#i really have had a genuinely awesome time being here in this fandom even if I've only been here for a little while

[stevens-pastrami-sandwich]

HAPPY 17TH ANNIVERSARY TO THE SHOW THAT CHANGED MY LIFE!! 🎉🥳🎂

So maybe I'm a bit late to the party.. but that's not important 🤫🫶

[altocat]

FFVII FANDOM PSA

I've seen several of my mutuals being accosted by the same loser troll that's been stalking my inbox. They have a distinct way of typing and bizarre no-context fixations that make them very easy to distinguish. They will attack you over nothing. Sometimes they'll go after you over random posts you made weeks ago. And they are not afraid to get personal. I've had them literally stalk and document my active hours online so that they could make a low-effort comment about the kind of person I must be irl. They've commented on my home life, my pets, my tastes, my presumed relationships, everything. All without actually knowing me. All in an effort to be malicious. Just really weird, creepy behavior.

Anyway, I'm telling you all this because it's likely they will eventually show up in your inbox. And yeah, at first it's cute to flash a snarky comeback or two. I did that at first. But I can assure you that that's exactly what they want--attention. Your best course of action, regardless of what they say, is to IGNORE them. Don't engage. Don't acknowledge. They are liquid filth beneath your feet. They don't deserve your attention. They are a cowardly troll hiding behind the anon setting. They are not worth your time, energy, or talent.

I hate that it took me this long to figure that out. I hate even more that I have to post about this in an effort to bring attention to this issue, thus giving them their fifty seconds of fame. I TRIED to be diplomatic, wanting to settle the issue privately over DMs. They don't want to talk, nor are they genuine, even if they claim to be. They're a troll. That's all they are, and all they ever will be.

Please stay safe out there. Everyone deserves a safe, fun, and welcoming atmosphere here. You are all worth so much more than whatever pathetic insults they're able to squeeze together. Keep an eye out and take nothing they say to heart. They deserve nothing.

Love you guys. Stay awesome.

[king-crawler]

HEY HI HELLO

Sorry for the random message here In the asks, it's ok if you don't see this or answer it since you probably got a lot already and I understand if you don't see this!/gen

But first of all, I just wanna say

I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT WATCHED YOUR ANALYSIS VIDEO SOONER IM SO FUCKING LATE MAN

It's so well done and so fucking funny, I was literally smiling and cackling through the whole thing, it's shocking how similar our humor is

NOT TO MENTION THE END SCENE AREE YOU KIDDING HOW DID YOU MATCH THE LYRICS SO PERFECTLY TO THE FUCKING LORE ITS INCREDIBLE 😭💜/GEN, POS

It's insane how much dedication is put into it, let alone singlehandedly feeding turbo fans as myself

Genuinely thought it's so nice seeing more content for a hyperfixation I've had since 2012, and the fandom coming back along with this video Genuinely brings me so much joy as someone who's loved this movie since I was a kid

Sorry for the ramble but genuinely thank you for making that video, I can't wait to see what other stuff you do, wreck it ralph or not I WILL be tuning in/gen, pos

Okay second of all

The main reason why I'm sending this is because of sometning I noticed while rewatching a scene in the movie

Now, this might be me over analyzing as I usually do but it feels TOO. OBVIOUS.

SO

IN the kart bakery scene where vanellope and ralph go to bake a kart, they obviously make their way into the building and into the main room

You see all the Karts of course, and It pans to the one vanellope chooses

Which, at first glance you wouldn't really pay too much attention, especially when watching it for the first time, she's just picking the model she likes

..but looking back at the scene

Vanellope's kart model, how it was supposed to look, looks very

Familiar

Because the kart she chose..

...is a red and white kart

With stripes down the middle, with a very similar shape to a..certain persons kart. Now this might just be nothing, it's probably just like I said, and over analysis on my part

But the kart the chose looks WAY too similar to turbo's, not to mention the stripe is down the middle, just like turbo's car on the cabinet art of him

And vanellope could've chosen ANY kart

But it was that specific kart she chose, out of any of the karts

Not to mention in some of vanellope's concept art...

(Art made by Lorelay Bove)

..Vanellope's concept design and turbos designs strike SCARILY uncanny resemblances to each others designs

From the helmet and colors

All the way down to her GOGGLES having the SAME. YELLOW. TINT. that candy's have in the movie, which have the same effect here. There's no way that this didn't have the intent to mirror turbo purposefully

So with that in mind, the kart vanellope chose in the kart bakery scene being turbo foreshadowing, wouldn't be too out of place, nor would it be too far off

Turbo's foreshadowing was always prominent, even in the smallest details you wouldn't focus on, just like he's infecting this world as a virus, little by little, everywhere. You. Turn.

Aaaand that's basically all I have to really say

Sorry for the long ramble, I've been thinking of submitting this for awhile now, especially after I told a friend about this and they mentioned that this should be submitted to you

So I decided to go ahead and just do it, no matter how wild my comparisons might sound-

Anyways, I hope you have a good day, night, or what time it may be, and keep being awesome! I can't wait to hear back if you see this! Bye-bye! ❤️🏎🏆

P.s

I've been quoting these since I watched the video and haven't stopped

Thanks for destroying my humor even more-/pos

Okay bye bye now-

-skitters away-

NO YOU'RE SO FUCKING RIGHT OH MY GOD VANELLOPE WAS ALWAYS A TURBO PARALLEL??? CHAT IS THIS TRUE. IVE NEVER SEEN THAT CONCEPT ART OF HER TEEHEE THANKS FOR SHARING

also God. This is 99% just a coincidence with zero merit because its such a common gesture- but Ralph and Vanellope doing their thumbs up.. maybe Turbo parallels ?? and like the EXACT same poses too:

Vanellope having one hand on the steering wheel and the other doing a thumbs up while facing the camera.

Ralph hunched over doing the double thumbs up with the visor tinting his face yellow. EXCUSE ME HMMM?? WHAT THE FUCK??

NOW COULD I BE CHERRY PICKING? PERHAPS. but when Turbo has barely a minute of screentime, there's not a lot i can pick from, and things SURE ARE LINING UP... (I'm cherry picking)

SO SHHHHHH... ❤️❤️❤️❤️ LET ME HAVE MY LITTLE CONSPIRASCY

[bluginkgo]

Ep 8 Thoughts and Details Part 2

Some thoughts and details I had while watching ep8, and some parallels I found. And yes, I had to split this into 2 parts because Tumblr said "fack you, you can only upload 30 images :P"

Spoilers, duh

Didn't see part 1? Here it is, cause Tumblr doesn't like more than 30 images per post TwT

OMG YOU SILLY GOOBERS, AND THE WAY UZI INCLUDED V DESPITE V NOT EVEN WANTING TO BE PART OF IT TwT

As much as this entire scene was tense about Uzi eating the AS and becoming fused with it- this frame, this facking frame killed me XD Just the D: WHAT ARE YOU DOING- WHY DID YOU DO THAT- I could hear it clearly XD

Could probably be me looking too far into it, but another call back from Liam's first teaser of Murder Drones.

As many people as I have seen being upset with how this reunion turned out to be, I found it adorable and funny. Khan has no idea what that thing even is. And the fact that Nori isn't as cool and serious as she was made out to be in all of the flashback scenes and ep7 is that much more endearing. The angsty side of her is still there, much like Uzi's personality of not really liking close heart to heart moments.

KHAN IS NARUTO RUNNING???? XD

Originally pointed out by @/observer on twitter and absolute scoliosis lives on XD As well as the T-rex stance <:3

God forbid I love this trio. They've been through so much and still came out victorious after fighting a whole ass eldritch being capable of eating planets. V still V but softer and kinder, N still N but more willing to stand up for himself, and Uzi still Uzi and angsty rebellious teen that has an awesome new eye style and friends and family.

"Forget about all of this instantly, get tunnel visioned on spooky corpse robot reveal. Work backwards from there."

You know, I had a silly thought. I wouldn't even be mad that this is how Murder Drones came to be. That Liam's idea of Murder Drones started with the reveal of Cynessa entity and then worked backwards from there- creating the characters to surround the event instead of starting with say Uzi's personality, etc.

VIZZY MY BELOVED WHAT-

You know what... you know WHAT I SAW THIS SOMEWHERE-

Proceeds to connect the dots that aren't even there (Murder Drones Intermission by @/ghoulinfuschia)

But hey, that's what my brain loves to do. But funny how it turned out to be somewhat similar XD Perhaps the context was different but the fact that my brain said "hm, yes, you connect this here and that there." and I just rolled with it TwT

Overall, I genuinely loved the entire episode and, of course, the series. I'm eternally grateful for Liam creating this masterpiece and for every person that took part in creating Murder Drones. This show was the hyperfixation I needed, the thing that I've craved since being in the fandom that I had been for the longest time prior. I'm sad to see this show end so soon, but all great things must come to an end. And I'm glad I was here to see it, even if I was here since ep6 only TwT Either way, I will be haunting this fandom with my presence for a little longer while. Many projects I want to see happen, comics I wish to share, and friends I wish to meet. Until then, see you later >:P

Have a cookie for making it this far XD 🍪

[iloveundertaesooomuch]

Some advice from AU Calebs!

Heck yeah I did it! Finally i finished ONE of the HUNDREDS AU crossover ideas I have in my head!! Crossovers are fun guys!! (I apologise for a bad english in advance. Writing this it a rush.)

"It's ok to ask for help." (A Reverse Of Feathers And Mud by @jess-the-vampire)

I couldn't make a crossover meme without the legend. Sorry, not sorry. He is such a sad lad but tries to stay positive and be happy for his family uydfykudsutsudskudsluds (*dies*). I have to admitt, Caleb's dad energy is too strong for me to handle without wanting a hug him. No wonder! He was THE grandpa for centuries straight without a break. At least Caleb gets his whole family together in the end. Comics with him and either Hunter and Philip or Luz and Eda make me run in cirles around the room aaaa.

"You are not a burden." (Brother's Keeper by @idoodlestuffsometimes)

Damn, you definetly created one of the darkest AU in the fandom. Each time I re-read AU related posts I scream my lungs out because it is so angsty and so great. I am genuinely scared of your Belos ngl, because.. this man didnt loose anything and he still proceeds to do all that stuff. Enconter with him has 0 survival rate.

POOR CALEB! At least in the world of memes he had an opportunity to flee the captivity twice (the bald head and the car). This man had no moment of mental rest for centuries oh my God. One of my friends wants to fight his brother personally to protec Caleb at all cost sksksk. Well, at least Hunter will always have an actually loving relative! And if the happy ending is going to be canon, I think the future looks great, especially knowing how much pain all your characters go through currently. (And I think both Caleb and Hunter would need the "you are not a burdain" affirmations. At least some form of support in their situation.)

You said in the latest ask-answer that BK!Caleb was supposed to have white streaks in his hair so I attempted to add them. Hope they look fine! Colors for the outfit I got from Belos, so they would match, I guess???

"Murder is okay." (Loose Strings by @oldmanpip)

My bro, brother, friend... Despite you being not to involved on the discord server, my brain is still rotting with your great awesome AUs. And I know you know that. Your Caleb is really loose in all sences of that word and I love that. Wonder if your AUs will ever be available to the public. Because oh boy oh boy they deserve to be recognised. (Loose Caleb is such a conservative grandpa who never did anything wrong, wdym?)

"Your feelings matter." (Pip In Time by @celestialscribbler)

Honestly? Man, your comic is the reason I got invested in Witteclaw couple at all. Even if the "Pip in time" is not their story, but you wrote their teen romance so sweetly. Those two melted my heart... I scream each time I re-read your comic for 100th time. Just WOAH my brain goes brrr! And Caleb as a character is also written really really well. I love him so much. He is such good brother but MAN HE NEEDS A BREAK FROM BEING AN ADULT! BOY! Insirt crying and heart emojis here.

(PS: hope you still care about your health!)

My thoughts:

I have been drawing this for more than a month I think? And the only reason for that is my university. I hope to actually get an ADHD diagnosis because something is clearly wrong with me. But thats not the point.

There are so many ideas in my head. Goofy and not. The only problem is that I have less and less ability to do what I want lately. I wish I could bring them all to life, but at the same I dont know if anyone will be interested. Would AU crossovers look too self-indulgent? Or nah? Idk. (Just Grimwalker-Isle already has so much potential for stupid ridiculous fun I am runnin on coffee juice.)

Litteraly my mind is plagued with different fun plots and possibilities I am going crazy. But I also have A TON of WIPs that I need to finish. Perhaps I will attempt to manage everything at once, but, no promises.

Wish me luck on my exams!

[bougiebutchbinch]

THANK YOU OMG You summarized my thoughts on trans character fic lately, it feels like it’s treated like a kink. One thing that I feel like shows me that is there’s never any mention of bottom growth in those fics yk? It’s always treated like “guy with vag” instead of “trans guy” and it sucks to see that kind of fetishizing adjacent fic get popular :,( also they never make the trans characters tops so the whole vibe is off. Every trans guy I know is a top/vrs an there good at it !

YEAH it's just so weird....... There seems to be very little fic with transmasc characters that actually touches on bottom dysphoria resulting from penetration, or bottom growth, or vaginal dryness (why are all your transmen on T constantly gushing?) or acne.... There's some fics that include T-induced hirsutism, which is awesome! But just.

Give me trans men who've had bottom surgery. Give me trans men who exclusively top their partners - yes, even their partners who have penises 🙄. Give me trans men who have complicated relationships to penetration and genuinely don't enjoy it and never want to be penetrated, anywhere. GIVE ME TRANS MEN WITH BOTTOM GROWTH. please.

Like obviously yes, trans bottom guys exist - but, same here, the vast majority of transmascs I know personally, myself included, prefer to top or are vers. Yet in fic, it's fully the other way around?? It's so weird?????

I just wanna shake fandom as a whole and be like. You know pussy =/= bottom, right??? You know people with vaginas top all the time and that is hot and sexy and awesome???????? You know that people with dicks often really enjoy being penetrated, right????? You know some people with vaginas exclusively top, and some people with dicks exclusively bottom, yeah? Your acknowledgement that genitalia doesn't define people's sexual preferences doesn't go out the window as soon as you include a trans character in your smutfic, right?????????

To be clear: there's no WRONG way to write a trans character, unless you're being purposefully hateful. There's certainly no wrong way to BE trans! But the absolute lack of variety in smutfic is very exhausting, and it flaunts a kinda narrow-minded and fetishizing view of transmen that makes fandoms feel pretty unwelcoming.

[gffa]

Hi :)

I'm a pretty new SW fan, not because I didn't like the movies/hadn't seen them but because I grew up thinking it was extremely nerdy and would often feel awkward trying to bring up anything related to SW.

Fortunately I've finally reached and met awesome people who love SW just like I did but I feel like I lost A LOT of important stuff and there's so much content to the saga that it's extremely overwhelming for me to even think about diving into the whole SW universe and catch up.

I've been following you for a bit and your posts are just extremely interesting to me but again, sometimes I'm a little confused about certain things and so I wanted to ask you if you had any recommendations about where to start catching up (besides the movies which I will be binge watching soon hehe)

Hi! Welcome to Star Wars fandom, I hope you're having a good time! And around here we embrace being as nerdy as possible--I mean, fandom is such a mainstream thing these days, but I still like to embrace being a nerd about things because it leads to a lot more happiness, to just be silly and having a good time with the thing that tickles our brains.

But, yes, it is pretty overwhelming when you're first arriving, I still remember when I first came back to SW several years ago, having really only watched the movies as a kid, and there was All This Stuff and it seemed impossible to ever reach the deep end of the pool, and that was before the last seven years of books, games, movies, comics, etc. came out! I will hopefully set your mind at ease with this, though: The vast, vast majority of content that Star Wars puts out isn't anything I would consider "essential". It's wonderful, fantastic stuff! But a lot of us have just been around so long that we're combing through the finer details of supplementary material, rather than those being absolute Must-Read/Watch To Get A Feel For Star Wars.

My recommendations for How To Get A Feel For Star Wars is basically, start with the animated series and the live action series, they're the second layer of foundation in the Star Wars building, all the comics and novels and such will be built on them, and in this order: - The movies, this is the foundation on which everything else will be built. - The Clone Wars, season 1-6 are part of George Lucas' story and they're pretty essential (at least in this corner of SW fandom) to understanding wtf anyone is talking about or even watching many of the live action series. (Season 7 is fine and should be watched! It's just not part of Lucas' Star Wars.) - Star Wars: Rebels, starts off light-hearted but really is one of the best developed shows and does a lot of connective work between the prequels and the original trilogy. - The Mandalorian, set 9 years after Return of the Jedi, this show just massively blew up and while each season is slightly less well-done than the previous one (imo), it's well worth watching for wtf fandom is talking about half of the time. (The Book of Boba Fett is somewhat optional in this corner of fandom, but imo worth the watch. Generally, it should go Mando s1-2 --> TBOBF --> Mando s3.) - Obi-Wan Kenobi, because this corner of fandom lost our goddamned minds about it and still haven't gotten them back. - Andor, which is a really great show and, as long as you've watched Rogue One first, you'll follow along just fine. Does some solid connecting the dots between the prequels and the originals, but not as much as Rebels did. - Jedi: Fallen Order, you can look up a "movie" version on YouTube for the story of this game, which is a really good plot, has some great new characters, has some genuinely effective cameos, and will be referenced fairly often in other materials/in fandom.

If you're not feeling overwhelmed by All The Star Wars You've Consumed, I would personally suggest going for the comics next, over any of the novels. The novels are great! But the vast majority of them are self-contained and meant to be supplementary material even more than the comics, which get to tell bigger, more connected stories. I always suggest starting with: - Star Wars 2015 by Jason Aaron + Darth Vader 2015 by Kieron Gillen, both of which are really, solidly fantastic stories about the timeframe just after A New Hope, like there are so many absolutely banger lines that came out of these comics. I won't spoil them, just know that I think these were legitimately good comics, not just legitimately good Star Wars comics. (The first six issues of each series are meant to be read concurrently, but after that, you can just pick one and read in that specific title.) - Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith 2017 by Charles Soule, which is set in the immediate aftermath of Revenge of the Sith. If Gillen's Vader keeps the mystique of the originals Unknowable Darth Vader, then Soule's Vader is more about the absolute BATSHIT DRAMA that is blending Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader. This series is BANANAPANTS in the absolute best way. - Obi-Wan & Anakin 2015 by Charles Soule, which is a five-issue mini-series set between The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones and is both stunningly beautiful art and a solidly good plot that survives fairly serious analysis of. It's got some great worldbuilding details, but even more I like it for the look at why a young Anakin chooses to stay with the Jedi Order.

The one book I will recommend--for a list aimed at getting you caught up on what fandom is referencing--is the Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matthew Stover, that book is quoted constantly, and I'm not sure any other SW book has ever been as good as it is.

I feel like this is the best set of reading to get you familiarized with the source material that tends to come up the most! There's lots more that's really good, but once you get through the above, you can let me know what era or characters you're most interested in or if you have a specific question about something and want to see where it comes from!

But there's one thing to address and you're kinda going to have to figure out how to approach it on your own. 😂 There is a ton of stuff in SW fandom that's ostensibly from a book or a comic, but the version in fandom often comes from those who never actually read the books/haven't read them in a long time or are just picking them up from other fic and meta.

For example, the AgriCorps or Melida/Daan get referenced in fic and in posts all the time, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend reading the Jedi Apprentice series (I mean, I'm not your mom, feel free if you want to!) and often times how they're used in fic is not how they were used in the source material. Or the clones speaking Mando'a comes from the Legends books by Karen Traviss and she is a whole big can of ugly worms (both what she wrote and her IRL politics), as well as much of what she wrote was overwritten/discarded when The Clone Wars came out, but fandom likes the idea and so they put that into their fics (as they should, if they like it!). The idea of Mace using the lightsaber form of Vaapad is from Legends sources (the best source probably being the Shatterpoint novel by Matthew Stover, I'd guess?), same for his ability to see "shatterpoints" in the Force, which aren't part of Lucas' continuity or Disney's continuity, but fandom enjoys using them to flesh out Mace's character. This will get you started and, if you're looking for something more specific, feel free to ask, I enjoy these kinds of question--and don't feel you have to stick with any of the above if they're not fun for you. This is meant to be enjoyable, it's meant to have a good time, there's no wrong way to consume Star Wars media! <3

[vaperarmand]

this is such a fucking stupid question but. do you have any advice for developing a good understanding of characters? like i wish i could put those guys into situations but it's like there's a mental block and my mind goes blank as if they're Unfathomable Real People Who I Cannot Possibly Hope To Ever Understand.

no not a stupid question! actually a really good question. it's such a good question in fact that i don't have a simple answer so i'm going to. word vomit onto the page and hope something sticks. i ramble like crazy so have a read more :)

precursor: i have to note that i feel like armand and daniel are the two characters i've like. Understood. more than any other characters in my life. i think that's because i relate to them both in very distinct but separate ways (we'll discuss that later) but i think it's also because. part of anne rice's writing and the show's adaptation is so determined to break these characters down to their fundamental parts. that's kind of the thesis statement of the books, even, that when you live forever you're no longer a "product of your time" but rather just you, yourself, and you kind of have to spend the rest of your eternal life figuring out who that is. so that to me gives both a flexibility and a set of basic building blocks for each character that you can play with.

that being said, here are a couple of ways i maybe go about building understanding:

option 1: the projectorrrrr (this is me most of the time)

if you like looking at your character and going "ha ha i do that" then that's awesome. do that! figure out what parts you relate to and think, okay, if the vampire armand was me, how would he react to my coworker saying this. alternatively, if i was the vampire armand, would would i do if i'd just broken a 500 year vow to myself?

this is where, like, critical thinking comes into play of course, because you are not the vampire armand and the vampire armand is not you. but 1) you're allowed to play around in the sandbox and have fun without constantly going "He Would Not Fucking Say That" because uhhh. this is fandom and we are doing this for fun and 2) once you to get to the point where you're kindly going "He Would Not Fucking Say That" you can then be like oh! well what would he say? because the contrasts are often as fun to explore as the comparisons

option 2: that's my friend

i also think you genuinely can view characters as Real People — but you can hope to understand them!!! or at least you can understand Your view of them, which doesn't have to perfectly match mine or anyone else's view.

this is going to sound crazy and part of the reason why i feel like i don't have a good answer to your question, but genuinely my best writing happens when i uhhh. hear them speaking. in my mind. this is literally a developed skill because like 4-5 years ago i was terrible at writing dialogue and it frustrated me + i never had good ideas for fics because i just wanted to write meta posts. so i was like. i'm going to get good at writing dialogue if it kills me. imagine you're talking to them or they're talking to someone else. look up writing prompt sentences (like on roleplay blogs if nothing else) and think about how they'd respond. i'm at the point where i'll decide on a situation and will sit in silence for a minute, imagine them like dolls in my head, and go "SPEAK!" and wait to hear what they'll say.

my final tip is to please please remember if nothing else that this is supposed to be fun and that at the end of the day it is just playing with dolls online with your friends. you're allowed to be wrong. in fact you probably will be. but that's okay! you can start small and be wrong and as long as you're having fun and enjoying putting your characters in scenarios it's all worth it

[icypantherwrites]

hi hello I normally do asks anonymously but I wanted you to personally know

I found you a couple days ago i believe and oh my god. Are you like, an angel?? Dude. You’ve written over 200 works, nearly 90% of them being in the vld fandom. I feel like no one gives you enough credit for your contributions to fanfic, especially in the vld fandom. I can’t even begin to think of 20 ideas for a fanfic. You’ve had probably over thousands. You are genuinely one of the most talented writers I’ve ever come across. I love how you write angst and pain. It’s done so in a way that can hurt you so deeply yet leave you wanting for more. Just perfectly encapsulated what it is like to read angst because you did it. in a way that clearly shows you understood the assignment. I love how you write yearning and internal turmoil. I love how you write rising tension and build up anticipation. It leaves me on the edge of my seat every time and I get so excited every time something super important happens. I love how you write each of the characters’ relationships with one another. It can literally feel so personal to see them interact. my favs of yours are probably keith and shiro <and> lance and hunk. You are such a great writer and I don’t think you get enough recognition or appreciation because oh my god. Every time I read your works it is just masterpiece after masterpiece. And the way you end them?? You know just how to make an ending to a story so satisfactory. Because you write the beginning to be satisfactory. You write the middle to be satisfactory. You write every single chapter, paragraph, sentence, and word to make sure that the story concludes in a way that leaves you feeling content. I am genuinely always baffled at how godly your writing is. How you never get any credit where it is clearly due is completely insane. You have done wonders in this world, even if it just seems like a little corner of it. You were here. And you did good for so many. You are so amazing and I don’t know how many ways I could possibly tell that to you. If you ever were to write an original work I would make sure to personally buy ten thousand copies all on my own. Because I know damn well that if you wrote it, it is going to be one of the best pieces of literature ever written. You are so. So. So so so so so so so so soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing. And awesome. And cool. And great.

So much love.

You are incredible.

🩷🩷

So I would like to preface this response by noting that I've had regular asks closed for the last few months due to just a lot of negative feelings with the entitlement behind the asks, and anonymous asks closed for the last year due to various reasons but the most common one being trolls and hate mail. Following a recent livestream on my Patreon I kind of said screw it, let's just see how it goes again and opened them and so the fact that this absolute sweetheart gem of an ask is the first thing I get not even two days later is just... wow, thank you. I've only read this like ten times now.

I just wanted to say this comment makes me feel very seen and appreciated and all of the kind words are backed up by the fact I do indeed recognize your name (so I am glad you didn't submit this as anon!) as having popped into a number of my stories over the past week or so and leaving such sweet comments. It truly means a lot. And as an aside, I am very excited to see you (hopefully) back for the final chapters of Missing as (ironically) a lot of the audience went missing the last few ;p So I do hope you enjoy it and would love to hear your thoughts there! As you observed, it's definitely a bit of a rough go to put all this time and effort into writing and sharing my works and not really seeing a lot of folks engaging with the stories any more, but I'm still trying my best to post for as long as I can. And readers like yourself are the reason I do try to continue to do so 🧡

I also just wanted to highlight of this entire highlight of a comment the little bit you mentioned about how I end stories. Thank you. I strive really hard to not just 'finish' a story but to wrap up every tangent and every little loose thread into a pretty bow so nothing ever feels unfinished and it's not always an easy thing to do. But I've read plenty of stories where it just ends and it's like, but wait, it was so abrupt, it feels incomplete, and I don't ever want anyone to feel that way reading my stories.

I have unfortunately given up my dream of writing my own original novel as I've lost a lot of faith in my abilities due to the continual decrease of engagement and just feeling like nothing I ever write will be good enough, but thank you so much for the encouragement and the kind words. I don't think it'll ever happen, but if it does I'll for sure post a link to purchase my novel on Tumblr ;p

I could gush about all the little, beautiful details you wrote in this for hours but I will cut myself off here. But thank you, truly, for such a sweet message and kind words and I do hope to continue to see you in the comment sections of my stories for the little bits of sunshine you bring into my life🧡

[thispatternismine]

ATLA live action impressions part 2

Following on from last night's post, here are my impressions of eps 5-8

Still really loved it. Gonna be tarred & feathered for this but I actually like it better than the animated show

Highlights:

Ozai giving Zuko credit for finding the Avatar. There's this weird idea in the fandom that Ozai never intended to take Zuko back. Even though we saw him do exactly that at the beginning of Book 3. Yes he set an impossible task, but when Zuko (apparently) achieved it, he was like 'ok yeah cool - you have met my standards'. Sure, there's no way Zuko would have continued to meet those standards if he'd stuck around, but Ozai did actually keep his word. The fact that he does it to make sure Azula knows she's overstepped & remind her she's replaceable, is an especially nice touch

Getting to see how Azula is treated by her father. I've seen way too many people try to claim Azula was never abused because she wasn't literally set on fire like he was. Never mind that she avoided that fate only because she was able to meet his standards. And having to constantly strive to meet the standards set by someone who thinks 'find a guy who's been missing for a century' is a suitable task to set his kid is abuse.

Another annoying tendency of the fandom is to flanderise Ozai into some diabolical caricature who spends all his time thinking up new ways to torment poor Zuzu, so having that scene of him banishing Zuko was a nice touch. He genuinely believes he is being a good dad & raising his kid to be strong (note: This isn't me saying Ozai is right - I'm saying he thinks he's right.)

The 41st Division 😭

Iroh & Ozai interacting with each other

Gyatso!

I spy some female soldiers! A problem with the animated show was that it's all well & good deciding that the Fire Nation has female soldiers, but bias is a thing & 99.9% of the time if you ask someone to draw a soldier it'll be a man. Yeah sure they all stayed to guard the Fire Nation that's why we didn't see any till Book 3 suuure

"Anything you need." "It has to do with Koh." "Anything but that." DYING

Aang's whole speech to Zuko about how helpful his notebook was (let's be real Iroh probably sighed & told him it was a waste of time so this was the first time he heard 'Hey good job on the Avatar research!') & the way they bonded before he unwittingly set Zuko off

"Quit it before they think there's something wrong with you. More than there already is."

"The Firelord deems your performance... below average." OOF. Pretty sure that's the worst thing you can possibly say to Azula. She'd much rather be told she sucked outright than just 'meh'

Waterbender Yue

Non-arsehole Hahn

Using Kuruk lore from the Kyoshi books!

I like the changes to the NWT siege. Having the spirits' mortality be an occasional, temporary thing to gain an appreciation of life that occurs during a full moon when the powers of those who will protect them in that state are at their peak, makes more sense than permanent vulnerability that relies on nobody finding out. Also never made sense that a naval officer was stationed in a fucking desert & was able to just take time off to go through a spirit library, so having Zhao find his info from the Fire Sages works better IMO. I do hope we'll still get the spirit library though

Ozai's lil eyetwitch when Azula backtalked him like if you agree

Haven't mentioned yet but I love the costumes in this

Also never mentioned Momo, the Real Hero of ATLA

Sokka continues to be awesome

Lowlights:

June calling Iroh cute & fawning over him. Normally I'd think it's unfair for the live action version of a character to be held accountable for what the animated version did, but this leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like og!Iroh's groping of June being treated like a joke has been called out many times so they fucking had to know what they were doing

Why isn't Azula's fire blue? We got like 1 second of it & that's it. Maybe consistent blue flames are a power up she'll obtain later idk

[bittersweetbonbon]

Coming out

Okay, I never thought I'd have to make this post, or that I would have to admit this to a thousand strangers, but here goes. Content warnings for grooming, e-rape, false accusations of being a groomer, and suicide ideation. I'll try to keep this brief.

TL;DR: I'm not a groomer. I myself was groomed ten years ago, and I was about to tell the people in the Lore Server this when they kicked me out and are distorting the truth to make me be perceived as a groomer when I never had sexual intentions towards anyone. They are deliberately obscuring and manipulating the truth to damage my reputation for reasons I cannot fathom, and I am now actively suicidal.

If you or someone you love needs help, please, contact https://findahelpline.com/ or a trusted friend or neighbor. You're not alone, there are people out there that care about you, and nobody wants you to die.

At least ten years ago, maybe more, I joined the Fandomstuck fandom under the muse of Hipster Fandom. I don't know if I stated my age, but my behavior probably made it clear that I was a minor. During that time, somebody playing either a Naruto or Inuyasha fandom muse got close to me, gained my trust, and then coerced me into rping sex between our characters. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but my brain blocked out the memory, and I became hypersexual as a result of the event. For years, I constantly sought out, read, and wrote strange porn almost every day. I thought it was just a result of being a teenager, since the memory of being coerced into roleplaying sex had been buried for my own protection. Once I turned eighteen, however, this slowed down, and I, again, believed it was because I was aging out of being a teenager.

In 2020, I made friends with Peachymunmagenta (then peachymun-from-georgia), cryptologicalMystic, and horatioo, among others. We became fast friends in the Lore Server, and we really clicked with each other. For the first time in my life, I had real, genuine friends, people I could trust implicitly without fear. We came up with dozens of awesome AUs, characters, and stories together, stories I wanted to keep forever, and even tell to my children and grandchildren. I also regularly stopped and asked if any of them were uncomfortable if I got a weird response to a message I sent, because I didn't want them to be uncomfortable or weirded out by something I said. In October of 2023, I then joined the Toontown Ask Blog Cinematic Universe server, and though I wasn't exactly adored, people seemed to, at least, tolerate my presence.

On February 20th, 2024, however, my brain had finally determined I was safe, and uncovered the memory of me being groomed. I took some time to process this, as well as to play Side Order, but, on the 26th, when I was going to come forwards to the Lore Server about being groomed, I discovered I had been kicked out of both servers, and that I was being slandered as a groomer. Understandably, I am now actively suicidal, and I genuinely fear for my life. I am not a groomer. I never had sexual intentions towards anyone in the server, especially not Peachymun, who is a minor. I have been proudly against the sexualization of children long before I started my Tumblr blog, and long before I had been groomed. Did I say the wrong things sometimes? Yes. Did I apologize and try to do better whenever it was communicated to me I was making others uncomfortable? Yes. Should I have done things differently? Yes. I'll freely admit that there were times I shouldn't have been stubborn, or shouldn't have said the things I did, but I never wanted to hurt anyone, and I never wanted to make anyone uncomfortable, and I certainly never wanted to make Peachymun think I wanted sexual things from them. Just that fact alone would have made me psychologically ill, so add that to the fact they kicked me out over it, and are trying to claim I'm some sick groomer freak? Of course I'm suicidal. There's no other logical or rational response to that, especially when one had just found out they had been groomed themselves. All I ever wanted was to be friends with them. That's it. There were no ulterior motives whatsoever.

F.A.Q.

What about the pelvic exam thing?

I said two lines about having a pelvic exam. They were "I just had a pelvic exam and it fucking sucked. They couldn't even do it because the tool was too big". The actual point of the vent was that I was in pain, my mother proceeded to infantilize me after an adults-only medical procedure, I smoked some weed with her in the vain hopes of that somehow making her see me as an adult, and I wanted comfort from my only friends because I was in pain and humiliated and intoxicated. I wasn't saying "oooh my pussy so tight aaa uwu", or at least, I don't remember saying anything like that. If I did, I'm sorry. I wasn't graphic or sexual, and besides that, I thought that "pelvic exams suck but they're fine and normal" from someone they trusted would be better for Peachymun to hear instead of "they're gonna shove a r-slur stick in your r-slur hole, now stop crying, r-slur" from their literal abuser. If I could go back, I wouldn't mention any of it whatsoever. I would simply try to deal with the pain and humiliation on my own, and not burden my friends with my problems.

What about the breeding thing?

Okay, that one requires some context to get the full picture. So. That was an AU based off of SCP-3999, and also Wobbledogs. We had an AU called 3999-malevencte, and in it, several characters were put through various torments themed around different things. This particular loop was themed around Wobbledogs, a game where the titular Wobbledogs "breed" by touching noses, and then an egg comes from the room's doorway. I was genuinely unaware that one of the proposed characters was a minor, and when this was brought to my attention, I backed off and scrapped the idea.

What about the roleplay?

In the roleplay, Peachymun wanted several characters to go to the beach together. I, not wanting to step on anyone's toes, tried to abstain from it by having two of my characters, a young child and an omnipresent narrator, have a cute, wholesome time together. Initially, when Peachymun was upset by this, I tried to push through with my plan anyway, but when I realized they were genuinely in distress, I relented, despite my own lack of desire to participate in the beach adventure, or maybe I simply dipped out of the RP during the time of the event. I can't remember.

Why put what happened into the story of your Toontown blogs?

Well, there's several reasons. One, it's a very traumatic event in my life, and the only way I know how to cope with things is through fiction. That's why so many of my stories involved dehumanization and infantilization. If it had been anything else that happened and was traumatic- the death of a pet, the loss of a limb, etc- it would have been added in so that I could cope with it through the medium of fiction. Two, simply retconning the blog would feel disingenuous to me. It would feel like I was saying "Peachymun, all your ideas never mattered and I never liked you to begin with, so I'm taking out everything you contributed, directly or indirectly, because you mean so little to me I can just replace you without a second thought.". Three, 90% of the contents of the blog were related to either Peachymun, the Lore Server, or the TTABCU server. If I got rid of all of those elements, I may as well have just made a new character outright. And four, as callous or distasteful as someone may find it, not bringing it up or retconning it would feel twice as cruel and ill-mannered, to me. It would be like saying none of the stuff that came before and none of the things that happened actually mattered, that I could replace them and not care a lick about their thoughts or feelings. That's far worse, in my opinion, than giving an in-universe explanation and spinning up a new plot about abandonment and loneliness.

What about the messages that got you muted in Toontown?

The first one, I regret immensely. It was supposed to be more lighthearted than it was. I wasn't serious. As soon as I said it, I realized that I had fucked up, and I regret it. I shouldn't have said it. I shouldn't have said anything. It was a dumb argument, and I should have never sent the message to begin with. The second one was supposed to be a silly joke, and I genuinely thought no one would take offense to it, but they did.

Are you really going to kill yourself?

Probably. Maybe. It's not like I have anything left to live for right now, aside from my mother and my cat.

Would you still kill yourself if your friends came back?

Maybe. I don't know. Even if, by some miracle, they did come back, and all was forgiven, I've still undergone severe psychological trauma that I fear I may never recover from. I would never wish any of this onto anyone, not even my worst enemies. This is far beyond being a nightmare scenario. This is a scenario so horrible and cruel that it never would've crossed my mind as something I could ever be put through, even if I had a million years to think of awful, horrible things I might go through.

You're acting very immaturely.

I know. Please, forgive me. This is the first time I've ever lost a friend group. I've never been through this before, even though most people have, and the previous groups I've been in, I either left of my own accord or we drifted apart naturally. Couple this with the fact that I was in a very fragile state, and they're accusing me of being the worst of the worst when I only ever thought the best of them, it's very difficult for me to even speak to other people at all, or to write this message, without simply giving up on interacting with others altogether.

As a result of all of this, I have to say, I have undergone severe psychological harm, and I fear I may never recover. How can one recover, after such a series of events? I'm going to need lots and lots of therapy, at the very least, but I genuinely doubt that I'll ever be as healthy or as stable as I was before February 2024. Despite it all, though, I can't bring myself to be mad at anyone involved. Even if I knew, with 100% certainty, that it would help me heal, and I would be better for it, I doubt I ever could. I'm too soft-hearted for that. In all honesty, the only reason I didn't kill myself on the 28th is because my mother would be devastated, and take her own life, and then the cat would wind up with my shithead brother, and die, too, because he'd try to use her as a mouser when she's an exclusively indoor cat, and as much as I'm in pain and suffering, I don't want either of them to be hurt. I never wanted anyone to be hurt at all, actually.

Anyways, yeah. Peachymun, Mystic, anyone from the Lore Server or TTABCD, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. I really am. I never meant to hurt any of you, and I never meant to make you uncomfortable, or make you think I wanted sexual content from you. That was never my intention. I'm not a groomer, I'm not a pedophile, and I'm not a manipulator. I'm just a socially unaware idiot who was never taught right from wrong when it comes to these kinds of things. I hope all the rest of your lives are filled with love, and joy, and happiness, that all your goals are accomplished, that you live long, fulfilling lives, and that you continue to create wonderful, amazing stories and characters that change people's lives for the better. I hope every day you talk to each other, and laugh, and create things together, and grow into the best versions of yourself you can be. I hope everything comes easily for you, and that you always accomplish what you want without struggle, and that you can remain friends forever and ever. You deserve it. You deserve all of it, and more, and I'm sorry I couldn't provide it for you, despite my best intentions. Most of all, I hope you can look back on the things we made together, and enjoy them, without your untrue perception of me tainting things. All I ever, genuinely wanted was your friendship and happiness, nothing more, and nothing nefarious. I promise.

-Abby.

[maxphilippa]

For the character thing:

Can you do Suitcase, please? (She’s my favorite!)

Favorite thing about her: Genuinely, she's one of the characters that I really like the most on S2, although thanks to the fandom treatment I have to watch s2 in order to remember the things I liked about her as well, but in general I just think that Suitcase is a very kind hearted character. I usually talk about how Mic has an heart of gold, but Suitcase genuinely does as well. She has done no wrong in the whole s2, except for laughing at Knife's doll, but she's also just. Very mature emotionally, which makes sense. The thing that I like about her the most is how she's still full of love but knows when to put her boundaries first after what happened too. I can relate to her- well, could, since I felt like that once.

Least favorite thing about her: The same thing I said about Nickel. It's not a bad thing since it also makes it work out on canon, but I think that one of the main factors as to why their relationship gets misinterpretated the most is because from how one-sided Nickel's and Suitcase's relationship is. But that's not quite true at all. Suitcase did care about Nickel/saw him as a friend of sorts, or mutual friend because of Baseball. She genuinely had a sort of appreciation for Nickel, but the way Nickel saw things was very different (but Suitcase is aware that Nickel "tried to" protect her, but he just kept pushing her away), and this is explicitly said by Knife.

Suitcase tends to see the good in others so of course she would hope that Nickel genuinely means it when it comes to giving Balloon a chance, and yet... I just think that I would want to. Rework the way they were written on early s2, since that has an effect as to how they ended up being. To make stuff more emotional on Suitcase's part.

Favorite line: "Baseball, you can't just... fix it. It simply just won't go away. But you're here. You're listening. You're trying. So... thanks."

BrOTP: Mic, Knife, Pickle, Cabby, mostly everyone else.

OTP: World's Worst Polycule + Trophy's Big Ass Polycule.

NOTP: Taco. I. I genuinely don't get why people ship her with Taco.

Random Headcanon: More than a headcanon it's kind of based on canon, but making art of any sorts makes her feel relaxed and process her feelings well. She likes doing paintings, yes, but she also enjoys doing crochet and making sculptures. Maybe even got into photography too, or writing. It really helps. And meanwhile I do think that Suitcase doesn't know how to cook, she can really do good stuff if she follows the recipe with time and with someone else too.

Unpopular opinion: SHE'S AWESOMELY PANSEXUAL 💥💥💥💥💥💥, I think that Suitcase suffers as well, one of the worst treatments in the fandom, and that would be her infantilization on fandom terms. I know that it is a thing on fandoms for people to pick on sweet/well intentionated characters to dumb-ify and/or infantilize, but Suitcase's is one of the worstvcases I've seen, ESPECIALLY regarding fanon Nickel. People treat her as this hopeless, naive and weak character when she's not.

She struggles with mental health a lot, sure, and she really sees the good parts of people and tends to hold onto things she thinks about eother, but she's not a "kid" just because of that, neither should be treated like one either. Suitcase is one of the most mature characters in the series (not surpassing Knife of course), and she knows a lot about those troubles on general. Nickel hurted her, yes. But she cared about Nickel enough to believe that he could still change. She hoped that he would get her input as in finally realizing what he did wrong. I genuinely just hope that once Nickel and Suitcase get reunited, people can actually realize how emotionally mature she is. Y'all treated her so poorly.

Song that I associate with her: Never Love An Anchor, Me And My Husband, Washing Machine Heart, Misery Meat, Maybe I Was Boring, Around The Pomegranate, Slow Dance With You, Tears Over Beers, and I'm Sorry, Boris.

Favorite pictures of her:

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Thank you so much @callivich for taking the time and effort for coming up with these questions, and thank you @such-a-barbarian for tagging me also!

This got long lol

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once? 

one of my favorite generas of fic is shameless Mickey worship and for that I aways come back to from head to toe and the many things Mickey Milkovich has been called, Unforgiving Touches and the Feeling of Their Bruises. 

also, in no particular order You’re Tough To Love When You Don’t Love Yourself, the broad shouldered beasts series, sincerity is scary.

for something a little smutty go back to sleep has always been a favorite of mine

and as always, my favorite fic of all time Boy In The Box

What’s a gifset you always have to reblog? 

i love that gif set of Ian sniffin’ on his husband, also I think there’s one thats a compilation of Mickey’s best smiles through the series, gorgeous.

this beautifully edited (?) gifset I stg this is better quality than the actual show idk how they did that

this gorgeous art/gifset is awesome also!

this one is very important to me but man it hurts

another heartbreaker

everyone say thank you gif makers!!!!

What’s a fanart you love looking at?

I literally just saw this one for the first time, it immediately went to the top of my list!!

Its so beautifully done and captures the tone of the original piece so well while also transforming it into a unique moment and commentary on intimacy in their own relationship, ugh, gorgeous 

What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

creative mickey! the best thing season 10 gave us was mickey and his notebook. i just know when Ian sees that thing come out post canon a part of him locks up in genuine fear

i don’t really think he gets into art persay, but just being a creative thinker, figuring out how to run their business, decorating their apartment, building ian a garden on their balcony when he gets put on the waitlist for the community garden

What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

so I had this idea very vaguely floating around in my head for a while, but it wasn’t even remotely formed, let alone developed and then suddenly last weekend the plot just came to me in that beautiful and cruel way inspiration comes and goes, but it will take forever to write because I want the pace to feel very slow and syrupy and a little dream (or nightmare) like.

i dont want to give away the plot but its very southern gothic, slight true crime elements, cults, slight age difference (younger Mickey)… anyways if anyone from the rural south wants to be on call to explain geography and culture to me, hit me up 

i also have an idea for a dirty filthy, nasty smut fic but i would have to post it anonymously i wouldnt be able to look anyone in the (virtual) eyes

What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

in all seriousness, analyzing Shameless as a show overall is so interesting, understanding each of the characters as case studies in different particular expressions of being raised in poverty, which is what makes it twice as upsetting when someone is like, ‘why would this character do this, thats so stupid’ and the answer is that statically speaking that character was actually very likely to do that because of the circumstances they were born into and the way they’ve been affected by that throughout their life, but okay. I also noticed that a lot of people on here are not from America and I always wonder what their take on the social/political reading of the show, if it feels familiar at all etc.. 

i also remember the first time someone commented under my fic to be like, ‘why are you giving Mickey a pass Ian did this’, and someone else commented underneath that ‘oh well Mickey did that so he’s a bad person etc.’ and it was just so upsetting to me, I dont see a lot of that on my dash but I just personally believe that if you are judging teenagers/young adults who are in the middle of their first major mental health crisis or who have suffered unimaginable abuse and neglect their entire life, you need to recalibrate your empathy levels 

What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

I love love early seasons (1-3) there is just something so nostalgic about it and as a show that’s when the writing was at its most creative and interestingly paced

also who doesn’t love baby gallavich?

What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship? 

Ugh Im so sorry I am going to have to add all the lyrics to In Your Love by Tyler Childers, the inspiration for my first fic title because it is the most perfect song to encapsulate the passion between them and the work and sacrifices they put up for each other

What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

where is mandy? where the fuck is my girl?

also the fact that kevin had a son with v’s mom and just, has no interest in a relationship with him? like that made the story easier for sure but it doesn’t make sense with his character

What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

guys, there is not a scene in this show that we have not done to death already (affectionate)

and you know what? we’ll do it again!

but just for the sake of it, the “would you take care of me if i was paralyzed” scene, you can see that Mickey is almost idk, hesitant? but that’s because he’s really picturing it and that his yes is genuine and thought out, and ian’s face of wonder when he realizes that he has someone who loves him unconditionally and forever? earth shattering

What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

listen, i think the laws of television writers being assholes would dictate that they would give a break up (and maybe reconciliation) arc which is my least favorite television trope

but irl? (u know what i mean) i think they do have some hard, stressful times both out of their relationships and in it and realize pretty quickly that they have to work as a team and lean on each other and it only makes them closer

i also think that they simply refuse to sleep without each other, like one night when Ian gets stuck at the gallagher house taking care of sick franny mickey will drive over and sleep in the twin bed with him or if mickey gets wasted on a night out with sandy and debbie and his battery runs out he’ll stumble his ass home instead of going with one of them when they offer even if it takes forever

and ian grows his hair and stubble out to look like it does in the most recent photos (fluffy mullet) and mickey adores it he can’t keep his hands off his husbands head it’s a sensory dream

Thanks again for tagging me!

i’ll tag @stocious @mybrainismelted @sirrudo @solitarycreaturesthey @juliakayyy @jrooc @jezzibelle89 @i-think-you-mean-reduction @iansw0rld

[ladyvaderpixetc]

your top 15 favourite tv shows can say a lot about your personality

Tagged by the epically fab @lolahardy

this genuinely kept me awake a bit last night until I realised what was happening and stopped trying to recall every show that ever struck me right in the feels or shaped me lol and yes, I know no one asked for any reasoning behind it but when you've mulled it over all bloody day long, you feel like sharing :P

M*A*S*H - used to be on everyday at 7 and my mum had adored it when she was younger so brought me and my sister up on it, still makes me laugh and cry to this day.

Star Trek TNG (& Picard which might be cheating but really is just an extension all told) - loved all the Trek's, Honourable Mention goes to ToS because kid!me loved it so much, only to have TNG blow the roof off my head. Lt Cmdr Data was my first love and I am unashamed ;)

Red Dwarf - for many reasons but mainly Arnold Rimmer (more reliable than a garden Strimmer, he's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner - he's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer...) who my teenage self was certain could be redeemed with the power of love, or a very determined snogging if nowt else.

The Good Place - because I (and many of us) needed it as a concept, whether for personal growth, coping with grief or just cos 'forking shirtballs' never gets any less funnier for me.

Firefly - the best show to ever be cancelled before it's writer could ruin it. I adored the show and the ensuing film, mourned its early cancellation for YEARS until I heard about Whedon's general twattishness and what had been his intentions for the series and characters, now am happy it exists as it is, still problematic but so worthy in so many ways, and on that awkward note...

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - problematic on 800 gazillion levels in this day and age but still a forerunner of many awesome things to follow and I'd be lying if I said I hadnt been glued to it, obsessed with it, shipping folks, dling the soundtrack, buying the jewelry etc and even now if I see a reaction vid on YT for S5 I can't help myself but watch and weep along with them.

Merlin (BBC) - Umm'd and Ahh'd over this for bloody ages lol but it was my happy place (literally, had a run of bad years as have we all, so I'd watch an ep before bed every night to make me smile) and it got me through the difficulties I had right up to the finale where they took me and my happy place out back and shot it in the face in front of me lol. Despite my escapism route being put down in those heinous raw weeks immediately following a parents funeral, I'm still listing it here for being wonderful, silly, heartening and heartbreaking, whilst giving every last Fuck You to the writers for their surprise, abruptly canon-compliant ending.

Stargate SG1 - daft sci fi with it's heart trying hard to be in the right place plus eminently shippable characters in almost every combo going? Yes, please.

Heroes - because I was OBSESSED. It picked me up out of my OTP in a diff fandom (sorry drarry, I still love you honest) drained me of any and all urge to write for anything but them ever again until it got shat on by its own writers, breaking the spell.

Brooklyn 99 - NINE-NINE. *sadly doffs cap to Captain Holt*

King of the Hill - from a show I used to avoid when I was younger to one I ration myself viewswise so it won't lose it's impact. Superb.

Schitts Creek - only watched due to encountering a clip on tumblr of Moira's stonefaced manaical laughter and ended up crying with happiness over the finale, am an easy crier sure, but not normally because something is just so lovely.

Cheers - was only a kid when it finished but I bawled my face off when Sam said 'sorry, we're closed' (was too young to know it'd be repeated ad infinitum lol) and the opening theme still feels like coming home.

Golden Girls - sole reason D+ gets any money from me, the bastards, it was my only access for a bit there but it was worth it, lightyears ahead of it's time and just wonderful to boot.

Parks & Rec - somewhere my sister is elated with no clue why. Took her years to talk me into it, but having watched it on repeat a few times, I now can't live without Leslie, Ben & Ron.

Other honourable mentions (sorry I know, longpost, my bad) go to Quantum Leap for being a daily delight growing up, What We Do in the Shadows which would have made the list but I've only just got around to watching it and am only on S3 so have yet to find out if it's going to rip my heart out, Eerie Indiana for getting me started hyperfixationwise, Caroline in the City (S1-S3... S4? I don't know her - no seriously, I didnt realise for YEARS it didnt end at S3 and as this purported S4 fucked that up [supposedly] yeah I don't know her), The XFiles for my first actual foray into fandom & fanfic, and I know am missing another gazillion shows I'll remember later that seem much more worldshaping than these and I'll gnash my teeth lol so yeah *waves hand vaguely towards future me's frustrated rememberings* them too ;)

Tagging a) anyone who fancies a go should they feel like it, and b) [no pressure natch] @theangrykimchi @amazinmango @thesaltofcarthage @buckydunpun @kalika999 @gracerene @helaheim @dls-ao3 @emorgan5061 @bananaempanada

[weaselbeaselpants]

Lily, I did/do agree with you on some fandom takes, especially back during the DownWithMolestia days. Heck I agree with a lot of your takes in current year. Even if I agreed with you on everything you say I'd still fucking drop you and hope every single one of your fans wakes up and does so to for the right reasons --that you're a predator/lying abuser, not that you hate Gay Rocks in Space-- too.

Like, you wanna hear proof some folks' who I not only liked but REALLY like their videos and still absolutely think are in the wrong?

JonTron and Brad Jones.

I still find myself quoting their damn videos every now and again because god damnit that shit is/was funny, sue me. I loved CinemaSnob especially and god JonTron's videos were so much fun.

Too bad JonTron said some of the worst, most horrendously antiblack shit I've ever heard and has never fucking apologized for it or even BEGUN to have an iDubbz moment. I believe Pewdiepie feels+understands what he did was wrong more than JonTron and that's a bad sign. Jon was funny, a white person. Don't care. I'm never going to follow anything he makes again because the stuff he had to say was heinous and no it doesn't just "go away" because another white yter is in trouble for this kind of thing or it's been so many years since his 'canceling' and 'doesn't matter'. Really?

CinemaSnob is less racist (publicly) but he showed his true colors by publicly choosing to stay with his toxic friends and showing he was a two-sided jerk, and then made up lies about doxxing and harassment just to sweeten the deal. What he did (while roping Double Toasted in no less) was straight up admit that he doesn't care about any of the shit leveled at Channel Awesome, even after CA themselves admitted to hiding a sexual predator, because "he'd still have a career" even after he hurt anybody. Say all you want about any yter, breadtube or whatever, being callous and 'uncaring' or blocking ppl that just disagree w them- "apologize even if you don't mean it = dumb", "Logan Paul filmed a dead body and he still has a career", it's that side you showed of yourself, Brad, that is always going to make me actually genuinely hate myself for quoting your old videos or seeing you show up in an old Phelan or Allison vid.

Whether it be personally or politically, you can look like an ass and even the biggest fans of your work are gonna be shaken up and drop you for it-- to which you'll probably say they were never really "your REAL fans" for being "sensitive" w really it's just people having independence and critical thinking.

I would not be the person I am now if I didn't disagree/look into the drama buzzing around my personal fav yters like Lindsay Ellis and Jenny Nicholson with an open mind. I know (of, not rlly know) these women and their careers and the points where they were definitely getting harassment and if there's any credible basis for shitty behavior they've done - no matter how I feel about their work, I DON'T want to defend it just because I have this parasocial comfortzone in their essays. I don't want to entertain hate campaigns and lolcow farmers, I want to always do my due diligence and genuinely know "wait wtf did 'x' say about 'x'." In the case of folks like Ellis or PanPizza or Quinton Reviews here's usually always some degree of nuance or-"yes soandso isn't a [thing I thought they were cuz of drama I saw], but I'm personally allowed to not like them bcuz of how they handled these accusations"-vibes. Valid asf. That's me with some of the people I watch, like Wendigoon. It's fine.

In the cases of JonTron, Brad Jones, Emily Youcis and now Lily Orchard....no. Fuck this. I'm an adult and it's not the quality of your work you make whatsoever, it's all about your personality. If you are shitty and vile, possibly even criminal (hate speech should count as criminal, Youcis) and you don't even begin to care that you are any of those things...yeah why should I give you the time of day or treat your work like it's different from you as a person?

[squish36-writes-and-draws]

11 November: Unraveling

Quick little update: I have burned through my stash of prewritten pages, and now, when I need to write more, I have a cold and a shit ton of school things I should be doing. We're going to be on shaky ground until probably Saturday.

Word Count: 510

TW: Keefe is swearing a lot. Also, general Keefe angst. Self-esteem is in the single digits.

General Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0nly @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously

@poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @corruption-exe @rusted-phone-calls

@when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes

@callum-hunt-is-bisexual @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @sillyguy-supreme

@void-kill @thefoxysnake

Unraveling Project Specific Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed/upgraded): @cutebisexualmess @crippling-pages @daizythegreat @sophiefostersno1stan @iggydancebreak

@theleopardstalker @you-will-meet-your-downfall @multi-fandom-lunatic

On Ao3 or below the cut!

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I once loved a gardener with his dirt-smudged face and hands Trimmed my weeds and gave me room to grow my flowers again But now my love is gone And I am left here withering Withering

Keefe Sencen's Journal

  I hope you’re happy now, mother dearest. 

    I hope you know how much you’ve fucked me over. 

    I should have never even attempted to draw Taylor into this mess. I just—wanted to think that I’d be safe for once in my starsexile life, but that’s too much to ask. 

    Over the last couple of hours, I’ve bounced around the globe looking for a nice place to go and also trying to figure out how the pathfinder determines coordinates. I’ll probably be working on that instead of actually reflecting on my life tonight because exile I don’t want to think about my life anymore. Absolute dumpster fire of a life right there. 

    I think I’m in Paris? I can see that famous tower thing but let’s be real when we say that I’ve got no fucking clue where I am or how human society works. It could be some other ostentatious tower just to fuck with me in particular. 

    Anyway the time zones are really different between Sydney and wherever I am because I left right around dawn, and now it’s sundown. If I thought my sleep schedule was bad enough as it is, it’s about to get so much worse and I’m here for it. 

    I haven’t had any interactions with humans around here, and if I could, I would definitely try to avoid speaking to anyone about anything ever because we saw how well that went last time. Alas, I don’t trust myself enough for that to not be a possibility. 

    I’ll probably be bouncing to the next city in a couple of days. Maybe if I pick a new place often enough, no one will be able to find me. Maybe then I can stop hurting everyone around me. It won’t work, but it’s a nice possibility to think about. 

    I found a nice garden to loiter in for the next couple of days, and in the case that I get bothered by the legal authorities, I can just simply…leave. I could cause so many crimes on purpose. That bank heist plan doesn’t actually sound that unrealistic now that I’m genuinely considering it. I won’t, but it would be funny, and that’s the real measure of success. 

    You know what else is funny? I don’t, but someone across the street does. It’s much less overwhelming than it used to be and on the one hand, that’s a good thing because I don’t have a constant migraine, but it also means that I’m going to be fucked to exile in another couple of weeks, let alone centuries of this. Who am I kidding? There’s no way I’m making it centuries without Gisela finding me. I just need to hold out long enough that I’m not useful to her little schemes and machinations by the time she comes to collect her little unethical science experiment. 

    If I can’t solve the problem in its entirety, I’ll settle for being annoying. It’s gotten me this far which isn’t exactly a glowing endorsement, but it’s better than nothing, and that’s all I have.