#i rbed a link to the aromantic manifestio a couple posts down if u want to find it

[mordcore]

i have some thoughts after reading the aromantic manifesto. like the metaphor in sophies world about the wizard pulling the bunny out of the magic hat? i don't actually understand that metaphor but what i do feel right now is how once you've stepped back and seen (a part of) the big picture, you can't go back to ignorance. romance is a scam and i can never go back to trying to follow the dream because the illusion has become transparent. just like the illusion that anyone can make it rich or become famous has long dissipated in front of my eyes and i can't understand why i ever believed it in the first place, the goals i'm supposed to strive after aren't really anything i want or the way to get there leads over the corpses of the exploited. i don't believe in the self-regulating free market or the benevolence of authority or the protection of the police or the justice of the state (or justice by punishment in general) and i don't believe in marrying a prince or love at first sight or destined soulmates or love-romance as the solution to any single problem i face, or that anyone else faces. i see my friend in a toxic relationship because she thinks the fact that it's romantic makes up for the pain it causes, and i see friends and colleagues going to the gym because it makes them more desirable and is supposed to help them reach the fantasy goal of the perfect partner and no more fear of abandonment when someone better than you comes along. heteronormativity is the divide and conquer at extremum, divide everyone into nice binary categories to desire each other and then make everyone in that category compete with each other for the other categories affections. monogamy is to ensure the competition never stops, 'cause if you have to choose just one, what's to guarantee you won't be replaced later?

i am not playing that game anymore. and i hope to help other people to see this, too, if or when it hurts them. i guess in a way being aromantic can be very radical, if it is rejecting love-romance of all things as holy and natural and eternal and pure, something that few people dare question, apparently. so much that "don't worry, you will find someone" is the most common response to "i am aromantic", because people cannot wrap their heads around someone not wanting to find someone. maybe it really is worldview-shattering. i don't know. but i'm trying to find out and learn and understand better, because romance can't be this nonsensical, right??