#i really need to finish the raph turtle tot series...

[rottmnt-residuum]

Heyyo, lovin your comic, and this has probably been asked before, is there a place for your other artwork? I saw the Kofi site mention you've made other comics and I just gotta see them cause tbh your art style fuckin slaps. Like a blend of saturated soft cell shading and the way the line art slowly melds colors with the characters to balance the contrast out. *chefs kiss*

Thank you!!! And also thank you for reminding me about the ko-fi lol, i've been meaning to remove it from my fandom blogs but just kept forgetting

Anyway, if you want a comic that has a similar art style to this one, then my t-posting series would be it. That one is the precursor style to the one I use for residuum. For rise stuff... I have like two one-page comics on my fandom blog, but I'm slowly working on other stuff too

[thdorkmagnet]

Forgiveness in Three Phases

So this came out of nowhere not gonna lie. Was actually trying to finish a Turtle Tots story but then @somerandomdudelmao Cass Apocalypse series ended and I ended up using that as the fire under my feet to write this. This isn't a fanfic of that series or anything, just a result of me needing to emotionally work out my feelings through writing, so I felt like I should mention the impact it had on me and this story. Regardless, you should read Cass Apocalypse series anyways because it's amazing and everything I ever wanted in a comic and I can't recommend it highly enough! Seriously read it if you haven't! You won't regret it!

As for this story, it's a little bit of an experiment I wanted to try out. This takes place post- ROTTMNT movie and is basically Leo having a talk with each of his brothers about his sacrifice. It seemed like a typical idea for the fandom to explore so I wanted to try something a little different to make it feel a little more unique.

This story is told non-chronologically. It jumps between three different points in time, the talk with Donnie, the talk with Mikey, and the take with Raph. There are points where it intersects but mostly it jumps freely between. I did my best to make it easy to follow but let me know if anyone struggles.

Anyways that's really it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle belongs to Andy Suriano, Ant Ward, and Nickelodeon. All rights go to them.

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Yes,” Donnie replied instantly, leaning over the machine he was tinkering on, refusing to even look at Leo. 

“No,” Mikey said before his gaze shifted. “Maybe a little.”

Raph sighed, looking so tired and small. “It's more complicated than that, Leo.”

“What you did was stupid, self-sacrificial, and incredibly selfish!” Donnie's teeth were grit together, fingers welding small strips of metal together, causing sparks of light to bounce off his goggles. “What gave you the right to throw your life away like that?! What made you think any of us would be okay with that?!” 

“I'm more sad than mad, really,” Mikey confessed, stirring the broth he was making with shaky hands. His thoughts seemed to be a million miles away, detached from his current self. “I know it was a desperate situation and I know you were just trying to protect us but when that portal closed, I…” Mikey lost his voice, eyes flooding with tears. His gaze finally focused in on his brother. “Why did you have to leave us, Leo?”

“I mean I am mad. I'm furious, Leo! At you, at the Krang, at the whole awful situation we ended up in, all of it!” Raph growled, low and steady, the punching bag he had been mercilessly wailing on a moment before now a crumpled broken heap on the floor. His voice was barely a whisper as he finally added, “But more than that I'm mad at myself.”

“No!” Donnie shouted, cutting off any attempt for Leo to explain himself, slamming a fist so hard on his desk it made the walls rattle. He fully turned to face his brother, goggles still hiding his eyes. “No, I don't want to hear any of your excuses! I don't care that you're the leader! I don't care that you thought there was no other way! I don't care that it was the literal end of the world! I don't care! Nothing you say is ever going to justify me almost losing my twin!” 

“It hurt us! It hurt us all so, so much!” Mikey shouted through his tears, dinner forgotten as he crumpled to his knees. “Raph and Donnie were just so broken. And sad. A-And I just couldn't… I can't-” Mikey threw himself at Leo, clinging to him with all he was worth. He held tight, sobbing and shaking and screaming incoherently as days and weeks of pent-up frustration and sadness bubbled freely to the surface. He held onto Leo so he couldn’t go away again.

Raph looked away, guilt washing over his face like a wave over sand. “I shoulda stopped you. I shoulda done somethin’.” Raph's shoulders slumped, like there was an unseen, oppressive weight pushing him down, threatening to crush him. “I'm the oldest, I'm supposed to keep you guys safe! Not you! It shoulda been me that got sent to the Prison Dimension. Instead, I let you make an impossible decision and it nearly killed you.” 

Donnie finally tugged up his goggles, eyes glassy with falling tears, something small and vulnerable now filling the space between the two brothers. “I thought you died, Leo. For a minute I… I thought you were gone. I mourned you.” There was no anger in his tone anymore. He just sounded sad and broken and so, so tired. He turned back to his invention, whispering. “You made me mourn you, Nardo.”

It took a while before Mikey’s wails sounded like words again. “I can't lose you, Leo! I can't, I can't, I can't! I-I was s-so scared! And the magic hurt so bad! I just wanted to bring you home! Even if it brought Krang back! Even if it killed me! I needed you back!”

Raph plopped on the floor, the weight finally too much for him to stand. Leo sat down too, failing to find the words to say. “I'm sorry, Leo. For not being there for you. And I don't just mean with the Krang, even before that. I thought you just weren't taking anything seriously and showing off like always. I didn't realize how hard it all was for you. I shoulda understood.” He finally met his brother's eye with a tenderness that hadn't been there in so long. “Instead I kept fighting with you and pushing you and pressuring you, instead of just being there and supporting you the way I shoulda been. And maybe if I hadn't said all of that…” Raph let out a deep, soul-crushing sigh. “You wouldn't of sacrificed yourself the way you did.”

Leo crashed into Donnie’s back, burying his head into his torn shell, arms encircling his twin protectively. 

He squeezed Mikey back, letting his own tears fall.

He reached out a hand, placing it over Raph’s own, finally meeting his big brother's eye.

“I'm sorry.”

“Your right, there is no excuse,” Leo admitted, words muffled as he buried himself a little further into the soft leather. “I never should’ve left you like that. I shouldn’t have hurt you or made you… think I was dead.” He choked back a sob, holding his twin just a little tighter. “I didn’t want to make that decision, I wanted to stay with you and Raph and Mikey and eat pizza and watch Jupitor Jim and argue about who’s the best at video games.” He couldn’t hold the sobs back anymore, crying into his twin’s shell, feeling the floodgates of his heart open, drowning him alive. But Donnie was here and there was safety in his presence, so he could keep on breathing. “I didn’t want to die and leave you alone.”

“I’m so sorry, Mikey,” Leo said gently, hands rubbing circles into his baby brother’s shell. “I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I scared you. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry.” He kept mumbling soothing words, listening as Mikey’s breathing started to even out and the tears turned into small sniffles and chirps. Still, Leo didn’t release his brother, he just held him close, pouring all the love, comfort, and affection he had to give into their embrace. He felt Mikey return it back tenfold, soaking through his shell and warming him from the inside out. “I’m here now. I’m here. And I’m never leaving you again. I promise. We’re safe Mikey. You’re safe. It’s all over. I’m home.” 

Leo nearly chuckled when Raph gave him a confused look. “What? Why are you so surprised? I thought that’s what you wanted to hear? I mean if anyone here has a lot to apologize for it’s me, not you.” His playful tone turned serious again, giving his big bro an apologetic smile. “Look, I know I haven’t been the easiest person to get along with lately, so I don't really blame you for any of what happened, before or after the end of the world. And you shouldn’t either. Not for a single thing.” 

Donnie suddenly swerved in his chair and pulled Leo tightly to his chest. Leo was so shocked he just sat there frozen for a moment. “I’m not mad at you because of what happened to me, Nardo. I’m mad because of what happened to you. Because you thought your life was worth less than ours and you let yourself get hurt because of it. You nearly died because of it. And because you care so little about yourself, I thought it would help you avoid repeating obvious mistakes to see our perspective as well.” Donnie let out a small breath, resting his chin on Leo’s head, hands gently brushing over his shell. “Though perhaps I went about it the wrong way. Emotions aren’t my strong suit.” 

Leo let out a wet chuckle, pulling away so he could wipe away the stray tears. “Same here. And sorry again… for everything.”

After what felt like a lifetime, Mikey spoke, voice choked and raw but still surprisingly strong. “Okay, I-I think I feel a bit better now.” He broke the hug, staring up at his big brother with misty eyes. “I needed that, I think.”

“We both did,” Leo agreed, kissing him on the top of the head.

Raph didn’t seem convinced, looking down at their hands instead of his brother. “I still shoulda stopped you from going into the Prison Dimension. You got so hurt.”

“Hey, that was my choice to make,” Leo said firmly, giving his brother an intense stare until he met his eye again. “And I don’t regret it. Just like how I know you don’t regret-” The words almost didn’t come and he had to swallow hard to get them out. “-jumping in front of me to save my life. It’s what leaders do.” He squeezed Raph’s hand as tightly as he could. “It’s what brothers do.” 

“Yes, well, just don’t forget we care about you, dummy. Or we’ll be having this conversation again.” There was affection in Donnie’s tone, carefully reaching up to adjust Leo’s mask. However, the smile vanished a second later, hand gripping the mask tails and pulling hard. “And if you ever pull a stupid stunt like that again, I'll have both your legs surgically removed!” 

“And you mean it,” Mikey asked in a soft, anxious tone. “You won’t do that again. Promise?” 

Raph let out a long, pained breath, the tension seeming to leave his body a little, the creases in his brow fading. “Yeah, I guess it is. Just… promise me next time you won’t do it alone. Brothers help each other, too, y’know.” 

Leo nodded, smiling. “I promise.”

Donnie nodded back, accepting the answer, turning back to his invention but allowing Leo to linger.

Mikey beamed brightly, moving back to the stove to try and salvage the burnt broth.

Raph gave his brother a toothy grin, opening his arms up for a hug. Leo melted into it. 

“Soooo, do you forgive me?” 

Donnie hummed in thought. “While I am still notably mad at you, I suppose I can accept your apology. You are lucky you are insufferably endearing.” 

“Yeah I do,” Mikey said with such honesty and conviction it made Leo tear up again. 

“Of course I do, Leo,” Raph rumbled, holding his brother close to his chest. He nuzzled the top of his head. “I already did.” 

Leo hesitated, fearful of what he had to say next. 

“Do you still love me?”

He held his breath, terror more powerful than the Krang or the Prison Dimension pounding against his chest. 

Three brothers stared back and smiled. 

“Always.”

[tmngoose]

Nice Words: a Turtle Tots Drabble

Based on my headcanon. I’m sure there’s some errors, but w/e. It’s almost 3am :A!  1,632 word count. G-Rated. Tags include: sibling squabbles, sad feelings, happy endings, and hurt/comfort? Read it under the cut! (Once I get my Ao3 up and running it’s all over for y’all) :U

It was late in the afternoon when Splinter had finished making himself a cup of tea. As he placed Ol' Skelly back onto the stovetop, his ears pricked towards the kitchen's entrance, where he could distinctly hear the pitter-patter of feet tottering down the hallway, followed by a series of sharp whispers.  "Boys," Splinter addressed, "Didn't I tell you four that you could only have your snacks after you tidied up your bedrooms?" It wouldn't have been the first time his turtle-children attempted to sneak into the snack cabinet and reward themselves for a job half-done.  "U-Um, actually, it's just us three," Mikey answered meekly.   Splinter raised a brow, "Three?" He turned around and spotted Raph, Leo, and Mikey huddled together in the doorway, their expressions mixed. "Where's Purple?"  Raph pushed Leo forward, earning a scowl from his younger brother, "Leo and Donnie were fighting again, and then Donnie ran off somewhere!"  "Tattle-tale," Leo grumbled, folding his arms with a huff. Splinter sighed, "Blue? I thought we talked about using our nice words towards each other?" He knelt before Leo, who fidgeted under his father's attention.  "But I did!" Leo's passionate claim wavered. He guiltily stared down at his feet, "Well, I mean, I did at first. But he started it!" The slider's fire returned, only quelled by Splinter, who pressed a finger up to his mouth. "That's not important," Splinter said, "What's important now is finding your brother and setting things right."  "But, we looked everywhere for him!" Mikey whimpered, tears threatening to spill from his watery eyes.  Raph began counting off on his fingers, "We searched the bathroom, all of our bedrooms and the living room! I even looked inside your chair!"   "I still think he could've flushed himself down the toilet," Leo mumbled to himself, earning another look of disapproval from Splinter.  "Then, it sounds like you three have a lot of backtracking to do!" Splinter patted Mikey's shell and took a moment to dry the box turtle's tears with his sleeve. "But worry not, my sons, for I will help you."                                                                -x- What Splinter had promised was a half-truth. While his boys double-checked their bedrooms, Splinter took his cup of tea into the living room. He could keep an eye out for Donnie while also keeping an eye on his favorite TV show.      Splinter shook his head upon discovering the state of disarray the living room was left in from Raph, Leo, and Mikey’s frantic search for Donnie. He decided he'd make the boys sort out the rest of the living room after supper. Splinter fixed the cushions of his armchair, made himself comfortable, sipped his tea, and then twirled the remote control between his fingers. Splinter's thumb hovered over the power button. Just before he could click it, there came a strange sound from close-by. Sniffle...  It was a soft, sad sound that made Splinter's ears twitch. He listened carefully and heard nothing. He shrugged, pointed the remote at the projector screen, and- Sniff... sniffle...  - there it was again! If Splinter was right, the noise was coming from beneath him? He slid out of his seat and checked underneath the armchair.  "Purple?" Splinter blinked. "What are you doing under there?" Donnie turned away from Splinter, burrowing further into his hoodie until he eventually disappeared into his shell. He sniffled again, and Splinter frowned.  "Surely, you can't be comfy down there?" Splinter held out his hand. "Why not come out and join me? We can watch Scorpion Treadmill together!" Splinter only needed to wait a few more seconds before he felt Donnie's hand lightly take ahold of his own. Splinter's fingers curled around the tiny hand and carefully helped Donnie out from under the recliner.  Splinter kept his word. He plopped back down in his seat and placed Donnie on his lap, who was still tucked inside his shell. Splinter turned on the TV and sipped his tea once more, setting the cup and saucer down on Donnie's back.  By the time the first commercial break came on, Donnie finally spoke up from within his shell, "Leo said he wished Laceface was his brother instead of me."  Splinter looked down at Donnie and lowered the volume on the TV, "Laceface? Oh! You mean the football you boys are always breaking things with? Now, why would Blue say something like that?"   "Because he's a big meanie," Donnie murmured sourly. "Now, Purple. What did we say about using our nice words towards each other?"  "Well, he is!" Donnie's head popped out of his shell, his eyes puffy from crying. "Me 'n Mikey were playing Jupiter Jim when Leo and Raph crashed our game with their stupid Sports Ball game!"  "Uh-huh," Splinter nodded, sipping his tea.  "And then Leo's trick pass caused Raph to break our moon buggy!"   "You don't say?"   "So I told Leo he owed us a new moon buggy, but he said it wasn't his fault our moon buggy broke so easily cuz it's cardboard! So then I said to him that it was his fault because it was his dum-dum trick pass that caused Raph to break our moon buggy in the first place! And then Leo said his trick pass wasn't dumb, and that I was the dumb one!"  Donnie went on. Splinter could see where all this was going. Indeed, it was a messy situation, though thankfully, he knew of a way to fix it. When Donnie finished recounting his side of the story, the young turtle was just as hurt when he had first hid under Splinter's armchair. Donnie lifted his glasses out of the way so he could wipe his eyes and swallowed the sob caught in his throat.   "Who am I kidding?" Donnie's shoulders sagged with defeat. "They'd probably care more about Laceface than me." Splinter began rubbing Donnie's back, hoping to calm him down, "You know that's not true. Your brothers care very much about you, including Blue!"  "Nuh-uh," Donnie shook his head in disbelief.  "Yuh-huh," Splinter answered, "Why, surely you must've heard them tearing this room apart while they were looking for you?"  "Well, yeah..." "Did you know they're still looking for you?" Splinter continued, "Why, they've been so worried about you!" "R-Really?"  "Really," Splinter petted the top of Donnie's head.  "Even Leo?" "Only one way to find out," Splinter cleared his throat, "BOYS!"  Splinter's bellow echoed off the walls of the lair. Donnie could hear his siblings clumsily stumble over each other as they piled into the living room, though none of them dared to approach Splinter's armchair, and with good reason too: they still hadn't found Donnie.  "Yeah, Pops?" Raph asked hesitantly. "Have you boys found Purple yet?" Splinter winked down at Donnie and signaled for him to stay quiet. Donnie, unsure of what Splinter was scheming, obediently covered his mouth with both of his hands.   "Um, n-no, not yet," Mikey spoke up with a sad tremor in his throat.   "Oh, that's too bad," Splinter lamented, "I suppose I will have to find you a new brother, huh? Maybe that football you boys love so much?" He mused aloud.  "What?!" Raph gasped, "Replace Donnie?!"  "With Laceface?!" Leo sounded just as upset as Raph and Mikey, which surprised Donnie. "You can't do that!" Leo protested.  "Why not?" Splinter questioned. "Didn't you say you'd rather have Laceface as your brother anyway?"   "W-Well, yeah, but... b-but...," Leo grew quiet, and then burst out crying; the weight of his guilt finally crashing down on him. "I don't want a football for a brother!! I d-didn't mean it when I said that!  I want Donnie for a brother-," Leo's hiccuping stopped abruptly, "-wait a sec, how did you know I said that to Donnie?" "Because he told me," Splinter replied cheekily and held Donnie out over the side of his armchair for his brothers to see.   "Donnie!!" Leo, Raph, and Mikey ran towards the soft-shell and tackled him out of Splinter's hands. They smothered Donnie in a great big heap on the floor; one could barely spot the soft-shell within the mess of arms as his brothers nuzzled him.  At first, Donnie was uncomfortable. The hug was suffocating and almost unbearable until he noticed how happy and relieved his brothers were to have found him: including Leo.   "I'm sorry, Donnie," apologized Leo, "I never meant any of it, honest!"  "And I'm sorry too," Donnie gritted out, "B-but maybe you guys could st-stop squeezing me? M-My oxygen levels..." He squeaked helplessly. Splinter smiled, satisfied with their touching reunion, "I hope you all learned a valuable lesson today."   "We sure did!" Raph beamed, "Donnie's the best at hide-and-seek!"  "What? No!" Splinter shook his head, "Well, maybe, but that's not it! Sometimes, when we're angry, we say things to each other that we do not mean. That is why it is super-duper important to always use our nice words towards each other!"   To the four turtle tots, their father spoke words of wisdom. Their eyes glistened in awe and respect.  "Now then!" Splinter's tender fatherly disposition suddenly turned agitated and firm, "Why were you boys playing Jupiter Jim and Sports Ball in the first place?! Didn't I tell you to clean your rooms before my shows started?!"  The turtle brothers yelped and scrambled out of the living room before Splinter could punish any of them.  "Quick, Donnie!" Raph cried out, "Tell us your secret ways of hide-and-seek!" He held Donnie high above his head, leading the gang to his bedroom. "Yeah!" Leo agreed, "Dad can't punish us if he can't find us!"  The turtle tots giggled and shrieked as they carried on their mischief elsewhere within the lair. Splinter shook his head. He reached for his tea and found that the last few sips had gone cold. Though that hardly mattered, for the laughter of his children warmed him all the same.