#i read everything out there lmao idek anymore

[thecherrygod]

Hm

[deathdxnces]

it's this one + her thinking "That felt like a hundred years ago. Her father had been wrong. There had been no boys to bring her flowers, [...]" and "I’m not sure I have a heart to give any more, Papa."

that part in six of crows where ine.j remembers her dad talking about her mom and how in love they were and he has a whole speech about how it doesn't matter if a boy can give her things only that he takes the time to learn the things she likes and why (plus i.nej's follow up thinking about not having a heart to give anymore and being gifted knives instead of flowers)

i can't find the specific quotes on mobile i just think it's vibes for irelia and her dad

[wulfhalls]

(im just a movie fan) ik u dont ship them bc u think they could/should end up together lmao but, do u really think paul x jessica is the most plausible incest ship in dune? bc personally as someone whos only watched the movie, it seems like paul, even before everything goes down, has a sort of unease towards his mother and the bene gesserit ways she pushes onto him (idk if im reading it completely wrong, its been a while since ive seen the first movie). and the resentment only increases in the second movie in a way where i wonder if paul will be able to even speak to her without screaming at her in movie 3 lol. although they did have some INSANE chemistry dont get me wrong.

on the other hand, i feel like paul, from the movies at least, has some level of devotion with Leto, and leto obvi loves his son the most in the world. and ive also come across these book excerpts ppl have been posting, and it seems like the paul/leto relationship is even deeper in the books bc from the excerpts it seems that leto makes a point to confide in paul to prepare for dukedom, which is like a responsibility only those two can understand with each other. and then i remember an excerpt i saw where paul is the last memory that leto remembers before his death, which i thought heartbreakingly sweet (does paul gain that memory after taking the water of life?). Paul just loved him soo much the fact that hes starting the holy war bc some part of him just wants his father back its like insane and a lot. anyway idek what i'm saying anymore just that all the relationships in this story are great and rife with potential.

last sentence really sums it up! all relationship dynamics are deeply compelling here! I don't think this boils down to with which parent paul had the objectively "better" relationship with tho. for me pauljessica is more interesting because well first of all we just get more time with them. more time to explore that tension speaking strictly from a movie pov here (because in the books jessica giving leto a son is framed more as a decision made out of love that echos down the millennia even 5k years later and less stemming from her desire to bring forth the kwisatz haderach even tho it certainly is also an element at play) that mary/jesus imagery is just so potent! bearing a son u will lose to the world to his destiny but on purpose!! u did this to him! u made that choice! u wanted to bear the saviour and u did! but he's ur child and u love him u love him more than anything but his path is set and u did this and now what. u prepare him u train him u make him so he'll survive because he is urs and if the world burns? so what? as long as he is alive to rule over it does it matter? the way he was so tender and loving and protective of her pre water of life. that's his mother (and sister)!!!!! the only thing he has left of who he was!!!! his maker (in more sense than one)!! and having jessica emerge as this almost empty vessel for the other memory to flow through. to inhabit with only glimpses of what used to be his mother.......... delicious. he loves her he hates her she is his enemy his only respite his maker and his undoing. I love drama

[sexynetra]

uhhhh ✅ 💥🎯✍💲👀 idek man whatever you want

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Oh god theres so many things. I think I tend to phrase things a certain way and then before I know it that exact phrase with the exact same wording is in like 5 different fics and 8 chapters and 3 times in one paragraph its a problem lmaooo. Also pushing hair out of faces. I need more things people can do with their hands

💥 How do you feel about criticism

It is soooo important to take criticism to grow as a writer!! That being said I will throw myself off the empire state building if I receive it so

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Probably!! I think there was something earlier on with rawnsyf but I don't remember anymore oops

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

Yeah shes amazing!! You can really tell how important she is if you read one of my unbeta'd works and then read one she worked on lmfao

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

I actually did take one commission (but then fell wildly depressed and it got pushed back lmao) but I have considered opening it up! Maybe once I try and get back on adhd meds I'll come up with a comm sheet :)

👀 Tell me about an up and coming WIP please!

Dame and Tia are going to Comic con together and Dame cannot believe nor condone how cheap Tia's cosplay is

and a bonus one for you :)

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fic?

There are so few things in the universe that I love more than reader interaction like PLEASE send me questions and comments and headcanons and everything else I love it so much it feeds me it heals me

[allofuswantgwinam]

i feel like the craziest part for me to try and understand is like… why tf was he threatening me about leaving him and then like there was multiple times before it got that deep where I said we should just end it or like take a break so he can figure his shit out and he’d be like “nooooo it’s not like that” IT WAS CLEARLY FUCKING LIKE THAT LIKE WTF FOREAL. HE IS 3 4 *maybe 35, idec. He fucking grown and don’t act like it* he has KIDS. he acted like he was all about his kids, bro he’s NOT. he is fucked up. I have never met more of a liar and a fake in my life and it’s so crazy that I was so in love with him. he put on such a mfing show for what? so there would be more drama and problems in his life? I genuinely don’t get it. that is sick. It is sick asf to completely manipulate and gas light and love bomb someone when she’s not even what you really want. he made me feel like the best thing to ever happen to him and none of it was true. I was 18 and idk man shit popped off at first and I dropped him and idrk what drew me to go back to him. I was so wrong. so so wrong… never been more wrong in my life

it’s crazy that this mfer really was such a liar and people keep telling me shit 🤩🤩🤩 and it makes me feel so stupid and sad

[hardtchill]

For me it’s very similar to the other anon. I’m turning 25 this year and I’ve still not got my bachelors degree because I had to quit my first go around at uni since i physically couldn’t learn for my exams. Granted it was compounded by other issues such as depression and anxiety but i genuinely believe that a not insignificant part of those issues come from the fact that adhd makes it near impossible to organise myself (unmedicated btw).

Seeing this on my feed rn is kind of ironic since even though im in my third year of a degree that I actually enjoy now, I literally dropped out of an exam that I was supposed to write today cuz I couldn’t revise. It’s not like I didn’t have the time and I’ve known for weeks about the deadline, but with every assignment or exam I push my own boundaries further and further back until I can’t do it anymore. Last semester I crammed 84 pages worth of notes in under 48h, an exam mind you that I’d pushed back over a year and was literally my last shot or I’d not be allowed to continue with my studies. I barely slept, I was throwing up, but I somehow passed, and with a good grade at that. Since then my brain is like, well you managed to do that that one time so you can totally afford to wait until the DAY before an exam to finish it. Or write a 15 page paper in a day.

And you know what, maybe I can. But the problem is the cost. It’s killing me. I find that it’s also very isolating cuz generally people don’t have a lot of empathy for this? So I end up pulling back from everyone including my best friends until I’m at a point again where I can be around people without letting on how incredibly bad I’m doing. Or I just straight up lie so they don’t know that I’ve not done the things i said I would do.

And all this is not just within the framework of academia. It’s also impacted my wellbeing in a more general sense - cooking for myself is hard because I tend to not listen to my body’s cues until I’m on the verge of passing out cuz i forgot to eat or drink, or by the time I’m hungry I still have to make a meal so I end up ordering something cuz it’s faster. Same with showering daily or brushing your teeth. Getting any routine started in general and sticking with it. I’ve been meaning to start exercising again but I keep delaying it for no reason. I’ve worked out regularly in the past so I know it’s something that I enjoy and that makes me feel good but despite that I’m still stuck in this place of inertia? It’s awful.

I’ve talked to some friends who also have adhd about it and the inability to start something cuz it isn’t instantly gratifying or that doesn’t align with an interest but is an obligation is quite common. Can I binge 7 seasons of a reality show in a week if it really interests me? Hell yeah! (I do watch everything at 2x speed cuz everyone talks too slow lmao but still). Will i fly through a massive book and literally forego sleeping if it means getting through more of it if im really invested? Absolutely. 1500 puzzle? Massive Lego set? Yep! Taking notes from a textbook for an assignment? Literally kill me right now.

I’m sorry for this long ass message and idek if you’re gonna read all of this but yeah just wanted to share my experience. Adhd is absolutely not quirky or a superpower and I wish there was a better understanding of it out there because it makes me my own worst enemy every day.

Ugh anon i feel you so much. I have skipped on many an exam during my bachelors because i just couldn't concentrate, focus or start revision. It's completely miserable to literally see the time go by where you feel the stress but you just cannot get your brain to start on what you need to do.

Any time i told teachers and now colleagues that i work well with deadlines i get told i'm not motivated enough because if i was i wouldn't need deadlines. That's just so unfair! My brain is graving dopamine, it's not laziness that my brain does this, it's literally just ADHD.

This is the same reason why your brain (usually) jumps into action when that crippling anxiety hits, because you're so close to a deadline that your brain can smell the dopamine.

The only reason that i finished my 6 month thesis is because i had many mini deadlines during those 6 months. I felt the anxiety to finish a part of it every month and i had a teacher who was very nice and gave you compliments when you did (DOPAMINE). If i didn't have that i would still be writing my thesis now.

ADHD is so misunderstood by so many people. It affects every part of your life and the negative consequences are so much bigger and impactful than the potential positive outcomes. I mean yeah i'm creative and can think fast, awesome but that doesn't make up for the anxiety, stress and grief you go through anytime your brain just doesn't want to start something.

[gillianthecat]

hi gillian! you have so much to say about all the bls you watch (this is definitely not a bad thing, i enjoy reading what other people think about our shared interests) but i was just wondering how did you survive being a lurker? did you write your thoughts anywhere or did you just kept them to yourself? i struggle with this myself, i feel like i have so much to say about everything, but i don't really say it or share it, i happily read other people's opinions and silently agree or disagree idek where i'm going with this lmao i guess i'm just curious to know such a "talkative" and person as you was once a lurker

Hi Anon!

So interestingly, when I was a lurker I didn't watch BL at all, barely knew what it was. I joined Tumblr because of a hockey romance writer (Taylor Fitzpatrick, I'm still a big fan of her work) and then mostly started following fanfic writers. Because I mostly read fanfic for media I don't read/watch or for sports RPF in sports I don't follow (which I know makes me a bit of an outlier) I didn't have much to say about the source materials. And because my tendency when writing about stuff is to be pretty analytical and to pick works apart even when I love them, that wasn't something I was going to do in public on tumblr where any of the authors (many of whom I followed) could see it. That just felt invasive. All of which is to say, being a lurker came very naturally to me at the time; it honestly didn't really occur to me to do anything else. And I didn't write my thoughts down or share them with anyone else, my fanfic reading (indeed most of my reading) had always felt like a private part of myself. I had plenty of thoughts and comparative analyses, etc, but it just kind of bubbled up in my brain and then disappeared.

My transition into posting on here about BL happened fairly spontaneously, pretty much immediately after I started watching BL; I don't really remember consciously deciding to make that change. Perhaps I did, and it's fallen out of my mind, I do remember being a little anxious the first time I reblogged something with comments of my own, feeling worried that I would bother people or people would think I was weird or something. On the other hand, my reblog was about Pete and Vegas' kink-filled explicit sex scene, so I must not have been that nervous 😂 I do remember tagging a lot of my posts "#my ramblings" early on; that self depreciation helped me mitigate my self-consciousness about whether my words were "worthwhile." Which I've come to the surety (at least on most days) is a meaningless concept here on tumblr, people can follow you or block you, you're not forcing your words in anyone's face. Seeing all the silly stuff that does get posted has helped me get over the feeling that I'm supposed to be making "worthwhile" content.

It's very freeing (especially as a former perfectionist who once felt she had to read and analyze every single one of an author's dozen or so novels* in order to write a term paper on him) to realize that I don't have to be an expert on anything to write about it on here. I can write in the voice that I want to, and use too many adjectives and adverbs and run-on sentences, and not feel like I have to write concisely or "properly" or even "understandably" if I don't feel like it. I can just share my thoughts and reactions and even be wrong (gasp!) or ignorant (the horrors!) and nothing bad will happen. I've been fortunate in that no one has been hateful or even slightly rude to me yet (the QL community seems particularly kind, even for tumblr), but if it ever does happen, that block button is a powerful tool.

One interesting side effect (or perhaps cause, who knows how these chains of causality are linked) is that I almost never watch episodes of shows straight through anymore. I used to be a binge watcher, a whole season (or more!) in one go with barely a break. Now I almost always pause many many times an episode. Sometimes just to take a break, sometimes to write down my thoughts in the notes app or something (i'll often have two devices in front of me at once, or switch back and forth between apps/tabs/programs) or to liveblog here on tumblr. I'm now pretty much incapable of watching a show without feeling the urge to write about it. Which is both good and bad 🤷🏻‍♀️

In terms of what actually happened to get me posting: I think sometimes (like today) my brain just overflows and then I start writing and the self-consciousness mostly falls to the wayside. Which isn't a helpful suggestion if that's not what your brain does, but it is what happened.

The Advice Part:

I have a couple of ideas for you, based on possible things that could be holding you back from participating. If it's that you feel self-conscious, you can keep doing what you're doing now and sending anonymous thoughts to other bloggers. Not everyone accepts anon asks, but most people who do are happy to publish them and have a conversation with people on anon. Or you could create a sideblog, or even an entire separate blog that you use to post your thoughts about BL, in a way that might feel even more safely anonymous than your regular tumblr. You don't even have to tag anything or follow anyone if you want the cocoon of being relatively invisible while expressing your thoughts. Then, if that starts to feel more comfortable you could start tagging, or reblogging other people's stuff, and start sharing your ideas more publicly. Or stay in that cocoon forever; there is no reason to leave if that's what feels comfortable!

Or you could start (assuming you don't already) by reblogging stuff and adding comments in the tags. And if that starts to feel less scary, or like not enough room for what you want to say, you could shift to reblogging with comments in the... whatever its called, the not tags. And replying rather than reblogging might feel a little safer - it's not quite so public, only the original poster or those who intentionally look into the notes will see it.

If the issue is that you feel overwhelmed by all your ideas, or all the shows, you could pick one or two shows to talk about. Or one or two bloggers to reply to. Or set a goal for yourself of one post a week/a day/whatever works. Just something to create some structure for yourself to make it feel less overwhelming.

Looking back over your ask, I'm not even sure you were looking for advice, but... uh... here some is anyways? Feel free to write back! With questions about this, anything else, or just to chat some more. Or for an anonymous venue for your thoughts!

(One last piece of practical advice, inspired by my computer just dying on me as I was finishing this up. Save Your Drafts! Save early and often. Save whenever you have to navigate away from the editing page. Most of the time the post editor is pretty good. And it even has an autosave function now, at least sometimes, under certain conditions. Which has saved me before from losing stuff, but it's not a surefire thing. So, since it's a pain to try and recreate something painstakingly written, I do highly recommend saving early and often.)

*the novelist was Ayi Kwei Armah, for anyone curious. and it must have been less than a dozen books. but it felt like a lot. sadly I remember very little of either the books or the term paper now.

p.s. I am like so unbelievably flattered by you coming to me for advice and wanting to know my story. i'm flattered by any and all asks i've ever gotten, really. so thank you 😊

[ryuusjacket]

i'm Still experiencing a lot of difficulty conceptualizing this fic of mine i wanna write... like, for the moment at least, i've lost a lot of the inspiration i had to even Want to write a story. idek what i'm doing w it anymore agghh it sucks!!!!

however... i think i might have found a number one motivator out of all the reasons why i want to do this fic. and THAT is bc i keep getting bummed the FUCK out every night when i hop into the sskk tag on ao3 for a nice bedtime story bc ppl just. keep writing aku in ways that i really fucking hate!! lmao like PLEASE OMG... it's hard for me to look forward to my reading sessions bc it's just so goddamn easy to read a shitty fic where my faves are characterized in all the wrong ways!! even tho... ok i Am kind of. picky about how aku specifically is portrayed bc yeah i do like him on the softer side and i think that already puts me in a noticeable minority in the fandom... and then i only make matters worse bc i always only ever want aku to be autistic-coded and a huge dork and a kind sweetheart and sexually submissive and a turbo virgin and a crybaby and etc etc etc. so lmao okay i Am just making this hard on my own.

BUT!!!!!! THAT'S WHYYYY WRITING MY OWN FIC IS IMPORTANT!!! i can write aku just the right way and hhh... already just the Thought of being able to create more stories w this kind of aku is like... it's like looking at a beautiful sunrise... just over the horizon... is everything i've ever loved and wanted... i just have to reach out...!!!! AND FUCKING WRITE SOME FIC!!!!!!! 😤😤😤💓💓💓

[withleeknow]

BWHAHAH have I seen that video- [ofc i have. multiple times. it's saved somewhere. the way he waited for her to hold his hand.] a really (un)important update: the peach-strawberry sorbet hair? it's grown on me sm it's acc on par w/ his hot-girl-redhair e.g. tinyurl.com/ycxezc6r the caption is so real (like I read it and thought, ah yes, this was written by/for jen/🍙) + his pseudo-aussie accent- good lord

lmao what sort of r:u album update was that- this was you are stupidly endearing, you noob 🥺😭 onigiri to the rescue: the ebay listing's here and the jay option is still in stock! ❤️‍🔥🐈‍⬛ tinyurl.com/mr3jmud8 [side note: shipping was free + to the UK, took <2 weeks w/ full door-to-door tracking - not sponsored, just a very happy onigiri + yo we'll have matching albums 🥺🧸]

oooh my friend recently bought the same chloe + it smells ✨️ divine ✨️ lmao the fainting's relatable bc i'm in my penhaligon's/aesop phase rn and I need an intervention bc I recently sampled armani's thé yulong + I can't stop thinking abt her 🫡

i haven't caught up with skz's jjam promos but what the hell is this gif-worthy clip: tinyurl.com/yc77n2ps the wavy hair? the accessories? the smirk? f-me he's insane. speaking of- the snippet. is that supposed to tide me over? on a flipping cliffhanger? he stays. tell me he stays over. istg jen you've created a monster out of me.

in honour of your discovery of blonde 🐈‍⬛, my fyp also gave me this masterpiece vm.tiktok.com/ZGecE7sDR/

made the mistake of opening that video on my big monitor at work and almost had a heart attack. the red hair will always be supreme to me but this peach era is a close second methinks... i fear i might be falling down another heeseung rabbit hole aksdksjfhds

i swear the employees there must've thought i was a weirdo bc i was holding the album and squinting to spy the non-existent dashes and then going to stand in front of the fan by the door to crosscheck with the instruction video on my phone (it was hot as balls and the store has awful ventilation) lmao. i ended up just getting the inceptio ver !! pulls under the cut !! i think i’ll def get a jay ver as well when i go to asia in 3 months just bc it’d be cheaper there 🤣

ohhh penhaligon’s packaging 😭 if you’re looking for an intervention you’ve come to the wrong place bc i am an enabler you should get one, no time like the present 💕 thé yulong !! i’m excited to try her heheheh guess we know what i’ll be on the hunt for on my lunch break tomorrow lol

i am personally victimized by this. i think this is the one of the worst things he’s ever done to me. the pretty curls with the smirk !!! i’m going to yeet myself out the window bye. honestly everything that has to do with ate era!mimo is giving this vibe lmao i can’t explain it 🤣

speaking of wt, does he stay? what’s the occasion? would she let himssst? 🤭

did i know that i probably shouldn’t open this video at werk either after the first one? yes. did i open it anyway? also yes. i’ve got one foot in each rabbit hole and idek which one to fall into anymore. this is looking like another love triangle

anywhomst, ze pulls !! i did not know what i’d be getting with this album at all and ngl right after i left the store i said out loud to myself “what am i doing with an enhypen album” but when i got home and opened her up, this woman was left speechless !! SHE’S BEAUTIFUL 😭 it’s so cute i LOVE this concept 😭 the photobook is one of the prettiest ones i’ve ever seen 😭 the stickers are so adorable i had to put them on my new tissue box !!! the pc’s and the postcard 😭 ADORABLE i love her sm

[m-questionnaire]

NaFM: Ch 9 (10?) and misc. thoughts

I don't count the prologue as the first chapter, so I guess it's chapter 9?

(This is a test post similar to those blogs. Simply curious to how it would work when I type my thoughts. Not bad so far lol)

Honestly, the chapter is going to be super long (40k+ words), and with that in mind, I'm sorta dreading how long the chapter covering the 5th yr will be. I feel sorta bad for the readers (srry, if u do read this lol), but I also don't care much cuz I'm sticking to the format of 1 chapter per school yr.

I've been fluctuating between working on Not a Future Missus and continuing planning this x-over fic I have posted (also on my AO3) for two diff. fandoms. Gosh, I also have so many other ideas for HP fics, including a Tom Riddle Sr-centric fic (one of those what-ifs in which Sr. raises pre-Voldy Tom) and a Drarry fic with the Veela!Draco trope (or a Veela!Draco fic with Drarry?), both of which I'm likely to type out; there's also a possible "spin-off" w/ NaFM, but employing time travel??? Idek anymore lol! But goodness the HP world has so much potential despite its numerous controversies (which I won't bring up cuz I'm not looking to start a war).

And sadly (maybe not for some ppl), no Dramione plans as of yet. Yes, I ship it as much as Drarry (don't hate on me now, or at least do it without a word cuz I'm a multi-shipper who refuses to fight over ships), though I haven't been reading much Dramione fics nowadays... or Drarry, since I fandom jump quite a bit.

Anyway, maybe I'll get rid of some scenes, or I'll keep it as it is (my fic, my management muhaha), but I maybe possibly probably perhaps should just make Harry and Ella/fem!Draco kiss each other and type the "23 yrs later" epilogue and be done with the fic LMAO! (April 1, 2024 plans???? If it's still incomplete by then???)

What hobbies do I even have at this point, besides reading/writing fanfics? The occasional doodle/drawing, certainly. And maintaining my Duolingo streak????

To whoever reads this honest-to-goodness sorta-long post, srry for the chaotic writing/typing! Just blurting this out before sleepy time LOL! (Sleep deprivation sure is making me taaalk and I'm probably gonna cringe the next time I see this if ever lmaoo)

Well, if anyone reading this post (and my fic) has proceeded this far, have a preview I may/may not include/edit for the next chapter!

     “What’s the point of this task if we can’t even watch?” Ella grumbled as she glared at the lake. The waters were still as the second task progressed, with only an occasional ripple on the surface. The crowd chattered as they awaited the champions, but Ella was growing impatient.      It had been months since the Yule Ball, and the Scottish Highlands were slowly readying for the coming spring. There was still a noticeable chill in the air, but that didn’t stop the continuation of the Triwizard Tournament. The second task had begun half an hour ago, and to say the least, the surface-dwelling spectators were growing bored.      “If only they used Muggle filming methods,” Tracey said disappointedly from Ella’s right side. “They have these cameras, and you can connect them to these screens that project what’s happening through the lenses. It’s like our moving pictures, but everything happens in real time. I’ve been told about them sometimes.”      “Somebody needs to invent a spell like that if they haven’t already,” Ella said.       Casual conversations continued as time passed. At this point, everyone was preoccupied with each other, with only a few occasional glances towards the water. During the wait, Pansy ended up braiding Ella’s hair, before tying it and switching to Daphne. Why everyone had to get up at nine o’clock in the morning to stand in the cold and watch a lake was Ella’s main concern, but this was one of the more boring days compared to the last few years.

[lino-know]

heyyy seong

idek if you use tumblr anymore. personally i only used it in like 2020-2021 during my early kpop phases but maybe people still do

anyways i’ll start off by saying that i hope you’re doing good! (can’t believe it’s already 2023) i also hope you’re feeling better mentally, physically, spiritually, and in any other way possible. these past few years have really been tough. idk what it is but after covid everything’s just sped up. life is just going by so fast and let’s be honest, it’s incredibly overwhelming. that’s why i think it’s so important to take time for ourselves and really understand what’s going on in our minds.

i have no idea why i wrote this as if you know who i am and as if we’ve been friends for years. i just happen to come back onto tumblr today and remembered about your story misfits (which i absolutely adore btw it’s the literal embodiment of gold) and wanted to vomit my thoughts out to a stranger

in any case maybe you’ll see this maybe you won’t but thanks for having this page as an outlet for strangers to vent <3

— a random person who had a lot of her mind (and is also kinda wondering about an update regarding misfits now that she thinks about it)

heyyy!! I'm really sorry I haven't replied to this - I feel like I should've earlier lmao but I've been kind of gatekeeping this ask in my inbox because it made me feel warm and fuzzy all over :)

I hope you're doing well in all the ways possible too - covid really has turned the world upside down twice over and it hasn't been easy for any of us, I'm sure. a lot has happened in the time that passed and honestly I don't think I would've turned out the way that I am if it hasn't happened - but I don't regret it, tbh.

don't stress about suddenly popping into my inbox without warning - I've said multiple times that it's open for anything you want to send in and honestly your ask has made my day multiple times over when I log back onto tumblr to read it, whenever my mental health is hitting rock bottom again :)) I'm glad you decided to take time out of your day to send it in hehe. feel free to chat me up over dms, honestly, because I feel like having an extra friend makes our lives better - but I do want to say I'm using tumblr less and less nowadays

an update about my life? maybe? idk if anyone's interested but essentially I started this blog when I was 18 and now I'm nearly done with university. it's kind of insane thinking about how fast the years have gone by - it almost feels like yesterday when I started this blog in quarantine out of boredom, and now it's two years down the line haha

as for misfits, first of all, thank you for thinking about it and I'm really happy that you still remember the story :) I wrote it when I was chilling around and posted it after a tumblr mutual I made after I created this blog told me to - she's no longer on tumblr or skzblr(?) for personal reasons but I look back on that fondly

about updates, I do intend to continue the story just because so many people enjoyed it, even though I'd admit I don't think it's my best work. I still have my old notebook full of notes and ideas for future skz-centric works, but I guess the reason why I stopped was because I don't really pay attention to skz that much anymore. I admire them as a fledgling artist myself, but I haven't been keeping tabs on them now that I'm starting to explore my own artistic ventures (!!). that said, I still have the plot of misfits in my head, but I guess that having started and continued the story with numerous historical footnotes, I feel like I have to continue doing that and keeping everything as historically accurate as possible haha

but yeah, that's pretty much about it, if I'm posting works here, consider it as writing practice rather than excited squeals about skz. again, I really admire them as people, but it's also because of that that I feel kind of weird writing fanfiction about them. I'm not opposed to the idea of it or other people doing it, I personally just feel more comfortable writing filth about 2D characters (and I do have a sideblog for anime-centric works if you're interested!) I don't think I'll shut this blog down ever because I am proud of what I've created here - and I'm really happy that you view it safe enough to send in a ramble. my inbox is always open if you want to talk more :)) hope you're doing well!

[hannobehrens]

You favorite ship?!

my all time favourite would have to be Hömmels (i think)...

anonymously message me 1 thing you want to know about me!

[jenoismydad]

NCT Dream reaction when they accidentally grab your boobs.

lmao okay this was not serious at all. this is all just crack. I included jisung, no sexual themes for him of course. I'm so sorry if you wanted this to lead to sex or something but I just couldn’t imagine it going anywhere else. anyways, I hope this makes you laugh.

NCT Dream’s Reaction To Accidentally Grabbing your Boob

Pairing: NCT Dream x Reader

Genre: Reaction, Crack

Words: 680

Warnings: The boys are much more respectful than I’ve depicted them to be in this reaction. Please keep that in mind as you read these head canons.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Mark

You were tickling him and he was just trying to make you stop

He was basically trying to grab your hands

But he grabbed one of your boobs instead

And it wasn’t like a soft grab

So it kinda hurt

Boy was so flustered and embarrassed

He immediately apologised

His palm was like tingling though

Lmao idek anymore

He kept squeezing and grabbing at the air later for some reason

Can’t stop thinking about it

Though he doesn’t know what to think about it

So yeah, it breaks him, renders him dysfunctional from there on out

Renjun

You guys are cuddling or whatever 

And you’re like rolling around on the bed

He’s chasing after you

So he kinda reaches for your body in order to pull you closer

He can’t exactly see where his hands are going

That’s why, while doing so he accidentally grabs your tit

You shriek and scramble out of his grasp

You then begin scolding him while dramatically holding your boobs

He just giggles nervously and apologises

Tells you that your boobs were very soft and squishy afterwards

It just leads to you judging him for ten minutes straight

Why would you say that Renjun? 

Jeno

He’s annoying you

By poking your body

And obviously he accidentally pokes your tit

After which he just snickers

He thinks your flabbergasted reaction is very funny

So he keeps poking your boobs on purpose throughout the day

He doesn’t really get why you’re acting so offended

Because he knows that if you were naked and underneath him, you’d let him do it without a complaint ;)

Someone please tell him that’s not how it works

You probably didn't expect this type of behaviour from him, did you?

Yeah me neither

Thanks for planting this idea in my head Maddie :)

Haechan

Your like laying on top of him for some reason

Idk why, you just are

And like, you prop yourself up

And this bitch just goes for it

Grabs your boobs without a second thought

He just couldn’t resist

Not when they looked so inviting

Please he’s so shameless

Claims that he’s just appreciating your assets

By groping you nonetheless

A little respect would be nice on his part

Tells you to grab his tits to that you’ll be even

It just leads to a very awkward but intimate moment

Idk what’s happening either

Jaemin

He was tryna be all cute and shit

Thought he’d surprise you by covering your eyes

But he misjudged the positions

And ended up grabbing your boobs

Everything’s super awkward for a second there

And after he assures you that its just him

You’d expect him to take his hands off

But he keeps them frozen in place

He thinks it feels nice, says its therapeutic

He’s probably high on americanos

He’s most definitely not in his right mind

Occasionally gives your boobs a few gentle squeezes 

Yeah idk what’s wrong with him either

Chenle

He wasn’t trying to touch your boobs okay

They just got in the way

So that’s actually entirely your fault

Not his

He doesn’t even get why you’re overreacting so much

Its not like he did it on purpose

So calm down y/n

Probably says some shit like “You should be thankful that I was the one who touched your boobs.”

Your boobs have now been enlightened by the touch of president chenle

They are priceless

Why is he being so full of himself?

Maybe its just his coping mechanism

Jisung

He didn’t even grab your boob okay

His arms just brushed over it 

He immediately apologised

And you forgave him while laughing it off

You didn’t think too much about it 

But Jisung was scarred by it

Someone help this child

The second hand embarrassment it gave him was immeasurable

It just makes him so awkward around you

Cause like its the first thing he thinks when he sees you

And he knows he didn’t do it on purpose

But it still makes him feel weird

Despite your constant assurance that its all okay

He’s gonna have a very hard time getting over it

[cheegu3]

~ Yandere Hyunjin - X31 [CULT SPECIAL 2/2 PTS]

tw / trigger warning: yandere themes, cult themes (brainwashing etc), violence, blood/gore, murder, disturbing themes, swearing

wc: 3k

a/n: so I’m a bit tipsy and wrote this just like really quickly idek what’s going on or if this is shit lmao sorry, I will proofread this tomorrow mwah love u

summary: the gang from your hometown that you knew as criminals had now kidnapped you and as they take you to their destination you soon find out they’re actually a cult, will you be able to escape or will you become their pet forever?

‘‘ You’re..them ‘‘ you muttered at last somehow sounding disbelieved.

‘‘ You must’ve known right? At least a part of you knew all along ‘‘ he answered with a smirk.

‘‘ You must’ve known right? At least a part of you knew all along ‘‘ he answered with a smirk.

You huffed.

‘‘ If I knew, don’t you think I would’ve fought back harder than I did? ‘‘ you looked at him coldly.

‘‘ Well actually- ‘‘ he leaned in closer to you, so close that you could see your own reflection in his crazy, empty brown eyes.

‘‘ I think you wanted this ‘‘ he adds.

‘‘ W-what are you fucking crazy? ‘‘ you exclaimed hysterically, the panic was overtaking your body every second that passed.

He nodded and the smirk was back again as if he enjoyed seeing you like this. You bet he had seen way worse captures of his, who suffered a lot more.

‘‘ You want to know why? ‘‘ he asked tauntingly.

He didn’t even give you a chance to answer before he went on.

‘‘ You’re a lonely pathetic woman in her 20s. You have no job, no money, no boyfriend or husband and no family ‘‘ he said this in such a mocking manner that it took you aback. You felt like your whole body went cold, like you were an insect under his magnifying glass and after he had inspected you he crushed you.

This was all too much for you. You tried the best that you could to turn away from him, sort of looking out the window - only, all the windows were covered up and you assumed it was to make you feel disoriented and not see where you were. It was smart, you’d admit that. On top of that the leader had kept you occupied so you didn’t even get the chance to feel what ways the car was turning to somehow name your location.

He didn’t say anything more for the rest of the ride except for a low,

‘‘ I’m Hyunjin. The leader ‘‘

Then he left you alone, you weren’t sure if he was watching you but it sure felt like his eyes never left you, even when you were turned so that you couldn’t see him in the corner of your eye, the feeling of his gaze lingered.

Not long after, the van came to an abrupt stop throwing you forwards slightly. The doors were slid open revealing the familiar guys from before. Only three of them were in the doorway now though, one shorter one with freckles, the other shorter one with a mean and stern looking face and one that looked like a golden retriever. As you looked at them you wondered how they had ended up here in this gang. They were once normal people just like yourself, what happened to them? Perhaps...they were kidnapped like yourself and they would try to make you one of them?

‘‘ Get out ‘‘ the mean looking one barked at you and then said to Hyunjin ‘‘ We’re here master. Everything is ready ‘‘

The leader reached over again to unbuckle your seatbelt but he wasn’t really looking at you this time, he seemed to be in a hurry. In fact he seemed to be so stressed when you had stepped out that he swept you off your feet. You yelped in surprise but he wasted no time, walking straight away towards the buildings doors. 

It looked like it was some kind of abandoned church. It was worn down and dark, covered in graffiti and had several white sheets covering up the window. You shivered at the creepy vibe it gave off, it looked like the perfect place for a gang.

As your group approached the entry doors, two of the guys from before hurried up in front to hold the doors open for Hyunjin and you. You felt him walk again and you tried to turn from your place in his arms to look around. You gasped.

People in masks and dark cloaks stood in a circle around some kind of table. The walls were dirty and worn out just like the outside and the familiar church seats didn’t look very familiar anymore, they were filled with clutter like books and candles. More candles decorated the walls and it had weird drawn symbols in white and red, which looked too much like blood.

You desperately tried to crawl out but his arms clinging onto you only got harder, tightening the grip. You were coming closer and closer to the group who had now turned when they noticed your presence. The group split in the middle, making way for you to pass through. You heart dropped when you had passed by the people.

Right there was an altar. It had old dry blood ingrained in it all over. By how the dried blood looked like it had run down the sides, you thought about how much blood there had to have been there, they probably killed someone and the thought of it makes you sick.

He sat you down unexpectedly gentle and stepped back slightly while looking at you. You felt like there wasn’t a chance in hell to escape with the mob getting ever so closer as the seconds passed, soon they’d be suffocating you although it felt like their mere presence was already doing that.

‘‘ W-what, where am I...Hyunjin ‘‘ you said his name slowly as if trying it out.

His expressions didn’t change, he looked cold like he had done that same night you met him.

‘‘ Y/n, I’ve had my eyes on you for a long time. Planning, waiting for the perfect moment to take you away ‘‘ he explained calmly. 

You didn’t say anything but when he said he’d been watching you for a long time you felt chills down your spine again. You didn’t feel safe here and you didn’t know what they wanted.

‘‘ Master decided to save you ‘‘ one of the mob whispered in an almost hysteric voice. 

They looked really riled up or quite frankly, crazy - from the way they got closer and closer and how they looked at their leader with so much admiration, like he was some sort of God.

‘‘ Save me? ‘‘ you asked looking straight at Hyunjin to try to read his face.

You thought that maybe they were just joking but he still didn’t move a muscle. He took a deep breath before speaking again.

‘‘ You see, all the people out there they’re really bad people. They have turned to the false God and I’m the only one who can save you ‘‘ he answered fairly casually studying your face and reaction to what he had said.

‘‘ Uh, false God? ‘‘

‘‘ Jesus and his father ‘‘

You huffed. It still felt like a joke but the people surrounding you made you doubt it. Either they were really good actors or this crazy man had taken advantage of vulnerable people and brainwashed them into worshipping him.

‘‘ He’s evil and tries to mask his evil words with acts of ‘‘ kindness ‘‘ ‘’ he air-quoted the word kindness and looked truly annoyed as he explained this to you.

You weren’t really sure how to respond.

‘‘ I...Appreciate that and what you do but I would like to go home now, is that okay? ‘‘ you tried.

‘‘ No ‘‘

Silence followed. You felt like the mob were silently judging you and maybe even hated you because you got all this attention from their precious leader.

‘‘ U-um well I do have to go, I’m not interested sorry ‘‘ you swung your legs over the stone seat and put your feet on the ground below.

He didn’t move from his spot which made you hopeful, but then when you approached the mob expecting them to step aside for you to pass - they didn’t. They stood just as still, just like him. You saw him turn to you and then felt a hard grip around your forearm.

He was angry but you also saw some hint of disgust in his eyes.

‘‘ See everyone how grateful you are that I saved you, see what could’ve become of you. We’ve got a lot of work to do with this one ‘‘ he said to the mob while staring into your eyes. He smirked for a moment and that’s when you realised, this was a cult.

He was fully aware of the truth vs made up things and how he affected all these people but you supposed he liked the power. It made you sick yet again to think about how many lives he had ruined by spewing such nonsense.

His loyal followers all shouted in union,

‘‘ Yes master! ‘‘ 

Before Hyunjin started to drag you to a doorway at the opposite side of the room. It felt like his grip was getting tighter and tighter and you groaned quietly at the pain, it was sure to leave bruises but you knew he didn’t care - he had probably left a fair amount of bruises on his followers before. 

He took you through the doorway and turned to the right. You reached a long stone corridor that felt very creepy. He kept dragging you until he had gotten to the room at the end of the corridor. There, he still kept his iron grip on you while fumbling in his pockets to take out a silver key.

‘‘ This is where you will be staying ‘‘

Anger bubbled up inside you. Who is he to decide that he was gonna ‘’ save you ‘’ to kidnap you and to order you around without you having a choice? It made you feel so belittled, and because of it you hated him already and what made it worse is the fact that you were pretty sure he enjoyed it.

He shoved you in and closed the door behind him swiftly without turning his back to you, smart, he didn’t even give you one opportunity to escape him.

‘‘ Tomorrow will be your first ritual, you should be excited ‘‘ he gave you a small smile. 

You wanted to punch him so bad, to kick and scream and to run for your life. The room he had pushed you into was as cold-stoned as the corridor had been, literally. It looked like an old-school prison cell in those castles with stone floor, walls and ceiling. The windows were barred shut and was way too high up for you to reach anyway. 

The only thing that made it look anything other than a prison cell was the double bed in the middle of the furthest wall. It had scarlet velvet looking covers and looked quite comfortable. In that moment you wanted nothing more than for him to leave so you could let your growing exhaustion take over you and figure out a plan to escape later after resting.

And so he actually did - to your surprise. You suppose it was because of the look of burning hate you had given him this whole time or that you had refused to answer him but whatever the reason, you felt relieved.

He sighed and left, closing the door rather harshly after him but you didn’t even look at him, he didn’t deserve that.

Your head found the pillow automatically and you let your body relax, falling asleep not that long after.

-

‘‘ Hello? Y/n get the fuck up ‘‘ the distant voice who had been mumbling, or least that’s what it sounded like to you - suddenly started to get louder and clearer.

You body jerked awake when you realised it wasn’t a dream and the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was those brown eyes of the leader himself. He looked annoyed, like you were just a burden to him and the fact that you’d woken up so late was just another inconvenience.

He rolled his eyes.

‘‘ Finally. We haven’t got all day Ms princess ‘‘ 

You yawned at looked at him still half-asleep. You got up without protesting though because you didn’t want to anger him any more. 

You wasted no time and even got dressed in front of him, ignoring his presence while continuing to be in a dazed and tired state. 

He seemed to wait as patiently as he could but that didn’t stop him from sending you glares every now and then. 

At last you were ready, dressed in a white plain summery dress that had been put out for you to wear. You noticed while walking up to him that he was now wearing very light coloured clothes as well - a strong contrast to the day before. He didn’t have his piercings on, his tattoos were covered and he wore long white linen clothes. You gagged at the thought of him picking out clothes just so you would match.

‘‘ Come on ‘‘ he mumbled. His patience seemed to be running out.

He opened the door and basically pushed you out in front of him, then he closed the door once again and followed quickly. It felt like he was breathing down your neck, not giving you any space to - you assumed - not make you get away. You ignored him being that close and focused on his directions instead. He told you to go back the same way you had come from and out of the church, into a garden where the ‘’ ceremony ‘’ as he called it would happen.

You stayed silent and walked to where he wanted you to. The church was empty, which was a bit odd but you kept going until you laid your hands on the  big doors again and pushed it open.

You recognised the place you had been at yesterday, even the car was still there. But you couldn’t do anything, not even get close to the car before Hyunjin barked his orders,

‘‘ Right. Then walk straight to the garden. No stopping ‘‘ and you reacted like a robot, casting one last sorrowful look at a possible escape route. 

You followed his directions and walked into a clearing in the forest the church had been hiding behind itself. The mob was there again.

Of course

You thought yourself and couldn’t stop your hand from forming a fist. More people, less chance of escaping. But where else would they be if not by the side of their precious leader?

They gave you very genuinely happy smiles which freaked you out and you smiled back awkwardly to not feel like you were being rude. As you approached the group Hyunjin put his fingertips to your upper back guiding you forwards, or rather to the middle of the circle again who parted once you got close, allowing you to pass through.

Then you spotted it, another altar. 

But this time you weren’t really scared, until Hyunjin told you lay down on it and his words from before rang in your head over and over again,

‘‘ Tomorrow will be your first ritual, you should be excited ‘‘

Fuck

What was going to happen to you now?

‘‘ Welcome everyone ‘’ he started off his speech, turning to the gathered crowd.

‘’ We’ve gathered here today to make a union, to forever bond the master, the greatest, to y/n, the princess ‘‘

Your head was spinning. It felt like the coldness of the stone you were laying on had transferred to your blood, making it ice cold. You weren’t even sure if you were alive anymore or if this was possibly just a dream.

‘‘ Y/n? ‘‘ he suddenly called out which caught your attention.

You turned your head to him, tears threatening to fall any second now.

‘‘ I have to do this, for us to be together forever ‘‘ he said this in an almost pitiful way and your gut knew what was coming but you didn’t want to believe it.

You were going to fight and be optimistic until the last second.

‘‘ You first, then me okay? If you keep still this will be quicker ‘‘ the fact that he looked truly sorry made you forget for a moment what kind of person he was.

He walked up to you and you got so enhanced in his eyes, it was easy to see how all the other people had believed his lies. You were even ready to accept your faith, and so you did the only thing you could - you closed your eyes and waited.

You weren’t sure but you think you heard him say ‘’ good girl ‘’ under his breath. You also heard some distant hushed talking and some items being scraped together but you held you breath and kept your eyes closed, it was for the best.

No closed eyes or deep breaths could’ve prepared you for what came next though,

the pain was unbearable. A cold metal that was sharp penetrated your chest causing you to scream out.

‘‘ Stop! Stop! Stop! ‘‘

Hyunjin hushed you comfortingly and stroke your hair slowly, placing small kisses to your forehead but you barely felt them - the pain was so overpowering it felt like it was the only thing you felt.

Eventually when your breaths started becoming more heavy and your vision started to get blurrier, you opened your eyes one last time. You saw the man you had started to hate in such a short time, now...he was your killer. 

Then you closed your eyes again and waited and waited while it felt like the liquid had decorated your entire body, hell maybe even the whole forest. 

At last, after much suffering

the world did become black and you were finally at peace.

[heyitsyn]

Prince Iwa-Chan

Oikawa!Sister x Iwaizumi Hajime

a/n: it aggravates me that my mans bara-arms-iwa-chan is so UNDERRATED!!!!

requests open!!

like look mom, im in love

ofc youre an oikawa

tbh, i dont think iwa wouldve been comfortable w you when yall first met

lets say youre a year younger than tooru

its a well-known fact that theyve been friends since they were really young so you, being oiks’ baby sister, was also part of your little trio

like lets say they met when they were 6

that would make you about 5

since yall have an older sister, you were exposed to the girly girl stuff like dolls and princesses

ngl, tooru was too thats why hes so flamboyant

but seems his fashion style refutes that

ya didnt hear that from me

anyways

tooru had already developed a deep fascination w volleyball bc he saw it being played during the 2000 summer olympics

but you remained w your sister and continued letting her treat you like a princess

im not really sure how old his sister is but lets say she was about around middle school when you were 5-6

however, tooru still made you play w him even though you didnt know how but you didnt care bc you were close w your brother so you would play ball w him

then came along iwaizumi hajime that tooru met from school

he found out that this boy also liked volleyball and tooru yeeted them both home so they could go and play at the back yard

you peeked from your window and you just thought iwa was the most handsome boy youve ever met

ofc, you just bolted down the stairs to where your brother and his friend was

oiks saw you standing by the door w a red face and him, being still a child and not understanding crushes, thought you were sick

he went to you and beckoned hajime to follow him inside

tooru sat you down and asked if you were okay but you just kept staring at hajime

he figured that you were just confused as to who this person was

‘oh! iwa-chan! this is my little sister, y/n! y/n, this is my classmate, iwaizumi hajime!’

cue iwa hitting him at the head

‘i can introduce myself perfectly fine, bakakawa!’

iwaizumi hajime,,,

iwaizumi hajimeee,

iwaizumi y/n

that thought made you turn even redder and you squealed in embarrassment before running back to your room

lmao what

if your personality doesnt align w this, i deeply apologize

i just think if you were an oikawa, you would bound to immediately also be drawn to this handsome specimen named iwaizumi hajime

he be getting the oikawas though

iwa was actually concerned but oiks waved it off

‘don’t worry, iwa-chan. shes weird like that. lets go toss the ball!’

so that was kinda how he met you

now, since hajime basically lived in your house by how much him and your brother hung out, youve slowly mellowed out and gotten to be friends w him

despite your hatred w bugs, you still went w them to explore just bc you wanted to be around hajime

lmao tooru youre now irrelevant

hajime didnt mind and he always made sure you were okay with the adventures of the day

even though you were only like a year younger, he cant help but baby you bc of your much smaller height than him and overall cute baby face

one day, they both came home from school all sweaty bc they raced home

‘iwa-chan! you can settle in the living room while i go shower!’

‘don’t call me iwa-chan, bakakawa!’

‘then stop calling me that!’

he sat down on the couch and started doing his homework when he heard you come home from school

lmao how do little japanese kids go back and forth from school to home at the age of 6

idek how to cross the street

‘tadaima’

‘oh, okaeri, y/n’

you perked up at his voice and you ran to the living room, seeing him

‘iwa-chan!’

he grunted and you threw yourself to him in a hug

if your personality doesnt align w this, i deeply apologize

i just think if you were an oikawa, you would bound to immediately also be drawn to this handsome specimen named iwaizumi hajime

part 2

tbh it doesnt even faze him anymore since you do this to him every time

he continues doing homework and just wraps one arm around you and starts patting your head

‘tooru-nii?’

‘shower’

‘okay’

then silence

but its the good kind of silence

you and iwa just sit there with you snuggled up on him while he continues to add numbers

then it was ruined

by the pterodactyl oikawa tooru who comes flying down the stairs and glomps on to iwa’s other side

‘y/n-chan! stop hogging iwa-chan!’

‘he’s mine, tooru-nii!!’

you pout while iwa turns and gives him a glare

‘shut up, bakakawa! and stop calling me that!’

‘aahh!! you were mine first, iwa-chan!’

‘i was never yours! be quiet!’

‘itai, iwa-chan!’

‘he’s mine forever! we’re going to get married so butt out, nii-chan!’

‘HAH?!’

once everything calms down, yall actually start your homework and work

‘anything happen today, y/n-chan?’

oikawa always asked that question bc he believes its his duty as older brother to be caught up in your life

thats actually annoying bruv

‘hmm, me and the girls in my class were playing princess tea party today and a boy asked to be my prince.’

‘WHAT!’

oikawa is 7 now and he faintly has an idea about crushes and his father made him promise that he would protect you from nasty boys

‘calm down, bakakawa’

iwa mumbled, continuing his homework but also paying attention

‘WHAT!? NO! WHATD YOU SAY, Y/N-CHAN! YOUR BROTHER IS THE ONLY PRINCE YOU NEED!’

‘i told him i already have a prince’

oikawa was so smug and crossed his arms

‘hm, serves them right-’

‘prince iwa-chan and i are going to get married and live in a castle so there’s no room for anybody else’

iwa had to double check and turned red really fast

like who was this iwa-chan

wait, what his name?

his name has iwa in it

is he iwa-chan?

y/n’s prince iwa-chan?

was he really iwa-chan?

‘NO! YOUR NII-SAN IS YOUR PRINCE! IWA-CHAN CAN BE YOUR KNIGHT OR SOMETHING! BUT IM YOUR PRINCE!’

you glared at tooru and shook your head

‘no. iwa-chan is my prince’

you were so shamless about this fact

lmao i want your confidence

from then on, youve called iwa as your prince

like his name on your phone is literally prince iwa-chan

then when you were in middle school, you’ve started calling iwa as haji-senpai

there wasnt even a large event that spawned this

well,,, actually,,

youve noticed that iwa hated the nickname ‘iwa-chan’ a lot and he hit tooru many times bc of it so you stopped calling him that bc you didnt want him to be mad at you

so you started calling him senpai bc he was technically an upperclassman

when you first called him this, iwa was lowkey shook

‘haji,,,, senpai?’

you nodded from your spot on the couch, not looking up from your homework

‘see? i can only call iwa-chan, iwa-chan! OOF!’

that was iwa hitting tooru at the face with his pencil case

‘y/n, you dont have to call me that. we’ve known each other since we were little so you dont have to call me by an upperclassman term’

you shrugged

‘i know. but you dont like it when you’re called iwa-chan, do you?’

‘not if it’s by this trash’

he jutted a thumb to the fallen tooru

‘so,,,, iwa-chan is fine?’

your eyes sparkled at the permission of being able to freely call him that without worry

he gulps at your face and turns away to hide his red face before nodding

‘my prince iwa-chan!’

‘no! my iwa-chan!’

‘shut up shittykawa!’

‘itai, iwa-chan!’

keeping up with the oikawas

this nickname will forever be stuck

since you went to the same middle school, you were known to be around your brother and iwa and even staying behind for practice to walk home w them

it became a bit of a joke to the team of you picking up your prince

one day, a teammate called iwa, ‘prince iwa-chan’ and he almost busted a fuse

was ready to square up bc only his babie can call him that

but when you came through the door

‘prince iwa-chan! your princess is here!’

he turned all soft and squishy and pats your head so gently that they couldnt believe this is the same boy who is the ace

you were interested in volleyball so you were kinda friends w the team but you didnt really care for the sport, mainly focusing on your academics

thats how it really was for you three

they focused on sports while you studied

oh my here comes highschool

oikawa and iwa were already known throughout the FREAKING PREFECTURE bc of how TALENTED THEY ARE AT VOLLEYBALL

and you were already known by your pretty face and your cute personality

basically genderbent oikawa

and just wanted to stop you from reading by telling you that you are beautiful and you are a KWEEN and you are a GODDESS and confidence is the most beautiful thing to wear and best of all, it’s free!!

ofc, youd have to go to aoba johsai bc your brother was there

‘y/n-chan! you need to go where your brother is! you love him, don’t you?’

‘sure, tooru’

you actually went to seijoh bc you would see iwa 

you didnt hear that from me

your first day, boys (and gals) were already flocking towards you when they saw you walking with iwa and tooru

still being the overprotective brother since day1, oikawa was just snarling at anyone getting close to his baby sister

lmao what baby

hes only like a year older

but iwa was being terrirorial protective bc he finds it as an obligation as tooru’s best friend and your childhood friend

when oiks wasn’t paying attention and being drowned by his fangirls, iwa was your bodyguard

there was this one boy who started walking towards you as yall were going to your class but hajime placed an arm around your waist and pulled you closer

‘oh? i’m only at the first floor, iwa-chan. don’t get all clingy now’

lmao, girl hes trying to show that boy that hes your unofficial mans and will cut off his family jewels if he tries to even BREATHE in your direction

umm,,, iwa’s not yandere in this one yall

iwa just rolls his eyes and makes you walk forward until yall are at your door

‘i’ll see you later, iwa-chan!’

‘yea yea. i’ll pick you up’

he starts to walk down the hallway but you poke your head back out and shout

‘i miss you already, prince iwa-chan!’

he turns red all over and freezes for a 0.0002 seconds before raising a hand without turning around

now ladies and genitals

this is when iwa-chan starts to catch feelings like he catches them spikes

your cute smling face and saying his dumb nickname that he actually loves was like a recipe for a stroke for him

it has come to the point at the mere thought of you would make him all flustered and red

it tripled over when this happened:

puberty was kinda late for you and you actually just woke up looking like a goddess one day and you were like, lmao what

your chest just ballooned up and your height just skyrocketed that your skirt was now very short

ew i dont know what i would do in this situation

you were self-conscious about this and was kinda scared 

obvs, you would scream for your mother and she and your father and brother bolts up to your bedroom thinking there was a whole michael meyers in your room

but when you explained that your uniform doesnt fit anymore, she starts making appointments to get you fitted for another one

but you had to wait for a few days

so you went to school looking like a whole snacc

more of a snacc than you did before

when iwa saw you, he had a literal nosebleed in the middle of campus and runs to the bathroom to get all cleaned up

why in the name of asahi do you look like that?!

when you saw your prince look at you in horror and run away, you cried

you were already very self-conscious and him doing that just topped the cake

cake that tooru doesnt have

oop imsorry

tooru reassures you that he had a nosebleed and he was just sick and ran to not get any blood on his clothes

but you just walked away with your head down low

it didnt matter to you if this caught all the student body’s attention

that their precious oikawa y/n, little sister of the oikawa tooru, was a walking perfection goddess Venus

all that you cared about was iwa’s opinions bc he was your prince and your best friend

girl, accept that you actually like the mans

this was the worst day of your entire life and you went straight to your locker to get your gym clothes out and wear it for the day

it was tight but at least it covered skin

and it still attracted enough attention to be catcalled and whistled at

it felt violating

the entire morning, there was more attention and more people flocked over to you and guys were staring at you as if you were a piece of meat, not a girl

‘harry potter is a boy! not a piece of meat!’

sorry i cant help it

you were so uncomfortable that you called your brother during lunch time to come pick you up for lunch bc you were too scared to walk alone after being catcalled during your walk to your class

tooru sends out iwa to go help you as an apology from this morning and he just runs to your class bc you were in trouble and he was going to protect you!!

go iwa-chan!

he finds you sitting on your chair, looking down at your desk as there seemed to be boys piled up on top of each other, trying to get your attention

first world problems, amirite

‘OI!’

that angry grunt but at 2x bass boosted

hearing his voice, you were still embarrassed from earlier but you were so relieved

‘iwa-chan!’

iwa pushes people away and he grabs your hand to pull you up before wrapping an arm around your waist, protectively

‘if i see you idiots making her uncomfortable or even trying to touch her, i will destroy you’

protection and the feeling of safety is my fave

he leads you out of there to the stairway where him and his teammates were eating

he held your hand tightly and you squeezed it, trying to show that you were grateful

even if they were still male, your brother was there and if something happened, they were both strong enough to take them on

besides, its just mattsun and maki anyways

tooru saw you and he hugged you before leading you to the 2 others

‘guys, this is y/n, my sister. that’s mattsun and that’s makki.’

you slightly smiled and raised a hand in greeting

‘yo’

‘hello’

to be safe, iwa made you sit a step down from him so that if something happens, he could protect you

idk how but you do you boo

‘i can protect her too, iwa-chan!’

‘shut up, shittykawa. youre literally sticks and bones’

‘so mean! iwa-chan, you’re so mean!’

you giggled, head leaning down to rest on iwa’s right thigh since you were full and tired and he runs his hand through your hair

mattsun and makki shared a look before asking

‘are you dating our ace, y/n-chan?’

at the mention of dating, you both turned red and you sat up

‘OF COURSE NOT, MATTSUN, MAKKI!’

iwa shouts but his red face and ears betrayed him

‘iwa-chan grew up with us so he’s naturally like that. we’ve adopted him into our family!’

oikawa explained but you looked at him and he gave you a knowing look

oh he noticed everything

the lingering looks during practice

the bashful smiles during hang outs at home

unnecessary touches during the walk to school

oikawa may be annoying but he’s observant and he is smart

after that fiasco, the two boys were a little wary of letting you walk home alone so iwa offered to take you since he was already making more progress and didnt need extra practice while tooru wanted to practice more

‘iwa-chan, can we go to your house this time?’

he turned to look at you curiously since you never ask to go to his place

‘i miss your mom and ive been meaning to go visit her. so can we, iwa-chan?’

you squeezed his hand and showcased your pleading look making him agree

‘fine’

his house wasn’t a frequently hung out spot since your house was closer but you were still familiar with his home since his mother was fond of you

‘tadaima’

mama iwaizumi peaked from the kitchen and greeted him home before squealing at the sight of the youngest oikawa

‘oh my, y/n-chan! hello!’

‘hello, auntie!’ 

she gave you a big hug and you returned it with a laugh

iwa just standing there to the side with a smile bc his mom approves so all is good in life

‘you’ve grown so much, y/n-chan! so much prettier too!’ you turned bashful at her compliments.

then she leaned forward to whisper in your ear but made her voice loud

‘say, has my son finally ask you to be his girlfriend?’

omg mama iwaizumi really ships it

iwa turns red and complains to his mom about being in his business too much

‘don’t be so timid, hajime! y/n-chan could be taken from under your nose any minute now!’

‘dont you think i know that’ he mumbles but very lowly so that no one hears him

but you decide to tease him more

‘no. but i’m waiting for it. i’ll tell you once he does, auntie!’

fed up with the teasing, he grabs you and drags you up to his room to change into comfortable clothing

you sit on his bed while he rummages through his closet for a sweatshirt and sweatpants

‘here! change into these!’ he shouts, still flustered and refusing to look at your eyes

youre an oikawa and you lived to tease so you stood up, tossing the clothes to the side and wrapping your arms around his neck

ooo gurl you want iwa to die today, don’t you?

he gets even redder and scowls

‘oi, y/n, what are you doing’

you shook your head

‘nothing. i just miss my prince iwa-chan. you were so brave for saving me today, prince iwa-chan’

the nickname used to not affect him that much but now, he watches the it fall from your cherry lips

‘say my name’

you furrowed your eyebrows

‘iwa-chan?’

he gently shakes his head no

‘my real name’

‘iwaizumi hajime’

you say, distracted at the way his mouth moves

‘and what’s yours?’

‘iwaizumi y/n’

you breathed out

he growls softly before taking your sinful lips

wowza jesus took the wheel bc he stepped on that pedal

we going straight 100 mph up in this bih

iwa really said, ‘skip the confession. imma go straight for my babie girl’s lips. also, proposal who? let’s go get married in vegas!’

it wasnt even been literally 15 minutes until you came bounding the stairs wearing hajime’s signature grey hoodie with his seijoh sweatpants and calling for your auntie to announce you were now dating are going to get married

‘WHAT!?’ 

she screams and comes running from the kitchen, holding a ladle

you flashed a grin while iwa shows a small smile with red cheeks from behind you before telling you that you were both too young to get married

‘i told ya you would be the first to know’

after dinner, you call your brother and hes like, ‘okay, since you’re not at home i’m assuming youre at iwa’s’

‘omgomgomg, nii-chan! i just had dinner with my boyfriend’s family! they accepted me!’

‘BOYFRIEND?! DOES IWA-CHAN KNOW!? HOW COULD YOU BREAK HIS HEART?!’

oikawa just has that special type of voice that even without being on speaker phone, it sounds like he is

iwa laughs at his friend’s worried questions

‘better hand over your princess to the prince, grand king’

oikawa screamed

i hope i did my mans justice 

[withleeknow]

100% agree - it's all a fat marketing ploy (randomly selected albums for enha's cb had fabric samples “worn”* by the members?? *just mass-produced but the way it was marketed as such is an ick, like no-one really needs that IMO) + I saw there's a new survival show that's been launched for contestants aged *drumroll pls* 3-15 😳

when they posted this today, they 100% had us in mind w/ the hyunho bakery straight off the bat tinyurl.com/2btpa47y what is with everyone's face cards this cb? they're all looking too good for my sanity I can't keep up-

also the way that mimo and jay are the certified acts-of-service mother-chef hybrid of their groups is just asdfghjkl i would trust them with everything <3 and ik mimo is the bread-and-butter, the muse, the forever moment but your seungmin fics truly do something to me. the man just works so well with quick-witted, tension-building scenes basically an INTJ's dream

lastly sending you these cutie-patooties as a serotonin boost - tinyurl.com/mr39mtkj - i adore their dynamic <3

I lied. last swerve into 💜 territory - have you listened to jimin's muse? ๋࣭  ࣪𓍼

oh yeah i read about the survival show. hello people wtf are toddlers supposed to showcase lmao. kpop gets wilder and wilder every day i cannot comprehend anymore. how does any of this still get greenlit. we are living in the worst timeline fr

HYUNHO THIS CB 😭 i've been deprived for a minute and they said hello here you go this is a feast!! but yes i agree lol what is this face economy that everyone is serving. every day new content drops and idek where to look idek how to process anything bc everyone looks so good 😭

hehehhe i do have a lot of fun writing seungmin! i feel like writing that kind of personality comes pretty naturally to me, seriously an intj's dream lmao. and ngl you know i love hyunjin but idk honestly i have kind of a hard time writing him for some reason 😭 we're still trying to figure out how to best portray him but it is a whole Process lol

THIS WAS SO CUTE :(((( look at hyunjin's smile and his instant and enthusiastic yes! ahh my heart i love him :((((

i have listened to jimin's album yes! the visuals are fun, the music is fun, overall i like it. however nothing can beat FACE for me tho, he really popped off with that one and i don't think i've ever really moved on from it lol that was one of my top bangtan solo albums! wbu onigiri, thoughts on MUSE? 👀