#i rant abt it all the time here
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Welp…..i sent my mom one lyric chunk from yoongi’s new song haegeum and ummm, well, this is wat she has to say “i find it hypocritical that he’s rapping about capitalism and corruption wen he’s contributing in the system/ a part of a big company that’s a big part of it”
I mean, she kinda does have a point, but I didn’t show her the whole MV (or the whole song) where imo to her argument that i think he kinda knows they sold out. I mean, his ceo version drowning his normal looking self (???) the “poorer self” (???) in that tub of money. And then it ended with him shooting himself. I think his ceo self is the personified version of potential guilt tht being part of this industry is pretty hypocritical or greed personified. Idk, tht’s my interpretation of the haegeum mv.
My mom just said “well, agree to disagree” as i tried to explain more of the context. She still kinda hung up over it, it’s kinda funny.
And disclaimer before yall chop our heads off: my mom is not being a hater (even tho I jokingly called her one), she’s just upset that bts basically sold their souls to the devil but also pities that even as adult men, they still feel like they cant stand up to their company (and that’s for a lot of groups unfortunately, and we all know why). I hope this doesnt get taken out of context. Did my mom overreact? Yeah. Is she entirely wrong? Not really. I think she saw one thing and overreacted at the moment but hasnt seen the full picture in context.
(sounds familiar dont you think?)
#hello it’s been awhile#did i miss anything here?#ik the bts fanbas has gone crazier than ever#i mean i been knew#i rant abt it all the time here#and now more ppl are seeing it#the thing is will they do something abt it?#not really jikook/ kookmin related#im just a part of that side of the fan base lol
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forgive me if you've been asked this before or if its annoying, but how did you learn to use colored pencils like that? your art is so special to me.
ty :) I took an art class for a few years where our teacher had us buy prismacolor pencils as one of the art supplies and had us use them kinda like paints, pressing down hard right away and blending the colors together. its not how youre supposed to use them she was just trying to teach us to use color and ig this was more to the point. I picked them up again years after i stopped going to that class just bc they were there and i wanted to play around w them a bit and ended up actually enjoying it when doing it on my own terms lol
#it was a weird class#it was just this russian lady doing private lessons in her house that my mom learned about somehow#I did NOT like those classes all we did was still life and they were hours long which is esp rough when im in high school and busy#and she wanted us to stand while working the whole time bc tradition i guess?#she did allow me to work sitting but thought i was lazy for it. idk dude i dont want to exhaust myself fast for no reason#standing is a lot more tiring than walking#i def did still benefit from those classes just from learning to accurately draw from life#did not like the teacher tho#on one hand shed paid for the art supplies for kids whos families were too poor to (and these are nice expensive supplies)#which is very nice#but on the other she was very homophobic and open about it#like when they legalized gay marriage she went on a rant about how horrible it is that they can adopt kids now#and also kind of racist#she was telling me how she got blocked from a facebook group bc she made a post asking if she could speak to a white person#and she didnt realize she was posting that publicly she thought it was a private message to the group owner#im honestly still not sure i heard/understood her correctly bc it was so bizzare and the only time i ever remember her being racist#she talked abt it like she genuienly was unaware it was racist#she described it as a misunderstanding bc she accidentally posted it publicly instead of privately#like it wouldnt have been racist to ask that at all#also one time she talked about how she saw demons in her home once#also she doesnt vaccinate her kids bc of microchips#she was like a walking russian stereotype lol#anyway heres some ink the artist lore
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if anyone seeing this post is under the impression that not attending university lectures is fun and edgy. let me paint you a picture. you are going to look at your calendar one day soon and realise your final is in 38 hours and you still have 17 and a half hour long lectures to watch and take notes from.. and while this is possible to achieve it's not exactly relaxing. yeah i'm still fine-tuning my academic skills what abt it
#aha. ahahaa. ahahaaa.#no okay HEAR ME OUT. this is actually the best position i've been in all year academically 💔 i've taken every final so far this year w/o#having seen any lectures... & in my defense i wasn't skipping bc i thought it was fun or edgy. the real reasons are just too fucked up#to explain. i still wish that i had been better this term. i wish i had been able to make things turn out differently. i am always wishing#but now the only thing left to do is try my best with the time i have left and start again next year#anyway here is an insight into the strange and terrible grief that is my academic life.#so far it is a life mostly full of mistakes. but i will not give up.#it will continue. things will improve.#🐝#SORRY ABT THIS RANT. DIDNT MEAN TO SAY SO MUCH#this was ... supposed to be a joke post#DONT WORRY ABT ME I HAVENT FAILED ANYTHING YET AND IM NOT INTENDING TO START NOW
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pisces/virgo placements... it's about time you took care of yourself, too, ok?
you burn yourselves out allowing yourself to be pulled by so many people in all different directions. you exhaust all your resources and empty your cup - no, your entire well - to help those around you, even people you don't know. it's such a beautiful thing, and i know you genuinely love helping others, supporting people, seeing them thrive. it's such a beautiful trait! but you constantly end up neglecting yourself, right? you don't realize that you have permission to set aside time to care for you, to cater to your needs for once. you often feel like no one puts a drop in your cup, the favor is never returned - it's exhausting; you might think if you just keep giving your all it will come back; i understand. you will find the people that give the same energy back to you one day, but regardless of whether you've found those people yet, you need to learn to step aside and fill your own cup!
setting boundaries and saying no is the most important thing you will learn to do in this lifetime. it will not be easy for you, sometimes it will feel painful. but you cannot help the world if you're constantly drained and tired! you deserve to take care of yourself in the same way you do for others. be gentle to your kind soul, nourish yourself; do the things you love to do. learn to worry about others less, as hard as it is, and focus on yourself more.
#astrology#luna.txt#pisces#virgo#mutable#ok i love making posts in this style and like the last post i made#i almost didnt make my last post bc i was worried no one would like it#but u all were so nice and received it so well#so i hope this one can resonate too!!!#i luv u <3#i really really wanna carve out time to post here more!!#im currently working three jobs tho so a little exhausted flkdjfjdlf#also i cannot stop watching anime lately#if any of u have suggestions for stuff that has the vibe of my happy marriage and lvl 999 yamada... pls tell me#i love that cheesy non-stressful romance especially like the yamada 999 anime 😭💖#genshin. anime. work. thats my life lately. and thats ok#omg ive also been watching hidden love and its so cute#i was worried it'd be creepy w/ the age gaps but so far seems ok??#sorry i always end my posts with unrelated rants but anyway<3#if anyone ever needs to talk abt anime/astro/genshin/cdramas.. i am here#mine
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just need to give a shoutout to all the people who interact w me or the things i make on here for the love and good vibes. twitter's been pissing me off the past couple days and i just think it reaffirms i'll never really leave tumblr bc the fandom culture here is just so much.. more lol
#more respectful funnier more loving more fun in a lot of ways#getting lectured by ppl years younger than me abt why posting shit without credit is ok when its like#all the best and most fun fandom spaces are dying#ppl are growing up sure but all these ppl are like 'i used to make gifs so heres why ur wrong' and its like#oh you USED to? well whyd u stop ? bc the effort level wasnt worth it just to be#saved and reposted w ill intent or not get any interaction like its so#everything is abt a race for interaction on the dumbest n most unoriginal jokes#its extremely frustrating to try to justify spendinf any time doing anything online anymore when ppl are so fcuking flippant like its crazy#'heres a shitty unsized n uncoloref gif i ran through some website and IM okay w ppl reposting' like lol#anyway when giffing dies itll be a sad fuckinf day to me jfkd truly a useless skill#but that means everyone still doing it is doing it for the love of the game or#the love of archival work and it makes ppl beinf so fuckinf disrespectful#or going to bat for nonsense seem so absurd to me like#really . really. if u have an option to share where it originally came from with one less click#ur gonna choose NOT to do that and instead repost just to insinuate the person who made it did it to insult someknes appearance#like. its just so.#fandom is dying and its so sad and etiquette is nowhere to be found so NXKKD gratefuo for the ppl gere#and sorry for the rant#none of thise matters but ive had an abundance of free time the past few says so ive been STEWING#mostly just want to say i love u all NDKKS and even if ive complained abt interaction its mostly just tbing website dying more than anything#which. is so sad lol#but i love everyone still here
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truthfully i want to back away from jjk but i don’t know how
#bc i still love nanami & want to write about him but#i don’t feel like i’m a part of the fandom anymore#& im okay w it i just want to have my own space on here#it’s just all i see allll the time and i’m kind of tired of it :( bc i don’t care anymore#i don’t get excited about it like i do bsd either :(#i also don’t just want to be known as a jjk blog which i feel like … i kind of am now maybe :/#but like it’s ALLL people post about & i have a lot of jjk moots which i love so i’m not going to block anyone 😭😭 but i also wish i could#just like …. distance myself easier lol#it’s mostly the fandom too like idk i don’t like it#anyway sorry for the rant but if you’re wondering why i’m posting all abt bsd again all of the sudden this is why#i just realized it makes me a lot happier !! :3 to be more a part of that side of tumblr
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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble
I will not be brief, all under the cut
To clear some things right off the bat:
No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.
Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality
The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.
This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.
Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:
Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.
All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.
Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).
And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.
At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.
I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.
Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.
This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.
It shifts something between them.
From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.
As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.
Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.
Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.
I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.
I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.
I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.
As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.
I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.
Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great
#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one#i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking#and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped#i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format#anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head#idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope#im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT#ieytd#john juniper#reginald crane#junicrane#starstruck#i expect you to die#<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that#the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two#make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL#GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga#thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry
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Badge seller designs but thEY ARE LESS OF A FUCKED UP LITTLE CREATURE YIPPEE!!
#a hat in time#ahit badge seller#badge seller#a hat in time fanart#LOOK AT THEM THE SILLY LIL GUY#they are so stupid looking I love it#“erm akshully! ☝️🤓”#Stupid ahh glasses#I hate that I have lore for this#GODAMN#LORE DUMP RAAAHHHHH 💥🦅💥🦅💥💥💥💥💥🦅💥💥🦅💥🦅💥🦅💥#OK SO This is all stuff to do with a story I'm working on (and will forget about next week don't get your hopes up broski 😋😋)#It kinda started as a rant Abt being trans and disabled and them spiraled into 20k words 😇😇#But so essentially they are a silly goober#UGH IM CAMERA SHY NOW#BUT they don't have their walking stick here#CAUSE#they need it bc of the glitching. They're legs just straight up go to diff dimensions sometimes#It's a whole thing goddamn#BHT this only happened after they became some fucked up goober#Which I have decided if cause they got trapped in the twighlight bell/horizon?#Probs the horizon have you seen the moonjumper
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also found my expensive leather oxford annotated bible with apocrypha while going thru my things.. girl that grew up with terrible religious family standards and instead just got even more annoying about religion and the bible
#one of my favorite books while growing up was ecclesiastes and my favorite verse was futility futility all is futile. i think that should#have been a big sign of Something Wrong with this child when i was young lmao. i feel like ur favorite bible book growing up or etc says so#much abt you .. then again i’m also Unwell so.#also really loved revelations and psalms and genesis of course….. also i miss my bible growing up that i read through the entire thing twice#every single month and every page was fiiiillled with so many notes and observations and theories and philosophical musings#i was such a scholar. but if i talked about all my thoughts on the bible and religion we would be here forever so.#LMAOOOO I JUST REMEMBERED HOW I WOULD GO TO THERAPY AS A KID AND THE WHOLE TIME I WOULD SPEND ON A PHILOSOPHY RANT ABOUT THE BIBLE AND DEATH#AND THE MEANING OF LIFE ETC ETC ETC ….. love my kid self she had so many Issues <3
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there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)
#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse#yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like#seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under#the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u#less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it#for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism#like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci#sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be#voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her#and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten#hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting#bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right#oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags-#it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it#this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so#cw self harm in tags#idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭#fanfic#ao3#ryan shut the fuck up
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Hi sorry if this is weird to say but i saw some of your Persona 5 art on Pinterest and i wanted to check you out bc i really really liked ur style and HOLY MOLY YOU HAVE IMPROVED. Ofc i know that it's old art and time passes and new things will look different n shit but!!! Dude!!! Your art looks fantastic!!!
NOT WEIRD AT ALLLLL HELP THIS IS SO FUNNY I LOVE U. Genuinely one of the best reactions gotten outta me like I can’t imagine going from seeing the older art to the new that fast you just like speed ran my own life LOL but srsly tysm!!! It always makes me smile so wide seeing ppl come from my persona art bcuz it is and was such an important part of my art & life yknow !!! I hope to draw more of it again!!! honorary verterans badge for liking my older stuff (blows my mind to think it’s still enjoyable dhakgswh) even if u weren’t here for when I was originally posting it cuz only real ones loved that stuff way back . This has done NUMBERZ for my brain btw
For anyone curious this is from an old comparison I did on my main last yr. HUHHH ⁉️⬇️
#TY AGAIN 🐢#asks#not tomaart#I always struggle w insane thoughts like ‘I haven’t progressed at all *bashing head*’ and then wonderful little doves carrying a lovely#mssg from above (asks like these) and I realize#that time DOES pass and new things look better <3 hurrah#WAIT SORRY TAG RANT BC OLD ART REMINED ME#have i ever told u guys abt when I was rlly big in the persona fanbase here that ppl would comic dub my art all the time w/o showing me and#then I stumbled on one and the comments were like WHY DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE GIRAFFES XD and the op was like IDK XD and that changed me 5eva#started drawing necks short n big to leave my tortured past (bullied on utube) behind *eagel caw*#like in this u cant rlly see the giraffe necks but I promis u. it was scary .#I think the true scare tho was when I didn’t draw noses for a time.... WHEN I LOVE DRAWING THEM⁉️ *hides under the bed* so scary
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genuinely so devastating to finish my flcl rewatch and pull up the tumblr tag confident that everyone else is also down cataclysmic for haruko and posting abt it but *crickets*
#I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY POPULAR ON HERE.... WHAT THE HELL GUYS#appreciate all the artbook stuff and the handful of fanartists but other than that its so dead its so over 😭😭😭😭#and most of the posts abt her are like 'shes such a terrible person but fun character other than that!' STFU. POSER#her selfishness and apathy and singleminded drive is literallt what makes her so fucking hot whats so hard to understand#a woman is headstrong n decisive n doesnt care abt ending the world for her ambitions n suddenly ur like ohhh devotion is baaaad#move aside gayboy im gonna get it id let use me in whatever scheme she needs thr fact shed only pretend to care abt me is even better 🥴#i love physically violent women i love being smacked with bass guitars hi hello im right here 😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚#wheres that post thats like i dont even have mommy issues i just think its hot to be a womans pet LITERALLLYYYY#god i need to draw her 5 million times but i wont have any free time until at least tues.....so sad#wait for me babygirl...... i wont forget abt u#we would have the most toxic relationship ever it would be awful for everyone in a 50 mile radius people would die#fake manic pixie dream girl fans when a girl with real mania comes at them:#ANYWAY RANT OVER i need to get my shit together for work tmr#also my chocolate orange cake turned out sooooo good i need to use this recipe again sometime#feeling way better plus i didnt even fully crash i just had like an hour or two of turbulence. but i do need to start winding down for bed#soooo goodnight everyone... and haruko especially.......#.diaries#flcl
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for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again
Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee
Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.
Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.
Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg
SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.
Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be
Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,
ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.
Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at
I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.
Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao
#sand speaks#hiiiii bestie my silly mutual. youve heard this rant before now for it poorly formatted in text#i mean its better formatted than when i actually talk abt it cuz if i wrote it the way i originally did the points would not be organised#like at all. itd be so bad#anyways all of this is lighthearted i dont think less of anyone with different opinions i just. dont believe the theory at all#i like the tragedy thag comes woth it technhcally not being his fault but also kinda being his fault.#like maybe he had really bad manners towards relatives. or horribls bedside manner (youre in my way just die already“ like ok mr kirisaki.#dont say that to a comatose patient my dude. but yeah it can be argued that morally hed be in the wdong#or if he persuaded relatives to dknate patients organs. which is rude and also malpractice (coercion and taking advantage of ppl in vulnerab#and with his themes of lying (covers) i fhink it could wither be lying to relatives of patients OR. him seeing hsi work and the promise of#saving people from illness or death as a lie and a hoax becasye so many people died anyways despite those promises#anhwyas im insane about this man. characters with extreme worldviews entirely of their own making my beloved#like nothing told him to believe this. he just does and thats whats interesting to me#anywasy suuper sorry about the big essay and the many tags. i love this fandom#i have so much to say but so little phone battery. and mental battery its Zzzzzzzzz time#tell me if abything in here sounds mean or anything btw im too used to being mean as a jokiing thing so im worried ill offend someone
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I’ve been thinking, and I think I’m going to change the way I talk about my headcanons and wof writing to something like a rewrite/reworking. I love wof but it’s become really apparent that the way I engage with it is really more as a world to expand and work in vs a book series I’m analyzing as-is. I think it’ll give me the freedom to actually post the stuff I’m thinking and working on bc I don’t have to keep chaining myself to making it work with all the confusing and contradictory canon tidbits that Tui barely remembers she established. Thoughts?
#this is no shade at all to ppl who do focus on headcanons/analysis I love you all and I’m giving all of you a kiss on the cheek /p#but it’s frustrated me for a long time#I think it’ll also help attract like. the convos I want to be having??#since like. rn i feel like all I do is reblog art I like bc I feel like I’m on a way different wavelength than my mutuals#idk I write these honestly to see what other people do and think about them and to get out my own thoughts abt a world I do really love#but idk if all of you are here for jobs/canon compliant hcs/fanart it feels like I’m driving an unnecessary wedge in my blog#not to imply a rework wouldn’t be canon compliant#if I wanted to really make my own story with dragons I’d just. go do that#but needing to fact-check everything to see if I’m accidentally contracting smth is getting really tiring#and I know it’s not like. necessary to writing hcs but it’s how *I* do them if that makes sense#I wouldn’t feel right posting things I knew went against the authors world bc like. that matters to someone#even if that someone is only me#anyway rant over#sunny rambles
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i fixate on one of my fictomeres to the point that it's hard to connect with my other identities, and i kind of don't like that? it makes me self-doubt my other identities, even.
part of it is probably due to me having ADHD. part of it, though, is just that...the impact it has. it's not really that one is more important to me than the other, but my fictionkinity/fictivity is like a thorn in my side. it's painful and it grabs my attention. i have to prioritize it.
i don't think it was always like this, either. i remember being pretty enthusiastic about being spiderhearted at one time. when i can think about it, i like my brown bear linktype. i can't recall when exactly i developed these complicated feelings about myself, but i've gotten so numb and so obsessed it's hard to connect with anything else.
#vague rants#fictionkind#i've been trying to resurrect my spiderheartedness#i think part of what's made me numb to that in particular is...i finally deliberated killed spiders this year. for the first time ever#they were Joros. i live in Georgia. it's pretty bad down here with these guys#i was trying to clear them from the yard but like...there were so many to kill that i felt like i couldn't keep up#they drove out orb weavers + almost all the false widows ive seen the past 2 years have been indoors#anyway i didnt mean to vent abt Joros im venting abt how killing Joros might have messed up my heartedness#despite the fact that spiders kill & eat *each other* all the time. cannibalistically even
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I’m so sad that my lesbian spider revolution has died
#For context when I used to come here as a kid I called all the spiders in the bathroom a lesbian spider revolution#Bc one time I got stuck in there and decided to rant to all of them abt how they don’t need men and only need each other#Idk what younger me was doing
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