#i really hope in restoration that they go back to s9-10 and the sarcophagus

[fischiee]

#this fuckery is why david church is my fav au. it just gets ten times worse and i love unraveling the layers of this#epsilon and wash’s relationship is like onion…. makes you cry (via. @khimkito)

ok to this DAY i am so sad that rt didnt explore carwash!siblings because it was pretty prevalent in ~2015 fandom and it makes their relationship so much more insane and meaningful especially when you add epsilon into the mix!

like imagine your sister being better siblings with the ai version of your dad (who you both hate) that tried to kill itself inside your mind than she is with you...

but like the thing about wash and epsilon is that. they both know... everything about each other. epsilon exploded into all the memories of everything he's ever experienced (as the director, as alpha, and as himself) and in turn epsilon was implanted in wash's mind and therefore saw everything about him. so epsilon and wash should be two characters who know more about each other than any one else in the world, even though neither of them really want the other to

and the fact that wash is not actively hostile towards epsilon is honestly a plot hole like that bitch (affectionate) tried to kill him numerous times and wash is known for his anger issues (idk if y'all read the rvb book but it has a section where it talks abt wash literally nearly killing a teen for bulling him when he was in high school, it was described as him going... very overkill) and he has like all of the worst trauma from him, so for them to have barely any relationship, implying that wash doesn't care abt him very much is so insane.

ALSO! i almost forgot that the ai were chosen SPECIFICALLY for the freelancer that they were originally assigned to. like think abt how well delta & york and theta & north and even wyoming & omega got along, like the fact that that should could have been wash & epsilon (but somehow carolina and epsilon still work well together,,, almost like wash and carolina are very very similar,, almost like they're related,,,,) and the show just never addresses the fact that these two characters are supposed to be so well aligned that they could live in each others minds and find harmony and connection but instead epsilon nearly destroys wash and himself.

@fischiee @khimkito

lmao im making a separate post rather than tacking it onto the orig bc I don't wanna flood notifications every time I have big feelings about this but. yeah???

literally everything about those two make me so unwell. I'm never not thinking about it. bc the whole. not just having to second hand (or.. third? alpha then epsilon Then wash).. okay so third, I guess. anyways. being essentially subject to the same sort of torture and psychological abuse that alpha was via epsilon? and that on top of the directors original distress over allison? epsilon trying to kill himself inside his head! what tf does that even. bc they really only sort of handwave talk about it. what in the fuck does it actually Mean for an ai implanted in your brain to try and kill itself. and having to keep all of it a secret. for months if not years. the not being able to tell anyone?

(there's a weird sort of somber acknowledgment and tender empathy when it comes to wash and alpha too. bc wash Knows. he knows all of it?? even if alpha doesnt? the distress and insistence and confusion and loss that comes with tex not being at valhalla? 'I know all about her, church' even if church doesnt! even if He doesn't remember, wash does? what a burden that must be. that wash was the last of the team to actually see and speak to and be with church before he and all of the other fragments were erased? what sort of! and there's no justice in it! he gets his ass thrown into prison and then he has to work with whatever tf is left of maine in the Maybe hopes of getting his slate wiped clean.)

the odd fucking bizarre. wash and lina and epsilon and tucker (and caboose but he's a whole other.. im not awake enough to be able to talk about my feelings when it comes to caboose lmao)

but wash was the last person to see alpha. and then epsilon comes back and has no idea who tf tucker is bc caboose just didn't feel the need to. like? in a weird ass roundabout way, wash killed alpha and epsilon got cozy and familial with lina and both wash and tucker are left sorta stranded lmfao.

(and the behind the scenes lina&epsilon dynamic too. we really don't get to see the process of them becoming actually super fond and siblingy with one another but they are?? they went on a quest so lina could kill the director but nope leonard is just a lost defeated broken hearted wreck and that's her Father, at that point. pathetic and hopeless and so so tired. the grief and resignation and acceptance in leaving him to kill himself. epsilon and his bewildered righteous rage. they had that one chat about allison at the end of s10 but obviously there must have been more bc epsilon mentions allison a few times throughout chorus! do they talk about their feelings? does carolina ever get to properly acknowledge and process all her grief?)

like carolina is So Close to epsilon and that has to be so.. disconcerting at times for wash. bc he tried to kill himself while fucking! implanted into his brain! (and ive always figured that there's things wash must Know about carolina and all of her family drama. just as product of epsilon being alpha being leonard. yknow? but it'd also stand to assume that epsilon (and lina, maybe)) Know Things about wash. what sort of secrets do they keep for the sake of maintaining that illusion of privacy and boundaries.

I have stuff to say about tucker too but that might need to wait until after I have a sleep bc asdfghjkl.