#i really really sobbed near the end because an amazing thing happened and

[asmallpinkfan3]

Hobie brown and young! troubled teen reader hcs (more like oneshot)

Note-this is the first time I’ve tried writing for him and if u get his personality wrong please forgive me.

TW: reader has issues, swearing, slight mentions of sucidal feelings. Also I’m not British so idk any slang. So if anyone is British out there I’m sorry. And I dunno if I’m gonna write more for him I gotta figure it out.

GN reader, also reader is a younger teen like 13-16

You had met him purely by accident, you ran into him while not paying attention in the spider society headquarters, he didn’t get upset really seeing that you did it by accident but it did catch his attention when you were apologizing like you had ran into Miguel.

He noticed the way your hands gripped your sleeve almost as if you were mentally beating yourself up because you ran into someone. “It’s fine”. He said with a small smile trying to assure you he wouldn’t body slam you into the concrete like your mind had overreacted because of bumping into him.

He saw you a couple more times around headquarters, spacing out,fiddling with your hands, etc. he also noticed how you stayed at headquarters a lot not seeming to wanna go home for whatever reason.

The time that you had actually got a proper introduction to him and not bumping into him or catch him looking at you was when Gwen befriended you and introduced you to him.

Overtime he kinda saw the way you would try to be near him without saying anything almost like his presence gave you comfort. He never pointed it out nor did he seem to mind when you went to his place to be around miles, Gwen, and Pav you would always sit near him.

Sometimes he caught you staring at his stuff, posters, pins, wall decor, all that. You seem to like how his place was decorated and he felt a little flattered.

The first time you had started talking to him and showing interest in his stuff by speaking was when you asked where his pins were from. “Made them myself.” He replied with a smile and you nodded in understanding. One time you had watched him play his guitar and you kinda just stood there and watched amazed at his playing, he didn’t mind. It’s not like you were being a bother just by watching with big eyes and being completely focused on it.

The first time you opened up was when you had a fight with your parents about something so small and for some reason you went to his universe. “Y/n? Mate what you-“ “can I stay here for tonight?” You cut him off before he could finish, and he noticed the tears in your eyes as it’s obvious you’re not doing too good.

“The couch is free you can sleep there for tonight.” He replied softly as he threw a blanket to you. “You caught it with a tight grip and nodded as a thanks and went to the couch and laid on it, you did have to move a pair of shoes out the way but other wise it was pretty comfortable.

In the morning you woke up to Hobie making himself some breakfast and you sat up and walked over to him, blanket still wrapped around you.

“Thank you for letting me stay the night”. You thanked him as he gave you a soft smile, he then took a sip of his coffee . “No problem mate, you wanna talk about what happened?” He asked and you sighed as you explained everything from your parents being assholes and constantly feeling like you wanna end it all.

He put his coffee down as he stared at you with a concerned look as tears started falling. “Mate, you need a hug?” He asked softly as it’s pretty much the only thing he can offer as he watched a young teen just tell him everything on why they feel like shit constantly.

You nodded as he then gave you a massive hug mainly cause he’s 6’5 and you felt safe, protected, like nothing could harm you. “I’m just tired of everything and my parents don’t help, and being a spider person it just-“ you sobbed into him as he rubbed your back keeping his voice soft and low. “Shh mate it’s ok, it’s alright your parents aren’t here and I’m not gonna judge ya, ok?”

He didn’t move or let go till you did and when you stopped crying he wanted to make sure you felt at least a little better so he tried to think. “How about this, we go get ya cleaned up and go somewhere, you ever had fish and chips?”

You shook your head as you looked up at him and he only smirked a little trying to lighten your mood. “There’s this small shop around here we can go get some, plus their food is really good not like that rubbish that big company’s produce.” He explained as it got a small smile from you. “I would like that”. You responded as you put the blanket that’s currently wrapped around you on the couch.

[miss-nandini]

Can I request some Azul x f!reader angst? Like she accidentally sees him in his true form and he lashes out at her because of his insecurities and she tries to reaffirm him that she doesn’t mind what he looks like, but Azul keeps lashing out not listening or believing her until she yells at him that she loves him no matter what he looks like or what he has done and reader and Azul both realized that she just confessed to him (Happy ending please and thank you! 🥹🖤🖤🖤)

A/N: I wanted to write something like this for so long, thank you 💜💜💜

All about you! (F! Reader)

It was accidental, really. You didn't mean to pry. It just...kind of happened. What you didn't expect was, you and him ending up quarreling.

He thinks you hate him now. All this time, he kept his best act up so he can prove himself worthy of you. But now? Well, who can love a stupid, ugly octopus like him? Honestly, he blamed himself. He can't stand his true form then how will YOU even LOOK at it?

You, on the other hand tried to console him. You told him countless of times before that his looks doesn't matter to you. You love him for him. But, he doesn't seem to believe you at all.

"Oh, shut up (Y/N)! What do you know? Why did you even come in here?"

"Seriously?! Azul come on, you know I love you; right?"

"Yeah, right."

"Azul, I would never lie about that!"

"Everybody does. What makes YOU different, prefect?"

"I love you Azul, that's the difference!"

"No, you don't! Nobody can love someone like me! I know you hate me! So stop lying already!!"

"For God's sake, I'm not lying!! I thought I knew you. Did I?"

"Well, did you? Angelfish."

"Don't answer a question with a question."

"Leave."

"What...?"

"Leave and don't EVER come back."

Well, that was that. After his outburst, you left and continued with your classes. His accusing tone hurt, the fact that he doesn't trust you hurt. The whole day you were at the verge of tears. At some point even your friends suspected something. But, you brushed off their concerns.

It was around 10:00 pm when you found Jade at your door. You were confused. It's not normal for Jade to show up out of nowhere, unless there's something wrong. But, to be honest the Octavinelle trio were the last ones you wanted to see after your argument with Azul. You wanted to ask what's wrong but Jade beat you to it.

"Azul is locking himself up in his bathroom. He just wouldn't come out. Can you go see him?"

"He told me to fuck off, Jade."

"...You out of all people should know that is the last thing he wants."

"...Fine."

Soon enough, you found yourself near his bathroom door. You were ready to bang on the door for the heck of it, but to your surprise, the door was slightly ajar.

"...Azul?"

You poked your head inside and there he was, sitting in the bathtub in his octo-mer form. He was sobbing the life out of himself. You suppressed a long sigh and stepped in the bathroom and locked the door behind you.

That caught his attention. Oh, of course it's you—wait a damn second, it's YOU?! How?! After all the nonsense he spat, he never imagined in his wildest dreams that you will come back for him.

"(Y-Y/N)...? W-what are you doing here...?"

"Well, can't let you drown in misery alone, can I?"

"...(Y/N), you should hate me—

"Oh, for fucks sake Ashengrotto, how many times do I need to tell you that I LOVE YOU! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU LOOK!!"

You yelled and he flinched.

"...Look, you can be an octopus or whatever. But, I only see the amazing boy I fell in love with and you know what? Your true form looks perfectly fine to me."

"Just because you said it, doesn't make it true." He chuckled bitterly.

"I'm not only saying idiot, I'm seeing it."

"Oh really?"

A sloppy smirk painted his face. "Then you better come here, so I can make it up to you."

His tentacles pulled you in the tub with him before his lips landed on yours.

"...I'm sorry, angelfish..."

"Apology accepted."

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 21

NERV Origins: The Clownshoes Abduction

Okay, so this one is kind of confusing, because it flashes back and forth a lot. Let's go over the present-day stuff first and then we'll cover the scenes from the past.

Admiral Clownshoes gets abducted right under NERV's nose. I gave him a silly name because I couldn't be bothered to look up his actual name, but to be clear, he's the second-in-command of NERV, after Gendo Ikari himself. So it's kind of amazing that he could get kidnapped like this, although it's also kind of stupid, because this guy has done fuck-all since the story started. Gendo's the mastermind of NERV and the Evangelions and everything else that goes on here. Misato and Ritsuko pretty much handle all of the logistics and combat stuff. All the "Vice Commander" ever does is stand beside Gendo and make wry observations to him. I don't get the sense that he has any real purpose in the organization. I named him "Clownshoes" for a reason.

Anyway, NERV Intelligence suspects Kaji Ryoji, who was recently kicked out of NERV for being a double agent working for the Japanese Interior Department. Since Misato is known to be his lover, they hold her in a detention cell just in case she's an accomplice.

Regardless of Kaji's role in the abduction, the ones who wanted Clownshows are SEELE. I was starting to get the impression that SEELE was the name of the committee of grumpy old men who talk to Gendo Ikari whenever things go wrong. But apparently SEELE is another, even more mysterious group of dipshits behind the committee of grumpy old men. They wanted to talk to Clownshoes directly, without Gendo in the room, so they staged this abduction to make it happen.

Near the end of the episode, Kaji shows up to rescue Clownshoes. Clownshoes warns him that he might get killed for this, and Kaji says that he just wants to get closer to the truth. Uh... how does this help, exactly?

Like, I really don't get it. SEELE wanted something from Clownshoes, but we never actually find out what it is. They're mad about Eva Unit 01 absorbing an S2 from that Angel it ate a couple of episodes back. Now they think it's become a god, and they've lost confidence in Gendo. But what's Clownshoes supposed to do about that exactly?

And how is Kaji connected to any of this? I think the idea here is that NERV or SEELE set him up to take the fall for the kidnapping. The fact that he's rescuing Clownshoes seems to suggest that he wasn't the one who kidnapped him, except no, Kaji's been playing one side against the other the whole time. He's totally the kind of character who would kidnap a guy to spite NERV and then free him to spite SEELE. I'm not saying that's how it went down, but this episode doesn't really make it clear to me that he didn't abduct Clownshoes.

Somebody eventually catches up to Kaji near one of those slow-moving ventilation fans, like the one that stymied Goku in Dragon Ball GT. Yes, I'm still mad about that, by the way. He asks some unseen character what took so long, and then there's a gunshot sound and I guess that means he's dead. Well, good. Kaji sucked and I hated him. Rest in piss, you smug womanizing prick.

By now, Misato's been released, and she's pretty sure that means Kaji has already been killed, but then she gets a voicemail from him, and he says his goodbyes. Also he asks her to tend his watermelon garden for him. Man, fuck your watermelons, Kaji. Nobody's got time for that shit.

Misao breaks down and sobs over the dinner table, while Shinji hears her from the bedroom and covers his head with a pillow to drown out the crying. He doesn't know what to say to comfort her, but he does understand what she's going through.

All right, I think that does it for 2015, so let's look at the flashback stuff.

In 1999, Professor Clownshoes is tasked with mentoring a promising young student named Yui Ikari. She looks... familiar. Oh dammit...

Soon after, Clownshoes made the acquaintance of Gendo....... Rokubungi. He and Yui eventually start dating, and the next time Clownshoes meets him is after Second Impact, on a research mission in what's left of Antarctica. There, Gendo informs him that he and Yui have married, and he took her last name.

Eventually, a man named Keel, working for the SEELE organization starts the whole cover story about Second Impact being caused by a meteor strike. Clownshoes knows better, that it was caused by a "Giant Man", Adam, the First Angel. He eventually figures out that Gendo Ikari and SEELE knew Second Impact was going to happen. That's why Gendo left Antarctica right before it happened. He had been working with Misato's dad's research time, and I guess they discovered Adam and Gendo left them to take the fall.

Clownshoes threatened to expose the conspiracy, but Gendo showed him something first: An underground expanse, that "someone else" excavated. I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but this is the space where the NERV base is located in 2015. SEELE and the Ikari's established a research facility here, and I guess that's what convinced Clownshoes to go along with their secrets? I don't get it.

One day in 2004, Yui was working on some sort of experiment, and she brought their son Shinji to work so he could see it. Over there on the left is Ritsuko Akagi's mother. We'll get to her in a moment.

Clownshoes didn't approve of Shinji's presence in the lab, but Yui wanted him to see her experiment, to show him how bright the future would be. Those were literally her last words, as she died shortly after saying them.

So this is where that rumor started about Gendo killing his wife. She died in an accident of some sort, but it's hard not to imagine Gendo being at least partially responsible, since he's the driving force behind everything that went on in this place.

But Gendo was cleared of any wrongdoing, and soon after her death he started working on the Human Instrumentality Project.

However, it's still possible that Gendo had something to do with it. Even if he didn't directly sabotage Yui's work, he might have manipulated Dr. Akagi into doing it for him. That's because Akagi had a thing for him, and when Yui died, she admits to herself that she had hoped it would happen. Not long after, she and Gendo make out in the lab...

And Akagi's daughter, Ritsuko sees them going at it. This is like her first day on the job, and she sees the director porking her mom. Wild.

Not long after, Gendo starts bringing some other kid to work, and he explains that he's decided to care for the daughter of some acquaintance, which is totally the sort of thing a genuine hyu-mon person with real organs would say out loud. He introduces her as Rei Ayanami and... oh fuck we're really doing this. Akagi even notices the resemblance right away, so it's not a coincidence.

One night, Akagi sees Rei wandering around by herself, and Rei calls her an old hag. Akagi warns her that she'll get in trouble with Gendo, and she says he's the one who always calls Akagi a useless old hag. Akagi snaps and murders Rei in a fit of rage. Uh... okay?

When Akagi comes to her senses, she apparently throws herself over the safety railing, dying among the three supercomputers she just finished building. Soon after this, Keel reorganizes this thing into the NERV Agency.

And yeah, I think that's everything.

So if Rei isn't some sort of clone of Shinji's dead mother, this show is working very hard to fool me into thinking so. I mean, the resemblence of Rei to Yui aside, we see Li'l Rei get strangled to death in the past. So how is Rei alive in the present? If she's a clone, it stands to reason Gendo has a few spares.

I don't know the why of it. Maybe he just desperately wants his wife back, so he's waiting for one of the clones to grow up so they can get married. Or he thinks he can resurrect Yui but he needs a Rei to serve as a vessel for her disembodied consciousness. Maybe Yui's mind is trapped inside Eva Unit 00 the way Shinji was stuck in Unit 01 recently. Or maybe Gendo just wanted a loyal follower, and he only used Yui's genes because he had a sample handy.

For my part, the Yui-Rei connection is the only part of this that actually matters to me in this episode. Kaji's death is irrelevant. I'm glad he's dead. All the stuff with Ritsuko and her mom was dumb. Like, aside from killing Rei and then herself, all Dr. Akagi did was talk about the supercomputers she named after the Three Wise Men, and how she modeled them after three aspects of her personality. It's just a callback to Episode 12, with nothing else added.

And the whole story seemed to be centered around Clownshoes, except he never actually said or did anything to justify all this attention. I don't know why he threw in with Gendo in the 2000s, or why he's in such a high position in NERV today, or what SEELE expects him to do, or what he's actually going to do instead. Kaji freed him like it was some bold play to tip the balance of this story, but I can't see how. Well, there's still five episodes to go, so maybe they're building up to that.

Oh, right, one other complaint: I was really hoping to find out about the Second Angel. Remember? Adam's the First Angel, the one who exploded and caused Second Impact. The first time we see an Angel in this show, it's called the Third Angel. So what happened to the Second Angel, who would have appeared somewhere in between? I just assumed a flashback episode would have touched on that. Oh well.

[papabearbobbynash]

I'm so glad that you posted that screenshot because I've been dying to speculate with someone since I saw it!!

Flabbergasted is deliberately neutral. The definition just means 'greatly surprised or astonished.' The part about needing 3 days to recover could be construed as devastating (I can't get out of bed, sob) or amazing (I can't get out of bed, squee).

So we have to think: what would be TRULY astonishing? I feel like there are two real options.

One, a MCD. Which makes me want to vomit. And frankly, it's just SO hard for me to believe that there's a MCD. Others have hinted that characters will be in danger but "save each other" and spoken about the finale positively. I also kind of feel like the news might have gotten out if main cast was leaving. So to ME, a MCD seems unlikely, no??

Two, a relationship development that would be truly unexpected, like a break-up or getting together. And I don't see a break-up - Bathena and Henren are solid, and Madney just got engaged. As for getting together, the only thing that would be astonishing and unexpected would be a Buddie development 🤣 I know that he used to be a huge Buddie shipper (and might still be) but doesn't tweet much about them anymore. But when he did, it was often vague like this.

Of course I could be way off-base and it's about LS, buuuut I.just.don't.know. For my self-preservation, I'm going to refuse to believe that it's a 911 MCD.

Hi anon.

So, I was thinking too, English isn't my native language, so usually I do see that word thrown around mostly for shock (majority of the times in fandom, not always in good way). So I was wondering what that could imply and relate it with what we know about the events in the finale.

I really don't think It's a MCD, even if there were hints and foreshadows (for Madney and Bathena), if I'm not wrong I do remember of Oliver pointing out everyone would be on a good place at the end of the season, so I doubt death is on board here, plus killing a main in the season finale would mean unfinished business to solve in the next season (because if they ever had the audacity to skip over the grief process and pretend it didn't happen I would be on national news), something we know the writers of this show don't like of dealing with. Also if they killed off one of the mains and cancelled the series (like they did, and then ABC saved it) I would be really pissed off with the lack of consideration.

Maybe, there is some real quality angst or consequences incoming? Usually 9-1-1 works with that since the viewers got very comfortable enough to not believe in MCDs for the show.

I don't think it's a break up either. As you said Bathena and Henren are in very solid places. They had their relationships reaffirmed this season (the whole Florida arc + Wendel's death investigation just solidify Bathena's trust and support for each other, and Karen's near death was a way of writers showing how long Henren came through). Madney just had an entire arc for their engagement which was a huge step for Maddie, so it would be a slap in the face of the fans to back off this and create some stupid complication.

I wish I could believe it's Buddie getting together, but I don't really trust Buck's character direction (specially) to pay off all the build up they did for him this season. Eddie is in a good place mentally, but Buck? He is currently a mess, with his still unprocessed death experience that smh got transformed into an attept to get himself some relationship, not to count the other 3 plots he had this season. I know the interviews keep selling him as having matured at this point but the problem is I don't see it. His coma dream realization got reversed a few episodes later as he was once again fixating on the idea of how people see him. Honestly, I wouldn't want Eddie dating Buck in that unsolved mentality. So even if the writers smh managed to make Buddie through that, I don't think it would be in a satisfying way.

Honestly I think if we're talking about flabbergasted (in the sense of a negative shock) I would put my bet on LS, since I remember of reading an interview where Tim Minear said some fans might be upset over the events in the LS finale.

[corvismorelike00corvis]

I just need to word spew for a moment, so please forgive me those who have no idea what I’m talking about 🙏

⚠️SPOILERS BELOW, BEWARE!⚠️

If anybody seeing this knows who Bards of New York are (who can be found at this link on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@bardsofnewyork?si=eqxsWcKuSXeEb5yh check them out they are SO COOL), and saw their most recent Regolus: Dark Age session, you’ll probably have an idea of what I am freaking out about. I will be diving in with no explanation to the uninformed of this Gospel™, so buckle up those who are still reading and have never watched any of their content before.

First of all, to start with the somewhat lighter topic of the amount of shipping content we were fed, it was absolutely superb. It was so so so awesome to see Katari finally get her feelings about Synnove across to Synnove, but was the amount of angst really necessary? I still break out in near tears thinking about Synnove’s desire for simplicity, and Katari not being sure she can give that but trying her hardest. As well, if you were watching the stream live on Twitch, you may have seen in the chat someone breaking down over how Katari is unsure about her ability to love Synnove in the way Synnove wants and deserves, and Synnove unsure she can really give all that much love to anyone after Stella left (which, Stella appearing as the Phoenix at the end and landing on [I think] Synnove’s shoulder is a whole different conversation to be had, which I have had an equal number of breakdowns over in the past few days). Their relationship has just barely started and it’s made me break into ugly sobs an ungodly amount of times.

Secondly, the elephant in the room, if you have seen it. Aelys and Godsleep fusing together, to have them hold off Hareem and his army of automatons? Full on ugly sobbing frankly, I am still in denial about everyone else escaping into the Faded Realm and Aelys had to stay behind to hold the line. All for the damned beacons, which are so important but I can still be Upset™! (I’m glad Jon can take a vacation, even though Aelys losing herself and having to take the most drastic option makes me cry). This chapter went so quickly from admiring their pretty outfits and solving a centuries old murder mystery, to the ultimate sacrifice for one’s friends and loved ones. AND WHAT MAKES IT WORSE (if that’s even possible), is that Bards, on their Instagram, recently posted a story with a clip where Damien began to make a tiara/diadem for Aelys :( It literally made me want to burst into tears when I saw it, because we don’t know if Aelys will ever get said tiara/diadem that she was actually decently excited for, LET ALONE IF SHE WILL LIVE OR HAVE ENOUGH OF HERSELF LEFT TO FIND THE GOLDEN SENTINELS AGAIN!!!!

Sal is still missing (Though Sons of Üthevhenan was ✨So Good✨), we have NO CLUE where Damien was during all of this, so he could still be just right outside Disterra to see/experience the combined force of Aelys and Godsleep going against Hareem and his army, though he could also be missing or kidnapped, and we’d have no clue! Now, Katari, Synnove, JB, Valor, Theagus, and Gold are all in the Faded Realm and have to somehow find their way back to Regolus, to hopefully make it to the next Lighthouse in time to get the next beacon, but the next Lighthouse could be the same thing again, with Hareem laying in wait to take the beacon as soon as they’re done! I’m also supremely concerned about what will happen with Sentinel Frontline, and just Regolus in general with the Golden Sentinels in the Faded Realm.

This is barely brushing the surface of all that’s been swirling in my head since Wednesday, and I can’t wait until next week to see what happens next.

Jon, and the rest of Bards, if somehow you happen upon this unfiltered stream of consciousness that was this post, you guys are amazing and frankly if I could play DnD with you all even once, it would be the opportunity of a lifetime. To Jon in particular, if you somehow ever find this, have a good vacation! We in the community will miss you and Aelys very much, but we will be fine.

If you’ve made it this far and you haven’t seen anything made by Bards of New York, what are you doing? If you enjoy DnD, which given by the tags on this post you might, GO CHECK THEM OUT!!!! They are such good people, and right now is a really good time to hop on the bandwagon and start catching up to the current point in their most recent campaign, Regolus: Dark Age! They are just starting Book 3 Wednesday next week which gives you some time to watch a few episodes to get a feel of what’s going on! They have an amazing community, and it is so fun and welcoming over there I promise you will not regret it. Though maybe don’t take the route I took where I watched 29 chapters in about three weeks, with videos ranging from 3.5-7 hours long. Anyways, if you’re reading this, go watch!! And even if it’s not your thing, you’ll have tried anyways.

TL;DR: The most recent chapter of Regolus: Dark Age by Bards of New York made me cry, and feel things, and get mad. Quite a lot.

Et Fin ✨

[tallulaballula]

Oomfs and others can I please have some advice on how to get my ex back who’s the love of my life? He’s my first bf and everything went really fast with us. I found out he liked me and I already had a small crush on him before, but I was head over heels before I even knew what was happening. He was acting totally amazing before it happened and I even have this one photo of us taken not even a week before he ended things and he’s just looking at me with so much love it hurts. He was really distant the four or so days before it happened and I thought it was because his great grandmother has passed. (She was 97 and they knew it was going to happen for a while.) He calls me and I’m obviously sobbing my eyes out, especially because that following Monday (he called me on Friday) was his birthday and I had the best gift ever for him. It was a rose Lego set because I know he loves building them and I thought the roses would make it romantic, a Lego Batman keychain because he really likes Batman and Lego Batman, a teddy bear Jellycat with forest green ribbons on the ears because I collect Jellycats so he could have something to remind him of me to sleep with and the green ribbons are his favourite colour, a hoodie from one of his favourite stores with lipstick marks that I made all over it because I know he loves when I leave a kiss mark on him and he sent me a video of one a while ago, and a candy bouquet with all of his favourite snacks in it. He wasn’t at school that day and my mum drove me to his house to drop it off. I didn’t tell him I was there but I knew he was home so I knocked and he opened it. It was the first time I had seen him in person or spoken to him since he called me. I told him happy birthday and that I had his gift for him. I had put the candy and the things in tow separate bags and I gave him the things in a gift bag and said let me go get the second part and he says thanks bye. I give him a look and ask if he heard me, and that there’s a second part. I get it from the car and bring it to him and again he says thanks bye. I look at him with so much heartbreak and I tell him happy birthday and I leave. Then my mom has an errand to run so I’m in the car. About half an hour after I had seen him he texts me and thanks me. He says that he’s sorry it didn’t work out and that he “hope I find someone for me”. I lose my mind and I’m sobbing my eyes out and then some nice guy tells me knocks on the window and gives me a lollipop and a hug and tells me he hopes it get better and to trust in God. I hope he’s doing okay. Anyways throughout the next two weeks I’m actively trying to run into him throughout my school, and even though we don’t have any classes together I do have classes near his that will cause me to run into him on the way there, plus two of my best friends have one class with him (the same one), and one of said friends has another. Actually he ends up telling the friend that he still loves me, but just ‘doesn’t see himself in a relationship with me again’ I end up messaging him a couple times throughout this with long paragraphs saying that I love him and I want to work things out but every time he’s saying he just isn’t able to do a relationship at that moment. Looking back on it now it definitely wasn’t a good idea because it looked like I was just saying whatever I could to get back with him, even though I meant every word of it. And not to mention I’ve kept wearing his pretty identifiable bracelets and I know he’s seen them because I’ve worn them in some Instagram posts and we still have each other added on everything. About three weeks after the first phone call I’m sobbing on the phone to my friend and she tells me that apparently he likes some blond girl in a different grade. I’m immediately upset and I call a female friend of his, let’s call her Sarah, and Sarah was his exs best friend and agrees with all of us that that was a terrible relationship. (They were both controlling and she cheated.) Sarah texts him in discord and is on call and screen sharing with me so I can see. Im gonna do part 2.

[princessstarryahri]

Starting Over

Life is hard. I'm sure that surprises no one and elicits an eye roll from some. I need to get things out to hopefully process and let go.

TW: mentions of Drugs, Abuse, Narcissism, Addiction

I've always done things my own way. I am weirdly different from my family. Not in a "not like other girls way", but as in I am emotional and all they can express comfortably is anger. I feel things deeply (just a nice way of saying I'm sensitive), cry a lot, and willingly take on the battle of my mental health. Feeling like a mismatched puzzle piece has made me really have no one to align with or fully connect with. Which then leads me to get into bad situations. I'm not blaming anyone for my actions, those are my choices of course I'm just trying to give a bit of context.

I have been with awful people who take advantage of me and my overlooking of red flags, I have been SA'd, fought addiction, and been through abusive relationships. Now it's over and living without the chaos is uncomfortable, sometimes almost unbearable. It's so quiet now, I don't have to worry about waking up to hearing dishes breaking, yelling, or bracing myself to see what kind of absolute mess I'll open the door to.

For the past three years I was dating a guy, we will call him Blue, and he was not a nice guy. At first Blue was amazing, it was a long distance relationship at first. We live in the same state but he lived in a city that was not near me. We met online and hooked up once before but then he disappeared for a bit only to come back with a sob story that I wanted to believe and ignored the first red flag. He said he ended up in a mental hospital after a drunken night and saying he wanted to end his life. Looking back, I don't fully believe that is what happened but I can't say for sure on what may have happened. At the time I didn't want to invalidate him or press him because that is a big thing to deal with. So I gave him a second chance. He began taking the hour and a half (maybe more) long bus ride to see me on his days off and he made me feel so special. I hadn't had successful relationships before and this effort meant the world to me. He was kind, helped with cleaning and watched movies with me. He played the part so well. Eventually he told me that he was getting kicked out of his place because he wasn't cleaning since he spent so much time with me and I agreed to let him stay. I think? When he came to live with me it happened so fast and I don't really remember what happened. But I couldn't just throw him out, I mean it was partly my fault right? Red flag number 2 also went ignored. He was okay at first but then he started having trouble at work, he had transferred to a location closer when he moved in and eventually he quit. He was unemployed for a while before getting another job. I think it was around this time when he started using meth again. He had told me before that he used to but was clean. It bothered me but I didn't know how to approach it. I told him I didn't like it and he kept his use to a minimum I think but it progressively got worse. Soon enough he stopped working and things got tight. I wasn't working during the time since this all started when the pandemic was in full swing and I was able to get benefits. we coasted off those for a while until we couldn't. I'm sorry if the timeline is messy, my memory of this relationship sucks and you will see why later.

We started fighting and he stopped contributing. Some of this is a blur but I think for a time I was getting monetary help from a family member in exchange for cleaning their home and letting her see my dog. But Blue stayed home and tried thinking of alternative ways for bringing in money. He liked electrical work and began acquiring speakers and stereo equipment to "fix" he was successful a couple of times but most of that stuff littered the apartment. He also sold some medication he was prescribed but again not much came from it. I began to start declining in my mental health and isolating, but I had struggled with depression and had gotten a diagnosis of PTSD so I thought it was just that but this was different. Blue was letting the mask slip. He would put down my feelings and basically tell me that it was all in my head and I was the problem. When he got real upset he would throw things at the wall, break my dishes, and yell. He would never let me walk away from him as he would follow me and just yell. He would put me down, call me a bitch, tell me to fuck off and probably other things I have blocked out. It would terrify me and each of these arguments made me think, "is this the time he hits me?"

Blue never hit me thankfully but I think if he had not been thrown out it would have eventually happen.

The one time I told him he was abusive he lost it even more and said some awful things without a second thought. He attacked my appearance and belittled me saying "That would be abusing you". Anytime Blue lost his temper and did this stuff he never apologized and I was too afraid to bring it up. It was like he saw nothing wrong with what he did. The apartment ended up a horrible mess. Blue would constantly make food and let whatever was left rot and rarely clean. I had a hard time getting out of bed and kept letting the depression win. Anytime I would try to clean it became overwhelming, or I would get so angry, or it would never last and would be somehow worse. I didn't understand how he could live like that and not see anything wrong with it since it disgusted me but I was declining. I felt so low and defeated in our relationship. When Blue wanted to sleep with me he would be extra nice and once he got what he wanted he would retreat back to the living room leaving me feeling used. He rarely slept in the bed since I kept stuffed animals on it and the dog sleeps with me so he claimed he couldn't get comfortable. We were more like roommates with "benefits" more than a couple.

Blue had his own personal issues but never got any help for it. He felt like he was fine and didn't need help. But the truth is, he just let his addiction drown out the pain. It got so bad that Blue would do things to get his fix. I don't feel comfortable going into detail but it is a low point for addicts. I didn't know how to help and maybe a part of me didn't want to. That might make me a bad person but all I wanted was for the abuse to end. I wanted him out of my life.

Once Blue even got his hands on my drug of choice. Years before I struggled with my own addiction to a certain powdery substance. I had been at least 5 years sober from it and he knew about that. Yes there were times when I may have let it slip that I was craving but I always tried to find a better way to deal with whatever was going on. Blue didn't force me or anything but he had it and even cut it up into nice fat lines and I couldn't resist anymore. I had taking on the bread winner role with no help from him and I hated my job. So with everything going on I decided to indulge. I don't have a normal reaction to that substance instead of gaining energy I zone out and stop thinking, everything becomes quiet. I know it sounds strange but it's why I became so addicted to it all those years ago. And it's why I slipped. I was in desperate need to make everything stop.

I haven't done it since but I felt stupid and awful for flushing so many years of being clean down the drain and the day after I was so sick.

The last bit of our relationship went from the worst to oddly good. He got sick and he is insufferable when he's sick. He is very much a hypochondriac and blows everything way out of proportion. I didn't like taking care of him anymore because he would never go to the doctor and I think the drugs were taking a toll on him. He began being distrustful of medical professionals. He also went down some conspiracy rabbit holes that I ignored. Blue got covid from someone he went to see for reasons and got very angry. Then he got even more angry because someone was going to give him money but something came up (not sure exactly it was hard to get the full story out of him), but he started destroying the apartment again. I didn't want him to break the last dishes we had so I asked him to not throw things and he screamed at me. Blue had that habit of taking his anger out on me even when I didn't cause it. He called me a bitch and told me to fuck off and that I should die or something to that affect. Every time I would leave and go into the bedroom he would open the door to yell at me and then leave. I would close it and he would open it to yell some more. At this point I recognized he would say things to bait me into arguing with him and I didn't engage which also pissed him off. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Blue took a hammer and hit the wall which scared me and I went to see what happened. I was terrified if I said the wrong thing he'd grab it and hit me. That fear I felt was real and sent me into a panic attack. Luckily Blue was done with me and I retreated to my room. My dog was under the bed terrified to come out and I had to take some medication to come down but I knew that I couldn't let this go on any longer. I am a spiritual person and in that moment the only thing I could do was pray to the Goddess Lilith. Call it stupid or whatever but she had been reaching out and I was too blinded to understand. I begged her for help no matter what had to happen and I sobbed, fully letting out the pain. In a matter of weeks my prayers were answered. It was after this argument and a period of me avoiding him that Blue decided to act nice to me.

My mother called me and all the things I had been hiding were finally let out. She said she would help me get him out. So the week before Christmas she and some male family members came to my rescue and told him to get out and never come back except for an agreed upon day to get whatever was his. He was upset and slowly gathered what he could. he caused everyone to get upset with his disrespectful attitude. I just stood in the corner and tried to keep from having a panic attack. I truly didn't know what he would do and didn't want him to start yelling. After he left my mom helped me start the clean up process. She came over several times to help and it looks the way it should now. I packed up as much of his stuff as I could find and even gave him some food I know he liked, it wasn't much and I didn't have to be as generous but I felt kinda bad, I think my mind was so tangled at the time. I waited for the day he was to get his stuff.

I don't know how much detail I can go into about this day since it was traumatic and I am still sensitive to it but I will give highlights.

Blue and 3 other people arrived a couple hours earlier than agreed on catching me off guard. They continuously knocked loudly on my door saying I needed to let them in but we had agreed on having someone from my family here for my well-being and that was why we agreed on a specific time. I called my mom panicking telling her that Blue was here with other people and I didn't want to open the door. Luckily my step-dad jumped in the car and sped over. My mom told me to call 911 and get officers out here just in case so I did. Blue's friends would not stop even after I told them they needed to wait until my step dad got here. I was caught off guard and went into panicking because I woke up minutes before they got there with broken sleep and I wasn't fully awake so I got scared.

When my step dad arrived I felt better but was not relieved fully since I knew Blue would show up early to get in and probably bully me I just didn't expect him to be so early. He also knew I don't sleep well and I don't like getting up early which is what he tried to use to his advantage. Blue tried to accuse me of hiding a stupid chair he had worked on but I think my step dad had thrown it away when we were cleaning. I just let Blue talk and stayed out of the way. The officer who came just acted as a mediator and eventually they all left. I know some detail is missing but for my own sanity this is all I can stand to recount about that day.

Finally Blue was out of my life for good and I could move on. It has been 2 months since then and there have been ups and downs. As hard as it may seem there have been days where I miss the good Blue. I miss the way he made me laugh, the very few compliments he gave me, the feeling of his arms around me when I asked for a hug. Yes I did have to ask for physical and non sexual contact because he would never give it otherwise. He only did it when he wanted something. I also get mad at him. Hell the day after he got his stuff I wished I would have thrown it out and set it on fire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiTxcuMkqk4

That rage she feels that comes from giving your life to someone, putting yourself last, and being what they want or need only for them to turn around and screw you over, that's how I felt. I let this piece of shit, pathetic excuse of a man ruin me for three years. It may not seem long to you but for me, it felt like forever and it was like it would never get better. I lost what little sense of self I had, I lost all the money I was making because I was providing for us, I dropped out of cosmetology school because I lost motivation from dealing with him. Blue gaslit me, put me down, abused me, twisted narratives to make me the bad guy when he talked to his friends even when I was right there. Then would act all nice and make so many promises and would even clean just to make me believe he would change. I know I wasn't my best when I was with him and I made mistakes but I did everything I could to make Blue feel loved, accepted, appreciated, and safe. But I wasn't worth the effort to him. Did he love me? Maybe but only in the limited way someone like that can love. He also treated me like a meal ticket.

Looking back and knowing what I know now, Blue is a narcissist. I'm not being hyperbolic, I truly believe he is a narcissist. Looking at how narcissists act and think, it fits Blue, it's scary accurate. But I can only hope he gets help and turns his life around but I doubt he will. In truth I am worried about one day getting the news that he is no longer on this Earth. I know I shouldn't care at all what happens to him but when I love someone, I love them fiercely with all my heart and yes I did love Blue. I loved the good Blue but he died a long time ago or maybe he wasn't real but I like to think he was and I could catch glimpses of him in those nice fleeting moments. Blue is no good and I would never take him back, I know that but I hope he gets help.

Now I have to learn to navigate life. I'm alone for the first time in my life and for the most part it's okay. Sometimes its's uncomfortable and it hurts but I know I need to be alone to heal. Starting over is hard. But I know I'll be okay. I just had to get this out.

[lesbicosmos]

bored and procrastinating being productive so im doing this instead‼️

1. how did you find out about merlin?

either during or just after lockdown one of my friends had started watching it and was on about s2 and told me id like it. i started it and then binged it too far and she finished it like at least a month after i did

2. do you have a ship? if so, when did you start shipping them?

i have more ships for this show than any other show ever icl everyone's so in love with everyone else. like most people i was shipping merthur from the very start and also started shipping morgana and gwen at like episode 3. they're still my main two but i love mergana, mergwaine, mercelot, gwencelot, pergwaine and freylin (even tho they were only in one ep they were so sweet😭) and literally all the other main ones. this show turned me into a multishipper istg

3. what's your favourite episode/two parter?

much like 90% of the fandom, a servant of two masters is my favourite episode ever. but also some of my favs are the poisoned chalice, the moment of truth, the lady of the lake, goblin's gold, the sword in the stone two parter and also diamond of the day, no matter how much i sob every time

4. what's your favourite scene?

oh god too many. merlin trying to kill arthur and failing and gwen thwacking him round the head with a jug is up there icl. any scene in the early seasons where arthur and morgana are being so siblings. the entire section of the s4 finale where arthur's enchanted. the magic reveal. there are so many i can't list them all

5. what's your favourite quote or interaction?

it's probably gotta be "i don't want you to change. i want you to always be you." from the finale i think. but so many others - "you're the only friend i have and i couldn't bear to lose you", "he is your destiny and he is your doom"/"she is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love", also every time merlin is sarcastic and anything dragoon ever says ever.

6. how do you feel about the ending?

gay fan brain is screaming in agony but vaguely more stable brain thinks its good. nowhere near perfect, i think it was too fast and there needed to be more time where arthur knew about merlin's magic and we saw him dealing with the mental battle. but on the whole i think it was pretty good, the performances in it are amazing and it still makes me sob every single time. i do also love the open ending with the time jump!! it's like they gifted us fic bases on a silver platter

7. what's your favourite headcanon in merlin?

i love the idea that there were characters who knew about merlin's magic but never said anything, especially gwen and gwaine because you cannot tell me those two didn't already know. in fics i love when arthur knows and has been struggling with figuring out what to do for a while but in canon i think he was just too dumb lmao

i also love the headcanon (which is basically canon let's be real) that basically all of the servants and guards and anyone who ever met merlin and arthur just Know abt them and treat merlin like arthur's mistress

8. do you have a favourite merlin fic?

again too many i can't choose one

it's like The merlin fic rec but i LOVE and like the cycle of the year we begin again by katherynefromphilly

there are three i read the other day that i'm just in love with, all magic reveal fics and all by the same author. i love the writing style and characterisation so much 😭 in some sad way i already knew, something immortal and revelations by loser_angel

a sweet magic reveal rewrite of the end of the poisoned chalice - what most likely probably actually happened by TrebleMaker07 (can you tell ive been binge reading magic reveal fics recently)

gotta get a crack fic in here, this one's the knights playing gwen or merlin abt things they've heard arthur say - the servant or the wife? by diabeetus

and it wouldnt be a sarah fic rec list without the sapphics, so here's a really sweet morgwen au one i love, a little piece of home by doylefan22

this just turned into me recommending a bunch of my bookmarks but i love merlin fic writers so much ur all amazing

9. what is your personal headcanon for post-s5

if we're saying canon happens here, im a big fan of arthur returns from avalon for merlin. not for the country or for some big thing, but for merlin when his need is greatest because he's the only thing left of arthur's albion

if we're ignoring the canon ending, i love the idea that arthur lifts the magic ban and makes merlin court sorcerer. it's a common one but i can't help but love a fix it where everyone's happy 🤷‍♀️ i think gwen would know about arthur's Feelings for merlin and vice versa and would be fine with it, with either her and arthur staying together as a marriage of convenience or they're poly, either way i just need those three ruling camelot together

10. what's your favourite character?

morgana. partially because it's katie mcgrath and im very in love with her but also bc i just generally love mildly fucked up female characters. i can't say i entirely love what the writers did with her storyline in later seasons but she's so interesting as a character and she deserved so much better and i just wanna give her a hug

close second being merlin himself because who doesnt love him😭 i also just wanna give him a hug. every character in this show needs a hug wtf

Merlin questions to do when you’re bored

1. How did you find out about merlin?

2. Do you have a ship? If so, when did you start shipping them?

3. What’s your favorite episode/two-parter?

4. What’s your favorite scene?

5. What’s your favorite quote/interaction? (ex | merlin: “how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” | arthur: “i love poetry” merlin: 😀)

6. How do you feel about the ending? 😉

7. What’s your favorite headcanon in merlin?

8. Do you have a favorite merlin fic? Please share 😍

9. What is your personal head-canon after s5? (Ex: arthur dies and merlin waits for 1500 years | the roundtable lives | merlin becomes court-sorcerer)

10. What’s your favorite character?

That’s all!! Tell me if you want more!! Answer in the reblogs!! Or comment!! Or anywhere!!

[kitsuna-ri]

I don’t post here so no one reads this anymore so I’m just gonna vent a little. Just ignore it’s all depressing and pathetic. “Then why post it? You’re just wanting attention.” Maybe. But also it’s cathartic to just put it out there and maybe after I do sleep I’ll come back and be like “woah wtf was that about.” Idk. Just leave me be. I’ve had an awful day…year…life.

I almost attempted to overdose tonight because I am literally at my wits end. The only reason I didn’t go further than googling how many is too many is because Bug was laying there in front of me and I know I can’t leave her. She would have nowhere to go. But god damnit the temptation was there. This year has basically felt like a near repeat of 2018/2019 for me and it’s all been so bad and painful which sucks so much because I love my new job but it’s like I’m only allowed to have one good thing happen to me. I had to put down Oolong and I am still so devastated about it, I barely have any money to do anything, my home is disgusting, I’m just a fucking disappointment. Hell I don’t even have retirement money anymore so why do I even need to keep going? What’s the fucking point? I am honestly just a waste of space and resources. I don’t matter. I talk about how all my past relationships were bad and traumatic but fuck what if it really was just me? What if I have always been the problem l? That’s why I can’t get a fucking moment of peace. A little moment for things to just be good. My therapist told me to list five “amazing” things about myself but never followed up and thank god she did because I never came up with more than one. I would have said my fashion sense but it’s not like it’s original. I just follow the fairy Kei trend. Not that I can even fit in anything anymore. I’ve gained all my fucking weight back so I’m back to being a disgusting whale: I should have known I’d never be attractive. God I’m just a total failure. A waste of space. Now I’m just sobbing in my bedroom, alone. I wish I wasn’t here. I wish I had the fucking courage to actually end myself. Instead I’ll wake up tomorrow, feeling miserable since I can’t stop crying, and pretend everything is fine. I should’ve just let the kidney infection get worse instead of going to the doctor. At least I wouldn’t have spent $150. God I’m just a talentless, gross, stupid, waste of space. I hate everything about me. Should have asked me to list five true things about myself. Ugh k hate myself for even typing this: No one fucking cares, idiot!!! Just cry yourself to sleep and leave everyone in peace. Fuck everything.

[yuugami-tan]

just watched ode to my father..............CRIED SO MUCH

[sanderchu]

I’m sobbing and begging you for how you think Tommy and reader would act when they met eachother.

Imagine.

Y/n is a family friend of wilbur and during a family reunion wilbur drags Tommy along, you and Tommy being the only people in your age range they both immediately click and also almost immediately start crushing in each other. What BS would they get into

Family reunion shenanigans

Note: no need to sob I got you it’s ok- so don’t worry I got you :)

Reader: Fem!reader

Wilbur and y/n are pretty close all because of y/n being a well known family friend. So when the family reunion came along of course they invited y/n. When the day came tommy actually went along with Wilbur because at some point that reunion was bound to get boring.

Tommy and Wilbur went inside the open house filled with family well known to Wilbur. He said his hellos and had little chats with each person mainly people telling him how big he became and little stories of him as a kid. Tommy really just stuck to him like glue. You on the other hand we’re sitting in the living room as you saw tommy and Wilbur. You and Tommy exchanged a quick glance and smile making tommy ask who you were.

“She’s a family friend that’s very well known to everyone here, her name is y/n you should go talk to her she’s around your age and you both have a bit in common.” Tommy hesitated a bit, he didn’t know you and thought his first impression might come off a bit hyper towards you. But with a bit of encouragement from will he soon sat next to you and introduced his self.

That night was finally getting better for you both as you talked and laughed as Wilbur watched you both from afar as he was talking to everyone. “Wanna head out somewhere? This place is boring and it’s full of old people that know me yet never met and some I do know but there still boring-“ tommy looked a Wilbur for permission to Wilbur. Luckily, Wilbur knew exactly what he was trying to say with his face and nodded. Tommy agreed and both headed out the door before anyone can stop. Not like anyone will everyone was busy chatting away.

You and Tommy went to a near by park with a playground to hang out. You both fooled around as you both acted like you guys were pirates and recreating scenes from the lion king and the titanic. With a devilish look in both your guys eyes you both climbed that top on the play thing just sitting on the roof. Of course tommy tried to stand and slipped immediately down making you rush down. Thankfully he was ok and nothing serious happened just a little scratch on his arm but it was barley visible.

You both took a break before deciding to go to a near by supermarket. Why? You both had no reason. You sat in the cart as he drove you around like a whole race car moment. Thankfully, the workers were really to tired to kick you both out so you both drove around being loud af as darkness was fully upon you both. When it was closing time you both ended up stealing the cart and just racing back to the house with it but now with tommy in the cart and you driving it.

Wilbur saw you both he laughed at how crazy you looked and really considered acting like he didn’t know you both. During that time as well everyone was leaving so Wilbur was just sitting outside waiting for you and Tommy to get back. “I had a bunch of fun” tommy said as he got a closer look at your face, “me too”. You were gorgeous to him. The moon light in the sky only making it more of a mesmerized scene. Wilbur suddenly snapped him out of it when the Uber arrived. You gave him a hug and thanked him for making that boring experience actually fun for once. Your hug felt warm and soft making him try to hide how flustered he was. Wilbur shoved him in the car before he started to simp again and you waved to them as the car drove away.

He was unique, loud, creative, funny, and weird. Did you care? No you had an amazing time and wished that night would never end but thankfully as you started to head home Wilbur sent you his number so you both can have more moments like that.

Don’t ask about the cart- it’s just in front of that house now-

[chiarrara]

I finished it. It's so good.

The way this show had me choked up. I fell so in love with these characters and this story.

It wasn't 100 million percent perfect, i still have some issues (namely some endgame relationships *cough cough* predators *cough*) but any issues I had with the storytelling near the end just pale in comparison to how good the ending was. Tohru literally loved people so hard she broke a generations old curse.

And the reveal of true nature of the curse was very good as well. I love how this story really shows that all suffering, even at the hands of other people, comes from some need. That the god, and akito, were not really evil--even if you can't forgive them for the things they've done. Rin doesn't at the end, and honestly I don't either. But i do understand. I mean you could see for a long time that akito was clearly someone who was hurting, that pain was just so overwhelmingly warped into this destructive force that hurt so many people.

And the cat! The cat said that at the beginning!

Oh, side note. all these motherfuckers owe kyo an apology. I'm fine with how kyo and yuki ended, they had a very complicated relationship. but everyone else needs to lend that boy some words of regret oh my god.

Anyway, the story, the overaching story, was really good, and came to a really good conclusion. And tohru and akito being foils manifested in the best way! like everything tohru was, loving and kind and forgiving and patient and caring, akito was the opposite, not just in terms of their characters but in the narrative as well, and tohru's response to this force holding the people she loves hostage, is to love and forgive and reach out to that force, to that person, because that's exactly what akito needed. the lack of that love and care was what created that evil and tohru just undid her own foil. it's so beautiful. she's so amazing.

oh. my. god. the moment i realized what was happening, when kyo and tohru held each other. i was overfuckingwhelmed. and when kyo broke the bracelet. i'm literally sobbing. this show really digs deep into you and pulls these emotions out it's crazy.

yuki and tohru's final moments, bringing it all around. when he finally called her by her first name!!!!!!! really had me feeling like their relationship was the most important one, which, throughout, it really wasn't, but it was the original one and so it was nice to have it frame the series.

what else. i have nothing to say about yuki and machi. they're cute, he didn't need a girlfriend though. that wasn't his journey. arguably kakeru was more important to his growth, but whatever. idg why momiji suddenly had a thing for tohru. i feel bad that kagura's character kinda got thrown away after her conversation with kyo. she didnt' need to be 2 dimensional, but ultimately she was. haru & rin are my faves forever. idc about anyone else sorryyy.

the epilogue. iiiii kind of hate being boxed in at the ened of a story by an epilogue. like i want to be able to decide what happens next, buuuut it was very cute and sweet and i did cry. idc about their lil family, it makes sense that they had one, but i want to decide what that looks like lol. but them staying together, growing old together, just like kyoko wanted? yeah that's canon for me baby. i love them so much. you better believe i was bawling.

so i've come partially around on the random plot elements they threw in at the end becasue it ended up working out well, and told a good story in the end. It did add to the emotional weight, so i understand it more. and i just love this story so much so a couple choices i dont' get don't really bother me.

ultimately, 2019 beats 2001 for me. and i didnt' think i was gonna say it but it's just so beautiful, and so meaningful, and so well done. it's a full story, it's more serious which turned out to be a good thing because i wouldn't have cried like this for 2001. it was still fun and funny when it worked for it to be. the animation style is not that bad, the character design was overall good, even if i don't like it 100%. but ultimately it was so well made, and so effective, and told such a beautiful story. I'm so glad i finally watched this after knowing about fruits basket since like 2006. I'm glad i finally know this story because it has touched my heart so deeply and i know i'm going to be in love with it for a long time.

sorry to fruits basket (2001) haters. sorry you don't like 2000s shoujo anime eyes and cringe and sweet music playing every 2 minutes but i'm different. you may have watched it as a kid and can no longer return to it due to your association with your past self but not me, i'm watching it for the first time and i'm enjoying myself greatly

[kairoscler]

First Ruikasa fic ever! Inspired because @ticklish-n-stuff makes amazing fics and because I love Ruikasa angst/comfort and idiots falling in love or idiots realizing they're in love!

Warning: does contain tickles! Though they're not until a little ways in.

The Ruikasa happens near the end!

Rui sighed for the bazillionth time that day, plopping right back down on the bed after having gone over to his door and grabbed the doorknob. He had ended up not opening the door, noticing his fingers were ever so slightly trembling. 

As he stared up at his ceiling in the dim light, his little inventions piled up everywhere around him, the purple-haired boy could not help but be frustrated at himself. 

He knew what time it was. If he didn't leave now, he would be late for rehearsal. And he was usually the first one there. 

If the others had specific questions about the tech... Rui wouldn't be there for them. But he couldn't confront Tsukasa. At least, not before figuring out what was going on with himself first. 

Why had that one joke Tsukasa made yesterday affected Rui so much, when he'd completely brushed off much worse insults by complete strangers at school? Rui Kamishiro of all people was sulking in his room because of some stupid joke? This whole situation has got to be some stupid joke. And Rui had tried laughing at it, laughing it off. But it sounded far too bitter, and the feeling that came along with it was far too uncomfortable. 

"Rui! If you don't want to take it seriously, then leave!" 

At least, Rui thought it was supposed to be a joke, as the words echoed through his mind again. 

Maybe Tsukasa had just had a bad day, or maybe it was a really bad attempt at a joke, but the intention hardly mattered when a single quiet sob broke the silence. It surprised Rui enough to stop and think yet again. No tears ended up coming out, but he was only increasing in frustration. Why had one line affected him so much when he felt fine the previous day? 

Admittedly, Rui already knew the troupe could probably manage going on without his ideas. It's something his classmates had made abundantly clear from a young age. No one really needed his ideas. Sure they might be different or funny or ambitious, but everyone in his past could always make something just as good without them... they'd all said.

That night, Rui couldn't sleep no matter how long he tried for. He tried everything short of sleeping pills, since he didn't have any. In the end, he ended up pulling an all-nighter working on his next mechanical project to take his mind off of whatever was going on. It worked for the night, but... 

Rui remembered he had to go to school still. He might not pay attention because he can learn it on his own and get the homework done relatively quickly, but attendance was attendance. 

Even at school, his classmates observed Rui being a different kind of strange. Instead of scribbling ideas and mumbling to himself, he was oddly spacey, staring outside at the sky and taking several minutes longer to realize that class had ended. 

Not to mention, he timed his pathing to completely avoid Tsukasa, not even taking the opportunity to get into any messes or trouble. Even the teachers, who knew the way Rui was, were getting a little concerned. One even approached him in the hall and asked if everything was okay because "You haven't done a single disruptive thing, and you look kind of down." 

Rui seemed to be rather caught off guard by that sudden concern from a teacher, even laughing a little bit at that. 

"I appreciate the concern," he did not, "Yeah, I'm fine, just haven't been getting as much sleep as usual." He explains it away, going on his way before the teacher could respond. 

- 

Rui continued to avoid going to a couple more rehearsals without any better reason than 'I have to work on the tech for the show' over text, and it was strange for the rest of WxS. 

To Tsukasa, it was strange because Rui was always so invested in the rehearsals. Yet, now he's working a lot more on his machines than anything. 

To Emu, it was strange to not have someone to bounce fun ideas off of. Someone to understand her noises and back her up that it's a good idea. 

To Nene, it was strange because she knew that Rui wasn't the type to miss rehearsals. She knew he was the type to take shows very seriously in every aspect. And Nene's concern was the most concerning. If she was concerned with Rui not showing up without an actually good reason, there was something wrong. 

Nene tried not to worry anyone, but after a couple more days of this completely avoidant behavior, she said to Emu and Tsukasa, "I'm sure it's nothing too serious, but just in case it is, I think it's best if I go talk to him first." 

The others nodded. Out of all of them, Nene knew Rui for the longest and probably knew him best. 

Once Nene got back to her own place, she figured she might need backup, because nothing she's seen Rui go through had made the boy hole himself up in his room and avoid everyone. So she called the only sociable person in her and Rui's childhood friend group (and in fact the last member of said childhood friend group), Mizuki. 

Mizuki had met Rui on the roof of the middle school he went to. They were just as odd as he was, society had decided, so they became friends with Rui. While he and Nene were still friends, Nene had to go to a different middle school. 

Rui's mannerisms had basically settled in by middle school, so Nene and Mizuki were the two most qualified to read Rui's expressions. 

"Nene-chan!" Mizuki's voice chirped through the speaker, "We haven't talked in a while! How have you been?" 

"I'm okay," Nene responded, "But, I need your help with something." 

"Not even a 'how are you' back??" Mizuki joked with a giggle, then got back on topic, "What's up, Nene-chan?" They knew Nene wasn't much for conversation. 

"Rui's been acting really weird lately and I might need you to come help and see what's wrong… you know how stubborn he is…" Nene did sound pretty concerned. 

"Eh?! What's he doing??"

"He's just been avoiding us, especially Tsukasa, and he's been avoiding talking to us beyond greetings and pleasantries…" 

"..." Mizuki was silent for a while, and Nene wondered for a second if they'd disconnected… until they spoke again, "... especially Tsukasa-kun?"

Nene nods… then realizes Mizuki can't hear a nod, "... yeah." 

"He's in his place, you said?"

"Yeah, I'm headed over now."

"Alright, I'll be there as soon as possible!" 

Nene hummed in affirmation, hanging up the phone, then headed out to head to her neighbor Rui. 

-

Rui was working on machinery again, concentrating ability lessened due to the lack of sleep, but still working on machinery. At least it was getting done. 

When he heard a knock at the door, Rui jumped for a moment. He had sat there for a moment before he heard a familiar voice come through the closed door, "Rui!" That was the loudest he'd ever heard Nene be, "Open the door, Rui… I need to talk to you." 

Rui hesitated. He knew what she would want to talk about. 

“… I’m coming!” He called back, nonetheless. He knew he could trust Nene to keep quiet with what he told her, so he put the parts of his machinery he was dealing with down onto his workbench in a specific order so he would know what was where later, and then finally opened the door. 

The first thing he was greeted by was Nene’s concerned gaze. Rui realized he probably looked pretty tired too, but he still smiles at his childhood friend, “To what do I owe the pleasure, Nene-chan?” 

“You know what I’m here for, Rui. Why have you been avoiding anything to do with Tsukasa lately?” The question causes Rui to pause, trying to determine how he should explain it to Nene, and she took that as wanting to come up with an excuse, “And don’t you dare say it’s nothing.”

It seemed that the long pause was the perfect length of time for Mizuki to arrive. 

Since Rui was facing out the door still, he noticed them first, “Eh? Mizuki?” Nene glanced back at the newest arrival, to which Mizuki responded with a smile and a giggle, “Yup! That’s my name! Don’t overuse it! Let’s all go inside to talk!” They gently nudged until the three of them were inside Rui’s messy room. 

Mizuki went straight over to Rui’s bed and sat on it and Nene followed suit. Now they were both staring at him expectantly. 

“Well this is just like old times~” Rui chuckles, attempting to change the topic. He couldn’t necessarily just shove these two out, and he figured if anyone should know, it should be the two people he trusted most not to judge him. 

“Rui,” Mizuki spoke first, rather sternly, “you’re making them worry for you, what’s going on recently?” Nene nods in agreement. 

“… well…” Rui hesitates, a slight red coloration tinting his cheeks. This was hardly noticeable at the moment, but he was avoiding looking either of the other two in the eyes. 

“… it’s… not exactly nothing, but it is ridiculous and highly unusual…”

“If it’s bothering you, we won’t judge,” Nene spoke up this time, “and I won’t laugh, though I can’t say the same about Mizu.” 

“Hey!” Mizuki gently elbowed Nene with a giggle, “I’ll try not to~” they joked to lighten the mood. 

Rui relaxed a little, chuckling just a bit, but ultimately said nothing yet. 

All it took was a glance at Rui’s hands that were clenched in fists for Mizuki to realize the two of them needed to help him relax more so he would speak more freely. They looked at Nene and mouthed one single word. Nene nodded, understanding what they must do. 

“Rui,” Mizuki got his attention first before reaching out, grabbing Rui’s wrist, and pulling him onto them after turning him so that his back was against Mizuki’s front, arms held to his sides by the beat hug Mizuki pulled him into, their legs wrapping around his legs. 

“Eh?! What are you-?”

“Now, Nene~!”

Nene had instantly jumped up off of her place on the bed and got in front of Rui, devious fingers moving his shirt up and wiggling her fingers up and down his abdomen. 

“Pfft-!” Rui wriggled around in Mizuki’s grasp, but his ticklish nature caused him to noodle his limbs as he squirmed, shaking his head as if it would help him hold back his laughter. It worked at first… until Nene moved to his sides. 

“Nahaha- Mihizuhuhu! Nenehehe! Why ahare you dohoing thihihihihs-…?” Rui’s struggles renewed in their intensity as the ticklish sensation spread through his sides.

“Well, we need you to relax, Rui~,” Mizuki explained, “You know you don’t like to speak your mind when you’re so tense~” 

Nene sees how Rui’s bright smile was plastered on his face as she tickled him, cheeks flushed at the prospect of being so helpless as he was being tickled. 

While this was torture to him, Rui still had just barely enough mental capacity to not throw his head straight back so he avoided bonking Mizuki in the face when Nene's hands moved up his sides, as far as Mizuki's arms across his chest allowed. 

But he really cracked when Nene wriggled her hands into Rui's armpits by moving her hands out and to the other side of Mizuki's arms.

"GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA- NEHEHE AHAHAHAHA STAHAHAHAHAP PLEHEHEHEHEHE-" Rui just about died, his laughter fading out into a silent laughter with tears in the corners of his eyes. 

Only then did Nene stop tickling him, smiling down at her very ticklish friend. 

Mizuki giggled, letting go of Rui and watching as Rui slid down to the ground in a fit of residual giggles. The two of them smiled at Rui, sitting back into his bed and letting Rui catch his breath. 

After he could breathe properly again, Rui chuckled a bit, "... thanks, guys."

"Our pleasure, Rui~" Mizuki smiled.

"Now will you tell us?" Nene adds, also smiling.

"Fihine, yes," Rui stayed sitting on the floor with his back against the side of the bed and both friends messing with his hair, "... it's just that, Tsukasa-kun said something the other day, and I really couldn't figure out why it affected me so much…" he conceded. 

Mizuki and Nene hummed in thought in unison. 

"And besides that, how do you feel about Tsukasa-kun besides that?" Mizuki knew what questions to ask, Nene thinks. 

"Well… he's just so bright and engaging, and just about everything he does is like a show in and of itself… and it…" Rui paused for a moment, "... it makes my heart feel like it's gonna beat out of my chest when he smiles at me…" Rui pauses again.

When Nene looks down at him, she sees his face is bright red. 

Mizuki looks at him as well, "... ne, Rui…" he looks up at them, "... have you ever thought that maybe it's because you're falling in love with him?" 

Rui froze, tensing for a few moments.

"Eh-?!" He was definitely blushing more somehow. He was literally a tomato. 

-

The next day, they had rehearsal again. This time, Rui went to Wonderstage. Nene met him just outside and she was also just getting there. 

"Ne, Nene," Rui got her attention, "I thought about it last night and… would you mind pretending to finish a last minute errand with Emu for maybe the first half hour?" 

She smiled knowingly at him and nodded. 

When Rui and Nene showed up at the stage, Tsukasa and Emu were there early. 

Nene ran on ahead and asked Emu for help running an errand, and said to Tsukasa, "You stay here." Very subtle. 

When Tsukasa saw Rui, the brightest smile came across his face and he basically tackle hugged the taller boy, though he made sure not to tackle him too hard. And Rui hugged him back, stumbling back a couple steps with a giggle. 

"RUI! Why'd you avoid me so much?? Did I do anything wrong??" Tsukasa's expression almost immediately turned to a frown as he looked up at Rui, still hugging him. 

"Well… just a little… but thanks to that, I figured something out. So it's not a big deal, Tsukasa-kun~" Rui explained.

"Tell me what I did, Rui, so I don't repeat that mistake! A world future star cannot be hurting the troupe he leads!" Tsukasa insisted, finally letting go and pulling back. 

Rui chuckled after a short pause, "Will you allow me to tell you my realization first, Tsukasa-kun?" It was a genuine question. 

Tsukasa tilted his head a little (like a curious puppy, Rui thought) and confusedly said, "... oh, okay." 

"... I took several days off…" Rui took a breath, avoiding eye contact, "... I was thinking a lot about something, and Nene and Mizuki helped me realize that I'm in love with you, my star. Your smile, your hair, your style… even how you hated bugs, but you still tolerated me telling you all about them… I… I'm in love with you, Tsukasa Tenma." 

The final confession caused his voice to tremble as he felt the tears in the corners of his eyes. 

The silence was deafening in the moments that it took Tsukasa to take in all of what Rui had just said. 

It took so long that Rui looked back at him with a concerned, "Tsukasa-ku-... mph-!" 

But he was cut off when Tsukasa rushed up to him and pulled him down into a kiss. 

Was this really happening? Tsukasa Tenma, the brightest and most accepting person he knew, was kissing Rui Kamishiro? 

It felt like an eternity, and when Tsukasa finally pulled back, Rui had to catch his breath again. There were tears streaming down Tsukasa's face. 

"Sorry, Rui, I-... I never knew you felt the same way…! I fell in love at some point and I didn't know when and… and I didn't say anything because I thought it might weird you out and I didn't want to lose my precious director because of uncontrollable emotions and-... and-"

Rui giggled and pulled him back into a hug to stop him from his rant, and of course, Tsukasa reciprocated. 

-

They didn't realize how long they'd been standing there hugging until Tsukasa finally pulled back again and asked, "... so… what was it that I did…?" 

Rui hesitated for a moment before responding, "... it was just… your remark about me not being serious… it… it really shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did so…" he fades off, looking away from Tsukasa again. 

The blond looked like he finally understood.

"Ah! I never got to apologize to you for that! I felt really bad after saying it, but I never got the chance be-... but it's still my bad. I'm sorry, Rui."

Rui chuckled, "It's alright, Tsukasa-kun~ after all, it's how I figured out my feelings for you, my precious star~" 

Tsukasa blushes… and they kiss again. 

[primofate]

Breaking up Part 2 Albedo x gn!reader

Sorry it took so long! Haha. Yeah tumblr effed over for me. But here it is! :D

Scenario: Breaking up and getting back together again

Characters: gn! reader x Albedo

Warnings: angst, break ups, regrets, did I say angst? NOT PROOFREAD

Categories: angst in Part 1, comfort in Part 2 (It was getting too long so split it into two parts)

Read:  (Part 1) (Part 3 - Final)

“Sucrose... Do you know where Y/N went?”

5 days 3 hours and 12 minutes. He’d been counting. He’d been counting since you left. It was only today that he had the courage to ask Sucrose about it. 

Sucrose jumps at the sudden call of her name. 

Albedo had not been the same. The frequent mistakes in the lab proved it. The constant slips of the hand and test tubes shattering on the floor told Sucrose that perhaps that was how his heart looked like too.

“...No, I don’t,” Sucrose simply says, then lets the silence of the lab fill the air. Only the bubbles from their experiments hanging. It was still for a moment, Sucrose going back to her calculations and research. Albedo sat in front of his alchemy set, blankly staring at it.

He doesn’t even understand what being “tired” feels like anymore. He hasn’t had a decent sleep. Every small movement in the house, every whisper of the wind he would bolt up in bed, thinking it was you coming in from the front door. Sometimes he would hear someone shuffling, he would stop and listen for you, but then realizes that the sound was the sound of his legs under the covers, trying to keep warm without you around. 

Sucrose glances up at her mentor. He’s buried his face in his hands, his hair in slight disarray. She knew what was going to happen next. He was going to stand up and just walk away from the lab, and Sucrose was not going to see him until tomorrow again. 

Tomorrow, the cycle would repeat. 

Albedo couldn’t function. It was pathetic. He really thought that he must be such a sight right now, eyes heavy with exhaustion, hair down and clothes a little unruly. He ran away from the lab again. He abandoned his “important” experiment and went back home, retreating in his room, falling on his knees and slumping on the bed in front of him.

He buried his face into his arms and tried to piece his heart back together.

“Albedo, will you ever get tired of me?”

There was a soft hint of a frown on your face. Silly you, Albedo thought. Always worried about being apart from him. He only smiles and cups your chin in his hand, leans in close to press his forehead against yours to whisper, “Never,” 

His fists clutch at the bedsheets, the fabric scrunching up under his hands. Every.damn.time. he tried to take a break, he would be reminded of you. Every thing reminded him of you. Breathing reminded him of you. It was as if you were right beside him and yet you weren’t. 

It was him. He was supposed to be the one asking “Y/N, will you ever get tired of me?” He was supposed to be the one worried. But he hadn’t been because he had taken you for granted. He thought that you’d always just be there, waiting for him patiently as you always had but now that he was alone, he realized just how lonely this silence could be.

“You must have been lonely...waiting here for me in this silence...”

His voice was muffled by the sheets, and he didn’t know who he was talking to. He did that a lot these days. Saying things that he wished you could still hear. 

The next day, just as Sucrose predicted. It was the same. Halfway through his experiment Albedo stopped, and stared at nothing in particular. She wondered if, whenever he did that, he remembered the things he said to you that day. 

But, just as Sucrose thinks today would end up the same...

it didn’t.

“Big brother Albedo!” Klee stormed into the lab, the door slamming open really loud. “Oh...I’m sorry, I didn’t check the sign... I...” Klee stepped out to look at the door sign and found “KEEP OUT” still there. “Oh no...! I did a mistake! Sorry big brother,” the little girl fumbled with her fingers and swung from side to side to show her apology. 

A hint of a smile appears on Albedo’s face and Sucrose was thunderstruck. There had been no expression on the Kreideprinz’s face for the longest time that the smile had felt so foreign. “It’s alright, Klee. Do you need help with something?” and his voice wasn’t hoarse. If there was anything that could cheer him up, it would be Klee.

He was done prioritizing his research over the people that really mattered. 

“Look what I got! I’ve never seen such a pretty flower in Mondstadt before,” Klee showed off the blue flower to Albedo, eyes shining and wide. Albedo touched the petals as Klee held it up for him. “Ah, yes, Glaze Lilies. You can only find them in Liyue, Klee,” Albedo explains. Klee bounces excitedly.

“Ohhhh! That’s amazing! Y/N must have travelled there recently!” 

The silence in the lab was deafening. Albedo’s hand drops from the flower as he looks at Klee, confused. Sucrose had stopped what she was doing, wide-eyed, staring at the young bomber. “...What do you mean, Klee?” Albedo whispered out. 

Hearing your name said by someone else made it all the more real that you weren’t here with him anymore. 

“Oh! See, Klee was in Windrise and... I was looking at the fishes...” Klee gasped a little, “Please don’t tell Master Jean!” she whispered pointedly but continued. “I saw Y/N there, and Y/N gave me a really big hug and gave me this Guh lays Lily,” the young girl got the name wrong, but Albedo hadn’t been listening anymore. He stood up and crouched down to eye level with Klee, hands on her shoulders.  “W-When, Klee?” he clears his throat and tries again, “When did this happen?” Sucrose had also been listening and watching in bated breath.  Klee gave one of her biggest, most innocent smiles, not knowing how crucial this information had been to Albedo. “Just now! I just came back from Windrise!” 

Albedo didn’t feel the slightest sorry that he bolted out of the lab without explaining to Klee. She would understand and Surcrose was there. He sprinted towards the gates of Mondstadt like his life depended on it. In some senses, it really did.

I can make it.

He was panting hard. His footsteps thundering in his ears. His breath coming in quick ins and outs. His heart is about to fly off its cage.

I can make it. It’s just outside of Mondstadt. 

Wind rushes past him, the pigeons on the bridge outside of Mondstadt, disturbed, flying away in a frenzy. Timmie shouting after him. 

Please be there. Please.

It takes him longer than he wanted. He wanted to be faster, wanted to be there already but he was still running. Still chasing after that hope. The adrenaline he feels pumps in his veins and yet he is so out of breath that he needs to stop. His hands resting on his knees as he closes his eyes and tries to get his breathing even. 

I have to keep going.

His legs were killing him. They were strained by the sudden rush of exercise and yet he still drags both towards Windrise. He could see the large tree at the horizon, but he was too far away to see if you were there. He continues to pant, steadying his breath, preparing for another burst of energy to run towards where he so desperately hoped you were.  What if you weren’t there anymore?

What if he was too late?

What if he never saw you again?

“What if it doesn’t work...?” Albedo asks, pondering over the research and discussing it with you over dinner. He loved to talk about his experiments with you because you gave valuable insights on it, and really listened to him. You smile and give him the confidence that he needs, “Then you can try again, Bedo. You always find a way!”

He’s still panting by the time he reaches the steps leading up to the large tree. His eyes dart around. He circles around in place, wondering if you were around the area. He continues forward, stepping up to the big roots and yet again looked around, trying to spot your familiar tuft of hair/colour. 

At the corner of his eye he spots something, behind the big tree. A Crystalfly. It was flying away and his eyes automatically follow it. There was a hand trying to reach out for it, but it barely grazed the Crystalfly’s wings. You stepped out from behind the tree, a little annoyed that you couldn’t catch the Crystalfly. 

Albedo feels like he’s frozen in time. He stands there and watches the wind caress your hair. Watches as you tuck your hair back behind your ear. Watches as you turn around and start walking away. He snaps back to reality and moves forward, roots and sticks cracking under his feet as he struggles through the root laden path just to get near you. 

You, hearing the disturbance from behind, turn around and was met face to face with the lover you left a few days ago. Something shatters inside you. You weren’t ready for this. You were far from ready to see him again. Why was he out here in the middle of the day? You stood still just as he did in front of you. 

You notice how his hair is sticking to his face with sweat. The fast rise and fall of his chest. The pained look in his eyes. The closed up fists on his side. “Y/N--” his voice cracks and tears start to pool in your eyes. 

You aren’t strong enough for this and you start to turn away.

Albedo rushes forward to trap you in a hug. His arms so desperately wrapped around you as his head rests on your shoulder. “Don’t,” he pleads. “Please don’t go. Come back with me, please,” there’s a different type of hopelessness in his voice. A moment later tears are streaming down your face. 

“I-I can’t Albedo. I--” can’t put myself through that again. I can’t and don’t want to be alone at home all the time. 

His body shakes and you realize it’s a sob that wracks his body. Your shoulder is slightly wet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Please.” You’ve never seen him cry. Not like this. Not as he clings to you and admits defeat. “I...I couldn’t take care of you--It’s my fault. I know, but--”

“I like Windrise. It’s very relaxing.” You say as the two of you walk around the tree, collecting materials. “Is it?” Albedo responds, stopping momentarily to look up at the tree. “You don’t think so?” you curiously ask your lover. He ponders for a moment before smiling, “I think coming home to you is a lot more relaxing,” at the early stages of your relationship hearing something like that from him would cause you to blush.

You pry his arms away and look up at him. His head is dipped low and you can’t see his face clearly, concealed by his hair. You brush his hair away and lift his head up, and you see how streaks of tears run down his cheeks. You see the sleepless nights in his eyes. The hurt that creases on his forehead. You see what your absence has done to him, and all in one moment, you think that perhaps you were too harsh on him. That you should’ve talked it out instead of leaving so abruptly but you-- “I was hurt...” your lips tremble as you try to explain. 

“I try, really hard, to make things easier for you. To care about you. I have never asked for anything grand.” You’re surprised at how level your voice is, despite feeling like you might break down just as he does. 

“I’m aware,” Albedo wipes at his face, frustrated at himself. His tears have stopped. You were talking. That must be a good sign. “I don’t--Don’t deserve you,” but he steels himself and places his hands on your cheeks. God how long had it been since he touched you like this? and wipes away the tears that were silently falling from your eyes. “But I’ll take care of you. I’ll prove your worth. I... won’t make the same mistake again,” 

And when Albedo said or promised something he was one of the few people that you believed in the most. He was trustworthy all the way, and was true to most of what he said. “You have my word... and if I do make the same error again then... Then you can leave. But right now I--” he moves to rest his forehead against yours, taking in the warmth and love that he had missed. “I’m asking for another chance,” he gulps. “Please,”

You stay quiet for a moment. Assessing the situation. But your eyes close at the closeness the two of you are in right now. There was no doubt that you still loved him. A few days would not change anything. A few days would not ruin the years that you spent together. But you were scared and guarded. You weren’t sure what would happen and if it was worth it. You were scared of being with him and being lonely. “...We... should talk and think a little bit more about this...” you conclude and give your answer, stepping away from him.

Albedo’s face grimaces in distraught, but turns into confusion when you take his hand and tugs on it slightly. “...At home, we can talk about this at home...Is that okay? Let’s go back first,” you would figure it out with him from there.

His head drops and he tries hard not to let tears escape again. He really didn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve this kindness but he sure as hell would take it. He would take it and make it right again. He picks his head up and squeezes your hand, voice slightly soft and trembling, and smiles.

“Thank you. That’s perfect,” 

and with his hand tight on yours, because he wasn’t letting you go again, the two of you make your way back.

Should I make a part 3 with fluff and write about the aftermath and how Albedo made it up to you? Let me know :D Message me :D Love me <3

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[themology]

druig x gn!human!reader “at dead of night”

ao3 link. | blog navigation / masterlist. | get added to my taglist. | request here.

@jun-junnie: hii~ i hope you are doing great <3 i would like to request, if you are not too busy, a druig x reader one shot uwu maybe a fluff one where the reader is human (gn) and they are afraid of dark and they are a little ashamed to tell druig that they have to sleep with a candle near them every night? i hope i explained myself :’), thank you so much!

notes: this is more like angst than fluff but idrk owbsoebsks, anyways i enjoyed writing this sm and i thought this was really cute! i hope you enjoy reading this!

summary: the universe really hates you for loving such an amazing... man, in one lonely night, the universe exposed you, of the thing that you are the most embarrassed of.

warnings/contains: fluff, angst?? maybe?, sleepy boy druig omg imagine his deep voice <3

pairing: druig x gender neutral!human!reader

word count: 682 words, approximately 3 minute read

the night is young and alive, an elegant, dancing maiden, calling out to you to  dance with you in harmony — yet it is like a cat, the moon are it's topaz eyes... and it is playing with you.

the moon looked like it was nowhere to be seen, and you had woken up from your not so comfortable slumber, just like you'd always do,

you don't have a candle, or a single light source in the room you both shared, since the moon is always as bright to aid your eye sight, just like what druig would always say, it's really weird to think about it

that was a silly statement, that stupid planet was totally nowhere to be found, and the darkness consumed your paradise

it's a shame that you have to suffer a fear that literally personifies your immortal lover, mysterious... enigmatic, beautiful, scary...

it has been long since druig told you the truth about who he really is and his existence, it's a lot to take in, but you believed and trusted him, and if he was going to ever hurt you... he should've done it by now

here you are now... alone, inside the cabin, with a candle in your hand, and your lover fast asleep.

you didn't wanted to bother him with your meaningless fear of the dark, it's literally the stupidest fear that you'd ever have.

druig? a powerful immortal having to be bothered by comforting you because it's dark? ridiculous.

the candle is on it's end, and you cannot find another one due to the poor light that it is giving, you are supposed to put it in your room... but it's dying...

you were breathing heavily, and is about to cry, "y/n... you idiot!" you said to yourself as you were quietly but desperately rummaging through your cabinets to find another candle, but you really cannot.

now you're regretting all of this, scolding yourself for not staying in druig's side and endure the darkness... you can always be safe at his side, without having to fear anything.

a creak was heard from the floor of your cabin and you immediately just dropped to the ground,

is that a creature to gnaw at your flesh and feed at your soul?

you couldn't yell for druig's name, for help, because your lips are trembling, all you could do is wait for your brutal faith on the floor...

the only thing on your mind was druig, reminiscing, how you first met, how he treated you so well, how he loved and cherished you—

"y/n?"

you blinked your tears away, trying to figure out who is the person, or creature standing in front of you, looking down at your disheveled, vulnerable state.

"my dearest... what happened?"

you could only sob silently at him as he helped you get up.

druig cupped your cheeks, "what are you doing here in the middle of the night?" he asks worriedly.

"i couldn't sleep..." you murmured.

"why so restless? my love?" he immediately responded

you sighed, not having any way of escaping his question, or his worried gaze at you that you could feel

"druig... i am... afraid of the dark" you stuttered.

druig sighs, "is that so? you could've just told me instead of suffering from this alone..."

"i didn't wanted to bother you with this irrational fear—"

"irrational? my love, you will never, ever burden me of the things you humans naturally have, you shouldn't blame yourself for it" druig kissed the top of your head.

"are you sure?" you asked, closing your eyes in a tired manner,

"yes... you can always call out for me whenever you need help... no matter how far you are, how hard it is, day, or even at dead of night" he reassures you with his drowsy, yet deep voice, his accent lacing in every syllable

you could feel yourself slowly nodding, druig wiped your tears away, "no more tears love, i am here... let's sleep again, shall we? i know that you are tired"

you'd honestly go wherever he'd take you.

additional notes: this is the kind of life i aspire to have, leaving alone with your partner in a cabin, it's night and then they wrap their hands around you and greet you with their sleepy voice, BITCH WHERE TF DO I FIND MY OWN DRUIG :((( the world is so unfair.

[cursestothemoon]

yay for the open requests! I really reallyyyyyy love your Harry's older sister hc, could u pretty pls do more? like their brief life as a family with lily and james, then to the dursleys and then at war, so on. I agree with the anon that did the request, harry does needed a bigger sister❤️

aH I LOVED THESE REQUESTS

YOU GUYS CAN READ THE HEADCANONS THIS ANON IS TALKING ABOUT HERE

ok so this is L O N G i need to add a keep reading tab

alright so let's talk about harry's older sister

so lily and james did not plan you

they were straight out of hogwarts

just having fun

and suddenly lily is having morning sickness and james running into a store to buy a pregnancy test (or whatever the wizard equivalent would be 😗)

james would be so nervous the weeks leading up to your birth

he already knows that you aren't even here yet and there isn't anything he wouldn't do for you

and when you are born

he swears he'd never love anything as much as he loves you

his little girl

this sweet little lump of baby fat that was born with eyes just like his

he'd put his glasses on your little baby face, and he could laugh for hours at the way they just barely sat on your little nose (a miniature version of his)

your chubby little baby hands are his favorite

when you'd plan your hands on his face or wrap your hand around his finger he'd melt

Lily would joke all the time about how she carried the baby yet James is constantly hogging her

I think james would have some serious separation anxiety

Lily would also have trouble leaving you to go do something but she knew that you getting to see other people would be good

james is NOT a fan

and you were a big daddy's girl

"it's going to be alright, darling, uncle Padfoot and uncle Moony will take care of you."

and you'd respond with sad baby talk, something along the lines of 'daddy' and 'wanna stay with you' and you'd get all teary eyed

it's a whole dramatic scene

youre crying

james is about to cry

Sirius is quite literally trying to sob silently into his hand because you just look so sAD

and remus and lily are just

😐

because you guys do this eVERY TIME

there was one time james got back into the car with lily after dropping you off and he was unusually quiet until he kinda just whispered out

"It just feels like i'll never have enough time with her, like one day i'll wake up and suddenly she's not mine anymore."

his tone gave Lily the worst chills, his tone and the fact that she felt the same though never voiced it

honestly

i don't think harry was planned either

he kinda just happened

and they were like

you know what, yes.

so you were two when harry was born

and you LOVED your baby brother

he was so small

so cute

and he had your mum's green eyes

from the get go you were very protective of your little brother

james thought it was the cutest thing

ok ive been avoiding it

but we need to talk about October 31 1981

you were upstairs with our mum and harry

james was downstairs cleaning up from dinner

that was when there was a knock on the door

assuming it was peter, uncle wormtail, james was quick to go open the door

grabbing his wand for protection was the last thing on his mind

the thud of his body was loud

he was killed before he could even open his mouth to warn Lily

the door to Harry's nursery flew open and it all happened so fast

there was screaming

bargaining

a sudden flash fo green before Voldemort turned to harry

his cold, pale hand pushed you out of his way

the prophecy had said nothing about you, so he didn't care for what happened to you he just needed to kill harry

which obviously backfired

half the house was blown up

he was gone

harry was crying

and you just wanted your dad

you found your way downstairs, just barely making it down the steps

lily and james had never let you go up or down the steps on your own

only to come face to face with your dad just lying on the ground motionless

his eyes were still open

now i want you guys to think of the lion king

you know the scene where simba finds mufasa's dead body and just lays with it because he doesn't know where else to go

you just wanted any kind of comfort you could find

so with tear streaks going down your face you slayed next to your dad, getting as close as you could, hoping he'd just wake up

sirius is the one who finds you, asleep next to james' body

it was rather rough for sirius

and he could hear harry crying somewhere upstairs

you wake up to uncle padfoot trying to keep in his tears as he takes in the scene before him

you're just glad to see a familiar face

you run over to him, tears freshly falling as you wail about how daddy and mommy won't wake up

you also gently pull james' glasses off his face and keeping them in your small hand

keeping them safe for him later

you knew he didn't like to sleep with his glasses on

eventually hagrid shows up

you guys know the story

but i will say

it takes a lot for you to leave uncle pads and go with this big strange man

youre basically heaving as you beg to stay with sirius

and forcing you off his hip and onto the bike with hagrid was the worst thing he's ever had to do

even for a two year old, youre eyes held such a strong emotion of betrayal

sirius would never forget it

the dursley's were not fond of you and harry

you had james temper and stubbornness

harry was just a 6 month old baby

doing 6 month old baby things

for the first month you'd ask for james, lily, uncle moony, uncle padfoot, even uncle wormtail on a daily basis

until one day petunia just snapped

you had asked about sirius, or as you called him uncle padfoot, and petunia lost it

she started to shout, her hand coming out to strike your cheek as she told you that no one was coming

not now

not ever

you never asked after that

over time you forgot about sirius and remus and peter

you forgot about the song your dad would sing every saturday morning when making breakfast

or the way your mom would hum when she brushed your hair

all lily and james had become were familiar scents and the same pair of eyes you'd see in your dreams (though for a long time you just assumed they were your eyes, they looked enough like yours)

and you grew up always feeling like you were on the wrong side of a billowing curtain

you and harry grew up only having each other

you were very protective of him

and dudley hated it

because you had James art for pranks

and his art for rarely getting caught

unfortunately for you petunia and vernon didn't need evidence to incriminate you

you were often on the receiving end of disciplinary swats and missed meals

and you'd often take harry's punishments for him

you and harry were also forced to share a room

or cupboard

you let him decorate it with all his things (he didn't have many)

and you guys shared a bed up until you got your hogwarts letter

which that was kept very quiet

you got the letter

and petunia and vernon were just glad to be able to send you and your pranks away

you weren't allowed to tell harry

but you did anyway

secretly

you didn't tell him all the details but you told him that you were going to a school far away and you'd be back whenever aunt petunia let you back

going to school was interesting

you didn't know anyone

bUT HAGRID WAS ALSO THERE TO HELP YOU AND BUY YOU YOURE STUFF AND HE BOUGHT YOU YOUR FIRST WAND

you still have james' glasses

you put them on when youre nervous

so youre sitting in the train

first day

you don't know anyone

big round glasses sitting on your nose as you look out the window barely able to see what's going on

james was as blind as a bat

on the train you spend your time reading your new books

absorbing all the material

you were not going to just walk into this new school of mAGIC not knowing aNYTHING

by the time you got there you were at leas base level with most subjects

some were easier to catch onto than others

as long as you didn't let the logical side of your brain do too much work

within the first week you'd find out about your parents

curtesy of older gryffindor kids who knew your last name and were just amazed by the story

oH ALSO YOURE IN GRYFFINDOR

AND WHEN MCGONAGALL READS YOUR NAME SHE GASPS TO HERSELF

BECAUSE

Y/N POTTER

she remembers when james had written to her with the news of Lily's pregnancy with you

and how he was nervous you'd come out just like him and he wouldn't be able to handle you as well as she had, he was asking her for advice

and when you walked up to sit on the chair she nearly dropped her scroll of parchment and pulled you into a hug

you looked just like him

dark hair

pale skin

same eyes and eye shape

and same habit of picking at the skin around your thumb nail when nervous

the hat announcing you were a gryffindor was very overwhelming for her

then she realizes you

are e x a c t l y

like james

and merlin is she tiRED OF THIS SHIT

ok so at this point i am going to direct you to the other headcanon (linked above) if you want a more fred x reader approach 

continue here if not

so youre on the quidditch team

and youre a natural 

let me tell you

you just have the innate ability 

much like james

and at first they had you as a seeker

and you were good

but you excelled as a chaser 

i also firmly believed that there was a practice broom that james had carved his name into

or maybe just a ‘J.P.’

that was the broom you'd practice on

even use for games before you got your own broom

ok so

let’s talk your relationship with harry 

you made sure you were the one to tell him what happened to your parents

as i said it was your first year when you fond out about what happened 

the gryffindor student had told you what they knew

and you went to professor mcgonagall pretty distraught 

you were near tears as you practically begged her to just tell you what happened, you wanted the truth 

because all your life your aunt and uncle had told you that your parents had been killed in a car accident 

needless to say 

you didn't want harry to find out that way

but you also knew he was noticing the stares

the whispers

so you told him on the first night

he had already been put into gryffindor and was getting ready for bed when you are up to his dorm 

bECAUSE IT’S CANON THAT GIRLS CAN GO UP INTO THE BOYS DORMS AND BOYS CANT GO UP INTO THE GIRLS DORMS AND I WILL CITE THE PARAGRAPH IF ANYONE NEEDS

and you kinda push out ron, neville, and dean 

but yeah thats how he finds out all the details and such 

ok so you and harry are sUPER CLOSE

and you are very 

v e r y

protective of harry 

you'd do anything for the kid 

wHEN YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THE WHOLE SORCERER’S STONE FIASCO 

YOU ARE LIVID

because harry is your baby brother and you love him so much and don't like seeing him hurt 🥺

as harry grows older he gets a bit more

embarrassed 

about having you protective over him

and im pretty sure i mentioned this in the last headcanon post 

but yeah he’d be like 14 and you'd be 17 and he'd just

“stOP this is so emBARRASSING”

what a little dweeb

ok leTS TALK ABOUT SIRIUS 

BECAUSE YOU AND SIRIUS WERE CLOSE WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER

HE WAS UNCLE PADFOOT

YOU LOVED HIM

until your fifth year (harry’ third) when you were told he betrayed your parents and got them killed 

youre in the whomping willow when with harry, hermione, and ron 

its a lot for both of you

because sirius is seeing his goddaughter who looks just like james, and his the same fire in her eyes as his bestrfriend

his b r o t h e r 

and youre seeing the man who was responsible for your parents murder 

again 

it was A LOT

i have a feeling you, JAMES POTTERS DAUGHTER, would just lunge at him 

and youre crying

trying to hit him

hurt him like he hurt you

just anything to bring pain upon this man

and sirius is having flashbacks of when you had ran to him from next to james’ lifeless body 

and how different everything had been just days prior to October 31 1981

upon finding out the truth 

scammers is now wormtail

peter ‘little bitch ass’ pettigrew

you and harry are immediately forming this connection

this sort of dependency on sirius 

within a few minutes

because he is the only living connection you have to your dad 

apart from yourselves of course

but eh was the only reminder that james potter was a real man 

and lily potter did exist 

and there was a time where your family was complete 

it never crossed your mind that any more misfortune could strike 

not now 

not when you finally got back your uncle pads

and then you guys walk into the moonlight, the full moon light

everything flips instantly 

you guys are back to square one 

i like to think you have a very big part in getting sirius free 

so you guys know what happen in between prisoner of azkaban and order of the phoenix 

and this headcanon is already getting very long and we haven't even gotten to the wAR YET 

so we are doing a little time jump

order of the phoenix 

your last year

you are living with sirius in grimmauld place 

petunia and vernon kicked you out once you turned 17 after finding out that was the legal age in the wizarding world

you and sirius are close 

super close

i mean he is like a father figure to you

he is uncle pads again

oOO AND OK 

SO 

AFTER FINDING OUT HIS DAD AND HIS BROS 😤

WERE ALL UNREGISTERED ANIMAGI 

OBVIOUSLY YOU WANTED TO BE ONE TOO 

youre a gazelle 

it just makes sense

father figure sirius is not happy when he finds out

uncle pads, however, couldn't be happier

its finally starting to feel like a family again

you and harry have sirius 

aLSO REMUS

icon

anyway

everything is falling into place

you and harry are filling the james sized hole in Sirius’ heart (not completely but it’s better)

and he is doing the same for you two

you and harry love your uncle pads

then the battle in the department of mysteries happens 

youre there

you see it 

you watch as bellatrix hits sirius with a curse 

youre not sure which 

nothing too serious you hope, and seeing that he’s still standing he should be fine 

but then he stumbles

she's stunned him perhaps 

and he makes eye contact with you

there was a look so final, so sad

yet so relieved in his eyes as you watched him fall through the veil

remus grabbed harry

tonks held you

if she hadn’t been you knew you would've thrown yourself into the veil after him

its a whirlwind from then on let me tell you

so we know what happens

all that fun stuff 

the war hits

harry, hermione, and ron leave

youre left with the weasley’s 

it’s hard being away from harry

not knowing if he was ok

if he was even alive 

you guys finally reunite at shell cottage 

bill calls you the second he sees harry, hermione, ron, and dobby apparate in front of his house

you were quick to pull harry into a bone crushing hug 

keen on never letting go 

because after all he is still (and always will be) your baby brother 

you guys are all at the battle of hogwarts

oK WAIT

SO

YOU REFUSE TO LET HARRY WALK TO HIS DEATH ALONE

ALSO YOUVE FIGURED WHAT HE PLANS ON DOING BUT NEITHER OF YOU HAVE SAID ANYTHING

NOT WANTING TO ACCEPT THAT THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME YOU GUYS SEE EACH OTHER 

AND THE RESURRECTION STONE COMES OUT 

BOTH YOU AND HARRY ARE HOLDING ONTO IT 

AND SUDDENLY

SIRIUS 

REMUS 

THERE ALL THERE 

EVEN A WOMAN WITH RED HAIR 

AND A MAN WHO LOOKS PAINFULLY FAMILIAR 

ok so hear me out 

i think harry enjoyed looking at pictures of james and lily

but you didnt

you didnt want to see everything that was taken from you

so you weren’t super aware of what your dad actually looked like seeing as you avoided pictures of him and your mom like the plague 

but you just knew 

and james was standing there

beaming

and he just looked so proud of you and harry 

so did lily 

she was the first one to say something 

“Your father and I are so proud of the both of you”

and you just broke down 

james right there with you 

he watched as you sobbed, choking on your cries 

and he couldn’t do anything about it 

he couldn’t hold you or comfort you

he couldn’t be a dad 

and it broke him

as much as it could break a dead man 

“you’ve grown so beautiful, darling” he'd smile sadly

his voice seemed to bring back all of your memories once lost 

“have you always been here, with us?”

“always.”

“typical, your father shows up and everyone forgets about uncle padfoot”

both you and harry laugh at that 

but the mood was somber 

harry then speaks up

“does it hurt?”

it was the first time either of you had confirmed that you both knew what was going to happen 

“dying? not at all, quicker than falling asleep.”

“will you stay with me?”

“until the very end. 

james is the one who answers, looking teary eyes at his son

and you know you cant go any further 

harry has to do this alone 

its quite symbolic actually 

the one time you'd let go of the reigns 

removed the protective arms you had around your baby brother 

he’d die 

but you had to do it 

so everything goes as planned 

harry dies

comes back

we love a resurrecting king 

and the war ends 

when you got back home from the war 

let’s say you are still living at grimmauld place seeing as it was left to you 

the first thing you do is go through old photos with harry 

any and everything you can get your hands on 

you see your mother’s sparkling green eyes

the same eyes your brother had 

and your father’s unruly mop of curls 

the same wave pattern in your dark hair 

everything finally felt right 

tags:

@pogueslandia

@vsawyer1989​

@lifeofkaze

@siriusement

@erinruby003

@maybesandohnos

@onlyfreds

@fullofsourgrapes