#i really wanted to hammer home the ''this is not a human'' thing

[breserker]

WAIT, no, you cannot leave out that Tolkien was not just a soldier but a commanding officer. You cannot, cannot leave out that when he was away (on injury i believe) all of his men fucking died. You cannot leave out that Samwise Gamgee was written as a beloved apology and grief of those men, modeled after them, because Tolkien believe that the Sams of the world deserved to live, that it was a tragedy that they died.

It's not that Tolkien just understood tactics and wanted things to make internal sense, it's that he was intimately, painfully familiar with the toll of human loss that had names and faces and Rosie Cottons they wanted to return to if they only had one more chance to ask her out instead of being left wondering if they ever could until their bloody, untimely end.

I truly believe the reason LOTR stands out still amongst many of its 'successors' is because of this, this heartbroken apology to the lives that WERE lost to dumb wars, dumb tactics, dumb "wins". Tolkien was in no way cold in how he approached tactics, he wanted everyone to live. Desperately. Because he knows that everyone won't make it, and he knows what that actually means as an individual.

the problem with knowing things about battle tactics is that an ever-increasing subset of popular media becomes impossible to enjoy properly because you have to sit there like 'wow Captain Protagonist good to know all those dead people on your own side are a direct result of your total lack of anything resembling brains'

[lazy-ahh]

ORPHAN OF THE VOID (MEETS HIS RUIN)

pairing viltrum! mark grayson x (space outlaw) male reader

rule #1 of being a space outlaw: always put yourself first. you've survived slave markets, alien mobs, and the cold void of space—but none of it prepared you for mark grayson. in another life, you might’ve run. but his hand fits too perfectly around yours—and for the first time, you’re not sure you want to escape.

taglist @hhoneylemon , @queermaeda , @yujensstuff

you crash-landed on earth in what could be called a blaze of glory—if "glory" meant a flaming heap of scrap metal, stolen engine parts, and the distinct smell of burning circuits. your ship, the star-jumper (a name you gave it after drunkenly winning it in a bet), was now little more than a smoking carcass, its hull groaning as it settled into the crater it had just carved into the ground. you coughed, waving away the thick plumes of smoke, and grinned.

home.

or at least, what was supposed to be home.

you’d been lost for so long, your earliest memories were just fragments—scavenging for food in the wreckage of your family’s ship, their remains staining the walls in hues you didn’t want to remember. the rogue aliens who’d boarded hadn’t killed you—no, that would’ve been too easy. instead, they’d dragged you off, sold you like cargo to some backwater planet where the air was poison and the only thing thicker than the smog was the cruelty. you’d spent years in a rusted helmet just to breathe, doing grunt work for slavers who’d branded you like livestock. the scar on the back of your neck still burned sometimes, a phantom reminder of the iron searing into your skin.

but you’d escaped. stolen a ship. learned how to fight, how to lie, how to survive. you became a legend in the galaxy—the ghost of the outer rim, they called you. a thief with a heart? maybe. but only when it suited you. you helped where you could, but the second things got dicey? poof. gone. survival was the only rule that mattered. you gotta put yourself first, you know? self-love is important!

then, one night in some grimy spaceport bar, a drunk alien had sneered at you, called you a "disgusting human" like it was an insult.

human.

suddenly, everything made sense. the fragments of songs in your head, the faded memories of blue skies, the way your body craved sunlight like it was starving for it. earth. you had a home.

you’d spent months charting a course, dodging bounty hunters, and patching up the star-jumper just enough to make the trip. chicago—your home—wasn’t some distant planet. it was right here.

as you breached earth’s atmosphere, your heart pounded. you’d imagined skyscrapers kissing the clouds, neon lights, advanced technology, maybe even a welcoming committee. but instead—

"…am i in the right place?" you muttered, squinting at the distinct lack of floating cities.

eh, whatever. you hit the gas.

the landing was… rough. but the second you stumbled out of the wreckage, coughing up what was definitely not earth-friendly space dust, you were met with the barrel of a gun. then another. then—oh, fantastic—a whole squad of pissed-off, high-tech soldiers, their weapons humming with energy you really didn’t want to test.

your hands shot up in surrender. "hey, hey—easy! i come in peace and all that jazz—"

then, a new group arrived.

your eyes skimmed over them—some guy with a ridiculous beard, some guy that can actually pull off that mustache, a green woman, another woman with a... a uhhh hammer? a huge fish, some guy covered in all red, a guy you really want to steal from cause what was that flying vehicle he just came from, and- is that a martian???—before locking onto him.

tall. broad-shouldered. dark hair swept back like some kind of regal space prince, his jaw sharp enough to cut glass. his eyes—soft brown, but sharp, calculating—scanned you with an intensity that made your throat dry. his lips were a sinful shade of pink, pressed into a firm line, and his body—god, the way that white suit clung to him should’ve been illegal. the fabric stretched over his chest, his arms thick with muscle but still lean, built for speed and power. a familiar insignia gleamed on his shoulders, marking him as something dangerous.

something beautiful.

your brain short-circuited.

"who the hell are you?" beard-guy snapped.

you blinked, then flashed your most charming grin, brushing soot off your jacket like you hadn't just been mentally undressing mr. tall-dark-and-pretty in front of an entire militia and superhero squad. "name's (y/n). professional space outlaw, part-time legend. also, uh... human? apparently?" you gestured to yourself with a little flourish. "surprise?"

the air hung heavy with disbelief. the red-suited woman (you'd later learn was war woman) tightened her grip on her mace. darkwing's cape billowed dramatically even though there wasn't any wind—showoff.

then that voice—deep, smooth, and dripping with enough arrogance to power a small planet—cut through the tension like one of mark's punches through concrete.

"you expect us to believe that?"

you turned slowly, and there he was. mark grayson. all six-plus feet of sculpted perfection, standing like the universe personally appointed him judge, jury, and executioner. his white suit clung to him in ways that should be studied by scientists, a familiar insignia gleaming on his shoulders like a warning label. his eyes—god, those eyes—dark and intense, locked onto you with the focus of a predator who just found his new favorite plaything.

the older guy in red and white (nolan, you also later found out) gave mark a look that could melt steel. mark barely glanced at him before returning that burning gaze to you, chin tilted up in challenge.

"believe what you want, pretty boy," you shot back, flipping your quad-blaster in a showy arc before smoothly holstering it with a satisfying click. "but i've been jumping from one star system to another since i was knee-high to a xenomorph, and i just pulled off the greatest homecoming this side of the milky way. so, y'know." you spread your arms wide. "applause would be nice. also, is this how earth greets all its returning space orphans? because ouch."

a new voice—robotic, skeptical—piped up from the group. "alright, let me ask you this: what master do you serve?"

you blinked. then burst out laughing. "what master do i serve?" you repeated, wiping an imaginary tear. "what am i supposed to say, jesus?" you gestured to your battered clothes and the still-smoking wreck behind you. "i serve me, pal. and occasionally the nearest bar when i'm thirsty."

"bar? you don't look any older than 17."

"what...? is there like, an age restriction to drinking here on earth? oh, what the fuck..."

mark's lip did that thing again—the almost-smile that wasn't quite approval but wasn't quite disgust either. dangerous. exciting.

"cute," he said, taking a step forward that somehow felt like a threat and a promise all at once. "but if you're lying, i'll throw you back into orbit myself."

"that's enough, mark." nolan's voice carried the weight of someone used to being obeyed. mark didn't back down, but he did pause, his eyes never leaving yours.

you couldn't help but grin wider. oh yeah. this was definitely gonna be fun.

(≧∇≦)ﾉ☆

the rivalry was instant. electric. the kind of tension that made your teeth ache and your pulse race in a way that had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with the way mark's stupidly perfect face twisted into a scowl every time you opened your mouth.

at first glance, you'd thought he was just another pretty-boy hero with a god complex—until you saw the way he moved. like gravity was a suggestion. like violence was his first language. and that symbol on his shoulders... something about it made the hair on your neck stand up. it was familiar in a way you couldn't place, like a half-remembered nightmare, sending little jolts of adrenaline through you every time it caught your eye. you'd seen it somewhere in your years drifting through the cosmos, you were sure of it. but for the life of you, you couldn't remember where.

"so what's your deal, superboy?" you'd asked during your first "team bonding" exercise (which was really just cecil's way of seeing if you'd try to steal anything, to see whether you were a threat or just a nuisance. a useful nuisance). "you part of some space cult with the fancy shoulder decals? or just really into symmetrical fashion?"

mark had looked at you like you'd just pissed in his cereal. "it's none of your concern."

"ohhh, mysterious," you'd crooned, leaning into his space just to watch his nostrils flare. "i like it."

that was the moment you decided you were going to make it your life's mission to get under his skin.

you, the cocky space rogue who could quote every line from the blurry vhs tapes of your childhood (even if the memories of your parents' laughter were fading like dying stars). him, the ruthless warrior who moved like he owned the air he breathed and had the ego to match.

training sessions turned into competitions. missions turned into showdowns. every time you pulled off some insane stunt with your jet boots—maybe flipping backwards over a charging villain while blasting your guns like some 80s action hero—mark would "accidentally" punch through the building behind you, sending debris raining down on your head.

"wow," you'd deadpan, shaking concrete dust from your hair, "so impressive. did you practice that in the mirror? or are you just naturally this extra?"

his only response would be that infuriating smirk before he'd zip off to wreck something else.

the first time you stole his kill was an accident. the second time? absolutely on purpose.

"hey grayson!" you called out as you sailed past him on your jet boots, quad blasters already charging. "catch!"

the alien invader exploded mid-air just as mark was winding up for his punch. you took a dramatic bow in midair, blowing imaginary smoke from your guns. "you're welcome."

"you're insufferable," mark growled, floating closer with that murderous glint in his eyes.

"and you're jealous," you sing-songed, hovering just out of reach and sticking out your tongue for good measure. you loved being the only person who can get under his skin, being the only person who can get a reaction from someone who's normally stern and stoic and always in control.

he lunged. you dodged. it became your favorite game.

(≧∇≦)ﾉ☆

then, the obsession started.

not that you were complaining—hell, you lived for this kind of attention. but at first, you didn’t even realize what it was. you just thought mark was being his usual, overbearing, infuriating self—until the patterns became impossible to ignore.

it was the little things at first:

the way his eyes never left you during briefings, even when cecil was talking. like you were the only one in the room worth looking at.

how he’d suddenly materialize on your solo missions, arms crossed, that stupid smirk on his face like he’d won some game you didn’t even know you were playing. "need backup?" he’d ask, voice dripping with fake innocence, while you groaned and muttered, "i was fine, grayson."

the way he’d linger after training sessions, wiping sweat off his brow (ugh, showoff) while subtly blocking the exit so you’d have to squeeze past him.

but the real kicker? the way his entire body went rigid whenever you so much as glanced at someone else.

"oh my god," you whispered to yourself one day, hiding a grin behind your hand as you watched mark obliterate the stupid little stress ball you’d stolen from a space mall and gifted him as a joke. his fingers flexed, the poor thing reduced to rubber dust, all because you’d winked at rex splode while the two of you were debriefing with cecil.

"he’s jealous," you realized, giddy.

…or, well. maybe.

you shook your head, laughing at yourself. yeah, right. like mark grayson—mr. tall-dark-and-stoic, the guy who probably bench-pressed asteroids for fun—would ever be jealous over you. you were, after all, quote on quote a lesser being compared to him. and why would he want someone who wasn't an equal or close to an equal?

"years of zero human interaction really fried my brain, huh," you muttered, rubbing your temples. you were just being delusional, spinning little fantasies to make life more interesting, to cope. that’s what happened when you spent most of your life alone in space, right? you started seeing things that weren’t there.

…except.

except.

the way mark’s gaze burned into you whenever you laughed too loud with someone else. the way his voice got dangerously calm when another hero flirted with you. the way he’d "accidentally" bump into you in the hallway, his hands lingering just a second too long on your waist, his half-lidded yet stern gaze lingering on you as he waited for you to say something sarcastic.

maybe you weren’t imagining it.

(≧∇≦)ﾉ☆

"you're staring again," you teased one lazy afternoon, slumped against the guardians' hq wall like you owned the place. your arms were tucked behind your head, showing off just enough of your torso to be annoyingly casual—and just enough to watch mark's eyes flicker down for half a second before snapping back up.

you hadn't scraped together enough credits to buy your own place yet (superhero salaries were shit), but honestly? crashing at hq wasn't so bad. free food. cool tech. and, most importantly, front-row seats to the slow, delicious unraveling of mark grayson's infamous self-control.

his gaze was heavy today—dark, intense, hungry in a way that made the back of your neck prickle.

"you're imagining things," he muttered, but his eyes didn't waver. not even a little.

"uh-huh. sure." you smirked, tilting your head just enough to expose the column of your throat—just to see if he'd bite. "you like me, grayson."

it was supposed to be a joke. your tone was light, playful, the same way you'd tease rex, robot, or atom eve. but the second the words left your mouth, something in mark's expression shifted. his jaw clenched. his pupils dilated. his shoulders tensed like a predator about to pounce.

something dangerous. something possessive.

your breath hitched.

oh.

oh shit.

before you could react—before you could even breathe—his hand shot out, fingers wrapping around your wrist in a grip that was just shy of bruising. his skin was warm, calloused from countless battles, compared to yours which still had their softness since you wore gloves most of the time, but still calloused all the same. the contrast and similarity sent a jolt of heat straight to your gut.

"maybe," he said, voice so low it vibrated through you, "i just like putting you in your place."

you swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry. your pulse was racing, and you knew he could feel it when his thumb brushed over the frantic flutter beneath your skin.

"oh?" you managed, raising an eyebrow like your heart wasn't trying to climb out of your chest. "and where's my place, exactly?"

his grip tightened. his other hand came up, fingers skimming the side of your neck—right over your pulse point, like he knew exactly how much he affected you. his thumb traced the line of your jaw, slow and deliberate, while his middle and ring fingers ghosted over the brand on the back of your neck—the one you never let anyone touch.

you flinched.

mark noticed.

his touch gentled—just for a second—before his voice dropped to a whisper, his lips so close to your ear you could feel his breath.

"wherever i want you."

(≧∇≦)ﾉ☆

the warmth came later. slow, like a star forming in the void—quiet, inevitable, burning.

it started with late-night talks on the hq roof, your legs dangling over the edge while mark hovered just beside you (because of course he wouldn’t sit like a normal person). you’d ramble about the constellations you’d charted, the supernovas you’d raced, the black holes you’d barely escaped. and mark—mark, who acted like listening to anyone else was beneath him—would actually listen. his eyes would stay fixed on your face, his brow slightly furrowed, like you were the only thing in the universe worth his attention.

"and then boom—whole damn asteroid belt turned to dust," you finished, waving your hands dramatically. "wish you could’ve seen it."

"i could have," he said, nose scrunched in that way it did when he was trying very hard not to sound impressed. "if i’d been there."

you snorted. "oh, please. you’d have punched one rock and called it a day."

he huffed—the closest thing to a laugh he’d ever admit to—and nudged your shoulder with his knee. "i wouldn’t have needed a stolen ship to escape."

"wow. rude." you clutched your chest. "and after i shared my trauma with you."

his lips twitched. "some of us don’t need to compensate with stories."

"ohhh, big words from the guy who literally calls himself invincible—"

"it’s accurate—"

"it’s embarrassing—"

he flicked your forehead. you punched his shin.

neither of you moved away.

the touches came next.

small, at first. a hand on your back after a fight, lingering just a second too long. a shoulder pressed to yours in the elevator, like he needed the contact. once, after a particularly brutal mission, he’d even carried you back to hq—not because you couldn’t walk (you could, thank you very much), but because he’d taken one look at your limp and decided for you.

"put me down, you overgrown—"

"shut up," he’d grumbled, arms tightening around you. "you shouldn’t be walking on that leg."

"it’s fine—"

"it’s bleeding."

"oh, so now you care about blood?"

he’d glared, but his grip had been careful.

then came the almost-confessions.

"you’re such an idiot," mark grumbled one night, pressing a gauze to the cut on your lip after you’d somehow managed to piss off an entire alien mob (in your defense, they’d started it).

"your idiot," you corrected, grinning through the sting.

his fingers stilled. his eyes—dark, intense, burning—locked onto yours.

for a heartbeat, you thought he’d argue.

then his thumb brushed your cheekbone, gentle, and he muttered, "obviously."

and that was the thing, wasn’t it?

mark grayson, with all his viltrumite pride, his superiority, his unshakable belief that he was better than everyone else…

…never treated you like you were beneath him.

if anything, he looked at you like you were his—his equal, his partner, his. like he’d already decided you’d rule the planet at his side.

(and the scariest part?

you were starting to like the idea.)

(≧∇≦)ﾉ☆

then, the angst.

because this was mark. not just mark grayson—not just the arrogant, infuriating, beautiful boy who’d somehow carved a place for himself in your chest—but mark grayson, son of omni-man, a warrior to the viltrum empire.

and you knew.

you knew from the moment it all clicked—from the moment you finally remembered why that insignia on his shoulders made your stomach churn. you’d seen it before, burned into the hulls of warships that had glassed entire civilizations. you’d run from it as a child, though you hadn’t known why at the time.

when you’d confronted him, your voice barely steady, mark hadn’t lied. hadn’t hesitated and treated you like you were his equal. he’d looked you in the eyes, his fingers gentle around your wrist, and told you everything. about viltrum. about conquest. about your planet being next.

and like an idiot, like someone who’d forgotten their own damn rules, you’d accepted him.

"you ever think about just… leaving all this?" you asked one night, your voice too quiet in the space between you. the city sprawled beneath the hq roof, lights flickering like dying stars.

mark didn’t answer right away. his jaw worked, his fingers flexing against the ledge where he sat. you could see the war in his eyes—the viltrumite wrestling with something he’d never been taught to name. it's funny, you started thinking about him as a viltrumite more than as a human with superpowers now.

finally, softly: "no."

you laughed, sharp and brittle, the sound scraping your throat raw. "yeah. didn’t think so."

his hand found yours—squeezed, just once, just enough to make your breath catch. his palm was warm, his grip firm, like he was trying to anchor you. like he knew you’d spent your whole life running and was terrified you’d finally learned how.

(and maybe you should have. maybe the old you—the one who put safety first, who always had an exit strategy—would’ve already been halfway across the galaxy by now.)

but your fingers twined with his instead, holding on like you could somehow change the inevitable. that maybe, just maybe... he'd choose you—

mark exhaled, rough, his thumb brushing your knuckles. "stay," he murmured, the word more plea than order.

you closed your eyes.

(you always put yourself first.)

(so why did his empire feel like your undoing?)

3.4k words woohoo!! viltrum mark is lowkey up there in my favourites... like... there's no way i wouldn't have not written a one-shot for him. i'm just surprised he wasn't the first variant i wrote for. could have definitely done more for this one-shot and definitely could have done it better (i had a vision, but unfortunately i don't think i did it justice). will definitely write more for viltrum mark in the future heheh

[shanastoryteller]

i know spn hates good writing and also sam, but the dumpster fire of s4 really could have been salvaged if they'd just played ruby and castiel straight

by which i mean

ruby should have been one of the good guys (honestly it feels like the writers changed their minds last second regarding her anyway)

castiel should have been the villain (which, let's be clear, he totally was)

the point of this is that it would force dean to confront his own bullshit and maybe figure himself out, which not only would have been good television but would have been satisfying to me, personally

sam's problem is that he wants there to be a good equal to every evil. that he believes goodness exists even where it doesn't, that he always wants to give things a chance, that he always has hope. they sound like good traits, up until they're used against him. they reach the station of angels are bad eventually, but it should have been more immediate and visceral, that there is no greater good here. sam should have had this knocked out of him, which would have shattered him in way, to lose this thing he's depended on his whole life, but it really would have hammered home that it's choices that really do matter, not circumstances

dean's problem is always that he sees monsters as monsters with no grey area, that sam always has to play his moral center the second anything becomes complicated. then he goes to hell, breaks, tortures innocents, and an angel yanks him out and tells him that he's a righteous man

dean desperately desperately wants this to be true

because it's sam who they had to look out for, sam who was destined to go darkside, sam with the demon blood

dean doesn't have that excuse

he's just a human man with a hunger for violence who never learned to curb his appetite. who was instead pushed to gorging himself on it, who is left broken and desperate and angry by what he did to save himself. his whole life, his whole self perception for thirty years, was about protecting innocents. then he betrays that in hell. do you think he kept count? how many innocents he destroyed against how many he saved? the day it equaled out, do you think he wished he could weep?

dean is so unbelievably messed up by hell. not the torture he endured, that's barely a blip, but the torture he inflicted is what haunts him

so he needs for sam to be the bad guy

he's using his powers, he's hanging out with demons, he's drinking demon blood. he's the monster. he's inhuman

(he's using his powers and hanging out with demons and drinking demon blood and still he's doing less harm than dean, still he's trying to save people. dean can't accept this, because he can't be the rotten one. he'll forgive sam anything, but never himself, so it has to be sam. because he can fix sam, he'll always love his brother, so if he's evil there's stil a path forward there. but if it's dean? if he's the one going evil? sam's left him before. why would he stay now? if dean is the one going darkside then he loses everything. himself. his brother. it has to be sam)

dean is projecting all his own shit onto sam because he can't deal with any of it, which is why he treats sam like shit, why he treats him in a way that he's never treated him before. it's how he treats himself. and sam has no idea what to do with this, is left reeling and hurt and broken himself by dean doing this to him. sam never thought dean would leave him to die in the panic room, because dean wouldn't, not the dean he's known his whole life, not the dean that loves him. not alone.

but dean would do that to himself. and since sam is his proxy for himself, it's what he does to sam, but sam doesn't know that so all he feels is the weight of betrayal and grief and rage

isn't it funny, almost? the demons brought sam back just as he was, exactly the same. the angels bring back dean but he's not the same. dean comes back wrong, comes back different. but no one wants to say that. to deal with it

having ruby be evil and castiel venerated justifies all of dean's spiraling, all of his punishment. he was right all along, sam was the problem, don't you see?

boring

ruby stays loyal to sam, a demon who chooses something different, who chooses the boy with the demon blood because there's something compelling about sam winchester, as tempting as the apple before eve, and ruby didn't get where she is by knowing better

(remember when sam pulled all the psychic kids together, acted as leader, and resisted azazel? there is a leader in sam, a compassion in him, that azazel had to cheat in order to beat. and if ruby can show him how to win against demons then-)

castiel let sam out of the panic room. he's following orders, because that's his job, and damn the consequences. this should have been seen as the act of betrayal and evil that it was, castiel proving he was never really on their side at all, never on the side of preventing harm. it also would have made his redemption arc mean something, it would have given castiel a lot more to work with if they'd had to really bring him back over

ruby realizes too late what killing lilith means. tries to stop sam, but now that she's here it's too late, kill or be killed. sam accepts that, is willing to die rather than start the apocalypse. but then dean is there, and he can't watch his brother die again, he just can't. so he kills lilith to save dean, when he would have been willing to die himself

ruby gets them out of there. they discover what castiel did, that he pushed forward the apocalypse rather than prevented it

this breaks dean. he finally snaps, but it's good, because everything he'd used to shore himself up before had been terrible and rotted and corrosive

a righteous man is not a good man. dean is forced to confront everything he's done in hell, and after he'd gotten back, everything he put sam through, how he left him in that panic room and almost killed him, how he's treated him for the past year. how it was a demon who tried to help in the end and an angel that damned them

and how sam saved him anyway, damn the consequences

we should have returned to what the show had been building up to from the beginning - that sam loves his brother enough to do terrible things and dean has no idea how to deal with that

so we've got sam and dean on the run with ruby, castiel's slower and much juicier redemption arc, and dean having to pick up the pieces of himself while sam tries to figure out how he gets them out this mess. and sam's guilt is justified here, his aching sense of responsibility, because this time he kills lilith knowing it'll free lucifer. he makes that choice, for dean. and he's determined to fix it

just. demon blood tainted sam and turncoat ruby trying to save the world. the angels trying to end it. all while dean finally accepts the crushing guilt of what he's done and starts to work through it, starts to work on becoming the brother sam lost, on once more being the steady thing sam can hold onto no matter what it takes, because sam choosing him reminds him of something he'd told himself he forgot

he doesn't want to be a righteous man, a torturer, a demon, a victim, a martyr

he just wants to be sam's brother. the one he looks up to, depends on, loves

he wants what he's always wanted

to feel worthy of his little brother's affection

[demonlorddiva]

Obey me! Brothers when your drunk!

You did really good on a test you’ve been working on and Diavolo said you could have anything you wanted! Any other human would ask for money, a vacation, or anything their hearts desired. But you? Your simple. Without the ability to buy human world alcohol in the devildom you asked diavolo to pick you up some for a night of fun! (And chaos) you decide that staying home and drinking is the best option as to not be in danger of other demons. How will the other brothers react?

*Obvi the reader is over 21 or the age of consuming alcohol in their country

Lucifer

You decided that since drinking demonus with him was one of your regular dates in his office, you could do the same thing and drink with him!

He’s glad to see you don’t want to leave the house. And that you want to drink with him makes him even more at ease

Plus his pride is soaring that hes the first person to see you drunk

The night is simple, drinks, music, and a wonderful conversation

It’s not often he gets to let loose and drink to his hearts desire, and with you? What a better time

If your walking funny he immediately picks you up and takes you to his room at the end of the night

He wants to make sure your okay through the night (and he wants to cuddle) (he’s v affectionate when he’s drunk)

He knew the night was happening, so by his bedside is pain meds, water, electrolytes, the whole nine yards

Will cuddle you in the morning and tease you about the silly things you said

Mammon

PARTY TIMEEEEE

You don’t wanna leave the house

He whines

You put your foot down

INDOOR PARTY TIMEEEE

You know he has his room set up for the perfect movie night, pillows, blankets, popcorn, the whole nine yards

Has a drinking game set up so you both can play

And ofc he set up the rules so you would both be hammered even before the movie ended

But the popcorn ran out and you guys are still hungry

Y’all have to hold hands as you go downstairs to the kitchen to make some instant noodles for each other

Lucifer catches y’all being too rowdy and forces y’all to go to bed

Mammon is absolutely WRECKED when he’s hungover (the hangsiety is real) not to mention his head pounding and his stomach hurting

You both spend the next day cuddling, with you telling him how much you love him, and how you think he’s still so cool even after you saw him faceplant on the floor

Levi

A night??? With you??? And you’ll be drunk??

He assures you multiple times that your safe and he absolutely doesn’t want to take advantage of you (not that you were worried in the slightest about that) (Levi bb calm down)

Y’all decide to play devil beerio kart (it’s like beerio kart if you’ve ever played, I’ll explain the rules)

Basically NO DRUNK DRIVING

During one race, you have to finish your beer (or other drink) you can drink it all before the race, stop any time in between, or stop before you finish the race and chug your drink

After a few races y’all are LIT

You guys end up yapping for a while before you put on an anime and cuddle (Levi’s to drunk to be nervous)

When you both wake up your hurting and hungover and Levi is FREAKING

The hangsiety is real with him

Just keep cuddling with him and tell him it’s okay and to fall back asleep

Satan

He seems like the guy who doesn’t care to drink

But for you? And to see you drink? But of course

I think y’all pull out a board game or card game and take a shot every time you lose

He’s curious after every drink how your feeling even though his ability to remember things is getting fogged

He’s giggly when he’s drunk, and that’s a somewhat rare sight in your day to day life so you spend the rest of the night laughing and talking

Hates that your hurting in the morning (even though this was your idea)

Has all the medicines and drinks for you on hand to help you feel better

Demands silence in the house so your headache doesn’t get worse

Asmo

PARTY TIME

I mean.. this is a special occasion right? Just because you can’t leave the house doesn’t mean you can’t have fun!

A slumber party is in order with all the works! Face masks, popcorn and snacks, and doing your nails of course.

Y’all get silly and chat and gossip all night

But you have to tell him NO PICTURES even if he begs

I feel like y’all get super sappy drunk girl talking

“NO YOUR THE GREATEST PERSON IVE MET”

At some point, after a bit of drinking someone (both of ya) get the great idea to start prank calling people

You: “is your refrigerator running?”

Beel: “uhhh yeah”

You: “well then you better go catch it!!” *click*

The other brothers had to deal with Beel guarding the fridge in fear that it would ‘run away’

We all know you guys are BIG BABIES the next day being hungover

Be prepared to cuddle and complain together all the next day

Beel

He also doesn’t seem to be a drinking guy

But he’s down to try anything! I think he’d like cocktails with fun ingredients

DEF loves Bloody Mary’s

So I think that’s the night, y’all spend your night in the kitchen coming up with different drinks and getting drunker along the way

Y’all order WAYYY too much Chinese takeout and have a great time

Feel like beel gets sappy when he’s tipsy and tells you how much he cares about you and y’all snuggle and stuff

Makes you a DELICIOUS hangover meal for you

Like a Waffle House setup but at home

Def cuddles you and is worried if you feel bad the next day (I feel like beel doesn’t get hangovers)

Belphie

Feel like he’s not a drinker as well

But the opportunity to drink with you? And he’s the only one who can see? Oh yeah he needs to see this

Y’all decide a movie drinking game.

Example: watch pirates of the Caribbean and drink every time they say captain or ship

Y’all get lit QUICK

Decide to pull a prank on Lucifer and you guys talk FOREVER about the plan, what your gonna do and it’s happening TONIGHT

.. queue YALL falling asleep and never do anything LMAO

The next day is full of bedrotting and sleeping

He makes fun of you for anything silly you did

But you can make fun of him back, the way he was stumbling was really funny

In true drinking fashion I wrote this while I was drunk HELLO

Obviously not proofread love you!!! Been really sad about the story not continuing with obey me so I’ll be posting my drafts and more ideas a bit more often for a while

[revelboo]

the recent development with 'everything is alright' has me wondering about king starscream and how... lonely he seems. granted rattrap is there but hes... not much company in stars mind, i think. like dont get me wrong i knew he'd be lonely and a little on the right side of miserable, but that in tandem with the bit about 'dont you know you're home/his future/the one good thing in his life' bit from the last chapter has me!! chokign up a bit cuz damn he really wasnt kidding!!! he got what he wanted but at the cost of still being miserable bc its fuckin LONELY at the top when youre paranoid as all hell with VERY REAL justifications to back said paranoia up!!! god!!!

Yeah, King Star isn’t all that happy. I do like playing with different versions of the same character and just tweaking the circumstances. In Everything is Alright he’s alienated himself from his Trine due to his paranoia, in True Romance he still trusts his Trine and has that relationship, so he’s a lot less paranoid and lonely, in Overdone his Trine just drifted apart. He could have made more of an effort to connect and reach out, but he was so focused on his goals, he didn’t really notice that gap widening until they’re almost strangers to each other

Overdone Pt 2

IDW RID Starscream x Reader

• “You’re weren’t on earth, were you?” He asks when Rattrap gawks at the human in his grip. Striding past, he heads for his private habsuite. Hears Rattrap weakly call out about the reports and he ignores him. They can wait. But you? A human from nowhere plummeting to your death. Closing the door behind himself, he studies you as you cling to his servos. Timid for a spy. “Well?” He growls, depositing you on his desk. “Where did you come from?” Who sent you to spy on him? Wants to know so he can and deliver your broken body to them.

• Falling on your hip, you stare at the big monster and his wings flare out. Trying to say something, anything, when you’re too terrified to make a sound. You’d been driving and then crippling pain had slammed through you, feeling like being torn in two. And then finding yourself somewhere wholly different falling to your death. It’s a nightmare and you can’t wake up. Lip curling, he slams his huge palms down far too close to you and you scream and cringe into a ball. “Speak! Who are you working for?” He roars.

• Pretending at terror? No, venting softly as that acrid shift in your scent registers, he leans back. Not an act. “I don’t know! I don’t know anything!” You cry, little voice broken and terrified and his wings droop slightly. Maybe you’re telling the truth, but you came from somewhere. Humans don’t spontaneously teleport across space and time. Except you apparently had. Servos tapping on the desk, he glares at you and the problem you pose. If you are a spy? An autobot ally sent to undermine him? Why risk your death? If he hadn’t grabbed you, you would have died. Maybe whoever had dropped you meant to see what he’d do and you’re of no importance to them beyond as an expendable pawn?

• “Stop cowering and sniveling,” he growls and you risk a glance at that scowling face, see his optics narrow at you. “If you show your fear, others will use that against you.” Heart hammering against your ribs, you watch him pace around the huge room. And when he’s not looking at you, you can breathe. Try to get your bearings. You have no idea where you are or how you got here, but it had hurt worse than anything you’ve ever felt. Tracking him as he lifts a hand, murmuring, you realize he’s talking to himself at the same time it sinks past the fear that he’d caught you when you’d been falling. He’d saved you.

• Why had he saved you? Because you’re not a monster not matter how much you pretend you are, that annoying, little ghost whispers and he curls his lip. “You know nothing.” Refuses to look, to let his processor trick him with impossible things. Would think maybe you’re a hallucination, too. Except he’d felt your little heart beating against his servos, the warmth of your body in his hands. He’s not mad enough to imagine details like that, yet. Though for you to appear when he was considering not pulling up? Are you a punishment? Drifting back to the desk, his head tips with predatory interest as he rests a servo against your throat and you lay a soft hand on him. You feel real. “Tell me why I shouldn’t rid myself of you. Make me believe you’re no spy.”

Previous

Next

[sugudoe]

more headcanons but don't know what to do? what to write for? MAY I SUGGEST 🫵 JJK X SICK READER. HOW THE BOYS CARE FOR THEIR PARTNER.

ᡴꪫ a/n: hii, this took so long to be answered, but here it is!! gojo, for me, fix himself in all of this categories, but i put him in the first two, because he might be a little shit to anyone weaker than him, but never his loved one, right? idk, actually. @emilyywhyy

ᡴꪫ cw: sickness symptoms such as vomiting and headache \\ fluff and crack \\ english is not my first language

📲────𝗁𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖺𝗅 𓏸ㅤ۪ ︶ྀི

You don’t want to admit that you are sick. You will say that your nose is running because of weather change, and your shivers are, also, caused by weather change. You are fine, healthy as a horse ── except that the horse is nearly dying.

Don’t call attention, you think. So, you dress yourself in your uniform, and go to work.

He spot your illness right away, and have none of it. Grabbing your hands and taking you to your home. You can complain all you want, he doesn’t give a single fuck. You think you are above this sickness, but he knows better.

“Stop pouting.” He scoffs, as gently as a scoff can sound.

You, however, don’t stop. Even if you really, really want to. Because, after all, he has you wearing a comfortable pajama, sitting on the couch, and he is feeding you soup with bread.

The shower was hot, the medicines were taken, the carefulness of it all ── you love him, and he loves you. You will not say it, besides a small thank you. And he, the bastard with a smirk, will say “It’s alright.”

The pout is long gone, by now. You are desperate to sleep, and he lets you with ease, no kisses on the head, even if you complain (he will, a single peck). And while you fall to slumber, he will clean the house, keep tissues by your bed and, like a fucking psychic, a bow as well.

Throwing up in front of your boyfriend is not on the list of Things To Do With Your Love! But, hey, if he loves you while vomiting your organs out, maybe that’s good. Right?

Yes!

He is soothing, and calm, and collected. Let it be know, throughout your dazed weak state, that the moment you become healthy, he must be prepared to be smothered by your kisses.

He accepts them all, of course.

NANAMI, SUGURU, HIGURUMA, MEGUMI, SHIU, KOKICHI, NORITOSHI, GOJO

📲────𝖼𝗎𝗍𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖽𝗎𝗆𝖻 𓏸ㅤ۪ ︶ྀི

Oh, poor baby! No, not you, him. Yes, you’re sick, yes, the world is hammering your head. But, look at him, desperate eyes and clueless questions. So cute.

You didn’t got up from the bed today, and he leave you to it thinking you need your energy back from work, not knowing that you are dying. Dramatic, aren’t you? Yes, the light in the room is murderous, as much as the sound of him making food, but you can’t do anything about it, except try to sleep.

He can only take much of your absence before growing clingy. So, he marches his way to your room, and… where are you? “Bathroom,” you answer amidst a cry.

The light is turned off, and you are showering with your clothes. Weird little thing you are. Dumb little thing he is. Still not acknowledging your sickness. Not until you tell him, and like that, his brain goes into normal human being mode.

He showers with you, making you stand and lean on his also clothed body, you close your eyes and whimpers happily while he pretends the hot water isn’t burning his skin whole. More minutes in, he changes you both to warm sweaters, and guide you to the kitchen ── is nuggets good to eat while sick?

No. But you do anyways, and asks him to buy soup. He does, easily. Except, he buys all flavors, to the point where you know the sickness will go away and you still will have soup in your refrigerator.

He will feed you, cooing at your crying face. And, he will also lick the spoon. Dumb bitch, you think.

He knows where the medicines are, so he brings them all to you. You search until you find the one you need, and a glass with water is being given to you ── can you drink cold water? Probably no, but, again, you do anyways.

He is a cute sight for such a painful time. He does everything accordingly, even if he might make some mistakes. But, don’t worry, next time he will be prepared… A bit.

CHOSO, YUUJI, TOGE, JUNPEI, GOJO, YUTA, TAKUMA,

📲────𝖺𝗀𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𓏸ㅤ۪ ︶ྀི

He knows you are sick, and it’s not as if he doesn’t care, but he simply forgets that some people ── you ── are not as strong as he is.

So, fend yourself, love.

Just kidding. Kinda.

The thing is, he might be the not cute clueless boyfriend, but he learns quick, okay?

So, the first few hours, he will keep coming back to the room, trying to see if you woke up, even checking your pulse, when it become too much. And, when it does, it finally clicks to him, you’re sick as fuck.

Effortlessly, he raises you from the bed and give you a shower, holding your sleepy head while mumbling with himself. He might have said something rude, you won’t ever know, because he is massaging your head right now, and that’s the only thing that matters.

He puts you back in bed with one of his shirts and panties, and he rolls you on the covers like a burrito, before grabbing your burritoself to the living room.

He gives you medicine. It might not be the exact one you need, and just the first pill he seen, but it does ease the feeling. He, also, leave you alone on the carpeted floor before returning with soup and more medicine, this time it’s the right.

You feed yourself under his cautious eyes, he only does when your wobbling fingers bothers him, with a “Tsk” he feeds you.

You want to laugh. “Can you do an airplane?”

You finish feeding yourself. Worth it, though.

He comes back later, manhandling you again, to the bed. Surprisingly, he lies you on top of him, caressing your back and your head, kissing your temple and calling you his weak little thing, that he actually loves. Well, he doesn’t say that exactly, but you rather see it as that, even in your dazed state.

SUKUNA, TOJI, KUSAKABE

[inferno-0]

okay, I been having this idea I don't know if you will like it, since is not a ship, buuuuut

I like to imagine a child or toodler! Reader, whose family was negligent with them, making them being alone all the time, one day, running away from home, finding a kaiju and getting attached to it, follow it around, like, finding the parent they never have, how the kaijus will react to a small sad little human not fearing them?

I wrote this with such pleasure, I hope you like it.

BOUND | All Titans x ChildHuman!Reader |

╰┈➤ Warning: English is not my native language.

A child always needs an eye and an eye, given his curiosity about the world. Your parents did not pay much attention to this, completely immersing themselves in work and taking their time only for documents and finances. There is a rule that you need to remember all your life: If the child is quiet, then it is not good.

Meeting a Titan on your way is the most intense detail in your life, especially when he himself is attached to you.

Godzilla

➤ You managed to meet this big guy on the beach, shrouded in sleep and not paying attention to the world around him. At least he doesn't smell you, although an unfamiliar smell still hammered into his nostrils, forcing them to reflexively dilate. A little more and you would be sucked in... The golden gaze was pierced by the rays, and then by the timid you, watching him. Godzilla caught your little figure. Sighing deeply, but realizing that he was not an adult human at all, he continued to warm his scales in the sun. Now it's your turn. Children tend to have no fear at this age until they see a really distorted face, but now it's a big dinosaur that was shown on TV. Your joy knows no bounds, and the desire to get to know each other can be reduced endlessly. Godzilla realized that you won't leave anytime soon, but he tries not to move when he feels your little legs on his sturdy skull.

Mothra/Mosura

➤ Your sad eyes immediately lit up when you saw her in a white light. Mothra found you herself, accidentally finding you in the middle of the forest, leading straight to the temple. The Monster Queen, as soon as she saw you from afar, realized that you were not an adult. In front of her is a child. A human child. Your parents clearly don't look after you well, don't they? Softly chirping at your exclamations, her forelimb slowly approached you as a sign of acquaintance. Your palm pressed against the sharp "paw", taking on its entire appearance and natural essence. She is pleased that you are not afraid of her, but there is one problem. Do I need to send you back to your parents? Mosura knows that such an acquaintance will result in an endless encounter with you. But who objects? Your relatives are clearly not worried about your condition. The Monster Queen is not sure of how exactly to treat little people, but she knows one thing for sure.

It will make you the kindest and most responsible person.

Rodan

➤ If I say that you climbed into a volcano, then I will end the story with it. Let's just remember that Rodan is no longer hibernating, but flying over the islands. An accidental collision with you led to the pursuit of a poor bird desperately running away from your attention. Are you all so nimble? It's just that Rodan is amused by your desperate run in his direction. Come on, baby, a couple more laps and I will be able to walk freely around this place. The big pteranodon was confused when he saw your tears as he retreated. You definitely don't want him to leave you. Rodan was surprised at your courage, but he knows nothing about the treatment of children. Kaiju understands that you are small and fragile, you can hardly survive without an older face, right? The Titan still stayed to watch you. Oddly enough, he liked the way you stroked his beak, although he was quite hot, but he tried to make the most optimal temperature for you. Seeing your happy smile, Rodan understood. He won't get bored with you.

King Ghidorah

➤ Do you remember how I said that children are quite inquisitive? So. Such a quality can take you to very bad "Nannies". But who is complaining? Well, certainly not your parents, who do not know at all where their brood is. Disgrace. Ghidorah grinned at your bright eyes. You clearly did not know who you were with now and what threatened you after this meeting. They are not in a hurry with you, but for now they are just observing and analyzing behavior. Brave and naïve, but for some reason unhappy. Aren't you impressed by their size? Intimidating teeth that can break you? None of this. Three heads have lowered themselves to your level to get a better look at you. They're like distant relatives trying to figure out who you're more like. But only curiosity plays a role here. They have never seen a human child up close, especially one who is not afraid of them. San clearly liked you more than anyone else and he has already begun to melt under your gentle palm than the other two, who look at each other and think about what to do with you? Ichi and Ni only grinned, creating an eerie atmosphere around them. It seems that three personalities will settle in you at once, and which of them will manifest itself more often depends on you.

Shimo

➤ Shimo herself is like a child, only adapting to the ground. Her curiosity is the same as yours, and I don't think she'll be able to keep track of you. But this Titan will still protect you from any dangers around you. You're just a little Titan who needs a parent. Perhaps Shimo's maternal instinct will pull its threads, and you will be completely safe, but she is quite cold with her. Your warm palms try to warm her, but unfortunately she still returns her temperature. She just can't control it, you know? Living in confinement in the middle of lava, as they say, in hot heat, was terrible for her. This reflex of constant cold irritates her and she cannot reduce it even when she is already in her climate. Shimo appreciated your desire to help her, but she would not refuse moral help. At the moment, she needs help looking after you.

King Kong

➤ Kong was a little confused when he saw you alone and running after him. Where were your parents, brave warriors? The Titan instantly realized as he crouched on one knee to see you. The size difference was enormous, but it wasn't a problem for you. The king of the hollow earth was scratching his head now, not knowing what to do with you next. Find your parents? I think this will lead to a lot of panic among the population in which you live. King Kong was still gently holding you in his palm, trying not to let you go deep into the forest. The Big Boy had practically nothing else to do, but remembering his connection with your smaller brothers, he understood where to direct him. Jia. Although the rest of the Monarch's crew would take it more seriously, he trusted Jia more. I think she will understand what exactly needs to be done with you, right? In the meantime, enjoy a walk with him, because you have a lot to learn about each other.

M.U.T.O

➤ It was a little strange to see her in a rather peaceful state with you. The female Muto was initially neutral about your presence, but the behavior was not hostile simply because it didn't make sense. You didn't touch her, and she doesn't touch you. Although she was interested. Well, a small percentage, let's say more confidently. The Titan was extremely surprised by your pursuit, and not by the retreat from her large figure. She didn't even try to drive you away, but she tried to keep you out of where you shouldn't go. Unfortunately, she had no offspring, but she considered your company quite good. You were not an enemy or someone who had the ability to shoot her, but just a child whose parents spat on proper upbringing. He walks and walks, what's the problem with that? Muto decided to keep you to herself, making crackling noises at your pleasant caresses. Perhaps you will have a new Mother whom you will not want to give up.

[seat-safety-switch]

Have you ever thought about how weird it is that you can buy pineapples at the grocery store? Someone pulled this shit off a tree tens of thousands of kilometers away, and then sent it to me. If I don't buy it, they'll just throw it in the trash.

Global trade is a really remarkable invention of our species. My neighbour's Hyundai was born in South Korea, shipped here on a boat, and will never see its mother or most of its siblings again. Even so, it was only slightly more expensive than a locally-made Ford. Sorry, did I say "locally-made?" That was also made in a different country and shipped here under duress. We don't even notice such a miracle unless we check the registration.

My Volare was sent here from The America, a country which has been going through some rough times lately. I figured that maybe it would want to go back and see Missouri, its land of creation, at least once. That Hyundai would never get the opportunity: who would bundle an Elantra into a steamer ship? Driving there, though, was basically feasible. Well, feasible for anyone who wasn't operating a badly-maintained, 47-year-old example of one of Mopar's shittiest cars.

You guessed it: I broke down at the end of my block. There is good news, though. A couple months ago, I found a bicycle clogging the sewage drain near my office, and I was able to bang it mostly straight with a hammer. Ever since then, I've been throwing it in the trunk, and using it to ride home whenever one of my cars leave me stranded. It's been great for my cardio, but more importantly, it was built here. Plans changed. Volare out, whatever this bicycle is "in." I rode it to the bike shop that assembled it, stopping periodically to ingest fried food, craft beer, and ice cream so as not to unnecessarily improve my health from over-exercise.

Unfortunately for everyone, when I got to the bike store, the snooty repair-shop crew considered my quest incomplete. They didn't make the bikes there, just threw them together. The frame and wheels had come from China, they explained, a big integrated factory that punches out the parts, spitting out thousands of proto-bikes per second without any form of human involvement. You'd have to get on a plane and take it to go visit the mothership in Guangdong.

Confronted with the choice to either abandon my quest or willingly board a Boeing product, I decided to take the safer route and return home. Perhaps it was foolish to try and figure out the maternal bonds of soulless, inanimate methods of transportation. Or perhaps I just picked the wrong kind of product, I decided, picking up an apple at the grocery store on my way home. Surely, this thing came from here, I thought right before I read the label.

As soon as I figure out where "Northern Spy" is, you'll be the first to know.

[omghallucinations]

Bang Chan Chart Analysis: in the weeds edition

chart patterns, degrees, fixed stars, aspects, final dispositors, basically all kind of deeper cuts.

ah, bang chan: a double libra gemini rising whose other planets are acting up so much i barely even touched on venus and mercury somehow

like he's clearly an air sign in every respect--he loooOOOves to talk, he's curious and interested in a lot of different things, he's never met a secret he doesn't want to immediately tell five hundred thousand people on live... but damn some of those other planets (saturn, mars, jupiter, uranus) are loud.

right away i noticed his chart is a bucket chart--every planet is in one half of the circle, except for one planet who becomes the "handle": his aries saturn. saturn is hammering all the other planets on the head so to speak.

saturn: you'll have to come through me motherfuckers

saturn is screaming it's ME i'm the BIG BOSS and as the handle, a lot of things in chan's life are gonna be based on or deal with--for better or worse--saturn stuff (maturation, fear, control, authority, judgment). chan's saturn automatically rockets to the top of his Big Boss list (it will not stay here tho, we've got some other bosses coming).

saturn is in its fall in aries--it doesn't speak the language there. any planet in its fall is usually marked down in influence but i also think it makes the planet more important? chan has to struggle with it. a saturn at home in capricorn (barring other chart factors) is very natural. 8/9 members of girls generation have saturn in capricorn and wow does that make sense. saturn in capricorn prizes Work and is self-conscious/guilty of its feelings (feelings are not productive), it's alllways anxious it hasn't done enough, it is very scared of disappointing people, it's deeply conscious of societal conditioning.

aries is a weird sign for saturn to be in. saturn has a lot of fear, and aries has a lot of fearlessness. aries is a baby and saturn is all about maturation. aries is about acting without thinking, saturn is about making a list and checking it 5 times then deciding not to do it just in case.

and then. this is fun. saturn goes on the big boss list again because it is unaspected--this doesn't mean there aren't aspects, it means there are no major aspects to other planets. when a planet is unaspected, everyone around you can sure as fuck see the hell out of it, but you can't really. it's center stage but not in the play.

bang chan: i am the cutest, fuzziest lil libra guy :) i just care about my work which is normal :) and i express that care in a very reasonable and chill way :) i just want things to be good! :) everyone around him, shaking in fear from his scathing judgment and innate leadership aura: uh-huh

an unaspected planet is usually a generational thing--chan really popped up like hey girl :) i'm here to really personify our family problems of work, judgement, fear and maturation and just like. make 'em huge and unavoidable. haha. :)

chan's gonna show real extremes of behavior around his saturn, which

in aries seems like it's dealing with issues of creation, self-determination, doing it on my own, that kind of stuff (so he'll deny himself or assert himself too much in turns)

in the 11th house backs that up--the 11th is the aquarius house, so saturn is in aries (a "me" sign) in a "we" (in a sort of detached intellectual sense) house

11th/aquarius usually wants to set u free :) but in a kind of back-handed passy aggy harry styles way, like "i love you so i'll set you free, because i am such an open-minded person, unlike other people (who are tethered to humanity which is both embarrassing and scary to me yuck), also setting you free is less terrifying to me than being perceived :) go with god :) bye :)"

it's in the sun decan, so there's a flavor of "look at me look at me" and identity formation (am i what i produce?)

saturn's most exact aspect is sesquisquare mars which acts a lot like a square, my favorite aspect! squares get such a bad rap but i think they're so much better for your life in the long run bc they force you to deal with things. his mars is in sagittarius, so we have a double fire sign situation: explosive, passionate, loves attention and creation. mars, who also gets a bad rap, is our survival planet. it's like, how are you gonna survive this. how are you gonna get what you want and defend yourself and win (if you care about winning) (chan cares about winning).

sagittarius mars is gonna go forward kind of joyfully but also in a "fuck you lmao" way. it's courageous bc it doesn't really think anything could go actually wrong. it's gonna Leave if it's bored (and it's already bored). it's gonna wide-angle zoom on the situation and be like "lol embarrassing... for you" and feel 100% sure it's right All The Time. sesquisquare saturn tries to control this force, adds a bunch of fear and repression and Issues (and often in later life, wisdom), so -> chan's gonna really be afraid of his own anger, of losing control of his temper -> ironically he will be unable to stop bouncing between these two extremes to various degrees. u can't control what u can't accept my dude. -> he's also afraid of not being in power, of not winning -> the me/we extreme will also come into play--especially with his sun and moon in libra (that's their whole Thing) sagittarius says "i'm right for objective, philosophical reasons" and aries says "i'm right because i just am bro i don't have to explain myself to you" mars in the 6th house--that drive to assert himself is gonna really go hard at work and in his daily life. this is a #gymbro placement for sure. his daily routine is Let's Fuckin Go At 150% -> his 11th house (where saturn is), loves the idea of people, community, his ideals, is detached from humanity and it comes into conflict with -> his 6th house, which is very much of the world, very critical, very let's get actual shit done and be of service to people sidebar, mars is exactly conjunct the asteroid quaoar-- creation, making new rules and structures, diverging from how things Have Always Been Done, please hold this thought for his uranus, coming up soon

libra moon at 29 degrees: heard u were desperately trying to maintain equilibrium for emotional security reasons lol

another planet i'm eyeing is his libra moon which is in the anaretic degree, 29. he's very good at this energy but it's gonna test him. with his libra moon he needs contact and dialogue with people to feel secure but it can't get too deep because that's gonna freak him out. he is super comfortable being vulnerable and emotional on the internet because the internet is not real. i mean it's real, but it doesn't feel real. it's the equivalent of over-intellecualising your feelings so you don't actually feel anything (which an air moon always enjoys, as a hobby). just like it's way easier and less scary to be in love with an idea of a person, rather than the actual person! the actual person can really fuck up ur moodboard!

chan needs things to be pretty, equal, even-keeled. libra is such a funny sign because often it gets flattened to this like "cutey pie flirt" stereotype which i would say is almost exclusively libra venus. libra is a cardinal sign--an acting, initiating sign--and can be a lot more controlling than it likes to pretend imo. it's also in his sixth house--he's gonna feel safe when he can be of service to others, when he can get things done, when he can edit shit, basically.

he's also a new moon baby, which gives a moon a fun, aries-y, baby-tries-(food)-for-the-first-time vibe. removes a lot of those libra inhibitions and adds a lot of need to feel special.

chan is so good at making sure he feels safe by trying to keep everything cute and not too deep and staying on the surface or removed from the situation through constant activity and like, pruning everything, trying to perfect everything (therefore not having to actually deal with anything). howmstever, this system is gonna repeatedly implode throughout his life. soz bud. his emotional foundation's gonna get pummeled on and off which sucks because he has an almost manic need

for emotional safety through strategic diplomacy and avoiding confrontation

for emotional safety through constant work and "perfecting" everything

for people to like him everyone needs to like him or he will die

(not the real him, that makes him nervous, the projection of him that he painstakingly curates, that is safer)

it's not especially fun to deal with.

bright side, wisdom in later life!

mercury, ruler of chan's ascendant: pretty much exactly what you'd expect?

as a gemini rising, chan's ruler is his mercury in libra in the 5th but ironically i don't feel like she's as major of a player as some of these other planets. you can see the communication and curiosity focus of his life, and in the 5th house of self-expression, creation. mercury is sextile mars and pluto, a talent for making his voice heard and powerful, trine uranus in the 9th he's confident about and believes in his unique voice/perspective.

like mercury is there and she's important, but she's not like. causing big waves? it's like his life direction, again, important, but i'm more intrigued by...

mars conjunct pluto opposite his ascendant: oh boy!

this is his one big opposition and it's on the gemini-sagittarius axis (my fave, she's just fun and curious, she's not super dramatic or that difficult although she doesn't exactly make it easy to make... decisions... or get anything done?). however if we were worried about getting shit done, mars and pluto are here to scream. mars conjunct pluto is exactly as dramatic as sagittarius-gemini is not.

this is an exact conjunction and it's wild. anything pluto touches blows up in a way. it makes it intense and secretive and adds the planet to its portfolio of unconscious past life soul security demands.

lmao i just realized that red lights is fully this conjunction lmao oh no. i don't know if i can talk about this conjunction normally. it's very... ... nsfw.

sometimes pluto conjunct mars forces mars into the background and makes the person afraid to assert themselves, but i don't think that's exactly the vibe here, although it's similar. it looks to me like chan has a lot of rage and anger in him that, with his libra placements, he probably has a very difficult time acknowledging or facing. he'll easily internalize it and turn it inward and be a real asshole to himself, and also his temper will flare up randomly and he'll go for the kill shot when he meant to communicate like a normal person. he has a lot of strong desires, he also wants power, but he's gonna hide it and run from the reality there. he does have almost inhuman will, courage and drive tho, he can truly endure anything.

(idk i think he should be a little worried about his physical body, so many of his coping mechanisms depend on exercise/endurance and with pluto--transformation, security--in the sixth house i worry his health might force transformation? ur body can't carry all of ur unspoken shit my bud?)

gemini rising wants to seem very fun, very friendly, very cute, but with mars and pluto on his descendant chan is almost hiding or ignoring a huge part of himself--all those darker impulses which aren't going anywhere. my guy loves a taboo and (redacted redacted redacted redacted REDACTEDDDD). whatever, it's good for creativity and in sagittarius he has a good sense of humor about it.

jupiter: uno reverso???

damn chan really got #blessed here, a lot of that chart was really screaming Issues, Internalized Rage, Fear, Depression, etc, but jupiter really bounced up to be like "never mind haha. i mean yeah, true, but also whatever"

first of all jupiter is in its home house, the 9th--chan's on a Journey, he's eat pray loving, he's Listening and Learning--and it's in aquarius, so that belief system and personal philosophy is gonna be very open-minded, very science fiction, very predicting trends, very ahead of society.

jupiter conjunct his MC: this is what pulls jupiter up to the big boss list. anything conjunct your MC is at the top of your chart--people see it. people notice it about you. and goddamn are people just gonna give him stuff. and they always have. no wonder jyp was like This Is My Special Boy, like that is jupiter conjunct MC to a t.

(the public perception of chan is also gonna be a lot... cuter and more exuberant and fun than the actual man. not that he's not those things. just that the jupiter of his personality is really what people are noticing about him from the outside: his personal vision, his expansive side, all that. they are not looking at that prominent saturn as much, even if saturn is a bigger player)

jupiter trine the sun: another one where people are just gonna like you. for one thing they'll notice chan's good intentions and generosity--altho they will also notice his tendency to moralise and be a liiiiittle condescending--but his tendency towards bouncy optimism (at least outwardly) makes people want to follow him aquarius jupiter trine libra sun: two "we" signs in a big way, except aquarius is "we" like "humanity" and libra is "we" like "you and me", but they unite in a tendency to conflate the personal identity with the group identity--with jupiter and the sun at play it's like chan is able to bring people on board with his identity and personal vision (but he often presents an idealised version of himself who does not have needs, somehow) 9th house trine 5th house: basically a repeat of jupiter-sun, since the 5th house is the leo house--chan has a talent for using his personal philosophy/vision in creative works

our final big boss of the night, perhaps the ultimate big boss: aquarius uranus

chan's aquarius uranus is really talking to everybody. it has by far the most aspects of any planet. uranus has its hand in his ascendant and every planet except jupiter and neptune. with modern rulers aquarius is at home in uranus, and i'm coming around a little bit on modern rulership even if i think it tends to be less prominent than traditional. still:

aquarius uranus: original thought, technological progress, your box is dumb i'm not going in there uranus in the 9th house: he's gonna have an offbeat belief system--no chance he buys into korea's societal norms, or anyone's societal norms for that matter. he's not a conformist. trine his gemini ascendant: whooooo boy he is really not a conformist. when he's not in a Mood he's not judgmental at all, even when he's in a mood he has a real benevolent Ah, Humanity Should All Be Free to Pursue Happiness vibe. gemini couldn't give a shit about morals, and uranus and aquarius think morals are bourgeois. he has a talent for his own difference--some uranus people (like most of ateez, my weirdo darlings) have chips on their shoulders about being different, but chan with his easy trine is just happy to be himself. i mean a trine uranus isn't gonna change the world (unlike harder aspects like squares, who would be more driven to do so) but he is gonna set a good example just through his identity.

this is a fun side of chan! i like this!

square moon: mmmm ok about that chip on his shoulder. although it's not really about being different--it's more about he both wants to be stable and emotionally secure and also free and independent and he's soooooooo fucking stubborn (but he doesn't see it that way because he's Right, not stubborn). he's prone to feeling really itchy and stuck and then making big changes out of nowhere. also he's very intuitive but overly sensitive and when he's hurt he's gonna shut down completely and not tell the person what they did wrong. didn't he give someone the silent treatment? jisung? yeah that's uranus square moon energy. he has a lot of fear around his emotions and only lets himself feel in short sharp bursts. he feels hurt and he cuts out the person immediately without warning to protect himself--even if it's completely illogical he will dupe himself into believing it is very logical and correct, actually libra moon square aquarius uranus: yeah this looks like a "keep the peace even if it is unhealthy" v. "radical change out of nowhere the tower ass" argument, he'll bounce between the two extremes again. heyyy gemini rising i didn't even see u there!!

man. really haven't gotten into everything including his sun in libra (in its fall), his nodes (classic idol 5th-11th axis, soooo many of them have this), etc, but i've been working on this for so long!! aughhH!!

ok drumroll please, let's gather up his chart big players!! normally i would rank these, but i keep changing my mind.

aquarius uranus

aquarius jupiter

sagittarius mars-pluto conjunction

aries saturn

libra mercury (2nd to lastish)

libra moon (definitely last on this list)

tentatively i'm gonna put uranus-jupiter tied at 1, then mars-pluto then saturn then mercury. ugh i don't know though. they're all big players! chan in general has one of those spread-out charts--when you look at the ruler of each planet, he has what's called a "committee" tree

where there isn't one or two final bosses, and the planets are all connected in one tree rather than being separate. you can see how chan's 3 top planets are sag mars, aquarius jupiter and aries saturn--they all work together and are super interconnected. he's not as single-minded as someone with a singular dispositor (ateez hongjoong has a singular final dispositor tree with his pisces jupiter) but also not as split or conflicted as someone who has split trees (ateez seonghwa has a planet in rulership tree with separate parts).

anyway this has been really interesting! for someone with what seems at first glance to be a very unified chart (air moon, air sun, air rising) he has some interesting conflicting energies--altho i'm sure he sees himself as just an air person. i'm sure he is lowkey aware of that mars and pluto conjunction but i'd bet he really pretends he does not see it (except for in REDACTED REDACTED EXTREMELY REDACTED situations), and he truly cannot see his saturn at all (altho everyone else can!).

[deadhands69]

*❆ White Elephant: Jututsu Kaisen ❆*

What happens when you select their white elephant gift? *This is absolute crack and in no way did I put any consideration into where in time it occurs/what side you’re on/why all of these people/curses somehow got along well enough for a holiday gathering together. **yes, i’m very aware of how out of context the header image is

Gojo: This one is wrapped… interestingly. It doesn’t look bad by any means, the shiny white paper is just folded in a way that feels like it should defy physics. Upon opening, a small strange object falls out. You’ve never seen anything quite like it and its presence weighs heavily on you. You’re about 90% sure that thing is cursed beyond reason and there’s absolutely no way you’re bringing it home with you.

Did he just forget and pick up the first thing he saw on his desk? Absolutely.

Itadori: You selected this one because you can tell someone put so much love into wrapping it. Sure, it looks a little sloppy with the twisted ribbon and fold marks on the cute snowman printed paper, but A+ for effort. When you open it, you find a silly coffee mug filled with random odds and ends. A cute keychain. Human Earthworm action figure. And an assortment of stickers. Overall, a pretty thoughtful gift.

Todo: With the nice reusable gift bag, this one caught your eye. Worst case, you still get a cool bag. Once you open it, you peel back the layers of protective paper to find - a framed photo of Nobuko Takada. What else did you expect? 

Maki steals it from you three turns later.

Geto: The wrapping is immaculate. Crisply folded dark blue paper. Symmetrical gold bow on top. 10/10. It’s perfect. Of course, you had to choose this one. Peeling back the paper and digging into the box, a small glowing ball rolls out. In what he thought would be the funniest inside joke ever (coming from someone who doesn’t joke often), Geto left the curse you had all fought together for you to keep in a nice little orb. How sweet. There’s also a religious pamphlet and invitation to his cult’s gatherings. 

Jogo: The messy wrapping leaves something to be desired, but this one has a presence. When you peel back the green paper, you discover…one of sukuna’s fingers.

This does not feel like it should fit within the $25 spending limit, but whatever.

Nanami: This envelope almost went unnoticed until you saw it poking out from behind another gift. When you open it, you find a gift card for $25. Low effort but certainly useful.

Yuta: A small silver box with a cute blue bow. When you open it, you find a beautiful locket. That's from Yuta. Inside is a photo of Yuta. That's from Rika.

Maki: Green paper with a big red ribbon. This gift looks exactly like someone mimicked the most stereotypical Christmas wrapping they could manage (she did.) It’s hefty for its size. When you open it, you find a large bottle of Pinesol, a scrubbing brush, and some gloves with a note that ‘some of you need to pull your weight  more around here.’

Megumi: The wrapping is nice. Simple. Minimalistic. A red paper so dark it's nearly black. When you open the box, you find an assortment of new pens, pencils, lighters, and a phone charger. He wanted to introduce a surplus to the group in the hopes that now everyone will stop stealing his. (If you can’t tell, the Zenin clan isn’t so big on Christmas.)

Nobara: The gift bag is cute. A nice bow, shiny star covered paper. Great choice. When you pull out the tissue paper and look inside, you find a hammer. Also, a holiday scented candle - gotta cover all the bases.

Panda: Crinkled snowflake print wrapping paper and a few bits of fur in the tape holding it together, but overall something really draws you to this gift. When you open it, you know immediately it’s from Panda. One of those packaged gag gifts you’ll be able to use or re-gift next year for a laugh.

Choso: This is the largest box. It's wrapped up in candy cane patterned paper with big holes stabbed through the top and sides. "Don't shake it!" he screams from across the room when you pick it up. Ripping through the already mangled paper and opening the cratered box, you find a tiny stray kitten with a cute red bow tied around its neck in place of a collar. Awwweee.

Inumaki: This one is larger than most and surprisingly well wrapped in cute santa hat Pikachu paper. When you open it, you find the absolute weirdest garden gnome you’ve ever seen. It’s wonky, in an endearing/funny way. You genuinely wonder where it came from.

How tf did he wrap it so well with only o-[SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER]

Mahito: A transfigured human. It’s not wrapped or anything. He didn’t really understand the game.

Shoko: A cute gold box with a red ribbon tied around it. It feels lightweight but you’re sure there’s something good in there. When you untie it and peel off the paper, you find a pack of cigarettes and a scribbled note that says ‘happy holidays.’

Toji: A crumpled paper bag with the top rolled over. It’s the only one left and you’re feeling adventurous. Opening it, you find a roll of toilet paper (which you return to the bathroom from which it went missing.)

***Sukuna declined to participate. He says his mere presence is a gift to all of you mortals and you’ll be lucky if he graces you with that.

In the end:

The toilet paper has been returned and Gojo confiscated the transfigured human and finger. Well, he tried to. Sukuna's mouth appeared on Yuji's hand and ate both while they were being passed across the room.

This leaves us with:

Gojo's creepy cursed object (he swears it's safe)

Yuji's cute mug/Human Earthworm nicknacks

Todo's framed idol photo (Maki is glaring daggers at you for even considering it)

Geto's curse orb and religious materials (Gojo stole this one to take it out of rotation so they might be off-limits too)

Nanami's $25 Applebees gift card

A locket with Yuta's photo glued inside

Maki's cleaning supplies

Megumi's box of frequently borrowed items (each of which have now been transformed by Mahito to look like small people)

Nobara's hammer. And candle.

Panda's gag gift (Toge is trying to hide this and not make eye contact in the hopes that you will forget it exists)

Choso's kitten that everyone is keeping away from Mahito (Megumi already named it so good luck prying it out of his hands)

Toge's quirky gnome

Shoko's cigarettes (minus the two Nanami already smoked after stealing a lighter before Mahito could transfigure it)

You have one more steal left, what are you going home with?

m.list

[allywthsr]

EPILOGUE | (l.norris)

summary: epilogue of Lan on Raya! What happened the last three years and another big question.

wordcount: 2.1k words

pairing: landonorris x fem!reader

warnings: miscarriage, getting a dog

notes: someone requested this and I thought why not? Give me ideas in my inbox for specific things and maybe it won’t be the last time you hear from these two🫶🏼 it’s short, I’m sorry but I didn’t want to make it too big. comment your thoughts!

part one part two part three

It’s been three years since you met Lando, let’s see what happened.

In the beginning, it was hard for you two to see each other often, with Lando living in Monaco and you in London, you couldn’t just pop over, and with his job as well, Lando travels a lot, and with your job, you had to stay put in one place. So whenever he was in England for the MTC, he came over for a few days to spend with you and whenever you had free time, you would fly over to him or come with him for a race. The whole time you kept in touch via FaceTime or texting, there were weeks when you would see his family more often than you saw him.

Because of the vacation, you created a bond with his family, especially his sisters, and loved catching up with them, they would visit you in London a lot, Lando was always jealous, but you had to remind him, that it was his own decision to move to Monaco.

After a year of a long-distance relationship you decided to move together, temporarily.

Lando moved most of his stuff in your apartment, to see whether you could endure each other or not.

But you did. You could remember one specific evening where it was still fresh with the moving together and Max and Pietra came over. At some point, all of you were hammered and Max decided it was time for Mario Kart. While he and his girlfriend were playing against each other, you were screaming all sorts of advice to Pietra, while Lando hugged you tight to keep you from it. The whole day he had been touchy, squeezing your side and hiding his head behind your back, because he couldn’t stand to see Max driving into the wall for the fifth time. You wished someone had documented this moment, because of how sweet he had been, he was truly like one of these Pinterest boyfriends.

But it all worked out, and the temporary move in became a full move-in.

You two moved into a bigger apartment just half a year later, wanting more space.

That’s also where some negative events happened, just one and a half years into the relationship you got pregnant, it’s not like you planned it, it more or less, just happened.

You had a really bad cold and the doctor gave you medication which apparently messed with your birth control, so when your period didn’t come and you began to puke every morning, you got suspicious. You took a test when Lando was at the MTC, doing a few last tests, before the season started and when it came back positive, you almost fainted. This was not on your bingo card for the year, nor for the next year, after all, you only were in a relationship with Lando for a year and a half, not enough to become pregnant. You took two more tests and when there was no denying that a little human was growing in your stomach, you couldn’t wait for Lando to get home. You tried to call him and say you needed him back sooner but he was in the sim and important meetings where he was forced to switch off his phone.

Once he finally came through the door, you ran and hugged him tight, he had to promise you to not get mad, which he did, and when you told him, you‘ve never seen him react so slowly. At first, he couldn’t believe what you were saying, staring at you in disbelief, and when you repeated it twice he finally hugged you back. Obviously, it wasn’t planned, but he was still over the moon.

In the following weeks, Lando had been the sweetest boyfriend you could imagine, bringing you food, holding your hair and rubbing your back while you puked every morning, cuddling with you and stroking your belly every chance he got. After just one month of discovering your pregnancy, you woke up to really bad stomach cramps, Lando was lying asleep next to you when you saw that the bedsheet beneath you was completely red. You shook Lando awake and he rushed you to the hospital but there was nothing the doctors could’ve done, by the time you got there it was already too late.

The next few weeks have been rough, you barely talked, you barely touched or looked at each other. It was like living with a stranger, saying good morning and goodnight, maybe a nod when he asked you if you wanted to eat something, but other than that, you couldn’t. You felt super guilty for not being able to carry the life inside of you, Lando didn’t know about your thoughts but you had them and they weren’t pretty.

One afternoon Lando basically dragged you in his car and when you arrived, it was a therapist. The sessions had helped you, your mental health, and your relationship, after just one month it was like it never had happened. Not that you forgot about your little baby, but Lando and you talked again, you started to be intimate again, and it felt like it was back to normal. In the backyard of his parents, both of you planted a tree to remind your unborn child, you could see the tree grow like your child should have grown up, but that’s life.

Every day the burden got lighter, until you could fully let go.

The next year and a half was spent with so much love and light. Lando and you started to build a house, it’s something he always wanted to do and so you both got a lot near his parents, where the house was built. You moved in after a year and it was perfect, you were so damn grateful to have Lando by your side, without him you could never have the life you have now. You quit your job and started working at Quadrant, you were behind the scenes and did office stuff, keeping everything organized, that way you could travel with Lando to every race and not be unemployed since you were sure that the boss wouldn’t fire you. After all, you pleasured him nearly every night.

You still went on every Norris family holiday and his family loved you as much as you loved them. You were happy that you had such a good bond with them, whenever Lando was at the MTC and you were bored, you went to his parent's house, enjoying some drinks with Cisca.

All in all, you were the happiest girl in the world, you were sure. He was spoiling you whenever he wanted, buying you things where he would tell you, that he reminded him of you. That Louis Vuitton bag? It was your favorite color and he couldn’t wait to see you wearing it. Bringing you your favorite chocolate from the store, when he only wanted to get gas? He needed to because he knew that your period was due soon. But it was not all materialistic things he spoiled you with.

Kisses on your forehead? All. The. Time.

Needing a hug before every race? Yep.

Making sweet love to you? Every night.

He was addicted to your pussy, he had to be. He worshipped it, taking his time, whenever he went down on you (and it happened all the time).

The topic of kids was still on the table. He wanted to have some after he retired, but when you were pregnant, he was the happiest he‘d ever been. With that in mind, he wanted you to be pregnant soon, you tried to keep his head calm and remind him how hard it could be to become pregnant again after a miscarriage, and how scared you were after the experience. He understood that but still rooted for you to get pregnant.

”You would look so hot with a bump.“

”I can’t wait to talk to my child every day through your belly.“

”Y/N, I want to put a baby in you!“

”I need a mini Y/N and a mini Lando.“

”You‘d be the milf and I’d be the dilf.“

”Imagine them in a race suit and sitting in my car?“

”We could do a quadrant baby merch series!“

The list goes on and on. But he was right, he would be the hottest dilf in history.

Oh and the dog that you both got? Adorable! You got it shortly after you moved into your forever home, it was your favorite breed and you named the little brown dog mocha. He came with you to every race and followed you everywhere, even going to the toilet alone was becoming harder with the puppy needing you. You three went on long walks together through the forest, and when he got older Lando even took him jogging. Mocha wasn’t the happiest about running several miles but when he was with his dad, it didn’t matter. One of the funniest moments was when Lando made a custom LN4 dog bucket hat and sat Mocha in his car, the little dog didn’t know what was happening but he loved the attention he got, the people were taking pictures of him, talking to him and petting him and that was all he needed, but only when both of you were around. Mocha needed both of you, the amount of pictures Lando and you had on your phone of just Mocha and the other cuddling in the evening on the couch or some hotel bed, was insane.

But back to where you are right now, in your backyard. How did you get here? More to that in a second.

The house you both built was perfect, it was modern but homey. The high ceilings were paired with white walls and light wood-colored details, like the Kitchen that had a wood-colored work surface and the living room that had a wood-colored coffee table just like the TV wall. Lando and you loved designing it, taking your time to figure out what you really wanted. You had several guest rooms, that could be turned into kid's rooms, whenever you needed to, Lando built himself a gaming room and you both shared an office. In the basement was a billiard table and other fun things. The backyard was huge, a lot of trees were standing around the property and you loved it, just like Mocha. The little brown dog loved to run around and catch every ball you threw him.

And that was where you were standing right now, the backyard, it was already dark outside but the candles that were lit, made the place glow. You had been cooking dinner when you heard Mocha bark without stopping, in fear that he caught a squirrel again and Lando took it away from him, you made your way to the glass door, but seeing Lando standing surrounded by electric candles, wasn’t something you expected.

”Lando? What is this?“

”Come here, love.“

You stepped closer to where Lando was standing and slowly it dawned on you. While taking your hand, he started to speak.

”Y/N, I’ve known you for more than three years and I must admit, it had been the best years of my life.“

You chuckled.

”We had many ups and downs, but whatever it was, we got through it and it only made us stronger. We‘re already a family with Mocha…“

You looked at the dog that was circling you both, not knowing what was happening.

”…and I can’t wait to grow a bigger family with you. I love you so much, even with your sweatpants and my hoodie, socks that have holes in them, and messy hair. I’ve never seen a much more beautiful woman than you and I‘m so happy I went on Raya that day to get a quick fuck, who would’ve thought that I would find you, my soulmate. I love to play Mario Kart with you at two a.m., and I will braid your hair for the rest of your life, with a face mask in my face that does absolutely nothing, except steal your money. I‘m super thankful for you, for every race you join, how you’re not mad at me for putting a picture of you on the back of my helmet, directly in front of the camera, so everyone can see you while I‘m driving and that way you’re always with me, for every kiss… the list could go on and on, but you know this stuff. I need you in my life, and I will not let you go, so…“

He went down on one knee and now it was more than clear what was happening, with glossy eyes you followed Lando’s movements, as he pulled out a little box and opened it, before taking one of your hands in his‘ again, looking at you with a big smile and the same glossy eyes as you.

”Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?“

a/n: tell me your favorite dog breed in the comments

[penwieldingdreamer]

A Shot in the Dark ~ Prologue

Well, welcome to my latest obsession - FBI and OA Zidan. This is a crossover between FBI, FBI: Most Wanted & Blue Bloods. Let me know what you think and if you'd like to be tagged in any future chapters.

I do not own any of the characters of the FBI Franchise and Blue Bloods, they belong to their respective owners

Summary It's said, you'll always meet twice in life. But you never thought it be in a hostage situation with a gun pressed against your head.

Warnings: hostage situation, canon typical violence, coarse language, smut in later chapters

The human mind is really the scariest thing of all.

Life in general is scary, and yet you step out of your home each day and face it. You imagine how a situation might turn out if you just changed one thing in your day to day life. Sometimes it’s the sandwich they didn’t have at the bakery and sometimes it’s the choice you make on the job.

“Andrew, drop the gun and let my sister go!” Detective Danny Reagan called, his own weapon trained on the former NYPD officer, voice shaking as he looked at you, seeing his own fear mirrored in your eyes. “She’s got nothing to do with this. You want me. Let the kids and her go.”

Shaking his head, former police officer Andrew O'Sullivan pushed the muzzle of his gun harder against your temple. "They are all the leverage I need to get you to do what I want."

"O'Sullivan! This is Agent Scott and Agent Bell with the FBI. Surrender your weapons and let the hostages go. We will make sure that your demands are met, but you need to let the kids and Miss Reagan go."

You could feel the tears running down your cheeks, but you knew you had to be strong for the children. Their parents put you in charge and you, as their teacher, needed to make sure they'd get out safe. “Please Mister O’Sullivan, you got me, let the children go home. They don’t have anything to do with this.”

Your heart was hammering in your throat watching your brother desperately trying to get Andrew to drop the weapon, the ground feeling like it was going to be pulled from underneath you. And here you thought it was going to be a good day today.

Five hours earlier, 9:15 Bluestone Lane Tribeca Café

"So, heard anything from tall, dark and handsome? You looked cute together."  

“Erin!”

“Mom! You’re embarrassing her.”

The lawyer grinned into her coffee mug as the three of you sat together for breakfast. "What!? I saw pictures from way back when. It's been more than four years now, just thought maybe you'd have a run in with him again."

"Nope, haven't seen him since before he started training at Quantico and you would know that. I'm practically living with dad and pop again after those idiots living above me wouldn't have smoked weed and forgot to shut off the water."

Nicky only rolled her eyes at her mother trying to play matchmaker – as always. “You should leave Y/N alone. Danny would have a field day if she came home with him.”

“Thank you, Nicky, I knew why you were my favorite niece.” You took a bite from your chocolate croissant. Usually you’d be getting the breakfast sandwich the café was famous for but today they were all out.

“I’m your only niece, so that’s not a hard feat to do.”

“Yet.” You pointed a finger at the younger woman. “And I don’t even know where he is. I’ll not be running after him and use dads resources to find him.”

“All I’m saying is that you should get laid, you can’t just stay a single workaholic forever." 

Sending your sister a disapproving look, you could see the disgust on your nieces face. She was old enough to be part of that conversation and already had one boyfriend, yet you knew she was absolutely embarrassed by her mother's choice of breakfast conversation.

"Mom! God! I'll be heading off to work or you'll start talking about dad and yourself." Nicky, so much like Erin grabbed her purse and to-go cup, leaned over to kiss her mother's cheek before she moved next to you. With her arm draped over your shoulder, she leaned in as if to whisper into your ear but still spoke at normal volume. "Don't let her bully you into looking him up. You do you, Auntie, but she's right, you need to get laid."

Slack jawed at her gall, you turned accusatory eyes on the lawyer. "That's definitely on you, Erin. You taught her to be like that."

"Well, she's definitely got that from me and she'd make a great lawyer like that."

Letting out a sigh, you leaned back in your chair.

Damn, they were right.

Quickly apologizing to God under your breath, you try to anchor yourself to your mug. It had been years since you had seen Omar. You had met him outside a bar in the Financial District, after a date had dumped her right before dessert, telling her she wasn’t worth his time.

“He’s a dick, he wasn’t going to know what to do with you anyway.”

You sat together at the bar and talked about random stuff – friends, hobbies, only things that wouldn’t compromise him as you later found out he was undercover for the DEA.

“You’re quiet, what are you thinking about?”

Blinking, you watched your sister with a small, wistful smile, something she had seen so often when you had gone out to have breakfast with Nicky and her every Saturday morning. “Nothing.” You shrugged your shoulders, but the secret smile that barely turned up the corners of your mouth was still there and the lawyer knew that one, she had seen it often enough.

Erin took a sip from her coffee, narrowing her eyes at you. “Don’t give me that shit, Y/N. It’s Tall, Dark and Handsome isn’t it?”

“Maybe.” You admitted quietly, looking down at your fingers, busy playing with the white napkin under your croissant.

“You should get Eddie to look for him, maybe he’s in town.”

Shaking your head vigorously. “No, I’ll not be looking for him. We would have seen each other, probably...maybe.”

“New York is huge, you think you’d just walk down Broadway and bam! There he is? Y/N, I can assure you, that’s not how it works.” She laughs, knowing all about it with her ex-husband Jack. “You want him, you need to look for him, he’s not just going to turn up if you snap your fingers.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to look for him, maybe it wasn’t meant to be if I haven’t run into him by now. Or maybe he’s somewhere in D.C., happily married with 1.93 kids, living in the suburbs and chasing the bad guys.”

Chuckling, the lawyer shook her head at you. “You got it all figured out now, huh? Maybe he’s still single, thinking about that maybe with you. He was really nice when he came around for lunch that day.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me, Eddie wouldn’t shut up about him for a week straight.” Just then your phone chimed, letting you know that you needed to get ready to get to your Junior High class for their field trip to the museum. You would meet them together with their parents right in front of the museum. “Shit, I’m late! Sorry Erin, I got to head off.”

“We’re not done talking about him!” She called after you as you raced out of the cafe to the next Metro station.

An hour and a half later you remind your seventh grade students to be nice and listen closely to the lady showing you around the National History Museum. “There’s going to be a test on Monday next week, so you guys should take notes on all of this.”

A groan ripped through the hall and I knew they hated me for this. “But Miss Reagan, you said we could have fun today.” Jimmy calls from the back, a frown on his cute face. 

Giggling, you shook your head. They were still thinking it was just going to stay easier from there on out. “I did, but it doesn’t mean you guys can slack off on your school work. This is going to help you with your Science project.”

Groans, followed by sighs from your students were the end of that conversation. You and the group of thirteen-year-olds followed Mrs. Langdon as she talked about the museum, which exhibitions had already been part of the building and what was waiting for the boys and girls of Lower Manhattan Middle School. They were in the Early Adolescence stage and it was absolutely normal for them to act like that. With Nicky, Jack and Sean you had been exposed to that stage early on and you loved them for it.

You entered the Saurichian Hall of the museum, awed by the skeletons, the hairs on your arms starting to raise from the goosebumps at the imagination of having lived back in time, 66 millennia’s ago. But somehow, it wasn’t the only thing that gave you the shivers. At the entrance of the museum you had seen a guy, dressed like everyone else. But you had been around police your whole life and listened to your bothers to know that something was definitely wrong with him. His head was down but you saw his eyes darting about like he was searching for something – or someone.

Getting to the next section, you slightly turned your head away from your students excitingly listening to the tales of each dinosaur exhibited at the museum.

There he was again, the backpack slung low on his shoulders and it looked like he was sweating. Was he sick and needed help? If so, wouldn’t he have asked the people at the front desk or even stayed at home.

Danny had always told you to be vigilant about suspicious people roaming about and this guy fit the description. Should you text Danny or Jamie? They were probably busy with their cases and if he was just a creep you’d make a fool out of yourself and maybe your dad in extension.

Police Commissioner’s daughter accuses visitor at the National History Museum to be a creep and makes a laughing stock out of the Reagan family.

Now that would be the headline of the week.

Turning back to listen to Mrs. Langdon and your students with a sigh you missed him pulling out a gun from under his jacket, pointing it at your back before slightly lifting it up and pulling the trigger.

11:40, Joint Operations Center

“Alright guys, we've got a hostage situation at the National History Museum. Twenty-two students from LoMa Middle School and their teacher. This is high profile. Detective Reagan with the NYPD called it in about fifteen minutes ago.” ASAC Jubal Valentine’s voice rang out through the JOC. He motioned to Elise, one of the Analysts to put every information on the screens. “This is Y/N Reagan, she’s a teacher at the school and also the daughter of New York City Police Commissioner Frank Reagan.”

Your picture popped up on the screens, a happy smile on your face as you sat together with your father and your brother Jamie at a city function.

“You know, now that I’m done with my trainee-ship as teacher, we could make it official. Dad wants me to tag along at this function or other and I’d like to take you as my plus one.” You smiled at him, your arms slung around his neck as you lounged together on his bed.

Omar ran his fingers from your shoulder to your elbow and up again. He loved the feeling of your soft skin under his hands, slightly roughed from the army. “It would be nice, I’d love to finally show you off to my family as well. Erin has been nagging me like a hen to know who the guy is making me smile all day.” He smiled, nuzzling her neck and listening to her giggles as his nose and beard rubbed up and down against that point where her neck met her shoulder.

"I'd like that. I bet your sister isn't the only one nagging." He chuckled, burrowing closer and pushing his lower half against yours earning a soft groan from you.

Your fingers raked over his head, feeling the short cropped hair tickle the palm of your hands. “Pop and dad are already giving me those penetrative looks, you know the ones where they are acting like cops and trying to read a suspects thoughts.”

Closing his eyes, the former army ranger breathed in your scent. It was the one thing that grounded him on days his mind sent him back to Iraq. “From what you told me I’m more afraid of your brother, not your father and grandpa.”

Omar moved next to Maggie, a soft Shit leaving his lips as his eyes swept over the screens. It had been a few years since he’d last seen you, only a few days short of leaving for his training at Quantico. Seeing your face, tear track staining your cheeks with the suspect pressing his gun to your head.

The brunette watched her partner, the fingers of his left hand anxiously playing with his ring. A sign that he was nervous. A sign Maggie had learned in the beginning when they first were partnered up.

“You know her?”

He sighed, “We, ugh, we dated for a while before, before I went into training. I...broke it off, because I thought she’d be better off without me.”

“Gosh, OA.” Maggie murmured, scratching a fingernail along her eyebrow thoughtfully. She knew her partner had been in relationships before – he was Muslim, not a virginal saint, but she had never seen him this distraught or anxious. 

It was clear as day that you were still important to him and it took everything in him to not run out the door and drive off toward the museum.

"What do we have on the suspect?" Isobel questioned, coming to stand next to her 2nd in charge. 

"Suspect is 40 year old Andrew O'Sullivan, former police officer with the NYPD, 54th Precinct and bomb specialist with the Marines. Detective Daniel Reagan, Y/N’s older brother was part of the investigation against him.” Kelly Moran, an analyst at the JOC spoke up, tapping hastily on his keyboard and sending the pictures of their suspect to the bigger screens. “He took drugs from evidence and tried to sell it on the street. O’Sullivan needed it for his daughter, she has leukemia and he was going to take the money to pay for her treatments.”

The analyst pressed a key to show the picture of a little girl, maybe ten years old, grinning at the camera. “Lena O’Sullivan, she”

“His daughter died two days ago, that’s why he’s doing it. He wanted to save her from it and we took the money that would pay for her treatment. Andrew has been angry with me for a while and called me after Lena died.” A new voice sounded from behind them, strong and authoritative, yet they could all hear the pain laced into his words. “He has my sister and if you guys don’t get a move on, Andrew is going to kill them all.” Detective Daniel Reagan had made his way to the JOC, knowing he couldn’t make a move against O’Sullivan without the people of the FBI. You were his little sister and he’d be damned just sitting around at the precinct when he needed to get you to safety. More so when Erin would have his head for being the reason the former officer had you and your kids as hostages.

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 32

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 29, part 30, part 31

Eddie ended up needing more than just a week before he was cleared to come home. He needed at least two, and even then, it was all up to the hospital’s physical therapist to determine if he gained enough strength to go home. Where he wasn’t going to get more hurt by living at home.

But he was still coming home. And soon. Which means that Dustin has to get convincing. Steve was supposed to plant the initial seed. Let it ruminate, so by the time Dustin got there, he could hammer the final nail in. But when Dustin pulled out his list of reasons, ready for the spiel, he can barely get a word out before Wayne’s speaking.

“Oh, I already heard all about it,” is what he said. “I can admit that it’s a good plan. Thanks for thinking of it.”

That was easy. Too easy. Did Steve really convince him all by himself?

Either way, the plan was in motion. A few days later, Wayne moves in with Steve. Taking one of the bedrooms upstairs, a few doors down the hall from Steve. Right next to the guest bathroom that would be just his. He was almost never there, but it was better than the motel.

Dustin could tell that he was sleeping a little better. It could be knowing that Eddie was coming home soon, and that he could slow down the house hunting process a little bit. Give more time to find a place that they will both love and spread out the expenses of finding new furniture. Steve already offering storage space in another one of his spare bedrooms and anywhere they need.

It's not like anyone else uses the house.

Time continues to pass, and each day Eddie gets stronger. On the two-month anniversary of the day he woke up from the coma, he takes his first step without any assistance. Human assistance, at least. He is still using mobility aids. But he still did it.

Some days are better than others. The pain has subsided to some extent, but there are days where Dustin visits and Eddie barely moves. Something about pins and needles traveling up his arms and legs when he does. And there are days where he’s really shaky, and nothing can help it.

But he can still come home this week. So, they needed to actually get their asses in gear.

Steve helped Wayne sneak back into his house in the middle of the night to try and salvage some of Eddie’s clothes. Or really, anything that was in Eddie’s room. They were able to save some of Wayne’s stuff too, so he could walk around in something other than the same two outfits and his work uniforms.

The room on the first floor apparently had never even been used. So, Steve had to take the plastic off of the mattress and get some sheets for it. the room was otherwise bare, except for the patterned wallpaper and basic furniture. It wasn’t Eddie though, so it needed some work.

Dustin employed pretty much everyone he could.

“Dustin,” Gareth yelled down the hall. “I have those posters that you wanted, they’re in my garage. Swing by anytime to pick them up.”

It was more posters than Dustin was expecting. Black Sabbath, Dio, Metallica, mixed in with old posters they made for Corroded Coffin, and one old one from Hellfire. There’re a few movie posters mixed in as well from titles Dustin doesn’t even recognize. But it’s good.

Steve finds an old cassette player in his basement. Looks like it had never even been opened. It’s a really nice one too. They were able to find some of Eddie’s cassettes, but most of them where ruined.

It was still something.

“Don’t you think this is, like, a lot,” Mike questions. The posters and picture Dustin had printed out almost entirely covering the walls.

“No,” Dustin says. Going back to unpacking some of the things that they saved from the trailer.

“His room wasn’t even this covered in the trailer,” Lucas adds for some reason. “You don’t think this might be a little overkill.”

Dustin glares at them. “But he didn’t have this gross wallpaper in his trailer.”

“It is not that bad,” El comments from the bed. Her and Max just sitting there, not helping.

“Someone describe it to me, I want to know. Wait,” Max points at Dustin. Somehow knowing exactly where he is and that he was going to describe it poorly. “Someone other than him.”

“It’s literally just a bunch of small red diamonds,” Lucas explains. “Think Steve’s room but slanted and red. But not plaid.”

Max nods. “Yeah, that isn’t that bad. It could be worse. Have you seen the pink flower room.” She gags.

“It still is not that bad,” El defends.

Will and Mike share a look, continuing to unpack a box of books. Steve brings in what should be the last box of things. Considering they were only able to save so much. He looks around at the walls, taking in everything.

“Dustin, I know you want this place to feel like home, but could you leave a little bit of wall uncovered. We don’t want to overwhelm him.”

“He’s not a toddler, Steve,” Dustin groans. “I don’t think he’s going to get overwhelmed.”

Robin comes in to tell Steve something. But gets stopped in her tracks as she looks around the room. “Oh. My. God. That is a lot of posters.”

“Thank you,” Lucas says. Arms crossed while he stands in the corner. “I think we have more than enough on the walls.”

“There’s more?” she questions. “Where were you going to put them?”

“Fine,” Dustin whines. “I won’t put any more posters up.”

Robin leans into Steve. “By the way, your mom’s on the phone.”

Steve lets out a long sigh. “Thank you.”

He walks out of the room, Robin close behind him. The rest of them putting the finishing touches. Lucas and Mike convincing Dustin to take down some of the posters and make the walls look less cluttered. Like Eddie would care about cluttered. Have they seen what his old room looked like.

But he might be able to admit that floor to ceiling posters were a little overkill. He just wanted this place to feel even a little reminiscent of the trailer. Of what Eddie had back home. Is that really so bad?

The next day, they all patiently wait in the living room. Eddie was getting discharged this morning. Meaning that Wayne is bringing him here, right now. Eddie will be in real clothes, out of the hospital. Finally getting back to normal.

Or, as normal as he could possibly be. But still more normal than in a hospital.

Because now, he can eat real food. And get real sleep. That isn’t constantly disturbed by nurses checking on him in the middle of the night. In a bed that is really comfortable. In a house that is constantly quiet.

He might finally start to fully get back to the Eddie that Dustin knew before all of this.

A car pulls up into the drive. Doors slam, and voices can be heard by the door. Steve goes to get the door before the bell rings. They were supposed to wait in the living room, but Dustin can’t help it. He follows.

“Holy shit, Harrington, how tall is this ceiling?”

“I have no clue.”

Eddie’s crutches make soft thumps with every step. Steve shuts the door and lets them know where they can put their shoes. It’s a bustle of voices while Dustin waits for them to turn around and see that he’s there.

That he’s been waiting for this. For so long.

“You know you didn’t have to build that ramp for me,” Eddie says to Steve. Still not turning around.

“I didn’t. I built it for Max. You just get to use it for free.”

Eddie smiles a teasing smile. It’s been a while since Dustin’s seen that. “Aw, taking pity on me, are you, Steve.”

“Just shut up.”

Wayne clears his throat, stopping whatever the two of them were doing. He nods his head toward Dustin still waiting in the hall. Eddie turns his head, finally, and sees him.

Something in the shape of relief fills his face. “Hey, Henderson.”

“You’re here.” Dustin can’t help the wetness in his voice. Or his eyes. He wasn’t expecting to cry, it just happened.

Eddie makes his way over to Dustin. Slightly wincing in pain, but not complaining. He balances his crutches just right so he can pull Dustin into a hug. A proper hug. Dustin’s not sure how long it’s been since he’s hugged Eddie. Too afraid to do in in the hospital.

But he’s not in the hospital anymore.

“Yeah,” Eddie says with more waiver in his voice than he would probably admit. “I’m here.”

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[helpami-flaffy]

EPIC THE MUSICAL OPINIONS, VERY OPINIONS, VERY MINE.

IF YOU DON'T WANT SOME NEGATIVITY DON'T READ. THIS IS NOT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE I SWEAR.

MOSTLY COMPILED AT NIGHT, SOME REVISION.

PLEASE DO NOT COME AT ME.

.....................

After this saga I'm left kind of perplexed about epic.

What is epic trying to say here? What's the musical's stance on ruthlessness?

Because it isn't very clear to me anymore.

Is it bad? Is it good and just? Is it a necessary evil? Is it worth becoming something monstrous just to achieve your goals?

The thing I'm trying to say is:

Is epic a tragedy or a triumph?

Until the vengeance saga I thought it was the former, but now I'm not so sure.

Throughout the story Odysseus takes desicions that either side with what I'll call the 'open arm mentality' or the 'ruthless' mentality.

He gets punished for both a number of times.

He kills Astianax so he doesn't have to fear his future vengeance.

He spares Polyphemus and that leads to 558 men dying.

He appeals to Circe's humanity and that leads her to freeing his men and helping him get to the underworld.

He sacrificed 6 men to Scylla and that leads to 'mutiny' and 'thunder bringer' where the rest of his crew dies and he ends up in calypso's island where she imprisoned him for 7 years.

First act of ruthlessness= good outcome

First act of open arms= bad outcome

Second act of open arms= good outcome

Second act of ruthlessness= bad outcome

(I forgot to add the sirens, that encounter is kinda strange tho.  Ody kills all of them but I wouldn't call that ruthlessness. Ruthlessness is doing whatever needs doing to get what you want. He needed to know how to get home, and killing the sirens after doesn't matter in that context. I guess it's good for future sailors? I'll count this as an altruistic positive I guess)

This breakdown isn't perfect, lots of other things happen and some things Ody does can't really be neatly categorized by this simple metric imo, but I'll continue anyway as it feels to me the story breaks down his actions in a sort of similar dichotomy.

All in all the 'good to bad' ratio seems pretty balanced, right? It's not always ruthlessness that wins the day, and 'open arms' solutions don't always work out.

So why does it feel like we're supposed to root for ruthless Odysseus? Why does it feel like the story wants us to believe that being the monster is a good if 'somewhat sad' outcome?

Why am I saying this? Well, it's 600 strikes.

Actually just- all the vengeance saga.

Why is what Ody does here supposed to be cool and awesome? Because, like, that is absolutely the angle here.

Complete with a, honestly absurd, anime power up and fighting-god-one-on-one moment.

Why does the story break down it's logic,  breaks suspension of disbelief (at least for me), to get Odysseus into a position were he can torture Poseidon into letting him go?

Wich?? Btw should not work??

Why is this how he wins?

Why are the ghosts of his friends and family no longer spectres of regrets for but terrifying promises of death?

What does this say? Was Odysseus wrong about their sacrifice? Was regret ever only a noose around his neck? I'm looking too deeply into this one lol.

In 'get in the water' we even get the obligatory appeal to Poseidon's mercy just to hammer down once again that 'open arms' doesn't work, even tho it's Athena's appeal to her father's mercy that set Odysseus free in the first place.

The saga ends with Poseidon asking Odysseus how he'll sleep at night after all of this and Ody, in admittedly the coldest line ever written on paper, says:

"Next to my wife"

...

This is cool.

Extremely cool even.

But that's kind of the problem I have with it.

The song ends in a badass way. This is meant to be the final zing to seal Odysseus' cool ass victory.

And in all of this, not once, does the story seem to recognize that...well...

Poseidon won.

Hell not even Poseidon recognized it!

I'm not even saying "OoOh if it was realistic Poseidon would have have won!" (Tho yeah, ask me about that, lol)

In the great ideological battle that's at the center of Epic: the musical, Poseidon was the ultimate victor.

Ruthless is what wins at the end, it's what gets Odysseus home. Odysseus might be a monster but he's a victorious one.

I feel people and the musical both don't really acknowledge that.

That even if Poseidon lost the battle he ultimately won the war.

Were is the irony? Where's the bitterness and sorrow? We're Poseidon's bloodied, mocking smirk revelling in his victory?

Is Epic a tragedy or a power fantasy?

[binbogummy]

Humans are —

I had the urge to write but was so all over the place on what I wanted to write for that I stuck everything I'm into right now onto a wheel and spun it. And guess what? Good Omens won.

Some tags: Reader-insert | Female-reader | Platonic x reader | Fluff | Sickfic | Post-Season 1, Pre-Season 2

Words: 2k+

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | * | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | *²|

Chapter 10|

~

The rain seemed to fall in sheets, hammering against the Bentley's exterior as it cut through the streets of London. The windshield wipers worked overtime, squeaking faintly as they swiped away the relentless downpour, only for the glass to be blurred again in an instant.

Despite the storm's ferocity, the old car seemed as indifferent to the storm drenched street as its driver did to the complete lack of visibility.

Thunder growled somewhere in the distance and the steerlights overhead illuminated the car's interior and its passengers in brief flashes as they flew by overhead while Crowley cruised a casual 75mph through the tight heart of Soho.

You sat in the passenger seat, watching the water streak and beat against the window as the dark, almost Gothic atmosphere outside was completely blurred.

"All those jokes about London weather really weren't an over-exaggeration, huh? I don't think I've ever seen it come down like this." you mused, finally interrupting the comfrotable silence before a quick cough cleared the building scratchiness in your throat.

Crowley, one hand on the wheel and the other casually draped over the gearshift, didn’t take his eyes off the waterfalling windshield for a moment. "Exaggeration’s the human specialty, love. But in this case, dead accurate. Can't say I haven't seen worse, though."

You let out a little huff and smiled, ironically catching his attention in the form of a sidelong glance, albeit noticeable from under his dark glases, with the soft sniffle that followed your words.

"Not that you seem to mind it too much. Couldn't wait to queue for coffee in the rain? Or maybe you fancy another walk along the Thames, in a gale, without a coat?"

"I had a coat!" you shot back confidently despite Crowley's scathing recap of your week in the city so far. "Besides, it's not exactly as easy for me to get around as it is for you. I've got to make the most of my time while I'm here. London is huge. No matter how many times I come to vist, I can't see enough. No way I'm gonna let the weather get in the way."

While visiting Crowley and Aziraphale was one of the major points of your trip, you'd planned your one-off week in the city around visiting them at the beginning and end of your trip, using the days in between to run around London as you saw fit. With plenty of little pop-ins to Azi's bookshop, of course.

"And you'll be heading home when, exactly?"

"After this weekend." You confirmed, muffling another cough into your elbow. "Catching my flight first thing monday. Oh, and I... appreciate the ride." You added quickly at the end; a strategically placed 'thank you' you hoped he wouldn't notice.

He'd just happned to be passing by as you were running back to your hotel this evening, and considering the way the weather had escalated from a drizzle to a light tsunami, you were rather lucky he had been. How he knew about your escapades from early this week, though, you couldn't be sure. Not that the answer would surprise you.

"Oh, 'course of course." Crowley hummed aloofly, brows raising as he turned sharply to park along the curb. You were momentarily surprised. The rain had muddled the windows so thoroughly you couldn't quite tell where you were but you suppose it was possible he'd already made it to where you were staying considering the speed he was going.

"Oh? Are we there already?"

"Not quite." He killed the engine with a flourish, the car purring into silence as he threw his door open and stepped out onto the street. You recoiled briefly in surprise, the sound of the battering rainfall tripling in volmue as the door was opened. "Gotta drop something off." He continued and you were instantly bitter about the way the falling water seemed to part around him. "Come on then." He casually nodded for you to follow before shutting the door.

You took a moment to sigh, pursuing your lips and briefly wondering if he'd be kind enough to extend that supernatural waterproofing to you, but those hopes we quickly dashed when you stumbled out of the passenger door and the rain immediately greeted you with a cold, unceremonious slap from nearly all directions.

It took everything in you to repress a shriek. The downpour was hard, icy and relentless, soaking through your cloths in seconds. The only brightside was that you'd long since realized where you were and made a mad dash for Aziraphale's bookshop.

"Why'd you park so far away!?" You whined, further waterlogging your sneakers as you splashed through the small current rushing along the curb.

Crowley, one the other hand, had only just rounded the bently, retrieving something from the trunk before following after you at the pace of someone on a leisurely stroll, the rain continuing to slide off and around him and the cardboard box he was now carrying with ease.

You weren't in any mood to wait for him to catch up, but when you reached the familer door of A.Z. Fell & Co, you were disgruntled but unsurprised to find it locked as it always was after hours despite the warm light illuminating the inside.

"Hurry hurry hurry!" You called, waving him over frantically

"I'm coming, I'm coming." He assured, but made no attempt to hurry at all. He had to find this hilarious because it wasn't until he finally got close did the knob you'd been desperately jiggling finally turn, and you nearly fell into the bookshop, your shoes squelching as you stumbled to steady yourself.

Despite being thoroughly soaked through, once inside, the warmth of the shop was quick to wrap around you, and the familiar scent of old books and faintly spiced tea was enough to just barley cut through the smell of cold rain clinging to your skin.

You sighed deeply, catching your breath and composing yourself after the run inside.

"Excuse me~." Crowley hummed and you stumbled again to the side as he slipped in after you, but once he was through you were quick to step back onto the mat that sat inside the entrance, conscious not to drip or track water anywhere inside. "Angel, I've got your books!" He called to the ceiling before tossing the heavy box with a careless thump onto a nearby table, and in doing so spun to look you up and down.

The expression on your face said it all but he only gave you a quick, toothy grin before yelling to the ceiling again, "You got any coffee?", and heading back to what you knew to be Aziraphale's kitchen without waiting for a response.

Not a second after he'd disappeared, though, came the response accompanied by eager footsteps.

"I'm afraid I'm all out at the moment, but I put some tea on when you said you'd be coming! I do wish you would have waited until tomorrow though, this is far from the kind of weather one should be-"

Rounding the spiral staircase from above came Aziraphale, but the hint of exasperation that often laced the angel's tone when speaking to Crowley was interrupted when he reached the bottom and caught sight of you dripping at his door.

His eyes widened in dismay as they took in your thoroughly drenched form. His expression shifted from surprise to see you, then delight, and then to immediate concern, his usual flustered demeanor amplified by the sight of you standing on the increasingly soaked mat at the door.

"Oh, my dear!" he exclaimed, bustling toward you with fluttering hands as if trying to decide whether to usher you inside or scold you for being reckless first. "What on earth are you doing out in this dreadful weather? You’re absolutely soaked through!" Before you could respond, he yelled towards where the demon had disappeared. "Crowley! Get in here!"

"Hm?" Crowley popped back out, a steaming mug in his hand that he took a casual sip from.

"You couldn't have given her a ride? Really?" The angel chided and Crowley scoffed with mock offense, motioning towards you with his mug.

"I did! How do you think she got here? Would have had to walk herself the whole way to Marylbome, otherwise." He shrugged taking another sip of what you were sure you could smell to be fresh brewed coffee.

"I'm alright." You finally spoke up, attempting to reassure Aziraphale. "Just got a little wet on the way in since someone decided to park halfway down the street." You exaggerated lightheartedly.

"That's not true." Crowley was quick to defend, leaning against the doorway to the hall and jutting his mug at the window. "Parked right out front. She's just a bit slow."

You turned to look through the storefront window and the Bently was in fact, right out front now, its headlights fading out as it seemed to have just re-parked itself on its own.

If looks could kill then the one you gave Crowley...still probably wouldn't have had much effect on a demon.

"But anywayー" You decided to move on, "He did offer me a ride back to my hotel. So I can't complain too much. I'll be alright." You insisted, fighting another sniffle.

"Oh, no, no, no," Aziraphale tutted, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder and elbow to shepherd you deeper inside. "That won’t do at all. You’ll catch your death if you stay like this much longer!" He returned to fretting with a mixture of exasperation and genuine concern, gently guiding you to the back of the shop. "Come now, off with your coat." He coaxed and was quick to help you out of the dripping garment. You took your eyes off of it for just a moment, and once off of you, it seemed to have disappeared from his hands completely and into thin air. "I'll fetch you something warm to drink right away."

"That's really not necessary! I appreciate it but I really should be-"

"Nonsense," Aziraphale said firmly, already moving towards the backroom. "Stay there. I'll also fetch some towels, and a blanket! And Crowley, for heaven's sake, don't just stand there. Make yourself useful, please."

Crowley raised an eyebrow over the brim of his glasses, clearly unimpressed by the angel’s scolding, but set his mug down with a dramatic sigh. "Fine, fine." He gestured lazily, and you felt a sudden warmth spread through your damp clothes. In an instant, they were bone-dry, though your hair was still wet and the faint chill of having been soaked still lingered on your skin. "There. Happy?"

Your expression softend in surprise as you looked down at yourself, "Yes, actually. Thank you." You thanked genuinely, shuffling in place in a bit of an attempt to shake off the remaining chill.

Aziraphale returned quickly with a few towels and a thick knit blanket stacked in his arms. He paused again when he saw your now-dry clothes before nodding approvingly and setting them by the large armchair that sat near his phonograph.

"Here we go, dear." The angel was at your side again in an instant, gently ushering you toward the armchair and making sure you got settled. “There now, sit down, and we'll have you warmed up in no time!" He assured, handing you a towel.

"Thank you, Aziraphale," you murmured, accepting the towel and starting to dry your hair. It might of been the act of sitting down so suddenly that aggravated the congestion building in your chest, but your murmured thanks came out terribly hoarse and you were forced to clear your throat with a deep cough.

The angel hovered for a moment, seemingly torn between bustling off to do more and staying to ensure you stayed settled properly. You'd actually let yourself relax for a moment, eyes falling closed with a deep breath and another quiet sniffle.

"Really Crowley, you might have mentioned she wasn't feeling well." The knit blanket was draped over your shoulders and meticulously tucketed around you, and you opened your eyes again in surprise.

"Huh?" Aziraphale's words forced you to try to perk up, not wanting to worry the angel, but he seemed to have already diagnosed you. "What? Azi, I'm fine. Again, just got a little waterlogged there is all." You laughed.

"Oh please. You’ve been out in that dreadful weather all day, haven’t you? Honestly, you must take better care of yourself."

"All week actually." Crowley corrected and Aziraphale’s gasp of horror was so genuine it almost made you laugh again, despite another scratchy tickle building in your throat.

"All week? Oh, my dear! No wonder you look absolutely done in! Crowley, how could you let this happen?"

"Let this happen?" Crowley repeated with brows furrowed. "What, am I supposed to follow her around with an umbrella? She's a big girl, Angel. She makes her own terrible decisions."

You opened your mouth to protest, but another cough bubbled up before you could form the words. Crowley smirked, clearly enjoying the validation of his point. Aziraphale shot him a withering glare before patting your hand protectively.

"Well, if you're going to follow her around regardless it wouldn't hurt to be prepared!"

"I'm sorry what?"

"Oh, never mind," Aziraphale quieted down softly, his voice taking on its usual warm, soothing tone as he turned his attention back to you. "You're here now, and I'll make sure you're properly cared for. You'll not go running about in the rain again while you're under this roof, do you understand?"

You began to muster some argument, but your voice seemed to come out hoarse again. "Azi, really, I'm fine. I think I just have a cold, if anything."

"Nonsense," he said again, his gentle smile doing nothing to mask the resolve in his voice. "When it comes to humans, even a sniffle left unchecked can turn into all sorts of unpleasant things. Rest now, and let me handle everything. It'll be quite nice, you'll see!"

"But-"

You were interrupted again when he began fussing with the blanket he'd draped over your shoulders. "Are you warm enough for now? I can fetch another blanket if need be." Then, a fittingly angelic sounding jingle, like that of a bell, sounded from the bookshop's backroom and he stood up tall. "Oh! That would be the tea! You stay put and I'll be right back!"

After Aziraphale bustled off again toward the backroom, you allowed yourself to sink deeper into the armchair with a groan, feeling the warmth of the blankets start to seep into your thoroughly chilled bones.

The smell of brewing tea began wafting through the shop and Crowley plopped himself into one of its many mismatched chairs, his long legs crossed as he pushed his sunglasses down just enough to peer over them at you.

"You know," he drawled lazily, "for someone who claims to be fine, you’re looking suspiciously weak-willed right now."

"Crowley!" Aziraphale's voice called from out of sight. "Be nice!" He scolded but Crowley just grinned.

You rolled your eyes, but there was no real energy behind it. You were more worried about inconveniencing Aziraphale at the moment.

"But that's what you get for running around like a daft tourist, aye?"

You let out a small laugh despite yourself, though it quickly dissolved into another small cough. Maybe you were a little worse off then you originally thought.

Crowley leaned back in his chair, clearly pleased with himself, but before he could continue his teasing, Aziraphale returned, carrying a single tea cup and saucer to you with a sense of urgency that would have led anyone to believe it was the cure for cancer.

"Here you are," He began, setting it on your lap before gently guiding your hands to the saucer and handle, as if worried you didn't have the strength to hold it on your own. "Drink this, dear. It'll do you good. Chamomile with a bit of honey. It's quite soothing.".

"Aziraphale..." You sighed, your resolve slowly caving as you took a sip.

"Good, good," Aziraphale said, "Now, you’ll stay here for the night of course, won’t you? No need to rush off anywhere."

"I really couldn’t impose—"

"Nonsense," he interrupted again with his word of the day, waving off your protest with a flutter of his hand. "You’re not going anywhere in this weather, not while you’re under the weather yourself. I'll fetch you some night clothes and once you've finished your tea we'll get you straight to bed."

"To bed???" You groaned and Crowley nearly snorted, slapping his knee.

"Excited to play nurse again, are we, Angel?"

"Perhaps I am." Aziraphale nodded, "But with only the most honest intentions in mind, of course." He assured you. "I look forward only to seeing you back in tip-top shape! Now, drink up, and I'll arange the guest room~"

~

I'd like for this to have 3 chapters, but that will depend entirely on my ability to deliver...

[theexaltedbride]

Rabbit X Human Female Reader Headcannons (NSFW)

-Rabbit has once used his enhanced speed to slap and play with your ass and your breasts like they were bongos. Though if you tell him its too rough on your breasts he will be happy to just play music off your ass with his hands like a skilled drummer.

-If you ever show him that one knife fight scene from the Mask of Zorro, Rabbit would be happy to recreate it with you. his speed lets him be much more careful with things, even if it looks like he's moving recklessly. He's fast enough to deflect and dodge bullets, cutting clothes off without hurting you would be easy.

"You can consider it a reward if you do well in our actual sword training sessions together." He will tease you, and study the scene to see how he might be able to mimic it or improve it. The real challenge will be for you to strip him. At least he's durable so he can handle a cut or two.

-Rabbit can actually open his mouth very wide and likes to show you how much larger his tongue is to that of a human. Yes, your Rabbit gladly eats ass and will eat pussy like a starving man being given a birthday cake. He's not a coward about it the way some men are and treats it like someone saying they hate eating candy.

"More for me then!"

He's also skilled at using that tongue for more than giving speeches or sampling tea. He will do things to your clit that no human ever could. When he hears that many men struggle to do even that much it draws a laugh from him.

"How is it you humans say it? Ah yes! 'Skill Issue'."

Whenever you say how he is getting on your nerves and pushing your buttons, he likes to reply. "I know how you make you feel better, I just need to push one specific button." To which he will then lick his lips with his tongue or make some other kind of gesture with it to really hammer home what he means.

-A few times now Rabbit has wanted to chase you, just to really burn his stamina. You can only do it on Earth where he knows a random demon won't try to kidnap you. But each time he does it he gets such a rush, his cock throbbing, practically leading the way for him, and veins pulsing with need as he gives you a five to ten minute head start to run naked (save for some shoes or sandals to protect your feet from twigs and rocks) through the woods before he runs after you at the speed a rabbit is known for, getting his blood pumping, and his desire for you only making him want to catch you all the quicker. Once he catches you, his tongue will plunge into your throat, as his cock plunges into any available entrance.

Sometimes he can't even manage that, and just settles for grinding against you, his truly feral side coming out as he barely speak beyond huffs and gasps of pure desire.

And all of that desire, that lust, that need, that love, is directed solely at you.

-Sometimes when Rabbit is eating you out, his nose will press against you and it is surprisingly cold, which creates such a contrast with his breathing because his breath is hot (and only further throws you for a loop because his fur is smooth when it brushes against your thighs).

-Shower sex is entirely possible with Rabbit, he's not a canine so he doesn't produce that 'wet dog' smell, especially if using actual soaps when on Earth (and honestly that kind of experience is only possible on Earth).

-If you want Rabbit to be a Daddy Dom in the bedroom he certainly can be, and can deliver spankings like nobody's business. Just with his voice alone he can set the tone, and his demeanor can go from posh and proper gentlemanly, to stern daddy at the drop of a hat.

He will however refuse to spank you with anything but his own hand (either with gloves on or gloves off). He cares for your safety and won't risk accidentally hurting you with a paddle or belt because he's too strong. He will also only play like that in the bedroom. He has an operation to run and will not have his authority questioned by anyone because he can't keep it in the bedroom.

If you get too excited during your 'punishment' he will take notice and run a single finger along your lips before bringing it up to his mouth to taste it.

"Naughty girl, who told you to make a mess? I certainly didn't. That will be ten more spanks for each cheek, and I expect you to count them out missy!"

-Aftercare cuddle time is mandatory after anything rough and even more intense lovemaking. He knows he can be intimidating and wants to make sure you're okay.

-Rabbit sometimes has a thing for keeping you naked in the bedroom while he wears a suit. Your body is entirely exposed to him, and he can enjoy every part of it, its one of the few times he enjoys making a mess of his suit as you lunge at one another and really go at it.

-Rabbit explicitly refuses to have sex with you after a battle, especially if a human was killed. He does not want to associate these emotions together. Sex is sex, fighting is fighting. They should never mix. You are his source of comfort, and he doesn't want to poison that.

-Once you and rabbit were making love in his office in Makai when a demon burst in demanding to discuss business with Rabbit (something about wanting something special smuggled from Earth to Makai). He'd been told he had to wait, and refused to do so. Now he'd burst in, and Rabbit had to adapt to the situation.

Rabbit locked eyes with the demon, and kept thrusting his hips as he laid you out on his desk.

"It can wait until my current meeting is finished." He told the demon, and you. But with how his thumb stroked your hand, you knew he had a plan.

It was a display of dominance. If he backed out or cowered or tried to cover up, then he would look weak and other demons might think they could get away with this kind of behavior. So, he kept going while locking eyes with the intruder and didn't truly speak to them until he'd had his orgasm (A little bit after he'd made you gasp beneath him, to further show his talents and skill). The demon had intruded trying to put Rabbit on the backfoot, and was left feeling awkward and embarrassed as rabbit turned his own trick around against him.

No one ever tried that again with Rabbit, though you suspect he might actually enjoy pulling that trick again.

-At his most excited he puts new meaning to the term bunny hopping' when slamming himself into you. Its like he's a speed demon (well...technically he is?) and the only thing to calm him down is reaching three or four orgasms with you. His refractory period is insane, but he's got enough control to not let it be an issue.

This also applies to when you are riding his cock (be it cowgirl or reverse) and Rabbit suddenly gets it into his head to thrust upwards and use the bed to help give him some extra bounce in his movements, and really get you bouncing on him.

-Rabbit once tied the end of his monocle chain to a nipple ring on the same side of his body. He's not sure if he likes it, but is waiting to see how you feel on it next time you're intimate together.

-Not many demons can safely give oral sex, so it has become one of his favorite things from you, especially if you stain his body with your lipstick. It really gets the rabbit flustered, because his white fur is like a canvas for you to paint.

-When it comes to sex toys, he's not much of a fan.

"I can satisfy you better than any piece of plastic. That being said, there is one I do like." He says as he clicks a button for a remote controlled vibrator hidden inside of you.

"I do love to hear you moan."

-Rabbit didn't fully understand human menstrual cycles at first. But once he did, he began to save something special in mind for the day you showed signs of being genuinely pregnant with his Kits, he will make a comment to you of.

"Alice, you're late."

Any punch or kick or thrown pillow his way to silence his laughter will be utterly worth it. If he realizes he's going to be a dad, he's going to stock up on dad jokes, the worse they are the more he will tell them.

(And if you're into it, he will absolutely tease you about how many Kits you're going to make together. Rabbits are well known for multiplying.)

-------

Couple playlist.

"Better than Drugs' ~Skillet.

'Separate Ways.' ~Journey.