#i ran out of time yesterday to do all the moodboards i wanted for the friendship exchange but i couldn't not make one for this fic!

[the-scandalorian]

The Language of Flowers by @lowlights

this fic combines several of my favorite things: din, gardens, clandestine meetups, and yearning

it satisfies the dream i didn't even know i had--getting romantically railed by the mandalorian in a victorian greenhouse

it's hard to put into words just how lush, steamy, and idyllic the gorgeous writing is and how delicious the pining is, so please go read it and see for yourself 💚

[noa-ciharu]

Subaru gets drunk and makes it Karen's problem crack fic

Thanks to Twitter idea of Karen making mistake of her life and inviting Subaru out for a drink wormed into my mind. Ofc I was insane enough to buy Smirnoff, get tipsy myself and write this crack fic. Absolute insanity, Subaru gets wasted for first time and can't shut up about dick he's not getting

Broke is fixing Subaru, woke bullying Seishirou and bespoke bullying Subaru (and Karen who has to deal with this depressed repressed horny drunk for first time in his life light-weight gay mess)

I even made a moodboard for drunk Subaru :D (fic is below)

Karen took a sip of her drink and leaned into bar stool. She side-eyed her drinking partner who was in sorry state after just one shot, sighed and wondered how she roped herself into this mess in the first place.

For past few weeks she’s been stopping by Seal’s dorm on semi-regular basis; just to make sure kids were alright, as much as circumstances allowed. Every now and then she ran into Subaru there; one needn’t be a genius to figure out guy was moping non-stop. He could use a shoulder to cry on, good dicking down or getting wasted, Karen diagnosed; as they were mere acquaintances she kept those thoughts private. Rest of Seals were children, of course they couldn’t offer too much reassurance to adult who by all indications went to hell and back; on other hand Karen barely knew anything about Subaru’s private life, hence it wasn’t her place to tell him what to do.

Alas, during today’s visit Karen ran into Subaru again. If possible he was in even worse state than usual. After battle with other side’s Kamui yesterday their Kamui was in yet another coma; maybe Subaru was extra down in dumps because of Kamui’s state or maybe for having noone to mop together with. Something about friendship goals. Really, if that’s how Kamui was emotionally relying on maybe they should all book graveyard spots on time; so much for emotional support, Subaru couldn’t even support himself.

Either way, Karen took pity and invited Subaru out for a drink. He looked like he needed a few. Impulsive decision but then again, she didn’t expect him to say yes anyways; mere courtesy, so she could tell herself later on that she at least tried bonding with third adult in their group. Imagine her shock when he agreed right of the bat – and even suggested that drinking night is tonight.

That’s how they ended in a pub close to Clamp campus. And that’s how after first drink Karen began questioning all her life choices that led her to the point where she had to play a bartender therapist to this melancholic therapist by occupation who happened to be in dire need of real therapist.

Subaru slumped over counter after just one glass of sake. He toyed with glass’ rim, looked like he was about to cry. Karen internally cursed herself again; cursed Subaru as well for putting her in awkward situation. Just what could happen to a man to reduce him to this moping mess? Love problems? Shitty life situation? Poverty? No, he was head of prestige clan, no way he had money issues. Death in family? Possibly given how he related to Kamui’s tragic losses. Karen hopped it ain’t that one; she could deal with love problems, her line of work made her more perceptive of any underlining emotional issues.

She dealt with countless types of men before, only natural Karen was confident she could handle a melancholic repressed gay.

Karen had no idea how wrong she was.

“Is this your first time trying sake? How do you like it?”, she tried with small talk. Had to start somewhere.

“I miss him”, Subaru murmured wistfully, completely ignored her question. Actually there was no need for verbal answer at all, his reaction spoke volumes.

Ah shit here we go. Karen took a sip of gin, mentally prepared herself for another round of soft parenting an emotional messed up man; only difference from her clients being that this one had zero interest in getting into her pants, just the opposite – wanted someone to get into his. Maybe Subaru needed both to get wasted and laid. Surely that combination would fix him.

“Miss who?”

“Seishirou-san…”

Like name meant anything. Karen said nothing at first, nursed her drink and waited for Subaru to elaborate. He didn’t. Just kept on yearningly gazing at almost empty glass as if that was his ex. Unbelievable. Karen definitely needed another shot; preferably something strong. For longest time she assumed there was noone with more internalized issues than her but next to Subaru she felt like common sense on two legs.

“Your ex boyfriend I assume?”, she asked finally in hope of breaking awkward silence. What to say, amazing drinking buddy.

“It’s… complicated”, Subaru murmured.

Of course it is, otherwise they wouldn’t be here. God forbid anything was simple with this mess in adult form to her left. Karen sighed and took a shot of dry gin. Ugh, so heavy on stomach, throat stung – exactly what she need to survive a night.

“If only we d-dated back then ... at least he would have dicked me down good”, Subaru complained with same face and tone one might use to describe weather.

Good thing she wasn’t drinking anything, otherwise she would have spit it all out. Listening to prestige clan head drunk whining he’s not getting enough sex surely wasn’t on Karen’s to-do list. Who would have thought someone as refined and modest as Subaru was just a repressed hormonal mess in a worn out coat and Balenciaga turtleneck; money surely wasn’t an issue but everything else was. Beware the quiet ones indeed. Karen had a hunch Kamui was following Subaru in steps. At least boy had higher chances of getting laid given how his battles with other Kamui looked.

“How do I get him to fuck me?”, Subaru yelp a tad bit too loudly and captured everyone's attention. Great, now everyone knew she was drinking with a gay man; so much for hoping for a peaceful night without getting hit on. So much for that. On brighter side maybe some of those suitors would try wooing Subaru instead of her.

“How much submissive and breedable I need to become?”, he complained further and reached for a glass. None of those words were in bible.

Instead of picking the glass up Subaru flipped it over; alcohol poured over counter. Subaru murmured sorry and cleaned the counter – with bare hand. Unbelievable. Never before has she seen such light-weight. But then again, that depended on food intake and general experience with alcohol; not only Subaru had none but also he struck as someone to live on ramen and tea.

There was no other - this night is mistake of a lifetime. All the men of quality were either taken or gay but Karen wasn’t really sure where to put Subaru there. Of quality part was… disputable.

Karen fetched a napkin and shoved into Subaru’s hand. He thanked her and managed to clean the counter before bartender showed up. If someone told her she’d be babysitting a twenty something man she would have laughed in their face. And yet here she was, doing precisely that.

Alas, consideration got the best of her - “Are you alright Subaru-san?”

“No, I need him to destroy me”

“Like in sheets or in streets?” - Karen asked hesitantly, unsure if she actually wanted to know.

“Yes”, Subaru deadpanned.

Yes, she definitely didn’t want to know.

Bartender walked to their side of bar. Karen took a moment to get herself another shot; heaven knows she’ll be needing it. Subaru also took note of that, apparently he wanted another round too. Karen was torn between being only responsible adult here and letting ambulance take Subaru home. Not to deny it, temptation to do the latter was high.

“Another one of these transparent things”, Subaru asked assuredly, like there weren’t dozen of spirits that fit that description.

“What?”

In turn Subaru raised glass up to bartender’s face to clarify - “This”

Glass was empty.

Karen wished second-hand embarrassment was strong enough to kill them both. Alas, it wasn’t.

“Just get him something light”, she cut in before Subaru could order Smirnoff and end up in newspapers.

He eased cigarette pack out of coat and lit one. Offered her one as well; she accepted. Subaru took a drag, then sighed and leaned against the counter. His expression was… tragic, to say the least. Really, he looked like his whole family died or something; despondency so primordial one couldn’t imagine him not being sad. Maybe she underestimated herself when she invited Subaru out; maybe this truly was a mess in human form that couldn’t be fixed - just made worse. Challenging but not impossible.

Subaru sighed, raked fingers through hair and took another puff. “Like all the repressed horniness of all these years struck me at once”, he whined and shook head in utter disbelief.

Ah, classic case of depressed repressed mid twenties man. Guy who wanted to believe he can’t keep own needs in check all until he could no longer – and that’s how all kinks known and unknown to mankind get unleashed. Karen had the unfortunate of meeting fair share of those in her line of work but something told her Subaru was league on his own.

“I must get railed before the dawn or I’ll die out of sexual frustration”

Noone ever died of that – Karen almost countered but kept argument behind teeth. Never say never and she’d rather not be the one to break the news to Seals, let alone explain why one fo their strongest met his maker and that he’s nowhere pure and demure as he appeared. How can she tell Aoki only other “adult” in group died because he didn’t get dicked down? Karen facepalmed and reached for her drink; it simply wasn’t doing it for her, she was still too sober for this.

On other hand, finding Subaru a man for the night could turn out to be interesting. Despite being the absolute worst drunk ever, he was still attractive; plus that horny sad puppy dog look would only allure sugar daddies like moth to the flame. Sure, he’s not yet over his ex but nothing a good fuck couldn’t fix.

“Best way to get over a man is to get under another. I’m sure we can find you something here”, Karen offered back and hoped Subaru will be sensible about his choices. Who knows where his ex even was? Would he even want Subaru back? Really, the sooner he gives dating others a try the higher chances of recovering from this ridiculous obsessiveness were.

And of course – curing the pinning diaster gay syndrome. But Karen didn’t have high hopes of that ever being fixed.

“I don’t want something”, Subaru protested right away. Because of course he would; of course nothing in Karen’s life can go easy, not even finding a drinking buddy. She was here to have a good time and what did she get? Role of a babysitter. Karen couldn’t wait until Sorata and Yuzuriha twenty so she could take them out drinking, they’d be far more interesting company.

“I want… him” – Subaru added yearningly and glanced up, kicked puppy look on face.

Karen was half tempted to ask just who that guy was so she could meet that ultimate alpha male capable of causing this much psychological damage. Whoever that guy is he is a pro at ‘making him worse’ for sure. Karen didn’t dare ask what they broke over about; no amount of dry vodka would make her forget.

“His dick or nothing” - Subaru puffed with absolute firmness and reached for tequila. Damn, she told bartender to bring him something light; couldn’t blame the guy for wanting to profit on someone like Subaru who’ll surely give a big tip.

Now Karen had to meet this ‘Mr. magical big dick’ guy. Frankly speaking, taking Subaru’s sorry mental and emotional state into account she has a hunch big dick title would be more allegorical derogatory one than literal. Not like she could ask Subaru just how endowed his ex was.

“How do you know his dick is so good when you never felt it?”

The moment words left Karen’s lips she knew she fucked up. Subaru whimpered and teared up immediately; sniffed once more and rubbed eyes with back of hand. Great, now on top of being messy horny drunk he’ll turn into sobbing one, cry a river here and get them permanently banned from this bar. She loved this place!

Rule no.1: never remind Subaru that he never got fucked by his bastard ex.

“I know it’s good. I know it…”, Subaru sniffed further, sulked and took a smoke so deep he started coughing.

Rule no.2: never bring his ex’s bedroom skills he didn’t even get taste of into question.

“Alright alright, whatever you insist”, Karen tapped his back and changed the topic. “How he looks like? Maybe we can find someone similar”

“He’s hot”, Subaru purred out, love-struck look on face. Unbelievable.

Rule no.3: just play on a safe side and never ask Subaru anything about his ex. It’s for mutual benefit.

Being so dazed Subaru didn’t notice where he wasn't putting out his cigarette; so he ended up dowsing it on back of own hand. He hissed at first, then closed eyes and moaned. Karen hoped she heard it wrong due to loud music but pleasured look on Subaru’s face betrayed everything.

“Damn that felt so good, I wish he’d do that to me”, he moaned once more, completely unabashed.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that”

True she could be quite kinky herself when partner whets her appetite but it seemed Subaru’s masochistic possibly fatal kinks had no limits. Awkward really. All in all now she was entirely sure she and Aoki were only adults among Seals.

Subaru chugged remaining tequila, hissed and raised empty glass up in air. Karen regretted not bringing a camera or something just so she could show a sober Subaru how loose his drunk self is. He’d wish Earth opens and swallows him whole so he’d get drink to forget and only open a vicious cycle. Also it’d serve a good advertisement what happens when you’re leading a repressed depressed life as a gay man. Kamui needed to see this cautionary tale and world will get saved immediately.

He sighed again with pensive look. “His shoulders are so wide he has to walk sideways through doors”, Subaru praised (or so Karen assumed although there was nothing admirable about being built like a triangle?) his ex and raised empty glass to lips. Then pouted once he realized no alcohol was left. Karen tried visualizing Subaru’s ex but all that her mind came up with was a red colored triangle; red as all the flags this disaster gay must have missed.

“Damn I wish he lends me that shoulder to put legs on whenever I’m sad”

Wait, wasn’t phrase to shoulder to lean on? Whatever makes Subaru happy she gue – wait wait, is that even possible for him? Karen tried visualizing Subaru happy but image came just as easy his absolute green flag ex boyfriend.

Meaning things didn’t add up. “But you’re always sad?”, she addressed Subaru with puzzled look.

“Precisely”

Karen glanced at all alcohol bottles in distance. Maybe if she chugged them all she won’t remember any of Subaru’s ramblings. Apparently bartender noticed her look as he returned to their counter.

“Boy, shot of jack” – she ordered right away. God knows she’ll be needing it. Plus bill is on Subaru’s tab so more reasons to get absolutely smashed. Karma.

“And for me -”

“- only thing you’re getting is water Subaru-san”

She was referring to him with ‘san’ only due to clan head title; given what Karen saw and heard so far ‘kun’ would be far more appropriate.

Subaru moped a bit at being denied more alcohol. Although who was she to tell him, a grown up (however just in name and ID card that should get revoked) man, when enough is enough? For some reason Subaru listened to her; for whole five minutes however before he ordered another gin. He chugged it before bartender even put drink on the counter.

Karen stared. Karen blinked. Utter disbelief. No, let it all go to hell. She chugged her shot too. If she gets wasted to then she won’t have to hold Subaru’s head over canal when alcohol poisoning kicks in. Heaven help Seals if Angels attack tonight, they’d be two commanders down. Although Subaru could use some of those homoerotic battles to get pent up frustrations out of system, just like -

“Kamui is constantly getting licked, choked and homoerotically pinned to the wall by his enemy with benefits” – Subaru vocalized her precise thoughts. If Kamui is tossing and turning in bed now it’s because of Subaru’s repressed envy. So much for dream friendship.

“God I wish it was me”, he moaned and rubbed cheek on bar’s counter. Maybe he was crying, Karen couldn’t tell from where she was sitting.

Karen chuckled silently to herself and took a sip of jack. For a moment she felt pity for him. Sympathy lasted until Subaru opened mouth to spout next insanity.

“Oh Seishirou-san, who you’re murdering tonight? Why it isn’t me?”

She spit drink out.

Stupor was brief however. Self-preservation kicked in, she gaped at Subaru and screamed - “What?!”

Now it was Subaru’s turn to be confused. “What?”, he addressed her with judging look, like he was in position to judge anyone here. “He’s Sakurazukamori, that’s his business”

If God truly existed he was watching this and laughing his ass off somewhere in heaven. Karen facepalmed and groaned for nth time tonight. She was worried her face will permanently deform from all the cringing. So Subaru was fooling around with his clan’s enemy clan; an infamous assassin to the boot. Suddenly Karen wasn’t so keen on meeting man who ruined Subaru’s life anymore; she liked to call that having self-preservation skills and common sense. Unlike disaster in human form to her left that was whining about not being dicked down by a serial killer.

Maybe other side’s Kamui had a point – apocalypse was a dire need.

“What are you two, Japanese version of Romeo and Juliet?”, Karen deadpanned once initial shock wore off. She’ll still be processing this information in weeks that follow with Lotus, for her sanity.

“If only, then he’d both take me and take me out”, Subaru complained for nth time. Karen had a hunch their relationship was fuck-marry-kill on endless spiral.

Oh well, you know the saying – bad boys are hotter then good ones. True Sakurazukamori ruined Subaru’s life but at least Subaru could say a sexy man ruined his life. Wait, what nonsense was she saying? Oh looks like alcohol final got to her.

Good. She took another sip for good measures. The less she remembered the better.

Subaru chugged another shot. He hissed and leaned back into seat – unfortunately way too far. He fell down from stool. Shit, she should help him up, shouldn’t she? But if she got up now balance would betray her too. Plus he deserved some karma, in Karen’s humble opinion. Luckily for them both some guy rushed to Subaru’s rescue. Knight in shining armor and if everything played out right also a dick provider for the night. Karen lost all hope there was a permanent fix for Subaru’s endless pile of issues but some railing will make him forget about his serial killer ex for a night.

Or not apparently. Subaru glanced up at guy, then murmured wistfully – “Seishirou-san?”

The hell no. For a second Karen was worried that was really the Sakurazukamori and that she’ll be reduced to a tombstone for daring to put Subaru into environment where other men can hit on him (look, nothing told her Sakurazukamori was just as obsessed with Subaru as Subaru with him but she just knew, call it woman intuition) but one look at guy’s face informed he was just as confused as she was. Apparently Subaru’s intoxicated mind could still discern normal men from his red flag ex so he stood up on his own and pushed this dejected guy away. So much for finding a replacement, looks like Subaru’s type were guys with body count.

“No wait, I think he’s in left corner actually”, Subaru murmured and pointed that direction. Karen glanced and noticed yet another tall menacing looking guy.

“Oh fuck me and my life”, Karen cursed under breath.

Great, now rest of night will be one paranoid mess induced by Subaru’s horny disaster gay mind hallucinating his ex in every corner. From corner of eye Karen noticed bartender nearing. She waved his way.

“Boy, shot of Smirnoff. Actually make it three”

~ 🍾 🍾 🍾 ~

After who knows how many more shots, complains about not getting any cock, asking for advice on how to change that, hallucinating his ex some more, breaking three glasses, almost getting kicked out, rambling some more about his ex and spending month’s worth of salary in one night Karen finally took Subaru out of bar. She held arm around his waist so he doesn’t collapse. To be fair she too was tipsy but still in far better shape.

“Look, a sakura tree”, Subaru whimpered like a child and pointed towards said tree.

After listening to all the drunken ramblings and things she’d rather not recall Karen came to a conclusion: someone should revoke Subaru’s adult rights. It’s misleading to think of him as grown-up.

For a bit she wondered what to do with this soon-to-be-throwing-up mess that potentially needed ambulance as ride home. Obviously she couldn’t leave drunk as high hell Subaru in the middle of street. If he gets kidnapped, injured or dies in some alley out of alcohol poisoning what will she tell Kamui? That his emotional support died because he was thirsting too hard over some emotionally unavailable dick?

She spied taxis on other side of the street. Alright, maybe she should make sure Subaru makes it home and then have same taxi continue the ride and take her home too. Heaven knows how much she craved comfort of her bed and -

“I think I’ll take Subaru-kun from here on” – low masculine voice cut her mussing short.

Karen swirled around in a flash; self-preservation was how she survived in risky line of work all these years. Tall man, dressed in black; he had sunglasses on at 2am - cringe. Instinct told Karen this guy was nothing but bad news. Apparently Subaru didn’t share the sentiment as he flew into guy’s embrace; arm wrapped possessively around his waist in a flash, grin on guy’s face. So much for learning on mistakes, Subaru charged at red flags like a bull.

“Seishirou-san…”, Subaru murmured and gazed yearningly at 26th ‘Seishirou’ of the night.

Now, whether this one was actually Sakurazukamori or not Karen really had no means of knowing. Triangle built checked out; one could build a bird nest on those shoulders. Also this guy seemed to know Subaru? Maybe? Or maybe not? What Karen knew for sure is that her vision was blurring too much; mind hazy, she couldn’t think too coherently. Plus this guy really did look like a potential serial killer, she didn’t want to mess with him.

But Subaru surely did want to. His type after all.

Alas, consideration part of who she is. She had to ask - “And you are?”

“Noone you should concern yourself with”

That was only reply she got before that guy turned around and strolled away – with Subaru cuddled to his side. Karen numbly watched them roam into crowd. Good, she got rid of Subaru. She’d rather give up drinking for whole year than ever let this night make a repeat. She needs to avoid being left alone with Subaru in the future because that would be bound to get awkward. Oh well, problems for future her. For now she could go home and -

Wait wait wait – she just let wasted defenseless Subaru go with a total stranger! Stranger that’s highly likely to be feared assassin and Dragon of Earth!

Fuck, what does she say to Seals!? That she let Subaru follow his obsessive horny dream and ended up in some ditch? Damn, she fucked up big time. She let Subaru wander off with a guy that’s potentially Sakurazukamori!

Even if he wasn’t, killing Subaru in such state would be child’s play. Great, now she’ll be responsible for disappearance of one of Seals, head of Sumeragi clan to the boot. She could already envision seeing Subaru’s face in newspapers for new few months. But then again, could she be blamed really? She’d drunk as high hell herself, hence in no position to stop that guy from taking Subaru away. Not to mention, Subaru was quite content leaving with him – maybe he’ll finally get his wish for being dicked down by Sakurazukamori granted.

Or maybe not if he ends up throwing in guy’s lap. If that doesn’t get Subaru killed then Sakurazukamori must be just as head over heels for him. Because God knows Karen was tempted n numerous times tonight to challenge him to ‘chugging whole Smirnoff bottle’ potentially fatal challenge; for mutual benefit.

Still, Karen was sure of one thing: if Subaru survived they’ll both pretend this night never happened.

[elentiyawhitethorn]

The Bet | Extra POV #3

Day 27 (Rhys)

CW: panic attack

AN: The scene where they are trapped in the studio as requested by @alerialumina and seconded by @girlofrainandfire and Cassian roasting Rhys as requested by @story-scribbler :)

Masterlist//Moodboard//Timeline//2201 words

Rhys firmly knocked on the door in front of him.

A moment passed, then it swung open, revealing the breathtaking face of Feyre Archeron. The same face wearing a scowl. A scowl aimed right at him.

“Why.”

Rhys flashed a smile. “So we’ve gone back from neutral expressions to menacing scowls. And here I was thinking we were making progress.”

Feyre let out a sigh of resignation. “Why are you here, Rhys? Again?”

“I heard you saw me at the gym yesterday.”

Indeed, Cassian had mentioned that to him. Rhys thought back on it with a smirk.

Rhys set the weights down and headed toward the locker room at the back. He didn’t quite make it before someone cleared their throat.

He glanced over to find Cassian, arms crossed and leaning against the door of his office. A shit-eating grin resided on his mouth.

“Well there he is, Mr. Hot Muscles.”

Rhys squinted. “What?”

“Feyre certainly had a lovely time ogling those guns of yours.”

A blink. “Feyre was here?”

Cassian smirked. “Indeed she was. Looked over at you and ran smack into a wall.”

“She didn’t.”

“Oh, she did. I think there might be a little drool left on the paint.”

Rhys’ lips twitched. “Interesting.”

“What’s your deal with Feyre, anyway?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Cassian narrowed his eyes. “I’ve seen the way you look at her.” His voice took on a teasing quality. “Somebody has a crush.”

Rhys willed his face not to redden. “I do not.” His response sounded phony even to his own ears.

Cassian let out a low whistle. “Man, you’ve got it bad.”

“I do not,” Rhys repeated, snapping defensively.

Cassian just chuckled. “If you say so.”

Rhys glowered at the man. “I barely know her.”

“But you want to.”

He wasn’t wrong.

“Goodbye, Cassian.”

Cass just laughed as Rhys passed him.

Feyre, who didn’t know about that part of the conversation, stood still. “Thinking back on it, I suppose I might have noticed you.”

Rhys wanted to make her blush. “I heard you ran into a wall.”

“I’m a clumsy person,” she responded.

An evil smile was all he allowed himself. “If you say so.” He adjusted his stance, deciding to give Feyre a break. “Anyway, I just finished classes at the university and I was wondering if I could see some of your paintings.”

“Why would you want to do that?”

“Now, be civil, darling,” Rhys said in honeyed tones, delighting in the annoyance apparent on her face. “I haven’t seen any finished works yet and I’m curious. Please?”

A moment passed.

“Fine. You can look around. I’ll be finishing a painting in the back.”

Feyre spun around, out of sight before Rhys even made it through the door. He closed it behind himself and took a look around.

Beautiful paintings littered the room, art styles of all types. Landscapes, skies, oceans. Some were hazy. Some were precise. Some weren’t even actual objects, just brilliantly placed strokes of paint.

Rhys wished he knew more about painting techniques and styles then he did. He had a very limited knowledge on the subject, and would definitely have to ask Feyre about some of these.

Soon enough, Rhys grew restless. The paintings were captivating, but none intrigued him quite as much as the woman who’d created them.

He wandered in to the back room where Feyre had disappeared. She was washing a brush when Rhys entered.

“They all look great, Feyre. I’m not just saying it, really, you are extremely talented.”

She turned around. “Thanks.”

“My favorite is the night sky one.” It was. It reminded him of some sort of unspeakable comfort.

Feyre looked surprised. “That’s my favorite too. I have a better one like it, though, on my bedroom wall.”

“Could I see it?”

Feyre crossed her arms. “Inviting yourself into my bedroom, Rhys? How very delicate.”

He grinned and said, “I find it’s better to be direct with the ladies.” This warranted an eyeroll from Feyre. “Seriously, though, it’d be nice to see the painting. And Mor should be off from her shift by now. Maybe the three of us could get something to eat?”

“Hmm.” Feyre seemed to debate it. “Fine. Just let me get my purse.”

Rhys was delighted to hear it. He had had a worry in the pit of his gut that she would say no, but she had accepted. Not that this meant anything; Mor would probably be there. This was far from romantic. Still, it was reassuring.

Rhys went to the door and opened it.

Or rather, tried to.

Thinking it was locked, Rhys flipped the lock mechanism. He pushed again. No luck.

He flipped the lock back to where it had been and tried again. Then Rhys kicked at the bottom of the door while he turned the knob.

It was stuck. It was really, gods-damn stuck.

“Feyre?” he called.

“What, Rhys?” she responded, still in the other room.

He debated how best to phrase this. “Don’t be alarmed, but it seems the door is sticking a little.”

Her footsteps sounded, and a moment later Feyre appeared in the doorway. “What does that mean?”

He smiled reassuringly. “It means we’re stuck for a little bit. Your door opens inward. So I can’t really pull hard enough to get it open. Someone’s just going to have to come and push it open. I’ll call Mor.”

He turned back around and slipped his phone out of his pocket, then dialed.

“Rhys?”

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m with Feyre in her studio. The—”

“Why are you at her studio?” Mor interrupted.

Rhys frowned. “That doesn’t matter right now. The door’s sticking. Do you mind coming over and kicking it in for us?”

“Fine, are you two okay to wait a couple extra minutes? I just need to finish something up.”

Rhys said, “Sure. Thanks, Mor.”

“Be there soon. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.” Rhys hung up.

Then he turned back to Feyre. “Looks like it’s just the two of... darling, are you all right?” Feyre looked like a cornered animal, her hands shaking and her eyes distant.

“We’re trapped.” Her voice came out small, like she was underwater.

Rhys nervously took a step forward. “Only momentarily. Mor said she needed to finish looking at something. It should only be about fifteen minutes.”

Feyre’s breathing hitched. “I can’t... I can’t... be trapped.” She stepped back and ran into the wall. Then Feyre slid into a sitting position as tears started flowing down her face.

Rhys rushed over and got on one knee next to her. “What do you need, Feyre?” he asked quickly.

“My purse,” she gasped, breaths heaving. “Meds. In. My purse.”

Rhys didn’t allow himself to wonder what this was, or why she had meds. He just stood and reached for her purse, digging through the contents. Sunglasses, her phone, a pen, a tampon, some receipts—there it was. Right at the bottom.

Rhys grabbed the orange bottle and a water bottle from the table and rushed back to her. He opened the bottle with hands that were surprisingly unshaky as he took long strides back to Feyre.

She eagerly took the open bottle as he held her hair out of her face so she could easily down the pills and the water. As soon as Feyre was through, Rhys carefully grabbed the bottle of medication and the water bottle from her grasp and set them on a table to the side.

The last thing he wanted to do was leave her, but Rhys still made himself say, “Feyre, do you want me to give you some space?”

“No!” Feyre yelled immediately, tears running down her cheeks in full force.

Greatly relieved that he could stay, Rhys said, “Alright,” and placed a hand on Feyre’s back, not wanting to overstep, but she was having none of it. Feyre grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him toward her. Rhys complied, circling her with his arms. She sniffled onto his shirt.

Rhys held Feyre tightly, rubbing comforting circles on her back as she calmed down. He did not allow his thoughts to stray, did not want to think about why she was in therapy as well. But soon enough, Feyre answered his questions for him.

“He locked me in his room.” Feyre’s voice was weak. Rhys froze in place. “When I finally got the courage to leave, he knocked me out and locked me in his room. And when I woke up, I ran to the door. I started banging on it and screaming. And I was only there for seconds before my friend kicked it open, but still... I thought that I was going to trapped in there forever.” Feyre shivered.

Rhys wanted to find this man and hunt him down. He didn’t know the rest of the story, and frankly, he didn’t care. He just wanted justice. No, not justice. Revenge.

Feyre deserved a truth from him after that. Rhys wondered how much to tell her, then went ahead and decided to give her the general idea of the whole thing. He didn’t talk about it. Ever. At all. His friends knew, and that was enough. But for some unequivocal reason, he wanted Feyre to hear it.

“I stayed because I was scared. Scared of what she would do to my family if I tried to go. And every night she made me...” Rhys searched for the right word. “Attend to her until she was satisfied.”

Feyre sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m here now. And so are you. We’re free. We’re free.”

Feyre dissolved into tears, and Rhys held her, murmuring nothings in her ear and holding her. She clung tightly to him. And Feyre couldn’t see it, but his own face was wet as well.

—

Mor arrived and kicked open the door. And when Feyre insisted that Rhys still come have dinner with them, as if she relied on him for comfort, something warmed in his heart.

The meal passed quietly. Rhys tried to start conversation here and there, as did Mor and Feyre, but no subject really stuck. Feyre was clearly still recovering from the shock of earlier.

And then it was time to leave. Feyre said she would walk him out, which made Rhys wonder if she had something to say. There was hardly any other reason to.

But when they reached the hallway and Feyre shut the apartment door for privacy, what came out of her mouth was the last thing he had been expecting.

“Uh, I just wanted to apologize,” she said, fingers twitching nervously.

Rhys blinked. “Whatever for, darling?”

Feyre blushed and looked down. “For, well, for making you deal with... this. Me.”

Rhys’ heart throbbed for her. He knew exactly what that was like. Knew just as well as anybody.

“Don’t ever apologize for not being fine. It is more than okay to be fine.”

Feyre exhaled deeply. “Thanks. A lot. For saying that and for helping me and for holding my hand.” Feyre stepped forward and threw her arms around Rhys.

Rhys was surprised, but he didn’t hesitate to reciprocate the hug. “Of course, darling,” he murmured in her ear.

“You know, Rhys,” Feyre whispered. “You’ve been through some shit. That’s clear. And I didn’t understand how you could look so collected after it, all the time. And then I realized that you have a mask.” Rhys froze in her embrace, struck dumb by the truth of the words that no one else had ever guessed. Feyre braved on, only surprising him even more. “A mask that you wear because you don’t want anyone to know how broken you are. And it rarely slips because your mask is so much better than mine. But you just told me that’s it okay not to be fine.” Feyre pulled back and locked her gaze on his. “It’s okay not to be fine, Rhys,” she said quietly.

Feyre seemed to take his lack of response as an indicator that she should not have said what she just said, and released him entirely. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not my right—”

Rhys interrupted Feyre by gently pulling her back to him. “No. Thank you.”

He could tell from the look on Feyre’s face that words he didn’t dare to say made it through.

“That sounded quite a bit like Dr. Suriel, actually,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Feyre smiled, but he could see her mood hadn’t lightened entirely. “Goodnight, Rhys,” she said, then lifted her face and planted a soft kiss against his cheek.

Then Feyre slowly turned around and re-entered her apartment, leaving Rhys alone.

He let out a breath and lifted a hand to his cheek, delicately tracing the spot where Feyre’s lips had made contact. Any other time he would be wondering who she was to see right through him, what right she had to tear down the walls he worked so hard to keep up.

But instead, as Rhys robotically made his way home, he just kept imagining Feyre’s soft mouth, and the split-second he had gotten to know what it felt like on his skin.

———

Tag List:

@a-court-of-milkandhoney

@aelin-bitch-queen

@evolving-dreamer

@feysand-loml

@flora-shadowshine

@gracie-rosee

@infernoqueen19

@lemonade-coolattas

@live-the-fangirl-life

@midsizewitch

@morganofthewildfire

@nehemikkele

@realbookloverproblems

@rhysandswingspan

@rowanaelinn

@scatterbrainedgirl

@sleeping-and-books

@story-scribbler

@swankii-art-teacher

@thebonecarver

@whythefuckdoiexist

@yesdreamblog

[austarus]

Harrison Wells (Eobard Thawne) x Reader x Harry Wells: Six Crows - Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Precipice of Change

*A/N: This moodboard was created by my bestest friend and greatest Wells Trash Trio writer @darlingpetao3.

**Please don’t forget to comment, like, and reblog. It means a lot to content creators of all kinds!

***I’d also like to thank @grimtamlain-writes​ for being my beta reader.

****I’d like to say that this is my own fancast of Thaddeus and Jackson (Dylan O’Brien and Logan Lerman). If you have someone else in mind, then freely think of them in the fic. I do want to also say if you do not like, then do not read. I will not be changing things in my fic to appease every single person as these fics are written for me.

Harrison Wells (Eobard Thawne) x Reader x Harry Wells: Six Crows 

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 5723

A yawn broke from Thaddeus’ lips, his mind booted up as light from the sun filtered into his room, hitting his closed eyelids. The speedster blinked slowly, his body waking up. His ears perked up to the sounds of birds tweeting and leaves rustling. Oh yeah, I forgot I left the window open last night. A chill ran down his spine as the wind breezed into his room. It was a guest room that you and Thaddeus had converted to his own style. With sleepy eyes open, Thaddeus cleared his throat and felt an ache run through him. Yesterday, Jesse and himself had been going back and forth regarding the differences in their Speedforces as well as the variety of abilities a speedster can utilize. One thing that always stumped them was Zoom’s ability to cross Earth’s with a simple punch to the air rather than running to create a breach. Other speedsters weren’t able to accomplish such a feat yet… Zoom had claimed to not be fast enough to create a Speed Mirage. Thaddeus and his father can.

Craning his head to the side, Thaddeus’ clock read 10 o’clock in the morning. The speedster frowned but let it go. I never wake up this late. Jack and I are usually the first ones waking up dad or… well, berating him for sleeping in his lab again. I guess I really did need to sleep. He thought of Jackson and Harry- his second father. He missed his brother and dad terribly. Don’t worry dad, Jack, we will make things right. The smell of food wafted in the air causing the young speedster’s stomach to growl. But first, food. Need food. Crave food. Thaddeus got up, chasing the lethargy from his body to freshen up and shower before heading downstairs.

A whistle came from the kitchen along with soft classical music. Thaddeus shook his head at the music selection. He strode in to see his other dad – Eobard – working away at making breakfast. Bacon and cream cheese were set at the table along with a plate of fruits and vegetables. A small smile crossed Thaddeus’ face. Nothing processed… unless you count the times dad and dad snuck Big Belly Burger for those late nights in the labs. That memory crossed his mind: Thaddeus and Jackson were only five, but they remembered. They snuck out of bed and got caught by both fathers, instead of reprimanding them Harry and Eobard had the boys help them out in the lab. Because at six years old, the trauma of loss made the young boys hold on to every memory of their lost father then their comatose mother. Harry being the only viable parent.

“Morning, dad.”

“Good morning, Thaddeus. Sleep well?”

“Yeah, though I think I need a new pillow. My neck is killing me.”

“That can be arranged, your mom has spare new pillows in the linen closet down the hall.”

“Bet, I’ll grab one for tonight.”

Even after living with you and Eobard for two months the feeling was still foreign to Thaddeus. Waking up to see his dad alive and his mom bustling around. Eobard had been executed when Thaddeus and Jackson were six, young, yet old enough to process the feeling of loss and grief. Then Barry ambushed his family, only to fight you and then lock you away while both boys were at a young age of 12. It… felt odd to be around you and Eobard now. A good odd. A calm joy flickered around in his heart. Thaddeus wished Jackson could be here to experience the same thing. Jack. Dad. Raking a hand through his hair, Thaddeus looked around in confusion – a bit of panic settled in him.

“Where’s mom?” The speedster kept his voice even.

“She’s out.”

“Oh, doing what?”

Eobard pursed his lips for a moment, throwing the kitchen towel over his shoulder as he contemplated his next words. Thaddeus had a right to know, he’s much older now. He was not a child that you or Harry could shield anymore. The Negative Speedforce user doubted that your future self would ever allow your young twins to know about them. “She’s at the gym.”

“Mom goes to the gym???”

“Yeah, she’s been going for a while actually.” Eobard nodded a sigh leaving his lips, “When… she’s not able to sleep, she goes out to tire her body… and eventually her mind. It’s her way of letting everything pent up out. Either that or she’s training in our... supposed training room.” The dark-haired villain glanced at his son, placing the omelet on a ceramic plate. You had started to go when you needed to cope – after your recuperation and with Zoom running around. Thaddeus’ face held his question prominently so Eobard continued, “She can’t sleep on some nights – sometimes most nights – because of her nightmares.” He had seen them himself in your mind when you and he were still looking for a way into the Negative Speedforce to get his body. The amount of loss, the past depression. The almost drowning incident. And now the impending doom of a crippled future for your family. Eobard’s seen the haunted look in your eyes after having a night fit. You never talk, just have him cuddle you. He never pushed you to talk about it, you would open up in time and he would be beside you. But now, with the idea of impending loss, Eobard didn’t know what other nightmares have sprung up in your mind since Thaddeus had told you his future’s truth.

Thaddeus balled a fist under the island table; he had a pretty good guess of what those nightmares are. Everyone might be able to deal with their demons, but sometimes it was just too much to handle. His mother – one of the strongest people he’d known all 12 years of his life had only lost that smile twice. Once when his father had gotten executed and the second time when Barry had invaded Thaddeus’ home. He opened his mouth to say something, but Eobard’s phone went off. A little jingle for a text. The speed genius picked up his phone and checked the message. Raising an eyebrow, Eobard looked at his son before stepping away from the stove.

“Thaddeus, can you watch the pancakes for a moment?”

“Sure?” The speedster stepped over to man the pancakes while his father clapped a hand to his shoulder and sped away. Thaddeus flipped the pancake; it had chocolate and butterscotch chips in them. His favorite. A few seconds passed and Eobard had returned with you in his arms. You leaned up and kissed Eobard’s lips, a sweet smile on your face when you pulled away. Thaddeus grinned at his parents and flipped the pancake once more, both sides a golden-brown color. Yum.

“Thank you!” You pulled away only for Eobard to tighten his arms around your waist.

“Uh uh, there’s a service fee?”

“For what?”

“For my services.” He smirked down at you and leaned in while wiggling his eyebrows at you, causing you to giggle while trying to playfully push him away.

“A room, get a room,” Thaddeus groaned before nudging his parents to get to the table, “and good morning to you too, mom.” He placed the plate of pancakes next to the bacon.

You gave Eobard one more kiss on his pouty lips, stepping out of his arms to give Thaddeus a big and tight hug, “Good morning, sweetie.” He noted the exhaustion on your face, the slight bags under your eyes that he saw when you pulled away. “Give me 15 minutes to shower and wash up and I’ll be ready for breakfast.” A yawn left your lips at your statement.

Your fiancé stopped you when you made it to the stairs, Thaddeus fully took over on making breakfast. Eobard moved his head to whisper in your ear, a hand feeling up your butt, “These leggings really are making a statement, aren’t they? I could just eat you all up.” He nibbled on your earlobe.

“Then why don’t you?” You challenged him with a cheeky side-eye.

“Tempting, but breakfast and proper sleep are due for you. Then we can play.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” you pouted, sleep biting at your mind. You didn’t know how you were going to shower without passing out.

“Sleep is what keeps my fiancé from being pouty all day,” The speedster mused, kissing you hard before speeding you up to the bathroom. He knew you were too tired to keep yourself up, so he planned to help you.

***

“You said 15 minutes,” Thaddeus muttered as you and Eobard sat down at the table. He had reheated the food when he heard the water stop. “That was not 15 minutes.”

“In my defense,” you started, “I needed to complete my hair and face care routine.”

“Yes, because the forces above know that the multiverse will end if you don’t do things in a timely manner,” Eobard teased you, stabbing at some bacon and eating a strip.

“Oh boo, you whore,” you stuck your tongue out at him while putting some cinnamon on your honeyed bananas. “Hm, that’s weird.” You checked the time on your phone as your boys ate. “Jesse should have been here by now-”

Wind blew into the kitchen as Jesse appeared, the napkins flying off the table, “Sorry, I overslept a bit.” She tensed a bit at the sight of Eobard. Regardless of how things are now, she couldn’t help but to be wary around him. The Reverse Flash hadn’t done particularly anything against her, but her loyalties still remained with her friends in Team Flash. Even if her dad was gone because of them… The Earth-2 speedster took a seat beside her half-brother, throwing a grin his way to which he returned accompanied by a plate, and you. She scooped some fruit, pancakes, and eggs.

“So,” you broke the silence, locking your eyes onto your son, “I’ve been wanting to ask this, but it kept slipping out of my mind.” Taking a sip of water, you continued, “But, I wanted you to tell me about yourself, Thaddeus. About Jackson.”

“What do you want to know?” He poked at the strawberry on his plate, moving it into the syrup.

“Anything, I just…” I want to know that I didn’t screw up as a mom. Eobard eyed you from his periphery. “Like what did you major in, interests, and hobbies. Likes and dislikes.”

“Oh, that’s-” Thaddeus shrugged, stumbling over his words, “That’s not hard- I thought- Well, ok- I’m a Computer Scientist with three Ph.D.’s.” Eobard grinned to himself, obviously proud of his son as he finished up his plate. Jesse smirked while you ‘oo’ed. Thaddeus felt his cheeks warm slightly. “They’re in physics, math, and computer science. We lived on Earth-2.” Jesse set down her fruit and you swallowed thickly. “We moved there because it was safer. You know? Away from Barry and Iris. Uncle Cisco and Aunt Caitlin would visit once in a while, but… It got hard. Dad told Jack and I that it’s best to be there, so we grew up in Central City there.” The young speedster scratched the back of his neck, “I know four languages – well, Uncle Sherloque taught me French – but I learned German, Mandarin, and Norwegian because what else am I going to do other than learn something new and video games. I absolutely despise sour-tasting food and pickles. And I’m bi…” Thaddeus had come out to his brother first, knowing that his brother was his confidante

You and Jesse glanced at one another wickedly before Jesse popped the question. “Is there a… specific person that you’re perhaps thinking of?” She nudged his shoulder with raised eyebrows and a sly smile. Eobard rolled his eyes knowing this was going to turn into a grilling session. He just wanted whoever ends up with Thaddeus to treat him right and make him happy.

“I- you know how it is- ”A nervous stutter left Thaddeus’ lips, the blood rushing terribly to his cheeks. “He’s not- at least I don’t think he’d-”

“So, it’s a ‘he’,” you cooed, “what’s he like?”

“I- He’s…”

Eobard sent you a subtle nudge and you nodded at him then turned to Thaddeus. “It’s ok, honey, you don’t need to say anything, you know.” You winked at him. “As long as he makes you happy, your dads and I will support you no matter what.”

Thaddeus’ insides tightened at your sincere words. “Thanks, mom,” he responded gently.

“And Jackson?” Your heart ached in your chest. “W-what’s he like?”

“He mainly goes by Jack. He also has three Ph.D.’s. Physics, organic chemistry, and biomedical engineering. He can play the guitar and let me tell you,” your son chuckled to himself, “I don’t know how many girls have swooned at the mention of a guitar player. I don’t know, something about nimble fingers, I guess. Off track – sorry not sorry – but he knows French and Latin. Again, Uncle Sherloque taught us French. Sometimes he can be moody or sulky, you know like dad. He can be quiet a lot, but he’s a really good listener and problem solver.”

“I’m assuming that in the future Sherloque and the others were well?” Eobard asked, knowing that you wouldn’t dare to. He remembered the sly detective from when the speedster inhabited Nash’s mind.

“Yeah…” Thaddeus whispered, fiddling with his wrist – a nervous tick you tended to do. “Oh, I forgot. Dad, we need to upgrade your suit. The tech is a bit outdated compared to mine. Mom’s suit should get an upgrade too.” The four of you finished up breakfast, you and Eobard putting the food into smaller containers and away in the fridge. Jesse started loading up the dishwasher while Thaddeus whipped down the table.

“I think sleep is best for me,” you yawned at those words, your eyes tearing up and your mind fogging a bit. “Go on without me and tell me about it when I wake up?”

“Yeah, of course.”

You gave your son one last hug then gave one to Jesse, thanking her in whispered words for coming over to have breakfast. The Wells prodigy grinned, feeling a bit of normalcy here in this odd family setting. You headed upstairs, ready to pass out on your bed… but first, some tik toks.

“Jesse,” Eobard spoke up, clearing his throat and pushing his glasses up his nose. He didn’t need those glasses, both of them knew that. The speedster caught her attention before she ran off to her temporary living conditions. “Would you like to join us?” The Reverse Flash knew that he should try to get along with the young Earth-2 speedster, even if her loyalties in the end did lie with Team Flash, she is the elder sister to his children – the one who’s looked out for them all those years into the future. And Eobard will show her the same kindness and respect as he assumes his future self had done for the family to be together. She didn’t seem like a bad kid at all, to be honest. “Three brains can accomplish quite a lot.”

Thaddeus looked expectantly at his elder sister, beaming brightly at her. The speedster saw no ill-intent in Eobard’s eyes, instead an understanding if she were to refuse. I don’t really have anything else to do… It’s best if I kept an eye on him if possible, too…

“Sure, I’m free today so.”

***

“We’ve basically further enhanced your suit to withstand dad’s speed with carbon fiber reinforced tri-polymer material when you both fuse. That way your suit doesn’t flame up – had that happen once when I was wearing my normal clothes. Not a pretty site to see. Jack had to put me out with a bucket or two.” Thaddeus explained, presenting your suit on a mannequin while fiddling with the tablet in hand. You examined the suit, feeling the slightly textured material under your fingertips. You noticed that Eobard had added a maroon trim to the suit. “Dad modified the dual rings for your suit so it should flow out onto your body via microtechnology.” He pointed to the black rings on the mannequin, touching the sensory to let it retract into the rings and back out onto the mannequin.

You nodded, glancing at your son in awe, “Like the microtech in Barry’s suit.”

“Similar, but much more advanced with the three of us working on it. Jesse got the idea to add in extra carbon molecules into the suit as a reserve for you to use,” Thaddeus showed you the tablet, “I highly doubt it, but a situation could arise where you’re not in an area with organic molecules.” You sent Jesse a thankful smile which she returned with her own, rubbing the back of her neck as she stood off to the side.

��Pleasure to have you working with us, Jess.”

“The pleasure is all mine. These two don’t play when it comes to tech.” Jesse nudged her half-brother playfully.

“You stole the carbon fiber material, didn’t you?” You turned to Eobard with a raised eyebrow.

“More or less,” the speedster shrugged at you with pocketed hands. “The tachyon enhancer that Thaddeus brought back with him works with my speed system. Our boys made sure it would flow with Negative Tachyons that way another speedster would slow down significantly if they didn’t have my Negative Speedforce signatures. Meaning Thaddeus and I are the only ones to use it. I did, however, try to modify it to take you into account.”

“And this regards our Fusion Link?” Eobard nodded and you were tempted to ask, “It’s not going to throw me off, is it? Like… I’m not going to find myself in a random ditch, right?”

“Only one way to find out,” he gestured for the three of you to follow him. “We need to test it out on us that way we can start the necessary modifications, if necessary. Jesse and Thaddeus will be tracking our vitals.” You followed his line of sight to the speedster treadmill; he handed you the vital pads in an open palm.

“You want to do this now?”

“Now is as good of a time as any,” Eobard smirked down at you, a twinkle of intrigue in his eyes. “I’m sure you’ve seen Barry do this enough times, hm.”

You only shrugged, taking the vitals patches from him. “More times than I’d like to count, although when you reverted the timeline, Barry found himself with a Speed lab rather than just a treadmill. Jesse and Harry were the ones that confirmed it after he had come clean about what happened.”

“I mean, we can always upgrade to that. I’d give the project like… a week if the three of us work on it.” Thaddeus interjected looking at Jesse who seemed to be contemplating a speed lab from scratch. Her and Harry worked on the one on her Earth.

“While that is a wonderful idea, we’ll have to make do with what we have for the moment before drawing up schematics.” Eobard cleared his throat.

“Where are we even going to put it?” You asked with a confused look. “We literally have no room here with all your side labs.” Eobard gave you a wicked look. “No.”

“What?”

“Underground, really? Do you know how long that’s going to take?”

“I’d say a month or two?” You gave Thaddeus an incredulous look as he spoke up. “Three months if we wanna get shnazzy with it.”

“All in due time, Thaddeus,” your speedster fiancé grinned, “Head on over to the monitoring room. We’ll be ready in a bit.”

Thaddeus and Jesse left to the monitor room, setting up the software as you placed the vital pads to your temples and on top of your heart. “He really asked you to kill his mother?”

“I did.”

“…”

“Her death is a fixed time point, without it so many things would have gone in different directions.”

“Law of infinite possibility.”

“Exactly,” Eobard sighed, and you did a couple stretches. “Let me know if things seem off.”

“How will I know that?”

“I don’t know, but it’s your body – you know it more than I do.”

“Well, that’s a first,” you muttered to yourself, Eobard rolled his eyes with a playful expression – he knew exactly what you were referencing. You took a breath in as Eobard did the same, taking both your hands and planting a soft kiss on each. He then rested both hands on your shoulder when he made sure you were ready. Your eyes locked onto his, seeing the tender love in it right before he fused with you. Maroon and black electricity crackled over yourself at the successful Fusion Link. It was funny how the Negative Speedforce changed from Eobard’s fiery red color to a deep maroon accompanied by black streaks.

“I’ll be right here, my love.” Eobard whispered at the back of your mind, letting his Speedforce fully circuit through your system. Taking a breath, you placed the tachyon device on your chest. It clipped to your clothes, pinching your skin underneath slightly. A little throb settled in.

A mild discomfort, but I can work through it.

Stepping onto the treadmill, you glanced at the two on the other side of the glass window. You nodded at them before flicking on the treadmill. You took in a breath as the treadmill started up slowly. With a few walking steps you shut your eyes, reopening them to do the same as Eobard whenever he utilized the Negative Speedforce – your silhouette vibrated at a high frequency as you ran, your eyes a maroon color while maroon and black lightning streaked behind you. Thaddeus eyed your vitals; glucose levels were fine as well as your breathing rate. The discomfort came back, this time reverberating in your chest. You pushed it away – Eobard said nothing, feeling a slight pain in his essence himself. Only when the pain started to sting, escalating to the sharp cuts of knives did he voice his concerns. But you paid him no mind, you kept going. You weren’t at Eobard’s top speed level yet.  Need to keep going.

The pain continued to sear through your body. Swallowing thickly, you tried to slow down – to stop, but... One moment you were on the treadmill, running at Eobard’s max velocity – the next moment you were airborne, flying backwards. The world seemed to slow around you, the light in the room blinding you for the split moment. Jesse and Thaddeus screamed simultaneously, jumping from their seats when you had gone airborne, that spilt second had forcibly separated Eobard from yourself – breaking the fusion link as the two of you hit opposite walls with significant force. Eobard groaned at the collision, falling down as you had as well. The two speedsters ran into the room, both by your side to check on you. You hissed at the pain reverberating from your back through your body – the ache that burned like molten lava had invaded your insides. A coughing fit washed over you. Blood hacked out of your system spilling into your closed fist. Your vision hazed and the world spun. Jesse held you tightly while shuffling to Eobard, who was starting to stand up.

“Dad, are you ok?” Thaddeus helped steady his father.

“I’m fine, I’ll be fine,” Eobard patted his son on the arm before striding over to your crouched form. “Love,” he whispered as you coughed up blood again. I told you to stop… I should have stopped the fusion when I had the chance. A sigh left his lips when Jesse moved to allow him to come closer. The villainous speedster wrapped his arms around you securely, carrying you to the other room’s medical bed. You lulled your head against his solid chest, shutting your eyes to stop the dizziness. Thaddeus and Jesse followed Eobard. He placed you on the pristine linen then directed the two speedsters to start up IV fluids and begin preliminary vital tests on you. Eobard cleaned the blood from your mouth and hands. Luckily, you hadn’t gotten it on your clothes.

“What went wrong?” You asked groggily, your throat felt as if cement had been poured into you.

“I think your body rejected the Negative Tachyons,” Thaddeus held up the tablet, showing your schematics and how on the cellular level your body was rejecting the tachyons. Eobard had suspected so when he first felt the pain.

“So, now what?” Jesse questioned, “If Eobard’s the only one to use the Negative Tachyons, it means that you can’t fuse in battle. Or prior to. If your system is rejecting it, then it’s either putting to much strain on your body or it just won’t accept it because you’re not a speedster.”

You just shrugged from where you’re at, running a hand over through your hair and pushing it out the way. A migraine started forming. You needed some water and darkness.

“There might be something.” Eobard spoke up. “If we visit the Negative Speedforce it should further align the two of us together. Whether we fuse there or enter my Speedforce fused like that shouldn’t matter.” You humored him with a look. “For now, you rest. I’ll see what I can do. Thaddeus, you and I will need to go on a trip tomorrow.”

“I’m always up for a little trip.”

Eobard nodded at his son before the two speedsters left you and him in the makeshift medical room. Your speedster dimmed the lights to minimum level, handing you some water at your request. He sat next to you, holding your hand while you rested.

“Thaddeus?” Jesse pulled him off into the living room before he walked off into his room to pack.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Can you tell me what I’m like? In the future?”

“Yeah!” Jesse saw Thaddeus’ eyes light up, but his smile fell shortly. “Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“You were the one that told me to run back?”

“What?”

The dark-haired speedster looked at his sister. “You told me to run back when Jack disappeared – right after dad had. We… We were in dad’s lab talking – Jack and I wanted to break mom out. Dad said we were being rash, but… Then it happened. They were gone in less than a minute. I- and Barry was at the portal. You said you’d hold them off while I ran back.”

“Thaddeus…” The burden her brother must carry. First his dad gets executed, mom taken away, and then he watches his other dad and his brother disappear right before his eyes. She felt numb… Jesse pulled her brother into her arms tightly. He in turn did the same – secretly worried that she might go too. He didn’t want to be left alone.

“I’m sorry, I.. I needed to tell you, Jesse. I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t… Don’t be sorry. We can fix this – I’m sure, there must be some way without screwing things, right?”

“I don’t know, dad said he’d work on it. I know he will,” Thaddeus rubbed his face hard, if anyone knew how to get things done regarding these matters it was both his fathers. “How about we talk over some lines of clothing? You wanted to know about yourself in the future so…”

“You like to shop?” Jesse crossed her arms.

“Hell yeah, how else am I going to attract the guys and gals? Plus, I dress to impress myself.” Thaddeus waved a card, “Well?”

“Is that your dad’s card?”

“I won’t tell if you won’t.”

“My lips are sealed.”

***

Your eyes traced over the family picture once more, the years had worn down on Harry in that time point. Having to raise two more kids on Earth-2 while juggling your release case to an absolute Barry. It hurt your heart - stung, squeezed, crushed. Once again, Harry had been left with small beings to raise on his own. Eobard had been executed for his crimes and you were comatosed, placed under lock and key as per Barry’s wishes. You crinkled your nose in disgust at that notion. How could he have once been my friend?  Chewing on your bottom lip, you looked at your young boys in the image then to Eobard. Then again, I was the one who had betrayed his trust by following my heart. But you didn’t regret any second of it. Who once was your friend, had refused to see Eobard as anything else other than a monster. A killer. But the world isn’t just black and white – it’s just easier for Barry to categorize you and Eobard with that mentality while applying gray areas to himself and other situations. One thing was for certain though, future Barry saw Thaddeus as a threat. He was afraid of a child.

“What’s on your mind?” Eobard sat next to you on the bed in your shared bedroom, eyeing the picture in your hand. You picked it up every so often - lost in your thoughts. Thaddeus was passed out in his room and Jesse had returned to her temporary housing in Keystone.

“Hm?”

“You stare off like that when something’s on your mind,” Eobard explained, handing you your glass of wine.

“You know me too well.”

“And I take great pride in that,” He chuckled at you while you took a sip or two. The alcohol burned slightly at the back of your throat. It wasn’t unwelcomed. “I was just thinking. How… How did we make things work? The three of us?” Eobard pressed his lips into a thin line. He could only draw up a few conclusions. You had a point; the three of you together was a significant life transition. He would be sharing you as would Harry. “You and Harry are the most stubborn men I’ve ever met, if anything I think all you would do would butt heads.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong, but…”

“But?”

“Maybe, those two bundles were the reason we came together. That or… Harry and I put our differences aside for you.” Eobard took a swig of his bourbon. “I wouldn’t be surprised. You doubt your ability and influence over us.”

“What does that mean?”

“When I was in Nash’s mind, all Harry and the other two wanted was for you to be safe. They worried that I’d come back to hurt you – obviously that was false. He, himself, had confronted me – threatened me regarding you. I’m saying it’s possible that your ability to love the both of us had us come together and reconcile. Thaddeus, by how he spoke of us in the future, made it sound like Harry and I had become close brothers. It’s odd in a way.”

“Harry didn’t say anything to me – but then again, he did always have trouble articulating his feelings.”

“Well, there you go. I’m sure we can make things work out again.”

“Won’t be easy, knowing you two.”

“I never said I wouldn’t give Harry a hard time.”

You rolled your eyes at his wolfish grin as he pecked your lips. “There’s another thing.”

“Hm…”

“Thaddeus and Jack. I… the trauma the’ve been subjected to, because of Barry and this stupid Speedster Association, if I might add.” Your fingers ran over the lining of the cup. “Have you noticed the signs?”

“The signs?”

“I think Thaddeus has anxiety, Eo. Just like me. Zoning out completely at times, fiddling with his hands, the slight panic in his eyes when one of us are absent to his knowledge. I know everyone shows different forms of anxiety – we’re all different human beings. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jack was the same, but…”

A lump formed in your throat. The speedster set his alcohol down on the side table, taking your glass and doing the same. The villain gently held your hands, running his thumbs over your knuckles Eobard’s icy blue eyes pulled you in like a riptide, “We’ll get him back, I’ll do what I can. For the both of them”

“How? Have you worked out something?”

“I… have a theoretical idea.”

“And that is..?”

“There’s a chance that we can bring Harry back, which will bring Jackson back down the line. We need Harrison’s cooperation.” Your heart stopped in your chest at his words. “If we extract some of his Timeless essence that’s been given to him, presumably by The Monitor. We should be able to bring back Harry – I can develop the technology with Jesse since she’s from Earth-2. She vibrates at a higher frequency so we can match hers to the one we find. Also, she’s got a stronger pull to him so she can call out to him from wherever he’s residing in eternity. I’m still trying to work out all the possible details before telling Jesse and Thaddeus.”

“What about HR? And Nash and Sherloque?”

“I… I can only give my conjecture, but this technique could have complications arise.”

“Meaning death?”

“Not exactly, but hypothetically the extraction could cause a strain on Harrison’s body the more Wells we bring back.”

“…” You pursed your lips.

“Harry’s our main shot.”

Yes, but… I can’t just leave HR and Sherloque and Nash… They’re all Thaddeus and Jack’s uncles. The only other family members left for the boys and Jesse.

Your eyes left his, looking down to your lap. Eobard saw the hesitation. “You don’t want to see him, do you?”

“Your assumption couldn’t be far from the truth.” You sighed to yourself. “Can you blame me? I couldn’t just forgive him from running away. Is this the only way?”

“It’s the only thing I could come up with.”

You swallowed the bile down your throat. “I guess we’re giving the good ol’ doctor a visit, huh.”

***

“I’m sorry, Mr. Thawne. Your mother has suffered a ruptured aortic aneurysm during her imprisonment.” Thaddeus froze Gideon’s news. It had woken him up in the middle of the night. 2 am, to be precise. He couldn’t believe his ears, the tears building up in his eyes. His heart shattered as his insides shook. A ringing sounded in his ears. Water fell from his eyes, hitting his forearm.

“What?” His voice cracked at the news; the disbelief evident in his tone.

“Your mother is dead.”

[matchamorphosis]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 | ღ | 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 || what seems to be a normal rich summer morning with the women who lives across the honeysuckle boulevard from his cottage lies something else. a buttery rich feeling that spreads deep within Bucky’s heart as he takes his neighbor, alongside Alpine to the farmers market for coffee.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 || fluffy fluff! ➳ part one

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 || retired!bucky barnes × neighbor![black//woc]reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 || 3K ➳ 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 || @firefly-graphics

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || if you think long walks with bucky and alpine in the sunny countryside are warnings then so be it but there is lots of food mentioned. ღ also reader owns a flower shop, not a warning thought just some info!

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 || this version of cherry wine by hozier ღ this version of mystery of love by sufjan stevens ღ

𝐰. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 || eeeeep!!! so this is my first bucky with alpine fluff and i’m very glad to have it be the first for my fluffy mini series that i’m doing for this month! ღ I don’t describe reader too much throughout the story but what is clear is that I don’t specify on skin tone but yes the person in the moodboard is a woc! ღ anyways I hope you cherubs enjoy reading! ღ

+ p.s || do not repost, republish or plagiarize my work on any other fanfic platform such as: wattpad, ao3, tumblr, etc or steal my work all together. do so and i will rip your spine from your scumy asshole and shove it down your talentless throat. ♡♡♡  

it was a lavish affair when Bucky found himself tangled with you in the bed of a million perennial petals.

clothing falling and bodies twisting themselves against each other in not lust but emotional apprehension. the soft petals of rose, carnation and violet keep pouring like blissful rain, entangling in his hair and in the crooks of your body.

enough to suffocate but enough to make him feel enveloped in the fantasy- the divination of you you you and only you.

for you are butterscotch benevolence that he will let pool like ambrosial nectar in the cavernous hollows of his collarbones. your tears of seventh heaven euphoria trickling onto his skin forming constellations- like the paint speckles on the forlonged artists canvas of his naked soul.

you are honey sunlight oozing from the basin of the candy floss sky, lacing with the shedding petals that continue to powder in their divine scent and morality. his fine pink sheets soft and silky as the rose petals of Heliogabalus, he’d sigh in heavenly pleasure to be buried alive in petals if she was drunk of the love he has for her.

he sees her playing, singing, dancing and bringing her virtuous spring song deep within the glossy shine of her honey hive eyes. love seeping in the melancholy streams leaking through the old creeky floorboards of his home and straight into the chambers of his heart.

so promising yet so grandeur as he feels his chest warm with her very touch, the ivory bow encased in the virtuous flowers of her emblem garden in his hands- he’d think that he was Cupid but oh how he’s been struck by his own arrow in great surprise. straight into the once extravagant chamber of his heart.

the spiraling golden arrow destined to pierce and rip through the tender muscle of breast to the beating vessel that writes a tragic tale of eternal ravishment in the movements of lyrical beats. muttering with languor-glazed lips, he’d keep her love like a an old locket against his chest for it’s what reminds him of home whenever he feels the cold element on his skin.

there are pieces of you scattered in the wonderous arteries of his heart.

nestled in the folds of the beating muscle, take heed.

for that is his home.

y/n is his perennial feelings left unsaid, exquisite pain yet ethereal serenity. his soft bed of roses and his deadly golden arrow, all meant to give his heart hope.

that he was- however it seems the bed of roses and all the lovely elements it holds have come to a staggering pause.

now as the sun hits the past super soldiers eyelids that dream of flower petals and the heavenly vision of you disappear. they flutter open to meet the single stream of sunlight that has slipped past the slit of the sheer bedroom curtains. brightening up the somewhat clustered space of the room with its single golden string.

Bucky sighs in defeat, this is the fifth dream he’s had of you in a month and he was barely pushing past the second week of May. before he didn’t mind the dreams, they calmed his mind while he layed in slumber during the thunderstorms of April but now they were resilient. it wasn’t no regular thing to dream about the women across the boulevard in the haven of flower fields and maple trees.

Bucky knew this but he couldn’t help but not treat these dreams sweetly. they were the definition of sweet torture, you never hurt him in those dreams as he did to himself but it was a pain to know that you probably don’t think of him the same way. for goodness sake ever since he and Alpine moved the only interactions he had with the maiden were just acknowledgments as they passed each other on their daily errands.

he shouldn't be this infatuated with someone who he's only met.

the soft hum of a purr finally awakens Bucky, his cats paw brushing against the half covered skin of his fleshed bicep. it takes a pat or two to make Bucky open his eyes to find Alpines blue hues staring back at his and he gives his furry friend a crooked smile. a chorus of meows welcoming him to another sunny morning in the peaceful and harmonious countryside.

“morning pal, ya slept well?” Bucky smiles as he lazily lifts his hand to scratch the right spot behind Alpines ear.

stretching out of bed till his feet touch the cool wood flooring, following the simple path from the bedroom to the kitchen he pours Alpine his dish of cream and gets started on his own breakfast. whisking hen eggs his neighbors from afar gifted him the day before and toasting the freshly baked loaves of bread he bought specially from the market yesterday.

Bucky normally didn’t take any gifts from anyone, he wasn’t that type of person to feel comfortable with those sort of things but as the days gone by the cheerfulness of the communities welcoming energy towards him has soften his doubt.

eating his simple breakfast paired with coffee, Bucky bites into his buttery egg toast whilst quickly scribbling down his to-do list for the day. of course there isn’t any tasks that the hundred and ten year old man has to get done but there were things that Bucky did look forward to ever since he settled in a month ago. the country was a lovely peacefulness he had forgotten about ever since he was a boy.

traveling to his grandparents farm away from the city for memorable childhood summers in the sun and fields. turning his head to meet the white linen sheets that draped over the kitchen panels, Bucky can see the herd of brown and black spotted cows from the distance. tapping the pencil against the shiny polish of the kitchen table he bites his lip on what else to add on.

his head lifts up to see through the other window that casts its lovely light against his paper. blue eyes meeting the toffee cobblestone path that led to her cottage, hidden amongst the shrubbery of acorn trees and flower budded bushes. hearing from lots of locals in the cobblestone village near the sparkling sea that she owns a little orchard of peach and cherry trees, a few strawberry patches amongst the vegetation.

it made sense why he sometimes finds a large wooden basket of those ruby fruits at his doorstep from time to time. a card inviting him over for some tea that he would agree to yet he would always call you the next day a stuttering mess canceling it over some important errands. nonetheless it made Bucky's heart swell how understanding you were, sweet just like the ripe fruits you pluck for him on Sundays.

Bucky would make copplers and sometimes pies out of them and if he wasn't so scared of the possibility of being too attracted to you he'd head over to your place so he and him would eat them in your gazebo. but of course he can't do everything his heart implores him to do. was it bad to want to get to know you and imagine what it would be like to befriend you?

maybe do lots more than just befriend you...

sometimes he would find a glimpse of your form in the distance as he headed for the lake neat the lavender fields up north to fish something for dinner. humming while you cared for your flowers, singing to them as you danced along the vintage radio. Bucky could see himself singing and dancing alongside you. caring for your precious tulips, primroses and other beautiful flowers that you sold.

those pretty flowers sweet and divine just as her lips and voice when the two first met, when he arrived in the too expensive car that stood out amongst the scenery. arms occupied with bouquets upon bouquets of trimmed flowers that practically shielded her face, his body ran straight into yours when he got out of his car. flower petals falling with the impact and him apologizing one thing led to another and he helped her with her bouquets all while being stricken when he got a clear look at her.

a clear look at you.

lovely in your sundress that flowed beautifully against your bodies soft planes, there was something about the sparkle in your eyes that made him start to stutter. something about you that made his heart bloom in a recherché flower he still can’t understand because he can still hear the velvety tone of your voice speaking your own name when giving each other’s your introduction.

from there on out a glowing ember of clustered stars burned in the pit of his belly when you spoke his name and he spoke yours. it was soft and innocent as the flowers in your arms but the introduction was cut off far too short for Bucky's liking but he promised you a coffee when he was completely settled in. having to do something so he could see you again cause oh how he wishes to hear you speak his name again and again and again till the flowers sprout, bloom and decay with each coming season.

maybe he should pay you a visit and bring up that coffee...

the music from the radio filling the bright cottage kitchen sweetly alongside the birds singing their song outside. Alpine takes his seat across from him, yawning over the new day that brings nothing but lazy laps and baked fish treats. forking a few honey drizzled raspberries in his mouth, Bucky walks to the front door and just in time the daily paper plops down on his feet from the passing paper boy whipping through the grassy roads on the shiny steel of a ringing bicycle.

bending down to retrieve the newspaper, he passes through the sidewalk of petunias and violets till he reaches his mailbox. the wood creaky and the metal rusty but the daisies that sprinted around the opening was a pretty site to see before Bucky grimaced at people from the outside world wanting to invade his privacy. grabbing the letters before smelling the sweet daisies, Bucky looks through the letters one by one. ripping some that had no use for to be used as fire food for his fireplace, grunting that even though he’s away from the tabloids and cameras there are still people eager enough to want something from him.

a soft voice from the distance pulls him out of his annoyance, it makes his eyes lift from his dreaded mail to the women a mile away singing her song as she reaches her mailbox. Bucky can’t help but look at her from afar; and maybe Alpine knows this to as he watch his lovesick owner admire the maiden from the kitchen windowsill.

with some obscene fortune he notices you checking your mailbox as well. heart pacing in his chest, he wishes he didn’t go outside before showering and at least brushing his hair for your waving to him from the distance.

“hello hello Bucky!” your sweet voice exclaims and it just adds onto the heaven that is the morning it makes his cheek hurt from how much he’s smiling.

“hello hello to you y/n. how is the shop coming along?” Bucky shouts and his heart sinks when you wave him over to you.

despite his mind telling him to not pursue closer his heart makes him walk his way to you standing next to your Valentine shaped mailbox. his worries slipping away when there's a underlying comfort in your posture and aura, alluring like the bees are to the flowers. welcoming and warm and he can't help but feel that way every time he's near you.

speaking of you, its reassuring to also know he wasn't the only one to wear pajama's out since your still in your blue silk nightgown. matching silk slippers adorning your feet, you sip from your tea cup as you read what he believes to be a Cosmopolitan.

“it’s coming along great, thank you! a bit slow the first week but that’s how any business starts but I just received my tenth loyal customer and i’m more than certain i’ll be selling lots of flowers today.” you spoke as you smiled to yourself then up at him.

checking your mail, Bucky’s surprised that you have quite a handful of letters and boxes. all written in lovely cursive and packaged nicely, almost like love letters and gifts. it makes Bucky’s heat sink, knowing that he might not be the only one who’s fallen head over heels for you. by all means you probably have the whole village under a spell with just the way you smile alone but he wants to see that smile the most.

he wants to be the reason for that smile.

“that’s sounds wonderful y/n, maybe I could stop by and pick a pretty bouquet or two," you only smile wider upon those words and much to his excitement you even brush your hand against his.

"oh really? have a special someone in your life who needs some loving?" you perk as you open an envelop but the question makes Bucky's throat dry on how he should answer.

you seem like the type of maiden who loves an honest man- yes, he should be honest.

"well... there is this one special lady." Bucky lingers and that makes you snap your attention away from the letters in your hands. voice dying in your throat at those words and heart beat hitting pause.

"I always thought Alpine was gonna be the only one to get to my soft spot- we sleep in the same bed together," he stops to laugh a bit, rubbing the back of neck with his metal arm and you laugh along with him.

"how is Alpine? i'm noticing he's getting into a routine with sleeping in my chamomile beds in the afternoon," you smile and bring your tiny tea cup to your lips. "would you care for a cup Bucky? this just so happens to be chamomile,"

"Alpine is doing good and thank you for bringing that up I was beginning to wonder where that rascal has been leaving for. will have an important talk to him once I get home and- I was going to ask you something," Bucky speaks while admiring how your thick lashes curtain your honey hive hues as you sip the steaming golden liquid.

no one should look that beautiful just drinking tea yet here he is, breathless on the simple action. if he truly wanted a cup he'd wish to drink from your tiny cup, to press his lips upon the porcelain rim where yours once brushed against. drink the sweet sunshine to experience the closest thing to your honey kiss...

"don't worry it's alright! I love looking over at him when I have tea at the back patio, he's quite a lovely guest. very well mannered, and yes Bucky is there anything I can help you with?" you cannot deny that your heart is practically skipping beats in your chest, fast and lively like the flutter of a butterfly wing.

Bucky runs his fingers through his hair, for someone who has done the simple thing of asking someone out for couple hundreds of times a hundred years ago from now it’s a disappointment that he’s lost his touch. however you don’t seem to notice or care but that doesn't mean he should give up. not when you're right here glowing in your morning dew radiance, anticipating the next words to slip past those lips.

it's now or never.

"h-how do you feel about that coffee I promised? today? I have a few errands to run in town and I was wondering if you would accompany me- on my errands... if that doesn't bother you,” Bucky rambles to a stop and he's thankful you're still smiling that closed lip grin against the porcelain of the cup.

"yes Bucky I would love that! there's a coffee cart near the shop I work at but what about your lady? she wouldn't mind us going out for coffee, would she?" you speak as you gather your letters in your arms. glancing up at Bucky to receive some conformation and Bucky bites his lips.

"I don't think she'll mind. in fact... I think she would love me to go out once in a while. I have a habit of only going out when necessary, coffee with you wouldn't hurt,"

"that's perfect, i'll see you at twelve then Bucky. you can help me open shop to," you smiled and Bucky returned an even warmer one back.

filling your heart with a rush of liason, like a tea cup filling with tea. something meant to be full and warm, embraced with someone's touch and lips as they drank each fluttering honey glazed sensation they have for one other.

something that seems to be happening right now before they break their strong eye contact, wiry- crooked smiles still embellishing their sun-freckled faces.

you wish you could kisses each one off his clean shaven cheeks right now, slightly rosy but oh how it would feel like peach skin against your lips.

Bucky wishes to kiss yours, the shine of your lips the form of heart shaped clouds and he just can't seem to get his head out of the amorous blue you cast him into.

"i'll be seeing you in an hour Bucky," you draw before walking away with a cheeky wink, your eyes still locking with his before you get to the rosy sunflower porch.

"and i'll be waiting for you doll,"

♡♡♡ thank you for reading part one! ♡♡♡ pretty please like, reblog and/or comment what you think and if you enjoy this join my taglist to be notified of my future works! ♡♡♡

𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || @cloudystevie ღ @steebsbabygirl ღ @honeychicana ღ @afriendlyblackhottie ღ @chrissquares ღ @denisemarieangelina ღ @hevans-angel ღ @drewsbuzz​ ღ @assoftheamericana ღ @gracechristo ღ @little-baby-vixen ღ @sohoseb ღ @quxxnxfhxll ღ @peachesofcolour ღ @abschaffer1 ღ @sea040561 ღ @afriicanhoe ღ ღ ღ

𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || @burninmatches ღ @lovesguiltypleasuress ღღღ

[peterrparrkerr]

Moodboard for the series (don't judge me I usually do gifs, this was something new. Also, I could not get the collar to look right)

So I meant to upload this yesterday but I lost control of it and then got busy, so here's a little over 3k for you!

Also, tagging @snowstark because this is our baby. Ao3 version here!

Idk what to tag this. Dark themes, spanking, forced to choose a punishment, uuuh, not sure what else. Enjoy!

*-*

Bucky knows when Peter is going to have a hard time adjusting to Tony being gone. It had been close to a year since Bucky started working for Tony, and he's gotten familiar with all of Peter's little quirks.

And he knows the slight pout Peter sports as he waits beside Bucky for Tony to come to the door, means Peter's going to be a slight handful.

But Bucky can handle the teenager. He's been in charge of Peter's safety for long enough. Aside from Tony, Bucky knows how to get Peter to do as he's told.

Tony comes down the stairs, suit tailored and travel bag in hand. "What a sight," he grins. "My pets waiting for me."

Bucky clenches his jaw at that, but he doesnt say anything. Peter though, steps up to the Superior nuzzling into Tony's chest.

"Don't go," Peter whined. Bucky watched with a familiar jealous rock in his gut, but he stays still.

"I'll be back in five days," Tony sighed, kissing the top of Peter's curly hair.

Peter's in a pair of soft blue jean shorts and a faded Yankees sweater, the bottom cut off to show off his midriff.

Tony pushes Peter back a little and smiles fondly down at him, fingers fixing the collar around his puppy's neck, little bell tinkling.

"You be good," Tony orders, leaning down to kiss Peter's pouty lips.

Peter sulks as Tony steps away, towards the door and closer to Bucky.

"I'll be back late," Tony hums, patting Bucky on the cheek. "I'll see you both when I get back."

And with that, Tony's gone. Bucky rubs at his cheek with a slight scowl. Its a new thing, Tony touching him. And Bucky doesn't like it.

Peter spins on his heels the moment the door is shut and storms off, making Bucky sigh explosively before making his way after him.

Alpine slows him down by weaving between his legs, meowing needily.

"Damn cat, go away," he snaps, nearly kicking the thing before remembering she's Peter's.

The door to Peter and Tony's bedroom slams and Bucky sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

So it's going to be like this then. Bucky decides to let Peter wallow on his own. Sooner or later his emotions would get the best of him and he'd come out for comfort. Bucky wouldn't force him to before then.

Its the same song and dance. Peter cries when Tony's gone, he doesn't eat much, and just kind of sulks around the house.

If he were a real puppy, Bucky could just imagine him crying at the door with his tail tucked between his legs, looking extra pathetic.

It was during these days when Tony wasn't around that Peter got a little less obedient.

Most incidents Bucky kept to himself. Little scenes of Peter acting out of his emotions. Tony didn't need to be informed of everything.

The bigger incidences though was definitely taken to Tony. They hadn't had an incident in a while -not since Peter ran out and Bucky got shot.

Peter had been terrified after that, refused to leave the tower even with Buck and Tony there with him.

Tony had punished him good and hard for that -it still makes Bucky's stomach roll at the thought of Tony hitting Peter. Bucky still remembers how small he looked when Tony had guided him back into the penthouse.

His eyes all red, tear tracks down blushed cheeks. He had been trembling slightly. It had made Bucky sick to his stomach.

But Peter hadnt done it again. When Tony left, Peter stayed put.

"Peter, time to eat," Bucky called after knocking on the bedroom door. Peter had been locked in there for most of the two days so far Tony's been gone.

He sulks under his covers, and when he does come out, its with a pout. Something Bucky is used to.

"M'not hungry," comes Peter's petulant response through the door.

"Yes you are, pup," Bucky sighed. "Come on, out with you before I come in there."

"Said I wasn't hungry," Peter spoke, voice raising a little. Bucky cocks an eyebrow, then tries the handle of the door. Its locked.

"Peter, open this door."

"No," Peter said.

"You open this door or I'll kick it down," Bucky threatened. Peter's never locked his door before.

"Do it!" Peter snapped. "Then Tony'll be mad at you and send you to the basement!"

"Oh for fuck's sake," Bucky muttered under his breath.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, override the lock for Peter's door," he says, looking up at the ceiling.

"I am sorry, but the lock is manual, it will have to be unlocked by Peter, Mr. Barnes."

Bucky growls, clenching his teeth.

"Open the door, Peter," he tries again.

"No."

"C'mon, pup, open up," Bucky sighed. He really didn't want to break down the door. What has gotten into Peter? He's never like this.

"Nuh-uh," Peter said. "Leave me alone."

"You know I can't do that, Pete," Bucky huffed.

"I don't need a babysitter," Peter called out. "I can take care of myself. Tony doesn't need you anymore."

"You've got five seconds and then I'm breaking the door down," Bucky said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Peter says nothing. Bucky begins to count. He thinks Peter will crack when he reaches two, but the boy doesn't make a sound.

"Alright, last chance."

Nothing.

Bucky tries the handle once more before stepping back. He lowers his shoulder, ready to drive it into the wood before slamming into the door.

The frame splinters and the door slams into the wall with a deafening crack.

Peter jumps from his spot on the bed, eyes wide and mouth gaping in shock.

"What is going on with you, Peter?" Bucky demands, a little fed up with his behavior. "You've never acted like this before."

Peter's shock falls away to anger, eyebrows furrowing and arms crossing.

"Get out."

"No, you need to tell me why you're acting like a brat," Bucky demanded, crossing his own arms.

"M'not a brat," Peter snipped, little bell sounding as Peter turned his head away from Bucky, glaring at the wall.

"No? 'Cause you seem pretty bratty to me," Bucky challenged.

That gets Peter standing from the bed. "I'm not!"

"I'm not going to fight with a fucking child," Bucky muttered to himself. "Go into the dining room and eat your lunch."

Peter sets his jaw. Its cute. Little thing trying to be tough.

"I said I'm not hungry."

"Well, Tony wants you to eat," Bucky tries. Usually talking about what Tony wants would get Peter to do as he's told. But it doesn't work today.

So Bucky grabs Peter by the upper arm and pulls him out of the room. Peter grunts, digging his heels in, but he's small and doesn't have much muscle.

"Eat," Bucky demands, gesturing to the food he sits Peter down in front of.

Peter glares up at him, though its not as effective as he thinks with his pastel blue tshirt and matching collar.

"I hate you," Peter bites out.

"Good for you, now eat your God damn lunch before I force feed you."

To say the next three days is difficult is an understatement. Bucky has no idea why Peter's acting out the way he is, but he's had enough.

On the fourth day, Bucky actually swatted him! Peter looked up at him with wide eyes, mouth clicking shut. Bucky instantly felt sick, but he forced himself to stand his ground even as hurt and anger filtered through Peter's features.

"You hit me," Peter said. It made Bucky feel even worse, but he didnt back down.

"You're being bad," Bucky said. More anger filtered in, and Peter reached forward to try and shove him.

Bucky caught him by the wrists and Peter yelled loudly, beginning to flail.

"Peter, stop it!" Bucky snapped, pulling the pup in close and pinning him against his chest. He doesn't have room to thrash now.

"I hate you! I hate you!" Peter yelled. Bucky can hear the beginnings of tears in his voice. "I don't want you here! I want- I want Tony!"

Bucky holds Peter as he chokes on his tears, forcing Bucky to carry his weight when Peter stops holding himself up.

Bucky let's him cry it out, walking him to his bedroom. The door still wasn't fixed -Bucky didn't have time, what with Peter acting out.

He deposited Peter onto the bed. "You can come out when you're done being a brat," Bucky said shortly. Peter just fell to his side, wrapping his arms around a pillow and drawing up his legs.

Bucky walked out and flopped onto the couch, leaning his head back and staring up at the ceiling.

Maybe Tony would know what Peter's problem was. Just because he's never acted like this since Bucky moved in doesn't mean its never happened before.

Bucky's never been more glad when Tony arrives the next morning. He's exhausted. Tony -the perceptive bastard- notices right away when Bucky greets him at the elevator.

"What happened," Tony demanded. Bucky let out a sigh, shoulders slumping just a bit. He didnt like feeling like a whiner, and explaining to Tony what the past five days have been like definitely makes him feel it.

"I don't know whats gotten into him," he finishes with. He just wants to sleep for a couple days. He's never felt more like a babysitter than he does now.

"Oh, I do," Tony huffed. Bucky raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "He's jealous."

That throws Bucky for a loop. "Jealous? Of what?" He can't help but demand incredulously.

Tony smiles knowingly and lifts his hand, brushing his fingers over Bucky's jaw, pinching his chin and giving a little shake.

"Of you, pet," Tony hums, looking amused. "He's used to getting my full attention. I think he's feeling a bit misplaced."

Bucky lifts his head, pulling his chin free from Tony's grasp and taking a small step back.

"He's got no reason to be jealous of me," Bucky grunted.

"No?" Tony asked. "Lets go see our puppy then, hmm?"

Bucky frowns as Tony walks past him into the penthouse. Our puppy?

He quickly spins on his heels and follows after Tony. Theres a disapproved hum when Tony notices the door leaning against the door.

"Tony!"

Peter scrambles from the bed, rushing over to Tony and crashing into his chest. Bucky keeps his distance, hands clasped behind his back.

"I missed you."

"I'm sure," Tony hummed. "Bucky told me about your behavior while I was gone."

Bucky winces in sympathy at the tone Tony uses with Peter. The pup steps back from him, brows furrowing.

"I-"

"I don't want any excuses," Tony interrupted. Bucky watched as Peter's demeanor shifted. He knew he was in trouble, he could see it in the way Peter's shoulders slumped.

"Go wait for me in your room," Tony continued. "And when we're gone, we're going to have a talk."

"But, Tony‐" Peter began. Tony grabs him by the arm and yanks him towards the elevator that leads to the basement.

"Go," he snaps, features twisting into a look of anger. Bucky holds his ground, but he wants to rush back out of Tony's line of fire.

Peter shrinks at the tone. He doesn't try again, just makes his way to the elevator, like a dog scurrying out of trouble with his tail between his legs.

"Are you really going to punish him?" Bucky asked, following Tony towards the elevator Peter had just disappeared through. "If he's just acting out of jealousy-"

"His acting out got me a broken door and a puppy with an attitude problem," Tony said. "I brought you here to take care of him while I'm away. His behavior hindered that and that won't do."

Bucky follows Tony into the elevator. He doesn't say anything, just stands beside Tony, watching the floors pass in glowing numbers above the doors.

When they reach the basement floor, the doors open and Tony steps out, already heading for the door that leads to Peter's room.

"Come on, pet," Tony calls over his shoulder. Bucky's legs work without him, taking him out of the elevator and into the main room.

"I'm not a pet," Bucky grunted. Tony glances over his shoulder, smirking. His blue eyes shining with amusement.

"I beg to differ," Tony hummed, before reaching a hand out and clasping Bucky by the back of the neck.

Bucky allows the Superior to pull him closer as they make their way to the door.

Buck decides not to argue the issue. Better to keep on Tony's good side.

Tony opens the door, and Bucky's eyes widen at the sight of Peter on the bed, naked. Hes on his elbows and knees, pert little ass up in the air.

He's hidden his face in his arms, and doesn't realize Bucky is here with Tony.

"He does paint a pretty picture, doesn't he?" Tony murmurs lowly, arm still wrapped around Bucky's shoulders, nosing at Bucky's jaw.

"I can leave," Bucky says lowly, glancing from Peter to Tony.

"No, I want you here," Tony decides, shutting the door. Bucky chews on his inner cheek, staying close to the door as Tony walks over to the wall of -Bucky feels his stomach drop. He doesn't know if he can watch this.

"M'sorry," Peter whines, turning his head to see Tony at the wall.

"I know you are," Tony said, looking over the items hanging on the wall. Bucky's never seen so many switches and floggers before.

"But that doesn't change the fact that you were a bad puppy."

Peter's breath hitches and he hides his face again. Bucky watches Tony pick out a flat leather paddle from the wall. One of the less intimidating items hanging on the wall.

"How many hits do you think he deserves?" Tony says, catching both Peter and Bucky off guard. Peter's head turns, wide eyes locking onto him before he seems to shrink, hiding his face away again, but not leaving the position Tony most likely trained him to be in.

It takes Bucky a moment to realize Tony was talking to him, and he blinks, looking over at the Superior. "What?"

"You had to deal with his poor behavior for five days, so you decide his punishment," Tony said.

Bucky looks wide eyed at Peter, pale and naked except for the baby blue collar around his neck. He shakes his head.

"Come on, pet," Tony goads. "What does he deserve?"

Bucky hears Peter whimper at that and he feels his skin crawl. He shakes his head again, feeling sick. "I can't."

Tony's mouth drops in a frown, looking disappointed. Bucky doesn't care. He can't.

"Fine," he hums. "Then fifty hits."

Peter lifts his head, breath hitching and tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Ten for each day."

Bucky feels his throat closing up.

"N-no," Peter sobbed. "No, please, Tony!"

Tony looks at Bucky, challenging glint in his Extremis blue eyes. "Bucky doesn't want to choose, so I'm chosing for him, puppy."

Peter turns to look at Bucky, pleasing with a trembling breath.

Bucky digs his nails into his palms. He looks from Peter to Tony, then back to Peter.

If Bucky chooses a lower number, Tony may not agree to it. But Bucky doesn't want Peter being hit -especially in front of him.

"Twenty," he manages to say, unsticking his throat. His voice is tense, body rigid and hands clasped behind him. Outwardly, he looks calm and collected, but inside he wants to do nothing but run out of the basement.

Tony doesn't say anything for a moment, and Bucky's sure its just as long for Peter as it is for him.

"Alright, twenty it is," Tony agrees. Bucky feels the muscles in his shoulders unwind a little at that.

"Count them out, pup."

Its the worst few minutes of Bucky's life. He served tours over seas. He's killed people with his bear hands and lost an arm, and he'd go through all of that ten times if it meant he didn't have to be in the same room as Tony and Peter right now.

Each smack has Bucky's pulse spiking, each sobbed out count down like agony. Its a punishment all its own to be forced to stand by while Peter cries, the loud smack of leather on skin filling the room.

The worst thing is Bucky is the reason he's got twenty spanks in the first place. Sure, its less than fifty, but he's still the one who offered a number.

Bucky doesn't even care anymore about Peter's behavior. He just wants Tony to stop.

Peter's ass is just as red as his face, and his breath hitches on cries, but the boy doesn't move. Bucky has no doubt if he had, the punishment would be far worse.

"Twen-twen'y," Peter finally gasps out wetly, dropping onto the bed.

Bucky restrains himself from rushing over there and scooping the boy up. His nails dig painfully into his palms.

He watches Tony do it instead. Watches as Tony's hand turns soft, scooping Peter up and settling him onto his lap, careful of his poor bottom.

Tony smooths Peter's curls from his forehead, muttering lowly against Peter's cheek as the boy cries, arms lifting to wrap around Tony's shoulders.

Tony glances up at Bucky and nods. "Come here, pet."

Bucky's too concerned with Peter to argue the pet name. He makes his way over to the bed in three long strides and sits down beside Tony and Peter.

Peter peeks out from Tony's neck, eye red rimmed. His breath hitches.

"M'sorry, Bucky," he cries, voice reedy and wobbling with tears.

"Thats alright, Pete," Bucky said softly.

Peter tucks himself back into Tony's neck, allowing the Superior to smooth his hands up and down Peter's bare back.

"Go with with Bucky, pup," Tony says a moment later, once Peter's tears have tapered off a little. Bucky's eyes widen at that, but he can't do much else, because Peter's crawling out of Tony's lap and settling into his own.

Bucky doesn't know what to do. He's wearing cargo pants, and he can't help but worry they're too rough for Peter.

And then he's stuck on the fact that he's got a very naked Peter in his lap. The boy leans into Bucky's chest, head resting on his shoulder.

Bucky settles a hand on Peter's lower back -as low as he dares- and rubs circles into his skin.

"I think its time we had a little talk," Tony said, looking first at Peter, then at Bucky.

[sfb123]

Sapere Aude - Part 15

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

If you’re new to Sapere Aude, please click the link above to start from the beginning. There’s so much going on right now that you’ll be way too confused to start from this point. Plus, there are some major bombshells that won’t be as fun if you read this and get a bunch of spoilers.

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: PG-13 Adult language, discussions of death, conspiracy, blackmail, and other adult themes.

Trigger Warning: A brief moment of physical abuse.

Warning: The Royal Heir Book 3 Spoilers all over the place.

Disclaimer: I have no current affiliation with any other Via Imperii themed stories. Any claims that I have pre-read anything are false.

Word Count: 3,435

A/N: Guys, we’re really in the home stretch now, we’re slowly but surely getting some resolutions. I finished this up the other day, and am already halfway through the next chapter. I’m hoping to have the series completely written by the end of the weekend or early next week. I have some really exciting and unexpected things coming, and I can’t wait to share them with you!

Thank you, as always, to the amazing, @phoenixrising308​ (<--- my fandom soulmate, you may know her as @jessiembruno​, follow her new account so you don’t miss a second of her incredible work) & @txemrn. And to @twinkleallnight for my lovely moodboard!

Tags: Listed below, hit me up to be added or removed.

Liam’s eyes fluttered open, his wife slowly coming into focus in front of him. She was already awake, and smiled at him as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Morning.” She greeted him softly.

“Hi.” He placed a hand on her cheek and leaned in, leaving a lingering kiss on her lips. 

“Do you want to talk? Drake texted me, he got Eleanor out of bed, so we have some time.” Liam silently nodded his head. Riley removed his hand from her cheek and kissed his palm before sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. 

Liam rolled onto his back, stretching his arms over his head with a groan before sitting up next to Riley, taking her hand in his. “And I thought our wedding was an eventful day.” He chuckled lightly. 

“Liam, real talk.” Riley replied, combing the fingers of her free hand through his hair.

“I...I feel like I got some closure. I needed that moment. When it was just you telling me that she was alive, it was easy to ignore, or pretend it wasn’t real. But with her standing in front of me, I had to face the truth, face what she did to me. And now she truly knows how much she hurt me. I can move on now, and truly put her in the past.”

Riley smiled at him. “That’s great, I’m so proud of you. I also noticed that you told Thomas you still wanted a relationship with him?”

“He holds no responsibility for what happened, he was born into a life that he had no control over.” Liam’s expression became more pensive as he spoke about Thomas. 

“And you understand the feeling, so you’re cutting him some slack.”

Liam nodded. “Sort of, we were both born with certain responsibilities and expectations, I can understand his feelings of obligation. As much as I missed out by losing my mother, and him, he lost out on even more. He was supposed to be a prince, he is a prince, and he’s lived as a commoner his whole life. We both missed out on so much by not having each other, like we should have. I can’t get that time back, but I can try to make up for it moving forward.”

“You’re amazing Liam, you know that right?” Riley looked at him adoringly. 

He brought his hand to her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “You may have mentioned it once or twice before.” He leaned in and kissed her. “You know, I didn’t get a chance to properly show you how happy I am to have you home and safe.” He kissed her again, this time pulling her into his lap. 

She giggled as his lips began working their way down her neck. “Liam, we don’t have time right now. I’m sure everyone is waiting for us. Rain check?” 

Liam lifted his head and placed his forehead against hers. “You promise?” He kissed her softly on the nose.

“Have I ever let you down in that department?”

“Never.” He kissed her deeply, running his hands down her back until they rested on the curves of her ass.

“Good, then let’s go.” She kissed him one last time before getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Once they were ready, they headed downstairs and headed to the smaller dining room. Eleanor noticed them immediately and charged at her mother. “Mommy!”

Riley lifted her daughter into her arms and held her close for a moment before pulling away and giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Hey baby girl, were you a good hostess to our guests while mommy and daddy were away?”

“Yes mommy, the best hostess!” As Riley brushed some hair out of Eleanor’s face, Eleanor noticed the marks on Riley’s wrist where she had been bound the day before. “You have a boo-boo mommy.” 

“I know baby, I do.” She held her wrist out so Eleanor could look at it. 

“I can fix it.” Eleanor grabbed Riley’s hand and brought her wrist to her lips, kissing the marks with a loud smacking sound. “There you go mommy, all better now.” She smiled at her mother proudly. 

Liam looked on, quickly swallowing the lump that formed in his throat at the sight. In that moment, it hit him again that not only would he have lost his wife, the best thing that had ever happened to him, but Eleanor would have lost her mother. He quickly shook off the thought, everyone was safe, and they were about to take steps to eliminate their greatest threat.

“Thank you Eleanor, it feels so much better.” Riley gave her one last hug before putting her back down. “Why don’t you go see Miss Gladys, she’ll take you into the kitchen to get something to eat. We need to have a grown up breakfast.”

Eleanor nodded and ran out of the room in search of Gladys. Riley and Liam approached the table as their friends stood to greet them. “Sit down weirdos, this isn’t a royal function, this is breakfast with friends.” Riley waived them off as everyone sat at the table. It was silent for a moment, nobody quite sure how to break the silence. “So I guess we should start by addressing the elephant in the room. Neville and Mara kidnapped me yesterday. Before you start with me; I’m fine, Neville has been arrested, Mara is dead.”

“Good riddance.” Olivia interrupted. The group laughed at her comment, breaking some of the tension in the room. 

Their friends listened with bated breath as Riley and Liam recalled the events from the day before. Riley told them about the kidnapping, and everything that transpired between her and Neville. She told them how Eleanor had come to her rescue, Liam tensing slightly, as this was the first time he had heard that part of the story. She went on to explain that Liam had come face to face with Eleanor, and how proud she was of him for confronting her and lifting that huge weight of his chest. 

Liam picked up the story from there, explaining that he said what he needed to say to get the closure he needed with his mother, and that he wanted to try to build some kind of a relationship with Thomas. He still wasn’t sure what that relationship would look like, but he was excited to find out. 

“So where do we go from here?” Maxwell asked, once the group had been fully caught up. 

“Well, we need to squash the Auvernal thing once and for all, and I think there’s only one way to do that.” Riley said. It was something she had been thinking about since the meeting where revisiting the alliance came up. “We’re going to have to release the information we got when we destroyed the alliance the first time. The only way we are going to put an end to this is to tell the world that the twins are not blood heirs to the throne.”

“But what if this group tries to spin it, or screw with the records?” Drake asked. Nobody was quite sure how to answer that, but it was a legitimate concern. 

“We out the Via Imperii. If they’re a secret society, announcing that they were behind the kidnapping of our Queen, and were trying to push forward a marriage alliance with heirs that do not have true birthright to the throne will knock them off their high horse.” Olivia stated. 

“But how do we know they know?”

Riley tapped her fingers against the table, thinking for a moment before chiming in. “We don’t Max, that’s fair. But they probably do, they seem to know just about everything else. Even if they don’t, they’re not going to hold their own press conference to contradict us. It kind of goes against their whole being a secret thing.”

“Very well, I will make sure to get a press conference scheduled in the coming days to make the announcements.” Liam chimed in. “I will also set up an emergency council meeting to inform them of our decision, and also move things forward with Neville.” 

“What are you going to do to him? Can I be the executioner?” The excitement in Drake’s voice made Riley and Maxwell giggle, while Olivia rolled her eyes.

Liam chuckled lightly before responding. “I have thoroughly thought out his punishment, we will review it in the council meeting tomorrow.” He cleared his throat before moving on to the next open item. “Finally, I have promised Thomas and his mother that the crown would protect them for their assistance in saving Riley. Nobody knows about Thomas’s connection to the crown, or my family, so he will not need to remain in hiding. However, he is going to be a target of the Via Imperii, so he will no longer be able to guard my family. I do have a position in mind for him, I would like him to work with Bastien and I to completely overhaul the guard program.”

“It’s about damn time.” Olivia scoffed. 

“I agree, Olivia. Regrettably, I have let the current program go far too long, and it almost cost my wife her life.” He reached over, taking Riley’s hand in his, offering an apologetic smile. “We absolutely cannot let another Mara slip through the cracks. With his intimate knowledge of the Via Imperii, I feel that he would be a great asset.” He paused as the room nodded in agreement. “As for his mother, she was a notable figure in Cordonia for many years, so she will need to remain in hiding. We will need to set her up in a safe house with a team of guards.”

Olivia cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. “I can house her in Lythikos.” All heads snapped in her direction, and she sat a little taller in her seat to overcompensate for the discomfort she felt in that moment. “When I was a child, she showed me a kindness I had never known at a time when I needed it most. Liam, I respect your decision not to reconnect with her because of what she did to you, I hope you can respect my decision to want to help her because of what she did for me.” 

Liam nodded. “Absolutely Olivia, as long as she and I do not cross paths, I will put her in your care.” 

“Ok, so we have all the work stuff out of the way. There’s a plan, nobody is in any immediate danger. Can we please relax and have a nice breakfast and enjoy what’s left of our getaway weekend?” Maxwell asked dramatically. 

“Amen to that.” Riley replied, pulling her napkin from the table and placing it in her lap. The group dug into their food, the mood much lighter than it had been when Liam and Riley arrived.

The next day Liam walked out of the state room. He had just adjourned the emergency meeting of the Royal Council to discuss everything that had been uncovered during their trip to Valtoria. He rushed to catch Drake, who had slipped out while Liam was still shaking hands and saying his goodbyes to the other council members. “Drake, hold on a moment.” 

Drake stopped walking and turned to face his friend. “Hey Li, what’s up? I was just going to head home.”

“I was actually hoping you could help me out with something. I’m heading down to the cells to personally deliver the news to Neville.”

Drake’s lips curled up into a devious smile. “And you want me to be there to see it all go down? Liam, I’m speechless. It’s not even my birthday.”

Liam chuckled and patted his friend on the shoulder. “Well, it’s not just for you to bask in his misery, I need your assistance.” His expression turned serious before he continued. “Drake, after what he did to Riley, I don’t trust myself alone with him. I need you to be there to pull me off in case I go too far.”

“Li, you know I’m always there for you for anything you need, but do you really think I’m the best person to stop someone from hurting Neville? Honestly, I can’t even guarantee that I won’t jump in and throw a couple of punches myself.”

“Then we will bring Bastien along as well, but I would really appreciate it if I had you by my side for this.”

Drake nodded, and the two of them headed for the cells with Bastien in tow. When they arrived, Bastien took Neville from his cell and put him in one of the interrogation rooms. They waited before entering, giving him time to sit alone with his thoughts. Once Liam felt he had waited long enough he looked to Drake and the two entered the room together. Drake stepped back into the corner as Liam approached Neville, who was sitting at a table, but stood immediately upon the King’s entry. 

“Ah, so you are capable of showing respect to your betters. I had heard otherwise.” Liam took a seat, signaling for Neville to do the same. 

Neville scoffed. “Your majesty, I always have. Your queen just doesn’t happen to be one of them.”

“Oops, wrong answer.” Drake chimed in from the back corner. 

Liam shot up from his seat. He charged at Neville on the other side of the table, lifting him by the front of his shirt and holding his gaze. “How dare you speak of your queen, my wife, that way.”

“Liam, why don’t you give him the good news, before you beat the shit out of him? That way he’ll be able to fully appreciate it. I know I will.” At Drake’s words, Liam released Neville who shot an angry glance in Drake’s direction. Drake winked at him. 

“Of course Drake, thank you for keeping me on task.” Liam straightened his jacket and returned to his place at the table, sliding a folder across it to Neville. “Neville, you have officially been stripped of all of your titles and lands. This paperwork will provide you with the specifics, but as of about an hour ago, you are no longer a noble.”

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped, shocked at the new development. “You mean I am a…” He trailed off, unable to utter the word. 

“You’re a commoner, just like me!” Drake cheerily finished Neville’s sentence for him. 

Liam raised a hand to silence his friend. He was enjoying this just as much as Drake was, but as King he did need to keep an heir of levelheadedness about him. “You will also be tried with treason for kidnapping Queen Riley. Your trial will begin next week, and I don’t think you need me to tell you, but I will. It is not looking promising for you Mr. Vancoeur.” 

Neville crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes. “Wonderful, just let me know when the execution is to take place.”

“Oh Neville.” Liam laughed as he stood, once again walking to the other side of the table. “Do you really think you are going to be let off that easily?” Neville cocked an eyebrow as Liam got in his face, his demeanor calmer than before. “I have final say in all sentencing, and for you I have something in mind that will make you pray for death. You will be spending the remainder of your days in your cell, eating food that doesn't even register on the Michelin guide, knowing that you have no status, no pull. The life you once knew, a distant memory as you sit here for decades to come. That is the worst possible punishment I am able to bestow as your King.” Neville leaned back and audibly gulped. “As far as the punishment I am able to bestow as a husband…” Liam squared his shoulders and brought his fist back before thrusting it forward, making hard and fast contact with Neville’s jaw, knocking him out of his chair and onto the floor. As he laid there holding his face, Liam approached once more, this time kicking Neville swiftly in the ribs. “How dare you lay a hand on my wife.” He crouched down on the ground, lifting Neville by his shirt. “Please know that there is more I would like to do to you, but you are not worth any more of my time. Just remember that my American commoner wife will be up there enjoying every luxury in the world, as she deserves, while you rot away down here dreaming of the life you once had.” 

Liam landed one last punch to Neville’s face before letting go of his shirt and watching his head hit the ground. He then slumped over, breathing heavily as the adrenaline began to wear off. Drake approached him and patted him on the shoulder lightly. “C’mon buddy, let’s get out of here. You got what you came for.” 

Liam nodded silently as his friend helped him to his feet. Drake draped an arm around Liam’s shoulder and walked with him out of the room. He looked at Bastien, who had been waiting at the door and signaled for him to return Neville to his cell. Bastien gave Drake a curt nod and retreated to the interrogation room as Drake and Liam made their way back to the main area of the palace.

When they reached the foyer, Drake stopped Liam before he reached the steps. “Hey, are you okay? Do you want to go to your office for a drink or something?”

Liam brushed him off. “I’m fine Drake, I’m just going to head up to my quarters and relax with my family.” He extended his hand to Drake. “Thank you for coming with me today.”

“Of course man. Any time, any place. You know that.” Drake shook his hand and pulled him into a hug, clapping him on the back before pulling away. “I’m going to call you later to check in.”

Liam gave him a small smile before turning and heading up the stairs towards his chambers. Upon entering, he was greeted by an empty living room. “Riley?” He called out.

“Bedroom.” He heard her faint reply from the hallway and followed the sound of her voice. 

He entered the room as she was exiting her walk-in closet holding multiple hangers. “I mean honestly, I love my life and how much you spoil me, but do I really need this many black dresses?” She let out an exasperated sigh before looking up and noticing Liam. “What happened? What’s wrong?” She dropped the dresses she was holding and rushed up to him.

“I just got back from the cells.”

“Liam Rys, what did you do?” Riley placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. 

“He’s fine, the medics will bandage him up. I’m sure losing his title hurt him much more than I did.” He grabbed her hands off of her hips and brought them to his lips. “He hurt you, Riley. He tried to take you away from me. I know he’s going to be punished for what he did, but it won’t ever be enough.”

Riley lifted his hand, examining it. It was red, bruises already beginning to form at the knuckles. She kissed each knuckle softly. “Come on, let’s ice it before it gets too bad.” She held onto his hand, leading him into the kitchen. “Sit.” she pointed to the kitchen table. 

Hey obeyed, sitting at the table as she went to the freezer, pulling out an ice pack and wrapping it in a dish towel. She joined him at the table, sitting on his lap, and taking his injured hand in hers once more. She pressed the ice pack to his knuckles, he hissed slightly at the feeling. She pressed her lips to his in a lingering kiss as she continued to hold the ice to his hand. “To distract you from the pain.” She said with a wink as she pulled away.

“You have always been my favorite distraction.” He brought his free hand to her face, pulling her into a deeper kiss. “When is Eleanor due back?”

“Mmm..a little over an hour.” She cooed.

“Perfect, that will be more than enough time.” 

“For what?” 

“For me to cash in my rain check from yesterday.” Liam removed his hand from under the ice pack and lifted Riley bridal style to the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind them.

Permatag:

@anjanettexcordonia​ @athena-penrose​ @bbrandy2002​ @chemist-ana​ @choicesficwriterscreations @choiceskatie​ @cordonia-gothqueen​ @cordoniaqueensworld​ @emkay512​ @gabesmommie1130​ @gkittylove99​ @hopelessromanticmonie​ @iaminlovewithtrr​ @kat-tia801​ @khoicesbyk​ @kingliam2019​ @lucy-268​ @marshmallowsaremyfavorite​ @mile9213​ @mom2000aggie​ @nestledonthaveone​ @phoenixrising308​ @pixie88​ @queen-arabella-of-cordonia​ @queenrileyrose​ @secretaryunpaid​ @sweatyrysconnoisseur​ @tessa-liam​ @theroyalheirshadowhunter​ @twinkleallnight​ @txemrn​

Sapere Aude:

@burnsoslow​ @busywoman​ @gardeningourmet​ @ofpixelsandscribbles​ @tinkie1973​

Liam x Riley:

@jared2612​

Liam:

@amandablink​ @ao719​ @yourmajesty09​

[flightlessangelwings]

Work of Art ~ Chapter 2/2

Marcus Pike x tattooed!fem!reader

Chapter 2/2

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: fluff, Marcus being the best boyfriend, reader’s boss is an asshole, attempted kidnapping, reader is a badass, hurt/comfort, happy ending

Notes: This part focuses less on the tattoos and has more drama because it’s me lol. Thank you to @we-can-be-himbos​ for beta reading as always! Moodboard made by me

~

The sun hit your face as you stirred from your sleep. Marcus’ bed was soft and warm and you didn’t want to get up, but when you realized he wasn’t there you figured it was time to. It had been a few months since the first night you came to his place, and things couldn’t be better. Marcus was better than anyone you ever dated before, and always went out of his way to make you feel special. You quickly felt a strong connection to him for sure, and he felt the same about you.

Dates with Marcus Pike were always an adventure, even if it was just out to dinner. He loved to take you to museums and art shows. Of course he took you by his work to show you off too. He even went with you once while you got a new tattoo. You had even convinced him to get a small one of his own. The longer you dated him, the more nights you spent at his place; not that either of you had any complaints about that.

With a yawn and a stretch you rolled out of his bed and slipped on an oversized t-shirt that barely tickled your thighs. You stepped outside the bedroom and into the living/dining space where Marcus was focused on the stove in front of him. His back was turned so he didn’t see you yet. You saw that he only wore a pair of grey sweatpants and the sight in front of you made your mouth water.

Marcus must either have felt your gaze on him or heard you walk in because as you stepped closer, he turned around to face you. He let go of the handle of the pan where he worked on breakfast for you both and his eyes roamed all over your figure. You felt yourself heat up at the way he looked at you, especially how his eyes zeroed in on your bare legs.

It was no secret that Marcus Pike loved your tattoos. He always spent plenty of time tracing his fingers along the ink patterns in your skin and he always kissed all over the artwork that adorned your body. Marcus was especially fond of the ones on your thighs and hips, since he was the one that saw them more than anyone else.

“Morning,” his voice was still rough from sleep as he broke the silence in the room. Marcus didn’t hesitate to close the gap between your bodies and wrap his arms around you as he placed a series of soft kisses on your skin.

You giggled as you leaned into his touch, “Marcus don’t forget about the pan there,” you said between kisses.

He blindly reached behind him until he felt the knob and shut the stove off. Marcus was too focused on you to care if he burned the food. “You’re a better breakfast anway,” his voice was low as he groaned into your skin. Still, you felt the grin on his lips as he pressed them against you.

“Marcus!” you couldn’t help but laugh at his cheesy line.

He responded with a heated kiss on your lips as he backed you up against the kitchen counter. With his arms around your waist, Marcus leaned his body into yours now that the counter supported your weight. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders to pull him in as close as you could as you wrapped one of your legs around his thigh.

You kissed each other sloppily but passionately, and you both quickly got lost in each other’s lips. Marcus kept one hand firmly on your hip while the other trailed down your side and ran over your bare thigh. He stroked the skin of your thigh a few times before he ran his hand up and gave your ass a firm squeeze. The feeling of his large hand on your skin made you sigh into his mouth, and you felt Marcus grin against your lips. The two of you were content to stay like that, or even go back into the bedroom, but the sound of your phone interrupted.

“Ignore it,” you spoke against his lips as you pulled Marcus back in for another kiss. You moaned into his mouth as you rocked your hips against his and you felt the rumble of his low groan against your chest.

But when your phone rang again, Marcus broke away with a disappointed look on his face, “Maybe you should answer it.”

With a sigh, you decided to see who it was since it was unusual for someone to call you so much. Your face turned into a scowl when you saw it was your boss, Rodderick. “Hey Rod,” you put on your fake voice and used the nickname he hated just to annoy him.

“I need you to come in today,” he sounded irritated, but he usually did with you so it was hard to tell the difference. He had no real reason to dislike you, yet for some reason he always gave you a hard time. You did your job very well, and you even got promoted to head concierge in the years you worked there. At least the owners of the hotel liked you even if the manager didn’t.

“Rodderick, you know this is my day off. I can’t,” you dropped your voice as you didn’t bother to hide your annoyance.

Marcus watched your face with a frown as you went back and forth with your boss a few times before you hung up the phone. “Are you going in?”

“No way,” your face brightened up when you met his eyes, “This is our one day off together this week, I’m not giving that up,” you wrapped your arms around him again and kissed him softly. Kisses with Marcus Pike were always just what you needed, and you craved them all the time.

Marcus held you close again as he leaned into your kiss, just as addicted to you as you were to him. But, in the back of his mind, something still bothered him, “You know, I could put in a good word for a job around the office for you,” he suggested tentatively when he broke away, “I hate seeing you deal with him.”

From day one, Marcus hated the way your boss treated you. He noticed it right away, and though he tried to do what he could to help, there wasn’t much he could do for you. Marcus had offered to help you find another job before, but you always turned him down. You told him that it was hard for you to leave that place after having been there for so long, and you finally got the promotion you tried for and you didn’t want to leave so soon after getting it. Marcus understood, but always kept an eye on you regardless. There was something about Rodderick that gave him a bad feeling.

“It’s fine,” you couldn’t help the way your heart flipped in your chest at his concern for you, “Don’t worry about me.”

Marcus looked at you with a light in his eyes as he cupped your face, “I always worry baby.” 

The two of you stayed still for some time as you just looked into each other’s eyes. You clung to his shoulders as if you would fall over if you let go. The tension in the air became palpable, and there was a thought on both your minds that hung in the air between you. Marcus rubbed his thumb over your cheek a few times and you leaned into his touch. The adoration in his eyes as he looked at you made you melt and you felt like you could cry from the rush of emotions that ran through you.

“I love you,” Marcus confessed bluntly.

Your eyes went wide as you gasped.

“I know we haven’t been together long, and I’ve been told I move too fast before,” he felt the need to explain himself as he rambled on when you stayed silent, “But what I feel for you…” he said your name, “Baby I can’t help it. I’ve fallen for you. And it’s ok if you can’t say it back yet but I…”

“I love you too, Marcus,” you cut him off in a hushed whisper as you tightened your grip on him. Marcus had told you about his past relationships, and you quickly wondered why anyone would let his man go. But it was their loss, and you found yourself lucky that he chose you to be with now. You were determined to succeed where the others failed, and you knew from the first night that you spent with him that you didn’t want to be with anyone else.

This time, it was Marcus’ turn to be stunned into silence, and he just stared into your face with an open mouth. But he soon recovered and swept you up into his arms again and kissed you like your lives depended on it. You giggled into the kiss as you let yourself get swept away by this wonderful man that you fell in love with.

“So how about we enjoy our day off then?” 

*

The next day, you found that you didn’t want to go into work. You would rather just spend another day alone with Marcus, but life dictated that you both needed to go into work. You both made plans for a weekend getaway soon, so you had that to look forward to at least. And even though you dreaded facing Rodderick after your phone conversation the previous day, nothing could bring your spirits down.

You stepped into the lobby in your work uniform and a big grin on your face. You quickly got yourself set up for the day and greeted your coworkers. It was another quiet day, not too many check ins or check outs on the schedule. This was the slower season for your hotel anyway, so it wasn’t anything to be concerned about. But your mood was brought down when Rodderick called your name from his office.

With a sigh, you made sure the others were alright on their own before you headed into the office, “Everything ok, boss?” you decided not to push his buttons today. You were in a good mood, and you didn’t want to argue with him right now.

He sat at his desk and held his head in his hands, “I don’t ask for much from you,” he sighed, “And yet I’m constantly disappointed.”

So this was how it was going to be, “Rodderick, yesterday was my only day off this week. I do my job well, the owner likes me, I never call out…”

“Yeah, well I still shouldn’t have hired you,” he cut you off, “You and the disgusting way you mutilate your body with those tattoos,” you swallowed hard and tensed your body but stayed silent, “I’m surprised your FBI boyfriend can stand to look at you naked.”

“Ok that’s crossing a line,” you spat back, “My personal life is none of your business, and you better stop there before I go to HR and tell them what you said.”

That shut him up and he dismissed you. So much for your good mood.

*

The rest of the morning was uneventful, and Rodderick avoided you for the most part. You were more than ok with that though, and you wondered what would happen if you told Marcus what he said. You knew your boyfriend would be angry and insist you quit your job. You also didn’t want him to worry so much about you and put himself on the line for you. His own job was stressful enough without having to worry about yours.

But as you kept an eye on your boss’s behavior throughout the day, you noticed that he was acting strange. Truthfully, his behavior had been off ever since the theft and he definitely was shorter with you since then. But the past week or so he seemed to look over his shoulder more and had more meetings with men that gave you the creeps. 

You had a strange feeling something was up with him.

So, when he stepped out of his office for a meeting, you slipped in to see what you could find out. His desk was a mess, but that was nothing new. Quietly, you thumbed through the papers until you found something odd. Near the bottom was the contact information of the man who was arrested for stealing the painting from the lobby months ago. 

You furrowed your brows and looked at the computer screens, where the security camera footage was displayed on one. On the other monitor, you clicked through a few things until you found the footage from the night of the theft, and you found that the footage was tampered with. And it looked like Rodderick was messing with more recent footage as well, as if he was trying to figure out how to edit the timeline.

Something felt off, and you quickly pulled out your phone and took pictures of everything you could before you set everything as close to where it was before you messed with it. Hopefully it would be good enough that Rodderick wouldn’t notice that you went through his things. 

You slipped out of his office just in time and as you took the first few steps out, your boss came around the corner from the concerference room. He gave you a questioning look, but you didn’t say anything and went back to your computer. As soon as Rodderick went into his office, you pulled your phone out and sent the photos to Marcus. Surprisingly, he replied almost immediately with a text that said “call me.”

With an excuse that you needed a restroom break, you slipped away again and locked yourself in the bathroom at the far end of the hall to put some distance between you and Rodderick. As soon as the door was locked, you called your boyfriend’s number and he picked up after the first ring.

“Is everything ok? How did you find this?” Marcus couldn’t hide the worry in his voice. He knew right away what the pictures you sent meant, and immediately his first concern was for your safety.

“Yeah I’m ok,” your heart pounded with nerves, “I don’t know, Rodderick was acting weird, so when he went to meet with this electrician I snuck into his office and found that. It’s odd, Marcus, even for him,” you tried to keep your voice down in case your boss tried to spy on you.

Marcus didn’t want to say anything to you until he was sure, but the investigation into the theft at your job was not closed. They caught the guy who did it, but there were too many unanswered questions. Even after the agents interviewed him, they still had more questions than answers. But your photos made everything click in his head.

“Listen to me,” he tried to keep his voice calm for your sake, “We’ve been investigating and we think your boss had something to do with the robbery,” he heard you gasp but he kept going, “But we didn’t have concrete proof until now,” he quickly explained that Rodderick had gotten himself into debt with some shady people and tried to hire the thief to steal the art piece to pay it off. And with what you found, all the pieces fit. But now that meant you were involved, and it was the last thing Marcus wanted.

He continued, “I’m coming to you with a small team. I want you to stay away from Rodderick until I get there ok?” Marcus’ voice was serious and you heard the slight tremble in it that told you he was worried. He knew you couldn’t stay hidden in the bathroom, so the next best thing was to act as if everything was fine until he got there, “I’ll be there soon, baby.”

“Ok,” was all you should whisper back, “I love you Marcus,” you added in a hushed voice.

“I love you too,” Marcus replied back with your name before he hung up.

Your hands trembled from nerves, but you had to keep yourself level until he could get there. You knew he would be as fast as he could, so you just had to pretend everything was ok until then. Just before you unlocked the bathroom door, though, you grabbed your phone again and turned on the recording function before you slipped it into your pocket. You weren’t sure why, but a voice in your head told you to do it, so you did. 

With a deep breath, you flicked the lock. Everything will be ok, you told yourself.

But the momentary calm soon vanished when you were met with Rodderick’s face right as you opened the bathroom door. You jumped with a gasp before you collected yourself again.

“Rodderick! I didn’t see you there,” you tried to play off your nerves as you moved to go back to your desk.

However, he didn’t let you and he grabbed onto your arm before you took more than two steps. “Let’s talk,” his voice was low and threatening and immediately the nerves took hold of you again.

“I need to get back…”

“They’re fine without you,” he insisted, “You and I need to have a little chat,” Rodderick pulled you down the hall and used his master key to open an empty guest room and pushed you inside. He stayed in the doorway to block your exit as he ushered you into the room.

“Something wrong?” you asked as you played dumb and hoped that he wasn’t suspicious of you. Although you knew that was a fleeting possibility from the rage in his eyes.

“Why were you in my office?”

“I uhh…needed some paperwork,” you tried to come up with a convincing lie.

He paused for a moment, “Then why were your hands empty when you left?” 

You took a deep breath, “Couldn’t find it.”

“What about your bathroom phone call?” his eyes bore into you and you suddenly felt so helpless.

“That’s personal,” was all you said.

For some reason, Rodderick’s face twisted into a smile, “You’re a terrible liar. You think you’d do better dating a FBI agent and all,” he paced and you remained silent as you waited for an opportunity to bolt, “Your love life really complicated things for me, you know that,” suddenly his tone was pointed again as he stopped, “I know you figured something out. You’re smarter than I give you credit for, I'll give you that.”

Still, you said nothing.

“Can’t really frame someone who is fucking an FBI agent,” his confession caught you off guard and for the first time you showed a reaction. Rodderick grinned darkly, “I needed the money. I got myself in with some people I shouldn’t have. And because I don’t like you I was going to rig it so you took the fall. Two birds one stone thing. But you can’t frame someone when they’re with a fed all the time.”

“So you were behind the theft?” your voice was weak but you tried to keep yourself strong.

“I knew you figured it out. You acted funny ever since I caught you leaving my office.”

When Rodderick lunged for you, you ducked and ran towards the door. You only hoped that your phone picked up his words as you moved as fast as you could towards the lobby. You heard your boss shout your name behind you, and you ran as fast as you could. He couldn’t dare hurt you while on the premises, but he could easily force you into his car and take you somewhere where he could possibly do something.

Luckily for you, just as you reached the lobby, Marcus and his team burst through the front door with weapons in their hands. He spotted you immediately and extended one arm out to you where you ran right into him. Marcus held you tight against him with one arm while the other pointed his gun at Rodderick, who hadn’t noticed the team yet.

A chorus of, “Freeze, FBI!” rang through the lobby as several agents pointed their weapons at your boss. 

Immediately he froze and put his hands up in surrender. But before the agents were able to cuff him, he lunged for you one last time with a “You bitch!” 

Marcus quickly pushed you behind him so he could shield you with his body and his team was able to restrain Rodderick in no time. From behind Marcus, you shook with adrenaline as you clung to his jacket. It wasn’t until the rest of the team took your now former boss outside that you finally let yourself exhale.

“Hey,” Marcus turned around and spoke your name in a gentle voice, “You alright?” He wrapped one arm around you and placed his other hand on your face to inspect your expression. When you were quiet, he said your name again and the look in your eyes nearly destroyed him. He had never seen you look that afraid before and he never wanted to see you look like that again. 

“I’m ok,” your voice was weak, “Shaken, but ok,” you tried to chuckle, but it fell flat.

“I got you baby,” he wrapped both arms around you this time and held you tight against him, “You’re safe,” Marcus kissed the top of your head, “I’m sorry baby, I should have told you. I should have gotten here sooner.”

That was when you realized that Marcus Pike was just as scared as you were. He hid it better than you did, but you heard the way his voice shook and you felt the way he trembled. He really did love you, more than anything. And his fear for your safety proved it in that moment.

“I’m ok Marcus,” you repeated in a stronger voice, “Can we just get out of here?”

“Anything you want, baby.”

It broke protocol for sure, but Marcus didn’t care. All he cared about was you, so he took you back to his place and made sure you knew you were safe. He was quiet at first, but you knew he was going to ask about what happened, so you recounted the whole experience for him. The whole time, Marcus held you close and kept his gun closeby just in case. Whether it was for your peace of mind or his, neither of you were completely sure.

A few days went by until you were able to get back to your normal self, and Marcus barely left your side the entire time. He worked on the paperwork and followed up on the case from home where he could keep an eye on you. He also made sure that your work was aware you would be out for some time. Marcus sat at his computer with files all over his desk while you were in the shower. He was happy you got back to a somewhat normal routine fairly quickly, and you attributed that to his watchful gaze. Being around him definitely helped you feel safe again.

“Marcus,” you voice cut through his thoughts and he looked up to see you in the doorway in a tank top and sweatpants. You looked better today, like the life finally returned to your eyes and for that, Marcus was grateful.

He stood right away and crossed the room to you, “Everything ok, baby?”

You smiled warmly, the first genuine smile in days, “I’m fine.”

“Come, sit,” he guided you to the couch where he sat you both down and pulled you onto his chest. The sound and feel of his heartbeat was a comfort that helped you enormously in the past few days. Not to mention his warm, safe embrace and his sweet words that he always spoke in your ear as you fell asleep.

“I think I’m ready to go back to work,” you told him as you felt his hand run up and down your body. Your own hands played with the bunched fabric of his shirt as you spoke.

“You sure?” Marcus didn’t want you to push yourself, and he would be there for you for whatever you needed. True, you weren’t in as bad a situation as you could have been, but any situation where you were in the slightest bit of danger was too much for Marcus. But you were strong, he knew that. He also knew that you wouldn’t want to stay cooped up in his place forever. 

“I’m sure,” the certainty was clear in your voice.

“Is there any way I can convince you to work at my office?” Marcus was only half joking, “I can put you in another department if you’d rather so it’s not weird for you,” when you were quiet he added, “I just want you safe, baby.”

You were quiet for some time as you thought it over, “I know,” you finally spoke in a whisper, “But I guess I have a knack for investigating though, so it doesn’t sound like it would be terrible…”

Marcus shifted you both so you sat up, “You mean it?” The look in his eyes made you melt and you couldn’t say no to him even if you wanted to. You bit your lip and nodded and he hugged you tightly. “Thank you,” he whispered into your ear, “And no one will give you a hard time about your tattoos. I promise.”

That made you both burst into laughter. It was nice for Marcus to hear your laugh again and he nuzzled you as he kissed wherever he could. It would be a change, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. And with Marcus Pike at your side, you knew you could handle anything. 

“I love you baby,” he spoke low in your ear.

“I love you too Marcus.” 

[btsmosphere]

Crossfire | KTH

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Moodboard Masterlist

~summary: The night your life blew up sent you on a collision course with the campus bad boy, Kim Taehyung. Though you were well aware of his reputation, it was his doorstep you ran to when you were bleeding with nowhere to go.

~word count: 6.4k

~gang!au, mafia!au, college!au, angst, fluff, action, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers

Warnings: swearing, injury, dangerous driving, mention of drugs (warnings apply to each part individually, please read them)

~a/n: I am actually super happy with this chapter, I hope you guys feel the same! Y/N and Tae go on a lil adventure... I also had to make up a name for a cartoon show for this lmao,, and as always, thanks for the love!! 

Something was tugging you from sleep.

Softly, though, so you didn’t notice until it was already too late, and your senses were with you all at once. In one last protest against the waking world, you didn’t open your eyes, stubbornly lying there instead, your back to the side of the bed Taehyung used. Then the same something that had woken you up started again.

He was singing.

That was all it took, and your eyes were open, body stiffening. Taehyung, however, noticed nothing. His song continued, one you had never heard before, and his voice was beautifully soft and smooth, expressive even at such a low volume. Clearly he had been hoping not to wake you up.

Swallowing, you forced your eyes to fall closed again. After the initial shock, you soon found it easy to relax to his calming melody, the duvet and pillow enveloping you in combination with his voice. And despite the warmth in your little bubble under the covers, goosebumps rose along your arms.

You really couldn’t get your head round Taehyung.

Though you had seen him being silly, all that time at college you had spent at a distance from him, he had seemed cold, intimidating. It had been a shock to you when he had been so amicable those months ago, and that soon became the Taehyung you knew, but he was still a mystery… His singing had really thrown you for a loop, another puzzle piece thrown in amongst the jumble you were already trying to make sense of when it came to this boy.

All day, you couldn’t get his song out of your head. Specifically, his voice.

His voice. Singing his song.

Him, him, him.

Last night he had mentioned that the books he had brought you were some of his favourites. Another surprise: who would have known that Kim Taehyung, the king of bad reputation, had a hidden love of fashion, an inner art connoisseur?

Now the books meant something different.

You read them even quicker after that, drinking in every word as if there were a drought.

Perhaps there was.

When you finished the last one in the stack, you were instantly back to the real world within four walls. It was only morning as well, judging by the light. Brilliant. One whole day and nothing to do.

“Y/N!”

Obnoxious footfalls. Taehyung was taking the stairs two at a time.

The bedroom door swung open to a slightly breathless Taehyung, leaning his weight against the door handle he had yet to let go of.

“Sorry it’s so late. You okay?”

You were lying across the bed’s width, head falling over the end nearest him, hair brushing the floor.

“Yep. Do you want me to cook?”

He only frowned down at you for a second longer before continuing as if one member of the conversation wasn’t upside down.

“Ah, no. I didn’t get any food.”

“But we basically ran out yesterday,” you frowned.

“I know,” he said, “but today we are going to the food.”

Now that made you sit up.

“What?”

“Yep,” a proud smile made its way onto his face and he straightened up, “we’re going out.”

When your only response was a wide-eyed stare, he took it as his cue to elaborate.

“I know you’ve been going a little crazy inside, so I thought we could go for an adventure. Hobi’s racing tonight and he says we can join him.”

“Hoseok?” you questioned.

“Yeah. Sound good?”

It did. You knew it shouldn’t. You weren’t naïve – you knew what he meant by racing. Idiots breaking every road law possible for clout, or maybe money. It was precisely what you had always stayed away from.

But it sounded so good.

“Sounds perfect,” you grinned.

First, Taehyung helped you find the pair of his jeans you were most likely to fit into; since you had been at his, you had mainly worn sweats for comfort’s sake, but this occasion called for a change. Wearing a hoodie was non-negotiable though, to hide your face.

After rolling up the hem of his black jeans, you slung on the most nondescript hoodie he had. Shoes, however, were more of an issue, so Taehyung vowed to buy you some once you were out. Also wearing black, Taehyung looked much more stylish than you in cargo pants, a bomber jacket and a bandana.

“Did you take your painkiller?” was the last thing on the list before finally leaving, via the side door.

Night had descended completely by now, putting you more at ease. You walked far away from streetlights when you could, but as you drew closer to the city centre, that was the last thing on your mind.

Being outside was just what you needed. You breathed in the cold air and drizzle on your face, eyes following each car that whirred past and people’s boots splashing in puddles of melted neon. And what made it all the more thrilling was the knowledge that you were taking a risk.

So far, you had been clumsily walking around in Tae’s sliders, until suddenly a man came barging past you on the sidewalk. In your dash to dodge him, you tripped over the too-big shoes, barrelling straight into Taehyung’s stomach where his arms steadied you.

You barely had a chance to straighten before Tae had turned around, bent down and grabbed the backs of your knees, forcing you to fling your arms around his neck, shrieking as he hoisted you onto his back. Grinning while you complained into the back of his neck, he carried on, but soon he was dragging you into a store that was still open – though not for long – and you grabbed the cheapest sneakers going.

With that problem solved, food was the next priority. In the end, you chose a street vendor and headed to your rendezvous with steaming bags in hand.

Not far from the centre, once you wound through the smallest streets enclosed by the tallest buildings, you emerged onto a car park. It wasn’t as secluded as you had expected for underground racing, still lit up in colours by the signs of shops that backed onto it, the entrance opening onto a wide road.

Cars were lined up, one pulling up at the same time as you and Taehyung. None were flashy sports cars: instead the line-up came in various states of repair, altered by their owners with darkened windows, underglow, stickers, spoilers, you name it.

“Hoseok!”

Beside you, Taehyung shouted across the car park, waving an arm above his head. Then his hand wrapped around your wrist and he lead you through the thin crowd over to the older bangtan boy, who pulled his friend in and clapped him on the back.

Hoseok joined the two of you as you sat on the wall to eat, watching as the first few people showed off their wheel spins and donuts, revving engines mixing with whoops and yells from the spectators. Most were dressed in black like you. A handful of people came up to chat with the boys, with ‘haven’t seen you in a while’-s to Taehyung and offers of bets for Hoseok. Keeping your head well down, you just enjoyed your food, silently taking in the new environment.

The night had cleared up, the asphalt still shining from the earlier drizzle, but the puddles now lay still as glass.

Plenty of people had bottles in their hands, sitting around on the perimeter walls. In the opposite corner, those with hidden faces crowded together, almost hiding the exchange in their hands. Others sat on their bonnets, proudly talking to the interested huddle gathered around them.

“Right, I’m gonna get warmed up,” Hoseok dropped down from the wall and departed with one last wave to your well wishes.

As Hoseok pulled his car out of its spot, more followed. Rolling down his window, he rested his arm casually against the side as he guided his car round, revving here and there to elicit hollers from the crowd.

Laughing in the driver’s seat, he hit the gas, putting on a spurt of speed and skidding round in a perfect one-eighty. A cloud was thrown up by his back tyres, glittering as the droplets fell back down.

By now, you had finished eating and were anticipating some action. The buzz among the spectators grew more as each driver messed about in the parking lot, until at last they were filing out, lining the empty road along an imaginary starting line.

“Can we go closer?” you asked Taehyung as people gravitated towards the roadside, disturbing your view.

A smile bloomed on his face and he jumped down, ditching his takeaway.

“Sure.”

Weaving in and out of the rabble to reach the front, you stood on your tiptoes to spot Hoseok’s car in the middle of the line. Taehyung stood just behind you, already speaking to someone. From your left side, a taller girl pushed past you, striding right up to the curb.

In a ripple, the pack quietened. The girl raised her hand – was that a gun? – and a bang sounded, drowned out instantaneously by the squealing of tyres and growling of engines. Within seconds, the cars had sped out of sight.

“How long is the race?” you turned to Taehyung, whose acquaintance had walked away again.

“That depends how fast Hoseok decides to go,” he murmured back, perching on the wall behind him and kicking his legs out, “they’re on one of the city circuits, main roads, so it’s just about acceleration.”

Nodding in what you hoped was a casual manner, you returned your eyes to the deserted road.

“So he’s good then, Hoseok?”

You hopped up onto the wall beside Taehyung, but it wasn’t his voice that replied.

“Oh, he’s the best.”

Your head snapped around, leaving you face to face with Yoongi. Leaning against the end of the wall, smoke swirling up from a glowing cigarette end in his hand, he looked right at home. How long had he been standing there?

“I heard you were here,” he directed a rare smile past you to Taehyung, “everyone’s wondering if you’re gonna go for a spin.”

“It’s been a long time,” Taehyung chuckled.

“Beck’s next up,” he said, as if that was meant to mean something. Based on Taehyung’s reaction, it probably did.

Shaking his head, he laughed, then bit down on his lip, still smiling, and stared into his lap.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Well you won’t have long,” Yoongi crushed his cigarette against the wall, chucking it carelessly to the ground. Sure enough, the screech of tyres and distant rumble of engines were once again becoming audible.

As Yoongi melted away into the crowd again, the sounds grew and you stood up again, craning your neck to see as far down the road as you could. Only seconds later, a pair of headlights blazed around the corner, drawing a line down your vision as the car flew towards you, followed by a tight group of others.

Stepping back, you watched as the first place car whizzed by, blowing your hair back and off your face, the rest piling across the line in a photo-finish a few seconds later.

While the cars slowed, drifting round to return to the car park and the assembled cheering crowd, an elbow nudged your arm.

“Do you fancy a ride?”

Your eyes slid between Taehyung and the cars re-entering the lot, quickly encircled by people.

What the hell were you thinking? Why were you even considering saying yes? This was crazy-

“Okay!”

Taehyung held you in front of him, shielding you as together you cut a path through the excited mass towards the victor of the last race. Hoseok was grinning from ear to ear, arms in the air, high-fiving people and showing off energetic dance moves in exchange for laughter and pats on the back.

Once again, Taehyung clapped his shoulder, this time leaning in to make his request. Hanging back, you were invisible in the crowd, your face obscured.

“Hey, everyone!” Hoseok shouted, causing a hush, “Taehyungie’s gonna do the next one!”

Cheers and excited applause erupted as Hoseok lifted Tae’s hand in the air. The older boy jumped around while Taehyung laughed, and before long the other drivers were back in their cars. Returning to the roadside, the crowd left you behind.

“Hop in,” Taehyung told you, making his way to the driver’s side.

Though not top-end, Hoseok’s car was not inexpensive. You slid into the leather seat and buckled up, Tae doing the same before gripping the wheel and getting it moving, out and onto the road.

“So where are we going?” you eyed the rabble from your window as you passed them, low rumble of the engine almost teasing given what was to come.

“Beck,” Taehyung replied, pulling into position, one hand staying loosely on the wheel, “it’s what we call one of the courses round the back alleys down by Beck square, and it’s sort of my speciality.”

You nodded, eyes falling back onto the wide open road in front of you. A few cars over, you saw the girl from before standing on the curb.

“You ready?”

A deep breath in.

“Yeah,” you smiled.

Bang.

Outside, the crowd blurred and disappeared, lights whipping past your window as you were forced back in your seat with the sudden speed.

Other cars encroached either side, penning you in but Taehyung kept his eyes ahead, locking the wheel all the way right to take you barrelling into a smaller road, with only one car ahead of you. At the back windscreen, purple headlights were bearing down on you, so close it was like a demon staring into the car.

Weaving, left, right, your car thundered after the red one ahead of you, but the gap only increased.

Snarling behind you, engine nearly as loud as your own, your main pursuer was on top of you. As you spilled out onto a wider road, it was gaining, crawling up your side.

With a glint in his eye, Taehyung took one look at the competitor, one glance to where the red car was turning the next corner some way ahead, and pulled the wheel.

Staring straight ahead, wheel at arm’s length, Taehyung pushed the car, the roaring engine riding a deafening crescendo as you powered ahead through the deserted alley he had taken you down. You winced as he rapidly squeezed past some industrial bins lining the wall, only grazing one with slight jolt – then it was a clear road to the growing exit.

Your car fired from the shortcut like a cannonball, Taehyung wrestling the wheel to bring the back tyres under control as you turned right, finding yourselves neck-and-neck with the red car from earlier.

Next, a drawn-out corner, and that was all Taehyung needed to pull away, expertly drifting around before flattening his foot to the ground, plunging into the darkest alley yet, lit only by your headlamps. But once you emerged, the wider road was back, shop signs and streetlights blurring outside.

Taking a glance behind, the red car was nowhere to be seen.

A laugh bubbled up from your throat as you fell back in your seat, exhilarated. And then there was the crowd, watching and waiting by the parking lot – you had won!

“Fuck me,” you breathed as Taehyung relaxed beside you, casually braking into a drift to turn around.

A hearty laugh returned from him as he pulled into the car park, soon getting swarmed. Exiting the car, you were both engulfed in the clamouring mass, though you managed to slip away to the midst of it. Everyone was the most interested in Taehyung.

At last, most had dispersed and only Hoseok and Yoongi were left congratulating Taehyung with hugs.

“Fun, right?” Hoseok smiled at you, inviting you into their conversation.

“Yeah.” Breathless as if you had just run the course, you laughed with them.

“Good job, you haven’t lost your touch,” Yoongi affirmed again as Hoseok left you to drive again.

By the sounds of it, the next race was a longer one. Bets had been made and you all held your breath as the cars lined up again. The starting gun did nothing to help your heart calm down after the adrenaline rush of Taehyung’s race, but you weren’t complaining. His face wore a similar joy to yours, the two of you happily sitting back after Yoongi left and laughing about the thrill of his driving.

“I dunno if I would have got away so well on the corner if Hoseok’s car wasn’t so good though-“

“Hey! Don’t downplay it, your driving was insane!”

“Maybe it was insane,” he looked down, bashful, but soon smiled back and shook his finger at you, “so don’t try this at home!”

But your laughter at his joke was interrupted.

Sailing over the buildings came the high-pitched wail of a siren. The group quietened. Listening. Perhaps it was unrelated?

A couple of people walked into the road, looking around to see if the vehicle was coming your way. It was definitely getting too close for comfort.

Taehyung stood, hand wrapping round your upper arm and lightly pulling you away from the front of the crowd, though both of you still stared at the road, hoping the sound would shrink again, pass you by.

Blue flashed against the rain-slick road, illuminating dark windows at the end of the street.

Bad luck.

“Run!”

Those who were standing in the road took off across it, away from the car park, while some scattered back to where they came from. The few cars left standing in the parking lot were starting up, leaving by the alleys. And in the middle of the crowd, you and Taehyung started running.

In seconds the parking lot had emptied, and now you were alone with Taehyung as other members of the party vaulted walls away from the sirens and shouting police officers, the slamming of car doors as they gave chase.

Air rushed in and out of your lungs as your feet pounded after Taehyung, going as fast as you could but still falling behind. Dark buildings either side of you were painted in blue as light fell down the alleyway from the cars that had scattered you. Up ahead, Taehyung rounded a corner, but it was lost in darkness and you weren’t sure which one he had gone down.

You didn’t stop running.

“Stop there! Police!”

A woman yelled from the other end of the street, making you push yourself harder.

Just then, Taehyung skidded back around the corner you had just reached and grabbed your hand before you could think, and now he was pulling you away, taking turn after turn through dark streets you had never seen before. Stumbling after him, you clutched his hand, your lifeline.

You must have lost them by now. No blue lights could be seen, no sirens or shouts heard, no other footsteps but your own.

You hoped you had lost them by now. Your heart was beating out of your chest and your head spun, lungs failing to cooperate, evicting air in heavy bursts, taking it in too slow. In your side, the pain couldn’t be masked by the painkiller anymore, pinching mercilessly with every step.

You had to slow down.

Legs failing you, you finally gave in to stopping.

The sudden tug and then loss of your hand in his made Taehyung turn around, finding you doubled over, panting and pale in the face. Eyes scanning the street beyond you for danger, he moved forwards, hands gripping your arms.

“Hey, Y/N, can you keep going?”

Only your hyperventilating answered him.

“Y/N? Can you hear me?”

Trying to pull you up to look at him, he was only met with your body going heavier in his arms, forcing him to scramble to wrap his arms around your back as you went limp.

Cursing, he lowered you to the ground but didn’t let go. Not taking his eyes off your face, he caught the moment your eyes opened again once you were leant against the wall.

A short breath escaped him, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you managed, breathing more even now, “my side…”

“It’s alright, you can rest for a bit,” he assured you, finally releasing you and sitting back on his heels.

One more check up and down the alley.

“Were we seriously just running from police?” you laughed slightly, bringing his attention back to you.

“First time for everything,” he mused, sitting down beside you.

“I guess,” you chuckled, still a little breathless, “so is the racing over?”

“For tonight. It gets busted occasionally, so when the others get back and see everyone’s gone they’ll know what happened.”

“Is Hoseok going to get arrested?”

“Shouldn’t do. He’s had plenty of practice evading cops.”

Nodding, your eyes returned to the ground. It was easy to forget how much experience Taehyung and the other bangtan boys had in all this; you were just here for the ride.

“You had your painkiller, right?” Taehyung broke the brief silence.

“Yeah, I did,” you quickly confirmed, “and I feel better now, I just, I dunno what happened…”

“And your iron pill?”

“Hmm? Oh, the red ones… no, I-I don’t think so.”

He clicked his tongue.

“That’ll be it then. You’re taking one as soon as we get home.”

Despite feeling a little like you were being scolded, you smiled, about to respond when a scuffle from the end of the street made you both turn your heads.

As you watched the dimly lit space, a silhouette ran past in a blur, followed by a slower figure, wearing an unmistakeable bulky police vest. They jogged past the opening to your street, but soon their outline reappeared, empty handed.

Breath catching in your throat, you went obligingly with Taehyung as he stood silently, his arm guiding you behind him without taking his eyes off the cop. As quickly as you dared, you both retreated, wincing at each slight crunch beneath your feet. In the silence, the crackling of a police radio, though incomprehensible, was clearly heard, and the officer mumbled back into it.

Spying an opening to hide you from view, you gathered this was your target. Holding your breath, you approached it, swinging around the corner at the first opportunity with only one glance back.

One glance that showed the cop’s head turning towards you.

This alley was much smaller than the other, and you found yourself facing Taehyung in much the same way you had in his hallway when you first came barging into his life. Searching his face, you wondered if he had seen what you did just now.

“Tae-“

His lips formed around a shushing sound that barely left his mouth, and in one small step, he was up against you, a finger steady on your lips to silence you. All you could do was hold your tongue and stare as he looked past you, tentatively dipping his head out of your hiding spot, never lowering his finger.

“They’re gone,” he spoke, voice still impossibly low.

Swallowing, you removed your eyes from his face, glancing up the alley you were now on. It was a dead end, home only to a large dumpster surrounded by smashed glass and needles. You couldn’t leave this way, which would explain why you needed to wait here, in case the cop was still close by.

What it didn’t explain was why Taehyung was still so close to you.

Although his hand had now lowered, you could feel his body heat from this proximity. The zip of his undone jacket brushed against the front of your hoodie.

Your tongue ran across your lips. Eyes finally diverted from the potential dangers outside, Taehyung was now looking at you.

“Uh…” you cleared your throat, regretting opening your mouth. You had no idea what you had planned to say.

Luckily, you were startled from the situation as a chiming ringtone broke through the moment.

Scrambling to scoop his phone from his pocket and answer it, Taehyung stumbled back, eyeing the alleyway outside in a panic. Thankfully, no one had heard. Better get moving.

“Hello?”

Not even getting a look at the caller in his rush to pick it up, Jungkook’s voice answering him was a relief.

Mindlessly grabbing your hand in his, Taehyung started walking with you beside him as he listened to the younger member. As you passed through the end of the street, he took a look both ways before leading you the opposite way to that the police officer had taken.

Holding Kim Taehyung’s hand was something you had never seen coming. But here you were.

You didn’t complain though. His grip was firm, comfortable, and walking with him this way felt… normal. How that was even possible, you didn’t know, and you blamed it on your lingering light-headedness – of course you would want to feel grounded.

But somehow, far away from all you knew in backstreets you had never seen before, after a very illegal night, with a gang member talking in serious tones over the phone next to you, you felt perfectly at home.

“Cheers, Kook. Night.”

Taehyung shut off the call, tucking his phone back into his pocket. By now you had reached more well-lit roads that you imagined would be busy by day. Now, of course, you were the only ones here. God knew what time it was.

The only light brighter than the streetlamps was the interior of a 24-hour convenience store, a good indication that it was by no means a civilised hour. Still without letting your hand go, Taehyung led you inside.

Standing in front of the wall of fizzy drinks, he ordered you to pick one before swiping a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar. The teenage cashier didn’t look you in the eye once as he rung you up, and then you were on your way. Only now did Taehyung drop your hand, passing you the chocolate with a command to get your sugar up and himself tearing into the crisps.

When you had worked through the first row, he spoke up.

“Jungkook was on the phone about your dad.”

“O-oh,” you stuttered, having just put another square in your mouth.

“Well he’s okay. He hasn’t been hurt, but as you know, Shinhyuk’s forced him to hand over your apartment for the gang to use. He’s forcing him to work for him, full-time, with the threat of harm to you if he doesn’t… Apparently he was accused of stealing drugs from a deal and that warrants all this – though it’s probably baseless. Shinhyuk had his eyes on your place already.”

You watched your feet as you listened. It had been easy to put your dad out of your mind for the sake of your sanity, the not knowing taking you round in circles, but hearing that he was still alive took a weight from you.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung said, greeted with your silence, “we’re fighting against Shinhyuk, and we’ll try to help him. Try not to worry about him losing his job, I mean-“

“Worry?” you looked up at him, “He’s alive! There’s nothing to be sorry for! Can you thank Jungkook for finding this out?”

A small, relieved smile crossed Taehyung’s face.

“Course I can,” he grinned, then held out your Fanta, “now don’t forget about your sugar.”

After this, the walk home was surprisingly short. Given how lost you were, you had thought you were half the city away, but in next to no time you turned onto recognisable streets. Strolling through the dark eating sugary snacks, it felt as if you were coming home from the movies, or any venture more innocent than your night of racing.

As the pair of you were climbing Tae’s front steps, he offered to make tea to warm up. Needless to say, you were fully on board with the idea.

He set to work, the kitchen lit dimly by lights tucked underneath the cupboards.

However, leaning against the wall waiting for the water to boil, you began to feel just how tired you were, both physically and mentally. But you could sleep later: you didn’t want the night to end yet. Deciding on a middle ground, you gave in to sliding down the wall, seating yourself on the floor. Not a move you would have chosen at your most alert moments, but it couldn’t be helped.

At your downwards movement, Taehyung spun around, dropping the teaspoon with a clatter.

But then he saw you staring back at him in bewilderment, and his eyes closed as he huffed in equal parts relief and frustration.

“God, I thought you were passing out again,” he grumbled.

Soon the bag of red pills landed in front of you on the tile. Sheepishly smiling, you gulped one down, and then a mug of tea filled its space.

“Oh, we don’t have to stay here,” you frowned at Tae as he sat down opposite you on the kitchen floor, leaning his back against the cupboards as he cradled his tea.

“Nah, it’s a unique perspective,” he said, “I’ve never sat here before and it’s my house.”

“Yeah, I’m sure your kitchen looks super different from down here,” a smile threatened to break your baffled frown, though you did pick up your mug, breathing in the inviting steam rising from it.

“So was tonight okay?” Taehyung smiled over his mug, eyes creasing a little as they watched for your answer.

“Mmm, yeah,” you swallowed your first sip of tea, “I’ve never… done anything like that before. But I thought it was really exciting! Hoseok is so nice too, letting you drive his car.”

Tae let out a short laugh, eyes disappearing for a moment.

“I practically learnt to drive in Hobi’s cars.”

“Wait, cars? As in, cars, plural?”

“Yeah,” his wide grin stayed on his face, both rows of his teeth visible in the low light, “tonight was just small races, he didn’t get out the big guns. You should see his Bugatti.”

Your eyes bulged from your head.

“I’m not even going to ask where he got the money for that,” you mumbled, still in awe.

“He didn’t,” Taehyung smirked. Rolling your eyes, you breathed a laugh, soon diving back into your tea.

“Was it alright with Yoongi there?” he asked next. His eyes were wider now, curious, smile dimming, “I know he hasn’t exactly been…”

“No, it was fine,” you assured, “I get that he doesn’t like me, but he seems to tolerate me now, so I won’t push him.”

“He did sort of beat you up before, though,” Tae pointed out.

“I nearly beat him up back!” you joked, admittedly motivated by genuine defensiveness, “I could have handed his ass to him any time I pleased, but I chose to give you the satisfaction of saving me instead.”

Taehyung responded by snorting into his tea.

“You are so rude,” you tipped your foot over to playfully kick his thigh as you both laughed.

“Honestly, I’m glad you’re not too bothered by Yoongi,” Taehyung said once the laughter had passed, though his smile still lingered, “he looks so tough, but he’s a massive softie really.”

You simply raised your eyebrows.

“You’ll see,” he smirked.

“I’ll wait,” you scoffed, “although I don’t find him scary exactly… he sort of reminds me of that evil magician from Archie-wizz- did you watch that?”

“Yes! I used to watch that every day after school!”

“Yeah, so you know the one I’m on about, right? He was always lurking around corners, like, the camera would turn around and there he was, like he’d been there the whole time. That’s Yoongi!”

Tae barked a disbelieving laugh.

“You mean Count E. Vil? Yoongi would flip shit if he heard you compared him to a cartoon.”

“Count E. Vil? That was his name?”

“Yeah, and every time he appeared, Archie was like ‘didn’t see ya there!’”

“Yeah, yeah it is that one,” you laughed at the memory, “was that seriously his name? I must have forgotten.”

“You know, the more I think about, the more I can see it,” Taehyung was laughing too, “you just turn around and he’s like – bam – looking all cool…”

Taehyung schooled his face into a death stare just like Yoongi’s to demonstrate, making you crack up even more. He didn’t last long before the act broke down, laughter creeping into his poker mouth and now the both of you were bent over your knees with tears in your eyes, wheezing with the kind of infectious laughter that is most at home after lights out at a sleepover.

“Not a word of this to Yoongi, understand,” Tae joked when you had both calmed down, voice worn out from the laughing fit.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Comfortable silence warmed the room for a moment as you both drank more tea. Odd though your little scene was, with you both sat on the floor, legs outstretched in the middle, it was cosy. The glow of fading LEDs that barely lit your faces separated you from the darkness of the outside. In all the world, it felt as though you two were the only ones, safe in your unorthodox sanctuary.

“How…”

You spoke before you had figured out how to phrase your question, but now Taehyung had lifted his eyes back to you.

“How did you… Who started, I mean, with bangtan…”

“How did we get together?”

You gave a small nod.

“Some of us go way back,” he set his tea down, “I mean, I went to high school with Jimin. And Yoongi’s from the same city as me, and we used to know each other when we were tiny. His family was connected to Namjoon’s, and that’s where it started – their families started the whole crime thing, and they started training together.

“We all sort of fell together, I think Jin’s family needed help from Namjoon’s and he stayed on; Jungkook knew Jimin from childhood, and he showed up asking for help when we had already started; Jin found Hoseok at college. I started, and Jimin came along too, because Yoongi wanted me. We had been out of touch for years, but I still knew who he was.”

“Wow,” you breathed.

“It’s sort of complicated, I know,” he directed a shy smile at his cup.

“Well, that’s life,” you said quietly, “but you guys work so well together. I guess you got lucky.”

Taehyung’s nod was solemn.

“Yeah. But it’s more than just working – they’re my brothers now.”

Tilting your head as you listened, you believed him.

“You guys seem to understand each other so well.”

“We do – we always have each other’s backs, you know? I wouldn’t stick around in this for just anyone.”

“By ‘this’, do you mean…” you rested your chin on your knees, still listening intently.

“Everything we’re known for: drugs, fights, racing… I never intended to get into all that. I try to be careful, and moral, about it, we all do. But I wouldn’t have done it for anyone else.”

“Do you think you’ll stay in a gang forever?”

By now you were both talking in hushed tones as if you were huddled under blankets.

“No, I don’t think so,” he pondered, “I’m not sure what I want to be, though.”

“How about your art?” you smiled, “or fashion. Those books you got me were really interesting. Or your music? You’re a good singer-“

Cutting yourself off, your eyes widened. Taehyung had been nodding along, considering your options, but now he stared straight back at you.

“You heard me singing?”

“U-uh, yeah, I did,” you stammered, heat glowing in your cheeks, “I was half asleep, but I thought you were so good.”

“Thanks,” Tae’s voice was lower in pitch now, and he swallowed and looked down, his dark hair obscuring most of his face so he almost melted into the darkness. He cleared his throat, “I’ve never sung to anyone else before.”

“Well, you didn’t exactly sing to me,” you spoke softly, reaching a hand to his knee, “but it was amazing anyway. I mean it.”

You were glad to see a genuine smile blooming on his face as he looked back up again.

“Anyway,” he shook his head, “I’m not gonna leave the boys. Even when I’m not in a gang, they’ll always be my family. I’m not letting that go.”

“I understand.”

You really did. Your only family was across the city, torn from you and forced to work for Shinhyuk.

Hesitantly, you drew your hand back from his knee.

Draining the last dregs of his cold tea, Taehyung let the silence settle.

“I miss college,” you eventually confess into the quiet room, “I hope I get to go back.”

“Even Professor Han’s class?” Tae’s low voice joked.

“Oh, I don’t think I miss it that much,” you smiled, though it was overtaken by a sigh.

“You’ll go back,” came the reassurance.

A pause.

“We… we’re hoping we can beat Shinhyuk in this whole thing. We’re sort of working on a plan.”

Instantly intrigued, you stared expectantly across the kitchen at Taehyung, who heaved a sigh and began to explain.

“Shinhyuk has his weaknesses, and thanks to Jungkook we’ve found the worst. He works differently to us. He doesn’t care for anyone in his gang, and they don’t care for each other. Like your dad, he keeps most of them there with blackmail, so we’ve been trying to pick people off. If we can infiltrate well enough, guarantee his members a safe escape from the gang, or find some blackmail of our own to get them, we should be able to weaken him and catch him off-guard when his safety net isn’t there to catch him anymore…”

“Is it going to work?” you breathed into the still air.

Taehyung pursed his lips. You were very conscious of your breathing as you waited for an answer. In. Out.

“It has to.”

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[gregorygerwitz]

Where did you get the idea for the magic AU? I love it so much 🥺 I love the worldbuilding so far, so detailed! What kind of magic is the world based around? It seems like mouse is a conjurer, did I understand that correctly? I'm curious about Trudy's decision making around adopting Mouse and Kim, and her thought process discovering their power or maybe just knowing they had magic when she adopted them? I'm going to save more questions for another ask, but I love it so, so much!

Hi, Shae!

This idea came about because I was watching a stand up comedy special yesterday, and I was sending @kitthekazoo my favorite quotes from bits the comedian was telling. And I completely jokingly said that one quote in particular had Trudy energy:

"No raising demons in the house. If you want to raise demons, you go in the garden."

And it was a joke, but Kit made a comment about a magical!Platt Siblings AU, and then we both kind of... simultaneously world-built? and then I took it and ran with it because it was that or spiral yesterday oops, and now we have the magic AU.

Mouse's magical specialty is very influenced by conjuration magic (I spent a lot of time on the Skyrim wiki while developing his particular abilities) - specifically things like summon familiar (his little shadow mouse) and the conjuration of objects. I just kind of expanded that to non-physical things, too, like information, all of which translates really well with his tech skills in canon and the felony theft on his record.

I'm working on the blurb for Kim's moodboard now, but she has a different type of magic, which is heavily influenced by the worldbuilding I did almost completely on accident.

I don't think Trudy knew about their magic when she first took them in. She just saw two kids who were cold and scared and looking for somewhere safe, and she offered that to them. She gave them food and somewhere warm to stay through the winter, and by the time she figured out that they were magic, she recognized that they were just scared little kids, not this dangerous thing that the government is trying to tell everyone what they are. But she didn't know for sure until she saw Mouse actually do magic with the sunflower in the garden. And these kids were already a part of her life, and she cared about them, and they're her kids now. She just decides to put the adoption on paper and make it official so they could have a little bit more stability in their lives than they've had.

But so much world building has gone into this little universe already, and it's gonna keep growing because I'm a menace, but it's fine. That just means I get to babble about it.

[severetimetravelnerd]

Let’s Switch Things Up (ft. MINO) (5)

Part 5

Andy reminds you of something you thought you had put behind you.

A/N: Heyy! So this is my new series, that I’ll be updating every Thursday. All images I’ve used in this moodboard that I’ve made are just representative of the emotions, not the way the reader looks :))  Please show this lots of love!

Comment if you’d like to be added to the taglist.

I’m so sorry about missing last week’s update :(((( I thought I would be able to finish it by the weekend, but I couldn’t

Taglist:   @herewecomeitsjekki​​  ; @kwonnansi​​ ; @happiestgirlontheeastcoast​​ ; @unabashedturkeytreeslime​​; @to-all-the-stories-i-love​​​

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know!

Word Count: 2344

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of cheating (kind of angsty), drinking, mentions of bullying, suggestive

——————————————————————————————————-

The next morning, Minho woke up and found you snuggling into his side. You were cold. And even though he would have taken the spontaneous decision to hug you to warm you up, he knew that after yesterday, it wouldn’t be awkward. And so, he covered you with the blanket properly, lifted you lightly, laid you on his chest and wrapped his arms around you. you were fast asleep, but you appreciated the warmth and curled up even closer. Minho couldn’t keep the light smile off his face. That was the moment his subconscious registered that this what he wanted from life. Of course, he had dated before, but this was different. No one had ever made him feel this way; made him react this way. What he had with you was special. It had only been two days since he met you, but things were different. He looked down at your face. Your cheeks were squished, your hair was messy and you just looked so peaceful. He held you a little tighter and somewhere deep down, hoped to god you felt the same way about him.

---

The two of you had a lazy day, ordering room service and watching movies all day. Both of you were too tired to go for the mixers Andy and Liza had organised. Natasha and Jae had a date and Mirae and Sophie were out sightseeing with Sophie’s friends. Neither of you addressed the fact that you were basically cuddling the entire day. You refused to bring it up when you felt his hand on your hip. He refused to bring it up when he felt you run your hands through his hair and trace his piercings. It was like both of you were scared to acknowledge any of what was happening, scared that it would all disappear. Both of you knew that you would go back to Seoul tomorrow and he would go on to meet his friend. You were scared. this was the first time you felt this way about someone. Not even Andy, and you had known Andy for eight years. There was just something about Minho that made you feel so warm and comfortable, and no other person had manged to make you feel that way. You didn’t want to lose him. It was just that you were scared.

---

You took out the dress you were planning on wearing, smoothing it out and hanging it up. You decided against going to Natasha’s room to get ready. You saw Natasha and Jae earlier from the window, and things were not looking PG13. You had already showered, done your hair and were in the process of doing your make up. Minho was taking a shower. You didn’t even realise you had a smile on your face from hearing him sing. After you were done with your make up, you slipped on your dress. It was a bottle green off shoulder dress, form fitting with a slit up your right thigh. It was very simple, but it was very you. Just as you finished slipping on the dress, you heard the bathroom door unlock. Minho knocked against it.

“Hey, let me know if you want a bit more time to get ready.”

“No, Minho, I’m almost done. I actually need your help with something.”

He opened the door. His hair was wet and tousled, and he had a bathrobe wrapped around himself. You felt your throat constrict. You quickly turned around.

“Minho, can you help me with my zip? I’ve zipped it up as much as I could on my own.”

His voice sounded distracted when he responded.

“Oh yeah sure.”

His hands were slightly shaky when they touched your lower back to get a hold of the zip. It did nor help either of you that you arched your back at his touch. It just felt different. You ignored the light hiss that escaped his lips. Both of you knew that the level of tension was high. Minho zipped your dress up and his hands just ran down your sides, without him even thinking about it. Something in him almost made him suggest unzipping the dress and getting late for the reception, but he stopped himself just in time. He had no idea how he would have gotten out of that one, not that he wanted to. He just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

You moved to the couch to double check your hair and put on jewellery so that Minho could use the dressing table. you lost track of time on your phone and suddenly remembered about your necklace. Digging it out, you were trying hard to figure out the clasp situation on it and how you were going to put it on your own. You were trying hard, completely absorbed with trying to put it on and not getting it caught in your hair. So absorbed that you didn’t notice that Minho had just finished getting ready. He watched you for a minute with an amused eyebrow raise.

“Y/N?”

You jumped.

“Hmm?”

“Stand up. I can help with that.”

“Oh right!”

You turned around to flash him a grateful grin when you realised you were just a few inches apart. Your breath hitched. Minho typically wasn’t the one to make the first move but he gently took the necklace from you and turned you around. Your breathing was now controlled. You were working too much on that to notice Minho’s eyes; glazed over and hazy. One look at them and you would have known that you weren’t the only one who wanted to know what the other’s lips felt like. He gently pushed your hair away and hooked the necklace on. Neither of you moved. He kissed your neck at the spot the necklace met. His hands remained on your shoulders and he turned you around. You couldn’t meet his gaze. He smirked. Leaning down just a bit, he whispered,

“Y/N, you look stunning.”

And before you could respond, his lips trailed onto your cheek, playing it off as a kiss to the cheek, dangerously close to your lips, when both of you knew that was not what either of you wanted. He lips had barely touched the edge of your lips and your hands were now on his chest when someone knocked at the door. Both of you jumped back. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. You heard Natasha’s muffled voice yelling at you to get out, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from Minho. You made eye contact and he abruptly turned. You blushed and turned away, feeling very embarrassed even though he had been the one initiating things. You were about to go down this black hole of doubt when he cleared his throat. He still couldn’t look at you, but he extended his arm for you to slip your hand through.

“Let’s go?”

---

Two hours later, you sat there awkwardly at the table with Minho. Natasha and Mirae were with you, but they had started with the champagne a little earlier than you had. The entire vibe of the party felt off. Andy had his god-awful cousin Ken hosting it, and you did not know it was possible to be that unfunny. And Andy and Liza were both drunk already, which, to you at least, didn’t seem like a good sign. Minho gently squeezed your hand to get your attention.

“I’m going to go get us something to drink. You want a mojito, right?”

You smiled and nodded. At least things were beginning to get less awkward there. You were swaying lightly to the music, grateful that at least the DJ was good, when you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around smiling, expecting Minho but that smile left your face the moment you saw it was Andy. Just Andy. Not with Liza, not with Ken, but alone. Why did you have a feeling this was not going to end well?

He smirked at you and you fought the reflex to gag.

“Hey Y/N.”

“Hi Andy.”

“How’s the night going?”

You forced a lie.

“Oh it’s lovely. The party is amazing! Congratulations.”

His smirk deepened and so did your disgust. He pulled up a chair and sat down close to you, with his arm over your shoulder. You hated it but you told yourself to take deep breaths. Y/N, it is his wedding. You cannot sucker punch him on his wedding. He’s also shitfaced.

“Y/N, you look amazing.”

Oh no. You did not like where this was going.

“You look so sexy.”

Immediately, you felt like you looked repulsive.

“Aren’t those the diamonds I bought you?”

Your hatred for him grew in that moment. Even if he was trying to hit on you, which was bad enough, hinting about the money he spent on you and implying that you owed him something was just awful.

“No. They’re not. I gave them back to you and you gave them to Liza. Liza, your wife.”

“Oh, right. But you know Y/N, they’ve always looked better on you.”

Your jaw dropped. He literally just got married. How?!

“Andy, you don’t mean that. Go find Liza and dance with her.”

He leaned in closer, whispering,

“But I want you! You’ve always been so different. And most of the time, you being different was just weird, but right now, it’s sexy as fuck.”

You were in shock. How does someone slip that low? In your shock, you didn’t notice Minho coming back.

“Andy. You’re in my seat.”

Andy jumped up, his face red and flushed.

“Ah I was just going. Y/N…if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

 Minho took one look at you and he knew something was wrong. Your face was pale, and your hands were shaky. He placed the drink down in front of you and sat beside you quietly. He just knew not to say anything until you did. You took a sip of your drink and looked around. Your eyes darted everywhere until you saw the roof of the low, barn like setting they had and grinned. It was an unsettled grin, but a grin nonetheless. You turned to a worried Minho.

“Hey, can we get out of here?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Oh, I have something in mind.”

And this was not the kind of thing Minho did. He always stayed till he left for home, never did anything impulsive or out of the ordinary.  But he looked at your eyes and suddenly, he felt this deep desire to get out of that stifling party with you. He nodded. You stood up with your hand stretched out and he grabbed it.”

---

Ten minutes later, he climbed the final stair to the roof of the barn and watched as you spun around. You had taken off your shoes and were in the process of removing all the hair pins from your head. You shook your hair free, looked up and grinned. Minho had never seen anything more beautiful.

You sat down and looked at Minho, expecting him to join you. he paused, as though arguing internally, and then slipped off his shoes and socks, removed his tie and jacket and unbuttoned his shirt a little.

“That’s the spirit Minho.”

He smiled, looking at peace. He sat down next to you. both of you just sat there in silence, enjoying the night sky and the cool breeze. But you knew you had to tell someone. So you waited, until you were calm again, and leaned against him.

“Andy just asked me to sleep with him.”

Minho was surprisingly calm. He already knew Andy was awful. He simply nodded.

“It made me feel awful.”

Minho wrapped an arm around you, gently rubbing your shoulder.

“He…he said I’m weird. And usually, it’s a pain, but today, he’s finding it sexy.”

Your head fell. You were planning on staying that way until Minho’s hands gently coaxed your chin up.

“Hey, listen to me. You’re not just an object for him to find sexy. He’s an asshole, so clearly, he doesn’t know what he lost. You are amazing. I don’t know why he would call you weird. You’re literally the most amazing person I know. And I…you mean so much to me, even if we haven’t known each other long. Don’t listen to him please? You’re so much more than his words.”

A single tear ran down your face. Minho had no idea how much that meant to you. you had always been made fun off for being ‘different’. Sometimes it was the way you dressed, or the hobbies you had. It was honestly just people looking to bully you. and you thought you had worked past it, but it was always difficult to hear it again. You smiled as you felt his hands gently wipe the tear away.

“Thank you, Song Minho. For everything.”

You sat there in silence again for a while, but there was something you knew you wanted to do. you wanted to let Minho know how you feel. You had to. Yeah, you were scared, but you knew you would regret it if you didn’t. You suddenly turned towards him only to find him looking at you with a nervous expression. Both of you froze. And then, you leaned closer, letting your forehead touch his. His eyes widened. His hands reached up to hold your face.

“Y/N, are you sure you want”-

You nodded. And he kissed you. You had always known Minho was different, but that was the moment every part of your body knew as well. No one had ever been able to make you feel this way. You felt his tongue swipe your bottom lip and you willingly let him deepen the kiss. He pulled you onto him, so that you were straddling him, and his once neat hair was now a mess with your hands running through it. You both pulled away panting.

“Let’s go to the room Minho.”

---

Copyright © 2020-2021 @severetimetravelnerd All rights reserved.

Any unlawful and unauthorized sharing of these works will result in legal action.

(Reblogs are good :) )

[elentiyawhitethorn]

The Bet | Chapter Thirty-Three

Rhys’ POV of this chapter here

Masterlist//Moodboard//Timeline// 3036 words

Day 93

The past few days had been absolute hell. Reporters following Feyre to and from work, as well as Rhys, Mor, and Lucien. Odd looks on the subway. Endless notifications from Mor’s various social media accounts.

Tamlin hadn’t said anything more about it.

Feyre had spent her time giving the reporters vague comments (so as not to seem like she regretted anything) and then running off to work. Rhys went to her studio after his flight classes at the university. When he was with her, along with some daily special from Mor’s cafe, they talked about anything and everything. Apparently Rhys was just as much a nerd as Feyre was when it came to the Renaissance, and they had spend a great deal of yesterday discussing it.

Despite everything that had happened, some of which Feyre didn’t even understand, they seemed to have reached some sort of cease-fire since the events that took place at the hospital. She was still confused and frustrated at him for the secrecy regarding Tarquin, the way he’d shut her out before the funeral, the transitions between flirty and ice-cold, and many other little unexplained incidents. Still, Feyre was selfishly enjoying their afternoons together, and she didn’t want to say or do anything to screw it up.

Rhys didn’t work on Fridays, so he was going to be here early, in maybe half an hour. Feyre had worn her new boots—she and Lucien were very limited on clothing, so Mor had taken them shopping—for the first time this morning. The snow had only been half an inch, but she didn’t want to ruin her worn sneakers. She was also clad in a sweater, her coat resting on the back of a chair.

Feyre dabbed her brush in some Prussian Blue and eyed the canvas. Undecided on what to create today, Feyre simply let the brush slide along the canvas, letting the paint go where it wanted to. This painting would probably end up as an abstract piece.

A knock sounded on the door. Feyre left it locked due to her paranoia, something she’d been working on with Dr. Suriel, but had lost all grasp on it. After all, reporters were stalking her 24/7 these days. Her paranoia had returned in full force.

Feyre carefully set down her brush and ran over to the door, trying to pretend she wasn’t as excited as she really was.

It was Rhys, not some reporter or surprise guest. Smiling, Feyre ushered him in quickly, not wanting let too much frigid air into her studio.

“Darling, I have some news.”

Feyre assessed that statement. It must be pretty important if Rhys didn’t bother to say hello first. But it was good news, judging by the grin on his face.

“And that news is?”

“Enough people have been pressuring the Federal Trade Commission that they finally released a statement declaring they would look into Spring Industries and Hybern Corporation for a number of illegal activities.”

Feyre nearly ran into the wall on her way back over to her canvas. “Really?”

“No, I was just kidding,” Rhys said sarcastically.

Feyre laughed, ecstatic, as she elbowed him. “Shut up.”

Rhys set the takeout from Mor’s place on the little table that had been occupying Feyre’s main studio area for the past few days.

“Wait, how did you find out? Isn’t Mor the one checking every site every second of the day?”

Rhys snorted. “She texted me and told me to tell you. You had just left, apparently.”

Feyre processed this. The FTC, something she knew little about, was probably only complying with the requests of the public so as not to look like they had some issues as well. Still, Feyre couldn’t care less about their motive. As long as they actually looked and found things their group had previously had record of before her hospitalization.

Giddy, Feyre plopped onto a chair.

“Ah ah, darling,” Rhys reprimanded, smirking. “Mor says she knows for a fact you ate breakfast and she won’t have either of us demanding more if we pig out on our lunch at ten in the morning. Everything’s in containers so it stays warm for a while, as you know.” At Feyre death-stare, he added, “Her words, not mine. I’ve been banned from an early lunch as well. Apparently dealing with us ‘always-hungry brats’ can be a hassle.”

Feyre rolled her eyes. “What a bitch.”

“Should I let my cousin know what you think of her?”

Feyre smiled lazily. “No, I’ll just tell her myself.”

Rhys laughed.

Feyre gave the food another glare and got back up. “I guess I’ll finish painting then.”

Pulling out the other chair and sitting down, Rhys said, “Turn the canvas this way. I want to watch.”

Feyre frowned slightly, but did as he said. She was only pretending to be shy; she was actually pleased that Rhys wanted to watch her work.

“What is this one going to be?” Rhys asked. Nosy bastard.

Feyre surveyed the dark blue streaks, only the start of the painting. “I don’t know yet.” She picked up her brush and dipped it in the Titanium White, expertly loading the pain into the brush.

After a couple minutes of working, Rhys spoke up once more. “So I hear it’s your birthday in ten days. The twenty-first, right?”

Feyre didn’t stop painting. “I’m assuming Mor told you that?”

“Lucien, actually.”

Feyre sent a curious frown over her shoulder, then turned back to her work. “You don’t have to get me anything.”

“Of course I’m getting you something on your birthday, darling.”

Feyre washed her brush in odorless paint thinner and dried it. She eyed the various greens.

“And I was thinking about what, exactly, I should get you. I didn’t want it to be something boring. So many people just get boring things on holidays.”

Feyre selected a medium green and added some white, mixing the paints effortlessly. “I don’t mind if you get me something boring. Or nothing at all.”

Rhys gasped. “You don’t think me that horrendous a person, do you?”

“I’d elbow you if I weren’t painting right now.”

“Do you have a website for your art? Like where you can display the pieces and their prices, along with some information about each of them?”

Feyre paused the strokes of her brush. “Most artists do, but I’m not really good at stuff like that. Why do you ask?”

“I took an online designing course in college. I thought maybe I could make a website for you, but then I thought you might not like the idea. So I figured I’d ask first.”

Feyre laughed incredulously, finally setting down her brush and turning around. “You want to design a whole website for my art because you’re such an over-doer that you can’t just get a gift card or something?”

Rhys grinned. “Well, when you put it like that, it seems like a lot. But really, it wouldn’t be that difficult. Hell, I could make it right now while you finish that painting.”

Feyre smiled. “Rhys, a website would probably be very beneficial for me and my work, but I can’t ask that of you.”

“Ah, but you’re not asking. I’m offering. Besides, what did I say about it being easy?”

Feyre bit her lip. “I mean, that would be great.”

A look of positive elation crossed Rhys’ features. He pulled his laptop out of his bag and opened it. “So what do you think? Theme-wise?”

Feyre blinked. “Um, maybe I should leave the designing to you. I really have no idea.”

He started typing, doing gods-know-what on his laptop. He looked like a kid in candy land, and Feyre marveled at how she had never seen this side of him before.

Not wanting Rhys to get a sneak peek when she had no clue what he was doing, Feyre rotated her easel back to its original position. She focused on her work once more, trying to ignore the sad feeling that was coming over her when she thought of what a good friend Rhys was. A friend.

—

Feyre wasn’t quite satisfied with how the green was turning out on her canvas. She got some more white and blended it in, using a technique she’d learned from her art teacher. There. That was better.

Rhys sighed thoughtfully behind Feyre. “Hm, that’ll do.”

Feyre reached for the cyan.

—

“Do you think a light color with beige undertones for the background would be better than a light grey?”

Feyre hummed noncommittally as she dabbed her 2” brush in the black.

“You’re right, grey would work better. It’s less likely to clash with the rest of the page. And I don’t mean grey grey, I’m talking about white with subtle hints of grey. Barely visible, but still cool and elegant. The simpler the better for a website meant to advertise art.”

“Yeah,” Feyre agreed, not totally sure what she was agreeing to. Maybe she should use the Phthalo Green. Oh, definitely. What had she been thinking?

—

Letting the paint knife scrape off the excess of one area, Feyre smiled. It was coming together.

Rhys was typing furiously behind Feyre, clearly either having a breakthrough or an epileptic seizure. She tuned out the tapping noise.

Feeling the inner peace that came alongside reaching the end of a painting, Feyre calmly hefted a fan brush. Just a few finishing touches to administer…

—

“I’m done!”

Feyre and Rhys both laughed. They had spoken the same words at the same time, despite the last few hours of near-silence, interrupted only briefly by mutters or hums.

“You go first,” Feyre demanded, grinned.

Rhys gestured to the seat beside him and leaned back in his own chair. Feyre took a seat and peered at the screen of his laptop. And gasped.

A white—no; light grey—background framed several blank spaces in rows and columns, each labeled (PAINTING), with (PRICE) and (DESCRIPTION) below in a sophisticated, but clearly legible, font. The top was labeled Feyre Archeron’s Artwork. One column on the left of the page had little labels like Contact Info and such, things she would have to fill in. It was simple and easy to understand, but still chic and modern. It was clearly designed by someone who knew what they were doing.

“Obviously you’ll need to fill in the spaces and add to the descriptions. And you can change little things like the title or the color scheme or the layout. Anything you don’t like about it, totally feel free to let me know. You won’t hurt my feelings one bit.”

Feyre was at a loss for words. She stared for a moment.

“You don’t like it. That’s okay, I definitely don’t want you using it if you don’t like it. Shit, I shouldn’t have—”

“No, Rhys, stop. It’s not bad, I’m just a little speechless. It’s absolutely stunning.” Feyre covered her mouth with her hands, noticing little details she hadn’t before like the smooth black border and the slightly curved edges of every rectangle, giving it a warm feel.

“Really?”

Feyre glanced at Rhys incredulously. “You designed a fucking beautiful website for me in, like, two and a half hours and you’re surprised that I like it?”

Rhys smiled bashfully. “I thought you might, but I still got worried.”

Feyre laughed, almost hysterically. “You’ll have to show me how to use this. I’m technologically incapable.”

Rhys chuckled. “It’s not that hard. You’ll get the hang of it in no time.”

“Not that hard?” Feyre raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you say that designing the damn thing would be not that hard? Because I don’t think I could have done that.”

An amused smirk fell on Rhys’ lips. “I was talking about me then. In regards to you unintelligent heathens, the operation should be fairly straightforward.”

A startled laugh left Feyre’s mouth and she slapped Rhys playfully on the arm.

“Hey, I just made you a birthday present. That should give me at least a week of reprieve from your abuse,” Rhys mock-complained.

A mannish snort left Feyre, and she didn’t bother trying to summon the dignity to be embarrassed. “Really, Rhys, thank you. I appreciate it.” Feyre’s tone had taken on a more serious tone. She had no idea Rhys would get her anything for her birthday, let alone something like this.

At that moment in time, Feyre remembered something Mor had mentioned this morning. One week left in the bet. Just another week and Feyre could cash in her $100. The thing is, Feyre didn’t like that it was almost over. With every day that passed without something happening between them, Feyre got more and more hopeless. The whole point had been that Feyre was supposed to try to keep anything from happening with Rhys. Well, she could hardly call what she was doing now trying, and still, nothing transpired.

It almost made that rebellious streak in Feyre want to kiss him.

Of course, before she could do anything, Rhys sat back in his chair. “I’m glad you like it.”

The moment was lost. All confidence drained from Feyre. Realistically, this was good. Kissing Rhys would sure as hell mess things up. But she was pissed anyway because she was sick of being a coward.

Feyre muttered something in reply, trying not to let Rhys see the confliction in her eyes.

“Do I get to see your painting now?”

Feyre was relieved at the subject change. She smirked, a pathetic mimicry of his own arrogant attitude, and stood.

Rhys turned his chair and started a drumroll on the table. Rolling her eyes, but failing to conceal the smile tugging at her lips, Feyre slowly spun the easel, revealing her finished work.

The smirk was wiped off Rhys’ face. Well, that was a first. Feyre had to admit, she was quite proud of her painting, not to mention the slack-jawed expression taking over Rhys. It was some of her best work.

Snow covered the bottom of the canvas. Little bushes poked out here and there. Other than a few miscellaneous trees scattered across the landscape, the main coniferous population resided at the foot of a mountain range, covered by a faint mist. The mountains themselves were clearly decipherable as to their relative distance; the mountains farther away were less detailed, faded by even more mist. The closer ones were detailed, revealing uneven snow layers and sharp ridges. But the real show-stopper was above.

The landscape made up the bottom half of the painting. The top, the sky, was a real beauty. Long twisting lines of blue, green, hints of purple and red, everything delicately smeared in perfectly imperfect streaks, long, winding lines crisscrossing in the night sky… Feyre had painted the northern lights.

Done admiring her work—Feyre hadn’t realized what a narcissist she was until now—she turned her head to admire the real masterpiece.

Did I really just think that? Did I really just tell myself I was going to freaking admire Rhys, the masterpiece? What the fuck?!

Trying to completely ignore the weird-ass lump that was her brain, Feyre said, “Do you like it?”

Rhys laughed nervously. “I more than like it, Feyre, this is… heavenly. Positively bewitching.”

She was definitely blushing furiously, not expecting quite a reaction. Rhys looked genuinely stunned.

“Well, I like it myself, but it’s not that… who am I kidding, it’s bitchin’.”

Rhys choked on his laughter. “Gods, bitching is one word for it.”

Feyre grinned. “Want to put it on the website?”

Rhys’ eyes flicked to hers. “Only if you want to.”

“Um… how exactly does one go about that?”

Rhys gave a smirk that definitely signaled lecture-time. By the time the painting was correctly photographed and uploaded onto the website, it was well past one in the afternoon. They sat to eat—finally; Feyre was starving and her stomach kept growling angrily—and Rhys showed her how to use the website while they devoured Mor’s tasty recipe of the day.

One she thought she had a pretty good understanding of the basics, and after making Rhys promise to help her whenever she desired, they finished lunch in silence. It wasn’t awkward at all, merely a comfortable silence shared between friends. If only Feyre didn’t have to ignore everything that she was feeling the enjoy it.

Feyre disposed of their lunch waste and stood, ready for a relaxing evening.

Rhys rose from his chair as well. “Well, today has certainly been eventful.”

Feyre smiled. “At least we can agree on one thing.”

“What else haven’t we agreed on?”

“You told me it would be easy to use.” Feyre pouted.

Rhys narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t realize just how bad you are at all things tech-related, even after you said you were sucky. That’s like baby boomer level incompetence.”

Feyre giggled. Fuck, since when did she giggle? This had to end. “Thank you again. You have no idea how much I appreciate what you did.” She stepped forward and hugged Rhys.

Rhys hugged her back tightly. “I’m glad you like it.”

She laughed into his shoulder. “I told you, I don’t like it, I love you.” Feyre paused. “It. I love it.”

Had Feyre just… accidentally told Rhys she loved him? Fuck yeah, she should give competitive life-ruining a try. Maybe she’d win a gold.

Rhys tensed. So he’d noticed the slip. Obviously; how could he not?

Feyre released Rhys and stepped back in one fluid moment. She was getting really skilled at running from her issues, apparently.

Terrified to look Rhys in the eye, Feyre grabbed her bag and gave a big false smile. “I love it,” she repeated one last time, still not daring to look at Rhys, trying to convince the both of them it had been an innocent mistake. A slip of the tongue.

That should be the name of Feyre’s life story. Slip of the Tongue. It had a good ring to it.

Wasting no time (read: not wanting to hear Rhys’ reaction), Feyre reached for the door handle, conveniently right next to her. She opened the door and nearly sprinted down the steps, letting the door swing shut with a bang.

Rhys didn’t call after her.

———

AN: I know nothing about corporate tax shit or designing websites or painting or anything. Let’s all just pretend this chapter made sense. Also, I am exhausted, so I couldn’t even make myself read over it once. Sorryyyyy

———

Tag List:

@aelin-bitch-queen // @feysand-loml // @infernoqueen19 // @lemonade-coolattas // @live-the-fangirl-life // @midsizewitch // @sleeping-and-books // @story-scribbler // @thebonecarver // @whythefuckdoiexist

[alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom]

Chapter II: Overhelming city, just because of you!

Thank you @flowers-in-your-hayr​, you are a moodboard-goddess, this is stunning!

a/n: I hope you enjoy it, as much I did while writing it. English ist not my first language, so sorry for mistakes.

Pairing: ALEX x Reader

Spotify: Kiana Ledé & Jacquees - Only Fan

Words: 1875

Warnings: NSFW and smut, a bit fluff

Summary:  The day with Alex was perfect, but in the end you got an even bigger surprise.

Chapter I

,,Are you ready for breakfast?" She shook your shoulder. "Hey Y/N, wake up, we're late. I wrote Marco that we are going be in the lobby at 10 AM.’’ You never saw her so nervous, it was almost contagious. You only had an hour to get ready and eat.

,,You got his number?’’ You were surprised and start thinking if you’re going too slowly, just because Marco got Ana's number but Alex not yours.

You ran through the hotel room, searching for approppiate clothes and shoes. The light pink/red lipstick looked stunning on you.

~~·······~~

Ana and you left the breakfast buffet and stood now in the lobby. You got impatient. Janina woke you up for nothing, nobody was waiting there. She even asked at the reception, but they didn't know anything.

You were annoyed. It was beautiful sunny weather and you didn't want to waste any time waiting. "Come on let's go, we can do this on our own. They won't come." You went backwards and waited for her to come with you.

,,I hope you like red roses’’ Suddenly you heard this familiar voice behind you. 

,,We are late and I don’t want you get angry, so I brought you this rose. I hope you are not mad.’’ He was visibly happy to see you again. His bright blue shirt matched exactly with his eyes, he looked amazing.

He lifted you up so that only the tips of your toes touched the ground. You hugged him tight, like he did.

Marco and Alex rented bikes, so you could change quickly the places. You were impressed by the beauty of this colorful city.

~~·······~~

You stopped at a park. They prepared a picnic for lunch. It was so cozy to lay on that blanket; you closed your eyes to feel the sunbeams warming your face. You felt Alex searching for your hand. His thumb stroking the back of your hand. Your hand squeezed his, signaling that you liked his touch.

You turned your head to the other side looking for Ana. Marco was lying on the top of her, kissing her slowly. They were hidden behind a tree, so you couldn’t see what they exactly were doing. You looked at Alex again in the hope he also saw that, so he maybe would kiss you too, but he didn't.

You broke the silence ,,I want to go up there’’ And pointed with the other hand to Tivoli’s ferris wheel.

,,The view up there is beautiful. Good idea." He sat up and glanced down at you. It was a perfect situation to kiss you, so you took a deep breath.

But Alex got up and went to Marco. "Marco!’’ He yelled.

"Hey, Marco! He yelled again. He was too busy, kissing her neck.

,,Hey lovebirds, you can continue at home, let’s go to the ferris wheel’’. Marco seemed a little bit annoyed, that you disturbed them, but after a minute he was laughing and smiling again.

You got on the ferris wheel and were a bit nervous. The sun was slowly going down, so the view turned out to be much better than expected. The wheel started to move, and you reached for his hand. To be on the highest point of the wheel was a magical moment.

You looked at Alex and said quietly, 

,,Thank you…this is an overwhelming city, but just because you’re by my side’. He touched your chin so lightly that you barely felt it, like he was afraid to hurt you.

His bottom lip touched yours, he was so nervous that he wasn’t even breathing. You closed your eyes, to feel the kiss more intense. Your knees were shaking, you felt the kiss all over your body, that you almost got dizzy.

It got cold as soon as the sun went away. Alex and Marco had a surprise for Ana and you, so couldn’t go straight to their apartment, they said, so you went to the hotel first to take a shower and then to their home for dinner. Ana had the address, because you didn't still have Alex's number.

The building looked from outside discreet and a little bit old fashioned. Their apartment was in the top floor, so you took the elevator. You checked your make-up and hair in the mirror for the last time. Marco and Alex were leaning against the door frame as you walked out.

Ana directly jumped into Marco's arms and kissed him. Your shyness prevented you from taking the first step. You weren't sure whether you could kiss him or not and especially because he was the one who kissed you. Alex took you by the hip and pulled you to him. His lips awakened your feelings again.

He stopped kissing you abruptly. "Come in, our neighbors are too curious, I don't want to be their evening show".

The apartment was modern and decorated in a minimalist way. You could see hole Copenhagen through those huge windows. Alex did a room tour; you liked his grey bedsheets and the colossal jacuzzi in his bathroom. You imagined how hot it would be seeing Alex naked in there.

,, Why do you need a mirror above your bed?" You noticed how he thought about what to say.

"Hm, what do you think?" He grabbed your hips. You put your arms around his neck.

"Tell me." He nibbled on your lip before kissing your neck.

,,Because I want to look at your ass while you're riding me." He whispered in your left ear. You became goosebumps all over your body and you felt a cool wave running over your back.

His hand slipped over your ass. "You can also see yourself cumming while I please you with my tongue." He kissed him so rough that your back hit against the door frame.

"I would like to keep watching you guys, but we should eat dinner first, I'm so hungry!" Marco stared at you with a little smirk in his face. You nodded. Alex squeezed your ass before you let go of him and clapped it as you turned away.

You had absolutely no idea what Danish dish this was, but it smelled so good and the taste was even better. Marco was telling a funny story, but you noticed that Alex did not pay attention at all. He was staring at at your breasts. You were wearing a top with deep V-neck, the fabric was thin so he could see the pattern of your bra throught it. You leaned forward, to let him see more of your body and of course to provoke him. You ran your wet tongue over your lip and smirked. He took a sip from his glass, but his gaze remained on your decollete. You liked that game.

,,So how can you have so much time for us? We have already Tuesday and none of you went to work." commented Ana.

It seemed as Marco either Alex wanted to answer the question. 

Marco answered after a while. ,,We are actors, we play in the same series and finished shooting last Friday."

"Oh really, I hope you are not disappointed, if I never saw you on TV’’ you said ashamed.

Alex told you everything about it, how long they we’re acting and what the series is about.

,,To be honest, I’m really happy about that. I want you to love me Alex and not this character Ivar. Yesterday in the pub, we noticed that you didn’t know who we really are, so we decided to keep it secret for the moment.’’ He hoped you didn’t get mad. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't. You felt so attracted to him.

,,Should we give them our present now?’’ Marco whispered to Alex. They stand up and came back with two big golden gift boxes.

You thanked and opened it carefully to not damage this beautiful loop. 

,,Oh wow, is this a dress? How I deserve this?’’. It was a beautiful dark blue shimmering dress with the matching high heels, it overwhelmed you. You took the dress out of the box and discovered a second little box.

,,I want you to come with me to a charity event tomorrow, you will repent.’’ Alex said and took the diamond chain out of the little box, to put it on you.

"But Alex, I can't" You pressed the dress against your chest you to feel the soft fabric.

"No, why? Don't you like the dress?" He couldn't hide the disappointment.

,Yes, of course...I’d be glad to, but I do not necessarily wish to be on TV."

"I'll do my best to keep you out of the public eye, I promise."

"So if that is the case, I will be in the background, if you are ok with it.’’

,,Of course, there will be no cameras at the afterparty, don’t worry.’’ 

He hugged you and kissed you. ,,More wine? Let’s celebrate!’’ He raised his glass.

Marco and Ana had a lot more wine than you and were already pretty drunk. Marco ran to music player and started a playlist. The first song was Only Fan-Kiana Ledé and Jacquees. Ana and he went to the balcony and rocked gently in their own rhythm.

You loved that song. ,,I want to dance’’. You pulled him by the hand and pushed him onto the sofa. 

,,Keep your hands next to you’’ you said in a stern voice. Your hips moved according to the rhythm of the music. Your butt brushed his crotch and you heard a low moan. You went on your knees, your face passed his crotch again. You pulled with your teeth his zipper down, his dick nudged your jaw. The wine made disappear your shyness. You sat on his lap and moved slowly feeling his dick on your ass. Your hips did circles, up and down, side to side. His hands slid slowly under your shirt and grabbed you by the waist. They felled down, he squeezed your ass and pressed his lips against yours. You were already horny before the lap dance, but he didn’t know it.

You noticed Marco's eyes watching you through the balcony window, at the same time kissing Ana's neck. He smirked when your eyes met.

Alex stood up and walked into his bedroom. Your legs were around his waist, holding you tight so you couldn’t fall. He started to kiss your neck, his tongue traced over your breasts without touching the nipples and passed your navel. He teased you.

Alex forgot to close the door completely, so Marco heard your loud moan, when Alex finally reached your clit. Alex looked up to you and smirked. You took his head away from pussy, jumped on him and thrusted his thick dick into you, without warning him first. One short moan escaped his mouth. He glanced down at his cock and watched it disappear into your pussy again and again.

He let his head fall back and mumbled. "You're crazy"

,,Do you like what you see in the ceiling mirror, huh?’’ you asked him while making him a hickey on his neck. 

,,I could watch you for hours, elskede’’. You jumped harder and faster, hearing your buttcheeks clapping against his hips.

"Uh, yes." He groaned and smacked your ass with both hands.

He loved this roughness and couldn’t prolong his orgasm. You keeped the pace. Feeling his warm seed running out your pussy triggered yours.

He grabbed your chin and pulled you down. "Stick out your tongue" He bit into it and you whined. "Hush and kiss me!"

~~·······~~

Alex was still sleeping, when you stood up the next morning. You had to put his shirt on, because you didn't have any clothes with you. The shirt covered your ass and you didn’t wear underwear. Everyone was sleeping anyway so it didn't matter.

,,Do you want a cup of coffee?" You were frightened.

"What are you doing awake Marco?" Your nipples shimmered through the light fabric, so you tried to cover your breasts with your hands.

"I could ask you that as well" He poured himself a cup.

"I made too much and Ana is still sleeping. So do you want or not?’’ You took your cup and sat on the couch and saw Alex's belt laying on the floor.

Your shirt slipped up as exposing your butt cheeks unintentionally as you leaned forwards to pick it up.

,,I saw you having sex yesterday, he satisfied you well’’ He said in a jealous tone.

,,Weren’t you with Ana?’’

,,Ana was so drunk. She felled asleep little later."

You were so shocked that you didn't comment on it.

"I’m sorry, a gap was open and...-"

"and what?!" Your tone became brisk.

"- you were so sexy." You blushed.

"I won't tell anyone, don't worry.’’ He added.

You were confused. Did you like it or not?

Alex interrupted your thoughts. ,,Are you grabbing my girlfriend? Maybe you should ask for permission first.’’ He laughed.

Chapter III: I kissed you and you don’t even know

[cali-holland]

An Illicit Affair- Harrison Osterfield One Shot

Pairing: KOH!Harrison Osterfield X Angel!Reader

Prompt: Harrison can only visit you in the mortal world on the 13th of each month, but, with his powers weakening, he’s given an ultimatum: his crown or you.

Word Count: 3800

Warnings: dark undertones bc it’s Hell?, might be some swearing, my general lack of knowledge of Hell/demons

And shout out to @duskholland​ for hearing all my shitty ideas before I landed on this one 😂

Masterlist   Harrison Osterfield Masterlist

*Moodboard is mine, pics used are not*

Inspired by the lyric from Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift:

“And you know damn well For you, I would ruin myself A million little times”

~~~~

You smiled, looking through the glass roof, watching as the humans bustled beneath you at the mall. You could see everything from your spot: the employees happily leaving their jobs as the clock struck 1, the high school couple that was on their first date, the children running around the indoor playground, the elderly couple enjoying their ice cream at the food court, the college student that found a $10 bill on the ground that you may or may not have conjured right then for them- everyone was content.

“I don’t think angels are supposed to do that.” You heard a smooth voice behind you as a warmth washed over you.

“I don’t think the devil’s supposed to be with an angel.” You teasingly replied, turning to face Harrison on the roof.

“When does the devil ever listen?” Harrison smirked. He raised a hand to caress your face, doing his best to memorize every little detail.

“I missed you.” You said quietly.

“I missed you, too.” He cupped your cheeks, pulling you in for a gentle, yet passionate kiss to show you just how much he’s missed you this past month.

As King of Hell, he could only leave Hell and visit the mortal world once a month- on the 13th to be exact from noon until midnight. Meanwhile, you, like all other angels, could freely walk the Earth as long as your wings beat. The 13th, though it was a fearful day for most with demons coming about, was the best day for you, every single month, because you got to see Harrison. It was an illicit affair, but neither of you wanted it to end, even if it killed you to watch him disappear into a puff of red smoke every single time.

“You’re late.” You murmured against his lips, your breath falling into his breath. Harrison stayed silent, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck, mindful of his horns. His hands found your waist to keep you as intimately close to him as possible. Your fingers ran through his hair, tracing mindless patterns in the soft curls. He leaned into your touch, and you knew something was seriously wrong. You could sense the turmoil within him, stronger than ever before. “What’s troubling you, my love?”

“It’s nothing.” He whispered into your skin, his warm breath tickling you.

You closed your eyes, inhaling a deep breath as you let your mind wander, trying to reach out to his. You could read the minds of mortals and understand what true happiness they sought with ease; with Harrison though, he was much trickier for you to read. His mind was filled with the voices of all the dead souls in the Underworld, but, still, you had to try, if he wasn’t going to tell you. Normally, he would pull away as soon as he felt your mental presence to protect you from having to listen to all the demonic voices, but this time, it was like he wasn’t even present there- in his own mind. You paused your journey through his mind as you realized the voices were louder, and his own thoughts were impossible to hear. You pulled your mind from his and breathed out in confusion, “You’re weak, aren’t you?”

Harrison pulled back from you to look you in the eyes. His dead eyes searched through your lively ones. “How did you know?”

“I read your mind.” You whispered, and his face fell at the realization.

“I couldn’t feel you.” He answered in disbelief.

“Harrison, talk to me. What’s going on?” You asked, and he let out a small sigh.

“I can’t keep coming here.” Harrison’s voice broke as he continued, “Every time I leave Hell, I lose more and more control over it. Yesterday, a few souls got past Cerberus.”

You were silent for a moment, knowing the weight of his words. Cerberus was the physical representation of Harrison’s control over the souls, and the three headed dog kept demons from leaving Hell whenever they pleased. While demons, including himself, could come to the mortal world once a month, he was the only one to continuously suffer from it. Every visit to see you was a chip away at his power; even now, he could feel his grip on the other undead souls slipping away. If he lost that power completely, the demons would overrun the Earth and destroy the angels- everything would go to apocalyptic ruin. Harrison drew his power from the flames of Hell, and the only solution was for him to stay there and not return to the mortal world until he was strong enough to keep the souls at bay.

“You must go.” You said quietly, feeling your heart break at your own words. “You must go and regain your power.”

“I don’t want to leave you.” You could sense the tremor in Harrison’s voice- he was scared of losing his power, but he was scared of losing you even more.

“But you need to. You can’t save me if the demons come.” They were gruesome words, but he needed to hear them. He needed to remember that, while he wanted to protect you, he couldn’t protect you if he lost his powers.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.” He admitted. “I don’t know when I can return to you.”

“We have eternity, my love.” You reassured him. The familiar red smoke began to circle at his feet, and you quickly pulled him in for one last kiss, “I love you, Harrison.”

He didn’t get the words out before the smoke overcame him and he disappeared, but you already knew- you knew he loved you, and you’d see him again some day.

~~~

When Harrison returned to the Underworld, the familiar red and black gates opened with an ominous hiss. On his walk to his dark palace, he checked in on the surroundings. The same overcast clouds blocked out all sunlight except for the faded rays peeking through just enough to keep it lit, the same river Styx carved out a trail through the never ending darkness, the same flames burned in the distance to illuminate the various paths, and the same dead trees lined those very pathways. It was dreary as always, but it was his domain, his home.

He wanted to bring you here one day, just so he could show you the spots he loved in Hell, albeit they were a bit gloomier than you were used to. You were used to a picnic under the Tree of Life in Heaven, but if you came down here with him, he’d take you for a stroll along the River Styx. He’d introduce you to Cerberus too, the three headed dog that brought him joy even in the darkest pit of Hell.

“You’re back early.” Tom, his grand duke, noted when Harrison returned to the grand palace. When Harrison didn’t reply and continued his stalk to his office, Tom tried again to get his attention, “Was she not there?”

“She was there.” Harrison answered sharply, slamming his office door behind him, wordlessly telling his grand duke that he didn’t want to be bothered at this moment. He let out an angry sigh, steaming coming from his breath as he sat in his large, leather chair. The heat in his office was unbearable today; Hell was unbearable today.

He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to be with you on Earth, where the two of you could be together, even if it was just for twelve short hours on the 13th of every month. His eyes flickered over the single black feather that sat in a glass case on his desk, the only thing he had to physically remind him of you.

“It’s almost midnight.” Your voice was just above a whisper.

“Sh. We have time.” Harrison replied softly, running his hands through your hair, before his lips found yours for the hundredth time that day. You could feel every bit of warmth he radiated rushing through your body. In the desperate heat of the kiss, Harrison’s hands roamed your body to pull you closer to him. His finger barely caught on one of your wings, and you jumped away from him, crying out in pain.

“Y/N? Y/N? Are you alright?” He looked at you in concern, not daring to reach out to you. He watched as a single feather dropped from your pure, white angel wings and turned black as night. He felt foolish for forgetting the curse of a demon’s touch, especially his; when a demon touches an angel’s wings, they return to Heaven and lose the ability to fly, forever left to guard the pearly gates above. He got lucky this time. His finger had touched only one feather, not your full wing, but it was enough to make him ashamed of himself and afraid of his own touch.

You took a deep breath as you grabbed the dark feather from the ground, stretching out your wings; the one still tingled from the burn of his touch. When your eyes met Harrison’s, you saw the frightened and ashamed look on his face. You stepped towards him, and he backed away. “Harrison, I’m fine.”

“No, you aren’t. I hurt you, I almost took away your wings.” He shook his head as he spoke. “I could’ve lost you.”

“It was one feather, and I know you never meant to hurt me.” You reassured him. You flew a little until you were in front of him and took his hands in yours, slipping the black feather into his palm. “They still work. You haven’t lost me.”

Red smoke started to simmer at his feet, and you gave him one last tender kiss. When you pulled away, you smiled softly at him, “I’ll see you in a month.”

It seemed strange to Harrison that it was only a year ago when that occurred; it felt like ages ago, but yet again, that was the life of an immortal. He just wished he could feel like he did back then- powerful as the king of hell with you by his side.

~~~

With each passing day, Harrison‘s stress over his rule increased. More and more, demons were slipping away into the mortal world. It had been three months since he had been to Earth, since he had seen you, and he didn’t feel like he was regaining any of his strength. Tomorrow, the 13th, would’ve been his chance to see you again, but he knew he had to remain in Hell if there was any hope at keeping the demons from overrunning the angels.

“There’s been another escape.” Tom informed Harrison, rushing up to the king as he strolled along the River Styx.

“How many is that now?” He asked, fearing the answer already.

“113.” The grand duke replied, “If any more escape-“

“I know.” Harrison cut off his friend, not wanting to hear what would happen if he didn’t get a better handle on the situation. “I need my strength back, and I need it back now.”

“What if it isn’t about you leaving Hell?” Tom offered, making the kill look at him in confusion, “You’re the King of Hell, of course your reign would weaken in your absence, but what if your actual power is weakened from something else- or rather, someone else?”

Tom was the only one who knew about you, the only one Harrison trusted enough to tell, but Harrison never thought his love for you could be his greatest weakness, not when you felt like his greatest strength. Before Harrison could respond, a voice called out from behind them.

“Someone else? Has the devil found a woman?” The figure stepped out from the shadow of an old oak tree. Harrison and Tom recognized the other demon immediately.

“Lucifer.” Harrison acknowledged curtly. “What do you want?”

“Why do you assume I want something?” Lucifer asked, a hand placed over his chest in offense as he stalked towards them. He feigned innocence, “I was just simply walking past when I saw the Grand Duke run up to you in a hurry, and I feared for our world.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it, Lucifer.” Tom scoffed. Harrison may have been the king, but Lucifer was always hungry for more power, seeking out ways to seize control of Hell.

“Am I not allowed to be concerned for our world?” 

“When it’s considered eavesdropping on private matters, no you are not allowed to.”

Lucifer clicked his tongue at Tom’s response, his red eyes shifting to Harrison, who stayed silent, “Who is it? A mortal?” Harrison’s jaw clenched, and Lucifer smirked, red eyes lighting up in recognition, “An angel. Why, that’s an interesting pair.”

“What’s it to you?” Harrison questioned, his fingers tingling with a new found heat that rushed through his system.

“Oh, nothing.” He replied, but the answer didn’t satisfy Harrison. “Have you ever seen a wingless angel and the scars that trace their backs? There’s no greater feeling in all the worlds than running a hand through their feathers and watching as each one burns off, listening to their agonizing screams as they retreat to Heaven for the rest of their days.”

At his words, Harrison flooded with a new-found anger, grabbing Lucifer by the neck, his black claws growing out of his hands to prick at his skin. Through gritted teeth, he warned, “If you so much as breathe on her-”

“Or what?” Lucifer tested, “You’re weak. You can’t stop me, but I’d be willing to negotiate.” Slowly, Harrison set him down and tried to calm his breathing, steam coming out with each exhale.

“What’s the deal?”

“I won’t touch your precious angel if you give me the crown and join the mortals.” He offered, and Tom stepped forward, cautiously putting a hand on Harrison’s shoulder.

“Don’t. It’s a trick.” Tom stated, already knowing Harrison would give everything to ensure your safety. If Lucifer took your wings, you would be trapped in Heaven forever, and, as immortals, forever was an even longer time.

“I’ll give you time to think about it, your majesty. After all, I won’t take my chances with Cerberus today when tomorrow is the 13th.” He grinned wickedly, before walking away and disappearing into the shadows of Hell.

“Harrison-“ Tom started, but it was too late; he’d already disappeared, teleporting to his office, one of the perks of being the Devil. The grand duke let out a sigh before hurrying back to the palace to speak with his friend.

By the time Tom reached the palace, Harrison was pacing around the office with a piece of parchment in one hand and the single black feather in the other. Before he could speak, Harrison shoved the paper into the grand duke’s hands, “I need you to give this to her.”

“You can’t give up your kingdom to Lucifer. You know he’ll strip her of her wings and kill you all over again.” Tom reasoned.

“I’ll change the deal- make it so that he can’t harm us. If I don’t, Lucifer will never leave her alone.” There was an eerie silence in the room as Harrison turned away from Tom, stalking over to the fireplace. “Tomorrow, go to her and give her the letter. She needs to know that she isn’t safe anymore.”

“How do you know the letter will pass through the portal with me?”

“I just do.” He replied, his fingers running over the cold feather as his eyes focused on the fire. Tom quietly backed out of the room, letter in hand to prepare for his journey to Earth tomorrow.

Harrison looked at the feather in his hand. He raised it to his lips, murmuring, “It’ll be alright, my love.”

~~~

The past three months had been especially dreary for you. The first month was similar to any other, living on that hope that it was just a matter of days until Harrison would be back, but, of course, he wasn’t strong enough to return after a month away. And then the second month passed, and now it was the third one. You had hope, knowing he’d come back to you at some point, just like he always did.

You weren’t sure if he was getting any stronger. More and more demons were slipping past the gates of Hell and entering the mortal world when they weren’t supposed to be there. At first, the other angels tried to combat them and banish them back to where they belong, but then the demons would rip their wings out. Not many angels remained on Earth, fearing the imminent apocalypse. You remained, though, feeding on that hope that he’d gather his strength and regain his control of the realm.

Without the light of all the angels, Earth was growing darker, colder. You sat on the roof of the mall, right where you were every 13th day of the month, looking through the glass at the people below. The humans weren’t happy, not even when you’d send someone a little gift of joy. And you weren’t happy either; your world was bleak and cold as well without Harrison there. Even Heaven felt wrong to you now. You felt a wave of warmth wrap around you, but it wasn’t the same warmth that Harrison would greet you with; defensively, you turned to the figure.

“I’m a friend.” Tom said, holding up his hands in surrender, one hand clutching tightly onto the letter. You searched his mind for a moment in a search to see if he was speaking the truth. Hearing his thoughts flicker back to Harrison in concern, you pulled yourself back to reality.

“Tom the Grand Duke.” You stated, and he did a little bow for you.

“And you must be Y/N.” He smiled. Harrison had told you of his best friend, the grand duke, but he was never able to introduce the two of you. It was Tom’s job to act as king in his absence; the two of them never able to leave Hell together.

“Is he okay?” You asked, worried about why Harrison would send his friend.

“He’s as okay as he can be.” Tom replied as he held out the letter to you. “He wanted me to give this to you.”

“Thank you.” You said politely. You took the paper from him, opening it up and reading it quickly.

‘My love,

The longer I have been away from you, the weaker I have become. I want more than anything to cross the portal and be with you, but I must be cautious. Lucifer has learned of your importance to me, and he plans to steal your wings to use them and you against me. By the time you read this, I shall be making a deal with him. He will only leave you unharmed if I surrender my crown and my immortal life to him. I will live as a mortal on Earth, powerless and crownless, but it will be worth it because I can still see your beautiful face. I miss you, and I shall see you soon, even if it is in a different life.’

Tom stepped forward hesitantly as a few tears slipped down your cheeks, wetting the letter in the process. He reached out console you, and you leaned into his warm touch, crying from the note. All of the hope you had for Harrison’s return washed away, but you couldn’t let him throw away his life, his title, his world for you.

~~~

“And Y/N remains unharmed,” Harrison said, before adding definitively, “Forever.”

“You have my word.” Lucifer answered. “Anything else?”

“As long as she’s safe.” He stated, and the other demon nodded, holding out a hand to him. Harrison went to shake it, but paused when he felt an odd presence overcome him, like someone had just entered Hell when they weren’t meant to. Before he could go investigate the new arrival, the palace doors opened and in walked Tom with you beside him.

“Y/N?” Harrison questioned, unsure if you were really there or if he had somehow envisioned you. He ran over to you, cupping your face in his hands. “You’re really here?”

“I’m here.” You smiled weakly at him. His eyes ran over every detail of your face, taking in all of it, just as he always did after being away from you. He stepped back as he realized your figure wasn’t accompanied by your pure, white wings. He opened his mouth to ask, but you cut him off, “I wasn’t about to let you give up your crown for me.”

“But Heaven-”

“Doesn’t like angels having affairs with the Devil.” You told him with a small laugh. “It didn’t take much for them to free me. I’m here, and I’m here to stay.” Harrison smiled, leaning in to kiss you, overcome with happiness.

“What about our deal?” Lucifer questioned, drawing the attention of the room back to him. Protectively, Harrison stepped in front of you and kept a single intertwined with yours.

“We never shook on it, and now that Y/N’s a demon like you, I’d say there’s nothing you can do to hurt her.” Harrison said.Lucifer ran from the room as a fire flickered in Harrison’s eyes. The room fell silent momentarily before the sound of Cerberus’s distant growls filled Hell, followed by the sound of screaming souls. You felt a wave of heat rush from Harrison’s hand into yours and through your body as he turned to face you. He felt his power come flooding back, the escaped souls returning to the Underworld. The Devil was back at his full strength with you right by his side.

~~~

Tag List: @viagracex @theamazingtomholland​ @Hellomoveonby @heyitsshrez @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart @joyleenl @t-o-m-holland​ @lonikje​ @sleepybesson​ @sunkisseddreamer​ @hollandsamor

Harrison Tag List: @Calhtlland @tomkindholland​ @where-art-thau-romeo​ 

and, for this fic: @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh​

[imnotasuperhero]

Wrap your love around me (like we’re supposed to be)

Omg, I don’t even know how to explain the mixed feelings I have with this one. This literally flowed out of my mind and crushed my heart at the same time it healed it.. This is easily my favorite story so far. I love writing Wanda so much and I thank @creepingwolfberry for requesting this. I truly hope you guys get to enjoy this beautiful baby of mine. Please don’t hate me (:

Disclaimer: I wrote this while drinking, so all mistakes are mine.

Check out the moodboard here!

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Wanda decides it’s time for a much needed break from avenging. The chance of meeting someone (you) never crossed her mind. Yet, it happened. Would you fight for this?

Or, requested as a song drabble for Orange Trees by Marina.

Wordcount: 1127

Wanda has been waiting for this moment for a few months now, so to say she was excited was an understatement.

You see, life as an Avenger could get a little -a lot- stressful. So when her index finger landed in some random point in the globe they held in the compound, she couldn't help the huge smile that took over her face. Her mind was made. With quick feet, she got to her room and started to pack for a month. Her mind already starting to picture herself under the warm sun by the sea. Maybe a cocktail in hand as the calmness of the island washed over her just nicely.

***

After checking in the hotel, she decided to go explore the surroundings in search of adventure. After all, free spirits like hers couldn't be held in the same place for long.

So here she found herself. Piña colada in hand, contemplating the soft pink and orange of the setting sun painting a nice contrast against the blue sea. The peace of the scenery, despite the constant buzzing of tourists and locals alike, a welcomed change for her overworked mind.

"You must be the reason for global warming because you're hot," a deep voice said behind her to which Wanda turned. Her eyes going directly to you instead of the man the words came from.

Wanda hurried herself to think something to reply while trying to maintain calm under your scrutiny. "Actually, it's primarily because of too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere." Wanda couldn't help but smile at your laugh, patting herself in the back mentally. Maybe working alongside two nerds wasn't that bad. "Oh, my God! That was the best answer I've ever heard," you blurted between laughs, earning a grunt from your friend.

Wanda could only witness the exchange between you both with a dumb smile on her face, already lost in the sound of your voice. "Uhh... Wanda," she offered when she realized you were waiting for a reply. "Hi, Wanda. I'm Y/N, this one here is James," you offered kindly. "I'll pay my bet tonight," James kissed the side of your head before walking away not before sending a wave to Wanda, to which she replied warmly. "Don't worry. We just bet he couldn't win a girl with that lame pick-up line," you dismissed nonchalantly. "I guess I earned myself a drink?" Wanda didn't know where the confidence came from, but she was thankful for when you smiled something bright. "I like you," you quickly sat by her side at the bar. "So, what ya doing here?"

Wanda found herself immersed in an easy conversation for the rest of the evening. Random facts about each other being thrown left and right. Laugh was a nice addition to it.

Flopping in her bed, she sighed at the memory of you and she wondered if she ever let herself feel this freely before. To say she was scared of the way her heart throbbed was an understatement. She knew she had to go back home in a few weeks. "No," she muttered to herself. She couldn't let you take over her. She had bigger obligations to care of and you weren't something she needed. Or was it? Grunting, she decided to head to the shower and call it a night. The flight already catching on her tired body.

***

"Wanda!" You called as you ran to the brunette you met yesterday. "Y/N, hi." She smiled something warm and you felt your heart jump in your chest. A soft pink tinting your cheeks. "How are you?" You smiled back, offering her your coconut as you sat beside her in the sand. "I'm good, thank you," she played with the straw before taking a sip of the refreshing beverage. "You?"

A comfortable conversation settled between you both. The easiness of the situation was both, a warm, welcoming feeling and a bittersweet one. You knew she'll have to leave you in 26 days from now. Yet, you allowed yourself to enjoy every single second of it. Either with friends in tow or just the two of you, in your own personal world.

You knew this wouldn't last. None of you belonged here and sooner than later, you'd both part ways to your current, real lives. These weeks together would be nothing more than a memory.

***

"It was so nice meeting you," you smiled and Wanda could see the tears wanting to fall yet, you blinked them away. "I hope I get to see you again," she opened her arms, smiling something painful when you wrapped your arms tightly around her torso. "Me, too," you mumbled against her neck and Wanda knew you felt the way she shivered at your warm breath against her skin.

You both stayed there in each others' arms for a while, basking in the warmth and peace the moment offered you.

"I guess that's my call," Wanda couldn't help the tear that fell when the voice in the speakers' called for her flight. "I guess so," you looked at her eyes and Wanda swore she could be invincible if she let herself free fall in your gaze. "Thank you for making these, the most amazing days of my life," Wanda brought her hands to your cheeks and brushed the tears away. "I'm so thankful I've got to met you, Y/N."

Her world finally crumbled apart when you hugged her one last time. She could feel it in the way your arms surrounded her waist tightly, in the way your nose brushed against her neck as if seeking comfort. And Wanda would be lying if she wasn't tempted to just tell you who she really was and get you to come home with her. She was so close to just brake the only rule Fury gave her...

"Here's hoping we see each other again," Wanda had to command her body to actually break apart. Her heart shattering at the sadness in your face. "May I see you again," you muttered between broken sobs. Wanda's body ached to feel your warmth one more time. Forever, if it was possible.

***

Stepping off the plane, Wanda smiled sadly to herself. Memories of you both coming to her mind in welcomed -yet painful- waves. The way you liked to play with her hair braiding it, and decorating it with beautiful flowers. The way you made her feel like a world in peace was possible. The way you would hold the moon and the stars for her if she asked you to.

She knew she must hold onto the way you made her feel. And in a silent promise, she swore she'll see you again. No matter the cost, this story was far from finished.

[kweebtrash]

Hey Beautiful Stranger

Pairing: StarvingArtist!Johnny X Reader(with some characterization)

Genre: lots of angst, some fluff, and smut

Features: imperfect, awkward, fluffy sex with tons of kisses and caresses and uncertainty.

Word Count: 17k

Summary:  Johnny had lost it all, became invisible to the world, felt like nothing and absolutely defeated. He tried to stay positive but it was a joke. A passerby, huffing and sprinting through the dingy train station catches his eye and he wonders what life would be like happier with her. He wanted what he used to have, to feel loved, like he was someone’s someone.

A/N: I sobbed while writing this so good luck. Also will put some sort of moodboard/gif beneath the title eventually. Also also this is based in New York

Johnny Only Masterlist   Other Stories   Buy me a Ko-Fi  

April 17

The heels of my boots clacked wildly against the dirty subway platform. I was late. Incredibly so. After a night of drinking with some friends I had slept through my alarm. My head was still buzzing and my stomach swished with nausea. Work was the farthest thing from my mind but I couldn’t call off. The friends I had gone out with were also my coworkers and I couldn't risk them ratting me out. I had to at least pretend my body wasn’t on the verge of collapsing and that I was a fully functioning adult who hadn't been irresponsible. It's only 8 hours, I kept telling myself. Only 8 hours. And then an hour long commute to and from during rush hour so you’d be packed in between a bunch of hot, sweaty strangers in business suits or school uniforms. My so-called pep talk had failed miserably and for now I settled on reaching into my purse to retrieve my headphones and block out the world before I became more frustrated and grumpy at the irritating commuters. Without stopping, I fished around for them but when I pulled them out they were a jumbled mess. I scoffed loudly, ready to scream at my first world problems and inconveniences. As I fumbled through the knots and twists I heard a voice behind me.

“Hey beautiful stranger.”

I rolled my eyes. Fucking annoying cat callers. This early? I didn’t even look that good. They would go for anything with a pulse if it meant getting off on harassment. I ignored the voice and continued on my way, staring down the tracks and waiting for my day to be over.

April 18

I managed to wake up to my alarm this time. There was no rushing or haphazard throwing on of clothes. There was even enough time to stop at a food cart on the sidewalk and get a cup of coffee and a bagel. Starbucks was way too expensive for me and I saw it as a delicacy. The street carts ran by immigrants, though not the most top notch as far as health codes, reminded me of my childhood home. My mom knew all the cart owners and spoke to them everyday, on the corner, on her way to work, when we walked through the city and got hot dogs, all of it gave me a spark of happiness to start my day. I recalled how weird I was as a kid. I never wanted to eat the hot dog buns. Instead my favorite cart owner would wrap two hot dogs in aluminum foil for me, always laughing at my pickiness. After a ruffle of my hair my mother and I would be back on our way, continuing our shopping or park adventures.

I liked mornings like this where I could cherish the little things. It made me feel somewhat less lonely. My small and overpriced apartment was always empty save for myself. I spent nights either quietly on the couch or sometimes going out but it all still felt empty and like a routine. These moments reminded me that I was actually alive, a semi functioning person who had some cosmic role in this universe. Or maybe I was just a weirdo enjoying her bagel.

My descent on the subway stairs wasn’t as lively as yesterday. For whatever reason there was somewhat more room on the platform. I started heading to my usual waiting spot when I heard that voice again.

“Hey beautiful stranger.” It couldn’t have been the same catcaller from yesterday? What were the odds of that? Unless he had the same morning commute I did. That would be weird but it was the city and plenty of people had jobs to get to. That still didn't give him permission to try and cat call me. I turned to look back at the voice and was taken aback with surprise.

He was young, around my age, his brown hair a little greasy from days unwashed but he was beautiful. He was smiling brightly, making his small eyes close and crinkle. It seemed so genuine for a homeless person. 

I didn’t know why he was happy sitting on a dity blanket in a subway with a small cup in front of him. His only possession beside his backpack was a good sized keyboard that laid across his lap. A homeless performer. That was common down here. Sometimes it was the only way for them to make a buck or two and hope that it was enough for some food. His sweetness made me stop then I looked at the cup rather guiltily. I didn’t care to give him any money; hell i had no idea if i had spare change or singles. Instead I gave him a tight lipped smile which he responded to with a slight nod.

I began my walking once more, a little faster this time. I wanted to get away from him. Sometimes seeing homeless people irritated me, sometimes hearing the homeless performers drove me mad because the subway was already chaotic and I just wanted some peace. But he made me feel something else and for whatever reason I felt tears prickling at my eyes.

April 19

“Hey beautiful stranger.”

I stopped and turned towards him, staring him down. His eyes were still bright. His smile was still warm. What the fuck did he have to smile about? His cup was only filled with two pennies. He couldn’t do anything about that. So why did he seem so...happy?

“What do you keep saying that?” I decided to speak to him.

“Because it’s true.” His fingers pressed down against a few keys creating a beautiful little melody.

“Do you say that to every girl that passes by? Like to try and get them to give you money.”

He shook his head. “Nope. Just you.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s true.” He repeated.

My cheeks flushed in an embarrassing way and I hoped he hadn’t noticed. “Well I’m not giving you any money. You shouldn’t guilt people into doing that. I know you guys can blow up as soon as someone denies you.”

“‘You guys’?” He didn’t stop playing nor did he look up at me from his seated position. “What do you mean by that?”

“Like...um…” My voice softened as if the word was a slur. “You know, you homeless guys.”

He laughed. It was an awkward laugh yet it almost made me want to start laughing. Infectious. “I’m not trying to guilt you. I just hope you have a nice day.”

I was taken aback. He wanted me to have a good day while he probably sat here for hours with nothing to do but play his keyboard. I had no idea how to respond and that was when he finally lifted his eyes. Warm again. Warmth and sweetness like the perfect cup of coffee on a winter day. The kind that makes you grip both your hands around it tight and blow through the little hole on the cover until you were able to taste the cream and sugar without burning yourself. It was like a recharge of energy.

The banging and rocking of the train suddenly appeared in the background. It was my train and if I didn’t leave now I would miss it. I couldn’t hear what he said through the noise but his lips moved around those words again. Beautiful Stranger.

April 25th

He was there everyday and I ignored him everyday. My headphones were always in and I tried to keep my head forward. I never had my music playing. Without missing a beat my eyes would shift towards him as I passed by. Those full lips never failed to curl into a smile. His favorite words to me were always said. Eventually I wanted to hear those words as much as possible.

April 26

“Hi.” I greeted him this time.

His eyes widened when he saw me. “Hey beautiful stranger.”

I kneeled down and held out a five dollar bill. It felt weird to put it in the battered coffee cup when he was sitting right there and I had struck up the conversation. He stared at it for a while as if he was reluctant to take it from me. “You don’t have to.” His voice was so low, so small, so ashamed.

“It’s okay. Take it.”

When his hand didn’t move from the keyboard I grabbed it, turning his palm upward and setting the money in it. His hand was rough. Calloused. Dry. But his fingers were delicate. I found myself focusing on them as they curled around the bill. His gaze was still in his lap and with the same tone he whispered a thank you.

The train barreled into the station earlier than I expected. My time was up and I couldn't say more to him. I rose to my feet and bit my lip as if I was nervous to ask someone on a date. I wondered why I felt nervous. There wasn’t anything to be nervous about. Maybe it was because I didn’t want him to feel like it was charity. Was it charity anyway since he was technically asking for it and I responded? The cup was an invitation for exchanges and yet from his reaction I realized that he wasn’t happy. Of course not. He didn’t want to be asking for money but he still wanted to be positive, if not for himself then to spread it to the people around him.

May 1

As I shuffled down the stairs amongst a crowd of people I noticed him. He wasn't awake or playing his keyboard. Instead he was curled up on his dirty blanket, fist wrapped tightly around the strap of the case to his prized possession. The hood from his sweater was inching off his head with every shift of his body and his eyes kept squeezing shut as if to block out the bright lights above him. I don't know why I found it strange. He needed sleep at some point but I never thought that he would be sleeping here.

I stopped beside him and removed my headphones. "Hey...are you ok?"

His eyes opened instantly though they still strained against the fluorescence above me. "Hey beautiful stranger." His voice was lower, scratchy with sleep. The dark circles beneath his eyes were deeper and his cheeks looked more sunken.

"You don't look so good." I squatted down to his level to get a closer look at him. "You aren't playing your keyboard."

"No inspiration today." He mumbled.

"Your cup isn't out either…"

"What's the point? I get ignored anyway." All the positivity he had seemed to have drained away faster than rain in a sewage gate.

"I'm not ignoring you, am i?"

"You're different." He turned his gaze upwards and finally the faintest of smiles was on his lips. "The lights make you look like an angel."

I looked towards the ceiling at the rows of lights above then back at him. "Trust me i'm no angel."

"You are. You just don't know it yet."

I changed the subject quickly. His compliments, though sweet, seemed off, as if he was fading from this world. "Are you ok?" I asked again. I could see his eyes watering slightly and instead of looking at my face he was now fixated on my morning bagel. "Are you hungry?"

He shoved his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and shrugged quietly. Against the normal ruckus of the subway station I could hear his stomach growling. "When was the last time you ate?"

"It's fine. You're gonna be late. Just go." It was unlike him to sound this harsh.

"Please answer me." I was concerned now. I had never been concerned about a homeless person on the street. There wasn't anything I could do to make their lives easier, or so I thought.

"I dont know...two days maybe?"

"Two days?!" I practically shrieked. "How have you not eaten for two days?"

He glared at me instantly. "I told you. I'm ignored. People dont give a fuck about me. I try my damndest and get nowhere...not anywhere...nothing."

Maybe that was why his cup was gone. Not enough money to sustain what little he had. I held out my bagel to him. "Take this."

"No."

"Take it."

"I dont want your fucking bagel."

The first time I truly touched him, touched his soul even; a gentle graze against the stubble on his chin to lift his head. "Take it. Please. My coffee too."

His lips trembled as a few tears fell. He wanted to be strong. He really did. He wanted to try his best and survive and yet he couldn't. We were all trying to survive, in our own way, on our own level of importance. His resolve was gone as he took the food from me with a small sniffle. My train was coming now. "Will you be here after five?"

He scoffed slightly. "Where else would I have to be?"

"Just stay here ok? I'll come back." I promised. I already had an idea of how I wanted to help him further. My investment in him still baffled me but I decided to pursue it. The gratefulness on his face when he took that first bite was enough to solidify my resolution.

May 1, evening

The first night I sat with him. I set out a small picnic of granola bars, apples, a couple bottles of water, a cold sandwich I had gotten from a local deli and a bag of chips. Of course he rejected it at first. I told him it wasn't much but it was all I could do for now. He said he didn't know how to thank me. Maybe he would write a song for me one day. Play it for me as I walked by so he knew he had been waiting for me. Hey beautiful stranger. He laughed at my suggested title.

"Yeah, hey beautiful stranger...hey beautiful angel."

May 15

I found myself waking up earlier and earlier just so I could have enough time to talk to him before my train arrived. I would sit beside him on his blanket, knees to my chest as I listened. His name was Johnny and he had been a college student studying music. He had a good life. He had friends he made music with, he had a family he spoke to, he had love in his life. But then he lost his job and his roommates moved out without a warning. He couldn’t pay for the expensive apartment on his own. He tried and tried to get another job somewhere, anywhere. He had decent qualifications so why wouldn’t anyone accept him? Rent got behind and he sold everything he had to try and make due, everything except his keyboard.

His parents had gifted it to him when he got accepted into college. It was the one thing that meant the world to him. I loved to watch him play. Sometimes when I came to visit him he would show me a new piece that he thought of. Said I was his muse. I didn’t think I had done anything inspirational or artistic enough to warrant a song being produced about me but Johnny did. Occasionally I would catch him scribbling in a small notebook that he had but whenever I questioned him about it he would hold it far away from me. It always made me laugh that he was shy about his creativity but my curiosity grew with each moment his stub of a pencil touched paper.

“How do I even inspire you? I’m not special.” I said on this day as I tried to make a grab for the notebook teasingly.

He kept it against his chest and shoved me away gently. “That’s not true. Of course you’re special. You’re the only person that sees me.”

“Sees you? Everyone can see you. You’re right here.”

“No, you see me. You know I'm real.”

A silence fell between us. It wasn’t uncomfortable but rather a sudden overwhelming sadness. He wanted to be seen. He wanted the world to see him yet I was the only one. Was I his world?

“Do your parent’s know about you...about this I mean?” I said finally.

“No...I’m too embarrassed to talk to them. Not that I could anyway. I don’t have a phone. I know they would be disappointed in me. I haven’t been able to save up enough money to go back either. So I'm just,” He shrugged and sighed deeply. “Stuck.”

“Is this the only way you make money? Or try to?” I looked at the cup that had a few more coins than it did yesterday.

“Yeah...I’m also too embarrassed to ask people outright. Like, you know when you’re on the train and people go through the cars and ask? I can’t do that. I tried once and it felt even worse than anything i could ever imagine. I felt so...pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic, johnny. You’re far from it. You’re someone. You’re someone’s someone.”

“Am I your someone?”

I straightened up quickly. “M-my someone? I-I just meant like-”

“Or do you have someone?” His grip on the notebook grew tighter as his lips turned into a thin line. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I just-ignore what I said, please.”

This was the part in our routine where the train came and I left him. I really wasn’t sure what to say. I had been someone’s someone before. Someone's that never lasted, never cared, never let me live. Romantic someones. But who was Johnny’s someone? I was the only friend he had. When he couch hopped after he was evicted he had friends-until they got tired of him not being able to find work. I considered us friends, better than those people who left him. But what could I do?

“I gotta go…” I said just as soft as he had the first time I gave him money.

He never responded and I got on the train that day feeling strange. I was lucky enough to grab a seat and as I sat down and squeezed my purse to my chest I wondered what he felt. It couldn’t be love or anything like that. That was preposterous. I liked him as a friend, as someone I talked to everyday, as someone I had gone accustomed to. But what if he had grown too attached to me? Was that healthy for him? He was always hiding behind a smile. There wasn’t really telling what level his mental health was on. He could see me as someone to cling to and maybe if I left him his heart would be broken. I wanted him to find success on his own. Of course, I would support him but I didn’t want to be a crutch.

I rubbed my forehead as I felt a tension headache starting to come through. I was overthinking this. He just needed a friend, I was his friend, end of story. He was a genuine person but there wasn’t any way I could be interested in him like that. It just wouldn’t work. I felt a little bad thinking that but it is what it is. We were just friends.

June 2

17 days. I hadn’t seen him for 17 days. I worried so much that sometimes I would cry at night for him, which surprised me. It was normal to be worried for a friend but to cry? I guess it couldn’t be helped. He could be dead. He could be gutted somewhere and no one would find him. He wouldn’t even be able to have a funeral. He would stay forgotten like he was afraid to be. I wish I could call him, speak with him, hell even send him a letter. Anything that would let me know he was okay. Alive and as well as he could be.

I curled up on my side and pulled my thin bed sheet over me. The rain outside had made the city much colder. What if he was stuck in the rain? What if he couldn’t find anywhere to hide? Silent tears continued to fall down my face and as a lightning bolt struck I fell into another cycle of scary thoughts. “Please…” I hiccuped. “Please just give me a sign that he’s okay.” I said out loud to my darkened bedroom. It was some sort of prayer. Not a religious one but something for the universe to hear. I hoped the wind could help my words travel. Spin and turn and twirl around buildings, weave through people, and finally fall on Johnny’s ears.

June 7

I dropped my coffee onto the platform. The milky brown liquid swam into cracks and splattered onto shined leather shoes and heels. The expletives and damnations fell on deaf ears. I couldn’t believe it. I ran to him, crashing into his chest and forcing him to take a step back. “What the-?” He realized it was me then and his tension relaxed. His large hand fell on top of my head and I heard his heartbeat increase against my ear. “Hey beautiful stranger.”

I pulled away and landed a punch to his bicep. “What the hell is wrong with you?! I haven’t seen you in weeks! I was so fuckin-”

He pressed a finger to his lips, shushing me before he giggled. “You’re making everyone think you’re crazy. Calm down.”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down!” I pouted and looked away as my eyes watered. I blinked the tears away quickly and sniffed. “I was just worried.” I said quietly. “I didn’t know where you were or if you were hurt…”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you or anything. I’m not used to people caring this much.” He set his keyboard case against the wall and his backpack on the ground. He hunkered down and unzipped it, pulling out the blanket he always sat on, only this time it was a lot cleaner. He opened it up and laid it on the platform before sitting down and patting the space beside him. I quickly joined him and pouted. 

“You made me drop my coffee.”

“I’m sorry. Let’s say I owe you one, ok?”

“Where did you even go?”

“Well, I got word of this place that helps homeless people try and get jobs. So I got one but it was temporary. Nothing really came of it even though I showed up everyday on time and did what I needed to do. It was bullshit. I made some money though and even slept in a motel. It was awesome.”

“Motel’s have phones, you know.”

“Yes but Johnny’s doesn't have beautiful stranger’s phone numbers.”

“Hush.” I nudged him, knowing that he was right. “Give me your notebook and I’ll write it down.”

He reached into his bag and dug around for it before squinting at me. “You’re trying to see what i've written, aren't you?”

“Me? No! This is for emergencies! My phone number, you know!”

“Then tell me it, I’ll write it down myself.” He hunched over the notebook and made sure I couldn’t see anything.

I giggled and leaned over his back, trying to reach for it. “Johnnnyyyy! Come on! Just let me see it once! Have you finished the song?!"

He turned his head and because I was so close his lips stopped mere centimeters before mine. He sat silent and contemplating and yet I was the first to pull away. "S-sorry." I said meekly. 

"No, no. It's okay. I was...um…" He held out his notebook and the pen and I jotted my number down quickly.

"Don't forget me now, ok?"

"I won't ever forget you. I thought about you all the time. I had this stupid dream that you waited for me here everyday." He laughed solemnly. "Its kind of dumb."

"I did, on occasion, for as long as I could before I had to get on the train. Sometimes I waited for a bit when I got off work."

"Really?" Johnny's eyes widened in shock.

I nodded. "I don't know...I was just worried but I said that already."

"It makes me happy that you care. Really happy." He smiled for just a second as it quickly turned into a frown. "The train's here. I dont want you to miss it."

"I'm not going to work."

"What do you mean? You have to. I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Eh, I'll call in sick or something. I think I want to spend the day with you." I said.

"With me? What the hell for? You wanna sit on a dirty ground until your ass goes numb?"

"No I want to eat, go to the park, maybe get some ice cream….with you."

He sighed and leaned back against the wall. "I haven't really done anything like that in ages. Just spending the day having fun."

"Then let me remind you, Johnny. Come have fun with me."

"I can't…" He replied. "I don't have much money left."

"I don't care about that. I'll treat you."

"No." He said sternly.

"Johnny, it's ok. I don't mind."

"I don't want you wasting your money on me."

"It's not wasting money when you're with a friend. Were friends, right? I mean we better be since I've talked to you almost every day for like 2 months."

"Yeah, we were friends but…"

"No buts. Please?" I held onto his arm and leaned my head on his shoulder making comically puppy dog eyes and pouting. "Please?"

"Ok. I'll do it. But only if you stop looking at me like that."

"That's my "i get what I want" face. It never worked once on my mom. Glad it worked on you." I bounced to my feet and held out my hand to help him up. He grabbed it and hauled himself up before stuffing the blanket back in his bag. "Your stuff must be heavy. Do you want to drop it off at my place?"

"Your place? Your house? Like me, go where you live?" Johnny asked as if he was frightened.

"Yes? What's wrong with that?"

"You trust me enough to do that?"

"Well youre not gonna murder me are you? If you were I'm sure you would have done it a hell of a lot sooner."

"No, im not going to murder you." Johnny replied as he rolled his eyes. "Just that...the last time i was at a friends house i was getting kicked out."

"I'm not kicking you out, I'm inviting you in, silly." I took his hand in mine and tugged on it just a little. "Come on."

He grabbed his belongings and followed as I led him out of the subway station. This was the first time I had seen him outside, in the sunlight that beamed through the city pollution. He was even more beautiful to me now. His skin glowed like warm amber and his eyes had honeyed as the light refracted through them. I had always thought he was good looking but why did he seem so ethereal now? I almost missed the stoop to my apartment from staring at him for so long. I hoped he hadn't noticed. "It's here," I announced to not only to stop myself from being a creep but to alert Johnny that he almost walked too far as well.

I set the key in the lock of the front door and opened it, allowing him to walk through first. After three torturous flights of stairs we arrived at my tiny apartment that seemed like a room more than anything. "Well...this is it. Sorry it's not great or anything."

"It's amazing." He set his keyboard and backpack down and looked around in bewilderment, like he had never seen a home before. "It's cool that you have your own place."

"Rent is not cool. And neither are utility bills." I joked. "City living is shit."

Johnny shrugged. "Expenses aside it's not too bad. I lived in the suburbs as a kid and came to the city for school."

"I've lived here all my life and I'm still over it."

He chuckled and shoved his hands in his pockets. "So...we're here. My stuffs here...what do we do?"

"Do you want to freshen up or something? If you have clothes to wash I can do that for you."

Johnny looked down at his outfit; faded and torn jeans, a dull grey-green shirt, and a hoodie tied around his waist. "Oh." He bent his feet on their sides and rocked a little. "I guess I should look somewhat better if we're gonna go out together."

"You look fine! I just meant if you wanted to shower or something! I'm assuming it's kind of a luxury?" I winced at my words, hoping I didn't sound offensive.

"Better than me bending over a sink in a mcdonald's bathroom that's for sure. But if you're offering then that would be pretty cool. You don't have to wash my stuff though. I'd feel weird if you'd do all that for me."

"It's nothing," I shrugged. "Just leave your clothes outside the bathroom door. Do you have any other clothes in your backpack?"

"Uh.. " He rubbed the back of his neck and laughed nervously. "Dirty underwear."

"Oh please." I waved it off. "Use whatever you want and I'll load the laundry as you shower."

"Well...alright…" He kicked off his shoes and carefully walked towards the direction of the bathroom as if he was still too scared to be here. I made sure he had everything he needed before I grabbed the clothes he took off and left outside the bathroom door. After, I went to his bag to get the rest of the laundry. I set his blanket aside as I figured I'd wash that as well before finding his underwear and some socks. While rifling through his bag I saw his notebook and temptation struck. I could read it. I could find out what he thought about me, what he wrote about me, the songs or poems he created. But I didn't.

June 7, evening

First we got breakfast. It was a little more advanced than the normal bagels and coffee we exchanged; pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast. He scarfed it down in minutes, trying not to talk in between bites though he wanted to tell me all his adventures. He didn't stop hustling even as he worked. Once he clocked out he put away his nicer clothes in exchange for his normal ragged jeans and t-shirt and went onto street corners and other stations to play. 

That area wasn't as bustling as it was here. Occasionally people would stop to listen to him and he once earned 20 bucks in one week. A new record, he said. He was proud of that. Proud to have an audience, to capture people's attention again. To feel like someone. But still not someone's someone. That phrase had resonated with him since I said it. I hadn't even given thought to the impact it would bring. Words just flowed freely when I was around him and I felt every syllable. He wanted to find the person he could be someone for. Maybe magically while he was playing on the street or bumping into them on the sidewalk. He was a bit of a romantic and said if he were to ever star in a movie he'd want to in a romantic comedy.

Goofy. A klutzy little thing. Giggling and tripping on air as we trailed along the park after breakfast. I thought about holding his hand. His fingers had become a fascination to me. Piano fingers. Stretching across keys from pinky to thumb. Hands that seemed warm to the touch but when I brushed against him they were cold as ice. He said he was always cold no matter what the temperature was, like his body couldn't produce enough heat to save his life. It contrasted to my constant warmth and I offered him my hand to feel.

My previous thoughts had come true as he took my hands in his. Mine seemed to disappear beneath his fingers and while I focused on our skinship he was gushing about our temperature differences. My heart skipped a beat. A millisecond off rhythm yet alarming enough for me to realize that his charm and sweetness was deadly. The beats continued to be off as he dropped my hands yet remained as close as possible to me. What did he have to talk about? Everything. Anything. He just wanted to be heard. I couldn't focus on anything but him and that was a problem.

I took his picture by the small pond of the park. He outstretched his arms and closed his eyes, tilting his head back and shouting "I'm the king of the world!" as if he were on the titanic. It took several tries for him to be serious enough for me to get a steady picture and in the end he opted for a picture of us together. He had the longer arms so of course he held the phone out, thumb poised above the circle button as we got into our pose. I leaned my head close to his chest and made a small peace sign. Our smiles captured our summer ridiculousness and preciousness of our moments together.

I told him when he was able to get a phone I would send it to him so he could have it too. He had wanted to keep his old phone, even without the service, to look back on the things he'd done and people he spent time with but when the feelings got to be too much to bear and the money was scarce he sold it. He missed it. He liked taking pictures. Scenery, his friends, dogs especially. He went wild for all the dogs walking around the park. He always asked the owners if he could pet them. He was like a kid at the zoo, all excited for cuteness and rough licks. Sometimes I would have to tear him away from them as I could sense the owner's irritations of how long he wanted to stay with their pets.

Ice-ys were next; the cold semi solid that wasn't quite ice cream but soft enough to melt in your mouth the moment it touched your tongue. They were doused with saccharine sweetness that I'm sure was from corn syrup but made them delicious nonetheless. I told him my own stories of how when i was young i HAD to get rainbow flavored. My mom always asked what the rainbow tasted like (technically cherry but dyed in different colors) but i always made up some imaginative mystery flavor that changed each time. He liked my memories. Said they brought about his own. When he was happy with his mother, always following her and never leaving her side. He was a mama's boy and wasn't afraid to admit it. I thought that was cute. Supposedly mama's boys were supposed to treat women better though i wasn't sure how true that was. We walked along the rest of the park until we reached the playground. It was beaming with children but in the waves of screams and giggles we found solace on a pair of swings.

We swayed back and forth gently, finishing our ice-ys. I had upgraded my rainbow flavor for the definitely more adult flavor of coconut while he chose something akin to cotton candy. The breeze rolled in making suffering in the summer heat a little less miserable. But as the sun set and the night grew cooler I jumped at the idea of heading to one of my favorite bars.

"A bar? Holy shit." He laughed as if it was some magical land. "Getting shitfaced sounds great right about now." It was only because he was riding on the wave of happiness after being so long in the dark. That perfect smile was genuine now, no longer a facade to hide his pain. He wasn't much of a partier in college but when he did go he went all out. He was Mr. Social Butterfly, spinning around from girl to girl or high fiving friends and strangers. Sometimes he would get lucky. "Ah, sorry…" he was abashed now. "I probably shouldn't talk about that. Makes me sound like a fuck boy."

I shrugged. "We all have our hoe moments."

We both laughed at my comments and slipped inside the semi dim bar. It was more of a music venue. Bands would play calming music and it had a chill vibe. There was rarely a time where someone acted out and it was honestly the best place to relax at. Johnny loved the music as soon as it met his ears. It was jazzy, bassy, paired with smooth vocals of a woman whose abundance of curls sat like a royal crown on her head. He started to sway a bit while I turned to the bartender and ordered us two beers. "Do you want to go sit at that table?" I nodded in the direction of a corner that was just barely illuminated by a hazy purple light. He agreed and we made our way over, sitting down and beginning to sip away our troubles.

I couldn't even remember how long we stayed there. We were way past the amount of alcohol we should have had and our conversation turned into nothing but giggle fits and touching. My hand would meet his and hed stroke the back of it or entwine our fingers until the intimate moment made him back away. I didn't mind it at all. I was starting to fall in love with his fingers. As my eyes closed to soak in the music I could see his fingers trailing over my naked body as he kissed a heated traill against my skin. I came crashing down instantly to pull myself from that thought. What the hell was that? Why would I even think of such a thing? It was the alcohol. Of course it was. I always had the potential of getting handsy when I drank. It was a logical explanation to an illogical thought.

"I should uh, get going." He chuckled softly. "I had a really nice time today though. Amazing even." His eyes smiled at me and my heart dropped into my stomach. No. Please dont look at me like that. With those eyes I've seen cry and think and pray for a better day. I tried to make today that day and seemed to have succeeded but I didn't want to let him go.

I shook my head quickly. "You're not going back to the subway station. No way."

"Well i have to get my stuff back at your place but i have to go back sometime."

"No...stay…" i thought that he hadn't heard me over the music and the nearby conversations but he had.

"Stay? With you in your apartment?" There he was with those incredulous questions, shocked at caring gestures that i'm sure had underlying selfishness.

I nodded this time. "I don't mind. I want you to stay tonight."

"I...uh…" he wanted to protest. It was easy to see but his mouth snapped shut and he wouldn't look me in the eye. He returned my nod, keeping his head down.

I slid out of the chair, standing on wobbly feet and extended my hand towards him. He took it and our swaying bodies made our way outside only to be smacked by a torrential downpour. It was a full on waterfall from the sky and Johnny and I were soaked in seconds. I frantically looked around for some sort of shelter as the bar was hitting towards closing time. Around the corner was the back door to the bar that was barely covered by an awning. I dragged Johnny towards it and we plastered ourselves together, shivering harshly. "What should we do?!" He asked.

It was almost hard to hear him through the rush of rain. "We can't walk to the subway and take the train. We'd be soaked even more!" I realized that we weren't even an inch apart when he looked at me, searching for a normal solution to our current problem while I zeroed in on his lips. 

He licked them like a nervous habit. "Do you have enough for an uber?"

"I should!" I had paid a semi hefty amount for our plethora of drinks but i was sure i could afford it. Johnny hovered over me, trying to assist in protecting my phone from any water that might fall on it as I tapped open the app. I could feel the soft puffs of breath he produced against my cheek and it was like he was even closer to me if it were possible. "It's about ten minutes away." I said softly.

"C-cool." He replied through chattering teeth. "We seriously need to get warm."

I swallowed hard. "Y-yeah. Maybe some coffee will help sober us up when we get back to my place."

"Sobering up is good. We should definitely do that." He chuckled.

We fell silent. I could hear my heart thundering and feel Johnny's as I pressed my hand to his chest. He became curious at my actions and with a tilt of his head confidence washed over me as hard as the rain had. The moment our lips met he cupped my face in his large hands, holding me as if he would never dare to let go. We were hungry for each other. Desperate for our tongues to meld and lips to tear into moments that would freeze in time. I fisted his soaked shirt in my hands before they snaked around his neck while his fell to my hips. Fingertips dug into my jeans like he was clawing at me. I was lost in him and it wasn't until the buzzing of my phone broke us apart. The driver had messaged me that he was in front of the bar and was ready to go. 

Johnny cleared his throat but stayed quiet as he walked into the rain again and slid into the car, soaking the poor driver's backseat. As the ride progressed I looked over at Johnny but he was focused on staring at the blurry city lights outside the window. My mind was suddenly plagued with thoughts of him feeling potentially regretful. But he had initiated it and I reciprocated...was that bad?

By the time we arrived at my apartment it was no longer a torrent but still quite heavy. We ran as fast as we could to get inside. Our bones were still trembling but he went to the bathroom while I went to my room to discard the clothes that were now stuck like a second skin. I left him some oversized sweats that I had for him to put on while I shuffled quickly into a hoodie and shorts. While I waited for him to finish getting dressed, I started on two cups of instant decaf. Just as they finished and I was heading towards my couch Johnny sat down and graciously took the mug from me. After a few sips we both gained warmth but still felt the awkward presence that lingered between us from our interrupted kiss.

He started the conversation we both didn't seem to want to have. "I'm sorry about the kiss. I crossed a line and-"

"I wanted it." I cut him off. "This whole day...i-i don't know what it is about you but there's something. At the bar when we touched, on the swings at the park, listening to all your memories. I don't know what to think about you anymore."

His mouth hung open and he stared at me like a wide eyed rabbit. "I uh...um…you dont-we shouldn't…" He seemed to have no idea how to form the words he wanted to say but when i heard the negative conjunction my stomach started to twist into knots. "I'm not good for you."

"Says who?" I scoffed.

"You know i'm not. You don't need someone like me. You need someone who can take care of you and support you. I'm a good for nothing."

"Shut up." I snapped. "I've never thought of you like that."

"Yes you have. When we first met. You wanted to ignore me. You thought I was a nuisance. You can't lie to me about that. I know that feeling all too well."

He was right. I had felt that initially but it had been so long that it seemed like it never existed in my mind. "You're right but i don't think that now, Johnny. And if i say i want you then i want you." I set my coffee cup down again and scooted closer to him but he backed away instantly.

"Please...don't do this. I can't handle something like this. It's…"

I took his hand in mind and looked into his eyes, silently begging him to see what I saw in him. He was going to be someone's someone...perhaps even mine…

His voice was trembling and he pulled away from me to cover his face. I couldn't bear to see him cry again but if he truly didn't want me then there was nothing I could do except hurt in secret. "I don't want something good to come into my life then leave again…" He said after swallowing his fear.

"I wouldn't leave you...you said I see you remember?" I laid my head on his shoulder and took his hand back to fold our fingers together. "You're as bright as the sun."

"Only when I'm with you. I feel so human it's insane."

"Will you please stay with me tonight? I'd worry so much if you left now." I said softly.

Johnny still seemed hesitant but he had relaxed more as he felt our skin against each other. "O-okay. I'll stay but um...should i just sleep on the couch?"

I looked up at him and chuckled. "Well...i wouldn't mind continuing what we started at the bar...in my room." The remnants of the alcohol had made me a bit bold but I wanted him to continue with his emotions of humanity. I wanted us to feel each other like we both needed something so desperately to hold onto. That vision I had at the bar had replayed in my mind a few times since we had gotten home and I couldn't seem to shake the need. To have his body against mine, to feel him inside me, so deep he could rut into my heart and see the bubbling culmination of confusion that had been brewing there. I too was scared but willing to share a sliver of passion and end to hopelessness.

Johnny returned my giggles and tried not to look at me. "It's been awhile. It's gonna be so bad. Like really bad."

I shook my head. "I don't think so. It's been awhile for me too so we can both be awkward about it." I found a smidge of comfort in his lack of confidence. At least we shared that in the moment.

"Fuck…" He breathed out. "You really want me?"

"Stop finding it so hard to believe that you’re worth attention and attraction and...um...well...sex." The shyness was definitely hitting now.

He set an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me to him. "You're insane, you know that?"

"You can keep your wrong opinions to yourself, mister. But in all seriousness if you don't want to, i understand." The sudden realization that I was perhaps pressuring him hit and I began to backpedal. I was coming on too strong, too hooked on the physical though still tethered to the emotional. Maybe I was in too deep. The uncertainty was getting unbearable at this point.

"N-no, um,...it's cool. Yeah, uh, let's do...it." he laughed nervously.

I was the first to stand up and led him to my room. He followed a few paces behind, still cautious but when we got under the covers to face each other it seemed to ease both our souls. It was the biggest sense of comfort to be beside him. His long limbs wrapped around me and the coziness of my comforter provided the perfect amount of warmth to the echoes of our icy skin. When our lips finally met again it was almost as if they had never separated in the first place. Our breaths were shared between our tongues and I clutched onto him. He let out the softest of moans when he shifted me onto my back and my fingers dug into his shoulder blades more.

With our bodies plastered together the urge to see him naked took over and I slowly began to move my hands down his back and beneath his shirt. He jerked away, a little breathless but alarmed. "Can i uh...keep my shirt on?"

No man had ever asked me that before. "What? Why?"

"I’m kinda like...scrawny now and i'm pretty sure i don't look as good as i used to."

"O-oh...well if it makes you feel better though i think you look handsome."

He dove his head into the crook of my neck disguising his embarrassment with fragile kisses. I could feel how weak his body was but I didn't care. I would take care of him now. I never wanted to see the look on his face like when he felt so defeated and hesitant to take that bagel from me. I turned my head slightly to press my lips to his forehead and comb my fingers through his damp hair. "But," I continued. "You can do whatever you feel most comfortable with."

He nodded and settled against my chest, curling against my side and starting to rub the soft flesh of my stomach. With just a tilt of his head he connected us again only this time we were much slower. A tingle slithered up my spine as I felt his fingers trickle downward to pry beneath my shorts. I swallowed hard and spread my thighs, allowing his hand more room to work. Our eyes met and shared the tentativeness as the first of his fingers worked a minuscule stroke between my lower lips. I sighed softly as I sunk back onto the mattress and willed my body to relax, to accept the fact that he was almost too pure to corrupt. He was ready for it and spent his time gauging all of my reactions to his wandering fingers.

Whimpers and mewls followed the curious curls of his fingertips within me. His exploring was trying to find spots that increased those sounds yet he seemed to miss the mark each time. Gently I grabbed a hold of his wrist with one hand and guided the flow of his fingers with the other. With each command he grew accustomed to what I desired until I was gripping onto his sweatshirt with the prospect of an orgasm. "I want to make you feel so good…" he said so faintly i almost didn't hear it but when i caught the words i nodded quickly and arched my back slightly to create a pathway for more intense and deeper penetration. "I-is it o-okay if i make you wait a little longer?"

At first I only cracked one eye open, annoyed at the fact that his fingers were slowing down but then I saw the burning crimson across his cheeks. "Is it because you want to do it together?"

He gave me the smallest of nods. "If we can…"

I could accept his offer for trying to sync our orgasms though I was sure it might be nearly impossible given our natural biology. However, it meant more intimacy between him and I wanted that more than anything. I told him it was alright and he pulled his fingers out slowly, admiring the way I had coated them, already having been excited from our kisses. Meanwhile I rummaged through the drawer of my nightstand to find the few condoms I had scattered across the bottom of it. They had been forgotten but not expired thankfully. "Do you want me to help you or…?"

Johnny's head snapped up and his eyes zeroed in on the foil. He snatched it up quickly and turned away from me to fumble through rolling the condom on. Before I could even see him he was under the covers but had thrown his sweatpants aside. "Have you always been this shy?" I asked and I slipped in beside him.

"No. I was more confident before. Now i just...i don't know."

"You're not going to mess up or anything. I just want to feel you. I don't care about having some perfect experience. Sex should’nt be about perfection it should be about bringing us closer."

"Stop saying things like that or else i'm gonna fall in love with you." His eyes widened and he started to stumble over an excuse but I pulled him in for a kiss while my hand stroked over him, the lube from the condom making it easier. Faint moans fell onto my tongue in between small gasps of breaths. He felt different then what I thought he would. Though his body looked fragile he seemed to fill up my hand completely. Small doubts pricked at my mind and I wondered if I could even accept all of him.

"Will you go slow at first?" I wondered out loud. 

Johnny brows furrowed as my thumb swiped over the ridge of his head and back down again. "Of course. I'll do-" A hitch caught his throat and he quickly fisted the comforter. "I'll do whatever you want."

I pumped my hand faster, watching him crumble and tremble at every sensation. His face was a vision of beauty even through his slender features. The way those hues of pink and crimson still stained his olive cheeks was the cutest and complimented the rose of his lips, now coated with his tongue and glistening. And suddenly his front teeth dug into his bottom lip in the least sexiest way possible but it was so unbelievably adorable I couldn't help but smile. Here we were, trying to fuse our bodies together somehow and all i could think about was how much i was starting to never want him to leave. I didn't want him to go back to a dingy subway and suffer. I wanted him to stay in my arms, against my lips, inside me, caressing my face and looking at me with those warm honey eyes that crinkled when he smiled.

Where along the lines had I fallen for him? When had he become the person that made my heart swell so much i felt like i couldn't breathe? Months ago I couldn't be bothered with him and now he was all I craved.

"Y-you're staring at me…" he whispered.

My hand had apparently stopped stroking and I had rested my chin on his chest as I watched the emotions ebb and flow across his face. I perked my head up and exchanged glances between his face and my hand still wrapped around his shaft. "O-oh...uh…'' I was embarrassed now and panicking about what I should do. I had definitely taken all traces of sexiness from the moment as well. "S-sorry. I was being weird and didn't realize…"

"I mean, it still felt pretty good i just wasn't sure why you were staring...Do i look weird or something?"

I quickly shook my head. "N-no...the opposite. I think you're gorgeous."

He scoffed and looked away quickly. "Shouldn't i be saying that to you?"

I threaded my free hand through his hair and giggled. "I don't know...guess we can say it to each other. I know it's true on my end."

Johnny sighed softly and took my hand away from him. Instead he placed a kiss across the back of my knuckles before scooting onto his side to tug at my pajama shorts. We worked through groping limbs and almost hitting each other because we couldn't decide if he was going to take them off or was I. Trying to do it together was a mess but I was finally released and tossed my shirt along with them. "Oh wow." Was all he said and I quickly crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"A good wow?"

He nodded and beamed at me as he pulled me close. "Come here."

I fell into his arms and felt the squeezing hold around me. I clutched at his shirt as he slowly shifted on top of me. Instinctively I settled my legs on the outside of his hips. Soon I could feel him prodding against me as if he needed a map to find my entrance. He apologized as his shaky hand moved between us to guide his head in. I tried to hide my grunt of discomfort but he stopped immediately like a prey facing its hunter. "Am i hurting you?!"

I rubbed his back gently to reassure him. "No, I just need to get used to it all. Don't worry, you're fine."

He nodded again, falling silent and giving me moments in between to rest. It seemed like hours but eventually he ventured inside all the way and I could feel the sudden heaviness in my lower stomach. My eyes fluttered shut and my head arched back against the pillow as his lips comforted my neck with kisses and careless whispers, anything to divert my attention to pleasure. His thrusts were miniscule and cautious- perfectly matching his outward personality. Everything he did turned my body to jello and soon he could thrust freely and take my breath away.

That was it. We were finally lost to the outside world and could only feel each other. Our lips seemed glued together and Johnny had preferred our hands to be enveloped in lieu of digging into his shoulders. Our palms exchanged nervous sweats while conservative moans circled around our heads like buzzing bees to honey. It almost felt like our hearts were on the same rhythm too-fast and excited, strained with keeping blood flowing to the minimal space between us. His hips were pumping faster now, a pace i didn't expect but figured he was trying to chase his own sense of pleasure. And I wanted him to. I kind of forgot about my body and what I was "supposed" to feel. Instead I shut my eyes and relaxed my soul letting him plow away at emotions and pleasures. I was floating and I wanted to stay in this magical place forever.

His breaths became shallower, his groans hiccuped in his throat and he choked out an apology. He shuddered under the weight of release and I felt the warmth flow against my walls. I smiled when he collapsed on top of me, trying to regain himself yet snuggling against my chest. "I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"It felt nice…" i said rather truthfully. Perfectly imperfect.

"Yeah but...that- that's not how this is supposed to go. I'm supposed to make sure that you cum. I wanted you to feel good."

"And i do feel good. I swear it. I just want you here with me."

"Why are you so damn sweet? You shouldn't be like that. You'll get hurt."

"Oh and you're planning to hurt me?" I questioned.

That instantly toned him down. "No...im sorry...my head is...i wanted you to…" He gave up trying to express himself and laid back down on my chest. I kissed his forehead and adjusted the covers over us keeping us wrapped in a tight cocoon. "You're scaring me shitless, you know that?" Johnny whispered.

"Why's that?"

"Because I definitely have feelings for you now."

June 8th

The sun came and went and so did Johnny.

July 4th

I stared up at the fireworks that exploded into various colors and patterns. My friends were giggling and trying to talk over the noise but I didn't hear anything at all. My world had been silent for over a month now. I had slipped back into the same routine I had started months ago. Crying at night, hoping and praying that he was okay. A whole month had gone without a single sight or word from him. It was like he disappeared into thin air. Sometimes it felt like I almost dreamed him up. There were days where I actually believed he didn't exist. Had I shown the world some crazy side of me born from true loneliness? If Johnny was real then i definitely knew how he felt now. Putting on a happy face while inside your heart brewed dark and stormy clouds.

I would stare at his spot at the subway station as if it was a grave, only a sight for memories and nothing more. That was all he ever would be now. And unfortunately I realized too late that I loved him.

August 23

I hate him.

I hate him so fucking much.

He won't get out of my head.

Leave me alone.

I can't want you anymore.

You're not here.

You're not real.

You're gone.

September 2nd

Trying to move on was impossible but goddammit i tried. A few sparse dates here and there but I became so uninterested. Men were so grating and irritating and even the most normal and respectful man turned into a piece of paper I wanted to crumple up and step on. Most of the day I would spend looking out the window, imagining a world different from my own. Random couples on the street were replaced with Johnny and I. It was pathetic and I was starting to hate my own damn self.

My friends had noticed how gray I had become and eventually their attempts to cheer me up or get me dates dwindled. They thought I wasn't fun anymore. I would catch them giving me dirty stares or rolling their eyes, never texting me again. I was a downer, i knew that but i had never told anyone what had happened between Johnny and I. 

We were a secret. I didn't want us to be a secret but it just happened that way. No one knew that a homeless man had taken my heart for a whirlwind adventure.

November 30

You have one new voicemail

"H-hey, it's me. Uhh...well i know i haven't spoken to you in awhile. I haven't spoken to you at all actually. Um...t-that night, you know when we….you know, what i said was true and i got scared. Really fucking scared. I don't want to be with you until i'm good enough. That's the least you deserve.

Uh, well um...so a-anyway i just wanted to let you know i'm okay. I finally got the balls to make this call. I was afraid you wouldn't answer because you don't know this number. It's my mom's number. I somehow managed to make it to Chicago. I'm staying with them. I haven't told them about school or anything. Just lied and said i was taking a semester off to reevaluate my major-whatever fucking lie that was. I don't want to rely on them forever but I don't really know what to do once I leave either. I'll go back to being a piece of shit haha.

But anyway i'm okay, you know. Well i mean, now you do know because i just told you and- nevermind. Um...i'll try and call more often, okay? I would say i promise but...i seem to break those a lot. I know i hurt you but it's for the best this way, just for now. But I'm gonna get where I need to be. Just wait for me….please."

December 7

I didn’t torture myself with listening to the voicemail more than twice. I didn't erase it. I just left it and trained myself to ignore the fact that it was there. After all i had finally stopped crying myself to sleep yet this set me back majorly. I wanted to get back on track. Every time i thought i was close to moving on something minuscule happened-only this time a simple voicemail was earth shattering.

I stared up at the ceiling, another night alone in my otherwise empty bed. The tv was on low so i wouldn't feel like my apartment was empty. I thought about sneaking a cat in here once. Just to have some sort of company. I couldn't technically have pets but I would find a way. I was sure there was some cat just as lonely as I was hiding from the cold that I could take care of. I just had to pour my feelings into something more positive. Yeah. I could do that. Yeah...

I turned onto my side and closed my eyes, listening to the sitcom that filtered in. Zeroing on the conversation and fake laugh track actually put my mind at ease and for the first time in a long time i had fallen into a deep sleep.

December 16

Still hadn't found a cat, which sucked. I didn't blame them. The snow was getting worse. Inches thick and causing all kinds of dirty ice walls to appear along the side walks after being plowed. I didn’t have to face any of that today. It was my day off and thankfully I could curl up on my couch for hours on end. I started to surf through a pet finder website hoping that it might be better than going on a wild goose chase. Putting all my effort into searching for something that I could care for really helped. It was like its own version of therapy. I hunkered down more under the blankets, fluffing the pillow beneath my head to get more comfortable on my couch. I had taken on a smile as I saw a sweet kitten pop up on my search. She seemed perfect and I was instantly enamored by her bright green eyes. A saving grace.

Three raps pulled me out of my comfort zone and I tilted my head up wondering if it was my apartment door getting banged on or someone else's. The apartments were so close together it could truly be confusing at times, especially with the echoes from the hallway. I heard it again and decided to check anyway. I didn't expect anyone though sometimes my aunt did send me packages for christmas. Could just be the mail guy.

I sighed as I left my warm nest and swung open the door. "Hello?"

His hand was raised as he was about to knock again but he slowly lowered his fist. He smiled, a nervous smile, which tugged at the split skin of his lip where dried blood had crusted. I could only read his expression through one eye as the other was swollen shut and decorated with ghastly purples and greens. He wiped his nose of blood and runniness from the winds that had been chipping at his exposed face. I had no idea what to do or say, if i should move or not. He didn't seem to either but streaks of silent tears were already falling. Then i noticed something more astounding than his beat up face- the fact that he didn't have his keyboard with him.

I quietly stepped aside and let him in. His pants and shoes were soaked from trudging through the snow and I could tell he was freezing. I was just about to tell him that he needed to get out of them when he collapsed on his knees in front of me. He held onto my waist tightly, shoving his face into my stomach as loud sobs wracked through him. I pulled off his beanie and petted his hair back, keeping his head close and not caring that the lower part of my shirt was now stained with sadness and smudges of blood.

He passed out after that, unexpectedly, and I had to drag him to my room and set him in my bed so he could at least sleep comfortably. I had tons of questions but for right now i had to focus on getting him into dry clothes and cleaning up his wounds as best as i could. He looked like he had gotten his ass kicked and badly. Johnny didn't seem to be the type that would get into a fight so it worried me more. Once I tucked him in I made sure to put an ice pack over his eye in hope that the swelling would go down and he'd be able to open it soon. I wasn't going to get anything out of him now so i left him to rest. Just when I thought I could leave him in my past he had a terrible way of showing up again.

December 17

He slept for over 12 hours and though he was starving he had to chew a bit slower due to his injuries. We hadn't said anything since he had woken up and I had plated him some breakfast and coffee. I was over being patient but I knew I had to wait for him. Besides i had a multitude of emotions i had to decide which to start with; the anger of leaving me for months, the pain from him saying he wouldn't hurt me, the worry i had for the state of his being, the love that shattered my heart every aching moment i looked at him, and somehow the small pockets of lust that wanted me to love him harder than anyone ever had before.

When the last bite of pancakes were gone he took a final sip of coffee and sighed. "I got mugged." He stated flatly.

Ok, one question answered.

"I uh...i left Chicago around mid-September, figured i couldn't really ride on the college lie with my parents anymore. I also felt like I was bumming off their money and I hated that. When i got back here i tried to busk in different areas but winters are always the harshest. It's too cold to want to play, people are rushing to get home and stay warm. If i could have negative zero dollars in my pocket that's what i have. I'm dead broke. But i kept trying and uh…" His voice wavered and he cleared his throat quickly to push back tears. "Two nights ago, i was trying to find a place to sleep in the park and i got mugged. They took….they took my keyboard and my backpack and now I really have nothing. I didn't know where else to go so if you want me gone i get it. I honestly exp-"

The worry came first and then sadness and then the heartbreak. I rushed to squeeze him tight. I reciprocated the tears he left behind yesterday and it seemed like they would never stop. Johnny cradled the back of my head and sighed softly against my ear. "God, I've missed you so so much."

"Why d-did you leave!!?"

"You know why!" He pulled away to cup my face in his hands. "I told you, i wanted to take care of you and be in a better place before we got together."

I shoved at his chest and growled. "Yeah and look where it got you! You dont have shit and you come back after months of me not knowing where you were! This is the second time I thought you were dead. I've cried night after night for you! It felt like I could barely function without you! You made my life a living hell for the past six months and here you are at my door looking like a punching bag and I," my voice cracked and went up an octave. "And i still love you…"

"You know ive never ever wanted to hurt you. I want us to have a life together." His thumbs wiped away my tears and he crushed me to his chest once more. "You're the most amazing person i've ever met. I just want to be good for you."

"I should beat you up just for saying that. Just fucking shut up with that shit already. You are good enough for me because i fucking say so!"

"No I'm not! I can't do anything for you!"

"You can fucking love me, you complete fucking idiot!!"

"I do love you! I was scared because I was in love with you! I was scared you'd abandoned me like everyone else! I was scared that I would get my hopes up too high! I was scared that I could never get my shit together! I'm always scared!!! Always!"

We realized that our shouting wasn't even a fight at all, just frustrated feelings that needed to be expressed yet still held passion.

Suddenly I started laughing, leaving Johnny confused until he started laughing too. We were both crybabies who desperately wanted each other. No, now I needed him. Relationships were supposed to be 50/50 but even though I carried the burden of 100% I would help him get back on his feet until we could get to that even level. "You're not some pet project or charity or a nuisance. You made me fall in love with you by just being you. You're my musician, my goofball, my excited idiot that loves puppies in the park, the person that listens to me. I won't pretend to understand everything you've gone through but please Johnny...its okay to ask for help, even when help has failed you before. Believe in the fact that I want you here. I want you to stay here and i'm going to help you."

"I'll make up for it. I'll do chores, laundry, groceries, whatever you need from me." He said and I realized that he wasn't fighting me anymore. "And i'll get a job as soon as i can. I want to...i want to get a new keyboard even though it can't replace the one i've lost."

"You know what, I can accept that. I'm always too tired after work to do shit. And I can use the help."

"Ok, ok i get it! Ask for help!" He took my head in his and kissed my forehead. "Will you help me?"

December 20

The first few days were hard. I asked him to continue to rest while I went to work. It seemed like he wanted to get up and move, that he was restless and fidgety but I soon realized that his fidgets were actually his fingers ghosting over a pretend keyboard. Sometimes he would mumble to himself, maybe about notes or lyrics then go back to "playing". It was his coping mechanism and eventually I gave him a spare notebook. I wanted him to write his ideas down at least. The gesture had brightened him up immensely and he took to writing in it as soon as I left for work.

I was able to concentrate somewhat more at my job but mostly all i could think about was getting back to him. I wished that i could text him, just to see how he was doing but neither of us were able to afford a second phone just yet. Still I worried secretly if he had run off again. I hadn't told him about that feeling; i didn't want to guilt him but it was one of my biggest fears at this point. He had been worried about people abandoning him again though I was feeling the exact same thing. Would he abandon me again?

I had to finally get those thoughts away from my brain when my train pulled into the station. My usual route had some complications or whatever and was shut down; a normal occurrence but a most irritating one. I had to take the longest way home possible, through places I hadn’t been to in years. I saw a chain clothing store and decided to peek in just for a bit. Johnny was wearing my sweats 24/7 because nothing else fit him and staying in the clothes he had on his back before wasn't exactly comfortable. We washed them every other day or so but i'm sure it was starting to get annoying. I managed to find a few shirts on clearance and some stretchy shorts left over from the summer. I wasn't sure of his exact size but i'm sure this would be fine. 

I checked my phone and realized it was getting late. It was another bus ride away from home so i had to catch up soon. I walked a little faster as I looked up the schedule. One would be coming in about 10 mins or so and I needed to haul ass. With my winter boots shuffling through snow I had passed by another store, a pawn shop. Normally i couldn't care less about it but the window made me stop and stare. It drew me closer and with the smallest of squints I could see initials carved into the side and a familiar faded sticker.

I rushed inside, presenting myself at the counter and scaring the shop owner. "Keyboard. How much?"

"150." He said, barely looking up at me.

150?! The fuck?! "I'll give you 50."

"Take it or leave it, toots. This isn't a bartering system."

I leaned in closer, glaring at the middle aged man. "That keyboard is stolen property. You're lucky I'm even offering you money for it. You're going to give me that keyboard for 50 bucks or else I'll call the cops on you and they can do a nice investigation of this place. I'm sure you have more shit that people have reported missing."

"The cops won't do shit. It's not stolen if I buy it."

"Then is it stolen if i buy it back?"

He glared at me and I returned the look until I turned around and booked it. I grabbed the keyboard and the case beneath it before throwing the money out my purse and over my head. I ran as my lungs burned and arms strained while carrying the heavy thing. He was on my trail and gaining traction but I got lucky. My bus was just about to take off from the nearby stop but I caught it in time to jump on, leaving the shop owner behind. God in heaven, don't have him call the cops on me. But technically I bought it right?

December 25

The day I brought the keyboard home, Johnny had been in the shower and I was able to rush inside and hide it under my bed. I pulled shoes and any other thing in my room that would block the view of it, just in case he got a little curious. I doubt he would have but I was still precautious.

When christmas morning came around i was excited, practically hopping around like a bunny. I could barely wait for him to get up and join me on the couch. Around noon he stumbled out of my room, his hair sticking up in random places and the sleep barely out of his eyes. I let him trudge to the bathroom to freshen up and took the opportunity to drag the keyboard to the kitchen to hide it temporarily.

Finally when he sat down I jumped in front of him, a smile plastered across my face. He looked at me, concerned. "Are you...okay? You're acting weird."

"I got you something!"

He groaned and sat back against the couch. "Why would you do that? You know i wanted to get you something but couldn't."

"Yes, yes, i know. We promised not to celebrate but this is important okay?! Just accept it and let me do this. Please?!"

With a heavy sigh he agreed and I told him to close his eyes. When he complied I got the keyboard and held it in my outstretched arms in front of him. "Ok, open!"

The swelling in his injured eye had gone down and all that was left were faint bruises. I was happy that he could take this in with both eyes so I could see the happiness behind those pools of honey. But instead they were covered in tears and his throat seemed to have closed up entirely. Carefully, as if he would hurt it, he took the keyboard from me and held it close to his chest, a few keys pressing down and making a chaotic sound. It somehow complimented his tears that drifted into sobs. Slowly I sat beside him and rested my head on his shoulder as I rubbed his back. We stayed like that for a while and I covered him in cozy kisses until he found his voice again, quiet but enough to express himself. "Y-you dont know how much this means to me."

"Oh, but i do. And I almost-probably- got the cops called on me because of it."

"What?!" He shot up quickly and rubbed at his stained cheeks while I laughed.

"It was in a pawn shop. I guess whoever had beat you up sold it for some quick cash. I offered the owner a different amount and he wouldn't take it. So….i kinda, maybe, sorta stole it back but i also still gave him money! So it cancels out."

"What in the actual fuck?! Are you crazy?!"

I smiled again and this time placed a soft kiss on his tender lips. "Absolutely."

He set his keyboard down on the coffee table and now wrapped his arms around me. "What the hell am i gonna do with you?"

"Hmm...maybe kiss me under the mistletoe?" I added another kiss to him though he held it long enough for me to pull him flush against me. We were lost in each other again, nothing but tongues and lips and caresses. We only stopped when Johnny pulled away for a small reloading of air. "How could i ever thank you enough? You've done so much for me and i-"

I slid onto his lap which silenced his self doubt. "Don't. You know how I feel when you get like that. Just enjoy this moment with me. I want you to be happy."

"I am happy. So incredibly fucking happy." Now it was his turn to smile, one that reminded me of our (first date?) time at the park together a summer ago. I loved that smile. I loved when his heart beat wildly and we laughed while dancing and cleaning the apartment, when he let me be the big spoon while we cuddled because it made him feel safer. I loved him more than the moon loved the sun.

Johnny held onto my hips while I circled my arms around his neck. We knew what was potentially coming next, a celebration, a renewed reconnection that we hadn't had ever since he returned. His way of thanking me in the only way he knew how- creating a passion in my soul that ignited all the slumbering sparks in my body. His determination was strong this time as was his confidence. I could tell in the way he shifted his hands down to grab my ass without a single trace of blush across his face. "Can we do this?" He still searched for consent of which i obviously was going to give him.

"As long as you're okay with it. It's a bit emotional now, no?"

"The best emotions though. Not to sound cheesy, even though I probably do, but my heart kinda feels like it's gonna explode."

"Yeah, you're right. It is cheesy. And dorky. But i think i expect that from you already."

He rubbed the back of his head and chuckled. "Well...i know that hasn't changed at all."

"You arent blushing or stuttering though. That's changed." I pointed out.

"That's because I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid of losing you because i won't let you go again."

"You better not or else I'll hunt you down."

He didn't say any remarks and instead captured my lips in another breathless kiss. The caresses had turned into gropes to my ass and thighs, even snaking up to my breasts and dragging his blunt nails down my back. I shuddered at every heated touch. If this is what he was like when he was in college i surely would have gone after him and this was just a make out session. 

He took control of my hips and forced me down gently but enough where the center of our bodies could touch. I gasped against the heat and the slow shift of his body beneath mine. My neck started to splotch as blood bloomed to the surface with every suck or bite. He had never had the chance to mark me before. Now that his stamp was on me I craved more to be littered across my body wherever he wanted. His hands disappeared under my shirt and I felt the iciness of his fingers circle around my breasts. "Will you take this off for me please?"

I nodded almost immediately then pulled my shirt over my head. I shuddered as my skin was exposed to even more cold and tried to snuggle up to him more. "M-maybe we shouldn't be on the couch. Im freezing and my apartment sucks at keeping heat."

"You're right. I'd much rather keep you warm myself." He teased with a smirk which made me roll my eyes.

"Okay, don't use those tired lines on me." I went to slide off him but instead Johnny wrapped an arm around my waist and pushed himself off the couch. I grabbed onto him quickly, afraid i was going to fall but he held me up and continued to walk to my room. "O-oh...well then." I hadn't expected that at all much less when he set me on the bed and wrapped the fleece blanket around me.

"You try and stay warm and I will get to work."

"Get to work?"

Johnny chuckled and sunk down to his knees in front of me. "Yeah? I mean...were gonna hook up right?"

"Is it hooking up when you're with your boyfriend?"

Now returned the incredibly deep crimson across his face and ears that I was used to. "B-boyfriend?!" He squeaked.

Had I just embarrassed myself? I pulled the blanket over my face and mumbled. "i- just thought...im sorry…"

"Don't be sorry. I-its okay...i just didnt think id ever hear that." He buried his face in my lap and chuckled against the softness of my belly. "I like that."

I peered out from the blanket and giggled. "Well good...jerk."

"How am i a jerk?!" He grabbed a hold of my pants and fumbled with them while we joked about our relationship title and goofy pet names for one another. I had hardly noticed that I had become fully exposed to him until he had quieted down and moved his face between my thighs. I covered my mouth quickly to try and hide the surprised squeak as I felt his tongue carefully lap against me while his hands rubbed up and down my thighs. He looked up for a moment, gauging my reaction, before sucking gently on my clit. I pried my legs open just a little bit more which gave him room to bury his face further.

Eventually I settled the tension and relaxed completely against his licks and soft rumbles, even clutching onto his hair when the tip of his tongue nudged inside me. His hand pressed into my stomach and pushed me back gently allowing him to crawl onto the bed and nudge my legs up to my chest. I placed my calves over his shoulders while he braced his arms beside my ribcage, fisting the sheets as he moved quicker. Open hot kisses were now against me, returning to suck against my clit and tease my entrance which seemed to be his favorite thing to do given my small squirms.

Just when my hips started to undulate forward he pulled away and swiped his thumb across his lips. "I see you like to misbehave more than last time."

"Excuse me?!" I blushed. "You're the one being all-!....Good and stuff!"

"Is it really good?" He tilted his head questioningly.

"Yes, and though I liked last time, this is um...kinda better."

"Good, that's what i want. I want to give you the best fuck of your life."

I wacked his shoulder as my face burned brighter. "You were a fuckboy in college, weren't you?!"

"Noooo, swear I wasn't." He moved on top of me, wrapping my legs around his waist now. "I'm just speaking the truth. Tell me anything you want me to do." He retreated to laying kisses across my neck and sliding down to my chest. This time he captured a nipple between his plush lips and sucked harsher than he had on my clit. I quickly gripped a fistful of his shaggy hair and pulled as my back arched from the bed. He slipped his arm beneath me, keeping my chest against his. "Tell me…" He breathed across the wetness on my sensitive bud.

"I-i want to...maybe return the favor?" I glanced at the small space between us where I could tell he wasn't wearing any underwear beneath his sweatpants. Johnny cupped my face gently, placing a kiss on my nose before switching positions so he was propped against my headboard. I shuffled closer to him as he tossed the sweats aside, keeping my blanket over me.

"Go slow if you need to…"

I think this was the first time I had actually gotten a good glimpse of him. He had hidden beneath the covers the last time and I moved my hand to where he was without much thought. He was still opting to keep his sweatshirt on though I really wanted to plaster kisses against his chest and create hickies across his collar bone so that way he knew that he was mine as much as I was his. I didn't question it though, figuring it was still a sensitive topic, and instead focused on the task at hand. I, myself, didn't think I was good at this particular sort of thing either. Johnny had tried his best for me and it felt wonderful. I just hoped I could get the same reaction from him.

I felt his strong hand pet my hair in encouragement as i inched my mouth closer. Carefully i settled my lips around the head of his cock and gradually built up the strength of my sucks to swallow down more of him. His breathing was shallowing, as if he was holding it in, but I could feel his eyes on me. Unlike him I was too afraid to look up and instead hoped that I didn't look a fool. His hand that laid against my hair added some pressure which forced me down more. It wasn't painful really yet i felt my mouth like it was being stretched to its limit. "I think you're doing a pretty good job yourself." He hissed through a groan.

He allowed me to slip off him and lick my lips of his taste. "It's a lot but i'm glad i can manage." I teased before kissing the tip. Johnny grabbed a hold of his base and commanded me to part my lips where he settled small rubs against my tongue.

"Is it okay when i do this?" I nodded quickly and placed my hand over his around his shaft. He pulled away and allowed me to remain so I could shift my wrist up and down the few inches I couldn't take. He liked me being focused around his head as well as every lick or even the slightest of nibbles. I even dared to flick my tongue along his slit which made his hips buck hard. "W-whoa, uh… I don't want a repeat of last time." He laughed nervously and pulled me away. "I want...uh...i wanna um...b-be inside you…" he cringed.

I cringed along with him but slithered into his lap, wrapping the blanket around us both. "Don't say that, just do it."

"A-ahh...i like the sound of that." I realized I had to leave my warmth for a second to retrieve another forgotten condom and worked it over him. "Do you wanna stay in my lap?"

"Does it feel nice?"

"You've never-?"

"No, just the regular way i guess." I admitted shyly.

"Maybe it's time to put my college education to use then."

"What does music have to do with- '' I let out a surprised gasp as I felt him guide my hips up and slowly began to fill me. The pit of my stomach seemed so full, somehow much fuller than the last time and I dug my nails into his biceps tightly. "Oh fuck…"

Johnny caressed my torso, waiting for me to adjust while he simply admired the way I looked. "It's okay. If it still hurts let me know."

"N-no um...it doesn't hurt it just feels wayyyy different. Good different. Not anything bad."

He chuckled. "Yeah i got that. Do you want to try moving? Do you know how?"

"I mean ive seen it in porn and stupid movies but maybe...a little help might be nice." I buried my face in the crook of his neck as he grabbed a firmer hold on my hips.

"Lift up with me." He whispered into my ear. I followed his directions, keeping my face hidden though my budding moans were giving my pleasure away. It took a few minutes, god knows how many, until i was bouncing on my own, Johnny's fingers bruising my skin and leaving indentations behind. The blanket fell to wayside, forgotten and uncared for as we worked together, pistoning quicker by the moment. "You f-feel amazing." Johnny choked through a moan.

I pressed my forehead to his and nodded silently. I was barely able to say any words, only clenching around the tightness inside me until I felt like bursting at the seams. The single time i caught my breath all i could utter was the softest 'more' i've ever produced. My back was no longer against emptiness but instead trapped between my headboard and johnny. I squeezed my legs tighter around his waist, giving him something to hold onto as his thrusts became stronger. Never violent, but always hard and deep enough to where everything seemed heightened. 

Our tongues clashed together again, teeth gnawing at lips and skin, and hands fumbling to find one another until they were pinned against the wall above. The trembling of the wood into plaster elicited moans from us both, surely letting the neighbors in the close confines hear what was going on. My eyes squeezed shut as he throbbed against my walls waiting for the perfect moment to still his hips and let go. I hadn't expected the last hard thrust of his release and it sent tendrils of rosy hues to form across my already flushed skin. "J-johnny?"

He slumped against my shoulders, breathing against the stickiness between us. I let him gather himself, relishing with him in the beginning of afterglow though I haven't had my thrilling bliss or whatever it was supposed to feel like. Eventually he pulled away from me and pushed back his hair, a serious in his eyes that also took me by surprise. He slipped out of me slowly and traversed back to between my thighs that was smeared in my cum. "What are you doing?" I swallowed hard.

He ignored me and returned his tongue to lash across my lower lips this time joined by his fingers that thrusted almost as harshly as he had. He was hell bent on satisfying me, alternating his patterns between curling his tongue and fingers and slowing down just as I almost reached my climax just to prolong the feeling. At first it was irritating but then I saw the true colors of his actions- the build up, the extra tension, the squirming of my body and clawing of my nails against his arms. A torture so good that i could hear the lewd slurping as i finally came.

He slowed his licks down little by little until my quivers stopped, ending it was a small kiss to my clit. When he laid by my side an incredibly goofy smile was on his face. "Better?"

I nodded and instantly curled against him. I secretly was afraid he would get up and leave again but another part felt the security that he wouldn't. Perhaps if he heard those words one last time he would stay. "I love you."

January 1

A new year. A new life continued.

Celebrating by getting shitfaced and watching the giant disco ball from from the top of the tower in the center of Times square.

A countdown. A kiss. A promise.

"I want to love you forever."

"Don't be so corny!"

"I don't care. It's how I feel. I want to love you for fucking ever."

Another kiss as midnight hit, longer, deeper.

An uncaring slow burn of a fuck on the floor through trembling limbs and urges to stay close and warm. His long body covering mine as if to say he'd protect me but we both knew that he was mine to shield.

Beneath the string of fairy lights under my tiny christmas tree the living room stayed dimly lit and I could see the soft shadows dance across his face as he slept on my chest. He'd grown accustomed to hearing my heartbeat-a lullaby, he said- as I played with his hair which I promised I'd get him to cut soon.

This was magic. Between the two of us and the sappiness of the holidays it felt like the stars had shown us the miracles of coming together. I held his hand tightly as I kissed his forehead, listening to his soft snores. My own lullaby was him feeling at peace and never return to a life that was colder than the winter's snow.

February 9

"Hey beautiful stranger."

I turned my head and saw Johnny leaning against the wall of the subway station. "Why are you here?!" I asked.

"Fuckin' train got delayed. Been here an hour while they try and figure out a substitute route. I called my boss and luckily he's super understanding. He got caught in a huge delay this morning too. I think your train is okay."

"Ugh, just your luck. You leave before me but now we're stuck together." He pulled me closer to him and pressed warm kisses to my face.

"Oh darn, how absolutely terrible." He smiled and gave me a squeeze."

"Oh, here, hold my coffee. Your tie is crooked." Johnny took my usual morning coffee before I adjusted my purse over my shoulder to give me proper room to fix the unevenness of his tie. It was a royal blue, a favorite color of his and it brought out the crispness of his white button up. He looked so handsome. He was lucky I let him get out of bed this morning. "You better get home on time because i have a surprise for your birthday."

"Does that surprise involve lingerie?" He smirked. "I saw that bag you tried to sneak in your dresser."

"Well now you wont get it since you decided to be nosy!"

"Hmm, guess it doesn't matter since it would just end up on the floor anyway. Don't have time for straps and shit."

I shoved at him playfully as my cheeks warmed. "You're getting absolutely nothing then. Pervert."

He took a sip of my coffee then looked pensive, seeming to ignore my banter for a moment. "Hey, doesn't your train kinda stop near my job?"

"Oof, it sort of does but youre def gonna have to take two transfers after. The A and the 1 i think."

"Anything is better than waiting for these idiots to get their shit together. I'll go with you. And then we can talk more about tonight." He gave me a wink as he took another sip making me roll my eyes.

I ignored his pervertedness for the most part and agreed to him joining me. "Hmm sounds good to me." I laid my head on his chest while my hand reached up to swipe away a bit of coffee that had stained his chubby cheek. He was less of a skeleton and definitely more of a teddy bear now- said my cooking was the best he'd ever had though i think he was just being nice. He still felt perfect in my arms and for once we were both happy to be someone's someone.