#i really like the final para of this one if you fancy clicking read more ;)

[abattoirstars]

Franchising Without The Union: F1's Strange Administration, or Why Sports Is Inherently Anti-Capitalist.

a psbb long read about the weird structure of F1

As an ecosystem where (in theory) best rise to the top, regardless of money, sports has two options when responding to late capitalism: regulate investment so that performance itself remains the deciding factor OR reduce competition to make sports a safer investment. Open competition creates jeopardy, and the ability to lose, and even more than giga-rich capitalists love to win, they HATE to lose.

The US' response to this is Franchising. Promotion and relegation are removed so that each franchise that buys into the league is guaranteed a spot at the highest level. With no ability to enter/leave the league, (almost) all secondary leagues collapse with the exception of college sports, which is its own separate and strange ecosystem.

At a glance, this looks to be the F1 model. Franchises buy into the limited places in F1 and (theoretically) only leave when they want to, rather than being forced out because of performance. Williams have been bottom of the table for years, but because they don't want to sell their spot they're still there, and might have made something other than the worst car on the grid this year (well done lads). If there's movement between F1 and F2 it's individual drivers, NOT franchises. Rather than Wolves, Southampton, and Leicester getting relegated, Daniel Ricciardo loses his starting spot, and rather than Burnley, Luton, and Sheffield United coming up, Oscar Piastri is released from contract hell onto the grid.

However, what F1 lacks is the surprisingly radical (some would argue Wealth Redistribution) Playing Field Levelling Initiatives of US sports leagues. To make sure owners don't get too antsy and sell up every few years (looking at you Jordan, Midland, Spyker, Force India, Racing Point Force India, Racing Point, Aston Martin), if you're the worst team in the NFL, NBA, NHL, or MLB you get the first draft pick of the following year and, in theory, the best young prospect in the sport. At the very least you get the bargaining power that everyone knows you have the pick of new best young prospects, rather than Max Verstappen being snapped up by the Red Bull ecosystem before he even gets a sniff at F2. If you're the Chicago Bears, a team that went 3-14 last year, you won't have the training staff or the prestige of the Dallas Cowboys, and they can find the money to fill out the salary cap much easier, but they can't outspend you on the salary cap.

F1, however, would never stoop to such evil socialism. Sure, every team works to a $140m development cap, but this doesn't include money towards F1 drivers, reserve or development drivers, or - hilariously - an organisations three highest paid employees. So Red Bull finding $1.8m for "free lunches" doesn't actually matter, the system lets them outspend anyone outside of the top 4 by hundreds of millions anyway. Admittedly, with Red Bull specifically, it gets a bit complicated because they have Adrian Newey, a genuine genius who gives them the sort of advantage you should have in sport, but the extent to which you can point at their success and say 'well done Adrian that's all you' is limited when they can so comprehensibly outspend everyone else.

So this leaves F1 in a strange spot. There's no results-based relegation/promotion but there is constant financial precarity if you're anyone other than Red Bull, Mercedes, Ferrari, and probably McLaren. And when securing funding is based at least partially on results (now that it's slightly harder to just stick a Russian Oligarch's son in your American F1 Team's cockpit and move on with your day), a strange semi-results based relegation emerges from a league that does not want you to be able to compete financially with the big dogs. A league run by people like Mario Isola who think that the correct sporting decisions are the ones that make sure the Best Teams stay Good, the Bad Teams stay Bad, or at the very least Not Good enough that the Best Teams feel safe to keep investing in his tyre company.

Perhaps it's best summed up like this. If you love F1, if you like sport, or if you work at Toro Rosso, Sebastian Vettel winning the 2008 Italian Grand Prix in a second-tier car to become the youngest race winner ever is a highlight of F1's 2000s. If you're anyone with enough money to change the sport, however, it is an aberration, and must never happen again.

[thewilyfoxwrites]

Revelations and Ultimatums:

A Self Para Ft. Dominic Ford

As soon as Damien had received a text from his mother that morning it seemed like a dark cloud was hanging over him as he went through the rest of his day. A family meeting, or dinner as his mother called it, was the last thing he wanted, even on a good day, so the dread that settled into the pit of his stomach was no surprise. It was the fact that it kept growing more and more as the day went on that seemed a little out of the ordinary. Normally anxiety wasn’t a huge issue for him, and when it was, he would just smoke to quell all the feelings coursing through him, but his mother had warned him not to show up to dinner that night high or things would not go well for him. For some reason he felt it wouldn’t go well either way, but he remained sober as he trudged through his classes despite that. 

When he arrived at the Ford mansion that night with his brother in tow his dark cloud grew to twice its size, Damien feeling as if the rain was that much closer to pouring when the sight of his parents made his stomach clench. The two of them were in each other’s arms, his mother gazing up lovingly at his father, and the older twin rolled his eyes as she reached up and brushed a piece of his father’s hair to the side. He couldn’t believe the woman was keeping up the charade that she cared. The doting wife role was getting old to him and Damien was finding it harder and harder to hold his tongue around the two. Noticing her two boys, more specifically Damien’s narrowed eyes, Mrs. Ford smiled sadly before taking a step back from her husband to greet them. The woman moved to hug Dominic and then turned to her oldest only to have Damien side step her and move further into the foyer of the mansion to greet his father, his mother’s sad eyes following him the whole way and brother furrowing his eyebrows as confusion set deep into his chest. 

He knew Dominic had no clue about their mother’s affair, knew that his twin never understood how their mother’s actions had affected Damien’s life so much, and he knew that he was the one who refused to tell Dom but he still seemed to resent the boy for being ignorant to everything going on around them. It wasn’t his brother’s fault that Damien still felt a certain loyalty to the woman and that he also wanted to make sure his brother was protected from the damage he had sustained but Damien couldn’t help the rage that coursed through him at that moment when he noticed the confusion on Dominic’s face.  

He didn’t say much as the family made their way into the formal dining area, the table set up immaculately as servers moved around trying to fill water glasses at their seats before they sat. Damien was eyeing the kitchen door as a wonderful smell drifted through it but soon, he was sat in front of a fancy china plate with all the silverware he could ever ask for on each side. “Didn’t realize our company required such a pristine set up. What’s the occasion? Did someone die?” He saw his mother purse her lips, Dominic rolled his eyes just slightly, and his father sighed before taking a sip of the water that had just been filled as if he were trying to think of what to say. “Actually, Damien, it’s just been so long since we’ve had a family meal that we thought it would be nice to break out your mother’s favorite china. She’s missed you both so much, but school’s been keeping you so busy.” He had to suppress a laugh at the comment, the boy bringing his own water glass to his lips so he could resist the urge to say something sarcastic in response, but the thing that really saved him was Dominic speaking up in his kiss ass voice that grated Damien’s nerves. “Sophomore year’s been pretty intense. I wish we could be around more, but things have been pretty hectic with exams and paper deadlines approaching.” 

Dae had to admit, his brother was pretty good at covering for his ass sometimes. But he could tell by the way that his mother looked at him that his twin hadn’t convinced her much. Small talk continued with Damien adding in his quips and sarcastic comments, until dinner was placed in front of them. Suspicion started to rise when Damien realized it was his favorite meal sitting in front of him and he couldn’t help but ask the question that popped into his mind. “Why…exactly were we asked here tonight?” His mother looked up from her plate after taking a bite of her food, making sure to swallow before answering him so she could keep up her etiquette. “We just wanted to see you boys.” Damien wasn’t buying it though. In all the times he had come home he had never once been asked to not be high since they were certain he would show up like that anyway. That coupled with the strained smiles being sent his way and his favorite meal being served was enough to make him refuse to touch his meal as he narrowed his eyes at his parents. 

“Alright, what’s going on?” He hadn’t even lifted so much as a fork, something his mother took notice of, as the other three members of his family looked up from their plates. Dom, as always, had a mixture of annoyance and confusion on his face whereas his parents gave each other a look that clearly stated Damien was right in thinking that something was up. His father wiped his mouth with a napkin before abandoning his plate as well and turning to look at Damien. “Do you realize your school still sends all of your paperwork to our house? I guess you didn’t change the address when you and Dominic moved out to be closer.” Damien shrugged his shoulders, not entirely sure where this conversation was going and wanting to seem indifferent to it all. But his twin, he noticed, was now chewing a little more slowly as all of Dominic’s attention was now on their father who began to speak again. “We’ve been putting them aside for you since we didn’t want to read your mail but there were too many coming in that said urgent, so we decided to open a few. Did you know you were failing most of your classes?” 

Dominic stopped chewing his last bite immediately, his eyes traveling to Damien and his brows slightly raised. Their mother wasn’t looking at him but at her plate as she continued to eat but Dae could tell she wasn’t pleased. His father just kept staring at him, waiting for an answer. “I…was not aware.” This was a lie, of course. There was no way Dae had missed most of his classes and was still passing, but he wasn’t going to tell them that. But that was when Damien heard the clatter of his mother’s fork as she lost patience with him and started to speak herself, all niceties lost. “Cut the crap, Damien. We called the school, it’s mostly because your attendance is atrocious. What are we even paying for if you’re going to skip every class? You failed most of them last semester too and we stupidly agreed to continue throwing money at a college education that is not being appreciated.”

As she was speaking, Damien had finally started to eat his meal and he thoughtfully chewed on a bite of his food while he tried to think of how to answer this. The table was silent while all of them stared at him, so Damien finally swallowed, sighed, and set his fork down. “I guess I just don’t have a lot of motivation for school anymore. Strangest thing, really, considering how utterly devoted I was freshman year. Wonder what could have changed…” His eyes landed on his mother as the sarcasm came to an end, but it was his father who spoke next, a venom in his voice that Damien hadn’t heard in a long time. “Dammit, Damien, stop blaming your mother for everything that you’re doing wrong. You’re not the one she hurt last year, I am and I’m doing just fine.” 

It was like the air had been sucked out of the room, Damien’s head snapping in his father’s direction when the words clicked. So, he knew…he knew and neither of them had even bothered to talk to Damien about any of what he had seen. They had just decided to keep going on with the perfect family routine and let him feel like he was keeping secrets from everyone. Before he could say anything, his brother cleared his throat and set down his own fork. “What are we even talking about?” Damien continued to stare at his father, not even paying attention to the rest of his family as his mother cleared her throat uncomfortably. His father sighed and looked at Dominic to answer the question that Damien refused to speak about. “Your brother walked in on your mother with my business partner a little less than a year ago. Pretty sure that’s what changed his attitude and started…whatever it is he’s doing.”

Everyone grew silent. Damien’s appetite was completely gone at this point, so he just looked down at his plate as he moved food around on it. He didn’t want to look at his brother to face the thought process he knew was racing through the boy’s mind as he tried to catch up. He definitely didn’t want to look at his mother as he was sure the embarrassment of the whole situation was getting to her now. But he did have a question for his father, an important one at that. “How long have you known?” His voice was softer than he had intended it to be, all the harshness he had intended for his father’s other half being drained quickly to only be left with guilt and sympathy. His brother was quiet still, no doubt in Damien’s mind that he was probably staring at their mother in shock and not sure what he could say. Another sigh from his father broke the silence and Damien heard him answer just as quietly as he had asked. “A couple of months after you found out.”

Again, silence permeated the room and all the family could do was sit in the awkwardness. Anger at this whole situation started to flood Damien and soon words spilled from his mouth without thinking. “So…for more than six months you’ve both let me go on thinking that I was keeping some humongous secret from dad? Do you even realize how guilty I felt about this? How much I hated her for even asking me to keep it from you?” For the first time Damien looked at his mother and noticed that she at least had the grace to look ashamed. There were tears in her eyes while she gazed back at him, Dae noticing that his brother was staring at the table in front of him with that almost dazed look that he was sure mirrored Damien’s the day he had found out about the affair. How had this conversation turned from his grades to this so quickly? 

“Damien…” His father’s voice was still soft. He turned to look at the man, disbelief stilled etched all over his face. “The reason we wanted you both here tonight is because we thought it was time to discuss all of this, and maybe get you into therapy or something to help you try and process all of it.” The boy’s eyes narrowed at the man sitting next to him before he started to look back and forth at both of his parents while the older man continued talking. “We know this has effected every aspect of your life. I mean, you used to be such a good student, you and your brother got along famously, you had a perfectly respectable girlfriend and now…”

“I have a respectable girlfriend now, thank you very much.” Damien heard a scoff come from Dominic which caused the older twin to turn on him, finger pointing threateningly in his brother’s direction. “Screw you, Dominic. I love her and just because you can’t get along with her doesn’t mean you have to shit on her all the time. None of you even know her.” Dominic went to open his mouth to retaliate until their mother put her hand on top of his to stop him. She cleared her throat, clearly trying to make sure the emotions were out of her voice before she spoke up. “Damien, we’re not trying to gang up on you or Lila for that matter. I’m sure she’s lovely. We just don’t want to sit back and watch you throw your life away because of my mistakes. What I did was the worst thing I could have done to this family and I regret that more than you could know. But your father failed to mention that the two of us have been seeing a therapist as well and it’s helped us through this tremendously. We just want you to be okay and we’re suggesting that Dominic go too now that he’s…been privy to my transgressions.”

Shaking his hand, Damien pushed his chair back from the table and made to stand up before his father’s voice, this time with a little more authority, rang through his ears. “Damien, you get up from this table without discussing this and you’re not going to like what comes next.” His anger was telling him to just leave, just walk out the door because what was the worst they could do to him? But a voice in his mind told him to stay seated. His father never really used that tone with him unless he was utterly serious about what he was saying. So he stayed seated, his heated gaze moving from the older man to the two sitting across from him. Dominic was biting his bottom lip, no doubt to keep him from saying something idiotic with all the tension in the room, and his mother looked exasperated. He knew nothing was going as planned for them. 

“This is the deal, Damien. You’re going to start working hard at school again. Your grades are going to get better and you’re going to be attending every class. You’re also going to be attending therapy at least once a week on your own and we’re all going once a week as a family. You and your mother will be talking about what you witnessed even if Dominic and I have to leave for you to do it. We just want our son back to who he was before this whole incident…or at least someone we recognize. And the drugs stop now. That one is non-negotiable.”

Damien sat there staring at his father once again. He wasn’t being given a choice with any of this just like he had no choice but to keep everything a secret before and the boy didn't appreciate it. Biting the skin on the inside of his lip, he gave his father a defiant look. "And if I refuse?" Dominic sighed softly, letting out a breath the boy had been holding seemingly since the secret had been revealed to him only because of the frustration he felt towards his brother at the moment. Their father ran a hand through his hair before shrugging a shoulder. "That one's simple: you'll be cut off. No more money from us, no more fancy apartment or new cars, no more of us paying for your education. Everything will fall on your shoulders, Damien. So you decide what you want to do."

For the second time that night Damien felt like the air was being sucked out of his lungs. He had never once had to live without his father's money and the boy knew he would be completely helpless if it came down to that. Dropping all of his animosity as he realized what his choices were, he slumped down in his chair with his mind racing. Give up his simple life of ease where he didn't have to lift a finger to get anything he wanted or give up his only coping mechanism. His father had him backed into a corner and the man knew it judging by the satisfied look on his face as he started to speak again without waiting for Damien to answer him. "It's settled then. Your first therapy session is tomorrow at four. I checked to make sure it didn't interfere with any of your classes...which, by the way, your professors have agreed to keep letting you attend with the condition that you make up any tests that have been missed so far this semester."

He stayed silent, knowing that there was no fighting any of this. There was no way Damien would survive in the real world where he had to pay for everything so the only choice he had in the matter was to do whatever his father requested. Staring down at his plate, Damien let his mind race while his twin brought up the affair again, obviously wanting some questions answered. Dae didn't hear them though. He was too busy thinking about everything he was about to give up and about the girl that was currently lying in his bed at home. What was he going to tell her? Obviously she wouldn't be able to bring drugs into his house again and that was their favorite past time together. All he could do was hope that these changes wouldn't rock his world enough to send Lila packing. Their love could survive this...right?

[jordanmu]

BABY, I’M YOURS ⇻  AULEX.

TAGGING: Alexander Montgomery, Autumn Rose and mentions of Riley Rose.

LOCATION: The Sheraton Mesa Hotel at Wrigleyville West. Mesa, Arizona.

TIMEFRAME: 2/14, late evening.

WARNINGS: NSFW. 

NOTES: Long af. Finished Discord para; After their Valentine’s Day dinner, Autumn and Alex have to be a little sneaky in order to have sex.

AUTUMN ROSE

If anyone could make Autumn Rose feel like a princess for a night, it was Alexander Montgomery. After everything the two of them had been through, he still had a knack for making her feel as if she was the most important person in the world (to him). Not only did he make Autumn feel like this, but her daughter was able to feel like a princess for a night. It’d been a lovely night for the three of them, and all Autumn wanted to do was show Alex exactly how grateful she was. She wanted to kiss him for hours, until her lips were swollen and she couldn’t breathe anymore. Even though she knew she should address the hurt she’d been through, she couldn’t help but just focus on how in love with Alex she still was and would always be. It was almost midnight and in true Riley Rose fashion, she was very much awake and talkative. Autumn had somehow convinced her to stay in ‘her room’ and let her and Alex have privacy, with promising her she could stay up as long as she wanted to. Autumn knew she wouldn’t last long, so she happily walked back towards her own room, smiling softly at Alex because they were finally alone. She didn’t necessarily trust Riley to stay put, so she didn’t immediately go and jump on top of Alex like she wanted to. Instead, she kissed him softly, and then rest her forehead against his. “Thank you so much for today. I somehow convinced her to stay put, but I don’t know how long that’ll last.”

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

For the past six years, Valentine's Day had been a chore for Alexander. At first, he'd been single and had used it as an excuse to hook up with random single girls at clubs. When he started dating and subsequently married Sam, he only celebrated it because she wanted to - every reservation, every bouquet of flowers (never roses), every generic necklace he got her, it was out of obligation. That's what one did for their significant other, right? That's what Valentine's Day was about. Yet, this was the first Valentine's Day he actually cared about - one with Autumn and Riley in Phoenix, of all places. They'd all dressed up and gone to a fancy restaurant, celebrating as if they were a family, and he enjoyed every second of it. It didn't matter that it hadn't been just him and Autumn. In fact, he welcomed that Riley was there too. She was the most important part of Autumn's life, and Alexander wanted both of them to know that she was important to him too. He didn't realize, though, that she had a knack of staying up way past her bedtime and even though he wanted to chuckle at that, he knew that it would be counterintuitive and would earn him a glare from Autumn. And so, as Autumn led her to the other bedroom, Alexander stayed behind, shrugging off his button up before hastily putting on a t-shirt then taking Autumn's present from his duffle bag. While not the best place to carry it, it was still the most practical. "Thank you for wantin' to spend today with me" he murmured against her lips as he kissed her again, chuckling quietly before pressing his lips against hers one more time. "I got you something" he whispered, pulling away in order to grab the jewelry box from the bedside table then handing the long, velvet box to her, "don't say that I shouldn't have bought you anything. I wanted to. Go 'head. Open it." Inside, there was a rose gold pendant necklace, with a simple, yet beautiful diamond... and there was no way he was going to tell her how much it cost.

AUTUMN ROSE

“Of course I wanted to spend today with you,” Autumn told him, her tone matter-of-fact. There wasn’t anyone else in the world she’d rather spend Valentine’s Day with, and she felt so lucky that she was finally able to after six too long years. She kissed him back, enjoying their casual and quick kisses, secretly loving the fact that it was becoming their normal, even though she shouldn’t. She got distracted by her thoughts when she saw the necklace, gasping softly as she took it out of the box. “It’s gorgeous, Alexander,” she murmured, looking at it for a moment before her eyes flickered back up to him. “Will you help me put it on?” She stood up and immediately pulled her hair up into a ponytail, making sure to get everything out of the way. Autumn was still in her dress from dinner, and she was sure the necklace would look amazing with it. After he helped put it on her, Autumn looked in the mirror and couldn’t help but smile. Most times, she never really felt beautiful. But with the way Alex was looking at her, she couldn’t help but believe it too. She blushed and turned back towards him, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. “Thank you so much. I.. I didn’t get you anything, but I did draw you something.” She walked over towards her book bag, pulling out a page from one of her sketchbooks. It was a simple sketch of Autumn and Alex, but was dated with Valentine’s day six years ago with them kissing cuddled up on his couch. Our last Valentine’s, it read, and underneath it said, to many more. She handed it to him, shrugging. “It’s not much, but I figured I could give it to you today.”

ALEXANDER MONGOMERY

Alexander let out a breath as he looked at Autumn wearing the dress he'd gotten for her along with the necklace, a low whistle escaping his lips as he saw how beautiful she looked - breathtaking, really. Even though he wanted to say something along the lines of wanting to rip off the dress off of her, he stayed quiet, kissing her back just as softly before she pulled away to get something for him. The fact that she'd been drawing lately meant the world to him, even more so that she was sharing her art with him again and going out of her way to make something for him. To Alexander, it meant that she was slowly on her way to being herself again - that, more than anything, was the biggest gift she could give him. "To many more" he read with a smile, nodding and leaning in to kiss her again, murmuring against her lips about how much he loved her sketch. "You're amazing" he whispered as he pulled away, looking at the sketch and smiling again, "you even got the stubble down, huh?" He ran his fingers along his jaw, glad that he'd shaved earlier - he had a feeling she wasn't the biggest fan of his full beard. "You tellin' me I should shave more often?" he asked, smirking at her, "Hm. You tellin' me you like the feel of my stubble when I'm between your legs?"

AUTUMN ROSE

"Thank you," Autumn whispered back when he told her that she was amazing, feeling as if wild butterflies were attacking the inside of her stomach. No matter how long the two of them knew each other, it felt like Alex would always make her just a little bit nervous. She had just recently gotten back into art, and the fact that he appreciated her work so much meant everything to her. Especially because he was one of the reasons her muse slowly started to come back. It wasn't what it used to be, but Autumn was working hard to finally get it back. She was shaken out of her thoughts when he mentioned his stubble, watching his fingers intently as they danced along the skin of his jawline. Autumn had been grateful that Alex shaved for the night, and she felt her cheeks grow warmer when he mentioned him in between her legs. She let out a breathy sigh, not being able to take her mind off of what he just said -- him, in between her legs. "Stop it," Autumn chuckled nervously, wrapping her arms around his neck and reaching up to kiss him, hoping Riley wouldn't barge in anytime soon.

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

"You stop thinkin' about me between your legs" Alexander countered with a shake of his head, giving her a look that let her know that he was certain that's what she was thinking about given the pink tint of her cheeks. "Besides... we can't have none of that right now, babe. Who knows if Riley's sleepin' or if she's gonna wanna come in and chill with us instead." As he spoke, he kissed her neck and traced the necklace with his index finger, loving the fact that she was wearing something he'd given her. He'd always spoiled her, sure, but this was different. Now it was different. Before, he wasn't sure whether he wanted to make it official, citing wanting to be a single college guy but, really, believing that he wasn't good enough for a girl like her. Now? Now he knew that no matter the hardships or his insecurities, he wanted to be with her. "We shouldn't be doin' this" he whispered against her skin then pulled away, looking at her innocently though there was a hint of a mischievous glint in his eye. "We gotta be angels tonight, babe."

AUTUMN ROSE

Autumn couldn’t help but frown when Alex told her that they couldn’t do anything right now because of Riley, but was soon distracted by the way he was kissing her neck. It clicked almost immediately that he was teasing her, and she let out a breathy chuckled when he told her they needed to be angels. “No, no teasing,” Autumn whispered, feeling like she needed to be extra quiet just in case. Even though it was possibly for Riley to walk in at any moment, all Autumn knew was that she wanted Alex. “It’s Valentine’s Day, and I want you..” She trailed off, blushing simply because she said she wanted him. Alex was well aware that she was bad at making the first move and getting things going, so his teasing was a way to just have her wanting more and more. “I just want to kiss you right now,” Autumn told him quietly, pressing her body flush against him. Her dress was a little tight but she loved it, especially because she could still his hands against her through the fabric. She looked up at him through her eyelashes, forgetting about the world around them. “It’s Valentine’s Day and I want you to kiss me.”

ALEXANDER MONTOMGERY

Alexander loved that she was taking control of the situation, telling him - and showing him - what she wanted. While she'd always had a little difficulty with that, he knew that when she wanted something, even if she was embarrassed to say it, she would end up voicing it out of frustration. "I wanna kiss you too" he replied in a voice short of a whisper, his hands finding her hips as their bodies pressed impossibly close together; his fingers gently gripped her there as she looked up at him, her blue eyes shining up at him. "It's Valentine's Day and I'm gonna give you what you want" he said as he leaned in, his left hand traveling up her body so he could cup her cheek, "but let's be real..." he trailed off, his lips brushing against hers for a moment before he continued, "it ain't just today. It's tomorrow. It's the day after that. It's... for however long you want me." He didn't let her reply to that, wanting to delay that talk about the future for a little while longer. Not today. Today, he was going to give her what she wanted. Closing his eyes as he pressed his lips against hers, he tangled his hand in her hair and deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against hers. 'I love you' he wanted to say, as he'd been wanting to say to make up for the times he didn't say it, but he kept quiet instead as he led them to the bed. "Lay down" he whispered against her lips, knowing they'd have to break the kiss for a second, but also knowing being in bed would make it so much better.

AUTUMN ROSE

Any thoughts of Riley possibly showing up in the middle of them kissing disappeared, and all Autumn could focus on was exactly how much she wanted to kiss him. If she was given the chance, she'd kiss him for hours on end. Just feeling close to him and knowing that he wanted it too was more than enough. Forever how long you want me, he'd said, and she knew that they should talk about what was happening between them, but right now those things weren't important. They had lost time to make up for, and for Autumn, that was all that mattered in this moment. She couldn't help but moan softly against his mouth, grasping at his shirt to bring him closer to her. She always wanted more from him, no matter how much she got. She nodded when he told her to lay down, admiring him in his clothes for just a moment. He was so incredibly handsome, and she couldn't believe that someone like him wanted someone like her. "Okay," she whispered, turning away from him and walking towards the bed. Please don't wake up, Autumn thought about her daughter as she sat on the edge of the bed, scooting until she finally was laying down. Autumn was nothing if not awkward in these situations, and she couldn't help but smile up at him nervously, her head resting on the pillow. "Is this okay?"

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

"Yeah, baby, this is okay." Alexander was used to this - telling her things were okay and reassuring her that what she was doing wasn't wrong and that she was allowed to do things with him that she otherwise wouldn't. It pained him to know that she'd been in a 'relationship' that made her think she had to think twice about the smallest things. Hopefully, he would be able to help her get out of that mindset eventually. Even though he wanted to take his t-shirt off and tear her dress off of her, he knew that it wouldn't be the most prudent thing to do, especially since they didn't know if Riley was actually asleep or still awake in the other room. "I can't get enough of you" he admitted as he settled between her legs, using his arms to hold himself up as he looked at her, "I could spend the rest of the night kissin' you like this and I wouldn't care. I just... fuck, babe, you know you drive me crazy, right?" Alexander smiled at her before he leaned in to kiss her, a kiss that gradually morphed from gentle to hungry, his hands slowly making their way under her dress. "You gotta be quiet, baby" he whispered against her lips after a moan - was it his? Hers? He wasn't sure. "Can't be too loud."

AUTUMN ROSE

"Okay," Autumn murmured, satisfied with herself when he told her that it was okay. She second guessed herself often, and most of it was thanks to her 'relationship' with Xavier. No matter what, she was under the impression that she wasn't good enough. Alex was good at convincing her otherwise, but some things were harder to shake. Autumn sighed happily when he settled on top of her, her arms wrapping around his neck and bringing him in close, pressing their heads together. The words I love you were right on the tip of her tongue, but she kept quiet instead and listened to his words, coming to terms with the fact that she probably wouldn't stop blushing tonight. She got lost in kissing Alex, loving the way it felt to having him all over her -- his hands, his tongue, his lips, his body. Autumn just wanted more, but the looming thought of her daughter held her somewhat back. Autumn couldn't help but rock her hips forward, trying to create some type of friction between the two of them, needing it. "But you feel so good," Autumn whined quietly, her fingernails dragging over the back of his t-shirt, wanting him as close as possible. "I can't help it."

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

Instead of making another dirty comment in order to make her blush, he moaned quietly as he also moved his hips against hers, glad that he was wearing slacks instead of jeans - he could feel her better like this. "You feel fuckin' amazing" he whispered against her lips, sliding her dress higher until it wasn't really covering her thighs anymore and instead, was pooling by her hips. He slowly dragged his fingers along her legs, hitching one over his waist so he could have a better angle to press himself against her. "You can't be loud" he reminded her before dragging his teeth along her jaw, softly biting down on her skin as he continued to grind his hips against hers, "but you can grab my hair." Another gentle bite. "Or scratch my back." His tongue dragged along her collarbone before he continued, "or bite my shoulder." His hand teased the inside of her thigh, "but you can't moan my name like I know you want to. You can't beg as loud as you usually do. You can't ask for more by all but screaming it. Can you do that?"

AUTUMN ROSE

"Ohmygod," Autumn groaned quietly as she felt Alex pressed up against her. It made her feel dizzy with how much she wanted him, and to feel him straining against his slacks drove her wild. Though she'd never be able to bring herself to do it, she just wanted to rip off their clothes and have him be inside of her. He made her feel desperate, something she wasn't really used to feeling. Autumn knew that she was wet, and she wondered if he could feel it through her panties yet. He was grinding against her and telling her she couldn't make any noise, and even as he talked to her she had to stop herself from saying his name. She pressed her face against the crook of his neck, moaning quietly and nodding as he told her exactly what to do. She preferred that Alex was in control because she trusted him -- and that meant the world. "I'm gonna try.." She whispered, fingers digging into his shoulder as she pushed her hips up to meet his, wanting so badly for there to be less clothes in between them. Just before Autumn could work up the courage to tell Alex exactly that, she was distracted by a shuffling sound outside the door. A giggle was heard from outside the door, and Autumn froze up immediately. Riley. "Mommmmmmmmy," Riley said in a sing-song voice, clearly still very awake. "Can I come in, pease?"

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

While Alexander enjoyed taking his time when it came to Autumn - and he did take his time when he could, praising every inch of her body and telling her that she was beautiful, even though she had never believed him - he knew that this was different. This was filthy and rushed and though he was teasing her, he knew neither of them would be able to hold on for much longer and he'd be taking off her panties soon and unzipping his slacks as well. "Been wantin' to fuck you since you put that dress on" he whispered against her skin, tugging her earlobe between his teeth before adding, "just takin' off your panties and fuckin' you hard and rough, just the way you like it." She was wet, he could feel it, and it only made him want her more. Because of that, he hadn't heard anything else until Riley's voice came from outside the door, asking if she could come in. "Fuck" he cursed under his breath, all but jumping off of Autumn and trying to catch his breath as he ran his hands through his hair, eyes wide as he looked at her. "I should go to the bathroom. I know you're just as horny as I am, but..." he cleared his throat, motioning toward his crotch - the problem was that for him, it was visible. He couldn't help but laugh at their predicament, getting up and fixing her hair and wiping her lips with his thumb until she was decent before heading to the bathroom. "Guess we should get used to this, huh? Ain't gonna be the last time this is gonna happen." It was a promise of a future between them, in a way - where Riley was present and they had to scramble to find a way to act as if nothing was happening. He was okay with that, though. Any future with them was the kind of future he wanted. "I'll come out in a little bit, when I've calmed down. I promise to make it up to you later."

AUTUMN ROSE

Autumn couldn’t help but erupt into a fit of giggles at the look of surprise on Alex’s face, and even more so when he pointed at his crotch as a reason to why he was making his way to the bathroom. She nodded, leaning forward and giving him a gentle kiss. She was still trying to catch her breath, and she pushed herself off of the bed and tried to regain some normalcy before she talked to her daughter. She tugged at her dress and straightened it out, winking over at Alex as she made her way towards the door. “Honey bun,” Autumn sighed as she opened up the door to see a very awake Riley. The young girl looked around the room for Alex quietly, furrowing her brows when she couldn’t find him. She turned towards her mother, and though Autumn knew that she wanted to find Alex, she needed to put her foot down. Autumn grabbed her hand and started leading her back to bedroom, even though Alex was willing to wait things out for Riley. She gave her a speech on how she needed to be a big girl and go to sleep, but ended up dealing with a crying Riley instead. “But I don’t want to go to sleep,” Riley cried, sitting on the edge of the bed with her arms crossed across her chest. Autumn sighed, she disliked having to do things like this. She was never really good at telling her no.

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY 

Alexander knew Riley was looking for him, but he couldn't go out there yet. While he waited, he thought of every little thing that wasn't Autumn underneath him, wet as her body writhed and squirmed, wanting more - sad shit, seeing old people naked, baseball, how bad New York City smells. After a while, his breath had significantly evened out and the evidence of what he and Autumn had been doing was long gone. He furrowed his brows as he got out of the bathroom and heard Riley crying, pursing his lips at the sound; the last thing he wanted was to hear either of them sad. "Hey" he whispered, gently knocking on the door and letting himself in, making his way to the bed and giving Riley a hug. Alexander soothed her by softly rubbing her back for a moment then looked around the room to see if she had any books laying around after she'd pulled away from him.  Although he wanted to tell Riley about their plans for the weekend, he was sure it would sound like a bribe and that was the last thing Autumn needed to have on her hands. "How 'bout we read you somethin'? You think you can try and sleep after we read you one of your favorite stories?"

AUTUMN ROSE

“Look at that.. Alex’s so sweet, isn’t he?” Autumn said softly, loving the way he acted with Riley. Without being prompted, the younger girl immediately wrapped her arms around Alex and climbed over to him, forcing him to hold her and cuddle her. She chuckled, loving the sight of seeing the two of them together. Riley was still crying, talking to Alex about how sleep didn’t sound fun, while Autumn searched for books in the bag she’d brought for Riley. She found a couple of books and gently put them on the bed so she wouldn’t disturb them, and made her way over and sat down next to them. Riley was finally done crying, and by the time that Autumn good look at her she could tell that a sudden wave of exhaustion hit her. “Actually, I have a better idea. You’re such a big girl, right? How about you read by yourself and then go to sleep? I want you to impress mommy by showing me how much of a big girl you can be.” Riley nodded, still pouting, and climbed out of Alex’s arms. “Okay, mommy.” Autumn tucked her in, telling Riley the whole time how she was so proud of her for being big a big girl. Usually, her daughter would get exhausted after crying, and it seemed like Riley was suddenly too tired to even pick up the book. After Alex said good night, they made their way out of the room and Autumn closed the door behind them, chuckling quietly. “Oh my gosh. That just happened.”

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

Although both he and Autumn had known that Riley interrupting them was a possibility, it had still been a surprise to him - mostly because he'd been so into it that her little voice didn't register until it was a second too late. Nevertheless, he thought she was absolutely adorable and made sure to help Autumn get her to sleep. It wasn't even because he wanted to get back to it, but rather because he wanted to help Autumn; she'd had to do this on her own for the longest time and had only recently been able to get help from her mother and sisters - it was about time she knew she could count on him to help with Riley too. Once Riley had cried herself into exhaustion, they finally were able to bid her good night and head back to the room. Alexander couldn't help but chuckle as Autumn was, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug from behind then kissing her temple. "Is this what parents gotta go through when they're tryin'a get it in?" He murmured, resting his chin on her shoulder, still hugging her from behind. "I could get used to that..." he mused quietly, trailing off and not realizing what he'd just said - it was normal to him to talk about the future, "we could get creative."

AUTUMN ROSE

Autumn couldn't help but focus on the fact that Alex had referred to them as parents, smiling softly as she realized how much he had already fallen in love with Riley. Ever since she gave birth to her, Riley had been Autumn's number one priority. It seemed as if Alex understood this and did everything he could to make sure that the two of them were happy and content. Instead of commenting on what he had said, she nodded and kissed him on the tip of his nose, happy to think about a future with them. It was easier to forgive him when she realized that he envisioned a future with the three of them. "Creative?" She quirked an eyebrow, giggling as she led Alex back towards her own bedroom. Even though Riley had fallen asleep, there was no promising that she would stay asleep. After she closed the door behind them, she turned towards him and gave him a nervous smile. She could still feel that her panties were soaked, and remembered what it felt like to have him pressed up against her so perfectly. "What're your ideas?"

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

Just because the effect she had on him wasn't visible anymore, didn't mean Alexander didn't want her anymore - in fact, it was quite the opposite. Ever since they met, he ended up going back to her for many reasons, even when he was an asshole and said he wanted to sleep around. The main one, though? His feelings for her. She had always been and would always be the best he ever had. "Someone can't get enough of me" he teased, picking her up in one swift move and leading her to the bed. While Riley was currently asleep, he was sure that it didn't mean she'd sleep through the night - and he was okay with that. Like he said, they would just have to find a way to be creative. "First of all..." he trailed off, gently laying her down on the bed, "we ain't gonna be gettin' undressed. It's gonna be rough, filthy and quick and you're gonna have to be quiet. I gave you ideas. S'up to you know how you're gonna keep yourself from screamin' my name."

AUTUMN ROSE

"I can't help it," Autumn giggled shyly when Alex mentioned she couldn't get enough of him, letting out a small squeak in surprise as he scooped her up in his arms. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him, not even as he laid her down on the bed. He didn't even have to touch her or kiss her, and she felt her panties grow increasingly wet -- almost to the point of of being uncomfortable. She squirmed underneath him, feeling overwhelmingly hot as he continued to talk. It was almost like the whole thing with Riley hadn't happened, and he could just as easily have her head spinning in mere moments. "Oh, God," Autumn whispered, feeling somewhat desperate to have him right now. "Okay, I can do that. I can do that if it means I get you.." She trailed off, her thumbs hooking into his belt loops as she tugged him closer, blue eyes staring up at him, and she knew that he could see how much she wanted him. She wanted to voice it, anyway. "Alex.." She started, biting her lip as he eyes flickered down to his lips. "I want you so bad, please.."

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

The intensity in her eyes was driving Alexander wild, the way she was looking at him told him all he needed to know; she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. While he was the one who told Autumn that she needed to be quiet, he had to remind himself as well that Riley was in the other room and he couldn't be as vocal as he usually was. He would also have to focus his energy elsewhere - perhaps by leaving marks all over her chest. "You're always gonna get me, baby" he whispered, the words coming out a little more vulnerable and soft than he meant them to, but he was making sure that she knew his promise for the future was one he intended to keep. When Autumn begged, he was pretty much a goner and he hastily pulled up her dress as he had before so it could pool at her waist. He quickly pulled her underwear off of her, maneuvering it off of her legs as well and throwing it on the floor as he once again settled between her legs. His fingers teased her, a deep but quiet groan rumbling in his chest as he noticed how wet she was for him. "For me?" he asked, continuing to tease her before slowly sliding his index finger inside of her. "You want me that bad, huh? Tell me. C'mon, baby. Tell me what you want."

AUTUMN ROSE

Something about having to keep her clothes on made the whole thing much better to Autumn, and she couldn’t help but love the way he discarded of her underwear so quickly, looking at her as if he wanted to devour her. Her back arched slightly when she felt Alex’s fingers teasing her for a moment, and a gasp got caught in her throat. She opened her mouth to tell him that yes, it was for him, but cut herself off with a quiet moan as she felt his finger inside of her. “Ohmygod,” Autumn mumbled, her hips thrusting upwards, wanting and needing more of him. Feeling these types of things were overwhelming for her, and she was never entirely sure if she was doing it right. When she was with Alex, she tried her hardest to just.. be, and say what she wants. Which is exactly what Alex wanted her to say. “You, you.. I want you,” Autumn stuttered in her words, her fingers digging into his shoulder just a bit, craving something else. “I just want.. everything with you. I just want you...” Autumn swallowed, gathering up the courage to look him in the eyes as she said it, “I want you inside of me.”

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

As Autumn told him that she wanted him, Alexander curled his finger just right, smirking as he felt her fingers digging into his shoulder as she tried to be quiet and also tried to get more from him. There was something pretty damn thrilling about having to do this while still fully clothed, and even more so knowing that they had to be quiet and make minimal noise. When she murmured exactly what she wanted, he let out a deep breath and leaned his forehead against hers, continuing to work his finger and eventually adding another. "Back pocket" he whispered, hoping she could reach "I got my wallet there. Just look for a... fuck, babe, you're so wet - should be a condom there." What? He was prepared in case she wanted to have a little fun with him after dinner. "I love you" he whispered, the words barely audible as he groaned a little louder than he meant to, his fingers teasing her and driving him insane as well in the process.

AUTUMN ROSE

Even though plenty of years had passed, it seemed as if Alex still knew exactly what to do in order to drive Autumn wild. He moved his fingers just right, pressing up perfectly inside of her and while it felt nice, she craved a lot more than just his fingers. She bit down on his shoulder gently as she held in a groan, rocking her hips up rhythmically to meet the thrust of his fingers. It seemed as if Alex felt just as overwhelmed as Autumn as he stuttered on his words, but she understood one thing -- there was a condom in his wallet that was in his back pocket. The fact that he'd brought one along made her blush and she leaned forward and reached around, fishing for his wallet in his back pocket. She grabbed it, looking up at him nervously as she took the condom out of the wallet. She set it on the bedside table and then handed it to Alex, giving him a shy smile and kissing him softly. "Please, baby."

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

Though Alexander enjoyed taking his time with Autumn - he knew Xavier had never actually wanted her and sex between them had been for his pleasure only - so he could praise and kiss every inch of her body, constantly telling her that she was beautiful, they both knew that it wouldn’t be the case tonight. He couldn’t keep teasing her and definitely couldn’t spend half an hour going down on her, making her come undone with his tongue. The last thing they needed tonight, on Valentine’s Day, was to be interrupted. Though he hated to remove his fingers, he did just that, maintaining eye contact with Autumn as he licked them clean, giving her a wink before he unbuttoned and unzipped his slacks and quickly grabbed the condom. Even though experienced, he still fumbled around with it, finally rolling it on himself and looking into her eyes as he hitched her leg on his hips, his own body angling in a way he knew would make her crazy. Alexander cursed as he slowly pushed inside, his lips crashing into hers as he tried to swallow their moans in a deep and hungry kiss. Fast. Rough. He had to remember that as he started to move his hips.

AUTUMN ROSE

Even though Autumn and Alex usually took their time when they were together, tonight was different. It was rushed, rough and sloppy -- and she loved every single second of it. Any moment that she could be with Alex like this was perfect, and all she could do was watch him with wide curious eyes before he pushed himself inside of her. She wanted to scream out his name and tell him exactly how good it felt, but instead she buried her face against his neck. She moaned out his name, finger nails digging into his back as he thrust into her perfectly. She couldn't even find the correct words, knowing that this needed to be quick and they didn't have a lot of time. He kissed her, and she couldn't help but moan against his mouth, her hips meeting his every single time. She bit on his bottom lip hard, distracting herself from how good it felt and how perfect his thrusts were. "You feel so good," Autumn managed, her voice hoarse and thick with want. Her fingers thread in his hair, tugging at the hair as his fast pace continued, just needing him close.

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

To Alexander, it was difficult to maintain a steady rhythm - it was sloppy and rough, their hips meeting halfway as they both tried to find the perfect angle, which wasn't hard. They'd always had great sexual chemistry once Autumn had let go of her inhibitions. When she was lost in the moment, deep in the thralls of euphoria and pleasure, she was more bold and often told him exactly what she wanted. Even after all the time that they'd lost, they were still a perfect match both between the sheets and out. They knew each other's bodies, knew what felt good to them both, knew what the other needed to hear to drive them mad. Tonight wasn't any different. They were both doing things to drive the other crazy, keeping their moans and pleads quiet as they continued to meet each other halfway. Even though he was sure he'd ripped her dress, he'd roughly pulled it down by her chest, needing to elicit a moan from her as he flicked his tongue on her nipple. He was teetering on the edge, but wasn't there yet, his lips finding as much of her skin as he could and marking her as his all over. He could feel her hands on his hair or shoulders, her breath against his ear; she was leaving her mark on him as well and he knew he would feel the effects of her attempts at keeping quiet well into their trip. "Bite me" he whispered, his forehead against her collarbone, their sweat mingling together as they continued their pace, "scratch me. I don't care. Do what you want to me."

AUTUMN ROSE

"I love you," Autumn whispered in the middle of the thrusting and groaning, feeling closer to him than ever. No matter how rushed this was, she felt a strong connection to him in every sense of the word. It was as if her skin was on fire wherever he touched her, leaving his mark as he nibbled on her skin when it felt too damn good. Autumn did everything in her willpower to bring him closer -- wrapping her legs around him as tight as possible, tugging his hair, thrusting her hips up to meet his every single time -- and it never felt like enough. She kept teetering on the edge of bliss but held off, wanting to finish at the exact same time that Alex did. This was dirty and beautiful all at the same time, and when Alex had told Autumn to bite him, she couldn't help but oblige. She tugged his head down roughly, nibbling on his earlobe before sinking her teeth into the crook of her neck, her moans being muffled by his skin. It felt as if her legs were shaking, but she didn't care. All she wanted was to get right on the edge with Alex, riding it out with him. She dragged her fingernails down his back, and even though his clothes were still on, she knew that she was making a mark and she was more than happy to do so. A few more painstakingly perfect thrusts, and Autumn felt like a goner, and she moaned much louder than she meant to. "I'm.. I'm close. I want you to come with me, baby, please.." Autumn was panting, lips red and swollen as she looked up at him, cupping his face in her palm. "Come with me, Alex."

ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY

Perhaps Alexander didn't know what life would bring him in the future, and he wasn't sure he even wanted to know what was ahead and instead wanted to face it head on whenever it happened. But when Autumn told him she loved him, even in the middle of raunchy, filthy sex, he knew that that was something - perhaps the one thing - he really wanted. For the longest time, he'd believed that baseball was his first love, but Autumn was his true love. "I love you too, baby girl" he whispered against her lips, knowing that they were both close and loving the fact that they were connected even then. While he knew that Autumn needed a little push, he enjoyed that she took his advice and started biting him, scratching him, leaving marks all over him for him to remember her later. He didn't care if they were visible and didn't care if the guys would see and give him grief for it for the rest of camp. As they both almost reached their peak, Alexander and Autumn had almost forgotten that they were supposed to be quiet. They groaned loudly, Alexander even more so when she was begging for him to come for her, blue eyes pleading for them to both come undone together. He nodded, whispering that he loved her before he finally let go, looking into her eyes as he did so. It was intimate - a lot more intimate than fucking in their dress clothes should've been - but it was them. They'd always been connected. Again, he told her that he loved her, kissing her softly as he came down from his high.

AUTUMN ROSE

Even in the midst of raunchy sex like this, things with Autumn and Alex had felt intense. She kept her eyes trained on him as they came undone together, muttering that she loved him over and over again. She rode out the orgasm happily, kissing all over his cheek and down to his neck. Autumn felt the buzzing all over her body, loving the way he felt inside of her even afterwards. She stared up at him, chest heaving, not being able really say anything. She was completely speechless. As she finally felt the last bit of her intense orgasm, she fell back against the bed and let out a happy chuckle. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt something like that, and of course it was all thanks to Alex. She kissed him back sloppily, feeling out of it and drunk on the way she felt with him on top of her. She pressed her forehead against Alex’s, listening his labored breaths as well. “That was..” Autumn started, still not completely there. “Wow.”

[rum-and-shattered-dreams]

Chapter 12: Finding Help

Summary:

Stan awakens in Ford's recovery room and gains some comforting knowledge. Later, he speaks to Dr. Braum about a medication that could potentially help Ford get some restful sleep.

Notes: Somewhat of a more hopeful chapter this time...

Warnings: Discussion of surgery, eye trauma, surgical trauma (as usual, nothing graphic but warning just in case.)

Look! There's more art! by the wonderful @cthulhu-of-the-night

Also, thanks to Energywitch for the idea of prescribing a medication that could provide dreamless sleep. (And for ideas for things that they've tried over the years.)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven (with illustration) Part Eight Part Nine (With link to more art!) Part Ten Part Eleven More fics An illustration (from part one) "Huh?  Wuzzat?  No.  No refunds."  Stan sputtered, his head slumping down.  His fez tumbled to the floor as his elbow slipped off the padded armrest of a chair that was not his.  His muscles were stiff against its rigid back and his shoulders tense and sore.  He blinked in the dim light, taking a moment to register the beeps behind him, the breaths beside, and the odorous assault of antiseptics.  He remembered listening to Ford, writing out notes for him, then... He guessed, from the look of the notebook laying open on the floor, he must have fallen asleep. A jolt flashed through him, his heart skipping a beat as he scrambled into an upright position.  He scrunched up his coat sleeve and squinted at the gold watch Ford had convinced him to buy a decade ago if only to symbolically rub it into their father's face. 5 am.  Phew.  Plenty of time before the Shack opens...  He thought.  Except...  He turned to the bed where his brother still slept.  His glasses lifted to his forehead as he massaged the sleep out of the corners of his eyes.  "I can't just leave you here like this," he muttered. "Stanley?"  Ford slurred, his eye barely open, wriggling his wrists in the restraints as if he didn't have the energy to buck against them.  "What's going on?" "Hey, it's alright, you fell asleep for a bit," Stan answered, his back and knees cracking as he stood.  He hunched forward, waiting for everything to settle before turning to lean over the bed rail.  "You're still in recovery." "Oh.  Right," he breathed, followed by a string of barely decipherable curses. "Ford?" Stan asked with a raised brow, "You alright?  Need me get you anything?" "Sorry, it's just..." he said with downtrodden exhale, clenching and unfurling his tingling fingers, "It's still gone." Stan couldn't find words to reply.  He wanted to say things would be fine, wanted to tell him not to worry but, it would almost be an insult to do so.  He'd need time to grieve his loss and to adjust to everything it affected and implied.  "I'm sorry," He finally said, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder.  "I'm so sorry everything is so shitty right now.  I can only imagine what you must be feeling."     "It was so," He said, squinting up at Stan, silhouetted in the lamplight, "It's still so...  vivid.  I could feel it all, Stanley," Ford rambled, his face paling with the churning of his stomach, "Not pain, thank all the gods in the multiverse, but pressure, poking, and prodding and then-" "Okay, okay.  I get it," Stan said, holding up his hands in surrender.  "I feel like I'm gonna barf as much as you look like you're going to." "I could see everything, hear every word but I couldn't move.  I couldn't speak.  I couldn't tell them!" He paused for a breath, closing his eye for a moment before continuing at a calmer pace, "But, even so, it wasn't...  Completely terrifying.  Dr. Braum was there.  Even without my glasses I could tell it was her.  I could see her hair.  It's unmistakable," He gave a single husky chuckle and added, "I kept thinking, 'I bet Mabel would squeal in delight if she saw this.'" "I bet," Stan added with a half-smile, leaning forward, his arms on the rail and chin resting on them. "And, I could hear her voice more clearly than in everyday life.  It was soft and kind... Reassuring, even.  She was explaining everything as if she knew I needed to hear it, as if she knew I needed to understand what was happening." "Wow.  She didn't tell me that part," Stan said, his brows raised in bewilderment. "And," Ford paused for a deep breath before continuing, "I knew he was there sometimes.  He tried to move my head, tried to move my limbs but...  He couldn't." "Interesting," Stan lifted himself to his elbows, intrigue furrowing his brows, "What was it the doc said about a para...  para...?" "Paralytic?  Yes.  In the anesthesia.  I suppose, if neurological-transmission is suppressed for me, it is for him, too.  Or at least, he may not know how to overcome that obstacle yet," Ford hypothesized, "Doesn't stop him from wreaking havoc in my mindscape, though," he added in a sarcastic huff. "But that means he didn't cause any physical problems, right?"  Stan said, turning to pick up his Fez and the notebook, thinking he'd jot down a note about it.  He knelt down, lifting the chair to reach the What is the Mystery Shack? pen. "Thankfully," Ford answered, awaiting his brother's reappearance at the bedside rail. Stan's hand grasped the edge, using it to lift himself back to his feet.  He adjusted the fez over his matted hair and turned to a blank page in the notebook.  After scribbling out Ford's hypothesis, he flipped back to the passage Ford had dictated the night before and reread the last few words, trying to remind himself what had happened before he’d fallen asleep. "Hey," he said, "Looks like you fell asleep mid-thought here in your novel notes.  Want to tell me the rest?" "Oh?  I don't really remember.  If it's not too much trouble, could you read back what we have so far?" Ford asked.  "Actually...  I'm sorry to bother but...  My mouth tastes like a sewer right now.  Can I-?" "Yeah!  Of course," Stan answered. He set the notebook on the chair and grabbed a styrofoam cup, complete with lid and straw, from the rolling table.  He filled it at the wash station and scooped a few handfuls of water into his own mouth, swishing and gargling to clear out his own sewage-flavored saliva.  Meanwhile, Ford found the button to lift the back of his bed into an almost upright position. After Ford thanked him, Stan eased himself back into the chair and read the short passage back to him. "Ah right," Ford said. "You remember that part?"  Stan asked, readying the pen above the paper's green lines. "Yes." "Soooo," he prompted, "what's next?" "I have no idea," Ford said with an exasperated sigh. "Oh," Stan's tone mimicked his brother's. "I know this was going somewhere," Ford groused, his blanket crumpling between his clenched fists.  "Somewhere important...  but now I don't remember where." Stan wanted to reassure him that he'd think of it, that he'd remember at some crazy point in the middle of the night, but it was his experience that when Ford forgot something, if Stan, himself, didn't know enough about it to jostle the memory loose, it wasn't going to come back to him.  "Well, you'll figure out something," he finally offered, clicking the pen and tucking it in the breast pocket of his coat along with the notebook. Ford closed his eye for a moment, his head pressed back against his pillow.  He suddenly gasped, his head turning to Stan, eye peeling open as he blurted,  "What time is it?  Don't you need to go?" Stan breathed out, releasing the anxious knot Ford's outburst had tied in his chest.  "No," he answered.  "I don't.  I'll call Soos and have him cancel tours today." "What about Dipper and Mabel?" "They'll be fine with him and Wendy there.  I’ll have her at least open the gift shop," Stan said, crossing his arms as if willing an end to the matter. "No, you should go, Stanley," Ford said, shaking his head, "I'll be alright now that I've gotten some decent rest." "No.  I'm not leaving you here alone, again." The two argued back and forth for nearly five minutes until Ford settled the matter with a point he loathed bringing up, "Can we afford it?" He hated those words.  "We."  He considered.  What a joke.  Like I'm actually contributing anything...  But "you" sounds so...  Accusatory.  He hated it.  He hated that his existence was so expensive.  He hated that the most he could do was try to help Stan brainstorm ideas for the Shack through crayon drawings and finger paint, even if Stan claimed he appreciated it.  If only he could finish that novel.  Or others.  If they were picked up by a publisher, maybe it would help at least a little.  Even though Stan had told him over and over that they're family and being able to be such was more than enough, Ford couldn't help feeling like he wanted to be...  Useful.  Ironic.  It's the same damn feeling that got me into this mess to begin with.  He knew it.  And knowing it only made him feel worse. Stan paused.  He'd barely scraped together enough of their savings to pay off Rico and cover Dr. Braum's initial visit.  As it stood, she'd agreed to reduce the cost to self-pay rates and open a tab for them for what he couldn't cover in medications and surgery costs.  With a sighed succession of curses, he conceded. He stayed another hour, doing all he could to give Ford any shred of comfort then promised he'd be back again once the kids were asleep. **** With a heart as heavy as his feet, Stan slipped out the door to Ford's private room.  He shuffled down the hall, the scent of fresh coffee perking him up.  It seemed early but he supposed not too early for a member or two of the staff to arrive.  A disheveled mop of rainbow hair caught his eye as he passed the nurses station and he paused, uncertain of what to do. Dr. Braum was hunched over the desk, her head resting on her arms and a light snore passing through her lips.  The coffee machine, one of those fancy single service ones, gurgled and dripped, startling her awake. "Oh!  Mr. Pines!  I wasn't sleeping, I swear," she sputtered, nearly knocking over the rolling chair as she jumped up from it, straightening her lab coat and patting her hair as if it would help the tangled mess. "Actually," Stan said with a shrug "I'm surprised your still here.  I thought you would have left when Ford and I fell asleep." "Pfft!  What do you think I am?  A monster?  I would never leave a patient without proper medical care," her cheerful professionalism melted into a perturbed grumble, "even if the rest of my staff was busy tonight."  She readjusted her smile and continued, "Someone had to check his vitals and make sure he got his antibiotics.  Glad you two slept through that," she said with a light laugh.  "The other surgeons will cover for me today so I can go home and get some sleep.  Besides, there's no way I'd leave anyone alone in here.  This business means everything to me."  She reached for the freshly filled coffee cup, held it out to Stan and offered, "coffee?" "Definitely.  Thanks," he took the cup, ignored the cream and sugar on the counter and rushed straight for the first scalding slurp.  "Yeah," he replied, "I get it.  The Mystery Shack is everything to us these days.  But, if this place is so important to you, isn't it risky to help people like Ford and I?"  He leaned against the desk, staring remorsefully at the steam preventing him from downing the entire cup of coffee.  "It can't be easy.  and It can't all be cases involving weird shit like us.  You must deal with some rough clients from people like Rico." "Well," she said, setting up the machine for a cup of coffee for herself, "I do get quite a few patients from the valley who wouldn't otherwise get help simply because of who and what they are.  But, yes, the majority of them are referred to me by people like Rico.  But, you know what?" She said, turning to Stan, "Most of those people never asked for the life they live.  They're just trying to get by in a world where no one else would offer the help they needed." "Yeah," Stan said with a snort, "Damn.  Yeah.  I get that." "Besides," Dr. Braum said with a shrug, "the money's good." "Heh, I like your style, doc," he chuckled, raising his cup to her as a salute.  "Well, thanks," he added, swirling his cup and staring into the inky darkness, "Ford told me how you handled things during his surgery.  Thanks for that.  Seems like it did a lot to help him."  Stan took a deep breath and spoke aloud something he'd rather have kept to himself, "It's been a long time since we've had someone to help." "That's because you're stubborn old men who think you can do everything for yourselves," she said, pointing a finger at him. "I suppose we are these days.  It's just...  hard to keep looking for help when nothing has helped yet." "Well, you call me anytime you need anything, alright?" She said, turning at the gurgle and sputter of the coffee machine.  She lifted her freshly filled cup and returned to the rolling chair.   "Thanks, doc," Stan said, raising his cup for another drink. "There's one more thing I wanted to talk to you about before I head out for the day," She added, setting her cup down and lifting Ford's file.  "Those nightmares your brother has...  I'm sorry for hesitating in prescribing anything for him but, given this," she explained, turning the file to face him and displaying his own handwritten account of medications they'd tried, to what degree they worked, and when they'd stopped.  "I thought," she continued, "it would be best to speak to you first, especially since he was being..." "Difficult?" "...Yes," she answered, flopping the file down and flipping through three pages of data, "This is a rather, um, detailed...  And long...  List of past medications.  I mean, thanks for the spreadsheet and all, it actually does help but...  Wow." "Yeah," Stan said with a sigh, reaching out for a creamer and three packages of sugar to add to his coffee.  "We went through a lot of different medications.  Some made things worse.  Some didn't work at all.  And, when we were lucky, they worked but stopped after about a year or so." "How did you even get all of these?"  She asked, raising her cup for a drink. "If I told you, you'd spit coffee all over me," Stan answered. She swallowed hard and answered, "Alrighty then, I won't pry.  Anyway, thing is," she continued, pointing to characters that weren't of any earthly language, "I don't recognize some of these." "Yeeeeaaaah...." Stan said, taking a long sip of coffee before confessing, "Those are potions." "Should I ask?"  She said with a raised eyebrow. "Probably not." "Right then," she quipped, flipping the folder closed with a smack of her hand on its cover.   "Listen," Stan said, setting his empty cup on the desk. "Ford described it to me once in a way that made a lot of sense.  He said that Bill being in his head is like having an angry toddler who's a fast learner living there.  He makes a mess of things and rearranges them and even breaks things.  But, Ford can pick things up and put them back where they belong to some extent.  When things are broken, though, he needs glue to fix them, like when I can help him remember things by showing him photos and stuff.  When it comes to nightmares, Bill is basically taking out old memories and fears and leaving them all over the floor like Blego Blocks waiting for you to step on them.  When he takes certain medications, it's like being able to put those things on a shelf the toddler can't reach or in a cabinet with a lock.  But, eventually Bill learns how to climb the cabinet or pick the lock and the pills stop working." "I see.  What about the local Shaman?" Dr. Braum suggested, "Perhaps a dreamcatcher?" "I have one that sometimes works since my nightmares aren't 'cause of having a demon in my head."  Stan explained, "Ford's never did work, though.  Apparently Bill once possessed a Shaman and knows all of those secrets already." "Do you think he'd be willing to try a medication that's fairly new to the market?" Dr. Braum asked, "even if it might only provide short-term relief?" "That's entirely up to him," Stan said with a shrug, "if he wants it, I'll pony up for it.  Somehow." "I'll speak to him about it today, then," she said before downing the rest of her coffee. "Thanks.  Now go home and crash, lady.  You look like Ford used to when he got hyper-focused on a science project." "Yeah, like you look any better after sleeping in a chair all night." "Eh," he said with a shrug, "sleep is sleep."

Notes:

Jrrg oxfn jhwwlqj vrph idvw fdvk, Ihc. (Also, Ford’s thoughts regarding his situation stem from his own depression and do not reflect reality.)

[thevioletquinn]

THE MAKING OF A SINNER // SELF PARA

Who: Violetta Quinn/Kozma, Szilveszter Kozma, Lucien Chase What: The night Violet lost her virginity. Where: Caravan home, Casino Security Office, Four Seasons hotel. (Las Vegas) When: Friday 24th October, 2014 Mentions: Dora Kozma, Lily Kozma, Eszter Kozma Trigger Warnings: Underage Sex, Underage drinking, Sexual Abuse, Mentions of Leukemia Word Count: 3,000 (in this essay, i will...)

(Before reading this, please note the trigger warnings as this is a very distressing self paragraph but important as to why Violet is the way she is. It is by no means graphic in those triggers but it is mentioned and insinuated ~ Laura)

Sex. Everyone talked about it at school and many claimed to have done it when they hadn’t. That was the way to seem popular for guys. The guys were saints for how many girls they claimed to have had in their bed while the girls they chose to claim as their bedfellows were to be riddled with words like whore when they had literally done nothing to deserve it. It had always been that way. Violet being a pretty girl, she’d often be claimed by men as theirs and she just took it on the chin because it wasn’t worth the tears. It was just sex. It wasn’t as big of a deal as everyone made it out to be. That’s what she thought anyway while she was still a virgin.

The day after her 15th birthday, a Friday, and it was fair to say Violet was excited. A friend had parents out of town which meant they could host a birthday party for herself at her friend’s house on the Saturday while she claimed her own was under renovation. Violet was an expert at pretending. No one ever knew that she lived in a tiny caravan with her parents and her little sister. Violet painted a picture-perfect life for her and her family. She made it easy for Lily to get on in school without any form of bullying because she was the cool older sister that everyone in Lily’s grade knew about. For now, one more sleep until the party could begin.

Her father was the only one home when she returned since Lily was studying at a friend’s house and her mother was working a shift at the local burger joint. It was a small diner and most of the income from it came from tips she gained as a waitress but she often worked herself to death. Her father had recently been very close to being fired until a proposal came along which changed everything for Violet and her father. “Violetta. Please, sit. I need to speak with you.” He addressed her while his hand gestured for her to sit down on the other part of the couch. The young girl didn’t need to say anything and simply did as she was told. Szilveszter took his time to think about how he was going to phrase his words despite spending the past hour debating the best way to put this idea across to his daughter. It was something no father should have even considered for their daughter but when times were hard...

“Violetta.” Inhale. “I’m going to ask you to do something for the sake of this family and I need you to understand how much good this will do for us – you, your mother, your sister, me – it will change our lives.” Inhale. “My boss. When you came to the casino last weekend to bring me the lunch I forgot, my boss’s son saw you and...” Inhale. “...he was quite taken with you.” Inhale. “He asked how old you were and I may have lied and said you were twenty-one.” Inhale. Sweat on the forehead now dripping down his face. “He wants a date but he’s willing to...” Inhale. Eyes averting to the floor. “...pay for you to spend some time with him. Get cozy with him.” Inhale. Eyes returning to his daughter. “I would have said no but my jobs on the line here and if I lose this job, your mother can’t afford to keep up afloat here. We’d be on the streets. I really need you to do this for us, Violetta.” Eyes pleading now.

Violet sat in silence to try and take in everything that was being thrown at her. “So I just have to spend some time talking to his guy and he pays you some money? That... doesn’t sound disastrously hard?” She questioned, trying to understand. He’d already said yes for her which was clear in his ramblings of the story. Subtle but she caught that. “I can spend time with him. When?”

“Tonight.”  

“Tonight?”  

“Tonight.” Her father resaid. He smiled when he knew he had her on side. It was all coming together. They would finally have some money. “He’s sent some things for you to wear. After this is done, we can sell them. They look awfully expensive. We’ll finally have enough money to live, Violetta. You’re going to do so well. I’m so proud of you.” He kissed her forehead to then stand up and pull the two bags from under the small dining space. “You’ll do great. I’ll take you to work and he said he’d pick you up from the security office. 7o’clock.” Szilveszter left the two bags on the dining room table and with a wave, left to get food before his shift.  

Violetta looked in to the two bags to find a gorgeous red Jessica Rabbit styled dress and a pair of shoes between the two bags with a real ruby necklace to match. It was gorgeous. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad? Stand in a pretty dress, laugh at some rich casino owner’s son’s jokes and leave with a cheque. It sounded simple.

They took the 6:00pm bus from the trailer park to the center of Las Vegas where her father worked security at one of the casinos. A outfit change in the bathrooms and some time spent on make-up to make herself presentable for him left them at 7 o’clock in the security office waiting for the gentleman to arrive. Her father stuffed his hand in to his pocket to retrieve his personal rosary beads and handed them to her. “Good luck.” He told her with a smile but it seemed like there was something more to it. Although Violet couldn’t shake the feeling that her dad knew something she didn’t, she chose to trust him. He was her father, after all! Why wouldn’t she trust him? He had no reason to let harm come her way... right?

A knock tapped against the door and her father walked outside first and closed the door. She could hear muffled voice talking from inside. Something about money and the gentleman saying only after but she could understand that much. If she didn’t do good, no money. Her father walked back inside and held the door for a man with sun-kissed skin and a smile involving his beaming white teeth. Very dark brown hair that could be mistaken for black in some lighting and beautiful blue eyes. He looked like the person you would draw if you pictured a debonair tall dark and handsome gentleman – right down to the cufflinks on his suit. His hand extended out for her to take. “Shall we?”  

Before Violet knew it, she was ushered in to a limo to wind up at the luxurious Four Seasons hotel. A penthouse suite. he’d never been anywhere so fancy. Even when her family had money to make the move to America, they weren’t rich. Not like this. Her eyes sparkled at her surroundings without knowing what to take in first. It was a moment that the gentleman was enjoying watching from the doorway. The way Violet moved around the room slowly to take every inch of the room in before finally stopping at the window to look at all the lights from the casinos and streets. It seemed to go for miles and miles. He joined to her side with his hands behind is back.  

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”  

“Stunning.”

“I feel I should finally introduce myself properly. I’m sure your father mentioned me but it would seem rude of me not to actually formally introduce myself. I’m Lucien. Lucien Chase.” Lucien turned to take her hand, placing a kiss against her knuckle but eyes remaining locked on her face. “It is entirely my pleasure to meet you, Violetta.” The name caught her off guard. Since coming to America, she had always been introduced as Violet with Violetta becoming more of a family name only but she kept the smile on her face.  

“Well, I still believe it is a pleasure to meet you too, Lucien.”

A knock on the door interrupted them but Lucien still held her hand for that brief moment longer to make it last before finally releasing her and walking to the door where a man in a suit but clearly more staff than part of the rich lifestyle entertained with a bucket filled with ice and a bottle of champagne resting inside. On top, a small dish filled with chocolate coated strawberries which were removed from the ice and placed on to the table next to the couch. Once the staff had left, he turned his attention to the bottle of champagne which he promptly opened and poured in to two glasses; one of which was handed to the brunette girl.

“I propose a toast to new friendships and spending time with a beautiful woman who looks gorgeous in a red dress.” He cheered and clinked their glasses together. Violet had drank alcohol before without her parents knowing. Sleepovers at her friends house usually ended up with teenagers raiding their parents liquor cabinets in the night to get drunk. It wasn’t much of a problem but she had never drank a lot before. She’d had, however, never drank champagne before so the taste was something to get used to but she didn’t let it show on her face.

After an hour or so of drinking and laughing at his stories and eating chocolate coated strawberries held by the other, he put his drink to the table and a hand on her leg. “I did buy something else for you to make this evening even more special. I would love for you to try it on for me. It’s in the bathroom.” He suggested but he knew it was more of an instruction for her to follow. The worst part being that her own naivety of the situation had led her to this part and she still didn’t know what was to come.

A box lay on the marble side of the sink with a pretty red ribbon wrapped around it. Curious, the brunette pulled the ribbon until it unwrapped and lifted the lid of box. All colour drained from her rosy cheeks. She wasn’t oblivious to what was inside. She knew lingerie when she saw it. That’s when everything clicked to her. She wasn’t here to laugh at his jokes. Her father had sold her for sex. To please him. She could have walked out right there and then but then she thought about her family. She betted that her mother and sister were entirely unaware of where Violet was tonight and what her father had done to her. They didn’t deserve to be out on the streets – as her father phrased it – because she couldn’t go through with it. Sex. The boys and girls at school who claimed to have had sex always said he was easy. It couldn’t be that difficult to work out, right? One sacrifice and they could have better lives. “Are you okay in there?” His voice pulled her out of her thoughts.  

“Yeah. Sorry, just using the toilet!” She replied. Removing the red dress to drape on the floor, she was working out how to even put the lingerie on to begin with. The bra and pants were easy. Pulling the stockings up without ripping them was a slight hindrance especially with her inebriated state thanks to the champagne. And then the middle section to connect on to the stockings was the most challenging on all. Hearing a knock at the door, Violet sucked in a long breath and wiped the sole tear from her cheek and put on a smile.  

Opening the door, Violet leaned against the doorframe. “So?” She asked, waiting for his opinion. She wanted to try and play like she had at school. Act like she had had sex before. It couldn’t be hard, right? She could see how his jaw dropped as his eyes ate up every inch of her body. She never felt more naked and vulnerable in her life. He didn’t say anything to answer his opinion, he simply moved his hand to her back and pulled her in to a kiss. She’d kissed boys before at school but she still felt insecure about everything she was doing in that moment.  

Lucien didn’t waste a moment to practically carry her to the bed and lay her down. He knelt at her legs and looked down at her. “When your father told me you were a virgin, I couldn’t believe it. A beautiful girl like you must have enticed a man or two to her bed so I ask you, be honest: is this your first time?” He asked while his thumb played at her knee. There were two emotions she felt by that. Relief that she didn’t have to pretend that she had a clue what she was doing in this department. Anger that her father had sold her virginity to a stranger. A man he had probably not met until that moment.

Violet nervously bit her lip and nodded, looking down. He moved to hover over her and moved her head up to look at him with his thumb. “That’s all I needed to know. Gentle and slow. Got it.” He promised and kissed her again. Lucien had been a total gentleman for the entirety of the night – from start to finish – but that didn’t mean she was happy.

Her head turned back to the window while he did everything he possibly could to her body. She’d watch the lights of the casinos. Occasionally she’d try to look for stars in the sky but when he’d change positions so she couldn’t see out of the window anymore, she’d retreat in to her own mind. Her headspace moved to her time in the hospital with Dora. How brave her sister had been throughout her battle with Leukemia. How Dora would tell her to be brave now. To make it to tomorrow because tomorrow was another day. That’s how Dora saw the world. One day at a time. Today’s defeat is tomorrow’s victory. God, she missed Dora. Everything changed when she died. All Violet ever wanted was to help her family through the hardest times in their lives. That’s why she did tonight. For the sake of her family she would make this sacrifice but she would never allow this fate to happen to Lily. This wouldn’t be Lily’s destiny. She’d make sure her father knew how she felt on that matter.  

Her hands moved the covers over her body once he lay next to her, panting and sweaty from this experience. Violet kept her eyes at the ceiling, blinking. Once he collected himself, he poured them both another drink of the champagne which he seemed to down in one. Probably to get back in some fluid after how much had sweated out of him. “You should go to the toilet, by the way. It’s hygienic after sex to flush it out basically.” He explained since he knew she had no idea what to do.

Violet shuffled herself to the toilet and locked the door. Her back rested against the door as her hand moved to cover her mouth. She didn’t want to make a sound while her back slid down the door until she was sat on the floor crying without trying to be heard. Her knees pulled up to her chest. Once she felt stable enough to move again, she finished up in the bathroom and got rid of the makeup that was stained on her cheeks from the crying and made sure she looked back to how she did when she first came in. The girl slinked back in to the red dress and put the lingerie back in to the box.  

Back in to the main room where Lucien lay on the bed, she put on her brightest smile for him. “This has been incredibly fun and I thank you for being such a gentleman for me but I think it’s my time to leave.” Violet told him while walking over to the bed. She leaned down and gave him a kiss.

“You’re forgetting something.” He told her before getting back out of the bed and walking to a briefcase that had been in the room the whole time. He took out an envelope of cash and handed it to her. “The thousand dollars for your father.” Lucien informed her (It was interesting to know just how much Violet was worth to her father). “However, if your father was a smarter man, he definitely should have asked for more money given just how beautiful you are so...” Lucien rifled through some papers until he found his cheque book and wrote out another two thousand dollars for herself. “... that one is for you and you alone.”  

Violet didn’t stick around too much longer but did thank him again before she left. He let his own limo take her back to the casino as she requested and marched back to the security office where her dad was. “Violetta! How did it g-?” He welcomed her but was quickly stopped when she poured the bills out of the bag and on to the floor. Her father was quick to scramble to the floor to pick up the bills which made a cold single laugh escape her chest.

“I hope it was worth it, Dad.”  

Sex. They were right. It wasn’t that hard. Not if you knew how to harness it. Violet did go back and get paid by Lucien numerous times after this. He taught her almost everything she knows about sex and he was essentially her manager during her escort career in Las Vegas. She made sure she wouldn’t ever feel like a victim during sex again. She made sure she could harness all the power she could from this experience.

[bi-apps]

Accepted - James Potter

niceonejxmes

submitted:James Potter app

OOC Information:

Name/Age/Timezone- Becky / 26 / GMT

Activity Level- Please let us know from 1-10 how active you think you will be- 7/8. I work full time, but can be around most evenings and sometimes at the weekend.

Ships/Anti-Ships- These are not a guarantee- James / Lily is a big ship for me, but anything with chemistry and that keeps in line with canon will go. I don’t really have any anti-ships.

Did you read the rules?- Yes

IC Information:

Character Name- James Potter

Age/Birthdate- 18 / 27th March 1960

Faceclaim- Check taken and please include at least 3 options in order of preference- Grant Gustin, Bob Morley, Penn Badgley

Occupation- If left up to player. Click (here) if you need some ideas!- Despite the fact James had always said he wanted to play Quidditch for the professional leagues, and certainly had the talent, he couldn’t bring himself to do that with everything that was going on around them. So instead he applied for the Auror training programme once he finished school in June, and is currently going through it.

Blood Status- Pureblood

Traits- Include at least 3 positive and 3 negative-

Positive:

·         Loyal

·         Passionate

·         Brave

·         Protective

·         Quick witted

Negative:

·         Reckless

·         Hot-headed

·         Stubborn

·         Cocky

Patronus- Click (here) if you need some help!- Stag

Boggart- When James had been younger and they had studied Boggart’s during Defence against the Dark Arts, his boggart had been a spider. Looking back now he feels silly, because whilst he still doesn’t like them, them being his worst and most horrific fear had been childish and immature when there were so many more horrors in their world. It’s been a while since he’s had to face a Boggart, but now he is fairly certain it would come in the form of his friends’ betrayal and losing those that are closest to him.

Key Points- Must include at least 3-

James Potter was born an only child to elderly couple Euphemia and Fleamont. His parents had tried for years to conceive a child, and it was only once they had given up hope of widening their family that they discovered Euphemia was pregnant. Both delighted by the news, they doted on James from the moment he was born, and thus he grew up to be pampered and spoiled, not wanting for a single thing—except for maybe a sibling, which unfortunately was the one thing Euphemia and Fleamont weren’t able to give him.

There was never a moment of doubt in anyone’s mind when it came to James’ magical ability, he had started showing signs from as early an age as two years old. When he was five his father went out and bought him his first broom to get him going with flying—they found that flying often improved his moods and helped him to burn off some of his excess energy, which was something he carried with him into his teenage years.

Both Euphemia and Fleamont were sad to say goodbye to James on 1st September 1971, but James couldn’t  have been more excited—most of his childhood had been spent with predominantly his parents for company, due to their age when they had James none of their friends had children a similar age to their son, and whilst he was very close with both his mum and dad and he loved them to bits, he was looking forward to making some proper friends. He was barely thirty seconds into the train journey before he met Sirius Black, and the two hit it off right away. Bonding over their mutual love of mischief and a proclivity for ridiculousness is what brought them so close, and by the time October of his first year rolled around he couldn’t imagine life at school without his best friend. Eventually they befriended the two other boys they shared a dorm with—Peter Pettigrew, who always seemed quite in awe of James and Sirius, and Remus Lupin, a much quieter boy who’s shell was a little harder to crack. Before long the four of them were inseparable, and James felt like he finally had the brothers he had always wanted when he was growing up.

James was fourteen when Remus had first accused him of fancying Lily Evans; his sandy haired friend had found the whole thing all too amusing as James hastily and insistently denied it, telling Remus he was completely off his rocker and that the only thing he felt for Evans was irritation. Of course he thought she was pretty, with hair so red it seemed impossible, and she could be funny, when she wasn’t hanging around with ol’ Sniv. It wasn’t until he was fifteen that he realised perhaps Remus had been onto something after all, but of course this only served to complicate things as it meant James no longer knew how to act around her. Before, he had enjoyed teasing her—he still enjoyed teasing her, enjoyed seeing her react to his teasing, he liked the constant back and forth they seemed to have, but the trouble was now he seemed to over analyse things, worrying if he was coming across as flirty or weird.

After their Defence exam in fifth year was when it all seemed to come to a head, and the confrontation down by the lake had resulted in James asking Lily out in such a public manner—he hadn’t meant to, but it had slipped out, and almost instantly he had wished that he could take it back. He knew he had embarrassed her and he hadn’t been at all surprised when she had got angry. And despite the fact he tried to appear unbothered by it all, her words had hit him harder than he liked to admit.

A lot happened over the summer between his fifth year and his sixth year, the main thing being Sirius officially moving in with him and his parents; seeing the state Sirius had been in when he had turned up on James’ doorstep that night had shattered James, he didn’t understand how a parent—someone who was supposed to love you unconditionally—could treat their own child in such a manner, he didn’t understand how anybody could treat another human being in that manner, full stop. His parents had taken Sirius in without warning, and from that moment James was fiercely insistent that Sirius was his brother, and he was fiercely protective of him.

Over the course of James’ sixth year, a lot of people seemed to notice a change in his behaviour—sure, he still enjoyed mucking about with his mates and he still had a big love for mischief, but there was much less hexing others for his own amusement and less skiving off from classes, even those he deemed unnecessary like History of Magic. Despite the changes he made, it still came as a shock when he received his Head Boy badge shortly before commencing his final year at Hogwarts.

The thought of returning for his final year was a daunting one, he struggled to come to terms with the fact that in 9 short months he would be walking out of the Hogwarts gates for the last time as a student and thrown into the middle of a full blown war. He knew what side he was fighting on and he knew that he would be fighting alongside his friends, and whilst he was excited to begin really, truly contributing to the war efforts, he was terrified. He feared for the safety of his friends, his family, and of course, Lily Evans, his now-girlfriend and the absolute love of his life. He had no idea what the future held for him, but he knew that whatever was thrown at them he could face it with her by his side.

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“I love you.”

The words had slipped from his mouth so easily, so effortlessly, and it hadn’t at all been how he had planned to do it. Sometimes he thought he would tell her one night whilst they were stargazing up in the Astronomy Tower, he thought he would hire a band to play her favourite song in the moments leading up to the big reveal—was it a big reveal, though?—or maybe he would have planned a perfect date and taken her for a moonlit walk at the end of it where he would get down on bended knee and recite the million and one things he really, truly loved about her. That sounded like something pulled straight out of one of the romance novels he knew his Lily enjoyed reading.

He had never imagined he would tell her like this, one rainy Sunday afternoon when they were both sat up in James’ dorm, James’ nose red raw from all the times he had blown it in the last twenty four hours. He had come down with a horrid cold after a rather treacherous Quidditch practice in the horrid January rain a few days prior, and Lily had fairly quickly taken on the role of his personal Healer and she had vowed to nurse him back to health.

The words were still hanging in the air as the silence ticked on following his confession, and James felt daft; he saw the surprise on her face, knew that she hadn’t expected that one when they had only officially been together for a little over 6 weeks, but James supposed those words had been true for quite a while—for him, at least—and he wouldn’t take them back, he didn’t want to take them back, because he wanted this fantastic woman to know just how strongly he felt about her, and just how much she meant to him.

The seconds continued to pass—five, ten, fifteen—but eventually Lily smiled. It was a brilliant smile, his favourite in fact, it was the kind of smile that met her eyes and really lit up her face, and James felt like if that was the last thing he saw then he would die a happy man.

“I love you too.” And with that she leaned in, attempting to close the distance between the pair of them, which was made all the more difficult as James leaned back and away from her. Her brows knitted together in confusion and James mentioned something about not wanting to make her poorly, to which she shook her head and responded with an amused, “I don’t care, you idiot,” before she leaned in once more, and this time he stayed put.