#i put the link to the ask game itself at the top which feels weird but otherwise it's lost beneath the cut.....oh well
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veilk · 1 year ago
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7 and 10 for arospec ask game!
[arospec ask game link, at the top this time because my answer for this one got really, REALLY long]
7. do you experience any forms of attraction? i.e., romantic, platonic, aesthetic, sensual, sexual, etc.
ive already answered this one over here! but bc i feel like anwering again, that i do! specifically alterous (or as i call it: secret third thing) and some kind of unspecified physical attraction (or as i call it: secret fourth thing)
10. what frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?
this got long, whew
first place is definitely the "love is what makes you human<3" crowd, and generally the phenomenon of putting love up on this big special pedestal. a lot of people treat it like it's objectively the best emotion, which is untrue, because there is no objective "best" emotion.
like... it's fine if love is important to you, on personal level. that's not my business. but when you come up to me while i'm expressing discomfort with how heavily love is emphasized to either say you think i'm not defining "love" broadly enough or to outright say that i'm wrong for being uncomfortable? that's the bullshit that makes me see red.
sure, love can be your meaning of life. that's totally fine and i'm glad you're happy. but get this, and you have to accept this if you want to be normal about aromanticism: love is not *my* meaning of life. this does not mean it actually secretly *is*, and i just define love less broadly than you- it means exactly what i said, and you have to deal with that.
also like... who cares if we define love differently? who cares if i define it less broadly than you? you don't get to change my own personal definition of it. my personal relationship with the concept of love as an aromantic person is not your business, and you are not going to suddenly change it by going "actually, you're wrong and i'm right!", you're just going to piss me off.
for clarification, i do have things i love, i do have people i love, and generally i'm not opposed to finding more things and people to love. but i just don't consider the emotion itself that intensely important. i could certainly live without it and honestly i kind of just don't experience it in a way that society really likes in the first place. i value relationships themselves more than the specific emotion, if that makes sense.
i have no clue if literally any of this is coherent and i am hoping so hard that it is
in second place for thing that annoys me most abt amatonormavity is how, you know, romantic by default partnerships are considered, as well as how strict the boundaries of those relationships are. there isn't any room for a grey area with amatonormavity- you're either dating entirely romantically or you aren't in any sort of partnership at all. i find this highly uncomfortable as a partnering aro who thrives in the grey area. i do want partnerships but the partnerships i want are incompatible with amatonormativity.
my ideal relationships boil down to fucking around and finding out, to just doing whatever. relationships where we're indistinguishable from people who aren't dating, but we call each other boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever? sure. relationships where we do a lot of traditionally "romantic" things, in a distinctly non-romantic way? sure. a mix of the two? sure. something else neither of us care to define? sure. literally just calling each other our partners for fun and no other reason? sure. we don't even have to be attracted to each other. join my polycule for fun and profit etc etc.
see, none of these things are even slightly compatible with amatonormativity, and they have to be done with someone who understands that. which, unfortunately, many many people either just... don't really understand or find these kinds of relationships discomfort-inducing and weird, due to how they go against the norm, and will find you weird for wanting that.
and that probably concludes my answer to this ask. if you got here to the end, hi there, i hope you enjoyed my words. i have been working on this ask for just about two hours and i don't know if anything i said was written coherently. i really hope at least some of it was because i can't be bothered to fix it if it wasn't. this post was sponsored by i am so aromantic and i have so many thoughts on it
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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago
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3, 4, 5, and 11 for Mad Women!
Thank you!
(Send me fic asks if you want!)
3. What’s your favorite line of narration?
I’m going to say this description of the alien planet (and Murphy’s history)!
When the instruments went haywire and the radio distortion so loud and so manic they could not bear to listen to it any longer, and the lone desert planet, a third the size of Earth, appeared in the view screen straight ahead like a dusky jewel uncovered beneath sifting wasteland sands, he was the one to take the shuttle down with Raven and Clarke. He'd taken pictures and scanner readings of a desolation more tragic and unbearable than anything he’d ever seen. The mission reminded him, at first, of the old urbex adventures he used to have, climbing chain link fences and creeping through crumbling, abandoned factories with his high school girlfriend, the sort of thrilling shit that beat a hollow in his chest—but it was beautiful then, too. He and Emori would watch the sunset from weed-strewn playgrounds, in the shadow of apartments where no one had lived for years, imagined themselves the last people on Earth and found something romantic in the vision.
4. What is your favorite line of dialogue?
I find this part funny in its ~~foreshadowing~~:
Then: "Clarke doesn't think we're going nowhere," Bellamy says.
"And you don't think that's weird?" Murphy snaps, swiveling toward him again. "That she's so confident and so hell-bent on this one particular random direction through nothing—?"
Octavia snorts. "Do we think it's weird that Clarke's confident? No. Have you met Clarke?"
5. What part was hardest to write?
Hmmm. I actually wrote this in such a frenzy that I barely remember. The hardest part to plot was the various motivations of the characters and in particular how the alien!Clarke story line intersected with the Mad Scientist Raven story line. Those two elements were central to the idea but they were also conceived of separately so it took a bit of thought to weave them into one narrative. (I actually think Raven’s back room deal with the alien might have been my mom’s idea; I brainstormed a lot of the fic with her.) The whole plot only came together when I decided to include the SOS from Kane: a reason for the ship’s crew to disobey, and thus anger, alien!Clarke and force her to reveal herself.
In terms of the actual writing, the alien reveal scene was the most intimidating because it was the very first thing I imagined and also basically the center of the story, the point where creeping dread becomes outright terror. But again, I just wrote it in a frenzy and didn’t think too much. Some elements, like the flashback to Murphy and Clarke at the bar or even Murphy’s realization hinging specifically on (real) Clarke’s loyalty, didn’t come up until I was actually writing.
Another intimidating part was describing Raven’s lab and experiments since I really love the Mad Scientist trope (it’s basically why I wrote the whole fic!) and I really wanted to get it right.
11.What do you like best about this fic?
Hmmm... Everything honestly! I like how it actually turned out, I think it was creepy and atmospheric and that it captured what I wanted to capture with my idea, but I also had a really good time brainstorming and writing it, it helped to break me out of my writer’s block last year, and it had a really gratifying response, which I appreciate so much. Overall a success!
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captnjacksparrow · 4 years ago
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i had a really fun time reading through the post where you explained sasuke's feelings towards naruto throughout the story. but i have a question for one of the segment which was the "unintentional closeness". in vote 2, sasuke was only getting close to naruto and punching him because he had no chakra left to use rather than wanting to get close. can you name any other techniques sasuke could have done instead of getting on top of naruto to defeat him ? i would like to hear your thoughts 😁
sasuke was only getting close to naruto and punching him because he had no chakra left to use rather than wanting to get close.
That’s why I used the word, ‘Unintentional’, Anon. Sasuke never wanted to get close but he just did it without realizing. He wasn’t even thinking with a composed mind like he did before in many other battles. Even when he was fighting with Danzo, Sasuke lost his mind completely to the point of differentiating between friends and foes. But still he fought diligently using right jutsus by creating clever traps. Compared to that battle, Sasuke looked like he doesn’t know what he was doing in VoTE2.
You know that I didn't write that section citing any romantic intent, right??? 
The only thing which looked awkward, weird, funny and slightly cute was when Tailed Beast Mode Naruto was sitting on top of Susanoo Mode Sasuke. It wasn't even in the manga.
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And you also know I didn't ship them until episode 478, right?
But, Throughout the series, even on my first watch, I paid close attention to every fight sequences without missing any stuffs (I am a sucker for Martial arts and Breath taking stunts). So, on my first watch itself, I was laughing inside and thinking, 'Why is this fool bringing the fight too close?, Sasuke is falling right into Naruto's comfort zone, a close ranged battle!!!'
There were two jutsus I thought immediately. One is out-of-context and another was already used in that battle. On top of it, the author didn’t use these jutsus intentionally.
I noticed Sasuke was a medium to long range fighter and Naruto was a close range fighter. I realized this in the battle of Deidara vs Sasuke. and Naruto vs Pain. Other than Rasen Shuriken, Naruto's jutsus are all close ranged ones.
Throughout Shippuden, There were only two battles where Sasuke was pushed to the point of draining out all his Chakra. Not including the VoTE 2 Battle.
First one, Sasuke Vs Deidara.
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[[SIDE NOTE : Even this battle carried various techniques, Man!!!.. In the Manga, this battle lasted for 6 chapters. Sigh!! VoTE 2 sucked at jutsus]]
As you can see Anon, Sasuke was out of chakra at the end of this battle. He didn't get close to him, because Deidara was the pursuer. Sasuke just needed information about Itachi from him.
After losing chakra, what did he do?
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Sasuke summoned Manda, the snake, put a Genjutsu on him. Then used Reverse Summoning Jutsu to fly into a different plane.
I think this Jutsu is Out-Of-Context in VoTE 2 battle. Because, Sasuke wants to destroy Naruto, so he can't be running away from the battle like he did with Deidara.
Second One, Sasuke Vs Itachi.
Godd!!! What a clever and painful battle it was.
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This is right after Sasuke fired up Katon no Jutsu to the sky. After that he was out of chakra like Itachi says here.
What did he do next?
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Sasuke used 'Kirin'. Itachi evaded it with Susanoo, anyway. It's a jutsu which expends very less chakra as mentioned by Zetsu and Databook.
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Sasuke never used this jutsu in the Manga in VoTE 2 battle, anon. I know Kishi made that move intentionally. I’ve explained about this at the end of the post.
I mean, Sasuke was not entirely drained from Chakra like the above two scenarios. After falling down from the sky, Sasuke fired up an Amaterasu, which Naruto blocked easily with his Chakra. Then Sasuke used his Chidori to smash all the Naruto clones.
Instead of that Chidori, Sasuke should've fired Katon no jutsu to the sky and should have smashed Naruto with Kirin.
Game Over!!!!!
But then, some jutsu freak like me must have questioned the Anime makers at that time, 'Why didn't Sasuke use Kirin in this fight?'. The Anime team would have, 'Oh, That's right, Then let's make Sasuke use this dangerous jutsu while they are both in this Big Mega-Zord Version. Otherwise Naruto would really die if Sasuke use it during Fist Fight.' LOL.
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In the Anime Episode, Sasuke already used Kirin, a jutsu which was not used in that battle in the Manga. And hence, citing repetition reasons, The Anime team didn't use it again.
Sasuke could've used this jutsu after stealing Chakra from Naruto, then Naruto would've been drop dead for sure. Instead Sasuke went closer to Naruto, looked him in his eyes, switched off his Sharingan and got that Upper Cut.
So, these are the possible jutsus that can be used even when the user is out of Chakra. It's not even my theory, it's explained canonically in the Manga and Anime.
If you ask my personal opinion or my theory,
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Then I would've saved my Chakra to ram Chidori Sword right into Naruto's heart, instead of any of those useless things Sasuke did.
Even Kishimoto said in an Interview, that the boys won't be using Ninjutsu for the final battle. He deliberately written them to fight using their Fists. I knew this only very recently after writing that Sasuke's Perspective post. You can see it in this link.
LINK
Kishi made Sasuke to use Reverse Summoning Jutsu when he was out of Chakra.
Kishi made Sasuke to use Kirin when he was out of Chakra.
Kishi made Sasuke to sit on top of Naruto and smash him when was out of Chakra. LOL.
I think the author drawn those deliberately knowing full well about his own established facts. And I just happened to observe it.
LESSON : IF YOU WANT TO DESTROY SOMEONE WHOM YOU KNOW SO WELL, NEVER FIGHT THEM UP CLOSE.
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tamakissimp · 4 years ago
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K.B- here to stay
𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: Bakugou wasn’t the only captive the league of villains had, you were one too. A captive they took for your quirk; drinking just a drop of your blood could heal any injury. After being rescued, you and Bakugou got separated. But not for long.
𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: fem!reader pronouns (used once) kidnapping, blood, knife, fluffy ending, captivity, cursing
𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 𝟚𝟛𝟡𝟟
request: anon - Hi! I saw requests were open, could you please write a scenario for Bakugou, where during his time kidnapped by the lov, they had another captive. A girl who is his age, but she has been there for a few months. The reason why she is there is because of her quirk. Her blood can heal others, all they need to do is drink some of it, the bigger the injury the more blood. They are saved together but then separated. It’s been two years of no contact when Bakugou goes to recovery girl to find the same girl who was a captive now learning under recovery girl. They hit it off. Hi please?
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You're a hallucination his mind made up, Bakugou is sure of it. A bright imagine his mind made up to keep himself from going insane. You're too pure to be in such a shit-filled place as the league's hideout.
Though the chains shackled tightly around your ankles say differently. The bloodstains on the ground scream that you’re here. The various scars and wounds that those villain bastards put on you prove you're real. Your arms gently wrapping around Bakugou's shaking body convince him that you're real.
 You're here, you're real and you're hurt. Hurt because he can't keep those bastard's hands of you. Though you never fret about it.
Bakugou screams his throat raw every moment he can as league members do as much as breath in his direction. Even their muzzles can keep his mouth shut. Though you never say a word when they plunge syringe after syringe into your skin. Tears never roll down your cheeks as they cut your skin up to their liking.
He wonders if you ever were rebellious. If there was a time when you kicked and screamed at the villainous hands reaching towards you. All he knows is your time with him. The times in which you would gently gather the blood seeping from your fresh wounds onto your thumb and stick it into his mouth. The times in which you forced your quirk on him, even if he bit down harshly on your fingers. Just so he could have a chance at recovering before Shigaraki ordered a new wave of pain onto him.
All he knows are the nights - or days, time grows weird when you're kidnapped - when you're running your hands through his hair. The nights at which you promise him that someone will rescue him. Even if no one has tried to do during your imprisonment. You promise him that you will get out here so he can show you the friends he's been telling you about.
"Denki, you'll-you'll love him," he says. His voice cracks. Either from sadness or the amount of screaming he has done today, he doesn't know or care. "He's stupi- I mean, he's kind. A fucking goofball.".
You hum at him as you continue to play with his spiky hair. You like to imagine that it's normally soft. Soft and bouncy. But now it's matted by sweat and crusted bits of blood. That and facts that it hasn't been washed for well over a week.
"And Kirishima," Bakugou continues. He thinks back on the times spent with his friends. Times were they dragged him along to go on stupid adventures. Times were they laughed their ass off for no reason. He hated this times back then but he yearns for them now.
"He's great. He's kind. A-And he's sweet. The type of guy to be everyone's friend. The type of guy....to be a hero.". Tears roll down his cheeks at his words.
A hero. It's hard to imagine himself being one now. He can't even handle being kidnapped by some low life bastards without breaking down.
"I can't wait to meet them," you whisper back. "We'll get spicy pork noodle together, yeah?". Bakugou nods. You'll get out of here, both of you. You're going to get out of here and he's going to take you to a stupid mall to eat some goddamn noodles.
You continue to play with his hair. Running his locks through your fingers while humming subconsciously. The soft movements lul Bakugou into a sleepy state. His body grows warm and his eyes grow droopy. "We'll do that," he whispers before letting his eyes fully close.
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Dabi's burning hand wraps around your arm. Red indents in the shape of the pads of his fingers get pushed into your skin. Screams erupt from your throat.
"Don't be so fucking annoying," Shigaraki spits out. You simply shake your head as sobs wreck through your body. Dabi's hands warm up further, excelling boiling point. You scream again.
Dabi's free hand lifts to slap your cheek harshly. The red handprint on your skin makes pride swell up in the bastard's chest. Finally, Dabi's burning hand unwraps itself from your arm.
He lets you curl into yourself, carefully cradling your burned arm. "Just give us some fucking blood," Shigaraki says he as walks away from his place in the shadows.
Dabi steps aside to make room for his boss. Shigaraki slowly crouches down in front of you. You keep your eyes trained on the chains secured tightly around your ankles. Fucking bastard.
Suddenly, four of Shigaraki's cold fingers wrap around your neck, forcing you to look at him. Crazed eyes and cracked skin look back at you. He expected you to beg for forgiveness. For you to fall to your knees and beg for your life. Instead, you stare at him with lifeless eyes.
"You better cooperate with us. You don't want to piss off the end boss," he says. His wobbly voice makes you want to cut his tongue out. Since that isn't an option, you opt for the next best thing; spitting in his voice.
Shigaraki stumbles back a bit like a thick glob of spit runs down his nose, hitting his upper lip. He roughly wipes the spit off his face as you give him a shit-eating grin. "Suck. My. Dick," you say.
Within a second, he has you turned around. Your cheek is planted firmly against the cold, stone wall as your arm is bent in a painful angle. "Crispy, give me a fucking knife," Shigaraki says while making grabby hands towards Dabi.
You squeeze your eyes shut as you here the man behind you shuffle around. Screams rip through your throat as you feel the cold edge of a knife press harshly into your skin. Drops of blood audibly hit the floor. Maybe complying would be easier.
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
The chair is always the worst. You can't speak to him, you can't help him. All you can do is look at him while he trashes against the restrains. All you can do is long to touch him while a muzzle covers his face.
You cower away in the corner. Any rattling Bakugou's chains make only cause you to curl into yourself more. You wrap your arms around yourself in pseudo protectiveness.
Broken whispers of apologies fall of your tongue along with whimpers. Bakugou's screams are still more than audible even with the thick metal covering his mouth.
He must be scared, of course, he is. He told you about that glob monster that had pushed itself into his throat. Did the muzzle remind him of that? It must have. Otherwise, he would be aggressive, rather than scared.
"I'm sorry," you repeat time and time again. You can't even remember if it was your fault. Though it most likely was, it always is.
It's smart of the league you, you have to give them that. Punishing someone else. Playing mind games like they always do. They could have just roughed you up a bit. Thrown a few punches and left it at that. But punishing Bakugou instead of you, that's fucked up.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.". The meaningless words bounce through the room. I'm sorry won't get Bakugou out of that chair. It won't even calm him down. Maybe it'll scare him even further.
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Salvation is supposed to taste sweet. It's supposed to feel like drinking a cold glass of water after being lost in a desert. Instead, it left a foul taste on your tongue. It left your body shaking with fear.
The loud explosions and bang going on outside the door make you push your head into Bakugou's chest. His arms are wrapped securely around you.
He wants to fight, God knows how much. He wants to blow off that goddamn door and blast the league's faces off. But he also knows that if he gives in to his reckless impulses, you'll be left by your self. And you don't have an aggressive quirk as he does. Basically meaning, if he leaves you alone now you're fucked.
"It's okay," Bakugou says. His voice is broken and ragged. After days of doing nothing but screaming his vocal cords ultimately took some damage. He winches at the dryness in his throat. "No one's gonna hurt you.".
You nod against him, fisting the fabric of his shirt. Suddenly, the door bangs open. You pull yourself out of Bakugou's grasp. He steps in front of you and shields you behind his broad shoulders. Though his defence drops once he sees the person in the doorway.
"Mister Aizawa," he says. The teacher nods as he quickly walks over to the boy, turning his attention towards the chains linked to his left wrist.
"Who's this?" he asks as he looks over at you. You take a step back from the unknown men, looking at Bakugou like a deer in headlights.
"Y/n, she's been captured too," he gruffs. The raven-haired nods before moving on to loosen your shackles. You subconsciously reach out and grab a hold of Bakugou's hand. He gladly grabs a hold of it, rubbing soothing circles on the top of up.
Once Aizawa is done, he moves away from the two of you and mentions towards the door. "Let's get you, kids, out of here," he says. Bakugou's eyes shoot over to you.  You sent him a reassuring nod.
"Let's go home.".
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Life without you is dull. The sparkle that once lit up Bakugou's life is now gone. He went from relying on you to get him through the day to not seeing you all. Last he saw you, you were both in the hospital getting your wounds treated. He heard whispers that you attend the UA now but he doesn't let himself believe in such rumours only to be disappointed.
His friends had noticed the change, how could they not. Bakugou went from being a hothead to not saying a word to anyone except Kirishima.Being a shut-in was his new thing, instead of being a fireball. He overworked himself in training. He pushed his quirk until his hands were raw and burned.
His aspirations to become a hero has seemed to double. The fact that no one has come to save you for months seemed to fule his dreams to make sure that happened to no one else.
At unholy hours he allowed himself to think of you. He let his mind wander to dark corners as he lays in bed unphased by sleep. The possibility that you had never recovered from your injuries was likely. Maybe you died in the hospital and he's going with his life hoping that fate will miraculously bring you two together.
Those thoughts always seem to spike a place in his heart. All he knew about you was your name. You let him ramble about his life. You took away his pain, his fear and his injuries. All that and he never returned the favour. You had never told him about yourself, your fears or your family. He beats himself up of that. 
He pushes himself in the gym for that. Forces his body beyond breaking point because - in his mind - he deserves it. He deserves all the pain he could never take away from you.
"Hey, Bakugou!" Denki calls out. Bakugou's head perks up for a second. his eyes fall over his electric friends before turning to gaze out the window again.
Denki looks over to Kirishima who gives him an encouraging nod. "Can't you just tell him?" Denki asks. Kirishima shakes his head.
"Nuh-uh, you tell him," He says.
"Tell me what?" Bakugou sneers. Both boys look up at their friend who has suddenly turned his full attention to them. Denki shoots Bakugou an awkward smile.
"They're uh," Kirishima begins. "There's someone at Recovery Girl you might want to see.". Bakugou nerves light up. Could it be you?
He quickly dismisses the possibility. Getting his hopes up will only get him hurt in the long run. Still, though, he quickly pushes himself out of his chair and rushes towards Recovery Girl's office.
The walk is short, two minutes tops. Maybe it's because he's focused or maybe it's because he's powerwalking through UA like a mad man. Who knows.
Muffled voice is audible from behind the door. One voice, in particular, spikes his attention. Without thinking, Bakugou rips the door open. There he sees Recovery Girl standing next to a sitting down Izuku, who broke his arm again. However, another figure is standing beside them.
"Deku?" Izuku says. Bakugou's mind doesn't get the time to catch up as his body rushes itself towards you. His arms wrap around you instinctively as he pulls you into a bone-crushing hug.
"Katsuki!" you squeal out as you return his hug. His nerves are on fire and his mind is in overdrive. The feeling of your warmth against his body calms down anxieties he didn't know he had. Your familiar scent fills his nose.
He pulls away slightly to see your face. His calloused palm rests against your cheeks. You melt into his touch. "I thought...". He doesn't have to finish the sentence for you to understand.
"I know," you say. "But I made it. And I'm not going anywhere.". Warmth swells up in Bakugou's chest at the words. Salty tears prick in his eyes though he makes no attempt to wipe them away.
Deku is damned, he's going to cry whenever he likes. If you had asked him a year ago, he would have said that crying makes you weak. Though he knows better now. Emotions don't make you weak. They make you stronger. They make you human.
"I'm going to the UA now. I'm doing a special healer's course," you say. A goofy smile is plastered on your lips as tears start to well up in your eyes as well.
Izuku awkwardly dismisses himself from the room. Though a smile is still present on his lips. It does him well to see how much his childhood friend has changed.
"You're gonna stay here," Bakugou repeats your words. You nod at him. Your hand reaches up to run through his hair. Like you thought his locks are silky smooth. Now unphased by layers of sweat, standing up proudly in high pikes.
"I'm going to stay.".
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littlesniggy · 4 years ago
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Paranoia
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This is a Dabi fanfic and it's way longer than anticipated and I don't know if you guys like it but it was on my mind the whole day and I kinda really wanted to write it. Hope you enjoy it.
Synopsis: Reader plays truth or dare and visits a website on the dark web. It goes all downhill from then on. Non-quirk AU.
Note: I have no idea how this whole thing with the dark web works so don't bother too much if it's wrong. Also, friends' reaction is a little weird but oh well. I'm also reeeeally bad with giving characters names so....yeah...you'll see.
Warning: Anxiety, mental abuse
Word count: 3.8k
It was a silly idea but you and your friends did this stupid truth or dare thing and now it was your turn. Since you’ve chosen truth the last time, now it had to be dare. One of your friends dared you to log into the Dark Web. You were confused since you had no idea on how you were supposed to do this. You were not really tech savvy nor have you been interested in visiting the deep, dark part of the internet before. But your friend assured you that he knew how to get access (how and why, you didn’t want to question) and that it was rather funny to see what kind of thing you could find there.
Reluctantly, you agreed, a mistake you would regret later. You opened your laptop, signed in and let you friend show you how to get access to a website on the Dark Web. Your other friends gathered around the two of you, watching with curiosity. “How do you know how to get in?” one of them wanted to know but he just shrugged, grinning to himself. “I got curious one day. Don’t worry.” He answered and the other cackled, taking another sip from their beer.
You weren’t so sure about this whole situation. Maybe it was because it was your laptop, maybe it was because you didn’t feel too keen on doing something ‘illegal’. Was it even illegal? Or was it just illegal to buy something from there? You had no idea. Nevertheless, was there a heavy lump in your stomach but you didn’t want to back down now.
He opened a link and a website opened. It didn’t look like much but it looked shady anyways. Your friends made wide eyes and pointed at a link and challenged you to open it. Your friend made room for you to sit in front of the screen, a huge grin on his face. “C’mon, Y/n! Open it!” they animated you and you gave in, clicking the link. A dark window opened with a chatroom. Messages popped up, a conversation between strangers.
You read the messages but didn’t do anything beyond it. “You need to say something, too!” your friends told you but you didn’t want to. “I don’t know…” you said but before you could say anything else one of them started typing. “Hey!” you yelled but were too late to push her away and prevent her from sending the short text.
I hope nothing shady’s going on here.
“Are you out of your mind? Why did you send that?” you demanded to know but she simple giggled. “Relax. It’s not like they’re gonna take this seriously.” Another one said but her eyes were glued to the screen, anticipating an answer. But there was none – at least not to your message. Instead, they went on with their conversation which was kind of boring to read. “Maybe this is just a normal website and he is just messing with us.” “Hey! This website is legit! I once saw one asking for child pornography!” he defended himself but the others were not convinced. “Sure. Let’s get goin’. It’s your turn with truth or dare anyways, Dai-chan.”
He mumbled to himself, annoyed that they didn’t believe him that this site was legit but let it go and put an arm around his girlfriend, moving back to the sofa with her, others following. Your eyes were still glued to the screen and you were about to close the window and forget about the who thing, when a small window popped up. It simply read:
Hope you join us again.
It’s been two weeks since you and your friends had this truth or dare night and after you closed the website and shut the laptop close the night went on pleasantly. You forgot about this whole ‘Dark Web’ and moved on with your life, by now also convinced Daisuke was messing with you guys.
You were sitting in class, listening to the professor talk about the history of capitalism, it’s pros and cons but you were barely listening. You were way more interested in this episode of “Haikyuu!!” your friend introduced you to and since then you were hooked. You listened to it with your earphones, not bothering to cover it up. You were emotionally completely invested in the game when a small window popped up, indicating a chat request. You had no idea which website this was coming from and ignored it, clicked the small ‘x’ and kept watching the episode.
A couple minutes later another message; this time you got curious. The website you were watching the episode at was none of those shady websites where half naked women were advertising for some porn website and women who were ‘less than a mile away’. So, this should be something different. A little hesitantly, you opened the chat box and a window opened, revealing a black screen with two bubbles – the two messages that had been sent before.
Hi.
You never came back.
You were confused and locked around the room. Everyone was either looking at their laptops, writing something down or flat out sleeping with their heads on the table. No one was looking your way.
Who are you?
It didn’t take long for the person to answer.
Are you bored?
He completely ignored your question but before you could type in a reply another message popped up.
Or why else would you be watching an anime during class?
You stopped dead in your tracks and stared at the screen. Your eyes darted around the room once again, you even turned around but no one was looking at you, not even a small glance. This must be a joke you thought to yourself and you gave a small huff.
Stop it, Daisuke. You can’t freak me out again.
No reply. Satisfied, you smiled to yourself and closed the window again, making a mental note to slap the shit out of him later.
“Why would you send me those creepy messages?!” you confronted Daisuke and he raised his hands in defense, confusion plastered all over his face. “What’re you talking about?” he wanted to know, his girlfriend holding on to his arm, looking similarly confused. “You sent me those creepy messages during class, didn’t you?” He chuckled nervously but shook his head no. “What messages are you talking about? He was with me the whole time.” She defended him and you huffed, not convinced. “Sure. You had your fun but please, don’t do this again. You almost gave me a heart attack.”
When you got back to your apartment, you took out your keys, unlocked the door, opened it and locked it behind you again. You were a little paranoid since you’ve moved here, a lot of break-ins happened in the neighborhood over the last couple of months. To top it all off, you lived on the first floor, easy access to your apartment from the sidewalk. But it was cheap and one of the few places you could actually afford with your crappy job.
Your shoes flew across the hallway and you made your way over to the small kitchen, checking for anything edible but to no surprised it was empty. A sigh left your mouth, not wanting to go out again and get something to eat. So, pizza delivery should do for tonight, even though it would be the third night in a row.
When the pizza finally arrived you sat yourself in front of your TV and watched some random series, not actually interested in the content itself but you needed the background noise to start your assignment later.
Your phone screen lit up, indicating a new message. You grabbed your phone but dropped it once your read the message. Your heart started racing, threatening to either burst out your chest or stop beating completely. Your body got cold and you started to shiver.
Do you like watching that shit?
You put the piece of pizza away and got up, storming from window to window, looking outside and the closing the curtains once you made sure no one was there. You stalked back to the sofa and picked up your phone from the floor, reading the message again. Surely, this had to be a joke, right? Your friends were just messing with you, right?
You opened the text with trembling fingers. You didn’t know the number that was displayed on top of the message. Maybe Daisuke bought a sim card just to scare you? But why would he do that? He wasn’t the type to do this, especially since his girlfriend would reprimand him for doing that.
Who are you?
Not a minute later you got a reply.
You can call me Dabi.
Dabi? Obviously, a fake name but you wouldn’t ask him for his real name. Hell, you didn’t want to answer him at all again and were tempted to just block this number. But the next message flew right in.
How you doin’?
Did he really try to do small talk?
Stop messaging me!
And that was it. No messages anymore. Maybe it was one of your friends after all. Still, the anxiety still remained.
In the middle of the night you woke up to your phone vibrating, the bright screen blinding you. You pressed your eyes together and opened them again, trying to recognize the number that was calling you at this ungodly hour. When your eyes got used to the brightness you looked at the scree – unknown number. Annoyed, you put the phone aside again and were relieved when it finally stopped ringing. The room turned dark again and you closed your eyes, ready to fall asleep again.
Your phone screen lit up once more, this time another text. You didn’t bother checking it and fell asleep instead, being consumed by complete darkness until the next morning when your alarm went off.
You didn’t check your phone until you sitting in a seat on the bus, surrounded by strangers who were on their ways to work as well. The small red symbol indicated a voice mail. You dialed the number to your voicemail and waited until the automatic announcement signalized the new voice mail. You tried to hear anything but there was just the rush of wind and a faint breathing. Then it was over. Confused, you deleted it, thinking it must’ve been an accident. But your mind wandered back to the night before and the texts. You checked the number from the texts and the one from the voicemail.
You could see the number that was used to text you but not the one from the missed call and the voicemail. So, you had no proof that it was the same number. It made you feel uneasy nevertheless.
What were you looking for?
The message came out of nowhere. The same number as last night. Why? Why was that person texting you? Hadn’t you made it clear that you wanted to be left alone?
Leave me alone.
It’s dangerous on those websites. Ye never know what people you might encounter.
You snorted. Yeah, people like you.
Like you?
It was bold of you to answer but by this point you were more annoyed by that person than scared. How fast your feelings could change…
Like me? I’m pretty harmless.
A short pause before another text came in.
What were you looking for?
He asked again, not leaving it alone. You were about to type in an answer when you stopped. Why didn’t you question it before? Why didn’t you question some stranger suddenly starting to chat you up on the dark web and not long after continued to text you on your phone? It clicked and you chuckled like someone who had just solved a mystery.
Good try but I know it’s you, Daisuke. Quit making up fake names.
You got off the bus and felt your phone vibrate.
What makes you think I’m Daisuke?
You shook your head in disbelief. Why was he keeping this act up? He was there when you entered this website, he was there when your friend sent this message to the group chat and he probably also saw the private message you got before closing the window.
Stop it already. I don’t trust the others doing that shit and you were there when we went on that stupid side. You just want to scare me.
No reply. Now, I’ve got you finally!
Would you believe me if I told you I’m not Daisuke?
This was getting ridiculous.
Please, just leave me alone. I’m about to start work. See you tonight and you better not text me again from this number. It’s getting annoying.
You were invited to a party at night, all of your friends were going as well. You were tired from work but didn’t want to miss out on the fun. You got ready at home. Tight jeans, a cute shirt and pumps – subtle but not too prude. You did your make-up in a cute but sexy way, highlighting your eyes and putting on lipstick. Content with your outfit you left the apartment once your friend’s car showed up, locking the door twice.
“Why would you keep texting me?!” you yelled at Daisuke when you met him at the party. He was making out with his girl, both already drunk. “What?” his eyes were unfocused when you hold your phone screen up in his face. He squinted his eyes to read the texts before he started chuckling. “Why woulddi texxxt you somethn’ like that?” he slurred, a derpy smile on his lips. Frustrated, you threw your hands in the air and stomped off, annoyed by this whole shenanigan. But okay, you would prove that it was him!
You walked off to the side where it was quieter, eyes on Daisuke and his girlfriend, and called the number from the text. It rang twice before someone picked up.
You froze in place. Daisuke was not holding his phone. Rather the opposite; his hands were occupied with moving under his girl’s shirt, groping her breasts shamelessly.
You didn’t dare speak up, a huge lump in your throat. You heard a slow breath from the other side of the phone but nothing more.
“You havin’ fun at the party, Y/n?”
You screamed and dropped your phone, clutching your hands together, bringing them up to your face. Your whole body trembled and you stared at the bright phone screen, the time counting up, indicating the still active call. A few people were looking at you bewildered but didn’t seem to care too much.
Slowly, you picked up the phone again, bringing it back to your ear.
“No need to scream.”
A dark chuckle resonated trough the phone. It sounded amused but it was more than unnerving.
“W-who are you?” You asked with a meek voice. You pressed your back to the wall behind you for support but unable to just hang up the phone.
“Rude to just forget someone’s name. Didn’t take you as this type of girl.”
Dabi, that was his name, you remembered.
“H-how did you get my number?” you demanded to know, insecurity almost oozing out of your voice. Another chuckle, this time a little more sinister.
“You really wanna know?”
Did you? Probably not, but you still answered yes.
“Not gonna tell ya.”
There was another pause before he started speaking again.
“The jeans look good on you. Turn around so I can take a better look.”
Your knees gave in and you started crying, phone clutching in your hand but not able to end the call. The people around you started to look worried and got closer, asking if you were okay.
“You’re usually not supposed to cry when receiving a compliment. You’re supposed to say ‘thank you’. Can you say thank you, Y/n?”
“Leave me alone!” you yelled at the phone and threw it across the room. It smashed against the opposite wall and you saw the screen go black. You pressed your knees against your chest, tears running down your face. Who was this man? Why was he watching you?
Your friends rushed over, worry written all over their faces. “Y/n! Y/n! What’s wrong?” they asked, some of them stroking your back but you couldn’t pull yourself together. The music had stopped and a cluster of people had formed around you.
“Someone is watching me…” you whispered so only your friends could hear. One of them grabbed your phone from the opposite wall and walked over towards you, phone in hand and ready to hand it to you.
“I don’t think it’s broken. You can probably just start it again.” He said and hold it out for you to grab. Hesitantly, you grabbed it but didn’t turn it on.
“C-can you just drive me home, please?” you asked your friend with teary eyes and shaky voice. Concerned, she nodded and helped you up. Some of them insisted on staying with you but you said no. You just wanted to barricade yourself in your apartment and only leave when it was bright outside again.
On your way home you turned on your phone but there were no new messages. But you were far from feeling relieved. Only once you were home and locked every door, every window and hid under your blanket would you feel somewhat safe again. But not right now, not when you were outside and still visible for anyone to see.
“I need to stop at the gas station real quick. You can wait here.” Your friend said and pulled up next to the entrance. She probably wanted to buy some cigarettes. You stayed in the car when your phone vibrated once again. Tears formed in your eyes again; you felt hopeless when you slowly opened the message. There was a picture. It was dark but there was light in the distance. You looked closer and recognized the place.
Without thinking you jumped out the car and started running. You knew you were close to your home, not too far away. You heard your friend call from the distance but you didn’t stop, just ran straight into the forest next to the station which would eventually lead you right to your home. Sticks scratched against your skin, thick roots of trees made you stumble but you always caught yourself.
Your phone started ringing and you could see that it was your friend calling. But you didn’t answer. Instead, you kept on running until you could see houses in the distance. Almost. Just a couple hundred yards.
You crossed the street, fumbling with your keys and needing more than one attempt to unlock the door, looking over your shoulder over and over again to make sure that there wasn’t anyone here.
Tears blurred your vision but finally you managed to unlock your apartment door and closed it right behind you, locking it as often as you could. Before you could feel at least some sort of relief you ran to the windows, checked if they were closed and closed the curtains. Then, and only then did you sink to the floor, starting to sob uncontrollably. Why was this happening? What have you done to deserve this? It was just a stupid dare, why is he targeting me?
A small buzzing sound led your focus to your phone. You didn’t want to look but you had to, regretting it instantaneously. A moan of agony made its way out of the depth of your body. You didn’t want to answer but your hand moved on its own.
“Glad you made it home safely.”
“FUCK OFF! I’M GONNA CALL THE POLICE!!!” you screamed, sure you woke up some of the other residents. Good, you thought. The more people awake the more likely it was that he didn’t do anything funny. His tone changed.
“No, you won’t.” he sounded self-assured, as if he knew exactly how you would behave.
“Cause if you do I have to hurt you.” He said it as if he was talking about the weather, nonchalantly.
“Y-You said you were harmless.” You argued, sounding pathetic. You crawled over the floor to the furthest corner of the room where you could watch the door to your apartment.
“Did I?”
He sounded musing as if he tried to remember.
“Guess it was a lie then.”
“What do you want?” you pleaded but you didn’t get an answer to your question.
“Are you sure you locked the door?”
The sudden question had you widen your eyes. Have you? Of course! It was the first thing you did! But did you really lock it?
“Maybe you should check it.”
You didn’t want to. Maybe he was standing right in front of your door, waiting for you to open it. But what if you didn’t lock the door? Anxiety took over your thinking and you crawled over to the door, checking the handle. Relieve filled your body when you realized it was, indeed, locked.
“Guess you locked it after all. Do you have your keys?”
Keys? You looked up at the small table where you usually kept your keys. No keys. Dread filled you and you wanted to curl up into a ball. Was he in your apartment? Your heard him chuckle again.
“Don’t worry. I don’t have your keys. You probably dropped them somewhere.”
Your eyes wandered over the floor and there they were, next to the bathroom door. How they got there was beyond you but you couldn’t care less. They were there and that was all that mattered.
“Leave me alone. Please!” a high pitched voice you didn’t recognize as your own echoed through the apartment.
“Leave me alone.”
He mocked you.
“But okay. I will leave you alone. If you can tell me where I am right now.”
It clicked and he had hung up. Your head shot up and you looked around. He was in here! You knew it! Or was he messing with you? But how did he know where your keys were? He could’ve guessed. But you should’ve been able to hear him if he actually was in your apartment. He just wanted to make you more and more paranoid.
You got up, knees weak and barely supporting your body weight. Fear clung to your body like a second skin and you tried to keep your mind from racing a thousand miles a minute by telling yourself that he was bluffing. Still, you moved from room to room, turning on the lights and checking every single room.
No one in sight. He’s not here. You felt a burden fall off your back and relief flooded your senses instead. He was just bluffing.
You slowly calmed down but didn’t go to bed until you couldn’t keep your eyes open again. You were almost asleep when your phone vibrated on the night stand. You were too tired to open the message and instead drifted into a dreamless sleep.
You forgot to check the closet.
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19red · 4 years ago
Text
hello, this is me trying to strong-arm my brain into stopping the constant tweaking and re-tweaking of the same stinking 3k so I can write on and get to the good parts of this project namely p and j having all the sex thank you very much
+
The day after Patrick and Jonny bang a chick together, Patrick wakes to the weight of an alien limb squashing his bladder. The alien limb belongs to a furnace-hot, tentacular mass plastered all along his back. The mass smells oddly familiar, kind of citrusy—as if it stole Jonny’s body wash.
Patrick squints his eyes open. A blade of sunlight filters through the half-drawn curtains and stabs him in the face. Right under the window, Jonny’s suitcase dribbles clothes onto the floor.
It shouldn’t be hard to put two and two together, but Patrick’s really dumb first thing in the morning. Plus, he needs to pee. Bad. Which is pretty distracting.
He paws at the tentacle swung over his waist, fingers catching on—a beaded string. Did the alien mass steal Jonny’s bracelet too? Patrick struggles to lift his head. He wants to see.
The alien mass stole Jonny’s whole arm. What--?
A growl spills in a damp, ticklish huff into the crook of Patrick’s neck as the mass coils itself closer. Something hard pokes Patrick’s ass. His nostrils fill with a waft of scent his hindbrain understands as so viscerally Jonny that recognition smacks him dizzy.
The mass is Jonny. Last night, he and Patrick banged a chick together. That thing wedged between them, growing firmer by the second? That thing is Jonny’s—
Patrick’s heart plummets straight to his dick.
It’s okay. It’s whatever. Patrick isn’t gonna freak over a physiological response. Bodies are also really dumb first thing in the morning.
“Jonny,” he says, wriggling to catch Jonny’s attention. Jonny has always been his go-to guy in a crisis. Except, in this instance, he is also the crisis itself. Jonny’s hips buck forward once, twice—Patrick stops breathing for the handful of seconds it takes Jonny’s sleep-drenched, horny-ass body to lose interest and stutter back into relative stillness.
Fuck, Patrick thinks. Visions of impending awkwardness swarm his brain. If Jonny were to wake up right now, full-mast boner pressed to Patrick’s ass, and discover the tent pitched in the front of Patrick’s sweats, he might rush to conclusions. Their ability to make direct eye contact would definitely endure permanent damage. They’d have to restructure their life with the aim of reciprocal avoidance. Patrick would have to request a trade. Jonny would probably drop out of the NHL. He’d forsake hockey and society at large and end up trampled to death by a giant moose while he hides from Patrick in the Canadian wilderness.
Fuck, Patrick thinks again. When a whole minute drips away and Jonny doesn’t stir, he thanks the hockey gods. With very little, very slow movements, he dislodges the arm pinning him to the mattress. By the times he’s free, the light slanting in from the window changed the angle of its assault to his pupils. Still careful, he slides the covers off himself, sits up, swings his legs off the bed. His feet land on the floor just as a variation in the pattern of Jonny’s breathing alerts him it’s all been for nothing. Jonny is awake. Or, like, as close to awake as Jonny manages to be coffee-free and before noon. Which is not much, thank fuck.
“It’s early,” Patrick reassures him. Jonny gets real pissy when he doesn’t get his full eight hours. Patrick doesn’t want to get stuck with Captain seriously cranky and his legitimately lethal death glare on the flight back to Chicago.
Jonny hums, lids fluttering open and back closed immediately, dark lashes kissing the top of his cheekbones. Patrick expects him to just roll over and sink back deep into snoring, the man is easy like that, instead he plumps an arm over the empty space next to him and mumbles, “Come back,” so low Patrick feels the vibration of it in his belly more than with his ears. Jonny must think Patrick’s some chick, maybe his ex or the one from last night.
“Dude,” Patrick chuckles to clear his throat. This is prime chirp material. Jonny’s such a clingy loser. “It’s just me.”
The side of Jonny’s mouth that isn’t squashed into the pillow tugs up in a smile, then his eyes tremble open, searching the space in front of them for Patrick’s, as if he knew where to find him, as if he weren’t surprised. It’s a bit like being punched but with weird, devastating gentleness. Patrick’s left breathless and dazed, a slow ache spreading below his ribs. “Sorry,” he says, legs moving on their own accord. “Sorry, gotta piss.”
Jonny flops onto his belly and sprawls across Patrick’s side of the bed. With a sigh, he hugs Patrick’s pillow to his face. “Be quick,” he whines—or maybe not. It’s muffled and Patrick is already halfway out the door so he can’t be sure. It doesn’t really matter.
***
“Where’s Tazer?” Duncs asks in lieu of good morning when Patrick shows up at breakfast almost two hours later, no captain in tow.
Patrick chomps on a hunk of strawberry toast and shrugs. Contrary to popular belief, no clause in his contract bids him constant awareness of Jonny’s whereabouts.
Duncs squints, clearly feeling entitled to a degree of eloquence involving efforts of the verbal variety and resenting their lack.
“Don’t tell me he’s sick,” Shawzy says.
The legs of Stromer’s chair screech against the floor as he scoots away from Patrick. He ends up almost in Brinsky’s lap. “It better not be catching.”
“Oh my god,” Patrick puffs the words fat with annoyance. “He’s sleeping. I mean, I guess he...” He is for sure. No chance Jonny is still waiting. If Patrick barged back into his room right now, Jonny would laugh, would tell him to stop trying to make things weird. Patrick knows this rationally. Yet some spiked grip squeezes his insides with the same vicious strength of an anaconda trying to crush itself a snack.
People can’t die from upset conscience, can they? Especially not if the upset is unquestionably misplaced, right?
“I mean,” Patrick snaps after a second, “the fuck do I know.”
Duncs eyebrows shoot halfway across his forehead.
“Whoa,” Stromer gasps.
“Wait,” Shawzy says. “Are mum and dad fighting?”
Patrick grinds his molars. Everyone’s so fucking pressed. It’s not like Jonny is a regular at team breakfasts. In fact, unless attendance is mandatory, Jonny prefers to limit the number of people upon which he inflicts the ghastly spectacle of his slow de-zombification to a minimum.
Patrick casts his mind back to the last time the two of them didn’t resort to room-service during game trips. He dredges up both no recollection of that happening in years and the stomach-sinking hunch that maybe this is weird. Maybe he should have gone back. Maybe that would have been the normal thing to do.  
“Shut up,” he says, to the voice in his head and everyone else. He grabs a pitcher of coffee and fills his cup until it brims. “Don’t talk to me. I’m waking up.”
“He’s rubbed off on you,” Shawzy appraises.
He’s more right than he’d probably care to know—nope. Patrick yanks his thoughts away before they can trip over that precipice and splat into the phantom embrace of Jonny’s body and its heft, its warmth, its neediness.
“Shut up,” he repeats, and with big emphatic motions designed to put a period on the conversation, he whips out his phone. He trusts the mindless scrolling will work its time-warping, mind-numbing magic and when he’ll look up next, all the weird will have been purged from this day.
Between sips of coffee, he pores through the stats for the last game, skims the emails in his inbox and rage-reads a review trashing the new Twilight book. He considers sending the link to Erica so he can vent about the snobby assholes who think they’re smarter than everyone else just because all the books they read are boring as fuck, but she’s probably at work already. He scrolls through his contacts. The one of the chick from last night jumps out. Her name’s Chelsea, which is pretty lucky. She was hot, Patrick recons, and thinking that feels normal. Feels safe. Feels like something Patrick would love to feel more of, thank you very much.
Hi, he types, riding the spur of the moment. This is Patrick from last night.
Stupid and risky, his inner Jonny warns. Never give your number to one night stands. Patrick ignores him and for the sake of clarity and glory, adds, The one who made you see god with his tongue.
“Look who’s joining us,” Shawzy’s voice announces just then.
Patrick’s gaze springs up, landing squarely across Jonny’s chest. Patrick knows it’s Jonny’s chest even though he doesn’t let his gaze climb up to the face attached to it for confirmation. The chest is sailing across the breakfast hall toward Patrick. Well, not toward Patrick specifically. Toward Patrick and the rest of the guys.
“Morning,” Jonny mumbles, dropping his scrambled eggs on the table and his ass between Seabs and Crow.
Patrick’s phone chimes.
well hello patrick 😜
“Slept well?” Shawzy probes, feigning innocence. Patrick’s hackles rise.
“I guess,” Jonny says.
Patrick allows himself another quick glance. Jonny looks good, which means like his usual self, which means nothing like a dude who went through the transformative experience of witnessing his best friend o-face.  It’s kind of annoying, actually. Patrick’s nerves are all fried. He’s half-convinced in the right light anybody could look at him and simply—tell. Patrick Kane got off with another dude in the room and enjoyed it. For a blink he’s fourteen and trying to fight a guy almost double his size who called him a cocksucker, that slammed him against the boards and told him not to bother standing up since everyone knows he does his best work from his knees.
His phone chimes again.
“Tell me the truth.”
totally hit me up again next time ur back here
“What?”
Patrick’s heart rate spikes. Would Jonny even be up for it?
Won’t be for the rest of the season :(, he types.
Maybe things feel weird because threeways are a novelty, maybe they just have to work up an immunity. People have threeways all the time and afterward their lives go on undisrupted. But if you’re ever in Chicago… his fingers are so clammy they smudge the screen when he hits send. He reaches for his cup.
“Did you keep our Kaner up all night?”
Patrick’s head jerks up.
“What?” Jonny says, flat.
For the first time since Patrick sneaked out on him, they make direct eye contact.
Shawzy drones on in the background, “Saw you trying to score that hot--”
It last precisely long enough for a sip of coffee to get its lanes mixed as it plunges down Patrick’s throat and somehow u-turn its way out of his body through the nostrils.
Patrick’s lungs try their best to turn inside out.
“Dude,” Shawzy says.
Stromer slaps Patrick’s back a couple of times, hard.
Duncs throws a handful of paper napkins in his general direction and winces in open disgust as Patrick snatches one mid-air and uses it to dab at the liquid leaking out of him. “Gross.”
“I’m fine, thank you,” Patrick informs them tartly between fits of coughing. Some treacherous asshole on his right is fucking cackling. He sweeps the table with an encompassing glare and catches Jonny’s eyes again, all dark with concern. The back of Patrick’s neck prickles with embarrassment. “I’m fine,” he repeats, steadier, and Jonny looks away so Patrick does too, hurriedly withdrawing like from the touch of something scalding.
He zeros in on Chelsea’s new message.
might fly in for a couple of weeks around christmas actually
Patrick latches on to the conversation, blocking out his surroundings, trying his hardest to look busy. Fuck everyone and Jonny too.
We could catch up then if you have time ;)
totally 👅🔥🍆🔥, she texts. And after a moment, say hi to porn dick from me btw
Who?
🙄
Patrick bristles. For some reason, the thought of this random stranger sitting around with her head full of pictures of Jonny’s dick makes him hitch. His chest riots with some misguided protective instinct. Jonny would be insufferably smug if he knew, no doubt about it. It’s not that big.
it is! 100% porn worthy
You don’t know what you’re talking about
???
I’m just saying, are chicks even into that? he writes, just to be an asshole but also because he’s pretty sure chicks hate porn. It’s supposed to be a feminism thing. Erica once made him a whole speech about it or whatever.
big dicks? They are
Haha
their also into porn btw this aint the middle ages AND they have way better taste in it then men
Can you prove it? he asks, hoping it sounds flirty and not confrontational. He wants this chick to bang him again but not over the head with a blunt instrument.
maybe if u stop trying to outdick ur bf with ur personality ill send you some recs
“Who are you texting?”
Patrick elbows his cup off the table and scrambles to catch it before it crashes against the floor. “Fuck,” he mutters, shaking his coffee-soaked hand.
Jonny laughs and at the sound, Patrick’s heart stumbles, then sprints up his throat. “You’re a mess,” Jonny says. He stole Stromer chair.
“Yeah, no, fuck off.”
Stromer is nowhere to be found. He and the rest of the guys must have migrated to the lobby. Patrick picks up the phone from where he abandoned it to make the save and shoves it deep into his pocket just as it pings.
Jonny quirks an eyebrow. He’s smiling.
It feels like Patrick trudged around all morning with a lead rib-cage before the universe caught the glitch. The sudden slack from gravity makes him giddy.  “Don’t be nosy.”
“I’m not!” Jonny protests, all put upon outrage. He flicks Patrick on the hand. “Just saying, team’s gonna suffer if you sprain a thumb.”
A laugh bubbles up Patrick’s chest, loud and easy, and just a little embarrassing.
For a moment, Jonny looks impossibly pleased but then he catches himself. “Everything alright, yeah?” he asks, turning bashful. His eyes drift to the small heap of crumbs he’s sweeping together with his pinkie.
Patrick nudges his thumb against the back of Jonny’s hand. “Yeah. You?”
Jonny’s lips curl up at the corners. “Of course,” he says, looking up, gaze dark and soft.
Of course, of course, of course. Jonny would never let anything happen to them. Patrick stomach flutters. “Okay,” he smiles, dimples out, and Jonny beams back. Time goes fuzzy as they stare at each other in silence—until the ping of an incoming text makes them both startle.
“Again?” Jonny bitches. A moment later, his forehead creases and he puts his serious face on, “Everything okay with your sisters?”
“Yeah, no. It’s not--” Jonny’s eyes flicks to Patrick’s mouth. Patrick hadn’t realized he’d been chewing on his bottom lip. He stops and it tingles, his own breath turning chilly enough to sting as it laps over the bite. “Just-- the chick from last night,” Patrick’s tongue says forgoing any input from his brain. It’s fine. It’s whatever.
“Oh,” Jonny says.
The world keeps rolling. Unfortunately, so does Patrick’s tongue, “Yeah. She’s cool. She was fun.”
“She was okay.”
Patrick can’t believe the understatement. “Okay? Just that? You’ve got some tough standards, man. She was--” as he searches for the right adjective, it suddenly hits him that Jonny has more experience, at least when it comes to threeways. It’s fucking unfair, but entirely possible, the mind-blowingest sex of Patrick’s life would barely chart as okay for Jonny. While he was dating Lindsay, the two of them got up to some kinky shit, Patrick’s pretty sure. Not that he spent any time thinking about it. He licks his lips. “It was hot, right?”
Jonny scoffs. What an asshole.
“Fuck you.”
“It was hot,” he grants. His cheeks are turning pink. He means it.
It feels like scoring the game-winner in the Stanley Cup final. The rush of triumph makes him cocky. “Hotter than the one you had with Lindsay?”
Jonny scoffs again, to Patrick infinite delight. “It was!” Patrick surmises.
“Lindsay’s hotter than her.”
“No way,” he is so offended on Chelsea’s behalf, he barely registers the deflection. Lindsay dumped Jonny. No matter how she looks, her insides must be rotten. Patrick hates that Jonnys is still hung up on her. He kicks Jonny’s foot to make sure he has his attention. “Maybe we should try again. Chelsea’s coming to Chicago around Christmas.”
“Is she?” Jonny kicks him back. “You two move fast.”
“She’s got family there, I think.”
“Sure,” he sounds skeptical. He admitted it was hot, why wouldn't he want a rematch? He and Patrick and some hot chick, she doesn’t even have to be Chelsea, she can be whoever. Small and blonde, like Jonny likes.
“Or we could find someone else,” Patrick says, growing more committed to the idea each second it lives in his brain. “Just go out and see what happens.”
“You think that’s smart?”
Patrick rolls his eyes. “I think you’re boring.” He goes in for the kill, “Captain serious.”
“Fuck you.”
“I’d even let you pick, I don’t care.”
“Starting to sound a bit desperate there, Kaner,” Jonny flashes his most punchable smirk, the one that’s a little lopsided and always makes Patrick squirm.
Patrick starts a mental list of ways to wipe it off his face. Maybe if he shoved two fingers up Jonny’s nose… “What?” he asks, kind of distracted.
“I’m just saying, If you want to see me naked that bad, you only have to--”
“Fuck you,” Patrick sputters. “I was being generous. Bros before hoes or whatever.”
“I’m telling Erica you said that.”
The thought is terrifying. “Don’t,” Patrick shrieks, so loud people in their proximity stop mid-munching to give them the stink eye.
It’s their cue to clear off, a pretty timely one, considering they barely make it on the bus. They’d probably be yelled at, if they weren’t Kane and Toews.
Jonny saunters past Colliton’s glare and flops down next to Seabs. Patrick takes the two seats right behind, stretching out until he’s almost horizontal.
He checks his phone. Chelsea sent him a text and a link. The texts says, one of them looks a bit like your boy. you’re welcome. The link-- Patrick slaps the phone face down on his thigh.
“You okay there, Kaner?” Jonny asks, glancing over his shoulder.
Patrick feels his ears burn redder than the Hawks home jersey. “Yeah, no. Real peachy.”
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runolllo-fanboygirl · 4 years ago
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I'm going to start by clarifying that these are messages I got in response to my post here /// LINK /// After this, I'm not replying to messages about this kinda thing in a long time. Talking about sexualization and such other topics is important but I'm not in a state to be made the center of it. Please, don't come to my inbox asking for discourse, go and create your own posts if you want to raise awareness or vent.
And now to answer to these new asks:
FIRST OF ALL: while I love the way Murata draws men, robotic stuff, monsters... I actually HATE the way he draws ladies! I prefer their proportions in the OPM anime and games. Murata is literally SO BAD at drawing women compared to the level of expertise he has drawing men, and it's all ‘cos he keeps drawing ladies "the h0rny way". We all know this, let's move on.
"He's drawing all the monster girls sexualized" Did the fact that Manako's genre reveal deconstructs the trope "the default is male" totally go over your head? That Psykos's reveal as a woman running the whole MA was a big deal for this same reason as well? There are a bunch of female monsters… you just assume they're all male unless you see big b00bs and then complain about that very fact. They literally made a whole point about this specifically!
"He changed Mizuki's shorts to p4nties to please fanboys" I liked the shorts better too (just because I find her whole character design a bit more balanced that way) so that change bothered me as well, but the "p4nties" are actually standard athletic wear for competition. Shorts are not. Technically, she’s drawn more accurately now.
"Sports Bras don't work that way he just wants to draw b00bs" neither do the shirts and bodysuits the guys are wearing. You can see all their muscles and manb00bs and cr0tch lines, just as much as with Fubuki and Tatsu's hero outfits and Mizuki's top.
"But when the boys are drawn that way, it's not to please the ladies, it's male power fantasy" THERE IS NO HETEROSEXUAL MALE POWER FANTASY BULLSHIT THAT CAN POSSIBLY EXPLAIN THE WAY MURATA DRAWS GAROU, FLASH, SONIC, STINGER AND SOME OF THE OTHER GUYS. The fact is that the way he draws eye candy of them appeals to other collectives other than the cis het men and he knows exactly what he's doing. Period.
"He constantly draws sexualized art of Mizuki to please the fanboys" Why exaggerate so much? This is simply not true. She's a woman in athlete wear, most of the time she's either standing up talking or fighting, no weird angles or anything. There is like 1 sexy cover of her, the back cover with all the girls in bikinis and then that infamous watermelon sequence. That's all the sexualization you are talking about.
"Mizuki only gets so much screen time because of how much p0rn of her there is" oh yeah Mizuki got a grand total of, like, *drum roll* 1 chapter and a half dedicated to her! Wow! Which is NOTHING taking into consideration how dense Garou's arc is and the fact that they will need at least 2 seasons of the anime to finish it.
But think about this: OPM desperately needed more female presence, in special with the prospect of finishing Garou's arc in the anime. Making anime is hard and COSTLY. Most of the people who is going to watch the anime haven't read the manga and they'll be like "what the heck there are no female characters in this anime for like 3 seasons?" and there is no team that's going to risk it working with such prospects. We know why.
Of all the expansion that Garou's arc got in the manga adaptation (and later in the anime), one of the most sensible and balanced decisions was to add more ladies. They put all those monster ladies for season 2, and then for season 3 we get Manako and Mizuki having some strong presence, Shadow and Kamaitachi there a bit in the back too. It benefits the pace and balance of both the manga and the future season 3 so immensely because Fubuki, Tatsumaki and Psykos take a LOOONG while to be relevant during Garou's Arc… in special with all the filler the manga put in between (but all that filler is of the S-Class boys getting development and a reality check which is kinda important too lol).
Point is: the screentime Mizuki got was VERY necessary to balance things in between of all the relentless Garou fights and the boys being boys. Sure Mizuki is beautiful and sexy and all, but really EVERYONE was waiting for a new female character that was relevant, likeable, fun… and on top of everything, it's so rare to see a strong 2m tall girl in fiction in general, not even just anime. Everyone got instantly excited about her because she's exactly what we needed AND MORE. And sure, people draw p0rn of her like they do with most other popular characters, what did you expect.
"The ladies are always more sexualized-" YES, in the OPM manga, the ladies are a little more sexualized than the men –but not by much AND not during plot stuff. By that I mean that most of the so called "sexualizing the girls" happens in the covers, back covers and promotional art very exclusively, and not during the story itself. HOWEVER, a lot of the sexy men bits do happen during the story, curiously.
 In the anime though, there is almost zero ladies fanservice (which makes sense since there is almost no female presence in the first 2 seasons anyway). Yet it's full of naked dudes, sometimes for a good reason, but mostly just so we can look at them being sexy and silly.
 I personally don't care if the man candy and ladies fanservice is not perfectly even in Murata's manga adaptation, because there is enough of both in his work, as well as other official OPM stuff like the anime and games to bring a very nice balance in the s3xy department.
 "The way the women are dressed-" Most of the background ladies are wearing skirt uniforms and shit, but all the relevant ladies primarily dress in nothing you can call "sexualized" except for maybe Tatsumaki with her strong leg game. To recall:
 Lilly wears the same as the men of the Blizzard Group; Twin Tail just dresses like a jester; Mizuki is the first to show so much skin, but she's still wearing real standard competition wear for athletes. All the other sportwomen (Hornet and Swim) and martial artists (Shadow, Suiko, Lin Lin) wear standard clothes for their respective professions too. Sure we've seen Shadow wearing some, uh, ninja bikini thing under her ACTUAL work clothes, but for actual fights she's fully dressed and surprisingly not stuffed in a tiny nylon bodysuit that rips like stocking, like all the ninja men in the series do lmao.
Fubuki and Tatsumaki are, like, the only ones wearing dresses and they can because they use psychic powers anyway. Fubuki doesn't even show ANY skin, ever! She just happens to have big b00bs! Kamaitachi is the other one wearing a "skirt" but it's similar to what Japanese martial artists would wear, too.
So, again… all this sexualization we are talking about is not even happening anywhere except in Murata's covers and some promotional art. ONE is famous for treating ladies very fairly, even if Murata tries very hard to exploit the sexy out of every single of the ladies ONE creates. All these ladies have their own agenda and personality that have nothing to do with being pretty or f*ckable. In fact, in-universe, no one ever mentions if the heroines are beautiful or sexy and no one ever talks about liking them for those reasons (except for Lilly and Erika who are gay for Fubuki and Tatsumaki respectively, amazingly enough no hetero characters mention it). I think the first time we've ever seen a relevant character talking about dating another relevant character is when Suiryu told Saitama and Suiko to date (but Suiryu is the resident h0rny fuckboy of the series, if someone was going to say something so stupid for all the wrong reasons, it was going to be him).
For being an adult series, a seinen that parodies shonen tropes and all, OPM is seriously very tame in the sexy ladies department. For this series, the sexy is just a luxurious accessory, just one more little thing. It's always pretty weird when people get so angry and disappointed about a new sexy girl cover or a couple of compromising panels, like they don't know what to expect.
 "He only draws that way to please the h0rny fanboys" Murata IS a h0rny fanboy himself and draws shit that appeals to him as much as he feels he’s allowed to insert in the series. Please remember he's the insane fanboy that reached up to ONE to beg him to continue One Punch Man and offered to make a manga adaptation to promote OPM.
From the moment Murata started drawing OPM, the tone of the manga was set and never changed: lots of blood and guts, comical and non-comical nudity, irreverence, sexy angles, Genos ripping his shirts off, ninjas in body suits that rip like they are nylons… people in shirts, tanktops and dresses so tight you can see all their muscles, boobs and even belly buttons whether they are men or women or otherwise… h0rny chapter covers, stupidly h0rny monsters…
Just reading the manga to the point where Genos and Mosquito Girl first appear, you know what you are in for with OPM. I don't know what some fans are expecting to see in OPM next, but I'm going to take a wild guess here and say: you should expect more of the same.
 At the end of the day, the manga is Murata's work with ONE, and if he likes drawing h0rny ladies more than boys, that's how things are! This is just 2 guys with their passion project. I don't expect of them the same as if there was a bigger team with a big budget behind the series, like it happens with many games and shows. In this last case, I would be a lot stricter about all this, because with more resources you're expected to do better things.
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hypnoticwinter · 4 years ago
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Down the Rabbit Hole part 33
“Fumi?”
“Yeah?”
“Tell me a story.”
“A story?” he says, glancing over. In the vent there’s nothing but the soft squelching of our cleated feet and a drip-drip-drip of a flowing river of sluggish, phlegmy mucus running along a divot over on the left. I nod.
“Yeah, a story. Like, about work. Ranger stuff. I’m sure you’ve got some good stories.”
He laughs. “A few, maybe,” he concedes.
Getting across into the actual flesh of the Pit from the wreck of the LVC had been easier than either of us had thought it would be. The gantry we had been looking for was long gone by the time that we got to the bottom of the LVC, with the only evidence of its passing being a couple of rigid metal rods and torn, rusted grating, but above us was our lucky break – due to the way the Visitor Center had fallen, it had actually cut into the Pit’s gullet on the way down, leaving a long, jagged scar of porous tissue in its wake and, at the very bottom, a gaping, partially-healed hole leading directly into what Fumi said was once the trail downwards to the Gastric Sea. It was a little hairy to begin with; the wound had ruined the previously neat trail, and the Pit had begun to reclaim it. Paths branched off, seemingly at random, that our maps had no record of. Here and there we’d see skittering things darting away from our flashlights, fleeing into pores or deeper, smaller vents we couldn’t see into.
Just copepods, Fumi had said when I asked. Harmless unless you’re alone and they’re feeling particularly brave or hungry. But even so I noticed that he kept his hand resting comfortably on the butt of his pistol, ready to draw it at a moment’s notice, and so I emulated him, and kept a wary eye behind us as we picked our way through the nest of tunnels and warrens and veins.
After I while I became afraid that we might hit a dead end and that we’d not be able to get through to the trail proper, which Fumi said would curve up and around down to the ballast bulbs, but just when I was getting to the point where I thought I might say something about it the vent widened out and Fumi had let out a triumphant whoop. We’re on the right track now, he had assured me, pointing to where we were on the map, and I had let a little involuntary shudder of relief pass over me because finally, finally we could really get going.
Now we’re clambering through a stinking vent that once housed a pedestrian trail. The thing Fumi hadn’t really mentioned is how long it would take. The path that looked so easy and short was in actuality four or five miles, a solid two or three hour hike in an environment like the Pit. My leg is holding up alright so far, especially now that I’m doing less running and jumping and falling, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do more than a couple days’ worth of this. Even with the boot I put my foot down occasionally and get a worrying, bone-deep twinge like a jolt of electricity, feeling like it’s running up some magic conduit from my heel all the way to the top of my head.
You can still see the remains of the trail here and there. Plastic placards, partially dissolved and stained beyond legibility, peeking out from behind masses of tumorous flesh. Rusty chain-link here and there, little strips of it grown over by pale, moisture-slick skin. If you look too closely at anything down here you shudder.
“Alright, I’ve got a story for you,” Fumi says. “Most of the work we do involves escorting supplies down to the deeper installations within the Pit, looking after science teams, making sure nothing and nobody bothers the few little extractions operations for stuff like ballast and bone plates. It’s a lot of wildlife control, basically. Very, very occasionally we’d do interdiction stuff. People get in, try to hide out in here, do all kinds of crap. I remember hearing a story about some guys who were running a drug lab in a trailer out on the very edge of the restricted area on the surface. Only got busted because Makado had to rush out somewhere in a hurry for something or other, I don’t remember what exactly, and she took a helicopter and they happened to fly right over. That really made her crack down on the topside ranger teams, let me tell you.”
“Topside?”
“So basically there are two teams,” he explains. “Us, the Sergeant’s team, we’re Venterial Ops. Anything underground, inside the Pit, we handle. That’s why we have Elena, for example. I don’t know if she told you but her main specialization is cave diving, she used to be in the Coast Guard. The other team is larger, they hang out in the other barracks topside. Overland Ops patrols the surface of the restricted area, handles anything that doesn’t concern the actual Pit itself. A lot of people don’t realize this but the restricted area isn’t just, you know, the Pit, it covers a whole lot of the ground above as well. You need manpower if you’re going to patrol it. With me so far?”
“Yes,” I nod. “So the overland team, they never go down into the Pit?”
“Oh, they train in it occasionally,” Fumi says, waving his hand. “But not to the extent that we do. It’s expensive and difficult and time-consuming just because the Pit is not a particularly good environment to make mistakes in. What if you can’t recognize a digestive pit or a triocanth sign? I mean, there are so many ways to die down here if you’re careless, especially now that we’ve cut down on our impact down here so much. If you’re stuck down here your options are either getting to the Control Center, getting to one of the very few listening stations and outposts we still have down in the depths of the Pit, or trying to call for help. That’s it.”
“So it’s easier logistically to have two separate groups like that?”
“Yeah, exactly. It hurts the overhead a little but if everybody was Pit-trained they’d be spending even more on them, so…”
“Right,” I say. There’s a long stringy mass of fibrous tissue stretching from the roof to the pitted ground, and I duck around it, let Fumi pass behind. “So what was the story?”
“Oh, right. So we were escorting some science folks down to that listening station in Oyster’s Shame. Shift change, essentially, except they way they do it is two weeks on, two weeks off. They rotate like that, make sure nobody’s spending too much time down in the Pit, that kind of thing. There are health checks that they have to do. If you’re in Science, half the time you’re up in a lab over in the science building doing egghead things and the other half you’re down here in a lab doing egghead things,” he laughs.
“Six of one, half a dozen of the other,” I suggest, and Fumi nods.
“Exactly. So we’re taking these guys down, pretty simple trip, one we’ve all done dozens of times. One of the science guys is new, and he is just absolutely gushing over everything he’s seeing down here. Some sort of environmental scientist type, real nerd. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a nerd but sometimes you just – certain people fulfill the stereotype more than other people, right? Anyway, Crookshank decides to play a prank on the guy. We’re taking a break for lunch and Crookshank pretends to lick a nerve ending in the wall. Now, first off, don’t ever do that, but Crookshank is – was – a maniac and you can’t keep him down. This egghead sees Crookshank do it (of course, he didn’t actually do it, just pretended to) and starts to freak out, but Crookshank is like ‘oh, it’s cool, it enhances the flavor in these MREs, you should try it.’ And of course Slate gets in on it, because Slate has – er, had – the mind of a middle-schooler and can’t resist clowning around, and together they gradually convince this nerd that it makes your standard run-of-the-mill MRE taste orgasmic.”
“Why shouldn’t you lick nerve endings?”
“Have you seen anything down here that you’d want to lick?”
I try unsuccessfully not to think of Elena and end up just shaking my head.
“But on top of that,” Fumi continues, “Pit nerve fibers can do weird things to the human nervous system. Not usually permanent or even really harmful things…just weird things. A big one was an ability to see into the ultraviolet spectrum. You might have heard about that; they made some big breakthroughs in optics in the 80s thanks to experiments with Pit nervous tissue. But there can be weirder stuff too – occasionally you’d see some spooky things going on in the Cord thanks to all the nerve tissue there. Intrusive thoughts, ‘occult’ stuff like objects levitating, seeing things out of the corner of your eye, ‘hauntings…’ in some places down here there are still little alarms that go off if they read too much nervous activity. So you can imagine that it might be a bad idea to lick one.”
“What happened to the guy?” I ask. The further we’ve gotten the more horribly rank the air has grown, to the point where we both have put on our helmets. The path we’re following opens out after a torturously twisting, intestine-like track and we find a series of bulbous, swollen sacs protruding from the floor and the walls, filled with a noxious, chunky liquid a lot like raw vomit. I can feel my gorge rising and I fix my eyes resolutely on my feet and end up just taking shallow breaths through my mouth for the long ten or so minutes it takes for Fumi to guide me through to the other side. We squeeze through a rough, suppurating sphincter and find a set of stairs, so rusty and dilapidated they might as well have come straight out of a Silent Hill game. Here and there long strands or trickles of flesh have melted or grown through the chain-link cage surrounding the stairs and pooled in rough, saggy, wrinkled puddles on the floor. It’s such an unspeakably bizarre image that we both stop and stare at them.
“I bet those feel…absolutely horrible to step on,” Fumi says.
“I’m not stepping on any of those,” I murmur.
“And with the cleats…” Fumi continues.
“Oh god,” I say, wrinkling my nose. A particularly swollen one seems to glisten at me. “Why does it do that? Why does it grow stuff like this?”
“Why does the Pit do anything?” Fumi shrugs, jerking his head forwards. “At least we’re on the right track. This is the staircase down to the ballast bulbs.”
“Is it even safe to walk on?”
“Do you see a different option?”
“Fair point,” I grunt. I take a ginger step forward and put my weight on the stairs, cringing inwardly. My foot nudges against one of the nodules of flesh. I can feel it pressing against me through the fabric of the suit. I grimace and take another step, and then another. “Come on,” I tell him. “Let’s just get this over with.”
We get a couple of flights down before I remember. “Oh, right – what happened to the guy?”
“Which guy?”
“You know,” I say. “The nerd who licked the nerve ending.”
“Oh, right. It made him see…something. Gave him the fright of his life, ended up pissing himself in his suit.”
“Oh,” I say. I had been expecting something funny but this just seems sad. Fumi reads it in my face, nods at me.
“Yeah,” he says. “Elena actually got really pissed off at Crookshank for that one. They’ve never liked each other very much but that little stunt kind of pushed her over the edge. They got in a shouting match right there and the Sergeant had to break it up.”
I can’t stop myself from smiling. “That’s my girl,” I murmur.
“Well…”
“Well what?”
“Uh, well it turned out that she was sleeping with the nerd and that’s why she was so heated about it.”
I look at Fumi for a moment and then burst out laughing. “You’re not serious.”
“Dead serious.”
I think about it and then shrug. “What?” I ask. “Am I supposed to get jealous?”
“I just find it so strange that you aren’t.”
“That’s in the past,” I tell him. “I don’t care what she did before we met, I care about how she treats me. I mean, she has to have treated me pretty well to get me to risk my life for her like this.”
“True,” Fumi admits. “Or maybe you just don’t value your life very much.”
Before I can think of a response that would be both truthful and a denial of the accuracy of that statement, Fumi takes a step forward. As he puts his weight down on the next step the staircase groans sonorously and we both freeze. I feel a little stab of fear piercing the bottom of my stomach and reach over quickly to grab the guardrail, for all the good it’ll do me. We stand there frozen for a minute, maybe two, waiting for the entire thing to collapse, and when it isn’t forthcoming I slowly, gradually unclench my insides and put my weight back on the step.
“Jesus,” I murmur.
“Yeah, these are probably a little unsafe.”
“You think?”
The next four flights go by quickly. The blobs of flesh haven’t spread this far down, or at least they haven’t yet. The meat beyond the retaining walls, buckled in places, is a strange, waxy tone that makes it look like it’s fake. If it didn’t shudder and writhe in time with whatever alien rhythms govern the Pit’s heartbeat I’d think it were a model.
Ahead of us, rising like vapor off a bog, I can smell the stench of ballast, combined with the familiar meaty Pit-smell pervading the air, along with something earthy and sour that lingers at the back of my throat. It makes my heart race and my gorge rise simultaneously. That accidental encounter with Crookshank in the ballast bulb…I had never been so scared or so turned on in my entire life. The memory of it leaves me vaguely nauseous.
“You doing okay?” Fumi asks, nudging me.
“I’m fine,” I murmur through gritted teeth. I do not want to throw up in this helmet. I take a deep breath and then let it out. I’m okay. It’s going to be fine. Elena is down here and the ballast totally healed her and everything is fine, just peachy-keen. We’re going to kiss and hold hands all the way out of here and then…
“Do you really think she’s down here?” Fumi asks.
“Where else would she be?” I say. “It’s either here or she’s dead somewhere and I’m still trying to be optimistic at least.”
Fumi says something else but I’m not paying attention. We’ve finally reached the landing, and past a pair of crooked, bent, rusted doors is something that must have once been a utility corridor for servicing the machinery used to keep the ballast pools running. The entire corridor is so thickly covered with dense, clustered mushrooms that I can scarcely see any surface that isn’t completely blotted out by coarse white fungous flesh.
“Shit,” Fumi murmurs.
The acrid, weird smell is stronger down here and I’ve finally recognize it – it’s the reek of those horrible, throat-coating spores from the nightmare of the fungal jungle deep down in the Pit’s rancid guts, where Marcus and Peter and Erica and – and Klaus had died.
Where I had killed Klaus.
Thinking about it makes me shiver. This past day – there hasn’t been time to think. Everything has been sweeping me along with the same force and velocity as a riptide. I haven’t had time to – to acknowledge it.
Unbidden, the image of him clapping his hand to his throat springs to my mind. The gun had felt like a dead weight in my hand. It hadn’t even felt like my hand, it had felt like I was controlling it at a distance, like I was playing a video game. I remember the way his eyes had widened in shock and how he had staggered back, the knife clattering out of his trembling hands. He had tried to swipe at me with it even then but the strength had left him.
I’ve already sealed my suit. I hadn’t wanted to waste the filters or the battery before by running the rebreather but these spores aren’t going to give us a choice. I don’t want to be hallucinating again.
At the end of the hallway is a door. It takes the two of us some serious effort to pry it open, levering at the rusted, mossy handle, but once we get it open we stumble into what must have once been one of the main baths. The fungus grows here too, in greater size and density. There are things living here; a dozen little things scurry and hop and slither away from us, darting away from the reach of our flashlight beams. Some of the mushrooms, the bigger blue-veined ones with the caps that look like they’re melting, visibly deflate as we rake our lights over them, puffing out clouds of hazy spores.
“I’m not sure that Elena’s here,” Fumi says softly, looking around. I feel my insides tighten even as he says it.
A massive hole has broken open in the tile over on the far end of the pool. I think I see something within it move. I reach over and tug at Fumi’s sleeve. “Fumi,” I hiss. “Did you see that?”
“See what?”
“Over there,” I point. “Inside that big fucking hole, I thought I saw –“
“Whatever you saw,” Fumi tells me, “it wasn’t Elena. If she even came down here, she’d have taken one look at it and then turned right around and left. You said that Erica took her helmet. Look at all these spores. Do you think that –“
“God damn!” something cries out of the murk and darkness down at the far end of the pool. The milk-white ballast seethes incontinently beneath the wan glare of our flashlights, and I can feel the bottom drop out of my stomach. “God damn!” it repeats.
“That’s Elena,” I say.
“Roan, no,” Fumi says. I shoot him a look like he’s gone mad.
“Listen to her,” I tell him. “That’s her voice! I’d know it anywhere.”
As if to punctuate my argument, the voice cries out again. “Oh god! Oh fuck!”
I charge forward, stomping into the ballast with reckless abandon. “Elena!” I call out. My heart is jumping in my chest and I have to consciously force myself not to grin madly. Elena is here! God, she’s here! I was right, she did come to the ballast bulbs, she did –
“God damn!”
“Roan, stop!” Fumi yells from behind me. I can hear him starting to stomp after me but I don’t have an iota of brainpower left to devote to the question of why he’d want to stop me. The ballast ripples around my legs, but it’s relatively shallow, at least this end of the pool. I hope I don’t have to swim in it to get to her.
“God damn!”
“Elena, I’m coming!”
“STOP! Roan, it’s a –“
My foot catches against something in the ballast and I lose my balance. I try to catch myself on my hands but the pool deepens just ahead of me and I end up pitching face-first into the murk. “Goddam,” I mumble. I don’t know what I tripped on, it feels like a log or something, but that doesn’t make a ton of sense to be down here. What is –
The log wriggles to life and wraps itself around my ankle. I have enough time to let out a small, terrified squeak before it whips me bodily off my feet and starts tugging me through the ballast towards the hole in the tile. I hear a splash from behind me as Fumi wades it, and I realize that I’m screaming.
Another rope or vine or tentacle joins the first, and this one fixes around the thigh of my other leg. I reach down, fighting against the thing’s pull, and get my hands on my pistol. I jerk it out of the holster so fast that I almost lose it, flick the safety off, and then fire off three rounds into the darkness lurking where the tentacles converge, but I don’t think I hit anything. Another tentacle seizes around my wrist and though I try to get loose, I end up dropping the gun.
Fumi calls out from behind me but I can’t pull myself together enough to answer him. Another tentacle has fixed around my midriff, another around my neck, and it squeezes so tightly that almost immediately I see stars bursting in my eyes and everything goes off-kilter like the world’s been tilted.
My flashlight skews across the face of the thing that’s tugging me in and for a moment I can’t comprehend it. It looks like a…a flower, all folds and delicate fleshy petals, but the colors are off. I can’t think, I’m not getting enough oxygen.
A mouth opens in the center of the flower, unfolding like a piece of origami. I see delicate, foot-long, razor-sharp teeth, almost translucent in the light.
The tentacles around my neck and leg loosen, and then drop me entirely. I smack into the surface of the ballast and rapidly sink under. I’m still too woozy to do much about it other than flail my arms helplessly. The air is hot and stuffy in this helmet and I can feel a tingle somewhere along the side of my ribcage, accompanied by a stinging wetness that makes me realize my suit has a hole and ballast is leaking in.
I can’t think, my brain feels like it’s been unplugged. I’m going to drown inside my suit down here and I can’t do anything about it –
The last tentacle loosens and slips away and then I feel hands tugging at my arms. Without thinking I cling to them, the slippery ballast making my grip clumsy. I batter against my rescuer, trying to get a grip on them. There’s a horrendous noise filling the air, making the ballast vibrate with the force of it. Amid the torrent of sound I can hear someone yelling at me, telling me to stop, and when I crack my eyes open I see Fumi tugging me closer to him and trying to swim us away at the same time. I get my arm around his waist and we both dip under.
“Fuck this,” he says when I come up next and then he cocks his arm back and punches me in the side of the head. I go limp immediately and for the next few minutes I am not quite unconscious but I am definitely woozy enough to let Fumi drag me bodily out of the pool and then pick me up and carry me out of that horrible room and back to the staircase we came in at.
I manage to hobble up two flights of stairs on my own before I stumble and Fumi has to let me lean on him to get up another two. Up here the air is clearer and I can finally pop my helmet and breathe in deep, grateful gulps of it without feeling the spores trickling in and lining my throat. I sit down heavily on a step that isn’t encrusted with bloody moss and lichen and give Fumi a bleak look.
“I’ve been so fucking stupid,” I mutter. Fumi tries to put his arm around me but I shrug it off. “Goddam it, I’ve been so stupid.”
“Roan –“
“Fuck!” I shout. It echoes up and down the rickety staircase, my own voice reflected back at me in a mocking tone. My neck and arms are still sore and if I close my eyes I can feel that horrible thing’s tentacles or vines tugging tight around my throat and choking the life out of me…
“Roan,” Fumi tries again. “You aren’t stupid.”
“Elena was never down here,” I say. I can hear the cheerlessness in my voice. “She’s probably dead someplace ten minutes from the Cord. I should never have –“
“Roan!” Fumi barks. I look at him, not bothering to wipe my eyes.
“What?”
“Roan, you have to stop trying to throw your life away,” he says. His eyes are dark and serious and suddenly I find I can’t meet his gaze. “No, look at me,” he says.
“I’m really not into this paternal bullshit,” I start, but Fumi takes my head in his hands and very gently turns it so I don’t have any choice but to stare into his eyes. I almost slap him. At the very least I snarl out the beginning of an imprecation, but Fumi just stares me down. “I don’t –“ I start, but he shakes his head.
“Your life isn’t over,” he tells me. “You still have plenty to live for.”
“But if Elena’s dead –“
“Fuck Elena! Even if Elena were dead you’d have something to live for. When we find her do you think your relationship with her is going to last very long if you’re just hanging your entire existence off of her?”
“I – “
“I don’t need you flaking out on me right now,” he tells me. “When Ellis died, I –“
“Ellis?”
“Oh, fuck it. Forget it,” he says, standing up. “Do whatever the hell you want, you want to be a clingy son of a bitch when we get to Elena, be my goddam guest –“
“No, Fumi, I’m sorry, I didn’t –“
“Forget it, I said,” he tells me. My cheeks are burning. I’ve gone and broken the camel’s back. Of course him and Ellis were close, but…it doesn’t matter.
“Fumi, I didn’t mean –“
“Elena’s alive,” he says, his voice harsh. “Or at least she was, recently. Because ballast sirens can only repeat sounds they’ve heard. She probably pried open a door, took one look at that place, said ‘god damn!’ and ‘oh fuck!’ and left, and the siren’s probably been parroting it back for the better part of a day since then, hoping something would be stupid enough to wander into reach…”
“How was I supposed to know?” I yell. “How was I fucking supposed to know? I’ve never heard of a fucking ballast siren! I don’t know what they do!”
“I was yelling after you telling you not to go!” Fumi shouts. “If you had just fucking listened to me you wouldn’t have –“
“Yeah, well you fucking punched me!”
“I punched you,” he hisses, taking a step towards me, “because you were fucking panicking. You were going to drag me down with you and if I let you, we both would have died back there. I had to make you go limp, so I punched you! Of course you probably would have been okay with the two of us dying, given your fucking martyrdom fetish –“
“I don’t have a martyrdom fetish!”
“Then fucking act like it!”
“Fuck you!”
“You need to calm the fuck down,” he says, pointing a finger at me. “I can’t believe you talked me into this damn-fool errand. I had no idea you were such a –“
“Fucking leave, then,” I tell him. There’s a part of my brain screaming at me to stop, but I can’t stop. I’ve already let the words out. “If I’m so much of a fucking burden and too much of a loose cannon then fucking leave. Just go back up. I’ll find Elena myself.”
Fumi’s face falls. When he speaks his tone is gentler. “Look, I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to –“
“Just go!” I yell, pointing up the stairs. “Just fuck off!”
“Roan, don’t do this.”
“Just leave!” I say. My voice is thick and raw and I realize that I’m crying. “I can do this myself! I don’t need you!”
“Roan, you –“
“Go!” I shriek, and then before I know it I’m clambering to my feet and pulling up my sleeves, clenching a fist and getting ready to swing at him. Everything’s taken on a red tinge, even redder than normal down here in the Pit, and the horrible throbbing thump of my heartbeat is ringing in my ears like an immense drum.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Fumi says, throwing up his hands, and then he turns and hurries up the stairs.
I stand there for a long, long while, breathing hard, letting all of my anger drain out of me. Eventually I feel empty enough to find a nice clear spot on the rusty steps, brush away the mushrooms and polypous clumps of pooled flesh and sit. I think about burying my head in my hands, but I don’t.
After a moment I take out my radio from its holster on my belt and look at it. Fumi had warned me not to even try anything with it, he’d said that it’d be easy for anyone listening in, such as the FBI or people in the Control Center, to triangulate my position and there’d be no guarantee Elena would even have a radio to respond with if I did try to call her.
But I don’t see another choice. My hand is shaking a little and I feel as though if I stand up I’d just fall right over again. If I don’t do something I’m going to have a panic attack.
I crack the radio up to its broadest range-band and hold down the broadcast button. I can’t think of what to say. Eventually I shake my head and then lick my lips and give it my best shot. “Elena?” I ask. My voice catches a little but I swallow hard and force it back down. “Elena, it’s Roan. If you’re – if you’re out there and you can hear this, l-let me know. Please.”
I let the button go and then wait, heart pounding. I try to keep myself from counting the seconds, but I can’t. Ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty. I stop after a minute and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to stop the hot tears from leaking from them. She’s not out there, she’s dead or trapped somewhere without a radio, I knew it was a long shot, I shouldn’t have even bothered. If I hadn’t bothered I could at least pretend that –
The radio clutched loosely in my hands crackles to life. I glare at it, half-expecting to hear Fumi chew me out for using the radio in the first place.
“Roan?” Elena says. “Oh, my god, Roan, baby, is that you? Oh god, is that you?”
Continue with Part 34
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everything-laito · 4 years ago
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Never expected the Laito vs Shin CD to be this deep on Laito’s side. Hi, I’m back at it again with another long rant.
Hiiii! It’s Corn here, with a long awaited analysis of the Laito vs Shin drama cd! 
I didn’t expect to like this pairing as much as I did, but honestly Shin’s abrasiveness brought more out of Laito than I expected. Maybe it’s also the combination of Laito struggling to keep himself restrained. 
If you wanna hear my shitpost 2 am reactions to this, here’s the link. I go back now and realize I forgot some stuff in my notes to put in there, but oh well haha. If you want me to release the ones I forgot let me know lololol, my 2 am ramblings are pretty funny in hindsight. Thank you to @/dialovers-translations for providing the translations to these CDs! If you want to check the CD out for yourself, here it is. And as always, if you want to add anything, feel free to! Huge analysis under the cut :)
So the CD starts off with Laito and Yui. They’re in public somewhere and Laito’s being… Laito. But he’s trying to be quiet which was off putting for me at first. Anyways, this takes place right after the Lost Eden ending. I will admit I haven’t played Lost Eden or has seen the translations yet (I like playing the games as I do) but I do know that in in some endings the Sakamakis (and Mukamis???? I think??? Not sure) inherit daddy ketchup’s power. (I think it’s all of them that do in their endings but correct me if I’m wrong). 
So we know that Laito doesn’t like violence from him saying it multiple times in past games, drama cds, etc. He also mentioned in Haunted Dark Bridal that he doesn’t like family politics and has no interest in having the throne/Karl’s power. So, safe to assume from the start he doesn’t like having this power. And oh boy he is NOT having it. 
In my notes of the first track I made a quip of that Laito’s been kind of a “wannabe romantic.” I know that’s not the best way to describe it, but he’s like “human girls like this right?” or “this is what you do in a relationship, right?” (And he either puts his own twist on it or it ends up being More Blood’s vampire ending). So in this he holds your hand, no tricks, no nothing. I know this is a result of Rejet’s writing change after HDB, but also I think it’s some development on Laito’s end too (either way, it’s cute as hell). I honestly took this as him trying to distract himself from the power he now has; one that he never wanted in the first place. And we know Laito: master of distracting himself from his own issues and other people. 
Laito: “Fufu…You’re shaking~ In that case, should we just dive down from here while I hold you in my arms? …We’ll reach the ground in no time, but it might be reaaaaaally scary.”
Laito: “I’m not going to jump down. After all, I’ve decided I won’t use these powers no matter what.”
Although it takes some deeper knowledge of Laito, he definitely is using the ol “making fun of things I’m insecure about = coping mechanism” plenty of people like to do. He’s teasing himself; making a little quip of it and then kinda turning serious, yet still remaining his “~playful Laito façade~” self. In my notes I say that I’m glad Rejet stuck by with Laito’s whole “I have no interest in these powers” kinda thing. I also think that it scares him, on top of the fact that he just doesn’t give a shit. Or him having the “I don’t give a shit” attitude is a cover up for that fear? We’re gonna go deeper into that, my fellow sinners. 
Before I get into that, I just wanted to point out yet another quote that follows the ones that I put. 
Laito: “Don’t look so puzzled. This is the human world, isn’t it? It would be odd. There’s no hidden meaning behind it. That’s all.”
I liked my note in response to this quote: “H A H don’t be so DAFT, Laito, you’re the KING of double meanings. I know this is a liiiieeeeee” and man, I gotta agree with my cryptid self. He’s using the fact that it’s the human world as an excuse for him to not use his powers. Which…. Is a valid excuse. But this is also Laito we’re talking about. And he just sucked your blood in public. And moaned. I can see right through you man. Laito without double meanings is just…. He can’t exist. There’s no way. Sure he’s developed but if he’s still sticking with his façade from time to time, it’s a safe assumption; deductively. 
As for Laito fearing his powers, it really starts to prove itself by Track 02. Shin finds him, attacks him with wolves, and Laito STILL doesn’t use his powers, even in self defense. For a man that has 0 self restraint typically,,,,,, he really can restrain himself for the most specific things. This further supports my claim that Laito’s scared of himself with these powers. He’s also just really dedicated to his morals, whether they’re falsified morals he created himself in self defense, or ones that go deep to his core (oh shit, another analysis idea???). 
Then… Laito got angry, and attacked Shin in the process (this happens in track 04. Shin steals Yui in track 03). Again, I know I just said he’s pretty dedicated to his morals. But it’s an oddly human thing to do; breaking your morals once in a while to achieve something. We’ve all done it at least once in our lives. Then Laito beats himself up over letting his angry emotions get to him. And we get such a moving scene.
Laito: “Ah…Fuck…! Why…! Why!? Why did I let myself fall for such an easy taunt!? …Bitch-chan? I’m weird, right now, aren’t I? Because of that guy’s powers…Aren’t I going crazy?”
Laito: “…!? I…I’ve been composed this whole time. Yet…Why do you tell me such a thing!? Just as I thought…You also think that I’m becoming weird! If not, you wouldn’t look at me with those eyes!”
Laito: “Don’t touch me…!! If you touch me…You’ll be corrupted as well.”
Laito: “Fufufu…Ahaha…! I’m not corrupted? No, haven’t you experienced it first-hand? That man’s sullied blood and powers are flowing through this body of mine. Even though I don’t need them…! Even though I never wished for them…! Why…!? Why did I have to get these things forced upon me!? Fuck!”
I know that Japanese doesn’t technically have swear words like we do. He says 「くそ」 (“kuso”) which is an interjection that describes something that’s outrageous. Which is why it gets translated into “damn!” “Shit!” “Fuck!” Based on the context and aggressiveness. But, Laito rarely ever says 「くそ」, and he said it a LOT in this CD. And that’s what really caught me off guard. 
So, SO much is said in those quotes I cannot even begin to fathom. So let’s break it down. 
Firstly, as I mentioned, He’s beating himself up (as well as gaslighting himself(?) Is that possible?) over breaking his own morals and not wanting to have these powers in the first place. And he uses Karl as a scapegoat, as he (and the other brothers) have a habit of doing. Also, he refers to his powers as “that guy’s powers.” He hasn’t even accepted that they’re his, and that’s also what’s really sad.
Then the second line. “I’ve been composed this whole time.” Well we, as Laito fans, know that what we usually see Laito is a façade. But this, right now, is raw Laito, baby. He then kinda gets a paranoia of some sort, trying to read your eyes (which is most likely sympathetic, not thinking he’s weird) in order to blame it on someone, or continuing to gaslight himself. And the third line… Wow that hit hard for me in the feels. You know how Laito usually says he wants to corrupt you? Steal your innocence? (Again, projection, from what Cordelia made him feel). This also further supports the notion that Laito doesn’t think that highly of himself (well, people who have some type of superiority complex do. And he definitely does, sometimes on Ayato levels) and also the fact that he still keeps that façade up. Probably to protect these inner feelings. Again, his statement about his composure says as much. 
It’s then implied that Yui tries to comfort him, saying that he’s not corrupted. He continues to not listen to her and kinda say his bottled up feelings. God that last quote, and the way he says it,,,, ugh god it’s so heartbreaking. As we previously knew, he didn’t want these powers at all. He never wanted to be in any part of Karlheinz’s games. He just wanted to live the way he wants to (even if it is,,,, an unhealthy mindset to live in). He says it in such a fearful and tragic way. Again, he’s afraid of himself with these powers. He’s trying to build back up his facade or adjust it in any way that he can to avoid it, but right now, it’s too much for him. 
Laito: “Bitch-chan, you see. As long as she has someone to make her feel good, she will make do with anyone. …Power does not matter. That’s what being a ‘Bitch-chan’ is all about, isn’t it?”
Shin: “Che! You’re just spouting random crap! You won’t deceive me.”
Laito: “Heh…There, there…Don’t glare at me like that..We’ve come all the way up here…It would be foolish to waste our time talking about power dynamics. Let’s enjoy ourselves…I don’t care about complicated stuff. To me, this is everything.”
I actually said something coherent enough in my 2 am notes in response to this to pretty much put it in here verbatim: 
Damn, this boy really just wants to vibe and avoid responsibility (I mean, don’t we all Laito) but he just has to face it. I kinda realize through this drama cd that Laito just… doesn’t wanna face complexity too. He doesn’t, never has. Violence is too complicated, getting involved with Cordelia and Ayato’s relationship by standing up for Ayato as a kid is too complicated, getting on Cordelia’s “good side” (which is uh,,,, awful) is too complicated. 
Putting up that whole perverted façade in order to hide from his own feelings; holy shit idk how I didn’t notice this blatantly before. I didn’t know it would take Shin to make me realize this. Laito never asked for any of this happening to him (none of the boys really did; at least for their pasts). Goddamn, when I try to look at the overly complex stuff, I miss the simple shit so easily. People in real life try to escape like this––using sex and pleasure––just like Laito. 
(Can’t believe I said that at 2 am omg) But, to add onto that, the whole “That’s what being a ‘Bitch-chan’ is all about, isn’t it?” Has SO much meaning to it. First of all, it’s a question. Which raises uncertainty about a subject. This subject is what being a ‘Bitch-chan’ is. It’s phrased in a desperate way that this is Laito’s way to ask you to help. And that’s huge. Also, I think it’s Laito’s way of saying to not judge him right now, and to still accept him for who he is. If he really thought that Yui was that “loose” of a woman with no standards, he wouldn’t have cared to say this, or implied his purpose: which is wanting to make Yui feel good. Which, I think in Laito terms, means “wanting to make Yui happy.” And he wants to continue to be there with her through this double meaning. And wow. That’s,,,,pretty poetic.
Last note; I know that Shin even said or implied (I’m too lazy to go back to the direct quote) that he was like “bruh get over yourself, these are your powers now, get used to it” (which set Laito off I believe). And going in, I didn’t think I’d get much out of this duo in terms of development, but WOW, there’s a chock full of stuff. 
If you’ve made it this far, congrats! Holy crap I think this is longer than the Hilde analysis. 
Thanks for reading as always! -Corn
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jungshookz · 5 years ago
Note
hi cee !! i just thought of how cute coach!jungkook would be where he trains little kids and one day y/n drops off her little brother at practice and sees this cute new coach and is suddenly volunteering to bring snacks for the next game lol
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➺ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader
➺ genre: if it isn’t obvious by now this is 110% fLUFF, y/n is an obnoxious older sister but we love her, banana milk and animal crackers for everyone!!!!
➺ wordcount: 3.5k
➺ note: hi i want coach!jungkook to hurl a soccer ball at me thanks 
(gif isn’t mine!)
                                       ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
“alright, twerp.” you crank the brakes before punching the unlock button on the dashboard “get outta my car.”
you push your sunglasses up to the top of your head before turning to look at lucas in the back seat and raising a brow
why is he not moving
“…mommy always walks me to the field.”
oh dear lord
you have places to be and people to sEE
more specifically you have to pick yoongi up at his apartment because you guys are going to watch that new spiderman movie together and you typically like to get there early so that you have more time to decide what you’re going to do in terms of snacks
“well, mommy didn’t drop you off today. sissy did.”
okay quick note: maybe don’T address yourself as sissy ever again
“-big boys walk themselves to the field.” you point out before glancing over at said field “y’know, lu, the world is a big, scary soccer field that you’re going to have to face alone one day…” you sigh and shake your head playfully as you yank the keys out of the ignition
of course you’re going to walk him to the field
you just like messing with him
“-you might as well get a head start now.” you unbuckle your seatbelt before opening the door
“…maybe next year, when i turn 6.” lucas mutters and kicks his legs against the seat
you can’t help but snort at his comment before shutting the door
your parents insist that lucas was planned but let’s be real
he’s more of a… happy accident!
the boy is sixteen years younger than you
he’s 5!
you’re 21!
a sixteen year age gap is never intentIONAL
nevertheless you still love him more than you love yourself
he’s a sweet boy!!!
he actually never went through the whole terrible twos phase and for that you are grateful because you’re pretty sure 18 year old y/n would’ve willingly flung him out the window in a heartbeat
and you know for a fact that he worships you
well
alright
not reaLLy
but he’s a good little brother and you’re a good older sister and you’re just glad that the two of you get along
you just like acting like he’s a little stiNker all the time because it’s fun seeing him get worked up
>:-)
“by the way, don’t tell mom i didn’t put your car seat in my car.” you help lucas out of the car before reaching in to grab his bag for him
you were going to be a responsible older sibling and put his car seat in for him but there were so many things to click and clack and lock and pop and honEstly you just didn’t have the energy to put it in your car so you just buckled him in and made sure to drive a little less recklessly
also you didn’t see the point in installing it in your car since this is going to be the only time you’re ever going to drop him off at his soccer practice session
your mom usually drops him off because duh
she’s m o m
but she had an emergency meeting at work and your dad is on a business trip for the entire week which means that yoU have to take care of him for the afternoon
which is fine!
except you made plans with yoongi, as mentioned earlier
which means you need to get this show on the road if you’re going to get back on the road to get to the show  
“okay, as long as you don’t tell mom i threw my grapes away.”
“wha- you threw your grapes away?!” you gawk at lucas as you shove your keys into your pocket “are you kidding me? you could’ve given them to me! those grapes were organic, too! they were the goOD juicy grapes!”
lucas smiles sheepishly before shrugging
goD
kids these days
throwing away their damn juicy organic non-gmo grapes
what a waste!
“what time am i supposed to come and pick you up again?”
“6:30” lucas hums in response as he swings his hand with yours
hm
the movie is set to end at 7
…how mad would your mom be with you if you made lucas wait an extra half hour in the dark for you?
u know what
it’s a risk you’re going to have to be willing to take
you are SO brave
not all heroes wear capes
“any preferences for dinner? mom won’t be home til late so it’s just the two of us.” you glance down at him as the two of you approach the field
there are already a bunch of other kids there with their parents
usually the parents just sit on the side and watch
and you would totally stay and watch but like…
spiderman > watching a group of sweaty 5 year olds running around and tripping over themselves
“mcdonalds!” lucas grins excitedly
he likes it when you’re in charge of dinner because it actually means that he’s in charge of dinner and he aLways likes it when he gets to choose what to eat for dinner
one time he asked for spaghetti tacos and you just gave him spaghetti tacos with no complaint
it’s amazing!
you’re a pushover for him and he knoWs it
“alrighty. but i’m getting the apple slices for you instead of the fries because you threw your grapes out.”
lucas immediately deflates
oh
u win some u lose some
“okay, bud. i’ll see you at 7!” you chirp before dropping to your knees to give lucas a goodbye hug  
“6:30” lucas corrects you smartly and you resist the urge to roll your eyes
uRgh
you don’t want to miss the ending of spiderman!!!!!!! what if you miss something mAjor that links to the next spiderman movie?!
whaTEver you’ll just watch it again when it eventually gets on netflix
anyways
back to business
one huGE perk of being an older sibling is the fact that you get to embarrass your younger siblings any time and anywhere
it’s your given right!
you’ve earned it
…and this is one of those times
“oH i’m going to miss my lulu so much-“ you’re practically suffocating lucas considering how tightly you’re squeezing him and you can’t help but giggle as you squish sloppy kisses to his chubby cheek
you don’t want him to ever grow up because you lovE kissing his cheeks
they were exTra chubby when he was younger
he’s starting to lose some baby fat :’(
lucas whines and starts to shove at your chest “stop it, my friends are watching!!!”
“well they’re just jealous because they don’t have an older sister as cool as-“ you immediately cut yourself off because-
holy SHIT
who the friG is thAT
it’s almost as if time itself slows down when you’re suddenly made aware of this very beautiful human being
warm brown eyes that you can already envision yourself drowning in
a bright bunny smile tugging at the corners of his mouth
honey caramel brown hair peeking out from underneath a plain black cap
two small, silver hoops hanging from his ears
he’s wearing a plain black hoodie paired with a pair of plain black shorts but somehow he’s making it look like he just walked straIght off a paris fashion week runway  
he has that boyish quality about him that’s making you weak in your knees
and to top it all off
he’s great with kids
your ovaries are quaking
he laughs and throws his head back before giving one of the boys a fist bump and getting back up on his knees
is it weird that you think his thighs are hot?
…yeah that’s a little weird
get it together
you pull away from lucas before resting back on your heels
you reach out to grasp onto his shoulders to make it seem like you’re having a serious conversation with him because let’s face it this is a very serious conversation
“lu. i’m going to ask you a question, and i want you to answer me honestly.” you look him dead in the eye
“…wha-“
“don’t make it obvious, but… is that your coach?” your eyes flicker over his shoulder and lucas whIPS around to look at where you’re looking
okay
way to make it nOt obvious
“mhm! that’s coach jungkook.”
huh
coach jungkook
that has a nice ring to it
he looks to be around your age which is vEry appealing
working man with a stable job
…you’re into it
lucas is obviously blissfully unaware of the way you’re practically drooling over his coach because the next thing you know- “hi coach!!!!!!” lucas waves wildly and starts bouncing up and down excitedly when coach jungkook glances towards your guys’ general direction
you immediately get up off the ground and reach down to dust your knees off
you should’ve worn something cuter had you known lucas’ coach was going to look like that
“hey, buddy!” jungkook leans down to ruffle lucas’ hair when he rushes over to hug his knees “you ready for a fun session?”
you feel your heart skip a beat when he looks up at you and offers you a friendly smile
o god
“hi! i’m jungkook.” he sticks his hand out for you to shake and oH sweet lord even his hands are pretty
“hi…!” you clear your throat and shake his hand briefly “i’m y/n, i’m… uh, i’m lucas’ sister. older sister.”
okay
you’re not sure why you had to throw in that last detail
you’re obviously his older sister you waLNUT
“ah, that makes sense. usually lucas comes with your guys’ mom, so i was just curious… are you going to stay and watch? there’s plenty of space to sit…” he gestures over to where the parents are and you’re about this close to texting yoongi and cancelling your guys’ plans together
spiderman
“she can’t!” lucas blurts out “-she’s watching spiderman with yoongi!”
uh oh
lucas is blowing your chances with coach jungkook right in front of ur eyES
“yoongi- riGht, yeah, i’m watching spiderman with- lu, why don’t you go and warm up with your friends, hm?” you nudge him a little and he nods before ziPPing right off to join his pals
a beat of silence goes by
“yoongi’s my friend. just my friend.” you clear your throat again before glancing at your watch
“good to know…!” jungkook trails off and purses his lips slightly
okay
this interaction is going downhill vEry fast
“i… should probably go if i’m going to get to the movies on time but thank you for the invitation to stay!” you chuckle lightly and jungkook nods in acknowledgement “i’ll see you later? when i come to pick lucas up? it was nice meeting you…?”
you are a hoT mess
you’re all over the place
why are you phrasing everything as a question?
what’s wrong with you?
you complete moron?  
jungkook can’t help but watch as you jog back to your car
hm
lucas never mentioned an older sister
a very pretty older sister, as a matter of fact
of course, lucas doesn’t really mention anything besides a) soccer, b) snacks, and c) power rangers
interesting
very interesting
“how come you’re driving me to practice again?” lucas’ brows knit together in confusion as he looks at you through the front mirror
needless to say he was very much confused when you came to pick him up from school… again
the act of you picking him up from school isn’t weird but usually you only pick him up maybe once every two months
but this is your sixth time picking him up this month
so yeah
it’s a liiiiiittle weird
“because i wanted to give mom… another day off!” you smile brightly and turn on your signal before smoothly swerving to the right and heading down the familiar path to the field
“oh.” lucas nods and slumps back down in his car seat
about five seconds go by before he speaks up again
“how come you have so many drinks and crackers back here?”
your eyes flicker up to the front mirror again and you see him leaning over to look into the huge tote bag sitting next to him
“you know, lu…” you sigh and shake your head “-as your generous, thoughtful, veRy caring older sister, i just want to make sure you have enough energy for practice which is why i took it upon myself to provide nourishment for you and your little friends!”
“…what’s a noorushmint-”
“-just out of curiosity-“ you veer right into your usual parking spot before cranking the brakes
you turn to look at lucas over your shoulder “has coach jungkook… said anything about me?”
“i- oOH banana milk!!!!!!” lucas grins excitedly and pulls one carton out of your bag
here’s the thing
as mentioned earlier this is your sixth time picking lucas up from school and driving him to practice
that means that this is your sixth time seeing jungkook
and each time, he somehow becomes more and more attractive which mEans that you progressively get more and more nervous and awkward-flirty with him each time you see him
every time he looks at you you get all weak in the knees and your palms get sweaty and you end up regurgitating some lame joke about soccer
every time he laughs at your lame jokes about soccer you feel your heart skip a beAt
and you’re obsessed with how attractive he looks when he’s focused on something
he does this thing where he pokes his tongue into his cheek and it just-
oOh it just gets to you
“hey, twerp-“ lucas glances back at you as the two of you start trekking down the grassy hill to get to the field “don’t tell your friends that you already drank a banana milk in the car otherwise they’re going think that i’m playing favourites which i guess i kinda am buT-“
“y/n!” you immediately freeze when you hear jungkook call your name and you neaRly trip over your feet in surprise “-let me help you with that!”
you swallow thickly before offering jungkook a bright smile “hey! oh, that’s so nice of you…” he takes the two tote bags from you eaSily
what the heck
you were out of breath just picking them up and he’s acting as if they’re as light as feathers
you feel your mouth go dry when you catch a glimpse of his biceps flexing
the lord is testing you toDay
“hi coach!” lucas greets enthusiastically
jungkook grins down at lucas before wiggling his brows “someone’s certainly very energetic today-“
“y/n gave me an extra banana milk and i drank it all in thirty seconds!!!!!”
well
he totally just blew your cover
“you said you wouldn’t tell!” you scold playfully and lucas giggles before dropping his bag to the floor and spRinting over to his friends
“banana milk, huh?” jungkook peeks into one of them before looking over at you
he loves banana milk!!!!!!!!
“banana milk and animal crackers.” you correct and jungkook raises a hand in defence
oh fRick
he loves animal crackers too!!!!!!
you are the girl of his dreams!!!!!!
,.,.,.but like.,,., in a super casual way
because he hasn’t known you for very long
but it’s safe to say that he’s already become veRy fond of you and your company
you’re super friendly
and you’re super funny
and you’re super pretty
it’s also super cute when you’re cheering on for lucas on the sidelines
whenever he scores a goal you jump up and down on your feet and clap suPer excitedly and basically scREAM for him
jungkook loves how supportive you are even though this is a kiddie soccer game and the stakes are so unbelievably low
and his heart melted into a warm puddle that time lucas tripped and scraped his knee and you imMEdiately rushed to his aid
you patched him up and even kissed his boo-boo!!!!!! (lucas was a little embarrassed by that) ((he wouldn’t have minded if u did that at home but u did it in front of all of his bROS and he’s like the resident Cool Guy))
it doesn’t get any cuTEr than that!!!!!!
and jungkook knows that he’s here to coach but he’s finding it vEry hard to do his job whenever you’re around
because you smell like warm vanilla and your laugh is contagious and your smile makes his stomach do flip-flops
and the fact that you brought snacks and drinks for the kids is honestly just the icing on the cakE
“wanna split a banana milk?” jungkook jumps in surprise when he feels a gentle tap on his shoulder
“wh- sorry, what was that? i was, uh, thinking about… stuff.” he clears his throat
wow
talk about s m o o t h
“i put the bag down for five seconds and the kids went wild but i managed to snag one carton without losing an arm.” you snort and poke the straw through the top “you wanna split one with me?”
he knows you’re not a mindreader but it’s taking every single one of his brain cells to try to noT think about how kissable your lips look right now
you turn slightly before holding the carton up for him to take a sip and you just have the cutest smile on your face right now and before he knows it he-
“do you wanna grab dinner sometime?” jungkook blurts out and his eyes widen in surprise when he realises that he just asked you out on a date
cuRse him and his complete lack of fiLTER
your own eyes widen in surprise and you blink owlishly
where did thAt come from
you’re not complaining or anything because yes of couRse you want to go out on a date with jungkook but heLLo where did that come from!!!!!!
“um, i-“
“oh, god. sorry! i’m sorry, that was totally- ah, jeez-“ jungkook groans quietly and reaches up to adjust his hat
“-jungkook-“
“-i’m sorry, you’re just really nice and pretty so i thought-“ he can feel his face burning hotter than the damn sun “-i just feeL like we get along really well even though we don’t really know each other buT we can always get to know each other on a date-“
“-yeah, you’re right about that-“
“-i don’t know what i’m thinking!!! i haven’t gone out on a date in a long time so maybe it’s not a-“
“-jungkook!” you slap a hand over his mouth and he stumbles backwards a little from the impact
“…myeah?” his voice is muffled and you give him a warning look so he shuts up quickly
you pull your hand away before adjusting your cardigan a little “i would… i would love to grab dinner with you sometime.”
“oh!” jungkook’s voice is slightly pitchy and he clears his throat quickly “cool. sick.” he says with a lower voice before sniffing and looking back over at the boys
it’s totally whatever
he’s cool
it’s casual
dinner is casual
he’s like… suuuuper chill about it, bro
“mm. sick, indeed.” you tease lightly before nudging his side “…you still wanna split the banana milk with me or not? because i’m going to inhale this entire thing if you don’t want any.”
(the entire time you and jungkook are taking turns taking sips of the banana milk he can’t help but feel like he’s indirectly kissing u)
((but whatever))
(((he’s like…. suuuuuuper chill about it, brO)))
help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)
drabble masterlist // main masterlist
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thatgamefromthatad · 4 years ago
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Mobile Game Review - Emperor of Mahjong (Suggested by @spaceswordblaster)
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Note: This game used to be called Jewels of Mahjong.
I was originally going to do this as an “ads vs. gameplay” type review but I ran into something weird which is my fault for not doing any further research until I was just about to write my review.
@spaceswordblaster (thank you for the suggestions by the way!) said they saw an ad for this game that made it seem like a matching game with a cowgirl as the main protagonist. This game is not like that at all, but when I went to look for the ads for Emperor of Mahjong (which like I said I only did after I had played the game itself for the while and needed them for my review) I realized it doesn’t really have any actively running ads that I could find; for some reason Facebook keeps taking down its ads for being about social or political issues (but I was still able to view the ads and they didn’t seem to be about that at all but I’ve found Facebook tends to do that randomly sometimes lol). The ads I was able to see were basically exactly what the game is like: very straightforward and honest ads.
However, G5 Games, which is the company that made this game, also has a game called Jewels of the Wild West, which sounds exactly like what spaceswordblaster was talking about (as well as a game called Sheriff of Mahjong, which is also cowgirl-themed). So it sounds like G5 got its wires crossed at some point and put the wrong game logo in the Wild West/Sheriff ad or had the ad link back to the wrong game listing. I say this is my fault because if I had researched the ad first thing, I would have realized this and probably played Jewels of the Wild West first, or both games instead of just one. It’s worth mentioning that some of G5 Games’ ads are the fake-seeming “pull the pin” or “my husband is cheating on me” type, just not for this particular game that I actually played lol.
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Since I did play this game for a considerable amount of time, I’ll still review it! And I’ll take it as a lesson learned to watch the ads first if I haven’t seen them already.
Read my full review below!
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🏛 What is this app? Emperor of Mahjong is a free mahjong game that is set in ancient Rome. The game follows a storyline and involves quests that require you to find certain items by completing mahjong levels - there are different buildings where you can play mahjong levels and each building has different possible items you can receive as rewards for completing the level. Sometimes you need to craft items together to get the item to complete the quest, and you can also find and craft together map pieces to unlock new buildings. Additionally, there are monsters you can “battle” by playing a specific type of mahjong level where the goal is to remove tiles specifically next to a certain object to “attack” the monster.
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👍 What’s good about this app? This is honestly a great mahjong app, although to be fair I’ve never actually played a mahjong mobile game before, only mahjong computer games a while back. But everything is really top-notch here from the art, to the mechanics, to the quests, which create a really appealing structure around the mahjong levels as opposed to just having something that’s level after level with no other real goal.
While playing the main mahjong levels in this game is pretty straightforward - you just tap the two matching tiles you want to remove, plus there are some boosters/hints you can use like reshuffling the tiles or highlighting matching tiles if you can’t find any - one of the really appealing features is the auto zoom, which, as the name suggests, automatically zooms into the area where there are still tiles as you gradually remove tiles, so you don’t have to manually zoom or pan around when you start creating more empty space on the board (although you can if you want to). The mechanic is very smooth so you almost don’t notice it’s happening and it just helps you stay focused on making matches, which is useful because you get bonuses for completing consecutive matches within a certain amount of time. I also like the sound effects when you match tiles, it just makes the overall gameplay really satisfying.
(Gif below sped up to demonstrate the otherwise subtle adjustments of the auto zoom feature - also poor quality because idk how to make better gifs from videos lol)
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The game also has enough variety and is challenging enough to keep me interested - some levels will be more difficult than others to successfully complete (you lose the level if you run out of matchable tiles) and there are also challenges like going around collecting the right items to complete a quest or to be able to battle a monster (since you need to have certain items to initiate a battle). And the idea of having battle stages on its own is really unique (at least as far as I know, since I haven’t played a lot of mahjong games), I never thought of mahjong being played like that and I’m always interested when games take a well-known puzzle and create a new way to play it.
The other thing I like about this game is that it seems you can really play endlessly for free - you do need to spend energy to play mahjong levels but I never ran out of energy since you have a decent amount to start out with, your energy refills every time you level up and your max energy also goes up each time you level up. The only pop up ads I’ve seen so far are ads for other G5 games, and occasional popups for microtransactions (like if you try to craft something and don’t have all the items you need it will ask you if you want to buy the missing items for real money, typical stuff like that). As far as free puzzle games go this one is really impressive and I’d definitely continue playing after this review!
👎 What’s wrong with this app? Honestly, I don’t really have much to criticize about this app. I guess one thing I would say is that first starting out it did seem a little overly complicated until I played longer and got a better grasp of the quest system and how to get items etc. They probably could have explained all of that better in the tutorial or eased you into it more, because if you’re going into it expecting or wanting just a mahjong game you’re going to feel confused and overwhelmed when it’s telling you need to collect this and build that and combine these items etc. If you want something more straightforward and linear where you can just play mahjong levels continuously then this might not be the game for you.
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🍇 Full list of features (there may be more unlocked as you go along so this list may not be complete but here’s everything I’ve seen so far):
Regular mahjong levels, with boosters (the symbols on the tiles differ slightly between the different buildings you can play mahjong in, and you can also get different rewards for playing mahjong in different buildings)
Storyline (the story is set in ancient Rome and the main antagonist is Cassius. I’m not that familiar with Roman history or anything and I wasn’t always 100% sure what was going on but there was definitely an overarching plot being conveyed through dialog from the characters and short narrative chapters. Each quest path is also its own mini side story and I found that easier to follow, and liked having a story behind each item I was asked to retrieve. Some of the quests are what I would consider “main quests” that tie more into the overarching story.)
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[Image Description: A quest from the character Felix titled “Fifty Shades.” The quest dialog reads, “That’s a marker for fifty, as you know. We could probably utilize it as a stamp of sorts, perhaps even slather it with paint, and mark the bags of produce as measurement of quantity” and is cut off after the start of the next sentence that starts with the word, “The.” The quest task reads, “Locate the L” and an image of stone letter L is shown. Experience and coin rewards are shown above a green button that reads, “Accept.”]
Quests (the main way of progressing through the games, you complete quests by finishing mahjong levels to retrieve the needed items)
Collections/crafting (for some quests you’ll need to combine a set of items and resources to get the final item to complete the quest)
Construction (as you progress there will be points where you are tasked with collecting map pieces, and when you collect the complete set you can construct a new building with new mahjong levels, new possible rewards and a new set of quests. I believe you can also upgrade buildings as you go along to improve their rewards)
Monsters/battles (there are monsters throughout the map that you can “battle” in a mini mahjong game by matching tiles next to the weapon you need to “attack” the monster. You need to collect these weapons from other mahjong levels first before you can enter a battle, and defeating the monsters yields unique items you need for some quests)
Award statues (when you reach certain achievements there are statues that appear throughout the map of different Roman gods that can be tapped occasionally to receive a reward such as energy or a resource needed for crafting. These statues upgrade as you complete more achievements which I assume either gives you better rewards or makes them refresh more often)
Random treasure (sometimes there will be random treasure on the map that you can tap to get free rewards/resources)
Events (there are sometimes limited time events with their own storylines, associated quests and mahjong levels/buildings)
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[Image Description: A screenshot of the storyline of the “Backstage Passions” event in Emperor of Mahjong, which is shown as an open book with an image and progress bar on one page and an image and text on the other. The first page shows a color image of the character Argus arm in arm with a woman as the character Vita watches on from beside a pillar in the background with a concerned or upset expression on her face. Underneath is a gold progress bar showing the event is about 75% complete with an ornate golden prize box at the end of the progress bar.
The second page shows a black and white image of Vita speaking to three other women with text underneath reading, “It turns out that Argus managed to have an affair with three difference women: a wealthy widow, a nobleman’s only heiress, and a famous merchant’s daughter! Vita is sure that Argus is going to deceive the poor ladies and run off with their money. A true organizer of-“ The last line of text is partly faded at the bottom and the rest is cut off. A green button under the text reads, “Play.”]
⭐️ Overall Rating: 5/5 (This is a really well-made and satisfying free puzzle game and definitely made me interested in checking out G5’s other games as well! But like I said it’s a little more involved and complicated than a general mahjong game so if you prefer something with straightforward linear levels you might want to try something else.)
Thank you @spaceswordblaster for bringing up this game to me, I really enjoyed it and it helped me kill a lot of downtime while I was on vacation! Sorry I didn’t look more into the cowgirl thing but maybe I will play some of those other games in the future :)
Thanks for reading! 🥳
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britesparc · 4 years ago
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Weekend Top Ten #482
Top Ten Sega Games
So I read somewhere on the internet that in June it’s the thirtieth birthday of Sonic the Hedgehog (making him only a couple of months younger than my brother, which is weird). This is due to his debut game, the appropriately-titled Sonic the Hedgehog, being first released on June 23rd. As such – and because I do love a good Tenuous Link – I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s list to Sega (also there was that Sonic livestream and announcement of new games, so I remain shockingly relevant).
I’ve got a funny relationship with Sega, largely because I’ve got a funny relationship with last century’s consoles in general. As I’ve said before, I never had a console growing up, and never really felt the need for one; I came from a computing background, playing on other people’s Spectrums and Commodores before getting my own Amiga and, later, a PC. And I stuck with it, and that was fine. But it does mean that, generally speaking, I have next to zero nostalgia for any game that came out on a Nintendo or Sega console (or Sony, for that matter). I could chew your ear off about Dizzy, or point-and-click adventure games, or Team 17, or Sensible Software, or RTS games, or FPS games, or whatever; but all these weird-looking Japanese platform games, or strange, unfamiliar RPGs? No idea. In fact, I remember learning what “Metroidvania” meant about five years ago, and literally saying out loud, “oh, so it’s like Flashback, then,” because I’d never played a (2D) Metroid or Castlevania game. Turns out they meant games that were, using the old Amiga Action terminology, “Arcade Adventures”. Now it makes sense.
Despite all this, I did actually play a fair few Sega games, as my cousins had a Mega Drive. So I’d get to have a bash at a fair few of them after school or whatever. This meant that, for a while, I was actually more of a Sega fan than a Nintendo one, a situation that’s broadly flipped since Sega stopped making hardware and Nintendo continued its gaming dominance. What all of this means, when strung together, is that I have a good deal of affection for some of the classics of Sega’s 16-bit heyday, but I don’t have the breadth or depth of knowledge you’d see from someone who, well, actually owned a console before the original Xbox. Yeah, sure, there are lots of games I liked back then; and probably quite a few that I still have warm nostalgic feelings for, even if they’re maybe not actually very good (Altered Beast, for instance, which I’m reliably informed was – to coin a very early-nineties phrase – “pants”, despite my being fond of it at the time). Therefore this list is probably going to be quite eccentric when compared to other “Best of Sega” lists. Especially because in the last couple of decades Sega has become a publisher for a number of development studios all around the world, giving support and distribution to the makers of diverse (and historically non-console) franchises as Total War and Football Manager. These might not be the fast-moving blue sky games one associates with Sega, but as far as I’m concerned they’re a vital part of the company’s history as it moved away from its hardware failures (and the increasingly lacklustre Sonic franchise) and into new waters. And just as important, of course, are their arcade releases, back in the days when people actually went to arcades (you know, I have multi-format games magazines at my parents’ house that are so old they actually review arcade games. Yes, I know!).
So, happy birthday, Sonic, you big blue bugger, you. Sorry your company pooed itself on the home console front. Sorry a lot of your games over the past twenty years have been a bit disappointing. But in a funny way you helped define the nineties, something that I personally don’t feel Mario quite did. And your film is better than his, too.
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Crazy Taxi (Arcade, 1999): a simple concept – drive customers to their destination in the time limit – combined with a beautiful, sunny, blue skied rendition of San Francisco, giving you a gorgeous cityscape (back when driving round an open city was a new thrill), filled with hills to bounce over and traffic to dodge. A real looker twenty years ago, but its stylised, simple graphics haven’t really dated, feeling fittingly retro rather than old-fashioned or clunky. One of those games that’s fiendishly difficult to master, but its central hook is so compelling you keep coming back for more.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Mega Drive, 1992): games have rarely felt faster, and even if the original Sonic’s opening stages are more iconic, overall I prefer the sequel. Sonic himself was one of those very-nineties characters who focused on a gentle, child-friendly form of “attitude”, and it bursts off the screen, his frown and impatient foot-tapping really selling it. the gameplay is sublime, the graphics still really pop, and the more complex stages contrast nicely with the pastoral opening. Plus it gave us Tails, the game industry’s own Jar Jar Binks, who I’ll always love because my cousin made me play as him all the time.
Medieval II: Total War (PC, 2006): I’ll be honest with you, this game is really the number one, I just feel weird listing “Best Sega Games” and then putting a fifteen-year-old PC strategy game at the top of the pile. But what can I say? I like turn-based PC strategy games, especially ones that let you go deep on genealogy and inter-familial relationships in medieval Europe. everyone knows the real-time 3D battles are cool – they made a whole TV show about them – but for me it’s the slow conquering of Europe that’s the highlight. Marrying off princesses, assassinating rivals, even going on ethically-dubious religious crusades… I just love it. I’ve not played many of the subsequent games in the franchise, but to be honest I like this setting so much I really just want them to make a third Medieval game.
Sega Rally Championship (Arcade, 1994): what, four games in and we’re back to racing? Well, Sega make good racing games I guess. And Sega Rally is just a really good racing game. Another one of those that was a graphical marvel on its release, it has a loose and freewheeling sense of fun and accessibility. Plus it was one of those games that revelled in its open blue skies, from an era when racing games in the arcades loved to dazzle you with spectacle – like when a helicopter swoops low over the tracks. I had a demo of this on PC, too, and I used to race that one course over and over again.
After Burner (Arcade, 1987): there are a lot of arcade games in this list, but when they’re as cool as After Burner, what can you do? This was a technological masterpiece back in the day: a huge cockpit that enveloped you as you sat in the pilot’s seat, joystick in hand. The whole rig moved as you flew the plane, and the graphics (gorgeous for their time) wowed you with their speed and the way the horizon shifted. I was, of course, utterly crap at it, and I seem to remember it was more expensive than most games, so my dad hated me going on it. But it was the kind of thrilling experience that seems harder to replicate nowadays.
Virtua Cop (Arcade, 1994): I used to love lightgun games in the nineties. This despite being utterly, ridiculously crap at them. I can’t aim; ask anyone. But they felt really cool and futuristic, and also you could wave a big gun around like you were RoboCop or something. Virtua Cop added to the fun with its cool 3D graphics. Whilst I’d argue Time Crisis was better, with a little paddle that let you take cover, Cop again leveraged those bright Sega colours to give us a beautiful primary-coloured depiction of excessive ultra-violence and mass death.
Two Point Hospital (PC, 2018): back once again to the point-and-clickers, with another PC game only nominally Sega. But I can’t ignore it. Taking what was best about Theme Hospital and updating it for the 21st Century, TPH is a darkly funny but enjoyably deep management sim, with cute chunky graphics and an easy-to-use interface (Daughter #1 is very fond of it). The console adaptations are good, too. I’d love to see where Two Point go next. Maybe to a theme park…?
Jet Set Radio Future (Xbox, 2002): I never had a Dreamcast. But I remember seeing the original Jet Set Radio – maybe on TV, maybe running on a demo pod in Toys ‘R’ Us or something – and being blown away. It was the first time I’d ever seen cel shading, and it was a revelation; just a beautiful technique that I didn’t think was possible, that made the game look like a living cartoon. Finally being able to play the sequel on my new Xbox was terrific, because the gameplay was excellent too: a fast-paced game of chaining together jumps and glides, in a city that was popping with colour and bursting with energy. Felt like playing a game made entirely of Skittles and Red Bull.
The Typing of the Dead (PC, 2000): The House of the Dead games were descendants of Virtua Cop’s lightgun blasting, but with zombies. Yeah, cool; I liked playing them at the arcades down at Teesside Park, in the Hollywood Bowl or the Showcase cinema. But playing this PC adaptation of the quirky typing-based spin-off was something else. A game where you defeat zombies by correctly typing “cow” or “bottle” or whatever as quickly as possible? A game that was simultaneously an educational typing instructor and also a zombie murder simulator? The fact that the characters are wearing Ghostbusters-style backpacks made of Dreamcast consoles and keyboards is just a seriously crazy detail, and the way the typing was integrated into the gameplay – harder enemies had longer words, for instance – was very well done. A bonkers mini-masterpiece.
Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 (Switch, 2019): the very fact that erstwhile cultural enemies Mario and Sonic would ever share a game at all is the stuff of addled mid-nineties fever dreams; like Downey’s Tony Stark sharing the screen with Bale’s Batman (or Affleck’s Batman, who the hell cares at this point). The main thing is, it’s still crazy to think about it, even if it’s just entirely ordinary for my kids, sitting their unaware of the Great Console Wars of the 1990s. Anyway, divorced of all that pan-universal gladhanding, the games are good fun, adapting the various Olympic sports with charm, making them easy-to-understand party games, often with motion control for the benefit of the youngs and the olds. I don’t remember playing earlier games extensively, but the soft-RPG trappings of the latest iteration are enjoyable, especially the retro-themed events and graphics. Earns a spot in my Top Ten for its historic nature, but it’s also thoroughly enjoyable in its own right.
Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if all those crazy internet rumours were actually true, and Microsoft did announce it was buying Sega this E3? This really would feel like a very timely and in some ways prescient list.
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riaflicke · 4 years ago
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The saying went something like, monsters are created not born. And that was exactly how Ria Flicke felt about the demon - or demons, plural, depending on the day - inside of her. It wasn’t always dark, but it was fed enough that it grew and grew until she didn’t know what it felt like to not have the darkness inside of her.
Some of the creation was self-inflicted. It wasn’t like she knew how to walk away from a bad situation or how to let the light win out, no, she let the darkness win and that was her own fault. Over the past few months of alone time and wrestling with questions and curiosities, she managed to figure out how and where the darkness was cultivated, fed and nurtured by the people that were meant to protect her.
AUGUST 17th, 2010, FAIRFIELD, CONNECTICUT (14 years old)
Move in day for Faircrest Preparatory School. Day one of one million of learning to be a spy. Mariana thought that it would be a good idea for Leon to drive Ria to move in. After all, he worked at Faircrest, and she thought it’d be good for the younger Flicke to finally get to know her father. 
Needless to say, it did not get off to a good start. Ria knew two things: her mother was cryptic about her father and the only way to get adults to pay attention to her was to be annoying. And she had lots of questions for Leon which meant she would be extra annoying. 
“Don’t put your feet up there,” Leon turned over to his daughter, who had perched her feet on the all white car dash. “You’re going to get it dirty.” “What?” Ria didn’t dignify him with even a glance, she instead focused on picking a scab on her calf. “Maria-” “Ria.” “Maria,” Leon huffed, “Take your feet off the dash or we’re not leaving this driveway… What did you do to yourself anyway?” “Fell off my bike.” “Don’t you know how to ride a bike?” Picking at the scab until she got it to bleed again (because it definitely made her dad cringe), “Yes. I let go.” “Why?” “It made mom freak out.” She finally moved her feet from the dash, pleased with the furrowed brow her father now had. “And why in the world would you want to do that?” Leon asked in a deadpan tone, clearly frustrated with his daughter’s antics. “It proved mom cares. Somewhere. She got worried.”
The frustration on Leon’s face morphed into one of pride, but in the blink of an eye it was back to neutral. “You’re already thinking like a spy. What has your mother taught you so far?” “Nothing, I’ve known for all of like, three months.” “Alright. Well, we have about six hours ahead of us-” “Joy.” “Don’t interrupt me, Maria. I can’t have my daughter not knowing anything about spyhood. You’re already starting Faircrest at a disadvantage.”
That spoke to the competitive side of Ria and all, but she thought that this ride would be a way to get to know the man she’d wondered about for years. “You’re going to spend six hours talking to me about spy stuff and not like… anything about me?” “I didn’t say that. Anyways, I’ll see you all year on campus, we have plenty of time to get to know each other.” “Ooookay. Weird, but, fine, talk to me about your spy life or whatever…” Her voice trailed off into silence.
Leon glanced over at her, “What were you about to say?” Chewing on her bottom lip, Ria was silent for a little longer before speaking up. “I wanted to ask you a question.” “Fine, ask it then.” “Do you love me?” The words sounded sharp to hide the fear inside. “I don’t know.” Sitting up straighter, the blonde’s face dropped, “How do you not know? I’m your daughter.” “We just met.” “So?” “So,  I need time to decide.” “Do you think you ever will?” “We’ll see.” And he wouldn’t. ‘I love you’ were three words he’d never say. “Fine… Tell me about this spy shit.” “Language.”
JUNE 8th, 2010, FAIRFIELD, CONNECTICUT (17 years old) Whether she wanted to listen to her father or not (spoiler: she didn’t!), Ria wanted to be top of her class. Success was something she could control. Success gave her purpose. Success made it all worth it. So as much as she hated Leon Calder with everything in her being, she kept note of all of his rules and the subsequent tests and trials in a tiny leather bound notebook. It was a pale pink, embossed with “Maria” on the cover - which she had since scratched up with pens and keys until it only read Ria.
With graduation on the corner - and a four year break from spyhood (her parents hated that one) on the horizon - she flicked through the pages, a walk down a very bumpy memory lane.
Rule 1: Control the conversation What’s it mean: - Have conviction in what you say - Stand by your words, even if they’re questionable - Don’t get stuck in webs of lies - Take pride in attention - good or bad - throws people off their game when you embrace an insult
Rule 2: Head not heart What’s it mean: - Don’t lead with emotions ever - Look at things logically bc that’s trustworthy, emotions are fickle - Tears are weakness - avoid at all costs!!!
8/30/10 - first week @ faircrest, dad got me a xanax prescription. told me it’s better to feel nothing than something. haven’t tried it yet 2/1/12 - (middle of soph. year.) - i think i’m addicted  4/29/14 - i’m graduating in 2 months. Idk how to feel bc i don’t think i’ve felt anything in four years. 8/2/14 - i don’t trust my own head
Rule 3: Don’t have a blindspot What’s it mean: - Falling in love means youre caught up in another person - Getting caught up in another person is a weak point - A lover will betray you or will be used against you - Lust =/= love, lust is ok.
11/1/13 - i don’t think ive cared about a single person ive slept with. like at all.
Rule 4: Know what you’re walking into What’s it mean: - Awareness is key - Evaluate every situation in full - ALWAYS keep your guard up or you’ll get backstabbed
12/21/10 - was @ home for christmas, dad snuck up behind me and threw a knife. i ducked in time. said i need to get better at awareness. Wtf.
After twenty or so blank pages, one page of the notebook had a few words written on it in all capitals. They were written more cleanly than the notes and scribbles of yesteryear, clearly written by an older Ria with stronger penmanship.
I THINK IM A MONSTER.
SEPTEMBER THROUGH NOVEMBER, 2020, ROSEVILLE, VA (24 years old)
The fires the year prior had been the first time that Ria remembered crying in over ten years. Something cracked inside of her as the buildings and all she’d used to ground herself started to fall and crackle apart. It was what pushed her to look inside of her. To know why she held so tightly onto the lessons and learnings from two people that couldn’t care less about her. It was what sent her to therapy. 
There were no diagnoses to be found, apart from a self-inflicted dependence on unhealthy relationships and her vices. She lacked the remorse and violence to be a psychopath, and she didn’t have the swings of anger that hallmarked aggression disorders. What was there instead was a shell, a guard that presented itself as sociopathy - but she knew what she was doing, she had remorse, that was where the questions began. How could you display every trait in the book but be ‘normal’ inside? 
The revelation of Blackthorne as a school for assassins had opened up even more of a can of worms, but she ignored it until the start of her third year, as she continued to try and understand what was going on inside of her head. Leon had gone to Blackthorne, yet the alumni didn’t seem to recognize his name. Something was up.
With the help of one of her Faircrest friends, Tobi, she was able to find more on her father. More on his employment records and his history. He’d begun going by his middle name after graduating Blackthorne, Leon Calder instead of Malcolm Calder. Hardly a criminal offense. He had a cross listing with the MI5 (expected, she knew her parents met in London) and a private agency ‘Atkinson Associates’. Further digging revealed it as a hitman agency, one that her father was still actively employed with. 
Once she had that, and access to the files of the company, she went to dig on her own - not wanting to pull anyone else deeper into the mess. The employee roster and files were what she really wanted. Clicking on her father’s, she read through the notes, feeling a gross pit building in her stomach as she learned more. Kill count: 117. Use for: High profile, quickturn jobs. Works both individually and with partners.
Noting that the word partners was linked, Ria clicked on it, skimming quickly over unknown names until she settled on the name of a former partner. One she knew too well. Mariana Alice Flicke.
“No…. no no no…” But she couldn’t stop, she had to know more about her mother. Kill count: 2. Use for: Track erasure and evidence destruction. 
She didn’t know if it made her feel better or worse that her mother was typically non-violent… Even if she condoned the violence. Blue eyes kept scanning the profile of her mom. Employment Terminated: September 30, 1995 Reason: Pregnancy.
“No wonder he hates me so fucking much.” She took Mariana out of the field, she took his partner away… But that wasn’t her fault! Hovering over the word pregnancy, Ria’s brow furrowed. Another link. There was no reason that needed to be linked. Everyone knew how pregnancy worked!
After a long stare off with the link, she finally clicked on it. The curiosity eating away at her. It pulled up what looked like an incomplete profile, one with nothing but the key statistics. And she didn’t even need to read them, they were ones she knew by heart. Name: Maria Grace Flicke Date of Birth: June 6, 1996 Start Date: To Be Determined.
She wanted to stop scrolling, but her hand kept moving, the answers were finally there. Whether she liked them or not. 
Current Status: 
Atkinson Associates Case study 001.:  Nature versus Nurture
- Developing the mindset of an assassin from day one - Utilizing upbringing to control later characteristics, thought processes, and disposition
None of her mania was an accident. It was all part of a bigger plan that she never wanted to be a part of. Each demon was planted inside of her by the people that were supposed to love her most.
And the only way she could deal with this was to let out an ear-piercing wail.
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void-knights · 4 years ago
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Victory!
Square Filled: Face Riding
Pairing:  Lady Loki / Sigyn,
Rating:   Mature
Word Count:  1646
Tags: NSFW, 18+,  Married Couple, Genderfluid Loki, Shapeshifter Loki, Smut, face riding, Face Sitting, Hair Pulling, Magic and Sex, Logyn
Summary: A frustrated Sigyn + A Horny Loki = smut.
Written for: @lokibingo​
AO3 Link
Under the cut due to mature  themes.
Was it impolite to excuse herself from a rather dull meeting that could all be summed up in paper documents and signed off on all because she saw her wife, Sigyn wearing a scowl and her armour from a window.
Probably.
But who would blame the princess of Asgard or call her out on it? Nobody would dare, though they might in private. It didn’t matter. Sigyn in armour and scowling meant one thing, the victorious goddess had lost and that meant Sigyn was frustrated.
Sigyn worked best when frustrated and needing to prove herself, she was always left so keen and eager to prove herself of anything that may earn her back a small victory. Loki was gone before the dullard of a merchant could suggest raising taxes on the poor (terrible idea). 
Some around the table may have protested the meeting ending so soon had the princess not planted a dagger within the table's surface. It was neither polite nor elegant but Norns did it feel good to strike terror into these dullards. 
They did not matter.
In less than ten minutes Loki and Sigyn were up in their chambers and while Sigyn protested she needed a bath (she did) Loki was already grinning that grin that made Sigyn’s insides heat up immediately, being the benevolent horny goddess she was she gave up completely. There was no arguing with Loki when she was like this. 
They had found trough trial and error (which was always fun) which positions they both enjoyed best, Loki being a shapeshifter meant there was always something new and fun to try, and this, with Sigyn lay across the bed while her wife hovered her glistening cunt over her face was probably in the top twenty of positions.
(They had a long list it was constantly shifting.)
“I didn’t know dull meetings made you so horny, should I add paperwork to our fore-” Loki grabbed Sigyn by the hair, not a wise move if Sigyn was not in the mood. Sigyn was in the mood, very much in the mood and Loki knew this too.
“Behave yourself wife,” Loki purred in warning, Sigyn could feel her wife vibrate with a magical power that left her all to eager and willing to submit. She couldn’t help it, there was something insanely erotic about her incredible powerful spouse, “And you might be rewarded.”
“You’ll have to bathe me first, I had to use this weird oil on my leather trousers because they kept-” Sigyn whimpered as Loki tugged enough to hurt but not maim. Of course, it left Sigyn hungry for more, that delicious spark of pleasure strummed through her body leaving her breathless and panting.
“Let's find a better use for that mouth,” Loki warned.
“’Bout time,” Sigyn huffed as though a disgruntled lady waiting upon her late maid, Loki’s laughter was pure filth mixed with mischief. Gods Sigyn loved that laugh. 
“Always so greedy, who did you loose to today I wonder?” Loki asked as she lowered herself down onto Sigyn’s mouth.
Sigyn would blame the trousers if it were not for the fact that her wife was currently occupying her mouth with that delicious glistening cunt. The humming moan Sigyn unleashed rocked an already wet and wanting Loki to her core.
The princess slid a hand up along her pale naked body as Sigyn’s hands came up behind the princess to hold onto her hips not to keep still but simply to keep her hands otherwise occupied. She gently squeezed at the softness of Loki’s hips, loving how they felt beneath her sandy palms.
Loki sighed in pleasure watching as Sigyn settled herself, they made sure to get comfortable first. But Sigyn could not help flick her tongue out lapping at Loki’s lips causing the princess to gasp and writhe.
She held firmly onto Sigyn’s hair with one hand while drawing her other hand along her own pale thigh trying to find something else to get a purchase on as once again Sigyn lapped at her cunt savouring that taste she enjoyed so much.
“That’s it,” Loki moaned as Sigyn focused on teasing her clit at first, gentle strokes along the slit just teasing enough as slowly with each flick of her tongue she narrowly missed Loki’s aching pearl. It was equal parts delicious and frustrating. Just how Loki loved and hated it in equal measure. 
As much as Loki dared she pressed herself firmer against Sigyn’s face, “More,” she demanded of her wife knowing she would obey, this was their game that they settled on so many years ago. Each knowing how to play the others body, to summon those delicious moans and peals of pleasure.
Sigyn slid her hands along hooking them over Loki’s thighs, so she could hold her in place as she buried her tongue deeper into a gasping Loki. Sparks of pleasure added to the heat pooling with the princess leaving her to grab and squeeze her own round breast with her free hand. Slowly she teased her own pert nipple, sparks of pleasure adding to the growing pool simultaneously pleasuring herself and putting on a rather distracting show for her darling wife.  
With a long deep moan Sigyn tried not to buck, the sight of Loki playing with her own breasts was a little too much, it wasn’t fair! The vibrations of Sigyn’s long deep moan felt just right against her clit, then oh, oh so cleverly Sigyn sucked just long enough to have Loki pull up and away from her mouth fearing she would come too soon.
With no shame whatsoever Sigyn grinned up at Loki her lips glistening as the goddess’ entire body now flushed a pleasant pink slowly lowered itself back down on Sigyn who once again hooked her hands over Loki’s thighs. They quickly re-established a rhythm. With Loki left a panting wanton mess, the princess wanted to savour this for a while, there was no need to rush.
Slowly at first so not to overwhelm Loki Sigyn continued to lick and suck at the princesses clit leaving her moaning and writhing on top of her skin dampening with sweat. Sigyn admired the way Loki drew both her hands through her long raven hair, there was something about Loki lost in her pleasure helpless for a few seconds that turned her on like nothing else.
Teasing Loki’s clit with long languorous licks Sigyn kept a firm hold on her wife keeping her anchored to her mouth. Loki moaned as wave after wave of pleasure consumed her building and adding to the flames within her. She moaned heavily panting through the pleasure, her chest heaving with each inhale and exhale.
A thrum of power sent through her tongue, sharp and precise made Loki want to pull away from the sheer shock and pleasure that suddenly hit her. But Sigyn was physically stronger and kept her in position. She moaned unable to contain herself, “Ah-yes! Yes, that’s it darling again!” Loki didn’t quite beg but it was dammed close. 
The sharpness of the magic Sigyn used pulled Loki closer to the sweetness of her pleasure. Sigyn delved her tongue as deep as she could bury it leaving Loki shivering and moaning, each moan growing louder and louder. 
She tugged and pulled on Sigyn’s hair the closer she got to her pleasure the harder she pulled. Loki slid one hand over the hand that Sigyn was resting on her thigh, their fingers threading together as Loki rocked herself upon Sigyn’s mouth unable to control her actions.
“That’s it darling,” Loki whispered it almost sounded like a plea as she chased that pleasure, whispering soft nonsense into the air. Pleading, begging, needing oh so much more.
Loki’s body trembled as a warning first before she came hard, screaming into the air as her orgasm rocked her body. Her spine arched back she heaved and gasped sucking in air as bliss wracked her body leaving her writhing on top of Sigyn who continued to lick and nibble, sucking and teasing. Never relenting, never giving Loki a moment to rest.
Loki was barely able to gather her thoughts before the second orgasm was building up inside her, Sigyn unrelenting pursued Loki’s pleasure eating and consuming as Loki was left helpless on top of her grasping onto whatever she could get a hold of to try and not cum so quickly a second time.
It was borderline cruel of Sigyn to breeze past that second orgasm, Loki could barely savour it when once again she was forced to feel her pleasure rise and fall, this time with the aid of magic once again dancing on the tip of her tongue Loki was left screaming her pleasure.
The pleasant buzzing of the power left the princess at her wives mercy, she pleaded and begged whether for an end or to continue she wasn’t sure. All she knew was her mind went blank when her third orgasm hit harder than the last two.
It left her a panting mess as she fell sideways Sigyn rolled over kissing and licking up along the inside of her thighs, biting and nipping. She kissed up along Loki’s soft belly, pressing slow teasing, soothing licks, kisses and nibbles along that flawless skin that slowly shifted beneath her warm wet lips.
She grinned as she reached Loki’s neck pressing kisses against the firm muscle of the princes neck, “Darling I may need a few seconds,” Loki tried to purr but it ended with panting slur instead. His mind too far fogged for anything strenuous like thinking.
Straddling his stomach she grinned a smug, pleased, overly prideful grin, ah his Sigyn was back, victorious in her quest to please her spouse, “Good you can join me in the bath,” she smiled kissing the tip of his nose, he slurred something that might have been ‘okay’ or ‘five minutes’ he didn’t know. She giggled anyway. 
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neuxue · 5 years ago
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Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight prologue (part 3)
Levelling up and last stands
Graendal to Galad, and now Galad to Padan Fain. It’s like alignment whiplash.
The sky was black. A tempest. He liked that, though he hated the one who caused it.
This is great because there’s just a hint of ambiguity to who that actually may be. Rand? Or the Dark One? And when you have to ask, even for a second…well, that’s sort of the point, isn’t it.
Hatred. It was the proof that he still lived, the one emotion left.
Well, that’s one more than Rand at any rate.
(Pre-Dragonmount, I mean).
Padan Fain exists to chew scenery and you know what buddy? Chew away. Live your dreams.
Did his hatred cause that storm? It must be so. Yes.
Sorry Fain; pretty sure Rand has first claim on I am the storm. He just carries it better, you see. It’s a good look on him and we don’t mess with that.
I typo-ed that as ‘it’s a god look on him’ and really… either way.
When you accepted madness into yourself – embraced it and drank it in as if it were sunlight or water or the air itself – it became another part of you.
I’m mostly amused by how similar this sounds to the wording of Egwene thinking of how the Aiel handle pain. In this case I don’t think it’s particularly intentional or meaningful or anything, but it amuses me.
Another part of you. Like a hand or an eye.
Not sure those are the best examples, given Rand and also very likely at some point Mat, but sure.
He was finally free.
Has something changed? Oh, wait. Is this the first we’ve seen of him since saidin was cleansed? And Shadar Logoth destroyed? I think it is, in which case… interesting. Particularly interesting since it doesn’t seem to have affected the dagger’s power – Fain’s still obsessed with his precious, at any rate – and last we heard Rand’s wound(s) hadn’t healed. But Shadar Logoth was destroyed, and its power seemingly with it, more or less, and so now Fain or Mordeth or Smeagol or whoever he is these days is free, in a manner of speaking. That’ll end well for everyone involved, I’m sure.
Oh he killed a worm. And he’s in the Blight so that’s a Worm. Im…pressive?
Mist had begun to trail him, creeping up from the ground. Was that mist his madness, or was it his hatred? It was so familiar. It twisted around his ankles and liked at his heels.
Like a yellow fog, that rubs its back upon the window panes, a yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window panes, licks its tongue into the corners of the evening…
No? Or perhaps like, say, Mashadar? I mean, maybe it’s nothing, but if it’s not nothing, that’s… concerning. Were more things freed than Fain, in the ruination of Shadar Logoth? Open to give the world hope but did it also release some element of despair?
The mist struck.
And unless we’ve transported into one of Sanderson’s original works, that means I’m right and the cleansing of saidin did indeed have some… unintended consequences. Which is fitting, in a grander sense of balance, but still kind of… well, sad.
So Fain has levelled up again, it would seem, which is the outcome absolutely no one needed.
That said, he played enough of a part early on, and enough has been made of him from time to time afterwards, that it would be kind of weird to leave him out of the ending. Personally I wouldn’t particularly mind; watching him chew scenery is fun enough from time to time but the rest of the time I sort of tend to forget about him, and I’m not particularly invested in anything to do with him, and the slightly more critical side of me wonders if he was ever truly necessary as a character… but at this point in a series, once you have a character like that, dropping them now would feel untidy. It would feel like an oversight, or like lazy plotting.
Which is hard, when everything about him suggests that his entire purpose is to be a wildcard character. He doesn’t have a clear fated role to play in all of this, unless it’s something to do with his link to the dagger and, via that, to Mat somehow.
Instead, he’s a powerful entity on a third side in a two-sided war. Yes, there are far more factions than that within each of those sides, and so much of the point of the last several books has been that lack of unity, and the tragedy but perhaps inevitability of fighting against those who should be your allies, of losing sight of the larger conflict in favour of the smaller and more immediate ones, and of trying to forge some kind of alliance despite that, and the ways in which that can succeed or fail.
But Fain is less a part of that and more a completely outside element. Not, in a way, unlike Aridhol itself was, as it became Shadar Logoth. A darkness and an evil that came from a form of the Light and its hatred of the Shadow and, over time, twisted. And therefore was an evil that was not truly of the Shadow, but was no longer an ally of the Light. Instead it was its own poison.
That’s kind of what Fain is. Which certainly has potential, as a story element, but I am curious to see how that’s played, and how well it’s played, given the sheer volume of characters we’re dealing with, and the size of this conflict, and the many other themes already at play. Can his role, whatever it is, end up feeling satisfying? I guess we’ll read and find out on that one.
Anyway, that was a bit of a tangent, but the point of it was: yes, he’s levelled up, because I think he has to in order to have a hope of having his part in the ending being interesting or satisfying.
Red below, black above. Red and black, red and black, so much red and black.
See, the thing is, I know for a fact that Brandon Sanderson is a fan of Les Miserables, so I am fully justified in humming ‘red, the blood of angry men; black, the dark of ages past….’
Also, Moridin would approve. Of the colour scheme, if nothing else.
And also of the chaos. Some say the world will end in (bale)fire, some say in ice, and Padan Fain says fuck it why not evil killer mist. Less poetic but sure.
(Let’s play a little game called: over the course of the liveblog, how much of an English Literature syllabus do we think I’ve referenced? …on second thought let’s not play that game)
Oh, the Trollocs didn’t die, they just got a Mashadar Makeover and now they’re competing for Malkier’s Blight’s Next Top Abomination.
He left the Myrddraal. It would not rise, as rumours said they did. His touch now brought instant death to one of its kind. Pity. He had a few nails he might have otherwise put to good use.
Perhaps he should get some gloves. But if he did, he couldn’t cut his hand. What a problem.
The thing is, while the style here is very Sanderson, for a character like Fain it actually works pretty well. Which is mainly, I think, because I have long suspected Sanderson has a soft spot for writing characters who are utterly batshit and having the time of their lives with it. Pass the scenery, and the salt. Yum.
Like an old friend. A dear, beloved old friend that you were going to stab through the eye, open up at the gut and consume by handfuls while drinking his blood. That was the proper way to treat friends.
Sure, it lacks the undertone of beautiful horror, and the poetry of Machin Shin whispering about braiding flayed skin, which is in a way a shame. But it conveys the essential message and character, and at least for me, this works well as an example of Sanderson’s approach of not trying to imitate style because that could go so badly, but instead emulating the feel of the story itself. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but here, at least for me, it does.
It's ironic in a way that it’s a similar thing to what he’s done with Mat, but it has the opposite effect. With Mat – I’ve written about this elsewhere, but tl;dr is that I think he read Mat as funny and so tried to write Mat as funny, using his own methods rather than Jordan’s because imitating style exactly is a lost cause, but something very essential was lost in the translation (like the fact that Mat himself isn’t really humorous; it more comes from the contrast of his thoughts with his actions, and his character against the world around him, but I digress again). So he went for ‘convey the same idea through my own methods rather than trying to imitate Jordan’s’ – consciously or subconsciously – and it backfired. But with Fain, he’s taken the same approach – ‘convey a scenery-chewing wildcard who has lost every mind he’s possessed, which is several’ – and this time the same-idea-different-style still gets that across in a way that feels true to character.
Obviously mileage can and will vary on whether or not this works, but for me it’s just an interesting study in how a certain approach or method can succeed or fail depending on exactly how and where it’s applied, and what the cause of that success or failure may be – why it works in one place but not another, and what went right or wrong.
It is, I think, something of a writing exercise if you want to turn it into one. A bit like reverse-engineering an outline from a book you’ve read (I do this often; I realised at some point that I was doing it and then I made a point of doing it deliberately, and it’s super interesting, and for me at least it’s helped me think more deliberately about the structure of a story, and how that can be leveraged for different effects). But thinking about the specifics of what does or doesn’t work for you about the authorship switch – a particular character, or a scene, or the pacing, or the handling of a certain theme, or anything else – and then digging into the specifics of why it works, or doesn’t.
That, for me, has been more interesting than just picking out the differences. Sure, I’ll nitpick, but I prefer not to focus on it, because ‘this is different’ feels… kind of pointless. Of course it’s different. Figuring out exactly what is different, or why it’s different is interesting sometimes. But also figuring out where and how that difference matters or doesn’t is more what I’m trying to get at here. Because some of the differences, I don’t mind. Some, I do. And trying to understand why I mind some and not others has been helpful at least for me in, again, understanding all of those elements of a story or piece of writing better, and thinking about how they could be used or changed or recombined.
But then, I’m the kind of person who likes to take things apart to figure out how they work. And also to overthink every goddamn text I consume.
Still, it’s a fun one if you’re in the market for writing exercises to try whilst in quarantine.
*
Malenarin Rai. Bold of you to introduce a new POV character in the penultimate book of a series that already has dozens if not hundreds, but that’s WoT for you.
Also it’s a prologue so the rules are different.
Heeth Tower is a weird name. Heeth. But then, I don’t think Sanderson has ever been quite as good with names as Jordan was. And that’s the sort of change I’m not going to get too worked up over. (Also, it was Jordan who gave us Mountains of Dhoom, so I rest my case).
The whistling wind rattled the wooden shutter.
It’s not time for the wind yet; we’re still in the prologue! Wait your turn, wind; chapter one should be here any day now.
Using a Trolloc horn as a paperweight is pretty badass, Malenarin, but Furyk Karede and his human skull wineglass might offer some competition.
I don’t think we’ve spent much – any, depending on where exactly the scene in TPoD’s prologue takes place – time in Kandor outside of New Spring. I guess we’ve got to finish filling in the map now; we’ve only got one book left!
Malenarin’s son is turning fourteen soon, so he might just be lucky enough to get Tarmon Gai’don as a birthday party.
He smiled, setting the Trolloc horn on the note, in case that shutter broke open again. He’d slain the Trolloc who had borne that horn himself. Then he walked over to the side of his office and opened his battered oak trunk. Among the other effects inside was a cloth-wrapped sword, the brown scabbard kept well oiled and maintained, but faded with time.
Typing it out, it’s not even that similar, but reading this my first thought was of Tam al’Thor, pulling out his old trunk and his old sword at the beginning of The Eye of the World, before giving it to Rand as he sets off on his coming-of-age story.
To have a duty was to have pride – just as to bear a burden was to gain strength.
In moderation, though. *Looks pointedly at Rand al’Thor*
I still don’t understand how turning their backs on the Blight to go find the Dragon Reborn to tell him to pay attention to the Blight is a good idea for the Borderland rulers. I must be missing something here and I hope it is eventually revealed to me, because otherwise that is terrible strategy on so many counts.
The only way to go to the fourth level was to climb a narrow, collapsible ramp on the outside of the tower
What could possibly go wrong? I mean, last time we were in Kandor a kid was thrown off a balcony, so…
[Jargen] wore a cord looped around the shoulder of his brown uniform; it bore a knot for each Trolloc he’d killed. There had to be approaching fifty knots in the thing by now.
That’s cute, Rand says, flicking dust off his shoulder Luke-Skywalker-in-The-Last-Jedi style, and flicking some Arrows of Fire off with it to torch another thousand or so Trollocs without breaking a sweat.
But okay, yes, for an ordinary non-protagonist non-Lan in a random guard tower in Kandor, I suppose that qualifies as pretty badass.
The beacons have been lit! Gondor Rena Tower calls for aid!
Pretty sure that’s your cue, Lan.
Or not; Malenarin seems to think it’s his cue to confirm the SOS and start preparing the tower for… bad things, probably.
Seriously, wind, wait your turn.
Of course his son is next on the list of messenger boys to be sent out. Well, it’s a better fate than being thrown off a balcony at least. Maybe.
‘No, we need to send several messengers. Double up. Just in case the towers fall.’
Do you have any uncrowned infant kings you want to send as well? Just checking.
Malenarin let himself feel a hint of relief that his son was one of those riding to safety. There was no dishonour in that; the messages needed to be delivered, and Keemlin was next on the roster.
There is a kind of parallel here – less a parallel, perhaps, than an echo – to Lan. A son sent to safety as a Borderland hold prepares to fall, the sense of a last stand. Because in the Borderlands perhaps that is not so unusual a story, in its way. The Wheel of Time turns.
It was time for Tarmon Gai’don. And looking out into the storm, Malenarin thought he could see to the very edge of time itself. An edge that was not so far distant.
Maybe you should have a dream-chat with Moridin, Malenarin. Maybe it’s just the air in the Blight: gives you nihilist thoughts.
Oh oops, his son wasn’t one of the messengers to go. Because he decided to be all noble and let another boy go in his place, whose mother had already lost four sons. That’s sweet, kid, and it’ll probably get you killed.
Tian, Sanderson? Named after another ill-fated messenger boy in your own works, perhaps?
‘Run down to my office,’ Malenarin said. ‘There is a sword in my oaken trunk. Fetch it for me.’
Aw. Because his son has proven himself a man, three whole days early. Because we’re approaching the end now, and it’s time for everyone to take their last steps into their roles, become who they must be to face that end – whether they’re a protagonist or just some poor doomed kid in a tower in the Blight.
It's something these kinds of snapshot one-off scenes are good for: to show the scope of the story, that it touches everyone, no matter that they’ve never even met Rand or any of the others. And to give this sense of those final steps happening in snapshots like this across the land. The sense of an entire world taking a last deep breath. And so we pause for brief close-ups on the faces of some of the extras stepping onto the battlefield, to illustrate that.
Keemlin’s swearing his version of the ‘kill the bad things until we die or they do’ that every Borderland (and Aiel) nation seems to have, each with its own slight semantic variations.
‘Rise as a man, my son!’
This is no place, or time, for children. Ergo, he can no longer be a child, by simple virtue of being here. Which makes this a rather bittersweet moment; Malenarin’s proud of his son but there’s also this sense that far too many children are having to grow up far too fast in these last moments (and others will never grow up at all – in today’s theme of referencing poetry I like, go check out The Lads in their Hundreds).
They yelled defiance of the Shadow. For a moment, their voices rang louder than the thunder.
I don’t have a lot to say about this except that it’s a lovely image.
Together they turned to face the oncoming Shadow.
Nice knowing you.
Draghkar overhead and Trollocs oncoming, and they’re just a lonely tower waiting to die. I do love a doomed last stand, even if it’s characters I’ve never met before and likely will never see again.
Malenarin was a man of the Borderlands, same as his father, same as his son beside him. They knew their task. You held until you were relieved.
THAT’S YOUR CUE, LAN.
Next (ToM ch 1) Previous (ToM prologue pt.2)
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themoonstarwarrior · 4 years ago
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PLAYLIST SHUFFLE TAG!
Okay, so @viterbofangirl tagged me in this and I need to start learning to post my own shit, so what the hell, why not?
Rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to! put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 15 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!
(I couldn’t stop at 10 so I added 5 more, sue me)
I have very random music taste and I listen to my music on shuffle alot, so I made a playlist of the ones I like the most (that way I don’t hafta skip 150 songs to get to the one I feel like) so I’m gonna use that one.
1) History of Violence - Theory of a Deadman
Hoo boy starting off light huh?.... Yeah so, I was in the drive thru at Sonic when I first heard this on the radio and was immediately like “holy shit”. Instead of like metaphors and poetic subtlety, it’s just straight up like “here’s a poor abused woman who resorted to murdering her shitty boyfriend/husband cuz she couldn’t take it dum dum dum”. Even though the actual situation is not the same, this song is perfect for getting across the internal issues and turmoil of my character Mikey. Its so perfect I’m even planning to animate something for it...... if I ever get around to learning animation that is.....     
2) The Vengeful One - Disturbed
Two songs in and I look kinda emo.... But hey this song is soooooo cathartic! I love me a good heavy rock song, and the drums and electric guitar are perfect for my ears to absorb. This song gives off a feeling of overwhelming power mixed with a coldness and disdain for the bad in the world. Obviously, thats not my usual temperment, but its an interesting one to explore! Especially when I’m trying to get into the head of characters that exude that like my OCs Spark or Ryu. Plus its fun to sing in the car X)
3) Enter Sandman - Metallica
Okay this one is just a classic! Same thing with the drums and guitar they both slap SOOOOO GOOD. I don’t really associate this song with any of my characters or fandom favorites, but it DOES give me a super strong urge to learn the drums. EXXXXXXXXIT LIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! OFF TO NEVER NEVERLAND!!
4) We Are Giants - Lindsey Stirling ft. Dia Frampton
I don’t really to listen to music by band or artist, but I LOVE Lindsey Stirling!!! She’s probably my favorite musician! This is such a good song, especially for someone like me. Its a positive song that talks about feeling alone in a crowd and unimportant to the world, but how you really do matter and shouldn’t be afraid to dream big and shoot for the stars. It really speaks to me and the vocalization is so good (especially for singing), not to mention the official music video is animated and AMAZING!
5) Cetus - Lensko NCS
I dunno if anyone knows this song, but damn its good. Its one of those Royalty-Free songs that people look up for their channels, which is how I found it in the first place, but I loved it immediately. Its a peppy 8-bit electronic bop that turns a little Irish jig at the end and honestly I think if I ever start an animation channel I’m totally gonna use it! (Also go support Lensko he make good beats!)
6) Sanctuary - Utada Hikaru
I did not grow up with Kingdom Hearts, and only played KH2 within the past year n’ a half. But good God, the moment that Cinematic Opening came on and this song started playing I swear I astral projected into a daze of feelings without names. I know that “Simple and Clean” is the quintessential Kingdom Heart song that gives everyone feelings, but IMHO Sanctuary blows it out of the water. As beautiful as the animation was, or how curious the occasional backwards lyrics are, or how weird it is having high-res Goofy and Donald in what is essentially an anime opening, I really can’t be distracted from this song when I play.
7) Chemical Plant Zone (Rock Remix) - Zerobadniks
Chemical Plant Song is like, one of the TOP Sonic songs by popular vote (and we know how awesome the Sonic series is musically so thats saying something!), but I could never quite vibe with the normal 8-bit version. I think I first heard this as someone’s ringtone and was immediately like “THATS PERFECT THATS EXACTLY HOW I NEED IT!”. The rock makes the song soooo much better and honestly gives the song the perfect vibe. Unfortunately, it took FOREVER to find cuz none of the Rock Covers of this song were the right one. In fact, tbh, I’m not even sure whether Zerobadniks is the correct artist..... that’s just who everybody was crediting when I found it. 
(imma include the link i found since its a little hard to find: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqJiZEM6aPI )
8) The Wolf - SIAMES
YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEOS???? THIS IS A GOD-TIER ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEO. I found the video first, and seriously, if you haven’t seen it YOU NEED TO!!! The beat works perfectly with the images on screen and the story being portrayed is really intriguing, with the lyrics adding to atmosphere without necessarily describing the visuals shown. Even without the animation, the song itself is a banger. It bring to mind the feeling of intense motion forward, but unable to decide whether its movement TOWARD something or AWAY from something. I love listening to this on a nighttime drive.
9) Burn the House Down - AJR
If you ask me, the best way to make a pop song better is to add either violins or trumpets. For this song, it was definitely the trumpets that first caught my attention, and the rest of the song kept me listening. I don’t really know how to describe the vibe of this song, and I don’t have a specific character or story in mind when I listen to it, so its a little hard for me to talk about it. I think the best way I can describe this song and what draws me to it is a feeling of nonchalant go-with-the-flow attitude to shenaniganry. Almost an undertone of “We’re hooligans in a situation that we probably should get out of, but hey we’ve got life and each other so why worry?” At least that’s the closest I can get to a verbal description heh...
10) Slim Pickens Does the Right Thing and Rides the Bomb to Hell - The Offspring 
DANCE, FUCKER, DANCE, LET THE MOTHERFUCKER BURN!!!
So this also has a KICKASS animated music video, but its technically combined with the song “Dividing by Zero”. Now the video works SO well with both, and the shifting artstyles reflect the differing tones of the songs PERFECTLY. However, I have a preference for both the animation and the song on the Slim Pickens half. Its fun to listen to and sing at the top of your lungs and its SO CATHARTIC. Again I cant really describe what my head does when I hear it, but I think you can probably feel a similar vibe if you watch the music video. 
11) No Heaven - DJ Champion
The first time I finished the original Borderlands, I had been playing for days on end, had just finished a long battle with the Destroyer, and sitting back relieved to have beaten it and reflecting on how much I had enjoyed the adventure. Then this song started playing. For what I believe was forty minutes this song looped on my TV while the credits rolled. By the time the credits finished I was pulling up the song to listen to again! What an absolutely PERFECT cherry to add to this experience. This song perfectly encapsulated the chaotic, trigger-happy, morally ambiguous craziness that I had enjoyed and absorbed in this game. Every time I hear it now, I imagine myself in the wastelands of Pandora, driving haphazardly across the sandy dunes as my companions and I shoot and blow up everything in sight. You know, living the dream.......     
12) Hit & Run (Wolfgang Lohr Remix) -  The Electric Swing Circus
I fucking LOVE electro-swing! The electronic beats and rhythm blend so well with the wild and energetic freedom of swing. A lot of electro-swing gives me a vibe of wild movement, reckless abandon, and freedom from constraint. I think this song melds all of these feelings the best! As the last song might have indicated, despite my general nice and sweet temperament, there is a part of me deep down that is an absolute gremlin secretly enamored with chaos, insanity, and a general disdain for law and authority X). But whereas anything Borderlands related has a more “morality is an illusion blowing shit up is real” air about it, this song is far more peppy. More of a “good-hearted but insane” type of chaos, like an 100mph car chase where you end up sailing over the train tracks JUST as the train passes.
.... I may have gotten a bit off track lol 
13) Kickstart my Heart - Motley Crue
I love this song, but I have to be VERY careful when and where I listen to this. I love songs that make me feel like I’m going a million miles per hour, like I’m gotdam Sonic the Hedgehog. Unfortunately, I may or may not have had multiple instances of listening to this song in the car and abruptly realizing that I’m going like 15mph above the speed limit...... So yeah, regardless of absolutely perfect it feels to play this song while speeding down a nearly empty highway, please be careful and drive responsibly!!!
14) I’m Born to Run - American Authors
Imma just up and say it. This song is a Sonic song; like not like actually from the series but a song for the character. This song encapsulates Sonic as a character better than some of his ACTUAL THEMES (and remember Sonic music are bangers!). Its a song about freedom, living life as it comes, and not letting anything slow you down. Frankly I’m surprised they didn’t make this song FOR the Sonic series, or even the movie! Speaking of which, ironically I heard this song right after watching the Sonic movie in theaters, so yeah there’s no way I can associate it with anything else. 
15) Opa Opa - Antique
Oh, what a PERFECT way to end this list! This may be one of my absolute favorite songs of all time! I don’t remember exactly how I found this song... I think I had just relistened to Dalar Mehndi’s “Tunak Tunak Tun” and was looking for other catchy non-english songs and BOY HOWDY I found one! I know nothing about the band or what the song’s about (its in greek and i dont speak it), but this song is just a masterpiece of retro, pop, and dance sounds. This song feels like the musical and lyrical manifestation of dance and movement. I really REALLY wish I could dance JUST so I can express how happy and free this song makes me feel! This is the BEST song for me to end this list with!
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JESUS, this got long..... Sorry about that XD. It was fun though, and hopefully somebody was vaguely interested in my ramblings.
Guess I need to tag people now? How about @tharkflark1, @rockmilkshake, @neonbuck, @drawingsdrawingseverywhere, @birthgiverofbirds, @puccafangirl, @kalcat, @biblestudybussybopsbabey, @monstrous-milktea, and @memecage! I think there are a couple of people here I haven’t talked to though soooooo..... hi, I hope you don’t mind the tag X)
 Anyway hope you enjoyed and/or want to do this too! This took for-fucking-EVER to type, so imma go fuck off and watch youtube or something now...
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