#i really don't think i need to tag everything considering i don't go into detail anywhere but still.

[avelera]

I’m curious how you think Jayce and Viktor’s romantic/sexual relationship most likely unfolded within the context of the two Arcane seasons. Do you think it would have looked something like the trajectory from Distinguished Innovators or were they just pining for each other but entirely oblivious of the other person's feelings until the very end (especially with what you said at some point about the possibility of Mel being Jayce’s first)

Hmm, so there's fanfic and canon to consider here. I think with fanfic, it can be anything the author desires.

Technically, I think the most canon-accurate romantic read of what's happening on the page is that Jayce and Viktor have feelings for each other but neither is totally aware of their feelings until Jayce has his moment staring into the fire in 2.07 when he "chooses" Viktor. Then Jayce basically confesses during their big final scene and we get a lot of hints that Viktor has felt the same way or been silently and hopelessly pining for him and now they're finally together.

But that never quite works for me because it requires a little too much "carrying the idiot ball" like... these guys spent the entire time skip between 1.03-1.04 in close quarters at all hours of the day creating Hextech together. That's before Jayce becomes the "Man of Progress" or any of that stuff and was just a regular and possibly crazy researcher who almost got banished, so it can't always be a status difference. And Jayce is so affectionate, and he falls for Mel so quickly, I really truly struggle to imagine that with no barriers to a relationship (Runeterra canonically does not have homophobia) they wouldn't have gotten together sooner if something else wasn't in the way.

So, personally, I think that they've tried to or come very close to a relationship in the past, but something prevented them from going all the way and now it's that near-miss is still there in their physicality with one another, and both might still long for it, but one of them is holding it back from happening while the other just thinks it's hopeless and I honestly think after S2 it's Viktor holding back because of his declining health, while Jayce is the one thinking he hasn't got a shot so he might as well, tragically, look elsewhere.

And I'll go into a bit more detail on why I believe that for a romantic read of these two:

(Obviously you can just go the boring old "cuz they're not romantic" but I think that's dull and reductive and presumably not why anyone is the Jayvik tag)

I also don't totally buy the idea that they hadn't figured it out yet? These are two young men in their 20s, who basically instantly connect with one another, share everything, and are openly physically affectionate with each other from the first. In my fic Distinguished Innovators there's a certain amount of shyness and the fact they're just busy to deal with but they're still young men, it's why the fic postulates a physical relationship between them that isn't exclusive or official and thus doesn't change their status as "partners".

But in fics of mine like Parley I first floated another possibility that with time I find more convincing argument: Viktor knows he doesn't have long to live, so he's resolved to keep a certain distance from Jayce and not interfere with any sort of love life he might have (even if it destroys him with jealousy) because he doesn't want Jayce to be totally destroyed by his death, which given how openly affectionate Jayce is, seems inevitable.

This one works for me increasingly because it means the characters don't need to carry the idiot ball. Viktor can have his own strong reasons for not wanting to involve Jayce in that kind of relationship and Jayce can read that Viktor doesn't want to be involved with him in that way, and maybe they even got close and he was pushed back, and he's just respecting that now because he's just happy to have his soulmate in his life in any way he can have him (which I truly sincerely believe is a canonically supported read of Jayce no matter how romantic you see their relationship).

Then the tricky thing about a disease like that is... how much time does he actually have? If it's months, he should focus on leaving a legacy, which Viktor does. If it's years, in theory, they could work on a cure for him, but what if that doesn't work? Then you run into the tragedy of the longer he lives, the more he comes to regret not being with Jayce anyway. Then there's the question of a Hextech cure. I can see Viktor resolving to himself that if he's ever cured, then he'll confess to Jayce. Which feels all but impossible at the end of S1 when Sky dies, but then in 2.08, in the Council chamber scene, it really feels like Viktor finally feels like he's allowed to openly pursue Jayce because he's "perfect" now, and that to me is a linchpin of the idea that Viktor was holding himself back from pursuing Jayce openly because of his health.

Oh and I still think it's possible that Mel is Jayce's first as a result, or very near his first if him and Viktor maybe fooled around a bit or if Jayce had other relationships before that. But there is something very innocent in the way Jayce approaches sleeping with Mel that to me feels very much like he's had only a couple partners or fewer at the very least, if he hasn't been outright "saving himself for marriage" levels of hoping Viktor will notice him someday, which is my Jayvik romantic read of that moment he pauses before returning Mel's kiss, he's thinking, "Do I realistically have a shot with Viktor?" and concluding sadly that, no, he doesn't so he might as well stop denying himself a possible relationship over it anymore.

[raystie]

wow my last post was in Feb so despite not really having a following here I still feel obligated to say I'm going through a Bad Time both mentally and physically rn I can't even be bothered to think about or play Yakuza or do anything really. not dead but I sure feel like I'm on the way there rn. won't be here for a while take care everyone

[ofyorkshire]

psychology + mental health deep dive !

QUICK FACTS ,

diagnoses: i don't know what doctors of the early '80s would have diagnosed bj with, especially given that he's gay and possibly trans (genderfluid?), but imo, bj has severe c-ptsd and possibly schizophrenia (though there's not a lot of evidence for the latter; the visual and auditory hallucinations he experiences could just be a symptom of his c-ptsd and drug abuse, which is how i portray him, since i'm not confident that i can properly portray someone suffering with schizophrenia). there's probably more, but i'm not a psychologist and wouldn't know where to begin with bj.

triggers: a better question would probably be "what doesn't potentially trigger him?", because bj lives in a near-constant state of dissociation and hyper-vigilance. but the smell of damp earth or decaying leaves, gunshots, knives, sex, and the sound of large dogs barking are his most common triggers.

positive coping skills:  few, but he has found ways to help ground himself through little personal rituals like touching something cold when he feels far away, or listening to music when his auditory hallucinations get too loud. personal superstitions like counting to seven or drawing sevens for good luck help ease some of his anxiety, as well as dancing and painting.

negative coping skills:  substance abuse is probably bj's worst both because of their affects on his physical health as well as his mental health; the high or drunk helps keep him in a dissociative, numb, or euphoric state when the high is "good", but abusing drugs and alcohol has also worsened his hallucinations and paranoia. he also often engages in risky sex and occasionally borderline suicidal behavior.

attachment style:  disorganized-avoidant / fearful-avoidant

love language:  (to give) touch and to give / (to receive) touch and words of affirmation

myers briggs / mbti: i've tried to figure this out before and i'm honestly not sure i know, even taking the test. there's "barry james", who... i think is maybe his more authentic self, and then there is "bj" who is not inauthentic, necessarily, but certainly is more of a mask than who bj really is. the problem, though, is that i don't know who bj would be without his trauma, and i'm not sure who he is with it, because it changes depending on how he needs to survive. if i had to guess, i'd say he's probably an infx or isfx? maybe?

HISTORY EXPLORATION ,

are their diagnoses formal ( via a doctor, therapist, etc. ) or informal ( self diagnosis, a hunch, unrealized, etc. )     he supposedly gets a formal diagnoses sometime in the early '80s (?), but considering that the hospital releases bj at what i would consider his absolute worst state mentally, idk how correct the diagnoses was.

have they ever been treated / medicated?     yes, but. well. see above.

have they ever been hospitalized or treated on an inpatient basis?   yes.

how old were they when they first started experiencing / realizing symptoms? around 9 or 10 was when bj really began to sink into himself and his inner-monologue switched from first person to third as a way of distancing himself from his trauma. after that, his mental health dive-bombed.

do they have a family history of mental illness? likely. but we don't know enough about bj's mom to say.

how was mental health handled / discussed in the family / community?    none at all. at most, reverend laws would call him "troubled" because of his mother at best, and at worst blame "sin" on bj's deteriorating mental health.

what are their thoughts on mental health / their diagnosis?   negatively, when he does think about it. angry, mostly, and ashamed. but then he also just doesn't think about it, if he can help it.

in what ways has their diagnosis shaped their life or experiences?  n/a. except for his doctors potentially making him worse because of how they treated him after his diagnoses, bj doesn't think about his diagnosis and doesn't find it helpful or useful.

SYMPTOMS: note that all of the below are, on their own, normative and typical aspects of human functioning. they become “symptoms” when they last longer than “normal” or when they pose a significant impact on someone’s life / functioning.

BOLD  all that are present,  ITALICIZE  those that are resolved or in the history.

depression.    anxiety.   panic attacks.    dissociation.   derealization.   depersonalization.    suicidal ideation.    self harm.    homicidal ideation.    psychosis.    auditory hallucinations.    visual hallucinations.    delusions.    mania.    hypomania.   racing thoughts.    hyperactivity.    attention difficulty.   flashbacks.    nightmares.   hyperarousal.    hypoarousal.    hypersexuality.    hyposexuality.    psychopathy.   risky behavior.    catatonia.    somatic / bodily concerns.    mutism.    phobia.    agoraphobia.    hoarding.    obsessions.    compulsions.    body dysmorphia.    hair picking.    skin picking.     amnesia.   illness anxiety / hypochondria.    sensory loss.    speech difficulty.    comprehension difficulty.    communication difficulty.    tics.    defiant behavior.    irritable mood.    vindictiveness.     aggression.    pyromania.    kleptomania.    paranoia.    attention seeking.    narcissism.   avoidance.   dependency.    pica.    rumination.    food restriction.    food binging.    purging.   soiling the bed (sometimes; struggles mostly when in an especially bad mental place).    insomnia.    fatigue.    sexual dysfunction.    delirium.    developmental delays.

explanations / elaborations on any of the above symptoms:

i don't think i could properly explain all of that in a single post, and i think most of it would be far too triggering anyway without a readmore. if curious, feel free to ask, but this is mostly for my reference anyway.

tagged by: no one, i just wanted to fill this out for bj. tagging: anyone who would like to

[maibeenot]

Last one about TUA season 4, for now.

(I talked about this in the tags of one of my RBs before but I wanted to elaborate)

I don't like how they keep trying to make Five a badass.

I find it especially frustrating as doing this constantly, bogs down any form of character development we could've had from Five.

For whatever reason, the writers seem to be allergic to acknowledging Five's biggest character flaw, his arrogance. Five always has to be right. He always has to be capable of everything and never needs any help. Despite the fact that Diego also has a very similar flaw (and is punished for it consistently), Five's seems to go completely untouched.

(A part of me thinks that the reason why they punish Diego so much more is because he comes off as the hot-headed impulsive one. While that's true, it certainly doesn't negate Five's ability to make mistakes or be incompetent)

Instead, they keep trying to invent a new flaw for Five in that; he is obsessed with the apocalypse. In reality, he's not obsessed with the apocalypse. He's obsessed with keeping his family safe. It just so happens that their most immediate threat (in his eyes) tends to be the apocalypse. (I really don't understand what they're trying to get at with this, especially considering the fact that he already has an extremely apparent flaw)

While this isn't an issue I take with season 4 specifically, it has definitely amplified this issue like crazy. Five's arrogance is vaguely addressed by his siblings in season 1, but it never seems to get him in trouble? Or at least he doesn't seem to have learned from it (except for the time-travelling thing from when he was 13, and when he bled out also in season 1)

Season 1 (and 2) handled it the best out of the four. Five never seems to ask for or accept help unless backed into a corner (telling Viktor about the apocalypse, asking Klaus to help him get the prosthetic eye). Or if he is literally incoherent or unconscious (him passing out from blood loss, him being drunk and telling Diego and Luther about what's happening).

And outside of that, Five's arrogance still had brutal consequences within this season (him not noticing Viktor's declining mental state because he was so sure about the apocalypse (but this was partially because this man tunnel-visions like crazy)).

(there are probably more instances of this with s1 & 2, i just can't think of them off the top of my head so tag them if you'd like)

Season 4 is extra mean with this. From the 'Five getting to work for the CIA at 19' to 'Five randomly figuring out what's causing the end of the world with a bunch of other Five's' while he was off moping.

And when he does make mistakes, it's not because he's actually not capable of everything and anything.

Noooo, Ben really really sneakily stole the marigold and spiked the sake. Five couldn't have possibly noticed. (and none of the other siblings for that matter)

Noooo, it's because Luther is actually super smart in figuring out that Five's boss is a Keeper (no shade to Luther btw, I like him. They just don't treat this moment as Five being a complete dumbass).

Oh no! Five (and Lila) can't figure out a way back from the metro! Never mind, another Five managed it.

Five being a homewrecker? That's him being an asshole, not incompetent so it doesn't count (lighthearted).

Five's arrogance one of his defining flaws, yet it's not really challenged. The fact that he gets away with a lot of bullshit is simply because he can! When he doesn't face failure, he doesn't find growth. He doesn't learn to stop being self-destructive just because he thinks he can do anything. He doesn't learn to reach out.

This stunt in growth is obviously not only present in Five but also everyone else. I just find his to be particularly grating since he's my favorite.

Feel free to add your thoughts to this, not just about Five's fucked up character growth but everyone else's too!

(I'll make long a ass post/video essay going into detail about all of them one of these days)

I'd love to read them :)

[reachartwork]

the process

a lot of people like to ask me about my process and how ai can be "creative" because they're under the impression that it's just kind of a big slot machine. you pull a lever and art uncontrollably comes out. well, let me show you my process

this is going to be a long thread tagged with #long post, blacklist that if you want to skip it.

so how it starts like most art is that i have an idea. in this case, earlier i made a post about witch-knights "surfing" on swords, so i'm going to try and make that - a witch-knight flying through the air atop one of her swords.

it starts with this picture.

i think this picture is dogshit so i discard basically all of it to try and find something closer to my original intent. there's a couple of uninteresting regenerations so it's clear i have to go back to the drawing board and teach the machine what it is i'm trying to do

let's start with a witch-knight on a broom. it's definitely not great but it gives us a better pose that i can work with.

i start by erasing the broom and replacing it with a skateboard - the machine understands skating better for what i need it to do.

there's a ton of small, subtle errors in this image and it overall looks like dogshit but the most important part right now is blocking and the overall pose structure - i need her "surfing" a large, lengthwise object, in the sky. i start by erasing pieces of the skateboard

now we have a sword, which is good. but the sword itself looks... bad. i'll spare you the abortive attempts at selective regeneration of the sword and just show you what happened when i rolled it back a couple of times from this pose and let it regen entirely.

again, tons of small little shitty errors, but this is something i can work with. i do another regen for a less shitty sword. her boob armor gets replaced with, like, generic scale mail.

this image has a great sword and decent pose but like... everything else is kind of futzy and i dont like it. instead of trying to pick and choose i just throw it back into the oven for a second. much better! but now she's going to cut herself on the sword, oh no!

again, i'll save you the agonizing thirty minutes of trying to get it to understand where the foot should go. unlike before i didn't really have a choice except to muscle through. there! now she's surfing safely :)

so it's done, right? well, i mean, i could post this. and it would probably do okay. but *i'm* not satisfied with it. there's stiffness. dozens of minor errors. the eyes look weird when you zoom in. let's start by fixing her hat, and then maybe her hands?

but she's missing fingers on her left hand so let's go ahead and fix that too. and i don't really like the tip of her sword and the ocean looks really flat and boring. so, VERY CAREFULLY, i have to etch out the parts of the sword and her body i have to keep, and also write an entirely new prompt to tell it "i want an ocean w/ rolling waves please :)"

this is better but not great. i try again - serendipitously, it makes this really cool variant with a shadow over the water, but i know working with that will take more wrangling so i'm considering it an evolutionary dead end and discarding it for now.

i proceed to spend 30 minutes trying to make the ocean look better but it's really not working imo. i'm gonna go back to the shadow version and see how that works

i'll spare you the other 8 minutes - i'm satisfied with the following picture. the sword isn't *perfectly* straight, her eyes aren't perfectly textured, the scale mail is... weird, in texture, but anything else would be greasing the wheel and i think beyond the machine's ability to do fine detail.

i've also attached the starting picture for comparison - it has better, "higher quality" clouds and ocean but i personally cared more about the pose and the sword surfing - the background is mostly tangential. could i get back ocean and clouds of that quality with another two hours of painstakingly cutting and re-generating bits of the background without destroying any of my existing work on the pose? probably. but i don't want to.

total time spent on this piece from start to finish was one hour and twenty one minutes. and now you know!

[rallamajoop]

An absurdly detailed analysis of That One Soldat Photo

Hang around wintersberg fandom long enough, and you'll likely run into a popular crack-theory that, since Heisenberg obviously thinks that building a set of huge, yellow-painted signposts is a good way to point Ethan to the Stronghold, maybe it's Heisenberg who's been leaving all those handy, yellow-painted supply crates all over the place for Ethan to find! It's exactly the kind of fun nonsense I'd enjoy if it didn't feel folks are starting to take it a little too literally (by which I mean I have now read multiple fics in which it's played completely straight ‒ and, like, people do get that it's just a crack theory, right? Like, why would Heisenberg have left so many yellow crates around his own damn factory? Look, you don't have to explain every last game mechanic, not everything is lore!)

But as anyone reading my own fic would know, I'm guilty of echoing the idea that Heisenberg-was-leaving-stuff-for-Ethan myself ‒ just not because of any yellow-striped crates. No, I'm way more interested in this one weird soldat-photo you can find in the village ‒ long hours before you'll ever see your first Soldat in the flesh...

Very creepy. And if you turn it over, you'll find a clue to a puzzle you'll have to solve in order to progress.

(And of course, when you do look out the window, odds are you'll get jump-scared by a lycan just when you're focused on the numbers, because RE8 loves that sort of misdirection ‒ but I digress.)

Anyway, the code you can see out the window will open a safe containing a jack handle you'll need to move a vehicle in the village, as well as the M1911 pistol (which will very likely be your go-to handgun for the rest of the game). The game is full of conveniently-helpful clues like that (heck, most games are), often with no obvious Watsonian justification. And there are other photos around the village ‒ Luiza has a whole photo album ‒ but photos of experiments created by Miranda and her lords don't generally turn up outside their own territory.

For a player exploring the village for the first time, that photo is a lovely little bit of foreshadowing, hinting at monsters and factory stages to come. But on replaying with full knowledge of Heisenberg's later attempts to get Ethan on his side, that Soldat photo is just enough to make you go, huh... did Heisenberg leave that for Ethan? Like, on purpose?

You can find another copy of that photo later, in Heisenberg's factory, along with his notes on his early series Soldat experiments. Which doesn't really prove anything beyond the fact that assets exist to be reused... but it does at least make it pretty canon that Heisenberg has photos of his Soldats sitting around.

Possibly also significant: both the clue photo and the factory documents are tagged 'geekmemo' in the game files. Most everything related to Heisenberg in the files is labeled 'geek'-something ‒ it seems to be an early nickname for his character that lasted well into production. Everything in the factory is geek-something, even the model for the passageway from the altar to the bridge is labeled 'pathtogeek'. Considering that so many soldat-related assets are already labeled 'geek', maybe that 'geekmemo' tag doesn't really tell us anything we don't already know ‒ but it certainly doesn't work against the idea that Heisenberg wrote that 'memo' himself.

Besides, it's not like there isn't precedent for this kind of thing. RE7 had a whole mechanic where you'd have to find 'treasure photos' pointing out the location of a few rare and useful items, all with "I hid something here" written on the back. We're never explicitly told who left those photos lying around, but it's obviously Lucas: he loves playing games, he loves taunting prisoners with the possibility of escape, and who else would it be? The complete population of the Baker mansion is like 6 people and a bunch of semi-sentient mould.

Over in RE8, there are a lot more village resident who might have left that clue lying around. Like it or not though, Heisenberg is very much RE8's equivalent of Lucas: the family's wildcard show-boater who loves making Ethan jump through hoops for his amusement. So how does the game let us know it was Heisenberg who left this particular clue? Well, who else would leave a message on the back of a Soldat photo?

There's may be additional supporting evidence Heisenberg could be involved ‒ most notably the location, being a locked-off cul-de-sac labeled 'Workshop' on signs and maps. The area is full of metal junk very much like you'll later see lying around the factory.

The workshop location does have other relevance ‒ it makes sense that you'd find the jack handle in the village workshop, whether Heisenberg was involved or not. But it also stands to reason that if there's anywhere in the village proper where Heisenberg might hang around and leave clues for Ethan, the workshop is it. And you have to admit that leaving Ethan useful stuff in a safe along with an easy clue that will likely get him jumped by a lycan is 100% more in-character for the guy than just leaving useful stuff out in the open, even if it doesn't really prove anything either.

There's one more weird-little does-this-mean-anything detail: there are three dead crows near the safe too.

It's not the first time in the game you've seen dead crows (there were a bunch outside the village, and I've talked about what that might mean in the context of Miranda's cult before). But I don't remember finding any others around the village itself, other than in this one spot. And instead of being hung from trees like a ritual sacrifice, these ones are just dead ‒ messily, and with blood everywhere.

Now, maybe it doesn't mean anything, but is there anyone in the village more likely to vent his frustrations by violently killing a few of Mother Miranda's avian avatars than Heisenberg? I'd think not.

In conclusion: I still don't think all those yellow crates have anything to do with Heisenberg. And I still don't know for sure whether the RE8 development team wanted me to assume that Heisenberg left Ethan that photo, jack handle and gun. I don't know if we're supposed to read that Heisenberg keeps a workshop in the village and sometimes kills crows out of spite. But the evidence sure does point that way ‒ and it's as valid an interpretation as anything else you might take from this game.

[autisticalastor]

you stole my heart (but i don't want it back again)

Pairing: Alastor/Charlie

Rating: G

Tags: Fluff, Established Relationship, Marriage Proposals, Demiromantic Asexual Alastor

A/N: Had the idea of "What if Alastor invokes his deal with Charlie when he's ready to propose?" and it was just too cute not to run off with! I feel like he'd be super nervous about the whole thing, so it's kind of "If you have to go on this date, so do I" kinda deal so he can't back out at the last minute. Anyways, time for some stupid cute Radiobelle! Title is from Evergreen by Dirt Poor Robins (which, ironically enough, is the song I want to be the first dance at my own wedding)!

Perfect. Everything has to be perfect. Alastor’s been planning this out for a while now, and he'll just about double-die if anything goes wrong. And he's pretty sure double-Hell wouldn't have Charlie, so he's not too keen on that idea. He’s spent the last few days going over his plan in detail, running things over a hundred times with Rosie because Charlie has to say yes, and generally killing himself with worry over the whole ordeal. Rosie keeps assuring him everything’s going to be fine, but fine isn’t good enough.

Today is supposed to be the day. It’ll take him all day to get everything ready while also dealing with the hotel, but he’s planned everything in such detail, he knows he can get it all done. He’ll be handling all the cooking, Niffty already said she’d handle setup for everything else if he wanted. Really, he’s surprised she hasn’t spilled the beans to Charlie yet with how excited she is alone. He wishes he could feel excited, but all he feels is nervous.

The hardest part will be actually going through with it. He’s been thinking of proposing for a while, but always managed to talk himself out of it. He’s never seen himself as the marrying type before, and it’s only since getting into this relationship with Charlie that he’s realized it’s because he doesn’t really think he’s marriage material. There’s plenty of men and women out there better than him, and even now, he’s certain she’ll realize that one day and it’ll all be over.

He idly considers calling the whole plan off again. And then, Charlie comes over to talk to him, bright-eyed and ready to start the day, immediately standing on tiptoe to give him a kiss. She has a habit of doing things that just wipe his entire brain clean, and this is definitely one of those things.

“Good morning, darling,” he says, pulling her against him in a warm embrace.

“Morning,” she replies, looping her arms around his neck. “You looked like you needed a bit of a mental reset. Everything all right?”

This is it. He’s supposed to ask her to come out with him tonight. That’s all he has to do right now, not even the hardest part. So why does he suddenly feel like his heart’s beating a mile a minute? They’ve had hundreds of date nights at this point. She won’t suspect a thing. There’s nothing to be so anxious about. Yet.

“Actually, I did have a small favor to ask…”

“Oh, anything you need! What is it?”

He still can’t bring himself to do it. One step closer to proposing is also one step closer to her potentially saying no. He’s going to back out, like he always does. There’s no way he can go through with this. Unless…

Keep Reading

[fullscoreshenanigans]

What is some of your favorite full score trio fanart?

Dear anon we will be here for hours, days even.

I wish this website would let you search multiple tags at once because I do have a fave tag (mobile version) but there's other posts in there too you'd have to go through (but I mean, I also love those too and think they're worth seeing lol).

I don't like reposting fanart for a variety of reasons, but some links and tag ramblings below the cut for some of them:

☆ "tire swing" by @notelectrictigerart

#ℍ 𝔼 𝔸 𝕃 𝕀 ℕ 𝔾 #I personally have an embarrassing distaste of tire swings but this... t h i s 🥺🥺 #like in the “NER in the Bird Cages” short story from the light novels Emma laments how Ray is never happy #and back then a lot of the time she probably thought he was being churlish and moody for no reason #so to capture a moment like this is... 🤧 #these are the moments that kept him going #also love the impressionist style of the greenery #and how the sun is filtering through the leaves and speckling on the tire #ty for sharing op this is beautiful

☆ Untitled by @tohmei

#this is how Ray sees them #him just off in the corner like #“I would and will die for you 🧡🙂🤍” #messin' me up lads #even if it's same hat lol #but no really this is gorgeous #with how bright the colors are around the two of them and their expressions #contrasting with how dark it is around Ray because he fully believes he has to shoulder all his burdens alone for years #and doesn't deserve to share in their light because of the things he's done #I'm always going to be emo over the emo son

☆ "I need a Ray-charge" by @uragirinoteme

#mf got shoujo bubble vision lkfjdkl #the most adorable and endearing lil shits Ray never stood a chance 🤍🖤🧡 #moments like these solidifying that everything will be worth it in the end‚ even if they end up hating him for i t#he might be biased but he just can't shake the belief of an inherent goodness in them #that makes them better people than him who deserve to be saved #I know I say Ray is a cat boy a lot and Emma's got the 83 face going on in the first two panels #but the way Norman is laying on him?? omg he gets the cat boy vibes/award this time #most contented cat on what he and Emma believe to be prime real estate |3

☆ Untitled by @vivithekid

#godddd I still fucking adore the soft tenderness of this piece so much #which is kind of wild when you think about it given how grey is usually associated with being dull and devoid of that #when it's the predominant tinge to a setting #but here it's just so calm and intimate with the fog and their proximity #and the way the pink and orange are overtly and subtly woven in throughout the piece #love it; along with the drop shadow around the flowers Emma's emitting to make them *pop* #and the details on their clothing!! #some of the pink is due to the cold outside sure but u///u #Norman tenderly placing a flower behind his ear is just...so sweet #he's treating him so delicately not because he's fragile or he thinks he needs to be babied #but because he deserves that kindness after all he sacrificed for them and he considers him to be something precious #(read: i am fucking emo) #and Ray's just stunlocked by the both of them because is this really happening?? 404 error lol #for a few seconds they can't even see the fog of his breath because he stopped breathing #the way he's holding onto that book out of shock but also as a kind of unconscious barrier because this is treading into new unknowns #and they're definitely not unwelcome but it's still scary in its own way all the same #for someone who relies so much on his memories and the knowledge he's read #(there were undoubtedly titles that featured romance at Grace Field but it's a bit different reading about it happening to others #and it happening to you)

☆ Monster AU doodles by @tempo-takoyaki

#THAT FUCKING NORMAN IN THE TOP RIGHT KDJFSAS #it is so rare for him to be the Person C in the birdsquirrel trio dynamic but he is so done with their shit #not even needing to look at Ray in the bottom left to figure out what he was thinking I love it #long-suffering; so long-suffering #also the lil crying one 🥺 with them nibbling on him with their little bby fangs 🥺🥺 precious 🤧 #“Emma doesn't need to do it she just thinks it's fun” #something something “Ray was doing it so I wanted to do it too” LKDFKLKJL #with Isabella and Ray being the only black-haired pureblood vampires these kids have ever met #makes me wonder if they're more inclined to pick up on their connection (combined with their enhanced senses)

☆ "🎉🦉🎂 Happy Birthday, Norman! 🎂🦉🎉" by @officersnickers

#Ray’s got melanin‚ Emma’s got freckles‚ they’re all blushing but Norman’s bushing the most out of them all #the outfits look like something kids would wear (also I'm biased and love hoodies so ray in a hoodie is gr8 in my book lol) #the definition of each of their jawlines but especially the birthday boy's #the details with the folds and shading on the clothes‚ the metallic shine to the balloons with their little crevices‚ #each of them having a candle corresponding to them on the cake that’s littered with little goodies #matching their respective hats that each have the others’ colors in their little poofs #the blurred confetti so we know we’re right in the midst of it erupting and falling around them #in this kinetic chaotic haze of love and warmth #it’s all what he deserve after everything <3

☆ kofi-request by @nekokat42

#can't believe they invented ot3s #← incredibly valid prev tag #love when people give Ray his shark teeth back love that cheeky confidence getting to come out in more relaxed circumstances #and Emma having the time of her life dancing and laughing aaaaahhh. healing 🤍🧡🖤 #love her outfit esp it looks adorable on her #and the way Norman and Ray pause to make eye contact with the latter mid-dance; beautiful

☆ "favorite genre of tpn content: WE LOVE NORMAN!!" by @pawphin

#filed under posts I'll reblog in perpetuity until blocked #to go with the previous reblog #Ouran uniform vibes are still v strong for me lol #but no I love how genius boy Norman is all ? and subdued and slightly bashful in the middle #as if he can't understand what could possibly warrant this intervention #as if he doesn't have any idea of how much they love and adore him and would do near anything for him #We Are All Love Norman Fanclub indeed #love how you capture their personalities with Norman being humbled and finding comfort in their presence #Emma (potentially on tiptoe <3) with a steeply slanted delighted smirk on her lips as she leans in #and Ray‚ whose expression is so frequently camouflaged by his fringe and who favors actions over words when it comes to these matters‚ #not wearing a matching smirk but following her lead without a second thought in such a sweet and tenderly fond fashion #not treating Norman delicately because he's fragile but because he considers him someone to be treasured #as one of his precious two in this moment #love how it all feels so natural to them as they inhabit each others' space #everyone's already cited how gorgeous the colors are but I love how the purples & pinks bring out the hint of pink in his eyes 💗💙 #so many little things to adore that combine into such a soft piece #god tier trio tbqh; can't believe they invented OT3s

☆ "Go for it, Ray!" by @mari-lair

#when i tell you these three have me by the neck i- #im love themb #← prev tags... yeah 🥺🤧🖤🧡🤍 #reblogging again because this is still so incredibly true #adore the moments of NE together adore their individual moments with Ray #it took me a sec to realize Emma and him were holding hands in their solo one; so precious 🤧 #probably during the Cuvitidala search #Norman's cocky side coming out during one of their chess matches #to say nothing of how he's the queen and Emma's the king out of the pieces in the background; all the little nuances in here 🧡🖤🤍 #and then ofc Ray being all sheepish and bashful in the center #he loves them so much and is so grateful they exist even if he thinks he doesn't deserve them :') </3

☆ "DO NOT SEPARATE THEM!!!!!!!!" by @lemcean

#𝕋 ℍ 𝔼 𝕄 🖤🤍🧡 #still absolutely adore this set so much with all of them taking turns being the center of the hug #love how the pink undertone of the shading infuses them with an even greater sense of cozy warmth and safety #love the little leans of each#NE leaning in to support #(and overwhelm bc after GF he's still working on expressing himself openly re:  “selfish” personal wants) a blushy mess of a Ray #as Norman gives him a headpat |3 #Norman's got a bit of height over both of them so Ray has to raise himself up a bit to fully get on his shoulder #but it's worth it to see the normally calm‚ cool‚ and collected emperor adorably frazzled 🤍🤍 #and then finally how they both lean down to Emma's height to embrace her #neither of them looking tense as melt into her embrace and you can almost hear the thrum of contentedness radiating from her #stealing another Sae line but ough 's the good good shit #[Love for Emma is not measured quantities to be doled out in scarcity like it is for him and Norman; love for Emma is a fact of life, like the air she breathes and the sun that warms her skin.] #the accuracy #can't believe they invented OT3s

☆ "Specimen" by Jean

#hey fucking kill me (most affectionate) #this is still so immaculate I can't get over it #the way Ray's and Emma's black-to-white ratios for their outfits are opposites while Norman's is more balanced #a cooler white used for him to harmonize with his hair #set against the rich red backdrop to subconsciously bring forth visions of fully bloomed vida fields #so visually striking #the melancholic aura of the piece as they all bow their heads forward #playing into the tragedy of them succumbing to the original fate that was in store for them #immortalized in the innocence of their youth #(akin to the chapter 113 art with the line-up of kids in the present with Norman as he was at Grace Field) #as they're paraded around in their fancy attire for the amusement of those who want nothing more than to feast on their flesh #but oh the way the boys delicately hold their hands out for Emma's to slip into; that unspoken trust and unconditional love #“It's going to be okay. The three of us—Norman‚ Ray‚ and me—are together.” #that reassurance that they're capable of the impossible #as the butterflies and specks of light dance around them in a near ethereal display #very grand very beautiful #though ngl now I'm kind of wishing they had to confront the demons in a more diplomatic manner #along the lines of what Norman does with Geelan or something like Peter showing up at Bayon's party in Ch73 #but with all of them in outfits like these; alas </3

☆ From 約ネバLOG by だいすけ 1881860

#a twist on the spin with Emma being paired with a field though still having the brighter warm colors #while Ray has the night sky but it's being reflected in a dark ocean with some waves for a nice touch #and then Norman with an incredibly blue sky and oceanscape that looks like it could be from the Seven Walls #which is funny considering he's the only one of the three who doesn't go there lol #think the first time i saw this was in a "Dusk Till Dawn" mini amv #and it took forever to find the original source qwq #bless AMV artists who list all their sources either in the description or in a Google doc

☆ "Today on Tori traces animation: Kekkai Sensen ED ft. fullscore trio" by @stray-tori

#𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑺𝑺??????????? #𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙀𝘿‚ 𝘽𝙍𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝘼𝙉𝙏‚ 𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙍𝙀𝘿𝙄𝘽𝙇𝙀‚ 𝘼𝙈𝘼𝙕𝙄𝙉𝙂‚ 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙒-𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙋𝙋𝙄𝙉𝙂‚ 𝙎𝙋𝙀𝘾𝙏𝘼𝘾𝙐𝙇𝘼𝙍 #spoiled spoiled the fandom was so spoiled by you Tori; taking time to share the individual frames no less #strong competitor for my favorite of your TPN animated works omfgggg I can't get over how smooth and seamless this is #the extra work you put into including Emma's bow #and Ray coolly catching Norman from his fall after Emma surprises him with that rush (because if that isn't classically her) #the soft expressions they exchange‚ the mutual bounce and giddiness in their step as they fall into that shared rhythm with ease #borne from their years of finding solace in each other's presence #but oh the muted layer of horror with your ingenuity of placing them in a field of fully bloomed vida #instead of just tracing them over the original's stage background #and to top it all off‚ it's them in their shipment clothes (and not just one or the other but both the manga and anime variants) #similar to that heartbreaking mania Ray works himself up into in the climax of the escape arc #but viewed from the perspective of if Ray had kept the secret or if none of them knew the truth of the house #and them unknowingly dancing along to the cruel tune that was laid out for them over a thousand years ago #alternatively‚ the more upbeat view is them dancing to their own beat completely aware and defying fate #and them drawing strength from each other #a la “If there isn't a place out there for humans to live‚ we'll carve one out for ourselves. Together we'll change the world.” vibes #fun either way though!!! have I conveyed how much I adore this yet? #ty so much for sharing and leaving it for fans to enjoy to this day

☆ "12.05.24" by @bercybbc

#OMFGGGGGGGGGGGG #you op. you get them 🤍🖤🧡 #when you need to let your Ray who is full of love and loyalty know that he is deeply loved in return #the way Emma's hand is on his neck to gently tilt him closer to her #while Norman tenderly holds his chin so he can place a soft kiss to his cheek #(Emma's other hand resting on his wrist‚ sentiments so profoundly interwoven) #and the relaxed tension born of fondness you convey with the shape and slope of the latter's iconic brow especially‚ <3 #love how you define his Adam's apple and jawline too; so solidly satisfying #and their strong noses? their hands??? the way they melt into each other's touch and reaffirm each other's concept of home #can't get over it can't get over any of it #I'm that one sped-up gif of the guy walking into the living room and knocking over a vase on repeat (most affectionate) #ty for sharing this is a great start to my day

☆ "The trio 💕" by @h0lymanteca

#oh. oh they is hold. #they is hold and secure 🧡🤍🖤 #thinking about how protective Norman is of them that he fully accepted walking to his death not just once‚ but twice #and once he got them back at the paradise hideout it's like this lol #I love the small contented smiles on Emma's and Norman's faces #meanwhile Ray is feigning indifference but he can't stop the blush from creeping up on his face as he accepts the embrace and leans in #him and Emma both safely nestled in the crook of Norman's neck #after thinking they'd never be together again with him until the afterlife #stealing this from you for the umpteenth time sae but #[If Norman had to give a name for the emotion Ray seems to be feeling right now, he would say: relief.] #feel like that's what permeates this piece with the content yet small tired lines around Emma's eyes #but tired because they have a moment to safely relax and breathe #and Ray's definitely feeling that too #aaaa so soft 💕💕

☆ "they were alone in the kitchen and Ray came in for a morning hug <3" by @h0lymanteca

#filed under RENarts that drive me crazy stupid #the pure domesticity 💯👌👌😩 #me whenever I see Ray not wearing the blacks and greys he longed for at Grace Field #especially when Emma's associated with the sun‚ Norman's associated with the moon‚ and he's associated with the night sky/stars #nice detail with that pattern choice with how he's got an arm wrapped solidly around each one of them #the sky and stars gently enveloping the two in a safe and secure hug 🥺🤧 #perfect with those aforementioned associations as well as in capturing their typical demeanors?? #Ray coming in quietly and maybe comparatively subdued in the way he expresses his love and loyalty #but it's imbued in his actions and gestures and Emma and Norman can feel it emanating from him #also in his matching blush u///u #meanwhile Emma is unabashed in her open displays of affection and reacts with glee to Ray's joining her and Norman #while Norman will sort of act as a bridge between the two; usually never reaching Emma's levels of expressiveness #but still being more willingly to openly display his affections in a gentle way #like here with the contented smile and blush on his face as he's sandwiched between them #(not that he minds as the one most prone to freezing; why i hc him as sleeping in the middle 90% of the time) #that lean back so he can see more of Ray and make room for him #and it's all so warm too with this palette choice aaaaah 🖤🤍🧡 #also that hand on the hip #Ray might have interrupted but they don't mind :')

☆ "3" by @yaboybokuto

#such tender kissies #love the gentle contentment with Norem #smiling into each other with gentle touches #the casual giddiness with Rayem #at least for Emma; Ray looks a little timid but the gesture feels familiar #the soft passion with Norray #Ray almost looks a little desperate reaching up to kiss him #their hands and expressions do a great job of conveying their different dynamics #they are tender #← incredible and accurate prevs #also love how the blush streak across each of their faces #leads to a visually pleasing asymmetrical symmetrical path for the eye to follow on a first viewing of the piece #love how OP gets REN

☆ "As I drew it, I remembered NER holding hands." by @vinokurinner

#wow can't believe they're married now #hands is hold 🤝 #the way they do it so delicately too‚ ah |3 <3 but especially the way Ray tenderly cups and takes Norman's? #Like bitch what?? 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵??? (utmost affection) #Norman's little bow to Emma and the way he's standing so proper with his hands behind his back as she's putting the ring on Ray fjdvkld #love how the comic is primarily composed of white‚ black‚ and pink to really make their rings stand out #they all look so dashing?? i love Emma's nontraditional wedding outfit so much??? #also love how they're balanced in the last panel since Norman and Ray both gained a head on Emma #and how she's got this officiating pose for the final leg of their exchange #good stuff great stuff

☆ "I just finished Promised Neverland soooo" by @vassssssssssss

#LONG-HAIRED NORMAN LONG-HAIRED NORMAN HOLY SHIT #i've only ever seen Sunny draw him with long hair aaaaah #m'guy close to pulling a Julius; he will never beat the Ratri allegations in my eyes #likewise Ray displaying the most PDA out of a trio pic is rare but not unwelcome #him with stubble 🖤🖤 i will always be on the hc of him growing a beard when he's older #love the choice in gold effects for each of them #along with the quiet‚ serene atmosphere as they all lean into each other and draw solace from each other's presence #built up from a lifetime of familiarity and safety #literally just used this a few days ago but once again pulling out the sae defending quote [In hindsight—it’s probably been true since they were children playing tag in trees, too young to know anything except each other.] #bc yeah kill me softly with that one #also tiny note like the detailing/strokes used for their eyebrows

☆ "compilado REN" by @7w7thais

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #ALL THE LITTLE SNAPSHOTS OF PURE DOMESTIC BLISS #AND THEIR RINGS FUCKING AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🖤🧡🤍🖤🧡🤍🖤🧡🤍 #okay i'm (ostensibly) normal and (slightly more) coherent now #Norman being tall and bulky enough to fit a little Emmita in his jacket with her adorable beret doubles the adorable #Norman as a Sylveon to Ray's Umbreon oh that's nice; also that the latter was willing to get into the kigurumi without much fuss lol #them doing facials together and 𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 that cuddling under the covers #with Norman looking pleased as punch at that behind kiss #adore the way you covey how they each carry themselves because I always feel that energy and fervor thrumming beneath the surface for Emma #girl just has so much love to give and makes no attempt to deny the obvious (nor believes she should) #while Norman and Ray are more subdued and reserved in their displays of affection but by no means does that make them less loving #the quiet reveling in the mundane (especially in that bottom left one with Ray nestling into the crook of his neck 🤍🖤) #further evidence Ray is a cat #that bottom right one of him and Emma looking so content |33 #special shoutout to the soft look he gives her in the top right he's in his element cooking is one of his love languages <3 #oh and the way she cards through his hair while he's playing the switch; they fit together so naturally after everything #AND AND Norman shaving the peach fuzz off his face and winding up baby-skin smooth (nothing less than perfection ✨✨) #while Ray looks on with a quirked brow of interest jkfsj #love how you play with the square jawline in the shadow while he still has a softer‚ rounder one #aaand I'm running out of tag space but as always love the way you get them and show your love for them; a patron saint of REN 🙏🖤🧡🤍

☆ "💕" by @7w7thais

#LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #Thais I'll never be over the way you capture the warm tenderness between them #interwoven with a playful mischievousness and underlined with a delighted steady giddiness #particular like the confident‚ open cheekiness Ray displays as a means of saying “come on‚ you know you love me” #wrt to whatever he's just said #the repeated reverie at having that constant of home in each other's arms after everything they've been through #almost not believing it's real as they soak in the moment before the reassurance that it is with each embrace #and how they enrich each other's lives in the ways they challenge and inspire each other #making sure to live up to the sentiments of “I'll show you something cool‚ so shut up and follow” with something new every day #'s the good stuff 💯👌👌 love how that's all reflected in their eyes and body language #and the lighting for enhancement #also Ray's piercings yeees <3

☆ "pampering Emma" by @bakeddeer

#filed under RENarts that drive me crazy stupid #[woah woah woah hold up#THIS ARTSTYLE??? it’s so unique and whimsical and geometric but still soft?? like how?? #I love the glow and how both Emma and Ray appear to generate light while Norman doesn’t #it’s so SAD and so PRETTY #like op please illustrate a book or publish an art collection I would pay] #← realest prev prev tags fr fR #alt Emma is the one emanating light/who the light is centered on and they're both just basking in it #(��just” from their perspective with their self-worth issues </3) #her and Ray have glow-in-the-dark shoelaces‚‚‚even the president would be jealous‚‚‚ #110% agree about the geometric style it feels so jaunty and perfectly reflective of their respective dynamics with her pre-Escape #(though her cravat paired with her in a skirt initially threw me lol) #Norman being more hands on and open in the way he holds her and cradles her head as she delights in telling him something #Ray hands off and feigning nonchalance but very much willing to let her be this up in his personal space #and wouldn't even consider letting her fall #for him to treat her the same way as Norman would be inauthentic to all of them #thus we arrive at the caption (which is‚ gah‚ love how much is said so simply) and how they each do that in their own ways #love the grand cosmic and ethereal feel to this with the coloring and enhanced by the speckling and lack of a background #making it feel like they're adrift in a pure distillation of each bond #god they are fucking everything and this set is fantastic; sun and moon imagery unparalleled and immaculate

☆ "Stay" by @theamazincactus

#filed under posts I'll reblog in perpetuity until blocked #the way this art still drives me absolutely fucking 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘦 (most affectionate) #how they're floating in this black nothingness as he's just lost and adrift before they gently confront him #at first i almost didn't see Ray (</3) #but nope he's just got himself wrapped around Norman's back as they surround him from both sides dlkfjl 🖤🤍🧡 #because if that isn't the most Ray approach: to offer that silent yet steady comfort; that undying‚ unyielding loyalty #After the powerful declarations they give him in Ch153 #“I've decided that I won't let you kill yourself anymore. That I won't let you go it alone‚ Norman.” #“We don't want a future where you're going to suffer. No matter what result it brings.” #they've gotta be firm because he's so damn obstinate klsfjkls #but underneath that there's the very palpable fear of losing him when they just got him back #and this desperate and gentle and admittedly selfish (but they don't care and they'll accept the consequences) plea #that's so simple yet weighed with so much gravity to speak to the core of his soul and what he wants for himself. “𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑦.” #love how in the midst of all this there's light bathing them from above but not quite engulfing them #as Norman is just on the precipice of this pivotal decision #love how his eyes are the only blue in the pic to highlight how terrified and vulnerable he feels #(his soul is bare before them yet he continues to hesitate in returning either of their holds) #but Ray and Emma accept him in his entirety i'm fucking. love them so much your honor 🖤🤍🧡 #ty so much for sharing this op it's still so appreciated

☆ "look fullscore trio are soulmates and no one– NO ONE – can convince me otherwise." by @salsae

#Phil goes to Harvard and they are the proudest older sibs 🥳 #always love when people incorporate how even when they're older their family is still so v important to them #also cannot overstate how amazing and healing it is to see Norman so carefree to the point where he's willing to dance with them #(it comes as no surprise for Emma‚ but Norman? just getting to be silly without any pretense #after how meticulously he curated the Minerva persona to shield himself? aaah love that for him) #“Emma's living her best life‚ cuddling with her bfs‚ in her bf's jacket‚” #“watching weird (but cute) animal videos w her big giraffe phone case‚ let's just fast-forward to this future thanks” #YES PLEASE WORDS CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I ADORE THIS MIDDLE PIC 🖤🧡🤍 #just. the pure domesticity and their chaotic arrangement on the couch. and emma being allowed to have hair below her neck #'s beautiful #“Ray is always in the middle for expressions of love‚ but when they're cuddling/in bed Norman is in the middle b/c the other two run warm.” #“Any other time Emma is in the middle” yes yes yeeeeeeesssssssss fully agree #(outside of the middle swapping around for whoever might be in need of some extra tlc on a bad day) #i love the way you get them sm sae 🧡🖤🤍

☆ "more full romo full score trio" by @salsae

#SAE WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I ADORE THIS #just. fuuuuuuck i've said this so many times but i love how you get them #the pure adoration in NR's eyes as they look at each other and the way Norman tenderly tilts up Ray's face #meanwhile Emma is a cat personified as she arches her back in content against Ray to nuzzle up to his chin #even her face is scrunched up like one kdfjsd 🧡 #meanwhile the way her hand rests on Norman's‚‚‚🧡🤍 love how the aura around her ring emanates as well #and then the second pic where the boys switch off to making sure she's pampered nestled between them #and the way Ray delicately kisses her freckled shoulder as his fingers are interlaced with Norman's #not with a desperate grip but more lightly as they revel in the sensation of touch #(just love how you drew the hands but esp where the pinkies lay to convey they're in the middle of movement) #all to be expected from a patron saint of REN bless you for this bounty 🙏🧡🤍🖤

☆ "We'll show you something great, so shut up and marry us" by @salsae

#filed under posts I'll reblog in perpetuity until blocked #I still love this piece sm Sae the sunbeams to bless their union and highlight their rings are immaculate #along with imbuing the autumn scene with a cozy warmth while using the contrast of the cool blue sky to make them pop in the foreground #the S1e11/Ch33 callback is nothing short of brilliant with how it was used to connect the three of them #now elevated by Norman being physically present beside RE it is everything. to me. #also will forever champion older Ray sporting a beard like his dad Yuugo :'')

[neonscandal]

Manga with Me: Sad SatoSugu Edition (Because That's Literally the Only Flavor There Is)

So I mentioned wanting to list out all the canonically most heartrending things I could think of as it pertains to Satosugu during an Anon Ask sometime ago and since the Christmas holiday is nigh upon us... what better time (because I started this a while ago)? If you would like to wallow in the heartbreak, you can always peruse this tag because this is truly something that rots my brain on the reg. So let's get into it, let's recount all the details that bounce around my head like an old school DVD logo in case anyone else wanted to be miserable too.

Part 1 | Part 2

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: Includes information up to chapter 236. This will be an exhaustive list to include details that haven't been animated. If you want to stay spoiler free, stop reading when you see the ⚠️ 

A/N: This basically just turned into an overly indulgent retelling of everything that happened because all of it is sad? Read at your own risk.

Let's start with a little bit of autobiography so we're all on the same page.

Gojo Satoru, heir to not only one of the Big Three sorcerer families but inheritor of their two familial cursed techniques. The occurrence of which hadn't been recorded for a century. His birth effectively tilted the scales and, subsequently, is responsible for the stronger breed of curses that sprung up to create balance in the world (in the same way Sukuna's finger woke other curses). We don't know much about his family except that he's been the target of unsuccessful assassination attempts since he was a kid. Subsequently, he's got an untempered ego that's largely unchecked and an unexplored power ceiling.

Why we love him: Real ones recognized a deeply traumatized person who hides it with a smile. ✨ Little did we know, the missing piece to that origin is what lurks in the shadows.

Geto Suguru, strong in his own right and implicitly guided by the belief that the weak should be protected. Leans into this enlightened ideal by also donning iconography that likens him to Buddha well before he considered being a cult leader. In my opinion (since I said this would be canonical, this needs to be called out as a headcanon), I think this was done to kind of cover the spread of his own insecurity coming into Jujutsu High as a society outsider. Especially when you consider Gojo's in his class.

Why we love him: While they appear to not get along, they really look to one another for balance. Ideologically and morally, Gojo will consider his perspective as he's the first person to really call Gojo on his flippancy and yoke him up. We love to see it.

CHRONOLOGICAL and rapid fire

They are two of only three special grade sorcerers at the time, the other being Yuki Tsukumo. It promotes this identity tied to their strength which Gojo is frequently sizing others up (sorry, Utahime) but also undoubtedly inspires a level of comfort Gojo probably hadn't known previously, to know that he had someone he could rely on.

In this, we see that Geto tuts at Gojo, keeping him in line from a social and moral perspective. He also weighs keeping the peace of citizens' minds believing that society should protect the weak and keep the strong in check. He rationalizes that jujutsu exists to protect non-sorcerers as if its their righteous responsibility. Sidebar: I love that the anime shows this convo taking place in a gym to visually use their shots missing vs going in as another way to show how they're at odds.

Subsequently, tasked with increasingly dangerous missions even though they are just kids because there's a shortage of strong sorcerers. There's a shortage of sorcerers at all. Undoubtedly, creates a sense of superiority in both and, likely, a greater sense of responsibility in Geto. As though the stronger he gets, the stakes continue to get higher as well.

Assigned a mission which effectively could impact the fate of the world wherein they have to protect Riko Omanai, another child and the Star Plasma Vessel, who is selected to merge with Tengen. Unbeknownst to us at the time but, even as students, they realized how shitty that was and had agreed unanimously to allow whatever Riko wanted to happen, whether she chose life or merge. Gojo propositioned it first and Geto's half-assed warning was simply that they might have to fight Tengen. Their overconfidence here kills me? But, essentially, protecting the weak and keeping the strong in check also meant enforcing what was right regardless of the mission and, more over, they could likely contextualize how unfair it was that they were child soldiers, as well.

Even with their difference in opinion or ideology, Gojo is reassured by the fact that, regardless of the demands of the mission, "we're the strongest". Which is huge when you consider that, for the longest time, he was always wary of others, likely kept people at arms' length, always had to protect others, etc.

I can only imagine the number of silly goofy selfies these idiots exchanged while on missions together or apart. Again, it just undercuts how, in spite of everything else, they were just goofballs.

This, I think, is important. Geto was the first person to rationalize Riko's desires to still go to school and be amongst her friends to Gojo. Geto had a sense of protecting the youthful life she knew from the start. Letting her enjoy herself was a part of the mission Tengen specified but Geto seemed moved by it without influence. Even if Gojo initially mentioned "calling it off" if the Star Plasma Vessel didn't want to move forward, this indicates the importance of, not just living (which Gojo will defend because he can), but living well which Geto is in support of.

Geto reassures Kuroi that she is Riko's family and, we can extrapolate, that he probably has his own bonds that are not blood but are still beloved like family. Even then.

Something I didn't take into consideration before but... it's Geto's fault/carelessness that gets Kuroi kidnapped. This likely causes a snowball effect of guilt as everything else transpires and ultimately leads him to his breaking point.

The fact that, where Gojo was once really intolerant of frivolity during the Star Plasma Vessel mission, he decided to show compassion by allowing for sightseeing and an extended stay in Okinawa, likely after taking Geto's previous rationale under advisement. Life is more than just surviving, afterall.

Usually when someone is strong, people lack the ability to comprehend or acknowledge their possible vulnerability. But Geto unabashedly expresses concern for Gojo potentially wearing himself out at the expense of extending their stay. It's small but its something expressed amongst equals and is shown to be such as Gojo says, "You're here too." TBH this altered my brain chemistry. Probably altered Geto's brain chemistry too. Can you imagine that reciprocation of trust and safety?? Ego boost.

What's especially funny about the exchange is highlighted by Geto's typical characterization as the fox eyed character or "kitsune no me" (even if its inconsistent). It can imply wisdom or someone who is mischievous. Given his other style choices, I assume its more for the wise aesthetic. But when he checks up on Gojo he gives the classic one-eye-open visual cue of being focused but with an air of confidence in response. Like, just puff out your chest and tell him you love him, already.

Literally, the soft way Geto watches Gojo be an immature little shit. For all the banter at the beginning of their origin story, this panel and, honestly, Okinawa really demonstrated how Gojo was endeared to Geto which hits a climax when they get back to Jujutsu High.

We only see Geto lose his cool when harm comes to Gojo. Toji getting the drop on Gojo was a shock to everyone but Geto sprung into action.

The fact that the first time Geto gives into his confidence and echoes Gojo's belief that "we're the strongest,", believing that, between the two of them, they could protect Riko's future... is precisely when Toji guns her down?? BRO. Irrevocably shattered his whole world view in a moment.

We only see Geto lose his cool when he believes harm has come to Gojo.

The fatal flaw in the Star Plasma Vessel mission was truly their combined hubris from being strong individually and being doubly reassured by their confidence in one another. Combine that with their loftiness of being sorcerers and it exposed them to a predator who doesn't need cursed energy to see footprints. The simplicity of it is aggravating. Toji's whole plan focused on a false sense of security but they were effectively already surrounded by an insulated false sense of security because of their power and standing in jujutsu society.

Moreover, the fact that Toji made such a big to do about how to defeat the Six Eyes but voiced the fact that Geto was negligible so long as he wasn't a shikigami user. Even if they were both strong, it still presents this idea that Gojo was stronger, he was the bigger threat.

Mind you, they were both bested by the same person BUT THE FACT THAT THEY BOTH LATER ESPOUSE SOME ELEMENT OF TOJI'S ESSENCE?? Geto takes on his vernacular (re: monkeys and essentially equates jujutsu as an evolution) and Gojo takes on the fit (which is crazy). More specifically, the fact that down the line, Gojo takes Toji's "Blessing" and Geto inherits his curse[d worm]. Ya know, maybe I was wrong about JJK antagonists because Toji really is the fork in the socket for a lot of what ends up happening.

This, is quite honestly, one of the most disrespectful coincidences of the whole ordeal because, while Geto shares physical characteristics with the Buddha and generally has a more humble and righteous understanding of the world, when Gojo experiences his power up at the beginning of his second fight with Toji, he experiences what we can assume is enlightenment as he boasts "Throughout heaven and earth, I alone am the Honored One,". In many ways, this is just another thing scratching at the foundation of who they are.

Geto and Gojo are constantly set at odds, ideologically is the least of their differences as they learn to take one another's perspectives under consideration. The divide comes from Geto, born of non-sorcerers, who has a cursed technique that forces him to ingest curses which he equates to swallowing a cloth that had been used to wipe up vomit. How can one be clean and pure when forced to regularly imbibe something so disgusting? It makes sense as to how he solemnly would feel this sacrifice to be noble and necessary in practice with the tradeoff of being able to help the weak. Gojo, born into a sorcerer family, has cursed techniques that not only prevent the need to even touch a curse but also allows time and space to think through whatever comes his way as a Six Eyes user. An argument could be made for nurture vs nature respectively but, ultimately, I think the chasm between hard work vs natural talent is what breeds bitter resentment down the line which is further embodied in this moment. Where Geto tries to do right and walk the straight and narrow as best he could, it is still Gojo who is blessed with the enlightenment that should come with such discipline. What I also find interesting about this is the fact that, as someone who chooses to dress and carry themselves as Geto does, his undoing is ultimately tied to other famous Buddhist quotes that speak of finding sanctuary only within oneself and how attachment is the root of all suffering. It feels like in looking to Gojo, relying on Gojo, being attached to Gojo.. it filled a hole that was present within Geto and wasn't sated by his discipline or moral compass.

The above is also shown in how Gojo could immediately find where Toji was with all the hideouts where Geto had to work harder to still show up late. Everything is just so easy with the Six Eyes or I suppose that's how Geto started to feel.

The fact that, knowing they were equals before his power up, Gojo lied about Shoko healing him when Geto asked. Gojo, at the unset, haughtily believed that the strong shouldn't make excuses for their strength, and yet, hid a facet of his strength from Geto, the person who understood the burden of power best.

Gojo accepted blame for messing up during the Star Plasma Vessel when, empirically, Geto lost Kuroi first and failed as the second line of defense against Toji. I wonder how Geto felt hearing that admission when his own guilt was probably swelling within him.

After everything, Gojo still turns to Geto to determine what's right, questioning whether there needs to be a reason to kill the Time Vessel Association followers as they celebrate Riko's death.

Riko's death and their subsequent failure saw Gojo spending the year to optimize his power and prevent being felled by any vulnerability going forward. Geto was effectively sidelined and recognized the disparity between them as Satoru became "the strongest". Even so, with all of Gojo's bells and whistles, with Six Eyes at his disposal, he could not really see Geto's descent or chose not to properly address it because Gojo was never really one with typical emotional responses. It's something he goes into greater depth with Nanami in the light novels, acknowledging his lack of emotional intelligence.

As with his birth, which saw an increase in powerful curses born to keep the balance, his latent power up also had consequences like more frequent curse spawnings. This kept them busy and, as we discover apart. Since he could handle more missions on his own, by default, now Geto had to as well. They were the strongest together but they were together less and less. This effectively sent Geto further down a spiral and moral dilemma.

In spite of not being seen by Gojo during his time of strife, his first impulse when asked what kind of souvenir he'd like is to lean toward something Gojo would want. We don't know much about Geto's preferred tastes (anything is better than vomit rag) but this concession is so touching. Like, previously, we see where Gojo considers Geto time and time again when faced with a moral gray area but the consideration does go both ways.

When assessed to be a good person by Haibara, Geto challenges the idea which we can infer stems from his shift in worldview but, I also question if it is a manifestation of how he may feel about Gojo's power up, too.

The premise of Geto's defection can be broken down if we were to liken non-jujutsu sorcerers to harmless sheep. If curses and cursed users are wolves, then sorcerers are the guard dogs that protect the herd, lucky to have teeth to fight back. Geto believed it to be the duty of the sorcerers to protect the weak but hadn't confronted that even humans are capable of grotesque things, they are just as susceptible to evil. Riko's death illustrated this while also challenging his ability to protect. With the shortage of sorcerers, why must they sacrifice themselves for the good of those who are equally capable of being monsters, regardless of their perceived weakness? Haibara's death reiterated that there was no point for such sacrifice when such a fate can befall someone so good and wholesome. The nail in the coffin was, of course, finding the twins who'd been abused and imprisoned by humans because they could manipulate cursed energy.

We only see Gojo lose his cool when it comes to Geto. The reveal of his crimes, against the villagers and his own parents is outrageous given his rigid stance but that really doesn't have a place in jujutsu society. Those who cannot bend... break. As one of the only other special grade sorcerers, the fact that Gojo must subsequently become Geto's executioner is cruel and unusual punishment.

Again, we don't know much about Geto's tastes but we know that he'll ask for sweets for Gojo and carries a lighter for Shoko and that's really heartbreaking because I think we can infer he considers them family.

We only see Gojo lose his cool when it comes to Geto. Screaming about murder in front of a chicken joint is one thing, but when you find out that KFC is really popular on Christmas, there's an added layer of zest that really just twists the knife.

"Are you the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo? Or are you Satoru Gojo because you're the strongest." This was like... a critical hit when I read it. Up until this point, they were a unit who only had one another to rely on. Geto could recognize Gojo beyond Limitless, beyond Six Eyes as Satoru. There's safety and comfort in feeling understood by someone especially when you've lived a life so isolated. They were on a first name basis. While Geto had been undeniably stewing for months and suffering this turmoil, this moment is what finally pulls the rug from under Gojo. It's the moment that Geto does what everyone else does. Always burdened by his strength and now, the only person who sought to understand him beneath the weight of it all just conflated him with his power. It shakes Gojo's sense of self. Later, I think Geto thought this drove a wedge between them, likely as intended. But we know that, for Gojo, it didn't. Further, it was like an abdication of his place amongst the strongest. He acknowledged that Gojo was capable of forging the world as Geto wanted but never once asks him to join him. This also altered my brain chemistry? Because, as we've seen, Gojo would follow Geto's direction as his moral compass. Down the line, we also know that nothing changed Gojo's perspective on Geto. But Geto never bothered to ask.

Gojo couldn't follow orders and kill Geto. When Geto turns his back to him with a simple "if you want to kill me, kill me. There's meaning in that too," I wonder what went through Gojo's head. But when asked why he let him go, Yaga doesn't need words to understand. We also see that Geto's words, as intended, struck a chord within Gojo. This conversation is especially interesting because we see the flip side of what Geto couldn't consider. With all of Gojo's power, even he knows being strong isn't enough. His technique is famous for what it keeps away which is offset by the fact that Gojo is someone who craves connection.

The fact that cult leader Geto chooses to masquerade as a monk is not surprising, again, he'd been lightly cosplaying all throughout high school. But the fact that Akutami gave him a gojo-gesa? Akutami is a sadist.

The irony of Geto adopting Nanako and Mimiko and Gojo taking in Megumi and Tsumiki is not lost on me. They both tried to protect the youth of Riko and we can see how they understand that they are not allowed protection because they are strong... but then take on children? Geto seems to do so with different intentions, still protecting the weak. Gojo is basically forging his own battle bro and hoping that, by making all subsequent students strong they won't know the loneliness he suffers.

With JJK0, we see that ignoring the orders of elders is actually not at all uncommon for the strongest sorcerer. Whether that be carry out a 10 year death sentence against his bestie or anyone else deemed too powerful to control is really just dependent upon how Gojo feels about it. So he saves those the elders seek to destroy starting with Yuta by finding common ground in their loneliness. He presses forward in the face of the elders because they are "trying to take away the best years of your youth like that. There's no way I'm gonna let them do that. No matter who you are." It's something he knows all too well.

"I've always believed... love manifests the most distorted curses."

Here's what we know of last words and wills in JJK. We can infer that those who receive the last wishes of someone dying are cursed to see them through. We see that with Yuji and his grandfather as pointed out by Yaga. Even Nanami, before passing, worries his last wish would be a curse and a burden to Yuji so he chooses to send him with words of encouragement. Miguel makes a half-assed threat to curse Geto should he die in battle against Gojo. As we see in JJK 0... Yuta, the living, actually cursed the near departed Rika by begging her to stay and it is a manifestation of one of loves most twisted curses.

The fact that, even after 10 years... Geto will arbitrarily change someone's name so it rings a little closer to "Satoru" was one thing. BUT WHEN YOU HEAR THE WAY THE GETO VOICE ACTOR PURRS "SATORU" IN SEASON TWO!? I just- the affection is still there.

THE FACT THAT, EVEN AFTER 10 YEARS, GOJO STILL RECOGNIZES GETO'S RESIDUALS. Let a SatoSugu-anti explain this, please. Heterosexually. Because I've had friends who I've regularly seen over the course of 10 years and I still wouldn't be able to pick the homies out in a scent line up.

Even after 10 years... they still refer to one another on a first name basis. Culturally, it speaks to a comfortable intimacy, wouldn't you think?

As Toge and Panda sprung into action to defend Maki and Yuta, I wonder if it struck a chord of remembrance in Geto. For the times he'd lept to defend Gojo. is that what evoked his tears in that moment?

Their final exchange on paper is bad enough. But the fact that they set it to a musical score called "This Is Pure Love" in the movie?? Get out of my face. Outside of the JJK 0 parameter and nestled within the story around Shibuya, we see that Geto thought that their KFC fight ended their friendship. But we see, through Gojo's trust that Geto wouldn't kill his students and the reciprocation of not killing any of Geto's family members... Gojo's feelings never changed. They still know the inner machinations of one another's minds, even after all this time, but Geto couldn't see that.

Gojo effortlessly makes Geto smile once more with words we still don't know after Geto talks about not being truly happy from the bottom of his heart. Sir, if you don't malewife your way back to Gojo's side and put down the eugenics... SO HELP ME.

In Japan, Christmas Eve is considered one of if not thee most romantic holidays of the year. It's a lover's holiday where Gojo and Geto reunited and Gojo was finally forced to carry out his sentencing. Even so, having been killed with cursed energy, Gojo could not bring himself to destroy the body of his best friend. His one and only. This sentimentality is what leaves Geto's body susceptible to the likes of Kenjaku who works in the shadows and hyper aware of, not only Gojo's affection for Geto as his weakness, but also his ability to intimately recognize his residuals.

The fact that Geto is a recognized weakness for Gojo is known to others at all is what makes me constantly wonder whether Geto was doomed by the narrative.

1. You know people were talking in the TEN YEARS Geto just ran amok. After declaring war, he was so bold as to tell Gojo where he was going and Gojo still couldn't bring himself to follow. I'd be whispering, too. 2. In chapter 79, immediately following the Premature Death/Hidden Inventory arcs, Utahime is with the Tokyo first years following up on Gojo's belief that there's a mole. She specifies two or more people could be a leak and that "one has to be highly ranked, even higher than the principals" 3. Gojo and Geto were essentially the clean up crew for anything other sorcerers couldn't handle, they'd be known to the elders. I wonder if they knew how principled Geto was and exploited that. Lining him up for missions, just so, including the one that caused him to rebuke jujutsu society. Or if, his inflexibility would have always been what got him in the end. Hypothesis: I maintain that Kenjaku and/or someone who was tied to Kenjaku was involved in pulling those strings. Specifically with designs on Geto to get a bead on Gojo. Even if Geto wasn't doomed by the narrative, he was doomed all along by his connection to Gojo.

This isn't expressly a SatoSugu observation but.. the fact that Yuji is concerned about Gojo going into Shibuya alone? It is a SatoSugu observation because it precisely serves Gojo's mission of no one ever having to be alone again. The fact that Yuji still recognizes Gojo as someone who should have back up is so reminiscent of Geto in Okinawa but is also a poignant manifestation of the ideal world Gojo is trying to achieve. Even in this, we see Gojo with his goal in sight long after Geto's will has fizzled away. Imagine what they could have accomplished together.

Specific to the anime, the fact that they animated Gojo akin to the way the devils ran in Devilman Crybaby was both so unserious but also calls upon Akira Fudo's specific experience with power and humanity.

⚠️ Spoiler Warning for plot of Devilman Crybaby.

The imagery evokes the visual of another damned pairing of Akira Fudo and Ryo Asuka (above). Ryo is a white haired prodigy (sound familiar) who, after discovering the existence of devils, tricks Akira (good natured dark haired boy who he met when they were both children) into merging with a devil "to better defend humanity". Akira's purity allows him to maintain his humanity as he subsequently overpowers the devil seeking to possess him but retains his strength and physical prowess (... really familiar). The story devolves into hysteria as humans turn on the Devilman and anyone he's associated with due to fear of the very devils he protects them from. As this happens, the bitter side of humanity rears its ugly head and manifests in torture, paranoia, mob mentality justice and indiscriminate murder, enough that the demons take a break to watch as society crumbles and Akira questions whether humanity is even worth saving. The shit kicker of this whole situation is the fact that Ryo had been in cahoots with the devils all along. In fact, he'd been pulling the strings to eradicate humanity and let devils reign supreme for a very long time as the fallen angel, Satan. His true objective in converting Akira was to thank him for being by his side and because, unbeknownst to him, he was the only person he'd ever loved. He realized this after Akira's death (which he'd caused), of course.

Strongest sorcerer in the world and he is bested by the appearance of the man he shared his youth with. Couldn't have been overpowered by anyone on the board at the time and, with all the information available to him from Six Eyes, the only hope the villains had was to outsmart his heart. Do we realize how insane that is? Mans is a loverboy, for real.

In the anime, the fact that they animated a brief smile as he reconciled that it was actually Geto standing before him before reality hit was just for the sake of emotional damage. PLUS, they somehow made "my Six Eyes tell me you're Suguru Geto. But my soul knows otherwise!" more dramatic by adding "my heart" and that just tells me there are certified SatoSugu shippers on staff.

Kenjaku has been bodyhopping for centuries. But, when confronted with causing Gojo harm, Geto's body is the first to fight against him. Both in his memories entering his mind after changing bodies but also in the way he tried to choke himself. Just as Gojo's soul recognized Geto and not Geto, Geto's soul recognized Gojo's.

Ken!Geto was the last person Gojo saw before being sealed.

As two of the closest people to Geto after his defection, Mimiko and Nanako harbored resentment toward Gojo for killing him but would not seek revenge as even they knew that Gojo was Geto's one and only best friend.

⚠️ Beyond the Animation ⚠️ Spoiler warning for JJK chapters 217-236.

Of Love and Strength

We interrupt this SatoSugu doom scroll to highlight a very pertinent theme that writhes through the cast of the strongest sorcerers. We see it with Kashimo, this restlessness of being the strongest and how others sought him out for his validation because... they admired his strength. Frustrated by the isolation of never finding a worthy fight, he cut them down mercilessly, always seeking a bigger battle. He's not the only reincarnated sorcerer who found second life just to flex on these modern sorcerers (the dude with the pompadour comes to mind right before Yuta called him bitchless). BUT the most interesting comeback is that of Yorozu, possessing Tsumiki, who seeks to prove her love by besting Sukuna in Megumi's meat suit. Through Yorozu's mission, this obsession with strength and equals is contextualized with a romantic undertone. She believes the cure to his loneliness (and I suppose hers) would be forged if she defeated him.

The battle itself even relays their attacks as a form of intimacy. The stakes of the fight are marriage, even though they both intend to kill one another. Yorozu takes offense at being fought with someone else's cursed technique. Even as she use's her Domain Expansion, she is flattered that Sukuna is able to make light work of it saying, "what...? You know all that about me? I'm so happy." It speaks to a familiarity, a consideration that Yorozu seems to be thrilled by. As if, having bared the breadth of their power to one another, that that honesty puts them closer than those who couldn't have made it this far in a fight. Hypothesis: Whoever taught Sukuna about love before and whatever Yorozu gave Sukuna prior to succumbing to the battle is going to raise the stakes down the line because, of course Gege has something else to devastate us after being lulled into a false sense of security. All in all, I think this fight served a larger purpose than burdening Megumi's soul as it showed how pervasive this link between strength and isolation is even back to the Heian period. It's what inspires Gojo's countermission after Geto defects but, prior to their split, we see the express knowledge of one another which implied an earnest connection. What I find funny is the fact that all these other characters assess their equals in these knockdown blow out fights but Gojo and Geto just... existed in harmony, acknowledging one another without all that? Away from Geto, we see Gojo is freest when he can go all out against Toji and Sukuna. Even with Sukuna, he believed his fists and power to be a means to earnestly communicate that he, too, knew that loneliness well. I include all this to say that it had to have been really sad to have finally found your equal, someone you chose to be by your side... only for them to leave and for you to never fill the gap that they left. This isolation was so despairing that he wished to liberate even his foes of it.

To not mention Shoko voicing her annoyance at Gojo's belief system centering not leaving anyone alone while she was beside him the whole time is a necessary trio inclusion. This is not commentary on the official translation that suggests Shoko's in love with one of them. Instead, this is a testament to the fact that, at the end of the day, Gojo felt alone if Geto wasn't beside him. Where one could argue Geto's mission was informed by a number of factors, re: protecting the future of people like Riko, preventing the sacrifice of people like Haibara, negating the abuse/bigotry experienced by Nanako and Himiko and lessening the burden on people like Gojo and himself, Gojo's sole motivation has always had Geto and/or what happened with Geto in mind. Shoko living in the reality of Gojo's vision gives me a bit of the sad, too.

Upon finally being unsealed from the prison realm and with the imposter Ken!Geto being the last face he saw, his first inclination is to track down Geto's body rather than reuniting with everyone else [that's left].

Mourning Geto's body is also imminently on Gojo's to do list pre-Sukuna fight.

When given the opportunity to pick the date of his fight with Sukuna... Gojo picks Christmas Eve, the anniversary of Geto's death. Once more, this is a lovers' holiday that even Kenjaku mocks upon hearing the selection.

"We seek not to be born on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. We merely hope to die on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. May the Gods of Heaven and Earth attest to what is in our hearts. If we should ever do anything to betray our friendship, may heaven and the people of the earth both strike us dead." -Romance of the Three Kingdoms

Let's just let that marinate.

At the end of Gojo's life... Geto's is the first face he sees. Still, in his mind, the cherry atop the satisfying fight with Sukuna would have been Geto being among those congratulating him. Not high school Geto as we see him in this afterlife. But cult leader Geto who Gojo never once lost affection for. Truly maddening.

I was going to include stuff from the light novels and the OP and EP's (since there are so many visual easter eggs in season 2) but this got to be really long and kind of just an obsessive retelling of events so.. if you've made it this far, you are probably crazy like me. In which case, I am sorry.

[lilithofpenandbook]

you mentioned lucius malfoy/james potter parallels in the tags of a post... would you be interested in elaborating? 👀

Gladly!

This is more of a vibes thing, really, and a sort of train of thought based from the original message of Lucius Malfoy (or that I took from him anyway).

You don't need to be a good person to love someone.

James Potter was, objectively speaking, not a good person. His entire school life was spent in him bullying people and hexing them if he didn't like them, and it's on official record that he used an illegal hex to swell someone's head up to twice its size (along with Sirius Black). The more you look into him, the worse he looks. Unlike Sirius, who was just as bad if not worse (see: werewolf prank. At least James drew the line with death... which shouldn't even be the bare minimum, dear goodness), James does not have the claim of 'childhood trauma' (even Sirius' claim of childhood trauma may not be as severe as fandom likes to believe) to explain why he's so horrible and give him any sympathy, as oppossed to Severus, who's so traumatised that practically all his characteristics are trauma responses at this point. James had everything he wanted, yet still chose to be a horrible person. His 'maturing' means nothing too, as that's entirely inaction, deciding not to be an arse. Not very difficult for him, you see. And considering the way Sirius was behaving in his mid thirties, especially regarding Severus Snape, and how the two are paired by the narrative, and written as very similar to each other, I do believe James's 'maturity' was limited to him just not actively hexing people (especially regarding Severus, Sirius outright admitted Severus was a 'special case').

Along with the 'not a good person' part, the other thing that aligns James with Lucius is him mirroring Draco. This has been mentioned by many people before, but to summarise, James mirrors Draco almost word for word in his first meeting with Severus and Lily. Insulting Slytherin, with an 'I would rather leave', just like how Draco said 'I would rather leave' about Hufflepuff. There's also them bullying the poor kid (Draco insulted and belittled Ron, and James did the same to Severus) while the other kid stood up to them (Lily stood up to James, Harry stood up to Draco). Both these scenes mirror each other so well they cannot be coincidental- James is intended to be seen as another version of Draco . These mirroring scenes are supposed to establish that without having to go into far too much detail about James.

Okay, so we have James canonically being an awful person, and James canonically being a mirror of Draco. But that's Draco Malfoy. Why then, do I think that Lucius as a parent is what James would have been as a parent, where their parallels come in?

It's in Lucius's message. You can be an awful person yet a loving parent. And while I am firm on the fact that James Potter was an awful person, and I rather obviously do not like him, I also acknowledge the fact that he did love people. He did, after all, welcome Sirius into his home at the age of 16 and was his safe space, and he and the others did become anamagi for Remus (however I can't be sure on how entirely selfless that was, I rather suspect they realised how much mischief they could get into and how much fun it would be for them to run about with a werewolf), and although he was apparently sneaking out when he should have been in hiding with his wife and baby, I don't doubt that he did love them, and I don't doubt that he truly was in love with Lily (even if his methods of courtship were from questionable to downright harrassment and creepy at points). So here we have James Potter, awful person who did love people, a lot like Lucius. That's how I thought of the parallel, as they essentially have that same message of how awful people can still have geniune love for their family.

And I do think if James raised Harry, he would have been a parent like Lucius- or to be more accurate, Harry would have grown up to be like Draco, who is undoubtably the result of Lucius and Narcissa's parenting. And no, I'm not talking about the obvious closeness between Draco and Lucius (although that would also be true) where Draco was comfortable enough to tell his father everything and Voldemort, despite not understanding love, knew that using Draco would hurt Lucius.

What I'm talking about is the arrogance. The entitlement. The way Draco does bad things to people he doesn't like. The spoilt bratty behaviour. That is what the parallels are between Lucius and James. James Potter would have completely spoilt Harry, just like Lucius spoilt Draco. There's also the impression Severus has of Harry; he thinks he's reckless, arrogant, and spoilt, based on what James was like. Again, to me that suggests that James would have raised Harry to be like himself, which is a lot like Draco, who is a result of Lucius's parenting.

So, yes, I do believe Lucius could be what James Potter would have grown up to be as a father, especially in how their sons were raised, with the exception of the blood-purist beliefs. Of couse, James as a person is also a lot like Sirius, but then again perhaps Sirius and Lucius aren't entirely unlike either. They are the same type of people, after all, raised in the same environment, and Sirius's proud pro-muggle beliefs mean nothing when you look at his action. And both Lucius and James do embody the same thing: awful people can be loving parents. Sirius, in a way, does also embody this however he also shows that love isn't enough. Specifically, love isn't enough to be a good parent. It's undenaible that he loved Harry. However that didn't always mean he was the best to Harry (I'd argue he was cruel at times and Harry had to be the adult in that relationship- if Sirius had raised Harry, Harry would have been parentified in my opinion at a very young age- but that's a whole other can of worms, haha). Both love and selfishness can exist, and Sirius was selfish more than not, and love isn't enough to make you a good parent. Nor is being a good person enough to guarantee you're a good parent, as we see from Molly, who loved her kids dearly and was incredibly kind to Harry however she didn't always make the best choices for her children.

And neither is being an awful person a bar to being a loving parent.

But a loving parent is also necessarily being a good parent is debatable too. Considering Draco was still arrogant and bullied other people and looked down on muggleborns, perhaps once again love isn't enough to be a good parent for entirely different reasons than Sirius's love not being enough to make him a good parent.

[pharaohbean]

with or without me

original upload: december 21st, 2024 on ao3

summary: " "Hey, Toya-kun," Akiyama nudged him with a grin. "Let's pick something for each other, yeah? We can reconvene at the dressing rooms right over there when we're done, okay?" Toya thought for a minute, putting a hand to his chin to physically convey to Akiyama that he was thinking (they didn't freeze up this time, so he considered it a success). "Alright, but I can't promise you it'll be to your tastes." "That's part of the fun!" Was Akiyama's final words before they disappeared into the abyss of clothes. "

A week after Mizuki returns to school after their sudden prolonged disappearance, they ask Toya to hang out one day. "Twinkling and twinkling, life begins to shine."

tags: Akiyama Mizuki & Aoyagi Touya | Fluff and Angst, Fluff, Angst, Shopping, no beta we die like nagi, takes place post-ena5, How Do I Tag, been here for a while still not much of a clue LOL, a LOT of in-depth outfit descriptions, its like. a fourth of the fic ngl

warnings: none

author's note: we are SO back /ref this was a request from my good friend!! she requested mizutoya hanging out after ena5 and it got… Out Of Hand /pos i hope you all enjoy!!

When Asahina Mafuyu—the honors third-year from Miyamasuzuka Girl's Academy—approached Toya one day, the singer didn't think much of it, nor of her request about what had happened to Akiyama. He told her what he knew, about the supplemental classes he knew they'd have to take, but didn't hear anything else past that. Even when Akiyama returned to school soon after, they didn't really want to talk about what had happened.

There was one thing Toya could tell, though: a weight had been lifted from their shoulders, and whatever it had been, Toya was glad to see it gone. And if Akiyama didn't want to talk about it, then he wouldn't pry.

A week passed like this since Akiyama's return, and Vivid BAD SQUAD's trip to America was being planned in full-force. Toya found himself swamped in the finer details, being the only member who had any idea what international travel was like—getting Akito and Azusawa passports was going to be a nightmare, he could already tell. Sure, Taiga-san and Ken-san were helping plan out the trip and pay for tickets and whatnot, and even his own parents were offering the passing piece of advice, but he was the one his teammates and the VIRTUAL SINGERS were going to for questions.

Toya ran a hand through his hair, already feeling a migraine coming on. If he was this physically bad, that was a sign that he needed to take a step back. But step back and do what, he asked himself. This is all we can think about... All I can think about.

"Toya-kun~"

Toya flinched, suddenly shaken out of his thoughts by the voice of his classmate. When he reoriented himself, he looked up into Akiyama's concerned eyes. "Are you okay?" They asked, grabbing a chair to swing around in front of Toya's desk. "The bell rang like, five minutes ago..."

"Ah..." Toya grabbed his bag from the side of his table and began packing his stuff away. "I was lost in my thoughts. Thank you for letting me know, Akiyama."

They let out a hum, but said nothing else except staring at him with an intensity they only got around Ena-san. "Hey... Toya-kun?"

"Hmm?" Moon-silver eyes flickered up to pale-sakura eyes.

"Do you want to go somewhere after school?" They smiled lightly, a note of sadness and guilt hanging on their lips and in their eyes. Toya's movements paused for a moment as he ran through his itinerary for the day. He should— "It's okay if you have something with Otouto-kun and An and Kohane-chan, though! You guys are so busy with preparing to go to America and everything. And... I understand if you don't want to... hang out with me..." Their voice trailed off as they looked away, frowning sadly.

Oh, did they mistake his pause for hesitation of being in their presence? "I always like spending time with you, Akiyama," he said, closing and clicking his bag shut. "I was just mentally going over my schedule for today." Akiyama perked up, looking at him again. "I'd love to hang out with you. Do you have a place in mind?"The way Akiyama perked up, their smile returning to their face made Toya not regret the decision to cancel on the others in the slightest (note to self: send Vivid BAD SQUAD a text on his way that he wouldn't make it to crase cafe that afternoon). "Yup~! Just follow me, Toya-kun!"

Akiyama had taken the two of them to the mall—specifically, a little clothing store tucked away, deep within the mall.

"I hope it's okay that I brought us here, I haven't been here in a little while and wanted to see if anything new was in stock," Akiyama smiled sheepishly. Toya shook his head, a soft smile on his own lips.

"It's no problem, I'm a little curious myself. Akito's always been the one determining what I wear, so it'll be interesting to see what else is out there."

"Oh~? Otouto-kun does your outfits for you?" Akiyama's smile turned into a teasing grin. (For once,) Toya picked up on what they were trying to convey, and waved them off with a sigh.

"When I first entered the scene on Vivid Street, I didn't... exactly have any attire appropriate for it," he explained as Akiyama opened the door for him. "When we first partnered up, one of the first things Akito did was get me some street clothes. Even though we barely knew each other, he picked out something I immediately liked. So from then on, he just... keeps giving me clothes."

"Heh, I see," Akiyama breathed, following Toya through. They gave a quick hello to the manager at the front, before dropping their voice low. "When I was younger, I didn't always pursue the cute style, y'know. It was my sister who encouraged me to wear what I wanted. She even gave me this ribbon," she gestured to the ribbon tying up their hair then with a forlorn smile, "as a parting gift."

Toya smiled in return, grateful for the little bit of their heart they'd shown him, then took a proper look around the store. It seemed in this store, all kinds of fashion styles intersected and blended together. Whoever stocked this store had a good eye for each branch of clothing, while also displaying what was "in" at the time. Stocked nearly from top to bottom in a tiny little store, there were myriad of choices for the singer to consider.

"Hey, Toya-kun," Akiyama nudged him with a grin. "Let's pick something for each other, yeah? We can reconvene at the dressing rooms right over there when we're done, okay?"

Toya thought for a minute, putting a hand to his chin to physically convey to Akiyama that he was thinking (they didn't freeze up this time, so he considered it a success). "Alright, but I can't promise you it'll be to your tastes."

"That's part of the fun!" Was Akiyama's final words before they disappeared into the abyss of clothes. Toya blinked, suddenly feeling significantly more lost without their presence, before the singer turned around and began exploring the shop in the other direction. He wandered up and down the various aisles, peering into every little nook and cranny and examining every article of clothing he found, especially the ones with lighter colors that Toya knew Akiyama loved. Despite being situated inside an incredibly busy mall, the shop saw no other customers in their entire time there, nor did the manager disturb them outside of giving Toya a nod when he caught their eye.

Finally, after a really long time in the shop (Toya didn't want to check the time lest he discover it was something absurd, like dinnertime, or worse), Toya had narrowed down his choices to two different dresses, both sitting on the floor on the other side of the shop from the dressing rooms. One was a black and white dress, with puffed sleeves, a checkered corset, a multi-layered skirt similar to a rose's petals with black framing and white ribbons overlaying it, and mismatching full-length boots. Red fabric was scattered all over the dress, as if blood seeping out from opened wounds, and a black blindfold with a fake red-to-white rose was initially placed on top of the full outfit that Toya had taken it as well.

The singer knew that Akiyama had a dress similar to this (more of the barebones of a dress so intricate like this, and significantly more pink), and thus had pulled it out off of that basis. Additionally, he knew Akiyama would appreciate the blindfold; he had heard them joking with Shiraishi and Kamishiro-senpai, upon seeing the former's outfit for their Gekokujou release and the latter's outfit for his group's Cyberpunk Dead Boy release, about how they were like the three monkeys—Shiraishi was "hear no evil," Kamishiro-senpai was "speak no evil," so thus Akiyama should be "see no evil."

However, the more Toya stared at the bleeding monochrome outfit, the more unsettled he became by it. He didn't know why, but he just felt that it wasn't a good choice for Akiyama despite the fact that he knew fashionably they would appreciate the thought—could it be the red peering out of different places around the outfit, as if the outfit itself was ripped at the seams, that made him so uncomfortable? Or could it be the black frame looking too similar to a spider's web, or the ribbons seemingly haphazardly holding some of the rips together?

With a shake of his head, trying to clear his head of the spiraling dark thoughts, he put the first outfit back where he initially found it, making sure it was properly folded and restored to its original state. With that ruled out, he turned to his second and final choice, still lying on the floor, as if attempting to be innocent of the other's unknown crimes like it itself was guilty of them.

This dress was a discolored white (on the green spectrum, Toya's mind unhelpfully supplied) with quarter sleeves and a much longer, yet less poofy skirt. Faded tea-green decorated the sleeves and edges of the dress, ruffles acting to give the dress some volume. Around the collar was a pair of intricate butterfly's wings, the right side having been lined with pale-golden lines and colored with an opalescent hue. The waist had two butterfly wings wrapping all the way around, connecting to the large translucent sakura-pale bow with white detailing, permanently sewn on the back of the dress and reaching even further down than the skirt of the dress. The bottom of the dress scrunched in a little to allow the sakura flowers at the bottom be properly displayed; down the front-left side of the dress, a thick stripe of fade tea-green stretched down, with a sakura-pale ribbon woven over the top half to act as a replacement liner of sorts, ending in a nice bow. On the other side of the dress, a little print of sakura flowers and their leaves and vines came alive. Paired with white Mary Janes that had tiny little white flowers on their upper rim, sakura-pale ankle socks, and an artificial yoka as a headpiece made the outfit complete.

Toya gave the entire dress another once-over before smiling and nodding to himself. He folded it up and gathered all the pieces in his arms then trotted over to the dressing rooms.

"There you are!" Akiyama perked up, a set of clothes settled next to them on the silver bench. "You were taking a while, I was worried you got lost!"

"Sorry, it took me a while to determine which one I thought would look best on you," Toya smiled apologetically. Akiyama waved him off with a wink and a smile.

"I was just messing with you, don't worry! Now, lemme see what you picked! This here," they patted the clothes beside them, "is my outfit for you! Go try it on, okay?"

Toya nodded, handing Akiyama the dress in his arms, with all its pieces included, then took the pile beside them. He ducked into the dressing room, locked the door behind him, and took a deep breath. He let a few moments pass him by, trying to calm his fast-beating heart (why was it so nervous? It was a dress, and Akiyama already said it was okay if he didn't get it quite right) before examining the clothes offered to him.

On the top of the pile was a pair of dangling silver earrings and a silver glasses frame, a black belt, and black dress shoes. Toya set the smaller articles aside and unfolded the primary clothing items. First was the navy button-up shirt; when he opened it up, he was surprised to see gold, cyan, and bright blue flowers on parts of the arms and roughly half of his torso, the two halves of the shirt clearly separated by the solid stripe for the line of buttons going down. Under the shirt was a pair of white slacks that seemed perfect for any formal occasion, but when Toya looked closer he saw the brass buttons on the sides of the bottom of the legs and the slits on the outside revealing more of that multi-flower pattern "underneath" the pant legs.

Akiyama knows my tastes well, Toya thought idly as he pulled off his tie, blazer, and shirt. It's very similar to the outfit that MEIKO recommended to us for our blender photoshoot. Toya remembered that outfit pretty well—specifically, he remembered how much he enjoyed wearing it, and how saddened (strangely?) he was when he had to return it to the photographer. Did Shiraishi tell them, I wonder...

Before Toya realized it, he had assembled the main pieces of the outfit and found himself staring in the mirror. He smiled at himself in the mirror, remembering how important blender was to him and what it and the outfit of the photoshoot—and, somehow, this outfit too—meant to him. He grabbed the dress shoes and swapped out his shoes (despite the fact they were near-identical, Toya didn't want to slouch on any part of the outfit Akiyama had assembled for him), then slid the silver frames over his eyes. He grabbed the silver earrings (all clip-ons, his unpierced ears cried out in relief) and attached them, and slid the black belt through the belt loops. Just before he was going to slide the leftover belt through the loops again, however, he remembered what the photographer did the first time and decided to leave the extra belt hanging down the front. He pulled out his silver necklace from under his shirt and rummaged through the front pockets of his schoolbag for the extra rings he kept on hand (all from someone near and dear to him, but he couldn't handle the feeling of two rings clanking against each other on his fingers so he simply traded them out as he felt). Sliding a few extra on, steeling himself for the annoying metal-on-metal, he took a deep breath and examined his outfit one more time. With a determined nod, he opened the door and stepped back out.

Akiyama stood up from where they were on the bench, their eyes sparkling bright as they took in Toya's full appearance. "You look absolutely stunning, Toya-kun! I knew I made the right decision when I picked this outfit."

"Thank you, Akiyama." A smile tugged at Toya's lips despite the flush that was threatening to spread across his cheeks simultaneously. "But why haven't you put on your own outfit?"

"I wanted to check my work first and see that I was still on-top of my game!" Akiyama stepped a little closer and reached up to Toya's face; he closed his eyes as they adjusted his glasses and straightened out his hair. He muttered a quiet "thank you" as they grabbed his wrists lightly and adjusted his sleeves a little. They stepped back and took Toya in again, then nodded with a grin. "Yup! Still got it!"

"You should put on your own outfit, Akiyama." Toya folded his arms. They chuckled, waving him off with a "yes, yes~" as they gathered the clothes and stepped into the other dressing room. Toya let out a quiet sigh, smiling all the while, then went to change back into his school clothes, taking off all the additional accessories. He refolded everything and placed all the articles and accessories on the bench next to him. He pulled out his phone and began checking up on the various Nightcord servers he was in.

Some time later (Toya wasn't too sure, sometimes he got a little sucked in trying to figure out what the heck was going on online sometimes) the door of Akiyama's claimed dressing room creaked open a little. Toya perked up, putting his phone away.

"Akiyama?" He quietly called out when the door didn't open further after a few moments. "Everything alright?"

"Mm... mhm." Their reply was a lot quieter than Toya expected; had he messed up somehow? "Sorry, I just had to get my bearings."

"Take all the time you need," Toya reassured. Akiyama took a deep breath then opened their door all the way and walked out.

They held themselves carefully, somewhat smaller than Toya expected, as if they were made of glass. They wouldn't meet his eyes and played with the hair ornament in their hands, which brought Toya's attention to the most striking detail of all. "Do I look okay...?" They muttered.

Toya stood up and gently took the hair ornament from Akiyama's hands; with their eyes on him, watching his every move shakily, he carefully moved up to their shorter-than-usual hair. He pinned it carefully on the side of their head then took a step back. "It looks amazing, Akiyama. How did you get it so short? Did you...?"

"Ahaha, no," they smiled awkwardly. "I used a bunch of pins to tuck the longer parts of my hair underneath itself, so it all seems shorter than it actually is..."

"Well, it was a good choice as it looks wonderful. Your fashion sense is unparalleled," Toya commented, giving them a small smile. "I wouldn't have thought of such a little detail, but it really does change everything about the outfit."

"Well, you have such short hair so you wouldn't have needed to think about it!" Akiyama grinned, most of the nerves having washed off their body—a few lingered, but Toya could tell they were returning to their old self.

"I really like the outfit you got for me, you know. I think I'll get it. Do you think you'll get this dress?"

"Hehe, I'm glad I picked something of Toya-kun's tastes~ ...It's a little different from my usual style, and it's pretty pricey for someone like me, but... I really like this dress."

"Then I'll pay. Go get changed so I can take it to the register."

"Wh— Huh—?! Hey, Toya-kun?! You don't have to push!! I can get changed in a timely manner, you know!"

Despite their panicked words and his forceful motions, laughter bubbled out from the two of them.

"That was super fun... Thanks for coming with me, Toya-kun," Mizuki said after sipping on the bubble tea in their hand. They had insisted on paying for something, and when Toya-kun idly mentioned he'd very rarely had any kind of bubble tea Mizuki was determined to rectify that. So here the two of them were, walking back to Mizuki's place with bubble teas in hand and stomach and the setting sun behind them.

"Of course. As I said, I always like spending time with you. Don't ever be afraid to ask me to hang out with you; I'm sure Shiraishi and Akito feel the same way."

Mizuki laughed quietly for a moment before realizing that their classmate wasn't kidding. "...Thanks, Toya-kun."

Toya-kun smiled at them, then turned back to sipping on his bubble tea; Mizuki mirrored him, subtly leading him to their place as they turned down roads and waited at lights; comfortable silence hung between the two of them, Mizuki, at the very least, lost in their thoughts. As they turned into Mizuki's subdivision, Toya-kun spoke quietly.

"Akiyama?" He began, waiting a beat for their eyes to flicker to his. "I don't know what happened, but... If you need someone to talk to about whatever happened while you were gone, you can talk to me. I'll wait for you as long as you need, so please think about it."

"You don't have to tell me if you really can't right now... But that doesn't mean I'm giving up! I don't want to see you with that awful look on your face, and I want to help you in whatever way I can... So please, tell me when you feel you're ready. I'll be waiting until then."

The absurdity of it all, it almost had Mizuki laughing.

"Akiyama?"

Oh, they were actually laughing. Oops. Mizuki cut off their laughter and looked up at Toya-kun again; his eyes were filled with concern and worry, but no matter how much Mizuki stared and peered and searched his moon-silver eyes, nowhere in there could Mizuki find someone who would abandon or hurt or talk behind them.

"Sorry, it's just that... Ena promised me the same thing, y'know." Mizuki turned away from Toya-kun to stare down the road, noticing how close they were to their place. Our time together is about to end... I know I'll see Toya-kun again tomorrow if I show up at school, but I don't want to say "goodbye" or even "see you later" today. We'll see each other a lot in the following days, weeks, months, and years as our lives move forward, but... Will I ever be able to tell them? Could I tell Toya-kun, or An or otouto-kun or Rui, or all the people in my life? Can I do something, still? Or will I...

Mizuki shook their head, dispelling the thoughts. They stopped in their tracks and put their arms behind their back, a mischievous grin falling over their lips. "Hey, Toya-kun! Do you want to have dinner with my parents and sister? My sis is in town for once, and I'm sure she'd be delighted to meet you!"

"Wouldn't she want to meet someone like Ena-san or Asahina-san first, though...?" Toya-kun tilted his head. Mizuki waved his concerns off, much to his amused bemusement.

"I want her to meet all my friends! Who she meets first isn't important, just as long as she meets you all!" Mizuki looked away sheepishly. "...Also she already met them a few months ago, the last time she was here."

"I see," Toya-kun drawled, giving them a half-patronizing half-mirthful look. "Well, in that case I'd be delighted to meet your family."

"Perfect! C'mon, I'm sure Mom's making way too much food for us four anyways; she always does that when sis comes home." Mizuki began running towards their house. Behind them, they could hear Toya-kun's startled shouts and rushed footsteps as he tried to catch up to them. They looked back and gave him a big grin, nearly barreling into a lamp post in the process. They stopped to calm their heart, in which time Toya-kun caught up to them, out of breath. They looked at each other and began laughing, walking normally the short distance to Mizuki's place.

I don't know if I can tell you today, Toya-kun, or tomorrow, or the next week or the week after, or in the following months and even years. But one of these days, I'll tell you, and everyone else too. I'll tell you the secret I've been hiding, just like how I told the rest of my group. I'll tell you just like I told my sister and parents. I'll tell you and hope and pray you really meant what you said. Like that song I saw: "Even if I know it won't come true, even if the world has already ended, even with or without me, still—"

"I have to do something, still." So just wait for me, okay?

[bonny-kookoo]

Kaleidoscope: Heart

Tags/Warnings: Alien! Jungkook, Alien!Jimin, Alien!Yoongi, Human!Reader, strangers to lovers, poly!AU, tentacles (lord forgive me for I will sin), long tongues and sharp teeth and horns and tails and who's even surprised anymore?

Additional Chapter Warnings: soft, fluff, so much fluff

Length: short

Other content: Intro, Bonding

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

After a few weeks of living together, everyone has gotten used to your ways of communication, your ways of putting each of them in some sort of role for you. It's very interesting to observe you each day, your behavior sometimes oddly charming in its own unique ways.

In short; you're just really cute.

Yoongi is also very much happy about the fact that you seem to actively seek him out for help nowadays, the wall of wariness finally overcome as he's become your first choice if anything starts to confuse or overwhelm you. Seasonal storms outside? If you don't want to sleep alone you can always sneak into Yoongis bed, even if the others are home too (they will actively cuddle you no questions asked). Can't read something in a store, but it looks interesting? Just pull on his sleeve, and make sure to point it out, and he will in detail try to explain to you what it is you're wondering about.

Jungkook at this point, has become a protector of sorts. The world outside can be scary, especially with all the new things you're experiencing, like traffic and seasonal festivals. Fear instantly glues you to his side, but his presence also boosts your curiosity; if he approaches something with no signs of worry, then you will go along as well, no questions asked. It makes Yoongi always keen on keeping an eye out for you both however; since Jungkook sometimes does forget that there's things he can easily deal with that could very much prove to be fatal- like certain foods or heights for example. You don't have the assistance of a tail and extra appendages to secure you on higher levels, nothing there to break your fall if you were to loose balance at any point.

And Jimin takes the full role of a more caring person for you.

Be it by making sure you take your vitamins and supplements every day, to keeping track of your doctors appointments; Jimin has it all together it seems. And while he takes great care of your physical body, he also makes sure to care for your mental health as well. His kind, after all, always thrives towards perfect balance in mind and body, so he makes sure you always know that with them, you're safe and protected and always cared for. Safety is an important factor to heal; and he knows, there's much for you to heal from.

"She sleeps a lot." Jungkook mumbles almost disappointed, watching you nap on the blankets laid out for you on the living room floor by Yoongi a few days earlier. You seem to appreciate that greatly, finally resting wherever, whenever- no longer worried of any danger with them around. "Is that normal?" He wonders, tapping your nose.

"Yeah, Humans do generally need around 7 hours of sleep at that age." Jimin nods, while Yoongi clicks his tongue.

"Jungkook, leave her be." He scolds, making the youngest alien in the room almost pout.

"But, why do those tiny bodies need so much rest. It doesn't make sense!" He says, sitting up now close to you while you stretch, before turning around and curling into a different position.

Jimin shrugs from the side, joining you on the blanket pile. "They're simply different. And considering everything, I'm glad she feels finally safe enough to be as vulnerable as right now around us." He hums with a small smile.

"True." Yoongi nods. "I didn't think she'd become so relaxed so quickly." He says more or less to himself.

"Well, we're simply the best mates ever." Jungkook scoffs. "So no surprise there."

"You're so cocky." Jimin teases, before he lays down close to you.

"No come on, you can't be serious." Jungkook whines, watching his mate pull you close to him before he closes his eyes. And much to his disagreement, yoongi joins in not long after. "Seriously?" He growls impatiently, making both aliens laugh a little to themselves while hugging you in one way or another.

"You're stupid." Jungkook huffs, though he does join in as well.

And ends up sleeping just as long as you, in fact.

[luzlopesarts]

This is not an update to the Comic, but it still has something to do with it !!!

(call it a little gift for the Wish Rewrite and KoW fandom)

Hello my little stars! How are you?

I mentioned in the last post in the series that I would be traveling for a week or two and that's why I wouldn't be working. Well I'm still traveling Lmao.

It's been a lot of fun, I'm visiting my Prince Charming and family, both of whom I haven't been to in a long time. Still, I couldn't stop thinking about KoW and Wish's Concept Arts. Disney sealed the fate of its fan artists by discarding so much good material, now they are embedded in our minds and we will not be able to rest until we see them realized. This is crazy but it's beautiful to see how much these discarded concepts generated creative potential in the fandom.

Because of all this I couldn't help but make some small sketches! And well, I came to show them here. They are not sketches of Comic panels, but they have something to do with it and I will show the photos and explain how.

This first one, very faded, are Magnificent and Amable's clothes (designed by @uva124, for the characters in @annymation's rewrite of Wish "The Kingdom of Wishes"). The drawings that Aled did are very complex, I don't judge her for that, in fact I thank her, she gave beautiful clothes to the centuries-old Disney villains and they are perfect. I really wish I could draw them with all the details, but I will do everything by hand, alone and seeking a minimally professional quality (I want to be a comic artist/book illustrator one day. This comic is my first step Lmao, and I want to do something that conveys the best I can give at the moment), so I need to make some things easier for myself. The costumes are one of those things.

" Better something simple and well done than complex and poorly done." — This is my motto for this Comic and for my life.

The next sketches are related to aesthetics. I've been watching a lot of "Analyzing the Art" videos of some Disney films and I was inspired to adopt some "Disney Style" features in my arts for this comic (not everything obviously, because I don't want to be sued by Disney lmao).

What you'll see next is me trying to mix this influence with my own style in some KoW character sketches.

(this last art specifically references a meme in which @rascalentertainments tagged me, Thanks for that, by the way! <3 )

(credits to the artist, I don't know who it is because I was just tagged in this meme and I was busy So I didn't look for more information, but I'll leave the post link and you can check the official credits)

Speaking of aesthetics. Anny received Chiara's aesthetic from someone — the north star, "daughter of Aster", created by his magic at the very end of Anny's fanfic. This Aesthetic inspired me to create an aesthetic for Asha and Aster too and these were the results:

What's your favorite?

Lmao, It took a lot of work to make Aster's. There are almost no things for "starboys" on Pinterest.

I'm leaving this up to you to share as you wish, consider it a gift to the fandom!

Lastly, I want to say that the artistic analysis videos They also inspired me to put together a moodboard for KoW and I'll be leaving it here. Not even Anny and Aled know about this and I can't wait to see their reactions! I wish I could print this painting and leave it on the wall, but unfortunately I don't have a printer T-T.

This moodboard is helping me with the artistic direction of colors, style and is a visual motivation to stay active at work.

I hope you like it too!

That's it for today, it's already midnight in Brazil and I should be sleeping instead of posting crazy things on the internet. I'm going to tag my friends and go to sleep, Lmao.

Kisses full of light and stars!

~ Emy

@wings-of-sapphire @flicklikesstuff @frogcoven88 @chillwildwave @gracebethartacc @gracebethartacc @kstarsarts @oh-shtars Come and get your therapies after the anguish caused by certain publications by Anny!

[timeregistry]

omg dude i love ur sebastian!!!

and if u want, i’ll tag u when i post my painter design

i’d also like to hear more of ur ramblings about pressure or anything of the sort :3

have a good day!!!

TYSM!!! I'm glad people like him 🥹He's been my everything since I got into Pressure, let's just say that the AU of my fic had lived in my brain since forever before I started writing LOL

OH and also I would ADORE to see your Painter design PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I LOVE PAINTER SM I LOVE ALL PAINTER DESIGNS

ALSO sorry for answering this so late I got injured (again...) and it was hard to write but also I’m INSANE like IM CRAZY you literally put on a silver platter that I can talk about ANYTHING like DUDE. IM CRAZY. I jump around fandoms a lot so to say that I have a lot on my mind apart from work is an understatement (let's just say earlier I went crazy about regretevator...... it's bad)

SO to organize my thoughts, I've been really wanting to actually talk about like... some thought process stuff of my fic (A Human's Touch) and things that happen before the fic... since SO MUCH happened but I don't mention it because we are put at a specific moment in the story... VERY VERY Sebastian and reader focused so TW: Sebastian Solace 😔

Under cut because its LONG. LIKE. REALLY LONG. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT LMAOOOO

SO pressure's lore is a MESS don't get me started on how I feel about the current lore so I decided that since no one really saw the timeline or pretends it doesn't exist as they should, I feel it's a bit unlikely Sebastian would be able to convince Painter to start killing people after meeting it TWENTY MINUTES PRIOR T_T (and hacking all of Urbanshade network in that time?!) so that's why I actually made (in chapter 7 that is not on tumblr rn LOL) them meet. I mentioned in a comment on AO3 since someone had asked smth about Sebastian and just to give an idea, the start of A Human's Touch happens a couple of months before the events of Pressure. SO at that point, Sebastian and Painter have known each other for months. I would LOVE to go into detail how I see their relationship is when the lockdown happens + what happens with reader but I DONT WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING T_T so maybe when I finish the fic I'll go into detail as I'm not actually really planning on writing the actual like.... events of pressure w/ reader instead I guess, idk how to put it, just to let you in a little secret, Painter does know part of Sebastian's plan when the lockdown happens in this universe.

So enough about Pressure lore and what I changed from that, I wanted to talk a bit about before the events of the fic... I didn't write it since I felt it would be very Sebastian and reader centric and since it was most likely going to be in a platonic sense I wasn't sure if people would be interested! To admit something since I don't imagine many people will read this but originally I had written a fic that was with Sebastian (it was more romance with him tho as I was down HORRENDOUS I wrote so much Sebastian y’all have no idea I got jumpscared trying to find some of my old things to reference and seeing the sheer amount of Sebastian) which was actually where the original summary of A Human's Touch came from HELPPPP LIKE ORIGINALLY IT WAS A PARAGRAPH OF MY FIC I JUST EDITED IT T_T I never post what I write I'm surprised that I even posted A Human's Touch but I digress. Anyways I had originally considered writing a platonic version of that fic (not like that one was finished) but in the end I never did since again, I didn't think anyone would read it--

Either way, here is a TLDR of how reader and Sebastian met. Basically reader came in as an intern to Urbanshade right? How I imagined it was that they actually had seen Sebastian when he was still in his big ol heavy containment aquarium. While I think he still needs to go there when Urbanshade wants to contain him, I imagine reader met him when he was MOSTLY in there... While he could leave as his status as an MR-P made it so that now he could leave and free-roam, I imagined that he never really saw a reason to do so... I think atp Urbanshade hadn't really found a good reason for him either, as he was soo unpredictable because of how aggressive he was with them. SO they just leave him in his cell basically, its good to see if there were any longer terms effects of his… condition. He would normally just look into the window and look at any of the scientists.

Now how I imagined his heavy containment cell was that like, an aquarium. Like there is this big window where you can see him but I imagine that he had this like area at the surface of his cell that there is like a walking area but it was specifically because not only is he an MR-P so its like a little better than his old cell but also because he was exactly for an experiment that was to make humans be able to breathe over and underwater so I like to think they want him to take in oxygen naturally anyways–

MS Paint jumpscare but something like this

ANYWAYS I imagine reader had seen him from the window that you can peak in from just him swimming around and being completely fascinated by him. Stuff happens, and they decide to try to see him without their superiors knowing so... I decided I would pull directly from one of my old fics:

You first met Sebastian fully at night, when most scientists were already resting in their own quarters. You were already shown where you would stay, yet you couldn’t get the image of Sebastian out of your mind. You wanted to meet him directly. He was the first of the subjects that you met, against all safety protocols and you remember he himself mentioning it. He was rude and in all ways, a certified asshole, immediately tricking you by making you walk a bit too close and effectively making you fall in his tank. He didn’t keep you there however, you knew he didn’t like your presence but you couldn’t resist wanting to learn more about him.

How I imagine reader's and Sebastian's relationship was just, a really rocky start because we have reader who wanted to know more about him and then we have Sebastian who didn't want to know anything about reader because they are just another scientist. He never left his containment either because I imagine that the other prisoners would give him funny looks and dislike his presence because of how he was. I think... he was very bitter. It took a lot for him to warm up as he did… Especially with someone who was one of the scientists! 

“You really don’t know do you?” Sebastian snarled slightly, his casual facade crumbling briefly as his expression went more of pity. “Of course you don’t, you keep coming in here as if I can’t kill you right here and now.” You frowned at him. “I’m here to learn-” “You are trapped. They have you right where they want you. The moment that you have served your purpose they will kill you.” He put a claw near you, his other hand flaunting his sharp nails. You took a step back, sensing danger unconsciously. He noticed, his trained eyes on you like a predator. “Word of advice, start making yourself useful and leave me alone.”

I always saw that reader was treading on treacherous waters... always seeing Sebastian secretly at night and after talking with him, he would eventually warm up because whether he liked it or not, I think he was lonely. Because he would live without speaking with anyone and talking to someone who's a lot more genuine... I don't think the reader is like the other scientists at all, I don't think that it would even be known what Urbanshade was doing! I think Urbanshade just flaunts a lot and doesn't hide anything, but makes any new interns or hires go through the longest paperwork part of their work EVER to see if they are dedicated before kinda forcing the unethical experiments... basically like roping in with mundanity and beauty, the curiousity on how these beautiful sea creatures are made only to find out that it was all done with torture--

SO my point is that reader didn't know what happened to Sebastian, nor knew why he was so standoffish, they were forced to do ONLY paperwork and their free time went into seeing the subject that they can see very very easily. It was like... just the curiousity of what Sebastian was, what he was capable of, etc etc. I don't think reader even knew that he was... human. And he doesn't mention it either... I think he only mentions it soooo much later... As for Sebastian’s side of things, I imagine he decided to entertain the reader only because atp he’s thinking he can probably use their naivety for his escape!

ANYWAYS to skip ahead because I have JUST SEEN THE SHEER LENGTH OF THIS IM SOOOO SORRY I LOVE LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY CREATIONS IDK lore dump moment

So at one point, Urbanshade notices that reader is interacting with Sebastian, however, instead of like, stopping them, I imagine that Urbanshade instead saw an opportunity. Sebastian doesn’t talk to ANYONE so suddenly finding out that he’s talking to someone??? 

It was only much later that he actually warmed up to your presence, choosing to follow you around when you were stuck doing your boring paperwork. You were starting to regret applying here as they wanted to wait a really long time until you could actually do any hands-on work. However, Sebastian’s presence made the situation a lot more bearable, as he would sometimes read over your shoulder and mention things that you would outright forget to write down. Because of his seeming attachment to you, your higher-ups completely changed your temporary job of reading and copying down paperwork into instead… still do the same thing but also look over Sebastian’s behaviour. They would say how you were the only person that he got along with, which meant it was the opportune moment to find out more about him and fill his file even more as it was severely lacking apparently. And so started your Behavioural Scientist job with no hiccups whatsoever. Especially not after begging Urbanshade not to let you go after the internship ended, convincing them that you were the only person who managed to get even remotely close to Sebastian’s good graces. No issues at all... 

OH and at some point reader is given their own office and it’s because they had a normal desk like other people before but because Sebastian is.. big… he would push the desks all the time and he would apologize to the scientists but you can tell he wasn’t being genuine as the malice was obvious on him SCREAMING but after having TOO MANY complaints about Sebastian following reader around and reader insisting that they need him to follow because it’s their job, Urbanshade just gave them a temporal office (that became their permanent office for years to come)--

I think it’s there where Sebastian starts seeing reader as a “friend”, they never hurt him and quickly realise that reader was genuinely not evil like the scientists that experimented on him. While Urbanshade made reader the behavioural scientist, they started working with other subjects as well (as you guys know) and Sebastian started seeing reader in a much more positive light. 

Reader goes on vacation sometimes, brings a lot of trinkets and pictures of the outside world to Sebastian. I think he tries to keep a strong face when he gets some of those things, he misses the outside world. I like to think reader asked him once what was his favorite snack and he would mention something from Chile and reader would get it for him and that’s probably the first time that he does cry in front of them because of the whole emotion of having something that’s basically a comfort food after so long. It was like a taste of freedom. Something to look forward to and not give up to Urbanshade. And seeing as how reader didn’t look disappointed or in any negative emotion I think that’s when Sebastian just completely changed his perspective. The idea where now in his grand plan of escaping the Blacksite that he had been making the moment that Urbanshade stopped doing the extreme experiments and let him walk (slitter?) freely now would include reader. 

While he knows reader is there for the other subjects too, he also knows that they are mostly there for him counting as I imagine there is a lot of subjects that reader can’t understand (like the angler… or pandemonium…) and while Sebastian knows a lot of them thanks to working with reader so closely (him reading all these classified documents) that he weights if he would escape the Blacksite he would want to take reader with him. I think at first when they met he was like they might die but its a sacrifice for his escape (they are but another scientist), but now he’s like if they die I die (“I have failed.”).

BASICALLY I imagine their friendship that is very slowburn but in the end they become extremely loyal to each other, reader doesn’t know that they are part of his plan now. I mention it in A Human’s Touch but Sebastian has this hidden room where he keeps all these things and he probably has written (in a coded language) a whole plan of his escape + what he would do once he gets out of the Blacksite. At first it only included him but the longer he spent with reader the more he kept in mine their safety as they are the only friend he’s had for years and they are ATTACHED. 

Oh and a final note, Sebastian’s bracelets were given by reader, but i wanted to talk briefly on the obsidian one because I went with spirituality and symbolism as to why I took that material… obsidian bracelets mean protection, grounding and emotional healing… a lot of mental clearance and transforms negative energy to positive ones. I like to think that reader got it for him after learning more about him, because just as he wants them to be safe, they want him to be safe too. Their biggest fear is that Urbanshade would want to experiment harder again with him again and/or kill him. Sebastian shares the same fear.

OK I think I am... done... I'm so sorry AGAIN if something doesn't make sense... feel free to send an ask.... That goes for anyone ofc but yes... I'm crazy but if you got this far here's a quick doodle I did for your troubles dear reader

[taffywabbit]

On the topic of fursonas, do you have any advice for folks who are struggling to find something that fits them? I've tried for years but none of the ideas I've come up with ever really felt like "me".

I want to join in on the fun but I feel like everything I try is too cliche and impersonal or too difficult to make into an expressive, fursona-y design, and I'm sort of at a loss for what I'm missing to make it click

I did make a few follow-up additions to my original post that deal with some questions like this (I think it's all under the furry advice tag on my blog) so take a look through those first, since I'm pretty sure the earlier, less thorough versions of my post are often what gets shared around and the later additions are where I talked about the actual design process.

but as a more immediate and specific answer, I think firstly it's important to remember that there isn't really any right or wrong way to make a fursona, it's entirely personal and you don't have to worry about whether it could be seen as too "cliche" or "generic" or stuff like that compared to others (as long as you're not literally stealing someone else's existing character design outright). all that really matters is that YOU enjoy it.

secondly, a lot of the time a sona design isn't immediately going to click and you won't know if the character "fits" you until you use it a bit - try it out, doodle it a bunch doing various things and wearing different clothes and stuff, etc. it's a self-insert but it IS also (usually) a character too! only like 20-30% of the furries I know treat it like "my fursona is me and I'm them and you can refer to us interchangeably" while the rest consider it more like a personal OC that's used as a means of self-exploration. kinda like a personal mascot I guess? and like any other character, you get more attached to them as you get to know them, flesh them out, give them some depth and interests and personality quirks and stuff like that. think about their fears, think about their favorite foods, that sorta thing. they don't have to be 1:1 with your real self, so fill the gaps with stuff that feels interesting to you! as you proceed with that, you'll usually get inspiration for any changes or adjustments to the character design itself over time, and you can make those changes freely because character design is a process and it's never really set in stone (you're making this for yourself, not as a consumer product that needs a firmly established canonical design for consistent marketing lol). my fursona looked COMPLETELY different when I made her like 5+ years ago, and went through multiple awkward iterations of change within the first year or two before I settled on something that felt comfy. and I'm still changing details occasionally, even now!

anyways hope that helps somewhat! good luck!

[len-the-neverending]

For cis people, on writing trans stories

So, I just spent roughly an hour looking at the trans tag on Goodreads, and hoo boy, the things I saw. Ten books in I'd compiled a list of red flags, and pretty much everything I saw from there on out (except for the ones written by trans people) had at least one. So here's my list of red flags, or, What Not To Do if You're Cis and Writing About Trans People. (For context, I am nonbinary, have a lot of both binary and nonbinary trans friends, and read all the angry reviews by trans people on Goodreads.)

Centralizing your trans story on a cis character. A solid 75% of the stories I saw were stories, primarily about a trans person being trans, centered around their cisgender sibling or love interest. This is problematic because it portrays trans people, simply by virtue of their identity, as a "burden" or "conflict" on the cis people in their life, and trans people don't need that. It's also just really icky to write about a marginalized identity from the point of view of someone who is not of that identity: it's why stories about allistic people "dealing" with having autistic people in their lives, or stories about white people witnessing racial discrimination, are so frowned upon. I don't believe that cis people can't write good trans stories-- generally, I don't believe in gatekeeping who can write about what-- but a good start would be centralizing the actual trans character.

Misgendering the trans character in any way in the title, blurb, or third-person narration. I'm not going to go into full detail on when to misgender your trans characters-- @scriptlgbt has some good posts on that if you want to check it out-- but it should only be done very sparingly and should never be done where you can use the character's chosen name and proper terms instead. This includes all cases of the title, blurb, and narration by a third-person narrator. I should not see any misgendering in the blurb or in the title, and I really don't need to know your character's deadname from reading the back cover. This also includes gender-bendy titles such as "My Brother Is Named Jessica" and "She's My Dad" (both of which are real ones I saw). They misgender the character no matter how you slice it and are a really gross way to talk about trans people (especially considering all of these characters are binary trans-- some people might be okay with any pronouns or terms, but with a few exceptions you should really refer to your binary trans woman as "she", "her", "mother", "sister", etc. with no gender-bending gimmicks). It also includes language such as "boy who wants to be a girl" or "girl who thinks she's a boy", which is incredibly misgender-y and ignorant of the reality of transgender identities.

Cis people pretending to be trans. I can't believe I saw this one three separate times. Just stop. It's still centering cis characters in trans stories, and it creates an unnecessary link between transgender identities and deception, which is already a major issue in society and one that leads to violence against trans people. I don't care what your idea was. Just cut it out.

There are most definitely more, but these are the three I saw the most on my Goodreads Journey of horrors. I'm a little iffy on cis people writing trans stories, but cis people can and should write about trans people, and I think they can do it well, as long as they avoid the red flags. Stay safe and happy writing! - Lenni