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imaginemyreality03 · 8 months ago

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🌿🔨It’s never too late in life to discover who you are🔨🌿

🛑 SPOILERS AHEAD 🛑

Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail- Ashley Herring Blake

Read: March 26 -> April 3, 2024

BRA Score: 73/100

Favorite Quote: “When you’re ready to talk, I’d like to listen.” -Isabel Parker-Green, Pg 356

Abbreviations: AHB- Ashley Herring Blake, DGDC: Delilah Green Doesn’t Care (the first book in this universe), APDF: Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail.

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Book Gist: Astrid Parker is trying to hold on to the one part of her life that hasn’t fallen apart in the last year: her interior design business. She gets hired to design the semi-famous Everwood Inn for their feature episode of Innside America, it’s a chance she can’t pass up. But of course, the whole thing has to go awry from the start, when she screams at a woman for spilling coffee on her ivory dress her first morning on the job… and that woman turns out to not only be her lead carpenter (and number one collaborator) but also an Everwood herself. Talk about starting off on the wrong foot. Now this project is a task of survival: get back in the good grace of Jordan Everwood, succeed at this redesign to keep her business afloat, and try not to have any sexuality crises along the way. She is only partially successful here.

Tags: Enemies/Rivals to Lovers, Sapphic, Adult Romance, Smut, Coming Out in Adulthood, Third Act Breakup, Messy Exes, internalized homophobia (ish).

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Overall Review:

Pre-Read:

I tried to read this when it came out, and I made it like half way through before I put it down and just, forgot to pick it up again. I didn’t mean to DNF but it was not very encouraging to continue. It felt slow, I couldn’t feel the chemistry between Astrid and Jordan, and I still really didn’t like Astrid because of her in DGDC. This time around, I discovered that if I had continued reading literally 4 more pages, I would have finished the book that first time around, because it finally sold Jordan and Astrid to me at that point.

Astrid:

First impressions aside, I don’t think I was ever gonna LOVE this book, because I do have a general dislike for Astrid, both for who she is and how she was around Delilah (they are both at fault for their relationship, but I read a book in Delilah’s POV first, and Astrid was an ass for no reason so many times). That being said, while I would not be friends with her IRL, from a reader/writer perspective, she is a fantastic character. She is deeply flawed and actively acknowledges many of those flaws. She works to do better and her growth through this book is truly admirable. Watching her journey in trying to come out and to unlearn the habits she didn’t even know she had due to her upbringing, and all of her own thoughts she had to challenge in order to find her happiness… I am incredibly proud of her, she is a great main character. Still not gonna choose to spend any free time with her, but she served her purpose well in this book.

Jordan:

Jordan, I am obsessed with. I think the tarot thing wasn’t really made to fit. I think AHB was just really determined to include it, but don’t give Jordan enough connection in her backstory or personality to defend how invested she is in this tarot deck. We just know she bought it after Meredith left her, but we don’t know if Jordan had any prior interest in Tarot or anything similar, like astrology. It felt a bit forced, but other than that, I really did enjoy her. She’s brash and excitable and sarcastic and she’s on this journey of rediscovery too that is really fun to watch.

Meredith should just… move to somewhere international so they never have to see each other again, because while she’s valid to want a change in her life, she completely disregarded everything her wife did for her and everything that she felt for the sake of her “personal reawakening and need to find her destiny”. It was disrespectful of her relationship and of Jordan as a person. So, she can leave. You don’t get an I-had-cancer get-out-of-jail free card for being that much of an asshole.

Cast:

I wanted more of the Bright Falls cast tbh. Especially really defining the way the group works with Delilah in the mix, and Josh back for good. I wanted more Josh being subtly bullied and tested for his promise to stay and be around. I felt like it was way too quiet, when all Astrid had outside of work was her friends, but there was no routinely seeing each other, or weekly get together. There were a handful of group outings and one event. I needed a bigger fix than that. But seeing how Delilah filled in a space they were missing was so beautiful. Claire kinda lost all her personality, but she also had like 6 minutes of screen time in bookish terms, so I’m not necessarily surprised that’s what happened.

Plot:

The plot overall and the main conflict wasn’t super convincing for me. I feel like there wasn’t that much buildup of the risks involved for Astrid and Jordan if this doesn’t go well. But also, I feel like there hasn’t ever really been a risk of this not working out. There weren’t any actual opportunities or reasons to watch for presented to the readers about what could happen that would lead to the Reno failing, or the episode not airing. I knew they were worried, but i was never really worried for them. It just didn’t have the weight it needed to in my opinion. And it was so drawn out, but not in a slow burn kind of way, in a “I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel about this lady, and I’m so involved in my own issues I’m just gonna ignore this weird feeling and move on” kind of way. There wasn’t obvious chemistry to start, just conflict.

Other Comments:

What also probably didn’t help my perception of this book was some of the reviews I read on here before I started it (and I want to be explicitly clear that this is in no way the fault of any other poster or creator and I am in no way criticizing their opinions. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and is allowed to put that on the internet. If I didn’t want to hear it, I wouldn’t read it. This is entirely on me).

A few people posted reviews about why they didn’t like AHB’s writing, and pointed out parts of her writing style and how she develops and includes her queer characters, and especially how she leans into stereotypes and performative allyship.

That’s a rough summary, I can’t remember exactly what was said. But those were the thoughts I had in my head while I was reading, and it did make me very sad, because there was a lot of Delilah and Claire from DGDC that I really related with and I felt very connected to the way that these characters were presented in that story. Reading APDF, I could identify a few points that could be interpreted as this kind of thing, but I didn’t feel that they were as a big a deal, I guess. So that also turned me off from the book at the start, so maybe (ironically) this book was doomed to be a disappointment for me.

All in all, it was a good book. Maybe not worth a reread, but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy some of it. 😐

#book review #book rating #booklr #sapphic #ashley herring blake #astrid parker doesn't fail #enemies to rivals to lovers

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shinxeysartgallery · 1 year ago

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So what even inspired you to make each of the dinos what they are?

Honestly most of it was just me picking and choosing favorites. LOL

Scar was the first one I made (and originally going to be the ONLY one) and he's a utahraptor because that's my favorite dinosaur. :) That whole concept basically came from the idea of thinking it would be interesting to write about the main cast finding a dinosaur in the arctic and reviving them into the modern era. And I do enjoy writing it. lol Archie's concept came from me trying to pick a name for Scar. Archie was one of the names that was suggested for him, but I didn't feel like it fit him at all. But then I was like "that would be a cute name for an archaeopteryx though", and that's where Archie came from. Tina, Peter, and Rémy I did kinda all together after a friend gave me the idea of writing about how Scar got his scar (*Dramatically looks directly at Tina*). Tina I already knew had a spoiled brat sort of a personality and I thought what better choice of species than what was considered the prehistoric king of the jungle (aka, T-Rex)? Gave an extra layer to her self-entitlement. lmao Peter and Rémy are pterosaurs because I decided I wanted them to be flying dinos (Archie's a bird, but archaeopteryx were flightless birds!). Pterodactyls are probably the most commonly known species of them, so picked that for one, and rhamphorhynchus is my favorite pterosaur, so picked that for the other. :) The Pangean Oceans Guard trio was based off the concept of wanting water-based dinos. Irwin is a prehistoric fish, Kaitlynn is a prehistoric crocodile-like animal, and Yuki is a lesser-known species of plesiosaur because I felt that was more interesting. Andrewsarchus is my favorite prehistoric mammal, so that's why Andrew got what he did. Also half being lazy and half trying to be funny, I literally just split his species name in half to get his name. lol Went with an elasmotherium for Elliot because they're pretty cool animals and the history of people mistaking them for unicorns is pretty funny. They're more closely related to rhinos though. :) Delilah is a deltadromeus literally just because I think it's a cool dinosaur. Dilophosaurus is also one of my top 3 favorite dinos, so that's why Judy got that as her species. Also fun fact, her acid spit ability was based off the dilophosaurus from Jurassic Park. My favorite character in the whole movie. She was so real for eating that one guy. <3 I blame my one friend for the Fossil Fighters discussion giving me the idea for Shana's species. LOL Shanshanosaurus was one of my favorites to use in the game, so that's what she got (also random fun fact: I themed her palette off lemonade - yellow being normal lemonade, pink for pink lemonade, and green for limeade). Scientists have recently discovered that the Tarbosaurus is likely the same exact dinosaur, so I could've used that for a species name, but "Shana the Tarbosaurus" doesn't really roll off the tongue as well imo. Ouranosaurus is a pretty cool dinosaur, too, and I felt like the perfect species for a martial artist, so that's what Olly got. Similar reasoning for Iggy being an Iguanodon. I struggled a bit with doing her mouth area when designing her though, because Iguanodons have a weird beak-like thing and I wasn't exactly sure how to translate that into a Mobian design. So I eventually just decided to style it similarly to a bird beak, but with a flat front. And Dirk's the newest, literally just from the idea of "lol what if I made a sabertooth assassin". He's only been around for like a month or two though, so haven't developed him very much yet, but he's cool. :)

#anon ask #shinxey's asks #shinxey's ocs

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insomniac-dot-ink · 2 years ago

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Mid-Year Reading Freak-out Tag

I saw some book blogs doing this and thought I’d do my own!

Amount of books you’ve read so far: 18, which I think is better than most of my years so far at the half-way mark 🤗

Best book you’ve read so far in 2022: I’ve read some really great books this year, but I’m obsessed with House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland. It was like eating a good meal, a book written for me specifically, and just really fun to get lost in a story again.

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2022: hmm, I’ve only read one sequel this year since I’m rarely that big on series in general. I finished Jade Legacy which is the last book in the Green Bones Saga by Fonda Lee. I still adore the series overall, but I was a bit disappointed by the pacing and focus of the last book.

Still excellent though!

New release you haven’t read yet but want to: I just bought Nettle and Bone by T. Kingfisher which released a month or so ago and I’ve heard really great things about. I love a good dark fairy tale, definitely my jam.

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year: I am vibrating with excitement for the release of Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir later this year *grabby hands*.

Biggest surprise favourite new author (debut or new to you): I’ve been meaning to read Ashley Herring Blake for forever now since I’ve heard good things and Delilah Green Doesn't Care fully lived up to my expectations. Really emotionally intelligent and fun Sapphic romance!!

Also, super hyped for the next one Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail.

Newest fictional crush: I didn’t enjoy the writing of this book, but I did thoroughly enjoy Talia from Payback’s a Witch by Lana Harper. I love a spooky hot witch lady.

Book that made you cry: I listened to the audiobook of Born a Crime by Trevor Noah and the part where **SPOILERS** his mother got shot by the ex-husband had me crying, Trevor just loves his mom so much and the situation was so frustrating and heartbreaking and he’s a really good story teller.

I cried even more when she was okay, thoroughly moving book overall. I also cried while reading the next book below, Why Fish Don’t Exist.

Book that made you happy: Not a happy book per say, but I found the book Why Fish Don’t Exist by Lulu Miller to be deeply soothing and philosophically comforting. I’ve always been the type of person filled with doubt and Chaos if you will, and the conclusions of the book gave me a sense that doubt is good. There is a holiness to doubt, fish don’t exist, we make up categories, and the important part is not to divide ourselves, but care for each other.

Most beautiful book you’ve bought so far this year (or received): I’ve got to go back to House of Hollow for this one, absolutely stunning cover.

What books do you need to read by the end of the year? I’ve reread the first chapter to Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail by Ashley Herring Blake several times now so I am absolutely hyped to read that later this year along with Nona the Ninth.

I’ve also been meaning to read The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri which looks very cool, though I’ve found myself less drawn to stories with royalty of late. I dunno, I’ve gotten kinda sick of the monarchy in fiction, can’t characters be blacksmiths or merchants at this point? lol

Feel free to friend me on Goodreads too! You can see my book reviews there and I’d love to see what other people are reading as well. What’s been YOUR favorite book so far this year?

I saw someone else doing this, so feel free to take it as an invitation! :)

#booklr #midyear book update #IA reads #am reading #mid-year book freak out #bookblr

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unmotivatedwrit3r · 4 years ago

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Damian Wayne x reader where he and the reader are married and have 2 kids, their son Nathan was almost killed while he was robin and Damian who is batman, is angry with himself and is overworking himself because he feels so bad. One night Damian is in the bat cave and their daughter who is 4 Delilah wonders off to say goodnight to her dad and the reader finds her crying because she hasn't seen Dami in almost a week and thinks he doesn't love her anymore so the reader goes down to the batcave after putting the kids to bed and sits on damians lap and says " I love you, but you need to love me and your kids right now instead of shutting us out" sorry if it's so long I just can;t get this image of damian feeling so guilty out of my head

It’s the Family Business

Damian Wayne x reader

A/N: So I did write this as a fic, but for future reference, I am really only accepting headcanon requests at the moment. Originally I was going to write this as a headcanon, but it came out as a fic instead. Also, I did change the names to general y/s/n for the son and y/d/n for the daughter to make it more general for everyone to read. I’m not sure how well I did writing this, as it is very far out of my comfort zone (I usually stick to dating batboys x reader) but I hope you enjoy this nonetheless, and thank you for requesting!

word count: ~1200

It’s been nine months since y/s/n took the mantle as Robin, but it now seemed almost too soon for him to take it at all. He’s 13, older than any of his uncles were when they first took on the mantle, and has been trained by every member of the batfamily in some way since he started formal training at 9, and it still wasn’t enough. Gotham’s newest rogue caught Batman and Robin by surprise, and Robin almost died for it. It's different, you realize, when it’s your son fighting for his life, and as much as you love your husband, your son’s injuries seem to cut you deeper. But so far, it’s also driven your husband away. You see it now, so many of the things that make Damian like his father. You see Damian’s anger at himself, the unwillingness to let anyone else out with him again, the same way his father drove Dick away at first, a relationship that took years to repair, and you see the guilt in Damian, building up as he winds tighter and tighter, so tight that you’re afraid he’s going to reach his breaking point before you get through to him. Because you haven’t, yet. You’ve approached him countless times since it became evident that your son would be fine, and he’s too caught up in stopping the rogue to do more than kiss y/s/n’s forehead before he goes back to work.

You look up at the clock and sigh, putting down the paperwork you’ve been attempting to file for the past three hours in an effort to make things easier on Damian. It’s 7pm, which means you have to find y/d/n and put her to bed. Speaking of, you haven’t seen her in a little while, since she said she wanted to sit with her brother and watch cartoons with him, even though he was sleeping. It warms your heart to know that though she’s too young to understand exactly what happened to him, and is as of yet unaware of the work her Dad and brother do in Gotham, she understands that he’s not okay, and wants to comfort him.

Upon entering your son’s room, you see the chair you left your daughter in empty, and panic spreads through your chest. You quickly run a mental checklist through your head, taking solace in the beeping of the heart monitor that is repeating the steady heartbeat of your sleeping son. You glance at the cable box, the time blinking at you in bright green letters and mentally slap your forehead. She knows what time she has to go to bed, she probably went looking for her father to say goodnight before you tuck her in. He’s usually in his study at this time, and goes down to the cave for patrol right after she goes to bed.

The door clicks quietly behind you as you exit your son’s room, and the footsteps you make walking down the halls are nearly silent after years of living with ex-assassins and super spies. A peek into the office reveals a sight that breaks your heart. Y/d/n is sitting on the floor, fat tears rolling down her cheeks, and her wonder woman nightgown bunched up in her fists.

“Shh, baby, what’s wrong?” You ask, pulling her into your arms as you rock her softly back and forth, heading out of the empty study and towards her bedroom.

“I-I can’t find Daddy!” she cries, and your heart breaks all over again. You know she’s right, too. This isn’t the first day this week that she’s been in here looking for him, and even you’ve been put off by finding the study empty when it should be just a little untidy as Damian sifts through his WE papers. But of course, you can go down to the batcave, and she can not.

Y/d/n is still sniffling when you put her down on her bed.

“Does daddy not love me anymore?” You brush her hair out of her face as you shake your head.

“He does, baby, he does. Daddy's just worried about y/b/n and is trying to find the bad man who did this to him. Of course he loves you, just as much as I love you. And how much do we love you?” Y/d/n smiles, her eyes still red, and extends her arms as far as they can go.

“This much.” You smile and copy her actions.

“That’s right. This much.”

Reassured, she lets you tuck her into bed, and after a story, and then an extra one, she’s asleep, and you go on the hunt for your husband. With the study empty and the clock reading before 8 pm, there’s only one place he could be.

The door to the batcave closes soundlessly behind you, and your steps are quiet as you approach where Damian is sitting in the chair in front of the batcomputer, dressed in the bottom half of his batsuit and his under shirt. You turn the chair around after scanning his screen, forcing him to face you. He’s looking at personnel files from the same company he was looking at the day before, and the day before that. In response, he turns the chair back around silently and you sigh, then climb onto his lap, blocking his view of the screen.

“Y/N, move, I have to finish this.” You refuse, settling yourself more firmly, placing your hands on his cheeks so he has to look at you and not the screen.

“I love you, but you need to love me and your kids right now instead of shutting us out. You’re not getting anywhere like this and you know it. Take a step back. Take the night off, and in the morning spend some time with your wife and your daughter who has barely seen you at all in the last week. It’s okay to be upset about this; I am too. But it’s not okay to push everyone away because you think you can fix everything. You’ve told me before that you needed me. Is that still true?"

Damian’s eyes search your face, and you could see the pain and fear reflected in them. Fear of losing his child, but just then, fear of losing you, too. He nods.

“Always.”

“Then let’s be a partnership who supports each other, okay?” You say, standing up and extending your hand out to him. He takes it, and a smile pulls at the corner of your lips.

“Okay.”

#damian wayne #requested #my writing #look an actual fic #damian wayne x reader

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fanfictrashdump · 3 years ago

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Queening a Pawn, 22

If you’re new: this is my procrastination fic. It is what I drabble around with when I’m being my worst self, and ignoring all my other WIPs and responsibilities! Enjoy!

Summary: During the Time Heist, Loki stole the Tesseract and escaped. He did not expect, however, to be pulled through a Time Loop that delivered him to a Midgard more than a decade older, wiser, and bitterer. Having just lived through his unsuccessful attack in New York, Loki must learn to live in Midgard after the defeat of Thanos (post-Endgame). The question is, who is Loki without a quest for a throne or total domination?

Pairings: Loki x OC

WARNINGS: Language, fighting, swords, impending doom, nervous throwing up, and entirely fictional traditions that are just... so dumb.

It was the clinking noise of metal on metal that caught her attention first. The situation pretty much snowballed from there, but the noise was the first indication.

Delilah had been busy staring at her computer. She was finishing her fiscal year end reports, much to her utter dismay. The only glittering spot in her day had been the unusual side effect from Loki and hers exchange of jewelry. Throughout the day, Delilah would get sucked in by the pleasant buzz in the back of her skull when Loki had a particularly strong emotion. The god could make all of the excuses he wanted about how he felt nonchalant about the children, but the utter fondness that flooded her system most of her work day was the only indication that he was a big fat liar. She had been in the midst of a most pleasant flood of endorphin-filled fondness when the noise pulled her out of her head. Her name in a shout followed immediately after.

"Delilah Vázquez!"

When Delilah glanced up from the copier, she was greeted by the sight of Brunnhilde, in her full Asgardian royal armor and Uru crown. In her hand, she wielded a broadsword, though Dragonfang was sheathed on her hip. The tip of the sword swayed ominously towards her, the warrioress staring her down with intimidating focus. Delilah didn't exactly noticed when she started running, but she was damn sure she was not going to stop.

"DELILAH!"

Pumping her arms, she continued running down the corridor a good thirty paces ahead of Valkyrie. She hated admitting it, but the occasional workout Loki made her do with him was probably the only reason she wasn't a panting, sweaty mess being skewered on the end of a broadsword right now. Lilah knew that she needed to get to the common room. Sam and Bucky had returned from another mission two days ago, so they were probably taking it easy for the next few days. If she could find them–clunk clunk

The heavy footsteps were gaining on her as she skidded into the living room. Bucky jumped, startled out of his nap by the ruckus. He noted only the blurred outline of Delilah running past and ducking behind his chair, but when he finally saw Valkyrie, he took up a defensive pose.

"Out of my way Barnes!" Valkyrie grumbled through clenched teeth. "I came a long way for this, this armor is killing me. Move!"

"Are you out of your damn mind!?"

"Now, Barnes!" When he remained rooted to the spot, she half-heartedly swung the sword in his direction. He parried the blow with his modified arm, engaging her into close combat while Delilah slipped away in the background.

Her escape was not unseen, though Bucky did his best to keep the Asgardian King at bay before he was knocked through several doors with a well-placed kick of her armored boot.

Delilah backed into one of the empty storage rooms. She clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound of her labored breathing. Maybe if she was quiet enough, and kept to the walls, the Valkyrie would think she had run out the emergency staircase. Her hope was short lived, however, the door to the storage room was kicked open with a boom. Quiet as could be, Lilah lowered herself between two empty rows of metal shelves and closed her eyes tightly. And for a moment, her plan was working.

"There you are!"

Emerald eyes snapped open to see the figure of Valkyrie backlit by the harsh, white light of the storage room bulbs. Trembling, Delilah began crawling backwards, mentally calculating her probabilities of making it out before Brunnhilde caught up to her.

A clatter made her start. At her feet, Valkyries sword, Dragonfang, shook and settled while it emitted a harmonious hum. Delilah looked from the sword to the King for a mite too long, it seemed. "Pick it up! Full armor chafes!"

"I-I don't know how–"

"Pick it up and fight me! My laws demand it for satisfaction!" With tentative movements, she grasped the pommel and closed her hand around the grip. "Oh, Norns your grip is fucking awful. Who taught you to swordfight?"

"No one! I don't know how!" Delilah snapped back, lifting the point of the sword off the ground. Her free hand went up to the runic medallions resting on her collarbone. For a protective talisman, they weren't doing a hell of a lot in the way of protecting.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and raised her own weapon. "You and I will have short battle for the purpose of satisfying our ancient laws in regards to trysts with members of the Royal Family. Do you understand what is required of you? Yes? Great, let's begin."

Before Delilah could even protest that this wasn't being fair to her, Valkyrie had swept her weapon straight down, meeting Dragonfang in her grasp and making her arm shudder all the way to her marrow. With a yelp, Delilah jumped back, trying as hard as she could to avoid the Asgardian's blows. She had successfully pushed the King back and made a short run for it before Valkyrie leapt and landed just short of blocking her path.

The thought that she was going to die crossed Delilah's brain at that instant. As sudden as that realization was to hit her, so was the wispy green smoke to surround her body in a nearly solid mass. It quickly swirled around her before disappearing to a place she thought was in her chest, if the sudden pain was any indication. Valkyrie's eyes darkened, and charged for Delilah, sword raised. Delilah crossed her own weapon in front of her and her free hand braced itself for the incoming attack in front of her.

Just as the blow was to connect, the pain in Lilah's chest exploded outward through her arm. Her open palm, facing Valkyrie and waiting for impact, spewed a dense ball of that same wispy, green smoke that knocked Brunnhilde off her feet. She flew several yards back and landed with a loud thunk on the concrete floor.

"What the fuck is going on!?"

Loki's booming voice was so welcome that Delilah thought she might sob. Actually, she did, because Loki was by her side and wiping her tears away with his thumbs a moment later. He wrapped an arm around her, trying to soothe the violent trembling that was making her teeth knock together painfully. He pried her fingers off the grip of Valkyries sword and reassured her in soft murmurs that she was OK and that she was in no danger.

"I yield. Oh, Frigga in Valhalla, dearest. I yield," Valkyrie gasped, pulling herself back onto her feet.

"What the fuck is going on, Valkyrie?" He repeated, though his voice was low and sounded poisonous.

Brunnhilde pulled a face, rolling her eyes. "What do you mean, what the fuck is going on? You know our laws, Loki. She is not a member of the court and since you've endeavored to make it quite clear that you are both alive and in love with her, she needs to ascend."

Loki stared blankly at the King for a few minutes, no noise being made among the three, before he drew an extraordinarily long breath. "I know that. She does not."

"So?"

His response was perfectly enunciated, each syllable dripping vitriol unlike any Delilah had ever heard. "She thought you were attempting to kill her, you empty-headed troll." His arm gripped Lilah tightly and pressed her securely into his side. She was still trembling, though she had stopped crying. He assumed that the shock was just settling in. They needed to be careful before–

Splat.

"Oops?" Valkyrie looked contrite, especially considering that Delilah was now hunched over, emptying her stomach of any and all contents in the space that existed between the three. "You would think a civilized society would at least teach all of their members to fight properly! She was acting as if it was her first time battling with swords."

"It was… You've been living in Midgard for a long time. How did you not notice they don't swordfight anymore?" With a scoff, he handed a surly Valkyrie back her sword, which she promptly sheathed at her hip.

"Can I at least finish so I can take this ridiculous court armor off?" Loki's eyes cut across with a darkened glare. "She's already doubled over!" He nodded reluctantly and allowed Valkyrie to touch the top of Delilah's head with the flat of her blade. The Midgardian gasped and tensed again and would have continued to be sick were it not for Loki's hand smoothing down her back. "After brave battle, you have earned your place in court. Blah blah blah. I guess you can continue seeing Loki, though the Norns only know why you would choose to do so." Brunnhilde bent over and caught Delilah's eyes, dulled by fear and exhaustion. "Could you do the fist thing really quick?"

With a delirious laugh, Delilah thumped her closed fist over her heart, nearly sobbing when the Asgardian put her arm around her and helped her straighten. "Could you have not sent a message ahead or literally anything before chasing me down wiTH A DAMN SWORD, VALKYRIE!?"

Valkyrie shrugged. "I really did think you guys had better battle training than this. Sorry." The group stepped over Delilah's mess and took back to the corridors. Bucky had been patrolling like a mad man in search for Valkyrie before Loki had told him that he was on it. As they moved past him, Lilah offered him a thumb's up and a thank you. "Did you make her that seidr pendant, Snakeboy?"

Loki helped Delilah sink into one of the chairs in her living quarters, anxiously brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Yes. Did it hurt?"

"Like you wouldn't believe!"

"Good," he replied, deadpan, and Delilah could tell he really meant it. Shortly, he placed a bottle of Gatorade in front of her and kissed her crown. "Drink. You need it." His fingers loosened the chain around her neck and closed it in his fist. "I will bring this right back. Evidently, I need to add a warning for idiot Asgardians on it," he offered before blipping out of existence in her flat.

Valkyrie had pulled off all the heavy, metal armor off her body and sighed with satisfaction. "Did you really think I wanted to kill you?"

"Yes! You only yelled my name and that you demanded satisfaction. I had no clue what was going on."

"I guess not the best warning, I'll admit, but I'd never hurt you. You're the only one in this hell hole I can stand." The Valkyrie nudged Delilah in the ribs until she let out a laugh. When Loki returned, they were sitting on the couch, one arm around each other's waist, giggling. He wasted no time in reattaching the necklace with an adoring smile.

"Since when do you care about tradition and protocols?" Loki asked, offhandedly, sitting on the coffee table opposite Delilah with her free hand in his.

Brunnhilde rolled her eyes. "Since several ladies took offense that they were not informed of the fact that you were alive and demanded tradition be upheld. They're desperate to rise the ranks and go back to being courtesans."

"It's no secret I've never been the preferred prince. So, why bother?"

The warrior sighed. "Because even power and title from the dark prince is still power and title. They'll do anything to grab their share. Now, they can't."

"I'm not in line to serve, though. And it'll be a cold day in hell before I willingly go to New Asgard to live, so it's a moot point." He ran him thumb over the back of Delilah's hand. "Not to mention, I wouldn't take them. Can't exactly marry me by force."

"They'd try," Delilah and Valkyrie replied in unison.

"From what I've read, they've downgraded from a futuristic paradise to a cold strip of land by the sea. It's hard to forget thousands of years worth of privilege. Especially if you've lived the thousands of years." Delilah shrugged. "I don't blame them."

"I'm spoken for," he argued, his lips twitching just the barest bit upwards.

"Well, now you are. You're welcome, by the way," Brunnhilde grumbled, stretching out with a sigh before hopping to her feet. "I have duties to attend to, so I will see you later. My Prince. Princess."

Delilah frowned, watching Valkyrie toss her armor over her shoulder and close the door behind her with a slam. "Princess? There's a new nickname. Can't say it's my favorite."

Loki grinned widely, resting his head on his free hand, propped on his thigh. "You've got no clue what you did today, do you?"

"I don't exactly study Asgardian history in my free time, Lo." There was a long pause before she tacked on, "Why?"

"The challenge you fought was for position in the court as a member of equal measure to the Royal Family."

"I don't follow."

His eyes glittered in mirth. "I'm not surprised. It will make sense soon enough." He leaned forward and kissed her lightly. "Nonetheless, you will always be my Queen in all that matters, Princess. Though getting rid of the Valkyrie would be an easy enough task, should you desire to ascend."

With another kiss, he mentioned something about going to get her some more Gatorade. The words sunk slowly into Delilah's adrenaline-drowned brain. "Wait, are you telling me she just made me a Princess? Like an honest to god, I could have my own Disney movie, Princess? Loki?!"

#Loki #Loki MCU #Loki (Marvel)#MCU #MCU fanfiction #MCU fanfic #Loki x oc #Loki x ofc #alternate timeline #time heist #not Loki show compliant #Queening a Pawn

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likesomekindofcheese · 4 years ago

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Will You Accept This Rose? Chapter One (Queen and Beatles Crossover/Bachlorette AU!)

Word Count: 2K

A/N: Hello! She’s up! I know this idea has been done with BohRap so I thought it would be fun to try my hand! The Bachlor/ette is my ultimate guilty pleasure show!! I got a lot of inspiration from @freddiesaysalright;s Bachlorette AU and the @bohrapbachelorette blog, so check them out and their beautiful writing too! Enjoy!

Warnings: swearing and some drinking.

Heels clicking, you took a deep breath and walked downstairs. Right outside the doors, Chris Harrison stood in his tan suit with a big smile that wrinkled at the ends of his tan skin. His large eyes sparkling as he saw you in your blue evening gown that slinked to the floor.

“Well, Y/N, are you ready for tonight?” he asked, rubbing his hands.

“I…I’m so nervous!” you confessed with a laugh. “Actually…I’m shaking I’m so nervous!”

You took out your hands to show the tremor. He took them in his and he smiled.

“You have nothing to be afraid of. The guys are all wonderful. It’s a smaller group…I’m sorry. The last Bachelorette made her decision and she is now happily engaged. Thank you so much for popping in last minute…This is a lot, but it will be fun. Do you feel ready for this?”

Taking in a deep sigh, you admitted, you did not feel ready. But honestly, when would you ever be? There was a cold breeze, and you felt a shiver despite the balmy California air.

“I…I am…” you made yourself say.

“Have you ever been in love?” Chris asked, he shepered you to walk around the rose bushes to get out the nervous evergy you had left.

“I…I honestly don’t know! Maybe a couple times, but never…never passionately. Deeply.”

“Well. Y/N. I’m about to help change all of that. In fact, your husband might be here in less than an hour. Are you ready to meet him?”

“As I’ll ever be!”

----------------------------------

Meanwhile in Garden Lodge, Freddie let out a yelp as the credits rolled. Jim hurried in with his bowl of popcorn to see what the matter was.

“It’s on! Already! Oh-it…it’s time!” he muttered, gathering his things.

“Oh! Darling-look at her-she’s glowing!” he commented.

They got the blanket ready and sat on their places on the couch, well-reserved for Tuesday nights and The Bachlorette.

“I was so excited they announced her! Pass the popcorn, Fred…” Jim said. He made sure the wine bottles were pre-opened and ready to be poured at the right moment.

“She’s so beautiful I got chills seeing her walk out-here you go…” Freddie said, smiling proudly as Y/N beamed on the screen with a happy, hopeful smile.

“Thanks love” Jim stuffed kernels in his mouth as Miko hopped beside him, purring loudly.

--------------------------------

The first limo pulled out slowly. You stood still, hands propped before you. Trying to slow your breathing, you made yourself look then try to flee from nerved.

The door opened. You could feel your heart pounding a mile a minute and your breathing shallowed.

You were ready to see a man, not a little boy. But at least he was cute.

Then out stepped a little boy with auburn hair and a pale, smiling face with round cheeks. He wore a small tux and held one red rose in his hand.

Behind him walked a taller man, slender, with auburn hair, hazel eyes, and a gentle smile.

“OH, hello there?” you asked, squatting down to be at the boys height.

“Will you accept this wose?” he asked, showing you the rose in his chubby, grubby hands.

“Of course! Thank you!”

--------------------

“Awwwwwww,” Fred and Jim said in unision. Delilah meowed as if in agreement.

-------

“What do you say, Rob?”

“You’e welcome!”

“This..is this your son?”

“Yes, this is Robert Deacon!”

“Hello Robert!”

“Hello Y/N! Are you gonna marry my daddy?”

The man turned the color of the rose and pushed him to the side.

“Ah…a little esoon for that, I think…

Luahing yourself, you reached out to hug him.

“I’m Y/N”

“And I’m John Deacon. It’s lovely to meet you, Y/N.”

He gently handed him away to a young assistant from the camera who guided the little boy back to the limo to go home.

“I’ll see you soon, Rob!” the man waved. He gave him a kiss on the forehead before sending him off.

Hmm, he’s already a good father… you noted.

The next limousine pulled up and you heard the strumming of a guitar. A voice with a slight twang, but light and playful sang along to it.

“Love me tender, love me sweet

Never let me go

You have made my life complete

And I love you so”

A handsome young man with long dark hair, stark eyebrows, and high cheekbones walked out, singing along to the Elvis ballad. When he smiled, you could make out slight fangs. But nonetheless, he gave you a grin you could not resist.

Cheering, you applauded and he took a playful bow before walking up to you.

“That was wonderful!”

He placed the guitar over his head, putting it away. He pulled you in for the softest hug you had ever received so far in your life.

“Nice to meet you, I’m George, George Harrison. Like the song?” he asked, gesturing to his guitar.

“I’m Y/N and I love it! You play guitar!?”

“I have for years!”

“That’s amazing!”

“Not half as amazing as the sight in front of me” he said with a wicked grin again.

---------------------------------

“Alright, time for the wine…” Jim announced, pouring it into the glasses.

“You know what they say about a man with a big guitar, eh?” Fred laughed before his first sip. “Y/N might be a lucky woman if she takes him to the fantasy suite, darling.”

------------------------

You smiled and glanced at your folded hands, feeling yourself get hot.

“That was lovely! Please play for me some more during the party!”

“Well, if Y/N asks me, who am I to say no?” he replied with a wink. “I will If you’ll give me a snog on the cheek…”

Obliging, you pecked his soft cheek.

He then walked out, strumming a chord here or there.

The next limo that pulled up had an odd noise. You turned to the side to a camera person.

“Is…is that a bark?”

You were right. Out popped a large English Sheepdog walked over, wiggling in a happy dance as it wagged its tail in front of your gown.

“No! No Martha! Don’t get dog hair all over that gown!”

You laughed, reaching a hand down to scratch her head “She’s fine! It’s just a dress! I don’t mind a bit of hair!”

“Oh, well…that’s good.”

Looking up, you saw the prettiest pair of green eyes you had ever seen. His hair was brown and soft and his lashes were so thick, long, and dark you wondered if he used a mascara and where you could get it.

He reached down and kissed your hand gallantly, “I’m Paul, Paul McCartney. And I see you met me dog already!”

“She’s lovely!”

“She is-“

“And I’m Y/N Y//N!”

“Well, it’s pleasant to meet you. And I hope to see you in there soon…”

“Martha’s a sweetheart!”

She sat in front of you as you scratched her head.

“Martha can tell a good heart when she senses one, but I think mine has room for another lady in me life” he said with a wink.

The next man walked out. Another young man with brown hair and a square jaw and bright eyes that sparked with intelligence. His pants looked a little tight around his thighs and he smiled as soon as he saw you.

“Hello there, Y/N. I’m John, John Lennon.”

“And I’m Y/N.”

He took your hand into his and lifted it up to his lips. He then cupped yours with his other hand and kissed it so tenderly it made you melt on the inside.

“Are you enjoying your evening so far?” he asked.

“I…I am a lot more now,” you answered back.

“Well good, and Y/N….you look really beautiful tonight. Right from even when I peeked at you from inside the car, you were glowing like the sun…”

“Oh, that’s…that’s beautiful! Thank you!”

“Mind if I ‘ug you?”

“Sure?”

He wrapped his arms around you, then lifted you up and twirled you around, you burst into laughter.

He hugged you one more time and then headed over to the party.

The next limo arrived and out walked another man. He had dark hair with a slight white streak but bright blue eyes and soft, puffy lips that burst into a charming smile when he saw you.

“Hello there!”

“Hello! And you’re…”

“I’m…I’m really Richard. But you can cuse me stage name, Ringo…”

“Oh, sure! Hello Ringo-I’m Y/N”

You naturally hugged him.

“Y/N, I hope you don’t mind but…I bought you some gum. Thought you might like it after all that drinking-alright?”

He pulled out a packet of your favorite gum. You gasped as you accepted it.

“Why…yes! Yes I do!”

---------------------------

“Not exactly roses, darling”

“Well, it is a little early, Fred. And she’s the one giving roses.”

“But the song isn’t fucking ‘Chewing Gum is a Girl’s Best Friend’ for a reason!” Fred huffed, downing half of his glass.

---------------------------------------

Next appeared another car and out stepped another guitar with one of the prettiest boys you had ever seen. His blonde hair glowed like sunbeams and his eyes were the color of the summer sky. He strummed his guitar and sang in a rasp that thrilled you:

“I…just wanna testify!

Whaaaat Y/N does to meeeee!”

Changing up the rhythm enough to sing your name. He then added a bunch of “doo wops�� with an impressive falsetto “yeeeeeeah!”

“That’s amazing! You play and sing!”

--------------------------------------

Jim kept his face down in his hands for a solid minute.

“Doesn’t take much! You’ve already seen another guitarist!” he complained.

----------------------------------

“Yeah-write too. I’m Roger-Roger Taylor.”

He gave a half-lidded look that made your stomach churn.

“And I’m…I’m Y/N! I mean- you know I- I am Y/N!” you began giggling out of nervousness and hugged him.

Then in drove a car…or it sounded like one. But there was a Rocketship constructed over the car like a parade float. And the door read “YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND.”

Laughing, out stepped a space suit with a different flower: a tulip. He handed it to you and you laughed.

He removed his helmet and revealed a mane of curly, dark hair. His cheekbones were high and his eyes hazel and soft. Despite the largeness of his hair and height there was a gentle demeaner on him.

“Hello there!” you said with a laugh “are you my future husband?”

“I…I mean, I hope I might be” he said with a little blush in his cheeks. You hugged each other, he was warm and soft and smelled of fresh deodorant.

“That was amazing! Who are you?”

“I’m Brian, Brian May…”

“Wonderful, I’m Y/N…”

You walked over to the main living room of the mansion, happy and a little overwhelmed. Already they were all wonderful. Though George and Roger stared at each other with fire in their eyes at the two acoustic guitars. Roger gently put his down and shoved his hands in his pockets. George took a deep breath and held onto his carefully.

You walked in, each with your own glass of wine to begin with.

“Gentlemen, to finding love!”

“To finding love!” they raised their glasses and clinked them.

“Ey Y/N, let me steal you for a minute…” Roger offered, he slinked forward, eyes bright and confident.

“Oh, sure!”

You found out that Roger had written songs before. They were all lovely. His lyrics bright and honest. Your favorite was one about being in a small town, of laziness, frustration, and ambition and hope. It made you teary eyed.

------------------------------------------

“A guitar competition…would be interesting this season….no, Lily! That’s not cat food!” Fred said, shooing her away from the bowl.

-------------------------------------

John showed you a card his kids worked on. He was a single dad, widowed. His heart had been broken by the sad passing of his dear wife, but he was ready to move on and was sure he found new love.

George strummed you a few songs he found out were your favorite. You tapped your feet and sang along. George himself smiled.

“Thanks Y/N, it’s wonderful to play for you!”

John walked over. They both began playfully “fighting” over you. Dancing each other around, doing a couple silly “fight” moves.

“Well, y/n can decide, can’t she?” John said, turning over.

“I, uh, of course!”

John then took you away as you caught your breath.

“There boys are like me brothers! What you saw was natural, was all but…Y/N, you like to read, don’t you?”

You gave your honest answer. You both wound up chatting about books and television. He was well-read, could give opinions on plot holes and the best actors, and even told you about the poetry he wrote. You both walked back inside the mansion holding hands naturally.

Brian noticed a record player in the corner and walked to it.

“Hmph, feels a little quiet…”

He placed the needle on the record and soon some jazz was crooning around the room. In a flash, Ringo was on your side.

“C’mon Y/N, let’s dance!”

He took his hand in yours and you moved away to the music, forgetting everything. He spun you around, you shook and kicked your legs and laughed so hard. You hardly cared how silly you look.

-------------------------------------

“Look at all the other blokes, they’re ready to punch him in the gut any minute!” Jim chuckled.

Fred nodded, hypnotized. He poured another glass of wine as Delilah settled on his lap for cuddles.

--------------------------------

Brian took your hand and walked you out.

“See there, the stars are out tonight…” he said, pointing up.

“Oooo, beautiful!” you sighed. “There’s Orion!”

“Orion?”

“Yes! He’s the easiest one! I still see him!”

“Yes! Well, he’s like my old friend: always there.”

“That’s cool Brian, that you have a friend who’s always there in the stars.”

----------------------------------

“Pretentious, darling.”

------------------------------

“That way, when you look up, imagine I’m there. Even if you send me home or whatever, I’ll be there, your friend, looking after you, protecting you.”

--------------------------------

“Bloody stalker!” Jim hissed.

-------------------------------

It was indeed a beautiful night. He led you back as you sat on the couch with the other gentlemen.

“Oh, what did you do?” Lennon asked, sipping his wine carefully.

“It’s a starry night! You should see it-it’s beautiful!” you said.

Martha stood on the corner, panting happily as Deaky and Roger petted on her. Though you noticed Paul was looking at you. Your eyes went over to him and he paused, batting his eyelashes in false innocence, and tilting his head.

“Wha-what is it, Paul? You’re quiet?”

“Nothing, it’s just you’re looking beautiful tonight, that’s all. Can you blame me for wanting to have a look at you?”

Giggling more, you leaned your head down and smiled. The others stared daggers in Paul.

Chris Harrison walked in.

“Hello lady and gentlemen, enjoying your evening?”

You noticed he had a plate, and you froze.

----------------------------------------

The couple screamed at their television.

“Oh, now the shit starts!” Freddie declared with a wicked laugh.

---------------------------------------

“Yes, yes we are!” Paul said with a pleasant smile. “You know, drinks, a fine night, a dog, a pretty lady-what could be better?!”

He then saw the plate and his charming smile dropped.

“Well, it’s now the part of the evening where Y/N must make her first decision…”

He set a short, red rose on a silver plate before you. Looking around, you saw them swallow nervously or smile despite the anxiety in his eyes.

There was clever John, adorable Ringo, sweet Paul, dashing John, romantic Brian, hot Roger, or soft Deaky to consider.

But only one could get the first impression rose.

Reaching down, you placed it between your thumb and forefinger, other hand cupping the petals gracefully, and thought about your options before settling on the right one.

Who should get the first impression rose? Vote in the Google Docs Poll below!!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScQHKdQiABhf7ukQvwu6xjMsff-ggtnlNV0rr7_PKy6aSEUUQ/viewform?usp=sf_link

Taglist: @queenlover05 @youcanbemyhoneychile @seraphicmercury @ewannmcgregor @gwiilymslee @cherry--coke @queen-paladin @yourlocalmusicalprostitute @isitstraightvodka @coincidence-ithinknots-blog @rhapsodyrecs

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #360

“we are the ones that wanna play / always wanna go, but you never wanna stay”

"Crawling" or "In The End?" I want to say "Crawling," but I really can't be sure. Both are bomb. Is your window open? No. Monsters Inc. or Shrek? Shrek, my man. What did you last hear that made your jaw drop? Jason's mom died. What is the longest shower or bath you have ever taken? I remember as kids, Nicole and I would sometimes play 'til Mom made us finish because the water was cold by then. As an adult, idk about my longest shower. Do you have a preference of chocolate? Yeah, milk chocolate. Is there anyone you’d like to hug right now? Yeah. Could you ever picture someone writing a biography about you? Definitely not. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Do you shut off the computer when you’re done using it? No, I just close it. Do you usually catch a cold during the winter? No. I just about never get sick. Are you a good multi-tasker? NOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you know any deaf people? If so, is it easy or difficult to have conversations with them? No. Is there a door knocker on your front door? No. Were you ever into Pokémon? Bitch I still am. Do you drink a lot of water? Sigh, no. I'm definitely better than I used to be, though; once upon a time, I literally never drank it unless I was extremely hot and dehydrated. Nowadays, it's usually after I finish my soda for the day that I then only drink water, normally around one full tall cup of it. Do you like fireworks? They're beautiful, but I'm personally against them out of respect for veterans suffering from PTSD as well as animals, because I'm not exactly interested in traumatizing them, either. Is respect given or earned with you? It's given, the way I think it should be. Are you “in the closet” about anything? No. Are you missing any teeth? No. Do you like scrapbooking? I've never gotten into it and am not really interested in doing so. What was or will be your first tattoo? It's a semicolon butterfly on my right wrist. Sometimes I've thought about getting it covered with a cooler design but the same concept; it was literally from Google, and I'm very much not into "sharing" tattoo designs with probably thousands of other people. But, I still think it really is cute, and it's just very special to me as my first, so idk. Do you have any tattoos dedicated to someone special? I have one written in Sara's handwriting inside a heart, and my "ohana" tattoo that I am 100% getting covered was dedicated to my former best friend Colleen. I've talked before about why "ohana" has never really resonated with me, and I just don't like it anymore at all. Thank God it's small. Do you like ghost stories? Oh HELL yeah, lay 'em on me. What was your favorite movie as a kid? The Lion King. Some things never change, ha. Do you own a lot of cookbooks? Mom has looooots, but never uses any. I think her mom gave them to her, so she just keeps 'em. What’s your father’s handwriting like? It looks like every other man's handwriting I've ever seen lol. All the letters are capitalized. Did you wash your hair last time you showered? I wash my hair every time I shower. I have to with it naturally being so oily. What does your shampoo smell like? Coconut. Do you listen to Guns N' Roses? Not a lot, but yeah. They've got some bangers. I actually want "Sweet Child O' Mine" to be the father/daughter dance at my wedding. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? Yeah, at my sister's wedding. What was the last video game that you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 a long time ago. Have you ever hyperventilated? Yep. Do you talk in your sleep? I scream in my sleep. Nightmares/terrors are a blast. Whose house did you last sleep over? Sara's. Have you ever been cut by scissors? No. Do you like peaches? It's odd, I like canned sliced peaches, but the actual, full fruit, I don't. I love peach flavored juice, though. Do you enjoy being surrounded by neighbors, or would you be more comfortable someplace secluded? Take me back to the middle of nowhere, please. I'm really not digging being in an actual neighborhood. Is there any sibling rivalry between you and your siblings, if you have any? Not at all. Do you usually root for the good guys or the bad guys? Ha, the baddies... Are you allowed to have pets at your house? We're allowed to have what we currently own and then maybe one dog if Mom finally finds one. Have you ever lived in a trailer park? No. Is there anyone that you know through the internet that you would feel comfortable meeting in person? There's quite a few, actually! Have you ever had a dream involving characters from a game/movie/television show? Yeah. What’s the last thing you wrote down? My signature, I think? Do you remember any phone numbers from years ago that now belong to someone you don’t know? No. Have you ever found something strange in your mailbox? No. Who was the last relative that came to visit you? My half-sister and her husband. Does your bedding all match? Not currently. Are you more comfortable with having short hair or long hair? SHORT. Are you interested in fantasy movies/shows? That's my preference. Have you ever gone whale-watching? No, but that'd be dope. What is something that you have a large amount of? Meerkat plushies. Who is it that you’re in love with? Nobody. Have you ever gotten love and infatuation confused? No. Do you have a steady income? No. Do you take your medications in the morning or at night? Both. Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? No, I wish. :( Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? MILK. I don't eat it with water. When was the last time you ran into someone that you didn’t want to see? Idk. Have you ever tried vlogging, and if yes, did you stick with it? Noooo, I'm completely disinterested in doing that myself. If you go to church, what is your favorite thing about it? I don't go. Even as a kid when Mom made me, I hated it. ^and what is your least favorite thing about it? N/A What do you do for exercise? I don't. .-. I want a pool SO badly to swim and strengthen my legs without having to worry about sweating or collapsing, though. Mom says we don't have space, but we definitely do. Not a lot, but enough. Do you have a birthmark? If yes, what color is it? Yeah, it's just a bit darker than the rest of my skin. Do you need to lose weight? Yes. My sister, Mom, and I very recently started a Weight Watchers subscription and we're all working our asses off to stick to it. Ash has already lost like, 12 pounds (she started before Mom and me), so I'm kinda hopeful. Have you ever had a cat? Growing up, after we took in a stray female, we ended up with a fucking empire of cats, literally around three dozen, I'd say. They were all outdoors, too, and not fixed because we couldn't afford it, so tomcats would come around and, y'know, make matters worse. Eventually, animal control took them all and I was DEVASTATED, but looking back, I understand it was necessary. Anyway, I have one cat now. Indoors and fixed and the prince of my world, haha. Have you ever had a dog? We've had a few. I was born with my dad having a collie named Trigger, but I don't remember her at all; she died of old age I believe when I was very young. Then we briefly had a pup named Angel, but she died due to that disease some puppies just have. We didn't get another dog until Teddy, who was my Christmas present, and he was put to sleep only last year, rest my baby's soul. We also had Dale, Cali, Delilah, and Bentley. Have you ever any other kind of animal? A LOT. I'm probably going to forget some, but we've had hamsters, rats, snakes, fish, a turtle, two lizards, gerbils, guinea pigs... just a lot. Animals have always been very important in my life. Have you ever had a pet rock? HA, yeah. I didn't take it seriously at all, but I had one. When was the last time you painted something? Not since my Painting course in my final college attempt. Do you have any disabilities? Not in the traditional sense, no. My social anxiety though is at such a severity that it majorly infringes upon my ability to do a LOT of things, though. What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? I couldn't name five. Just Hot Topic and Spencer's, really. What season do you want to get married in? AUTUMN. The actual dream situation would be to get married in the snow in a black dress, like can you IMAGINE the pictures, but realistically, it'd be in the fall to avoid the biting cold. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yeah. Anything special planned for today? Nope. Blue or green? Blue. How much older/younger than you was the person you lost your virginity to? He's two years older than me. Do you still care for that person? Very much. Can you completely annihilate the first Mario game in less than an hour? I haven't even played the first game. I've never really been into the games to begin with. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes! I was OOOOOBSESSEEEEEED as a kid. I would usually play it after school when my mom was an assistant teacher and was finishing up her work for the day. Have you ever contemplated climbing a water tower? Uh, no. Those kind of people got some wanderlust levels that I ain't got, haha. If you have a Facebook, when was the last time you changed your profile picture? It's been a few months. Would you ever marry someone who was lower class? Um, yes? You can deny it all you want, but answering "no" is pretty much the same as saying you'd marry for money. Is there a guy you wish you hadn’t let slip away? ugh Which do you prefer: English or math? English, by light years. Who is a singer that has given you chills? David Draiman's voice in the Disturbed cover of "Sound of Silence" is fucking haunting. Greatest cover of all time. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? I did when Sharon was a judge. Do you think you could win America’s Got Talent? Hell no. What act would you perform in a talent show? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Have you ever practiced yoga? Yes. I used to be BANGIN at it. What is your favorite thing to buy at the Farmer’s Market? Fruit! Do you get carsickness? No. What color is the rim of your full-length mirror? Black. What is your state’s bird (if you live in the US)? Cardinal. Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? I'm a sucker for ballgown dresses. Do you enjoy editing videos? I used to love it, for many many years. Now, I just don't have the dedication or motivation to. Do you enjoy editing photos? Yes. If you gave birth, do you think you would want it filmed? Um, absolutely not. I would have NO desire to look back on me shrieking my lungs out and essentially dying. I handle abdominal pain very poorly, so I've got a goooood feeling that if I actually wanted to have kids, I'd be that woman screeching like a banshee.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''aerials'' by system of a down

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blacklister214 · 4 years ago

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Illusions: (Chapter 5) The Offer

L.A. 1983

Caleb stood in the stage wing, listening to the applause thundering from the ballroom. Usually this was the best part of the night for Caleb. Soaking in adulation. Being praised to the skies. At the moment though he couldn’t muster the slightest bit of enthusiasm. He knew very well the source of his ennui.

Performing in the park, even for a minute, had been a high Caleb hadn’t felt in quite some time. There were over a hundred ghosts here tonight, and yet somehow it didn’t come close to the two dozen lifers he’d mesmerized that afternoon. The energy just wasn’t the same.

Caleb marched up the stairs. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew that to keep drawing more ghosts to the hotel he needed to work the room. Convince tonight’s guests to bring friends to the next performance. That was how they’d grown their audience from five spirits to the crowd they’d pulled in this evening. Unfortunately his heart just wasn’t in it tonight. The others would have to carry on without him. Delilah would be irate, but then what else was new?

Caleb stopped in his tracks when he reached the green room. A large man with a thick black beard was sitting on the couch, flipping through what appeared to be an old magazine. Caleb was taken aback to see himself posed dramatically on the cover.

“Who are you and what are you doing back here?” Was this rather imposing individual a fan? Caleb had the vaguish sense of recognition, but he couldn’t quite place the face.

“To answer your first question: I am the man who now owns this hotel. As to your second question: I was waiting for you. I confess I presumed I would have to wait longer. You seem like a man who enjoys a good party.” Caleb felt sure he’d misheard. Probably staring into the man’s intense dark eyes had momentary confused him. Or maybe the slight Russian accent had thrown him.

“You own this hotel?” That was impossible. This man was clearly a ghost. Not only could he see Caleb, but he’d gotten to the green room without being noticed. A man this size could not have snuck past anyone.

“Yes, the legal documents are right there if you do not believe me.” Caleb grabbed the papers off the table. They certainly looked official, not that he would have known if they weren’t. In life Caleb’s lawyer had handled these sorts of things.

“Ghosts can’t own hotels.” Buying buildings took money and bank accounts, even Caleb knew that much. Both things were hard to come by without a pulse. The man, however, shrugged as if it were of little matter.

“They can if they have lifers in their employ and the savvy to make the most out of the gifts death has granted us. It is remarkable the fortune one can amass, merely by spying on certain bankers, wall street day traders, and CEOs. But I did not come here to bore you with drawn out stories of my business empire. I am here to offer you the opportunity to become part of it.”

Caleb blinked. That was a surprising offer. He wasn’t sure who this man was, but if he thought Caleb would be caught dead in a business office, he had another think coming.

“I’m afraid you’ve come to the wrong place. I couldn’t imagine a more boring fate than spying on hedge fund managers for eternity.” The man didn’t seem at all perturbed by Caleb’s denial. In fact he cracked a small smile.

“You misunderstand me. I would never dream of asking a man of your talents to waste his time skulking around boardrooms. What I had in mind was you becoming my partner in running this club.” If Caleb had had a beating heart, he was certain that offer would have made it stop.

“Club?” The giant’s smile grew another half an inch. Caleb silently cursed himself. He was being too obvious with his interest.

“Yes. The Hollywood Ghost Club. We will close this section off from the main hotel, leaving only one clandestine entrance for the VIP lifers.” Caleb’s head was spinning. It was every fantasy he’d had since returning to the land of the living. But that was impossible.

“Lifers? I thought you said it was going to be a Ghost Club.” A ghost club Caleb could understand. A more polished version of what Caleb was running now.

“Only in that it will be run and staffed by ghosts. The audience, though, will be lifers of the highest caliber who will pay handsomely for the privilege of watching you perform.” Caleb’s stomach dropped in disappointment. He should have known it was too good to be true.

“Except they won’t be able to see me or the band. You do recall the little issue of us being invisible to them?” Caleb was probably being more sarcastic than was wise, but he didn’t care. He didn’t like being teased with his dream and then having it yanked away.

“You did not seem to have any trouble being seen this afternoon.” For a long moment Caleb had no words. How did this man know about the park? Caleb hadn’t even told Delilah yet. He suddenly felt uneasy. Had this stranger been spying on him?

“That was a fluke. I don’t know how it happened.” There was no way he was mentioning Alex. He had no idea who this man was or if his stated intentions were genuine. Caleb was dead, and thus relatively safe from harm, but the boy wasn’t.

The man cocked his head to the side and Caleb had the strangest sensation he had just been tested. Whether he’d passed or failed in the stranger’s estimation was anyone’s guess.

“Mr. Covington, do not be coy. We both are aware it had to do with the child. Alex, is it not? A fine name for a boy, I think.” Caleb didn’t have blood, but he could swear he felt it drain from his face. Was that a threat? If the behemoth even considered harming Alex, Caleb would find a way to destroy him.

“What exactly are you suggesting? That I kidnap a four-year old from his bed every night so he can play with me at the club?” Caleb scrutinized the man closely, watching for any hint of ill intent. He saw none. The giant stayed in his seat, posture relaxed as he shook his large head.

“No. The opposite, in fact. One of the conditions of you accepting this deal would be your ending your association with the child.” The gears turning in Caleb’s mind ground to a halt. Whatever direction he’d assume the conversation would take, it hadn’t been that.

“Excuse me?” End his association with Alex? That was...unthinkable. He felt like hitting the stranger for even suggesting it. Odd because he wasn’t generally a man given to violent impulses. Well...except where Greg Mercer was concerned, but given enough time with the man most everyone would feel that way.

“Do not worry, you do not need the child to be seen. Your connection allowed you to reveal a power that was already within you. The ability is rare, but the energy required to use it can be acquired in other ways.” Caleb was simultaneously intrigued and offended. Yes, he was desperate to learn how to be visible to lifers, but the statement seemed to imply that’s all Alex was to him.

“That’s not the only reason I spend time with Alex.” Caleb would never be so dishonest as to claim the abilities that came with the relationship weren’t a draw, but there was so much more to it than that. Alex filled a hole Caleb had never realized he’d had in him.

Once again he felt the man appraising him. Staring into his eyes as if to discover the secrets of Caleb’s soul. After a moment the giant nodded.

“You are genuinely fond of the boy. I can empathize. It is natural in circumstances like yours, but for your sake, as well as his, you must sever that connection as soon as possible.” That gave Caleb pause. The man’s tone seemed sympathetic, though Caleb was quite aware of how easy that was to fake.

“Why?” What harm could possibly be done to either of them? Alex strengthened Caleb, he was sure of it. He brought him peace and joy. And hadn’t Caleb improved the child’s life as well? Hadn’t he prevented Alex’s father from grinding his son down? Hadn’t he arranged for the boy to pursue his own passions? Hadn’t he taught Alex about music and more importantly about self-confidence?

“What do you know about ‘unfinished business’?” Caleb frowned, unsure where this was heading.

“I’m told the reason ghosts don’t ‘cross over’ when they die is that there is something they left undone in their lifetimes. If they complete whatever task they need to, then they vanish, to whatever awaits them on the other side.” Caleb suppressed a shudder. Crossing over was something he had absolutely no interest in. Even if his parents had been wrong and hellfire wasn’t waiting for him, what was the best he could hope for? It wasn’t like he had anyone potentially waiting for him. Anyone he missed and wanted to be reunited with. What else could heaven hold for him? Wings? A harp? An eternity of serenity? Caleb would pass on that fate, thank you very much.

“Precisely. I do not know what your unfinished business may be, but I can tell you with certainty it is connected to your Alex. The more time you spend with him, the more you risk your existence. Even if that weren’t a concern, you do understand the boy is a lifer. He will eventually die and at present you have no way of ensuring he will return as a ghost.”

Caleb felt his throat close up. The man was right. Alex would die. That shouldn’t be news to Caleb. Intellectually he must have known it, and yet he had never considered it. Alex was so young and Caleb hadn’t really spent much time pondering his own immortality.

Ghosts were uncommon. The small number he’d found in LA told him that. He could be grieving Alex for millennia. Suddenly Caleb remembered something the man said and latched onto it like a drowning man to a buoy.

“At present?” What did that mean? Was it possible to ensure Alex would return as a ghost when he died?

“I can teach you how to bind his soul to yours so that when he does pass on, he will be tethered to you, here in this plane. In the end you’ll have everything you want.”

Caleb thought he’d been tempted before, but now he understood the expression ‘I’d give my right arm for _________.’ A club of his own. A live audience. Alex with him forever.

But he would have to leave him. Leave Alex. He’d miss everything. Watching Alex grow from boy to man. Caleb would be unable to celebrate his successes with him. He would be barred from consoling Alex through his hardships. He’d have to look in Alex’s tearful face and tell him he wasn’t ever coming back.

“I can’t. I can’t just abandon him. It would break his heart.” No. He couldn’t do that. Nothing was worth that.

“What if I told you I could take that pain from him? Lock the memories of you away in his mind. Let him live a normal life. He would not have to grieve you, and when the time is right you could open that box and be joyfully reunited.”

Caleb tried to think rationally, but it was difficult with the pain emanating from his chest. Alex forgetting Caleb would hurt Caleb deeply, but would it hurt Alex? You can’t miss what you’d don’t remember. And loath as Caleb was to admit it, the man wasn’t wrong about a ‘normal life.’

Typically Caleb scoffed at the term ‘normal’, but he was aware it was what most people wanted. By staying in Alex’s life, Caleb would be denying the boy any hope of that. If the incident at the park was any indication it was already creating tension between Alex and his peers. It would only get worse as the boy got older. Forcing Alex to keep a secret of this magnitude would eat at him. The cookie incident was proof of that fact.

He couldn’t decide. He needed time to think. Time to determine if the offer was even genuine.

“Why me? I’m sure there have been other performers over the years who would have leapt at this offer.” How many people had they asked before him? Why had they turned it down? What had happened to them after they did?

“Los Angeles has seen many talented ghosts, but you have more than just talent. You also have intelligence, ambition, and power. It is a rare combination. We have been looking to establish a club here in Hollywood for some time, but we needed someone special to run it.”

Caleb pondered that ringing endorsement for a moment. How much was true and how much was the man blowing smoke up his ass? Intelligence and ambition? In less than a year Caleb had managed to lay the foundation for a ghost business. His was the only such place in town. Objectively he had to admit that spoke to his drive. Power? He’d discovered for himself his abilities were unusual, especially for a ghost as young as he was. The club only worked if lifers were able to watch the performances. If the man was to be believed Caleb had the ability to make that happen. Perhaps the man was being sincere after all.

“Are there other Ghost Clubs?” The way the man spoke suggested he’d struck this arrangement at least once before. Los Angeles was relatively young in comparison to other cities around the world. Surely some of them had to have established clubs already in place.

“Rome. Paris. London, Madrid. Moscow. Berlin. Buenos Aires. Tokyo. Hong Kong. Cairo. Athens. The list goes on. Ghost Club performers routinely swap venues. You can travel the world. Be worshipped by fans from every major country.” It was funny he hadn’t even considered travelling since rematerializing in LA. Now that it was offered to him though, it was an extremely tempting prospect. There had to be a catch. Things that were too good to be true usually were.

“You said there was more than one condition. What were the others?” The big man motioned Caleb to sit opposite him. He’d never stood when Caleb had entered and had let Caleb have the physical high ground up until this moment. Was that deliberate? Allowing Caleb to feel more secure? In control of the situation? This though, suggested they had entered a new phase. The business deal.

“The second is very simple. If you come across any exceptionally powerful spirits, you contact us. We are always on the lookout for new talent.” Caleb nodded once. The request made sense. It wasn’t like there were ghost Help Wanted ads. Some kind of headhunting model would be the only way a ghost organization could find suitable personnel. Caleb himself must have reported by someone, and now he was being offered the opportunity of an afterlife.

“What else?” There had to be more to it than simply picking up the phone from time to time.

“The third condition is that you will take responsibility for the ghosts of Los Angeles.” Caleb was not thrilled with the sound of that.

“In what respect?” Was he supposed to be some kind of undead mayor? Hear grievances. Mitigate petty squabbles? Where was he supposed to find the time, not to mention the patience, if he was running the club?

The man steepled his fingered and fixed Caleb with a penetrating stare. He tried not to be intimidated, but it was unsettling.

“It is crucial to the survival of all ghosts that we remain urban legends. Myths. Stories the world at large scoffs at. We can not afford to become a widely acknowledged reality.” Caleb raised his eyebrows. That didn’t jibe with what he’d already been told.

“You said the guests of the club would be lifers.” If they didn’t know the performers were ghosts, then why would they pay such extravagant fees?

“Select lifers, yes, but we have ways of ensuring their silence. The public at large can not gain proof that we are as real as they are. It would be a disaster. History has proven time and time again that whenever two groups come into contact with one another it only ends one way. War. Sometimes even extinction of one of the sides.” Caleb couldn’t argue with that thinking. Hating the other was something humanity always seemed to excel at.

“What would I be expected to do?” Hopefully the man had the means to enforce this code, because nothing in Caleb’s current repertoire would be much good subduing another ghost.

“Deal with any ghosts who threatens to expose us. How will be up to your discretion as long as the issue is contained. There are skills I will teach you to bring recalcitrant spirits to heel. No one minds a little innocent haunting. A light switch flickering. The car horn beeping. But things on a larger scale, for insistence on your little performance today, would need to be curtailed.”

That gave Caleb pause. It hadn’t crossed his mind that he’d already broken the man’s policy. Twice actually if you counted his possession of Greg Mercer. He pondered mentioning that incident, then decided against. If the man didn’t know, Caleb wasn’t going to risk the deal by telling him.

“Anything else?” The third condition would be a hassle, but considering what he would be getting in return, it was worth the price.

“One last thing. We would need to establish a soul link.” That sounded very new age, but Caleb suspected it was not.

“What is that?” The giant leaned forward, somehow sensing Caleb’s reluctance despite his poker face. Perhaps this was the least attractive condition for the other potential club owners as well. Undoubtedly it was why he saved it for last.

“It is an energy channel. I put my mark on you and I have the ability to tap into your energy reserves if necessary. You, in turn, will establish your own links with less powerful spirits and be able to siphon some of their energy.” Caleb suddenly had an image of the symbol that had appeared on Alex’s head when Caleb had kissed him. Had he already forged one of these ‘soul links’? His stamina had increased since that day. Was that as a result of his constant practicing, or had he been unintentionally stealing energy from Alex?

“Do they hurt?” Alex hadn’t experienced any pain, if anything he’d seemed comforted by it.

“They can be uncomfortable when they are first laid. Beyond that, it is about intention. The kind I will establish with you and that you will make with your fellow performers will be unnoticeable most of the time. It’s only when you draw on an extreme amount of energy that those with your mark will feel any effects. This is why it is important to have as many soul links as possible. The more ghosts, the less power each has to contribute.”

That made sense. Alex usually became sleepy after Caleb performed tricks for him, but Caleb had just assumed it was because he was a young growing boy who needed naps.

“But there are other kinds of links?” The ‘intention’ comment hadn’t escaped Caleb. Caleb’s intention had been benevolent when he’d kissed Alex, ergo his mark shouldn’t harm the boy. That was comforting. What wasn’t comforting was the implication that marks could hurt ghosts.

“It is possible to lay marks that will drain a spirit’s energy completely.” Completely? What did that mean?

“What happens to those spirits?” What happened when a ghost’s energy reached zero?

“They are completely absorbed by the mark-layer.” Dead. That’s what the man was saying. Ghosts could kill each other. Perfect. So much for his earthly cares being over.

“Sounds a bit like ghost cannibalism.” The giant nodded, as if conceding the point.

“I suppose it does. However, there are dangerous spirits in the world and sometimes extreme measures are necessary to deal with them.” Caleb finally understood. Not only was he potentially going to one day face spirits that could end his existence, he was expected to be ready and willing to do the same to them.

“I see.” Caleb couldn’t help but feel doubt. Before this had been a hard decision, but now it was an impossible one. Caleb had no idea if he could hold up his end of the deal if he accepted. He was many things, but a killer? He just didn’t know.

“I’m sure this is very overwhelming, but think about what you’ll be getting out of this bargain. Your own club, designed exactly to your specifications. A suite in this hotel all to yourself where no lifer or ghost will ever trespass. The opportunity to perform before packs houses around the globe. The chance to one day spend an eternity with your Alex. Not to mention the opportunity to learn tricks like this.”

The man waved his hand and suddenly Caleb’s wardrobe had completely changed. Gone was his magician’s garb, which after wearing it for most of the year, even Caleb was a bit tired of. Instead he found himself in a very familiar looking black suit. It wasn’t contemporary, but from Caleb’s time. There was even a pocket watch. He looked down at the magazine on the table. Of course. He’d worn this suit in the photo shoot.

The giant wasn’t done. Another wave of his hand and two brandy glasses appear on the table. Caleb blinked. That was new. Moving an existing object was one thing but conjuring drinks and, dare he hope, food was quite another.

“May I?” Caleb nodded at the glasses. He’d eaten and drunk nothing since his death. The need wasn’t there anymore, but the longing was.

“Of course.” The man picked his own glass and raised it. Caleb followed suit. “Do smerti!”

They clicked their drinks and Caleb sipped. It was exactly as he remembered. The taste. The warm feeling spreading through his limbs. Incredible.

“What did that toast mean?” He was fairly certain it was Russian, but beyond that he had no clue.

“‘To death.’ Typically my people toasted to heath, but in our cases, ‘death’ seemed more appropriate. What do you say Mr. Covington? Will you accept my deal?”

It was a lot, everything he’d learned in the last few minutes. Everything he’d been offered. He appreciated how the man had answered all his questions. He’d been as upfront about the drawbacks as he had the incentives.

“I’d say it’s an offer I can’t refuse.” Perhaps if he were another type of man he’d walk away from this opportunity. Be satisfied with what he had, and accept its limitations. Caleb, however, was not that type of man and never had been. He’d risk anything if it meant he could have everything.

“Excellent.” The man extended his hand to Caleb and after only a moment’s pause Caleb took it. The moment his hand made contact, he felt a brief burning sensation on his wrist. When he pulled back to look, he saw a dark red circle and within the circle what seemed to be an upside down capital L followed by an uppercase P. Odd. After a few seconds it sunk into his wrist and disappeared. Caleb rubbed the spot, the pain fading as quickly as it had come.

“It just occurred to me. We’ve just established this ‘soul link’ and I don’t even know your name.” The man grinned wider than he had at any other point in the conversation. Caleb suddenly had the unnerving impression that it was less of a smile, and more of a wolf baring its teeth.

“Grigori. Gregori Yefimovich Rasputin.”

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un-piorthos-et-tous-pour-un · 4 years ago

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The thrilling adventures of a PA - Chapter Four : A funny thing happened on the way to Ray’s stand up (Adam Sackler x Reader)

A week as passed since that night at the bar and astonishingly, you’ve managed to stick to your resolution and everything’s back to normal on set. Even Shirley’s cutting you some slack with her quest but that’s because she thinks you’re going out soon with one of the guys you’ve talked with at the bar. A little white lie that you gave her but at least, it worked. Today will be a long day when it comes to waiting ‘cause there’ll be many scenes to shoot, meaning the cast & the crew will move around a lot & wait for everything to be set before actually doing anything. But you got it covered. You managed to install an improvised fitness corner near the trailers park to distract Adam and a couple of other actors between takes. Being idle was a problem around here so you tried to come up with something that would be time consumming but yet easy to make happen and there it was. A few mats on the ground and half a dozen machines moved from a warehouse where they were stored and voilà ! “Anything that makes everyone’s life easier” you remember Delilah’s words on your first day & thought to be just a phrase. Turned out to be all you had to say to the studio’s crew to make it happen.

You’re halfway throught the day when the actor finds you in the parking lot, where you’re talking on the phone with your best friend. He waits awkwardky for you to end the call before he finally says something. - “Are you doing anything tonight ?”, he asks running a hand in his hair as he watches you put your phone away. “I’ve got a friend who’s doing stand up, it’s his first time & I promised him I’ll come by for support. I thought it could be more bearable for me to have someone to suffer with so, if you’re free you could come with. It could be fun...”, he adds rushingly, not letting you say a word, almost as if he tries to avoid you saying no to his invitation. - “I’d love to go, I like stand up, where’s the place ?”, you answer simply, making him frown as he was not expecting you to say that, you could tell. - Uh, it’s in Echo Park I think, I don’t remember the exact address but you can come with me ? You’re off when I am so we can get there together, it’ll be easier for us both, don’t you think ?”, he remarks as you nod in agreement. - “Ok, we’ll meet at your trailer before leaving then, that way we can share a cab”, you reply smiling faintly. Adam nods too now, also smiling & you guess he’s relieved to have somebody coming along for the occasion, not because he was going with you. “Anything else ? Oh, the package will be delivered to your place tomorrow, I’ve checked”, you add, remembering he asked you to take care of that for him a couple of days ago. - “Hm, no, thanks. Great, now I just have to figure out a way to convince my sister to accept the gift”, he replies, setting his hands on his hips, thoughtful. - “I’m sure you’ll come up with something”, you let out as you smile back at him, standing up from your seat. “Let’s get you to the make up trailer now, you’re expected on stage 6 in 30 minutes”, you point out as you’re leading the way already, without making sure he’s following. Because you know he is, you can hear his footsteps for one, but it’s the little grunt he makes as you set off that lets you know his position quite easily. The rest of the day goes by without any other hitch and when Adam’s shot his last scene, he tells you he’ll meet you in a few minutes outisde after he took a quick shower. As usual, he was worked up all the time while filming and indeed, the shower’s not superfluous if you’re about to head out to a closed space for a couple of hours side by side. While he’s showering, you make a stop to your locker, changing to something a bit less casual but nothing too fancy either. A watery green blouse over a pair of jeans, you’ve let your hair down again. You’re on your phone texting whe he comes out of his trailer, also changed and it’s hard for you not to look so you keep your eyes on the screen for a few seconds more. - “The cab should be here in 5 minutes, just when we’ll get to the entrance”, you let him know before you put your phone back in your purse. - “You’ve cleaned up nicely too I see”, he replies as you both start to walk side by side to exit the studios. - “Thank you for that sweet compliment”, you retort half sassing him out for it as you reach the gates, waving Al goodnight and catching the cab in the corner of your eyes. You hail it & both get in together, silence falling immediately between you two. You’re sticking to your plan, not engaging with him if it can be avoided. Not an easy task for you since you’re usually someone warm and talkative but it’s what needs to be done if you want to distance yourself from him. Even if right now he’s sitting next to you, only a few inches away, close enough for you to smell the perfectly recognizable scent of his soap. Pine wood. You loved that smell and it was fitting for a man built like an oak tree. You exchange small talk during the ride & it feels weird. Like you both just met or something and you hate it but you gotta stick to your plan. When you get out of the cab, you walk for a few meters and see there’s a line to get in so you join the queue, still in silence. The air is a bit friskier than you thought but you expect to get in quickly so you don’t say anything. It was your choice not to take a jacket with you so you suck it up like a big girl. - “So it’s his first time doing this ? I thought he was managing a coffee shop”, you finally say as you move up the line a little. - “He still owns the spot yeah, but he wanted to try it out. He thought of it a long time ago & I’ve told him to start with improv but he didn’t like it so he tried stand up instead and here we are”, he replies as he puts back some of his hair, still partially wet from his shower. - “I see”, you nod a bit amused by the tale. “You’re a good friend, showing up for his big night. Even if you dragged me into it too”, you kid but you’re sincere. It’s a nice gesture coming from him, especially since you know Adam’s not that great when it comes to nurture that kind of friendships & how it links him to his ex in a strange way. - “I like spending time with you, that’s nothing new”, he retorts with that damned smile you hate so much because it makes you weak in the knees in less than a second. “I can behave when I want to”, he adds still smiling like an idiot and you shake your head, rolling your eyes in the process. - “See, that’s where I know you’re a great actor, I almost believed you for a second when you said that”, you fight back with a grin. There it was again. The easy banter, the little game you missed so much lately but you have to be careful as you’re getting dangerously close to him again. - “Touché”, he says putting his right hand over his heart, trying to get a perfect french accent & you can’t help but chuckle at the scene. Why is that tall idiot so adorable ? You start to shiver a bit, the waiting line hasn’t moved for some time now and Adam notices. - “Are you cold ? Do you want my jacket ?”, he asks but he’s already taking it off before you say anything. He lands the jacket (a good size too big for you) on your shoulders and the corner of his lips raises a bit. “There kid, don’t you freeze out on me, I need you in there,” he says scanning your face as you look at him. He’s only a few inches away from you, not moving away, his hands still on your shoulders. - “So you’re being chivalrous just for your own interest, huh ? How knightly of you”, you tease him as you look over at the entrance for a second, to see if the line’s about to move. You look up again, seeing he still focused on you. “What ?”, you ask as you’re getting nervous from all that attention on yourself. You’re about to say something else to break the heavy silence but he doesn’t let you do it. Instead, his lips land on yours within a second and you’re stunned. From the surprise mostly. Was this really happening, for real ? But it was. The pressure of those plump lips letting you know it wasn’t just some vivid fantasy. And it that moment, you throw all your resolve to the gutter and kiss him back. It’s the bouncer’s cough that makes you part ways as he announces you two can finally get in. You’re almost out of breath, licking your lips in a reflex motion and floatting in a haze but you manage to blink a few times, seeing the actor smiling at you as his hand lands on the small of your back, guiding you inside. His large stature makes it easy to navigate among the crowd and you both settle at a table near the back, close to the platform serving as the stage tonight. He asks you what drink you want and leaves you when you’ve answered him. A most welcomed pause for you to take in what just happened two minutes ago. Adam just kissed you. Out of the blue. Without any warning. Not that you mind anyway but did it really happened and what was it suppose to mean. That’s what is really a mystery to you right now (& you don’t know it yet but it’ll be something you’ll be asking yourself for the upcoming days). You’re lost in your thoughts, the noise surrounding you helping to let your mind race in every direction, trying to comprehend that whole ordeal. Why did he do that ? Why now ? Why didn’t he say anything after ? Why did you let him kiss you ? Well for that last question, the answer is pretty obvious but doesn’t help you in any way. Still completely lost in your contemplations when he comes back with your drinks, you just nod to thank him & when you’re about to ask him a question, the lights go off announcing the beginning of the set so you bottle up that storm raging in your head for now. You try to enjoy the different sketches, to be a good cheer for those people trying to make you laugh but you’re not really paying attention. It’s selfish but you can’t help it. All you can think of is that kiss. You’ve dreamt about it so many times, almost since you’d met Adam. Many scenarios went through your mind over the time, some rougher than some others but you never pictured it like it actually went down. Simply because those were ideal situations and that reality rarely is. You should have known he wouldn’t say anything, most of men aren’t talkers, especially in these instances. But you’re dying to know, to have your doubts appeased. You don’t want to start imagining things if this is just some game he’s playing with you because he can. Stew warned you about that aspect of the job, but you really hope you’ve read Adam correctly to know he wouldn’t abuse his position over you like that. Talking about him, the last aspiring comic is out of the stage and he’s standing up as Ray’s coming to your table. He introduces you and you all begin to chat a little, rating Ray’s performance (which was quite good from what you’ve heard when you paid enough attention to it). Ray seems to be someone interesting from what you’ve gathered from what Adam told you about him & what you can tell yourself now. He proposes to buy you two a drink but weirdly, it’s Adam who goes to the bar in the end & now you’re sure he’s avoiding the moment when you’ll be alone with him. It hurts, you’re not gonna lie but in a way, you get it. The place is very loud, he’s here for Ray initially but still, at one point or another, you expect some explanation from him. So for now, you play along, get to know Ray a little more and pretend not to think about what happened. When you’re finally taking your leave, you’re pleased you’ve met Ray and leanred more on the actor (his fault entirely, he left you with his friend and you simply asked how the two of them met so off course you got gossip out of said unsuspecting friend quite easily). But you’re still frustrated as hell about that whole situation. Adam insists on walking you home so you think it’s a good sign, that at some point he’ll mention the kiss but no. You chat about tonight, what or who made you laugh during the show case but nothing about what he did in the waiting line. You still don’t push it, not wanting to appear too clingy or desperate even if it has been eating at you for hours. And foolishly, you hope that now that you’re at your place it will give a better setting for him to say something but nothing. He takes back his jacket, wishes you goodnight and sets off in the night, leaving you speechless and even more lost. No need to say that you can’t find sleep once you’re in your bed, the evening’s events roaming in your head constantly. The alarm the next morning is painful for you, since you hardly had any sleep but you get up somehow, motivated to show up earlier at his trailer so you can ask him what’s been burning your brain for the last 12 hours or so. You knock at his door, coffee & bagels still warm, hear him calling you in and feel a little spike in your heartbeat but quickly it comes down whe you realize he’s still acting like nothing happened. It meant nothing. Nothing at all. Just like Stew said it would be. But at least now you know where you’re standing. it doesn’t make it easier, how could it but it’ll teach you a lesson. Never trust someone who’s job is to fake being someone else.

#fanfic #adam sackler x reader #the thrilling adventures of a PA #yes the title is a nod to Marvel's one shot w/ Coulson #but it fits so well for that chapter so...#sorry but not sorry #as usual feedbacks are welcome

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deckyshep · 4 years ago

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Sweet as a Rose

Original Short Story by R.D. Shepard Written 2020 August 4 Content Warnings: Family, closeted gay relationship Summary: Warren Glenn is a live-in farmhand working for the Rose family farm. One day, the youngest son, Benjamin Rose, visits the family home for the first time since his move to New York City five years prior. After a nice family dinner, the two find something in one another they haven’t found in anyone else for a long, long time. Comments: I wrote this a few months ago, but edited it recently when I felt awfully lonely. There’s nothing that picks me up and dusts me off like gay love. 💛

It was a quiet afternoon in late August of 1953. The leaves on the oak tree just outside the Rose house were yellowing, some already orange and ready to fall to the ground as the nights grew cold and windy. Warren Glenn, a long-time stable hand working for the Rose family’s home and their farm, sat outside on the old rickety porch, eating a quick omelet dinner before he’d head out on his horse to round up the longhorns. Warren was a fit man at twenty-six, though the scruff on his face and the crows’ feet around his deep green eyes made him look a few years older. With his long, curly, black hair pulled up behind his head and his sharp jaw, he knew he would’ve been caught and cuffed quickly by somebody’s daughter if he hadn’t been brought up as a farm worker, evidenced by his deeply tanned skin.

The mother, Catherine Rose, sat inside, sewing up the pairs of trousers he’d ripped over the past few weeks – she chastised him for it every month, but there wasn’t much he could do when he was doing half the work on the farm. Hell if he knew where the older brother was, either – Leon had said something about trading in town up north.

Once the eggs were down his gullet, he made his way back inside, washing his plate in the sink and wiping his hands on his pants and starting for the door. “I’m rounding up the cattle, missus. I’ll be back before dusk.”

“You got that gun on you?” she asked from the living room, peeking around the corner from her chair.

“’Course I do,” he answered, feeling the pistol at his hip. “I’ll be careful. Leon should be back soon if you need anything.”

“Alrighty, baby. I’ll send him after you if you ain’t back before sundown.”

Warren laughed a little at that; Catherine had really taken a liking to him. He walked out the front door and headed to the stables, where Delilah, the black-maned quarter horse, was drinking water from her trough. He opened the door to her stable, scratching under her chin for a moment before pulling his riding gear from the chest at the back of her quarters. Once she was saddled up, he climbed up on her, situating himself before kicking her off.

While rounding up their cattle was a boring affair, it only got worse when their old beagle, Rusty, died last May. Still, it gave him motivation to focus while he was herding them back from the plains – too often did he lose himself in thought, only to lose half the herd within minutes. The longhorns weren’t too aggressive this season, thankfully.

After hours and hours of slowly riding along the borders of the herd, he finally made it back to the ranch, rounding them up past the heavy iron gates of their pasture. He locked the gate tight, making his way past the house to the stable – until he spotted big, bearded Leon on the porch, talking to a younger man a few inches shorter and at least half Leon’s weight. His clothes looked eastern, and though he looked like he’d been travelling for weeks from the bags under his eyes, the pretty blue bowtie around his collar and its matching suspenders looked crisp and untouched. He’d just gotten off a blond draft horse and was petting the creature’s mane at the bottom of the porch steps while he talked with Leon. Leon caught his eyes and tilted his head toward the stables, and Warren narrowed his eyes, bringing Delilah back to her stable and undressing her before locking her up and heading back to the house.

“Good timing, Warren,” Leon exclaimed, winking at him as he approached the porch. “Need to introduce you. B.J., this is Warren Glenn. He’s been helping out around the farm while I’ve been settling shit before heading out to Louisiana with Marcie. Warren, this is my little brother.”

Now that Warren was right up next to him, he could see the family resemblance. The young man – Benjamin, possibly? He couldn’t possibly like being called B.J. – had the same blue eyes and flaming red hair as Leon, though his freckled face was clean-shaven and, to put it politely, babyish. (His long, shaggy hair pulled up in a low ponytail didn’t help much, either.) Strangely enough compared to his family, he seemed more a city boy than anything with his professional little getup. “Howdy, sir.” Felt a little weird calling this young man “sir,” but he had to be nice.

The younger brother laughed a little, holding out a hand to shake – his voice was soft and warm, a stark difference from his brother’s gravelly tone, and he still had a bit of that southern accent lilting his words. “Just call me Benny. Nobody calls me ‘sir’ but my clients.” Warren shook his hand, finding that Benny had a surprisingly good grip. “Good to meet you, Warren. I’m sure you’ve got your hands full lately.”

“I don’t mind it, Benny,” Warren grinned, clasping his hands behind his back. “Good pay, good people.”

“No need to lie for my sake,” Benny snorted, crossing his arms. “I know they’re all crazy.” Leon huffed, landing a playful punch on Benny’s shoulder. “Kidding, I’m kidding. Missed being around the farm.”

“You didn’t even send a letter ahead,” Leon retorted, narrowing his eyes. “What’d you come out here for?”

Benny gave a pitiful smile. “Just wanted to surprise Mama. I know it’s been a minute since I showed up.”

“What’re you doing up in New York, again?” Leon asked, cracking his knuckles. “You’re a boss or something?”

“Executive administrator of manufacturing and development for… well, half the ports in NYC,” Benny explained, dumbing it down with a small laugh as soon as he saw the unamused look on Leon’s face. “I manage the factories making equipment big shipping rigs need to cross the Atlantic. Too much paperwork, lot of boring Christmas parties. But at least I got enough money to live, y’know?”

“Figured you were a city boy,” Warren commented quietly, a hint of a smile showing on his lips. “How’d a young guy like you land a job like that?”

Leon laughed with his whole chest, slapping his arm around Benny for a second. “Young? B.J.’s almost thirty.”

“Almost thirty? I got five years still, jackass,” Benny chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Warren’s eyes widened, and he lowered his head. “Sorry, Benny. Didn’t mean to offend.”

Benny tilted his head, smiling a little. “Didn’t hurt me none. I know I got a baby face, but Leon hogged all of Papa’s beard-growing capabilities.”

“Speaking of parents,” Leon started, looking toward the front door, “you gotta go see Mama. She’ll lose her marbles.”

“Right,” Benny replied, then nodded at Warren. “Again, real good to meet you, Warren. Might as well get cleaned up for supper while we’re at it.”

Warren glanced out to the sky, realizing the sun was already halfway past the horizon. “Good call.”

***

Supper was surprisingly nice with the whole Rose family around. Catherine made chicken stew, and Benny described New York City like Warren always thought it was – a huge, bustling city with towering buildings and thousands of businesses. While he was always curious what was on the other side of the fence, Warren wasn’t sure he’d like living in such a busy place.

When Benny took the dishes to the kitchen to wash them, Warren took the opportunity to head out of the house; he needed to clear his head after being surrounded by so many people. He sat on the porch for a while, watching as the crescent moon slowly rose in front of the millions of stars dotting the night sky. He needed a cigarette too badly, but he’d been trying to quit for ages, and a couple of weeks ago, he’d done the damn thing and just didn’t buy anymore. Still, his leg bounced nervously, and he kept bringing his empty fingers up to his face like he was going to take a smoke. What a shitty habit.

After a good half hour, he heard the door behind him open and close gently. Benny walked down the steps, sitting down next to him quietly. He didn’t speak for a while, merely enjoying the view of the bluish night sky and the moonlight dimly reflecting off the fencing lining the dirt road heading north. Then, he leaned to the side, resting his shoulder against the stair’s balustrade. “I miss it sometimes.”

Warren glanced over at him. His blue eyes were practically shining in the moonlight. “Being home?”

“Being in the country.” Benny looked at him out the corners of his eyes, smiling. “It’s so quiet out here, y’know? Nothing but the wind rolling over the grass. Maybe a creak here and there from the house. I sleep like a baby when I come home, even after all these years.”

Warren leaned back, resting his elbows against a higher step behind him with a soft grin. “Ain’t nothing better than miles and miles of quiet, Benny.”

“I know.” Benny was silent for a few seconds, then he sighed. “Thank you. For taking care of my family. I… I left because I wanted to do them proud, y’know? I got a college education, I make good money, a lot of which I send back to them once a month, I take care of myself… But I know it ain’t enough.”

Warren’s expression went somber, and he reached over, patting Benny’s thigh. “But this life here… It’s not what you wanted, was it?”

Benny shook his head, chewing the inside of his cheek. “I wanted more than filling the food troughs every morning at the crack of dawn. I wanted to make something of myself. And I’m doing it.”

“Then I think it’s enough.” Warren leaned back again, smiling warmly at him. “Yeah, your family misses you. But I think they know you were meant to do something else.”

Benny returned the smile, lowering his head. “You ever think like that? For yourself, I mean. You ever get restless out here?”

“Sometimes,” Warren replied, glancing out at the moon in the distance. “But I love what I do here. I think about living in a big city, and it just seems… lonely.”

Benny chuckled a little, turning to him. “Lonely?”

“So many people running around, but you don’t know them from the coop.” Warren took a deep breath, letting it out through his nose. “I like my cohorts to be as close as I can get them.”

Benny leaned against the higher steps beside him. “As close as you can get them, huh?”

Warren glanced over at Benny, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks, and he looked back down with a grin. “Yeah.”

Benny looked over his face for a moment, then looked away with a shy smile. Then, he stood. “I wanna show you something, Warren.” Warren raised an eyebrow, but Benny motioned for him to follow as he started walking away from the house, and he jumped up to his feet, following.

Walking the small dirt path that connected to other similar paths leading to the stables, the cow pasture, and the unused barn, Benny made his way down the barn path with Warren behind him, the sounds of their quick steps over the dirt being the only audible noises in the night. Benny made a turn around to the back of the barn, Warren hurrying to catch up, until the younger man stopped at a small door in the barn. Entering the door after Benny, he spotted him ahead, quickly climbing up a ladder along the inner wall. “Wait up,” Warren whispered harshly, starting up the ladder.

When Warren finally reached the top, he spotted a long, thin platform along the back of the barn. In the center was a wooden balcony jutting out a large window, which was cornered by the roof at the top. In the center of the balcony were two long haybales pushed together, as though to make a bed. Walking out to the balcony, he saw Benny leaning over its balustrade, staring out into the distance.

Warren stepped up beside him, resting his elbows against the railing. “Never thought there was anything up here.”

Benny let a hint of a smile grace his lips. “Papa and his brothers built this barn from scratch. They added this little balcony so they could enjoy a beer or two after a hard day’s work.” He looked straight down, tracing his fingers around a nail in the wooden railing. “Used to come up here when I was younger. Mama grounded me when she thought I was sneaking girls up here, but I never snuck anyone but myself into this barn. Girls were too prissy for me, anyway.”

Warren chuckled, watching Benny’s face as he looked over the land before them. There was something magical about the way the moonlight glinted off his eyes. “Never found myself fond of them, either.”

Benny gave him a knowing gaze, turning to face him as he leaned against the railing. “I knew you were a good-looking man, but now I know you’re a sensible one, too.”

Warren pursed his lips, looking him up and down for a moment. Then he stood up straight, stepping just a smidge closer. “You coming onto me, Benny Rose?” he murmured, his hand finding Benny’s on the railing.

Though it was dim in the moonlight, Warren could see the blush come to Benny’s ears. “Only if you don’t tell my mama,” he replied quietly, pulling his hand away only to trail it up Warren’s arm.

Warren gave a soft grin, reaching up to brush a loose lock of hair from Benny’s face. “I’ll keep all your secrets if you let me kiss those pretty lips.”

Benny laughed, resting both his hands on Warren’s chest. “Sounds good, cowboy.”

#rdshepardwriting #gay #mlm #short story

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thaumaturtles · 5 years ago

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Begin ANGELQUEST

The other day, I was doing some.......

...... studying.......

When I came across an advertisement. This isn’t at all an unusual experience; I’ve been on the internet for a decade and change and I’ve come to accept that ads are a part of the experience. This was an ad I’d seen many times before, too. I’m so accustomed to seeing it that my eyes often skip right over it. However, I’ve been reading a lot of articles about Enlightenment, lately, and I’ve been trying to put that into practice in my everyday life. I’ve been attempting, to varying degrees of success, to become more aware of myself and my environment, to probe onward into my mind’s own blind spots. In short, I’m trying to blitz my chakras. (Don’t worry, am Indian, can reclaim.)

And so, for perhaps the first time, I took a moment to truly see the ad in front of me. To stop and smell the dogshit hiding behind the roses. And, goodness, was it a sight to behold. Ladies, gentlemen, and all who fall betwixt, I present to you, THIS:

Take a moment, if necessary, to take it all in.

Have you collected yourself? Good. You’re holding up the rest of the class.

I don’t know how I’ve managed to let this pass without mental comment on more than one occasion. How did I look at this image, think “angel reading? yeah, sure, that’s a thing that exists” and then shuffle along? The only explanation I can muster is Divine intervention, which would ironically lend this product some legitimacy. I need to understand. What does Angel Reading mean? How could such a process be personalized, and, furthermore, how could it take place over the Internet? Who is this “Celeste”? What is she after? Why does she look vaguely disappointed in me? Can she see my soul? What is an “Angelic Medium”?????

Clearly, if I want answers, I’m going to have to dive in. I place my Crocodile Dundee hat on my head with no small measure of trepidation, though I must confess a moiety of excitement deep within. As I hike up my Adventurin’ Shorts and stuff a few hundred metres of rope into my backpack, I consider the long road ahead. And then, with my cosplay explorer’s outfit put on to my approval, I sit down at my computer. I’m really not sure why I felt the need to do all that when I’m just gonna be here at home.

I steel my will, and I click.

This loading screen appears, and I’d like to mention that the URL for this page is perhaps longer than any URL I’ve ever seen before in my 16 years.

Okay, let’s just take a moment to get our bearings here and-

HOLY MACKEREL, THERE’S A COUNTDOWN!

And only twenty-seven minutes left! Sakes alive, I clicked this link just in time! Imagine If I’d wasted more time farting around and dressing up like Indiana Jones!

Although, weirdly enough, whenever I refresh the page, the timer restarts, and it always restarts at 27 minutes and 50ish seconds, which is a random-enough number to seem legitimate.

Hmm. Odd.

I wonder if maybe the countdown isn’t actually real and is just there to pressure you into typing your info more quickly so you don’t notice how fishy this whole opera-

OH MY GOD ONLY 26 MINUTES!!!!!!!

OK, gotta think quickly here. Gosh, they’re asking some personal questions right off the bat, but I can’t let them know it’s me; they might recognize me from tumblr. If this sting operation’s gonna go forth I gotta lie my ass off. My name? Uh, uh.. My name is Dyl-Dy- Uhhhh, shit, okay, it’s Dylan-NO, Dylllllllll...... Delilah? Delilah. Like from the Bible. Yeah, that’s fitting, especially since I’m swindling these fools. Soon, Celeste, your hair will be mine.

They’re asking for my date of birth, which I’m hesitant to put because my 16th birthday party was kind of a big deal and Celeste might’ve heard about it, in which case she’ll know it’s me AND things will be super awkward cause I didn’t invite her to the party.

I put 4/13/1969 obviously

They’re also asking for my e-mail address, which I can’t give out because it has my full name, address, and social security number in it, so let’s just pull this ripcord real quick and parachute out of this nightmare zone, and over to a quick, free, secure e-mail client. That is, protonmail.com, which is not my usual e-mail server and will thus throw Celeste’s goons even farther off my trail

Wow, that was a surprisingly quick and painless process! I might just have to use protonmail in the future

So anyway here’s my info, sent in right under the wire, with a mere 24.3 minutes left! God that was close. Picture that classic scene in Indiana Jones where he slides under the door and then reaches back in to get his hat, only it’s an out-of-shape teen and also the door hasn’t even started closing yet.

I went with my actual country because, c’mon, there’re a lot of people in Jamaica. Statistically speaking, how likely is it they’d find me through that?

You know I didn’t. You know I fucking didn’t. Why are you asking.

Also, here’s a quick rundown of what Celeste is actually offering in case anyone was curious. It does somewhat tickle me that she claims she’ll “get to work immediately” as soon as anyone clicks the link and subscribes, as though the process isn’t completely automated. It evokes a clear image of Celeste, in full angelic garb, sitting at a computer screen and answering calls while also typing into three discrete keyboards simultaneously.

The idea that she could personally take the order of every individual who clicks this ad betrays either a complete lack of confidence in the desirability of her product, or an incredible amount of confidence in her own ability to multitask.

Who is “she”? Celeste? That doesn’t make much sense in the context here. Peter’s Guardian Angel? But earlier Celeste made it sound like all angels use he/him! Also, what does “bring her back” mean if it’s the angel? Can angels leave and later be found again? I feel like if you find your guardian angel once, that should be it forever, but apparently they can leave and you have to ensnare them again?????

Hooray! A link from an unknown source to an unknown destination! I sure can’t wait to click it all day long!

The things I do in the name of science, I swear to God Celeste.

It took a minute but here it is. Sidenote: I rather enjoy the irony of an inbox which consists of three e-mails about encryption and ways to curate a safe internet experience, and one which is an automated link from a bullshit ad for a product that doesn’t exist. There’s a subtle poetry to this image. I almost want to frame it, and then sell it for an exorbitant amount of money.

Here’s the e-mail, folx. If ever you needed proof that this was a scam, look no further.

Who on this good green earth would think beginning such a missive with, “Thank you for your trust,” would be a good way to garner MORE goodwill? When I go to my local grocer and I purchase a party-sized bag of Tostitos to eat by myself over the course of a day and a half because I’m in control of my body, goddammit, the bag doesn’t say, “Thank you for believing in us! We promise we won’t give you dysentery!

Like, what the fuck? “Thank you for your trust.” Your product should be able to stand on its own two feet and proudly proclaim, “I’m gonna give you a fucking angel reading or die trying!”

That initial line has honestly made me more scared than ever for this process. I’m confident I’m going to click that link and it’s going to auto-download a terabyte of obscure Norwegian pornography to my hard drive. I did just update my computer this morning, however, and all my data are backed up, so I feel somewhat more secure than I might otherwise.

Did I really just say “data are”? I know it’s grammatically correct and all, but it’s still jarring to hear. Messes with my mental flow. And wouldn’t the proper, descriptivist thing to do be to use “data is” to avoid confusion? Using “data are” feels clunky, is more difficult to say, and makes me look a bit snobbish. I’d delete it but that would require hitting the backspace button on my computer and I’m frankly quite lazy about that sort of thing. What was I talking about again? Oh, right. I have to click the link.

Again with the “thank you for your trust” bullshit! Whatever, I’m going to let it pass. They’re clearly going for a friendly, approachable persona here, even if they’re doing it in the most threatening, ass-backwards way possible.

This next email took a seemingly endless eight minutes to arrive, during which time I meditated, raised a bonsai tree to adulthood, watched Marley & Me, grappled with intense feelings of loneliness, and worked on some of my homework.

Or maybe I just played games on my phone. You decide!

Okay, not quite what “hereby” means, but sure. It’s a common mistake, likely exacerbated by the presence of the word “here” within “hereby.” Sort of a “wherefore does not mean where” situation I suppose.

Anyway, I’m submitting to the mortifying ordeal of clicking the link yet again.

Christ get a load of this shit. How fitting that the Angelic stone for someone born on 4/13 would be Jade. My archangel is Megatron apparently??? His info claims he’s some sort of scribe. My major planet is Neptune, and my secondary planet is.... the sun? Is anyone going to tell Celeste what stars are or do I have to do everything myself around here? I do like that ram up in the top left though. I’m naming you Ram Elliot.

Now for the pièce de résistance. Meet Mahasiah. Mahasiah is not my guardian angel; Mahasiah is the guardian angel for anyone born between April 10th-14th. My guardian angel is Yerathel, apparently. A few things I learned while researching this: both Mahasia and Yerathel have “feminine energies” (???) and both have Fire as their associated classical element. Also, Yerathel rules over Intelligence, which is one thing I actually somewhat like about myself. This is actually kind of neat to learn about!

I mean come on. That’s pretty fuckin cool. His name means “He Who Punishes Evildoers” which is beyond epic, and his associated gem is Smoky Quartz, aka the only Steven Universe character.

You know, maybe this whole Angel Reading business isn’t a scam after all. Maybe it’s a perfectly safe process and I’ll be totally fine, what am I worrying about? At the very least, it couldn’t hurt to explore her site a bit more..... for research’s sake.

yeah baby tell me more

certainly, miss celeste, anything for you

wait, aren’t I already in a relationshi-

JAZZERCISING JUNIPERS BATMAN THERE’S ONLY 28 MINUTES LEFT

holy shit! I want accurate readings!

Oh god oh no okay i’ll do whatever you want celeste please don’t leave me i need my tarots

THEY KNOW ABOUT ME ALREADY OMG

Well, okay, even in my currently addled state I can still see that “Duo-Telepathy” is complete bullshi-

OH WELL IF AMANDA GAVE THEM THREE WHOLE STARS I HAVE TO TRUST IT

Amazingly, my info was pre-filled in. Almost like this site is linked to Celeste’s in some way, or perhaps even run by the same group of scammeUPSTANDING CITIZENS IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY

Ooh, another e-transmission from my good friend Celeste! Oh, how I’ve missed her! And apparently large and surprising discoveries have been made concerning me! She’s presenting me a Guide? I sure hope I’ll be able to open it, hassle-free, with no additional purchases/information required!

OHOHOHOHO

bro i’m shitting my drawers rn

I have no fucking clue what that means but you said FREE so i’m in!

oh my god there’s still so much left. just shut the fuck up and take my money you fools

AW TITS YEAH

....i think

Okay, I know the original thing said FREE and I should be “mad” or watever, but look at that bargain! that’s more than half off! It might as well be free! I’d be stupid NOT to buy it!

I’ve invented a lot of secondary information for Delilah. The phone number is merely (559) YOU-SUCK, as a subtle way of establishing the power dynamic at play here. I’m sure Celeste will appreciate it.

Hmmmmm.............. It would seem my method of “just input numbers randomly” won’t work here. Such a shame. Credit card fraud used to be so easy. I’ll have to put that on the backburner, though, because look what just appeared in my inbox!

You can see where this is going.

I’ll take my leave now, this post is getting long enough as is, but I do feel it’s important to note that doing a quick bit of research shows that Celeste & co. are famous for emotional manipulation, as well as getting people addicted to their products and forcing a sort of dependency upon them. It’s important to do your research, and remember basic internet safety tips like don’t click popups or check if a site is legit before downloading from them. It’s incredibly easy to get trapped down this sort of rabbit hole, where you wind up buying more and more of their products like you’re stockpiling for the Rapture. Not me, though, I’m obviously fine and can quit anytime I like. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go try a bunch of credit card numbers until one works.

#dylan talks #angelquest #long post #why do i keep making these #also yes this post was inspired by 'come with me on a magical journey through the internet' and 'an offer you cant refuse'#what about it

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softlyblues · 5 years ago

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The music wraps around the trees, hanging off the branches, playing with the dangling leaves and teasing the sky. It pours down to meet me, hanging off my fingertips, dancing along my shoulders, and the cold heat of it makes me shiver, makes me yelp in fear and discomfort. Something is running to find me, and I am out of breath - I can no longer outrun it.

I don’t know what it is. All I know is that I need to escape it, them, him, her, or I won’t leave the woods alive.

***

The first impression I get of Ireland is the first impression most people get of Ireland. It is raining and it is cold, and the sun is hidden behind thick grey clouds, and the wet is seeping into my boots and through the strip of fabric between my hood and my neck. My knuckles are blue around the handle of my suitcase, and my thumbs have turned white without circulation.

“This is the house,” says the man driving the car we’re in, the window-wipers scraping tunefully across the windscreen every half-second to combat the downpour.

He is called Joshua Raleigh, and he’s who I’ve been in contact with over the last year to finalise the purchase of the aforementioned house. Today is the first time I’ve met him, and I’m surprised - my head had conjured a greasy estate agent, red-cheeked and wet-haired, hair dye and cheap suits, and Raleigh is none of those things. He’s young and sandy blonde and he’s wearing an unbranded red polo neck with bleached blue jeans, muddy at the cuffs. A wedding ring on his finger, and a hole in his left ear where a piercing must normally sit.

Part of our agreement had been that he pick me up at Dublin Airport and drive me the rest of the way to the house, and I’d been dreading small talk with the real estate agent of my nightmares, but the drive has been quite pleasant - weather chat, talk about families, about Ireland, about how much Raleigh enjoys working around the little village I’m moving to. About his wife, his newborn baby.

“Where?” I ask. All I see outside are trees, turning golden. Toast in the mornings.

Trees, and rain.

“Through there - the drive is pretty long, but you’ll see it in two seconds,” Raleigh leans forward over the steering wheel and smiles, top teeth sticking out over his bottom lip. “There!”

I copy his pose, peering around the trunk of a peeling tree, curiosity itching out at me. I’ve only seen the house in pictures, and Raleigh’s been more than accommodating with a digital camera and the services of gmail, but seeing it in person is different. The house, the whole reason I’ve uprooted and left without much of a word to anyone.

He says house, but in truth it’s more of a cottage. Nestled in the woods near the village of Kilnaloe, it stands a little rough and ready, surrounded by hedge plants gone wild, birch trees far taller than the house itself, ivy wrapping around the doorframe like a green embrace. It’s grey stone, and would look a bit forbidding if not for the shiny yellow door, the cheerful square windows, the red bricks squaring off the corners. The leaded roof; the squat chimney. It peers from between the trees like a curious animal, not particularly frightened of us, like it knows it’s stronger than us.

“Is it what you thought?” Raleigh has pulled up on the leafy patch by the door, a place I can imagine parking. He’s smiling across the car at me.

“Absolutely,” I breathe, my hands fisted in the material of my shirt so as not to do something really stupid, like flail and whack Raleigh in the face. “It looks just like the pictures!”

He laughs softly. “I can give you your key now, if you’d like. You can ring me if you want a lift into town proper - I know you didn’t get that much notice, and if you want to sort something out at the car dealership -”

“I’ll ring you,” I promise. I’ve google-mapped it, and the walk from the cottage into Kilnaloe is just less than an hour, doable if I fancy killing time. Raleigh has already done so much for me, from the pickup at the airport to the endless emails and negotiating on my behalf, and I fancy the idea of a walk through the place I intend to stay in, and finally make home.

“So you want the keys now?”

“If you don’t mind.”

Raleigh gets out of the car and slams the door, and I follow suit, my brown boots crunching the brown leaves into the brown mud, different shades convalescing into one. “Miss Delilah Hale,” he says, jokingly sincere, “It is my utmost pleasure that I, Joshua Raleigh, should present to you the keys of your new estate. My deepest wish is for you to enjoy it as the occupants of the mists of time did before you-”

I hold my hand out, palm up, smiling. “Thanks for the speech.”

When he drops the keys into my hand, already keyringed with a little Raleigh & Simpson Estates fob, I shake them to hear the jingle. “Call me Lilah,” I add, as I’ve already had to remind him once at the airport. “Please.”

“Lilah, then,” he says. “Do you want me to show you around? Check everything is in order? The movers came a bit earlier than we thought, but we got the boxes in all right and there’s no damp in the house.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” I assure him, and although he seems eager to help me I can’t help but notice the way he shifts from foot to foot. It’s been a three hour drive from Dublin, and he must have been up ridiculously early to make the drive on time and collect me. “I can show myself around just fine if you want to go home-”

“But ring me-”

“And I’ll ring you if I need anything,” I finish. “Thank you.”

“You have my number?”

“I have your number,” I wave my phone at him. Joshua Raleigh New House is how he’s saved in my contacts, although there isn’t anyone else I could confuse him with, what with the embarrassingly short length of the list of numbers. “Can I grab my-?”

“Oh, yeah!”

He lifts out my travelling case from his boot, setting it gently in the frosted mud, the airport stickers already peeling and fraying from the curled handle. “Grand?”

“I’ll ring you,” I say again, and he laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his short-shorn hair. In the three hours we’ve spoken in person, he’s come across as friendly to the extreme, careful and wary, and pleased to have finally met me.

The sound of his car is quick to fade through the woods when he’s finally reassured enough to leave, the trees swallowing the noise whole with their rustling, smoothing it over like disturbed dirt after a funeral. Back to silence. Not quite - back to the noise of the woods, and the trees, growing and whispering and settling in their own pace, taking no notice of me or my case or the cottage or the keys, a world so removed they couldn’t care less. It’s peaceful.

It’s exactly what I asked for.

Inside the cottage is just like the pictures I made Raleigh take for me, countless angles and times of day and positions of furniture and so on, from the first time I saw the cottage on his website until just a few weeks before my plane landed in Dublin. Part of the charm was - is - that it comes furnished, and I don’t have to mess around with visits to Ikea and DFS and Argos and the Salvation Army looking for discarded chairs and ugly tables and stupid novelty light fixtures to turn something bare into a home, something I know I don’t have the energy for.

So. The cottage. Inside the door I kick off my boots, setting them under the little hall table, a place where a landline phone sits off its hook, a little sticky notepad rests dust-covered and half-used, and a mirror hangs over, framed in silver wiring and hardly spotting at all. It’s too dusty to properly see through, though, and I wipe my finger on the surface: Lilah, I write, like a child breathing on a bus window to draw pictures on a cold morning. Through the lettering I see only glimpses of myself; the orange scarf I’m wearing, the red cold of the tip of my nose, the wisps of reddish-brown escaping from the ponytail I tied my hair in this morning.

I move further in.

Raleigh is right, my moving boxes have arrived before me; they’re strewn halfway up the carpeted stairs, all across the hall, and spill into the two doors on the bottom floor as well. I never thought I had that many things until I had to pack them all away, silly useless collections that come from having been alive for a decade or three, things I couldn’t get rid of. Books and toys and clothes and clutter.

I pop my head into the dark kitchen, cast my eyes over the oak table, the few chairs scattered around the flagstone floor, the oil cooker nestled in the hearth, ash turned to rock there from years of abandonment. Familiar to me from Raleigh -

As is the other room on the ground floor, a large wooden-floored living room with seventies sofas spread out in front of the empty fireplace, paintings of muddy cows hanging on the wall, embroidered home samplers framed in their messy hoops, hung on withering strings. Now I’m excited to explore, and now I know I’m properly alone -

Up the stairs. They creak comfortingly under my socks. Bedroom, bathroom, tiny study, a little storage space for the clutter. Spiders move away from my invasion, my rude disturbance into their home, and I do my best not to knock them from their spaces. There’s a bed, a heavy queen nestled in the crook of the far wall, where the roof slopes most severely, and I’ll need to get sheets and a proper duvet before I can sleep there tonight. Chest of drawers, wardrobe, mirror, carpeted floor, another fireplace with the grate hooked high against the empty space. A bookshelf mostly empty.

The study is much the same, a sturdy oak desk under a window that gives me a view of the trees outside. Branches tap at the glass, seeking entry. A bookshelf, a few paintings, dark wooden floorboards. It’s pretty and airy all the same, the wallpaper yellow with a pattern of faded pink roses, delightfully seventies.

Although none of it is really new to me, what with Raleigh’s pictures, it’s enough to make me smile happily, spread my hands over the windowsill burdened with bluebottle corpses. At last I’m here - here to stay.

__________

so that’s the intro! i’m doing something completely new to me, which is original fiction in first person with a female main character... so i have to keep on brand in the big things. ireland, celtic gods, the woods, you know the drill. i had a lot of fun writing delilah and though she’s a little stiff in these first few parts, she comes into her own! joshua raleigh is also a cool dude. i hope you enjoyed this little excerpt!

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#nano19 #writeblr #tumblr writers #writing #lgbt fiction #self #farmer lesbians

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dailytomlinson · 6 years ago

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Louis Tomlinson may be one-fifth of one of the biggest boybands in the world, but there's so much more to know about the singer than the fact he was in One Direction. Now that he's getting on with his solo music career - AND just dropped his amazing new single 'Two Of Us', Louis is a major household name across the world.

Louis William Tomlinson was born on Christmas Eve in 1991, making him 27-years-old at the time of writing. Louis is the oldest member of One Direction, being 13 months older than second eldest Zayn Malik.

Louis Tomlinson's star sign is Capricorn. Apparently, typical Capricorns live by the motto, ‘Slow, steady and win the race.’ Where is Louis Tomlinson from? Louis was brought up in Doncaster, South Yorkshire. Other famous people who hail from the town include Jeremy Clarkson, Kevin Keegan and Brian Blessed! Louis Tomlinson on The X Factor Louis first auditioned for The X Factor in 2009 but didn't get through the producer's audition, but that made him more determined to return in 2010 as a solo artist at the age of 19. He then met his future bandmate Harry Styles in the toilets at The X Factor auditions in Manchester.Although he made it through to bootcamp after singing a version of Plain White T’s ‘Hey There Delilah’ and getting a clean sweep of yeses from the judges, he wasn't able to progress as a solo artist.However, judge Nicole Scherzinger suggested that he go through in a group with some other rejected solo boys, and he was put together with Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne and Harry Styles. They went through to Judges' Houses, singing an acoustic version of 'Torn' by Natalie Imbruglia with Simon Cowell himself commenting that the group "were confident, fun, like a gang of friends and kind of fearless as well."They were Simon's last act standing on the series, but finished in third place behind Matt Cardle and Rebecca Ferguson.When One Direction formed, Louis’s big ambition was to go "straight to the top." Proof that dreams come true! He also once said that if he could give anyone a tip when auditioning for The X Factor it would be "just be yourself and really try and get your personality through in your song choice and interview." Although Louis has returned to The X Factor as a performer, he took part in the show in 2018 as part of a brand new line-up alongside Robbie Williams - coincidentally, someone who Louis once called his 'man crush'.He also once said that Robbie is his biggest role model, telling KISS, "I’ve got a massive musical icon and that’s Robbie Williams. We actually got to sing with him on The X Factor and it was absolutely amazing." Louis Tomlinson in One Direction After coming third on The X Factor, the boys were signed to Simon Cowell's label Syco in a reported £2 million contract and immediately started working on their debut album. They took part in The X Factor Live Tour in 2011, and released their debut single 'What Makes You Beautiful' in September that year, which debuted at Number 1.The debut album 'Up All Night' was released in November 2011, and Louis’s favourite track on ‘Up All Night’ is the Ed Sheeran-penned track ‘Moments’. The track appears on the deluxe version of the record.They released second album 'Take Me Home' exactly one year later. Their documentary and concert film One Direction: This Is Us was released in August 2013 and grossed $68.5 million worldwide.Third album 'Midnight Memories' was released in November 2013, and fourth album 'Four' came out in November 2014. Just prior to the release of their fifth album 'Made in the A.M.' in November 2015, the band announced in August that they would be taking a hiatus, following the departure of Zayn Malik in March.

What was Louis Tomlinson like in One Direction?

According to his bandmates, Louis has the smelliest feet in One Direction! Niall once said, "Louis wears plimsolls with no socks so his feet get very sweaty and the sweat is captured. If we are on a bus or something and he takes them off we all pretty much start gagging." Despite having smelly feet, Louis is a big fan of shoes! His favourite types are chinos and Toms and he's a size 10.

Louis also revealed in an interview with us that Niall is the one person in the world he would swap bodies with, "I’ll go close to home Niall Horan, he doesn’t worry about anything in the world, Irish accent I’m not too bad I spend a lot of time with Niall."

Louis was given a telling off by police when filming the ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ video Los Angeles in July 2011 for his erratic driving. Afterwards, he explained, "I got pulled over by the US police. They thought I was all over the place. The officer goes, 'Listen, man, I can shut this thing down if you carry on driving like this. You're driving like a maniac.' And I was like, 'Man, put the gun down. I don't want no trouble.'"

He also says that he and his 1D bandmates are like brothers. Admitting that they occasionally bickered in the band, Louis told Digital Spy, "Because we're around each other so often it's like arguing with your siblings. You fall out with them, go away and have a bit of a paddy, then come back and get over it."

Louis once said that he likes snuggling up in bed with one of the One Directioners... HARRY! He said, "A few weeks ago I made a cup of tea, then went and got in bed with Harry and we watched a show called something like The Top 50 Boybands Of All Time." Nice!

Louis has approximately 1 minute and 30 seconds of solos on ‘Up All Night’ – the second least behind Niall Horan. Louis says he’ll "never get used to" the adoration he receives from fans. He once said, "At the end of the day we’re doing something that we really love and to be appreciated for that is really nice."

Louis hates rumours, especially when they involve Harry and himself. In a Tumblr interview he explained, "Me and Harry are best friends, people look into our every move. It is actually affecting the way me and Harry are in public, We want to joke around but there seems to be a different rumour every time we do anything."

Louis told us the one thing he misses about being in One Direction, "Probably touring, that’s why I’m excited to perform today and excited to get out and spent time touring the world as that’s probably the best thing about being an artist."

Louis Tomlinson's new music

After his successful solo performance on The X Factor in 2018, Louis delighted his fans in March when he dropped his amazing new single 'Two Of Us'.

The song, which is adored by fans, is a tribute to Louis' late mum Johannah Deakin. Johannah left behind seven children, including Louis, at the end of 2016, when she lost her battle with an aggressive form of leukaemia at the age of just 42.

Louis' track 'Two Of Us' features the lyrics, 'I know you'll be looking down/Swear I'm gonna make you proud/I'll be living one life for the two of us.'

The heartwarming music video saw Louis team up with 83-year-old Richard Green to complete a bucket list of adventures that he'd been trying to complete after losing his wife Pat in December 2016 - the same month Louis tragically lost his mother, Johannah Deakin.

Thanks to the success of the video, Louis has helped to raise a whopping £10,000 for the Bluebell Wood Children's Hospice with the music video, which encourages fans to donate to the Sheffield-base charity in a call to action on his music video, which also promotes the Alzheimer's Society and Cancer Research UK.

He told us about the video, "He is, honestly, one the most amazing men I’ve ever met. Probably the most amazing man. I was so in awe of him, you know. Eighty-four, and to have that outlook on life. He was an amazing guy. Really funny as well.

"Just his outlook in general was what I took from that whole experience. You know, he recently had lost his wife but his outlook was so positive and a lot of people are entitled to dwell and be sad about those kind of things. But he was the exact opposite. He was so upbeat, so fun, and up for anything."

Louis Tomlinson's family

Louis' parents are Johannah Deakin and Troy Austin. In 2011, his mum Johannah and stepdad Mark split up and he took on his stepfather Mark Tomlinson’s surname. Speaking about his mum, Louis said, "It must be so much harder for her because I’m living this fantastic life and being so busy every day whereas she’s still in the old life I was in but without me... It must be really difficult for her not to get upset."

Johannah sadly passed away in 2016, and Louis paid tribute to his mum on the anniversaryof her passing.

Louis was incredibly close with his mum, and she once told Sugarscape that Louis is a giver and not a taker. In fact, there’s nothing he enjoys more than giving his friends and family presents, "He’s not a materialistic person himself, but he likes to give people things. He spoils me and the girls and he's happiest doing that."

He also has five younger half-sisters - one on his father's side (Georgia), and four on his mother's side (Charlotte, Félicité, and twins Daisy and Phoebe). Sadly, it was announced in March 2019 that Louis' sister Félicité tragically passed away after suffering a suspected cardiac arrest, at the age of just 18.

Just days after the release of his brand new single 'Two Of Us' in memory of his late mum, Louis' 18-year-old sister Félicité Tomlinson tragically died after she suffered a cardiac arrest.

A Metropolitan Police spokesperson confirmed, "Police were called by London Ambulance Service at 12.52pm on Wednesday, March 13 to a residential address in SW5 following reports of a female in cardiac arrest. At this stage the death is being treated as unexplained. A post-mortem examination will take place in due course. Enquiries continue."

What did Louis Tomlinson do before The X Factor?

Louis had a number of part-time jobs before The X Factor, including working at a local cinema and as a hospitality waiter at Doncaster Rovers Football Club. When he was younger, Louis wanted to work on a farm.

He also once revealed that if he wasn’t a multi-million selling pop megastar, he reckons he’d be training to be a drama teacher.

Where did Louis Tomlinson go to school?

When he first auditioned for The X Factor, Louis was a sixth form student at Hall Cross School in Doncaster. Louis also attended The Hayfield School in Doncaster, but dropped out when he failed his first year of A-levels.

Has Louis Tomlinson ever acted?

When he was just 11-years-old, Louis had a role as an extra on ITV drama Fat Friends. His newborn sisters Daisy and Phoebe starred as babies on the show. Spurred on by his appearance on Fat Friends, Louis attended acting school in his spare time and eventually had small parts in 2006 ITV drama If I Had You! and Waterloo Road.

As a student, Louis played the lead role of Danny Zuko in a high school production of Grease. He says playing the part gave him the confidence to audition for The X Factor.

Does Louis Tomlinson have hearing problems?

Louis suffers from a ringing noise in his right ear. Although yet to be officially diagnosed it’s thought it could be tinnitus which can lead to deafness if untreated. He once said, "I am going slightly deaf in my right ear. It’s tinnitus, something like that," before joking that it was because of screaming fans.

Is Louis Tomlinson good at cooking?

Louis admits he’s a really bad cook. Speaking to us in May 2019, Louis admitted that whilst he's very romantic, he's not great in the kitchen! "I am a horrific cook, a very, very bad cook. I give it a go, you know what I mean, I’ll try.

Despite his lack of skills, he appeared alongside Harry in a cooking segment on This Morning in September 2011.

Can Louis Tomlinson play any musical instruments?

When he was 14, Louis played lead guitar in a band called The Rogue with his schoolmates.

Louis is also pretty decent on the piano and he loves to play ‘Mr Brightside’ by The Killers. Louis is a big fan of Las Vegas rockers The Killers. After seeing them perform at V Festival, he tweeted, 'Watching Mr Brightside live last night was unbelievable. LOVED The Killers!!'

Unfortunately, Louis was fined £80 for speeding on the way to V Festival in 2012. It’s reported that he was going 48mph in a 40mph zone, which means that he may also have had three points on his licence. Ouch!

What are Louis Tomlinson's favourite TV shows?

His favourite TV shows are Misfits and One Tree Hill. In a recent interview with us, Louis revealed that he also loves Westworld and Black Mirror.

Louis Tomlinson's other favourite things

Louis once said that he is a big fan of girls who eat carrots.

The two traits Louis looks for in a girl are confidence and a good sense of humour.

If Louis had a superpower, he would want to be able to fly.

Louis’s favourite band is The Fray, and his favourite song of all time is ‘Look After You’ by The Fray.

Louis’s favourite colour is dark red.

He once said that if he could visit any planet it would be... Narnia. Erm, it’s a fictional place Louis!!

Apparently, Louis said that if a movie was made about his life, he’d like Leonardo DiCaprio to play him.

Just like Zayn and Harry, Louis supports Manchester United Football Club.

One of Louis's favourite mottos is, "Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain."

Louis loves Marmite and has big dollops of it on his toast.

Louis’s celebrity crush is Natalie Portman.

Louis is an avid fan of surfing. In fact, he loves the beach so much he says he’d like to get married on one.

Louis once said his favourite country is France.

Other Louis Tomlinson facts

A man who works in the music industry once tried to have a snog with Louis! "It was a press guy.... he just started going in for a kiss!" said Louis.

Louis once owned a Porsche Boxster and sold it on eBay in 2012 for £30,000.

Louis would love to copy Michael Jackson and have a pet monkey. He said, "I'd like to adopt a chimpanzee and build an eternal friendship, that would be amazing."

Louis admits that he’s a messy person. In fact, he hasn’t met anyone who’s messier than him!

Louis’s pet hate is when people chew their food too loudly.

In August 2012, Tulisa prank called Louis during a live webchat. When Louis answered she spoke to him in a Donald Duck voice in front of thousands of viewers. The N-Dubz star tweeted afterwards, 'soz babe we had 2 get ya! Thanks 4 being a laugh n entertaining us!'

Louis is prone to sleepwalking and once tried to get into Niall’s bed!

Louis is a big fan of silly string! He’s sprayed it on stage at gigs, press conferences and even at a security guard who refused to let him speak to fans.

Louis loves to party! He once told TOTP magazine, "To be honest, I’m sure the majority of 20-year-olds go out and party. I’m not going to feel oppressed."

It takes over 30 minutes for Louis to get his hair ready in the morning.

Apparently, Louis has revealed that his least favourite food is baked beans.

Louis once said that, if he was Simon Cowell for the day, he says he’d go on a date with Susan Boyle.

#planet radio #kiss fm uk #press #080519 #louis tomlinson #unwanted question but nothing about love life

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soundsandnoises · 6 years ago

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Slam Dunk Festival 2019: SOUTH, Hatfield Park (26/05/2019)

I was extremely anxious about this one. I was usually going to the one in Midlands, knew the site inside out. Knew how to get to the festival, where to stay, etc. Made it easier to focus on music. This year I worried about so many things, like if I bought right ticket to right Hatfield (can't count the amount of times I actually checked maps, infos and trains, still wasn't enough). I'm not a fan of big train stations and King's Cross ain't a small nor easy for first, second and third timers. It can be quite overwhelming, but what's the fun in it when it's simple, right? Then there was a question of – what gate leads to festival site. Or where to buy a coffee - that one was left unanswered, Sunday morning and relatively small train station (for a change) didn't help.

And then there was... waiting. Before the main gate opens, before the actual festival site opens... Longest three hours full of wondering, while people gathered in a constant flow in space between wristband exchange and gates, green grass was replaced by black blur of people.

But, but... As soon as it opened and I could start realizing my plan: get to the chosen stage, see the first artist, enjoy. I could relax. And that was the leit motiv of this day (maybe except the part where I felt like thirst in Sprite commercial during Busted intense and punk as fuck set when I was fighting for survival, but to be fair, even then I felt so alive and... happy).

I was in for a treat after all and it started perfectly with William Ryan Key opening on Marshall Stage. I would love to hear his material, but I understand his choice to play Yellowcard's songs. Fans surely appreciated the acoustic nostalgia floating through surprisingly sunny morning/midday. There was a bit of a technical hiccup at the beginning, but other than that things ran smoothly.

Milk Teeth took over on the adjacent Dickies Stage. Faster. Louder. Wake up Slam Dunk. Sunny day or not a mix of moody grunge and raw punk energy should do that to you. Make the crowd sit down just to make them ask “Why the fuck are we sitting down?!” seconds later. It's a rock show! But clearly Milk Teeth captivated the audience enough to pull pranks like this.

Hot Milk didn't have easy on The Club Key Stage, 'cause people started to gather for Busted and tent was packed, yet their Left side was in for a fun gig and soon enough young rockers won hearts over with their 'non compromise, everyone's invited attitude'. They were all in, mixing pop, punk and lacing it with electronic samples – nothing better to make you bounce, dance and have a good time.

Quite right warm up for Busted on the Right side of the The Key Club Stage. The tension, the anticipation was hanging thick and heavy over people's heads. The excitement exploded with joyous scream when boys appeared onstage. Boy, I didn't expect the madness. My body wasn't mine for most of the gig, pushed and shoved in random directions as the crowd waved under the tide of moshing, crowdsurfing and bouncing quite randomly. But it was strangely beautiful, the mad joy of people screaming out the lyrics. This was absolutely fabulous surprise act (clearly the cat was out of the bag on Saturday when it turned out that mysterious Y3K was in fact Busted). Slam Dunk did slam.

Then I've had a bit of a change of the scenery with As It Is on the main stage (Monster Energy Stage). I understand the appeal, 'cause it was truly engaging performance. Powerful speeches, truly humble spirit and very positive attitude (they even turned smashing an acoustic guitar into a good deed; after the hardcore version of the song, instead of acoustic one as they teased before guitar was obliterated, Patty [Walters, singer] explained that they'd donate the pieces for a charitable cause). Oh, and show worth a slot at the main stage – emotional, catchy, monumental at times, intimate.

Waterparks brought the green (backdrop, Awsten's hair, security outerwear) and crazy (emanating from both band and extremely devoted fans). Crazy in the best kind of way, the one you lose yourself in the music, the one that makes you happy, the one that courses through every inch of your body. Add funny banters and Awsten's cheeky charisma. The response from green clothed fans was overwhelming to say the least. Strong unison singing every word, mad screams and constant wave of crowdsurfers. What a show.

Simple Plan took over the refreshing and pop rock vibe taking the crowd to the beach and sunny holidays with their beach balls flying over the crowd and summer hits' tunes. Canadian rockers made people jump, yell shamelessly 'dick', sing along. Nostalgic mood mixed with excited screams, they wouldn't be themselves if they didn't joke around (basically rock and comedy show in a price of one). Their youthful approach was and is always something that moves mountains and brings fans to them.

Neck Deep didn't waste a second to establish their rule over the Monster Energy Stage after Simple Plan. Faster, louder, reach to the punk rock roots, start that mosh pit, oh but hold that thought here's Natalia Imbruglia's 'Torn' cover for you, let's feel like it's 90s again and if you don't know it, you lived under a rock. But basically keep the energy flowing, keep it up, keep in coming.

But rock music has so many names, so Hellogoodbye (back in Marshall Stage) was a interesting change of gear, leaning towards indie, electropop and all the weird and beautiful things between them. Oh, how I danced, danced like no one was watching, my face with stupidly wide grin from the sparkling, positive energy I was coated in. Audience was advised to drink pure distilled water, distilled from potatoes (wink, wink). Basically it was a party. Or maybe the party? Well, I was glad I stumbled upon it and stayed.

Touché Amore on Dickies Stage tore the air with growl which seemed to be an appropriate reaction for heavy rain that came down. But their music must have had some magic in it, 'cause soon clouds separated and sun started lurking through them. Or maybe they just had the sunshine with them all this time and brought some from L.A.. Heavy was the music, hardcore stage presence and singer's presence, front barrier seemed to be more appropriate place to scream words than small stage that frankly couldn't contain their energy.

I wasn't even close and I could hear Lights' powerful voice echoing through The Club Key Stage. Tiny figure with flame coloured hair was ruling the stage, voice clear, loud and soulful. Her music taking the best bits from rock, pop and electronic genres was a catchy blend to dance. Her vocals are phenomenal.

One of the band's I was really looking forward to see was Plain White T's (yes, yes, they played 'Hey There Delilah', 'course the did) and I loved every minute of their show [on Marshall Stage]. Indie pop/ indie rock with bits of samples was exactly what I needed, it was my kind of show no matter the time of the day. I could enjoy the music and not worry about being hit by half empty cup with beer (although it was funny to hear the story of crowd starting the biggest moshpit to 'Hey There Delilah', 'cause the band was on stage before Metallica, to be honest it's no the first time when I hear or experience the audience going absolutely bananas to the slowest song, so the story is even funnier), move to the beat. New staff had these nice, not too much electronic touch and was pulsing with energy. But of course the older goodies hit people's hearts harder.

I've managed to catch half of the set of IDKHow on The Key Club Stage Left I'm glad I did, 'cause boys sassiness must be legendary by now. The cheek, the charisma, the silliness acted out with serious faces, the instant bond with adoring crowd makes it all so special. Rhythm section and samples, bit of 80s synth tone, bit of 90s pop and sharp lyrics make their show something to talk about. Just like the acoustic set they played on the top of The Fearless Arms (bar), I'd assume sometime around their time in signing tent and because why not. Got to enjoy that one from the distance, the kind of surprise you could compare to sugar rush every kid gets when eating a candy floss.

From sweet tunes I switched to heavy metal brought by Bullet for My Valentine. Jägermeister Stage's tent was coming off the seams with gathered crowd, when it seemed it was loaded to its ends more people were getting in and immersing in roaring guitars and drums going faster and faster. Crowd gathered there was in for a wild ride.

NOFX headlining on Punk in Drublic Stage and bringing whole bunch of punk rock bands that they’re on tour with) were the living proof that punk's not dead and it's not going anywhere. Talking about snots, cum, walking on the thin line and reigniting the punk rock spirit with each song they were hosting a celebration, party mood was lit up. Punk and ska and a setting sun.

Big surprise, very good surprise was All Time Low's show to me (Monster Energy Stage). There were these jokes, on the borderline of pervert (oh, I've heard so many stories them boys were so inappropriate, but to be fair they never said they were playing songs for children), but the vibe - oh it was magnificent. It was great pop punk, pop rock show and people were literally invited, so it became a dance off onstage. The band was grateful for their fans, entertaining, connecting with their fans and gave fantastic show. Also, brand new song had its debut at Slam Dunk's stage – 'Getaway Green'. What a night.

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truthbeetoldmedia · 6 years ago

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The 100 6x05 "The Gospel of Josephine" Review

Y’all breathing okay? I think there were a few times when I held my breath this episode and boy howdy! I’m glad The 100 can still give me those moments. Now let’s dive right in to the episode:

Bonjour Josephine!

Last week we got a tiny bite of Josephine. Tonight we got the whole "gâteau opéra”, emphasis on “opera”, for the story of the Primes seems to be a long and bloody Shakespearean affair on an alien moon. Jaux!Clarke (see what I did there?) has barely fired up her silicone memories before she dispatches poor Kaylee with a cheese knife. Apparently Kaylee assisted, or at least didn’t prevent, Josephine’s last host body’s “death”, and she’s been on ice for six years waiting for a new host to be born and grow up. (Which we learn later is because they need a fully developed over-21 adult brain to host an adult’s memory chip, as they overload and kill child hosts. Glad we don’t have to see how they know that.)

Apparently Russell and Simone “jumped line” to bring back Josephine so I’m assuming it’s setup like an organ donor list, except people wait actual decades to talk to their loved ones again. The price of eternal life, eh? Also I can bet there will be some VERY unhappy Primes once they find out Russell and Simone cut line to get their daughter back amongst the living. Josephine seems to be hardened by her long life, and thinks very pragmatically and cold. She has successfully “other-ed” everyone except her loved ones...which is not comforting but also, I can’t help but think the gang would be very happy to have old Clarke back when they get a taste of real cold indifference from Jaux!Clarke.

Her “parents” give her time to adjust and we see Jaux!Clarke painting while dancing to French rap — a sentence I never thought I’d type for a sci-fi show review. She’s of course been given a task: find out how many nightbloods, aka hosts, our Space Popsicles have (since we really can’t call our gang the 100 or the delinquents anymore I’ve decided to call them this, fight me) to keep the Primes from becoming extinct. How hard can it possibly be to pretend to be Clarke right? All I thought was give Bellamy Blake and Jordan Green 10 minutes alone with her and she will figure that out real quick. (Also I was SO pleased to discover I was correct with guessing those two!)

Space Popsicle™️ Fam finds skeletons in the closet!

Jaux!Clarke meets up with Bellamy, Jordan, Gaia and the rest of the SpacePops™️ Fam and starts acting weird immediately. (Subtle at first but someone forgot to check if she knew Trig ha!) She dodges her first bullet and finds Abby to try and find out how many nightbloods might be on the main ship, only to hear herself called a monster and have Abby compare her book to the Eugenics books of our time. I enjoyed seeing her squirm at Abby’s assessment of her book, though Abby doesn’t have a lot of room to judge...

When Abby questions why her left-handed daughter is writing with her right hand, Jaux!Clarke needs to find a reason to exit stage left and she sees Bellamy and Murphy looking for Jordan and follows them. They find Jordan in the spooky science closet full of skeletons (subtle the Primes are not) and Bellamy is of course in full Dad mode™️, asking Jordan what the heck he’s doing. Jordan delivers quite possibly my favorite line of the season, thus far:

“What you would’ve done, The you before Praimfaya, anyway. Heart over head. That was always my favorite Bellamy.”

Monty and Harper's son, ladies and gentlemen!! Y’all I nearly jumped to my feet and clapped! Because that Bellamy is also my favorite Bellamy! And this whole season is a little odd feeling to me because Bellamy already feels like he’s been body snatched. Let’s hope this wonderful line delivered with perfection by the fabulous Shannon Kook is a sign we will get some old “I say, screw fear. I’m telling my own damn story” Bellamy Blake back this year! (Can I get an amen!)

Back to the science skeleton closet:

Jaux!Clarke Tries and fails to lure team SpacePops™️ out but Jordan and Gaia keep digging around and they end up watching the first “successful” upload of Josephine by Gabriel and her now very old looking father (og body) Russell. We also learned it took 25 years for them to develop and perfect the AI tech and lord knows how many corpses to get there.

We don’t know yet but I have a feeling we can guess the “old man” is Gabriel and “the Children of Gabriel” are followers against the “Primes ways” and are a result of him regretting playing God to get Josephine back and exiling himself once Josephine and fam got a little to unhinged about “hosts” and “nightblood”, leading others to follow his example. After Jaux!Clarke calls Murphy “John” and says a few other strange things, Bellamy asks to speak to her alone and, I’m just saying, if you watch this scene you see that Bellamy already KNoWS this isn’t “normal” Clarke. He isn’t sure what’s wrong yet, but he knows enough to test her and he can tell she can’t really understand what he’s saying in Trig! So he pulls a signature “Bellamy” move and yanks her back by the throat and starts asking questions because he’s now officially in panic mode —

BUT alas! She had a syringe of that lovely paralytic on hand just in case and the last thing we see in this scene is the horrible realization in Bellamy’s eyes as he lies helplessly paralyzed on the ground: there is a cold stranger behind his best friend’s beautiful blue eyes...and he cannot process his fear and loss fast enough. Welcome back heart over head Bellamy, we’ve missed you!!

Cut to Jaux!Clarke finding Murphy in the bar and revealing her true identity and confessing “Clarke is dead. My parents killed her” (listen I don’t buy it kids) and offering our favorite morally questionable cockroach something he might not be able to pass up: eternal life. Given his recent brush with death and sudden fear of hell….oh boy! It’s gonna take him a minute to realize he should help his friends, I just hope he realizes that before he’s made a full deal with the devil.

Diyoza and the Brat

This pair is a surprising team up, but if I have to suffer through Octavia’s “redemption” they couldn’t have picked a better reward than my favorite Season 5 addition (besides sweet Shaw! I’m still bitter about that guys) DIYOZA! Sassy, amazing fighter, the universe’s longest known pregnant lady. I could watch an entire show about her. (Also Ivana Milicevic is a dream in this role.) She’s the gift that keeps on giving, cool as a cucumber while stuck in space quicksand as Octavia is about to go under because she cannot be still for one second. Probably because if Octavia’s quiet she’ll think and with that comes dark thoughts: how she failed as a leader, how she was willing to abuse, torture and maybe even kill her brother, how her brother, the one person who she thought would always love her through her greatest faults, finally couldn’t take anymore and rejected her. She doesn’t have anything left to lose. Rock bottom meet Octavia Blake, Octavia Blake meet rock bottom.

Now I know I sound harsh but after Season 4 I was beyond seeing her as anything but a villain. I know she is on her way to redemption, but I’m glad they are giving her the long way through the dirt and mud, letting her soak in the cage of her own making a while. And giving us the wonderful Diyoza to lighten the mood. I am all for unsuspecting road trip buddies in shows (Arya and the Hound anyone?) but unfortunately so far all Octavia’s done is try to murder people, throw tantrums, and sulk. Oh well, at least Diyoza is getting in some practice for when she finally gets to have her 200-year-old baby! Really though bless her heart, she deserves some kind of sainthood for this.

Mount Weather + City of Light + Commander worship, shaken not stirred

I actually dig the intersecting of all the “bad guy” storylines into one big villain origin story wearing Clarke’s face. If nothing else it’s a poetic rehash of all the previous seasons, but refreshing enough to not seem stale...for the most part. I grow tired of the Flame/commander story and miss the more simple “teens surviving the unknown my learning to depend and care for each other” story of the first few seasons. BUT considering Season 5’s underwhelming last half, if there is one thing I can say about Season 6 of The 100...it’s not boring! And for a show that sometimes paces the plot too fast I was actually okay with that this time around! I did not want it to take three episodes for our fave family of 150 year old space popsicles to discover Clarke is “dead”. Also I am so glad it was the magic duo of Bellamy and Jordan that made the realization first.

Final thoughts

Eliza Taylor has grown so much as an actress over the seasons! She looks like she had so much fun playing Jaux!Clarke and she gave her such a different “spirit” than our usual worried and sometimes snarky but mostly serious Clarke Griffin. Just the way her eyes dance lets you know it’s not “real Clarke”.

I neglected to mention the importance of Jordan knowing “Delilah” before her change to Priya VII, so his spidey senses also go off around Clarke because he knows what a person who just got body snatched acts like! When he took “Delilah” the flowers I was like my poor son.

This episode was great because the focus was tighter and had fewer characters to keep up with! (Listen I love ensemble casts but they have not given Raven a strong independent storyline since Season 4, and I love Emori but she doesn’t really have a lot to do at the moment either, as for Echo...why she was made a main character when Harper was right there all those seasons? I’ll never know.) All that to say, I like when they break up the cast a bit and just focus on a few at a time to really get that interpersonal development between characters. That used to be the bread and butter of this show. Don’t get me wrong, I still love The 100 and find it unique and fun and twisty and exhilarating and at times beautifully heartbreaking.

(Episodes 1x05, 1x07, 1x13, 2x15, 2x16, 4x13 and 5x13 are perfect examples of this.)

But I do yearn for those slower, deeper days of, say, a boy and a girl grappling with the moral quandary of torturing a stranger tied up in the cockpit of a crashed spaceship to save a dying friend. Sometimes bigger and shiner isn’t always better. But no matter how this season goes, The 100 is still one of my favorite TV shows ever, and deserves a spot up there with a lot of other great sci-fi dramas of the past two decades.

As of now all I need to know is: where the heck is Bellamy Blake and is he okay?!

Gina’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

The 100 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

#The 100 #The Gospel of Josephine

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