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#i really miss them i won't tell a lie
reiverreturns · 2 years
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proof i am still writing my silly viking longfic and thinking about those silly viking besties in love for the ac beloved mutuals
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jealousofthetea · 2 years
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About to send an email with the line: “I think it's a bit unreasonable to ask nonbinary people to complete a doctorate just so they can fill in your form accurately.”
Will this mild humour endear them to me or annoy them, who knows
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Second Chance ~Logan Howlett Imagine~
Summary: Logan meets you. A variant of his dead wife.
Author’s Note: I won't lie, Hugh Jackman was hotter in the early 2000s.
Part Two
Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE, mentions of character deaths, mentions of sexual innuendos
Do not repost this anywhere!
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A new start for Logan was just what he needed. And thanks to the TVA, Laura was able to join him in the universe Wade was originally from. So this was a new start for the two of them. And to celebrate their success in saving the universe, Wade decided to have a pizza dinner party with all his friends so Logan and Laura can get to know them.
"We are missing one more person," Wade noticed as he looked around.
"Y/n will be coming soon. She had to deal with something first," Yukio tells him.
"Thank you, Yukio," Wade smiled at her.
"Y/n?" Logan asked Wade.
"Oh you are going to love her. Everyone does," Wade tells him. "You too Mary Puppins."
Ten minutes later, you finally showed up.
"As an apology for coming late, I made my famous brownies!" You announced as you handed the plate with the chocolate goods to Negasonic Teenage Warhead.
Logan looked over to see that the stranger who walked in felt like a walking corpse to him. His smile drained from his face as he stared at you who was greeting the people you knew.
"Y/n! I want you to meet our new friends! Logan and Laura," Wade said. It felt like a cheesy rom com slow motion turn to Logan. But he was still enchanted by your beauty.
"It's nice to meet you both," you smiled at them.
"It's nice to meet you too," Laura said as she shook your hand.
"Please excuse me," Logan said as he walked out. Your smile fell a little as you watched the man walk out. You looked back at Wade who had a confused look as well.
"I will be right back. But here. Meet Mary Puppins," Wade said as he handed the dog over to you.
Wade rushed out of the apartment to find Logan outside.
"Hey! What was that? You just ran out on one of the best people I have ever met. She is tied with Peter and Yukio," Wade tells him.
"I didn't realize you had a version of her here," Logan tells him.
"What are you talking about?" Wade asked him.
"Y/n. She was my wife in my universe," Logan explains to him.
"No shit. You were married?" Wade asked him in shock.
"She was also killed because of me."
"This one is different."
"And how's that?" Logan asked him.
"She's a really big badass here," Wade tells him.
"She was in my universe too. But I still let her and everyone down."
"This one could be different."
"I don't know."
"Why don't you come back upstairs and have pizza and get to know her?" Wade offered.
"I think I'm gonna stay out here for a bit," Logan tells him.
"Alright."
Wade headed back upstairs, leaving Logan all alone. Not fifteen minutes later, you came outside with a plate of pizza and a brownie piece and a beer.
"You are missing the pizza and my brownies which Wade was mostly eating all of them," you tell Logan as you handed the food and drink to him.
"Thanks."
"Are you okay? Did I do something?" You asked him.
"No. It's just... you look like someone and it's bringing back some memories for me," Logan tells you.
"Oh. Do you want to talk about it? If it makes you feel better, Wade has told me weirder things and more depressing things," you tell him. Logan let out a small chuckle.
"Maybe not now. I'm sorry for running out while you were introducing yourself."
"That's okay. Let's reintroduce ourselves. I'm Y/n. It's nice to meet you," you smiled at him.
"It's nice to meet you too. I'm Logan."
"Hi Logan. So, did you have to suffer with Wade alone for a couple of days too?" You asked him. Logan laughed a little.
"Yeah. I did."
"I can tell. You have a tired look on you," you laughed a little. Logan smiled softly, hearing your laugh. It was no different from his universe's you.
"You know, the party is upstairs and we are missing it," you tell him.
"That's true. Let's go," Logan said as he followed you back upstairs.
During the party, you sat next to Vanessa as you both were catching up. Logan kept looking at you whenever he could as he talked to Laura.
"You like her," Laura tells Logan loud enough for only him to hear.
"Come on kid," Logan groaned a little.
"She's pretty. And Wade talked to her about letting me stay with her and the other X-Men," Laura tells him.
"Really?"
"Yeah. Apparently she's a good teacher both education wise and powers wise," Laura tells him.
"She always was," Logan said, looking back at you. Your eyes met Logan's, making you smile at him.
"Oh he's cute. You should totally get with him when you can," Vanessa encouraged.
"You think I should?" You asked her.
"Yes! Plus he's handsome," Vanessa nudged.
"And his abs are amazing," Wade mentioned to you. You looked at Vanessa who also had the same look of interested with you.
At the end, you grabbed your bag and jacket before saying goodbye to Blind Al and Wade.
"You ready to check out the school?" You asked Laura.
"Yeah."
"Can I actually ask you something before you leave, Y/n?" Logan asked you.
"Sure. What's up?" You asked as you walked over to him.
"Would you like to go on a date with me sometime?" Logan asked you. You felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled happily.
"Yeah. I'd like that. Here's my number," you tell him as you wrote it down really quickly for him.
"Call me."
"I will."
"Alright. I'll see you soon hopefully," you tell him.
"See you soon."
"Bye, Logan," Laura waved at him before following you out.
"So, are you two just going to adopt Laura and start a family?" Wade asked him.
"Leave it."
"Just letting you know, she likes it rough in bed."
"You and her had sex?"
"Nope. But I did overhear her and Vanessa talk about what they liked in the bed one time," Wade tells him. "And trust me. She may look sweet and innocent, but she is a bit of a masochist."
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werecreature-addicted · 4 months
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Ok, imagine this, werewolf is in love with his neighbor, a human girl, everything would be fine if it weren't for the fact that the girl is a single mother of a little boy, and I'm not saying this because it's a bad thing for a woman to be a single mother, I'm saying this because of their neighbors, the other human neighbors have the mistaken idea that werewolves are cruel to other men's children, even propagating the absurd idea that werewolves kill the children of other males when they are interested in the mother. Of course our werewolf would never do that, werewolves would never harm a woman's offspring, so he has to be very careful and almost transparent to be able to woo the girl without her thinking that he is a danger to her or his little son
he meets your child first. he's just trying to carry in groceries, all of them in one trip of course, when he hears a small "can I help?" he looks down and sees a human pup with big wide eyes and a missing front tooth. He'd known that knew people had moved in next door a little while ago but he didn't know they came with a kid.
"Sure," he says and hands the kid one bag to carry as they trek up the driveway. it's a short walk and he can easily do it himself, but the werewolf thinks the boy is cute, so young yet already helpful and determined to prove his strength. what a good pack leader he would be one day. the kid drops the bag by his door and then runs back to his yard to play. The werewolf had never paid much attention to his next-door neighbors but he would start now.
He meets you a few days later and wow. he's never met a human so pretty. you seem nervous, a little frazzled from the recent move, but sweet. he tells you about your son helping him with the groceries and offers to help you any time you need anything, just looking for an excuse to see you again.
And you do need his help a lot around the house. it's hard trying to do everything yourself especially when you're raising a little boy. Luckily your neighbor is always there whether it's to replace some shingles on your roof or just play with your son for a little so you can get five minutes to yourself. you won't lie, you do pick specific favors to ask of him. sure you could do your own yard work, but there's just something so sexy about a sweaty hard-working werewolf.
He's so sweet he almost instantly becomes a part of your life. You can tell he's interested in you, you're not an idiot, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't like him too. It's flattering to have someone clearly so into you even knowing you have a child.
You spend of late nights confiding in him and before you know it you start to think you're falling for him. then you happen to mention your blooming romance to one of your coworkers and they inform you, horrified, that if a werewolf is interested in a woman with a child they're known to kill the child so the mother can focus on raising the werewolf pups. The story chills you, you'd heard similar things about lions in the wild, and maybe it was true for all preditors.
you can't help but spiral a little bit, you've been leaving your baby alone with a hungry wolf. but... somehow you don't believe it. He had never shown himself to be violent or even anything but loving towards your son. and you knew he was closer to human than some wild animal. he wouldn't really do something like that, would he?
When you get home you're a little jumpy around your neighbor, which he notices. you don't let your son go over to his yard to play and you don't invite him over for dinner, which is odd, to say the least. but he doesn't push. You feel stupid, avoiding him like this, why should you be scared of someone who'd been nothing but kind?
you go out onto your porch that night and see him out looking up at the stars. when he hears you he waves you over.
"it's a pretty night," you comment sitting beside him, awkwardly.
"prettier with you here," he teases, you feel your face go hot and you have to look away, he laughs at your embarrassment. you're quiet for a long time before you finally bring up what was on your mind.
you don't come out and say "Hey are you going to murder my child to get closer to me?" but instead you ask him:
"you flirt with me a lot, but does it ever bother you that I have a child? does that make you hesitate to have a real relationship?" it's still blunt but it's not quite as accusatory.
"I've always wanted kids, I love your son, I'm not going to run because of it, I want you and you having a son doesn't change that," he assures you. A few months later you'll admit exactly what your coworker said, he was horrified you ever thought he'd be capable of hurting the boy he views as his son, and he tells you in no uncertain terms that he would die to protect the both of you. no harm is coming to either of you while he's here to protect his family.
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 2 months
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older brother touya au, endeavor is still an asshole, shouto interacts w his siblings lol, bby shouto, hyper active kinda rough reader (you tackle shouto), shouto and touya have an unspecified age gap but i was thinkin like 10 years (so touya is 17 and shou is 7), just a liiiil bit angsty but mostly fluffy, lemme know if i missed sum else !
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touya knows his little brother shouto is kinda weird.
he rarely ever sees him happy, or with any sort of emotion on his face for that matter. he has little habits that he hates not being able to follow and he's incredibly nit picky about them. he doesn't outwardly emote but that doesn't mean he couldn't be bratty when he wanted to be, cus he is but that's also about super specific weird stuff like what he wants to have for dinner (which always ends up being cold soba anyways).
he's also not much of a talker. he's a little shy, but he also just doesn't like talking. it's impossible to miss the huge red scar around his eye, he doesn't like to play outside and roughhouse like touya did when he was his age and he still doesn't have any friends at school. shouto never seemed to be bothered by it, though touya assumes that his peers might find him weird too.
except they better not, because touya's the only one who can call his brother weird. and deep down, he worries a little for him.
until he comes back home from school, his sweater is tucked out and there's a dirt stain on it. his hair is messy and his backpack is haphazardly closed, his little notebooks propped inside and his pencil case threatening to fall out.
natsuo, the one charged to pick him up that day, sheepishly scratches at his neck "he won't tell me what happened to him." he explains as touya practically charges towards shouto, he doesn't look hurt, so his older brother roughly turns him around to check his bag.
" but i told you what happened, natsu-nii."
"you don't have to lie, shouto--"
"what happened to you ?" touya cuts in, looking inside his brothers bag to check if nothing was missing, it looks intact from what he can tell.
"i played with my friend." shouto says simply, like that explains why he looked like he'd just walked through a hurricane. touya already knows he's gonna get an earful about this from his father. he inwardly groans.
"you sure your friend didn't just mug you ?" he flips his brother around and shouto's little arms flail as he does, unbothered by his brother's rough treatment. he tilts his head, touya sighs.
"bully you, i mean."
shouto's eyes widen, then he hurriedly shakes his head, denying him ever getting bullied and simply claiming he was playing. touya shares a look with natsuo, who looks just as unconvinced as him at his brothers words.
"who's this friend of yours, shou ?"
"yn."
"yn ?" both brothers say at the same time. shouto nods and touya catches a small little glint in his eyes as he looks back at him "she's really nice."
"this doesn't seem nice. you look like you got robbed." touya furrows his brows, sneering at his brothers dirty shirt. he starts dragging the youngest toward the bathroom. hopefully he'd be fully clean before their father got home and he wouldn't have to get in trouble. for god knows what reason. enji todoroki would probably find a way to place the blame on him, something about how he should've been the one to pick him up or gotten there earlier he guesses.
"yn likes to play games where you move around a lot." is what he offers as explanation. touya hums absentmindedly as he ushers his brother into the bathroom, deciding on how he should deal with his youngest brother's first ever bully. because of the age gap he doubts the kid is any smaller than his brother is, so he thinks he'll probably just try to scare off whoever this yn is.
"how 'bout i pick you up from school tomorrow and i can meet yn. that sound good ?" and shouto excitedly nods at the idea, gushing about how funny and nice you are and that you share your snacks with him. it's weird how fondly he talks about his bully, but touya knows his brother's always been a little weird, he probably has no idea what's happening to him. the thought makes him frown just a bit harder.
the next day after school, touya is already at the gates before they've even opened ready to scare the pants off of his brothers harasser. he sees shouto walking out of the gates with a few other kids, alone. the little boy perks up once he sees him and sends him a high wave, which touya returns with one of his own lazier one's.
"where's your friend ?" he tries his best not the spit the word too venomously, shouto doesn't seem to notice.
"yn is coming. her bag isn't closing well, so she told me to go ahead without her." he explains, reaching for his brother's hand absentmindedly.
touya is about to respond when he hears yelling. yelling that gets closer and closer to them until he notices too late that a little person is rushing towards his brother. before he can pull him out of the way the person has jumped onto shouto and knocked the both of them onto the ground. and touya watches flabbergasted as his younger brother does not look surprised at all, like shit like this just happened every tuesday. his mouth falls open when the little girl that had charged into his brother excitedly starts hopping slightly on top of him.
"shouto !"
"hi, yn."
touya is going to fucking lose his mind.
you get closer to shouto's face still sitting on him, touya assumes to make sure he could hear you even thought he doubts he couldn't before. " i thought ya left without me, i couldn't see you !"
shouto shakes his head, still on the floor "i said i would wait for you." he says seriously. and you practically beam, nudging your cheek to his and rubbing it against his affectionately. shouto doesn't seem fazed by it, but he definitely doesn't seem angry.
you don't seem like a bully, at least.
you finally realise you're not alone, looking up at touya strangely "who're you ?" you ask bluntly. shouto responds before he could. "touya- nii's my older brother, he's the one i wanted to show you."
you don't seem like a bully, especially not when you immediately turn to shouto the moment he opens his mouth, holding onto every word you hear. your eyes widen looking between touya and him, "that's your brother ?!" shouto nods proudly. you finally get off of him allowing shouto to get up too.
"coool !" you exclaim, but then you quickly turn towards shouto " but you're cooler, shouto !" shouto's eyes widen, before he almost bashfully looks away, claiming that his touya-nii is was way cooler than him. touya has never seen his brother this expressive before. it might not be much for others, and if he were anybody else he'd think so too. but even the fact his brows raise when you speak and he actually engages in conversation with you, as short as he keeps it, is surprising.
but from that small interaction, he can assume that you're not a bully. and he understands why his brother looked like he got jumped yesterday.
you're so much more different then him though, it's weird. you're hyper and giggly and chatty. you jump around and you can't seem to pull yourself away from shouto, who really doesn't seem unhappy although you're a bit rough about it. it’s like you’re glued to him.
shouto who barely even talks to his family talks to easily with you, even though you start the conversation all the time. shouto who only ever eats cold soba gleams at your promise to bring more snacks to share with him, like you apparently do every day. and shouto who touya barely ever sees emote, smiles when you tell him something funny. he can't tell wether his little brother smiles because he actually finds what you said funny or because you do. but whatever it is, it's making him happy.
touya is so shocked simply staring at his brother interact with another human being that he fails to use the little 'leave my brother alone if you know what's good for you.' speech he'd practiced the night before and suddenly you have to go. waving at him and shouto (not before hugging him with all your might first), who sadly waves back as he watches you leave. though he cheers up just a bit when with a last wave you tell him that you'll see him tomorrow.
touya, despite not having said a word feels incredibly tired, so he starts pulling his brother along home with him.
"so..that was your friend."
shouto nods "yn." he says.
"yn." touya parrots, eyes drifting from his brother to the road ahead of him. "she's kinda weird, huh ?"
at that, shouto's eyebrows furrow hard and he furiously shakes his head, tugging at his brother’s hand "no. she's nice." he corrects adamantly. touya stares at his brother, before looking away again "right.." he sighs "well, she seems to like you a lot."
his little brother nods again, a faint smile forms on his face "cus the people in class are mean to her. cus she's new and they say she's weird, but i don't think she is." he rambles, he actually rambles, touya blinks. he doesn't think he's ever been more surprised than he's been today. "yeah ?" is all he utters.
"yeah. people think i'm weird too, but yn says she thinks i'm cool." touya's eyes soften at his brothers words. he raises his arm up so his little brother is slightly lifted in the air. "course you're cool, you're my little brother." smiling softly to himself when shouto giggles.
touya knows that his little brother is weird, but he doesn't have to be worried anymore. cus it seems you like him, that you think he's cool and that you're weird too, in your own way. shouto keeps coming back home with dirty clothes and messy hair after that, but with happy and satisfied eyes and little candies he shares with his siblings that he made them promise to keep a secret. and he thinks his little brother will be fine, as weird as he is.
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hyuuukais · 3 months
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heyllo :3
can i request reader x chan? reader is overwhelmed but keeps it in because that’s what they see chan doing a lot of the time. but eventually it builds to a breaking point where the stress causes them to completely shut down. chan doesn’t know exactly what’s wrong so it might be cute if he just sits on the floor in front of reader and plays clips from a song he’s working on and asks for their opinion (by basically talking out loud to himself) and then after reader calms down they are able to verbalize they just need a human weighted blanket and to be told they are doing amazing and their efforts are not going unnoticed.
im fine. 🥲
just hold me, tell me you love me
pairing : chan x reader
notes : me vs the long title. anyway thank uuu for being my first request! i hope this lives up to ur expectations and can provide u some comfort 🫶 sending u hugs and love 🫂💙 sorry it's taken a bit long to get back to! kind of was getting this feeling myself and have been unable to write, but i think i'm getting back
warnings : reader is overwhelmed, mentions of anxiety, fear of opening up to someone, reader is called pet names (love, baby), reader breaks down
wc : 1.4k
All week there's been a growing pressure in your chest threatening to spill all over the floor and leave you a mess, lying on the ground with nothing else to give. Give, you've given all you can, and now that you're home, you can't do it anymore. You seek peace in the quiet of your shared bedroom, your boyfriend still at work in his studio.
Your boyfriend, who works hard day and night. Your boyfriend, who's loving and caring and sweet. Your boyfriend, who you're scared to open up to when things get really hard, because he doesn't share with you either. Although the relationship isn't fresh, going on a year and a half, there are still things you don't talk about. You don't want to burden him with your struggles when you've always been able to power through by yourself.
Fisting the sheets under you, you can feel the need to cry in your body, the hollow feeling in your chest and the tightness in your throat, but nothing comes. It's like your body knows you're too tired for even that simple of an action, for even one tear to slip. So instead, you sit the the blanket over you, face peeking out to stare at the wall with tired eyes. You can't sleep. If you close your eyes, you know you won't drift off and wake up feeling better, you'll just lie there for hours.
"Baby?"
Something spikes in you when you hear Chans voice ring out through the apartment, curling into yourself more. He shouldn't be home this early and yet, here he is, calling your name and wondering where you are; you're never in bed this early. Chan continues to call out for you until you hear the bedroom door opening quietly.
"Love?" Chans footsteps get closer, and you can feel the edge of the bed dip with his weight as he sits down. "My love..."
His hand brushes over your shoulder, but you can't face him. When you bring the blanket over your head more, he seems to get the hint, shifting to lean against the headboard next to the statue that is your body, unmoving and heavy. You can feel him fiddling beside you, and soon, a soft melody fills your ears. It's enough to distract you temporarily from the raging storm in your head, focusing on the beats, and when Chans voice comes through, it's like you can feel a sense of comfort washing over you. Although it's not enough to completely take these feelings away, you're grateful for what he's doing.
"This song has been giving me trouble," Chan comments over the music, sighing heavily. "I can't figure out if I like the chorus or not, and it feels like it's missing something in general, but I don't know what. What do you think, baby?"
Unable to answer verbally, but still wanting him to know you're listening, you roll around so you're facing him. He chuckles as you bury your face under his thigh when you see he's sitting cross-legged, the pressure on your face oddly comforting. Chan places a hand on your back, his arm resting behind your head as he rubs small circles over your thick layer of blanket. Another song starts playing after a while, another soft one, too. You relax under his touch, feeling the vibrations through his body as he hums along to this one and makes occasional comments about changes he'd like to make.
Exhaustion hits you like a ton of bricks, your eyes fluttering shut as he keep playing different songs and telling you all about them. Both of you are aware that he shouldn't be playing so much unreleased music, but all Chan cares about in this moment is you, helping you, calming you, loving you. The company will never know anyway.
"Chan," You whisper, voice barely audible. His humming stops and he pauses the music, looking down at your limp form with furrowed brows. Moving your head slightly, you're able to look up at him on an angle, the cool air of the bedroom breaching your blanket cocoon.
"What is it, baby?" Chan moves some hair from your face, leaving this palm to rest on your cheek.
"Can you just-" You clear your throat, one hand coming up to play with the hem of his shorts at his knee to calm you more. "Just hold me, tell me you love me?"
Without words, he shifts down to your level and nods. Carefully, Chan guides you to face away from him and brings you close to his body, your back pressed tightly against his chest. His chin rests on your shoulder, now enveloped inside your blanket as he holds onto you tightly, scared that if he let's go, you'll fade away. The thought of you being in so much pain, whether physical or emotional, is something he can't bear; he can't sit on the sidelines and watch you wither away. Neither of you speak as you lie there for what feels like hours, although it must only be a few minutes. The feeling of Chan's breath on your neck is oddly comforting, your own hands finding his arm around your waist and holding onto him.
Something about the way Chan is holding you, comforting you without the pressure of being asked what's wrong, has you finally breaking down. It starts small, holding back a few tears, but a few escaping despite your efforts. Then Chan shifts closer, pressing soft lips on the skin behind your ear.
"I love you, you know that? So, so much," He whispers, inhaling the scent of your shampoo as he buries his face into your hair. "You're doing amazing, baby, and I mean that. I thought... I thought something might have been wrong, but I didn't know how to go about this. I'm sorry it got to this point, I should have asked. I want you to know you can always turn to me, okay?"
His words have the dam breaking and soon enough, the sobs ripping from your chest have you gasping and hiccupping like there's no tomorrow. You don't register the way Chan tries to soothe you as he pulls you around and into his chest. Subconsciously, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and roll his body onto yours, his head sitting in the crook of your neck. The weight feels nice, grounding, and you can finally hear Chan speaking again.
"Shhh, it's okay, you're okay." Chan whispers into the skin of your neck, one of his hands smoothing back your hair. "You're okay, I'm here, now breathe, alright? Breathe, baby."
He inhales deeply, and you do your best to mimic his movements. It's shaky, but you're doing it.
"Good job, you're doing great," Chan keeps his voice low as he speaks. "Keep breathing."
It gets to the point where you don't need to think about breathing anymore, your head throbbing slightly from the sudden outburst of emotion. Chan's body stays on yours, but he props himself up enough to look at you, his palm on your cheek and his thumb wiping away any remaining tears. You can barely look him in the eye.
All he does is stare at you with those pretty, dark eyes, but you realize there's a dampness under them matching yours. You open your mouth to question it, but he shakes his head, a soft smile on his face.
"I don't want you to be in pain alone ever again." His thumb continues to caress your cheek, even though the tears have dried. "I love you too much to let you go through that. Whatever's going on, tell me when you're ready, yeah? For now, just let me gush about my beautiful partner until they're feeling better."
You can't help the small laugh that escapes you as Chan surges up to pepper your face in kisses, saying praises in between each one. With every kiss, you can feel your face heating up until you try and cover it, but he just grabs your wrists and pulls your hands away. Eventually, he slows down, pressing one last kiss directly on your lips, and settles back onto you.
"Let's stay like this for a while," Chan suggests, knowing you need it, but so does he. "My favourite place is in your arms."
-
─── taglist : @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @staysinbloom
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spidybaby · 7 months
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Not the romantic type
Summary: You tried to give him as many chances as you could. But when he keeps choosing other people over you, you are done.
Warnings: asshole!Pedri, cursing, manipulation, gaslight, suggestive moments.
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Part two
Since the beginning of your relationship, you noticed that Pedri wasn't the romantic type of boyfriend.
When it comes to planning things or saying things to you, he was very basic.
You remember your first anniversary, he invited you to dinner at his house and you watched a movie.
You appreciate everything. He was very caring. He loved you. He was just not the type to throw out his feelings at you or show them every time.
But you can't lie, that did bother you sometimes.
The memory of you telling him excited about a goal becoming a reality to you, you expected more than just a kiss and a congratulations.
Maybe not a party, maybe nothing crazy, just a little more.
Comparison wasn't also a good thing. The pictures of your friends with their boyfriends on trips, cute picnics, date nights.
You wanted that.
"Hey, I was thinking that now that you have the next two days. We can plan something romantic, maybe?"
He lifts his eyes from his phone. Your shiny eyes are the first thing he sees. Then back to the phone again.
"Olvidé decirte, my parents are coming, and I planned this restaurant thing with Fer and them."
He planned.
"Oh, you did?" You ask. "What about if we go to the movies, it's early and there's this movie I've been dying to see."
"I mean if you want that, let me get my keys and we can go." He says, getting up from the couch and walking to you. "Te quiero"
You smile, you love him very much. Kissing his lips quickly and picking your things while he walked upstairs.
You run quickly to the bathroom, not wanting to miss the movie. While you're there, you check your hair and makeup.
"Preciosa, le dije a Fer, irá con nosotros." He yells while walking downstairs. You force a smile.
"I heard Henry Cavill was on the cast, I'm in." Fer jokes, opening the door for you. "And maybe that Dualipa was also in the cast."
You smile at him, not feeling like joking back. When you sat in the back and didn't even play any music, Fer notice that something was wrong.
"You okay?" Fer asked, the two of you are waiting for Pedri. You nod, not wanting to say anything.
When Pedri was out of his car, you offered your hand to him. He high five you, letting your hand go. You squint your eyes.
"I was thinking." You say as you see the movie display. "I want to see Anyone but you." You smile.
"What about Aquaman? I like aquaman," He says, also looking at the display. "And maybe Fer won't like that movie you want to see."
"Well, I already see Aquaman. And I've been wanting to see this movie for about three weeks now."
He turns to where Fer is. He was buying the popcorn and soda. "He won't like that, amor."
"It's Sydney Sweeney. He will be too busy looking at her boobs instead of the movie itself."
You were tired. This was supposed to be a couple's thing and not a bring your brother with you kind of thing.
"Let's do this. What if you see the movie and Fer and I see Aquaman." He offers.
You want to smack him with your purse. Did he really think this was a good idea?
"Why can Fer see the movie alone, and you see this one with me?" You lower your tone, trying to show him your discomfort.
The thinking was getting to you. Why did he have to think between watching a movie with you or without you?
"Bebé, you know I've been waiting for you to have time to come with me to this movie."
"I just don't want Fernando to see a movie alone."
"Oh, but I have to?"
He sighs. Not wanting to start a fight. "No. Let's watch Anyone but you." He kisses your hand and walks to the front to buy the tickets.
You can even say that you're happy. You don't want to fight or beg for him to do something with you.
You were in the middle of Fer and him. The conversation between them was easy. You feel like it's been a while since you had such an easy conversation with him.
The sour aftertaste of the small argument made you uncomfortable.
"I'm going to get an ICEE drink. I'll be back." You say, getting up, feeling like you can finally breathe.
You don't like feeling this way. You don't like the guilt that builds inside of you every time you feel jealous about him planning something for everyone else but you.
You waited for your drink, checking instagram to distract yourself. The first picture you see is your friend and her boyfriend cooking together.
You don't feel well about it.
You don't want to be the second option.
You want to be the person he plans outings with.
You want him to be as interested in your life as you're in his.
You understand, he's a footballer, he doesn't have time to do all these dates, and plans.
But he does.
He has time for Ferran and Gavi, and he has time for his teammates' parties and celebrations.
He just didn't have time for you.
"Just in time, the movie is about to start." Pedri lift the arm thing on the seat and pass his arm around your shoulders. "My love." He kisses your cheeks.
You can't help the sadness inside. With so little you're so ready to forgive the things that make you feel bad.
"Love you." You kiss his lips.
You love the way he smiles into the kiss. It makes you feel dreamy.
The movie was awesome. in the end, even Fer was happy about it and loved the unwritten song.
"But I definitely think she was the hottest of them all." Fer says, you are walking back to the car.
"That's why she's the star of the movie." You laugh at him.
Pedri was quiet. That was his new mood.
You turn your face to him. His eyes are glued to the pavement. "Pepi, did you like the movie?" You ask. He just nods, not even a single word answer. "Okay."
The drive was silent but not an uncomfortable one. Fer was playing his music, something nice.
Pedri drops Fer at their house, telling him that he was driving you home and then coming back.
You stayed at the back, you feel like joking with him. "So, Mister driver, where to now?"
He laughs, you love his laugh. "I was thinking maybe I can take you for a walk." He extended his arm to the back. "Does the beach sounds good?"
You nod excited, your hands caressing his own while he drives you to the beach.
The moon and the stars were shining so much, leaving a nice and peaceful glow on the sand.
"Oye, I mentioned that I was inviting my parents to this thing and I was wondering if you want to come." He says, pulling away from your hug.
You smile at the proposal. You wanted to spend more time with him, and his family being there was a plus since you're close to them.
You nod, hugging him back again. Your face on his neck, the smell of his perfume making you drunk in love.
"Can you wear that beautiful blue dress?" His hands are now on your ass, pulling you closer. "I love it when you wear that dress."
"The one that ended on the floor after you won LaLiga?" You mess with him, kissing his neck.
The feeling of his beard against your lips, the way his throat vibrates with every moan and sound he makes when you kiss his sensitive areas.
"Preciosa, we're at the beach." He says, pulling away from your kisses. "But we're inside your car." You say, kissing his nose. He smirks, making you sit properly on top of him.
In a quick motion, he reached the door and slammed it shut, making sure to lock the doors.
"Come here." His lips meet your lips in a very hungry kiss.
The way your tongues dance together is making the burning sensation of your body even harder to control.
His hands undo the buttons of your shirt while your lips are kissing his neck. With every kiss, you lick the place. Marking him without actually marking him.
He pulls your shirt to your elbows and kisses from your right shoulder to your neck. He can't have a visible love mark, but you do.
So he takes the time to suck onto that specific place on your neck, your hands gripping on his hair softly.
You began moving your hips slowly in circles, his groaning making you smile, knowing you're doing a good job.
"We need to stop. We're at the beach." He breathlessly says, hands on your waist, guiding the movement. His head is thrown back into the seat.
You want to feel him all the way. You crave him, but you know that if someone recognizes the car and finds you two doing that, it was going to be a big thing.
You fall on his chest. He opens his arms to you, hugging your body and caressing your back. His lips on your hair, trying to calm himself in the process. Once you're calmer, you move to your seat, legs still on his lap.
"Te prometo que voy a compensate por esto, te quiero." He says, kissing your lips and turning the car. (I promise I'm making up to you, I love you.)
The drive to your home was silent. The calm music from the radio was low but enough to make the vibe more relaxing.
One of his hands was managing the wheel, and the other one was squishing your thighs. You can't keep your eyes away from his face, he notice this, blushing a little.
When you're outside your house, you stay inside the car for a little "We're leaving at five, but mom probably wants to steal you from me a little, so what if you get ready at my place?"
You kiss his cheek, undoing your seatbelt. "Si, can you pick me up?" You wait for his answer, getting a kiss from him and a small nod.
"Te quiero." He says, kissing you again.
"You do?" You tease him. He follows you lead, nodding his head. "Won't you show me how much? I mean, you don't have to wake up early tomorrow."
He laughs, turning the car off and undoing his seatbelt. "I have to pick my parents but we can do that together." He grabs your face and places a kiss on your cheek.
🍃🍃🍃
"Dale, guacha, suelta," you sing the famous quevedo Bzrp session while you both cook something.
"Suelta," Pedri sings, doing the background voice.
"Vente pa' Canaria' sin el equipaje y sin viaje de vuelta por la isla te vo'a dar una vuelta."
"Bebé, solo avisa-" His singing got interrupted by his phone ringing and making the music stop. "Hola?"
You lower the speaker volume, knowing that as soon as he hits hang, the song will blast. "Try this." You whisper, spoon feeding him with a little mix of your food.
He gives you the thumbs up, stealing a little more with his finger. "Hey, stop." You laugh, slapping this hand away.
"No, que va, muchas felicidades y suerte en el partido de este viernes." (Nah, no problem, congratulations and good luck on this Friday's match) he laughs. You focus on the food in front of you but can't help to wonder who he's on the phone with. "Vale, adiós."
"Listo." You turn the stove off and turn to him, opening your arms for him to join you in a hug. "Bring some plates, ojitos lindos." You kiss his nose.
He does as he's told, helping you with serving the food and trying to make it look cute. "I was speaking with Aitana." He says, leaving the plate in front of you.
"The player?" You wonder, even tho you were sure it was her cause there's not many girls out there called aitana that your boyfriend knows, and that has a match to play.
"Yes, she won an award, and I forgot to congratulate her for her Ballon d'or, so I sent her some flowers."
"Oh."
You're not jealous. It's very sweet of him to support the feminine team as much as his teammates. It's just that he has those sweet gifts and congratulations for everyone except for you.
"Si, she was so happy."
You nod, smiling. You can't help the feeling of sadness washing you over. Has he ever given you flowers? No, he hasn't.
"Also, Adrian graduation is this weekend. My aunt is throwing him a party, and you, beautiful lady, are coming with me."
"That means you and I are matching colors for the party?" You ask, joking. He never liked the matching couple thing.
"Amor, that's so tacky." He shakes his head no. "Plus, you always wear vibrant colors, and I'm more of a black and white kind of dude lately. "
You just smile, knowing that he always says the same thing. "I can wear something black so you can match me with a black shirt."
"But you look amazing with vibrant colors, like that blue dress, or you beautiful orange top that you wore on my birthday."
It was no surprise to you that he always found excuses for you, even when you tried to accommodate to him.
"Okay, I just thought it would be cute."
"You would be cuter with something that is your style." He taps your nose, changing the topic quickly. "Do you want to see the last chapter of prison break with me?"
"Are you on the last? We were like half the show a few days ago."
"I've been free lately."
You agree, in the end, you were only watching the show for him, so the last chapter meant that you were done with the show.
While he enjoys his show, you search for a nice outfit, you wanted something simple but not that simple to look too lazy.
You find something cute on Zara, planning to go to the mall on your way home. After all the party was in three days and you always prepared at the last minute so a quick change of plans was nice.
"Amor, I think I'm leaving, I still have to study for this test." You move from your position on the couch, now being on top of him. "Te quiero, our food was yummy and the show was good."
"I thought you were staying." He pouts. Arms around you. "Stay"
"Pedri, I've been here since yesterday."
"One more night." He beg, kissing your temple. "Just one."
"If I say yes, I'm not studying for my test."
"I'll help you study. We can go pick your notes." His kisses go from your temple to your cheek. "Por favor."
You fight the urge to say yes. Knowing that you actually have a test coming up and you really need to pick up your books and study for it.
"I'll see you tomorrow after practice." You remove yourself from his arms. Turning to kiss him goodbye. "Come home to me after practice, and I'll make you some healthy salmon."
He smiles, kisses your hands, and gets up to go with you to your car. "Drive safe and please text me when you're home, okay?" He kisses your lips one last time and close your car door.
You wave him goodbye and turn the radio, passing to the Dunkin Donuts drive thru for your favorite drink. You wanted to keep looking for an outfit.
Pedro's family are simple people. They prefer company than material things, something you loved. You wanted to be pretty for Pedro and also look good but not like the center of attention.
You search different stores for the outfit, finding something you consider perfect to wear, it was simple but pretty.
You also find a shirt for Pedri, something black and plain but with a simple quote. Very him.
When you're home you text him, sending him a picture of your books in your desk. Telling him that you will be off line and to call you if he needs anything.
He replied with a picture of him and Fer playing something, asking you to not stress out and to take breaks here and there.
The rest of the week you chose to stay low-key with the communication. Your test went extra well on Friday. You were happy and excited about the weekend because you needed the distraction.
You woke up and started yo get ready, taking a well-deserved full shower, taking your time. You wanted to feel extra clean cause it was a hot day.
When you're out you turn on a movie while getting ready, deciding to do something with your hair instead of letting it down.
When you're almost done with everything, you decide to do something very light with makeup. You don't want to feel gross if you sweat.
Your makeup session is interrupted by your phone, Pedri's name can be read on the screen.
"Hola amor." You say, keep applying some powder to your face. "Are you almost here?"
"About that, I wanted to tell you something."
"Yes, tell me"
"I was thinking, since you're busy with your exams and working on the project. I don't want to be a distraction, and I invite Ferran to the party."
You pause what you're doing to stare at your phone screen. Was he for real?
"Wait, what?" You snorted, thinking maybe he's joking. "C'mon, be serious. Don't play like that."
"Amor, I'm not." He says, serious tone. "I just don't want to bother your study session."
You let the brush fall, placing your hands to your face to try to calm yourself down. "Pedro." You say, voice tired. "What are you even on?"
He just stays quiet. He's not even considering that maybe he could have asked you before taking that decision.
"He pasado toda la mañana arreglandome, para que tú ahora vengas a decirme que tú piensas que es mejor que no vaya, dejándome saber cinco putos minutos antes de la hora en la que me pensabas recoger." You say, low and angry voice. (I've been all morning getting ready, for you to tell me that you thought it would help me to not go, letting me know five fucking minutes before you're supposed to picked me up.)
"I didn't think you would mind it that much."
"Pedro!"
"Okay, I mean, I can ask Adrian if you can come, I don't think he'd say no."
"You told everybody but me that I wasn't coming?" You can't even feel any more anger, just disappointment. "Pedro, that's so not okay for you to do to me."
"Can you not exaggerate?" He asks frustrated, he obviously doesn't care as much as you do. "It's not like you don't have to study. If something, I'm helping you here."
You hang up the call, not feeling like talking to him anymore. You can feel the tears in your eyes.
You don't want to cry but here you are, tears rolling down your cheeks. He didn't care about your opinion, he doesn't care about all the time you spend getting ready or anything you ever do.
You hear your phone ringing again, his name on the screen. Declining his call. You take your makeup remover wipes, cleaning your face.
You undo your hair and change into your pajamas. Not feeling like doing anything you throw yourself in bed.
After fifteen minutes you hear your front door getting opened, you lift your head from your pillow.
Your door is next, and a frowny Pedri walks into your room. "Get up, we're leaving." He's mad, you can tell.
Why was he mad when you're the one who got left out?
"I'm not going anywhere with you, Ferran and you can have a nice day. Go." You turn your back to him, throwing the blanket over your head.
"Y/n, I don't have time to play. Plus, you're not even ready. Stop the drama." He takes the blanket off your body in a movement.
"I was ready, but then you called me and told me that you prefer to take Ferran cause I was busy, so keep thinking that and go."
"Why are you acting this way? Are you on your period or something?"
You scuff, mad at his stupid sexist joke. "Why are you." You point at him. "Acting this way? Can't you see that I'm hurt by what you did?"
He rolls his eyes, you feel hurt by his action. He definitely doesn't care. "You don't even care." You cry. "Pedro, It took me a lot of time to get ready, I went out and bought a nice outfit and did all of this to look good for you and you treat me like I'm your booty call or worse."
"Is it about the money?" He asks exasperated, he pull out his wallet, throwing a few hundreds on the bed. "There, so you can be done with whatever this is."
You're speechless, not sure if you're dreaming or if he actually just did that.
"This isn't about money. This is about you not caring about me or how I'm feeling." You throw a pillow at him. "Get out, have a lot of fun and forget we even had this conversation."
You get up from bed, pushing him to the side and hiding in the bathroom. You cry as soon as the front door slams shut.
You thought that he would come to his senses later on the day, but when the night came and there was no text or calls from him, you were more mad than before.
The next day, he did call, and he texted you. But you were mad, you don't like how he treats you like you're nothing.
A few days pass by like that, you don't answer any of his calls, focusing on your studies like he wanted you to.
"So you're still not in speaking terms?" Your friend asks. "He hasn't even reach?"
"He tried." You sigh, he did try to reach to you, but you didn't answer any calls. "I'm just not ready to forgive him."
Your friend understood that you didn't want to talk too much about it, changing topics to something different she told you about her recent trip.
You spend all evening with her, dropping her home you went back to your house. You were in a blue mood.
The last fight left you with a sour aftertaste, it took him days to realize that he fucked up.
When the anger pass you understood that you weren't going to give in as easy as before.
You notice the black Porsche parked in front of your house. You opened the garage door and parked the car.
The doorbell rings, making you sigh. Were you giving him the benefit of the doubt?
"Hey." You whisper. Opening the door to find him. "Do you need something?" You block the entrance with your arm.
"Can we talk, please?"
"About? You ask , prentending to be confused. You wanted him to admit that he did wrong, you wanted him to see that you weren't going to allowed him to be like that again.
"Amor, can I come in?" He take a step closer.
"Oh, I'm your "amor" now?" You scoff, rolling your eyes at him. "I thought that I was just Y/n."
"Please." He begged. You can tell he hasn't had the best week, those bags under his eyes. "I don't want you to be mad at me."
"Why would I be mad?" You pretend confusion again. "I was just dramatic and probably on my period, remember?"
He brings one hand to his face. He's embarrassed by his actions. He wasn't like that to anyone, shouldn't be with you.
"I bought this for you." He hands you the bag of your favorite food place. You hesitate to take it, not wanting he to see this as a peace acceptance. "It's your favorite."
You take it, putting the bag away in the little table inside your house and next to your door. "Thank you." You whisper. "If that's all, you can leave."
You were about to close the door. Not wanting to deal with his lack of words. But his foot doesn't allow it.
"Amor, please, I just want to apologize. Let me."
You sigh, opening the door and moving for him to walk inside. "Five minutes, I'm counting." You say checking your watch.
"I'm fucking sorry, the way I talked to you was fucking wrong, and you're right, I shouldn't just do something without you knowing or deciding first." He tries to get closer, you lift a hand for him to stop. "Amor, I'm fucking sorry, I was an asshole. You're not a booty call. You're my girlfriend, and I didn't give you the respect you deserve."
"Why did you do that?" You ask, wanting for him to explain himself. "You treated me like my time and opinion didn't matter, that hurted."
He feels his heart breaking at the sight of your sad eyes, he fucked up real bad. "Mi amor, perdón." He walks over to you, wrapping his arms around you. "I do care about your opinion and your feelings. Your time is as valuable as mine. I'm sorry I was a fucking asshole."
"I just don't get why would you do that to me." You whisper, head buried in the crock of his neck. "You treat me like I'm not important."
"You're very important to me." He tightened his hug. Kissing your shoulder.
You hate to give in so easily, you hate to feel like you will take anything to keep your relationship.
But he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't be the one forgiving you if that was the case. He wouldn't be the one opening your door. And you know it.
"Let me make it up to you. Let's watch your favorite movies and I can go get your favorite drink to make it up." You nod, closing the door with your feet and walking hand in hand to your room.
🍃🍃🍃
"Now add some salt, but try it to see if a little is enough of if you need more." Rosy says, passing you the salt and helping you with the mixing of the food.
Rosy was teaching you how to do some typical Tenerife food. You once tried it and you loved it.
You enjoy cooking with her and with Fer, both taught you a lot, making you a better cook.
"Well I kinda eat with a lot of salt, so will you help me with trying it." You grab a spoon, taking a bit of the food and passing it to her to try it.
She nods, giving you a thumbs up and turning the stove down. "Perfect" she smiles.
You help wash the dishes and put away the rest of the ingredients. You were having a fun day with his family while he was in Napoli.
Your family was in Madrid spending the last days of a festival. You were invited to go but wanted to stay in Barcelona due to study.
"Fer, you have a new competition." Rosy says, proud of you for learning so quickly. "because this, mijo." she points at her plate of food. "it's amazing, and she was only following instructions."
Fer compliment your food, telling you that you did an amazing job, he was on his second serving.
"I'm impressed that you didn't want to go with Pedri to Napoli, I think some of the girlfriends of the players are going." Rosy confess.
You notice how Fer started coughing, and changing the topic. You had this twisted feeling in your stomach.
You want to say you weren't invited, but you don't want to bring Rosy into that. Maybe she heard the wrong thing and Pedro couldn't invite you.
"Fer, you'll be the one washing the dishes. Don't think I don't remember that." Rosy says, leaving Fer and you alone.
He knows his mom fucked up by saying the wrong thing, but he can't actually blame her.
"Are you taking the rest home?" He's feeling awkward. "I can put it away for you." You shake your head no.
"I actually have to go back home, I've been here bothering you two since early today." You don't even feel comfortable anymore.
Were you overthinking?
"You don't bother us, we love you."
Was he being honest? Or just saying that to fix things?
You smile, not wanting to engage in the conversation, but he did notice that, he can sense the change in you.
"Do you need help or should I get going?" You collect your things, putting everything on your bag.
"No, don't worry. Be careful on your way home."
Waving him goodbye and asking him to say goodbye to his mom for you was all you did.
You knew some of the players invited their partners, like Sara, Mikky, and Katrine; but you thought that maybe they were the ones who planned the trip.
You chose to play potato and stayed in bed the rest of the day, watching some romcoms and texting your family on your group chat.
Fer texted him, informing him about what his mom said to you. He immediately pick his phone to call you.
You were interrupted by the FaceTime call. "Hola, guapa." He smiles, his beard was making him look more mature. "Were you busy?"
"Noup, just watching TV."
You were serious, putting the phone in your nightstand so you could keep watching your movie.
He told you about everything he did, you only hummed in response to what he's saying. He was nervous, he noticed the way you're not even interested in hearing about his day. "What are you watching?"
"Just go with it." You sigh, wanting to hang up and not have to pretend you're not kinda mad. "It's almost done."
He nods, even when your eyes are not on him. "Sara says hi."
You scuff, he definitely had a nerve. "If you see her again, tell her I say hi." You grab your phone, ready to say goodbye. "Si sabes que no tienes que fingir que no me estas llamando por lo que dijo tu madre?" (You know you don't have to pretend that you're not calling me because of what your mother said?) You left out a bitter laugh.
He knew you were not the most direct person, that's why he never expected you to be this direct about the topic. "Guapa, listen."
"You don't have to invite me, just don't tell other people you did and that I said no. That made it awkward for me and for your brother even."
"Can you not do this?" He sighs mad. "I forgot and when mom asked me about it I just lied."
"I'm not doing anything, I'm just saying that it was awkward for me, that's all." You were calm, much calmer than he thought.
"I just want to talk. Can we pass this?"
This was a pattern. He promised to change, pretend for a while, and then go back to his old self.
"I don't feel like talking to you right now."
"Joder, this is why I don't say shit. You just want to always be the center of attention, such a bother."
You stop breathing. That was so unnecessary of him to say. Specially when he was the one who fucked things up.
"If I am a bother, then why are you with me?" You can feel that pain in your heart, pain that has been with you since this attitude started.
"Sometimes I ask myself that."
"Pedro." You whisper, hurt by his words.
Just hung up the call, block him and don't go back. But it was easier to think than to actually do it.
"You want full attention and I can't, I'm not a nine to five kind of guy, I have a much harder job."
"Pedro." You try to interrupt him.
"And fuck, my friends are right, I'm missing a lot because I chose to lock myself down with a serious relationship, you don't even support me."
"I don't what?" You ask loud. "I support you more than your stupid brain actually acknowledges." It's your turn to be mad, leaving the feeling of pain being replaced by anger.
"Don't call me stupid."
"I know you're working very hard on growing your career, I've always accepted for you to give me the crumbs of your time, I'm the one making and effort to keep whatever this shitty relationship turned into."
"Oh, so we now have a shitty relationship?"
"You just called me a bother, Pedro." You remind him his own words. "At this point, I think it is better for both of us to admit that you can't give me what I need, and I'm not what you'll ever need."
"What exactly do you need?" He yells, you're not surprised by that. "I'm trying, I really am."
"No, you're not." You cut him off. "I don't want to keep this going on."
"No, amor, let's calm down. This is blowing out of proportion.- "
You let him talk. You let him pretend he didn't just tell you he questioned himself about you two. You let him excuse his friends about telling him how wrong is for him to he in a relationship.
"No."
"No, what?"
"No, Pedro. I don't want to be a bother to you anymore." You try not to cry. "I don't want to keep you away from fun with other girls like your friends say."
"Amor, that's not.-"
"I don't want to be your last option. I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore." You're breaking your own heart, but you need this more than you care to accept. "I'm letting you be free to have all the fun in the world, to have all the girls, to not have to overthink every night about how much of a bother you have in life."
"Y/n, please no."
"Good luck on your game tomorrow. You're going to be amazing. Te quiero." You cry, hanging up the phone, you quickly turn it off.
Taking your necklace with his initial on it and letting it rest next to you on your nightstand. You were finally done.
🍃🍃🍃
🏷: miss @gadriezmannsgirl ✨️
931 notes · View notes
ckret2 · 2 months
Text
Chapter 60 of human Bill Cipher almost wasn't the Mystery Shack's prisoner but he's back here for some reason:
Everything you never even imagined about how Bill survived his execution.
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(warning for cultists doing cultish activities in this chapter. and i don't mean "fantastical Blind Eye Society hijinks," i mean "discussing how to indoctrinate & isolate new recruits.)
####
"Hiya, Stan!" Bill Cipher beamed brilliantly. His gold tooth matched his new coat. "Didja miss me yet?"
Stan punched Bill in the nose.
Bill tumbled on his back, hand over his face. Voice tight with pain, he said, "Just so you know, I let you do that."
Stan's voice hit a pitch he hadn't been able to reach since puberty. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALIVE!"
Bill sat up gingerly. "Well, funny story—"
"NO! Nuh-uh, I'm finishing you properly this time!" Fists raised, Stan lunged at Bill.
Ford grabbed Stan from behind, one arm around his neck and one hooked up under his armpit. (Bill took the opportunity to scoot backward and get to his feet.) "Stanley! Stand down!"
"YOU!" Stan flung Ford's hands off and whirled around, pointing accusatorially at him. "You gave me your word! Tell me you didn't let Bill out."
"I didn't let Bill out."
Stan grabbed Ford's turtleneck. "Don't you lie to me!"
"I didn't let Bill out!" Ford ripped Stan's hands off his turtleneck. "He was already gone when I went into the kids' room."
"Then who— Who else would've known—"
Stan whirled around at a creak on the stairs. Dipper, halfway down the stairs, jumped when Stan saw him.
"DIPPER!" Stan stormed up to the stairs. "Did you help the demon escape?!"
"What, no!" Dipper took a step back up. "I don't even know how he got out! All I did was not say anything!"
"Well, who's left that could've helped him?!"
"BIIILL!" Mabel barreled down the stairs. "YOU CAME BACK!" She climbed on the stair railing, jumped off, and Bill—who'd crept inside behind Stan—was once more tackled to the ground.
Stan's hands twisted in the air like he wasn't sure whether he wanted to strangle someone, punch something, or pull out his own hair. He finally settled on curling them into fists and shaking them at God. "AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW THE DEMON'S ALIVE?!"
Soos, still sitting in the living room by himself, staring into space, voice hushed with horror, asked, "So who did I sweep into the flower vase..."
"Okay, family meeting!" Stan pointed at the living room, "Right now! You," he pointed at Bill, "upstairs! I don't wanna look at you and your—your stupid Las Vegas magician sequined coat!"
Bill sat up with a wince and grinned, "Oh, do you like it?" He took off his backpack and checked to see if its contents had been crushed when he was knocked down twice.
"You look like a circus clown!"
"I liked the Vegas magician thing better."
"GO!" Stan pointed up the stairs.
Bill raised his hands, rolling his eye as he started up the stairs. "Fine, fine—"
Stan grabbed Bill's wrist, making him drop his backpack. "STOP!"
"Make up your mind!"
Stan yanked one half of the enchanted friendship bracelets down over Bill's wrist. "You're not getting out again. Not on my watch."
Bill jerked his arm free, shot Stan a dirty look, and stomped up the stairs, umbrella clutched angrily in one hand and backpack in the other. Stan pulled the other half of the bracelet on.
In the living room, Ford, Dipper, and Mabel were lined up shamefacedly on the couch, like three students waiting to be lectured by the principal. Stan glowered at them each, fists on his hips. "Now, I wanna know why my own family all joined in some big secret conspiracy to help Cipher escape! Is it alien mind control?! Did you join a cult?!"
Mabel took a deep breath. "I saved him because he's my friend and I don't want him to die and he really is getting better and you'd all see it if you just gave him a chance to prove it and you just don't understand how he thinks like I do"—she took another breath—"and I promise he won't try to take over the world again just give him a chance!"
Stan's glare melted into something close to guilt. "You're... you're fine, pumpkin. I know you wouldn't have let your friend get hurt." He shot a glare at the other two conspirators. "Which is why we weren't going to tell her."
"Listen," Dipper said, "I still hate him and I don't trust him, but—but I heard part of a poem about Bill that I'm sure is a prophecy; which means he's important, we'll probably need him to save the town or something! So we can't let him die before then! He's already passed up chances to kill us and even saved Grunkle Ford and me, that proves he can restrain himself enough to be useful!" He winced, "Plus... I didn't wanna make Mabel sad. I have seen a future where she loses a friend, and it is not pretty."
Mabel leaned against Dipper. "Thanks, bro-bro."
Stan screwed up his face, but just muttered angrily under his breath about stupid prophecies and stupid life saving, and turned his glare on Ford. "Well? What's your excuse?"
Ford didn't answer, staring down at his hands, grimacing as he searched for an answer.
Stan pressed, "You told me that if you couldn't pull the trigger, you'd give me the gun. Why didn't you?"
"Because I could have pulled it! The situation was different, I—I only changed my mind because he wasn't there. If he had been, I'd have done it—"
"Would you? If you couldn't even tell me that he wasn't dead, do you really think that if he'd been right there, looking you in the eyes, you'd have done it?"
In his mind's eye, Ford could see Bill, hiding under a towel, grinning up at him with one bright eye. And Bill, collapsed beside the lake, shaking all over, sobbing so hard he didn't even notice he was clinging to Ford's stupid borrowed t-shirt like a lifeline. And Bill, staring tiredly across a chess board, telling Ford that the black king was taking the whole board down with him. And Bill, lighting up the room as he taught Ford's niece about his own long-extinct alien civilization.
And Bill, glowing golden, lighting up Ford's dream as he taught him about fifth-dimensional calculus.
Ford didn't answer.
Stan asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Softly, Ford said, "Because I don't want him to die."
Stan spread his arms in disbelief. "Well, why the hell not?!"
"Because—I'm—beginning to think that there might be a chance that Bill could..." he winced, "change. Maybe."
Stan's silence was deafening. Mabel leaned forward to stare around Dipper at Ford.
Ford rubbed his forehead. "I—it made sense yesterday, but it sounds stupid out loud."
Stan slowly shook his head. "Have you all lost your minds? You think he can change? You think he's part of some prophecy?! Y—Mabel, honey, you're the sweetest girl in the world, but you could do way better for friends than him."
Mabel sorta shrugged, sorta shook her head, sorta grimaced, and sorta nodded. "Yeah, but, I like him."
"WHY?!" Stan roared, making Mabel and Dipper both jump. "Why, why are any of you wasting your time on him?! Guys like him don't change! He's a dangerous, self-centered crook, and that's all he'll ever be. He's a rotten, greedy, lazy loser, he's only gotten as far as he has by conning guys smarter than him, he's got no regard for anybody but himself, all he does is cheat and lie, and if you let him stay in our lives he'll just ruin them! The best thing he could do for our family is—" Stan choked on a lump in his throat. "Is d-die."
The room was silent. Dipper and Mabel, leaning back into the sofa to get away from the rant, stared at him with wide eyes. Soos, over in an armchair bearing silent witness to this family drama, had his hands steepled in front of his face.
Stan couldn't look at Ford. He didn't know why Ford looked so sorrowful. Thickly, Stan asked, "All I want is to get rid of him—why don't you?"
He could hear Soos wince. "Oof."
Stan pointed at him. "Not a word. Not one word," he growled. "Fine—if none of you will deal with him properly," he cracked his knuckles, "I will."
Mabel flinched. Dipper moved to stand, "Grunkle Stan—" but stopped when Ford put a hand on his shoulder.
Stan stomped up the stairs. He'd wring that monster's stupid neck, and if it started the apocalypse then so be it—
He stopped halfway up the stairs. Bill was sitting on the steps, just around the landing corner, leaning against the wall, backpack in his lap. His soaked pant legs were dripping rainwater on the steps. "You," Stan snarled. "What are you doing?"
"What's it look like, genius? I'm trying to eavesdrop," Bill said. "So what'd they say?"
"What? What did who say about what?"
"About leaving me alive. Why did they say they don't want me dead?"
He asked like he was genuinely curious. Like he didn't know.
Stan stared at Bill.
"I have a good idea for Shooting Star, but the other two...?" Bill made an uncertain gesture with his hand. "I've got my top guesses, but I want to know what clinched the deal."
Stan couldn't kill him, either.
He'd already lost this fight. Pathetic lonely dead con artist who'd rather lose a tooth than look scared, how could Stan take him out? He understood too well. "Just—shut your stupid mouth, take off that stupid circus outfit, and get out of my sight, Cipher."
Bill bristled. "Hey." He stood. "What's that for? It's not like I did anything wrong. Sure, I got your whole family in on a conspiracy, but that's their mistake! I was just doing what I had to! You can't blame me for—"
"I don't blame you," Stan said.
"You d— You don't." Cautiously, Bill asked, "You... don't?"
"How can I?" He shrugged heavily. "It was self-defense. Ford should've known better—but I can't blame you. I'm not an idiot, I don't expect you to just lay down and die for us."
"Oh." Bill squinted at Stan, like he thought this was a trick and he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Oh. Okay." After a pause, voice uncharacteristically small and confused, he asked, "So I'm... not in trouble?"
Stan's face did a gymnastics routine. "Heck," he muttered. "No! I guess not! I don't like it, but I'm not gonna punish a guy for saving his own miserable worthless hide! Just... stay out of my way, I don't wanna see your stupid face."
"I'm just minding my own business," Bill said. He sat again and leaned on the wall, arms crossed, staring into space thoughtfully. (He didn't know what to do with a reality where he'd done something everyone hated, but nobody blamed him for it.)
Stan trudged back downstairs. Everyone was where he'd left them. He glowered at his family. They quietly waited. "Well," Stan said. "We're stuck with him now. Since somebody wasted the only bit of fuel we had that could kill him. Is everyone happy."
Nobody seemed particularly happy. Ford shifted on his seat. "Kids... you should go to bed. Stan and I need to talk."
Dipper and Mabel quickly took the opportunity to slide off the sofa and escape the room.
"Oh! Oh you bet we need to talk! You have no idea how much we need to talk—"
"Downstairs," Ford said firmly.
"What, you don't want everyone else to hear exactly what I think of your crazy stunt?"
Ford lowered his voice. "Downstairs where he can't overhear. It's important."
Stan's face twitched with the effort of suppressing more shouting; but then he growled, "Fine! But this had better be worth it. Lemme get my bathrobe, your stupid underground office is like a freezer..." He trudged from the room, grumbling. "Hey, demon! Take off your bracelet, I'm done being tied to your sorry hide." After a moment, the thread reappeared on the stair steps as they both took their ends off.
Dipper glared at Bill as he and Mabel passed him going up the stairs. Bill gave him a tiny, cheery wave. Dipper grumbled, "I can't believe you finally escaped like you wanted just to come right back."
"Hey, it wasn't my idea! Blame your sister!"
Mabel hugged him again. "Thanks for coming back."
Bill said, "Thanks for absorbing Stan's wrath for me!" He laughed.
The kids ran upstairs.
And Bill placed the tip of his broken umbrella on the stair step and quietly walked back down, winding the enchanted bracelets' thread into loops as he went.
####
Soos looked at Ford and shyly raised a hand. "So... when you said the kids should go to bed, did that include..."
"Yes, Soos," Ford said. "You should go too."
"Yes." He quietly pumped a fist. "One of the kids." As he left, he said, "Hey, Bill. Sweet coat."
Ford looked over. Hovering in the shadows of the entryway, almost glowing gold from the living room's light, Bill peered into the room. He was by the coat rack, hanging the bracelets back up. Bill said, "Fancy meeting you here."
Ford sighed irritably. "I'm not in the mood to talk, Cipher."
"Don't flatter yourself, I'm not down here for you." Bill gestured at the sofa Ford was on. "I want my bed back."
Right. Ford stood so Bill could retrieve the cushions.
As he grabbed the first cushion, Bill smirked at Ford. "So..." (Not here for you. Sure.) "What was it that swayed you?"
Ford just glowered at Bill.
Bill pressed, "Was it that handy list of starter spells I gave you? I doubt it was my chess prowess, that wasn't my best playing." He laughed, "What am I asking for! You humans are suckers for a life debt. You can consider it paid off—a life for a life, fair and square—"
"It wasn't any of those."
Bill's smile disappeared. "Then what?" he asked. "Don't tell me you did it out of the goodness of your heart, I've seen enough of yours not to buy that—"
"It was Mabel."
Bill dropped his first cushion on top of the second and awkwardly tried to get his arms around both. "What'd she say about me?"
"Nothing." Nothing that had changed Ford's mind, anyway. "It's how you treat her."
"How I—?" Bill was so baffled that he almost looked offended. "What are you talking about? I haven't been treating her any way at all! I'm just... just goofing around with her. She's a fun kid."
"Exactly," Ford said. "If you can treat just one odd little girl with kindness, for no reason—then maybe, just maybe, there's hope for you." He sighed; he felt the sternness in his face slacken. He felt tired. "At least... I want to hope there is."
There was a flash of something Ford couldn't recognize in Bill's face. Something like pain; something nearly like guilt. It was gone almost as soon as he saw it.
"Well, sure," Bill said flatly, glancing away like Ford had lost his interest. "Why wouldn't I be nice to her? I like weird freaks." He managed to stand with his awkward armload and turned away, cutting the conversation off. "Anyway. It's been a long night. I'm going to bed. You should too," he shot back over his shoulder from the bottom of the stairs, "when's the last time you got decent sleep? Your eye bags are more... bag than... eye." Bill cringed at himself. "Don— Don't say anything. I'm tired." He headed up the stairs, his umbrella hooked over his left elbow. They'd have to get that umbrella back.
Tomorrow. Ford couldn't be bothered tonight. Bill wasn't killing anybody before morning.
Ford leaned on the doorframe where he could still see Bill. "I hid your hoodie in the box of spare bedding in the loft. Under the spare pillows."
Bill stopped halfway up the stairs and turned back toward Ford. "You didn't incinerate it?"
"No."
"Why?"
"I assumed you'd be back here eventually. I thought you'd want it."
Bill's face was unreadable.
He turned away from Ford and continued upstairs without saying a word.
Mabel's crayon drawing of Bill—"YOU CAN CHANGE. I BELIEVE IN YOU!"—felt like it was burning a hole in Ford's pocket.
####
Saturday, 7:52 a.m.
Bill stole a handful of loose change out of a tip jar and timed his exit so he walked out of the Triple Digit Truck Stop just as a man walked in and kindly held the door for him.
Gravity Falls really was a charming little town. Behind the times. The Triple Digit Truck Stop had expanded significantly in the past decades to add a convenience store and additional amenities for travelers, but the diner that made up the heart of it had barely changed. Same patchy grassy parking lot, same giant lumberjack sculpture watching over the cars... same public pay phones around the left side of the building.
He put in a few coins, punched in the number he'd memorized, and leaned against the wall while he waited to be answered. "Hey, Sue! Guess who?" A smile curled across his face. "That's right. Hey, how many people can say they've been personally called by god?" He laughed. "My Star Boy told you what preparations to make, right? Good. It's time. Midnight. Just north of the county line. I'll see you there."
Then he hung up the phone, left the clearing around the diner, and vanished into the trees.
Unless something dramatically changed, he'd be meeting his dear devotee that night.
####
9:30 p.m.
Something had dramatically changed.
His disloyal devotee had saved him.
It was a long walk to the county line. If Bill wanted to make his midnight meeting with his cultist, he had to leave before sunset.
He was still up on the cliff when the last of the light left the valley, pacing restlessly back and forth—first toward the side of the cliff overlooking the town (he could see the Mystery Shack's roof through the trees), then toward the side aimed away from the valley, toward the county line.
He should go. He needed to go. He needed to go now. He needed to go two hours ago.
He'd spent three out of the last four days hiking all over this town's forests and caves. In the last thirty-six hours he'd barely gotten a quick nap. (In the morning, when Mabel heard that Ford had covered for Bill, she'd come straight here.) He told himself he didn't have the energy for the hike to the county line. (What if Mabel got here and couldn't find him?)
If he didn't show up tonight, surely his cultist would try again tomorrow night. He'd go tomorrow.
It was fine. Everything would work out for him. Everything always worked out for him.
####
Sunday, 4:10 p.m.
He'd been right. Mabel had come straight here. As the platform lifted him back up, Bill watched her wheel her bike through the trees, slowly heading toward the main road back into town.
For a midsummer day, it was chilly in the rain.
Don't you wanna be in the shack with your only friend on Earth? Would you really rather spend the rest of summer in some dumb old busted alien ship?
Interesting question.
####
8:30 p.m.
It was a long walk to the county line. Bill packed his supplies—he didn't have that much to pack, he'd only ever needed enough food and shelter to last him a couple of days. He flung one backpack over each shoulder, closed and concealed the alien ship fragment, and shrunk his floating platform with the height-altering flashlight so he could wrap it in a shirt and stuff it in his second backpack.
And then, under the cover of the rain and the falling night, he began the hike north.
####
10:45 p.m.
Even to Bill's eyes, the weirdness barrier around Gravity Falls was typically invisible. He could only see it where something touched it or passed through it, making waves travel out in circles from the point of contact. The circles glowed a dull coppery color at their peaks. Tonight, with the rain falling, the barrier rippled as though the rain were falling on the surface of a lake, and the whole thing glowed a faint filmy orange.
Precisely in the middle of the barrier was a sign marking the border of Roadkill County.
Ten feet beyond the barrier, just off the edge of the road, headlights and engine off and lurking beneath the trees, was a black car.
Bill walked straight through the weirdness barrier as though it wasn't even there. He didn't feel a thing.
The car engine started and the headlights turned on. Bill didn't even blink. The driver's door flew open and Sue popped out, fumbling to open an umbrella as she did. "Bill Cipher?"
"Hiya, Sue! You made it early."
"Oh, thank goodness." She hurried up to him. "I was so worried—I didn't know if I'd come to the wrong place, or if something had happened... And when I didn't hear anything from you the next day, and Gideon didn't know anything..." (Great, she'd gotten Gideon involved?) She started to offer Bill her umbrella, realized he was already holding a closed umbrella as a cane, looked up as she registered that no rain was falling on him, then stared at him in wonder.
"Yeah, sorry about that—an unavoidable emergency came up, I couldn't get out and couldn't call." And he'd gotten a pretty good night's sleep. "But look at you, loyal enough to come try again the next night! You're a rare sort of human soul, you know that? This world could use more people like you."
Sue flushed with pleasure. "Oh... thank you, I..."
Bill tilted his head toward the car. "Let's not talk out in the rain, huh? Another car's coming by in about a minute, I think we shouldn't be seen."
"Right! Of course, my lord." She hurried back to the car.
"There's a terrific diner just a few minutes up the road. We can talk there, it's safe enough. Cute decor, too—have you ever seen a twenty foot tall lumberjack...?" He paused uncertainly by the car. "Hey, Sue? This'll sound silly—but I'm gonna need you to get the passenger door."
The car's interior lights flashed on as Sue opened the passenger door, long enough to catch the glittery purple nail polish on Bill's fingers. Sue gave it a curious look. Even though they'd just gotten painted three days ago, the polish was already scuffed again from his escape; but a few tiny flower stickers were still sticking to his nails.
Bill grinned. "There's a thirteen-year-old staying in the shack. Sweetest thing. She's a real artist."
"Oh! I see." A smile stretched across Sue's face. Bill suspected it wasn't for Mabel. That's right, your god's good with children. He lets little girls give him goofy manicures and proudly shows them off. Chicks dig that kind of thing.
When they were both buckled in, Sue hesitated, holding the steering wheel. "Lord Cipher... I wanted to say... if my... actions the last time we met were out of line in any way, I want to apologize—"
Bill placed a finger under her chin, turned her face toward him, and kissed her lightly. (He was so smooth. He mentally congratulated himself.) "Sorry if you got confused. I had to keep the outsider from getting suspicious, get it?"
She sucked in a small breath. "I... yes. Yes, of course."
"Don't trust anything I say or do when unbelievers are listening. The only time you can be sure I'm telling the truth..." his voice dropped to a near whisper, "is when we're alone."
He could see the goosebumps raise on her arms. "Yes, my lord."
He was so good—and his worshipers were so, so stupid. That was why they followed him. "Now, let's get to that diner, huh?"
As they got on the road, he studied his nails; to a normal human it was too dark to see, but to Bill's eyes they still glittered bright purple. The question Mabel had asked him earlier had been playing over and over in his mind all afternoon: Would you really rather spend the rest of summer in some dumb old busted alien ship?
Naive, trusting kid.
She really thought she was his best option.
######
"... And then, as if directly launching a psychic attack on my ethereal essence and forcing me into a mortal fleshly form wasn't bad enough," Bill said, "they imprisoned me! And get this: just to rub salt in the wound, they thought it would be funny to take a divine muse who's spent an eternity helping mortals build doorways between dimensions—and curse it so it can't open doors. I have to ask my kidnappers to open the fridge for me. Have you ever heard something so condescending?"
"Insane. That's just sadistic," Sue said. "After all you tried to do for them."
"You don't know what a comfort it is to hear a human say that."
They fell silent as someone approached. A waitress stopped next to their table. "Hey, I—Goldie!"
"Dani Miranda! Hey, how's it going! I see you found the treasure map I left you."
Dani was wearing two large gold earrings, two heavy gold necklaces each with a large gem-encrusted pendant, and four rings. "Yes, oh my gosh. I cannot believe you knew where a whole treasure chest was and you just gave it to me? That's the nicest thing ever?"
That's right, it was. "What are you doing working here! You can retire on that kind of money. Unless you want to rebury all that gold yourself?" He'd respect that.
"I'm still getting it appraised. Besides, I like talking to the late night travelers."
Bill ordered a strawberry banana shake, the monthly pancake special—which meant three quarters of the pile covered in stripes of strawberry sauce and cream cheese frosting and one quarter covered in a big puddle of blueberry sauce—floppy bacon, three eggs prepared "any way except scrambled," a cup of bleu cheese dressing, a cup of salsa, and a bottle of hot sauce. Sue ordered a water and a small grilled chicken salad.
(Bill tried to remember whether the Death Valley girls were one of his "purify the flesh by practicing harsh asceticism" cults or his "hedonistically revel in the pleasures of the senses" cults, in case he needed to make up a justification for why god was ordering pancakes instead of practicing what he preached—something something a human body containing a divine soul burns through much more energy, maybe—but no, he had the Death Valley girls on psychedelics, that was a hedonism cult. He kept them controlled through drugs, exhaustion, and poor air conditioning, not starvation. Small grilled chicken salad, indeed. The only thing stronger than cult brainwashing was diet industry brainwashing.)
When Dani was safely out of earshot, Sue lowered her voice and asked, "'Goldie'?"
"My captors decided to keep my identity secret so an angry mob won't execute me before they get the chance," Bill said. "The entire town's against the All-Seeing Eye named Bill; but only a handful know there's anything unusual about the handsome human in the Mystery Shack they've been calling Goldie."
She looked taken aback at the angry mob comment. "The entire town's against you?" Her gaze roved around the Triple Digit Truck Stop, taking in a lone trucker several tables away and a bored waiter scrolling on his phone behind the counter. "Is there anyone we can trust?"
"Gideon's on our side, of course—good kid—but, well... he isn't completely reliable. You know what happens with child celebrities. The fame and fortune spoils 'em a bit."
"I never would have guessed from his television appearances. He seems so... gracious."
Bill choked back a laugh. "He'll grow up all right—he's just going through a phase. But I'd rather not trust him with more involvement than necessary until he... matures a little."
"I understand." Sue sighed. "It's too bad the dawn of the new age didn't begin closer to us, where we could have assisted your work."
She didn't have the guts to question her god, but Bill heard the implicit question: why here? Why in some tiny tourist town that didn't even like tourists, buried in a forest in the middle of nowhere, amongst the ignorant ungrateful masses? "Yeah—too bad," Bill agreed with a shrug. "But hey, I didn't choose where the veil between worlds would be thinnest! There's energy in this town like nowhere else on your planet. It's the only place where a machine built with modern human technology is strong enough to punch through dimensions—and that's with the help of extraterrestrial equipment."
Besides, he didn't like Death Valley.
Dani returned from the kitchen. "One chicken salad, and one breakfast combo with the pancakes of the month."
"Great! I'm starving." Bill picked up the little plastic cup of salsa and dumped it into his shake. Sue choked on her water.
Dani's brows shot up. "Is—is that good?"
"What can I say, I've got the palate of an alien." (Sue choked on the sip she'd taken to recover from her first sip of water.) Bill poured the bleu cheese over his eggs, then started drizzling hot sauce on his pancakes. "Anyway, it keeps people from stealing my food."
"I guess so!" Dani laughed. She hovered near their table a little too long; and then she said, "Okay, I've got to ask: how did you know where to find buried treasure? I mean...!"
"I know lots of things." He fought down a smirk. "I happen to be psychic."
"No way." But she looked curious. She wanted to believe.
Bill had had a hunch that giving her that treasure would pay off. Nice to know his understanding of human nature was still sharp, even when he couldn't double-check the far future to see how his meddling would turn out. "If I wasn't psychic, would I have known your last name? Or where that treasure chest was?" he asked. "Or that you keep three pictures of tarantulas and a Canadian twenty in your wallet? Or that you have recurring dreams of trying to hide in sewer manholes from a fire-breathing dragon?" While he waited for her to process that, he triumphantly dug into his pancakes. He had a feeling he wouldn't be eating much more before his food got cold.
Dani's smile had disappeared. The blood drained from her face. "How...?"
"I'm... let's say, connected to a higher plain. I can see dimensions most humans can't."
"It's true," Sue piped up. (Bill took the opportunity to dig into an egg. Oh, the bleu cheese was a great choice.) "The insights h—she's offered me and so many others have been... life-changing. World-changing." Good girl.
"Insights?" Dani asked weakly.
Bill shrugged modestly. "You could call me a 'spiritual teacher,' I suppose, but that makes it sound like I'm preaching some kind of religion! All I do is teach people what I know and tell people what I see if I think it'll help 'em. Like if I see a bunch of buried gold that could change the life of a nice kid working minimum wage."
Dani reflexively touched one of her necklaces.
"You didn't think going to parties in togas was my full-time job, did you?" Bill laughed.
Dani laughed feebly too. She hadn't moved away. She was closer now, her thigh leaning against the edge of the table. "That's... wow. I've never met an actual psychic before. I mean—I went to one of Lil Gideon's live shows, but that was before the big scandal and his arrest."
"You hate to see a pillar of the community go down like that, don't you?"
"What..." Dani swallowed hard, lowered her voice, and asked, "What kinds of things does a psychic 'teach'?"
Got her. "It depends! Everyone's got different lessons they need to learn, right?" He slid out of his seat, nodded toward Sue, and said, "Excuse me ladies—I'd love to elaborate, but I'm afraid I need to hit the restroom. Sue, why don't you tell her what you've learned about, give her a concrete idea of what I do."
"It would be my honor."
As Bill passed Sue, he leaned over and whispered, "Don't mention triangles." And then he got out of her way, to let Sue do what his Death Valley girls did best.
####
When he returned to his seat, Sue leaned over the table and murmured, "I got her phone number and email."
"Good work. I bet she'd be an easy recruit."
"I bet. She's already asking how much lessons cost."
"What'd you say?"
"You offer your help to others for free, but cover your living expenses and travel costs with donations."
"Attagirl." It had been easier to use that line when he was a triangle—of course our great mentor and muse doesn't need money, he's above such earthly concerns; his mortal devotees who spread his word, though, subsist on donations... It was better for his image. They'd just have to modify their fundraising pitch for a while. "This is exactly what I hoped would happen when I invited you to this diner. I knew you wouldn't let me down."
The ghost of a smile flitted across Sue's face. "I'll follow up with her by phone. It's a pity we don't have enough time to really put the pressure on her in person."
"Why not? I bet we'd win her over in less than a week."
"I've already contacted the main compound in Death Valley. We've got plane tickets for first thing in the morning."
(Bill's blood ran cold. Somehow, it hadn't dawned on him until that moment that escaping Gravity Falls meant leaving Gravity Falls.)
"I have a motel room a few towns over, it was the closest I could find to Gravity Falls," Sue went on. "It's a straight shot to the Portland airport in the morning. Everyone's so excited—"
"Hold on," Bill said, figuring out what he was about to say next as he went. "There's been a last minute change of plans. I'm staying in Gravity Falls."
Sue stared at him. "But—my lord! You're a prisoner here, why wouldn't you come home to the people who love you?"
Love you, love you, love you. The word love alone was nearly enough to make him change his mind again. How he missed being revered. He could picture them now, these zealots who adored him so much they'd willingly bend their bodies into a throne to lift him up—and he didn't even need to turn them to stone first. It would be so easy to get away from all his human enemies forever...
Don't you wanna be in the shack with your only friend on Earth?
He shook his head. "Two reasons," he said. "One: no matter what, eventually I'll have to come back. The Age of the Triangle can only dawn in Gravity Falls. Staying makes it that much easier to get things started again. And two... I'm—working on a couple of potential recruits." He was? Wow. He was impressed at himself.
"You mean Gideon, or...?"
"No, others. One's the girl who helped me escape." He drummed his fingers on the table, calling attention to his purple fingernails. "She's a good kid. Lots of potential. Could be a real leader someday—she's a natural fit for our new world. She's got a few strings, but I'm working on helping her untie 'em."
Strings was a term that Mary, the leader of the Death Valley compound, had come up with and spread to the other girls: it meant petty mortal concerns that could tangle and tie you up, dragging you away from pursuing true spiritual growth and preparing for a better, liberated world. Your childhood religious beliefs were a string. The misguided ideas about morality you learned from the secular world were a string. Your job was a string. Your spouse was a string. Your family was a lot of strings. The intervention where your friends sat you down and told you they were worried about how much you'd changed lately and they were afraid you'd joined some kind of cult was a string. You had to cut them all.
And then Bill could tie on his puppet strings in their place.
"How old is she?"
"Thirteen. Fourteen at the end of the summer."
"Oh, wow—younger than I thought. That's great, kids are more open-minded," Sue said. "Though if she decides to join, it'll be hard to get her away from her family without a kidnapping charge..."
"Ugh, you don't need to remind me. I remember how we almost lost Karen and Jennifer. The legal system in this country is a mess." Bill had needed to torture that divorce court judge with nightmares for weeks before he caved and awarded Jennifer's mother sole custody so they could move to the Death Valley compound together. "But hey, got some good news: the other potential recruit. You remember the 'ex-cultist' who gave you gals my location. He turned on the humans who are pushing to execute me. He's almost back on our side. And he just so happens to be the girl's great-uncle. The family trusts him. If we can get 'em to pass her to him as her guardian, then she's ours. We can work out how to get her to the compound later." That was a lie. Bill was never handing Mabel to the Death Valley girls. She was better than them.
Sue looked less enthusiastic for this ex-cultist than she had for the girl. "Is he one of your captors...?"
Bill waved off her concerns, frowning. "Look. He's obviously been corrupted by the outside world. I lost contact with him for thirty years and he came back with more strings than a mop head. But I don't think he's beyond purification. He's already shown major improvement, now that he's once again under the shining light of my influence."
"But, this town..." Sue shook her head doubtfully. "Cipher, my lord, they nearly killed you once. You'd risk staying just to try to recruit two people? One who's already betrayed you—?"
"Yes!" Bill snapped. Sue flinched. "They're worth it." (He didn't question his own vehemence, his own anger at their value being doubted. He rarely questioned himself. If he asked questions, he might get answers.) "Don't you dare let this face fool you—I'm still your all-seeing god and I know what I'm doing better than you do. These two are perfect. The Age of the Triangle needs them. The traitor will repent. He WILL worship me again."
Sue stared at him with wide eyes; for a split second her breath froze in fear. She gave him a tiny nod. "Of course, my lord. My apologies."
Dani appeared at their table again. "Hey, how was everything?"
And Bill was immediately all good cheer. "Terrific, thanks!"
"Great!"
As Sue reached for her wallet, Dani waved her off. "Oh, don't worry about it—it's on the house." She winked. "I think I can afford to cover it."
Already making donations to the cause. Pretty soon all the profits from her treasure chest would be in one of Bill's bank accounts.
As they headed back out into the rain, Sue said, "So, we're staying in town at least long enough to pick up another three recruits?"
"Maybe four," Bill said. "There's another kid in town I think needs some help finding a direction."
"Another? Is this one old enough to leave home alone?"
"Not for a couple more years—but she's dying to get out just as fast as she can," Bill said. "I think you can handle her."
####
They parked just up the road from the Mystery Shack and turned the headlights off.
"Here's everything Gideon said you wanted," Sue said, handing over a paper bag. "Candles, matchbook, knife, pens, spare notebooks, five thousand dollars, a burner phone, new clothes..."
Bill pulled out a flashy golden sequin-covered coat. "Oooh!" He dug around until he also found a button-up shirt and a pair of black opera gloves. He shrugged on the shirt.
"That's... what Gideon said you requested, right?" Sue eyed the tacky, gaudy coat uncertainly.
"As long as I'm in this body, I don't have the benefit of showing up glowing in people's dreams when I have something they need to hear! I need to make them pay attention any way I can." Also, normal people had boring tastes and sequins were fantastic. He buttoned up the shirt.
"I also brought—I—thought you might want..." She held out a large pendant on a thin chain. It was an eye inscribed inside a triangle inscribed inside a circle; rays radiated out from the eye, as though it were the sun. Bill's heart leaped into his throat at the sight of it.
He realized this was the first time since his death that he'd seen his own face in any form other than a thirteen-year-old's artwork—and his own corpse. His face was ubiquitous on this planet; it was plastered on everything from money to buildings to common consumer goods. Its conspicuous absence in Gravity Falls was uncanny.
"I'm not sure if it's inappropriate—"
"It's perfect." Bill snatched the necklace from her and fiddled with the clasp until he got it on. "Exactly what I need. What did I always say about your intuition?" He considered the gloves, decided he wasn't ready to pull them on quite yet, and shrugged on the coat instead.
She restrained a pleased smile at the flattery. "Thank you, my lord."
She looked out the windshield. Just up the road was a flock of wooden signs and arrows pointing which way to turn to reach the Mystery Shack. Bill wondered whether Sue's eyes had adjusted enough to the dark that she could see their silhouettes. Sue said, "If you're not coming back to us yet, then I suppose it's time to..."
"Hold on a minute," Bill said. "You've been a bigger help tonight than you know. If it weren't for your loyalty and diligence, I wouldn't have been able to consider escaping." Blah blah blah. The truth was he'd been soaking in her reverence for the past hour and a half, like a dehydrated cactus under a cloudburst, and he wasn't leaving until he'd sucked every drop from her. "There isn't a lot I can do for you right now, trapped in this form, but you deserve a reward." He leaned toward her, his elbow against her car seat, hand on the headrest. "Let me express my gratitude the way I would have if we hadn't been interrupted during our last meeting." He tilted his head toward the back seat.
She froze as she processed the offer; and then she leaned in to kiss him hungrily.
####
"The tide's changing in this town," Bill said, pulling on his gloves, smoothing his hair back into place, putting his new coat back on. "The dawn is coming. You should stay in town now that our enemies are losing their teeth."
"Yes, Lord Cipher," she said breathlessly, still trying to get her wits about her.
(From what Bill had eavesdropped between her and Dani while he was pretending to be in the restroom, he was right that she'd been one of his "dissatisfied housewife" converts. This was probably the first time she'd ever been touched by somebody who understood anatomy. Unfortunately, she didn't know how to return the favor. But he'd been touched by reverent hands, he'd tasted tears, he'd heard a voice whine "Bill, my god, my god, my god—" That would have to hold him for a while.)
"And ditch the rental. Buy a used car," Bill said. "There's a place in town called Gleeful Auto Sales. Ask Bud for the best car on the lot, pay whatever he asks—and tell him Mr. Locke sent you."
"'Gleeful' as in...?"
"His father. My Star Boy was the only person in town who supported me—and the town's turned on his family for it. They could use our help."
Sue pursed her lips in displeasure. "Of course."
Bill gestured toward his door. "I think we've put this off long enough."
While he waited for her to get his door, he slung his two backpacks over each shoulder. Under his breath, he muttered, "'Coffee break's over; back on your heads.'"
Sue opened the door; he picked up his umbrella and stepped out into the rain.
As he walked back to his prison, he tucked his necklace beneath his shirt.
Bill reminded himself that he didn't have anything to be afraid of. Ford had thrown away the one shot that could have killed him. He was safe.
####
1:20 a.m.
As Stan followed Ford into his underground study, he shot a glance at the barren far end of the room. He grumbled, "Nice to see you haven't started putting triangle posters back up."
"I'm not..." Ford sighed in irritation. "Never mind."
"So what's so important that you had to drag me down to your nerd cave? If this isn't good—"
"I didn't waste our shot."
"What?"
At his metal worktable, Ford unlatched the Quantum Destabilizer's carrying case and opened it. "You said I wasted the only fuel we had. I didn't." He detached the NowUSeeitNowUDontium's fuel tank and held it out. The needle on the side indicated it was about a quarter full—nowhere near its full capacity, but enough for one shot, and just as much as they'd brought home from Fiddleford's.
Stan gaped. "But... hold on—we saw that shot through the walls. How the heck did you fake...?"
"Before he started developing a process to generate Dontium, Fiddleford came up with a power adaptor that could plug into the town's electricity." Ford picked up the power cord wound up in the carrying case. "He determined that it only gave the Destabilizer enough power to operate like a laser, not destroy matter and energy, so we still needed to develop the Dontium... but, I still had the cord on hand."
####
Saturday, 12:07 p.m.
Ford looked at the dummy. Looked at the note.
And then he lay the note on the dummy, knelt by the edge of the loft, opened his case, and removed the Quantum Destabilizer.
He slid out its fuel tank, returned it to the case, and pulled out the cord.
He climbed down to the bedroom; unplugged the room's air conditioning unit from its dedicated higher voltage wall socket; and plugged in the Quantum Destabilizer's cord.
In the loft, trying to figure out how to plug the other end of the cord into the Quantum Destabilizer, he was suddenly struck by the hair-raising feeling that someone was watching him. He whipped around; the eye on Bill's hood stared at him resentfully.
Ford stared back at it a moment; then he stood, pulled the hoodie off the dummy, and stuffed it into a nearby box.
He knelt. He plugged in the cable. He carefully lined up the shot with the dummy.
He fired.
####
12:09 p.m.
The atmosphere abruptly grew eerily quiet and still as the unplugged air conditioning unit fell silent. There was a shrill, whistling shriek and a blast of blue-white light so brilliant it pierced the cracks of the wooden boards in the attic bedroom's walls.
Every light in the house went out as the Quantum Destabilizer's power adapter drained every drop of electricity in town.
####
12:10 p.m.
The air was hot, stagnant, and stuffy. There was a pile of ashes three feet in front of Ford's knees.
Ford heard Dipper and Stan come into the bedroom and climb the ladder. He was seized by an urge to sweep away the ashes and the evidence of his trick before they could realize what he'd done:
The Quantum Destabilizer, at full power, completely destroyed all matter and energy.
It didn't leave behind ashes.
####
Monday, 1:23 a.m.
Ford said, "Bill left a letter in the attic asking me to help cover his getaway. If I didn't fire the gun, Bill would have known I'd told you he escaped. But if he could see the Quantum Destabilizer firing, he'd think I'd chosen his side. The only way to lure him back to the shack was by making him think I'd used up the only substance we have that could destroy him." He muttered, "Granted, I'd assumed he'd try to contact me secretly rather than knock on the door in the middle of the night, but..."
Stan gaped at Ford. Then he burst into loud laughter. "Sixer, you tricky sonova! I don't believe it!" He socked his arm. "I oughta retire from the conning business and hand it over to you!"
A smile slowly crept up Ford's face.
Stan pointed with his thumb over his shoulder at the elevator. "So we can go up there and finish him off now, right? Just wait for him to fall asleep, and...?"
Ford's smile disappeared. "No."
"N—What do you mean, 'no'?"
"I..." He took a deep breath as he chose his words. "I was serious, earlier, when I... said I want to give him a chance."
"Wh—? Still? Ford, come on, you can't think he deserves it?"
"No. Of course not. Not even close." Ford didn't hesitate. "But... does he need to deserve a chance to get one? I wonder if maybe Mabel's on to something. If he could be better, he can't show us unless we give him the second chance—before he's earned it." He sounded like a lunatic. "He can't earn it if he's dead."
Stan looked for a moment like he wanted to argue; and then something painful flashed through his eyes; and then he looked away from Ford, scowling to himself as he thought. He sighed heavily. "Yeah. Okay. Fine. Darn it, I don't wanna do it either. The creep's actually starting to grow on me. Like some kind of foot fungus."
Ford huffed. "What's important is, if we give him a chance and he throws it away, I haven't left us unarmed." He gestured to the unplugged fuel tank.
Stan looked at the tank; then looked at Ford. "You could've told us about the power cord trick yesterday, and you didn't." Stan crossed his arms. "Be honest. Do you really think, if it came down to it, you'd be able to pull the trigger now?"
"No." And again Ford didn't hesitate. "I want to believe I could; but I... don't trust myself. Yesterday morning, I never would have thought I'd decide against executing him for any reason. I know Bill's playing games with me, and yet I'm still playing along—so what else might I do?" He shrugged helplessly. He hated that Bill could still take control of his mind—even when he couldn't physically get inside it. "To some extent, he's gotten into all our heads."
Stan grimaced, but he didn't argue.
"That's why I think Fiddleford should keep the Quantum Destabilizer. He's never been taken in by Bill's tricks. If it becomes necessary, he won't hesitate."
"You know the situation's bad when Old Man McGucket's the voice of reason," Stan muttered. "But, I like that idea.  We can drop it off with him in the morning."
Ford sighed. "He's probably spent the last two days thinking Bill's dead. He won't be happy to see us."
As they walked back to the elevator, Stan said, "Maybe leaving Bill alive isn't an end-of-the-world bad idea. How much trouble can he get in when he can't escape that magic barrier around town?"
"That's true," Ford said. "He's essentially harmless—at least to the rest of the universe."
Ford didn't have anything to be afraid of. Bill was trapped in the weirdness barrier; and he couldn't even leave the shack without help. They were safe.
####
As fancy as his new coat looked, Bill was was grateful to crawl back into the comfortingly formless body-obscuring shelter of his hoodie. He pulled his hood over his face, curled up on his usual cushions (sigh) in his usual spot (sigh), and quickly fell asleep.
And began to dream.
And, in his dream, saw through his nearby eyes.
In his sleep, he could see the attic from where he lay on his cushions. He sat up, realized his vision was crooked, straightened out his hood, and stood; and he began sleepwalking.
He crept silently downstairs. He walked backwards into the gift shop. He walked up to a spinning rack of keychains that Soos had set up on the display case, took off his necklace, and hung it from one of the hooks.
He pulled aside the curtain hiding the ladder to the roof.
Bill was very good at lying. Bill was very good at lying to himself. No, that wasn't true—Bill had never lied to himself in his life, and he was willing to kill anyone who tried to say he had. Bill didn't tell himself lies; he told himself what should be the truth. Believing in a new reality was the first step toward making it real. All you had to do was lie until you weren't lying anymore—and then, you'd never lied at all. It was very simple.
He'd spent billions of years swimming in and out of dreams, until he was more comfortable with how reality worked in dreams than he was with how reality worked in actual reality; and there was no other state of existence where the line between truth and lie was blurriest. Unlike the physical world, where altering reality tended to require a little more actual work, in a dream, lying until it came true really was as simple as thinking about your new truth.
That was all it took. One bright, lucid thought to shine order through the confused fog of the subconscious.
Bill was getting good at lucid dreaming.
Bill was dreaming now.
A couple of weeks ago, Bill had heard Wendy called the trap doors in the ceiling "roof lids."
No, that wasn't true. A couple of weeks ago, Bill had heard Wendy call the roof lids "roof lids," because that was what they were. Bill couldn't open doors, didn't have the first idea of what to do with a door, but he could open lids. Jar lids. Pot lids. Toilet lids. He'd practiced with toilet lids—they had hinges, that made them the most similar to roof lids. If he could open all those lids, he could open these lids.
As he stared, the trap doors changed, in the way that dream images had of swimming and shifting dizzily before your eyes, into roof lids.
He climbed the ladder, pushed up the roof lid, climbed through; and then opened the second one that led onto the roof. He moved so silently. The rickety rungs and old wooden boards didn't even creak beneath his footsteps. He climbed out, sleepwalked his way to the roof hangout spot, and jumped off the roof.
He descended, slow as a feather, to land lightly on the ground, as though gravity hardly touched him.
Almost a month ago, on his birthday, Stan had taken off his gold chain and chucked it off into the forest so he could put on his birthday gift instead. Bill had watched enviously from the window. Now, triumphantly, he scooped up the long-coveted chain and wrapped it several times around his wrist.
And then he went to the tree where he'd hung up his second backpack full of contraband and retrieved it.
There were several pine trees right next to the shack. As near-weightless as Bill was in his dream, it was easy for him to climb one of the trees and get back on the roof.
In the gift shop, the vending machine swung open as Stan and Ford returned to the house level. They went into the living room, heading toward bed. The All-Seeing Eye hanging on the keychain rack watched as the door swung shut behind them. After waiting a few more seconds to ensure they were gone, Bill slid down onto the ladder, shut the roof lid, and jumped noiselessly to the floor. He retrieved his necklace from the keychain rack.
This was a vending machine. It wasn't a door. It clearly wasn't a door. Bill punched in the vending machine's code and stepped back as it swung aside for him. He crept down the stairs.
This was an elevator. The elevator had doors, and he didn't know how to open them, but he wasn't worrying about those. The doors would sort themselves out somehow. All he cared about was the elevator. He was NOT trying to open the doors. He wasn't even thinking about opening the doors. He pushed the button to call the elevator.
The elevator doors slid open. See, just like he'd thought: the doors took care of themselves.
He pushed the button for the lowest floor. The doors slid shut.
As he rode down, he wove his new necklace's thin chain between the links of Stan's much thicker chain. Oh yeah. That looked much better. 
The doors opened again into the interdimensional portal's control room.
He put on his necklace and stepped out. It was about time he made it back here. Bill really should have taken more time to check this place out at the start of summer. Why had he been in such a rush to kill the Pines? He'd had time travel. He could have rebuilt the entire portal by himself, won the lotto in Texas, spent a week in a seven star hotel, watched the Titanic sink, become President Trembley's First Lady, gotten Mysterious Mo's autograph, planted a NASA rocket in an Aztec temple just to give those ancient alien morons an undeserved but funny win, and then come back to finish the job.
Well, hindsight, whatever. At least he had a list of things to do if he ever got his hands on that time tape again. Anyway, he was back now.
He didn't think he'd need to be asleep to get back into the gift shop, and he probably needed his full brain turned on for the task ahead. He pulled his hood off, opened his eyes, and woke up.
The world looked so much less malleable.
He fished a notebook and red and black pens from his backpack, picked his way through the rubble of the portal, and began taking notes in Plaintext on how many parts were salvageable. Every few minutes, he flipped a page forward to begin work on blueprints for a new portal.
####
(And that concludes... season 1. idk out of how many seasons, but it sure feels like a season finale, don't it?
Next week's The Book Of Bill y'all! I'll be posting a chapter, but which chapter depends on TBOB. If TBOB is either compatible with the backstory I've got for Bill, or so wildly incompatible that there's no way I can reconcile my backstory so don't bother trying, I'll be posting a flashback chapter! But if TBOB is compatible enough that i MIGHT be able to reconcile it with my backstory with a lot of editing, I'll be posting the first chapter of "season 2" to give me time to edit the flashback. We'll find out next Tuesday!
In the meantime, a whole lot happened in this chapter, and I can't wait to hear what y'all think—about this chapter, about everything that's happened so far, about what's coming up, whatever!)
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imperator-titus · 2 months
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Favorite Party Banter [Gale Edition]
[Astarion (Ascended)] [Halsin/Jaheira] [Gale] [Karlach] [Lae'zel] [Minsc] [Minthara] [Shadowheart] [Wyll]
I often miss party banter because of party comp (and sometimes just straight up can't hear??) so here's a collection of my favorite bants while going through dialogue files. I know the wiki has the banter (most? all?) but I added the file names and dev notes.
Either Gale is the main speaker/subject or I think his reaction is good shit.
Not in any particular order.
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[PB_Laezel_Gale_ROM_Act2]
Gale: So, Lae’zel - have you ever been tempted to use psionics in your, erm, romantic endeavors? {Devnote: Curiosity winning out over awkwardness}
Lae’zel: Only once. Did you know, in low-gravity settings, githyanki can maintain aerial suspension for hours at a time? {Devnote: cheekily}
Gale: Fascinating - I think the archmage Tasha described a spell with similar effect. I really must look that up… {Devnote: latter part almost to self}
[PB_Gale_Astarion_ROM_Act3_Spawn]
Gale: If you’re feeling faint after your bout with Cazador, Astarion, I don’t mind donating some blood. {Devnote: Sincere/Genuinely trying to help}
Astarion: When you’re still full of that Netherese bile? I’ll pass, thank you.
Astarion: Besides, I have someone else to nibble on. And they are delicious.
[PB_Gale_Shadowheart_Morgue]
Gale: Look at this place. Such horrors defy descriptions…{Devnote: In very bleak/grim surroundings}
Shadowheart: Silence can be best. Give it a try sometime. {Devnote: A little cheeky, though they’re in a grim place}
[PB_Gale_Shadowheart_ROM_Act3_Selune]
Gale: I must tell you, Shadowheart, the bathing waters here leave much to be desired. {Devnote: a bit know it all}
Gale: The ablutions offered at the Temple of Beauty in Waterdeep are far superior. And they have the most excellent soaps. 
Shadowheart: Hmm. I was wondering why you always smelled like a wealthy dowager. {Devnote: teasing}
[PB_Wyll_Gale_ROM_Act2]
Gale: I’ve heard that in Baldur’s Gate, ‘wizard’ is also a term used for one who eschews their more, ahem, carnal desires. Is that true, Wyll? {Devnote: Fishing for info, a bit annoyed about what he’s heard.}
Wyll: Where are we going with this, Gale?
Gale: Oh, nowhere. I just think it a rather cruel misnomer. Not at all reflective of the glamour wizarding life affords. {Devnote: A bit sulky/sensitive about it}
[PB_Gale_Astarion_ROM_Act2]
Gale: I fear I've been rather hasty to judge you, Astarion. {Devnote: sincere/sympathetic}
Gale: One heartbreak was quite enough for me, but to experience it as many times as you have must change a person.
Astarion: Thank you, Gale. Let us both hope that broken hearts are a thing of the past.
[PB_Karlach_Gale_BlushingMermaid]
Karlach: Man, it's good to be home. First round on who?
Gale: She who thirsts buys drink the first. {Devnote: Like it's a well-known saying}
Karlach: You won't pin me down with a rhyme, wizard! {Devnote: jockeying with Gale}
Gale: She who declines gets the worst of the wines.
[PB_Laezel_Gale_ROM_Act3_001]
Lae'zel: Gale, I've heard you talking in your sleep. Your mate needs better rest for our journey.
Gale: And deprive them of the pleasure of hearing my nocturnal postulations? I'd never be so cruel.
Gale: The mind absorbs much while we believe ourselves dormant. To lie beside Gale of Waterdeep is positively educational.
[PB_Karlach_Gale_ROM_Act1]
Gale: Karlach... a hypothetical question for you.
Gale: If someone - not me, of course - detected a hint of romantic interest in them from another, unnamed individual, what might that someone do about it?
Karlach: Whoever it is, just talk to them, Gale. And leave out the hypotheticals.
Gale: Talking. Right. I'm good at that.
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whipped-for-kpop-fics · 4 months
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Seventeen & recording booth blowjobs
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🎧Who; Seventeen (individually) x gender-neutral reader 🎧What; Smut headcanon 🎧Wordcount; 1.8k 🎧Warnings; oral(mostly male receiving but mentions of reader receiving too), some dom members, some sub members, some degradation in Seungkwan's(i don't do degradation in any way usually so uh be nice to me about how it's written okay i am babie), Kwan's also a bit of a mean dom, profanity, cheol and wonwoo's deep ass voices and growls(i am not okay), minor choking in Vernon's, teasing, mentions of edging, mentions of begging, i think that's it? let me know if i missed anything
Minors do NOT interact. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in the bio.
-2024 Masterlist-
A/N- I said "imagine sucking his dick while he's trying to record vocals so he's got to try and not react at all" then the idea quickly progressed and took over my mind thanks to @wonuvs & @ourdawnishotterthanourday so here we have it, my thoughts on how each of the svt members would react to a recording booth blowjob. Also tagging @kwanisms just for the Seungkwan one 💖 enjoy it, sweetheart 😘
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🎧Seungcheol🎧 This man was born to get his dick sucked in a recording booth. He lives for his kind of shit and is as cocky and confident as you'd expect Choi Seungcheol to be. He'll have a hand in your hair the entire time to guide your pace so he at least has a semblance of a chance of getting his lines recorded. And he manages but his voice is all low and rough and he growls more than usual. Would not even surprise me if he makes you stay there on your knees while he checks the recording before returning and says it's your turn. He'll put the headphones on your ears, playing the recording of his low voice on repeat then get to his knees for you
🎧Jeonghan🎧 100% tries to act like he's just agreeing for you. No, of course, he doesn't think it's mind-numbingly hot having you on your knees with your mouth open in wait as soon as he's got the headphones on[sarcasm]. He'll try to tease you with his cock, tapping it on your lolled tongue with a smirk but it's really just an attempt to give himself a chance to gain his mental stability back. It doesn't work. He forgets the lyrics constantly and can't focus enough to even read them once he pulls them up on his phone. Does not manage to finish recording and gives up. Lets you suck him dry then takes you home to fuck and nap
🎧Joshua🎧 Honestly, he's not entirely sold on the idea. This dude is into some shit but getting his dick sucked while his mouth is next to a microphone and knowing others will listen to this later? Yeah, your sex life is for you two. However, he won't entirely dismiss it and will let you get on your knees for him when he's done recording, or part way through, so he's not right next to the mic but still close enough that there's a risk of getting caught. But then he'll check the recording after and if there's even the slightest hint of what just happened, he'll delete it and try to rerecord if he has time, without you in the booth this time of course. If he doesn't have time to record, the demon will just pretend he doesn't know what happened with an innocent "Oh, it's not there? I pressed the record button, right, babe?" pulling you into the lie smoothing.
🎧Junhui🎧 He'll be randomly giggling throughout because he doesn't know how else to react but he loves every second of it and keeps darting his bright eyes between the mic & lyrics and your face. He doesn't say anything to you during and he actually succeeds in biting back most of his moans(the ones he doesn't manage to stop he disguises with coughing which makes you try not to laugh, which sets him off giggling again) and will keep petting your head to silently tell you how good you're being for him
🎧Soonyoung🎧 The poor baby just cannot handle it, he's so fucking turned on by it all. Non-stop whimpering and stammering on his lines. He tries his best though, bless him, keeps tapping out to catch his breath and record, though inevitably keeps looking at you as he records until he's whining and you know what that means, so you lean back in and he rushes out appreciative thank yous while his head tips back and his eyes close. Finishes quicker than he ever has, not the recording but in your mouth. He literally can't step into that booth for months without popping a boner
🎧Wonwoo🎧 This man loves this kind of shit. He's half hard the second you suggest in and dragging you eagerly into the booth the next. Will stop to kiss you breathless first though, to show how appreciative he is of you. He'll be semi-focused on his lines and like Seungcheol, Wonwoo's voice is so unfairly fucking low for this and he drags his syllables so much, but luckily he's recording a slower rap anyway so it fits the style better than the original plan. Afterwards, when you both listen to the recording, he jokes that you should step into the booth with him more often (it's not entirely a joke though)
🎧Jihoon🎧 He'd try so hard and want to seem in control but he would not last long before telling you to sit still and let him fuck your mouth. He'll have endless praises as he stares down at you, fingers brushing over your cheeks and jaw tenderly in juxtaposition to how he roughly pistons his cock into your eager, sloppy mouth. He'll send you the recording clip later that night as well and suggests he fucks you in there next time. Recording booth sex becomes pretty regular for the two of you after that and opens up a whole world of kinky Jihoon tbh
🎧Seokmin🎧 He'll try so hard to keep his voice steady but he's overwhelmed and doesn't really know what to do with himself or his hands so you'll have to be patient with him and put his hands where you want them. Afterwards, he'll be a shy blushy mess, but so sated and smiley and will likely make up some excuse to go home so that he can return the favour because Seokmin is all for orgasm equality (even if the man will spend hours with his head between your thighs until you physically can't move from the amount of powerful orgasms he always gives you)
🎧Mingyu🎧 He'll be all giggly at first with excitement and nerves. He'll do his best to not let your mouth on his cock distract him but he'll lose his mind and start moaning into the mic without shame, with both hands on your head begging you to not stop yet letting you take the lead and go at your own pace, even if it's driving him crazy. But that's okay because he fucking loves it, loves having you in control of his pleasure as he has no choice but to take whatever the fuck you deem suitable in the moment even if it's nothing, or a lot
🎧Minghao🎧 You'd think he'd be the most in control but ha, no. Minghao is a giant exhibitionist(and voyeur tbh) and this shit is right up his alley. Though he will still be cautious in the way that he won't do it if anyone he doesn't trust, AKA anyone but the other Seventeen members, will have the chance to hear the recording. He may even check with Jihoon first and get his consent to try this out and Jihoon will agree so long as Minghao agrees to save the file with a certain symbol so Jihoon knows to not listen to that version. Hao will kind of be feral from the beginning, you're barely in the booth and he's pulling you into a heavy makeout before urging you to your knees as he pulls the headphones on. He doesn't even attempt to do his lines and just groans and talks pure filth to you with his slender fingers in your hair. He'll only record his lines once he's cum…the first time. He'll be hard again in no time and this time, he'll press you chest first against the wall and fuck you from behind, one hand on the back of your neck or gripping your hair and the other tight on your hip
🎧Seungkwan🎧 Part of me wants to say Seungkwan would not be into this at all. But the other part of me thinks he'd be really into it. I think it depends on what kind of mood you catch him in. But on the days you catch him in the right mood, I think he'd be a little mean about it "you want my cock so badly, huh, couldn't even wait until I'm done working? My desperate little cockslut." Teases you with his length, rubbing the tip over your lips and maybe even slapping your cheek a little with a filthy smirk on his face while you whine wordlessly, mouth still obediently open "You look so pretty, baby, drooling all over yourself for me. Do you want it? Want my cock in that greedy mouth of yours?" will make you beg and plead until you've got tears in your eyes before he slowly feeds his length into your mouth. "Now sit still and let me use your dirty little mouth like a good slut" might even cum on your face if he's feeling extra mean
🎧Vernon🎧 Unless he's going to be the one to deal with the recording afterwards, Vernon wouldn't even entertain this. I think he's very much a hugely private guy where his sex life is concerned, so he wouldn't want anyone to hear that. But if he knows for certain only he will hear the recording or that he can get to it quick enough to remove it and keep to himself, this guy will be so fucking into it. Full on talking dirty to you in between his lines with no adjustment to his volume while putting his hand on your throat to feel his cock and make you choke on him a little in the way you both love. He won't rush it either, he'll make you move slowly on his cock with a lazy smirk on his face as he watches you with his dark gaze "just like that, baby, keep going" drags it out in a way that teases you both because Vernon does love to be teased and edged even when he's in charge of the pace
🎧Chan🎧 I think Chan would be into it but he also takes his work seriously and doesn't want to disappoint anyone so he'll have a hand in your hair gripping lightly ready to pull you away the second he notices anyone enter the studio. Though he also can't help but keep pulling you closer while rolling his hips forward with low moans that rumble through his chest and up his throat. Like Jeonghan, he'll forget his lines multiple times and that's when he'll reluctantly pull you off and breathlessly ask to stop at least until he's finished this line. If you agree, he'll press a grateful little sweet kiss on your lips and go into serious idol mode to nail the lines before taking you elsewhere to finish this in private. If you refuse, whew, prepare for him to go whiney and desperate very quickly because he knows you're not in the mindset to let him just be and he loves it, loves it when you dom him. He'll forget all about the recording at this point so you'll have to remind him and if he cums before he's done recording? Yeah, he's not getting that song recorded today, baby will just be all cute and want nothing more than to tuck up against you and get you off in return
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A/N- The funniest thing is I'm just imagining Jihoon having to listen to all of this afterwards. Poor guy needs a raise and a hard drink after hearing his members getting their dicks sucked <3
If you have any suggestions about these NSFW headcanons for me to write, don't be shy to send them in via ask! I'm not always in the mindset to write smutty things but I'll get to them when the inspiration/mood strikes!
Also don't be shy to let me know what you thought of this! And please reblog if you enjoyed reading, likes are lovely but they don't help spread a writer's work for others to read and (hopefully) enjoy as much as you did, but reblogs do!
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infiniteimaginings · 4 months
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Can you do a transmale!reader x Harry Hook/Uma
(if you do multiple characters)
Where reader is chosen with the main four in the first movie (kid of Jack Sparrow) and leaves. He’s part of Uma’s crew. And when he’s chosen in the first movie, he’s pre-T or anything like it.
Then the second movie comes along and reader goes back to the isle with the others to bring back Mal. But he really goes because he wants to see his pirates. Except now he’s been on T for about a year now and had his surgeries. So they don’t recognize him and kidnap him along with Ben.
Anddddd I can’t really think of anything else after that. So…have fun with it! Preferably a happy ending, with lots of fluff and sweetness.
Pre-established Uma/Harry and Reader didn’t come out to them before leaving so as far as Uma/Harry know, Reader is a cis woman. So it’s a surprise when he finally tells him who he really is.
And yeah, that’s all. It’s alright if you don’t write it, I’d understand. Thanks!
Are we supposed to know you? (Uma x TransMale!Reader x Harry Hook)
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Summary: You were sent off with the other Vk's to Auradon and when you come back to retrieve Mal, you're changed. You of course go back for Mal, but it's mainly to see the people you left and to tell them you're home. What happens when they don't recognize you and see you as a threat, just like Ben. How will they know you're who you say you are? Pronouns: You/Yours, She/Her (In mentions from Uma and Harry), He/Him Warnings: None Word Count: 2.7k A/N: (Long A/N) Act like Jefferson doesn't exist, I forgot he existed lol. Also, I won't lie, I started this at one o'clock in the morning, and was contemplating how on earth I make this fluff when they don't recognize him and kidnap him. So, unfortunately I didn't get lots of fluff into it, I apologize, I will write a part two to this little thing just for you with only fluff in it. I hope I did the general idea justice, if I didn't, I apologize. Lots of love! <333 (Even if I explained it, you guys would not understand how frustrated I've been with tumblr and my computer. I'm so sorry for how late this is, I've been upset because I had to delay it. It's here now though.)
When Mal came to you , talking about the Isle, you couldn't help but get excited. Your eyes lit up and your smile got wider at the thought of discussing it. Mal noticed your obvious signs of wanting to continue the conversation so she sat down next to you on the bed, looking out the open curtains where the students of Auradon Prep walked. The blonde girl looked over to you, the tips of her hair their typical purple. She sighed and looked back down, messing with her fingers, “Do you ever feel like…” She paused, unable to express how she felt in words. It would’ve been easier for her if you were the first person she went to, but you weren’t.
She went to Evie, Jay, Carlos, but none of them could understand where she was coming from. It was as if everyone was happy with their new lives, but her.
Mal groaned, putting her head into her hands, unable to speak anymore.
You looked at her curiously, placing a hand on her back and rubbing small circles into it. “You wanted to talk about the island…right?” You asked her, tilting your head to see her expression. She removed her hands and nodded, not looking at you. “Yeah.”
“Is it because…you miss it?”
There was a pause, as if the room itself stilled, as if the world stopped. You moved your hand a bit just to make sure it wasn’t some sort of magic freezing everything. 
Mal sat up straight, swallowing hard, “I don’t miss the island itself.” She confessed, making eye contact with you, “I miss who I was.” She explained, taking a deep breath, “Do you get what I mean?”
You looked at her blankly, tilting your head as you looked down at yourself. 
As you did so, she opened her mouth before closing it immediately. She shook her head and laughed, slapping your arm lightly. “You know what I mean!”
“Hey, I didn’t even say anything!” You chuckled out, putting an arm around her, placing your head on hers. “But…” You began, rubbing her arm softly as she leaned into you, “I do get where you’re coming from.”
Mal looked up, her eyes a bit water, “You do?”
You nodded with a smile, “We went from a life of no no structure, doing whatever we want, enjoying life to…” You blew air out of your mouth, sighing heavily, “Rules, etiquette, expectations.” 
The girl next to you stiffened at the last word before she relaxed, leaning more into your shoulder. “I just miss….” She trailed off, shaking her head.
“You miss the freedom.”
“Yeah, I miss the freedom.”
You nodded, thinking for a moment. Soon enough, you removed your arm from her and turned to her, “Then, get it back.”
“What?”
“Show everyone that you still deserve your freedom.” You explained, moving your hands with your words. “We didn’t stop being villain kids just because we started going to Auradon.” You continued watching as her eyes got bigger, “You don’t have to fit into these boxes people are trying to force us into.” You told her, shaking your head, “If they don’t understand that, then they never really understood you.”
Your words seemed to have gotten to Mal as she stood up quickly, a small smile on her face. “I needed that, thank you.” She told you, inhaling softly as she turned to the door to walk out.
You waved and mumbled a small ‘you’re welcome’ once the door was closed since she gave you no time to. 
You didn’t think much of it, you just assumed she would do something to show people that she was still herself even if she wasn’t ‘evil’, or necessarily ‘good’. 
Well, you didn’t think much of it until the next day when the VK group and Ben bursted into your room. You jumped, shoving a paper under your pillow as you clutch your chest. “Last I checked, knocking wasn’t a foreign concept.”
Evie mumbled a small apology as the rest stood with apologetic but serious faces.
You sat up since the air was so tense, tossing your legs over the bed to stand in front of them, “What’s up?”
“Mal left for the Isle.” Carlos blurted out, blinking rapidly as he looked everywhere but you.
Ben looked down with a guilty face, a frown placed on his lips. “We had a fight…” He mumbled, “She said I didn’t understand how…” He paused, clearing his throat, “She said I didn’t understand her.”
Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open at the realization and of the conversation you had with her.
Jay noticed your expression and knitted his brows together, “What?”
A harsh cough left your throat as you looked away from them, “I might’ve had something to do with that.”
The group simultaneously yelled, “What?!”
Your hands raised in an automatic surrender, “Hey, she came to me talking about the Isle,” You began your explanation, “and I miss my
Evie wasn’t pleased to say the least, she crossed her arms with a raised brow. “We are your people.”
You almost laughed, but given the situation you decided not to. “I miss my people.” You specified, your words reminding the group that all of you weren’t exactly the bestest of friends back on the island.
They couldn’t say anything, they knew you were right. Ben didn’t exactly get the message, and that reminded you all of why you were gathered in the first place.
You agreed to go to the Isle to help Mal.
You agreed, but you weren’t really going to help Mal. She lived there her entire life, you knew she would be fine. She knows her way around the island, she practically ran it. You weren’t going to the Island to help Mal, you were going home.
Once all of you reached the island, you thought you would all spread out to find Mal…that wasn’t the case. You all went in a suspiciously large group to find the daughter of Maleficent, something you thought was stupid.
You thought it was stupid, but you all still found where she was hiding out and Ben went to talk to her.
Evie, Jay, and Carlos all talked to each other as you scanned the area, kicking the ground slightly as time passed by. You were barely on the island and now you all were going to leave. It wasn’t how you wanted things to go, nothing was how you wanted to go.
Ben walked out and before anyone could question him, he walked straight past you guys. Everyone looked at each other and you sighed, “I’ll get him.” You grumbled, jogging after him.
“Ben!” You yelled, trying to catch up to him. “Ben, wait up!” You yelled once again, finally reaching him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “What happened? Why are you so upset?”
“She doesn’t want to come with us, all of this was for nothing.” Ben spoke harshly, ripping his beanie off his head and throwing it to the ground.
You sighed, picking the beanie up, dusting it off. “Ben, do me a favor.”
“What!”
“Look around right now.” You told him, gripping the beanie tightly. He looked at you confused but you repeated, “Look around right now.”
Ben regulated his breathing, calming down enough to look around. It was cramped, cluttered, dirty even. It wasn’t properly cared for but the people around seemed to be having a good time nonetheless. 
When he looked back at you, you were looking at the children running around, trying to find a way to pick-pocket Ben. “This is how we grew up Ben…” You mumbled, finally making eye contact with Ben, “You can’t expect Mal, the daughter of the biggest villain who was on this island, to just snap into a princess.” You explained to him, shaking your head.
Ben turned, looking at the area around, “I didn’t realize…” He whispered, eyes flickering to something new the more he looked. 
When the son of Belle and the Beast turned around to face you again, you were nowhere to be found. He turned around quickly, breath picking up the pace as he looked for you, “Where’d you go?” He called out, spinning in a circle until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He let out a sigh of relief, “Come on, that wasn’t fun-” The next thing he knew, everything went black.
Blurry eyes opened, a dry throat let out a cough, and vision restored. Ben looked around for a moment before his gaze fell on you. You were sat with a blank expression, seemingly uninterested in your current situation.
Ben muttered a few incoherent sentences but you cut him off for a moment.
“Getting kidnapped was not on my vacation bucket list.”
Neither of you could even begin a conversation after your words when someone started laughing. The two of you looked up and saw someone had walked in, seemingly amused at your situations. 
“Absolutely hilarious, you’re quite funny.” The male said, looking you over a bit before turning his attention to Ben to do the same thing.
Your brows furrowed as you broke out of whatever ‘trance’ you were in. “Harry?” You asked aloud, adjusting yourself to get a closer look at him.
He pointed his fake hook to you, placing it under his chin. “How do you know my name?”
“How does who know your name?” A voice called from behind the boy, footsteps getting louder as they neared.
Harry tilted his head, “This one.” He spoke, moving his hook from under your chin to step back.
The person that walked in was a girl, she had light blue braids and brown eyes. She stood tall with the hat of a pirate on. 
Your brows furrowed once again, your mind still a little fuzzy from your current situation. “Uma?” You mumbled out, tilting your head.
“You know these people?” Ben suddenly spoke out, trying to get out the rope that tied his hands behind his back.
You looked over at him, a bit unimpressed. “I was raised here, I know everyone here.”
Harry gasped falsely, fake hook over his heart, “You’re a VK?” He asked, not expecting you to answer, since he didn't believe you.
You nodded, forgetting that you look different so they don’t recognize you. “Uh, yeah.” You spoke as if it were obvious, “Born and raised.” You spoke, trying to jog their memory. “Uma, I was in your shop every single da-”
“Oh, and are we supposed to know you because of that?” She asked with a straight face, squatting down to bore her eyes into yours.
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes before opening them again, “If you said you didn’t, I’d be questioning our friendship.”
Your captors both laughed, looking at each other, “Friendship?”
Ben decided to give up, still listening to the conversation. So much was running through his mind, he was trying to figure out how to get out of this situation until…he realized something. You knew these people, you guys were friends, they just didn’t recognize you. If Ben reminded them, maybe they would let you guys go.
He thought it over before blurting out, “He’s the child of Jack Sparrow, so yes he is a villain kid.” 
Everyone went silent, their laughs were quiet, and your breathing stopped at Bens sudden exclamation.
You looked over and Ben looked you up and down, and that is when you realized…they don’t know who you are. You had changed so much in the past year, even your voice was different. How did you just expect them to recognize you?
When you looked back at the two pirates, they were staring you down. If looks could kill, you would be six feet under.
Uma squatted down in front of you, glaring harshly, “Don’t you ever disrespect her like that ever again.” She whispered to you seriously, her head whipping to Ben, “Don’t you ever mention her in front of me, again.”
Harry took a few deep breaths, “She would’ve been fine here, and you took her.” He told Ben, poking his chest with his hook. “If you ever try to lie to us, I will gut you like a fish.”
Uma nodded to the statement, “You think we wouldn’t know her family?” She asked you, tilting her head. “Jack Sparrow had one child, a daughter, and she’s never coming back.” She paused, biting the inside of her cheek, “For you, a preppy, to just try to claim her father as your own for some sense of freedom…it’s disgusting.”
The blue haired girl stood slowly, keeping her eyes on you. You finally released the breath you were holding, when she removed herself from your space.
You blinked back a few tears as they turned to walk out the door. Harry gently took Umas hand, whispering some things that you couldn't hear.
They were so good together, they still defended your name even if they thought you weren't there. You didn't expect your chest to hurt so badly when they protected you, even if they believed you were gone for good.
“I would’ve joined your crew even if I lost that race.” You mumbled, looking at their backs with sad eyes.
The two paused before turning to you, “Excuse me?” Uma asked, standing in place.
“The race..” You trailed off, “If you won I would join your crew, if I won you would have to spend a week proving to me how much you wanted me to join and then I’d give you my answer.” You continued, nodding with your own words. You didn't notice how they continued to walk towards you. You continued on, “Unfortunately, I was dragged to Auradon before I could answer you, so I’m doing it now.” You told them, looking up to see both of them analyzing you with parted lips, “I was going to join your crew anyways.”
Umas eyes were focusing on each of your features before she cupped your face, looking at you more intensely.
Harry looked up, making eye contact with you, “You have her eyes…” He muttered, taking off his hook to trace your cheeks.
You swallowed harshly before breathing out a chuckle, your cheeks warming a bit. “I would hope so, I was born with my eyes, guys.”
Uma shook her head, “But she’s… you’re not…”
“A girl…I know.” You whispered out, looking down, or trying to. Harry picked your head back up swiftly.
His eyes were watering slightly, “You’re telling the truth aren’t you?”
You nodded as best as you could with his hands on your cheeks. “I know I don’t look the same…”
He shook his head, “But you’re still you…” 
Uma quickly untied the rope keeping you tied up, trying her best to go quickly. She had ordered her crew to tie your guys up from your arms to your legs, and now she was regretting it. Harry noticed her struggle and began to help untie you, muttering curses when he got to harder knots.
Once you were untied, you rubbed at your wrists, looking down for a moment at the burn. 
You looked up, finally, and were met with Harry and Uma on their knees, staring at you. Their eyes were teary, their chests were rising and falling deeper than ever, neither could speak.
You felt your own eyes begin to water as you rushed forward, wrapping your arms around the both of them.
Harry's arm immediately went around you, he began to cry into your shoulder, holding you tightly. “We thought we’d never see you again.” 
Uma, on the other hand, was hesitant. She slowly wrapped her arm around you. When she did, she felt a rush of familiar comfort, a heat rushing through her chest, something she only felt with Harry and…you. She bit her tongue so as to not cry as she buried her nose into your other shoulder, “We would’ve found a way to you anyways.”
The warmth of the two enveloped you as you finally got to be near them again, as you finally got to feel their comforting arms again. “I have no doubt in my mind that you would’ve found me again.” You whispered to them, trying to hold them tighter.
Harry rambled on about never leaving them again, Uma ran her fingers down your back, both of them weren't letting you go anytime soon.
Uma sniffled a bit, "We missed you so much."
"I missed you guys too, more than you'll ever know."
You were finally with your people again. Now, you didn’t have to stare at a picture of the three of you, wishing they were in your arms.
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sxcret-garden · 10 months
Text
Yunho ღ Tight [M]
ღ Ateez Yunho x fem-bodied!reader ღ words: ~700 ღ genre: smut (soft dom!Yunho, size training (kinda) but it's just his fingers, squirting) ღ warnings: none
Desc.: You just really want to be full of your boyfriend’s pretty fingers… (inspired by one of the asks I got a few days ago that wouldn't leave my mind 🫣)
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You whimper at the way your boyfriend is slowly pumping two of his long digits in and out of you, his fingers effortlessly gliding back into your pussy with each thrust. You're dripping wet to say the least, and as you're unable to take your eyes off his hand between your legs, he presses a light kiss to the corner of your mouth, making your eyes flutter shut for a second.
"You like that?" he asks, his voice kept low. "Watching my fingers going in and out of your cute little pussy?"
"Yeah..." you admit abashedly. You gulp before looking up at his darkened eyes, not missing the way the sight of you enjoying such a simple act so much takes his breath away. "Want another one..." you mutter.
"You think you can take it?" Yunho asks and you nod with determination. Carefully he adds a third finger, and though you can feel a bit of a stretch, with the way he keeps slowly moving in and out of you, you adjust to the feeling quickly. Curling his fingers inside you, you moan at the sensation that courses through your body when he hits your g-spot, and you throw your head back.
"Yunho..." you mutter his name, finding greed behind his gaze as you feel your high slowly building up in the pit of your stomach. "It's not enough..."
"What is?" He leans in to place another kiss on your temple, before letting you answer.
"Want... another finger..." Your boyfriend looks at you with concern for a moment, and you shoot him a pleading look in response.
"I don't want to hurt you..."
"It's fine... I just have to get used to it," you try to convince him. "Please, Yuyu..." His expression changes ever so slightly, telling you that the nickname is affecting him. "Wanna be full of your pretty fingers..." He gasps, barely noticeable, and then he nods okay.
"Lie down, baby," he says, crawling on top of you. "I'll help you relax." And then, as soon as your shoulders hit the mattress, he connects his lips to yours in a slow but deep kiss as he keeps working his fingers inside you at a steady pace. You moan into the kiss, bucking your hips up into his hand, and you throw your arms around his shoulders.
"Please... I won't last much longer..." you mutter, and you earn yourself an amused smile from your boyfriend.
"You're gonna cum just on my fingers, hm? Then let me give you what you want." He pulls all the way out, and the next time he enters you, you can undeniably feel an uncomfortable stretch. Yet the thought of having four of his fingers filling you up is enough to want him to keep going anyway. And so you throw your head back, moaning from the pleasure.
"K-keep going... don't stop..."
"So desperate... and so tight," he whispers, the look in his eyes changing as he watches you, and the bulge in his pants undeniably growing. "Fuck, you're really gonna take all of that, aren't you?" He slips inside fully, but doesn't stop moving as he lets you adjust, and you keep begging him not to stop.
"Y-yeah... gonna take your fingers... wanna cum on all of them..." you stammer, starting to see stars from how full your pussy feels, and soon the uncomfortable feeling fades and leaves you with nothing but pure bliss.
"Shit, Yuyu... I'm gonna cum..." Your boyfriend curls his fingers against that perfect spot deep inside you again, pumping in and out of your cunt at a steady speed now. And just when you can see yourself almost reaching the edge, he presses his thumb against your clit, making you cry out. Next thing you know you're coming undone, clenching around all four of his digits and squirting all over his hand. And with each time your orgasm shakes you, you can't but moan his name, until nothing but slurred moans escape you throughout the last aftershocks.
"You took them so well, babe..." he mumbles as he scatters a few kisses all over your chest, slowly pulling his fingers out of you. "You okay?"
"Yeah," you answer, smiling as your boyfriend takes you into his arms. "More than okay, actually."
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fourmoony · 6 months
Note
This may be weirdly specific so feel free to ignore if so but
Jamie with a reader who’s never felt like she was someone’s first choice and is having a hard time grasping that she *is* his
thanks for requesting angel! 1.5k f!reader modern!au
he's my sweet boy i need him in a way i cannot describe
masterlist
James' shrill ring tone fills the room, but neither of you make an effort to move for it where it's buzzing against the coffee table. You probably should be the one to do it, considering you're sprawled across the top of James, making it rather difficult for him to move. But, he doesn't ask you to, so you don't. Even when it rings a second time. You think James might actually be asleep, unaware to the incessant ringing. He's slept through worse, in all fairness.
But he groans petulantly when the ringing stops, turns to ping after ping, the texts flashing across his locked screen and illuminating the dark calm of his living room. His hand leaves it's place on your hip, reaching half heartedly for the device and when he fails, you sigh and reach for it yourself. It'd been a peaceful two hours of relaxing, just existing together in the same space, not really talking, not really doing anything except revelling in the feeling of each other's presence on James' couch after a busy week of barely seeing each other. Between your work, James' rugby practices, and trying to maintain social lives, it'd been hard to have quality time.
You're okay with that. More than okay with that. James has his life and you have yours. This thing you have, it's new and it's fragile, and you won't dent it or risk losing it by being clingy, by telling James that you miss him, that you want to spend more time with him, friends and coworkers, practices and life be damned. You refuse. So you slide the top half of your body off the couch, one hand holding yourself up on the floor, and the other outstretched for James' phone.
His left hand cups the back of your thigh, fingers slipping between the left and right. It's an innocent touch, but heat floods your body all the same as your fingers wrap around his rubber phone case and you heave your body back on top of his. He grumbles when the phone starts to ring again, rubs an apologetic hand up and down the back of your thigh which has you forcing your face into the crease of his neck and shoulder to hide the bright red of your cheeks.
He rests his head atop yours as he answers the phone.
Sirius' voice booms through the speaker, though it's too muffled to make out what he's saying. James answers whatever it is with a tired sounding "Not tonight, mate."
There's more muffled talking, a couple of voices added into the mix and you assume that Sirius is in the local pub. Your heart sinks a little when you realise he's likely inviting James out, and you don't have the heart to tell him you'd rather stay inside the cozy confines of his flat, half asleep in the dim evening light. You don't want to seem controlling or toxic, so you lie still, control your breathing, don't react to whatever is coming down the line from Sirius' end.
James chuckles lightly, his free hand rubbing soothing circles into the small of your back, hand warm against your skin where it's worked it's way under your - his - rugby jumper. "Yeah, yeah, she's here." James' hand squeezes the pudge of your hip at the mention of you.
You tilt your head up in interest and James smiles down at you, warmly, presses his lips to the crown of your head as Sirius screeches down the phone.
"No. No, Sirius, she doesn't want to spend her only day off in the pub listening to you lot." James speaks with humour in his voice, but you can see the hint of frustration that's in his eyes.
You frown, wonder if he's frustrated because he feels he has to pick between you and his friends. You love his friends, you get on well with them, but he's right, you can't think of anything worse on your only day off than going to the pub. "You should go." You whisper, urging James by attempting to climb off of him.
His arm wraps tight around your waist, brows furrowed as he looks down at you and shakes his head, "No." He mouths.
Then, "No. Sirius. No. Mate, you're smashed, have Moony take you home."
James laughs at whatever Sirius says in retort, and then the two are saying their goodbyes. James tosses his phone onto the coffee table after he switches it to silent mode.
"You should go. This is your only day off, as well. Go see your friends. We can do a quick dinner or something tomorrow." You try to urge him again.
James' immediate response is to hold you tighter to him, as though you may actually be trying to escape him. "I'd rather spend my time here. With you." He shrugs, like it's nothing.
Your heart does a little stutter at his words, but your brain catches up and you sigh, "Jamie, it's okay. If you want to go, you should."
His brows hook upward at the middle when he furrows them, his eyes searching yours, "Why is it so hard for you to believe I'd rather be here with you?"
You try not to flinch at his words, try not to think about all the boys before who've put a myriad of things above you. It's fine, really. You've grown accustomed to settling for the dregs, the stolen moments. James is worth the heavy feeling it leaves in your chest to be second best. Simply because when you're with him, the world melts away.
Feigning indifference, you shrug against him, "Because all we're doing is laying here in the dark, half asleep. Wouldn't you rather be out with your friends having a laugh?"
"Would you?" James counters, and it seems like he genuinely wants to know your answer, like he thinks, foolishly, so foolishly, you'd rather be anywhere else. That you wish you were doing more.
Doing nothing with James forever sounds like the best thing you've ever heard. "No. Not at all. I love this. But I know you. You're a social butterfly." You speak softly, cautious of the conversation turning into a row.
You have too many experiences with conversations like the one you're having now being turned into a row.
James nods, "I love this, too. And you're right, I like to be social, but sometimes that drains me. I've spent all week being social, spent all week missing you, and I'm drained. All I wanted to do all week was see you, spend time with you. I couldn't think of anything worse than going to the pub, right now."
His hands are as assuring as his words, trailing a path of warmth and comfort across the planes of your back, your thighs, your hips. It's surreal, the assertiveness he speaks with, the way he makes sure you know he means every word. Your stomach flutters with the idea of him missing you as much as you missed him. It's weird, to feel validated, to feel content and sure.
"I just don't want your friends to think you're picking me over them, or something." You mumble, head dropping back into the space between his shoulder and neck.
James hums, "I am though. Not in a bad way. I just," He pauses, like he's searching for the words, "I'm sure about this, you know? Sure about you, about us. You mean a lot to me, and I'm all in. You come above everything else because, for me, that's the only way it'll work."
You feel rather silly for the tears that spring their way to your eyes, and begin to leak without your consent against James' neck. He must feel them, because he tuts, using his hands to pry your face away from the skin, thumbs swiping softly at the fallen tears. He looks at you so gently you might start sobbing. Relief washes over you in waves, and you realise you hadn't even been aware how worried you were that you felt more for James than he did for you.
"Why are you crying, sweet girl?" He whispers, pressing a kiss to each of your tear stained cheeks.
You loose a breath, "I've never been someones first choice before."
That visibly upsets James, who takes it upon himself to right this wrong, stave off your tears by pressing kisses all over your face between murmured promises.
"I'd pick you in this life," a kiss to your nose, "the next," a kiss to your forehead, "the one after that," a kiss to your chin, "and in every universe."
He finishes with a kiss to your lips, soft and deep, his hands steady on the line of your jaw. You whine a little, pushing further into him until he's chuckling into your mouth.
"I'd pick you, too," You say into his mouth.
James smiles, bright as anything you've ever seen, "Thank God for that, lovie."
And yeah. Thank god for that.
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lcvclywon · 5 months
Text
In another universe
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synopsis ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 You swore the next time you saw Sunghoon you would cuss him out and turn a cold shoulder. But when he suddenly appears at your apartment door one night, drunk and desperate, you find yourself faltering
now playing > •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10 difficult - gracie abrams, anaheim -niki, hope ur okay - olivia rodrigo
warnings ˎˊ˗ cursing, crying, fighting, kissing, mentions of hoon being emotionally unavailable, mentions of breaking up, heavyyyy angst, mentions of alcohol, mentions of being drunk, mentions of children, open ending, use of the word masochist once, pet names
genre ⭑.ᐟ hurt to ??
pairings: non-idol ex!sunghoon x female reader
wc ᵎᵎ 1.28k
thoughts frm yuya 💭 fun fact this was actually based off a convo i had with my ex!!!!!! 😁😁😁 so! hit kinda close to home guys! anyways angst is actually so fun to write i won't even lie...
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You had just finished taking a shower when you heard a few gentle and quiet knocks coming from your door, barely audible but loud enough for you to hear them. Hand still intertwined in your wet hair in an attempt to dry it, you peered out the peephole to check who was disturbing you at this hour. 
Fuck. 
Out of all the people you didn’t want to see, Park Sunghoon was at the top of that list. Yet there he stood, eyes heavy and lidded, hair a mess, and gaze averted on the floor, yet you could tell his eyes were plagued with desperation. And even though you so badly wanted to ignore him standing out there hopelessly, a small part of you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you had done that. 
Keeping the door ajar you squeezed your head between the gap, his eyes immediately darted to your own. Fuck, you shouldn’t have done this. You knew you shouldn’t have done this because the moment his eyes met yours you felt the all-so-familiar sense of longing overcoming your soul, the sense of longing you’d been trying to fight off for 6 months; all for it to come crashing down on you again. Well, there goes half a year's worth of healing. 
“Sunghoon? What are you doing here?” 
“YN, I uh- I didn’t think you’d open up…” shit. His breath reeked of alcohol, of course, the only time he’d come to see you would be when he was drunk. 
“Are you drunk Sunghoon?” your words lingered with bitterness as they left your tongue 
“Just- just a bit…can I come in?” his eyes were still pleading, and that accompanied by the shaking of his voice would’ve been enough to break you. But you refused to let him do that again. 
“Sunghoon you’re drunk you really should just go home-” your hands fumbled at the doorknob as you tried to gently shut the door, but Sunghoon was quicker than you it seemed. 
“Please,” his hand reaching towards your own, “I’ll be good.” fuck. 
You hated how easily you faltered under his words, his gaze, his touch. You hated it so badly, yet you allowed yourself to do so every. single. time.
Begrudgingly you opened the door fully to let him drunkenly stumble in, collapsing at the end of your bed. A scene all too familiar that haunted you in your sleep. You swore you would never let Sunghoon back into your life, that the next time you saw him you would spit insults in his face and stand your ground, yet with one touch of the wrist the defences you raised for yourself seemed to be built upon sand. 
Seating yourself at the edge of your bed you allowed yourself to gingerly run your fingers through his hair, you missed this. However, that was all the more reason why you shouldn’t be doing this. Shouldn’t be allowing yourself to hurt again, just at the expense of a few fleeting moments of serenity. 
“Why are you here drunk Sunghoon?” 
“I,” he propped himself up, allowing him to stare into your glossy eyes, “I don’t really know. I got kinda drunk and- fuck I couldn’t stop thinking about you love.”
Love, fuck you hated how naturally it rolled off his tongue. “Don’t call me that.” 
“Sorry…” he mumbled hazily, “Don’t you miss it though?”
You did. “No.”
“Well I do, I miss you YN. I miss all of this, your hugs, your voice, your touch, your anger. Fuck, I miss being scolded by you after drinking actually, it’s weird right, maybe I’m a masochist.” he said with a small grin
“Hoonie come on-” Hoonie, you didn’t even mean to say it yet the words seemed to come out of you like it was an instinct. 
“I missed that too,” he cut in as his hand slowly drew circles around your knuckles, “Shit YN I missed you so much” his eyes slowly started to well up with tears, a few threatening to drip down. You hated how your heart still held a soft spot for him, but you hated seeing him cry even more. 
“Hoon don’t cry.” your hands reached over to cup his face, fuck if this was all so wrong why did it feel so right. Like your hand belonged there. 
“YN- fuck,” now he really was crying “I really do love you.”
Do, present tense. “Just because you loved me doesn’t mean I felt loved by you” 
The memories you tried so hard to repress suddenly flooded all back to you, the arguments, the sleepless nights, the cold glares. The reason you broke up in the first place. You tried your hardest to forget that night, the shouts between you two that filled up your apartment, the way his words pierced through your heart like a spear, the way he walked out so easily. All to just walk back into your heart like he owned the place. Fuck he did own your heart though, he never stopped owning it. 
“I’m sorry YN. I’m so so sorry, I should’ve been better. I can be better. Please, I’ll love you the way you’re meant to be loved. I won’t shut you out anymore, fuck I never should’ve. I just- please, I can’t keep living without you. I haven’t been living without you-” he was practically sobbing now. “Please YN, I mean it.”
You wiped away the tears running down his cheeks, seeming to not notice how your eyes were stinging with tears as well. “Hoonie I miss you too but, we can’t keep hurting each other like this. We aren’t good for each other” 
“We were good YN. It was so so good, I just fucked it up. Please give me a chance, I can be better.” 
Your brain told you to block out his words; and deny everything that was coming out of his mouth, but your heart seemed to overpower those commands. “It wasn’t just you Hoonie, I could’ve been better too-” 
“No you were perfect.” he blurted out cutting you off, “I never stopped loving you. Can’t we just, start over?” desperation was an understatement to describe him, god he was a pleading mess. 
You could practically hear your own heart-shattering. “I never stopped loving you either Hoonie. But you’re drunk right now, let’s just talk about this in the morning ‘kay?” 
“Okay but, can I please sleep here?” 
No, he shouldn’t. “Sure hoon”
Sunghoon made his way to the top of your bed, arm reaching out signalling you to come over. A signal you regretfully accepted. You nested yourself between his arms, breathing in his cologne while his chin rested on the top of your head. You hated this, fuck you hated how natural this felt. You hated how easily you could melt into his touch, his words, his scent. You hated how badly you loved it. 
“I love you, my YN” his breath slightly hitched before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. 
You tried ignoring the lump in your throat but it was no use, the next words that came out of your mouth were swallowed with sniffles and quiet sobs “I love you too hoonie”
Maybe in another universe, you two could’ve talked everything out. Maybe you two could have reconciled and lived happily together again. Maybe the 4 years of dating didn’t disappear in one night. Maybe you two could’ve gotten married like he said. Maybe you lived in a nice 2-bedroom house in the countryside, dogs running around the yard whilst you both basked in the sunlight. Maybe you would have actually had the child you fantasised about. 
Maybe, just maybe, Sunghoon would’ve been there when you woke up the next morning.
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perm taglist! (send an ask to be added) @floweryang @cupidhoons @msauthor
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Note
Am I the asshole for lying to my friend I needed a kidney transplant because they didn't read my message carefully?
The title is insane, but there's context here.
I (18F) have a friend (17X, let's call them Cloud) whose reading comprehension is piss poor, to be honest. I wouldn't mind this, but they consistently ask questions about my messages that are answered in the message (for example, I've said "I have Calculus from 2-3 today" and they've responded with "What time do you get out of class?"). This pisses me off, so in an attempt to curb this behavior, when I have something important to say, I've started bolding and italicizing important information in my messages so it's easier for them to see.
I've been having a few pains I won't go into detail about here, and went to urgent care because my mom said it was probably a UTI. It turns out I had a pretty mild kidney infection, and I just needed some antibiotics and would be fine. I missed a few texts from Cloud when I went to urgent care, so I sent this message (the asterisks are to bold and italicize the text):
"Sorry just got back from urgent care i guess i have a kidney infection? ***I'm okay*** though ***i just need to take antibiotics for a week***"
And they replied with "ARE YOUR KIDNEYS OKAY???? DID THEY GIVE YOU MEDICINE OR SOMETHING?"
As you can see in the message above, I already answered both of those questions. I was in pain and bit irked, so I told them "No, they said I'm going to need a transplant," fully expecting they'd realize how ridiculous that was. They did not, and freaked out about it, and I felt pretty bad, so I told them I didn't actually need a transplant and was just messing with them. They got really mad and said it was mean to lie to them about something so important, and haven't talked to me in a few days. I thought that I wasn't really lying, seeing as I told them the truth and they ignored it, but perhaps I should've acted differently.
So, Tumblr, am I the asshole for telling my friend I needed a kidney transplant, when I actually just had a mild kidney infection?
What are these acronyms?
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softshuji · 6 months
Text
You're starting to believe Shion doesn't have the capacity to be mad at you,
and it makes you a little angry when you've done something wrong, and he can only click his tongue and say 'I don't mind, I'll sort it out' and he's on his hands and knees picking up the shards of the broken glass now scattered over the kitchen floor.
He might nick his own palms with a wince, but he diligently grabs the broom and sweeps the flints up before you can comment on how you should have been doing it.
He turns up with a replacement the next day and it finds a home next to the others, as if it had never happened in the first place. And he never gets mad, never yells, never speaks negatively even if you deserve it, even if you're pushing his buttons and being irritating, he can only smile.
You crash your car, you lose your handbag, you set the smoke alarm off, you get into trouble constantly and he has nothing to say except, 'it's okay, it'll be fine' and you're torn between believing maybe that he doesn't have the capacity to get mad at all with you,
or maybe he doesn't care enough to do so. Anger is passion after all, isn't that what they all say?
You've taken to doing more reckless things just to get a reaction that isn't the softhearted and loving smile thrown towards you whenever you drop something and send the pieces flying and you hate yourself a little bit every time when you know he's being so kind, and you'd be devastated if he wasn't.
That's always the thing about him- and the rules are different for you.
He doesn't take you to gang meetings often and they call him 'mad dog' when you're not around and it baffles the others (ran and Rindou especially) that his girlfriend is a sweet, innocent, intuitive thing that dotes on him every day- enough for you to send him out with home cooked lunches that don't give him stomach aches. Though he'll never admit he gets them at all, he's never really been one to complain at anything.
If anything they're a little jealous. How can someone as 'unput together' as him bag a girl like that?
You would have a mind to tell them exactly how if you ever knew that conversation had happened- but he makes a point to keep 'all that gang shit' away from you anyway. He likes your little corner, the slice of domestic life that you offer him where he can perhaps be something else, where he gets to be the man in charge for once, where you don't mind that he is sometimes hard to put up with (his words, you'd never believe that). His dear girlfriend is a saving grace at the end of the day when he kicks off his shoes at the door and heaves a big sigh, scratching his hair as he slides off his jacket and misses the bannister when he throws it onto the wood cornering the stairway.
He is too good at the centre of it all. You don't and have never felt at all ashamed of being his girlfriend, or his girl, or anything,
and the snickers don't bother you when you know who he really is and what he really means. People have always chosen to see exactly what they want to, why would this be any different?
But you can't lie and say the guilt isn't eating you at all, when you provide so little to him in the way of his life. To him, he might not be the Haitani's but to you that's never mattered. You like the simplicity of him, and duplicitous feelings have never been your forte because he's always been so upfront about his feelings for you. He likes you, he loves you, he makes it known all the time and you wonder if you really do enough when he is so forgiving and you're under no illusions that maybe he isn't like the others, but it doesn't mean another woman won't want him if he left you. He's still part of the biggest gang in the country, and you know that counts for something.
It's making you a little sick when you think about it again- the concept of him not caring enough to be pissed off at you when you deserve it, of being so quick to defend you, even when you have done something wrong.
Like today, when you're deliberately being tetchy with him, sketchy and evasive and he's prodding in the gentle way of his to find the root of the issue, and it burns you a little inside when he trails after you- a puppy following an owner- with your discarded jacket in hand, clothes kicked off and left on the floor.
'You going to tell me what's wrong or not?' he says, bending to pick up your shirt as you round the corner to the bedroom. It makes his heart quake inside when he thinks about it. Are you not happy enough with him? Do you not love him? Is he doing something wrong? If so, how can he fix this?
'Mhmmm no, no nothing's wrong,' you say airily, as if nothing is and you miss how his eyebrows crunch towards your back as you slip off the rest of your clothes and pick up your discarded robe from the tower of them on the chair.
And you hate that you're being like this for no reason, or rather a reason you can't discern in any easy way when you know he doesn't deserve this, when he's been more than attentive to you over time. You're lucky in a way few others are. When you meet with friends and they talk on and on about husbands and boyfriends that it sounds like they don't love at all- all the issues, all the nagging that you can't relate to and you curse yourself for ruining what others would kill to have, albeit unintentionally.
'You're being funny.' He folds your clothes and leaves them on the chair, filling a glass of water for you as you both pass the kitchen.
'Funny how?'
'Weird, like you're upset.'
'You think so?'
You hate the evasive game. You hate even more that he can probably see through it so easily. He's always been like that. The other's call him airheaded, but he's never forgotten a thing about you.
'I know so. Can you tell me what's wrong?'
You turn, a look over your shoulder to him in the doorway, fiddling with his hands, a little lost, a little adrift, the worried and anxious tilt of his brows matched by the bite to his lower lip and it aches inside when you know you're the cause, when it hurts because of that fact. You love him, but where is that love meant to go when you have so much of it? When you wonder one day whether he's coming back, whether he's staying or dying in another man's battle, when you know his loss would tear something in you that you could never heal.
Your mouth forms the words before you have time to catch up with it, and it comes off seamlessly when you say 'I'm sorry,' and he frowns in that way he does, his brows pinching, the slight curl of his blond hair framing his cheeks, a strand or two falling over his tattoo away from the fray.
'Huh? What for?' he says, now shutting the door behind him, your glass of water and painkillers for the headaches you get left on the nightstand.
Clockwork.
You're a fish when you open your mouth, close it again and turn wordlessly towards the dresser to pick up a hairbrush, mumbling a "nothing, forget it," that has his ears pricking up, expecting him to take the bait and leave you to sulk on your own, the kicked puppy attitude that you hate you still show even now.
His hip brushes the dresser when he comes up to you now, pulls the hairbrush from your hand with a noise of indignation at the back of your throat, before tossing it onto the bed, your wrists now encircled in his bigger hands, his thumbs finding the dips over your knuckles seamlessly.
"no."
"no?"
"no, it's not nothing, and you can tell me." A beat. "I want you to tell me." 
And your cheeks burn with heat, a fiery ice that licks at your neck when his thumbs come to rest on the incline of your wrists, a knowing look in his eyes with an eyebrow raised. And you avoid his gaze for a moment, settling it on the dresser, on the corner where the paint is chipping and the wood is exposed and he lifts a hand to tilt your head, your chin between his thumb and forefinger, till you stubbornly turn back to him with a pout.
‘Sorry,’ you say, your lip pulled by your teeth, bitten down and reddened, an anxious bite that he presses down on your lip to stop, the edge of his thumb skimming the dip in your chin. 
‘You’re saying it again without telling me what it’s for,’ he says now, hands slipping down to your waist that he pulls till it’s flush with his own. ‘I wanna know what has my Dear girlfriend so sad.’
‘I just feel stupid y’know? I’ve been shitty to you recently, and you haven’t gotten mad at me once, and it makes me feel guilty when you don’t.’
He frowns, a crease to his brows that you resist the urge to smooth over with your fingers. ‘You want me to get mad at you?’
‘Yes! I- well no, but just- don’t you get mad at me?’
‘No, why would I?’
‘Why wouldn’t you? Don’t you love me?’
He shakes his head, incredulous, a stunned and pained expression flitting over the warm apples of his cheeks. ‘Of course I love you, but what does that have to do with anything?’ His grip tightens on your hips, a slow rock and thud against his own as he smooths circles into the slip of skin between your shirt and pants.
‘Well, people get angry at who they love sometimes, and you don’t, so that might mean…’
‘That I don’t love you? Is that what you’re saying?’ he says, the inflection at the end that betrays his hurt, the worried and hushed flash of pain glimmering in his eyes where the reflection of you avoids his gaze. You don’t speak again, opting to stare at the ground, your feet, the one spot on the carpet with the immovable stain that never lifts. 
The silence seems to stretch, a quiet so loud that your ears ring with it, yawning on till he breaks it with a ‘I’m not sure who told you that but they were an idiot.’
Your head snaps up, apprehension and unease creeping along your skin. ‘What do you mean?’
And he laughs somehow, his eyes creasing, the sharp edges of his teeth revealed with the curve of a smile, lowering his head till it rests against yours, the edge of his blond hair tickling your cheek. ‘You’re so silly sometimes y’know?’
‘Huh?’ you say stiffly, a warning bell ringing lightly against your ears, a little ashamed, a little pressured despite yourself, even though you're the one who started it, you're a deer in headlights at the soft easiness of him. Maybe it would be easier if he burned through you, if he bared his fangs and bit straight into you - in the way you know would take a long time to nurse. 
And he laughs harder somehow, a little giggle that provokes your own, a light and hesitant laugh that has you prickling with self consciousness. 'What are you laughing at? What's so funny?' 
'You! You are!' And he raises his hands around your shoulders, a light shake of them as his breath ghosts over your Cupid's now, warm, sweet and scented with the undertone of menthol. You catch the reflection of yourself in the vanity to the side- you're puffy, cheeks puffed out, eyes watery, not your best by any means, especially when you angle in the way that shows the scar on your shoulder - a horrifying sight really, and you lift your cami to hide it , as if you ever can, as if it still matters this many years later.
And he softens, that glimmer in his eyes, a faint click of his tongue before you're pulled- gently still, into the warmth of his chest, your cheek squished against the soft linen of his shirt now creased from the day, your hands somehow instinctively finding purchase on his back where the muscle slips and slides underneath his skin, all sinewy flesh that feels warm and alive under your hands. 
'Y'know…..' he starts, a rumble of his voice that ruminates against your earlobe, one hand coming up to rub at your back, the other still firmly on your hip pulled flush to his. 'Sometimes I do get angry at you, but it never means anything, never changes anything.'
Your voice is a whisper against his skin, your breath curling along the exposed flesh of his arm where your lips skim across now, faint freckles and marks now pressed to your mouth. 'You do?'
'Mhm, sometimes. When you do reckless things, when you don't take care of yourself, when you don't talk about what you like because you don't think you should.' 
A hot fiery ice thunders into your veins and your neck prickles with embarrassment. 'I do that?' 
'You do. It's like you don't think you ought to take up any space, like you feel bad for wanting things.' 
'Oh.' 
'But it doesn't mean I don't love you. You're my girlfriend aren't you? Just because I don't get mad at you doesn't mean I don't love you. It's because I love you that I don't get mad.'
'But other people say-'
He pulls you back, his lips ghosting over your forehead, hands coming to cup at your cheeks, tenderly, the knuckle dusters and rings left forgotten on the bedside table. 'I don't care what people say. Loving you will never make me angry, or mad, or anything like that and whoever told you that was a loser.' 
'But…..' 
'No buts. It's either love you as you are, or lose you all together.' He shrugs, the glint of eyes now pearly and glimmering with a soft rosy shine. 'It seems like an easy choice to make.' 
You look away, a lick of heat making a slow crawl along your neck. 'Oh.' And you move from foot to foot self consciously, a hand coming up to scratch at your neck. You wonder in times like this, whether it bothers him to constantly give you this reassurance that comes so easily and often, when you doubt him and it has you shameful, and you find that he never relents in neverending love. 
Why would he? You're his dear girlfriend and that's the way he likes it.
Happy bday to my darlin' ❤️
Reblogs appreciated!
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