#i really wish people would quit being toxic all the time tho. its not fun. : / And it makes the game very un-new-user-friendly

[saltynsassy31]

no cus i totally understand your frustration, ive also quit splatfests for the moment until they get an overhaul

i suggest if you feel close to getting hateful to either shiver or shiver fans then maybe quit for a while for your own sake cus ive felt a lot better after doing so, im still really sensitive to negative comments towards frye or rude ones about shiver winning but taking some time for myself has made me feel infinitely better

ive been close to hating shiver before bc of how cocky and rude them and their fans can be but it doesnt really do anything but sour your enjoyment of the game more, so its really not worth it

i do have to say though, anyone who says "its just a game" reaaally needs to understand the frustration of people OTHER than them, sympathy is something a lot of people forget about when it comes to things that arent real life. just because it doesnt affect you doesnt mean everyone can shut off their attachment to the game or a character like a light switch; a lot of the time you dont know whats going on with them. i myself am really attached to frye cus i am hashtag autism creature and he brings me comfort, so anyone being rude to me about shiver winning really REALLY gets under my skin. its not entirely (if they were serious, if they werent then its not at all) their fault, but nintendo fixing the frustration of splatfests constantly keeling in one direction (which theyre supposed to do anyways but they havent) would definitely fix the issue. we need to find a way to have nintendo fix this, not attack anyone else for what bundle of pixels and text theyre attached to.

not everyone has really thick skin and if we want splatoon 3 to be more hospitable then we should try to cut down on the general splatfest bullassery in public spaces (being overly cocky and rude/blaming others in a way with no basis or truth behind it). its not something everyone can always do since we arent all perfect, but if we make steps in that direction then we could help more people enjoy the splatoon community rather than being eaten up by toxicity and spite

i didnt word all of this entirely correctly so like interpret ad best as you can cus im eepy but yeah.

a fye for u to enjoy (also ur anon is off btw)

u dont have to but for the sake of not being harrassed id appreciate if u didnt tag with public tags

👏👏 PREACH

I don't want to quit playing it, I do enjoy splatfests, to a certain extent, i like going with my friends and i made a lot of new friends through it, it's like, the online community that I'm having a problem with

I don't hate shiver, I thought I did but I can't, she is still a comfort character (tho Frye is like, my obsession besides being my comfort character cuz I am also part part the 'tism XD), in a way, I like her dynamic with the group at least, she annoys me, yes, very much so, but I don't hate her

And I don't hate people who like her either

Who I do hate is people being mean about it, I had turned off anon cuz of a stupid person who was going around every frye support account anonymously just saying mean stuff and praising shiver as the best, I just forgot to turn it on, so thanks for reminding me 😅

Saying that "It's just a game" is so annoying to, tell that to the football fans, they go just as crazy if not more so

Splatfests are ment to be fun! You should be able to enjoy the splatfest without having to worry about people fighting

I don't like fighting with people, I hate how angry I become, how mean I can sound sometimes, I usually just vent without interacting

At least she won in Japan, so that is one other win under her belt, I just wish she'd win more in the future 😔

Oh also I almost didn't participate in this splatfest either and I did only because I haven't had time to play and I haven't finished my catalogue yet 😅 I usually use splatfests to up my catalogue quicker lmao

Also, don't worry, I won't tag anything that could get you harassed, if anything does happen, please block for your health, I don't want anything happening to you, you seem very sweet ;w;

Edit: also YOUR FRYE PLUSH IS SO CUTE! I've been seeing people get her but idk where to buy her!!!! Where'd you get it? :0

[ziracona]

omg i turned my messages on ps4 off cause dbd players are SALTY but one of the very last convos i had with a random dbd player were about how one time they pissed someone else off so much in dbd that the person ended up doxxing them and getting their address and stuff and iirc the police might have been involved? but luckily the situation was calmly deescalated and nothing bad happened but like... good lord asldkjfjlkadf.

Bro you made the only good choice. 😂 I should really do that too. I try to leave it on so I can like, get “hey I have a key” messages from teammates, or thank yous and be nice to my team and stuff, but is it worth it? Man, I try to never message people or message back if people are dicks, just block them, but it gets so irritating when people just choose to be dicks over and over, & dbd is very high in toxicity unfortunately. : / I have a hard time not wanting to do something if the situation is unfair or needlessly mean and shitty just for fun, esp if I’m like, trying to introduce the game to a friend? I regretabbly have made poor decisions a few times & messaged people at like sleep deprived 4am, & it needs to be a never again TuT.

But uh also that’s insane omg. The lengths???? Lord. That’s kinda terrifying. Good lord. People really get weird about games don’t they? Unreal. Why? Why on earth would you possibly be so mad about a game of dbd as to dox someone, or hunt down their irl address? Why are people like this. Glad at least it turned out ok but woof.

[sanzu-sanzu-sanzu]

Hiiiii.🙈

Just came here to say that I love your Songs About Toxic People so much.❤️ I've been obsessed about the Bonten Executives ever since I caught up with the manga and it's just so sad how we don't have enough content about them yet.🤧

I love all the Bonten Executives and my favorites are Sanzu and the Haitanis.🥺🤧💕

It's funny because I don't even know how that happened and I didn't notice it right away but the next thing I know I'm simping after the three of them so hard and for days my mind has been filled with nothing but thoughts of them ever since. Oh, the struggle. (😂)

The lack of content about them almost turned me into a fanfic writer right then and there (🤣) because I seriously wanted to read something about an OC who's also the only female executive in Bonten and I almost wrote it down myself, I swear.😆 I have never written something before in my life. Never. That's why I am soooo glad to find Songs About Toxic People. You have no idea how you saved me from the thirst I've been having ever since I got introduced to Bonten!Sanzu and Bonten!Haitanis and how you silenced the raging thoughts in my head about them if only for a little while, may God help me.

Now. About your absolutely beautiful and wonderfully written fic. Let me just say that I love everything about it.✨ The characterization, the little details about OC, their interactions, the dialogue, everything, is chef's kiss in my opinion. English is not my first language and (I'm guessing your's isn't as well? If I'm wrong, please ignore this but if I'm right then) I admire how beautiful your narration is. The words you use and the way you can create an image in your readers' minds using your descriptions is amazing.❤️

Your "show, don't tell" skills in writing is very beautiful, very admirable, and it's also my most favorite part of your story. I love it very much, seriously. That skill is the one thing I lack that made me give up in being able to write something of my own.😌 I realized that when it comes to writing, there are so many factors to remember and consider in order to make it interesting and engaging for your readers. Worldbuilding, character development, pacing, to name a few. But the hardest for me to master is the one thing you're so amazingly good at. And I admire you for that. That's why whenever I come across a writer like you with such excellent "show, don't tell" skills, I always make sure to make my appreciation shown. ❤️

Another thing I love about your story is the OC.😭 God, I love her so much. She is everything I've wanted to see in a fic that involves the Bonten Executives. She's a badass, she's feisty, and she perfectly fits right in with the other characters. I could just cry with how perfect she is in my opinion and you made that happen.😭❤️ I'm very satisfied with her character and I want to thank you again because I just know that if I did followed up on my need to write my own fic despite my inexperience, I just know that I'll end up disappointing myself and possibly even hate the plot idea because I was not able to meet my own expectations so thank you, thank you, thank you.❤️

She is amazing. You are amazing. Your whole fic is super amazing. I am glad and relieved that I don't have to write my own because yours already exists and it's so perfect.🤧

A female Bonten Executive, and the only female one at that.🥺🤧😭 I am so incredibly happy that the idea is finally out there and someone finally wrote it and that someone is also such a good writer. 🙌🏼

Kudos to you and I hope I can do more than just read and then say thanks. I believe you deserve more than that because I've been looking for this exact content you made and I've been looking for days. And now that I found one, even just the one, I'm relieved because it's already perfect on its own.😌

It's possible that it would take a long time for other writers to write something like this: a female OC that involves the Bonten Executives, my favorite flavor.🤧 It makes me sad, but no matter. I don't mind if I have to reread Songs About Toxic People again and again and again like how Sanzu takes drugs I'M SORRY for a long while because it's enough to satisfy my hunger and my thirst for the time being.❤️

Wow. This got super long. My bad. 😅 I did not mean for this to happen. I hope you don't mind this long ass appreciation message. I love leaving this kind of messages to writers like you.😊

Anyways, yeah. I just came here to tell you that. I hope you're having an amazing day and that you're safe wherever you are. Please take care of yourself. I'm looking forward to more of your works and what you can come up with. I am super excited! 😁

Best of luck and God bless.

- ✨

helloooo :”( this one took me a quite a while to answer because i just couldn’t stop gushing whenever i’d open my inbox huhuhu but you have no idea how much this truly means to me and i wish i can write better words at explaining how this made me feel. <3

first of all, your obsession with the bonten executives is COMPLETELY understandable i’m literally on the same boat as you my friend hahaha with sanzu being my main guy <3 they’re just so hot and dangerous but i also think there’s something kinda funny with all those guys being together LMAO (especially sanzu and the haitanis…add in a dead-eyed manjiro omg..)

just like you i am quite sad about the lack of content on them hahahaha it’s the main reason why i started writing about them in the first place, actually! (also because i'm just obsessed with sanzu) but that was more at the beginning when i still mostly relied on ao3, and then i got more active on tumblr and now literally everyday there’s new fics about them and that makes me extremely happy 🥺 i always did think that the bonten executive OC would make for such a nice flavor so i just latched on to the idea, and i also wanted to keep it a little more casual because i’m not the best with dark themes hahaha but it also helps me imagine the bonten execs in friendlier, more human, more everyday settings—a very fun exercise when you can’t stop thinking about them!

i am beyond happy knowing that you’re enjoying my fic to the point of sending me this lengthy message (whose length i don’t mind at all!!!) 😭 painting a picture with words is one of my favorite things ever when it comes to writing and i just…tear up when people enjoy my descriptions and the interactions and the little details huhuhuhu you have no idea. i didn’t even know i was doing a ‘show, don’t tell’ manner of writing until you pointed it out, so i gotta thank you for this cause it made me think more about how i write (in a good way!), so thank you, i super appreciate it.

i also hope you do get to write if ever you wanna! manifest the things you’d like to see in the world—something like that! hahahaha but also yeah, it can be fun and the possibilities are endless and it’s fanfiction so you can always do you <3

again, this really just made my day and i’ve saved it to my notes to read for when i’m feeling meh hahaha. i gotta say in advance tho that my updates might not come as regularly as before cus (1) life and also (2) need ken wakui to reveal more about my favorite bad boy sanzu LOL so we get to know him better.

and here’s to hoping more people write about oc’s that are bonten execs! so you’d get to have your share of this genre of bonten fic! hehehe you deserve it <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH, i hope you’ll have a nice day too 🥺 and take caaaaare. MWAH.

ps. oh yes, you’re right! english is not my first language hahaha.

[yarart4ever]

PSA!

It’s a quite stupid topic and it shouldn’t be an issue but sadly it is.

Turns out... there is a toxic part of the TiPo fandom.

Ik, ik, you think it’s stupid and dw, can scroll if you want but it is really important because as a tipo shipper myself, I am really ashamed to be a part of that community.

I love these 2 together for many reasons! Too many reasons that it deserves to have their own post about it! I came to that fandom thinking it was wholesome and sweet and no one judged each other, but unfortunately that’s not always the case.

The thing is, I DO NOT care for who you ship, just because I prefer a specific ship does not mean you’re not allowed to like another ship. EVERYONE HAS THEIR OPINIONS! The point of shipping and being a part of fandoms is everyone is supposed to create and have fun with it. But one part of the tipo fandom is being a bit... excessive... like a friggen mafia! It’s because of this that I had to leave shipping fandoms like amedot, and Scorptra.

Now not ALL people in the tipo fandom are like this, I can name so many nice tipo shippers who are mature and understand people have opinions.

But there is a tiny part of the fandom that seems to act like assassins whenever someone would come out and say something like “I ship Po x mei-mei”

And another thing, why are people shitting on mei mei? Because she exists and ‘gets in the way of tipo being canon’ even tho it might not be canon any time soon? (Even though I wish that was the case 😭) listen, I really shouldn’t be pointing fingers and acusing others when I know full well that I have been guilty of this MANY times. I’ll be honest, I was like this in 2018, but that was when I was an immature kid. Now, I fully understand that people are allowed to speak their minds and talk about something as minor as a non-canon and/or canon pairing.

Like guys, ITS A SHIP from a CARTOON MOVIE about KUNG FU FIGHTING ANIMALS. Hell, the romance and lovey doves part are just minor parts of what makes the kfp franchise so great. And y’all are fr fighting, clawing, and straight up ATTACKING people on the internet just cuz someone prefers mei-mei marrying Po instead of tigress?

I really wish I shouldn’t be talking about this, because kfp is a great movie, Tipo (and all of the ships in the franchise) is a great pairing, and the Pandom is a great community. I don’t think I’ve been this involved and this deep and this HAPPY in a fandom since the my little pony fandom. And it hurts to see my smol pandom siblings fighting over a ship. I’m not gonna deny that I am over passionate about TiPo, nor am I gonna deny that I was an immature brat that was shitting on mei mei 2 years ago, but right now I am gonna acknowledge and hopefully educate others that a ship is a ship, canon or not, and a person is a person.

👏🏾 stop 👏🏾 hating 👏🏾 on 👏🏾 others 👏🏾 who 👏🏾 don’t 👏🏾 ship 👏🏾 what 👏🏾 you 👏🏾 ship! It’s not that hard! If you don’t like a ship, fine then, just ignore it and go do something else. Why waste your time ranting and hating on others that don’t like what you like when you could just leave it alone, carry on with your life and do something you actually enjoy! You benefit from that!

Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna draw and pretend I’m doing online school while actually reading fan fiction. UwU I hope I made this message clear to my pandom fam. I love you all, peace! ❤️✌🏾

[onereallygoodlambonastick]

1, 2, 7, 8, 9 and 10 please

finally some good fucking food, thanks anon;

1. What themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

Generally speaking, I think the in-betweens, the casual time-skips, and the quick intermissions are the things that get glossed over the most. The “missing scenes”, if you will--the hours after a squabble between a team, the morning before the battle, the months where a child sat idle, the dreams that turned into prophecy. 

I also think the theme of re-connection is not often explored--its always “love on first sight” kind of deal, but what about the enduring kind of love, the kind that stays like an ache in your bones? the one you remember and miss? the one you long for like a phantom limb?

2. What are some common elements of stories you are tired of seeing? What would you avoid writing about? 

This varies wildly between fandoms, but probably the thing they all have in common is: mindless smut. Just straight up down and dirty fucking, with no motive or prompting or characterization. Just the author smashing two guys (usually) at the hips and being done with it. 

That’s fine; we all love to see it. It’s just so dull sometimes. 

I need some intricacy, some intimacy, some ache, some angst, some destructive lines and some ruthless gut-punches, you know? Not a guy coming for the fifth time. 

For the AFTG fandom: I’m tired of seeing people being fine with the way Sakavic treated her characters and coddling Neil & Andrew in the face of it. I don’t hate Andreil, I feel like I should say, but so much of it relies on one or the other sticking people with their knives or fists and that’s such a toxic love, a misconception of what a “good” relationship should be. Now, there are some brilliant fics I’ve read that are just gorgeous with the concept of Andreil--that was what I wished Sakavic had the ability to achieve in her series, while giving dignity to Kevin Day and the rest of the characters that were there and LIVED despite the romance. 

So, obviously, I would avoid doing any of the above I just mentioned, and pray that you will too. Just let these ppl breathe, alright?

For the AoT fandom (yeah i dabbled cuz the manga is just. depressing man): same issue---too much fucking, not enough talking and emoting. Why are there so many goddamned high school AUs? My god. I need a fic that gets down and dirty with the shit going down in the manga and take me through it so I can stand to continue. What about the grief and mourning and the betrayal of it all? Can I get me some of that? Lord, don’t go near the Levi/Eren tag. Y’all just don’t even knock it. Go to Levi/Erwin or something. Or just don’t. Don’t.

For the BNHA fandom (lol. a staple): actually, there’s quite a bit of diversity here so I geniunely can’t complain about much. The sheer magnitude of the English-speaking fandom helps on that end, I suppose. I do think there should be more fics looking at the Shit n Grit of Hero’s society tho, Stain-style. The people the heroes couldn’t save or didn’t want to, the forgotten bodies and the cooling hands, the victims that never got closure, the heroes who got maimed and multilated and couldn’t get back on their feet once the limelight left em. Those sorts of things. I think the fact we see thru the rosy-eyed worldviews of a bunch of green-eared kids deludes people to the fact that People Are Fucking Bad and Disgusting almost all the time. So exploring that, I think, is far more worthwhile. 

But I will also take injury aftermath. I’m not a monster.

For the KNY fandom: EYYY we talk about grief and suffering a lot which if you haven’t noticed, is kind of my Jam! Actually, this fandom prob hits a lot of my sweet spots: role reversals, grief/mourning aftermath, SabiGiyuu, Sabito Lives, the usual! Can’t really say much abt this. Except, there’s a lot of Demon Sex and Rape and, uh. Guys? Can we go back for a hot sec?

For the Code Geass fandom (*rubs hands in glee*): SO this is the fandom I’m most active in aside from AFTG at this precise moment. It’s pretty dead, tbh. My favorite two fics in the AO3 archive was published in 2014 and the author hasn’t written for my fav pairing (Suzaku/Lelouch) since. So. There’s that. There’s also a lot of fucking here! And gross cishet dynamics, but, uh, whatever. I think the Emperor Lelouch/Knight of Zero Suzaku has been overused and abused for rough sex and just general Angst-ing it out. I wanna see how their dynamic plays out like that for sure, but what about when they still had secrets between them a mile wide and had to tell each other half-lies and half-truths? How about them coping with the fact of their betrayals and the death of their loved ones at the hands of each other? Where’s the hardcore shit? 

Think this fandom doesn’t want to dig their fingers in too deep. Shame. 

Another thing: CC is not an immortal seductress. My god give her pizza and some fucking DEPTH. She’s a walking encyclopedia, not some mysterious slut machine! Get your stereotypes and fetishes outta here!

Final thing: TALK ABOUT THE SHIT SUZAKU HAS BEEN THROUGH! He’s not just Lelouch’s boytoy or knight! Stop that! Examine his abuse, his time with the military, his span as a pawn! Look at his motivations and his internalized disgust for himself as a Japanese that was ingrained in him by an oppressive fucking system! Why does he bow? Why is he silent? Speak for him!

7. Favorite description in your wip? (If asked more than once, respond with a new piece each time)

Suzaku watched him watch the discoloring, and Suzaku watched the stillness change into the bare bones of animosity. It was almost kind, the way Lelouch turned his face away and shifted his grip to snatch up the antiseptic.

Neither of them spoke as sharp hands dabbed at the slightly split skin and wet bruising. It stung, but only a little. Long minutes passed like this, Lelouch exchanging swabs for cloths, Suzaku sitting still and watching him work.

Neither of them mentioned the scatter of old deadened skin, puckered across Suzaku’s build like a migration of mutilated fish.

8. Favorite dialogue in your wip? (If asked more than once, respond with a new piece each time)

"You know I can't be seen with you two."

"And I just warned you to not be a coward." Lelouch's eyes gleamed. Again, the challenge was there, and like a fool only Lellouch could make of him, Suzaku took it, open-mouthed and open-palmed.

"Fine," Suzaku said, not knowing what he'd promised himself to: a dinner or a duel. Even though the last time Lelouch picked up a sword it was wooden and he was tiny and cute and clumsy. But Lelouch didn’t need blades to cut. "I'll be there. Does Nunnally still enjoy a good scone?"

"Bring the blueberry ones," Lelouch said, extending the comment like a plank between them, and leapt off the wall, into the white sun. "One for the bastardly son and one for the disowned daughter."

Suzaku followed him out into the blaze of heat, feeling the crude perch of his laughter at the base of his throat. He was so fucking dramatic. "Which one of us do you mean?"

9. What scene was the hardest to write for you and why?

From the same wip fic from above--I’m stuck on the “light” kind-of crackish scene where Suzaku is literally just exasperated with Rivalz and his porn mags. Like I just can’t write it. It’s too.....friendly. And “nice”.

10. What scene was the most fun to write for you and why?

Out of the same fic as above: probably the scene from #8. It was fun to see how coy and rough-mouthed Suzaku could get once he’s together with Lelouch. Just to see them fool around with each other whilst keeping secrets but also somehow be honest was very satisfying and interesting to write out. They are just boys, there. Just boys. In love.

[moogiwarah]

🐓

Hi! I want to have comprehensive list of the BL manga/manhwa etc. that I’ve read because I want to spread the love for this genre 💜.  This post is a list of works that I’ve read which is not in this page yet + my comments on each work. I hope some people will find something that they like here ^__^

🐣 All BL recs from me 

manhwa  🐓

💜 Never Understand

Yuri, one of the school's most handsome guys,and Jaerim, one of the school's ugliest, collide!...or don't they? Can't understand what's going on between these two! It's Out of Control! 

shounen-ai, completed, 87 chapters

THE STORY IS SOOOO GOOD. The art also improved by a lot upon reaching the later chapters. Jae-rim is dubbed as “ugly” (he’s a whole cutie tho) and I’m glad to see a non conventional character design for an MC! I highly recommend reading this!!  👌💯

Incorrigible 

A sequel to “Never Understand” which is focused on Cho Ayeon’s story after being free from Soyeon’s control.

yaoi, completed, 8 chapters

This has few chapters so maybe that explains the fast pacing. Nonetheless, it was a nice read, I have a really soft spot for Jae-rim so seeing his r-18 experiences with Yuri really got me ahkdjashdkajshd ;W;

💜 Dirty Vibrations

Best friends Yeong and Nohae thought it was a joke when they downloaded the infamous “cursed” app. It’s said to command the user to perform…sexual acts and punishes those who disobey or delete it. It started with making them kiss. When they disobeyed its order…the punishment was anything but a joke. 

yaoi, ongoing

This one is from Fujoking (author of Youjin)! In all honesty, I love this for its sex scenes. They are so well made, the art, the dialogue, the expressions, and just *chef’s kiss* 👌. When it comes to expressing sexual scenes in BL, my top authors would have to be Fujoking for manhwa and Zaria for manga.

💜 Paid

Executive director Heejae is nicknamed "Chaebol Prince" by the public. But his life is turned upside down when documents linking him to an embezzlement scheme are unexpectedly found by an accounting collegian Taekyung! So he pretends to have a crush on him, but.. Taekyung wants more than just flirting! 

yaoi, ongoing

This is another one from Fujoking! This has a heavier plot as compared to Dirty Vibrations, so you get amazing smut AND an engaging story! 

💜 On or Off

Yiyoung is building a startup with his college friends. They get a chance to present their proposal to SJ Corporation, one of the leading companies in the country. But in the meeting room he sees Kang Daehyung, the extremely handsome company big shot that's so very much his type, and Yiyoung's heart starts to race...! Can pretty-faced Yiyoung win both in love and his career? 

yaoi, ongoing

Okay this! It’s really funny and the pacing is nice and the characters are nice and the art is nice and the perfect mix of romance comedy and slice of life i just HUHDADKAJDHJK it’s rly a feel good read and both MCs are SO ATTRACTIVE.

Penthouse XXX

Siyeon, a contract killer, has declared a boycott on men after being screwed over by his ex. That is, until he moves into a penthouse owned by Taekyung, a rich heir with killer looks.

yaoi, completed, 49 chapters

It has meme worthy illustrations xD. The graphics are nice but I found Taekyung (one of the MCs) to be a little toxic. Also, some parts of the story were not wrapped up/discussed enough imo. But overall, it was a pleasant read.

Home Sweet Home

The last thing Jungyeon expected was for his mom to ask if she could remarry. The new man was kind, considerate, a perfect match for his mother but there’s a catch: he has a younger son. Sunwoo is an introvert. He’s shy and has trouble opening up to others, until he meets Jungyeon and finds himself opening up for the first time. As their parents get closer to marrying, they become close, too close, and that’s when Sunwoo learns Jungyeon is already seeing another man.

yaoi, completed, 57 chapters

I honestly don’t know why this has quite a low rating on mangago because I found it to be a good read! It’s like sitting through a romance-drama movie. I liked the ending and the relationship between the main couple.

K’s Secret

Employee Kim Doyoon has been working for 5 years. He has one secret that he can't tell anyone else - the fact that he's a half-vampire born between a human and a vampire.

yaoi, ongoing

The art is so good in the recent chapters ugh. Also the sex scenes are well made. The plot is a little unclear though, and I feel like the relationship of the two MCs are kinda forced and unnatural hahaskdhakjdh. Still reading it tho since it’s ongoing.

💜 I have a Boyfriend

Kang Hyeon Ho, who belongs in the university soccer team goes into a breadth class and encounters the person he went to middle school together with and was his first love, Han Gyeol. 

yaoi, completed, 44 chapters

THIS IS BASICALLY COLLEGE AU ROM COM ADDITIONAL TAG: FIRST LOVE AND IT’S AMAZING. Just a really well rounded story with the right amount of drama to bring out its slice of life  😭💘 Also, this is tagged as yaoi but the sex scenes were few and not that explicit.

💜 Voice of Love

After experiencing a traumatic incident involving a previous lover, Jiho is too afraid to tell his classmate Soohan that he likes him. Thankfully, Soohan can hear otherpeople's thoughts and asks him out first. But, as we all know, love isn't always that easy. Will Jiho and Soohan really get their happily ever after?

shounen-ai, completed, 37 chapters

Just a really cute story about mind reading and high school boys being in love. Ah, youth. This will make you feel good like ,,, awww young love :( <3

Base to Base

The elite Sung Moon High is fields one the country's top 5 high school baseball teams. Kim Soohyun was the ace pitcher of his middle school now started his first year at Moon high baseball team...since his beloved sunbae Choi Woojin(captain/catcher) is there....Kim Soohyun is an cutie puppy with stalker tendency exclusive for his beloved sunbae. 

shounen-ai, completed, 28 chapters

Sports manga/anime always had a little (or lots) of gay, well this one made it officially gay! A cute rom-com bUT I feel like the ending was rushed. I would have loved it if there was more, but nonetheless, a good read! :)

manga  🐓

💜 I Seriously Can’t Believe You  

"I don't think you've realized your true nature yet." That's what Kon tells Iida, the hottest guy at school, wondering how anyone could be so proper. As popular as he is, Iida doesn't seem interested in any of the girls who come after him. Kon and his buddies try to look into the matter by flipping a coin and having Kon approach him with his confession of love, just to see if he's really interested in guys. "I've... never looked at guys like that..." says Iida, falling for Kon's ruse. Kon takes him home, hoping to straighten out the misunderstanding, when Iida suddenly grabs him by the shoulder, and... A story about a mysterious hottie at school and a prince of a certain kind. 

yaoi, completed, 5 chapters

THIS IS FUNNY AND CUTE AND HOT AND SHORT BUT REALLY GOOD JUST READ IT YOU WONT REGRET IT!

💜 Yoru to Asa no Uta 

(Chapter 0) ; (Sequel)

Asaichi can't play any instruments, his voice is average, and he's only in the band for the girls and the sex. Plus, he's homophobic. For some reason, the new bassist is infatuated with him despite the treatment Asaichi gives him.

yaoi, completed, 1 + 8 + 8  = 16 chapters

It’s by Harada (author of ‘Yatamomo’ and ‘Color Recipe’) so expect dark themes. Trigger warning for rape. I suggest you skip the rape if you can’t handle it because this manga is so good. Its art and story (much like Harada’s other works) will really suck you in. This left a deep impression on me because the characters felt so alive. I respect Harada so much for that ability.

💜 Eigyou Nika!

Sakisaka, stationed in the second Sales Division, has an unrequited love for Toujou, his directing senpai. He had no intention of confessing his feelings. However, Toujou has been awfully touchy-feely lately… Is there a glimmer of hope? Please don’t let it be a misunderstanding! Which path will these vexing feelings flow down to?

yaoi, completed, 10 chapters

I had fun reading this because it’s so fluffy!! aaaAAAA I love friends to lovers and cuddling and the sweetness that comes from a relationship that is a more than friendship but less than lovers. A lighthearted read <3

💜 Mou Ichido, Nando Demo

On his way home from picking up a rings for himself and his lover, Fuji Takahiro is hit by a car. His resulting amnesia degrades his live-in lover Kotou Tarou to a mere flatmate, and a series of misunderstandings threatens to tear the couple apart. Tossed around by desperation and confusion, can Tarou and Takahiro rebuild their once blissful relationship? 

yaoi, completed, 11 chapters

This is like watching a really good mature drama. The characters feel real and the situations presented in the manga were also something one can easily imagine themselves being put into. A short and good read.

💜Ookami-kun wa Kowakunai

The world is filled with animals that can evolve into beastmen. There is a young and earnest wolf who was always mistaken for a showy person because of his flashy looks. The easily mistaken wolf has fallen for an attractive looking rabbit named Usami, who is cautious of carnivores.

yaoi, completed, 6 chapters

I mEAN,,, LOOK AT THEM!!! This is wholesome and very fluffy huhuhuhu no more words needed. A short and cute read! <3

💜Ookami He No Yomeiri

Kaede is a rabbit person chosen to be the 'bride' of a distinguished wolf family. Although he does not wish to marry a wolf, his family pleads for him to go so that they can have enough supplies to last for the next two years. However, how will his new husband act towards a little bunny rabbit stuck in the wolf's den?

yaoi, completed, 8 chapters

The art is good and the story is cute :((( They’re so cute aaaa I’m a sucker for grumpy looking x ray of sunshine it’s just uGH the contrast never gets old.

💜 Encirclement Love

Ryou had a sleepover and saw his friends - Issei and Tadahiro - kissing while they thought he was asleep. He asks them about it and feels betrayed as a childhood friend when they pretend nothing happened. Determined to catch them red-handed, Ryou ends up inside a closet with Issei's little brother - Yuusei -, who has a unexpected reaction to the situation.

yaoi, completed, 6 chapters

It’s basically four high school boys being horny. All four of them are friends and I find their dynamics really funny. Also, they’re all hOT 🥵 I had lots of fun reading this!

Mother’s Spirit

University employee Ryouichirou is ordered by the Chairman to take in an exchange student. That exchange student, Qaltaqa, is a native from a developing country who can't understand Japanese!! Though he is a warrior of his tribe and a man of great beauty, seeing him afraid of the phone and the TV, and even the toilet, Ryouichirou gets fed up… But while being called "Ryouichirou" in such a clumsy manner, he has a change of heart!?

yaoi, completed, 13 chapters

This is funny and interesting! A short read to boost your mood and get your yaoi fix ;D

Dakaretai Otoko Ichii Ni Odosarete Imasu 

Saijou Takato's 5 year reign as the "Most Huggable No. 1" has been snatched. Stealing his thunder is the newbie actor with a 3-year debut, Azumaya! Towards the stuffy hostile Takato, Azumaya's sincere sparkling smile starts to become effective. Even as Takato sets his alert level on MAX, Azumaya catches Takato in his shameful drunken state and uses it to blackmail him! In exchange for Azumaya's silence, Azumaya states, "Please let me hold you"'?! "Embrace me, who was the Most Huggable No.1? What the heck is he saying!" 

yaoi, ongoing

I remember dropping this because MC was obviously raped, but upon watching the first episode of the anime adaptation, they made the sex consensual (thank God) and the story is not so bad after all. I suggest skipping the first chapter altogether and just start off at episode 1 in the anime, then you can pick it up in the manga to see the explicit scenes xD

That’s it for now! Will continue updating in this tumblr acc. as I continue on reading more BL ehe. Hmu on my twt if u wanna talk about BL and/or anime and manga in general hehe. Love lots~ 💜🐓

[1-800-i-ship-it]

Hi! 2, 13, 17, 18, 20 for end of year asks? ☺️

Thanks for the ask dim! apologies for taking a while to get to it haha 

2. best moment of the year?

damn i really have no idea tbh? i think when i received the notif that i got into the college im going to right now perhaps, i still remember unsuccessfully  logging in like10 times before getting it bc i was on my phone and didnt have my pw saved haha since it was in the morning 

13. best movie of the year?

owo i legit barely watched any movies this year...did i even watch one? hm yea i honestly dunno dim im sorry about that (do u have any recs tho? if so pls send me some!)

17. what are some hobbies that you developed?

tumblr-ing haha and i started to try my hand at writing! also a little bit of baking, which is fun; also sleeping at 4 am rip xD

18. what surprised you the most this year?

that i made online friends! i never expected to cause it alway seemed like such a foreign concept, but yeah honestly im really thankful for all my pocket friendos including u :D 

20. how did this year treat you in general?

some parts were shitty, some parts werent, i think this year has definitely helped me grow as a person a lot though even though it was hard at times, and im happy about that! i also unlearned a lot of things i previously didnt know, and im glad im more aware of things now than i was previously; all this might not have happened bc of quarantine honestly so i try to look on the good side of things, that i have the choice of staying home 

ended up rambling a crapload so the rest is under the cut:

i ended up having to quit swimming which i think was once something i thoroughly enjoyed but then became like a burden of a commitment and something that was just...toxic to my mental well being i think so while i was sad i did it im kind of glad i did? and for a while i hated myself for having injuries that slowed me down and couldn’t be diagnosed with like something specific or whatever, it was just like shoulder and forearm pain/inflammation  and i just wished the pain would go away so i could get back in shape and not always have to do modified sets kicking with fins instead of swimming but yeah, i still havent really come to terms with stuff ig but im working on doing so and telling myself that quitting isnt always bad and “giving up” which i used to have the misconception of 

i also had a few existential crises about how i wouldnt see classmates at school anymore or whatnot or that i wouldnt be able to keep in contact with friends, but i think i have come to terms with like that i cant control everything anyway and what happens will happen; i will put in the effort to maintain connections but if its not being reciprocated i’ll accept that i have to let some people go :’) and appreciate the ones that are here! (this is just in general, like i understand if its difficult to communicate/reply for some people, especially with quarantine taking a toll on mental health so like i will understand but like just if its blatantly obvious or smth or like, i can typically tell anyway the difference) 

so yeah that was so long haha rip thank u for reading through it! and its always lovely to see u in my inbox dim :D 

[mayalevesque]

{ sky ferreira ♔ twenty-four ♔ she/her } well, well, well if it isn’t maya levesque running around peach hollow. legend has it, they come from blueberry boulevard and have lived here for four years. if you’re wondering what they’ve been up to, i hear they’re a baker at get baked for a living. they have been known to be condescending yet charming. a word of advice to them, always look over your shoulder. you never know who is watching. 

(hi!! i’m bella :) i haven’t participated in an rp for a hot minute so i am still kinda re-learning some things etc., but overall i am super excited! with that being said, maya is a fairly new muse for me. the last time i used to rp, i always played the easygoing, sweet character. maya, however, is not quite as easygoing or sweet, so she is very different for me! she’s a tough girl, but she is sensitive and has a big heart. there is nothing i want more than to plot with you! i am literally down for practically anything. anyway, here is her intro + some wanted connections. thank u for reading <3) 

her birthday is september 10th, 1995

she grew up in santa cruz, california

maya’s parents were artists, but they were not at all successful. because of this, money was tight. her parents often “borrowed” money from other relatives

speaking of her parents, the two were both addicted to drugs and did not treat maya well to say the absolute least. in fact, they didn’t treat each other well either. they broke up at least a dozen times during her adolescence

in high school, maya struggled with her grades + did not participate in any extracurricular activities (although she enjoyed playing the guitar)

she never really had a close group of friends because she was scared of getting attached to anybody

she has never been in a **real** relationship either. she has slept with her fair share, but she never let herself get too close to any of them

she is a bisexual queen

if u have not noticed she kinda has a “trust no one” attitude lmao

she dropped out of high school with only six months left before graduation because she felt that school just wasn’t for her (she lowkey regrets it now but it’ll take a lot for her to admit to it because she stubborn as hell)

got her first job when she was fourteen, worked as a cashier at a touristy ice cream shop

she began working her second job at age eighteen. the work paid so well that she didn’t even need her first job anymore... she quit her second job only months after being hired, but she still added a shit ton of cash to her savings because of it

on a whim, maya used all of her savings to move far away from her toxic home to start all over. and here she is!!

maya thought that things would be different when she moved away, but they weren’t. she still had to deal with her trauma and her trust issues. to this day, it is still not an easy task to get close to maya

she puts up a somewhat mean front so people don’t try too hard to get to know her, but in reality she is very soft and caring<333

she has recently begun going to therapy because she knew that she couldn’t carry her burden any longer, and she knew that she needed help

works at get baked as a baker 

wanted connections:

roommate(s): a few roommates sounds so fun!! it would make sense too bc maya spent most of her savings moving to peach hollow and it would be realistic for her to have to split the rent. angst + tension? or a best friendship waiting to happen? plus adding the roommates factor into it? genius. also im likely going to make a pinterest for maya too so a collaborative bedroom pinterest board >>>>>

friendships: maya doesn’t make friends easily, but after four years of living in peach hollow, she is bound to make a few! they may not know everything about her tho, but she may feel inclined enough to enlighten them someday

someone who pushes her to get her mf GED: self explanatory basically! this would be a rocky relationship bc maya would def tell them to mind their own business etc. but only because she doesn’t wanna accept the fact that she’s unhappy, and getting her GED could help her in the longrun (mercy)

lover(s) and/or ex fling(s): people she has slept with or maybe even got attached to/loved but is afraid to admit. could be ongoing or something that happened in the past! we love the angsty/crying gifs don’t we??

The One She Falls In Love With: lmaoo this can be reciprocated or unreciprocated. either one will bring so much tension and drama and goooodddd i love the drama so either way it would be a Dream. help her trust people! or break her heart! or both??? the possibilities are endless

ex-friends/frenemies: maya can piss people off easily so if u feel your character and maya’s don’t mesh well, may i recommend a frenemy plot? i luv those..im also a sucker for rekindling friendships and frenemies to bff tropes so its perfect

regular customers: this sounds p standard but here’s a Twist: it would be cool if maya could like..talk to a drunk/high customer and the two end up oversharing things about themselves and then it becomes a whole big Thing the next time the customer comes back sober ya know?? then from there the plot ideas are literally limitless period. idk its 3 am what im writing no longer makes sense so i will end this here lol

NOTE: u can dm me on discord to plot but i most likely will get back to you faster on tumblr messages. i do not mind either though, just letting yall know! :) thanks again for reading!! (also one last note + fair warning i SUCK at starters. wish me luck :*)

[teenagebeautyqueen]

[Image description: a young person holds a mobile phone with a blue case and a paper on the other. the paper has a drawing of an umbrella colored with the trans pride flag. we can only see their upper body. they are looking down and to the left of the image. they're smiling without showing their teeth, and look relaxed. they're wearing a black, loose hoodie and some shorts can be seen at the bottom of the picture. they're also using black nail polish. on the background there is a door and a star wars poster. the other image is a close up of the paper. end ID]

🌈ʜᴇ/ᴛʜᴇʏ🌈

happy trans day of visability to all my fellow trans*!! here is me and my project for peace's day... i personally love it. it's on spanish, but i'll translate it for y'all.

the text on the left says "cada persona que conoces está luchando una batalla de la que no sabes nada. sé amable. siempre", which is the translation of that quote that goes like "every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. be kind. always".

the one on the right says "¿qué sentido hay en pelear? ¿por qué insistimos en sabotearnos mutuamente? Todos caminamos por el mismo sendero embarrado, todos nos dirigimos al mismo final." its translation is something like "what's the point on fighting? why do we insist on sabotage each other? we all walk the same muddy path, we are all headed for the same end."

and above the umbrella there's words like "odio", "acoso", "ignorancia" & "discriminación", which mean "hatred", "harassment", "ignorance", and "discrimination".

yeah i'm very subtle.

i've decided to share my story with the world. but i got kinda carried away. it's not s fairy tale, so don't read it if you're sensitive to themes like bullying, mental health issues, and toxic people.

——————————————————————

it's been... one ride of a journey, to say the least. i've said a few times that i started to question my gender around summer. but that's not quite true.

growing up, i never was fond of... anything that i associated with femenine, really. this included, but wasn't limited to, any color that wasn't blue (pink and purple get a special mention, i despised them), flowers, clothes too loose or too tight, shorts if they weren't from some sport, etc. i think you get the idea.

this collided with me being afab (aka a girl for everyone including myself) & neurodivergent. i wanted nothing to do with those things. but society wanted me to love them.

5 yo me said she didn't like Monster High. 5 yo female classmate said i was a weirdo. 7 yo me loved football. 7 yo male classmate said i couldn't play because i was a girl. 9 yo me hyperfixated on minecraft. 9 yo pretty much every classmate called me a geek.

so i stoped trying. for a while, i loved pink, wanted to have rapunzel's hair, watched disney channel, etc. but i already was the weirdo. i remember being three and friends with all of them. i remember playful fights for the toy rocket and reading books with the only other boy who could read, to ourselves, each other, and the whole class. but people grow up, and they change. so yeah, i was bullied. always the last one to be chosen, left alone on the bus rides, on my own at the playground.

and you'll be thinking "that sucks, but pao, how is it related to you being trans?"

you'll see, i didn't have many friends. i was kinda alone until i turned 7. then two new kids came to my class. let's call them eva and john. i made friends with them asap. i loved them so much!! they were my first friends since kindergarden. so i allowed myself to let go. i was already hated by most of my peers. why wouldn't i be myself with those who didn't despise me? (i was 7 when i thought this. 7 years old, and i thought that out of 20 people, 18 hated me. and then people wonder why i've got self-steem issues lmao. i'm tryna make the point that bullying in primary school isn't just some mean kids calling you names. i'm currently in high school and it still has its mark on me. but that's for another moment.)

so yeah. i went "wild". eva has adhd too (noice, right? i mean she has her diagnosis becaise she's primarly hyperactive, while i'm primarly inattentive, but we understood each other way quickier than with neurotypicals– even if i didn't know why yet), and john was kinda shy & corpulent (he wasn't fat, but he didn't look slim either), just like me. so we became friends. and i slowly opened up a little, while still playing my role of "the freak kid". i knew i was seen as that AND as the smart kid. double pressure, double bullying. but i had my small circle. it evolved until my current friend group, in which, god bless, there's a trans girl!! (eva's still on it– she's my best friend and i would die for her, no doubts. john can go fuck himself, the goddamned fascist).

but it ain't that easy. it never is. i'm 14 and afab. shit happens. y'all get it.

my first period happened while i was on a school trip (bad), on a hotel with no pads avaliable (very bad), on another country so i couldn't call my mum unless i had wifi because politics & stuff– and i did not have wifi (really bad). cue a lot of dysphoria (even if i didn't know it was that) + not being able to contact anyone. add the fact that i was the second one to have it, and it was some kind of taboo– it meant the other girls wouldn't leave me alone, and the result is clear: one of my worst panic attacks ever, on a tiny bathroom of some shitty hotel room.

from there it went downhill. my body started to become femenine, and the football short didn't make my hips smaller. my face, my oh so alarged face, suddenly became rounder. puberty hit me not only physically, but emotionally. and if that wasn't enough, we, as a class, were entering what's called here "the turkey age", a.k.a. teenagerhood, where looks become even more important. it didn't take long until i hated my body.

[WARNING: from here, this gets hard. mentions of eating disorders, depressive episodes/thoughts, toxic enviroments, homophobia/transphobia (both internalized and external), anxiety attacks, and thoughts of self-harm]

i thought "it's big, it shouldn't be big, it's fat. besides i don't want it to grow so fast. i want to make it stop growing. how? well, i grow up by eating. no eating=no growing".

yeah. eating disorder. when i think about it, i want to laugh. because it only took a few comments and "jokes" for me to be so angry at myself when i should be mad with them. i'm big. always have been, very likely always will. i've been told that i could make a very good rugby player. i probably would. i shared my cantine table with people (😔). and they wouldn't shut up. "[deadname], the rest wants to eat too!", "look at [deadname], she's gonna eat it all!". things like that. i stoped eating. i would pick up the smallest amount of food i could, even if my stomach was begging me to please eat something. eventually, my mum found out. and she helped me to grow out of it. i sometimes releapse, but never for that long. because i went on a whole year like that. and it sucked.

so, last year. socially anxious neurodivergent girl with several doubts on her sexuality gets to eight grade.

i play basketball. since i was little. i used to enjoy it a lot. we weren't a team– we were a family. loved 'em so much, 1000/10 one of the best things of my life. BOOM. now you're old enough & good enough to be on the "good" team. in the good time there's the cool kids. i am not a cool kid. oops. i was left behind, they all laughed at my back, no one cared about me (except one girl, but she was in the group and was scared to act until almost the end of the year. love her for that tho). i felt like shit. i was too scared to go to train. the sight of a ball scared me, because i couldn't help but think everyone was talking shit about me. we went to a national championship and when they went out to the city, they didn't tell me, then sent a pic of them having fun to the groupchat & delated it saying "oops it was for the other group". i had several breakdowns on my room that night. it was such a bad experience i can't even hear the name of the city without tearing up.

not to count that a new girl decided to make my life a living hell. now i know how to deal with her, but then i didn't, and i ended up curled up on the bathroom floor crying.

all while i discovered my own identity. i was so scared of being non-straight i hated myself for it.

it was a tough year and there were times where i would wish i'd never existed. it was too much for me to deal with, and i was just miserable. but i got out of it. remember the trans girl i mentioned? she's closeted, and she told me just this october. but even before that, she was my friend. she bought a new life to it all, a fresh one. i owe her a lot, including accepting myself as i am.

she is here, despite everything.

i am here, despite everything.

you are all here, despite everything.

some of us aren't here. they are the ones we remember. each one of us has our history. i shared mine with you all. it is not an easy road. you know that. it's hard, and it's tough, and it's difficult, and it's unfair.

but we are here, despite everything. the ones who made it, the ones who didn't, the ones who are halfway through it, and the ones who are to come.

we are here. we are trans. and we won't be erased.

[lunartearrose]

Because i can't decide on what else to do: headcanons

Some assassination classroom headcanons about Gakushu, Karma, and Nagisa within the seven year gap. Or it all can be taken as just in general stuff because heck, it probably counts for other parts of their lives. Here we go!

For Gakushu:

-got addicted to coffee and now constantly has a mug of the stuff with him. He's got different mugs to keep variety.

-his highest amount of coffee cups per day is 15. But thats just on record its no quota

-rarely ever sleeps unless someone knocks him out or he has a sort of crash

-everyone refers to him as Asano, even himself. One could say he's kind of having issues with a problem of being unable to separate his own identity from his fam, but if you throw this in his face he'll deny it and be extremely conscious about it for a while.

-morning involve him getting out of bed, having a bagel or something and lying to his dad's face about getting enough sleep. Lets all face it: they both lie to eachother about sleep and just kind of keep it that way, neither wanting to bother to fix their issues enough to validly bring up the other's

-gakushu, if ever involved in a scheme where nagisa would usually be put in the dress, openly volunteer to both spare the boy and reason it as upstaging, specifically because either karma or rio said "nobody does it better than nagisa". He does it better because he's actually confident with the look, and nagisa was pretty grateful.

-he still group texts his big 5 pals

-can imitate voices crazily easily

-nagisa is helpful for asano. He helps him figure out his feelings and maybe reveals what emotions he tries to cover up.

-he at some point wonders how he would look with long hair and one summer, against his father's wishes, Gakushu grew it out. And due to his superhuman devil fam genes, it grew out pretty quick and shocked his class

-actually pretty impulsive when it comes down to things. Things got a little ugly when he tried to quit his addiction, and so karma had to be summoned to stop gakushu from, well, drinking pure caffiene he extracted from basically sciencing a bunch of coffee.

-expert at other people, fool when it comes to himself

-has heard stories and hates nagisa's mom. Zero trust

-supports nagisa and karma in things, tho usually subtly

Alright! On to Karma:

-prankster that can't resist doing what he thinks is funny, especially if it involves Asano

-tries to remember to call Asano by his first name as much as humanly possible. Though Gakushu is longer saying wise, its the guy's name.

-texting nagisa at any opportunity

-adores guys, adores guys in dresses, and just. Yeah he's gay keep scrolling

-visits good old E class to pick the lock and hang out in the empty rooms. Keeping desks clean, doodling on the chalkboard, all sorts of that stuff. He doesn't admit it, but he sometimes cries soley because he misses people

-karma is really emotional but does a good job at surpressing this when he needs to and generally acting chill all the time

-would throw hands with any enemy if they return, especially takaoka the friggin bastard

-and yes, be will put his pals in dresses. Anything that looks nice, yes

-catch him off guard and he still gets that full face blush

-throw hands with him he dares you

-if its a fun impulse he will let gakushu do it, and in fact, encourage it

-visits the guy through his lil balcony. Wants to visit nagisa but nagisa is far away and it makes him kinda sad

-apprehensive and embarassed at first, but yes, he shall dawn the dress one time. Gakushu and nagisa have bunches of pictures. The tables have been turned

-finds it fun when people get passionate over things - this is why he likes to fight gakushu in academics and the occasional spar if the guy wants.

-will call u cute in that certain tone he uses for people

-supports nagisa's haircut. Like hell yes!!! Nagisa is being himself!!!!

Now, finallyy, Nagisa:

-really just polishing his already perfect assassin skills

-paints his nails so they look shiny like snake scales, like that metallic green that shines to blue to purple in certain lights. Who said nail paint had to be a girly thing? Especially when it looks so cool

-still working on getting his mom to leave him alone and undo some of the damage she's left him with. Also uses his knowledge on how to cope to help Gakushu get past his sleeping habits and air out the bits of toxicity that remain between him and his father. Remember, if you get more sleep than your jerky father, you're better than him and winning

-will decline crossdress requests until further notice. He wants to be comfy with his own body and until he can get himself away from the thoughts of his past with his crappy mom that still bother him, no skirts.

-goes to therapy because he wants to get better and get past feelings he has trouble with letting go

-the afformentioned boys love his spooky faces and smiles

-will give a cheek smooch to close pals if they ask him. Cheek smooch is platonic in his eyes usually!

-he and kayano are gossip buds and often talk over feelings. She supports him and he does his best to do the same

-he wants to visit karma but... there is so much schoolwork.... hfkjgh

-also! Deathly afraid of growing apart from his friends, esp. Karma

- "asano please for the love of god take the dresses mom keeps sending me i dont want them burn them"

-if takaoka ever became a problem again things would probably escalate to bloodshed this time

-he is still the best assassin and can definitely sneak into wherever his classmates or even where asano starts work to visit them

-will give other pals nails the snake gradient paint job. Karma's will have a firey scale look and asano gets a cool purple to lightish red

-suggested the new hairdo karma has

-rlly honestly just cool and love his friends and supports them

Thats all i can think of for the moment! Hope y'all enjoy these. Ive been writing a fic featuring some of these so i hope you enjoy these until im finished w that💖

[burclay]

Time, Space, and Texting: Chapter 2

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: THIS IS A SPACESHIP

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: WE’RE FOUR DAYS’ TRAVEL FROM THE TARDIS 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: On the other hand, General Eve Cicero is here 😍😍😍 what a legend!

AO3 Chapter 1

RyanS: GUYS I’M SO BORED

RyanS: WERE STUCK IN THIS WEIRD HOSPITAL AND THE DOCTORS NOT AWAKE

yaz01: is now really the time ryan

RyanS: YES

bad-wolf-girl: is the doctor okay?

yaz01: the medics say she’ll be fine. we got hit with some sort of weird space bomb but these people are taking care of us.

Graham O’Brien: Are we really texting right now?

yaz01: that’s what i said.

The Captain: When you say weird space bomb…

Graham O’Brien: I think one of the medics said “sonic mine.”

RyanS: theyre trying to find our medtags now. taking bets on how long it takes them to realize we havent got any

The Captain: A sonic mine? You know how lucky you are to be alive, right?

RyanS: picking up on it yeah

yaz01: hold on a sec, dr’s awake

DoctorJones: In the meantime, I’ve finally convinced Mickey to check his phone.

mickeyrick: hey, it’s been a while. heard there’s a new doctor. or however that works.

RyanS: might want to read up a bit

yaz01: ryan! get off your phone!

RyanS: you’re on your phone!

yaz01: only to get your attention! come on!

bad-wolf-girl: so we’ll just assume they’re busy, then

bad-wolf-girl: anyone meet any cool aliens lately?

cyberbill: heather and i went to a planet that was nothing but ocean. pretty cool.

oswin: you two are made of water or something, right?

oswin: suppose you were right at home there

cyberbill: yeah pretty much.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: THIS IS A SPACESHIP

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: WE’RE FOUR DAYS’ TRAVEL FROM THE TARDIS 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: On the other hand, General Eve Cicero is here 😍😍😍 what a legend!

The Captain: Whoa, really?

The Captain: *The* Eve Cicero? Named in the Book of Celebrants?

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: The very one!

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Anyway, got to go, I’m walking.

yaz01: while she’s doing that. cyberbill, did you say you’re made of water?

cyberbill: just bill. and long story, but yeah

RyanS: i give up making sense of you lot

yaz01: sometime i’d like to hear the long story!

cyberbill: well, sounds like you all are going to have time to read, at least. four days away from the tardis and all that.

RyanS: yeah n now the doctor’s gone off who knows where so we dont even have her whole crisis to deal with

cyberbill: i don’t even know where to start. to be honest, i’m not sure i even understand it all. but my crush got taken by this sort of water thing, and then i was a cyberman for a bit, and next thing i knew i was water.

cyberbill: heather says it’s all just atoms. she’s better with all this than i am

cyberbill: someday i’ll add her in here. don’t know if she’d say much.

The Captain: We’re all dying to meet her.

cyberbill: or *you’re* dying to meet her

oswin: oi, i’m already dying. don’t add this into it!

yaz01: you’re dying?

oswin: long story

yaz01: you all keep saying that

oswin: fair enough. basically i’m frozen in the moment right before i died. but i can still move around. so i’ve stolen a tardis and i’m running around in it now

RyanS: im beginning to understand how the doctor picks her friends

RyanS: ur all completely mad

oswin: not sure what that says about you, then

RyanS: oh i’ll accept me being mad too, that’s fine

johnsmith42: nothing wrong with a bit of madness!

bad-wolf-girl: says the man who reconfigured our entire television to not use the color green

johnsmith42: I don’t like green! what’s wrong with that?

bad-wolf-girl: everything shows in shades of red and blue now

bad-wolf-girl: good thing i figured out how to encase my laptop in dalekanium

bad-wolf-girl: for all their faults, Daleks are pretty good at indestructible metal

johnsmith42: for the record, I would NEVER mess with your laptop

yaz01: daleks?

oswin: oh boy

johnsmith42: VERY dangerous aliens. do NOT approach.

bad-wolf-girl: i’m sure you’ll meet one someday. they tend to pop up around the doctor.

yaz01: why?

bad-wolf-girl: that’s really her story to tell, sorry

yaz01: fair enough, i guess.

RyanS: glad ur computers safe

bad-wolf-girl: yeah me too

mickeyrick: so i finished reading up. sounds like you’re having a bit of a time.

mickeyrick: when the doctor gets back tell her i like her jacket

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: I’m back! 👋

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Oh, hello, Mickey! Thanks! 🤗

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Anyway, there’s something *very bad* going on. 👎😱👾😲

Graham O’Brien: And you’re spending time picking out emojis?

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Doesn’t take that long! 😡😡😡

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: ANYWAY. Something’s on board and it’s killed Astos. Ryan, Graham, Yaz, be careful.

RyanS: wed better go find her hadnt we

yaz01: yep

DoctorJones: Be safe!

bad-wolf-girl: good luck!

mickeyrick: i’m remembering why i never come in this chat

mickeyrick: my life might be dangerous but at least it makes sense

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Anyone know anything about something called a “Pting?”

bad-wolf-girl: you have a pting on your ship?

bad-wolf-girl: we came across one of those a few years back

bad-wolf-girl: didn’t exactly go very well

bad-wolf-girl: i’m sure you’ll be fine though

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: That’s not encouraging!!! 😱

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: We’re looking it up in the ship’s systems 😬

bad-wolf-girl: all you need to know is it eats *everything*

bad-wolf-girl: and its skin is toxic

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: 😱😱😱

The Captain: oh, boy

The Captain: Doctor, I’m going to need you to check in with us frequently until this one’s over

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Will do.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Got to think. What do we do???

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: THE SHIP’S GOT A BOMB IN IT 😱

johnsmith42: what???

The Captain: well, that’s a check-in, I suppose

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: It’s a Tsuranga ship, there’s a self-destruct in case anything happens that makes the ship a danger to the planet on which it lands.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: But we are NOT going to be a danger!

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: We are going to SOLVE THIS.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: So the bomb is really unfair!

bad-wolf-girl: too bad life isn’t fair i guess

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Oi!!! You shut up!!!

bad-wolf-girl: 😘

Amy: hey everybody! what’s up!

bad-wolf-girl: doctor’s in danger, the rest of us are laughing at her to hide our worry

Amy: must be Tuesday

bad-wolf-girl: pretty much

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: AMY! Hi Amy!

Amy: hey, doctor!

Amy: oh, never mind. looks like you have bigger things to do than talk in this groupchat

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: I’m procrastinating 😔😓 can’t think of a plan!!! 😬😬😬 Don’t worry, I’ll get there!

yaz01: doctor, we’re on our way back

yaz01: have you been talking to your friends this *whole time*?

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Don’t worry! I almost have a plan!

yaz01: i can’t believe i trust you with my life!

Amy: but you do…

Amy: it’s a trap we all fall into

Amy: side note, but is this version of the Doctor somehow more of a mess than the last two?

johnsmith42: *definitely* more of a mess than me.

bad-wolf-girl: keep telling yourself that 😘

johnsmith42: I will, thanks.

RyanS: ABOUT TO HELP DELIVER A MANS BABY WISH US LUCK

Amy: ???????

The Captain: Good luck!

bad-wolf-girl: good luck!

Amy: what happened to the alien?

cyberbill: something tells me they might be a little too busy to talk right now

oswin: good luck!

oswin: oops i’m too late

yaz01: THERE’S NO INTERNET TUTORIAL FOR STAZING A PTING

oswin: are those real words?

oswin: you’ve got to be careful. i swear the doctor likes to just make up words.

bad-wolf-girl: i second that.

bad-wolf-girl: i still make up words for everything i don’t understand and i blame him...

bad-wolf-girl: marrying his clone can’t have helped.

johnsmith42: oh, you love me

bad-wolf-girl: 😘😘😘

oswin: careful… use that many emojis at once and you’ll get confused for the doctor

bad-wolf-girl: lol

DoctorJones: Hold on… is everyone all right?

oswin: seems like the jury’s out

oswin: i’m fine tho

DoctorJones: Ryan, do you need help? I’m an *actual* doctor on Earth.

yaz01: not sure human medicine is entirely applicable

yaz01: but there’s a medic doing the heavy lifting, don’t worry

yaz01: ryan and graham are being doulas

yaz01: OH SHLJKKDSA

DoctorJones: Yaz?

bad-wolf-girl: everything all right?

oswin: what happened?

Amy: yaz???

yaz01: sorry yeah everything’s fine

yaz01: just drop kicked a pting nothing to see here

yaz01: dropped my phone mid-message

yaz01: sorry about that

DoctorJones: Glad you’re all right.

yaz01: yeah me too

yaz01: but no time to talk drs here

oswin: good luck

oswin: side note i just found a planet with six-headed lizards

cyberbill: what, you mean like the hydra?

oswin: yeah!

oswin: think they came to earth and inspired the ancient greeks?

Amy: doubt it

Amy: anyone can think up a many-headed dragon

oswin: true enough. anyway i’m going to go explore. ttyl

Amy: have fun!

mickeyrick: anyone else *really worried* about this whole alien-spaceship situation?

Amy: they’ll get out of it

DoctorJones: The Doctor does have a knack for getting out of these sorts of things. I’m sure they’ll be fine.

bad-wolf-girl: doesn’t always end well though

Amy: she’s had time to come up with a plan now

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Hi everybody I’m brilliant!

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Pting ate the bomb and now all we have to do is get the ship to Resus One, and then we can go right on back to the TARDIS.

Amy: told you!

bad-wolf-girl: nice!!!

RyanS: this babys so cute i might cry

Graham O’Brien: Not because of the heartwarming conversation you just had or anything.

RyanS: no its just really cute

RyanS: im serious its so little

RyanS: did you know they make people that little

RyanS: its fingers

RyanS: are tiny

yaz01: ryan have you ever seen a baby before

RyanS: leave me alone yaz!!!

DoctorJones: Is the dad doing all right?

RyanS: yeah hes fine

RyanS: hes gonna be such a good dad

RyanS: but thats not why i might cry i swear

RyanS: (grahams looking at me funny :-( )

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Bad news. General Cicero is dead.

Graham O’Brien: Oh, goodness.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: We’re going to be holding a funeral in the engine room. Ryan, Graham, do you think Yoss will want to come?

RyanS: ill ask

RyanS: he says yes

Graham O’Brien: Be there in a moment, Doc.

The Captain: Quite a loss.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: I know. 😢

DoctorJones: May she rest in peace.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: She lived a good life.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Died saving us.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: She had pilot’s heart. Knew she had pilot’s heart. Took over control of the ship anyway.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: All the emojis in my name are seeming really inappropriate right about now. 😢😢😢

bad-wolf-girl: i’m sorry doctor

Amy: I’ll add her to the list.

Amy: General Eve Cicero?

yaz01: the list?

bad-wolf-girl: when people die we add them to a list

bad-wolf-girl: we make a point of remembering them every so often

bad-wolf-girl: roughly once a year in the timeline of whoever’s holding the list

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: General Eve Cicero is right.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Also add Astos.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: He was the medic who died.

Amy: got it

<document: the list>

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Thanks, Amy. 💙

Amy: no problem

yaz01: wait, how often do people die??? this is a *long* list

bad-wolf-girl: this is over the course of maybe a thousand years in the doctor’s timeline

bad-wolf-girl: it’s a dangerous life, yaz

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: I’m sorry. I did warn you.

yaz01: yeah i know

yaz01: took me by surprise i guess

The Captain: General Cicero is 116th century, right?

The Captain: from Keeba?

The Captain: I know those funeral rites

The Captain: they’re beautiful

The Captain: I hope they carry her well

bad-wolf-girl: what’re they like?

The Captain: Keeba’s a solar system full of voyagers

The Captain: there wasn’t any life there until it got developed

The Captain: so their rituals and ceremonies assume every religion is real and has value.

The Captain: it depends on which planet she’s from and where her family’s from

The Captain: but they tend to involve everyone standing in a circle and speaking together.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: That’s exactly right. We had her android consort lead.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: She’s been laid to proper rest now. Among the stars. 🌠

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: And we’re almost to Resus One, which’ll teleport us back to the TARDIS.

The Doctor ☄️👋😂🌌🌈: Not sure my ectospleen’ll ever be the same, though.

RyanS: not sure your ectospleens our biggest concern

yaz01: i think she just fell asleep

johnsmith42: well, she’s clearly had a long day.

Graham O’Brien: I’ll say. I’m about to fall asleep myself.

RyanS: you do that

RyanS: im gonna go see if yoss will let me hold his baby brb

[kaotikreviews]

WEBTOONs Time

Since I’ve found the platform, I’ve been nothing but OBSESSED. I’ve read a lot of different webtoons by now, and caught up with several. The highlight of each day has become 9pm when the newest batch of webtoons come out. 👌🏼

Today, I read the new episodes for my subscribed comics. Here are my thoughts (WARNING - may contain spoilers):

At Arms Length, by Zushi - Chapter 9.2, Trapped: I recently found this series and binged all the previous episodes, so the story still feels fresh in my memory. This comic is unique because it tells you up front the two characters that end up together and let’s you know they are healthy and happy later on. The author uses a pretty slow story progression towards that end and focuses on emotions and mental health in each episode. Since the comic is more about processing thoughts and feelings, the pace of real world events is much slower. Even so, the epis feel a bit too short (but the art is amazing, so I get it). Full disclosure, it looks like this series can get a bit raunchy at times. 👀 I was a bit torn about this comic because of my own morals and world views (I really want to say the main characters need Jesus AND all the healthy things they are doing👌🏼), but a lot of the episodes about depression really resonated with me since that’s something I’ve struggled with for literally my whole life. Long story short, I’m hooked, so 💁🏻‍♀️. Today’s epi is more of the female lead’s back story and her previous relationship. I guess it was good. I’ve literally never been in a romantic relationship, so can’t relate to the situation directly, but it’s just one of the many reasons why I wanna be forever alone. 😳 I think I always refresh like a lunatic hoping for one more episode at the end, but today’s episode did feel pretty short. Then again, every time I catch up on a webtoon, the episodes that come out after that always feel short anyway. 😂

WEBTOON GREENLiGHT - Escape from Oz: tbh, I’m not the biggest fan of the art style and the surreal take on the storyline threw me for a loop at first, but also, super hooked ngl. 😏 I love a good sci-fi. I mean, we are in the world of fantasy and fiction and break real world rules CONSTANTLY, so why not just lean in and go crazy with it? 😌 I bet you guessed, but 3rd epi definitely got a fancy 🤍 from me and now I’m hoping for it to get green lit so I can find out what happens next! 👀

My Magical Maid - Ep 9: another recent find, it only took me a couple minutes to catch up and be wanting more. 🤩 As mentioned before, fiction/sci-fi is my jam. I can get weird about witchy story lines if they wanna be really like creepy and demonic and offensive to my beliefs and world views, but if it’s balanced enough, its nbd to me. I like the series because I like stories with people with powers. How fun would it be to have super powers? It’s fun to imagine, so I love seeing other people’s takes on a day in the life of a super. Our super (a witch in this particular story world), is a maid/personal secretary type person/doctor/friend of the ruler of the land. The relationships and interactions feel very modern, but the setting is like, fairy tale times. Like, our girl is supposed to be a maid, but she’s on peer terms with the king and can speak her mind openly. It’s different, so I like it. Very interesting dynamics, I can’t wait to find out more about their back stories. Today, they closed up a story arch that threatened our otp but now.. does that make our main dude an even badder guy? lol 🧐 I mean, second lead just made main dude look kinda awful in comparison. And I never get second lead syndrome, so this is a bit of a strange perspective for me. (I don’t get second lead syndrome because the otp has a pull to it. Good relationships take time, but also chemistry.) I’m not opposed to a bad boy redemption story, so super excited to see this all play out and glad the triangle is going away. 😅 I have no idea what this gif is from, but it looks cool so ~

Lost in Translation - Ep 18: I mean, is every comic coming out this year gonna be bout stalkers?! 👀 Today’s epi was wyld (haha, pun). After reading the beginning of #killstagram and starting up It’s Mine, this plot twist is starting to feel super familiar. There’s been a stalker story arch in several other comics in my deck as well. Can’t say I’m a big fan, tbh. I hate the fact that things like that really happen, and the fact that it could happen to me or someone I care about. I’m terrible for this, but I prefer not to think about the grittier and scarier side of humanity too much. Of course, I said “too much”. A little here and there isn’t so bad, and so overall, I’m still pretty hooked on this comic. Hopefully things start to improve for our MC soon, and I’m so glad he’s getting some support from his friend.

I Love Yoo - Ep 127: bout time we got back to the sister arch! 😂 I binged this to catch up a while ago now, and so the story is starting to fade a bit. It still blows my mind how far we’ve come in the story and yet how little progress we’ve made. I mean, the family dynamic hasn’t been sorted yet, and I’m missing the friend dude, the one with red hair (I think?) yeah, it’s been so long I am forgetting his name already! 😅 I normally am super against any form of “stealing” people in relationships, but when the relationships are super toxic and bad, I sometimes find myself shipping the better relationship. (Jim and Pam from the office for example.) Truth be told, the main girl and the red head are my favorite ship, and I hope it’s the otp. All the other dudes in her life just don’t compare to the tension, chemistry, and mutual respect those two have. They bring out the best in each other and redhead really needs some help just like our MC did in the beginning. I hope she reaches out to him more (and that he ends that shell of a ship he is currently in.)

Choco Latte - Ep 38: another recent find. It’s a silent comic, which is kinda brilliant. Sometimes I read ahead on my favorite comics on Naver in the original language, but since I only really know English, it’s a very similar experience to this comic. You rely more on the expressions and context to understand the situations and how the story is progressing. I like it. I also liked how wholesome all the characters are. There isn’t a lot of nastiness between people so far and I hope that continues. It’s refreshing given the world we live in and most of the comic I read, tbh. Recent epis (including today’s) have me a bit worried tho. I hope they ain’t breaking main ship 😬 or creating a rift that would destroy the innocence and optimistic world view of our MCs. I’m a pretty gritty, glass half empty type of person a lot of times, and I call it being a realist. Fact is, life is often cruel. But in story world, it doesn’t have to be. I hope the author preserves the sweetness of this comic, but even if not, I’m down for the ride. (Unless they break up the otp, then I may quit for real.)

Not Even Bones - so I haven’t been reading this on webtoons for a while. I found out there was a book, and when it hit a cliffhanger, I scoured the internet until I found it online for free. I finished the book in a very short period of time and then the sequel. There’s still another one out that I want to read, but I needed a break. Not sure where the webtoons version is at, but I mean, this story gets DARK. Wondering how I reconcile this with all my aforementioned morals? I don’t. I believe all humans are kinda terrible, which is why I believe we need saving from ourselves and each other. I don’t believe all the stories with hopeful endings and super hero’s and saviors are just from our wishful thinking, I believe that a part of our souls is wired to respond and reach for our creator, who is actively speaking and reaching for us. Since we’ve been effectively “kidnapped” and trapped in a broken world system, it’s like we are birds that were born in cages. It’s in our nature to do certain things that just don’t make sense for our current environment but makes total sense for the environment we were created for. I believe it’s in our nature to search for something that’s missing and to fill that void with whatever and whoever we can find - many people think it’s just the way things are and don’t think about why, or they become contented with the void inside. No matter what we try to use to fill that emptiness inside, it’s never enough. Well, not until we connect to our creator and escape from “captivity”. I’ve been a Christ follower my whole life and even so, it ain’t easy. I have mad depression and I’m not necessarily a “good” person. But I’d probably be dead if I didn’t have Jesus in my life, and that’s after doing all the self help I could. No matter what I did, it wasn’t enough until I experienced hope and love for the first time in a spiritual experience. 👌🏼 I mean, if humans are terrible, and we all are constantly trying to self destruct, who can truly help us but God? People can’t be the cure for other people, and as much as self help stuff, well, helps - it isn’t a cure either. Self help can be like relying on a flaky and unstable individual to save your life - eek! 😂

For the record, my goal isn’t to stuff my beliefs down people’s throats, just sharing my thoughts. If you find it offensive, then please skip on by or think of it as a nice story (but for me, it’s as real as breathing, so I can’t help but talk about it. 👌🏼)

Anyone else reading these comics? What are your thoughts? Are there other comics that you recommend? Are there any that you fast passed on? I was super tempted to fast pass a few, but I hate having to wait longer for a new update. 😂

Today’s top song (thanks for sending it to me, sis! 💯):

[dalrynne]

1, 8, 11, 14, 15, 17, 24, 32, 33, 37, 28, 39, 40

OMG IM SO SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING THIS ASK UNTIL NOW AJSDKHAD

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

omg idek which movie i would consider my favorite movie... but i think i have this reoccurring feeling of “OMG that was the best movie ever!” whenever i have a new fav movie hahahaha

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

hmm i guess i’d say my fashion sense? i’ve worked quite hard for a long time to get where i am now (i think my style is pretty good now) and tbh it’s one of my fav compliments to receive! i’m still working on expanding my wardrobe and  building on it; there’s always room for improvement~

11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.

i think i would have to say the one where i met my ultimate fav celebrity/singer, kyuhyun cho from super junior! in my dream he even touched me and i remember even feeling the warmth of his touch... it was such a vivid dream LOL i still remember it even tho its been so long?

14: Talk about a vacation.

the vacation that lasts the most in my mind is probs the most recent one. i went to greece during spring break with a friend this year! tbh it wasn’t as fun as it could have been bc the weather was cold and bc it was easter, everything was closed for several days and at night it was really scary bc there were all these men hanging around outside, smoking and staring us down. but it was also really fun bc i got to see the beautiful ocean. the best part was going horse-back riding for the first time!! omg it was such a great experience bc i’ve loved horses ever since i was young but i had never been able to ride one (besides this one time when i was like 5 at a petting zoo or something). shoutout to kayli for making that happen omggg

oh man, now i want to talk about my trip to paris with a different friend and met a couple of my internet friends, but i guess that’s a different story hehe (if you wanna hear about it, hmu tho!)

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

oh shit LOL have i Ever been fully content in my life ahaha... i honestly can’t really remember? probably when i was younger...? or perhaps now??? idk man.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

tbh lately, i’ve been feeling kinda antisocial... i don’t really have a desire to make new friends or get closer to some friends/acquaintances bc i feel so drained? i feel this way especially towards internet friends tbh bc i feel like we’re never going to meet anyway so why put in so much effort. ugh, i know thats horrible and i don’t want to feel this way but :’) alas. maybe its bc i’ve been feeling kinda insecure lately too? LOL idk. but i do want to befriend my crush tho... bc if i befriend him, maybe it’ll develop into something more~

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

oh wow, hmm. i’ve been told that i’m stylish and have a good sense of humor, which are some of my fav compliments hehe. like when someone actually thinks/says that i’m funny, i’m really happy! i can’t really remember anything else atm but haha i’m sure there were some other things?

28: Talk about your fetishes.

LMAOO OMG AJDKAHSDASD i ummm... idek what qualifies as a fetish, like is it just a kink? are those the same things?? do i even have those????? i guess i’m kinda into bondage tho, probs light hahaha

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

i grew up in indiana and i had really fond memories of it. i moved to nyc in the middle of 3rd grade and it was really hard adjusting at first. but now i’m a new yorker so LOL. i remember indiana being almost this enchanted place bc i felt so free there. i could ride my bike with my friends until the sun went down (that was like 8pm in the summer) and i barely got any hw which was lit. (stranger things makes me feel really nostalgic bc its supposed to be set in indiana and i used to bike around with my friends all the time too hehe)

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

hmm, this is a very good question bc i honestly hardly know what to do with myself when i’m sad and i just feel like i wanna die a lot of the time tbh HAHA. but i’ve been trying to find healthier coping mechanisms to do when i’m sad... like i usually try to distract myself by listening/watching shows or movies or whatever. or try to hang out with my friends. or sometimes i just go to bed early by getting myself very very sad by listening to sad songs and thinking of things to upset myself further and then cry myself to sleep. that actually works quite well bc i wake up and feel refreshed most of the time? haha

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

huh. was i ever really truly in love tho LMAO... i suppose the closest thing to that was with my latest ex. our relationship was so short-lived and hes lowkey kinda psycho so um Yikes. i’m glad i didn’t get back with him bc hes obviously not good for me. there were some red flags but i just ignored them OTL. but well, he was sweet and it was nice while it lasted but hmm, Yikesss. 

39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.

omggg ok i wish i knew sooner that you need to play an active role in your life or else you’re going to be very unhappy and feel really hopeless. listen, you are in charge of a good portion of your life; your decisions and efforts are important. if you want something, go get it!! you can’t cry and complain about things yet never try to do something about it. but on the other hand, there are some things in life that you can’t change. somethings just happen and the best you can do is deal with them to the utmost of your abilities. there’s this delicate balance of determinism and free-will. but its always better to try and fail than never try and regret it.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

the end of high school was really nice i think. i was really excited for freshman year of uni in london bc i had never been out of the country before and i’ve been interested in britain since i was really young! i was hopeful for the new people i’d meet and the cool new things i’d experience. it was kinda disappointing but it was still a great experience i think haha. i definitely grew and matured as a person, which i’m really happy about.

thank you to the anon who sent me this ask!! i’m sorry again about the late reply ;;;

if you’d like to send me more, here is the post!

[tagfer]

I'm sending this on anon but you could figure out who I am if you cared I am sure. The answer is the community is even more toxic now in some ways and I don't wanna be like "I'm often the target" but it sure feels like it a lot. There is a lot of infighting, anons telling bloggers to kill themselves, trying to chase people out, and echo chambet shit talking in private servers. There is blame of large blogs not being welcoming to small blogs despite evidence to the contrary. (Continued)

(Continued) In all honesty, it is exhausting. The public callouts have mostly ceased but passive aggression and private rumor mills reign now. I would leave the community but I do have fun doing giveaways with my friends and I can generally handle it even with the toxicity. Some days are harder than others and I’m not sure if this is a general Tumblr fandom issue or if Pokemon just attracts absolute garbage. Anyway, yeah, it’s still trash. I’m glad for you you don’t consider yourself part of it.

Also I feel the problem is some people do this not to be generous but to fuel their own egos, like they want praise. And wanting recognition is fine on its own but feeling entitled to it and envious of others who are receiving it is kind of ugly and petty. We should give out Pokemon to help others and make friends and not to stroke our own egos, in my opinion, but the latter and the entitlement that comes with it seem to be an unfortunately prevalent attitude of late.

ugh. as much as I wish I was surprised at all this, I’m really not. which is sad. What the flying fuck is up with these people.

Like, Giveaways are in concept just so selflessly nice. Putting time and effort into doing something for others, something that can genuinely make someone’s day, week, y’know…  why these people gotta turn it into nothing shy of a daytime TV drama? Bleh. “Let’s turn something about being nice into a reason to bully others.” like why don’t you go sit in the corner and think about why you gotta misbehave like that. (And the participants/anons can be even worse by being entitled little shits who throw online temper tantrums when you don’t get what they want.)

Undoubtedly, some people just want to be seen as an idol or to feed their ego, and I’m sure that plays a part in why some people can be… like that. But if it wasn’t for drama, I don’t think it’d matter much what someone’s motivation was if at the end of the day they were truly spreading genuine joy. But instead they gotta make it into a war or some shit. You buttlords go spend a few minutes in the corner too.

Like for example my reasons for doing giveaways are objectively selfish, I do ‘em to help with my depression. I mean I know I’m making people happy, but that helps me feel better, so I’m in a way using others without them even knowing. But regardless, I know I do make people genuinely happy, so I’ll keep doing it. 

Back when I was very involved I’d refer to myself as a giveaway blog but honestly I never truly was, it’s just my games/such blog and I happened to do giveaways. I’m just glad nowadays people leave me alone for the most part, nobody’s tried to get me involved in shit for quite a while. (I’m kinda sad that I’ve fine tuned my giveaway posts to the point anons don’t ask me dumb questions anymore tho, being a smartass to them was kinda fun. I did go too far a few times but still.)

hopefully this whole thing doesn’t get someone to start shit with me tho lmao

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself

[the-entire-population-of-earth]

Amran's NS journey

Basic Military Training (BMT)

Bmt was fucking rushed. Everyone does not know what activities there are gonna be for each day up until the last minute due to the higher upper's uncertainty. But hey at least me and my bunkmates were the most bonded as fuck than the rest due to us always making fun of the commanders and other bunkmates. I was in a leadership batch but one way or another i didnt get to be a commander. Too bad we all split up from each other.

Unit life

1st Battalion Guards

I was posted to 1st battalion singapore guards as a storeman for hq company. I was helping with signal sets. Before guardsman troopers came in, it was a breeze. It was just doing our own branch work and report to the different timings and duties and its all good life. Not as good life though as there is this one specific person who is so fucked up due to his laziness. As a storeman, it was damn easy as it was just using a little labor and then the job is done. Everything was quite certain and routined until the troopers came.

Troopers

When the troopers came, i was involved in a major event. I didn't know how chaotic was the first day but when the days passed, it was chaotic as fuck. They were fucking jealous as hq company had a lot of welfare and the troopers would pinpoint little things such as hq not marching and having more time for ourselves. In my opinion, most of the hq personnels are not combatants so whats the point of us doing what they are doing. But then things settled down as the higher uppers try to ease the tension and shit.

Guards vocation training (GVT)

Gvt was the most fun i had in my ns life. I literally enjoyed every part of it even tho i only participated in the high keys. The high keys were only 10km fast march, 2km swimming and heli rappelling. Fast marches were my toughest one because i cant run for shit. Then came the incident but nevertheless i finished all of it in time for the final fieldcamp and right of passage (ROP). Then came the parade which was satisfying as fuck.

Laundry ic

Since the previous laundry ic had ORD, i had to step up to be the laundry ic. Being the battalion laundry ic made me realise how bad the troopers are being treated and how i was introduced to people that were out of course from being a trooper. By this time, i was considered "lao jiao", old caged bird, who knows the system well and we all knew that the company sergeant major (CSM) cannot fix the duty roster and will always tell us that we last minute have to do duties. Since i am just a storeman, and i don't receive combat pay, why should i have a need to do guard duty whereas there were like around 400+ troopers to do it. It was not as if they have other duties. But as a storeman in hq company, we have like 3 different types of duties; duty clerk, duty storeman and guard duty. Duty clerk is just manning the phone to which we must answer to cater to the caller's needs. Duty storeman is just to open up and close the branch at timings and also make sure all the store keys are accounted for. Guard duty involves to either prowl around the camp or to station at the gate to ensure security for the camp. In my opinion, guard duty isnt needed for a storeman because most of the time we dont handle weapon and we already have 2 other duties. On top of that, as storeman is a combat support service (CSS), we have other responsibilities from handling our stores to issuing items thus the need for guard duty is pointless as it really can clash with our other responsibilities. In my case, it did clash a lot of time due to poor planning for duties from CSM.

Ex lancer (Brunei)

Brunei was chill as fuck, being a laundry ic for just hq company because they have their own laundry department there. As there was not a lot of hq personnel that went outfield, i didn't do much. Out of the 2 weeks there, i only did around less than 10 hours worth of work and then spent the rest of the time catching up on my shows. But the food there was the start of my weight gain because it was really good.

Post brunei

Post brunei was the worst and hectic month because there was audit and then a month after that would be exercise wallaby. Higher uppers hold our bookout times till late afternoon and tasked with bullshit last minute works which they could have done in the time we were in brunei. Then a fucked up person came back and corrupted one specific race of hq. Before Australia, i had only 2 days to pack and attend to my personal commitments with my family and friends.

Ex wallaby ( Australia)

During the flight to Australia, i was in full denial as i didnt have enough time to fulfill my commitments. Australia was fucked up from the day after we landed. There were non stop taskings after taskings due to there were no resources/stores on Australia. We had to unpack and issue out the items while the troopers spent their time resting due to the recent death which lead to safety timeout. We had to load up a lot of the stores to the forklift and then go to the places that are around 1km from each other just because the containers for the stores are far from the issuing point. All of my time was in full denial and might have dragged my branch down but i tried my hard not to. On top of issuing stores and settling accomodations, we also had to take part in operations. The battalion expects us to do all this even though we don't receive enough pay to do all this. There were no such thing as weekend and logistics need to be settled. We actually did overtimed more than usual.

But rest and relax there was good enough for 2 days and 1 night. The motel was ok as i shared with my branch mate and one random guy. I went to a bar for the first time in my life to meet up with my superiors. We talk cocked and did stupid shits to unwind ourselves from the fucking busy exercise.

Post Australia

I was so lazy by that time that i dont even care about shit that i used to care. I even envy all of my friends who are not from the army and are able to see their family by the end of the day everyday. This unit had already thin out all my patience. Other than my opinion, the taskings that im doing are easy and can be done and also our CSM fucked up duties again with fucking last minute duties.

Pre pre ORD

Pre pre ord was the most toxic time as the schedules planned are all so rushed and the CO doesnt even trust the troopers to do a good job hence "more training". With more training comes more store items being issued out, meaning i have to carefully issue the different items. I have changed my jobscope from a laundry IC to a comms store assistant. Its an easy job but everyday they keep asking and exchanging items will make our side of the system to not tally up as i lost track of what is being issued/serviced. Whats more worse is that my QM started playing with off privileges just so we could settle the system. On top of that, the servicing uncles also scolded due to "our poor" paperwork. Honestly at this point in time i wish i wasnt so hardworking so that i set their expectations of me so low. All of these problems arose due to our lack of a regular IC or a regular sergeant. Since we took our past IC for granted, meaning we would always ask him what things there are going to be, like a man behaviour than a commander, we had a lot of things we needed to figure out such as paperworks and who have the rights to the system and who is in charge of us and shit. There was a period of time we dont even know what jobs there are until the last minute we had to do a lot. This uncertainty period really fucked me up because my RQ would always scold me. That's not an issue however but one day I might blow up due to a lot of pressure and thaty really takes a lot of my patience. It was these period that the contractor really blacklisted my unit for poor paperwork but all i can think of is that i most probably wont be working with them in the future Luckily everything finished around later May and then it was a long 1 week break for Hari Raya.

Pre ORD

After hari raya, i had a little shock cause it was a bit of a cooldown period as i was going to almost ord in about less than 2 months. The 2nd month was quite a chill period as i already have 2 understudies with me and rq already told me to slowly hand over to them. But boy, i had the shock of my life during the last month as my QM started saying shit like i never handed over properly to them as they still had a lot of errors. I am here trying my best to teach them but they had a fucking high expectations for me to make sure they will be like me. Thus i tried to ask for offs here and they to "let me go" and they said no. All my other colleagues who were gonna ord near me had already left and im here still stuck. And on top of that literally 2 weeks before ORD, QM gave me 3 extra duties just because of a minor mistake. What a nice way to squeeze out a person. The extra came and it fell on my birthday which makes being 23 damn depressing.

Ord

To be honest, my life in the army was just not fair and fucking unreasonable due to the superior's lack of brains. They think they are doing the right thing and will just shrug off our opinions and commitments. The way they treat people like me is as if they are the only ones that matter. Even though we did try to raise the different problems we faced, they just say something around the lines of standardisation or "suck thumb". And not just that, even if we are given the things we wanted, there are sure people to take advantage of it but all of us must suffer together even though we are not with them. To be honest, collective punishment isn't the way to go in hq because there is a lot of factors needed to be considered. I am just so glad that i got out of the toxicity and continue on to my civilian life. Again.