#i really dont like the manga ending explanation like oh it was the magical power of the darkness that made him be a weird boy

[emzmuu]

“Or Are You On My Side?”

Betrayal, Choices, & Blame

— an analysis | theory

under the cut!

From a young age, Kazutora has been conditioned to think in black and white. Having to choose which parents to side with, he wasn’t allowed to have both, neither, nor to find the grey area within. He was given no other choices than what was picked for him, an illusion of choice. The fight between his mother and father involved him, a bystander to their conflict, to become a victim to their neglectfulness. He felt hurt and betrayed by how they treated him or rather, their lack of treatment towards him. Kazutora even describes his home as cold and never a warm environment. This mindset grows up with him— always popping up in his thoughts when interacting with others.

He asks the questions, who will betray me next? Who can hurt me next?

This is the start of a code he creates for himself, a mantra repeated through his thoughts as he develops, but never reversed as he doesn't reflect within himself.

As a victim between the fights and abuse, he carries that mentality with him growing up; as a defensive approach to others. With Kazutora, the thought of betrayal festered. Of others having potential to hurt him. He was suffering with these thoughts, never letting others in. With this fear buried in his mind, he still attempted to reach out for friends with hope that things would be better with them compared to his parents. And they were, for a time.

For Kazutora’s birthday, his friends take him to an arcade to have fun, only to make him pay for it instead. It’s mentioned that this happens often when his friend Junpeke apologizes for always asking him to pay. Kazutora’s mood turns slightly depressed when reminded of that fact just after saying how much he likes being with them, and how they help him forget his anxiety. On the inside, he knows the truth but won’t admit that he’s being used until pushed by someone else.

That's where Baji comes in, who he meets for the first time. He points out the fault within the group, that they don’t see Kazutora as a friend but as a money tree instead. That they only saw him as something— someone— to be used when it helped them out. They ran away leaving Kazutora alone to fend for himself. Again, he was the one being hurt by those around him.

After fighting with Baji on his own, in the end he admits that he has always seen himself as a money tree as well— disappointed that he’s been betrayed by them and left behind, even though he was aware it was bound to happen— he wanted to believe, but his hopes were betrayed.

“Having friends isn’t about who takes advantage. From now and onwards, you and I are... Friends.” - Baji  

After finding out it was Kazutora’s birthday, Baji goes ahead to make up for the sorry excuse of friends and celebration he had. He declares himself as Kazutora’s friend, goes to burn a car together, encourages Kazutora to beat up Junpeke to feel better, gives him a piercing for the earring, and later introduces Kazutora to the rest of his friends; the future founding members of Toman. 

During all this, the side story shows how Baji pulled Kazutora along and made choices for him so he wouldn’t have to, and helped encourage Kazutora to act how he wanted, even if they were bad choices. To be free from the confines he made himself and to become more confident with what he wants to do. 

One day on a ride, Kazutora gets lost in his memories— of his father telling him to be thankful to whoever made him live without inconvenience. The father refers to himself here but to Kazutora, the one he is most thankful towards and respects is Baji. While the one that reminds him of his father is Mikey with his arrogance, inconsiderate of others feelings, and how it feels like he looks down on others. To be gazed down on like an ant. 

He runs into his father again who traumatizes him and is rescued by Mikey, who declares himself as Kazutora’s friend. In this instance, there’s a drastic comparison in how others choose to be Kazutora’s friend.

Junpeke only said it himself when it was convenient for him, but Mikey said it when it would inconvenience him and get him in trouble.

Still, after the events, Kazutora goes to cut himself off from them; a way to ensure he will never be hurt or to involve them with his own troubles.

He goes to distance himself from them as he learns that friends can betray him too, not just his own parents. Kazutora thinks it's best to deal with it all on his own and to not inconvenience/burden others. He keeps them at a distance, to not let them in. That way he can never be hurt.

"People will always betray anyone. Be it father, mother, or friends. Every single one of them are idiots." - Kazutora

From that point on, Kazutora's thoughts changed from,"The only one who will never betray me are my friends." To, "People can betray anyone." His fear has been confirmed, and that mantra begins to haunt him.

Kazutora reflects on this, he considered his friend Junpeke a betrayer, but never considered how his actions at retaliation for the first time built up to Junpeke coming back for his own revenge. Kazutora considers this as revenge for himself, yet Junpeke also sees it as revenge for Kazutora beating him up in the past. There is no grey area considered that both are in the wrong. His world is still in black and white.

What's interesting to note is also how Kazutora always looked on from a perspective that others would betray him. That he was exempt from that. He's an outsider to his own views, there's a disconnect. It was always how others would harm him and not that he could harm others, him retaliating was his own form of 'justice'. After all, he was always the victim since a young age— the decisions he makes whether he sees it as good or bad still ends up hurting him, so he remains a victim in his mindset.

He can't handle the consequences of his own actions and doesn't want to perceive himself as being able to hurt or betray friends, like how others have done unto him. Mikey eases him of this worry.

This scene itself caused a shift within Kazutora’s mind. Mikey had no idea that the power of his words took a hold within Kazutora. The words that saved him and cursed their relationship. From Mikey's perspective, it was him saying he accepted Kazutora for who he was and that they'll face his troubles together. To not keep his worries to himself and depend on one another, because they're friends. 

Everything that is Kazutora's is also Mikey's.

To Kazutora with a victim complex, Mikey was his saving grace. Kazutora placed Mikey as his as well— in a sense that all his troubles and faults would be Mikey's. Kazutora was free from burdens to act as he wanted, as Mikey would take responsibility for him and his actions.

This is what led him to blame Mikey in a very convoluted sense.

In the side stories and flashbacks, Kazutora is fine hurting and threatening others that he considers rivals and enemies— he shows no remorse. But in the panels above, he cannot accept that reality anymore, considering that he killed someone close to his friend— indirectly hurting Mikey.

He doesn't want to accept that he betrayed Mikey. He didn't want to think himself capable of hurting those close to him. 

Then he remembers.

He only remembers how Mikey said all of Kazutora's problems, thoughts, himself— would be his. Through those words, Kazutora places Mikey as his Jungian shadow. He separates that entity and all of his problems from himself onto one singular person.

For Kazutora, it was all for Mikey in the first place. It was all because of Mikey. So he should shoulder the blame for everything. Kazutora doesn't want to recognize himself as a bad person like his parents or those who hurt him.

“It’s your fault I got sent to juvie.” - Kazutora

At the Valhalla initiation, the words chosen here by Kazutora as he explains the process to Takemichi is also interesting. As this is how Kazutora viewed Mikey before— when he put him on a pedestal, only to end up hurting himself and Mikey. Idolization does more harm than good. It shows that this might be how he still perceives him as well, he wants to kill off his beliefs and Mikey, but he’s also scared of Mikey and the power he holds over him still.

“Chifuyu... What have I told you over and over? Don’t trust anybody but your friends.” - Baji

Back when Draken tells Kazutora that they're still friends, Kazutora responds with "that's what I hate about you." Baji probably told him to trust no one but his friends as well. At this point Kazutora still trusts in the fact that Baji won't 'betray' him— so when Draken declares himself as his friend no matter the events of the past, Kazutora doesn't want to accept that fact. He wants to see in black and white, to have clear cut definitions that are easy to place as what can hurt him and what can't hurt him. 

Draken is from a group that hurt him, he can't imagine himself going back to that when events could repeat again. At this moment, the fact that there's a gray area in-between the black and white does not exist to him. He doesn't want to blend the two together when it still has the possibility to harm him, so Kazutora would rather throw it away than to trust again.

This is how Kazutora tries to translate his worldview to the others, albeit childishly. It's how he can see redemption for himself while everyone views him as a villain for killing Shinichiro. Mikey, his enemy, is a problem that he made himself. If he can get rid of that problem, a shadow that he made— then he can become his own hero, and all his problems will disappear.

With Valhalla, a gang who accepted his ideals and encouraged it— Kazutora was flying high on his emotions, feeling that it was the right thing to do, that he could be a hero and gain positive recognition from it. No one could harm him ever again, he would be too high up for others to even touch. Not even his old friends.

Baji did understand Kazutora to an extent but he didn't understand how to help him. Instead he accepted Kazutora's self-destructiveness and encouraged him, thinking that as long as Kazutora felt someone was on his side, he would be fine. But as incidents unfolded, Kazutora was too far gone into himself and needed a push to bring his mind back into clarity. 

Baji didn't want Mikey blaming Kazutora, or Kazutora ending up blaming himself for his death, so he took it upon himself and decided it would be his own fault for dying. 

After Baji dies, Kazutora realizes that he was his own enemy and that Baji never did leave him, nor did Toman. He only betrayed himself in the end, ruining and pushing away the good things he did have. Rejecting others who tried to stop or even reconnect with him.

In the end he faces the truth, and realizes that he was also part of the problem— that it's not just others that can betray him, but also himself.

"I'm staying Baji. You guys go on… This is my fault. I want to take responsibility. I won't ask you to forgive me. I'll live my whole life with Shinichiro-kun… and Baji's deaths… on my shoulders." - Kazutora

Later, after the events of Bloody Halloween, Draken goes with Takemichi to visit Kazutora in juvie and to pass on a message from Mikey.

They knew that these words were important for Kazutora to hear— for his sense of self and his feelings of belonging. He's been struggling all his life with a mindset made to protect himself. That there was no one else on his side, or that there was nothing he could ever truly be a part of— without worrying how things could end up hurting him.

"Why…?" 

He's been forgiven by Mikey and in essence of that, Toman. Kazutora though, doesn't seem to quite forgive himself yet and Draken understands some part of that. He is aware that he caused problems too and can no longer blame others for his own faults. He has no one else to share it with. 

Black and white, choosing a hero and a villain. He understands he is not completely good and that no one is completely evil, but gray.

Mikey is no longer a shadow for Kazutora to push his faults onto as he has come to accept and take responsibility for the trouble he has caused. He is back to holding onto his own burdens/shadow— for himself to handle. He just has to learn how to carry it right this time.

____________

He is used to being betrayed but he doesn't think he's capable of betraying others. When he kills Shinichiro he realizes that he betrayed Mikey, it went against all reasoning that he built up, that he could do no wrong. He broke one of the stable points in his mind and the cause of him breaking his own code, was the cause of his own betrayal —> Mikey 

TLDR::: 

In the side stories it shows that he is used to being used and having shitty friends but doesn't want to confront it bc they're all he has. 

And then in the Valhalla fight when Kisaki calls Hanma and they mention Baji betrayed them Kazutora loses it and goes to stab Baji because that was the person he least expected to betray him. Baji saved him when he was younger and made his life better and to know the person he depends and relies on broke the code? His last stable pillar? Goodbye to kazutoras mental health.