#i really hope the quality isn’t showing up as bad as it looks for me rn 😭 it’s so crunchy

[kismetmoon]

(possible eyestrain warning)

giza for @entraptz !

[ID: a digital drawing of an original stylised Flatland character named Giza on a red background.

Giza is a humanoid creature with a round head and one large red eye. She is drawn as a grey outline that shows the shape of her sweatpants and the bangles on her wrists.

She is stood with her head tilted down while looking up at the viewer with a narrowed eye. Her right hand is held bent with a cigarette between her fingers. An outline of smoke is trailing from the cigarette. Her left arm is held down by her side with a silhouette of a black butcher knife in her hand in front of her legs. “Giza” is wrote beside her in all black capitals, with the letter “a” wrote as the anarchy symbol.

End ID].

doodles and an alternative / ‘normally’ coloured version under the cut (where i forgot that she doesn’t actually have a top point, sorry !) (no eyestrain warning) :

[ID: four digital drawings of Giza done on red backgrounds.

The first image shows the same drawing of Giza as above, but coloured in in a lineless style. She has dark grey skin with light grey patches on her shoulders and a sharp point on top of her head. She is wearing baggy grey sweatpants, two thin silver bangles on her right wrist and a thick silver bangle on her left. The cigarette is orange and white with a light grey smoke cloud outline. The butcher knife blade is the same red as the background.

The second image is an uncoloured doodle of Giza. She is kicking her leg out and has both her arms up with a butcher knife in her left hand. She is smiling at the knife.

The third image is another uncoloured doodle of her standing while facing the viewer and giving them the middle finger. She has an angry expression.

The fourth image is also an uncoloured doodle of Giza sat down and reading a book on the ground. She looks intrigued by the book. There is black writing beside her that says “reading :)”.

End ID].

[nereidprinc3ss]

drunk in love

in which fem!reader gets extra affectionate with spencer when she's drunk and he's just happy to be there

fluff! warnings/tags: drunk!reader, tooth-rottingly sweet fluff, spencer loves you so bad, short n sweet, that's it a/n: this is for the person who requested spencer taking care of drunk!reader and they're just being really cute and kissy and i lost your request i'm sorry but i hope you see this!! if you guys like this pls let me know, i have spencer helping drunk!r with a bath locked and loaded and its also so cute oh my god i love him goodnight

“Spence,” you say, voice pretty and airy as a song, pressing butterfly-light kisses with soft lips all over the side of his face. 

“What?” he asks fondly, fighting to keep his grip on you secure as you keep trying to fall down and bring him with you. This bar isn’t necessarily a dive, but he’s sure the floor is still sticky and he’s not interested in checking. 

“I really love you so much. I love you so much more than anyone else has ever loved anyone before.” It’s the fourth or fifth time you’ve told him you love him so much in ten minutes, but it doesn’t feel any less wonderful to hear. “Say it back!” you pout, settling against his chest. 

“You didn’t give me time to say it back,” he explains patiently, looking down at you and brushing hair behind your ear. “I love you so much, too, baby.”

Suddenly you’re too flustered and shy to make eye contact. 

“Call me that again.”

Spencer’s brow furrows. His smile flickers wider. 

“What? Baby?” You nod into his chest. He smooths your hair. “I call you baby all the time.”

“Because you love me?”

“Because I love you,” he agrees solemnly. 

You squeak, covering your face with your hands. Not for the first time tonight, he wonders what exactly was in those drinks Penelope kept ordering for you.

“Kiss?”

He gently grabs your wrists. 

“You have to show me that pretty face if you want a kiss.”

Your hands slide down your cheeks and you tilt your head up. Now that your face is on display, pretty and shiny in the low lighting, Spencer ducks down and kisses you sweetly, one hand on the back of your head, the other pulling your wrists down and out of the way. He makes sure to not let it go on for too long. There are still plenty of people around, but more saliently, you are quite drunk. 

“Good?” he asks, brushing a thumb over your cheek as he pulls away.

“Can we kiss forever?”

“We can try,” he muses. 

“I love you,” you say again, plainly. “I wish there was a word stronger than love. I feel like I’ve said love so much it’s lost all its meaning.”

“Keep saying it,” he encourages. “I like hearing it.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” you whisper. Spencer leans down for you to cup your hand to his ear clandestinely. Sweet vanilla perfume still clings to your warm skin, lingering on your neck, mixing with the smell of fruity cocktails on your breath and making him dizzy. “I think JJ has a crush on you.”

He chuckles, straightening. Grieving the loss of your scent for just a second in the back of his mind—until you’re pressing against him anxiously, and it returns. 

“JJ is married, babe. I don’t think so.”

You pout. 

“No, but I really think she does! It makes me sad!”

Spencer doesn’t believe it for a second, but he knows hard logic and persuasion aren’t really going to do much for you right now. So he loops an arm around your waist and reigns you in. 

“You don’t need to be sad, sweetheart. It doesn’t matter who has a crush on me because I have a crush on you.”

“Just me?” you ask anxiously. 

“Just you. You’re the prettiest girl in the world. I have a huge crush on you.”

He realizes his voice has taken on that saccharine quality that Derek would give him shit for, and it’s probably visible in his eyes as he leans close to you, but he doesn’t care at all. 

You raise your chin, wordlessly asking for another kiss. He delivers. The fabric of his shirt tugs where you grab onto it, attempting to bring him closer even when he draws away from the kiss. Of course he allows it, narrowly avoiding stepping on your toes as you pull him to you like a dog on a leash. 

“Can we go home? I wanna cuddle.”

Oh, yeah. If Derek were present he’d have the most ridiculous, shit-eating grin on his face right now. Luckily he’s not here right now, and even if he were, Spencer would still brush your hair aside and say, absolutely we can go home and cuddle. 

“Of course we can. Do you want to say goodbye to everyone?”

“Mm… can we Irish goodbye?”

He chuckles. 

“I think you should say thank you to Penelope for buying you all of those ridiculous drinks that are making you so nice.”

You make a face. 

“I’m always nice.”

“You’re not always this nice,” he reminds you with a small smile, resting his hands on your waist. You frown. 

“In my head I am.”

He kisses your head. It’s impossible not to. 

“I know. Come on, let’s say bye. I want to go home too.”

“You think I’m not usually nice?”

“Of course I don’t think that. I think you’re so nice.”

“Oh my god, can we get ice cream?” You gasp, already distracted and pulling him along by the hand as you weave through the sparse crowd. 

He smiles to himself, happy to follow your lead as long as you don’t let go. 

“We can definitely get ice cream. We can do whatever you want.”

[suugarbabe]

I would love habit, crush and love for Mattheo 😂😂😂 I know I’m greedy but this man just does something to me 🥵🥵

On the real, we’re all greedy for Mattheo. It’s a tad long so I cut it

Habit

Mattheo has a horribly bad habit of staring

His staring has two modes: completely dead and hyperfixating

When he finds something boring, he’s completely dead inside.

Low vacant eyes that seem like his mind is in another dimension

Draco or Theo snapping their fingers in front of him to bring him back to reality

But when it’s you it’s anything but dead eyes; he’s hyperfixated.

That’s how you figured out he was interested in you; you had caught him staring

About 45x in one day

Since you started actually dating all he does is stare at you

At your eyes and the light that sparkle when you’re talking about something you love

At your lips when they're freshly glossed and how he just wants to mess it up

At your ass and how dangerously short your skirt looks in DADA today

At your tits as their bouncing in front of his face while you ride him

Crush

Mattheo is a teasing crusher; almost like he’s in primary school again

He tugs on your ponytail/bun/hair and just smiles innocently when you turn around and glare at him

He bumps into you in the hall, giving himself the opportunity to catch you as well before flashing a dimpled grin and giving you a “sorry Princess”

He tosses chips and pieces of rolls down the table or across the great hall at you and when you whip your eyes towards him he’s turning his head and whistling like he’s innocent as can be

And he’s like this because he doesn’t know how to show true affection that isn’t just purely lust (let’s remember his examples growing up)

So when he grabs your hand at a house party and asks you to dance you wear a confused expression

You tell him you figured he didn’t like you with how he teased you

Which leaves him a flustered mess and forces him to explain that he really desperately has a crush on you

And if you’d let him make up the last few weeks he promises you won’t regret it

Love

Mattheo Riddle is incredibly insecure when it comes to love

He’s had such shit examples in his life that he doesn’t even realize that he is in love until Blaise and Luna are listening to him ramble on about you

And our sweet Luna just turns to Blaise with a “Isn’t it just an adventure seeing your friends fall in love?”

Then it hits him like a ton on bricks

Love? Thats why he thinks of you first whenever he wants to tell someone good news?

That’s why when he’s pissed off and you wrap your arms around his middle it’s like all his worries melt away?

But he’s never really experienced love, so how does he know you love him back?

He’d need constant reassurance in the beginning because he truly just can’t believe someone would really and honestly love him

But you don’t mind telling him daily, or singing his praises because you don’t think he’s heard about all his good qualities enough in his life

And you’d tell him again and again as much as he’d want because the way he looks at you (like you hung the fucking moon), Merlin you hope you see that every day

[needle-thread-thimble-spear]

RGU and the Transfeminine, Part 1

OR

Why Miki Kaoru is an Egg

Fig. 1: The Sunlit Garden

When I’d first watched through Revolutionary Girl Utena, Miki Kaoru was initially one of the characters I had the hardest time figuring out. Unlike the other poisoned sibling relationships in the show, Miki and Kozue’s didn’t really make much sense to me. I couldn’t decide how I felt about the character, whether he was “better” somehow than Touga, Saionji, or Akio, or if he was “just as bad”. And of course. What the hell is with that damn stopwatch dude??* Looking at fan writings afterward just deepened the confusion. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on what’s going on with Miki. It’s only after much re-watching, and introspection, that I think I’ve figured out why I’m so conflicted about the character. I’d like to share why- and hopefully along the way I can at least show that Miki is more interesting than many give him credit for. Click the readmore if you please!

(And, to be clear, what is written below is a reading, a blend of evidence from the text, from the subtext, and my own personal experience. I do not claim to be the first to interpret the character this way nor do I claim that this is the definitive read of the character. Nonetheless, I hope I can make my case to you!)

and, a big thank you to @empty-movement for collating all the high quality screengrabs and scans in this post!

Fig 2: Rookie Princes

While I’m not the first to notice, I think it’s frequently overlooked just how similar Utena and Miki are in the first arc. It’s definitely something that flies over the heads of many first-time viewers. But Miki and Utena, are extremely alike! Of course, they are both motivated by an unattainable image of the past, and Miki’s early episodes codify the “sunlit garden” into the RGU symbolic environment. But it’s more than just this. Utena and Miki both treat Anthy in basically the same way. Utena has an easy time convincing Miki that the dueling game is objectifying nonsense. That the principled thing is to leave the whole exercise behind and treat Anthy like a person. It isn’t very hard for Miki to convince Utena to duel him for her hand either. They both view themselves as her personal protector, and (while maybe at different times), both project their imagination of what she must be thinking onto her. Utena does a bit more than Miki to try and figure Anthy out, but it doesn’t take much for her to get swept up in her own image of prince. In both their minds, Anthy needs them to save her. And, when Anthy looks them in the eyes, and tells them. I’m not yours. It destroys them. Freezes them in their tracks, breaks their hearts. Screaming, its a lie, you can’t mean that! Of course they get along so well! They see themselves in one another, plain as day. Little rival princelings, seeking the affections of the same princess, but always with chivalry and good intention.

Fig 3: Heartbreak

But I think there is more to it than that! Miki and Utena (and later Nanami) are some of the youngest duelists (at least, without a black rose anyway). And, they have fairly similar relationships to the other members of the student council. Juri acts as an older friend, mentor, and source of advice for both of them. Its not unlikely that she sees her younger self in the two of them, and while she does very directly take this out on Utena, its her sword that Utena takes to her second duel with Touga. Indeed, Touga manipulates Miki and Utena in unsubtle and sexually aggressive ways, as compared to how he might treat Saionji or Juri. And for both, its their relationship to gender that he directly attacks. He attempts to break Utena’s spirit by turning her “back into a normal girl”, and for Miki he seems to challenge his masculinity. And while this may seem as though the two of them are being shoved in opposite directions, in both cases, Touga hits them in the same place. “You’re a prince then? I don’t think so. Unless you prove it”. Touga isn’t the only one to question Miki’s ability or status. Utena and Juri both tell Miki. You are much more suited to playing piano than dueling. The main difference here is that they tell him this with genuine compassion, but the implication is the same. You aren’t suited to this prince thing. Give it up.

I don’t think it’s just the audience who is conflicted slotting in Miki with the other “men”.

Fig 4: Strange Friends

Much ink has been spilled on Miki and Kozue’s relationship, but I do think there is one thing consistent across readings. There is a power struggle going on between them, and they’ve both got something to hold over the others head. Personally, I don’t believe there is any attraction between them. Rather, What’s Going On With Those Two is their mismatch in understanding their sexuality and the RGU concept of “Reality”, and the friction that creates in their image of themselves and one another. That reading may go as follows. Miki sees Kozue as acting dangerously and immorally. In his mind, she is his responsibility, to keep out of trouble at the very least. Perhaps he sees himself as needing to step in for their absent parents. So he sees himself as the mature and grounded one, a father figure needing to keep the both of them on the straight and narrow. Kozue on the other hand, sees Miki as being essentially blind to Reality (with a capital R). She believes he doesn’t have a good grasp of what sex is, or what adult relationships look like. She may believe that she understands what happened with their parents much better than Miki, and clearly sees that her brother is in danger with his creepy music teacher. So she sees herself as the mature and grounded one, needing to protect her brother both by warding off people who would take advantage of him and by getting him to grow up and see things as they Really are. Without their parents, they feel the need to take care of one another and control how the other approaches their sexuality. But in the end, it does seem that Kozue is the one who is better able to manipulate Miki’s behavior, helping Akio convince him to duel a second time. That Miki needs to grow up and accept what he wants. He sees a vision of Anthy, and he’s driving the akiomobile. And, with fearful realization, he discovers the identity of End of the World.

Fig 5: Fear

So then. Why should Miki be so hung up about his sexuality? It clearly makes him very uncomfortable. And why does he compare the sister he had in the past onto the one he has in the present? What’s so special about that sunlit garden, anyway? What is Miki Kaoru’s shining thing?

Let me spin a yarn, if you'll indulge me-

As far as Miki remembers it, when he was little things were perfect. His parents were still there, and he and his twin sister were thick as thieves. They would play piano together, and drink milkshakes. Things were simple and happy as far as he’s concerned, and while his childhood was not nearly as rosy as he remembers, it was certainly better than whatever he has to deal with now. Now his parents are gone for reasons he doesn’t quite understand, and his sister has drifted away from him and acts promiscuously. His body is starting to change, and it fills him with disgust. Worse still, he finds himself envying his sister for some reason. It all floods him with shame. He needs to fight those feeling with everything he has. Being very clever for his age, he finds himself the youngest member of the student council. He becomes involved with the dueling game as it is revealed to him, and goes along with it, not wanting to act out of place. He gets a crush on Anthy, and is unable to figure out what the hell he should do about it. Later, he meets Utena, and the two become fast friends. And how lucky, his new friend is roommates with his crush! She’s just so perfect. She’s kind, and quiet, and chaste, not at all like his sister. He feels a kinship with her. And in an act of cosmic fate- she plays for him his favorite childhood arrangement. It’s just as Touga says. He can’t let the world get to her, the way its getting to his sister. The way its getting to him. He needs to make sure that Anthy, and his memories, are safe. But alas- it seems she doesn’t feel the same way. She’d rather be with Utena. Hopefully, Utena can protect her where he cannot. Miki and Utena go back to being friends, and he nurses his hurt feelings privately. It wouldn't do to make a scene about it, and besides, it wasn’t appropriate for him to think of her like that anyway. Thinking about anyone like that. He can’t help but feel disgusted with himself for allowing it. Later, his relationship with his sister continues to deteriorate, and his father is remarrying. But he can stick by his principles, and stay out of it all, the dueling especially. Kozue, Touga, and Akio have other plans. He is confronted with Reality, and it terrifies him. He sees himself in the drivers seat, Anthy his. This is what he is now, no point in trying to hide from it. He challenges Utena again, taking an early advantage utilizing his new resolve and Utena’s confusion. But that resolves breaks quickly. What is Kozue doing with Anthy?

Pay attention, or you’ll lose.

Fig 6: Crash!!

Miki is disgusted with himself, his role, because he does not want it. He hates what’s happening to himself and his family. He admires Utena and Juri, for embodying his ideal self. He listens to Touga, puts up with his music teacher, even if they make him feel gross and uncomfortable, because he feels he has to and that he doesn’t have a choice. He idolizes Anthy, so much. He is attracted to her, but maybe there is something more. Maybe, Miki wishes he could be her. Miki, in my mind, is a closeted trans lesbian going through puberty as a boy. I think that part of this might be projection, perhaps. But I hope that I might have made my case using the text of the show. But even if you disagree, I hope that you might have a better appreciation for his character. I think he’s fairly consistently people’s least favorite council member as a character, but honestly he’s my favorite and I think there’s a lot more too him than a lot of people give him credit for.

Fig 7: Three Lesbians Hanging Out

… this all being said. I think it’s interesting that Miki thinks Anthy is the picture of femininity right? That this is what he wants.

In the end, all girls are like the rose bride.

Please wait patiently while I make the case, that while Miki is an egg. Anthy has long since hatched...

(And I do mean be patient! This subject, and the concept that Ohtori represents a transmisogynystic institution at its very core, is WAY more personal than this headcanon, and also is much more of a difficult thing to write for dozens of reasons. I'm still not 100% sure it would even be right of me to post my thoughts on that publicly. But if enough people are interested, maybe that would motivate me to write it!)

*What’s a good Miki essay without some sort of Stopwatch Theory tm? Well (and I freely admit much of this is probably projection, but it’s not just me projecting! It’s also my girlfriend!!), Miki seems to get very wrapped up in his own thoughts. He is very self conscious, takes the criticisms of others very seriously, and also seems to get ideas about How Things Are Going To Happen in his head. He desperately tries to make sense of his surroundings, and finds himself consistently failing to do that. So my guess is the stopwatch is a way for him to regulate and calibrate his thoughts and hypotheses and self image. He picked it up in his duty as council secretary, but its something he feels is significant outside of that. Aha moment? Click. Unexpected end to a council meeting? Click. Something go completely as expected? Click. It helps him process I think. That is my formal Stopwatch Hypothesis tm.

Supplement Fig 1: Stopwatch

[fashionteahouse]

Hii I saw that you were accepting requests and was wondering if you could do a

A Paul Lahote x Reader

Where the reader is really good friends with Emily, and helps her cook for the pack. When the pack runs into Emily’s house hungry, the reader already has plates prepared for everyone but makes Paul’s extra nice, and everyone teases/ is jealous because of the special treatment Paul gets.

haha of course of course 💜 hope you enjoy :)

4 wings - paul x reader

The hot grease pops and coats the cooking food in the pot. Jokes are tossed back and forth in the room between you and Emily. Joyful giggles fill the air. The air smelled delicious of the cooking food that was made with happiness and love.

The pack was out fulfilling their duties as being protectors. They really enjoyed coming back to a hearty home cooked meal after such a stressful day.

Cooking with Emily never felt tedious. One of the amazing qualities that you loved about her was how time seemed to pass so fast when she was around.

The food was ready to be plated so that’s exactly what you did. You always made Paul’s first and put it to the side. Emily pours the drinks in cups for each of the wolves that were about to come in.

The boys burst in noisily with their stomachs growling. They all sit at the long table, tired from the laborious day. Emily of course gives Sam’s designated plate. You help her set plates in front of each of the wolves.

“Here you go.” You say to Paul when he tiredly sits down. Paul’s plate is sat down in front of him and you massage his shoulders a bit. You then hug him from behind his neck. When you grab your plate and sit at the table next to him, a lot of eyes are on you.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, unsure of why some of them are looking at Paul’s plate.

“4 wings? Really? I eat way more than that.” Jared says and sets them apart on his plate to show off his claim. Emily just snorts at this.

“Not only that, the dude’s plate is so perfectly presented.” Embry speaks out snickering.

You roll your eyes and take a sip of your drink.

“And what about it?” Paul says, not really caring about their complaints. He’s feasting on his plate. He has way more than 4 wings and it wasn’t his problem.

“You’re only 3rd in command! It’s not fair!” Jared says to him. Paul shrugs and takes an extra big bite of his food to show off his unbothered attitude.

“At least hook the youngest up.” Seth says to you and gives you a set of innocent eyes.

Paul’s crunching makes them even more annoyed.

“It’s alright Seth, there’s some obvious favoritism. Emily please make my plate next time. I’ll be a skinny wolf dealing with Y/N’s portions.” Sam says.

“Look, she even gave me one of the smallest wings.” Jacobs says and holds it up.

“You guys are so dramatic. You are all making it seem like there isn’t enough for you all to get seconds.” you say to them. You rub Paul’s back in circles to reassure that he shouldn’t have feel bad for having a bit more than others.

“Do you like the food?” you say to him and he looks over at you with a shit eating grin and nods. He’s enjoying the blatant treatment of being on top.

“Besides, it’s not like he has that much more than all of you.” you say to the table.

Paul busts out laughing at the bewilderment of the pack’s eyes, hearing you say such statement.

[vodika-vibes]

Hi! Congrats and super excited for your follower event! Can I ask for red carnation & jonquil with Alpha-17! Can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Affection Returned

Summary: You're a doctor who was assigned to Kamino at the beginning of the war, and you remained on Kamino because of Alpha-17.

Pairing: Alpha-17 x Reader

Word Count: 1012

Warnings: none

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: I'm not sure this one is good. I had a hard time making jonquil fit for Alpha, but I did my best. I hope you like it!

“What happened this time?” You ask, setting your hands on your hips as you look up at Alpha-17, who’s sitting on one of your medical beds.

“One of the cadets got a little enthusiastic,” Alpha explains as he shows you the burn on his arm, “Jet pack training.”

You sigh and cross the room over to him, “Honestly, Captain. At this point I’m beginning to think you’re getting hurt intentionally.”

“Would that be so bad?” Alpha asks with a sly smile.

“If you want to come and talk to me, you don’t have to be hurt.” You counter with a roll of your eyes as you twist his arm slightly so that you’re able to look at the burn properly, “It’s not too bad, really. Just some bacta-” You release his arm and cross the room to grab some bacta.

You’ve been a medic on Kamino for several years now, since the war began two and a half years ago. And honestly, you’re surprised that you’ve lasted as long as you have. After all, you were hired by the Jedi to come to Kamino to treat the men here.

You and about two dozen other doctors from Doctors Without Borders.

Sometimes you wonder about how the Kaminoans feel about that, especially since the whole medical facility, including the cloning facility, are now solely under the management of Doctors Without Borders.

Honestly, this isn’t the best place for your career. But if you were worried about your career you would have put in for a transfer to a warship.

But, well, Alpha-17 is here. And you’ve been in love with him for well over a year now.

You grab the jar of bacta gel and then return to his side, “Is this your only injury, or are you hiding another injury from me so that you can come back later?” You ask as you set the jar on a small table, and gently turn his arm so you’re able to see the burn again.

Alpha’s gaze is heavy against you, “You want me to strip so you can give me a full physical?”

You shoot him a look, “At this point, I’m beginning to think that I should. Maybe it will make you be more careful if you have to spend an hour here every time you get hurt.”

“That’s not going to work like you think it will,” Alpha drawls with a small smirk. “A whole hour of nothing but your attention? And with you touching me? That’s the stuff dreams are made of, cyar’ika.”

You huff, “Maybe I’ll transfer you to another doctor then, Captain.” 

“Aww, don’t be like that. Everyone knows that you’re the only Doc I listen to.”

You sigh and shake your head, “My coworkers are just as capable as I am. So why am I the only one you listen to?”

“The other ones are afraid of me,” Alpha replies, “I’m intimidating. Didn’t you know?”

You sigh, “You’re hardly the boogeyman, Captain.” You gently apply the gel to his arm, and then wrap it with clean bandages, “You can remove the bandages tonight.”

“Hm,” Alpha absently rubs the bandages, “How long have we worked together, Doc?”

You stare at him for a moment, “I was sent here about two years ago.” You reply as you lift your datapad to start filling out his chart, “Why do you ask?”

“And in two years, you’ve never once called me by my name.” Alpha says mildly.

You pause, “You earned your rank, Captain. Just like I earned my title.”

“Do you know my name?”

You sigh, “Of course I do.”

“Then use it.”

You hesitate for a half-second. Not using his name was a way to keep some distance between yourself and him. The last thing you want is for him to be uncomfortable because of your emotions. “Alpha,” You finally say, and even to your own ears his name has a soft, warm, quality that is, frankly, humiliating.

Alpha looks startled for a moment, and then a slow smirk crosses his face, “Well then,”

Your face heats, “I-” You’re cut off when his fingers, warm and calloused, brush against your cheek, “...Alpha?”

“I never considered-” He trails off for a moment, and watches you thoughtfully, “The majority of the doctors who came here at the beginning of the war moved on after six months, why didn’t you?” He asks.

“I…I thought I could do the most good here.” You offer hesitantly.

Alpha’s fingers ghost across your lips, “Don’t lie.”

“I’m not. I can do the most good here, but-” your gaze darts around nervously, and then you steel your nerves and you look at him, “But it’s not the only reason I stayed.”

“Tell me.”

“I stayed for you…because of you. Because I’ve been in love with you for an embarrassing amount of time. And…and I’d give anything for you to return my affections. But-”

“But-?”

“But I know you probably don’t and that’s fine. It’s not going to change anything-”

“You’re just going to assume that I won’t return your affection?” Alpha asks.

You blink at him, “What?”

“Cyar’ika,” He speaks slowly, as though he’s gathering his thoughts, “Why do you think I’m here all of the time?”

“Because you like my company?” You offer.

“Yes, but that’s not the only reason.” Alpha says with a soft laugh. “Let’s just say that I return your affection.”

You blink at him, twice, “You do?”

“Is that so surprising?”

“Um…a little bit.” You admit with a sheepish smile.

Alpha regards you thoughtfully for a moment, and then he tugs you in and crashes his lips against yours. You release a startled squeak at first, your hands pressed against his chest for balance, and then you sigh softly, and relax into his affection.

“Does that prove my point?” He asks softly, his lips hovering just over yours.

“Yeah,” You whisper up to him, a dreamlike quality to your voice.

Alpha chuckles and then his lips are against yours again, as he tugs you closer and threads his fingers through your hair.

[beaker1636]

Donors Wanted Pt. 1 - Chris Motionless

AN: Hey, here it is. I have never written in first person so if this is slightly lower quality than my other work it is because I am adjusting to that, but here is the first part! I hope you all enjoy it! I have no clue how many more parts I intend for this but it'll be several!

Taglist: @yournecessaryevil @talialovesmiw @ladyveronikawrites @cookiesupplier

I slip out of the shower before making my way back towards my bedroom, trying to decide what I should do.  I know the inevitable is going to happen, the sun is now setting so they should be here with the one who is sick.  I sigh, slipping into some sweatpants and a shirt to be comfortable figuring that  would probably be the best but really not sure how any of this is going to work honestly.

Suddenly Sierra is standing outside my door, startling me when I leave my room.

“Holy shit, you scared me,” I grasp my chest, startled as my body jumps from my sudden presence of my roommate.

“I wanted to tell you that you should probably make sure to eat, this time he is going to need more than usual because of how rough he is and I don't want you too exhausted or to pass out.  I already made some of your favorite pasta and have it on the stove for you,” she says softly, giving me a smile as she steps away to give me room to step out into the hallway.  Her blue eyes show me just how happy she is that I am willing to do this, that I want to help her friend.

“Yeah, okay.  Thanks, I assumed I’d be sitting there awhile too so I wore something comfortable.  I guess I don’t know how to prepare for any of this, honestly I am starting to get nervous about this all Sierra,” I finally admit.  I refuse to look at her, knowing she would want to try and make it better if she knows just how bad I am.

“Hey, I was too the first time I did this for Rick, but then just knowing I was helping someone, that I was able to help him stay alive, it helped me feel like it was worth it.  Now we have a really strong bond, honestly we haven’t labeled it but we’re basically a couple. This isn’t a bad thing honestly, is it going to hurt, yes, I almost guarantee it this time because he is going to be a lot rougher more than likely.  But normal feedings, they don’t.  After the initial sting of the bite it actually can feel okay, or they can make you feel great because it gives the two of you a bond nobody else has with them,” she says.  Her eyes meet mine again as she smiles, I can tell her feelings are genuine. That she means everything she says, that she does feel that bond with Rick.

“I, thank you.  I just needed that reassurance. I guess that this genuinely won't be terrible, come on, lets go eat some dinner before they get here,” I say softly, squeezing her arm as I walk by her in the hallway in thanks for helping me feel better.

We both settle on the couch with a bowl of our pasta, putting one of our favorite shows on the tv so that we could sit and try to relax about this impending moment, me pulling my blanket around myself as I try to warm up, unsure if I feel cold because of my anxieties or if I am actually cold.

We are most of the way through dinner when there is a knock on the door, making me tense up in fear as the reality of what is about to happen comes crashing down.  I almost instantly glance at Sierra, silently begging her to answer the door so I have another couple moments before this actually happens.

She gets up, giving me a reassuring smile before she goes and opens the door, hugging the shorter man that is standing in the front before ushering him in.  Then behind him there are two bigger guys carrying in another, one that is clearly sick.  His eyes are barely even open, his body covered in a sheen of sweat as he lets them carry him, limp and unmoving inside of our house. 

I let out a gasp when I realized just how sick he actually is, I don’t know why I thought it wasn’t actually this bad when Sierra told me about him but I didn’t.  This poor man, his black hair hangs in his face, almost covering his dark eyes as they move and gently set him on the couch next to me.

Before I can register what’s happening the shorter one has their arms wrapped around me in a hug, one that I stiffly return, anxious and confused.

“Thank you, thank you so much for helping our leader.  We, we all thought we were going to lose him and we’d never find someone who would help,” he says, his voice soft in my ear before he pulls away with a smile.

“Uhhh… you’re welcome?” I say awkwardly, not sure what I should think about this all.

“Hey Rick, you probably should have said who you were before you just pulled her into a hug, she's already anxious,” Sierra scolds before she looks at me. “That was Rick, he's the clan doctor of this group.”

The one who is named Rick gives me another smile.  His dark hair looks beautiful against his skin and blue eyes, I can understand why Sierra seems to have a thing for him, he is much her type.

“Oh yeah, sorry.  I’m Rick, and those two that helped me bring Chris over are Ryan and Justin,” he gestures to the other two.  I notice Ryan is a bit more bulky, his muscles in his arms prominent as he gives me a slight wave.  The piercing in his nose for some reason stands out to me, maybe because I didn’t expect it.  Justin on the other hand is quite a bit taller than the other men, his hair an artificial blonde color which tells me he either dyes it or intends to.  Justin gives me a sad smile, like he's happy I am helping but distraught over their leader being in rough shape.

“Um Hi? I’m y/n.  Sorry, normally I have more to say but I’m still… processing things.  What do I need to do or whatever,” I say softly, my eyes settling on the heap of a form that is their leader.  My heart is half broken, I can’t help but wonder how long he has been starving to get this sick.  And the fact he is taking the admirable path and refusing to just go eat like most of their kind would and is letting himself starve…. I just can’t wrap my head around this.

“Well, normally you two would meet a couple times a week give or take so that he could come and feed, and you’d arrange that together but he clearly couldn’t do that this time.  I also unfortunately am thinking we may have to umm cut you, make him smell your blood to make his instincts kick in to drink from you.  His body is so shut down that I don’t think he is going to be able to just naturally do it.  Anyways, there are a few things I do think you should know first.  Mostly this one, drinking from a human, it naturally arouses us, so if he ever kisses you or something, please don’t take it badly it’s probably because of that natural response.  Second, we are able to heal your wounds with our saliva, so when it’s done and you allow him to lick the marks they will go away within a few minutes.  And third, most importantly, you are always welcome to cancel this arrangement at any point. It is preferable with notice but if you just decide you can’t do it anymore it is understood and you’d be allowed to leave.  Uhh Ryan, Justin, am I forgetting anything? I’m so used to Chris doing this talk with new people that I don’t remember what all he says.” Rick asks, glancing towards the other men to ask if he missed anything.

“I don’t think so honestly,” Ryan says, giving a shrug as he watches you curiously.  Normally the donors are freaking out more but somehow you don’t seem to be and it is honestly perplexing him, making him wonder why.

“I, I guess we should start this, not waste time in helping him feel better huh?” I ask, my eyes still watching their leaders form as I take in the sight of him some more.

“I’d suggest if you don’t mind maybe doing this in your bedroom, it’s going to take a while so that way you can make yourself comfortable, and so if it is easier he is able to lay down,” Justin quickly suggests, wanting to make this as easy on both Chris and I as he can.

“Uh yeah okay, follow me I guess,” I say softly, leading them towards my bedroom, watching a little curiously as the two men are carrying their leader again as I sit against the headboard, learning back so as to try and be comfortable while they place Chris on the bed next to me.

“I think what will be easiest is to just have you give him your wrist, see if he’ll take it.  If not, do you care if I cut you, not a lot but just enough that it should make him instinctively react and hopefully reach for you? He’d still wind up biting you but at least then we know he is drinking,” Rick asks, looking up at me with his blue eyes looking sad, like he doesn’t want to do this.

I nod, moving to place my arm right in front of Chris, hoping that he’ll find the strength to just lean in and take what he needs but when he doesn’t I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness, wanting him to just do it.  I let out a sigh, moving to hold my hand out towards Rick so that he can take his knife and lightly cut me, hoping he understands that I am telling him to just go ahead and do it.

He also sighs, moving to lightly knick me, enough to make me bleed but not enough to hurt me as I let out a small gasp from the sting.  I move to put my arm in front of Chris’ face again, noticing that his eyes are opening as he just watches me closely, practically drooling over it but not acting.

“Fuck, come on Chris,” I whisper, suddenly aware that I want him to do this, that I want to help him and I feel hopeless.  He finally leans in, smelling me softly before I feel his teeth suddenly clamp down, biting into my flesh hard, making me gasp and let out a cry, in both surprise and pain as he finally gives in to this.  

His lips settle on my skin around his teeth as he finally begins to drink, his hands pulling my arm and me closer to him as he takes what he needs, my eyes meeting his as he does.  I can’t bring myself to look away from his eyes, something drawing me in, neither of us looking away from the other until we hear some quiet cheers from across the room as everyone realizes that he is actually feeding from me.  

I look back towards him again, noticing a small stream of red running down his chin and can’t help myself but to wipe it off with my fingers, noticing how he shuddered slightly under that touch as he continued to drink.  His eyes staying locked on me as he starts to look healthier, gaining more strength and his powerful aura is starting to shine through more and more as he continues.

I start to grow tired as he continues to feed, starting to slump in my bed a little as he continues for a few moments longer, my eyes growing heavy.  He pulls away and looks at me with such a soft expression on his face, one of thanks, adoration, admiration before he pulls my arm back towards him, gently licking at the wounds of his bite and of the cut before he gently places it back down, brushing a strand of hair out of my face before looking towards the others in the room.

“Can one of you go get her some orange juice or something, it’ll help her perk up a little from this,” he says, his tone commanding.  

Within seconds the other three men are scrambling out of the room, headed towards your fridge to do as he asks while your friend Sierra watches you, concerned because of how pale you look.

I don’t look at her though, I choose to look over at Chris again, who is still seated next to me. When I meet his eyes he gives me a smile, a hand settles softly on my arm as he lightly rubs his fingers along the skin that he had previously bitten.

“Thank you, I, just thank you,” he says softly, his eyes watching mine as he continues to treat me so gentle, so valuable and I don’t know what to do about it, what to think.

“Chris, it’s no problem, wanted to help who everyone thought so highly of,” I say softly, rubbing my eyes a little bit as the exhaustion still hits me.

As soon as the words leave my mouth the guys return back, someone shoving a glass towards me of the juice as they all watch to make sure I drink, that I am doing alright.  I finish it and lean back with a sigh, feeling a little better but still not great.

“Well, do you want all of us to sit here and keep an eye on her or do you trust yourself enough to watch her for a little bit herself.  As much as you drank from her, someone needs to watch her for an hour or so, make sure she is okay because it was so much more than usual,” Rick explains, looking at Chris.

“I can do it, you guys have already done more than enough.  Someone go check on Vinny, we all know he still struggles a little bit with urges when he's alone and the rest of you can go, thank you,” Chris says, nodding towards them before they all look towards me again, all giving me their thanks for what I did before they wander out.

It is quiet for a minute while it is only Chris and I in the room, neither of us sure what we should say or what we should think, before he finally breaks the silence.

“Thank you for this… now I feel like we should talk, get to know each other better because we are going to be seeing a decent bit of each other,” he says gently, moving to help me lay down on the bed when he can tell that I am ready for it.  My head now rests on my pillow before a blanket is draped over the top of me while he still sits there next to me.

“Well, what do you want to know?”

[sunnikos]

Day 1: Scars

Hello! I am participating in Dazai Birthday Week 2024. This is Day 1!

TW: Self harm, suicidal idiation, and depressive thoughts.

860 words

Enjoy the piece, and stay tuned for the next one!

| Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 |

Where are we left to fall, if the ground has covered us before we can sink down to its’ level? Dazai ponders this very question, sitting at the grave of a very beloved Oda Sakunosuke. Perhaps, such a question can taken literally, if one thinks of the deceased. Dazai has bled for this man, but once more, anything he would never want to lose is always lost. It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment he obtains it. Best not to have anything at all. He scratches at the dirt of the grave.

Hope is a dreadful thing. Hope does not heal ones wounds. Or their wounded. Hope will gloss over such things. Hope ignores the past to search for a better future where there isn’t one. The future. What a bland concept. Even with a blink into the future, Odasaku couldn’t stay alive. He couldn’t hope. His hope had died with those pesky little orphans. Dazai sucks in a self suffering breath. The hopeless detective supposes he can’t blame them for acting like children. Odasaku was a damn good shield. No need to act like adults that young when you’re shielded like that. And why couldn’t Dazai have been shielded?

What a useless question. Only humans get to be treated that way. Dazai was never a child, because only humans can be called such a thing. Dazai is Dazai. Former ‘Demon Prodigy’ of the Port Mafia, current Agency Clown Detective. He can’t scrub himself free of his sins. Can’t wash away his skin, marred and pale as it is. All these little disfigurements to decorate this thing they call a body, to prove he is defective. Bandages cover these issues. His choice of decoration. Leaving the soil, Dazai begins to dirty his fashionable statement piece.

He etches more wounds into his human looking hide. Bleeding will blemish his skin more, it will stain his pretty bandages. And it will make him feel so much better. He knows, logically, that it’s not healthy. Who could care about silly things like that, at times like this? His body is ugly and his friend is dead. Does he have the energy to take care of his self inflicted injuries? He rubs his hand over the wounds and rewraps them in the sullied bandages. They’ll get infected. What does that matter to him? Odasaku is dead, he is not. Dazai lives.

He leans his head against the stone, rationality be damned, he’s going to get some quality time with an old drinking buddy. Limp and listless aren’t so bad, s’not like Odasaku will scold him for it. So what if his body gets numb? It doesn’t matter if it rains, if the city explodes, if his phone has been ringign for the past fifteen minutes. It’s his rot day, he’ll be away until firther notice. Nothing out of the ordinary. A short nap is nothing on a day like this.

Being kicked awake is not abnormal either. “Chuuya should be nicer to me.” Dazai pouts as he complains.

“In your dreams shitty Dazai.”

A shiver, “Any dream with you in it is a nightmare.”

“Good.” Chuuya quips.

“Soooo, what brings you here.”

“Felt like kicking your ass.”

Dazai sucks in a sharp theatrical breath and says, “No thank you!” before fleeing.

“I wasn’t asking bastard!” Chuuya shouts after him as he begins chase.

Dazai, ever the master of evasion, spends the moments of respite in his head. Why was Chuuya really here? That halfassed excuse was defintely not the real reason. If it were a mission, he’d have said that. Did they have plans today? Is that why his phone was being blown up earlier? No.. that was because he didn’t show at work today. It was then that Chuuya spotted him, time to run!

He should really work on his cardio, he’s been slacking a bit lately and the effect is not ideal. The farthest from ideal, he realises, when Chuuya manages to catch him. “What’s wrong with you Mackerel?”

“Everything, dearest chibi, don’t you know?’

“Sure, right, how could I forget.” the Port Mafia Executive rolls his eyes and sits on him, holding him down with his body weight.

Dazai, belly to ground, and head in the clouds, begins humming off key tunes about suicide and waiting for Chuuya to go ahead and tell him why he’s here.

“You know,” Chuuya starts, “I thought the work would be harder when you left.”

“What?”

“You’re a damn brat, but you’re competent. I thought with you gone, I’d have to do more. I ended up doing more anyways, to distract myself from going to find you. My suboordinates call me a workaholic.”

“You were already a workaholic, and awwww! Chibi missed me!”

“Hah! As if! I wanted to murder you, prick!”

“No denial on the workaholic claims I see.”

“Oh fuck off!”

“Oh good one! That’ll shut me up for sure slug!”

“You wanna start motherfucker?”

“Nah~” Dazai sticks his tongue out to mock him.

Chuuya smacks his head and mutters, “Idiot.”

The smack shifts dream with reality. Back at the grave. ”What a nightmare.” Dazai mutters warmly, wondering what Chuuya might be up to now. He buries his hands in the soil and reminisces. He’ll have clean up those scabbed over lesions, no need letting them become perminant.

[humbledragon669]

S1E6 – The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives P4 - from the departure of Shadwell and Madame Tracy

There are just under 10 minutes of this episode left at this point, so I’m hoping I can get this season pretty much wrapped up in this write up (not counting the write up of the opening credits, or the couple of bits I’m intending on doing around the book. Oh, or the work I’m intending on doing around the deleted scenes in the Script Book. Or on identifying differences between the Script Book and the end result. So y’know, so close to getting season 1 all wrapped up…). If I forget by the time I get to the end of it, I’ll just say thank you for sticking with me – I hadn’t really intended for any of these write-ups to be as comprehensive (waffling) as they are, but here I am, 64K words later, not even finished the first season. So, yeah, thanks and other such affectionate gratitudes.

There’s something to be said about Gabriel’s idea of what exactly the “greater good” is. He still seems to think that the “greater good” is little more than winning the argument against the legions of Hell, which seems quite ridiculous: imagine holding the outcome of an argument in higher regard than the consequences that the event of said argument would have. But then I suppose that’s largely what war is – two parties adamant that they’re right, trying to force the other to concede. We as the audience are likely to see the preposterousness of Gabriel’s stance in this particular instance because the consequences include the obliteration of the entire human race and the planet that they reside on. Still, the principal is the same, and ultimately I feel like world peace is entirely possible, in both the show and in real life, if people simply respected the right to an alternative point of view.

We also see the recurrence of a running theme in this scene – the idea that “what” you are defines your nature by default.

Don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine. I’m the Archangel Fucking Gabriel.

This statement is something akin to stating that all hedgehogs must, by default, be irritable (or… prickly… *tumbleweed* I’ll get my coat), and in fact we have come to understand that this ingrained attitude as to what constitutes a “good” or “bad” could actually, in and of itself, be construed as a “bad” quality to have, and that being capable of seeing nuance is an inherently “good” quality to have. The irony of that statement is almost philosophical, isn’t it? Still, we get to hear John Hamm use the F word, possibly proving that Aziraphale’s reluctance to use it isn’t necessarily because he’s an angel (which just hammers all of that point home even further).

Let’s take a quick look at a couple of things we see from Crowley (as Aziraphale) prior to his entering the Hellfire. Firstly, his use of the phrase “for Heaven’s sake”.

It’s a little different from the last time we saw Crowley using the same phrase.

I don’t know whether this much easier delivery of the same phrase is because he’s in Aziraphale’s body (issued to him by Heaven) or if he’s having to exercise a monumental amount of restraint as he says it. It doesn’t look like the latter, but he’s been doing a pretty good job of keeping his own mannerisms under control up to now, so why would this be any different? After all, the Hellfire reacts to the being that inhabits a body rather than to the original source for that body, so you’d think this principle would apply for other matters to.

The second thing I want to take a look at is this glance Crowley (as Aziraphale) takes at his captors before he steps into the Hellfire:

It’s so beautifully knowing. He knows full-well what’s about to happen as he steps in the column of flames: absolutely nothing. He’s checking in to make sure his cover is still intact before he takes his leap of faith.

There’s an interesting difference between the reactions from Heaven and Hell in the aftermath of the punishment being applied. Both parties are, understandably, terrified. Hell’s assessment of the situation is that Crowley has “gone native”, even going so far as to say he isn’t one of them anymore (I don’t really think he was ever truly “one of them” though, was he?). This is an accusation we have heard before, not always so explicitly stated, levelled at both Aziraphale and Crowley by their respective employers. In this instance, we are to take it that they think he has become human, or at least more human than demon. I don’t think the Heavenly hosts would be able to come to the same conclusion – presumably a human would be consumed by Hellfire just like an angel would. It’s my belief that their assumption, based on their accusation that he is a traitor to Heaven and therefore siding with Hell, is that he has somehow converted to a demon, or that he is on the way to becoming one. I find this difference interesting, as it suggests that, whilst Heaven still firmly believe the antithesis of their agenda lies in Hell, Hell in turn believes that the worst thing a being could possibly be is human. Stripping all of the philosophy and theology out of the situation, what’s important is that neither Heaven nor Hell are aware that a body swap scenario was a possibility, and both believe there has been a fundamental change in their accused.

I also find the individual responses of Crowley and Aziraphale (in their respective other half’s body) to the outcome of the punishments to be rather charming.

There’s something really special about knowing that, despite the work they’ve both done to make sure they’re acting as the other one would, they cannot help their true personalities from coming through when they’re enjoying themselves: Aziraphale (as Crowley) playing the situation with his intelligence and resulting wit, and Crowley (as Aziraphale) choosing instead to strike fear into his captors with harmless mischief (rather like we saw him do to the paintballer at Tadfield Manner).

Let’s talk Michael’s reaction to seeing (Aziraphale as) Crowley in the bath. Subtitle capitalisation is taken from the Script Book, rather than being my own emphasis.

I know I’ve seen this discussed in other posts, so I won’t dwell on it too much, I just wanted to acknowledge that firstly there is a definite question mark over the use of phrase here. Is it just an exclamation or is there something more subtextual going on? I vote the latter because… well because I’ve watched the show really. And I don’t think the scripted words are ever used without thought to their meaning, overt or otherwise. Secondly, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen a verbal reaction to Crowley’s presence containing the “L” word. Remember Paris, 1792?

Did I just use this tiny scripting point to so I could revisit that incredibly hot look Aziraphale gives Crowley in the Bastille? 100% I did. Sue me. However, there is an important difference here that the angel also uses the word “good” in his exclamation. I don’t think Aziraphale has ever truly considered Crowley to be anything other than at least a little bit good, so that does make a lot of sense.

Theirs is something of an odd paradox in Anathema burning the second volume of Agnes’s prophecies, isn’t there? Because Agnes, being the incredibly gifted psychic that she clearly was, should have foreseen that the copy given to Anathema after Armageddon is averted would be burned. So why send the box at all? More importantly, is there perhaps another copy that she wrote and kept somewhere else? There is a nice symmetry in Newt helping Anathema to burn the pages though, seeing as his ancestors have a history of burning her actual family members. I’m sure it’s meant to be symbolic that he’s present for the literal burning away of the things that tie Anathema to the past, and I can’t help but feel like his own unpleasant ancestral ties are being erased at the same time.

There is so much tying up of subtextual ends in Adam’s final scene, it’s rather difficult to know where to being. Let’s first address the non-so-subtextual confirmation that, at this point in time at least, he has retained some of his powers.  

We have a few more hints at the idea that people are forgetting what happened the day before, firstly when Wensleydale asks Adam what happened, and again with this line from Adam:

Tomorrow will be alright. They’ll have forgotten by then. They always do.

Then there is, of course, the reference not only to a garden, but of having to leave it, and that his leaving would be the result of a choice he makes to right a wrong. The informed choice that Adam makes here forms the ending of the book, and serves to prove God’s prophecy from the beginning of episode one:

It starts, as it will end, with a garden.

Adam’s choice to leave the garden is, without doubt, a comparison to the departure of Adam and Eve from the original Garden of Eden. The difference here is that they were forced to leave because they chose knowledge and free will, whereas Adam leaves through choice because he already has free will. The parallels between the two situations don’t stop there either – Adam (Young) is next to be seen taking an apple from a tree, which he is forbidden to do (because it’s not his to take. Technically stealing I suppose, but hey, he’s the ex-Antichrist, he’s done worse) after he leaves his own “garden”. He takes it willingly, and of his own accord, rather than having been tempted as Eve was.

We also hear God telling us that Adam has an awareness that “something” was ending. I think it’s likely the “something” being referred to here is the innocence of childhood, particularly as he has now been made all too aware of the potential cruelties of human nature. And lastly, we have a pretty strong statement being made, not only about the idea that knowledge should never be considered as being owned and should always be shared, but also that the cost of the acquisition of knowledge is always worth the sacrifice it took to get it.

He couldn’t see why people made such a fuss about people eating their apples, but life would be a lot less fun if they didn’t. And there never was an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.

Quite beautiful really. That previous scene being the last we see of any of the characters other than Crowley and Aziraphale, we join the main couple in a park. By now it should be blatantly obvious that something is very different about both of them – their voices, speech, and (most obviously) postures are complete opposites of what we’re used to seeing from them. Crowley sitting bolt upright with his hands clasped in his lap whilst Aziraphale’s slouch is so severe it looks like he poured himself into the bench. What I love about this is that we’re being shown the extent to which both of them have had to fight to hide what comes most naturally to them. What’s even nicer to see is that they drop all hint of pretence now that they’re back in each other’s company again. And just so we can see how perfectly David and Michael are at copying each other, just observe how little movement there is between the before and after body swap reversal in their postures.

They each managed to set themselves up to sit like the other pretty much exactly. Very impressive. And of course, the red collar is back, which Crowley (as Crowley now – thank goodness I don’t have to keep writing those confusing sentences out anymore) actually draws attention to. It does make me wonder if the only purpose of the tartan collar was to have something tangible that could be pointed out after the fact. The change in tone of voice, speech, gait, and behaviours could be argued as objective, but a piece of material that’s a completely different colour? That can’t be argued as being fundamentally different from the norm. And it’s subtle, which I don’t think could have been achieved with something about Aziraphale’s outfit (for instance, changing his bow tie from tartan to red).

I think it’s so telling that it takes the pair of them next to no time at all to settle into their old comfortable ways. Aziraphale for instance, can hardly keep his eyes off Crowley once they’re restored to their normal bodily states. In fact, he’s back to flirting at the first opportunity. Check out this gorgeous little side eye and gooey gaze:

And he’s so desperate to tell Crowley what he did that was so clever. Almost like he would pop if he didn’t tell someone about it… We will of course later come to find out that this little personality trait is apparently one of the only reasons that Aziraphale calls Crowley, so it’s actually quite nice to see that this behaviour isn’t something he limits to interactions that aren’t in person. What his anecdote from Hell does tell us is that they do not have any access to the memories that were made in their own body during the body swap – they apparently go with the essence of the being that inhabited the body at the time the memories were formed.

I do not believe for a second that Crowley’s mention of “leaving the garden” is simply there to wrap up the story line. Both he and Aziraphale will be well aware of the connotations that go along with that statement, having been present when the original residents of the original Garden were forced into the wilderness. And whilst there’s a feeling that the angel and the demon are also wandering into the wilderness, they are doing so under their own free will, which they have actually been exercising for millennia. The difference now is twofold: firstly, they have no intention of returning to the false promise of safety that the garden (aka affiliation with a Heavenly or Hellish authority) proffers them. Secondly, their free will, and their choice to exercise it, is no longer forbidden, and whilst both Heaven and Hell may not approve of their friendship, relationship, or any other consequence of their free will, they no longer have any authority over them. They have in a very real sense of the word, been set free. Leaving the “garden” is really just a metaphorical way of them stretching their wings (no pun intended) before taking full flight into their newly gained freedom.

Ah, wasn’t that all really beautiful? Well, don’t get used to it, Crowley’s about to lower the tone.

Did ya see it? Let me see if I can make it a bit more obvious:

Maybe it’s me and my dirty mind, but that invitation to lunch looks like it comes with a much more personal invitation from Crowley… I mean, even if we disregard that fairly blatant “presentation” of what’s on the menu for Aziraphale, let’s remember that it’s my belief Crowley enjoys watching the angel eat. And yes, I do believe that watching Aziraphale eat is a sexual (or perhaps sensual) experience for him. So him asking the angel to go to lunch with him is far from an innocent invitation in my opinion. That last point is perhaps underlined by Crowley’s use of the word “tempt”, which he would have historically done to lessen or destroy the innocence of others. And Aziraphale has absolutely no hesitation in taking him up on the offer. So absent is his hesitance in fact that it seems to me that his acceptance of Crowley’s temptations is something he is very used to doing. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

It's my view that we would be foolish to think that this lunch at the Ritz is anything other than a date. We know that this is one of the things Aziraphale suggested that they do in that awful car conversation in 1967. We know that they have been there before on at least one occasion. Aziraphale’s choice of venue tells us everything that we need to know about things between the two of them being set to rights. I’m sure Aziraphale knows that his offer comes with un underlying offer of peace between them, and when you see Crowley’s reaction to the offer, I’m pretty sure that he knows it too. He looks impressed, a little surprised, but most of all, happy.

I don’t think I need to go over the song used in the soundtrack here. I know I have written a lot of words about this season, but I think that my running word count would look pretty pathetic if we were to count up all the words written about the choice of “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” being played at this particular point in the storyline. So let me simply highlight the particular part of the lyrics that make it the absolutely perfect choice as the closing song for this season:

There was magic abroad in the air There were angels dining at the Ritz And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square

Right, that’s that addressed. Despite the fact that there are less than 2 minutes left in this episode, there’s still so much to talk about.

Aziraphale’s furtive glance at Crowley before the champagne is poured; the loving gaze he gives him to assure him that his assessment of him being a “good” is meant in love and not in animosity; Crowley’s acceptance of the compliment with his own look of resignation; Crowley’s loving gaze as he awaits the angel’s response to being told he’s a “bastard”; Aziraphale’s acceptance of the return compliment suggesting that it might just be the best thing anyone has ever said to him: all of these things are enough to melt my heart, but they are NOTHING compared to this:

Or perhaps, more precisely, this:

I said Aziraphale couldn’t take his eyes off Crowley, didn’t I? That lingering gaze he rests on his demon’s face after the toast is complete genuinely makes my stomach flip. It’s beyond gorgeous. And it would be horribly remiss of me not to talk about the toast itself. Aziraphale proposes they toast to the World. On a surface layer, this would appear to be in reference to the fact that they have just saved it. But. But. They look each other in the eyes when they’re actually making the toast. Because they are each other’s world. It might have sounded like the toast is in recognition of their part in saving the world, but really, it’s to them. I appreciate that this is probably going over old ground, but I need to get it written down so that the words can stop going around my head.

I do want to do a tiny bit of backtracking to look at the way that they compliment each other on being “good” and “bad”. It does not escape my attention that Aziraphale refers to Crowley as “a good person”. Not simply “good” or a “good demon”. A good person. I think this follows up on the conversation that they had with Adam in the time bubble, that they now think of themselves as closer to humans than to their respective ethereal beings. Not only that, but there are no more arguments between them about being a little bit good, or a little bit bad. I think this probably applies more to Aziraphale than to Crowley, but they’ve come to the full realisation that you don’t have to be all “good” or all “bad”. And with that realisation, comes the knowledge that each of them having their own “good” and “bad” qualities actually make them a better partnership, because they compliment each other so beautifully. They “cancel each other out”, as Crowley so eloquently said. He was only about 1000 years ahead of Aziraphale on that one. But most importantly, it’s the supposed “flaws” in their characters, the bits they’re not supposed to have, that actually interest and attracts them to each other.

As we leave our beloved pair, we see one last act of affection from each of them.

It’s so subtle. Not only does Aziraphale reach for Crowley across the table, he switches the champagne glass to his other hand in order to do it. He places the glass next to his right hand so that the hand closest to Crowley will always be free, presumably in an effort either to flirt with its presence near to something of Crowley’s (mind out of the gutter please, this is the Ritz) or to actually make contact. And Crowley’s returns the gesture with silent attentiveness. It’s so charming to see him just watch Aziraphale babble away, fixing his gaze on the angel’s face. At least that way it won’t be weird when he deliberately stares at him whilst he’s eating…

I have one last thing to say about this episode, and it’s actually about a character that we have been acquainted with from the very beginning of the show, yet observe so little about. It’s God. Sounds like a pretty bold statement about religion in general I know; it’s not meant to be. I’m not about to go off into some sort of religious diatribe about how the voice of God has been guiding the audience through the story blah blah blah (did I mention I’m Pagan?), I merely wanted to point out that God has been narrating this last part of the story of the demon and the angel that are in love. Does she sound disappointed or unapproving at all? She really does not. In fact, it sounds like she’s pleased. And when she talks about the nightingale in the Square, she sounds a little smug, proud almost. It makes me wonder if this was her way of blessing the partnership. And if she’s blessing it, doesn’t that mean it was all part of the Ineffable Plan in the first place? I guess that might come to light in season 3, but for now we’ll just have to wait and see…

You know the drill by now. Questions, comments, discussion: always welcome!

[lavendermage]

Lost in Inazuma 9

Characters: Ayato, Heizou, Thoma

Genre: Sagau

TW: None? (Feel free to tell me if I missed anything.)

1.9k words

AN: I’m sorry for disappearing, I’ve just been exhausted recently. 

The crowd murmured amongst themselves. All the cooks and guards and servants were gathered in the garden. Ayato stood in front, his sister beside him. When he spoke everyone fell silent.

“I assume you’ve all heard about an incident two nights ago. There was an assassination attempt against our house keeper.” 

The whispers started again. Ayato coughed and they stopped just as quickly.

“Thankfully, one of the servants held the assassin off until my sister could apprehend him.” He looked at you and the crowd followed his gaze. You could feel their stares pricking your skin. Everything told you to run but you held still. “There is an investigation to discover the motive, but I can safely say that something like this will not happen again. Unfortunately, due to the ongoing investigation, I can’t share more details at the moment.”

He left, leaving you alone with the others. They swarmed around you.

“It was you wasn’t it?” A maid asked excitedly.

You raised your hand to wave off the comment but your sleeve fell to reveal your bandages. A planned mistake, but a believable one. 

“That looks pretty bad.” One of the guards commented.

“Well, I’m not a fighter so…”

“So it was you!” The maid exclaimed.

You looked to Thoma for help, only to see that he was in a similar predicament. You thought about going to help before being dragged back by someone tugging your sleeve.

“Your uniform is different.” You recognized this girl, Chiyo. She had introduced herself when you first came to the estate.

“Yes, the doctor said I should wear looser clothing as my wounds heal.”

“It’s very nice.” She rubbed the fabric between her fingers.  “Good quality.”

“Yes."

“Hmm.”

“We really should go get our work done.” You walk off, hoping the staff will leave you alone. They did, except for Chiyo.

“What work would that be?”  She asked suspiciously. “You haven’t been assigned to anything difficult and your schedule is very open.”

“Most of my work is unplanned so it wouldn’t show up on the schedule. If there is too much to do, you can just ask. I’m always happy to help.” Now is not the time to make enemies.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“Thank you.” You held back your sigh and forced a smile. Thoma was still being questioned by the guards. You walked over to help.

“So what were they doing in your room so late at night?” One of the male servants teased.

“I told you, that’s not for me to share.”

“What a gentleman!” The guard laughed, slapping Thoma in the back. 

“It- it’s not like that!” Thoma stuttered. He turned his face away only to end up face to face with you. “Ah!” He covered his face with his hand. “It’s you..”

His hand did little to hide the blush that reached all the way down his neck. 

“Thoma, you could have just told them.” 

Ayato had scripted a response for him, but he had clearly forgotten. You didn’t blame him. He got flustered easily with these sorts of conversations. You sighed and turned to the others. “I had a nightmare that night, so I went to Thoma for help. On the way there I found the assassin. There isn’t anything more to it, we’re just friends.”

“Good luck, Thoma.” One of the guards whispered with a thumbs up.

You tilted your head slightly. “What do you mean?

“Nothing, nothing. I’ll be on my way.” He waved of your comment as he left.

you turned your attention back to Thoma. “So, are you ready?” 

“For what?”

“I’m heading to the market to get herbs.”

“Ahh.” He avoided your eyes. “Well…”

“You signed up for more work, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but I’ll get all my work done early and then-”

“You won’t have enough time, the market closes at noon.”

“I’m sorry.” He drooped, looking like a kicked puppy.

You reached out and patted his head. “It’s alright, I’ll get you some dango. What flavor do you want?”

“Red bean paste…” He answered absentmindedly. “Will you be going alone?”

“Don’t worry about it." You picked up your basket and headed to the gate. "Good bye!" Your hands shook. It had been a long time since you were out on your own. You always dragged Thoma out with you, sticking to his side like a scared kitten. It was embarrassing. You couldn’t keep bothering him. He had work to do. Lost in your thoughts, you ran into somebody.

“Where are you headed?”

You looked up to see Ayato. “I’m headed to the market, my lord.”

He winced at the title. “Why must you keep calling me that?”

“I have to keep up appearances, no?”

“I guess so.” He shook his head. “Doesn’t Thoma usually go with you?”

“He’s working, so I’m going alone.”

“Please, allow me to accompany you.” He held out his hand.

Part of you wanted to say no. You still didn’t trust him completely, and he probably had his own pile of work to do. The other part of you won. “Thank you.” You ignored his hand though and it fell back to his side. 

“So, how are your living arrangements?” He tries to fill the silence as you walk.

“Very nice, thank you.” 

“You are still wearing your uniform.”

“Yes.”

“May I ask why.”

You held up a finger. “One: people are less likely to cause trouble if they know I’m with the Kamisato household. Two: I don’t have other clothes to wear.”

“You don’t have other clothes?” He stared at you.

“No, why would I? It’s not like I go out enough to justify spending mora on fancy clothes.”

“Still, to only have one outfit…”

“Don’t worry, I have two.”

“Two?”

“Two uniforms, so I can keep them clean.”

He stayed silent the rest of the walk, leaving you with the unsettling feeling he was plotting something. The market was quieter than usual. You kept track of when it was most active and planned your trips accordingly. 

You stopped by the old lady’s stall first. She had already prepared the teas you always bought, used to your regular visits.

“Good morning, ma’am.” You bowed. “Thank you.” You reached for your purse and found - nothing? After looking around for a minute you gave up. “I’m so sorry, I’ll come by tomorrow-”

“No, just take it! You can pay later.” She pressed the bag into your hands.

“I can’t take it without paying!” You pushed it back towards her. 

Ayato chuckled behind you. “Here.” He held your hand and dropped a coin purse into it. “You shouldn’t be spending your own money to buy tea for the estate.”

“Thank you, my lord.” You dropped the coins into the tray. “Here’s the extra.” You tried to hand it back to him but he refused. 

“Use this to cover the expenses of this shopping trip and keep the remainder.” He slipped the shopping bag out of your hand. “However, I will be carrying this.”

“My lord, allow me to carry it.” You grabbed at the bag but he just swung it away from you.

“Didn’t you learn about the magic word?” He teased. How old was he, six?

You groaned. “Ayato, please.” 

He stilled and you took the chance to snatch the bag from his hands.

“Thank you.” You huffed. After another moment of silence you started to worry. “Are you alright, my lord?”

“Yes.” He coughed. “Follow me.” He led you down the road to the Laquerware shop. "Miss. Yayoi, did you complete my commission?"

The lady looked up from her work before jumping to her feet. "Yes, Commissioner, but I have a few things I need to confirm."

"Alright."  He looked at you. "This will take a minute."

You nodded and wandered off to the food stalls a few steps away. The coin purse in your hand was quite heavy, so you didn't have to worry about the cost. The takoyaki smelled great, and you could see a boba stall nearby too.

"One order of takoyaki, please!"

The vendor threw in one extra with a smile. "This is for that tea you gave my kid." He shook his head. "I don't know what you put in that thing, but his cold immediately cleared up."

"It's nothing, I'm glad I could help. Thank you for the food." You bowed and turned away only to come face to face with a smiling detective. "Heizou?"

He grinned. "So you know my name! That makes introductions a bit easier. Mind if you share yours, so we're even?" He leaned in.

"Goldie." You steadied your breathing. His face mixed with the memories of that night. The forest, the moonless night, the sound of a million heavy footsteps as you hid. The clouds uncovering the moon when he found you, the new light offering a clear view of your face. 

His gaze was calculated but not cold. "Beautiful mask. You mind if I look closer?" 

"I'm not taking it off." You held it to closer your face. 

"Don't worry, I just want to check this chip on the side." His hand reached out but was caught by another hand.

"Heizou, what are you doing?" Ayato's voice was colder than you've ever heard it.

"So what is your relationship to this mystery person, Commissioner?" Heizou asked, his voice slightly teasing.

"None of your concern." Ayato said. You watched in horror as his hand drifted to his blade. You pressed your hand to his, stopping him.

Heizou watched with amusement. "Interesting." He took a step towards you, observing Ayato's reaction. 

Ayato tensed. 

"There's more going on here, isn't there?" He laughed. “I’d love to investigate further.”

Ayato just smiled back, but you could feel his fingers twitch under your hand.

You sighed and stepped between the two. "Investigate as much as you want, detective, but don't share anything until you have the whole story."

Heizou smiled. "Of course, of course. Anything else to say?"

"Thank you.”

“For what?” He asked, though you both knew. That night, when he saw your face he turned away. He led the army away from you. You didn’t know why he did it, and maybe neither did he, but he chose to lie to save you. Just as he recognized you now, no matter how much he played at ignorance. 

But you said nothing and walked away, dragging Ayato after you. “What was that commission for?” You asked.

He didn’t speak for a moment. He looked away seemingly a bit embarrassed, before handing you a box. “See for yourself.” 

You opened it and unwrapped the soft fabric around the piece. It was a mask, with two red horns and a grin revealing long, sharp teeth. The mask itself was a rust red with gold details. A purple and white rope hung on either side. “Is this…”

“Yes, I’ve heard that you are close with Itto. He cares an awful lot about you. He’s the one who convinced me to hire you, if you haven’t already realized.” He smiled, with a hint of something else behind the expression. “I thought that you might find something like this comforting. Especially since…” He trailed off, not wanting to bring up the chip in your old mask.

“Thank you.” You started to untie the mask from your face. Ayato immediately stepped closer to hide your face with his body. You slipped on the new mask and looked up to him. “It fits perfectly.” You looked up at him with your smiling mask. “Thank you.”

[catluniscia]

Clea Strange

Doctor Strange has a wife in the comics or had I don't know relationships are at the moment, all I know is the outfit she is currently in inspiring and I wanna have fun drawing swishy clothing with rips and stuff...also I really hate that window, which I had to make by hand like 10 times because the things wouldn't line up right, I hope to make it noticeable with all my hard work. (context this was written in late September when only 2 episodes of Agatha All Along had posted)  I really hope she is in Agatha All Along, like I would like there to be more cool bad ass magic users in the universe, which is why I am excited for Agatha, but like I am also one of those who wishes the Marvel Project workers actually talked to each other and or had notes to pass along so things can line up better, Again Multiverse of Madness folks didn't know anything happening in Wandavision, and I really wish they did. I just wish Disney/marvel would stop doing quantity and did quality but you know too much to ask I guess -sips drink- I know Clea is in Multiverse of Madness, and um. I saw her outfit...it's very Marvel Movie. And yes that is a semi insult. Like her concept art for the movie is fine, I like it, but something about it going from Concept to movie something happened and it went from fine, to eh, like it's better than the whole CGI made costumes cause CGI folks aren't unionized yet and there for over worked, but like I don't know maybe the photos I saw aren't that good quality, Mind you online its only like one photo and it isn't even a full body one. Or its badly photoshopped, or AI, which god don't get me started on that rant. Also when looking up I found out there is this fan trailer for Doctor Strange 3 and Google it keeps acting like its legit and like its so obviously fan made it looks...y'all remember when you would photoshop yourself to your fave character, or do ship art? And the quality was clearly photoshopped? That's what the trailer thumbnail looks like to me, like No shit onto the person making this fan trailer, like find your joy would love some more bad ass ladies in the MCU but GOOGLE its clear and bloody obvious its a fan trailer please stop acting like it's legit.  Sorry I think I just zoned out and started ranting about google trying to show fake things as legit as well as complaining about costuming directions in modern movies. UUUUHHHHHH Anyway this is the full art, and I am rambling like crazy and should take a nap, please enjoy this artwork I did and all the texture and detailing. I want a nap and a cookie.

[gryphis-eyes]

⊙ Message from spirits

⊙ Welcome to this very simple but (I hope) useful pick a card, I know its been a while and here is my last attempt to get back to tumblr haha.I don’t have more to say , hope you’ll get the message that will light the fire in your !

⊙ How to pick a pile ? There are differents ways to do it, you can do a little meditation while thinking about the 3 images, you can also use a pendulum, remember to listen to your intuition while chosing and reading the messages those are general reading so not everything will be for you or it will ask you to interpret it based on your situation

◇ Deck used : Rider Waite, Shakespeare Oracle, Phenix Oracle

⊙ Pile 1 : The Cat

Cards ; 3 of cups, 6 of swords R " Tis true. The wheel is come full circle; I am here. ”

One day things go up and one day things go down, such is the nature of Fortuna’s actions. The cards are showing me those 3 muses singing with their cups full of sweet beverage while on the other side of the reading someone is struggling on their boat, going against this raging river’s flow. Some of you seems to be tired of life, you're always fighting, barely resting while other people seems to roam freely through life. Its not fair isn’t it ? I feel like the main issue here is that you're going through a though period and it affect your mental a lot, so of course our brain’s first move is to look at others and be like ”damn look at them, so happy and relaxed while im in this burning house”. Do not throw yourself heartlessly into this path which seems to be the only one, do not look at other, look at you. You might be afraid to do a specific thing (new project ?) Because others seems to do it better or the idea you got already have been done but listen to me ; nobody is doing things better than someone else, succes doesn’t mean its better it just mean it touch more people but it doesn’t mean it is made of quality. That’s why we always got people talking about underated movies, music etc, nothing is better, things are just different. What matter isn’t how amazing you'll do but rather how you will do it because you are not anyone else’s mind, look at the story of the hero with a thousand faces it has been done so so many times in fictions but people dont always realise it, why ? Because all of those fictions have been done by different people so that’s why lord of the ring is so different from star wars. To be honest I was thinking about telling you to go slower but the phenix cards are really telling you to move and just do it ! Be serious about this project wether it mean actually writing a story and publishing it or starting writing it, you got nothing to lose.

⊙ Pile 2 : The Owl

Cards ; 3 of swords R, hangedman ” for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.To me it is a prison. ”

Ive heard ”a haunted heart” part from on the fence by tv girl in mind while reading your cards. I have no contexte about what happened to you but I can tell that it was a wild ride isn t it ? Sit down my dear its time to rest and listen. Whatever happened didnt happen out of the ”univers” cruelty or a ”blessing in disguise” what happened felt like an attack toward you (from your pov) wether its truly the case or not I dont know but I truly think the cards are reminding you to focus on the present since they are hiding the past from me. Do not search for the why, do not search for a blessing coming from it, what was good what was bad do not try to listen to thousand of readers who will tell you how to act (I mostly got those ”forgiveness” speech that every new ager are repeating). You dont need to focus on that past thing you need to focus on yourself and your needs from the present, not the needs you had 5 month ago. You should let your life calm down, put less effort in the world and put more effort for yourself wether its forcing you to have a self care moment or allowing yourself to have a lazy day or just sit down and do nothing but listen to music. The lyrics from ”after the storm” it carry the whole message im trying to give you. Basically, yes what happened suck but its not an excuse to give up on yourself.

⊙ Pile 3 ; The Snake

The lover, 3 of swords R

" The enemy increaseth every day; We, at the height, are ready to decline.There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat; And we must take the current when it serves, Or lose our ventures. "

It's time to risk it all my friend. I have no idea if It's a project, a ritual/spell (I get that most of you are into witchcraft or spiritual thing). See this snake going for the butterfly even if It's small and can avoid the snake’s strike easily, the reptile still go for it. It even look like the snake is using the obstacle in order to jump higher to catch the butterfly. (Idk why I get that you should try to watch samurai champloo). The advice here, is to look at everything that went bad or didn’t work in the past and ask yourself ”why” so now you'll be able to make your action more effective because you have grown a lot since the last time you try that thing or something similar. I feel a big burst of energy so its like everything is here, you just have to act. Like the snake, do not chase your goal or just walk around it until you saw the opportunity. Just go in front of it and strike ! With the Lover I see that this thing is dear to your heart or will light the fire in yourself again. You can do it, you have the power to do so, you can only gain good thing from this situation that will (above of making you happy) will heal something in yourself.

⊙

[avalonia320]

'...I fucked up two daughters...'

Switching a chapter to Daniel's POV is doing wonders for my writing motivation, plus playing with canon is always fun. I didn't expect a storyline from The Vampire Armand to show up in my head but here we go. I'm hoping to have the chapter up in a day or two; here's a scene with Daniel and his daughter, Kate.

***

“A few messages before I go,” Maia handed him his iPad. “Your daughter called again. Kate said to tell you specifically that if you keep avoiding her she’s going to give a tell all interview to Megyn Kelly. She wants to hear from you tonight;  she doesn’t care how late,” she grinned at his look of undisguised horror.

“Megyn Kelly?” He didn't try to hide his disgust. God, Kate was absolutely diabolical.

“I’d do it if I were you. She said she had one finger on speed dial. Also Dan Rather called again. Said you need to stop fucking around and schedule a sit down with him. He wants me to remind you that -”

“I owe him. Yeah. Not wrong, I’m working on it,” he reached out for the printout she had lying on the counter. “Is this my schedule for tomorrow evening?”

“Yep. Pretty jam packed. Too bad we can’t shift some things to daytime hours,” Maia smiled a little too brightly.

“I told you. I gotta match Lestat’s schedule when the tour kicks into gear, or I’m never going to get any footage for the documentary. Might as well try to change my sleeping schedule now, right?”

“Of course,” Maia’s placid smile wasn’t fooling him at all.

After Maia left, Daniel sat down on the counter to drink his coffee. Before he perused his schedule, he picked up the phone and with a deep breath, dialed Kate’s number.

“Dad!”

“Hey sweetheart!  How are you?”

“Absolutely pissed that you’ve been ducking my calls for the past year, that’s how I’ve been,” Kate was never one to beat around the bush. It was one of his favorite qualities about his eldest.

“I know. I’ve been busy with the books and the media blitz has been crazy. I’m sorry, kid. I was thinking of you though. Have you been getting the deliveries and the-”

“Yes, Dad. We got the new SUV. The vacation packages. The college accounts and trust funds you’ve set up for the kids, not to mention their Christmas shopping spree to Harrod’s. And I don’t know if it’s your new assistant’s doing or not, but I’ve been quite impressed with that fact that you’ve remembered the girls’ names for the first time ever and actually seem to know how old they are and what hobbies they’re into. It’s nice. But what I really need is for you to show the fuck up. You owe me a hell of a lot of explanation about what's going on with you.”

“OK, look, I’ll talk to Maia about scheduling-”

“Whatever,” Kate sounded more resigned than angry. “We’ll circle back to that. Right now, we need to talk about Sybelle.”

“Sybelle,” Daniel said the name of his youngest daughter quietly. “I just spoke to her doctor yesterday. He said she’s doing as well as can be expected, considering her condition, but no real improvement.”

“Yeah, same thing he tells us every month. Fox isn’t letting us see her anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ryan and I haven’t been able to visit Sybelle for two months now. Fox won’t let us any more. He says the visits are making her worse. That’s absolute bullshit. She loves seeing the kids. I don’t trust him, Dad. And I think he’s paying off Dr. Reeves. That guy says the most generic bullshit whenever I talk to him. He just parrots whatever Fox wants in therapy speak. Can’t answer a specific question, it’s like he’s never actually been to see her. I finally threatened to call the cops and since then Fox has let me talk to her on the phone sometimes but she sounds out of it.”

“Well, honey, this is Sybelle we’re talking about.”

“Shut the fuck up!” he was not prepared for the near scream from his normally tightly controlled daughter. “I’m telling you something is wrong! I’m telling you we need you! Are you going to listen for once? Because I swear to God, if you put me and Sybelle on the bottom of your to-do stack again, this is it. You’ll be dead to me from here on out.”

**

(yes, for the Vampire Chronicles readers, Sybelle is exactly who you think she is. 😉)

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch: Look at the Princess Part 2, 2x12

I just love this shot of Crichton:

Farscape summed up:

This ep has one of my favorite scenes: Crichton in space, out-crazing Scorpius, and rescuing himself through sheer insanity. He goes full-on unhinged, using the fact that yes, he is willing to die rather than submit, than be tortured and experimented on.

He takes this and runs with it...and it’s probably the most unhinged we’ve seen him so far tho not as unhinged as he’s going to get and just...

The whole scene is miles more unhinged than my few caps can do it justice but also, only Farscape can get away with rotating between dark despair and pure unhinged hilarity at the speed of light - I mean here is John forcing Braca’s gun towards his right hand yelling “kill my sex life!” UMMM god this show!

PS They are literally gonna have this as ep title later.

Also, yet another instance where dark humor is his lifeline and coping/defense  mechanism. He never loses it, this is how he keeps semi-sane.

This is the first time he hears the chip, isn’t it? That scene is amazing, and heroic, and all sorts of heart-breaking. Because it saves him now but also this is a small appetizer of what it will be like for John to have the voice of his torturer control him, to remove volition. Crichton’s will is extreme, can-move-mountains kind of quality and the chip will strip it from him, just as it will force him to go against all his instincts and feelings and it’s going to be a horror.

Of course, what Scorpius, who has notably recognized John as another individual by now, even if that recognition is in shape of wanting to triumph over him, it’s still a step up from ‘lab rat’ view of the rest of the world, what Scorpius isn’t reckoning with, yet, that Crichton would rather die, literally, than surrender himself, so he better find some other lever, because threatening his life would never work. He eventually does, in s4, Aeryn, and I always found it telling that Grayza, overall nowhere near as brilliant as Scorpius, figures that lever out faster because Scorpius is hampered by his considering any genuine emotion as not worthy of consideration.

But yeah, this really does put Crichton through a ringer and I really love that his falling apart does not make him weak, it makes him human and makes any triumph all the more worthy.

I find myself both understanding Aeryn in this ep, and being very frustrated by her. She wants all these things from Crichton, but she won’t give an inch, or a hint, or a hope in return. The only reason this marriage bugs her is because she loves him because from every other vantage point, it’s a good good thing, and it’s not as if she is from species which believes you can’t marry without romantic love. And Crichton can fight even when broken, as he proves over and over, but he needs something to fight for and now he doesn’t have anything and she is not willing to provide it. The scene where he wants something - some hint that she will return his feelings and she can’t give it to him due to her own demons gets me. He is at a low point and he has nothing to cling to and she can’t give him that something because she herself is not sure she can survive giving any piece of her heart away.

I do love her ‘diplomacy’ with Katralla and Jenovia:

And the awesome putdown line to Casanova guy of ‘it’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you.’ Heh.

But she didn’t even show up at the wedding. Oh Aeryn. So brave in battle, so good at running away emotionally. And D’Argo is being an awesome friend in this one - willing to back up John in whatever,no agendas (unlike Rygel and Aeryn, tho those two have them for different reasons) and his ‘good news/bad news’ cracks is one of my fave things ever but also really does leave John on a happy note going into a crazy situation:

and John bitchslapping Prince Clavor and the story with Zhaan and Moya and Pilot that makes me cry in the sheer defenseless peace and resignation of the ship and pilot and righteous rage of Zhaan.

In conclusion. Yeah, it’s Farscape all right.

[poochyhyena]

MEGA CAT PROJECT: Real vs Counterfeit

So I’m obsessed with Megahouse’s Mega Cat Project line of figures, which means I’ve been buying them second hand in order to get the blind box figures I want.

In doing so I have ended up buying a counterfeit off of Mercari, and since I received the actual figure today (ordered off eBay) I decided to do a comparison of the two figs since I haven’t seen that yet for these figures in particular!

Please enjoy my overly thorough comparison below the cut :)

Right outta the gate, my advice for spotting a counterfeit is, like for any figure to ask for more photos. When I bought the counterfeit figure the photo was low quality and taken with bad lighting which made it hard to see any details. I've seen other ones where they are even inside a plastic bag to add to the 'realism'. **EDIT** wild statement from me here, they’re in plastic bags bc that’s how they get them from the people they bought them from (likely off of AliExpress or smthn I’m seeing listings with review photos that have the fakes)

The easiest photo to ask for is the bottom. If you’re finding it tricky to tell if it is real, the bottom is a bit of a giveaway.

As you can see the real figure has a mark that says “MH CHINA”, while the bottom of the counterfeit is just white.

This mark is present on all of the other Mega Cat figures I have. Interestingly the bottom of the Kakashi laying down has additional detailing, and the MH China mark is above the tail.

In addition to not having the stamp the paint quality isn’t as nice either. Counterfeit Luffy has blurry lines, and an overall more messy finish on the edges and sunflower design.

The coloring is also a little different, with the counterfeit being overall less vibrant which doesn't show up super well in the photos but it's really apparent in real life.

Next, the quality of the build of the figure. Which, honestly, isn’t horrible. The main issues are pretty apparent when you look at the side by side, notably the chest area on the counterfeit isn’t inlaid, rather it sits almost level with the shirt - there’s actually space in between the bottom of this piece and the rest of the figure. Additionally, there is extra bits of plastic sticking out from the sides that were never sanded down.

Overall, the structure looks almost blurry with the nose and collar folds not being as distinct. However, the detailing on the back of the hat is pretty good!

Another thing to note is that the counterfeit feels almost smoother, and is a little shinier.

Other than asking for more photos, a good thing to always consider is price. While you can definitely find these figures cheaper on Mercari (I tend to spend ~$16 vs $24 on eBay) beware of the figures that are suuuper cheap - I got my counterfeit for $10. I tend to trust the listings that come with a box, but that doesn’t mean that they are counterfeit if they don’t have one. The Kakashi figure in this post didn’t come with a box (and was bought off Mercari) and he is very much an actual Megahouse figure.

If you are looking for figures, I would scope out other sites so you can see which ones are more popular (more expensive) because that tells you which ones to be more careful with! Dressrosa Law from Nyan Piece, for example, is on the pricier side and if you look him up on Mercari you can probably find counterfeits (check the earrings, they look fur tone rather than yellow). Once you spend some time looking at photos of the real thing the counterfeits become more obvious.

If you are super worried, I recommend Suruga-ya, they are a resale store in Japan so there is little risk of counterfeits. Every so often they do free shipping internationally, and their prices tend to be cheaper than eBay. (I got my Zoro figure pictured above from there). But for me, Mercari and eBay have worked fine.

I hope this guide helps, and please enjoy your cat figures!! I have bought way too many - and if you are wondering counterfeit!Luffy is well loved and sits on my desk at work. :)

[thatfanficauthor107]

Nishiki Nishio headcanons because i need him WHATTT who saaid thattt :0

Includes: Fluff, angst, NO SMUT, neutral

o Found it really hard to adjust to living as a 'normal' member of society after living on the streets most of his life, especially then having to navigate a humans world as a ghoul.

o MAAAAJOR trust issues - grew up with 'every ghoul for themselves' and is struggling to get past it - but he is improving slowly

o will and has jumped at every and any sudden noise - especially to electrical/technology caused ones as he wasn't exposed to anything like that growing up

o doesn't celebrate his birthday because it was the same date his sister was killed, he doesn't see a reason to celebrate anything that day

o the dove who killed his parents is the same who killed his sister, and is hoping to get four for four.

o always stands where he can see everyone in the room and at least two possible exits - nervous habit he can't seem to shake

o always loots the bodies of people he kills, which was at first something he did when he was on the streets but now does subconsciously

o panic attacks.

o has sensory issues - bright lights, loud noises, busy places ect - wireless headphones are his best friend

o after he had fed from Kimi, he apologised for days over and over and over and over and over and had been expecting her to break up with him. He had been distancing himself from her until she confronted him and was genuinely confused when she didn't want to turn him over to the doves

o both craves the familiarity of the environments he lived in on the streets and avoids them as best he can as he can't healthily cope with the overwhelming emotion the memories cause him

o gets nightmares regularly

o sometimes scared to sleep and avoids it as long as he can just to avoid the nightmares when they get super bad

o has insomnia but if you get him to sleep when he’s comfortable mans is OUT

o bisexual (look me in the eyes and tell me his gayass is not a boy kisser)

o dyslexic (idk i just get vibes from him)

o Autistic (self projectionssss)

o always referred to as Ginger and has been compared to Ed Sheeran on multiple occasions (almost every day) (only by Touka) found it funny once. Now is ready to murder.

o lovess spiders. will pick them up and show them to people solely to scare them. he grew up where there was loads of bugs so he just isn't fazed anymore

o he tries his best to learn to cook for Kimi but holy fuck please do not let him

o do not let this man in a kitchen, ever. has accidentally burnt water and will do it again

o he isn’t the kind of person to yap, but if you get him to infodump, clear your whole afternoon he will spare no detail

o there's this one specific spot on the nape of his neck that if you fuss over when cuddling - oh goodness he melts! like purring/purring much louder instantly and body just completely relaxes

o was SO embarrassed when he first purred in front of Kimi, meanwhile she might have just fallen in love with this lanky idiot all over again

o he’s so touch starved

o if he falls asleep near/on you, then congratulations he trusts you a lot (especially if on)

o quality time (!!!!!)