#i promise i am not being controversial for the sake of controversy lol

[sisterdivinium]

Liking or disliking fictional characters is wholly dependent on subjectivity, but as there will be those baffled by others' attachments, I thought it might be interesting to delve into an unforgettable, uncomfortable scene featuring Ava and Mother Superion to see if the latter's so-called cruelty "should" soil our opinion of her as some apparently believe it must despite later developments.

Let us begin with a quick recapitulation and a summary of what we see when we arrive at this scene: we are at the Cat's Cradle soon after Ava's coercitive conduction there (rather than autonomous arrival), hostile ground very reminiscent of the orphanage where she was mistreated by another group of nuns for years on end. On the other hand, the convent is familiar territory for Mother Superion, her turf, her natural habitat, even, something she would protect at any cost. She is the active enactor of "cruelty" while Ava is its (not-so-passive) recipient -- a woman facing a girl, the representative of an institution facing a lonely individual with no such backing, a believer facing a sceptic, a master and a rookie, someone who once held a certain position and lost it to someone else who holds it now.

There are a number of opposing values embodied by these two characters in this moment, but perhaps, most of all, what thickens the atmosphere around them is their own relationship to the halo: the object which brought Ava back to life, thrusting this outsider into a secret, hermetic order, is the same coveted object that ambiguously rules the OCS, the cause of both grief and anticipation, essential to a beloved sister warrior's death as well as to the aborted ascension of another to the simultaneously prized and feared status of halo bearer.

Here is a dead girl reborn and hungering for some new kind of life, set against a living woman so well-used to and prepared for death as only an experienced, battle-worn soldier can be.

The clash is inevitable.

Even their positions in the scene itself announce it: the vertical aspect of it, with Ava on the floor, her foot stuck in the wall (the same extremity which first twitches and denounces her resurrection after her being unable to use it for so long) while Superion towers darkly over her, symbolically supported by the dogma of centuries with which she is all but blended while Ava pops out in contrast with the empty, colourful wall. The hierarchy is more than clear and, as the one more advanced in said hierarchy, Superion is bound to be the one wielding the metaphorical whip for which her cane is an apt replacement as an instrument of visible, chastising power.

Here is a superior ready to admonish an unruly subordinate, heartless rules and expectations ready to punish someone who did not even choose to be placed under their majesty to begin with.

Of course we side with Ava, how could we not?

She is the weaker link, an innocent being condemned of a crime she did not commit, moved to tears by vile accusations and conduct -- she is the protagonist whose point of view we have followed from the start of the show two episodes ago, whose inner thoughts we are privy to through voice-over comments the likes of which we do not receive for any other characters for the duration of the story.

Superion, however, is introduced only now, a few running minutes prior to this conflict. We don't know her, we don't trust her, we are not allowed any intimacy with her and so the only impression we can rely on is the one provided by Ava's perspective.

Boss bitch, wicked stepmother... Those words are not neutral.

Our opinion, then, is smartly "manipulated" thanks to the lack of independent information we can gather at this point. We have no choice but to condemn Mother Superion, her bluntness, her harshness by the end of this tense dialogue with Ava.

Interestingly, as vicious as her words about Ava are in the following confrontation with Vincent -- callous, hurtful words that stick with us and reinforce our negative impression of her ("a sinner" who "killed herself", an "aberration", a "cancer") --, those terrible words Superion uses were never directed at Ava, not to her face. Calling someone a coward, as she does within the study, might be offensive, but poor Ava's tears might have flowed more abundantly had she heard these other terms being used about her.

Turns out Mother Superion was honest when talking to Vincent earlier.

She didn't go easy indeed, but she also never revealed to Ava the full extent of her contempt. There was some amount of self-restraint and regard for the newcomer despite appearances.

When speaking of Superion's "cruelty" towards Ava, it's "sinner", "aberration" and "cancer" that come to mind... But she never spoke those words to Ava, just to Vincent.

We hear them, we may judge her sternly, but what did Ava actually get from her? Is it really that much of a stretch to understand Ava's forgiveness, to the point where she demonstrates she cares about the nun's view even before their encounter at the Vatican in 1x09 is over, when she attempts to sway Mother Superion's opinion of her by telling her how she is fighting and protecting her friends even if it looks like she's running from trouble yet again?

In reality, what Suzanne speaks of within the red room is Ava's accident, of her death caused by overdose, of how it must have been a nightmare... There are bits of false or biased information given her source, but there are bits of truth in there as well, if tactlessly delivered. The accusation of suicide is heavy, that of coward is perhaps a tad too strong... But nothing of the words exchanged in that moment, however heightened they are by Sylvia de Fanti and Alba Baptista's shining talent, can come close to the rawness displayed in the conversation she has with Vincent -- a conversation Ava is not present for. "Coward" is a speck of dust compared to "aberration".

Of course there's a reason for this mixture we, as an audience, are likely to make between points of view. This was a practical, clever way to nudge us towards sympathy for Vincent and antipathy for Superion, as a means to enhance the later effect of the former's betrayal and the latter's change of heart at the end of s1. Without this scene, both of those events lose their lustre -- but with its inclusion, it seems there are those who are distracted by it and who will still point an accusing finger at the nun, insisting on seeing her in a much more negative light than Ava herself could, oblivious to the character's evolution as the story unfolds.

If at first we rely on Ava's impressions, this scene provides us with Vincent's perspective, which flattens our view of the situation and might lead us to ignore the surprisingly emotionally charged reaction on Superion's part -- which should vehemently suggest to us that there is much more happening underneath her mask of severity.

Moreover, taking Vincent's "side" seems reasonable enough in this episode, but the revelation of his shaky moral grounds further on should at the very least cause a viewer still full of antipathy for Suzanne, even in spite of her redeeming actions, to question whether they truly wish to maintain their ideas when this fallible man who is cruel in his own way has helped cement them.

We could make a case for these two scenes, the one between Ava and Suzanne as well as the one between Suzanne and Vincent, as being only one. Looking at them together is the best method of ascertaining their effects to the fullest extent.

As a result of their confrontation, Ava is left crying... And, at the end of the debate between the priest and the nun, Suzanne leaves the scene in tears as well, if more contained ones. There's a strange sort of equivalence for both women, as the consequences are the same, their emotional reactions are essentially the same and both are left feeling deeply hurt.

That correspondence is perfectly understandable, if shocking at first to those who haven't yet regarded these events with a wider consideration. For, despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary, despite their myriad differences, their power imbalance, the way they are shown on-screen, visually antithetical to one another, the truth is that Ava Silva and Mother Superion here are precisely the same.

The environment, the camera cuts, the authority... It's all a decoy.

If we look at the relationship between speaker and listener, between two individuals who are supposedly participating in the same process of communication together, both Ava and Suzanne choose the same approach: one which negates the very possibility of dialogue, of exchange, of alternating turns between speaking and listening. They are as two negative magnets, irrevocably repulsed by one another's identical charge -- hence the also identical result of both women being moved to tears in the outcome to their meeting.

Mother Superion is, as we know well, strongly prejudiced against Ava when first they are brought together... But so has Ava formed an opinion on her and on the Order of the Cruciform Sword. Both of them have judged the other based on sources of knowledge they see no reason to suspect: Suzanne takes the word of a fellow nun for granted, keeping to class loyalty, while Ava trusts her empirical learning in the direct contact she had with other nuns. Opening an interesting epistemological debate, illustrating how serious the failures of understanding the world through only one fixed method are, ignoring that a complex, multiple existence requires multiple points of view in order to better perceive its truths, neither Suzanne's faith nor Ava's direct experience can fully qualify them in dealing with the other. Both fail to see through the image they have construed of one another, trusting in the surface, in stereotype all the while closing themselves off to genuine connection with one another.

They have both made up their minds about the other party prior to any real dialogue, so their interactions simply cannot be done in good faith -- not by an Ava who doesn't take the nuns or their vocation (or their grief) seriously, not by a Mother Superion plagued by issues of self-esteem and envy.

Another element determines their proposed equality. It is possible that some degree of recognition regarding Ava and their common status, on Suzanne's part, takes place fairly early on, feeding the animosity.

I've been asked before whether Suzanne might not have seen her younger, foolish self in Lilith's arrogance, but it would be just as feasible to assume she might see herself reflected in Ava as well, in her impulsiveness.

If Suzanne might be linked to Lilith through a shared instinct of aggression, then she might as well see a connection to Ava through her indiscipline, her refusal to conform during that initial stay at the Cat's Cradle.

The horror of seeing oneself in "the other" should not be underestimated. It is a moment of realisation wherein this "other" is revealed as not-so-other to begin with as it carries a portion of ourselves in it -- or vice-versa, which only serves to denounce how artificial the obstacles we erect between one another truly are. We can't separate life into neat little boxes of "us vs. them", we can't build hierarchies, rigid orders based on how alien someone else is when we see through the lies and accept that either we, too, are monstrous or that those "monsters" out there are just the same as we.

And if Superion does see something of herself in Ava early on, it's no surprise that she would reject it as well as Ava just as she rejects herself and the echoes of her own actions, her own brashness on that fateful night where her Mother Superion was indirectly slain by her own hand, as a result of her own indiscipline.

That preoccupation with her girls and their safety which Suzanne demonstrates, despite Vincent's inference of her having other intentions when she pushes Ava away, is highly unlikely to be insincere.

Moreover, Ava is an outsider... And, in some capacity, so is Suzanne.

Imprisoned within her own guilt and sentiments of inadequacy, she distances herself from others to such a degree that she might well be on the outside looking in.

Just as Mary can pinpoint this fault with unerring precision and play a central part to Mother Superion's turning the tides at last, so does Mary fulfil the same function in regards to Ava, opening her eyes as she does Suzanne and strengthening the parallel between the two women.

Mary identifies and helps correct both women's conduct as Ava and Suzanne both pushed others away in their own fashion and for their own reasons; the problem is much the same, as is the catalyst that ultimately drives them towards a solution.

That solution, of course, is building bridges instead of burning them down; it's coming to terms with the fact that there is something shared between even those who seem most inimical. Ava and Suzanne are the same, like an estranged pair of mother and daughter who finally set aside their generational differences or incompatibilities, who finally reject the power of fabricated opposition to embrace a much more authentic, honest way of seeing the other as well as themselves and meet in the middle. They accept the fact that what sets them apart is not as important as what brings them together; they overcome the easy, lazy, automatic barrier of antagonism (not without a struggle) with the end of mutual benefit where once there was only mutual injury, lifting the veil or banishing the shame or fear of seeing underneath it only the most familiar of faces.

It's no surprise, then, that their ultimate reconciliation comes through a literal scene of recognition as that in 1x09. Whatever horror there might have existed in Suzanne's facing her reflection in Ava fades as Ava gets the opportunity to be the one staring into the mirror for once.

This scene, once again masterfully played out by Sylvia and Alba, wouldn't even be possible without the previous negativity surrounding their relationship. Now it is defined by what renders them equal; now that equality is not denied and so there is no further miscommunication between them.

This is all reinforced, of course, in s2, when Suzanne opens up to Ava about her time as the halo bearer (thus, as someone who has been in Ava's position, someone just like her) as well as when Ava tells her she will do what she must alone, for the sake of the others -- and Suzanne understands and supports her despite the lessons learned during her own tenure as the warrior nun.

In a world so large and complex, where we are more and more prone to defining ourselves against others as we attempt to reduce some of that maddening complexity, the definitions that really allow us to approach and coexist with our fellows are those that provide healing, that pull them towards us rather than not. Only they can reopen the routes for clean, generous communication, unhindered by problems of malicious (mis)interpretation, and, therefore, facilitate the genuine human connection we all so crave.

So, once more, it would seem that a negative occurrence in Warrior Nun begets positive outcomes.

What we think of as a vicious, savage, unforgivable attack is, first of all, bad but not as vicious or savage as we might initially feel it is -- just enough to affect the very person responsible for it as much as her target, which should be enough of a hint as to how truly merciless this character is(n't). Moreover, it is the first, shaky step both characters take in the sinuous, parallel journey with a common destination that betters them both.

Funny how all of that "cruelty" amounts to a fairly (or deceptively) simple question.

One which, like it or not, prompts Ava to ponder and act, to move, faithful to herself. Her more immediate answer is what we see at the end of 1x03, of course. But the following events in the narrative, in Ava's life, force her to consider what it might actually mean to live -- and we know how that progresses, where that takes her.

And so might we reconsider alongside Ava: our sympathies, our understanding of characters' motivations, whether any of them can be fully right or wrong... If we're paying attention, we shall see that all of them triumph and commit blunders regardless of whatever moral standing they possess, of how central or marginal they are to the show, of how much we might individually like or dislike them. They're built as human as can be, themselves a reflection of our own sprawling, complex world, where most things are relative rather than absolute.

Prejudice is blinding. Identifying and not shying away from our commonality is infinitely more conducive to social life, however difficult it might be to act so. We all of us are susceptible to judging others incorrectly. Even difficult experiences can make us grow us as people in the end -- if only we're willing to find out how.

Now, I cannot speak for all self-avowed fans of Mother Superion, but I find that her presence and importance in the story and in Ava's path is abundantly clear.

There are other reasons to love her, but the next time someone claims it strange to be so keen on a character who was so "mean", perhaps it will be a jolly good opportunity to help them realise how, as Ava and Superion themselves, this person might just be a little too caught up in their own premature conclusions. They are, by choosing to ignore the very well-wrought development of both characters, thanks to one another, adopting the very posture they claim to abhor in Suzanne by denying her complexity and groundlessly seeing her as nothing more but caricature.

And to do so is to fall for the very trap this wonderful show is so earnestly trying to warn us against.

[taywans]

why do people like tharntype the series so much? i just don’t understand how their relationship dynamic is appealing ... like what am i supposed to be excited about exactly???

the two of them are so toxic together . tharn seems unable to understand what consent is. even after they get together, he never apologises to type re: his past conduct. also this man is bland af. you could literally replace him with any other hot guy stock character and it would make no difference to the show. why??? because his entire characterization is oh. i play instruments. i’m popular. i’m rich. end of story.

type’s characterization is a bit better and i did enjoy his scenes, especially in the first half of s1. his backstory showed some promise for complexity, and i was excited to see the process of his recovery and gradual acceptance of his feelings/orientation. spoiler alert i didn’t get to see shit LOL. the lack of any reasonable follow up to type’s tra//uma after we learn about his past a/buse is not sexy. after he gets together with tharn, all his recurring dreams and all other t/rauma responses just kinda. vanish. newsflash, t//rauma doesn’t work like that!!!

also re: the main conflict in s1, we never get any hints that lhong is anything but nice before the big reveal, so it just felt out of the blue. plus, the audacity of this show, trying to give him a redemption arc - like please, at some point you have to accept when a character is beyond saving. am i really supposed to feel an ounce of sympathy for this dude?? i don’t care if he’s reformed himself, he should rot in jail. the fact that the show try to explain lhong’s trash behaviour when type is dealing with related trau//ma is a confusion of the thematic messages of the story. like what was i . supposed to learn from this. thats its ok to organize a gan...g r*** to mess with guy i’m one-sidedly attached to, as long as i have a tragic backstory?? the fucking fact that tharn even gives him the time of day, when lhong screwed over both his bf and ex-bf in some way, is messed up.

s2 characterizations are also weird af. in certain scenes with type, i could only see gulf because it felt very ooc... from the established characterization in s1, i just couldn’t envision type being all smiley and lovey-dovey with tharn. tharntype spent all of s1 arguing pretty much, and type was pretty much grumpy 90% of the time, so the sudden shift to domesticity took me aback. it was just a very notable character/dynamic shift that i noticed and didn’t vibe with.

also, type’s utter lack of awareness in s2 (despite him generally being quite perceptive in s1?? note: uncovering lhong’s entire scheme? UM?), to the point that he just . gets drunk with some dude that he knows is crushing on him ??? if im not mistaken, fiat is a minor too, which makes it even worse because type as an adult should know better than to put them both in that situation. he was the one who chose to invite fiat out because of his own troubles, and let his guard down by drinking when he really shouldn’t have. i just feel like something isn’t lining up, because as an a///buse survivor you’d think he’d be a little more cautious about these things?? it feels out of character, tldr. its almost like they didn’t have enough plot content for s2 ... and they chose to include forced, unnecessary cheating drama for the sake of retaining viewership ... ..

like if you’re only into tharntype the series because tharntype is spicy and bc mewgulf have good chemistry on set then that’s valid, but if ur saying that you genuinely like the plot of tharntype and the utter lack of delicacy they have when handling mature themes/character arcs.... then i beg, please exblain to me why -

(i’m not going to even touch upon lbc klano ish, don’t need that dumpster fire of a controversy to explain why tharntype the series is already bad as it is, in itself)

[gebtoons]

my contribution to the bapo timeline discourse bc i’m just gonna propose a timeline and will not be taking criticism <3 (under the cut bc this is gonna be a long post probably) 

ok disclaimer I am quite stupid, however I’m gonna use my knowledge from my own 12 years in american public high school and what little info I have about american boarding schools/catholic schools that I have from my friends lol. so. idk. 

i’m also gonna date songs/major events and i’m gonna be taking some “just trust me bro” liberties bc y’all are right it does NOT make that much sense. 

January 6: Epiphany; this is like an actual holiday lol. like its always on the sixth. idk its good that this is the starting point bc its an actual date yknow? For the purposes of this timeline were going with that its early in the week, so lets go with Monday idk

January 6-13: You and I, Role of a Lifetime; so we’re all kinda in agreement that this timeline (at least the beginning) only really makes sense if you and i/role of a lifetime aren’t like. a singular moment and are instead multiple days. so yeah, of this first week, this is like. monday-next sunday ish yknow. 

January 14: Auditions, Plain Jane Fatass; ok so having auditions for a spring musical right after kids get back from break actually makes perfect sense to me, like i can see it being like “ok take break to prepare so as soon as you come back we can have auditions so we can jump right into rehersals” yknow? and since the rave is clearly on a friday (”we’ll meet in tanya’s room on friday night”) so i’m going with the monday before.  

as for pjf, i know it doesn’t make a ton of sense for them to get a two week late birthday package their first few weeks back from school, but hear me out it makes sense. the implication throughout this entire show is that the twins have decently shitty parents. from bits of dialogue (in this song in particular lol) i’m kinda inferring their the “only concerned with how their kids make them look to others” kind of neglectful. so I don’t think it’s too outside the realm of possibility that they went away for the holidays, didn’t bring the twins, and instead mailed them a birthday package and having it show up two weeks late. realistically the timing of this isnt that important and the explicit “two week” time frame could’ve been an exaggeration on nadia’s part to mock her shit parents (idk its in her character) basically ppl are a little two fixated on this imo but anyway. moving on. 

January 18: Wonderland, A Quiet Night At Home, Rolling, Best Kept Secret; a very agreed upon point in the timeline. its the friday following the auditions. moving on. 

January 21: Confession; also very agreed upon. the monday following the rave. moving on again 

January 23: Portrait of a Girl; the date here is kinda arbitrary, but bc sister chantelle says “ok lets try to put yesterday’s rehearsal behind us” and i for the life of me cannot think of a scene she could be referring to (there’s none in the script either) that implies it wasn’t the same monday as confession (bc even in a boarding school i think holding extracurriculars that aren’t sports over the weekend (especially when they are no where near crunch time lol) is weird and not common) so i just picked a random day during the week

January 25: Birthday Bitch!, One Kiss, Are You There?; from matt’s line in wonderland, ivy’s birthday is a week after the rave. in my timeline that’s january 25th (an aquarius queen). 

btw given all grown up’s “17, how will i manage?” ivy is 16 during 17 at her party, which is strange given shes a high school senior and seniors are typically 17 during 18. so either a) she skipped a grade, not an unheard of thing. or b) shes not a senior, shes just a junior who hangs out with a bunch of seniors, which is also pretty common. and looking through the script i can’t find any mention that she is also a senior, other than yknow she graduates with them, but she isn’t mentioned during the class ranking scene? so idk not that it really matters just a fun detail 

February 3 (at night): 911 Emergency!; ok controversial. i know i like the joke about how its funny that peter having a weird dream when he was high prompted him to want to come out and really ruined his relationship with jason. BUT. i think the dream (despite it’s weirdness) would have a lot more meaning if it wasn’t the result of being really high, but if it was a dream he had like a week later as a result of a building sense of guilt/anxiety bc he told matt. also it fits better given later timeline things. (this timeline literally only exists if there are weird jumps in time that don’t make a ton of sense) (EDIT: I forgot one line about Jason crashing at ivys but fuck it forget that bitchass line this makes for more drama its staying this way)

February 4: Reputation Stain’d, Ever After; the next day following peter’s dream, idk what else to say, moving on. 

February 25-28: Spring; another jump! i’m sorry but the only way for this to make sense logistically is for there to be quite a few time jumps! however, i also think this one works bc i think it gives time for everything from around ivy’s party and peter and jason’s break up to stew emotionally. like obviously a musical only has so much time to tell a story so the audience cannot see every realistic beat, but honestly i think it makes the whole thing a little more dramatic™ if there’s space for everything to settle, and for ivy to come and apologize and such. also, the reason it’s multiple days is bc in the script, ivy is trying to study (presumably for some sort of midterm) while nadia is playing, so that probably takes place a few days before they move out, so before finals. but in the script, jason and peter are packing and peter is leaving, so that part of the song/staging takes place on the 28th. yes, that’s weird, but we are clearly thinking more about the logistics of this school than the writers were so. 

March 1: One; assuming st. cecilia’s works kinda like boarding schools here, they probably do staggered move out/move in, just bc that would be a lot to have people coming and going at once so it makes sense that peter left the day before, while jason and ivy are leaving the next day. also, given that peter is trying to call jason while he and ivy are banging, it’s probably been a hot minute since the actual break up, since peter was clearly very hurt by the whole thing, it would make sense (at least to me) that peter would reach out a month ish later, rather than like a few days later (you have to make so many assumptions to make this timeline work granted they aren’t super out there assumptions but still this is annoying) 

March 1-25: Spring Break. the coworkers I have who are in boarding school work over their school breaks, which are longer than the public school breaks (which are only a week) so i put their spring break at 3 weeks. it makes sense, and it makes the later part of the timeline make sense. 

I know i’m already halfway through this, but to me it makes sense for their to be quite a few time jumps in the story bc its a musical. they cannot show every day. there are a lot of other shows (particularly shows set in high schools) that are set over a whole school year, but if you just look at the events of the story that doesn’t make sense, so you have to imply that obviously they are not showing every little detail. moving on. 

March 25: Wedding Bells, In The Hallway, Touch My Soul; peter wakes up from his nightmare in the church, so im assuming he fell asleep in church (like he almost did during epiphany). also it makes sense that class ranks are announced in late march-early april, I know my school announced ours in like, the first week or so of april? so yeah. moving on.

(from this point on i was giving myself a headache trying to make it make sense so its all weird from here!!)

April 4: See Me, Warning; the date doesn’t really matter here, I picked a random day in early april. the script said peter is calling from him and jason’s old dorm room, as he was picking up the last of his things, so he clearly made the roommate switch after school started (makes sense to me). 

April 15-20 (approximately): Ivy finds out she’s pregnant. look google tells me on average people find out they are pregnant around 5-7 weeks after conception. i went with around 7 just so this timeline makes a tiny bit more sense given the later stuff, so yeah here we go. 

May 4: Pilgrim’s Hands, God Don’t Make No Trash, All Grown Up, Promise, Once Upon A Time, Cross; a rough night for our heroes. so given sister chantelle saying “again? wonderful.” and nadia saying “i can’t believe you missed rehearsal again”, clearly ivy has been missing quite a few rehearsals, so for dramas sake maybe from when she found out she was pregnant? also i know i’ve been saying they wouldn’t have rehearsals on weekends, and given my weird timeline this would be a saturday, but its tech week so i’ll allow it. 

May 5: Two Households, Bare, Queen Mab, A Glooming Peace; pretty self explanatory, and it makes sense to have the spring play in early may. rip jason. 

May 11: Absolution; the day before graduation peter goes to confront the priest. gives him a small amount of time to start processing, and it makes sense it would be the night before, at least to me. 

May 12: No Voice; i fucking hate this. “peter, we graduate next sunday” i hate that stupid fucking line. do you know that this timeline literally would be fine if it weren’t for that stupid fucking line? bc then, the school play would be in early may and graduation could be in late may-early june (when most high schools hold graduation) but no. keeping with continuity, they have to graduate the sunday following the school play. “peter we graduate in a month, are you really never gonna talk to me again?” would have been fine. but no, now we have beef. literally everything else about the end of this timeline being kinda weird would work itself out, except for the fucking graduation. god damn. anyway, may 12th, the graduate on may 12th which is really fucking weird bc of that one fucking line. whatever. i didn’t write the damn thing bc if i did i wouldn’t have written that fucking line. (i’ve been at this for over an hour and a half, so i’m a tad annoyed, can you tell?) 

anyway, that’s it. that’s my long as hell proposed bare timeline. if there’s anything glaringly wrong with it i don’t care bc this timeline literally cannot make sense. but honestly, now that i think about the Popular Tween High Schooler Musicals (heathers, bmc, deh) the timelines of those (especially heathers and bmc) don’t make tons of sense either. that’s just the way it is, that’s the way its gonna be. and we have to live with it. 

this post is so long it is actually slowing down my laptop as i type it

[nightswithkookmin]

JIKOOK: ARE CONGRATULATIONS IN ORDER?

Disclaimer:

Everything expressed in here is my opinion. It is not intended to be malicious or disrespectful to any of the parties mentioned in here. Please do not hate on or send hate anyone mentioned in her expressly or by inference.

In my previous posts, I pointed out how this past year, from August 2019 to June 2020 has been a rollercoaster ride for Jikook. Their relationship has been all over the place with some even concluding they have broken up for good- you wish!

My inbox has been flooded with questions such as: Are they still broken up, are they good, are they married...

Y'all think I'd be here blogging at 1 AM for Tumblr if Jikook were married married?- Ok, I would. Lol

But No, Sis. Jikook aren't married. Not that I know of. But don't be sad though because THEY ARE BACK! Fully back to function. By that I mean Jimin mostly. Jk never left. Lol- I'll explain in a bit. But yes, I'm happy to report that they are Jikooking again!

I refrained from posting about their new moments especially this July moments because even though they've been back together after a long period of on and off again relationship during ON comeback through to festa season, and then May when JM finally asked for space in their relationship(see previous posts for details)

I've being unsure about Jimin. I've been anxious to know what the outcome of his asking for space to think things through would be.

Jikook have a push and pull relationship dynamic. We been known. Mostly when one steps back from their relationship for whatever reason, the other leans in to pull them back in.

Same thing has been happening from January where Jimin would be pulling one minute, the next he would be like meh and JK would be push to pull him back in.

That was the case in this (June-July) Japan comeback interviews. Jk was front center with expressing interest in JM pulling him whereas JM was like meh, I'm down for this baby but let's keep it professional for the group's sakes.

Just look at them here... (Photo of them at 2020 Japan interview where Jk said he was looking at JM)

See what I mean? Now you may not notice at first but look at JM's demeanor and compare it to moments in past interviews whenever JK is talking about him or their relationship.

Jk was on his flirting game which he usually is when he wants to break the ice with Jimin if there's been tension between them or when someone around is making a pass at JM and he wants them to know what's up- he ain't slick. Lol

At times too he takes the initiative to flirt when he is feeling super confident and cocky and hella bold and just wants to. Trust me, when he flirts with Jimin, IT IS NOT FOR FANSERVICE. He means that shit.

Now compare JM's body language in that Japan interview moment this one right here: (photo of JM and Jk at the interview where JK said from now on together)

Jimin usually acts very coy, giddy and whipped even around JK when JK flirts with him but most importantly he seems to egg JK on in such moments. He enjoys being claimed openly by JK just as much as JK loves being claimed by JM publicly- which is why as nervous as that makes him he keeps going back for more.

Now this is gonna sound controversial but I have seen JM tell Suga off at times when Suga has tried to initiate skinship with him. I won't show you the picture but you can watch it for yourself during the On Come back where they wore Purple and black. It happened right at the moment Suga touched JMs back. JM mouthed 'Hajima' to Suga to stop touching him. That's all I'm gonna say y'all. Lmho. Don't want trouble.

My point is, these boys have a filter. If they don't want something done to them they won't hesitate to say it or show it. Much like when JK pushed Tae's hand away during a VLive- and he's pushed JM off sometimes too. He is assertive more so than all the members. If he doesn't want something he won't do it or allowed it.

Suga asked him not to get the tattoos when he first expressed interest in them way back in American Hustle life. But he told them if army loves him they would love everything he does and not try to limit him. Jk does as JK pleases.

So yea, if JK didn't like what Jimin has been doing with him he wouldn't be around him much less reciprocate those feelings and actions and initiating them on his own at times. Their interactions are MUTUAL.

And yes, that was shade.

Jimin understands the guts it takes JK to take such initiatives with him and so he kinds of encourages Jk to go on with it or acts in a way that boosts JK's ego. Like when JK shouted 'arrest me' in the middle of an interview. Jk... SMH.

So it was a bit unsettling to watch JM not even try to flirt back with JK in moments like this like he usually would. Dude wasn't even initiating their shtick during this period first of all nor was he responding to them in a way he usually would.

Not sure the aesthetics he was going for here but it screamed let's keep this professional on camera and get naughty when we get home. Or much like, dude I asked for space and I'm realizing I like you just as much but stop coming on too strong.

Which frankly, is what the members have been asking them to do since October last year when the hashtag to cancel Jikook in S.K trended. So JM wouldn't be wrong to take such a stand....

Given that the crux of their issue has been that Jikook is developing into a brand almost independent of BTS' brand and this in a way is affecting the dynamics of the group, a little discretion wouldn't hurt.

The cheers for Jikook moments are getting louder and louder each year even at events such as awards and not just on stage. Jikook is taking a lifeform of it's own. Its becoming a brand almost as powerful as BTS' brand. They are a power couple or becoming one. Like or not. Their fans are becoming loud and large too. So often, lately, it seems they tend to steal the show and direct attention away from the band. It's crazy.

Tae literally had the floor, delivering his speech at the MMA 2019 but people weren't even paying attention to that at all. They were more interested in Jikook and whatever they were doing and they went nuts the moment JK held Jimin and even wilder when he placed his head on Jimin which is what lead to infamous standoff with RM.

JM had literally bumped his butt against Hobi's crotch region moments before the Jikook moment but the crowd didn't lose it as much. Please go back and listen to the deafening sounds of the crowd for yourself.

As much as we love Jikook, there are some that don't and they can be very loud. I'll leave it there. Please support Jikook. Thank you.

BTS had a whole concert end of October 2019 and the hashtag that trended was 'cancel Jikook.' That took away from the hardwork of the band and reduced it to a few seconds of two boys fanboying over eachother. That's.... sigh.

When you see it this way, the RM separating them at Jingle bell red carpet, on stage or even BigHit trying to regulate their Vlives make sense.

Moving on. So yea I wasn't sure about JM all this past few months especially as I believe he had asked for space in their relationship. You might not think much of it but given as JM had said in the past how if he had a lover he would want to be with them all the time and Jikook do spend a lot of time around each other but suddenly hear them talk about spending time apart and enjoying it and what not....

But I think I can stop worrying now because HE IS BACK! There is a new Jimin in town and he is taking names! Good for him!

And I don't mean his new hairdo this August. I mean the new attitude. This attitude:

In this interview he says he would take JK to an island which smart decision. I would take JK too cos dude can do anything, cant he?! Bless him.

But thats beside the point. What I think is happening here is, Jimin finally took a stand. He made up his mind and he is not getting pushed around anymore. Because this Jimin hasn't showed up in a while now. Now he seems quite defiant most times if you've been paying attention to him, so rebellious, so sure of himself. Good for him. Spending time to himself has done him some good. It's given him room to reflect and sort out his priorities.

He loves his work, his band and he loves JK and it's hard when all of those start rubbing against eachother. But Fuck professionalism. He is in love with JK and that is professionalism too. Add loving JK till the end of time to his profession bishes!! :p

Sorry. I got carried away.

But seriously, he seems like his old self but it's also a new self because he hasn't been that self for a hot minute. This is JK's sweat tastes like holy water Jimin. This is I promised Jk I will go to the moon with him Jimin, this is I wanna go on a trip alone with JK Jimin- but badder. If you are a hardcore JM stand like I am you'd understand what I'm talking about.

HE IS BACK BABY! Our daddy is back!

The point of this post is to say, I believe JM finally figured out what he wants. So now hopefully the up and down should die down because quite frankly it's hard to keep up with those two I swear! We need a smooth sail Jikook. Make it happen!

I love it. I love where this is going and I can't wait to see more of their interactions so cheers to Jikookers and congratulations to Jimin for putting his shit together. We wanted rain. We about to be hit with a tsunami of Jikook moments.

Stay blessed. Stay beautiful. Jikook forever.

Signed,

Goldy

[madsdefencesquad]

Hey, I really love your posts and I see we have similar points concerning Mad and Kevin. :) However, I wanted to ask you if you're confident she will be Kevin's endgame. I personally think she is the most likely contender considering all the hints the show has given to us, Justin's and TPTB's interviews and everything... I just try not to expect anything to avoid disappointment, but there's indeed more evidence to Madison being his wife than Cassidy or Sophie. So, what are your thoughts?

Oh my goodness, likewise! Absolutely love your posts about them too

I am pretty much 99% certain that they are endgame. And I’m not just saying that because of the overwhelming foreshadowing in the show itself and Justin’s interviews, etc., but because it makes the absolute most sense for the show itself. This Is Us is a masterfully crafted show about the realities of life that weaves different storylines and characters together in a way that makes ridiculous sense once revealed but without taking away from the conversation and the build-up and the questions/debates for the fans to pore over between episodes and seasons. And that’s why the whole Sophie and Cassidy (and really, all of Kevin’s other women) are in fact, red herrings to Madison being his greatest romantic love. They are part of Kevin’s journey, but not the destination. It has and always have been Madison all along.

The 1% doubt I have of them not being endgame is if 1. the writers suddenly go “Oh well, I guess Sophie’s a fan-favourite and we better please the super loud Sophie and Kevin shippers and/or the hopeless romantics” and honestly, I really don’t think they’re going to go this route because never once have they apologised for the decisions they’ve made in the past controversial or not (esp. regarding Miguel); 2. if they do a completely off-kilter writing decision like kill off Madison (which they won’t because this isn’t some soap opera, for crying out loud) or 3. if they decide to throw away all of Kevin’s character progression in all 4 seasons and by goodness, are we really going to go full Game of Thrones again (or HIMYM) because I will be 10000000% done. I trust them enough to not make such a devastating writing decision.

Season 4 was the season that really cemented it for me that they have planned for their eventual coming together all along. This season, we saw the opening and closure of Cassidy who, mind you, is actually not even that relevant to Kevin’s life apart from making him realise that he wants to have a family that he can take care of. Sure, they can bring her back again as a romantic rival or whatever but logically, how would that even make any sense? Kevin’s not going to all of a sudden leave Madison behind while she carries their children. He’s going to be spending all of his time and energy with her. He is all in. And also, they’re in a completely different state to them and I doubt Cassidy will just leave her own son behind for the sake of pursuing a romantic relationship with someone who is also expecting children with someone else. LOGIC, sis! They were also never in love either!

And even more importantly this season, we saw the closure of the Sophie arc. This may be controversial for a lot of stans (mind you, I loved Sophie too), but if they still believe they’re going to end up together, then we may be watching a very different show altogether. Sure, we can argue that Sophie looking at the ring may play a part in that like, the writers may make Sophie break off her engagement after realising she wants to be with Kevin, and hey, they can use it as another “obstacle” for Kevin and Madison but let’s put our logical hats on, shall we? So, let’s say they do go that route and Sophie comes back to the picture, do we seriously actually want Kevin to leave the woman, who is the mother of his children and the person that he fell so in love with that he went about and proposed to her so they can get married and raise their family together? Not to mention how much of a blow this is for Sophie’s character too. Do we really want her to only exist in Kevin’s life? Like, she can’t have her own happiness with Grant and the future they’ll have together too? That shot of her smiling/laughing upon seeing Kevin’s perfume ad was the biggest giveaway. Like Nicky, she found it amusing because she knew Kevin, not because she was pining. If you saw that as pining then, we are definitely not watching the same show lol Also, during the “What If” ep with Randall, I was so keen to see what would happen to Kevin and I told myself that if he’s married to Sophie in this What If, then that’s it. Sophie’s 100% not gonna be his endgame. And sure enough, she was. And I was like oop there it is.

The only other reason that I can think of for them to not get together is if Madison decides to not go through with getting married. But again, logically, why would Madison, who already told Kevin that she will not ask anything of him when raising the kids even say yes to marrying Kevin in the first place? Some can argue it’s because of the hormones and how overwhelmed she may have felt during the pregnancy but really, I’ll only understand this route after season 5 because right now, we have zero evidence on how they are like with each other as they navigate this pregnancy together. And even then, I’ll still be hard-pressed to believe that she’ll just say yes to Kevin, let alone have Kevin propose out of nowhere too. The fact that he didn’t pursue Sophie at her mother’s funeral showed that he’s grown. He knows how his decisions can hurt others. He didn’t promise Madison that he’ll fall in love with her and become her husband when he said “all in”. He said “the love of my life will be my child” to assure her that he will be there for their baby/ies; it was the responsible adult response for the woman, who is carrying his child. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (please don’t throw it out the windowwww).

Also, the amount of times they’ve tried to make us think that Madison and Kevin are not going to be each other’s endgame to the point of ridiculous is another huge reason as to why they are going to be. Like, why emphasise it so much? Madison literally talked about it TWICE in one dang episode! If they really aren’t going to be, SHOW US, DON’T TELL US. Because right now, we’ve got two seasons left of the entire show and since next season is all about them getting to know each other that leads to them falling in love and to the proposal and then the rest is navigating this new relationship they have WHILE parenting AND leading up to getting married PLUS Kevin and Randall’s fight and Rebecca’s situation, and to do all this in TWO SEASONS ONE OF WHICH IS THE FINALE THAT CONCLUDES EVERYTHING, then they have absolutely no time whatsoever to bring back another woman in Kevin’s life or introduce another one (!!!!). We’ve already got enough characters and storylines as is.

Anyway wow, this is soooo long (I’m soo sorry!!) but I just have sooo much to say! But TL;DR they make the absolute most sense in a logical, realistic, foreshadowed, mega-hinted, clued-in, stop-emphasising-that-they’re-not-endgame-in-every-scene-because-you’re-making-it-obvious-that-they’re-going-to-be kind of way and that is why they are going to be endgame. 

[sweetpinkstylist]

Hello hello! I suppose I have made my active presence known so I should probably discuss the elephant in the room that you may or may not be aware of as I’ve been thinking about it for the past few days. I hope to not be too controversial about it. ^^;

For those of you who don’t know, a post was made on the Love Nikki Facebook that, put simply, has asked fans not to rip the game’s content. Of course, I absolutely respect their motivations for that, that they do not want their content to be stolen and sold and/or put into other games without their consent, and I do not want to be the person giving access to the assets to unscrupulous people.

However, I enjoy making my own fan content with the assets, which I get absolutely no money from, and I would never want to out of principle, so I would likely continue to rip things for my own art projects (I know I haven’t been posting many lately, but I promise they do exist, I just don’t finish many lol). I’ve thought about just quietly keeping any rips I make to myself, but I know other people also like to make art using rips and also do not make or want to make any money from them, and I want to help these people if they aren’t able to rip assets for any reason because, you know, I want to help other fans have fun making their own art.

And, perhaps more pertinently, if someone really wants to put stolen assets in their own game, what’s going to stop them from figuring out how to rip the assets themselves and continuing with only a small bump in the road? I rip things from LN with only four programs, including an image converter and an image editing program. If someone as dumb as me can do it, I’m sure the people with enough technological know-how to make a game of their own can figure it out. How can I sit back knowing literally anyone with the know-how can steal and make money off of LN assets while fans just wanting to make pictures for personal use are unable to?

So...... Now what?

Well, first of all, I will still be making rips, and I will still be posting them in the same Google Drive folder. You are still free to download anything from the folders Backgrounds, Character Sprites, Other Images, and Suits and Items folders and use them to create free fan content.

However, there will be some changes to this tumblr of mine here. I won’t be posting raw rips, and any posts I make announcing rip updates (such as when rips from a new chapter are up) will be toned down to just text posts and will not be tagged to the fandom. I’ll be honest, this is mostly to avoid drawing attention to myself for my, uh....uncondoned activities. ^^;

Secondly, though, I’m going to be more cautious about giving rips for more specific things like items, to decrease the chances I’m just handing over an item that someone will slip into a for-profit game or as a part of an commission or something. Anonymous asks in general are perfectly welcome, of course, but I won’t be replying to anonymous asks for specific rips. I’m a bit nervous about this (by that I mean my anxiety is screaming atm but I’m pushing through lol), but I’m going to have to ask for....well, a bit of vetting if you’d like specific items for something. I want this to be as easy as possible for people who may be anxious about asking for something (believe me, I understand XD), but I’m going to have to ask for a couple things: 1) you can contact me via ask or DM, but keep anonymous off (if you send an ask, I promise I’ll reply privately), 2) I'll be suspicious of tumblrs that are suspiciously empty, so if you’ve been active on tumblr for any time at any point, you’re fine, I just don’t want to give things to people who have just made a blank account for the sake of getting past the anon requirement, if your tumblr is void of content with all default theme and avatar and such, I’ll just have a couple extra questions, and 3) most importantly, please tell me what you’d like to do with the image you want, and, if possible, just show me something of a similar type you’ve done (doesn’t have to be specifically LN, just any not-for-profit art you’ve made using other assets) just so I have some evidence you’re not just saying you’re going to make something you’re not. If you haven’t made things like that before but you want to start with LN and want to ask me for a specific asset for your first project, you’re free to show me, say, a screenshot of what you’ve done so I can still get a bit of evidence that you are telling the truth. Same basic rules apply if you want to ask for something for a friend who isn’t on tumblr, that’s perfectly fine, just, again, let me know what they’d like it for and show me some evidence.

Phew, I hope that’s not too intimidating. ^^; This isn’t a huge problem or anything, but I just want to sort of quietly keep sharing rips for fans while restricting the possibility of someone using me to make a profit off LN assets.

Also, if you’d like to start ripping from LN yourself, I can do my best to help, but I won’t be posting instructions publicly (also, I can’t remember all the steps to set everything up in the first place ^^; ), so just shoot me a DM (you can send me a non-anon ask if you really want, but it’ll be much, much easier to talk it through in a DM, so if you send an ask, I’ll send you a DM lol) and I can do my best to help you out. You can also hmu for my Discord since I actually have it on my phone and rarely pop onto tumblr nowadays. That goes for anything, really lol, if you want to chat to me about anything for any reason on Discord, you can ask for it. I’ve thought about making a LN-centric server where I can announce rip updates/just talk about LN with friends and y’all, but that hasn’t come to fruition because I’m indecisive. Feel free to let me know if anyone would be interested in that because I’ll probably be too nervous to go through with it forever if no one would want that. ^^;

Last note: I’ll be deleting some existing things from my Items folder in the next little while. This is a rather arbitrary decision, but you can ask again for anything I’ve deleted. What I’m going to delete vs keep is also going to be somewhat arbitrary, but....y’know, I’m going to do it.

I’m open to criticism or questions for clarification on this btw. Just don’t be mean XD I am soft. This is probably going to end up being an ongoing work-in-progress because I want to respect the dev’s wishes, but I also want to continue to make fan content and help other fans do the same since the “no rips” rule won’t stop unscrupulous people in the first place. New suits will be incoming to the drive folder in the next few days or so (Miku suits are already there as I ripped them from the jpn server a while ago).

Anyway, I’ve talked enough here. ^^; Hope y’all are enjoying your winter holiday(s) of choice!

[theconstantsidekick]

Hahaha you actually scratched that lol. Also as funny as this is gonna sound, she also couldn't recognize Bucky cause the photo was fucking gainy!!!! Like it was taken 1940s for fuck's sake. He had different hair, a killer smile and you know? One extra limb lmao. So yeah. That definitely played a role in the lack of recognition.

Peggy would be the biggest Bucky x Static shipper and it would piss her offfff. She'd be all pouty and say you're just happy cause this means I won't flirt with you. And Peggy would be like???? No??????? I just think you two dumb bitches deserve happiness????? Steve clearly wasn't cutting it for you. Lmao.

I love that people get so confused as to how to refer to these stories in context to The Falcon, The Winter Soldier and Static... cause honestly? I DON'T KNOW EITHER. Lmao. Is it a sequel or prequel??? Or what??? Not the point tho, point is; we'll see her try to make her own kinda amends soon. So stay tuned for that one. It'll be fun. Promise.

Now, this might be a controversial opinion but she might have been right about SHIELD not being the same but Fury is right too. She does have a tendency of avoiding the problem before being forced to solve it.

Also, buckle up kids, I am definitely giving you a lot of fluffy Steve by the end lmao.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier ft. Static (7)

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader, Peggy Carter x Stark!Reader (one-sided)

Genre: Angst-ridden angst, a bit of fluff if you make it till the end.

Summary: So Fury's alive. He's alive, and very much not dead. And that pisses off Y/n Stark something fierce. Well, that and the fact that she spent ages hating a man who was just as broken as her. Goddamn it!

(These scenes incorporate y/n, codename—Static, into the pre-existing story as a character without making drastic changes to the plot or mythos. All the major plot points from the MCU remain in place with the addition of the reader as Static, who is not only a Stark but also enhanced. Whatever events from the canon aren’t mentioned, take place without much change.)

Warnings: Swearing, Mention of Smoking (once), Mentions of Torture and Past Trauma

a/n: read Age of Ultron (ft. Static) to get a better backstory. Highly recommended. But it’s fun. I promise. Also maybe Quit it, if you feel like understand that throw away smoking reference.

sidenote: Again, I really like this one, idk why. Maybe it's the Led Zeppelin ref.

A kind shoutout to @apolloroid my padawan, for whom I added more Peggy. Cause I'm nice like that.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier ft. Static (6) | Series Masterlist | Age of Ultron (Static Origin Story) | The Avengers (ft. Static) | Static Verse Masterlist

“Hey, Peg—Is that—?”

“Yes...”

“You know, one of these days, that file’s gonna wither away with how much you fiddle with it.”

“Well then, remind me to make a copy.”

“Hmm… Can I?”

“Sure.”

“Steven Grant Rogers. 6 foot 2, blond hair, blue-eyed Brooklyn boy. Captain America is a superior soldier. As a result of Dr. Erskine’s Super Soldier serum, Rogers has become the first enhanced human being—body and mind… Was quite the handsome fella, wasn’t he? I get why the file is withering away.”

“Y/n?”

“Yes, Peggy?”

“Shut up.”

“Yes, Peggy… Wait, are these the—?”

“—Howling Commandos.”

“The ones Dum Dum Dugan used to be a part of?���

“Yeah.”

“I’ve seen most of them, but who’s—I haven’t seen him.”

“Bucky Barnes… He was the first one, actually.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Looks familiar, is all.”

“It was him. He looked right at me like he didn't even know me,” Steve says from next to her. He looks so devastated, it makes Y/n want to weep.

They’re all in a van being escorted to probably their execution or something. There are two guards sitting diagonal to the four of them with their back to the driver’s compartment.

It’s all very ‘Gallows Pole’ by Led Zeppelin if you ask her.

“How's that even possible?” Sam asks from opposite them. “It was like seventy years ago.”

“Are you okay?”

“Just peachy.”

“You look like you've got the plague, Y/n.”

“Ouch! I’d say you’re not my type either, Carter, but we both know that’s absolute horseshit.”

“Incorrigible.”

“But you love me, regardless.”

“Sometimes, perhaps. So, you understand why I’m worried... I know you’ve taken up smoking again, by the way. You’re nowhere near as clever at hiding it as you think you are. So…?”

“...Nightmares, since the last mission.”

“Is it the Sold—”

“Don’t say his name, Peg. Please?”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“What good will that do?”

“Make you feel better maybe?”

“...You know, the funny thing is… My head’s repressed the whole thing so hard, I remember him mostly as this big bad scary monster under the bed. I remember the metal arm, I remember the sensation of it choking me, punching me. I remember the bright red star. I remember screaming for him to stop. I remember the hollow look in his eyes. But for the life of me, I can’t remember what he looked like…”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Who the fuck knows, Peg? Who in the name of fuck knows?”

“Zola,” Steve answers Sam. “Bucky's whole unit was captured in '43, Zola experimented on him. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall. They must have found him and—”

Natasha cuts him off, from next to Sam. “None of that's your fault, Steve.” She’s dazed. God. Y/n almost forgot about her injury. Seems like she can’t do anything right today.

“What are we doing here, Peg?”

“Paying respects.”

“I didn’t know you knew Sergeant Barnes.”

“I didn’t. Not really. But Steve would’ve wanted someone to remember him… Wouldn’t you want someone to remember you? Stand at your grave? Thank you for your service?”

“To be very fucking honest, Peg—by the looks of it, I’m not gonna have anyone left to stand over my grave.”

“Don’t be overdramatic, Stark. You’ll die, just like the rest of us.”

“Why thank you, Carter. That was mighty comforting.”

“Always a pleasure.”

“Was he a good man? From whatever you knew of him, I mean. Was he worth remembering?”

“Steve thought so.”

“And you?”

“I thought he was just as audacious a flirt, as he was a soldier… He had a charming smile though… You would’ve liked him.”

“I don’t doubt it. Steve Rogers had good taste.”

“For Christ’s sake don’t use dead men to flirt with me!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky,” Steve admits, voice smaller, head hanging. “And now he didn’t even—”

“HYDRA commissioned the Winter Soldier program after you went into the ice. The subjects—” FUCK. Correcting herself, Y/n continues softly, “—the people must have been forced to undergo electroconvulsive therapy. They must have made them forget. Brainwashed them... to make them easier to control.” She opens her eyes briefly to look at Steve’s. “He doesn’t remember you cause they didn’t want him to.”

She can see Steve’s heart break in two as the words leave her lips and fuck if she doesn’t feel the same way.

Years upon years spent hating this monster that caused her so much pain; she never even considered the possibility that he was anything else. Never stopped to think what made him that way. Never stopped to think why he’d roll over at every command thrown his way without question. Never stopped to think that maybe, just maybe he wasn’t a monster at all… maybe he was another victim—just like her; forced to become something he wasn’t—just like her.

Fuck. Maybe she didn’t want to. Maybe she didn’t want to because the repercussions would be too big. Because if she had realized back then that he wasn’t a monster, then she would’ve had to sympathize. But fuck, it’s so hard to find sympathy amidst torture. So maybe she stopped herself short of realizing that the monster under her bed wasn't a monster at all. It was just a scared, broken shell of a man… just like her.

Motherfucker!

“How do you know that?” Sam asks, confused. “No, scratch that. Better question. How can you fight like that?! I thought you were a lawyer?”

Her head falls back again, eyes closing to silence everything out. “I should start carrying the degree in my back pocket.”

Natasha winces all of a sudden, and Y/n’s eyes snap open.

Part of her wants to give up the whole damn ruse and get it over with. She’s so damn tired, at this point, she doesn’t have enough shit to give about the consequences of her secrets unfolding.

It wouldn’t help much even if she did let go. Steve is literally encased in giant metal restraints. Natasha’s bleeding out. Sam’s not doing that fucking hot either. She hasn’t used her powers in give or take a couple decades. Her ribs are broken. She’s sure she has a concussion, cause she keeps having flashbacks to moments with Peggy and she hasn’t even touched the emotional exhaustion of finding out she had been villainizing a victim her entire life. And honestly? She’d really rather not touch it at all.

“We need to get a doctor here,” Sam shouts out. “We don't put pressure on that wound, she's gonna bleed out here in the truck—”

He’s cut off by one of the guards pulling out an electric rod.

But then instead of stunning Sam, the rod is jabbed into the other guard, followed by a harsh kick. The moment the other guard falls to the floor—

“Ah. That thing was squeezing my brain,” Maria Hill states, removing her helmet. As all three of them look on at her in shock mixed with a hint of awe, she asks, “Who's this guy?” motioning at Sam.

They cut a hole in the floor of the van. They get out. Maria has a transport waiting for them, a short walk away. She drives them to a safe house.

As they enter what seems like an old abandoned facility, there’s this bone in Y/n’s body that begins to tingle. She doesn’t know how or why, but she knows there’s something around the corner that’s gonna make her shit a brick.

And fuck if she isn’t right.

Cause Maria pulls away from the curtain and—

“About damn time,” Nick Fury, a very alive, a very not assassinated Nick Fury chides from his makeshift hospital bed.

While Natasha gets patched up by the doctor, they all stand around listening to how Fury pulled it off. How he used Tetrodotoxin B or whatever and stayed dead to stay off the radar. He explains everything, and eventually, everyone leaves to clean themselves up. Everyone except Y/n, that is.

She’d stayed painfully silent during the previous interaction, receiving countless concerned glances from Steve. But her jaw was clenched too hard, and her emotions were far too fucking haywire, so she kept mum.

But when they all leave, even Hill (upon Fury’s silent insistence), she grabs a seat next to his bed.

“I feel like a teenager all over again,” Fury muses. “Like I’m about to get my ass reamed by my mother for fucking something up.”

Under any other circumstance, she would’ve been annoyed. She would’ve hated the joke about her age and threw back something about his ass is really not being her type to ream. But these aren’t any regular old circumstances, so instead of an insult and a dirty look, he gets excruciating silence and some more of the clenched jaw.

“Look—”

She cuts him off, “I used to get nightmares. You know the kind that makes you avoid sleeping for days? Yeah. Those kinda nightmares. And fuck,” she lets out a hollow chuckle, “you don’t wanna know what happens when someone like me has nightmares… They’re ground-shaking. Literally.” She exhales heavily. “You can probably guess what they were about.” She looks right at him and after a pause, she adds, “My nightmares are coming true, Nick. My nightmares are coming true and it’s taking everything in me to not split the ground apart.”

“Sorry to tell you, your ladyship. You’re not the only one,” Fury throws back. “But at least you’re not alone.”

She scoffs a little snidely. “You ever heard that song, Gallows Pole?” She asks after a pregnant pause.

“The Led Zeppelin one?” He asks, brow cocking.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve heard it.”

“It’s stuck in my head,” she tells him.

“Not a bad song,” Fury replies.

Nodding once, she agrees. “What do you think S.H.I.E.L.D. is?” She asks him, her head tilting. “The brother or the hangman?” She runs a hand through her hair. “Is it coming to save me or tie the noose around my neck?”

The short silence hangs heavy in the room. Until—

“You know,” Fury begins in an imploring tone, “in the original version? The one by Lead Belly?” He gives her a pointed look. “The hangman never betrays them. He takes his bribe and lets ‘em go.”

She knows. She’s heard it. Some days she likes it better than the Led Zeppelin cover. But that’s not the point.

“Well, this is a new world, apparently. A new take on old things... And yeah,” she throws up her hands in exasperation, “S.H.I.E.L.D. might have been built to save people like me, but right now, the noose is fucking tightening. And all I can see is S.H.I.E.L.D… standing on the pedestal right next to me.”

“HYDRA is the hangman,” Fury defends with unwavering faith. “HYDRA’s the one with the hand on the lever. S.H.I.E.L.D.’s got nothing to do with it. What we’ve built has nothing to do with it.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what you’ve built. I was there for it, all of it.”

“No! You weren’t,” Fury chides. “You,” he points an accusatory finger at her, “You left!”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

“You know why I left! And it turns out, I was right,” she waves her hand, motioning to the situation they are in. “S.H.I.E.L.D. really wasn’t the same anymore,” she can’t keep the spite out of her voice as she adds, “because it was HYDRA.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t know that! You left cause that is what you do. You jumped ship at the first sign of trouble,” Fury retorts.

Well boo fucking hoo, Nicholas. Not everyone likes being a fucking superhero. Sue her if you like. She’d finally get some use out of that damn degree maybe.

“Yeah! You bet your ass I did. And I was swimming along just fine until you dragged me back onto a sinking vessel.” She really wishes she could yell. She can’t but fuck! A part of her is sure Steve is eavesdropping as they speak. The other half of her, however, knows he’s too kind for that sorta shit. Like she said, never let the man try his hand at espionage.

“I brought you back in to save the damn thing!”

“There’s a Nazi shaped hole in the hull, Nick. I don’t think it can be saved,” she answers evenly, anger fading, while sympathy seeps in. He worked damn hard for the organization. S.H.I.E.L.D. belongs to him now, far more than it belongs to her.

She gets to her feet, taking steps towards the exit. Because despite her anger she realizes, the whole conversation is fucking futile. What’s done is done. What she’s done is long done. Nothing more she can do now except try to fix it somehow. Well that and—

“You played with the Tesseract, you bartered with my brother’s life and you dragged me back here.” She turns her head, looking back. “Least you could have done is told me when you thought something was going wrong.”

“What? So you could put on a damn life jacket?”

“Oh for the love of God!” She yells, rage festering all over again. “No! You should’ve told me because it would’ve been the decent fucking thing to do!” And with that, she walks off.

Eventually, she finds herself sitting outside, on the ground, knees pulled to her chest with hands resting atop them. Her head is hanging back and her eyes are closed.

She wants the world to just stop. She closes her eyes to stop looking at all of it, in futile hopes that that's enough to make it stop. She wants it to stop so she can catch her fucking breath.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were having a mid-life crisis,” a gentle voice calls out from behind her.

Well, I’m extremely old, she muses to herself. I think I’m entitled.

“Or maybe I’m just plotting revenge,” she replies.

“If it’s against HYDRA, I might want in,” the voice comes from next to her now. She doesn’t open her eyes though. Not even when he sits down beside her.

She smiles then, at the retort forming in her head. It’s mean, awfully mean. But it’s also so very funny.

But unlike her, his eyes aren’t closed. Noticing her smile he asks, “What?”

“Nothing,” she dismisses him, still smiling.

“Just spit it out.”

“It’s mean.”

“I’m a big boy, I can take it.”

“It’s really mean.”

He exhales heavily. “I can take it, Y/n,” he promises. The tone of his voice and the pledge in his words make her discern the real meaning behind it; I can take you.

Then and only then, she finally looks at him. “Not sure I’d want you on my team, Cap. Fat lotta good you did, last time,” she remarks with a smile.

Steve’s hands fly up to grip the left side of his chest. Feigning hurt with a teasing grimace he says “Medic!” He almost shouts. “Someone get me a medic. I’ve been shot!”

She chuckles at the dramatics. “Told you it was mean,” she says looking ahead.

He laughs a little too. “Fair enough. But look,” when she does, he gestures at himself. “Still standing.”

God, he’s charming when he wants to be.

She nods with a soft smile. “As promised.”

“I’m a man of my word,” Steve states.

“Very few of those left.”

There’s a tender lull in the conversation. The only sound is that of the wind blowing gently. They sit there, calmly, silently until—

“You okay?” He asks.

“I should be asking you that,” she replies, deflecting. Because fuck no. She isn’t okay at all. “You just found out that your best friend is not only alive but—”

“I’ll get him back,” Steve cuts her off. “I’ll get him back.” There’s an unflinching determination in his voice. Yet she isn’t sure if he’s reiterating it to himself or her.

But she really fucking genuinely wants it to be true. So, cautiously she reaches over. She interlaces her hands with his. “Well, you are a man of your word,” she remarks in a falsely jovial tone.

And it gets the job done. Cause then he smiles. As boyish as ever.

He smiles and squeezes her hand and says, “It's kinda why you like me so much.”

And then, she smiles too. "Yeah," she admits. "Yeah, it is."

Find other static verse works here. Find her origin story here.

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[heartoftheveil-blog]

Elena and Hercules for the baby meme!

OKAY SO STORY TIME LMAO

@gothedistance-herc

🌱- When is their birthday? Where were they born? What was the time of day? // 🔠- Who named them? What does their name mean?

So, Elena is very much about a big-ish family, and since the future of her kingdom relies on her having babies, she’d want to make sure that no matter w h a t could happen, one of her children would be next to rule Avalor. Abdications, controversies making them fall out of public favor to rule, etc. And she’d want an even number of kids so that if they pair up, nobody is lonely.

They’d probably have their first in Swynlake BEYOND unplanned, and before they’re married, which would later cause some #scandal when Elena returns to free Avalor. It’s unheard of for a queen to have a child out of wedlock, because it’s still looked down on for Avaloran nobility. But, Elena’s like “lol I’m queen, I do what I want including have Sin Babies with my hot boyfriend.”

But they’d eventually get married to do things the “right” way. Like her mother, she’d add Herc’s last name to hers and her kids would have the father’s surname first legally, but because they’re the Flores royal family, they’d be FIRST NAME HERE Flores in print always.

Avaloran nobility naming customs also usually include all siblings of the same assigned binary gender sharing a First Name, followed by their Given Name (the name they use) and typically a TON of middle names for royalty. For sake of time, I’ll only include the First Name, Given Name, and 2 middle names per Herlena baby, but just know that Elena has 5 middle names so the kids probably do too.

I’m just gonna make up a timeline for this AU lmao so. If it’s 2017 in canon, let’s say that in two more years and some months’ change (early 2020), Elena has her first baby. A few months later, Elena frees Avalor from Shuriki’s grasp (mid-2020) and Elena is 25. A few months later she married Herc in a fancy royal wedding in Avalor (when Elena’s 26, March 2021).

I can kiiiinda see Herc being okay with a lot of kids, provided he’s learned to control his strength at this AU point, but I can’t imagine Herc would be too cool with them being back-to-back though, even though Elena kinda would want them to be. She wants them closer together than she and Isabel. He’d probably go for “look as long as there aren’t a million infants around at once.” Elena probably convinces him “what about we try to have them in pairs?” Two within a few years of each other, pause, two more, pause, etc until either she hits menopause or Herc puts his foot down and is like “no more,” whichever happens first. So it probably would look like this:

1st - their first child and first daughter, Paloma Liliosa “Lili” Anaxandra Luisa Persaud Flores, was born at Swynlake Hospital on January 16th, 2020, at 1:30 PM. Her labor with Lili lasted about thirteen hours, which is kind of average for a first delivery. Naming the little princess was a team effort. Paloma, meaning dove, was one of Herc’s favorite Spanish names. He liked doves. Doves were beautiful and peaceful and hopeful. He couldn’t think of anything finer as a namesake for his daughter - and any other daughters he may have as per Avaloran naming custom. Liliosa is an archaic Spanish name that Elena just really liked. Anaxandra is the name of an Ancient Greek artist. Luisa is Elena’s grandmother’s name.

For months following Lili’s birth, Hercules was a ball of anxiety when it came to touching the baby. Though his control over his strength had improved drastically over the past two years, it was by no means perfect. Nowhere near perfect enough to hold his tiny, very breakable, very delicate infant. He barely trusted himself to touch Elena sometimes.

(In fact, he’s pretty sure that the, uh...time between the sheets when Lili was conceived, he’d given Elena a pretty nasty bruise on her waist just because he kind of lazily held a hand there for a bit while she kinda did her thing on top. At that point, he’d only felt confident enough that he wouldn’t hurt her for them to have sex a handful of times. He must have been feeling too damn confident if he forgot a condom.)

Herc wanted to hold Lili more but he was always, always afraid he’d hurt her. The closest her ever really got to holding his daughter those first few months was slipping an arm around around Elena’s shoulders while she leaned into his chest with Lili in her arms. Elena understood. For the most part. But Herc’s fear of breaking her meant that most everything was entirely up to her despite her boyfriend - the baby’s father - being right there. It wore on her, and he could tell, and the fact that she kept not going off on him for it made him feel even worse than if she did go off on him. She kept telling him he was such a loving father, that Lili was lucky to him, all of this stuff and it just. Kinda hurt. Because it wasn’t fair that Lili was stuck with a father who couldn’t even /hold/ her, couldn’t even change her diaper for fear of breaking her. So he promised himself that before Elena returned to Avalor to overthrow the sorcerer, he’d learn to hold Lili. The first photograph Avalor would see of their Queen, her man, and their baby (which fucking terrified him, knowing that he was soon going to be an actual Queen’s, er...lover?), would be their Queen looking strong and victorious, and her baby in Herc’s arms, sharing in the responsibility so Elena could prioritize rebuilding her kingdom.

And you know? He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he cried a little the first time he was able to cuddle his daughter close to his chest, when she cooed at him and smiled the way he’d seen her do to Elena hundreds of times, as if she’d been getting the snuggle treatment from him all along. The amount of love he felt for her as he kissed her warm little forehead was overwhelming, as it truly hit him that this was his little girl, half him, and that he was responsible for her. That he wouldn’t hurt her, that he had to protect her. And, he decided, her mother. He’d turned to her and “marry me” slipped out in a whisper before he could register it happening.

2nd - their first son, Teófilo Arián Helios Raul Persaud Flores, was born on February 3rd, 2022, a hospital birth, (and another surprise conception, smh) but the epidural didn’t work and Elena was like “Well fuck, I may as well have had the birth at home Jesus fuck.” She was in labor with their second, a boy, for 25 hours from the start of the first strong pains. At first she wanted it drug free because she felt like she was so out of it with Lili, but around hour fifteen she hissed at Herc, “Give me the drugs. Get me the goddamn drugs or I swear to god Hercules Persaud, you will become best friends with your right hand because I will never have sex with you again!” so they started her off on pain meds, then a couple hours later when she was dilated enough for the epidural they gave it to her. But it didn’t work. Their son was born at 10:22 AM. Naming him was a bit of a team effort. Elena chose his - and any other sons’ they may have - first name. Teófilo comes from the Biblical Theophilius (which is funny, since Elena isn’t at all religious) meaning “Love of God” or “Friend of God.” Arián is a Spanish-language name related to Italian Ariano, or Ariàn in Ferrara dialect, which occurs very rarely and might be a misspelling for Adrián. It’s used as a “modern” or “trendy” name in Spanish speaking countries, and while such a name isn’t expected of royalty, Elena really liked it and so did Herc. Helios was chosen by Herc, to match his name. Helios is the Greek god of the sun. Raul was the name of Elena’s deceased father.

Elena tore like mad with their first one, he was a big baby at 10 whole pounds, and though the pain meds in the following days worked she was still in a LOT of pain. She had postpartum depression that set in almost immediately, crying whenever she “had to” hold her baby, almost resenting him for the pain she was still in, but feeling so guilty because she wanted to bond with him and love him the way she’d immediately bonded with Lili, and Herc was so worried about having kids and SHE’S the one who promised him it’d be okay and - and she just felt. So. Awful. But she quickly accepted she needed help and with medication, therapy, and support from Herc and the rest of her family, she got through it and soon enough fell in love with baby Arián.

Hercules almost refused to ever chance getting Elena pregnant again because he felt so guilty about the amount of physical, mental, and emotional pain she went through for Arián, like it was entirely his fault. It killed poor, sweet Hercules to see his dear sunshiney wife like that and he didn’t want to chance making her that miserable again. But it also really hurt him, the entire situation. He’d never say this to Elena, but he lamented to Peg when they came to visit to meet their best friend’s newest baby, “Peg, I don’t think I can do this. What if Elena never gets better and I have to be Arián’s only caretaker? And Lili. Elena can barely look at Lili anymore either. I’m scared. I barely even recognize my own wife, Peg. My wife is sunshine personified and I took all the joy out of her.”

Elena’s baby fever was strong though, and eventually it spread to her husband, so Herc was like “cool, let’s try for the third” and so they tried for a baby, but Fertile Myrtle Elena over here with her Super Uterus made sure the “trying” process wasn’t too long.

3rd - their second daughter, Paloma Ainara Hypatia Lucia Persaud Flores, was born August 20th, 2024, two years after her older brother, at 4:20 AM. Ainara was accidentally a home birth because Elena’s labor with her was surprisingly speedy. She started to feel minor contractions at around 10 PM the previous night, but went to bed because she figured she should sleep some, and if they got worse the pain would wake her. Well, the pain did wake her at around 3:00 AM, but they still weren’t bad enough that Elena wanted to rush to the hospital. She woke Herc up and told him to phone the hospital, that they’d be coming shortly, and she hopped in the shower to shave her legs. For some reason, it bothered her that the doctor delivering her baby might see her hairy legs. At 3:30 AM, she got out of the shower, threw some clothes on, and gathered a makeup bag with the items needed for the exact look she wanted to go for when the cameras would surely come into the room shortly after the birth, just like with Arián. At 3:50 AM, her contractions suddenly became excruciating as her labor sped up drastically. Luckily, Hercules had insisted that as her due date approached, the castle staff a doctor on site. Good thing, too, because there was no getting her to the hospital on time that wouldn’t guarantee their baby wouldn’t be born in a car, so. Ainara’s birth was beyond smooth, much to her parents’ relief.

Ainara is a name from the Basque word “enara”, meaning “a swallow.” Dove swallow - something Elena after the fact said they probably shouldn’t have done, and Ainara DID sound similar to Arián, but...they liked the name. Hypatia, Hercules chose, after Hypatia of Alexandria, who was a Greek mathematician, astronomer, inventor, and philosopher in Egypt, then a part of the Eastern Roman Empire. She was the head of the Neoplatonic school at Alexandria, where she taught philosophy and astronomy. Lucia was after Elena’s deceased mother.

Elena had a mild case of the baby blues the week or so following Ainara’s birth, but nothing like the serious depression following Arián’s birth. Herc was just as relieved as Elena was about that. As a father he was thrilled that his son and older daughter seemed to take to Ainara immediately.

Herc’s never stayed in one place too long, though. And while he would never. Ever. Never ever dream of ditching his wife and beautiful babies in Avalor, he and Elena always planned for him to start doing some work abroad and to spend some time traveling out of Avalor. While he was home with Elena and the kids much of the year, he spent a cumulative time of 2-4 months away annually depending on the year. Though neeeeever consecutively.

Leading up to one of these separations, Elena and Herc shared a very...passionate farewell, which resulted in Elena telling him over the phone she was pregnant the fourth time. They were joined by their twins four years after Ainara.

4th & 5th [bc why not but also twins run in Elena’s family] - Paloma Inez Aesara Noemí Persaud Flores, born December 31st, 2028 11:58 PM and Teófilo Emmanuel “Meme” Lucian Esteban Persaud Flores, born January 1st at 12:02 AM, 2029, 4 years after Ainara’s birth.

Elena was 34 when she had the twins. Inez was named for a Greek poet and her friend Naomi, and Meme was named for a Greek Satirist and her cousin Esteban.

Their sixth and final baby was probably the biggest surprise of all, because number 6 was actually conceived while Elena was actively on birth control, having abandoned her wild idea of “must have an even number.” When Elena was approaching 39, five years after the twins were born and biggest age gap between any of her six children, their fourth daughter was born.

6h - Paloma Martina Arimneste Francisca Persaud Flores, May 27th, 2034, at 7:15 PM. Martina was a surprise, but she absolutely lit up Herc and Elena’s lives. They were pushing 40, and to be honest...it was nice having a child so much younger than the rest, because she was still cuddly and very much a Mommy and Daddy’s girl long after the twins hit their “don’t let my friends see you, it’s embarrassing” stage. Martina was named for Aristotle’s sister, and Francisco, Elena’s grandfather.

So to recap:

Princess Lili - January 16th, 2020

Prince Arián - February 3rd, 2022

Princess Ainara - August 20th, 2024

Princess Inez - December 31st, 2028

Prince Meme - January 1st at 12:02 AM, 2029

Princess Martina -  May 27th, 2034

💤- Was it difficult to get them to fall asleep at night?

Lili - Went to sleep easily at first, but after a few weeks she’d keep Elena and Herc up a lot. When she was first born, they weren’t reeeeally living together. Not because anything was wrong, but because Elena was so close to going to Avalor to fight Shuriki, it was pointless to get an apartment together. So Herc would almost every night sleep at Elena and Isabel’s apartment. Sometimes Elena and the baby would sleep at Herc and Peg’s place, but Peg once threatened to “drop kick that thing if it can’t bloody shut up” so...only sometimes. It was after a particularly sleep deprived few days that Herc was able to hold Lili. It broke his heart when Elena cried begging Lili to go to sleep the night before. After he was able to hold her, Lili still woke up a lot throughout the night, but Elena didn’t always have to get up every time. By the time her brother was born, she slept fine, though.

Arián - was difficult to get to sleep for the first three months, but he’d usually sleep for a solid 4 hours, wake Mom and Dad up, then sleep at least another solid hour, wake mom and dad up. At around 5 months, he was easier to get to sleep but he’d wake up 1-3 times a night for sure every night. When he hit 11 months, he’d usually sleep through the night.

Ainara - was an angel. She almost always slept through the night!

Inez- fell asleep easy and stayed asleep easy, but if she wasn’t in deep enough sleep and Meme was screaming she’d wake up and join him.

Meme- a pain in the ass, lmao. They quickly have the twins separate nurseries because of how often Meme would wake Inez.

Martina - she slept easy and well for the first three months. Four to five months she was a little cranky but as baby six, nothing was new. From then on she slept okay unless she was teething.

🌀- Were they a social, giggly baby? Or were they a shy baby who did not like forced socialization?

Lili - Their oldest was absolutely a people person from day one. She loved being held by literally anybody and when she was old enough to really see, she’s stare at and smile at anybody. And whenever they took her out to eat as a toddler she’s always whirl around in her high chair and be like “hiiiii” to whoever walked by.

Arián - while he wasn’t super shy, he wasn’t quite as friendly as Lili. Arián was very much a Mommy’s boy and he didn’t like to be held by anybody but his parents unless he could see Elena.

Ainara - The shiest of the six Persaud Flores children. She didn’t mind being held by randos as an infant, but when she was old enough to realize that Mami and Daddy were leaving her with someone else and going to be gone a while, she’d run after them and usually smack into the closed door. She didn’t like strangers and would bury her face into Elena or Herc’s shoulder. When she was old enough to speak, if Elena was getting dangerously close to introducing her to a stranger, she’d cry and stretch her arms to Herc and cry “Daddy, take! Take ‘Nawa!”

Inez- the oldest of the twins was pretty social. She’d giggle and smile at most people.

Meme- The most likely to wander off with a stranger tbh. It was very hard to teach him stranger danger, Meme would always run up to randos and try to start a conversation as a little boy.

Martina - She was pretty shy. Very much a Daddy’s girl and while she’d smile and giggle as a baby at people, when she she was old enough to walk and stuff she’d only go to new people if Herc coaxed her into it, told her to go ahead.

🍳- What is their favorite childhood dish?

Lili - She was the most adventurous eater and preferred never to have the same thing too often, even as a small child. If she had peas last night, she’d adamantly insist “No peas!” but a few days later she’d be fine with peas again.

Arián - He was a very picky eater, and he went three whole weeks refusing to eat anything unless chicken was on the plate. Arián would eat anything if you told him there was chicken in it.

Ainara - When she realized meat came from animals, she became a vegetarian at age four. For protein, Elena and Herc explained to her what food she needs to eat a lot of instead. Ainara’s favorite thing ever became peanuts. Boiled peanuts, peanut satay sauce, peanut butter, you name it.

Inez- Her favorite thing to eat was toast with a dippy egg, and when she was old enough to use a stove she’d often go make herself one in the morning and forgo the nice meal the staff prepared.

Meme- He had the worst sweet tooth of all! Meme would cry whenever he was denied cakes and cookies, Herc and Elena had to keep the sweets hidden until he learned to obediently not take sweets without asking.

Martina - Sandwiches. You could trick little Martina into eating anything if you presented it in sandwich form.

🐻- Did they have a favorite teddy bear/stuffed animal?

Lili - her favorite stuffed animal was a hammerhead shark Mateo had gotten for her

Arián - no, he never took to anything particular

Ainara - yes, an anteater her Papá had given her when she was three

Inez- a stuffed dragon

Meme- Meme was a basic bitch, he had a beloved teddy

Martina - her favorite stuffed animal was a red panda

🏡- What kind of environment did they grow up in? Was it in a rural or farmlike home? Or did they grow up in the cities? Or were they a small town/suburban child?

The kids grew up in the palace in Avalor, like Elena did. Herc was waaaaay out of place there at first, and it was obvious, but Elena never tried to push him further into the public limelight than he would just naturally be as her husband. And she didn’t want pressure from the Avaloran public to put a strain on his life, their children’s lives, and their marriage, so she issued a statement regarding how she would like the press and the public to treat her marriage. She’d publically stated “My husband is a private man, please treat him as such. Hercules is a good man, and I will not stifle press freedom to gossip as they wish about how ‘improper’ the Queen’s man is, but I’m going to ask kindly that the media refrain from treating him like you do the rest of the royal family and the political citizens. My husband is not a member of Avaloran nobility. He is not a politician. Hercules studied art history at Sarah Lawrence, not political science, not law, and not business management. Nothing about him has ever been meant for public consumption. I met him when I was in hiding in a small town in England. It’s not his fault he loves me, I wouldn’t leave him alone so he didn’t have much of a choice. He is a wonderful husband to me, and father to our [at the time the statement was made] two children, and I can promise you that the next ruler of Avalor is growing up well with him as their parent. There are more important topics to discuss than my husband’s social status, so I ask that you please respect my husband’s privacy.”

For the most part, Avaloran media obliged, only snapping pictures of Herc in public with the kids for “Famous Parents and Their Kids” bits in magazines, or when he and Elena were spotted on a date. And that helped him settle in life in Avalor over the years. So for the most part he was very happy there, and it helped that Elena encouraged him to live whatever life, whatever career, do whatever travelling he desired, that she knew royal life was never what he expected and so she never pushed the traditional expectations on him.

Happy parents meant happy kids. Since the first time Herc held Lili and knew he could do it without hurting her, he became a very cuddly dad. The kids all got lots of love and attention and hugs from both of their parents, it was a very loving environment despite both of them having busy lives with Elena leading the country and six kids total. It helped that the kids were pretty reasonably spaced out in age, that when the little ones needed attention the big kids wanted to be independent.

👦🏻- What was preschool/kindergarten like?

The kids were all homeschooled by tutors/governesses for preschool/kindergarten age education and part of elementary school.

👧🏻- What was elementary/middle school like?

The kids were only sent to “regular” school lessons 3 days a week starting from age nine, in order to socialize and get to know common everyday Avalorans. They were still mostly educated by private tutors because of the unique requirements of royalty until high school age.

👱🏻‍♀️- What was high school/college like?

At fourteen, the children began to attend normal high school, some days a week were only half days because due to private tutoring they’d surpassed some subjects, and that time was used for additional study at the palace. But for the most part they had normal teenage years and all attended university.

Lili - Attended the University of Kansas in Lawrence, Kansas, USA, and the same Liliosa Persaud Flores was on her diploma and everything, despite Avaloran media calling her Lilosa Flores always. Lili’s quite proud to be her father’s daughter, so she wanted to be Lili Persaud at university. She double majored in Biochemistry and International Studies with a double language focus in Mandarin Chinese and Arabic, and she then went on to earn a masters in Environmental Health Sciences from NYU. She did a lot of with with the WHO post grad.

Arián - Studied at University of Melbourne in Australia for his undergrad. He double-majored in Music Theatre and Composition, with the goal of writing musicals and film scores. Prince Arián worked in Australia and New Zealand for a couple years before returning to Avalor. His dream is to make musical popular in South America, and to be an award-winning composer for films.

Ainara - Was quite frightened to go too far from home, so she studied at a university in Chile, just a short flight from Avalor City. She studied mechanical engineering and went on to earn a Ph.D in the field.

Inez- Inez spent her first few years post high school doing charity work because she didn’t know where she wanted to go to university yet. She eventually went to UCLA to study linguistics, earned up to a Ph.D, and was instrumental in linguistic research throughout her career. She wrote several books explaining linguistic concepts in layman’s terms for the general public so they can understand how language changes and evolves.

Meme- joined the Avaloran military. He attended Avalor City University in his early thirtes. Studied education. So after a career in the military, she just wanted to chill and teach elementary school.

Martina - Studied Political Science at Yale. She earned a Masters’ in Public Policy. Martian worked for the Avaloran Foreign Ministry, their State Department equivalent for years, and other than Lili was the only Persaud Flores child active in politics.

🌋- How often did they get caught doing something bad?

Lili - Rarely. She took her role as role model too seriously.

Arián - All the time! He was always pushing boundaries.

Ainara - Sometimes. She only really did something naughty if others were, or if others had gotten away with it.

Inez- Was the biggest fuckin’ narc of them all.

Meme- He was a little naughty, but usually didn’t get caught.

Martina - Rarely? She was a little mischevious, she liked to play jokes, but she rarely did something ‘bad’ enough to warrant punishment. She learned from her siblings’ mistakes.

🌡- Did they get sick a lot as a child? Did they ever have to go to the hospital for any reason?

Lili - Not really! Though she had to have her appendix removed when she was a teenager.

Arián - Not really, he was also very healthy.

Ainara - Her allergies were always pretty bad so her parents had an arsenal of antihistamines and decongestants at the ready.

Inez- She got strep throat and ear infections often as a child, like aaaaalways. And she eventually had to have her tonsils removed.

Meme- Always caught whatever was going around without fail! And had to have his appendix taken out.

Martina - Was actually born with a heart condition that required several surgeries, but with monitoring it proved not to really hinder her development and life.

🗯- How well did they get along with their siblings?

Lili - Very well, she loved being the big sister. Especially to little Martina, 14 years younger than her. She’d take Martina places with her and show her off.

Arián - He tried to pick fight with Lili a lot, but she’d always give him whatever he wanted and that was no fun for him. But he successfully got under Ainara and the twins’ skin a lot.

Ainara - Ainara and Inez had a rivalry because they liked to take each others’ things without asking. They grew up to be quite close, but they argued a LOT for a lot of years.

Inez- Inez hated Martina for many years because SHE was Daddy’s little princess until Martina came along. But by the time Martina was eight, Inez didn’t hate her for that anymore. Instead, hated her because she always tried to tag along with thirteen-year-old Inez and Herc and Elena sometimes made her let Martina join in on fun. They never really grew close until Martina was sixteen and Inez was twenty-two, after there was an assassination attempt made on Elena and she was in the hospital for a couple weeks. They were both terrified about their mom and Martina was so young, and as Inez was the only sibling in Avalor with her at the time (since it was during Inez’ pre-uni gap years), the twenty-two year old was the main source of comfort for Martina, and the two quickly grew out of their rivalry and had been close since.

Meme- He never really had beef with anyone? He was just a chill dude 95% of the time. He mainly was ready to fight anyone who was mean to his siblings.

Martina - Martina never really had an issue with anyone besides Inez. But even then it was almost entirely Inez being hostile and Martine trying to make Inez like her/think she’s cool/want to hangout with her.

🔷- Free question!  Magick or Mundus?

Lili - magick

Arián - magick

Ainara - mundus

Inez- mundus

Meme- magick

Martina - magick

[tumblunni]

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

no but HOW THE FUCK did they even manage to make the show without showing a sign of this, if this is how they really feel??

i remember how damn uncomfortable I felt at the garnet and amethyst fusion episode back when it first happened, cos it seemed kinda unfortunate and cringy that it was saying that... like... two dark-skinned ladies fuse and their fusion has anger issues even though neither of them had been shown to have anger issues on their own. And she’s like the personification of physical strength and beastial nature and she turns evil for no reason, and then their white teammate has to save the day and prove she’s stronger than them ‘in the real way’ and then they apologise for even daring to fuse. And like.. that only became less uncomfortable when it got put in context, yknow? it was awkward cos it happened so early on in the show before we’d had any other representation to constrast it. By now we’ve seen more development of amethyst and garnet, we’ve seen pearl have more flaws, and we’ve seen other fusions go out of control and stuff. And there’s been more characters of different races with positive depictions and just... seriously HOW does this bullshit actually exist?? I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING BETTER THAN THIS! And there is NO WAY that I’m gonna forgive this bullshit just cos the show is mostly good to me personally. Its so horrible what this represents, cos probably if we cause a fuss about it, it might mean the end of a really promising show that had a lot of LGBTQ representation, and blablabla WHATEVER, I am not gonna be stanning for something like that, as if you’re allowed to be fucking racist if you do enough good things to other people to balance it out! What the fuck! God! But seriously I’m SO PISSED because I DID NOT HATE THE SHOW! Su critical people are probably happy to have a genuine controversy come up so they’re all proven right, but mannnn i wasnt bothered by any of the animation errors and i dont dislike the changes in story direction and i dont dislike the episodes about the regular beach city humans and i dont think Topaz’s design is bad and i didnt agree with ANY OF IT and i STILL REALLY ENJOYED THE SHOW and just... GAHH! fuck, like this has stained every one of my memories, every single good moment in the fucking show, all the time i was just fucking like.. misinterpreting the intentions of a bunch of assholes i cant even enjoy garnet’s triumphant moments and stuff cos i’m gonna keep thinking about how apparantly at least one person on this team is a racist fucker and garnet only ended up being awesome on accident, and god they might have been THINKING THESE FUCKING THINGS ABOUT HER

fuck fuck fuck god seriously its fucked up but i kinda wish this ‘mistake’ could have been in the show instead of in rejected concept art material it deserves to be out there so everyone can see it and see it for what it is it does not deserve to be something hard to find, for a show that looks perfectly okay if you dont see it... racism is the most fucking disgusting thing when its hidden and people suffer in silence And also DEAR GOD I’m already anticipating that people are gonna jump on this and use it as like.. ammo to be all ‘the show was bad because it had gay people in it’, if it fails it’ll probably harm the chances of any similar shows for a while BUT AGAIN I am not ever gonna play the goddamn oppression olympics and sacrifice black people for the sake of queer people especially since FUCKING HELL there are a lot of black queer people who’d see that FUCKING PICTURE and just... dear god I dont know how to say anything constructive about this issue, I’m sorry i just want it all to hurry up and get confirmed one way or another. i wanna see evidence if this is real, or if its not, but god it probably is and I can already imagine the shitstorm of apologists...

im sorry this has just fucking destroyed me seriously

not even JUST a blatantly ‘minstrel show’ design, but also ‘name: concrete, cant read, lol’ ITS LIKE A FUCKING PARODY OF THIS BULLSHIT HOW CAN ANYONE BE THAT RACIST

fuck fuck fuck goodbye

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 4th November 2018

New episode right on time for once, and it’s actually a pretty short week; there’s not much to really talk about here at all. In fact, there are only three new arrivals to review, and nothing all that important happened in between, so let’s just get straight into the top 10.

Top 10

At number-one for the second consecutive week is “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper off the A Star is Born soundtrack.

At number-two, thanks to the video which I thought would make it zoom straight by “Shallow” and make an easy play to the top (not saying I like the song or video, either, but these girls are insanely popular over here), we have “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj, up four spots.

“Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down a space to number-four.

“Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is surprisingly holding on here, with only a one-position drop to number-four.

“Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille gets the same fate down to number-five.

At number-six, we have exactly the same drop for “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora.

To my surprise and dismay, it seems that the top 5 will have a new entry soon, as “ZEZE” by Kodak Black, Travis Scott and Offset continues to rise a spot to number-seven.

And of course, just as I said it was on its way out last week, “On My Mind” by Dynoro and Gigi D’Agostino rebounds two positions up to number-eight. Joy.

Speaking of joy, I am very glad “Lost Without You” by Freya Ridings is returning to the top 10, up four spaces to numer-nine.

And finally, “Electricity” by Silk City and Dua Lipa is down only one spot to #10, rounding off the top 10 very nicely.

Climbers

This might be a short episode, most likely, because there isn’t much of anything, and the charts are showing it pretty evidently, actually, simply because of the lack of quality between all these songs in the top 40. A lot of it isn’t all that bad either, just not worth remembering. Might as well talk about the two new top 20 entries: “Thursday” by Jess Glynne is up five to #18, becoming her eleventh top 20 hit in the UK (it will boost again due to an acoustic rendition duet with Ed Sheeran), while “Taki Taki” by DJ Snake featuring Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez is up two spaces to #20 – this is DJ Snake’s fourth top 20 (and first since 2016), I believe Ozuna’s first ever (congratulations, even though judging on his awful performance on this song he probably doesn’t deserve it), Cardi B’s fourth and Selena Gomez’s ninth (eighth without the Scene).

Other big or notable climbers include: nothing. Oof.

Fallers

There were tons and I mean tons of fallers this week, but they were all so small, unimportant and easily ignorable, with only two really standing out. Those notable fallers were “High Hopes” by Panic! at the Disco falling five spaces to #24 (sadly, I really wanted this to break the top 10), and “Venom” by Eminem falling 10 spaces to #38, as the movie hype, and Eminem’s resurgence, steadily come to a halt.

Dropouts

“Thunderclouds” by LSD (Labrinth, Sia and Diplo) is out from #34 after a pretty dismissible run, “nASSty” by D-Block Europe and Lil Pino is out from its new arrival last week at #35 and “Falling Down” by the late Lil Peep and XXXTENTACION is finally out from #40.

Since there aren’t any returning entries, let’s discuss some promising or interesting happenings from outside the top 40 – “Lost in Japan” by Shawn Mendes is having some incredible boosts (currently at #45) due to a Zedd remix, so to see it coming back would be great – I love that song to death. Due to the film, Bohemian Rhapsody, the song it’s named after, “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, is back at #53. “1999” by Charli XCX and Troye Sivan is also gaining traction, as it’s currently at #59, and I’d love to see Charli come back to the top 40, same with Troye. “Thriller” by Michael Jackson has returned to #63 due to Halloween, yet surprisingly not “Somebody’s Watching Me”. Oh, and “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes has finally made it to the UK at #68, and I want to see this find its way to the top 40 fast. I’ll tell you why if it doesn’t in 2019, probably, as there’s no question it’s making my year-end list if it doesn’t make Billboard’s 2018 list.

NEW ARRIVALS

#36 – “Close to Me” – Ellie Goulding and Diplo featuring Swae Lee

Hey, Ellie Goulding, that’s a familiar face to the UK Top 40 I’ve never actually talked about before. Well, this is her comeback single with Diplo and Swae Lee, and, naturally, it’s hit the UK Top 40 because Goulding’s a superstar, but lower than I expected to be perfectly honest. Nevertheless, this is Goulding’s 21st UK Top 40 hit (which is insane), Diplo’s eleventh (fourth as a solo artist, but he’s had God knows how many frolicking in the production and writing credits) and Swae Lee’s fourth (third as a solo artist – and this won’t be the last we see of him today). Is it able to compare with the artists’ other work, which has been mostly, for the record, pretty great? Well, kind of. I do love that guitar riff that starts off the song, picking up the pace only to be kind of trapped by Ellie’s lack of real vocal presence that she usually has (seriously, she feels like she’s not really bothering here), as well as the drippy synth in the verse and trap percussion (of course) that doesn’t really add much to make the chorus any more interesting than it is (not at all). The melody is uninspired and repetitive, and Swae Lee is still struggling to straddle the line between popstar duet and guest rap verse. That synth added right before the basically non-existent bridge is also pretty ugly, actually. Yeah, there’s not much to be redeemed with this song, and is just kind of a waste of time, in my opinion. I can easily see someone else liking this a lot though.

#34 – “when the party’s over” – Billie Eilish

Well, Eilish, funny seeing you in the top 40. Took a while. She’s had songs bubbling beneath the top 40 in both the UK and US for a while after being a bit of a young indie darling for a year or so, and after that “lovely” song with Khalid from the 13 Reasons Why soundtrack, this new song, “when the party’s over”, seems to be set to blow up, giving her new peaks on charts in the US, Austria, Canada and especially New Zealand, where it hit a peak of #3! This is Eilish’s first ever UK Top 40 hit, and it’s no surprise that I’ve heard only good things before hearing a single song from hers. We start with an ominous, intriguing synth that is then drowned out by lighter cloudy synths following Eilish’s beautiful (at times multi-tracked) vocal melody, until the deep bass kicks in for the catchy hook, with extra additions of piano to make it sound even prettier. Oh, and there’s these pitched-down, feedback-ish backing vocals (assumingly from producer FINNEAS) which sound really great. Eilish’s vocals here are really delicate, working incredibly effectively with the song, which, yes, never actually has any percussion kick in, which is a risky move for a pop song (most likely because she never intended it to hit any charts in the first place). After this and “lovely”, I have my ears out for her next project because this is freaking fantastic.

Now let’s tune down our expectations accordingly.

#14 – “Arms Around You” – XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Maluma and Swae Lee, with an honourable credit to Rio Santana

Okay when I ramble on about how it sucks XXXTENTACION is being posthumously milked, I’m not defending the dude or his actions, I’m just saying it’s pretty crummy for a record label to be doing this type of stuff with someone who’s dead and can’t refuse this type of tampering with his unreleased content. This song was initially written and performed with Rio Santana, planned to be on either Rio’s EP or X’s album ?, before it was replaced with another song featuring Rio, “I don’t even speak spanish lol” (yes, that’s really what it’s called), that also had vocals from Judah and Carlos Andrez. After X’s death, Lil Pump reached out to his mother to ask if he could honour his death by being on the song (which is completely in the right intentions, I may add), and then Swae Lee hopped on the track after what is seemingly a label decision. I can realistically see Swae being a fan of X prior to his death, so I’m not going to whine about that, but bloody Maluma? The dude probably didn’t know he existed, for goodness’ sake. Oh, and we’re getting Skrillex on the beat? XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee, Maluma and Skrillex; what a star-powered mess. Anyways, this is X’s fourth UK top 20 hit, Lil Pump’s second, what I believe to be Maluma’s first (congratulations, I guess), and Swae Lee’s fifth (fourth as a solo artist). Is the song worth all the controversy and all the label frickery? Yeah, probably not, because it’s trash. This bland, Latin-infected pathetic attempt at producing a 2018 pop song is pretty trite, with some ironic and nasally-performed lines from X about protecting his girl (ha) starting off the song, before developing into an admittedly pretty great verse from Lil Pump, demonstrating both a fast flow and some falsetto singing, although without much content to speak of but that’s expected. Not even Swae Lee’s badly-autotuned verse going in one ear and out the other. Maluma sucks too, what a surprise. I’d rather just not talk about this song and leave it here.

Conclusion

Worst of the Week goes to XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Maluma, Swae Lee, Rio Santana, Skrillex, Mally Mall and that tire fire of popular artists for “Arms Around You”, definitely, that’s worst-list material, whilst Best of the Week goes to Billie Eilish for “when the party’s over” – that’s a pretty great song. See ya next week!

[miscellanyblue]

Tales from ‘the heart of modern misogyny’

The Daily Beast unmasking of a New Hampshire House member as the founder of a notorious online forum that has been called “the heart of modern misogyny” sent shockwaves through the state’s political community. The governor, House speaker and GOP party chair all called on Rep. Robert Fisher (R-Laconia) to resign and last week the Republican-led House voted 307-56 to review Fisher’s actions for possible sanctions.

In a Laconia Daily Sun column, Fisher implicitly acknowledged his role in creating the forum when he explained and defended comments attributed to Reddit user pk_atheist in Bonnie Bacarisse’s detailed investigation. The previously anonymous Redditor is the founder of The Red Pill, which bills itself as a forum to discuss “sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.”

Fisher’s defense pointedly omitted any mention of The Red Pill, either his role in creating it or his ongoing involvement in the community. He will have a chance to expound on that Tuesday when he appears before the House Legislative Administration Committee. Here’s what we found.

‘Friends, I am stepping down’

On January 4, 2013, pk_atheist handed off the role of The Red Pill moderator to RedPillSchool, a Redditor whose account had been created just 17 minutes before the message from pk_atheist.

“Friends, I am stepping down,” he wrote. “Thanks for the great month.. this place has really grown and I'm excited for its future. Unfortunately due to circumstances I won't be bringing up here I am officially stepping down as a moderator and will no longer take part in any way with this community.”

“But don't worry..” pk_atheist wrote. “I leave you in the very capable hands of /u/redpillschool. I have been talking with him over the past few weeks and he is more than prepared to continue taking the community in the same direction. So long, and thanks for a memorable experience.”

“Don't worry... I promise to fill the void!” RedPillSchool chimed in. “Pk and I are on the same page.”

Over time, some Red Pillers conflated the two aliases and referred to RedPillSchool as the forum’s founder. For example, pickup artist Daryush "Roosh V" Valizadeh introduced The Red Pill to his blog’s readers by writing, “The Red Pill subreddit was created by an anonymous individual who goes by the handle RedPillSchool.”

When “The Red Pill Sidebar” was published in 2015, a post that had been written by pk_atheist in November 2012 to introduce the forum was included -- but it was now attributed to RedPillSchool. RedPillSchool thanked the member who assembled the collection and he placed a copy on a Red Pill website “so it doesn't disappear one day.”

In that same discussion, RedPillSchool recounted a date he had with a women's studies major who was familiar with The Red Pill and “went on and on about how refreshing it was to go on a date with a guy who was nothing like that. … I told her that I created the forum and actually hated women. She laughed and ordered another round. I don't think people would believe me if I did go public. Lol”

RedPillSchool made an explicit effort to refrain from providing personal details that would threaten his anonymity. In 2013, though, he did confirm his age as “30 +- 2 years.” (Fisher was 28 at the time.) In a Guardian interview he also confirmed that he is “white, atheist [and] conservative” (though admittedly, that likely applies to most Red Pillers).

RedPillSchool does occasionally repeat the story that he inherited The Red Pill from its founder, pk_atheist. “The sub itself was handed over to me early on,” he wrote last year, “I had had a lot of long conversations with the founder who went on to bigger and better things and he trusted I would run the forum well.”

But in a Guardian interview, RedPillSchool changed his story and said that he was the creator of The Red Pill. In the unabridged version of the interview RedPillSchool posted online, he told the reporter that he had been moderating the subreddit “since the red pill's inception.”

RedPillSchool described the events that led him to create the site. “I got started when I stumbled upon a few manosphere blogs and realized there wasn't really a good forum for discussion on masculine topics,” he explained. “I noticed the attitude of women in the dating market was very negative, it was a terrible experience. So that led me to researching others' experiences which led me to the mansophere, and eventually theredpill.”

(The Guardian piece referred to RedSchoolPill as “Morpheus Manfred.” RedPillSchool explained: “A few years ago was my first big interview, it was BBC world News. I needed an email, quickly. So I made a GMAIL, and it needed a name, so I figured, let's try Morpheus. You know, for obvious reasons. They needed a last name though, so I just thought Manfred sounded kinda righteous. Didn't realize they'd read my ‘From’ line on the email and announce me as Morpheus Manfred on the air. Since then I just kept it for consistency's sake.”)

‘We are the Puerarchy’

As The Red Pill grew, RedPillSchool was instrumental in rolling out a series of Red Pill-related websites – all with a connection to Fisher.

The original administrator’s email address for each site was Fisher’s personal email address -- the same email address linked to his campaign website, his band website and included in Fisher’s letter of complaint to the PUC -- and are all hosted on servers in Orlando, Florida. (Fisher once told Redditors that he is “personally spending thousands of dollars to co-locate [computer servers] in places like Florida.”)

The websites include trp.red (email), a Red Pill-related social media platform; forums.red (email), an archive of the Reddit Red Pill subreddits; feministvictims.com (email), a fundraising site for “victims of feminism;” and puerarchy.com (email), RedPillSchool’s blog.

Puerarchy.com is also linked to Fisher through a Google Adsense account. The website shares a Google Adsense publisher ID with insideNH.com, a website authored by Fisher and Rep. Nick Zaricki (R-Goffstown) where the legislators discussed issues related to their work in the New Hampshire House. (The insideNH.com domain name expired last month and the site is now offline.) Ad revenue from the two sites is directed to the same user's account.

Puerarchy.com made its debut in the summer of 2013. The word “puerarchy” was coined by the author of The Manosphere: A New Hope For Masculinity, Ian Ironwood, to describe “the evolution of male values and masculine goals toward a more selfish, self-oriented and unashamedly masculine perspective.”

RedPillSchool embraced the notion as a battle cry: “We’re going to eat pizza. We’re going to play videogames. We’re going to look at porn. We’re going to fuck every bitch we can. And we’re never going to ‘grow up,’” he wrote. “Some of us may make brilliant amounts of money. But one thing’s for sure: what we do is for us- and we’re not going to share. … Honor is dead. Long live the Puerarchy.”

In addition to news and discussion, the site hosts an interactive, text-based game: Slut Quest. It’s a sendup of Depression Quest, the game by female game developer Zoe Quinn that was at the center of the Gamergate controversy. The Slut Quest storyline is a typical Red Pill trope: a woman who has sex with men to advance her career and threatens to accuse them of rape if they don’t accede to her demands. “Slutquest was my crowning achievement,” RedPillSchool wrote.

Feministvictims.com was launched in response to the Andria Richards controversy that resulted in a male tech employee losing his job after she overheard him making an off-color remark. A Huffington Post write-up included a quote from RedPillSchool explaining why he believed the new site was necessary. “Unfortunately in today’s climate, being a man has become a financial liability,” RedPillSchool wrote. “Say the wrong thing in the wrong place and you can find your entire life ruined. Destroyed.”

“Feminists have fought for equality, but now they’re out for our rights,” he continued. “They’re destroying us financially. They’re trying to tear apart our families. We’re saying that enough is enough. No longer should men fear masculinity.”

‘I won't deny that the language is colorful’

When interviewed by Guardian’s Stephen Marche about The Red Pill’s notorious reputation as a misogynistic cesspool, RedPillSchool said, “I won't deny that the language is colorful and there's a lot of emotion expressed by the men on the forum.”

“I would argue that the definition of misogyny isn't really very concrete, that much is labeled as such because it's inconvenient. So, let's say there's a guy who just says ‘well I hate women.’ I think that's textbook misogyny and, in fact, we let them say that,” he continued. Because there's nowhere else for a man to blow off steam. … The endgame of our advice isn't to hate women. It's to understand them so you can stop being so darn frustrated by them.”

“If a guy came on and talked about actually hurting women or plotting to harm them, we'd remove them and possibly contact authorities if there was any risk of an immediate threat,” he insisted. “But this is the one place where men have the freedom to throw around ideas, vent, and discuss openly with other men.”

RedPillSchool denied the forum promotes rape culture. “There's no discussion of rape strategies. It's antithetical to our entire purpose, which is to find a way to become attractive enough that women will want to be with us,” he said. “If the group was seriously pro-rape, there simply wouldn't be a discussion on building attraction. We'd just take 'em all by force.”

“There have been probably a handful of comments I've removed over the past three years,” he continued, “and they're usually one-offs by trolls who want to make the group look pro-rape. They're banned and removed, since that is strictly forbidden in our forum rules.”

On the other hand, RedPillSchool has endorsed the subject of rape as “a great marketing gimmick.” In a post summarizing the “Red Pill state of affairs” written last year, RedPillSchool praised pickup artist "Roosh V" for the attention garnered by his plans for an international meet-up that was condemned as a “make rape legal” rally by detractors. The American blogger is best known for a 2015 article in which he proposed legalizing rape – a piece he said was a “satirical thought experiment” and “not to be taken literally.”

“I really can't fault him for the play that he made,” RedPillSchool wrote. “Some clever statements about rape that could be played off with the plausible deniability of satire, but gaining international attention on the sound bites. He was able to scare feminists and women in every major city, convincing them that big, bad rapists were coming to town to meet, plot and fester in the underbellies of their streets.”

‘The wrath of vitriolic women’

RedPillSchool has apparently been keeping a close eye on the Fisher unmasking and the subsequent reactions. The day Fisher’s response to the Daily Beast article was published by the Laconia Daily Sun, RedPillSchool posted a link to it on a Red Pill-related site. “I just got sent this by somebody on [Reddit],” he wrote.

Saturday, he addressed the unmasking, referring to it as “the recent doxxing of an alleged redpill founder.”

“Knowing the truth and living by it was not enough to save that man from the wrath of vitriolic women,” RedPillSchool wrote. “He stands as a testament to what happens to men who stand alone: They get torn down. Had he not built his own support structure, it could have been the end of his career.”