had. And they will get through.

—

oh and ps I was drinking earl grey tea while writing this, hence the bergamot shit hahahaha anyway here’s some tags lalalala 💖

@the-sign-of-johnlock @badsnowfo @shag-me-senseless-watson @salve-regina-mills @the-blue-carbuncle @inevitably-johnlocked @queerjawn @visionandperception @sherlohomora @love-in-mind-palace @marcespot @depth-of-loyalty-and-love @chinike @sherlock-overflow-error @consultingeastwind @artfulkindoforder @lostvioletowl @tali-zora @snarrylock @byebyefrost @witch-lock @onlyhereforjohnlock @addignisherlock @just-another-exhausted-fangirl @alicerum @laughing-crying-feelslikeimdying @hmsfuckingjohnlock @thegayestdetective @verminuet @1895itsallfine @1895-doyle-and-bronte-obsessed @astudyinsubtext @astudyinkink @beejohnlocked @maryleboneroad @chrysanthemumsies @simpleanddestructivechemistry @sorcererofsupremepizza @minorheartattack @grumpybisexualarmydoctor @franklyridiculousadventures @somedrunkpirate @a-candle-for-sherlock @consulting-goldfish @sherlockprettydamngayholmes @watsonisakitten @princesskushinada @vanetti @sherlock-watson-could-work @sherlockedwatson @lonelyshezza @licked-by-johnlock-hellfire @loveismyrevolution @bakerstreet-irregular @twocandles @a-little-domestic @dyggyd @currently-in-my-mind-palace @mydearestjawn @shaolingrrl @kaia-on-fire @crreative-chaaos @mahoumachine @bijohnbi @fallingoffbarts @let-bijohns-be-bi-johns @missartemisholmes @s-tory-teller @thepurplewombat @shurplepurpofsex @homowatson @cumberbatch-dandy @fleurdelisandbees @gaydvsion @markmypage @shawleyleres @ifyouarelookingforbabynames @scandalsinpink @loveinthemindpalace @holmeson