#i really did try to tough out appendicitis as a child
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not-poignant · 4 years ago
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🌻 I'm loving reading your answers haha!
<3 <3 <3 Thank you so much!
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Okay so I’m thinking of pain today because I’m having a fairly high pain day (I have to go lie down soon and it’s going to hurt).
I’m allergic to most opiates (including morphine and tramadol) and I can’t take NSAIDs because I have reflux disease (thanks family). As a result that pretty much leaves me with acetaminophen/paracetamol, and that’s it. Oh and neuropathic meds, like Endep.
But as a result of that, my pain can never be managed, and I don’t actually remember a day without pain. A lot of it runs in the background, and I’m so used to it I genuinely forget other people don’t deal with a baseline of constant pain. But when I have ‘breakthrough’ pain, a lot of the time I have very few options for pain management, so I just don’t really try.
As a result of this, my pain tolerance is insane, and doctors have gotten really angry at me for it - mostly in the form of ‘WHY DIDN’T YOU COME IN SOONER THIS WASN’T SOMETHING YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITH WE COULD HAVE HELPED YOU’ and one of my specialists straight up yelled at me last year, which is the first time a doctor has yelled at me since I was a teenager. (I understood, I was being a very frustrating patient. I mean I was in so much pain I couldn’t eat most foods, and I let that go for about two weeks before I went to see him, lmao - and I’d been in moderate pain for about two months before then).
But there are some exceptions to my pain tolerance. I can’t handle headaches (because I nearly never get them) and I can’t handle vertigo.
But everything else? Pfft. I once tried to tough out appendicitis as a child, thinking it was just a ‘worse stomach ache than usual.’ And I later learned that the bouts of not being able to stand upright due to the absolute stabbing misery in my guts as a teenager, were ovarian cysts bursting repeatedly. I only realised I officially had cysts when they found an eight centimetre one (around 3.5 inches) and they described the symptoms of them bursting to me and I was like ‘ohhhHHHHHhhh.’ Like damn son, I’ve done tests while I’ve had them burst, lmao.
Anyway.
If you can take painkillers like NSAIDs (anti-inflammatories), or opiates actually work for you, that’s... great. My body is both a) really good at making pain and b) really good at being allergic or intolerant to painkillers and I really don’t recommend it ever.
(This sounds bad but honestly I just tune it out most days and like, that’s why I’m tired all the time. But sleep keeps a lid on the worst of it, and I’m really used to it. Also I’m lucky enough to be able to write, because I’d be doomed if I had to like...work conventionally, lol).
(Also my walking stick is great, it’s purple).
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youarejesting · 5 years ago
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Quarantine.20
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[Masterlist]  Pairing: BTS x reader Friends2Lovers But as slow as you can go until the anticipation kills us all… Genres: friendship, drama, romance SLOWEST OF BURNS BUT IT WILL BE BURNING AN ETERNAL FLAME!!! Rating: PG-13 and above Summary: Your brother works with a few BigHit dance teams and whilst having permission to accompany him at work the city shuts down banning anyone from stepping outside for a whole WEEK while they disinfect the streets. If you step outside you might get arrested, shot or poisoned by the chemicals they are emitting through the city. Words: 1.1k Announcement: This chapter made me very happy we are finding a little more about Y/N’s personality. So far we know she is Adaptable, Stubborn, Emotional, a real Chaotic Good. She makes her own way a free spirit and a good heart. She won’t sit around if there is something she can do. Giving Y/N depth and character and own personal struggles besides that with the love interest. 
The boys will be learning valuable lessons in the next chapter. So stay tuned.
[Part 1]  [Part 19] [Part 21] [Tag Yourself Here]
“You can’t just abandon the people when they need help!” The tired doctor hissed into the phone, his hair disheveled and the bags under his eyes extremely noticeable. You had just returned from delivering supplies. “Too many safety hazards, what about the safety of the people?”
“What’s going on?” You asked the young woman who was in charge of logging each supply run while watching the doctor pace the room. Pulling yourself to sit onto the health center's desk and Casually juggling three mandarins much to the young children’s amusement, there was a boy who had a broken leg, a teen in all black trying to look indifferent after an appendicitis and a young girl with a chemical burn. 
“The hospital has stopped sending out the paramedics when the sun goes down, the drivers have almost resulted in a few crashes and then with the number of gangs out there taking supplies and such. It’s too risky” the woman said, the doctor looked so angry you could almost see smoke coming from his ears. 
“What about if people are dying?”  She looked up at you surprised no one really got to hear you speak more than one sentence at a time, “They say they can't do anything about it” “If that’s the case I will go to them, and perform in-home care, until morning. Or if they are safe to move then I will do so to wherever is closest otherwise, I will wait with them until morning”
The Doctor turned to you hearing your words and started talking rapidly into the phone. After several minutes he put his hand to the receiver “Are you seriously willing to do this? you will be required to learn first aid and CPR” You nodded, having until the sun was down to learn all the basics. Lucky for you, you passed the advanced day course and were given instructions. 
The moment night fell you would be directed to any call outs, the first was a child who split their head open by a falling snow globe, they sent a photo of the severity. The doctor at the clinic explained it could easily be glued shut as it wasn’t too big and to deliver some paracetamol elixir. You took the motorized scooter which you had attached one of the wagons on the back and hurried down the streets. Something about this felt different, the numbness seemed to ease and you were able to feel the weight of your decision. 
Yes, leaving the BigHit building had initially been a reckless decision made to spite others, then it was taken from your hands and you were practically forced to go. But this was your decision, this wasn’t to impress anyone or to show off, this was doing what you wanted and what you thought was right by your morals. You couldn’t sit around while people were in need of help. With your bag in the front basket and gun over your shoulder, you moved quickly through the streets.
Arriving at the house you followed the instructions of the doctor. Sealing the wound and checked for any concussion or swelling from the trauma. Smiling at the boy you gave him a sticker of a dinosaur. You told the parents what to do and to call if they had any issues, they thanked you. 
Before you had left there was another emergency, across town an older man was having chest pain. You went straight over, helping him into the Hazard suit with a working breather, placed him in the wagon and rode back to the clinic. The doctor immediately conducted an ECG and determined he was having a heart attack and had been for a while. He was stabilized and you felt your body relax with the relief, he had been such a kind, old man. This was definitely a tough job, but you felt tiny flecks of warmth in your chest.  
Unable to identify the feeling but it wasn’t bad, you were sitting beside the man. He spoke of his wife who was in the hospital and how he wanted to see her. You comforted him and as he relaxed he asked you about your life. When and why you came to Korea, and about the man you were in love with. You winced. 
“What happened?” “Uh it’s complicated” Taking your leave going to the vending machine for a coffee and something to eat, you were still using Mister Lee’s card the IOU list was gradually getting bigger. As you walked past the room you hear the nurse telling the older gentleman about what had happened to you. Calling it a night you shuffled to the clinic’s staff room, it was almost morning and it had gotten quiet. But before you made it to the door, the radio went off again a woman had gone into labour. 
Turning around you headed to the doctor who helped you pack a bag with everything you would need; clamps, sterile instruments and even a pair of Air Pods. Telling you, he would talk to you the whole time and guide you through it. With the address in the GPS, you stepped out wasting no time to cross the town. The doctor was telling you everything you needed to know as you headed over. 
Arriving at the woman’s house, she unlocked the door and you told her to step back. Ducking inside quickly so as to not bring too much poisonous gas into the house, you shut the door behind you. Stripping off the suit and hanging it up you put on your protective gear. 
She was pacing, breathing heavily and rubbing her stomach. You spoke to her in Korean and she looked at you so scared her husband was stuck across town in his company face-timing her. 
You set up an area on the ground laying out a plastic tarp, you were wearing goggles and a medical mask, you washed your hands slipping on gloves. You had acquired all of these from the store. Asking the woman to let you check how far along you were, not wanting to reveal you didn’t know what you were doing. 
Feeling extremely unprepared, but knowing help wouldn’t come until the next morning you squared your shoulders ready to take on this challenge. You were the only help this woman had. She was stressed enough as it was, you would do your best to pretend you knew what you were doing. This was just like going on stage and playing a role while dancing, you would play this role until you felt that it was truly who you were.
“My name is Y/N, What is yours?”  “My name is Myunghee,” she said, “have you delivered babies before?” “Six” you smiled not wanting to tell you it was your pet cat who had given birth in the kitchen and you just sat around while she did all the work. 
Hiding your fear, the doctor was in your ear guiding you through the steps, you checked how far along she was and hummed she wasn’t quite ready to push yet, at least not to how the doctor explained. Telling her there was still some time. Not enough that you would make it to the hospital but enough time to try to relax.
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[Part 1]  [Part 19] [Part 21] [Tag Yourself Here]
Tags:  @bubbletae7​ @lovemusicandotps​ @taetaebq​ @seveniefive​ @w0lfqu33n​ @anaiss97​ @moccahobi​ @maddymal​ @lilacdreams-00​ @lethargicalyssa​ @knjkitten​ @pieislife​ @bunnyboyenthusiast​
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letterboxd · 5 years ago
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Jungleland.
“You’re in the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen, but it’s hell.” Colombian filmmaker Alejandro Landes takes us deep inside the extreme filming conditions of his acclaimed jungle thriller Monos, and the art of letting life come onto the page.
Alejandro Landes’ second fictional film Monos follows a ragtag group of Colombian teen soldiers enlisted to care for an American hostage known as Doctora (played by Julianne Nicholson) and a conscripted milk cow, but struggling to function under power-trips and adolescent recklessness.
The film has been gathering awards all year, including Sundance’s World Cinema Dramatic Special Jury Award, and praise for Mica Levi’s score. Monos is Colombia’s submission for the Best International Feature Film Oscar (the Academy Award category that, until last year, was known as Best Foreign Language Film). Hot on the heels of last year’s Birds of Passage, Monos is a fresh source of pride for Colombian movie lovers.
With Landes’ raw approach, Monos belongs in the same club of gritty war films as Apocalypse Now, Full Metal Jacket and Come and See. Letterboxd members dig its “captivating, alluring atmosphere” and “the immensely physical performances”; it’s “a brutal, unflinching fever dream that takes you hostage for 102 minutes.”
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‘Monos’ director Alejandro Landes.
We caught up with director Alejandro Landes, a journalist-turned-documentarian who has made his way to dramatic cinema, and asked him to take us into his experience of making the film.
What inspired this jungle thriller? Alejandro Landes: Coming from Colombia—a country that’s had six years of civil war—inspired the idea of making a film that is in part a war film. The nature of that conflict that’s in the shadows is very similar with what’s happening with war today. It doesn’t have those epic front lines that maybe our great-grandparents or grandparents experienced in WWI or WWII. Most operations are done by special forces or drones in Syria, Iraq or Afghanistan.
The idea of creating a film from the backlines is something that speaks to my generation, and creating a mirror to the conflict of adolescence when you’re between a child and being an adult. You want to belong but also be alone, hair comes out of places, your voice changes—and so the film is this exploration of this borderline.
You’re in the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen, but it’s hell. You don’t know if they’re fighting for left-wing guerilla forces or the right-wing paramilitary force. I wanted to create this allegory where you’re forced to latch onto the humanity and presence of the characters instead of a big ideology. That was very much what drew me into the film.
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When it comes to the back-stories of the characters, and even the time and place where it’s set, you leave a deliberate ambiguity. What motivated that decision? Many times we latch onto first names and last names, ages, dates, names of places, because they make us feel safe. They’re kind of stickers. Like when you fill out a sheet at a job application or at a doctor’s office. But these hard facts can feed into your prejudices. I thought it was interesting because the world is so polarized today.
You don’t know if Doctora is a CIA operative or an NGO officer. You can’t look at the character through the lens of their occupation, or their last name even. That’s why the characters have a nom de guerre and I think that for me was key for the metaphor to act subversively and kind of just work against any prejudices you might have.
We always want back-stories to justify and explain actions and a lot of the time it ends up being expository or a filmmaker’s psychoanalysis. Here, I wanted to enforce something very radical which made people feel uncomfortable in war. I wanted you to experience it from the humanity of a group which is basically the lowest rung of the ladder—and many times they are kids.
As fantastical as it sounds, it’s actually very common. I read a lot of first-hand accounts of people who had been kidnapped by well-known organizations and although the high command had been the one negotiating—be it for political leverage or money—the day-to-day custodianship ended up being the youngest soldiers. The people that were kidnapped experienced being in the hands of kids going through their adolescence and it was a peculiar situation.
The film relies on its ensemble, so you really depended on efficient casting. What do you think it was that pulled these young actors through the brutal challenge to be a part of this film? I think it was the time that we spent together before we even started to shoot. I looked at over 800 kids all over Colombia and ended up bringing that down to about 25. We did a mock training camp and had them do acting improv exercises in the morning. They were doing pieces of the screenplay without knowing they were scenes from the same script. They thought they were random exercises.
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In the afternoon they would do military drills; not classic military boot stomping, but sometimes dancing, barefoot drills, carrying a weapon. We were trying to create this clandestine army and by seeing them live together I was able to see who flirted with who, who fought with who, what chemistries there were, and that way we were able to build the group who would be the final eight.
During this process of the boot camp we wrote the screenplay, trying to bring the lives of each one of them [into it]. I knew that Boom Boom was a big hip-hop dancer. I knew that Rambo’s most important thing in her life is her brother. Certain things helped the screenplay and the emotional states that the actor would later go into during the shoot.
What were you looking for when recruiting the Doctora role, and why did Julianne Nicholson fit the part for you? I thought [Julianne] had this very loveable sweetness to her, and I thought it would be a challenge to take that sensitivity with the maternal instinct that she had with her captors and turn it violent. She was willing to bring that physicality to the screen and she’s got that iconic look to her that reminded me of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I thought of the film as a sort of fairytale. I thought the way Julianne was able to portray that switch was something we haven’t seen on screen.
She was also willing to go down [to Colombia] and make it happen. That was a big thing. She spent time with the kids to really be there for weeks in these incredibly tough conditions. She was willing to go, not just when it was her scenes, but she spent time in [Doctora’s] cell. She drew all the charcoal paintings you see in her room, they were done by hand by her.
Much of the drama depended on your choice of shooting locations. How did you shape the narrative around these limitations and how did shooting in these remote places affect the cast and crew? Shooting 13,000 feet [above sea level], there was really very little oxygen up there. Going down to the jungle canyon where you have to take a donkey, take an off-road, take a raft, take a kayak all the way to reach base-camp. Everyone is at their limit. On the first day of shooting, we had to bring someone down from the camera department who had an epileptic fit. I needed to be carried out of the jungle [due to suspected appendicitis] on the shoulders on these gold miners that were there. They taught us how to live on the river.
Something the locations gave me that was really special was the narrative arc of the film. That highlands you see in the beginning, it’s a big reservoir of water which is a very delicate ecosystem called páramo. The water trickles down the mountain and gains more speed until it reaches the currents in the lowlands. That path of water was what we were following in the film. The idea of how a river moves in a winding way with different speeds and velocity was what we were trying to echo in the structure of the edit.
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Remember too, that once the water reaches the lowlands, it condenses, goes up to the clouds and comes down again in the highlands. So in a way there’s something about the cyclical nature of violence and the circular movement of water that made sense to me. That all sounds great but it’s another thing to make it work in the edit, and we really worked hard so you never thought you were looking from the back of the river—you were always in the river.
The look of the film is remarkable. The clouds, the silhouettes, you have a literal ‘fog of war’. How did you set out to achieve this? The important thing is to look at what was in front of you. My first film was a documentary. I didn’t go to film school so making that film was my film school and a documentary forces you to look at what’s happening in front of you. As much as we had a very detailed screenplay and everything storyboarded, the locations change on a dime so we couldn’t count on luck every day.
We had to just to be there, be present, and have the confidence to move on, switch and let things come into the page. If a scene was under sun, and then on the day all you get is fog and rain, you discover a new way to come into the scene and let life come onto the page.
Mica Levi [also known as the musician Micachu] has already gained a strong reputation for film composing. How did you manage to wrangle her for Monos? Mica came on board after seeing a rough cut of the film. She connected immediately with it. I didn’t think it needed music but she was on it very quickly. She sent me a very epic whistle that reminded me of spaghetti westerns. The idea was to create something that was minimal but at the same time had that monumental, epic feel.
We wanted to juxtapose those very primal, basic sounds like blowing into a bottle with a quartet of strings, and later you have sounds that are a shot of adrenaline that sound like they could come out of a Berlin nightclub. That mash of sounds I felt was very important; it allowed you to give emotional cues to the characters, similar to [Sergei Prokofiev’s story-symphony] Peter and the Wolf. It was great working with her and my sound designer Javier Umpierrez because we were trying to make this soundscape that was specific but also otherworldly.
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Monos has been submitted for Best International Feature Film at the Oscars. That must feel good. All these prizes help the film get seen and that’s an important thing. This is a film that started on a shoestring and we were trying to build something very radical. It’s a film that was done through absolute blood, sweat and tears of these people who believed in it so I’m just glad that it’s finding its public—and the fact that we’re distributing pretty big in the US for a Latin American film.
It’s going to open in more than 30 countries and it’s blowing up in the Colombian box office, which is really special because Colombia still hasn’t really seen their cinema. It’s a polarizing topic to have a war film after everything they’ve lived. Having more than 200,000 people go to see it in its first three weeks is a huge thing. For a point of comparison, it’s the same amount of people who went to see Tarantino’s film [in Colombia].
What film made you want to become a filmmaker? Wow. That’s your toughest question. I don’t know if I can point to one exactly. When I was young my dad wouldn’t let me watch TV. We had the apparatus but not cable so he had his own movies and I remember he had that German submarine film Das Boot. I watched it so many times I started to see the stitches of how it was made and that got me onto thinking “ah, okay I understand this, I like this”. I’ve never watched it in a movie theater, that would be cool.
Das Boot has a similar atmosphere to Monos so it’s an interesting choice for you. Yes, those were the films I was thinking for my second fiction film. I think it comes from that part of time when I watched those epics, including some David Lean films.
‘Monos’ is released by Neon and is screening in US theaters now. For more Colombian films, check out ‘Colombian Cinema: Six of the Best’, a list made for Letterboxd by ‘Birds of Passage’ directors Ciro Guerra and Cristina Gallego.
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orangeyouglad8 · 7 years ago
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Something’s Spooky in Your Blood
Having some fun with #clexahalloweenweek! Thought I’d throw something in for the Free Day today. Thanks for the fun idea @clexabrasil
This takes place in my SEIYB!verse (in case the title misled you…)
Halloween at the hospital is an event unto its own.
It doesn’t surprise Clarke or sneak up on her. She’s been well versed in the oddities that happen on this night since she was a child. Those nights when her mother would only come home well into November looking dead on her feet.
It’s nothing new.
What is new is being smack dab in the middle of it.
The weekend prior to Halloween stretched from Thursday to early Sunday morning. Full of shenanigans. Ghouls and goblins and drunken broken idiots all around.
The ED bursting at the seams. People of all shapes and colors – literally she saw a blue monster wheeled away on a gurney – poured from every nook and cranny. Fake blood mixed with the real and everyone was confused.
And now, now they arrive on the day itself. A Tuesday. Something so middle of the week, Clarke hopes the crazed frenzy of the weekend will not find it’s way back to the hospital.
She knows her hopes have no shot of coming true.
Indra gives them a strong speech at the start of their shifts. Reminds them all they probably won’t be leaving anytime soon.
Except Clarke is already on an overtime shift. Dangerously close to crossing the line and getting into serious trouble. Indra gives her a look and a nod before she leaves the locker room and Clarke understands it for what it is.
They both are aware of the situation.
But for now, Clarke will deal with whatever comes her way. And ignore Raven’s near constant pestering about the party at her friend’s giant apartment.
Her phone chirps in her locker and she grabs it, smiling at the picture she finds attached to Lexa’s message. She sniffs under her arms and applies another coat of deodorant, grabbing her lab coat and sweeping out of the locker room while her fellow interns get ready for the day.
The day she started hours ago.
She plays with her hair hastily, pulling it back into the tiny bun she can manage. Not yet used to the new short length.
Lexa, though.
Lexa’s eyes went wide when she showed up fresh from the salon.
Her fingers card through it every chance they get.
When the elevator slides open she practically dances through the lobby to the coffee cart. Lexa stands there waiting. Her shirt tucked in, her shoes shiny. Her hair perfect. Clarke’s heart beats so loud she’s surprised everyone can’t hear it.
“Hi, stranger.”
“Hi yourself.” Lexa’s eyes dip to Clarke’s lips. She needs them on hers. Settles for the soft look they both share. “How was your night?”
“Long, boring.”
“Boring is good though for post-op, right?”
“Boring is good.” She leans in then. Brushes her hand against Lexa’s arm, briefly.
Not yet over how well Lexa pays attention and how much she cares.
Lexa holds up a white paper bag that Clarke didn’t even see, too entranced by the girl before her. “I brought you some breakfast.”
“Lex-” She swoons. Constant fucking swooning.
“You need to eat,” Lexa says it low as they inch forward in line. And now Clarke really needs to kiss her. Wonders how much persuading she’ll have to do to get her into a closet or empty room somewhere.
Clarke takes the bag and spies inside.
“You didn’t.”
“I did,” she answers around a grin.
“Lexa…”
“Just eat your sandwich, Clarke.”
Clarke bites into it and releases a hearty moan, hungrier than she realized and happier knowing it was Lexa who was thinking of her. Who woke up early and waited in line before work to bring Clarke her favorite breakfast sandwich to the hospital.
“You’re too good to me.”
“I know,” she laughs.
Clarke nudges her with her shoulder while taking another bite. She offers the sandwich to Lexa, who declines with a soft shake of her head.
This day is already off to a better start than she would have hoped.
They sit in a small hallway off the lobby that no one frequents and enjoy their coffee. Clarke finishes her sandwich and tries not to focus too hard on Lexa’s soft admiration. She chances a small kiss on Lexa’s cheek and takes a deep breath in.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
Lexa gulps. Visibly and loud. “You’re welcome.”
“I need to get back. It might be a little crazy today. I’m already pushing up on too many hours for my shift though so there’s a chance I might make it out.”
“Just let me know.” Lexa’s eyes are still focused on her lips.
Clarke loves it.
“Any chance you’d be up for a party if I do?”
A confused brow finally looks up. “What kind of party?”
“Something crazy I’m sure. Raven has been pestering me nonstop.”
“A Raven party…”
Clarke laughs, “I know. But… it could be fun.”
“I guess it will depend on the shift you have, doctor.”
“I guess so.” She remembers her main selling point. “No one from the hospital will be there…” she dangles it in front of Lexa like a carrot.
Lexa’s eyes light up, just as she hoped. “That sounds promising.”
They smile at each other for a beat.
“Don’t forget,” Clarke says, leaning back in and brushing her lips against Lexa’s ear. “You first kissed me at a Raven party…”
Lexa grabs her wrist, doesn’t let her move. Clarke hears her intake of breath.
“As if I ever could.”
Xx
Her quiet morning with Lexa seems like it was days ago.
The hospital roars to life around midday, when a group of stupidly drunk frat boys roll in, already bleeding with bones protruding in ways they never should. Their togas leave nothing to the imagination.
“We’re pledging,” one of them grimaces as Clarke pokes at his slowly bleeding gash.
“Yeah, that’s the excuse for this?” She sends him a look. Poking again and earning a flinch. He smells like the bottom of a bar floor and Clarke hopes the banana bag she hooked up will start hydrating him. He’s already tried brushing up against her ass more than once. She can feel his eyes heavy on her chest too.
“We’re almost through it.”
“You have to survive it first.” She snaps off her gloves and glares again. He looks up from her chest and his cheeks at least have the decency to blush. “You’ll need stitches. I’ll have to numb the skin, I’ll be back.” She leaves and pulls the curtain closed behind her in a huff.
“Murphy, can you handle bed three? This guy is about two seconds away from sexually harassing me and I just don’t have the strength to ignore it right now.” Clarke leans against the nurses station and lets a little bit of whine into her voice.
“If you take the kid in five, then no problem.”
“Done deal.” She switches to the chart for bed five and walks away. When she pulls the curtain back she’s met with a surly little girl and a worried dad. He would dwarf anyone, but the way he looks at his child melts Clarke’s heart a little bit. The girl has curly brown hair and dark dark eyes. Black ringed around them and a little dot adorning her nose. She looks so sad and small under the hospital lights.
“Hi, I’m Doctor Griffin. What do we have here?” Clarke smiles. It’s harder when it’s a kid. Harder and yet… easier.
“She passed out at school. Clutched her stomach and just passed out.” Her father answers, worried and standing. His hand never leaving her shoulder.
“Dad, I told you my tummy hurt today.”
“I know, baby. I know. I’m sorry.”
Clarke checks the chart again. Seems like appendicitis.
“Maisie, did you throw up today?”
“Yeah. Right when I got to school. I ruined my costume!”
“Well, that is a shame.” She sets the tablet down and pulls on some gloves to assess. “What were you today?”
“I was a raccoon,” her voice breaks a little and Clarke hopes she can distract her enough to stop the tears.
“Looks like you’re still a raccoon to me?” Clarke boops her nose and smiles.  “Can I check your belly, Maisie?”
The girl nods. Her lip quivers and Clarke knows she’s trying not to cry more.
“Which side does it hurt on?”
She points to her right and Clarke starts palpating. She barely touches her before the girl flinches and wails.
“Yep, alright. I think I know what’s wrong.” She nudges for Maisie’s father to stand and follow her out of the bay. Keeps her voice low to not scare the girl. “She’s got a pretty bad case of appendicitis. We’re going to need to take her up to surgery right away – we need to get it before it ruptures.”
He nods, tears streaking his face. “I should have brought her in sooner. She never complains.”
Clarke second guesses for a second before placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s a hard thing to diagnose sometimes. I’m going to get her upstairs and we’ll get it handled, okay? You did the right thing.”
He nods and shuffles back into the bay to sit by his daughter and Clarke grabs a nurse to page Indra and the OR.
Murphy stands by the cart, picking up a suture kit and bandages. He glares hard when she shrugs and gets ready to roll Maisie upstairs.
“Thanks, Murphy.”
Xx
The surgery goes smoothly and Clarke gets to assist the attending, answering questions at rapid fire while she asks.
Peds is… peds is no joke.
And when it’s all over and Maisie is being patched up and taken to post-op, the attending lets Clarke notify her father.
A feeling she’s still not used to.
She finds him stalking the waiting room. Feels his relief and chokes on her words as she watches him break down, tears streaking down his face.
Indra finds her as she checks in on Maisie and brings her dad back. The rooms in peds are decorated with all kinds of animals and fun colors and Maisie gets a good drug induced giggle when she finds out that she’s in the room with raccoons and foxes and forest creatures prancing on the walls.
“Good job, Griffin.”
“Thanks,” Clarke nods. Always appreciative of Indra’s tough love.
“You performed well in there today. Dr. Hunter was impressed.”
Clarke blushes, Dr. Hunter is a rock star and everyone knows it.
“Thanks,” she stammers again. Indra barely conceals her eye roll.
“Make sure you watch that clock. I don’t need you getting written up for going over. We’re already pushing the limit… I should just send you home.”
“It’s barely five yet…”
“I know, but Halloween explodes around here. Something you seem familiar with.”
“Another perk of growing up with a surgeon for a mother.”
Indra simply hums out an affirmation.
“See to her post-op checks, don’t get trapped in the pit.”  She offers gruffly and then she’s gone.  “Don’t be surprised if you find yourself on Hunter’s rotation before long.”
Clarke blushes furiously.
Xx
The pit is slammed when she gets back and there will be no going home for her. Not when her colleagues are up to their ears again in Halloween shit.
Which is fucking crazy, because it’s still just a Tuesday.
But with so many college kids in this city, she really can’t be surprised.
The drunk frat boy with wandering eyes is still floating around. His almost-brother got taken up to surgery to repair the broken femur he came in with. He tells Clarke as much before sobbing and trying to earn some consolation.
Clarke just points him to the waiting rooms and gives him another banana bag. How on earth is he still this inebriated?
She handles two gashes from drunken fights and diagnoses a set of broken ribs and a concussion before Indra finds her and pulls her by the elbow out of the ED.
“Griffin, what did I say?”
She’s livid.
“I can’t just leave! Look how swamped we are!”
“Out. Now.” She growls and Clarke turns on a dime. The fight is not worth it. It’s almost eight and she’s definitely over her time limit. She drops her tablet at the charging dock at the nurses station and grabs a plastic set of devil horns out of the box of gathered and forgotten Halloween accessories.
The locker room is a ghost town and suddenly Clarke feels the exhaustion in her bones.
Raven has blown up her phone.
Lexa has left a few messages as well.
Clarke should shower, she really should, but she’s too tired. Suddenly completely over this hospital. Cannot bear another second of being here.
She changes quickly, asking Raven for the address again and sending it to Lexa. She coats her underarms with another round of deodorant and fluffs her hair, grateful that it always seems to hold better with a little bit of grease and dirt and sweat. Her boots feel comfortable on her feet even after her marathon day and her leather jacket is a warm, soothing comfort.
She sneaks out before anyone can find her. Not in the mood to deal with Octavia’s sass. Or Murphy’s grumping. Or Monty’s guilt trip.
She stops in the bathroom in the lobby and adds a dark coat of eyeliner to her tired face. Adjusts the devil horns just so on her head and grabs her bag not looking back.
Xx
The party is in full swing when she arrives. Bursting out of the big old house in Cambridge out onto the lawn and the porch. Clarke shakes her head, mystified by it all… it’s the middle of the fucking week.
She sets her bag down by the door and looks around. She sees a few familiar faces from her evenings out with Raven and her friends from school. Searches each room until she finds Raven cackling by the keg. Suited up in a stellar replica of a NASA space suit. Helmet under her arm and head thrown back laughing.
She can’t help but smile as she works her way through the crowd.
It’s a packed party. The air is humid and sticky with bodies and sweat and alcohol.
“You really outdid yourself this year!” She surprises Raven. Laughs at the shock and squeal her friend emits before turning around and punching her in the arm. “Ow, what the fuck?”
“Don’t sneak up on me, Griffin. You know I hate it!” She yells. Wraps her arms around Clarke’s neck and pulls her down for a hug. “They actually let you out?”
“If they didn’t I would have been written up so, yeah.”
“Oh, I never thought I’d be happier about your crazy hours than right now, Clarkey.” She pinches Clarke’s face. “Here, have a beer!” The red cup sloshes over her hand in Raven’s enthusiasm to hand it off.
Clarke more than happily obliges, downing the cheap light beer in large sips and refilling the cup before she pulls Raven outside to talk and enjoy the cool fall air.
“I can’t be inside another minute,” she says, leaning against the porch railing. There’s music, but it’s not so loud that the neighbors will complain.
They watch little superheroes and ninjas walk around collecting candy.
“How’s it been?”
“Busy as fuck. Halloween, Thanksgiving and New Year’s… the holy trinity of hospital visits.” Clarke ticks them off on her fingers with a sigh.
Raven raises her cup, “It’s all the alcohol, babe.”
“Mhm,” Clarke answers and gulps the gross beer down, already feeling a warm buzz. She should have eaten something on the way.
“I’m glad you’re here. You needed a night off.”
“I did.”
“You’re not going to be practicing hungover tomorrow are you?”
“No, my hours… I’ll have tomorrow off.”
“Good, because your laundry situation is getting out of hand.”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
“Anything for you, my dear.” Raven swings an arm around her shoulder and smacks a loud kiss on her cheek.
They stand outside chatting for a while. Clarke props herself on the porch railing and rests her aching feet. Raven refills their beers again and comes back with double decker orange and purple jello shots. Clarke groans but chews the shot and swallows it down with a grimace.
Raven is summoned to play beer pong and Clarke waves her off, needing a moment for the world to stop spinning and for the jello taste to leave her mouth.
This is how Lexa finds her.
Lexa who walks out of the crowded doorway and steals Clarke’s breath away. She almost falls backward off the railing.
Lexa. In scrubs. In a lab coat. Hair pulled up on top of her head in a messy bun and fake stethoscope around her neck.
Lexa with her real hospital badge clipped to the front pocket.
Lexa with a smirk – that smirk – on her face.
“Here you are,” She says, sauntering towards Clarke.
“Lex…” Clarke reaches out and pulls Lexa to her. Hands around her waist bringing her between Clarke’s legs. Clarke sees the familiar hospital logo stamped on the scrubs. Gets a thrill when she thinks about where Lexa must have pulled them from.
Brings Lexa down into a kiss.
She’s been wanting to kiss Lexa like this all day. There’s a sharp intake of breath, a hum, a tongue sliding along lips, and then it’s deeper.
Is everything Clarke wants and needs.
“You look really good,” Lexa whispers against her lips.
“So do you, doctor.” She purrs. kisses her again, because she can. Because Lexa is here with her, and Lexa is playing along, and Lexa looks really, really great in Clarke’s scrubs.
“Now you know how I always feel,” she says, dragging her lips down Clarke’s throat, giving them time to breathe.
“A taste of my own medicine?” She jokes. Lexa sucks a little too hard in response.
“Just proving my case,” she mutters into skin, her tongue soothing the spot.
“You know, sleeping with a doctor doesn’t make you qualified to practice medicine, Lex.”
“Why don’t we go home and test that theory.” Lexa husks it out against her ear and Clarke is about to say yes when another voice startles her.
“Griffin, come on, I need a new partner!” Raven calls out and breaks them apart. Clarke glares over Lexa’s shoulder to the door where her friend stands, hands on her hips and an expectant look on her face.
“Fuck off, Rave. I’m busy.”
“Come on, Clarke. I can’t go down like this!” She whines and Lexa giggles into Clarke’s neck where she is still hiding, cheeks red and warm on Clarke’s skin. That’s what does it for Clarke. If she stays here with Lexa between her thighs and kissing her neck, they’ll be doing things that can only be done in private.
“Fine, but you owe me.”
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go, sweet cheeks, move it.” She disappears into the house and Lexa finally looks up.
“Sorry…”
“Don’t worry about it.” Lexa’s eyes are dark and her lips are plump and red. “Go show off for me.” She smirks again and Clarke laughs.
“Alright, you got it, doc.” She pushes Lexa back and hops off the railing. Grabbing Lexa’s hand and pulling her into the house.
“The horns seem appropriate…” Lexa whispers behind her. Clarke squeezes her hand and wishes they went home instead.
Xx
They beat the next five teams handily. Clarke only has to drink two cups of beer in their run.
Raven is sassy and on fire next to her, sinking shots and talking smack like she’s not short and barely a hundred pounds.
Clarke thinks their luck has to do with the tall lean girl off to the side. The one who can’t take her eyes off Clarke as she shoots. The one who sends her dark looks and private smiles behind her cup.
The one Clarke needs to get her hands on.
They are forced to relinquish the table after the host of the party and his roommate are beaten again for the second time, and declare Raven and Clarke the ultimate champions. Clarke blushes and laughs at the round of begrudging applause and cheers the partygoers cynically throw their way. Raven, though, Raven bows and lifts her hands up to her ears asking for more.
She is…
She is so ridiculous and Clarke loves her so much.
Lexa hands her a fresh cup of beer when she is finally released from her partner duties. Kisses her with a little extra something and smiles against her lips.
“Impressed?”
“Definitely,” Lexa nods. Her voice is husky and Clarke can feel that tension that lives in the space between them ramp up.
“Come on,” She pulls Lexa through the large kitchen away from the beer pong and to the bathroom she found in the hall. They only have to wait a moment for a tiny blonde girl to stumble out with a laugh before she has Lexa inside and the door shut and locked behind them.
They meet in a heated kiss, well past any teasing or propriety. Clarke knows what she wants and thrums with it. Lexa’s hands grip her ass and pull her close, her lips nonstop and devastating.
Hands sneak under Clarke’s shirt and scratch lightly at the skin at the base of her back. She gasps and pulls at Lexa’s lip a little, spurning her on.
Swallows the moan that lives in the back of Lexa’s throat.
Comes alive with it.
Tugs at the scrubs and tries to get Lexa closer, closer.
“Where did you get these,” she says, nipping along Lexa’s sharp jaw.
“My hamper,” Lexa replies, tilting her head to allow Clarke more access. They thud back against the door and Clarke groans at the way their bodies bump together. Push up against each other and seek the heat. “They’re the ones you wore home last week because you were-” she stops to gasp as Clarke’s hands rake up her stomach. “Too tired.” She finishes and tilts Clarke’s mouth back to hers.
“The coat?”
“Hospital laundry. Rhonda seemed particularly keen with me.”
“Do I have to keep an eye on that?”
“Hmm… maybe.” Lexa jokes. “I washed these by the way.”
“I can tell. They don’t smell like a fifteen hour surgery.”
“Just checking.”
Clarke dips into her again and keeps sliding her hands up, up. Teasing just under Lexa’s bra. There’s a patch of skin there that is so soft, and so sensitive, it always causes a reaction.
She’s not disappointed when Lexa inhales quickly and pulls her lips away from Clarke’s.
“Clarke,” she gasps.
“Shh, babe.” Clarke captures her mouth again and slides her thigh between Lexa’s in earnest. All too familiar with the very thin barrier the scrubs provide. Lexa’s teeth sink into her lower lip for a moment before her head tilts back again, enjoying the way Clarke’s thigh moves up against her.
Clarke smirks and kisses the strong neck under her lips, runs her tongue along that little dip just before Lexa’s collarbones.
Smiles as Lexa’s hands press into her lower back and pull her closer, tighter.  She wiggles her fingers and gets up under the cloth and wire barrier, teasing the underside of Lexa’s breasts.
“Clarke,” Lexa hisses. Breaks out of their trance. Stands up straighter and looks at Clarke with wide, dark eyes. “We can’t.”
“Why not?” Clarke bites her lip.
“If we start this here we’ll have to finish. And I am not about to do this quickly.”
Those words send a shudder down Clarke’s spine. She’s suddenly speechless and gaping.
Lexa releases her grip on Clarke’s back and toys with the devil horns that have started to slip down her hair in the wake of their make out.
“Very, very appropriate.” She smiles and fixes them.
Clarke tries to shake the lust off of her, but it’s just not happening with Lexa looking at her like that.
“Come on, let’s go home and you can get me out of your scrubs.”
Another shiver. Clarke has to kiss her again after that. It’s hot and wet and insistent.
“Clarke, please…” Lexa begs and that’s what breaks her out of the trance. She needs all of Lexa, and she won’t be able to have her in this stranger’s bathroom.
“Okay, okay. Let’s go.”
They exit the bathroom much the way they went in, with Clarke throwing open the door and dragging Lexa behind her. They earn a smirk and a low whistle of appreciation from a guy waiting in the hall and Clarke would stop to shove him if she could think about anything else. But all she can focus on is getting Lexa inside of her.
Instead, they make their way to the door, grab Clarke’s bag and spill out onto the street.
“Wanna order a car? It’ll be quicker.” Lexa asks, tugging Clarke to a stop and waving her phone in her free hand.
“Yeah, do it.”
“Two minutes,” she says, eyes focused on Clarke’s lips again.
“Good.”
The wait is agony. They get closer and closer together. Share heated looks. The tension building.
The blue car pulls up and they both jump inside, eager to get back. Their pinkies touch on the seat between them, but nothing else.
Clarke can’t risk it.
Can’t even touch this girl next to her for fear that the unstoppable urges will take over. She leans her head on the window instead. Watches the city pass by outside and enjoys the cool glass on her face.
It’s soothing. Lexa’s presence relaxes her and the long shifts she’s had for the past few days creep over her. The beer she consumed on too empty of a stomach starts to work its magic. Her eyes feel heavy and she sits back in the seat even more.
The car ride isn’t long, but it’s long enough for Clarke to start drifting.
Even with the dirty make out still prickling her skin. And Lexa close to her, ready to reconnect after a long week.
She doesn’t realize she drifted off until Lexa is nudging her gently. “Come on, Clarke. We’re here.”
Clarke hums and allows Lexa to guide her out of the car. She hears hushed thanks and then the driver is gone. Clarke opens her eyes and tries to wake up. She smiles when she sees Lexa standing there under the streetlights in her scrubs with her bag over her shoulder and hair messily falling out of its bun.
It’s such a sight.
A warm wave tugs at Clarke and she steps closer to Lexa. cups her elbows and pulls her in for a soft kiss.
“What was that for?”
“I just like you, I guess.” Clarke shrugs. She loves the smile that plays at Lexa’s lips. It starts slow but opens and blooms beautifully into her full wide smile. The toothy grin that Clarke knows is special.
Lexa pulls her into a hug and hums happily.
“Ready to go upstairs?” Clarke teases it out.
“To bed? Yeah,” Lexa responds.
“No…” Clarke sasses. Stifles a yawn.
“You’re exhausted, Clarke.”
“No, I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s time for me to do dirty, dirty things to you, Lex.”
“Let’s see if you can make it all the way up and to the bedroom. Then we can renegotiate.”
Clarke groans as Lexa guides them up the stairs and to the front door. She feels weaker with every step, and grumpy because Lexa is probably right.
But all she really wants to do is make her come.
“You look good in my scrubs…” she purrs, her face tucked into Lexa’s neck.
“Don’t worry, I’ve already made note of that for the future.”
“Oh yeah? I think you’re the one who needs these devil horns, Lex.”
Lexa laughs as they begin the slow climb up to her apartment and Clarke’s heart flutters in her chest.
Xx
In the end, she does get Lexa out of her scrubs with a few long, slow, wonderful kisses stretched between them. But instead of the hot, steamy, dirty sex she was craving, she is pushed down into Lexa’s sheets with arms wrapped around her as they settle next to each other and drift away to sleep.
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supernatural-jackles · 8 years ago
Text
Where It All Began (College AU) Part 29
Title: Where It All Began (College AU) Part 29
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word Count: 6,906
Warnings: Pregnant!Reader, Vomiting, Fluff, Smut
Catch Up: Masterlist
A/N: AH! The second last part to this series. Thank you all for waiting so DAMN patiently for this part! I promise you, you won’t have to wait nearly as long for the finale part. I hope y’all enjoy this part! As always, I appreciate your feedback, thoughts, and hey, send me what you think is going to happen in the next chapter. Enjoy!
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You and Dean rushed to the hospital as fast as possible. He broke a handful of speed limits on the way, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel. You could only imagine how he was feeling right now. He didn’t deserve to go through this. He has been in the hospital way too many times to count and every time, someone he loved was hurt. He was always so close to losing someone he loved. So you did the only thing you could do, you reached over and grabbed his hand off the steering wheel and took it in yours, squeezing tightly to reassure him that you were there.
 When you arrived at the hospital, Jess and Sam were sitting in the waiting room, no signs of Mary anywhere. Dean held you close; closer than he usually did. Jess made her way over to the two of you, hugging Dean first before you. Sam joined behind her slowly, unsure of what to say. His hands shoved in his pockets.
 “Guess it’s a good thing our flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow,” Jess broke the silence.
 “Where is he?” Dean questioned. “And mom?”
 “They took him back. Everything is going to be okay. It was a minor heart attack, he was cutting the grass in the backyard when it happened. Mom called 911 and got him here as quick as possible,” Sam explained. “Mom’s back there with him now.”
 “Can we see him?” you inquired.
 “Right now, no. They are doing a bunch of tests to see if there is any damage to dad’s heart and mom is there, well because she’s mom and wouldn’t take no for an answer,” Sam chuckled. Mary was a tough woman, and that you knew. You could practically see her arguing with the doctors to let her through. “Dean, it’s late. You and Y/N have work in the morning. Mom will probably want to see you tomorrow when everything has calmed down.”
 “Are you sure? I don’t mind staying,” Dean sighed.
 “Dean, it’s okay. Really. I’ll tell mom you stopped by and that you’ll see her and dad tomorrow,” Sam urged, a small smile playing on his lips at Dean’s stubbornness. You wrapped your arm around his waist and leaned into him. His body relaxed instantly, you could feel the tension leaving his body.
 “Okay. Call me if anything changes, I don’t care what time it is!” Dean pointed his finger at Sam. You smiled softly at the interaction between the two brothers. Sam nodded and smiled at his older brother. “You ready to go, sweetheart?”
 “Yeah,” you grinned up at him. He leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. “I’ll see you guys later. Have a safe flight,” you told them. Jess hugged you tightly, telling you that she would text you when she got back to Stanford.
 Dean was a lot calmer on the ride home. Led Zeppelin played softly in the background as you traveled the dark, empty roads. You were so thankful that John was going to be okay. John was like a father to you, he was a better father to you than your own was. But you were happy that Dean didn’t lose him. He would have been devastated. You can remember just how broken up he was when Mary was sick. You spent many days in the library trying to comfort him. Your hand rubbing his shoulder, assuring him that everything was going to be okay. You always saw a whole other side to Dean that he never dared to show anyone else.
 You waked in the front door just after midnight, both of you exhausted. You headed straight to the room you two shared, changing into your pajamas before going to the bathroom to brush your teeth. Dean joined you moments later in the bed. He let out a loud sigh.
 “Dean, you okay?” you questioned, moving your body closer to his.
 “Yeah,” he breathed out. “Just gave me a good scare is all.”
 “You and me both. You’re mom’s a badass though,” you chuckled.
 “You should have seen her when we thought Sam had an appendicitis,”  he let out a laugh. “If I remember correctly, I think she threatened the nurse’s career.”
 You couldn’t help but smile at the look of love on his face when he talked about his mom. “I’m so glad that both of your parents are okay, Dean.”
 “Me too. I’m sorry your mom isn’t here though. Especially now.” He looked over at you, turning on his side to face you completely. “Are you okay with this? I mean this wasn’t exactly planned.”
 “Honestly, I’m happy about this. I know it wasn’t planned and that is completely my fault-”
 “Hey, it’s not just your fault. It takes two, Y/N.”
 “Are you okay with this?”
 “Sweetheart, you have no idea how happy I am,” he beamed. He moved down to the middle of the bed, his face coming up to your stomach.
 “Dean, I should probably make a doctor’s appointment to make sure,” you told him.
 “Yeah. I’m going to be there,” he replied, lifting your shirt up just enough to reveal your stomach to him. “I’m going to be at every appointment. I’m not going to miss a single one.”
 “Would it be okay if we didn’t tell your parents just yet?” you asked him. “Or anybody?”
 “Yeah, that's completely fine. We can tell them when you’re ready,” he responded. His fingers traced over the skin of your stomach. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. It was like he was expecting you to grow just before his eyes.
 You were scared, of course you were. A huge part of you was excited though. This was huge and you couldn’t be happier. You were happy that Dean was happy about this. He was more supportive than you ever expected him to be. You never expected him to go out with you to buy tests, or for him to be there when you took them. You loved him more for how sweet he was. But watching him right now with his eyes glued to your stomach because he knew there was something growing inside of you; something that is both of you, made you love him more than ever.
 You didn’t have any doubts that he wouldn’t be an amazing father. You were sure he already loved the baby, just like you did. You couldn’t wait to watch Dean become a father. He was going to protect your child just like he protected you. He was going to be as amazing as both of his parents were at raising him and Sam.
 “Dean.”
 “Yeah?”
 “I love you so much.”
--------------------------------
 You woke up with this awful taste in your mouth. Your stomach was churning and you felt more nauseous than you have felt in since college. You practically threw the covers off of the bed and made a beeline for the bathroom, barely making it in time for you to spill the contents of last nights dinner into the toilet.
 “Babe,” you heard the familiar gruff of Dean’s voice as he made his way into the bathroom. He carefully pulled the hair away from your face just in time for you to throw up once more. You hated that Dean had to see you like this and quite frankly, you wondered how he could stand seeing you like this. This was definitely not a good look for you, and the last thing you would have wanted was for the man you loved to see you spilling the contents of your stomach first thing in the morning.
 You finished up and flushed the toilet. You let out a sigh of defeat before getting back up to wash your hands and face and to brush your teeth.
 “You okay, sweetheart?” he asked, cupping your cheek, his eyes glossed with concern.
 “Yeah,” you stated. With that, he left you in the bathroom, letting you do what you needed to. By the time you emerged from the bathroom and back into the bedroom, Dean was back and holding a mug in his hand.
 “Peppermint tea. It’s caffeine free and I read that it’s supposed to help settle your stomach,” he revealed. You smiled widely as tears glistened in your eyes. This was the third morning in a row that you had woken up only to throw up. It was such a simple gesture and it meant the world to you.
 “Thanks, Dean,” you muttered, taking the mug from him with a soft smile before moving back to the bed the two of you shared. You took a few small sips, the peppermint instantly calming your stomach, making you feel a lot better. Dean sat at the end of the bed on your side and looked over at you; admiring you. “You ready for the appointment today?”
 “You bet. Sam wanted to get together tonight but I told him that you and I had a date night planned. You still haven’t told anyone yet have you?”
 “No. But now that you say Sam wants to get together with you, Jess is going to want the same. Hiding something from her is like trying to hide something from you-”
 “Impossible.”
 “Exactly. Not to mention every time she and I get together, there is a ninety-five percent chance alcohol will be involved. It will be so obvious,” you breathed out, placing your mug on the bedside table.
 “Yeah, and babe, you’re also showing a little. You’re almost twelve weeks,” he reminded you. “You have no idea how beautiful I think you are.”
 “You’re just saying that because I’m getting bigger,” you giggled.
 “I’m saying it because it’s true. You were beautiful before you were pregnant and you’re even more beautiful when you are. You have this glow to your skin that I can’t even describe. I don’t know if it’s because you’re mine and the fact that we made that together. If we didn’t have to head to work in an hour I would take you right now.”
 “Well, we have tonight,” you winked.
 The work day went by faster than you expected. Your first two classes had an in class essay to write, not that it was a big deal or worth a lot of marks. You just wanted to see how well your students were grasping the concept of essay writing. For lunch, you spent the hour in Dean’s office. He couldn’t keep his hands off you ever since you found out you were pregnant. It was the sweetest thing, and you definitely didn’t mind.
 After work, he drove you to your doctors appointment. Today was the day you were going to hear your baby’s heartbeat for the first time. You glanced out the window, Dean’s hand in yours in the middle of the impala. You could tell he was just as eager as you were and quite frankly, you thought it was adorable.
 “So, Sam texted me after lunch about meeting up tonight and I think Jess is going to come by to hang out with you. Do you want to do something with all four of us or?” Dean asked as you sat down in the doctor’s office. You and Dean had the last appointment of the day, leaving you alone in the waiting area.
 “Go hang out with your brother. I’ll be fine with Jess,” you told him.
 “Alright,” he grinned. “Wanna make a bet?”
 “Alright, Winchester. What’s the bet and what do I win?”
 “You’re cocky, you know that, Mrs Winchester,” he chuckled. “I want to bet you that within the first twenty minutes of you and Jess hanging out that she finds out you’re pregnant. The winner is on top tonight.”
 “You have so little faith in me! I won’t give in,” you stated, crossing your arms. “But I’ll play. I definitely wouldn’t mind being on top tonight. I can’t go wrong with seeing you writhing underneath me with that sexy mouth of yours open and that almost sinful tongue peeking past your lips.”
 “Oh is that so? See, I love being on top, and I know you love it too. You love having my body on top of yours, no space between our bodies. I love watching your face as I thrust into you. I love the way you grip my arms. But most of all, I love the look on your face when I make you-”
 “Mr and Mrs Winchester,” the nurse called out. You had to take a deep breath and try to forget the words that just came out of your husband’s filthy mouth. Dean stood up first, holding his hand out for you to help you up.
 “We got a deal?” he whispered in your ear. You turned your head and stood on your tiptoes, pressing a firm kiss to his lips.
 “Game on, Dean.”
 You lay on the table, Your shirt bunched up around your breasts. Dean sat next to you, holding your hand the entire time. The ultrasound technician told you what was going to happen and how she was going to explain in further detail what exactly was going on with your baby.  
 She poured some cold gel on your growing baby bump and started moving it around. You began to see the image appear on the screen. Dean squeezed your hand as the image became clearer.
 “So right now you are twelve weeks and two days along. On the screen you will see your baby’s development this far in. Here you can see your baby’s nose and their eye sockets,” she explained, pointing them out for you to see on the screen. “Your baby is developing very well. It is a healthy size, at twelve weeks, your baby is about the size of a lime. I don’t see any sort of abnormalities in your fetus, which is a good sign. Now let’s check for a heartbeat.”
 She moved the machine over your stomach, carefully spreading the gel a little more. Then you heard it, how could you not? It was loud and steady. Your baby’s heartbeat. Tears sprang to your eyes. It was all so real to you now. There was a healthy living thing inside of you.
 “Your baby has a strong heartbeat,” she stated. “I’ll give you and dad a moment to yourselves.”
 She exited the room, but you couldn’t take your eyes off the screen. There was your beautiful baby, a piece of you and Dean. You quickly turned to face him and instantly saw the tears in his eyes.
 “Dean?” you breathed out.
 “That’s our kid,” he whispered. “We made that.” A single tear slipped down his cheek before he smiled down at you. You met him halfway, kissing him like your life depended on it. You couldn’t believe just how happy you were in that moment. It was a moment you would treasure forever.
 You got back to the house just after six, smiles plastered on both of your faces. Dean carried your bag in from the car and held the door open for you. Much to your surprise, you were greeted to two familiar faces.
 “Where have you guys been? We’ve been here since four,” Jess called out, making her way over to you, pulling you into her arms. For a moment you tensed, worrying that she would feel your tiny, yet growing belly.
 “I had a few students that needed extra help and Dean stayed back with me to keep me company,” you lied.
 “Well, we’re just glad you’re safe. I hope you don’t mind but we were hungry from our flight so we cooked one of your frozen pizza’s,” Sam added in, taking a bit out of his slice. The house smelled like veggie pizza. You didn’t know if it was a good smell of bad.
 “No no, that’s fine. We still heading out tonight?” Dean asked his younger brother.
 “Yeah,” he nodded with food in his mouth.
 “We going out too, Y/N?” Jess asked.
 “You know, I thought we could stay here. It’s been a long day,” you told her. “Maybe we can watch a movie, eat some junk food. Have a girls night in?”
 “Sounds like a plan.”
 You and Dean headed to your bedroom to go and change out of your work clothes. The second the door closed, his hands were on your body, lifting your shirt over your head. His eyes trailed over your body, stopping on your stomach for a moment before he kissed you hard, taking your breath away.
 “The timer starts the second I walk out that door,” he muttered against your lips.
 “Alright, so a grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the duty free shop in the airport, I figured we could get a few drinks in us just like old times,” she smiled, pulling the bottle from her purse. Dean had been gone thirty seconds and you already knew that you were going to lose this bet.
 “I’m not really feeling the alcohol tonight, Jess,” you shrugged, pulling a bag of dill pickle chips from the cupboard. You turned to look at her and instantly saw the surprised look on her face. “What?”
 “You never skip out on drinks. Not even one,” she pointed out. “You feeling okay?”
 “Yeah, just a long day is all. I’m fine I swear,” you smiled. “So I was thinking we could watch Pitch Perfect or some other chick flick. What do you say?”
 “Hell yes!”
 You had five minutes left until you won the bet. You were surprised to say the least. Jess had been a little quiet. The only sounds that filled the room were the ruffling sound of the dill pickle chip bag. You knew she could tell something was up. Her eyes were on you, you could feel them every so often.
 “How are things with you and Sam?” you asked, breaking the silence.
 “Is it that obvious?” she questioned, sheepishly. You glanced over at her, her eyes not quite meeting yours.
 “Jess?”
 “I think he wants to break up, Y/N” she stated, tears filling her eyes. “We’ve been together for so long and I’m still so in love with him but he’s been really distant lately. Every morning, I wake up and he’s not there. It’s been forever since he and I have had sex. I don’t know what happened. He doesn’t talk to me anymore.”
 “Jess, he still loves you! That boy loves you more than you could ever imagine. You guys have been together longer than Dean and I have. If Dean and I can get through what we’ve gotten through, you two will be just fine. Just talk to him. You’ll feel better once you do,” you assured her.
 “Yeah, you’re right,” she breathed out. “I need a drink, and so do you.”
 “I’m good, but by all means, have a drink,” you beamed.
 “Oh no, I am not drinking alone,” she stated, pouring you both a glass.
 “I can’t Jess-”
 “It’s Friday Y/N, you said you had a long day, this will take the edge off,” she smiled, handing you the glass of amber liquid.
 “I can’t,” you grinned, placing the glass on the table. She looked at you, her brows furrowed.
 “Wait, you aren’t- are you? Are you pregnant?”
 You lifted your shirt up, revealing your tiny baby bump. You glanced up and saw the tears in her eyes. Her smile was wider than you had ever seen it.
 “Congratulations Y/N, how far along?”
 “Twelve weeks and two days. That’s why Dean and I didn’t get home until late. I had an appointment. We heard the baby’s heartbeat today,” you told her.
 “Why didn’t you tell me!” she practically screamed with excitement.
 “He and I wanted to wait until the second trimester to tell everyone. We’re planning on telling everyone at Christmas,” you informed her.
 “That totally explains why Dean can’t seem to take his eyes or his hands off of you. You both looked so happy the second you walked in that door.”
 “We are really happy about this. I was terrified when I found out. I had missed a few pills and when I was late, I freaked out. Dean was so great. He literally held me together when I told him I was late. He was very sweet.”
 “I’m so happy for the two of you. You both are going to make amazing parents.”
 You and Jess continued to chat throughout the movie. You texted Dean to let him know he won the bet. You also told him to tell Sam to knock it off and talk to his girlfriend. What you didn’t tell Jess was that Sam was planning on proposing to her and he was nervous as hell to ask her. He didn’t want her to figure it out. Dean was happy for his baby brother though, very happy.
 The second Jess headed to bed with Sam, you dragged Dean to the bedroom and let him have his way with you. Needless to say, he made good on his naughty words he shared with you in the doctor’s office.
 Sam proposed to Jess the day before Thanksgiving. He did it discreetly, in the place where he first asked her out on a date. Of course, everyone knew he was going to ask her before she did. Sam told everyone, including his parents, and his aunt and uncle that he was going to, then swore everyone to secrecy.
 It was getting harder to hide your pregnancy from his family. Jess was still the only one to know. You made he promise not to tell Sam. You couldn’t have any wine at dinner, and you were watching what you ate. You wore baggy clothing. Christmas couldn’t have come quick enough.
 “Alright sweetheart, you ready to go?” he called out from in the bedroom. You grinned, emerging from the bathroom to join him. He was wearing a warm sweater that marbled his body exquisitely, jeans that fit snugly to his legs. He smiled softly at you. You were definitely showing now.
 “I’m ready,” you told him. You wore a Christmas t-shirt with a loose fitting black cardigan. Your jeans no longer fit so you went with a pair of black leggings. “You know, we should start picking out some names we like.”
 “Yeah we should. How is baby doing today?” he asked, kneeling down in front of you. His hands came up to your growing stomach, his lips pressed against the fabric.
 “Baby is good.”
 “And mom?”
 “Mom is excited. I can’t wait to tell your parents today Dean. I hate that I haven’t seen them since Thanksgiving,” you revealed.
 “They are excited to see you. I’m glad both of you are healthy. The doctor says you have a very healthy pregnancy, and you’re almost sixteen weeks,” he smiled up at you. “I can’t wait to see the look on my mom’s face.”
 Dean placed one more kiss to your stomach before getting up. He pressed his lips to yours sweetly. He helped you put your winter jacket on and even assisted you with your boots. The two of you headed out the front door and straight to the impala to head to his parents for Christmas.
 Dean sang along to some Christmas carols on the way over. His voice incredibly out of tune and he got a lot of the lyrics wrong, but you were certain he was doing it to make you laugh. You were laughing alright. He always had the ability to make you laugh.
 You tried your best to hide your stomach the best you could before you headed to the front door of Dean’s parents house. You held the gifts that were meant for his parents, Sam and Jess. You took a deep breath as Dean rang the doorbell. Mary opened the door, her smile wide.
 “Merry Christmas Mom,” Dean beamed. Mary pulled him into her arms. Oh god, Mary was going to hug you as well. She would definitely feel your baby bump when she did.
 “Merry Christmas you two. Come on in and get set up in the living room,” she told you both. Relief coursed through your body. You would be able to hug her as soon as you broke the news.
 Mary took off into the kitchen, leaving you and Dean to take off your jackets. Dean took the presents from your arms and carried them into the living room before coming back to help you. Your eyes met his gorgeous green ones for a moment before his hands snuck around your waist.
 “You’re beautiful, you know that?” he said. He leaned down and gave you a quick peck on the lips. “You ready?”
 “I’m ready, babe.”
 Dean took your hand and lead you over to the couch. The couch that had so many memories associated with it. This is where you realized just how hard you were falling for him. This is where you asked John to walk you down the aisle, where Dean asked you to marry him. Now there was going to be one more memory added into the mix.
 You sat down, adjusting your sweater so that it would successfully cover your stomach. Dean snaked his arm around your shoulder, placing a chaste kiss to your forehead. You leaned into him, relaxing into his touch.
 “Merry Christmas everyone,” John beamed. In his hand, he was carrying a small cooler filled with cold beers for everyone to drink. You began to worry that Mary and John weren’t going to be happy that you and Dean were having a baby. You had only been married for 6 months. You made eye contact with Jess for a moment. She sent you a wink and somehow that was reassuring. You knew his parents. His parents loved you both. They would be happy for you. “Beer?”
 “Oh, no thanks,” you smiled.
 “You don’t have to worry about driving, kiddo. We have Dean’s room set up for the two of you,” he assured you.
 “I’m okay.”
 “So Uncle Bobby and Aunty Ellen aren’t coming this year. They are spending it with Jo and Zach. Looks like it’s just us this year,” Mary informed everyone. She came in, her apron still tied around her waist.
 “More pie for me,” Dean chuckled. Mary gave him a knowing smile.
 “Alright, shall we open presents?”
 Sam handed out the presents to everyone first before anyone opened anything. You watched as Jess opened her gift from Sam. He had gotten her a beautiful necklace that matched her engagement ring perfectly. You watched as her eyes welled with tears, launching herself into Sam’s lap. She had gotten Sam a collection of old books that he had been looking at in August. He was completely surprised by it. He had thought she wasn’t paying attention. She also bought him some more flannels, but you both knew they weren’t just for him. John and Mary both gave them some money they could use to put towards their wedding.
 After all the presents were opened, wrapping paper covered nearly every part of the floor. Dean helped you put on his gift to you, which was a charm bracelet. John grabbed another beer while Mary took a seat in his lap. Sam was telling everyone a story about what happened to him before finals. Your stomach was filled with anticipation, your palms began to sweat.
 “Well I better get back to the kitchen. The potatoes aren’t going to mash themselves,” Mary sighed.
 “Mom wait,” Dean called out. Alright, it was time. Dean looked over at you for a moment, needing your reassurance before continuing. You smiled softly, reaching for his hand. “We have one last thing to share.” Mary took her seat back on John’s lap, her eyes locked on the two of you. Dean squeezed your hand.
 You stood up, releasing Dean’s hand. Your fingers made their way to the hem of your Christmas shirt, you slowly revealed your stomach to his parents.  “Y/N’s pregnant.”
 “OH MY GOD!” Mary screamed, jumping out of John’s lap. She pulled you into her so quickly you didn’t even know what hit you. When she finally released you, you could see the tears in her eyes. “I’m going to be a grandmother,” she breathed out.  “Congratulations!”
 Tears sprang to your eyes. Her reaction was more than you ever imagined it would be. She pressed her hand to your baby bump. You could see she already loved her grandkid. John came up to you not long after, pulling you into a hug.
 “Congratulations to both of you. You’re going to make amazing parents,” he assured you.
 He ushered Mary away from you, promising her that she could ask anything she wanted after dinner. The smile was permanent on her face, John’s as well. He pulled Dean in his arms the second he walked back in the room.
 “You have no idea how hard this was to hide from everyone,” Jess admitted.
 “Wait, you knew?” Sam questioned.
 “I got it out of her four weeks ago,” Jess confessed.
 “Wow, my own fiancee!” he joked. “Congratulations guys. I’m so happy for the two of you. Who would have thought this time last year that this would happen.”
 It hit you then. This time last year you were healing from a gunshot wound. The thought hadn’t really crossed your mind, even with it being Christmas time. You and Dean didn’t talk much about the incident. You were finally over it. You were happy to be healthy and alive.
 “I’m grateful everyday,” Dean added, looking down at you.
 You were getting a lot of love, and you were happy that Mary and John were excited for the two of you. You never really realized how big of an effect it had on you though. You couldn’t help but have this heavy feeling in your chest, and you knew why.
 “I’m just going to excuse myself. Bathroom,” you said quietly. You took off almost instantly, headed upstairs to the bedroom you and Dean had shared so many times.
 You shut the door silently behind you before taking a seat on the end of the bed. Tears welled in your eyes once more, this time, they weren’t happy tears. You didn’t want to cry, not over this. You knew it was going to happen at some point. You just never expected it to be so hard.
 “Sweetheart?” Dean’s voice called in. He was peeking his head in the door before he entered, closing it behind him. He closed the space between the two of you and kneeled down in front of you. He took both your hands in his, concern evident on his face. “What’s wrong, babe?”
 “Just thinking,” you smiled weakly.
 “About what?” His voice was an octave higher than usual. It was soft and laced with worry but he put on a strong face, knowing that it’s probably what you needed.
 “I never thought telling your parents about this would be like this. They were so excited, like beyond excited and happy for us! It’s more than I ever expected, but I can’t help but wonder if this is how-”
 “If this is how your mom would have reacted?” he finished for you. You nodded your head. “I want you to listen to me, sweetheart. Your mom would have reacted way more excited than this. You were her youngest daughter and she loved you more than anything. She would have been so happy for both of us and I know it’s not fair that she’s not here and that she doesn’t get to experience this. She left this world way too soon, but I will tell you now, she is watching you right now, and she is so happy for you. Your mom would have dropped her glass, letting it shatter against the tile floor. She would have screamed at the top of her lungs and raced over to as quick as her legs would let her. You would have to beg her to let go of you.” Dean cupped your cheek, his thumb wiping away your tears. You leaned into his touch. “Just remember that babe.”
 “Have I told you how much I love you lately?” you asked him, genuinely.
 “You tell me you love me everyday,” he smiled. “You show me you love me more often than that.”
 “Good. I don’t want there to be a day that you question that,” you stated.
 “I should be saying that to you,” he winked.
 You headed into the kitchen to see if Mary needed any help while Dean spent some time with his dad and brother. Mary still had a wide smile plastered on her lips. Jess was smiling just as wide.
 “Can I help with anything?” you asked.
 “Nope, you can sit and relax,” Mary told you.
 “Are you sure? I may be pregnant but that doesn’t mean I can’t help,” you giggled.
 “I can’t believe you are pregnant! This is amazing. How far along are you?” she questioned.
 “Almost sixteen weeks. Dean and I wanted to wait until the second trimester to start telling people, just in case something happened. The doctor said we are both very healthy and the baby is growing just fine,” you explained.
 “I can see how happy Dean is about this,” she pointed out.
 “What am I happy about?” Dean interrupted, making his way over to you. His hands were instantly around your middle, resting on your stomach while he pressed a kiss to your cheek.
 “About the baby,” she smiled.
 “You know it. This kid is going to be a badass, just like his mom.”
 “His? You think it’s going to be a boy?” you questioned.
 “Yes I do.”
 “Funny enough, I think so too.”
 You helped Mary carry the dishes to the table, John and Sam joining you in the dining room. Sam distributed the plates on the table while you grabbed some spoons from the kitchen. The whole house smelled amazing. You couldn’t help but feel thankful for the family you had.
 -----------------
 You and Dean headed to bed a little later than you usually did. His parents were sharing old memories they had when both of the boys were younger. Some of the stories you had heard before, others were brand new to you. You enjoyed listening to them go on about how adorable each of their sons were as kids. You even piped in and shared your own stories about your own childhood which was nice. You hadn’t really shared much about your life before Dean with his parents and they seemed to really enjoy it, Dean too.
 The second the door closed, Dean’s hands were all over you, his lips on yours. You knew where this was headed, you could tell with the way his lips moved with yours and the way he held your body.
 “Dean, your parents are downstairs,” you muttered against his lips.
 “Yeah, my parents are drunk downstairs. If they hear anything, they probably won’t remember in the morning,” he grinned. “You have no idea how much I want you.” You reached down, your hand palming over the bulge in his pants. He definitely wanted you alright.
 Clothes were shed quickly, thrown across the room in an attempt to speed up the process. Your bra was on the floor in an instant. His boxers were thrown over by his closet, your panties joining them. Your back hit the mattress, Dean coming down on top of you, spreading your legs to fit him between them. His lips attacking your neck, your hand carding through his hair. You could feel the tip of his cock pressed against your entrance.
 Your hand reached between your bodies, taking Dean’s hard length in your hand, stroking him slowly, earning a delicious groan from his lips. “Y/N, fuck,” he whispered. You lined him up with your entrance, his eyes watching your every move.
 “Please, Dean,” you muttered. Your fingertip trailing up along his side, all the way back up to his chest. He nodded, licking his lips before pushing himself into your pussy, your walls stretching to accommodate his size. He let out a breathy moan the second he was fully sheath inside of you.
 “We still gotta be quiet, babe. Don’t want anyone walking in on us,” he hummed. He positioned himself on his elbows, so his body weight wasn’t resting on your stomach. He pulled out, almost all the way before thrusting back in you, effectively making you cry out. His lips were on yours in an instant, keeping you quiet.
 Your hands stayed cupped to his cheeks, holding him gently in place while he pushed into you over and over. You rolled your hips to match his slow thrusts. You relished in the feeling of him filling you up, over and over again.
 It didn’t take long for that familiar burn to appear in your core. Dean thrusted into you at the perfect angle, hitting your sweet spot each time. “Faster Dean.”
 “Fuck baby, I’m so close,” he mumbled.
 He picked up the pace alright. Both of you were panting and moaning as quietly as you could. His hand reached down and rubbed your clit, sending you over the edge in an instant. Your walls clenched around him, bringing him to his own orgasm. Pleasure coursed through your body, your legs shaking around him. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, muffling his moans as he spilled himself inside you.
 He pulled out of you, reaching to the floor for his shirt. He clean you off with the soft material before doing the same with himself. The two of you quickly settled into the bed, his arm pulling you close to him.
 “Well, we can scratch that off the bucket list,” he chuckled.
 “You sound so sexy when you come,” you confessed, trying to repress your smile.
 “You look sexier when you come,” he laughed. He placed a kiss to your cheek, pulling you in tighter. The two of you drifted off not long after that.
---------------------------
 “Y/N, come here!” Dean called out. You sighed, carefully getting up from the bed. You swung your legs over the edge of the bed, your feet hitting the carpet before heading down the hall where you knew Dean was.
 “Dean, I am thirty-six and a half weeks pregnant. I’m exhausted, my feet hurt, and your son won’t stop kicking,” you stated.
 “H-he’s kicking?” Dean stuttered. Every time the baby kicked or moved, he was always gone. He was either at work, or on a grocery run. It always happened when he was out of the house and it really upset him. You nodded your head, taking his hand and placing it on your huge stomach. The baby kicked instantly. Dean dropped to his knees, tears filled his eyes. “Hi baby. Daddy’s here. I love you.” He peppered your stomach with kisses, a single tear slipping down his cheek, your own sprang to your eyes at the sight of him
 “I love you, Dean.”
 “Words can’t describe how much I love you, both of you.”
 “So what did you need us for?” you questioned.
 “Right. I finished the room, in case you didn’t already notice. Is this okay? Do you like where everything is?” he inquired.
 When you and Dean found out you were having a boy, you were both ecstatic. You both knew it was going to be a boy, and you hoped for a son. You and Dean agreed on painting his room a light green. It certainly seemed to brighten the room. Dean had placed the crib farther away from the window, in the corner. There were two chairs set up on the other side, along with a bookshelf filled with some baby books. There was a dresser filled with clothes and a small basket with some baby toys.
 “The room is perfect, Dean,” you smiled. “Absolutely perfect.”
 It was the beginning of May and you were in a lot of discomfort. The baby was due in a week and you couldn’t wait any longer. You desperately wanted him out of you and in your arms. Sleeping comfortably was difficult, cuddling with Dean was impossible. Your feet were so swollen.
 Dean was trying to spend as much time at home with you as possible. He cooked dinner for the two of you, along with helping you clean and get comfortable. You swore you were never going through this again. One kid would be enough for the two of you. Dean only smiled, agreeing with every word that came out of your mouth.
 All in all, it hadn’t been a bad pregnancy in your opinion. You were really sick in the beginning, but you weren’t as hormonal as you expected to be. Nothing more than you would be before your period. Dean had been super supportive. You couldn’t have picked a better guy to have a kid with.
 You were headed back to the bedroom. You were going to rest up a little in hopes you could stay up and watch a movie with Dean a little later. The second you climbed on the bed, you felt something wet between your legs, something wetter than usual.
 “DEAN!” you shouted. He was there almost instantly, panic evident on his face.
 “Babe?”
“I think it’s time!”
Where It All Began Tags
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my-fanfic-soul · 8 years ago
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Can you write a Niall imagine where he wakes you up in the middle of the night crying because he's feeling really ill and he's got a headache and his stomach hurts and he really wants his mum because he's used to her taking care of him whenever he's ill? Thanks !!
Hey! Sorry it took me so long to get this written out and thanks for being patient with me. I went in a bit of a different direction than this for a few reasons and then it took on a mind of it’s own. I hope you still like it it!-- Meghan
Niallhates going to the doctor.
Imean, Niall hates going to the doctor.  As long as whatever illnesshe has doesn’t affect his ability to sing, he avoids the doctor at all costs. It doesn’t stop his whining, because on top of that he’s a horriblepatient, but after a while you learn to ignore it.  By “it” I mean, thewhining about being too hot, then being too cold.  The specific requestsfor noodles in his soup.  The declarations of his coming death.
Atleast he figured out pretty quickly that complaining about “That’s not how mymum did it!” wouldn’t fly much farther than a lead balloon.  His jaw hadsnapped shut and it was never brought up again when I told him he could go homeso Mommy could take care of him, then.
Wasit tough love?  Of course.  It’s not like I neglect him, but I workwith kids all day.  I don’t have time for a whiny man-child when I gethome.
Exceptthis time, even though he was just doing his general whining about not feelinggood and wanting to be waited on (he wasn’t), something told me there was anactual problem.  I might have ignored it, except a few hours after dinnerI saw him put his hand against his side and swear, “Fucking Christ, my stomachhurts.”
Somethingabout where he put his hand set off warning signals in my brain.  “Whereexactly does it hurt?” I asked him.
Niallpointed to the area of his belly button and said, “Around here.”
Afrown settled on my face.  “Maybe we should go to Urgent Care,” I suggest. “I don’t like where your pain is.”
Niallshook his head firmly.  “No doctors, I’m fine.  Just need somemedicine and my woman to take care of me.”
Rollingmy eyes, I picked my book up and kissed Niall on the forehead, thrown off by howwarm it felt.  “You’re cute, but that’s not happening.  There’s ablanket behind you.  I’ll be in the bath if you really need me.”
“Ialways need you,” he teased, his eyebrows wiggling as his eyes (and hands)zeroed in on my bum.
Isnorted as I straightened up.  “You must not be feeling too badly.”
Aswe got ready for bed that night, I noticed that Niall was looking pretty pale. When I asked about it, he said he was nauseous and his stomach was reallyhurting.  I tried to convince him to go to a doctor, but he still refused. I let it slide and eventually fell asleep, even with my mind racing inconcern.
At2 AM I woke up to the sound of Niall retching in the bathroom.  I was outof bed and beside him in the work of a moment.  Sweat was pouring off hisskin but what really threw me off were the tears streaming out of his eyes. Niall didn’t cry for no reason.  He wasn’t afraid of his emotions,but he never cried over spilled milk.  “Sweetheart,” I whispered, brushingmy hand against his forehead, feeling that he was blazing with fever. “How long have you been throwing up?”
“Idunno,” he whimpered, resting his head against my chest.  “My stomachhurts, my head hurts, and I can’t stop puking.”
Hewhimpered as I extricated myself from his hold and went to the sink to wet awashcloth.  When I came back, I wiped his mouth off and informed him, “Youno longer get a choice.  We’re going to the emergency room.”
Nialltried to shake his head and argued faintly, “No doctors.  I just need somemedici…” His words were cut off by his need to throw himself over the toiletagain to throw up.
“NiallJames Horan,” I said firmly.  “I think you have appendicitis.  Peptobismol and tylenol are not going to cut it this time.  Congratulations,you’ve finally turned me into a nursemaid.  I’m going to go find you ashirt and put on my shoes.  Just stay still for now, ok?”
GettingNiall out of the house and into the passenger seat of the car was an event inand of itself.  He cried out when I pulled his t-shirt on over his headand he cried as I slowly limped him to the car.  Every swear word he’sever learned, in multiple languages, fell out of his mouth.  He had tolean out of the car to vomit before I even got a chance to close his door.
WhenI handed him a ziplock bag, he managed to muster enough energy to sass me. “What the hell is this for?” he asked.  “We aren’t going on apicnic, woman.”
Irolled my eyes as I unzipped it for him.  “I know that, Niall.  Ibrought ziplock bags so you can puke into those and zip them up on the way tothe hospital.  It’ll be faster than pulling over and we’re less likely tobe papped while you’re on your deathbed.  Unless you want this onthe internet before we even get a chance to call your dad.”
Ifhe thought to argue or sass me some more, it was overridden by his queasiness. The entire trip to the hospital was spent with me muttering prayers undermy breath between making calls to everyone who would need to know-- hisbodyguard, his manager, his parents, and the hospital so they’d know they had apatient coming in with an increased need for privacy.  My gut was twistedlike a dishrag someone was trying to wring out.  My phone calls had beenmet with concern and even speculation that I was overreacting from Niall’smother.  She thought we should give it a few more hours at home before Irushed him off to the hospital for a stomach ache, but I knew with every fiberof my being that I was right to be worried.
WhenI pulled into the ambulance bay by request of the hospital staff over thephone, I was relieved to see two of Niall’s normal bodyguards standing therewith a nurse and a hospital official.  I gladly accepted a hug from one ofthem as I stepped out of the car and the other three started getting Niall intoa wheelchair.  “He doesn’t look good,” he said quietly as he took the keysfrom my hand.  “Stay with him, I’ll go park the car.  I think we’rein for a long night”
“Thankyou,” I whispered before I turned to follow Niall and his entourage into theprivate triage room.  I knew I was right to bring him here, but it feltnice to hear someone else who knows Niall when he’s well say it to me.
“Canyou tell us what’s wrong Niall?” a nurse asked him as she checked histemperature and pursed her lips.  I knew that look, it was never a good one.
Nialltook a deep breath and said, “My stomach, like on my side, is killing me and myhead is pounding.  I can’t see straight and I’m dizzy.”
“Theheadache and the dizziness are probably from dehydration.  How long haveyou been vomiting?” she asked as she switched to taking his blood pressure.
Ican tell they’re rushing around, trying to get him taken care of so we can bemoved to a room, but I feel like everything’s moving in slow motion.  Toofast and too slow at the same time.  It’s taking forever but before I knowit, we’re in a private room and Niall’s being hooked up to an IV for hisdehydration.  He’s asking for pain medication but they can’t give him anyuntil he’s seen by a doctor.
Thenthe doctor is in there and I’m cringing as the prod at Niall’s abdomen and hecries out in agony.  Normally I delight in being told I’m right, but Ifeel my stomach drop into my feet as the doctor tells us that I was right tobring him here, that he suspects it’s appendicitis.  That they still needto do a CT Scan and check his blood work before they can be 100% certain, buthe can’t see how it would be anything different.
Idon’t know how much time passes before they’re wheeling Niall out of the roomto go get the scan done, all I know is he finally got some relief from the painmedicine and the nausea medicine.  While Niall’s gone his manager arrivesand I fill him in on what’s going on.  We agree to wait until we have adefinitive answer before we call his parents and worry them any more than theyalready are.  I’m grateful for the company in the cold room, since thebodyguard who stayed behind is standing outside the door.
WhenNiall gets back I can see that he’s scared.  Knee injuries and things ofthat nature don’t scare him: he knows what caused them and knows how they canbe fixed.  This is different though and all I can do to ease his worry ishold his hand and brush my fingers through his hair.  They up his painmedicine and he starts to get a little loopy, but he still looks at me like I’msome kind of prize, even though he’s laying on his back in a hospital room.
Itfeels like an eternity but the clock says it’s only an hour later that thedoctor comes in and tells us that between his physical exam, the blood work,and the CT scan, they can confirm that it’s appendicitis and that he has surgeryscheduled for later in the morning.  That they believe they’ll be able touse the less invasive procedure.
Iwas expecting to feel some kind of relief at the news, knowing exactly what’swrong and that it can be fixed.  Instead, anxiety washes over me. We’re assured that this is a normal procedure and that it’s one of themost common surgeries performed in the hospital, but I can’t control thefeeling of dread.  Any time someone goes under anesthesia it’s a risk, andthe love of my life is about to go under the knife.
Hismanager offers to make all of the phone calls to family so I can stay withNiall.  I’m appreciative of the privacy for a bit, just holding Niall’shand as I watch him sleep.  A nurse brings me a blanket and a pillow atsome point, despite my protests that there’s no way I can sleep right now.
Mybody had other ideas though, because at 8 AM I’m being shaken awake and my headis coming up off the bed where it has been resting on my arms.  I lookaround blurrily and see the doctors there to start on Niall’s pre-op work. I move out of the way and a cup of coffee is pushed into my hands. Looking up, I see Niall’s manager.  “Thanks,” I mutter as I takesip.
“Willie’son his way,” he said as we watched them work around a barely awake Niall. I swore quietly; I had forgotten that his cousins were in town.  Foronce they weren’t staying with us and they had slipped my mind.  “He knowsyou had other things on your mind.  He wanted to sober up some before heheaded this direction.  The others will make their way here once Niall’sout of surgery and more awake.  I know you don’t like the circus affect.”
“Hedoesn’t need it.  He needs to heal,” I sigh.  “I have to find thetoilet.  Don’t let them take Niall to surgery until I get back.”
WhenI came back in they were getting ready to wheel him away.  I went to hisside and brushed his hair back needlessly.  “I love you,” I whisper. “You’ll do great.  I’ll see you once you come out of recovery.”
“Getdown here and kiss me, woman, I’m not dying,” he grumbles and I hear chucklesfrom around the room as I pretend that his hand pulling on my is effective. I kiss him lightly and he holds me in place instead of letting me pullaway.  “I’ll be fine, pet.  It’s just an appendectomy.  I’ll beout of here in no time.”
“Youdidn’t even know what an appendectomy was until a few hours ago,” I remind him. “Isn’t it supposed to be me comforting you?  You’re thepatient.”
“Butyou’re the love of my life and I know you’re worried.”
Ifrowned and kissed him again before pulling out of his grip.  I squeezehis hand one last time and tell him, “See you on the other side, Horan.” Once he’s gone a nurse leads us to the room that will be his once he’sout of surgery.  Normally they would have us wait in a public waitingarea, but the waiting room is public and we can’t risk pictures getting out ofus down there.  It’s a risk to our privacy, but also the other familieswaiting on word of their loved ones who could very well be facing much riskiersurgeries,
“I’mkind of wishing I hadn’t watched those Grey’s Anatomy reruns with you,” I heardfrom the door and I let out a sigh of relief when I saw Willie standing there. “Knowing what can go wrong in standard surgeries isn’t as relaxing as onewould think.”
Igot up to hug him and replied, “You’re telling me.  Thanks for coming.”
Willieshrugged as he lowered himself into an empty seat.  “Of course.  Howis he?”
Glancingup at the clock I say, “He should be heading into surgery any moment now. They’ll let us know if something happens and they have to switch to adifferent approach, but other than that they’ll just let us know when he comesout.  He’ll stay in recovery for a while, they’ll let us see him once hewakes up, and then they’ll move him up here.”
We’requiet for a bit before I hear Willie speak up, “I know they give you shit fornot being as nurturing as his mum, especially when he’s sick, but if you hadtried to act like her this may have been a very different surgery.  Shewould have tried to take care of him at home until at least now.  But ifyou had kept him at home, his appendix may have burst before they could doanything about it.  It may have worked when he was a kid, but he’s agrownup now who turns into a whiny ass when he’s sick.  You don’t put upwith his shit, but you know when things are too serious for you to handle. You’re good for him.”
Ismiled gratefully at him.  “Thanks for saying that.”
Itfeels like an eternity before they’re bringing Niall back up to his room. We opted not to go down to recovery because it was already crowded andonly one of us would be able to go.  When Niall opened his eyes as he wasrolled into the room, I nearly cried out in happiness.
“Hey,beautiful girl,” he mumbled as I went to him.
“Heyyourself,” I whispered as I sat on the edge of his bed.  “Now you’ve gottwo battle scars to show off to all the ladies.”
Hegave me a small smile.  “Only lady I want to show it off to is you.”
Ibrushed a finger down the side of his cheek.  “We can wait awhile before Itake a gander at it, alright?”  He nodded and before long he was asleepagain.
Allday long there was a steady stream of people coming in and out of his room. I stayed parked by his side for most of it, only getting up to use therestroom and when Willie dragged me forcibly from the room for food with theaid of one of the bodyguards.  Niall had been in fairly good spirits whenhe wasn’t sleeping and it was good for me to see him doing as well as he couldbe.  We’d be here for the night so he could get more antibiotics via IVbecause they weren’t happy with his white cell count.
Latethat night, after everyone but me and one bodyguard had gone home, I wascrawling into the chair by his side with a blanket and a pillow when Niallreached out and squeezed my hand.  I was worried he needed somethingbefore he said, “You take care of me better than my mum does.”
Icoughed out a small laugh as I ran a thumb over the top of his hand.  There’sno way he’d ever say that when he wasn’t on some good pain meds.  “I don’t think she’ll like hearing thattomorrow when she gets here.”
“It’strue though,” he muttered before drifting back off to sleep.  I couldn’tkeep the smile off my lips as I settled down next to him, blocking out thesounds of hospital around us as I drifted off.
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jeannine1395-blog · 7 years ago
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Just how I Modified My Way of thinking As well as Burst My Job.
Each Mama's Time before congregation, I posture for a photo along with my 3 little ones. Do not contrast your own self with other mothers and also don't aim to be any individual else's version of exactly what a good mom should be actually. Rather, you must discover time to perform traits you appreciated just before you ended up being a mommy. Angel entered your mind and the compromise picked through my Mommy was the label from Angie. I prefer an outstanding birthday party yearn for my mama which is actually still wonderful even on her 70th birthday party. A mother after bring to life her kid may really feel so irritated and also really wants all focus on be actually along with her.
I possessed a series of appendicitis strikes when I was actually 10 and also 11, and given that the medical professionals could not discover anything incorrect along with me, they essentially transformed my mother away when she delivered me to the medical facility, however my mother was actually insistent. Portion your pointers for exactly how our company could reveal Mother Earth that our company definitely carry out appreciate her. Even a tightly adhered little girl is going to feel enormous desertion when her mama denies the reality from youth physical, psychological or even sex-related manhandling. Being a petticoated boy, my mama asserted that I 'd be using my knickers beneath my young boy outfits day-to-day ... therefore if she did draw my jeans down facing every person, they would certainly all see my fancy knickers as well as the cat would certainly run out the bag. Just before I Became a Mommy. I possessed no tip that the trigger from love might come to be so apparent so quickly. Dave and Shaft decide to finally happen their honeymoon, but Thorn's mommy heads to preposterous durations to guarantee they do not leave behind.
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Helpful member of the family as well as buddies likewise go a very long way in creating the mommy enjoy her pregnancy. The client service and mommy's day presents reside in wide variety to pick for your mommy. To my mom who gives me the most ideal recommendations, enjoys me unconditionally, is my shining example, the pillar of our family and an accurate woman from toughness If I needed to produce a choice I would recommended site choose you over and over. To acknowledge that Overlooking Mommy Disorder" is actually the underlying reason for never experiencing right", can be the very first step on a female's Recuperation Experience. In this particular scenario, pick the sticker label baseding on the frame shade as well as utilize the layout area to change the task to whichever the little one would certainly most ideal want to do as a present to mama. One essential aspect of opinion in this instance is actually whether JJ's mama and doctor should have attempted a medication referred to as Marinol just before proceeding to weed. Cassidy's mom still does not like the tip of Cassidy coming to be a professional hockey player someday. Our experts give tribute to You, Blessed Mom Azna, as a result of our passion for You as well as Your passion for our company. Thank you for the compassion and also defense You have actually provided our company, Beloved Mommy. I would certainly possess offered everything to possess had a happy mama - a mommy who knew ways to have task for her personal happiness as well as discomfort. In a zero hour, when Mother requires his full focus for her and their child, he deludes her manuallying pointed out little one over to the masses. Aiming to consume your wedding event in the means your mom proposes - which is actually definitely unreasonable - seems to be to become the last try by your mommy to draw you back into this uneven, undesirable household dynamic.
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