#i really hope the quality isn’t showing up as bad as it looks for me rn 😭 it’s so crunchy

[kismetmoon]

(possible eyestrain warning)

giza for @entraptz !

[ID: a digital drawing of an original stylised Flatland character named Giza on a red background.

Giza is a humanoid creature with a round head and one large red eye. She is drawn as a grey outline that shows the shape of her sweatpants and the bangles on her wrists.

She is stood with her head tilted down while looking up at the viewer with a narrowed eye. Her right hand is held bent with a cigarette between her fingers. An outline of smoke is trailing from the cigarette. Her left arm is held down by her side with a silhouette of a black butcher knife in her hand in front of her legs. “Giza” is wrote beside her in all black capitals, with the letter “a” wrote as the anarchy symbol.

End ID].

doodles and an alternative / ‘normally’ coloured version under the cut (where i forgot that she doesn’t actually have a top point, sorry !) (no eyestrain warning) :

[ID: four digital drawings of Giza done on red backgrounds.

The first image shows the same drawing of Giza as above, but coloured in in a lineless style. She has dark grey skin with light grey patches on her shoulders and a sharp point on top of her head. She is wearing baggy grey sweatpants, two thin silver bangles on her right wrist and a thick silver bangle on her left. The cigarette is orange and white with a light grey smoke cloud outline. The butcher knife blade is the same red as the background.

The second image is an uncoloured doodle of Giza. She is kicking her leg out and has both her arms up with a butcher knife in her left hand. She is smiling at the knife.

The third image is another uncoloured doodle of her standing while facing the viewer and giving them the middle finger. She has an angry expression.

The fourth image is also an uncoloured doodle of Giza sat down and reading a book on the ground. She looks intrigued by the book. There is black writing beside her that says “reading :)”.

End ID].

[nereidprinc3ss]

drunk in love

in which fem!reader gets extra affectionate with spencer when she's drunk and he's just happy to be there

fluff! warnings/tags: drunk!reader, tooth-rottingly sweet fluff, spencer loves you so bad, short n sweet, that's it a/n: this is for the person who requested spencer taking care of drunk!reader and they're just being really cute and kissy and i lost your request i'm sorry but i hope you see this!! if you guys like this pls let me know, i have spencer helping drunk!r with a bath locked and loaded and its also so cute oh my god i love him goodnight

“Spence,” you say, voice pretty and airy as a song, pressing butterfly-light kisses with soft lips all over the side of his face. 

“What?” he asks fondly, fighting to keep his grip on you secure as you keep trying to fall down and bring him with you. This bar isn’t necessarily a dive, but he’s sure the floor is still sticky and he’s not interested in checking. 

“I really love you so much. I love you so much more than anyone else has ever loved anyone before.” It’s the fourth or fifth time you’ve told him you love him so much in ten minutes, but it doesn’t feel any less wonderful to hear. “Say it back!” you pout, settling against his chest. 

“You didn’t give me time to say it back,” he explains patiently, looking down at you and brushing hair behind your ear. “I love you so much, too, baby.”

Suddenly you’re too flustered and shy to make eye contact. 

“Call me that again.”

Spencer’s brow furrows. His smile flickers wider. 

“What? Baby?” You nod into his chest. He smooths your hair. “I call you baby all the time.”

“Because you love me?”

“Because I love you,” he agrees solemnly. 

You squeak, covering your face with your hands. Not for the first time tonight, he wonders what exactly was in those drinks Penelope kept ordering for you.

“Kiss?”

He gently grabs your wrists. 

“You have to show me that pretty face if you want a kiss.”

Your hands slide down your cheeks and you tilt your head up. Now that your face is on display, pretty and shiny in the low lighting, Spencer ducks down and kisses you sweetly, one hand on the back of your head, the other pulling your wrists down and out of the way. He makes sure to not let it go on for too long. There are still plenty of people around, but more saliently, you are quite drunk. 

“Good?” he asks, brushing a thumb over your cheek as he pulls away.

“Can we kiss forever?”

“We can try,” he muses. 

“I love you,” you say again, plainly. “I wish there was a word stronger than love. I feel like I’ve said love so much it’s lost all its meaning.”

“Keep saying it,” he encourages. “I like hearing it.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” you whisper. Spencer leans down for you to cup your hand to his ear clandestinely. Sweet vanilla perfume still clings to your warm skin, lingering on your neck, mixing with the smell of fruity cocktails on your breath and making him dizzy. “I think JJ has a crush on you.”

He chuckles, straightening. Grieving the loss of your scent for just a second in the back of his mind—until you’re pressing against him anxiously, and it returns. 

“JJ is married, babe. I don’t think so.”

You pout. 

“No, but I really think she does! It makes me sad!”

Spencer doesn’t believe it for a second, but he knows hard logic and persuasion aren’t really going to do much for you right now. So he loops an arm around your waist and reigns you in. 

“You don’t need to be sad, sweetheart. It doesn’t matter who has a crush on me because I have a crush on you.”

“Just me?” you ask anxiously. 

“Just you. You’re the prettiest girl in the world. I have a huge crush on you.”

He realizes his voice has taken on that saccharine quality that Derek would give him shit for, and it’s probably visible in his eyes as he leans close to you, but he doesn’t care at all. 

You raise your chin, wordlessly asking for another kiss. He delivers. The fabric of his shirt tugs where you grab onto it, attempting to bring him closer even when he draws away from the kiss. Of course he allows it, narrowly avoiding stepping on your toes as you pull him to you like a dog on a leash. 

“Can we go home? I wanna cuddle.”

Oh, yeah. If Derek were present he’d have the most ridiculous, shit-eating grin on his face right now. Luckily he’s not here right now, and even if he were, Spencer would still brush your hair aside and say, absolutely we can go home and cuddle. 

“Of course we can. Do you want to say goodbye to everyone?”

“Mm… can we Irish goodbye?”

He chuckles. 

“I think you should say thank you to Penelope for buying you all of those ridiculous drinks that are making you so nice.”

You make a face. 

“I’m always nice.”

“You’re not always this nice,” he reminds you with a small smile, resting his hands on your waist. You frown. 

“In my head I am.”

He kisses your head. It’s impossible not to. 

“I know. Come on, let’s say bye. I want to go home too.”

“You think I’m not usually nice?”

“Of course I don’t think that. I think you’re so nice.”

“Oh my god, can we get ice cream?” You gasp, already distracted and pulling him along by the hand as you weave through the sparse crowd. 

He smiles to himself, happy to follow your lead as long as you don’t let go. 

“We can definitely get ice cream. We can do whatever you want.”

[suugarbabe]

I would love habit, crush and love for Mattheo 😂😂😂 I know I’m greedy but this man just does something to me 🥵🥵

On the real, we’re all greedy for Mattheo. It’s a tad long so I cut it

Habit

Mattheo has a horribly bad habit of staring

His staring has two modes: completely dead and hyperfixating

When he finds something boring, he’s completely dead inside.

Low vacant eyes that seem like his mind is in another dimension

Draco or Theo snapping their fingers in front of him to bring him back to reality

But when it’s you it’s anything but dead eyes; he’s hyperfixated.

That’s how you figured out he was interested in you; you had caught him staring

About 45x in one day

Since you started actually dating all he does is stare at you

At your eyes and the light that sparkle when you’re talking about something you love

At your lips when they're freshly glossed and how he just wants to mess it up

At your ass and how dangerously short your skirt looks in DADA today

At your tits as their bouncing in front of his face while you ride him

Crush

Mattheo is a teasing crusher; almost like he’s in primary school again

He tugs on your ponytail/bun/hair and just smiles innocently when you turn around and glare at him

He bumps into you in the hall, giving himself the opportunity to catch you as well before flashing a dimpled grin and giving you a “sorry Princess”

He tosses chips and pieces of rolls down the table or across the great hall at you and when you whip your eyes towards him he’s turning his head and whistling like he’s innocent as can be

And he’s like this because he doesn’t know how to show true affection that isn’t just purely lust (let’s remember his examples growing up)

So when he grabs your hand at a house party and asks you to dance you wear a confused expression

You tell him you figured he didn’t like you with how he teased you

Which leaves him a flustered mess and forces him to explain that he really desperately has a crush on you

And if you’d let him make up the last few weeks he promises you won’t regret it

Love

Mattheo Riddle is incredibly insecure when it comes to love

He’s had such shit examples in his life that he doesn’t even realize that he is in love until Blaise and Luna are listening to him ramble on about you

And our sweet Luna just turns to Blaise with a “Isn’t it just an adventure seeing your friends fall in love?”

Then it hits him like a ton on bricks

Love? Thats why he thinks of you first whenever he wants to tell someone good news?

That’s why when he’s pissed off and you wrap your arms around his middle it’s like all his worries melt away?

But he’s never really experienced love, so how does he know you love him back?

He’d need constant reassurance in the beginning because he truly just can’t believe someone would really and honestly love him

But you don’t mind telling him daily, or singing his praises because you don’t think he’s heard about all his good qualities enough in his life

And you’d tell him again and again as much as he’d want because the way he looks at you (like you hung the fucking moon), Merlin you hope you see that every day

[needle-thread-thimble-spear]

RGU and the Transfeminine, Part 1

OR

Why Miki Kaoru is an Egg

Fig. 1: The Sunlit Garden

When I’d first watched through Revolutionary Girl Utena, Miki Kaoru was initially one of the characters I had the hardest time figuring out. Unlike the other poisoned sibling relationships in the show, Miki and Kozue’s didn’t really make much sense to me. I couldn’t decide how I felt about the character, whether he was “better” somehow than Touga, Saionji, or Akio, or if he was “just as bad”. And of course. What the hell is with that damn stopwatch dude??* Looking at fan writings afterward just deepened the confusion. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on what’s going on with Miki. It’s only after much re-watching, and introspection, that I think I’ve figured out why I’m so conflicted about the character. I’d like to share why- and hopefully along the way I can at least show that Miki is more interesting than many give him credit for. Click the readmore if you please!

(And, to be clear, what is written below is a reading, a blend of evidence from the text, from the subtext, and my own personal experience. I do not claim to be the first to interpret the character this way nor do I claim that this is the definitive read of the character. Nonetheless, I hope I can make my case to you!)

and, a big thank you to @empty-movement for collating all the high quality screengrabs and scans in this post!

Fig 2: Rookie Princes

While I’m not the first to notice, I think it’s frequently overlooked just how similar Utena and Miki are in the first arc. It’s definitely something that flies over the heads of many first-time viewers. But Miki and Utena, are extremely alike! Of course, they are both motivated by an unattainable image of the past, and Miki’s early episodes codify the “sunlit garden” into the RGU symbolic environment. But it’s more than just this. Utena and Miki both treat Anthy in basically the same way. Utena has an easy time convincing Miki that the dueling game is objectifying nonsense. That the principled thing is to leave the whole exercise behind and treat Anthy like a person. It isn’t very hard for Miki to convince Utena to duel him for her hand either. They both view themselves as her personal protector, and (while maybe at different times), both project their imagination of what she must be thinking onto her. Utena does a bit more than Miki to try and figure Anthy out, but it doesn’t take much for her to get swept up in her own image of prince. In both their minds, Anthy needs them to save her. And, when Anthy looks them in the eyes, and tells them. I’m not yours. It destroys them. Freezes them in their tracks, breaks their hearts. Screaming, its a lie, you can’t mean that! Of course they get along so well! They see themselves in one another, plain as day. Little rival princelings, seeking the affections of the same princess, but always with chivalry and good intention.

Fig 3: Heartbreak

But I think there is more to it than that! Miki and Utena (and later Nanami) are some of the youngest duelists (at least, without a black rose anyway). And, they have fairly similar relationships to the other members of the student council. Juri acts as an older friend, mentor, and source of advice for both of them. Its not unlikely that she sees her younger self in the two of them, and while she does very directly take this out on Utena, its her sword that Utena takes to her second duel with Touga. Indeed, Touga manipulates Miki and Utena in unsubtle and sexually aggressive ways, as compared to how he might treat Saionji or Juri. And for both, its their relationship to gender that he directly attacks. He attempts to break Utena’s spirit by turning her “back into a normal girl”, and for Miki he seems to challenge his masculinity. And while this may seem as though the two of them are being shoved in opposite directions, in both cases, Touga hits them in the same place. “You’re a prince then? I don’t think so. Unless you prove it”. Touga isn’t the only one to question Miki’s ability or status. Utena and Juri both tell Miki. You are much more suited to playing piano than dueling. The main difference here is that they tell him this with genuine compassion, but the implication is the same. You aren’t suited to this prince thing. Give it up.

I don’t think it’s just the audience who is conflicted slotting in Miki with the other “men”.

Fig 4: Strange Friends

Much ink has been spilled on Miki and Kozue’s relationship, but I do think there is one thing consistent across readings. There is a power struggle going on between them, and they’ve both got something to hold over the others head. Personally, I don’t believe there is any attraction between them. Rather, What’s Going On With Those Two is their mismatch in understanding their sexuality and the RGU concept of “Reality”, and the friction that creates in their image of themselves and one another. That reading may go as follows. Miki sees Kozue as acting dangerously and immorally. In his mind, she is his responsibility, to keep out of trouble at the very least. Perhaps he sees himself as needing to step in for their absent parents. So he sees himself as the mature and grounded one, a father figure needing to keep the both of them on the straight and narrow. Kozue on the other hand, sees Miki as being essentially blind to Reality (with a capital R). She believes he doesn’t have a good grasp of what sex is, or what adult relationships look like. She may believe that she understands what happened with their parents much better than Miki, and clearly sees that her brother is in danger with his creepy music teacher. So she sees herself as the mature and grounded one, needing to protect her brother both by warding off people who would take advantage of him and by getting him to grow up and see things as they Really are. Without their parents, they feel the need to take care of one another and control how the other approaches their sexuality. But in the end, it does seem that Kozue is the one who is better able to manipulate Miki’s behavior, helping Akio convince him to duel a second time. That Miki needs to grow up and accept what he wants. He sees a vision of Anthy, and he’s driving the akiomobile. And, with fearful realization, he discovers the identity of End of the World.

Fig 5: Fear

So then. Why should Miki be so hung up about his sexuality? It clearly makes him very uncomfortable. And why does he compare the sister he had in the past onto the one he has in the present? What’s so special about that sunlit garden, anyway? What is Miki Kaoru’s shining thing?

Let me spin a yarn, if you'll indulge me-

As far as Miki remembers it, when he was little things were perfect. His parents were still there, and he and his twin sister were thick as thieves. They would play piano together, and drink milkshakes. Things were simple and happy as far as he’s concerned, and while his childhood was not nearly as rosy as he remembers, it was certainly better than whatever he has to deal with now. Now his parents are gone for reasons he doesn’t quite understand, and his sister has drifted away from him and acts promiscuously. His body is starting to change, and it fills him with disgust. Worse still, he finds himself envying his sister for some reason. It all floods him with shame. He needs to fight those feeling with everything he has. Being very clever for his age, he finds himself the youngest member of the student council. He becomes involved with the dueling game as it is revealed to him, and goes along with it, not wanting to act out of place. He gets a crush on Anthy, and is unable to figure out what the hell he should do about it. Later, he meets Utena, and the two become fast friends. And how lucky, his new friend is roommates with his crush! She’s just so perfect. She’s kind, and quiet, and chaste, not at all like his sister. He feels a kinship with her. And in an act of cosmic fate- she plays for him his favorite childhood arrangement. It’s just as Touga says. He can’t let the world get to her, the way its getting to his sister. The way its getting to him. He needs to make sure that Anthy, and his memories, are safe. But alas- it seems she doesn’t feel the same way. She’d rather be with Utena. Hopefully, Utena can protect her where he cannot. Miki and Utena go back to being friends, and he nurses his hurt feelings privately. It wouldn't do to make a scene about it, and besides, it wasn’t appropriate for him to think of her like that anyway. Thinking about anyone like that. He can’t help but feel disgusted with himself for allowing it. Later, his relationship with his sister continues to deteriorate, and his father is remarrying. But he can stick by his principles, and stay out of it all, the dueling especially. Kozue, Touga, and Akio have other plans. He is confronted with Reality, and it terrifies him. He sees himself in the drivers seat, Anthy his. This is what he is now, no point in trying to hide from it. He challenges Utena again, taking an early advantage utilizing his new resolve and Utena’s confusion. But that resolves breaks quickly. What is Kozue doing with Anthy?

Pay attention, or you’ll lose.

Fig 6: Crash!!

Miki is disgusted with himself, his role, because he does not want it. He hates what’s happening to himself and his family. He admires Utena and Juri, for embodying his ideal self. He listens to Touga, puts up with his music teacher, even if they make him feel gross and uncomfortable, because he feels he has to and that he doesn’t have a choice. He idolizes Anthy, so much. He is attracted to her, but maybe there is something more. Maybe, Miki wishes he could be her. Miki, in my mind, is a closeted trans lesbian going through puberty as a boy. I think that part of this might be projection, perhaps. But I hope that I might have made my case using the text of the show. But even if you disagree, I hope that you might have a better appreciation for his character. I think he’s fairly consistently people’s least favorite council member as a character, but honestly he’s my favorite and I think there’s a lot more too him than a lot of people give him credit for.

Fig 7: Three Lesbians Hanging Out

… this all being said. I think it’s interesting that Miki thinks Anthy is the picture of femininity right? That this is what he wants.

In the end, all girls are like the rose bride.

Please wait patiently while I make the case, that while Miki is an egg. Anthy has long since hatched...

(And I do mean be patient! This subject, and the concept that Ohtori represents a transmisogynystic institution at its very core, is WAY more personal than this headcanon, and also is much more of a difficult thing to write for dozens of reasons. I'm still not 100% sure it would even be right of me to post my thoughts on that publicly. But if enough people are interested, maybe that would motivate me to write it!)

*What’s a good Miki essay without some sort of Stopwatch Theory tm? Well (and I freely admit much of this is probably projection, but it’s not just me projecting! It’s also my girlfriend!!), Miki seems to get very wrapped up in his own thoughts. He is very self conscious, takes the criticisms of others very seriously, and also seems to get ideas about How Things Are Going To Happen in his head. He desperately tries to make sense of his surroundings, and finds himself consistently failing to do that. So my guess is the stopwatch is a way for him to regulate and calibrate his thoughts and hypotheses and self image. He picked it up in his duty as council secretary, but its something he feels is significant outside of that. Aha moment? Click. Unexpected end to a council meeting? Click. Something go completely as expected? Click. It helps him process I think. That is my formal Stopwatch Hypothesis tm.

Supplement Fig 1: Stopwatch

[kiachiako]

carpe diem | l.hc

pairing |  gamer!haechan x female!reader

synopsis | You know you’re in trouble when your heart starts beating a little faster around Lee Haechan, professional flirt and someone any of your friends would advise against falling for. Then why are you standing in front of his door at the dead of night, lured by his offer of games, marijuana, and quality time with the man himself?

content | gamer!haechan, coder!reader, fluff, angst, language warning, drug usage, suggestive

wc | 5.1k

song | let’s get lost — g-eazy ft. devon baldwin

a/n | wish i could put into words how much i adore the vibe in this fic :(( hope you enjoy it just as much and leave any and all feedback at the end, i love reading your thoughts <3 ly

[h__chan06, 11:23PM] come over

You glance over at your phone as it lights up next to you, letting your eyes adjust to the darkness as your attention is stolen from the code on your monitors. With a snap of your gum and a knowing smile, you return back to the task at hand after scanning the chat notification that disappears just as quickly as it came.

It’s 11pm, and you know your night has only just started; as a compsci uni student by day and someone’s whose late hours are reserved by more… underground jobs, you’re used to the twilight that accompanies you as you work. Seoul’s neon city lights illuminate your apartment on their own as your fingers fly across the keyboard in your lap, lips pursed as your gaze races over each line of code in concentration.

You sigh when your clean slate of java is interrupted by a call pop-up that inconveniently takes up the entirety of your main screen. You’re about to click the red decline button when another text pops up, h__chan06’s < u better pick up > pressuring you into accepting.

“Y/N,” Haechan’s voice echoes throughout your room, filling the previous silence with his raspy tone. It sounds like he just woke up, and frankly, you think it’s the most attractive thing you’ve heard all week.

You hum softly in response.

“I’m bored,” he complains lowly, the sound of rubbing fabric transmitting over your speaker letting you know that he’s probably swathed in blankets in true Haechan fashion. “Want you to come game with me.”

You look up through your eyelashes at the digital blue light time on your wall, groaning when you remember that you have a 2am shift in a few hours at the 24-hour PC Bang that you completely forgot about.

“You know I can’t game for shit, Haechan.”

You hear him scoff at that, his mumbled, “says the literal game hacker,” making you giggle. You swivel around in your comfy desk chair, pushing your way to one of the glass walls of your apartment.

“It’s just,” you continue, staring out into the night cityscape, “I’ve got code due tomorrow for Prof Jung and I really wanna finish it before my part-time at the internet cafe.”

And you might be a little scared of spending alone time with the boy that makes your heart flutter a bit too much, but you would never admit that out loud.

“Please, Y/N,” the boy pleads with you. “Umm, I also just rolled if you want some.”

Your ears definitely perk up at that. Even though your assignment isn’t finished and it’s never the best idea to show up high to your job, you find yourself shrugging on a zip-up and grabbing your keys before you can even register your own actions.

Only a few hours can’t hurt, right?

…

Wrong.

It’s been five minutes of standing in front of Haechan’s apartment door — which just happens to reside in the same complex as yours — and you’re starting to think this is a bad idea.

Actually, this was a bad idea starting from the very first time you were introduced to Lee Haechan.

You still remember that day so clearly in your head; Mark had texted you and your friend group to meet up at his new apartment just days before sophomore year of uni started a year ago, his title as your best friend winning your free time over immediately as you headed a few floors down from your own home with Jaehyun and Karina. You were elated to be in the same building with Mark Lee, because that meant free rides to your classes in his classy Mustang and not having to jog a few blocks down the campus residences for weekly rom com reruns anymore.

However, what you had not expected to see was a brand new face as the three of you entered the spacious apartment, an unfamiliar boy’s laugh ringing throughout the foyer as if he had known your friends for an entire lifetime.

You were introduced to Lee Haechan a few moments later, his relaxed nature and confident smile drawing everyone to him immediately. The integration of his presence into your circle of friends was almost instantaneous.

It turned out that Haechan was Mark’s new roommate (and new competition for the title of his best friend, unfortunately), and somehow had every girl on campus hanging on to the sweet words that dripped out of his pretty mouth; it was just too easy to get hooked on his saccharin voice. He was truthfully too attractive for his own good with his sharp wit and dazzling smile, his model-like dimensions and the headphones/hoodie duo that drove female classmates to their graves with his gamer boyfriend appeal.

It was mostly wariness that kept you from growing close with Haechan, not really sure of what to think of him and his flirty tendencies although he had been nothing but friendly with you in the presence of your now shared friends.

One particular night after exams, the lot of you were over at their place to unwind after such a mentally demanding past few months. A few of the boys were busy trying to concoct something edible in the kitchen (it was most definitely not edible, as you had the “pleasure” of experiencing a few hours later), while Karina and Taeyong were hooked up in the most intense match of Mario Kart you had ever seen in your life.

“Shit,” Mark had mumbled, groaning as his eyes raked over the contents of their empty fridge. “Y/N,” you lifted your head to glance at him as you snuggled up against Karina’s side on the couch, skirt splayed on the cushions while watching the game intently. “I told Haechan to buy the soju today, but this fucker can’t even remember his own address,” he stared pointedly at said boy, Haechan’s innocent expression throwing you off guard, “so I’m not surprised that he forgot the drinks. Can you run to the convenience store down the street real quick and get some?”

You reluctantly got up from your comfy spot on the couch and made your way over to Mark, pulling his free hoodie over your form and tracing a frowny face on his fore-arm as your best friend pulled you into an apology hug.

“He’ll go with you and pay,” Mark nodded to Haechan, who shrugged and grabbed his card before holding the front door open for you with a wicked grin. “Play nice, Hyuck.”

You shuffled a few steps behind him as the two of you made your way out of the apartment complex and through the city night’s light drizzle, hair dampening when you neglected to pull up your hood.

You remember glancing up to him in surprise when Haechan suddenly turned around and tugged you forward by the sleeve, rivulets of raindrops tipping his lashes and glistening down his neck as he pulled you into a run with a wide smile.

“Let’s race.”

It had come as a surprise to you how easily you complied, eyes creased in elation as the rain poured down on your sprinting forms. The two of you weaved through umbrella clad people hurrying to escape the oncoming storm, a boy you barely knew leading you through shallow puddles and blinking crosswalks.

You were soaked by the time you got to the 24-hour convenience store, expressions painted with pure giddiness as you stepped into its artificial lights. The cashier had eyed the two of you with the greatest disdain, his gaze burning into the small spot of growing water pooling at the entrance under your figures.

Following Haechan into the alcohol aisle, you startled when a soft ding of your phone interrupted your euphoric haze. An immediate grimace graced your face.

“What is it? A new assignment?” He leaned closer to peer at your phone, warm breath reaching your cheek as his shoulder brushed against yours. Noticing the shaky inhale you had taken, he leaned back, amused. “I make you nervous, don’t I.”

You looked at him, incredulous.

“Never,” you answered, mentally kicking yourself at how unsure you sounded. The butterflies that you felt like vomiting gave yourself away nonetheless. “I don’t even know you.”

Haechan raised an eyebrow at you before dragging a chair out at the little window table in the corner of the store. Patting the seat across from him, he poured you a shot of soju and brushed a wet strand of hair out of your eyes.

“Then let me.”

You had sat there with Haechan for far too long that night, discovering every little thing he was willing to give up: from his area of study (“I’ll give you my old Python notes for Prof Cho’s lectures,” he had offered. “As your resident game development major and a survivor of the infamous Cho experience, I hereby grant you the right to all of my past cheat sheets and tests) to his unwavering loyalty to grape juice of all things (“You monster.” You had simply taken one sip of your apple drink before pausing with your lips hovering over the straw, feeling absolutely violated with the kicked puppy look he was giving you. “Apple over grape? Monster.)

The two of you had returned to Mark and Haechan’s flat hours later than you were supposed to, the former blaming his roommate for distracting you because he knew Haechan and his tendencies much better than anyone else did. Jaehyun had immediately swept you away in a game of Jenga (you thought it was a mystery why he enjoys a children’s game so much, but is it really?), so you were left with no other chance to speak with Haechan that night, even though he would shoot you a secret smile every chance he got.

It never escalated further.

School resumed like normal and suddenly everyone was busy again. Sure, you and Haechan were still friendly, but you hung out with the other guys much more than you did with him. A part of you was just so unsure about the type of guy he really was; you heard of his midnight escapades far too often to think that he was ever sincere in any interaction with a girl, nonetheless with you. It seemed like the boy that had run with you in the thundering rain and shared his stance on grape juice with passion was simply a figment of your imagination, a fleeting moment among thousands for him. You weren’t hurt nor surprised, already warned of his flowery words that you assumed were customized for each pretty girl that had the fatal luck of meeting Lee Haechan.

But he never made a true advance on you. Whenever your friend group got together, it was just meaningless flirting: the kind that caused your heart to flare up that you desperately pleaded with it to not react to someone like that. It was a sort of game almost, the type where you joked around with him when the time came, but never enough that you would be left with him for more than ten minutes. He still scolded Mark for making fun of you and offered you to smoke with him on more occasions than you’d like to admit, but that was it. A few weak moments in your judgment when you would give in to his offer for help on coding assignments and a free blunt.

As those memories play in your head, you bring your fingers up to your temples in frustration with yourself. You’re always careful with your heart, and you know that his words do affect you in a way they really shouldn't. You’ve been trying to avoid Haechan lately because you think the flirting might have actually gotten to your head. And yeah, you’re probably hyper aware of the scent of his cologne and the mere way he carries himself, but you’re determined to never fall in the traps of your own rapid heartbeat and warming cheeks.

“So then why am I here-” your mumbles stop when the door to the apartment you’ve been standing in front of swings open, the culprit leaning against its frame as his eyes flick over to you.

“Because you get swayed too easily, angel,” Haechan grins at you, his sweatpants and oversized hoodie hanging off his figure so well that you actually think it’s unfair. “And c’mon. We all know that you’ve just been dying to see me.”

You just gape at him before he laughs and tugs you inside, hand reaching up to squish your cheeks together.

“Don’t do that,” you pout after a few moments, pushing his hands away as you feel your face warm.

“I couldn’t resist, love,” he drawls, a Cheshire like smile overtaking his visage as he gestures for you to follow him into the living room. You take a seat on the floor with your back against the couch as you watch him move around, picking up two game controllers from the console before flicking the TV on and returning to sit next to you. The glittering lights of Seoul’s nightlife casts an eerie glow on Haechan’s side profile, all the sharp lines and curves of his face highlighted as you observe him.

Curious, you pick up one of the controllers and fiddle with it before shifting your body towards him.

“Why’d you text me though? You have so many other friends that probably game better than I do.”

Haechan doesn’t take his eyes off the screen as he replies to your valid inquiry, patting the space next to him so you’d move closer.

“You’re the only one that lives near here besides Mark, who decided that late-night practicing for his drivers license test is more important than playing games with me,” he jokes, shooting you a small grin before booting up the game home screen.

Oh.

Wait, no. That’s perfectly logical, you think to yourself.

…then why am I disappointed?

You hum in understanding before looking back up at the loading game.

“Want a hit?” the boy next to you offers, holding out a rolled joint between his index finger and thumb that wasn’t there before. You nod slowly and he takes the initiative to slot it between your lips, fingers grazing your chin in the slightest as he lights the end for you. You take a long pull, closing your eyes and sitting back as your insides fill with warmth with an exhale. Handing the joint back to him, he brings it to his lips and lets the smoke snake out his mouth before dissipating throughout the living room. “You needed that, hmm?���

Your glazed eyes tell him all he needs to know as he starts the video game on his TV, fingers busy setting up your characters and controls on the home screen. You watch his hands in a trance, not realizing that you’ve spaced out until he snaps his fingers in front of your face.

“Thinking about me already, angel,” he teases, hiding his hands behind his back. You hit him lightly and reach for the joint again.

“Shush, Haechan.” He simply blows a smoke ring towards your face in retaliation before reaching over to click a button on your own controller as your vision clears.

“Look here,” he instructs, positioning his fingers over yours so that he can guide you through each symbol and its uses. His cold skin leaves goosebumps as he leaves his palms resting against the back of your own hand. “This red one means shoot, and this one will allow you to pick up things. You press the back of the controller here,” Haechan maneuvers your fingers with his slowly as he talks, “to move forward. Makes sense?”

You nod with wide eyes, still shivering at the contact of his hands on yours. Haechan takes notice of the little bumps against your wrist as his pointer finger rubs against the back of yours.

“Aww, Y/N,” he coos, scrunching his nose at you, “you're nervous.” You protest and pull your hands away from his grasp, failing to come up with a coherent response. He chuckles under his breath at your attempt to escape him, instead grasping your arm and making you sit impossibly close to him so that you can feel the warmth radiating off his body.

With a dreamy look in his eyes and another long, hooded gaze in your direction, he takes another puff before grabbing his own controller. Silver bracelets clinking on his wrist, he shoots you a small smirk before starting the game with one click and settling forward so he can concentrate.

“I’m gonna lose so badly,” you grumble, watching the screen as the world spawns around your two avatars. Your character already seems like it’s suffering, taking hit after hit from the boy next to yours as she crumbles in ten seconds flat. “Kinda hate you right now, Haechan. And you too,” you squint at your girl’s name, “Widowmaker. What kind of person would call their character Widowmaker…” you add on with a mutter, frowning at her. You miss Haechan glancing at you with a small smile and a look of adoration in his eyes.

“I’m betting on it, angel,” he replies to your first words with a snicker after a few seconds, entirely shameless as he completely destroys whatever’s occurring on the TV. He sticks his tongue out to wet his lips as he immerses himself completely in the game. “You’re gonna give me something if I win, no?”

“I- what? When did I ever…?” you mutter with confusion as Haechan jumps to his knees with a shout. You watch with dread as blood splotches appear in your vision and the hearts that indicate your number of lives blink to a null gray, the girl that was supposed to help you win getting hit straight in the chest with her multitude of weapons and abnormally short crop top — you don’t know how her outfit was supposed to be of use, but you assumed that maybe Haechan’s character would have a moment of unclarity and propose or something.

“I won! And I even went easy on you, angel.”

And there it is in all its glory. A bright, green “You Win!” mocking you on his side of the screen while yours just flashes red as your character sinks to the ground in despair.

“Uh uh, Haechan,” you protest, turning towards him with your hands reaching for his controller. “We did not have a win-lose system set up and you know that I’m bad at this.” The said boy merely leans forward and taps his head with his finger pretending to think.

“I’ll give you my car for a week if you win,” he proposes, reaching for the controllers again. Your eyes widen.

“No fucking way,” you say, grinning as you lean forwards. “A month.”

“Two weeks, angel. Don’t push it.”

“A month.”

Haechan slumps against the couch, refusing to look at your pleading face and adorable expression.

“Fine,” he grumbles, defeated. “A month.”

“Yes!” you exclaim, shuffling in your spot with glee and crossing your legs to get ready for the next round. You are desperate for that car; having it would mean no more running to catch the train at 9pm after a botched lecture from your professors who seem to not know what a clock is. And, of course, midnight garlic bread runs without being scared shitless of what could be following you in the dark. “Need to focus…”

Haechan’s gaze zeros in on you, your tongue poking out of your tongue in concentration and your eyes enlarged with a newfound eagerness.

“Haa…” he breathes out, “cute.” You ignore your warming cheeks after hearing his words and nudge him to start the game, the soft look on his face catching you off guard to the point where you have to look away.

With a beeping countdown, another match of Overwatch starts and you’re left in the most concentrated state you’ve been since your last phase of, “I’m-going-to-get-all-perfect-marks-in-school-this-semester” (which isn’t actually saying much because you did not in fact get perfect marks that semester). With your gaze locked on your character and hands poised on your controller, you maneuver yourself carefully through the rotted terrain and hide from Haechan’s lingering avatar.

“I’m not letting you win,” you warn him with your most menacing tone, making your on-screen character do a 360 before shooting a warning shot into the far distance.

“Mm?” he hums, clicking rapidly on his own controller before turning to you, “you can’t win with me, angel.” You still at his words, scared to say something that will give away how truly nervous Haechan makes you. There’s something more in that sentence that you just can’t pinpoint.

After a moment of staring off into space, you regain consciousness and shake your head to clear your mind. “Focus…”

And that’s when you see it; Haechan’s avatar is crouched on top of a crumbling building at the corner of your vision, waiting for the perfect moment to shoot you down from above. He’s got his weapon aimed directly at you and the mere size of the thing scares you — and you’re not even the one being shot.

With dozens of quick solutions and methods running through your head to get out of your impending death, the worst possible thing you could do crosses your mind as you spy Haechan’s finger press down on the shoot button.

Just do it. You want to win? Just do it.

“Fuck it,” you whisper, pushing his controller out of his hands.

“Why would you-” he starts before stilling, the feeling of your fingers clutched around the fabric of his sweatshirt and being pulled in close to you shocking him into silence.

You let yourself lose all rational sense as you give him a tiny kiss, your body shuddering slightly at the simple feeling of his lips on yours. Only meaning to stall him for a few seconds, you reluctantly pull back and turn back to the screen to finish off the game. With one small click and a few splatters of blood on your display, you jump up with excitement as the “You Win!” finally appears for your victorious all-kill.

Before you can even turn to Haechan and taunt him with your victory, he twists his body so he can hover over you, pinning your wrists in one hand and bringing the other up to your face. You stare up at him with wide eyes with your noses just centimeters from each other, and you’re so close that you could connect your lips once again if you really wanted to. And you really want to.

Before you can fully process the position the two of you are in however, Haechan brushes his thumb against your cheekbone and switches his gaze between your eyes.

“You think you can just do that and not face the consequences? Hmm?” he whispers just next to your ear, his warmth breath reaching your neck as you shiver slightly under his touch. “Use your words.”

“The game?” you mumble dumbly, unable to pull anything coherent from your brain at the moment.

“I don’t care about the fucking game, Y/N,” Haechan replies, one of his hands smoothly moving up to hold the back of your neck. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment… you’re going to make it up to me, angel.”

With that, he fastens his lips to yours once again, letting out a small groan when he pulls you into his lap and presses your body into his. His kisses are deep and hard as he pulls you in by the waist and slips your zip up off your shoulders, the feeling of his tongue slipping into your mouth making your head dizzy.

The taste of marijuana and raspberry lingers in your mouth when he pulls away briefly to take a breath, soon after tilting his head so he can deepen the kiss even more. His little sounds go straight to your core, the moans he lets out increasing when you lean into him to slide your hands down the skin of his neck and shoulders. The way he moves is mesmerizing under your touch.

You throw your head back when one of his hands finds its way up to your throat, his fingers lightly wrapping around the base as you swallow in pleasure. He’s such a good kisser that you can feel yourself drown in his movements, delicate and sensual. His teeth nip little bites on your jawline, and you already know that the red blooming all over your skin will stay there for weeks with how much pressure he’s applying on your skin.

Making his way back to your mouth, he graces the flesh of your lips with his tongue before tugging gently. The little sound you make in reaction has him reeling, pulling away to put his forehead against yours.

“Want more?” Haechan inquires with his infamous smirk, nuzzling his nose against your skin as you sit straddling his lap.

Barely able to respond, you mumble, “more,” before chasing after his sweet kisses once again. You could do this all day.

“Ah ah,” he shushes you with his finger, letting the tip sneak between your lips just a smidge before wrapping his arms around you and hugging your body to his. “Didn’t mean to get you addicted, baby.” And with a sweet kiss on the corner of your mouth, he holds you in his warm embrace and rocks you back and forth, refusing to let you taste him. “Wanna keep you like this.”

You comply, relaxing as you sink into his lap in utmost comfort with your arms around his neck and face tucked in the crook of his neck.

You don’t even notice when your eyes start to flutter close, a sudden tiredness taking over your figure. You’ve always struggled with insomnia, but you fade into dreamland as soon as Haechan lays you down with him, hand rubbing soothing circles across your back.

Even you can’t deny it as much as your heart wants to; you feel at home in his embrace.

…

You wake up groggy to a blaring in your left ear, the piercing sound of your ringtone forcing you to consciousness. Rolling over to reach for your phone, you don’t even look at the caller ID before sliding the green accept button and holding the device against your ear.

You can’t get a single word out before a familiar voice blares out of the speaker, making you flinch away from the sound immediately.

“Sunshine! Did you finally get with Haechan?” Mark talks excitedly from the other side of the line, his hyper tone evident without seeing his expression.

“Good morning to you too- Wait, how did you know I was with Haechan last night?” you say incredulously, suddenly very awake. “How’d your permit test go anyway?” You hear Mark scoff at your question in response.

“Y/N. Did you think I really didn’t have my license already,” he says with exasperation. “Do you not exploit my driving skills every other day or am I going insane?”

“I mean kind of, yeah. With the way you drive…”

“Oh, fuck both of you,” Mark laughs out. “Haechan’s lies never make any sense.”

“Lies?” you mumble, confused. Why did Haechan lie to you about Mark anyway? You’re not sure where you lie in Haechan’s spectrum of feelings, but you hope your heart won’t get crushed with how hard you fell just a few hours ago.

Mark sighs audibly.

“Mm, he wanted the apartment empty yesterday and he’s talked about you since forever, Y/N-ie, really. Hope you know he’s very serious about getting to know you,” you gape at your phone at Mark’s confession, surprised. No way Lee Haechan, downright playboy and professional flirt is interested in you in the way you’ve been falling for him too — and suppressing it.

But with the way he cared for me last night, you think to yourself. He seemed so sincere.

“He’s stopped seeing other girls for a few months now,” Mark adds on, easing the worries he knows are running laps in your mind. “He’s so serious about you, Y/N, I can tell you that much.”

You let that information sink in as you sit back in your own bedsheets, hands rubbing your arms with the morning chill as you let the thought of Haechan and you marinate.

Just as your doubts begin to surface again, you hear a delicate knock on your apartment door before the door swings open and reveals a familiar boy standing in the hallway.

Haechan grins at you from behind a pile of fluffy winter blankets in his arms, taking your growing smile as an invitation to enter. He goes straight for your bed, settling into the warm spot next to you and letting his body snuggle into your side. Taking the fleece blankets, he wraps you in the fabric before placing a shy kiss on your temple, your cheeks blushing rose at his adoring actions.

“My angel.”

...

xoxo

2022 © kiachiako | all rights reserved.

[vodika-vibes]

Hi! Congrats and super excited for your follower event! Can I ask for red carnation & jonquil with Alpha-17! Can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Affection Returned

Summary: You're a doctor who was assigned to Kamino at the beginning of the war, and you remained on Kamino because of Alpha-17.

Pairing: Alpha-17 x Reader

Word Count: 1012

Warnings: none

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: I'm not sure this one is good. I had a hard time making jonquil fit for Alpha, but I did my best. I hope you like it!

“What happened this time?” You ask, setting your hands on your hips as you look up at Alpha-17, who’s sitting on one of your medical beds.

“One of the cadets got a little enthusiastic,” Alpha explains as he shows you the burn on his arm, “Jet pack training.”

You sigh and cross the room over to him, “Honestly, Captain. At this point I’m beginning to think you’re getting hurt intentionally.”

“Would that be so bad?” Alpha asks with a sly smile.

“If you want to come and talk to me, you don’t have to be hurt.” You counter with a roll of your eyes as you twist his arm slightly so that you’re able to look at the burn properly, “It’s not too bad, really. Just some bacta-” You release his arm and cross the room to grab some bacta.

You’ve been a medic on Kamino for several years now, since the war began two and a half years ago. And honestly, you’re surprised that you’ve lasted as long as you have. After all, you were hired by the Jedi to come to Kamino to treat the men here.

You and about two dozen other doctors from Doctors Without Borders.

Sometimes you wonder about how the Kaminoans feel about that, especially since the whole medical facility, including the cloning facility, are now solely under the management of Doctors Without Borders.

Honestly, this isn’t the best place for your career. But if you were worried about your career you would have put in for a transfer to a warship.

But, well, Alpha-17 is here. And you’ve been in love with him for well over a year now.

You grab the jar of bacta gel and then return to his side, “Is this your only injury, or are you hiding another injury from me so that you can come back later?” You ask as you set the jar on a small table, and gently turn his arm so you’re able to see the burn again.

Alpha’s gaze is heavy against you, “You want me to strip so you can give me a full physical?”

You shoot him a look, “At this point, I’m beginning to think that I should. Maybe it will make you be more careful if you have to spend an hour here every time you get hurt.”

“That’s not going to work like you think it will,” Alpha drawls with a small smirk. “A whole hour of nothing but your attention? And with you touching me? That’s the stuff dreams are made of, cyar’ika.”

You huff, “Maybe I’ll transfer you to another doctor then, Captain.” 

“Aww, don’t be like that. Everyone knows that you’re the only Doc I listen to.”

You sigh and shake your head, “My coworkers are just as capable as I am. So why am I the only one you listen to?”

“The other ones are afraid of me,” Alpha replies, “I’m intimidating. Didn’t you know?”

You sigh, “You’re hardly the boogeyman, Captain.” You gently apply the gel to his arm, and then wrap it with clean bandages, “You can remove the bandages tonight.”

“Hm,” Alpha absently rubs the bandages, “How long have we worked together, Doc?”

You stare at him for a moment, “I was sent here about two years ago.” You reply as you lift your datapad to start filling out his chart, “Why do you ask?”

“And in two years, you’ve never once called me by my name.” Alpha says mildly.

You pause, “You earned your rank, Captain. Just like I earned my title.”

“Do you know my name?”

You sigh, “Of course I do.”

“Then use it.”

You hesitate for a half-second. Not using his name was a way to keep some distance between yourself and him. The last thing you want is for him to be uncomfortable because of your emotions. “Alpha,” You finally say, and even to your own ears his name has a soft, warm, quality that is, frankly, humiliating.

Alpha looks startled for a moment, and then a slow smirk crosses his face, “Well then,”

Your face heats, “I-” You’re cut off when his fingers, warm and calloused, brush against your cheek, “...Alpha?”

“I never considered-” He trails off for a moment, and watches you thoughtfully, “The majority of the doctors who came here at the beginning of the war moved on after six months, why didn’t you?” He asks.

“I…I thought I could do the most good here.” You offer hesitantly.

Alpha’s fingers ghost across your lips, “Don’t lie.”

“I’m not. I can do the most good here, but-” your gaze darts around nervously, and then you steel your nerves and you look at him, “But it’s not the only reason I stayed.”

“Tell me.”

“I stayed for you…because of you. Because I’ve been in love with you for an embarrassing amount of time. And…and I’d give anything for you to return my affections. But-”

“But-?”

“But I know you probably don’t and that’s fine. It’s not going to change anything-”

“You’re just going to assume that I won’t return your affection?” Alpha asks.

You blink at him, “What?”

“Cyar’ika,” He speaks slowly, as though he’s gathering his thoughts, “Why do you think I’m here all of the time?”

“Because you like my company?” You offer.

“Yes, but that’s not the only reason.” Alpha says with a soft laugh. “Let’s just say that I return your affection.”

You blink at him, twice, “You do?”

“Is that so surprising?”

“Um…a little bit.” You admit with a sheepish smile.

Alpha regards you thoughtfully for a moment, and then he tugs you in and crashes his lips against yours. You release a startled squeak at first, your hands pressed against his chest for balance, and then you sigh softly, and relax into his affection.

“Does that prove my point?” He asks softly, his lips hovering just over yours.

“Yeah,” You whisper up to him, a dreamlike quality to your voice.

Alpha chuckles and then his lips are against yours again, as he tugs you closer and threads his fingers through your hair.

[beaker1636]

Donors Wanted Pt. 1 - Chris Motionless

AN: Hey, here it is. I have never written in first person so if this is slightly lower quality than my other work it is because I am adjusting to that, but here is the first part! I hope you all enjoy it! I have no clue how many more parts I intend for this but it'll be several!

Taglist: @yournecessaryevil @talialovesmiw @ladyveronikawrites @cookiesupplier

I slip out of the shower before making my way back towards my bedroom, trying to decide what I should do.  I know the inevitable is going to happen, the sun is now setting so they should be here with the one who is sick.  I sigh, slipping into some sweatpants and a shirt to be comfortable figuring that  would probably be the best but really not sure how any of this is going to work honestly.

Suddenly Sierra is standing outside my door, startling me when I leave my room.

“Holy shit, you scared me,” I grasp my chest, startled as my body jumps from my sudden presence of my roommate.

“I wanted to tell you that you should probably make sure to eat, this time he is going to need more than usual because of how rough he is and I don't want you too exhausted or to pass out.  I already made some of your favorite pasta and have it on the stove for you,” she says softly, giving me a smile as she steps away to give me room to step out into the hallway.  Her blue eyes show me just how happy she is that I am willing to do this, that I want to help her friend.

“Yeah, okay.  Thanks, I assumed I’d be sitting there awhile too so I wore something comfortable.  I guess I don’t know how to prepare for any of this, honestly I am starting to get nervous about this all Sierra,” I finally admit.  I refuse to look at her, knowing she would want to try and make it better if she knows just how bad I am.

“Hey, I was too the first time I did this for Rick, but then just knowing I was helping someone, that I was able to help him stay alive, it helped me feel like it was worth it.  Now we have a really strong bond, honestly we haven’t labeled it but we’re basically a couple. This isn’t a bad thing honestly, is it going to hurt, yes, I almost guarantee it this time because he is going to be a lot rougher more than likely.  But normal feedings, they don’t.  After the initial sting of the bite it actually can feel okay, or they can make you feel great because it gives the two of you a bond nobody else has with them,” she says.  Her eyes meet mine again as she smiles, I can tell her feelings are genuine. That she means everything she says, that she does feel that bond with Rick.

“I, thank you.  I just needed that reassurance. I guess that this genuinely won't be terrible, come on, lets go eat some dinner before they get here,” I say softly, squeezing her arm as I walk by her in the hallway in thanks for helping me feel better.

We both settle on the couch with a bowl of our pasta, putting one of our favorite shows on the tv so that we could sit and try to relax about this impending moment, me pulling my blanket around myself as I try to warm up, unsure if I feel cold because of my anxieties or if I am actually cold.

We are most of the way through dinner when there is a knock on the door, making me tense up in fear as the reality of what is about to happen comes crashing down.  I almost instantly glance at Sierra, silently begging her to answer the door so I have another couple moments before this actually happens.

She gets up, giving me a reassuring smile before she goes and opens the door, hugging the shorter man that is standing in the front before ushering him in.  Then behind him there are two bigger guys carrying in another, one that is clearly sick.  His eyes are barely even open, his body covered in a sheen of sweat as he lets them carry him, limp and unmoving inside of our house. 

I let out a gasp when I realized just how sick he actually is, I don’t know why I thought it wasn’t actually this bad when Sierra told me about him but I didn’t.  This poor man, his black hair hangs in his face, almost covering his dark eyes as they move and gently set him on the couch next to me.

Before I can register what’s happening the shorter one has their arms wrapped around me in a hug, one that I stiffly return, anxious and confused.

“Thank you, thank you so much for helping our leader.  We, we all thought we were going to lose him and we’d never find someone who would help,” he says, his voice soft in my ear before he pulls away with a smile.

“Uhhh… you’re welcome?” I say awkwardly, not sure what I should think about this all.

“Hey Rick, you probably should have said who you were before you just pulled her into a hug, she's already anxious,” Sierra scolds before she looks at me. “That was Rick, he's the clan doctor of this group.”

The one who is named Rick gives me another smile.  His dark hair looks beautiful against his skin and blue eyes, I can understand why Sierra seems to have a thing for him, he is much her type.

“Oh yeah, sorry.  I’m Rick, and those two that helped me bring Chris over are Ryan and Justin,” he gestures to the other two.  I notice Ryan is a bit more bulky, his muscles in his arms prominent as he gives me a slight wave.  The piercing in his nose for some reason stands out to me, maybe because I didn’t expect it.  Justin on the other hand is quite a bit taller than the other men, his hair an artificial blonde color which tells me he either dyes it or intends to.  Justin gives me a sad smile, like he's happy I am helping but distraught over their leader being in rough shape.

“Um Hi? I’m y/n.  Sorry, normally I have more to say but I’m still… processing things.  What do I need to do or whatever,” I say softly, my eyes settling on the heap of a form that is their leader.  My heart is half broken, I can’t help but wonder how long he has been starving to get this sick.  And the fact he is taking the admirable path and refusing to just go eat like most of their kind would and is letting himself starve…. I just can’t wrap my head around this.

“Well, normally you two would meet a couple times a week give or take so that he could come and feed, and you’d arrange that together but he clearly couldn’t do that this time.  I also unfortunately am thinking we may have to umm cut you, make him smell your blood to make his instincts kick in to drink from you.  His body is so shut down that I don’t think he is going to be able to just naturally do it.  Anyways, there are a few things I do think you should know first.  Mostly this one, drinking from a human, it naturally arouses us, so if he ever kisses you or something, please don’t take it badly it’s probably because of that natural response.  Second, we are able to heal your wounds with our saliva, so when it’s done and you allow him to lick the marks they will go away within a few minutes.  And third, most importantly, you are always welcome to cancel this arrangement at any point. It is preferable with notice but if you just decide you can’t do it anymore it is understood and you’d be allowed to leave.  Uhh Ryan, Justin, am I forgetting anything? I’m so used to Chris doing this talk with new people that I don’t remember what all he says.” Rick asks, glancing towards the other men to ask if he missed anything.

“I don’t think so honestly,” Ryan says, giving a shrug as he watches you curiously.  Normally the donors are freaking out more but somehow you don’t seem to be and it is honestly perplexing him, making him wonder why.

“I, I guess we should start this, not waste time in helping him feel better huh?” I ask, my eyes still watching their leaders form as I take in the sight of him some more.

“I’d suggest if you don’t mind maybe doing this in your bedroom, it’s going to take a while so that way you can make yourself comfortable, and so if it is easier he is able to lay down,” Justin quickly suggests, wanting to make this as easy on both Chris and I as he can.

“Uh yeah okay, follow me I guess,” I say softly, leading them towards my bedroom, watching a little curiously as the two men are carrying their leader again as I sit against the headboard, learning back so as to try and be comfortable while they place Chris on the bed next to me.

“I think what will be easiest is to just have you give him your wrist, see if he’ll take it.  If not, do you care if I cut you, not a lot but just enough that it should make him instinctively react and hopefully reach for you? He’d still wind up biting you but at least then we know he is drinking,” Rick asks, looking up at me with his blue eyes looking sad, like he doesn’t want to do this.

I nod, moving to place my arm right in front of Chris, hoping that he’ll find the strength to just lean in and take what he needs but when he doesn’t I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness, wanting him to just do it.  I let out a sigh, moving to hold my hand out towards Rick so that he can take his knife and lightly cut me, hoping he understands that I am telling him to just go ahead and do it.

He also sighs, moving to lightly knick me, enough to make me bleed but not enough to hurt me as I let out a small gasp from the sting.  I move to put my arm in front of Chris’ face again, noticing that his eyes are opening as he just watches me closely, practically drooling over it but not acting.

“Fuck, come on Chris,” I whisper, suddenly aware that I want him to do this, that I want to help him and I feel hopeless.  He finally leans in, smelling me softly before I feel his teeth suddenly clamp down, biting into my flesh hard, making me gasp and let out a cry, in both surprise and pain as he finally gives in to this.  

His lips settle on my skin around his teeth as he finally begins to drink, his hands pulling my arm and me closer to him as he takes what he needs, my eyes meeting his as he does.  I can’t bring myself to look away from his eyes, something drawing me in, neither of us looking away from the other until we hear some quiet cheers from across the room as everyone realizes that he is actually feeding from me.  

I look back towards him again, noticing a small stream of red running down his chin and can’t help myself but to wipe it off with my fingers, noticing how he shuddered slightly under that touch as he continued to drink.  His eyes staying locked on me as he starts to look healthier, gaining more strength and his powerful aura is starting to shine through more and more as he continues.

I start to grow tired as he continues to feed, starting to slump in my bed a little as he continues for a few moments longer, my eyes growing heavy.  He pulls away and looks at me with such a soft expression on his face, one of thanks, adoration, admiration before he pulls my arm back towards him, gently licking at the wounds of his bite and of the cut before he gently places it back down, brushing a strand of hair out of my face before looking towards the others in the room.

“Can one of you go get her some orange juice or something, it’ll help her perk up a little from this,” he says, his tone commanding.  

Within seconds the other three men are scrambling out of the room, headed towards your fridge to do as he asks while your friend Sierra watches you, concerned because of how pale you look.

I don’t look at her though, I choose to look over at Chris again, who is still seated next to me. When I meet his eyes he gives me a smile, a hand settles softly on my arm as he lightly rubs his fingers along the skin that he had previously bitten.

“Thank you, I, just thank you,” he says softly, his eyes watching mine as he continues to treat me so gentle, so valuable and I don’t know what to do about it, what to think.

“Chris, it’s no problem, wanted to help who everyone thought so highly of,” I say softly, rubbing my eyes a little bit as the exhaustion still hits me.

As soon as the words leave my mouth the guys return back, someone shoving a glass towards me of the juice as they all watch to make sure I drink, that I am doing alright.  I finish it and lean back with a sigh, feeling a little better but still not great.

“Well, do you want all of us to sit here and keep an eye on her or do you trust yourself enough to watch her for a little bit herself.  As much as you drank from her, someone needs to watch her for an hour or so, make sure she is okay because it was so much more than usual,” Rick explains, looking at Chris.

“I can do it, you guys have already done more than enough.  Someone go check on Vinny, we all know he still struggles a little bit with urges when he's alone and the rest of you can go, thank you,” Chris says, nodding towards them before they all look towards me again, all giving me their thanks for what I did before they wander out.

It is quiet for a minute while it is only Chris and I in the room, neither of us sure what we should say or what we should think, before he finally breaks the silence.

“Thank you for this… now I feel like we should talk, get to know each other better because we are going to be seeing a decent bit of each other,” he says gently, moving to help me lay down on the bed when he can tell that I am ready for it.  My head now rests on my pillow before a blanket is draped over the top of me while he still sits there next to me.

“Well, what do you want to know?”

[humbledragon669]

S1E6 – The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives P4 - from the departure of Shadwell and Madame Tracy

There are just under 10 minutes of this episode left at this point, so I’m hoping I can get this season pretty much wrapped up in this write up (not counting the write up of the opening credits, or the couple of bits I’m intending on doing around the book. Oh, or the work I’m intending on doing around the deleted scenes in the Script Book. Or on identifying differences between the Script Book and the end result. So y’know, so close to getting season 1 all wrapped up…). If I forget by the time I get to the end of it, I’ll just say thank you for sticking with me – I hadn’t really intended for any of these write-ups to be as comprehensive (waffling) as they are, but here I am, 64K words later, not even finished the first season. So, yeah, thanks and other such affectionate gratitudes.

There’s something to be said about Gabriel’s idea of what exactly the “greater good” is. He still seems to think that the “greater good” is little more than winning the argument against the legions of Hell, which seems quite ridiculous: imagine holding the outcome of an argument in higher regard than the consequences that the event of said argument would have. But then I suppose that’s largely what war is – two parties adamant that they’re right, trying to force the other to concede. We as the audience are likely to see the preposterousness of Gabriel’s stance in this particular instance because the consequences include the obliteration of the entire human race and the planet that they reside on. Still, the principal is the same, and ultimately I feel like world peace is entirely possible, in both the show and in real life, if people simply respected the right to an alternative point of view.

We also see the recurrence of a running theme in this scene – the idea that “what” you are defines your nature by default.

Don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine. I’m the Archangel Fucking Gabriel.

This statement is something akin to stating that all hedgehogs must, by default, be irritable (or… prickly… *tumbleweed* I’ll get my coat), and in fact we have come to understand that this ingrained attitude as to what constitutes a “good” or “bad” could actually, in and of itself, be construed as a “bad” quality to have, and that being capable of seeing nuance is an inherently “good” quality to have. The irony of that statement is almost philosophical, isn’t it? Still, we get to hear John Hamm use the F word, possibly proving that Aziraphale’s reluctance to use it isn’t necessarily because he’s an angel (which just hammers all of that point home even further).

Let’s take a quick look at a couple of things we see from Crowley (as Aziraphale) prior to his entering the Hellfire. Firstly, his use of the phrase “for Heaven’s sake”.

It’s a little different from the last time we saw Crowley using the same phrase.

I don’t know whether this much easier delivery of the same phrase is because he’s in Aziraphale’s body (issued to him by Heaven) or if he’s having to exercise a monumental amount of restraint as he says it. It doesn’t look like the latter, but he’s been doing a pretty good job of keeping his own mannerisms under control up to now, so why would this be any different? After all, the Hellfire reacts to the being that inhabits a body rather than to the original source for that body, so you’d think this principle would apply for other matters to.

The second thing I want to take a look at is this glance Crowley (as Aziraphale) takes at his captors before he steps into the Hellfire:

It’s so beautifully knowing. He knows full-well what’s about to happen as he steps in the column of flames: absolutely nothing. He’s checking in to make sure his cover is still intact before he takes his leap of faith.

There’s an interesting difference between the reactions from Heaven and Hell in the aftermath of the punishment being applied. Both parties are, understandably, terrified. Hell’s assessment of the situation is that Crowley has “gone native”, even going so far as to say he isn’t one of them anymore (I don’t really think he was ever truly “one of them” though, was he?). This is an accusation we have heard before, not always so explicitly stated, levelled at both Aziraphale and Crowley by their respective employers. In this instance, we are to take it that they think he has become human, or at least more human than demon. I don’t think the Heavenly hosts would be able to come to the same conclusion – presumably a human would be consumed by Hellfire just like an angel would. It’s my belief that their assumption, based on their accusation that he is a traitor to Heaven and therefore siding with Hell, is that he has somehow converted to a demon, or that he is on the way to becoming one. I find this difference interesting, as it suggests that, whilst Heaven still firmly believe the antithesis of their agenda lies in Hell, Hell in turn believes that the worst thing a being could possibly be is human. Stripping all of the philosophy and theology out of the situation, what’s important is that neither Heaven nor Hell are aware that a body swap scenario was a possibility, and both believe there has been a fundamental change in their accused.

I also find the individual responses of Crowley and Aziraphale (in their respective other half’s body) to the outcome of the punishments to be rather charming.

There’s something really special about knowing that, despite the work they’ve both done to make sure they’re acting as the other one would, they cannot help their true personalities from coming through when they’re enjoying themselves: Aziraphale (as Crowley) playing the situation with his intelligence and resulting wit, and Crowley (as Aziraphale) choosing instead to strike fear into his captors with harmless mischief (rather like we saw him do to the paintballer at Tadfield Manner).

Let’s talk Michael’s reaction to seeing (Aziraphale as) Crowley in the bath. Subtitle capitalisation is taken from the Script Book, rather than being my own emphasis.

I know I’ve seen this discussed in other posts, so I won’t dwell on it too much, I just wanted to acknowledge that firstly there is a definite question mark over the use of phrase here. Is it just an exclamation or is there something more subtextual going on? I vote the latter because… well because I’ve watched the show really. And I don’t think the scripted words are ever used without thought to their meaning, overt or otherwise. Secondly, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen a verbal reaction to Crowley’s presence containing the “L” word. Remember Paris, 1792?

Did I just use this tiny scripting point to so I could revisit that incredibly hot look Aziraphale gives Crowley in the Bastille? 100% I did. Sue me. However, there is an important difference here that the angel also uses the word “good” in his exclamation. I don’t think Aziraphale has ever truly considered Crowley to be anything other than at least a little bit good, so that does make a lot of sense.

Theirs is something of an odd paradox in Anathema burning the second volume of Agnes’s prophecies, isn’t there? Because Agnes, being the incredibly gifted psychic that she clearly was, should have foreseen that the copy given to Anathema after Armageddon is averted would be burned. So why send the box at all? More importantly, is there perhaps another copy that she wrote and kept somewhere else? There is a nice symmetry in Newt helping Anathema to burn the pages though, seeing as his ancestors have a history of burning her actual family members. I’m sure it’s meant to be symbolic that he’s present for the literal burning away of the things that tie Anathema to the past, and I can’t help but feel like his own unpleasant ancestral ties are being erased at the same time.

There is so much tying up of subtextual ends in Adam’s final scene, it’s rather difficult to know where to being. Let’s first address the non-so-subtextual confirmation that, at this point in time at least, he has retained some of his powers.  

We have a few more hints at the idea that people are forgetting what happened the day before, firstly when Wensleydale asks Adam what happened, and again with this line from Adam:

Tomorrow will be alright. They’ll have forgotten by then. They always do.

Then there is, of course, the reference not only to a garden, but of having to leave it, and that his leaving would be the result of a choice he makes to right a wrong. The informed choice that Adam makes here forms the ending of the book, and serves to prove God’s prophecy from the beginning of episode one:

It starts, as it will end, with a garden.

Adam’s choice to leave the garden is, without doubt, a comparison to the departure of Adam and Eve from the original Garden of Eden. The difference here is that they were forced to leave because they chose knowledge and free will, whereas Adam leaves through choice because he already has free will. The parallels between the two situations don’t stop there either – Adam (Young) is next to be seen taking an apple from a tree, which he is forbidden to do (because it’s not his to take. Technically stealing I suppose, but hey, he’s the ex-Antichrist, he’s done worse) after he leaves his own “garden”. He takes it willingly, and of his own accord, rather than having been tempted as Eve was.

We also hear God telling us that Adam has an awareness that “something” was ending. I think it’s likely the “something” being referred to here is the innocence of childhood, particularly as he has now been made all too aware of the potential cruelties of human nature. And lastly, we have a pretty strong statement being made, not only about the idea that knowledge should never be considered as being owned and should always be shared, but also that the cost of the acquisition of knowledge is always worth the sacrifice it took to get it.

He couldn’t see why people made such a fuss about people eating their apples, but life would be a lot less fun if they didn’t. And there never was an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.

Quite beautiful really. That previous scene being the last we see of any of the characters other than Crowley and Aziraphale, we join the main couple in a park. By now it should be blatantly obvious that something is very different about both of them – their voices, speech, and (most obviously) postures are complete opposites of what we’re used to seeing from them. Crowley sitting bolt upright with his hands clasped in his lap whilst Aziraphale’s slouch is so severe it looks like he poured himself into the bench. What I love about this is that we’re being shown the extent to which both of them have had to fight to hide what comes most naturally to them. What’s even nicer to see is that they drop all hint of pretence now that they’re back in each other’s company again. And just so we can see how perfectly David and Michael are at copying each other, just observe how little movement there is between the before and after body swap reversal in their postures.

They each managed to set themselves up to sit like the other pretty much exactly. Very impressive. And of course, the red collar is back, which Crowley (as Crowley now – thank goodness I don’t have to keep writing those confusing sentences out anymore) actually draws attention to. It does make me wonder if the only purpose of the tartan collar was to have something tangible that could be pointed out after the fact. The change in tone of voice, speech, gait, and behaviours could be argued as objective, but a piece of material that’s a completely different colour? That can’t be argued as being fundamentally different from the norm. And it’s subtle, which I don’t think could have been achieved with something about Aziraphale’s outfit (for instance, changing his bow tie from tartan to red).

I think it’s so telling that it takes the pair of them next to no time at all to settle into their old comfortable ways. Aziraphale for instance, can hardly keep his eyes off Crowley once they’re restored to their normal bodily states. In fact, he’s back to flirting at the first opportunity. Check out this gorgeous little side eye and gooey gaze:

And he’s so desperate to tell Crowley what he did that was so clever. Almost like he would pop if he didn’t tell someone about it… We will of course later come to find out that this little personality trait is apparently one of the only reasons that Aziraphale calls Crowley, so it’s actually quite nice to see that this behaviour isn’t something he limits to interactions that aren’t in person. What his anecdote from Hell does tell us is that they do not have any access to the memories that were made in their own body during the body swap – they apparently go with the essence of the being that inhabited the body at the time the memories were formed.

I do not believe for a second that Crowley’s mention of “leaving the garden” is simply there to wrap up the story line. Both he and Aziraphale will be well aware of the connotations that go along with that statement, having been present when the original residents of the original Garden were forced into the wilderness. And whilst there’s a feeling that the angel and the demon are also wandering into the wilderness, they are doing so under their own free will, which they have actually been exercising for millennia. The difference now is twofold: firstly, they have no intention of returning to the false promise of safety that the garden (aka affiliation with a Heavenly or Hellish authority) proffers them. Secondly, their free will, and their choice to exercise it, is no longer forbidden, and whilst both Heaven and Hell may not approve of their friendship, relationship, or any other consequence of their free will, they no longer have any authority over them. They have in a very real sense of the word, been set free. Leaving the “garden” is really just a metaphorical way of them stretching their wings (no pun intended) before taking full flight into their newly gained freedom.

Ah, wasn’t that all really beautiful? Well, don’t get used to it, Crowley’s about to lower the tone.

Did ya see it? Let me see if I can make it a bit more obvious:

Maybe it’s me and my dirty mind, but that invitation to lunch looks like it comes with a much more personal invitation from Crowley… I mean, even if we disregard that fairly blatant “presentation” of what’s on the menu for Aziraphale, let’s remember that it’s my belief Crowley enjoys watching the angel eat. And yes, I do believe that watching Aziraphale eat is a sexual (or perhaps sensual) experience for him. So him asking the angel to go to lunch with him is far from an innocent invitation in my opinion. That last point is perhaps underlined by Crowley’s use of the word “tempt”, which he would have historically done to lessen or destroy the innocence of others. And Aziraphale has absolutely no hesitation in taking him up on the offer. So absent is his hesitance in fact that it seems to me that his acceptance of Crowley’s temptations is something he is very used to doing. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

It's my view that we would be foolish to think that this lunch at the Ritz is anything other than a date. We know that this is one of the things Aziraphale suggested that they do in that awful car conversation in 1967. We know that they have been there before on at least one occasion. Aziraphale’s choice of venue tells us everything that we need to know about things between the two of them being set to rights. I’m sure Aziraphale knows that his offer comes with un underlying offer of peace between them, and when you see Crowley’s reaction to the offer, I’m pretty sure that he knows it too. He looks impressed, a little surprised, but most of all, happy.

I don’t think I need to go over the song used in the soundtrack here. I know I have written a lot of words about this season, but I think that my running word count would look pretty pathetic if we were to count up all the words written about the choice of “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” being played at this particular point in the storyline. So let me simply highlight the particular part of the lyrics that make it the absolutely perfect choice as the closing song for this season:

There was magic abroad in the air There were angels dining at the Ritz And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square

Right, that’s that addressed. Despite the fact that there are less than 2 minutes left in this episode, there’s still so much to talk about.

Aziraphale’s furtive glance at Crowley before the champagne is poured; the loving gaze he gives him to assure him that his assessment of him being a “good” is meant in love and not in animosity; Crowley’s acceptance of the compliment with his own look of resignation; Crowley’s loving gaze as he awaits the angel’s response to being told he’s a “bastard”; Aziraphale’s acceptance of the return compliment suggesting that it might just be the best thing anyone has ever said to him: all of these things are enough to melt my heart, but they are NOTHING compared to this:

Or perhaps, more precisely, this:

I said Aziraphale couldn’t take his eyes off Crowley, didn’t I? That lingering gaze he rests on his demon’s face after the toast is complete genuinely makes my stomach flip. It’s beyond gorgeous. And it would be horribly remiss of me not to talk about the toast itself. Aziraphale proposes they toast to the World. On a surface layer, this would appear to be in reference to the fact that they have just saved it. But. But. They look each other in the eyes when they’re actually making the toast. Because they are each other’s world. It might have sounded like the toast is in recognition of their part in saving the world, but really, it’s to them. I appreciate that this is probably going over old ground, but I need to get it written down so that the words can stop going around my head.

I do want to do a tiny bit of backtracking to look at the way that they compliment each other on being “good” and “bad”. It does not escape my attention that Aziraphale refers to Crowley as “a good person”. Not simply “good” or a “good demon”. A good person. I think this follows up on the conversation that they had with Adam in the time bubble, that they now think of themselves as closer to humans than to their respective ethereal beings. Not only that, but there are no more arguments between them about being a little bit good, or a little bit bad. I think this probably applies more to Aziraphale than to Crowley, but they’ve come to the full realisation that you don’t have to be all “good” or all “bad”. And with that realisation, comes the knowledge that each of them having their own “good” and “bad” qualities actually make them a better partnership, because they compliment each other so beautifully. They “cancel each other out”, as Crowley so eloquently said. He was only about 1000 years ahead of Aziraphale on that one. But most importantly, it’s the supposed “flaws” in their characters, the bits they’re not supposed to have, that actually interest and attracts them to each other.

As we leave our beloved pair, we see one last act of affection from each of them.

It’s so subtle. Not only does Aziraphale reach for Crowley across the table, he switches the champagne glass to his other hand in order to do it. He places the glass next to his right hand so that the hand closest to Crowley will always be free, presumably in an effort either to flirt with its presence near to something of Crowley’s (mind out of the gutter please, this is the Ritz) or to actually make contact. And Crowley’s returns the gesture with silent attentiveness. It’s so charming to see him just watch Aziraphale babble away, fixing his gaze on the angel’s face. At least that way it won’t be weird when he deliberately stares at him whilst he’s eating…

I have one last thing to say about this episode, and it’s actually about a character that we have been acquainted with from the very beginning of the show, yet observe so little about. It’s God. Sounds like a pretty bold statement about religion in general I know; it’s not meant to be. I’m not about to go off into some sort of religious diatribe about how the voice of God has been guiding the audience through the story blah blah blah (did I mention I’m Pagan?), I merely wanted to point out that God has been narrating this last part of the story of the demon and the angel that are in love. Does she sound disappointed or unapproving at all? She really does not. In fact, it sounds like she’s pleased. And when she talks about the nightingale in the Square, she sounds a little smug, proud almost. It makes me wonder if this was her way of blessing the partnership. And if she’s blessing it, doesn’t that mean it was all part of the Ineffable Plan in the first place? I guess that might come to light in season 3, but for now we’ll just have to wait and see…

You know the drill by now. Questions, comments, discussion: always welcome!

[lavendermage]

Lost in Inazuma 9

Characters: Ayato, Heizou, Thoma

Genre: Sagau

TW: None? (Feel free to tell me if I missed anything.)

1.9k words

AN: I’m sorry for disappearing, I’ve just been exhausted recently. 

The crowd murmured amongst themselves. All the cooks and guards and servants were gathered in the garden. Ayato stood in front, his sister beside him. When he spoke everyone fell silent.

“I assume you’ve all heard about an incident two nights ago. There was an assassination attempt against our house keeper.” 

The whispers started again. Ayato coughed and they stopped just as quickly.

“Thankfully, one of the servants held the assassin off until my sister could apprehend him.” He looked at you and the crowd followed his gaze. You could feel their stares pricking your skin. Everything told you to run but you held still. “There is an investigation to discover the motive, but I can safely say that something like this will not happen again. Unfortunately, due to the ongoing investigation, I can’t share more details at the moment.”

He left, leaving you alone with the others. They swarmed around you.

“It was you wasn’t it?” A maid asked excitedly.

You raised your hand to wave off the comment but your sleeve fell to reveal your bandages. A planned mistake, but a believable one. 

“That looks pretty bad.” One of the guards commented.

“Well, I’m not a fighter so…”

“So it was you!” The maid exclaimed.

You looked to Thoma for help, only to see that he was in a similar predicament. You thought about going to help before being dragged back by someone tugging your sleeve.

“Your uniform is different.” You recognized this girl, Chiyo. She had introduced herself when you first came to the estate.

“Yes, the doctor said I should wear looser clothing as my wounds heal.”

“It’s very nice.” She rubbed the fabric between her fingers.  “Good quality.”

“Yes."

“Hmm.”

“We really should go get our work done.” You walk off, hoping the staff will leave you alone. They did, except for Chiyo.

“What work would that be?”  She asked suspiciously. “You haven’t been assigned to anything difficult and your schedule is very open.”

“Most of my work is unplanned so it wouldn’t show up on the schedule. If there is too much to do, you can just ask. I’m always happy to help.” Now is not the time to make enemies.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“Thank you.” You held back your sigh and forced a smile. Thoma was still being questioned by the guards. You walked over to help.

“So what were they doing in your room so late at night?” One of the male servants teased.

“I told you, that’s not for me to share.”

“What a gentleman!” The guard laughed, slapping Thoma in the back. 

“It- it’s not like that!” Thoma stuttered. He turned his face away only to end up face to face with you. “Ah!” He covered his face with his hand. “It’s you..”

His hand did little to hide the blush that reached all the way down his neck. 

“Thoma, you could have just told them.” 

Ayato had scripted a response for him, but he had clearly forgotten. You didn’t blame him. He got flustered easily with these sorts of conversations. You sighed and turned to the others. “I had a nightmare that night, so I went to Thoma for help. On the way there I found the assassin. There isn’t anything more to it, we’re just friends.”

“Good luck, Thoma.” One of the guards whispered with a thumbs up.

You tilted your head slightly. “What do you mean?

“Nothing, nothing. I’ll be on my way.” He waved of your comment as he left.

you turned your attention back to Thoma. “So, are you ready?” 

“For what?”

“I’m heading to the market to get herbs.”

“Ahh.” He avoided your eyes. “Well…”

“You signed up for more work, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but I’ll get all my work done early and then-”

“You won’t have enough time, the market closes at noon.”

“I’m sorry.” He drooped, looking like a kicked puppy.

You reached out and patted his head. “It’s alright, I’ll get you some dango. What flavor do you want?”

“Red bean paste…” He answered absentmindedly. “Will you be going alone?”

“Don’t worry about it." You picked up your basket and headed to the gate. "Good bye!" Your hands shook. It had been a long time since you were out on your own. You always dragged Thoma out with you, sticking to his side like a scared kitten. It was embarrassing. You couldn’t keep bothering him. He had work to do. Lost in your thoughts, you ran into somebody.

“Where are you headed?”

You looked up to see Ayato. “I’m headed to the market, my lord.”

He winced at the title. “Why must you keep calling me that?”

“I have to keep up appearances, no?”

“I guess so.” He shook his head. “Doesn’t Thoma usually go with you?”

“He’s working, so I’m going alone.”

“Please, allow me to accompany you.” He held out his hand.

Part of you wanted to say no. You still didn’t trust him completely, and he probably had his own pile of work to do. The other part of you won. “Thank you.” You ignored his hand though and it fell back to his side. 

“So, how are your living arrangements?” He tries to fill the silence as you walk.

“Very nice, thank you.” 

“You are still wearing your uniform.”

“Yes.”

“May I ask why.”

You held up a finger. “One: people are less likely to cause trouble if they know I’m with the Kamisato household. Two: I don’t have other clothes to wear.”

“You don’t have other clothes?” He stared at you.

“No, why would I? It’s not like I go out enough to justify spending mora on fancy clothes.”

“Still, to only have one outfit…”

“Don’t worry, I have two.”

“Two?”

“Two uniforms, so I can keep them clean.”

He stayed silent the rest of the walk, leaving you with the unsettling feeling he was plotting something. The market was quieter than usual. You kept track of when it was most active and planned your trips accordingly. 

You stopped by the old lady’s stall first. She had already prepared the teas you always bought, used to your regular visits.

“Good morning, ma’am.” You bowed. “Thank you.” You reached for your purse and found - nothing? After looking around for a minute you gave up. “I’m so sorry, I’ll come by tomorrow-”

“No, just take it! You can pay later.” She pressed the bag into your hands.

“I can’t take it without paying!” You pushed it back towards her. 

Ayato chuckled behind you. “Here.” He held your hand and dropped a coin purse into it. “You shouldn’t be spending your own money to buy tea for the estate.”

“Thank you, my lord.” You dropped the coins into the tray. “Here’s the extra.” You tried to hand it back to him but he refused. 

“Use this to cover the expenses of this shopping trip and keep the remainder.” He slipped the shopping bag out of your hand. “However, I will be carrying this.”

“My lord, allow me to carry it.” You grabbed at the bag but he just swung it away from you.

“Didn’t you learn about the magic word?” He teased. How old was he, six?

You groaned. “Ayato, please.” 

He stilled and you took the chance to snatch the bag from his hands.

“Thank you.” You huffed. After another moment of silence you started to worry. “Are you alright, my lord?”

“Yes.” He coughed. “Follow me.” He led you down the road to the Laquerware shop. "Miss. Yayoi, did you complete my commission?"

The lady looked up from her work before jumping to her feet. "Yes, Commissioner, but I have a few things I need to confirm."

"Alright."  He looked at you. "This will take a minute."

You nodded and wandered off to the food stalls a few steps away. The coin purse in your hand was quite heavy, so you didn't have to worry about the cost. The takoyaki smelled great, and you could see a boba stall nearby too.

"One order of takoyaki, please!"

The vendor threw in one extra with a smile. "This is for that tea you gave my kid." He shook his head. "I don't know what you put in that thing, but his cold immediately cleared up."

"It's nothing, I'm glad I could help. Thank you for the food." You bowed and turned away only to come face to face with a smiling detective. "Heizou?"

He grinned. "So you know my name! That makes introductions a bit easier. Mind if you share yours, so we're even?" He leaned in.

"Goldie." You steadied your breathing. His face mixed with the memories of that night. The forest, the moonless night, the sound of a million heavy footsteps as you hid. The clouds uncovering the moon when he found you, the new light offering a clear view of your face. 

His gaze was calculated but not cold. "Beautiful mask. You mind if I look closer?" 

"I'm not taking it off." You held it to closer your face. 

"Don't worry, I just want to check this chip on the side." His hand reached out but was caught by another hand.

"Heizou, what are you doing?" Ayato's voice was colder than you've ever heard it.

"So what is your relationship to this mystery person, Commissioner?" Heizou asked, his voice slightly teasing.

"None of your concern." Ayato said. You watched in horror as his hand drifted to his blade. You pressed your hand to his, stopping him.

Heizou watched with amusement. "Interesting." He took a step towards you, observing Ayato's reaction. 

Ayato tensed. 

"There's more going on here, isn't there?" He laughed. “I’d love to investigate further.”

Ayato just smiled back, but you could feel his fingers twitch under your hand.

You sighed and stepped between the two. "Investigate as much as you want, detective, but don't share anything until you have the whole story."

Heizou smiled. "Of course, of course. Anything else to say?"

"Thank you.”

“For what?” He asked, though you both knew. That night, when he saw your face he turned away. He led the army away from you. You didn’t know why he did it, and maybe neither did he, but he chose to lie to save you. Just as he recognized you now, no matter how much he played at ignorance. 

But you said nothing and walked away, dragging Ayato after you. “What was that commission for?” You asked.

He didn’t speak for a moment. He looked away seemingly a bit embarrassed, before handing you a box. “See for yourself.” 

You opened it and unwrapped the soft fabric around the piece. It was a mask, with two red horns and a grin revealing long, sharp teeth. The mask itself was a rust red with gold details. A purple and white rope hung on either side. “Is this…”

“Yes, I’ve heard that you are close with Itto. He cares an awful lot about you. He’s the one who convinced me to hire you, if you haven’t already realized.” He smiled, with a hint of something else behind the expression. “I thought that you might find something like this comforting. Especially since…” He trailed off, not wanting to bring up the chip in your old mask.

“Thank you.” You started to untie the mask from your face. Ayato immediately stepped closer to hide your face with his body. You slipped on the new mask and looked up to him. “It fits perfectly.” You looked up at him with your smiling mask. “Thank you.”

[gryphis-eyes]

⊙ Message from spirits

⊙ Welcome to this very simple but (I hope) useful pick a card, I know its been a while and here is my last attempt to get back to tumblr haha.I don’t have more to say , hope you’ll get the message that will light the fire in your !

⊙ How to pick a pile ? There are differents ways to do it, you can do a little meditation while thinking about the 3 images, you can also use a pendulum, remember to listen to your intuition while chosing and reading the messages those are general reading so not everything will be for you or it will ask you to interpret it based on your situation

◇ Deck used : Rider Waite, Shakespeare Oracle, Phenix Oracle

⊙ Pile 1 : The Cat

Cards ; 3 of cups, 6 of swords R " Tis true. The wheel is come full circle; I am here. ”

One day things go up and one day things go down, such is the nature of Fortuna’s actions. The cards are showing me those 3 muses singing with their cups full of sweet beverage while on the other side of the reading someone is struggling on their boat, going against this raging river’s flow. Some of you seems to be tired of life, you're always fighting, barely resting while other people seems to roam freely through life. Its not fair isn’t it ? I feel like the main issue here is that you're going through a though period and it affect your mental a lot, so of course our brain’s first move is to look at others and be like ”damn look at them, so happy and relaxed while im in this burning house”. Do not throw yourself heartlessly into this path which seems to be the only one, do not look at other, look at you. You might be afraid to do a specific thing (new project ?) Because others seems to do it better or the idea you got already have been done but listen to me ; nobody is doing things better than someone else, succes doesn’t mean its better it just mean it touch more people but it doesn’t mean it is made of quality. That’s why we always got people talking about underated movies, music etc, nothing is better, things are just different. What matter isn’t how amazing you'll do but rather how you will do it because you are not anyone else’s mind, look at the story of the hero with a thousand faces it has been done so so many times in fictions but people dont always realise it, why ? Because all of those fictions have been done by different people so that’s why lord of the ring is so different from star wars. To be honest I was thinking about telling you to go slower but the phenix cards are really telling you to move and just do it ! Be serious about this project wether it mean actually writing a story and publishing it or starting writing it, you got nothing to lose.

⊙ Pile 2 : The Owl

Cards ; 3 of swords R, hangedman ” for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.To me it is a prison. ”

Ive heard ”a haunted heart” part from on the fence by tv girl in mind while reading your cards. I have no contexte about what happened to you but I can tell that it was a wild ride isn t it ? Sit down my dear its time to rest and listen. Whatever happened didnt happen out of the ”univers” cruelty or a ”blessing in disguise” what happened felt like an attack toward you (from your pov) wether its truly the case or not I dont know but I truly think the cards are reminding you to focus on the present since they are hiding the past from me. Do not search for the why, do not search for a blessing coming from it, what was good what was bad do not try to listen to thousand of readers who will tell you how to act (I mostly got those ”forgiveness” speech that every new ager are repeating). You dont need to focus on that past thing you need to focus on yourself and your needs from the present, not the needs you had 5 month ago. You should let your life calm down, put less effort in the world and put more effort for yourself wether its forcing you to have a self care moment or allowing yourself to have a lazy day or just sit down and do nothing but listen to music. The lyrics from ”after the storm” it carry the whole message im trying to give you. Basically, yes what happened suck but its not an excuse to give up on yourself.

⊙ Pile 3 ; The Snake

The lover, 3 of swords R

" The enemy increaseth every day; We, at the height, are ready to decline.There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat; And we must take the current when it serves, Or lose our ventures. "

It's time to risk it all my friend. I have no idea if It's a project, a ritual/spell (I get that most of you are into witchcraft or spiritual thing). See this snake going for the butterfly even if It's small and can avoid the snake’s strike easily, the reptile still go for it. It even look like the snake is using the obstacle in order to jump higher to catch the butterfly. (Idk why I get that you should try to watch samurai champloo). The advice here, is to look at everything that went bad or didn’t work in the past and ask yourself ”why” so now you'll be able to make your action more effective because you have grown a lot since the last time you try that thing or something similar. I feel a big burst of energy so its like everything is here, you just have to act. Like the snake, do not chase your goal or just walk around it until you saw the opportunity. Just go in front of it and strike ! With the Lover I see that this thing is dear to your heart or will light the fire in yourself again. You can do it, you have the power to do so, you can only gain good thing from this situation that will (above of making you happy) will heal something in yourself.

⊙

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch: Look at the Princess Part 2, 2x12

I just love this shot of Crichton:

Farscape summed up:

This ep has one of my favorite scenes: Crichton in space, out-crazing Scorpius, and rescuing himself through sheer insanity. He goes full-on unhinged, using the fact that yes, he is willing to die rather than submit, than be tortured and experimented on.

He takes this and runs with it...and it’s probably the most unhinged we’ve seen him so far tho not as unhinged as he’s going to get and just...

The whole scene is miles more unhinged than my few caps can do it justice but also, only Farscape can get away with rotating between dark despair and pure unhinged hilarity at the speed of light - I mean here is John forcing Braca’s gun towards his right hand yelling “kill my sex life!” UMMM god this show!

PS They are literally gonna have this as ep title later.

Also, yet another instance where dark humor is his lifeline and coping/defense  mechanism. He never loses it, this is how he keeps semi-sane.

This is the first time he hears the chip, isn’t it? That scene is amazing, and heroic, and all sorts of heart-breaking. Because it saves him now but also this is a small appetizer of what it will be like for John to have the voice of his torturer control him, to remove volition. Crichton’s will is extreme, can-move-mountains kind of quality and the chip will strip it from him, just as it will force him to go against all his instincts and feelings and it’s going to be a horror.

Of course, what Scorpius, who has notably recognized John as another individual by now, even if that recognition is in shape of wanting to triumph over him, it’s still a step up from ‘lab rat’ view of the rest of the world, what Scorpius isn’t reckoning with, yet, that Crichton would rather die, literally, than surrender himself, so he better find some other lever, because threatening his life would never work. He eventually does, in s4, Aeryn, and I always found it telling that Grayza, overall nowhere near as brilliant as Scorpius, figures that lever out faster because Scorpius is hampered by his considering any genuine emotion as not worthy of consideration.

But yeah, this really does put Crichton through a ringer and I really love that his falling apart does not make him weak, it makes him human and makes any triumph all the more worthy.

I find myself both understanding Aeryn in this ep, and being very frustrated by her. She wants all these things from Crichton, but she won’t give an inch, or a hint, or a hope in return. The only reason this marriage bugs her is because she loves him because from every other vantage point, it’s a good good thing, and it’s not as if she is from species which believes you can’t marry without romantic love. And Crichton can fight even when broken, as he proves over and over, but he needs something to fight for and now he doesn’t have anything and she is not willing to provide it. The scene where he wants something - some hint that she will return his feelings and she can’t give it to him due to her own demons gets me. He is at a low point and he has nothing to cling to and she can’t give him that something because she herself is not sure she can survive giving any piece of her heart away.

I do love her ‘diplomacy’ with Katralla and Jenovia:

And the awesome putdown line to Casanova guy of ‘it’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you.’ Heh.

But she didn’t even show up at the wedding. Oh Aeryn. So brave in battle, so good at running away emotionally. And D’Argo is being an awesome friend in this one - willing to back up John in whatever,no agendas (unlike Rygel and Aeryn, tho those two have them for different reasons) and his ‘good news/bad news’ cracks is one of my fave things ever but also really does leave John on a happy note going into a crazy situation:

and John bitchslapping Prince Clavor and the story with Zhaan and Moya and Pilot that makes me cry in the sheer defenseless peace and resignation of the ship and pilot and righteous rage of Zhaan.

In conclusion. Yeah, it’s Farscape all right.

[highlordofkrypton]

Love the writing advice of posting everything you write I need to do that more often! May I ask for advice on how to get everything onto the paper? Sometimes I get stuck on the writing phase and the perfectionist in me won’t write it until it’s perfect in my head first.

Of course! I love talking about writing with other writers, it’s how we learn and refine our own processes 😊 How else will we know what works for each and every one of us?

My #1 advice is:

JUST DO IT.

Easier said than done, I know 😂

Until you put writing on a page, there is nothing to perfect. It’s just thoughts that you’re ruminating on. I like to compare it to having anxiety—for me, anxiety came from always trying to plan ahead for every single outcome to the point that it overwhelmed me.

The moment I realized that I was capable of handling any problem if it comes down to it, I was freed. I just have to get out and do whatever I needed to do. If something bad happens, we adapt. If it’s good, well, fuck, that’s the best outcome!

So, I started applying it to writing. Just start, we can go back and edit later. That’s the whole beauty of it. No one knows what your first draft looks like nor do they have to; you can rework it later, but first you need something to work with in the first place.

Just start, and write until you get to the end.

Other tips:

Even if you ‘perfect’ something in your head, it might not translate well on paper. Reading out loud helps a lot for flow, not just dialogue.

Get HYPE PERSON/cheerleader to help you push through! I never wrote a story from start to end before last October. I hated everything I wrote, but I hand-picked one friend to drag my ass to the finish line solely on encouragement.

Once you’ve practiced ‘getting it down’ often enough, it becomes easier and easier and your first drafts become more polished because you understand your style and flow better.

Try just doing. Often, when I write, I kind of go into a trance/mode where I don’t think, I just word vomit onto a page. Anything that comes to mind, just put it down. No editing. Keep going.

If your perfectionism is still blocking you, make a draft called ‘DUMP’ where you just throw all your ideas onto a page. Turns out, whenever I do this, an outline manifests and it’s a lot easier to get a really solid first draft.

GET EXCITED ABOUT YOUR WORK. Don’t worry about the quality, hype yourself up about your IDEA. HEY WORLD, I’VE GOT A STORY TO TELL AND IT’S REALLY COOL!

Most readers are not necessarily writers themselves, and if you’re writing fanfiction, the expectations are at zero for quality. Nobody is paying for this, and I’ve seen people who are more than happy with bullet points outlining a fic and the key events. Things that you consider imperfect will go completely unnoticed by people most people.

Imperfection is where the charm lives. Some thing that you might have forgotten or worded in a way that was interpreted differently might actually open up doors to headcanons, speculation and other beloved things. In my fic that I’m just posting without planning or editing, I got these awesome intricate comments about parallels and theories—none of which was planned, but heck, let’s go with whatever they said! It’s better than anything I would come up with!

Perfection isn’t real anyway; there are too many standards, each of them different for different people. Write what makes you happy.

A couple of the biggest observations I’ve noticed by just dropping chapters without a plan is that I’m a lot harder on myself than anyone else is, and if I’m having fun writing something, that comes through 100% to the readers. It’s actually what matters most. Your passion and your investment shows, and it’s contagious. So, go for it! Do the thing! Live your best life.

I hope this helps and encourages you! There is no right answer, only what’s right for you and gets you going 😁

[harrywavycurly]

Ahhhh can we get the conversations thing with Eddie when we first started dating or like first met??💕

Hiiii babes!! Sure!! This was another fun one😂 so I hope you enjoy!💖

*I just see Eddie being awkward at first and then he gets more comfortable as time goes on*

“Uhh so would you maybe want to go eat with me sometime? Or drink? Or like we could do both? Like Uhm a meal or something.” “Eddie just ask me to dinner don’t make it weird.” “Right. Sorry. Would you like to go to dinner?” “Sure. Let’s go.” “Wait like right now??”

“You can hold my hand Eddie.” “Oh uh okay.” “You’re cute when you’re nervous.” “I must always look cute then because fuck you make me nervous sweetheart.” “I’m adding making dungeon masters nervous to my resume. I think that’s a good quality people look for.” “You’re so annoying.” “Says the one with sweaty hands.”

“Your hair looks nice uh did you do something new to it?” “I put it in a bun.” “It’s a nice bun…” “Thanks Eddie. Want me to show you how to do it? Your hair in long enough.” “Would you? I sometimes put it in like a ponytail or whatever but yeah a bun would be cool.” “Can I braid your hair one day?” “Uhh can we come back to that?”

“You like hot Cheetos?” “Like? No. I love them.” “They are like a torture device in the shape of food.” “If you can’t handle them just say that. They are my comfort food.” “Comfort food?” “Yes. If I’m sad or mad a bag of these bad boys will fix it.” “Okay so I should always have a bag on hand?” “That would be wise.”

“How the fuck do you get around in this thing it’s like driving a fucking boat.” “Hey be nice. This van has been through a lot.” “I can tell. Now where am I going?” “Straight back to being in the passenger seat if you keep talking shit about my ride baby.” “Sorry sorry. She’s a lovely van and she’s doing great.” “That’s better. Now make a left right up here.” “Take a right?” “No I meant lef-” “Eddie this is a dead end what the hell?”

“You made this?” “Yes why do you sound shocked?” “It’s really good.” “Gee thanks baby do I normally make shitty food?” “No you just normally don’t cook.” “It’s Mac and Cheese, a Munson specialty.”

“So uh have you ever like been arrested?” “Like handcuffed?” “Uh yeah.” “No. Jim’s never actually put them on me.” “Jim? As is Jim Hopper? You are on a first name kinda thing with him?” “Yes. I have slight anger issues and have lashed out a few times and he’s been called but it’s nothing serious he loves me.” “Jesus baby…” “Is that like an issue?” “You know I’m like fully a drug dealer right?” “Well yeah but you’ve never been in trouble with Hawkins P.D.” “Im totally fine with you being the badass in this relationship sweetheart.”

“I’m not getting in that canoe baby.” “Why not? It’s totally safe.” “I’ve seen you almost sink to the bottom of this damn lake in that thing so yeah. No. I’m good.” “Fine then enjoy sitting here alone.” “What? You’d leave me here?” “Yes.” “That’s harsh. Fine I’ll get in the damn canoe.”

“So if you’re my boyfriend does that mean I get to wear your vest?” “You want to wear my vest?” “Yes? I’d wear the whole thing but your leather jacket isn’t my style.” “Uh yeah sure baby you can wear it whenever you want.” “Can I add some pins to it?” “If you try to sneak a Madonna pin on my vest I’ll never let you wear it again.” “That’s if you ever get it back.”

[thatfanficauthor107]

Nishiki Nishio headcanons because i need him WHATTT who saaid thattt :0

Includes: Fluff, angst, NO SMUT, neutral

o Found it really hard to adjust to living as a 'normal' member of society after living on the streets most of his life, especially then having to navigate a humans world as a ghoul.

o MAAAAJOR trust issues - grew up with 'every ghoul for themselves' and is struggling to get past it - but he is improving slowly

o will and has jumped at every and any sudden noise - especially to electrical/technology caused ones as he wasn't exposed to anything like that growing up

o doesn't celebrate his birthday because it was the same date his sister was killed, he doesn't see a reason to celebrate anything that day

o the dove who killed his parents is the same who killed his sister, and is hoping to get four for four.

o always stands where he can see everyone in the room and at least two possible exits - nervous habit he can't seem to shake

o always loots the bodies of people he kills, which was at first something he did when he was on the streets but now does subconsciously

o panic attacks.

o has sensory issues - bright lights, loud noises, busy places ect - wireless headphones are his best friend

o after he had fed from Kimi, he apologised for days over and over and over and over and over and had been expecting her to break up with him. He had been distancing himself from her until she confronted him and was genuinely confused when she didn't want to turn him over to the doves

o both craves the familiarity of the environments he lived in on the streets and avoids them as best he can as he can't healthily cope with the overwhelming emotion the memories cause him

o gets nightmares regularly

o sometimes scared to sleep and avoids it as long as he can just to avoid the nightmares when they get super bad

o has insomnia but if you get him to sleep when he’s comfortable mans is OUT

o bisexual (look me in the eyes and tell me his gayass is not a boy kisser)

o dyslexic (idk i just get vibes from him)

o Autistic (self projectionssss)

o always referred to as Ginger and has been compared to Ed Sheeran on multiple occasions (almost every day) (only by Touka) found it funny once. Now is ready to murder.

o lovess spiders. will pick them up and show them to people solely to scare them. he grew up where there was loads of bugs so he just isn't fazed anymore

o he tries his best to learn to cook for Kimi but holy fuck please do not let him

o do not let this man in a kitchen, ever. has accidentally burnt water and will do it again

o he isn’t the kind of person to yap, but if you get him to infodump, clear your whole afternoon he will spare no detail

o there's this one specific spot on the nape of his neck that if you fuss over when cuddling - oh goodness he melts! like purring/purring much louder instantly and body just completely relaxes

o was SO embarrassed when he first purred in front of Kimi, meanwhile she might have just fallen in love with this lanky idiot all over again

o he’s so touch starved

o if he falls asleep near/on you, then congratulations he trusts you a lot (especially if on)

o quality time (!!!!!)

[bonefall]

i saw that ask about cannon ships chem and i realized that the bramble abusing squilf thing is kinda sorta pointed out. But its kinda in a heavily implied, if you squint and tilt your head you can see it kind of way. Like how in the newest arc, every time Bramble and squilf, mostly her, gets brought up, she is Miserable. She is the most depressed she's ever been and Night is constantly kinda going, huh she's in a bad mood again today too, maybe it was brambles fault. Something i noticed also is that i dont remember a single scene of her in the recent books where she wasnt tired and miserable, kinda reminds me of bluestar towards the end of her life but that phase was split between her and bramble.

I'm not holding my breath, but if ASC continues the quality of the past two books, and is actually doing set up that it is planning pay off for, I think this time we might actually get the narrative finally SAYING that Bramblestar is abusive

Because they’ve written Bramblestar making a perfect, textbook example of an abusive "set-up," a situation where Bramble makes a decision that Squirrelflight HAS to defy, so that he can shout at her for it when she inevitably does.

I keep having people show up in my replies to try to tell me, “Oh he has dementia and he doesn’t actually know what he’s doing,“ and... listen, if you really believe that a person with a well-documented abusive past is just accidentally falling backwards into setting up his wife so he can publicly humiliate her, both able to HATCH plans but also MENTALLY INCAPABLE of understanding the consequences, then maybe you are the one with dementia

He tells her not to bother WindClan over the vole. Clan politics means that Squilf needs to say something about it. He manipulates the truth out of Nightheart in an incredibly tense scene where Night is clearly uncomfortable. When Leafstar comes to talk about Tigerheartstar’s little “suggestion“ at the gathering, we get this exchange:

“Let’s see how it plays out.” Bramblestar looked at her steadily. “It’s not like Tigerstar is planning to invade RiverClan.” “Not yet,” Leafstar mewed darkly. “But I can’t help feeling that he was more than just running an idea past us, as you put it. I think he was preparing us, getting us used to his plan, so that when he does act, it will seem less shocking.” “You’re being paranoid,” Bramblestar told her. “Am I?” Leafstar looked at Squirrelflight, clearly expecting the ThunderClan deputy to back her up. But Squirrelflight looked away. “If Bramblestar thinks we should let it play out, then that’s what we’ll do.”

-Sky (page 303 in my PDF)

I cannot read this without immediately being reminded of Squirrelflight’s Hope. This is the EXACT thing that Bramble abused her about for that entire super edition-- the feeling that she ‘wasn’t backing him up’ and taking the side of Leafstar and the Sisters.

He’s upset. He’s mad that when Leafstar leaves, Squirrelflight is angry with him over what he said to her, he’s still thinking about that vole, and so. He gets Nightheart to go spy on ShadowClan... to ‘prove‘ that Tigerheartstar isn’t planning anything.

His extremely reckless grandson, the one who threw himself in front of a hawk, the one who’s desperate to please Bramble. He picks him to go spy when he was the one arguing that Tigerheartstar is totally innocent and they shouldn’t be suspicious of him, preventing anyone else who’s more capable from taking action. When Squirrelflight finds out about this, she tells Nightheart that she completely forbids it, OBVIOUSLY, because this is an awful idea!!

So we could say that the writer here completely didn’t intend any of it and is just so bad at writing that they portrayed literally the opposite (bramble bad) of what they intended (bramble good and noble), but... I’m choosing to give this arc my goodwill for now.

So here’s to hoping this arc ends with an actual Bramble callout

[tea-plantz]

hello! could i request an amity x fem!reader where amity doesn’t get that much time to see reader at school, so she dedicates a weekend for dates and cuddles? tysm have a great day/night!!

Yesss Amity our fav lesbian! I absolutely love getting such sweet requests, and I’m so glad you asked. I wrote this as a straight up fluffshot and it turned out so cute! I’m in love fr

I wasn’t sure whether you wanted s1 Amity or s2/3, therefore I went ahead and picked out my personal cotton candy haired fav, hope that’s fine by you!

She/her for Amity

She/her for reader

-Amity Blight x fem!reader cuddle date-

Amity’s POV:

Ugh this is so annoying! Why does the teacher go on and on about this subject, and why does he talk so slow?! I don’t really know why I bother paying attention anyway, I mean I already know about this stuff because my mom made me study it last year, and it wasn’t even that interesting! Speaking of my mom, she’s been putting a lot of pressure on me lately. Ever since I became my own individual, colored my hair, started hanging out with the people I wanna hang out with, and most importantly: stopped being afraid of her, she’s been more controlling than ever! Mom expects me to put up with all these extra classes and discipline, but I won’t let her get to me. I just wish I could focus on something other than school once in a while… Or someone.

Y/n… I wonder what she’s doing right now.. probably just some boring class as well, haha. I really miss spending quality time with her though, that would be the perfect stress reliever… wait a minute, that’s it! We should do a sleepover! Yes! It’s the perfect thing, and mom won’t be able to bother us either since she’s gone for a couple of days. Welp that settles it! Me and my girl’s gonna spend the entire weekend together, and I’ll show Y/n that I’m an awesome girlfriend. I giggled quietly to myself at the back of the class, imagining what a wonderful end of the week it was going to be, while waiting for that darn bell to scream.

—————————————————————————— Your POV:

I was walking around campus while humming to myself, making my way to my next class. What was it again? Oh right! Beastkeeping! Today, we’re gonna learn how to tame a wild ratworm, how exciting! As I was walking, I suddenly heard someone shouting my name.

“Y/nnnn!!”

Huh? Who could that be? I turned around to find whoever was trying to get my attention. What I saw made me cackle a bit. Amity was running towards me at full speed, before stopping and bending down, hands on her knees while breathing heavily. After she caught her breath she shot up with a wide smile across her face. Such a cutie pie.

“Y/n! I’m so happy I found you!” She said while tucking her hair back behind her ears.

“Hi Amity! Glad to see you too! Now, what’s the rush about?”

“Oh! Well, I’ve been thinking aaand we should maybe I don’t know, do a sleepover this weekend?” Amity said looking a bit nervous, while bouncing on her toes.

“Yes, that’s a great idea! But, don’t you have schoolwork to catch up on? I mean we’ve barely seen each other all week due to your packed schedule.” I answered with a sad expression. I just miss seeing my sweet girl, but I haven’t been able to spend time with her all week, because her mom’s been signing her up for extra classes all over Hexside! Honestly, I feel really bad for her, it must be overwhelming.

“Yeah, I have been focusing an awful lot on my studies haven’t I, haha.. But not anymore! I’m gonna have a talk with my mother, and this time I won’t back down. Plus, she isn’t even going to be home this weekend, because she has an important business conference to attend to, so she won’t be able to bother us! Oh! Maybe we can have a Good with Azura marathon, and perhaps, y’know.. cuddle or something..?”

Amity’s whole face was practically burning up when she asked about that last part (insert tomato Amity) as a nervous smile spread across her face. I could feel my heart flutter as I looked at her with a small blush myself.

“Oh Amity! Of course I wanna spend the weekend with you! It’ll be amazing, gah I can’t wait! *gasp* but I’m running really late right now, see you later, hun!” I practically yelled as I blew her a kiss and ran away.

Amity’s POV:

She said yes! Aaah I’m so excited! Oh my Titan, I have to get home and get everything ready! I’ve gotta make sure that everything is absolutely perfect!

——————————————————————————

Your POV:

Whoof that was a seriously chaotic class. One student even almost got eaten by a ratworm, but alas me and Viney got it under control, thankfully. Oh that’s right! I have a date with Amity now! Is it even a date? Is it okey for me to consider it one..? Meh, it’s probably fine, like come, on we’re dating anyway!

~time skip to Amity’s house~

*ding dong*

I stood there waiting for one of the Blights to open the door as I placed my hands behind my back. Suddenly, the door swung open as Edric and Emira leaned on the doorframe, smirking as always.

“Y/n! Hi girl, how’s it hanging?” Emira said as she gave me an high five.

“Hi Emira! Lovely seeing you both, and I’m doing fine.” I replied with a closed eye smile.

“Hey mittens! Your girlfriend is here!” Edric shouted as he playfully winked at me.

Moments later we all heard the pitter patter of footsteps running down the stairs, before Amity herself appeared in the doorway with a tomato face.

“Edric! I told you to stop being embarrassing in front of-“

“In front of Y/n? Yeah I know, and I guess pet names are reserved only for your special girl here.” Edric said with a smug look as he and Emira leaned on a grumpy looking Amity who was busy hiding her face in her hands, which was practically burning up at this point.

“I hate you guys” she said with a sour tone.

“Love you too, Mittens!” The twins shouted in sync before walking away, laughing.

“Ugh, I swear those two do irritate me on purpose. Anyhow, Y/n hi! I’m so glad you could make it!” Amity said as she gave me a hug.

“I’m glad I could make it too, sweetie! Now, are ya ready for some Good witch Azura!?”

“Haha yeah I am, come on let’s go”

——————————————————————————

Amity’s POV:

Me and Y/n went up to my room which I had personally prepared with a bunch of blankets, snacks and pillows. As we entered I could hear Y/n let out a small gasp before turning to me with that adorable smile.

“You did all this? Wow! You’re just the best, Amity! This is gonna be so much fun!”

She’s just the cutest sometimes.

“Heh yeah! Now sit down N/n while I pop the disk in” (I’m not really sure how TVs and stuff work on the Boiling Isles, but let’s just pretend they work like on earth for the sake of the story)

I grabbed the remote before sitting down beside my girlfriend, who quickly cuddled up to me. I could feel my body stiffening up as she wrapped her arms around my waist. Carefully, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder before looking down at her, but to my surprise she was already up looking at me with that expression.

“W-what?” I asked.

“You’re blushiiiing” she said in a singing voice while leaning closer to my face.

“I- uh, no?” I said even though it sounded more like a question than an answer.

“Let’s just watch the movie” I finished, looking away feeling embarrassed.

“Sure, what ever you say mittensss”

“Stop it”

——————————————————————————

It’s been a couple of hours and we we’re currently on the third movie. I could feel my eyes starting to become heavy as I struggled a bit to stay awake. Then I suddenly heard a gentle snore coming from Y/n. Huh? My eyes wandered over to the h/c girl peacefully snoring away in my lap. Awww she fell asleep, and she looks absolutely adorable! I could feel my cheeks heat up as I carefully bent down, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Then, I slowly lifted her a bit, being careful not to hurt her, before laying down beside her. Wow, she truly is beautiful I thought to myself as I rested by her side, taking my time studying her face. I’m so lucky to have someone like her in my life, I said in my mind while hugging her close to me.

“I love you, Y/n” I whispered before closing my eyes and drifting of, excited to spend the rest of the weekend with the best girl in the whole wide world.

This one took FOREVER to finish! Why the hell did I decide to make it so long?! Anyhow, I truly hope you guys enjoyed!